#my dream job would be being a radio dj where i just get to put all my music on shuffle and talk abt all the songs i like

[zincbot]

i've been doing a music exchange with my father and it's been so fun. i've been sending him indie music from the 90s and niche 2000's electronic rock and he's been sending me 60s country folk and like motown stuff

i'm genuinely having the time of my life

[dzpenumbra]

6/6/23

Today was intense, in a lot of ways.

I got about 3-4 hours of sleep. I woke up from a very intense dream. It was about me being in a relationship, and having an interaction with my brother, and it actually was a good dream. We were just hanging out like the old days, and he noticed some bands he hadn't heard of in my recently played queue on YouTube and asked about them, and I showed him some that I thought he'd be into. I can't even tell you how long it's been since that's happened, since he's even asked me what I listen to nowadays.

This may not seem like much but... my brother and I used to jam out constantly. There was a period where we would play music several hours a day, every day. We played a few gigs together too. And a few years back we even recorded a full length album together, just the two of us. Music has really been the common thread. But I don't know what happened to him. He would introduce me to so much cool music, but like... and I had this happen with two other friends who are also... not friends anymore... for very similar reasons... They would go "hey man, we should exchange music" and then they'd just play like 20 songs in a row for me, and if I share any, they'd talk over it or half tune-out. Fucking... can't really explain how much that's a death sentence for a musical friendship.

In 2000's terms, that's like if I burned a mix CD for them, specifically curated for them, and they never listened to it and I found it on the floor of the passenger seat. I have no clue why people do that... ego, I guess. It just really hurts that like... the two people who told me (over a decade later) that I passively helped introduce them to the music that shaped their lives... I guess they're just... done with me? I mean, they never even told me. And 10+ years later they let me know, and I go... "oh shit, well now I can actually curate stuff for you! Now that you're fucking communicating... I used to be a radio DJ, that's like a dream for me!" And they fucking tune out. It's so sad.

So yeah, the dream was really nice, but once I woke up... I was devastated. Because those days are long behind me, and may never happen again. And I started to spiral a bit.

I started to go down the thought chains of like... seeing cartoon versions of myself in my head the way my family has painted me. My own flesh and blood. And seeing myself as this like... angry, delusional, ranting homeless person... And I kept having this thought, like... if my parents didn't have money? Or if they just decided to stop sending money to me. I would either be homeless or my career would be over, likely for good. Given that I have no employment history for the last... going on 10 years... outside of self-employment... and no references... and no friends... and no connections... I mean... Do you really think I'm getting a job? I mean... if I get anything, I'm getting the bottom of the barrel, and that shit ain't gonna pay the bills.

And my life has been this for a long time. But... the image of how my family sees me? That shit was super vivid today. Maybe it's because I grew out my beard that it makes it easier for me to see it in myself. I don't know. But it was deeply unsettling.

Then my phone rang. At 8:30 AM, when I was trying to clear that image from my head and cleanse my palate so I could go back to sleep. It was the doctor's office. They cancelled my appointment, the doctor wasn't in today. They rescheduled for Wednesday.

I just stayed up. I started playing Oxygen Not Included, which is fun but... kinda just makes me want to play Rimworld. I set up the succulent leaves in a container so they should be set to start growing clones. (I hope.) The tomato seems to be recovering nicely, though its leaves are still very curled over, but it's been cold out the past few days so... that's probably a factor.

I started on a big art piece today and I put a ton of work into it. I made a huge 10k x 10k pixel canvas in Krita and started doing this bubble abstract style... but I am planning to do this one fractally. So... I'm basically doing the same kinda bubble patterns at 10% zoom, then zooming in to 25% and drawing bubble patterns inside the bubbles, then zooming in to 50% and drawing bubble patterns inside those bubbles, etc. I got to 50%, I'm about halfway through that. I just need to figure out what I'm going to do for the kinda membrane texture between the bubbles. I put in a ridiculous amount of work on that today... like... at least 5-6 hours. My wrist and fingers are actually sore from it. It looks really damn cool.

I took a nap, it went well, I got up and did more drawing. I also ended up going for a walk in the woods.

I was pretty anxious, to be honest. Especially when I got to the woods, which is usually my calm place. Because I used to go to woods where there weren't a lot of people, this is in the middle of a city. With all the plants all overgrown and shit, with me by myself? There was zero visibility. I was expecting to get jumped for a lot of the walk, kept looking over my shoulder. It was uncomfortable. I was searching for cut dried branches, small logs, big moss patches by the riverside. I unfortunately did not have much luck. I ended up grabbing some moss samples from a felled tree that was soft enough it could be pulled apart with my bare hands. I grabbed two samples and some extra wood to use as a base for them and headed home. My plan is to get some stones and set up water circulation with the pump I have, then set up the wood chip layer (maybe some soil of some kind?) and the moss samples by the waterside. They can just absorb the moisture from the water in the container, that's the theory. I just... didn't get any rocks is all... but I've actually been debating grabbing some of the rock debris from down by the laundry room... this building is very old and the stone from that part of the building is local stone that was used in constructing the old walls. It has history to it. But it's also been inside for god knows how long, not exactly the same ecosystem as out there. Idk. Still thinking that part over.

When I was coming back from the woods, I looked at the sky... and I saw a huge red sun. It was... surreal. I'm sure people from other parts of the world are rolling their eyes, but I've honestly never been able to look directly at the sun before. I guess there was a lot of dust or smoke particulates in the air? My first thought seeing it was "super thick atmosphere, that's what causes that". When I got back, I checked the weather and... sure enough... weather alert warning people with breathing problems not to go out and exercise today. I guess we're just gonna have to start getting used to this, it's been going on for years now. But that sun, damn. That was a really powerful sight. Definitely fit the tone of the day.

So yeah, that was basically the day. Very little sleep. Lots of art. Lots of stress, some apocalyptic feelings, but overall a pretty nice day, considering.

Tarot time.

Past - VIII: Strength, inverted (Overcoming fear, mastery of emotions through equilibrium and inner strength.) Present - Knight of Swords (Clarity from confusion. Rugged, fierce, determined, logical. Deliverer of answers, but frank to a fault.) Future - Page of Pentacles (The bearer of opportunity, relating to material or financial matters; or possibly of studious or pragmatic nature.  A chance to prove yourself.)

Alright... seeing some familiar cards. This thread is starting with inverted Strength... an emotional imbalance, overwhelming of fear, that kinda shit. That's connected to Knight of Swords... so... my issues with fear and emotional turmoil have resulted in a lot of clarity and determination... true... and this leads to... Page of Pentacles - a new one for me - which is representative of a great opportunity presenting itself, one of material or intellectual wealth.

A nice affirming message is what I'm getting out of this tonight, which is welcome. I don't feel a need to go any deeper than that. Though my emotional struggles have been difficult (to say the least), they have taught me so much. Because I didn't cower from them, I learned about them. I studied them. I sat down and had parlays with them. And, you know, we're still finding that democratic balance. It's always tough when trauma strings get plucked... but something in the knowledge, clarity and will that I've developed as a direct result of my fear disorders... if I play my cards right (haha <eyeroll>)... can lead to a great reward. Not just for myself, but for others as well.

At least, that's the goal.

Alright. I'm utterly wiped. Time for bed.

[blondrichclosetwitch]

I said “be careful, his bowtie is really a camera.”

All I want are your bitter tears.(duh)

If you want a page written "bout you in the book 'cause

you cursed the cook

I'll take some wine but you can dine without me

Without me, who would let you

play God

And make-believe

I'm the gypsy, the acid queen

Pay me before I start

I'm the gypsy, I'm guaranteed

To tear your soul apart

Someone help them

You are not a victim

You just scream with boredom

 it’s a game

I can’t wait to see you

High all the time

Shake it, break it, destroy it to make it

You can’t understand yourself you need someone else

“I can only be normal with you.”

Car keys

“Car keys, or keys?”

Keys

DJ every night (sorry the times are not exact, I was werkin)

I will sit down, waiting for the gift of sound and vision

Now i just act like I don’t remember Mary acts like she don’t care

“Was it the cure?”

“Hope not!”

Being harsh

All of my old friends aren’t so friendly

Tell my sister that I miss her

Tell my brother that it gets much easier

Everybody needs the light

someone controlled you, you were perverted too

All joys and anxieties have tripled

We belong to the Middle Ages

It is insane to kiss each other In that normal human way do you know I believe I am supremely intelligent and he says how vain you are

I am a descendent of Joan of arc

She wanted to be where she could not see herself; where everything didn’t happen twice

And so what she caught was never the truth

Quickly she turned to catch the face of her soul but even when she moved at dream speed, she saw the face of the actress

You know they’re talking about you but you don’t know who

your heads in a fish tank; your body and your mind can’t breathe

Sorry officer, the radio was blowing my mind

I’m not sad, not sad, not sad, not sad, not sad at all

“No one will notice, no one will know.”(themesong?)

What would your mama think pretty Peggy o

So you only know me like the shoreline knows the sea

When i'm falling down is when you're falling down

John i'm getting nowhere

I wrote this letter on the edge of sea and sky

I'm so high that I've lost my mind

40 days and I'm blown away

You said you're always sleeping

It's just that I'm always falling

And it makes me feel bad, yeah

Lonnie, 9:09 seemed important, keep your nose clean and just put your phone on airport to avoid hysteria, that’s what therapists are for

Now I know why you’ve been taken. now I know why you’ve been taken. Now I know why you’ve been taken.

Oh, the symbolism.

Sorry, I don't know what I said, but you're crying now again

Let me do my job

Remind me again how everyone betrayed you

“I'm terrified.”

A choice is facing you, a healthy dose of pain

A choice is facing you as you stare through the rain

A choice is facing you but I choose to refrain for today

[the-magic-lava-lamp]

Ragnarok & Roll

Summary: Thor rolled his eyes. “Of course, I miss you.” He shook his head. “But this is our path. We’re both working really hard right now, chasing our science-y dreams.” He laughed, tongue slightly peeking out of his smile. “And while we’re on the subject...” 

Bruce raised his brow. 

“Maybe listen to the radio station while you’re working.” 

Ships: ThorBruce (mentions of ValJane)

Word Count: 5,010

“Seeing three concerts a week, that’s what got me the gig.” 

Peter Quill smirked in a way that might’ve come across as rude if he wasn’t simultaneously looking blissfully proud of himself. 

Gamora glanced at the back of her boyfriend’s head as she passed by his conversation, headphones slung around her neck. To put his interviewee to wise would mean admitting that Peter only truly got the gig because he was just the best at pestering the project head. She restrained herself from sharing that story because Peter was far to fond of music, in a way she just couldn’t understand, and seemed to be taking this quite seriously.  

“They saw my dedication to good music and made me the main DJ host.” Quill swirled his spinning chair and made a wide gesture to his equipment. “They haven’t regretted the decision since.” His hands cupped the back of his head as he made a care-free shrug. 

The interviewee, Thor Odinson, looked amused as he smiled. “Not even that time you accidentally left while you were still on air?” 

Quill chuckled. “Not so much...regretful. Maybe more...pleasantly surprised that I handled it so well?” He smirked but tilted his gaze in a way that looked incredibly flustered. Thor laughed with him, liking the back-and-forth. “Now, judging by the long hair and all-around...” Quill swirled his finger around his own face. “Hippie look that you’ll be down with our style here. Our ‘Awesome Mix’, if you will.” 

Thor’s eyebrows drew together as another hearty round of laughter escaped him. “I am most pleased with your collective taste.” He gestured towards the two of them. “You and your crew seem to have a lot of fun on air.” 

Thor continued smiling to himself as his eyes drifted around his college’s radio station studio. The room wasn’t particularly small but sort of tight with large posters on the bland walls. The desk was chunky on it’s own but the three large mic stands (which could swing out) didn’t help either. 

Quill looked rather proud at that last sentiment, which Thor took as a good sign. “Yeah we are a fun bunch.” He looked positively joyous and would probably burst if he saw the way Gamora’s sincere smile took over her face. “Why should you be part of our team?” 

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

—CUT—- 

  ~*REC*~

The fuzziness focuses to the warm setting of the space between Thor’s chin and chest. He shook his head and thumped his hand on the side of the bulky camera. There was a few seconds of frizzling sounds before it seemed to beep awake. “Is it on?” His voice was soft and confused, growing even quieter as his head twirled back. He was attempting to glance at his friend behind him, who’s only part in the current shot was his fast-moving hands. 

“Is the red light flickering?” 

The shot wiggled again as he examined the camera and finally looked through the viewfinder. There was able a slightly foggy vision of their small apartment, he moved slightly and it zoomed right in on Bruce’s focused stare.

There was a small pile of what should be parts for their kitchen table in front of him but looking at the mess (and zooming in further)...it looked like junk. “Yes! We are officially recording.” Came Thor’s undeniably joyful voice. 

Bruce peeked up from what looked to be a wooden leg and smiled, bashfully as he pushed his glasses up the slope of his nose. 

The sun was in it’s sweetest spot, hanging just outside their window. The peace of domestic life came with it and bathed them each in bars of golden light that broke through the new blinds. The shot didn’t do it much justice, picking it up in a sort of light-fuzz. 

Stubbornly but patiently Bruce went back to his directions. He threw open the pamphlet and clicked his tongue. The glossy pages easily flipped and flung from his fingers. He smacked a page down, gliding his finger down the spine and landing it on top of the black and white fuzzy photo of the completed piece of furniture. “I have no idea how to turn this-” Bruce waved the table leg around the pile of pieces “Into this.” He held out the photo to Thor & his trusty camera. “Do you honestly think it’s possible?” 

“I don’t know. Let’s ask the audience.” Thor chuckled and turned the shot onto himself with the happiest smile. 

-“So...Loki now or us in like ten years?” Bruce smirked and Thor burst into happy, hearty laughter. The true and genuine affection he so obviously felt from the mention of 10 years in the future was clear on his face. 

“It was my idea first. Loki just gave me the camera.” He shared a observational glance with the equipment. “I want to log our memories, Banner.” He tore his eyes away to put his full attention on Bruce again. “Loki just wants to have footage of me embarrassing myself for future amusement.” 

The shot spun around the room a few times before landing back on Bruce’s crouched position again. The man smiled in that way which suggested he understood the true intentions behind Loki’s gesture. Which...he did. They both did. 

Thor and Loki’s relationship had grown much stronger over the last few years. After dealing with the rough passage of their younger years and struggles with their father, at some point they’d just decided turning on each-other was stupid. 

For years, Loki felt inferior. Which stemmed from the fact that his codependent need to gain his fathers favor was never resolved. That much was obvious to Bruce and at some point, Loki finally explained that all to Thor, who felt awful for being so ignorant despite his own issues. 

So Loki’s memories of growing up weren’t always warm & fuzzy. That’s why Bruce figured his amusement & support of ‘Home-movies’ being made now wasn’t just for the sake of trickery. Maybe that was just a bonus. 

Bruce’s train of thought was seen in the shot but obviously couldn’t all be interrupted correctly just by viewfinder. “It is a nice idea.” Bruce wiggled his body to get comfortable on the hardwood floor. “Considering, I can put them on in the background when we’re away from each-other.” Bitterness was clear in that tone. 

Thor’s voice hummed from behind the camera. As of late, both college students had become swept up in their course-work and spent long hours apart. Bruce was deep into his back-and-forth with biochemistry studies while Thor was in the midst of his astronomy/astrophysics major. It was a bit of a strain on both of them. 

Most frustrating were the few hours Bruce spent down at the lab to study & experiment. Thor didn’t like the idea of his boyfriend rattling around the place by himself, bothered & stressed. Bruce didn’t exactly love it either but the isolation proved to help his focus. 

The camera shot wiggled once more as Thor placed it on the cushion of the lounge chair next to him. An accidentally well-framed scene, with both men in the shot looking incredibly domestic. Bruce still fumbling with the table pieces while Thor glanced at the instructions for himself. 

“The goal is to have it put together by your Birthday.” Bruce shot Thor a smile smile. 

The red light kept flickering away, forgotten until the battery ran itself out, proved worth the extra long footage. Capturing Thor’s wild yet softly earnest grin as he reached out and grabbed for Bruce’s hand, who instinctively squeezed back.  

—CUT—-

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“-Now, these are probably the worst hours to host. Like straight up boring.” Quill smiled as if that wasn’t an odd way to advertise the job. Thor decided he liked the weirdo. “But if I offered you the chance to be the regular Co-host DJ for the 1 to 5 am time-slot on Tuesday & Thursdays you’d say?” He waved his hand out with excitement. 

“Yes.” Thor happily tipped his chin and reached out to shake hands on that deal.

Quill looked surprised but at the same time, beaming with appreciation. Gamora was peeking from over her shoulder as she reorganized some of the records that she was sure Peter would forget to do. 

“Good deal, man!” Quill reached out and swung their grasp up-and-down a few times before leaning back in his chair. “Let’s break this interview for lunch and then we’ll let you have a feel for what the job while be like.” 

: : : : : : : :

“I want to introduce you to the little crew which will accompany you during your shifts.” Quill ran around the hallway as if he owned the place which was a sure sign that he was appreciated by his peers. His grin was hearty and his walk was more like a happy bounce. 

With a sharp turn, he was opening the studio door and slurping down the rest of his soda. The creaky thing swung open and a girl with wavy blonde hair stood up straight from where she’d been previously leaning. 

“That’s Carol Danvers.” Quill pointed and flashed a little finger-gun to her. “She’s the other co-host.” 

Carol shot Thor a tiny, corner grin and waved her hand. She was almost exactly how Thor pictured a college radio DJ would look like. The flannel tied at her waist and tightening her ‘Bob Seger’ concert t-shirt were the perfect attire for an unofficial uniform. “Excited for every insomniac in town to know our names?” She popped her knee out slightly and smirked. 

Thor smiled softly and nodded his head. “Very.” 

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thor! I’m so tired that I might just pass out. This workload is slowly killing me. Good news though, you can save some time and just bury my body under the piles & piles of papers I have to do! ” Bruce started talking, or rambling really, before he even had the apartment door fully open that first Tuesday afternoon. 

Thor frowned softly as he slouched forward. Both of his arms glided across the counter but the right hand was serving as a stand for his phone. Bruce almost thought his boyfriend had given up on the bulky camera to film their home-videos but before he could speak-

“I never knew you to be that dramatic, Bruce.” 

Thor turned the phone around to reveal Loki, in the middle of his makeup routine with a tiny smirk on his face. Bruce registered him and chuckled while he started to put his things all over the small counter (table still in pieces on the floor). 

“Should’ve seen me during my Freshman year of High-School, buddy. To this day, the most use I got out of a purchase was my .99 cent addition of Elton John’s ‘I Think I’m Going to Kill Myself’ to my music library.” Bruce pursed his lips in a joking manner but Thor wasn’t all that fond of thinking of Banner in that way. He reached his free hand under the table and gently pulled Bruce closer, who naturally leaned into it. 

“Good look, by the way-” Bruce tipped his chin towards Loki on screen and cut himself off with a sip of Thor’s water. “Going somewhere special?” 

Bruce and Loki hadn’t gotten off on the best foot, nor the worst foot really, when they were first acquainted. But it had been sort of awkward due to the evolving involvement in each others lives that Thor & Loki were experiencing. 

The brothers were closer than ever these days which Bruce couldn’t be more grateful for. He wasn’t a therapist or anything but he knew just as soon as he & Thor started dating their Senior year of High School; The two of them desperately wanted to bond, even if they had a hard time showing it.  

They had just started to feel more like close siblings when college came into the picture, which sent Thor to New York and Loki to California later. 

Loki flashed an accidental genuine smile. “Thanks.” He mumbled, swiping at his eye. “And no. My roommate is insisting we go out and do something. You remember? I told you about her.” 

Thor nodded. “Yes. You described her as the-...?” He trailed off, looking to Bruce with the cutest thinking face. 

Bruce glanced over from cleaning his glasses. “The weird girl?” He chuckled. “Who you moved in with after a week of knowing her?”

“I thought you said she was closed off? You didn’t know if you got along.” Thor added. 

Loki hummed, tapping a tiny brush against the sink. “Yeah well, I like her now.” He shrugged. “She thought she was a witch when she was a kid and she has Halloween sound effect records from the fifties. And I think she actively listens to them.” Loki pointed his thin brush.

“That’s how I pick my friends.” Bruce chuckled softly. 

“Plus, her brother is also the complete opposite of her.” Loki smirked and picked up his phone to walk carefully through his apartment. “So we have that in common.” He lowered the shot and seemed to loose interest in looking at the screen. “Ok. I’m gonna hang-up soon.” 

Thor chuckled. “Make sure you have your work done before you go out. One time I-”

Loki frowned. “Do you have to try and bond with me while Bruce is listening? It’s embarrassing.” He smirked, obviously uncomfortable. 

Thor just smiled again. “Have fun.” 

“Bye.” Loki put his phone down and hung-up. 

Bruce wrapped his arm around his boyfriend and started rubbing small circles on his back. He set his glasses down on the counter and gently leaned closer to kiss Thor’s warm hair. 

“I love you.” Thor mumbled gently and no matter how many times he’d heard it, Bruce still needed a second to breathe that in. 

“I love you too.” He let his chin rest atop Thor’s head. “Sorry about my long nights at the lab.” He added miserably. “I won’t do it on your Birthday.”

Thor pulled away slightly and eased into their next touch; dragging his hand down Bruce’s arm and grabbing his hand which dangled between their bodies. He met his eye-line and couldn’t hold back an ounce of his adoration of Bruce from bleeding into his stare. “You don’t have to apologize.” 

Bruce didn’t seem entirely too convinced. 

“We’re gonna be in each others lives forever, Banner.” a shrug rolled off his shoulders as if it were just that simple. Life and the great beyond. “I think we can afford sacrificing a few days for the sake of your passion.” Thor raised their grasp and shook it lightly. 

“My mother always said I was a...visionary child, determined too. I had big plans at eight years old.” Thor rolled his lips together. “I have been dreaming of our life together since I met you.” He looked away, sort of bashful. “We’re gonna be just fine.” Another shrug. 

Bruce pursed his lips and might’ve blushed. “That was really cheesy.” He chuckled and admired the way Thor giggled. “But don’t you get lonely...dreaming about that all on your own while I’m up in the lab?” 

Thor rolled his eyes. “Of course, I miss you.” He shook his head. “But this is our path. We’re both working really hard right now, chasing our science-y dreams.” He laughed, tongue slightly peeking out of his smile. 

“And while we’re on the subject...” 

Bruce raised his brow. 

“Maybe listen to the radio station while you’re working.” 

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{ *Faded notes of Zeppelin’s classic; Immigrant Song, as it ends*}  

:

: {*Steady static*}

:

:

: 

: {*Loud Record Scratch*}

Carol playfully smacked her fist onto the table next to the co-host who’d suddenly faded off. 

Thor picked his head up and finally reached over and lifted the record from the player. “Now, I know what you’re thinking.” He smirked as he lowered the microphone closest to him. “Oh no, who’s this guy and what has he done with Quill?” He chuckled warmly & waved his arms about to nobody. 

The tiny buzzing of the neon sign outside the door (reading ‘RECORDING’) bounced in his ears. 

“I’m sure the five people listening are thinking just that.” Carol fiddled with her mic, the blondes shared a quick smirky grin. “I’m Carol and that’s Thor-” Both DJ’s gestured as if people could see them, Thor even waved into the microphone. “We’ll be the hosts for all you nocturnal friends.” 

“Ask me why I took this junk time-slot, Carol.” Thor bumped his new partner’s elbow. 

“Why did you take this time-slot, Thor?” She happily obliged.

“I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly three years now.” Thor spoke with earnest ease that Carol couldn’t help but admire. “He’s incredibly hard-working and dedicated to his studies.” He pulled his mic even closer. 

“But that means he’s off doing his research alone, in a lab into the early hours. I didn’t like for him to be so lonely.” He shook his head, rolling his lips together. “So, because I can’t just stay with him, I thought I could accompany him this way. It just so happened to align with his study days.” 

“We love cute couples!” Carol spun around in her chair. “My girlfriend & I decided to race each-other on the way to the studio.” She slapped her hand over her heart and sighed affectionately. “I cheated and took a short-cut & she still beat me. Now she’s asleep in a spinny chair in the corner even though she bet me five dollars that she wouldn’t be too tired to listen the whole show.” 

Thor glanced at Maria, still asleep with the pair of headphones on. He smiled. 

“I love her so much.” Carol slid her hand off her chest and leaned her elbow on the table. “What song do you want to dedicate to your boyfriend, Thor?” 

Thor paused in thought, hoping that Bruce was listening. He prepared the song to play with an eager yet nervous expression. “This is ‘You Got It’ by Roy Orbison...for Bruce.” 

:

{ *Faded notes of Roy’s intro*}

: : : : : : : :

“I'm glad to give my love to you I know you feel the way I do.

Anything you want, you got it Anything you need, you got it Anything at all, you got it Baby...”

Bruce was alone yet still felt the need to hide his embarrassed grin behind the cupped palm of his hand. 

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce had patiently waited until the morning to say anything about the show, due to the fact that Thor was asleep when he came home & he was too dead tired to wake him. 

When he woke up to find himself alone in bed, he figured Thor was allowing him to sleep in because he knew it to be his free day. 

And though Bruce was still exhausted, he found the energy to roll out of bed and bound to the small kitchen area where his boyfriend was eating eggs & reading through a textbook. 

Instead of initially speaking, Bruce darted past him and gently pushed Thor’s head as he went past him to grab a plate for himself. He could almost feel the heat of the man’s blush. 

“Did you like the show?” Thor leaned so far back that his chin was pointing to the sky in order to watch Bruce go about his morning routine. 

Another smile was hidden, behind a coffee mug this time, as Bruce sipping at the pre-made cup. He slowly glided over (Thor timing the speed in which he lifted his head accordingly) and started running his hands through Thor’s hair. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” 

Thor took that as victory and hummed happily.

“But seriously...” Bruce paused. “I loved it. I love hearing your dumb voice when I’m about to explode from stress. Always calms me down.” He chuckled. “But you really don’t have to keep yourself up on those nights too.” He frowned but felt all bashful again when Thor shook his head. 

“I love making you happy.” Thor shrugged and Bruce shook his head with a smile. “Can we go to that drive-in root-beer place that I’ve been dying to try for dinner?” 

Bruce pursed his lips and glanced at their ‘table’ on the floor. “The one that’s across the street from the abandoned 7/11?” He asked, remembering the time he’d gotten his last Slurpee there with Valkyrie. She had gotten a roller hot-dog and dipped it into her slushie. And he’d nearly fought that worker for dropping the first dog on the floor and trying to shove it back on the tray before they noticed. That place was probably better off closed...

“Yeah. I want one of those Root-beer Floats.” Thor grinned. 

“You don’t want to save the little trip for your Birthday? What’s your schedule like for today again?” Bruce ran his fingers out of the blonde and took a seat next to Thor on the couch. 

“I have my experimental physics class with Heimdall and Jane at three.” He gestured to his textbook. “But that’s all for today.” 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

—CUT—-

 ~*REC*~

-”Oh, I got it! Bruce, look!” The camera shook and got a few glamorous shots of Thor’s bumbling legs as Bruce moved to look through the viewfinder.

“Now what?” Came a voice came from the right. The camera whirled around to get a well framed shot of Valkyrie leaning against a stop sign, holding a forgotten chip up to her mouth.

“This is Valkyrie as she was on this fine Saturday, folks.” Thor narrated, zooming in close on her face. Valkyrie scowled and reached over to playfully slap him, the camera shook and the shot fuzzed a little. 

“Hey! That cost us a pretty penny.” Bruce chuckled and Thor smiled, giving the camera the finger to show he was ok. 

“Charming, isn’t she?” Thor zoomed in once again while Valkyrie’s laughter got louder and louder. The camera turned and shook as Thor’s hand came into the shot. The sound of the pebbles crunching becoming the main sound.

The three of them continued walking down the sidewalk and into town to enjoy some of their free-time. 

Valkyrie strolled slightly behind the boys, making the occasional face at the camera. “I thought the idea was to record family videos? Why are you so desperate to zoom in on me-?” She wrinkled her nose playfully as the sound of the zoom buzzed from the camera. 

“You’re apart of our family!” 

Both boys made offended sounds. The camera captured a cute shot of Bruce turning to bump her arm & Valkyrie bumping him back with authentic joy all while Thor was still trying to explain how important she was. 

She skipped forward and leaned her elbow atop Bruce’s shoulder. “Your radio shows have been really entertaining by the way.” She glanced up at the taller man with amusement. “How’s someone get a song dedicated to her?” She teased. 

Thor smirked. “She could try finally asking out Jane & maybe she’ll call in a dedication for her-” The camera lost it’s focus as Valkyrie tried to whack him again.

which inevitability turned into her chasing him down the sidewalk.

“Woo-hoo! Run Thor!” Bruce shouted from behind them. 

As the chase ended officially, Thor whipped the camera around to get a good shot of Valkyrie but ended up tumbling on his ass. He was laughing so hard, he nearly dropped the camera.

Thor stretched his arm out, allowing Valkyrie to swipe the camera. She raised it, turning it to her own face, Bruce way in the background. “Future me, these two seem to think I’m in it for the long run so I hope you’re still being the glue that holds this group together.”

“Don’t flatter yourself! We all know that’s Heimdall!” Thor shouted from where he was laying in the grass. 

She turned the camera to get a shot of Bruce now charging after them. Once he got close enough, she bent her knees slightly and took on the tiny man’s weight as he jumped on her back like he’d done it a million times. 

With Bruce nervously on her back, she gently tossed the camera to Thor. 

—CUT—-

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{ *Faded notes of rock music*}

: : : : : :

“That was ‘Jukebox Hero’ by Foreigner. Lovingly dedicated to Maria Rambeau, who allowed me to perform that song to her during karaoke night. She’s most likely asleep right now but just know, I’m with you baby.” Carol giggled. 

“If anyone happened to record that moment, please call the number to let me know-” Thor chuckled as Carol thumped her elbow into his side. “Anyway, keep on listening because here comes the start of our AC/DC Rock Block--” Thor prepared the music. “Requested by the great Tony Stark, who never sleeps.” 

As ‘Shoot to Thrill’ faded in, both DJ’s peeled off their headphones and tended to their immediate cravings. Carol went to the tiny coffee machine to brew herself some energy & Thor went to the bathroom. 

When he returned, he plopped back down in his soft chair and took the offered cup of coffee Carol made for him. He was enjoying the slight burn that came down his throat as he drank when three sharp and soft knocks came at the door. 

Thor got up to let the person in & couldn't be happier with the new company. “Banner!” He grabbed his arm and closed the door behind them. 

Bruce slipped in, books to his chest and a soft smile on his face. “Hey. I finished up what I was doing in the lab early so I just came to...see the magic.” He chuckled. “Hi, I’m Bruce.” He politely reached his hand out to shake.

Carol smiled back. “Carol. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

She watched as Thor kneeled down next to the chair Bruce sat in and started up a small-chat. It was endearingly close as the two men where startlingly in sync with their movements. 

Bruce flattened his palm and rested his chin in the small dip of his hand. Thor casually threw an arm around his shoulder and warmed his back as he curled up on the velvety chair. The pile of books poked slightly into his stomach, reminding him that he should probably be sitting up straight. Though he made no move to do so. In fact, he snuggled down further and his eyes followed his boyfriend’s fingers as they played with the top notebook, flipping it open. 

: : : : Bruce ended up falling asleep near the end of the show, glasses slowly slipping down his nose but never falling off. 

                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce Banner set up that lovely camera on the kitchen counter before he entered their bedroom...& hopped directly atop Thor. “Good Morning to you too, Banner!” The blonde rolled over and sat up against the headboard. 

“I made pancakes.” Bruce hopped off the bed and held out his hand (as if Thor needed his help to get up). 

                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

A sleepy looking Thor was the first to enter the shot, following Bruce out into the dark space of their living area. He was rubbing a curled fist into his eye & yawning when the lights suddenly turned on and--

“Surprise!”

The room was suddenly revealed to be filled with their closest friends and Thor nearly jumped clear out of the shot. Bruce looked on with a beaming smile. “Happy Birthday!” He picked up the camera and strolled over to poke his boyfriend’s side. 

The screen fuzzed over as Thor lifted Bruce up with adoration & cleared it’s focus on a closeup of his beard. A few people whistled (Tony Stark’s was perhaps the loudest). 

“Must you do that in public?” 

The sudden (and close) voice of his brother nearly caused Thor to drop Bruce but he’d managed a safe landing. “Brother!” 

Loki shrugged with a smile and Bruce tried to zoom in on the kind expression... 

—CUT—-

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

"-Loki?….Loki?….Loki?!”

“What?!” Loki whipped his head around to look at Thor who was sheepishly sitting on the couch. Loki was leaning against the wall closest to the radio.

“Can you turn it up?”

He rolled his eyes and turned the radio up. It was clear that Jane had the camera, considering for some reason she was the only one with steady hands.

'Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now’ faded in and was met with mixed emotion. Quill wasted no time spinning Gamora and initiating the dancing. Carol & Maria wasted no time either, singing along every once in a while.  

“Somebody dance with me! It’s an emergency!” Jane hopped up and handed the camera off to Loki. He whipped the camera around to view Valkyrie being poked over & over by Bruce. Jane grinned and reached out a hand, wiggling her fingers, waiting for the girl to go uncharacteristically shy and accept the offer. It didn’t take long. 

The camera was handed off to Heimdall, as Loki had no interest in recording.

—CUT—-

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

The shot was grainy and fuzzy but clearly Heimdall didn’t care much. He continued to quietly film everyone. They were all in sitting around making conversation, Nat and Clint leaning on each other and occasionally whispering.

Bruce’s head was in Thor's lap as he was waving around and gesturing while he told some childhood story. Bruce’s legs were in Valkyrie’s lap, who was drumming on them while she listened intently on Thor's story.

Loki jumped in every once in a while to add more to Thor’s rambling & occasionally they’d bicker to everyone’s amusement. 

—CUT—-

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

~*REC*~

The radio was still going but a little softer. That was until the beginning of a song faded after another.

Thor began to happily (and a bit drunkenly) sing along to the Beatles...

 “Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends...”

It didn’t take much longer for all of the guests to be singing their hearts out and dragging each other into shot. They were all passionately singing the lyrics in no time. Falling on top of each other with the biggest smiles on their faces.

Thor spun Bruce under his arm and made a note to play the song on his next show with Carol. 

—CUT—-

                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

A shot of Thor, and everyone trying to squeeze in behind him on the living room floor. 

the camera fades to black.

—CUT—-

[thiswasinevitableid]

70 for sternclay, nsfw please :)

70: you’re planning my best friend’s wedding which we find out the day after you drunkenly hit on me at a bar and I reject you.

“God I hope this guy isn’t a jerk.” Dani plays with her hair as Aubrey fidgets with her phone.

“Hey, if he is, you’ve got me as back-up.” Barclay pats her shoulder reassuringly, “plus, like, you two are the brides. You’re the bosses of the wedding.”

“If we really were the bosses, we wouldn’t be working with a wedding planner in the first place.” Aubrey grumbles. 

There’s a knock on the door and Barclay stands, “I’ll get it, you two finish mentally bracing yourselves.”

He opens the door to find a tall, dark haired man with bright blues and a well-cut suit staring at him. Their expressions morph to shock and recognition at the same instant.

“Hi, hic, big guy, what’s your name?” The man’s blue eyes are noticeable even in the dim light of the bar. 

“Barclay.” He turns on his stool, giving the man a once over that he can’t help but notice. 

“You, hic, here, hic, with anyone?”

“Nope.”

“Want to, hic, be?” 

The man is clearly built under his v-neck t-shirt, and Barclay would dearly love to get a closer look at his ass. Trouble is, his ass is having a hard time staying balanced in that chair. 

“Sorry, blue eyes, not tonight.”

The man slinks away before Barclay can even ask if he wants him to call him a ride. 

“I’m looking for Aubrey Little’s residence?”

“You found it. She and Dani are in here.” He ushers blue-eyes inside, doesn’t envy him the look of suspicion he gets from both women. 

“Good afternoon, Ms. Little and Ms. Coulice, I’m Joseph Stern, and I’m here to help your wedding go off without a hitch.”

“Great. Let’s get this over with. Honey, can you go get the notes AH Dr. Harris Bonkers put that down!” Aubrey dives off the chair, grabbing a phone charger from the jaws of the ten pound white rabbit. 

As one bride opens up her laptop and the other re-cages a disgruntled small mammal, Stern turns to him.

“And, um, how do you know the brides to be?”

“Dani’s been my best friend since middle school, so I’m her man of honor and helping with the wedding planning.”

“I see. Oh, thank you Ms. Coulice.”

“Dani is fine.” Dani returns to her spot in the loveseat while Stern sits down in a nearby chair with her laptop. He reads for several moments without comment, Aubrey trading worried looks wh Barclay and Dani as he does. 

“Are these the specific venues you have in mind, or just examples of the type of location you’d like?”

“Mostly examples.” 

“Got it. Would you mind sending me these files? That way I can have them as reference when I’m looking into possible venues.”

“You’re not gonna, like, try to talk us into the Yacht Club or something?”

Stern looks at Aubrey with a warm, polite smile, “Ms. Little--Aubrey--, your father may have retained me, but my job is to make the wedding as close to what you want as possible. I’m not here to undermine you.”

“O-kay” Aubrey still sounds wary, but she and Dani relax as Stern goes over his planning approach with them and works out a tentative schedule of meetings. When he’s done, Barclay offers to walk him to the door. 

Just as he steps outside, he turns, “I, um, I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention our exchange last night to either of them. Or to Mr. Little. It’s not a habit of mine, I just had a bit too much, um, liquid courage.”

“You got it. Kinda feeling like I dodged a bullet myself.”

“Oh?” A dark eyebrow arches playfully. 

“Rather not sleep with the enemy.”

“Wh-did you miss the part where I said I was here to help them?” 

“Nope, but you and I both know it’s a lie. You’re here because Aubrey’s dad has a bug up his butt about this wedding causing a scandal or not being fancy enough or some bullshit, so he called you in to make sure it stays bland.” He sighs, “Look, Mr. Stern, I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but Dani is like a sister and Aubrey is one of my best friends; I’m here to make sure the wedding is actually what they want.”

Stern pinches the bridge of his nose, “is there anything I can to convince you I’m not trying to make them miserable?”

“Yeah. Quit.”

“Not a chance.” Is the immediate reply. 

“Well, there’s your answer then.” With that, he shuts the door. There’s a frustrated huff on the other side, and then footsteps fading away.

--------------------------------

Stern sighs, checks his appearance in the front window as he waits for Dani or Aubrey to open the door. He’s been working with them two weeks now, and while both women (and Dr Harris Bonkers) have warmed up to him some, Barclay remains polite but distant the times they’ve crossed paths. Lord almighty Stern can’t believe he almost slept with him. 

Yes, the man looks like his wet dreams made flesh and yes, Stern would like to ride him like a show-horse, but what a nightmare it would have made this whole assignment. Even if Barclay’s reasons insult him, he’s glad they’ve settled on keeping their distance.

Maybe this more casual look will help the other man see he’s not some stuffed suit out to ruin his friend’s wedding.

“Oh, you’re early.” Barclay opens the door with his usual pleasant but cool expression.

“No, I’m not. It’s three.” 

“Wait, shit really?” Barclay pulls out his phone as they walk inside, “damn, I must’ve lost track of time when I was cooking. Oh. Uh.” He looks at Stern, apologetic, “and I have a text from Aubrey saying she and Dani had a change of plans and won’t be here until seven.”

“That’s not great, but it’s workable. I can leave and come back.”

“Don’t you live kinda far--uh, huh, she says for us to just test out the menu together and leave her and Dani some for dinner.”

“I guess we can manage tha--why are there ingredients and pots everywhere?”

“Because...I’m…Cooking?” Barclay glances sideways at him. 

“What happened to the entire conversation about caterers? When did they change? What’s-”

“Hold on.” Barclay raises one hand, voice calm and deep, soothing over Stern’s rising worries like waves over hot skin, “think you’re mixed up; we’re trying out the food for the rehearsal dinner today. The one I’m cooking. Not the reception.”

“Oh thank the lord.” Stern slumps forward on the counter, “I thought I was about to have a whole day of calling disgruntled employees to tell them to nevermind about a quote.”

“Nope. Now have a seat, look like you’re gonna pass out on Dani’s floor. You want something to drink? We got water, beer, iced tea…”

“Water’s fine, thank you.” He tracks Barclay through the kitchen as he retrieves a glass from an upper cabinet, shirt riding up to show a patch of a dark, fuzzy belly that Stern instantly wants to feel pressed against him as it’s owner pins him to the nearest flat surface. 

Cooking seems to relax the other man enough that he actually chats with Stern, rather than keeping their conversation focused on the wedding. Stern learns he’s a personal chef and cookbook editor, though his original background was in baking. 

“Okay man, I gotta know” Barclay stirs something cardamom scented over the stove, “what’s with the shirt?”

“It’s from the radio station that first broadcast the story of the Michigan Dogman.”

“The what?”

“The Michigan Dogman, it’s a cryptid, um, nevermind” he curses himself for choosing casual clothes, “it’s niche and nerdy, you don’t want to hear about it.”

“Wrong, now you gotta tell me everything.” Barclay grins at him over his shoulder.

So he does, gradually at first in case Barclay regrets pushing this geekery button and needs to change the conversation, but the other man simply listens, really listens, as he cooks while Stern talks about his journey to the radio station and his talk with the DJ who accidentally started a legend. 

They keep talking as they eat, swapping travel stories and book recommendations, Barclay laughing when Stern shares some of the more ridiculous requests he’s gotten while working as a wedding planner. 

When Aubrey and Dani arrive home, they take one look at him and Barclay, stopped mid-anecdote and smiling at each other, and trade a surprised glance. 

All Stern can think is you and me both.

------------------------------------

The planning goes more smoothly after that night, Barclay beginning to trust Stern more and more. Stern also learns that he trusts Barclay’s judgement , and the other man is invaluable in helping him narrow down options to present to the brides, both of whom are overall pleased with his work.

He’s particularly proud of his find for the wedding venue. The Madonna Inn is perfect, brightly colored and fancy but still just a bit kitschy, like the locations Dani originally showed him. Both brides were overjoyed, which is why all four of them came down for the weekend to make preparations and start scoping out vendors for the food and flowers.  Dani and Aubrey went back up to the city Sunday night, but he and Barclay are staying at the inn the rest of the week, Stern in hopes of having everything scheduled and coordinated and Barclay there in case he needs a second set of eyes (he’s working on a new cookbook and his clients are traveling, so taking the week down the coast is no trouble). 

Today has been a work day, but Stern is taking tomorrow off basically because no one has time to meet with him. So after a late afternoon spent lounging on the beach, the two of them go out for a leisurely dinner. On a whim, Stern lets Barclay select and order his meal for him. He doesn’t mean for it to be flirtatious at first, he just trusts Barclay’s culinary instincts and is tired of making decisions. But one look at Barclay’s face, his widening pupils and sudden blush, tell Stern all he needs to know. 

“You gonna be good and eat whatever I give you?” Barclay murmurs, so low he’s almost inaudible under the clank of silverware and hum of conversation. 

“Of course.” Stern puts on his sweetest smile, shores up his defenses against the self-doubt curling up his spine. He’s not fast enough, and so orders another cocktail. 

Halfway through the meal, he notices Barclay watching him, and another piece clicks into place; the cook keeps eyeing his lips and throat as he eats, often shifts in his chair if Stern makes a delighted noise after a bite. When dessert comes, the accidental sounds are replaced by deliberate ones and he luxuriates as he eats his tiramisu, licking the fork to be sure not a drop of cream is wasted. 

Barclay asks for the check, and two more slices of cake to-go, without ever taking his eyes off of Stern. He’s feeling confident, and a bit wobbly, as Barclay drives them back to the Inn, taking the larger man’s hand and pulling him towards one of the beds before he can even get the lights on.

A large, gentle hand on his shoulder, “no can do, blue eyes.”

“But I, hic, we, hic-” the world goes sideways as Baclay unlinks their hands. 

“Go get some sleep, Joe.”

He changes while Barclay’s in the bathroom, huddles under the covers and faces the window so the other man can’t see him burning top to bottom with shame. 

Things get worse in the morning; he’s awoken by a phone call saying the florist has an open slot to meet with him in an hour and so he throws on the nearest nice clothes and dashes out the door. That meeting is followed by a phone call from Mr. Little who is none to pleased with the location choice and Stern spends forty-five minutes convincing him that the Inn is perfectly tasteful and also it’s what the brides want and that counts for a great deal wouldn’t you agree?

His nerves are firing full-strength when he gets back to the room. Barclay, freshly showered and clothed, looks up at him from the bed where he’s thumbing through Cooks Illustrated, reading glasses perched on his nose. 

“Rough morning?”

“ Yes.”

He shuts the magazine “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about last night?”

“Also no.”

“Well, I do.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You simply aren’t interested in me that way and I’ve made an ass of myself twice by misreading the situation.”

“You’re wrong. You’re my type, blue eyes-”

“Clearly not, since-”

“-When you’re sober.” Barclay sits all the way up, “which is why I wanna know why you only flirt with me when you’re so drunk neither of us can try anything.”

“Because...because approaching people like that makes me nervous. I’m already under enough stress as it, running block for Aubrey and Dani against Mr. Little without getting myself fired, and the thought of trying to flirt, it’s, everything starts going wrong, it will all go wrong and-” the panic is back, his composure leaving him and taking whatever respect Barclay had for him with it. 

“Joe, breathe.”

“Breathing is not the issue here!” 

Barclay stands, face calm, and walks over to him. Instead of stepping in front of him, he circles behind, and a hand rests at the base of Stern’s neck.

“Let’s try that again. Inhale, blue eyes, a nice long one.” 

Stern complies, Barclay’s voice carrying no threats but leaving no room for protest. 

“Breathe out, count to four while you do.”

Stern exhales, nerves diverting energy from panic to desire, Barclays fingers on his skin and dominant baritone in his ear. 

“Good boy. Do it again.”

Stern takes another deep breath, then another, over and over as Barclay leads him to the bed and slips off his jacket, followed by his shoes and socks. 

“That’s it Joe, you’re doing so good.” He sits beside him on the bed, stroking his hair and Stern follows his touch, “what do you need? What helps when this happens?”

“Something to, to focus on, until I calm down. Just not work related or too complicated.”

“Hmmm” a thumb brushes over his lips, then down his chin, “I got a few things in mind, but they’re pretty damn dirty. Should we try something else?”

“No, please, I, I want that, want, want to be good for you like that.”

“Okay blue eyes, we can do that. You gotta promise me you’ll say ‘stop’ if something doesn’t feel good, okay?”

He nods, heart shaking his ribs, and Barclay leans and kisses him once, tenderly, before laying back on the bed, hands resting beneath his head.

“Get my dick out, yeah, there we go, good boy, I want you to use your mouth, can you, OH, ohhhhyeah.” His cock bumps Stern’s cheek as his hips tilt, a response to Stern lapping teasingly at the base. He drags his tongue all the way up the shaft, takes the head into his mouth, doing his damndest to lock eyes with Barclay the whole time. 

“Babe, fuck, that’s it, oh fuck you look good like that, knew you’d look good with my dick in your mouth, been thinking about it since that first night.”

Stern whimpers, hungry for more and pushes his head down. Having Barclay’s cock in his mouth forces him to keep his breathing measured, and so he savors it, senses filling with salt and skin and lingering hints of soap. 

“That’s it babe, nice and slow, we got all day. Long as I get to cum sometime before noon I’m happy.”

Stern rolls his tongue over the tip as he pulls off, switches to kisses and licks as he slowly jerks him off. Occasionally he skates up, nudging Barclay’s shirt with his nose--his hands uninterested in leaving his cock--so he can leave deep, longing kisses across his stomach and hips. Every movement elicits a groan or a sigh, every kiss and suck earns him praise. It’s only when his hands are slick with pre-cum and his own saliva that Barclay bucks his hips more intently, growling when Stern takes him back into his mouth. 

“Shit you’re good at this, not, fuck, not surprised, look like you would be, like all you need is for me to take care of you and you’ll open that fucking perfect mouth whenever I ask FUCK, oh you like that, don’t you babe? Fuck, shit, like the idea of taking what I give you?”

He whines, rubbing his thighs together as Barclay’s cock bumps the back of his mouth.

“You got three seconds to decide how you wanna take this.”

Stern locks eyes with him again, and dips down the barest bit more. Barclay’s hands tangle in his hair as he groans “good boy” and cums, bitter and warm, down Stern’s throat.

His hands flop onto the bed, allowing Stern to sit up. 

“Did...was I good?”

“So fucking good.” Barclay thwacks a hand dramatically onto his forehead to wipe it, “do you want to keep going? Or do you want to stop?”

“I want” Stern presses his hand against his cock, as if this will help rather than make him wetter, “please, can we keep going?”

“Yeah” Barclay sits up, kisses each cheek, “pants and underwear off, leave the shirt and tie.”

By the time Stern is appropriately undressed, Barclay is back on the bed with the to-go box and  a plastic fork. He reclines on the pillows, box on his upper chest, “come straddle me, knees about here” he pats the bed near his waist. Stern scoots up into position, Barclay licking his lips as he does. 

“Good boy. Now, you’re gonna show me how you get off, so I can know just what to do tonight to make you cry into the mattress.”

“Fuck.” Stern gasps, fingers already rapidly stroking his dick.

“Mmmm, look at how slick you are. Think that deserves a reward.” He spears a piece of cake, “open.”

Stern opens his mouth, leaning forward so Barclay can more easily feed him.

“You do like being spoiled. I can work with that.” Barclay rumbles, pleased, when Sterns fingers work frantically after a second bite. 

“Please, Barclay, I want to kiss you, please say I can kiss you.”

“Not until you finish.” 

“The, the cake or myself.”

“Yourself, blue eyes.”

He’s panting now, sweat soaking through his shirt, and slowing his hand and hips to take the bites Barclay offers. When he cums it doubles him over, and as he’s bracing his hands on the headboard, trying not to collapse on his partner, Barclay moves everything aside and cups his face, gently guiding him down to kiss him. They stay like that as Stern slowly explores his mouth, tastes leftover cake and laughs when a coppery beard scratches his neck. And when he begins to drop, breath shallow and fingers shaking, Barclay rolls them onto their sides, holds him close. Tells him over and over that he’s proud of him, that he did so well, that he’s right here and he’ll take care of him, give him whatever he wants. 

“Honestly, breakfast sounds better than anything else right now.” Stern mumbles against his chest. 

“I’ll order us some. You still need me to dom you, or are you ready to start calling the shots again?”

“I don’t call all the shots.” 

“Just most of ‘em. Don’t tell anyone, but I kinda like that about you. You’re good at what you do.” Barclay kisses his forehead. 

“I...I think I’d like to rinse off while you order breakfast.”

Barclay offers one more kiss before they roll out of bed, has Stern’s robe waiting for him when he gets out of the shower and brings him the room service tray as soon as it’s delivered. They lounge together on Stern’s bed, watching the Inn come to life as the afternoon draws near. From here, they can even see the spot where their friends will get married.

“The ceremony is gonna be perfect.”

“As perfect as I can manage, yes.”

“You got a date for it yet?”

“No.” 

“You want one?” Barclay smiles at him, the sunlight making him look as if he stepped out of a daydream and into Stern’s bed. 

“Depends; would that date be you?”

“Yep.” Barclay kisses his shoulder.

“Well then,” Stern grins, tips his chin up for a coffee-flavored kiss, “there’s your answer.’

[brokenbuttonsmusic]

Laura Cantrell: Nashville-born, New York-based, Acclaimed Country Singer-Songwriter & DJ (& Kitty Wells Fanatic)

This post is a near- transcript of the Broken Buttons: Buried Treasure Music podcast (episode 2, side B). Here you’ll find the narration from the segment featuring the pioneering rock band Fanny, along with links, videos, photos and references for the episode.

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Anchor or Mixcloud.

Music blog Stereogum used to have a running feature called “Quit Your Day Job” where they interviewed indie musicians about their current or former jobs. There was one with Marty and Drew from the band Blitzen Trapper. The two discussed being torn about walking away from teaching as their third album, Wild Mountain Nation, was starting to blow up. There was another where the lead singer of War on Drugs detailed some of the disgusting things he had to clean up while working as an apartment property manager. Mostly dead rats and clogged toilet stuff, but he did walk into an apartment that had been converted into a porno set. I remembered this discontinued “musician day job” feature while reading up on my next featured artist and it got me thinking. 

How many professional musicians do you think have a full time day job? How many juggle multiple side gigs and still manage to tour and put out records regularly? How many have really successful careers all while trying to make it as a musician? 

I don’t actually know. I did some research and there aren’t any reliable stats that I could find. There is a lot of anecdotal discussion on the topic. The consensus seems to be that most musicians are not getting by with music as their only, or even their primary source of income. I don’t think anyone is surprised by that. 

One Reddit user said less than 5% of musicians derive all or most of their income from music. He didn’t offer a source or anything, but he seemed very authoritative in his post. And then after a few more Google searches I lost interest and listened to more Laura Cantrell. 

Laura Cantrell’s story is what got me pondering how indie musicians go about juggling making art with the necessity of, you know, making a living to survive. In 2003, after two critically acclaimed albums, including a tour opening for Elvis Costello all across the United States and Europe, Cantrell was at a similar crossroads. Laura had risen to the position of Vice President of Equity Research at Bank of America in New York. Yes, you heard me right. Laura Cantrell was working as a corporate executive and touring with Elvis Costello at the same time. She actively worked on the road during the day and then performed for thousands of people each night.

Before we get further into what led up to this point and what came after, let’s hear a song from Laura Cantrell’s debut album, Not the Tremblin’ Kind. Here’s the title track.

That was Not the Tremblin’ Kind from Laura Cantrell’s first album back in the year 2000.

Laura grew up in Nashville. She played a little bit of piano and sang in the church choir, but did not get into performing music and playing out until her college years. As a teenager she worked at the Country Music Hall of Fame as a tour guide. This job, in addition to the influence of the diverse musical tastes of her parents, sparked an interest in traditional music, particularly classic country. She also became somewhat of an aficionado in this area. 

This love and knowledge of the early days of country music would help differentiate Laura as she honed her sound and selected her songs while developing as a performer down the road. Before that, however, it would make her an excellent college radio DJ and later an even more excellent DJ at WFMU, one of the best and longest running free-form radio stations in the country. Out of the New Jersey/New York area, WFMU is awesome to this day, with a wide array of programming where DJs still get to play whatever they want. 

Laura is my favorite kind of DJ, and the kind that has been dwindling in numbers since the rise of music downloads, which then gave way to streaming and endless algorithms. First off, she’s knows her stuff. She carefully curates each shows, and thoughtfully sequences each set within every episode. She packs in history, context and story to create something that transcends your typical weekend-afternoon-background-radio-soundtrack. I know this show is about under appreciated bands and artists, but Laura Cantrell’s contributions to radio deserve to be heard by more people. You can find her past WFMU shows, called The Radio Thrift Shop, archived on the WFMU website. You can hear her present day on her “States of Country” radio show on the Gimmie Country radio app, or on her SiriusXM George Harrison themed show “Dark House Radio,” on The Beatles station.

This concludes the part of the show where I babble my enthusiastic endorsement of Laura Cantrell’s past and present radio career.

Laura began playing music with others in college at Columbia University. Her jam pals included Andrew Webster, future member of Tsunami Bomb and Mac McCaughan, who would go on to form Superchunk and Portastatic + found Merge Records. The friends would call their band Bricks. A lo-fi, mostly apartment recording projects that played sporadic gigs over the years. 

Here’s the Brick’s song, The Girl with the Carrot Skin.

Living in New York, Laura began playing guitar and writing her own songs. She also plucked some choice classic country finds and incorporated them into her own performance catalog. One day she met a guy named John who asked her to sing on a song that would appear on his band’s next major label release for Elektra. 

That’s The Guitar from They Might Be Giant’s 1992 album, Apollo 18. John Flansburgh asked Laura to sing on that recording. It was the first time Laura recorded in a professional studio. John Flansburgh became a fan of Laura’s music and released her first recorded material as part of his Hello CD of the Month Club, an EP called The Hello Recordings in 1996. 

Let’s hear another Laura Cantrell song. This time one that she wrote with Amy Allison. From Laura Cantrell’s 2014 album, No Way There From Here, this is All the Girls are Complicated. 

That was Laura Cantrell with All the Girls Are Complicated from her last full length release, No Way There From Here. Actually, that was her last full album of new material, but Laura did release an album a few years back of her BBC recordings on John Peel’s radio show. That album is called At the BBC: On Air Performances and Recordings 2000-2005. 

I mentioned earlier that Peel was a big fan. Again, here’s John Peel’s full quote about Laura’s first album, Not the Tremblin’ Kind: "[It is] my favourite record of the last ten years and possibly my life.” Having the endorsement of the legendary English disc jockey was enough to give Cantrell wider exposer throughout the UK. She developed a loyal fanbase through regular appearances on Peel’s show, as well as US and European tours, including the opening slot for Elvis Costello. Which brings us back to Laura’s fork in the road. Before her third album, Laura decided to walk away from the corporate gig. She was excited to focus on music full time, but a little worried about walking away from the security of a successful career she liked and position she was good at.

From a spotlight CNN Business did on Cantrell in 2004:

“For several months until she finally quit, Cantrell balanced her day job with a growing schedule of rehearsals, gigs, recordings and publicity. On the day she appeared on the Conan O'Brien show she was at her desk until lunchtime.”

“And while life as a professional musician is a dream come true, Cantrell still looks back with fondness on more than a decade on Wall Street.”

“‘I came into Wall Street with a very typical kind of stereotype that it was all going to be people just obsessed with money. What I found was that there were just loads of interesting people who were a lot like myself, just doing it as a job and who had lives that were full of other things.’

‘So I miss some of the contact with people I met. Ironically it was a very supportive environment for me as an artist.’”

Laura’s first two albums were released on the the indie label Diesel Only, which was founded by her husband, Jeremey Tepper. Her third album was released by Matador Records, also an indie label, but with an impressive roster that included Liz Phair, Modest Mouse, Pavement and Sleater-Kinney. Released in 2005, Humming By the Flowered Vine continues Cantrell’s classic country sound, but with some evolved production and arrangements. Laura’s mastery as a song selector gets more and more impressive. This album includes a cover of a rare, unreleased Lucinda Williams song form 1975 called, “Letters.” 

In fact, Lucinda Williams herself was thoroughly impressed with Laura’s cover of “Letters.” She attributes the cover to bolstering her confidence to go back through her earlier material and look for her own buried treasures. 

From Blurt Magazine: 

“The inspiration for her journey through the past struck when she heard Laura Cantrell’s version of her song ‘Letters,’ which Williams wrote around 1975 and recorded on a demo but never officially released. Explains Williams, ‘She got a copy from a mutual friend and did a beautiful, really sweet version of it that made me think wow, she brought this early song back to life, maybe I should go back and review some of my old stuff. I’ve got all these tapes of old little songs, but I never thought they were good enough to do anything with.’”

You know you’re an ace at finding under appreciated gems when you surprise Lucinda Williams by helping her discover one of her own songs. Let’s hear Laura Cantrell’s version of Letters.

That was Laura Cantrell with Letters from her 2005 release Humming by the Flowered Vine.

In 2008, Laura returned with an EP called, Trains and Boats and Planes with 9 songs about… trains, and boats and planes. It’s very good and it includes a fun cover of New Order’s Love Vigilantes. 

Throughout this time, Laura continued her radio show. She also started a family and became co-owner and co-operator of Diesel Only Records. 

In this clip from an interview with Face Culture, you can really hear Laura’s passion for country music and its roots. She talks about the importance of country’s influence on rock n’ roll, and how each artist is inspired by something great that came before. 

And Laura continuously pays tribute to the greats that came before through her radio show and on her own records. In 2011, Laura released a tribute to Kitty Wells called “Kitty Wells Dresses: Songs of the Queen of Country Music.” The collection includes nine Kitty Wells covers and one original, the title track, Kitty Wells Dresses.

From the Washington Post:

Here’s Laura talking about the inspiration for the album. 

“Kitty wore very typical stage clothes for women who performed at barn dances and in early country music shows,” says Cantrell, a Nashville-born, New York-based country singer and host of an old-time music show on the legendary radio station WFMU.

“They were these frilly gingham dresses, non-threatening and cutesy. It became this uniform that all the women of the era wore, and I always thought it was a great metaphor for how you can underestimate the strength of the person or the value of the artist underneath.”

That was the song Kitty Wells Dresses from Laura Cantrell’s tribute album of the same name, released in 2011. Wells was the oldest living member of the Country Music Hall of Fame upon its release. She was also the first woman inducted into the hall. Cantrell met and talked to Kitty about her album. She said that Kitty asked which songs were selected and as Laura began calling them out, Kitty would sing each one. 

I’ve mentioned all of Laura’s past and present DJ efforts, all of which I’ll link to on my website, brokenbuttons.com. Laura also continues to release music. She had planned a host of special activities for the 20th anniversary of Not the Tremblin’ Kind, which had to be put on hold due to all things 2020. 

You can contribute to Laura’s IndigGoGo campaign to help fund her new digital singles collection that she’s already started releasing. The plan is to release six singles with an A and a B side, all working with different musicians and producers. I’d recommend the $50 Kitty Wells Dresses Pack, which gets you access to the digital singles as their released, a signed CD copy of both the singles collection and the Kitty Wells Dresses album, as well as a copy of Laura's essay on Kitty and Patsy Cline from the book "Rock and Roll Cage Match: Music's Greatest Rivalries"

Laura Cantrell is the rare performer whose work is deeply rooted in its original source material while still feeling fresh and exciting. Laura’s radio shows can be described the same way. A buried treasure unearthing buried treasure and taking the old and classic and making it new and lasting and so much sweeter. Laura Cantrell.

References and other stuff to check out:

Laura’s Indiegogo campaign for her digital singles series

The Radio Thrift Shop - Laura’s prior radio show. You can stream past episodes and check out her playlists

Gimmie Country, where Laura hosts her current show States of Country. New episodes air 3:00 Monday EST. Laura chats during the show with listeners in the app.

Darkhorse Radio on Sirius XM. Laura’s other show dedicated to George Harrison. New episodes air Thursday at 3:00.

John Peel wiki entry about Laura

TMBG wiki entry about Laura

A Wall Street journal feature on Laura

An NPR feature on Laura

A CNN Business Week feature on Laura

Stereogum archive of the Quit Your Day Job feature

[zen3to5]

J/H 7-23: Take It or Leave It

I suspect some of you reading this rewrite are more interested in what happens in this episode than in the season finale. This was certainly the moment of the show I was most interested in changing, and spent the most time on, once I decided to go past Season 5. I hope you enjoy it.

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   It’s a quiet night in the basement. HYDE sits in his chair, sunglasses off, head bowed in thought over the coffee table. He’s bent far enough over that SCHATZI, sitting on the table, can sniff at his hair. DONNA, sitting on the couch, and ERIC, enjoying a popsicle while standing behind the couch, watch Hyde with great amusement.   ERIC: So, Hyde – it’s Friday night. Weekend’s coming up. The end of another week. Almost the end of the month. The month Jackie said you had to decide whether to marry her or let her go take that TV job in Chicago.   HYDE: (looks up) What’s your point?   ERIC: Oh, no point – I just like throwing that in your face.   Donna chuckles, swats Eric on the arm.   DONNA: Hyde, don’t you think it’s a little cruel to make Jackie sweat it out all month? I mean, shouldn’t you just get it over with?   HYDE: Get what over with?   DONNA: Well, you’re gonna say “no” to marrying her, right? Unless...   She and Eric gasp together. Eric drops his now-empty popsicle stick, and Donna’s right hand goes over her mouth while her left hand grips Hyde’s arm.   DONNA (cont’d): Oh, my God, you’re thinking of saying “yes!”   ERIC: Oh, my God. You want to marry her.   DONNA: (mocking) You want to marry her because you love her.   ERIC: (doing Hyde, to Donna) “Jackie, you’re everything this poor little orphan boy ever needed.”   DONNA: (doing Jackie, to Eric) “Oh, my God, I really am!”   HYDE: Would you two shut up? I don’t know yet, okay? And, if I say “yes,” it isn’t because I love her. Love is a concept cooked up by Madison Avenue to sell to losers who’re too afraid to be alone.   ERIC: Uh, no, you’re thinking of kittens.   He exits up the stairs.   Hyde sighs, sets Schatzi down on the floor and starts fidgeting with his eyeball ring. Donna slides down the couch, closer to Hyde’s chair.   DONNA: You really don’t know what you’re gonna tell her, do you? What, you’re not sure if you want to wake up every morning to – (doing Jackie) “Steven, we need new patio furniture! Steven, I need $200! Steven, don’t forget the PTA meeting!”   She laughs; Hyde scowls.   DONNA (cont’d): (serious) Or are you not sure she should stay here?   HYDE: (sighs) Look, remember when Red got sick, and Forman had to stay home but you were still gonna go to college, and he didn’t ask you to stay? And then when you were gonna get married, and he didn’t show up? He didn’t not do those things because he didn’t want to be with you. He just didn’t want to see you give up on your dreams and ruin your life. He let you do that on your own.   DONNA: What do you mean? I didn’t ruin my life. Radio DJ was the kind of job I was gonna go to college for, and I got that job anyway, so I didn’t need to go. I mean, okay, I thought I would travel more – or at all. I thought I’d get to do more of the writing. Point Place doesn’t get the biggest acts anymore. My boss is a skeevy perv. And I only stayed for Eric, and now he's going away, so...   She frowns, looks off in thought. From the corner of her eye, she notices Hyde staring at her.   DONNA (cont’d): Hey, this isn’t about me! This is about you and your loud-mouthed girlfriend, and if you don’t give her an answer, she’s gonna flood every station in the area with non-stop ABBA requests until you do!   She sits back in a huff, arms crossed. Hyde sighs and bends down to scratch Schatzi’s ears.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - DAY   Breakfast with friends, invited or otherwise. FEZ and KELSO sit at the kitchen table, each with a plate of bacon, eggs, and sausages. Eric stands across from them, between the table and the stove. A sheet of paper is in his hand; his practice teaching notes. He pays them an occasional glance as he tries out a lecture on Fez and Kelso while they eat.   ERIC: “And so the baby, safely nestled in a tiny craft, is sent to safety, and is found by a loving couple who raise him as their own until, one day, when that baby is fully grown, he learns the truth about his identity – and his destiny. Now, you may be thinking, ‘that’s the story of Moses.’ But what if I told you that it’s also the story of... Superman.”   Kelso’s jaw drops and Fez’s eyes bulge.   KELSO: Whoa.   He stabs at some eggs with his fork and, without looking away from Eric, lifts them up to Fez’s mouth. Fez takes the bite and does the same thing with a sausage for Kelso.   KELSO (cont’d): (with mouth full) If church had talked more about Superman, I might’ve paid more attention when Moses was knocking down the walls of Bethlehem to save Noah from the Trojan horse.   ERIC: Pretty great, huh? And UW wants to expand the class’s appeal to ladies, so I’m working on a whole series of lectures about female empowerment in Wonder Woman.   FEZ: She can empower me right into the bedroom, if you know what I mean.   KELSO: You know what I always thought would be great? If you did it with Wonder Woman, but she kept her bracelets on the whole time. And then, if she brought the lasso of truth, she could get freaky with the lasso, and then... other stuff could happen.   Fez nods approvingly.   FEZ: Do you think the lasso would work on I Dream of Jeannie? Or would the genie magic grant her immunity?   KELSO: Did you just suggest a Wonder Woman and Jeannie three-way?   FEZ: Or Samantha from Bewitched.   KELSO: Or Wonder Woman, Jeannie, and Samantha from Bewitched!   He and Fez share excited gasps and dopey grins. Eric looks between them, eyebrows raised.   ERIC: Okay, guys – do me a favor and never visit me at UW when classes are in session.   RED and KITTY enter from the living room. Red gives Eric a contemptuous once-over.   RED: (to Eric) Well, well. If it isn’t the University of Wisconsin’s newest teacher. A lazy smart mouth who just wasted a year of his life sitting around in my basement, and who wasted most of the other seventeen years also sitting around in my basement.   ERIC: “Lazy?” I’ve spent all day, every day since I signed up for the pilot teaching program putting together lectures, reading lists, lesson plans – I even picked out Star Wars curtains for the classroom!   RED: Well, isn’t that great – you’ve finally come around to making some use of your time, and you spend it plotting out how you’re going to “teach” a lot of useless crap.   Kitty tuts, swats Red’s arm, and pushes past him to Eric.   KITTY: No, no. Honey, we are so proud of you for finding a way to pay for college and get started on your career. In Madison. The big city. Where there are concerts and restaurants and laundromats and you’ll never have a reason to come home to your mother. (sniffs) Who I guess will just stay here and die.   Lip quivering, she turns away and tends to a plate of bacon remaining on the stove.   RED: (to Eric) Teaching a pilot class that nobody can make any practical use of and making your mother cry. I guess that’s all in a day’s work for Professor Dumbass.   ERIC: Okay, you know what, Dad? I don’t have to take this anymore. Because I did exactly what you wanted me to do. You wanted me to pick a career – I picked one. You wanted me to go to college – I’m going. I even found a way to pay for it on my own. And you’ve just been a jerk about all of it. But I’m out of here at the end of the month, and until then, we’re done.   He gathers his notes and exits out the patio door.   Kitty crosses to Red, smacks him on the arm again.   RED: Ow! That one hurt!   KITTY: Serves you right. Eric’s right, Red. Would it kill you to show your son a little pride and support?   RED: For what? It’s not like he’s gonna be teaching anything useful.   KITTY: You think the only “useful” things are the things they taught you in the war! How many times since Korea have you had to fix a bayonet onto anything?   KELSO: (to Red) You know what? I bet the reason you’re being so mean to Eric is ‘cause you’re sad he’s gonna be gone, but you don’t wanna admit it.   FEZ: (to Red) Aww... someone is feeling the empty nest.   They both snicker.   RED: No, but I’m feeling like your asses are empty. And I’m about to fill them with my foot.   He gives the boys a cold stare. The grins fall from their faces. They jump to their feet and race out the patio door.   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick.   INT. RADIO STATION - DAY   WFPP control room, early afternoon. “I Want You to Want Me” continues; it’s playing on-air. Donna sits at the control panel. JACKIE is with her, in a spare seat she has rolled back against the wall.   Donna turns off her mic, takes off her headphones, and turns to talk to Jackie.   DONNA:  I don’t know, Jackie. I mean, what if Hyde’s right? What if I’ve wasted a whole year of my life, just like Eric? And now he’s going to college and I’m gonna be stuck here in this dinky town, trying to get good music in between farm reports and ads for Benny’s Bodacious Bods Gym.   JACKIE:  Okay, Donna? No offense, but the only words of Steven’s I’m interested in right now are “yes, Jackie, I will marry you.” (sighs) God, why did I open up my heart to him?   DONNA: Yeah, I was a little surprised. I thought for sure you’d just try to manipulate him. I mean, the bitchy stuff is your bread and butter.   JACKIE: You know, I had fake pregnancy right up my sleeve, and I didn’t use it. Now I’m the vulnerable one, waiting for his answer.   DONNA: Well, Jackie, you did give him until the end of the month.   JACKIE: Which is almost here. Look, I thought, “if I really put myself out there, he’ll see how much I love him and say ‘yes’ right away.” And when he didn’t, I thought, “okay, well, maybe he’ll take a couple of hours or a couple of days and then say ‘yes.’” But now I think he’s only taking so long ‘cause he’s gonna say “no.”   She puts a hand to her face and turns away. Donna stands, crosses to her, and pats her back.   The control room door opens, and MAX enters with a stack of records. His long absence hasn’t changed his sense of style or scruffy facial hair. The girls don’t notice him at first, or he them; he crosses the room, sets the records down, and only on turning around does he see Donna and Jackie.   MAX: Donna?   Donna looks up, sees Max. She smiles and crosses to give him a hug.   DONNA: Max? Oh, my God! Where have you been? No one’s seen you since the Steve Miller Band concert.   MAX: Well, after I did the interview with Stevie, I bumped into someone from security. Knocked the drink tray he was carrying out of his hands. He said “wassa matter, you on dope?” And then one thing led to another, and... well, I’m back now. But I’m surprised you’re still here. Weren’t you and your boyfriend going to UW together?   DONNA: Oh, well... you know. Some things happened. (beat) Hey – how did you end up working at WFPP? I mean, was a small town radio station where you thought you’d end up?   MAX: Oh, no. No, I had my wild years, following the tour buses, traveling with talent I managed, living and covering the music scene from New York to L.A. Eventually, you get tired and want to settle down. And it’s a good thing we have going here.   DONNA: But you had your wild years first?   MAX: (nods) And that’s a good thing too.   He gives her a small smile, and Donna smiles back.   Their moment is interrupted by the arrival of the diminutive MR. RANDALL, as stodgy as ever. He knocks on the doorframe to claim attention.   MR. RANDALL: Max! What have I told you about leaving your music recommendations on my desk? You do it again and you’re out of here. For the last time, that Huey Lewis and the News group isn’t going anywhere!   He storms out.   MAX: (to Donna) Of course, not everything about this place is a good thing.   He grunts and exits.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY   Later in the afternoon. Kitty sits at the kitchen table, enjoying a cup of tea while she reads the newspaper.   Red enters from the basement, a box loaded with old toys, games, and posters in his arms. One G.I. JOE sticks out prominently from the load, as does a CANDYLAND BOX. He sets it down on the island, and the sound draws Kitty’s attention.   KITTY: (points at box) What have you got there?   RED: Nothing much. Just a few of Eric’s old things.   KITTY: (stands) Oh-ho! Seems like Michael was right after all. Seems like someone’s upset that his only son is leaving us in a few weeks and went looking for a few of this baby boy’s things to remember him by.   She chuckles, raps the table with her knuckles, and folds her arms, very smug.   RED: No, Kitty. I’m hauling some busted parts from the muffler shop to the dump later, and I figured I’d get rid of some of Eric’s old crap while I’m at it.   Kitty’s face drops like a rock.   KITTY: How can one man be so completely devoid of sensitivity?   RED: Easy. It was blown off by shrapnel on Okinawa.   Red picks the box back up and exits into the living room.   CUT TO:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   Overlapping with the end of the previous scene. The Vista Cruiser idles in the driveway. Eric and Hyde are seated in the patio chairs. Eric looks through the patio door into the kitchen, watching Red leave, while Hyde leans back and relentlessly taps his foot and fidgets with his eyeball ring.   ERIC: Man, can you believe Red’s being such a hard ass about this pilot teaching program?   Hyde gives Eric a look.   ERIC (cont’d): What?   HYDE: You’re gonna be teaching nerd books and Scooby-Doo to college kids and you’re surprised Red Forman’s making fun of you? Man, how is it that I’m the long-term guest in your house, and you’re the one who doesn’t get your dad? That’s like Han Solo knowing better than Luke Skywalker about Uncle Owen being a hard ass about the moisture farm.   Eric breaks into a dopey grin.   ERIC: Hey – did you just -   HYDE: Don’t get weird on me, Forman. I’ve gotta plan out my whole life before the end of the month and I’ve gone through my whole stash.   ERIC: Man, why is this such a big deal? I mean, Jackie’s basically letting you off the hook. It’s like the greatest going away gift ever – never having to see or hear Jackie Burkhart again.   HYDE: Oh yeah, it’s the perfect gift. It’s free, she didn’t have to wrap it, and it makes me wish I was dead. (sighs) Screw it. I’m not getting anywhere just sitting here. There’s only one place a man can turn before making a huge decision like this.   ERIC: Dive bar?   HYDE: Dive bar. You drive.   They stand, clap each other on the back, and head for the Vista Cruiser.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   INT. DIVE BAR - EVENING   A dive so din, dark, and dank that even Bud Hyde wouldn’t tend that bar. A small, disreputable looking lot populate the place, which boasts a dart board, pool table, and a few short round tables, all occupied.   Eric and Hyde enter and immediately make for two open bar stools. Eric sits to Hyde’s left; a TRUCKER is already seated to his right. He doesn’t acknowledge the boys, and they don’t acknowledge him. Eric signals the BARTENDER for two beers.   ERIC: Man, Hyde, look at us. I’ve got my future in college to prepare for, you’ve gotta decide what to do about Jackie, and yet – here we are, about to get so drunk it’ll be a miracle if we can make it home with us and the Vista Cruiser all in one piece. (beat) I’m gonna miss this.   The bartender places two bottles of beer in front of the boys.   HYDE: (to Eric) You know, if anybody responsible we know was here, they’d tell me I’m not gonna find the answer to my problems with Jackie at the bottom of this beer. But you never know until you look.   ERIC: And, if it’s not in that one, it could always be in the next.   They pick up their bottles, clink them together, and take a big swill before slamming them back down on the counter. Slow push-in on Hyde’s bottle, and we begin:   MONTAGE. SET TO “YOU REALLY GOT ME” BY THE KINKS.   A) Hyde’s one bottle is now two. Slow pull out as Hyde, now tipsy, lifts up the second bottle, takes a swallow, and leans against a still-sober Eric.   HYDE: Okay – I made up my mind about Jackie. I’m gonna marry her! I’m gonna be Mrs. Jackie Hyde!   He takes another swig of beer and slams the bottle down. Push-in on the bottles, and cut to:   B) The two bottles are now four. Pull out as Hyde, now properly drunk, swings one of the bottles around as he spins his stool to face Eric.   HYDE (cont’d): How dare she give me an ultimatum! This is my life she’s messing with! She can go to Hell! I will see her in Hell!   He throws his head back, empties the beer bottle down his throat, and slams it back on the counter. Push-in on the bottles, and cut to:   C) The four are now seven. Pull out to find an off-balance Hyde and a now-drunk Eric with their arms around each others’ shoulders.   HYDE (cont’d): What the hell’s so great about Chicago anyway? And you’re getting out of here, Donna won’t stay here forever – what am I supposed to do? Spend the rest of my life in that basement, babysitting Tweedledee and Tweedletard? No way she’s leaving me alone with that!   He and Eric both swoop up their bottles, take a drink, and slam them down. Push-in on Hyde’s bottles, and cut to:   D) Seven is now ten. Pull out as Hyde pounds a fist down against the counter.   HYDE (cont’d): What the hell is she thinking, wanting to stay around here? This is her life she’s throwing away! (to Eric) Would you stick around here for a burnout living in your parents’ basement? No! No, you wouldn’t! No way I’m letting her do that!   He grabs a bottle, takes a swig, and finds it empty. He tosses the bottle over his shoulder and signals the bartender for one more. Push-in on the remaining bottles, and cut to:   E) Extreme close-up on Hyde’s loose, slack-jawed, spacey-eyed face. He’s well-loaded at this point.   HYDE (cont’d): You know what, Forman? I’m a little confused. But I do know that I love you, man. I really, really do.   He leans to his right, and we pan with him as he puts an arm around the trucker and kisses him on the cheek. The trucker shoots him an evil eye, and Hyde leans back slightly.   HYDE (cont’d): Hey, where’d Forman go?   Pan to the left as Eric, now well off-balance, leans in and taps Hyde on the shoulder.   ERIC: Still on your left, buddy.   Pan right as Hyde looks back to the trucker and offers a sheepish grin of apology. The trucker responds with a punch to the face. Hyde just manages to keep his balance long enough to throw himself back at the trucker and tackle him to the floor and out of frame.   Eric spins around for a better view of the fight. He’s slack-jawed and glassy-eyed himself, but still with it enough to pump a fist and cheer Hyde on.   ERIC (cont’d): Whoa, Hyde! You – you get ‘em, man! You got ‘em! You got ‘em! You... you really don’t got him. Wow. This is not good.   He looks all around the room; no one’s coming to help. Eric sighs and picks up his bottle.   ERIC (cont’d): Well, I had a future all planned out. There are worse ways to go.   He takes a swig, slams the bottle down, and leaps into the fray.   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: “You Really Got Me” continues.   INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT   THE CIRCLE – or a half-circle, at least. Donna sits at the control panel, headphones on – she’s in Hot Donna mode. She sits to the left of the microphone, and Jackie, also with headphones, sits to the right. A diffuse cloud of smoke fills the control room. A stick of incense, propped in a bowl set under the mic, burns softly.   “You Really Got Me” wraps up. Donna flips on the microphone and leads in.   DONNA: This is WFPP, and you’re listening to Hot Donna. (plays bacon noise) That was “You Really Got Me” by the Kinks, requested by Jackie Burkhart.   Pan across the microphone stand to Jackie, who waves at the microphone as if it were a camera.   Pan to Donna.   DONNA (cont’d): Jackie, you’ve been here in the studio with us for about four hours now. You got anything you’d like to say to the listeners at home?   Pan to Jackie.   JACKIE: Yeah, there’s something I don’t get – why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore? That’s a terrible location for a seashell stand!   Pan to Donna.   DONNA: You know, you’re right. I mean, if she wanted to make money, she would sell seashells by the subway.   Pan to Jackie.   JACKIE: You know what she should sell by the seashore? Shoeshines. ‘Cause your sandals get so sandy.   Pan to Donna.   DONNA: Sandy sandals... we should start a girl band called Sandy Sandals. (into mic) That’s right, Point Place – you may have just heard the launch of Hot Donna and the Sandy Sandals.   She and Jackie both giggle. But it doesn’t last for Jackie; pan to her, we see her face fall as she blinks away the beginning of tears.   Pan to Donna.   DONNA (cont’d): Jackie, what’s wrong?   Pan to Jackie.   JACKIE: Well, sand reminds me of dirt, and dirt reminds me of Steven.   She puts a hand over her eyes. Donna’s hand reaches over to rub her back.   Pan to Donna.   DONNA: For those of you just joining us, Jackie has been requesting songs from the mix tape she made her boyfriend, Steven Hyde, who she’s waiting on a very important answer from. Hyde, if you’re listening, Jackie is down here at the station with me. So if you’re listening – get over here, give her an answer, and get her out of my studio.   Jackie’s hand reaches over to shove Donna, but Jackie’s laugh rings out. Donna smiles, laughs, and shoves back. They get into a playful tussle.   Cut wide – the Circle is broken. Mr. Randall and Max enter the recording room. Max looks bemused, Mr. Randall horrified.   MR. RANDALL: What the hell is going on here?   The girls break apart. Max sniffs the air, waves away some of the smoke around his face.   MAX: Donna, did you get into the stuff I hid in the Hendrix sleeve?   Mr. Randall turns on Max, aghast.   MAX (cont’d): I mean – what’s that smell?   Mr. Randall clearly doesn’t believe that, but he lets it go, turning on Donna instead.   MR. RANDALL: (points to Jackie) Donna, what is this little twerp doing in the recording room?   Jackie gasps, jumps to her feet.   JACKIE: “Little twerp?” Excuse me? I’m Jackie Burkhart! I’m on TV! That’s twice as good as radio – that’s just science!   MR. RANDALL: (to Donna) Get her out of here.   DONNA: No! Mr. Randall, Jackie’s my friend. She’s having a hard time right now, and we’re working through it together – live, on-air. It’s a new format for Hot Donna – lovers’ tolls and rock n’ roll.   Jackie nods. Max chuckles, but Mr. Randall is not amused.   MR. RANDALL: The only format gimmicks I want are the ones we can sell with billboards of blondes in halter tops. Now if you want a long-term career at my station, you’re gonna stick to the regular format. The princess of Munckinland can cry somewhere else.   Jackie takes a step back in shock. Max, behind Mr. Randall’s back, gives him a dirty look.   Donna looks from Mr. Randall to Jackie, to her microphone and all around the studio. She takes her headphones off, stands, and crosses to Mr. Randall.   DONNA: You know what, Mr. Randall? I don’t want a long-term job here. In fact, I don’t want any kind of job here anymore.   Mr. Randall frowns, tilts his head; he doesn’t understand. But Max gives Donna an approving nod, and so does Jackie.   Donna smiles at them both and races back to the microphone.   DONNA (cont’d): You hear that, listeners? This is Hot Donna’s last broadcast on WFPP, thanks to scum-sucking Mr. Randall, who you should feel free to protest. But you can still find me on the student radio at UW, where I’ll be attending this fall with my student teacher boyfriend. He’s pretty scrawny, so if you see any football players coming for him, help him get away.   Jackie races over to the microphone.   JACKIE: And make sure to tune in to next week’s Jackie on Point Place Public Access! It may be our final show – it all depends on the answer my boyfriend gives me! Ya hear that, Steven!   She and Donna grin. Donna puts an arm around Jackie’s shoulders.   DONNA: And if that boyfriend says “no,” then Hot Donna and the Sandy Sandals get a van and spend the summer touring America!   She flips on the next song – “Lovin’ Touchin’, Squeezin’” by Journey. Mr. Randall throws his hands up and exits, while Max nods approvingly again and crosses to join the girls as they sway to the music.   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’” continues.   INT. FORMAN GARAGE - NIGHT   The garage is in relatively tidy shape. Red’s Toyota rests comfortably in the center, and a large tarp is draped over an indistinguishable shape.   Red stands at his work station. His back obscures whatever he’s working on as Kitty enters with a jar of preserves and sees Red.   KITTY: What’ve you got there, Red? More of our only son’s favorite toys? What, the dump was too far, so you’re just gonna go at ‘em with a ball pin hammer?   Red gives a little jump; he didn’t hear Kitty come in. He turns to face her, still shielding his project.   RED: Um...   The garage door ratchets up, and Eric enters. His shirt is torn, his eye is black, and his hair is ruffled, but he’s never looked more alive. His parents have never looked more shocked at his appearance, either. Eric relishes in their reaction for a second, then points at Red.   ERIC: That’s right, Dad. It’s your son. “Professor Dumbass.” Guess what? I was at a bar. I was in a bar fight. And I WON a bar fight! Yeah, Eric Forman and Steven Hyde got in a bar fight, and I’m the one who saved his ass! With moves I learned from – guess where – Batman, Luke Skywalker, and Hong Kong Phooey!   He strikes a karate stance and does a few air chops.   Red and Kitty turn in toward each other to share a look. As Red turns, Eric gets a look at what’s on the workbench.   ERIC (cont’d): Dad, is that my old G.I. Joe?   Red tries to move back in front of the bench, but too late – Kitty pulls the box of Eric’s things from earlier into her arms and goes through it. Except for the Candyland box, everything’s still there.   KITTY: Red, these are Eric’s things you had earlier in the day. Are you keeping them with you in your workplace here?   Eric takes a step toward Red.   ERIC: Dad – you’re gonna miss me, aren’t you?   He and Kitty both smile at Red, who looks like a caged squirrel. He squirms as he looks back and forth, from his son to his wife, until he finally straightens up and clears his throat.   RED: Yeah, well... (to Eric) If you’re back home more than once a month, I’m throwing all this crap on the grill.   He turns back to his workbench.   ERIC: (softly) I’m gonna miss you too, Dad.   A slight relaxing of the shoulders lets Eric know Red heard him.   Kitty steps around Red toward Eric.   KITTY: Honey, did you say you saved Steven from a bar fight?   ERIC: Sure did, Mom.   KITTY: You? Saved Steven?   ERIC: Yeah. He’s in the Vista Cruiser, trying to put his shades back together.   KITTY: Are you sure? Maybe – maybe you drank so much, you – you got a little turned around.   ERIC: Okay, I’m feeling really good about myself, so I’m just gonna leave before anyone says any... not good things, and go find Donna. But first – I may have saved Hyde from the bar, but now I’ve gotta take him to face a fate worse than death – an ultimatum from Jackie.   A gasp from under the tarp startles everyone. Fez and Kelso stick their heads out from under it, with matching eager faces.   KELSO: You think she’ll kick him in the nads this time?   The Formans all glare down at them.   RED: What the hell are you two doing in my garage?   He rips the tarp away. The Candyland game is set up between Kelso and Fez, with small piles of M&Ms by both boys’ knees.   Kelso and Fez look down at the game. They look up at a fuming Red. They scramble to their feet and bolt from the garage. Fez turns around, slides back to the board, gathers up the candy, and flees again.   CUT TO:   INT. PINCIOTTI LIVING ROOM - NIGHT   The girls are home. They share the couch. Jackie, looking much less happy, is curled up on one end with a bowl of popcorn, while Donna sits at the other end. Some instrumental rock plays on the radio.   JACKIE: Oh, my God. He’s gonna say “no.” Steven is gonna say “no,” Donna. I know he’s gonna say “no.”   DONNA: Jackie, you gave Hyde ‘til the end of the month. He’s still got time, and I’m sure he’ll do the right thing. Marriage is just a big step, and you know Hyde always waits until the last minute to do unpleasant but necessary things.   Jackie tosses a handful of popcorn at Donna, who silently laughs and waves it away.   Eric enters, head held high.   ERIC: (to Donna) Hey there, toots.   Donna looks up, sees Eric. She smiles and crosses to him.   DONNA: Eric, I have great news! I quit my job!   ERIC: Wow! (beat) Why?   DONNA: I’m gonna go to UW with you. I’m enrolling in the journalism college and working at the student radio station. We can get an apartment, and we’ll finally be together.   ERIC: Donna, that’s so great.   He and Donna embrace and kiss. It’s only when they pull apart that Donna notices the state Eric’s in.   DONNA: Oh, my God. What happened to you?   ERIC: I won a bar fight.   DONNA: (beat) Okay, no, really.   ERIC: Well, if that’s how you feel, I’ll just go have sex with someone who’ll believe me.   He takes a mock step toward the hallway. Donna, grinning, pulls him back. They embrace and kiss again, but Eric pulls back.   ERIC (cont’d): One second.   He looks around Donna to Jackie.   ERIC (cont’d): Hey, Jackie? I got something for you.   He gestures to the doorway into the hall; no one is there. Eric steps into the hall, looks around, and then down at something to the left.   ERIC (cont’d): Oh, here it is.   He bends down and hauls something up. He drags it into the living room – “it” is Hyde, his shades crooked and his lip busted. Hyde finds his footing and shoves Eric away.   HYDE: All right, all right! You’ve done enough, Forman. And I could’ve handled that fight myself. I just needed that guy to be shorter. And drunker.   Jackie stands.   JACKIE: Steven?   Hyde looks up; he’s just noticed Jackie is there.   HYDE: Hey.   An uncomfortable silence settles into the room. Eric and Donna back up to the far wall as Jackie and Hyde meet in the center, a few feet apart. “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John comes on over the radio.   HYDE: (beat) So – month’s almost over.   JACKIE: Yes. (beat) Do you have something to say?   HYDE: Yeah. Do you have a place to live in Chicago yet?   A bolt of hurt crosses Jackie’s face. Her eyes turn glassy as she clutches at her chest. Eric shakes his head and Donna looks away.   JACKIE: (voice shaking) Yes.   HYDE: Good.   Jackie bows her head; she’s already started to cry.   HYDE (cont’d): Is it in Chicago, or out in the suburbs around Chicago? ‘Cause big cities are full of connections, but if we’re in the suburbs, that might be a problem. I don’t want to have to look too hard or drive too far.   Jackie, Eric, and Donna are all speechless. None of them knows exactly where Hyde’s going with this.   JACKIE: Steven, what are you saying?   HYDE: What, man? I’m saying – forget this ultimatum crap. You wanna go to Chicago? Let’s go to Chicago.   Eric and Donna’s jaws drop. Jackie’s does too. She wipes her eyes and reaches a hand out but stops short of touching Hyde.   JACKIE: Wait – Steven, are you saying you’d want to come with me? (he shrugs) But – but what about your job? Your future –   HYDE: Jackie, before the Formans took me in, the only “future” I saw was hopping between stints in prison and abusing squatter’s rights so I could say I wasn’t technically homeless. I never saw a future. I just took what came along. I still don’t have a plan for the future, except... except you. And, since you do see a future, and it’s in Chicago... I want to be with you.   He takes his shades off and tosses them on the couch. With a deep breath, he pulls his eyeball ring off his pinky and holds it out to Jackie, who gasps quietly and takes a step back.   HYDE (cont’d): I love you, Jackie. Marry me?   Jackie stares at the ring. Eric and Donna lean in, eager for more. Jackie looks up at Hyde’s face.   JACKIE: Your eye ring?   Her tone is hard to read. Hyde stirs.   HYDE: Look, I know it’s not a diamond or anything, but it’s the only ring I got, and –   Jackie throws her arms around Hyde’s neck and pulls him into a deep kiss. When it ends, they’re both out of breath.   HYDE (cont’d): (beat) So that’s a yes?   The tears are back in Jackie’s eyes, but they come with a smile, the brightest smile Jackie’s ever had.   JACKIE: Yes.   Hyde gives a relieved sigh; he’s smiling too. He slips his ring onto Jackie’s ring finger and takes her hand in his. A glassy look comes to his eyes – something not missed by a beaming Donna and Eric.   DONNA: (points at Hyde) Oh, my God. Tears. Tears of joy.   ERIC: (sniffs) She really is everything our little orphan boy needed.   Hyde and Jackie both give half-laughs, half-sobs.   HYDE & JACKIE: Get bent.   Even with that sentiment, Hyde opens his arms as Donna and Eric cross to hug him and Jackie in turn. They quietly slip out of the living room as Hyde and Jackie embrace again. Hyde wipes away Jackie’s tears and she plays with the ring. It’s too big for her finger; she doesn’t care. They kiss as the music swells beyond the radio to fill the scene.   ELTON JOHN (v.o.): Hold me closer, tiny dancer Count the headlights on the highway Lay me down in sheets of linen You had a busy day today...   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. FORMAN GARAGE - NIGHT   Fez and Kelso, back at their game. The lights are all out and the tarp is gone; they sit on the ground in the dark, playing by the light of a flashlight Kelso shines down on the board.   RED (v.o.): I’m coming into the garage.   The boys jump up. Kelso shuts off the light. The screen goes black. We hear frantic footsteps and a loud crash.   FEZ (v.o.): Ai!   END.

[musehelping]

hello, friends !! i believe it’s finally time to announce the surprise collaboration !! @ofmymuses and i are not only working on a character masterlist, but we are making them for muse inspiration for our brand new rp !! my half of the masterlist is premiering now, but her half should be arriving at some point today. @maskedfm​ is an appless slasher-themed rp following the lives of the rosefield residents as a possible copy cat killer strikes the victim of the first murders, gertrude green, and her daughter, georgie. with the original killer, identified to be gertrude’s ex-best friend, still locked up in prison, the new rosefield ripper can be anyone. so the question at hand is: how do you know who you can trust? we will be opening for apps in one hour, but i will answer any questions that come our way.

tl;dr: this character masterlist is a collaboration between amanda and i to help potential lurkers figure out any characters they might want to play in our new group !! however, it can also serve as stand-alone descriptions for any groups you might want to join !!

Tessa Thompson:

Name: Evangeline Campbell

Age: Thirty-Six.

Major: Community College Professor.

MBTI: ENTJ.

Hogwarts: Ravenclaw.

Enneagram: 1w2. 

Astrology: Aquarius Sun-Capricorn Moon.

Evangeline Campbell is a professor at the community college in her county. On a regular basis, she has to deal with grades and complaints. As a result, Evangeline has developed a bit of a dismissive attitude towards any unfounded objections sent her way. However, she wasn’t initially that way.

When she was younger, Evangeline took a very eager interest in anything she could get her hands on. She loved learning and as a result, her grades were always sky high. She was incredibly fascinated by school and loved trying her best to attend it every single day. The only problem is that she feels as if she peaked around that time. Will her attitude towards her life’s current situation turn around for the better?

Ludovica Martino:

Name: Mia Lombardi.

Age: Twenty.

Major: Photography.

MBTI: ISFP.

Hogwarts: Hufflepuff.

Enneagram: 6w5.

Astrology: Scorpio Sun-Cancer Moon

Mia has never been the type to have massive aspirations for herself. All she has ever been concerned with is enjoying her life and creating memories along the way. This did not please her parents, nor did it satisfy her guidance counselor, who had Mia in her office nearly every weekday in Mia’s junior and senior years. 

After a solid year and a half of attempting to break through to her that college is a necessity, Mia was convinced after she was told that photography is a great way to save created memories forever. She’s a beginner in the field, but she loves every second of it. She doesn’t see herself getting a career in the field, but she doesn’t aspire to be well-known anyway. She’s just having fun, but her parents are starting to pressure her to look into internships. Will she be able to figure out the road ahead, before it’s too late?

Tori Kelly:

Name: Marisol Jones

Age: Twenty-Four.

Job: Local Radio DJ.

MBTI: ESFP.

Hogwarts: Gryffindor.

Enneagram: 7w8.

Astrology: Sagittarius Sun-Taurus Moon.

Marisol has always been a small town girl with big city aspirations. From a very young age, Marisol would constantly use her family’s video camera and would use it to record herself talking about the burdens of her daily life. In elementary school, Marisol often found herself getting in trouble for talking too much or vying to be the center of attention at any given moment. In her mind, she couldn’t help it. The need to be heard was just a part of who she was and being the loudest person in the room was the easiest way to get that need met.

She didn’t see much of an issue with her behavior until she was twenty-one. This was when her boyfriend of three years broke up with her over it. Instead of yelling at him and telling her off, which was her go-to conflict-resolution plan, she became deadly quiet. One night after dark, she snuck into the studio of a local radio station. Even though the station was normally playing elevator music after midnight, she broke the non-stop stream of boring music by deciding to play You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette as revenge, letting any listeners know that this song was specifically dedicated to her boyfriend. The potheads and insomniacs loved it and soon enough, she was hired by the station to work as a DJ and commentator. Town citizens love her witty banter on the local station, but she wants more. Her ultimate dream is to move to Los Angeles and pursue a radio career there. Will her dream come true?

Carlson Young:

Name: Emilie Woods 

Age: Twenty-Six.

MBTI: ENFP.

Job: Party Planner.

Hogwarts: Hufflepuff.

Enneagram: 7w6. 

Astrology: Gemini Sun-Pisces Moon

As a child, Emilie was frequently sick. Her immune system has always been very weak, so if there was a sickness going around at school, there was a ninety-percent chance that she would catch it and would have to miss another week of classes. She rarely had other children her age to give her company and entertainment. As a result, she often had to make up her own games and activities for entertainment.

Her favorite activity was planning parties for her dolls and stuffed animals. She would make up birthdays for each of them and would plan out all the little details of their individual birthday parties. Her eyes would light up and she would become incredibly giddy when she was able to see her plans come to life, even though she was the only one who cared enough to see it happen.

As an adult, Emilie still has a weak immune system, but she takes extra measures to still go out and socialize, in spite of it. Her neighbors often comment that she has a larger than life personality. That kind of joy is only strengthened at her job, where she helps to plan anniversary parties, sweet sixteens, and weddings for people in her town. She has a boundary where she doesn’t allow others to touch her, especially if they’re ill. However, people often don’t think twice about breaking her boundaries, because they don’t think it’s as serious as it truly is. Will Emilie be able to stand up for herself and put her foot down?

Orion Carloto:

Name: Luna Costa.

Age: Twenty-One.

Major: History.

MBTI: ISTJ.

Hogwarts: Slytherin. 

Enneagram: 3w4.

Astrology: Virgo Sun-Gemini Moon.

Luna Costa was born and raised in New York City. With her parents both being workaholics, she learned how to be at the top of her game from a very early age. As she grew up, her ambitious streak stuck and she was to be within the top five percent of her class.  

That was before the Costa family moved to the suburbs. Luna was forced to make new friends, look at new schools, and get used to a completely unfamiliar environment. It’s been around four years since then and Luna has found herself stuck at a lower-tier college. However, she still dreams of one day owning a fabulous museum of her own. Will her ambitious streak pay off?

Josephine Langford:

Name: Hannah Bradford

Age: Twenty-One.

Major: Musical Theatre

MBTI: ENFJ.

Hogwarts: Hufflepuff.

Enneagram: 3w2.

Astrology: Libra Sun-Cancer Moon.

Hannah Bradford is an optimistic, sensitive soul. From a young age, she lived to make others smile, due to her antics. When she found out that a stage was the perfect place to do exactly that, she was hooked. From then on, she vowed to join any theatre program she could, including summer camps and school plays.

When high school came around, Hannah often received lead roles in most of the school productions. However, while she was trying to make everyone else happy, she was miserable. Her parents had separated in her last year of middle school and even though the two parents initially had equal custody, her father left the picture shortly after. 

After four solid years of anger, she entered community college with a brand new mindset. She wanted to be a positive influence on everyone she knew, including herself. She painted the walls of her bedroom yellow, decided to take in more sunlight, and wanted to surround herself with positivity, as she felt that this would help her complete her goal. That goal seemed to be on its way towards completion until it was suddenly halted by the death of her father. She found out through her grandmother and she instantly felt as if she was back at square one.

Since then, Hannah has been diagnosed with situational depression and is taking life one step at a time, without any added pressure. Will Hannah’s situation get any better?

[unimpressivethief]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: Spence. Just Spence. Spencer is too formal. 

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I exist.

Nah, but really. I was born during the single worst hurricane to happen in the early 90′s. My parents were in the process of evacuating, stuck in traffic and I decided that was my time to shine. Mum couldn’t make it to the hospital in time, so I was a car baby. My mum has never let me live it down. I ruined the seats to her car and that’s what shes still mad about. She doesn’t even own that car anymore and still brings it up. Lmao.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Ah, fuck. This is hard. Muscles, can hold themselves with confidence, aesthetic??? As cheesy as it sounds, I’m more of a personality guy. I can’t really be attracted to someone unless I know them. 

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Soups and warm bread. Boring, I know, but I lived in poverty all my life and I’ve learned to appreciate the simple things. 

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Broccoli!!! I hate it!!! It’s so gross!!! 

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Eating an entire bag of chips in one sitting. Sometimes more. I have no self control when it comes to chips. 

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Boxers and a comfy t-shirt. Don’t like a lotta things touching me while I try to sleep.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Both??? I gotta be honest with you, I haven’t been in a relationship since my early 20′s. It was pretty traumatic and I haven’t really got over it. Still hopin’ the right person is out there for me. I’m open for a serious relationship some day.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: Oof. This is a bit too personal for my taste. 

How about a silly answer? I’d go back and teach myself how to properly dye hair and shave a mohawk. My first attempt was a complete disaster. Still rocked it like it was cool though.  

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: Sometimes. Depends on my mood. I’m on and off distant and I don’t mean to be. 

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: Uh, any Studio Ghibli movie? All except for Grave of the Fireflies. That shit makes me depressed for weeks. 

12. FAVORITE BOOK: Any books about vampires, or demons, or just fantasy stuff!

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: I’m perfectly content with cats but if I had to pick a strange animal; I’d want a Deer! I just love them. 

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: Uh, Yu/Bo from the Beyblade fandom? This blog hasn’t had enough interactions yet to really have a fav ship list. At least not yet. 

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake! Pie is too dry.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Sage, lavender. I don’t like super overpowering smells.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: Lucy Lawless. I’ve had a mad crush on her since I was a kid, and even now she can still get it. I’m sure I can think of others but I’m lazy. I’m like Demi/Pan so like, my list is a bit long.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Back to Sweden, or Japan. I really want to see Japan one day.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert. I’m very shy, and awkward. Being around people can hella intimidate me if I don’t know them. Among friends I lean more into Extrovert territory. It’s too late for them, they can’t leave. 

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Very! I hate it!!! You can sneak up and surprise me so easily!!! I scare myself sometimes.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Android??? I’ve never had an Iphone so I can’t judge. I’m sure they both have pros and cons.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Lots! I’ll play anything that looks interesting enough! I love open world games and horror games the best. Silent Hill 2 is one of my all time favorite games. Just starting it up and wondering around makes me feel like home. I really love Witcher 3 too! Man, its really hard to pick, I love so many games.

23. DREAM JOB: Radio DJ!!! I know the odds are stacked against me, and I do have a speech impediment but its always been my dream. 

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: TOP SURGERY!!! TOP SURGERY!!! T O P S U R G E R Y!!! I’ve been saving for years but never get close enough. After, I’d like to put some money in saving for college and the rest i’d use to help people. 

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: I don’t hate fictional characters as much as I hate some extremest fans of certain characters. Extremists and take a good character and completely ruin it and suck the fun out of it. 

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Ugh, V*ltr*n. I grew up with the old series and loved the new series but the fandom just upsets me. 

TAGGED BY: @floralcrowns​

TAGGING: @unovasgambler​ / @frozenriver​

[staticscreenwriting]

God only knows - Billy Hargrove

A/N: I wrote this for dacremontgomerylover’s writing challenge. I chose the prompts :  “Are you ready for this?” “Ready as I’ll ever be” // “I’m in love with you, okay?!” // “I want you more than anything!”. 

It’s a bit angsty but mostly It’s cheesy fluff to make your heart all warm and fuzzy.

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on, believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me God only knows what I'd be without you

Billy’s face is pulled into a frown as he stares at the black suit that hangs from the door of his wardrobe, almost mocking him. He’s supposed to be wearing it, right this moment. He’s supposed to be sitting on a table with a bunch of people he doesn’t particularly care about and listen to music he doesn’t like and drink punch that Tommy H. undoubtedly tried to spike at some point. And he’s supposed to do all that only because it makes (Y/N) happy.

But the truth is, he’s not wearing the suit and he’s not suffering through the bad music choices of the DJ at prom. And he’s not getting to see (Y/N) in her dress. The one she talked about for so long with that breathtaking sparkle in her eyes that makes the world, Billy’s world, seem just a little less shitty.

No. He’s home, alone and fucking miserable. There’s Metallica blasting through the house and a cigarette dangling from his lips and god there’s this awful feeling in his chest that he can’t really explain or understand. It feels bad though. Like someone burst open his chest and reached into it to squeeze his heart tighter and tighter every time he reminds himself of what could’ve been. What should’ve been.

He wonders what (Y/N) is doing now, if she wastes even a hint of a thought on him right now. There’s no doubt in his mind that she looks breathtaking. He knows her dress is red to match her favorite lipstick and he knows she plans on wearing her hair in big curls. She mentioned it one day when they were hanging at Starcourt and shared a serving of Cheese fries. He didn’t show it then but he listened to every word she said. He always listens. Now he wonders if letting her know, if showing her he cares would’ve made a difference.

Because that’s what got him into this whole dilemma, isn’t it ? His inability to let go of stubborn ideas, of dreams that were never dreams to begin with and open up to the one person that ever bothered to listen.

Every time he thinks back to that moment 3 weeks ago, his chest grows tighter and his hands get clammy. It makes him so unimaginably angry, at himself above all.

It was raining that day but it was friday and they spent every friday parked at the edge of the quarry looking down at the water and talking about their week or ranting about their parents or, on rare occasions, coming up with theories on how Steve Harrington’s hair managed to stay that pouffy and voluminous.

So even with the rain crashing down from the heavens, they didn’t wanna break tradition. So they went anyway and got comfortable in the car, sharing cans of coke and a pack of Reese’s Pieces while Mötley Crüe was softly playing from the car radio.

“ So, I got some really exciting news to share “ (Y/N) said and Billy could almost feel the excitement radiating off of her ever word.

“ Yuh ? “ he murmured around a handful of candy, hastily stuffed into his mouth.

“ Mh. I got accepted to University of Michigan. Dad’s super excited about it, he was so close to fainting when he hear — hey are you okay ? “

Billy still remembers the moment she said those words. His heart dropped right down to his gut and he felt both anger and sadness taking over everything.

“ That’s it then, huh ? “ he spat out, jaw tight.

“ What ? “

“ You’re going. To fucking Michigan. So that’s it for us then ? “

“ What are you talking about ? “ (Y/N) asked, confusion masking her beautiful face.

“ I’m going back to California. You know this. You knew this when you applied. “

“ I know, but this is a huge deal, Billy. This is a great opportunity. “

“ Yeah well what about Berkeley? “ his voice got louder with every word. Laced with malice and pure unfiltered betrayal. This wasn’t what they had planned was it ? It was supposed to be them by the west coast. Them in California where things are better. Where things used to be good. Not fucking Michigan.

“ I didn’t get in, okay ? They rejected me. Is that what you want to hear ? I wasn’t good enough. “ there’s another sparkle in her eyes. One of sadness and unshed tears threatening to fall any minute.

“ So ? There’s more universities there. Don’t see why it has to be one in Michigan. It’s like our plan doesn’t even fucking matter to you!  “ he knew it was unfair then. Could feel the guilt taking over his entire being and seeping through every pore. But anger was a feeling Billy was accustomed to. One he knew so well. It was easier to give into that one than face the fact that he was being unreasonable, unfair, and a huge fucking asshole.

“ What plan Billy ? “ (Y/N) asked and threw her arms up in frustration, spilling a bit of coke on the car’s leather seat. “ there is no fucking plan if it doesn’t involve a college for me to go to. All you plan is to go back. That is it. You have no perspective. There is nothing for you to go back to. And I — I would’ve done it if I could’ve. Because it makes you happy. But I need something to work towards. I need a future that doesn’t consist of just going to California and then watching what happens. I was hoping that you would be excited for me and that you would maybe consider putting the move on a hold and come with me until I’m done with university. I’ll have a degree then and an idea on how to build a future in California. Or we could do long distance until I’m done with school. Lots of people do it. . It’s not never it’s just — a little later than you were hoping for. “

In all honesty, she’s the one good thing in his life. The girl who somehow wormed herself in and never left again. The one girl he ever truly loved. But that wasn’t enough in that moment. Not enough  to fight off all the anger and frustration. All the misguided and misplaced fury. Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes anger is louder. Sometimes hurt is. Sometimes fear.

“ No. “

“ No ? You haven’t even — “

“ I said NO !” his voice rang through the car at an ear shattering volume and to him, it sounded an awful lot like the voice of his father. His blood went cold, his hands went clammy and all Billy wanted then, was to turn back time to when things with (Y/N) were easy. When he could still fool himself into thinking that things would work themselves out in the end and ignore the fact that his idea for the future was hazy at best and that asking of her to go with it, was absolutely selfish.

“ So that’s it ? California or nothing ? California or break up entirely ? “ her voice was soft and quiet and he could tell just how close she was to crying. And he hated himself for that, he still hates himself for that.

He didn’t respond with words then, just shrugged his shoulders like the stubborn baby he was, he is. He didn’t want to break up, god no. He loves this girl and even if he never told her that it was in all he did. In the way he didn’t hate going to school. In how he picked her up for class every morning. How he was comfortable just sitting with her and talking. How he told her about his mom. About his dad. In kisses and touches and hushed words when the night was young and quiet.

But he had always had this idea of the future, that he would go back to California as soon as possible and once he returned, things would magically solve themselves. Things would be better. Good even. He never once thought about giving up that plan, that dream of a future that seemed an awful lot like a lie. But it was a comfortable lie. One he liked to believe in.

One that didn’t terrify him as much as the idea of going to Michigan did. Even if that involved her.

“ Guess that’s it. Ball’s in your court “ He didn’t even dare look at her then. Just hearing the tears in her voice. The sadness. The unmistakable sniffles coming from his right, were enough to break his heart. Seeing it would’ve absolutely killed him.

“ Wow, “ she sighed followed by another sniffle “ I can’t believe this. You expect me to give up a secure future. A place at a university that means a lot to my family. For what ? Being a little housewife while you do one odd job after another pretending that all is well. Like being in California magically fixes every problem we have. It doesn’t work like that Billy. If I come, I’ll just be miserable. “

He knew this. Knew that every word she was saying was right. And yet, he was too stubborn to admit it. To her and to himself.

“ For me. You’d give it up for me. “

From the corner of his eyes could see her shaking her head and taking a deep, shaky breath “ No Billy. I’d end up absolutely hating you. “

The next words were some of the hardest he ever had to say and yet they slipped off his tongue as if they were nothing. As if they didn’t change anything.

“ Guess that’s it then. Get out of the car !“

And it was then, that he looked at her for the first time since their fight had started. And despite the tears running down her face and her hair being all messed up from combing her fingers through it in frustration, he thought she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. To finally face all that he was giving up for selfish reasons, made him realize just how shit of a person he really was. And maybe people had been right all along. Neil. People at school. All of them. Billy Hargrove was an asshole. A liability. He broke things. Good things. The best things. He had actively and on his own accord, broken the one thing, the one person he loved most in the world. And he deserved all the shit that was coming to him. The anger. The pain. The heartbreak.

She didn’t respond, just shook her head, grabbed her bag and opened the door. As she stepped into the rain, Billy could see her jeans getting soaked in the matter of seconds and clinging to her legs. If this had been a movie, he would’ve gotten out of the car and ran up to her. Give her some grand gesture, some romantic speech about how much he loves her and use a lot of big words. He would’ve kissed her and the camera would’ve panned away with some sappy song playing in the background.

But this wasn’t a movie and if it had been, Billy sure wouldn’t have been the hero.

Billy’s face is pulled into a frown as he stares at the black suit that hangs from the door of his wardrobe, almost mocking him. He’s supposed to be wearing it, right this moment. But he’s not and it’s because he fucked up.

His eyes glance towards the ticket placed on his bedside table. The one (Y/N) had bought for him in hopes of spending prom together. The one she’d given him with that huge signature smile on her face.

He wonders if she’s having a good time, if she’s smiling that way now. If today is just another stop on her path to greatness. Because despite it all, Billy thinks she’s destined for greatness and he’s insanely proud of her. And if he wasn’t such a stubborn ass he’d admit to the fact that she deserves so much more than an uncertain future in a state that was never home to her with someone like him. And if he wasn’t such an ass he’d admit to himself that that state won’t be home for him either. No matter the memories. None of what made it home is still there. His mom is dead. His grandparents are dead. There’s no love there. And he actively fucked up the one chance of taking his love there with him.

There’s no love in California but there is love here.

He looks at the photo stuck in the corner of his mirror. It’s of (Y/N) and him and it was taken on his 18th birthday. She was the only one to remember. But that didn’t matter. She was the only person that Billy wanted to spend it with anyway. She’s smiling in the picture as Billy tries to look grumpy about the fact that she’s placed some silly birthday hat on his head. There’s a smirk hidden in the corner of his lips though. Because she makes things happy and worth it. Even the dumb shit. Even the silly stuff.

And it’s then that Billy realizes that all his dreams of the future have two things in common, her and California. But dreaming of them now, without her, feels hollow and dull. And maybe it’s not the place that’s home anymore, that’s happiness, maybe it’s her.

-OOO-

A cheesy Spandau Ballet song echoes through the halls of Hawkins High. (Y/N) hates it for several reasons.

1: It’s a shitty song.

2: it makes for a great song to cuddle with your date on the dancefloor.

And when usually she isn’t one to be envious of other couples, tonight she might as well turn green all over.

This was supposed to be a good night. A night filled with dancing and fun and kisses and dreams of a future with Billy.

But it’s none of that. It’s just a reminder of all the things she doesn’t have. And despite knowing that choosing university, choosing a proper path in life, was the right choice, it doesn’t make her heart hurt any less.

So she slumps down on one of the bleachers, cup of punch in hand and frown on her face. The red tulle of her dress surrounds her like a cloud of red cotton candy.

“ You know you’re supposed to be having fun right ? “

It’s his voice that sends shivers down her spine and makes her heart beat twice as fast.

When she turns towards him, he’s not in a suit but in his signature jeans and white shirt but it’s buttoned all the way up for once and he’s wearing the red tie she bought him that matches the color of her dress perfectly. He looks delicious and it makes her angry. He doesn’t get to break up with her, kick her out of his car, not answer any calls and effectively break her heart and then — and THEN have the audacity to show up here and look like a young god.

“ Nah. You don’t get to do this “ she says and stands up and rushes off. Nowhere in particular just — just away from Billy.

But Billy is sneaky and … fast. (Y/N) doesn’t even realize he’s caught up to her by the time she feels his warm hand softly grabbing onto her arm and spin her around.

When she gets a good look at his face, it’s filled with so many emotions it’s hard to place them all. Billy isn’t usually one to show his feelings. He’s guarded and reserved and the only emotions he really puts on show are anger and lust. And sure, there have been moments when he allowed himself to be vulnerable. When he shared other emotions with her. Sadness and joy and all the things inbetween. Those are the moments that made her fall in love with him in the first place. Those are the moments that are so hard to forget now that she never gets to tell him how much she truly adores him.

“ (Y/N) stop running. “ he says and she’s this close to ripping him a new one. But there’s something in his voice that makes her stop. He seems — he seems sorry. Genuinely. And that’s not something she’s used to. Billy is stubborn and hard headed. He never says sorry.

“ What ? Why are you here, Billy ? “

“ To see you “ his hand lets go of her arm but slowly wanders down towards her hand, softly holding onto her fingers.

“ Yeah well you did. Now can you leave me alone ? You made it abundantly clear that we’re over. “

“ Wasn’t sure you were gonna be here “

“ Oh what, just because you didn’t want to come doesn’t meant I can’t go by myself. Isn’t that the same sentiment you’re going for with the California thing ? “

She says it to hurt him, deliberately. And it’s not fair but (Y/N) is sure whatever he’s feeling doesn’t even come close to the heartbreak he’s put her through. Ever since that night she’s been questioning everything. All the good moments. Was it really worth it? Did she really mean that little to him? Maybe it’s good she never told him how she felt. Maybe — maybe that would’ve completely ruined her.

“ I deserved that one “

“ You think ? Billy I — please just tell me if all we had was just you trying to pass the time. If all I was to you was a distraction until you could finally go home to California. “

His face falls and for a moment she regrets asking. But not knowing would’ve never let her mind go to ease ever again. Some things need to be said, no matter how hard the truth might hit you.

“ Never. Fuck, (Y/N). You were the only good thing in my life. You ARE the only good thing in my life. I don’t want you to think that for one single second. Not one goddamn second, you got me ? “

The tears are threatening to fall, again. It just doesn’t make sense.

“ Why are you here, Billy ? “

“ I’m in love with you, okay ? And I know I fucked up but I needed you to know that. “

His voice is raised and (Y/N) notices him getting more and more uncomfortable as the people around them take notice of their conversation.

And yet it doesn’t lessen the intensity of his words. Or change anything about the way he looks at her. Billy isn’t a person who does grand romantic gestures, especially not in public.

But he does this. Tell her he loves her in a room full of their classmates and he doesn’t waver or look away. He’s there in the moment and it’s all she ever wanted from him.

“ You love me ? “

“ Fuck yeah. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like I didn’t. “ Billy says and pulls her closer, cradling her face in his hand.

“ You look beautiful by the way. Smokin’ if I’m being honest. Like if Michelle Pfeiffer had a child with — I don’t fucking know, but you look incredible. “

“ You’re wearing the tie “.

“ I’m wearing the tie “

His lips are so close to hers she can feel his breath on her skin. And she wants to kiss him so badly, but no sweet words or love declarations suddenly make their problems go away. The fact still stands that her future doesn’t lie in California, at least not for now.

“ Billy ? “ (Y/N) says and pulls away slightly.

“ Hm ? “

“ Let’s get out of here. The music sucks. Tommy did a horrible job at spiking the punch and — “ she stops and looks around them for a moment, making all the nosy classmates around the avert their eyes “ — I think the people here are way too much into other people’s business. “

And he agrees, but not before pressing a soft peck to her lips. Because he’s still Billy Hargrove and if he’s presented with a chance to kiss his girl, even if it’s just a whisper of a touch, he’s gonna take it.

-OOO-

“ You’re a sight for sore eyes “

“ Oh shut up “

There it is again, that smile that he loves so much. He always thought telling her he loves her, actually saying those words, would be hard. That it would fundamentally change things.

It wasn’t and it didn’t. It just slipped out and it took a big weight off of his shoulders. Because whatever comes now, at least she knows how much she truly means to him.

It’s not fundamentally different it’s just — lighter. Easier. He always thought that saying the words out loud would make it harder for him to leave her. That’s not true. It just makes it easier to stay.

(Y/N) is perched on the red leather booth of the diner, across from him. Tull pooling around her like marshmallow fluff. There’s a greasy burger clutched in her hand and she’s smiling. God how he missed her smile.

“ I got you something. I got it last week and I was so close to coming around your but then I — “

“ You chickened out ? “ she asks and smirks.

“ Nah. I don’t chicken out of anything. You know this babe. I just— something came up. “

“ Like what ? “ (Y/N) questions and raises her eyebrow in suspicion.

Like my nerves. He thinks, but doesn’t say.

“ Like Tommy. Idiot locked himself out of his car. Had me pick the lock. “

And it’s not a lie. Not really. He did pick Tommy’s lock, just not that day.

“ How noble of you. “

“ Anyway — “ Billy starts again and fumbles around with his keys for a moment before placing something on the table in front of (Y/N).

“ A key chain ? “

“ Look at it. “

It’s a blue key chain with a bold yellow M on it. As (Y/N) realizes what it actually means, her heart starts beating a mile a minute.

“ It’s a Michigan key chain. Did you — did you drive up to campus ? That’s quite the drive, Billy. “

Billy nods “ Yup. Well I had to check out our future home. It looks nice up there. Pretty fancy. Heard they got some good bars. It’s better than Hawkins for sure. “

“ What are you saying ? “

There’s a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips and (Y/N) thinks it makes him look younger than he usually looks. Almost bashful. Softer. She wishes he would give her more smiles like this.

“ I got a matching one. “

“ Are you saying that you’re considering moving up there, with me ? “

Billy bites his lip and nods, waiting anxiously for her reaction.

And when it does come, it hits him full force. Right in his heart and swallows him whole. That smile. That goddamn smile that has him hooked. Line and sinker.

“ Billy, what about California ? I don’t want you to give up your dreams for me. If it’s what you really want I think we could make it work in one way or another. “

Billy just shakes his head though “ No, (Y/N). I want California yeah. But that’s a place and it can fucking wait for us. They ain’t ready for us anyway. I want you more than anything. Those three weeks where I didn’t have you around made me realize that I don’t want a future anywhere if it doesn’t include you. We’re gonna make Michigan our fucking bitch. “

There’s a smile on his face so big, (Y/N) doesn’t think she’s ever seen him smile that hard. She thinks it’s her favorite sight of all time.

It’s when the sounds of God Only Knows by the Beach Boys stars sounding through the diner, that Billy gets up and holds out his hand to (Y/N) who raises her eyebrow in question.

“ I think I owe you a dance, don’t I ? “

“ You hate dancing. “

“ I also hate ties and buttoning up my shirts and yet here I am. You wanna do this or not ? “

(Y/N) take a last sip of her soda before getting up and being pulled into Billy’s arms.

To have him hold her tight and sway with her, it when she realizes how much she missed this boy. Flaws and issues and all, he’s her boy. Her Billy.

“ I can’t wait to start this journey with you. “ (Y/N) murmures as her head rests against his shoulder.

“ I’m so proud of you, (Y/N). I know I didn’t say it when I should have but you’re — you’re so cool. Pretty sure you’re the only person with an ass almost as good as mine. And you — you make life seem less shit which is really all I can ask for. “

“ I love you Billy Hargrove “

It’s the first time he hears those words from anyone that isn’t his mother. There’s no way to properly express just how they make him feel.

Being loved is terrifying but he thinks it might just be worth it.

“ And I love you. “

“ Are you ready for this ? “ she asks, a gentle expression on her face and endless adventure sparkling in her eyes.

“ Ready as I’ll ever be. “

And it’s true. Nothing has ever felt more true in his life except maybe the fact that he’s in love with her.

Billy doesn’t know what’s gonna happen. He doesn’t know if things will work out. What he does know though, is that he loves her and that a future without her seems really fucking boring and miserable.

But that’s not a future he’ll have to face anytime soon.

She’s here in his arms and as her lips softly meet his, he can’t wait for more moments like these. In Indiana or Michigan or California. It doesn’t matter as long as they’re together.

And maybe sometimes love is enough to overcome the pain and the hurt and the fear.

And maybe sometimes life gives you a moment when it does feel like a movie.

And maybe sometimes even someone like Billy Hargrove gets to be the hero in that scene.

[martiniblves]

mijoo and her iconic entrances DFKLSJGDF

yes, i really am recycling the intro some of you probably Just caught when you followed me DGSFLJLGSD

hey y’all, i’m kat, english student and an old hag :/ also slowly coming down from an anxiety moment, hence only deleting old shit now and potentially going rogue from my blog for the night after posting this ( aka, best if y'all send me your d*scord users bc it's much easier for me there ) sfdgjgfd i’m super excited for this group and can’t wait to read all about your muses !  and hoping you feel the same, i’ll get right to introducing avalon bay’s resident messy brat, dahlia !

[ lee mijoo ] dahlia kim, twenty-four, cis female, she/her, radio dj — a world-class traveler in the making, self-proclaimed “ reformed ” groupie, has been a tennant at avalon bay for two years, her cherry blaster obsession is the sweetest thing about her, she slept with an ex-best friend’s roommate and crush as revenge. [ kat, 22, nt, she/her ]

she often goes between dahlia and dia, first and foremost sdfglkj

came from a super small town in upstate new york where there wasn’t much to do or much to see, so growing up she had an adventurous streak that would run rampant when she was able to go off by herself, able to drive, and finally able to leave it behind

her family life was rather average, her parents scraped by financially but her and her two younger siblings never really went without — aside from a toy or two at christmas or a brand new car for their sixteenth birthdays sfgkljgdf

gets on fine with them, but her and her little/middle sister have had an on-and-off contentious relationship that, at the moment, is very much ON SDFGFG

small town life was.. okay overall, she was social Enough and polite but never really maintained any close relationships with her childhood pals once high school came and went, mostly bc the town was full of gossips so everyone thought poorly of each other and passed it onto their kids LSKFDGJGDFL

and yes, i’m kinda basing this off of the antics of adults from my hometown, what about it ??

she spent most of her formative years with her head in the clouds and music always around her or on her mind

so you bet she wound up taking guitar and piano lessons when she was a kid and well into her teens, and dare i say she was pretty good at it fsdglkjgdf

having that skill gave her the boost of confidence she needed from middle school onward, having been a tad reserved before then

idk what else to add bc i honestly can’t think of anything else about her past Before moving away. dull as hell probably, more than it’s already been said LKGSDF

upon moving to the city, she attended nyu just to keep her parents from completely losing their minds over her not.. wanting to go on a sure path, majoring in communications and spending much of her time as a dj for the campus radio station’s late night shows

soon began searching for dj gigs at major radio stations once she’d graduated and landed a spot as an intern to meet with artists the station wished to interview, etc, and even had an opportunity or two to interview them herself

through that job, she became more exposed to the groupie lifestyle and — having always been somewhat intrigued — soon became one ( of sorts ) 

sorry if you’re a fan of h*lsey bc this might come across as a dig, but this is where she becomes the chill version of groupie!h*lsey that h*lsey wishes she had been DFLSKJDGSFL

she liked the attention from drummers, singers and rappers alike — plus having sex with talented, rich people whenever they were in town didn’t hurt one bit — and she kept it all separate from her job, although it did help the station land more interviews, tickets for contests, etc

wasn’t big on hard drugs, but she never shied away from a bong being handed to her or a couple of xanax tablets, just so we’re clear here sdflkgjfdgk

however, the no-strings set-up quickly shifted for dahlia upon meeting a rising indie band’s lead singer

he was smooth as hell, which she already knew alongside his tendency to get bored easily with fangirls-turned-groupies like the rest of the musicians she’d met, so when she played along with his game, it didn’t take long for him to maintain an interest in her and for them to forge something of a friendship

she’d never admit it to anyone, but he was her first love as the initial sexual attraction very quickly became romantic after long conversations about music and aspirations, mundane happenings in their lives separate from their encounters and who should’ve won immunity on the recent ep of masterchef; dia knew he wouldn’t settle down now and she knew that while she was his number one at that point, she wasn’t the only one he had. a couple of months passed where it seemed like he was going only to her, that his interest rarely waned to the other girls that would swarm him, which led her to believe he was at least somewhat into her and to her confessing when they were both drunk one night — only to be shut down but not shut out

dejected and heartbroken, she still couldn’t quite distance herself from him like she knew she should and the front she put up — that she exaggerated her feelings and would get over it — made him none the wiser

however, he couldn’t get over the thought of his fwb still being in love with him and cut ties with her abruptly before his nth departure from nyc

it took her right out of her bubble, left a horrible taste in her mouth to even go back to being a groupie for others over how poorly it all went with him, so she abandoned the sexual aspect and potential intimacy of it — but not before taking herself completely out of that lifestyle for a few months to get over him

which.. lbr, she’s only 90% of the way there to this day sfdlkkdfsgl

upon going back, she showed up to shows and parties solely as a friend of the performer.... before that got old Quick and she realized how soul-sucking it was for her sexually frustrated And repressed ass KFSLJGS

though ask her pals and they’d think she’d given it up altogether, hence her supposedly being reformed

.. at least she isn’t indulging in drugs like she occasionally used to, so that counts for something lksdfjlgdf

as for her time in radio, she got promoted to a morning slot as a dj with a couple of co-hosts last year, though once an afternoon slot opened, she high-tailed it out of there

anything to get back to her chill, late night roots and this was the first step

lastly, she moved to avalon bay 2 years ago, after uni was done and she had to move out of the dorms. in that time, she’d become best friends with another girl and had a massive falling out bc the other was. well. changing for the worst sgfjgfd

she became selfish, judgmental, advantageous and disloyal, and soon dia had enough of her hypocritical and generally nasty antics ( and not without a brutal argument that left both of their egos bruised )

dahlia isn’t always one for petty revenge, but when the ex-bff’s roommate and crush — who dia had a slight interest in as well — bumped into her in the hallway of their dorm one night, she took her chance to knock the other down a peg by initiating a flirtatious conversation that quickly turned sexual

with her ex-bff being on the other side of the wall of said roommate’s room

safe to say that their ( final ) conversation in the morning was a fucking disaster SDFLGKJGFDK

it’s not something she’s entirely ashamed about, but dia doesn’t feel the need to disclose what happened

PERSONALITY AND OTHER SHIT

she loves her friends, would die for them, would kill for them. let’s get that straight first and foremost !

does that mean she’s the nicest or even the most tolerable person ?? fuck no SFGLJGKDF

i described her to one of my pals as a “ chaotic free-spirit with a mean streak when she doesn’t get her way, ” which. could also describe a couple of my bitchier muses tbh FLDKGJDS

but she’s stubborn, irritable and has a sense of high self-worth and self-preservation

she obviously has an attitude that can and will come out if you hurt her or someone she cares about/someone she thinks doesn’t deserve it

or if you think you’re a god or something

and it can get ugly.. as explained above dfskgdgkf

however, we love confident women on this blog and here you have one !

she’s chill for the most part, so you ( probably ) won’t have anything to worry about if you stay on her good side gfsdkljgfd

passionate af about radio and music as a career, wants to have a gig like zane lowe’s beats hosting job or even annie mac’s one day

although she also wishes to put out music of her own at least Once before she dies dfgsljdfgk

bit of a wild child, likes to party and just do her own thing — partially bc she’s scared of getting older and having to give that all up/being forced to act her age

doesn’t mean she doesn’t like her quiet nights in though !

closet romantic, just wants to be swept off of her feet..... but no one needs to know that, at least she doesn’t think so FSDJKGFD

won't let you see it anyways, at least unless she's Interested and knows you're not someone who's only useful for her in the short-term

also quietly doting, will never be the mom friend bc it’s too much responsibility and patience, but will always be a good shoulder to cry on who tells you your feelings are valid before she tells you to toughen the fuck up and amend a situation yourself, might even tell you how

some exceptions may apply FDLSJGSFLK

a bit vulgar at times, just warning you now fgldskf

wants to see the world and has travelled a little as it is bc of her connections. loves it

JFKDGS

has a pet succulent bc she Knows she can't look after the big fluffy dog of her dreams rn

named him bobby after one of the characters from the love island game DFLKGSJF

i honestly dk what else to add rn, plus i’m eager af to post this so we’ll end it here ! cute extras can always be posted later !

[thatfairyfangirl]

True Colors Chapter 9

The chilly bite at your cheeks and the jingling bells of street corner Santas told you that it was once again time to break out your Nana’s Almond Snowball Cookie recipe. In all the time you’ve been in possession of the hard copy passed down from your Great Great Grandmother you never could get it quite right. But you couldn’t remember a Christmas without those little tiny balls of nutty sugar and you weren’t about to start now. Bucky leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, chuckling at the sight of you as you frantically darted from one side of the kitchen to the other...It was clear this was definitely not your domain. But oh to watch you try was quite hilarious.

“I never thought I’d see the day you would be in an apron baking cookies.” He chuckled as he stepped in, making his presence known.

“Well, tis the season...falala.” You quipped back as you scooped up a small bit of powdered sugar to poof in his direction, dusting him with the sweetness.

“Oh really?” He chuckled as he rushed to scoop you up, ignoring your yelps and screams as he flung you over his shoulder to secure you as he rubbed the white dust all over your face.

“Yes really.” The proud glow coming from you was enough to light the room as you kicked and wiggled trying to free yourself. “This recipe has been in my family for generations.”

“Oh! Are those the cookies you brought to the Christmas party last year?” Tony’s eyes lit up as he rushed into the kitchen to snag one, popping it into his mouth only to spit it right back out into the trash. “No...no they are not….stick to music kid.”

“Okay so they aren’t as good as Nana’s.” You sighed, quite sure you’ll never get it right. “I’m driving out to Mom’s next weekend I’ll bring you a batch back.” You added as Bucky finally conceded to let you back on the ground.

“Okay. One. not as good as Nana’s is a horrific understatement. And two. All the way to Philly? Are you sure you wouldn’t rather take a quinjet or something?” Tony asked with a raised brow as he scooped up the terrible batch of cookies to deposit them safely in the garbage where they obviously belonged.

“Oh Tony don’t be ridiculous! It’s only two hours!” You waved a sugar covered hand dismissing the idea of needing to fly such a short distance.

Bucky tossed you a towel as he looked from you to Tony, noting the worried look in his eyes. “Yeah and I know you. Last time you went to visit her you were in a huff for a week! You made a stripper dance to Slayer! And as hilarious as it was to watch her cry on stage I’d rather not deal with you in that kind of mood again.”

“Tony, please…” You let out a sigh, brushing your hands through your hair. “I know my family can be difficult, but it’s still my family, and it’s the holidays.”

“No, difficult is getting Bucky boy here through airport security.” Tony quipped as he reached for your phone, texting your mother for you that you would be bringing your boyfriend.

“This is a bad idea put my phone down right now!”

“No, it’s fine...I’ll be your boyfriend, we’ll get a hotel room for you to retreat to once they finally push you past the breaking point and then after New years just tell your mom that we decided we’re better off as friends.” Tony insisted before sending the text, no turning back now.

~ ~ ~ ~

The snow fluttered over the city, blanketing everything in a glistening white. The cheer of the season was all around. There may still have been weeks yet until the actual holiday but you could still feel it in the air, growing all around you as you hummed to yourself the same old familiar tunes of every Christmas from long ago. Though New York tended to be a hard place filled with those who didn’t seem to care along the day to day activities the ringing bells of corner Santas and echos of the same old carols seemed to fill the streets with a kindness of the season. You may have been excited before, but the final recording session for your album you had just come from and the knowledge that it will be out next week only made this year all the better for you.

Ever since Halloween you had been finding you took comfort in Bucky’s  company, and came to cherish the friendship that had formed between the two of you. He had become your best friend, you now couldn’t imagine life without him. You waited for him at your favorite little coffee shop overlooking Rockefeller Center’s skating rink, warming yourself with a hot chocolate as you watched the happy couples move throughout the streets. You began contemplating the season, wondering what to get everyone for the fast approaching holiday.

Snow clung to Bucky’s cap and the long dampening tendrils of his hair making him look even more rugged than usual as he found you in the shop with your lost smile on your lips. Tucked away in a small bag wrapped in colored paper he was sure he had found the perfect gift for you. Bing Crosby’s White Christmas hung in the air, a familiar tune from a familiar voice of what felt to you to be every christmas ever.“Hey Doll.” He sat, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Nice to know that Christmas hasn’t changed much.” He smiled as he looked out to the skating rink, remembering when they started doing that. “Some traditions just don’t die.” Lady Gaga’s Christmas Tree followed.

“And new ones form every year.” You chuckled at the contrast of song choices on the radio as you peered into the bag, frowning to see how small the box was...definitely not a new mix board in there.

“So what were you off doing this morning? More recording?” He asked, noting the lack of shopping you seemed to have gotten done. The ball had gotten rolling pretty quickly for you with Dazzler’s label thanks to the many songs you have already done...now it was just a matter of hand picking the ones you wanted to do for your debut album. You told him about the meeting you had with Dazzler and the people from New Year’s Rockin Eve and how excited you were to be debuting the collaboration you had been working on and how it will be released with your first cd. He smiled watching your face light up. “Wow, that’s pretty much your dream isn’t it?” You nodded, beaming with excitement.

~ ~ ~ ~

Bucky watched as the stark white snow danced around the rainbow cascading from your knit cap out of the corner of his eye. The both of you wandered the streets for what felt like hours, picking out gifts for those you both cared for the most. It all felt so familiar to him, so much like he’d gone back to the 40s, back home. You tugged at his arm with each new window display, smile growing with festive glee at each new Christmassy scene. The smile, however, quickly faded at the sound of your phone going off, and even moreso when you saw ‘mom’ on the call id. Your eyes glanced up to Bucky, letting the sight of his soft blue eyes comfort you as you answered. “Hi mom... you get my text?”

“I did. So why can’t you come out for Christmas Eve? I haven’t seen you on Christmas in years.” Bucky’s eyes narrowed, a comforting arm wrapping around you as your mom started getting to you already. Even if he couldn’t have you he still liked being there for you.

You squeezed at the bridge of your nose, holding off the headache that she always seemed to cause with ease. “I don’t know how many times we’ve been over this mom. Christmas week through New Years is just way too busy on the party scene. Plus I just lined up something huge for New Year’s Eve...”

“So you’d rather go to parties than spend some time with your family? That’s cold.”

“Mom, you know I’m a DJ. Parties are literally my job.”

“I just can’t believe that after we sent you to that nice school you’re still counting that as a job. It’s time to grow up (Y/N). Do you even know how much that school cost us?”

“No… You don’t get to try to pull that. I know full well that Xavier’s doesn’t charge tuition! And you sent me to that school because I blew up the music wing at school with my brain and blinded Mr. Masserant. I needed to get my powers under control.” The colors in your hair swirled as you let her rile you up yet again...she had a talent for that. “Look. I’m out with someone right now, we’ll talk about this when I come home.” You insisted before ending the call.

“Why didn’t you just tell her that you’re an Avenger now?” Bucky asked with a confused look on his face.

“I’m planning on that being a surprise.” You smiled  up to him. “She loves the Avengers, it’ll be the best surprise ever for her.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“Don’t you fuck with me Stark! You’re the one who got me into this mess!” You shouted as you followed Tony down the hall towards the hanger.

“I’m sorry! But Stark Industries needs me.” Tony insisted.

“I don’t care if they need you to build an office on the moon! Who is supposed to be my boyfriend for christmas now?” Hearing the ruckus Bucky poked his head out from the gym, getting a slight chuckle out of the way you barraded Tony.

“I can’t! I have to go umm now. I’ll make it up to you. I swear!”

“Making me face my mother alone...you better make it up to me!” Your fingers gently massaged your temples as you let out a sigh, unaware of Bucky approaching you from behind. “I guess I’ll just call her and tell her the truth. Tony is a jerk who likes to send unwarranted texts and I’m single by choice because all men are assholes.” You let out a soft agonized groan, knowing the way that conversation was going to go.

Bucky’s hands came to rest on your shoulders. “I can come with you if you want Doll. It would be nice to meet your parents.”

Tony shook his head. “Trust me Manchurian Candidate. I’ve been there before. I’ve met them. The only good things that ever came out of that house is her,” he pointed to you. “...And those cookies. Please don’t forget the cookies.”

“You don’t get a say anymore!” You barked at Tony with spiteful eyes before turning to Bucky smiling as bright as the christmas tree downstairs before planting a grateful kiss on his stubbled cheek. “Thank you Bucky...nice to know someone around here’s got my back.” You spoke softly before walking off to pack. The soldier’s crystal blue eyes sparkled as they shifted to watch you leave, lingering on your form for a little longer than you would have deemed appropriate if you had known.

“So how long has this been going on?” Tony teased, watching Bucky tense up at the insinuation.

“What? No. We’re just friends,” Bucky insisted.

“Mmmhmm yeah sure…” Tony nodded sarcastically, giving him a knowing look. He knew his best friend well enough to know that there was something going on there, even if she didn’t know it yet.

With a sigh he ran his fingers through his hair looking up to him...well if he was going to be in love with her he knew he’d need to make friends eventually. “I’ve been sure I’m in love with her since Thanksgiving.”

Tony nodded placing a hand on his team mate’s shoulder. “Look, I love her like a little sister...So proceed with caution. Pretty much every guy she’s been with has hurt her. She may not act like it but there are some major walls built up around her...even more-so since Halloween.”

Tag List:

@sillydecoy​

Announcement from the writer:

I am also on Patreon! You can find me on Patreon HERE. I know, I know, it sounds like I am expecting you to pay for my writing but fear not! I will only be charging $1 a month, and even that is voluntary. The majority of my fics will be available for free. The $1 subscription will be for access to the really adult content stuff I have been sitting on such as what I have been calling “Blind Date’s Deleted Scene” and access to my discord AND early access to fics! As a bonus for you guys since you have been with me since the beginning of Blind Date I will grant you free access to the discord if you shoot me a message here on tumblr and ask.

I will still post fics on Tumblr up until they are no longer welcomed by the staff, but patrons will be able to view them early.

For those who have trouble with hyperlinks on their device or find it hard to click a small word vs an actual link here is the full link to my new Patreon    https://www.patreon.com/fairyfangirl

[nottooldforthisship]

*CHEF fics*

- Learning to Eat by @mbpgku : Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?! Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat.  (METAPHORICALLY) (38k, M)

- Every Good Boy Deserves Cookies , by @stunning-stylinson​ : “Y-yeah?” Louis asks breathlessly, “And then?“Harry giggles and moves his bum back to meet Louis. “Add the vanilla and crack the eggs, beating it all in with salt,” Harry says.Or where Harry is a chef who teaches a class and Louis swears it’s only Harry’s bossiness that turns him on, not the recipe for cookies and Harry likes being praised. (8.5k, E)

- Feels Like Coming Home , by @phd-mama: The last thing Harry Styles expects when he’s hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that’s exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn’t heard one word from Louis, and he’s moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he’s a chef, isn’t easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he’d left turn out to be not so easily forgotten. This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives. (60k, E)

- Before We Evaporate ,  by  crimsontheory  : Louis Tomlinson; executive chef and owner of his own five star restaurant, been voted one of the top chefs in London, and has won several awards for his work in the kitchen. He’s always dreamed of being on Chopped, but never believed it would actually happen. Until it does. Now that he’s officially made it onto the show, there’s one tall, curly haired distraction that might just ruin everything for him.Or the kinda sorta enemies to lovers Chopped AU with far more smut than necessary. (37k, E)  

- Fool's Gold , by @freetheankles : Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up. (55k, E)

- Check Please      by  zedi   :      Louis has a shit date. Harry offers to cover the bill. They maybe fall in love. (2k, NR)

*BAKER fics*

- Relief next to me , by @haydolce : AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more. (333k, E)

- leave it to the breeze , by @hattalove :  or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people’s business. also featuring liam as louis’s best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur. (81k, E)

- shine by @lourrynavy​ ; Louis is an actor who needs to get away from the real world. He does the only thing that he can and runs away, finding himself in a small town where he happens upon Harry. What Louis doesn’t expect is to somehow fall in love and end up having to face what he was running from all along. (40k, M)

- Tis the Season for…Love?   ,    by @afangirlfantasy:   Prompt: Harry seems to have it all: A successful career as a pastry chef, a Victorian home in London, and a dedicated boyfriend who he's been with for years.   One day he stops by his boyfriend's apartment to surprise him and finds out that he's not so dedicated to Harry after all. Shocked and too depressed to celebrate, he decides to skip Christmas and on a whim leaves on a plane to New York. In New York he meets Louis… Or...Louis might just be what Harry's needed all along. (27k, M)

-  Flour and Chocolate      by   teaandtumblr : Then he approached the display cabinet. And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN. What. The. Fuck? Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.  OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.(145k, M)

- Float Down Like Autumn Leaves (Stay Now) , by @getmesometacos  : The AU in which Louis has a 6 year old daughter with a costume emergency that puts her school’s annual Halloween party at risk, Halloween decorated cupcakes are hard to find and tall men look absolutely ridiculously cute in giant vegetables costumes. Co-starring Harry, who makes really good food for the kids. Featuring Niall, who works in a bakery but has a part time job as a babysitter. And as much as he doesn’t believe in love at first (or second) sight, Louis is really infatuated and really wouldn’t mind seeing Harry again.(16k, M)

- we’re still going, eight in the morning , by @nooelgallagher​  and @yoursongonmyheart​ : Harry washes his hands quickly before grabbing his phone. His screen lights up to 3 notifications.DJTommo is now following you!@DJTommo mentioned you in a tweet!Direct Message from @DJTommo!Harry yelps, throwing his phone to Niall who just barely catches it.Niall looks down at the phone, seeing first the tweet, then the DM. He tosses the phone back to Harry, who nearly drops it. “What are ya doing, mate! Answer him!”Harry thinks for a moment about what he wants to say. This is his chance to actually talk to Louis Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson messaged him directly. He can say anything he wants. He begins typing, his fingers shaky.Niall comes over to stand next to Harry and peers down, looking to see what he wrote. When he does, he lets out a groan….Or, the one where Harry owns a bakery, Louis is a radio DJ, and Niall and Liam roll their eyes at their incessant flirting. (31k, E)

- taste on my tongue , by @bethaboolou : Louis Tomlinson, second place winner on TXF four years ago, is looking to reinvent his career. Harry Styles is a baker who is desperate for a bakery of his own.Louis doesn’t bake. Or cook. Or know how to use an oven.Take Louis. Take Harry. Add in a heaping cup of sexual tension. Another cup of delicious (and not so delicious) food. A smidgen of competitive spirit. A dash of hopes and dreams. And you get Kitchen Wars, a TV show that promises to be the must-watch event of the fall. (77k, E)

- come away with me , by @suspendrs: Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter’s life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help. (80k, NR)

- Whether Clouds or Clear Skies , by @onewasturning :   “You, young Harold, are a baker among curry houses and vintage clothing stores,” Louis says, and it forces a bark of surprised laughter out of Harry.  “I’m a— sorry, what?”  “Harry,” Louis says, “last night I had an experience bordering on profound.”  “You’re making it sound like you did something sexual with my muffin,” Harry says. Or, Louis gets into the habit of stealing baked goods while Harry’s busy keeping tabs on the weather. (25k, E)

- Every Story Ever Told , by @all-these-larrythings : Becoming a best-selling author isn’t as difficult as Louis would have guessed. It seems all you need these days is the perfect blend of alcohol induced philosophy, complete disregard for one’s dignity, a live blog about how fucked love is, and a bored publisher interested enough to offer him a deal. (54k, NR)

- Skin New, Hands True, My Hands All Over You , by PearlyDewdrops   : Harry designs wedding cakes, so of course meeting blissfully happy couples every day is part of his job description. Unfortunately, it’s caused Harry to perpetually hope each new day is the one he’ll find love, too. That is, until Harry realises everything he’s ever wanted is right under his nose in the shape of his best friend, Louis. But predictably, Harry only comes to this epiphany when Louis starts seeing someone else. And this is not a John Hughes movie as far as Harry is aware. Everyone else is pretty sure, though. Featuring a heavy dose of pining, copious amounts of alcohol, drunk dialing that results in a situation reminiscent of Rachel Green’s, a ginger cat that likes to interrupt intimate moments, and a Halloween party that changes everything. (44k, E)

* RESTAURANT OWNER fics*

- all the lights are full of colour, by @infinitelymint : So, fast-forwarding eight years from the day Harry met Louis, he is now a twenty-seven year old owner of one of the most up-and-coming eating establishments on the London restaurant scene, father of two wonderful boys and… separated from his husband. Now, that last part definitely was never a part of the original plan.  Or, Harry and Louis are separated, but for the sake of their two sons, they choose to spend Christmas together. It may just lead to a Christmas miracle. (26k, E)

- You'll Hear Me Calling for You , by  pinky_heaven19  : OR the one where Harry is an Alpha and Louis has a problem with it - until he doesn't. (42k, E)

- Let's Go Get Away , by @letsjustsee : Or, a fluffy AU in which Louis owns a restaurant that's next door to Harry's shop, and Louis is completely unaware how smitten he really is. (7k, NR)

* FOOD BLOGGING fics*

- 'Til I Tasted You  , by @icanhazzalou : Louis is Harry Styles' biggest fan. It doesn't matter that Harry is famous for being a food blogger and Louis can't cook to save his life.At least, until Harry offers to give Louis a cooking lesson. Then it matters just a teensy bit. (14k, E)

[markrichardson]

My Year in Spotify Listening

Like a lot of people I checked out the Spotify year-end summary thingy, and since Spotify is only a certain percentage of my listening, the results were surprising, and I tried to figure out what it meant. In general, I listen to new music via iTunes, if I am sent promos. That only encompasses a certain amount of new music of course, but if I’m sent a download, I tend to use that for my listening all year long. Often, I’m “done with” an album more or less by the time it comes out, but sometimes I’ll keep listening (as w/ DJ Koze this year) and I do that with my promo files. My Spotify listening tends to be a mix of things I stick on a few different playlists based on mood or genre, and they could come from anywhere (but they aren’t usually new). 

In terms of my favorite artists (Bill Evans wound up in my top spot, somehow, followed by Joni Mitchell) it was hard to figure out how it’d happened, because I didn’t spend the year obsessed with either. Then I looked at my 100 most played songs, and that did bring back a few things. I’m not sure if the whole list is in order, but the first 5 songs in the playlist are the 5 listed when Spotify gave me my most-listened-to tracks of the year, so I think so? Anyway, that’s what I am going with here. This is how my Top 10 songs show up on the playlist, in order, with one exception: in the middle of the list was Bow Wow Wow’s “See Jungle,” which I already wrote about on Tumblr 8 years ago (and about which I have very little to say now, except that yes I do still listen to this song a fair amount), so I’ve omitted that and included No. 11. 

Wussy: “Runaway” This was my favorite song of the year, it has 600 plays on Youtube and 5,400 on Spotify, which makes me a little sad. Technically it’s not from this year—Wussy put this out on a small-release tape or CD-R a few years ago—but I’m still counting it. This is the rare case where the streaming media playcounts tend to match the responses of folks I’ve talked to about this song—I mentioned to 4 or 5 people, and in each case they said “Yeah that’s kind of nice I guess...why do you like it so much?” I’ll try to answer that here.  

First I should say that I have no real interest in or knowledge of Wussy. They’re an indie rock band from Ohio, most notable at this point for the fact that Robert Christgau loves them, and has written rapturous reviews of their work over the years, which surely has helped them to achieve whatever small amount of notoriety they have. I checked them out here and there but they didn’t make much of an impression on me. I wish I could remember how I came across this particular song, but I can’t, probably either Twitter or a streaming media algorithm. But I loved it immediately, like, stop-what-you-are-doing-and-listen kind of loved. It just clicked. 

The first thing that comes to mind is the chorus: “I love you, let’s run away.” That’s the theme of so many of my favorite songs, I mean, the first album I bought in my life was “Born to Run,” and if you could sum up the first three Springsteen albums in in 6 words, “I love you, let’s run away” wouldn’t be bad. And I think I liked that this song didn’t try for poetic phrasing, just said it in the simplest way possible.

But the romance of a song like this has a shade of darkness to it, and that draws me in even more. Escape is never a long-term strategy. Eventually you have to figure out how to make life work when you’re in the thick of it. So while it’s such an appealing dream to exit the world with someone you’re crazy about, there is a shelf life to that sort of gesture. I relate to this idea of being fed up with everything in the moment and wanting to jump in the car with the only person who gets you, but eventually, the car is is going to need gas. What then? 

I didn’t know when I first heard this song that it was a cover, so the immediate impact of it was as a Wussy song. But I learned that it was written and recorded by another Ohio artist that people in the band had known, a woman named Jenny Mae. She died last year. Pitchfork did a news story on her passing. She was 49. And when I found that it was her song, I listened to her version and I loved it almost as much (but not quite), though her take also made my Spotify Top 20. I did think enough of her version to order the 7-inch, which was her first release. When I read about Jenny Mae’s life, the song took on another layer of meaning. She suffered from mental illness and self-medicated with alcohol. And she was described by people who knew her as brilliant and creative and hilarious but also impulsive and self-destructive. Which for me gives a sentiment like “No one likes us anyway / I hate my job / Sweet, sweet are the innocent / I love you, let’s run away” and “40 ounce between your legs/ Shakin up my heart / Turn around and look at me / Light another smoke” a different tint. These are the kinds of things you say when in the throes of a rush of feeling, but they’re not impulses you can safely follow for a lifetime, even though goddammit, sometimes I want to.

Bo Diddley: “Nursery Rhyme” In Richmond early this year I bought an old Bo Diddley album called The Originator. I saw it in a used bin, it was $20, and, it was pure instinct, I had a feeling it was interesting. For me, buying used records, $20 is a fair amount of money, I don’t pay that for something I’ve no idea about, typically. But something compelled me to pick it up. I was intrigued that it had none of the hits I knew. And I took it home and when I put it on a short while later it blew my mind. This surprised me because on the one hand it sounds so much like the idea of “Bo Diddley” I keep in my brain, the one rhythm we know from the song he named after himself, but this was just so controlled, so well rendered, with so much atmosphere. The whole thing is brilliant. I became particularly obsessed with this cut from the record, and then I started exploring the “Bo Diddley” beat in general, reading whatever I could about it and listening to examples. This kind of random deep-dive is the best thing about the internet era for a music fan. 

Mulatu Asatke: “Tezeta (Nostalgia” At nights when I hang out with my Mom at her condo in Michigan I play music over a Bluetooth speaker I bought a year ago. My Mom’s default has for a while been to put the television on, but at some point I asked her about playing music instead so we could talk or just hang out, and she grew to like it. Sometimes we’ll chat about stuff, and sometimes she will play Candy Crush on her iPad while I do things on my phone, which sounds distant but is actually very comforting to me. One of the things I’m doing on my phone during these evenings is finding songs to play. It’s quite fun (and interesting) for me to say to myself “What is a playlist that would make my Mom happy?” and then try and figure out what that might be on the fly. She was never really a music person so I don’t have a lot to go on, mostly her age, a story or two about a song she liked, and a vague knowledge of what she might have heard on the radio in my lifetime. 

In September, my Dad died, and I stayed with my Mom in her condo for a number of days that month. I felt a strange mix of feelings. On the one hand, he was father, I missed him, I thought about never being able to talk to him again, to not be able to share the things in my life. I thought about the fact that I wouldn’t be able to learn more about his life, my knowledge of which is pretty sketchy. There were all the usual things a person would be sad about. But then there was the fact that he had a severe and debilitating case of Parkinson’s disease for the last eight years, and at times he suffered so terribly. I remembered how on a few occasions he called me while he was delusional, he would tell me that he was sure he was going to die. One time, he told me that he saw someone in the driveway who was going to kill him. Another time, he said that it was hard to explain but that he had been split into two people, and he couldn’t take it, he was terrified. I told him that it would be better tomorrow and he yelled, “I’m going to be dead by tomorrow!” I would get calls like this while I was walking to work in Brooklyn 700 miles away, and I would feel so helpless. And so when he passed, I thought about him during situations like that, and also felt like maybe not he had some peace. 

A night or two after my Dad died I was sitting with my Mom, talking, and playing music. She dug out some old photos and we were looking at them, pictures from her in high school that I had never seen. I wanted to see everything, learn every detail. And over that Bluetooth speaker I was playing some random playlist I had found called something like “Jazz for late night.” I wanted background music. And while we were hanging out and talking, this song came on, “Tezeta” by the Ethiopian jazz bandleader Mulatu Astatke. And man, it’s hard to describe, but the mood of this song so perfectly captured the exact feeling I had. The phrase that comes to mind is “bombed out,” that’s the way it seemed, like I’d been beaten up and thrown in a ditch and my ears were ringing and now I was trying to reorient myself after all that had happened. There was a feeling of weariness and sadness but also a feeling that life continues, that we have to gather our memories and keep on. And this impossibly beautiful song captured every bit of that, the one-chord riff moving ahead, in spite of it all, while the sax line captures all the sadness dripping off everything at the same time. I listened to it constantly in the weeks afterward.  

Galaxie 500: “Fourth of July” (live) One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite band in my favorite version. This song is indicative of how (as with all songs on this list) when I’m in the mood I can listen to one track over and over. On a couple of occasions in 2018, I listened to this maybe 8 or 9 times in a row, immediately hitting “back” when it had finished. And the thing I was typically listening to was Naomi Yang’s bassline, which to me holds the lion’s share of the song’s feeling. Her bass playing in Galaxie 500 is so incredibly emotional to me, and it was never more so than here. 

Pusha T: “Infrared” The one truly “new” song on here.” I didn’t have an advance of this record so I listened on Spotify when it came out and I loved it. And this song in particular seemed so perfect, the carefully constructed rap, executed as if it’s coming off the top of his head, the sample—I listened to this many times in a row on a few occasions, and it also sent me to revisit Clipse, which brought me a lot of joy. 

Joni Mitchell: “Carey” Another song about freedom, but here it’s real. Blue is a perfect record but I probably revisit this one more than any other single song because I’m so in love with the production—that bass, that hand percussion...sonically, an album recorded almost 50 years ago simply cannot be improved upon. I remember hearing this one on AM radio when I was very young. It was a single, b/w “This Flight Tonight,” one hell of a 7-inch. I’ve always thought the picture it painted was so incredibly romantic—”Maybe I’ll go to Amsterdam, maybe I’ll go to Rome / And rent me a grand piano and put flowers 'round my room.” Hey, why not! And if Carey is indeed keeping her in this tourist town, we know it’s only for another hour, another day, another week, whenever she’s ready, she can’t be tied down. But then, that’s the future: this night, now, is a starry dome, and we’re alive, inside it. 

Arthur Russell: “That’s Us/Wild Combination” Sometimes w/ my favorite Arthur Russell songs you can hear the strain as he creates a new genre trying to get a particular unnamable feeling across. But not this one. Sitting in a room with his friend Jennifer Warnes he made a song that feels as natural as a breath. 

Carole King: “Pleasant Valley Sunday” I’m in awe of Carole King’s ability to write songs that sound perfect on the radio. Even if her prime hitmaking years only lasted a bit over a decade, the number of her songs with her name on them that left a huge mark on culture is staggering. Her demo for the Monkees hit “Pleasant Valley Sunday” shows how perfect everything was before the artist who would bring the song to the public got anywhere near it. I found this one on Youtube 8 or 9 years ago and it’s been in regular rotation since. 

Hank Williams: “The Angel of Death” In February and March I was doing research my Pitchfork Sunday Review on Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska. It’s one of my favorite records, and I’ve wanted to write something long on it for years, so spending time w/ it as the winter wound down was an intense pleasure. It’s common knowledge that Springsteen was listening to a lot of Hank Williams when he was writing the album, and when I came across this song, I became obsessed with it. One, the melody sounds right off Nebraska, and “My Father’s House” (another song I listened to a lot this year) especially seems directly modeled on it. But this song has so much going for it on its own. It’s about death and the moment of judgement, but Hank’s melody and phrasing don’t sound frightened. It’s hopeful, a prayer instead of an admonishment. 

Guided by Voices: “Motor Away” I’ve loved this song for years but I listened to it intently around the same time I was playing the Hank Williams, when I was thinking about leaving Pitchfork. I’ve never been a big fan of Robert Pollard’s lyrics (though I love many of his tunes), but he second line here is the one I couldn’t put out of my mind: “When you free yourself from the chance of a lifetime.” That’s where I felt I was. Editing this music magazine that I cared so much about was the culmination of a dream that took a long time, a ton of work, and a fair amount of luck to realize. When the chance of a lifetime comes along, you’re supposed to hold on to it as tightly as possible for as long as possible, until someone finally pries it away, which will happen eventually. I knew that. And yet, deep down, I knew that after 11 years, I wanted to try something else. Run away, motor away, drive away. Sometimes a song can give you the tiniest push.

[callmessam-blog]

Not One, But Two (Part VIII)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

Summary: It all started on that night when you and Jay were both too drunk to remember anything. You resigned from your job and left Seoul with a secret. Now you’re back and ready to tell Jay about them, but doing so means sharing their lives and putting his career and love life on the line.

There was no time to back out. As you got closer to the private room Jay had rented for tonight, a faint sound of laughter left the thin space of the door. They were having fun on the other side of that door, while you were another story out here.

Your thoughts ran wildly inside your brain. Perhaps you shouldn’t have worn this floral dress, it made you look so positive. Or perhaps you should have told Jay to wait for you instead of walking ahead like planned to avoid prying eyes from the public. God, of all the days to get a stomach ache, why not now so you’d have an excuse? No, in fact you could already be sick from this nervousness.

When Jay arrived at your doorstep this afternoon, looking dapper in his white dress shirt and pair of navy blue jeans and wearing a wide smile you’re sure one would have a hard time erasing, you wanted to tell him that you were wrong. You were being foolish when you agreed to him and you didn’t think this through. You’d be lying of course because you were telling the truth. The guys ought to know. You hated keeping the twins a secret from them when they had treated you so well in the past.

Jaeyoung tugged your hand and you looked at him, his face confused why you had stopped when the door was just there. Suri clung on your dress and was also looking at you. Could it be that they were thinking the same thing?

All of a sudden the door opened and Jay popped out. “Hey,” he said, sounding relieved. “I thought you got lost or something happened.”

“Daddy!” Jaeyoung cried excitedly, running to him. He shot his hands up and Jay carried him.

“I missed you buddy,” Jay said, ruffling his son’s hair. Recalling how Jaeyoung cried when he left them once out of the car crushed his heart.

You shook your head, smiling at yourself for your foolish thoughts. You must have been standing still here for quite a time already. “Something happened, but nothing that big,” you said, walking towards him with Suri. “This is gonna sound crazy, but I think I am crazy. I don’t know what to say to them.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Jay said and reached out for your free hand. He squeezed it gently.

For a moment you didn’t say anything and relied on the warmth from his palm. “Okay, I got this,” you said and nodded.

At first, there was silence.

You barely had the confidence to look at each of their faces, staring at you when you walked inside the room with Suri and Jay holding Jaeyoung. Most of them sat around the long table, except for Hyukwoo and Pumkin who stood next to the window.

And the next thing you knew, you were being crushed by Hyunjung who got up to hug you. Then chaos erupted—Jay was laughing at Jukyung who wanted to carry Jaeyoung; Kiseok pointed out that Jaeyoung had started crying because of Jukyung; Upon hearing her brother cry, Suri frowned and clung to you tighter, fearing the strangers before her; Sunghwa knelt in front of her and waved a lollipop in front of her to cheer her up; and amidst everyone else’s actions, you found yourself laughing at this welcome.

“Mommy,” Suri said, and you knelt down to wrap your arms around her.

“It’s okay baby. They’re mommy and daddy’s friends,” you told her, patting her back to calm her.

“Look, my kids are getting scared of you guys,” Jay said, trying to stop himself from laughing, and then pointed at Sunghwa. “How dare you bribe my daughter? I’m telling you. You’re handsome but I’m her dad. I get the final say.”

Abashed, you looked at Jay and called him out.

“I’m just kidding,” Jay grinned.

In the list of the many things that had happened to you and how you expected them to turn out, how everyone welcomed you and the twins should be added to it. You were, in general, the kind of person who always prepared yourself for the worst. Tonight, you expected some kind of indifference from everyone. However, fate had blessed you and gave you people who treated you well.

Around the table, Suri and Jaeyoung sat in between you and Jay. Next to you was Hyukwoo.

“Jay-hyung told us everything. They’re very cute,” Hyukwoo told you, glancing at Suri who seemed to have noticed him for she looked at him curiously. “Her name is Suri, right?”

"Suri, this is uncle Loco. Will you say hi to him?" You asked Suri.

She shook her head shyly. That only won Hyukwoo more.

"He's also a rapper like your daddy," you added, pointing at him.

"Ra-pper?" Suri said and peeped at him from your cardigan where she hid her face.

"Mhmm. Well, how about a handshake?"

Suri stayed quiet, stealing quick glances at Hyukwoo, who waved at her. "This might be a selfish request but somehow I wish I could be their godfather," Hyukwoo whispered to you.

It touched you to hear him say that. But all the more your guilt ate you up. "I'm sorry for keeping them a secret from all of you. Most of all, from Jay. At that time, I really thought I was doing the right thing," you confessed.

Kiseok, sitting across you had joined the conversation. "No one blames you. What's important is that they finally have both of their parents. And of course, that we met them at last. Come to think of it, our family just got bigger."

Grateful for what he had said, you raised your glass of soda to him. “Thank you, Kiseok. And I missed you and your words of wisdom. They were my guide in a dark tunnel.”

Kiseok chuckled. "I gotta give it to Jay. Never thought he'd become a daddy before me."

“Well, it wasn’t planned,” you joked.

On the other side of the table, Jay enjoyed telling the others funny stories about him and the twins and Suri got his singing skills and Jaeyoung inherited his moves. Jaeyoung seemed comfortable now, looking at the adults surrounding him. Though he had not said anything, he listened to them as if he followed what they were talking about.

Your eyes swept the room, from the jolly faces to the scrumptious foods on the table, and felt your heart heavy with relief to be here tonight. It was like a dream you never had yet was given to you.

So why was it that a pin was stuck in your heart and your tears wanted to come out?

The night had deepened, and when Suri yawned and the foods were reduced into the plates where they had been previously arranged so artistically, everyone agreed that the stories left untold would be continued some other day and it was time to go home.

Jay carried his sleepy daughter on the way to the parking lot; and Jaeyoung, equally tired, was in the arms of Sunghwa whom he had gotten close to. He volunteered to carry him since his car was parked next to Jay.

"Thank you, Sunghwa. I always thought you would be a good uncle," you said, walking next to him. Delicately, you swept Jaeyoung’s hair that was stuck in his forehead.

"Thanks to the lollipop," Sunghwa chuckled lightly. "I think he likes my shoulder.”

"You know he really does take after Jay. And Jay likes you, so I'm sure he does too."

"Are you guys talking about me? Hurry up!" Jay called out, standing next to his car. He fished out his car’s remote and unlocked the doors. You opened the back passenger doors, and both Jay and Sunghwa carefully placed the twins on their seats so they wouldn’t wake up.

“I promise I’ll come visit your new studio soon,” you told Sunghwa after thanking him once again for helping out. Once inside your vehicles, you and Jay waved back at Sunghwa, and then left the parking lot.

The drive back to your house was spent listening to the cool evening voices of the radio DJs in between songs they played. With the quiet rain that began when you were a few kilometers away from the restaurant, to you it seemed as if this departure was the continuation of a life that had been put on hiatus for three years. Your life.

"We did good, right?" Jay asked, catching a glimpse of you through the rear view mirror after checking the car behind him.

You turned to him and leaned comfortably on the soft cover of your seat. It was dark but you could just see him, smothered in various colors of lights coming from the outside.

"I almost thought we were spending their birthday months before the actual date," you giggled.

"That's not even the half of what I would do for their birthday. I'd surprise you," Jay replied. He smiled as he saw you close your eyes momentarily and nod at him.

"You always do, Park Jaebum."

And then, it's just Jay who was awake, reminding himself not to be carried away by the waves of exhaustion and join the three of you in your slumber. No, he had to drive past these cars eager to get to their destinations and slippery roads that ended before the seas, and make sure that nothing would happen. That nothing would wake you up until he got you home.

But he knew it in himself. None of these cars or roads or rain could stop him from seeing his home, when he’s already looking at them.

He’s finally at home.

[missytearex]

It’s @lululawrence‘s birthday! Which means it’s the perfect time to read some of her fics! Sus is ridiculously talented and churns out fic like nobody’s business, so the list of fics she’s written in the last year is ridiculously long. Thanks for blessing us with your talent, Sus!

Under 10k fics are under the cut. Enjoy!

You Don't Care About Me (One More Night)

tomlinshaw | 60k

the one where Louis pines for Harry and Nick helps ease his way into figuring himself out through a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Things quickly turn complicated.

You Try To Be Everything (I Need)

larry | 36k

Wars, and rumours of wars, were nothing new for the world in the twenty-fourth century. The fighting had evolved over the years, and rarely did it involve traditional weapons. A group most widely known as the Southern Powers gained strength amongst portions of the western European continent and spread quickly.

There was a fight the Southern Powers didn’t expect coming from the north of England, though. Resistance came in the form of an organised underground; a group comprised of people with the Touch that did the best they could to enforce a line that would not be crossed. Slowly, that line was moved from the Channel to boundaries further and further north. It seemed only a matter of time before the Southern Powers took over everywhere.

Until that time, people did the best they could to live their lives in some semblance of normality. For Louis Tomlinson, that sense of normality was about to change when his best friend, Harry Styles, goes missing.

Louis embarks on the journey of a lifetime where he uses his newly developed abilities to search for his friend, even when it takes him to places he never thought he would see while surmounting trials he never could have imagined.

(Something's Been) Hiding In My Heart

larry | 25k

a Sweet Home Alabama AU where Louis comes home to finally get his divorce from Harry finalized so he can move on with his life. Alderford holds its own set of challenges when he returns, but by facing his past maybe he can find the healing he so desperately needs.

It's the Climb

larry | 25k

The Hannah Montana AU where Louis is a world famous punk rock singer with a stage name of William and Jay drags him back to Tennessee for the summer. In her attempt for Louis to get back to his roots, he just so happens to reconnect with Harry, and things never go quite as Louis expects them to.

Nowhere to Land

larry | 23k

the sequel to Back to How it Was where other Harry has returned to himself with only foggy memories of the past few weeks. He finds himself with a new workout routine, recordings of interviews he doesn't fully remember choosing to do in the first place, and a budding relationship with a man he remembers from the X Factor but doesn't really know now. Doing the best he can, Harry tries to put the pieces together of what happened and where he's going to go from here.

Like a Lighthouse On The Coast (I Need You)

larry | 19k

the one where Louis has all the pressure of his sophomore album and none of the inspiration, but maybe all he needs is someone like Harry Styles to turn all that around.

I Just Wanna Give You Love

larry | 18k

the one where the world is in black and white until you meet your soulmate, but Harry is world famous and Louis is...well...not.

(That's Just) The Way I Am

larry | 17k

There was no way Harry would want to bring anyone out for an introductory trip like this. The fighting between himself and his father was sure to be be worse than usual and father still hadn’t accepted Harry’s pansexual identity. Harry wasn’t dating anyone at the moment, but at this point he almost wished he were dating a man just so he could incense his father.

The door jingled, pulling Harry’s attention away from the window and to the man who had just walked into the cafe.

Now that was exactly who Harry should try bringing home. The man was dressed in ratty black skinny jeans and what was obviously a self cut tank top that used to be a Stone Roses t-shirt. His black chucks had holes in the canvas, indicating exactly how old they were, and his maroon beanie wasn’t in much better shape.

The more Harry studied the man’s smoky eyeliner rimmed eyes and the lipstick he had swiped on to match his hat, the more Harry started hatching an idea. What if Harry really did bring this man home?

Can I Have Your Attention, Please?

tomlinshaw | 16k

the one where Nick develops a crush on the man whose bag he accidentally grabs at the airport. It is obviously just a coincidence that the man shares a first name with the pop star whose Instagram Nick lusts after as well.

This is a Rainbow War

larry | 15k

the one where Harry's a famous singer, Louis is part of his road crew, and after Harry gives Louis a special assignment regarding rainbow flags, things maybe turn out a little differently than either of them planned.

You Turned Up (Like a Friend of Mine)

larry | 10k

the one where Harry disappears on graduation day only to show up on Louis' door looking exactly the same ten years later. Through a series of strange events, maybe they can finally figure out that they're destined to be together, no matter what.

Hey Look, Ma

larry | 8.8k

the one where Louis is a hybrid who agrees to go on a blind date with his neighbour's colleague's son the same night he literally runs into his dream man. Surely this isn't going to end well... or is it?

Great Minds (They Think Just the Same)

tomlinshaw | 8.2k

the one where in an attempt to get the Breakfast Show back to the number one morning show in the country, the BBC brings on Louis as a co-host with Nick. They only thing is they don't really get along... until they do.

Our Love is Timeless

shiall | 6.2k 

the one where Shawn falls for Niall, who just happens to be a time traveler. The course of true love never did run smooth.

You're Here, Where You Should Be

larry | 5.5k

three years after having last seen her best friend, Louis shows up at the Christmas party Harry's family throws every year. Old feelings might not be as buried as Harry had thought.

Charisma

larry | 5.3k

the one where Harry feeds on awesomeness (possibly literally). Louis is awesome and also angry. They’re probably going to fall in love

Stealing Flowers

larry | 4.2k

the one where Louis pines after the Sexy Stranger on the Subway and almost asks him out. That's when the strange posters start showing up around Brooklyn.

Oh Honey, Honey

larry | 3.6k

the one where Louis pines after Harry, Harry is passionate about helping save the bees, and a late night shopping trip gone wrong doesn't end quite as horribly as Louis imagines.

Just Like Honey

larry | 3.4k 

Louis opened the door and he looked so soft and beautiful. He was in a ratty pair of grey joggers and that was it. Harry had never seen him look so good.

When Harry finally raised his eyes from Louis’ chest, he realised Louis had likely said something.

“Uh,” Harry said, clearing his throat. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Smirking a little, Louis crossed his arms and popped his hip. “I said, ‘Hello, Harry. What brings you here so late on a Saturday?’”

Then his brain kicked in.

“Right, fuck. Hi, Louis. I just wanted to give you this.”

Louis’ brows creased as Harry held the honey out to him. Taking the jar from Harry, he said, “Honey?”

Nodding, Harry said, “Yep. Hope you have a great night!”

Fisting his hands at his sides in frustration, Harry left the building as quickly as he could.

A Taste of Honey

grouis | 3.3k

the one where Louis has been pining after Greg ever since he started his job. Greg randomly showing up at his flat with a jar of honey might be just the push Louis needs to finally talk to the man.

Yellow, Is It Me You're Looking For?

grouis | 3.2k

the one where Louis has pined after Greg for what seems like ages, but when Greg renames the company's paint colors, something might finally be ready to give.

Honey, Honey, How You Thrill Me

garry | 2.8k 

the one where Harry pines after fellow Radio 1 DJ Greg James but doesn't know how to start a conversation with him...until he gets the needed inspiration.

Like Honey to the Bee

tomlinshaw | 2.7k

the one where Nick has been trying to find a way to get past the banter stage with Louis for ages, and honey might be just what he needs to finally do so.

If You Want To Be Loved

grouis | 0.4k

Greg can't sleep. For once, he doesn't really mind.

BONUS drabble collections:

Drabbles for Harry's Birthday Drive 2019

multi | 24k

Each chapter is a different drabble dedicated to a person who donated to Harry's birthday drive! The prompt requested as well as the pairing are in the author’s note for each chapter as well. There are multiple pairings due to various pairings being requested by the donors, so please pay attention to that information in each chapter! Pairings include Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam,, Grimmy/Louis, Greg/Louis, Zayn/Louis, and Niall/Shawn.

It Was Only a Kiss

multi | 15k

I participated in a kiss prompt drabble challenge on Tumblr, and ended up writing thirty-three drabbles! Because of the amount all for one challenge, I decided to post them on AO3 to save them. Each prompt exists on its own without relation to others, so pick and choose as you like.