#my own impatience frustrates me so much honestly

[soulofamy]

.

[herbofgraceandpeace]

🙃

[yumeboshi]

𝜗𝜚。．． ❛ #HER NEW BOYFRIEND’S NEXT!

𐙚 synopsis。．short hcs/scenarios of jealous yandere aventurine & sunday ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

．。𝜗𝜚 cw。suggestive themes . general yandere themes, brainwashing, gaslighting in Sunday’s part, mentions of violence, mentions of scide, imprisonment, except for aventurine relationships are not established, WARNING: extremely obsessed and smitten with you, read at risk!

．。𝜗𝜚 a/n。honestly why do i think sunday will be literally the most dangerous yandere you could ask for。man has all the resources to brainwash you and lock you up pls

#SྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིUNDAY．。

。… a classic yandere obsessed over control. 。literally, he will be such a control freak. he has eyes all over penacony. he would have already kept track of what kind of soulglad you drink, when you get home, what your sleep habit is, all under the span of a week, and that’s before meeting you. obviously, as your future spouse, he is just obtaining information he needs for the future! 。will treat you surprisingly equally to his other guests when you meet, he doesn’t want gossip to get around, and he wants to make this “process” as natural as possible. 。after you are successfully within his area of control, he will start to monitor you even more meticulously- who you meet, what you do in your dreams.. he is a bit disappointed you don’t visit him on your own accord, but that will all be arranged soon! 。will casually go up to your room to ask you about “room service satisfaction” when he’s actually just busy breathing in your lovely scent and assessing your room for any “threat.” 。he doesn’t like that you’re affecting his ability to work. he’s impatient, of course, but he knows that he will have to wait for the perfect opportunity to whisk you away like a knight in shining armor. And all he needs is a little pawn to play the act of a villain- oh, your little male acquaintance will do! 。he’s like that- using people around you as puppets to his grand stage. Sunday is well-informed about morals, of course. But he won’t feel much guilt, not when he knows this is all for the ‘greater good.’ “They” will approve of it. 。and so, he starts to crack his charming facade- he will start asking you for private meetings, and he will put you in a vip room so you are isolated. He does this under the mask of ‘danger,’ saying that you have faced too many threats and he needs to ensure his guest’s safety. 。If you call your friends for help? The next day, they are mysteriously gone from penacony. You call them but your phone is out of service. 。but if you are still not charmed over his chivalry.. he’ll have to settle for easier methods.

❝ WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?”

Your demand was choked with such pleasant sobs that SUNDAY couldn’t help but slip out a small victorious smirk that quickly masks itself to a concerned facade when you fix your angry watery eyes at him.

“I know it was you,” you continue, pacing around his office while he remains nonchalantly seated, trailing his eyes to your every step. “You made all my friends vanish from penacony, you had my parents escorted away to aeons know where, you stowed me here like I’m some kind of precious little jewelry for your eyes only. What do you want from me?” The evident snarl in your words merely makes Sunday tip his head a little, staring at you with the same serene look that frustrated you.

“Oh, sweetheart, you got it all wrong.” He shakes his head in disappointment and rose up from his seat, taking silent strides to you at an alarming speed that made you stumble backwards to the door. “‘They’ have done nothing for you during your stay in the Reverie. You are always disappointed with them, but you choose not to speak up. It is such a painful sight, you are just like a bird who lost its voice.” His voice is surprisingly gentle, dangerously neutral, which scares you, and makes you doubt yourself.

Maybe you were just being stupid, Sunday was acting like it wasn’t a big deal. And your friends indeed did not do much for you here, unlike Sunday, who provided you with all this luxury without accepting anything in return. You feel safe here, almost. You blink a little- the heat that had pounded through your ears was gone, and now you feel like a harmless puppy that just barked his best at a wolf.

“It‘s natural to be mad, dear.” His hand delicately entangles itself into your locks, and you stare at him, unable to say anything as he soothingly whispers. “It is hard to understand actions for the greater good. relax, sweetheart. Everything will be better now,” he purrs, staring right into your eyes. They are endless depths of azure. They are very, very mesmerizing, you think.

“Everything will be better now,” you realize, and you sigh into his arms that seemed to suddenly be present around you. But the worry disperses, you are fine with being close with him. His embrace is welcoming and soft. You don’t want to leave it ever again.

#AྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིVENTURINE．。

。this man takes the cake for being the most jealous man in honkai 。he’s a charmer. he wins you over easily, because who could resist his charisma and his wealth, honestly. He flirts his way easily with you— unlike Sunday, he likes an impromptu plan, and rather enjoys surprises- any attempt of you trying to break up with him will not irritate him at all, contrary to the former. 。“Your attempts fascinate me. Too bad you lost all your bargaining chips. You gonna play another round with me, love? I’m more than willing to, you know.” 。he will be pleased, intrigued at how he can break you down again. he likes a little chase and gamble, he doesn’t want his prey served on his plate, he likes the thrill of hunt. 。he’d even be impressed if you escape him. But not for long, because he will bring you back to where you belong. 。this man will barely be angry over you. He won’t force any affection onto you, he satisfies himself by buying you expensive clothes instead, as if you are his little doll. He is content with you being a quiet and submissive trophy. 。what this man does not tolerate, however, is you being with anyone else. He cannot bear the thought that someone is around you more than he is, and that you rely on someone more than you rely on him. Aventurine has pride over his abilities, anyone taking you is like taking his most precious trump card. 。despite the jealousy he feels, he will still regard this as a particularly entertaining game. But he knows he will win this gamble, too.

❝ AH, IT’S SUCH A THRILLING GAME, ISN’T IT, SWEETHEART?”

You watch AVENTURINE toss the coin into the air and roll it around his fingers, his mesmerizing eyes examine the bitter look of defeat on your features.

“This isn’t funny,” you sobbed, despair dawning on you upon realizing that you truly lost everything to him. You had no more moves left in this game he put you in. He was merciful enough to spare your blood relatives, but your friends were gone- including the nice and sweet, innocent guy you shared friendly banter with for barely an hour.

“A gamble is fair and share, love.” He puts his hand on your waist, giving you a short kiss that tasted of wine. You felt nothing but defeat as he tossed the coin on the table where it flopped. “You just picked the wrong set of cards to play with.”

He is close to you all of a sudden, his hot breath tickling your skin, smelling of victory and wealth. His eyes stare right into you as he chuckles, the sadistic glint in his eyes glitter a little more when you feel a tear escape your eye. He leans to your ear, lightly biting your earlobe as he adds,

“Nobody wins with a deck with only clovers, my love. A shame that your cards were so… discardable.”

He laughs at that, watching your stunned face. He loves the look of surprise on you. It is endearing, it shows so well that you do not know how to play his game at all.

[heesdreamer]

HOMES NOT HOME

PAIRING ➩ jay x reader

SUMMARY ➩ recently smitten with the most popular guy on campus, park sunghoon, you’re struck with the rumor that he only likes girls with experience. your only option is to ask your best friend for help.

WARNINGS ➩ smut and uhh i can’t remember honestly lol nothing crazy

WC ➩ 15.7k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ loosely based and named after this song so listen if you’d like. my mental health has been bad so this isn’t proofread AT ALL and it was written in tiny fragments over the week instead of my normal one sitting so sorry if it’s not consistent or choppy

“I need you to have sex with me.”

You were stating it casually as you crossed through the threshold of your best friends apartment, using your copy of the key to let yourself in and throwing your bag loosely on the couch before attacking him with the direct statement.

He was sitting at his desk and you watched him impatiently as he slowly turned his chair in your direction, pushing his glasses off his nose and onto his head as he stared at you with a bored expression.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He was asking you in his usual steady tone and you let out a groan before approaching him dramatically and dropping to your knees in front of his spinning chair.

TWO HOURS EARLIER

“Wait.. are you serious?” Your head was picking up at the sound of your friends confused voice, falling into a disbelieving laugh that caused you to send her a sharp glare and move your hair out of your face.

“What’s so funny about that?” You were spitting at her in frustration, having just confessed to her your undying crush on a boy at your school. You’d dramatically slammed your head down onto the table afterwards and only lifted it back up when you heard her insulting tone.

“You are so not Sunghoon’s type.” Yuna was shaking her head and casually scrolling through her phone as she broke the news to you, not even bothering to let you down gently or pay you a second of attention.

She wasn’t necessarily trying to be rude, she was simply just used to your antics and impulsive behavior. When you’d approached the table in anguish citing that you were in an unrequited love with a member of the biggest frat on campus, she’d automatically knew you were in one of your erratic moods.

“What’s his type then?” You were piqued with interest and scooting forward in anticipation for her answer, your butt leaving the seat as your elbows slide across the table and you were leaned on top of it.

“I don’t know… girls like him I guess.” She shrugged softly and finally glanced over her glass screen to look at you as she delivered the final blow. “Girls with experience.”

Jay was staring down at you from where he was sat at his chair, his face unchanging as you clutched onto his knee and dramatically retold the story that had led you to making such a ridiculous request when you walked through the door. He was more used to your behavior than anybody else and had the knowledge and experience to not take you seriously.

“And what does this have to do with me exactly?” He was sighing and your mouth parted in disbelief, genuinely not understanding how he wasn’t getting where you were coming from.

“Are you kidding me? Dude we’ve been friends since like… forever. Who else would I do it with?” You were sitting back on the carpet now that you could tell he wasn’t going to budge, leaning back on your palms and still sitting at his feet.

The phrase to describe the duration of your friendship, wasn’t one of your exaggerations. You’d actually been friends for as long as you can remember and the two of you had never been separated since meeting, becoming quickly known as a solid unit and never being seen without the other.

It slowed down as you got older and gained your own personalities and hobbies, surprisingly opposites considering you’d spend all of your developmental years together but it never put much of a hinderance on your friendship. Jay kept you steady and grounded when you were close to bouncing off the walls and you made sure he didn’t rot away in his apartment having no social life.

“Plus, you’ve been with girls haven’t you?” You were asking him slowly and he just stared at you in response, sighing softly when your mouth curled into a knowing smile and you sat back up on your knees.

“Why do you want to be with a douchebag like Park Sunghoon anyways?” He was looking away from you as he said it, looking only slightly flushed at your sitting position before he was diverting his attention back to the laptop on the desk in front of him.

“He’s not that bad. He’s way better than the last few guys.” You were trying to justify your taste but you could see him rolling his eyes, knowing that your standards were extremely low and it didn’t take a lot to be better than your exes.

You were sighing softly and standing up off the floor, making your way across the room and flopping down on his bed with a flair of dramatics. You landed on your stomach but you looked back over your shoulder to see if he was watching you and your antics, smiling softly when you saw that he was, out of the corner of his eye.

“Fine, since you don’t want to do it I’ll just have to find somebody else.” You made sure to keep your voice extra disappointed and dramatic and you heard him let out a small scoff at your exaggeration. “I’ll just ask that Jeongguk guy from the arts department, you know the one who keeps making passes at me every party.”

You glanced back over at him and couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from your lips when you saw the annoyed expression on his face. He was wheeling the chair closer to the bed and sighing again, taking his glasses off of his forehead so he could run his hands through his hair.

“Wouldn’t it be too weird?” He was asking and you were sitting back up in anticipation now that he was asking questions, possibly interested in accepting your proposal. “I mean.. are you even attracted to me?”

Your mouth was falling open slightly as you stared at him in disbelief, leaning forward slightly to see if he was being serious before you were frowning at him. “Are you being serious right now?”

He didn’t say anything and he didn’t need to, knowing that you knew he was always serious, almost painfully so sometimes. He was watching you as you scooted forward so you were closer to the edge of the bed and by default closer to where he had pulled the chair up to, looking into his eyes earnestly as you dropped the worlds most awkward truth bomb on him.

“Jay. You’re like… sexy.” You were telling him in a flat voice and he could tell you were being serious but he couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of him at your sincere tone and the frown that only deepened when he chuckled at you.

“Okay fine, so when would we do this?” He was asking and you gasped with excitement, sitting up fully and throwing yourself onto his lap so you could wrap your arms around him in thanks, squealing slightly when the chair spun around at the sudden collision and nearly tipped the both of you over onto the floor.

You’d left his apartment with the promise to return the next night for your first lessons, thanking him with a big grin and failing to notice the apprehension he had in his eyes when he gave you a half smile back before closing his door.

——

Never in your entire life had you felt nervous to see your bestfriend. Not even after you’d gotten your period for the first time in gym class and everybody had laughed and pointed, not when your parents had first started to talk about divorce and you had to go and stay with him and his mom for a few days and not even when you’d gotten totally dumped right before prom night and showed up at his door in your dress with makeup running down your face.

You’d never been hesitant to raise your hand to knock on his door, cringing after you did so and the foreign noise rang far too loud, remembering suddenly that you had your own key and typically would just let yourself in.

Still, you waited for him to come open the door and you scowled at yourself when you instinctively flattened your hair and tried to lean against the door in a semi seductive way. He was swinging the door open with a raised eyebrow before you had the chance to stand upright and amusement paused over his features as he looked at you.

“Are you trying to rob me or something?” He was asking and you swiftly were reminded of who you were here to see, your shoulders losing tension as you pushed past him into the room.

“I was trying to be sexy dickhead.” You were complaining to him and you tried not to feel nervous again as you sat down on his bed, glancing at him to see him watching you from over by the couch. “So how do we do this?”

He was shrugging softly after a few seconds but still approaching you and also sitting on the bed, a normal distance away from you but for some reason it felt both too close and too far away. You were reminded why you hadn’t lost your virginity yet despite the overwhelming desire to, freezing up and becoming awkward whenever you entered a situation that could potentially lead to it.

“First, you’ve gotta relax dude.” He was sighing and you look over at him with a frown, not surprised that he had immediately clocked your hesitation. “It’s just me.”

This fact did little to help you now that you thought about it. You’d immediately came to him because he was your other half and there was no way you’d ever find somebody you were more comfortable being vulnerable with but you hadn’t considered the fact you’d actually have to have sex with him to have sex with him.

Jay was attractive, something you’ve always known and never bothered to deny despite not outwardly announcing it. You listened bitterly to your other friends gossip and gush about him once you entered high school and he hit puberty, growing rapidly in height and his features sharpening.

It only worsened when he became obsessed with going to the gym after school and wearing clothes that showed off his arms even when it was cold outside.

You were filled with a weird sense of pride that he had chosen to be your best friend even throughout his growing popularity, denying dates with beautiful girls if the two of you already had plans and never paying any mind to the way your friends would throw themselves at him every time you managed to drag him out to parties with you.

Yet you’d never thought of him in that way, despite your moms always talking about how the two of you were destined to be married and how most guys you encountered told you that they’d just assumed Jay was your boyfriend and never bothered to try and flirt with you because of that.

“We should probably kiss each other.” You were suddenly blurting out and his face instinctively scrunched up at the suggestion, causing you to sigh softly and look at him in bewilderment. “We can’t have sex and not kiss, that’s super weird.”

“I know I know.” He was telling you and he was sitting up from where he’d been leaned against the headboard and you flushed now that he was closer to you, feeling weird that his presence was causing that within this specific context.

You’d kissed Jay before, quite a few times but it was never anything more than quick press of your lips or a peck that you immediately recoiled from. He’d actually been your first kiss, surging forward during a spin the bottle game in middle school before anybody else got the chance and you had thanked him with ice cream later that night for saving your virgin lips from one of the creepy older boys eyeing you.

That was just Jay, the most selfless and caring best friend you could ever imagine and you felt lucky every time he was doing you a ridiculous favor at 4am after you’d awaken him from his deep sleep.

Another reason why you hadn’t hesitated in asking him to help you with this although now you were slightly regretting it and not the biggest fan of how quick he was to accept anything you wished for. He was eyeing you curiously and you knew he had sensed your hesitance, making you worried that he would back out under the impression you didn’t actually want this to happen.

You were moving closer to him before he could do so and his eyes widened for a second at your sudden close proximity before his eyes were falling down to your lips and then back up again like he was asking for permission.

You nodded softly but you still weren’t prepared for the way his hand came up to cup the side of your face gently, helping you meet him halfway into a kiss and you tensed up at the contact. He pulled back for a second after barely touching your lips, waiting for you to loosen up and when your shoulders were dropping and you pushed forward again he finally moved more.

The first thing you noticed was that Jay was a good kisser. He was moving against you slowly but you could tell he was taking it easy on you, his thumb swiping along your cheek to keep your anxiety calm and if you didn’t know any better you’d think this wasn’t a big deal at all to him. But you did know better, in fact you knew best, and you could tell he was equally as nervous as you were judging by the way his eyes darted around your face every time he pulled back to make sure it was still okay.

“Can I try more?” He was rasping out to you and your stomach tightened at the sound of his voice. You thought you’d heard all of his voices, having heard him angry and yelling or upset with his voice cracking around words before fading out into a low whisper but you’d never heard it like this before.

You didn’t even think before nodding your head, leaning towards him again in a daze and ignoring the soft laugh he let out as your lips connected once more. He was kissing you the same as before, slow and patient so he didn’t push your limits and you were growing slightly impatient until you felt his tongue swipe across your lower lip.

Your mouth parted in a surprised gasp but he seemed to take this as an invitation, slipping it into your mouth and you squirmed at the feeling of him licking into the kiss. You shifted forward towards him instinctively on the bed and you felt your knee collide with his, ignoring it in favor of pushing your own tongue against his and listening to the small groan that slipped out of his mouth.

“Is it okay?” He was barely pulling back to ask and you were still trying to move closer to him as he spoke, making the words muffled as he ignored your desperation. You were nodding as an answer to him and he seemed pleased by your confirmation before remembering he was meant to be teaching you. “Try sucking on it a little.”

Your eyes widened at his suggestion and you stopped trying to kiss him so you could stare up at him in confusion, watching in amusement as his ears turned slightly red and he looked something close to bashful for suggesting it.

“Does that make you feel good?” You were whispering to him, speaking for the first time since this started and his eyes shot back down to your lips now that they were moving.

“I-I mean.. I think most guys would like it.” He was trying to justify his reasoning for suggesting something so specific but he could tell by your smile that was slowly growing that you were just messing with him, sighing softly before leaning into you again to reconnect the kiss.

Despite you making fun of him, you still were nervous to test out what he had suggested and you were grateful that he started off slow again and didn’t immediately stick his tongue down your throat. He kissed you gently for almost too long and you decided to act before he did, parting his lips slightly and deepening it yourself. He hummed in approval and your face flushed red at the small noise, fighting the urge to retreat and hide your face from him.

You could feel him take a deep breath when you were hesitantly sucking his tongue into your mouth, twisting your head sideways so you could take it deeper and pull back and forth along it.

His hand was shooting to your knee and gripping it tightly at the feeling, giving you a warning to stop that you quickly ignored. You never thought that kissing Jay would feel so good, leave you shuffling forward into his touch on your leg and desperately kissing him continuously to ensure he wouldn’t stop.

He was making another low sound into your mouth and only then did you pull off for a second, breathing heavily and staring at him with hooded eyes. He held your stare for a few seconds before he was looking away suddenly, his expression not giving anything away but you could tell he was starting to overthink about the whole situation.

“Is it too weird?” You were asking him and he glanced over at you at the sound of your breathy voice, eyes shooting down to your swollen lips and then back to his hand that was still on your knee.

He removed it and you weirdly felt a pang of disappointment at the movement, scooting closer to him on the bed and leaning forward slightly into his line of vision so he had no choice but to give his attention to you. His expression was neutral again when he looked at you and you found yourself cursing the fact your bestfriend was so stoic.

“I think we should stop here for the day.” He was telling you in a calm voice and your mouth fell into a pout of disappointment without you even realizing it, only noticing it when his eyes went back to your lips and stayed there when he saw the way they were jutted out.

“We barely even did anything.” You weren’t embarrassed by the childish whine slipping into your tone, knowing perfectly well what typically got Jay to succumb to your wants and you could tell he was weak spirited in his attempt to stop early by the way he sighed softly and continued to stare at you in contemplation.

“What else did you want to do?” His question was making you freeze up, not expecting the control to be handed over to you and you instinctively shrugged as the familiar nerves crept back up.

He quickly picked up on your body language and the fact you didn’t want to be the one in charge of making the decisions, sensing the panic building inside you at his lack of control and he shifted on the bed before sighing once again and shaking his head to himself in disbelief. You watched him as he leaned back up against the headboard, his legs spread out in front of him and your eyes widened slightly when he was patting his lap expectantly.

“You always sit on my lap, don’t overthink it.” He was instructing you when you he saw your facial expression and you nodded softly before you were scooting forward and situating yourself sideways on his lap, directly on top of his thighs and holding onto his shoulders so you didn’t lose your balance.

He was right, you did often sit on his lap even when he groaned and told you to get off and you rarely thought twice about doing the action but you didn’t ever sit in his lap with this weird energy in the room. And you definitely never sat in his lap and leaned down to kiss him again like you were now, moving without realizing but you were grateful that he was quickly kissing you back without any hesitation now and you could feel his hand laying over your own legs to hold your waist and keep you steady.

You were slightly above him in the new position so he had to crane his neck to meet with your lips and you could feel his jaw tensing under where your hand was moving to, holding his face gently and kissing him deeper.

His hand was tightening when you shifted in place uncomfortably and you pulled out of the kiss to glance at him, seeing his awkward expression for just a second before your eyes were falling down to where you were sat against him. You shifted again experimentally and he let out a low groan, squeezing your waist almost painfully on reflex and your lips curled back into a smile.

“Cut it out.” He was squeezing out the words in a wince and you ignored him, shifting your hips over his again and feeling him lift his fingers to swat at your skin where your shirt had ridden up. “I said cut it out dickhead.”

“Can’t you at least pretend we are doing this for real?” You were stopping in your movements to pout down at him, your hand leaving his face and instead brushing through his hair gently. He was watching you with an annoyed expression but you knew it wasn’t sincere. “Try dirty talking to me or something.”

He snorted out a laugh of disbelief and shook his head, denying your request even when your pout deepened and you huffed in disappointment. You were a bit confused within yourself at your own request, not necessarily needing practice in that department but for some reason you wanted to hear his voice more while you were doing this.

“I’m not going to dirty talk.” He was denying even harder, seemingly genuinely flabbergasted that you were asking him to do that and you sighed softly.

“At least say something nice, call me pretty or something.” Your hands were running through his hair as you spoke and he lost his amused expression after a few seconds, staring at you as he processed your words and instinctively leaning closer to your touch.

He was kissing you again then and you were throw off by how familiar it felt, how easy it was for you to immediately move against him like this was something you’d been doing for years. It felt different now that his hands were touching you, squeezing your lower back so you were leaning forward towards his chest and still using your hands in his hair to tilt his head back and give you more access.

“You know you’re pretty.” He was breathing out the words into your mouth and you smiled into the kiss, deepening it again once more before you were pulling back a bit to respond to him.

“So pretty it makes you crazy?” Your voice was teasing again and his eyes flashed with a glint of something you didn’t recognize, watching you in a way that would’ve made you squirm if it was anybody else.

But it wasn’t anybody else, it was him and because it was him you were able to laugh softly before wrapping your arms around his neck and laying your head on his shoulder, grateful when he took the hint that you were done for now and leaned further into the headboard so you could both lay down with you still in his lap.

You tried not to think about the fact you could taste Jay on your lips still or the low noises that were pulled out of him just a few minutes ago, instead just laying there with him and hoping you wouldn’t regret this.

——

After you’d left his apartment you didn’t see Jay for the next two days. It wasn’t extremely rare that you were apart that long but it was right around the amount of time where you’d start to get antsy and miss being in his comforting presence, always finding a natural relaxer in him and his calm personality so you didn’t think twice before you were heading over to his place after your final class for the day.

You were skipping a step at a time as you made your way up to his apartment floor, passing through the outside walkway and the other residents tables and children’s toys with familiarity and ease.

Your fingers were reaching down into your bag in search of your key, adorned on the keychain that contained a polaroid of the two of you from high school also attached. Your search slowed to a stop when you rounded the last corner and saw that his door was already open, eyebrows furrowing at the fact he was standing in the doorway and smiling as he talked to a girl standing against the outside railing.

She was grinning back at him, flicking her hair back over her shoulder and your eyes narrowed at the way she laughed loudly and leaned forward to push against his arm teasingly.

Jay was extremely nice with an overload of manners and gentle acts of kindness but he definitely wasn’t the most social person you knew and you rarely saw him interacting with people outside of you and a few boys he’d met at work. You absolutely didn’t recognize her and you were certain you’d never seen her before, even more so when he was catching sight of you out of the corner of his eye and you saw them widen slightly.

She was noticing that he was distracted and following his line of sight, mouth pursing in confusion when she saw you and your pointed glare.

It made you feel worse that she clearly had no idea who you were, extremely unnerved at the idea of somebody knowing Jay yet never hearing of you and you didn’t care about the weird way your stomach turned when he cleared his throat to bring her attention back towards him.

She glanced over at you once more before looking back at him and your scowl deepened when she automatically was falling into that smile again, flirty and seductive as she titled her head slightly. You watched as he gave her a small wave goodbye after saying something you couldn’t hear and you didn’t bother turning your body when she walked past, leaving her to awkwardly squeeze past you.

Jay was watching the exchange and sighed softly when he saw your dark expression, turning around and heading back into his apartment but leaving the door open so you could follow.

“Who was that?” You were demanding as you stormed through, setting your bag down on the kitchen counter and turning towards where he was situating himself down on the couch.

“New hire at work.” He was explaining in a bored tone and you watched as he looked over his shoulder at you, immediately understanding that you wanted more context and shrugging softly as he continued. “I’m supposed to show her the ropes and she asked to go out for coffee.”

“She walked you home?” You were interjecting and slipping off your shoes, making your way over to the couch and sitting up on your knees next to him once you got over there.

He nodded his head in confirmation, watching you carefully and you frowned softly. Jay was used to your possessiveness when it came to him and sharing his time and energy, it had actually caused a few arguments between the two of you that always ended with you crying and apologizing for your behavior and him telling you it was okay and that he really didn’t mind.

Sometimes you thought he was just saying it to be nice and make you feel better but other times you had a hunch that he actually didn’t mind your clinginess. You’d see a small smirk playing on his face when you stayed close to him at parties or sent sharp stares towards girls who were eyeing him with terrible intentions.

“She was pretty.” You were telling him matter of factly but you were watching him carefully to see how he’d respond and he gave you a knowing look before shaking his head.

“I didn’t realize.” He was responding and you smiled at his attempt at a safe answer, leaning closer into his side and tugging at his sleeve with impatience.

“What are you teaching me today, oh wise one.” He was scrunching up his nose at your choice of title towards him and you could feel him tensing against you at the reminder he was meant to be showing you more things today, only just having finished reeling from kissing earlier in the week.

He wasn’t answering right away so you were sitting up to look at him better, still leaning into him but closer to his face now and in a better position to catch the way his eyes darted down to your lips for a few seconds too long. He was meeting your eyes again and he saw the excitement in them before you were leaning in to kiss him.

You weren’t wasting anytime today considering you’d already pushed past the awkwardness of actually kissing for the first time, throwing your leg over his on the couch so you were straddling his lap and you cut off the small inhale he took at the feeling by licking into his mouth.

His hands were sliding back around to your back, just to rest there as you lowered yourself down on him and leaned fully into the kiss. You weren’t going to admit to him how much you liked kissing him, keeping it a secret within yourself that you almost wished you could just do this for the rest of the night. Just almost though because his hands were squeezing against your waist and you felt a surge of want run through you.

“Can I put you in my mouth?” You were pulling off to whisper into his mouth and his entire body tensed up at your words.

“Jesus christ Y/N.” He was scolding you for your sudden exclamation but you could feel the way his hips twitched in interest underneath your weight. “Warn a guy before you say something like that.”

“It’s important though, isn’t it?” You were muttering to him and ignoring his complaints, circling your hips over him and smiling softly when he let out a low groan at the feeling. He looked slightly pained and conflicted and you almost laughed at him but held it in so he wouldn’t tell you no. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it before, I’m a girl after all.”

“I didn’t realize you were a girl until like junior year.” He was teasing back but your frown immediately deepened and you shoved his shoulder in irritation. He laughed softly at your reaction but didn’t say anything else when you rocked your hips again.

“You’ve really never thought about it?” You were asking him again but your tone was different now, breathier and nearly a purr as you hovered your mouth over his. He kissed you softly for just a second before you were pulling slightly out of his reach. “Never once thought about sticking your cock down my throat Jay?”

He cursed under his breath again but this time you could tell he was taking you seriously, his hands tightening continuously around your hips and helping you rock against him. You were letting out a small hiccuped gasp and falling forward slightly onto his chest at the feeling of him pushing up into you, feeling him hard underneath you.

You’d never thought about Jay being hard before and a year ago the idea probably would have made you throw up in your mouth. You were trying to convince yourself that this reaction was purely biological, throbbing now at the feeling of him pressing against you continuously, but you couldn’t stop staring at his hooded eyes and the way his jaw tensed every time you lowered yourself harder onto him.

“Get on your knees then.” He was mumbling out against your lips and you felt a shiver wrack through you at the stern tone he had taken, hearing it hundreds of times before and you mostly never listened to him but your body instinctively was sliding off his lap and hitting the carpet.

You were sat next to his feet with wide and confused eyes, watching him to see what you were supposed to do next and he seemed to snap out of it and remember he was supposed to be showing you how to do it, shaking his head slightly to ground himself before lifting his hips off the couch and undoing his belt with one hand.

You watched him with fascination as you leaned forward to get closer to him, your hands landing on his thighs and feeling the muscle clench under your hands.

He paused for a second and was staring at you long enough for you to start shifting uncomfortably, not being able to read the expression on his face and taking it as a negative considering how weird the situation was.

“You can close your eyes and pretend it’s someone else if you need to.” You were offering the out to him and his eyebrows furrowed at your suggestion, although not saying anything as he slid his pants down his thighs.

Your eyes were dropping to his crotch and they widened slightly, completely forgetting about the weird moment you’d just had and leaning forward again so you could touch him. He swore under his breath when you rubbed your hand over the print in his boxers, muttering something about you warning him again.

“Stop being so tense.” You were telling him as you continued to touch him over the fabric, watching with interest as his stomach clenched and he tongued at his cheek.

“Sorry it’s just… you’re touching my dick dude.” He was wincing out and scrunching his nose at the sentence, causing a small laugh to slip out of you before you were getting serious again and squeezing his length softly.

“This is supposed to be sexy.” Your tone was slightly disappointed and he picked his head up from where it’d fallen back against the couch, looking at you and your dejected expression before his gaze was falling to your hand on top of him.

“Yeah, don’t worry about that.” He was responding in a low tone and you were confused for a second before flushing at the realization he was implying this was attractive to him without any effort.

He wasn’t saying anything again after that and you noticed he was a bit too distracted to actually give you a play by play, something you didn’t mind considering how it might take you out of the moment and make you too nervous to be given specific instructions to follow. You decided to just try your best and hope he would correct you if you hurt him or did anything wrong.

You were leaning forward to put your mouth on him, instinctively sucking softly over his underwear and he let out a loud groan again, his hips kicking forward automatically and you smiled against him at the apology he forced out.

It was making you feel weird that you were so enamored by the faces Jay made when he was feeling good, the way his jaw clenched and the breaths he hissed through his teeth. You were shifting in your kneeling position uncomfortably with the wetness dripping down your thighs.

“Take it out.” You were telling him softly, trying to distract yourself from this realization and he picked his head up again to look at you for a second before nodding swiftly and lifting his hips up off the couch again.

You expected him to be more hesitant like he had been, looking like he was on the verge of calling this whole ordeal off at every move you made, so you were slightly thrown off when his cock was suddenly bare and standing straight right in front of your face. Your eyes widened slightly at the appearance and you could feel him staring down at your face to gauge your reaction.

“This is pretty impressive Jay.” You were remaking before glancing up at him and seeing an amused look pass over his face before he was rolling his eyes at you.

“Yeah.. so maybe we should work on dirty talk.” He was retorting, making fun of your plain style of a compliment.

You were being honest though, genuinely thrown off by his size and length. This was something you’ve definitely thought about just not in such a hands on way, more so out of curiosity to what your quiet friend was packing and wondering the reasoning behind the small smirk he got around his male friends whenever they started arguing over who was bigger.

You didn’t need to wonder anymore, clearly having your answer now and whilst you’d never paid much thought to your best friends dick size, it was undeniable that it was big enough to make your mouth instinctively water.

His hand was gently pushing your hair out of your face as you leaned forward towards his lower half again and your eyes snapped up once more just for a second, faltering slightly at the affectionate look in his eyes as he tucked some loose strands behind your ears and then you were fully moving forward and taking his head into your mouth.

“Oh fuck.” The words were slipping out of his mouth and you could tell he was using a lot of his focus to stop himself from bucking forward into your mouth. “D-don’t worry about fitting it all he’ll like it if you just, fuck, do what you can then use your hands.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a second at who he was referring to and he noticed, his eyebrow cocking at your expression before you were remembering the whole reason he was letting you do this and your face flushed. You quickly tried to distract him from your mistake, licking up his length softly and feeling relief when his head was falling back in a sharp gasp.

He didn’t say anything else for awhile other than occasionally muttering that you were doing a good job or softly telling you to watch your teeth, his hand in your hair but not tugging, just resting there and keeping it out of your face.

You could tell he was close after not too long of your soft touches and amateurish licks, his hips kicking up off the couch instinctively and his free hand curling into the fabric below it. You were watching him from behind your eyelashes and you felt the urge to draw his attention back to you, give him a reason to look at you while you did this and not lean his head back against the couch.

“Go to a party with me tonight.” You were taking your mouth off of him and freezing in your movements, keeping your hand still where it was wrapped around the base of his length but squeezing it softly.

He was lifting his head up swiftly and glancing down at you with a panicked look, his eyes shooting to your hand around him and then immediately up to your face. His ears turned red when he caught sight of your swollen lips and teary eyes but he didn’t say anything about it and instead just shook his head at you.

“What are you talking about?” He was groaning out, followed by an even louder noise when you were squeezing him again. “Cut that out.”

“Tell me you’ll come with me.” You were leaning forward to suck his head into your mouth slightly, tasting the beginning of his end on your tongue and almost recoiling from the shock of the taste.

You held strong to prove your point, taking him deeper into your mouth and a heat passed through you at the fact he was watching you now, eyes transfixed down on your face and darkening as he watched you try to fit as much of him in your throat as possible. You shifted on your knees again uncomfortably due to the throbbing behind your underwear, resisting the urge to sit yourself down on his foot and take some of the pressure off your core.

He didn’t say anything regarding your request until he was getting close again, sighing when you removed your mouth once more and he realized you weren’t going to let him cum until he agreed to come with you.

“Fuck, fine I’ll go.” He was rushing out and you smiled softly at him, eyes lighting up with excitement and he thought about how familiar the expression was in such a jarring foreign setting.

Any contemplation about your strange situation was gone the second you were taking him back into your mouth, feeling how tight and wet your throat was before you were finally letting him finish. You winced at the feeling of him cumming inside your mouth but the noises he made distracted you from it, watching him become overwhelmed with pleasure that you caused.

You were smiling again even though he wasn’t looking anymore, suddenly feeling a lot better about this.

——

“I can’t believe you actually got him to come out.” You were turning around at the sound of somebody’s voice behind you, two drinks in hand and a raised eyebrow until you saw it was one of the boys from the football team who knew Jay.

“It was just some mild convincing.” You smiled at him, lips curling up and your mind flashed with the memory of how Jay looked sitting above you on the couch.

He hadn’t complained much about having to come, throwing in small statements of annoyance here and there but for the most part he’d been a good sport. You’d expected it to be more awkward around him, your own face flushing with heat when he had arrived at your dorm to pick you up but he was almost overly casual about the entire ordeal and you felt a bit childish for not being able to hold eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I guess he’s got that soft spot for you.” He was responding and shifting in his spot where he was looking out at the crowd. “I’m sure he won’t regret it after tonight.” The boy was chirping back and your own grin fell in confusion at the smirk on his face, following where his eyes were looking and fully frowning when you saw somebody standing next to your friend now.

She looked familiar, maybe a classmate or somebody who worked around campus, but you couldn’t quite place where you had seen her. Maybe this was due to the fact you weren’t at all focused on her face, your eyes locked on her hand that was wrapped around Jay’s wrist as she laughed softly at something he was saying.

He looked just as awkward as he always did but you felt like he was watching her reaction to see if she’d laugh at his comment, whatever it may be, and your eyebrow cocked softly at the fact he wasn’t moving away from her touch at all. You felt stupid when the jock next to you was awkwardly clearing his throat at your sudden silence, glancing over at him and then turning red because your own jealous thoughts regarding your best friend.

You were fully aware you had an issue when it came to being possessive over him but it had never necessarily extended to him interacting with other girls in a flirty way, especially when he genuinely seemed interested. You didn’t typically try to set him up or guide him towards a relationship but you never interfered with a potential one, you certainly never felt such a weird pit in your stomach because of it.

You were making your way back to him without saying another word to the boy beside you, two cups still tightly held in your hand and you saw the girl glance over at you as you approached.

She dropped her hand off of Jay’s arm and you smiled a wide fake grin at her, casually passing him his drink and tilting your head with faux curiosity. You could feel him looking at the side of your face as you did so, feeling your arm brush against his considering how close you had planted yourself to him and you were parting your mouth to speak before you thought about it.

“Are you Jay’s friend?” You were asking her in a friendly voice but you knew she could see the glint in your eye, the way you leaned your body towards Jay as you said his name and tightened your grip around your cup.

“I.. I mean yeah, well not really. I’m just-“ She was trying to explain with a small nervous chuckle, her eyes shooting back and forth between you and him like she expected him to interject and tell you her reason for being there.

“Not really then.” Your second smile was a lot more forced and showcasing a sympathy for her that was mean and unnecessary, slipping off when she was glaring at you slightly before turning to leave and walk around from the two of you.

You moved away from him again with a sigh once she was gone, turning your body to rest your back against the wall and take a sip from your drink. Jay was tense next to you but you didn’t notice until he was looking at you with a flat expression, clearly slightly annoyed by what you had done and you raised an eyebrow at him in question.

“Why did you do that?” He was asking and he was keeping his tone steady like he was genuinely curious but you could tell he was frustrated. You had a feeling that you’d get into an argument if you gave him a wrong answer, shifting uncomfortably and frowning softly.

“You looked uncomfortable.” You were shrugging as the lie slipped through your lips and you glanced at him when he scoffed and pressed himself against the wall next to you, shoulder bumping yours and staying there.

“Did I?” He was retorting and you could tell he knew you were lying, he always did and you felt suddenly embarrassed about how you’d reacted.

You didn’t respond to him but you turned your head to look at him between, something unidentifiable and heavily weighted in your eyes and he watched you carefully before his eyes were flicking down to your lips and then back up. Your interest was piqued at this and you were instinctively leaning closer to him, developing a habit after the last few times but stopping when he was suddenly clearing his throat.

“Park is probably around here somewhere.” He was telling you and his face pulled into a small grimace as he said it, looking away from you and missing the way you froze up slightly at the mention of the boy. “Aren’t you wanting to go find him?”

“I don’t know.” You were shrugging again and he was smiling a bit now which made you flush, knowing he was finding the shift in your mood funny. “I think I need a little more practice right?”

“Yeah?” He was still standing close to you, body slightly leaned forward so he was hovering his face near yours and this time when his eyes dropped to your lips he didn’t retract, just watching you carefully as that familiar but unreadable look crept back up in his eyes.

You didn’t respond to him out loud, not fully trusting yourself to speak but you were nodding your head softly and staring up at him with big eyes, having half a mind to stop yourself from reaching your hand up to hold his arm but a surge of want was running through you considering the way he was looking at you.

It wasn’t like people didn’t already talk about the two of you, having to explain to almost everybody you’d ever met that you weren’t dating or anything remotely close to it and people still didn’t necessarily believe you when you said it so it wouldn’t be the end of the world to touch him here, even this close to each others faces. But you’d been trying to convince them all for years and you’d feel a bit stupid to be caught doing unfriendly things with him now, especially with how new it was to you.

You also needed to remind yourself that you weren’t doing this for fun and there was an end goal here with Sunghoon, a goal that might as well be forfeited the second you started making out with your close male friend at a party he was also attending.

Jay wasn’t making it easy to remember this small fact, clouding your head and sense of judgment the longer he stared down at you and the closer you subconsciously swayed towards his steady frame. Part of you felt like your brain had made a connection, something clicking after he’d touched you for the first time and crossed that line friends typically didn’t.

“Stop looking at me like you want to kiss me.” He was mumbling but he had a small smile on his face, lip curled up as he watched you with amusement and you were sure you frowned at his teasing.

“Why can’t we?” You shifted onto your tiptoes for a second before dropping back down, your nose just barely grazing his but enough for him to follow your face back down and press a quick kiss against you like he couldn’t help himself.

He was immediately pulling away however and you watched him as he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head softly in denial and glancing over his shoulder for a second like he was making sure nobody was watching the two of you. Your hand was coming up to rest near his ribs, bringing his attention back down to you and you could feel his heart beating under your palm.

“No one’s looking.” You were reasoning, half hurt he cared too much and half thrown off by the fact that you didn’t at all. He didn’t object when you were rocking forward to kiss against his jaw softly, sucking in a small breath when you were swiping your tongue along his warm skin.

“Let me take you home.” His voice was low on your ear and you could feel his hands sliding over your sides to hold your lower back, drifting dangerously low but he was rotating his body so he was hiding you behind him against the wall.

“Can’t be so romantic if we are practicing for the real thing.” You were smiling at him humorlessly but he didn’t seem to find it funny, tensing at the mention of your real sexual encounters being meaningless and futile. “You have to treat me like some random hookup.”

He was watching you for a second to try and see if you were serious before his eyes were drifting away again like he was thinking about something. Eventually, you stared at him as he found his way back to you and moved one of his hands so he could brush your hair back behind your ear and out of your face. “Yeah, you know I can’t do that.”

You didn’t respond to him immediately, faltering slightly at the sincerity in his voice but you didn’t have a chance to think about what he was implying before he was fully kissing you finally. You almost pushed him away to ask for clarification but you quickly forgot about the strange statement when he was slipping his tongue into your mouth, melting against the wall and pushing against him completely.

Kissing him standing up felt different for some reason, you could feel every part of his body flat against yours and the height difference was a lot more evident, making your head spin slightly.

He wasn’t taking it easy on you anymore like he had the last few times, deepening the kiss immediately until your head was completely tilted back and accepting anything he would give you. The feeling of his tongue against yours, mixed with the fact you were in public and able to be seen by anybody sober enough to take a closer look and see who he had against the wall, was sending a heat through your body and you arched closer to him.

His hands were lower than your back now, squeezing and groping you in a way that took your breath away and made your knees so weak you would’ve crumbled to the floor if it wasn’t for him holding you up.

“Jay.” You were panting out into his mouth and his grip tightened at the sound of your breathy voice saying his name, pulling back just enough to allow you to speak. “Need you to touch me, please.”

“Not here baby, we can’t.” He was quickly responding and shaking his head, his hair loosening up slightly and falling over his forehead at the movement. You hoped he didn’t notice the way you practically gasped at the pet name slipping from his mouth so casually, shifting against the wall at his hesitant rejection.

He was looking down at you with want in his eyes so you weren’t too put off by him trying to say you couldn’t, rubbing your hand against his chest and pushing closer again until his lips were touching yours. You didn’t kiss him, just letting him feel you there and you let out a sigh of relief when he was losing his resolve and surging forward to fully press his lips against yours again.

It was addicting to kiss him like this and your hands were twisting in his hair softly, keeping him moving tight against you and giving him no room to change his mind again. You could feel his hands on your body tugging you forward against his hips, your leg going up slightly closer to his waist so he could fully slot in between your legs and nearly suffocate you against the wall.

He wasn’t moving you away even when your hand was slipping back down past his ribs, cupping him through his pants and smiling softly into the kiss when he hissed softly and faltered in his own touching.

“Fuck.” He was mumbling the word into your mouth and you knew you had gotten him, kissing him again even though he wasn’t moving anymore and just recovering from the feeling of your hand on him. “I’m going to go get a cab, let’s go back home.”

This time you didn’t object, liking the way he phrased going back to his apartment to include you and he kissed you one more time before he was stepping away and heading outside to call down a ride. You waited for him against the wall, knowing he’d come back inside to get you once he managed to get one like he always did.

Your hand was coming up to touch your lips, catching your breath and smiling softly as you thought about him and how strange things have been since you asked him to help you out.

It wasn’t an uncomfortable strange at all outside of the way your heart kept fluttering every time he tucked your hair behind your ears and gave you a particularly affectionate look. Jay was always kind and gentle with you so it didn’t phase you that it extended to this type of activity, figuring that there was no other reason for him to be acting like that and trying to ignore the way that thought made your chest tighten.

“You okay?” Your head was picking up swiftly at the sound of a new voice next to you, panicked at the sudden arrival and then completely freezing when you realized who it was. “You look like you’re going to be sick.” Park Sunghoon was watching you curiously, not much concern on his face, despite acknowledging your strange expression, as he took a sip from his cup casually.

“No I-I’m fine.” You were rushing out quickly and moving your fingers away from your mouth, flattening your hair and looking away from him with slightly widened eyes.

“Was that your boyfriend?” He was asking suddenly but his tone was bored, looking from you then back to the crowd like he was only over here to pass time. You froze up at the realization he was referring to Jay, obviously having seen you pressed against the wall only a few minutes ago.

You weren’t sure what to say for a few seconds, knowing that if this was last week your heart would be pounding with excitement due to the fact Park Sunghoon was speaking to you willingly. Adding onto the fact that he had seen you with somebody, now having no reason to believe you were inexperienced if you were boldly making out in the middle of a crowded party.

“No he..” You were trailing off when you noticed Jay coming back inside now, eyes locked on where he had left you and a small smile creeping up on his face when he saw you, until his eyes traveled over to the boy standing next to you. “He isn’t my boyfriend.”

Sunghoon wasn’t saying anything else but you heard him hum softly in acknowledgment before falling silent again, the both of you just standing there as you watched Jay slowly pass back through the crowd and approach the corner you were standing in. He kept his distance for a second, like he was making sure he wasn’t interrupting anything serious before he was standing by your side and clearing his throat.

“Ready to go?” He was asking in a low tone but you could tell his mood had drastically flipped from when he had left, more hesitant and guarded now like he wasn’t sure you’d actually come with him.

To make matters worse, your eyes instinctively went over to Sunghoon to see his reaction and you didn’t miss your best friend unmistakably tensing from the corner of your drifting gaze.

“Hey man, I’m Sunghoon.” He was still smiling softly, either completely oblivious to the weird tension settling over the two of you or simply not caring at all, and you watched as his hand crossed over where you were standing to extend towards your friend. He wasn’t touching you but he was inadvertently covering your body with his and your eyes widened slightly at the sudden close proximity.

“I know.” Jay was simply responding and not saying anything else, not even glancing down towards the hand waiting for him to take and you heard the other boy laugh softly before he was retracting it.

“You go to school here?” He was asking and you couldn’t tell if he was genuinely trying to make conversation or if he was just attempting to figure out what your friends deal was. Either way you tensed up slightly at the mention of Jay attending your school, a sore spot for both of you considering he hadn’t been accepted and yet he still decided to move here with you so you didn’t have to separate.

“He works on campus.” You quickly interjected when you noticed the way Jay’s jaw clenched at the question, not answering him directly but giving him enough information to let him know why he might look familiar or know who Sunghoon was. “We have to get going now.”

Sunghoon was nodding softly but he was carrying a look of amusement that you couldn’t miss and you were positive Jay hadn’t either, most likely catching on to the building instigation the second he had stepped foot back inside.

“I’ll see you around then.” He was slipping out casually as the two of you started to turn to leave, grinning at you when you looked back over your shoulder and hesitantly nodded, hand raising in a small wave before you were feeling Jay’s hand on your back leading you out of the house.

He didn’t say anything as you made your way outside and he remained silent the entire ride back to his apartment, staring out the window and keeping his hands in his lap as he avoided looking at you. You were a bit confused on what exactly he was feeling but you knew for sure that something had shifted once he saw Sunghoon and you weren’t going back home for the same reason anymore.

You sighed softly when he quickly got out of the taxi, standing there with the door open until you had scooted across the leather seats and got out into the night air. He closed it softly after thanking the driver and followed behind you as you made your way up the stairs to his door, the air heavy and so tense you felt like you were suffocating on it.

“Are you not going to talk to me then because I can just head home.” You were remarking once you’d crossed into the apartment, watching him in silence as he took off his jacket and shoes and went to the kitchen to get a drink.

“Is that what you want to do?” He was retorting in a calm tone but you could tell from where you were standing that he was agitated, eyes glinting with irritation as he leaned forward slightly onto the counter but you couldn’t tell if he was upset with you or something else.

“I want to do what you want to do.” You stated plainly and he didn’t respond as you kicked off your shoes, walking past where he was in the kitchen to head towards his sleeping area.

He was watching you as you moved around, the apartment small with an open floor plan but it was homely and you were there often enough to have your own dedicated clothes drawer underneath his. You tried to ignore his gaze on you as you opened the top one instead, pulling out one of his hoodies and glancing at him for a second before you were reaching behind your back to try and unzip your dress.

You heard him sigh softly before he was setting his cup down on the counter, making his way over to you slowly and offering a hand down to you on the bed when you just stared at him in confusion. You let him take your hand in his and he pulled you up softly, turning you around and pushing your hair off your back before he was helping you by pulling the zipper slowly down your back.

Your breath was catching in your throat at the feeling of the fabric loosening around you, his knuckles brushing over your bare skin and his hands stopping just above the curve of your ass.

“We can’t do what I want to do.” You were attempting to turn around to face him at the sound of his soft voice next to your ear but he stopped you by holding tightly onto the middle of your arms.

“Why not?” A small whine had slipped into your voice as you asked the question, so accustomed to him letting you get your way and slightly frustrated that he was being so distant.

You knew it was crossing a line, something that had silently been there for probably longer than you even realized, and you knew you should probably be more hesitant about crossing it but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You’d always been more impulsive than Jay but you knew he had to somewhat feel it too, that strong pull towards each other that was now just multiplying every time he touched you.

It was especially overwhelming now, almost unbearable as he gently lowered the sleeves of your dress off your arms until the top was dangling around your middle. You were completely bare from the waist up now but you didn’t think he could even see you, keeping you in a vulnerable position as you stared forward at the wall.

His hands were brushing against your ribs and for a second you thought he wouldn’t even touch you until you felt him cupping over your chest and groping curiously. Your breath caught in your throat at the feeling of his cold fingers against your warm skin, the rings on his finger brushing against your hardened nipple and you took a stuttered gasp when he squeezed harder.

Jay’s other hand was pressing into your stomach and making sure you were tucked closely against him, feeling him getting harder against you the longer he touched you.

“If it was up to me I’d bend you over right now, just like this.” His voice was low in your ear again and another gasp ran through you when he was slightly tilting you forward, keeping you standing with his arm wrapped around your middle. “I’d tear the rest of your dress off and I’d make sure you never thought about going to Park Sunghoon or any of those other frat assholes again.”

“Then just do it.” You were panting out to him and trying to press yourself closer, feeling your dress slowly slipping down more from the bundled up fabric dangling around your middle. “What’s stopping you?”

He didn’t respond for a while and eventually he stopped touching you, sighing softly and he breath fanned the back of your neck. His hands were soft again now and resting on your hips carefully like he was considering what to do next.

You knew him well enough to know he wasn’t going to fuck you, certainly not like this and you were half positive he wasn’t going to touch you at all. Still, he was better at telling you vulnerable things when you weren’t staring at him so you didn’t move from your position and let him stand there in contemplation.

You were still slightly disappointed and hurt when he was pulling the rest of your dress down your legs, helping you step out from the middle of it, and then reaching down to grab his hoodie you had picked from the drawer and softly pulling it over your head. He finally turned you around once you were covered up, the hoodie coming down just above the middle of your thighs and he moved your hair out from inside the collar.

“Kiss me at least.” You were suddenly saying and grabbing his hands to stop him from moving away from you. His eyes glistened with something but he was letting you place his hands back around you, your own arms snaking up and around his neck in a strangely domestic position.

He didn’t say anything but he fulfilled your request, kissing you softly and pulling you tighter against him.

It was impossible to pretend now that you weren’t changing your mind about the entire thing, no use trying to push how good this felt to the back of your mind. You immediately felt a wave of relief wash over you and you practically melted in his hold, familiar and comfortable in a way that nobody could ever replicate and you knew he had to be feeling something similar if he was this conflicted about having sex with you.

Jay was your rock in the sense he was calculated and careful in almost everything he did and you figured he would’ve had sex with you easily if he had decided there was no risk to your friendship in the aftermath. The risk was there and it was prominent especially now as you leaned into him again, fully accepting it despite his hesitance.

You were squealing softly when he was suddenly lifting you up against him, taking a few steps forward before dropping the both of you on his bed and you giggled into the kiss when he turned your bodies so you’d land on him and he could take the weight of the fall.

The two of you kissed like that for a while longer, almost on autopilot as you moved his mouth against yours and you licked into his mouth with now practiced accuracy. He was warm and familiar underneath you, the hard expanse of his body and muscles flexing and easily supporting you and your constant shifting and movements. You were slightly impressed at how well he contained himself, feeling yourself get worked up in only a few minutes and clinging to him desperately.

Eventually the kissing stopped but you stayed just like that, your entire weight on top of him and your head laying on his chest like you had a hundred times.

“Can you tell me why not now?” Your voice was quiet and hesitant as you asked him the question that was still on your mind, letting a little time pass before you were bringing it up again and feeling relieved when he didn’t immediately tense up.

“Why do you get upset when I talk to other girls?” He was responding instead, not answering you directly yet and you frowned softly even though he couldn’t see it.

“I don’t know I can’t explain it.” You mumbled into his chest and you shrugged the best you could in your position. You were swatting at his side when you heard him let out a small scoff of disbelief, his chest vibrating your face when he started to laugh lightly at your upset reaction. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m serious.”

You were being honest despite the vague answer, never really knowing how to explain the sick feeling that washed over you anytime Jay’s attention drifted to somebody else for too long. Your mom used to tell you that you were just used to always being the star of his show and couldn’t handle it when you were out into the background but you figured that you should know better by now, know that you would never be pushed aside for somebody else.

Maybe that was the issue, the two of you always prioritizing each other over actual relationship or even family at times. You’d had dates that would get awkward at the mention of your best friend and you’ve gotten your fair share of nasty glares from the few girls Jay had actually brought around you.

He let your weak answer slide and in return you didn’t push for an answer about why he wouldn’t just let himself go with you, not saying anything else and listening to his breathing level out as he fell asleep underneath you.

——

“A double date? What the hell does that even mean?” You were rushing to catch up with Yuna, eyebrows furrowed due to the news she had just dropped on you casually before continuing to make her way to the class she was late for. You were practically breaking out into a jog to match her long strides. “Why would Sunghoon tell you that and not me?”

“Did you give him your number?” She was quickly retorting and barely sparing you a glance before she was nodding. “Exactly.”

“So he wants to go on a date with me but with you and Jay too?” You were attempting to confirm what she had said but she was sighing softly like repeated it would be a hinderance, stopping in her fast walking to allow you to catch up as you panted softly. “Do you even like Jay?”

“Are you kidding me Y/N? No I don’t like your pseudo husband.” She was shaking her head and scrunching up her nose like the thought grossed her out, your face flushing slightly at the title she had given him as you pushed your messy hair out of your face.

“I don’t think he’d agree to that.” You were telling her and glancing to the side awkwardly, not really understanding the whole situation or the fact that Sunghoon had somehow managed to apparently be interested in you despite the extremely awkward interaction you’d had a few days ago.

“He already has.” She was retorting quickly before turning on her heel and beginning her speed walking again, leaving you standing there dumbfounded as you tried to process what she had said.

You called out to her to ask for clarification but she didn’t turn around and just waved a dismissive hand at you, eventually disappearing around a buildings corner and you could do nothing but sigh softly.

There was absolutely no way Jay had willingly agreed to hang out with Park Sunghoon, adding on the fact he’d be crashing your date and also having to go out with Yuna, who he’d expressed dislike towards multiple times despite your weak defense for her behavior towards you. Your head was swarming in confusion and you almost pulled your phone out to call him and demand answers when you remembered he was at work.

You frowned softly and started to walk again, heading to the other side of campus where his work building was and trying to understand what scenario would lead to him agreeing to come along and also why he hadn’t told you in advance.

The small entrance bell was ringing out loudly as you passed through the door and you tilted your head to try and see around the counter to check if he was there, smiling softly when he was popping his head up with a surprised look.

“Hey.” He was breathing out when he realized it was you, standing up swiftly and circling around the counter until he was standing in front of you. You tried to ignore how out of character it was that he was greeting you so softly, a hand coming up to cup your elbow gently and look down at you. “You alright? Did you lose your key again?”

You were shaking your head and staring up at him with a slight flush to your face. “No just wanted to come here instead of going home. I hope it’s okay, sorry I didn’t call.”

“Don’t say sorry.” He was quickly interjecting and you didn’t say anything after that, just nodding and glancing at the floor hesitantly. He seemed to take notice of your strange demeanor and you picked your head back up when you heard him sigh softly. “You ran into Yuna didn’t you…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were saying instead of directly answering and he looked away from you at the sound of hurt in your voice, still keeping his hand on you despite it tensing.

He didn’t look at you again for a bit but you were almost glad he didn’t, already finding it hard enough to be upset with him when he was just trying to help you. You weren’t sure how to communicate that you didn’t necessarily want help with Sunghoon anymore, knowing he’d stop with the new closeness and routine that you’ve gotten used to other the last two weeks.

“This was the point right?” He was muttering but he seemed hesitant in saying it and a small scoff fell from your lips.

“Right.” You agreed but your tone was bitter and your face had pulled into a grimace, taking a few steps back so his touch fell off of your arms and you were closer to the door again. “Guess I’ll see you tonight then.”

——

Despite absolutely dreading the double date and having no expectations or positive feelings about how it would go, it still somehow managed to be off to a worst start than you could’ve imagined.

Sunghoon had been nearly an hour late to picking you up and hadn’t made any move to get out of his car to greet you, leaving you to wrap your cardigan closer around your shivering frame and round past his hood to his passenger side door. You still planted a smile on your face, trying your best to not make him uncomfortable or show your unenthusiastic mood, but you realized it was pointless considering he was on the phone the entire ride to the restaurant.

He’d greeted you with a half wave before he was cackling about something the person on the other side was saying, not caring as you crossed your arms and zoned out for the entirety of the drive.

You sat in the leather chair after you’d arrived to the restaurant you were meeting the other two at, waiting impatiently and glaring at him from the corner of your eye as he continued his loud conversation for another twenty minutes, parked outside and unmoving. Eventually he was glancing at you and letting out a sigh, announcing to the caller that he would have to call them back.

“Alright, let’s go I’m starving.” He was quickly saying before he was opening his door and leaving the vehicle, leaving you dumbfounded for a few seconds at his lack of manners before you were hopping out and jogging to catch up with him.

You were absolutely fuming by the time you’d gotten inside, not understanding why Sunghoon had bothered arranging this whole entire thing when he clearly wasn’t interested in you. You were used to be outspoken and blunt but you just felt embarrassed about the whole thing and couldn’t bring yourself to confront him while the others were waiting inside.

It got worse once you saw them sitting together although Jay was clearly in the same boat as you, arms crossed and staring blankly at the table in front of him as Yuna chatted animatedly and leaned closer to him to try and show him something on her phone screen.

Sunghoon cleared his throat when the two of you got closer and both of their gazes shot up in your direction, her face curling into a bright flirty smile at the sight of your date. Jay’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of you but then they immediately flickered down to Sunghoon’s hand that was rudely placed on your lower back after he’d complained you were walking too slow.

It could’ve been going worse technically, you and Jay hadn’t spoken a word the entire night but your dates clearly didn’t care, talking to each other nonstop about school and parties they’d attended. The two clearly had a lot in common considering their popularity status and their apparent habit of having terrible manners.

You were sat directly next to Jay and you tried to ignore him for the most part, especially since he was wearing your favorite shirt of his and you could smell his heavy addicting cologne from a seat over.

It wasn’t going too well considering he had been continuously glaring in your direction since you sat down, unrelenting even when the waitress came by and he recited both of your orders with ease. You were fed up with his bad mood, especially since he was the one who had agreed to this entire ordeal, and he was jumping in his seat at the feeling of you sending a sharp kick towards his shin.

Yuna spared him a quick glance at his sudden movement but didn’t stop her rambles and you watched as Jay sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Yours was buzzing only a few seconds later and you glared at him before picking it up and unlocking it.

Jay : What the hell was that for?

Y/N : stop staring at me like that

You watched his face as he read it and you felt slightly flushed when his eyes were meeting yours for a second before going back down to his phone screen and hurriedly typing.

Jay : Stay still

He was putting the device back into his pocket before you had a chance to respond to him and ask what he was talking about, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you stared at him and waited for any type of explanation.

You quickly got it when you were feeling something touching your leg underneath the table, jumping slightly at the sudden contact before your wide eyes were meeting his and seeing the slight warning in them. You were reminded of him message to stay still and you planted yourself firmly despite the urge to squirm at the feeling of his hand gently rubbing your bare knee.

“So Y/N, are you working anywhere right now then?” Sunghoon was suddenly asking you and you liked him a lot less than you already did considering he decided to finally speak to you at the worst possible time.

You cleared your throat softly before shifting in your seat to sit up more, accidentally causing Jay’s hand to move further on your leg until it was gently moving your dress up and resting on your thigh. You expected him to move it back down but he kept it firmly there, squeezing your skin softly as he waited for you to answer.

“Um.. n-no not right now I’m just… going to school.” You were trailing off softly after awkwardly squeezing the sentence out and the table was silent as they looked at your flushed face.

“She doesn’t need to anyways.” Yuna was quickly adding and her mouth was curled into a half sneer, playing with her half finished food as she met your eyes for a split second before continuing. “Jay pays for basically everything for her.”

An awkwardness settled over the table at her extremely bitter tone and you saw Sunghoon’s eyebrows raise in interest, that same amused expression he had at the party returning. Jay’s hand was tightening on your thigh harshly and you made a small noise of surprise before quickly pretending to choke and take a drink of your water.

He didn’t seem to notice he had done it and he immediately was releasing the tight hold and rubbing the skin gently as a silent apology, shifting in his seat when you were swinging your foot to kick at his leg again.

“So you two met on campus then?” Sunghoon was continuing to ask questions despite the fact you were obviously uncomfortable and Jay was glaring daggers in his direction.

“Um no.. we’ve been friends since we were little actually.” You were explaining in a soft voice and another flash of interest with through the boys eyes, glancing between the two of you with a weird excitement printed on his face.

“And you never got together?” He was blurting out, clearly not caring about how blunt and overly personal the question was considering you’d barely spoken outside of small talk in passing. Your mouth was parting in surprise and you glanced over at your friend who was as looking more and more angry as the seconds passed.

“That’s none of your business.” Jay was spitting out and his tone was low and harsh, much different than the one he normally had with you.

Sunghoon didn’t seem deterred at all although even Yuna had finally fallen silent, watching the interaction with a careful expression. “She is my date isn’t she?”

You heard your best friend scoff harshly but he didn’t immediately say anything, glancing over at you like he expected you to interject and when you looked over at him with wide eyes and a continuously parting mouth, his features hardened when he realized you weren’t going to say anything. You didn’t do anything but sit there and search for words as he pushed his chair back and stood up, leaving your skin that was warmed under his hand with a sudden chill.

Sunghoon was laughing softly as Jay left the restaurant and you turned to glare at him in disbelief, not understanding his motive but quickly realizing that he was super amused by the two of you and your confusing dynamic.

It wasn’t hard to understand that he didn’t have feelings for you and only invited you on this date for some entertainment, most likely catching interest at the party when you had awkwardly left with Jay. Your mouth was turning down into a frown and you followed his actions of standing up from your chair, flattening down your dress before turning and following after him.

He was halfway through the parking lot by the time you managed to catch up with him, running the best you could in your uncomfortable heels but thankfully he was slowing down when he heard them clicking on the cement. His back was tensed since he knew it was you but you were still grateful he had stopped for you.

“Where are you going?” Your voice was soft and weak, not necessarily voicing the question you wanted to ask but you just felt the need to say something to fill the silence.

“I can’t do this anymore Y/N.” He was turning around as he spoke and he sounded genuinely tired, staring down at you with hooded eyes and a hurt expression on his face. You watched him with confusion and he sighed softly before tossing a hand up in frustration. “I can’t be around you pretending like this, it’s killing me.”

“We don’t have to do it anymore then.” You were quickly telling him although it hurt you to say and you were taking a step closer to try and reassure him, stiffening up when he was automatically backing away from you.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” He was saying and he sounded certain but you were confused on what he meant, eyebrows furrowing which only seemed to upset him further. “This isn’t the pretending Y/N, being with you like we’ve been doing for the last few weeks. That isn’t the hard part, how can’t you get that?”

You were slightly understanding what he was implying now but it made no sense to you, a sick feeling washing over you at the fact he was seemingly saying he had been feeling the same way you had been. He was sighing again at your lack of a response but he didn’t say anything, looking to the side where his car was parked before he was glancing at you again.

“How would I get that?” You were countering with more force than you meant to let into your tone, slightly frustrated that he was placing blame solely on you for not realizing his feelings about this whole situation.

“Are you kidding me?” He was laughing but it was completely humorless and angry. Not necessarily at you but definitely at the situation the two of you had gotten yourself into. “I moved down here to be with you dude. I work a shitty job on the campus of a school I was too fucking dumb to get into, stuck in a tiny apartment with neighbors who have no volume control.”

He was moving his hands around a lot as he spoke, clearly upset and releasing thoughts he’d been keeping bottled up for longer than you realized. Your eyes were stinging with tears as you listened to him rant, bringing up the fact you hadn’t gotten into the same school, something you knew had been bugging him for some time.

You never thought less of him for not getting accepted and you had hoped he didn’t either, not ever wanting to talk about it after he decided to just not apply anywhere else. You figured he had come with you so you wouldn’t be lonely but your heart cracked a little at the implication he had solely came with because it was him that didn’t want to be without you for a long time.

Your nose scrunched up at the negative way he talked about his apartment, the disgust in his voice directed towards the same place that brought you the most comfort in the world.

It was definitely small and you’d spend countless nights banging on the walls to try and get the next door neighbors to quiet down but it was always a happy memory for you, giggling with him as you laid flat on your backs and kicked against the drywall repeatedly. You thought about waking up in his small bed together, tugging the blankets more over yourself and listening to his soft grunts of complaints.

Teaching you to cook and not getting upset when you continuously burnt eggs, smiling at you when he’d get home from a long shift and you’d already be there cleaning up the dishes and counters. It was your favorite place to be and he was your favorite person to see and your heart broke thinking that he’d been having a hard time.

“You still don’t get it.” He was shaking his head and pulling you out of your thoughts, figure slightly wavy through your teary eyes and you took another step closer.

“I think I do Jay but how can I if you’ve never said it.” You were telling him softly but your voice was cracking around the words, at least relieved he wasn’t backing up from your approaching frame anymore considering that would’ve caused you to break down.

“How could I say something like that?” He was asking sincerely and he looked down at you finally, holding your gaze and giving you a tiny sad smile. His eyes were wet too and you briefly thought about the fact you hadn’t seen him cry in a very long time.

It was quiet for a few seconds and then you were gently reaching out to him, feeling a wave of relief when he allowed you to hold onto his arm softly and squeeze it. He let out a small shaky breath at the feeling of you touching him and it gave you the drive you needed to be able to say what you were thinking about so heavily for so long.

“You asked me why I don’t like it when you talk to other girls and I said I don’t know, but I do know and I have known for a long time.” You were watching him intensely as you spoke clearly, a faux confidence in your voice that didn’t match the way your heart was beating painfully in your chest. “I don’t really know when I knew or if I maybe just realized when you kissed me.”

His eyes were flashing with something and you laughed softly as nerves overwhelmed you, pausing in your rambles and you were sure he could feel the way your hands were shaking against him because he was placing one of his over yours that were gripping onto his arm, softly rubbing them and giving you just enough strength to push through the hardest part.

“I’m inlove with you Jay and I want you around me for a long time. I need you around me I think and it’s scary but I’d spend the rest of our lives in that tiny little apartment.” You were finishing off as a small sob broke through you but you kept a smile on your face, watching him and shaking your head softly.

He wasn’t saying anything at first and you were feeling a sudden sense of dread, not really thinking about what would happen if he didn’t feel the same way about you and you had gotten it all wrong.

You weren’t able to hold that doubt for long considering he was moving his hand off of yours suddenly to cup your face, pulling you in for a kiss before you were even able to register his movements. You were gasping against him and then immediately turning to putty in his hold, a wave of warmth and reassurance washing over you despite the fact he hadn’t said it yet back.

It wasn’t something he necessarily needed to voice considering he’d spent your entire lives showing it and taking care of you more than anybody ever had, constantly being so gentle and reliable even when you weren’t always the easiest person to handle.

You still felt better when he was pulling out of the kiss to look down at you, still holding onto your face as you both laughed softly in disbelief and relief. He was leaning forward to place his forehead against yours and you were clutching onto his arms desperately despite knowing he’d never go anywhere if you let him go.

“I think I’ve loved you since I met you.” He was saying it in one breath and you immediately noticed the way his shoulders lost all tension in relief, speaking the words that had been running through his mind on loop every time you smiled at him or wrapped your arms casually around him in a hug.

You had no real way of knowing how insane you constantly made him feel, always being the most beautiful person in the room and never giving him the slightest chance of caring about anybody else. You’d constantly complain to him that he needed a better social life for a chance at romance and his heart would turn uncomfortably at the thought of being with anybody but you.

Nobody set his skin on fire like your touches did and the two of you moved perfectly in sync together, easily bantering and moving around each other in a gentle dance that only came with time and understanding.

You were his better half and he’d always casually introduced you as that, laughing softly as you would hit his arm and scold him for trying to flatter you while not having the slightest idea that he meant every single word of it.

“Take me home then?” You were whispering out finally, forehead still against his and feeling the way his thumbs came up instinctively to wipe the tears off your red cheeks.

He was smiling and nodding at you, no hesitance in accepting whatever request you made to him, the same thing that had gotten you into this situation in the first place. He’d immediately regretted it when he first finally kissed you because he’d realized he’d never be able to go without you that close again, feeling sick every time he remembered it wasn’t real for you.

The worry and disbelief that had been building up was finally crumbling down for both of you as you stood there holding each other for a bit longer, eventually taking your hand in his as he lead you to his car and took you back to your home.

[minarisplaything]

What You're Missing (Part 1) ft. Huh Yunjin

Prompt:  you are dating kazuha, who is lovely, but has been putting off having sex until marriage. enter her step-sister yunjin who offers you a taste of what you've been missing word count: 1.6k pairing: huh yunjin x male reader, nakamura kazuha x male reader warnings: cheating

"oh fuck zuha..."

  the sound of your moaned praise mixed with the vulgar sound that was already filling the room. the sound in question was that of your girlfriend, kazuha nakamura, bobbing her head up and down as she deep-throated your cock.

  your hand rested on the back of her head, fingers tangled in her dark locks. however, you continued to let her work at her own pace as opposed to taking control and fucking her throat. this was all still relatively new to her and for better or worse you were willing to go at her speed as opposed to yours.

  which, while the noble and right thing to do, was always a bit excruciating. there was an enjoyment in being the first to teach her certain things things; like telling her to pay attention to the underside of your cock or reminding her to play with your balls. it was sweet and there was value in going through these things together as a couple. you acknowledged that.

but well...

there were also times when you just wanted to get a nut off and the slow, leisure pace that kazuha worked at just wasn't cutting it. her head would bob slowly, almost tortorously on your cock. it felt good but there were times like tonight when you just wanted nothing more to be utterly spent. to have her eyes look up at you as she sucked your soul from your body. the imagery alone was enough to cause your cock to twitch in her mouth. the day she let you cum in her mouth and she swallowed it was the day you could finally die a happy man but the two of you hadn't even gotten to that point yet. for now it was only fantasy.

it was a process. despite your internal impatience you told yourself that. she'd be ready when she was ready and once she was you were sure it'd be a game changer. for now you just had to lay back and not think about it too much.

an hour later, you found yourself feeling restless. kazuha had fallen asleep peacefully next to you but your body refused to sleep. you had finished but it hadn't exactly been the euphoric release you were hoping for. as a result, you felt a desperate urge to go to the bathroom and rub one out just so you could get a goodnight's sleep. the only problem was that kazuha lived with her step-sister. honestly, you had only met her a handful of times and the idea of her hearing you or catching you defiling their bathroom was mortifiying.

so, in the end, you settled for making your way to the kitchen for a glass of water, hoping the late night trip would clear the fog of horniess that still clouded your mind. if things continued like this it might be better off if you didn't spend the night. or, at least you would be able to go to sleep less frustrated.

"can't sleep?"

"jesus!"

a sudden voice cutting through the quiet of the apartment caused you to jump, nearly dropping the glass of water in your hand. you turned around, spotting the familar face of your girlfriend's step-sister in the dimly lit kitchen. "christ, yunjin. could you not sneak up on me like that?"

she grinned and gave a slight shrug, "it's not my fault you were so lost in thought that you didn't hear me coming. i wish i could say the same."

"what do you mean by that?" you questioned.

"'oh zuha! that's it! i'm almost there'" yunjin immitated in a moaning voice, her hand touching her neck.

it was during her little performance that you gave yunjin a closer once over. she was clothed only in a pair of pajama shorts that showed off plenty of her thighs and a white tank top that left no illusion of there being any support beneath them. by the time you looked up again the smirk and knowing look in her eye told you that she had caught you staring.

"see something you like?"

"n-no!" you quickly stuttered. "and i didn't sound like that!"

"you're right. you're acting was much worse," yunjin teased.

"i...i wasn't acting," you protested.

at least not fully. but you didn't have to admit that now. though whether you admitted it or not didn't seem to matter as yunjin crossed her arms over her chest, her breast pushing out slightly. she rolled her eyes before looking back at you.

"i know what it sounds like when a man comes. when a man really orgasms. what i heard tonight was not it," there was a definite tone in her voice, "but it's cute of you to do that for zuha."

that last part almost sounded mocking. feeling more defensive than ever your brows knitted together, placing down your cup of water. "you don't know what you're talking about."

"yes. i do. and you know i do."

yunjin took a step towards you. everything from her words to her demeanor was very matter of fact. but there was something else in there too. a lustful look that gave you a sense of trepedation. a look that said she just might swallow you whole if you let her. and a quiet part of your brain argued that you just might. fuck. stop thinking about it. yet despite your best thoughts, you could feel a stirring beneath your boxers. yunjin only grinned, moving closer as you were trapped between her body and the kitchen counter.

"i've been waiting for her to come ask me for advice but she hasn't yet. that must mean she thinks that she's doing a good job. or you've been telling her she has. either way it, clearly, isn't the case or this wouldn't be so hard would it?"

the this she was referring to was your hard cock which she now had in her hand, her fingers having snaked past the waistband of your boxers with ease. slowly she began to stroke your length, all while not breaking eye contact for a second. against your better judgement your cock twitched in her grasp. no matter how much the logical part of your brain yelled for you to pull up your boxers and run; the basic instinct in you couldn't help but note how good it felt.

"yunjin..."

"how long has it been since you've properly fucked something, huh?" she said, her tone getting more confident as she pumped your cock faster. "don't try to deny it, i know she's saving herself for marriage."

"t-there's nothing wrong with that," you managed to croak out in a low voice.

"of course there's not," yunjin laughed. "but where does that leave you?"

yunjin leaned closer, her voice coming out in a low whisper as her breath brushed against your ear, "when was the last time you felt a pussy squeezing around your cock?"

"oh, fuck."

your hips bucked, thrusting your cock into her grasp as she nibbled on your earlobe. it seemed like a simple enough gesture but the combination of yunjin pumping your cock; her body pressed flush against yours. and her mouth sucking on your earlobe turned out to be a heavenly combination. you tried to absolve yourself of responsibility, saying your body was just reacting this way because of how backed up you were. in reality, though, there was no denying that yunjin knew exactly what she was doing and it made a huge difference in the result.

"are you going to cum already?" yunjin taunted, your shaft throbbing in anticipation, "it took you twice as long as this to cum with zuha and she was using her mouth. tsk. you really need to send her to me for tips. i'll make sure she lets you cum in her mouth."

that particular comment sent your mind on a spiral. you imagined looking down and seeing zuha's lips wrapped around your cock as she vigorously bobbed her head back and forth on your cock. kneeling next to her was yunjin, holding kazuha's hair back and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. a mixture of instructions and vulgarities no doubt. as the image in your mind switched to yunjin sucking on your scrotum while zuha edged you towards orgasm, your grip tightened on the kitchen counter. your cock began to twitch, feeling completely different from what had happened earlier that night. when it finally hit your vision went white, a release like you hadn't had in some time washing over you.

"fuck!!"

your exclamation was louder than you intended but in that moment you didn't care. all you knew was pleasure and for a moment, your mind was blank.

as you opened your eyes and looked down you saw not the fantasy from your mind, but merely yunjin on her knees and wiping at the corner of her mouth. you had gotten someone to swallow your cum this night after all. just not nearly in the way you had imagined.

"holy shit..." you muttered.

"you came like a broken faucet" she commented, an amused tone in her voice. "my sister had you that backed up? that doesn't seem healthy."

you were speechless, not even able to muster a defense of your girlfriend. you were pretty sure if you let go of the counter your knees would give out at that point. yunjin, unphased, rose to her feet and patted you on the cheek softly.

"when you're ready to remember what pussy feels like, you know where to find me."

with that offer she turned on her heel and made her way out of the kitchen, presumably to bed. leaving you alone to ponder what the hell had just happened.

[writeforfandoms]

Warrior Song 9

Find the series masterlist

In which we learn that old adages still hold true. Or, medic is a terrible patient. Fortunately, she has good friends to help her. 

Warnings: mention of blood, mention of injury, swearing, Spartan cuddles. 

Word count: 2.8k

The next 48 hours proved to you and everyone around you that those old stories about medics being awful patients were all true. 

You scowled up at John, impatient with your own limits and frustrated with the sheer lack of anything to do. “I’ll keep off my leg,” you promised.

“No.”

“Just let me go sit and snark with the team! That won’t impact my healing at all.” 

“No.” 

“John–” You sucked in a breath when he sank to his knees next to your bed, putting you two closer to the same height. 

“You need to rest.” He frowned ever so slightly at you. “The team is not restful.” 

Well. You couldn’t actually argue that, much as you wanted to. “John. I’m losing my mind.” 

“No. You’re just bored.” He moved slowly, one hand cupping your cheek, his other covering one of yours. “You’ll be fine.”

You blew out a breath but nodded, a little grudgingly. “I could be better,” you muttered, half-hopeful. 

His lips twitched minutely. “If there’s something else you want…” He trailed off, almost teasingly. 

“Kiss me?” You tipped your head a little, watching him to make sure you hadn’t overstepped. 

Instead he complied, leaning in the rest of the way to kiss you, gently at first but with slowly building heat between you. For someone who you would bet had very little experience kissing, he sure learned fast. It took almost no time for you to reach up, scratching lightly at his stubble. The soft noise he made against your lips was entirely worth it.

Eventually, though, he pulled back. Far too soon for your liking, and possibly his, based on the way his gaze dipped down to your lips. 

“You are trouble,” he rumbled, though the way his fingers brushed over your cheek belied his words. “I have things I need to do. I’ll come back at dinner.” 

You pouted. “Since you can’t stay, can Joy share whatever information you’ve gathered with me? Maybe a fresh set of eyes will help.”

John hesitated, thinking it through. You gave him time - pushing wouldn’t help, not with him. Not with this. Then he nodded. “Behave,” he murmured, almost teasingly. And he was gone. 

You gave yourself a minute to just grin stupidly at your own hands, which were still tingling a little. And your lips. And… other parts of you.

Then you picked up your tablet. “Okay, Joy. Let’s go over everything from the top.”

“From the top?” She sounded faintly confused, shimmering blue hologram peering up at you from the tablet. 

“From the beginning, basically. We’re going to go over everything.” You smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know that I’ll have anything useful to contribute, but it’ll keep me in bed.” 

Joy grinned at you and started, as requested, from the beginning. You were not at all surprised that she had more information than Fernando did, as well as a deeper understanding of the Halo itself. 

“So this Harbinger knew what was on this Halo,” you murmured, tapping your fingers against your good thigh. “And she was looking for them, too.” 

“Right.” Joy shrugged. “We never found whatever she was looking for, though.” 

“The Endless.” You tipped your head back, frowning up at the ceiling. “The way she talked about them is… It sounds like the Forerunners were scared of them. They locked the Endless away, but why? What did they do that was so bad?” You huffed out a breath. 

“That’s what I’ve been wondering, too!” Joy perked up at having someone share her curiosity. 

“Unfortunately, I doubt we’ll get any answers without finding these people first,” you grumbled. “And that sounds like a bad idea, honestly.” 

Joy sighed. “You’re probably right. Despondent Pyre tried to tell us more, but…” 

“Right.” You hummed a little. “But we know that the Harbinger wanted to get to the, uh, what was it called?”

“Silent Auditorium,” Joy provided helpfully.

“Yes, that. But we don’t know exactly where that is.”

“Right.”

“And at this point we just have to assume that nobody else is trying to release the Endless.”

“Also right!”

You sighed. “No wonder command wants answers,” you grumbled. “Do you think there’s actually enough information in the Halo to help you find all of this?” 

“Probably. Somewhere.” Joy shrugged.

“Well. No pressure, then.” You snorted quietly. 

“Something like that.”

You jumped and then swore when your thigh pulled tight with the motion. John was next to you a moment later, moving your tablet to the side. 

“I apologize,” he murmured, one hand landing on your knee. 

“It’s fine.” You breathed slowly, willing the ache to go away. “Just didn’t hear you coming.” 

“Let me see.” John pushed up the hem of the loose shorts you were wearing until he could examine the bandages for himself. There was no blood, fortunately. (Yesterday he’d very calmly freaked out when he discovered you nearly bled through a gauze pad because you tried stretching out your leg.) 

“I���m fine,” you told him, warmly exasperated. “No need to fuss.” 

He gave you a look that very clearly disagreed with that statement, but he smoothed your shorts back into place anyway. “Are you hungry?” 

You shrugged. You’d been too busy to think about food, and your appetite had been… finicky while you were stuck in bed. “I could eat,” you hedged. 

“Fernando is bringing food.” 

“Oh so you finally decided I’m well enough for some company?” You smiled at him to take the sting out of your words, putting a hand over his.

“I was overruled.” The words were completely deadpan, but you could see the humor in his eyes. 

“Ah, he finally staged a rebellion.” You nodded wisely, fighting to keep your expression neutral. “Good man.” 

John huffed his soft laugh, fingers tickling your thigh just under the hem of your shorts. “Behave.”

You squeaked and batted at his hand, but it was too late. He’d already noted your reaction. “Don’t you dare,” you threatened, pointing a finger sternly at him. 

“Hm.” He left you guessing for a few moments before he carefully eased his hand back. “Not until you’re healed.” 

A knock on the door interrupted things from devolving any further, and Fernando stepped inside carrying three trays carefully balanced in his arms. 

“A little help, big guy?” he asked, stepping forward carefully. John stood to take two of the trays from him, and Fernando heaved an exaggerated sigh of relief. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” You shrugged, taking your tray from John and carefully settling it across your lap. “Still going stir-crazy, but less so since Joy and I talked.” 

“When are you going back to medical?” Fernando snagged the chair before John could, sitting at the little table. 

“Tomorrow.” You huffed out a breath and pushed your food around. “I’m not sure if they’ll clear me to go yet.” You swallowed around the lump in your throat, the weight of words you couldn’t say lodging there for a moment. You should go without me. You need to keep working on this, before something else happens. It’s not worth waiting for me.

Fernando waved a hand. “Not everybody heals like these guys,” he said, nodding to Chief. “Not a bad thing. He’s too quick to throw himself off things.”

“Off things?” you repeated, raising your eyebrows. A quick glance at John showed him eating mechanically, refusing to rise to the teasing. 

“Oh yeah. Called me for an extraction once and just threw himself off the tower. Had to catch him in the back of the Pelican.” 

“Seriously?” You looked at John, incredulous.

He shrugged. “It was falling apart.” 

You shook your head, snorting. “Well. I guess that’s one way to evac.” 

Fernando smirked, mischievous and amused. “We could always find something to throw you off of,” he teased.

“I can still go find more cuddle pollen,” you threatened. “Don’t think I won’t.” 

“That was an experience,” Fred said from the doorway. “Definitely worked on Chief.”

John shot the other Spartan a quelling look, but Fred merely smirked and found an open space on the floor to sit. Kelly and Linda followed him in, leaving your room absolutely crowded. Linda ended up perched cross-legged on the end of your bed. 

“What, are we having a sleepover party?” you asked, grinning. “I can probably find a good movie, but I’m afraid I’m fresh out of nail polish and gossip rags.” 

“I’m not explaining why we’re hauling blankets in here,” Fernando immediately said. “One of you can do it.” 

“Dinner first.” Linda gently jostled your foot on your uninjured leg. 

“Yes ma’am.” You rolled your eyes but obediently started eating. You almost missed Fernando snickering and nudging John with his foot. Almost. But you didn’t press for now, just watching with a smile as everyone relaxed and ate their dinners. 

You’d been joking with the sleepover comment, but Linda and Kelly gathered up all the empty trays and left, while Fred and Fernando (mostly Fred) moved the table and chair to make a tiny bit more room on the floor. John only moved to gently nudge you a little further up and then sit behind you on the bed. Confused but more than willing to roll with it, you leaned back into his warmth. 

It didn’t take long for Kelly and Linda to return with arms full of blankets and pillows. Linda just threw her whole armful at Fred, and for a moment you wondered if your room was about to become a warzone. But John cleared his throat, rather pointedly, and they settled down. 

“So, what’re we watching?” Fernando eyed the Spartans for a moment before he shrugged and sprawled across the floor, taking up as much room as physically possible. 

“I’m torn between a terrible old sci-fi movie and a terrible old romcom,” you drawled, subtly snuggling back into John. One of his hands landed on your hip, warm and comforting. 

“Is the terrible old sci-fi something I can laugh at?” Kelly asked, shoving one of Fernando’s legs out of her way. 

“Sure, go for it.” 

“Then we’re watching sci-fi.”

“Kelly, you are the only person here who has not been in charge of Blue Team,” Fred grumbled, casually manhandling Fernando into behaving like a normal person and sitting up with the others. 

“Guess I’m in charge tonight.” Kelly shrugged, looking pleased with herself. 

You ignored the minor squabble breaking out on the floor to take your tablet, picking an old sci-fi movie you knew Kelly would have fun making fun of. It took a bit of doing, but you got it projecting up where everyone could see it. 

You paid attention to the movie… for about the first five minutes. Then John tucked his nose behind your ear, nuzzling gently against your skin, and you were lost. A gentle kiss pressed to the skin there made you melt, eyes closing in near-bliss. 

And, really, you were warm and comfortable, with the familiar sounds of the movie in the background. The gentle kisses were soothing more than anything, the weight of John’s hands reassuring. 

What else could you do but fall asleep?

You woke over-warm to a very full room. Fred, Linda, Kelly, and Fernando were all sleeping on the floor, and you were still reclining against John… who had fallen asleep sitting up against the wall to keep you comfortable. 

Your heart absolutely melted and you very carefully started to wiggle your way out of his arms. 

“Where are you going?” His voice was extra rumbly first thing in the morning, and his arms tightened around you, just a little. 

“Bathroom,” you muttered, patting one of his hands. 

He grunted softly but helped you stand, holding out one arm to help you hold steady while he stood. 

“I’ll try walking on it,” you murmured. “Just. Carefully.”

John nodded but still boosted you over the pile of snoozing bodies on the floor so you wouldn’t have to navigate that on your own. Which, admittedly, was probably a good idea.

But you were able to do a hop-shuffle down to the bathroom and back, which you counted as a win. And very definite progress.

“When are you going down to medical?” John asked as he helped you back to bed. 

You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. “Any time, I suppose,” you grumbled. “Doesn’t matter too much.” 

John nodded, giving you a few moments to get situated again. “I’ll go with you.”

That earned him a smile. “Thank you.” 

Fernando groaned from the floor. “Too early for this,” he grumbled, even as he pushed himself upright. 

“You are in my room,” you pointed out mildly. 

“Shared property now,” he grunted back. “Think they still have coffee?” 

“Probably.” You grinned at the way he perked up almost immediately. “Go on, go get some. Shoo.”

Fernando gave you a mock salute while the other three Spartans got up, and all of them trooped out together. Too cute. You tried to hide your grin, probably unsuccessfully. You couldn’t help it - all of these people had made room for themselves in your heart. 

“John?” 

He blinked at you, one hand resting on your knee. 

“Don’t delay the mission for me.” You swallowed hard. 

“I’m not.” He squeezed your knee gently. “We’re still assessing the best way to proceed.” 

You eyed him for a moment, worried he was stretching things. But he met your gaze steadily, so you nodded. 

“Okay. Good.” You let out a slow breath, battling back the low-key anxiety. 

“Ready to go?” John asked quietly, watching you closely.

“As I’ll ever be,” you agreed with forced cheer. “Let’s get this over with.”

John nodded and helped you to medbay, making sure you didn’t injure yourself further. But the biofoam had done its job, as far as you could tell. 

At least, your thigh hurt less than it had after you’d gotten shot, so you were figuring that was a good sign. 

Of course, that didn’t stop the chief medical officer from scowling at you when you came limping in, using John as a crutch. 

“Sit, in there.” She pointed down the hall to a room, and you wrinkled your nose at her tone but obeyed. John stayed quiet and out of the way as you got settled. 

It took no time to get the bandages off, and you breathed a sigh of relief to see almost no blood on them. The wound was still tender but it was healing fast. One of the benefits of biofoam - it helped to get tissue rebuilding faster than it would on its own. 

“Well, you’re in luck,” she told you, sounding only a little sour. “Looks like you’re healing well. Keep weight off of it for another couple days if you can, and you’ll be fine.” She stripped her gloves off and tossed them. “You know where we are if you need more help.”

You clenched your jaw at the subtle dig but managed to not respond, instead focusing on getting to your feet. Well. Foot. You happened to agree with the assessment of keeping weight off of your leg for a little longer if you could. More time to heal could only be a good thing in this case. 

Wordlessly, John offered you his arm again, and you squeezed his forearm gently in thanks. 

“That was about as close to an all clear as I’ll get from her,” you said, walking carefully back towards your room. “I was planning to keep off my leg as much as possible anyway, at least until it’s more healed.”

John nodded, looking thoughtful. Something about that look caused you some concern. 

“You know, if you were happening to be thinking anything along the lines of leaving me behind because this is dangerous…” You let your words trail off into a vaguely threatening silence. 

He huffed softly. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmured, dry as dust.

“Good.” You nodded your satisfaction, tightening your grip on his arm as you very nearly tripped over some bits of rubble. “Because otherwise I’d have to figure out how to kick your ass with one working leg.” 

He huffed again and wordlessly scooped you up into his arms. Ignoring your soft swearing, he carried you the rest of the way to your room. 

“Joy will update you after today’s meeting,” he promised. His lips twitched, gaze warm as he lowered you into bed. “Behave.” 

A quick kiss and he was gone, striding out of your room again like a man on a mission. And, well, he kind of was. He kind of always was. Or. Almost always. 

Maybe you could get him to relax more, give him more nights like last night. Some times where the mission wasn’t the only thing on his mind.

[etherealfishyfeelings]

Synastry Notes: Ascendant 1

These are essentially just my personal experiences with certain synastry aspects. Basically a rant lol.

Venus Conjunct Ascendant: honestly, I have a big love/hate relationship with this aspect as I have Venus square Ascendant as the tightest aspect in my own natal chart so when I'm the Venus person I become so envious and enchanted by the Ascendant person that it's almost suffocating. The more I look at them the less I want to be myself but I am also incredibly attracted to them in an almost poetic way. It really highlights my sense of disharmony with my own Ascendant and so usually being around the Ascendant person is quite uncomfortable regardless of the depth of my attraction to them. I usually love getting to know more about them past their Ascendant though, and regardless of what's underneath, my sense of enchantment with them doesn't really tend to fade at all over time. On the other hand, when I'm the Ascendant person, the Venus person usually doesn't make a lot of sense to me as their style of relating(aka venus) is directly clashing with my own style of relating to others. I think it only becomes more awkward when the Venus person almost seems perplexed by the switch ups that I tend to do in social situations(that I really do not want highlighted because I already feel horribly socially inadequate as it is lol) and so generally what starts out as a very enthusiastic friendship eventually turns into a lot of mixed signals and just a lot of the Venus person having absolutely no idea what to expect from me most of the time. I also tend to become a little wary of them due to how much they tend to highlight my social awkwardness and lack of consistency. (My Venus is in the 10th in Cap, directly conjunct my MC and directly squaring my Aries AC)

Mars in the 7th house/Mars opposite AC: this placement tends to end up being a little insane in my case due to my natal Venus square Ascendant so this placement usually means that their Mars is squaring my Venus too and honestly it's just too much. I tend to attract A LOT of Libra mars men(like most of the men that have chased me like their lives depended on it had their Mars in Libra, well, as much as Libra tends to chase) and initially its always fairly sweet but within the first couple of conversations it usually gets really ugly. Lots of jealousy and very sexually suggestive, impatient too and the longer we remained in contact without any romantic contact the more frustrated they seem to get and the more aggressive(not in a really bad sort of way) their hints tended to get. And because its Libra they're never really direct with it, mostly creating lots of very obviously intended scenarios that would allow me to take the lead but my Cap Venus needs a lot of time before I'll be willing to do that but my Aries AC suggests that I'm more of an impulsive go getter so they seem to expect me to be more forward than I actually am around romance. They seem very perplexed and frustrated that when it comes to romance and sex I'm very picky and take a really long time to warm up to the idea of being with someone even in a friendship sense. However, when I'm the Mars person(I have Mars in Pisces) I generally tend to be pretty attracted to the Ascendant person in a very pleasant way. I usually find them very beautiful and have a very strong urge to seek out their company. I also find that I tend to think of them as being quite talented, but I feel that might also be due to their AC trining my Venus.

[slimthicksonnett]

89 with Lucy Bronze

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!” // Lucy Bronze (1,000 words)

“Y/NN, truth or dare.”

Truthfully, Y/N wasn’t sure how she ended up here. Though, she probably should’ve expected that this is what having girls' night with the kids would result in. 

“Dare. But please do remember that I am in a happy, committed relationship with a woman that two of you have to play against in less than a month so I suggest you don’t piss her off.” You answered, pointing between Sanchez and Rodman who suddenly went wide eyed.

When the United Spirits were all together, it was easy to lose track of international allegiances. You were just Y/N and Lucy was just your silly girlfriend who sometimes sent little gifts to the girls. But with the England game rapidly approaching, there was the looming reminder that you were also the Y/N and Lucy England’s lethal outsideback duo. 

“Fine, let's make her happy then. We dare you to send a picture to Lucy.” Trinity grinned, looking pleased with herself. Meanwhile you cocked your head to the side in confusion.

“A picture? That’s it?” You questioned, staring at the younger girls skeptically. 

“Not just a picture, a picture picture.” Ashley elaborated, emphasizing the word significantly.

“You know you’re allowed to say a nude, yes?” You laughed, watching every one of the younger players in the room squirm uncomfortably. It was a funny sight honestly considering the conversations these girls normally had. You had heard more conversations about nail lengths and bruise covering techniques since you’d been hanging around the younger Spirit players than you think you’d heard since the World Cup.

Pulling out your phone, you leaned back so the screen wasn’t in the direct view of everyone in your living room. Carefully, you put in a few passwords and unlocked your private folder. After a few moments of consideration between two sets, you made your selection and pressed send without any other context.

Some small part of you was aware that while it was a late night for you, it was well into the next day for Lucy. If you knew her schedule as well as you thought you did, she was probably already up for morning training at this point. 

“Alright, done.” Setting your phone back down, you picked up your drink and looked up at the surprised faces of your teammates. 

“You’re done? You jus- you just had something on your phone ready to send?” Anna asked, befuddled by this concept as your head fell back in laughter.

“Love, my girlfriend lives over 4,000 miles away. Of course I have nudes saved in my phone.” The answer was casual and made the room dissolved into chaos. A combination of gagging and wolf whistles filled the space while you just sipped your wine innocently.  

–

You had just finished ushering all the young Spirits out and back down the hall to their own apartments when your phone rang.

“Hello?” Your voice was raspy and soft, an effect of both the wine and the late hour.

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!” Lucy’s voice came loudly through the phone, forcing you to remove the device from your ear and blink in surprise at the loud sound.

“What happened to hello, how are you…” You quoted, fighting back a tired laugh at the sound of her frustrated exhalation.

“Right. That was rude of me. Hello babe, how are you? And also, why are you sending me naked photos while I’m in a work meeting?” There was an air of impatience in her tone, and you could feel the other woman rolling her eyes at you over the phone.

“Oh, hi baby! I’m so good. I just finished a night in with the girls! It was so much fun, they always make me feel young again. Do you remember when we were their age?”

You were being coy. You very much know Lucy remembers playing with you as a young Lioness and everything you got up to together. 

“So, you sent me that while you were with the children?” Lucy responded, skillfully avoiding your question in a way that made you laugh. 

“I’m sorry, do you not want to hear about how the future of the US women's national team picked my set out for me?” You teased, knowing full and well that the picture you had sent her had been from days ago when the lingerie you’d ordered specifically for that purpose had finally come in. 

“Y/N!” Your girlfriend scolded, making you laugh loudly. 

“I’m only kidding.” Still laughing, you threw the phone on speaker and started preparing yourself for bed. 

“You’re such a shit.” Lucy muttered, earning a playful hum in response.

“Yes but you love it, just like you loved my picture. Soooooo I don’t see why it sounds like you’re complaining?” You continued to tease, enjoying the groan that came from the other side of the line.

“I opened that during film! Anyone could’ve seen that. Hell, I think Frido did!” Lucy hissed, making your eyes shoot up at the admission at the end.

“Fridolina, hm?” You mused, pausing momentarily in thought of the blonde woman.

“Y/N Y/LN!” Lucy shouted this time, sending you into another fit of laughter as you grabbed your phone and slipped into bed.

“Only teasing, only teasing! Besides, who cares? It’s not like the majority of them haven’t seen naked women before. Hell, they’ve probably even seen me in less than that!” And it was the truth. 

After the World Cup, Sports Illustrated had reached out to you about doing the Body Issue. You were in the peak form of your career and your body had never looked better, why would you say no? So, it wasn’t like there weren’t a plethora of tastefully nude photographs of you in public media.

“Those were meant to be seen, this wasn’t. And they can see all the naked women they want, but not mine.” Lucy answered, voice gruffer than it had been previously.

“Someone sounds jealous.” Your voice singsongy and teasing.

“I prefer protective.” Lucy firedback, and you couldn’t help but agree.

Lucy Bronze was nothing if not the most protective (and passionate) person you’d ever met.

[jenanigans1207]

Hi, please accept me being weak and sharing even more of this fic that I'm working on because I'm too impatient to hold onto this until the fic is done.

For context, the whole point of the fic is that Dean gets hit with a curse that forces him to tell the truth if asked a question.

(enjoy the angst of me projecting onto Dean Winchester!)

----

“You don’t get it.” Dean grinds out, all frustration and sharp edges, words cutting his own throat as much as they’re cutting Cas.

“Dean—”

“Ask me.” Dean says, throwing his arms out to the side. “I can’t fucking lie so ask me.”

Cas stares at him for a long moment and it’s not hard for Dean to read the expressions on his face. Up until this point, Cas had been very carefully and delicately choosing his words every time he spoke to Dean, careful to not accidentally phrase something in a way that would come across as a question. He has been diligent in his attempt to respect Dean’s privacy and Dean’s wishes, steadfast in his belief that Dean should not be forced to tell them things, but should only volunteer things willingly. Even though Sam had been practically chomping at the bit to finally get Dean to talk about his feelings.

But Dean was giving Cas permission to ask, to force the curse to bring the words to the surface. This was about as willing as Dean got when it came to feelings and Dean could see the exact moment that Cas accepted the permission he was being granted. 

“Why do you always push me away?” Cas asks after a moment, his voice quiet, like he’s afraid of receiving the answer as much as he’s afraid of what delivering the answer will do to Dean.

But Dean doesn’t need the curse to bring up the answer. At this point, everything is such a fucking disaster that Dean’s willing to answer that honestly all on his own.

“It’s easier.” He says, and he notices the way Cas steels himself for whatever else Dean is about to say, as if he’s prepared for repeated blows to the heart. “If you leave because I push you away— because I’m a short-tempered asshole who crosses the line and says shit he doesn’t mean, I can live with that. Because that— that’s my fault, Cas. And at that point, just add it to the list, you know? Everything is my fault— Sam being back in the life, everything that’s happened to him, everything that’s happened to you, the fucking end of the world was my fault! So yeah, if you leave because I pushed and pushed and pushed until you couldn’t bear it anymore, I’ll just add it to the list of reasons I hate myself and cope with it the same way I cope with all the other reasons— too much alcohol and even more denial.”

Cas’s lips part, clearly surprised by the answer he’s getting. “That’s—”

But Dean isn’t done. “I’ve spent my entire life hating everything about myself, Cas. And yeah, I’m not sure I ever hate myself more than I do when I hurt you that— that is a new low, even for me, but it’s still in the realm of things I understand. But if— Cas, If you—” Dean’s throat is so fucking tight that it hurts and the words almost can’t get out. He clenches his jaw, swallows, and decides to put himself out of his fucking misery. “If I asked you to stay… If I told you how badly I always want you there, how nothing is ever right when you’re gone, how I never want you to leave and you— and you left anyway? If I told you the truth and you still chose to leave despite that? Cas, that would kill me. It really would.” Dean can’t look Cas in the eye now that the words are out in the open. “So instead, I push. If you’re going to leave no matter what, at least I can blame myself for it. It at least makes it a little easier to breathe in those lonely moments. Gives me something to do, too, you know? Instead of missing you every second of the day, I spend at least a few of them kicking my own ass for what I’ve done and continue doing to you.”

There’s a long, tense silence that follows the words and Dean honestly doesn’t know how he expects Cas to react.

“And you—” Cas’s voice is as strained as Dean’s had been and Dean glances up at him briefly, unsurprised to find the pain reflected in his face. It’s not like Dean’s unaccustomed to hurting Cas, he shouldn’t be surprised that even his honesty manages to do it. “You think that I would leave either way? You think that I— I want to go? That I would choose to go even if you didn’t push me away?”

It’s several questions all jumbled together, but it doesn’t really matter because they all have the same answer anyway. “Yes.”

Dean had hurt Cas a lot of times in the past, he knew that. He wouldn’t say he’d come to terms with it, wouldn’t say that each and every time he had said something intentionally harsh, cruel, or uncalled for wasn’t tied for number one on his list of reasons he hated himself more than any other creature on earth. But still, he knew that he had done it and he often replayed it in his head, hurting himself with the memory of hurting Cas. But despite that, nothing prepares him for the way Cas’s face crumples at his answer, for the way he looks more dejected, more hopeless Dean has ever seen him. Suddenly every other time Dean has hurt Cas barely even makes the list of reasons he hates himself because this— this just took every spot in the top one hundred.

Dean doesn’t think he’ll ever get the image of Cas’s broken, faithless expression out of his mind.

Dean almost expects Cas to try and school his expression into something a little more neutral, something to disguise the hurt in his eyes. He usually does, just to spare Dean the pain— or maybe Cas thinks it’s the satisfaction— of knowing that he’d landed another winning blow. But Cas doesn’t do anything to cover up the agony in his expression, doesn’t even attempt to pretend that he’s not breaking to pieces right before Dean’s very eyes.

Dean fucking Winchester, the man cursed to save the world that does not love him and to break the only actually precious thing he’s ever been given.

“Why?” Cas finally chokes out. “Why would you think that?”

Dean answers his question with a question, “Why would you stay?” Cas stares at him with eyes that are impossibly blue and unfathomably sad. For someone who knows only disappointment, Dean’s surprised to find that it hurts so much to find it reflected in Cas’s eyes. “I’m not— I’m not a fucking joy to be around, Cas. I’m not shining sunshine out of my ass, I’m not Mary freaking Poppins. I’m an asshole— clearly— and I… Jesus Christ, I’m a fucking disaster, a basket case. There’s more wrong with me than there is right. Me constantly pushing you away is an example of that!”

“Dean, if you’d let me, I would—”

“Let you?” Dean repeats, somehow incredulous despite the absolute trainwreck of a situation. “Let you? Cas, I may push you away, but I don’t physically shove you out the door. And I’ve never once locked it behind you, never once stopped you from coming back. You get that, right? I may push and push and push but you? Cas you leave.”

Somehow this is getting worse by the second and if Dean weren’t so unbearably miserable, he’d be impressed that he’s managing to fuck everything up further with every word that comes out of his mouth. Looking at Cas now, he’s honestly not sure which one of them hates the situation they’re in more, which one of them feels worse. Cas looks like he’s about to collapse in on himself, like the only thing he’d ever been fighting for just gave up and surrendered the battle. He looked like his entire purpose had just been ripped away from him. 

“I don’t ever want to leave, Dean.” Cas says brokenly. 

“Then why do you?” Dean asks, just as broken, just as quiet, just as desolate. And when Cas doesn’t immediately answer, biting back a reply that he clearly knows, Dean laughs, bitter and humorless. “Right, ‘course. Forgot, I’m the only one who has to be honest, here. Fucking fantastic, Cas, that’s just great.”

Cas takes a tentative step forward. “Dean—”

Dean has always hated how much he loves the way Cas says his name. Cas, a former Angel of the Lord said Dean’s name reverently, like a prayer, like it carried some sort of holy meaning or importance. Cas said his name like it was a blessing to be able to speak it at all, like it was the only name he ever wanted to say again. 

And Dean can’t take that right now, can’t let Cas say his name like that while refusing to meet him in the middle on this. “No, just—” He’s breaking, he’s breaking, he’s been broken for so many goddamn years at this point and yet somehow he’s still breaking. “You— you were supposed to fight, you asshole. You were supposed to come back and see that the door was still open. You were supposed to— to try. And you never did— do. You never do. So I keep pushing and you keep leaving and it’s easier for me to blame myself than it is for me to blame you but god, Cas, it doesn’t matter whose fucking fault it is because it hurts every time you go.”

Dean doesn’t know if angels cry. But if they do, he’s certain that Cas would. If there were only ever one angel in all of history that cried, Dean would know with absolute certainty that it was Cas. And Cas isn’t even an angel anymore, technically. He’s just a stupid human with stupid human emotions and the even stupider human inability to deal with them. But he looks like he might cry, like he might prove to Dean to that all of his celestial holiness was just a rouse and that he’s always been harboring this deep seated sadness underneath. 

“I—” Cas starts to say, but whatever response he had is lost to the sound of Sam opening the door finally.

“Hey,” Sam says hurriedly, and there’s a smear of blood on his cheek. He stumbles into the room, the hand on the doorknob stopping him from toppling over completely. Once he makes it in the room he pauses, seeming to notice the tension that’s suffocating them. His eyebrows rise as he glances between the two of them. “You guys good?”

“No,” Dean answers immediately, the curse beating Cas to the punch. “We’re not.”

That seems to catch Sam off guard and his hand slips off the doorknob as he regards Dean. He probably wants to ask some question that would make Dean rehash this entire thing, probably wants to do something stupid and sentimental like sweep him up into a bear hug and tell Dean that everything will work out. But he seems to sense the severity of the situation, the levity of the expressions on both of their faces. He shuts his cakehole.

“No,” Cas agrees after a moment, and his voice is thick with emotions and whatever words he was forced to swallow back down when Sam barged in. “But we will be. Right, Dean?”

Even the curse doesn’t have an answer to that one, leaving his throat completely dry as he tries to swallow, letting him give whatever kind of response he wants. “Yeah.” He chokes out after a moment, not meeting the gaze of either of them. “We always are.”

[writefightandflightclub]

Bored now: (Nathan Bateman x GN!reader blurb)

Author’s note: dug out this short blurb. It’s been languishing in my drafts for a while because it felt a bit flimsy / like it didn’t go anywhere, but hey, instead of me deleting it you may as well have it! :P (And thanks to anon for requesting “anything” with Nathan, as you have caused this is to be rescued from oblivion - for better or worse, lol.)

Genre: blurb, hooking-up.

Word count: no idea because I can’t select all the text on a phone with this cursed app so what am I even to do? But it’s short.

Warnings: blood mentions / biting (warning for dub-con on the biting), no smut but some making-out, alcohol mentions. TYPOS, I can only assume.

You can see it all laid out, like a flash forward in time, as Nathan takes a swig of red wine and eyes you darkly over the brim of his glass.

You can see everything, ahead of time.

Can see all of the mind games he’s going to play with you. The manipulation. The posturing. Playing you like you’re a chess game; and eventually, getting you to break. To succumb to him.

Sounds slow. Sounds drawn out. Sounds boring.

Who’s got the time for that?

You sidle up to the painting adorning the far wall and Nathan looks smug. Everything about tonight is supposed to impress you - that much is obvious. The helicopter. The house. The bottle of ermitage cuvee cathelin that could have paid your rent for three months; until that cork was popped.

And most of all: him.

His helicopter; house; wine; brain; arms; art, and so on and so on.

Whatever.

You exhale and lean closer to the painting. Inspecting it. Allowing a deep notch to bed itself into your brow.

“What?” Nathan asks impatiently, as you fail to respond as predicted.

“Nothing,” you say casually, taking a tight swig of the wine you aren’t even enjoying. “Just figured being a billionaire and all… I mean, what? You couldn’t have sprung for a genuine Pollock?”

Nathan’s face drops, and you know then he at least places some stock in your knowledge as a dealer. The thought satisfies you. In fact, it’s the only thing which has satisfied you all evening.

“It’s a fake, Nathan. Sorry to tell you.” You let a broad smile gradually creep over your face, unmasking your jest, but you enjoy the fact that you’d reeled him, even if only for a split second.

It’s not a fake. It’s the real fucking deal. Of course it is.

Nathan “Potential Sugar Daddy” Bateman has things you can only dream of. You work with pieces like this every day, but you could never entertain the possibility of owning one. (Aside that one time some dude had tipped you with a Degas. Wasn’t really your taste though - the guy or the painting.)

“I assure you, honey. Everything in this house is genuine.”

“Right. Except for you.” You quirk an eyebrow at him, watching his beard animates as his jaw writhe beneath it.

Aww. He’s frustrated.

This isn’t going like he expected. You’re not saying what he wants you to say. Doing what he wants you to do.

But… isn’t that the point? Doesn’t Nathan Bateman favour a challenge? Maybe not, who knows. Maybe he likes things which come easy.

You’re surprised, honestly, by how rigid he is. For someone at the head of a company famed for being innovative and agile, you actually feel like you have the jump on him.

Or, maybe that is exactly how he wants you to feel right now, who knows? You don’t much care, in fact.

Nathan eyes you again, a smirk playing on his plush mouth now. God knows what has amused him. Anyway, he drains his glass in one and moves closer to you as you survey the painting. As you look at anything but him.

He nods down to your idle glass. “You don’t like the wine?”

You look at him then down at your drink, swilling the red liquid around. “It’s fine. But the fact that every mouthful is a week’s rent makes it a little hard to swallow, I guess.”

“Would you be more comfortable with some tap water?” His tone drips with sarcasm. You watch as he takes your glass from your hand, his fingers brushing yours as he grips the stem, and your stomach flips over from the contact. He’s hot, at least. That much is certainly genuine.

“Actually, yeah. Can I?”

Nathan doesn’t even try to hide the fact your inconvenient response pisses him off. Instead, he turns on his heel and waltzes out of there, pausing in the doorway and looking at you as if you’re a dumb dog who didn’t follow. “Come with,” he says impatiently, and you wonder if this wouldn’t all be easier for him with one of his rumoured robots. You’re not one for call and response, usually.

Still, in the absence of any better option, you follow him to the kitchen - checking out his ass as you go, of course -and you watch him from the other side of the island, your arms folded as he opens up the fridge to pour you a glass of the filtered stuff.

You hate to say it but… you’re bored as fuck.

You’re in a billionaire’s house and you’re fucking bored. You’ve been here four hours and you don’t know anything about the man you couldn’t have found out from reading Forbes and trawling through his Wiki. Plus, you still -very much so- have all of your clothes on. Boo.

Well, maybe there is something more you can find out about him, before the night is over.

He wants to play games?

Sounds like an awful lot of delayed gratification; which really isn’t your style.

Fuck it.

You cross the space, moving to pin his sculpted, sturdy body to the fridge, and, even as he’s still reacting, you plant a seductively slow, lingering kiss on his lips.

You pull back for a moment, tugging his lower lip between your teeth. “What do you say, Nathan?” You purr. “Wanna skip to the fun part?”

Nathan has no smart retort. In fact, he simply looks at you admonishingly from beneath his lenses. Aww. It’s kinda cute that he thinks he can intimidate you.

“What?” you chastise, sliding your palms down his warm chest, inching towards his waistband. “Are you going to say ‘no’?”

He doesn’t say no, even as you hang back for a moment, awaiting his express consent. You find it, as his mouth moves to cover yours in moments, his supple, fine-wine tongue shoving over yours. Fuck. That’s gotta be the most expensive kiss you’ve ever had. And, as his hands move down your body, grabbing up handfuls of you, you bite his lip. You bite his lip hard enough to draw beading crimson - just because you can. Just because it’s fun.

Nathan yelps, his hand coming to his mouth in shock, coating his fingers with a delicious smear of merlot red.

“Oops,” you say, unrepentantly, with a devilish smirk, and you watch as Nathan’s eyes grow entirely saturated with a deep, dark hunger.

“You’ll pay for that,” he promises, beginning to unbutton your shirt. Tearing it eagerly off of your shoulders before shoving you up against the counter.

Cute that he thinks so. But you’re pretty sure you have the upper hand here.

Still, at least you’re no longer bored.

Finally, you think as his beard grazes down the column of your throat, the wet slide of his tongue caressing the contours of you. Things are finally starting to get interesting.

[ecargmura]

Pokemon Horizons Episode 59 Review - Dance Dance Quaxvolution

We’re back after a week break! Did you miss my reviews? I missed Pokemon Horizons too, even if it was only gone for a week. It’s finally time for the Implementation Test and Dot’s leading them off with her long awaited match with everyone’s favorite Gym Leader Larry!

True to the games, going to the Gym Center made Dot and the others have to look for Larry. Since the receptionist told them that they have to find him, they’re practically on a hunt for the ordinary salaryman. Fortunately, they did manage to get a clue from this dancer lady and her Oricorio Baile Forme. The whole dancing segment was cute, honestly. However, Oricorios have been a bane for me recently as I remember how I lost to an NPC in the Indigo Disk DLC who had two Oricorios and they chained-spammed Revelation Dance with their Dancer Ability. I have to say that the dancer named Diva, according to the credits, is a very well-designed character. It feels like a waste for her to be just a regular character of the day. Her Oricorio’s dance is a key component for the match against Larry, hence why this segment was introduced before the start of the actual battle.

Like in Episode 18 and in the games, Larry is found at the Treasury Eatery, the rival of the Anything Eatery from the previous episode. I kind of like how Roy had a reverse reaction regarding Larry’s status as a Gym Leader. What I mean is that Larry was first shown as an Elite Four member in the anime which is why being a Gym Leader was a shock for him. In the games, Larry was first seen as a Gym Leader and then his reveal as an Elite Four member was supposed to be a big surprise. I also really like how the battlefield is set up! The animation was so good!

Dot seems a little impatient in this episode, but I guess it’s because she wanted to prove herself. She lost her match against Iono in the Basics portion and she won in the friendly match with Poppy, but that was all Iono’s doing and not her own. It makes sense why she’d be frustrated with herself. Unfortunately, Dot was given a huge disadvantage because both of Larry’s Pokemon, Dundunsparce and Starpator, are fully evolved while she’s the only one of the kids who has two first-stage Pokemon. The odds were clearly not in Dot’s favor as Quaxly got paralyzed due to Dundunsparce’s Glare and she used Tinkatink for the first time in an official battle and she got knocked out instantaneously. The reason why Dot seemed a little out of it in this episode even showed when she wasn’t in sync with Quaxly like she normally is. She was too focused on her strategies that she forgot to add in one important thing: Quaxly is her partner so she needs to be in sync with him. That’s how Dot decides to use everything she witnessed before and during the battle to her advantage like the steps Quaxly learned from the Oricorio from earlier, the spins that Tinkatink did when she used Brutal Swing and the wing flaps from Starpator. The realization of this important factor was the reason Quaxly evolved into Quaxwell. Though, it did suck that Quaxwell lost immediately, but it makes sense given Larry is way too strong for her and the duck was paralyzed.

Passing the Implementation Test means that the assigned Gym Leader gives a report. Though, I’m not too sure if it’s a certification or just proof that she passed the test. Anyways, Larry allowed her to pass because she fulfilled all the necessary requirements: using two Pokemon, being in sync with her Pokemon, and Terastalizing at the right time. I just hope that Dot learns to relax and trust in Quaxwell going forth. I honestly can’t wait to see what sort of energy Quaxwell will bring to the group now.

The final portion of the episode was hilarious. The chef gives the kids the special rice ball menu that was in the games, but Larry has to pay for all of it, much to his dismay. He did pay for the player’s meal in the game, but he has to spend three times more money since he’s feeding three kids and their Pokemon. Geeta, please give Larry a raise already! Speaking of food, the last segment with Dot eating with Quaxwell had me thinking of octopus sausages ever since my Discord friend mentioned how the shape of their hair look like them. I cannot unsee it now.

I guess my only gripe for this episode was the fact that Larry didn’t adjust his tie while his Tera Orb was being activated like how he did in the games. The anime had him adjusting it before getting out his orb. I really liked how he did it in the game, so I was a bit bummed out. Despite that, Staraptor being coated in the Tera Crystal was such a beautiful sight.

Now that the first of the Implementation Test has finished, what are your thoughts on the battle’s results? Were you satisfied? Angry? Please let me know!

[delucadarling]

Current rambling thoughts on dieting/weight loss, nothing that's a downer:

Back in April I got blood test results that showed my cholesterol was high and my sugar was barely shy of being diabetic. It spooked the shit out of me, as despite being fat most of my life, I was also pretty healthy and somewhat active. It was after getting covid that I was so fatigued I dropped the active thing pretty much entirely.

The doctor was more focus on the sugar, and recommended cutting back simple sugars, adding in more fiber, and increasing my weekly activity.

I'd been wanting to get back into shape for a long, long time but I've been nervous about trying the gym again. My dad was one of those shithead people that secretly films people in the gym doing things 'wrong' or committing the sin of being fat in public. It had me terrified of trying to get fit where other people could see me, because you know, most people don't want to be mocked.

Lucky me, I have the most amazing, supportive girlfriend ever. She took me by the hand and very gently showed me around the gym, helped me learn how to use the machines, and didn't mind when I shadowed her around as she did her workout. From there, I got excited! I used to LOVE working out, I just mostly did simple stuff, running, and swimming. I did a lot of WiiFit when I was younger, and this one Jillian Michael's DVD I found at Walmart for like $5 at the time. Running was the big one though (hello Zombies, Run folks).

So just making those changes (less soda, more fiber, more exercise) over the course of maybe 3ish months I dropped almost 15 lbs. I hadn't been tracking my weight, but I did compare the results the doctor took from my previous three appointments. I was kind of shocked! I've never had a healthy relationship with weight loss, and every time I've tried to lose weight it lead to a lot of heartache, misery, and doubled weight gain. So I more or less wrote off my ability to trim down and decided to just be fat and happy.

I will say though, the extra bulk has recently frustrated me. I can't do yoga the way I used to. My limbs are still flexible but I keep getting blocked by my own fat. I have to go real easy on my joints because of all the extra weight, which is frustrating, because I'd honestly love to try jogging again. I just don't want to fuck my back and knees up again.

I decided to give losing weight another try, with a lot more self-love, after a lot more research, and with the support of someone who has loved me even at my fattest and never said a word about it.

It hasn't been too hard this time. I don't feel like I'm depriving myself. I am impatient, I want to see results NOW, but obviously that's not how things work. And slow is better anyway.

I know tumblr has a generally negative view on weight loss, and I fully include myself in that. I bought into the 'starvation mode means you'll never ACTUALLY lose weight permanently) thing, I was convinced anyone trying to lose weight had the same disordered ideas on it that I used to have (and still struggle with sometimes). It's a loaded topic for a hundred reasons, so I am trying to be conscious of when I talk about it and around who. Hence the tags and putting it under a cut. I'm happy and excited to be trying this out, putting my health first, trying to feel strong and capable in my body, but I absolutely know first hand how upsetting hearing about dieting can be. Not to mention how hard it is to avoid the more toxic side of trying to change your diet and fitness.

I've found a lot of resources that are very facts based, cut and dry, and leave out the moralizing behind weight loss and weight gain and just weight in general. There are a lot of very encouraging resources as well.

So yeah! As said, this is just a ramble, I like to write to get my thoughts down, and it always comes easier when it feels like I'm talking to someone, not just myself. I probably won't post a lot about this, but it's been just over a week since I started tracking my food and daily weight specifically, which always used to be something that would send me into a bad habit spiral. This time feels different. I've been doing fine. There have been a few moments of disappointment, but they've been easy to shake off. Mostly I'm just astounded to learn more about the macros involved in the food I eat, and I'm also happy to have tools to help me find portions that make me feel full and not stuffed. On the days I've been not kept to my deficit goals, it was because I was hungry and decided it was more worth it to feed myself than stick to a number and I didn't feel a bit of guilt about it afterward.

I'm pretty pleased with how it's going so far. I feel stronger, I feel more energetic, and tracking my food intake and weight makes the part of my brain that loves a spreadsheet very happy.

[evangelineshifts]

Failed Shifting Attempt

Dude, I tried shifting literally all day. I took out time off so I had the whole day off and instead of doing it my way(doing random stuff till it feels like it’s working) I tried subliminals.

Worse mistake of my life.

I cracked, I got self conscious and worried that the reason I wasn’t shifting was because ‘I wasn’t doing it right’ since I didn’t have a method.

So I tried Reya’s subliminal(I only got to 27 minutes) and I wasn’t feeling anything that made me assume I was getting closer to my dr so I just stopped, I tried a different subliminal that was just sounds and I felt like i was getting a little close(I was trying to turn over in my dr and I could feel myself(?) getting pulled over but my physical body was ‘keeping me here’ like a coffin or smth so it felt like I was just getting ripped apart inside my body head first. I tried briefly doing my own thing but I stopped after like 2 minutes cause I was impatient.

So overall this entire day has been a fail attempt(never thought I’d say that) and now I’m kind of disappointed? After all my shifting attempts so far I’ve been relaxed, any ‘failed attempts have brushed off me like water. But today was so bad, it’s almost devastating. I feel burnt out or something, I feel like I’m out of energy. I’m never trying another shifting attempt like this again-🦭

I’m gonna try to get all the points in here but they’re not gonna necessarily be in order.

Okay abt you giving up bc you didn’t feel anything, I totally get that honestly I used to do that too but shifting can vary from attempt to attempt if I’m being honest. It can feel like a whirlwind and it can also feel like nothing at all so I’d just advise that when you feel nothing during an attempt try to ignore it cause you’re unintentionally focusing on your body/the process instead of being in your dr. Like a couple times I shifted I didn’t even realize I did until I was back in my cr, other times it felt like I was being sucked into a vortex and it would be unrealistic to try and ignore the feeling. I shifted all the same. Just this morning I shifted and I didn’t even realize. (I’ll make a separate post if anyone wants).

Subliminals work on the assumption that you think they’ll work. That’s why some subliminals work for some people and don’t for others. If they were some end all be all thing than one of those *WARNING SUPER POWERFUL SUBLIMINAL YOU WILL SHIFT IMMEDIATELY* subs would work for everyone but alas 🤷🏽‍♀️ they do not. Don’t beat yourself up too much over it. I honestly don’t even choose subliminals on how much they “work” for me anymore I just choose them on if the background will allow me to focus and relax and if the affs in the background help me out, great. They’re a tool not the machine, treat it as such.

There’s no right and wrong in shifting and honestly failure isn’t real as I’ve learned. No matter what came of your shift you gained SOMETHING from it. Whether it be more knowledge on how to go abt it next time or movement that you’ve just yet to see. Every attempt gets you closer and that’s a success in an of itself. Persist through it if it helps.

You did shift! Good job!

Morph that disappointment into something that happened during your shift maybe?

Chiron told you, you can’t go swim with your friends until your set chores were done. Gods that must be frustrating, you must really want to hangout with your friends. I get that.

You had an argument with someone and they just wouldn’t see your point and got angry with you? Shit what was it abt? Honestly I’d cry, I’m so sensitive when it comes to fights.

Don’t brush it off just maybe turn your focus towards something more progressive while still feeling those feelings. Tell yourself that you’ll deal with the upsetting issue the next time you go to your dr. Motivation and Affirmation that you’ve already shifted all in one. Yippee 🥳

But all in all, I hope you feel better Mimi ☹️ and I swear on my life I will remember to get to your asks in my inbox. I’ve been consistently sick for the longest time 😭😭 I’ve been around little kids and those bitches will cough straight into your mouth without remorse.

- 🍓

[stoneagedevil]

Red and Blue (But Mostly Red) | Billy Hargrove x Reader

PART ONE: “Cherry Red, Denim Blue, and White Hot Rage”

CW/TW: cops, speeding, use of “babe,” etc.

—🏁—

You didn’t particularly care to uphold a reputation for keeping your word, for honestly, or for keeping your sleeves trick-free. In fact, you didn’t really have that sort of honest reputation at all. On occasion you broke promises, told lies, and divulged in a little semi-harmless cheating and deceit.

This track record was the sole reason for your time, date, and setting for this street race. After getting to know certain officials through your dad and just a general set of observational skills, you knew when, where, and how long certain cops liked to sit in certain places.

When one owns a fast car, one thinks ahead. Really, it was your dad’s fault. Growing up with a government agent as a parent was bound to instill some level of secrecy in you, as well as the skills to evade watchful eyes.

Throughout the week you’d subtly pester who you come to know as “Billy Hargrove.” The Keg King, the hottest lifeguard, the serial womanizer, the resident adrenaline junkie. Whatever else he could be called, it was something you took note of. You kept your friends close, and your enemies closer.

Pestering was defined through winks in the hallways, slamming a locker door shut every now and then, and to really get under his skin, making a scene in the cafeteria which involved you sitting in his lap and asking if he was getting cold feet.

Yes, it really was no wonder that you became fast friends with Munson.

“So you met Billy Hargrove.” Eddie mentioned, the boys suddenly stopped their chatter to listen in.

Putting on an air of poshness, you replied,“My dearest Munson, that begs the question, doesn’t it?” Nose pointed up at the ceiling, you sat poised.

“And what question might that be L/N dearest?” He played into the character, matching your demeanor.

You turned suddenly, smirking. “Did I meet Billy Hargrove, or did Billy Hargrove meet me?” The table burst out in jovial laughs.

As Eddie caught his breath, he questioned you again. “So, think you’ll kick ass in the street race?” Eddie asked as he picked at some pretzels.

“Think? I know I would. But I don’t need to. I thought of something a little more fun.” You snatched a pretzel, snapping it in half with your pearly whites.

“Sabotage?” He smiled, eyes crinkling, his hands rubbed together as though he were a villain planning something diabolical.

“Tut tut Munson. I wouldn’t say sabotage is the right word. As if I’d do anything to his precious Camaro.” You stated, as if it were obvious.

Eddie huffed in frustration, causing his wild bangs to fly upwards and his forehead to make a surprise appearance. “Alright alright. So what is it?” He leaned in closer, as the rest of the boys did, waiting on bated breath to hear from Y/N The Cunning.

“I’d never do anything. What will- excuse me- what MAY get him in trouble, are events he partakes in on his own volition. I shall tell you no more, and no less, my friends.” The rest of the table sighed in frustration impatiently, while Eddie’s laugh appeared once again.

You chuckled smugly. This band of brats had really warmed up to you, and despite having the chance to run with the popular crowd, you pretty much defied the laws of high school cliques and wove in and out of groups as you pleased. Really, you were a shapeshifter. You got along with all groups on some level.

But at the end of the day, you spent most of your time with Eddie and the kids.

————

The day came when you’d face Billy in one of the most anticipated street races in Hawkins. You’d cleaned your car and waxed it to glimmering perfection, and gave yourself a spa day as well. What was most integral to this plan of yours, was remembering to take your Polaroid camera along for the ride.

So, with nothing else to do, and the time of the race approaching, you set off in your Corvette, driving to the designated road. As you pulled in, you saw about half of the school in attendance, all looking at each other and talking amongst themselves. You you make out “she showed up”’s and, “I thought she chickened out”’s here and there.

You arrived after Billy had, who was talking up his supporters, declaring how he’d win like it was nothing. Leave it to him to only show up early to a race over anything else going on in his life.

Now, your car may have been older by a few years, but she was still a sports car, and she was born to go fast. Just like you.

However, for now, you’d keep it in first gear.

You both parked your cars on a crudely drawn chalk line. Wheels in perfect synchronization.

Billy turned to you, his windows long rolled down. “Never too late to back out sweetheart. Don’t wanna make a fool out of ourselves, do we?” He smiled. Really, his heart was racing faster than his car ever could. You’d shown up, flawless, car flawless, engine purring.

At his jest, you pulled your sunglasses down to your nose and made direct eye contact with him, pressing the gas gently. Your engine roared in a challenge to him, and you slowly put your shades back up and turned to face the road. Billy exhaled through O-shaped lips. He was sure you’d be the death of him.

One of your classmates stood in between the hoods of your cars, taking a bandana and holding it high in the air.

“Racers! First down the road and back to cross this line wins! Any questions?!” She yelled through red lips.

“Yeah, what do I get if I win?” Billy asked, turning to you. “How about a date?” He smiled again, chewing his mint gum.

You smiled in return. “Be prepared for disappointment babe.”

“Don’t think I can be disappointed when it comes to you.” He winked. You laughed. This back and forth was some of the most fun you had in ages.

“Racers ready!” The flag girl yelled once the exchanged was over. The crowd was buzzing in excitement. You and Billy turned to face the road, engines rumbling in anticipation. “Racers steady…..” she yelled.

Deep breathes in, and out.

“GO! GO! GO!” She screamed, throwing her arm down in a swift motion. Billy shifted immediately into first gear, expertly going straight into third. And when the dust cleared….

…you were, sitting?

You hadn’t moved.

“Y/N! The race started! Go!” A crowd erupted in a commotion as to why you’d talk so much smack and suddenly throw this chance away to beat the man who couldn’t be beat.

“Patience everyone!” You yelled over them, your voice stern and commanding. Silence washed over the crowd. “I’ll go when I need to.”

You checked your watch, and proceeded to move your car down the road at the designated speed limit. Down the road, you saw red and blue flashing lights with a cop outside of his cruiser, standing next to the blue Camaro you’d seen a minute or so prior. You slowed down and pulled up next to Billy’s window, shouting.

“Hey leadfoot! Smile pretty!” You took your Polaroid and snapped a picture of his embarrassed face at the fact that he’d been pulled over. He groaned and slammed his head down on the wheel.

You drove slowly down the road, and back, where you inevitably won the race. Not like you had much competition.

Pulling in past the line, you got out of your car. “Slow and steady everyone.” You said smugly, shaking a small, thin, white square in your hand. When the image developed, you held it up for everyone to see…

…revealing a red, embarrassed (but grinning) Billy Hargrove.

Everyone laughed and cheered, crowning you the car queen of Hawkins High.

But that didn’t mean you weren’t done pestering Billy yet.

-🏁-

Thinking about making a part 3, but it might be a tad short. Y’all alright with that?

[escapismqueen]

Chenford + drunk confession

Hey, here’s a little fic for your prompt. Thank you for requesting it, I really needed the inspiration 😂💕hope you like it 🥰

A Chenford pre-relationship fic- How do you know ?

Lucy is having a rough day, so with the help of Tim, Nyla and Angela take her out for the night. But what happens when Lucy drunkenly confesses something to not only Angela, but to Tim as well ?

Inc: Fluff, hurt/comfort, protective Tim, Angela, Nyla and Lucy being adorable

Warnings: alcohol consumption and talk of a difficult parental relationship

Tim looked over at Lucy in the shop, eyebrows scrunched in concern at her lack of conversation. Usually, she’ll have told him 3 different stories by now, wether they be from childhood, police academy or just last night; she always had something to tell him. And as much as Tim would complain and exclaim that there was to be ‘no personal talk’ in the shop, he secretly loved it and felt excited every time Lucy opened her mouth.

“You okay ?” He stares at her every few seconds, his focus on the road suddenly seeming unimportant and dull. Lucy’s head swings towards Tim’s, his words snapping her out of the trance she’s been in for the past half an hour. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine” she answers in a tone of voice that is fooling nobody; especially not Tim Bradford.

Tim breathes out, hands clenching around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white as his agitation and anxiety rises. Lucy always tells him what’s wrong, she even gave him a 20 minute speech once about how ‘it’s important to acknowledge your own feelings so you don’t get lost in them’. She’d told him this when they got called out to a Domestic- the couple had been arguing every night for a week and had several calls made about them to the police; turns out that they were just missing each other because they’d both been working late. Lucy had a lot to say on the matter.

Thinking about a way to approach the subject without pushing her too hard, Tim keeps glancing at Lucy, eyes darting back and forth between her and the road. Her silence doesn’t diminish, so Tim makes a decision that even has him questioning his professionalism. He pulls the shop over to the curb, feeling confident that today is a quieter day, and there’s been no calls to them as of yet.

Lucy casts her gaze towards Tim hesitantly; did he just pull over ? It’s not their lunch break yet and they haven’t had a call, what’s gotten into him ? “Tim, wha-“

“Tell me what’s going on” he looks at her with an impatient expression, jaw slightly hardened and his whole body turned towards her. He may be trying to seem annoyed, but Lucy doesn’t miss the worry that floats in his eyes; she’s seen it enough times to know when it’s there. “It’s nothing important, honestly I’m fine.” Tim sighs, the look of disbelief that crosses his face is almost humorous, and Lucy wound have laughed if she didn’t feel so crappy.

“You’re fine ? So that’s why you’ve not said a word all day and why you’ve been moping about looking outside your window ? That’s fine is it ?” She looks at him with exasperation, though she’s privately flattered that he cares this much. “It’s my Mom” he nods in understanding; this explains her mood. Tim knows Lucy Chen like the back of his hand, and he knows how complicated her relationship with her Mother is, so whatever problem she is currently harbouring, it can’t be a good one.

“It’s just, we haven’t really spoken properly for a while, since she said all that stuff about my job. But it was her birthday yesterday so I called her up last night, and she just- she just completely tore me down in any way she could ! It was either ‘you’re stupid for staying at this job’ or ‘you’re not being a very good daughter’ or ‘have I had any dates recently, because a man ‘won’t wait forever’” she rolls her eyes in frustration, her hands flying up to emphasise every word she utters. Tim can’t help but focus on the last one ‘a man won’t wait forever’, he may not know everything when it comes to love, but he knows that a man in love would wait, and he would wait until the end of time for a woman like Lucy; he knows he would, but he’s not about to tell her that.

“I’m just so sick of feeling small around her. I’m sick of never feeling good enough in anything I do!” Her anger is clear from any angle, wether she could be heard or not, her body language screamed rage, hurt, exhaustion. Tim can feel his heart tighten at the sound of torment in her voice. Lucy is the epitome of sunshine, and so seeing her any different feels wrong. He thinks for a moment, unsure if he can say what he wants to, he doesn’t want to overstep and upset her even more, but they’ve been through so much together, and each of them trusts the other with their life, so he convinces himself to open up.

“Listen Chen, I don’t know if this is my place to say, but I’m going to anyway” he takes a breath and looks deeply into her eyes with sincerity. “Nobody, and especially not your Mom, should be speaking to you like that. You’re feeling angry and upset because the way she treats you is wrong and just because she gave you life, doesn’t mean she gets to decide what you do with it. And for the record, any man stupid enough not to wait for you, doesn’t deserve you in the first place.” Tim’s eyes widen slightly in surprise at himself; sure, they’ve had heart to hearts before, many times in fact, but has he ever said anything that personal regarding her love life ?

Before Lucy can give her response, Tim cuts in, anxious to sway her mind from the last thing he said. “I’m just saying, it’s okay if you need to cut her out completely, at least for a while. You may be her daughter, but she’s your mother, and mothers aren’t supposed to cause their daughters pain.”

Lucy is silent, her mind digesting every word that she’s just heard. She needed this. Other than Jackson, everyone else had told her that her mother only had her ‘best Interest at heart’ but it’s easy to say that when you haven’t lived with it your whole life. And here Tim is, saying easing her worry and guilt by completely validating her feelings, and telling her that it’s her Mom that’s in the wrong. She didn’t realise how much she needed to hear it from somebody else, and now that Jackson is gone, she thought she’d never hear it again. Lucy knew that Tim understood that she felt a certain way towards her Mother, but she hadn’t realised he knew just how much he understood. In a way, she supposes she should have considering what she knows about Tim’s dad, but when her Mom signed her up to have her eggs frozen, Tim’s response had been “or, she’s just looking out for you knowing how busy you are” so it’s safe to say his response to this did surprise her slightly.

Lucys continued silence starts to ring alarm bells in Tim’s head “Lucy, I’m sorry, I-“

“No, no, don’t be. You don’t know how much that meant to me, so Thankyou.” She gives him a reassuring smile and a grateful stare that she hopes he doesn’t miss. “And you’re right, I think I’m going to tell her we can’t speak for a while, even on holidays.” Tim nods in agreement, happy that she’s realising she deserves to be treated better. The look between them doesn’t falter for a second, a depth to their stare that says more than words ever could. Both of them gulp in anticipation, not quite knowing what feeling is lingering in the air.

“Assault Suspect heading on foot towards Brook street, white male, black suit, suspect is armed” Lucy and Tim are brought out of their haze by the sound of the radio. Tim knows immediately that they’re close to Brook street, he saw it just before he parked the shop. And he now knows that whatever moment he and Lucy were just having, is very much over. “7 Adam 19, pursuing suspect on Brook street”

Later on at the station

Angela walks up to Tim, a determined stride in her step, and a mischievous glance on her face. Oh no, the last time Angela had this look on her face, she’d told him to fire her maid of honour, what could she possibly have in mind now ? “What’s happening?” Tim asks warily, failing to hide the humour in his words. Angela smirks at him and wiggles her eyebrows “Timothy, I have a task for you” Tim’s eyes narrow, the teasing tone and full name that she uses, causing him uneasiness; and Angela knows it. “Spit it out”

“I need you to be the chauffeur for a girls night tonight.”

“What ?! No! The game is on tonight, why can’t Wesley ?” He looks away in exasperation, hands thrown up either side of him. Angela sighs impatiently, she hasn’t got time to lay all the groundwork out for him, and tell him all about Wesley’s new case that’s been keeping him late at work; she’s supposed to be in a meeting right now, so she uses the only card that she knows will undoubtedly work “it’s for Lucy”. Tim’s head snaps her way with force, an intrigued expression now replacing his previous exasperated one.

“What is it ?” Angela smiles in victory “wellll, I noticed Lucys been a bit down today, so Nyla and I decided that we’re taking her out tonight. And you are going to happily take us and pick us up so we can all have a nice drink.” Her eyebrows begin to raise again, arms crossing in defiance, there’s no way Tim is getting away with a ‘no’ on this one. He sighs in defeat, puffs of air releasing through his lips “Fine, what time ?”

At the bar

Angela, Nyla and Lucy sit close around the table at the bar. They arrived almost two hours ago and Lucy has had the absolute pleasure of ranting all about her problems, with Angela and Nyla backing her up and listening intently to everything she said. They were right- she needed this. Nyla raises her glass of water, a smile on her face and a relaxed, peppy air about her. “Here’s to living our lives by our own choices, and not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of it.” “Damn right” Lucy and Angela comment in unison. A look of recognition crosses Nyla’s features and she re raises her glass, both Angela and Lucy looking on confused. “And here’s to Tim Bradford for forgetting that I’m pregnant, so could have easily been the designated driver tonight.” Laughter erupts from the table in a ferocious parade, onlookers smiling at the joy of the clearly close friends.

“Okay, I’m gonna have to run to the bathroom because this baby is jumping on my bladder like nobody’s business” Nyla gets up from the table , a quick skip In her step, and Angela takes the private moment to ask Lucy something that has been on her mind. “So, how’s things with you and Chris?” Lucy looks up, eyes particularly bugged out for the casual nature of the question, which doesn’t go unseen by Angela. “Oh? Erm, yeah, things are fine-great, yeah, we’re good” Angela’s left eyebrow arches at the fumbling of Lucy’s words. She asked this question for a reason; she knows Lucy isn’t happy with Chris, she’s aware she’s settling because she thinks she can’t have what she really wants- Tim. But she knows Tim Bradford, and Tim Bradford wants Lucy Chen. She’s so desperate for those two idiots to figure it out, so she prods her more.

“You don’t seem too confident in that answer” By now, Lucy’s had a few drinks, and her usual barrier she puts up of hiding feelings for Tim, was getting weaker by the second. “Mmmm, I mean, Chris is a nice boyfriend, but I’m just not sure he’s great for me” Lucy winces and drops her head into her hands, instantly regretting revealing such things when she hasn’t even said them out loud to herself yet. Angela rests a comforting hand upon Lucy’s forearm, and pulls her hands away from her eyes, getting her to look at her own. “Look, I know it’s not exactly my business, but nobody in the history of time has ever referred to their boyfriend as ‘nice’ when things were going great. It’s easy to settle when you think you don’t have a chance at what you really want, but If I were you, I wouldn’t give up so quick.”

Lucy’s brows scrunch in bewilderment. Angela hit the nail on the head with everything she said; maybe a little too much- what does she know ? Have a chance at what she really wants? What would make her say that with the little information she gave her about Chris?. Her mind begins to turn foggy, and before either of them can think through the question anymore, the alcohol hits them and the only thing they want to do is dance.

“Nyla !! Come over here ! We’re dancingggg” Nyla lifts her head on the way back from the bathroom, chuckling at the state of her two friends. “I can see that” Lucy’s smile is bright and she appears to be much more carefree than she was this morning. Nyla can’t help but give in to temptation and join them both on the floor, each of them being spun around by the other, drunken and sober giggles flying through the air. This is definitely what was needed, Angela and Nyla included. Angela has been feeling the stress of being detective pretty hard lately, and Nyla has been dwelling constantly on the baby and if either of them will be safe; a night with their girls is just what the doctor ordered.

3 hours later, Nyla calls Tim and asks him to come and pick Lucy up. Already getting in his car, he puts his phone on speaker and tells her he’ll be there soon. “I thought you and Angela needed a ride too.”

“Yeah, we did, but Wesley’s just got out of work and said he’d pick Angela up, and I’m going too because my place is closest to theirs” she peers to her side at Angela, face questioning wether she had sufficiently excelled in the task. Angela bobs her head rapidly, eyes scanning the room to see if Lucy had returned from the bar yet, cautious of getting caught. The thing is, Wesley wasn’t working late tonight, and she had known that from the beginning, but Angela had plans of her own, and that included getting Tim and Lucy to open up about their feelings; she just decided to give them a little nudge.

“Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll be about 5 minutes” “okay cool, bye.” Nyla turned to Angela, a humorous smirk etched upon her lips “you’re a menace” Angela laughs and pushes Nyla’s arm with a playful shove “a super smart menace”.

“Who’s a super smart menace?” Lucy questions, clearly her trip to the bar had been a short lived one. But In Angela and Nyla’s luck, she was much too inebriated to notice the deer in headlights expression that was notched into their faces. “Oh, nothing, just someone in a case we worked on last week” Angela sends a promising smile to Nyla, eyes seeking the appraisal for her lie that her drunk self wanted. Nyla nods towards her with an over exaggerated smile and thumbs up, her demeanour taking that of a Mother who’s child had just gone potty for the first time.

Nyla’s phone buzzes, gaze averting from Angela and Lucy, who are currently wobbling, leaning on each other for support- yeah, it was time to head home. Thankfully, Tim and Wesley had arrived at pretty much the same time, so the women parted ways safely and made their way home.

Tim grabbed into Lucy’s waist and reached his hand out for hers when she stumbled on her own feet. “How much did you have to drink?” Lucy giggled troublesomely, her hiccups giving away that the number of drinks she had was worryingly high. Tim sends her an amused smile, mind feeling slightly more at ease to know that he’s with her whilst she’s like this. “Okay, let’s get you in the truck” he utters it so adoringly that drunk Lucy can’t help but tear up. “Thank you for picking me up Tim, I know the game was on *hiccup* tonight”.

As Tim puts Lucy’s seatbelt over her and clips it into the holder, his mind runs wild with how she knows that the game was on tonight. He didn’t tell her, and she doesn’t follow football, so how could she have possibly known that ? Curiosity usually doesn’t get the best of him, he’s usually one to not care why people say what they say, but this- he must know. “How did you know the game was on tonight?” His voice has heightened in curiosity, hands still rested safely on the seatbelt, but as he looks to Lucy for an answer, he is met with her angelic-like state of sleep. In theory, you’d think that tussled hair, open mouth and slight snoring wouldn’t be that cute, but to Tim, she looked perfect.

Shaking his head of the thoughts a man in a relationship shouldn’t be having, he gently closes Lucy’s side of the truck and hops into the drivers seat, making his way to Lucy’s apartment, his eyes glancing over to her every once in a while to check she’s okay.

As Tim parks outside of Lucy’s building, he softly whispers her name and rubs her arm up and down to wake her. No response. “Lucy” this time, he gets a reaction; she begins to mumble and curls herself up to the window of the truck. It’s clear to Tim that she’s not going to wake up, which leaves only one option- he’s going to have to carry her.

Opening Lucy’s door, he carefully unfastens her seatbelt so he doesn’t wake her in the process, and places an arm underneath her thighs, other arm wrapping around her waist. Tim lifts her with no struggle out of the car, and repositions her over his shoulder so that he has a hand free to open the door to the building and her apartment. The elevator was luckily empty due to the time, and Tim was able to comfortably stand in the middle with Lucy sprawled over his shoulder.

As he unlocks the keys to her door, he begins to notice her stirring in her sleep, alerting him that she’s probably going to wake up sooner rather than later. He closes the door and paces his way slowly over to her colourful sofa, laying her down lightly upon the pillows. He crouches down and watches as her eyes stir, leisurely blinking to adjust to the brightness in the room. “Hmmm” Lucy’s gaze sets upon Tim, her drunken state smiling at him, rather than questioning how she got upstairs.

“Hey sleeping beauty” he teases with a smirk, laughing at the irritated glare she’s directing towards her table lamp. “Guessing you had a good night” Lucy breathes out slowly, moving her body so that she’s sat up facing him. “Can I have please water some ?” Tim raises his eyebrows in amusement; he’s never seen drunk Lucy before, he’s seen her slightly tipsy but this is another level, and he’s not going to deny that it’s the best thing he’s seen all week. “I’ll go and get you some water now”. Tim stands from his position and strides towards Lucy’s cupboards, reaching for a glass and filling it up with some cold water.

“Tim?” He hums in response, eyes still watching the water filling the glass. Lucy is looking over at him, her chin placed comfortably on the back of the sofa, eyes inquisitive. “How do you know if you’re settling for someone ?” Tim freezes to his spot, turning off the tap quickly as the glass overfills due to his surprise. “Erm, I don’t know” he thinks for a second of how to answer her question, but once he realised she probably won’t remember tomorrow, he begins to answer her. “I suppose you’re never really at your full happiness with the person, because there’s a part of you that doesn’t actually want them. I guess you just feel a little empty at times when you’re around them” as Tim unload his thoughts, he realises that he may have just said something that he needed to hear himself, but it’s 1:30 in the morning and he’s not about to delve down that hole.

“Why do you ask?” He walks towards her and hands her the glass of water, their fingers grazing across each other and sending sparks of electric through their bodies.

Lucy looks at Tim with a thoughtful leer, head spinning trying to come up with the words her brain wants her to say. “Mhnnnm, I’m not sure I like him- Chris, I’m not sure if I have proper feelings for *hiccup* him.” Tim opens his mouth in shock, eyes bulged and heart rate increasing with hope; he thought she was happy with Chris, but knowing that that might not be the case, he feels himself feeling lighter for the first time in weeks. “I bet you’re a great boyfriend, Ashley’s veryyyy lucky” Tim smiles in disbelief, worrying he’s imagining this in his head, so he says the only thing that he can think to say “thank you, Chris is very lucky too.”

“What do you think of him ?” Lucy questions, eyes scanning Tim’s face for any tells. “I uh- he’s nice” Lucy chuckles and recalls earlier on that day “Angela said that saying that is usually not a good thing” he’s stuck for words now, because Angela’s right, he didn’t mean “nice” in a good way, what he meant to say was ‘he’s definitely not good enough for you’, but now was not the time nor the place for it. “Yeah, well Angela says a lot of things” he brushes off Lucy’s question and tries to divert her attention elsewhere “drink your water”. As she takes a sip, her eyes become heavy with sleep, her bed calling her loudly. “I’m going to sleep”

Tim catches her as her head lulls to one side glass caught in his other before it can shatter to the floor. “Okay, just drink this and then you can go to sleep”

“Ughhh, Tim, I just wanna sleeeeep” he chuckles once again, debating wether or not he should film this so he can tease her about it at work; the look on her face would be a sight to see, but he decides against it as she begins to cry. “ I just- I just wish love was easier. Like- I wish I just felt at one with Chris, I wish it was easy and I wish I *hiccup* could just be myself- like it is with me and you.” Tim’s eyes glaze over and he can’t help but brush a tear from Lucy’s cheek, the need to envelop her growing stronger by the second. His brain short circuits at the declaration of her words. ‘Like it is with me and you?’ Is she saying she has feelings for him, or is she just stating that it’s easy with him, no romantic implication behind it ? It’s safe to say that she’s caused his mind to race wildly tonight.

“Lucy-“ “I’m tired, can I sleep now?” Tim halts in the middle of his sentence, coming to the conclusion that he probably shouldn’t read too much into anything she’s said, because she’s not in the right state of mind. He peers over to her glass of water, satisfied that she’s drank enough and nods softly, helping her into her room. The question of how to get her into more comfortable clothes becomes intelligible, he can’t get her dressed himself so the only option is to turn around whilst she dresses herself and hope that she doesn’t tumble and injure herself.

As if Lucy had read his thoughts, she tilts her head up at Tim and states that she’s too tired to get changed, and is just going to sleep in the clothes she already has on. Tim nods and follows her to the bed, laying her down gently and putting her in the recovery position. His head may be swirling, but nothing could ever stop him from making sure she’s safe. As she gets comfortable, he brings the remaining water and some Advil and tells her to take two so that her hangover isn’t too bad in the morning. Lucy’s heart warms at the sight of him taking care of her; this is what it’s supposed to feel like, she thinks to herself. She swallows the Advil down and puts herself back into the position that Tim had previously put her in.

With a tired yawn and sniffle, she cracks an eye open to gain Tim’s attention and sends him an adoring smile. “Thank you again, for bringing me home, and for taking care of me”

“No problem Lucy, I’m here whenever you need me” the sincerity in his voice sets a calm over the room, and Lucy nuzzles her head into her pillow, nose scrunching when the material tickles her. “I’ll see you at work” he places a friendly hand upon her shoulder, but as he looks at her, cuddled up in bed, hair falling into the pillows, he can’t help but to brush a strand behind her ear. He turns towards the door and tiptoes gently so he doesn’t wake her up; then he remembers ‘I know the game was on tonight’- he never did find out how she knew, so he took a chance, whispering out the question once again, expecting no response from the half asleep woman in bed. “How did you know the game was on tonight ?” When he gets no reply after 5 seconds, he continues to walk out of the room, preparing himself to take his trip back home. But then it comes.

“Because…it’s you”

[spotsandsocks]

WIP Wednesday Good Knight Sweet Prince update

Chapter 17 (9k)

This is the chapter with ONLY ONE BED 😉 and as I’ve included that bit under the cut I’m counting this as wip Wednesday too so thanks for tags @buddierights and @heartbeatdiaz @alyxmastershipper

Read from the start

for those not reading this who like some sexy oh no there’s only one bed shenanigans here is that scene under cut. Context- Buck’s a prince, Eddie’s a knight/captain of the guard they’re in love and can’t be together because Buck has to marry a princess. Sexual tension abounds and they’re resisting as best they can. They’re on a road trip and stop at an inn. A teeny snippet to tempt you to look and the rest is under the cut …

He wonders if the other man is awake too.

He gets the answer to his question when a voice whispers, “You asleep?”

His own answer is just as quiet. 

“Yes. I think I’m dreaming.”

Eventually full and sleepy it’s time for bed but he doesn’t want to leave Eddie’s side, by the time he’s stiffles his third yawn Eddie leans back  and says in a warm tone that makes him feel seen, cared for,  “Go to bed, you're tired. I’m gonna go check the horses then go to my room, I’ll see you in the morning.”

He nods, too tired to argue. He doesn’t move though stays where he is until Eddie left, he’s going any minute now.

‘Scuse me sir.” He looks up at a young woman, with short curly hair and smiles, “Your room is ready when you are. Top of the stairs, second door. Boss said to say sorry again.”

“He frowns up at her, “Sorry? What for?” 

“Cos there’s only one room, sir and you gotta share, your friend weren’t much pleased. Boss said,” then she blushes as if realising she may have over shared.

As he processes that bit of information he mumbles a brief reassurance. “No, that’s um fine. It’s no problem. We’re happy to share.” The girl leaves and Buck looks towards the door Eddie left through, he definitely said was going to his own room after he checked the horses, he’s tired but he’s not that tired. He stands with a frown, What’s Eddie up to?

Instead of heading to his room he heads to the stable, where he finds exactly what he expected to find. He’s not impressed.

“And what do you think you're doing?”

Eddie startles from where he’s trying to get comfortable on a pile of hay in the stable their horses are in.

Eddie rolls his eyes and lies back down. “Trying to get to sleep, why aren’t you?”

“Um because my idiot friend is lying in a stable where he’s probably going to freeze to death or get no sleep at because he’s getting too old to sleep on the ground.”

“Hey!” Eddie glares up at him, “I’m not old and I’ve slept in worse places than this.”

There’s no way he’s letting this happen, he wastes no time making that clear, “Well not tonight you’re not.”

Eddie stubborn though he pulls his blanket higher. “No. I’m fine here.” 

“No you’re not.”

Eddie doesn’t move. He says, “You know we can’t share.”

He does know. It probably isn’t the best idea at all but he’s quite capable of controlling himself if he needs to.

“Why not?” 

Eddie doesn’t answer, just looks up at him through narrowed eyes.

Buck ignores the meaning behind the glare, the unspoken ‘you know why’ of it all and plows on with the oblivious optimism that they can do this. 

“It’s fine, you can sleep on the floor indoors if you’re too stubborn to sleep in the bed with me. It’ll be warmer at least.”

Eddie has a stubborn set to his jaw and he hasn’t moved an inch. Buck decides to ignore that.

“Up. Now.” He walk closer and holds out his hand, “You sleep in my room or I sleep out here with you, it’s as simple as that.”

Eddie makes a low annoyed growl of frustration that Buck doesn’t enjoy one bit. He doesn’t. There’s a muttered “Honestly”  and then ironically “You’re so stubborn.” 

Which is rich coming from a man refusing to move off a stable floor.

“I’m stubborn? I’m not the one trying to sleep in a stable under half a blanket.” Buck wiggles his fingers impatiently, “Up!”

Eddie finally does as he’s told, taking hold of his hand and levering himself up, grumbling the whole time. “You know you’re a nag.”

“Well I wouldn't have to nag if you did the sensible thing in the first place.”

That gets him an eye roll which he counters with a stern look and a tap of his finger against his friend's chest,  “Stop wasting time I’m tired. I want to get some sleep.”

Face to face Eddie still looks annoyed but he concedes, grumpily true, but Buck will take it.

“Fine but I’m sleeping on the floor.”

He nods calmly “If you say so.”

“I do.”

Buck walks away to hide his smile, confident now that Eddie will follow him, 

“Whatever makes you  happy Eddie.”

In his room Buck’s confronted with a bed that’s clearly big enough for two. It’s all very well bullying Eddie into the inn but now confronted with a bed and the warm fire in his room it all feels a little more intimate than he’d expected. 

Eddie’s not looking at him and has gone very quiet. 

He fills the silence, “Honestly we can share the bed. I don’t mind.

“I’ll be fine on the floor, or look there’s a chair too.” Eddie sits on it and nods,  “surprisingly comfortable.” 

It’s hard, wooden and comfortable is the last thing you think about when you look at it, “Yeah looks it and you’re just being stubborn.”

“I’m never stubborn.” That's such an outright lie that Buck lets out an involuntary bark of laughter.

Eddie looks sheepish, “I’m not. It’s just.. you know.”

He does, he knows very well. Not much to say about that though so he moves on.

“Fine, be uncomfortable, see if I care.” The tone is blasé but he does care, very much. Too much.

They take off layers of clothes while carefully facing away from each other until Buck slips under the covers of the bed and the only light is from the dying fire.

He calls out, “Night Eddie.”

“Goodnight Buck.”

Buck closes his eyes, the bed is comfortable but he can’t fall asleep. Eddie’s not doing any better either. He’s moved from the chair to the floor and he can hear him moving around restlessly, it's driving him to distraction. Eventually he can’t stand it any longer, he makes a frustrated noise and sits up, the lump on the floor doesn’t look at all comfortable.

“Just get up here please. I want to sleep and you’re annoying me with your wriggling.”

He lies back down and waits, he doesn’t think it’s going to happen but then the bed dips as Eddie’s weight gets added to it and he smiles a secret smile in the dark, pleased he’s won again.

A voice drifts over to his side of the bed.“Sorry I must be more used to soft beds now than I thought.”

“It’s fine, just go to sleep.” He rolls over with his back to Eddie who's still lying flat on his. He can imagine him there, stiff and tense, probably staring at the ceiling, well at least he’s off the floor, that’s something.

“Night Buck.”

“Night Eddie.”

He’s asleep quickly after that, knowing Eddie’s more comfortable and having him close is enough to  let him relax. He does stir a few times, aware that each time he wakes up the distance between them has become smaller presumably as they both move around in their sleep. If this carries on he might get lucky and wake up in Eddie’s arms. That won’t be his fault will it, if they end up pressed together while they sleep. He wiggles backwards a fraction.

The next time he wakes it’s to the warmth of Eddie’s body much, much closer. Not quite touching but so so close. He wonders if the other man is awake too.

He gets the answer to his question when a voice whispers, “You asleep?”

His own answer is just as quiet. 

“Yes. I think I’m dreaming.”

There’s a soft huff of air on his neck when Eddie laughs at him. He can almost feel his lips brush his neck when he asks another question. Eddie’s hand brushes his hip, thumb moving slowly, a soft back and forth across his skin.  

“Is it a good dream?”

The hand gets bolder, the touch more sure. Buck keeps his breathing slow and sure as he hums confirmation that it is. There’s another huff of amusement when he adds,

“The best.”

The mattress shifts again and Eddie’s even closer.

Buck can feel his heart racing but his voice is calm. “I hope I remember it when I wake up.”

Suddenly he loses the hand on his hip but it’s ok, it’s just moved to his chest, pushing him gently onto his back. 

Eddie’s voice is low and soft against the shell of his ear now. Buck can’t help the shiver that runs through him at the words being pressed into his skin  “Keep your eyes closed. Don’t wake up yet.”

He hums and nods as fingers slide across his chest, moving slowly over his neck and onto his face. They trace his lips so softly it almost tickles, he just about manages to hold in a whimper.

Eddie’s fingers move gently tracing the contours of his face, they smooth along his cheek bone up and to the spot his face is marked, even in the dark Eddie traces the pattern there perfectly. The fingers trail down over his nose and find his mouth again. Eddie finds them parted slightly this time and when Buck lets his tongue brush against the pads of his fingertips, there’s a sharp catch in the breath by his ear. The calloused tips of a strong hand move to cup his face and now it’s just the thumb that ghosts over his mouth until it’s replaced by lips touching his so, so softly, so quickly he might have imagined it. 

A word slips out, “Please” it might have been too quiet to hear or maybe not, maybe Eddie felt the word against his fingers that are back and leaving featherlight trails of heat wherever they touch, either way he gets what he wants, another soft touch of lip to lip, the barest taste but dizzying nonetheless.

The softest kisses he’s ever known continue; on his lips, his cheeks, his eyelids and back to his mouth again. He feels alive in a way he never has before but at the same time he’s drowning, drowning in the tenderness Eddie’s showing him. Kisses across his skin and fingertips sliding up and down his body, he’s being touched everywhere. He can feel Eddie’s skin against his in a hundred places, moving over his chest, the back of his knees, his side, at his neck, grazing against a nipple as they slide down, over and around him. He presses up into the touches, silently asking for more, for this to never stop, to keep dreaming this dream forever. It’s overwhelming and wonderful, he moans softly and feels the lips pressed against his skin curl into a smile. 

“Nice dream?”

“Amazing,” he speaks the breathless words into Eddie’s mouth and then for the first time kisses back, slips his tongue into Eddie’s mouth, just a little, another quick taste, short and sweet, it still makes Eddie shiver and gasp so he does it again, until the push and pull of lips and tongue become firmer, is more and more and more. He arches into it, his own hands now searching, touching, just as gentle as the gift he’s been given, just as much love, just as much need.

Eddie’s sliped away from his lips, he’d chase him but the kisses are moving along his neck and that’s nice too, stretching so he can feel more he exposes his skin to Eddie who takes everything that’s offered. The kisses continue with light nips of teeth that ignite more flames in him, the heat of it sinking lower as Eddie travels down his body. He’s breathless and panting desperately into the darkness, eyes still tightly closed not wanting to break the spell. Kisses move lower and so do hands, the first touch against the ache between his legs brings his back arching off the bed and a sharp cry, it feels so good.  He’s shushed gently and petted with kisses that are still getting lower and lower, the covers pushed aside. He wishes he could look but he’s scared it will make it too real, that it will have to stop. He doesn’t want it to stop. 

The drag and glide of Eddie’s hand against him is all consuming and he wants to feel it all. He doesn’t want to think, he wants to feel and that becomes very easy when Eddie’s mouth reaches the destination it’s been slowly heading towards. The wet warmth of his tongue starts to lap at the aching hardness of his thickened cock and all thoughts stop.

Buck moans low and deep, one hand flying out and holding onto the bedpost, the other finding Eddie’s hair and his fingers wrap around his curls, not holding, not pushing just feeling, losing himself in both the softness of his hair and his mouth. 

Buck gasps and moans at the sensations being poured into him as Eddie dips and slides his mouth over and over him, firm constant heat, the noises, wet and dirty  mingle with the soft moans also coming from between his legs and  his own sharper desperate cries of pleasure. Eddie works him steady and slow, no rush even when Buck starts to beg, plead incoherently to have more, to come. He begs Eddie, ‘harder harder, more, please, now now,’  but the rhythm never changes. Buck loses all sense of time as Eddie takes him slowly apart with his mouth and his hands and his love.

Eventually one of the hands that’s been toying with him slips lower and makes small circles round and round, another infuriating pleasure that isn’t quite enough.

He can’t talk anymore, he’s just panting, sobbing needy little sounds of pleasure when out of nowhere it all combines into blinding white light when Eddie presses his finger into him a little harder and swallows around him, a flick of his tongue sending him over the edge into light and pleasure and a moment of ecstasy he’ll hold onto forever.

He’s shaking as he comes down from his high and he’s in arms and being kissed again, words float over him, “I’ve got you sweetheart, it’s ok. I’m here.” The kisses don’t stop so he curls into Eddie’s warmth and holds on, gives Eddie back what he’s received,  after all this is only a dream so he can can’t he. It’s just a dream so he can have whatever he wants.

Eddie holds on tightly as Buck sleeps in his arms. He’d known what would happen the moment he’d been found in the stable and Buck told him to come inside but he’d let it happen anyway. He should have said no. It’s an easy enough word after all, but he hadn’t wanted to. It’s what they both wanted and another memory to hold onto. He won’t forget a single kiss or touch they’ve just shared and he knows Buck won’t either. He’s glad, so glad. He pulls the man in his arms in tighter and feels Buck’s smile against his chest. He’s his tonight. All his, just his. Tomorrow will be different but tonight is a dream they’ve shared and no one can take that from him, from either of them.

Tomorrow he’ll let go, tomorrow he’ll wake up but not yet. Not now. Now he can dream a little bit longer.