#my dad/grandma and my sperm donor/dad were/are both autistic though.

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

My gender complex goes back 3 generations and through two queer women and their family trauma, I feel like I know what I'm talking about. We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Thirty

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

August 25th, 2000

Emile gave both his parents one last hug. “Thanks Mom, Dad. I promise I’ll call soon,” he said.

His mom and dad just smiled as they packed the last of his things in his car together. “You’ll do fine, Emile. Don’t feel pressured to call us if you can’t do it every week,” his mom advised. “Of course, I won’t object to you calling every week, but...”

Emile laughed. His dad gave him a hug. “I’m so proud of you, son. Go out and get that degree, so you can be the world’s best therapist, like you’ve been wanting to do since you were twelve.”

“I will,” Emile promised. “And I’ll call when I can, and write when I can’t, and I love you both.”

The three of them hugged, before Emile drove all the way to his college, teary-eyed. This was it. He was on his own, figuring out what he wanted to do with his life. It was nerve-wracking, but also incredibly freeing.

He already knew he was going to miss his parents, though.

July 13th, 2019

Logan was fiddling with his hair in his room, pulling faces in the mirror he was holding up to mess with it. “You doing okay, Logan?” Emile asked.

“Fine,” Logan said, voice only cracking a little. “Just want to look presentable to your parents.”

Emile shook his head fondly and walked over, fixing Logan’s cowlicks with a little hair gel. “You’ll do fine, Logan. You look your best when you’re relaxed. Don’t stress so much. My parents are going to love you and your brothers.”

“I hope so,” Logan said softly.

“I know so,” Emile asserted. “They fell in love with Remy the second they met him, and immediately asked me when I planned to pop the question. In front of him. They’re just like me, in that sense. So just treat them with the same respect you give me, and you’ll do fine.”

Logan nodded. “Would a tie be too much, then?”

Emile smiled. “I would say no, but only because I know you love wearing ties anyway. There’s no need for your Sunday best around my parents. They’ve seen some silly pictures of you anyway, from your brothers’ escapades and your reactions. They’re not going to expect you to be poised all the time, or even want that from you.”

“I’m not used to grandparents being understanding,” Logan muttered.

“I know,” Emile said, helping Logan with his tie. “But you’re going to do great, understand me?”

Logan nodded as a car door closed outside. “That must be them,” Emile said with a smile. “Let’s go greet them, shall we?”

Vanellope was waiting at the door, tail wagging as she watched Emile’s parents through the screen door. She squirmed excitedly as Logan put her leash on and walked out of the house with her to greet Emile’s parents. Emile followed Logan out, keeping a steady hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Hey Mom, Dad! It’s been a little while!” he laughed.

“I know it has, you missed Christmas!” his mother scolded, but she was smiling. “You never missed Christmas with us before!”

“We didn’t want to shock Roman quite that soon,” Emile said, walking over and giving his mom a hug. “Dad, how are you?”

“Still stunned that I get to meet five grandchildren. I wasn’t even expecting one, let alone five!” his dad exclaimed.

Emile laughed and he hugged his dad, as he heard the front door open more behind him, and he could hear Roman chatting with Virgil and Patton. The three of them grew quiet as Emile stepped back, and they looked decidedly uncertain. “Mom, Dad, you can see Logan, holding Vanellope; he’s sixteen. Roman is the second oldest and second tallest; he’s twelve for one more week. The twins are Patton and Virgil, Patton is the one who looks like me, and Virgil is the blond; they’re both eight. And...where’s Dee?”

“Inside,” Roman said. “He’s attached himself to Ami’s leg and refused to let go.”

Emile laughed. “Well, then, you’ll see Dee when you go inside and Remy finds a way to walk around without hurting him. He’s six.”

His dad shook his head. “How do you accidentally adopt five kids, Emile?”

“Well, I told you I was a sperm donor in college, right?” Emile asked.

His dad stared at him blankly for one, two, three seconds. Then, he started to laugh. “Wait a second...all these kids...are yours? Biologically?!”

“Uh...yeah,” Emile said, scratching the back of his neck. “Whoops?”

His dad only laughed harder. His mother shook her head fondly. “Well, I always knew you were destined for chaos, Emile, but this isn’t quite what I was expecting.”

“Yeah,” Emile said. “Shall we go inside, though? I can grab your bags.”

“Nonsense, we can carry our own bags, Emile,” his dad said. “You get that lovely husband of yours and our youngest grandson.”

“Will do,” Emile said with a laugh. He walked back inside and could hear faint murmuring as he entered the house, no doubt Logan introducing himself. “Hey, Rem, Mom and Dad are here!”

He could hear quiet murmuring from the kitchen and he followed the noise to find Remy hugging Dee, who was shaking like a leaf. “Rem?” he asked.

“Dee’s worried about the new people,” Remy said softly. “Apparently new people usually weren’t good in the past.”

“Aw, don’t worry, Dee, Mom and Dad will love you,” Emile said. “They’re your grandparents, how could they not like you?”

Dee looked at Emile uncertainly and signed, “What if they want me to talk?”

“They know that you prefer signing to speaking, Dee, and they’ve been trying to re-learn sign to talk to you in your preferred language,” Emile explained. “My parents want to accommodate you as much as possible. I got it from somewhere, I didn’t just spring out from the ground wanting to help everyone I saw.”

Dee still looked uncertain.

“Look, you can stay with Ami if you want, or you can come with me, both of us are going to wind up in the living room with your grandma and granddad. And if you get overwhelmed, you’re always free to leave,” Emile said softly.

Dee nodded and signed, “I’ll stay with Ami.”

“Okay. If you want, you can help him with drinks, but don’t cling to his leg so that he can’t move, okay? He likes seeing my parents too,” Emile said.

Dee nodded and Emile moved back through the house to the living room, where Logan was sitting with Vanellope in his lap on the floor, and Roman, Patton, and Virgil were playing together on one of the couches, while his parents were on the other. “Dee and Remy should be in shortly,” he informed them.

“That’s good,” his mom said. “Logan was just telling us about his transition, and how much you and Remy have helped him.”

Logan turned a bit pink. “I mean, I wouldn’t have started my transition at all without Dad and Ami by my side,” he said. “It’s only fair to thank them, and give them the recognition they deserve.”

Emile smiled. “I’m happy that you feel more comfortable in your skin, Logan. Everyone deserves to feel like themselves.”

“Seconded!” Roman exclaimed.

“Thirded!” Patton and Virgil said at the same time. “Same hat!” they said, pointing at each other.

Logan laughed.

Remy walked in, and Dee wasn’t quite clinging to Remy’s legs, but he was hiding behind them. Emile’s parents were the picture perfect definition of surprised. “Oh, I think I see one more grandchild!” his dad exclaimed. “Is this Dee?”

Dee poked his head out from behind Remy and offered a wave.

“Hi, Dee,” Emile’s mother signed. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Dee offered a shy smile in return as he signed back, “Likewise.”

Both of Emile’s parents smiled as Remy gave them both glasses of water. “Here you guys go. I know you must be tired after the long drive.”

“Thank you, Remy,” Emile’s mother said, standing up and kissing Remy on the cheek.

Dee looked shocked, as did Patton and Virgil. “What, have you guys never seen positive familial affection before?” Roman asked.

“My mother would sometimes to that to me,” Logan offered. “Even if she wasn’t the greatest person in the world.”

Dee just shook his head. “Mama didn’t do that for me in ages,” he signed.

Emile just sighed. “I really wish she would have,” he said, “Because you deserve it.”

Dee came over and hugged Emile and Emile hugged him back. “I know, it’s still hard,” he murmured.

“It’s always hard,” Dee signed as he pulled back.

“I know,” Emile said softly. “But you’ll get through it. You’re one tough cookie.”

“I was overbaked?” Dee asked.

Emile laughed. “You know what I mean,” he said.

“Yeah,” Dee agreed. “But taking things literally is what I do.”

“I know it is,” Emile said. “That’s one of the symptoms of being autistic, actually.”

Dee furrowed his eyebrows. “Really?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Emile said. “It’s really interesting, actually. There’s many different symptoms, and people rarely have all of them, because it’s such a varied spectrum! But that’s a fairly common one!”

Dee made an interested noise in the back of his throat and grinned, his tongue pushing against his bottom teeth, making one of them shake. He jumped and felt at it in surprise.

“Ohhhh,” Patton said. “Dee, you’re starting to lose your baby teeth!”

“What?!” Dee asked in clear alarm.

“No, it’s okay, that’s normal!” Patton exclaimed, jumping off the couch and baring his teeth. “You see how some of my teeth are way bigger and some of them have gaps?”

Dee nodded.

“That’s because I lost a few of my teeth, and my adult teeth have started to grow in! It’s normal! Don’t worry, it just means you’re growing up!”

Dee’s face was shocked. He felt at his tooth. “It’s not very loose,” he signed.

“It gets looser the more your adult teeth grow in,” Patton explained. “Until eventually you can just pull it out with no pain!”

“Pull it out?” Dee asked.

“Well, yeah,” Virgil chimed in. “That’s how you make room for the adult teeth. But it’s okay! Because the Tooth Fairy comes at night and gives you money when you lose a tooth if you leave it for her!”

Dee’s eyes got really wide. “Really?!” he asked.

“Yeah!” Virgil said. “It’s been a while since I’ve lost a tooth, actually. Some of mine have to be getting loose soon.”

Emile watched the exchange fondly. His father cleared his throat. “So,” he paused for a minute, before he grinned. “Have you kids ever played a good game of badminton?”

“Dad!” Emile exclaimed with a laugh. “Are you seriously trying to convert them to sports already?!”

“Badminton can be fun,” Logan said. “It was one of the games I played to get my gym credit fulfilled in school, and I found it to be entertaining, and easy on the body.”

Emile’s dad pointed at Logan. “You. I like your style,” he said with a grin. “I brought a badminton net that we could set up in the backyard. Does that sound good? We could play a round or two.”

“Sure!” Logan agreed. “I’d have to change out of my binder, but I’d be game.”

Patton squealed and Logan cringed. “Pun not intended!” he exclaimed, pointing at Patton.

“Patton figured out what puns were in a joke book the other day, and he’s been trying to come up with them ever since,” Remy explained to Emile’s very confused parents.

“Puns are fun!” Patton exclaimed. “They’re like the kinds of jokes my friends dads would say when we’d go over to their houses to play!”

“Well, they are often called ‘Dad jokes,’” Roman said.

Patton stared at Roman in shock. “Really?!” he asked excitedly.

“Really,” Roman said with a laugh.

They all slowly moved outside, and the second Logan came out in a tank top and sports bra, Emile knew that Logan was not intent on losing against his grandfather in the game. “Logan, sunscreen!” Emile advised before Logan could get off the deck.

Logan looked at him in exasperation but obligingly sprayed sunscreen on his arms and legs, and smeared some on his face and neck. He pulled a face as he rubbed the excess sunscreen off on a napkin. “That stuff feels disgusting,” he said.

“I know, but it will help,” Emile said. “Now go on and play the one sport you find enjoyable.”

Logan gave him a smile and ran into the yard to help put up the net and grab a racket. Roman grabbed one as well, and Emile’s father did too. Remy laughed and called, “I’ll join for doubles!” taking off his jacket and donning his sunglasses, grabbing the fourth and final racket they had.

Emile’s dad teamed up with Roman and as he hit the birdie over the net, the game began. There was running and shouting and a lot of laughter, and Emile watched them with a smile on his face from the safety of the deck. Dee was playing with Vanellope, and Patton and Virgil were refereeing, which left Emile and his mom with some much needed time to catch up.