The secret to a long lasting relationship is making uncomfortable conversations normal. Addressing unpleasant truths; pointing out the traits that bother you; being told about your own drawbacks; and being corrected sometimes. And everything with zero fear of offending the other person. You need to have the courage and tactfulness to adjust, compromise and protect your integrity at the same time.
-Sabina Yesmin
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Picture this: 15 year old Sammy sitting on a rickety deck in too-short cut offs, swinging his legs and splashing at the water with a soft smile on his lips. Skinny but with skindeep muscles. Shaggy hair wet, slicked back but falling onto his forehead shyly. He tips back his head, sighs as the sun's warmth kisses his face. He's unaware of his brother watching him from his perch on a shoreline rock, a slight frown on his full lips. Dean is struck with an unfamiliar feeling, his eyes squinting at fresh sharp angles - he's jealous of the sun.
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I’ve been so low lately and I’m doing my best to pull myself out of it. So here’s a reminder for me and anyone else who is feeling the same. 🖤🖤🖤
“Life is somewhere in the middle. Somewhere amidst all the love and the pain. It’s between loads of laundry, small sips of coffee, trips to the grocery store, dinners out with loved ones, or even during those humid summer thunderstorms. Life is right there in front of us. Pulling us along on our own journey.”
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The shore crashes over me
Inhaling a salty mist
When you left it felt like drowning
Knowing I would never be missed.
The sand runs between my fingers
Like the memories in my head
Flickering through a photo wheel of all the times you said
You’d never leave.
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I love how "ok so" has become shorthand for "get comfy this gonna take a while"
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TIPS for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
1. REMEMBER that any relationship is so much more than just a feeling. It requires an adequate amount of communication, reciprocation and space for one to grow within it.
2. PAY ATTENTION to how they treat your trivial affairs, and pay attention to how that makes you feel. Then, let the other person know. Avoid forming assumptions based on your limited perception.
3. GIVING with an abundant heart is a pretty gesture in any relationship, but always being the one to give may actually be a siren call. Be aware.
4. SET BOUNDARIES. Do not ever forget who you were before you crossed their path. You were a complete being with a goal to reach before they were ADDED to your life.
5. If you constantly have to find different ways to gain their attention, CALCULATE if you are investing your time and energy in the right place. A good person and a person with a good understanding of relationships aren't always the same people.
6. LEARN to say NO to yourself when you know that hanging onto a person or a feeling wouldn't bring you any growth. Do not become the clip to your own wings. Do not become your own prison.
-Sabina Yesmin
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PSA regarding tumblr’s latest Censorship Nightmare
For those of you who haven’t seen this announcement, tumblr recently made some changes to the iOS version of the app, purportedly to comply with Apple’s content guidelines. These changes took effect on Dec 21, starting in version 22.5.1 of the iOS app. As some of you may recall, Apple’s strict guidelines were the driving force for the infamous Great Purge of 2018, which coincidentally also happened around this time of year, but it seems banning all of the female-presenting nipples wasn’t good enough for Apple.
Below is a summary of the important changes. Note that these changes technically ONLY affect those using the iOS app. If you’re accessing tumblr through a different app or operating system (Google Chrome, Android app, etc) it won’t affect you directly but it will affect your followers who use iOS so you should definitely be aware of it.
The list of banned tags has been expanded. As before, there’s no way to know which words or phrases have been banned until you try searching for them, in which case you’ll either get no search results or the following message: “This content has been hidden because of potentially suggestive or explicit content.” You may think this doesn’t concern you if you don’t post explicit material, but do not make the mistake of expecting the banned tags to be logical or reasonable. I've already encountered multiple completely innocuous posts (random fandom gifsets) that seem to be hidden on iOS for no discernible reason.
Blogs that have been flagged as explicit can no longer be viewed. Previously, flagged blogs just had their posts hidden from searches, but if you knew the username you could still visit it after clicking through a warning about sensitive content. Now you can’t access it at all.
Likes and reblogs from blogs that have been flagged will no longer show up in your notes. This one won’t affect most people’s user experience as much as the others, but it does mean you may be missing notes. It’s unclear if likes and reblogs from flagged blogs will still count towards the overall note total (and only be missing from the activity feed and note viewer) but I suspect that’s the case.
THE BIG ONE: ANY POST TAGGED WITH A BANNED TAG WILL NO LONGER SHOW UP ON YOUR DASHBOARD. Previously, if you tagged a post with a banned word or phrase (even if the words were used inside another tag), that post would not show up in searches, but your followers would still be able to see it on their dashboard. Now those posts are hidden from your own followers as well. This includes both original posts and reblogs. And if that wasn’t bad enough, here’s the real kicker: even if you don’t tag something with one of the banned words, if the OP used a banned tag, any reblogs of that post will not show up on anyone’s dashboard (on the iOS app). The only saving grace here, and I hate to even call it that, is that the blocked posts are still visible if you visit a blog directly or if you have post notifications turned on.
As usual, tumblr was extremely unclear and evasive about all of this in their official announcement. Not surprising, of course, since if more people were aware of these new draconian tactics I can’t imagine there wouldn’t be more of an uproar about it. Tumblr claims that these changes are somewhat temporary and that they are currently working on something that will allow for a less restricted iOS experience, but they refuse to say what that something is and when it will be implemented. And let’s just say, considering their track record, I’m not hopeful.
All of this is horrible and infuriating for many reasons, but the worst part is how insanely counterproductive it is to creating the “safe” environment tumblr (or more specifically Apple) supposedly wants.
Tags have always been used for both blog organization and filtering purposes. Tagging posts with triggers and content warnings is a common practice that gives users the ability to filter out content they may find upsetting or just don’t don’t want to see for whatever reason. By choosing to ban a bunch of unlisted “sensitive content” tags, all they’re doing is encouraging people who want to share that kind of content to come up with alternative less well-known tags or simply not tag that content at all anymore if they want it to show up on their follower’s dashboards, thereby making it more likely for someone to encounter it when they didn’t want to.
So really, with all of the alleged concern for safety and “protecting the children,” all they’ve done is make tumblr less safe for everyone. Typical.
UPDATE (Jan 11, 2022): An optional toggle setting now exists to disable these changes. Please follow this tutorial to allow “sensitive content” on the iOS app.
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paused Neverafter and got maybe the best face to represent a cat that a human is capable of making.
Arrogant and smug but somehow simultaneously bored. The whole face says "you can keep talking if you want but I need to make it very clear that I will not be paying attention".
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