#my computer I as old as me and it used to be my brother’s. y’know. 20+ years ago

[what-the-fuck-khr]

I CANT UPDATE GENSHIN I DONT HAVE THE SOACE GONNA NECK

[hintofelation99]

Bruce, handing Jason a present: Happy birthday Jaylad, I’m so glad you decided to spend this one with the family.

Jason, opening his present: Thanks B, it’s nice to- what is this?

Bruce: It’s a new bag, now you can get rid of the old one.

Jason: My old duffel bag is in perfect condition, why would I get rid of it?

Bruce: Well, I wouldn’t say it’s in perfect condition. It has some pretty bad stains…

Jason: Alfred got most of those out for me. You know that.

Bruce: Well, it- I just- for the love of god Jason you kept drug dealers heads in that bag!

Jason: Exactly, that just proves it’s a sturdy bag!

Bruce: But the bloodstains!

Jason: Are mostly gone!

Bruce: Just throw out the bag Jason!

Jason: No! It’s sentimental!

Bruce: It’s senti- what the fuck Jason?!

Jason: I’ve had that bag since I was a kid, since before you took me off the streets…

Bruce: Oh, Jason I’m sorry I didn’t-

Jason: Nah I’m just kidding I got it at Walmart after I cut off the first drug lords head and realized I had no where to put it.

Bruce:

Jason: Still not throwing it out.

———

Dick: Happy birthday Little Wing! I’m so glad you’re back and celebrating with us, I really went all out on your present this year.

Dick passes Jason a large box.

Jason: Thanks Dickface, I’m happy to-

Dick absolutely giddy.

Jason: Dick, is this my headstone?

Dick: Yes.

Jason: Did you steal my headstone?

Dick: Yes.

Jason: Did you really steal my headstone, wrap it up, and give it to me for my birthday?

Dick: Yes.

Jason: And you thought this was a good idea?

Dick: Yes.

Jason: …

Dick: So, do you like it? Or do you love it?

Jason looks at the headstone, face blank.

Jason: Dick, I- this- this is the best fucking present you ever got me, let’s go hang it!

———

Jason: So, Timmy…

Tim, on the bat computer not paying attention to Jason: What.

Jason: Y’know it’s my birthday, right?

Tim: Of course I do, why else would I be wearing all black.

Jason: Okay, hardy har har, a super boy t-shirt and black sweatpants don’t count as a mourning outfit.

Tim: Keep telling yourself that.

Jason rolls his eyes leans on Tim’s chair. He proceeds to subtly try to annoy Tim.

Tim: What? Did you come here just to annoy me or did you want something?

Jason: Well, now that you ask… what’d you get me for my birthday?

Tim: Nothing.

Jason, looking unimpressed: Really? You got me nothing?

Tim: Yup. Nothing.

Dick walks into the cave looking at some papers, not paying attention.

Dick: Wow Tim, nice job with that new community center! I still can't believe you were able to buy Jason's old apartment complex before they demolished it.

Dick looks up: Oh, hi Jason! Have you visited the Catherine Todd Community Center yet?

Jason turns to Tim who's basically glowing red. Tim tries not to make eye contact.

Jason: Did you turn my old apartment into a community center?!

Tim: No.

Jason: You fucking liar! How did you do that without me noticing?

Tim, whispering clearly embarassed about how much effort he put into Jason's birthday: You were off planet... and I was, uh, bored?

Jason: You are such a little liar you shithead, god fucking dammit Tim!

Tim: I'm sorry okay!

Jason: Why the fuck are you apologizing?! This is the best present ever you asshole!

Tim: Then why do you sound mad?!?!

Jason: IT'S CALLED BEING AGGRESSIVELY HAPPY ASSHOLE! Fuck, you suck... and I love you... you're a good brother... asshole.

Tim: It wasn't just me, Cass helped.

Dick: Cass has been coordinating the after school events, she's surprisingly good at it. Honestly it could be a future career path.

Cass: Maybe.

Everyone jumps.

Jason: Holy shit, when did you get here?!

Cass: Been here.

Cass passes Jason a brochure for the Catherine Todd Community Center.

Cass: Happy birthday!

———

Damian: Todd. I am told that it is tradition to give family members birthday presents. Here is yours.

Damian immediately leaves.

Jason, looking at the box and reading the letter aloud: 'For the next time'?

Jason opens the box.

Jason: YOU GOT ME A SHOVEL YOU ASSHOLE?!?!

———

Duke, passes Jason an envelope: Hey Jay, happy birthday!

Jason, slowly opening the envelope: Thanks Duke.

Jason looks at the two slips of paper and smiles.

Jason: Wait, what? Are these?

Duke: Two tickets to hear Margaret Atwood speak, I thought it might be fun together. I mean- uh, unless you don't want to- you can take Roy or some one else. I know we're technically brothers, but like-

Jason: Shut up Dukie-

Duke: Did you just call me Dookie-

Jason: Shhh, shut up, there's no technically about it. We're brothers and we're gonna go to this talk together and bond and shit.

Duke smiles: Oh, okay, cool.

———

Steph throws a book at Jason's head: Happy birthday asshole.

Jason, looks at it slightly confused: Wait, did you get me a fucking coupon book?

Steph: Yup, I'm not adopted, I don't get that good good Wayne allowance.

Jason, looks at it for a second then shrugs: Fair, wanna go to Olive Garden? I have a buy one get one entree?

Steph: Hell yeah.

———

Babs tosses a bag at Jason, and tries not to smile: Happy birthday.

Jason, pulls a hoodie out of the bag: What the fuck?

Turns the hoodie around to reveal a sweatshirt that says "Red-arse 4ever" With a giant heart.

Babs, trying not to laugh: Do you like it?

Jason glaring at her: I hate you.

Babs: Try it on!

Jason: Fuck you I'm not-

Roy walks in and sees the hoodie.

Roy: Babe! I love it!!

Babs starts crying laughing.

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar

(Underground Tomb edition!)

Hello friends and degenerate sinners, this is basically a mini headcanon set for Luci’s kid!MC about how the incident with Luke and the Grimoire would go down in this AU to tide you all over until Part 3 comes out! Enjoy!

It was a normal night in the good ol’ HOL... Lucifer was doing paperwork at an ungodly hour of the night, Beel was in the kitchen, and Mammon was screaming and running for dear life. Ah... sweet normalcy.

The custard incident remained the same, MC got force-fed custard and Beel threw a truly fantastic hunger tantrum that culminated in the wall connecting to MC’s room collapsing.

Cue lecture from Luci-father.

“I am very disappointed in you three.” Lucifer rubbed his temples as MC, Beel, and Mammon awkwardly stood in his room. Mammon of course, was trying to avoid the death glares MC was giving him. Poor bastard.

“Especially you two, MC and Beel.”

“Whuh?!” Mammon sputtered. “What about me?!”

“I expect this from you. These two on the other hand,” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at MC who was awkwardly trying to suppress a laugh at Mammon’s aghast expression. “Should know not to act like this.”

“We’re *snrk* sorry, father,” MC paused to try and muscle through a giggle. “It won’t happen again.”

“He ate my custard...” Beel pouted.

“So, MC won’t be able to use their room anymore due to the wall... collapsing.” Lucifer gave Beel a pointed glare.

Mammon smirked, and if he were sitting on a couch, we would have leaned back and kicked his feet up. “Well, obviously since I’m a kind and generous soul I’ll open up my room for poor MC to stay in. My babysittin’ rates are quite high though-”

“BABYSITTING?!” MC snarled, giving Mammon a death glare that could probably kill lesser demons.

Lucifer felt a twinge of pride upon seeing his child give someone his signature bone-chilling glare, if he weren’t supposed to be disappointed he would have given MC a pat on the head and let them hang Mammon from the ceiling.

“Uh- heh- MC, I’m your favourite uncle! Me babysittin’ ya should be an honour!” Mammon was sweating bullets and desperately looking to Beel for help.

“Levi is rapidly approaching favourite uncle status.” MC crossed their arms and huffed.

“Levi?! Wait- does that mean I was your favourite-”

Lucifer was almost tempted to stick MC in Mammon’s room just to have MC punish Mammon so he could get some sleep, tragically, his common sense won out. “MC will be staying with Beel. He has an extra bed in his room after all.”

MC looked over at Beel and smiled. “Could be worse, right? I’ll replace the custard.”

Beel’s smile upon hearing the last part could have lit up the entire Devildom. What a sweetie.

MC still chilled in Beel’s room. They finally got to ask more questions about Belphie, and Beel is more inclined to share what’s up because MC is his big bro’s kid after all!

Because of MC’s half demon-ness, they hadn’t met Belphie at that point in the story unlike in canon. They were just curious about their missing uncle. They ALSO already knew what Belphie looks like because Lucifer gave them an in depth tour of everything and he pointed out all the portraits.

MC, being the sadistic sweetheart they are, went out and bought themselves and Beel replacement custard. MC made sure to eat it right in front of Mammon.

But my oh my, who was texting them? *gasp!* Luke!

MC obviously let their little angel buddy into the house (Luke did not know about MC’s parental situation at that point, keep that in mind). Luke was fun to tease a little after all! And it was nice to have another kid around, but MC would never admit it.

Since MC had literally no reason to be afraid of their dear old dad, they went right up to him and asked him if Luke could stay over. No fear.

“Father?” MC leaned on the doorway to the backyard, Lucifer was playing fetch with Cerberus. MC had never seen someone play fetch so robotically.

“Yes, MC?” Cerberus’ middle head dropped a slobber covered squeaky toy into Lucifer’s gloved hand, the other two heads snapped at the middle one.

“Can I have a friend over?” MC asked, trotting over to give Cerberus some pets. On the first day the dog had tried to eat them, but after giving him some much tastier bacon treats, Cerberus was sweet as pie. Murderous and dangerous pie, that is.

“Do I know this friend?”

“Yes, it’s Luke. Can he stay over?”

Lucifer wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes. “Cerberus is right here, you have access to a dog. Why on earth would you bring the chihuahua over?”

MC snorted and gave Cerberus’ right head some scratches behind the ears. “He’s not a chihuahua all the time, come on, it’s for the good of the exchange program!���

The two had a stare down for a little while, and to his absolute horror, Lucifer felt his resolve cracking. This child of his was too adorable for their own good. “Fine, MC.”

“Yes!” MC fist pumped as Cerberus’ middle and left heads tried to join in on the ear scritches.

“But note,” Lucifer continued. “I expect a full report to give to Lord Diavolo on this whole experience.”

MC frowned and debated sticking their tongue out at their father, they decided against it. “A paper? On a sleepover? Really?”

“Yes. Really.” Lucifer gave MC a flick on the nose. “Like you said, it has to do with the exchange program. Now go make sure the chihuahua doesn’t die and leave you with a mess to clean up.”

The look of complete terror Luke gave MC when they told him that Lucifer said he could stay over was completely worth the paper they were going to have to write.

“What?! You weren’t supposed to tell him I’m here!”

“He said you could stay.”

“Why?! Oh no... did he demand your soul as payment or something?! MC! You shouldn’t have put yourself in that nasty demon’s debt! Don’t worry, I’ll get your soul back somehow.”

MC should have been offended... but they weren’t. I mean, could you stay mad at Luke when he just offered to fight arguably the second most powerful demon in the Devildom to get your soul back?

Now that Luke’s presence in the house was known to everyone, the challenge was no longer keeping Luke hidden, it was making sure Luke didn’t say anything that would get him killed and making sure none of the demon bros made Luke cry.

Mammon was the main culprit of the teasing because Lucifer actually had better things to do. And he had a (totally not a) date with Diavolo so he’d be back late and wouldn’t be home to tease the chihuahua.

Mammon’s status as favourite uncle was hanging by a thread by the end of the first day.

Asmo thought Luke was positively adorable and also very annoying. He offered to paint MC and Luke’s nails. Luke declined, but MC was all for it. (Their cuticles were a MESS by the way, they needed the manicure.)

Luke’s nails were painted gold to match the gold on his outfit! Asmo was quite proud of his work, and was very offended when he was not allowed to try and braid Luke’s hair.

“It looks so soft!”

“You’re not allowed to touch my hair, demon!”

Satan still disliked MC on the basis that they were just a mini-Lucifer and hung out in his room or the library to avoid them and Luke.

It was incredibly annoying when Luke and MC burst into the library to look for cookbooks and treat recipes after Luke told MC about his baking endeavours. Satan debated ordering a pair of ear plugs on Akuzon...

Or perhaps a laser gun...

Both would make him stop hearing the children’s grating voices.

“You two, be quiet.”

“We haven’t spoken since we got in here...”

“You’re breathing too loud.”

Beel remained the only brother who was actually decent to Luke, they all played Go Fish in Beel’s room.

Levi was in his room playing his new video game just like in canon, but he could hear Luke and MC running around outside his room.

He was fully prepared to do that introvert thing where you stay in your room until you hear someone say goodbye to the guest.

Levi’s eyes were glued to his computer screen, just eight more skeleton monsters to kill and he’d get the achievement! His attention crumbled the moment he heard the dreaded sound of...

Guests...

“Hey MC! Whose room is this?”

The sound of a door opening and closing down the hall caused Levi to jump in his seat. Oh no... his worst fears were realized! There was another person in the house!

“That’s Asmodeus’ room. Luke you shouldn’t go around opening everyone’s doors-”

The sound of another door opening and shutting made Levi pause his game and look at Henry 2.0 for help. Maybe if he jumped into the tank and wrapped himself in his tail he’d camouflage into his surroundings...

BAM!

AAAAA! Not enough time! The guest was drawing nearer... he was going to have to... *barf*... SOCIALIZE!

“How about this room?”

Levi braced himself for the incoming social contact... Fs in the chat everyone...

“We shouldn’t bother Levi, let’s do something else.”

HAJEKDJSJSJSJD- BEEL! BEEL JUST SAVED LEVI’S LIFE!

The poor third born slumped back in his seat, the awfulness of socialization avoided. He uh... hadn’t actually left his room in maybe three days... maybe he should actually go outside... enjoy the nonexistent sunlight, y’know?

...nah. Levi went back to his game.

Since the kitchen was broken, Beel, MC, and Luke went out and get AkuDonald’s. They were all out of the toy that Luke and MC wanted so that trip was a disaster! A disaster I say!

Just the image of Beel happily chomping on his eighth burger while Luke and MC angrily pick at their fries makes me want to laugh.

Now the question you’re all waiting for, did Lucifer try and kill Luke and Beel and then MC for trying to take the Grimoire?

N O

“Whose room is behind that door?” Luke pointed to the door to the attic staircase.

MC shrugged and hit their knuckles against the door a few times. “It’s just the door to the attic. My uh- Lucifer said not to go up there because it’s just full of old junk.”

Normally MC would scoff at the idea of being told what not to do and do it out of spite, but MC was a child, and like most children, they hated scary attics. They hadn’t even attempted to open the door in the month they had lived in the house.

“Hm, maybe he’s hiding something...” Luke puffed out his cheeks and knocked on the door. When met with no answer, Luke turned the doorknob. The door creaked open, and the two peeked inside.

A tall spiral staircase greeted them as they tentatively stepped inside. Not so-good Lord, the room was freezing, but it didn’t seem to bother Luke as he walked further into the room.

“What do you think’s up there?” Luke asked, craning his neck to try and get a look at what could be at the top of the stairs.

MC shuddered and crossed their arms. “Like Lucifer said, junk. Nothing important.”

There was a tingling feeling at the base of MC’s neck, their hand flew to the spot only to find nothing, but the uneasiness didn’t cease. Something was very... very off. A shudder creeped up their spine as Luke stepped closer to the staircase.

“Come on,” Luke tutted, placing a hand on the railing. “Demons are known liars!”

Luke was quite difficult to be friends with sometimes, MC had to admit.

With every step Luke took up the stairs, the sense of dread brewing in MC’s gut grew, but they remained rooted to the spot, it was almost like something was physically stopping them from getting closer to those stairs.

Luke stopped on the sixth step and craned his neck to look up again. “Hello?” He called out.

His little voice echoed up the staircase, he was met with no reply for a moment, until a massive shudder wracked both his and MC’s spines.

“Hello.” A voice replied.

Quick as lightning MC dove forward, taking three steps up the stairs despite what felt like electric shocks stabbing into their skin, and yanked Luke back down the stairs and out the door, closing it behind them. MC heard a lazy, carefree chuckle reverberate through their head, and a message that only MC could hear.

“Leaving so soon, Lucifer?”

...

Spooky right?

Anyway- back to Luke and MC being idiots together.

They headed back to Beel’s room to watch some Devildom kid shows, I assume Tom and Jerry just played on repeat.

Luke explained the reason he ran away from Purgatory Hall, and MC legitimately debated whether or not they should throw Luke out of the nearest window for all the jabs he was taking at demons.

“Simeon was going to go out for tea with Diavolo! He even said that I could ask Barbatos to instruct me on the finer points of baking!”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“They’re demons, MC! Simeon and I are angels from the Celestial Realm! We shouldn’t be consorting with demons.”

Once again, bless Beel and his lack of murderous rage when it came to anything other than food.

“MC, Lucifer would be upset if you broke a window.”

“What’s he talking about?”

“Nothing Luke, nothing you need to worry about.”

Don’t worry, no angels were harmed during the visit.

On day two of the extended sleepover, Luke and MC decided to go running around the house again.

“And this is the basement.” MC put their hands on their hips and kissed their teeth as they looked around the Underground tomb. “Perfectly creepy.”

Luke shuddered. “Is this house nothing but one creepy room after another..?”

MC smiled and stuck out their tongue. Their fear of the attic did not extend to the underground tomb. Not that they were actually afraid of the attic or anything...

“Why? You scared some big monster is gonna getcha?” MC teased.

“No!” Luke gasped. “I’m not scared!”

MC began to walk backwards into the darker depths of the tomb, their teasing tone echoing off of the walls. “Then come on! Don’t be chicken!”

Luke looked back and forth from the door out of there, to the rapidly disappearing figure of MC, he rushed after MC.

“I’m not scared of some dark basement.” Luke huffed.

“Why not~?” MC snickered. “There could be ghosts down here... tortured souls of those who were damned to Hell for all eternity~!”

MC swiped Luke’s hat and placed it on their head, Luke jumped at the sudden contact and began to try and get the hat back from MC.

“Stop trying to scare me!” Luke yapped, MC laughed and began to jog deeper into the tomb.

“Maybe there’s a monster that eats chihuahuas down here too! Who knows!” MC twirled the hat with their fingers and ran a little faster when Luke ran after them.

“I AM NOT A CHIHUAHUA!”

Sure, maybe it wasn’t the best course of action to tease and scare one’s friend instead of telling them what they said earlier was mean, but MC wasn’t the best at decision making.

When MC reached a dead end, they stopped and looked around, Luke crashed right into them. He managed to swipe his hat back from a now disinterested MC.

MC’s gaze landed on a book being held up by a statue, they padded over and looked up at it.

“Luke, do you know what that is?” MC asked, turning to look at their now very miffed friend.

“The... book? I don’t know.”

Truthfully, MC didn’t know either. During their first tour of the house, Mammon had interrupted the Underground tomb segment and Lucifer had to cut the tour short.

“It’s uh...” MC pursed their lips and tried to think of a convincing lie. “A spell book. Lucifer told me that it makes your magic really really strong, so he stuck it down here to hide it from Solomon.”

“Did I now?”

MC and Luke screamed and whirled around, there stood Lucifer himself, not looking terribly pleased with the two of them.

“MC, care to explain why you and the angel are so close to the Grimoire?” Lucifer’s words were icily calm, and MC knew that meant if they didn’t come up with a good explanation they’d be in big trouble.

“W-we were just playing down here...” MC trailed off, looking to Luke for some kind of backup before realizing what a stupid idea that was.

“Y-yeah! We were just-”

Lucifer stuck his thumb over his shoulder and glowered at the two. “Out.”

“Yes sir.” Luke and MC mumbled as they stepped away from the Grimoire, Lucifer relaxed slightly as the two walked past him and down the hall.

When the two got back up to Beel’s room, Luke suddenly gasped and turned to MC.

“You said it was a spell book!”

After that, MC got the feeling that Luke was no longer welcome in the house. What was the big deal about almost touching the Grimoire anyway? It could only override pacts and control demons-

Oh.

Balls.

Simeon got called to pick up Luke and before the two of them left MC assured Luke that he could come over and hang out anytime as long as he texted first.

Beel said Luke could come over and bake when the kitchen was fixed, poor Beel would have to do without Luke’s baked goods for a little while longer.

MC rested their chin on the coffee table they were kneeling in front of, stewing in annoyance. Their unfinished homework was practically mocking them, but the Demonology textbook was not what had them in their funk.

“MC, do your homework.” Lucifer said from the living room couch, he was comparing his phone to notes in a binder that was placed on his lap.

A grunt from MC caused him to raise an eyebrow. Their grasp on demonic language had improved, but Lucifer did not approve of them using their new skill to sass him.

“MC.” Lucifer chided, MC turned to look at him with a deadpan expression. “If there’s something wrong, either tell me, or do your work without complaining.”

MC turned back to their homework and tapped their pencil against the textbook, before puffing out their cheek and turning back to Lucifer.

“What’s in the attic?”

For the briefest of moments, Lucifer froze, he forcibly relaxed and went back to his work.

“Junk.” Lucifer replied. “Did you try and go up there?”

MC shook their head. “No, I went into the staircase room, but not up the stairs.”

Lucifer’s eyes flashed, he then took a deep breath and looked at MC. “Good, there’s nothing of interest up there anyway. If you did go up there you might break something or hurt yourself.”

“Okay.” MC sighed, trying to push the voice from the attic out of their mind. “What about the Grimoire? Why is it down in the tomb?”

Lucifer could feel his patience growing thinner and thinner with every question. “So it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.”

“Why not just destroy it?” MC asked, their question wasn’t meant to be taken as an insult or be malicious, it was just legitimate curiosity. “Wouldn’t that be safer?”

The first born hesitated before he answered. He looked over MC, before shaking his head. “...I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

MC’s eyes narrowed, but they went back to their work all the same. It would be about ten minutes of quiet before MC spoke up again.

“When Belphegor gets back from the human world, you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do, huh?”

Lucifer’s eyes snapped up to look at MC, who still had their back turned to him as they scribbled notes from the textbook. His grip on his DDD tightened as he replied.

“Why do you say that, MC?”

MC didn’t seem to register their father’s clipped tone, and shrugged. “Beel said that he isn’t answering his texts or calls, and when he sent up a letter Belphegor didn’t respond to that either.”

“The life of an exchange student is a busy one, as you can see.” Lucifer forcibly injected his last bit of remaining calmness into his words as he gestured at MC’s homework. MC laughed at that.

“Yeah well, I still make time to call my friends and ren back up in the human world.” MC giggled. “And I’m sure those text notifications about his older brother discovering that he has a child would make him pick up the phone.”

“Belphegor might have a much larger workload.” Lucifer retorted, trying to keep himself from snapping at MC.

“But still, you’d think he’d call his-”

“MC-” Lucifer snarled, MC whirled around, the fear and shock in their eyes caused anything Lucifer was going to say to die in his throat.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, before Lucifer took another deep breath and turned back to his work.

“Not right now, MC,” Lucifer whispered. “I’m working.”

...

To be continued...

[treesnutsandleaveswrites]

Left Behind

Pairing: The Bad Batch x Reader (Polyam)

Summary: After staying with Roland Durand, you make up with the team and head out on another mission

Warning: Angst, some fluff, ANGST, injury, Imperial!Crosshair at the end, mentions of shooting and violence, Bad Batch spoilers ig

Word Count: 2445

A/N: I’m kind of on a writing kick rn lol

pt xx, pt xxii

XXXXXXX

You woke up to the sun reaching your eye-line. It was an odd thing to wake up to. The sun barely shined into the flat Cid was letting the Batch borrow, and there was barely any sunlight on Kamino to wake you up either. You sat up in the bed and let the silk sheets pool around. If it wasn’t obvious already, you had stayed the night at Roland’s, deeming it a bit late to buy off a speeder and head back to Cid’s. Beeping came from the communicator of your armor, which made your heart skip a beat.

“Ah, kriff…” You muttered before getting up and grabbing it, “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Hunter asked with a hiss in his voice, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine… I’m still in town.”

He sighed and you could basically hear him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Just… try to get back before the sun is at its highest point or else Echo is gonna reign hellfire on the city to find you.”

You nodded, “Yeah… got it.”

The communicator went dead as Roland walked in wearing a new set of clothes.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?”

You smiled while still looking at the communicator, tossing it slightly in your hands, “Like a baby…”

He observed your movements and his face fell, “Duty calls?”

You nodded, “I should go.”

“Alright… I’ll have a few of my guards escort you. Get ready, I’ll be waiting downstairs.”

“Okay…” You whispered as he walked out.

*******

You made your way out of the building and found a few guards waiting in a speeder.

“Where’s Roland?”

“Dealing with some business. He said to take you back to Cid’s.” One of them explained which caused you to nod and get into the speeder. It wasn’t long until the speeder pulled up in front of Cid’s parlor, where Hunter was talking with Echo and Wrecker. You hopped out of the speeder and waved them off before they pulled out and turned the corner.

“Ad’ika! There you are!” Wrecker grinned before picking you up into a tight hug.

“Hi, Wreck.” You smiled as he set you down and followed them inside.

Tech was sitting at the bar with Omega, showing her something on his datapad. He glanced up at you, then pulled out his blaster and aimed in your direction. The others had done so and were facing the threshold, which made you turn. Roland was standing there in one of his guard’s uniforms, holding the helmet under his arm.

“I’m not here to take your things again, don’t worry.” He said nonchalantly.

“Why are you here?” Cid wondered, leaning against the bar.

He didn’t bother to answer her as he turned his attention to you, “I had to see you were safe…”

You shook your head, “You shouldn’t be here…” You urged back into the threshold, “Please, go…”

“Lodestar…” He whispered, stopping your motions and holding your hands, “You’re welcome anytime, you know that?”

You nodded, not looking into his eyes, “I know…”

“Be careful.” He whispered, kissing your knuckles and leaving the parlor.

You stood in the threshold for a moment before making your way into the parlor.

“So you’re working for anyone now?” Cid asked maliciously.

“I didn’t do a job for him…”

“Well, then what the hell were you doing?”

“Nothing. If I did a job, I would’ve given the money to you.” You admitted, placing your helmet down.

“What did he want?”

“Nothing, he has no interest in your parlor anymore.” You murmured.

“If I catch you slipping up again, you’re out! I don’t care what these boys say!” Cid stated which caused you to nod. A hand was placed on your shoulder and you turned to see Tech.

“Darling-”

“You’re right…” You said plainly, “You shouldn’t trust me.”

“Lodestar-” Echo started.

“I… should have never left with you.”

“Don’t say that, ad’ika.” Wrecker pleaded.

“Cyare…” Hunter murmured, going up to you, “you’re struggling… with something many people struggle with. We aren’t gonna give up on you just like that…”

“Tech was drunk, and whether he likes it or not… he’s not always right.” Echo insisted.

“For once, I agree with that statement.” Tech remarked.

“Please, don’t go.” Omega whispered, “You’re our family. We need you.”

You looked at her for a moment before nodding. She hugged you tight and you hugged her back gently.

“Okay! Enough with the hugging! It’s hurting my eyes!” Cid groaned, “I guess you can stay in touch with Roland, be a double agent or somethin’.”

You smiled gently, but then Omega spoke up.

“What was with the hand kissing thing?”

“Yeah…” Hunter crossed his arms,”What was that?”

You rolled your eyes, “Nothing happened. I guess… he just has slight feelings?”

“Slight?! When we were held hostage, he couldn’t keep himself away from her!” Omega laughed.

“Omega!” You exclaimed.

“You can stay friends with him… but make sure he isn’t too comfortable.” Echo instructed.

“C’mon… you really think I’d give up the four of you for one of him? It’s gonna take more than sweet talk and a four course meal to get out of your hooks.” You crossed your arms. Wrecker laughed and scooped you into his arms.

“That’s our girl!”

All of you headed towards the Marauder and you looked around in confusion.

“Wrecker, where are you taking me?”

“Ah, we have a mission!”

“Seriously? Huh, I guess your enhancements help you recover from hangovers quicker…”

Wrecker set you down once you were all loaded into the ship.

*******

You were looking over some data on the computer while Omega was working on some wiring on Gonky and Hunter was sitting next to you, flipping his knife around.

“We’re being hailed.” Wrecker called out, “It’s from Rex!”

You all looked at each other before heading into the cockpit. Echo opened the transmission on the projector and you saw Rex in a large cloak.

“Hello, boys. Sorry to get right to it, but I could use your help.”

“What do you need, Captain?” Hunter wondered.

“I’ve received a distress signal from a clone trooper, but I’m a bit tied up at the moment to retrieve him.”

“You want us to recover a reg?”

“He’s an old friend, and he’s in trouble. I need you to get him out.”

“Out of what exactly?”

Beeping went off in the transmission, which caused Rex to get frantic, “Can’t talk right now. Sending you his signal. I’ll be in touch.” Then the transmission ended.

“What was that about?” asked Wrecker.

“The distress signal sent by CC-5576 is originating from Daro: a terrestrial planet in the Outer Rim with no known settlements or installations.

“What’s he doing all the way out there?” You wondered.

“Well, does it matter?” Echo asked.

“We’ve gone on missions before without intel, this is stretching it.”

“Rex wouldn’t ask us for help if it wasn’t urgent.” Echo insisted.

“Echo’s got a point.” Wrecker agreed.

“May I remind you that we are in the middle of a job for Cid. If we deviate, we will not be compensated. No money means no food.”

“Oh yeah, Tech’s got a point.” Wrecker said.

“But Rex’s friend is in trouble, that’s more important than getting paid.” Omega butted in.

“Well, the kids got a point.” Wrecker finalized, which caused you to chuckle.

Hunter hesitated before having a small staredown with Echo. He sighed gently, “Lodestar, what’s your say?”

You sat back, “I am ‘Lodestar the Liberator’… you already know my answer, love.”

Hunter nodded, “Fine. We’ll check things out.”

You all nodded in agreement and prepped for Daro.

*******

Tech landed the ship and you all trailed out, following Tech as he tracked the clone’s signal. You looked around, staying behind the group in case of any surprises.

“The signal is coming from here.” Tech announced, which caused Omega to go ahead and find the beacon connected to a large log.

“Found it!” She handed it to Tech.

“Where’s the reg?” Wrecker looked around. Hunter took off his helmet and looked at the ground. You crouched when you felt some uneven earth.

“Hunter… track marks.” You announced, “Fresh… maybe from last night or early this morning.”

“We’re too late… the reg’s been caught.” Hunter concluded, “He was running, then he got dragged this way.”

You all followed him as he moved further towards the mountain just nearby.

“There’s something here.” Hunter looked up at the mountain.

“You’re right. There’s something jamming my signal.”

“I thought you said there was nothing here!” Wrecker exclaimed.

“That data appears to be inaccurate.” Tech stated.

“Wrecker, you, Omega, and Lodestar head back to the ship.”

“I thought-” Omega started.

“Coming here was up for debate. This is not.” Hunter said sternly before turning to you, “I need you to help fly the ship just in case Wrecker needs to bring in heavy fire.”

You nodded and urged Omega to follow Wreck back to the Marauder. Before you went to join them, you grabbed Hunter’s helmet and bumped it with his gently.

“Be careful…”

He nodded before urging his brothers to the mountain. You watched them for a moment before heading back to the cruiser.

Omega paced in the shuttle while waiting for her brothers to come back. You were adjusting the scope on your helmet while Wrecker sat back in one of the chairs. “Meg… come here.” You called, which caused her to hesitate before she stood in front of you. You let out a small laugh and caressed her cheek, “Y’know who you remind me of?” “Who?” She asked grumpily.

“Me.” You smiled, “I was never allowed to go with the others on the field… they made sure I stayed on the ship.”

“They’ve been on so many missions, how could you stand it?”

“I trusted them and they trusted me… of course, I was worried, but they ended up coming back at the end…”

She groaned, “I’m a part of the team now! I should be a part of the action!”

“Dealing with bugs on Ord Mantell wasn’t action? Or co-piloting a shuttle?”

She sighed, “It was, but I want more!”

You chuckled, “You really are a clone at heart… always ready for the action.” You sighed and cupped her face, “But even clones your age need some preparation and training before going into big battles.”

“The clones who are younger than me look as old as Rex!”

You shook your head, “Patience, ‘Meg… there will be a time when you will lead them… right now, we wait.”

She sighed and nodded, going back to her pacing. You went back to cleaning up your armor as you all waited. Eventually, you were in the main part of the ship tending to D-5.

“Maybe let’s not leave you in the mount next time, D-5.”

“D-d-d-damaged?”

“It’s not bad, buddy. Your balance module is just out of place again, and you bent your antenna.”

You finished fixing him and set him next to Gonky, “Stay there, okay?”

“O-o-okay.”

You shook your head and spoke to yourself, “Why do I expect him to listen?”

You made your way into the cockpit, seeing Wrecker and Omega doing the same thing.

“How can you be so calm?” Omega burst at Wrecker.

“I’m recharging! I’ll be ready to go when they call!”

Suddenly, the comm channel opened, “Wrecker! Omega! Lodestar! Meet us at our location!”

Omega got into the pilot's seat with Wrecker, “We’re on our way!”

You stood behind them, hanging on to the back of the chairs.

“Focus, Omega! Stay steady!” You instructed.

“Got it! We are on approach!”

You headed towards the hatch and opened it, pulling out you blaster and stunning the troopers behind them.

“Meg! Get closer!” You called, hanging onto the threshold. Wrecker came to join you as you helped Tech and the other clone onto the ship. You heard an approaching ship.

“We’ve got incoming, 6 o’clock!” You called to Tech, who took over the ships controls.

“Wrecker, get on the gunner’s mount!” Tech ordered. You nodded to Wrecker as you shot at the incoming troopers. You hopped off the ship to help them fend off the attackers as the ship swooped out to avoid the airfighters.

“I said stay on the ship!” Hunter ordered.

“Well, do you want me to jump off the mountain and fly to them?!”

He shook his head as you helped Echo fight off some troopers.

“We’re coming back around! Be ready!” Tech announced on comms

The ship pulled up and Echo jumped onto the ship as you and Hunter shot at the troopers. You looked back to make sure he got on safe, getting hit in the arm in the process.

“Ah!” You were flung back by the blast, losing your balance.

“Lodestar!”

Tech maneuvered the ship to try and catch you, but to no avail, you were already off the platform. Hunter tried to jump for the edge of the ship to catch you, but he missed and he too fell down the cliff.

“Hunter! Lodestar!” Omega called, but Echo grabbed her and urged her into the ship.

As Hunter fell, he tried to dampen his fall by latching into the mountain with his knife, but it wouldn’t hold. He had landed just before a clearing and looked up to see where you fell.

“Lodestar!” He called, “Lodestar!”

“Multiple system failures, we can't take anymore hits!” Tech said on comms.

“Get the ship out of here! I have to find Lodestar and we’ll get back to you!”

“Negative, the odds of escape are not in your favor!”

“I’m not leaving her behind! Go Tech! That’s an order!”

He looked ahead, seeing a shuttle land multiple troopers approaching.

“No! Turn around!” Omega cried, “Hunter, tell them to come back! Order them to come back!”

“Sorry, kid… I can’t do that…” Hunter sighed before sheathing his dagger and surrendering to the troopers.

*******

Crosshair arrived with his squad and looked to the commanding officer who approached him.

“Commander, the other clones got away but we have their leader.”

“What about the other girl?”

“Troopers reported she fell off the cliff. She’s most likely dead.”

“And if she isn’t? That woman has connections all over the outer rim. Do you want the Pykes or the Hutts to be involved with our affairs?”

“N-no, sir.”

“My squad and I will find her with help from your troopers. Get a shuttle ready.” Crosshair ordered and watched as the commanding officer rushed off.

“Commander, do we really need the girl? Isn’t the leader enough?”

Crosshair sneered at his squad member, “Like I said. She has connections in the outer rim. She’s valuable. We aren’t leaving here without her.”

XXXXXXX

Taglist:

@darkangel4121 @lightning-wolffe @alucas528 @rintheemolion @shadowfoxey @butch-medusae @gabile18 @incandescentlywarm @echo-is-worth-more-than-2000 @spidercrush3

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Into The Unknown, Part 7

First

Previous

Sorry the chapter is late my schedule got thrown off by a hurricane

Three days after they arrived in Gotham, they officially ran out of cash.

Honestly, it was a wonder they had even lasted as long as they had. Who knew that rich kids had so much money just laying around? Certainly not her, if she had she probably would have reconsidered rejecting Adrien’s old offers to date to make their fans shut up... because damn.

Now, they sat outside Drake Manor.

Marinette sat, back resting against the gate, playing a game with the baby. In an effort to soothe the kid’s need to fall from high places, she had tossed him a foot in the air and then caught him. Unfortunately, this didn’t seem to help, but it did entertain Damian. He giggled like a madman (mad...baby?) every time she did it and would yell ‘up!’ every time she tried to stop. Her arms were tired. She’d been doing this for what felt like years, and would be doing it for many years to come. Save her.

The only person that could possibly save her was, unfortunately, busy with other things.

Tim was applying for credit cards. He had stuck his computer and phone through the gate to get their wifi so the company wouldn’t be suspicious (Marinette said they probably wouldn’t be but the king of paranoia had insisted) and was now pressed up against it as far as he possibly could, arms poking through the bars to keep working.

“This is only until we have enough money to get on our feet,” Tim said.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Tim, I know.”

He nodded a little against the bars that were pressing against his face and allowed the subject to drop -- for now, Marinette knew it was only a matter of time before he said it again.

“At least one of us needs a job at WE, that’s the only way both of us would be able to send the kid to daycare.”

Marinette stopped tossing Damian, considering, only to immediately start up again when the baby screamed “UP!” at her.

“Probably me,” she said, finally. “The you that lives here is a direct competitor, you might get recognized.”

He nodded his agreement.

And then she sighed and set Damian in her lap because her arms were physically unable to lift him anymore. Damian screamed at her but she just wrapped her arms around him tightly and pet his hair until he relaxed.

When he finally shut up, she said: “You know we’re going to have to wait for both of us to get a job.”

He paused in his typing. “What do you mean?”

“Since it’s WE, they probably have pretty thorough background checks. Two adults that seemingly have lived here their entire lives getting a job at pretty much the exact same time is… more than a little suspicious.”

He pulled his head back from the gate and she wondered idly if he was finally done, but then he just knocked his forehead against the bars. There was a resounding clang that neither of them minded, all of this world’s Drakes were currently at work, and he groaned.

“Yeah, that kind of screams ‘we’re using fake identities’, doesn’t it?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

He groaned again, louder this time.

“I can stay at home,” she offered, somewhat reluctantly. “I can cook.”

He sighed and shook his head as much as the gate would allow. “No. You’re probably going to have an easier time getting a job, WE accepts basically everyone. We need money, so I’ll be a stay-at-home dad.”

Oh.

She smiled a little and looked down at Damian, who was currently petting her hair like she had been petting his just a few moments before. She blinked but reciprocated the action. Damian lit up and reached his hands up so he could get more of her hair.

She leaned down a little and nuzzled her nose against Damian’s.

She glanced up and saw Tim checking over what he had done so far, apparently thinking the conversation over.

Marinette hesitated. If she really wanted, she could just let the conversation drop.

She mumbled a quiet: “... thanks, Tim.”

He didn’t look up from his screen, but she could see the pink tinge in his ears. “It’s fine. I don’t even know what I’d do yet. I’ve only ever had one job and I got it because of nepotism.”

She grinned. “From rich kid to even richer CEO to trophy husband.”

“Oh, how the mighty hath fallen.”

She felt a hand tug her hair and looked down to see Damian pouting, so she started running her fingers through his hair. It was getting kind of long, she wondered if she should get it cut. She didn’t want it to get caught on something, the kid could get hurt.

A thought occurred to her. She glanced at Tim out of the corner of her eyes. “You know… you’re taking my name and I’m going to be the one getting money… maybe you should grow out your hair and I’ll cut mine. Y’know, to really get into our roles.”

He huffed a little. “Shut up.”

She laughed. “Fine. But, really, I think you should grow your hair out. It’d be pretty.”

The both of them tensed at the implications of what she had said. She wondered if she could play it off as a joke… or maybe she should apologize? The blush that had tinged his ears was now creeping down his neck. Was he embarrassed or flustered or angry?

Before she could figure out what to do, Tim’s phone rang.

He fumbled for the phone and pressed it to his ear, successfully hiding the rest of his face from her view.

“Hello?... yes, this is Timothy Drake… yes, I just applied for a new card… I figured I would have a backup in case one of my others got stolen, you know how it is… can I have the card information in advance?... great, thank you!”

He hung up and turned to her, smiling widely.

“We have money.”

She didn’t react how he expected, no playful grin or witty remark or even just a smile. Instead, she doubled over with laughter. Damian whined a little in protest as she threatened to squish him.

He frowned confusedly. “What?”

She motioned vaguely to his face, giggles still spilling from her lips. “It’s just… you’ve been leaning against the gate for so long that it’s made little lines in your face.”

He huffed. “It’s not that funny.”

She managed to get her breathing under control again. “It’s a little funny.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

She opened her mouth to continue the dumb little argument they were having but then Damian yelled: “NO!”

Tim lit up. “HA. He agrees with me.”

She gasped. “Dami, how could you? You’re supposed to be on my side,” she said with an over exaggerated pout.

Damian looked up at her pout for a moment before slowly leaning forward and attempting to wrap his arms around her middle in a hug.

“Oh,” she said softly, carding her fingers through his hair a few times. “Okay, I forgive you.”

“Weak,” Tim teased.

She looked over to send him a glare, but then she saw the fond smile on his face and relaxed.

“I am. Look at him. He’s so cute.”

“Yeah. He is.”

~

Tim leaned back against the bed frame.

Marinette was out at a job interview for WE. He hoped she got it, he didn’t know what they’d do if she didn’t.

But, he didn’t really have much time to think about that. He was on baby duty.

He’d gotten better at dealing with Damian while doing things, it seemed. He had found a position to sit where one knee was pulled to his chest and the other curled close to him, his legs acting as a chair for the kid. One hand held the kid’s bottle as he drank, and the other scrolled through apartment options on his phone.

They’d probably be in an apartment for at least a while. He didn’t know how homeownership was in this new version of Gotham, but in the old one if you were able to afford a house on your own then you were an immediate target for thieves.

So: apartments.

They could probably get away with a one-roomer, at least while Damian was young. It wasn’t like they needed much room for him, anyway, they might even get rid of the crib since it didn’t look like either of them had the willpower to leave the kid in it all night.

Damian slapped the bottle away, apparently done despite only having drank… all of it. Huh, he must have been more out of it than he’d thought.

He turned off his phone and looked down at the baby. Damian looked back up at him, giving that wide-eyed stare babies were so fond of.

Tim cracked, a smile making its way across his face. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of his little brother’s head.

“So, kiddo, what do you want to do?”

Damian babbled at him in an authoritative tone. Tim nodded thoughtfully, as if he understood him and was truly considering the idea of whatever it was he said.

“Interesting idea. I think we should watch TV. Sound good?”

Damian nodded, though Tim really doubted that he had somehow managed to say the exact thing that he had.

He pulled the remote out of the bedside drawer and started flipping through channels, looking for something that was bright and colorful enough for Damian to enjoy it but at least semi-decent so Tim wouldn’t be bored out of his mind.

He came upon Monsters LLC and turned it on. While Tim agreed that, considering the way that Mr. Firenoose acted, the company would totally be an LLC, it just didn’t have the same ring to it as Monsters Inc. So sad. The kids of this world were missing out.

At least Damian seemed to be enjoying it. He gasped and pointed at this world’s version of Sully and yelled “KITTY!”

Before Tim could correct him, though, the knockoff Boo said the same thing.

Great. Well. He supposed the kid was close enough. At least there were no monsters in this world for Damian to mistake for cats. It wouldn’t come back to bite them. Probably.

And, so, that’s how the day went. Tim and Damian sat in bed, Damian leaning back against Tim’s chest and watching his movie, a new bottle of milk half in his mouth. Tim scrolled through apartment options on his phone, picking out a few to check out over the next few days.

After a while, Marinette slipped in. She kicked her shoes off, letting them fly in opposite directions, and then trudged across the room.

She dropped onto the bed face down beside the two boys and Tim frowned.

“I’m guessing that means it didn’t go well?”

“No, I got the job,” she said, her voice muffled. “They said I could start tomorrow if I wanted.”

“... then…?”

She slowly picked her head up. She looked absolutely exhausted. “I’m an intern.”

… yikes.

He hesitantly reached a hand out and patted her head a few times.

She rolled her eyes and pulled a pillow to herself so she could scream into it.

Damian looked away from the movie, eyes wide, and then looked at Tim like he would somehow know how to fix it.

… he probably was supposed to. He was the adult here and, supposedly, married to her.

But Tim was a bat. So, he pulled a classic bat move:

“Want to spar?”

“... kinda,” she admitted. “But what about Damian?”

Damian was currently entranced by a movie about… was that unicorn eating trash?

It didn’t matter. (It totally did. What the fuck was going on in this movie?)

Tim smiled. “I’m sure that Kaalki and Tikki can warn us if something is going to happen. Not that it looks like anything will.”

Marinette hesitated before breaking into a smile. “Okay, let’s do it. I’ve been feeling a little antsy.”

He gently picked up Damian and set him on the bed, telling the kwamis to keep him safe for the maybe ten minutes they would be distracted, and then led Marinette a few feet away so they could let out a little bit of their excess energy.

~~~~~

Next

@nathleigh @peachmuses @unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx @laurcad123 @927roses-and-stuff

[batfamspews]

Steph: *whispering into the phone* Tim I need you to come over right now and take me out on a date.

Tim: Huh? What the heck, Steph?? We broke up, like, a year ago??

Steph: My ex is here…

Tim: … The abusive one?

Steph: Yeah. If he tried anything, which I’m sure he will, I could beat him to a pulp, but, well- I don’t know… Honestly just him being here is giving me PTSD and I’m mega uncomfortable.

Tim: Give me a second.

Later at Steph’s apartment

Tim (Decked out in shades and an 80s hairstyle): Hey there, Babe, ready for our big date?

Steph: *answering the door with a muscular young man following close behind* Oh! Hi! I- I totally forgot.

Steph’s ex: Who are you?

Tim: The name’s Alvin Draper. And you are?

Steph’s ex: I’m an old friend.

Tim: Rad. Let’s go babe.

Steph’s ex: Hang on there, buddy, the two of you are going to have to reschedule your little date because Stephanie and I have some unfinished business we have to get over with tonight. I’m sure you understand. *looms over the doorway threateningly and grips Steph’s shoulder*

Tim: Is that so? Well I’m sure you wouldn’t mind my two brothers and I stickin’ around, wouldja? We took the bus here and already bought our fares for later on tonight. Tight on cash, y’know? I’m sure a fella like you knows how it is.

Steph’s ex: *starts to threaten Tim but stops short when Jason and Dick, decked out in street grunge, step into the doorway. He becomes extremely uncomfortable when he realizes that Dick is at least his size and Jason is bigger. They don’t look happy*

Tim: *smirks* Besides, I know what a catch m’gal can be. Can’t do any harm keeping an eye on you two.

Steph’s ex: *poorly acts like he feels his phone vibrating, grabs it and pretends to read a text* Holy moly, Stephanie, I’m so sorry! I’m gonna have to bail! Emergency at work! *pushes past Tim, Jason and Dick* we can do this some other time! Have fun on you’re date. *takes the stares down*

Steph: *breaths a huge sigh of relief and collapses into Dick’s arms* Thank you so much-

Dick: don’t thank us yet. You’re coming home with us tonight.

Jason: Can I kill him?

Dick: No killing, Jason.

Steph: I’m sure you scared him off. You guys really don’t need to go out of your way-

Tim: Alfred, Cass and Damian are already making up your room. You’re going back to the manor with us. No buts.

Jason: I really wanna kill him.

Dick: The answer is no Jason. Steph, I’m so glad you called us. I know you could have easily defended yourself, but you shouldn’t have to face the man that hurt you alone. *feels her shaking slightly and strokes her hair with empathy and concern* As your brother, I’m honored to back you up.

Steph: *burying her face in Dick’s jacket* Thank you so much. I could have taken him easily. It’s just- the memories-

Tim: We can help you work through those too if it would help.

Jason: And I have a way to prevent it from happening ever again.

Dick: Listen Jason, I’m not happy either but no-

Tim: Wanna blackmail him?

Dick: ???

Tim: Don’t worry Dick we won’t touch him. But there are things that hurt more than getting hit.

Jason: *grins dangerously*

Dick: *helpless* I guess so but don’t physically touch the guy. You’re in charge, Tim.

Steph: Ooh! Ooh! I can help! I have so much trash on him from when we were dating and I got him to tell me some more recent stuff tonight!

Jason: That’s my girl!

Tim: Perfect! Let’s regroup at the manor!

Steph: Let me grab my suit and computer! *hugs Dick and then pulls away and runs into her apartment with Tim following close behind*

Jason: You think old Bats will approve?

Dick: …

Dick: I know he loves Steph but I’m not sure if he’d be a big fan of your tactics.

Jason: so what are you going to do?

Dick: *deep sigh* Seeing as how that guy hurt Steph, was willing to do it again and probably is doing it to helpless young ladies, I’m not telling him anything. *grins mischievously* -Especially that I’m helping you bring him to justice.

Jason: *smiles and follows him into the apartment*

[awhitehead17]

Batfam Alphabet: B - Bat Label

Summary: Unknowingly at nine years old, Dick started a tradition by labelling everything Bruce owns with the term bat at the beginning of it. Even now, years later, the family are still putting that labelling method to good use, even if it’s not used in the most serious of ways. 

Enjoy! :D

“What’s that?”

The question comes out of nowhere and Tim blinks before registering that he should give an answer. He glances at Jason who is standing next to him on his right.

“It’s a radar. I decided to do a little bit of experimenting, it’s supposed to specifically recognise-”

Jason waves his hand through the air in a slashing motion. “I really don’t care,” he deadpans, “I only asked what it was, not for a detailed explanation of it.”

Tim glares at him, feeling both annoyed and offended by the comment. Instead of retorting Tim goes back to his device and scans the area they are investigating. The two of them are out on patrol and have been sent to this location after reports of a truck full of highly toxic chemicals had recently passed through. Tim and Jason are to investigate and see if they can find any clues on this mysterious truck, Tim also thought this would be a good opportunity to try out his new gadget he built.

“Does it have a name?” Jason asks out of the blue again.

Tim frowns, considering Jason declares he’s not interested in his device he sure does seem curious about it.

“Uh no… why?”

“You should call it the batdar.”

Tim gapes at him, completely bewildered by the comment. His brother is wearing that stupid helmet so Tim couldn’t even get a clue to his facial expression on whether he’s being serious about this or not.

“What?” He gets out in the end, having no idea on what Jason is thinking.

“Yeah y’know, how everything we have has been named bat-something. Batcave, batmobile, batcomputer, batarangs, bat-signal. That could be the batdar.”

Tim just stares at Jason, following the man’s movements as he walks around the alley inspecting it. After several beats Tim shakes his head. “No. Absolutely not. That’s so stupid.”

Jason turns to him. “How so? Everything else works, so this could too. It just doesn’t sound right because it’s new.”

Tim runs a hand over his face in exasperation, not for the first time he worries about Jason’s mental wellbeing and maturity. “You do realise that everything else was named by Dick when he was nine. Bruce only started using those names because Dick kept insisting on it.”

“I know. I don’t see why we can’t keep the tradition going. I mean, in the community we’re known at the batfamily, so it really isn’t too farfetched.”

Tim shakes his head again and decides to drop the subject, it’s probably best to not indulge Jason with this line of thinking, it’ll only encourage him more and it’s already bad enough as it is.

Turns out Jason isn’t giving up the idea of naming Tim’s gadgets any time soon. As soon as they arrive back at the cave he brings it up again, this time dragging Steph and Dick into the conversation who eagerly respond to it.

“I think it’s great!” Steph claims grinning widely, she swivels around in the computer chair with a smiling Dick standing next to her.

Tim rolls his eyes at her. “Of course you would, it’s stupid.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” She challenges him.

“You know exactly what I mean.” Tim retorts raising an eyebrow.

“I think we should label most things starting with ‘bat’. We have a reputation after all.” She says looking around, as if trying to find inspiration from around the cave.

“I mean there’s the batsuit.” Dick inputs from where he’s leaning against the computer desk.

“What about the batvault? Like where Bruce keeps all the hardcore stuff.”

“That could work.” Dick agrees easily. He reaches out and pokes at the chair Steph is sat in. “This could be the batchair.”

Steph hums. “Maybe, but wouldn’t the batchair be more suitable for Bruce’s chair at the Justice League HQ?”

“Good point.”

The two of them continue to throw words starting with bat at each other, each of them debating the suggestion before moving onto the next. After several minutes of this, Tim turns to Jason with an exasperated look on his face. “This is on you, look at what you have done.”

“I have no idea what you mean.” Jason smirks mischievously, his words counteracting his expression. The bastard knows exactly what he’s done.

“Hey, you know what,” Dick starts, getting their attention again, “when I was ten I tried calling Alfred Bruce’s batler.”

Dick receives a few surprised snorts for that statement.

“What was Alfred’s response to that?” Jason queries amusedly. Even Tim has to admit he’s curious to that one.

“All he did was raise an eyebrow at me and sent me that look. You know the one.”

They all snicker at the mental image of a tiny Dick Grayson being on the receiving send of one of Alfred disapproving looks.

“And here I was thinking we were the only ones still up at this time in the morning.”

A new voice interrupts their conversation and gets their attention. The four of them all look over to find Duke and Cass making their way across the cave towards them. The two groups at look at one another respectively, wondering the same thing, after all it is four in the morning and six of them were still up.

“Well we’re discussing the all-important matter of adding ‘bat’ to everything we own, because after all we do have a reputation to uphold.” Steph tells them.

Cass looks amused while Duke looks rightfully confused.

Tim holds up his hands. “I did not agree to this, Jason brought it up and here we are.”

“Ah ah ah,” Jason denies, “if you want to get technical, it’s originally Dick who brought it up, when he was nine. He started this whole ‘bat’ thing.”

Tim sends him a disbelieving look. “You brought it up tonight by calling my gadget the batdar. This is on you!”

His comment goes ignores as Jason addresses the rest of the group. “Did you know that Roy has nicknamed Bruce our bat-dad? I cracked up laughing when I first heard him say it so casually.”

Dick chuckles, nodding, “I do know that, yeah, I think he used it when we were in the Titan’s together a time or two.”

Steph spins on the chair to face Cass and Duke. “Have anything to add, any ideas to share?”

“Batcow.” Cass supplies simply.

Steph clicks her fingers, her face lighting up in recognition. “Oh yeah! How could we forget. Damian’s batcow and then there’s Titus and Ace as our bathounds.”

“I’ve got nothing,” Duke shakes his head seeming apologetic for not coming up with anything, “but all I know is that you’re all batshit crazy.”

A sudden silence envelops the room and everyone turns to stare at Duke. Duke himself is fighting a smile, clearly proud of his quip, but then loses the battle after Jason barks out a laugh, breaking the silence. Jason’s laugh is contagious and soon enough all of them have cracked up over Duke’s comment.

“Oh Duke, I knew there was a reason why I liked you, you dark horse.” Jason says breathlessly.

Duke shrugs sheepishly and seems to accept his words. Once they all calmed down, Tim decides he’s had enough and decides that he wants to go to bed, after all it is late, or early depending how you see it. Also he’s so done with the talk of bat named things.

Wishing everyone a goodnight Tim heads towards the stairs and in hindsight he really should have expected the next lot of comments giving that nights theme.

“Night Timmy, sleep tight-”

“- and don’t let the batbugs bite!”

As Tim groans another round of laughter starts up behind him. Why does he hang around these people again? What is the sole purpose of them? He swears that they lower his IQ bit by bit everyday and that’s saying something considering his best friends are Kon and Bart.

He loves them all really (Damian is very much debatable in that matter), but sometimes they really test him. He has to admit though life would be very different without them, he may complain about his family but he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

[harrysgoldenshe]

That Bloody Damn Pasta Bridge

Harry hates disciplining his children. He hates it so much that there's an unspoken rule in your marriage where you always have to be the bad cop and he gets to play the very loved role of the good cop. However, he has his moments where he has to raise his voice and though he always feels guilty afterwards, he knows his kid won't make the same mistake twice.

On this particular night, your eldest son, James, was testing his limits with Harry. You're away on a business trip and you won't be back until 3 more days. Harry, of course, does not mind having some alone time with your two kids. In fact, he was over the moon happy when you announced you had to leave for an entire week. In Harry’s mind, you being away meant he got to do things with the kids that you wouldn't normally allow. Him and James had already spent an evening binging out on some snacks until it was nearing 3 am. Harry even went a step further and decided that your daughter, Evelyn, should skip her usual nap time to go to the park one afternoon. Even though he immediately regretted that decision, Harry lived for moments like these with his kids because he knows its times that they’ll remember forever. In Harry’s mind, you leaving meant that he and his two kids were going to have a blast.

Harry did not plan for your son to come to him on a Thursday night after he had just put his younger sister down for bedtime, telling him that he needed his help with a school project. Harry, also, did not plan on working on this project the night before it was due.

“I cannot believe you let yourself not do a single thing until this last minute,” Harry scowled at his 13 year old son who stood beside him, reading out loud the criteria for the project. “You’ve really gone and screwed yourself over,” He went on. “I shouldn’t even be helping you with this bloody damn thing! You have no idea what you’re doing and I sure as hell don’t! Have fun explaining to your mum why you’ve failed this,” His accent getting thicker as he grew angrier.

“Dad, please. I didn't know it was due tomorrow, I thought I had another week!” James tried to reason with his father

“Another week,” Harry scoffed. “Says it right here when it’s due!” He grabbed the page out of his son’s hand and waved it around. “Due date, June 4th! Make a bridge that will support as many textbooks as possible! Use time in class to prepare! James’ a pillock! A goddamn twit!” Harry went on reading from the page, making the two last statements up

Your son, hating the fact that his dad was not only angry with him but furious enough to start calling him names, grew more annoyed and frustrated.

“You’re not helping!” James told Harry

“Course not, this isn’t my problem,” Harry reminded his son. “Now tell me how you’re going to make this bridge mate? I’d really love to know,” He asked him

“I-I don't know,” His son answered

“You know what? I was considering helping you but not anymore. I want you upstairs in your room and I better not see your face until tomorrow morning when you leave for school empty handed,” Harry raised his voice as he pointed to the staircase.

“Can I work on the bridge in my room?” James questioned

“The hell you can!” Harry exclaimed. “There are consequences to your actions, James, and you are going to learn just how much you're going to have to work to obtain a proper grade once you've had a zero. I have never been so disappointed in my entire life, I cannot believe you,” He shook his head.

Now this is what caused James’ breaking point. Having his father be angry with him and call him names barely hurt him but hearing that Harry was disappointed in him cut sharply. James works hard to make both of his parents proud and he knows he’s in the wrong about this project but his father’s words rang in the back of his mind.

The 14 year old inhaled sharply as he felt his eyes tear up.

“You can’t do this to me!” He replied to his father. “I’m calling mum,” He quickly added before stomping up the stairs.

Harry let out a sigh as he walked to the staircase.

“Go ahead and call her! I would love to see how she reacts to you not doing a project! Please be my guest and tattle on me,” He called after his son

The only response he got was a door slamming that quickly followed with Evelyn calling out for her father.

“Now he’s gone and woke his sister up,” Harry huffed as he marched up the stairs.

He debated going into his son’s room and arguing with him some more but he decided that they both had enough. Harry went into Evelyn’s room and stayed with her until she fell back asleep which luckily didn't take too long.

Harry let out a sigh as he gently closed the door to his daughter’s room as he noticed that the light was off in James’. Harry went into his own bedroom where he took a quick shower and got ready for bed. He climbed into his bed, phone in hand. The only text from you was one he saw a few hours ago when you wished your family a goodnight before you headed to bed yourself.

Content that James didn’t actually tattle on him, Harry laid back and closed his eyes, getting ready for sleep to overtake him. However he found himself tossing and turning.

The next thing he knew, he was downstairs leaning against the kitchen counter with his eyes glued on his computer screen as he searched up the best methods to build a bridge.

“Linguini noodles, really?” He questioned himself.

After reading different articles, he found that the pasta was a frequent method used.

Harry got up from his seat and went into the kitchen to retrieve a few boxes of the noodles before going into the laundry room to find your hot glue gun.

“Okay, let’s do this,” He said as he sat back down.

Taking a few noodles out of a box, Harry glanced back to his computer screen to make sure he was about to do the right thing.

“I guess… I just… A triangle… Right right… Makes sense…” He mumbled to himself as he started to break the pasta in pieces.

Harry started to glue the pasta together to form a triangle, since his source said that triangular trusses would work better than rectangular ones.

He kept building from there, only stopping to check his source to make sure he was doing it correctly. He gave himself one break where he chugged down two cups of coffee in order to help him stay up.

Harry glued the last piece of pasta onto the bridge, his eyes feeling heavy. He let out a content sigh as he laid his head on the table, telling himself he’ll rest his eyes for a moment before cleaning up and heading upstairs.

“S’not even that late,” He argued with himself as he closed his eyes.

The clock on the stove flashing 3:43am would argue otherwise.

***

Harry abruptly woke up to someone shaking his shoulder. He rubbed his eyes and looked at his surroundings, completely confused as to why he was being woken up in his kitchen to James holding Evelyn in his arms.

“Wha’s going on?” He asked his oldest

“I, uh, woke up and found you snoring at the table so I go Eve ready and make us breakfast but now I need to get ready for school,” James told his father

Suddenly the memories of arguing with his son over a school project became clear in Harry’s mind. He glanced at the bridge he built which still stood where he had left it. Clearly James had seen it.

“Right right, go on then. Thank you for taking care of yer sister, I couldn't sleep last night. Didn't mean to fall asleep here,” Harry said.

James handed his sister to his father and raced up the stairs without saying another word. Harry glanced at the clock and saw that there was 20 minutes left before James had to leave for school.

“How’re you this morning princess?” Harry asked his daughter who made herself comfortable on his lap.

“Perfect! James made me cereal while he cleaned up noodles from the table,” His daughter answered. “Why were you playing with noodles at night, daddy?” She questioned him.

Harry let out a laugh.

“I wasn't playing with them baby, was helping your brother with something and fell asleep before I could clean up,” He told her. “Don't you go telling mommy that, y’know how much she hates it when I leave the kitchen dirty,” He quickly added, knowing that his youngest would tell you everything that happened once you came back home.

He learned that he had to ask his daughter not to tell you certain things or else his secrets would be out.

“Pinky promise,” Evelyn agreed, locking her finger to Harry’s

“Thank you baby,” Harry kissed her cheek. “Now go on and play in the kitchen while I talk to your brother,” He said as he let her down from his lap once he noticed his son walking down the stairs.

Evelyn listened and skipped her way into the living room.

“Sit down,” Harry told his son.

James wasted no time to take a seat next to his father.

“I want to apologize for what I said to you last night, wasn't nice of me to call you names even if you were driving me bloody mad. I'm sure you’ve noticed the bridge I built last for ya last night and I want you to know that just because I've helped you out this one, I won't always be bailing you out like this. You’re about to start high school, James, and you need to learn responsibility. I’ll always want to help you with projects or help you figure school work out but I can’t be putting in more effort than you mate. This is the one and only time I will ever do one of your assignments by myself and the only reason I did build this damn bridge was because I couldn’t bear the thought of you failing a project. That and your mom would absolutely murder the both of us for letting that happen,” Harry said, earning a laugh from James during the last part of his lecture.

“Thank you dad and I’ve learned my lesson. Assignments are important and waiting until the last minute won’t do anything but bring you anxiety,” James replied.

“You're telling me,” Harry mumbled. “You should head to your bus stop, bus will be here any minute,” He said.

James nodded and leaned over slightly to grab the bridge. He gave his dad a hug and thanked him again before making his way to the front entrance to grab his backpack and put on his shoes.

“Oh and James?” Harry called out as his son paused in the doorway. “That bridge should be able to hold at least 22 books, better come back home with a perfect grade,” He said

“Only 22? I feel like you built it to be stronger than that, how about 27?” James suggested, earning a cheeky smile from his father.

They exchanged goodbyes one last time before James left.

“That bloody damn pasta bridge,” Harry shook his head once the door closed behind his son.

[astrovian]

Richard Armitage interview on BBC Radio Northampton for Uncle Vanya (26/10/20)

Full transcript under cut

So he’s won awards for his role as Lucas in Spooks, as the dwarf prince Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit, and earlier this year he had us on the edge of our seats as the lead role in the brilliant Netflix series The Stranger. I love The Stranger. Did you see it? I thought it was absolutely brilliant. He’s brilliant in everything he does, I love Richard Armitage. Such a nice guy as well. Well with the pandemic interrupting it’s sold out West End run, Richard is part of an all-star cast bringing Chekov’s iconic play Uncle Vanya to our cinemas and homes as part of a brand new production. Ahead of today’s show I spoke to Richard about the play, and a bit about what it’s like to be a stage actor in Covid Britain.

---

How you doing?

Very well, thank you. This is an absolute honour to speak to you. Congratulations on a wonderful production.

Thanks! Did you see it?

I did! I did! Um-

Amazing.

-if I describe my morning to you, I woke up with a slight whisky hangover pondering my place in the world, and the first thing I did was open my laptop and watch Uncle Vanya, and *laugh* I have to say it was quite-

Oh, how was Vanya on a hangover? That’s probably like most of the characters in the play have a hangover, don’t they?

*Laugh* Well this is the thing – I found myself thinking ‘this is quite life-affirming’, because I was reflecting how human experience hasn’t really changed that much since 1897, and I just wondered as an actor whether Chekov’s understanding of human feelings – it must appeal to you, hugely.

I think that’s why actors go to Chekov, and actually he wrote so few plays compared to other playwrights that what he did do was really define how we approach character. Really, I mean he worked with Stanislavski, it’s the root of, of Western theatre and, and how we construct characters because he’s focused on the lived experience, rather than the plot so much. So most people kind of say “what’s Chekov about?”, and it’s really hard to describe what it’s about. But it’s about human beings and how they – how they bounce off each other and how they attract and how they repel.

Is it completely mad for me to say that, that watching it, it was my first introduction to the play and my first introduction to Chekov, I, I found myself thinking ‘well, this is almost like Big Brother’. It’s like watching a group of people relate in various ways in a claustrophobic lockdown, getting on each other’s nerves, and digging into old wounds, and then I found myself thinking this is, this is so timely for the, the Covid world we’re living in. Did that strike you?

It’s – uh, I, I guess until we started to experience what lockdown was like, suddenly again the play took on a relevance. I mean the last week of performing, when the, the sort of talk of the virus was, was emerging y’know in, in our world, and y’know I’d been speaking these lines for ten weeks as the doctor talking about a pandemic, and he’s turned to drink and he can’t deal with the trauma of losing patients, and suddenly the relevance was, was very high. But also in lockdown, I suddenly realised ‘now I understand what these characters have been going through’. So the – the chance to come back and, and sort of bring all of that experience into y’know, the re-staging of the play film was, y’know, it was really special to be able to do that.

It was really moving at the beginning, because you see your fabulous co-cast members returning to the theatre in face masks, and it was quite easy to find yourself a bit choked. What it a very emotional reunion?

It was because I was not able to be there. *Laugh* ‘Cause I’d just flown in from New York like with, with literally hours to spare before I had to lockdown for two weeks quarantine. So I couldn’t do that, I – I had to join a read-through on a computer via. a Zoom call, so I felt like I was being held back away from my friends and fellow actors. Which was useful for the doctor, ‘cause when he comes back into that house, that’s sort of what’s been happening to him. But every moment there was something to hang on to in terms of the emotions and, and what we’ve all been through.

The – the dialogue is so brilliantly natural, especially from a, a newbie to this world. And I, I think you describe yourself at the beginning, as Dr. Astrov, as feeling a bit wonky-

Yeah.

-and then we hear Toby Jones’ Uncle Vanya complaining about various people wanging on, and-

*Laugh*

-it’s brilliant, it’s moments that make you giggle, and I just wondered how important you think these linguistic touches are to help the drama engage a new audience?

Well it’s always gonna be a translation because we’re not performing in the original Russian, and y’know, that depends on which playwright decides to tackle it, and we were so lucky with Conor McPherson, ‘cause there’s a little bit of the Irish kind of glint in his eye that comes through that dialogue um, so these, these little touches make it feel like we’re just – it’s just us, it’s not y’know, characters a hundred years ago in a stuffy drawing room. These are, these are – it’s us y’know. We’re still the same, and we’re still dealing with the same problems, um weirdly within the state of – within the space of three months those same problems seem to be sort of really prominent, and rather than watching people dealing with a pandemic in a collapsing environment and thinking ‘Oh, that was an interesting history lesson’, it feels like ‘Oh, this is now, these are still things that we are having to, having to navigate right now’.

Whilst I’ve – I’ve read that you don’t necessarily identify as purely a, a method actor, you have talked in the past about how deeply you try to embody the characters you play, and I just wondered how difficult it was to come back after the break and once again put on this skin of the frequently despairing Dr. Astrov?

Um, I came back with, *laugh*, with a taste for vodka that I’d-

*laugh*

-I’d maintained from doing the play, um I came back with no haircut, so y’know, I was – I was sort of *laugh*, I hadn’t put him down really to be honest. I’d, I’d thought about him a lot, and during the course of my research I’d found this diary of a doctor who had worked through his life and through various epidemics, and was really at the end of his tether as to what the point of medicine, and uh, I used a lot of his references to, to sort of try to understand what maybe our NHS workers were going through, and still are going through. Y’know, how do you – how do you go home at night after seeing people in such, y’know, such extreme circumstances without a cure. Y’know, that’s something that we find very difficult to get our heads around because there’s always a pill for something, there’s always a remedy. And these Russians were – were dealing with tuberculosis, for which there was no cure, and typhoid and, and having to, to y’know, having to deal with the fact that most of the time they were death sentences, and we – we have lost that, y’know, we – we have quite luxurious existences compared to them. So to, to be living with something which people don’t have answers has, has really shaken us up I think, and that’s contained in the play.

At the end of the production the matriarch, uh, Anna Calder-Marshall’s Nana, blows out the candles that light the stage and it, it felt to me as though she wasn’t only putting the – the play to bed, she was almost putting theatre life to bed in some way until this bleak winter is over. I just wonder how sad it is for you to see the way the arts are suffering in this pandemic.

It is really, really sad, and I – I, y’know, I’ve been able to carry on doing various kinds of work, but I, I know that there are a huge amount of people out there who work in those theatre buildings that only work in theatre, that can’t go back to work right now. But at the same time, I’m – I’m an optimist, and so I look towards Sonya’s speech about work, and we will endure this and we will come back. Y’know, it might be the middle of next summer, who knows, but I think when we’re – we’re all waiting to have those dust cloths pulled off us, y’know. Um, and we will see diamonds in sky and it, it will come back to us. But in the meantime we’ve just gotta find a way to survive this period, and most people that work in the arts do have ways of doing that, because there are periods of time where you find yourself not working and you have to be very resourceful. And I just hope people can hang on and they’ll – they’ll return when we all do.

Richard Armitage, I – I’m not surprised the run was sold out, Uncle Vanya, and my first experience with the play, my first experience with Chekov. It was absolutely brilliant and I loved every minute of it. I’m, I’m going to get my – my wife’s gonna watch it this weekend, and uh – I hope everyone takes the time to experience it, and just thank you so much for being on the program.

Thank you for having me. And just let me say that it’s the 27th of October and thereabouts for various screenings in your cinema, and going to the cinema is not a terrifying experience, I’ve done it. It’s – if you play by the rules and wear a mask, it’s, it’s actually like a little bit of normality.

Perhaps even sneak in a vodka *Laugh*

*Laugh* Absolutely.

Thank you, Richard.

Thank you.

---

Ah, Richard Armitage, such a legend, lovely guy to speak to. And I’d really recommend it, I’d, I’d heard of Uncle Vanya, and of course I’ve heard of Chekov, but forgive me being a bit of a film philistine, it’s not something I would’ve taken the time to investigate. It’s REALLY good. It’s really funny, it’s really fresh, it feels like a – it’s not a history lesson y’know, it feels, as Richard said, like you’re enjoying character speaking to each other now, and all the issues that they raise feel very current and contemporary. I loved it. Um, you can go to unclevanyacinema.com to find out where it’s playing, but it does certainly look like the Odeon Kettering and the Savoy in Corby will be showing it.

[gamerwoo]

Junhui: Oh, Positive (Part One)

Characters: Junhui x female reader

Genre/warnings: vampire/vampire hunter au, kinda angst but not really that angsty tbh, kinda crack thanks to flirty and sassy vampire!jun, lots n lots of cringey flirting

Word count: 2,163

Summary: As a vampire hunter, your job is pretty self-explanatory. But sometimes, the enemy has to become your ally, and that’s exactly what happens when you're ordered to track down Jun. To stop the coven of vampires that’re bringing up the death toll in Tokyo, you have to work with the thing you’re trained to kill -- assuming the two of you don’t kill each other in the process.

a/n: there will be more parts but i’m not sure how many which is why there isn’t a masterlist yet. this is just a lil idea i’ve had for a while sooooo it’s not really top priority so updates will probably be slow. but idk i wanted it out there (and yes i wrote this bc i love vampire!jun from that web series)

Next

“Don’t kill him, just capture him. Bring him back here when you do.”

Those stupid instructions kept repeating in your head. What was the point of capturing a vampire and not killing it? All vampires were bad. They killed humans. That’s why you existed. You were trained to kill them on sight, but now you were being told to show some sort of mercy. What sort of bullshit was that? 

But your boss gave you orders so you would follow them even if you didn’t agree with them.

It had taken a few days to figure out where to find this Jun. There were apparently a few places he hung around, so you were checking those places. It was well into 2am and most of the streets were empty. However, most vampires were known to linger in the alleyways of more crowded places, hoping to lure humans away to feed on them. So you stuck to the shadows, watching and listening carefully for any sign of--

‘Vampire.’

You froze as soon as you sensed it, knowing exactly where it was. You didn’t make it obvious you knew, but you stayed in your spot, slowly moving your head to seem like you were surveying the area. In reality, you knew it was perched on the fire escape above you, ready to pounce down on you.

But you were ready for that.

Just as it leaped down, you rolled out of the way, swiftly and smoothly pulling your knife out of its sheath. You were on your feet and running at the vampire quick enough to catch it off guard. Since you knew where it was, you had time to figure out your plan. So you tackled it to the ground, straddling it and holding your knife to its throat.

And lo and behold, it was just the vampire you were looking for. Jun looked up at you with a smirk, his eyes blood red as he eyed you up and down, licking his lips hungrily.

“Wasn’t expecting my dinner to be so quick on its feet,” he chuckled. “Shouldn’t have been so careless, I guess.”

“Shut up,” you stated boredly as you used your free hand to get the handcuffs from your belt.

“So what now?” he asked, ignoring your order. “Are you gonna kill me or whatever?”

“As much as I would like to,” you sighed as you began cuffing his hands together, “I have to take you somewhere.”

“Ooh, an adventure,” he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows as you managed to get off of him and tug him to his feet. “Just one question, sweetheart--”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Do you really expect some handcuffs to stop me?”

You rolled your eyes before looking at him, “Do you not know anything about vampire hunters?”

He shrugged, “Never been caught by one.”

“Well, those will keep you from running away. Now let’s go.”

You turned to walk away, but, of course, Jun had other ideas.

“Thanks but uh, I think going home with you after the first date is too early for me,” he said, miming tipping his hat to you. “Sorry, but this won’t work out. Please don’t contact me again. Bye!”

You knew vampires were quick. You knew Jun could easily get away and you wouldn’t catch him. You’d have to follow your instincts to find him again, but you knew he’d definitely be hiding pretty well for the rest of the night and probably for a few weeks at minimum. But you also knew how the handcuffs worked while Jun had no idea.

He was only a few feet from you when he shouted out in pain and had dropped to his knees. He was hissing as he stared at his wrists that had felt the painful shock, looking between them like he was trying to figure out a difficult math problem.

“Those’ll shock you if you’re a certain distance away from me,” you explained, “and it’s so painful that you can’t get away. So I suggest you keep up or you’re going to be in a lot of pain.”

“Look, I’m into pain, but this is too much,” Jun huffed with a small pout as you dragged him up off his knees and shoved him to walk in the direction you wanted him to. “Do I at least get a safe word?”

“Shut up,” you groaned.

“That’s a really shitty safe word.”

-

You wondered why you’d spent days trying to track down Jun when he was so obnoxious and annoying. The entire way back to headquarters was awful, containing him trying to flirt with you or make some sort of comment that walked the line between flirting and being a snarky asshole. Honestly, that seemed to be all he was capable of.

“I really wish I wasn’t told to not kill you,” you sighed halfway through.

“Well isn’t that unfortunate,” was all he replied to you with before he carried on with whatever he was saying before -- you weren’t paying attention, you’d learned very quickly to tune him out.

Once you were back at headquarters, you thought maybe Jun would shut up a little bit. You thought maybe being in a place full of top of the line vampire hunters would intimidate him into silence, but he seemed to not be fazed by anything at all. He had something to say to pretty much every person you walked past, and it got to a point where you were pretty positive every hunter in there wanted to kill him. The guy was just so annoying.

You finally reached the boss’s office. You knocked on the door three times as Jun leaned down and whispered, “Is this where I die? Because I’d like the heads up when it finally happens, y’know?”

You knew Jun definitely wouldn’t just take his death lying down. Hell, he probably had something up his sleeve to get out if he had to, he probably wanted to just see where this was going -- and you would be right about that because he figured he had nothing better to do. 

“I wish,” you mumbled as you heard your boss tell you to enter.

Opening the door and walking in, you went straight to the boss’s desk. Jun, however, decided to take his sweet ass time and look around the large room, his head tilting back as he looked all the way up at the ceiling and rolled his head around to look at the other side of the room. But being too far from you caused his cuffs to shock him, and he let out a surprised yelp.

“Are you kidding me?!” he demanded in annoyance.

You just silently snickered at him.

“I’m impressed you found him,” your boss, Jicheol noted as he stood up from his desk and observed Jun.

Hearing that familiar voice, Jun snapped his head down to look at the man behind the desk. His face spread into a smirk as he approached the desk, standing beside you.

“Ji, long time, no see,” he said casually as if they were old friends. “Been a while since you were trying to slaughter me. How’s the wife?”

“Dead,” Jicheol deadpanned.

Jun opened his mouth but nothing came out as he blinked, “Okay, not the reply I was expecting...”

“So what did I have to drag this pain in the ass here for?” you sighed, wanting to get this whole thing done and over with.

Jicheol grabbed his computer monitor with both hands and turned the screen to face you. It was an article about the death toll in Japan going up, and the worst of it seeming to stem from Tokyo. Nobody was able to figure out what it was, but the three of you knew exactly what was causing it.

“As you’re aware, _____, a powerful coven of vampires is ravaging Tokyo and spreading to the rest of Japan,” Jicheol began, looking between you and Jun. “Jun here is, unfortunately, one of the most infamous vampires in Korea for how hard he is to catch, and for how strong he is.”

“Thanks, chief,” Jun grinned.

You already hated where this was going.

“That’s why I want you to go with him to Tokyo--”

“Wait, wait, hold on,” Jun quickly interrupted. “Let’s go back to when you were just complimenting me, yeah? You ruined it with the whole ‘go to another country with this party pooper’ thing.”

Jicheol sighed, folding his hands together in front of him, “_____ is the strongest vampire hunter we have, but all the best in Japan have tried to catch this coven and have come up dead. If we want to stop them, we need the help of a strong vampire, too.”

“And why would I help vampire hunters?” Jun quizzed, raising an eyebrow. “You’ll just kill me when it’s over.”

“Maybe not...” Jicheol shrugged.

“What do you mean ‘maybe not’?” you demanded. 

“He could be useful to us if he chooses to cooperate with us for this. And if he chooses to stay with us, of course he’ll be spared his life, and we’ll provide protection, housing, and means of food.”

“We’re going to protect a vampire?” you clarified. “Jicheol--”

“Yeah, that seems counterproductive for a group of vampire hunters,” Jun agreed.

You rolled your eyes, grumbling, “Can you not interrupt me?”

“Can you get to your point faster then?” he countered.

Instead of speaking on your bickering, Jicheol sighed and continued, “It would be helpful to keep a few vampires on our side to weed out the difficult ones. Look, we could sit here all night and discuss rhymes and reasons but the faster I get the two of you to Tokyo, the faster we can fix this issue.”

“Do I get a negotiation?” Jun asked.

You snorted, glancing down at his handcuffed wrists before looking back at him, “I really don’t think you’re in a position for negotiating, bud.”

But instead, Jicheol replied with, “What kind of negotiation?”

Jun flashed a snarky grin your way before taking a step forward and clearing his throat, “I want protection for my brothers, too. That’s first and foremost.”

“How many?” Jicheol questioned, raising his eyebrows to show he was interested.

“Four.”

“Would they be willing to help?”

“...I can talk to them.”

Jicheol nodded, “Continue.”

“I want cool clothes like sweet cheeks over here,” Jun said, nodding his head toward you, “and I want a really nice umbrella so I can go outside during the day. And I want--”

“We can offer your friends protection,” Jicheol stated.

Jun nodded, stepping back, “Cool, thank you, sir.”

You looked incredulously between the two men, “So this is seriously happening?!”

“We’ll prepare the flight for tomorrow night,” Jicheol explained, essentially ignoring your comment, “so that gives Jun time to talk with his friends. _____, I would like if you accompanied him to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.”

You wanted to tell Jicheol he was out of his goddamn mind if he thought sending you alone into five vampires was a reasonable idea, but the look on your face said it all. He simply said he knew you could handle it before carrying on.

“We’ll handle packing and such. We’ll equip you with everything you’ll need and everything that’ll help you. Please report back here tomorrow at midnight.”

“What do I do with him until tomorrow night?” you wondered.

“Take him with you,” Jicheol replied as if the answer was obvious.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, “You-- Y-you want me to babysit a handcuffed vampire all day?”

Jicheol cocked his head, “Do you think you can’t handle it?”

“Of course I can!” you insisted immediately.

“Then what’s the issue, _____?”

You really wanted to snap at Jicheol and tell him to go fuck himself, but instead you just grumbled and turned sharply on your heels to leave. Jun giggled at your angry expression and began to follow after you.

“Goodbye, Jicheol!” he sang over his shoulder. “See ya later!”

“You two have fun,” Jicheol smirked playfully.

Jun sighed as he fell in step beside you, seeming more amused than ever now, “Oh, I’m positive we will. Isn’t that right, _____?”

You frowned, refusing to look at him, “Eat a dick.”

As the door closed behind you and the two of you walked down the hallway, Jun tisked, “I would watch your attitude around me or I just might end up eating you, sunshine.”

“I’d like to see you try, bloodsucker,” you shot back, glaring at him now. “I can kill you just as easy.”

He chuckled shaking his head as his voice dropped lower, “That’s not the kind of eating I meant.”

You cursed yourself for blushing -- and Jun definitely noticed because he was giggling about it -- and cursed Jicheol for getting you into this mess. But the sooner everything was over with, the sooner you didn’t have to deal with Junhui.

Tomorrow night really could not come faster.

[fizzingwizard]

Alright and now for episode 23! Which was a lot more interesting. Still lacking in pertinent ways but at least it got some stuff moving, and there were a few small but very nice character moments.

I took a LOT of Taichi spam this week you guys. The animation was slightly better than normal and my boy was just so good.

At parkour. He’s good at parkour.

More below!

We pick up where we left off last week, with Devimon arriving in his true form and picking a fight over Poyomon. He’s so threatened by a wad of jelly.

He does seem a bit weird though. More on that later.

The quintessential Taichi picture.

And just a cute one.

So okay, Devimon makes mincemeat of MetalGreymon and WereGarurumon. Like he wipes the floor with them. Even though they should be a level above him. I was like what’s going on. Clearly dark powers are giving him extra strength, but this still seemed like too much...

Yamato yells for Takeru to go hide. Taichi then yells for Yamato to go hide xD However Devimon has no trouble destroying all their possible hiding spots and attacking them.

Takeru worries about his brother :’<

Taichi quickly tries to think of a strategy but yup “Hide” is all he can come up with.

They communicate via digivice and Yamato has something of a better strategy but... it still just amounts to hiding.

Meanwhile their partners continue to get their butts kicked.

MetalGreymon: Hey watch it I just got this painted!

WereGaurumon: My nails! I just had them done!

Taichi: Would you two stop fussing, you’re so vain!

Taichi: We’ve got more important things to worry about! Like my hair!

Meanwhile in the real world... the four are together and Koushirou updates Jou and Mimi on the situation, which boils down to Not Good. The tank ships are still on a collision course. On top of that, Koushirou notices that the data being absorbed by Calmaramon’s... idk what to call it, data collection tower? thing, is being sent directly to the digital world. He guesses it’s going to be used to power the creature whose name I forgot they fought before.

This guy.

Koushirou also guesses this probably means Taichi and Yamato are in some deep shit rn.

Taichi is pretty smart too... he’s able to tell that Devimon is able to manipulate the dark mists and that’s how he’s able to find their hiding spots and attack them so easily.

Here’s the evil crystal that I would have thought was from Sailor Moon. Ahhh evil is so beautiful. And purple. Hmmm, the Crest of Knowledge is also purple, and absorption of data is converted to power.... GUYS KOUSHIROU’S GOING TO GO DARK.

Kidding, kidding. I would totally watch it though.

So the others go to fight Calmaramon and destroy the tower to help Taichi and Yamato. But, uh, they didn’t count on Calamaramon’s tentaclesx ;D

Kabuterimon makes the classic amateur mistake of DRAMATICALLY ANNOUNCING HIMSELF when he swerves in to rescue the girls...

... and he gets his just desserts. :P

Meanwhile Taichi and Yamato... are still losing. So who steps up to the plate but...

Takeru and Poyomon! Lol!

No seriously, this scene SCREAMED of the one in 99 where Hikari sacrifices herself to protect Yamato and Sora. I was really expecting Takeru to do the same thing here. “Leave my brother alone! Take me instead!”

But, I guess, since he’s a boy, he’s less self-sacrificial and more just... irrationally strong...

His conviction results in evolution!

Poyomon becomes Tokomon! THANK GOODNESS. I could not handle another “poyo, poyo!”

Devimon takes one look at this pink-cheeked thing and FREEEEEEAKS OUUUUUT.

“You remind me... of someone I once knew... you have... the same eyes... GRRRRRRRRR!!!!”

he didn’t say that but he totally should have lol. Now someone please make an edit of Angemon where he takes off his helmet and he has Tokomon eyes underneath x’D

Data readings on Koushirou’s computer start going haywire! The data is being sent somewhere fast!

I was expecting some kind of power up but I wasn’t expecting full on evolution. Because yup. That’s what goes down. Devimon evolves.

And here’s where he gets weird. His evolution seems painful. Unnatural. He doesn’t seem exactly pleased with it, to be frank. He’s really agitated by Tokomon but he doesn’t do much in the way of monologuing and it’s not even clear that the evolution is by his own design. It just kind of seems to happen. Then, once he does evolve, he’s much less talkative. This is generally not the sign of sanity or even sentience. It’s like Devimon is imprisoned by his evolution, which goes on a rampage.

Neodevimon. Actually, original Devimon is scarier but :P

Lol and then Tokomon gets blown out of Takeru’s arms and goes for a tumble while Takeru runs frantically after him xD Great moment.

Rollin rollin rollin, though the streams are swollen...

NeoDevimon is very powerful but y’know... WereGarurumon just STOOD there. This... this is totally his fault that he gets hurt here x’D

Taichi is displeased with this development, and yet, still cute in his displeasure.

Finally Koushirou manages to get through! Taichi is too preoccupied to jump for joy or anything but you can see that he’s excited. “Koushirouuuuu please save us!!!” basically that’s what’s going on

However he’s right away blown over and his digivice scatters and the signal drops...

Yamato is very Stressed.

However, contact with Koushirou has rejuvenated Taichi.

LIKE THE PHOENIX HE RISES FROM THE ASHES

Taichi: “FUCK THIS SHIIIIIIIIIT!”

His renewed conviction becomes power. Yeah, that’s a thing, we know.

Meanwhile, in the human world, the others have worked out that Taichi and Yamato are fighting and need help, and they combine the powers of their own passionate hearts in a classic shonen anime trope.

Koushirou gets a special moment all to himself! It’s really fast but still, the episode makes a point of focusing on Koushirou’s desire to connect with his friends and help them. I choose to believe this a nod to Koushirou’s significant role in the show and a way of saying “Sorry they’re not all together right now but they will be soon and characters other than Taichi and Yamato will get to do cool things in the not so distant future!”

Their partners are then able to defeat Calmaramon and destroy the data collection tower.

BOOM, baby.

Meanwhile our heroes who never sleep manage to defeat Devimon. Which, I figured, meant he’d retreat for now, but...

He freaking dies! Yup, that’s right! Disintegrates!! I was like what the heck?? This was a Boss Battle???? It had none of the signs of being a boss battle other than the boss being present and it wasn’t even that hard...

However, it’s not over till it’s over...

... Tokomon looks on NeoDevimon’s death kind of creepily. Like, the episode makes a point of showing us Tokomon’s reaction, not just the group’s. So... I feel like this is gonna be relevant. I COULD BE WRONG. But I just personally wouldn’t stick this bit in without it meaning something. But that something could be pretty much anything so we still don’t know much.

The sailors aboard the tankers whose control systems are restored at the last second are pretty darn relieved anyway.

This was my favorite moment in epiosde, Mimi flinging herself over Koushirou and knocking Jou out of the way to hug Sora in her enthusiasm over their victory xD awww Mimi

Yamato wants to know what’s with Taichi. Taichi’s like, “The others helped us from afar, I just know it...” AND THAT’S WHY HE’S BEST BOY.

Yamato gives Takeru an adorable pat on the head and tells him good job. Only thing that could have made this moment cuter would have been if he also patted Tokomon’s head. BECAUSE HELLO. KID JUST EVOLVED. SAY HI AND TELL HIM YOUR NAMES AT LEAST.

But then! Darknightmon uses the dark crystal thingy and...!

Le gasp! NeoDevimon’s corpse emerges from the ground...

Taichi has a flashback to another time they thought they won only for their defeated opponent to be infused with dark energy and resurrect...

... uh I forgot this guy’s name too >_>

Taichi: “Wow I never saw this coming!”

Well, I did. :P Due to being over ten years old...

We end with NeoDevimon’s mask cracking off!

Creepy!

Final thoughts... it now kind of looks like Darknightmon is the one pulling Devimon’s strings rather than the other way around. But my guess is that’s not the case. It could also be that Devimon told Darknightmon to do this - after all, Devimon used the stone’s power to evolve Darknightmon before, and this is just the reverse of that. Or it could be they are equals and in cahoots with each other. I definitely think there’s an even greater, bigger Bad out there that they either work for or are afraid of etc something like that, I think we probably all feel sure of that at least. But Devimon in this episode really surprised me in the ways he seems to lack agency. He seemed like a pawn of evil rather than the chessmaster himself.

So next week! Looks lit!

Devimon’s new evolution? or power up? whatever is creepier than NeoDevimon so that’s a relief.

BUT THIS IS EVEN CREEPIER HOLY CRAP TAICHI! Get some sleep, your eyes are all red! (And he’s injured. His hand is where he got hurt two weeks ago fighting Splashmon right? He got hit with miasma. I wonder if this is the same wound and if it’s somehow controlling him due to the dark energy getting into his system... But everyone’s more or less been hit with the dark energy at this point so maybe not. Anyway, CREEPY EYES, CREEPY CREEPY EYES.)

Also Yamato DIES. He DIES y’all. *funeral march plays* Hmm, Tokomon looks hungry...

Then we got this bit which in case you can’t tell is Takeru being awesome. So I figured, ahh, THIS is the boss battle, and we’re gonna see Angemon again already... weird as that sounds :P

HOW-E-VER

We also get this???? Taichi silhouetted against a brilliant light????? What does it mean? I mean we know Takeru has healing powers so I’m fully expecting that to happen but uhh are we also going to canonize Taichi next week? lol. Saint Taichi. I love him the best but I will be a bit miffed if next week IS the big boss battle and Takeru’s role is “power up Taichi so he can kill it” and that’s it... But I guess we’ll have to see.

It does rather look like they saved the animation budget for next week, the preview was nuts x’D Can’t wait.

[slut-kiss-g1rl]

geostorm <3

FADE IN:

INT. COURTROOM

GERARD BUTLER is at a COURT HEARING... in the FUTURE!

GERARD BUTLER

It is the future. Natural disasters have become alarmingly commonplace. Hurricanes, mudslides, floods, you name it. The level of destruction is catastrophic.

RICHARD SCHIFF

To be clear, this is the FUTURE you’re talking about?

GERARD BUTLER

The nations of the world have finally decided to take action. So, pooling our resources, we’ve invested heavily in environmental research and clean energy, and cracked down heavily on industrial emissions standards-

(laughs and laughs and laughs)

Just kidding! We’ve built a giant orbital platform that shoots the bad weather with space missiles and space lasers, of course.

RICHARD SCHIFF

So you’re the genius who built the space station. But instead of just making you the chief engineer, which would make sense, we made you director of the whole multi-national program, despite the fact that you have no administrative skills or political experience and mostly get what you want by yelling at people and punching them in the face?

GERARD BUTLER

That’s correct, you useless government fucks. You can all lick my sweaty gonads.

(moons everybody)

RICHARD SCHIFF

You’re fired and we’re giving your job to your little brother Jim Sturgess. At least he can do a passable American accent.

GERARD BUTLER

Och, ye dinnae hae ta be a deck abote et!

INT. SPACE STATION

Engineer RICHARD REGAN PAUL is aboard the WEATHER STATION when he notices that somebody has stuck a SMARTPHONE on an important CIRCUITBOARD.

RICHARD REGAN PAUL

Oh crap, somebody’s sabotaging this hundred-trillion-dollar space program using consumer electronics! I better draw everybody’s attention to this and alert my superiors!

(falls down and hits head very hard)

Duhhhh I mean I should hide this evidence and tell nobody yessss.

He stashes the EVIDENCE, but shortly afterwards the CORRIDOR he’s walking through is SEALED and all the WALL PANELS START BLASTING OFF!

RICHARD REGAN PAUL

What the fuck? Why would we design them to be able to do that? What possible situation could arise in a space station when we’d need to get rid of the WALLS in a hurry? This makes no-

(spaced)

The SPACE STATION then proceeds to turn a bunch of VILLAGERS in AFGHANISTAN into SNOWMEN.

INT. WHITE HOUSE

JIM STURGESS is having a meeting with the movie’s entire supply of Oscar-nominated actors.

JIM STURGESS

So yeah, we kind of murdered a bunch of innocent people with a giant ice ray like Mr. Freeze, oops. We need to send up an international team of brilliant engineers to the space station to investigate what went wrong, despite the fact that there’s already an international team of brilliant engineers ON the space station.

ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE ANDY GARCIA

No way, Jim. As the president, I can’t have foreigners touch this station which has been funded and staffed predominately by foreigners! We’ll send up Americans.

ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE ED HARRIS

ONE American. I mean if we’re going to half-ass this thing, let’s half-ass it, y’know?

ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE MARE WINNINGHAM

I am also in this scene for some reason.

JIM STURGESS

Ugh fine, let’s send up Gerard. It’ll take some doing though, he and I haven’t really gotten along in the vague amount of time since you gave me his job. Seriously, the timeline is super nebulous, it could have been anything between a week and five years.

ED HARRIS

I have faith you can convince him, Jim. As your father figure and mentor, you know I support you in everything, and if you ever need somebody you can implicitly trust-

JIM STURGESS

We get it, you’re the villain, whoop-de-doo.

(leaves)

EXT. LOSER SHACK

JIM goes out to see GERARD, who is hanging with his DAUGHTER.

JIM STURGESS

Hey bro, the space laser’s been acting up. Think you could pop up to space real quick and fix it? Thanks.

GERARD’S DAUGHTER

Dad, no! You can’t go back to space! It’s too dangerous! Don’t abandon me like this!

GERARD BUTLER

OH GOD NOT THIS FUCKING TROPE. Yeah, parents should never do work that takes them away from their families for any amount of time or puts themselves at risk, no matter how important it is. I’m a shitty father because I’m agreeing to go save hundreds of millions of lives, possibly including yours. Shut the fuck up, you little turd.

GERARD immediately storms off and goes to SPACE.

EXT. HONG KONG

Suddenly the movie remembers the CHINESE BOX OFFICE and cuts to HONG KONG, where DANIEL WU is heading home with some SHOPPING.

DANIEL WU

(looks around)

Aw fuck. A famous capital city in a disaster movie? This isn’t gonna end well.

Sure enough he drops some EGGS on the ground and they immediately begin to FRY!

DANIEL WU

Holy shit the ground is apparently as hot as a stovetop! You’d think this is something the people in the street would have noticed, but uh, I guess all our shoes are made entirely of thermally nonconductive silica fibreglass?

(jumps in car, speeds off)

And our tires too, don’t forget our tires!

DANIEL drives through the streets as the pavement CRACKS and FIRE erupts out of the SUPERHEATED PAVEMENT!

DANIEL WU

Damn, the space station must have done that! Not that we ever explain how geothermal energy could possibly be controlled by space lasers!

INT. SPACE STATION

GERARD arrives aboard the SPACE STATION to meet the team of ENGINEERS.

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Welcome, Gerard! I am an asshole. A smug, unlikeable asshole. The exact kind of jerk you’d think would turn out to be the saboteur. Which is kind of awkward, because I DO turn out to be the saboteur.

AMR WAKED

It’s okay, I’ll cover for you by red herringing as hard as humanly possible in every scene I’m in.

(lurks sinisterly)

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

Meanwhile I’m the station’s commander. I exist to be your sort-of love interest with whom you never get beyond meaningful eye contact, and to make you seem hypercompetent by standing around uselessly while you do everything important.

GERARD BUTLER

Okay then, now that everybody’s in position let’s get this 2012-but-with-weather/Gravity-except-stupid-and-with-more-explosions hybrid on the road! Bring on the barrage of gratuitous global annihilation!

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

Actually there’s nowhere near as much of that kind of thing as the trailers promised. But if you like scenes where someone stares at tiny gobbledegook on a computer screen and explains what plot points it discloses, we’ve got a buttload of that!

GERARD BUTLER

(puppy dog eyes)

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

Oh fine, here’s one to tide you over.

EXT. TOKYO

Giant hail in Tokyo!

INT. SPACE STATION

GERARD BUTLER

Ta! Now let’s look at that satellite that fried Hong Kong.

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Uh, oops, unfortunately that malfunctioning satellite got smashed beyond usefulness because the hydraulic arm which was holding it malfunctioned!

GERARD BUTLER

Fine then, let’s look at the surveillance footage from when Richard Regan Paul got spaced.

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Um well we can’t see the footage of that wall malfunction because the footage has also malfunctioned.

GERARD BUTLER

Wait though, there’s still a useable recording in a leftover bit of wall that got stuck in a solar array panel! Let’s go for a spacewalk and get it.

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Sure thing WHUH OH while you’re trying to retrieve that malfunctioning bit of wall, your space suit has malfunctioned!

GERARD BUTLER

(bouncing off every part of the space station)

HEY YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M STARTING TO THINK THAT MAAAAYBE THERE’S JUST A SMIDGE OF SABOTAGE GOING ON.

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Damnit! Turns out that by the time you’re committing sabotage to cover up your sabotage to cover up your sabotage to cover up your sabotage, it starts to get kinda obvious what you’re doing.

(pause)

Nnnnnot that I have anything to do with that. Right, Amr?

AMR WAKED

(hovers creepily at the edge of frame)

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Exactly.

GERARD retrieves the DATA from the WALL FRAGMENT, but finds that he can’t ACCESS IT.

GERARD BUTLER

Oh crap, only a high-level government official could have restricted the data like this! That means that SOMEBODY extremely high-ranking is behind all this, but we don’t know who!

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

It’s Ed Harris. Everybody has figured this out already.

GERARD BUTLER

I have to tell Jim about this. But they might have bugged our comms, and my message may be intercepted by whoever the traitor is.

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

It is quite obviously Ed Harris.

GERARD BUTLER

I better use a code.

(calls Jim)

Hey there, Jim! Just thought I’d stop in the middle of this deadly crisis to randomly reminisce. SOMEtimes I think about that old WHITE porch we used to have at our HOUSE, where our pathetic inbred ASSHOLE of a father used to get FUCKED up on tequila and whale on US with a wrench. Glad that’s all OVER.

JIM STURGESS

A high-ranking government traitor? Why that could only be-

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

ED HARRIS, IT’S ED HARRIS YOU IDIOTS, THERE'S NO OTHER REASON FOR HIS CHARACTER TO EXIST

JIM STURGESS

-the president! America is soon scheduled to hand control of the space station over to an international committee. The president must be causing these disasters in order to retain control!

GERARD BUTLER

Right. Because after a fuckup of this magnitude, obviously the last thing people will want to do is remove the administrators responsible for killing everybody.

JIM STURGESS

And he’s not gonna stop with these penny-ante special effect showcases, either! He’s trying to chain a bunch of them together and bring on a geostorm!

GERARD BUTLER

You mean the tiny, ugly-ass sports compact from Isuzu?

JIM STURGESS

Not a Geo Storm, a GEOSTORM! A made-up, probably impossible meteorological phenomenon where it storms everywhere on the planet at once! According to our computers, this precise sequence of weather disasters - including the ones which the space station hasn’t caused yet - will lead to a geostorm in EXACTLY the nice, round timeframe of ninety minutes!!

GERARD BUTLER

Fuck! Fine then, let’s do an emergency shutdown of the station so it can’t frag the planet. This potentially apocalyptic orbital weapons platform DOES have an emergency off switch, right?

JIM STURGESS

Well, yes... but, ha ha, it turns out it can only be activated using the president’s biometrics. So if the most dangerous thing ever made malfunctions, it can only be stopped if you can get the president into the right specific room quickly enough.

(shrugs awkwardly)

Fortunately, I have been provided with a convenient secret service girlfriend who can grab the president for us!

ABBIE CORNISH

Okay then, I’ll-

JIM STURGESS

Plot devices don’t speak, honey.

ABBIE CORNISH

Then why does this movie have any dialogue at all?

INT. DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION

JIM and ABBIE go to find PRESIDENT ANDY at the DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION in ORLANDO. But first they run into ED HARRIS.

JIM STURGESS

Ed, thank god I ran into somebody I can trust! We need to grab the president so we can shut down this Bond villain-esque weather scheme.

ED HARRIS

Uh, okay. I have the president right here in this gun. Stand still so that I might fire him at you.

JIM STURGESS

Wha - YOU?! EVIL?!? DWAAAHHH?!?!?

ED HARRIS

Don’t patronize me. Anyway, part of my plan is to set off a giant lightning storm here and kill everybody in line of succession ahead of me, so I become president!

JIM STURGESS

Are you fucking kidding me? We’ve gone to the trouble of pointing out it’s an election year! Do you honestly expect an administration that ran an environmental program so badly that it KILLED THEM ALL to get reelected?

JIM and ABBIE grab ANDY and run for it! Then a fuckton of LIGHTNING starts DESTROYING THE DNC!

BYSTANDER

Man, those Russian hackers have really stepped up their game.

(incinerated)

ABBIE CORNISH

Quickly, we can get away using this SELF-DRIVING cab we just commandeered! Since I’m driving it there might seem to be no reason for us to point out that it’s a SELF-DRIVING cab, so I guess now the audience has already figured out we’re shortly going to be pulling some trick where it SELF-DRIVES. We’ll still act like we’re being clever, though.

ED HARRIS

Chase that cab, my suicidally dedicated minions! Meanwhile I will teleport to the road ahead of them, so I can set up a rocket launcher ambush! Nothing screams “accidental death” like getting blown up by a fucking rocket launcher. FIRE!

MINION

Uh, you sure you don’t want to wait until we can see who’s driving? Disregarding any possible self-driving tricks, cabs are pretty interchangeable and that could in fact be entirely the wrong car-

ED HARRIS

I SAID FIRE!

They BLOW UP THE CAB! But then ANDY appears and shoves a GUN in ED’S FACE.

ANDY GARCIA

That’s right, we sent the empty cab driving towards you at sixty miles an hour! And now here we are, having caught up to it on foot within the next twenty seconds. My legs are KILLING ME.

ED HARRIS

Come on Andy, you should still let the geostorm happen! My theory is that the massive catastrophe which is going to demolish the face of the planet will handily attack only our political enemies and we’ll be fine!

ANDY GARCIA

Goddamn, how is it that each new layer of your motivations is even dumber than the last?

EXT. EVERYWHERE

Meanwhile DIRECTOR DEAN DEVLIN looks under the COUCH and finally finds the movie’s MISSING DISASTER EFFECTS, and they all start happening at once! Ice storms in Rio! Fire storms in Moscow! Tsunamis in the desert!

GERARD BUTLER

Opposite weather, is it? In that case I’m guessing London is currently having a pleasant sunny day HEY-OOOHHH!

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

But we’re not doing so great here in space either. Somebody’s set off our self-destruct system, and the station’s gonna explode in [amount of time left in which the geostorm can still be averted + just enough time for a thrilling escape]!

GERARD BUTLER

Wait a minute, according some kind of plot mumbo jumbo, the only one who could have started the self-destruct protocol is... ROBERT! You little traitor, you’re working for Ed!

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Okay okay, you’ve got me, but SURPRISE I had a gun strapped to the underside of this desk and now you haven’t got me at all, HA!

GERARD BUTLER

What was your plan if I’d confronted you in literally any other room?

ROBERT SHEEHAN

Clearly I must have guns strapped underneath every surface in the entire space station.

(opens fire)

Aw yeah, no better strategy for staying alive than shooting bullets in a room which is separated from the vacuum of space by a single pane of-

ROBERT accidentally SPACES HIMSELF! The movie does not reveal whether, in his last moments of consciousness, RICHARD’S FROZEN, ORBITING CORPSE happens to collide FOOT-FIRST with ROBERT’S CROTCH, so one is forced to assume that it DOES.

INT. SPACE STATION STOPPING ROOM

Back on EARTH, ANDY arrives in the ROOM he has to be in so that he can turn off the SPACE STATION.

ANDY GARCIA

All right, we did it! I just used my biometrics to activate the thing, so now the world is saved! Right?

JIM STURGESS

Actually Gerard still has to get to another specific room on the station itself and press a big “YES” button for it to actually work.

ANDY GARCIA

OF COURSE. What was I thinking, we can’t let this emergency shutdown be activated merely by having the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED FUCKING STATES TURN IT ON WITH HIS OWN SPECIAL BODY SCAN. No, we need the extra, mega-secure step of having some engineer click “confirm”!

JIM STURGESS

Look, we wanted to do the president kidnapping scene but still give Gerard a big action climax, this was the only way.

In SPACE, GERARD and ALEXANDRA make it to the SPECIAL ROOM, shut down the SPACE STATION and SAVE THE WORLD!

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

Phew, and with one second left to go! That’s right, because we turned off the weather machine when we did all the bad weather instantly cleared up; but if it had gone on for even one more second it would have become a global superstorm which would have wiped out most of humanity. What a sensible premise!

GERARD BUTLER

Unfortunately while we were able to get everybody else off the station, there’s no time left for you and I to escape. But I knew this when I stayed behind. I may not have been a good father, but I hope my daughter can at least appreciate the sacrifice I made by dying in space in order to save-

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

Are you seriously copying Bruce Willis’s death from Armageddon?

GERARD BUTLER

Oh FUCK you’re right. Screw it, let’s just jump in a spare satellite and fly to safety then.

ALEXANDRA MARIA LARA

Hooray! I’m not even gonna ask why a weather satellite has room inside it for passengers!

They HOP ABOARD the SPACE EX MACHINA and fly away!

EXT. LOSER SHACK

Months later, GERARD, JIM and GERARD’S ANNOYING DAUGHTER are all hanging out and fishing.

GERARD BUTLER

Neat, our family’s come un-estranged! What a happy ending. Why if we keep the focus on stuff like this, and the fact that in Brazil the dog didn’t die, we can ignore the fact that millions of people just got horribly murdered!

JIM STURGESS

And the rebuilt space station is now in international hands as intended, and they’re gonna make sure none of this can ever-

GERARD BUTLER

Wait, what the fuck? They’re doing the space station again? After the last one turned out to be a city-destroying death ray which could be commandeered by a single nerd with a smartphone? That’s the least plausible ending this movie could have possibly had!

JIM STURGESS

Uh huh. Yeah, I’m sure in real life politicians the world over would instead start seriously committing themselves to environmental policy. Hmmm?

GERARD BUTLER

...Okay yeah this way’s more realistic.

---------------

>:(

[capricornus-rex]

The Haunt of Redemption (7)

Sequel to: A Path I Can’t Follow

Chapter 7: What The Heart Beckons | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: It has been months since your last encounter with Cal, at that time he was a fledgling Inquisitor. In an ironic twist of fate, you cross paths and blades with him once again, and he’s keen on turning you into an Inquisitor as well—unless you bring him back to the light first.

Tags: Dark Side! Cal Kestis, Inquisitor! Cal Kestis, Redemption Arc! Cal Kestis

Also posted in AO3

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 | Previous: Chapter 6 | Next: Chapter 8 | Masterlist

7 of ?

You apologize to Obi-Wan profusely for giving him this responsibility.

“Oh come now, there’s no need for apologies,” he smiled. “I believe there is a reason for all of this.”

“What is?”

“Everything happening right now, and I truly believe that there’s an endgame. Though, I can’t say for sure if it will benefit the good or the bad.”

“Well, the only way to find out is to see how it all plays until the very end. What I’m in is just another part of the game,”

“Indeed.”

He joined you outside his abode and taught you a shorter way to your ship, it was a path that leads you away from the places where the Tusken Raiders are more likely to be found.

“Just keep low by the rocks,” Obi-Wan added.

“Got it. Thank you, Master Kenobi,” you said as you slung your bag and headed downhill.

“Oh, and [y/n]?” his call stopped your in your tracks, you look back and find him smiling. “May the Force be with you.”

A load from your chest dissolved, your heart felt light after hearing those words.

“May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi.” You bid back and headed out this time for sure.

You were thankful that he gave you directions to a shortcut, which was significantly shorter in terms of travel time and easier to traverse on. There were no animals that you could tame and ride like the Varans; you could only see those large, brown beasts that move slower than a Slyyyg’s pace and gave up on searching possible mounts to make the trip faster.

Halfway in, you uncapped a bottle and brought its nozzle to your mouth—careful not to spill, you gulped every cold drop that frostbit the walls of your throat. You had to conserve the water while you’re still out in the open. Along the way, the tense heat has finally subsided—but it only meant that it’s getting dark soon. Gold and indigo colors mingled in the sky over the horizon, the twin suns changed from a harsh, blinding white-yellow light, it dimmed down to a soft orange hue.

“It’s beautiful, BD,” you sighed.

“Woooo!”

“Shame he’s not here to see it. He always liked sunsets. I wonder if he still does,”

The ridge where the Mantis sat by was close. Cere could see you from below, she’s sitting by the open entry ramp with Merrin and Greez waiting outside the ship. From where you stand, you slid down the slope of sand and jumped down at the end with the sand cushioning the impact of your landing.

“Gods, [y/n], what happened to you?!” Merrin exclaimed, the first thing she noticed was the purple patch on your face.

“I ran into some… locals. I don’t think they like visitors,” you blurted.

“I’ll go get some ice for that,” the Nightsister rushed into the ship and you could hear the clattering of the cabinet doors.

“Well, how did it go?” Cere asked.

“It went actually better than I hoped for. I’ll tell you on the way,” you shifted to Greez. “Can the ship make another jump?”

“Right, of course! Let me just fire the old girl up!” he dryly chuckled and then sprinkled in some extra grumbling as he waddled into the ship.

“He was more eccentric than I hoped,” you snickered as you and Cere entered the ship together.

You hopped right into your seat in the ship and typed another string of coordinates into the computer. From your periphery, you saw Greez peeking over your shoulder as a small image of the planet flashes on the screen.

“Where… are you taking us this time?”

“Alyon, it’s a remote planet. Tropical and temperate. You’d love it there, Greez!”

“Oh sure, I love overworking my sweat glands with severely humid tropical temperature!”

You shot him your smug face, “Punch it then.”

The Mantis appeared in the sky, Obi-Wan watched the ship fly away out of the atmosphere until it was nothing but a silver speck in the clouds. He gave out a resigned sigh, turned to the other side of Tatooine’s horizon, something about that small, white dome sitting in the middle of nowhere made him smile. He retreated into his cottage as the suns begin to sink.

Thankfully, Tatooine and Alyon are in the same system, although there was a stretch of distance between them; Greez said not to worry as the Mantis could cover the distance without overworking the lightspeed compressor.

Everyone won’t admit it, but they’re anxious once they’re in deep space. Greez was beginning to regret declining your offer in outfitting more powerful ion cannons on the Mantis, however, it’s doing well so far. The scanners weren’t picking up any blips, it was also negative on Cere’s side—she’s not picking up any Imperial signals.

“They can still calculate our last known trajectory, y’know,” Greez pointed out.

“Then it’s like looking back and forth on lines scribbled on paper: pointless.”

“I wish I had the same perspective, kiddo,”

You dismissed yourself to your bedroom and shed all over your outer clothes, exempting the tank top. You slouched on the bed and examined your once-messed up leg. BD-1 panned his scanners across your shin and beeped out his diagnosis.

“Really? That’s good to hear. I can’t fight our ginger Inquisitor with a screwed-up leg, right?”

“Wooo!” BD whistled in agreement.

It was another long trip, enough for Greez to keep the ship on auto-pilot while still travelling through hyperspace and whip up some snacks. You gave a hard pass. You decided to rest in your bedroom—suddenly, you weren’t so used to desert heat. You preferred the temperate kind all because of Cameegon.

While the others snack away with fruits and bread, you paid a visit on the workbench—particularly, Cal’s lightsaber. You shut your eyes and tried to recall everything, as if trying to recognize him by repeatedly playing all the memories in your mind: his dark-tinted hair, the stubble that tickled your cheeks and jaw, the way he spoke with his eyes, the trademark lightsaber of the Inquisitor and the fluid way he moved with it. Thankfully, the imprints on the saber remained the same—you’re still figuring out if there was a way to get rid of the negative feelings.

You passed the time tweaking and polishing both sabers. Every once in a while, you’d use his saber to practice dual-wielding—conjoined or otherwise. You’ve indulged so much in your pastime that you didn’t notice the silence.

Meanwhile, Cal has flown back into his command ship hours ago and is staying in his personal quarters after the garrison has been established. In the solitude of his bedroom, he allowed himself to lose control: his lightsaber flung across the bedroom, a clang vibrated across the stale metal walls, he swept away the glasses and pitchers littered on his island counter, the datapads and hologram pucks flew off from the table in a single swing of the arm.

From the outside, the patrolling guards stared at the door, listening for the muffled noises coming from Cal’s side. They traded slow, awkward glances at one another—the banging sounds made their shoulders jump with every impact, they’re somewhat anticipating for indistinct shouts and roars but none came.

“I think we should call the cleaning droid,” one Stormtrooper suggested.

“Yep. I’ll radio that now,”

Minutes later, a protocol droid comes knocking in and introducing itself while doing the work. The least the Eleventh Brother could do was be polite to it and not scare it off.

“My apologies for the mess,” he sighed.

“Oh, it’s not a bother, sir. I will have these broken items replaced immediately.”

“Thank you,”

The Eleventh Brother gave himself time to calm down in the presence of the droid—he liked his privacy too much for anybody or anything to see him be himself. The droid leaves after rearranging the things on the floor, though it avoided the lightsaber lying on the floor. When the blast door shut, the young Inquisitor brooded over everything in his mind: the thoughts before, during and after his encounter with you in the forest, his impression of you, and the feelings he’s repressed all this time.

The seething rage and anger—which he doesn’t know whom to direct it to—burned all over his body. It was so intense that it made him feel hot all over. He tugged at his collar, struggled to take slow breaths, and clear his mind. Those efforts proved to be futile. He propped himself against the edge of his holotable, staring blankly at the empty surface of the machine, and attempted to clear his mind once more.

A faint, soothing sensation entered his body out of the blue.

It was sudden yet gentle, like a quick jab that landed a careful impact. The sensation—its warmth—was familiar though he can’t point his finger on it. He couldn’t explain it.

The Eleventh Brother starts to seek it, surveying his bedroom to trace where that feeling was coming from—it was the Force that beckoned him, but it wasn’t the Dark Side, he knew it wasn’t.

He still hasn’t mastered how to revel in it the way he’s supposed to—the Grand Inquisitor saw that. The master also saw that his groomed fledgling is still clinging on to certain emotions.

“If you cannot bring yourself to let those feelings go, you will either grow weak or you will have to make yourself resourceful with it.” The lumbering Pau’an once lectured the boy some time ago in the middle of his training.

The voice of the Grand Inquisitor and his words on that lesson rang in his head, but it was short-lived. He kept his mind fixed onto that strange feeling that caught his attention. The idea of following it, finding it, sounded appealing to him—it was almost seductive. This spurred his curiosity and led him out of his bedroom. The young Inquisitor prowled through the hallways, ignoring everyone who bumped into him—the employees didn’t even greeted or nodded to him, they simply gave way.

It felt like the trail was growing colder, weaker, and he was inclined to think it was just the exhaustion getting to him.

Cal found himself in an empty corridor. Am I in a dead end? He pondered to himself.

“[y/n]…?”he dared to utter. He didn’t know why, he felt like saying it.

Oddly enough, you heard your name being called. You turned around and there was nothing. But the voice… You know that voice better than anyone. Just hearing it spiked your senses—especially seeing, hearing, and feeling.

The discovery made you drop everything you’re doing—you put down the rag and the lightsaber part you’re polishing to search for the voice that uttered your name. You didn’t respond and hoped it would speak again.

What’s this feeling I’m picking up? You wonder in the dead silence.

Cal turned his head the other way and saw you standing at the dead end, with your back turned to him.

“[y/n]?” he takes one cautious step close.

In Cal’s perspective, he can see you physically—it’s as if you’re standing in the corridor with him. You were moving naturally with the subtle head-tilts followed by the slight brushing of your ponytail against your back, the pivot of your arms and elbows, and the noticeable shine of the lightsaber nestled in delicate grip of your fingers. He gulped a non-existent lump in his throat when your tank top partially revealed your upper back and the strap slid off from your shoulder.

When did she get here?

The echo of your name rung again behind you; this time you decide to do it slowly—first, angling your neck until you could glance over your shoulder. All of a sudden, you find Cal standing in front of you inside your bedroom in the Mantis!

When did he get here!?

Normally, you would’ve jumped or screamed and literally dropped everything to the floor. But it doesn’t make any sense to you. How did he get past? Why didn’t anybody from outside warn you about him?

“You see me, don’t you?” he spoke.

“And you see me?”

“As clear as day.”

You shake your head slightly, “I don’t understand…”

“What’s going on?”

You didn’t answer—rather, you couldn’t answer and you looked for an answer. It was crazy, but you took a step forward—and Cal sees your every move from his point of view too, he didn’t even realize his feet have dragged him one step forward, past the small bed.

“Where… where are you?” you asked.

“In my command ship,”

He guessed that you’re in the Mantis. Where else would you be?

His eyes trailed from bottom up. He spotted the bruise on your cheekbone, by impulse he stepped closer with his arm slightly reaching for you.

“What happened to you?”

“Huh?” you instantly realize that you forgot that you’ve been struck by a Tusken Raider. “It’s nothing. I… I bumped into a wall.”

An unamused chuckle huffed between his lips, “You, of all people? I doubt it.”

“Look, whatever it is you’re doing, stop it!”

“I’m not doing anything. This isn’t on me,”

From that reply, the confusion just spiraled deeper.

“Do you think the Force connected us?” he added.

“But how did it…?”

You trailed off. Thinking about it more just gave you migraine. An inch was the only thing that stood between the two of you. This was the only docile moment you’ve ever shared. Standing so close to him made your chest constrict, hot tears welled up and stung your eyes—you got a better look of Cal, without violently flinging lightsabers at one another. Past that dark façade, you hoped that he’s still the same boy you still love.

The young Inquisitor fondly gazes back at the girl—his girl—standing in front of him; although he isn’t entirely sure whether it’s all real or just an illusion, nonetheless, it was something he didn’t know he needed.

Another step closer to you. He can almost feel the warm air around the Mantis and hear the machine hum.

“It’s still you,” you gasped.

“What do you mean?”

“I still see the real you. I still feel the good in you,”

He wanted to prove you wrong. But what good will his words do? Will telling you that he’s not the same person shake your resolve? No, even when you’re far apart from one another—he still knows you all too well.

You slowly hoist your hand, you watch Cal mirror you, and like magnets your fingers gravitated towards each other. The inches diminish every second.

To feel each other once more…

It felt like a sin. The thought of it. The act of it.

“Kid, get in here!”

Greez’s abrupt call through the speakers in the room startled you and faltered your focus altogether; in the next second you blinked, Cal was gone. You were all alone again in the quarters. You shrugged it off and decided that it was wise to keep it to yourself; you hurried to the cockpit and co-piloted from your seat.

As for Cal, he wasn’t sure what went wrong. His fingertips were so close to yours, in the blink of an eye, he found himself alone in that corridor. A lieutenant patrolling the area spotted the Eleventh Brother standing in the middle of the way, looking left and right for something.

“Sir, is there something wrong?” the officer initiated.

“Nothing, I just… took a wrong turn,”

Cal marched past the lieutenant and headed back to his chambers. Questions piled up in his head, followed by theories and assumptions that do more harm than good—it just made him overthink, and overthink he did when he shut the door behind him and rummaged through his small shelf of texts from the Jedi Temple ruins in Coruscant as well as manuscripts that the Grand Inquisitor loaned.

Crusty parchments rustled between his fingers as he flipped the page, every once in a while, his finger would run down the pages to find a keyword or a drawn figure—anything goes. Reporting this to the Grand Inquisitor treaded in a gray line between “do it” and “do not do it” for Cal. Regardless, he’s found another thing to while away: sticking his nose into the books for the sake of figuring out the answer to how and why the Force connected the two of you together.

[soniabigcheese]

Interview with ....

Havoc - sorta

I must be insane by doing this. But taking a leaf out of @willow-salix book, I thought I'd try this technique and see how it works out.

Let's start with Havoc, since she's on my mind with my latest story.

Just an informal chat, that's all.

M= me

H= Havoc

Well d'uh, that's self explanatory.

********

We meet on board the Chaos Cruiser, Fuse has vanished out of sight so that leaves the two of us together. It is very distracting with all the bright lights flashing, but hey I managed to snag Havoc.

Who at this moment in time, has pulled her gloves off and is working at the computer. My guess is that she's uploading or upgrading her virus dat ...

H: hey, pass me a can of pop will ya?

M: slightly stunned at her sudden interruption .... er ... okay?

Since I don't know where they keep stuff, I'm floundering around trying to figure out which compartment.

She points to the floor ... more so the box that I'm sitting on ... rolling her eyes and probably grinding her teeth in exasperation.

H: they're in there ... dumbass

I figured that this is her favourite word for everything. At least it's a huge improvement on the string of expletives that would roll off her tongue. Some so crude and explicit that they'd make a sailor blush.

Anyways, I'm drifting away here. Back to the 'interview'.

I was surprised that she actually agreed to do this.

I heard fingers snapping

H: hey ... dumbass ....

M: uh .. what?

H: my can of pop?

Oh .. right.

I slide off the box ... it's an old fashioned cooler with a standard snap lock. Duct taped into a recess. Opened the lid and saw a selection of high sugary drinks. Not sure which one she liked, I grabbed one for her and closed the lid.

H: not having one for yourself?

I shrug and fish around in my bag for a bottle of water.

H: your loss

She opens the can with a hiss and chugs down half of her drink in one go, wipes her mouth with her sleeve and belches loudly.

H: so ... you wanted to interview me huh? Where's your pen and paper?

She leans forward and glares purposefully at me. It's very unnerving, being this close ... and stuck inside what's basically a souped up metal box.

M: Uh ... yeah 

I take another nervous sip of my bottle and I produce a small gadget, not unlike a mobile phone. She snatches it out of my hand.

H: Gimme that M: hey!

I watch helplessly as she thoroughly inspects it, firstly with open suspicion, then with derision and a snigger. She throws it back, I had to drop my water in order to catch it, spilling liquid all over myself in the process. I glower at her, she shrugs before finishing off her pop and crushing the can before tossing it into a nearby container, labelled ... Recycling.

H: Gotta save the planet y’know

I must have had some sort of expression on my face because she followed it up by a rather aggravated....

H: What? M: Oh, nothing, just surprised me, that’s all.

A snort

H: what? That the world’s worst baddies .... don’t do any recycling?

She froze, remembering what she said, was going to back track and defend herself and her brother, but waved a dismissive hand as if it wasn’t worth the effort. She leaned forward, elbow on knee and pointed at my ‘gadget’.

H: that’s what you’re using? M: Uh yeah H: why?

I shrug, fiddling with the controls.

M: Guess it’s something I’ve always used. Mainly to gather my thoughts together when writing. Sometimes I like to listen back to my interviews and reflect on the funnier things they used to get up to.

H: Huh, seems a waste of time to me ... another can of pop? If you don’t mind? Getting thirsty hanging around waiting for you to get on with the interview.

I’ve already relocated a little further away, but still close enough to open the lid  .. again. This time, I bring out two cans and fling them at her. She catches them effortlessly with an appraising nod and a grin.

H: Ta M: Welcome

A hiss and great gulps as she chugs down at least half of one can, drown out the music playing low in the background. I can just about recognise some of it. 

M: Europop?

Once again, her defenses go up, she stops drinking to glare at me, ignoring the fact that the orange fizzy liquid is now dribbling down her chin.

H: Yeah? What about it?

I open my mouth to say that it’s a song I actually liked, but was interrupted by her leaping up and jabbing a finger in my face.

H: You’re one of those reporters ... aren’t you? Take anything we say and do and twist it around just to get a bit of juicy gossip.

Just then, Fuse happened to arrive. I find myself switching between a bristling Havoc who was ready to punch my lights out. (I was really regretting actually taking this interview on) and Fuse, arms full of junk food and looking rather perplexed and confused.

F: Uh ... sis? What the...? H: She’s leaving ... aren’t you?

I shrug, relieved that at least I’m leaving without a single scratch, gathered my few bits and pieces ... and bolted for the exit, barely squeezing past the bulky figure of Fuse.

He held out a bar of chocolate.

F: Want one? I got plenty H: FUSE!! F: What ...? It’s true ... I've got more than enough.

I don’t know how that conversation went, because I was getting the hell out of there. With the vow to never interview her again.

What I did get ... she was hot headed, suspicious, liked high sugary drinks and Europop music. 

And didn’t like to share.

Maybe I should catch up with Fuse the next time. At least he’ll happily spill everything... with the right motivation

Interview over

[maluminspace]

Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Michael Clifford/Reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Dedicated to: My sisterwife @h0tsos

Trigger Warnings: strong language

A/N: This is one of many Michael fics I have planned for my fave Mikey hoes… This ss meant to be just a cute little fluff before y’all get bombarded with filthy smut! I hope you enjoy this, my lovely steff! 

***

Unlike most of your co-workers, you love working on Saturdays. Sure, it’s the busiest day of the week and therefore you get more than your fair share of asshole customers. Most of the shit you have to put up with is worth it, though. 

Saturdays are just usually great for your very favourite part of your job at the music store: helping kids pick out their first instrument. Nothing beats the excitement on a child’s face when they’re allowed to choose a musical instrument to play. 

Today was turning out to be a slight disappointment, though. An unexpected rainstorm had swept over the city and kept most of your would-be-customers at home. 

It’s fast approaching lunchtime and you should be reaching your peak selling time, but the shop remains mostly empty. You lean on the polished countertop, sighing with boredom as you watch your co-worker help a middle- aged lady pick out a new case for her beloved violin. 

After a moment your attention drifts to the rain-splattered window. The street outside is pretty much deserted. A couple of people run from the cafe across the street to the bus stop a little further down the road. You watch them distractedly for a few moments, huddling together under the metal shelter until the bus pulls up and obscures your view, snapping you back to reality.

Just to give yourself something to do, you head into the back room to change the music, determined to put on something a little happier to lighten your mood. Pulling up the playlist on the computer, you queue up a few of your old favourite tunes that always help to bring a smile to your face. Once you’re all done you head back into the front of the store. As you take your place back behind the counter you notice a new customer has appeared during your short absence. A guy with a couple of kids are standing with their backs to you, looking at the selection of junior guitars you have on display on the front wall. 

Knowing that new customers usually like to just browse for a while before being asked if they need help, you leave them to it, busying yourself with tidying the display of plectrums on the countertop.

When you look up again a moment later, you notice the smallest kid isn’t standing with the man and his other child anymore. Confused, you glance around the room until you see him heading over to your display of speakers and amps. Kids have tried to climb and sit on them many times before, but you’re not about to let this kid scuff up your perfect display.  

As your co-worker is still busy with the violin lady, you realise very quickly that the job of controlling this child falls to you. You head out from behind the counter, making your way over to the little boy. “Hey, buddy!” You chime, keeping your tone light and friendly. “Where’re you heading off to!”

The child turns around, his bright green eyes wide and startled like he’d already been caught doing something wrong. He stares up at you silently for a moment, seemingly thinking of the best way to reply so that he doesn’t get into trouble. He looks extremely adorable, his dark blonde hair is fluffy and in disarray, like he’d recently taken off a hat or hood. His shiny red raincoat is still damp as are the bottom half of the dungarees he’s wearing and his Star Wars themed wellies are flecked with mud.

“It’s okay.” You reassure him, smiling brightly. “You haven’t done anything wrong, I just don’t want you to get lost, this is a big store y’know.”

The little boy glances over to the man and the other child that he’d come into the shop with. “Is that your daddy and big sister over there?” You ask kindly, trying to make comfortable conversation.

The boy nods, nervously stuffing his tiny hands into the pockets of his coat.

“Are you all here to buy a guitar?” You ask, determined to get this kid to relax a bit, he seems incredibly shy. 

“For Cordi.” He replies quietly. “It’s her eighth birthday.” His face lights up as though talking about his big sister is one of his very favourite pastimes.

You can’t help but mirror his large smile. “Wow, that’s fun! Guitars are my favourite, shall we go and see if your daddy and Cordi need any help?”

The child nods again before scurrying off back towards his family. You follow him, feeling pleased to finally have something productive to do. 

“Hey, dude.” The dad chuckles, picking up his son. “Cordi can’t decide which one she wants. We might be here a while, but I promise we’ll go and get some food after, yeah?”

The little family seem adorable and you’re looking forward to helping them out as you step a little closer to them. “Hi there, welcome to RockBeat, can I help you at all?”

For the first time, the father turns to face you and you have to fight not to blush. It’s instantly clear where your new little buddy got his pretty eyes from and the rest of the man in front of you is equally as perfect. His bleached blonde hair is damp from the downpour, and his cheeks are a bit flushed, but he’s by far the most beautiful man you’ve laid eye on in a long time. “Yeah, please.” He replies, smiling shyly. “I’m looking for a junior guitar for my daughter, do you have any recommendations?”

“Sure…” You reply just about managing to tear your eyes away from the angelic man to look at the young girl holding his hand. Just like her little brother and her dad, Cordi has the prettiest green eyes, surrounded by thick golden lashes. Her hair is tied in two long, dark blond pleats with a red ribbon at the end of each. “A little birdy told me it was your birthday.” You smile, hoping to give off a friendly vibe as the girl shifts closer to her father until she’s half hidden behind his leg. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you, birthday girl.”

Glancing back up at her dad, you feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment when you notice the puzzled look on his face. Goodness knows how freaked out he must be that a complete stranger knows it’s his kid’s birthday. 

“Oh, your little boy told me!” You explain hastily.

The stranger glances at his youngest child, still nestled contentedly in his arms. “What have you been up to, Mr? You weren’t wondering off again, were you?”

The little boy buries his face in his dad’s shoulder, apparently feeling shy.

“Why do you have to be such an ass, Caleb!” Cordi huffs, rolling her eyes as she turns back towards the wall of guitars.

“Cordelia Karen!” The father gasps, his cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. “Don’t call your brother that, it’s not too late for me to change my mind about your birthday present, you know.”

Cordelia pouts, folding her little arms across her chest as she stares up her father pleadingly. “I’m sorry, daddy…”

The beautiful man in front of you immediately softens at his daughter’s apology.  “Okay, just don’t do it again.” He kisses his son’s cheek before placing him down on the ground and taking his hand.

It’s obvious that the father feels a little awkward now and you’re eager to help him relax. You glance over at the counter where your coworker is checking out the violin lady. “I’ll be right back.” You tell the little family before scurrying over to the counter. By the time you reach it, the only other customer in the shop is already heading off towards the exit. “Hey Gina.” You smile brightly, “I’m just helping this customer over here and it’s the little girl’s birthday, do we have any of those lollipops left?”

Gina nods as she brings out the pot of sweet treats from under the counter. They used to be left next to the till so that customers could help themselves, until a group of stupid teenagers used them as missiles, throwing them at each other across the shop. After that, your boss made it clear that the sweets and lollipops were for special customers only. 

You thank Gina and head back to your customers with the little pot. “We save these under the counter for our most important customers.” You explain in a faux serious voice, looking between all three of their faces. “I definitely think that a birthday girl and her family qualify as that.” You offer the pot to Cordelia who examines the contents for a moment before picking out a strawberry flavoured lolly. She offers her dad a questioning glance to ensure that she’s allowed to take it. He nods, rolling his eyes fondly.

“And what about you, lil buddy?” You ask, offering the pot to little Caleb, who’s still clinging to his father’s leg. “What’s your favourite flavour?”

Caleb surveys his options before pointing at a cherry flavoured lollipop. 

“Nice choice!” You commend, picking out the boy’s chosen lolly and handing it to him. “There are some seats over there, if you want to sit down while your sister decides what guitar she wants.

The little boy nods before looking up at his dad. “Can I play games on your phone?”

The father takes out his iPhone and unlocks it before handing it to his son, “stick to the ones that are already on there please, I don’t want any nasty surprises on my bill this time, young man!” 

Caleb giggles cheekily as he scurries off towards the little seating area and clambers onto a chair before unwrapping his lollipop.

“He’s gonna get my phone all sticky…” The dad groans. “I really need to buy him one of those kid’s tablets or something.” 

“Yeah, all of my friends with kids have said those things are a blessing” you laugh, sounding a bit nervous because you still can’t get over how beautiful this man is.

The blonde man returns a tiny giggle. “I wish that more of my friends had kids, maybe I’d make a lot less mistakes with my own, if I had people to give me advice.”

Your smile slips from your lips as the man in front of you suddenly becomes quiet and vulnerable. It takes all of your effort not to reach out and touch his arm. You’ve only known him for a couple of minutes and that would be a much too familiar gesture. Instead, you adopt an optimistic tone. “My friends make mistakes too, like every single day! I think that being a parent teaches the adults as much as the kids.”

The stranger gives a tiny huff of laughter. “You’re definitely right there…” 

There’s a sadness in the blonde man’s eyes that you desperately wish you could take away. You want to at least give him the opportunity to talk things out, it seems as though he keeps these particular emotions buried. You’ve known enough people like him to recognise the signs: the fake smiles, the worry lines on his forehead and the few premature grey hairs lurking at the dark roots of his bleached hair. “I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job… Your children both seem happy and they’re so polite! You wouldn’t believe some of the horrors we see in here sometimes.”

The blonde brightens up a little at your words and places a hand on his daughter’s shoulder, as though he’s trying to display how proud of her he is. “Thank you, that’s nice to hear. It’s easy to feel like a failure as a single dad sometimes.”

Cordelia huffs indignantly as she cuddles into his side. “You’re the best daddy in the whole world.” She declares, her pretty green eyes sparkling as though she might start crying. Her father appears to be just as emotionally affected by the words and the thought of either of them shedding so much as a single tear, breaks your heart. 

In an attempt to lighten the mood you paint a bright smile on your face and lean down to the little girl’s level. “I just realised that we haven’t all been properly introduced yet.” You hold out your hand to her as you tell her your name and she shakes it shyly as she tells you hers. You glance up hopefully at her dad, still smiling brightly. “And I’d love to know the name of the best daddy in the whole world.” You prompt, straightening up to your full height. 

The blonde man blushes a little as he shakes your hand. “I’m Michael.” He mumbles, shifting his weight awkwardly. “I’m not sure I really deserve that title, though.”

“Well I’m pretty sure that Cordelia said you are, and I trust her, she definitely wouldn’t lie to me.” You insist, your cheeks aching at how much you’re smiling now. There’s definitely something between the two of you, a connection of some kind. You sort of wish you’d met this guy in a bar or club or somewhere else that you could flirt with him openly and not have to worry about being judged by his children. “Anyway, we better get the birthday girl her big present!” You announce, finally letting go of Michael’s hand that you just realised you’re still holding.

Cordelia’s face lights up in a bright smile. “I’m gonna learn to play even better than daddy!” She exclaims, her pigtails bouncing as she jumps up and down on the spot.

“I don’t think that’d be too difficult.” Michael chuckles, tearing his eyes away from you to glance down at his little girl. “It’s been years since I even picked up a guitar...”

You scoff loudly. “Once you’ve mastered a musical instrument, the skill never leaves you.” You reassure the beautiful man in front of you. “Even if it gets a little rusty, it’s not hard to polish off. Maybe a new audience would help build your confidence back up.”

“Yes!” Cordelia grins excitedly. “All of my friends would love it if you played to us like you used to.” 

Michael bristles uncomfortably and you feel guilty for suggesting something he’s clearly not okay with. “Well I’m sure they’ll love it even more when you play for them!” You chuckle to Cordelia, hoping to redirect the conversation. “Let’s take a look at all these junior guitars and see which one’s worthy enough to be your first one!” You gesture toward the wall in front of them. “Are we looking for an acoustic or an electric?”

“I think acoustic to begin with.” Michael replies, surveying the options you have displayed on the wall. “I promised her she can have an electric one next year if she keeps up with her lessons until then.” He adds, shooting you a sideways glance, almost as though he’s seeking your approval for this parenting method. 

Nodding, you offer him an encouraging smile. “That sounds like a good deal to me! I think Cordelia is definitely right about who the best dad in the world is.”

Michael’s blush deepens a bit, but he keeps his eyes trained on the small guitars in front of him. “I’m still not sure about that.” 

Cordelia huffs and folds her arms across her chest like an angry teacher. “I’m gonna tell uncle Ashton that you’re being silly again.” She threatens. “He’s told you a million times that you’re great and that it’s not your fault that mama left…”

The blonde man gasps in horror at his daughter’s words as he cuts her off with a frantic wave of his hands. “Okay, Cordi, I get it. I’m sorry.”

Seemingly pleased with herself, Cordelia goes back to surveying the guitars on the wall.

“I’m sorry about that.” Michael mumbles. “I know your job must be difficult enough without hearing our life story.”

Resisting the need to hold back this time, you reach out and place a hand on Michael’s shoulder. “You don’t need to apologise. If there’s one thing I know about, it’s heartache.” You assure him, although your pained tone only seems to make him sadder. “I guess that’s just musicians for you, huh?” You add, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

To your surprise, Michael doesn’t try to shrug your hand away, he simply raises his eyebrow curiously. “What do you play?” He enquires, seemingly genuinely interested in that area of your life. 

“I play guitar and sing, mostly.” You reply. “I’ve recently been trying to teach myself to play piano too. I’m not very good at that yet, though.”

Michael opens his mouth to reply but is cut off by Cordelia making an impatient noise. 

“I’m sorry birthday girl!” You giggle. “Do you see anything that takes your fancy?”

Cordelia grins, pointing at a bright red acoustic guitar with a decorative design around the middle. “That one’s really pretty!”

You nod thoughtfully, reaching up to take her chosen instrument from the wall. “Red’s my favourite colour, so this is the one I’d have suggested, too. Do you want to hold it?”

The little girl looks up at her dad for permission and awaits his confirmation before holding out her hands eagerly. “Yes please!”

It’s hard to tell who looks more excited and emotional in the moment when Cordelia takes the guitar from you. The little girl is obviously delighted but her father looks so proud and you’re sure that you notice him wipe a tear from the corner of his eye. Not wanting to draw his daughter’s attention to it, you call for your co-worker. “Gina, this is Cordelia, it’s her birthday today! That means she gets a free strap to go with her new guitar. Will you show her what options we have please?” 

Gina agrees easily and beckons the little girl over to the stand with the children’s guitar straps. Cordelia looks thrilled as she hands you the guitar back to you, before skipping over to your co-worker.

“This is a big day for you, huh?” You ask Michael gently. “Your little girl getting her first guitar, that’s a huge deal!”

Michael sniffles, trying to hide his face behind his hand so that you can’t see the fresh tears that escape from the corner of his eyes. “When she told me she wanted to learn to play an instrument, I expected her to say she wanted drumming lessons. She’s super close to my friend that used to be our band’s drummer, so I really expected her to want to be like him.” His voice is thick with emotion as he continues. “But when I asked her about it, she said she wanted to learn guitar so that she could be like her favourite person in the world. I thought she was going to follow that up by telling me about some band I’ve never heard of that her friends listen to or something. Instead, she said that her favourite person in the world was me and I…” 

When his voice breaks fully, you throw caution to the wind yet again and place both hands on his shoulders, not feeling quite brave enough to go in for a full hug. “Of course you are! I’ve known you all for like five minutes and I can tell that you’re a hero to both your kids. It’s obvious how much they love and look up to and from what I’ve seen, it’s well deserved.”

Michael offers you a watery smile. “I don’t feel like I deserve it all. If it wasn’t for my amazing friends and my wonderful parents, I don’t know I’d cope. I definitely couldn’t do this entirely alone.”

It feels slightly awkward because you want to know more about his life and how you can help make it better but it feels strange to think that when you’ve only just met him. “Well, from an outside perspective, I think you’re doing a brilliant job. It’s adorable that your little girl wants to be like you. She’s made a good choice if you ask me.” You smile all-too-fondly.

Michael seems to really appreciate your words. He hastily wipes his eyes and forces a brighter smile onto his face. “Anyway, I better go and see how much this fancy guitar is gonna cost me…” He chuckles. “Kids never seem to pick the least expensive option for anything.”

“Well today must be your lucky day because, this is in our lower price range and you qualify for the birthday discount, of course.” You give him a friendly wink before heading over to the counter.

“Is that a real thing?” Michael asks sceptically. “I’m happy to pay whatever the real price is, I don’t want you to get into trouble…”

You wave your hand in a dismissive gesture. “It’s a discount I’m allowed to give I promise.” You reassure him. “It also comes with a free case. So she’s really let you off lightly.”

Michael doesn’t seem convinced that he’s entitled to all that you’re offering but he doesn’t argue as you enter the product code into the till. You add the ‘birthday discount’ which is really your staff discount that you should use for friends and family only, but you see it as helping to secure a future friend, which is just as important as existing ones in your opinion. His face brightens as he sees how much the price is reduced and it makes your heart feel full. “Are you sure that’s right?” He questions disbelievingly. 

“Yeah, that’s right.” You confirm, ringing through the transaction.

Before Michael can question you further, Cordelia bounces over to the counter brandishing a bright rainbow coloured guitar strap. “Can I have this one, daddy?” She asks hopefully and squeals with delight when Michael nods. 

The father still seems taken aback by your kindness when he slides his card into the machine and types in his pin number.

“I’ll just go and grab the free case.” You offer, before heading into the store room. You wish that you could give Michael and his kids even more free stuff just make them smile but you really would get into trouble if you gave them anything else. Once you locate the plain black fabric case for Cordelia’s chosen guitar, you pull it from the shelf and head back into the shop where the little family are gathered near the counter. “Do you want me to put the guitar in here for you?” You ask, unzipping the case.

“Yes please.” Cordelia replies. “Thank you for all my free extras!”

You grin widely as you place the guitar and the strap into the case and hand it to the little girl. “You’re more than welcome! Just remember to always ask for me when you come back here and I’ll always make sure I give you the best deals.” 

“About that…” Michael mumbles awkwardly as he picks up a sleepy looking Caleb. “It’s been a long time since I played guitar, I could do with a refresher on how to change strings and tune it up, would you be able to help me with that?”

“Sure.” You nod, hoping for the first time ever that a string breaks on the new guitar sooner rather than later so that you get to see Michael again. “If you’re passing before that, though, I wouldn’t say no to a piece of birthday cake.”

Cordelia giggles at your cheeky wink and then tugs at her father’s coat sleeve. “We can bring some tomorrow, can’t we?” She asks excitedly.

“I don’t see why not.” Michael agrees before turning his gaze back to you. “As long as you’ll be here.” 

“I will be.” You confirm. “I can’t wait to see you all again.”

Michael reiterates that he’ll be back tomorrow before thanking you once again and turning towards the exit.

You can hear Cordelia chatting excitedly all the way out of the shop and your heart sinks as they step out into the rain.

“What the fuck are you still standing here for?” Gina chuckles, startling you out of your thoughts. “Go give him your number!”

You shake your head, watching through the large window at the front of the shop as Michael places Caleb down on the pavement and takes the guitar from Cordelia. “I can’t do that, he’d laugh at me…”

“He made it clear that he was single and the tension between the two of you was un-fucking-barable.” Gina groans, rolling her eyes impatiently. “Either go and give him your number or I will!”

Trying not to overthink it, you scribble your phone number onto a scrap of paper and hurry out of the shop. Michael and his children are still standing in front of the window and look up at you in surprise when you jog over to them. “I wanted to give you this.” You smile, fully aware of how much you’re blushing. “Just in case you have a broken string emergency or anything before tomorrow.”

Michael glances down at you number before meeting your gaze, his green eyes sparkling softly. “Is it okay to use this for a general chat as well?” He asks, the nerves in his voice barely disguised. “It’s been a long time since I made any new friends”

“Of course… And I’d love to see a photo of what Cordelia’s cake looks like before she brings me a slice of it tomorrow!”

The blonde man smiles softly. “General chats and cake photos are the least we can do to thank you.”

After saying goodbye once again, you head back into the shop to dry off, feeling proud of yourself for being brave for once. You head into the kitchen to make yourself and Gina a warm drink, still not quite believing that your risk had paid off. When you return to the counter, you are rewarded by a text message pinging through to your phone. When you open the message from the unknown number, you smile to yourself at the simple words that suddenly mean so much to you. 

Thanks again for today. You’ve made Cordelia’s birthday so much more special and we can’t wait to see you again tomorrow!

It’s strange how quickly you’ve developed a fondness for Michael and his little family. You’re fully aware that nothing may come of this, but you have a feeling that you’ve gained a new friend at the very least.

Tag list: @clffrd @byxthexway @afuckingunicornn @painkillerash @moonchildsblack @calumbbyyy @h0tsos @loveroflrh @sexgodashton @megz1985 @myfalsedevotion @aulxna @honeyedlashton @tea4sykes @ghostofmashton @fairyintheglass @cashworthy @cashtonasfuck @opheliaaurora23 @5sosnsfw @wildmichaelflower @loverofcashton @irwinkitten @cxddlyash @wildmalumflower @lowpowermodex​@cashtonasff5sos @iovehemmings @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles​ @celticclifford​ @5-secondsofcolor​

[wiz-witch]

DuckTales 2017 3x06: Astro B.O.Y.D.!

Computer. Cooperate. Work sucked and I need this.

Ooh, we’re starting with Woodchucks. I guess that’s a good way to get Boyd and Huey to... meet... Wow I am slow

Okay that is such a mood

...Y’know, I was talking (okay, rambling) the other day about how I wasn’t sure if Huey actually had any friends in his troop. I, uh... I’ll just say I hope Woodchucks end better for him than Girl Scouts did for me ^^’

I don’t like this kid. And he kinda looks like a Beagle

...Yeah, this is bringing back really bad memories of Girl Scouts

I forget, does Huey know Boyd is a robot yet?

Also, I’m suddenly cackling because I think there was a joke about people thinking that between him and Boyd, Huey is the robot

Ah, okay, he doesn’t know

This is adorable I love this friendship already

“Practically downloaded into my head” Boyd, sweetie...

Well, there’s menacing screenshot one taken care of

HI FRANK WHAT THE HELL THAT IS F*CKED UP

Why is it always the laser eyes with this kid?

I love how they changed out of their Woodchuck uniforms without uncovering Boyd’s eyes

Me when a resident needs the nurse

Also, love the glasses

Aw, Gyro, you made him sad :(

Gyro, you really have to be more specific

kjakljl;kjdklsj AND MANNY MADE THE SMAE JOKE

2BO? Am I missing something there?

...Also why the f*ck did Gyro design an android that could pass as Beaks’ son?

Gyro you are going to make the robot boy cry

...Fenton. Read the f*cking room.

Okay, I’m not sure taking off his glasses while standing right in front of him was the best decision--did Gyro even know what the current glitch was??

Gyro why are you so melodramatic?

“He’s a kid, like me--just wired a little differently” autistic Huey ftw!

Whoo! Theme songless episode!

Gyro, do any of you even know what that means?

Wow that is a great way to subtly hide the kid

Huey, are you actually surprised that Gyro’s committed crimes?

D’aw, L’il Bulb sacrificed himself for Boyd

...Wait, I thought L’il Bulb died

I love how he didn’t even pause! “Of course we’re not--Gizmoduck, break through the door”

Oh my gosh that is awesome--wonder if that was the Blathering Blatherskites joke Frank hinted at

Okay, I know they’re not saying “Tokyo”, but what is the name of this not-Tokyo?

Fenton stop being adorable

Are we going to see Huey’s robot skills from “Day of the Only Child!” and “Who is GizmoDuck?!” this episode? Because I wanna see that

Also, has anyone suggested that Gyro’s mentor was/is part of FOWL? Because I’ve been thinking that all week and just realized I never actually shared that

Huey is a Good Big Brother

Ugh, I knew we were going to see him but I was kinda hoping we wouldn’t

...Okay, that’s actually kinda adorable

Gyro be nice to your kids

Ah, that’s why Huey’s so apprehensive

Uh oh... This isn’t good

Ah preview clip

Fenton, this is why your notebook is so full

I like this music

[slow clap]

DID HE JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE SAID??

Huey is just terrified beyond all belief... 

I just realized how Astro Boy-esque this music sounds

THAT IS ADORABLE

Call the police?

Oh that’s why that was there

Fenton, sweetie...

Oh. That silhouette of Gyro looked more like his classic appearance. Neat.

Daw, Huey calming Boyd :D

...Oops

Oh my gosh, did Gyro use to be like his comics/87 self?

...f*ck I’m gay

Fenton. Sweetie.

Huey did flappy arms!

This needs to stop being so adorable--my heart can’t take it

...Tokyolk. Really. [sigh] Bird puns.

ASTRO BOY(D)!

...[facepalm] 2BO sounds like Tobio... goddamit...

Yes, let’s just show up in the middle of the city

Oh my gods that shouldn’t be this much of a mood

20 years? How old is Gyro?

Aw, Fenton’s worried about Huey

This is going to hurt.

Yup it hurts

This shouldn’t hurt this much!

Oh no, scary eyes

Oh, that explains that poster

Fenton! Seriously! Point is all the way over here ------------> .

Gyro, you’re not helping

That was adorable, I need screenshot

Huey, sweetie...

jkldajlkf;ajlkjdsalkjd Gyro what was that noise?

Also, Gyro, I’m really concerned over the fact that this is the second time you’ve been bested in robotics by a ten year old

Aw, Gyro does have a heart

ooh, I like that we got to see the full versions of the glitch memories

That was way more adorable than it should’ve been

...I just realized we were so worried about Gyro not having been in the preview stuff, and really it’s because the scenes the preview scene and the screenshots were from were while he was looking for the f*cking light bulb XD

Parallels!

There’s that poster

Fenton, how are you not dead

That’s f*cked up

And so is that

That was way cuter than it had any right being

D’aw Gyro’s worried about Fenton

MY HEART

...His eyes are blue now

...He’s the f*cking blue core

lol, good, we don’t have to change our fanfictions

Y’know, i now kinda wonder where Gyro would’ve ended up if Boyd hadn’t been reprogrammed

Also the frame I paused on is amazing

I love when characters say what I’m thinking

why is this so adorable

Haha Astro Boy pose

Well I enjoyed that