#my love language is acts of service if you couldnt tell

[firemenenthusiast]

—“like earth orbiting the sun”

farleigh start x fem!reader

summary: farleigh start! who makes his girlfriend his entire personality.

content warning: sfw, sweet fluff all the wayyy, farleigh being down bad for reader. farleigh being sweet (rare), suggestive themes at the end but just a little bit

a/n: giggling, kicking my feet, rolling on the bed while writing this. farleigh just one chance pls

farleigh had always told himself and people around him that love’s a scam. he was taught that family are supposed to love each other. but after learning about what happened between his family and his mom, why should he believe in such thing ? after they hurt his mom in the name of love ? he refused to believe in such thing. until he felt it himself.

-ever since he’s fallen for you he’s willing to use all of the love he has on you. ever since you show up into his life its like his earth stopped orbiting the sun and started orbiting you instead. you’re his new-found love. but farleigh’s still the same old farleigh who’s too proud to say it. so he shows it instead. you understood long ago that his love language is act of service that he only does for you. anyone else that wants him to do something out of his will can fuck off. so he said.

“you’re going out again ?” you swiftly turn to face your roommate sitting on her bed, folding her clothes rather messily. she couldnt care less if theyre not stacked symmetrically, just wanted to have the mountain of unfolded clothes out of her chair. “of course, its friday night! aren’t you ?” you cheerfully say as your hands busy putting on the earrings you’d picked out earlier. “is that new ?” she asks, eyes squinting in an attempt to have a closer look before getting up to actually take a look. “-and no, i’d rather stay in. wow these are pretty- if they ever go missing best bet that’s me”. you hold still as she examines the newly bought earrings before chuckling at her joke. “yeah, farleigh saw them when he was walking around town” you hear her groan before plopping herself down onto her bed. you giggle at her response. “im sorry! i promise to not mention his name anymore” you raise both your hands to surrender before letting out a laugh.

you couldn’t blame her, you’d be annoyed too. its always farleigh this, farleigh that. farleigh bought me this, farleigh bought me that- and you love him for that. always letting you in on stuff. he tells you everything too. thanks to him, you can atleast watch out for those people he’d gossip about, so you dont get into their mess. if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t know anything. you’re not the type to hop around searching for gossips but you love hearing about them, then fueling his gossips with your insults. in that sense you’re fit for each other, and you’re happy to have your own personal source of campus gossip. “do i look okay ?” you take one last look at your reflection in the bodysized mirror hung on the wall, smoothing out your casual dress. nothing too sexy or uncomfortable, you just wanted to chill and have some drink. “you look absolutely gorgeous like always m’darling” your roommate teases you before giggles erupt between the two of you. “where are you going anyways? need your location” she asks, not bothered to look as she’s more focused on folding a tshirt.

“the pub- like always. farle-“ his name almost slip your tongue as you receive a warning look from your roommate. you widen your eyes as you mouth an ‘okay’ before saying, “well he, who shall not be named- invited me. wants me there, he said” she rolls her eyes. “he always wants you EVERYWHERE” “bet you’re there when he goes shopping for new underwear”. she jokes. you look at her with your head cocked to the side, confused. her jaw drops as she points at you “oh my gosh, you’ve totally done that !” she gives you the most dramatic mind blown look ever “is that not normal ?” “fucks sake its not !” you shrug at her, not caring for her going ballistic. it’s not like you’re always there with him anywhere. shit, are you ?. you cant help but give it a quick thought. well you sometimes have classes buildings away from each other, so no, you think. a normal response for someone in denial. making sure you’ve put everything you need in your purse, you blow your roommate a kiss before waving her bye bye to which she jokingly shoos you away

the pub’s busier than other nights with it being the weekend and all but mostly because you and farleigh’s friendgroup members are all bunched up together tonight. courtesy of felix offering to cover every round of drinks. who would pass up on an offer like that ? you’re approaching the bar, lips letting out singsongs as your fingers play with the new earring on your right earlobe. farleigh had offered to walk you from your dorm but you declined, telling him to save you a seat instead. so he did just that. also because its just a 5-minute walk or so. the atmosphere in the pub getting thick as he’s getting antsy waiting, almost barking at his friends who tried to sit in the seat designated for you by him. “that’s for my girlfriend you dumb” he told them. as felix walks towards the table at which they’re all circled around, farleigh’s head cocks seeing the pub’s door being pushed from outside. he almost jumped out his seat seeing that it’s you. “there she is !” he exclaims, he’s quick to get you at the door. everyone else cheers seeing you walk with your hand in farleigh’s, fingers intertwined.

as soon as you’re both seated he has his hand around your waist, resting at your thigh. “how was the walk ?” he asks, his nose almost nudging yours. you lean in to give him a quick kiss before nodding, “it was nice, a little breezy” you told him without giving it a second thought. he quickly took off his knitted cardigan-like sweater to drape it over your shoulders. you giggle at his reaction, you didn’t think he’d react that way as you weren’t trying to imply that you were cold. as he is admiring your pretty face, he notices the shiny thing on your earlobe. “is that—“ his hand reach up to touch the earrings, a huge smile appears on your face before nodding. “wanted to show you. you pick the prettiest things for me. maybe i should bring you when i shop for jewelries” its been long since you last went jewelry shopping. probably since you started dating him cuz he always buy you shiny things that he’d stumble upon. he spends a lot of time looking to pick the prettiest among them. he would buy them all but he thinks that it would only show that he’s lazy. he wants you to know how much he loves you and the time he spends picking them out shows it.

farleigh would go absolutely feral whenever there’s like a bazaar on campus where students set up their businesses’ booths cuz that means there will be girls selling their handmade jewelries. he thinks they’re so pretty that it would be a waste if they’re not being worn by you. bazaars happen maybe a couple times a year and the girls already know him cuz he spends the longest time looking at their rings, necklaces and earrings trying to pick out something for you. the first time he came by the booth they thought he was gonna insult them, maybe say things like ‘aren’t you too old to be making bracelets?’ or call their handmade pieces ugly. they tried to avoid him until he picks one of them up without saying anything, taking a closer look before handing them one that caught his eyes the most. one of the girls gathered all her courage to ask him who was he thinking of buying the stuff for and he proudly said “its for my girlfriend, she loves handmade jewelries” as they nod at his answer he started going on and on talking about you, stuffs you’re interested in so they can help pick out what would suit you best. “—yeah she’s in class right now, wouldn’t want her to know im here. want to suprise her with these. she’ll go wild” a grin plastered across his face imagining your reaction. sometimes its tmi for the girls but they dont care, they think its the sweetest.

farleigh doesn’t necessarily think buying you the most expensive things is the best way to show his love, its just as long as he’s poured much thought into his gifts. he fixates on thinking whether or not you’ll love the gifts he thinks of buying you and if you probably won’t, he’ll find something else.

“they’re only pretty when you wear them. you make them look pretty” he whispers into your ear before taking your hand into his. he lean in to kiss you before pulling away just to kiss you again. and again. he rubs circles on the back of your hand with his thumb before looking back up at you. you’re getting all giddy from the attention he’s giving, your cheeks heating up. “yo guys— if you want to do romance maybe get a room” you hear one of his friends yell from across the pub. he flips him off before saying, “why were you looking at us anyways, loser ?” farleigh’s quick to rebut as the others’ reactions fill the room. he gives the guy a disgusted look before looking back at you, who is smiling. “sorry baby, would you like your usual ?” you nod before he gets up to go get your signature drink that you always have everytime you’re here. you’re not really into the heavy stuffs so he doesn’t force you to do them. he only does that to oliver.

apart from saving your seat, picking out jewelries for you and always getting you your drink to make sure it’s safe in his hands, he always want you with him everywhere he goes. just like your roommate had told you. he doesn’t care if he has to walk all the way across a field or a hallway to get to your classes, he’ll make sure he’s waiting outside for you by the time you’re finished so he could have you beside him everywhere he goes. and you dont care following him around. sometimes its just meaningless walks around campus but you’re happy as long as he’s with you. you’re his bestest friend. his home. he’d be telling you jokes as he walks, getting in front of you to make big movements to accompany his storytelling like he’d never run out of energy. like you’re his source of energy. you would give him the best reactions to his stories and gossips and he‘d fall even more in love with you if that’s even possible

he was already quite famous on campus before dating you, but now almost literally everyone knows the both of you as THE couple. he would casually mention you everywhere he goes when you’re not with him, which is probably only the times when you have different classes. and you’re always with him too. the cafeteria, the pub, the field (he loves picnics with you), his homeroom, your homeroom, the random benches along the building, the hallways. its always the two of you. somehow you never got sick of each other probably cuz he’s nice to you. sure, there are times he’d accidentally lash out on you about something that got to him but he’s quick to make it up to you. he couldn’t imagine not having you everywhere with him. his buddies have all grown accustomed to you now, unlike the first few weeks when he started dating you. they got soo annoyed everytime farleigh brought you to hang out with them. he’s always out and about telling them like, “my girlfriends coming later” or “gotta wait for my girlfriend first” before actually hanging out with them. they were irritated cuz you weren’t as fun before, back when you were just being introduced to them. bros before hoes they’d told him. farleigh made sure to let them know you’re not just some ‘hoe’ and after that they’re basically pretty chill with you as soon as they realised you’re just like farleigh, but in female form. you get along with them and their convos just as well as farleigh. so they dont mind you tagging along anymore

its becoming his whole personality, dating you. its always you before all else. sentences like, ‘cant, gotta go get my girlfriend’ or ‘my girlfriend would love this’ or ‘the other day my girlfriend-‘ and ‘did you know ? my girlfriend-‘ are converging into his daily dictionary. you, are just the same. always mentioning him in everything because you do everything with him. like it or not the story’s gonna involve him cuz he was there. or it happened to him. or he was the one who told you. the two of you set the dating standards so high that the girls only want what the both of you have when it comes to relationships. cuz the both of you made it possible, you’d become the couple everyone put their trust in love in.

you let out a laugh joining the others at something farleigh had said before taking a sip of the drink he brought you earlier. he has his one hand around your waist, grabbing your hand and the other on the table, near your drink, holding a lit ciggie in between his index and middle finger. he offers you a smoke to which you lean in. he holds the cig for you, watching you pull a puff before taking a puff himself. he closes the distance between you, leaning in to blow the smoke into your mouth, shotgunning.

the swirls of smoke mixing yours before he kisses you, deep. one of his favourite things to do with you. his hand that was holding your hand reaches into the hem of your dress, teasingly playing with it. he grins as his eyes bore into yours, tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. you giggle at his fingers dragging along your thigh, tickling you. he nudges his nose against yours before getting up, gently pulling at your hand. you follow him as you giggle, already knowing where this is going. he pulls your hand, walking towards the door before saying, “ciao everyone, and you-“ he’s pointing at the dude yelling at you guys earlier,

“-thank you for your suggestion” he chuckles as the whole room roar in mixed reactions. safe to say your poor roommate slept alone that night.

taglist: @june-ebgert @radioloom @themoonchildwhofell @love-me-pls @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @khxna

[struwberrii]

Hi, I saw the matchup request are open so here i am requesting for one hehe <3

I want a romantic matchup! My pronouns is she/her and I prefer male characters. I’m not an underage so I want to be match with a timeskip character.

My types - I like someone that stable, reliable and very laidback. I want someone that understands my need for personal space and not pushy since i hate it when people tell me what to do. Despite being an extroverts, im not good in communicating my own feelings so i need someone that can communicate well and understand my struggles. I prefer someone introverts but not shy like they can communicate well with others but they’re just not a yapper (leave that job of yapping to me please). I also prefer them to be an act of service kind of person and not a clingy type (i dont mind pda but not too much).

Personalitiy - my mbti is enfj. im an extroverts but i like to have my own space and dont like it when people overstepped my boundaries. peoples says that im very welcoming and friendly despite my rbf which is why people are scared of me when they first met me. i can be very playful, chaotic and i like teasing people. but im very respectful when it comes to others feelings. most people describe me to be easygoing, funny, caring, and mature. I also can be very sarcastic at times but only with people that understand my humour. im good at reading people because im very observant of people behaviour and it always spot on too lmaoo. some says that i have such an inviting energy and that must be why people often come to consult their problem w me and asking for advice though sometimes we barely know each other. im very opinionated but secretive when it comes to my own feelings. I also tend to take care of everyone else first before me (sorry its a habit of being an eldest daughter). im also a chronic people pleaser lol.

Hobbies/Interests - I love reading. I read books, comics, manga, anything that can be read, I’ll read. I also love writing but mainly poetry. I like having a conversation of political and social issues (as long as people keep it civil like i don’t wanna argue lets have a calm conversation). despite being a plus girl, i do play sports like badminton, lawnbowl and sometimes futsal too.

Love language - My love language is act of service and words of affirmation. On a receiving end, I prefer act of service, words of affirmation and receiving gifts. when it comes to receiving gifts, I mean little things as gifts. lmaoo i would be the happiest person if someone even pick up a stone and gifted it to me saying that it remind them of me.

My dream date - I prefer dates like visiting art/history museums, food hunting in cafes/restaurants or anything that is simple and fun.

Sorry this is so long😭 I’ll stop here and I wanna thanks you in advance! Have a nice day <333

match up: tsukishima kei ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

hope you like the match up!! (also this is time skip i just couldnt find a pic of him in this art style post time skip)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

tsukishima is very sarcastic and cold, but kind to those who are close to him and those he respects (which is hopefully you as his s/o lol). he is also a man of few words. he says all he needs to to get his point across he is DEF not a yapper. i can def see him being a very active and respectful listener when it comes to you, giving good and genuine advice that may be harsh but its always the truth. this also goes hand in hand with communication. he isnt the most expressive person but i can see him being very blunt and out right telling you when something bothers him or if hes uncomfortable with something since he doesnt want it to happen again, i can see him urging you to do the same and break out of your secretive shell since letting emotions build up and not opening up could end up being very bad

I also see him as a very laid back as a partner and pretty trusting for the most part. he would never overstep his boundaries and let you do whatever you please. i also see him as the type of guy who needs alone time to collect his thoughts as well so he would totally understand if you need some time to yourself as well.

he is DEF a nerd too i mean did we see how bro was fitted up and acting in high school? he would absolutely be coming to you with manga or comic suggestions or asking fro suggestions from you.

I can see him being a very deep and philosophical person behind that salty exterior and probably would love to read your writing and try to break down and understand whatever deeper or hidden message is hiding behind the words you wrote. this can also extend to date ideas, picking out art pieces and trying to understand how one another interpret the piece would be such a fun day for the two of you, plus super cute instagram pictures, i know he does NOT play about his instagram feed.

I see him as the type of guy who only needs to be told something once before he gets the message and just overall being very attentive and understanding to those he cares about and also being very protective over you. he doesnt tolerate any disrespect twoards you and its adorable <3

[halfmoondaze]

Forward

Previous

Series Masterlist

Authors note: this is a collaboration with the amazing @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

“Guys its time” Urban yelled from the livingroom. 

Its been 5 months since the “Come Home The Kids Miss You” Tour was cancelled. I tried to force happiness into my life, but failed. 

My head was all over the place and so was my room. I could tell it drove Jack insane, as he is an organized person, but he never made me feel less about it and just helped me out without me asking, as an act of service. I learned along the way, that was his love language.

It wasn’t until we left New York, that it became evident to everyone else that I was having a massive decline to my mental health. 

It was getting difficult for me to eat, sleep, get out and maintain my physical health; and it seemed like everyone but me was aware of it. Which is why it made sense for Jack to stay over at my place all the time to check on me; and for me to stay over at his. 

As time went by, it got to a point where moving in together seemed like the natural thing to do, so when he asked the question in one of our many long nights together, I said ‘yes’ with no hesitation. That’s how we end up moving into the house of our dreams after spending so much time finding the perfect house. 

I did had my good and bad days; but when we started living together, there was so much I learned from Jack. Without him knowing, he was teaching me how to structure my days while dealing with a decline in my mental health. 

He was more than I could ever asked for. He was patient, caring and empathetic. Sometimes I thought to myself I didn’t deserved him. Sometimes, I felt his empathetic nature was a factor that helped bounce back.

Two days before Christmas, he flew all my family to Atlanta from _(y/h/t). In those two weeks I had them all to myself, everyone was able to see the old Y/N again. The one Jack though he had lost for good. 

As New Year rolled around, Jack got back to writing and recording music here and there, in his home studio. To make me feel include, he would invite me to his recording sessions and asked me for my opinion which he would take very seriously.

One night, in one of those studio sessions, he caught me writing some verses in a piece of paper. He didn’t say anything, he just walked over to me from behind without me knowing, and briefly massaged my shoulders, followed by placing a kiss on top of my head, before getting back to working. After he called it a night, we started walking back home and before we entered the house, he turned to me said “I’m so proud of you”.

As time went by, the visits to the studio became more frequent, as I started spending most of my time writing and recording songs with help of Jack. Even though he didn’t wanted to be included in the credits, he was a lot of help when it came to the writing process of the album. 

I had finally found my sense of self. I found healing in my music. There was no deadline or limits, as my label informed me the moment I told them I started making music again. 

I had no recollection of when I started or finished the album. All the sudden I had 12 songs. 

Jack had invited both of our families and closest friends to a gathering at our house, to see the nominees announcement. 

“Oh my gosh Y/N you have 8 nominations!” Camille cheered.

“What?” I couldn’t believe it as I remained frozen while everyone else hugged me and congratulated me. This was more than what I could ever asked for.

JACKHARLOW

liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt and 1,000,364 others

jackharlow my girl is a grammy nominated artist!!!! couldnt be more proud of you and everything you've accomplished. I love you @Y/N

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Jack walked out of the vehicle first, then he walked to your side and opened the door for you. Then he took your hand as he helped you out of the car. 

The moment you stepped into the red carpet, you were instantly hit by the blinding flashes of the cameras and the sound of photographers shouting at the two fo you simultaneously indicating you were to look at. You and Jack would steal a few glances and smile at each other here and there.

At one point you started to feel anxious, and Jack was quick to sense your change of demeanor and whispered to you: “You good?” 

“Yeah” you said smiling at him.

Then he smiled back at you and kissed your cheek. 

That caused the crowd to go nuts, and the camera clicks intensified. It was clear this was going to be news all over social media the following day. 

Afterwards, you and Jack did some interview for the following 30 minutes and he made sure to not let you out of his side. And people couldn’t get over how he was so attentive of you the entire time. 

Later in the night, you were having so much fun inside the venue, as you were sitting next to Lil Nas goofing around, and meeting other respected artists you admire. You were so in the moment, that you forgot you were nominated for various a categories, until the category you were nominated for was announced. 

“And the Grammy for Best New Artist, goes to…” Billie Eilish stopped as she opened the envelope.

“My queen, Y/N!!" Billie announced. 

The camera focused to you. 

You covered you mouth in shock as everyone around you clapped for you. You hugged your manager, producers, fellow songwriters, your best friend Camille; and last but not least Jack. It was an adorable moment where he held for a little bit longer than rest before you went to stage to accept your award. 

You hugged Billie and then received your award. 

“Thank you so much” you said softly. “Um…I’m going to cry” 

You tried to not break down in tears as you continued your speech. 

“I want to thank my manager Marc, Camille, my mom, my fans. I love you all so much and thank you for your support. Thank you for my producer, for executing it incredibly and making this album possible. And Jack, I love you so much, you’re amazing. Thanks to all of my friends and my family. Thank you so much” you said nearly breaking in tears at the end. 

The camera slightly cut to Jack who had the brightest smile as he saw you on that stage. He couldn't be any more proud.

That night you got home with four more awards, for "Best Music Video", "Best Pop Vocal Album", "Record of The Year" and "Album of The Year".

Y/N Y/L/N

liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt and 1,000,364 others

yourusername mil gracias @grammys esta noche me la llevo en el corazón por siempre

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lilnas legendary

bellahadid my best girl

dojacat you deserve it 🤍🤍🤍

grammys 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

After the award show was over, you and Jack got back into the limo. You both couldn’t contain your excitement as you buckled in.

“I knew you could do it baby!” Jack said pulling you into a hug.

You laughed into his chest running your hand over his back.

Jack pulled away from the hug and kissed you hard, but passionately taking your breath away.

When you pulled away you smiled softly at him.

“I couldn’t have done this with out you baby.”

“No!” Jack said abruptly as he took your hand in his. “You did this all by yourself. Don’t give me credit for anything ok?”

He placed a kiss on the back of your hand and winked at you.

“um can you take us back to the hotel?” Jack asked the driver to which the guy nodded.

“Wait, I thought we were going to the after party.” you said confused.

“Nah I got something better for us.”

When you arrived at the hotel, Jack guided you to the room.

When you opened the door you were meet with rose petals all over the ground.

A gasp left your lips as you walked in further. “Jack this is fucking beautiful.”

Tears started to form in your eyes as you looked around the room. When you turned to Jack to thank him, a gasp left your lips as you saw him holding a shimmering diamond in his hand.

“A year ago today, I fell in love with you. You’re the love of my life. I didn’t know it at the time, but now I know that heaven sent you to me. You’ve come so far, and if you allow me, there’s nothing I would love more than to be next to you through your journey.

Jack got on one knee. 

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N would you marry me?”

-

Taglist

@heavyhitterheaux

@yamahex

@harlowsbby

@harlowcomehome

@jackharloww

@harlowsbby

@carma-fanficaddict

@msliz

@baxteravenue

@kentuckyboyharlow

@yonduismarrypoppins

@rina-writes

@kalaharlow

@jacks-cafe

@ogfangirlc

@sathina

@avengersbtch

@alreadyjackbestfriend 

[hannahlovesluca]

heard that matchups were open! (would prefer one of a nijisanji male since i already got one for the girls :D)

My name is celestia! bisexual demigirl with they/she prns,, intj, Scorpio, Vietnamese American

i'm scared of the darkness, small spaces, bugs of any kind, the supernatural/unexplainable, church bells, and dogs. some of my favorite things are desserts, video games, napping, youtube, writing, simping, and cats.

I’m described very soft-spoken and sweet by those who don’t know me well, but sassy and sarcastic to those who do

My love languages are physical touch and acts of service

i pair you with…

Vox Akuma!

⚠️WILL PROBABLY GET SLIGHTLY NSFW⚠️

hear me out…

• if you couldnt tell by now i love tropes where both are opposites…

• we all know from his BDSM test results, that hes a brat tamer.

• you being sweet and kind at first lures him in, but god, once you start acting sarcastic and bratty… shit…

• he wants to tie you up and break you so bad IM SORRY IM GETTING CARRIED AWAY

• hes both a horndog and a huge softie

• one day you’ll get the soft version where hes cuddles against you, head on your stomach

• the next is just…. uh…

• he knows how soft spoken you are and he definitely teases you about it, but makes sure you have boundaries with how far he takes it

• imagine him ordering food for you at a restaurant, your hands clutching his tightly because youre so nervous…<3

• if you have a pet he will probably pout about you giving them more attention than you are to him

• “but… youre mine 🙁🙁..”

• HE IS SO SOFT

• imagine him running his hands through your hair in the morning, giving you soft kisses all over your face to gently wake you up and start the morning…

• speaking of morning, he loves making breakfast in bed for you.

• probably has an apron that says “kiss the chef” but chef is crossed out and in black marker it says “Demon”

• will fuck you literally anywhere.

• in public? check. in private? check. everywhere? check.

• will make sure to leave hickeys all over you so everyone knows youre his.

RUNNERS UP: Kyo Kaneko, Ren Zotto

[sweet-milky-tea705]

RANDOM OC QUESTIONS REG( @bananacockatiel ) ASKED LIKE 2 YEARS AGO LETS GO.

——————————————————————————-

What does your oc smell like?

Mollie smells like leather/smoke, but also a little floral bc she uses scented soap.

Yasenia smells herbal and earthy. Ts yasenia smells the same but smellier bc shes in touchstarved

Ocs fave food?

Mollie likes bourbon chicken or anything adjacent over rice.

Yasenia likes pretty much any stew or curry with steak in it

what stereotypical clique would your oc fall into in highschool

Mollie would be a big gossip lol. But also in athletics so idk?? Jock ? Is that what this question means ?

Yasenia would be a nerd. But also very liked by the people around her bc shes sweet. Definitely was more introverted back then though

relationship experience?

Mollie has a lot of relationship experience. In terms of serious ones though ? Not a whole lot. Shes also like 43 though so LOL

Yasenia has a little relationship experience. She was left hurt a lot, so she tends to steer away from getting too close emotionally, especially ts yasenia

what's the favorite flower of your mc??

Mollie: magnolia/hydrangeas

Yasenia: forget-me-nots/blueberry blossoms

your oc's fave body part of theirs

Mollie: she really likes her back, gotta flex in the mirror before she gets in the shower LOL

Yasenia: she lovesss her tail so much(dnd) and ts yasenia really likes her hair. The whole curse thing has made it hard to think about parts of herself she actually likes

what is the meaning of your oc name? Or what is the reference/motivation behind their name?

Mollie: uh. The drug. The inspo was in fact molly bc i wanted her to be a kinda trashy possum lesbian. Which she is and i love her. Her character has changed a lot since then though

Yasenia: i made it up. Sorta. I wanted a name with a Y and i made her very quickly so i used a site and then changed some letters or something

what's their love language and why

Mollie: acts of service and physical touch !!! She loves to make things and do little things for people and she also is just really physically affectionate

Yasenia: honestly same as mollie. Ts yasenia is less touch oriented though for obvious reasons

Oc's relationship with family?

Mollie: bad. Her mom is dead, dad left, and little brother is kinda busy and withdrawn

Yasenia: good. parents are alive, no siblings, she loves them a lot but they have their troubles sometimes. She feels like they wont ever fully accept her curse(dnd) and yasenia feels like theyre rejecting a core part of her. She doesnt want a cure. Overall good though. Ts yasenia never met her parents so…

Who are the most important people (or person singular) to your oc?

Mollie: for a long time it was (LL) tari and mollie’s brother since he was her only remaining family but over time when he got his bearings and left, she kinda kept to herself. Then after tari cheated, it got worse. Then elowen came into the picture and its elowen final answer.

Yasenia: Her parents, (dnd)mentor, and (dnd) tari are the most important to her. For touchstarved though ? Shes on her own completely. Never met her parents and due to her curse she couldnt get close to anyone except the alchemist mentor who betrayed her.

If you met your oc irl would you get along?

If i met any of my ocs in person i would shit myself. But assuming i wasnt aware i made them and we were strangers, yeah totally. Theyre both social and compassionate people, not hard to get along with.

Oc's hobbies?

Mollie has a lot of hobbies ! She does leatherworking, blacksmithing, baking, some light woodwork, fitness stuff and weapons training,,, and being gay in taverns.

Yasenia is a magic user in both universes and mostly does that stuff. Her dnd magic is more faith and herbal based. Healing magic and whatnot mostly. Her alchemy stuff in touchstarved is different. She knows how to make and recognize poison but also little protection spells and such. Her mentor sucked

what's a lie that they tell the most?

Mollie’s is probably that she doesnt care. She tells it to herself more than anyone. Also that she didnt mean to do something she absolutely did on purpose.

Yasenia’s is hard. Shes very honest and vocal about everything. Cant lie easily at all. But her main one Is probably saying that shes not worried

specifically for the OCs with siblings, what's their sibling dynamic?

Mollie is the bully older sister who also protects her brother at all costs. Theres a 5 year gap between them so its a given

Yasenia has no siblings but in dnd she would play with the kids at the cave village thing. Her snow leopard thing made it fun. She had a very playful dynamic with the kids there and many of them see her as an older sister

favorite drink ?

Mollie likes ciders !! Like spiced apple and stuff. Preferably spiked

Yasenia likes teas of all kinds, she hasnt tried cider ^ but she would love it. Tea is her fav though

how are they with kids?

Both are good, neither really want kids though.

Can your oc cook? if so, what's their favorite dish to make?

Mollie can !! She likes to make soup and desserts bc theyre the most fun. Her fav food is still bourbon chicken though.

Yasenia cant cook. Like at all. She can mix potions and alchemical compounds and stuff with ease but you will never see someone fuck up an easy dish as well as her.

what is their best childhood memory?

Mollie: she used to catch frogs and play in the woods a lot as a kid before moving to porrima. Always covered in an insane amount of mud and leaves. She liked to try and make things out of sticks like lizard houses and swords and castles. Those were very happy days

Yasenia: she would run through the mountain valleys in her snow leopard form a lot as a kid. She would come home covered in bits of plant and burrs, smelling like wildflowers, she remembers that the most. She liked to catch bugs a lot too. Her parents remember the horror of yasenia coming home with a live cicada in her mouth.

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[unquestionably-queer]

zukka has been living in my brain rent free so its headcanon time. today we’re talking about love languages lets get into it:

- both sokkas and zukos love languages include gift giving. due to sokka’s shopping addiction and zuko’s access to pretty much anything at any given moment, the amount of gifts they give each other is absolutely absurd. 

- they both really appreciate the thought but sometimes they both go a little too far and they usually have to reign each other in

- sokka will be like oh i ran to the market to grab a couple of things and i saw something that reminded me of you so i bought it and zukos like oh? and sokka whips on the original playscript to their favorite show that definitely cost a ridiculous amount of money. and zukos like !!!!!!!!!! thats too much i cannot accept it. btw i bought you an entirely new custom made wardrobe bc a couple months ago you said one of your socks was itchy.

- they have to create a budget for themselves whenever the holidays come around (they always go just a little over but they just Had to get it because they knew it was perfect)

-  sokkas favorite gift from zuko was a promise ring made out of whale bone and space rock with a sun setting on tiny waves carved into the inside. zuko said that he knew life wouldnt be easy for them given their political statuses but the sun always set on the sea and he promised would always fine his way back to him. it is one of sokkas most prized possessions

- zukos favorite gift is from the time when sokka had casually been taking paint classes and come back one day and was like i made it for you!!!its a family portrait :) the portrait itself was zuko sitting in his thrown with sokka standing tall next to him in a style that was an awkward attempt at realism. zuko honestly wouldnt have known what it was otherwise but oh how he cried. he keeps it framed in his study.

- on that note, theyre also big into acts of service

- like one day zuko is grumbling to himself after a particularly frustrating meeting with some of the generals about something or the other. sokka can tell he just doesnt want to be bothered so he silently gets some jasmine tea and braids his hair and allows zuko to sulk. zuko was too cranky to admit it but in that moment he quite literally fell in love with him all over again

- it becomes this routine that whenever zuko has a particularly rough sokka will bring him some tea and company

- another big thing is that zuko would not take care of himself. some nights much to zukos dismay, sokka will quite literally take the papers from his hands and send him to bed 

- “i dont want to hear it. theres a bath ready for you and food with your name on it in my room. ill meet you there when im finished with all this.” zukos protests fell on empty ears as he shoved zuko out the study and locked the door behind him. sokka spent maybe an hour going over the rest of zuko’s paperwork before returning to his room only to find zuko fast asleep with his hair still wet and smelling like spice. 

- on the flip side, sokka keeps his space pretty messy. he swears its organized chaos but its just a fire hazard waiting to happen. sokka was always a late riser, much later than zuko. one time sokka woke up to find zuko long gone and the mess had gone with him. on the night stand next to the bed was a note that read ‘cleaned your chaos’ with a little heart squiggled in the corner

- honestly most of what sokka had originally thought was good luck around the palace was just zuko working his magic and flexing some muscle and honestly? sokka couldnt complain

- they do the absolute most for each other at all times and honestly? its kind of adorable

((also if this is a fanfic yall would read i could definitely clean it up and throw some dialogue in there hehe))

[mycomfortblanket]

Hey comfy! Whatcha writing for Taang Fluff Week??

shit. i forgot about fluff week. what happened to my daily reminder stitch??? THis is literally what I have written in the tumblr fluff week folder for the prompts lmao.

First Date: [our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and i thought i'd hate it but youre actually kind of funny? but because i expected to hate it in no way am i going to let you change my mind just because you're gorgeous and funny and intelligent and oh no my friend is not winning this.]

Kiss: Person A: How did you two get together? Person B: Well, we hated each other and fought everyday. Since we had the same friends, avoiding the other wasn't a good option Person C: Those friends then had the amazing idea to get us to get along Person A: what was that? Person B and C: Handcuffs

Love Languages: Toph: touch although not PDA... small touches??? Aang: acts of service?????? maybe words of afrimitjhafhf... oh that would be good cause it would be tough on toph... eh that sounds difficult to write

Comfort: ...

Family: after so many miscarriages and false positives, toph and aang had given up on trying to start a family. he was hopeful about trying to pass on airbending but the hearty break became too much and they stopped trying all together. Toph had given him an out, telling him he needed to pass on airbeneding but he couldnt imagine being with anyone else and if it wasn't toph carrying his child he didnt want it.

Bonus Modern AU:

[starryfreckles]

✨ten questions✨

thank you for tagging me fae, grey, and sarah 💛this is three sets of questions so buckle in, this is going to be a long ass post lol but their questions are so good !! i couldnt not respond 🥰grab yourself something to drink, its a whole lot about me... 30 questions about me actually lol

from la twin @fvae​ ✨

#1 If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be ?

a mirabelle. its a mix between an apricot and a plum thats from france and maybe other parts of western europe idk 🤷‍♀️

#2 Free space!! Rant about whatever you’d like

thanks queen, what will i talk about today ?? ooh i know ok not so much a rant but im currently listening to harry potter and the goblet of fire audiobook becuase i wanted to read the stories again. this one is probs one of my favs and so much got left out in the film like DOBBY’S FUCKING ROLE IN IT ! also just the beginning when dudley is on his diet and harry has a fucking stash of food in his room and the weasley’s coming to get him. theres so much more to the story and i know they cant fit the 450 page book into a 2 hour movie but those details are so important for me. theyre part of the world building and we all know im a sucker for world building and character dev. like hell yea storytelling !! but just the wizarding world in general is my pride and joy and means the actual world to me 🥺 also after this one imma listen to order of pheonix becuase SOOOOO many details were left out in that movie and wowow best book but like highkey worst film... ((maybe thats the rant part of this lolol ok this was def a rant LMAOOO)) ok but its a really good one and i just wanted to be in that world again 🥺🥺

#3 If I were to visit your country right now, where would you take me ? What places should I visit ?

right, youd be coming to the southern west coast of the US. if covid wasnt a thing we’d go to a bunch of museums but ART, we are artists 🥰we’d also go to all the open air malls which are super cool and just fun to walk around and window shop. theres the beach for like beachy things lol, more touristy things. but theres also the mountains for hiking and being one with nature. there are a few observatories and telescopes within 2 hour roadtrips and those are cool becuase SPACE and just their location on top of super cool mountains for all the views you could ever want. 

#4 If you came with a label, what would it say ?

« not what you’d expect » or « beware of typos »

#5 If your life was a book, that title would you give this chapter of your life ?

oooh so i this chapter of my life closing soon ((RIP ME)) but i think id be called something like « what do i make ? » or « finding my voice »

#6 What is your stereotype in your friend group ?

oh lordy, im like a mom friend ((hi tasfia if youre reading this lol)), the super organised one that plans things lmaooo

#7 What’s your spirit animal ?

Im an owl or a fox lets be realll

#8 What’s the most unexplainable thing that’s ever happened to you? Does it still happen ?

lol not to get deep and sad but the amount of friends i have somehow managed to push away and lose... uhhh yea it does... im not good with relationships 😔sigh 

#9 What’s your favourite word and it’s meaning ?

extraordinary - adj very unusual or remarkable.

if you break the word down to its compoun words : « extra » and « ordinary » to me its almost as if it should mean something that is incredibly plain but its not, its quite the opposite of that. 

#10 What was something that made you smile this past week ?

i had a bunch of convos with my irl friend and coworker ((about wtfock LOLOLOL and just getting her to start watching skam lol)) that were super hilarious and just really nice 🥰

from @stoffans​ 🌸

#1 What would be the most fitting for you: the sun, the moon or the stars?

I think the moon. it has phases of lightness and darkness...

#2 Where have you felt incredibly out of place?

literally any party or group of people greater than three. im an incredible shy person around people i do not know very well and just sit there awkwardly...

#3 What are the moments in life that make you realise life isn’t all that bad?

when im out with my closest friends or when im making my creative work

#4 Which song makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud?

visions of gideon by sufjan stevens its so soft and relaxing

#5 Sunset or sunrise?

seeing as im not usually awake fro sunrise lol, imma have to say sunset. i used to live near the beach when i still physically went to uni ((rip covid)) and man those colours and seeing the sun dip into the oceans wowow

#6 Do you like it when people do stuff for you without telling you?

i love that kind of stuff, im an acts of service kind of person and just the little things to show that they thought of me just gets me tbh

#7 Did you ever cheat on your tests in school?

uuhh nei, im a good student 😭

#8 Could you take care of a plant or would it die instantly?

i always had plants in my uni room, they did great 💛

#9 Do you think you’re a difficult person?

emotionally yes, i cant describe what im feeling and im terrible with words in difficult conversations... other than that, im the most indecisive person youll ever meet and pretty easy going.

#10 Give me one word to describe yourself

anticipatory or thoughtful. i guess these two kind go together but i like play out different outcomes in different scenarios and anticipate so much... 

from @grey-mist-exist​ 🍂 ((you tagged me on my main but i wanted to put them all together, i hope you dont mine 💛))

#1 Does your current means of transportation (car/bike/etc.) have a name? What is it?

uhhh so i havent been in a car in about a month soooo imma say my rolly desk chair that i use to zip around me room lol. its from IKEA and its called sporren

#2 If you could learn a language over-night, what language would you choose and why?

ahhh id learn norwegian ngl, dutch is close second. OORRR i stick to my roots and learn vietnamese 🤨 hmmm idkkk there are many languages i would love to learn 😭

#3 If you were an article of clothing, what would you want to be?

id be a jumper, to keep people warm and cozy

#4 You get teleported into a childhood fairy tale / folk story- what tale is it?

peter pan 🥰🥰🥰 my main’s user is enough i think lol

#5 You get the choice between time-travel or travelling to a parallel universe (but only being able to travel one time). Which do you choose?

parallel universe. i want to see how another me is getting on in life. what happens if my parents never moved us out of france 🥺

#6 Sun, moon, stars, or other? Why?

the stars are so interesting and mysterious

#7 If you were a path, what type of path would you be (concrete, cobblestone, dirt road, highway, asphalt, etc.)?

red brick. for the aesthetic lol

#8 How do you know when you’re in love?

i get butterflies in my stomach and my heart drops when they walk in

#9 What is your cellphone wallpaper?

bb fae look ((you already knew this was it but 💛💛)) 

✨🌸💛✨🌸💛this lovely piece of art of my bb is by @jensrolt​ go check out all her other art, its always the cutest thing ever ✨🌸💛✨🌸💛

#10 If you could instantly become an expert in something, what would it be?

expert of molecular cuisine pls. i love cooking and food. that kind of science fascinates me

[the-queer-look]

The bonds that tie

No one is ever late to finding out their sexuality. No one is ever late with coming out. Everything takes time, and for some people that takes longer than others. Cultural and social circumstances can have a huge effect on how and when we begin to understand and accept ourselves, and in some parts of the world, that can have a deeply negative impact on our sense of self worth. Nevertheless, being true to ones self leads to deeper, more positive connections with those around you.

- K

Name: Jacob

age: 32

occupation: Refugee Assistance

Location: Liverpool

Gender: Male

sexuality: Gay

My name is Jacob, Im 32 years old, Australian, from an Iraqi background, with Assyrian nationality, and I am a gay man. I like to think of myself as a very easy going guy, although a lot of people seem to misunderstand my personality and think of me as a snob, or make a point of saying how I am very quite. I think that is because I am generally a shy person, largely because of being self conscious about my accent, I’m worried about saying something wrong, or not speaking fast enough. I always need to translate what I want to say into english in my head before actually saying it. I’ve always had a love of helping people, which is why I work for a government program designed to assist refugees secure housing and establish their first initial accomodation in Australia, which I’ve been working in for the past five years. My initial degree was in IT, which I gained back in Iraq, but once I finished my degree I realised that I wasnt very passionate about coding and working with computers, I just did the degree to satisfy my parents, so I worked with a newspaper and became a journalist until I left Iraq in 2010. I lived in Istanbul for a couple of years before moving to Australia as a part of my journey as an asylum seeker. I’ve been in Australia for about 6 years.

Upon moving to Australia it was very challenging to find work as a journalist, with English being my fifth language, and the competition for journalism jobs in Australia being so high, so I began assisting people who’d gone through my own journey, first as an interpreter, and then moving into community services and case management, and I’ve now done a diploma in social housing as well, and currently completing studies in social work with the University of Western Sydney, hopefully next year.

I think I realised that I was attracted to men when I was about 14 or 15 years of age, but because back then in Iraq there wasnt any access to the internet, nor anyone that you could really come out to and talk with about it, I felt extremely abnormal. I thought that it was just me, and that I was different to everyone else, it was at a time when all of my peers had girlfriends, and thinking about getting married and stuff. I met my first girlfriend when I was 17, and fell in love for the first time when I was 21 back in ui with one of my classmates, but of course that didnt last. I always felt like I was going down the wrong path, because even though I was dating women like I “should”, I still felt attracted to guys. Eventually I got the chance to speak to people through the internet, and found out what being gay was, and realised that I wasn’t an aberration. It gave me the tools to discover who I truly am. I dated my first guy when I was 24, which was when I was able to accept it, and I’ve identified as gay since then.

I did feel very strongly that I didnt belong in the society over there, with LGBTQIA+ people not being talked about at all, and such a religious culture which openly hated gay people… Growing up in a muslim society was very challenging, as the only Catholic guy in primary and middle school, with a western name as well, it didnt make it any easier to come to terms with my sexual orientation. I was bullied quite a lot for the way I dressed and acted, for not having a girlfriend etc. And that challenge moved to my home, the struggle about how to let my family accept me, the isolation that you feel as you build up to coming out to your family… Being gay, and the youngest in the family, in a very religious, Catholic family was not the easiest.

Eventually, even after moving out with friends after graduation, I was still very close with my family and dreaded the idea of coming out to them, and the possible disconnect from those family ties. Because I couldnt think of anything worse than not being able to see my nephews and nieces, of spending time with my parents. But eventually I had to be selfish for once, and I came out to them in August 2018. It was really hard for them in the beginning, they were really shocked, but we had a serious chat a few days later. I just realised, they always knew but they kind of denied within themselves, because of them… I looked different to any other gay guy that they knew of… I didnt fit those stereotypes that they thought of. I just did my best to educate them and make them believe it. At the beginning they were saying “You’re only saying that because you dont want to get married” and all this kind of stuff. I had to give them examples of people that I’d introduced them to and tell them that they were actually past boyfriends for them to accept the fact that I’m actually a gay guy.

They were expecting, even though we live in Australia now, that coming out to everyone would get me fired, or beaten up at work. They had no idea about the anti-discrimination laws in Australia, they even asked me about whether there was any sort of gay community in Sydney. Obviously it was a bit much for them, they offered me church conversion therapies, they offered me medications, they asked me to go on a blind date with a girl that might change my mind, but obviously none of those were options. I’ve asked them to accept who I am, and if not then they can continue their lives without me in it. But it didnt actually take any longer than two weeks before they started inviting me to family gatherings again, and our relationship now is even closer than what it was before. I’m so much more comfortable being myself around them, I dont feel like I have to hide myself, and pretend to be straight anymore that I used to do before. My whole family is so much closer now and I’m very grateful.

For my fmily I’ve always been the rebel. I was the first to move out of home, even though I’m the youngest. All of my brothers were getting engaged and married and still living with my parents. I moved out when I finished my studies, and everyone was against it. There’s this stigma in middle eastern culture that a young man should not move out of his family home before he gets married, because that will ruin his reputation and morals, and will have temptation to do bad things. There’ve always been comments about the way I dress, because my fashion choices were not very accepted, I followed the western singers on TV and stuff. And when I had my first piercing, an eyebrow piercing when I was 24, my family didnt talk to me for about two weeks because they thought it was too gay… surprise! It got even worse when I got my first tattoo, my friends would say to me “you look like a homeless person” “you look like you have no morals” etc, etc. When I got my ears pierced, they started saying that “you look like a faggot” which was really harsh. But I’ve always wanted to do what represents me, not to follow a group f people or act like someone else. I want to present myself in a way that represents myself, and I have always felt free to change my looks or the way I dress.

Things have definitely changed about the way I dress and act since I came out. I feel like I’m out of my shell, especially at work, I no longer feel the need to try to blend in anymore. Luckily the diversity at my work is very broad, so looking different isn’t a big deal. So far out of nearly 50 staff, I’m the only that is openly gay, which means of course I was picked by the inclusion co-ordinator to become the LGBTQIA+ champion fo the office, so staff could approach me to ask for resources and assistance when they have clients in the LGBTQIA+ community. And now I have the pride flag on my desk and people get shocked when they see it, and I can almost see the question marks appearing over their head as they stand there. But yes, I am definitely more comfortable being myself at work, that comfort in being who I am has helped my relationship with my managers because it’s like being a bird, and you finally learn how to fly, that’s how it feels for me to be out.

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[strawberryspeachy]

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".�� do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?

[easnuppa]

When it is written in the stars. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Hobbit characters, they belong to their owners. The only ones i own is the one i created in this story. There might be strong scenes and language. Faenthor had been in and out of a coma for four days, now was the first day he felt strong enough to really focus on his suroundings, he looked to his right, he saw Elanoreth sleeping in a chair in the corner, he smiled, she looked so beautiful and peacefull, he turned his head to the left and he felt someone holding his hand, he was expecting to see his sister sitting by his bedside, but it was a elleth he didnt recognice, the elleth sitting by his bedside, holding his hand had forrest green eyes and long curly auburn colourd hair... she was pretty, but had a possessive glimps in her eyes.... she smiled gently to him and squeezed his hand "good evening my lord, i am so happy you are awake and focused" he pointed to a mug of water, it felt like he had been eating sand for a week. she pushed a glass of cold water to his lips and he gulped down the entire glass. he nodded greatfully. "who are you?" he asked, he was puzzeled by the fact that a elleth he had never seen before was showing him this much care and affection. "my lord, i am your personal healer, the king ordered me to take care of all your needs, so if you ever need anything i am at your service" she sat down at his bedside again, her hip pushing against his, he pulled himself further up on the bed hearing the unsetteling undertone in her voice. He glanzed over to Elanoreth, making sure she was still sleeping. The door flew up and the king walked in, the elleth jumped off the bed and disaperad out of the door by the wave from the kings hand. Thranduil pulled a chair over and sat down by his bed "Glad to see you alive and well, my friend". Faenthor looked at the king and nodded " Glad to see you are doing well too, your highness" he answered, though Faenthor didnt think the king looked well at all, he looked really worn and beaten, an unsetteling feeling crept into his heart, who had they lost that could cause this affect on the king, he was almost afraid to ask " are everyone alright? " Thranduil met his brown orbs "your parants and uncle is alright, Galadriel is well, your cousin Elladan was hurt but is up on his feet again now." Thranduil looked at the floor, Faenthor waited, he hadnt mentioned Faenith and Elrohir. Had something happened to his sister?, he swallowed hard. "my sister? is she alive or ?" he couldnt finish, the king reafused to look at him. Thranduil wasnt sure how he was going to tell Faenthor about his sister. He had been interigating the orcs and they all said the same. They had help getting into the palace, the two elfs giving them information was Faenith and Elrohir. If he hadnt been there, hearing it himself, he wouldnt have belived it. His heart was crushed. The king cleared his throat " Faenith is alive". Faenthor exhaled loudly, relieved that his sister was alive, but the look on the kings face was not promesing " she is alive, but?" The kings face was serious, sadnes was written in his light blue eyes. Faenthor embraced himself " your sister is accused of conspiring against the crown, when she is found she will be brought to trail for her betrayal. " Faenthor sat up in his bed, he couldnt belive what he heard. "you cant be serious? my sister, conspiring against you. the elf she loves? the one she is about to wed?" The king looked back at the floor, Faenthor could see that this conversation was just as hard for the king as it was for him. "she was plotting with your other cousin, Elrohir. They escaped under the attack, i have a company of my best trackers out looking for them." Faenthor knew that it wouldnt take long until they where found and brought back, no one knew these woods better then the woodland elfs. "what will happen to her? " The king sighed, "i know my consil will demand execution, i cant bare the thought of her dying, so i am going to make you a memeber of my consil and one of my advisors. I am hoping for banishment or life in prison" Faenthor looked at Elanoreth and then back at the king, he did not envy the kings position right now, eitherway they where damned to fade. "i wish you would have asked me under other sircomstanses, but to atleast try to save my sisters life i will accept your offer. But you know she could never do this. She loves you higher then life itself, and you love her as well. You both have told me. " The king got out of his chair, clearly done with the conversation, Faenthor needed to get better, and fast. He had to find out what was really going on. It was early morning, the sun was not up yet, Faenith felt like they had been walking around in the forrest for weeks, it felt like they where going around in circles, it was a foggy morning, and the forrest looked grim, with the fog so thick she couldnt see her own feet. The suroundings matched her emotions. She had asked Elrohir over and over to go back, she needed closure, she needed to burrie her loved ones, she needed to say good bye to then, she knew she would meet her true love on the other side, he was there waiting for her, she wanted to escape to him, join him, she was longing to be in his arms again. Everytime she closed her eyes she was back in his chamber, the night before everything happened, she was in his arms, feeling his warmth. It felt like ages ago. "Elrohir, i need to go back, i cant go on knowing their bodys is rotting out in the open, they need to be burried" Elrohir gave her a sour look, he had grew tired of her nagging "You know we cant go back, it is overrun by the orcs, they will slay us as soon as they see us. We need to get to Rivendell. When we are home we will send a company to burry them" That wasnt good enough for Faenith, she needed to do it herslf. When had Elrohir gotten so cold and distant to his family. There where something with him that didnt add up, that didnt make sence to her. She had a hard time beliving that everyone was dead, they didnt feel dead in her heart. She needed to get back somehow. Maybe she could wait until he had gone to sleep and sneak off without him noticing. Elrohir looked at her from his sidevision, she was quiet and looked like she was in deep thought, he knew he had to give her some time to grieve, but the patience was wearing thin on him. He had waited long enough for her, he was planing on waiting to declare his love for her until they got back home, but the nagging about going back, and her constant sobbing was getting on his nerves, he needed to open her eyes and see that there where more to her life then what they left behind, she needed to see him. He stoped and pushed her against the nearest tree. " You need to stop tormenting yourself like this, you need to get over him. If you think about it he was never truly yours." Faenith met his brown orbs, he had changed, she could see it in his eyes, the elf she always had considered to be her friend, almost as close as a brother, had now turned into someone she didnt recognise. "Elrohir please, dont say that. I understand you dont want to go back, but let me, i love him." He grabed her chin firmly between his thumb and pointer, he stared into her silvery eyes, the light was gone, he needed to awaken it, he leaned in and kissed her, she tried turning her head but he tighten the grip and pressed his lips against hers, he felt her hands pushing against his chest but he pressed himself harder against her, she was whimpering, why was she denying him what he wanted, he loved her, he had always loved her, he deserved this after waiting and being so patient with her. He tangled his hand into her hair and pulled her head back and claimed her now open mouth, he moaned into her mouth, this felt so good, finally she was about to become his. Suddenly a sharp pain flashed through him like lightning, he let go of her, grabed his groin and fell to his knees, he closed his eyes and tried to breath through gritted teeth, that little whore he thought , he was gonna show her that behaviour like that wasnt tolerated, she was gonna give him what he wanted. Faenith had acted out of reflexes, she had kneed him hard, she watched him for a second where he was kneeling in pain, but she turned around, she couldnt wait until he fell asleep to get away, she had to run now. And fast, before he got his streangth back. She almost ran blindly through the forrest, she cursed the fog for being so thick, she heard him shouting, cursing. She felt branches whiping her in the face, ripping her clothes, it was almost like they had claws and was trying to catch her, she forced her self to run faster, she couldnt slow down, he was probably back on his feet and chasing her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Pure terror ran threw her veins. All she could think about was to get back, back to him. Thranduil sat in his study staring into the fireplace, the only thing left in the room was his desk, a big table full of maps, and a chair infront of the fire, the rest was destroid from his inner rage. He had a mug of wine dangeling from his long fingers, not caring to use a glass, he just gulped down the strong wine straight from the mug. Almost a week had passed, most of the guests had gone home after the attack, he did not care, he had not bothered to see them on their way, to hell with courtesy. His people was already been marked as savages a long time ago. All he wanted to do was dull the aching in his heart with wine, and numb his mind. He leaned his head back on the chair a knock interupted his thoughts "Go away" he shouted, but the door swung open and the last person in the world he wanted to see marched in. "Are you just gonna sit here and drown yourself in your precious wine, while my daughter is out there alone and lost, an easy target for the orcs and goblings, and eru knows what lingering in your forrest?" Barathon shouted, Thranduil shut his eyes and tried to ignore the angry lord standing infront of him shouting his head off. "Dont you dare ignore me you faithless savage!" Thranduil just had another gulp of wine " What would you have me do, i already sent out my best trackers to find your daughter and your nephew" Barathon just looked at the king in disbelif, how could this elf claim to love his daughter and sit here and be so calm and careless. He was just like his father. " You could be out looking for her!" Thranduil waved him off "Leave me alone, you will get the word when my trackers brings her back" The kings arrogant behaviour made Barathon lose it, he grabed the kings robe and lifted the tall elf up from the chair. "You are not now or have ever been worthy of my daughter!" Thranduil stumbled up on his feet, Barathon let go of his grip on the kings robe and Thranduil stumbled back, gripping his desk to regain his balance "You, Thranduil Orperion, are a disgrace to the throne. You are nothing more then a drunken ellon who is stumbeling his way through life, with no purpose, i dont get what my daughter saw in you." Thranduil squinted his eyes to focus on the lord. "You call me faithless, what about your daughter?. Who so coldly seduced me while plotting with her cousin to have me killed?" Barathon scofed, "My daughter have done no such thing!, you are just like your father, pointing your fingers at others when your ignorance gets visable, hiding behind the power of the crown. If you truly knew my daughter you would never belive the filthy lies of an orc!" Thranduil clenshed his jaw shut, he was breathing heavy, the words angered him. "Maybe she did not plot with Elrohir to have me killed, but she ran off with him, she left me for him!" Barathon gave out a bark of a laughter "maybe she realized you wherent good enough for her. You two have been fooling around for two months and far as i know no results, nothing to show for it, while my son on the other hand, took him only one month to secure lady Elanoreth position." He walked over to the now furious king and pushed his pointer into Thranduils chest " Are you really sure your son is really yours? " He knew the king was fuming inside, but he wanted the king to release some of the anger and not bottle it up. Faenthor had been complaining about how the king locked himself up and ripped him self into pieces with his own thoughts. He wanted to provoke some kind of emotion out of the king. Thranduil threw himself at the lord, his fist met its target with great force, alittle surprised he had acted out in anger like that he looked down at his hands and back at the lord "do not drag my son into this, or the dead queen!" Barathon rubbed his jaw, alittle set back that the king had punched him, he was surly not expecting the cold collected king to lose it like that. " I see you are not so collected like you try to make everyone think you are. Maybe my daughter have had an effect on you" Thranduil knew Barathon was right, Faenith have had a hugh impact on him. He did not care to go on if he couldnt have her, he just needed to make sure his counsil ruled for banishment instead of execution before he let him self fade into nothing. "Leave my study, there is no point in this bickering. We will never be on good therms." Barathon could actually agree with the king on that. Barathon marched out of the room and passed a guard who bowed before he hurried into the kings study, shutting the door close behind him "my lord, the company is back, they have her. " Thranduil snaped his head up and looked at the guard, this was the words he had been waiting for a whole week, now his questions would be answered. Exhaustion threatened Faenith to give up, she had crossed a shallow creek and the cold water was now soaking her clothes, making them heavy, the coldness making her legs stiff, her skin was sore and she had felt a prickeling feeling and touched her cheek, her fingertips had been covered with blood. She had heard that Elrohir was behind her a couple of times, it was almost like he was playing cat and mouse with her, she pushed herself further, her lungs was burning and she was gasping to get enough air down to conntinue. She stumbled on a dead branch and fell flat on her stomach, she picked herself up, her feet was about to give under her, when someone grabed her from behind , she kicked and screamed and clawed her fingernails at the hands holding her around her waist. "Calm down my lady, we are here to bring you back! " Her head clouded by fear, she continue fighting the elf holding her, until another came in front of her and grabed her hands and made her look at him " The king demands for you to be brought back to the palace! Dont make this harder for yourself!" Faenith shook her head and her orbes scanned her surroundings, five guards, dressed up in the Mirkwood Palace colours looked at her with watchfull eyes." wait what? the king?, the king is dead." She was confused, the guard infront of her tied her hands together, this made her even more confused, why would they bind her hands, she was not a threat, not now when she knew who they where. " Why are you tying me up?" The guard just looked at her with a ghost of a grin on his lips "not risking you escaping" he said matter of factly. Escaping? she wherent going to escape, she was running back to the palace, she tried to tell the guard that, but for some reason they didnt seem to belive her. They placed her infront of a guard on a horse and they where riding in silence back, she leaned back on the guard behind her and closed her eyes. The whole thing was probably a missunderstanding that would be cleared up as soon as she came back, maybe Legolas had survived and was now the new king. They had reached the palace, it was quiet and alittlebit eary, she felt a great sadness lingering in the walls. She expected to be shown into the throne room or atleast the kings study, but she was thrown into the damp dungeon, she clenched her hands around the thick bars, not understanding what was going on. "Why am i being treated like a prisoner, i need to speak with the king, there have been a missunderstanding! I demand to speak with the king!" The guards looked at her with an arrogance she had never seen on them before. The captain of the guards came up to her. " You are being treated as the trator you are, you will be held here until your trail comes up!" shock and fear was written all over her face, she sunk to the floor, tears where streaming down her face. How had this happened, what crime had she comitted? Faenthor was sitting in his parants chamber, trying to comfort his mother, but he knew nothing would work until Faenith was returned to them, a guard came in and announced that his sister was now being placed in the dungen, he got up and his mother let out a loud gasp, followed by her crying out Faeniths name. He walked over to the guard "I demand to talk with her!" the guard nodded, it had been announced that he was now one of the kings advicors, this gave him alot more authoraty and respect among the staff of the palace. He followed the guard, as he entered the dungeon he walked over to his sisters cell, she was sitting on the floor clenching her hands around the barrs so tight that her knuckles was white. "Leave us" he demanded before he hunched down infront of her, her clothes was dirty and thorn, her hair was full of tangles, grit and leafs, she lifted her face and looked at him, and her skin was scraped and her cheeks was grimed by tears and dirt. He had never seen his sister like this. " They say i am to stand trail for treason" her voice was merly a whisper, Faenthor just nodded, his face serious but worried. "what happened to you?" Faenith sighed and closed her eyes. "I had just gotten Elanoreth and was talking to my mother, telling her to come with me and lady Elanoreth, that Thranduil had ordered his best guards to keep us safe, thats when i saw Elrohir, he said he couldnt find Elladan and that he needed my help to find him, i was conflicted as to what i was going to do, but when i was to follow my mother and the guards they where gone, i could not find them. It was chaos. I desided to help Elrohir, and maybe find Thranduil after and help him take out the orcs, Elrohir draged me out into the garden.." she paused " after that everything whent black, and i cant remember anything els until later, it was dark and i woke up in the woods. With Elrohir. I begged him to go back, to try to find others, but he said everyone was dead! I was heart broken. " she stoped and looked at her brother. New tears welled up in her eyes. " Is he dead? Oh please eru, tell me he is not?" Faenthor shook his head, taken back alittle by her story, but he belived her, he knew his sister would never comit any form of treason. He knew who she was speaking of, he gave her a quick smile. " He is very much alive, allthough not well, he thinks you whent freely with Elrohir, that you and Elrohir are one. He thinks you only seduced him to get information about how the palace was being secured. " Faenith gasped, she pushed her fingertips to her sore lips, Faenthor placed his hand over her other hand and squeezed it to give her streangth " how could he belive i am capable to cross him like that?. I love him more then life itself. " Faenthor nodded, he knew his sisters feelings for the king was real. "The orcs told him. We captured some and they where held alive long enough to tell the king that you and Elrohir had been plotting and trading the information you knew for safe passage through the woods. The king whent mad and killed them all " Faenith whimpered, so that was what Elrohir had been doing. The pieces of the puzzle started to come together. She looked up and met her brothers brown orbs " He was the one plotting against the crown of Mirkwood. He wanted to rule over Rivendell and aperantly me by his side, he tried something in the woods, i managed to escape. I ran the entire day and that is when Thranduils guards found me and brought me back" Faenthor cracked a smile. He knew his sister was a fighter, and that she was as innocent as he belived her to be. He needed to speak to the king, convince him that it was all a missunderstanding. The word that Faenith was now imprissoned reach Thranduils ears, he pulled his robe on and walked down the stairs to the dungeon, he stoped in the stares and looked as Faenthor was sitting infront of the cell barrs whispering with his sister, it was too dark for him to see Faenith face, but he saw her tangled hair and her clenched fist around the barrs. He took a deep breath to get the streangth to see her in this state, his whole body was aching to free her and hold her in his arms. He tightend his grip around the key, he had in his right hand. He walked down the last sets of stairs, Faenthor had clearly heard him, he whispered something to his sister before they both got up and he walked up to him. "She is innocent. It was all Elrohirs doing, ask her, she will tell you, she just told me everything." Thranduil nodded. "We will talk when im done here. " Faenthor left the dungeon, they where alone and he was suddenly unsure on how he was going to aproach her. He walked up to her cell, her silvery orbs met his light blue, his heart droped into his stomach when he saw how she looked. She just stood there watching him, he unlocked the barrs and walked in, before he knew it she had thrown herself into his arms, her arms was locked behind his neck and she nussled her face in the crock of his neck, she pressed her whole body into his, unsure how to react to her embrace he just stood there, his heart was telling him to pull her closer and never let her go, his mind was repeating the orcs words over and over. She pulled back and looked up at him, her eyes sparkeling from the tears in them, he swallowd hard. "Thank eru you are alive!" she whispered between sniffles. Lost for words he just stood there and continuing to stare at her. "He told me you where dead, that you where all dead. I begged him to go back, i needed to see for my self, i couldnt belive him" Thranduil took one step towards her "Did you plot with him to have me killed so that you could get out of our union and be with him? " His voice was cold and hard. She took one step closer to him, now they where only inches apart "No i would never! You are my everything. I did not even know about his plans." She placed her hand over his heart, like he had done the night before the orc attack "I have always and only been yours. " He could not hold back anylonger, he wraped his arms around her and claimed her lips, he knew this was probably going to be the last time he could ever taste her lips again, he took a deep breath and took in her sent before he let go of her and took a step back. " The counsil are putting you on trail for treason. " she nodded, her face fearstruck " what will happen to me?" Thranduil, brushed his thumb over her cheek to whipe away a tear " the best outcome would be banishment, the worst execution, unless we can prove your innocense." She pressed her shaking fingertips to her swollen lips "to prove my innocent you need to find Elrohir and interrigate him." Thranduil nodded in agreement, her next words took him by surprise " do you belive that i am innocent? " He pulled her back into his arms in a tight embrace, he kissed the top of her head. " i do". That was all she needed to hear. She closed her eyes and enjoyed feeling his arms around her. He stayed with her for while, she told him what had happend to her, and it made more sence to him then what the orcs had said, he cursed his jealous side that made him belive she could betray him. She had fallen asleep in his arms, he had placed her down on her cot and left the cell, he needed to talk to Faenthor and come up with a plan to prove her innocense once and for all. Faenthor tapped his fingers on the wodden surface on the table infront of him, the rest of the consil had just left the room, some in anger, some in confusion. Thranduil sat down next to him as he shoved a glass of wine infront of him "They are really out for blood" Faenthor said as he lifted the glass and took a sip, he had gotten accustomed to the strong wine after befriended the king. Thranduil grunted "Their life was in danger, they want to eleminate the threat, they dont know her. " Faenthor nodded, he knew the words Thranduil spoke was true. "you know it might help if you told everyone that you have bonded with her and that you where to wed her. That will make them see her in a different light. They would see that she was not driven by greed." Thranduil just looked at him, he had thought about it, he was almost tempted to blurt it out to the counsil, but she needed Galadriels help to make the consil members understand that he had all rights to remarry. "I will ask Galadriel to come talk with them to morrow morning." Faenthor sighed in relife "so you truly belive in my sisters innocense?", Thranduil nodded. She told me everything after you left, the look in her eyes made me belive her, though i have a strong urge to tear every lim from Elrohirs body for what he put her through." Faenthor gulped down the rest of his wine and agreed with the king. They where interupted by Elanoreth peeking her head in the door "may i enter, your highness, i have a request?" Thranduil nodded and they both stood up as Elanoreth walked in and sat down across the table. She smiled a loving smile to Faenthor before she met the kings blue orbs. "I have just visited Faenith, and i was wondering if it was possible to maybe request a bath and new cloths for her, her clothes is thorn, and her skin scraped, it will be very degrading for her to stand trail to morrow in such a condition?" Elanoreth had already promised Faenith a bath even if the king refused her request. Both Faenthor and Thranduil just stared at her, they both looked alittle embarraced that they had not thought of such a thing themselfs, since they where the first who talked with her, and they both have seen the sorry state she was in. Thranduil cleared his throat and grabed his keys in the pocket of his robe, he shoved it across the table towards Elanoreth. "Offcourse, but use my private bath, there no one will see her, it will be less speculation and talk that way. You can tell her to rest in my private chambers for the night, i will take her to the dungeon before sunrise myself." Elanoreth gave Thranduil a knowing smile and bowed as she left the room. Faenthor nudged Thranduil to get him out of his thoughts, he could see where this where going. "Do you really think it is wise, your majesty, that you spend the night with her, right before her trail, what if we cant find Elrohir and prove her innocense and she is to be executed or if they do find him, and they still vote for banishment and she ends up carrying your child? It is hard being forced to mend for yourself and even harder when you have a child to take care of. " Thranduil refilled their glasses, and looked at Faenthor with a ghost of smile on his lips "It will secure her place if she was in a delicate situation, they can not vote for execution knowing she is carrying royalty, and they can not banish her becouse of the same reason, atleast not until the elfling is born, that will give us enough time to prove her innocense and for me to wed her. " Faenthor cracked a smile, he really liked the kings thinking. He clinked his glass against the kings glass and they both emptyed their glasses.

[unpopular-bishop]

i've realized why i'm still upset with duen and all it took was an awful night's sleep!!

the bohn and mind situation reminds me so much of the khai and chingching situation!! in both cases, our "playboy" characters get kissed against their will and then get blamed and dumped for it. and in the end, they are the ones to apologize and continue to take that blame. this scene in my engineer rubbed me so wrong bc i am still chafing about it from theory of love!!

putting my thoughts under a read more bc it turned into 2k of bullshit. tw: consent and assault

i'm not a khai apologist okay, i get it. as much as i adore him now, the first handful of tol episodes were hard af for me to get over bc i just!!! wanted!!! to beat him up!!!! and let third go find a good boyfriend (and friend) who would appreciate him. but khai won me over with how obviously he was trying his best to change. i know some people maybe think that it was too sudden but imo it wasnt because a whole lot had just happened to make him want to be a better person:

he'd just had his world turned upside down from finding that video confession; he felt like he was losing third, who has been his stable best friend literally since their first few days at college, and he didnt understand why bc honestly in his own selfish stupid way he did that awful shit to try to save their friendship; he nearly died after a fight with third where third told him to leave him alone and his last thoughts were of third and how badly he'd fucked up. like he got into a major accident and walked back to third just to see him again. when he woke up, third was there but there was still such distance between them. and he hated it. all of those things happened to make him realize exactly how much he loved and valued third, and how badly he had treated third thruout their relationship.

so khai tries. he tries to be a better person, a better person for third. you know what old khai would have done upon meeting chingching? you best believe he would have been all over that. but instead he was polite and kind but distant to her. all he did was give her a ride to the faculty and not out right reject her when she auditioned. that was it. that was it! (honestly khai began to treat girls politely but distantly upon falling for and pursuing third. even jam on the beach, he was never rude or mean. polite and distant is his new way of dealing with people who may upset his relationship with third. he also treated milk this way when she showed up and harassed him at his apartment which i also have feelings about).

khai says he put himself in the situation to be kissed. but here is the situation: he went out with his friends. that's it? that is the situation. he went out with the sound crew (kind of reluctantly even), and was again polite and distant with chingching. he was happy and feeling good because he was making progress with the person he finally feels secure and loved with, he's changing the way he lives and treats people. he's happy.

and then he gets assaulted by a girl he has done nothing to encourage. then he tries to leave and finds third kissing another guy. and then third blames him for being assaulted (bc being kissed against your will is assault, and i'll get back to that with bohn), and then when he finally catches up to third, third throws a glass bottle at him, yells at him and, in the end, tells him he thinks khai is unable to love.

and of course third is allowed to feel this way about all of these things, but he is so ready to believe the worst of khai. he is absolutely ready and willing (to the point of getting upset with two for trying to convince him otherwise) that khai is the same khai that has hurt him time and time again. he has been hurt too much and he just cant stick his already sliced neck out again like that. which is valid and understandable! khai has hurt him! (and khai assaulted him too, which i could also get into. but khai kissing third against his will doesnt mean that chingching kissing him is in any way acceptable as some sort of karma imo).

what got me though was just how miserable and vulnerable khai was when he talks about this with third finally. of course third wouldnt believe him. of course he put himself in that situation. of course its hit fault that a girl kissed him bc he has a reputation. nevermind that all he did was go out with friends (and alongside his current love interest) and drink? is khai supposed to be on guard at all times now, just in case someone who knows he is a playboy decides they wanna forcibly lock lips with him against his will?

all of this is to say that i just wish third had told khai it wasnt his fault that he was kissed against his will. is it his fault that there is a severe lack of trust between them? absolutely. but khai is not responsible for chingching's bad actions. he was assaulted and blamed for it and felt like he couldnt say that because no one would believe him due to his reputation which just....reeks of real life parallels that i dont think the writers meant to stumble upon but sure did.

now onto bohn and mind.

khai and bohn being playboys is portrayed so very differently, which i think is why i'm a little more upset with duen than i am with third in this situation.

where the first like five episodes of tol took time to set khai up as a serious playboy, its only mentioned with bohn. bohn meets duen within the first handful of minutes if my eningeer and the rest is history. the closest we get to onscreen playboy behavior is *gasp* bohn going to a birthday party for a girl he doesnt particularly like but is willing to go along with to the point of buying her a present, holding her cake, and dragging his friends to an awkward and bad party. she is never seen nor mentioned again after leaving (lmao dont worry tho she is set up as a slut so u dont have to feel bad for her! haha love that thanks bl writers).

the rest of the episodes sets it up to show that bohn shows affection through acts of service and physical affection. he is awful at communication and will do bad things to get attention (bc he was a lonely rich kid who only got attention by doing these things i'm sure) from duen bc to bohn it seems like duen wont give him the time of day most of the time. duen rejects his primary love language (physical affection) but occasionally accepts his secondary (acts of service) (bohn giving him space to study, hunting down that specific book for him, doing those dumbass tasks that duen's friends came up with).

cut to the planting trip. so far, the series has set it up as bohn being as open as he is able to be about his feelings when both his ways of expressing himself are commonly rejected and/or misunderstood by duen. he's tried to have a couple real conversations but has been dismissed or ignored (which i'm sure duen didn't mean to do on purpose but also i am on bohn's side bc nobody else is and i seriously need his friends to step up!!!). he feels insecure in the relationship and like duen does not even like him, let alone care enough to be jealous.

we have also set up the fact that if someone comes onto bohn, duen will be upset with him. when mind is first introduced, its him cornering bohn in a bathroom and aggressively pressuring him into going out with him. bohn rejects him (not nearly as politely and distantly as khai has interacted with girls post-getting with third) but is still blamed by duen when "caught". this is used as a set up for why duen doesnt trust bohn, duen using the rumors of bohn's playboy lifestyle to explain to himself why bohn is bad news (nevermind that the only proof he has is his friends telling him rumors and the one bday party where bohn is bored and obviously more interested in fucking around with duen than anything or anyone else).

and then bohn is sexually assaulted in the woods. which he is only alone in becaus he was cooling down from a fight with duen. he feels insecure and disrespected and unheard, and then he gets stalked by a man who he knows doesnt respect boundaries and spooked (and i'm sure is disappointed it's not duen that came to find him). mind disrespects duen, which is what makes bohn really mad imo, and then forces a kiss on him. bohn has to struggle to push him off, and then only manages to get mind to leave him alone by threatening to hit him. (notice that he did not actually hit him, which would have been a valid and understandable response? bc bohn isnt really as tough as he appears i think).

bohn's first thought is not "i have just been assaulted, i would like support in this processing time." its "if i tell my boyfriend i was kissed, even tho it was against my will, he will be angry at me. i dont want him to be angry at me."

again, he does not even think duen likes him. duen doesnt show it at all in ways bohn can understand (i think duen's love language is gift giving but if bohn told him to give him the gifts i dont think bohn really understands that). he is already insecure in his relationship and he doesnt want to tell duen someone else came up and forced a kiss on him bc he is scared duen will blame him for it and be angry.

unfortunately?? he is right. while i really appreciated king's advice on not lying, i really wish it had been more along the lines of "you should tell duen what happened so he can support you alongside us, your friends. and if he does not support you, thats fucked up of him and we will support you even more."

i cant blame bohn for not telling duen. a) he is scared he will be blamed. b) if someone cornered me in the woods and kissed me against my will i'd be fucked up about it too! i also might want to keep it a secret! c) he may be feeling embarrassed and ashamed. he is a grown man who was just kissed by someone else and he couldnt stop it from happening. we already known bohn feels insecure in his manhood (he is insecure in a lot :( ) and i'm sure this wasnt like. the most stellar feeling in the world! he needed some time to process!!

the point is, bohn goes to tell duen what happened. and he doesnt even get to? he gets told that duen saw it (and i guess we can pretend that it didnt look like a full on fight if that's what duen wants to think bc of his own insecurities) and then gets dumped. so from bohn's pov he was like. assaulted in the woods, violently shoved his attacker away, and then finds out his boyfriend saw it and........didnt come to help?? pretended he didnt see it and talked to bohn normally when he found him??? literally tested him and then got upset about his lying??? didnt check in with bohn at all to see if he was okay?

and then in the end when they make up, its again bohn going through a task (this time hunting duen down at night in the woods) to apologize to duen instead of the other way around? bohn was not lying to duen bc he did something wrong and wanted to hide it. he was lying to duen bc he a) needed time to process what happened b) was scared of exactly what happened happening and c) didnt even think duen would care about him enough to be jealous.

this got so long and i'm so sorry to anyone who decided to read this whole thing oh man. i guess my final thoughts are that the reason i'm still dissatisfied with where bohnduen ended up this season is because i feel like bohn and khai were blamed for something that was in no way actually their faults. neither of them invited people they werent interested in to kiss him. neither of them deserved to be blamed for it. yes, it was just a kiss and some may feel like i'm overreacted but to me it isnt just a kiss. its that both of them were essentially sexually assaulted and neither felt like they would be believed if they said that they werent at fault (khai actually believed he was and i'd bet bohn thinks he should have been more careful too).

it just makes me sad bc i know it was never be addressed, it was used as a way to break trust for both couples but? it only highlighted that third and duen werent willing to trust, not that bohn and khai were actually untrustworthy in this regard!

[roseauerbach]

2019 Magic 8-Ball Oscar Picks

It’s Oscar time, which means it’s Oscar pool time. If you want to tie with half the people in your pool, check out the guild awards and read experts’ predictions. If you want to take a chance in the most literal sense, turn to my Magic 8-Ball.

As always, I’ve presented the oracle with all nominees and noted the most positive response in each category. The results:

Picture: Green Book Actor: Viggo Mortensen, Green Book Actress: Melissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me? Supporting Actor: Adam Driver, BlacKkKlansman Supporting Actress: Emma Stone, The Favourite Director: Adam Mckay, Vice Adapted Screenplay: Can You Ever Forgive Me? Original Screenplay: Vice Animated Feature: Ralph Breaks the Internet Animated Short: Weekends Cinematography: Roma Documentary Feature: RBG Documentary Short: Lifeboat Live Action Short: Marguerite Foreign Language Film: Cold War Film Editing: BlacKkKlansman Sound Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody Sound Mixing: A Star Is Born Production Design: Black Panther Original Score: Black Panther Original Song: “The Place Where Lost Things Go” from Mary Poppins Returns Makeup and Hair: Border Costume Design: Black Panther Visual Effects: Christopher Robin

For those of you who prefer a slightly more evidence-based approach, I looked at some numbers.

The Academy has invited about 1700 new members to join over the last 2 years. If all of them accepted, that would bring the votership up to 9226 people and make the Academy polity 31% female and 16% people of color. It’s a little harder to pin down the ages. In 2016, the median age was 62. The new class is statistically younger than that, and they make up 18% of the latest recruits. I’ll leave the actual number-crunching to someone who has the time to look up all the new recruits’ birthdates. Let’s just knock a few years off and say the median age is - I don’t know, 58.

So, when in doubt for a given category, pick the nominee that 58-year-old white men in the industry are likely to a) identify with and b) think all the other industry white men are voting for, because everybody wants to back a winner. Roma director-writer-cinematographer-etcer Alfonso Cuarón is 57, which puts him right in line to satisfy condition a) in several categories.

On the other hand: Based on polls and conversations, I can tell you that older voters really love them some Green Book. They love them some Green Book even more than my Magic 8-Ball does, putting it in line to satisfy condition b). Green Book may be this year’s Crash, which would be a bit disheartening when Green Book wasn’t even the best piece of “pre-Civil Rights Act Deep South through the eyes of someone who’s not from around here” media of 2018. (That was the Doctor Who episode “Rosa,” which you should watch.)

I couldn’t find location data on the new additions, but we know from past classes that Academy voters are likely to live in the greater West Los Angeles area. I, too, live in the greater West Los Angeles area, so I’m swimming in the same media blitzes that the voters are likely to be swimming in. Two super-local things I noticed:

1) Disney went all out with the public radio underwriting for “The Place Where Lost Things Go” from Mary Poppins Returns.

2) There’s been talk that Roma might suffer from the stigma of coming from a streaming service. ‘Round these parts, there’s been no shortage of opportunities for voters to catch it on the big screen. It played for weeks at the Nuart, just off the 405 on Santa Monica Boulevard; and had a presence on Wilshire just east of the 405. Voters even had multiple opportunities to see it in 70 MM projection at the American Cinematheque theaters in Hollywood and Santa Monica. The upshot is that if a voter works near the 405 or spends time in Hollywood, it’s entirely possible they see Roma as a regular ol’ big-screen film that just happens to be distributed by Netflix.

As always, I assume no responsibility for any trust you put in either the Magic 8-Ball or my ground-level observations - but if they help you win, remember me when you’re giving out cuts of the prize.

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What we learned from the Golden Globes: Meryl Streep always wins and Ryan Gosling never fails

The curtain has fallen on this years ceremony and heres our key takeaways, including the best anti-Trump speech, the wittiest mention of syphilis and what it all means for next months Oscars

Theres no stopping La La Land, the post-truth underdog

Right from the start, which saw Jimmy Fallons opening skit entirely devoted to a spoof of La La Land, it was obvious Damien Chazelles hymn to Hollywood had converted the 90-odd members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association men and women who had left their homelands to travel to La La Land and pen their own hymns to Hollywood.

But just how faithful the converts proved couldnt quite be predicted: the film took seven gongs over the evening (best song, best score, best director, best screenplay, best actor, best actress, best comedy or musical), beating the likes of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest to make new record.

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone with their awards. Photograph: Kevork Djansezian/NBC/(Credit too long, see caption)

So how did they do it? Especially when some of the awards (such as screenplay) were felt by some to be a bit optimistic? Well, that opening sequence was also significant, because it showed that La La Land is a lot easier to parody than, say, Moonlight (black gay man in Miami struggles with sexuality and addict mother) and Manchester by the Sea (gloomy janitor returns home after the death of his brother to grapple with previous family tragedy) and may end up with a lot more cultural currency, even significance, as a result.

That the Globes split their categories (drama and comedy or musical) naturally favours movies such as Chazelles, but, as Benjamin Lee pointed out in his liveblog, every La La acceptance speech also pushed the notion of the movie as an underdog a crazy mad idea and a wild punt for the studio to back.

But remember: this is a romance starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, directed by a man whose most recent movie won three Oscars, and which like Argo and The Artist strokes that hand that feeds it. But, whatever works.

Unless its the actual underdog

La La Lands main rival, Barry Jenkinss Moonlight, went into the race with nearly the same number of nominations, and came away with just one win. But what a win: best drama. The fact it was robbed in the supporting actor category (where Mahershala Ali lost out to Aaron Taylor-Johnson) may even help its chances going forward for what we now have is a genuine underdog (albeit one thats so far picked up 120 awards) with a little outraged momentum behind it (thought #JusticeForMoonlight felt a bit of a trending punt). The last movie to take just best drama at the Globes? Best picture Oscar winner 12 Years a Slave

Congratulations can still come with a bouquet of barbed wire

Despite significant wins for actors of colour actors this year, there were slightly fewer than expected (see Ali), and efforts to forget the #OscarsSoWhite controversy were undermined by not one, but two, people (George Bushs daughter, Michael Keaton) conflating the names of the two big nominated movies featuring black actors. Fences are still visible; perhaps Figures still arent, quite.

Meryl 2020

Meryl Streep attacks Donald Trump in Golden Globes speech

Can a blonde white woman in her late 60s defeat Donald Trump? If anyone can, Meryl can. Her speech picking up the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award was easily the runaway moment of the night: impassioned, funny, fearless and picking up perhaps the prize dreadful moment in the president-elects campaign: his mocking of a disabled reporter on the campaign trail.

It kind of broke my heart, and I saw it, and I still cant get it out of my head because it wasnt in a movie. It was real life. And this instinct to humiliate when its modelled by someone in the public platform by someone powerful, it filters down into everybodys life because it kind of gives permission for other people to do the same thing.

Disrespect invites disrespect. Violence incites violence. When the powerful use definition to bully others, we all lose.

Trump duly responded, not on Twitter, but by telling the New York Times he hadnt watched the show but was not surprised that the liberal movie people ridiculed him. Sad!

Hugh Laurie for VP

A shock choice for supporting actor in a drama series over favourite John Lithgow for that other great statesman, Churchill but Laurie made up for it with a pitch-perfect address, which preceded Streeps and lamented that this was likely the last Globes ceremony. Accepting the prize on behalf of psychopathic billionaires everywhere, Laurie said:

I dont mean to be gloomy, its just that it has the words Hollywood, Foreign and Press in the title. I just dont know I also think to some Republicans, even the word association is slightly sketchy.

Viola Davis for secretary of state

A controversial one this, not because she aced the supporting actress performance for which she won her prize, nor for her great speech, nor even her composed anti-Trump rant backstage:

Viola Davis makes powerful anti-Trump speech backstage at Golden Globes

But for allowing us all to get a glimpse of the real Streep, sharing a strange food-shaming incident in her introduction to the great woman.

Streep: Whatd you do last night, Viola?

Davis: Oh, I cooked an apple pie.

Streep: Did you use Pippin apples?

Davis: Pippin apples, What the hell is Pippin apples? I used Granny Smith apples.

Streep: Did you make your own crust?

Davis: No, I used store-bought crust. Thats what I did.

Streep: Then you didnt make an apple pie, Viola.

Davis: Well, thats because I spent all my time making collard greens! I make the best collard greens. I use smoked turkey, chicken stock and my special BBQ sauce.

Streep: Well, they dont taste right unless you use ham hocks. If you dont use ham hocks, it doesnt taste the same.

Accidents can happen, thank God

In what looked like one of the most locked-down ceremonies in years, a couple of bona fide surprises leapt out. The first with the HFPAs love for Paul Verhoevens hot-potato rape revenge comedy Elle a movie previously deemed too controversial for major acclaim. But it took not just best foreign language film (over the more politically safe Toni Erdmann) but also best actress for Isabelle Huppert: now a major Oscar contender, leaving both previous frontrunners (Natalie Portman and Emma Stone), fretting into their frocks.

The second shocker also showcased the Globess more offbeat taste: two big wins (best comedy series, best actor for Donald Glover) for Atlanta, about the citys rap scene. The Globes can be notoriously wacky this time round, in a good way.

We need to pin our hopes on the other Jimmy

Fallon had a lot to live up to. In part because Amy Poehler and Tina Fey set such a high benchmark for this gig a couple of years back; also because Fallon patsied to Trump on his chatshow a couple of months back. But despite a few early digs at the president-elect, he failed to deliver. Most glaring was his inability to competently wing it when the teleprompter broke. All such issues were highlighted by the brilliance of some of the presenters, in particular Kristen Wiig, who having stolen the showin 2013 with her Will Ferrell double act, repeated the trick this time with Steve Carell. Can fellow talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel top it at the Oscars next month? Probably.

Heartthrobs are called heartthrobs for a reason

Ryan Goslings best actor speech saw peak metrosexual pin-up this year: losing nominees Ryan Reynolds and Andrew Garfield shared a snog, while Gosling further confirmed his dreaminess at the podium. He ended his speech by paying tribute to his lady Eva Mendes for looking after their daughter and her brother (who had cancer, and to whose memory he dedicated the prize) while she was pregnant with their second child and he was off twinkling his toes on La La Land. So, sweetheart, thank you.

Tom Hiddleston, meanwhile, went full humanitarian, closing with a story about a recent trip to South Sudan with the UN Childrens Fund and dedicating his prize to aid workers everywhere. The weird cuts to Christian Slater and the kids from Stranger Things didnt help, but it was still stirring stuff.

The Brits are coming! But so is Netflix

Hiddleston won for The Night Manager, the Beebs big hit of the night gongs also for Laurie and Olivia Colman but the series-which-should-have-been-made-by-the-BBC-but-wasnt took best TV series (drama) and best actress (for Claire Foy). After the anti-climatic hoohah around Netflixs first big film production, Beasts of No Nation, the streaming service finally made good. Lucky, given The Crown still has five very expensive series still to fund and run.

Real actors are never off

Lithgow backstage with Claire Foy and Peter Morgan. Photograph: Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

Greatest ad-lib of the night? Probably John Lithgow, who channelled Churchill with aplomb in the press room. Being told his fly was undone, Lithgow quoted back the great cigar-chomper: Its not a problem. A dead bird never leaves its nest. The runners-up prize goes to Hugh Grant, wrongly leaked as the winner of best actor (comedy or musical), who describes the plot of Florence Foster Jenkins as, accurately enough, about a woman slowly dying of syphilis.

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