#my wife: like 98% of the time it does!

[novelconcepts]

I’m always a sucker for when a character flaw is a direct foil to a character’s finest trait.

For example: if I see an actor (usually female or nonbinary, though not always), and they absolutely hit the first time out the gate, I will hyperfixate like a motherfucker and devour everything they’ve ever done! A fan for life! I’ll invent reasons to enjoy even their worst work! I’m a champion for this person’s art, goddammit!

But if the first time I saw an actor, he was playing an absolutely DOGSHIT dude—even though I am 5000% aware of and embrace the fact that an actor is Not their character—

Get that man out of my face. Never wanna see him again. Get him ouuuuutta here. I am begging.

[starlostseungmin]

husband!seungmin

✰ notes: my brain is not working properly and idk if i could write any lengthy fics as of the moment but here’s husband seungmin because i’m bored and i love our puppy so much. not proofread. DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS! thank you <33

（ seungmin ）chan , lee know , jeongin , han , changbin , felix , hyunjin.

ꔛ

Husband Seungmin who cried when he saw you walking down the aisle with a big smile on his face thinking that he’s the luckiest man on earth to marry you. He couldn’t wait for the priest to finally announce you as husband and wife then kisses you in front of your friends and family. 

Husband Seungmin whose love language is act of service and words of affirmation with a little bit of gift-giving. 

Husband Seungmin who is still shy about engaging in physical touch. But when he does, he gets really clingy and refuses to let you go. You never complain. He also loves looking at you dreamingly while you sleepーwhispering how much he loves you and kisses your forehead before going to sleep, hugging you tightly. 

Husband Seungmin who cooks every morning before going to workーsometimes at nightーand holds your hand while brewing coffee as he steals kisses whenever you aren’t looking. 

Husband Seungmin who would take the day off from work just to stay home and take care of you when you’re sick. He won’t allow you to move and insist that he’ll do everything you ask for. 

Husband Seungmin who gets a bit possessive when someone who seems interested in you makes a conversation so he’d kiss your lips out of the blue and say, “We’re married.” then show off your wedding rings. 

Husband Seungmin who doesn’t pressure you to have kids with him since he respects whatever decision you make. It doesn’t matter anyway, as long as the two of you are together, that’s enough for him. 

Husband Seungmin who is still feeling nervous when he asks you out on a date. It would always feel like the first timeーhis heart racing, cheeks red as a tomato, the giddiness and sparks, everything goes in slow-motion. He would take you to your favorite places and have the best time. 

Husband Seungmin who loves tea time and is literally serving you hot gossip from workーlaughing at how everyone was so dumb and problematic in the industry. 

Husband Seungmin who used to prefer texts over calls but now he tends to call you often because he misses you. He would also wait for you to hang up first.

Husband Seungmin who would hug you tightly while kissing the crown of your head and whisper words that might comfort you when you’re breaking down and vulnerable in front of him. He would refuse to leave until you feel better. 

Husband Seungmin who makes weird noises and funny faces just to make you laugh. 

Husband Seungmin who acts like a puppy when he wants to be babied and asks for a kiss. 

Husband Seungmin who treats you like royalty. 

Husband Seungmin who gets over the moon when you surprise him with lots of (useful) Sanrio-related gifts. Mostly Pochacco and Pompompurin with a little bit of Cinnamon Roll. 

Husband Seungmin who loves to take A LOT of pictures of you with his phone or camera. You’d complain (playfully) about his storage getting full but he doesn’t mind because you are his muse. 

Husband Seungmin who brings you flowers on random days because they remind him of you. 

Husband Seungmin who kisses your lips intimately because he wants to. It could happen multiple times a day which could lead to something moreーmost of the time. 

Husband Seungmin who would walk away after an argument and come back hours later to apologize. 

Husband Seungmin who doesn’t want you to see him cry but gives in when you hug him. 

Husband Seungmin who gets brutally honest, cries over silly things, and does his little twerk when drunk but still cute as hell. 

Husband Seungmin who always scores 98-100 on coin karaoke and gets cocky. He knows you love listening to him when he sings and gladly does the favor when you ask him to—wherever, whenever. 

Husband Seungmin who is always good at everything. 

Husband Seungmin who doesn’t say “I love you,” most of the time but expresses it in different ways or says it with the things he feels about you. 

Husband Seungmin whose smile is the most precious in the world. You promised not to take it away and never make him cry. 

Husband Seungmin who loves you so much, makes you happy, never fails to make your heart beat, makes you feel loved and accepts you no matter what your flaws are. 

✰ taglist: @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[lamemaster]

Made of Sugar

Request: Hi! Hope this finds you well, mind if i req for a Thranduil x reader where they're like telling legolas how they met, maybe they met during the war of the last alliance? anyways love ur work especially the angst but now i need some not angst? cus im actually going to cry lmao

Pairing: Thranduil x Wife Reader

Genre: Fluff

AN: This has been due a long time! I'm sorry for the delay but this writer suffers from smooth brain 98% of the time.

“Legolas Thranduilion!” Your voice rings out loud, breaking his thoughts. For once, he wishes his father's presence was there. “Have I not made it clear that you are not to go to the wine cellars?” You pinch your nose blinking furiously as was your habit when agitated. 

Legolas hasn’t known love stronger than the one he has felt for you, his eme. Your stories, your songs, the little stars you paint on the roof of his room– Legolas absorbs them with the wide-eyed devotion of a sunflower turning its face to the first rays of the sun.  

But all that love does not diminish the distress of your anger. You, the one who laughed most easily, whose smile could chase away any shadow, were now a storm cloud gathered over his head.

The familiar scent of cinnamon and woodsmoke that clung to you did little to soothe the storm brewing in your eyes. Legolas flinched – he knew the terrifying, steely glint that hardened your gaze when truly angered. It was a sight rarer than a dust storm in Greenwood, but all the more impactful when it came. 

 At barely 80 years old, facing your wrath felt far more daunting than any monstrous spider lurking in the Greenwood.

"You are too young," you said, your voice tight. "Just you wait until I tell Thranduil." You paced around the room, pinching the bridge of your nose, a telltale sign of your agitation. "Maybe he will listen and move the wine cellars away from the main palace."

Staring at the untouched cakes, Legolas yearned for nothing more than for this tension to pass. He longed to see your easy smile return.  The sight of untouched cakes, usually a source of joy, only emphasized the heavy weight of your displeasure. He longed for the days when your laughter filled the room, chasing away any shadow.

“Beloved queen of mine,” Thranduil sauntered in, his footsteps barely a whisper on the polished floor. The scent of pine needles and leather, a familiar trail, announced his presence even before he entered. “The cellar unfortunately cannot be moved.” Thranduil is already in the process of taking off his heavy robes while detangling his hair from the crown's tiny branches.

Legolas watched with a flicker of worry as your eyes narrowed in annoyance before you gave up to help his ada. "He went in there today," your gaze felt heavy on him even as you busied yourself helping Thranduil detangle the crown. "What if he drank your wine? That thing is disgusting and Legolas is too young. You must move the wine somewhere else." You placed the crown on the table.

Thranduil threw him an amused grin as your back remained turned to them as you instructed the staff to bring fresh snacks and tea. "What if I didn't get there in time…good thing Feren was kind enough to inform me."

"I am disappointed Legolas," Thranduil looked at him without an ounce of anger, and your glare at the king of Greenwood told him that this did not go unnoticed by you. "But I am sorry, my love," He looked up at you with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes, "The cellars must remain untouched. I would never in a million ages, change the place of our first meeting."

Legolas' breath hitched in his throat. You frowned. And Thranduil snickered in delight.

"You cannot be serious!" You replied indignantly.

"You met in the wine cellars?!" Legolas asked at the same time.

"We did, ion," Thranduil adds before you can cover his lips with your palm. Thranduil throws his head back and lets out a hearty laugh, the sound echoing through the room. A weird sight to see you this flustered, this agitated.

"We did not!"

"We absolutely did!"

"Well, I was 120," you say, a blush creeping up your cheeks. "You were not  princeling."

The servants gawk at the term of endearment that slips past your lips. Some almost drop the trays of food as they put them in front of you. But both you and Thranduil are too taken by the task of bickering like decade-old elflings. "Oh yeah, I too was of age," Thranduil counters with a twinkle in his eye. "Almost of age. Only 4 years shy of it."

Thranduil straightens up, taking a playful bite into a fruit cake. "Four years too young, my love," you smirk, the topic of Legolas' transgression long forgotten. The steel of your rage softened into its original inky warmth.

"I acquiesce, my respected elder," Thranduil bows dramatically, sending another wave of laughter through the room. Legolas watched in amusement, a flicker of relief washing over him as the conversation shifted. Your voices rose in a playful argument.

Legolas, eyeing the untouched cakes, finally understood. Your gentle nature thrived beside his father, much like the sweetness of a cake is best appreciated with a pinch of salt.

[cambion-companion]

“Just let me finish this and I swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.” (144) lets get down to bussines

Part 2 of "Spray of Blood"

Word count: 2724

reader gets lost trying to run back to King's Landing and Aemond, still splattered in blood, has to find her and bring her back to safety.

haha this is a joint effort it seems! Also I have wanted to write reader sitting on Aemond's face so thank you for #86

28. i’m just getting comfy

74. “Do you want me to stay?”

86. “don’t be shy now, sit on my face.”

98. “if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

Aemond x wife!reader | smutty ending | 18+ only | fluff and a sprinkle of angst | Aemond isn't super happy lmao

You were lost.

Cursing, you stopped in the middle of the empty street, turning on the spot, surveying your unfamiliar surroundings.

"Fuck me sideways." You muttered, taking a moment to rub your aching temples.

You had indulged in too much spiced wine at the festival, muddling your already questionable orienteering skills.

"If the lady insists." A hissing voice accompanied a slender man emerging from the shadows of a stone building.

He held no weapon, seeming to think you easy prey as he strode forward, already unbuckling his trousers.

You still held the stone you had picked up when Aemond had confronted the men in the market, and so you collected your frayed nerves, taking careful aim as Aemond had taught you.

You threw the shard of brick, it struck true with a dull thud to the man's head. He went down like a sack of flour, hitting the damp cobblestones with a dull thud.

Shaking, you hurried on your way, in the direction you hoped the Red Keep was in. At least you were still walking uphill, that seemed to be a good sign.

After a few minutes of meandering, warm yellow light fell upon your face, a tavern in front of you that appeared cozy and welcoming. As you entered, you noticed a few other patrons, but the dining area and counter was mostly empty. A squat looking man was stacking dishware behind the bar counter as you took a seat.

He gave you a cursory glance with a raised eyebrow, you shifted to hide the fine fabric of your dress beneath the cloak you still wore. You pulled back your hood, wanting to be recognizable if Aemond passed the window searching for you.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked in a gruff baritone, seeming not to care what brought you to his establishment so long as you had gold.

"Do you have hot tea? Or something non-alcoholic?" You asked. "I just came from the fire festival and had a bit too much to drink there."

"Ah I see!" The man smiled, his ruddy cheeks reflecting the candlelight. "Yes, I can get you some green tea brewed up. Does wonders for a hangover."

"Thank you."

Minutes passed, turning to hours as you sat at the uncomfortable wooden table. You drank several mugs of steaming earthy tea, enjoying the way it warmed your body from the inside out.

"Are ye waiting for someone?" The bartender looked at you quizzically, clearly wondering why you were remaining for so long. All the other patrons had left for their homes by now.

"Yes, my husband."

"You're lost?"

You shifted uneasily in your seat, casting him a wary glance.

He raised his hands, a towel draped over his shoulder. "I mean you no harm miss, but if you'd like directions, I can give them." He glanced outside at the dark streets. "Though perhaps it best if you wait here, it's not safe for anyone to be wandering about right now."

"Where am I?"

He chuckled looked at you with a fatherly smile. "Outskirts of Flea Bottom."

You groaned.

"Not where you intended to be I expect. Not wearing a dress like that."

You shifted your cloak to cover yourself better.

"You have nothing to fear from me." The keeper reiterated. "I'll not cast you out till your husband comes to fetch you."

"Thank you." You lay your head upon your hands, staring glassy eyed out the window, praying to all the gods Aemond would find you.

You had fallen into a doze, jolted awake by the sound of the inn door slamming open and the exclamation of the barkeep still behind his counter.

Aemond, glorious with his shining hair and piercing violet eye, strode into the tavern, his gaze locked onto you.

"My-my prince! What an unexpected..." The tavern keeper trailed off as he watched Aemond walking purposefully toward you.

You rose from your seat, throwing your arms around Aemond's neck as he pulled you against him, his hands at your back, stroking soothingly as he kissed your ear.

You tried your best not to sob. "Aemond, I got lost."

"You're the wife of Aemond Targaryen?"

The two of you broke apart to turn to the front of the room, where the keeper was bowing low.

"He helped keep me safe." You interlocked your fingers with Aemond's.

Your husband stepped up to the rough wood counter, depositing a bag of clinking coins onto its surface. "You have my gratitude."

The man continued to bow, averting his gaze. Aemond made a soft "hmm" in the back of his throat, guiding you out of the warm room into the cool night air.

You didn't get far before he pulled you to a stop, his taut face illuminated silver in the moonlight. "I've been searching for you for hours, Y/N."

"I-"

He held up a hand to stop you from speaking. "You were not in our rooms. So, I returned to the square as quickly as I could, asking anyone still outside if they had seen you."

You looked down at your feet guiltily as Aemond continued.

"Imagine my surprise when I find a man collapsed upon the ground, a stone beside him and a lump on his forehead."

"He...had ill intentions." You whispered, still studying your shoes.

"Hmm. A shame I left him alive then." Aemond's fingers hooked under your chin, pulling your face to look up at him. "However, that is how I found you sitting in that tavern."

You slowly moved forward, tentatively wrapping your arms around Aemond's waist. You could tell how worn and anxious he was, specks of blood still upon his tunic from the men he'd dispatched earlier that evening.

"Aemond, I'm sorry for getting lost. I...was panicking and a little drunk." You smiled weakly as his face softened, his lilac eye roving your features as you rubbed small circles to the small of his back.

"I had intended this to be a relaxing evening of fun." Aemond said, giving a short laugh of derision. He cupped your face in his hands. You noticed they shook slightly. "I was beside myself with worry, Y/N." He brushed his soft lips to yours gently. "This is not a place for a woman to wander alone."

"You have me safe now, Aemond."

"And safe is where I will keep you."

He kissed you firmly, slanting his mouth over yours, his fingers tangling in your hair as you made a soft noise against him. In the tension of his body against your own you felt how worked up he was from the events of the night, the intensity with which he kissed you promised bruised lips in the morning.

“If we weren’t in public right now I'd have my head between your legs."

"Aemond." You whispered, shocked, as you checked over your shoulder for anyone listening. The streets were luckily empty, though several windows were wide open.

"Come." The prince grasped your hand firmly in his and began leading you in the correct direction of the Red Keep.

You breathed a sigh of relief at the welcome sight of your chambers, lit with the orange glow of a blazing fire in the hearth that you immediately crossed to stand before, warming your hands.

Your large, clawed bathtub sat full of steaming water in the middle of the room.

Aemond came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle, his chin resting on your shoulder.

"I had the servants draw a bath for your return, we are fortunate it seems to still be hot."

You felt him beginning to loosen the ties of your dress. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked, nuzzling into your neck. "I'd understand if you need to be alone. It has been a...difficult evening."

"Please stay, Aemond. I need you with me, especially right now."

He kissed your neck and resumed undoing your dress. You smiled to yourself at his evident eagerness to see you laid bare before him.

The fabric of your dress and undergarments pooled around your feet, you leaned into Aemond's warm touch as he fondled the curves of your ass and hips with one hand, his other reaching around to stroke at your breasts.

You turned to him, allowing his gaze to roam your firelit body. "You are still covered in blood, my lord husband." Your wandering fingers began undoing the clasps of his own clothing, shedding each garment with tender care until he was as naked as you, his thick member already standing at attention.

You smiled coyly at him, allowing him to support your balance as you stepped into the hot water of the bath. You sank down into the silken water, scooting forward enough for Aemond to take his place behind you.

You pressed your back against him, your hands running along his legs as they caged your body, his arms wrapping around your torso.

"I'm just getting comfy." You murmured, leaning back so that your head rested against Aemond's chest, looking up at his adoring gaze.

He had removed his eyepatch, the sapphire gemstone glittering dazzlingly by the reflection of firelight against the water that now lapped against the edges of the wooden tub.

The two of you rested like this together, rubbing each other down with soap and wash cloths. You took your time cleansing Aemond's skin, feeling the knots in his tense muscles and kneading them loose, his eye fluttered shut at your loving attentions.

Only when the water had cooled and the two of you began to shiver, did you exit the bath, helping each other towel down until you were relatively dry. Aemond grabbed your waist, pulling you in for another scorching kiss, one of many he'd bestowed upon you that night.

"Lay on the bed for me."

You obeyed, perhaps misinterpreting his meaning as you wrapped yourself in your nightrobe before getting comfortable in bed. You watched Aemond from your cocoon of blankets as he busied himself trying to get the stains out of his tunic and undershirt.

"Aemond..." You called quietly, trying to entice him over with the lilt of your voice.

"The blood has set into the fabric long enough, Y/N. Give me a moment to try and lift it."

"Aemond." You wiggled beneath the covers, seeking to draw his gaze.

“Just let me finish this and I swear I'll go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

"If you don't come over here now, I'm going to start touching myself."

You knew just what to threaten.

With a growl, Aemond threw down his ruined shirt upon the sofa, striding to the bed and throwing the blankets off your body. "Take that off." His dilated eye took in your tantalizing curves wrapped up in your fluffy nightrobe.

"I'm cold."

"Do not tease me anymore this eve." Aemond crawled over your prone form, dragging his teeth along your bottom lip. "You heard me. Take. It. Off."

You undid the tie around your waist, shifting the fabric off, exposing yourself once more to your husband's eager touch. His fingers rolled your pebbling nipples, tugging at your flesh, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from your lips as you arched into him.

"Already so wet for me." Aemond murmured against your lips, his hand cupping your sex, feeling between your slick folds.

You gasped at the feeling of him exploring you. In a fluid motion, you rolled your entwined bodies over, shifting to sit on his torso, looking down at Aemond's face, his curved lips parted in surprise.

"I want to be on top." You could barely speak, so entranced you were at the sight of him laid beneath you, his silver hair spread out atop the pillows. "Let me do this, please."

You rocked your hips, feeling his hard arousal beneath you as you stroked your vulva along Aemond's shaft. His eyelid fluttered at the sensation, his hands rising to grip your hips as you lost yourself in the feeling of him.

"Don’t be shy now, sit on my face.”

Your mouth parted, Aemond tugged you a little forward by his grip on your hips. "Are-are you sure I won't suffocate you?"

Aemond laughed. "If you do, I couldn't think of a better way to go."

Heat pooled in your belly as you scooted forward, bracing your hands against the bedframe as you hovered on your knees over Aemond's face. "You're sure?"

"Y/N."

Aemond rose just enough to tease your entrance with his nose, nuzzling against your swollen clit. You gasped, lowered yourself rather gracelessly onto his angular face.

You quivered, feeling Aemond's tongue working against you as you rocked gently against him. His chin, his nose all pressed against your most sensitive parts. The wet sound of him lapping up your essence filled the darkened room.

"Oh Aemond." You gripped the bedframe tighter, making sure to not actually suffocate your husband with your cunt no matter how he tried to pull you more against his searching mouth, his fingers pressing deep against the flesh of your thighs.

He grunted, the vibration of his voice causing you to clench around the tip of his tongue as he fucked it into you. His nose continued pressing and rubbing against your clit, Aemond moving his whole face with your movements as you began to grind down on him, losing your self control.

His name spilled from your panting mouth, your climax rushing over you like waves upon the sea cliffs. Aemond drank you down eagerly, his tongue lapping you up as though you tasted of the finest wine. You rode out your orgasm on his face, your legs shaking as you lifted yourself off him, collapsing to the mattress as your husband rolled over you once more. His hair was a mess, his lips and chin soaked from your juices. You bit your bottom lip at the lewd sight, his eye tracking the movement.

Aemond kissed you, more gently than you had anticipated, his tongue searching your mouth, allowing you to taste your own release as he lined his cock to your entrance. You gripped the back of his head, gasping against him as he sunk slowly into you. Aemond's breath filled your lungs as his cock stretched you out deliciously, filling you until he was fully seated within your still quivering walls.

Aemond broke your kiss, pulling away enough to watch your face as he began rutting into you. His gentleness gave way to a rougher, more desperate pace, his cock brushing your cervix with every punishing stroke. You clung to him, your legs rising instinctively to allow him deeper access.

"Y/N." Aemond breathed your name like a prayer, his chest still flush against your own as he nibbled the shell of your ear. "I can feel you tightening around me." You cried out as he increased his pace still more, fucking you deep into the mattress. "I need you to come. Show me you're mine." His cock twitched inside you. "Mine alone to claim."

"I am yours, Aemond." You felt your second orgasm of the night begin to rush through your body, your spasming quim already beginning to milk his member. "Forever yours."

Your name, so sweet on Aemond's tongue, filled the night air, mingling with your wordless moans of ecstasy as your husband spilled his hot seed within your clenching cunt. He pushed himself as deep into you as he could, remaining rooted there until you had both come down from the high of your climax.

Your legs were shaking in earnest now, Aemond reluctantly pulled away, his cum spilling out of you onto the now ruined bedsheets. Exhausted, satiated, and heedless of the mess you'd made, Aemond pulled you against him, encasing you in his arms. He placed a kiss to the top of your head as you made a pillow of his chest, his legs still tangled with your own.

Sleep took you quickly, a lock of Aemond's silken hair wrapped around your forefinger as you had a habit of doing when seeking comfort.

Aemond lay awake for a long while after you had drifted off, his mind still alive with the fear and rage that had consumed him mere hours before. Bedding you had taken the edge off, however the many gruesome possibilities of what could have happened remained unbidden and unwelcome.

He held you tighter against his lithe body, feeling the reassuring rise and fall of your chest on his, the light snores emitting from your slack mouth. Eventually exhaustion overtook Aemond, his eye falling closed, his lips still pressed to your head even in sleep.

[qiupachups]

hobie brown

.｡.+*☆ headcannons 🎸💭

contents: general hcs, london based hobes bc i live there

a/n: my wife! the picture above is ‘stay close to me— omega sessions’ by bad brains (super cute song and so hobie)

When he’s not playing shows, antagonising fascists, or staging unpermitted political action slash performance art pieces— Hobie takes care of his garden. There’s just about anything growing on his canal boat that can survive London.

It’s fun just like him! He can repurpose whatever he finds into a planter, which includes old Henry Hoovers.

Most things we take for granted are ridiculously scarce in his world, like running hot water. Not wanting to waste this luxury, Hobie developed the skill of taking extremely fast showers.

Sometimes it feels like he steps in and comes straight out. It’s a little unnerving.

Once a month, Hobie does a super deep clean of his canal boat. He finds all sorts of inter-dimensional trash he’s collected over the weeks. After heaving it off the deck, you swear the boat groaned in relief.

Where does it all go? Miguel’s dimension, of course. The man didn’t have to guess the mystery fly-tipper when he saw the bags flickering through the colour spectrum. In Hobie’s defence, the waste disposal system is better in Earth-98.

If you hadn’t realised yet, Hobie is a methodical and thoughtful spidey. He plans for the best times to grow his produce and harvests them at the perfect time (not always since he’s usually… busy).

After freezing or preserving the amount he needs, he gives the rest to his community. So, expect some strawberry jam materialising at your doorstep.

For as longer as he remembers, Hobie could always cook. There was never a time he didn’t help feed his community or volunteer at F.E.A.S.T— even with his responsibilities post spider-bite.

In Hobie’s eyes, there’s nothing better than a good home-cooked meal. He can make something (amazing) from nothing so you can trust him even when it feels like there’s just dust left in the cupboard.

Multiple spideys can agree that Hobie’s singing isn’t the best. When Gwendy gave him a very forced smile, it only broke his heart a little. The face of Hobie’s idol basically admitting his singing sucks isn’t a big deal. Duh. He’s a big girl— he can handle that…

Thankfully, playing his MaryJane (guitar) more than makes up for it. If he’s not using it to torment police, he’ll make the best damn art that’s gonna stick in your head rent free.

With at least eleven piercings and counting, the dos and don’ts of them are like second nature to Hobie. That’s only eleven we can see— who knows how many more he has hidden? Without a doubt, there’ll be more to come.

Instead of getting blood poisoning from Claires or judged by a pretentious tattoo artist, go to Hobie. He’ll refuse payment but he wouldn’t turn down a drink.

Hobie isn’t called the Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man for nothing. His genuine (almost violent) care for his community has earned him the respect of basically everyone, despite their initial concerns.

“A dependable young man.” That’s how the elderly women tend to describe Hobie. They’re his biggest allies since he’d drop almost anything to help them cross a road or carry groceries.

Gwendy’s chucks aren’t the first and certainly won’t be the last thing he’ll steal. (You seriously think Hobie just happened to have shoes in her size and colour?)

He’ll definitely nick something of something of yours when you’re not looking. Once you realise, he’ll hold it high above your head and force you to jump for it. Why? Because he can.

Like every other British teen, Hobie’s dabbled in some underage drinking. It’s not illegal if you don’t get caught! When he’s drunk, he’ll be obnoxiously sweet and yell stuff like “You’re gorgeous, luv!” because he truly means it.

In addition to Hobie’s strange array of skills, being good at pub games is another. Beer pong, darts, etc… you name it: he’ll clear it. Hell, he might start organising them if he’s drunk enough.

In his personal humble opinion, roses are way too cliche for a romantic gift. It’s overdone, boring and stupidly difficult to obtain in his universe. So instead, Hobie rips off that patch you’ve been eyeing and gifts that to you.

As much as he’d like to, Hobie couldn’t rip off every patch for you. Instead, he makes a matching set and he’s cheesy enough to sew his one over his heart.

tag: @vhstown thanks for bean card xx

[missunderstood-with-ideas]

Mission impossible 3 was Ethan’s feral cat biting era. (I’m serious he bit like 4 people in the span of 2hrs Julia please vaccinate your husband. Luther come get ur boy)

Which is funny cuz Julia straight up domesticated Ethan. The cat distribution system worked to well and Julia got a husband with a cat personality instead of a plain and normal cat.

Ethan probably wandered over and Julia just picked him up and took him home. She literally got hobo!Ethan who canonically sleeps in barns/abandoned warehouses/hotel rooms/garages/streets and is legitimately a squatter to sleep in her bed and live with her (it has to be her house, Ethan credit is probably like a 6, the insurance company’s hates and loves him at the same time. If he does have a good credit score it’s 98% faked/hacked by Luther who looks at his peasant friend and feels bad) which btw has the same energy as a human seeing a feral cat on the side of the road and just picking them up and taking them home *your my friend now! And then casually catnaps them*

Ethan also give off the outdoor farmcat attitude of stopping by and living in the house for some days then disappearing back to its colony or back to work. Liked a shared custody case. The other spies be like bro wtf have you been??? And Ethan will be like I got myself a wife, food, and a roof over my head by just giving her all my affection wby? How’s living in that barn rn?

In conclusion Ethan hunt is a feral cat who was pretty enough to get adopted by a single but gorgeous women.

Discuss if u must

[austinshotbutlers]

The Wedding Date

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: Instagram posts during the events of The Wedding Date series.

A/N: Now I’ve completed the series, I can post my last two accompanying social media edits!

Liked by livvyliv, pennygarcia and 57 others

yourinstagram on the hunt for a cab 🫡 and he said he’d carry my shoes🥹

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livvyliv true gentlemen defend their woman and carry her shoes

↳ sarahY/L/N punching an innocent guy in the face in not gentlemanly

↳ livvyliv define ‘innocent’ for me because that asshole is anything but

↳ lukethedude the bastard nearly broke my nose

emily.prentiss I have been trying to call you for two days. CALL ME BACK!

↳ derekmorgan Y/L/N is too busy getting loved up to take your calls

↳ drsreid that’s kind of gross…

pennygarcia drama in the comments?

↳ yourinstagram you don’t wanna know

Liked by thomas1980 and 123 others

sarahY/L/N rehearsal dinner!!! Less that 24 ours until we’re married!!!

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thomas1980 can’t wait to see you tomorrow baby

↳ sarahY/L/N can you believe we’ll be Mr and Mrs this time tomorrow!

lukethedude is Y/N still the maid of honour?

↳ yourinstagram why??? Are you offering to take my place? Busted up nose won’t go with the dress unfortunately.

↳ lukethedude it wouldn’t be busted up if you didn’t bring that asshole boyfriend

↳ sarahY/L/N can you two please just STOP IT

Liked by thomas1980 and 132 others

sarahY/L/N Wedding day!!!!!

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thomas1980 fiancé ❌ wife ✅

↳ sarahY/L/N I like the sound of that

Liked by yourinstagram, ahotch and 102 other

livvyliv don’t we make perfect bridemaids?

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yourinstagram let’s hope we don’t outshine bridezilla!

↳ sarahY/L/N you know I can see this right?

pennygarcia OH MY GOD!!! That colour looks so good on you

ahotch 🖤

↳ drsreid why is Hotch commenting?

↳ pennygarcia oh my god what does this mean????

Liked by ahotch, livvyliv and 98 others

yourinstagram I only want to go to weddings if you’ll be my date 🖤

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derek.morgan oh girl you’re down bad!

livvyliv why are you guys so cute?

↳ emily.prentiss I was thinking the same!

jennifer.jay I want to know who this mystery man is!!!

↳ pennygarcia same!

↳ jennifer.jay emily definitely knows something

↳ emily.prentiss 🤐🤐🤐

Liked by yourinstagram, livvyliv and 187 others

sarahburns I’m officially Mrs Burns!!!

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yourinstagram so happy for you sissy🫶🏻 i love you!

↳ sarahburns sissy, you’re going to make me cry 🥺

thomas1980 that’s my WIFE!

ahotch congratulations.

[marnerparty]

moth to a flame

Mitch Marner x reader x Auston Matthews

warnings: mentions of sex, infidelity

————————————————————————

The first time it happened was supposed to be the only time. Y/N told herself that she truly did love Mitch. After all, there was a reason that she was marrying him.

But then there was his teammate. Auston.

And as much as she hated to say it, she couldn’t help but gravitate towards him. And now anytime she was around him, she couldn’t say no.

“Like a moth to a flame, I'll pull you in”

———

“This is so wrong.” Y/N sighed as Auston’s lips found the sweet spot on her neck.

“Then tell me to stop.” He threatened as his mouth moved lower and lower. All Y/N could do was look at the ceiling of the empty conference room. She wanted to stop. To tell Auston this was a bad idea, and that they shouldn’t be doing this.

But this was the best she’d felt in a long time.

“Don’t stop.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. Auston momentarily stopped his actions as he looked the woman in her eye.

“Are you sure?” He asked as reassurance, knowing her relationship with her fiancé, and his relationship with his best friend, could be over. She shook her head ‘no’ before leaning in and kissing him.

———

All was quiet in the house except for the buzz of the hockey game on TV. Y/N watched intently as the Leafs were taking care of the Candiens just fine.

She would usually travel wherever her fiancé, Mitch, would be, but that drunken night with Austin weeks ago, and all of the times after that, stopped all of her travel.

She knew she should be rooting the most for Mitch, but whenever the camera panned to Auston, her heart fluttered.

The ring of Y/N’s phone pulled her from thoughts. She wondered how long she’d been spacing out as she looked up to see the game was over. The Caller ID on her phone read the name of her fiancé, and a small smile grew.

“Hey Mitchy.” Y/N breathed out. She could practically see his eyes role at the nickname.

“Hey babe.” He responded easily. “How’s my girl?”

His girl. Was she his girl?

“I’m good.” She said as she cleared her throat. “I watched the entire game. It was amazing, I’m so proud of you! 98 points now!” Y/N said sincerely. He laughed on the other side of the line, no doubt blushing.

“God, I love you, Y/N. I can’t wait to make you my wife.” Y/N nodded to herself, unsure of how to react. She should be happier than ever- she’s marrying the man of her dreams. The boy she dated when they were young. The kid she grew up with.

“Y/N? Still there?” She heard Mitch ask as the tear she didn’t know escaped rolled down her cheek.

“Right here love. Sorry, just, uh, thinking.”

“God, I know.” He said. “I’ve been doing so much of that. I can’t wait to have the perfect wedding. It’s still so surreal.” Before Y/N could get another word out, there was commotion on the other line. “Sorry, Y/N/N, but I gotta go, babe. There’s a couple guys flying back tonight so we have to leave early for them. But I’ll see you in 2 days, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too, Mitch.” She responded before hanging up the phone. She hated constantly lying to Mitch. While she’d only hooked up with Auston once, there were many times they’d see each other to hang out or talked to each other until early hours of the night.

“But does he know you call me when he sleeps?”

———

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours? You’ve been quiet.” Y/N heard Auston ask through the phone. She sighed as she played with the strings of her hoodie.

“What’s wrong, Auston.” She said a bit harsh. “Is the fact that I could be sleeping with my fiancé right now, but instead I’m having a secret conversation on my couch with his best friend and teammate because that’s what I’d rather be doing.”

Y/N knew Auston was smirking on the other side because of the hold he had on the girl.

“So he doesn’t know we talk eh?” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“You know he doesn’t. How could I tell him that?” She complains as Auston lightly laughs at her frustration.

“I’m just teasing, you know that.” Auston says before sighing. “I don’t like this either. It makes me feel like shit. I think I lo-”

“Stop!” Y/N says a little too loud. “You can’t be saying that, Auston. I can’t be-” Y/N heard the bedroom door open as the soft stomp of Mitch’s footsteps filled the house.

“Babe?” He asked through the dimly lit living room. Auston could hear his voice too as he tried to hang up, but stayed on to hear what was said.

“I’m sorry, Mitch.” Y/N responded. “My sister needed to talk. She’s been drinking.” He nodded, too oblivious to not believe her. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” He shook his head and made his way over to kiss Y/N’s head.

“It’s not a big deal love. Family comes first. I’ll head back to bed and wait for you.” Y/N smiled and nodded watching Mitch walk all the way back before putting the phone back to her ear.

“So now I’m your sister?” Y/N hoped Auston couldn’t hear, but knew she wouldn’t be so lucky.

“You’re my nothing, Auston. We carried on this little relationship, and it was clearly a mistake. End of story.”

“If it’s the end of the story then why are we here on the phone right now?”

———

Y/N was taking advantage of Mitch at this point. That was clear. Taking advantage of his relationships, of how close he was able to allow Y/N to get to the team, and most of all, his time away.

Mitch wasn’t one of the guys coming home a day early from the roadie. But one of the players who was? Auston.

Y/N hadn’t known he flew home early until she was tanning by the pool in the back of her and Mitch’s house when she heard the gate open. She knew she put the lock on it, and knew Mitch wouldn’t be coming home, so she jumped up from her spot and grabbed the nearest item.

She tiptoed over to the side where she could see the gate, and she let out a breath when she saw was Auston walking in.

“What the fuck, Matthews?” Y/N yelled. “I thought someone was breaking in!” She huffed walking back to her chair. She became aware of the small bikini she was wearing and tried to pull it down in the back before Auston could stare.

“I’ve already seen it all, princess. No need to hide.” Y/N rolled her eyes as she tried to get herself comfortable again.

“What’re you doing here Auston?” Y/N asked in a flat tone. He took the opportunity to come up next to her and sit down in his own chair.

“Well, I know Mitch won’t be back until tomorrow, and you’re all alone in this house …” He trailed off, hoping Y/N could catch on to what he was insinuating. She took this time to pull off her sunglasses and get a good look at him. His facial hair was slightly longer than usual due to them being on a long roadie, and the tank top he was wearing showed off most of his tattoos, which Y/N was a sucker for.

“Haven’t I made it very clear that we aren’t going to sleep together again?”

“But why!?” He fired back. “We already have this weird thing, and it’s not like either of us want it to stop! I get that you care about Mitch, but-”

“There can’t be any buts, Auston! He’s my fiancé! We’re getting married for God’s sake. And he’s your teammate! Don’t you respect him more than that?” Y/N asked fully turning to face Auston. His gazed stayed fix on the girl, thinking of anything to say.

“Are you really telling me you don’t feel anything else for me?” Y/N stayed silent. She knew she was lying to herself. She felt amazing with Mitch, but Auston made her feel … different. He made her feel like she was perfect.

The silence was all Auston needed to move from his position in his chair to hovering over Y/N. She didn’t cave in as he leaned in close to her ear and whispered.

“If you feel nothing else for me, then you’ll tell me you don’t still have those Polaroids.”

“But does he know the pictures that you keep?”

———

Y/N didn’t know how she managed to do it, but while they were vacationing in Mexico with a few of the guys, Mitch believed her when she said she wanted to go shopping as some alone time.

What shopping really meant was that she was sneaking away to Auston’s hotel room.

Y/N truly felt bad. Mitch was about to become her husband and all she’s shown is how to be a piece of shit. She knew whatever was going on between her and Auston had to stop, but right now, she needed him.

When she arrived at his room, she made sure there was nobody around to see her go in. She knocked quietly and within a second the door flew open. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw the man in nothing but a pair of shorts.

The lights in the room were off besides a small lamp beside the bed. A soft hum of music came from the bathroom as Y/N entered to see a bubble bath filling up.

“What’s this Matthews?” She asked as she wrapped her hands around his neck. He leaned down and gave her a kiss before pulling back with a smile of his own.

“I thought we could just hang out, but, you know, naked.” Y/N couldn’t help but let a laugh escape her lips at Auston’s bluntness.

“I’d like that.” The pair got undressed, stripping away all of their clothes, before Y/N got in first. She poured 2 glasses of the champagne Auston set out before telling him to join.

“Wait.” He said, shifting his mood. He seemed almost nervous as he reached into his bag and pulled out a Polaroid camera. “If I promise no one will ever see these, will you let me take a picture of you?” Y/N couldn’t help but find his nervousness sweet as she giggled and nodded.

“As long as you don’t kill me, sure.” She joked. He then rolled his eyes and snapped a couple of pictures of her in the bath. He couldn’t help but admire her beauty as he began to remember she really wasn’t his.

“I wanna take one of you.” Y/N said through the silence. Auston immediately shook his head.

“Look at me, Y/N. I’m out of season, so I’m not as buff, and my hair’s a mess, the facial hair is out of control-” Y/N abruptly stood from the bath and tracked water across the floor to get to Auston. She grabbed the camera from his hands and set it down before giving him a sweet kiss on the lips.

“I think you’re gorgeous.” She whispered, looking him dead in the eyes. That was all she needed to say for Auston to kiss her again with everything he had.

“If you stand in the mirror with me I’ll let you take it.”

———

Y/N never got rid of the pictures. She couldn’t. She loved them. She loved Auston. But there was no way she could do that to Mitch. It would be worse to break up with him for Auston.

“I have them.” Y/N admitted to the man. She could hear him swallow hard, clearly not expecting her answer. “I want you right now, Auston. But this has to be the last time.” He didn’t hesitate to pick Y/N up in a quick motion and bring her inside. He all but ran to her bedroom where they wasted no time tearing off each other’s clothes. The kisses they shared were full of hunger, and lust, and passion.

The exact opposite of what Mitch’s kisses were like. They were loving, and gentle, and sweet. Everything Y/N wanted, but sometimes not what she needed.

When the night came to an end with her and Auston, they lied in her bed in silence.

“What are we doing?” Y/N spoke. Auston let out an airy laugh.

“We’re fucking behind your fiancé and my best friend’s back. And he doesn’t deserve that.” Y/N nodded but stayed quiet.

“This has to end.” She said, not fully believing her own words. Auston nodded knowingly, but not wanting to accept it.

“One more night?” He asked facing the girl. She turned to face him too, taking in how peaceful he looked in the moment. She sighed. If she wanted her relationship with Mitch to work out in the long run, it needed to end. And although it wasn’t what she wanted, she made a commitment to Mitch first.

“One more night.”

[writtenbygracewilliams]

Peerages & Titles: how titles apply to the children of peers

[Full list of disclaimers is in the master post but tl;dr is that sources for this information are not consistent, sources may be modern, names are all Bridgerton characters unless in red, and this may be edited/expanded at anytime as my research continues.]

The eldest son of a Duke, Marquess or Earl uses his father’s subsidiary title as a courtesy title, without the use of The. For example, The Duke of Hastings is also The Earl Clyvedon so his eldest son [and heir apparent] is be Earl Clyvedon.

If a Duke, Marquess or Earl does hold any subsidiary titles, it’s common for his eldest son to make one up entirely. He may be addressed as Lord Windsor, despite his father not holding any peerage of Windsor, or the title of Viscount Windsor or Baron Windsor to avoid confusion with an existing Lord Windsor.

A holder of a courtesy title is not a peer, therefore not entitled to sit in the House of Lords. However, until 1999, by way of writ of acceleration, a peer with more than one peerage could enable his heir apparent to attend and vote in the House of Lords while he was still alive—using one of his father’s subsidiary titles. It was introduced in the mid 15th century and was a rare occurrence, only used 98 times in over 400 years.

If an eldest son did not receive a writ of acceleration, it was not uncommon for a new peerage to be created for him. There are examples of this happening where the father is a baron, meaning that he has no subsidiary titles.

Until the 20th century, it was relatively easy for eldest sons with no courtesy title or peerage to be elected to the House of Commons if they still wished to be in politics.

Eldest daughters do not get a courtesy title, because they are not heir apparent.

In the peerage of Scotland, both heir presumptives and heir apparent of a peer use the title/address of Master or Mistress. For example, The Master of Edinburgh. This is not a courtesy title, and the heir of a Duke, Marquess or Earl may still use a courtesy as outlined above.

The sons (and son’s wives) of Dukes, Marquesses and Earls who are not heir apparent are addressed as My Lord/Lady or Lord/Lady, using their first name and surname—though the surname may be dropped following the first use/reference. For example; Simon and Daphne’s son (aside from the heir apparent) would be addressed as Lord Edward Basset. That son’s wife is Lady Edward Basset. This title persists after the death of his father, but because it is considered a courtesy and it is not inherited by his children.

The sons (and son’s wives) of Viscounts and Barons are addressed as Sir, Mr, Madam or Mrs. This is why Benedict, Colin and Gregory are all Mr Bridgerton. To differentiate between brothers, Mr Bridgerton would refer to the eldest son and the younger sons may use their first names as well when required. [Much like the bottom point, about daughters].

The daughters of Dukes, Marquesses and Earls who are addressed as My Lady or Lady, using their first name and surname—though the surname may be dropped following the first use/reference. For example; Simon and Daphne’s daughters would be addressed as Lady Amelia Basset, Lady Belinda Basset and Lady Caroline Basset. If they married a man with any peerage, or courtesy peerage, they would take that rank and title. If she marries a commoner, she retains her rank and title but uses her husband's surname instead of her maiden name. Her husband does not gain any right to a courtesy title/style. For example; if Amelia married commoner William Brien, she would become Lady Amelia Brien, but he would remain Mr William Brien, and their children would not inherit any titles.

The daughters of Viscounts and Barons are Miss (unmarried), Mrs (married to a commoner) or Madam (married or unmarried)

The eldest unmarried daughter of a family is addressed using their surname, and all subsequent daughters are addressed using their first name with the surname optional. This is why it is Miss Sharma for Kate and Miss Edwina or Miss Edwina Sharma for Edwina. Once Kate marries, Edwina should be formally addressed as Miss Sharma.

Link to the master post, drop any other questions in my ask :)

–GW xo

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Top 100 Movies #100 - #76

For the longest time I've wanted to do something like this, but I never could find the right time to do it. It just seemed so daunting, and the website's image limit was a hindrance, and then my computer died and my wife's computer was all I could use... and then I went on my hiatus from doing major reviews. But I found some time, so here we go.

These are my hundred favorite films ever made, divided into fourths so each one can get an image and I can devote more time to gushing about them if I want to without feeling like I'm dragging things out.

Speaking if dragging things out, let us waste no more time! We have a hundred movies to go, so let's knock out the botom quarter!

100. Us

Jordan Peele’s sophomore effort gets a lot of shit that I feel is mostly undeserved. Sure, some of the over explaining at the climax is a bit clunky when taken at face value, but it almost feels like it’s by design, as if the movie is daring you to nitpick the premise so that you can ignore the message it’s trying to convey. For me, I find that the stellar themes, fantastic acting, and godly soundtrack manage to make up for any of this movie’s flaws.

99. Crimson Peak

Murder! Mystery! Ghosts! Incest! Leave it to Guillermo del Toro to craft a Gothic horror film this stylish and impressive! This might just be my favorite of his films, and I definitely think it is severely overlooked compared to the rest of his output.

98. Mandy

Nicolas Cage is one of my favorite actors of all time, because when he goes crazy it’s always fun, and when he’s dramatic he genuinely kills it. This film lets him do both,with the first half being a slow burn dramatic romance that ends in horrific tragedy, and the back half having him do demon drugs and get into a chainsaw duel while he murders an entire cult. Truly a beautifully insane film.

97. Scream

The film that both revitalized and ruined the slasher genre, with winking nods to the tropes that made those films what they are while also playing things just straight enough to be appealing. Only a genre master like Wes Craven could pull off a pitch-perfect satire like this, though none of it would be near as good if it didn’t have a great cast who were firing on all cylinders. Young Neve Campbell before she became a sellout, Matthew Lillard cementing his place in horror history, David Arquette and Courtney Cox in their prime, and Roger “Mojo Jojo” Jackson playing the iconic voice of Ghostface… They’re as crucial to this movie’s success as the meta winks and impressive kills are.

96. Jojo Rabbit

Taika Waititi made one bad superhero movie and then everyone turned on him as if he didn’t make the film that proves you absolutely could make Blazing Saddles in this day and age. While it’s neither as gut-bustingly funny nor as profane as Mel Brooks’ magnum opus, it’s still a very fun, funny, and heartbreaking satirization of Nazism. I think he’s allowed to make one Love and Thunder when he made something this good.

95. Akira

The movie with the coolest bike slide in cinematic history, and this is indisputable because every single movie and show with motorcycles in it borrowed that cool bike slide. This film does show its age a bit, but it’s still an awesome sci-fi showcase of animated action and body horror. Plus it’s just a lot of fun seeing Tetsuo and Kaneda spend at least half of their dialogue dramatically screaming each other’s names.

94. 300

I make fun of Zack Snyder a lot, but I do it out of love; the dude who made 300 has gotta be capable of doing better than his recent output, after all. Stylish, slick action and slow-mo put to good use showing an army of nearly naked macho men cutting down hordes of nasty bad guys… The fact I watched this movie so much as a teenager should’ve been the first hint I was bisexual.

93. Spider-Man: No Way Home

People are really fucking hard on the MCU Spidey, and not without reason, but sometimes it really comes off as disingenuous. Look at this film, for instance; it has gotten some flak for just being a cheap nostalgia circlejerk that uses cameos so you can clap and cheer and ignore the ‘plot holes.’ I cannot imagine being that miserable of a movie watcher. To me, this film is a tribute to the cinematic Spideys that came before while giving them some degree of closure that I never thought I’d see, while simultaneously bringing Holland’s take on the character closer to where he should be. It’s also really hard to hate a movie where Willem Dafoe gets to go Goblin Mode again and power bomb Tom Holland through several floors of an apartment, cementing him as comic book movie villain royalty once and for all. Are there cheesy moments, moments where things don’t make the most sense? Sure. But to focus on those bits instead of the core themes and how the characters are used is an awful way t do film criticism. The returning heroes and most of the returning villains are used very effectively to tell the story they wanted to tell, and most importantly they don’t overshadow Tom and his friends. The fact he stands toe-to-toe with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield is nothing short of amazing, spectacular even.

92. The Lost Boys

Joel Schumacher died with one of the most unfairly earned infamous reputations around. Man made one campy superhero movie where you can see George Clooney’s nips and hear Arnold Schwarzenegger make ice puns and suddenly everyone forgets he made one of the greatest and most homoerotic vampire films ever made. While the stuff with the kids is very hit or miss, the stuff with David and his vampire biker gang is awesome, and the climax is one hell of a good time.

91. Barbie

Want to introduce your kids to feminist concepts but really don’t think they’re ready for Poor Things? Greta Gerwig has got you covered, with this pink-hued intro to feminism that uses the world’s most popular doll in a meta-narrative about her impact as well as what it means to be a woman and how the patriarchy is detrimental to both men and women. Margot Robbie gives a great performance as the titular heroine, but it is Ryan Gosling as the well-meaning idiot turned antagonist Ken that steals the show. It helps that he sings one of the most incredible, sincere power ballads ever written.

90. Street Fighter

As a connoisseur of cheesy, “so bad it’s good” films, quite a few of them have made my top 100. Here’s the first of those, this goofy Saturday morning cartoon of a film where the most American character ever (Guile) is played by the least American guy imaginable (Jean-Claude Van Damme). While it undeniably fumbles a lot of the cast of the game it’s adapting, Chun-Li and especially M. Bison are done so well it’s hard to be too mad. It’s a fun, stupid, silly 90s action film and sometimes that’s all I need.

89. Knives Out

After polarizing sci-fi audiences with his Star Wars film, Rian Johnson subverted our expectations by delivering a whodunnit for the ages. After seeing them restrained by blockbuster franchises for the better part of a decade, seeing Daniel Craig and Chris Evans really let loose again is a real treat.

88. Everything Everywhere All at Once

Twitter tries to convince me every other week that this movie is dogshit, but I ain’t buying it. This is one of the best uses of the multiverse in recent memory, using it to tell a stylish, silly, and heartfelt story about family and trauma. The entire cast is amazing, but it’s Ke Huy Quan in his big return to the silver screen that really steals the show.

87. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

My favorite thing about this movie, this proto-slasher, is just how fucking unclean it makes me feel. It’s not overly violent or gory, but it is genuinely grimy and unsettling in a way few other horror films can match. The dinner scene near the end in particular is just so fucking unnerving. Just truly unmatched atmosphere with this movie.

86. Spaceballs

While I’m not going to argue that this is a better film than Blazing Saddles, I still enjoy it a lot more since I’m a bigger fan of Star Wars and sci-fi than I am of Westerns. It’s just a damn funny parody, and hoe can it not when it has some of the funniest people to ever live (Mel Brooks, Joan Rivers, Rick Moranis, John Candy) and a great heroic lead performance from Bill Pullman all delivering some of the silliest lines ever written?

85. RRR

This is basically live action historical fiction anime. These characters pull off some of the most insane feats of action I have ever seen, action that makes the average American action film look like Peppa Pig. But I would not give a shit if there wasn’t a strong emotional core; the two leads have a brotherly bond unlike anything I’ve ever, and it makes the action that much sweeter. Frankly, this movie would make the list just for the final battle alone, since it might be my favorite action scene of all time.

84. Strange Magic

This movie holds a very special place in my heart. I went to see this with my wife back when we first started dating, and at the time I was filled with anxiety and insecurity, worried that I wasn’t good enough and didn’t deserve a relationship among other things. I sat down to watch this, and when it got to the titular song, something clicked, and I felt secure. I felt like our relationship was the right thing, and all these years later it’s hard to deny I was right. So thank you to this cheesy jukebox musical inspired by Shakespeare and George Lucas’ desire to make a film for little girls. They will never convince me you’re a bad movie.

83. Princess Mononoke

Maybe Miyazaki’s Spirited Away is objectively better, but this is my favorite. I think it’s because this one is a lot more excitin and action-packed, with all sorts of thrilling setpieces interspersed with the quieter dramatic moments Miyazaki excels at.

82. Jurassic Park

One of Spielberg’s greatest achievements is bringing dinosaurs to life on the big screen. No matter how many times I sit down to watch this, I still feel the same awe the characters do when they lay their eyes on the dinosaurs—which really highlights how good the cast is, because they’re amazingly convincing even when they’re looking at dated 90s CGI.

81. Labyrinth

It’s David Bowie starring as the villain in a musical filled with puppets that’s directed by Jim Henson. How the fuck is it possible to not love this movie?

80. V for Vendetta

Yes, this does dumb down the politics of Alan Moore’s comic significantly and turns the story into a much more straightforward plot. But what it lacks in depth, it makes up for with Hugo Weaving and pyrotechnics. And it’s not like there’s no depth here; crucially, this film keeps the entirety of the prisoner’s letter sequence. If that was left out, I would not have liked this movie at all.

79. Wreck-It Ralph

It’s amazing how much Disney got right here that it would go on to get wrong over the next decade. We have a hidden twist villain, something that hampered later films… but he’s shown to be a dick, with the villain reveal being how evil he is. It’s a big crossover of nostalgic properties… but they’re more used as seasoning for a story about original characters. It’s just astonishing how Disney would end up dropping the ball, even in this film’s sequel, when they got everything right the first time.

78. Sin City

What’s black and white and red all over? This bloody brilliant adaptation of Frank Miller’s sleazy comics (and one of the last genuinely good things with his name attached to it). The visual style here is the real big selling point; it genuinely looks like the pages of a comic come to life. While the movie as a whole is fantastic and “The Big Fat Kill” segment is still really, “The Hard Goodbye” and “That Yellow Bastard” are the real highlights, the former because of a career highlight performance from Mickey Rourke and a terrifying villain turn from Elijah Wood of all people, the latter because of one of Bruce Willis’ finest performances of the 2000s and excellent use of slight splashes of color (yellow for the titular bastard).

77. Batman & Robin

As long as I live, this movie will have at least one defender. Joel Schumacher created a silly, campy comic book movie for the ages, and maybe back in the day people weren’t read for it… but I was. I love the ice puns, the nipples, the bat credit card, all of it! All of its silly, stupid corniness makes this as memorable as it is! It’s like the West show with a gigantic budget.

76. The Rocky Horror Picture Show

And speaking of camp, here is the cult classic. We can argue all day and all night whether this film has aged badly, but this was a huge step forward for queer cinema on top of being a damn good musical. If nothing else, this movie helped rocket Tim Curry into the stratosphere and made him the star we know him as.

[commehter]

Does Zu-Ozai ever get to have a romantic partner again? Losing Mai (and their not-yet-born child) seems like it would be profoundly lonely.

Ah. Well...

The short answer is that I don't have any solid plans on including a romantic interest one way or the other for Zu-Ozai in SToFLO. Let alone a particular who that would fill the role. I'm open to options, but I'm not married to any of the ideas I've had thus far.

Long answer (and potential spoilers) under the cut.

The thing is, it's kind of an awkward topic to tackle. I understand the desire for Zu-Ozai to have someone, but... Simply put he's a 19-year-old in a 35-year-old body, tossed 6 years into his own past and grieving the loss of his first wife and child. No matter what I choose to do, that's going to be messy.

The entire main cast (and the bulk of the rest of the cast for that matter) is way too young. A good chunk of the remaining cast is too old. In the leftover sliver of the canon cast, that isn't already married... Frankly, I'm not seeing any options that I'd care to write.

Maybe I've missed someone, but I can't think of a single canon character I'd be happy pairing with Zu-Ozai.

That leaves the OC route and... Welp, I haven't ruled it out, but I am highly aware that main-canon-character/original-character pairings aren't terribly popular and put a lot of readers off. (I should know. I'm one of the folks that typically avoid them like the plague.) I could get into the weeds of why, but that might easily spiral into a rather long rant... Suffice it to say that MCC /OC pairings tend to be poorly written about 98% of the time before we ever get into other reasons someone may not want to read such a pairing.

I'm still playing with the idea though because I have read a few fics that did it right. (Vathara's Embers comes to mind for giving Iroh an OC girlfriend that I rather liked.) But the "trick" to doing it right largely comes down to the OC in question having a life and purpose outside of being shipping fodder, so I can't just make a random OC on the sole basis of "Zu-Ozai deserves a wife."

That comes with its own tangle of problems. What is the OC's other (read: main) role in the story? How does this OC enter Zu-Ozai's life? Why does she stay? Are they actually compatible personality wise? What about principles? What are the political ramifications? Can I, as the author, write it in a manner that is organic rather than forced?

Honestly, the answer to that last one is probably "only if you actually let it happen organically instead of pushing it."

So... Yeah. I'd like for our boy to find someone, too, but it's not something I'm going to focus on for fear of producing something truly cringe-worthy. (Either way, I write at the pace of frozen molasses, so it will be awhile before Zu-Ozai is ready to move on and try dating again, anyway.)

**As a final aside, my current leading idea (as of writing this post) for a potential OC match is Suki's mom. -- It's my understanding that Netflix actually made a character for that role (Did they axe Oyaji as village leader or something?) so I might end up stealing Yukari's name. Pessimist fish already decided we were stealing Raava's name from TLoK for the Avatar Spirit, after all. -- A warrior from a small, neutral nation that no one cares about seems about his speed for someone he might actually be interested in without creating a political nightmare in the process. Comes with a bonus excuse to drag an itty-bitty Suki into the narrative, too!

...Someone is going to have to explain to Zu-Ozai that children "playing" hide-and-explode(-plus-blades-for-the-nonbender) across palace rooftops is NOT a normal "sibling bonding experience." Just imagine, three little hellions and their dad who doesn't think they're doing anything all that unusual. Mom be like "no that's definitely not normal... keeps their skills sharp, though." ...Okay, so I'm half-tempted to do it for the hellion step-sibling trio alone. So adorable and yet terrifying!**

[okamirayne]

Hello Hello!

Just a random ask.. do you have any inconsequential or random hc’s for characters that have almost no relevance in their overall lives? I’ll go first — I’ve always imagined that Neji developed a mild disgust/phobia of spiders ever since his fight with Kidomaru

Heya Anon! 💜

Just a random ask.. do you have any inconsequential or random hc’s for characters that have almost no relevance in their overall lives? I’ll go first — I’ve always imagined that Neji developed a mild disgust/phobia of spiders ever since his fight with Kidomaru

Oooh, that's a great question! And your example is solid. Wouldn't blame Neji thumbing his nose at the Eight Legged Freaks after his ordeal.

Hmm...I might need some liquid inspiration to answer this...

...argh, what's so annoying is that I tend to discover my hc's as I write the characters - does that make sense? It's really bizarre. You'd think that I'd have a tonne of head cannons just filed away, but what tends to happen is they drop into my headspace as I'm writing, rather than me actively thinking about them...I think maybe because 98% of my brain is engaged in plot most of the time (given how long BtB is), the character aspect (my favourite part, oddly enough) churns out based purely on organic in-the-moment writing and inspiration/instinct...which is probably why I love it so much, it's more intuitive than intellectual and way more fun.

Sorry, that in no way answers your question...

I'm thinking but....

Seriously...zilch...on demand, nada...

And yet, undoubtedly, I'm going to discover those head canons as I write. Some random examples below (some which obviously have significance), most of which have been disclosed already and discovered whilst writing, but give some good cases of BtB-verse HCs...if some could be called that?

how gift giving is one of Ino's biggest love languages

how Hiashi prefers Go to Shogi

how Raidō is a stickler for rules and enjoys sudoku

how Shikaku got his scars (Shuken)

how Kiba is ridiculously loyal once romantically attached despite his flirtatious and rascal-like behaviour

how Kakashi treasures his Team 7 mug decorated by his students before Sasuke defected

how Kakashi suffered from migraines due to the Sharingan

how Ino's old eating disorder issues were related to a critical and image-obsessed mother, and to Sakura rejecting her friendship as a kid because of Sasuke (leading Ino to believe she was always going to be in competition with other women and that female friendships are fragile)

how Sakura hates how much she loves Sasuke

Chōji allowing Ino to decorate him like a Christmas tree whenever she drags him into shopping sprees (she feeds him for it, which is a win-win)

Shikamaru requiring Chōji to do the thinking and the legwork when it comes to purchasing gifts for Ino

Asuma's cigarette brand is hard to get hold of

Genma is a whole head canon in himself - Halloween is important to him and not just because of pumpkin soup

Genma's issues with care homes - hints of his past as a kid

The significance to Neji of the words "every time" when he speaks them to Shikamaru

The importance of the words "I hear you" between Shikamaru and Asuma, and generally when Shikamaru says this, regardless of who he's speaking to

Neji's blind spot being an erogenous zone

Shikamaru being an utter sucker for head massages

Shikamaru loving Niji's coffee (second to none)

Genma being attracted to Kurenai (much to his supreme annoyance)

Inoichi having a wicked sweet-tooth, leading to him sneaking off to indulge in various confectionary (usually at the Akimichi household) so his wife didn't lose her shit (which led to her believing he might be having affairs)

Yoshino being incredibly sensitive to Shikamaru's security whilst in the home - the only control she feels she has over his safety given his life as a shinobi

Orochimaru's severely messed up behaviour with Sasuke and the oddness of his rules surrounding it (not sure you'd call this a head canon, as it's not something I enjoy entertaining - not that all head canon's are fun)

Kakashi somatising his emotions and his body carrying most of his pain

Kakashi preferring to live in a complex with older veteran shinobi rather than his peers (quieter, less intrusive)

Shiba (Kakashi's ninken) suffering bouts of claustrophobia

Ino, Inoichi, and Naoki's habit of cracking their thumbs

Ibiki's arthritis in his hands (worse now due to chakra sickness)

Kiba's nostalgic love/hate for silky thread grass

Shikaku's involvement with the Hyūga during his youth

Inoichi being a pretty-boy when younger and having to infiltrate a geisha house (where he met Sayuri, his wife)

Shikamaru harbouring mild paranoia of losing anything Ino buys him (the risk of ballistic head injury is very real)

The playful battle of Ino keeping a mental score of "you owe me" vs Shikamaru keeping a mental score of "I'll remember this"

Tenten messing with Neji by adding spice to his food

Argh, there are loads more; but those are the ones that just randomly came to mind whilst trying to kick my marbles around. There will undoubtedly be more to come, especially with characters such as Naruto and Sasuke, but also Neji, Shikakmaru and the rest.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) I can't always predict what they'll be so I apologise for not being able to reciprocate properly, Anon! But thank you for this ASK, it was fun to recall these. 💜🫶🏼💜

[1800-needs-help]

thinking about millywood and how they WOULD be the two to canonically smash in trigun 98.

just thinking about how Milly (MY LOVE MY LIFE MY REASON TO BE <33333) just CARRIES that heavy ass weapon when no one else at the insurance place does. how she immediately believes that vash is THE Vash The Stampede without too much thought, other than the fact that he just responds to the name. how she's so willing to help literally anyone in need and does not care of the consequences (like her running through burning hot geysers to help save a runaway couple). how she cares so deeply about her friends that she was PISSED when Vash's actions led to Meryl sobbing her eyes out. and last but certainly not least, her fuckin CHEMISTRY with Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

When she saw a child trying to escape a group of men her IMMEDIATE course of action was to pretend to be pregnant with sextuplets and have Wolfwood be the father LMAOOOO. AND THEY PULLED IT OFF TOO. even after the whole episode was over, they still continued the joke of them being a married couple in a later episode.

Now to WW, who is just immediately buddy buddy with the trio as soon as he meets them and is insane in his own right. And yeah, you could argue Vash is crazy and weird and silly and goofy but like, he's a man that's not even a man technically. Vash is what, like 150 yrs old? (I can't remember) He is BOUND to not be alright. But WW is human and is going along with all the same batshit stuff Vash is involved with. which makes it worse, CAUSE WHY IS THIS MAN JUST CASUALLY GETTING IN GUN FIGHTS EVERY EPISODE HE'S IN LIKE HOMIE JUST SIT DOWN AND ENJOY SOME SOUP. He's only mildly normal when he's just chillin with Milly or Vash.

And idk what it is but his gentleness with Milly just kinda breaks me (maybe it's bc I too would like a giant woman to be my pretend ((REAL OH GOD REAL)) wife and be able to swing me around like a rag doll with the biggest smile on her face). He like shields her the best he can, he doesn't want to get her into whatever mess he's made by the end of the series and just tells her to stay put...and she listens and GOD. I was just so goddamn devastated. My heart broke with Milly's and I can only imagine the agony WW must have felt to leave her for the last time.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 102. brb

a/n: HAH yeah, wow im melting it's so HOT here

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: personal issues that Rooster chooses to ignore, Bea being a good wife again, <3

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101

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-

His skin felt amazing, he couldn’t help rubbing his face over and over during the night, it was smooth as Nicole’s little hands and that was saying a lot. Speaking of Nicole, she was currently sitting on his lap as he lies on one of the stretchers they had on the patio, staring at the pool wide eyed and mouth parted.

Beatrice’s footsteps came from the door, he turned around just in time to see her approaching, smiling bright and wide. He just opens his arm to show she should sit down next to them, which she does, scooting over to his side and pressing her cheek on his shoulder, all the while holding out her hand for Nikki to hold. When he sighs deeply, Beatrice’s eyes turn upwards, “Everything okay?”

“Everything great.” he replies quietly, “My face feels so soft.”

“And it smells really good.” she adds, “But you always do.”

The brought another smile out of him, followed by a kiss to the top of her head, “Ah…gorgeous. I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

With his lips still on her scalp he just murmured, “Thank you for being here for me.” he says, his breathing tickling her head and making the strands move a bit “You don’t have to worry so much but you still do.”

“I’m your wife.”

“But still.”

Beatrice pulls back to look at him, furrowing her brows and gently brushing her thumb on his smooth cheekbone, “I love you a lot,Brad.” she whispers, “And I want you to be okay…” her lower lip disappears into her mouth for a few seconds “Can…can I ask you something?”

“Always, gorgeous.”

“Did you…ever go to therapy? I mean I-I- you never um, told me if you did…”

Bradley inhales softly, giving her an almost guilty smile, “Last time I went I was thirteen…then I just stopped going.”

“Oh…can I ask why?”

His eyes dropped to Nicole’s light ones, kissing his daughter’s forehead, “I guess I couldn’t handle some of the stuff the therapist wanted to talk about. I figured that holding it in made more sense, didn’t hurt so much…plus I…I had a fucked up mindset about mental health back then, I didn’t want my friends to know that I had a therapist.”

Beatrice frowns but understands completely, there was this weird stigma back then about taking care of your mental health and understanding you needed to, “I understand.” she says, “Do you think you’d ever…go to one again?”

“Therapy?” she nods, propping her chin on his shoulder and Rooster has to think about it before responding. He never…really thought about going back to therapy in his adult years, then again he did think everything was fine as long as you pushed it further and further away from the main area of your mind.

And it was obvious it wasn’t working.

At all.

Or else they wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Part of him felt like he should go ahead and think about it, because he wanted to get better and he wanted to feel like he progressed mentally. But the stubborn part of him refused to admit that it’d help, that it’d be easier to let things go if he talked about it with someone else, someone whom he has no familiarity with…but again, would he want to keep venting to Beatrice?

She was a good person and she cared about him, of course she’d always be there, but it wasn’t healthy to let that sort of info on her so often. Just as it wasn’t healthy to hold it in…he groans, rubbing his eyes with the tips of his fingers because he was giving himself a bad headache, “I’m okay,gorgeous.” he says before she even asks because he can feel her head lifting from his shoulder to give him a better look.

“You sure?”

He laughs humorlessly, “I think so.” he groans one last time before dropping his hand to Nicole’s small back, smiling at his daughter’s relaxed pose against his stomach, her tiny fists under her body - just like Beatrice did - and her eyes blinking closed, “I don’t know…honestly. I…I don’t know if therapy would help me.” lies, his own voice answer, all lies and you know it.

“Why not?”

“Didn’t help me back then.”

“Maybe you didn’t have a good therapist.”

True, she was the school’s therapist who’d much rather be out chain smoking than taking care of any child that wandered into her office, “...maybe.” he mutters, “I don’t know, there are some cans of worms I’d rather keep closed.”

“Roos,” she frowns, “That’s not healthy.”

“...yeah,I know.”

She tsked a bit, “You are the sweetest guy I know…you don’t hide your emotions when it comes to me…why are you doing it to yourself?”

Damn. She was good.

He just blinked at Beatrice in pure shock, because those words felt like a punch to the throat and he lost all ability to speak. His wife was so smart and she could read him so well he wondered why he hid stuff from her. “I…I don’t…know.” he frowns, “Maybe a therapist could answer that, huh?” she smiles as she nods, placing her cheek on his shoulder as both look towards the pool, the gentle rippling of waves made by the night breeze.

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it never was, thankfully the two could handle the quietness without fidgeting and wanting to fill it with words that wouldn’t add to anything. She hugs his arm, sighing softly as they hear the crickets chirping in the night, their daughter napping peacefully on Rooster’s stomach, “I’m scared.” she blinks when his voice breaks the silence, turning her head towards him, “I’m scared of talking about it.”

“What?”

“I’m scared…of coming to terms with certain things.” he frowns, still looking ahead, “About Mav, my mom, my life…I fear they’ll overweight my progress. My professional progress I mean…I didn’t needed it before and needing it now seems weird. I know it’ll help me but I’m also nervous of what it’ll bring to the surface.”

Beatrice furrows her brows over his explanation, flicking her gaze away briefly to think before looking back at him, “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but it’d really help Brad.”

“I know.”

“And I know it’s scary…it was scary for me too,sometimes still is. Dr.Varma is an intense yet wonderful professional. Therapists can be like that.”

“Yeah…I guess.” he chuckles again, but immediately furrows his brows, “I don’t know Bea.I like…I can talk to you because I trust you and I love you so much, but I don’t want to overwhelm you with what I have.”

“You don’t overwhelm me.”

“You are my wife, not my therapist.” he says gently, cupping her chin between his thumb and forefinger, rubbing alongside her jawline until he reached her plump lips, smiling when she kissed the pad of his thumb, “Ugh,I’m still hesitating.” he drops his hand to Nicole’s back again, adjusting her on his torso so she’d be even more comfortable, “I shouldn’t be.”

“...I have an idea.” he arches his brow in question, “You can have one session with a therapist, doesn’t have to be Dr.Varma if you don’t want to. See how it feels and then…if it works, you continue with it. Does that sound good?”

He thinks about it for a few seconds, licking his lips as he ponders the pros and cons of that suggestion…honestly there were more pros than cons. If it goes well he can continue, maybe he can schedule days when he’s not deployed, he doesn’t want to miss anything with Beatrice and Nikki after all.

“How about this.” Bea speaks again, smiling at him, “Why don’t we wait after the Holidays and after we get back from Virginia?” he blinked at her in surprise, “We’ll be relaxed enough and hopefully you won’t be deployed then,”

“Huh…” he licks his lips, “I like that idea.”

“I thought you might.” she smiles, “I don’t want you to feel pressured,Brad, that’s not what I want,ever, for you…you need to think about it and when you do think about it, you’ll figure out what to do…and I’ll support you no matter what your choice is.” she grins and his heart flutters.

She’s so understanding, she’s so sweet and he’s the luckiest man around.

Both of them however look up when they hear a rumble of thunder, “Again?” He quickly stands to his feet with Nicole clutched to his chest, offering his hand to Beatrice, “It was clear skies minutes ago.”

“Well the weatherman said it’d be rainy this week.” She smiles as she pushes the door open, stepping inside first and Rooster following just behind. Nicole made a noise of complaint in his hold, burying her chubby face into his shirt and only making both of her parents look down at her, “It’s about her bedtime, we better tuck her in.”

Rooster tsked in disappointment, but he agreed with her, closing the door before Beatrice could and then holding her hand as they walked up the stairs. She looked down at their joined palms with her cheeks a soft red, turning her eyes up to see the back of his head and knowing that this meant a lot to him.

This hand holding meant a lot to him, more than he wanted to show.

Beatrice just sighs softly, their soft steps up the stairs mixing with the sound of rain that hit the roof repeatedly signaling that they left their patio just in time for the rain to arrive. Beatrice turns on the light so Rooster can place Nikki in her crib, the little girl stretching her arms and then relaxing once she’s on top of her mattress, breathing in deeply as relaxation took over her tiny body.

Rooster had his arms folded on top of the crib’s railing, chin propped on top and his eyes soft as he looked down at Nicole, his wife silently making her way over to him to peek over his shoulder, “I’ve never seen something more perfect.” he says as Beatrice hugs his torso and places her cheek on his shoulder, the two of them admiring their sleeping infant, “Have you?”

“No,never.”

“And she’s ours.”

“She is.”

He inhales again, rubbing his eyes with the tips of his fingers, feeling Beatrice gently rubbing his bicep to comfort his already stormy thoughts, kissing his cheek quickly, “Come on.” she whispers, “We better go too, we both have to wake up early tomorrow.” she holds his hand again and Rooster lets her guide him away from there, kissing the back of her head as they leave the room, “Rooster!” 

He wraps his arms around her waist and walks along with her to their bedroom,well, more like they waddle towards their room. They laugh, muffledly to not wake Nicole up - Eleanor even peeked out of the nursery to give them an ugly look because to the dog, that was more noise than she’d like - with Beatrice leaning against his chest and brushing her hand on his face, “I love you.” he whispered, kissing her cheek, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too Roos.” she whispered, turning on the lights and finally breaking free from her husband’s hold to walk deeper into the room and sit down on the bed. Rooster follows the same steps and plops down next to her and both of them fell back on the mattress in unison, his hand immediately reaching out for hers, brushing his thumb over her knuckles.

“You know.” she turns her head towards him when he speaks, “Maybe the trip to Virginia will be good to ease my mind.” he mutters, “I can think better that way…hopefully I won’t be too worried about it anymore.”

Beatrice turns to lie on her shoulder, bringing their joined hands so she could prop her cheek on top, “As long you are okay.”

“I am okay.” he says softly, “I am much better than before…” and his eyes stop to look at her, those big green eyes with thick lashes that made him weak in the knees, the plump pink lips that always looked ready to be bitten and kissed, the button nose that crinkled whenever he tapped it, “You helped. A lot.”

She gave him a small smile, kissing his knuckles, “I’m glad…sometimes all we need is a skin care routine with your family.” they laugh again, a bit louder this time since they were far from Nicole’s room.

“Yeah.” he touches his extremely soft face again, arching his brows, “My face smells nice, like pomegranates.”

“Those are the best face masks.” she says, adjusting herself so she’s lying on the pillow instead of the mattress, watching as Rooster did the same, sighing softly as the softness surrounded him…and it was hard to keep his eyes open after that, but Beatrice didn’t mind.

She just watches as his chest moves evenly and his eyes finally slip shut, smiling and leaning closer to kiss his forehead, “Good night,Roos.” she whispers on his skin, “Sleep well.”

-

Luckily, he fell asleep quite quickly after their conversation, in fact he fell asleep too quickly, mid conversation with Beatrice. He had no nightmares, but instead he had a dream…a dream of a house, maybe a ranch? He saw horses, lots of trees, bushes filled with fruits and even a large lake in the distance.

And he saw Nikki,albeit a bit older, maybe around three or five, with a straw hat on her head eating fresh strawberries as she overlooked something on a hill. It didn’t look like it was anywhere he knew though, the mountains in the distance looked different, more…European. 

Like the ones he’d see in Italy during their honeymoon. 

He groans a bit in his sleep, stretching his body while still in bed only to feel the presence next to him move closer, that delicious smell of lavender entering his nose and making a smile spread over his lips, “Mornin’ gorgeous.” his thick with sleep voice murmured, nuzzling her hair and kissing her scalp, “Did I wake you?”

“Hmhm…” she says sweetly, blinking her eyes open towards him, “But it’s fine. How did you sleep?”

He drops the hand currently moving through the sandy brown strands with a happy sigh, “Honestly? Pretty good.” he smiles, turning to face her and gently rubbing his thumb on the corner of her eyes, seeing there were tiny pieces of hair clinging to them, “I had a dream that we were in a ranch of some sort.”

‘Oh?”

“Yeah, but not here,” he clears his throat to wake it up from the disuse, “It was…maybe Italy, I saw those mountains from Palermo…and Nikki was there too, but older, like three years old. She looked beautiful, she looked a lot like you.” he blinks his eyes a bit, “It was really nice.”

Beatrice smiles as she props her chin on his shoulder, “Well, my great grandparents had a ranch in Italy when my nonna was younger…did I tell you that?” 

“I think you did.”

“Maybe you were remembering things and joining them because you liked Italy that much.” she grins, pecking his lips twice before sitting on her knees, “I’m going to take a quick shower and then-” she pulls her hair up in a bun, “I’ll prepare breakfast, sounds good?”

“I can do it.”

“You have work today,Roos.” she says as soon as she’s out of the bed, adjusting the shirt on her body and shuffling to the bathroom after grabbing her clothes from the closet, “You don’t have to worry about that,handsome.”

Bradley huffs a soft laugh, sitting on the bed to watch her move around, “Bea.” he calls before she disappears into their bathroom, “Want some company?”

And her hesitation was the best thing because he could see she was turning the cogs in her head, because of time and because of what they could do…she was considering it, “Well…it is five in the morning.” he’s climbing out of the bed like a big cat ready to pounce, “And…Nikki is still asleep.” he ‘hum’ positively, getting even closer, “And…breakfast won’t take that long.”

“Nope,it won’t.”

“Although,” she presses a hand on his chest when he’s close enough, “We can’t spend too long here, so…um, you know. And-” she squeaks in surprise when he just picks her up and carries her to the bathroom, “Roos!”

[gluechugger]

REDDEADHEAD AU RUNNING MASTERPOST

I can’t stop thinking about my deadhead au and I have so much to say about it that I can’t even put it in a post like I have a running list of character deaths and songs and things I want to draw and band t shirt virtue signaling and anyway here’s some ideas

Updated last: 9/11 8:00pm

tw for character death,drug use

Feel free to like this post! I would love any kind of feedback even if this is mostly here for me to reference!! Maybe don’t reblog since it’ll be updated often.

Drawing ideas;

Strauss in a Rammstein shirt.

Mary Beth printing her zine at the Fed Ex print shop.

Tilly and Grimshaw listening to The Slits together

Arthur watching cartoons with Jack

Im going to make a post with bands the gang listen to individually. Ie: Arthur likes Pixies, Dinosaur Jr. John likes Korn, Deftones, and various other numetal.

An mtv playlist that embodies the gang

Blurbs:

The house is a character in itself because most of the events of the games take place there or in town. I imagine it’s somewhere in backwoods Kentucky/southern Indiana ? That’s probably where Dutch’s artsy parents settled down and bought the house which he inherits. Dutch’s dad dies in Viet Nam, his mother passes later in the early 80’s. The house is probably close to Bloomington/IU where his parents went to school. The residents of the house in the winter of 1998 would be Arthur, Dutch, John, Jack, Abigail, Louise, and Hosea would be living in the carriage house.

Sadie, Charles, Uncle, Grimshaw, Lenny & Sean(roommates) have places in town and visit often during the winter.

The house has 3 cats and one dog, kind of a fucked up looking pitty mix. His head is a little smushed and he’s not very smart but he keeps Arthur company. Most of the time the dog will go on the road with them, but Arthur rides back home with him for company. When they adopted the dog, Dutch wouldn’t shut up about how “ugly and stupid” the creature was and named it “George Dubbya” most of the gang call him Dubbya apart from Arthur who just calls him George.

All character ages coincide with 100 years before. Arthur born in 1963 and so on. Louise is one year older than John, born in 1972. Heres a very helpful timeline!

Jobs for the gang in the off season/when they’re home:

Most of them sell weed and psychedelics for Dutch but Arthur is the main breadwinner during the off season. He’s built a decent reputation in town and a lot of folks depend on him to deliver their drugs safely. Arthur also works for a frozen grocery delivery business(like the swans trucks) and brings home any thing that falls off the truck, keeping the house fed in the winter.

Dutch does not have a “real” job but makes enough to pay property taxes and utilities thru his illegal side hustles, mostly executed by those in the house.

Hosea is retired 🙌

Louise gets a serving job once she’s living in the house with everyone. She works at the Red Lobster in town or something like that.

Still considering John’s job, he might work for a construction company later in life but I’m considering giving him something like an airport security job in the winter.

Lenny manages a pizza joint where Sean is a pizza delivery boy. Instead of dying both of them leave for school but Lenny is older than Sean and leaves a year before him. Sean doesn’t know what to do without his roommate around and drives the gang crazy.

Charles lives in town and doesn’t tour with the gang. He’s married and lives in a trailer with his wife. Arthur sells to them and they get close during the summer of ‘98. Charles is a paramedic and is the first responder to Hosea’s car wreck. He gets the drugs out of the car before the cops show up god bless him.

(This is some wooey wooey esoteric shit so if you’re not into that please feel free to ignore this nonsense about the haunted house character) The house is absolutely haunted but after staying there most of his life, Arthur has kind of come to terms with it and is the best as far as dealing with the strange happenings. The way each resident reacts to the house is very specific and draws from their relation to the house. The house pushes people together and apart thru its seasons. It affects Louise in an attempt to drive her into Arthur’s arms. It gives Jack nightmares. John is not receptive to it. It keeps Arthur safe when he’s alone. It drives Dutch even further into himself.

Running timeline-ish:

(I will edit this after I post it shhhh I’m really just jotting things down 😭 I love writing shitheads and sometimes it’s hard to give them the respect and gravitas they deserve or don’t, especially when I’m just trying to work out logistics.)

Arthur has a public freak out in the early spring of 1998 when the gang heads out on the road and Dutch decides it’s not safe to keep him on the road while they’re actively engaged in illegal activities. Arthur agrees to some degree and heads home for the season. This feeling of uselessness plagues him for the rest of his life. He doesn’t return to the scene.

Louise has been kind of on the run since she escaped the troubled teen industry about 10 years back in 1988. She’s been sleeping on couches, stripping, hiding out in the party scene around LA but never secured a place to stay and has completely cut off her parents.

Dutch meets Louise in summer 1998 and they immediately hit it off and start going out. It doesn’t last long and by the beginning of fall 1998 Dutch is already thinking of a way to get rid of her. In mid October, Dutch swings back by the house to enact step one of his new plan to cut off two limbs in one strike. With very little patience or compassion for Arthur’s mental state, he knows spending the winter locked up with a basket case isn’t in his best interest. If he can get Louise to cheat on him with Arthur, he’ll have an excuse to kick them both out of the house. Dutch explains the situation to to Louise, telling her she has to pay $150 monthly for rent, chores she must maintain, and so on and so forth if she expects to have a place to stay for the winter. Arthur is not clued in on these plans, nor does he know that Louise had dated Dutch until she has the chance to explain it to him. Arthur’s only contact to the gang til they return for the winter is periodic calls from John or Charles who actually take the time to check on him. They’re pretty clueless on the Louise situation.

When Arthur hears the bus pull up to the house, he runs out side thinking he might get to see young Jack or maybe even Hosea, but the only person who steps out is Louise and the bus drives off. He doesn’t know the truth about what’s going on until he asks John for clarification over the phone but he can’t say much. Louise is free with the information she gives Arthur and Arthur is quick to understand Dutch’s intentions. He does his best to stay away from Louise for the rest of the fall, but it’s a fruitless effort and they end up sleeping together.

(Timeskip, will fill in later)

the following is moreso what happens within the red dead redemption 1 and 2 timeline.

Arthur OD’d in 2002 after acid broke his mind and he went on to harder drugs to deal w the mental pain. Like to think he and Louise managed to get an apartment together but Arthur missed his family too much to deal with it. Louise(ESPECIALLY, possibly trying to pass blame off because she feels responsible herself? Is she? Up to intetpertation), John and almost everyone else kind of blame Dutch for Arthur’s death(makes sense) and the gang dissolves. Dutch breaks when Hosea dies in a car crash, heading home for the season in fall of 1999.

Since John moved out, Dutch has been harassing John with CPS calls and other various insane threats. John shows up back at Dutch’s house in winter 2008 back where it all started to end this whole mess, shotgun in his hands, snow falling, crunching under his feet as he approaches the house. The recession has really taken a toll on the Marston household, cps calls are getting harder to deal with. Bill is inside helping Dutch defend his house and threatens John’s life. John didn’t come here with the intention to hurt anyone, but bill fires a shot in his direction and it comes far too close for John. In self defense, John takes Bill out with the shotgun. The whole thing culminates in Dutch climbing up on the roof in some wild display of ownership over his space and he looses his footing, falling to his death.

We fade to black and then a news broadcast comes on screen and displays the events of the murders: man shot trying to defend friend’s home, owner shoved off roof. No evidence pointing to killer. We pan out to see John, Abigail, Uncle, Charles, Sadie and 13 year old Jack watching the news broadcast.

[msfbgraves]

I always enjoy your takes, so my question is: why do you think Daniel is characterized 95% of the time as the "bottom" in a male/male relationship? He even gets this with his wife Amanda sometimes! In Omegaverse stories he is almost always an Omega, and if not, either gets "bitched" into one, or is still the bottom as a Beta. Is it the smaller stature? Personality? The doe eyes?

I think a couple of things come together. Perhaps, for a lot of female writers, Daniel is easy to project on; he's treated as a lot of women are several instances in canon. Secondly, Ralph really doesn't mind playing Daniel as frightened and doe eyed; or at least playing the follower in a relationship to a strong man or woman. Still, if you only restrict this to Daniel, he may be happy to be sweet and doe eyed with Ali, Amanda, Mr. Miyagi, Johnny Chozen and Terry, he is not that way with his mother, Kumiko and absolutely not exclusively that way with everyone he does make doe eyes at. I really wonder which sides men who write him or gay women who write him emphasise, and/or other people to whom bratting/bottoming/receiving doesn't appeal. I feel he's very good in being the yin to someone's yang or, with Kumiko and his Ma, the yang to someone's yin. But with such a lack of interesting actual female characters around, Daniel being a rich character and clearly not opposed to playing the preyed on part, he's a goldmine for people who feel that way to project on, many of whom are women who identify with someone who is both often treated as real life women are and is still allowed to be a lead with a personality, because Daniel is a guy. And there are so few of those characters around. If you want a man who takes the lead to write about, that's like 98% of all characters on tv. So if you finally have someone who makes scared doe eyes at people and defers to his wife (!) and knows from experience what it means to be disregarded and sexually harassed in canon, why focus on those other traits? He has them but the girls and the gays (though again, since Daniel is apparently also a lesbian, I'm curious how they see him!) never get anyone to play with, who actually goes through what he goes through and is allowed to be a lead! And contain multitudes. It's too good. And if Daniel has orher traits, that's fine, but those don't fulfill that need to be actually represented. Because women nowadays so seldom get to be feminine and human. Even Sansa Stark only gets to be cutthroat and feminine whilw constantly having to say she's stupid and frilly. And female power is so often magical, which, cool, but magic and superpowers are not available to us. And some women, like Daniel, don't want to be masculine to be accepted. Daniel when he wants is gleefully flirty, making bedroom eyes at customers. He gets to revel in a way women still so seldom do without getting punished. Joan Holloway? She may look like the femininity gives her power but only until it gets her sexually assaulted. That only stops when she takes a more masculine coded role. Daniel doesn't aspire to that. He wants to cook, do kata, take care of his kids and seduce people into buying cars with zero excuses.