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#my girl is not ur child
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Blue Team movie STORY night!
This week it's Junior's turn to be narrator
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head---ache · 3 months
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the queer experience of picking someone to "have a crush on" as a child
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moriaarts · 2 months
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More quickies of my beautiful trans clone ocs Kiss and Deets in civvies
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teeth-draws · 11 months
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“What do you mean he’s scary!! Look at him!”
— taking artistic liberties to scrunkle the face of @shepherds-of-haven’s Blade Bronwyn - a man with 0.6% body fat lol
#shepherds of haven#if games#blade bronwyn#this is mc privelage at work#hc mcs but especially the ladies are like no he’s fine!! look he’s a lamb!! but if someone else tried this they’d get their wrists broken#being an artist (like being a writer) makes your proclivities rly obvious because in this instance you can tell that I love#babying men who could kickflip me into the sun#picking fights with famed assassins like… wow blade ur so confident for your height! and leave#blade likes girls with good hearts and Halle is not quite that but she IS an efficient worker so she always comes back with the win…#and a bunch of rescued orphans and mages and stuff it’s… not a reflection of her personality but rather her work ethic which even then#is reluctant and put-upon#she didn’t want to be a captain let alone commander she was meant to be using this gang of do-gooders to fulfil her fate and then bounce#but they’re all so wholesome and now she loves them despite her better judgement#and he’s so cute!! with his poetry and plants and the googly-eyed clam he keeps on his desk and talks to about his feelings!!#what’s a girl to do?#there’s only so strong you can be in the face of a man who tells you straight-faced he’d mcfucking die for you#talking the talk and walking the walk even to the most wary of wilderness orphans#as always blade you are a nightmare to draw I lost sleep over your skin tone#my foe of four years aka blade’s left elbow is cunningly hidden#their child would be a serious force of nature and also really tall#fanart#shoh#can you imagine the name? between austere ket names and whack mage names…#these are my parents: blade and halwendi. my name is steele mechanicus and I DONT want to talk about it#just realised that if his brother saw this shit he’d get blade stoned for being a public hussy gosh sorry better make an honest man of him#new blade hairstyle is a shaggy wolfcut bc I think it’s cute on him lmao#this is a really autistic couple honestly#not quite sure where to put his hands#like when you flip a shark upside down
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yugocar · 5 months
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hi sorry but literally only an american could write this and consciously publish it online
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burning-sol · 20 days
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I think if I had been a fan of Steven Universe over the course of the series and up to the end of Future, I can see a possibility where I would have had MAD beef with the fandom. By now it seems like opinion has swung around to be more nuanced, so that's relieving, but I can only imagine how much Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz slander would have sent me.
The thing that would have pissed me off the most is that obviously Pink Diamond and Steven likely had similar outbursts of their powers due to trauma, so it would be weird to extend understanding towards Steven but be highly critical of Pink - especially since Steven had far more support in his life than Pink ever did. Pink was abused emotionally, she was punished with solitary confinement, I wouldn't be surprised if she had been abused physically and had the gems around her threatened if she misbehaved.. She was bestowed power by circumstance, she didn't CHOOSE her life anymore than Steven did: it's only by chance that they're victims of trauma who just so happen to have such potentially destructive powers.
There's also something to be put into perspective that like... Pink was the first one to break the cycle of abuse, you know? Pink didn't have a maternal figure there to tell her to be herself or to show unconditional love or to be there to comfort her as she went through hardships, she was alone. First there was Pink, the Crystal Gems came after and they had her, and then STEVEN came after and he had the Crystal Gems.. Who was there for Pink? Expecting her to have been without flaw is an unrealistic expectation considering she didn't have ANY healthy frame of reference.. Pink was one of a kind.
And like, I could continue to rant about a bunch of other things but it really DOES just boil down to the fact that Pink was a victim and it's unfair to withhold understanding from her expecting that JUST because she's a Diamond then she SHOULD know better. Like, that's just not how things WORK.. And you know, if you had asked me as a child (or even still now tbh) to turn against my abusive parents and to go against everything I knew about the world to start a revolution and then fight a war and by the end become someone who was loving and kind to the point nobody could have imagined a version of you that was so flawed?? There are very few people that could have done that. Pink was really brave and she was strong and she tried her BEST goddammit.
Not to say that she should completely lack accountability because.. Obviously not. BUT, again, expecting her to have been pristine and lacking ugliness as a victim of trauma is such an unrealistic expectation.
Also, side note, strange for people to think she intended Steven to go through absolutely everything he did when the entire point is she had Steven because she wanted a baby? Sometimes people have children even when it's against their better judgement and they know giving birth could potentially kill them: people will want children just because.. Like of course it wasn't logical, people don't have babies for logical reasons literally the majority of the time, that's the POINT and that's what Steven has to comes to grips with. "Why did Rose want a baby?" The same reason most parents want a baby even though it may have horrible consequences for the child... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ They just wanted to.
Anyways, sorry, that's my tangent.
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heartburstings · 7 months
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bc like while labru is more compelling to me if it's yuri one of the reasons why i'm keeping farcille also yuri is because. well. to me they're gonna lose something if it's yaoi sorry. also i'm more interested in girl laios and falin's relationship if they're sisters than if they're a sister and a little brother in that it will highlight further that laios has no avenue to leave their hometown. i think it would be interesting for girl laios to learn she can do magic and then wonder what could've been if she knew she could. and also because i don't want to fall into the trap of like... they're still originally guy characters. yk? it doesn't magically stop ignoring the female characters who are there if you genderbend/transgendify the guys to focus on them instead.
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m00n-pr1sm · 1 year
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Amy Dunne Character Analysis
Disclaimer
This analysis will be of Amy’s character from both the book and the movie, although the 2014 movie adaption takes greater precedence with only some additional details and quotes included from the book as it does delve deeper into Amy’s psyche and add further characterization. Thus some traits may be accentuated further than they are in the movie, not being completely faithful to either story. It’s an analysis of Amy in her totality across mediums, of course being entirely my opinion. There are of course adaptational differences but I will not include the major ones from the books (ex. her relationship with Hillary Hand). This is an analysis focusing primarily on Amy’s neuroses she demonstrates and the childhood links to them, it doesn’t cover in-depth the events nor themes of Gone Girl.
Amy Elliott Dunne, the ever enigmatic dual protagonist- antagonist of Gone Girl is one of the most iconic female villains in modern memory, and one of the paragons of the “good for her” trope in media, is, frankly, one of my favorite characters of all time. As such I have been dying to write a full analysis examining her neuroses and characterization. Beneath the cultural perception of just another “crazy psycho” for girls to claim “she did no wrong” or “she just like me fr!”, lies a fascinating character who is masterfully written and developed by Gillian Flynn, as well as perfectly portrayed by Rosamund Pike. Amy Dunne is a character with a deep, complex psychology that I will do my best to thoroughly explore in this analysis.
From Amy’s childhood we first see the emergence of a literal high ego ideal, Amazing Amy. Of course this is the children’s book series created by her parents with a fictionalized version of Amy being the eponymous protagonist. This was a version of herself that rectified her own personal failures. Amazing Amy became a prodigy at cello, when Amy quit at 10, Amazing Amy made varsity volleyball, Amy got cut freshman year. Even in the (at time) final book in the series, Amazing Amy got married, a task Amy had not yet done. The entire book series revolved around Amy always making the most virtuous, the most selfless, the most perfect decisions.
>”With me, regular, flawed, real Amy, jealous, as always, of the golden child.”
An interesting detail in the book that is omitted from the movie is Marybeth’s numerous miscarriages and stillbirths (which totaled 7). All of these girls were named Hope, until Amy was born. Amy expresses her jealousy towards them, as they were always seen as perfect without ever living; meanwhile Amy herself has to live life everyday knowing that she will never truly live up to the Hopes. That she has to try everyday to be the best she can be. Her very birth was mired in the expectation of a perfect child; given that she was practically a gift from the heavens to her parents.
This sets up Amy’s perfectionism, as the childhood experience of never living up to a projected ideal led her to want to be perfect (and as we’ll later see, the expectation that everyone else is too), to live life always through the gaze of another. Evidently this leads to a loss of one’s inner essence, one’s individuality and sense of self.
>“-I’d never really felt like a person, because I was always a product” (Book Quote)
Amy’s obsession with personas can be seen as emerging from this, as she adapts a personality depending on who she’s interacting with, as to always be the most appealing she can, she is Amazing Amy after all.
>”I’m not sure, exactly, how to be Dead Amy. I’m trying to figure out what that means for me, what I become for the next few months. Anyone, I suppose, except people I’ve already been: Amazing Amy. Preppy ’80s Girl. Ultimate-Frisbee Granola and Blushing Ingenue and Witty Hepburnian Sophisticate. Brainy Ironic Girl and Boho Babe (the latest version of Frisbee Granola). Cool Girl and Loved Wife and Unloved Wife and Vengeful Scorned Wife. Diary Amy.” (Book Quote)
This general attitude leads to people trying to impress her as she places herself as someone special and especially someone to keep around. She entices both the characters and viewers of the film through her manufactured charisma and enchantment. However, we’ll see this dramatically backfire in her relationship with Nick, just you wait!
For now we can focus on the beginning of their relationship as well as what I believe to be Amy’s view on romance.
I believe that Amy has an impossibly high standard of love, one that stems from her perfectionism and general inability to let down her guise of being amazing. Not to mention how her parents were a perfect match, Amy even referring to them as soul-mates.
>”They have no harsh edges with each other, no spiny conflicts, they ride through life like conjoined jellyfish—expanding and contracting instinctively, filling each other’s spaces liquidly. Making it look easy, the soul-mate thing.” (Book Quote)
In her childhood it’s implied that she was into romance novels, specifically Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, which obviously contributes to the idealization of romance, of a literal scripted love.
>”You were an alienated teen and only Elizabeth Bennet understood you”
I think this little quote is incredibly indicative; it establishes a sense of alienation, of Amy never quite fitting in and blending with others.
>”So many lessons and opportunities and advantages, and they never taught me how to be happy. I remember always being baffled by other children. I would be at a birthday party and watch the other kids giggling and making faces, and I would try to do that too, but I wouldn’t understand why. I would sit there with the tight elastic thread of the birthday hat parting the pudge of my underchin, with the grainy frosting of the cake bluing my teeth, and I would try to figure out why it was fun.” (Book Quote)
Back to the topic of romance, through these stories it allowed her to imagine her perfect romance: if Amy could find that one person that truly understood her, beyond the illusion, that then would constitute a perfect union of love. She does deep down (whether consciously or not) want to be loved for who she is; not the idealized, palatable, literal marketed version of herself. Thus she holds trust as a premium, expecting that if she does the Herculean task of unspooling and revealing herself to another, that the other person would love her no matter what.
>”Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?” (Book Quote)
However all of this culminates in an impossibly high standard of a lover, of a practically divine mythical love; where one loves totally and absolutely. Of course where this neurosis is most demonstrated is in Nick and Amy’s relationship.
Amy comments that after meeting Nick she finally felt like a person as he brought out a side of herself that hadn’t been seen, in her own words “a lightness and an ease”, something that Amy enjoyed. In her eyes they had the perfect relationship in the beginning, Nick was her compliment with the witty banter, with their inside jokes, and charm.
However this doesn’t just vanquish her childhood neuroses, through her desire to be seen as perfect, she modifies herself to be a “cool girl” for Nick, complying endlessly to standards to maintain this perception.
>” When I met Nick Dunne, I knew he wanted a cool girl and for him, I’ll admit, I was willing to try.”
Amy essentially became Nick’s image of a perfect girl, witty, fun, and most of all easy-going and forgiving.
Yet one cannot live forever in images and ideas; and as such, the real, true Amy emerged. The Amy that cares too much, that’s hard to get along with, that is a controlling perfectionist. She also tests Nick through the treasure hunts, weaving in little details about their relationship as to challenge Nick and hope that he remembers the things they do together as deeply as she does. Combined with the 2008 recession and declining health of Nick’s mother (the consequences of which will be explored later). As well as Nick’s growing dissatisfaction in the relationship (evidenced by his worsening performances in the treasure hunts, the cheating, using her for sex and ignoring her otherwise, etc). The illusion both Nick and Amy were living in crumbled; they couldn’t possibly sustain their relationship as they were both striving to fulfill reciprocating images for the other.
One of the biggest parts of her character is Amy’s elitism and entitlement, in which she thinks of herself as someone superior, someone that deserves to be loved absolutely for who she is, although only to people she considers worthy.
>”She’s easy to like. I’ve never understood why that’s considered a compliment—that just anyone could like you.” (Book Quote)
Once again this stems from her childhood, in a seemingly contradictory way, she also sees herself as special for being the one that survived from her mother’s attempts, as well as the fact that her birth was so tumultuous that she would be an only child. From this also stems her entitlement for love.
Amy actively looks down upon women she considers “average”, whom she sees as coming from mediocrity and continuously perpetuating that in their lives. She scoffs at them with her wealthy parents and NYC background until her marriage with Nick crumbles. Only then does she realize that she’s become the very woman she would previously disdain. A woman with a failing marriage, the loss of her previous wealth following the recession, and moving to a failed development in Missouri (What the hell’s in Missouri?) for Nick’s mother.
I truly believe this, combined with Nick’s infidelity, and most importantly the loss of her idyllic love culminated in the iconic Gone Girl plan.
>”Nick took and took from me until I no longer existed, that’s murder. Let the punishment fit the crime”.
Nick took Amy’s identity, her sense of self that she so generously revealed to him and rejected her. Implying that she would only be loved if played the role of the “cool girl”; stripping her of who she really was, losing herself in yet another persona. Although Amy admits she doesn’t really have a personality and lives through personas, she still has a semblance of self that she holds dear.
>”-made me realize that there was a Real Amy in there, and she was so much better, more interesting and complicated and challenging, than Cool Amy”. (Book Quote)
Worse yet, Nick had cheated on her with a “newer, younger, bouncer Cool Girl”, leaving Amy in the dust, surely damaging her pride.
But Amy truly fell in love with her idealized version of Nick, believing that she was responsible for shaping that version of Nick. That she deserved that man in his entirety, of course what gets Amy to come back to Nick is the Sharon Scheiber interview, in which he promises to make up with Amy in just the way that makes her think that Nick is the one person who gets her. He makes the little references to their inside jokes (2 fingers on the chin when they’re not bullshitting the other) and a reference to the end of the treasure hunt (always a contentious issue in their relationship). She’s reminded of who he was, that he was once perfect for her, who else could know how to appeal to her heart in just the right way? With the same passion and conviction she reverses the judgment on Nick, clawing her way back to him. She does so in an especially brutal manner, slashing Desi’s throat with a boxcutter right after he climaxes. Putting aside my enormous personal bias against Desi, he was technically an innocent man, taking a great risk in sheltering Amy. However it’s clear that Amy sees him as merely an asset and something to be disposed of once he serves his value, as another prop in her ever evolving masterplan; she did string him along for years through their letter correspondences. He was just another casualty in Amy’s search for idyllic love. She comes back dramatically, literally falling into Nick’s arms while still covered in Desi’s blood like a dress; fabricating an elaborate story about a love obsessed former boyfriend kidnapping and violating her. Despite the glaring holes in her whole story (If Amy’s marriage was as bad as she made it out to be, why did she go back to Nick so easily? How did she get access to a knife and kill him so seamlessly? Why didn’t Amy do anything when she discovered the stuff in Margo’s shed? etc), law enforcement, media, and the public all fully believe it, infatuated with the persona and narrative that Amy’s created for herself. In the end she traps Nick into the marriage and eventually, the family. The last shot of the film is a haunting recall to the beginning shot of the film, as Amy has both revealed and secured herself to be the master of the narrative, finally obtaining her perfect love, no matter what the cost may have been.
Conclusion
Through a constant demand in Amy’s childhood emerges a need for perfection, simultaneously bringing about a sense of superiority and entitlement. The use of personas and façades facilitate this, painting Amy as the most amazing cool girl for whomever she’s performing for, to feed her need to be seen as perfect and desirable. Yet there emerges a psychological detachment from others; as the need to perform inevitably leads to an internal hollowness. However underneath all these layers there also lies the true Amy who has the deep unconscious desire of wanting to be loved absolutely, to have a perfect union of love where she can reveal herself fully and be loved for who she is truly.
>disclaimer for tumblr lol, this is not me trying to claim Amy was innocent I am fully aware that she’s a terribly entitled and narcissistic person but she can still be complex and have relatable desires & be a person even if she’s massively fucked up!!
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rroaddkill · 7 months
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Her world we're just living in it
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sunmisbf · 9 days
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i haven’t gotten my period yet n it was already supposed to be here
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bibleofficial · 11 days
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god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly
#stream#i hate it so much#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?#i was so annoyed yesterday ppl were pissing me off so much then i called my mother & it was lovely & i told her how i scammed a vacuum from#amazon last semester by reporting it stolen bc dpd refused to deliver it TO ME & sent it to a language centre so then i reported it as a#dispute on my credit card got my money back then picked up the vacuum ALSKALSKLKSLAKSLA she said ‘u are ur fathers child’ & honestly ? real#cheap as FUCK like i GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE#but she’s also HER fathers child so i don’t wanna hear it 🙄#by that it’s ‘u gotta make it really reasonable if u want anything w my money’#i’m literally going to try to scam an electric drill or just use & return to make a fucking big room divider to THE HEIGHT I NEED bc it need#to be literally like 150cm even to go w the height of the tv bc that’s mounted & it came w the place so i can’t move it & also it doesn’t#even work ALSKALSKALKSLKSLA HATE KY LANDLORD !!!!! i mean love em they don’t do anything it’s full shithead hours 24/7 here & i love that#but GIRL ….#DID YALL RLY HVE TO PAINT OVER THE BITCHES HAIR ?#WOULD A BROOM HAVE KILLED YALL ? anyway ALSO IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CABLE#& U HAVE TO HAVE A TV LICENSE HERE FOR THE FUCKING TV 😭😭😭😭#like ALSKALKSLAKSLSLKSLAK literally … decoration#that’s ugly as fuck and annoying as shit like why is it THERRREEEEEEEE#i’m having my mother bring an amazon fire stick when i meet in north carolina like next week so i can maybe hopefully use it somehow like#just as a SPEAKER EVEN#that would be GREAT bc i’m not paying for cable i don’t even watch netflix as is#like let me get this podcast on the tele ‼️‼️‼️#determined to get dishes done today#running low on weed BUT that 1 drug dealer w cancer & w/o a bladder im talking to he’s so fucking hot hopefully he actually has a connect#for me to get smack ALSKALKSLKSLKSLKSLKALAK
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I think God instructing us not to go to sleep while angry at somebody is partially in case you wake up still mad at them. Unfortunately sometimes I am foolish. Anyway I’m angry at my mom and want to metaphorically throw rocks about it.
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solar-halos · 2 months
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i think the craziest part of the percy jackson series—(warning i’m gonna be talking about child abuse)
—is that sally married gabe. “she was using him to hide percy’s demigod scent.” she married a man who physically abused her child. like. i get it’s a very nuanced situation and that demigods literally don’t even exist but yk what does exist? moms who marry men that abuse their children… like girl. there are plenty of bum ass men who smoke weed and eat pizza and looove their ciggies and instead of abusing ur kid they would straight up ignore him and if they were a demigod their scent would STILL be hidden
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arbitrarycategories · 6 months
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what if I indulged my inner twelve year old and wrote crossover fanfiction
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boxwinebaddie · 5 months
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me: there was a bug in my hands it was so heinous i was crying please comfort me pls i was so afraid im so brave
riley: wHAT TYPE OF BUG WAS IT
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bedforddanes75 · 1 month
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how the fuck do u guys tell when ur moots with someone when they use a sideblog Like. i tell by just sending asks but like. do u just Know. am i missing something. or do u ask too
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