#my recipient had such a lovely list of likes and i got to just go to town!!!!

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

There’s No Such Thing As Purity

(Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader)

Summary: You and Rafe are childhood best friends and as far as he’s concerned you’re an innocent angel he needs to protect from the world. But he discovers a whole other side of you when you accidentally send him nudes that were meant for someone else. Wk: 4.9k

Warnings: Drinking/smoking weed, jealous!Rafe, posessive!Rafe, minor Jj x reader, brat taming, choking, spanking, spit kink, tiddy slapping, hair pulling, face fucking, fingering, orgasm denial, daddy kink, unprotected sex.18+MDNI!!!

A/N: this is only my second Rafe fic so pls be niiicee to me. But I love this man. I need him to own me and put me in my place. Thank you to my sweet angel @babygorewhore for listening to me rant about this, and for beta reading for me. Ilysm. Also this is based off the song “Purity” by Lilyisthatyou.

You’re not necessarily faded, but you’ve had a couple drinks and you smoked a blunt with a few of your friends when you first got here so you’re feeling a little buzzed. You check your phone and to your delight your sneaky link that you asked to meet you here had responded that he would be on his way soon. You smirk down at the screen, excusing yourself to the bathroom so you could respond to him how you really wanted to.

You close the bathroom door and pull your little crop top over your head, leaving you in just your low waisted mini skirt that you push down even further so your thong straps are on display. You stand in front of the large full length mirror on the bathroom wall, holding your phone camera up while you pose. You take a few shots, then a few more, until you're satisfied that at least a couple of them will be good enough to send. You spend a few minutes going through them before deciding on two.

One is straight on, your tits fully on display, your free hand pulling one of your thong straps up even further, and your tongue is sticking out. The second is from the side, showing the curve of your back and the top of your ass sticking out of your skirt, two fingers between your lips. You smirk, satisfied with your work. You select the two photos before typing out the text to accompany them.

“When are you getting here?😉”

In your somewhat hazy, horny state you click the most recent contact on your list and hit send. You didn’t think anything of it, since as far as you know he’s the last person that texted you. But what you failed to realize is during your little photoshoot your best friend had texted you, and you sent them to him instead. Seconds later your phone starts to ring, Rafe’s contact and a goofy photo of the two of you popping up on the screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” You answer cheerfully.

“What's up? What’s up with you? What’s up with those photos?” Rafe sounds pissed, which isn’t unlike him, but it’s very rarely directed at you.

“Photos? What’re you-?” It takes your slightly inebriated mind a second to catch up but when it does you gasp, pulling the phone away from your ear to pull up your texts. Your entire body warms and your heart feels like it’s going to fall out of your ass when you realize you sent him the photos, and not the intended recipient. “Oh god… fuck. Rafe listen, can we not make this a thing? Those weren’t for you, just delete them so we can forget this ever happened.”

“Who were they for then, huh? Also where the hell are you? I thought you were staying home tonight.” This was not good. You and Rafe have been best friends since you were kids, and he’s always been extremely protective of you, some may say overprotective. So things like guys and hookups? You keep them to yourself when it comes to him.

“Uh - I don’t see why that really matters? Can you just fucking delete them? Also I was going to stay home but then the girls convinced me to come with them to this party. You’re busy tonight anyways? I don’t know why it’s a big deal.” You huff in annoyance.

“It fucking matters because what if something happened to you? Since when do you go to parties without me anyways? You could’ve at least told me you decided to go out. Also you’re sending guys nudes now? Since when? Who is this fucker?”

“Rafe!!! You need to calm down. Seriously, we don’t have to make this a thing, okay? Just fucking delete them and go back to doing whatever it is you were doing. Please.” Your voice comes out more whiny than you mean it to, but you know he’s a sucker for your pouting so you're hoping it will calm him down a bit.

“No, seriously, answer my fucking questions.” He sneers your name into the phone and it sends chills down your spine. He’s been irritated with you before, of course. But never talked to you like this and you have to admit that it’s doing something to you. You’ve always wanted him, but he’s always seen you as this precious angel he needs to protect, innocent. When truly? You’re anything but. You go to parties without him when he’s busy all the time, and as far as your innocence? That was long gone.

“Oh my god. I already told you, I’m at a fucking party, okay? I’m here with my friends. You’re acting like I’ve never gone to a party without you or like I’m a child that needs to be watched and you’re honestly being really dramatic.” Rafe is taken back by your tone. You’re normally so soft and cheerful with him. But right now? You were acting like a fucking brat.

“At a party, where? And you still didn’t answer my other question. Who. Were. The. Pictures. For?” You can tell he’s pacing the room and running his fingers through his hair with his nostrils flared. The image makes your thighs clench. You’ve always fantasized about Rafe putting you in your place, he treats you like a princess, lets you do whatever you want. Granted you’re usually very sweet to him, but tonight? You’re wondering how far you can push him before he finally snaps. “You know you share your location with me, right? I can just fucking look myself if you don’t wanna tell me.”

“Jesus Christ, Rafe! It’s at Matt’s house! Are you happy? I’m still on figure 8, literally a few blocks from my house!! And as far as who the pictures were for? Just a guy, okay? I don’t know why the specifics matter. It’s almost like you’re jealous or something.” You tried to hold it in, you really did, but you’ve been holding back from saying that for years. It was like he didn’t want any guys near you, but he never did anything about it himself and you were over it.

“What if I am?” He practically growls into the phone and that wasn’t the response you were expecting. You had never brought up his possessiveness until now, but other people had and he always said something along the lines of ‘I’m not fuckin’ jealous, it’s just no man is good enough for my best friend’ and it always made your heart deflate, just a bit.

“Are you?”

“Just fucking stay there, alright? I’m coming to get you.” He doesn’t wait for you to respond, the line going dead. Your text notification goes off, the guy who you meant to send the photos to letting you know he arrived at the party. Suddenly you feel shockingly sober.

You take a deep breath to collect your thoughts. You have two options here. Option one, hide in the bathroom until Rafe gets here and then leave with him, totally avoiding any further drama for the night. Or, option two, you could go out there, and when Rafe gets here, you could see if he really is jealous… Fuck it. You pull your shirt over your head, look in the mirror to check your hair, and exit the bathroom.

You weave through the sweaty bodies in the living room and head out back to where your date said he would be waiting for you. Your eye’s scan the patio, searching for those blonde locks. Your eye’s meet smug blue ones, a cocky smirk on his lips. Yeah, Rafe was absolutely going to lose his shit when he found out those photos were meant for none other than Jj Maybank. Probably one of the last people on earth he would want you fucking around with. But you ran into him at a party a few weeks ago, hooked up with him in a random bedroom, and you’re not ashamed to say you’ve gone back for seconds. And thirds. And forths too. It’s not your fault it was the best dick you’ve ever had in your life.

“Hey princess, how’s a goin’?” He approaches you, his eyes unabashedly roaming your curves in your little party outfit. He brings his thumb to your bottom lip, running across it before leaning in close so his lips brush your ear. “You look good enough to eat.”

“Yeah? Maybe you’ll get to try a bite later.” You lean back so you can look up into his eyes, biting your lip. For a second you almost forget all about the Rafe dibocle, getting lost in Jj’s now familiar, fresh, but still somehow musky scent and those eyes that remind you of the ocean water that surrounds your home. But you couldn’t forget about Rafe for long. Your feelings for Jj are so incredibly surface level compared to the feelings you have for him. “You wanna get a drink? And dance?”

“Sure thing, pretty girl.” He winks at you, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

After you take a shot together you drag him out onto the makeshift dance floor Matt set up on his parents back patio. You start to sway your hips to the music that booms from the large speakers that were set up around the area and Jj hungrily eyes your curves. He pulls a joint from behind his ear, raising it between the two of you with his eyebrow cocked and you nod in response.

You continue to sway, turning your back towards Jj so you can rub your ass against him. He pops the joint in his mouth, turning his head to the side so he can use one hand to light it, his other hand coming down to grab onto your hip. His fingertips graze the skin above your skirt and it gives you goosebumps. After he takes a few puffs off the joint he holds it to your mouth, his skin grazing your soft lips. You turn your head over your shoulder to blow the smoke in his mouth and he takes the hint immediately connecting his lips with yours. But before you can even fully shotgun the hit to him your entire body is suddenly ripped away from his, a large hand pulling you by your forearm.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE FUCKIN’ DOING?” Rafe’s voice bellows over the music as he pulls you towards him, causing you to trip and fall into his chest.

“Rafe, I’m just having fun, you need to chill. Seriously.” You push against him but he uses the hold he still has on your arm to pull you closer. His free hand comes up to your jaw, gripping it roughly, forcing you to look up at him.

“I need to chill? Are you fuckin’ joking? Is this who those pictures were for? This dirty fuckin’ pouge? Are you fucking him?” His eyes hold a fire that’s never been directed towards you, and logically you should be pissed, you should slap him across the face for acting like this. But instead you feel your panties get even wetter under his angry gaze, the feeling of his hand on your jaw making your knees weak.

“Hey bro, you need to back the fuck off! She told you to chill, get off her!” Jj tries to grab onto your free hand but Rafe doesn’t allow it, he grips onto your hips, using his hold on you to push you to the other side of him, away from Jj.

“You’re the one that needs to fuck off bro.” Rafe gets in his face, his nostrils flared, his eyes filled with rage. “Keep your dirty fuckin hands off my girl, fuckin’ pouge trash.”

“Your girl, huh? She didn’t seem like she was your girl when she was beggin’ me to let her cum last weekend.” Jj smirks, his eyes boring right back into the taller man’s. Rafe growls, using all his force to push him so hard he falls to the ground.

“Yeah bitch, my fucking girl. Stay the fuck away from her or I’ll beat your ass so bad they won’t be able to identify you when you get to the fucking hospital.” He spits on the ground in front of the blonde’s feet before turning back to you with his jaw and fists clenched. “Bathroom. Now.”

You stare up at him with wide eyes, speechless. My girl. My girl. My girl. Replaying like a mantra in your head. After a few seconds of you standing there like a deer caught in the headlights, Rafe lost his patience. He swiftly closed the few foot gap between you, his large ringed hand gripping the back of your neck. He bends down so his face is level with yours, blue eyes filled with fire staring down at you.

“I said. Bathroom. Now. Start fucking walking.” He practically growls when he says it and you have to hold in a whimper. The hand on your neck glides down to your shoulder, turning you away from him without giving you a chance to respond. You have half a mind to talk back to him. But he seems like he’s two seconds away from turning around and taking his anger out on Jj and you’ve definitely done enough damage in that department for the night, so you start walking.

“Take me to the bathroom you took those little pictures in.” You squeal when halfway down the hall Rafe grabs onto your hair from behind you, pulling your head back against his chest. He’s looking down at you hungrily, his tongue running across his bottom lip. “I wanna take some pictures of my own.”

As soon as the bathroom door is shut he’s on you, shoving you up against it by your throat, his lips smashing against yours in a bruising kiss. He slips his tongue into your mouth using it to dominate your own. Just when you feel yourself start to get lost in it he pulls away, a pout forming in your lips.

“Seriously, what the hell has gotten into, Bunny? Where’s my sweet little innocent best friend? Cause this girl I’ve seen tonight, she’s certainly not her.” He looms over you, the look in his eyes is wild, he looks like he wants to devour you and god you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t let him do just about anything to you right now.

“Maybe there’s a side of me you don’t know about, ever thought of that?” The smirk that spreads across your lips is seductive, the look in your eyes mischievous. “You do know I have a life outside of you, right?”

“No fucking shit, I know that. But this is not something I’d expect out of you. Going to parties dressed like that, smoking weed, grinding on pouges.” He snarls at the last part, the hand around your throat tightening slightly. He pushes your legs apart with his foot and shoves his knee between your thighs, pressing it up against your wet clothed core. You try to hold in the moan that escapes you but your body betrays you. “I’m only going to ask you this one more time, was he bullshitting me out there or did you fuck him?”

“Yeah I fucked him, more than once.” That Cheshire smirk reappears on your lips and he wants nothing more than to wipe it off. He releases your throat to grip your jaw, pinching your cheeks together.

“You lost your virginity to a fuckin’ pouge? You let him inside of you? When I’m the only one who's supposed to touch you? Bet he didn’t even make you cum.” He shakes your head from side to side, grinding his knee up into your cunt. You really don’t want to give into him just yet, but you’re losing your resolve quicker with every passing minute.

“HA! My virginity? I hate to break it to you Rafey, but that ship sailed back in highschool. And as far as him making me cum? Say what you want about the pouges but that’s the best dick I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah? Not for fuckin’ long.” He walks over to stand in front of the mirror you had your impromptu photoshoot in. He turns to the side, looking you dead in the eyes as snaps his fingers, his long pointer finger directed towards the ground.

“Are you serious?” You scoff, crossing your arms in defiance. “I’m not sucking you off.”

You absolutely were going to suck him off, but he didn’t need to know that, yet. You were having fun toying with him and getting him worked up.

“Really? Cause I think you want to. I think you did all of this on fuckin purpose to get me going. Come over here and get on your fucking knees for me, bunny. I know you want it.” He smirks, his hands reaching for the button on his shorts. He pulls his cock out and your eyes grow wide, your mouth dropping open. You can’t even hide the look of awe on your face at the sight of his thick cock. It’s almost subconscious the way your feet carry you forward towards him. You approach him, looking up at him through your lashes. His hands grip your shoulders, pushing you down to your knees in front of him. “Take that fucking shirt off.”

You rip your shirt over your head and as soon as it’s off he leans down to grab onto your tits, squeezing them roughly.

“Perfect fuckin’ tits, and they’re all mine huh?” He pulls back and abruptly his large hands smack down on both your tits causing you to let out a yelp. “Say it, say they’re mine.” Two more smacks come in succession.

“They’re yours Rafe, always been yours.” You look at him with big wide eyes and your lips set into a pout. You almost look like his innocent best friend again, but he knows better now.

“Open your fucking mouth, slut. Stick your tongue out.” He takes his cock in his hand, stroking it.

As soon as your tongue leaves your mouth Rafe is smacking the tip of his cock against it. Salty precum hits your tongue and you moan at the taste. His free hand gathers your hair into a makeshift ponytail, wrenching your head back so you’re looking at him.

“You done being a fuckin’ brat now? Gonna let me show you who you really belong to?”

“Uh-huh, yeah.” You nod to the best of your ability, all resolve you had left leaving your body. You’re already starting to feel fucked out and he hasn’t even really touched you yet.

“Did I say you could close your mouth? Open.” You stick your tongue out for him again and he leans down to spit on it. “Swallow… Good bunny.”

He pats your cheek and tilts your head back towards his cock. You immediately take his head into your awaiting mouth. You start to swirl your tongue around the tip but Rafe isn’t having it, he’s done with your teasing.

“Just fuckin’ sit still and relax your throat, let me use you like the whore you’ve been acting like all night.” He takes both sides of your head in his hands and thrusts deep into your throat, causing you to gag. “That's it baby, fucking choke on it.”

He starts to fuck into your mouth deep and hard, giving you no time to adjust. You look up at him and his head is thrown back, feral moans leave his lips and his chest is heaving. He pulls your head back, looking down at you. He feels like he’s gonna cum when he does. There’s a string of spit connected from your mouth to his cock, your mascara is running, more drool is dripping down your chin and onto your tits.

“Where’s your phone?” He growls.

“In my purse, probably on the floor by the door where I dropped it when you jumped me.” He rolls his eyes at your attitude, walking over to your purse to pull your phone out. He stands over you again, opening the camera.

“Keep sucking.”

You lean forward and take him back in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down on his dick. You decide you’re going to show him what you’re really made of. One of your hands grabs the base of his cock, stroking what isn’t down your throat, the other comes up to his spit slick balls, rolling them in your palm.

“Fuck. You really are a little slut, sucking me off like it’s your fuckin’ job. You wanna act like a whore? I’ll treat you like one. You wanna send out slutty little pictures to trash from the cut? I’ll help you out with that.” He turns the camera toward the mirror adjacent to where you were standing and snaps a picture of the two of you. Then he flips it towards your face and takes another. “Alright. Get up. Bend your ass over the sink.”

You scramble to your feet and lean down so your upper half is against the counter, your ass and hips in the air. The marble countertop is cool against your bare tits and your skirt rides up over your ass, revealing your little lilac colored thong with a dark spot right in the middle. Rafe groans at the sight, walking up behind you while he pulls his shirt over his head. You tilt your chin up so you can lock eyes with him in the mirror, clenching around nothing at the sight of him standing over your shirtless.

“Look how wet that slutty little pussy is already, all this just from sucking my cock?” He grabs the bottom hem of your skirt forcefully pushing it up over your hips. His hands grip the meat of your ass, spreading your cheeks. One of his long fingers hooks under the thin lace that sits snugly between your ass, pulling it back as far as it can go before letting go. It snaps against your pussy deliciously, making you whimper. “I’ve always wanted to get my hands on this ass. Never thought it’d be like this though, not the first time at least.”

“How’d you think it would be then?” You look over your shoulder at him and he looks like a lion that caught its prey. He doesn’t break eye contact with you when his hand comes down on your ass, once, twice, three times.

“For one, I didn’t think you’d be such a fucking brat. My sweet little bunny. Always acting so innocent. Thought I’d have to be all gentle with you and shit. If I knew you were such a little cock slut I would’ve done this a long time ago.” He spanks you again, but this time it comes from below, the smack hitting your wet lace covered cunt. His fingers hook into your panties, ripping them down your legs. He runs his fingers through your slit, circling around your clit but not never actually touching it. “Look at this fucking pussy, looks so fucking sweet.”

“Please stop teasing me, Rafey.” You whine.

“Please stop teasing me, Rafey.” He mocks, and you think he’s going to keep torturing you but two thick fingers are suddenly being shoved knuckle deep inside you.

“Oh, fuck!” His fingers start fucking you at a brutal pace, this thumb coming down to finally circle your slick covered clit. His free hand comes down on your ass again and it makes you clench around him.

“Whose pussy is this?” Rafe leans over you, his large frame caging your smaller one against the counter top, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “Tell me who fucking owns you.”

“You, you own me, daddy. I’m all yours.” He straight up growls in response, his fingers fuck into you impossibly faster and his lips latch onto your neck, surely sucking a bruise into it. Marking his territory. Your walls start to pulse around him and he can tell you’re getting close.

“You gonna cum? Gonna be a good little girl and cum for your daddy?”

“Yeah I’m gonna - I’m gonna fucking cum.” You push your hips back, fucking yourself against his hand. You're about to tumble over the edge when it’s suddenly ripped away from you, Rafe pulling his fingers out of you.

“Rafe! What the fuck! I was about to cum!” You push yourself up on your hands so you can glare at him in the mirror. He smirks back at you, taking the fingers that were inside you into his mouth with a groan.

“That’s what you get for acting like a fucking brat. Besides, if you’re gonna cum, it’s gonna be on my fuckin’ cock.” He pushes you back down by the back of your head, smushing your cheek against the counter. He lines his cock up with your entrance, fully inserting himself inside you in one thrust. “Oh shiiiit, you’re so fuckin’ tight bunny. Always knew you would be.”

“Oh my goddddd.” Your eyes roll back and drool drips down the corner of your mouth onto the marble from the way he has your cheeks pressed together with his hand. He’s huge and the stretch burns so good.

“Yeah, that’s a good little slut, take this fuckin’ dick baby.” His hand travels down your back, gripping your ass harshly before gripping onto your hips. He’s fucking you so hard the sound of your hips slapping together echoes through the large bathroom and his balls are hitting your clit with every thrust. “Your little pouge still the best dick you ever had?”

“N - no, you’re the best I’ve ever had daddy, you’re filling me up so good, feels so good.” Rafe reaches into his back pocket for your phone, using his other hand to pull your ass apart for the perfect view of his cock buried deep inside you.

“I think we should show him how good I make you feel, baby. Show him you really are my girl. From now on the only slutty pictures of you are either going to be taken for me or by me, got it?”

“Yes daddy, I got it. I’m yours, only yours.” He snaps a few photos before setting the phone down on the counter. He grabs onto the back of your neck, pulling your head up so you can see in the mirror.

“Look at yourself, look at what a little slut you are for my cock. Is that fucking drool?” He laughs condescendingly, a smug smirk spread across his lips.

You look at yourself in the mirror, your makeup is running down your cheeks, your hair is a disaster from how Rafe had been tugging on it, and there was in fact, drool dripping down your chin to your chest. Your eyes travel up to Rafe and you feel like you’re going to cum right then and there. His hair is hanging in his eyes slightly but you can see them enough that the look he gives you in the mirror makes your head spin. His toned chest is covered in a thin layer of sweat and the feral moans leaving him are your new favorite sound. His hand grabs onto the front of your throat, pulling you up so your back is against his chest. The new angel has him hitting deeper and you feel that coil in your belly starting to wind up again.

“Fuck daddy, I’m gonna cum, feels so good, please let me cum.” You reach behind you, threading your fingers into his hair while you push your hips back against his.

“Look who can be a good girl after all, asking me to cum without me even having to tell you? That’s such a good little bunny. Go on then, cum for daddy.” His fingers find your clit and it sends you over the edge, your walls tightening around him. “That’s it, fuckin’ cum on my cock.”

He fucks you through it before chasing his own high. Pushing you back down on the counter by your lower back, he grips onto your hips, and drills into you harder than ever.

“This is the best pussy I’ve ever had, this is my fucking pussy, you’re mine. I’m gonna fill you up so full of my cum you’re going to have to walk out of this party with it dripping down your legs.”

“Fuck yes daddy, fucking fill me up, please? Want your cum.” The sound of you begging for his release does him in. Just a few more rough thrusts and he’s pushing his hips flush against your own, pumping his cum deep inside of you. He pulls out and grabs onto your asscheeks, pulling them apart so some of the cum would seep out.

“Don’t fucking move.” He grabs your phone off the counter and takes a few shots of your puffy pussy dripping with his cum. “Good girl.”

He grabs onto your shoulders, pulling you up and flipping you towards him in one swift motion. He grips your face in his hands, kissing you rough and wet and possessively. He pulls away and tucks himself back into his shorts before looking at your phone again, he goes into your texts with Jj and selects the photos he just took, typing out a message and hitting send with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“Told you she was my girl.”

[dancingdonatello]

Heeeey! I'm currently hyperfixating on rottmnt sooooo... I'd like to request a scenario (if you don't want to do this, it's totally fine) in which reader has celiac disease and/or is lactose intolerant. Sooo they can't eat pizza with the guys! Maybe reader eats pizza with them anyways and gets super sick and tries to hide it (badly). In the end, reader cracks and tells the boys about their dietary restrictions . After that maybe something cutesy in which reader teaches Mickey some gluten-free recipies and they cook together. Or Raph goes all overprotective after learning about it and "cross-contamination" is his new favourite word like "CAREFUL Y/N that piece of letuce is in a plate that contained mac and cheese 3 weeks ago, it might be cross contaminated!!!" Lol Idk... I'm just bitter that pizza is my digestive system's natural enemy and I need some cheering up from my favourite turtles.

Love your writting. I've been going over your masterlist all morning :D Wether you do this or not, have a nice rest of your day 💜

rottmnt x reader

You got sick once. Once.

You had tried to feel included by eating some pizza and had immediately regretted it. Not only because of the pain but because of your turtle friends’ reactions.

You think you might’ve triggered Raph’s OCD. That guy obsessed over the dishes now, fearful of any plate or bowl that may have something that triggered your stomach issues. He would stare at you as you ate, constantly asking how you felt.

It was a really nice bonding moment between you and Mikey. He learned a lot from you and you two cooked together often now. He was really the only one who took the information in like a normal person. He often made you safe food to eat whenever you came over so you didn’t have to worry.

Unfortunately, the last two were… odd.

“You’re not cleaning it hard enough!” Leo grabbed the bowl from Donnie who held onto it tightly to prevent him from stealing it.

“I am cleaning it just fine, Nardo!” He tugged it back and they started a tug of war. Over a plate.

You and Mikey glanced at each other, unsurely. Raph was biting his claws, a nervous wreck as he watched the plate. “There was mac and cheese on that last week… Or was it a salad? No, it had to be mac and cheese.”

“Raphy, I’m sure it’s fine…” You patted his shoulder. It did nothing to reassure him.

As expected, the two turtles ended up dropping the plate and shattering it on the floor.

“Maybe it was for the best!” Raph relaxed. At least he’d never have to worry about that plate again. But what about the all the other plates they had? He tensed up just thinking about it. He should make a chart or a list… Or…

“Raph, why not just get a few plates and keep them separated and only let them use it, if you’re so stressed about it?” Mikey suggested while you tried to protest. They shouldn’t buy new plates for you—

Not only does he get new dishes and new forks and spoons, Raph gets an entire new fridge for food for you.

Well, you’ll never have to worry about the food here ever again.

[atelierlili]

In-Panem/Not Reaped Everlark AUs

Got asked to give some fanfic recommendations for In-Panem/Not Reaped Everlark AUs so here we are. Most of them (if not all of them) are gonna be fluffy and happy tbh because i can't take my pookies being hurt ):

Completed:

A New Path (138k words) by Endlessnightlock

The day after aging out of the Reaping, Katniss crosses paths with Peeta. She thanks him for the bread and to her surprise, a tentative friendship begins.

One of my favourites. I love the direction the author took with this story. Always made me want more!

Go Slow, Peeta (20k words) by Oakfarmer

The era of the Hunger Games has come to an end. How Everlark slowly happened anyway.

This was the one that started it all for me. Short, simple and to the point! A classic in my opinion.

Nothing Owed for a Gift (10k words) by orphaned account

Lately, Merchants have taken to flirting with unwitting Seam folk as a joke, sometimes going so far as to ask them out on a date. I've even heard of a couple instances of a Merchant asking someone from the Seam to marry them, and then laughing hysterically when the poor recipient says 'yes'. So, when Peeta Mellark approaches me after the reaping, red with nerves and pushing his lips together as if he's trying very hard not to do something like laugh, I'm immediately wary. Peeta can't possibly be asking me to marry him for real. ... right?

Urgh. Literally one of my favourite one-shots.

Inevitability (44k words) by Xerxia

What if? What if Peeta and Prim hadn't been reaped?

Definitely not the fluffiest fics in the list, but Katniss absolutely SHINES here. And Peeta stays very true to his character as well. Absolutely worth the read.

It Takes A District (55k words) by MTK4FUN

Thinking her mother is dying, Katniss Everdeen marries Peeta Mellark to keep her sister out of the Community Home.

I love this fic. I don't know what it is, but there's something about it that makes it standout on its own.

Katniss Everdeen Is Not A Stalker (241k words) by MegaAuLover

Katniss as a little problem, she can't stop looking through Peeta's window, trying to find a way to pay her boy with the bread back but as time goes on she realizes she wants more. But there is a problem the District is flooded with Peacekeepers and everyone faces danger as the Capitol tightens its reigns on the district. Can love bloom in the middle of adversity? Or will it shrivel in the face of surmounting danger?

This is the one. Easily one of the bestest AUs imo. Very long read- but I will be naming my first born after the squirrel. The Everlark relationship here is A+++.

Incomplete/Ongoing:

( I know its weird to recommend incomplete fics, some these ones are legitimately my favourite fics and think are still worth the read.)

Cavedweller (79k words) by Jennajuicebox (last update: 2021-01-25)

Her mother once told her she was brave. A word Katniss wouldn't have chosen for herself. Brave implies that you run headlong into the scary unknown. Brave implies you face the things that want you dead. It dredges up thoughts of conquering armies and swords raised over head. Katniss isn't brave. As much as she would never admit it to herself she is scared out of her wits. She is staring into a gaping chasm, waiting for it to swallow her whole.

I love AUs that explore Katniss otherside of the family so much. As always, the Everlark development here is absolutely heartwarming and delicious. 10/10

On the Threshold ( 97k words) by ghtlovesthg (last update: 2020-06-26)

Nineteen and free from the Reapings forever, Katniss finds a token on her doorstep commemorating her passage over the threshold of adulthood. Discovering the identity of the sender will start Katniss on a road that leads toward life's other milestones.

This is exactly how I envisioned Everlark would get together had it not been for the Reapings. So so so so good. There is just enough here to be satisfied that the fic is unfinished ; w;

hope you find something you like! I always have more if you want more to sink your teeth into <3 Happy readings!

@heartforeyes @the-tiny-fangirl

[bteezxyewriter12]

Text Disaster

Pairing- Hobi x Named Reader

Word count- 3.2k

Includes- Oral, pussy eating, cum eating, dirty talk, cock riding, squirting, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Hobi Masterlist

J POV

"I haven't done blonde in awhile and ARMYS liked it last time so I figured why not?", he says

I nod, smiling at him, "It's light this time though. But still looks good"

He laughs, "Thanks. It was like a neon yellow for the butter video but it washed out and I'm left with this"

"I like it a lot", I compliment, my cheeks heating up

God, I'm so fucking bad at flirting

Especially when it's Hobi

He's just so... gorgeous and he makes me nervous

Even though I've known him for a few years now

Through my best friend Namjoon

Namjoon said the guys were going to a bar to hang out tonight and asked me to come

Apparently the guys were bringing friends

Hobi and I both wanted a drink so we went to the bar together

He got his drink while I'm waiting for mine

"Your hair is pretty too", he says, looking at my purple and blue hair, "Like the braid. The colors look cool mixed like that"

I blush harder, "Thanks"

"You're welcome", he smiles, making me swoon at those dimples

Goddamn

I hear my drink being called out by the bartender

"I'll be right back"

He nods

We wandered a bit from the bar to give more people room to order

Squeezing between people, the bartender hands me my drink

"Thanks", I say, then take out some money and put it in the tip jar

"Thanks!", he smiles

I nod, then move out from between two guys

I look for Hobi and when I spot him, my heart deflates

Some girl dressed in super revealing skanky clothes is flirting with him

Smiling, batting her eyes, her hand on his arm as she giggles

And he smirks at her as he talks

I wasn't even gone for two minutes and he's already flirting with another girl

Not that he can't but he made it seem like he was gonna wait for me

And I'm not interrupting them

It'd just be awkward

I'm pissed

Namjoon dragged me here, hyping me up to get with Hobi tonight

Or at least talk him up

I even dressed up

Black mini skirt, red lace tank top and heels

Clothes I had to buy for tonight because I so do not wear this on a regular basis

It was all for nothing

Turning away, I walk to the other side of the bar, sit at a stool and take my phone out

I'm gonna blow up at Namjoon

Why the fuck isn't he answering?

I clearly told him he'd get sex tonight

Normally he'd be at my side immediately

We don't sleep together a lot

Only when one of us is very stressed or angry

Just to get the feelings out

And that's all it is

But he's not answering and I'm getting more pissed

Glancing up, I'm startled when I notice Namjoon across the bar

Engrossed in a conversation with a girl

His phone is on the bar, face down, his hand no where near it

There's no way he got into a conversation that fast

Especially not when I was offering sex

He would not stop to talk to a girl if we were going to leave

So that means I wasn't texting him

If I wasn't texting him, then who the fuck was I texting?

I open my phone and look at the recipient of my messages

And proceed to go into a sheer panic

Hobi

Oh my fucking god, I was texting Hobi all that

He knows

Oh fuck, he knows I love....oh my god I need to get the fuck out of here right now

I need to go home and go AWOL for awhile

Until he doesn't remember this conversation anymore

Fat chance of that

Oh god, I can never hang out with BTS again

I need to go

I stand up from the stool and turn around, my heart jumping in my throat when I see Hobi standing behind me

Oh fuck

I can't do this confrontation right now

We just stare at each other for a few seconds then he comes closer to me

I feel like I'm gonna throw up

He reaches out, his fingers pushing some stray hairs behind my ear

He leans forward and suddenly he's kissing me, his lips so soft, so smooth against mine

I grab onto his shirt to steady myself as my head spins and the ground sways beneath my feet

Oh my god, this kiss is fucking perfect

It's just a simple sweet kiss and it rocks my world

All too soon he pulls slightly away from me, his eyes on mine

"You have no fucking idea how long I've been waiting for you"

I blink in complete shock

What?

Which is what I say

"I thought you'd never notice me"

Is he kidding?

He's all I noticed

"Come home with me?", he asks shyly, then leans closer to my ear, "I'll let you ride me until all your frustrations are gone"

I swallow hard as he pulls back, suddenly smirking and the cocky Jay persona he has when he's in America comes out

I just nod, his smirk widens and he grabs my hand, dragging me behind him

And I follow him so willingly

--------------------------------

He kisses me hard, his tongue playing with mine as his hands tear clothes off me

He made it to his apartment in record time

Once inside his apartment, his lips have not left mine as he carried me to his bed, laid me on it and got on top of me

I managed to get the buttons of his shirt open while he got my skirt and panties off

Shoving it off his body, I whimper seeing his hard muscles in his chest and abs

Fuck, I just got so much more wetter

He sits up, his hands grabbing the hem of my lace tank top, pulling and tearing it down the middle, the sound of the fabric ripping so satisfying

"Fuck, you're tits look so good in this bra", he murmurs, his hands cupping my boobs over the red lacy bra I wore to match the shirt, "Too bad it has to come off"

With that he lifts me up easily, taking the remnants of my shirt off, my bra following

He lays me back down, his eyes running all over my body, his eyes wide, desire pooling in them

"My god, you're fucking perfect", he murmurs, his hands squeezing my boobs, then running down my body, his fingers leaving fire in their wake

When he reaches my thighs, he opens my legs, his eyes immediately lighting up

"Fuck you're so wet", he says, mesmerizingly, "Is this because of me?"

I nod, "Yes Hobi"

"Is this all for me?"

"Yeah Hobi"

His eyes move to mine, "Are you all for me?"

"Always", I answer truthfully

He smiles, leaning over me, his mouth so close to mine

"I'm all for you Jo. Always"

Then he's kissing me passionately but the kiss is gone as soon as it was there

And his mouth is now pressed against my pussy, his tongue licking rapidly, his voice moaning into me as pure pleasure consumes my body

My hand slides in his blond hair, holding on as his tongue runs along my cunt then slides down and into my hole

I gasp at the bliss, my cunt squeezing his tongue hard, his moans sending vibrations up my spine

"Hobi", I cry

"Fuck yes", he groans, his hands digging into my thighs as he keeps them wide open, "Fuck moan my name baby. God, always wanted to hear you moan my name"

Shit, he wasn't kidding when he said he was waiting for me to notice him

His tongue moves fast, fucking into my hole, the sounds of him eating me out so messily so fucking hot

His mouth sucks as his tongue repeatedly slides in and out, both of us moaning the entire time

His wet tongue slides up then rolls over my clit, intense pleasure running up my spine as I cry out

"Fuck, your pussy tastes so good", he groans, lapping at my clit, "And your fucking clit baby, fuck. Throbbing so hard. Gonna let me suck on you?"

"Yes Hobi!", I yell, in so much bliss

Fuck, he can do anything to me as long as this euphoria stays

As long as it's him doing it

"Mmm good girl", he moans, now using the tip of his tongue to flick back and forth

"Oh god, oh god", I moan, feeling the pleasure building

Pulling his hair, he moans loudly his mouth latching onto my clit and sucking hard

"Fuck!", I shout, looking down between my legs to the completely erotic sight of Jung, Hoseok eating me out

He looks completely at home, like he could just stay there, eating my cunt all day

His eyes move to me, watching me as he continues, his hard jaw moving with each suck

My hips move involuntarily, fucking into his face and he nods, his brown eyes not leaving mine

We move like that together, my legs shaking around his head, my orgasm building and building

I'm so close and the next move of his beautiful mouth has me coming so fucking hard as I scream his name

"Hoseok!"

I can't, the bliss is so fucking good, taking over every inch of me

He sucks me though it, moaning like he's getting blown

When I finish, his tongue moves to my hole, licking away, groaning loudly

"So fucking good. So good"

When he pulls away, he sits up, his face drenched in my cum and juice, making me blush

"Promise I can eat your cunt everyday", he demands

My mouth drops in shock at his words

"Promise baby", he repeats

"I...I promise", I answer

That will not be a problem

None at all

"Good girl", he smirks, sending a shiver up my back

I really like him calling me that

He gets off the bed, getting out of his jeans and boxers

I gape at his huge hard cock

Like really, that is so fucking massive

He just smirks, his hand wrapping around his length, stroking it a few times

"Ready to ride me?"

I blink, "Uh-"

"You said you wanted to ride Namjoon until you're not pissed anymore", he reminds me, "Sorry to say that you're not riding him anymore. Ever again actually. Not as long as you're mine"

I just nod, his words sinking in

This is more than just a one time thing to him

And that makes me so happy

"Whenever you're pissed off and you need to fuck away frustrations, you ride me"

"Ok", I agree, immediately

He nods, moving on the bed, kissing me softly before laying down

"C'mon aegi", he says

I smile and immediately climb in his lap

"There's my good girl", he murmurs, holding his cock up for me

Hovering over him, I move down, feeling his head right against my entrance

"Sit baby"

I push down on his cock, shivers of pleasure running up my spine as his fat dick spreads my cunt around him

"Oh fuck yes", he groans, his hands on my hips, helping me down, "So tight baby. Feels so good"

We are a tight fit, my pussy opening just enough to let him in

My cunt sucks his cock inside me as I move down, each fat inch pushed into me making me wetter and wetter

I have never been in such pleasure just getting a dick inside me

"Yes Hobi", I murmur, moving my hips in a circle to open my cunt more on his dick

"God, you're throbbing so hard already", he moans, his head pushed back into the pillow, "Fuck, you like my cock inside you this much?"

"Yes Hobi", I whimper, as I bottom him out, rocking on his perfect cock, his head in the perfect angle to rub against my spot, "So much"

"Mm I can see that baby", he murmurs, "You're moving on my cock already"

"So good Hobi", I moan, closing my eyes, grinding on him, "Fuck, big cock baby. So big"

I lean on his abs, starting to bounce softly on him, only sliding a little bit up his cock

"Yes baby. Keep going", he urges, as I slip up his cock more and more with every bounce, taking him deep inside, "So fucking pretty for me. Pretty little pussy taking my cock greedily inside her, creaming my cock like a waterfall. Pretty body out for me to watch. And you're beautiful face aegi, feeling so good because of me"

"Mmm hmm", I moan, riding him harder, his cock so deep I can feel him in my stomach

It feels phenomenal

I can hear how wet my cunt is, the squelching sounds mixing with the rhythmic slap of my ass hitting his legs with every move

Sex has seriously never felt this good before

Never

His moans are so pretty, his hands gripping my thighs hard, pleasure all over his face

Pleasure I'm giving him

It's surreal

I keep moving faster, now sliding up to his head and bottoming him out over and over, the pleasure increasing

How does he feel this good?

How?

Each bounce brings me closer and closer, the pressure in my stomach ready to snap

I take him in again, my body thrown into an utterly blissful orgasm, the ecstasy something I haven't felt before

"Hoseok!", I scream, my whole body shaking uncontrollably, "Hoseok!"

I vaguely hear him moaning about how good it feels but I can't concentrate on anything but the pleasure

When I finally finish, I open my eyes I didn't know I closed and look at him

He's gazing up at me in awe, "That was the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen"

I just raise my eyebrow, no longer shy

"And it felt so good too", he smirks

I giggle, leaning over and kissing his soft lips

He kisses me back and I'm in heaven

When we pull away, I press a kiss to the completely adorable and hot as fuck beauty mark on his lip

I always wanted to kiss that

Moving my finger over the mark, I murmur, "I love this. I hate when they cover it up in pictures"

His cheeks blush an adorable red , making me smile softly

I kiss the mark again, then sit up, ready to move on him again

Leaning on his abs, I start bouncing, watching the pleasure on his face

He's so fucking beautiful, his body drenched in sweat, his wet hair plastered to his forehead, his mouth slight open as he breathes

His hands move up my body, slowly touching my sweaty skin, his fingers feeling so fucking good

I move faster on him, his cock feeling so good, spreading me wide open for him

He's so hard, every clench around him feels amazing and I can feel every inch of him

My brain is turning off from the euphoria, my skin trembling

His hands move around my boobs, kneading them as his fingers pinch my nipples

"Hobi!", I cry, my pussy gushing around him as the bliss is turned up

"Mmm so wet baby. Love listening to this little pussy fuck my dick"

One hand drops to my clit, fingers rubbing, making me shout in pleasure

"Yeah aegi", he urges, "Cum for me baby. Wanna feel you gush around my cock"

I whine, leaning over, my hands on his shoulders as I ride him the hardest and fastest I can

"That's it baby", he smirks, "Ride my cock just like that. Fuck you feel so good. Pretty tight pussy so good"

His fingers keep moving as I bounce, his voice so desperate, his skin shivering under mine

He's close too

"Please cum around my cock baby", he begs, "I need to fill you with cum"

God, I want that so much and those words are just the push I need to fall headfirst into my orgasm

"Hoseok!", I scream, stars blasting in my vision as I squirt all over him, clenching on his cock so tightly

"Yes, yes yes baby!", he yells, "Fuck! Joanne!"

His cock throbs inside me, then I feel his warm cum filling me right up

I watch him orgasm and it is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen

He's so ethereal

"Baby", he groans as we finish, pulling me down on top of him

I lay on his shoulder, burying my face in his neck, holding onto him tightly

His arms move around my back, one secure around me, the other running in my hair

"I love you", he says softly

My entire body is shocked as I lift my head, staring at him in disbelief

I had no idea what he felt was love

Lust yes

Like yes

But love?

I didn't think he was there yet

"Don't look so shocked Jo", he says, smiling softly, "You're not the only one who unloaded your feelings on Namjoon"

"Namjoon knew?", I ask, surprised

"That I'm stupidly in love with you? Yeah he knows", he nods, "He told me he would get you to come tonight so I can talk to you. Maybe ask you out if I got the courage to"

Ok that's surprising

But what about that girl?

She swooped in right away and he didn't look for me until after I mistake texted him

"But I saw you with that girl-"

"That didn't mean anything Jo", he says, "She just showed up out of nowhere. I wanted her to leave me alone. The second I was able to get away from her I did. It was actually your texts that got me away from her"

That's ironic

"But you flirted with her"

He shakes his head, "No Jo. She flirted with me. I just smiled awkwardly to try not be rude"

I dunno

Maybe I thought he was flirting because I was so heated

I don't know

"Look at me baby", he says, his hands cupping my face

I raise my eyes to his, seeing the love in them

He really does love me

"How could I ever want anyone but you", he murmurs, "I never could. I don't want any girl but you. You never have to be jealous aegi. Never. I want only you. I love you. You're perfect. My perfect everything"

I can't help the smile that creeps on my face

"I love you too Hobi. You're kinda my everything too"

He smiles widely, his adorable dimples on display, "You have no idea how happy that makes me aegi"

Oh I know because I'm over the fucking moon

"Well this night turned out better than I expected", he laughs

I giggle, running my fingers in his hair, "So much better"

I lean down, kissing his perfect lips, so happy that he's mine and I can have his kisses all the time now

After the kiss, we cuddle into each other, his hand back in my hair, playing with it

"Sleepy time?", I ask

He nods, chuckling, "Sleepy time baby. Are you comfy?"

I nod, snuggling into him, "You're so soft baby. My Hobi pillow"

He laughs, kissing my forehead, "I love you"

"I love you", I answer

Closing my eyes, I lay in my boyfriend's arms, so happy I fucked up the texting tonight

[ragecndybars]

Persona 3 Characters Ranked By How Good of Hugs They Give

kotone/hamuko/minako. best hugger in sees. she's a hashtag empath, so she always knows when you need a hug, too. will tug your head down to rest on her shoulder and start rubbing your back and everything. the technique? perfect. 10/10 no notes.

shinjiro. he's a lot less likely to hug anyone but aki, but when he does, it's big ol bear hug and he's not letting go until they feel better, period. he feels slightly awkward about it, but once he's holding on, he's committed. he's got that weighted blanket swag. (he doesn't smell the best though which holds him back from first place)

ryoji. hug will be a bit awkward at first but then he'll find his stride and suddenly he's a good hugger for all the same reasons as kotone. he had to get it from somewhere, after all. loses some points because he can be a little overly familiar, so he might employ back-rubbing in situations where it's unneeded.

fuuka. she's a little shy and less likely to hug, but if she does, she'll do it with all her heart!! a very gentle hugger who will try to console you as you're hugging. she might also start crying if things get emotional tbh but she won't get your shirt too wet. she also isn't likely to let go until you're smiling again.

aigis. she may be made of metal but i think we know from the ending of the game that she will cradle her loved ones so gently and with all the love and protection in her whole body <3 probably hugs a little tentatively because she doesn't want to crush the recipient of her hug. she's surprisingly warm, not cold, and her arms are less rigid than you would think.

i HAD to put koromaru this low because he technically can't hug you. but you can hug HIM and he is soft and warm and loves you so much.

yukari. she has good hugging technique, like fuuka's, but she's much more hesitant to actually hug and is more likely to pull away prematurely because she suddenly gets bashful. if someone else hugs her, she might even freeze up rather than hugging back, even if she wants to. her mind is racing with other thoughts as they hug, which makes her hug a little awkward and distracted.

theodore. gives an excellent gentle hug but he has no idea what to do next. he'll just stand there totally still indefinitely, and you have to kick him to get him to let you go.

elizabeth. hugs very enthusiastically but she will be saying some weird eccentric shit into your ear while you're trying to enjoy the hug. you could be on the verge of tears and she'd be like "oh my, is this what you humans call a 'bear hug'? should i summon a bear persona? ohohoho."

akihiko. he will hug with reckless abandon, but he is very awkward about it and hugs way too tight. like, a firm hug is nice and all, but akihiko please i cant breathe you'rE CRUSHING ME AKIHIKO--COUGH COUGH HACK--

minato/makoto. very stiff and wooden while he hugs you, so the hugging technique itself is pretty poor, but he has good awareness of when a hug is and isn't necessary and knows exactly when to squeeze a little and pull back. a quiet, slightly awkward hug.

ken. would be higher up on this list if he could just accept that he is Small but whenever he hugs someone he has to attempt to hug them in a Big Boy way which means he'll be trying to pull you down so he can hug you from "above", like with your head on his shoulder, and your back is gonna hurt like hell afterwards because he is just way too short.

junpei. gets self conscious and jerks away in the middle of a hug, just like yukari, but his technique is also awkward and wooden like minato, and if he's emotional enough to hug without feeling awkward then he'll be squeezing too tight like akihiko. worst of all worlds.

mitsuru. oh god. you're hugging her. why are you hugging her. what does she do with her arms. where should her face be. oh my god you're still holding on. are you saying something? she is not listening. she is too busy standing completely still like you're a t-rex whose vision is based on movement and if she just stays perfectly still you'll forget she's there and wander off.

[alex51324]

Dear it/its users

OK, so this is a speech I've been working on ever since my sister told me that my two nonbinary niblings had added it/its to their list of pronouns. So far, they haven't indicated that those are their first-choice pronouns, so we've kind of been skirting the issue, but I've been getting this ready, because I love them and want to try to help them avoid long-term unintended consequences as they enter the adult world. Now I'm sharing it with you, because doing so is as nice as I know how to be.

First: If I, as a queer elder and active Tumblr user, have the initial reaction of, "Fuck, these little shits are going to get somebody fired with their 5-edgy-4-U bullshit," that is super-important context for you to know in considering taking this choice out into the larger world.

Now, I have made the effort of educating myself, and I understand that many people who make this choice have substantive reasons that go beyond edgy teen bullshit. However, you have to allow for the fact that the majority of people will not move past their first impression regarding this choice.

Being gender-nonconforming is already a strike against you in a lot of contexts--even in reasonably liberal settings, unconscious bias is a thing. Is being it/its important enough to you to add another strike against yourself?

Second: People are going to be uncomfortable calling you "it," even if you've thoroughly explained why you want them to.

This is different from people not wanting to call you by your chosen name, or wanting to call your by the pronouns for your gender assigned at birth, because these people will be coming from a place of wanting to respect you.

Yes, you can argue with them that calling you as you want to be called is the most respectful option, but they will still be uncomfortable. You can't reason them out of feeling uncomfortable, because they didn't reason themselves into it. It's a feeling. They may get over it in time.

But.

If those people do not already have some prexisting love, loyalty, or commitment toward you, that motivates them to sit with that discomfort and work through it, the easiest way out will be to simply decide that--for some totally unrelated reason, that their conscious mind will be fully convinced is true--you and they just didn't click! You don't seem like a good fit for the job, team, walking tour of the Lake District, whatever it is.

Because people don't like being uncomfortable, and if mentioning your existence puts them in an ethical dilemma, a lot of them will just nope right out of it.

And again, these will be people who are motivated in part by their desire to respect you and your autonomy. They will feel, consciously or not, that you have put them in a shitty position where no matter what they say, they'll feel like they're doing something wrong--

And they, dear nibling, will feel that way because you have. You didn't intend to, but you did.

I love you, and if that is your choice I will get used to it, but I am writing this in the second person for a reason.

Story time: I was trans/nonbinary in nine-teen-fucking-ninety-six. The LGB* organization on my college campus didn't know what the fuck to do with me. When I said in "let's go around the room and introduce yourself" time on the first day of class, that despite what the roster said, I was actually a boy called Alex, people got nervous and looked away, and kind of avoided talking about me for the rest of the semester.

(*By the time I left, it was the LGBT organization.)

And then when I was ready to go to grad school, I had professors tell me that they weren't sure how to write me a letter of recommendation, because they knew I didn't want to be called "she," but if they put "he," the recipient might be confused, and if they put "they" they'd look bad because we were in the English department and "they" is plural.

When I got to grad school, I kept "Alex," but skipped saying anything about my gender identity. It didn't help all that much. I got along well enough with my classmates, but all of the professors seemed to be waiting for me to cause trouble, and as a teaching assistant my student evaluation comments made frequent reference to my gender presentation and how they found my name "confusing." (Another grad student, whose name was James or something like that, went by Kip, and nobody gave him shit about it.) I got an anonymous rape threat in my campus email about my "indoctrinating students with my radical agenda," and the campus cop who responded to the complaint said maybe I should, "Tone it down a bit." (Tone what down? I was dressing and acting pretty much the same as the male half of my class cohort.) I ended up dropping out after the Masters, even though the plan all along had been to do the PhD and have an academic career.

Throughout all this, I was a bit more oblivious than I should have been about the underlying pattern behind all this--blame the autism, I guess.

I don't know, if I'd realized it all, whether i would have made different choices regarding my identity and presentation--since my choices were pretty much limited to "present as my gender assigned at birth, or suffer the consequences."

You, today, nibling, in 2024, have the option of being a "they/them," and if you choose your company right, it won't be a big deal--it'll close some doors, but mainly ones you don't want to go through anyway.

Or you can be an it/its, and watch doors slam in your face.

I will love you and support you either way, dear nibling, but I can't make the world love you.

I--we, my generation--changed the world enough that there's a space in it for people like us. I hope you make that space bigger, better, and brighter, but it hurts to think about you dragging yourself through the same shit we went through. We built a path behind us, so you wouldn't have to.

(P.S., For the love of god, please don't get a nonbinary gender marker on your driver's license; the last thing we need is you getting shot at a routine traffic stop.)

[pinkcaddyconfessions]

Anything for You, Darlin’

- - -

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Reader (can be Austin!Elvis if you prefer)

Word Count: 1,052 words

Warnings: Fluff, Pregnancy, Child birth, mentions of the Colonel, the Colonel being an asshole, language, yelling (let me know if I miss anything)

Author’s Note: Thank you again for all the love you’ve shown this series so far! My plan is to upload two chapters today so stayed tuned!

- - -

Chapter 3

December 1967

Finally it was your favorite time of year, Christmas. Graceland was all decorated with lights, wreaths, the Navity scene outside and so much more. The stocking were hung inside with everyone’s name on them, one of your personal touches. This year, a tiny little red stocking was a reminder of something great: It was also close to time for baby Presley to make their arrival. You wanted a Christmas baby while Elvis just wanted the baby to get here before the new year came. The bags were packed and placed by the door in case of a moments notice. You and Elvis were ready.

December 23, 1967

Two days before Christmas. You were excited, but miserable. You wanted this baby out now. Your back hurt, nothing fit right the list went on. Elvis and the Colonel got into another yelling match about him wanting Elvis to go start production on another movie right after Christmas.

“Now Elvis my boy…, we have contracts to hold up. They won’t like it if we don’t hold up…. our end of the deal,” the Colonel said as if he completely neglected to look at the situation.

“There ain’t no way in hell I’m leaving (Y/N) here by herself! She’s having my baby for God’s sake…… they will fucking understand!,” Elvis shouted back.

You had heard Elvis yell many times, some of those occasions you were the recipient of. However, this was different. He was being defiant, finally standing up for himself, you, and his family. After the Colonel left, he went upstairs to your bedroom. He saw you on the bed hiding your face in the pillows to hide the tears. He was concerned so he sat next to you.

“Baby…… he’s gone. You don’t have to worry about me leaving you. I love you too damn much,” he said to you hoping you would lift your head up. “Now (Y/N), please let me see your little face, doll,” Elvis said to you. You slowly sat up and clang onto him.

“Elvis, I’m proud of you. You finally told him off it’s about fucking time,” you said to him with a chuckle. “Anything for you, doll,” Elvis said as he kissed you on the lips. He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. “I’m leaving the door open. Holler if you need me!” Elvis called out as he walked away. Just as he turned the water facet turned off, the worst pain in your life shot up your back. You yelped in pain and looked down: your water had broke. You were about to cry again.

“E.P!! Elvis!,” you yelled at him. He came running to you with the frantic look in his eyes.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked you

“I…i..I.. I think my water just broke,” you said to him softly.

He held your face in his hands for a moment just to silently reassure you that everything was going to be ok. He helped you get dressed and carried you down the stairs. Still in his pajamas himself, he grabbed the bags, called Jerry and a few others of the mafia and took you to the hospital. He was driving so fast you told him to slow down at least ten times.

You finally got to the hospital at around 11:30PM. Elvis carried you in and demanded a wheelchair and room. You tried to quiet him down, but there was no point. Elvis was nervous and scared for you and the baby. Nurses brought the wheelchair along with the clipboard with paperwork which seemed ten miles long. Everything seemed to happened so fast with him wheeling you up to the maternity ward.

When you got up there, everything was in place. The gown was placed on you while Elvis had to get into the mandatory scrubs that all fathers wore while in the delivery room. When he finally got back to you, you had to chuckle to yourself. Here was your husband, Elvis Aaron Presley, the most fashionable man you know, in scrubs. He looked you at puzzled. “What baby? Do you like not like them?,” Elvis said. “Baby”, replied back between contractions, “I love them on you… but… ow son of bitch this hurts!” Tears were streaming down your face as he wiped them off your cheeks.

“Elvis…. Aaron…Presley I swear to god you will pay for this,!” You yelled at him during the height of the pain. He knew you didn’t mean it. The doctor knew by the pain levels and insults you were slinging, it was time.

“Alright Mrs. Presley I need to push now as hard as you can,” the doctor said with a certain gusto in her voice. You began to push. Elvis was supporting your upper body with one arm while holding your hand with the other.

“Come on (Y/N)! You’re doing great baby!” He said trying to encourage you. You felt sweaty and tired. “E.P. I swear to you…. I’m gonna kill…you after this. You won’t… be getting any…for a very… long time,” you mustered at him. He couldn’t help but giggle quietly because he knew you didn’t mean a damn word of it.

Finally after what seemed like forever and day, you two heard the sound that you’ve been waiting on for nine months: a baby’s cry.

The doctor looked up at both of you as she spoke up, “congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Presley it’s a girl!”

You were exhausted and in shock. You were finally a mother and Elvis was finally a father.

“Baby, I’m so damn proud of you little mama, you did so amazing” he said while crying and planting kisses on your head. As soon as they cleaned her up, the nurse gently placed her on your chest and the water works began to flow.

“Hi little baby girl…. Welcome to this crazy world little one…. I love you” you barely got out through the tears. She was finally here on earth. Your little angel, his princess arrived on Christmas Eve. She was perfect. She was exactly what you needed, heaven sent.

————

Baby’s Name: Mallory Love Presley

Date of Birth: December 24, 1967

Time of Birth: 12:45AM

Physicalities: 7 pounds, 4 ounces, 20 inches long

[actuallysaiyan]

Kinktober Day 26: Threesome(Wild Sex)

warnings/kinks: threesome, fellatio, cunnilingus, student-teacher type relationships, mentions of drinking/alcohol pairings: Jiraiya x Fem!Reader x Minato Namikaze word count: 1k tag list: @beneathstarryskies, @ricflairdrip20, @witchofcustom, @loki-love, @xailem, @the-eternal-sunflower

It started with drinks at the bar. And you found your sensei being just a little more flirty with you than usual. Minato was his usual self, but even with the booze flowing all through you, you could tell that there was something else going on. It almost seemed like the men had planned something tonight and didn’t tell you. It’s a little secret between the two of them, and you weren’t sure where this might go.

“You’re such a beauty,” Jiraiya says between sips of his drink.

Minato chuckles, “Don’t embarrass her.”

“Thank you, sensei. I hope you think I’m also strong and resilient, just as you taught me to be.”

Jiraiya laughs and he reassures you that he thinks so highly of you. Besides Minato, you were the apple of his eye. Jiraiya had found you so sweet and spunky, and when you and Minato both got promoted to jounin, he couldn’t be anymore proud. But lately, he can’t calm down the feelings he recently developed for you. You’re so soft and sweet. 

Your finger traces the rim of your glass, “I happen to find you fairly good looking too, sensei.”

Minato laughs nervously, “Great, I’m left out.”

“No! Of course I find you attractive, Minato. Who wouldn’t?”

This makes him blush. But it’s all it takes to get both of them to realize that you would be a happy recipient for their little game.

It’s not even an hour later that you’re back at Minato’s place. Jiraiya can’t keep his hands to himself. His large hands cup your breasts, basically tearing your shirt from your body. Minato tries to calm him down, but Jiraiya is much too invested in getting you naked.

“Sensei!” You cry out. “That was my favorite shirt.”

Jiraiya presses soft but wet kisses on your neck and chest, “I’ll just buy you a new one. I’m loaded, you know?”

You moan as he begins nipping and sucking on the tender flesh of your neck. Then he trails down to your tits that are still hidden in the lacy cups of your bra. Minato can’t tear his eyes away from the sight unfolding before him. His cock stirs in his pants.

They finally get you undressed and pressed against the mattress of the sofa. Jiraiya swears he’s never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Minato is already jerking himself off at the mere sight of your naked body. Then Jiraiya lets his hands wander all over your body, marveling at how soft and smooth you are under his palms. 

He slots himself between your thighs on his stomach. His lips press the softest kisses to your inner thighs. You can feel your juices just dripping from your tight hole. You’d be a liar if you said you never fantasized about this. It’s so thrilling to finally live out these fantasies. Jiraiya moans as he can finally smell your arousal properly. It’s so intoxicating. He presses a kiss to your mound before beginning to lap at your cunt. 

“How does she taste, sensei?” Minato asks as he continues to stroke his leaking cock.

“So fuckin’ good,” Jiraiya is already pussydrunk from the little bit he’s tasted.

Minato realizes he can easily fit himself into this equation. He pulls his pants down even further down his hips and he brings his cock to your pretty lips. It doesn’t take much for you to realize what he wants. Your mouth is watering at the sight of him presenting his leaking cock to you. Your tongue pokes out and you moan as you taste him.

“She’s a good girl, huh?” Minato asks as you wrap your lips around his cock.

Jiraiya is rutting against the couch as he laps at your slick, “So good.”

Your tongue runs against the sensitive veins on the underside of Minato’s cock, making him grunt your name. His fingers tangle in your hair, and he guides you to begin bobbing your head to a pace that has him panting. Jiraiya looks up at the two of you, and he can’t remember the last time he’s ever seen anything so erotic.

“I never thought I’d see my two star students become so intimate with one another,” Jiraiya teases before he leans back in to begin sucking on your clit. Your whole body shudders at the sensation. Of course Jiraiya would be an expert at this. It’s almost too good, making your eyes water at the intense pleasure. 

You swear you see stars in your vision. Even with Minato’s cock shoved down your throat, you still moan so loudly. Jiraiya can feel you shuddering as you get closer and closer to your orgasm. His cock has never been this hard before. And Jiraiya has had all kinds of filthy sex, but to be able to be intimate with the two of you, it’s almost too much.

Minato grunts, “fuck, I’m close.”

Jiraiya laughs, “I bet she’s got a nice mouth.” 

Your whole body tenses as you feel the pleasure building. The knot in your stomach is threatening to snap and with your mouth full of Minato’s cock, you can’t exactly warn either of them that you’re about to cum. Jiraiya can tell just from the way you’re tensing and squirming against him. He knows the signs of a woman close to her own orgasm.

A few more lashes of his silky tongue, and you’re a goner. You moan and whine around Minato’s cock as the pleasure washes over you. Jiraiya has never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Minato is struggling to hold on, but he can’t anymore. Spurts of his hot, thick load spill into your mouth. The two of you ride your high together, with Jiraiya extending the pleasure even more with every swipe of his tongue.

Jiraiya sits up on his knees, “Who’s ready to pleasure their sensei?” He has his pants slipped below his hips, and his cock is leaking and red. He gives it a few lazy strokes before looking at you and Minato.

Minato and you share glances, knowing that you’ll both be pleasuring your sensei.

[bitbybitwrites]

If I Can Make Your Heart My Home - Recipe and Song list - Chp 16, 17 and 18

Here is the music/recipe wrap-up for chapters 16, 17 and 18!

You can see the recipes/music under the cover art by @datshitrandom

Some spoilers are below, so if you’d like to read the fic first, click here

Click below for the recipe and song lists for:

Chapters 1, 2 and 3, Chapters 4, 5 and 6, Chapters 7, 8 and 9, Chapters 10, 11 and 12 , Chapters 13, 14 and 15

To see the YouTube playlist for the fic, click here.

******

Chapter 16

Mood music:

Recipies:

You'll find Victoria sponge, Tea sandwiches and Kurt's cookies in earlier chapter recipe wrap ups ( see links above)

“Besides, it's not all for me.  I share with my sister Jean.  By the way, she happens to enjoy those chouquettes you make,” Chef Sylvester tossed out as she continued peering at him over her glasses.

*****

Chapter 17

Mood music:

Recipes:

"Is he off to go take lunch with his boyfriend, then?" Santana asked sarcastically as she continued vigorously stirring the batch of Ceylon Chicken Curry soup she made for the luncheon.

****

Chapter 18

Mood music:

Soon, a bouncy salsa started playing.  Trent wiped his hands on his apron and pulled Santana into an impromptu dance.  She laughed and played along for a few seconds only.

Recipies:

"My pozole," Santana said, smacking him on the arm as she pulled away to return to the stove.  "Don't you dare make me ruin my Abuela's recipe.  Find another dance partner."

Santana's pozole, the recipe of which was handed down to her by her beloved abuela, was simmering on the stovetop.  That was to be partnered with her father's cochinita pibil.  Warm hand-made tortillas sat folded carefully in a towel, ready to be brought to the once dinner was about to be served.

Trent had a Caprese salad in the refrigerator, prepped and ready to serve.  He was putting the finishing touches on an impressive charcuterie board, abundant with tidbits that made even Kurt's mouth water.  Trent had also just taken out some herb parmesan biscuits out of the oven that he had baked.  Kurt had been particularly eying Trent's appetizer version of his parent's boxty recipe that was laid out on a silver serving tray.

As for dessert, that, of course, was left to Kurt.  His addition to the meal were the apple hand pies that were his mother's own recipe and his father's favorite dessert ( when he was allowed to have a treat from his usual heart-healthy diet), an assortment of cookies, as well as some mini dark chocolate tartlets sprinkled with sea salt. 

Think I got them all. Let me know if I missed any.

Sending all my love to you readers who have given this fic a chance. Wow can't believe we're already up to Chapter 18!

Chapter 19 to be posted soon!

[mnstcrbnll]

"THE FIRST ROUND IS OVER, STARDUSTS!"

"Plenty of you tried your luck, not many of you managed to get it right! In such a sad twist of fate, some of you even guessed correctly the first time, and then changed your answer in a wrong one! Sad, sad, so sad.

Now, as we usually do before explaining the rules for the second round, I'd like to first of all give a round of applause to everyone who tried their luck so far! Winners or not, I loved to see you guys at work! Secondly, I'd love to remind everyone who got their secrets revealed already, losing a special extra point, and then give you the tier list of every star so far! But first... let us see to who belonged the Secret Secret of the season: " I can't stand the Dragon-Type Gym Leader of my Region. It's not like he's bad, or mean, or evil. He's just very annoying. " And it was...

Why, our Sadie, of course! And she wasn't slick at all, most people who tried their luck with the Secret Secret got that right!"

"It's not like I can't stand him, it's just--"

"--NOW, let us see. First of all, the secrets that have been revealed!"

" I can cook just a few things, but those I can cook extremely well. I try new recipies everytime I can. ", the secret our Hau discovered, was in fact John's! We'd love to test those tasty experiments someday!

" I was adopted by a brood of dragon pokemon when I was a teenager. ", guessed by our ghastly partecipants Gold, was Rika's! Guess that little hint really helped him change his mind!

A very simple yet impactful " I am Dialga. ", sent to Viola and discovered by both her and Ree, was Akira's! And here we thought Red and May were our guest stars, this season!

Speaking of which, " Stole most of the street signs in my town. They never got replaced. ", unfortunately not guessed by our Ree but by Rika's, was in fact Red's! So scandalous!

Another big one,  "Uhm, to put it bluntly... I have superpowers. I can't go into more detail than that right now, but I wanted to get it off my chest. I'm tired of hiding and being scared. So, uh, yeah, heh... ", given to Wes, was Hau's! Alola must be full of surprises!

" One Pokemon of mine evolved prematurely to protect me from an ex when I was a teen. ", the quite sad secret Giovanni recieved, was Shay's! We wish her nothing but the best!

And last but not least, " He used to collect the original pokemon cards, and at one point had the original 149 (no mew or mewtwo) ", guessed by our May, was Giovanni's! I'd argue that there are plenty of more juicy secrets from this man, but who are we to judge, eh?

And now, for the points.

With an unfortunate amount of ZERO STARS, on the very bottom of the list we find Akira ( @timeless-timepieces), John ( @soultoken ) and Shay ( @murmursdraconic ). But don't despair, you'll still have plenty of time to gain way more very soon! Our audience believes in you!

At ONE STAR, mostly gained by having a very secret secret, we find Alistair ( @orreasshole ), Colza ( @grassius ), Kane ( @haerith ), Rika ( @monterraverde ) and Yellow ( @yellowsforest )! I expect a lot from you guys, don't disappoint me!!

Let's move up to TWO STARS, where we can find Clair ( @draconscious ), Gold ( @gildead ), Grusha ( @beiowzero ), Hau ( @tapuhauko ) and Red ( @redlegend ). Not too bad, if I say so myself!

Oh here comes the good ones! Sharing the spot at THREE STARS, we've got May ( @badbirchenergy ), Ree ( @skullkxd ), Viola ( @variiavi ) and Wes ( @snagorre )! This is getting intense!

And while we don't get anyone at five stars, Giovanni ( @earth-master ) alone reached FOUR STARS! And we promise we weren't bribed or anything!!

Our second round will begin in a few minutes. For now, let's have some moment to relax with a little ad break!"

[queermediaanysis]

I collect vintage, antique, and antiquarian books. But I don’t mean that I’ve spent hundreds to obtain a pristine collection of near-mint condition author signed first editions that’ve been protected carefully instead of read and re read.

I mean 50% of my collection comes from me going to I thrift shops and finding the few the old books they have. Sometimes I get them just because they’re pretty. More often, it’s because I love the history from old books that I’ll only ever get glimpses of; little notes in the margins, bookmarks that are newspaper clippings from the thirties, the one where a kid drew all over the pages of his parents’ poetry book from 1910. I bought one because I opened it and on the inside of the cover someone had written “terrible book and even worse ending. Don’t bother!” I’ve got one that had book club bills to the previous owner dated from the ‘60s tucked between the pages. I have a “Guide to Etiquette for the Proper Young Lady” from the ‘50s with a note from the recipient’s parents written inside the cover saying they hope she will learn from this book and that they’ve got the church praying for her; that book is in pristine condition and clearly never read and I love that for her, whoever she was living her rebel life.

The other 40% are things my local thrift store can’t really sell, like “A Guide to Modern Women’s Medicine” from 1961 or other super outdated reference books that they’ll call me to see if I want because while making small talk about my weird book purchases with the cashier i mentioned I’m a writer doing a historically accurate time travel series and that stuff is actually WAY better of a resource for some things than digging through Google. I get a call every few months to see if I want any of it and I’m so appreciative of them.

I do have a few valuable things, like the first edition of a Nancy Drew book from the ‘30s I found at Habitat for Humanity for $1. I also have the full set of all 54 first edition Great Works of Western Literature from Encyclopedia Brittanica, which I got for free from someone who’s had it in his family for three generations but can’t take it when he moves, and wanted to give it to someone who’d appreciate it. They’ve all clearly been read many times. And I’m so stoked to start reading some of the authors that’ve been on my list for ages.

I love my little hodgepodge collection of old books that’ve seen more time than I have and hold little pieces of whoever read them before me. I want all the weird, imperfect antique books I can get. ♥️

[matan4il]

I watched this episode I think so differently then others. Firstly maybe because I don't have a strong dislike to Buck doing it, I found it rather touching to be honest.. But here's the weird thing to me.

Connor and Eddie are opposite sides of the same coin.. Eddie wants him to be the father of his non biological child because of who he is as a person. Completely involved full stop.

Connor wants him to be the biological father to his child because of who he is. But obviously not involved

But the wacky part to me if this is playing out. Retcon!!!! Retcon at the end of S4 we know Eddie changed his will in S3 after the well. Retcon we know Buck met Connor (in the past) in Buck Begins but that was in S4. So I'm not trying to nerd out here but honest to God how much of this was planned and how will it play out as it intertwines. Especially because Eddie doesn't know yet and he's protective of Buck. But we haven't got to really see that in full display yet.

It cant mean nothing to me this storyline has been in play for awhile and we didn't grasp the importance yet. The same as Athena with her childhood best friend you know. It started out as a oh this is Athena, to oh this is a fully fledged Athena story.

Hi lovely Nonnie!

Thank you for sharing your viewing experience! ^u^ I get what you mean. As an idea, it is a lovely thing. I say this as someone who’s considered in the past being an egg donor, I mean it, I think it’s beautiful to help others like that. But at the end of the day, I also think it depends on someone’s specific type of personality, what place in life they’re at, in other words, how this donation would affect them as well and not just the recipients. Like I said in the 604 meta, I just don’t think that’s something Buck has really considered properly.

I LOVE the way you phrased the contradiction between what Connor and Eddie want. In my mind, there’s no doubt the latter is so much more significant to Buck in terms of helping him heal from his trauma of being unwanted for so long. I also think there’s a difference between what does “because of who [Buck] is” between these two men. Connor knows who Buck was. Even back then, he only knew Buck to a very shallow degree. God, in 405, when Buck started spouting random trivia, Connor couldn’t be more disinterested. If Eddie had been there? You just KNOW he would be listening to Buck with the worst case of heart eyes and the fondest smile ever. Connor does know Buck’s a good person, and he’s right of course. But Buck wears his heart so openly on his sleeve, that’s something that probably anyone who would spend just 5 minutes with him would know. I expected Connor to list more stuff (“You’re kind, you’re smart, you’re brave” Buck presumably still lived with Connor and that gang in s1, before he moved into Abby’s place, so all of this can reasonably come up), but nope, it was just the one thing. Eddie KNOWS Buck and WANTS him for ALL OF IT.

IDK if they planned this out and were gonna re-use the actor from the get go. It is possible they came up with the idea of a friend asking for a sperm donation, then looked into whether the actor for the one character who could be brought back as a “blast from the past” was available and, since he’s not that big of a star yet, they got lucky and could book him. I’m not discounting it! But once they decided to bring him in, whether it was always intended or not, they did make some meaningful choices with him already IMO. ;)

I hope you have a great day, lovely! And here is my ask tag! xoxox

[greypetrel]

omg, "no, i'm not going to give you a bite because i know you're not gonna like it. then you're going to ask me how the hell i like it, and i don't want to listen to that right now." for Aisling and Cullen?

Hello!

Thanks for asking and sorry if I’m late, my brain caught fire with the DadWolf AU… And even if this prompt is very fitting for them, I had a little difficulty contextualising it. So yeah, hope you’ll like what I came up with.

Putting an end on the “Cullen scolds Aisling because she Pocahontas her way down her horse”, and playing on the fact that the kindest people are the scariest thing ever when they get really angry.

(forgive the Italian title, the word means “Biting, cutting, piercing” said of words or satyre. And also comes from “Mordere” which means “To Bite”.)

Tis the prompt list.

(ask if you'd like some more, it's a fun list)

Mordente.

"No, I'm not going to give you a bite because I know you're not gonna like it. Then you're going to ask me how the hell I like it, and I don't want to listen to that right now."

The Inquisitor was notorious for being comprehensive and kind, always ready to treat everyone as a peer or give a hand whenever she could. She was well loved by the soldiers and the commoners, if not so much by the noblety. Nonetheless, she wasn’t foreign to rage.

Soldiers and guards that assisted in the infamous exchange between the Inquisitor and Madame de Fer still were overly cautious in never, ever pronouncing the word “pet” where Lavellan could hear, not to incur in her rage. She was cold and level-headed with prisoner that came for her judgement, but that time she had become angry for real and she had been absolutely terrifying. It had filled everyone with hope that Corypheus stood really little chances against her, but the hope was intertwined with the absolute dread of coming to the end of the large ocean of Lavellan’s patience.

Today, the shore was apparently reached, and each scout and guard on her path, who knew better, lowered their eyes and caught their breath as she not passed but marched up the stairs near the Herald’s Rest to the battlements, a deep furrow on her brow, the expression of an angry deer that’s lowering its head and stomping on the ground with its hoof, to charge at the unfortunate hunter who thought it was easy prey.

A path opened for her, automatically, as she grunted hellos and good afternoons without really looking at anyone, as if a storm cloud surrounded her where she went. She slammed the door of the tower she crossed, without really caring. A quartet of guards trailed at a safe distance behind her, as she passed and they were graced in not being the object of her fury, to whisper very quietly about the situation, pitying the unlucky recipient of the upcoming storm and wondering who they may be. Some Orlesian Comte? She turned down a proposal from Grand-Duke Gaspard, didn’t she? Madame de Fer again? Or maybe it was poor Jim? Yes, they convened, it must be Jim, he always manages to irritate the Commander, and him and the Inquisitor are together, aren’t they?

The four tiptoed forward, trying to look very unassuming and failing miserably as they exited from the door of the tower the Inquisitor just came out from, casting glances to her in a very awed curiosity. So concentrated they were, that they all jumped, scared when someone behind them asked.

“What’s going on, guys?”

The voice was too loud, and the four turned abruptly, shushing the newcomer with angry hisses. It was, of course, Jim, fresh as ever, his spear left abandoned against the wall.

“Shush! Can’t you see the Inquisitor is angr-”

“Wait, but if he is here…”

“Then who-”

The door of the Commander’s door slammed behind Lavellan, and as the five guards turned to look at is, puzzled and mouth opened in big Os. Rushing closer to the tower, they heard the yelling starting from the inside.

They got immediately back and started to theorise.

The Commander?

Skyhold buzzed with at least ten new rumours, that evening.

---

“Seriously, Cullen, you have to stop doing it!”

“I would if you showed some more respect and care for your own life!”

“It’s horse-riding, I’m not throwing myself at Corypheus in my underthings!”

“It’s not horse-riding, it’s playing acrobat on a galloping stallion with a notorious temper!”

“Little Brother is perfectly fine, he hasn’t bucked me off saddle once in months!”

“It proves my point! You’re being reckless, if you don’t care for your own well-being, someone will have to!”

Aisling was left without words, snorting in outrage as she took a step back and looked at him as if he just told her donkeys can fly without her and Dorian “helping” them and trying to make them levitate. Which they had actually tried the other week in a moment of boredom, with thankfully failing results.

“Why is everything a fucking game of chess with you?!” She asked, irated.

It was, indeed, extremely rare to see her angry or riled up. She hasn’t been with Mayor Dedrick, she hasn’t been with any of the people she judged, even if she confessed to him that she absolutely despised Florianne and it was clear as day that her opinion of Erimond was even worse. The anger at Gaspard had been not this deep, had not brought her to raise her voice. She ranted and tossed a pillow down a balcony, and she was good to go.  Cullen, in all honesty, couldn’t understand why this of all topics and behaviours pushed on her buttons so much. Taking care she was safe was his job, and she told him she loved him, so?

“It is because you’re not making any sense! Why being so angry at me just because I care about you?” He replied, a little calmer but still glaring at her. Just a little. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

He scoffed, almost fuming from his ears as he left an equally angry, for once, Aisling to stand in the middle of his office and marched to his desk, fumbling through his papers to look for the report he’s been working on. She would not have it, tho, and marched right on his heels, after a minute of staring at him silently.

“The fuck you are. We’re discussing and I am making sense. I know you love me and you worry about me and I’m really grateful for it, it makes me so happy. But fuck, Cullen, I’m not a child, I’m not made of glass, you have to fucking stop treating me like I am.”

She explained, slamming both hands on his desk as far as she could reach leaning over it, bending a little down to force him to look at her in the eyes, both palms blocking stacks of paper.

“I’m most evidently not treating you like a child, Aisling.”

“You are!” She remarked, voice raising again, groaning loudly.

She pushed herself back from the desk and started to pace, gesticulating wildly.

“Whenever I go to the stable and mount, there’s you, looming over me from the stairs and staring with that look. Don’t think I don’t notice! It’s the same look you have for unruly recruits!”

“That’s maybe because you are unruly! What was that, before, cartwheeling on the horse’s neck? Why would you think it’s useful to learn to do that??”

“Because-”

“-You could dodge more easily on horseback, yes, yes, you told me a thousand times!” He finished her sentence, voice raising too as he circled back around is desk and reached her, stopping her pacing by placing both hands on her shoulders. Maybe touching would have told her more than his tongue could. “You can cast barriers, Maker’s Breath! I saw you! Dancing the marigold on horseback is risky and reckless and you scare me shitless that you’re gonna fall badly one day and break your neck! And then what-”

“I know what I’m doing.” She argued, outraged, moving her hands up to bat his arms away from her and taking a step back. Spine straight, pride burning in her eyes. “I need guidance with politics and warfare because it’s all new, but on magic and riding I know what I’m doing, Cullen, believe it or not. I’ve been riding my whole life, I just follow methods and a technique that you’re not familiar with. But I am!”

She pointed out, flapping her arms on her sides. He tried to speak again, but she didn’t let him, speaking faster and louder until words died on his lips.

“No. You will let me finish. I know my shit, I am good at it, I am happy that you worry and care for me, really! I am and thank you for it, but this is getting ridiculous and I’m only doing worse because I’m stressed about you not trusting that I am competent and constantly watching me like… Like… Like a fucking vulture!”

They stood there, looking at each other for a minute, each glaring at the other, Commander and Inquisitor, each waiting for the other to say something, lower eyes, give up a tid-bit of space to the other. Unluckily, they were both stubborn people, and if there was one thing Aisling Lavellan did not do was stepping back when her pride was punctured enough for her to recognise some merit to herself, and not dismiss her ability as “I could be better” or “I’m just mimicking someone”. Cullen knew from experience. And he also knew that she was right, that she knew her own. He knew because he had spoken with Dennet about it, and the horsemaster had confirmed that all inexperience she had was dued of being used to hallas and not horses, but in his words: “She was born on a saddle, I’d bet my left toes on it.”.

And, if he had to admit it to himself, under worry and wounded pride of his own, she was beautiful like that. In full control, sure of herself, determination and pride shining in her green eyes. She was short -all good jockeys were, she would jest- and not imposing, but right now, as in every moment when she forgot her doubts and fears, she was huge and beautiful and a force to be reckoned with, and he couldn’t believe she chose him, of all people. Worry gnawed at his throat if he just imagined her again cartwheeling on the neck of her horse in a gallop, but…

“…A vulture?”

“Yes. Pale head, a big ruffle on their necks, body dark, glaring at people.”

He was still angry and didn’t want to laugh, but he couldn’t help snorting through his nose, stepping forward toward her. It was lunchtime anyway, they had time if the guards hadn’t heard them yelling and realised they were not to be disturbed. Hopefully, maybe someone would have informed Jim as well. He dared not hope so much, but…

“I do trust you.” He told her, very seriously and looking at her right in the eyes. “But I read your reports, and you have a tendency for putting in constant danger, and I’m worried sick about you, all the time.” He took another step towards her, entering into her space, a little too close for a professional relationship, but their relationship hasn’t been strictly professional for a while. “I haven’t wanted anything in so long, and I’m terrified of losing you.”

“You’re not losing me to a horse.” She replied. “That I can promise.”

The rest was left unsaid. They both knew her life was at stake, and she couldn’t exactly promise anything more than that. She had no certainty and had come close to death one too many times to fake it. Right now, tho, still firey from emotion and eyes shining in tears he knew would have come, she took the step that separated them and slipped her hands up to close around his face, bringing him down for a kiss as she stood on tiptoes. It was intense and urgent and full of that fire that still burned and made her raise her voice. She hummed, content, when he kissed her back with the same passion, and it was also her the one that prodded at him to deepen the kiss. Cullen didn’t realise until his back was against the wall that she’s been pushing him back. He huffed, surprised, and she broke the kiss to trail more on his nose, jaw and down his neck, a hand slipping down to push on his torso, pinning him in place, the other hugging his neck.

“You have me if you want me. But stop treating me like I’m a damsel in distress. I’m serious.” She whispered breathlessly against his neck, between kisses.

“I’m sorry.” He told her. He didn’t want to give in first or to give in at all, but it was hard to think with her pressing against him, mouthing at his neck that way, and taking control. Moreover, he knew better, outside fears and anxiety, than considering her as a person who needed protection or saving or deserved being locked up in a tower, as much as he wanted to keep her safe and unharmed from the whole world if needed. So, he gulped down his pride, and decided that his hands on her hips, squeezing, were compensation enough. There were far worse options to conclude an argument.

He maybe shouldn’t have found making out after yelling at each other and being the one to be lead into it so enticing as he did, but he did and his head felt deliciously light, he was sure his ears were cherry red. He hoped that it was lunchtime for real, and that no one would have barged in right now, because he frankly didn’t want her to stop, not that she seemed to be have any intention of doing it.

And suddenly, as he hugged her closer, slipped one hand on her backside and she hummed in pleasure, he felt not soft lips on his neck, but the bare glimpse of teeth, right on his pulse point. He snapped his eyes open, a shiver running down his spine and causing goosebumps. But as fleeting as the sensation was, so quick he had not the time to consider if he liked it or not, she hissed and pushed herself away, flushed but still frowning at him.

“No.” She declared.

“What?” He asked, puzzled.

“No, I'm not going to give you a bite, because I know you're not gonna like it.” She continued, in the same grumpy tone.

Cullen stared, mouth agape, struggling to follow her line of thought. They never discussed biting, sure, but he wasn’t aware he did anything to communicate he wasn’t liking it… Or did he? She hadn’t taken any step back from his embrace, tho.

“You’re not gonna like it.” She argued, not phased in the least by how he was staring at her with the lost expression of a fish caught on a hook. “And then you're going to ask me how the void I like it, and I don't want to listen to that right now.”

“You’re quarrelling because you don’t want to quarrel again?” He asked the clarification, and he knew it was out of the mood and pointless, but he had to. Sometimes he was starkly reminded that her brain ran even faster than her goddamn horse.

“Shut up.” She hissed, coming right back to where she was but two minutes before.

He did shut up, as he was told, for the rest of lunchbreak, and was too occupied in other more pleasurable things to notice that no guard or scout came knocking or entering in his office. It was no luck, really, but a quick round of voices saying the Inquisitor was telling the Commander off, and that most likely the preceding rumours about them were all wrong, as it was partially confirmed by the noticeable new absence of an angry Commander in the stables in the upcoming days.

“You know, Cullen.” Aisling told him, some days later when she noticed that scouts looked at her with fearful respect and there was no more snickering when they met together in public.

“Mh?”

“We should quarrel more often.”

“Should we.” He asked, not convinced.

“Yes. Privacy is nice. What could we quarrel about, tho?”

“I don’t know.” He chuckled, hugging her closer and pressing a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m sure you’ll find some argument with enough… Bite to it.”

She squatted at his chest, playfully, as she laughed.

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Eden's remembrance vessel also states that she first met Elysia at the MOTH base after being rescued

Referencing this reblog thread

Exactly! Looks like a good old retcon to me.

@tea-cat-arts come see this stuff. Scroll all the way down for the conclusion.

Elysia: About Eden

Elysia: Eden is like a sister to me. We were best friends before she became a MANTIS. Mei: Seems like you said the same thing about someone else. Elysia: Did I? I can’t recall. Elysia: But Eden is different. We’re closer than the others. Elysia: She was a victim of the 7th Honkai Eruption. Mei: Hmm? Elysia: On that day, she witnessed her world crumbling in blood and fire. Elysia: But she lived, joined the MOTHs, and became a MANTIS. Elysia: The flames that scorched the earth could not reach the stars above. She’s destined to shine brightly. Elysia: Whether on the stage or in this dying world.

Eden: About Myself

Mei: Eden, can I ask you a question? Eden: Sure, my friend. Mei: I don’t understand why you would join the MOTHs and become a MANTIS. Mei: It’s hard for me to connect this decision with your background. Eden: You’re right. I didn’t know I’d set out on this path either. Eden: I only learned of the existence of the MOTHs after the great fire in Australia. Eden: I lost everything and was taken to their base as one of the survivors. Eden: There I received treatment and support for a long time, and I got to know some of the MOTHs soldiers. Mei: That’s when you met Elysia, right? Eden: Yes, she was the first friend I made there. The first one that asked me to join them. Eden: And I didn’t turn her down. Mei: …Why? Eden: Because I realized something. Eden: The singer Eden died that day in the fire, along with the rest of the old world. Her starlight had gone out. Eden: But as a MOTH, Eden could still shine bright in the world. Eden: While I’m still alive, I’ll live my life to the fullest til the last moment - that’s what I told myself. Eden: So I became a MOTH and participated in the MANTIS program. Mei: …Impressive. Eden: Maybe. Even Ellie was shocked when she learned I was to become a MANTIS. Mei: Hard to imagine someone would accept the surgery voluntarily. Eden: But I couldn’t allow myself to stand idle. I couldn’t watch the light of Eden die. Eden: So before undergoing the surgery, I asked her if I could choose the Honkai Beast to be used for Fusion myself. Mei: You could do that? Eden: No, normally you couldn’t. Eden: The surgery had to factor in the recipient’s physical attributes and how they matched the Honkai Beast genes. Eden: But if there were multiple matches… Ellie said the doctor would give me a choice. Mei: So.. what did you choose? Eden: I said to her: “if there’s a choice.” Eden: “Choose the most dazzling one for me.”

This contradicts the theory that the concert could have been shown to the MOTHs. Eden didn't know that they existed! Elysia in ER points out that she knew Eden before she became a MANTIS, but further retelling specifies that she met Eden after the fire, but before Eden became a MOTH— this is further supported by Eden's recollection A New Star. So the original script has them meet post-fire, when Elysia has been a soldier for five eruptions.

Now when we look at the latest information that was given to us, chapter 31:

Strange Girl: Whoa! Is that the restaurant with a never-ending wait list? Wouldn’t it be too much trouble to bring me along? Eden: Not at all. They always save two seats just for me. Eden: One day that might change, but we should still be good… for tonight at least. Strange Girl: That sounds… awesome! Of course, I’d love to go! Strange Girl: But… after all this talking, I realize I haven’t even introduced myself. The young girl looked back, smiling at Eden. The moonlight reflected silently on her face. Elysia: My name is Elysia, the symbol of paradise… and you?

This is clearly meant to be Eden and Elysia's first meeting, as they introduce themselves to one another. Eden is also still doing shows without second thoughts, which she seems to have given up after the fire, so this scene had to happen before the disaster.

Eden: I’m Ellie’s friend who’s kept her company for the longest time.

Eden claims to have met Elysia first. This means this scene has to have happened prior to Elysia joining the MOTHs, because she met Mobius pretty much right away, and Kevin a few months later and so on, long before the 7th eruption.

There's a contradiction. ER came first, so Chapter 31 is the "latest" canon, which means it's what the story acknowledges (and in-story it's also information that's less likely to have been faked, as the scene is internally recalled by Eden while anyone can lie while talking to Mei.)

Conclusion

They retconned the fuck out of Eden and Elysia's relationship to make it more special.

[none-prob]

I write about a character per day

Day 18: Luz Noceda

Not my last essay posts, I saved 2 special characters for last.

Gonna get this out of the way first. My favourite Luz ship? Not Lumity, Lunter, Willuz. It's Luney (Luz x Viney) platonically. We cool? Cool.

How far can I talk about the biggest protagonist and main character of the show? I don't know, but it's already in the draft, so going with the flow, just like Luz, it is.

I think one of the aspects of Luz that is very heavily overlooked, is that she is really good at communicating, but sometimes really bad at communicating at the same time. Let me explain.

No matter how difference the themes of different cartoons and shows are, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Milo Murphy's Law (I haven't watched Amphibia), no matter how you think of it, fighting is not the main theme. Say all you want, you can't change my mind on it. Fighting doesn't result in you gaining more allies, it only get rid of them. Communication. Is. The. Key. If you can get someone who's on the other side or indecisive to your side without violence, it's incredibly impressive.

Adventures are where allies understand each other better, the one main fight doesn't matter if the allies still can't align. I didn't pull this out of nowhere, remember when Stan and Ford almost got everyone harmed because they can't agree on a grammar mistake, or Steven got his dad kidnapped because Garnet doesn't want to tell. Communication doesn't mean "just talk it out". Communication means an unconditional negotiation that you gain the ally without the risk of them being your enemy again, get rid of the ill-gotten purpose of them being your enemy. How bad was Luz's miscommunication? Well...that may be a really long list, from running away from her mom, almost got her and Amity sowed in a book, and so on and so on.

Luz despite all that bad communication, she still managed to fix everything and get along well with everyone, by...communication. I know, too many times, sorry not sorry. Bad communications lead to division, good communications result in better understanding and sensibility. Communication is the key of change. Luz did not get a cute purple hair girlfriend out of nowhere, so much communication happened. The times Luz and Amity on the brink of collapse because Luz refused to opening up to Amity, but then when she opened up they just got even closer (I like Lumity, just not my all time favourite). Luz changed Amity so drastically we sometimes forgot how much of a brat Amity was in Season 1.

I'm just going through all the recipients of Luz's sensibility. Starting with Camila. Camila and Luz had a massive rift in the beginning, and Luz being really anxious towards her mom? No problem, Luz just need to run away to realize Camila really loved her and wanted things to get better for them. Seriously that scene when Camila holding Luz before she got pulled away made me cry a bit. Even got a cool new snakeshifter by opening up to Camila. Both Camila and Luz were direct victims of an ableist society. Camila hided away her past, Luz tried escapism. But only when they decided to opening up to the other is when they finally found each other. The neurodivergent representation in the show is quite impressive, and I'm giving it where it deserves.

You might think you can't just magically get a right hand man of an imperial overlord on your side by just communicating, but Luz did. Luz recognized the low point of Hunter, and decided to get them to their side. Luz helped Hunter realizing what Belos really is, slowly but surely it made Hunter doubting what he's doing, and finally get him to his side, even called him a brother to her. From trucing against a common enemy, to actually worked together. The hardest part which is shifting Hunter away from Belos' side, she had done, and Hexside was there to finally get Hunter to her side.

Even her allies from the beginning got a lot better with her. Collector said "she's cold-hearted but actually cares a lot". Who made her care a lot? Luz. Luz helped her find her purpose. Luz is her purpose. Every time Luz disagreed with Eda, she got herself into trouble. But every time like that, Eda understood Luz more and more. Luz's desire to live in the Isles and go on adventure had beaten minor disagreements with her new mom. Or Willow, who got so much more confident ever since Luz been around. Gus started getting the respect he deserves by hanging with Luz.

And finally let's get to the one that Luz's enemy that she can't get through, Belos. I'm going to repeat this once again, redemption and changes must come from both side. No matter how much convincing and talking, it wouldn't work if the other side aren't desire to change. Belos didn't see where he did wrong, nor was he wanting to change either. No more comparing The Owl House with Steven Universe or any other cartoons or I'll block you on sight. I do find it funny that the end of each season was Luz tricking Belos into disadvantage. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me thrice, just skill issue at that point.

Luz Noceda is a great protagonist. Hero of the Isles. One with a hella cool Titan form, 2 moms, 1 girlfriend, and finally found herself where she belongs and being understood. I'll miss her a lot, 15 minutes of her Titan form is precious.

[coffeedrgn87]

Blurbs On Writing (2022 Edition)

I had this idea for a little thought compilation about my writing a while back, but I held back, unsure whether I wanted to write it all down. If I am honest, the thought of sharing something personal scared me, and still does. Today, I decided that I do want to look back on my writing exploits over the past year and add my observations. These will be at random, and I'll note them down as they come into my head. You can find the list after the break.

I enjoy writing for someone (I like the challenge), and teasing the recipient with excerpts or talking about their idea with them makes me so happy. There's something special about sharing a piece of my writing with someone or dedicating it to a particular person. Unfortunately, I don't get to do this nearly enough, and my anxiety makes it difficult to reach out to people. Occasionally, I'll jump over my shadow and ask, but it takes a lot of effort, and most of the time, I do not have the energy.

I guess not many people like reading unfinished or WIP multi-chapter things, and I understand why it doesn't work for some folx, but I've discovered that I love writing this way. It's hard for me to withdraw into a corner, quietly work on something long, and only share it once it's completely done. I don't know how other writers feel about creating their work and/or sharing it as they go, but my personal perception is that even if an author posts a chapter a week or every other day, the work is usually already finished. I may be entirely mistaken, so don't consider this opinion etched in stone. For me, writing a chapter and sharing it is thrilling. The anticipation of being able to share an update, the readers' excitement, and potential interaction via comments/messages. I thrive on that. It often lets me incorporate ideas, tweak future chapters slightly, or sometimes change course entirely.

I absolutely adore one-word prompts. There's something magical about building a short story around a prompt. Sometimes the story is centred around the prompt; other times, it's just a support, an aid. Whichever it is, it's always exciting. I particularly enjoy noun prompts, though I don't limit myself in that regard. The way these tiny prompts spark an idea is magical, but it's also frustrating when you stare at a prompt and draw a complete blank. Especially when that uninspiring prompt is part of a challenge.

Describing scenes, particularly outdoor scenes such as a forest, a meadow, a cave, or a beach (to name but a few), is such fun. I like painting a pretty picture, going into detail about what's happening, what can be seen, how things smell, what they look like... It's not been a big focus for me before, but in 2022 I really made it my priority, and I feel it's elevated my writing. I've had a few lovely comments from readers who enjoyed it, so I guess I'm on the right track.

Smells and tastes are a delight to describe, and I first dipped my toes into making that a priority when I took part in a fest in 2020, but it took time for me to turn it into a habit. My Google search has since learnt that I like to research these things. Thrilling. Thank you, Google, my trusted research partner.

If I can make it happen, I like it when my characters spent time in the kitchen. Growing up, a lot of life happened in our kitchen (mainly because my dad was a kitchen person, but it's also my inner cat, associating the kitchen with warmth, chatter, and coffee, which awakens the dragon in me), and that shows in my writing. I think I did it unconsciously until I, at one point, added the tag "life happens in the kitchen" to one of my fics on AO3, and now writing scenes in the kitchen has become a staple of mine.

I never thought I might enjoy writing sprints with other people, but for a brief period, I got to try this and found it delightful. It tickled my competitive side. Perhaps I'll dip my toes into that again at some point...we'll see.

I've gotten much better at showing rather than telling how a character feels, and it's become such a joy to add in all those little descriptors that my readers can hopefully identify with when they read my works.

Eyes seem to be something I focus a lot on when describing a person. Eyes are stunning, and I truly enjoy describing them, especially the colour and how it makes the other person feel. Knowing that one of my characters is smiling or laughing or just genuinely happy makes me happy, and I always quietly hope that the same applies to my readers.

I'm no longer all that fussed about writing super-detailed sex scenes. I go there, but in recent months I've found that stripping away some of the details of the actual "this goes there in this way" and replacing it with feelings or a character's reaction gives me much more joy. Perhaps it's loosely related to a recent discovery I made about myself, or perhaps it's just my writing evolving, but I find this interesting. We'll see where this goes. One thing that I'm very sure about, though, is that my love for smut will always burn brightly.

Pets or animals in general. I love including a pet or an animal as a character, especially when I can give them an attitude, a quirk, or something that makes the pet or animal a delight to read. I've invented a few furry/feathery/scaly companions over the past year, and it's something I want to focus on even more. I'd be happy to have 50K of one character + a menagerie of animals, and while I don't know how my readers would feel about that, a writer can dream, can they not?

I don't especially feel like I'm part of my favourite fandoms. This might be a sad revelation, but it's true. While I thrive on making new connections and responding to messages/comments (after all, I am a chatterbug), I sadly am not the kind of person to reach out to people. It takes me forever to decide to take the plunge, and my anxiety always wreaks havoc on every attempt. I no longer feel confident enough to make the first move. I overthink, worry, and convince myself that there isn't a space for me. On a few occasions, it's made me want to stop writing, but I have since learnt not to give in to that impulse. My writing is all mine. It's something I would never give up, not for anyone. Still, not having that sense of belonging makes it hard to connect. I tried for a while, but I just don't have that much strength (for personal reasons, I won't elaborate any further).

Lastly, (and to end this on a positive note) I have learnt not to compare myself to other writers, whether they've been published or whether they're fanfic writers whose works I gobble up like coffee. Occasionally, the feeling still creeps in, but for the most part, I manage to ignore it. To continue to grow as a writer, I need to be able to appreciate without feeling like reading a gorgeous piece of writing makes me want to give up on my own writing. Instead, I allow other works to push me towards doing better.