#my first rejection wowowow

[random-introverted-blog]

I'm really enjoying your fic His Star - His Queen. Haven't played the game to be honest, I just came across your fic looking up obsessive/possessive behavior tags on AO3 and became obsessed with Astarion when I looked at YouTube videos. I don't have a AO3 account so I'm glad you put a link to your Tumblr. Do you have any fic recommendations from AO3 or Tumblr? Are there any fics where spawn!Astaraion and asscended!Astarion are twins?

Wowowow that's amazing! I'm beyond flattered that I helped you discover… well… all of this! Thank you for the compliment, it means so much to me. Glad you found the link to my tumblr helpful!

Well then, welcome to the bg3 and Astarion fandom. I'd be happy to give you a tour! See, this is where we keep all the batstarion content, this is where the Spawn Astarion and Ascended Astarion girlies fight duels to the death and over there is one of their many warzones. You see that in the distance? That's the dark place.

We don't talk about what's in the dark place. But the spot adjacent is where the Astarion fanfiction writers are allowed to see their friends and loved ones! See, we Astarion fanfiction writers are shackled to our keyboards 6 out of 7 days of the week and are only allowed to step away to use the bathroom… maybe even shower.

But I digress. While I love the concept of Astarion having an evil twin, I don't know of any like that. The common concept people go for when writing them in the same space - is that one time traveled from another reality (like HS-HQ). All of my reccomendations are on AO3 and I'll of course link them as we go! Fair Warning! These will have some elements of dubious consent, outright Non-con and/or a wide array of abuse. Emotional, mental, and physical. Please take any tags and warnings the authors use seriously! Read responsibly!

Lose yourself in me by Cesela

Completed and my all-time favorite Ascended Astarion story, hands down. The detailed and immersive writing, and the way Astarion is portrayed, I still reread it all to this day.

The Summary: When an ascended Astarion offers to make you his dark consort, his right hand, his most beloved vampire spawn, you reject the offer. However it appears he was not as willing to give you up as you were first led to believe. Your heart always belonged to the road, yet each twist and turn always brings you right back to Baldur’s gate. To him.

Tav goes on a journey of self and literal exploration after the events of Baldur's Gate and sort of takes up living with Gale in Waterdeep. But Astarion's shadow of obsession stalks her wherever she roams in Faerun. Their dynamic is addicting to read, the push and pull, the dialogue, the way it pulls at my heartstrings. This story had me instantly hooked, and I waited eagerly for every update until the very end. Honestly, just thinking about how much I loved this story could make me feral.

The Price of Freedom by Fawlhacee

Ongoing and dark as hell. It has Gale x Tav pairing that is the evident true pairing. It could surprise me by ending with Astarion x Tav but I'm usually not wrong - I've read enough fanfiction to have a solid idea of where a writer is intending their story to end.

The Summary: One year after saving Baldur's Gate, you and your future husband, the Wizard of Waterdeep, return to Baldur's Gate to announce the news to your parents. What you don't yet know is that your time together is limited, and your former companion will do everything to claim you as his own for eternity

Again, I love the way Astarion is written here. He's an absolute menace that you watch isolate and manipulate Tav into his gilded cage of horrors. The first two chapters are set up chapters with the Astarion x Tav story kicking off in Chapter 3. Starts off eerily pleasant and rapidly descends into dark, twisted and scheming Astarion. Definitely been an enjoyable read!

Oblivion & Obsession by alcetryx

Ongoing and even darker than The Price of Freedom, I think. Right from the gate, you know this is going to be a creepy, twisted ride like a stroll through a haunted carnival.

The Summary: You don't remember the terrifyingly handsome and cruel Vampire Lord of Baldur's Gate, but he remembers you. He insists on holding you to a vow you insist you never made. As the fragments begin to fall into place, you begin to piece together a puzzle. But to do so, you must question what you know, and separate truth from deception. Those who you swore you could trust suddenly appear much less honest.

Tav doesn't remember Astarion and I'm not sure how much I can say about it because of spoilers. It's a somewhat slow simmer until Astarion is actually introduced and not just an ominous, hushed whisper that isn't named. But everything after definitely sends you off on the rollercoaster of Astarion's behavior, emotions and the captor-captive dynamic between them while Tav tries to navigate the danger of him without remembering who he is. Also, the writers update schedule has my head spinning, very consistent, bonus points to them and an extra round of applause.

Bonus for the similar premise: Mirror, Mirror by ElleKhen

It's part 4 of a series but I didn't read the other 3. It's a good read if you're interested in Male Tav x Astarion.

The Summary: Years following the defeat of the Absolute, Church and Astarion have made a new life — a challenging, but happy life — for themselves in the Underdark. But after a ritual goes wrong, Church finds himself waking up in the arms of a different Astarion, in a world where a single decision led to a very different and devastating outcome to their story. While the Astarion and Gale of his world work tirelessly to bring him back home safe, Church fights not just to understand this new world and how his lover has changed in it, but also to retain his sovereignty in mind and body so that he may find his freedom from the elf his other self once loved.

It has Ascended vs Spawn, but they don't really exist in the same reality like in HS-HQ. It's sort of spoilery to say more than that. I will say [SPOILER] that I wish the ending touched more on the trauma that OC Tav would have from the ordeal inflicted on him by Ascended Astarion. As sweet as it is that they can easily identify the difference between Spawn and Ascended and reconcile it. There's just something sweeter about struggling with your trauma and having a supportive partner, and finding your happiness with them despite it [END SPOILERS]

Those are the three that come to mind and I'm sure I could recommend more, but I know this answer is really long already. Thank you again, so much! I'm stunned and flattered by your compliment that I'm sort of at a loss for words <3 Hopefully those recommendations are what you're looking for!

BEFORE YOU GUYS GET ON ME FOR NOT RECOMENDING OTHER LARGER STORIES: I haven't read Hellish, and I haven't kept up with Unravel. It's not that I don't like those stories or the authors, I actually like their blogs but I don't know them personally or anything. So that they're not mentioned is nothing against them. Besides, those are stories larger than HS-HQ or the ones I listed, even including Lose yourself in me to an extent. Give the smaller guys a chance out here.

I've been in fandoms where my work would be buried under the much larger stories. Only to have someone somewhat higher on the totem pole give me a shout-out or something and pull my fic up to breathe. So let me try to be that for them.

[smalleevee]

wowowow reject modernity return to god honoring tumblr tradition

thank you @gnarlystarships for tagging me in a lovely opportunity to yap a bit and get to know some people better <3

three ships: is this a safe space? bc...doctor/rose (dr who), steve/eddie (boycott ST), and jeanmarco (AOT) are all i can even think of rn

first ship: jeanmarco baby the aot brainrot was so real and i still re-read some of those fics to this day just to feel something

last song: V.A.N / Bad Omens feat. Poppy (i don't particularly listen to either artist but i was curious bc i saw the metalcore girlies talking about it and ngl it kinda fucks just not super my thing but i am going to recommend it to a friend i know will love it)

last film: Saltburn which spoiler i didn't love - the actors? hot. talented. the set? the cinematography? sexy. well done. the plot? had me hooked in the first half! but the entire last third of the movie was just...not for me sorry </3

currently reading: Ether Day by Julie M. Fenster (non-fiction about the first surgery performed using general anesthetic) AND finally 3 years after the party ended - Gideon the Ninth

currently craving: pistachio latte my beloved....

favorite color: jewel tones!! but especially deep reds!!!

relationship status: single, avoidant, and yearning <3

last thing i googled: when do library cards expire followed by renew library card [redacted-city where i live]

current obsessions: doctor who / the hunk of free gouda i got from work yesterday / this playlist / the concept of aesthetic vs. substance / just ripping into a ripe orange / danandphilgames

i don't interact with anyone so uhh...i tag nine beloved friends and strangers to pass this along if they'd like <3

@seilon @applemyjack @mouse-monster @strggler @miaobviously @crassjellyfish @flynnmoore

[leebrontide]

tagged by: @catchingbigfish -- thank you! tagging: @doriangravesftw, @purlturtle, @rhea-ewing and @seeingteacupsindragons

three ships: Harrow/Gideon, Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Loid & Yor Forger

first ship: Vanyel/Tylendel XD Lord that makes me feel old. I reread them about a year ago and wowowow they did NOT hold up. Still, The Last Herald Mage trilogy holds a special place in my heard for being the ONLY gay books I could get my hands on in 1996.

last song i listened to: Wait for Me, from Hadestown. All these Orpheus and Eurydice posts got me.

last movie i watched: Strange World, which has very fun visually. Like candy in movie form.

currently reading: Unmasking Autism: The New Faces of Neurodiversity. It's for sure the best work I've read about Autism ever and I know I'm going to be loaning it out all over the place to friends and clients.

currently watching: Chip and Potato. Not even my favorite prek kids show, due to the copaganda, but Starling has demonstrated that she can understand and reject the copagand, so she can watch the obnoxious pug show. I'd rather be watching Magic School Bus.

currently consuming: Black tea with sugar, prepared by my wife and 5 year old kid, because today is my sleeping in day.

currently craving: I gave up beef for environmental reasons about 6 months ago, but tonight we're going to a fancy restaurant for "Valentines Day" (IE "we could find a babysitting and the restaurant wont be so crowded" day) and I know from experience that they have fantastic steak that I'm not going to eat. But, the smoked chicken pot pie sounds good!

[toutallyahoe]

Flirt ~ Shinsō Hitoshi (BNHA)

Requested By: --

A/N: this'll be a series but my dear gremlins... pray to a god that ill actually follow through the fucking outline i have written and have the motivation to write because lmao

also, wowowow bnha yall? and here i thought i outgrew my weeb phase but guess not! now, dont spoil me shit please because i still have no clue what the fuck is happening in the fandom since i havent touched any anime for fucking months (well, except me watching four episodes of free! two weeks ago but shhhhhh) so dont fucking be cunt to spoil, yeah? lmao thanks and enjoy this shit ajsvdjskdbjsb

fun fact, this was supposed to be only 500-800 words but GUESS WHO GOT TOO INTO THIS SHIT AND WRITTEN 3600 PLUS WORDS YALL?!?!?!?!?

Flirt | Flirt 2 | Flirt 3

─────────────────

Hitoshi let out a tired sigh leaving his lips as he shoves his hands on the pockets of his hoodie. A frown on his lips as he tried to hide his face inside the purple scarf wrapped around his neck, hiding away from the cold breeze passing by.

It was a cold day, that can be said and Hitoshi wished to just stay in his warm bed while being cocooned with his comforters and blankets to keep him from suffering the cold air of January while sleeping probably until noon, if he was lucky that is and not have his mom wake him up. Sadly, Hitoshi was asked by his one (and only) friend to meet up and hang out and the indigo haired knew that no matter how many times he flat out disagrees, the [Hair color] haired male always was a stubborn one. And once he makes up his mind, he'll drag Hitoshi along with him.

"This better be worth it," Hitoshi grumbled as he was still angry to leave the comforts of his bed and warm room to be outside with the January air being cold and having no clue where he was. With a sigh, Hitoshi remembered how [Name], his friend, basically begged him to accompany him to the new cafe that opened. Hitoshi would have flat out reject the [Hair color] haired male if it wasn't for [Name]'s four words he uttered yesterday.

It was a cloudy, Friday morning. The first period was over and each class has a ten minute break before the next teacher comes in to discuss whatever subject they had planned for the young minds of each of their classes. Hitoshi distinctly remembered that the next period teacher was absent for today and with that knowledge, the indigo haired male decided to spend the ten minute break and aswell as the next period doing something important. Sleeping.

The indigo haired male suffered from the lack of sleep. With his hectic sleep schedule and insomia just kicking in, Hitoshi has limited amount of sleep and it can be known with the large bags underneathe his eyes. It doesn't help that he had to finish some homework his teachers had pilled up to them. So, Hitoshi decided he'll sleep than study or chatter with his classmates like the others are currently doing. The indigo haired male let out a sigh and he positioned himself to be comfortable on his seat and plopped his arms on his desk and was about to slam his head onto his arms when a loud bang echoed inside the room.

Due to the loud noise, it made a lot of students shriek in fear and stopped whatever they were doing and snapped their heads on where the loud noise was heard. The loud bang they heard was from door of the classroom slammed open with so much forced that some pondered how the hinges of the door was still intact. But what everyone focused was the figure stood there, clad in the familiar clothing of the male's uniform of the school although the uniform was now wrinkled here and there and the student's hair was messy and all over. His hand was gripping the doorknob tightly as the student was panting harshly and gasping for air, indicating that he had did something to actd that way, and everyone knew it was running.

"HITOSHI!!!" The figure screamed when be had gathered his bearings and immediately, everyone recognized that it was none other than the school's resident ray of sunshine, [Name] [Last name].

[Name] stood tall and proud when he finished gasping for air. Wiping the sweat off his forehead as he sent a beaming smile to everyone as he frantically looked around the room but then his gaze directed to the said male he screamed their name out.

"Hito-chan!" [Name] had happily called out to the indigo haired male as skipped inside the indigo haired male's classroom. Not minding the lively chatter that comtinued before he interrupted from the other students that were still inside the room nor the way their eyes following him approaching the indigo haired male that everyone enjoyed to avoid like the plague. As [Name] was close, he immediately threw himself to Hitoshi and hugged the male who gave him an unimpressive stare with his actions.

"Let's go out together this saturday!" [Name] suggested as he smiled at his friend who he felt slumped on his arms, clearly lazy and tired. "I found this new cafe and I think you'll like this one!" He had happily said as Hitoshi grunted on his arms.

"No," Hitoshi bluntly disagreed and shoved [Name] away from him. Hitoshi's surprising actions made [Name] let out a yelp and almost stumbled back. It doesn't help that the realization hit him on the indigo haired male's answer, he frowned for a second but then jumped back to his childish attitude. Hitoshi did not mind his friend's sputtering on his answer as he prompted his arms on his desk and placed his head on them. "And stop calling me that!" Hitoshi grunted as he closed his eyes as the indigo haired male wanted to sleep for a bit before the break was over.

"Huh?!? But why?!?" [Name] pouted and whined as he looked at Hitoshi. The indigo haired male let out a groan when he felt the [Hair color] haired male shake him by the shoulders.

"Hito-chan! Don't just sleep on me!" [Name] whined to his indigo haired friend in annoyance. "Tell me why!"

Hitoshi grumbled incoherent words to himself as he raised his head and opened his eyes to glare at his friend who still was shaking his shoulders. "Stop being immature, idiot," Hitoshi grumbled ad he rolled his eyes at his friend's childish and immature actions on puffing his cheek and crossing his arms over his chest, acting like a toddler being mad.

"Am not!" [Name] grumbled as he then pouted. "Why are you such a meanie, Hito-chan... and answer my question!" He whined as Hitoshi rolled his eyes again. Christ, why was he friends with [Name] again? Who even says meanie as an insult anymore other than four and five years old?

"Because I said so," came Hitoshi's blunt answer which made the [Hair color] haired male whine louder. [Name] frowned as he looked at Hitoshi who did not paid mind to him and was about to lay his head on his arms again to try and sleep.

"Come on Hito-chan!" [Name] had begged as he drop down on his knees and kneeled down beside sitting form of his best friend. His hand cupped together in front him as he gave his best puppy dog eyes to his indigo haired best friend who didn't even looked at him. "Please, Hitoshi?" He begged, using Hitoshi's proper name and not the one he calls to the indigo haired male. "I promise you'll enjoy this one!" [Name] pleaded.

Hitoshi narrowed his purple eyes and took a glance at his [Hair color] haired friend who was still in the floor, kneeling and trying to coerce him with his puppy dog eyes that was definitely NOT working. Hitoshi sighs as his ears picked up the sound of chattering surrounding him. 'Right, we're still in class... this is so embarrassing...' Hitoshi grumbled on his thoughts as he closed his eyes.

"Please Hitoshi!" [Name] shouted when the indigo haired male was too silent for his liking. As the [Hair color] haired male stayed there on the ground, not moving from his kneeling position. Hitoshi thought over his words on hanging out together on Saturday. After a few more seconds, Hitoshi finally made his final decision.

"No," came Hitoshi's final and blunt reply. Still unchanging despite the [Hair color] male's efforts on pleading and begging for him to consider.

"Hitoshi!" [Name] cried out as he whined at the indigo haired male who went back to placing his head on his arms to get some sleep.

"I'll pay for everything!" [Name] had said. It seemed like those were the magic words as he saw the indigo haired male crack one eye open to look at him. There was a hum from the tired male as [Name] begged to whatever deities listening to him currently that they would give him some good karma and bless him to have his friend accompany him.

As [Name] begged some higher beings to make the indigo haired male reconsider his answer, Hitoshi thought about it again. Was it worth waking up early to meet up with the [Hair color] haired male? Was it worth not getting some much needed sleep just to hang out with this male who Hitoshi swore doesn't know what quietness or silence is?

"... fine..." Hitoshi grumbled out his agreement as what is more better than food? Free food and Hitoshi will make sure the [Hair color] haired male will have an empty wallet after tomorrow. Hitoshi saying his agreement had closed his eyes again and tried to get some sleep. Not minding [Name] immediately stood up from his kneeling position and fist pumped the air while screaming "yeah!" in excitement.

Hitoshi sighs as he stopped walking and looked around the area he was in. The indigo haired frowned and looked at the sky in annoyance, he then looked back around again and tried to remember if he was in the right place on where his [Hair color] haired friend was supposed to join him to take him to the cafe he was obsessing on taking Hitoshi there. Tapping his shoe in annoyance at the pavement, Hitoshi let out a tired sigh as he then took his phone out from his hoodie's pocket and unlocked it. Pressing on the massaging icon, the indigo haired male immediately pressed the very top of the messages with the familair name displayed and he began typing, rather annoyedly as he did.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

where are you?

[08:22 AM]

Hitoshi typed and sent it when done as he stood and looked arpund again. He was standing in the sidewalk from a busy street where people, young and old walk around and minding their own business. On some occasions, Hitoshi would see some people with unique quirks. The indigo haired male had to hold his sjort when he saw a businessman with a head shaped like a cactus. As Hitoshi looked around and waited for his [Hair color] haired friend, his phone vibrated on his hand. His screen lit up, indicating it recieved something to have its user be notified. And the indigo haired male saw the sender's name which made Hitoshi let out a tired sigh.

Idiot (◕ω◕✿) sent (3) messages

Hitoshi opened his inbox and tapped the most recent messages that he received and the indigo haired male saw what his friend had replied. If he can, Hitoshi would have liked to slap [Name] when he saw the messages.

TO: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

FROM: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

IM SORRY FOR BEING LATE HITOSHI!!! .·´¯'(>□<)´¯'·

[08:27 AM]

I OVERSLEPT AND I HAD TO FEED TOSHI \(๑>д<๑)/

[08:27 AM]

DONT WORRY IM ON THE TRAIN GOING THERE ASDFGHJKLL ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

[08:28 AM]

The indigo haired male stared at his screen for a moment as he then raised one of his hand and slapped it on his forehead. "My God... [Name]..." Hitoshi grumbled underneath his breathe as he began to type his reply.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

hurry up idiot

[08:32 AM]

or else im leaving

[08:33 AM]

After sending those two text, Hitoshi immediately gotten a reply and he didn't have to look at the screen of his phone which displayed the messages to know that his [Hair color] haired friend was whining at him on being a 'meanie' and begging him not to ditch [Name].

Not a few seconds later, Hitoshi's phone vibrated. The indigo haired let out an annoyed grunt as he tap the green icon to receive the call from [Name] as he then placed the phone on his ear. Hitoshi winced and had to hurriedly pull his phone away from his ear with how loud [Name] was on the other line.

"HITO-CHAN!!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!" [Name] cried out on the indigo haired male's phone. Hitoshi had to gather his bearings from the [Hair color] haired male's voice. Hitoshi swore that [Name] sometimes had that loud pro-hero's voice, Present Mic. Both being incredibly loud and their voices goes annoying real fast.

"HITO-CHAN PLEASE WAIT FOR ME!!! IM ALMOST THERE!!!" Hitoshi let out series of grumbles as he listened to [Name] beg for him to wait. Hitoshi wonders why he even bother with his friend. Looking around, Hitoshi noticed he was getting some looks, from judgmental, curious to annoyed ones. It made the indigo haired embarrassed.

"Keep quiet," Hitoshi hissed as he felt heat creeping in on his cheeks from the looks of passersby he was getting from the loud [Hair color] haired male on his phone. "I'll wait but just... shut up, idiot," Hitoshi grumbled as he heard [Name] thanked him profusely on the other line. The indigo haired male rolled his eyes at his friend's attitude and had to stop himself from snorting when he heard [Name] getting scolded on the other line from how loud he was. 'Idiot...'

"A-ah! I'm so sorry for the disturbance!" Hitoshi heard his [Hair color] haired friend apologize. There was another voice piping on the other line aswell as shuffling. The indigo haired wondered where his friend was. 'He said he was close?' Hitoshi thought. 'But he also said that he was still in the train...'

Hitoshi was about to end the call when [Name] continued talking, more quietly than before. "Hey, Hito-chan?" [Name] had called out. The said male hummed to show he was listening as Hitoshi looked around the area again to see people walking pass by him.

"Yeah?"

"I... well..." Hitoshi raised his brow at his friends uncharacteristic hesitation but the indigo haired nale did not mind. The indigo haired male knew that [Name] always goes head first in situations and did not think about it. Hitoshi found that attitude of his to be stupid really but [Name] was [Name], and his friend always gets it in the end. "Thank you for being my friend..."

Hitoshi paused. Gripping his phone tightly, there was a smile on his lips as he rolled his eyes at the [Hair color] haired male's words.

"Yeah... sure... whatever, idiot..."

Hitoshi looked at the time on his phone and let out an annoyed sigh when he saw it was twenty-two minutes after [Name] had called him and ended the call with the [Hair color] haired male promising he was close by already.

'Yeah right... close my ass...' Hitoshi thought as he bit his bottom. The male was still not here and it made Hitoshi regretted leaving his bed more than ever. 'At least he should've have the decency to come in time...'

Hitoshi swears that when he sees his friend, he'll slap the [Hair color] haired male for being late. The indigo haired male knew that he will make his friend buy the most expensive stuff in this cafe they were going so [Name] will regret inviting him and being late. But either way, Hitoshi liked watching the cars and people passed by, the indigo haired male just wished it wasn't so goddamn cold and that he was actually sitting than standing like a dumbass in the middle of the sidewalk as he waited for his friend.

Looking at his phone again, Hitoshi decided to pass the time by playing games on his phones. It was already twenty-six minutes since the call and despite [Name] assuring him that he'll be there, he still wasn't and Hitoshi did not want to think what made his friend so late. He knew [Name] always had a terrible skills in time management. The [Hair color] haired male can either be ten minutes early or twenty minutes late, there is no inbetween and the indigo haired male wished [Name] was the former for atleast this outing but it seemed like lady luck was not on his side. Well, when was she always on his side? She never was as he grew up anyways. Having born with a villaino--

"HITO-CHAN!!!"

"GAH!!!" Hitoshi almost dropped his phone and would have been thrown to the ground if he had not steadied himself on time. That still not prevented the indigo haired male to be scared out of his wits and a frightened scream leaving his lips when he felt a body colliding behind him aswell as weight distributed on his back and arms wrapped around his neck, tighly.

"Hito-chan!" The said male let out quiet curses as he turned to look behind him to see the male he was waiting shining him a beaming smile. "Hito-chan! Im so glad you didn't ditch me," [Name] had said as he nuzzled his face on the other male's cheek.

Hitoshi felt his face burned in embarrassment from his best friend's affectionate gesture. And not to mention [Name] was being so close to him in public. Hitoshi's cheeks were painted a light shade of pink flush as he turned his head the other way from his friend.

"I almost did..." Hitoshi muttered as [Name] guffawed at his answer with his [Eye color] eyes widen from Hitoshi's words. "Now... g-get off me idiot!" Hitoshi had exclaimed as he tried to push his friend away but [Name] whined at him.

"Hito-chan!" The [Hair color] haired whined in a childish way. "Don't be mean!"

"Idiot! Just-- get off me! It's embarrassing," Hitoshi retorted as the [Hair color] haired male pouted but complied with his words. Not without one last whine about the indigo haired male being so cold towards him which amde Hitoshi roll his eyes at his words.

"Whatever..." Hitoshi had said as he adjusted the scarf of his neck and avoided his [Hair color] haired friend's eyes as [Name] turned to look at him with a bright smile.

"Here you go Hito-chan!" The [Hair color] haired male had pushed a white plastic bag towards the indigo haired male's chest. His actions made Hitoshi turned to look at him with surprise on his face as he took the bag. [Name] still had that smile on his lips as he looked at Hitoshi.

"What... what's this?" Hitoshi asked, confused as he looked down on the white blastic bag on his hand. Hitoshi heard [Name] awkwardly laughed as the [Hair color] haired male rubbed the nape of his neck. If Hitoshi would have looked, he would have saw the soft pink flush on [Name]'s [Skin color] cheeks.

"Ah, well..." [Name] had started as he awkwardly coughed onto his fist. "I knew I would be really late so I... kinda decided to stop at this small shop near here to buy you an apology gift..." He had explained as Hitoshi looked up towards him again then back at the bag. [Name] flashed Hitoshi a grin, silently urging his indigo haired friend to see what's inside the plastic. "Hope you'll like it Hito-chan."

Hitoshi opened the plastic and had one of his hand to reached inside. There was something small and round. That's what Hitoshi had felt and with curiosity swallowing him whole, the indigo haired male pulled it out. Hitoshi couldn't help but softly smile. On his hand, it was a small keychain. The keychain was shaped like a cat with its paint being purple and had a droppy eyes. There was a small mischievous grin on the cat's face as it stood in two legs while one of its paw was raised to signify it was waving. Oddly enough, Hitoshi thought the small cat was to signify it was him.

"When I saw that... it kinda reminded me of you..." [Name] confessed.

[Name]'s comment made Hitoshi feel something inside. It was sweet, Hitoshi could not lie as he looked at the purple cat keychain on his hand. His [Hair color] haired friend thought of him when he bought this. Maybe he'll not rob [Name] off of his money for being late when they get to this cafe. It made Hitoshi feel happy--

"I mean... it had Hito-chan's tired, grinning face!" Scratch that. [Name] was still the dumbass that he was and the indigo haired male is going to order every expensive stuff to leave him broke.

Hitoshi turned to look at [Name] and would start to nag the [Hair color] haired male's ear off when the male had reached down and took his unoccupied hand and began to walk away, dragging Hitoshi with a smile on his face.

"Now, come on Hito-chan!" [Name] had said. His tone excited and happy as he looked forward and not looking at Hitoshi who walked behind him, a bit dumbfounded from his actions on just dragging him along. "The cafe is a few blocks away from here!"

"You could've had sent me the damn address so I could've waited inside..." Hitoshi bit his bottom lip and rolled his eyes. He tightly held the keychain on his hand as he caught up to his friend's pace.

Now, the indigo haired male walked side by side with the [Hair color] haired male who if Hitoshi would've looked, the indigo haired male would have saw the soft smile on his lips and a pink hue on his cheeks as they walked together towards the direction of the cafe in [Name]'s lead, hand in hand. And if [Name] would've looked at Hitoshi, the [Hair color] haired male would have saw Hitoshi held a small soft smile on his lips.

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NEXT >

[nyisles]

Magic In The Hamptons

~ part two, be kind ~ 

part one

Player: Mathew Barzal 

Words: around 3.3k 

Warnings: language?

Notes: wowowow, part one was so well received that I honestly just pray you folks enjoy. Anywho, she’s here and she’s unedited :-) 

Now it was just a game. How long does one wait to text someone back after they disappear for three weeks? You hadn’t thought much of it after week two. The first week you were a little down on yourself, spent a little too much time wondering what exactly was the problem? It was a constant topic of conversation amongst you, your girlfriends, your work friends, and Reese who all seemed to love to talk about your nonexistent love life. They also didn’t quite understand the magnitude of ‘professional hockey player’ who ghosted, it cut a little deeper than your regular ghosting. You felt like maybe the Islander wags’ advice wasn’t even worth it, you should’ve just gone home with him. Maybe he felt rejected, but you never outwardly said no? Right now you wished you had Grace’s number. An SOS text was what you really needed, and she seemed to really be clued in on Mat. This absolutely sucked, he decided after three weeks you were worth the text and it didn’t give your ego a boost at all. Something that Mat didn’t fail to do when you were together at the wedding. You were a big self love, forget about those who don’t want you kinda girl, but God you couldn’t help but want to text him immediately. Your heart sped up and the butterflies in your stomach kicked into overdrive after you saw the text. It wasn’t even a drunk text. It was a casual 3pm text message, which made it hit a little different.          “Maybe you could wait like...a week?” Reese said laying back on the couch in your studio apartment scrolling through his phone, not paying you any mind. He was great at getting you into this whole mess, taking you to a wedding you weren’t even invited to. Now he was here and unable to give you any sort of boy advice. At this point in your friendship you should’ve known, but you had no one else who understood the scenario. He was one of your best friends. His legs hanging over the armrest dangling along as you paced back and forth of the apartment, fuzzy socks sliding along the hardwood floor. “You know, I think this whole thing is dumb. Just answer the guy. He texted you for a reason.” The pout on your face said otherwise, you didn’t find this dumb at all. This was a serious matter. “I need more female friends. You are no help. Yesterday you called me a 6 with a personality!” You exclaimed, pushing his legs off the side of the couch making room for yourself to sit down. Throwing yourself onto the couch you feel into a slumped position. “I need someone well versed in hockey boy, you just aren’t cutting it.”        Within seconds Reese grabbed your phone off of the coffee table in front of you, unlocking your phone with great ease. It was moments like these where you regretted letting him know all of your passwords. The next moment happened in what felt like slow motion, but as soon as he picked up your phone you knew you were doomed. Reese was always like an older brother figure, someone who could embarrass you in less than a minute. Watching his fingers type away, you attempted to lunge for the phone but it was too late, you never thought he’d follow through with the action, but he did, locking the phone throwing it back at you on the couch. “Six’s with personalities deserve love too.. Or at least a hot hookup.”        (Y/N): three weeks and all you got is ‘hey’?        You shrieked reading over the text message Reese had sent to Mat in your honor. “Why would you do that? Are you stupid? Is your brain the size of a literal pea?” With that you saw the beginning and end of your short little fling. This was not part of the advice you got from Grace or any of the other girls. In no way would you ever text any male this, except for maybe Reese because he was an absolute moron. Best friend sabotage is what this would be considered. “Reese, I’m going to close my eyes and when I open them I want you to be out of this apartment, and you can only come back after you’ve bought me lots and lots of apology fries.” Eyes closed you heard footsteps, then your front door open, and close. All of it almost distracted you from the small ding that came from your phone with the screen lighting up to show one new text message. It’d hadn’t even been five minutes from ‘your’ original text. Your eyes sprung open, and that funny feeling in your stomach returned. Heart pounding, you picked the cell phone up off your lap letting out a deep sigh. Facial recognition unlocked it within seconds, but it wasn’t really fast enough. In your head you could only imagine the rude things Mat would say about how it was kind of him to even send you a text, or maybe the text would spring back at you because he decided to block your number.        Mat Barzal: haha, what r u up to?        Mat Barzal: down to chill?        You tried not to be instantaneous with your answer and play it a little bit cooler than his double text, which honestly brought a huge grin upon your face. Suddenly you felt as if your apartment was getting warmer, was it the flush brought upon by the texts or were you just getting more and more nervous? The idea of having to pick out a cute outfit and getting out of this old ratty hoodie seemed nearly impossible which added a special level of stress. Counting down from 60 very slowly you decided you would be able to answer his text, enough time had gone by to not seem overly interested. Internally rolling your eyes at yourself for thinking waiting a whole minute was some sort of accomplishment, slowly typing a reply.        (Y/N): sure, whats the move?        Mat Barzal: finishing up @ the rink, rly craving ice cream if ur cool with that?        (Y/N): lol cheat diet already? Sounds perf.        Mat Barzal: kk cool, drop me a pin. See u in an hour?        After sending Mat your location you liked his message letting him know that worked for you. You felt like you couldn’t really waste time trying to have a conversation through text when you needed to figure out how you were going to go about an ice cream date without flashbacks to any corny and horrible middle school date you had. Just be cool was all you could tell yourself before rummaging through your closet trying not to be the dramatic girl in movies that would say she had nothing to wear with piles and piles of clothes surrounding her. Settling on a pair of your favorite “ass flattering” jeans and a plain white t-shirt. It was only ice cream, you had to remind yourself. There was no reason to do anything more, but you still added a simple necklace and one of those fancy velvet headbands they sell for way too much money after spending a solid 10 minutes scrolling through Sydney Esiason-Martin’s instagram trying to figure out what looked cool.        It was almost scary how perfectly exact Mat’s timing was. Right after an hour on the dot you heard a buzz come through to your apartment, letting you know you had a visitor. “I’ll be right down.” you voiced over the intercom, grabbing your keys and bag. It was a five floor walk up to your apartment and you didn’t want to put this boy through any more torture after a practice. You tried not to keep him waiting too long, but you also went at a slower than normal pace giving yourself enough time to breathe. It was just a boy you’d already been out with. How could this be so bad, you tried to remind yourself. He was just a silly boy dancing around shirtless at a wedding. He stood in the entryway of the apartment building looking around at the paintings on the walls, they were cheap and not well done but it gave the appearance that maybe people with money lived here. He was in a blue and orange islanders hockey t-shirt and sweats, his hair was slicked back and damp, clearly from a post practice shower. Since the last time you saw him, he was clean shaven, no little stubble that had scratched your cheeks during sneaky kisses. His hair was also freshly cut, you liked it, but you also found the long hair to be endearing. To be honest you were just so nervous and excited that you couldn’t even tell which hair you liked better, and you didn’t have time to contemplate it as he called for you. “(Y/N).” Mat said catching your eye, he stepped closer to you, bringing you in for a warm hello hug. He smelt like mint mixed with the kind of bar soap you get at hotels, yet at the same time he smelled familiar and homey. “So I was on yelp and there’s this homemade ice cream spot in and I thought maybe we could go and hang for a little.” A smirk slid upon your face maybe a little too soon, “Yelp?” you joked with Mat. Rolling his eyes, he stuck out his hand for you. “Well are we going or not, (Y/N)?” disregarding your subtle dig. Placing your hand in his you followed his lead out of the apartment lobby. Have you ever been on a first date where someone wanted to hold your hand? Maybe at the end of the date, but this was the beginning. You just silently prayed your hand wouldn’t get sweaty in the meanwhile.        It was a short drive in Mat’s white cadillac, which you had learned was the butt of many jokes. He let you take the aux cord and play whatever you wanted, which was your current September 2019 playlist. Mat was bopping along to it which gave you little butterflies in your tummy. The way his short hair flopped around and the goofy grin on his face just made your heart melt. This was a boy who in such a quick period of time made you feel like you wanted to be near him 24/7. He had an infectious personality. At one point during the car ride you thought he was singing along to Lizzo, but you didn’t want to call him out. Mat was clearly in his element and so comfortable with you that it all just felt fun and exciting. At a red light, he looked over at you and just smiled. He said nothing, but just moved his hand over to yours. Someone needed to let you know how this boy was driving with one hand, while the other was holding onto your own as his thumb traced back and forth. “Alright, I have two rules for us. First being you need to send me this playlist, and any future playlist you make. Second, don’t let me get anything larger than a medium.” You scrunched up your facing almost saying ‘are you really sure about that’ without any words “And I’m now instituting a third rule… Don’t make that face, it reminds me of my mom.” He said letting out a giant cackle. The one you had originally heard at the wedding. It was so stupid, but you liked hearing it and knowing you were the reason for it. You couldn’t help but laugh along with him. - - -        “So I’m thinking two large sugar cones, one for you and one for me. I want cookies and cream, I’m not sure what you plan on having.” You said bumping your hip into Mat as you both stood overlooking the ice cream counter as the teenage girl behind it patiently waited for the official order. “I know you want it and ugh, look.” You said letting out a moan pointing at the barrel of mint chocolate chip. “It’s calling you.”        “Shut up, ice cream whisperer.” Mat chuckled bumping you right back, “We’ll get two large sugar cones. She’ll get cookies and cream, I’ll take...hm.. Buttered pecan.” The girl behind the counter just nodded and went to work as you turned to look at him letting out a small laugh. “Buttered pecan? Grandpa is that you?” you said turning up the banter with Mat. If there was something he seemed to appreciate, it was the way you were able to joke around with him. He was a hockey player for God’s sake, he loved to be chirped. “Oh for sure, I’m the hottest grandpa you’ve ever seen. Have you seen my ass in these pants?” Mat said taking his hands and lightly giving his tush a squeeze for dramatic effect, before being cut off by the now very embarrassed girl serving you ice cream. She mumbled the price and before you could even open your purse to grab your wallet Mat had already paid for it. “I’d say you’ll get it next time, but you’re a bad influence, I don’t know if there will be a next time for ice cream.” You just smiled taking a lick of ice cream, finding a table in the back corner trying to give you both a little bit of privacy so you both wouldn’t embarrass each other any longer. It was like those few weeks with no conversation between you two weren’t a thing, everything flowed naturally between you two. From conversations about your job, to what you’d rather be doing than working and him training, to what you both were currently binging on netflix. “The office is just so good. I end up crying because I’m laughing so hard just about every episode.” Mat said finishing off his ice cream. “I need to show you this episode, you have to come to my apartment.” And with that you were whisked away to the Barzal apartment. - -        It was surprisingly homey, it was all neutral toned except for bits of a royal blue that would peek out in a throw pillow or picture frame. You couldn’t help but wander the apartment (with Mat trailing), looking at the photos he had hung of his family and friends. “I like this one.” you said pointing to a picture of Mat as a kid, making some sort of silly face with who you presumed was his sister, she was practically his twin, but blonde. “You look the same, haven’t changed a bit. Still as goofy looking.” Mat’s face rolled his eyes once more, rubbing his cheeks with the palms of his hands, then reaching out for your arms holding your wrists gently as his eyes pleaded with you, “Why do you hate me?” he gently shook your arms playfully. A small giggle escaped your lips, “Has your mother ever told you when a girl makes fun of you she likes you?” you said quite boldly, taking a step closer to Mat with his hands still wrapped around your arms. He was so much taller than you, and you hadn’t really noticed until just now when you found yourself looking up at him. His eyes were this piercing green you couldn’t look away from, and you just stood for what felt like forever hoping he would get the hint and kiss you again. It only took him a second before leaning in to place a much gentler kiss than those you shared at the wedding and after party, probably because you were completely sober this time. The soft kisses turned into more passionate ones as he moved the both of you from you standing in the hallway of his apartment to lying on his couch in his living room, him gently on top of you careful not to weigh down his whole body’s weight on yours. Maybe you went on kissing him for ten minutes or hours, you couldn’t tell exactly the time. It was kind of mesmerizing, you were totally lost in this boy, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck that wasn’t as long as you had once noted. His hand slowly tracing up your side, slipping underneath your shirt. God it was only the second date, (Y/N), you tried to tell yourself, but you didn’t pull away, nor did you really try.        “Barz? Mat?” was all you heard bringing you two out of your dazed kisses. Pulling your lips away from him as the two of you sat up trying to look as innocent as possible. You didn’t think he had a roommate, but you weren’t quite sure. He really didn’t get that far, and you thought you knew all of his friends, or at least teammates you’d met at the wedding. It was an unfamiliar voice, but a shorter boy with lighter hair walked into the living room with a stupid grin on his face. It would’ve been cute if he hadn’t interrupted. Completely not even noticing you on the couch, he continued to speak, “You’ll never fucking guess who texted me today asking about you...” With that you saw Mat’s face tightened, the happy smiley Mat had disappeared within seconds and you needed to make a mental note of that. Almost as if Mat knew what the boy was going to say. “Tito…” He said distinctly to the boy now standing in front of you two on the couch, it’s like he had seen you with his peripherals but was far too excited to take note of the other human in the room. You couldn’t help, but look down at yourself trying to fix your t-shirt making sure you didn’t look silly… if the boy was to ever take note of the stranger inside Mat's apartment. “No Mat, for real, she said she wanted things to be different, she was thinking of surprising you here.”        “Tito” Mat now spoke a little bit louder and firmer than before. It was almost as if it brought his friend from the cloud of happiness that drifted on. Honestly you could tell this was a conversation you weren’t supposed to hear, and it made you a little sick. Another girl? Surprising Mat? Nothing about this sounded promising in the slightest. And it really only got worse for your feelings. “Whitney clearly fucking wants you back. You sat around all summer practically crying to me and now what…you fucking get her back!”        “Tito, this is my friend, (Y/N).” Mat said bringing this Tito character out of the clouds and back into Mat’s living room where the three of you were. Tito’s eyes just widened, face getting red. “I-uh, Hello.” He said softly unsure of what more to say.          “Mat, this was fun, but uh… I think I’m going to go now.” You said politely standing up, feeling your stomach take a turn. You didn’t even have a ride home. God, it didn’t even matter, you just wanted to leave. Clearly there was some other girl in the picture and it almost disgusted you to know that Mat could act this way with someone when he was clearly interested in some other girl. You reminded yourself once more, boys are disgusting and not to be trusted.        “(Y/N), let me give you a ride home.”        “No. I’m ok.” You said swiftly showing yourself to the door making sure not to look back at the two boys you had left in the apartment. You honestly weren’t sure how you had gotten to your apartment. It would’ve easily been a twenty minute walk, but you were in such a daze that you sat back on the couch somehow back in your own apartment, surrounded by apology fries from Reese as he tried to coax the story of your date. Maybe you should’ve just seen it coming, it was only the second date and it all felt very silly, you were crushing way too hard. You needed something like this to bring you down to earth.  As your thoughts were flying a mile a minute, a ding came from your phone. Your day ending just how it began, with a text from Mat.        Mat Barzal: hey.

[345pm]

Venting twice in the same day?! Wowowow I didn’t think I would. Ha.

I miss him. Barely know him, but I have a massive crush on him, & I’m missing him. I was somewhere in the store today, so I only got to see him from a distance. His cute ass, power walking up & down the aisles. I know a few hours ago I said I was going to stop, but I’m not over him just yet. I know I sound like a weird, psycho bitch. Lol. I saw him once & we spoke today. He looked upset? That might be his normal face, but I was concerned about my mans! Lmaoooo. His eyes were hella red too. I was gonna ask if he was okay, but I was on the middle of talking to someone & he was working anyway.

I tried to stick around after work to see him & maybe chat a little, but I couldn’t catch his ass. Lol. Walking fast af.

I wouldn’t call this love, but idk why I’m crushing so hard over someone I hardly know. Like I get excited everything I see him. He’s not showing any interest in me & I know it yet I still like him. Still don’t want to move on. It’s like I know I should just drop it & move on, but I’m worried (i guess that word could work) that I might miss out on something great with him bc I gave up. Yah see what I mean?

I think he’s really cute, I like how he’s soft spoken, those cute little laughs he does. I like how fast he walks & when he purses his lips together & nods his cute ass head. Love his brown eyes & dark hair. His whiteeeee teeth. Plump, pink lips. He seems easy to talk to so far. I just want to get to know him more bc so far, all I know is his name & where he works. I think I’ve said it before, but he’s almost 30, dropped out of college, but he was going bc he wanted to be a writer. If the information I got was correct, then he’s writing a book now. That information didn’t come from him. A friend told me that. I wanna know more about him, but I want to hear it from him. I think it’s pretty cool he wants to be a writer. Writing definitely isn’t my thing (I only do it for fun & it’s not even good), but if we ever made it far, I’d like to know what he writes about & read it. I lowkey assumed he was a science nerd. Lmaooooo. But I like science so that would’ve been cool! I’m going into the medical field & I love dead bodies & shit. So he could’ve been telling me about atoms & chemicals & shit. The equations for the moons distance from the sun or whatever. Lmfaooo. Bc I would really sit down & listen to him. I hope he has a strong stomach. I can be pretty open & out there. Straightforward, & I have no problem talking about ���taboo” shit. If he wanted to, I’d sit & talking about dead bodies with him. Lol. Like some cool, medical facts & tell him whats what. What this does.

You know what’s ironic? Like maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago, there was a post on here that I reblogged, & it said “A rejection is God’s blessing.” Or something like that. You get the gist though. Ain’t that wildt? Maybe this is God trying to help a sis out & save me from going through hell with my crush? He probably knows something about him. Or my mans who ain’t my mans but to me is still my mans just isn’t interested. JDSKSKSK.

I’ve crushed on guys before, but never like this?! I think it’s affecting me a little more bc I made the first step? Like I guess I’m feeling that bc gained some courage & I’m ready to see where his can go?! Idk, I’m a dumb bitch. Not making any sense rn. Lol. I’m trying to have some hope, but it fr seems like I should stop. I’m stubborn & hardheaded so I probably won’t. I know how everything sounds, but I honestly truly don’t harass him. Like I’m not bothering him like that when he works & bombarding him with questions or anything. I’m not continuously asking him out or anything. I simply admire him from a distance. Lol. If he’s close, I’ll speak & simply say hey & ask how he’s doing. Though I awkwardly asked him out & he never vocally said yes or no, he isn’t ignoring me. He’ll still speak. I’m thankful for that though. Lol.

Lately, I’ve been watching hella interviews about Freddie Highmore. He’s a WAS a child actor for those that may not know him. (I HAD TO EDIT THIS! I’M GLAD I REREAD THIS BC I SAID HE’S S CHILD ACTOR INDICATING THAT HE’S STILL A CHILD. LMAOOOO HELL NO. FREDDIE IS LIKE 28 YEARS OLD. BDAY WAS LAST MONTH). He was in Spiderwick, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Bates Motel, The Good Doctor, & so forth. He’s been in more I’m sure, but those seem to be his more well known work. Anyway, I’ve been crushing on him too. I’ve been crushing on him bc he reminds me of my crush. Lol. Quiet, soft spoken, pretty brown eyes, dark hair. Idk, it’s just how he is in his interviews that reminds me of my boo. That’s why I’ve been interested in him a lot more than usual. Freddie was always cute, but I’m getting into him a lot more. Lmao.

I know that no one reads these, but they’ve been making me feel a little bit better. I hope they make y’all feel a little better too. Hope it helps with any probalems you’re having & can even make you laugh or whatever. I haven’t eaten all day so imma go eat some food my sister cooked. Catch yah laterrrrrrr! I work tomorrow, so fingers crossed that I’ll see him & talk a little. Or a lot. Lol. Peaceeeeeeeee.

[animehcs]

Anonymous: Sebastian, Ciel, William, Ronald, Grell and Undertaker fall in love for the same person at the same time

wowowow okay i kinda abandoned this blog already lmao but this seemed like a fun request, I’m doing headcanons bc thats what im best at hope you like it anon !

Sebastian

if he’s only mildly interested in the person and finds out that so many others like them too, he might just step away from the situation completely, since he doesn’t see relationships and love as a priority in his life

but if he really likes them ooohh boy, stepping away? never heard of that

sebastian isn’t intimidated by the fact that he has rivals, he’s actually pretty confident that the person of interest will go out with him in the end but if he sees william near them things might escalate a little

the only one he will be concerned about is ciel, he doesn’t want to cause major trouble for their relationship so he tries not to be too obvious about his feelings if they’re all in the same room together

will try his best to see them as much as possible, if they work somewhere in the city he will make sure to drop by as often as possible to casually flirt with them

when he’s pretty convinced that they like him back sebastian tries to find the opportunity to talk to them alone and just simply ask them out

he wouldn’t make a big fuss about it, just ask them if they’d like to go on a date with him sometime

if they tell him they like someone else he’d simply accept it and move on

Ciel

by far the most stressed out by the situation, he’s already insecure about himself normally but with so many others trying to get to his person of interest? he would be nervous

tries to just start out by building up a simple friendship, since he’d want to feel comfortable around them

after that he starts slowly dropping hints that he’s interested in them

at the beginning his feelings for them are extremly obvious so whoever he likes would probably realize whats going on pretty quickly, he’s a blushing mess and stutters a lot sebastian finds it very amusing

honestly would kind of talk shit about the others,  not in a very mean way just things like “You know i heard that Ronald is a terrible boyfriend. I wouldn’t date him but that’s just my opinion”

if he sees someone else flirting with them he just gets really pissed and leaves the scene, he’d sulk for a while but make plans on how to pull off something that could impress them

if he finally takes up the courage to ask them to go on a date he’d be incredibly nervous but would try to conceal it

if they reject him he’d be pretty upset about it but he once again tries to hide it and play it cool, he respects their decision after all

he will hold a bit of a grudge against whoever they chose instead of him for a while

William

love? what’s that

it would honestly take him a while to even accept his feelings, the fact that he’s not the only one with them doesn’t make the whole situation any better

even if he admits to himself that he likes them he would still be a bit hesitant to make any moves

he’s not big on flirting so he tries to make his interest shown by talking to them more than usually, meeting up with them and just generally trying to give away that they mean something to him

he drops a few careful questions to find out if they’re interested in someone or if they’d even want to be in a relationship at the moment, before he makes any moves

he tries to ignore his rivals as much as possible, they annoy him and he’d rather just concentrate on the relationship between him and the person he likes

he also tries to hide his feelings from grell and ronald since they would just bother him about it

he does try to ask out the person pretty quickly so the others don’t get any chances to do the same

if they say yes he would be extremly proud of the fact that he triumphed over the others

Ronald

he would honestly just start flirting with them right away

at first he’s not bothered by anyone since he thinks he has just a small crush on them

but once he realizes that his feelings are actually serious he starts getting a bit jealous

he tries to ignore that though and just tells himself that the others don’t stand a chance against him

he and grell actually make a kind of competition out of it

sometimes he even tries to distract others or keep them from seeing who they’re after

back to the flirting he’s completely shameless with it

if they start flirting back? even better

if they’re the kind of person who’s down for that he likes to out to drink with them a lot just so have fun and so the others don’t get the chance to do the same

one evening when they’re out together and drunk ronald will probably just kiss them out of nowhere if he thinks they return his feelings and thinks might escalate a little if u kno what i mean;)

on the next morning he just confesses to them because well after what happened the evening before there’s no going back now

if they end up in a relationship together he makes sure everyone else knows that he won

if they reject him he would actually be pretty hurt by it, he tries to cover it up with humor but deep down he’s upset

Grell

Grell would also be flirting a lot she‘s pretty open about her feelings from the start

so it would be easy for anyone to see that she’s obviously interested in someone

like i said she turns it into a kind of competition and happily rubs the fact that she’s been talking to that person a lot today

she would also try to sabotage others a little and annoy them if she has enough time

sulks when she sees them hang around a lot with someone else and asks them about it afterwards, she wants to make sure she’s their favorite

since her feelings are so obvious it doesn’t take long for her to completely confess and ask them on a proper date

if they say no she’s actually quite understanding and accepts their decision after telling them they should’ve chosen her

she will still go around and openly cry about it in front of others though, probably william who’s annoyed by it but secretly happy that he still might stand a chance

Undertaker

you never know with him

he will definetly start to jokingly flirt with them but since he always jokes around they might not think too much of it at first

he’s smooth, like he will start joking around with them, then go a little into flirt theritory and when they respond he’ll just casually go further and further until they realize woah how did this happen

isn’t bothered by anyone at all he seriously doesn’t care, he just wants to do his thing

he still pays attention to how much they talk to the others and makes sure to just go and talk to them more

if he asks them out he will do it so casually, they might not even realize he means going on an actual date until they’re on it but hey since it’s already happening why not just go with it

his feelings are pretty clear at this point so he doesn’t feel the need to make a big confession

at the end of the date he kisses them and if they respond, well then he has his last confirmation that they like him back

if they reject him he completely accepts it and wishes them the best for their relationship with whoever they chose instead of him

he will be hurt by it but after such a long time of being alive he learned how to deal with a broken heart

I hope this was what you imagined, there will probably be tons of spelling mistakes I’ll correct later since I’m too lazy right now lmao

Requests are: OPEN

[violetclarity]

Can you do rose for the hc pleaseeeee love your blog ❤️❤️❤️

wowowow sorry this took forever I wasn’t really doing these any more but I love rose so much I could not resist!!

realistic: she’s been best friends with Albus basically since birth, despite some bumps along the way as they grew up and realized the larger world wasn’t as kind as their families. The biggest fight they ever had was when they started Hogwarts and Rose told Al that they couldn’t hang out any more because she wanted to make new friends. They didn’t speak until Christmas hols, at which point they had a huge argument at Sunday dinner, they both cried, and they finally made up. Most of their school friends don’t understand why they’re so close, since they seem so different, but as they get older and they both mellow out a little it becomes more obvious that they’re both wickedly smart, incredibly caring, and they have too much blackmail material on each other to ever really stop being friends.

while it may not be realistic it is hilarious: Rose, despite having Hermione as a mother, is raised in the wizarding world and interacts more with the Weasleys than Hermione’s side of her family; as such, she gets her first introduction to Muggle technology from Arthur. Hermione is furious. Rose is forever scarred and will never quite understand how to work a telephone, let alone a computer.

heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends: (ignoring Rose’s whole TCC characterization which crushes my heart) what if Rose is always second to Hugo? She was such a calm baby, never fussed, so easy to bring along to work and keep amused even on busy days. As she got older it was clear she’d inherited her mother’s smarts and her father’s humor - all her classmates liked her, as did her teachers. When Hugo was born he was fussy, and immediately needed more attention; he inherited Ron’s learning disabilities and Hermione’s stubbornness. Because Rose could be given less attention, she was, and then that just sort of…continued, not out of any ill will but because it had become a pattern.

unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own: ROSE AND ALBUS AND SCORPIUS ARE ALL BEST FRIENDS AT HOGWARTS AND ROSE WOULD NEVER BULLY ALBUS AND SCORPIUS WOULD NEVER BE ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN HER AT ALL AND VICE-VERSA THE END

[stylesloveclub]

Okay I do get frustrated with Elain too because like, just talk to Lucien. Whether that be as friends or to break the mating bond it’s not that hard to do. But then I came to realization that unfortunately Lucien is a representation of everything Elain has lost (not Lucien himself because he’s an angel)

Lucien is Fae. Elain as a human was taught to fear them and now she is one of them and every time she sees Lucien it’s a reminder.

Lucien is her mate. Elain was engaged to Greyson, she had her first time with him, she loved him, she trusted him, and the entire reason why he rejected her was because she was now mated to Lucien.

The bond itself snapped into place when she went through the most traumatic moment of her life and whil Lucien only said that they were mates out of shock, it still wasn’t the best timing.

Lucien and Elain have the strongest mating bond seen throughout the series (imo). It snapped into place immediately, there is already a thread connecting them to each other as Lucien tugged on it (Nessian didn’t have a thread until the both accepted each other as mates), she can hear his heart beating through the stone, their mating bond already has a smell (Feyre and Rhysand’s bond wasn’t smelt until they did the deed), and overall they are extremely connected to each other even though Elain is distant which I find very interesting.

Not the topic of everyone being happy my ships atm are: Gwynriel, Elucien, VassaxJurian (Lucien said they were always at each other’s throats and that they were 2 sides of the same coin and I immediately hopped on ship), MorxEmerie. There is a chance that they change but I’m such a sucker for romance that I want everyone with someone.

Sorry for the super long ask😅 is the 🥀 emoji taken or can I use it to undercut myself lmao

ooo u make points bestie. if i were elain i would also not be the biggest fan of being lucien's mate but... he's trying so hard and being so respectful i just hope she gives him a chance :( esp since their bond is so strong like ... it would b very nice :( VASSA AND JURIAN SEEMS INTERESTING WOWOWOW AND I AGREE I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO FALL IN LOVE !!!! also want nesta cassian azriel eiffle tower tho <3 THE EMOJI IS NOT TAKEN BESTIE ! I LOVE HEARING UR ACOTAR THOUGHTS I HAVEN'T HAD ANYONE TO FREAK OUT W IT OTHER THAN BESTIE LIV AND NEITHER OF US ARE AS SMART AS U

[kopfkinote]

angel, galaxy, gorgeous, infatuation, and murky! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ i banish your boredom

thank you joie wowowow look at all these q’s!!! my boredom is indeed banished

angel; is there anyone you’d do anything for?

Only The Sith Deal In Absolutes

no but i’d like to have someone like that one day

galaxy; what fascinates you?

the invisible constructs under which we are/were governed to behave, e.g. comp het, toxic masculinity, weaponized/consumerist femininity, 30-year nostalgia cycle, etc. also i’m fascinated by literally everything culinary

gorgeous; what do you like in a person?

oh,, just one thing? i’ll go with the rejection of cynicism. these days it’s easy to be Edgy and Pessimistic about everything and so i love it when someone chooses to be hopeful and tender at the world

infatuation; first crush?

i didn’t have my first real crush til like 7-8th grade i think?? they were so lovely and so sweet i was pretty whipped. but tbh it was probably liv tyler from when i went thru a lotr phase bc That Woman......

murky; biggest fear?

joie coming thru w them Deep Q’s!!!! i don’t know. not having a future? i’m pretty anxious 25/8 about my future so something about that mayhaps

send me pretty asks

[kingdenbro]

There’s No Us

summary: Sometimes the people that we fall in love with aren’t the right ones for us. Sometimes the people who teach us what love means are also the ones who teach us when it’s right to let go. And sometimes letting go means letting go when you’re both still helplessly in love.

word count: 6,685

warnings: break-up; implied sexual content; referenced homophobia; mental breakdowns 

author’s note: dan here! i loved this concept but i kind of ruined it, yikes. i’m not too pleased with it or the ending but whatever is floating thy goat. hope you guys enjoy! also, this is unbeta’d so all mistakes are my own, oops!

tag list: @rememberingtozier ; can you believe i’m cool enough wowowow

”I’m sorry,” Bill said, his voice gentle and unwavering. His legs dangled over the edge of the cliff of the quarry as he casted his gaze down to the still water below. His feet pressed downwards as the heels of his worn sneakers grinded against the rough surface of the rocks. His heart hung heavy in his chest, the weight of the unspoken words crushing his shoulders. He took a drag of the cigarette glued into his right hand, letting the smoke slowly bleed out of his mouth before stating it again. “I’m sorry, Stan.”

“Don’t be,” Stan whispered. He sat within arm’s reach of Bill but they felt so far apart. Stan looked up to meet Bill’s own eyes but was met with the bowed head of shame. The curly-haired boy wasn’t sure of what to say or do. Everything, in this very moment, was being exposed and torn apart for what it truly was. The night silence hung between the two boys, vacant and open and ready for them to speak. After a few minutes had past, Stan ran his hands up and down his jean-clad thighs nervously before his voice broke out into a stutter. “D-Do you remember?”

Bill leaned against his own desk, arms folded over his chest as he took a deep breath inwards. Stan was sitting on the edge of  his bed, fingers wound in the rich navy blue comforter. Stan was the perfect contrast to Bill’s dreary and dark room, lightly littered with crumbled balls of paper. The boy, with his iron-pressed beige shorts and pale  polo shirt, gave Bill a sense of familiarity and home.

“W-Wuh-What’s up?” Bill asked after fifteen minutes of pure silence had passed. It was ticking onwards to twelve in the morning and Bill knew that Stan had a set schedule at a set time. He'd try to help the boy in order to get him out and into his system. Stan began to tap his index finger and his thumb together in a series of three's. Three rapid taps, a second of silence, followed by three slower taps. It was something that Bill had noticed the boy did whenever he got extremely nervous. Bill pursed his lips momentarily before taking a deep breath and pushing himself off of the desk and moving to sit next to Stan. The other quickly flinched, his hands covering his face before he inhaled shakily and let them fall.

‘Something's wrong,’ Bill noted as he gently placed his hand on Stan's thigh. ‘Something's really, really wrong.’ Stan drew in a shuddering breath before looking up at Bill and the elder noticed the tears that were forming in the corners of Stan's eyes. His hazel eyes were glassy and distant as if he was trapped replaying something over and over again in his head.  Bill frowned, rubbing his thumb soothingly along the top of Stan's thigh, gentle yet steady enough. Stan let his eyes flutter shut and leaned towards Bill for a couple moments, the tension in his body dissipating.

"My parents kicked me out." His voice was barely above a whisper. "They kicked me out and I just... I came here." Bill stopped his movements and kept his eyes level with Stan's.

"W-W-Why did they k-kih-kick you out?"

"They found out I'm gay." Bill's breath hitched in his throat, letting out a vocal hiss. Stan shrunk his shoulders, folding himself inwards and he let out a soft whimper. A tear slipped down his cheek but he was quick to brush it away, fearing that Bill would say or do something.  He was disgusting, that much Stan knew. Why else would they do that to their only son?

"That's it?"

"No..  They found out something else. They found out about this guy and they-" Stan's voice broke off with a whimper and Bill reached upwards to snake his arms around Stan's torso to pull him closer. They sat there with Bill's chin resting on top of Stan's head and Stan's trembling hands clutched into Bill's shirt. Quiet cries filled the nightly air, slowly faltering as soon as Stan took a deep breath. He pulled away from Bill and began tapping once again. Taptaptap.. tap-tap-tap. "Richie wrote me a note in AP History. It said something along the lines of 'damn Uris, stare the boy down any longer and you'll cream your pants' or something along those lines." Stan let out a soft chuckle at the memory of his best friend's wiggling eyebrows as he flushed a deep red. "I guess I forgot to toss it and Father found it when he went into my room.  Then, uh, things happened." His voice cracked and let out a shaky sigh. "Things happened and I'm here now."

"There's some p-p-pajamas of yours in the clos-s-set. Change into t-them and we'll watch a mo-o-ov-vie." Bill changed the subject, nodding his head towards the closet in the far corner of his bedroom. He had clothes suited for every Loser packed away in some area of his bedroom. Richie, Eddie, and Mike all had a shared drawer in Bill's dresser. Ben and Beverly shared a tote that was tucked away beneath Bill's bed and Stan, meticulous about the state of his clothing, had it hung in Bill's closet. Bill watched as Stan moved out of the bedroom, probably aiming for the bathroom. He glanced over at the clock that blared a bright red '12:46 AM' and sighed deeply.  He moved to pull his sheet and blanket downwards and slid into the right side of the bed, closest to the wall before plopping his head down on his pillow and staring up at the ceiling. His parents wouldn't bother him about Stan in the morning. They didn't really care about what he did in his free time - or any time, really. As long as he wasn't causing them stress or dead, they really couldn't care less about his state.

"Bill?" Stan whispered, startling Bill into looking into his direction. Stan looked nervous as Bill stared at him expectantly. Bill knew what Stan was referencing so he held his arms open and watched as his best friend relaxed. Stan slowly climbed into the bed, facing Bill with his hands folded beneath his head just like a pillow. Bill chuckled, turning fully onto his side with one arm folded over his torso and the other tucked beneath his pillow. The two boys sat there in silence, letting the emotions locked in their eyes speak for them.

“So… No m-mm-movies?” Bill asked as Stan's eyes began to glass over with exhaustion. He let out a soft huff of air, signaling a slight sound of laughter. Bill moved his arm from his torso to push a strand of Stan’s hair out of his face. “I'll take that as a no. Goodnight, S-St-S-Stan.” Stan let out a soft noise of content, his lips twitching at the light touches that Bill let linger on his skin and made no move to pull away. Bill smiled softly at his friend, his heart clenching at the idea of how much pain Stan was going through. The struggle of just merely having OCD was hard enough. Now, Stan didn't have the strength or energy or place to soothe the urge of his compulsions. He was accepting his sexuality but that meant the rejection and heartbreak of those who he thought would love him forever. Then there was the basic stress of friendships, of school, of everything. Bill let out a soft sigh and dropped his hand back down to land on the bed. He was truly aching for his friend.

When Stan woke up the next morning, he was tucked snugly into Bill’s torso, his leg slipping between Bill’s own. Stan attempted to pull away, ashamed, but Bill, with his feigned sleepiness, pulled him back in. Perhaps they could pretend, just for a moment, that things would be okay. Just for a moment.

"Remember what, ex-ex-eeh-exactly?" Bill asked, lifting his head to look at Stan. Stan was staring up at the sky, his eyes narrowed and face relaxed in a saddened frown.  Raindrops began to trickle down from the skies, a few drops landing on Stan's flushed cheeks. Bill looked over the boy, staring as if this was going to be the last time he met with Stan and he didn't want to forget /anything/ about the boy he once loved. Stan's curls framed his face perfectly, clearly taking a strange form of leaning to the right from how often the boy ran his hand through his hair. His hands were resting behind him, supporting his weight as he remained in the same position. His knuckles were bruised and scabbed from a fight that no one suspected. No one suspected that Stan would throw the first punch. Or the last. Bill's frown deepened at the thought of Stan mirroring his own trait of jumping into a fight rather than acknowledging the feelings behind it. The sleeves of the hoodie that Bill gave him ended just before the knuckles, illuminating the boy's frail frame. The hoodie was a pure black one with the words 'Derry High Athletics' embroidered in large, white font on the front. On the back of the hoodie, the number 7 and Bill's last name were embroidered in thick white font. It was Bill's baseball hoodie that Stan had clung onto. A sense of pride and possession exploded in his chest at the sight followed quickly by sadness. Bill's eyes grew damp as he remembered that Stan wouldn't want to wear the hoodie anymore. Not when it branded him with something that he didn't want.

"Us." Stan finally said, his eyes open and now turning to look back at Bill. They maintained eye contact, blue getting lost in hazel, before Stan gave a smile. A smile filled with fond memories and an aching heart. "Y'know the us before all this. Before all the screaming and the fighting. Before the stress of moving, of graduating, of all this. The us that was so in love and so, so happy." A lump swelled at the lump of Bill’s throat as he nodded in agreement. His eyes flickered to Stan’s fingers drumming against the damp rocks and he felt a compulsion to hold his hand.

“I-”

“Don’t.” Stan pulled his feet from over the edge and folded them beneath himself, pushing his hands off the ground to rest against his thighs. He shook his head and let the curls fall into his face to cover his eyes before drawing a deep breath. “Don’t do that.” His voice wavered.

Bill watched Stan with admiration every single time that the boy wasn’t looking. All their friends teased Bill for being so fucking in love and refusing to admit it to Stan (who stared at him just the same). Stan was laughing loudly, his cheeks tinted pink from the sun’s rays. Richie was next to him, his fingers clutched in his other hands. He was dramatically reenacting a scenario from his earlier shift at the theatre. Bill was drowning out his friends voice, focusing on the way that Stan's face bore every emotion he was feeling.

“Billiam!” Richie shouted, throwing his shoe at the other boy. Bill, with startled red cheeks, looked up to his grumpy friend. Richie towered over Bill’s sitting frame, arms folded over his chest. “Stop watching him and pay attention to me!” Bill shifted his eyes to the side, his lips curled in a displeased smile. He turned his eyes back to his friend and began watching him, Stan's figure sitting in the corner of his eyes.

“I've got to go home,” Eddie whined, rolling his eyes as Richie pouted about being interrupted. It was obvious how much Eddie hated being home; it was almost as bad as Bill’s dislike. Richie turned on his heel and chirped at Eddie.

“We mustn't delay the venture any longer, my good maiden!” Richie extended his arm to Eddie who just shoved it out of the way and mumbled ‘shut up’. Richie turned to Mike with an over-exaggerated defeated look on his face, clearly trying to will the boy into tagging along. Mike sighed quietly and pushed himself to his feet, allowing Richie to pull him up. He swung an arm around Richie’s shoulders and walked towards Eddie, smiling at the small boy who was ranting about something. If anyone noticed the way Richie’s shoulders relaxed and he stopped needlessly chattering, no one said anything.

“I'm going to put get ice cream!” Stan suddenly spoke, pushing himself off the rocks of the quarry. He turned to Ben and Beverly, blushing at the wink Bev gave him. “Does anyone want to come along?”

“Mm, no.” Beverly glanced up at Stan before nodding her head towards Ben. “Mister Hanscom here promised me a sneak peek into his journals so I must hold him to that. You and Bill enjoy yourselves.”

Bill opened his mouth to argue with Beverly before Stan turned to him with hopeful eyes. “You wanna come?”  The sound of Bill jumping off the rocks was answer enough for Stan. He waved goodbye to the couple before turning to Bill.

“You don't have to come. I know Bev made it seem like you do.”  Stan's voice held a hint of sadness. Bill shook his head, knocking his shoulder against Stan’s with a wide grin.

“I'm coming,” he confirmed before picking his bike up off the ground. He turned to watch Stan climb on to his own bike before shouting, “Away we go, Silver!” Stan let out a quick burst of laughter before speeding past Bill, shouting something along the lines of ‘Last Loser pays!’ The two boys biked down to the Derry Waterside, a local restaurant that the Losers frequented. When they got there, the smile of familiarity grew on Bill’s face. Here he was, sitting in a place of good memories with the one person he loved most.

“Let's go,” Stan called, setting his bike against the side of the building as Bill dropped his own down onto the pavement of the parking lot. Bill scrunched his face at Stan's rolling eyes, wishing he clued make a witty comment in response. Nothing was coming to mind other than the fact than Stan was hanging out with him because he wanted to. “Bill, C’mon!” Bill snapped out of his trance before following Stan.

They were greeted by a shout of their names, the owner of the shop smiling fondly as he saw the two boys. “Where's the rest of ya’?” The owner Demetrius asked. “Thought ‘ere was seven.” The Waterside was frequently filled with small families and young teenagers on dates but Demetrius always got to know his frequent customers. He referred to Stan as the respectful one, Bill as the leader, Bev as the troublemaker, Ben as the kind one, Mike as the surprisingly patient one, and Richie as Hurricane Tozier. The nickname he used for Eddie, although often in private, was Drama Queen.

“The others are momentarily busy, sir. Bill and I were just hoping for some ice cream.” Bill nodded lamely at Stan’s words, admiring as the boy interacted with their older friend. Stan was flawless and impeccable, his maturity and respect for elders oozing through his very presence. He slapped a handful of quarters onto the counter before turning to Bill.

“Do you mind if we take our ice cream cones to go? I don’t really feel like staying here today.” Bill shook his head before walking towards the counter, giving Demetrius a gentle smile as he handed them their ice cream cones. A chocolate-strawberry mix for Bill and a french vanilla for Stan. Demetrius took the change with a gentle shake of his head and bidded the two boys a good day. They called out to the older man before leaving the restaurant, Bill already with ice cream on the tip of his nose.

“Whaddya wa-anna d-d-do?” Stan turned to Bill, reaching a finger out to swipe the small blob of ice cream off the boy’s nose. Stan looked ridiculously perfect in the moment. His tongue was swiping along the ice cream cone, keeping it a fair distance to not spill it over his clothing. His dumb, dumb ironed thigh shorts and his meticulously ironed button up. Bill stared in admiration, thoughts rolling over his mind on a constant run. When the shorter boy pulled his finger back to stare at it momentarily, Bill blurted his train of thoughts out.

“Date me.” Two simple words. Two simple words that made the world freeze. Stan looked up with melting ice cream on the tip of his tongue, eyes wide with Bill’s melted ice cream still coating his finger. He stared at Bill, mouth dropped in shock as the other boy’s cheeks flamed with red. Bill opened his mouth to counter his statement before Stan nodded.

“Yes-” Stan couldn’t finish his statement without blushing furiously so he turned his gaze to the ice cream cone he was currently eating. They stood there, Stan with red cheeks and Bill with a sudden urge to jump for joy. When Stan refused to look up at Bill calling his name, Bill couldn’t help but to frown.

“Am I s-so irres-si-sistibile that you can’t even l-l-look at me?” Bill joked and Stan swiped his finger across his face with a stifled laugh.

¤

“You didn’t le-let me f-f-finish,” Bill countered, his lips curling into a slight pout. He kicked his legs back repeatedly against the cliff, the feeling of his heels crashing painfully against the rocks distracting him from the pain that burrowed in his chest. Stan shook his head, a light chuckle slipping from between his lips.

“I don't have to, baby.” The pet name twisted in Bill’s chest but he blinked the growing tears away. Stan wasn't often keen on using sappy pet names except he knew how it always made Bill feel loved and feel safer - how everything always felt a little more bearable to him. The realization of everything was finally beginning to settle into his bones and everything in Bill screamed to run. He clenched his eyes shut before feeling Stan’s freezing hand against his flushed cheeks. He felt the fingers slowly turn his face to meet Stan’s eyes. The boy was a mere few centimetres away, reminding Bill of all the times they sat this way. “I know you, William. I know you'll apologize because you think this entire thing is your fault and I know you'll shut down on me.”

“Talk to me, Billy.” Stan’s voice was level and firm as he stared at the lump in the bed. Bill had his blanket pulled taut over his frame, leaving a small gap for fresh air. An empty bag of  chocolate chips was on his night table along with a half empty bottle of cough syrup. Stan stood over Bill with a frown,  his arms folded over his chest. They hadn't seen each other in days because Bill would refuse to let anyone in. He would avoid them in school, deliberately taking paths that he knew the Losers took. It just meant he had a few run-ins with a newer set of bullies.

“Bill.” Stan's voice was now growing impatient and Bill could almost see him tap against his forearm. After a few moments, Stan tucked his hands into the small opening and yanked it up. Bill was curled up in a ball, his arms curled around his torso, hugging himself. Stan winced at the scent of stale sweat but took a deep breath before slipping to lay next to Bill. He pulled the blanket over himself as well, leaving them nowhere to be except with each other.

“You're shutting me out,” Stan whispered, reaching over to run his thumb along Bill’s cheek. Bill turned his head to burrow into the sheets but Stan prevented him from rolling away. He grabbed Bill by his forearms and yanked him closer, rolling onto his back in the middle of doing so. After a few minutes of struggled grunts and unintentional smacks to the face, Stan had Bill completely on top of him and had his hands around the boy’s torso. Bill’s head was tucked into the crook of Stan’s neck, his chest pressed against Stan’s and his legs intertwined with Stan’s. Stan slipped a hand beneath Bill’s too-large shirt and began to draw small shapes on the small of the back, soothing the trembling boy. “Please don’t shut me out, Billy.”

Bill broke.

Tears began streaming down his cheeks as broken sobs slipped from his lips and he cried into Stan’s neck. Stan pressed his lips to his boyfriend’s head and whispered soft reassurances of love and happiness. They stayed there, Bill clinging onto Stan for dear life and Stan refusing to move.

“I-I-It hu-urts,” Bill whined, his throat hoarse and his stutter worse. He moved his hands to the base of Stan’s neck, twirling the stray strands between his fingertips. Stan wasn't one for having people touch hi s hair but judging from the sedated looking he gave Bill, it was okay this time around. Stan let out a gentle hum as Bill struggled around his words, cursing his stutter for getting worse when he was upset. “I h-h-heh-hate being s-s-so u-u-u-unwanted b-by t-t-t-them.”

“I know, Bill.” Stan sighed gently, sliding his hand up to the centre of Bill's back. He dug his nails into the flesh and began scratching lightly. “And I know it's not the same but we're here. Richie and Mike and Beverly and Ben and Eddie. And me. I'm here for as long as you want me to be here, baby.”

Bill's cheeks flared up a crimson red as he moved his hand blindly to jab Stan in the side. Stan squealed loudly, immediately jolting causing Bill to slide down to his left side. Bill laughed loudly, his eyes narrowing as a wide grin stretched across his face.

“Did you just stab me?” Stan shrieked, causing Bill to let out an effeminate giggle. He buried his face in Stan's shoulder, stretching his arms across the boy’s waist before mumbling.

“Stop c-ceh-calling m-m-me baby.” Stan angled his head awkwardly to look at Bill, noting the twitching smile and flushed cheeks before shaking his head.

“No, I don't think I will.” Bill let out a whine in protest but he failed to disguise the growing smile on his face. “I think my Billy likes being called baby. In fact, I think he likes pet names, don't you?” Bill's cheeks flushed darker as he nodded. Stan chuckled lightly before pulling himself away from Bill, wrinkling his nose.

“As much as I like cuddling you, you need to shower. C’mon,  shower and I'll make you breakfast.” Bill nodded in defeat, letting Stan drag him out of the bed. Truth be told, he knew he looked and smelt terrible. His hair stuck up in wild directions and the right side of his face was still caked in dried blood from an altercation with a bully a few days ago. He hadn't showered or brushed his teeth in days - he just didn't have the energy or motivation to do so. Stan pulled him into the bathroom, pressed a kiss to his forehead and closed the door.

When Bill walked into the kitchen in fresh, clean clothes, he was greeted with the sight of Stan pouring him his favourite cereal. He smiled fondly before walking over to press a kiss to the curly-haired boy’s cheek.

“You're w-wearing my s-s-s-shirt,” Bill commented, smirking. Stan was wearing his faded black shirt and it hung down to the middle of this thighs, making Bill snort at the image it created out of context.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Bill,” Stan scolded as he turned to hand Bill the bowl of cereal. “I knew I was going to have to drag you out so I had to wear something that could get damaged.”

“I know.” Bill took the bowl and before he could turn around, Stab pulled him into a sweet, gentle kiss. It was over as quickly as it started. Bill chased after Stan’s lips blindly, eyes still closed. Stan slipped two fingers over Bill’s lips, shaking his head.

“Eat your food, Denbrough. Then we need to talk.”

“Yeah yeah, princess.” Bill didn't miss the way Stan’s cheeks grew to match the colour of his shirt.

“It's not the right time,” Bill said after a few minutes of silence, his hand lifting to curl around Stan’s.

“Nor are we the right people.” Stan’s voice was cold and drained of emotions and both of them froze at the harshness of what he said. Bill’s eyes filled with shame and Stan slowly caressed his thumb along the redhead’s cheekbone. “At least, not right now. Not with my..” Stan’s voice cracked and he pulled himself away from Bill’s gaze to look down at the water of the quarry. After he had recollected himself, he looked at Bill and took a deep breath. “Not with my hyper fixations and your inability to just let yourself love.”

”This is bullshit!” Stan screamed, raising his hands to yank at the hair on the sides of his head. He was pacing in Bill’s living room, his throat raw. Bill was sitting on the counter adjacent adjacent to his living room. He stared at Stan, arms folded over his chest and face void of emotions.

“S-So it's t-t-true.”

“No, Bill, you don't get to say that.” Stan's hazel eyes were brimmed with tears and his normally kept hair was sticking out in wild directions. His shirt was untucked and unbuttoned to the third button, creating a mixed image for Bill to look at. Here was his boyfriend, normally kept together and calm, whining and looking he just walked out of a frat house. Bill pursed his lips, tilting his head before shaking it and tensing up even more. Stan stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to reply. They were fighting over Bill’s accusation of Stan finding better people to be with and Stan was defending his position of hanging out with Mike and Ben. Stan had stormed into Bill’s house, eyes dark as he demanded to know why his boyfriend was ignoring him.

“It's true.”

“You don't get to do that! Not when I've been trying to see you for days and you've been blowing me off and hanging out with Bev and Richie to get drunk, high - I don’t know! I'm sorry I didn't tell you but they're my friends too.” Stan was a few feet away from Bill, his chest rising and falling. He looked frantic, all of his pent up emotions finally spilling out. Stan wasn’t normally one to talk but he was working on it. Working on his biggest fear of being open just to be close to Bill. And Bill was just shutting down, ignoring everything that Stan was trying to say. To say at the very least, they were terrible at communication. Stan just wanted the confirmation of Bill loving him back and Bill just wanted the confirmation of Stan wanting him and not just using him for his own personal gain.

“Whatever.”

“This isn't fair, Bill! You don't get to do this! We all have issues and you're using yours to blame me!” Bill’s eyes grew dark as he moved towards Stan with balled up fists. His thoughts shut down and he bit down on his tongue, the bitter taste of blood quickly filling the insides of his mouth.

“I get it. It's hard to talk, I know. But I can't be the only one trying to talk. If that’s how things are going to be then we’re not going to work!”

The next few moments skipped by in a blur, ending with Stan pressed against the wall and Bill’s hands pressed against Stan’s chest. He didn’t say anything, his words burning at the tip of his tongue. Stan had fear flashing in his eyes and Bill let go, staggering backwards. A lump swelled up in his throat and he felt like a monster. He pulled himself back to reality and ran out of his front door, full sprint, ignoring Stan’s cries of his name. He was suffocating and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He was a terrible person and didn’t deserve Stan.

Not if he was willing to do something that could have come close to hurting him.

”You know I-”

“I know. You did and maybe you still do and I know I did, I do, and I will always-” Stan pulled his hand away from Bill’s cheek and sighed. A stray tear slipped down Stan’s cheeks as he took a deep breath. “I will always love you.” Bill glanced over with a scrunched face before Stan gave him a sad smile. After what felt like eternity, Stan stood up and began to nibble on the peeling skin on his lip.

“Staaann, “ Bill whined pathetically, clenching his eyes shut as he felt his boyfriend’s arms tuck around his waist. Bill was working on a painting while Stan was across the room, working on scholarship applications.

“I've missed you,” Stan mumbled, his face hidden by Bill’s overalls. “and I can't help it when you look so good.” For a sweaty, tired mess, Bill did look good. He had black overalls on, the strap of the left side slipping down his arm. His shirt was tattered, a once vibrant orange was now a pale red. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing off the paint splatters over his forearms. He had paint smeared across his cheeks and his fingertips, both dried and wet. Bill turned around to look at Stan who was staring back up with a sympathetic smile.

“You're just s-s-saying that,” Bill commented, rolling his eyes as Stan shook his head. The shorter boy rocked up onto his tippy-toes to slide an arm around Bill’s neck while the other was left to curl into the front of the overalls. Stan shook his head once again, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows.

Bill dipped down,  his paint-covered fingers curling around Stan’s waist. He slid his hands beneath the fabric of Stan’s t-shirt, greeted by a band of skin that was flaming hot. His lips hovered over his boyfriend's for a few moments before Stan let a whine out and pulled Bill down hastily. Their lips molded together perfectly, filled with desperation and sexual tension. Stan flicked his tongue along Bill’s lower lip, making the boy gasp out in shock. Their tongues slipped  against each other and Bill moved backwards, stumbling towards the bed. The reminder of his parents not being home - god knows where they went - blared at the back of his mind and Bill grinned against Stan’s lips.

“Yes,” Stan breathed against Bill’s smile before pulling away. His knees hit the edge of the bed. “Please, just yes.” Bill guided his boyfriend down gently, pressing his lips to Stan’s exposed neck. The quiet whimper that slipped from Stan's lip was enough to give Bill the courage he needed.

“I've missed you.” There it was. Bill wasn’t referring to the sappy, in-love Stan that he had for the months they first started dating or the gentle, quiet Stan who encouraged him through the beginning of twelfth grade. He was referring to his friend, the one who taught him how to whistle and the one who showed Bill the hidden closet in their elementary school. As much as he fell in love with Stan, he missed what they used to have. He missed the friendship that was balanced perfectly, with Stan’s maturity and Bill’s slight attitude of recklessness. He missed the young childhood innocence that they pretended to have, indulging in the memories of the past.

”I've missed you too, baby. See you later?” Stan was standing above Bill, hands shoved into the pockets of the hoodie.

“Yeah.”

Bill’s loud laughter filled Stan’s bedroom, causing Stan to slip a hand over his redhead boyfriend’s mouth. He giggled in response, watching the way Bill’s blue eyes were filling with joy and Stan couldn’t feel more in love with him. They were standing in the middle of his bedroom, Bill with his shirt off and plaid pajama bottoms on and Stan with his matching striped blue pj’s on. The soft lull of Stan’s radio was flowing through the room, falling faintly on the boys’ ears.

“You’re quite s-s-so-something, Stanley Uris.” Bill reached up to grab his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him closer. Stan shook his head, a frown on his lips before he slipped his hands onto Bill’s shoulders. Stan dropped his head to rest in the crook of Bill’s neck, a smile growing on his face. He felt the blush begin to flare up his cheeks and the tip of his ears, making it harder for him to focus on the warmth of Bill’s arms around him.

“I could say the same, William Denbrough.” Stan pulled away from the crook of Bill’s neck and stared at the older boy with a gentle smile, amusement filling his eyes as Bill began to sway with the music. Stan shook his head but allowed to let himself follow Bill’s movements.

Here they were, eleven at night, swaying in Stan’s bedroom as the rest of the house stood in silence.

“You know I-I-I l-” Bill’s mouth clamped shut and he took a deep breath in, attempting to will himself into saying the words he truly wanted to say. Despite his issues with love and abandonment, he wanted to let Stan know how he truly felt. He took a deep breath and pushed himself to say the words.

“I l-l-love y-you,“ Bill managed to get out, startling Stan. Stan looked up with wide eyes, his hands slipping from Bill’s shoulders. Bill frantically searched his mind for an apology but the words refused to leave his throat. Stan’s face of shock twisted into one of pure glee as he leapt closer to Bill, pressing his lips against Bill’s as he moved to cup his cheeks.

The kiss was soft and sweet with a hint of desperation. Bill melted into Stan, letting the shorter boy take the lead. When Stan pulled away, lips swollen and wet, Bill couldn't help but to smile back.

“I love you too, Bill.”

The Losers haven’t seen each other in weeks. Richie was cooping himself up in his bedroom, driving his fingertips to bloody stumps as he awaited an acceptance letter. Eddie was locked in his house, grounded for walking into the house at three in the morning with the glassy look of a high. Mike was busy caring for a pregnant pig that was due any day, whining about wanting to be anywhere but. Bev and Ben were tucked away in the corners of the library, eyes scanning over “OPEN HOUSE” sections of the New York Times. Stan also locked himself in his bedroom, causing the Tozier parents to grow with worry over their two sons. And Bill was simply being Bill. He was trapped between the what-should’ve-beens and what-really-is, making himself barely existing in the present. It wasn’t until he got a frantic phone call from Richie saying that everyone needed to meet up. So, the date was planned for the following Sunday.

The Sunday that marked a month since Bill last saw Stan. A month since they had that conversation.

When the Sunday rolled around, Bill was sure to be the first one to show up at the Quarry. He situated himself against the rocks away from the cliff, maintaining a heavy gaze on the spot where he and Stan once sat. He glanced away at the sound of Mike walking towards him, eyes bright and voice loud. He had his shoulder bag thrown over his shoulder and a Biology 12 textbook clutched in his hands. Bill raised an eyebrow but didn’t bother to question him. Ben came by shortly after, three cups of slushies in his hands with Beverly hot on his trail with four cups in a tray. They sat in a small circle, laughter filling the air as Ben began telling a story about the little kids that he coached soccer too. Bill couldn’t help but to let his worries slip away, allowing himself to sink into a sense of deja vu. Eddie finally came running over, his cheeks flushed as he struggled to catch his breath. He explained that his mother was relentless about letting him out but he fought back and ran out when she wasn’t looking. Ben held up a slightly melted slushed drink with a sly smirk at the way Eddie rolled his eyes. Then, after ten minutes, Richie came barreling down the road with Stan close by. Richie was grinning cheek to cheek, two pieces of paper clutched in his fists with Stan coming by with a stifled grin on his face.

“Listen up, Losers!” Richie shouted, taking the slushie out of Eddie’s hands as he sat next to the boy. Stan moved to sit next to Mike and Beverly, quietly thanking her as she handed him his own drink before glancing up at Bill. He looked terrible with dark bags beneath his eyes but the smile he gave Bill was one of contentment and happiness. It told Bill that despite everything, they were okay. They were just fine.

“Billy!” Richie whined, throwing a rock in Bill’s direction. Bill flinched, his fists raising in defense before glaring at Richie who now had his own slushie. Richie rolled his eyes before looking over at Bill with a knowing look in his eyes. “Now, Big Bill, if you’d just listen instead of moping, Stanny and I have news to share!”

“Stan?” Bill questioned, looking at the other curly-haired boy who, with pink tinted cheeks, shrugged. Bill turned his gaze back to Richie who held up the two pieces of paper up in either hand; a letter from Richie’s dream school in one hand and one from Stan’s dream school in the other. “We got accepted!” The entire Losers Club exploded with joy, Eddie squealing and wrapping his arms tightly around Richie’s waist while Ben clapped him on the back. Bev and Mike wrapped their arms around Stan, startling the boy to freezing before clearing his throat. He finally relaxed into their touch before smiling and staring at Bill.

‘Ristken,’ Stan mouthed, referencing to the letter clutched in Richie’s hand. ‘Full scholarship.’ Bill’s face twisted into a wider smile, remembering all of the times that him and Stan talked about leaving Derry and moving to their dream schools. Bill nodded before moving towards Richie to wrap him up in a hug. They all exchanged their congratulations and hugs before situating themselves back into an attempted, listening to the different stories that they’ve all missed through the past few weeks. Beverly was sitting in front of Ben, her back flushed against Ben’s chest as her feet rested on Richie’s lap. Richie was fiddling with Eddie’s hair who in turn was throwing pieces of grass at Bill. Bill was pressed up against a rock, his arms folded over his chest as he remained away from the group and its copious amounts of physical affection. Mike tapped his foot against Bill’s knee, raising an eyebrow and twitched his head to get Bill to move closer. Bill let out a gentle sigh before sliding to the end of Mike, letting the boy rest his feet on his own lap. Mike resting his head on Stan’s lap and Stan was running his fingers along Mike’s scalp. Bill glanced over at Stan once more and Stan gave him a soft smile, tilting his head slightly. The redhead let his eyes drop to Stan’s currently unusual outfit; he was wearing Richie’s jean jacket covered in patches with a hoodie beneath it.

Bill’s hoodie, to be specific.

Bill’s eyes flashed back up to meet Stan’s eyes and suddenly, everything was okay. Bill felt it; everything was going to be okay.

Sure, they weren't Bill&Stan but they were still Bill and Stan.

[nothesc]

WOWOWOW JUST SAW THE HEI BRISKEBY VIDEO I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD BUT OMG SANA CALLED YOUSEF COULDN'T BELIEVE IT HE WAS SO HAPPY

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what makes me so happy about today's video is that I can literally imagine all of them laughing when yousef went to "get sth to drink"

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I'm swedish so I understand some Norwegian and if I understood it correctly then they were filming outside cause yousef didn't want to run into sana at the apartment cause he was sad after her initial rejection when she texted and told him she couldn't hang on Friday which makes his reaction to her phone call even better he must've been so happy 😭😭😭

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THIS VIDEO WAS THE BEST THING EVER IT’S ALL WE’VE BEEN ASKING FOR AND MORE

THE WHOLE BALLOON SQUAD KNEW ABOUT YOUSEF’S CRUSH AND I THINK THAT’S THE PUREST THING EVER !!!!

AND OMG MY POOR BOY YOUSEF I’M SURE HE WAS DEVASTATED AT FIRST BUT NOW HE’S HAPPY BECAUSE HIS SOULMATE AND HIM ARE DATING

[discovermorepassionharder]

what a day to be alive.

guysssss. I just got accepted into University of Glasgow’s Postgraduate program for next year. wowowow. I honestly didn’t even think I’d get in. I was bored one day, and didn’t know what I wanted to do with my future, so I started looking into grad schools. I’ve always wanted to live outside the U.S. so I looked into a couple universities in the UK, mostly as a pipe dream. I found some that looked competitive, and like they would challenge my education, and sent in some applications. I also applied to some “safety schools” in the U.S. because I always need a backup plan. AND I GOT ACCEPTED INTO ALL THE INTERNATIONAL SCHOOLS I APPLIED TO. I truly didn’t think that would happen. I’ve always gotten good grades in school, I graduated from my undergraduate degree with honors, but I just *barely* got a high enough GPA to qualify. 

Last year, I went through a lot of failures. I got fired from my first post-college, full-time job with little to no explanation as to why. I got rejected from the Peace Corps twice. I quit a job because it was a really, hostile environment. All of this in the span of like 3 or 4 months. It just felt like I couldn’t win. To be honest, I started applying to graduate schools because I needed something to look forward to; I needed some sort of sign that I had a future, and that my life goals weren’t a complete flop. It was a hail mary, and I needed so badly for it to work out. And then 2018 hit, and things started to turn around: I was offered a new job at a company that’s doing incredible work, that I’m so passionate about. And I got 4 grad school offers. wowowow. God is good. Life is good. 

okay, sorry for all the bragging.