#my lesbian wife thinks so too btw

[milfbrennan]

bones sexuality headcanons

yeah i dont have proof (except angela) i just Know. call it my lesbian spidey senses. disclaimer that those are MY headcanons, you can have your own opinions on those ofc

main characters:

brennan: bi (preference for ugly men... but i digress). she probably started exploring her sexual orientiation in college and came to the conclusion that she's attracted to every gender to varying degrees. she's probably tongue kissed angela a few times pre season 1

booth: cishet ally! ⭐️ he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit, i'll give him that.. bi wife energy start playing whenever he walks into the room

zack: gayboi with a bad case of hero worship for dr brennan. naomi from paleonthology made him realise this isnt really what he'd like to excavate, if you get the gist... ;) (ew)

angela: imo? bi, but it's up to anyone. canon queer and i'm very happy about it

hodgins: bi. putting my foot down on this one- to me, hodgela is bi4bi. one day early into the series angela goes "why is everyone so hot... being bi is so hard" and hodgins is like "yeah, tell me about it" and they have a Oh, You Too? moment

cam: distinguished (ex-disaster) pan. she's all cool and collected now but in middle school she was probably stuttering whenever she saw a pretty girl

sweets: pan. boykisser. i just KNOW. that man is not heterosexual. probably had a few boyfriends in high school too

aubrey: bi? preference for women but in an alternate universe he and sweets are a thing

goodman: token straightie along with booth except i actually like him even tho even tho he took a 2 month sabbatical and never came back

squinterns:

clark: bi. a bit repressed and only realised it after breaking up with nora but as long as he gets there it's fine

daisy: pan. absolute girlkisser. she has the wlw equivalent of whatever zack felt for dr brennan. swaisy is a disaster pan couple.

fisher: pan- and i wont have it any other way. he was 100% checking sweets out when he came over to b&b's in s8, so i like to think when hodgins asks sweets "what is it with you and interns?" in 9x23 he's including fisher

wendell: bi and in a lab au he's dating vincent thank you

vincent: english twink and i think he and wendell should kiss in the lab lost & found

arastoo: straightie but we still love him. pan wife energy since he and cam are married

finn: god, i have No Idea but i have a feeling he doesn't either

wells: aro, and maybe ace too, but fyi even if he wasn't no one would want him

jessica: ... i used to say lesbian but i kinda let the jaubrey of it all get to me... pan vibes perhaps? i'll have to think it over. in another universe she and daisy are a thing too btw

other characters:

caroline julian:... lesbian. no i will not give an explanation for this one. sham marriage and all.

karen delfs: big pansexual energy coming from this random profiler?? i like her

villains: (do not take those seriously, but also...)

pelant: unlabeled. getting strangled by hodgins awoke something in him but he didnt have the time to figure it out between 8x01 and 9x04

taffet: very VERY mean lesbian

epps: heterosexual incel

broadsky: internalised homophobia over booth, clearly

kovac: the man pretended to be married to his sister. i'm not sure i even wanna know

[spinningalbinoturtle]

The fellowship of the Kinsey scale aka LoTR characters ranked from most to least fruity

Btw this is a joke (well sort of) so don’t take any of my stereotype arguments too seriously. Although I do genuinely think most of these characters are gay.

1. Frodo- Frodo is gayest the character. He’s constantly described as queer, his deepest connection is with Sam and their relationship is incredibly romance coded. Plus he reads poetry all the time, wears his sparkly elvish top and that fall in Return of the King movie? Homosexual. Not to mention he has THE gay haircut. Man looks like a starbucks barista. Galadriel is his gay icon.

Sam- although more masculine than Frodo and also bi Sam has the second most Gay EnergyTM. He’s a bit overemotional he spends the entire series simping over Frodo and is obsessed with flowers and poetry. When his wife dies he leaves his kids to spend eternity with his husband and the elves. Gay behavior

Legolas- Legolas is a petty drama queen and I love that for him. Loves his dwarf husband. Just look at his hair-no straight man cares that much about their hair. Gay gay gay.

Gimli-a bear but in the dwarf way. Galadriel is also his gay icon. Loves his elf husband. Loves some sparkly diamonds and jewels. Lord of the GLITTERING CAVES you say? Sounds kinda fruity

Gandalf-he’s basically a minor god and thus does not conform to human ideas of sexuality and gender. Literally all the LGBTQIAs. Gandalf Big Naturals , Gandalf the Gay are just a few of this bitch’s many names.

Pippin-Y’all on this app have convinced me Pippin is not cis gender. I don’t know in what form trans, non binary, gender fluid? Honestly could be any one.

Merry-pansexual and very open about it. Just seems like a chill queer dude who smokes a ton of weed and is open to a relationship with anybody

Boromir-excessively emphasizes his straightness but has homoerotic battle moments and after battle showers with his comrades in Gondor. Very repressed bisexual

Aragorn- I think its funny if he’s the token straight but THE BIGGEST ALLY YOU WILL FIND. Literal king passes a bunch of laws enshrining LGBTQ rights cause all his friends are gay

Bonus

Faramir- is transfem and you can’t change my mind. Lesbian with her wife Eowyn. Has bi-to drag queen-to trans character arc.

Eowyn-butch lesbian horse girl and ya know what? We absolutely love her for it. After the war she has a buzzcut.

Bilbo-ace icon. I’M SORRY if you ship Bagginshield but I headcanon him as ace/aro. Hates the idea of sex but wanted kids so he adopted his gay little nephew.

[spopsalt]

More miscellaneous She-Ra pins I found while sorting through Pinterest that made me want to die and my commentary on them. Pt. 3 Fanart Edition.

Something about the vice like grip Catra is using while writing on Adora’s ass is making me feel gross. Listen, if people are into that, it’s cool. It’s just that specifically Catra doing that to specifically Adora makes me sick, especially with that smile Adora is giving. Also, idk if that’s what the artist was going for, but all that combined with the writing ‘C//A Canon’, the ass smack, and Catra having that one dark spot on the dead center of her face that anime characters get when they’re being threatening… It all gives off the air of someone rubbing it in the face and being a douche about it. Like, “Look Catra is about to tear Adora’s stupid ass up because she can and out ship is canon so you can fucking suck it! Haha, you must feel so fucking stupid right now!”

Oh look, seems like someone took inspiration form that one post Nate did with Catra wearing Adora’s shirt because she tore it up so Adora couldn’t wear it anymore. Giving off some weird ‘property’ vibes. Again, I know this can be viewed as something people are into, and it’s okay if someone is. It’s just really creepy for C//A specifically.

Me too, Shadow Weaver, the fuck. I know SW is a shitty mom. No one’s gonna argue that point. But it takes a special kind of shitty parenting when you screw up so bad your children/teenage daughters are making out with eachother. That’s a joke btw, kind of. I think SW is to blame for some things, but C//A isn’t one of them. Hell, she seemed to be wholly against it. Not that I blame her for not wanting that.

Eh. Not the worst one. It’s a funny joke based on a funny gif. But I’m getting real tired of the same jokes over and over. “Adora dumb” “Dumb jock lesbian” And it’s a soccer thing, so there were probably “dumb lesbian” and “useless lesbian” jokes already. I’m not even a lesbian, but I’m getting tired of it. I’m not saying it’s on the level of those outdated “wife bad” jokes. But it’s getting old. People gotta stop treating Adora like a total moron. Also, the gif this is based if isn’t inherently romantic, but the artist just had to add the blushes to make it a C//A thing. God forbid two people exist near eachother without it being a ship thing.

Oh god this fanart...is interesting.

More sexualizing! I'm going to assume they aren't minors in the art for my own sainty and faith in humanity. But still, why are Catradora fans so sexual? I do not get it, can't they just like a ship without making it sexual every 2 seconds?

Ugh. That just feels gross. Why do they think it's cute when Catra messes with Adora's propety? Is it supposed to be some cute thing? I don't get it

Honestly I'd have the same reactions if my daughters started dating. Yes Shadow Weaver was a shitty mom, but they both got raised together and have the same mother figure, they. are. s i b l i n g s

4. Why does everyone try to make Adora seem dumb? She's really smart, Catra's the one who calls her dumb, braindead, and idiot. Which Adora interlized! How cute is that?

[thedeepstate69]

Rating Val ships simply because i can

I stared at my laptop for like 10 mins figuring out how i was gonna order this

Glalaxsea (Astra x Harbor)

A solid 9/10 overall

10/10 ship name

Very simple and very sweet

Nothing too interesting

forget the moon and the sun its moon and sea no i will not be told otherwise

(the moon and the sea fell in love but were separated and now the sea tries to reach for the moon and thats why we have waves is the story behind it btw)

Reyge (Reyna x Sage)

An easy 10/10

7/10 ship name

its good but theres better ya know

The fluff and angst potential is so good

Bitemark (Viper x Chamber)

7/10 ship

oh my god 10/10 ship name

the amount of angst that drips from this ship is delicious

viper falling hard only to find out abt everett lind nd what chambers done

fuck buddies but viper falls in love only to get her heart broken

i like them sad

Fadeshock (Fade x Neon)

10/10 ship imo

ship name is mid im so sorry 2/10

gf's who are afraid of their radiance learning control and acceptance from each other

yes pls

i think they take naps together

Yorunix (Yoru x Pheonix)

a healthy 9/10 ship

yorunix is 1/10 riftfire is 6/10 firewalker (which is what i call them) 10/10

Yoru is so in love with Phoenix and he is very mad about it

Phoenix is oblivious

I just think they love each other

Cyberowl (Sova/Cypher)

7/10 imo but its also one of my favs

8/10 ship name since i think it's pretty dope

*quietly chants in your ear* rivals to lovers rivals to lover rivals to-

Cypher had a wife but still has negative rizz and Sova is a useless homosexual

you know im right

Yokye (Yoru x Skye)

pls don't hurt me for this but 2/10

pretty good ship name tho 8/10

yeahhhhhhhhhhhh i just don't really like it at all as a ship

i can see why it's just....

MOVING SWIFTLY ON

Nanobomb (Raze x Killjoy)

10/10 and i will not be taking critism

10/10 ship name

adhd x autism

both of them aggressively pined for ages

useless lesbians fr

nothin more to say rlly

Viper x Reyna (I have no idea what their ship name is i'm sorry)

8/10 overall

i dont know what they're ship name is but i'm assuming it's good

THE ANGST MMMMMMMMMMM

get outa here with your enemies to lovers they're enemies and lovers

A lot of hatefucking im not gonna lie to you

[wystericwoes]

This is kinda a shit post but here we go.

Cursing, sukunas mentions the word assault but no details. Talk of sex but no sex

Are the jjk characters virgins or not?

Students:

Yuuji-

Absolutely. Have you seen him?

Megumi-

Yes. Fight me it’s realistic. Ain’t no way he’s done it with anyone yet, maybe once in kindergarten he held hands with a girl and he counts that as relationship experience

Nobara-

Honestly, I wanna say yes, but I feel like she had some middle school boyfriend that she did it with.

Maki

Pre shibuya arc, yes. After that, idk who but shes pegging someone. I also wanna say she’s a lesbian but Ik her and Yuta gonna be porking in the future if they haven’t already. (He’s the one who gets fucked btw)

Inumaki

Had to think about this one. But yes. He’s kissed people, but he’s def a virgin

Panda…

That’s a bear

Yuta

No 😭 idk if it was with Rita or something but he’s not as innocent as he looks.

Hakashi

Absolutely not. This man is piping down Kirara every night and has had girlfriends before her.

Kirara

You seen her? No. Too fine

Mai

No, probably was to some random boyfriend she had.

Mechamaru/kokichi

Yes. He’s been in a bathtub in bandages his whole mf life 😭

Miwa

Kissed a boy in first grade and thinks that counts but yes

Momo

No, has had a couple boyfriends

Todo

Say what you want but this man is a virgin. And he’s proud. (Saving himself for that idol)

Kamo

100%. A girl asked him out once and that was it.

Teachers/faculty:

Principal Yaga

No, he’s had a long term partner or two, talked about his puppets afterwards.

Gojo

Do I even gotta say it 😭 his body count isn’t in the thousands like everyone jokes, but only because his standards are crazy fucking high.

Shoko

No, has had boyfriends in her life. Now she just does hookups

Utahime

No, one douchey boyfriend she had in college and maybe one or two later.

Kiyotaka

I seriously doubt it. But he seems so damn stressed all the time he doesn’t get much action.

The adults/sorcerers:

Nanami

No, Tried saving himself for marriage but hooked up with some girl in college/early adult life and has had maybe one or two partners that didn’t last because of his work.

Geto

He’s not but his body count is low. They gotta be a jujutsu sorcerer so he’s just narrowed down his options to like 7 people in the whole fuckin country 💀 when he was younger in highschool maybe he slept with some people either via relationships or otherwise. Canonically was a ladies man and is attractive so he’s got options. (Too bad he’s crazy)! And ofc if you’re a gojogeto shipper than there’s that.

Sukuna

No He’s only ever assaulted people sorry 😭 never has had a real “relationship” (unless of course were talking my series on him) maybe one night stands and that one chick that liked him. Idk he was doing some weird fuckery back then.

Naoya

He paid for sex. Constantly wondering why no girls like him and the clan hasn’t assigned him someone yet (or however that shit works) and so he just straight up got a prostitute, it’s a secret he’ll take to the grave. Poor sex worker his dick and ass is probably dirty because washing is “gay”.

Hajime

No, lived a long ass time and definitely did it.

Hiromi

Not a huge priority for him but no

Mei Mei

No and it was to someone other than her brother thank god

Yuki

She is too fine and boisterous not to be. She’s definitely had her pipe work rearranged if yk what I mean. Plus all that traveling gives her options

Ino

No. Def has had a few relationships. He’s the type of guy who scored when he was 13 to someone a little older and thinks he’s a baller when he’s just a victim 😭

Toji

Literally has fucking children. And canonically was a player before he met his wife. Man is ran through

All the curses are virgins because they’re either ugly or choso who hasn’t been alive long enough to know what sex is 💀

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S1Ep16!

"Mortal Beloved" well that plus the picture of Gabrielle and Xena looking at each other is just super gay. Lesbianism all round

"help me" Oh. Absolutely not. Byeee

Yup, I too would run off screaming

Xena wanna help a womannn

Awww, Xena keeping Gabrielle safe

Marcus? Should I know who this is...

AWWWW GABRIELLE DOESN'T WANT XENA TO MAYBE DIE

"the man I loved" bullshit.

Yes Gabrielle, look with a bit more sapphic yearning please

SHDHDHDHD CHARON IS A FUNKY GUY

"You're not dead?"

"And now I got tourists" Funky guy love him

Woop, everyone beating up everyone...

What is Xena wearing btw

Ffs, they have no rules? That just sounds like chaosss

"How are you able to travel" OHOHOHHH

He is silly

Who is this ugly dick...

AMONGUS

"smell the living" wdym SMELL you creep

GABRIELLE WAITING FOR HER

Dude is super awkward

A tower... 😂

Looks like Krillitine Doctor Who CGI. Love it

Ew. Put on your shirt.

Candleees

Hades is so... *shrugs*

My guy... You're going in circles

Hades is so... Meh XD

Hades looks like he's having a midlife crisis

OH NO GABRIELLE RUN IT'S THE GUY

NOOOOOO LEAVE HER ALONE

Hah, she's gonna beat his ASS

GET HIS NUTSSSS

"NOOOOO!!!" damn you're SUPER SUPER gay

That's an "avenging my gf" scream

Footprints reminds me of the Mt Doom scene in LOTR ROK

"Gabrielle, are you alright?" SHE SAYS SOFTLY

"The next thing I saw was you. Which is a very pleasant sight." leeeesbian

"You're dead O_o"

"I'm not planning to close my eyes all night" PFFT

No it's okay, let him die again

Gonna ignore that random straightness

"Help us. Please." in a lame voice

Ffs is he gonna try and murder the bride

What's his problem tho

Xena pretending to be a different woman again? 😂

I want Gabrielle to tuck me in lovingly

Oh I hate that...

Xena's in the bed tho isn't she

YESS

Stabby stabby staaab

Marcus, no

Xena has a wife

"You dead this time?" "No."

*shows crown* "All aboarddd"

THE HANGING GARDENS OF DISGUSTING DISEASES SJDDJS

Omg pls the CGI it kinda looks like early Barbie movies. More disturbing. Think that stupid elephant...

Hades is such a SHITTTT XD

EWWWW.

BWAHAHA SHE STABBED HIM

Awww, Xena

And now Marcus can frolic in the Elysian fields

Gabrielle waiting for her gf

HOW SHE'S TOUCHING AND HOLDING HERRR

Yup, your bestie is in the fields now. And you got your wife.

[my-castles-crumbling]

quick confession whenever I see cas is a mauraders fic I think of you instead of Dorcas, and I read a lot of Dorlene because lesbians, so this happens frequently. Anyway, just wanted to say how much of a positive impact you’ve made, you’re as crazy as the rest of us, but you’re also giving advice, (this is your reminder to drink water and stuff), and that’s really appreciated. But make sure to take care of yourself too! Me and so many people appreciate you!

Hahahaha this is funny because I HC Dorcas as having a VERY different personality as me. But I mean....I would be thrilled to be with Marlene if i wasn't with my wife, so I'm not mad.

Thank you so much for making me smile btw <3 Please take care of yourself as well!

[butch-reidentified]

I'm sorry if it came off as rude, I was agreeing with your reblog 😔 I'm aware that butch doesn't really mean masculine, as I said it's just a personal preference, and the butch/femme dichotomy always read as a bit weird to me because femme literally just means "woman".

To be fair, I only have the french context for this and those terms aren't nearly as popular here. But if you have good resources about the history of those terms I'd genuinely love to educate myself on it, it's quite fascinating.

Love your blog btw !

you did not come off rude don't worry!! just felt it was important to be said!!

i used to speak french very well but not so good anymore, but i do understand feeling weird about the term femme bc of it forsure. I would appreciate if we had a different term specifically for lesbians who are - and please interpret this abstractly bc the language for what I'm attempting to describe here simply does not exist in any language I speak - "feminine" in a way that (intentionally or otherwise) subverts conventional femininity and is not appealing to the traditional male gaze/behavioral preference. sort of like... unapologetic outspoken opinionated women, casual dresses and leg hair, floral prints and bushy eyebrows vibes, but not exactly? aspects of femininity but not total feminine performance, and most importantly with gnc behaviors like importantly including unlearning femsoc etc? women who have done the work to unlearn the femininity forced on us growing up and afterward found they genuinely like select "feminine" things in a nonperformative way? language has always felt wildly limiting to me but I'm hoping at least some will understand me on this. and really hoping nobody takes it too literally lol

the reason I (playfully) call my wife femme is she has done that work, has intensively introspected on her female socialization and spent significant time intentionally defying it to give herself perspective and a shot at engaging with traits typically seen as "feminine" from as much of a truly voluntary place as possible, and found she enjoys certain things that fall into that category. most of those things are invisible to people outside our relationship and closest friend circles, whereas if we're downtown she's not going to be viewed as feminine by strangers at all. I think that's a way more meaningful lesbian archetype than using "femme" (or any alternative term) to mean "gender conforming/totally feminine" or even, if we're honest, often used to refer to "straight-passing" lesbians, which my wife is not even close to being.

I personally feel that butch has a highly specific and unique crucial lesbian cultural context & history that would & should persist in a postgender world, that is much more about a specific lesbian "archetype" than relationship to gender & can exist without relationship to gender just fine. to me, butchness requires gender nonconformity in a patriarchal, gendered world, but that's only a prerequisite, not a defining characteristic of butchness itself. does that make sense? sometimes my communication style only makes sense to me n my wife lmfao (same w hers even tho its very diff from mine)

I agree about butch/femme. it's not - or at least shouldn't be seen as - a dichotomy. I don't prefer feminine women, I prefer gnc women for SURE, but I don't consider myself butch4butch bc my preference is for gnc women in general not just butches (like what I said ab my wife being gnc but not butch).

I used to have resources on this, but unfortunately I have a terrible memory and can't remember them at the moment to save my life. hoping someone who follows me will!!

this was much longer than I anticipated lmao & idk if it will actually make any real sense to anyone else 😅

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

I love reading your thoughts on CWF as you rewatch! I’ve found the more I think about the show/book the better it is to me. The frustration and complexities in the relationship dynamics are what makes me like it more than Normal People. But also is the reason it’s not as successful. I wish it got more appreciation. There are some flaws that you have pointed out but overall I found it to be great. Keep your thoughts coming! (Btw stuff like this is why I stay on tumblr.)

(My thoughts have not come because I’ve been very preoccupied these days with real-life stuff, but I promise I’ll finish the series!).

Anyway yeah, I agree!

I remember Joe saying that he likes Rooney’s work because she doesn’t tie the story up with a nice bow in the end, and that’s true, but I think it’s more true for CWF than it is for NP, and I think that’s one of the reasons why NP was more successful.

It’s not the only factor (NP is better written, better directed and better acted too, and it’s overall a better product than CWF, imo), but it is true that “boy meets girl, they struggle to make it work, there are miscommunications, they are complex individuals with complex thoughts, and yet they get together in the end” is a more “palatable” story than “depressed man cheats on his wife with a much younger woman who was also in a lesbian relationship before”.

The former is relatable to a lot of people and it’s also the kind of story we grew up watching in movies and TV. The latter is more peculiar, and the mere idea that people might love more than one person at the same time AND that they might cheat and still be a good person is something that a lot of people just can’t get on board with (I’m not judging).

CWF is messier and there are no clear antagonists to the main couple. You love/hate every character, there are no clear comically evil characters like in NP (Jamie, anyone? The most cartoonishly evil boyfriend every created? There’s nothing similar in CWF).

So, yeah… NP is just better and deserves more praise than CWF, but a lot of people just didn’t give CWF any chance because of its themes, imo.

[daenystheedreamer]

wips but theyre just random threads i go insane over for a couple days and then let them languish forever

rhaenicent vamp one shot: yeah its another lesbian vampire thing. but its targs who are weird vamp creatures and alicent doesnt know and there's all these weird rules about not leaving her chambers at night and how the new fashion is high collars (to protect one's neck from the cold). otto is viserys' blood bank but otto is like dried out and is planning to swap out with alicent. alicent FREAKS and runs out and rhaenyra. well. Heh. a predator chases her prey 😈

jae era uzumaki: this one ive actually written like 50% its What if a huge black hole spiral appeared in the red keep. opens up on the night of alyssa and baelon's wedding im sure that means nothing.

apocalypsoiaf: this one is a series so:

roadside picnic type au where after the long night hits, the castles all become fucked up anomalous Zones that have weird gravity and creatures and ooze etc. but theyre filled with food and tapestries and gold to loot so some people (not called stalkers) go in on bounty hunts funded by the remnants of the citadel/fot7

so there's this tidbit that people of the faith will be buried with a crystal so there's this new wave of gravediggers hoping to find crystals and gold they can sell. but the corpses are no longer dead so its zombies :)

small village is overrun by insane apocalypse cult for the stranger except the actual apocalypse does happen. its the interpersonaldrama between the village locals and the stranger zealots. village is on the red fork. inspired by little english village cresswood dale being invaded by sovcit weirdos

daemyra 1001 arabian nights scheharazade: wot it sounds like. rhaenyra telling daemon a long story and its like weird and fucked up and horny and she keeps edging him with plot points. DAEMYRA NEUTRAL its honestly more rhaenicent if anything

barbcat parent teach conference + cheating: wot it says on the tin. they were uni roommates back in the day when cat was experimenting with her demons(bisexuality)

jrt: the jeyne robb theon teen pregnancy fic i used to think i might actuallyfinish 💀 i still think about it i just hate writing and i hate not writing but then i write and i hate it. etcetera ad nauseum

untitled danelle x fem!oc: my oc jeyne whent who has a employee/boss relationship with her lady danelle. a little bit totally causes her downfall

wiggles daensa: i was nostalgic about the wiggles for a couple days and went insane thinking about children's entertainer dany + sansa who got parentified and babysits rickon and robin and theyre obsessed with dany from the tv

various theon threads:

living in a share house with some other northern kids. theon isnt even on the lease he's the asshole dipshit boyfriend even though he's essentially another roommate who showers too long and doesnt wash his dishes

a high school au (i know) but its mostly theon trying to convince robb to fuck in his parents' bed for

asha as theon's legal guardian :)

lovecraftian au where robb is a 1930s noir detective (recently divorced by his ex-wife jeyne for being Too Dedicated To His Job) and he's contacted by asha after theon goes missing. turns out theon is a lovecraftian monster and is being used by euron/ramsay for evil deeds

mafia au but instead of being sexy bdsm its robb accidentlly visiting a greyjoy money laundering restaurant where theon is the only employee and even though theon is the WORST server robb keeps coming. and the food is all just frozen lasagne that theon heats up in the microwave btw and the coffee tastes like ass

this is actually so hard to compile cos i have horrific paranoia and cant stand labelling my docs anything incriminating like "lesbian fanfiction" so i have to decipher what the fuck i meant by

and the body of the doc is two paragraphs of dialogue my brain was tormenting me with and the ages of the characters. do you know how hard it is to figure out what the fuck i was trying to write when the mock up draft is entirely this:

^ this and also more penis puns. but i think ditlo is day in the life and cat is cat but idfk what the sta is for. it could be fucking anything. i think i was gonna queerbait barbcat in this so it cant even be a ship????

[sonsband]

As Catiny’s main vocalist - who do you think has the spiciest vocals in kpop right meow?

How spicey do you mean?

(also if you like discussions of music I sometimes do those on my side blog changdyke and would love to talk about vocalists or music with people! okay shameless plug done)

Well, the spiciest vocals come from Changmin, who is a level 2 spicey boy at MOST. I mean, the 240105 Music Bank high note for "Down"? I don't know how half the boy groups didn't immediately vaporize as soon as he did That. I know it was probably just that he didn't hit the note at first, but he made it sound so good with that dissonance resolving into whistle register? (I would say something about Nissan Stadium Forever Love but until that's back up on YouTube I refuse to contemplate it so I don't burst into tears) But I'm a hater and don't like him so don't put him on the list.

EXID's Solji might not be active right meow, but she just did that musical so she counts!

Of course BTOB, Eunkwang and Minhyuk especially, I mean, "Boom" era was everything to me.

All of A.C.E, obviously, the world is a little brighter for their comeback. I can't wait for Donghun to absolutely devastate me again, but friendly reminder for your daily required viewing of their It's Live performance of "Goblin".

WayV's Xiaojun, I know Mujin Service is pitch corrected but the sheer emotion in "Ashes" is too much. He doesn't need to do as much as he does at all times, but thank god for it.

Does Forestella count as kpop? Because they've got the spice and the spicey vocals. All of them, but Woorim's wife was right to lock him down after that performance of "Bad Romance".

I might be ride or die for Seonghwa Main Vocal When, but back in like February 2021 I said San from Ateez strained a lot and he said "why would you say such a thing? btw hi lesbians" and just immediately went fuckin insane. I'm bummed it happened after they stopped actively promoting it but I will never shut up about how when he gets a mic for "Turbulence" he saves the whole song with that modulation to keep it from being a diminished fifth. I know he's a great dancer but he's vocal line for a reason. Watch "Breathe" btw.

SPEAKING OF "BREATHE"!!!! [edit: I got too excited to jump into IU that I forgot to finish this, sorry, I know it's a Lee Hi song] Lee Hi is that good good alto and the fact she had that voice at debut? We Love Altos.

IU!!!!! GIRL!!!!!!! No list of spiciest vocals would be complete without IU. "Love Poem" should be a UNESCO World Heritage piece of culture. I love her and I can't believe you're keeping her hostage and away from us, Addy.

Fun fact: DK is actually short for "DyKe rights" (editor's note: this is not true) and my sister will let me blast "Hot" in her car specifically so we can vocalize along with his chest voice there. He's got such a good ear.

The Boyz genuinely has some power vocals. Why do you think his name is SANGyeon? That video of him singing in a parking lot plays behind my eyes while I try to fall asleep.

Shownu simply does not get the credit he deserves as a vocalist. His voice is more subtle, so maybe not particularly spicey, but he's my husband and I will not let him go unappreciated on this list. What's the opposite of spicey? That's how I feel about I.M, except he's actually got interesting vocals, he's technically weaker but I think that makes him more interesting vocally. Plus he's the King of Vocal Fry (complimentary).

Another vocal fry master -- Taehyun from TXT. I feel so much about that kid. Most of it good.

For the hags, all of 2pm! (I'm not taking antipsychotics right now so I'm allowed to be delusional and they're active in my heart.) "Make It" was THE song of 2021, no notes at all. And "ADTOY" had no right to be that good. Also we love grown men being grown up spicey.

Woodz, don't talk to me about enlistment if I don't acknowledge it then it isn't happening. The live versions of "Chaser" and "Trigger" and "Accident" and and and and? I think his harmonizing gets overshadowed sometimes by his vocal power, especially since he has to harmonize with his backing track rather than another singer, but bro... bro... Also he was the closest to a Changmin "Mirotic" note, I will ignore any arguments to the contrary.

Red Velvet's Seulgi has really good vocals when she's given the chance to flex them, I really wish we could hear more from her. Underappreciated, tbh.

Highlight's Dongwoon, do we need to talk about that performance of "Fiction" again? Because I will talk about that performance of "Fiction" again. And I choose to believe his scene in "Good Luck" is part of the most watched section because of that little C# Major moment. Yeah his only other band mate Yeoseob is good but I gotta give the crown to Dongwoon. Also his outfits from last May's concerts were so spicey.

I'm so excited for Chungha's comeback. I know she's not really appreciated for her vocals since she's definitely a pop vocalist, but "Play"! I'm not even mad when she uses playback on music shows, she's in chest voice enough.

I can't believe I'm about to put a manlet on this list but Hui's got the spice. He's got the vocals. He deserves. That's all.

And how about Doyeon from Weki Meki. Siyeon from Dreamcatcher (omg that "Overdose" cover). Ailee, obviously. BB Girls Yujeong. Sistar just as a whole but especially Hyolyn, "Layin Low" changed me as a person and I swear it wasn't just the Nicole Kirkland choreo.

Okay I've just powered through so many Vocalists that my brain's been turned to mush. Tell me what else you think!

[altschmerzes]

Hey you don’t have to answer this obvs if it’s something you don’t want to share/talk about but I’m curious how did you meet your wife/navigate getting married in an aromantic way? I kinda feel like I might be aro and I’m getting older and feeling like. I want a partner and I don’t want to be alone but I don’t know if I really feel romantic love, and I just feel kinda hopeless about finding that, but it’s nice knowing there are people who do find it.

absolutely, yeah!!! i love to talk about my relationship honestly, for a lot of reasons (it makes me feel very happy and warm inside, and i love to talk about this wonderful thing i have in my life with this wonderful person, i am a Wife Guy for real) but also for exactly this reason too - bc i don't think a lot of people know that what we have, what we're doing, is an option. or if they do think of it, they don't think it's realistic or something that can actually happen.

i spent a long time thinking that what i wanted, the thing that would actually make me happy, that i daydreamed about just... it was a nice thought but the odds that i would be able to actually have it were so low that it didn't warrant thinking about at all. i wanted a partner, someone i could live with and raise kids with and build a life together with, and i wanted it completely platonically. i didn't want romance and i didn't want sex either but i did want intimacy, emotionally and physically. i assumed this would only be possible with another aro(ace) person, because i didn't think anyone who wasn't aroace would want that, or that it would be like. unfair somehow, or asking someone to give enormous things up to be with me. (this was all a bunch of jumping to assumptions and internalized bullshit, btw. my fiancee is a lesbian and is just as happy as i am, wants our marriage and our life together, exactly the way that it is, just as much as i do - and has been extremely patient and kind in reassuring me of this.)

(haha this got long again, it usually seems to when i'm talking about My Aro Experience and relationships and em sldj. further under the cut-)

and then it was like, well, i already have no idea how i'd meet another aroace person irl, and even then i have no idea if we'd be compatible. if we'd have the same values and vision for our lives. if they'd want kids. if they'd be comfortable with the kind of physical affection i really wanted to engage in. etc. so i just kind of told myself that y'know, it would have been nice if i had the option of not being alone, but i didn't, so i had to just get used to it. (and it is perfectly fine if someone wants to be alone. that's great. that's a huge thing the aro community is fighting for all of the time. but i did not want that. i just thought it was the only choice i had, if i wasn't willing to force myself into a romantic and probably sexual relationship i didn't want.

my wife and i actually met quite a while back, when we were like. sixteen or so, online. we've been friends for a really long time. which is why when im asked how long we've been together by people who don't know our relationship is platonic, or that i'm aro, or whatever, i have a hard time answering it XD. because like, our engagement was the first we'd ever decided to Be In A RelationshipTM, but if you think about it as a progression of the same relationship we've always had, just as dating before an engagement would be, we've been together for like. coming up on close to ten years.

figuring out navigating our relationship has been a little difficult at times but mostly it's been absolutely wonderful. difficult mostly in the sense that there's no script for this, nothing set out that tells us this is what a relationship like ours is supposed to look like, or usually looks like. we've had to figure it out ourselves. but also that's one of the things that's really been wonderful about it. we can decide at every single point what it is we want, what it is that'll make us happy.

like - at first we decided to have separate bedrooms when we moved in together after we finished our respective degrees/got married/got immigration all sorted out. and then after sharing one when we went to my hometown to introduce em to my family we were like. well. we were fools, huh. so, turns out we're sharing a bedroom. (and i'm... really happy with that, particularly, because it turns out i sleep really well when em and i are together. i used to write a lot about characters sleeping in the same bed, cuddling, etc, and i still do, but i always sort of assumed it was completely obvious i had no idea what i was talking about bc it couldn't possibly be the way i described it. and now that i've been there, it's better.)

the rest of the world is a little trickier, haha. it's a little weird and bad sometimes that people are constantly assuming i'm in a romantic relationship, tbh. even in the aro community i see a lot of people talking like the only people around are nonpartnering/single or in romantic relationships. and the rest of the world, people who don't know i'm aro or who do but like.... forget that a lot? or assume it's changed or doesn't matter or something? is kind of exhausting and uncomfortable. for the most part, we don't bother explaining the nature of our relationship to people. this is also something we talked about! we discussed how much we wanted to clarify or contextualize, and decided that ultimately like... with the exception of people we're very close to, and in contexts like this (fairly anonymous post on ye olde internet with the ability to immediately block anyone who clowns on it), it's really nobody's business unless we decide it is and we're cool with just letting people assume whatever. that doesn't mean it doesn't suck sometimes, but it's a calculus i've made and we've made together.

anyways, just. there you have it!!! i trust my fiancee and i love them and they love me and our greatest priority is always making sure the other person feels safe and loved and respected. and i feel that in every conversation we have. it's a unique situation and we've had to figure a lot of things out along the way, and that's included a lot of conversations i just don't know how to have, but we've figured it out together. i felt hopeless for a really long time, too. i wish i could go back and tell myself in the past where i'd end up. and that's part of why i keep talking about it so much and so openly, so that people know they don't have to just... there are options, y'know? options for going after what you want and talking about what you want with anyone in your life who you have a significant relationship with. i could've cheated myself out of the best thing that's ever happened to me by assuming it just wasn't possible. i'm so glad that i didn't.

[fallenclan]

Since everyone here are sharing their clangen shenanigans, how about if I tell mine?

So long story short, I was making a clan (MottledClan), where I am trying to see how my clan will go in 1200 moons. So there was this one specific cat (Pigeonshadow) who was a HUGE mess, like straight up. She would try to think about how she could kill the leader and become the next one without letting anyone know

So I just went: "What if I make that true lol?" And I tried EVERYTHING to make her leader. By sabotaging her relationship with the clan's leader, going ahead and antagonizing patrols with the purpose to make him lose at least 1 life, heck, I EVEN made the deputy sacrifice themself by attacking a huge dog at a lone patrol.

And guess what? The next few moons after she became deputy, she got frostbitten and died :))) I tried to make the same with her mate since she also disliked the leader(? BUT IN LESS THAN 10 MOONS SHE ATE TAINTED PREY AND DIED WHAT

I guess clangen doesn't like it when I make important plot points by myself!!!! Now both cats are in the dark forest because we love gay evil cats in evil place for sure

Sorry for too much text btw!!! I thought it would be fun to share this storytime in particular

pigeonshadow & her wife 🤝 scorchstar & nettlestem

slightly evil lesbians that were at some point deputy

[docwormie]

I don't even know what this is but I'm a gay nerd so !!! Some random thoughts that have been festering in my brain about Stella Spotlight's queerness:

So we all know how queercoded this whole show is, but my fav example of this is Stella and I don't see enough people talking about it !

Especially in the 2022 version but she always had this evelyn hugo vibe anyways !

Her story with Zéro Janvier is clearly devoid of any romantic interest on either part. Like sure, Ego Trip has some lyrics that imply feelings between them but each of these lyrics actually focuses more on loving themselves. Let's take a closer look: "Moi je suis avec toi parce que tu me fais du bien/toi tu te sers de moi pour arriver à tes fins" (btw the parallel between this and Johnny/Sadia !!!) is the whole message of the song: they're in that relationship for purely selfish reasons and there's no sign of affection at any point. "Un regard de toi me fait monter aux nues" is clearly about Zéro using Stella's fame to gain popularity, and even the proposal is staged as him wanting to gain possession over her (thus reinforcing the "golden cage" that's a leitmotiv with Stella's character).

I've seen people interpreting Zéro as queer too and him needing a wife to pursue his career because of homophobia or whatever. Idk if I support this theory because there are already 2 canon and out queer characters and their queerness doesn't seem like an actual issue in Monopolis, but I looove the idea of Zéro and Stella as a beard couple.

The same idea could apply to Stella: on top of her getting "old", she needs to maintain her image of purity and tradition ("symbole de la race blanche/de nos valeurs, et de nos libertés" implies she's already a right-wing symbol??)

Stella and her maid(s)... much to think about......

It's confirmed that she was inspired by Marlene Dietrich and Marylin Monroe, two notoriously queer actresses, c'mon guys ! (If I'm not mistaken)

The Tango de l'amour et de la Mort as an idea is so queer already and I'm mad it was deleted from every version post 1979. But can you imagine the lesbian energy radiating from a Sadia/Stella duet ? Maybe even with the choreography ??

Finally, in 2022, the Grand Gourou is played alternatively by a woman and a man, and Stella is as attracted to them no matter who the actor is. There's rainbow and bisexual lighting during the 0rgy. Idk what you want more from me !!! The story writes itself !! Stella is attracted in no way, shape or form to Zero but she sneaks out to see her "therapist" girlfriend ?? I'm gonna collapse

Fellas is it gay to throw yourself from the top of your husbands tower like 5 minutes after the wedding because you hate him ?

Anyways that's it for today but I will be back, the sapphic Stella Spotlight agenda will spread and there's nothing you can do to stop it !

[icxxnic]

If y'all excuse me i would like to do my delulu list to what i think of utt kpop groups...

BlackPink:

Jisoo:...So at the very start of my journey as a blink and a kpop stan...I pretty much got a straight church girl vibe from her, however now I get the I love everybody vibe, so for me maybe a Pansexual girly.

Jennie: B I S E X U A L, she screams, she cries, she sing, she smell, she exudes (I don't even know what this word mean) bisexuality.

Rosé: Lesbian, pussy eater, her hand is my collar, there's not a moment were I don't scream "LESBIAN" after seeing a photo or watching a video of her.

Lisa: She will seduce you and fuck up your life, love her for that.

Aespa:

Karina: Girly just confirmed that she's a bi girl, so who am I to disagree.

Giselle: Hot mama loves a hot pussy, yeah she gives me lesbian vibes.

Winter:...girly pop needs her mommy, nothing else to say.

Ningning: Another one that will seduce you and fuck up your life too, bi girl's stuff.

G Idle:

Soyeon: c'mon y'all, she loves a tall, muscular, and hot woman ok, she shit on men.

Minnie: Bi princess, fuck me up and I will thank her.

Miyeon: She gives me bratty energy, so yeah, just a woman would strong enough to handle her.

Yuqi: I think she's bi too, but prefer women.

Shuhua: SHE IS SOOJIN'S WIFE BRO!

Anyways, there was more but I got lazy, REMINDER, THIS IS JUST FOR FUN AND IT'S MY OPINION, some of y'all get hurt easily.

Get well soon babe

totally agree with every word here, but i think aeri is bi and ning is a lesbian, i just got a feeling…

(btw yes, friendly reminder that it’s all for fun and i don’t wanna see anyone upset about this here, no one dies if we call someone gay yk)

abd thank you anon 🙏🏻 i feel better after sleep idk what was that in the morning but probably body decided to release stress

[picklebunbun]

Heyyy, I'm here for a request, platonic because I just think I'm extremely cute for not doing it!

Could you do a Flippy/Fliqpy with their lesbian best friend and reader who, as a very arrogant and childish but sweet and kind personality, was forcefully married to a really violent man for years by her parents because they can't accept that she likes girls

Flippy/Flipqy + comphet lesbian! Reader hcs

❁

———————༻☁︎︎✿☁︎︎༺———————

hcs or oneshot/series: headcanons

fem! reader, feminine terms, you/yours pronouns

genre: pretty angsty, but there is fluff dw

romantic/platonic?: platonic

fandom: happy tree friends

cw: domestic abvs3/viol3nc3, homophobia, mentions of bruises, misogyny which causes reader to get physically ass@ulted

(angel’s note🪽: aghh ! I’m sorry for not responding to y’all’s requests for so long,, I have to practice this thing for english since english isn’t my mother tongue, btw the scenario is last btw. This request is actually pretty sad, AND I LOVE IT !! Anyways, enough talking, here)

~~~

Flippy hc’s

at first, when he saw you, he honestly thought you were a bit egotistical. It was until he actually took the chance to meet you that he realized how sweet you were

you are such a hoy to be around, in the whole god-forsaken town he could actually be around you when he goes into a violent killing spree, and he always sees that your safe

when you said you were a lesbian he was very supportive, even asking if you had a girlfriend or a wife

though, when he asked that question you seemed to be a bit anxious

you admitted that you had a husband, but it wasn’t like you were actually in love with him, your parents just set you up with him because, well, they just don’t like the fact that you’re a lesbian

coming out to them was a hellish experience, it made it hard to actually trust anyone with your secret

don’t get me wrong, Flippy was extremely confused, like why would you marry a man if you don’t even like them? It was only when you explained to him why and what comphet was

over a period of time, he saw you patch yourself up, everytime it was something different, whether it’d be your wrist, eye or your whole neck and collarbone

it was an understatement to say that he was worried, it didn’t take long to figure out the situations you found yourself with your husband

he was extremely mad, you has to physically stop him from murdering your husband (bless your heart because I would’ve let him end the bastard in a heartbeat). You were like a little sister, you mean so much to him, it’s scary to think that one day the son of a [can’t say bad words] would go too far and you’d be 6 feet under

it’s okay though because when you finally can’t take it anymore, he’ll always have a weapon ready ⁂ (or he’ll call the police idk)

~~~

Flipqy hc’s

actually injures your husband, like not even joking

he sees him as a enemy so he’ll treat him like an enemy

stops only if you forcefully push him off, but no one can escape Flipqy, so just be prepared when he comes into your house and you see a dead corpse next to you

you are so tooth-rottenly nice, why would anyone hurt you. The only ones who would hurt you are apathetic blood-sucking psychopaths (which could be Flipqy but he actually likes you so)

your childlike personality kind of freaked him out, it was like dealing with a little kid. Flipqy wasn’t that good around kids, his system is only “kill or be killed”

maybe it was just a cover from the burden you carry on your back but it’s not like it was your fault, besides, it shouldn’t even bother him

Flipqy got some time getting used to you especially with your cockiness, he thought you were annoying at first, maybe he attempted to stab you, maybe not, idk

but when he finally trusted you, he made it his mission to protect you. Since Flipqy only knows about the war he basically saw you as a comrade, someone actually worth protecting

~~~

scenario:

italics: thinking, bold: yelling

this situation made you way nervous than you should’ve been. You were about to come out to your best friend. You were a lesbian, you have been for a long time, marrying men just didn’t appeal to you when you were younger and it definitely didn’t interest you as you got older. Your parents on the other hand didn’t like the fact that you were showing interest in other girl, they said “in order to be a proper lady, you have to marry a man”, what a joke.

You wanted to meet for coffee, just to get out of the house. It was so scary being around your husband. Some days, you don’t know if he’ll outright choke you or break a chair from how angry he gets.

“hey, [name]!”

“oh! hi flippy!!”

You ran up and hugged him, he embraced your tackled by hugging you back

“didn’t you want to talk about something? You sounded a bit nervous on the phone..”

“uhh, ya! let’s sit down”

You bit your lip, you were stressing out, obviously, Flippy wouldn’t judge but it was that 1% of doubt in your brain that made you think otherwise. You fiddled with your fingers

“did you already order for us?”

“huh? Oh! Yeah I did! I’m just great like that”

Flippy chuckled, you returned that gesture with a warm smile, but then it immediately changed into a frown

“something’s on your mind.. what is it?”

you exhaled, Flippy straightened his posture, it must’ve been something important

“I know you said that you’d never judge me… so.. there’s something I have to get off my chest. I am a lesbian, I like girls, wlw, and I knowthatitmightbewrongbutIjustcan’thelpit-“

“-woah woah calm down, the only part I caught was the fact that you were a lesbian”

“.. yes.. I am, I’m just a bit scared that you won’t accept me just because-“

“what? That’s crazy, I don’t care what sexuality you are! I’m not even the one dating you, it shouldn’t matter”

Those were the words you were you waiting to hear. You didn’t have to worry about it anymore

“so, do you have a girlfriend yet?”

~~~