#my tags on ao3 are a lot more explanatory than here sorry about that

[hecatesbroom]

How I organise my (fic) writing in Notion

@this-geek wondered how I organised my works in Notion, and considering I'm nothing if not always happy to ramble about anything concerning lists and sorting my various things, here we are ;) thanks for giving me an excuse to talk about this haha

Under the cut because I have unfortunately rambled quite a bit (sorry!)

Okay so first off: I really only use Notion for my fic writing (I prefer to work on original projects in physical notebooks or Word, for reasons unknown to even me) and I only keep my first drafts in here. I move on to Google Docs for second drafts (again, who knows why I do this? I sure don't!) Anyway, onto the organisation:

This is what my main page looks like! I have some fancy sidebars I never really use, the to do list is horribly outdated, and I haven't updated that quote (from one of my favourite book series: The Locked Tomb) in ages, but I still think it looks nice!

The thing this is mainly about, though, is the part in the middle that says "all fics". This is what Notion calls a database. It's basically one gigantic collection of pages (in my case: fics) that you can add tags to and display in various different ways. I prefer gallery view because it allows me to add a picture to the overview if I want to. I used to do this for my Locked Tomb fics and it looked pretty fun:

The thing is that it's also a lot of work to find pictures to match your fics (and nowadays I'm more focused on writing than all the thing surrounding it) so my Golden Girls overview looks more like this! I still like the gallery view because it gives you a little preview of every wip :)

As you can see, there's lots of different tags under the titles. The stuff you see in this view is a quick overview (mostly to help with sorting, so all my posted wips line up, and the rest shows up according to which state of unfinishedness they're currently in)

When you click any fic in this view, you'll be taken to the actual fic, and its complete overview of tags & info! I like to keep track of a lot of things (when I remember to, anyway). Here's a little overview for the things I tracked for the finish line :)

Created: shows me the date I started the document (and therefore the fic). Very useful! I love this feature a lot

Fandom: is mainly there for organisation purposes! I set my gallery view to toggle per fandom, so it's all sorted into neat little sections thanks to this tag

Characters: pretty self explanatory

Type: I've got several categories here: "one-shot", "multi-chapter", "drabble", "ficlet", and (reserved for one AU in particular) "i honestly don't know anymore"

Status: again, there's quite a few options for this one: "plotting", "writing draft 1", "1st draft", "2nd draft", "finished", "posted", "hiatus" and "abandoned" (which I rarely use)

Quick summary: is where I play around with my ao3 summary whenever I'm bored and don't really feel like writing

Draft 1 wc: I usually just put the final word count for the first draft there, unless I remember to track individual writing sessions (in which case I add those word counts as well, like in the example above, because I love looking back on the process!)

Draft 2 wc: I tend to completely retype a fic into my google docs for the second draft. Once I've done that I put the end result into my Notion doc

Finished wc: after I've reread and edited my 2nd draft, and possibly managed to have it all get a little out of hand (like you can see in that doubled word count for the finish line, lol) I put the finished word count here!

WC goal: is just a fun way to see what my initial idea was for the fic (I try to set a goal when I've got a general idea of what I want the work to look like, and always end up exceeding it)

The rest of it is just my writing, basically! Scroll down from there and you get the body for the fic :)

I hope this was somewhat helpful! I'm not a pro at Notion by any means, but if you have any questions or need some help, feel free to ask! I'm happy to try to help out!

[nnegan13]

lil gift for paige (@air-bison-yip-yip) ily girl 

textfic, on ao3 here 

set in college!AU, if everyone feels kinda OOC its cuz I personally feel like people are different when they’re texting than when they’re interacting irl so sorry if it feels off lmao it’s still fun if you overlook that part aha 

also the formatting is different bc if I did it the same way I usually do texts in fic this would’ve been So Much Harder 

anyways enjoy!!! 

— 

Martino Rametta to entirely dead inside: head count please 

Eva Brighi: sadly, awake 

Sana Allagui: silvia and fede are still sleeping 

Luchino: Marti Elia says that if you don’t stop turning the lights on and off he’s going to fucking kill you

Luchino: and gio and Sofia are missing 

Eva Brighi: Sofia? 

Sana Allagui: nice 

Martino Rametta: nico’s with me 

Martino Rametta: eyes on ele? 

Eva Brighi: bathroom 

Sana Allagui: someone go tell her not to puke too hard cause I had to clean up last time and I don’t wanna do that again

Eva Brighi: she says fuck you 

Sana Allagui: delightful

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: heard you had quite the night 

Eleonora Sava: remind me to never do college again 

Edoardo Incanti: i thought you liked all the higher education shit 

Edoardo Incanti: ya know 

Edoardo Incanti: learning things so you can make ur mark on the world 

Edoardo Incanti: all that sentimental shit 

Eleonora Sava: fuck sentiment 

Eleonora Sava: can you call the police on a university? the school’s trying to kill me 

— 

Giovanni Garau to Eva Brighi: what do you want for breakfast 

Eva Brighi: you’re an angel 

Eva Brighi: but it’s almost noon just come back we’re getting lunch 

— 

Luchino to fede text when u wake up we went to get pizza: turns out I was wrong gio and Sofia weren’t missing 

Luchino: just gio 

Luchino: does anyone actually remember Sofia leaving the party last night? 

Luchino: anyways gio’s back 

Luchino: chicco and edo say they’ll be here in five 

Eva Brighi: shit we’ve left 

Luchino: you did? 

Elia Santini: do you pay attention to anything? 

Elia Santini: anything at all 

Elia Santini: sofia didn’t even come last night ffs 

Elia Santini: they fucking changed the name of the chat dude 

— 

Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: when ur done we’re downstairs 

Sana Allagui: please hurry up some of us are starving 

Eleonora Sava: why did you let me drink so much ur supposed to stop this stuff 

Sana Allagui: ur very persuasive when you want to be  

Sana Allagui: are you hurrying or are you just ignoring me now 

Sana Allagui: I’m sending edo to get you 

— 

Sana Allagui to Edoardo Incanti: how long does it take to wrangle your girlfriend 

Edoardo Incanti: not my girlfriend 

Edoardo Incanti: and don’t fucking say stuff like that you’ll give me ideas 

Sana Allagui: so she’s as slow at getting with you as she is at getting dressed? 

Edoardo Incanti: fuck off 

Sana Allagui: I’m hungry, charms 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Fede Canegallo: when are you taking ur test 

Fede Canegallo: why 

Fede Canegallo: need me out of the apartment or smth? 

Fede Canegallo: miss sava coming over? 

Edoardo Incanti: dick 

Edoardo Incanti: i guess you aren’t coming to pizza then  

Fede Canegallo: you don’t even care 

Fede Canegallo: you can just take ele now 

Edoardo Incanti: there’s nine other people with us 

Fede Canegallo: you’d still get down then n there if you were given the chance  

— 

Eva Brighi to Fede Canegallo: edo says he’s disowning you 

Eva Brighi: what toppings do you like on ur pizza 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: did i leave my shit at yours 

Eleonora Sava: please say yes 

Giovanni Garau: yeah its here 

Giovanni Garau: [pic] 

Eleonora Sava: blessings from above 

Eleonora Sava: are you joining us or no? 

Eleonora Sava: Eva says to send you the tongue emoji but I’m not feeling nasty today 

Eleonora Sava: she’d send you one herself but she’s got pizza grease on her fingers and doesn’t want to get her phone dirty 

Giovanni Garau: tell her that’s sexy of her 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: it’s rude to text at the table 

Eleonora Sava: desperate times, mr. hypocrite 

Edoardo Incanti: who’s getting ur table manners so wonky 

Eleonora Sava: wouldn’t you like to know 

Edoardo Incanti: i would, yes 

Eleonora Sava: ur no fun 

Eleonora Sava: just gio, I left my stuff at his this morning

Eleonora Sava: and I’m worried that if I go back to get it I’ll be roped into another midterms drinking game like last night 

Eleonora Sava: he’s not exactly being the most helpful right now 

Edoardo Incanti: want me to get them for you? 

Eleonora Sava: my knight in shining armor 

Eleonora Sava: don’t you have your own midterms to studying for? I don’t want to take time away from that 

Edoardo Incanti: its nbd 

Edoardo Incanti: how bout this 

Edoardo Incanti: I’ll get ur books and you come study at mine and make sure I actually get shit done instead of playing fifa all night 

Eleonora Sava: deal

Eleonora Sava: wait if I rat you out for playing video games instead of joining us last night can we still do that or no  

— 

Eva Brighi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @chicco @edo @fede ur all the WORST 

Eva Brighi: fifa instead of drinks? 

Eva Brighi: I’m appalled I really am 

Edoardo Incanti: who knew appalled was even in ur vocabulary 

Edoardo Incanti: and why are you texting about this we’re all here 

Eva Brighi: fede isn’t and I want to express my anger at all 3 of you at the same time 

Chicco Rodi: when fifa calls it calls 

Federico Canegallo: doesn’t make it sound better chicco 

Federico Canegallo: nd some of us like having working brains to get through midterms with 

Eva Brighi: who are you and what have you done with fede 

Federico Canegallo: fuck off Eva

Edoardo Incanti: its true high school fede would be ashamed 

Elia Santini: last week fede would be ashamed 

Elia Santini: I’m ashamed 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: eva’s reading my texts over my shoulder I’m sorry 

Eleonora Sava: please let me study at urs they haven’t killed you yet 

Eleonora Sava: I will spam you with pleases until you say yes 

Edoardo Incanti: are you done eating 

Edoardo Incanti: lets just go now 

— 

Sana Allagui to we’ve reached 40 days and 40 nights in relationships wilderness ladies and germs: barrage of obnoxious texts? 

Silvia Mirabella: they’re leaving to go study 

Silvia Mirabella: both of them are too straight laced to actually think of doing otherwise 

Silvia Mirabella: leave ‘em be 

Sana Allagui: they left pizza early 

Sana Allagui: and now we only have one car to get back 

Sana Allagui: chicco’s not going to let me DJ so what’s even the point anymore 

Sana Allagui: it’s what they deserve

Chicco Rodi: when did I say that 

Giovanni Garau: i’m coming n I’m bringing my car don’t get ur panties in a twist 

Sana Allagui: stop thinking about my panties gio 

Giovanni Garau: ffs 

Elia Santini: Sana i’m behind you 

Sana Allagui: many thanks 

Federico Canegallo: I’ve filled my obnoxious quota earlier I’m too tired to do anything else 

Martino Rametta renamed the group what happened to having a working brain fede? 

Eva Brighi: Marti you shit 

Eva Brighi renamed the group we’ve made it to 40 days and 40 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs 

Eva Brighi: literally the only established rule of this chat is that we only change the name to keep track of the days 

Martino Rametta: this is exhausting 

— 

Chicco Rodi to Rocco Martucci: do you have the chat muted

Rocco Martucci: sorry who is this? 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Eva Brighi: Eva 

Eleonora Sava: Eva I’m struggling 

Eva Brighi: you left pizza early to go study with edo I am not speaking to you 

Eleonora Sava: evaaaaaa 

— 

Eva Brighi removed Eleonora Sava from Le MAT&T 

Eva Brighi: ele WILL try to thirst text you today do not answer her 

Eva Brighi added Eleonora Sava to Le MAT&T 

Eleonora Sava: sorry what the fuck was that for

Silvia Mirabella: no you don’t get to protest you’ve abandoned us 

Silvia Mirabella: go study miss sava I’m disappointed in you, frankly

— 

Eleonora Sava to Federica Caciotti: are you guys at gio’s 

Eleonora Sava: Fede? 

—

Federico Canegallo to Giovanni Garau: how’s it going over there 

Giovanni Garau: we don’t have dumb sticks up our asses and aren’t studying so it’s going well 

Federico Canegallo: Eva if I wanted to talk to you I would’ve texted you 

Federico Canegallo: give gio the phone 

— 

Eva Brighi to Federico Canegallo: fuck you 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Sana Allagui: are you guys at gio’s 

Sana Allagui: ERROR 404: The person you are trying to reach is not available. Check your connection and try again later. 

— 

Sana Allagui to Le MAT&T: [screenshot] 

Sana Allagui: and here we have the rare procrastinating ele sava in her natural habitat 

Eva Brighi: what a beautiful creature 

Federica Caciotti: truly moving to see such majesty in nature 

Silvia Mirabella: i can’t believe you’ve captured her on record 

Eleonora Sava: I know you’re all sitting in the same room laughing at each other 

Eleonora Sava: I’m never speaking to you again

—

Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: so are you guys still studying 

Federico Canegallo: or are you fucking now

Federico Canegallo: because if you’re fucking I’m not gonna come home 

Edoardo Incanti: 1. you’re a piece of shit 

Edoardi Incanti: 2. did you text me thinking that I would respond if we were fucking? 

Federico Canegallo: I mean its been a couple hours since I left so I was just making sure it was cool to come back 

Federico Canegallo: typically people don’t fuck for entire afternoons on end so 

Edoardo Incanti: please stop saying we’re fucking 

Federico Canegallo: so you’re not? 

Edoardo Incanti: i’m not going to answer that  

Edoardo Incanti: go to gio’s tho she’s moved past procrastinating and gets annoyed if you interrupt her 

—

Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: nico is wondering if we can use your pasta 

Eleonora Sava: will you be following a recipe 

Martino Rametta: i’m not gonna lie to you that was an ask permission after the fact kind of thing 

Martino Rametta: it is edible tho if you want to have some when you get home 

Martino Rametta: when will that be? 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: what are you doing for dinner 

Edoardo Incanti: i think talking in person about this isn’t violating the rules 

Eleonora Sava: it is 

Eleonora Sava: I can text and study at the same time and therefore I’m still studying and therefore we have to stay in separate rooms 

Edoardo Incanti: you can be really obnoxious sometimes 

Eleonora Sava: it’s a talent 

Eleonora Sava: welcome to studying with me 

Edoardo Incanti: ok you’re getting crabby 

Eleonora Sava: rude 

Edoardo Incanti: we’re officially done studying for the moment 

Eleonora Sava: ok official means two party consent 

Eleonora Sava: I did not consent to stop studying 

Edoardo Incanti: acknowledged and overruled 

Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming to you don’t flip ur shit 

— 

Chicco Rodi to someone get milk I haven’t been able to eat cereal in four days and i’m dying: [pic] 

Chicco Rodi: Spotted! Edoardo Incanti out getting saucy with Eleonora Sava when they both said they’d be studying. Maybe they can use their combined genius to turn their ‘break’ into a ‘date.’ xoxo Gossip Girl 

Edoardo Incanti: fuck off man 

Federico Canegallo: edo all you have to do to make this stop 

Federico Canegallo: is stop being a fucking coward and tell her how you feel  

— 

Chicco Rodi to Eva Brighi: edo and ele are at that greek stand by the conservatory 

Eva Brighi: how dare they get gyros without me 

Eva Brighi: what are you doing there 

Chicco Rodi: not getting gyros bc now I have to spy on them 

Eva Brighi: unfortunate 

Chicco Rodi: the things I do for them 

Eva Brighi: what, exactly, are you doing for them 

Chicco Rodi: ur getting too hung up on the details 

—

Elia Santini to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks tonight? 

Martino Rametta: some of us value our livers 

Eleonora Sava: and our grades 

Eva Brighi: if you value ur grades so much 

Eleonora Sava: don’t say it 

Eva Brighi: why aren’t you studying rn? 

Eva Brighi: mm? 

Elia Santini: again, drinks tonight? 

Elia Santini: bueller? bueller? 

Luchino: I’m in 

Chicco Rodi: @elia we’re gonna try to play that one game from New Girl tonight 

Giovanni Garau: i fucking love new girl 

Federica Caciotti: doesn’t that revolve around American politicians 

Chicco Rodi: historical figures, please 

Chicco Rodi: and yes 

Federica Caciotti: interesting 

Sana Allagui: I’m coming just to watch you guys be confused 

Edoardo Incanti: when is this starting 

Chicco Rodi: may or may not be four drinks in 

Edoardo Incanti: is2g 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: is anyone at urs rn? I need a quiet place to study 

Giovanni Garau: no 

Giovanni Garau: why don’t you go home? 

Eleonora Sava: Eva will yell at me 

Eleonora Sava: and edo forgot one of my books there earlier when he picked them up I’m sorry 

Giovanni Garau: ok i’m leaving right now 

Giovanni Garau: door’s unlocked but please be quick our neighbor will steal everything we own  

Eleonora Sava: eva’s right you are an angel 

—

Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: are you coming home or nah 

Edoardo Incanti: went to gio’s to study 

Edoardo Incanti: back later 

Federico Canegallo: do you even need to study this much for the one test you still have 

Federico Canegallo: I don’t understand you 

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: ele is exhausted please don’t yell at her when she gets upstairs 

Eva Brighi: … 

Eva Brighi: fine 

Eva Brighi: but only cuz you said please 

— 

Eva Brighi renamed the group 41 days and 41 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs 

— 

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: Marti wants to know if you want anything for breakfast he and Nico are going out 

Eva Brighi: he also called me lazy for not getting off the couch to ask you in person 

Eva Brighi: will you yell at him for that pls 

— 

Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks here tonight for those of us who are feeling reckless or actually are done with midterms 

Silvia Mirabella: starting at 21 but we’re getting Thai at 19 if anyone wants to join 

Chicco Rodi: can u be both? 

Silvia Mirabella: yea that’s allowed 

Chicco Rodi: sick 

Elia Santini: if we want Thai but don’t feel like actually going to the Thai place 

Silvia Mirabella: no 

— 

Silvia Mirabella sent a link to silvietta.sil, profile on PayPal to Le MAT&T: fund drinks for tonight pls and thanks  

Federica Caciotti renamed the group Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore 

Silvia Mirabella: funny 

Federica Caciotti sent a link to federicarica, profile on PayPal: fund my career launch into comedy pls and thanks 

— 

Federico Canegallo to do NOT speak to me about the scooter: fifa tourney @ 15? 

Elia Santini: ye 

Giovanni Garau: taking my last midterm but I can be there at like 16:30 

Federico Canegallo: lame 

Chicco Rodi: will I actually get to play today sir 

Luchino: sounds good 

Rocco Martucci: do any of you actually go to class 

Elia Santini: @chicco @rocco no

Chicco Rodi: fuck you @elia

Martino Rametta: same with gio but Nico says he’ll be there at 15 

Martino Rametta: he’s wondering if you’ll have snacks or no 

Federico Canegallo: tell the little fucker he can die before eating all of my good pretzels again 

Martino Rametta: he says bite me 

Federico Canegallo: @edo hello???? 

Federico Canegallo: update edo is still sleeping but told me to tell you all he’s going to kick your asses 

Elia Santini: fat fucking chance, charms 

— 

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: making coffee would you like some 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: hi please tell me you actually went to bed last night instead of studying more 

Eleonora Sava: I did 

Edoardo Incanti: ok good 

Edoardo Incanti: when are you taking it 

Eleonora Sava: tomorrow 

Edoardo Incanti: are you feeling better about it than you were yesterday? 

Eleonora Sava: yes 

Eleonora Sava: thank you 

Edoardo Incanti: of course 

Edoardo Incanti: i’d offer to let you come study here again but fede and chicco want to play fifa 

Edoardo Incanti: lucky fuckers are already done with their midterms 

Edoardo Incanti: but if you need someone to study with again, I’ll take on the task 

Eleonora Sava: how kind of you 

Eleonora Sava: I’m ok tho 

Edoardo Incanti: if you’re sure 

— 

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: are you down for Thai or no? 

Eva Brighi: because now is the time to say something if ur not 

Eva Brighi: silvia is Determined to get spring rolls 

Eva Brighi: I think only you could stop her 

Eva Brighi: sana tried suggesting that Salvadorian place but sil shut her down hard 

Eva Brighi: come save us from tyranny pls 

—

Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: just wanted to publicly make it known that I kicked Fede and Elia’s asses at fifa 

Sana Allagui: ladies we’ve been demoted to peanut gallery

Sana Allagui: this is a federal offense 

Eva Brighi: @chicco I’ll be impressed when you can beat ele at mario kart

Federica Caciotti: same 

Martino Rametta: points were made

Silvia Mirabella: guys he might die lets not make him do that 

Sana Allagui: can we still take them to court 

Federica Caciotti: yes of course 

Eva Brighi: get ur fucking lawyer ready boys 

Luchino: wait court for what 

Giovanni Garau: grabbing the game cube when I go home this weekend 

Giovanni Garau: mario kart tourney Sunday night 

Federico Canegallo: um pay attention to this tourney pls and thanks 

Chicco Rodi: I’ve been challenged tho 

Chicco Rodi: and they’re suing us 

Federico Canegallo: I will smother you in ur sleep chicco PAY ATTENTION 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: contrary to what the gc says it was mostly me who beat fede and Elia 

Eleonora Sava: color me even more impressed than I already said I was 

Edoardo Incanti: you didn’t say anything 

Eleonora Sava: exactly 

Edoardo Incanti: no one asked you to be sarcastic about it 

Edoardo Incanti: now what’s this about mario kart 

Eleonora Sava: don’t even try I will kick ur ass 

Edoardo Incanti: I’ll have you know I’ve won every single Incanti cousins mario kart tourney since we started doing them when I was like nine 

Eleonora Sava: its not that hard to beat Eva she’s shit 

Edoardo Incanti: we have other cousins ya know 

Eleonora Sava: did mario kart even exist when u were nine 

Edoardo Incanti: ya p sure

Eleonora Sava: hm 

Eleonora Sava: sounds dubious

Eleonora Sava: old 

Edoardo Incanti: hey 

— 

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: yeah I think Thai is fine 

Sana Allagui: its not 

Eva Brighi: what’s not fine is hiding in ur room and not answering ur texts all day 

Federica Caciotti: ok so we’ve gotten through procrastination ele and annoyed ele and now we’re on to hermit ele 

Federica Caciotti: we’ve almost completed the cycle 

Silvia Mirabella: is she alive can you tell 

Silvia Mirabella: sana shut up about the food for a sec 

Sana Allagui: ok easy for u when ur the one that’s winning 

Eva Brighi: yeah I’ve heard her go to the bathroom once or twice but she hasn’t come out besides that 

Eva Brighi: I’ve texted her several times and when I call she sends me to voicemail 

Sana Allagui: have you like knocked on the door 

Eva Brighi: I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid Sana 

Eva Brighi: of course I have 

Eva Brighi: ele if you’re reading this knock on ur wall twice 

Eva Brighi: ok she did it. love you ele please come out and eat something  

—

Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @ele so are you going to beat my ass in mario kart or not 

Chicco Rodi: you didn’t say anything 

Chicco Rodi: i need to kno how many blows my pride is gonna take this week 

Federico Canegallo: ok you are preemptively anticipating ele beating you when gio’s beating you right now 

Federico Canegallo: you’re not even playing anymore ffs 

Chicco Rodi: some things you just have to accept fede 

Edoardo Incanti: who the fuck says preemptively anticipate 

Eva Brighi: don’t be jealous just bc some fede sounds fancier than you 

Edoardo Incanti: is this bc I insulted ur vocabulary yesterday 

— 

Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: not responding to hermit ele takes some strength 

Sana Allagui: is everything ok?

— 

Edoardo Incanti: appalled 

Edoardo Incanti: dubious 

Edoardo Incanti: preemptive 

Edoardo Incanti: anticipation 

Eleonora Sava: no I am not arguing with you about this 

Eleonora Sava: I’m studying 

Eleonora Sava: unlike some people 

Edoardo Incanti: mm ok point taken  

—

Sana Allagui to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: ok Eva w/e you’ve done to piss ele off has extended to me 

Sana Allagui: she’s not responding to my texts 

Eva Brighi: well what did you say 

Eva Brighi: also she’s not pissed off she’s Stressed 

Eva Brighi: i’m Stressed 

Sana Allagui: I asked if she was ok 

Sana Allagui: n she didn’t say anything  

Silvia Mirabella: ele knock twice on the wall again if ur stressed 

Silvia Mirabella: eva did she do it 

Eva Brighi: no 

Eva Brighi: her phone’s going straight to voicemail now I think it’s off 

Silvia Mirabella: damn 

Silvia Mirabella: frontal assault into her room? 

Eva Brighi: I have a better idea 

— 

Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: hey

—

Eleonora Sava to marti make sure nico cleans out the lint filter on the dryer or I will cut you: someone please water the plants on the veranda 

Eleonora Sava: I just realized that I didn’t get to them this morning and they’re sitting directly in the sun 

Martino Rametta: i would totally do it but I am not home atm 

Eva Brighi: I have a good idea for you 

Eva Brighi: you could come out and do it yourself 

Eva Brighi: ele? 

— 

Martino Rametta to Eva Brighi: everything ok with ele? 

Eva Brighi: you’ve been gone all day I forgot 

Eva Brighi: she isn’t coming out of her room or answering her texts 

Martino Rametta: oh so Test Ele 

Eva Brighi: I think its worse than usual 

— 

Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: hi i would request that you set aside your books and take ten deep breaths 

Martino Rametta: nico seconds me 

Eleonora Sava: :/ 

Martino Rametta: eva did water the plants on the veranda she sent me a pic 

Eleonora Sava: :) 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: sorry I was talking to nonna 

Edoardo Incanti: she wants us to come over soon 

Eva Brighi: like today soon? 

Edoardo Incanti: no like in a few weeks 

Eva Brighi: ok 

Eva Brighi: wait aren’t you guys doing fifa right now 

Edoardo Incanti: does that make me incapable of texting nonna 

Eva Brighi: she doesn’t text 

Edoardo Incanti: calling nonna then w/e 

Eva Brighi: edoardo incanti did you actually speak to our grandmother or are you bsing me 

Edoardo Incanti: i promise I did I’m just very tired atm 

Eva Brighi: ok lover boy I’ll let it slide this time 

Eva Brighi: text ele for me I haven’t heard or seen her all day and I’m getting worried 

Edoardo Incanti: weird she’s been texting me 

Eva Brighi: of fucking course 

Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok? 

Eva Brighi: she’s being a recluse 

Eva Brighi: I’ve found that she gets like this around tests its p usual 

Eva Brighi: but this feels off I’m worried 

— 

Edoardo Incanti: in order to properly be a recluse you have to turn your phone off you know 

Eleonora Sava: I have no idea what ur talking about 

Edoardo Incanti: Eva says she hasn’t heard from you all day 

Edoardo Incanti: you haven’t been responding in the gc 

Edoardo Incanti: but you’ve been texting me 

Edoardo Incanti: don’t recluses avoid all contact w the outside world 

Eleonora Sava: whoever said I was trying to be a recluse 

Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok? 

Eleonora Sava: yes 

Eleonora Sava: why wouldn’t it be 

Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming over 

Eleonora Sava: you don’t need to 

Edoardo Incanti: i am tho 

Eleonora Sava: edo 

Eleonora Sava: edo seriously you don’t have to 

Eleonora Sava: edo pick up your damn phone 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: are you home? 

Eva Brighi: ya 

Edoardo Incanti: come buzz me in 

Eva Brighi: she’s not gonna let you in I’ve tried that 

Edoardo Incanti: w/e just do it pls 

— 

Federico Canegallo: where did you go 

Edoardo Incanti: ele’s 

Federico Canegallo: ok 

Federico Canegallo: not gonna finish the tourney? 

Edoardo Incanti: we played for like two and a half hours I think that’s enough

Federico Canegallo: ok 

Federico Canegallo: are you gonna come to drinks 

Edoardo Incanti: depends 

Federico Canegallo: ok 

Federico Canegallo: tell her to feel better 

— 

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: ok better idea is here now 

Sana Allagui: don’t tell me you got edo to come over 

Silvia Mirabella: eva now is not the time to try to set them up 

Sana Allagui: it’s brilliant 

Eva Brighi: ok contrary to popular (silvia’s) belief chicco and I are NOT crazy for trying to set them up 

Eva Brighi: n this isn’t part of that 

Eva Brighi: they are friends and friends are allowed to do shit like care about each other 

Federica Caciotti: and have romantic feelings for one another 

Eva Brighi: not! the! point!

— 

Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: numbers for Thai? 

Luchino: me

Elia Santini: ok the tourney’s almost done 

Elia Santini: you’re sure you won’t bring any to us 

Silvia Mirabella: we are going back to mine after this why would we bring it all the way to fede’s 

Chicco Rodi: me for Thai 

Giovanni Garau: same 

Martino Rametta: me n nico too 

Elia Santini: traitors 

Martino Rametta: we literally are already done with the tourney you’re just a sore loser and want to play until you win a game 

Elia Santini: ur exposing me 

Elia Santini: i will eat ur firstborn 

Silvia Mirabella: edo? fede? 

Federico Canegallo: nah I am gonna pity play Elia until he wins 

Elia Santini: fuck you 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Silvia Mirabella: any chance you could make a stop here after Thai 

Silvia Mirabella: no i literally just told Elia I’m not going to yours 

Edoardo Incanti: at ele’s 

Silvia Mirabella: oh 

Silvia Mirabella: yeah of course 

Silvia Mirabella: what do you guys want 

Edoardo Incanti: the drunken noodles and that one yellow curry 

Silvia Mirabella: will do 

Silvia Mirabella: is ele ok? 

Edoardo Incanti: yeah she’s alright 

Silvia Mirabella: tell her I’m glad she’s ok 

— 

Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: how’s ele 

Edoardo Incanti: hungry 

Eva Brighi: we’ll stop by soon 

Eva Brighi: almost done I promise 

Eva Brighi: besides that? 

Edoardo Incanti: she yelled at me for a bit for coming over n got mad when I took away her textbook 

Edoardo Incanti: but then she calmed down 

Edoardo Incanti: currently on the porch 

Edoardo Incanti: she’s v concerned about the plants 

Edoardo Incanti: says you did a shit job of watering them 

Eva Brighi: that is what she wants to say rn 

Eva Brighi: so picky 

Eva Brighi: is she feeling better? 

Edoardo Incanti: i think so 

Edoardo Incanti: really remains to be see tho 

Edoardo Incanti: she’s very stressed 

Eva Brighi: ok 

Eva Brighi: keep me updated 

— 

Silvia Mirabella to Edoardo Incanti: i come bearing food 

Silvia Mirabella: buzz me in pls 

— 

Federico Canegallo to *plays Baby K even harder*: we’ll be over soon 

Eva Brighi: cool we started w/o you 

— 

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: mission check on ele post drinks is a go 

Eva Brighi: I might be too drunk for this but w/e

Eva Brighi: all the lights are off 

Eva Brighi: it’s quiet 

Eva Brighi: checking her room 

Eva Brighi: oh! 

Eva Brighi: they are asleep 

Sana Allagui: they 

Silvia Mirabella: they?

Eva Brighi: yes edo is here still 

Sana Allagui: nice 

Federica Caciotti: how does ele look 

Eva Brighi: relaxed 

Sana Allagui: are they snuggling 

Eva Brighi: yes 

Eva Brighi: its v cute 

— 

Eva Brighi renamed the group ok they were snuggling last night are we still in the relationship wilderness, who knows? day 1 

Chicco Rodi: sorry they were what last night 

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Sam Wescott NSFW Alphabet.

Sooo after doing Buddy Swanson alphabet of course I had to do one for Sam. Similar to Buddy I consider myself the Sam Wescott expert, again I started his tag on Ao3 and have written him the most so far so fucking here we are! I love him, the sweetest and softest slasher I am into, here we go!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The best word I have to describe Sam Wescott is concerned. He is so concerned about you and your comfort, always. He will do anything you need on your come down. He would run a bath, would get you anything you wanted to eat, change the sheets if you so requested, he doesn't want you to do anything, he's got it under control and he would INSIST. Seriously you want something just name it and it is happening. Would love to have a shower with you post sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His hands for sure, no doubt about it. So much experience working outdoors, very skilled with them, rough and well worked, he isn’t the most confident guy but when it comes to his hands he is. They make him feel capable. Loves to touch you, run his hands over you, loves to feel you up with them and let’s be real the man is great at fingering.

Now for you he loves your lips, man is WEAK for kissing, will sometimes find himself staring at them while talking with you, loves the taste of you, just cannot get enough of kissing you or of you kissing him well basically anywhere. The sweet things you can say with them and listen he can’t help it if he is obsessed with how they look and feel wrapped around his cock.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Okay so I totally have this idea that a big unexpected fave of his that he never anticipated liking so much until it happened is having you make a mess of him. Like blow and jerk him off and make him cum on his own stomach and then lick it up and then his refractory period is basically non-existent.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Okay so one of the hottest things or ideas to him is you forgoing underwear in public and letting him know in some way that you have. Whether taking his hand and letting him feel or maybe a racy picture sent or flashing him with no one around at that moment and holy shit he is achingly hard.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

More than you would think! For a guy who seems so nervous and unassuming you’d think he wouldn’t have much experience but Sam has been around a bit. Much more down for a casual hook-up than you would think. Typically parties and get together where he has had some drinks to help settle some of those nerves. But more importantly he is so enthusiastic and willing to please.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

You on top. He loves it so much, to have you over him, being able to feel you up and help pull you down onto him, he loves you being able to take it at your own pace and use him however you want to find your release. Totally in awe of you riding him, put your hands on his chest as you do, lean down and kiss him or whisper things to him and fuck he won’t be able to hold back from bucking up into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Oh the boy can do both, when he gets all flustered he is much more prone to laughing and making some jokes, but take my word for it, Sam can be so insanely sensual, surprisingly can be great at maintaining the mood. Doesn’t take himself too seriously thankfully.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yeah totally matches, light and soft curls, doesn’t let it grow out much, trims it semi often, has never shaved and certainly never waxed and has no intention of it. Might try shaving it if you wanted him to but he wouldn’t do it unprompted. Overall great personal hygiene.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Ugh romance thy name is Sam Wescott. Like hot damn he can be the most romantic fucker you have ever come across. It is ridiculous. Would touch you with such care and reverence and would say some of the sweetest things. Wouldn’t be every time but you’d never, ever have to ask for romance from Sam.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Totally think that he has a hard time keeping quiet when he does. He just gets so into it. Also totally uses lube, like not lotion, nice lube, totally amps it up for him and I also think he edges himself, not super hard but a few soft edges he’s learned can make his eventual orgasm so much better. Legit just picture poor Sam, one hand over his mouth, eyes shut tight, moaning into his palm as his other hand is slick with lube, fisting his cock, already edged a few times and getting so close he can’t stop the sounds from spilling out? Hot.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Has a few kinks, not all but have some of the biggest.

PRAISE! This man has the biggest fucking praise kink around, both ways. Loves to talk you up so much. Please praise him, tell him what is working and what feels good, nothing gets to him more than you encouraging him vocally.

Body worship. Sam will literally worship every fucking sqaure inch of your body, hands and mouth working in tandem, just positively everywhere until you are a complete puddle. Getting you off gets him off hard.

Denial. Can’t help it, delayed gratification, and you teasing him, frustrating him, gets to him badly, makes him unbelievably hard, and after some good edging he is a total flustered mess and is leaking massive amounts of pre-cum. Is a bit embarrassed he is so into it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Outdoors! Not like he is a huge exhibtioinist just loves being outside, some of his favorite things have happened outside. I headcanon there is this hill at Camp Clear Vista that Sam likes to sit on, can see most of the camp from there, loves to sit there and clear his head, it’s his favorite place. Late at night under the stars, just being out at camp in general, in a tent or a cabin, the forest. Also totally a fan of shower sex.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You wanting him. Showing clear desire and intent, especially if it is some place that you can’t right away. Like you whispering something dirty to him, or feeling him up, a particular look. Oof. He really wants to be wanted and desired so that gets him going like nothing else. Like you being almost desperate for him is perfection. The idea of you clinging to him, tugging on his clothes and almost grinding on him, begging him to just touch you let alone fuck you? He is on you so fast.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Degradation. Like I could not see him having it in him, does not have the heart to engage in extreme degradation. A casual flippant comment in the heat of the moment during a rougher session? Maybe. But you aren’t gonna have him doing some hardcore degrading, sorry he just isn’t that guy. Also any hard pain play either. Making you cry because it feels so good? Yes. Crying from pain? Hard no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oh my fucking God! So don’t ask me how or why this got started but this is my strongest held Sam headcanon. I believe that Sam Wescott is GOD-TIER at giving oral. Eating pussy or sucking dick he is too fucking good and why? How?! Not sure. He just is. Maybe it is him being so enthusiastic and willing to please but he is. I think that is what he has the most experience in. Man will stay down there all night for real if that is what you want. Also turns him on a lot, can totally catch him not so subtly grinding against the bed or palming himself while doing it. Has totally just gone down on you and jerked himself off more than once.

So much bigger giver than a receiver, but still loves, loves, loves when you give. Total mess when you do it, barely knows what to do with himself, totally lets you take the lead on that, he is big and knows it but will appreciate however much you try and take. Won’t say it but loves when you gag on it, doesn’t have to say it because it is obvious he loves it from the way his thighs tense and the strained sounds that leave him as he tries to resist fucking into your mouth.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual for fucking sure. Can go faster, a more steady pace but still doesn’t jump to being rough. Work him up enough and beg for it and you can totally get that from him. Can totally get caught up in the heat of the moment and really fuck you. Again a decent mix but typically slower and more sensual.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Usually likes a mid-length session, loves a longer one and is down for quickies but they aren’t his favorite. Most of his interests and kinks lend themselves better to longer sessions. Quickies are great after a healthy and hearty amount of teasing, you tease him for a few hours where he can’t do anything about it when you do get alone it isn’t gonna last super long, he won’t be able to hold himself back.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Again name of the game for Sam is pleasing you so he is totally down to try what you want, open to experiment and risk for you but isn’t gonna suggest it super openly. He does have some spicier interests and leanings but would be worried about opening up about them at the start, it takes a while for him to get comfortable with that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Depends on how much work you put in beforehand, how much foreplay and how in need he is, how long it has been since you last were together. Can go for three or four with little issue but can be satisfied with just one. The man is fit, young and healthy, what else do you expect?

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Does not own a single toy himself, but would be down to use some with you! I could see his favorite being a bullet vibe, something small yet powerful and precise and using it to great effect on you. Also even though he wouldn’t readily admit it, if you are into it and get into it he could be down with using a paddle.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oooo he likes it a little too much. Typically loves and prefers to be on the receiving end of it but loves to return it. Once he figures out just what gets to you he will use it to his advantage. Likes to see you being flustered in public as opposed to him for once, loves to get you to the point of begging.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Yes dear God, part of why a semi-public hook up is extra risky with him is because he has the hardest time shutting himself up. Again loves to praise and be praised, can’t help saying such sweet things to you, moaning, cursing, grunts of effort just on and on, like damn Sam can you calm down for like a sec? Cover his mouth or gag him for crying out loud, or don’t because he sounds amazing. Will still try to talk when close or cumming but it just ends up breaking apart with his moans. So good.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Oh okay so this is a fun one. I totally think his ears and neck are weirdly sensitive. You wanna see him flushed and flustered as hell and unable to stop himself from grinding against you mid-make out? That is the best way to get it to happen! The thought of it though, you initiate like that. He is sitting at the couch and you come up behind him, wrap your arms around his neck and lean in close, lips brush the shell of his ear and you whisper to him, “Hey Sammy. You busy?” and then you start to kiss his neck and he tenses so quickly. Let your hands start to roam, reach down and palm him through his jeans and ask, “Well?” and feel him up and his eyes would flutter closed and he would arch up into you, a shaky exhale and a laugh as he says “No-I uh, I’m not busy at all.”

And then it is on.

Also he is bi, it took him a long time to accept that about himself and get comfortable with it but he gets there eventually.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Oof so from all the working outside and general working out he is firm, cut, very fucking strong, the view with his shirt off is so good. Okay so for his dick, man is packing heat. I am talking eight point five to nine inches, you wouldn’t guess by looking at him. Totally not the type to brag about it and is aware extra foreplay and prep is usually needed but he loves that so it is all good. Average thickness, circumsized, pretty full balls, a good handful, you know? The sheer amount of pre-cum this man can produce is impressive, actual loads fairly regular, little thin, slightly above average amount, he has a great diet and tastes good.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Down for nearly every single day, fine with around three times a week because the sessions are longer. Would love to wake you up with oral, no better way to start his day, loves a good morning session while you are still in bed together, also quite the fan of some afternoon delight. Can be quite insatiable when prompted right and that side is pulled out of him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Boy he makes sure you are all good but after a really, really long session the boy does get sleepy. Him checking in and making sure you are all good and don’t need anything even with his eyes slipping closed and voice all tired, adorable, endearing, loves to curl up with you to sleep. He can spoon you but loves to be the little spoon, is anyone surprised?

[bao3bei4]

kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire 

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right. 

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one. 

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked. 

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did. 

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction. 

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere. 

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015. 

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found. 

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you. 

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom. 

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people. 

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right. 

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.  

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age. 

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible. 

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses. 

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad! 

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare). 

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever. 

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about. 

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story. 

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.) 

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf. 

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes. 

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god. 

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair. 

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah. 

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010. 

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it. 

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu. 

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video. 

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories. 

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably. 

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious. 

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to. 

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended. 

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see. 

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down. 

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not. 

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place. 

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine! 

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them. 

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.) 

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad. 

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again. 

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies. 

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

[bitchbrisket]

First Lines Tag

Tagged by @slightlyintimidating

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

As all my mutuals have been tagged already, I’ll just tag a couple of people, @tara-stofse and @rapidashpatronus

I’m also going to cheat and give you a favourite line from each one, simply because the first line is rarely the best and why not be a big fat show off where your writing is concerned? Didn’t link because I am a lazy cow but my AO3 profile is at the top of my page.

1.       (The Worst Witch 2017) A friend like you – 'Get in loser, we're going shopping!'

Sometimes I come up with good titles and sometimes I desperately flail around and this was the best I could do. Most people should know what the opening line is a reference to and it was the first thing I thought of when the idea of this fic materialised.

  ·         'I know you think you're hot stuff, but Dimity can run rings around you. You have the acting skills of a potato' she icily informed a miffed Arabella.’

  2.       (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries) An education - 'I confess, I fail to understand the point of most of them.'

Again, another crappy title but for some reason, no song lyric or poem came to me on the subject of policemen raiding a Chinese brothel in the 1920s and confiscating vibrators because they look like suspicious instruments. I did lift the first line from the script because that is partly what I based the fic on. 0/10 for originality there.

  ·         ‘The benefit of having so many deities, Lin reflected, was that there was always someone in, should you knock on the door of their shrines.’

  3.       (The Worst Witch 2017) Poker – ‘Miss Bat scuttled along to the staffroom after her date and walked in, only to halt in surprise.’

Good Lord, I’m really not selling it to you with these boring titles am I? I’ve done the strip poker storyline with the hairpins in another fandom and couldn’t think up a clever title for that either.

  ·         ‘Clothes were strewn everywhere but in front of Hecate, there was a small pile of hairpins and nothing else.’

  4.       (The Worst Witch 2017) Which witch is which? – ‘Wychwood forest was a mysterious place, full of wrackspurts and helipoaths and blibbering humdingers. Sometimes you'd even see a crumple horned snorcack galloping along.’

Yes, alright I borrowed something off the world of Harry Potter. A fic based off a post off of a popular post on Tumblr and title borrowed off Dianna Wynne Jones I think.

  ·         'Watch out for the blibbering humdingers!' she shouted vengefully after the troublesome tourists.’

  5.       (The Worst Witch 2017) They do it with mirrors - 'I've missed you.'

Very general, basic bitch kind of starter. Dial up the smut o’metre because witches are having the equivalent of webcam sex. Written for the Hackle Lemonade Challenge, prompt kink. Wasn’t one of my favourites to write but it does have one of my favourite paragraphs in a smutty fic. Beats the first line anyway.

  ·         ‘She groaned and panted as her climax finally overtook her, glad of the extra support from the solid oak furniture. None of this modern rubbish that couldn't withstand a good hard fuck. There was a time and a place for IKEA but this was not it.’

  6.       (The Worst Witch 2017) Every inch of you – ‘Ada loved it when Hecate lightly raked her nails down her back.’

Diving straight into the smut for this other Hackle Lemonade Challenge, prompt kink fic. Title entirely appropriate.

  ·         ‘While many people over the years could make it happen, it was a secret delight to know that nobody did it better than her.’

  7.       (The Worst Witch 2017) The hum of your desire – ‘Ada woke up to an empty bed.’

At least it’s promising. The story can go anywhere when you start off with an empty bed. The bed is irrelevant anyway. They end up on the sofa.

  ·         ‘Hecate Hardbroom was nothing but a meticulous over achiever.’

  8.       (The Worst Witch 2017) You’re the night sky, trying to make me see your stars – ‘Hecate had been afraid to touch.’

Throws you right into the scene and lets you know there’s going to be a bit of angst in there. I love the song I took the title from (night sky – Leonell Cassio & Julia Mihevc) and I waited for a fic idea to materialise so I could use it.

  ·         ‘Ada could feel her breathing, steady and true, vibrating through to her heart.’

  9.       (Ghosts) Hide & seek – ‘Giggling madly, she galloped up the stairs to seek out the best hiding place ever.’

With several of the ghosts with backstories we have yet to uncover, the possibilities are endless. Poor Kitty had to die young so I gave her a death loosely based on an English ghost story, using all the unsavoury incidents involving her sister. Title needs no explanation.

  ·         ‘And shimmering obliquely in the corner of the landing, was the answer. The wooden chest. The one from the latest sailing ship that had brought back all that sugar and tea and rum.’

  10.   (The Worst Witch 2017) When breathing sounds like your song – ‘She hadn't let herself enjoy it at first.’

Luckily the only way from there is forward. For the Hackle Lemonade Challenge 2021, prompt firsts. Not sure where I got the title from, it’s possible I melded a couple of song lyrics together for it.

  ·         ‘I always feel thirsty after a pleasurable experience' she said cheerfully.’

  11.   (Holby City) There is no goat that foolish – ‘Serena patted down her wide brimmed hat and set off for a walk.’

It’s an ok start to the fic. The title is terrible but honestly, its just hard to find references to goats in general.

  ·         ‘She only just realised that they were conversing in English, not French. The other woman had a London accent. Good. She could shout at her more expressively in English.’

  12.   (The Worst Witch 2017) Sugar mouse – ‘What is it?’

So many possibilities here. The title does give it away, but still.

  ·         ‘In her nightmares, her grandfather had chased her around with an eyeball on a fork.’

  13.   (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries) Stitch up - ‘I’d like to see you operate my sewing machine, Hugh Collins.’

Another shameless ripping off from the script. But nothing else can sum up this fic so perfectly. Title self-explanatory.

  ·         ‘Were sewing machines like dogs? He wondered. Did they take on the personalities of their owners?’

    14.   (Pushing Daisies) Girls don’t want boys, girls want damn respect – ‘Her boy always had an eye for the ladies.’

What a ridiculously clunky title. But apparently I couldn’t think of anything better. The opening line is much better.

  ·         ‘Calista was reminded of the principal at school that Emerson had crushed on so hard that he'd broken every fire alarm in the school over the course of several months just to get her attention. Some things never changed.’

  15.   (Holby City) Tell us the tale of a goat – ‘Did I ever tell you about how Serena and I met?’

A solid opening there, full of potential. The title is a bit crap. No, I have no idea why or how Serena would be working on the Italian railway either.

  ·         ‘You dressed one up in a poncho and called it aunt Gertrude?’ Fleur asked eventually. She really couldn’t think of anything better to say.’

  16.   (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries) In the gracious light – ‘Jack tried not to let their questioning stares get to him.’

Based partly on the MFMM books, I’m happy with the opening line, it sets the tone. The title comes from Shakespeare’s Sonnet VII. ‘Lo! in the orient when the gracious light.’ With that, it ties in Jack and Lin quite nicely.

  ·         ‘After all, grandmama had warned him enough about the distraction of white girls. She had said nothing about white boys.’

    17.   (Holby City) Not yet – ‘Bernie wouldn't describe herself as an avid reader these days.’

Title taken from a line in the book Wicked. Opening line is pretty generic. I basically wrote this fic because Elphaba reminds me of Bernie in some respects. Also, premonition, sorry about that.

  ·         ‘In her mind, it was Serena in that cell, stretching out her hand to Bernie and chiding her affectionately for her delay.’

    18.   (Ghosts) Filth – ‘The Captain paid no attention to Lady Button's shrewish tone two rooms away.’

Simple title, simple opening line. Very direct. It’s the ‘why didn’t the Captain and Lady Button bond over the hot gardener in Lady Chatterly’s Lover together’ fic.

  ·         ‘The Captain sighed. That husband of hers had a lot to answer for. Bastard. He couldn't have killed her by poison or anything, no, he had to push her out of the damn window.’

  19.   (Ghosts & Holby City crossover) Over the top we go – ‘He couldn't believe it.’

So many things one couldn’t believe, a pretty generic opening. The title is a WW1 reference so not the correct war for the Captain but I used it anyway. Bernie is Haver’s niece.

  ·         ‘The Captain looked pleased but there was an expression in his eyes that Alison thought hid a sob in his heart.’

    20.   (Holby City) Boobs – ‘Arthur Digby was having a terrible day.’

Title, utterly crap, I know you’ll agree. Opening line, sums it up really. I like it.

  ·         'Well, call me Da Vinci and I'll paint you like one of those French girls.'

Art wasn't Fleur's strong point.’

So what did I learn about my opening lines? It does reflect my writing style, snappy and concise. I rarely ramble for long. Are they thrilling opening lines? Not usually. Do they set the scene or the tone? Much of the time. They are certainly not the best ones I’ve ever written. Considering that I don’t love most of these last lot of opening lines, I’m going to go with which witch is which? It’s the best one of the bunch, I think. 

[sandersstudies]

Quirky - Chapter 7

A High School Superhero AU - Sanders Sides

(Will add tag list in a reblog! If I miss you, please let me know ASAP - As always, asks, comments, messages, reblogs, and keysmashes are more than welcome.)

Attention: This chapter has some mild sensitive content. Warnings in tags!

Chapter Six

Chapter Five

Chapter Four

Chapter Three

Chapter Two

Chapter One

You can now also find the fic with the same username and title on AO3 :) Feel free to stop by and leave kudos!

***

Roman wasn’t used to shrinking down into his shoulders, but found himself doing it as he walked from the school to the street. He took quick glances toward the road, watching for the car his mother had promised to send. Rafaela, Kenny, and Kai passed, with Rafaela swinging into her mom’s car and the boys climbing onto the school bus. If there was anyone Roman didn’t want to see him, it was those three. Oh, and maybe Patton and his mind-hearing quirk.

The white Subaru he’d been waiting for pulled up, and Roman exchanged the family code phrase with the driver before he slid inside and the car pulled away. Private drivers were just one advantage of having ex-hero parents. Roman leaned against the window and caught a glimpse of Virgil and Logan walking in the same direction. Those two had certainly become real buddies, now. He supposed it came with being weak-quirked.

But then again, Roman remembered, maybe Virgil wasn’t weak-quirked. Roman still wasn’t sure what had happened to that beam in the Ruins Zone, but it didn’t seem like the work of somebody like Virgil. What was next, Logan blowing up a building? Roman was tempted to force a laugh when one didn’t rise naturally. He hadn’t been laughing much lately. Virgil’s weird little stunt today hadn’t helped. Roman’s mind had raced through the scene a dozen times unbidden. The feeling of his knuckles slamming against the wall (two of his fingers had scraped and bled). The harsh light overhead, blocked by the heavy shadows of the ruins. The groaning that had become a roar over his head, and the dark shadow over him vanishing as the beam flew away. Turning to see Virgil. “Shut up, lightbulb.” It was interesting. Roman hadn’t seen Virgil bristle quite so much before. For a second, he could actually imagine the pipsqueak passing the entrance exam with that kind of annoying spunk.

Roman felt warm with anger, and squashed the feeling down his throat. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He began counting street lights, and got to twenty-four before the car pulled into the parking lot of West Izuku Hospital.

“Thanks,” he said as he got out.

“Would you like me to wait for you, Mr. Lightflight?” the driver asked.

“No, that’s okay, thanks. I’ll call in a bit.”

Roman felt himself shrinking again as he walked through the revolving door of the hospital and up to the receptionist’s desk. The secretary was the same woman who’d greeted him yesterday, and she double-checked the room number for him before he thanked her and walked toward the elevators.

When the doors opened, a doctor and nurse got off before Roman got on. As he did so, someone shouted, “hold the elevator!” from somewhere behind him, and he turned to press his hand against the sliding door. A middle-aged woman with a load of balloons skittered inside, the bumbling balloons making dull bonking noises as their bloated bodies bent against the door and one another. Once the woman was inside, the balloons took up most of the elevator, and Roman was struck by the sudden image of the elevator ascending through the hospital ceiling and floating away with the power of helium.

“Thank you, young man,” the woman said. “Could you press floor three, please?”

Roman obliged, also pressing the button for the fifth floor.

“Sorry about the balloons,” the woman said. “My sister just had twins, a boy and a girl, so I just had to pick up balloons for both of them.” The mass of pink and blue seemed self-explanatory to Roman, but he hummed in understanding, and the woman took it as a cue to go on. “My sister just loves balloons. Usually I bring flowers when there’s a new baby, but I thought she’d like this better. Who are you visiting today?” Before Roman could answer, the elevator chimed and the woman clucked. “Oh, this is my stop. Have a nice day!” The balloons squeezed and complained squeakily again as she got off, but finally gave in and popped out of the door to follow her down the hallway of the maternity ward. No one else got on, and Roman rode alone to floor five.

“It’s Roman, isn’t it?” one of the nurses at yet another desk said as he got off the elevator. Roman didn’t like the dripping sympathy in her voice, but he nodded.

“Your dad’s awake now, I’m sure he’ll be very happy to see you.” She smiled with only her lips. “Would you like me to show you the way again?”

“I can find it myself,” Roman said. “Thanks, though.”

“Just let us know if you need anything.”

Roman hummed another response and hurried down the hallway. He counted floor tiles for an excuse to look at his feet, only glancing up to keep track of room numbers. He reached thirty-two tiles, because 519 was at the end of the hall. He knocked on the doorframe before entering.

The Flying Falcon peered up from behind a newspaper. He’d been reduced to his civilian state, wearing a pair of reading glasses and a hospital gown. All his hospital paperwork, of course, had listed him as Joseph Martin.

“Hey, son,” he said, extending one splinted hand toward a seat near his bed. “The nurses told me you came by before school this morning, sorry for sleeping in.”

“Didn’t want to bother you,” Roman said, standing just inside the door. His eyes were drawn to his fathers’ chest, now covered by a hospital gown.

“Come on and sit,” Roman’s father insisted.

Roman sunk into the seat. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, don’t worry about it.” He waved his un-splinted hand dismissively. “Did Mamá tell you what the doctors said? A sprained wrist, and two fractured ribs that-”

“Punctured the lung,” Roman finished. “I heard.”

“That was some car accident,” he went on, shuffling the pages of his newspaper. “I think I’m very lucky.”

“Right,” Roman said.

***

Rafaela, Kenny, and Kai had completely vanished by the time Roman raced down the alley after them, police sirens still ringing in his ears. He didn’t remember much of his sprint home, only arriving at the front door and fumbling for his key to let himself in. He opened the door and drew it closed silently behind him. His chest was heaving, and he felt like someone had wrapped their first around his esophagus. He started for the stairs when he realized there was a light shining from under his parents’ bedroom door. There was a hushed voice speaking upstairs.

Roman swallowed. Maybe if he was quiet, he could sneak up the stairs and into his room before his mother even realized he’d been gone. He took two steps upward in silence, and took the third with more confidence, only to have it squeal under his weight. He froze.

“One minute, please,” he heard. There was a shuffle before the door of his parents’ room swung open and his mother’s face peered out.

“Eres tu, mi principito?” she asked. She rubbed one eye. Both were red, but there were no tears on her cheeks. “What are you doing up so late, sweetheart?”

“Sorry for waking you up, Mamá,” he muttered. His mouth was dry. “I was just getting some water.”

“You’re sweating,” his mother said, setting down her phone and walking down the stairs. “Do you feel sick?” She pressed her palm against his forehead.

“I feel fine.”

She gently cupped his face. “Hey, honey, I have something to tell you, okay?”

Roman couldn’t make eye contact, so he stared past her ear. “What?”

“Your father was in an accident on his drive back from the university,” she said. “He’s gonna be okay, but I’m going to go to the emergency room to see him.”

“I’m coming too.”

“Oh, honey, you know I want you to, but if you’re not feeling well-” She touched his forehead again.

“I’m okay.”

She paused for a moment and blinked softly at him. “Okay. Take my keys and start the car. I’m going to wrap up this phone call and be right out.”

“Is Dad on the phone?”

“It’s our old agent from hero work,” she said, starting up the stairs. “Lola, you remember her?”

“Calling about a car accident?” Roman said, sudden anger rising in him.Was this agent lying to his mother, or was his mother lying to him?

“They...monitor these things, honey,” the one-time Lady Lightbringer said without turning around. “It’ll be okay, I’ll be right out.”

***

“Mamá told me that Lola Brown called,” Roman said.

“That’s right,” his father said, staring down at the newspaper. “Very nice of her. You see this here?” He held up the paper. There was a photo of Multi-Man, an old one from the height of his hero career, and a headline about his arrest.

“Yeah, everybody at school is talking about it,” Roman said.

Joseph nodded and sucked his lip. “He was a really good man,” he said. “Interned at my agency when he wasn’t much older than you. Very bright kid, really dedicated to hero work. Can’t imagine what happened.”

“What did happen?” Roman asked, feeling anger in his stomach again. “What did he do?”

His father chuckled. “It’s all hearsay, of course,” he said. “Some kind of attack outside city hall. If I hadn’t been in that car accident maybe I’d have trotted up there myself!” He laughed, and his hand flew to his side. “Ah, this is just another sign it’s time for me to leave hero work in the past. I’m getting to be too old.”

“You’re not old, Dad,” Roman said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Not too old yet,” Joseph admitted. “Still too young to like being cooped up in here. They say it’ll be another couple days before this thing can come out.” He prodded the tube that was snaking out of the sleeve of his hospital gown.

“I’m sorry,” Roman said. “Did Mamá visit today?”

“She dropped by and brought lunch,” he responded. “I’m not much of a fan of hospital food.”

“She didn’t really tell me much about the accident,” Roman said cautiously. “What happened?”

Joseph paused and rustled the pages of his newspaper. “Gee, I...well you know what, I barely remember it. One of those funny things that happens, I suppose.” He tapped his forehead. “Doctors say I was lucky to have no concussion. But tell me about school, Ro,” he said, swerving from the topic. “I missed your first week, how’s it been?”

“Well, you heard about Mr. Sanders,” Roman said. Joseph smiled sympathetically. Roman went on. “A bunch of the students were really upset, and all.”

“Does ‘a bunch of students’ include one named Roman Lightflight?”

Roman shrugged. “Trying to focus on studying, I guess.”

Joseph grinned. “Just like your mom,” he said. “My very first semester at UA, I remember she was top of the class. Everybody, even the teachers, started saying, ‘that Ximena Alcérreca, she’s the one to beat!’ I miss the old place, every once in a while.”

Roman faked a smile of pride at the comparison to his mother, but wilted internally, knowing that the praise was given unfairly. He couldn’t remember a single thing Mr. Picani had said in literature all week. Had he even had a pencil out for biology?

“Do they still set you right to work with training?” his father asked.

“We did a bomb exercise,” Roman said. “Heroes against villains. I was a hero.”

“Well, that wasn’t just for the exercise,” Joseph said. “Did you win?”

“...Yeah.”

“That’s good! That’s great! I’m sure your classmates were blown away!” His eyes had lit up (less literally than Roman’s often did), and Roman wondered if his father was remembering his own time at UA. “Mamá said your class had a field trip to USJ today, how was that?”

Roman saw Virgil, cheeks flushed with anger and purple hair bristling and hazel eyes flashing, illuminated a moment in his head. He shifted to hide his scratched hand behind him. “It was okay.”

“Your class had fun?”

Roman swallowed. “Yeah, well, it’s nice having some kids from middle school there.”

“I’d hope so,” Joseph said. “It’s the best prep school in the area. Rafaela and Kai and….Kenny, isn’t it?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Going to ditch your old man today to hang out with your pals, then?”

“No,” Roman said, a little too sharply. Joseph paused.

“Been a falling out?” he asked.

Roman shrugged.

“It happens,” Joseph insisted, shifting his weight in the hospital bed so he could reach Roman’s shoulder. “When a group of people move to a new stage in life, like high school, sometimes they start to go their separate ways,” he said. “It’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it makes you realize who your real friends are.”

Roman stifled the pain in the center of his chest. “It’s just tough,” he said. He straightened his shoulders. “But I’m gonna do it, Dad. I’m going to graduate and be a hero and everything.”

“Well, don’t underestimate the power of having friends by your side,” his father responded. “Being a hero doesn’t always mean going it alone.” One of his hands wandered vaguely to his chest and rested over where his broken ribs were. He seemed to suddenly come to himself and spoke again. “Any new friends, then?”

“Not really,” Roman admitted. “Well, there’s this one kid…”

His father didn’t fill the gap.

“There’s this other kid who got in on recommendation,” Roman said. “Patton something.”

“Nice kid?”

“I guess so.”

“Powerful quirk, I’ll bet.”

There was a pause. “I think I’m gonna get going, Dad,” Roman said, standing up and shouldering his backpack. “I want to get home and...study.”

Joseph looked taken aback only a moment, and then nodded vigorously. “Exactly what I like to hear,” he said. “Well, give your old man a hug and I’ll let you head out. Probably gets pretty stuffy sitting too long in a hospital, huh?”

Roman reached in for a hug, awkward from his father’s angle. “I’m really glad you’re doing okay.”

“Well, no car accident is going to knock down the Flying Falcon, is it?” Joseph Martin asked triumphantly. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

Roman made a point not to make eye contact with the nurses as he shuffled into the elevator. As he descended, he made a brief call to his driver. The elevator picked up two men from the fourth floor and then sunk to the first. Roman’s phone buzzed cheerily with a text message as he stepped off.

Rafaela. Hey dude I know stuff is weird but whatevers going on w your dad i hope everythings ok

He swiped to dismiss the text and started to put his phone in his pocket. It buzzed again and Roman felt a crinkle of anger in his cheeks before he saw the word “Mamá” on the screen.

Know you’re probably still at the hospital, have to head out for a little while and might be hard to get a hold of. Contact Lola if there’s an emergency. Pizza in the freezer for you. <3

<3 U, Roman replied. His ride arrived quickly, and Roman drummed his fingers against the side of the car as he climbed in.

“Back home, Mr. Lightflight?” the driver said, already turning in that direction.

“Take me to city hall, first.”

***

Roman had watched his mother’s face from the first moment they entered the emergency room (which was calmer than he’d expected). The one-time top hero was not one to show her vulnerability. But Roman had felt her grip a little too light on his arm, had heard her voice a little too high, had seen her leg bounce with anxious waiting. They had entered the place where the Flying Falcon was flightless on the gurney, chest half-exposed to reveal bruises and a small tube protruding from his chest. It was only for a moment when, as she held her husband’s hand, Roman had seen the fire of Lady Lightbringer in the tears suspended in her amber eyes but not falling. When she had stood to touch Roman’s shoulder, she was strengthened instead of wavering, and for a moment Roman had been afraid of his own mother.

[epicstuckyficrecs]

How To Tag Stucky Fics Part 3: Additional Tags

The Additional Tags are probably the hardest to fill out, but also the most important! All of the other fields are pretty straightforward when it comes to what you need to put in, but here? It’s the Wild West! You can pretty much write as much or as little as you want, but those tags are really gonna be the ones that will let potential readers know what is in your fic. In fact, they’re probably as important as your summary 

If you want an easy reminder of what to tag for, keep in mind the W’s: WHO, WHAT, WHEN, and WHERE? 

Under a read more because this is long!

Who

Character traits

We’ve already settled which characters are appearing in your fic, now it’s time to tell us more about WHO they are. This can include:

Physical traits

Personality traits

Jobs

Sexuality and other sex-related stuff

Religion

Nationality 

Disabilities and mental illnesses

Fantasy creatures: vampire, werewolf, angel and demon… you get the gist.

MCU specific stuff

etc.

In my opinion, these tags are useful if the characteristic in question is something that is memorable, important with regards to the plot, something that defines the character in your story specifically, or something that differs from canon. I don’t really need to know that your fic contains some Shy Bucky Barnes if it’s not somewhat important to the story; you probably don’t need to tag for “British Peggy Carter” since thats just the default canon, but you could tag “American Peggy Carter” if she’s American in your AU!

I’ve mentioned a lot of them in my Comprehensive List of Stucky Tags post, but it’s not actually a complete list! If you want to know all of the canon tags existing for a specific character: go on AO3 and click on the Search tab on top of the page > Tags > Enter the character’s name > Select “Freeform” in the list > Click “canonical”. 

And besides, if you can’t find a canonical tag for what you want, you can always invent one! Just remember: if you wanna create a freeform tag for a character, please make sure to use the characters’ LAST NAME too, in order to help tag wranglers! For example: if you want to tag for Steve having black hair, you should write something like “Steve Rogers has black hair”, and not just “Steve has black hair”, because at the moment there are 279 canonical “Steve” character tags so… who knows which Steve you’re talking about? XD

As for some things specific to the MCU, again, I’ve listed a lot of them in my Comprehensive List of Stucky Tags post, but I would tag especially anything that differs from canon, for example, “Steve Rogers as the Winter Soldier” or “Bucky Barnes as Captain America”. You can check out the post if you wanna have an idea of the canonical tags that already exist, but once again, you can always create your own tags and let the wranglers deal with it! :P Just make sure to use the characters’ last name in your tag.

Another tip: if there’s a dichotomy in the character roles or attributes, or opposite roles/positions between the characters, I would make sure to tag them both! For example: 

Don’t just tag “Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics”: also tag Alpha Bucky Barnes, Omega Steve Rogers, or vice-versa

Don’t just tag “BDSM”: also tag Dom Steve Rogers, Sub Bucky Barnes, or vice-versa

Don’t just tag “Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons”: also tag Angel Steve Rogers, Demon Bucky Barnes, or vice-versa

etc.

Relationships

Why am I talking about relationships again, you say? Haven’t we covered that in Part 2 of the series? Yes I did. But here’s a little reminder of what I said then:

“Any side pairings/friendships can go in the Additional Tags field (for example: Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov or Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes Friendship).”

So there’s a few types of relationships that you can consider here: 

Friendships: you can decide wether you want to mention the friendship in the Relationships field, in the Additional Tags field, or both. That’s your choice!

Past relationships, minor/side relationships: I personally would put them only in the Additional Tags field (NOT in the Relationship field), and here’s why: 

Putting “past” or “minor” or “side” or whatever else qualifier in front of your ship in the Relationships field makes it a non-canonical tag (only the Additional tags can be non-canonical, or “freeform”. Like I’ve said in Part 2: try to only use canonical tags for the Fandom, Relationship, and Characters fields). That means that your tag is gonna be made a synonym of a canon tag. For example: the non-canonical “(Past) Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers” tag that a few people have used is a synonym of the canon “Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers” tag. That means that those past Peggy/Steve fics appear in the Steve/Peggy tag. Are people looking for Steggy fics likely to want to read past Steggy fics? You tell me...

If you’re tagging with the canon tag, but the couple is only a side/minor pairing, it might annoy people who are looking for fics in that tag and keep seeing fics that are not about their ship. This is especially true if the ship is less popular in the fandom.

So TLDR in my opinion: tag your main couple (if you’re writing a romance) or your main friendship/platonic relationship (if you’re writing a Gen fic) in the Relationship field, and tag everything else in the Additional Tags field.

POV

You can specify from which POV your fic is written from. Personally, I would pay attention to this mostly if your POV differs from the classic “3rd person” Steve or Bucky POV. Some existing tags tags to give you an idea:

POV Steve Rogers

POV Bucky Barnes

POV Sam Wilson or POV Natasha Romanov, etc.

POV Outsider or POV Original Character

POV First Person or POV Second Person

POV Alternating

POV Multiple  

What

This is pretty self-explanatory, but you want to tell your readers what’s in your story! What’s happening? What’s the plot about? What are some specific subjects/themes your story contains?

Genres

When I think about genres, I always picture the FF.net categories lol XD. But it’s actually a good way to look at it!Here’s a few examples on AO3:

Action/Adventure

Angst

Character Study

Crack

Crimes and Criminals

Crossovers & Fandom Fusions

Family

Fluff

Friendship

Humor

Hurt/Comfort

Love

Mystery

Pining

Porn

Romance

Science Fiction & Fantasy

Sexual content

Smut

I wouldn’t say these are the most essential tags, but they can give your readers a general idea of the tone/content of your story.

Relationship

On top of that, we want to know what kind of relationship your ship has in this fic! What are they to each other? What’s their progression? Here’s a few examples:

Boss/Employee Relationship

Break Up

Childhood Friends

Enemies to Friends to Lovers

Established Relationship

Fake/Pretend Relationship

Friends to Lovers

Friends With Benefits

Getting Together

Long-Distance Relationship

Strangers to Lovers

Triggers

It can be hard to know what to tag with regards to triggers. I’d say better safe than sorry, and be open to suggestions and comments from your readers, especially with triggers. 

Here’s a few examples to give you an idea what to tag for, which are taken from this great triggers list, but I definitely suggest you take a look at this post and bookmark it for whenever you need to tag your fics!

Violence:

Death: main/minor character death, animal death, child death...

Suicide: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, suicidal “insert character name”, ... 

Abuse: child abuse, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, emotionnal abuse, gaslighting... 

Assault

Torture

Kidnapping

Stalking

Sex:

Rape/Sexual assault/Non con

Dub con

Incest

Specific sex acts: like @kiragecko says in the post I linked: “some people search for, others want to avoid”. 

Specify if your characters are being Safe Sane and Consensual or not when engaging in kinky sex.

Health:

Drugs and/or Alcohol

Food

Illnesses (physical or mental)

Pregnancy: mpreg, miscariage

Self-harm

Panic attacks, PTSD, dissociation

Phobias: 

Any phobias that your character(s) have and are specifically mentioned/depicted in your fic

Common phobias: spiders, clowns, hospitals...

Gross content:

Gore

Bodily fluids

Smut

I’ve said it above in the triggers section, but you can tag sexual acts appearing in your story as a way to both attract readers who are looking for them and help readers who want to avoid them. 

If your story has a lot of smut, you might be reluctant to tagging all of them in fear of making your tag list very long. I would always at least indicate in your tags that there’s Sexual Content in your fic; then, you could do like I’ve suggested with the Warnings and add something like “more info about specific sexual acts in the author’s note” to your tags, and make a detailed list of sexual acts in your authors’ note.

Here’s a few generic tags about smut, and here’s a link to all the different canon “sex” tags (350 at the moment!)

Angst and Fluff and Smut

Angst and Porn

Emotional Porn

Eventual Smut

Fluff and Smut

Identity Porn

Mild Sexual Content 

Mild Smut 

No Smut 

Non-Graphic Smut 

Porn with Feelings 

Porn With Plot

Sexual Tension

Unresolved Sexual Tension 

When

MCU

In my post about Stucky tags, I made a list of a lot of tags regarding the MCU movies. Not all of them of course, this list was mainly focused on movies where Stucky would appear, but you get the gist. We want to know WHEN in the MCU your fic is happening.

I’m not gonna list every single MCU movie and all of their tags, but basically you have a few options:

Pre-movie

Movie

Movie mid/end credit scenes

Post-movie

Movie compliant

Not Movie compliant

Canon divergence

Canon divergence - post movie

Some movies also have specific tags for their trailers. I would recommend using the trailer tag if you are indeed writing your fic based on the trailer of a movie that isn’t out yet (you could also add the movie’s specific “spoiler” tag too while you’re at it!) in order for people to be able to avoid spoilers if they want to.

Moreover, in the case of movies that are canonically happening in another time, you could also add the relevant tags if it’s pertinent! (for example, with The First Avenger: 1930s or World War II). You can also refer to events that happened within the MCU (example: Battle of New York (Marvel)).

Alternate Universe

Whatever era or time your fic is happening in, there’s probably a tag for that! There’s a tag for every decade of the 20th century and pretty much every century too. Is it a Victorian, Ancient Rome, or a Future fic? 

But even if it’s just a simple Alternate Universe - Modern Setting with No Powers … there are tags for that too! :P 

If there’s a specific historical/fictional event that your story is centered around, you could tag it too! For example: PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics, World War I, 2008 United States Presidential Election, Battle of Hogwarts, 75th Hunger Games, etc.

Don’t forget your holidays! Christmas, Valentine's Day, Halloween, to name a few...

Where

Self-explanatory again, but where is your story taking place? :P Again, maybe not the most important tag category to consider, but I would use it especially if the story is taking place in a specific/unusual place for the canon or your ship. See examples below!

MCU

Avengers Tower

Avengers Compound

Red Room (Marvel)

Sanctum Sanctorum (Marvel) 

Wakanda (Marvel)

Asgard (Marvel)

Alternate universe

(Reminder: There’s sooooooooooo many different Alternate Universe tags!)

If your AU is taking place in a different country/city, you can mention it! You could either go with the AU tag or just the tag for the place itself. For example: Alternate Universe - Canada or Canada. 

But it can also be even more precise than that! Stuck in a cabin during a snowstorm? There’s Cabin Fic! Steve and Bucky are men of the Night’s Watch? Maybe tag Castle Black! You get the gist ;) 

And lastly...

Format

(inspired by this post from @salt-of-the-ao3 on tumblr)

If your fic has a specific format, you can specify it! Here’s a few suggestions:

Drabble

Epistolary

Songfic

Poetry

Reader-Insert 

And I think that’s it folks! All you need to know to tag your fics the best you can! :)

See Part 1: A Comprehensive List of Stucky Tags here!

See Part 2: Rating, Warnings, Fandoms, Relationships & Characters here!

You can also access a handy bullet-point checklist that summarizes these posts on Google Docs here! 

[lefaystrent]

Welcome to the Neighborhood part 2

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides

Pairings: Prinxiety?

Summary: Virgil’s really bad at peopling, or so his new neighbors find out.

Chapter Navigation: part one part three

Notes: I didn’t plan to continue this, but a lot of people liked it? So here’s some more of this absurd little comedy.

AO3 Link

           Early one morning before the sun had yet to rise, Virgil was lounging on the roof munching on some Cheetos.

           “How did you even get up there?”

           Virgil most definitely did not yelp. He let out a manly grunt of surprise at the figure on the ground who managed to sneak up on him. It was one of the new neighbors, Roman. He wore shorts, sneakers, and a tank top, looking like he was about to go for a morning jog.

           He also stood there grinning, and Virgil didn’t think he imagined the movie star twinkle that came with it.

           Virgil slowly pointed a finger at him. “Don’t.”

           “Don’t what?”

           “Sneak up on me. People die that way.”

           Roman threw back his head and laughed. It annoyed Virgil so he tossed a Cheetos at his stupid perfect face. Roman batted the projectile away easily.

           “Do you always sit around eating chips?” Roman asked benignly.

           Virgil shrugged, frowning down into his nearly empty bag. When did that happen? “Nah, when I’m in the backyard I eat Oreos.”

           “Of course,” Roman nodded sagely. “Where else would one eat Oreos?”

           “Exactly. You so get me.”

           Roman watched him for a moment as he upended the bag to pour the rest of the chips into his mouth. “So why the roof?”

           Virgil swallowed his mouthful. “I thought my gargoyle aesthetic was pretty self-explanatory, but I guess not.”

           “Gargoyle?”

           “I’m a gothic gay disaster. Is there any other reason someone like me would be chilling on a roof other than to emulate a gargoyle?”

           “When it comes to you, I’m finding that there are infinite possibilities to the reasons why you do things and none of them I would have ever guessed.”

           Virgil narrowed his eyes. He probably would have appeared more threatening without the cheesy crumbs littering his mouth, but whatever. It was all about the eyes yo. “I can’t tell if that was an insult or a compliment.”

           With a flourish, Roman straightened and gestured to himself. “Coming from a writer such as myself? Yes, it was most definitely a compliment.”

           “Hm,” Virgil hummed noncommittally. He balled up the chip bag, relishing in the sound of the plastic crumbling. He threw a leg over the roof’s edge to hang in the air casually.

           The chill in the air nipped at his cheeks. Had he not been dressed in his usual hoodie, it’d probably be cold. He wondered if Roman was cold, standing down there in shorts and no sleeves. He didn’t look cold, expression one of interest as he was content to stand there.

           Virgil wanted to ask him about his work, what kind of things he wrote, because truthfully Virgil would have took one look at him and never thought ‘writer’. Instead, he blurted, “Weren’t you going to go, like, do jock stuff?”

           “I was, but then I found a cute little kitten stuck up on a roof,” Roman said with a smile so sweet that his eyes smiled too. “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant cute little gargoyle.”

           “Damn right I am,” Virgil said confidently, not feeling confident in the slightest, but Roman didn’t have to know that. As it was, Virgil called on the powers of God and anime to will away any inkling of a blush that might dare to tinge his corpse pale cheeks. He didn’t exactly prepare to be flirted with this morning by his hot neighbor.

           Oh God.

           Wait.

           . . . was his hot neighbor actually flirting with him?

           Okay, okay Virgil. Don’t be a dweeb. It’s not like you’re so socially repressed that you barely leave the house and work from home and nobody has flirted with you since high school except that that love letter wasn’t actually supposed to go in your locker in the first place and you didn’t realize until after you asked them out, talk about childhood trauma, yeesh—

           “Virgil?” Roman asked.

           He snapped violently out of his memories, responding too loudly, “Yeah! I’m here!” And really? ‘I’m here?’ Virgil briefly contemplated whether or not Roman would be alarmed if he tried to choke himself on the balled up Cheetos bag.

           “I was just going to ask if you made a habit of sitting on the roof every morning,” Roman inquired. “It’d be nice to see a friendly face before I head out on my morning runs.”

           “Uh, yeah, I watch the sunrise every morning so—” He slapped a hand over his mouth. Oh fuck, he didn’t mean to say that.

           Roman’s eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline. “You watch the sunrise?” he asked, and yeah, it was time for Virgil to yeet himself from the roof.

           “Uh, I mean,” he floundered for some response that didn’t make him look like the flowery sap he truly was. “I sit up on the roof every morning to glare at the sun.”

           “To . . . glare at the sun?”

           “Yeah, just in case he gets any bright ideas,” he punned without thinking and he deadass would have actually jumped from the roof after that if Roman hadn’t chuckled good-naturedly and rolled with it.

           “Can’t have that, now can we? All of us mere mortals are indebted to you and your bravery.”

           “Well, uh, yeah,” Virgil said and finger-gunned at him.

           God help him, he couldn’t stop.

           The sky had lightened by this point. The first sun rays pierced through the cool fog haunting the suburban streets. Roman glanced towards the backyard where the orange haze originated. In that moment, with the soft breeze lifting his wavy brown locks, Virgil wondered why on earth Roman had settled for being a scriptwriter and not an actor.

           “You know . . .” Roman began, lips tugging up and eyes warming in the sun’s glow. “I like to ‘glare’ at the sunrise too, on occasion. It’s magnificent, isn’t it?”

           Virgil wasn’t sure why, but he felt the urge to hug his knees to his chest. “Um, yeah . . . It’s nice.”

           Roman didn’t seem to mind his weird quirks. He didn’t belittle or laugh at him, nor did he run away. It was a lot more than what Virgil expected when he heard they were getting new neighbors.

            “It’s a nice sight to see before you sleep,” Virgil admitted. “I usually go to bed afterwards.”

            “Then surely you have the sweetest of dreams,” Roman smiled at him.

            Virgil snorted and threw the crumbled up Cheetos bag at him. “Just because you’re a writer doesn’t give you an excuse to talk like a dork.”

            “On the contrary, it gives me all the more reason!” he declared. “And honestly, darling, you must stop with the throwing of chip bags at people. Aren’t gargoyles supposed to be symbols of protection?”

            “I’m protecting my sanity.”

            Roman laughed in a carefree way that made Virgil want to smile too. However, the front door to Roman’s house opened and his roommate shuffled out. The bespectacled man looked ready to head out for work but paused upon seeing them.

            “Oh, good, Virgil,” Logan called out.

            Virgil stiffened. Never in his life had he wanted to be an actual gargoyle more than he did now, because currently he was unable to ward off the evil coming right for him.

            “Virgil, I’ve been meaning to have a word with you,” Logan said, stopping beside Roman.

            “I’m sorry, my people need me, I must go,” Virgil said, moving to crawl to the other side of the roof.

            “Wait, please, I’m afraid we got off on the wrong start—”

            “What gave you that idea?”

            “You threw a chip bag at my face.”

            Roman placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “It’s a sign of affection really.”

            Logan shook his head. “I only wanted to extend an invitation to you and your roommate to join us for dinner sometime, in the hopes that we can get better acquainted.”

            “Or so you can lure us into your evil lair.”

            “Virgil, I am not a vampire.”

            “That’s just what a vampire would say!” Virgil hissed.

            “Virgil, please.”

             Virgil thrust out a finger to point at him accusingly. “If you’re not a vampire, I demand proof.”

              “I . . .” Logan looked down at himself and then up at the sun shining directly on them. He glanced at Roman beseechingly.

              “You heard the man,” Roman said with a teasing grin. “Prove it.”

              The light of hope dulled in Logan’s eyes. “I know where you sleep at night, Prince.”

              Roman’s eyes went comically wide. “Good Heavens, he’s out for blood! Is that a glimpse of fang I spy? Virgil, dearest, run now before it’s too late!”

              “Roman!” Logan surged forward but was a second too late. Roman had already fled, cackling down the sidewalk as he ran with Logan hot on his tail.

              Virgil watched them go, contemplating whether or not he should take a bath before he hit the hay. From beside him, his walkie-talkie crackled.

              “Virgil, honey, did you eat the last of my Cheetos?”

              Virgil eyed the device and considered the benefits of living on the roof from now on.

              “I know you’re on the roof. I can smell your guilt from here. I won’t hesitate bitch.”

Tag list:  @spectralheartt @a-pastel-pan @notalwaysthevillian @rose-gold-roman @ijustrealizedhowdumbmynamewas @katie-the-noble-fangirl @yourroyalydramaticanxiousness @aroundofapplesauce @merlybird500 @beach-fan @jemthebookworm @whats-going-on-kiddos @roman-red-aesthetic @joyful-milkshake-observation @lizziepopanime @ab-artist (let me know if you want to be added or removed from this story’s tag list)