#my parents' generation comes at animals in a whole different way that's just. alarming to me as someone that really cares about animals lol

[ali3nboyfriend]

it's important to remember that dogs are predators (some of them large predators) that can be dangerous and to treat them accordingly. yes, even dogs you know. yes, even dogs you know really well. yes, even your own dogs. if you ever take it for granted that a dog couldn't hurt someone then you're putting the dog, yourself, and other people in danger.

but you can remember that and live by that without it damaging your relationship with dogs. in fact, it makes the relationship even better: instead of treating them like babies, you are meeting them in a place of respect. this is especially helpful whenever you get a new dog, because you go into this new partnership knowing that you have to take certain steps (training, socialization, etc) that will not only make things safer and easier for everyone involved, but will also help ease any anxieties or fears the animal might have.

people take just about any animal for granted, especially animals you can purchase as pets, and dogs get a lot of shit they don't deserve because of it. you are not entitled to dogs. they're not human babies. treating them like they are makes their anxieties worse, encourages reactive behaviors, and unnecessarily puts people at risk of their reactive behaviors. meeting them where they are and being willing to put work into them if you are their handler and if you're not listening to their handlers' wishes in regards to them will give them much happier lives in the long run.

[mi6011ikepearson]

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SHOT 1 - “URGENT!”

combining elements from my design process; I storyboarded the concept of having an glass alarm, with spinning lights, rise from the bottom of the screen; as warning tape frantically spins strings across the foreground - covering a majority of the screen, and acting as a transition into the next shot as a cover for the “net-positive” balance/scale.

the transition was one of the things I’m most proud of in my whole animation; with it syncing perfectly to the next scene, it was a joy to animate - and figuring out the best way to achieve this effect in a 3D environment was a well-worth brainteaser, due to how nicely the shot turned out.

AN ALARM, AND A CAUTIONARY WEB - “THE PROCESS OF MAKING”

I started by making the alarm, itself. I’m extremely proud of the final result - as it is an asset that both achieves the corporate style I aimed for, as well as looks really good!

simplicity was my main focus, here - and I decided on a design that was readable as an “alarm” without being too generic;

I decided to decorate the alarm, somewhat from my original design, when in Maya; with the addition of text plates which has been bolted onto the sides, as well as strips of warning tape around the perimeter of the base - as I felt this enhanced the design of the asset, further.

the alarm consists of three major elements:

the glass cover,

the base

and the spinning lights

I opted for making my own textures, as funnily enough the presets were not corporate-looking enough, in my opinion - and didn’t work with as well, with the lighting set-up I had constructed

I opted for more of a frosted glass-esque design for the glass cover of the alarm, as normal glass allowed the light to pass through too easily - and had an unwanted effect on the environment: as the spinning lights were causing singular frames of red light to appear, where they shouldn’t - so I adjusted the exposure accordingly.

the hardest part of this was animating the spinning lights, but after a Maya crash - I decided to just parent them to the rod, and make that spin instead; which although somewhat janky, is not noticeable in the final outcome, in my opinion, due in part to the frosted glass, but mostly because the transition covers the falling alarm, imperfections included..

I used a lot of size and perspective tricks to make the strings of emergency tape look more exaggerated; to add to the cartoony aesthetic of (the majority of) the film. animating them was easy, as after modelling them using the multi-cut tool, and texturing each box, I expanded them on the x-axis, making them longer, while moving them in the direction of expansion; a form of squash-and-stretch, to create the illusion of them being moved, at speed.

BEAUTY SHOTS - “ALTERNATE ANGLES OF THE SCENE AT PLAY”

all in all, I think this is one of my strongest shots in the film.

I think that is serves its purpose as being an interesting and visually stimulating establishing shot, that sets the tone for the rest of the animation, in all the best ways.

if i were to redo the shot, in a different project, I would have implemented specular lights through slightly opaque cone assets, that showcased the beams of light, shining from the alarm - but due to the brief, not allowing us to alter the audio, or timings of Ichioka’s voice, I think the shot, created is the better option

EXPLAINING THE SHOT - “JUSTIFYING ITS EXISTENCE”

for too long have people excuses to remain unaware, and turn a blind eye to the atrocities that go on by removing themselves from the issue at hand, rather than face it head on..

“it’s just a part of daily life, in the world we live in; we can’t change that!”, 

“it’s all corporate nonsense! climate change is a myth the earth is still cold, so how can global warming be real?!?”, 

“it’s not like my effort alone will make a difference, anyway..” 

this, and many more much like it, are the words of defeatists, who refuse to take accountability for our species’ actions.

when push comes to shove, it’s important to move with a sense of urgency - and that was the most important thing for me, when I was designing this shot: I wanted to convey the desperation in Ichioka’s pleas for a better future, the alarm comes in with energy, the tape stretching to the next shot does so with extreme urgency - to showcase that time is truly of the essence, here..

[mmprviolet]

Rise of the Beasts: The Dream

(Spoilers; based on headcanons i have of the film); eventual Cheetor x OC.

I stood on the platform of the temple, as a light breeze sent shivers across my arms. Outside the markets were still open, catch that last bit of sunlight. To my right the builders were finishing what they could of their work. New temples to store of food for the coming months. I was done with my lessons; I spent that whole day writing what i saw.

For generations my family ruled over this kingdom. It was told we were descended from a simple farmer who, after a drought, shot a bow and arrow into the clouds. Bringing much needed rain. Over time, what was once a village expanded into a city. We had wars, though none in mine nor my parents years. Likely because we had help from our friends.

We believed them, the giant creatures that protected us, to be sent by the Gods. One a normal day they roamed around disguised as the local fauna. You couldn't tell them apart...you have to look very closely at the fine details.

But on other good days - and bad - they transformed into other things. They walked on two legs, like us, though not with skin or organs. Theirs were of a much different material, harder than stone and smoother than bronze. You could still catch pieces of the animal parts placed on discreet areas of their bodies. They came with weapons far to complicated for me to describe but they rarely used them. That was a good thing. War frightened me.

Aside from that they were friendly. They helped any way they could, as healers and hunters and teachers or simply a shoulder to cry on. They expressed the same emotions we did, cried and laugh and mourned. And loved.

I heard a big cat growl from behind me. I wasn't afraid. We played this game multiple times. But I still pretended to be oblivious as I allowed the beast to approach me.

It lunged.

Quickly I darted out the way confusing the beast. Its eyes went from cunning to surprised as I let out a laugh. The big cat reared back its spotted hinges and crept towards me again. I hid behind my bed eyeing the beast still grinning. Big cat lunged again. I avoided its paws stepping off to the side. We danced around like this for minutes. Each time it tried to ensnare me I managed to evade its capture.

Finally, i allowed it to swoop me up. I felt its weight on my back as it straightened itself up so it wouldn't smoosh me too much. Because of how it was built it was far heavier than normal animals.

"Caught ya," it huffed in my ear in triumph.

"Only because I let you," I retort with a smirk. I shifted until I was facing its green eyes. "You have to know i don't taste very good, I might make you sick."

"It's worth the risk," it replied before nuzzling its maw into my neck. I couldn't help but sigh. Its pulsing frame and soft purring sending different kinds of shivers through me. We stayed like this taking in each other's warmth...

Until a shrill alarm awoke Destiny from her sleep. Angered she slapped the snooze button and dragged the covers over herself. The tiny Brooklyn bedroom was still dark. She wanted nothing more than to stay in her domain. But she had to get up and get ready for work.

Work...if she was royalty she never had to work. Just like the Princess in her dreams. Minus the cheetah of course. She didn't want dirty wild animals anywhere near her. After a quick shower she put on a pink t shirt and hot pink smoking pants, and went into the kitchen to fix herself some cereal. The tv was still on, the morning news talking about some event that happened in Africa. Animal trafficking. While Destiny didn't like animals she still despised the idea of taking them from their homes to be cooped up in some rich white lady's house.

In what was now Peru, there were ruins of a once proud city. The evidence were a few temples left standing. At the bottom of the largest one a seal glowed hot green.

[ag-celestina-gorillaz]

Daisies and Daffodolls Day 17: Book Series

Sorry I've been MIA a lot. I've been busy doing sewing stuff (next photo challenge I'll prepare a few weeks in advance). But anyways, I took a pic of Celestina in what would be her meet outfit. Celestina's story is different in many ways than other AG characters. For one thing, she's my Gorillaz OC as well, so her story involves some Gorillaz lore as well, and her story starts at age 11 in middle school in 2016 and goes to at least 2020 when she's 15. Basic outline, Celestina is a cheerful creative girl living in Orbitz Ohio. She was raised by her mom Sharon and her stepmom Mia, (they got married in 2015 when gay marriage became legal in the US), and her dad is Stuart "2-D" Pot, the lead singer of the British band Gorillaz. In her story, Celestina faces many changes, such as her Mom starting a new paramedic job, her dad returning to England to reunite with the rest of Gorillaz to record Humanz, as well as starting her first year in middle school. I'm actually planning to write a whole book, maybe more, about Celestina, and post the chapters here on tumblr. I think I'll go ahead and post the first chapter here as a preview, but I'll post the full story later, maybe with illustrations.

Summary - It's the year 2016, and Celestina is starting her first year of middle school.  While she's excited for a fresh start of the new year, she's also nervous.  School uniforms, more classes, more teachers, and new classmates.  Unfortunately, the school year starts out on a sour note, she barely shares any classes with her best friend, and in homeroom class, she gets paired up with Lucy Phillips, a cold, aloof, yet mysterious, new girl from Britain.  Meanwhile, things aren't easier at home either, her dad ends up returning to the UK to reunite with his fellow band members to record their next album, and her mom begins work at her new paramedic job.  But when Celestina begins to get close with Lucy, the new girl's iciness starts to melt, and they both learn they have more in common than they thought.  

Celestina's Family and Friends

Celestina Damon - An excitable 11 year old girl starting her first year of middle school in the year 2016.  

Sharon Damon - Celestina's mother, a practical, but cheerful, lady.  She starts working a new job as a paramedic.  

Mia Lucci - Sharon's wife and Celestina's stepmother, a funny and kind woman, she's always there when Celestina needs advice.  She runs and works at The Leaning Tower of Pizza pizzeria with her twin sister Gina.  

Stuart "2-D" Pot - Celestina's father, and lead singer of the British band Gorillaz.  He isn't quite wired like other people, but in his own 2-D way, he's very deep, and he's also got a big heart.  Despite the troubles that come with being a long distance parent, he loves Celestina immensely and tries to be in her life as much as possible.  

Kailey Green - Celestina's next door neighbor and best friend since childhood.  A smart and sweet girl, if a little awkward.  A self proclaimed theater nerd.  Often gives Celestina the nickname "Lessie".

Lucy Phillips - A new girl in Celestina's homeroom, who's family arrived from Britain.  She seems mysterious and comes off as cool and guarded, but in reality, she's a little shy, and becomes much kinder and sweeter once you get to know her.  

Chapter 1

New Year, New School, New Hope

The alarm clock on the bedside table chirped on and on as Celestina Damon slept in, nestled in her soft, pastel colored, blankets.  She was dreaming a wonderful dream; Celestina, rocking a sparkly, purple, galaxy print dress, was singing in front of a sold out crowd on her first performance.  Fans in the crowd were holding handmade signs and cheering her name.  Here she is posing for pictures with fans!  There she is signing autographs!  She finishes her last song of the show, wishing the audience a good night.  The crowd erupted into a thunderous roar of applause, fans shouting her name "Celestina!  Celestina!  Celestina! -"

"CELESTINA!!! WAKE UP!!!"  

That did it!  At the sound of her mom's voice, the young girl jolted up from her bed with a start. "Gah!" she exclaimed.  Her wavy blue hair was messy and needed brushing, and she was no longer clad in galaxy print, but rather, blue and white pajamas with panda bears printed all over.  Celestina ground the sleep out of her eyes and smashed the "stop" button on her alarm. 

"Okay, I'm awake Mom!" said Celestina, slightly irritated.  Her mom chuckled.

"Hey, if I let you have your way, you'd be asleep until lunchtime." laughed Mom.  "I told you not to stay up too late."

"I didn't stay up late!" Celestina protested, "I'm just, not used to waking up this early."  She was kinda right.  Today was the first day of the new school year, after three months of staying up and sleeping in later than usual, it can be hard to get back on a schedule.  

"Fair enough," said Mom, "but I can't always be around to make you wake up, especially now, you understand?"  Celestina nodded.  What her mom had meant was that she just got hired to work as a paramedic at a new ambulance company, which meant that some days she had to go in early.  Unfortunately, it also means that she would come home later after working many hours, some nights possibly after when Celestina was supposed to go to bed.  Luckily, today was only her orientation, which wouldn't start for a few hours, so her Mom could drop her off on her first day of school, but she was still dressed in her work uniform, black boots, navy blue pants with lots of pockets, and a wine red shirt with the ambulance's logo embolized on the left breast, and her curly blonde hair was tied up in a long ponytail.  

Speaking of uniforms.  Not only was Celestina starting her first day of school, but it's the first day of a new school, specifically, middle school.  Okay, so technically this school is a combo middle and high school, so not only does she have to deal with the 7th and 8th graders, but also all the high schoolers as well.  And all the students have to wear uniforms.  Actually, the uniform itself wasn't that bad, it was pretty cute, the top was a rich shade of purple with a white collar and ribbon, and a white pleated skirt that fell below the knees, had a "sailor suit" sorta look to it, kinda like what an anime character would wear.  All the same, Celestina couldn't understand why she just couldn't just wear her regular clothes to school, you know, like everyone did in elementary school.  Sigh, another change to have to get used to.  Mom caught Celestina eyeing her uniform.  

"Well get dressed, hon." said Mom, "And come downstairs for breakfast.  I think Mia made some chocolate chip pancakes!"  Mmm, just the thought of those pancakes made Celestina's mouth water.  

"Okay, you win." laughed Celestina, giving her mom a hug.  "I'll be down in a few."  After Mom had left the room, Celestina got dressed, brushed and pulled her long wavy blue hair into a ponytail, using a hairband with two pink poofballs on it.  Before she left to go downstairs, she looked toward the corner of her room, and saw Scratchy, her fluffy gray bunny, stirring around in her cage.  

"Hey there Scratchy!" she cooed, giving the bunny little pats.  She then slipped a little chew treat for her to play with.  "Be good while I'm at school, okay?" 

The young girl grabbed her backpack, filled to the brim with school supplies, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.  The aroma of chocolate chip pancakes and maple syrup filled the room.  Mom had seated herself at the kitchen table, eating her small stack of pancakes, and Mia, Celestina's stepmom, was busy flipping the pancakes at the stove.  Her mother, Sharon, and Mia have only been married for less than a year, but Mia has lived with Celestina and her Mom her whole life.  They probably would have married sooner had it been allowed before last year!  Mia is a pretty lady, tall, tan skin, and shiny dark brown hair, and she's a great cook.  Her and her sister Gina (Aunt Gina to Celestina), run a pizza place called Leaning Tower of Pizza.  

"Pancakes, comin' up!" shouted Mia to Celestina.  Mia still spoke with a New York accent, despite the fact that she's been living in Ohio for at least 15 years.  She served the girl her pancakes before sliding her own onto a plate.  Celestina took her breakfast to the table and poured on the sweet maple syrup.  She cut a piece and took a bite, mmmm, was so good.  Her smile fell slightly looking around the room.  She couldn't get used to the empty space at the table.  

"What's wrong?" asked Mia, noticing Celestina's frown, "Don't you like chocolate pancakes?"

"I LOVE them!" exclaimed Celestina. "I just wish Dad was here to have some."  Mia and Susan exchanged a look of understanding. 

"You miss him don't you." said Mia.  Celestina nodded. 

"Yup!" said Celestina.  It was actually more than that.  She paused a bit, trying to think of how to put it into words, "I mean, I dunno, I guess I'm also a bit worried, you know, about him leaving again."  Celestina's eyes looked down at her pancakes.  Talking about stuff like that always made her uneasy.  

Celestina's dad, her whole family life in general really, was, well, unusual to say the least.  For one thing, her parents weren't married when her mom had her, in fact, they split up shortly before Sharon found out she was pregnant.  Whatever, no biggie, there are lots of kids whose parents are like that, people who have children before they got married, or had kids and didn't stay together.  However, it was even more complicated in Celestina's case, because her mom is American and her dad is British, meaning it's harder for her to see her dad on a regular basis because he lives so far away.  Also, her dad is famous.  Celestina's father is none other than Stuart Pot, better known as 2-D, the lead singer of Gorillaz.  Yes, that 2-D!  It's been awhile since the band did any songs together though, the last album, Plastic Beach, was released when Celestina was 5, but a couple years before that, something else happened, and that's what worried Celestina.  For a short while after Celestina was born, 2-D would often call the house to say hi, sometimes even visit.  But after a visit that Dad made sometime when she was 3, he had gone on a trip somewhere, and suddenly vanished.  Her mom tried to keep calm around her when she asked where Dad was, but even as a kid, Celestina could kinda tell that her Mom was worried about him.  The sudden release of a new Gorillaz album didn't help either.  At one point, her Mom told her stories that 2-D and Murdoc Niccals, the band's foul mouthed, green skinned, bassist, were taken by pirates and trapped on an island called Plastic Beach, an island in the middle of the ocean made of garbage and spray painted pink.  Looking back, Celestina wasn't sure if this all really happened or if this was something Mom was making up, but she knew something happened that made her dad unable to contact her for awhile.  Shortly before Celestina was 8, her dad had called her on the phone for the first time in years.  

"Celestina, is that you?" said 2-D in his thick Londoner accent, "You sound so big!  How old are you now?"

"I'm gonna be 8, Dad!" answered Celestina proudly, "I'm a big kid!" 

"8!?  Wow!  You really grew up!" exclaimed 2-D, Celestina could hear the tears caught in his throat. "I've missed you so much!" 

After a brief vacation, or "holiday" as her dad called it, in Guadalupe, he visited Celestina and the family for the first time in a while, right in time for her 8th birthday.  And since then, he had been able to keep in better contact, and came to visit Celestina in person more often these last few years, as if to make up for missing out for those last 5 years.  She even got to fly with him to England one time and met her grandparents, David and Rachel Pot, for the first time at the amusement park that Grandpop had owned.  This year, 2-D stayed in the guest room for a few months, he was able to keep Celestina company during the summer while Sharon was taking paramedic classes, and Mia was working at Leaning Tower.  2-D had been helping Celestina with her budding interest in music, teaching her how to play her new blue Melodica, a small keyboard with a flute-like pipe in it.  When they weren't practicing, the father daughter duo would watch scary zombie movies, or listen to some older Gorillaz songs on Celestina's old CD player.  On June 23rd, the whole family, and a few of Celestina's friends from school, celebrated her 11th birthday with a bonfire cookout in the backyard.  It was a wonderful summer.

But all this fun and excitement of summer had to come to an end.  It was now time for school, and just as well, Dad left to go back to England, rather suddenly at that.  Somehow, one of his old band mates, Noodle, the guitarist and the only girl in the band, (and Celestina's favorite band member, next to Dad of course), ended up getting back in contact with him.  Apparently, the band was getting back together to make a new album called Humanz, which would be released sometime next year.  Like always, Celestina was sad to see him leave, but she was also worried too, maybe because a part of her is scared he would go missing again.  

Sharon put a comforting hand on Celestina's shoulder.  "It'll be okay," she reassured her daughter, "He said he's gonna text us when he arrives to meet the others.  Plus, he said you can visit him during spring break."  

"I know," nodded Celestina.  She finishes up her pancakes, thinking about everything going on.  Mom's starting a new job, Dad's going back to England, I'm starting a new year in a new school, and we have to wear uniforms!  So far so good, she thought sarcastically.  She rinsed her dirty plate in the sink and slipped on her black flats to meet Mom out in the car.

"Are we taking Kailey today?" asked Mom.  Kailey Green is Celestina's best friend and next door neighbor.  

"No, Mrs. Green wanted to take her this morning," answered Celestina, "but she's picking both of us up after school."

"Okay, good," said Mom, "let's get going, you don't wanna be late," she checks her watch "and neither do I!" she laughed.  Celestina gave Mia a hug goodbye.

"Have a good day at school, rockstar." said Mia lovingly.  "I'm coming home from Leaning Tower about an hour after you get home from school, okay girlie."

"'Kay 'kay, I got it." smiled Celestina.  She gives Mia a fist bump, complete with a little explosion sound effect.  

"You have a good day at school," then she turns to Mom "And good luck with orientation Sharon."  Mom gives Mia a loving kiss on the cheek.  

"Bye honey," said Mom grabbing her keys.  "I should be home by dinner tonight."  Celestina and her mother wave goodbye to Mia before getting in the car.  As Sharon drove on to the school, Celestina sat in her seat nervously, her breakfast doing flip flops in her stomach.  

"Are you doing okay back there?" asked Sharon, looking at her daughter in the rearview mirror.

"I dunno," she answered.  "Honestly, I'm pretty nervous.  Middle school sounds kinda scary.  All these classes, new teachers, ugh, no recess, school uniforms," she grimaced.  She had so many thoughts, so many "what-if's", that they started coming out one after another.  "What if I don't like my teachers?  What if me and Kailey don't have any classes together?  What if all the classes are too hard?  What if I get bullied by the older kids?  What if -" 

"Celestina!" said Mom suddenly, "sweetie, sweetie, it's alright." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I know this isn't something you want to hear, but I kinda know how you feel.  I was nervous starting middle school when I was your age.  And, if I'll be fully honest, I can relate to how you're feeling right now.  I'm a bit nervous starting this new job."

Celestina looked up in surprise, "You are?" she wondered.  "But you said you were excited."  Mom gave Celestina a loving smile.

"And I am," answered Sharon, "But I have so many mixed feelings.  I'm worried I won't be good enough, I'm worried the boss could be a jerk, or that I won't like my co-workers.  So many things can go wrong.  But," she paused before continuing, "There are also good things I'm looking forward to as well.  I'll be able to use the skills I worked hard learning in all these classes, I'll be able to help people, I'll be bringing home a little more money, which means we will be able to go out more often." she said with a smile.  "It's normal to be scared and nervous, it's okay in fact.  But you also have so many good things to look forward to.  Yes you have more classes, but you get to have more classes you enjoy, like music and art.  And even if you don't have any classes with Kailey, you'll always be able to see her because we're neighbors.  If you're having a problem, whether it's classes, mean kids, or even a mean teacher, you can always come to me or Mia.  I just want you to know, even if the bad things do happen, there are also a lot of good thing to come, I want you to remember that."  Celestina thought over what her mom had said.  She did have a few good points.

"I did hear that the music department puts on a school musical every year," said Celestina, feeling a bit more hopeful, "And there's all these fun clubs".  Sharon's eyes lit up.  

"See, there you go!" said Mom. 

"It just seems like so many things are changing at the same time." Celestina admitted, "it just feels so fast, I feel like I can barely take a breath."  

"I know, it sucks, it really does." said Sharon in an understanding tone.  "The funny thing is, is that the only thing that never changes, is that everything changes."

"That's so confusing to think about!" said Celestina laughing.  

"Ah, but that's the truth," said Sharon with a chuckle.  "But you know what else will never change?"

"No what?" asked Celestina.

"I'll always love you," Mom answered warmly, "The same goes for Mia, and for your dad, we will never stop loving you.  You are our child, and nothing will ever change that."  

"Aw mom, I love you too!" she exclaimed.  At that moment, Celestina's cell phone chirped with a new message.  Oops, better silence it before class, she thought, making a mental note.  But seeing who the message was from made her smile.  

"Ooh I got a text from Dad!" shouted Celestina in excitement.  The text read "i made it to studio 13 in london.  about to start recording for the new album.  I miss you already, but i'm happy to be home again.  russ, noodle and murdoc say hi.  say hi to your mum for me.  love you little panda bear."  Celestina smiled at the mention of the special nickname her dad gave her.  Attached with the message was a picture.  It was a group photo of the whole band in what looked like the inside of a recording studio.  Celestina had yet to meet the other band members in person, but she knew who they were from the music videos and interview clips on YouTube, and from a few stories from her dad.  There was Murdoc Niccals, the band's bassist, and probably the biggest troublemaker of the band.  He has an odd scrunched up nose, and green skin and black hair, sorta made Celestina think of the Gangreen Gang from The PowerPuff Girls.  Then there was Russel Hobbs, the drummer, a heavyset black man from New York, with bright white eyes lacking pupils, a result of being possessed by a demon when he was young.  He seemed to be the voice of reason in the band, and when he speaks in interviews, he has a gentle voice.  Then there was Noodle, the guitarist, and the only girl in the band.  Celestina almost didn't recognize her at first, she's so used to seeing her in the music videos back when she was a kid or a young teen, and now she's a beautiful grown up woman!  Noodle was not much older than Celestina is now when the band released their first album, and according to her dad, when they were first looking for a guitarist, Noodle traveled from Japan all the way to England, in a FedEx delivery crate, and gave such an epic explosive guitar solo, that the band ended up giving her the part on the spot.  Celestina likes to imagine that if they were the same age, she and Noodle would be great friends.  And in the middle of the pic was her dad, 2-D himself.  He's tall and wiry, the tallest of all the band members in fact, he has spikey blue hair, and due to two separate car accidents (which were Murdoc's fault), he lost his front tooth, and his eyes were injured, they now look like blank black circles.  Murdoc gave him the nickname 2-D because his black eyes made it look like he had "two dents'' in his head.  Surprisingly, her dad liked that nickname, at this point, the only people who really call him Stu anymore would be Nana and Grandpop, as well as Sharon and Mia.  People would often describe her dad as, well, not very bright, sometimes saying he's thick and calling him names like "space cadet", but Celestina doesn't like any comments like that.  To Celestina, her dad has his own 2-D way of thinking, and his creativity with making music is where he shines the best, and he's got a kind heart.  In the attached picture, all four band mates were smiling (even Murdoc), and that made Celestina happy, seeing her dad and his old friends all back together.  

"That's great!" said Mom, "What does the message say?" 

"Dad said he got to England safely, he's excited to work on songs again, and that he loves and misses me, plus he sent a pic of him and the rest of the band." said Celestina.  "Oh yeah, Dad says hi, and so does Russ, Noodle, and Murdoc."

"Aw that's awesome!" replied Mom, "See, I figured he would make it there okay.  How do the other three look?"

"Murdoc is as green as ever," Celestina replied with a laugh, "Russel pretty much looks the same, but Noodle looks so different!  She's a grown up lady!"

"Yup, I believe it," said mom with a chuckle.  "Oh man, I haven't seen her since you were a baby, she was still a teenager then.  Grown up so fast, both of you." she said with a sigh.  "It's good they seem to be doing well." She paused, thinking, "I got an idea.  We're almost there, why don't we take a few back-to-school pictures of you when we get there, and you can text them back to your dad?"

"Ooh I'd love that!" said a delighted Celestina.  She was quiet for a bit before continuing.  "Hey, I know I was sad before with Dad leaving, but, well, it's also really cool that the whole band is back together and they'll make more songs again."

"I know, I can't wait to hear them," agreed Mom, "but like I said earlier, it's okay to feel sad about missing him.  Just don't forget that there are also a lot of good things to look forward to."

"I understand," answered Celestina.  Mom had just pulled up to the school.  There it was, Orbitz Public School.  Mom was lining up to park at the entrance where the middle school classes were.  While Celestina had seen the school many times when going on errands with her mom's around town, today the building somehow seemed larger and more intimidating.  Her breath slowed down and her hands grew sweaty the closer they got to the entrance.  Mom had found a parking spot and Celestina nervously left the car, carrying her backpack.  

"This place is way bigger than South Lincoln," remarked Celestina, referring to her elementary school.  Sharon gave Celestina's hand a comforting squeeze.

"I know it's scary," said Mom. "But you got this."  Even though Celestina was still nervous, she somehow felt a bit better with her Mom hyping her up.  

"I got this!" repeated Celestina.

"You're the star of your own stage," encouraged Sharon, "You knock 'em dead!"

"I'll knock 'em dead!" repeated Celestina, feeling pumped.  "Oh yeah, let's get that picture taken to send to Dad" she remembered.  Celestina and Sharon walked around to find a spot with good lighting in the courtyard. 

"Ooh, we can take one here," said Celestina, handing the phone to her mom.  She struck an adorable Sailor Moon style peace sign pose in her new uniform with the school in view in the back.  After the picture got taken, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder.

"Huh," said Celestina, before turning around to see her best friend, "Oh hey there Kailey!"

"Hi Lessie!" greeted Kailey, using the nickname she used for Celestina since they were little.  Kailey was wearing the same purple and white school uniform that Celestina was wearing.  She kept her short brown hair in her natural curls, and her red square glasses framed her blue eyes.  The giggly girls greeted each other with a hug, before realizing that both their moms were standing by with their phones.  

"Smile you two," said Mrs. Green.  Both girls smiled for the camera with their arms around each other.  

"Perfect!" exclaimed Sharon before handing Celestina her phone back.  Celestina then quickly sent both the pics to her dad with a special message.

"So glad you made it home safely Dad.  Mom and Mia say hi back.  Today is me and Kailey's first day of school.  Can't wait to see you again, and maybe meet the rest of the band (even Murdoc lol).  Have fun recording.  Love you lots!  We got this!"

Shortly after she sent it, her dad replied with another quick "I love you", and Kailey got Celestina's attention.

"C'mon Lessie," said Kailey, "We still need to get our schedules."

"Oh my, that's right!" exclaimed Celestina.  "We gotta get going!"  

The girls gave their Moms a quick hug and said goodbye, and headed into the school.  Celestina still felt a bit nervous, but she felt a lot better than this morning.  She headed inside the front doors of the school with Kailey, walking through the purple and white crowd of students, feeling determined to take on the day no matter what happens.  

"Celestina, you're on!" 

[antialiasis]

Worldbuilding June (Pokémon edition), Days 8-12

Whoops forgot to post these for a couple of days, too busy with a load of Things as always.

8. Who rules in your world?

TQftL never brings up government, but each region has its own human government, generally just standard representative democracies similar to what we have in the modern world. Ouen has an elected parliament and president. It's a fairly utopian world with little scarcity and politics play kind of a background role - they keep things running, they have some different parties, but there's low polarization and usually they work pretty smoothly together and have little conflict. The situation in other regions is similar - movement is very free and conflict between them is rare and minor in the grand scheme of things.

QftLverse Pokémon, once again, have their own societies and are not subject to human rule except in a limited way while they're with a trainer, as per the Agreement, an all-encompassing contract dictating how the relationship between humans and Pokémon should work. Different Pokémon species govern themselves differently, but their societies are generally based on smaller self-governing groups. The Scyther society has a single leader, who is meant to be the simply strongest in the swarm, and anyone can challenge them to a duel to the death to take their place at any time.

The Morphicverse is once again close to Earth, with different countries having different modes of government. The Poké-USA's politicical climate resembles the actual USA's political climate in ~2007, but if I ever wrote references to the current president I wouldn't make him an outright Bush expy or anything, beyond being from the conservative one of the two highly polarized parties.

9. What religions and myths/legends exist in your world?

The QftLverse's human society is basically post-religious. Legendary Pokémon are revered, but not worshipped - people don't pray to them, ascribe natural phenomena to them, expect them to watch over them personally, perform symbolic rituals associated with them, etc. That said, humans do have myths concerning them - not always accurate ones. The story describes the human myth behind one set of legendaries early on before the reality much later turns out to have been fairly different, for instance.

QftLverse Pokémon have their own myths, legends, religions and beliefs. The Scyther society explored in the spin-offs has a bit of a vague mythology going on explaining the sun, moon, stars and clouds, but it's not very important to them, more of a just-so story. Meanwhile, they live by a system of ethics known as the Code that they consider sacred and all-important, though it doesn't have a godly figure behind it as the source of it, only a philosophy. Other Pokémon might variously have straight-up religion (whether worshipping legendary Pokémon or something else), be entirely areligious, or something in between; most will have myths and legends in some form, though.

The Morphicverse has a form of Christianity, which is functionally a lot like ours; this also means they had a version of Judaism. Other specific religions don't come up, but they'd at the very least be as varied as real-world religions. Like in real life, there are many sects and variants, and as many individual interpretations of faiths as there are people. The villain cult in particular has fringe views that in no way resemble the mainstream. And like in real life, many people nominally believe but don't really practice their religion, and many are agnostic or atheist.

Legendary Pokémon in the Morphicverse are cryptids - there are myths and legends about them, and people think they're neat, write fiction and make movies about them all the time, but in the modern day, actually-for-real believing that they exist out there ranges from mildly eccentric to entirely unthinkable. Worship of legendary Pokémon exists, but in the way that modern neo-Paganism does. It's not remotely mainstream, generally seen as a weird hippie thing, and the notion of Arceus appearing in the flesh one day and declaring he created the universe is about as fantastical to most people as the notion of the Norse pantheon doing the same in our world.

10. What traditions are observed in your world?

QftLverse human traditions are mostly just secular holidays - commemorations of important days in the region's history, etc. It's tradition for most children to go out on a Pokémon journey the spring after they turn ten years old, and participate in a First-Timers' League in the autumn if they manage to stick it out for the whole journey and collect all the badges - there are kids who don't, but it's rare for them to not want to, and other kids may see them as no fun.

Every year in Green Town, there is a Pokémon Festival originally built around the legendary Pokémon Chaletwo's yearly brief visit to the outskirts of the city (which may or may not be ditched in the next revision); it hosts a number of Pokémon-themed events over several days. One of them is a starter Pokémon giveaway, where most kids go to get official starter Pokémon, who have specifically volunteered and been trained to work with beginning trainers - though many kids have had Pokémon as pets/partners since they were young and journey with them instead, or their parents otherwise get them a Pokémon who's up for a beginning trainer. (Many Pokémon kind of like the idea of journeying with a beginning trainer, in the way that many people like the idea of getting a kitten rather than an adult cat - just something special about having been with them from the start. Though getting a starter who's actually been trained to deal with kids is recommended over just finding any random enthusiastic Pokémon.)

Pokémon have all kinds of different traditions. The Scyther society as explored in the spin-offs has a number of traditions and rituals, including a sort of blood baptism of new hatchlings, the leader of the swarm teaching all the adolescent Scyther about the Code, and First Prey, where each of the adolescents is sent out to hunt prey on their own for the first time, with a male and female witness following, so they can prove their ability to kill and to feed themselves. Afterwards, they're expected to publicly offer a symbolic piece of the meat of their first prey to some members of the swarm, and doing so signals respect; you don't technically have to, but in practice everyone always offers it to the leader and not doing so would be taken as outright disrespect.

The Morphicverse is once again culturally similar to the real world and has mostly similar sorts of traditions. Pokémon training is less culturally ingrained there, but still a very common hobby for kids.

11. What are some ways people communicate with pokémon in your world, or pokémon with each other?

In the QftLverse, humans learn to understand Pokémon speech as a mandatory subject at school. Pokémon inherently understand human speech, but they speak anime-style, usually in syllables of their species' name (which is what the species are named after). They share one language, which is not based on exactly what the syllables are but the tone and the way they're combined, hence why it works regardless of the species.

In the current version of the fic, this is pure handwave worldbuilding: it's established that it happens at school at the beginning, and then we just move on to the story, where every human simply understands what Pokémon are saying at all times. In the next revision I'd give a bit more proper worldbuilding attention to it - let the language barrier be a little more present, humans vary in exactly how good they are at it (luckily it's already the main character's best subject at school), and otherwise treat it less like it's just an excuse to act like Pokémon speak English.

In the Morphicverse, Pokémon do communicate but they don't do complex communication - instead, it's closer to the sort of communication most animals do in the real world. They can express how they're feeling, draw attention to something interesting, sound the alarm about something scary, ask another Pokémon to follow, and can do this in a somewhat more efficient and intelligent way than most animals generally do. But one way or another, they don't communicate complicated abstract ideas, neither to humans nor to one another. Pokémon don't automatically understand human speech here, though they're very quick learners when it comes to commands, and they can pick up a fair amount just by being around humans, allowing them to get the gist of basic statements and requests without being explicitly taught them, though anything abstract would still be entirely lost on them. You could tell a Pokémon you've lived with for years "I lost my hat, can you help me find it" and they'll go look for your hat, but they'd be lost if you tried to ask them for anything much more complicated than that.

12. What is the gym circuit or adventuring organization like in your world?

In the QftLverse, gyms are meant to be taken on in a specific order and gym leaders are accordingly expected to keep their Pokémon below a certain level. To be officially sanctioned by the League, a gym needs to have a theme - usually a type, although Rick got away with a legendary theme because he gets away with everything because he is hypnotizing League officials with his Mewtwo super-clone I was twelve years old. Every year there's a First-Timers' League in the autumn in each region, where new trainers who have collected all eight badges of their region face off (except for the bit where I somehow made a guy who'd been training for years be part of it without thinking about it properly). There's also a global Old-Timers' League for more experienced trainers, which crowns a world champion; this doesn't involve badges and is just a tournament. Trainers are advised to stick to official routes, while Pokémon who want a trainer seek out the routes and others avoid them; going off-route has the potential to lead to run-ins with Pokémon who are more hostile to humans. It's not forbidden but it's drilled into kids' heads that you're not supposed to.

The Morphicverse's gym circuit is not too dissimilar to that, but gym leaders are expected to carry a variety of Pokémon teams to take on challengers of different skill levels, who can take on the gyms of their circuit in any order. Kid trainers are strictly meant to travel only along official routes, which are thoroughly monitored to be safe, and often take public trainer transportation; when they're eighteen they can get an adult trainer license with which they can take their Pokémon anywhere they like, at their own risk. Mostly kids do it as a hobby, and many young children dream of being professional trainers, but only a fraction are actually good enough to make money off it, so most either quit it after a few summers on realizing it's not for them (they might release their Pokémon or keep them as pets, depending on how high-maintenance they are), or continue to do it as a side hobby. There exist college-level training schools for those who really want to dedicate their lives to it, but by that point in time most people will have dropped their pro trainer dreams.

[momoliee]

Ch 43 and why I think xqc was both right and wrong for…what he said in those videos.

On why I think what he did can be justified :

Here we have to consider xqc’s background. Xqc’s parents were brutally murdered because of their line of work. As police officers, they were investigating a dangerous case and because of this case that they were investigating, they ended up being killed in a horrendous way. When they died, they left behind a 13 year old son and a 5 year old daughter, who neither had money nor relatives to take care of them. Their two kids had to suffer and go through a lot because their parents chose to not put into consideration the danger they were putting themselves in when they picked up the case. This, of course, traumatized xqc. He suddenly had to care for his sister, care for himself, make money to put food on the table, etc etc (I’ve already written a meta on this). It also gave him nightmares, seeing his beloved parents’ bodies crushed that way and all, and I dare say, Xqc might have suffered from a case of ptsd because of the incident.

So when he saw the video of Qin Ciyan being murdered, murdered because of his career and work, all his triggers were set off at once. Qin Ciyan, sacrificing everything for his line of work, Qin Ciyan leaving behind a daughter and a wife, Qin Ciyan being murdered in a very gore-y sort of way. It set off all his alarms, probably causing an immense shock that resulted in him taking a violent step backwards. He suddenly thought, the guy who killed Qin Ciyan was a mentally ill patient, and I deal with mentally ill patients all the time. What if I die like that too? Is this career worth it? Where would Xie Xue and my wife go if I’m gone? What will happen to them? Isn’t that exactly what happened to my parents? Aren’t I, too, putting myself in danger for my career even tho I have people who are dependent and reliant on me?

And so xqc treated that patient in the hospital the way he did. And he resigned the way he did. And he said all the words that he did. And he decided to cut off he yu the way he did. It was all…a trauma response. Trauma that he never properly healed and progressed and moved past, trauma that’s so bottled and stuffed in without any room to be let out, just suddenly coming out and biting him in the ass.

Now why I think everything he did and said was wrong, despite being justified :

First of all, mentally ill patients should never, ever, be demonized, treated as some sort of lowly animals that can’t be controlled, and especially not by a certified psychologist. As xqc himself once said, they are normal people who have been placed in abnormal environments and so had no choice but to develop a mindset that’s different from others. Of course, there are those who are BORN mentally ill, who are the way they are from the moment they came out of the womb.

Here is the thing tho : all mentally ill patients are victims. They are victims of their own disorders and illnesses, they suffer because of these illnesses more than anyone around them does. Because THEY are the ones experiencing the illness, THEY are the ones battling it and fighting it on a constant daily based. They are the ones who have to treat their own brains and minds as their biggest enemy.

Nevertheless, there ARE patients who are a danger on society. There are patients who will put others at the risk of harm. And those patients are dealt with in special means and ways. When being treated, everything is done to ensure the doctor’s and the patient’s safety. There are people standing ready with sedatives, there are special wards to accommodate them and avoid triggering them, and there are special ways of treating them, understanding their minds and brains, why they do what they do, what drives them to possibly harm others, and how that can be controlled, checked, and dealt with. There are ways to teach them how to deal with their illness, how to control their impulses, and how to coexist with others in society without harming themselves or those around them.

Qin Ciyan’s case was an exception that shouldn’t have been generalized. The son of the woman who died, might have been a mentally ill patient; however, he was an untreated patient who never stepped into the office of a psychologist that could have helped him. He lived his whole life like that, with his mother never telling him that his actions are wrong or trying to redirect him, in extreme poverty too, not even knowing that he was mentally ill or different from others. Most patients like him, don’t even realize that they’re suffering from a disease unless they’re told by a professional that they are. I bet his mother herself didn’t know that her son was mentally ill. The blame here lies on society for not educating the citizens more on mental health, and instead just treating it as a taboo topic and stamping it with harmful and demonizing stereotypes. So if the son’s actions and lash out was to be blamed on his illness, then we shouldn’t blame him. Rather, we should blame his circumstances, his poverty, the ignorance of society on the topic of mental health that allowed him to go on for so long without realizing he needed proper treatment. It is an exceptional case. Not a general one. Not every day the relative of a patient of yours who died comes barging in and stabbing you with knives.

But here’s the thing, it was later proven that, despite being mentally ill, he was completely sane during the time of the murder. Which showed that the murder wasn’t done because his illness caused him to lash out and lose control and be unable to distinguish between right and wrong. It was done because of his own vengeful intentions and wrath. If that’s the case, then why should all mental health patients be blamed for HIS decisions and actions? Why should they all be categorized into the same “can’t control themselves, might kill you at any time” box for a decision that one of them made when he was in a fully sane mindset? How is it their fault? Why didn’t xqc take the fact that he was sane at the time of the incident as any other resident when he chose to say the things he said?

Xqc, for anyone who DOESNT know about your background and what you’ve been through and why you reacted the way you did, of course they will call you a hypocrite! Because xqc, psychologists always get to choose their patients, and if they feel like they can’t handle a certain patient or their expertise isn’t enough to be able to treat said patient, they can easily transfer this patient to a more qualified and confident psychologist. Because xqc, when psychologists are dealing with a patient whom they deemed as dangerous and can suddenly lose control, they deal with such patients with utmost care and control, setting up so many precautions to ensure that no side is harmed during the treatment, at any given moment in time. Because at the end of the day, as a psychologist who must’ve treated countless patients before, you should know that every patient is unique, every patient has a story, every patient has a trigger. They all can’t be generalized into one category. Every case is different. Because as you yourself once said, isolating them from society and keeping them away from everyone else and treating them like some time bomb actually does more harm than good. Such treatment only triggers them further, hurts them further, and dehumanizes them in a discriminatory way. So of course such a video would paint you as a hypocrite, a doctor who lies to his patients, and someone whose previous patients can no longer trust or listen to.

If you wanted to be ‘safe’ for the sake of your family, you could’ve calmly stated that you are no longer qualified or able to deal with those patients with a sound mind anymore as the incident has affected you deeply, instead of going back on all your previous words and doing exactly what you yourself said people shouldn’t do when it comes to mentally ill patients. That’s probably what your colleagues thought when they heard you.

I rest my case by saying that I love xqc to bits, that although this analysis was highly criticizing, I still understand that he himself is a victim that shouldn’t be blamed for his trauma response. Also whatever reaction or treatment he yu will give him will be 10000000% justified. Also I love meatbun for managing to write smth so complicated and intricate and deep and full of layers that can’t be understood unless peeled carefully.

[offspring-of-calliope]

Oneshot #1: BillDarcy (Soulmate AU)

Description: A soulmate AU where the first words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you reach the age of 16. It's BillDarcy in the canon era. Slightly angsty but also sweet with a happy ending.

words: 3411

A/N: Am I procrastinating because I should write so many other things? Maybe. Do I regret anything? Maybe but in my defense, I feel like there is a lack of BillDarcy fanfics and I really need to improve my English skills, so... that's a semi-good reason for writing this. It would be nice if you left a comment (maybe also on grammar/spelling mistakes).

I hope you enjoy (because strangely, I don't think that it's that bad).

Sincerely, me,

Lélodie

-----

The softly swaying music was the only thing that kept Darcy sane in this stuffy room. Some people were crowded on the dance floor, dancing intimately close with their partners, whereas others stood around in their fancy suits and dresses, behaving as if they were the most important individuals on earth.

Darcy sighed and held on tighter to his glass of sprinkling water, searching for something to get his mind off the fact that everything here was fake. In the beginning, he hadn't exactly been opposed to the idea of accompanying his father to this big event that was hosted by William Randolph Hearst. But he had soon realised that he literally felt trapped in between all these people. He wanted nothing more than to return to his bedroom and continue to read the latest book he had gotten his hands on. An interesting piece of literature, written by Victor Hugo.

He searched for his father in the crowd, soon finding him being in an animated conversation with another newspaper owner whose name he had forgotten. For a small moment, his father glanced back at him and as if he could read his son's thoughts, he threw him an ominous look. As if to say: “You are staying right where you are, young man.”

Darcy answered with a cautious nod and turned away. That was when he saw him. In a small corner, right next to an open window, stood a boy, who seemed to be as young as himself, staring at the floor and looking obviously out of place. His suit seemed to be too big for his slim body, his short brown hair was drenched in sweat because of the heat and his eyes that appeared quite lively on the one hand, signalised exhaustion on the other hand. Darcy couldn't describe why, but he felt like something in him was dying to get to know this boy. With a last look in his father's direction and a sip from his water, he made up his mind.

It was difficult, getting to the corner where the boy stood. Everywhere were bodies, dancing, standing, swaying, and the general atmosphere made it hard for Darcy to take a breath. But eventually, he ended up beside the boy, who eyed him curiously. Then, he raised his eyebrows, an unspoken question as to why Darcy had come over to him.

“You're looking pretty miserable over here,” Darcy explained, fiddling with the brim of his glass.

The other boy snorted and replied in the most sarcastic tone he could come up with. “Oh, quite the opposite, I actually enjoy being around presumptuous people who hide themselves behind a facade.”

Once again, Darcy wasn't able to breathe but this time for an entirely different reason. He had expected everything but not that. When he was younger, his mother had always told him stories about soulmates. Two people that were so perfect for each other that the universe graced their skin with the first words one would say to the other so that they would be able to recognize the right person when they met them. The words usually appeared when one turned sixteen. The days before Darcy's sixteenth birthday had been torture. He had realised at a very young age that he wasn't able to look at girls the way he was supposed to and he couldn't feel anything but shame and fear. A tiny part of himself had hoped that his soulmate would be a girl and he had simply been confused.

But no. The words that he had memorised ever since he had seen them for the first time had just been spoken. By the boy right in front of him. Who was now looking at him with concern in his eyes. Why was he looking concerned? Why wasn't there recognition in his gaze? Didn't he have Darcy's words as well? Had he just not registered them?

Still a bit stunned, Darcy cleared his throat. “That was really the first thing that came to your mind?”

Now it was the other boy's turn to be confused. “Why? Is there something wrong with what I said?”

“No, no, it's not that,” Darcy assured him quickly. “It just...” Think, Darcy, think. In his head, he cursed his brain for not being able to form coherent thoughts any more. “It just makes me glad I approached you.” He was quite satisfied with this spontaneous explanation because the other boy flashed him a smile that made him feel things he never had experienced before.

“Thank you for the compliment. You are the son of mister Reid, aren't you?”

Darcy nodded and stretched out the hand that wasn't still holding his glass. “Yes. My name is Darcy. And you are?”

“I'm Bill. The unfortunate son of today's host,” Bill introduced himself and shook Darcy's hand.

“Nice to meet you, Bill.” His skin was very soft, Darcy noticed, yet he couldn't help but see faint traces of ink on his fingertips. It made him smirk. Bill's hand was perfect. And it was being pulled away by its owner far too soon. For a moment, the two boys just stood next to each other, observing the room and the people in it. Upon realising that every person in this room, except for Bill, was kind of old, Darcy had an idea. “You appear to be the same age as I am. Are you sixteen as well?”

Bill shook his head. “No. I turned fifteen, two months ago. My mother always tells me that I look older than I am though.”

Darcy hoped that his relief wasn't too obvious. So this whole soulmate thing was not necessarily one-sided, at least regarding the role of the universe. But after this short moment of relief, reality came crashing down on him. Even if Darcy's words appeared on Bill's skin on his sixteenth birthday, that didn't mean that Bill wanted to be with Darcy. Homosexuals were very despised within society and he hadn't ever heard of a same-sex soulmate couple that was openly together. Or maybe that wouldn't bother Bill but he still wouldn't be attracted to Darcy. Was Darcy even attracted to Bill?

At the end of the evening, Darcy completely dismissed the last question. How could he not be attracted to Bill? Bill, who had asked him if he wanted to leave the party to show him his father's printing press, after Darcy mentioned his interest in printing. Bill, who had been so gently when he had adjusted Darcy's spectacles. Bill, whose eyes were big and glistening with joy when he talked about things he loved.

It was like Darcy was falling without having planned to jump.

*

The stars in the sky were especially shiny that night, or maybe that was just Darcy's imagination. He was staring out of the window of Bill's bedroom, sitting on the spare bed and awaiting the moment the clock would strike twelve. Part of him was curious. He wanted to know if Bill would really have his words on his skin. You're looking pretty miserable over here. In addition to Bill's words on his chest, he had his own memorised, repeating them over and over like a prayer.

The other part was afraid. His mind was being flooded with the same questions he had asked himself nearly a whole year long. After the party where they had met each other, Bill and Darcy had started to hang out more and more, sometimes even with Katherine Pulitzer, a childhood friend of Bill's. They had never talked about this whole soulmate topic, at least not when it was just the two of them. Katherine had told them her words at one point but that was it. Darcy had noticed Bill's curious look in his direction when Katherine had asked him if he wanted to share his words. But Darcy had only made a dismissive hand gesture and started to talk about the latest news.

He didn't know what to expect. The only thing he knew was that his body was aching, aching for something that he just couldn't put his finger on.

Suddenly, the room was filled with the faraway sound of ringing bells. It was twelve o'clock. Darcy hadn't gone to sleep the night before his own sixteenth birthday, so he remembered clearly how he had been hugging his knees in anticipation. The abrupt pain in his chest as the universe drew words on his body, his skin, right above his heart. He had wanted to cry. He had known that he wouldn't be able to read with tears in his eyes, however, so he had gripped tight onto the edge of his bed, waiting for the pain to subside. Then, he had run towards his mirror, a flickering candle in his hand, and had nearly ripped off his shirt.

His memories were interrupted by Bill's cry. The other boy had been fast asleep for at least one hour, so Darcy had thought that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be able to feel the pain. Alarmed, he turned his head in the direction of Bill's bed and saw that his best friend was clutching his chest, still half asleep and panting.

“Bill,” Darcy called out, softly, so that he wouldn't wake up Bill's parents. Bill didn't respond. Instead, he was blindly searching for something to hold on to. The blanket, then the bedsheets. “Bill.” As fast as he could, Darcy left the spare bed and ran over towards Bill. Bill, his soulmate who was in pain and whom he couldn't help. “Bill, sh, it's alright, I'm here. It's going to be alright.” Bill's wandering hands were suddenly in reach, so Darcy took them between his own, tenderly, as if Bill was made of glass.

Still gasping for air, Bill seemed to be able to take in his surroundings now. Through half closed eyes, he looked at Darcy, trying to process what he was saying, while holding onto his hands like a lifeline. “Darcy, it hurts, why does it hurt?”

Now, that was a good question. In every story his mother had ever told him about soulmates, she had never once mentioned the pain that came with getting your words. He had felt betrayed and he had told her so afterwards. But she had just hugged him with an encouraging smile and mumbled something along the lines of: “Nobody wants to remember the downsides of the beautiful things.”

“I know. I know that it hurts, but don't worry, Bill. It will stop eventually. I'm here. I'm with you,” Darcy whispered, softly drawing patterns on Bill's palms.

“You won't leave, will you?” A sob escaped Bill's lips and Darcy wondered if the pain was different for everyone. His own chest began to hurt upon seeing Bill like this.

“I won't leave. I promise.” Carefully, he put his arms around Bill, holding him as close as he could, showing him that he wouldn't go away that easily. He could feel Bill trying to hold him tighter but the tiredness and the pain had taken away the strength of his arms.

For a long time, the room was filled with sobs and affectionate words. The sound of the bells was long gone and the intensity of the stars only an obligatory background.

The next morning, Darcy was awoken by Bill's shuffling. He distantly remembered falling asleep in each other's arms, with their legs tangled under the blanket but in retrospect this might've just been a part of a sweet dream. The bed was creaking and he could feel Bill standing up. Muffled sounds escaped Darcy's mouth. He was nevertheless too sleepy to open his eyes. He could hear steps. Fabric being moved. A gasp.

“Everything alright?” Was the only thing he was able to say in his condition. He wondered if being hungover felt like this. It took him some time, but that didn't matter since Bill wasn't responding anyways, before he finally could open his eyes. Only to see the other boy standing in front of his mirror, shirtless, examining a little thread of ink on his skin. He tried hard not to stare. Then it hit him. “You got your words.”

Bill turned away from the mirror, in his direction, and smiled. “You're looking pretty miserable over here,” he recited. “What do you think? Am I gonna meet them when I am coming out of a fight? Maybe I will join a revolution and a time will come when I don't succeed but then I meet them and everything turns out to end good,” Bill speculated, like the dramatic boy he was. Always dreaming about defying laws and doing something great.

It took Darcy embarrassingly long to register that the words on Bill's skin were his own. It took him even longer to realise that Bill had no clue that he had already heard these words before. For a moment, a short little moment that could easily be missed, he contemplated telling him. But he couldn't. Not when Bill started to go on and on about some fictional soulmate, already planning out their lives together. Some fictional soulmate. Some soulmate that wasn't Darcy.

Maybe Darcy should at least tell Bill that he shouldn't get his hopes up. That he shouldn't go through the streets, thinking that he will meet his soulmate. That he should instead go and find a pretty girl to settle down with. But he didn't.

Instead, he just stood up, wished Bill a happy birthday and pretended to be as invested in Bill's soulmate scenarios as the boy himself was.

*

A cool wind was blowing through the streets but that didn't bother Darcy. He was just content with walking an overjoyed Bill home. It was an easy concept. After being persuaded by both Katherine and Bill, all three of them had joined the newsboy's cause and helped typesetting and printing an article to get the working kids of New York to unite. Bill was convinced that he was finally part of a big rebellion, so he nearly began floating with delight. And when Bill was extraordinarily happy, he became the most beautiful person on earth. Walking side by side with the most beautiful person on earth was making Darcy the luckiest boy on earth. So some tiny, chilly breeze became nothing to him.

Right now, Bill was talking about the commitment Katherine had shown and how surprised he had been when she had told him that the strike leader himself, Jack Kelly, was her soulmate. “Wouldn't it be nice, being part of a revolution alongside your soulmate?”

Darcy snorted. “I suppose.”

Bill threw him a strange look. The last few days, he often wore this exact same look and it drove Darcy crazy because he didn't know what it meant. Suddenly, Bill slowed down his steps. He hadn't exactly talked loud before, considering the fact that they were walking through the city while most of the people were asleep in their beds, but nonetheless he began to decrease his volume. “Say, Darcy, do you remember what we saw before we left the building?”

Darcy's heart stopped beating for a moment. Of course he remembered. It had shocked him to see two boys kissing openly in front of so many people but then the shock had turned into jealousy. How badly he wanted to do the same. Kissing the person he loved. But these were newsies. They lived after their own rules, as long as nobody got hurt. They may have been treated badly by life but they could be who they are. He wasn't a newsie. He wasn't allowed to follow his heart's desire. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was wondering, you know... If two boys could be each other's soulmates,” Bill stated. His hands, that had been hanging by his sides, were now fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Darcy wanted nothing more than to reach out to them.

Why couldn't Bill stop with this whole soulmate talk? And since when was he so interested in same-sex soulmates? Suddenly, Darcy felt nervousness crawling up his skin. Did Bill suspect that Darcy wasn't interested in girls? “I... How would I know?” He stuttered out.

Silence. Then, without a warning, Bill grabbed his hand and led him into the nearest alley, away from the lights of the street lamps. The smell in this alley wasn't exactly pleasant but Darcy had other problems than his stinky environment. Bill was close. So close. And he hadn't let go of his hand.

“Darcy, look, I desperately hope that I am not wrong but if I am, let's just forget about this whole thing, alright?” Bill's words didn't make any sense to him. However, he nodded, if only to learn what was going on with the other boy all of a sudden. “The party where we first met. How did you think I looked?”

You're looking pretty miserable over here. He remembered. Bill remembered, didn't he? Beads of sweat were tickling Darcy's forehead now as he contemplated his options. He could name a random adjective or act like he didn't know what Bill meant. Or he could be honest and finally get his rejection. But why would Bill be so keen on rejecting him? I desperately hope that I am not wrong. All this time, Darcy had thought that he understood Bill pretty well, but now he wasn't so sure any more. “You were looking pretty miserable,” he breathed out. His heart was beating faster than ever and he distantly registered that his hand was still in Bill's. Bill's wonderful hand that was so often decorated by ink stains.

“Thank God.” It seemed like Bill let out a breath he had not known he was holding. And then, he pressed his lips to Darcy's.

Darcy's brain short-circuited. What was even happening? Was he dreaming? No, he couldn't be dreaming. In his dreams, his kisses with Bill were always perfect. But in reality, neither of them had ever kissed someone before, so it was an awkward touch – lips to lips, with a little too much saliva. Darcy pulled back in bewilderment. “What do – But you didn't remember – What was that?”

Bill let out a shy laugh. “I know I didn't even consider the possibility that someone had already said my words when I first got them. But the longer I thought about some fictional person I realised that I didn't really want them. There was only one person on my mind and I couldn't get rid of all these thoughts about you and then I remembered our first meeting. I knew I said something to you about these presumptuous people but I couldn't remember your words. Context, hope and Katherine were what led me to at least hope that you could be my soulmate. And I just had to know if I was right.” He made a face like he was thinking about something. “Why hadn't you told me before?”

“I didn't want to scare you away. And you were so happy with your idea of an ideal soulmate. An ideal soulmate that wasn't me.”

“I am so sorry, love. It wasn't my intention to make you feel this way. But you have to know that there is no ideal soulmate. There is just you. You and me. From now on.” Bill used the hand that wasn't holding Darcy's to stroke Darcy's cheekbone, trying to not knock the spectacles from his face. “If you'll have me.”

Darcy couldn't help but smile at being called love by Bill of all people. “Of course I'll have you. But... what about everything else? Our parents? The rest of society? I want to make this happen, I promise, but I have to remind you that the position we're in is not exactly an optimal one.”

“I know. I know and we can think of something tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow, I mean, we may be a little busy with joining a revolution. But please, please let us be only us for a moment.”

Darcy didn't even have to think this time. He nodded, feeling tears of relief forming behind his eyelids. Then, he took a deep breath and decided to lift a weight off of his chest. “We are soulmates, Bill.” It felt indefinitely good to say it out loud.

“Yes, we are, love.” Bill had never looked more beautiful to Darcy than in this moment.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #438

“i won’t let you die, keep you alive just to remind you of what you are not”

What is your favorite card game? Probably Magic: The Gathering, even though I'm not great at it. I just ADORE the artwork, mainly. Is YouTube one of your favorite websites? Yeah, given I'm constantly on it. Does your mother have a sister? If so, what’s her name? Yeah, named Kelly. What are you doing tomorrow? I'll be going with Mom to the pool at the gym. She goes Tuesdays and Thursday, so I'm going to start joining her to help ease soreness from my exercise days. Would you ever want to go to Africa? It's high on my bucket list! I am DESPERATE to visit the KMP and photograph and pet and pamper the meerkats. :') Last time you went bowling? Not since I was on a date with Girt. Would you ever want to own a bakery? Noooo, I don't enjoy cooking of any sort. I'm way too impatient. Do you like to text? It's funny, I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I make typos too much and autocorrect only wants to work at the WRONG time, it seems. I'd still rather text than actually talk on the phone, though. You want your next pet to be what? To be realistic, it'll probably be a western hognose snake. I REALLY want a tarantula, but Mom absolutely will not allow it for as long as I live with her, lol. Trust me, I've pestered her about it. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Eh, probably a vampire. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah. Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why you absolutely shouldn't, but it's sadly legal in some countries. Thankfully, not America. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? Oh yikes, I have no idea. Name three movies which have a soundtrack you really love: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Tarzan, and The Blair Witch Project: Book of Shadows. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I know it's super cliche, but I genuinely found Outlast terrifying. As well, SCP Containment Breach is a game I can't even play because the jumpscares startle me too much, lol. They're just too loud. Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No. I'm not really interested in keeping fish as pets. What is the most irritating thing that a boyfriend or girlfriend has ever done to you? Tyler wanted to talk CONSTANTLY. Barely even two weeks in and he got all bent out of shape over there being days we just didn't text. Like dude, especially this early in a relationship, I don't want to talk 24/7. He acted like we were together for years or some shit. Like sorry I want alone time. That relationship was just a bad idea. Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Sadly. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Probably Girt. He's just in general very smart. When yawning, do you cover your mouth? If out in public, yes. If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered? I could NEVER maintain a garden, but if I had the motivation and tolerance for the heat, that'd be nice. I'd love mostly flowers, and a grapevine would be pretty! Plus some strawberries. Do you like peanut butter? Yeah, definitely. What about marshmallows? Yep. How do you roast your marshmallows? They have to be BARELY brown at all. Like it has to be the liiightest toast. Do you eat s’mores? Ugh, hell yes. I really want some now, thanks. Own a lava lamp? No, but I'd love a pink one. :( Or black. Own any sort of glow-in-the-dark room accessory? No. Ever done something sexual in public? No, I have common decency. Do you like the taste of squid or eel? I COULD FUCKING NEVER TRY EITHER. Slimy or rubbery stuff like that is such a massive no. Ever date anybody in middle school? Yeah, Aaron in the 7th grade for a few months. Did you like to get dirty when you were little? I think I did. Like I know I loved speeding through mud puddles on my bike as a kid. Own anything that has to do with dragons or unicorns? I have a lot of dragon decor. Ever wanted to be a vet? Yep. Ever written your number in a public bathroom or a school text book? If so, did anyone actually call you? No. What type of weapon do you prefer? Uh, none...? I don't like weapons. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No, not really. Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? The latter, by far. I used to love that show. I really enjoy watching dances. Have you ever worn boxers? Pretty sure no? Last hickey was from? I've only gotten to that point with one person, you can figure it out. Have you ever put a kick me sign on the back of someone? No, that is so rude. Are there any inappropriate pictures of you anywhere? No. I've never taken an inappropriate picture. How many times do you tend to sneeze in a row? Two or three. Karma; believe or don’t? I don't believe it's a thing. I wish it was. Ever changed a diaper? Once. Or maybe twice? No plans on ever doing that again. When you see anything smaller than a quarter on the ground, do you pick it up? I don't even pick quarters up, really. Can bald guys ever be attractive? Um, yes? Do you like hugs? Yessss. Would you ever donate blood? Yeah, I have before. I'd just have to get better about drinking water so I don't faint. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? You make that sound so scandalous, lmao. Yeah. What is the last song to make you cry? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? Yeah. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Are you anyone’s first love? I don't believe so. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? I'M LOSING WEIGHTTTTTT. :') The gym is paying off! Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind? That's kinda a permanent thing. He's always there, even if only in the back. Who was the last person to wink at you? My cat, ha ha. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yes. Are any of your really close friends pregnant right now? REALLY close friends, nope. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? ... You know it's 2021, right???? This never should have been controversial. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? Well, there's caffeine... When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? No. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? I don't recall. Do you say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in order to avoid offending people who don’t celebrate Christmas? I honestly just say "merry Christmas." Have you ever made/played with a sock puppet before? Yes. Have you ever seen a waterfall (aside from in a fountain or other manmade things)? Only small ones. Are you a frequent sufferer of heartburn? Yes; I actually have a prescription for chronic heartburn. If I don't take it, I'll get heartburn to the point I come near tears. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Ha, not a lot at all. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I'm 25 and feel like I've just... wasted so much, and I continue to. I never thought I'd make it to this age and to have gone so short a distance in terms of being a successful adult. Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? I've stopped being friends with people, yes. Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It 120% is. Do you think you will die happy? To be honest... I think no a lot of the time. Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah. Are you a submissive person? Very. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I do. What are your views on the death penalty? I support it in extreme cases. Once you prove to be a thorough monster that deeply endangers other humans... you don't deserve life. We as a society have to work together, not destroy one another. Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yeah! I like the thrill of them. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No; I am FAR too picky with my food. I want to be vegan, but I just wouldn't survive. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a whole story based around some plastic dinosaurs, alligators, deer, and Pokemon figurines. Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? Brianna. I don't know what my favorite memory is... We made a lot. We're Facebook friends, but we don't talk anymore. Would you rather hang out with someone who is always high or someone who constantly wants to get drunk all the time? High, I guess. Drunk people I think get sloppier and, in some cases, angry. The (few) high people I've been around have just been chill and friendly. How did you meet your newest friend? I'm not entirely sure who I consider to be my newest friend. The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? I don't think so? I'm pretty sure I was just hugging her around the waist. You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get? I've mentioned how I wanna get my nose re-pierced in multiple surveys. Do you straighten your hair? No. When is the next time you will see the person you like? Who knows, dude. I really want to be able to walk for two minutes without feeling like I'm dying before I go to an airport again, and even more importantly, even as a fully-vaccinated person, I want Covid to chill out before I travel again. And who the fuck knows when that'll be since people don't want to listen to goddamn professionals. Did you get to sleep in today? I actually slept through my alarm and was late to gym today. :x Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but she passed when I was a baby, so I don't have any memories of her. We got what I want to say was a Rottweiler mix named Angel at one point, who I consider our first family dog, but she was born with that disease that some puppies have where they just... die. Who I consider MY first REAL dog was Teddy. <3 Stood loyally by my side as my furry son and most devoted friend for around 13 years. Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint. Are you one of those people who are always cold? No, I'm always hot. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had feelings for someone and thought “This is the person I want to be with forever”? Yeah, twice. Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Of course! Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? Well, boyfriends, but I wouldn't count the ones I haven't kissed as truly "significant other"s. Has anybody ever dated you only for your looks? I don't think so. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? Nah. What are you listening to? "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White & Jonathan Davis. Would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne. Since middle school. Who is your favorite author? I don't have a fave. Do you like cheesecake? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How did you meet the last person you kissed? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually, no. I'm actually in my best mood in the morning. Have you ever met your favorite band/singer? No, but holy fuck would that be awesome. I want to thank him for his music so badly. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes, but not this one. Do chickens have feelings? Yes. Have you ever been to a spa? Yeah, even though I really wasn't interested. I just went with Colleen because she invited me. I appreciated her wanting to hang out and include me of course, so I was happy to go, but it's not something I'd do of my own volition. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? The lemonade. Favorite South Park character? I don't have one, given I'm not interested in the show. How often do you have to shave? When/where I shave grows back FAST, so frequently. Ever go ghost hunting? No but omg I'd love to. Someone date me just to go do this together one night lmao. Do you have any family in the military? No. Can you talk to your mother about most things? I know I CAN talk to her about absolutely everything, but I don't always. Would you ever homeschool your children? If they wanted it and it'd be beneficial to their health and educational success, then yes. Are you afraid of change? Oh boy, am I. Who’s your favourite character from one of your favourite books? I'll go with The Outsiders, in which case I remember it was Dally.

[onyxiana-is-obsessed]

Diary | Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

I love Shinsou! Hope you like it!! There’s a couple of changes, but nothing crazy. Length: 1.9k Pronouns used: She/her

Summary: Shinsou finds your diary where you’ve written way too much about him. Good thing he feels the same way.

Full Name: (y/f/n) Quirk: (quirk) Age: 15

Hitoshi Shinsou, the student from General Studies. His quirk was called Brainwashing and everyone called in a villainous quirk. (F/n) didn’t think so, in fact, she believed the opposite. In her mind, there was no such thing as a “villainous quirk”. It was the people who decide whether they were going to use that quirk for good or evil. She saw how it affected him and every time she heard someone say something stupid, she thought about stepping in. However, she was too shy. She was too damn shy and never could. Both her and Shinsou were in the same class, her quirk wasn’t suited for the hero course.

In fact, like a little stalker, she wrote about him in her diary. She could never approach him and every time she would write out a mini-plan, only to add in her next entry that she chickened out.

She saw him at the Sports Festival and he did good, unfortunately, Midoriya was able to break free of his brainwashing, but it was a great display. If any villain made the mistake of speaking to Shinsou, they were done for. He could immediately tell them to stop moving and arrest them. He could tell the villain to walk into a police station and whatnot.

After the Sports Festival, Shinsou was transferred into the hero course and (f/n) believed she had lost whatever chance she had. So here she sat in her room, writing about Shinsou.

Dear Diary,

Well more sad news today. Ever since Shinsou was transferred to the hero course, I never get to see him. I guess our schedules are so different, we never cross paths. I don’t know what to do now, at first all I needed to do was muster up the courage to tell him… but now I don’t get that.

You know, I think one day I’ll have to burn you. I have so many weird, stalkerish talk in here that I could get arrested. Well… maybe not arrested but Shinsou would definitely be weirded out. He’s so cute… I love his quirk. It’s better than mine, really. Well, I guess it doesn’t matter much. I never had the courage to talk to him, so why should I bother getting upset that I can’t see him? So what?

Ok, don’t judge me now, Diary. But every time I see him, it makes my day just a bit brighter. I love seeing him, even if it’s a glimpse. Guess I’m head over heels for someone I barely know. He definitely doesn’t feel the same.  I mean who knows, maybe he’s not even into girls. That thought makes me a bit sad… actually quite a bit sad. Maybe, one day, I’ll be able to tell Shinsou how I feel. Maybe, he’ll let me down gently. Hopefully, he rejects me gently. Anyway, I should go. See ya tomorrow.

~**~

She was late, how dumb could she have been? She forgot to set her alarm and her parents left early for work, so they weren’t able to wake her. (F/n) ran through the hallways, without looking where she was going. She turned a corner and let out a yelp as she collided with a body, both of them falling to the ground.

She opened her eyes and they widened in fear. Purple eyes stared back at her with just as much shock. The two were frozen, still in shock. After a moment of shock, (f/n) face started to heat up when she became aware of their position.

Shinsou was underneath her, one leg stretched out and the other one slightly bent. She was on top of him, both hands on either side of him, basically straddling him. No, no, no, no, no, no! This WAS NOT her first meeting with him! Not like this! This was just some stupid nightmare and she needed to wake up!

“Hey, are you ok?” He inquired, leaning up a bit, which only moved his face closer to hers. She let out a squeal and quickly stood up. She gathered everything in a rush, since her things had fallen out, and in one swift movement, she pulled him up to a standing position.

“I’m sorry!” With that, she grabbed her bag and ran away before he couldn’t say anything else. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

“Well, at least she’s ok-” His words were interrupted when he saw a book lying next to his that he didn’t recognize. He picked it up, unsure of what it was and thumbed through the pages. His eyes widened as he saw his name numerous times through the cute little pages. He skimmed a couple of pages before he realized it was her diary. Slapping his hand on his forehead, he mentally cursed at himself for invading her privacy. He had to return it but as he turned to follow the girl, he realized that he, too, was late. She had disappeared and he had no idea where she went.

**

Deciding on returning it later, Shinsou held the diary close as he walked to class. Throughout the class, he couldn’t help but read a couple more pages. He knew it was wrong and he promised to make it up to her one day, but for now… those words were more interesting than anything in class. His face heated up at the mention of his name and her feelings towards him. He had noticed her, of course, but he wasn’t entirely sure whether he liked her to the extent she liked him.

She was cute, really cute. He knew she was really shy, that her quirk was (y/q), she loved (hobby), and (hobby). Her favorite color was (f/c), her favorite drink must’ve been (f/d) because she always had it in class with her. According to this diary, her favorite food was (f/f). He knew her favorite animal must’ve been (f/a) because he’d seen her draw them in her notebook and she had a couple of charms on her backpack.

Ok, so Shinsou REALLY paid attention to her. She was cute and he didn’t mind going on a date or two with her. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to. Normally, he did his best to keep to himself and focus on his studies. Besides, back when he was in general studies, no one liked his quirk or him. All his life, everyone practically called him a villain. However, it was evident that (f/n) didn’t feel that way about him, in fact, in multiple entries, she praised his quirk wishing she had something similar.

All day, Shinsou spent reading her diary. He felt awful and every time he tried to put it away, curiosity pulled him back. By the next day, he had read every single page and wished there were more. Like… more diaries he could read. He loved seeing her thoughts, he wanted… he wanted to be her diary.

The more he read, the more he liked. Instead of finding the whole thing weird and stalkerish, he enjoyed it. He never thought someone could feel like that about him.

~**~

So here he was, waiting outside of her class with the book in his hand. It was lunchtime, so every cleared out of the hallways quickly to go get food.

Class was dismissed and Shinsou watched as the students poured out of the room, making their way to the cafeteria. The hallways emptied out quick and he noticed (f/n) coming out last, panic plastered on her face. She still looked adorable.

“(l/n).” The girl jumped at the use of her name and her eyes shot to him, widening in fear.

“Y-yes?” He held her book up and he could see her soul leave her body.

“You should be careful with your things.” He approached her, causing her to stiffen. “You’re lucky I’m the one who found this.” She misunderstood him. She thought he meant that she was lucky he found it and didn’t read it. In reality, she was lucky because Shinsou found the contents to his liking.

Once he was close enough, he stopped and held the book out. With a shaky hand and a sigh of relief, she took it from him.

“Th-thank you.” (f/n) hugged the small journal close to her chest, relief calming her shakiness. She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. (f/n) almost squealed when she found his face inches from her causing her to back up until she hit the wall behind her. Shinsou’s hands found their way onto the wall and trapped her in.

“You’re cute when you get flustered.” He added, causing her face to turn red and her heart to speed up. “Yeah, yeah. Just like that.”

“Wh-what?”

“You misunderstood me, (l/n). Oh, wait,” He leaned in close to her ear and whispered in his husky voice. “(f/n). You like that better, no?” The girl clutched the book tighter as she realized what he meant.

“Y-you… read it?”

“Every page.” His warm breath tickled her neck. “Tell me, (f/n), what would you like me to do?” Her mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. She was still startled from his previous actions, her brain was starting to shut down. “I recall reading that you wanted me to push you against the wall and kiss you? Oh no, that was a dream of yours.” She only shook her head in response, a weak attempt to deny the book being hers. “Oh don’t lie.” His face leaned in closer until they were inches away. “Wanna know what it’s like in real life?” It took a moment before the girl nodded.

“Yes…” Almost a second after, his lips found their way onto hers. She stiffened, not expecting it, even though he alluded to it just a second ago. Her panic turned into embarrassment as her hands found their way onto his chest and pushed. At first, he was concerned. This is what she wanted right? So why? “I-I’m sorry.” She muttered, dropping her diary. “I-I… I’m no good at ki-kissing… I don’t want it to be bad.” Shinsou sighed and gave her a smile.

“Then let me teach you.” She thought for a moment before she nodded, letting him approach her again. “Relax, I don’t bite… much.” At this point her face couldn’t get redder, it just wasn’t possible. His hand found its way to her face, tilting it upwards. “First, look up at me. Next, your hands,” He said grabbing them and placing them on his shoulders. “Go here.”

“Right.” Was her quiet response. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Now just, relax your lips, don’t tighten them up.” With that, he leaned in again and they met in another kiss. She felt his lips move and followed ever so slightly. It wasn’t very long, only a few seconds. The two pulled away and he watched as her panic dissipated slowly. “Not too bad right?” He inquired.

“That was… amazing…” She responded, causing him to chuckle, “Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” She gave him a nod as he grabbed her bag and her diary. He grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers. As the two walked down to the cafeteria, she spoke up in a meek voice.

“C-could we pr-practice some more, later?” He could swear his heart melted just a bit.

“Of course we can.”

[yeojaa]

TO THE MOON AND BACK - ft. ???

You feel winded and you're not sure why.  Like you'd been walking on cloud nine and were now falling through the atmosphere, plummeting toward the ground at incredible speeds.  When you speak, it doesn't really sound like you.  "Yes."  Because he was exactly right - you were a hopeless romantic.  Always had been.  It was hard not to be when your parents were childhood sweethearts and love was the thing you'd been chasing your whole life.

alt summary.  You use your one brain cell for love.  It doesn’t always end well.

pairing.  who knows, honestly.  the obvious ones are kim taehyung and jeon jungkook, though.  

tags.  blind date, strangers, strangers to friends, strangers to lovers, getting to know each other, alternate universe, alternate universe - modern setting, romantic comedy.

rating.  general (for now?)

word count.  ~3750

chapter 4.  

Time passes as it always does, swirling around you in the form of hungry patrons and waning sunlight. 

Occasionally, it crawls and the words don't come, weighed by an anchor you can't quite lift.  It feels heavy in your hands, a door that won't open no matter how much you fidget, graphite leaving dots across pristine white paper.  It taunts you and tricks you every time you hazard a glance at your phone.

Other times, it's gone in the blink of an eye, the glowing numbers on your screen a reminder of its perpetual movement.  

The only consistent is Jeon Jungkook. 

You appreciate his presence, the familiarity it brings as he sits quietly, every so often chuckling to himself when he scrolls past something funny on his phone.  A snap of his friend's face superimposed over a pig (don't ask);  a meme off the front page of Reddit.  You're grateful for the fact that he keeps otherwise quiet and doesn't try to share his finds, taking extra care not to disturb whatever creative process you're in.  He knows as well as you - you take inspiration where you can get it.

Still, it's hard not to notice him. 

There'd always been something about him that drew your attention, like he was a planet and you were caught in his gravitational pull.  You couldn't avoid him if you tried.

Looking at him now - sneaking glances when you know he's miles down his Instagram feed and won't catch you - he's everything you remembered and so much that you hadn't.  It makes your heart ache a little, just as it had in the first few months of radio silence.  You'd honestly thought you'd gotten used to it - draped a cloth over the Jungkook-shaped hole in your life - but sitting there with him, you realize you definitely hadn't.  It's like a cold draft that won't go away, curling around his gaping silhouette and rousing memories you don't mean to dwell on. 

Maybe it was your fault.  Maybe your refusal to explore the how's and why's had festered the wound and kept it from healing.  But if you were to blame, then so was he.  After all, you'd never meant for it to happen.   

Isn't that how it always happened?

Things had been fine, for a while.  Better than fine, in fact.  You'd found a kindred spirit in the boy that'd taken up root beside you, discovering fragments of your dreams in his film vignettes and buried between the layers of his watercolour. 

You'd gone through the motions of getting to know each other before casual conversations in the lecture hall had transitioned to harried 3 a.m. texts about whether you'd completed the assignment or not.  (He always had;  you, not so much.)  The Friday editing sessions had even turned to weekend day trips in search of inspiration, not realizing - or not acknowledging - you'd found it in each other.  Of course, you never addressed it, finding too much comfort in each other to dare turn the spotlight on it.  You'd thought that maybe, if you acted like it wasn't happening, everything would be okay. 

You thought whatever you were would be safe, hidden among the moon and stars.

After all, it was inevitable, like the changing of seasons.  Spending so much time with someone else tended to open you up to them in ways you'd never expected. 

Still, it had hit you like a freight train colliding with a pipe bomb when you'd drunkenly invited him back to your dorm and he'd agreed, enthusiastic and intoxicated.  You'd been celebrating the completion of your thesises (or theses, as Jungkook had so sagely reminded you when you were four bottles of soju in and slurring your words). 

Never in your wildest dreams - and oh, how you'd dreamt - had you thought it would happen.

You should've known it was a bad idea when your adoration had nearly swallowed you whole, the familiar desire to stick your tongue out at him replaced by one to use that muscle in a very different way.  But everything had happened so quickly that night, intensity engulfing every single one of your sensibilities and igniting it in flames.  He'd felt so good - so right - like he'd been created just for you, all of his sinew and bone a testament to a higher power that had deemed you worthy enough.  

If you were a recovering addict, he was the 40 year old malt that sent you right back into inebriation. 

You hadn't cared then, drunk off something other than liquor.  All you'd wanted was him and that beautiful smile for a little while longer. 

You'd even told yourself you could get past whatever repercussions arose.  That was the strength of your friendship.  And yet, you'd been wrong.  You'd hardly been able to look at him the next morning, fleeing to the library with a note left on your pillow.  You'd been the one to run away, leaving him to wake up to an empty bed.  

It was the right thing to do, you'd told yourself.  Better to avoid an awkward morning after. 

Except that silence had stretched on and by the time you'd realized your mistake, it was too late.  You weren't sure who was ignoring who and you were too afraid to ask.

"Do I have something on my face?"  Your companion is swiping across his mouth, alarmed by the intensity with which you've been ogling him.  God - how long had you been staring at him?

Heat spills over your neck and you can feel it rising into your hairline, sweeping across your ears and drowning them in red-hot embarrassment.  "No.  Sorry.  I zoned out."  You're stumbling over your words, a choked half-laugh crossing the threshold of enamel. 

Jungkook looks at you like he could unravel your excuses with but a word but says nothing.  His capacity for silence always surprised you.

"Should we get going?"  He finally offers.  Your saving grace.

"Oh, sure."  A cursory glance at your phone has you near bolting out of your seat.  "It's almost two?!"  You're immediately shoving everything back into your tote with manic energy, nearly stabbing your pencil through the fleshy underside of your palm when you miss its rightful pocket.  You'd never been good with time management.

"You'll be fine - the studio's close by."  He's not wrong but his reassurance has you halting, strap of your bag looped around the hook of your elbow.  For a second, you're confused.  He can see it in your eyes. 

He debates saying something, waiting for the cogs in your head to click into place.

They finally do and you finish your motion, hiking your tote comfortably onto your shoulder.  Your over-ear headphones are tucked neatly into the pocket in the front and zipped in for security before a single AirPod replaces the quiet left behind by their departure.  Habit.  You always need music.

He knows them too, you remind yourself. 

(You don't know how it hasn't come up yet.  Maybe because it's been eight excruciating months of the Great Depression, as you tended to call it.)

You're about to bid him farewell, the words primed, when you catch his expression.  It might just be your own emotions projected across the chiselled curvature, but he looks almost wistful.  Like he's not quite ready to say goodbye.  

You decide you aren't, either.  "Do you want to walk with me?"

You know he doesn't take longer than a moment to consider the offer, though he plays at mulling it over, a decidedly artificial look of deliberation spreading.

"Fine, your loss,"  you state with an exaggerated roll of your eyes. 

When you move toward the door, he's right there with you, and when you head into the early afternoon light, he's at your side.  You try not to think about how close he is, how you're not sure whether the heat is from the sun or his body or the emotion that boils beneath your skin.  It's hard.

"How long have you been interning?"  He's sweetly curious, the picture of friendly attention.

"Since September." 

"Do you like it?"

"I love it."  He hears the animation that threatens to drag your words into overdrive, throwing ending syllables into one another.  A quirk of yours - like your heart couldn't catch up with your mouth.  "It's been a really incredible experience and I have so much respect for the people that put their entire lives into it.  Namjoon and Yoongi - they've been so great.  A little rough around the edges,"  Jungkook's hum is wrapped in understanding because he intimately knows what you mean,  "but so, so good to me."  You seem to realize you've taken off like a rocket and slow, allowing yourself to readjust as you plummet back to Earth.  "It's like everything I'm feeling finally has a home, you know?"

"I get it."  Something tender lingers in his gaze as your eyes meet.  Your heart skips a beat.  Then he's still, forcing you to do the same.  You realize you're at your destination, imposing building rising high above your heads.  "I guess this is goodbye."

You hate the sound of that more than you should.  You offer a little wave as you begin backwards, shoulder meeting the glass door.  You can't look away.  "How about see you later instead?"  

He looks like he's just won the lottery when you disappear inside.

They're two figures huddled together when you slip into the studio, your Dr. Martens replaced with soft Ryan slippers that stand in stark contrast to your neon green socks.  You think they must not hear you by the lack of acknowledgment and take your time in setting your bag down, extracting your items one by one. 

Phone, notebook, headphones.  Your water bottle.  Pencils and pens in every pastel shade you could find.  If only you were this organized in school.

"So, you and Taehyung, huh?"  Yoongi's low drawl has you whipping around but he hasn't even turned, instead still preoccupied with the melody that filters through his studio headphones, one side trapped against his head by the flat of his palm.  You see more than hear the silent laughter that catches his shoulders, rolling over his lithe frame.  

"Hello to you too, Min seonsangnim,"  you chirp, ignoring the question in favour of settling down behind them.  It's your usual spot beside the electric piano, comprised of a sleek Herman Miller lounge chair and simple black table that you neatly arrange your belongings onto.  You unfold your notebook and drag it into your lap, legs crossed in your seat, as you wait for them to finish whatever they're working on.

Namjoon hums to himself, fingers tracking with practiced precision as he lays a certain beat differently, dragging a note to the forefront.  You watch, ever curious, as his deft movements transform the sounds that reach his ears, bringing an appreciative nod from the man beside him.

What you wouldn't give to hear what they were working on.

Instead, you focus on the litany of lyrics scrawled across the pages of your notebook.  You drag them over and over in your head, letting them curve across different melodies in hopes one will stick.  You know it's backwards - tune first, Namjoon always said - but you're stuck on these goddamn lines.  You want them to make sense so badly.

You must look as frustrated as you feel, because you register a soft laugh and your name right as you're about to slash out another two lines.

"You're going to regret it."  You know he's right.  You huff, all but slamming your pencil down on the table as you meet the expectant stares of your mentors.  It feels a little different today, as if you've crossed some invisible line you hadn't known existed.  It's not an unwelcome feeling.

"Just another thing to add to the list,"  you answer, dryly. 

"Woah now."  There are tendrils of concern wrapping the words, something unspoken in the way Namjoon looks at you rather than the words he speaks.  His chin cants, mouth pursed in that distinct way of his, and you can't help but feel a little childish, like a student caught red-handed by their principal.  How fitting that that's what he was to you.  "Is everything okay?"

The smile you offer is genuine, steeped heavily in appreciation.  You're fine - you know you are.  The past few days have just gotten weirder and weirder and it's a little hard to wrap your head around it.  You're not sure how to explain that.

"Is it because you're pining over Tae?"  It doesn't seem like he's going to let it go any time soon so you level Yoongi with a stare that would make him proud, reeking of barely concealed dissatisfaction.  It's a complete facade, meant only to act as an apathetic mask.  He knows that.  You know that.   He snickers, arms folding across his chest as he maintains that look of anticipation.

"I'm not pining over him,"  you retort.  And really, you're not.  You're just pleasantly intrigued. 

"But you do like him."  Now it's Namjoon locking you with the implications of his question, the words acting as proverbial blinders.  You can't look anywhere but his eyes.

"I mean, I hardly know him."  You know your answer isn't enough by the silence that meets it.  You blow a steady stream of air through your nose, trying to find patience among the fluttering in your chest.  "Fine, I like him.  I'm interested."  It feels strange talking to them about this.  They've never involved themselves in your personal life.  Not even when you'd asked them to help you with your songs, begged to pour your heartbreak into something material. 

All things considered, you can't blame them.  

"Good.  Because he's a good guy."  You don't doubt it but it's still nice to hear, especially from those whose opinions you hold in such high esteem.  It lightens your burden a little, stripping worry away from your heart like daisy petals.  

You like him, you like him not, you like him.  

With a languid roll of your eyes, you edge closer, sock sliding back into your slippers.  Your notebook is set down, forgotten temporarily, as you rock to your feet and cross to join them in front of the various monitors.  "Can we focus on something other than my love life now?"  

The sun is but a flicker of burnt orange over the horizon when you exit the building, drifting low behind buildings and casting faded warmth over everything it touches.  It's colder than you'd anticipated, the soft knit of your cardigan doing little to rebuff the evening air.  It's invigorating, if not a little unwelcome.  

You slot your earphones into place before you begin walking, enamoured with the strike of ivory keys and unfiltered lyricism.  A quick swipe through your messages, nothing immediately catching your eye.  Good.  You're ready to go home and dive into a bowl of ramyeon.

Or, at least, you were - before you're colliding with a solid mass.

You blink once, twice, trying to make sense of what's happened.  You know this area like the back of your hand, have walked it both sober and drunk, in the afternoon and hours past midnight.  There's certainly not supposed to be an obstruction in the middle of the street.

"I'm so sorry."  The voice registers as desirable, heavy in its timbre, a sound you'd gladly tumble headlong into.  It's also familiar, though that recognition comes more slowly, in bits and pieces that form a haphazard picture in your mind.  It's fuzzy around the edges because you're not intimately familiar with it but oh, how you could be.

"Kim Taehyung?"  You're not sure how many times you've uttered those same few words but it falls again, framed in surprise and perhaps a little hope.  

"Hi."  He breathes the greeting like it's a secret, his big boxy grin stopped short only by the way he catches his bottom lip between his teeth.  There's a flash of pink as his tongue follows suit not long after, laving at the indents he's left behind.  A tic of his, you notice.  One that stirs butterflies in your chest and tension in your stomach.  You mimic the action without realizing and it's his turn to inhale sharply, his attempts at suffocating the excitement with a lungful of air feeble.  "Surprise?"  

It's an understatement if you've ever heard one. 

"What're you doing here?"  

The reminder that this isn't normal - that your meeting isn't planned nor somehow caused by some sort of cosmic interference - seems to bring him to his senses.  He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, hand rising to scratch at the nape of his neck.  He's tonguing his lip again, the tell-tale flash of pink distracting you momentarily.  In the open, like this, he's even more handsome than you remembered and you admire him with little hesitation.

"Namjoon-hyung mentioned they'd have a late night." 

That certainly doesn't answer your question.  "But what does that have to do with me?"

"He said he and Yoongi-hyung would be here all night but... that you were leaving soon."  By the way he speaks, it almost as if he's ready for a reprimand or rejection.  He won't even look at you fully, his gaze bouncing from your eyes to your mouth to some indeterminate spot behind your left ear.  He looks like he's about burst when he finally meets your stare.  "I thought you might want to get dinner. "

You can't deny how charming it is, how giddy it makes you feel.  You're beaming as bright as the sun.  "I'd love to." 

The breath he'd been holding escapes as one giant laugh that reverberates his shoulders and crashes out of his mouth in unadulterated mirth.  He tries to hide it behind his hands, palm pressed to his lips as his face contorts into a makeshift cage.  He's a kid on Christmas morning and his excitement is infectious.

"I guess this is our first date then."  There's that aching sweetness again, blanketing his words in promise as he extends his hand.  Maybe it's a little too forward, a little too much - you can see the uncertainty buried deep in his irises - but you take it nonetheless, slotting your digits with his as if its the most natural thing in the world.  You like the way he feels, the weight of his hand in yours.  You're gladdened by the fact that you still feel sparks where your skin connects, a live wire linking the two of you together.

It hadn't just been all in your head.

"Where should we go?"  

"Anywhere."  You don't mean to sound the way you do, a girl on her first date.  It causes a revolt against your cheeks, pretty pink painting the apples.  "I'm not picky."  A poor attempt at sounding somewhat blasé.  Why you try, you're not sure, because Taehyung looks just as enamoured as you.  It's both powerful and terrifying.  "You choose."  

So he does - and you like that, too, allowing him to lead the two of you to a nearby shop that specializes in jokbal.  He won't stop talking about it the entire way, regaling you with stories of late night munchies with his hyungs and making you laugh so hard you shake. 

He never drops your hand, not even when he's opening the door for you with his other.  

You find your seats quickly, settling across from each other at the small table.  It's reminiscent of the first time you'd met and you can't help but smile, mouth pursing so as to stave off the expression.  It catches his attention, though you're uncertain it'd been anywhere else.  "What?"

"I feel like we should be answering questions again."

There's playfulness curling his lips, stretching his cheeks and rounding them into his characteristic smile.  "Do you want to?"

You're surprised.  Why not?  "Sure.  It'll be like old times."

Now, he snickers, once again hidden behind the slope of his fingers.  "What percentage did you put at the end?"  It's like a flipped switch how quickly he goes from cherubic aegyo to serious, effortlessly handsome in his sudden gravity.

"I'm not telling you that!"  You gasp as if affronted, voice warbling like an old widow asked about her dearly departed.  

"Come on!"  He comes back, just as quick.  A hand cradles his heart now - lays right over where it lies beneath the soft cotton of his plain black shirt - and tenses.  Some sort of very fake sob comes out, hushed in consideration of the other diners, and he levels you with a look that makes you want to kiss him.  "You're breaking my heart, Cho Jiyeon."

A part of you wants to drag this on, keep that all-encompassing smile in place for as long as you can, but he's already shifting.  He's leaning across the table and you can count each individual eyelash and every mole.  You're once again left breathless by the sheer beauty of him.  

"I put 100."  The admission comes so easily from him that you almost feel bad for holding out.  Almost. 

You think you might if you weren't completely over the moon and lost to the stars above.  "Me too."

He's never looked better than when he hears that and you try to memorize the way his eyes squint, the start of his smile when his mouth pulls subtly to the left, the deep lines that run the length of his chiselled cheeks.  Like a painting by the old masters, it speaks volumes.  

"You're not just saying that?" 

The juxtaposition is laughable when he finally speaks.  Here he is, devilishly handsome and brimming with euphoria, and yet his words sound like they've taken everything out of him.  It makes your heart squeeze in a downright lovesick way.  "One hundred,"  a pause that's meant to be cute,  "percent serious."

Your bad joke has him laughing, sweeping you up in the sound.  "You won't regret it."

You tell yourself you believe him because you're hopeless and you don't know better.  But when he focuses on you like this, you can't help it.  He's like every wish you've ever made, a shooting star across a spotless night sky, illuminating everything in its path.  He makes you see in full spectrum colour, setting your vision to ultra HD.  You don't want to go back to shades to grey.

notes.  just when kook was getting some face time, in comes taehyung.  whoops!

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Appeal

(Story Post)

Dax waited patiently on a bench in the hall outside the courtroom. It absolutely astounded him every day how many facilities fit into the APID headquarters. It wasn’t a big courtroom like one would see in the movies with all the space for spectators and such, but it got the job done. Nathan had texted him to let him know that Wano’s appeal hearing was wrapping up, so Dax decided to try out the new twin carrier that Nathan’s case worker had gifted them and meet his boyfriend outside. The twins seemed to favour their human sides when they were alone with Dax which was a huge relief, and they seemed quite content looking around from chest height and letting their little grabby hands yank on his shirt. The doors pushed open and Dax stood up, shifting the carrier to make sure the kids were straight and getting excited to hear the news.

Wano came out first, his arms crossed and huffing angrily. “Oh no.” Dax feared the worst, but then Nathan came out, dropping his hands on Wano’s shoulders and shaking him. “He got an extension!” Nathan said, happily. “Oh! That’s good!” Dax said, smiling. “What’s the mood?” “Well, you know, the questions were pretty pointed, and he really wanted the deportation dismissed entirely,” Nathan explained. “But he did a really good job holding his temper and I think this is a win.” “It is not a win. I could still be shot off into space later,” Wano growled. “I just want to stay. I can’t go back. Not now.” “And you’re not,” Nathan said, rubbing his arm. “You got more time. And now that I know more about this, I can help you more.” “Yeah, you have the best teacher, Wano,” Dax said. “And we’re both really glad that you got this extension.” Wano let his face soften though he still looked troubled. “I don’t understand it. You people are so nice and generous, but those people in there… They’re much more like Eclulans. They’re out for my blood with their words.” “No, they’re not,” Nathan said. “They’re just doing their job. You’d do the same. It’s a process. They want to make sure your intentions are pure. That you’re safe for our society. This extension is proof that you appealed to their better nature. Let’s celebrate it, not fret it.” Wano nodded slowly, unclenching his jaw. “Okay…” “We should share lunch, I think,” Dax said. “It’s the right time for it. I know I’m hungry.” “Yes, I heard lunch for our tier is shish kebabs,” Nathan said, patting Wano’s back. “You’ll love them.” Together they headed to the cafeteria. It was the first time the twins had been there, and the noises and smells got them excited. Dax let Nathan take them while he lined up to get their food. Wano also lined up since he didn’t like having his food brought to him. He took the time to assess his friend’s companion. Nathan said food was a great way to get to know someone. “So… What is the most popular hunting animal in this province?” Wano asked. Dax blinked quickly, taken off guard. “Oh. Um, I don’t know. Maybe deer?” “Hm. Well which is your favourite?” Dax shook his head quickly. “I definitely don’t hunt. I’m vegetarian.” Wano wrinkled his nose. “Vegetarian? That’s what?” “I don’t eat animals,” Dax explained. Wano glared at him. “So, what do you eat then? Only plants?” “Mostly, yeah,” Dax nodded. “It’s a personal preference. I don’t expect everyone to do the same. For example, I don’t mind getting Nathan’s meals for him. I know he needs it, with the whole wolf thing.” “So you’re like prey,” Wano said, nodding slowly. “Now I understand.” “…Do you? What do you understand?” Dax asked, trying not to get offended. “Nathan is the manwolf. Strong predator. You’re like…a cow. Friendly and fun, but if there’s no other food, he will eat you.” Dax pulled a face but didn’t say anything. He wanted to like Wano because Nathan liked him. He knew there were cultural differences between them. The urge to defend himself was strong, but he really didn’t want to say anything he’d regret. Once they had their food, they headed back to the table Nathan had picked. Both were surprised to find their seats being occupied suddenly. “Hello, boys! How good you are, bringing Nathan some lunch,” Fay said, smiling at the pair. He motioned to his assistant. “I know we’ve met, but I don’t know that you’ve met Dusty here.” Dusty smiled and nodded to them both. “Hi there.” “Hello Dusty, I’m Dax,” the man introduced himself. “You’re in our seats,” Wano stated plainly without introduction. “Oh no,” Fay said. He smirked. “There is space beside us. Or you could come sit in our laps then if you want.” Dusty smiled, bouncing his eyebrows. Dax chuckled and sat down beside Nathan. “I’ll pass. But thank you for the offer.” Wano frowned, sliding into the seat. “Clearly there is nothing sacred about meal table partnership...” “Wait, Fay, don't you have your own twins at home to take care of?” Dax asked. “Nathan said you were on leave.” “I actually sat in on Wano's hearing,” Fay explained. “These types of hearings are best with a translator on hand should the defendant need one for any reason. Wano did not end up needing to make use of me however.” “My English is good now,” Wano said. “I don’t need help like translator...” “Your English has definitely improved,” Nathan confirmed. “But it's always good to have someone around who understands you.” “And I had you,” Wano stated, picking up his kebab and biting two pieces of chicken off of it. “Fishman was not needed.” “Anyway, we're here... And I've felt bad for Dusty having to run around doing other people's work instead of running around doing mine,” Fay chuckled. “So it's good to sit down and have lunch together.” Wano looked at Dusty who was being pretty quiet, just eating his lunch. “And are you something?” “Something?” Dusty asked, caught off guard. “Everyone is something here,” Wano said pointing from Fay to Nathan to Dax to himself. “Fish, wolf, prey, and Eclulan.” “I swear to god...” Dax muttered under his breath. “Wano, I'll have to stop you there,” Nathan said. “It's rude to ask people outright if there's anything non-human about them.” “Why?” Wano asked. “We are all here in APID. You're something if you're here. And it's not like I can hide. I am purple. It is not equal that you should hide.” “There's actually a lot of humans working here,” Nathan said. “You are thinking,” Wano said. “You don't know because everyone hides like cowards. Like the prey here.” He pointed to Dax. “I am not prey,” Dax growled. “Please stop calling me that.” “If you are not prey, you should not eat as prey do,” Wano said. “Your diet has no dominance.” “Dax is a vegetarian for his own reasons,” Nathan defended. “I was even making the transition before I got bit. Unfortunately, there isn't a vegetarian diet that can support my wolf side... There's nothing wrong with being vegetarian or vegan, as long as you do it healthily. I understand Eclulan people are hunter/warriors, so your culture is built around that, but on Earth, the majority of us don't need to hunt for our food and we have more choice in what we eat. Those choices don't change our status in society.” “Thank you, Nathan,” Dax appreciated. “Calling names does not a better man make...” Wano groaned. “Okay, not prey but still something. I have not seen a human with eyes like the grey haired one.” Dusty blinked, realising they were back to him. “Oh, um... I'm not anything worth talking about. You're right, I'm not human, but I don't really want to get into it.” “And you don't have to,” Nathan agreed. “Not to mention, Wano, I'd rather you don't tell everyone I'm a wolf. I'm still human.” “That's where you're confusing me,” Wano said. “How can you be wolf and human? Your parents are wolf and human?” “No. It's a condition,” Nathan said. “Like when someone is sick or pregnant... That's a condition. It's not contagious but it doesn't go away. That's all...” “What has biting to do with this?” Wano asked. “I was bit by another wolf,” Nathan said. “It's how I got it...” “You can bite and give it? Is that not what contagious means?” Wano asked. “Can I have it?” “No,” Nathan said firmly. “I can't give it to you and you don't want it.” “What if I do want it?” Wano asked. “I would want the strength of a top predator. That is greatness.” Nathan rubbed his eyes. “Wano... I'm not getting into this with you. You don't want it. I can't give it to you. That's all.” “I have a god inside me...” Dax was muttering to himself. “I'm not prey...” “Dax, chill out,” Nathan said. “Everyone's a little too worked up. We had a successful day. We're eating. We're making friends, not enemies.” Dusty was nodding, looking at Wano. “You're warriors on your planet?” “Yes. The Trei clan. The Frolle clan are our enemies,” Wano said. “Were,” Nathan said. “There are Frolle people here at APID. They're not your enemies.” “They are.” “They're not.” “They are.” “Have you ever thought,” Dax started. “That this might be why you're being deported?” Wano scrunched up his face. “What?” “Dax, don't,” Nathan said, a little alarmed. “Come on, I can’t be the only one thinking it,” Dax said. “I get that it's a different culture. I get that. But we're here on Earth and he wants to stay here. On Earth though, we don't need more people who just want to start fights and hunt animals. We need people who are willing to be neighbours, be friendly, be constructive, help their fellow, preserve our flora and fauna. If you're just here to criticise everything and pick fights, then this isn't the right place to be.” Everyone was silent. Dax let out a deep breath. “I'm sorry, I just wanted to get it off my chest...” “Dax,” Nathan said. “Um...” “Yes?” “You're sparking,” Nathan said. “I'm...?” Dax held up his hands and saw the electricity arcing over his skin.  “Tabernac... Um, I'm sorry, I...” He stood up. “I have to go.” “Wait, Dax—” “Nathan, I'll see you in our room. I need to control this.” “Okay...” Dax left quickly, leaving the rest of them quiet. Nathan started to grab his diaper bag and things. “I should probably go too.” “Now, hold on,” Fay said, taking Nathan’s arm. “Let the man calm down on his own. He needs a minute. And you haven't finished your lunch. You need it. You're nursing.” Nathan nodded. “No, you're right... I'm sorry... I didn't realise, this would go that far.” “I understand. It's okay. Dax's feelings are completely valid,” Fay said. “What I don't think he's seeing is that Wano is trying, right? It's conversations like this where we get to understand each other.” Wano just nodded, clenching his jaw. “We came here today to help you get another chance to stay,” Fay said. “He's trying because he wants to learn how to participate in our society. And yes, he's not all the way there yet. But you want to be here, right Wano?” Wano nodded again. “Eclul... I cannot return. I am not welcome. But I see I am probably not welcome on Earth either...” “That's not true,” Nathan stated. “Wano, if we didn't want you to be here, we wouldn't be trying to help you.” “You are two people,” Wano said. “There are billions of people here. They won't like me. I don't know how to be like them. I thought if I do the language and I learn the histories and I stop punching people, I am good. But there's more that I just do not understand how to do. You keep saying this or that is rude. No one has even told me what ‘rude' means. I am thinking I cannot stay. I need another planet to find. Maybe one with no people... Just me.” “Oh... I'm sorry you feel that way...” Nathan said. “But, I believe in you... You can do this. It just takes hard work. Being a warrior takes energy and determination. So does this, it's just a different channel.” Wano pursed his lips. “You really think I can do it?” “Of course. I wouldn't be here helping you if I didn't think you could do it,” Nathan said. Wano clenched his jaw. “...I'm sorry...” “Hm?” Nathan blinked. “You're sorry?” Wano nodded. “I'm difficult to teach. I know this. And my words hurt your mating partner.” “You can just call him Dax, please...” Nathan said. “But I accept your apology. I can't say I've ever heard you apologise before.” “Apologies are not a sign of strength... It is admitting a flaw. I did not want to think I am flawed... But I wouldn't be here if I wasn't,” Wano admitted. Nathan leaned over to rub his back. “It's okay. We're all flawed. That's just natural. No one's perfect.” Wano suddenly stood up. “I have to go.” “Go where?” Nathan asked. “You're not even done your food.” “I am not hungry...” Wano avoided eye contact as he stepped away from the table and headed out of the cafeteria. Nathan watched him go but with the twins strapped to him, he was in no shape to chase after anyone. “...What is going on? This was supposed to be a successful day.” “Poor man... Feels like he's gone off to cry,” Dusty observed. “But we won today, didn't we?” Nathan asked, looking at Fay. “You were there.” “Yes, and I still think it was a success, but based primarily on his body language, Wano's keeping a lot of emotions bottled up,” Fay stated. “He is. There's a lot going on in there,” Dusty said. “He cares a lot about you too. And he doesn't know how to control that.” “Ha... So you’re telling me his proposal was real then?” Nathan asked, chuckling uncomfortably. “Proposal? Of what, marriage?” Fay asked. “Yeah. Last night. I mean, I figured he was using it as a way to stay longer,” Nathan said. “I didn't think his feelings were serious.” “Nathan, I swear humans are so oblivious...” Fay rubbed his forehead. “It's no wonder Wano is so uptight. He literally just got rejected by you and then he had to sit here and try to play nice with your boyfriend, which he clearly was not good at doing because he kept trying to justify why Dax was a weaker man. For an Eclulan, a species with the emotional control of a five-year-old, he has shown incredible restraint today.” “So, then... This is my fault?” Nathan asked. “Well, no...” Fay tilted his head. “Well, I don't know... I think it was nice of you to help Wano with his hearing, but when someone gets rejected, they usually need less time with the other person, not more. It really doesn't help having Dax involved in it either.” “He was genuinely ready to physically fight Dax for your affection,” Dusty added. “What if he does, though? What if he went to go do that?” Nathan asked. “I can’t let them fight!” “Nathan, relax,” Fay said. “They’re not going to fight.” Dusty shook his head. “No, those were definitely crying vibes.” “Should I do something?” Nathan asked, starting to sweat. “You should eat your food,” Fay insisted. “The boys will sort themselves out. Don't feel responsible for them.” “You just told me that my rejection is why this is happening.” “Sure, but how someone takes rejection is entirely upon themselves,” Fay said. “Now, if I wasn't a married man, I'd happily get Wano's mind off you, but those days are behind me.” “I'm not married,” Dusty stated. They both looked at him. “What are you saying?” Nathan queried. “What are either of you saying?” “Fay meant he'd seduce him, right?” Dusty continued. “I could do that. I'm free of my bindings and he's pretty cute.” “Well, now that's a thought,” Fay said chuckling. “What? No, I don't need you to seduce Wano. I mean, if you like him, you do you, but like…” Nathan groaned and rubbed his temples. “This is not what I expected…” “Expected of what?” Fay asked. Nathan sighed. “Dr. Gardi said I give off a lot of pheromones in my condition…so I should expect a lot of admirers.” “Oohhh… Well then, you’re with the right people,” Fay said smiling. “We know exactly what that’s like.” Dusty nodded smiling. “Really?” Nathan asked. “How?” “Nathan, I’m a siren. Dusty’s a succubus. We also attract a lot of attention.” “It’s true,” Dusty conquered. “Since I started working here, I have been getting so many gifts and letters and co-workers in my DMs… Or at least parts that I believe are attached to co-workers… Frankly, I’m really not used to being this available.” “If you thought I kept a lot of juice boxes in my office because I have seven babies at home, you’d be wrong,” Fay stated. “Sugared water counteracts the allure of a siren.” Nathan rubbed the back of his neck. “Geez… So I guess you guys get it… But, how do you know if someone actually loves you for you?” “Aw, I don’t know about Dusty, but for me…” Fay mused, touching his lip. “I knew Dari was actually in love with me because he wasn’t.” “What?” “When we first met, me and Dari, he was nothing like he is now. He was completely traumatised and socially isolated,” Fay said. “My main job was to counsel extraterrestrials, not people, but they assigned me to him because they figured my attraction would help him open up. And it did, but unlike others, it only got him that far. He wasn’t immediately attracted to me like everyone else, he just became a lot calmer. He was basically the one person who I actually had to try to impress. In fact, he was rather hostile at first. It made me feel like a novice, but I made it a goal for myself to make him fall in love with me. What I didn’t expect was to fall in love with him too.” “That sounds...complicated,” Nathan said. “...But it sounds like you just saw him as a challenge.” “Perhaps... I'll admit my intentions may not have been pure, but in the end, I love him and our children very much.” “Okay...” “For me, I can just turn it off,” Dusty said. “If I want to know if someone loves me, I just have turn off the charm and see what happens... Although, if I'm bound to someone, they're immune to my allure. So you don't want to be bound to someone who doesn't actually love you... It's a nightmare.” “I don’t think I'll have that problem...” Nathan admitted. “Well, now. You might not end up in a demon's contract but, there's still the human equivalent,” Dusty said. “What's that?” Nathan asked. “Marriage of course,” Dusty said. “Socially binding yourself to someone for eternity doesn't sound any less suffocating than a demon binding... No offence, Fay.” “Oh none taken. I wouldn't encourage anyone to take up such a contract if they weren't completely invested in their relationship.” Nathan sighed. “You guys can turn it off, but I can’t…” “Hm? Oh, you mean the pheromones?” Fay asked. “It’s alright, Nathan. You’ll learn something I’m sure. You’re young and unmarried though. I’d be having fun with it.” “I’m a father of two,” Nathan said. “I barely have time for Dax, let alone any other poor guy who wants…werewolf tail…” Grace started to act up and little wolf ears sprouted from her head as she pawed at Nathan’s chest and whined. “Ah, speaking of father of two…” “They’re hungry, aren’t they?” Fay observed. “Yeah… I’d rather feed them back in my room,” Nathan said. “I still haven’t even had a chance to finish my lunch though…” “I’ll see if the kitchen has a box you can use for takeaway,” Fay suggested, getting up. “Be right back.” Nathan nodded. “Thanks, Fay.” Dusty rested his chin on his hand and peered softly at the twins. “They’re so adorable at that age, aren’t they?” “Yeah…” Nathan said, trying to calm Grace down by stroking her head. “Though, I can’t wait for when they’ll be able to walk on their own. Carrying twins everywhere is killing my back.” “Oh, you might regret it,” Dusty said lightly. “When my little guy started walking, he was more of a tripper than a walker. The bumps and scrapes made my heartache.” “You have a son?” “Yeah. Grey. He’ll be four next month,” Dusty said. “He’s my everything.” “Aw, that’s so sweet,” Nathan said. “I’m surprised Fay hasn’t gotten you to come join our group.” “Oh, he’s mentioned it. I just don’t think I can spare the time,” Dusty said. “I like to spend Friday nights with Grey when I have him.” “You can bring him!” Nathan said. “There’ve been little ones there before. When I’m more able, I’ll likely bring the twins.” “I’ll think about it. But don’t let me keep you.” “Right. Feeding.” Nathan got up. “I’ll see you around, I’m sure.” “Yes,” Dusty nodded. “But also, to be safe... That Wano. He’s up for grabs, right? I wouldn’t be stepping on any territory?” “Oh, I mean, if you like him, go for it,” Nathan said. “But he does require a lot of patience.” Dusty nodded. “Oh, I got that. I was patient with my ex for many years.” “Alright. See ya.” “Bye, bye, now.”

[purplesurveys]

1020

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - What’s your average grocery bill for the week? How many people/animals does that have to feed? Could you cut it down if you had to? Around P10,000 every 1-2 weeks, which feeds five adults and two animals. I think it can definitely be cut down, considering a chunk of that bill comes from snacks or other fancy ingredients/condiments that we could technically do without.

2 - When was the last time you were woken up in the middle of the night? Two days ago, from the typhoon’s winds. It’s a good thing I woke up because my windows had been open through the night and they could’ve smashed against the pane and into a million pieces if the wind proceeded to push them.

3 - Have you done anything out of the ordinary so far today? I charged my phone through my dad’s car twice so I can stay aligned with what was going on at work today. I ended up having to file for an emergency leave (...four days into my role, how embarrassing) because the electricity didn’t come back until 4 PM today and because I was also unable to leave home to work in a coffee shop or mall with my village still submerged in flood for all of today – which meant I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with my tasks and meetings. It was so irritating to miss out on things and I felt really guilty for having to be absent less than a week into my new job. UGH. Better days, plz.

4 - How long is it until your birthday? Five months and a week exactly.

5 - Do you have a lot of debt? How long do you think it’ll take you to pay it all off? No debt.

6 - When was the last time you had to take time off work or school to attend an appointment? Last Thursday and Friday. I got my job offer last Wednesday and was expected to submit a mountain of requirements and government IDs before reporting for my first day this Monday, so I had no choice but to devote the whole of Thurs and Fri to completing those reqs.

7 - Do you get paid if you’re off sick from work? Do you think the number of sick days would change if you did or didn’t get paid? No. Not yet, at least.

8 - What colour was the last animal you saw? White with black eyes, nose, and pawprints.

9 - When’s your next payday? Do you have anything you need to buy when you get paid? Around a week and a half from now. I have to start buying Christmas presents, for sure.

10 - What kind of face mask do you prefer to use - re-usable or disposable? I don’t really have a preference but because my mom buys boxes of the disposable kind, it’s what I use.

11 - If someone told you five years ago, that you’d be living through a global pandemic, do you think you’d believe them? Absolutely the fuck not lmao. We were all so excited about 2020 and it being a new decade, and people even made a shit ton of memes about “20/20 vision” for years - there was no way anyone could’ve predicted a global pandemic, at least one of this scale.

12 - Is your state or country under any form of lockdown or “stay at home” order at the moment? Are you following the “rules” of that? People under the age of 21 are still prohibited from going out, as far as I know. But generally, the rules are a lot more loose now compared to the last few months. Everyone’s still required to wear face masks and face shields and practice social distancing while all public places have temperature checks, floor mats, and alcohol/hand sanitizers, of course; but it’s no longer out of the ordinary to hear of people going to the mall again or even dining out at restaurants. I follow the rules, because it’s really not too hard to keep myself and thus other people safe.

13 - What flavour were the last potato chips you ate? Sour cream and onion, but I didn’t like them. My parents got me salted egg flavored chips today though and I’m excited to open them :)

14 - If you have pets, do you let them sleep in or on your bed with you? Kimi never liked the bed, so he’s always slept under mine instead of beside me. Cooper’s a big ball of energy incapable of settling on a bed, and he needs to be in his crate to let him know it’s bedtime.

15 - Would you rather watch a sitcom, a reality show, or a documentary? I love all of these and I’m always open to watching any of them as long as I’m in the right mood for them. I don’t have a favorite and some days I’ll just be in a documentary mood, some days a reality TV mood, and other days a sitcom kind of mood.

16 - Do you have a favourite celebrity chef? Gordon Ramsay 100%. He’s entertaining across the board; his Hot Ones interview is my favorite, haha.

17 - When was the last time you did a load of laundry? Not in charge of that chore.

18 - Do you have anything interesting planned for tomorrow? What day is it tomorrow, anyway? Nah. I think I’ll have to do work tomorrow considering I had to go on leave today, which is okay. It’s nice to be busy on a weekend for once. Tomorrow is Saturday.

19 - Have you ever been in therapy or counselling? Did you find it useful? No but I’ve been considering it for a while, especially after the events of September lol. I do believe it will be useful and plenty helpful, yes, that’s why I’m finally warming up to the idea.

20 - What was the last film you watched? Is it one of your favourites? I didn’t finish it but I watched the first 20 minutes of a local movie called That Thing Called Tadhana. I wouldn’t say it’s one of my favorites, but it’s definitely a significant movie for me.

21 - Would you say you're an organised person? In what ways are you organised or disorganised? Eh, I’m right in the middle. I’m organized at work but I’m not super strict with myself when it comes to my personal space. Like if I’m able to keep my room organized it’s great, but if I’m unable to maintain it it’s not the end of the world. At work I like keeping my things color-coordinated and filed neatly in different folders or spreadsheets; at home I always seem to know where everything is, no matter how messy my space has gotten.

22 - Would you rather read a fantasy novel or an auto-biography? Autobiography, for sure.

23 - When was the last time someone paid for something for you? My parents bought groceries today.

24 - Do you have an open fire? If not, would you like one? I don’t know what this is. Is this a fireplace? Because if it is, we have no use for that here.

25 - What do you do with your old technology once you upgrade or get something new? Keep it around for emergencies, or hand it down to a sibling.

26 - If you were given the choice, would you solve a problem by speaking to someone on the phone, in person or via e-mail? Depends on who they are, tbh. The closer I am to someone, the more likely I am to take a more personal approach in handling an issue with them.

27 - Do you have an alarm set for tomorrow morning? What time do you need to get up? Nope, because it’s finally Saturday.

28 - What are you wearing at the moment? I’m wearing an old shirt from high school and a pair of shorts.

29 - Is there anyone else in the room with you? What are they doing right now? Just Kimi. Sleeping.

30 - Do people in real life know that you take surveys? If they don’t, is there a particular reason that you’ve never told them? Nah, there was never a reason to tell people...it just never comes up, really. Even if it ever does, it’d take too much explanation and I never feel like going through that, especially if they won’t be able to see what exactly I post anyway.

[lotornomiko]

Dark Enchanted Forest AU That I don't Yet Have A Title For One

Gift fic for my best friend....she fangirls the darkness from my fic, Beyond Here Lies Darkness. It's a dark dark fic meant to cheer her up.

Everlasting night has fallen over the land, and been that way for centuries, courtesy of the Dark One, who demands a monthly tribute of female flesh. Princess Emma doesn't think this or the fact no one has tried to fight the darkness, right, and decides to go to it, as its monthly tribute, but really goes with the intention of being the savior that vanquishes the darkness once and for all. She's about to find herself vastly outmatched.

Even in the darkest hour, there is always some light, as Emma is about to discover first hand the truth behind the tributes, and just what that power inside her is, and what it means to the Darkness...

No Storybrooke, it's an Enchanted Forest AU...dark dark fic as my friend wanted.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26137747/chapters/63588682

This here is a gift fic dedicated to my bestie, Huntress...Recently I inadvertently spoiled something that has to do with the planned ending for my Beyond Here Lies Darkness fic. She was pretty devastated about it, to the point to try and cheer her up, I am trying to do a fic where the Darkness wins. It’s meant to be a dark fic, but it’s not set in Storybrooke, as I couldn’t see Emma Swan as ever truly giving in and submitting to the dark or forgiving it...however I started brainstorming, and thought maybe some crazy Enchanted Forest AU, where the curse was never cast, so Emma grew up a Princess..

This is meant to be a dark fic, so please be advised, there will be rape/non con/forced seduction (Whatever flavor you prefer to call it personally), and violence among other themes. If blatant dark themes are not your cup of tea, I strongly advise you to turn back. The first chapter may start off somewhat light, but I can guarantee it won’t STAY that way for long….

----Michelle

There’s the mad stampede of what had to be over one thousand hooves hitting dirt, stone, and whatever else lay covering an ill repaired and not often used path. Easily close to five hundred horses pounding down that shamble of a road, splitting the long abandoned pavement further apart. They brought with them the sound of thunder, and the desperate fury of the King and Queen’s army, that bright regime colored in soft blues and golds, and armed to the teeth for the war they were prepared to wage. For beneath the thin fabric of their kingdom’s color, lay the glint of the metallic, the armor each man wore, many covered from head to toe, the steel and iron painted with symbols that had nothing to do with their country, and everything to do with being wards of protection.

Those wards extended from every known corner of the land, some dating back hundreds, if not thousands of years in age. Dark inks and in some cases actual blood, used to create those desperate symbols in which they all pinned their hopes on, that desperate army continued on, pushing down that pathway that was looking more and more like the forest ahead of them was hell bent on reclaiming it entirely, the horses were worked to the fine lather of their limits, and beyond, several of the magnificent steeds suddenly just dropping down abruptly.

No one turned, no one even paused, horses made to go around, even jump over the obstacles of their brethren. With snorts of exhaustion, and even the occasional whinny of fear, these fine examples of flesh, were made to run, to give chase even at the personal cost to themselves. Those few horses who dared tried to slow down, were whipped by merciless hands, no quarter or rest given by an army in so fervent a pursuit.

Their quarry, not more than a few dozen kilometers away, flew with the grace and speed of something unholy. It was more than a self righteous fury, or that need to self sacrifice for the good of the people. It wasn’t even that self possessed determination, the woman already half caught and she just didn’t have the good sense to realize it. Her horse ran and it ran without tiring, the long bright gold of the woman’s hair streaming out behind her like a beacon, the only source of light in an otherwise in a never ending black that was the eternal night of this world.

That night had blanketed the world on a day none living had ever had the privileged to have seen. Not this generation, or the last, or the many that preceded them. The sun in all its rumored glory, had been lost, the world cast into this void of cold and dark, where each soul had been left, battered and afraid, clinging to what they could for comfort and warmth. They weren’t a forsaken people, though abandoned by all that was holy they were, the one being they could dare to compare to God, the very creature who had plummeted them all into this eternity of madness.

The Dark One.

It was a whispered thought in all their minds, that being of pure evil, a creature none had lived to see and talk about. Its menace however, was felt throughout the world, and not just for the sun it had stolen from them. The famine and the desperation, the sacrifices made, the tribute it demanded on a monthly basis, all the lives lost as a result. There was nothing but despair to be found, and yet a determined people kept trying, living and adapting through the many horrors, clinging to one another in these desperate moments, whole civilizations worth of people working to get by as best they could. Even with that horrible price looming over their heads, daughters, sisters, even wives, lost to that darkness.

No one knew WHY the dark demanded a new female be brought to it each month, just that it did, a life sacrificed every month for hundreds of years, so that everyone must else might keep on surviving.  It was a necessity that no one much liked, but the cost against going against the Dark One, had already proven time and time again too high. The greater good of the many was bought on the backs of that monthly tribute.

It was disgusting! Her stomach curled with just the thought of it, with how beaten down everyone, including her parents, were. A King and A Queen, not even they tried to defy the Dark One. They, ALL of them, just went on living that bleak existence, bartered off of a sacrifice that brought nothing but misery and more tears, no one was left unaffected, not a single family, not even that of the nobility. But the princess’ time had never come, not in all of her twenty one years of life. She was told to be grateful for the miracle of being overlooked, to just keep on living her life for as long as she still had it, but the princess simply couldn’t. She had seen the devastation done to those called upon, to the pain and heartbreak of their family and loved ones, to the resignation of the one marked for sacrifice. She couldn’t, wouldn’t feel grateful for being spared that, not when everyone should be doing more than just accepting the tribute as a permanent part of life. That it had been centuries however, since anyone had thought to hunt down and fight the Dark One, didn’t much matter. If everyone, including her parents, were too cowardly to face it, then let the princess herself be the one to put an end to this madness!

With that thought, that DESIRE in mind, she felt bouncing at her back, the stuffed quiver of her mother’s best made arrows. The princess was good with a bow, and stood a better chance of winning with that than with the sword she had stolen from her father’s armory. She had brought it all the same, though the young woman didn’t expect to win if it came down to a clashing of swords. The Dark One was fast, this ancient, evil entity one of magic and cruelty. The princess’ best chance, was to strike from a far, an arrow to that black heart that felt and knew nothing of love and good.

Behind her in vigorous pursuit was an army, the men that her parents had dispatched to stop her. She couldn’t help feel a small smidge of resentment that they could send out the military for this, for her, but not let loose the soldiers to take down the dark menace who had terrorized the world for centuries. She couldn’t hate them for it though, for no parent had ever found it easy to send a daughter off to the Dark One’s forest.

Her parents no different, no less loving than any other who had lost a daughter as tribute, not even their heart break could get the princess to stop. Her ambition, as mad as it was, was also an act of desperate and determined heroics, a savior needing to bring to end this never ceasing cycle of terror and cruelty, and with none in sight, the princess had appointed the only one who was still willing to try! It did not make for her being any less nervous and afraid, every step forward one step closer to what might be her spectacular victory, or an equally as unimpressive a failure.

The dark forest loomed in the distance, all gnarled wood, and menacing atmosphere. A bolt of stray lightning seemed to split the sky, but any rumble of thunder was lost to the sound of all those horses running. She urged her own ride faster, the stallion whinnying in a distress that didn’t have all to do with the fact they have been journey for more than two nights worth of time. He too was nervous, nostrils flaring as though the animal scented something foul. The princess could only whisper a prayer, fervently hoping she wasn’t about the be thrown from his back or worse.

Never once did it cross her mind, that there might be one more pair of eyes watching. Narrowed with a considering gleam that compelled the horse forward. The beast snorted and whined with its fear, its legs moving not of its own accord, bringing the princess, the tribute, closet to her ultimate destiny. The stallion picked up speed, the distance widening between it and the army in pursuit, and this time when lightning flashed, it struck down on the ground directly behind her, splintering it in such a way, that the first of the horses reared up in alarm.

The princess heard the cry, heard the man shouting in an effort to calm his horse down. She might have even spared a glance back over her shoulder, but the mist was upon her, swallowing her and her steed up. It was the shock of wet ice upon her, and impossible to see through, but the stallion kept plowing forward. Fear of a different kind caused her to try and pull on the beasts’ reins, the princess fearing they would stumble headfirst into the border of the Dark One’s forest, and smash against one of the many thick trees.

The horse seemed to ignore her, running forward even faster now. Long gone was the sound of the pursuit, the eerie quiet of the mist disrupted only by a night hawk’s screeching overhead. One hand’s fingers still tangled upon the reins, the princess began to unfasten the delicate in appearance cross bow from the topmost saddle bag. An arrow was quickly slid into slot, wires primed and made ready, the princess wide eyed and alert, fearing as though the entire forest would hear the terrified beat of her heart.

Abruptly, both wet and shaking from the mist, they found themselves THERE, not at its borders, but inside the deepest part of the woods. The princess couldn’t quite contain her gasp, the trees that surrounded her so tightly knitted together, that there was only one path, with no room for maneuvering, the horse padding to a stop. It panted from its exhaustion, pushed beyond the limits of its endurance, the horse’s legs actually shaking.  The princess had no way of knowing that the horse’s deathly pallor, wasn’t entirely all her own fault, but that a dark magic had also been at work. She just heard the tired exhale, the stallion close to breathing out its last breaths, and found herself to blame.

“I am sorry.” The princess whispered, stroking the horse’s coarse mane one last time, before sliding off its back. “And thank you...” She didn’t make to remove any of the saddle bags, knowing she needed to be light on her feet to be quick enough to stand a chance against that which she was hunting.

Her eyes used to the dark of night, were in no way prepared for the sudden burst of light in the distance. It wasn’t the sun though, wasn’t even the blaze of a fire, or the soft illumination of the kingdom’s many lamps. Each one was barely bigger than her thumb, and so low to the ground, as though to light the way for her feet. She thought that strange, and was made leery, realizing that someone, or rather some THING was expecting her now.

The shiver that went through the princess, didn’t have all to do with the cold left over from the mist. She found herself shaking with every step, though never once did she hesitate. It was simply too late for any second thoughts, and she was about to die a hero, not run away sniveling and crying like a coward. She followed the light, that continued to pop up just ahead of her. It was never enough to get her bearings, though it did keep her from tripping over the gnarled and exposed roots of several trees. She never once saw sign of a living thing, though she heard it all the same. Howls of what had to be wolves, sharp squawks of birds, even the buzz of insects. And larger yet, something big and heavy crashing about, something so immense in size, she hoped that it wasn’t the Dark One that she had to face.

She kept walking, her unease building from all the noise that the princess was hearing. It was making her border on hysteria, the princess starting to take aim in the direction of the worst sounds. She was no longer watching the light that guided her, the tip of her boot hitting something solid. She quickly spun in its direction, ready to fire off an arrow, and realized nothing was in front of her. Nothing that is, except for the half formed skull of some long dead human. Was it from the monthly tribute, or was it even older than that, some hero who had once sought to put an end to the very creature she too now hunted? It was too dark to say, and she was in no condition to want to truly contemplate either answer for neither would bring her any solace.

She moved on, stepping over the remains of the skull, but also keeping attuned to the sounds. It was so noisy, the loudest of sounds to perhaps cover what might already be upon her. She led with her crossbow, the pointed tip of the arrow ready and willing to spring free at a split second’s notice. It was getting harder and harder to NOT let loose with an arrow, her fear almost palpable, worries and insecurities trying to lay into her like a heavy cloak.

“This was a mistake.” They said. “You should have never have come. You’re not strong enough to do what needs to be done. You will NEVER be strong enough. No one will.”

She tried not to give in, didn’t so much as lower her crossbow, not certain if that was her fears talking, or that of the Dark One messing her with mind.

“I am not afraid of you!” She cried out in bold face lie.

“But you will be.” Immediate was her answer, the arrow flying towards the direction of that voice. She heard a telling thunk, realized it had not struck whoever had spoken, but instead had slammed into the bark of a tree. The princess swore in a way most unbecoming of a lady, and quickly reached towards the quiver on her back.  Laughter accompanied her movements, low but decidedly male sounding, and ever so amused. She loaded and primed the crossbow, shot it off in the direction where she thought the laughter originated from. That one went further, whistling through the air, until it abruptly went silent. As though it had been pluck mid flight, with no rhyme or reason as to what might have happened to it. The same result would follow with the next arrow the princess fired off, and the next, until soon all she had left was an empty quiver, the now made useless crossbow, and her father’s stolen sword at her hip.

She closed her eyes briefly for one moment, made dizzy and further afraid. She was certain she stood no chance at winning, not with a blade as her one and only defense. She reached for it all the same, the young woman determined to go down fighting rather than just lay down and die. It was a scream not a whimper, that escaped her, the princess charging blindly forward, swinging wildly. She was not expecting the metal to meet with her sword, or the sparks that resulted from the two connecting. It still wasn’t enough light, but she caught the shadowy figure of what had to be a man. The Dark One!? Or someone pretending to be him!? She wasn’t even sure the latter was possible, no one could be so daring, so INSANE!

The sword pushed at hers, the princess forced back several steps. With the connection broken, so too did the sparks leave them, that form once again lost to the darkness of the forest. She was literally left fighting blind, swinging her father’s sword about wildly, hoping against hope to hit against something. The only time that she did, was to meet that metal blade once more, sparks flying up to reveal bits and pieces of that shadowy form that advanced upon her unrelentingly. It never once made the starting move, always leaving the young woman to advance with the offensive,

“Stop toying with me!” She snapped, furious to realize that creature was only PLAYING with her. “Fight me fair, and fight me real!”

“Fair it can never be...” Came the dismissal. “But if it is real you be wanting, that I can do.” The satisfaction that slithered in that voice, was accompanied by the first true offensive move, the princess just barely getting her sword up in time. Her arms HURT from the effort, the blow that struck her father’s sowrd, felt to the marrow of the young woman’s bones. There was no time to recover, or reconsider her words, another attack coming, and another, her sword making desperate but ultimately paltry attempts at fending off the barrage. She was being driven back, step by step, and sapped of her strength and bravado bit by stinging. Worse, the only light that now was, came from the sparks of the two blades clashing, steel against steel grinding together, and each time her sword was a little slower, her arms just that much more tired.

She was LOSING. She felt it every time she got cut, small slices here and there that bled thickly, and strung sharply, but weren’t ultimately killing blows. It made her angry, and it made the princess ever more desperate, the young woman suddenly abandoning her defense, to stab her sword downwards, towards what she hoped was the man---the creature’s thigh. She heard a hiss, hers and his, each strike landing true. The princess fell back against a tree for support, her breath coming out in wild pants that were just short of hyperventilating. She had been stabbed, as effectively as he---IT had been, but only one of them was the worse for wear.

“Good form.”

“Go rot in hell.” Is what she spat out at it. There was a long beat of anticipation, one that went on for much too long. “What are you waiting for!?” The princess demanded, and pained as she was, she still managed to let the defiance gleam in her expression. “DO IT!” She had meant the last as a means to goad him into ending her at long last, and not the kiss she received instead.

She still couldn’t see him---it truly, but she felt it all the same, a hot heavy mouth pressing down against hers, lips that were firm and cruel, and unrelenting in their need to absolutely dominate. They didn’t ask, and they certainly didn’t beg, her surrender a demand it expected her to heed. The princess started to gasp in response, skin crawling in unease, and then thought better of it, biting down hard on the lip. She tasted the coppery tang of blood, heard a grunt that wasn’t wholly dissatisfied, the kiss continuing unabated.

Desperate, and panicked in a way that was wholly new to her, the princess tried to shove her attacker off balance. A growl was her reward, a body pressing against hers with an urgent grind that couldn’t hide the weapon still stuck inside. She let him have the kiss, let him think he was victorious, while surreptitiously making her move. This time when her hands landed on him, it wasn’t to push him away, but to signal her acceptance of the situation. Her soft little lips voiced a sigh, letting his tongue slip inside. It was her first experience with such a kiss, and she was charmingly clumsy in her deceit, her fingers stroking down, down his body, searching and exploring, and he didn’t seem to suspect a thing. Not until after her fingers closed around the hilt of her father’s sword, the princess somehow managing to wrench it free of the man—the monster’s leg in a less than fluid like motion.

There was a snarl, more furious surprise than any true pain voiced, the sword’s bloodied tip being pressed to the creature’s chest. The princess grip was a white knuckled one, her sword arm shaking from the effort to keep it up. “Any last words, monster!?”

The laugh that followed such words, was darkly sinister, rolling through her. She shivered in response, but did not let it destroy her defiance and determination. “So be it then!” She said, and used the last of dwindling strength to piece the Dark One’s heart.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued….

Hmm….can’t really think of much to say at the moment.  Got a lot going on in real life, though I suspect we all do, cause of the virus...been trying to find my writing muse, but not having much luck on that front. This be a gift fic for my best friend, and I think I covered what I wanted to say in the author’s note before the fic started….

Later…

Michelle

]

[gotmeringinghellsbells]

Hullo! I was wondering if you could write a shiro x Curtis x Adam story where Curtis is struggling with his mental health and the abuse he faced in the past while trying to act as if he’s okay only to have Adam or shiro find out how bad he’s actually doing accidentally. Sorry if this is a bit of an angsty request I just thought you could make the ending cute. Have a lovely day!

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender

Characters: Adam, Curtis, and Takashi Shirogane

A/N: Hi, a month or more and eight-nine pages later I have finished! I honestly got too into this prompt, I hope you enjoy! I also didn’t get a chance to spell check so I apologize if there are any errors.

Description: After an encounter with an eight legged intruder, Curtis finds himself in a miserable situation. After some times, he opens up to his husbands of two years and explains his back story and why they’ve only seen his grandmother and sister. 

_

He’d always been taught to be reserved, to shut his mouth and keep it shut. He was taught through fear and pain to be obedient, and to be independent. It wasn’t until the tender age of fourteen that he could get away, to study on a government base and become someone successful. But he was influenced and heavily, mentally damaged. His husbands never seemed to notice however, and that’s how Curtis Shirogane liked it. 

Adam and Shiro had their own issues to deal with as it was. Between Shiro’s PTSD, Adam’s anxiety, and even beyond any disorders influenced by their time in space and apart from each other. To Curtis, bringing his issues to them felt like a burden; almost as if his problems were less important in comparison. 

From this, he kept his feelings hidden, only showing them to his dog. Cuddles in the dark of the night, only being illuminated by cartoons on the large television screen; walks around town, stopping to relax in the park and stare at the clouds or stars, Spice truly was his best friend.

But…. Spice couldn’t always help him. Sometimes he needed the touch of another human, the attention, the love, and even the protection. The protection from what? From his thoughts. They’re intrusive and reminding, they haunt Curtis on a weekly basis…. Which lately had been becoming more daily.

The presence of an eight legged intruder certainly didn’t help their either. 

Gray eyes were wide as sunkissed hands shook. Soft lips trembled, twitching ever so slightly as something tried to come out from the sealed, flesh doors; but nothing could. Curtis was frozen on the spot in fear, a mug of coffee in his hand. The words coming from a returning, jog sweaty Shiro reached his ears like muffled whispers as the world focused in on one thing and one thing only: spider. 

His pulse was increased, anxiety kicking in as all his senses focused on one object only. ‘Your not in the cage, your in your home,’ a voice inside his head called. ‘Get a hold of yourself! The others will notice! You don’t want them to leave your childish ass, do you?’ But the youngest of the three could not move. Curtis stood stiff and silnet, the rest of the world fading out. “Curtis,” the muffled voice called out softly. Shiro had noticed the other’s noticed  lack of response. It wasn’t like Curtis to space out on something unless he was extremely bored or feeling awkward, but he had just come down and given Shiro a kiss in exchange for coffee. 

For him to space out now made no sense. It wasn’t until the coffee in the mug started to drip on the floor that the older became more alert; Curtis was shaking. The shorter rushed over, taking Curtis gently into a hug before studying his face. It wasn’t too cold i the house and Curtis was a healthy man, he had no medical issues. In Shiro’s panicked mind he was looking for anything to answer the question of what was going on. “Morning,” a new voice came from the doorway. The soothing, deep, groggy voice usually would soothe the two.

Adam yawned as he rubbed the sleep out of his good eye. Glancing forward, he could make out the blurry images of his two husbands hugging in the middle of the kitchen. He quirked a brow before hearing Shiro’s panicked voice. “I don’t know what’s going on,” he cried softly. Was something wrong? Damn, the brunette should have brought his glasses down. 

“What do you mean?” He sounded slightly alarmed as he walked closer. The lack of animals present clued him into something very much being wrong, or that they hadn’t noticed yet. As the professor moved closer, he could hear the harsh breath of the youngest of the trio. “Curtis?” Adam gently touched his arm, earning a jolt. 

Shiro watched as gray eyes darted to the place he’d been touched before quickly moving back to the floor. That moment is what scared the veteran the most. A trained reaction, Curtis had a trained, survival reaction. Taking the mug slowly, Shiro set it on the island’s cutting board before looking closely to where Curtis was. 

His focused was distracted by his own thoughts and theories. Could Curtis have PTSD too? Why had he never shown signs before? Had he shown signs before and Adam and himself never noticed? It wasn’t until the small, dark creature moved from a black square to a white one that the other noticed the cause of fear. 

Shock came over Shiro as he looked up to see Curtis’s gaze. Adam was trying to get him to look at him, or his attention in general, but no matter where his face was, his eyes were on the white tile now. Aracnaphobia? Shiro squished the small intruder, a small feeling of guilt coming over him as he did so. 

Lance had arachnophobia though…. He would act similar but not as drastic. Everyone was different, yes, but Curtis was acting as if he was being hunted by a predator; like his life was at stake. When Shiro moved his socked foot away, Curtis could see the result of the action. His nerves slowly relaxed as his shaking started to slow. His heart rate started to function normally once more, eyes relaxing as arms wrapped around him comfortingly. “Curtis,” Adam asked with worry as he rubbed the smaller’s arm. “Are you alright?” 

Gary met gary as Shiro started to stand with equally worry filled eyes. Curtis’s watered as his face turned red from embarrassment and shame. “Yeah, sorry.” He tried to move from Adam’s hold rather quickly. As he broke free and headed for his coffee, Shiro stopped him. “Hey…. we’re here if you need to ever talk you know.” The taller nodded as he took his mug. “I know.” As he turned on his heel to leave, the other two husbands looked at each other with looks of worry. 

They wouldn’t push the matter, but they would ask someone else if they knew anything. The only family Adam and Shiro had ever been introduced to was Curtis’s sister: Hannah, and his grandmother: Muriel. Whenever visiting Muriel’s small apartment or Hannah’s home, Adam noticed there were never any pictures of anyone from Curtis’s side of the family but the three. There was no discussion about parents, neither husband ever bothered to ask. The same went for aunts, uncles, and cousins.

It wasn’t until now that all of this crossed his mind: were Curtis and Hannah victims of abuse? His heart stopped as his stomach turned to lead. He looked to Shiro was dread filled eyes as he handed Adam the phone. They’d try Hannah first and hope not to open any old wounds. 

The phone call with Hannah was brief as she was having morning sickness, but her husband seemed to tip them rather generously. Muriel had told him some of the kids’ past, but he felt it wasn’t his place to tell them. Following the directions, Adam felt his eyes burn as emotion came over him, Shiro hiding his face in his hands. “They hide it pretty well, don’t they?” The question would forever haunt the two husbands. “I… I guess,” Shiro answered, voice wavering. He could hear Muriel choking up on her side of the phone. 

“That’s my fault. They came to me and told me what was happening. Neither were liars, but I knew neither wanted to live with that piece of shit. So I asked their mother, and didn’t see them for almost a year after. They refused to talk to me about home or almost anything again after that. It was almost like a tease and I didn’t realize it until Hannah moved out for college and Curtis came and asked me to enroll him in the Garrison.”

Neither husband realized she had so much money until now. She’d been saving her whole life and put so much of it into where Curtis and Hannah’s parents should have. ‘It’s my fault he’s like this, Hannah too. I’m sorry boys. Just…. Give him some space for a while so he can calm down. The only other person he’s ever told about this was Ryan Kinkade, the others just started to mimic his actions whenever there was a spider or a fight. They were like his knights.”

Shiro started to rub Adam’s back as he collapsed slightly into himself. They could hear the older woman crying. “I should have been there for them, I should hav….. I’m sorry.” She took a breath to bring herself away from her guilt. “I’ll talk to you boys later. Let me know if you have any other questions, alright?” Shiro took the phone off of speaker before replying softly into the mic. With a click of a button, he set the device down face first onto the counter. 

“It’s been two years,” Adam growled softly. Shiro hugged him softly, kissing his head. Adam had always been the more emotional based one; as in he knew what to do give certain situations or at least how to act. “Adam,” Shiro sighed, not knowing how to react right now. “We were talking about having kids Takashi. Kashi we don’t even know him! He’s been dealing with this on his shoulders for most of his life and hasn’t said anything to us, ever!” 

Shiro sat back as Adam started to mash his emotions into one. He was angry at himself and Shiro for this, neither had ever thought anything of Curtis that way. Sure, he didn’t like fighting, but neither did Keith when he started to live with them. But they had separate reactions, which meant Adam and Shiro had different reactions to it. Neither questioned anything for over two years of marriage, for three of being together. 

“We couldn’t have….. He didn’t want to talk to us about it. If you compose yourself we can try to check on him.” Shiro was trying to just stay calm. He was hurt and…. Felt terrible; but this wasn’t the time for self pity. They were going to have a talk with Curtis about this. If they wanted to be a family they had to trust each other and be open to their issues. Barriers lead to other barriers, which can lead to failure; which is not something you want to have when the three of you have been thinking about a child entering the family. 

Adam gently smacked his arm with a growl as he moved off of the bar stool and walked twoards the sink to rinse his face with some cold water. Shiro was right, now wasn’t the time to tear himself apart; it was the time to make things right. The two took another few minutes to compose themselves before heading off to talk to Curtis. 

Finding him wasn’t hard as Spice was screaming at the bedroom door, wanting to be let in. She knew something was wrong but she wasn’t allowed to enter. What the hell?! She barked, growled, whined, scratched, everything. Looking over her shoulder when she heard people coming up the stairs, she whined before getting mouthy and scratching at the door more. 

Adam let out a soft sigh before opening it for her. The mutt barreled into the room, circling the bed before pouncing onto it. Curtis jumped up when the door opened, white blankets flying forward before being forced down by large paws. The other looked to his husbands in fear before being distracted by a loving, wet tongue. 

He grunted before being fully pushed down by his over-sized, baby girl. “S-Spice,” he giggled. He started to giggle as a wet nose joined in the mix, moving around his face. Damn it, he was so ticklish! He giggled more as another dog joined the cuddle party. The tall, camo looking dog snuffed at the attempted service dog before growling at her. This was her human and her time for comfort!

Shiro jumped in quickly to pick up the small mixed breed before Spice took a chunk out of her face. “Curtis,” Adam asked softly as he tried to free him from Spice, “are you alright?” The other held his dog softly, slowly soothing her so he could breathe. “Yeah…. I’m sorry.” Sorry? “You have nothing to be sorry for,” Shiro stated as he set his dog in the hallway. “Stay here Pumpkin, okay?” She looked at him sadly before walking over to Adam’s cat (Coffee) and heading for the living room. 

“I know but… it was a little dramatic of a reaction.” He shyly scratched his baby’s ears before moving behind them. “Your…. Grandmother told us.” The scratches stop, gray eyes widening before looking to the two in shock. “We…. we should have realized sooner. I’m…. we’re so sorry love.” Shiro stood beside where Adam sat on the queen sized mattress. The other turned his head, holding Spice close. “What did she tell you?”Shiro and Adam looked a bit shocked before looking to each other with concern. “Well,” Shiro started. “The spider ordeal. Curtis, your safe, I promise.” It did mean a lot to hear that from Shiro; he knew what it was like to feel like this, but in his own way. “She regrets opening her mouth to…. Her daughter,” Adam joined. Curtis sighed. 

“She’d lost her job, and my dad couldn’t support us. To save money after my grandfather left her, grandma downsized to her current apartment and my mom refused to live with her for it. She had other issues with grandma but she never talked about it. 

“Dad suggested her brother, my uncle. She agreed as she had a grudge with grandma over something.”  Adam moved closer, sitting with crossed legs to listen to the other. Shiro sat on the edge of the bed, a hand resting on Spice as he listened. 

“I was ten, Hannah was fourteen. We shared a room across from his, our parents were on the other side of the house, in the garage, and another door lead to a level below that. Even if they could hear us, it didn’t matter. We spoke up to our grandmother for help once and….. Mom fucking,” both sat up right. Curtis, swearing? 

“She left a boot print on Hannah’s face and a hand print on both of my cheeks. We both started wearing makeup to school, otherwise we weren’t allowed to go.” He sounded slightly scattered, but if he was willing to share, the others wouldn’t say anything about it. 

“Old man slapped me when I told him about the cage and our uncle, said we deserved it for not being grateful for our home. Grateful for what? Having every Christmas present they spent money on destroyed in front of us by foot or fire, not allowed to move as he did so? 

“We stopped asking for things, the holidays had no joy anymore. Halloween, our costumes would be ruined, candy stolen; if we were even allowed outside that was. Thanksgiving was quiet, the adults only spoke. I can’t even remember anything else for holidays. If we were anything they didn’t want in that moment we were punished, even if we were just staying in our room. 

“Hannah was the first. He locked her in an old dog cage with blankets and Mr. Fuzz, but the lights were on. She tried to befriend the spider despite her fear and he tried to bite her. I have no idea if he was venomous or not, but we neer wanted to find out.” His eyes started to water as he snuggled under Spice more. The rescue whimpered before nuzzling him more, kissing his cheek.. 

Adam gently moved his hand forward to rub his husband’s back gently. Curtis jumped before sighing slightly, allowing the touch. “He always shoved me in that fucking cage, locked it with a key and shut the lights off. He’d touch me arms and back, trying to distract me… think it was on me. I would have to focus in the dark to see any movement. To get to… that point.” He started to shake gently before shaking his head. “Hannah left me for college, and I begged my grandmother to put me in the Garrison. 

“When I didn’t come back for the holidays, my mom started to call her, screaming that she took me from her. I was with Kinkade, his family offered me a place to stay over break. I never thought about the consequences, but I’d come so far from the kid that lived in that shit shack; I didn’t want to go back. Next thing I knew I got a call from my grandmother saying she was my caretaker now and I was coming home to her for now on.

“Her and Hannah put restraining orders on our parents and uncle, we still had to share a room when she came home but it was easier now.” He felt tears drip down his face before he received a kiss on his cheek. Curtis whimpered before leaning into the soft touch of the lips, Shiro joining in with his robotic hand. It stroked the dark locks in hopes to calm the male down. 

Two hours it took, two hours. Curtis was sandwiched between the two, finally calm. His cheeks were damp and pink, brows up turned as he received more nuzzling. “You can always talk to us,” Shiro hummed as he looked sadly into tired, bloodshot, gray eyes. He nodded. “I’m sorry. Just…. You both have your own issues, I didn’t want to add mine to the stress.” He jumped when Adam poked his stomach. “Too bad. We were worried about you, damn it. Speak up.” Curtis smiled softly before nodding. “Yeah, sorry Adam.” He received a kiss on the eyelids, his favorite place. 

He looked so exhausted, yet still rather depressed. Shiro grinned a bit before moving a hand to Curti’s neck. Both pairs of eyes fell onto him curiously. “Shiro?” Adam propped himself up slightly in interest. The other smiled dorkily. “Well…. If we are talking about kids, we’re all going to have to be able to slay eight-legged intruders.” He looked into the oldest of the three’s eyes. Adam was confused, but after hearing Curtis squeal for human fingers spidering on his neck, he understood. 

“Whahhahat,” Curtis exclaimed as he was assaulted. Adam gently moved to his ribs. Spice had left for a bathroom break during the cool down session and hadn’t been allowed back inside just yet; which meant the two had all the room in the world to torment the poor guy until he was happy. Curtis shrieked, jolting around. He still wasn’t used to physical affection so much as tickling. He made Keith and Shiro look like clingy, cuddle bugs with how much affection he gave. 

Adam had to demand affection from one husband, but he really had to demand it from the other; but both were blunt and didn’t quite understand the message. They tried their damndest to be gentle and light when it came to touches and places to attack. “Plehehehase dhahahaon’t,” the youngest squealed as he curled more into Shiro; who was hardly touching him anymore. 

“We’re trying to help out with your fear dear,’ adam teased softly into his ear. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” Curtis felt like the innocence he’d left behind at ten. A single digit, aged version of himself just falling victim to his parents’ and sister’s mercy.

Hyper ticklish skin making the best memories of his childhood, from when they were a family.… from when they were a real, loving family. As Adam started to stop, Curtis gently moved the other’s hand to his stomach, a small frown on his face. His eyes were sad but… he didn’t truly want it to stop. It used to be such a comforting and calming feeling, a joyful and playful one. 

It wasn’t until he started at the Garrison that he’d really had bonding experiences like this, and even then it was rare. But after marrying these two dorks, he found himself cuddled, hugged, tickled, kissed, and every soft action of affection that was out there almost on a daily basis. 

Adam spidered his fingers over the taught surface, teasing softly as Shiro moved to hold Curtis better. The hug was firm yet loose, comforting and soft. Curtis melted into it, giggling and screaming like a mad man as “spiders” continued to roam his surface in hopes of curing his phobia little at a time. 

Slowly but surely, the dou let him, laying to cuddle on the large mattress. Lips trailed up and down the youngest’s neck, earning soft giggles. Curtis brought his hands up to hold their heads softly as he squirmed about like a worm. Adam let out a snort before finally stealing a kiss on the lips, Shiro following in suit. “I’m sorry,” Curtis whimpered after the affection and loving high wore away. “Don’t be sorry,” Shiro reassured quickly. “We’re the ones that should be apologizing.” Curtis shook his head. 

“Just…. Not used to opening up so much.” His gray eyes widened before he let out a gasp, jumping into Adam. Shiro gave him a look, hand clawed to strike again. “Nhahaha! Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Adsm!” The last part of the cry of anticipation was a whine as Curtis rolled to hide in the tallest of the three. Adam held him close with a small smile and roll of his eyes. “Alright, alright. ‘Kashi, I think he needs a break.” 

Shiro smiled a bit before sandwiching Curtis between them. “As long as he doesn’t act like he thinks he’s a burden again, we’ll see.” Curtis could feel the smirk behind him. His stomach filled with butterflies and he felt almost weightless. However, he also felt his eyes growing heavy. Slowly, he calmed his breathing and nuzzled into the A cups before him. Paws rejoined the groups as fur babies fit in where they could, surrounding and covering the husbands on the bed. 

“Night,” Shiro said softly before kissing Curtis’s temple and Adam’s lips. Adam made the kiss last before pulling away with a small, secure, smile. 

So, even though Curtis let go of his blood family (with the exception of his grandmother and sister), he had the family he made for himself; the family he wore matching rings to, the family that was brought together through friendship, brotherhood, and even paws. He was so happy to be where he was now, even if it meant opening up to his family more.

[upontheshelfreviews]

Last year I talked about Fantasia, which is not just one of my favorite Disney movies, but one of my favorite movies in general. And if I may be self-indulgent for a moment, it’s also one of the reviews that I’m the proudest of. Fantasia is a visual, emotional masterpiece that marries music and art in a manner few cinematic ventures have come close to replicating. One question that remains is what my thoughts on the long-gestated sequel is –

…you might wanna get yourselves some snacks first.

As anyone who read my review on the previous film knows, Fantasia was a project ahead of its time. Critics and audiences turned their noses up at it for conflicting reasons, and the film didn’t even make it’s budget back until twenty-something years later when they began marketing it to a very different crowd.

“I don’t wanna alarm you dude, but I took in some Fantasia and these mushrooms started dancing, and then there were dinosaurs everywhere and then they all died, but then these demons were flying around my head and I was like WOOOOOAAAHHH!!”

“Yeah, Fantasia is one crazy movie, man.”

“Movie?”

Fantasia’s unfortunate box office failure put the kibosh on Walt Disney’s plans to make it a recurring series with new animated shorts made to play alongside handpicked favorites. The closest he came to following through on his vision was Make Mine Music and Melody Time, package features of shorts that drew from modern music more than classical pieces.

Fast-forward nearly fifty years later to the golden age known as the Disney Renaissance: Walt’s nephew Roy E. Disney surveys the new crop of animators, storytellers, and artists who are creating hit after hit and have brought the studio back to his uncle’s glory days, and thinks to himself, “Maybe now we can make Uncle Walt’s dream come true.” He made a good case for it, but not everyone was on board. Jeffrey Katzenberg loathed the idea, partly because he felt the original Fantasia was a tough act to follow (not an entirely unreasonable doubt) but most likely due to the fact that the last time Disney made a sequel, The Rescuers Down Under, it drastically underperformed (even though the reasons for that are entirely Katzenberg’s fault. Seriously, watch Waking Sleeping Beauty and tell me you don’t want to punch him in the nose when Mike Gabriel recalls his opening weekend phone call).

Once Katzenberg was out of the picture, though, Fantasia 2000, then saddled with the less dated but duller moniker Fantasia Continued, got the go-ahead. Many of the sequences were made simultaneously as the animated features my generation most fondly remembers, others were created to be standalone shorts before they were brought into the fold. Since it was ready in time for the new millennium, it not only got a name change but a massive marketing campaign around the fact that it would be played on IMAX screens for a limited run, the very first Disney feature to do so. As a young Fantasia fan who had never been to one of those enormous theaters before, I begged and pleaded my parents to take me. Late that January, we traveled over to the IMAX theater at Lincoln Center, the only one nearest to us since they weren’t so widespread as they are now, and what an experience it was. I can still recall the feeling of awe at the climax of Pines of Rome, whispering eagerly with my mom at how the beginning of Rhapsody in Blue looked like a giant Etch-A-Sketch, and jumping twenty feet in the air when the Firebird’s massive eyes popped open. But did later viewings recapture that magic, or did that first time merely color my perception?

We open on snippets from the original Fantasia…IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!

It reminds me a little of the opening to Simply Mad About The Mouse, where bits of classic Disney nostalgia fly about to evoke the mood of this upcoming musical venture. In a clever conceit, snippets of Deems Taylor’s original opening narration explaining Fantasia’s intent and music types plays over the orchestra and animators materializing and gearing up for the first sequence, which jumps right into –

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN – I mean, Symphony #5 – Ludwig Van Beethoven

Here, a bunch of butterflies flee and then fight off swarms of bats with the power of light – I can’t be the only one who saw these things and thought it was butterflies vs. bats, right?

It does look cool with its waterfalls and splashes of light and color bursting through the clouds, but this brings me to a bit of contention I have with the movie.

When I planned this review I was going to do a new version of “Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing”, except there were only four major complaints I could think of that. On further introspection, I admit they are legitimate grievances worth addressing. I’m going to get them out of the way all at once in order to keep things rolling.

#1 – This Seems Familiar…

Certain sequences are noticeably derivative from the first movie. It’s as if they were afraid of trying too many new things that would alienate audiences so they borrowed from their predecessor in an effort to say “Hey, we can do this too!” Symphony #5 is clearly trying to be Tocatta and Fugue with its abstract geometric shapes swooping all over to kick things off. Though I love how much character the animators managed to give two pairs of triangles, Tocatta’s soaring subconscious flights of fancy leaves me more enthralled. Carnival of the Animals literally began as a sequel to Dance of the Hours until the ostriches became flamingoes. And Roy E. Disney openly stated he wanted the last sequence, The Firebird Suite to have the same death and rebirth theme as Night on Bald Mountain/Ave Maria, which they got, right down to a terrifying symbol of destruction emerging from a mountain to wreak chaos.

‘Sup, witches?

#2 – Too Short

Speaking of repeating the past, the original idea for Fantasia 2000 was to follow Walt’s vision in that three favorite segments would make a return amongst the newer ones – the Nutcracker Suite, which was eventually cut for time, Dance of the Hours, which I’ve already stated morphed into Carnival of the Animals, and finally, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, the obvious choice to keep since that’s the most popular piece out of any of them. Cutting things for time doesn’t make that much sense, however, when you realize that Fantasia 2000’s runtime is only 75 minutes. A very short animated film by today’s standards that lasts barely half as long as its previous installment. I don’t see why they couldn’t keep at least one other sequence from the first Fantasia to make things last a little longer and keep in the original idea’s spirit.

#3 – All Story, No Experimentation

Unlike the first Fantasia, all of the sequences have a linear narrative structure that’s easy to follow. Not a bad thing and kudos to you if you’re among that group who prefers Fantasia 2000 for because of that, but again, I admire how the original film didn’t stick to a coherent story the whole time; how it was unafraid to let the music, atmosphere, and visuals speak for itself without sticking to a three-act plot and designated protagonist for every piece.

#4 – The One You’ve Been Waiting For, The Host Segments

One of the things that turned Fantasia off for its detractors was Deems Taylor’s seemingly dry narration. But maybe Fantasia 2000 can fix that with some folks who are hip and with it, perhaps a wild and crazy guy or two…

Eh, he’ll do.

Now, the idea of varying segment hosts isn’t an altogether bad idea. Most of them work well: Angela Lansbury gives the lead-in to the Firebird Suite plenty of gravitas befitting the finale, as do Ithzak Perlman, Quincy Jones, and James Earl Jones, who build plenty of intrigue for Pines of Rome, Rhapsody in Blue and Carnival of the Animals respectively; this seriousness makes James’ reaction to what the Carnival segment is really about a successful comic subversion. Even Penn and Teller for all their obnoxiousness kind of works with The Sorcerer’s Apprentice due to the linking magic theme.

I suppose what turns people off is the self-congratulatory tone and seemingly forced attempts at comedy you get from Martin, Penn, Teller, and Bette Midler. But you know what? They still make me laugh after all these years (well, you have to laugh at Bette Midler’s antics or she’ll come after you when the Black Flame Candle is lit). In fact, I have to hand it to Midler’s intro in particular. Fantasia 2000 came out right around the time I began taking a keen interest in what animation really was and how it was made. For me, her preceding The Steadfast Tin Soldier piece with tidbits about Fantasia segments that didn’t make it past the drawing board was like the first free hit that turned me into an animation junkie (plus this was before you could look up anything on the topic in extraneous detail on the internet, so it had that going for it). If I have to nitpick, though, The Divine Miss M referring to Salvador Dalí as “the melting watches guy” is a bit reductive. That’d be like calling Babe Ruth “the baseball guy” or Walt Disney “the mouse and castle guy”. Plus, Dalí and Disney were close compadres with a layered history. They planned on many collaborations, though the fruit of their labors, Destino, would not be completed in either of their lifetimes. Couldn’t show just a modicum of respect there, Bette?

Ahhh! I take it back! Don’t steal my soul!

So, I wouldn’t say I hate or even completely dislike the host segments. Sorry to disappoint everyone who was hoping for me to rip into them. They’re not awful, just uneven. And if you think they ruin the movie for me, you’ve got another think coming.

Pines of Rome – Ottorino Respighi

The idea for Pines of Rome’s visuals came about due to an unusual detail in some concept art. Someone noticed that a particular cloud in a painting of the night sky heavily resembled a flying whale. So why make a short about flying whales? The better question would be why NOT make a short about flying whales? A supernova in the night sky miraculously gives some whales the ability to swim through the air over the icy seas. Again, seeing this in IMAX was incredible. There’s just one minor issue I have with. This and another segment were developed well before Pixar made its silver screen debut, and unfortunately, it shows twenty years later; the worst cases are the close-ups.

Okay, who put googly eyes on the moldy beanbag?

There are ways of blending CGI and hand-drawn animation well, and this isn’t one of them. I understand the necessity of having expressive eyes but simply dropping one on top of a CGI creature gives it a bit of an uncanny valley feel. They should have either stuck with traditional all the way or made the whales entirely CG. The CG animation of the whales themselves isn’t too shabby, so they could have pulled it off.

Because simply giving whales flight apparently isn’t enough to hold an audience’s interest, we have an adorable baby whale earning his wings, so to speak. Once he gets his bearings above the surface, he swoops ahead of his family and bothers a flock of seagulls. They chase him into a collapsing iceberg, leaving him trapped, alone and unable to fly. The quiet dip in the music combined with the image of this lost little calf adds some genuine emotional weight to this piece. The baby navigates the iceberg’s claustrophobic caverns until he finds a crevice that elevates him back to his worried parents. From there a whole pod of whales rises out of the ocean to join them as they fly upwards to the supernova’s source.

“So long, and thanks for all the krill!”

As the music reaches its brilliant crescendo, the whales plow through storm clouds until they reach the top of the world and breach through the stars like water. It’s an awe-inspiring climax of a short that, flaws and all, reminds you of what Fantasia is all about.

Majestic.

Rhapsody in Blue – George Gershwin

The music of jazz composer George Gershwin? Timeless. The art of renowned caricaturist Al Hirschfeld? Perfection. All this brought to life with the best animation Disney has to offer? It’s a match made in heaven. Eric Goldberg, who animated the Genie among other comedic characters, idolized Hirschfeld and drew plenty of inspiration from drawings, so getting to work alongside him while making this was nothing short of a dream come true. That attention to detail in rendering Hirschfeld’s trademark curvy two-dimensional style goes beyond mere homage. It is a love letter to a great artist that encapsulates everything about him and his craft, and to a great city that we both had the honor of calling home. The story goes that Goldberg screened the final product for Hirschfeld shortly before his 96th birthday and his wife told him after that it was the best gift he could have ever received.

All this to say I am quite fond of this particular short, thank you very much.

The piece follows four characters navigating 1930’s Manhattan and crossing paths over the course of a single day:

Duke, a construction worker torn between his steady, monotonous job and following his dream of drumming in a jazz band,

Joe, a victim of the Great Depression desperately looking for work,

Rachel, a little girl who wants to spend time with her parents but is forced to attend lesson after lesson by her strict governess,

and “Flying” John, a henpecked husband longing to be free from his overbearing wife –

And her little dog too!

By the way, John is modeled in name and in looks after Disney animation historian John Culhane, who also was the inspiration for The Rescuers’ Mr. Snoops, hence why the two look so similar. He’s not the only name who appears in this sequence: Gershwin himself makes a surprise cameo as he takes over Rachel’s piano solo halfway through the story.

Speaking of, my family used to compare me to Rachel because at that point in my young life I was doing or already did the same mandatory activities as she – swimming, ballet, music, sports, all with the same amount of speed and varying degrees of success.

No one can argue that art is where we both excelled, however.

The physical timing of Rhapsody in Blue’s animation is hilarious, though it doesn’t rely wholly on slapstick for its humor. The sight gags and clever character dynamics all weaved into the music milk plenty of laughs, and envelop you in this living, breathing island that is Manhattan.

I speak from experience, this is the most accurate depiction of commuting on the 1 train that there ever was.

Even with such a premise and two masters of combining comedy and art, there is still enough pathos to keep the story rooted. Take when all four characters are at their lowest point. They look down on some skaters in Rockefeller Center and picture themselves in their place fulfilling their deepest desires. Seeing their dreams so close in their minds and yet so far away while paired with the most stirring part of the score is heartwrenching.

In the end, things pick up as the characters unwittingly solve each other’s problems. Duke quits the construction site, leaving an opening for Joe to fill. Joe accidentally snags John’s wife on a hook and hauls her screaming into the air, allowing him one night of uninhibited fun at the club where Duke performs.

“Anyone hear something? Nah, it’s probably just me.”

Rachel loses her ball while fighting with her nanny, which Duke bounces off the window of her parents’ office, which in turn gets them to notice their daughter about to run into traffic and they save her. Everyone gets their happy ending and it ends on a spectacularly glamorous shot of Time Square lit up in all its frenetic neon glory.

And not a single knockoff costumed character hitting up tourists for photos. Those were the days, my friend.

If you haven’t guessed by now, I adore Rhapsody in Blue. It’s easily my favorite part of the movie; a blissful ménage-a-trois of art style, music and storytelling, and it’s so New York that the only New York things I could think of that are missing are Central Park and amazing bagels. This sequence is gut-busting, energized, emotional, and mesmerizing in its form. I don’t often say I love a piece of animation so much that I’d marry it, but when I do, it’s often directed at Rhapsody in Blue.

  Piano Concerto #2 – Dmitri Shostakovich (aka The One With The Steadfast Tin Soldier)

This piece has an interesting history attached to it. Disney wanted to do an animated film surrounding Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tales – including The Little Mermaid and The Steadfast Tin Soldier – as far back as the 30’s, but the project fell by the wayside. During Fantasia 2000’s production, Roy E. Disney asked if they could do something with Shostakovich’s Piano Concerto #2 since he and his daughter were attached to that piece. He looked over sketches and storyboards made for the unrealized Tin Soldier sequence and discovered the music matched in perfect time with the story.

This is the second sequence that features CGI at the forefront. Unlike Pines of Rome, though, it works because the main characters are toys, and you can get away with your early CGI looking shiny and metallic and plastic-like when you’re animating toys.

Hell, it worked for Pixar.

The story centers on a tin soldier cast with only one leg who is shunned by his comrades for routinely throwing off their groove. He falls in love with a porcelain ballerina when he mistakes her standing en pointe as her also missing a limb. Despite his embarrassment when he learns the truth, the ballerina is enamored with him as well. This rouses the jealousy of an evil jack-in-the-box who I swear is a caricature of Jeffrey Katzenberg minus the glasses but with a goatee and Lord Farquaad wig.

“MUST. CHOP. EVERYTHING!!!”

The jack-in-the-box and the soldier duke it out for a bit before the former sends the latter flying out the window in a little wooden boat. The boat floats the soldier into the sewers and attracts a horde of angry rats who attack him, because animated rodents seem to have a natural hatred towards toy soldiers.

Case in point.

The soldier hurtles into the sea where he’s eaten by a fish – which is caught the following morning, packed up to be sold at market, bought by the cook who works at the very house he came from, and he falls out of the fish’s mouth on the floor where his owner finds him and places him back with the rest of the toys. Now the story this is based on hints that the jack-in-the-box is really a goblin who orchestrates the soldier’s misfortunes with his malicious magic. But based the extremely coincidental circumstances of his return home, I’d say the soldier’s the one who’s got some reality-warping tricks up his sleeve.

The soldier and jack-in-the-box duel again that evening, but this time the harlequin harasser falls into the fireplace and burns up. Our hero gets the girl and lives happily ever after. A nice conclusion, though a far cry from what happened in the original tale: the ballerina is knocked into the fire, the soldier jumps in after her, and all that remains of them by morning is some melted tin in the shape of a heart. I gotta say, for all my love of classic fairytales, Disney made the right call. Andersen’s life was far from magical and it reflected in his stories, making many of them depressing for no good reason. The triumphant note the music ends on also would have clashed horribly if they stuck with the original. Even the Queen of Denmark agreed with Disney’s decision to soften their adaptations of Andersen’s work. I don’t know if I’d call The Steadfast Tin Soldier one of my very favorite parts of Fantasia 2000, but in the end, s’all right.

  Carnival of the Animals: Finale – Camille Sant-Saëns

This shortest of shorts (clocking in at less than two minutes) kicks off with James Earl Jones asking with as much seriousness as he can muster from the situation, what would happen if you gave a yo-yo to a flock of flamingos?

The answer –

Good answer!

Fie on those who dismiss this part as a silly one-off that doesn’t belong here. Fie, I say! It’s a pure delight full of fun expressions and fluid fast-paced action. Once again we have my man Eric Goldberg to thank for this, though this time he animated it entirely by himself. I’d call it a one-man show except for the fact that his wife Susan handpainted the entire thing with watercolor, making it look like it sprung to life straight from a paintbrush. It’s a simple diversion about a flamingo who wants to play with his yo-yo while the other snooty members of his flock try to force him to conform. As you can see from the still, they fail quite epically. Nothing beats the power of nonconformity and yo-yos (also every yo-yo move featured here is authentic; I love when animators go that extra mile).

  The Sorcerer’s Apprentice plays next, but since I already touched on that in the first Fantasia review, I’m skipping over it. The segment ends with Mickey congratulating Leopold Stokowski (again), then crossing the barriers of time and space to inform the conductor, James Levine, that he needs to track down the star of the next segment, Donald Duck. Levine stalls by explaining a bit about what’s to come while Mickey frantically searches for his errant costar. The surround sound sells the notion of him moving around the back of the theater accidentally causing mischief all the while. Thankfully, Donald is found and the sequence commences.

Pomp and Circumstance – Edward Elgar

This famous piece of music was included at the insistence of Michael Eisner after he attended his son’s graduation ceremony. He wanted to feature a song that everyone was already familiar with. Of course, since this was after Frank Well’s untimely passing and no one was bold enough to temper Eisner’s worst instincts with common sense, his original pitch had every animated couple Disney created up to that point marching on to Noah’s Ark – and then marching out with their babies.

Okay, A: Unless you’re doing a groin hit joke or are Ralph Bakshi or R. Crum, cartoon characters don’t have junk as a rule. And B, one of the unwritten rules of Disney animation is that barring kids that already exist like the titular 101 Dalmatians or Duchess’ kittens, the established canon couples do not in any official capacity have children.

To which Eisner laughed maniacally and vowed that they would.

But in order to placate Eisner’s desire to turn every branch of the Disney corporation into a commercial for itself, the animators compromised and agreed to do Pomp and Circumstance with the Noah’s Ark theme, BUT with only one couple – Donald and Daisy Duck. In this retelling of the biblical tale, Donald acts as Noah’s beleaguered assistant (I guess Shem, Ham, and Japheth were too busy rounding up the endangered species). Daisy provides emotional support while preparing to move on to the ark as well. It’s refreshing to see these two not losing their temper at each other for a change. I wish we got to see this side of their relationship more often. Donald returns Daisy’s easily lost plot device locket to her and as the rain rain rain comes down down down, he starts directing the animals on board; the lions, the tigers, the bears, the…ducks?

Anyway, all the animals and Donald get on board – well, most of them do.

The world’s first climate change deniers.

Donald realizes Daisy hasn’t arrived yet and runs out to look for her, unaware that she’s already boarded. Daisy sees Donald leaving but is too late to stop him before the first floodwaters hit their home. Donald made it back to the ark in time, however, though both of them believe that the other is forever lost to them. I find it astounding that they never run into each other not even once during the forty days and forty nights they’re cooped up on that boat. It’s the American Tail cliche all over again, and well, at least it’s happening in a short and not the entire movie.

Soon the ark lands atop Mount Ararat and the animals depart in greater numbers than when they embarked on their singles cruise. Daisy realizes halfway down the mountain that she’s lost her locket again, which Donald finds at that very moment while sweeping up, and the two are joyously reunited.

“I thought you were dead!” “I thought YOU were dead!”

I kid around, but I truly enjoy this short a lot. There’s so much warmth to Donald and Daisy’s relationship that makes their reunion at the end all the sweeter, and there’s plenty of great slapstick to offset the drama in the meantime. I will admit it’s nice to hear there’s more to Pomp And Circumstance than just the famous march, and the entire suite matches flawlessly with the visuals, though the main theme itself is so ingrained into the public consciousness that it’s difficult to extricate it from that what we’ve seen accompany it countless times.

Come on, you all know what I’m talking about.

“What? Don’t tell me YOU don’t think of heads exploding like fireworks when you hear Pomp and Circumstance! Name one other life-changing moment could you possibly associate it with…you weirdo.”

The Firebird Suite – Igor Stravinsky

Fantasia 2000 comes to a close with a piece that has some emotional resonance if you know your history. You might remember from my first Fantasia review that Igor Stravinsky was disappointed with how Rite of Spring turned out, especially since he was a big admirer of Walt Disney and really wanted to do more projects with him beforehand. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that they picked his premiere ballet to end the movie on decades later. After all these years, Disney worked hard to do right by Stravinsky – with a few twists, though. Instead of a balletic retelling of Russian folktales involving kidnapped princesses and immortal sorcerers, we have a fantastical allegory for the circle of life.

No, not that circle of life.

A lone elk who I’m fairly convinced is the Great Prince of the Forest walks through the forest in the dead of winter. With his breath, he awakens the spirit of the woods and one of the most beautiful characters Disney has ever created, the Spring Sprite.

I. Love. This character. Her design is gorgeous, shifting from a shimmery opalescent blue as she steps out of the water into an eternally flowing fount of live greenery spreading from her hair in her wake. Wherever she moves, grass, flowers, and trees blossom, fulfilling the idea of a springtime goddess more than Disney’s own Goddess of Spring ever did. The Sprite was a massive influence in developing my art style, particularly in her face and expressive eyes, and I used to draw her a lot. Visit any relative of mine and chances are you’ll find a picture of her by me hanging up on a wall somewhere in their house. Yet there’s far more to her character than just a pretty representation of nature; there’s plenty of curiosity, spunk, determination, and a drive for creativity. I love her frustrated expression when she’s dissatisfied with the tiny flower she sculpts out of the ground and how her face lights up when she morphs it into a buttercup as tall as she is.

The Sprite paints the forest with all the colors of the wind (mostly green) until she reaches a mountain that isn’t affected by her magic. Perplexed, she climbs it until she finds a large hunched over rock figure – or is it an egg? – standing inside. She reaches out to touch it and…

The Sprite has awakened her counterpart, the wrathful and deadly Firebird. Think giant evil phoenix made of smoke, flame and lava. And it goes without saying that seeing this on the biggest screen left quite the terrifying impact. One of the biggest inspirations for this sequence was the eruption of Mount St. Helens (though the shot of the Sprite surveying the breadth of the Firebird’s destruction reminds me far too much of the Australian bushfires going on) and the sheer horror of nature’s irrepressible chaos is fully captured here. But the Firebird refuses to settle for merely destroying the Sprite’s handiwork, oh no. It won’t rest until creation itself is consumed, and the Sprite is reduced to a powerless mite as she scrabbles to escape the Firebird’s relentless pursuit of her. Try as she might, however, the towering monster corners and devours her in one fell swoop.

The forest is reduced to gray ashes in the wake of the Firebird’s rampage, but the Great Prince has survived. Once again he brings the Sprite to life with his breath, only this time she is tiny and weak (the animation of her slowly developing from the ash into her huddled ragged form is breathtaking). Now, I didn’t think I’d get emotional revisiting a small part of a single movie I’ve rewatched countless times before but viewing this through a mature eye combined with the beauty of the Firebird Suite’s climax and its timely message has caused me to see it in a new light:

The Sprite is utterly broken by what she’s been through and the destruction she carelessly caused. She’s lost all faith in herself and in the idea of returning the forest to what it once was. Even so, the Prince gently insists on carrying her on his antlers to the remains of their favorite cherry blossom tree. Where her tears fall, grass shoots begin to sprout. This fills the Sprite with hope, and she soars into the air becoming one with the sky and rains life down on the forest. New trees burst from the earth. The air is filled with leaves and pollen and new life flowing from her essence. The Sprite’s joy and power grow so strong that she even encircles the Firebird’s mountain in all her verdant glory. Life and creation overcome death and destruction. It’s not Night on Bald Mountain/Ave Maria, but it’s close.

And unfortunately, that’s the biggest problem Fantasia 2000 has.

While working on the original Fantasia, a storyman made the mistake of referring to the work they were doing in “the cartoon medium” in Walt’s presence. Walt turned on him and snapped “This is NOT ‘the cartoon medium’. It should not be limited to cartoons. We have worlds to conquer.”

And conquer they did…just not the way Walt intended.

The point I’m trying to make is Walt was breaking new ground and experimenting with things nobody ever tried when it came to Fantasia. While those risks were initially deemed a failure, it eventually gained the recognition it deserved from the animation and filmmaking community. Any attempt to recreate the magic of Fantasia is no small feat. But rather than taking new risks that not even the first film dared, the studio opted to adhere to Fantasia’s formula with pieces that recall if not flat out copy from the original segments. I hesitate to call it a pale imitation or cash grab however because this was done for the art much more than the money (though Eisner was probably hoping it would bring in some bank). There’s even a little bit of depth to it: while the first Fantasia had themes of differing natures in conflict – light vs. dark, fire vs. water, etc. – Fantasia 2000’s theme is accidental but brilliantly meta: CGI vs. traditional animation, a conflict Disney would become very familiar with in the decade following the film’s release. In some ways, it reminds me of Epcot’s genesis. The driving force behind it was long gone, but the attempt to bring it to life as close to the original vision as possible is still much appreciated.

For all my gripes, I really do enjoy Fantasia 2000. Perhaps not on the same level as its predecessor, but it has its moments, oh yes. And believe me, as far as Disney sequels go, you could do far, far, far worse than this one. Fantasia 2000 is Fantasia’s kid sister mimicking its beloved older sibling in an attempt to show it can be cool like the big kids too. But hey, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this review, please consider supporting this misfit on Patreon. Patreon supporters receive great perks such as extra votes for movie reviews, movie requests, early sneak-peeks and more! If I can hit my goal of $100 a month, I can go back to weekly tv series reviews. As of now, I’m only $20 away! Special thanks to Amelia Jones, Gordhan Rajani and Sam Minden for their contributions! I’ll see you in a few weeks when I and review the 1959 Disney animated classic, Sleeping Beauty!

Artwork by Charles Moss.

Screencaps from animationscreencaps.com

Yes, I know The Lion King and Lady and the Tramp ended with the titular characters having babies, but was there anyone out there apart from Eisner who demanded there be sequels to those films that focused on their offspring?

January Review: Fantasia 2000 Last year I talked about Fantasia, which is not just one of my favorite Disney movies, but one of my favorite movies in general.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #345

“this is the year where hope fails you  /  the test subjects run the experiment  /  and the bastards you know, is the hero you hate”

Do you have any scars from burns? No. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. Growing up, Dad would always help my sisters and I make them. Good memories. How about a sand castle? Yeah, but not any impressive ones at all. Just the ones where you fill a pail with sand and flip it over. Have you ever used crutches? Tried when I tore a ligament in my foot, but the pair we had were too tall for me to use them comfortably at all, so I never really "used" them. Have you ever been in a tree house? No. Would you ever move to China? No. Did you ever go to daycare as a kid? I went to one for literally a day because Mom was disgusted with how I was treated. I accidentally wandered into the wrong room or something and one of the guardians slapped my hand when she scolded me, and I think I sobbed the rest of the day, but partially because I had AWFUL separation anxiety from my mom. Afterwards, Mom just had people she knew babysit my sisters and me. Who’s one of the most talented people you know? What are they talented at? As for people who are still in my life/I still consider to "know," I'm unsure, but only because there are so many talented people in my life. One of my older sisters is a fantastic cake decorator and artist in general, and my little sister is truly skilled with working with children; she's a kid magnet. Sara is really good at animation, and I wish she'd do it more! Do you usually pay with cash, debit card, or credit card? Cash. I don't have a credit or debit card. Are you the type of person who can make friends with just about anyone? Yeah, but I have my limits. I'm very open-minded and can befriend people with a wide range of beliefs and personalities, but I know where to draw the line. There comes a point where giving your friendship to someone is like passively supporting their ways, and I don't want to do that if those are overwhelmingly negative and/or hateful. Have you ever experienced a medical emergency? Well yeah, I overdosed on cold medicine. I was surprisingly okay, but I assume it's because I was taken to the hospital fast enough for fluids? Idk. What was the last thing you borrowed from someone? Ummm no clue. Are you muscular? Uh, no. When you go to a restaurant, do you prefer to sit at a booth or a table? Booth. What’s something you think everyone should do/experience at least once in their life? Love. Has your car ever been broken into? I don't have a car, but neither of my parents' has been. Have you ever recorded yourself doing a cover of a song? No. Do you watch television shows more in the dark or the day time? I just don't watch TV. Are there any movies out there that basically make you want to puke? None that I've seen, no. But I won't watch The Human Centipede for this exact reason, as I KNOW it would make me hurl. Any secrets you’d never tell anyone? No matter how close they are to you? Yes. Do you consider yourself a promiscuous person? Not even slightly. Do you know anyone who has AIDS? What about yourself? I don't know anyone with it, no, and I don't have it either. Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? No. What’s your favorite hair color on the opposite sex that you love? I like colored hair, but if we're talking natural colors, then black. Have you ever had a child before? If so, what’s his/her name? Nope, never gonna have one. Which baby animal is your favorite? Meerkats for sure. I also love kittens. Do you like jam on your toast and biscuits? Yeah. Are there any plants in your home? No. What food does honey go best with? *shrug* Have you ever carved a pumpkin? Yeah. Have you ever reread a book? I read Because of Winn-Dixie twice, and I've read Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari countless times, although after the first read, I skipped over Clutton-Brock's massive tangents that had nothing to do with meerkats. They really took away from the book, imo. Would you ever like to own a chandelier? Sure, like above the dinner table. It's not a big deal for me, though. What scent is the last body wash you used? Oh my god, it's this cinnamon bun scent that I got for I think my b-day, and I LOVE it. It's going to suck when it's gone. Do you have any religious symbols in your home? Probably somewhere, I just don't pay attention. What religion do you identify with, if any? None. Do you enjoy flavored coffee? If so, which flavor is your favorite? I don't like coffee at all. Do you know someone who has asthma? Yeah, my mom. What is the most controversial thing you’ve done? Come out as bi, I guess. Other than interviews, do you ever “dress to impress?" No. Are you currently listening to music? Yeah: "The Man Who Made a Monster" by Dance With the Dead. When was the last time you got really nervous? I should NOT be blanking on this, but I sure am. I don't think I've been REALLY nervous in a while, but certainly nervous like... always. What was the first thing you ate today? I had a bagel. Have you ever had one of those elementary-school boy/girlfriends? No; I didn't have my first boyfriend 'til the 7th grade. Name something random in your car: I don't have my own car. What do you want to tell someone who has died (and who is it, if anything)? I wish I could tell Steve Irwin thank you and that he truly did change the world. I think a lot about just how unspeakably proud he would be of his children and how madly in love he'd be with Bindi's newborn. That family is the definition of wholesome, and I desperately wish Steve was still around. Have you ever stolen from a friend or family member? Wow, no. Would/did you cheat on someone for revenge? Or if they wouldn’t find out? No, that's incredibly childish. If you got pregnant right now, would you keep the baby? The only way I could get pregnant right now was if I was, God fucking forbid, raped. I don't think I'd be able to keep it; it would scar me for life, but at the same time, even though I'm pro-choice, I don't know if I could go through with an abortion without feeling like shit and forever thinking "well you could've just given it up for adoption." I don't like thinking about this topic. Any history with eating disorders (or tendencies)? No, thankfully. I've had bulimic thoughts before, but I've never acted on them. Does your family have a secret? No. If single, would you knowingly be who someone cheats on someone else with? Nooope. Guilt would eat me alive. Have you ever contemplated physically hurting yourself or another? I have hurt myself, but never other people. Choose one living person you’d like to meet. I won't have lived a full life w/o meeting Mark at least once laksdj;flakwjer. Who is someone you know would take a bullet for you? My mom would without a millisecond's hesitation. I'm sure Dad would, too. The next time you are on an airplane, where will you be traveling to? Most likely Illinois to visit Sara again. Where is your dad from? Ohio. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? My older sister's. What is something that makes you very squeamish? Vomit is #1. Do you even use an alarm clock, or do you just use your phone? I use my phone. Have you ever moved to a different state? No. Lived in NC my whole life. Can you do long division in your head? I can't do math in my head period. Do you have a wide imagination? Oh yes. Would you mind living on a farm? I wouldn't want to. Farms take way too much maintenance. Do you enjoy watching horror films? Oh yeah. Have you ever been to Niagara Falls? No, but I'd love to. Who are you in love with? Nobody. When is the last time you took a picture? I took a picture of Venus like a week ago when I had her out of her terrarium and she was just coiled between my arm and the laptop, totally chillin' out. I was IN a picture just a couple days ago, because my eldest sister came over to visit with her husband. It was great. Do you wash your own car or make the car wash do it? I don't have a car. Are you a fan of parties? Not big ones, no. I'd enjoy chilling out with a few people I'm friends with/know, just chatting and hanging out. Next trip you’re going to take? I don't know. My sister Misty's wedding is coming up soon, but we doubt we'll be able to go because of 1.) Mom's car would never make the drive, and 2.) Covid, and Mom's immunocompromised. It sucks, but she's being understanding about it. Were you in honor roll in school? Yeah. If you could know one thing about the future, what would it be? If I'll ever be happy with my life. What’s your favorite lunch meat? Ham. Do you drink your soda from a straw? I don't like to, no, because I drink faster via a straw, and I like to drag my soda out throughout the day so I don't go through more than I should. Do you like hot sauce? Yesssssss. Do you like Ellen Degeneres? Sure, she seems like a great person. Who do you think is the cutest celebrity? UMMMMMM like have you ever seen Mark Fischbach laugh?????? Did you ever play softball? For quite a long time as a kid, yeah. Would you like to live to be 110 years old? No, that sounds like torture. I don't want to live to where I'm essentially a walking (if even) corpse. No energy, no strength... no thanks. Do you like getting your picture taken? NO. Ever seen a tornado? Thank fuck no. When you were little, did you do gymnastics? No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? I know a number of people who are. Two are due very soon. Do you like being the X or the O when you play tic-tac-toe? I like being the X. Have you ever tried crowd surfing? No. Do you like the movie Bambi? If so, who is your favorite on there? I've actually somehow never seen it, though I would like to. Do you like onion rings? No. Are you more afraid of going to the doctor or dentist? I'm not really afraid of either, but I dislike going to the doctor more. Have you ever been to an animal shelter? Yeah. Have you ever bought yourself or someone else lingerie? No. Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? Nothing more than needing glasses. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Not really, besides the obvious age gap stuff. I was allowed to follow my heart with who I was interested in, really. Have you ever lived with a person who you tried to avoid at all costs? There were times like this with Dad when my parents were still together and he was in a bad mood, especially if he was drinking. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. What is your worst childhood memory? There was this very weird three day period where I could've sworn up and down I was constantly on the verge of puking. On the third night, Mom finally took me to the hospital, but they couldn't find anything wrong. Oddly enough, I felt better the next morning... The whole situation was fucking awful for someone who was and still is terrified of vomiting. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I don't have my license. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your favourite game show to watch? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. When’s the last time had to cover a coworker’s shift? Never. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? "Petrichor." How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? LOTS of songs. Where is your favourite place to get fries? Bojangle's. Their seasoning is *chef's kiss* Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you get out of bed on the left side or right side? Left. Do you fall asleep with your mouth open or closed? It embarrasses me for some reason, but usually open, because I have a hard time breathing through my nose when I lie down for some reason? I don't take allergy medicine though when I'm really supposed to, so that might explain it... Is there a book you keep telling yourself you’ll read but still haven’t? I have Margaret Atwood's The Testaments that I want to read, but Wings of Fire has taken precedent, so I really don't know if I'll get to it. It would also be nice to catch up with Erin Hunter's Warriors, but that I know I won't do. Did your family ever own a vacation home? No. Have you ever opened a wine bottle? Nope. Have you been inside of a police station? No. What would you never change about yourself? I mean, there's a number of things. I would never allow myself to lose my empathy and compassion for others, for one. I'll never grow a head too big for my body. Do you pretty much need a car to get around where you live? Yeah. Public transport isn't a big thing here, especially outside the cities, and living in the South, places are pretty spread out/not within reasonable walking distance. Have you been to Australia? No, and I'm honestly too scared to go, even though I think it would be extremely cool. All the venomous animals just frighten me, and I find huntsman spiders to be TERRIFYING, regardless of how harmless they are. Do you mind drinking room-temperature water? UGH, I absolutely do mind. I HAVE to drink cold water. If it's even slightly on the warm side, it makes me want to gag.