#n that moment is finally here. once the credits roll on this bitch my soul will be released and i will ascend

[mwagneto]

astaghfirullah i am going to pay to watch an mcu movie this week

[starrynite7114]

TikTok Challenge: Friend

A/N: Back with another! I’m so glad you guys enjoyed the EZ TikTok Challenge. I think I might do one for EZ as well, would you all like to see that? Give me some requests for the EZ TikTok Challenge if you do want me to continue.

Enjoy this latest installment for Angel’s little family! <3

Another update for everything is you and everything is you shorts should be up soon, but I really want to update Snapshots and Misconstrued first. Thank you for patiently waiting for your requests as well, I work on them little by little, I promise, I will have them up soon!

TikTok

Word Count: 1097

Masterlist

Request tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @thewarriorprincessxo : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life :  @onmyspookysblock : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon  : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812​ : @un-poetryy : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt​ : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer​ : @khyharah​ : @strawberrywritings​ : @cherry-icetea​ : @fuzzy-jellyfish​ : @losolvidad0s​ : @brownsugarcoffy​ : @courtrae89​ : @prdsdjarin​ : @blessedboo​ : @marvelmaree​ : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ : @thesandbeneathmytoes​ : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind​ : @maddie-georges​ : @pearlkitten33​ : @aquamento​ : @incorrect-mcdanno​ : @that-chick212​ : @rebel-without-cause-x​ : @inscribeddiatribes​ : @kaystacks17​ : @mindless-x-dreaming​ : @justlikebreathing​ : @jadesamhart​ : @imanerdychubbyqueen​ : @deeandbobbymcgee​ : @60shannon​

If you would like to be added to the tag list!

CREDITS TO THE ORIGINAL GIF MAKER!

You decided to cool it down with the TikTok challenges since you were sure Angel was going to kill you if you pulled another one.

Okay, he wouldn’t.

But you were away from your family for the last two weeks, quarantining due to a possible exposure while at work. You tested negative, but you wanted to make sure you exhibited no symptoms.

When you finally came home, Angel didn’t let you leave bed for three days and you expected it. Being back in Angel’s arms was the best thing in the world. And then your babies also joined you in bed, which you truly appreciated.

After another night shift, taking off your scrubs in the garage that you changed into after showering at a friend’s apartment. Making your way inside in your shorts and tank top, you were greeted by Angel, who was up making breakfast. He gave you a sleepy smile, which you returned with a smile of your own.

“Hey babe,” you wrapped your arms around him from behind, kissing his back. “Why are you up?”

“Wanted to make you breakfast baby.” He brought one of your hands to his lips, kissing the back of it.

“You’re too good to me.”

“Yeah, well I love that ass so, gotta keep you healthy.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Are the boys still asleep?”

“Yeah, they’re asleep.” Angel turned the stove off and placed the eggs and chorizo he cooked on a plate. Turning around, he placed a kiss on your lips and you groaned, loving the feel of his lips against yours. “Maybe you can skip breakfast and I can help you relax a bit,” he moved his lips down your jaw and to your neck. 

It was only seven in the morning and your kids usually didn’t wake up till ten, but you were far too exhausted.

“Rain check?” You pulled away, pouting.

Angel chuckled, kissing you once more. “Alright,” he pulled away, leading you to the dining table, and pulled the chair out for you. Sitting down, you thanked Angel as he placed the plate of food in front of you.

“Babe,” you called out.

“Chocolate milk, got you.” He placed a glass in front of you. 

You spent breakfast talking about your stressful night and Angel just listened, holding your hand as you ate and talked. He loved listening to you and just having these moments with you. When quarantine hit, Angel was absolutely terrified for you. Besides doctors and nurses, you were the one mostly exposed to COVID patients since you were a respiratory therapist. At some point, you two argued about you choosing to work, knowing you could possibly contract the disease and die. You understood his worries, but this was your job.

Once you were done, you brought your plate to the sink and led Angel to your bed. After washing your face as part of your nightly routine, you slid in bed with Angel, your body half draped over his. You loved his warmth even though you loved having the house at 65 degrees so you could sleep.

“Corazon,” you heard Angel call out as you felt yourself slipping away.

“Hmm,” you managed to reply.

“We making a quarantine baby?” 

You laughed. “Let’s talk about it when I’m more coherent.”

==================

You were tying your hair up when your phone rang. It was a text message from Coco.

You opened it and the content of the text message made you cackle.

Kookie Cruz

‘Hermana, do this TikTok with Angel.’

You clicked on the video and it was a little prank where the woman was on the phone and they called their significant other, friend. 

Oh, this was going to be fun. 

Slipping on your AirPods so you could film Angel easily, you found your boys sitting on the couch playing around. Thiago was on the floor playing with LEGOs while Angel was on the couch playing with Raphael. You sat down on the armchair, lifting Thiago onto your lap when he ran over to you. You gave him a kiss and a hug, which he returned. He went back on the ground to continue playing with his LEGOs. 

“Did you sleep well mi reina?” Angel questioned.

“Yes, so good.” You smiled at him.

“Good, you want to stop by pops later? Get some meat?” Angel gave Thiago a look as he threw a LEGO at him. “Stop, you know we don’t throw things.”

“Sorry papi.” Thiago pouted your pout and Angel just groaned. 

“Sounds like a plan.” You pretended you got a call then. “Hey girl, how was work?”

You watched as Angel was playing with Raphael, your youngest shrieking with laughter. 

“That’s good, I’m just here, chilling with my friend.” You saw Angel do a double take staring straight into the camera.

“Friend?! I’m your husband, querida.” Angel scooted to the edge of the couch. “Who the fuck you talking to?” He held Raphael towards you, your baby boy laughing as his father brought him closer to you. “What am I? A babysitter? I’m your husband, baby. I got kids that need to be taken care of.”

You laughed. “Babe, don’t be rude, I’m talking on the phone.”

“That better be your friend, cause if not, I’ll break quarantine and kick their ass.” Angel stood up and made his way over to you. “Do they want to watch a baby? Does your friend want to watch a baby? Your friend? Baby, got me fucked up. Who you talking to?”

You stopped recording and was dying of laughter. Angel saw your screen and rolled his eyes. He sat back down and placed Raphael on his lap. Raphael maneuvered himself off of Angel’s lap and walked over to you.

“Mama,” he raised his arms and you gladly took him in your arms. You kissed the side of his head, hugging him.

You looked at your handsome husband, who was leaning back, watching the two of you.

“You know what, that’s it, it’s on.” Angel smirked devilishly, making your laughter cease.

“What?”

“You play too much, payback is a bitch baby.” Angel was already thinking of all the ways he could prank you. He wasn’t actually upset, your humors was what bonded you two together, but he couldn’t just let you slide.

“Babe, I wasn’t going to prank you anymore, this was Coco’s idea.”

“That’s even worse.” Angel rolled his eyes. “It’s on baby, you ain’t going to win this.”

“Careful there babe, we both know who the true prank master is.”

“Yeah babygirl, and it’s me.”

And that’s how the prank wars started.

[supernaturaldesires]

A Descent Into Insanity - Chapter Seven

Based on request by @sweetpotato-97

Could ask for a fic of Yandere Dean with a reader who sees him as a best friend and a form of brother for them, of course in the beginning Dean was not a yandere but he changed with the passage of time?

Note: the reader in a way is innocent and does not know that Dean is in love with them.

Pairing: Yandere!Dean x Reader

Additional characters: Sam, Bobby, Castiel

Warnings: Death

Word Count: 1,580

“You son of a bitch!” you screamed at Dean as you launched yourself at him, fist raised and ready to swing. Dean ducked out of the way of your punch just in time, and hooked an arm around your waist. He held you against him, your back pressed against his chest. His other arm wrapped around your torso, pinning your arms to your side. “Let go of me!”

Sam took a step towards you, but Dean tutted at him. “Nuh-uh, Sammy,” he hissed. “Take another step and I swear I’ll snap her neck. If I can’t have her, no-one can.”

“Then I guess no-one’s having me,” you growled as you slammed your heel onto his foot and just as he buckled, you drove your elbow into his crotch. He released you, winded, and you darted forward towards Sam, out of Dean’s reach. 

As Dean began to gain his composure, he glared at you, shooting darts through his eyes. “You said we would be together,” he bellowed. “You said you were mine!” 

“You fucking drugged me, Dean!” You screamed back at him. “Again! Since when is that your answer when someone doesn’t agree with you?”

Dean lunged at you, but Sam was ready for him and tackled him to the ground. Even Bobby darted in front of you, ready to act as the second line of defence. Cas came to Sam’s aid in restraining the elder Winchester whilst Bobby guided you away. You took several steps backwards but couldn’t take your eyes off the man who you had considered to be your brother until just a few days ago.

“How has this happened, Bobby?” You whispered softly, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “What happened to him?”

Bobby sighed as he watched over Sam and Cas, who had now been able to restrain Dean to a chair with rope. “I wish I knew,” the older man murmured. You could see in his eyes that he was struggling with the scene himself. After all, he was like a father to Dean and Sam, and to witness your child become a threat to his own family is difficult for any parent to process.

“I can’t stay.” The words broke the silence that had hung in the air for the last hour. You, Sam and Bobby had been sat around the kitchen table, while Cas kept an eye on Dean. Since you had all seated at the table, you’d all waited for someone to speak; for someone to find the right words.

Sam lifted his sad eyes to you. “Y/N-” he said gently, but you stopped him. 

“No, Sam,” you insisted. “It’s the only way. You can’t kick Dean out, he’s still your brother. For whatever reason, he’s acting like this because of me. If I get as far away from him as possible, maybe he’ll forget about me.”

“You’re still family,” Sam argued. “We can find a way to sort this out.”

“And even if you did leave,” Bobby added. “There’s nothing to say he will forget you, that he won’t try and look for you. Obviously we’d do what we can, but we can’t exactly lock him up forever or keep him under 24-hour surveillance.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel safe around him anymore.” Your voice was beginning to crack as tears resurfaced. “And you’re right Bobby, we don’t know that he’ll forget about me.” You lifted your eyes to meet theirs, tears now rolling down your cheeks. “But I have a plan.” 

Dean’s POV

“What is going on with you, Dean?” Cas asked for the fifth time. Still, I didn’t answer him, keeping my gaze fixated on the floor. All I could think about was Y/N. Where was she? I needed to see her. I needed to apologize for threatening her before. If I could just talk to her, I could make her understand. “Dean!”

“Shut up, Cas!” I growled. “I’m not talking to anyone except Y/N!”

Cas got in my face, gripping my shoulders tight. “Damn it, Dean, something is happening to you. You need to tell me what is going on.”

“Nothing is going on!” I roared. “I just. Want. Y/N!” I fought against the restraints so hard that I nearly tipped the chair over, but Cas kept me upright. I glared at the angel until he finally gave up and sat in the chair opposite me. We both sat there unmoving, in complete silence, as the hours ticked by.

There was no clock in the room so I had no sense of how long had passed, but it must have been hours - perhaps even half a day. Where was Y/N? What if she had left? My fists balled and my throat clenched at the thought. If she had left, where would she go? She didn’t have any family besides us, I wouldn’t even know where to start looking for her. Suddenly my bedroom door flung open, interrupting my thoughts. Sam marched in first, but he didn’t even look at me. His eyes immediately fell on Cas and beckoned him to step outside. Where was Y/N? I craned my head, but they closed the door behind them. I screamed at the closed door in frustration.

Only a few moments passed before they re-entered; Sam first, followed by Cas, then eventually she glided in. Maybe it was prolonged amount of time away from her, but she looked more dazzling than ever. “Y/N,” I breathed with relief. “I’m so glad you’re safe, that you’re here. I was getting so worried. Look, I’m so sorry about-”

“Listen, Dean,” she said firmly, folding her arms and addressing me in a stern tone as though I was a child. “Whatever this is needs to end. This isn’t normal. This isn’t healthy.”

“Y/N, please let me explain,” I rasped. “I’m sorry about earlier, truly I am. Please understand that I love you. I realise this kind of love I’m feeling is different, but that doesn’t make it any less real.” I was beginning to shake with panic now. I couldn’t lose her. Not now, not after everything. “Please, let me prove myself to you.”

Y/N sighed and shook her head, a forlorn look on her face. “It’s too late for that, Dean,” she mumbled in a small voice. “I’m sorry.”

She began to approach me then and for a split second I had hope that she still felt something for me. Then I saw her hand reach behind and reveal a knife from the waistband of her jeans. “Y/N, what are you doing?” Panic began to flood through me. I looked desperately to Sam who looked equally panicked.

“Y/N, wait!” Sam yelled and launched himself at her, tackling her from behind. They came crashing down to my feet in a cacophony of shouts and groans. Then came a distinctive sound. A horrific, abrupt grunt.

Time seemed to stop for a moment. The air was still, as if not a soul in that room was breathing. “Cas, release me right now!” I demanded, not taking my eyes off my brother at my feet. His large body completely covered Y/N, I couldn’t see her small frame until he shakily came to his feet. It was only then that my eyes adjusted to the pool of blood that was seeping from her body.

My heart stopped beating, my throat constricted. I couldn’t breathe. “No,” I rasped, collapsing to my knees. With shaking hands, I turned her body to reveal the dagger protruding from her chest. “NO!” 

Your POV

“I’ll see you ‘round, Bobby,” you said thickly, trying desperately not to cry. 

The older man gave you a sympathetic smile as he pulled you into a tight hug. “Gonna miss you, kid,” he said softly. “Don’t be afraid to check in every now and again.” Once he released you, he opened your car door and you bundled yourself into the driver’s seat, throwing your duffel bag into the passenger side. “Oh, and Y/N?” You looked up at Bobby. “Using a shapeshifter to fake your death? That’s a mighty smart move. You’re a bright kid - it’s almost scary sometimes. Although, I have to admit that having him bring the knife out on Dean was pretty risky.”

“I know, but if my death was in Dean’s defence, he can’t hold it against Sammy. He might be pissed to begin with, but he’ll understand eventually why Sam would come to his defence. It had to be an accident, otherwise Dean would find someone to blame, to hold a grudge against.”

Bobby shrugged with a grunt as he closed your car door. Winding down your window, you gave Bobby a fist-bump before you pulled away. You were less than a mile away from the Bunker when your phone pinged with a message; just one word from David: “Done.”

After you and the Winchesters had helped David find his brother’s killer a few years back, he had insisted that he owed you a favour, should you ever need it. Sam and Dean didn’t bother taking the guy’s number, but you did. You were never sure you would ever actually need it, but you figured it didn’t hurt to have a few tricks up your sleeve should the time ever come. 

Heading nowhere in particular, you cranked up the volume of your radio and let the wind and the smell of gasoline sooth your worries as you drove into the sunset.

-FIN-

<= Chapter Six

Dean tags: @akshi8278​, @maniacproffesor​

Divider credit: @firefly-graphics

[prose-for-hire]

When the past comes back with bite

Pairing: Spike x vampire!reader

Request: Last anon here! Could you write smth where spike meets his ex he stil got feelings for at wolfram and hart, because w/h is settling her super important demon divorce for her?(maybe her hubby is a demon prince or whatever) and during her marriage she changed from shy sweatheart the a bamf? Your work is AWESOMEEEE btw

Warning: cute anecdote(s) about the reader killing people. Swearing. Mention of everyone Spike’s been with.

A/N: Set in Angel S5 so spoilers if you haven’t seen it. I stole demon prince Barvain from an episode of Buffy. I can get a bit carried away with the back story sorry about that lol

You had been inside the office so long the walls were starting to close in on you. It was getting so desperate you had debated opening the necro-tempered windows and just allowing yourself to be committed back to the earth. This was taking its toll. You were speaking to your lawyer, Mr Gunn, trying to settle what had been a long and messy divorce. And not just messy because you had ‘accidentally’ killed your last lawyer when he suggested that your soon-to-be-ex-husband got the pay-out he didn’t deserve.

To say your husband was a demon prince, was to be hugely inaccurate. You know those emails you get with the sender claiming to be a ‘demon prince sitting on a large pile of jewels just waiting to be given away’? Well, if someone hadn’t heard or received them, they were lucky because his scam had snowballed and taken on many forms over the last few years as humans and demons alike actually fell for it.

“Gunn, this isn’t good enough! I want to speak to the big man”

“Uh, look, you don’t wanna bother him with this, I can sort you”

“I want to speak to Mr Angel. Now” You changed into your game face, but it was just for show. Gunn had really been trying for you, he even got another lawyer upgrade so he could find you more loopholes. He agreed, having heard what you did for a living, not to mention the activities you got up to in your free time. As you were walking through the corridor towards Angel’s office, you heard a familiar voice.

“Y/n… it’s, uh, been a while” the voice spoke and you couldn’t help turning around.

As your eyes connected, your past flashed before you. Stolen moments together with devotion dancing around you like reflection from a kaleidoscope. Your shared love blossoming in dark hideaways, the only sweet thing being your affection for each other.

“Spike!” You exclaimed, moving to hug the vampire you had spent decades with before you had found your husband. This wasn’t how you usually greeted people now, the smile so bright it almost made you cringe but you couldn’t help it. It was really him.

His hand lingered as he hugged you back. He leant into you, as if he wanted to stay there for a while. As if he hadn’t felt and embrace like that in a long time. Your relationship had ended as amicably between you as it could have done, knowing you both needed to part ways. It was one of those, right person, wrong time deals.

“Damn, you know each other? I should have guessed” Gunn said, surrendering and walking past you both. You were one of his most difficult clients. Spike frowned, you were his opposite, how had Gunn decided that? You had been a sweetheart, the one person to soften his evil nature before he had fought for his soul. You were so shy and kind, he had been convinced you had to have a soul hidden on you somewhere.

“How have you been?” You asked, cutting in before the inevitable questions about your very public divorce. He looked panic-stricken at the question, unsure of how exactly to chronicle everything that had happened since you last saw him. He had got back with Drusilla again – big mistake; gone to a little place called Sunnydale; fallen in love with a slayer – didn’t last; and fought to get a soul. He started to open his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by your attention switching to a very grand-looking demon sauntering your way. This, of course, was your husband, the demon prince, and his six-person entourage he never went anywhere without. Your honeymoon wasn’t pleasant. Apparently, he was being represented by a lawyer here too.

“Well, if it isn’t the demon formerly known as my husband” Your smile so achingly fake it was hard to keep up.

“Barvain, demon prince” He tried to shake Spike’s hand but he just stared, crossing his arms.

“Sorry, uh, I don’t care mate” Spike said, looking back at you to try to catch your eye. But your eyes were locked with your ex’s. Staring him down in a way you were often feared for. After a moment of thinking, Barvain’s eyes sparkled, he recognised the description you had given of one of your old lovers.

“Oh, this is the spike? I thought he’d be a little more impressive, all things considered”

“Oi-” Spike started, but you spoke over him.

“Can it, prince of the four corners of fucking nothing”

“Didn’t see you as someone that would run back into a man’s arms like that, but I guess he was always your weakness” He took credit for ‘building you up’ and ‘making you strong’ but your change in attitude was absolutely nothing to do with him.

“Just sore that I’m not crying over the very painless loss of you?” You roll your eyes.

“Yeah, the crying. Tough on the outside but a crumbling mess over your precious Spike inside - I thought marrying you would set you right, but it just made you a vindictive bitch” he quipped, his entourage laughing and joining in as he spoke.

“All right, Barvain, that’s it” You decided, easily changing into your game face and landing blow after blow on the various demons and men that started to walk towards you when you ran at your ex. You easily gained the upper hand, dusting a few vampires that had been taunting you with two swift movements. You went to attack a human but Spike pulled you back both times you tried it. Eventually, you rounded on your ex. If you hurt him, it wouldn’t do you any good - you just wanted to show him you weren’t scared of him. But Spike didn’t know this, so he pulled you back away from him as some lawyers scurried into their offices to lock themselves in so they weren’t caught up in the fight.

Spike had pulled you back but not before you thinned the demon half of his entourage in the process, dust cascading around the corridor like snowfall. You had become somewhat of a fighter. Actually, that was being modest, you had mastered several martial arts, aced weapons training and had made serious money off your talents. People actually came to you if they needed someone threatened or taken out. You were well known and people paid you a lot for it, more than any scam your ex could come up with, hence the messy divorce.

Barvain knew he wasn’t winning in a fight against you, which is why you usually only spoke through lawyers, so he departed with two of his entourage left trailing behind him. Spike turned to you, a mix of impressed and confused. Had he missed something? You were badass all of a sudden. You had never so much as looked at someone wrong when he knew you. He couldn’t help admit that there was something elegant about the way you fought, no matter how brutal.

“Don’t tell me you actually went out with that git” Spike asked, apparently in a bit of a daze. He wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t just dreamed you mercilessly beating up that group without so much as a pause for an unneeded breath. It was so different from the meek person he had once fallen for. He could see it was still you, but you had gotten tough.

“I fucking married him!” You sighed, checking your knuckles for any damage and shrugging.

“You never used to swear”

“You never used to care if I killed people” You said softly, not that you ever really had when you had been with him. You ate when he went out and found someone for you but never really went hunting for yourself. You had been shy talking to people, even humans, to try and get them to come with you into an alley to feed. This became a problem when you and Spike had parted ways, you had stuck to animal blood for the most part. Until, your darling husband had all but driven you to killing. You had a lot of free time on your hands after you were married and it was a surprisingly nice tension release.

You both stared at each other for a moment, you were now stood agonisingly close together. Feelings both of you had never quite forgotten igniting easily. Your gaze never faltered from the other, until Spike finally spoke up, “Drink then?”

“Oh, you bet” You confirmed, following him out.

“To love” He toasted sarcastically, as your bottles clinked together at the bar he had brought you to. Apparently, there was a nice onion flower they served here. You took a sip of your drink, watching him. You had noticed the difference as soon as you cast eyes on him.

“You know, you’re a little different than I remember… tamer perhaps” You teased lightly, his eyes searching your face as if he were trying to memorise every feature, every expression you made in case you disappeared from his life again. Your confidence was so new to him, he really liked it. You had blossomed since he last saw you, but your face was exactly the same.

“You heard about that?” he asked finally, wondering if this meant he was going to have to fight against you one day.

“I didn’t believe it at first, a soul suits you though” You complimented him, he had always been so gentle with you but it was so fascinating to see how he coped with a soul.

“And your new attitude suits you” He added, a nod of approval and a smile on his lips as your eyes locked. He had never once stopped thinking about you. He had been with people since you, Drusilla for a while. Harmony, even the Slayer. But even through that, his mind had always wondered to you. Thinking what you might have been up to. Wishing you had stayed in contact. Hoping against everything that you had kept yourself safe, not getting yourself caught. You had been so sweet, he had been scared you would have let someone dust you for being an inconvenience.

The look in his eyes told you he was reminiscing as you were, remembering the times you had spent together. He moved in, closing the gap between you, lips meeting yours so gently you were surprised it was him. After you adjusted, the kiss as sweet as the one you shared to say goodbye, his hand moved to cup your cheek as you rested a hand on his chest.

The kiss reminding you of how you were back then. How you were his. You wouldn’t change back to how you were, but you wouldn’t mind getting to know him again. Your lips moving against each other, as if no time had passed. He clung onto you, as if he were scared you were an apparition of his own design. He tried to deepen the kiss but you knew it wasn’t wise. You were still technically married after all. You moved from him, smiling and telling him you should go, getting up to leave.

“Will I see you again?” he asked, the desperation in his eyes fuelled by more than the one beer he had been nursing since you arrived at the bar.

“Oh, Spike, I really hope so” You said honestly, smiling at him before sauntering out of the bar, knowing for a fact that he was watching you walk out.

[wreckofawriter]

Fine Line

Word count: 2,459

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Pureblood!Reader

Warnings: A bit of swearing

Summary: When Y/N sworn enemy stands up for her she is left confused by a confession.

A/n: Sorry I havent posted in a while I have been unbelievably busy.

Not my gif btw credit to owner

“There was a fine line between love and hate you heard that cliche all the time. But no one told you that the moment they crossed it would be the one least expected. You’d fall in love and crack open a secret door to let your soul mate in You just never expected such closeness one day to feel like an intrusion” - Jodi Picoult

You had heard the saying there is a fine line between love and hate too many times for your liking, your friend seemed to repeat it daily to you. Personally, you did not agree with that statement, they were completely different feelings. You believed it was like saying there was a fine line between yellow and purple which is far from true.

As you watched him stalk toward you, your previous accusations were confirmed.

“Oh look if it isn’t broken hearted Y/L/N” He sneered when he reached the tree you were sitting in.

“Malfoy” You scoffed back dropping to the ground. You landed in a crouch stood up and straightened your robes. “Here to insult me or hex me?”

Despite both being Slytherins and born from respectable pureblood families your hatred was strong for each other, ever since you fought over a cabin on the Hogwarts Express first year.

“I just wanted to know why you weren’t sitting with your boy toy recently.” He challenged. Usually, Malfoy was bad but ever since you had started to date Jacob he had become intolerable.

“None of your business.” You started promptly.

“He broke up with you didn't he.” he mocked, laughing “What he couldn’t handle looking at you all day.” He’s gargoyles behind him laughed.

“I would kick you in the teeth, but what's the point in improving your looks.” You retorted, swallowing the pain of the fresh wound he had just poured salt into. He scoffed his permanent smirk disappearing for a split second before returning. “Did you have a reason for this charming visit.” You asked sarcastically.

“Not entirely. Just to see how the break up went.” He mused picking at his perfect fingernails.

“Well then, if I through a stick will you leave?” This one got to him, and his cocky demeanor dropped.

“Did you just call me a dog Y/L/N?” He questioned dropping his hands and clenching them in fists.

“In fact I did.” You said turning curtly your hair whipping his face, gathered your books and turned to leave. You simply wanted to be in bed.

When you returned to your room you found your best friend Celo sitting on her bed a book held in her hands about two inches from her face. You let out a giggle at her position and confused expression.

“What?” she asked

“I just want to know why you are trying to enter that book like its a portal.”

“It's an exciting book.” She shrugged.

You laughed again, “You coming down for breakfast?” you grumbled scuffing your shoes on the ground.

“Yeah give me a sec,” she glanced at your sad demeanor, “You don’t seem like to want to."

“Not only do I have to deal with Jacob but Malfoy is being a dick again. Godric, I hate him” You sighed.

“You know there's a fine line between lo-”

“If you finish that sentence I will hex you.” You interrupted.

Celo rolled her eyes. Unlike you, she wasn’t blind to Dracos pathetic attempts (if you call insulting you attempts) to flirt with you. He was terrible at it, but Celo was convinced to get you to notice. She always pointed it out when she caught him staring at you, she tried to tell you that you were the only one who could get to the Slytherin boy with your insults, but it was no luck you were blinded by your hatred.

You began to gather your stuff your mood getting momentarily better until you saw Jacobs sweater lying in the ground and sighed. It had been a week and you still didn't have the heart to touch the damned thing.

“You know I could move it if you wanted.” Celo pointed out.

“Nah,” You sighed. You almost left it where it lay but you couldn’t, you just couldn’t. “I will.” with that, you summoned all the courage you had and snatched his sweater off the ground. With this sudden rush of adrenaline, you decided you would return it to him. Right now.

“You know what, I’m going to give it to him.” You stated.

“I don’t know if that's the-”

“I don't care he treated me like shit and I will not keep his sweatshirt because I am scared of a measly Ravenclaw.” You yelled.

“Alright” Celo sighed knowing that once you decided to do something, there was no stopping you, you were definitely put in the right house.

You walked into the great hall loudly, stomping your feet. You always had a loud way about you, when you walked into a room everyone knew it. You weren’t afraid of Jacob or his smug Ravenclaw pose either. Heads turned as you walked straight up to Jacob and his smirking friends.

“Y/N, I thought I made it clear we were over.” He scoffed.

“I was simply returning your sweatshirt.” You growled.

“You can keep it. Give it to the next guy you sleep with.” He mused playing with his fork.

“You Jacob Tahlin, are the reason God invented the middle finger,” You sneered as you threw the sweatshirt at him.

“Don’t worry you will have your finger shoved down some other dudes throat in no time.”

Your eyes went wide. Mouth dropped open. Anger ran through you like boiling water. Then you took a step closer and slapped him. Hard. Backhanded. So hard your ring had pierced his skin.

“You bitch!” he shouted his hand pulling away from his cheek with blood on his finger tips. He then began to get up and face you, but before he could even set down his fork he had a wand to his throat.

“You take one more step and I will not hesitate to kill you.” seethed a familiar voice through clenched teeth.

You watched as the platinum-haired boy pushed Jacob backward so his legs were against the bench he had been sitting on. The smirks were wiped off his friend's faces.

“W-woah there Malfoy, d-don’t get your p-panties in a knot.” Jacob stuttered clearly nervous.   As he put his hands as a sign of surrender. Every eye in the hall was on the scene playing out in front of you.

“You listen to me Tahlin.” Draco spits his mouth filled with venom, “If you even look at her the wrong way one more time, I. Will. Kill. You.”

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” Jacob asked suddenly regaining his snarky attitude.

“Who am I? I’m the guy who can turn your life into a living hell with the snap of his fingers.” Draco continued still learning and closer and closer to Jacob.

As you observed you saw Jacob slowly move his had towards his robe pocket. Your body filled with fear and anger once again. You snatched your own wand from your robe, “Stupify!” tumbled from your lips.

Jacob shot straight backward knocking over the bench and flying over the table. Every single eye in that room was on you but the only ones you could focus on were a pair of bright silver ones which stared at you wide with surprise.

“Miss Y/L/N!” you heard McGonagall shout but you couldn’t take your eyes off of the Slytherin in front of you. “You are coming to my office right now!” she gasped. “Someone please help that boy.” She yelled as she dragged you out of the hall.

After a long hour lecture about fighting in school, losing your house 35 points and gaining a month of detention you were finally let go thanks to Snape demanding he needed you to come to a class which you didn't have for another hour. He, of course, let you go the second you left the classroom.

As you sat in the library you couldn't help but think of Draco. Ever since this morning, you wondered why. Why would Draco step in front of you? Why not laugh and watch as he did with everyone else? Why help you? Your thoughts were cut off by the very boy on your mind.

“Y/N?” You looked up to see Draco standing in front of you.

“Hey Draco,” you mumbled as you lay your head on your crossed arm in front of you. He sat in the chair next to you taking the same position you were in and faced you. For a minute or two, you just sat there in awkward silence staring at each other, where all you could think about is how his eyes shone, and his hair looked so smooth and how amazing it would be to kiss that precise jawline to his soft pink lips.

"So umm..." Draco muttered.

“Why?” you spoke.

“What?” he said blinking twice as if he had just woken from a nap.

“Why did you do it?” you continued, searching his face which still looked confused. “Ya, know, step in front of me, stop Jacob. We aren’t friends, well to be completely honest I didn't think you liked me at all and I definitely didn't like you. So why?”

Draco turned his head so his chin was resting on his arms instead of his cheek and he was facing away from you. He stared straight ahead not daring to look at you because he knew if he did, everything he had managed to hide for five years would come tumbling out.

“Draco?” you asked. He sighed still not looking at you.

"Draco?" You asked again.

“Remember first year when you fought me  for that stupid train cabin?” He asked his eyes locked on a far away bookshelf.

“Of course.” You said “I also remember winning that fight” you chuckled.

“Yeah.” He said smiling but not his usual smirk a genuine smile showing his perfect pearly smile. “I think that's when it happened.”

“Yeah, I think that's why I started to dislike you too.”

    This time he laughed. He actually laughed. The sound was addictive, you wanted to hear it’s sweetness again. “I remember when I saw you, and Merlin where you small, smaller than me by far, and I thought to myself ‘This will be easy, this girl will leave the second she sees me.’ and boy was I wrong” he was still smiling as he talked. “I remember walking up to you and telling you and your friends to leave, and you said, ‘Make me.’ and when I told you to again, you said, ‘Right now I need something only you can provide.’ ‘and what's that’ I said. And you replied with ‘Your absence.’ I and I think that is the exact moment, I fell in love with you” He was now looking straight down at the table the color creeping up to his cheeks. You weren’t sure what to do with his sudden confession so you just sat there staring at him your mouth open slightly.

    “At first I convinced myself you were just a pretty and I was being ridiculous but then I started to notice things. Like how the only time you cried is when you were reading a sad book. Or the way your Y/H/C hair flows like a waterfall down your back. Or how when you know your brilliant insult got to me your eyes would shine. Or how you could always turn a bad situation into a good one. Or how you would never call anyone a mudblood. Even when that stupid prick of a boyfriend of yours was screaming at you this morning. You didn't even think of the word.”

He looked at you now waiting for your reaction. But you were too stunned to say anything you just stared. “When you started dating him I felt like my heart was ripped from my body. Every day I would see you sit with him. Laugh with him and I couldn’t function. I wouldn’t go to meals anymore. My grades drop and my happiness along with them. I’m sorry I was such a dick all these years. I just couldn't deal with the fact that I was in love with you.” He sighed, looking at you again your eyes were wide your mouth still slightly ajar.

“Clearly, I’m an idiot and you definitely don’t feel the same so I will be going now.” He said standing, “I am truly sorry for being so rude, you didn't deserve that.” And with that, he walked away. Leaving you confused and bewildered. You just sat there for a minute processing all the information that had just been given to you.

“Fuck it.” You muttered standing and running after him. “Draco!” you yelled sprinting down the hall. You tripped on your robes and stumbled to the ground causing a few bystanders to giggle. You flipped them of striped your robes and continued after him.  Just in your skirt and blouse, you ran. You managed to see him just before he turned a corner.

“Draco!” you yelled again picking up your pace as you turned the corner you ran as fast as you could to catch up with him. When you finally reached him he kept walking. “Draco.” He kept walking. “Draco!” Still walking “God dammit Draco look at me.” You said grabbing his shoulder. He turned and you saw the last thing you would never expect; his eyes were rimmed with red and puffy a tear still sliding down his pale cheek. “What? He mumbled looking at anything but you. “Here to rub it in my face Y/L/N?” He asked furiously wiping his tears.

“No, I’m here to do this.” You said and without thinking twice you grabbed his tie and pulled his lips onto yours.

It took less than a second for Draco to respond to you; his lips moving in sync with yours as he moved his hand to your hips, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss sliding his tongue into your mouth as you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him as close to you as possible. Everything else seemed to disappear, it was just you and him. You felt your heartbeat quicken a spark ignite inside you and you know that he felt the same.

Finally you broke apart both of you gasping and out of breath.

“I love you” He whispered shyly looking down at you; his grey eyes piercing yours, his cheeks flush.

“I love you too.” You said as you began to lean in to kiss him again. You placed your lips on his but were interrupted.

There was a loud thump as Celos books hit the ground, “Holy shit” She said, “I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it!” She was jumping up and down. “I told you there was a fine line between love and hate.” She said excitedly. And for once you actually agreed as you pulled Draco in for another kiss.

[taeken-my-heart]

Independent {f} Chapter 14

Summary: Your mom calls you stubborn, your friends call you wild, and the boys you’ve left in your wake call you a frigid bitch.  You’ve built a life of independence and you like it that way. Kim Taehyung, however; seems to be able to change your mind.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: fluff, mild angst

Word Count: 4648

Warnings: This chapter is just an angst fest, I’m sorry! Next chapter gets better, I promise!

**There is a read more linked but it doesn’t seem to be working and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m sorry! TT

                                                    *************

Spring semester was a misleading name. It indicated that it was going to be warm; flowers blooming, rivers and streams melting and warming, getting ready for the impending summer swim parties 

But this, no this was not spring; not yet, at least. A fresh 6 inches of snow greeted you on your reentry to university and after warm greetings to your housemates and giving Charlotte the gifts you’d brought her from Paris, it was back to campus to buy your textbooks and seek out your classrooms in preparation for classes the next day. 

Campus was busy with life, chatter from winter vacation high and the four of you trekked up to the center of campus where the bookstore was, syllabus and book lists in hand. Charlotte asked you all about Paris, insisting that you show her all your pictures and pouting after she’d seen them all. 

“I want to go!” She complained, stuffing her mittened hands into the pockets of her oversized grey coat. “I’m so jealous you got to see all those amazing things.”

“I thought of you the whole time,” you smiled, wrapping your arm around her shoulder and pulling her scowling face next to yours in a side hug as you walked.

The heat of the book store was almost sweltering compared to outside. There were too many bodies and not enough space, but you all needed to be here so there wasn’t much that could be done. Stomping your boots on the carpet and removing your gloves, you began weaving your way through the isles in search of the books listed on your phone. 

“I can’t believe I’m taking Molecular Biology this semester. I’m going to die.” Anna sighed beside you and you turned to raise an eyebrow at her.

“No one told you to go be a forensic scientist.” You teased and she stuck her tongue out at you. 

“You know what, I don’t need your logic.” She sassed. 

“So, what’s going on with Jin?” You asked, turning to glance at Sarah over your shoulder. She smiled; blush high on her cheeks. 

“He’s actually on a plane right now. He spent most of the vacation in California, but he got to spend a few days back home with family.”

“You know that doesn’t answer my real question,” you grinned, “you guys dating or what?”

Sarah laughed, shaking her head and sliding her fingers along a nearby book as a distraction. “Yeah, we started officially dating about a week ago.”

“Well finally!” You huffed, “everyone could see that coming from a mile away.”

“Oh stop!” Sarah blushed and you chuckled, scanning the row of books for the one you needed. H.B. Hawthorne, check. Grabbing the book, you tucked it under your arm and looked back at your list. 

“Go get your books, we’ll chat about this at home.” You waved Sarah off and she smiled, walking around the isle. 

Your class load this semester was a little more intense than last. It wasn’t that you had more classes than before, but that the credit hours were higher. You’d also added a few classes that were required of your major, but if you were being honest, you weren’t sure exactly what they were meant to cover. Like Virtual Form and Space. What even was that?

After scoping out the rest of the books you needed (and finding a basket to put them in because you were foolish enough to believe you could carry them all in the first place) you made your way to the front of the store to wait for your friends. 

Anna came back first, flipping through a page of one of her text books and you grimaced when she showed you the Solving Cold Murder Cases book in her hand. “Can’t believe you actually want to work with dead bodies.”

“To be fair, I want to work more in the lab with test results, but I’m keeping an open mind. Who knows what my true calling with be?”

“Not working with dead people; that’s mine.” You said, nodding firmly and Anna chuckled. 

“Good thing you’re studying Visual Arts.”

Just then you spotted Jimin and Jungkook walk through the door, shaking the snow from their hoods and your heart jumped into your throat. “Jungkook, Jimin!” You called and they both turned to look at you, Jungkook bounding over with a smile and a hug.

“Y/N!” He said, pulling back and Jimin followed behind him, rolling his eyes at his younger brother and chuckling. 

“Hey Y/N.” He said, giving you a quick hug.

“How was Paris?” Jungkook asked, pushing into your personal space and you laughed as Jimin smacked him away. He pouted over at him, rubbing his arm, before turning back to you. 

“It was absolutely amazing.” You said, a little shy from all the eyes on you now that Charlotte and Sarah had also returned. “Biggest adventure of my life. I learned a lot of really valuable lessons.”

“About photography?” Jungkook asked and you looked over at Jimin briefly before turning your gaze back on his over eager younger brother. 

“Yes, and about life.”

“Are all the same guys living together?” Sarah butt in, moving to stand beside you. 

“Yeah,” Jimin nodded, shaking some hair from his eyes, “but this is Jin’s last semester with us so we’re gonna have to find a new roommate next year.” 

“Well you guys should come over for dinner sometime this semester.” Sarah continued, “feels like forever since we’ve all hung out.”

“That sounds like fun!” Jungkook nodded enthusiastically. “This time we could bring something, too, like desert.”

Anna grinned, nodding, “I like the sound of desert!”

Jimin glanced down at his phone as it beeped noisily, lips stretching into a frown. “Ah, sorry to interrupt, but Kook, we gotta grab our books and hurry. We’re on a bit of a deadline.”

Jungkook nodded, eyes widening with understanding. “Ok, yeah. Well we’ll all have to plan something when the semester gets underway.”

You all nodded, exchanging goodbyes before the guys walked quickly into the rows of books to search for the textbooks that would rob their bank accounts of life. “Did everyone get everything they need?” You asked. 

At your friends nods of confirmation, you all worked your way up through the line, paying for your things and bundling back up for a cold walk back to the house.

                                                 *************

The first day of classes were brutal. One, because you were used to not going to classes and restarting an old routine was like whiplash. Two, because you’d made the terrible mistake of choosing an 8am class. There had been later times for this particular class, but they’d been with teachers you didn’t really like or they just didn’t fit into your schedule properly. 

Still, despite the fact that you’d chosen the class that was best timing wisely…it was a terrible decision. Your eyes were screaming from how tired they were as you made your way to the top of campus, scarf wrapped warmly around your face and the wind whipped slurries of snow off the ground and around your head. 

The campus was mostly barren of life, just a few freshmen trudging bitterly to their classes. The joys of being underclassmen. By the time you got to the top of the hill, you were sweating, an interesting juxtaposition to the winter storm raging around your cocoon of coat and scarf. 

You’d worn your coat from Paris wanting to look cute for your first day of school, but now you were realizing the errors of your ways. The peacoat was definitely more fashionable than practical. 

The warmth of the digital arts building was like a welcome hug and you breathed a sigh of relief, unwinding the scarf from around your neck and unbuttoning your coat as you made your way through the empty hallways and into your classroom. 

The professor was already there, unpacking her bag and swishing around the mouse to her computer, and so were a handful of other unfortunate souls. A.K.A, your classmates. 

You chose a seat relatively close to the front in an effort to encourage your attention. It would be more difficult to slack or doze off if the teacher could see you. You nodded a few bleary hellos at some friends you recognized from classes before, before unpacking your bags and getting ready to take notes. 

The class was mostly boring, but it was a quota you had to fill and led you to your 9:30 am photo workshop class, which was far more exciting. Lots of hands on, practical activities that got you into the nitty gritty of what you were even in university for. Because it was just the first day, you spent most of the class going over the syllabus and being introduced to the darkroom and equipment you’d be using over the semester. 

Your last class of the day, an 11am class, was a little more sedated, but you could see it picking up in the weeks to come, once the semester was really underway. The syllabus, at least, promised some exciting material you could work with. 

Your first week followed much the same way; settling back into routine and getting used to the teaching styles of new professors. You had noticed with a sinking feeling in your gut, that you had yet to see Taehyung and for a moment you worried that maybe he’d decided to drop out after all and stay with TTIG in California’s corporate grounds. 

A week to the day after school had once again begun, you found yourself back in the library. You finally had your first real assignment to do and you needed a quiet that your apartment wasn’t currently able to offer. Jin and Sarah were both in the living room, TV blaring while they studied together. You weren’t sure how they did it, but studying with that kind of noise made your ears bleed. 

You chose a desk near the stacks in the back, pulling your laptop from your bag and setting up comfortably behind the comfort of the wooden privacy the desk offered you. Popping in your earphones, you turned on your phone, switching to a station that played the sound of rain for 5 hours straight. A little monotonous, but it soothed you. 

You’d only been studying for around 30 minutes before suddenly needing to pee. You stood up, stretching your legs and making your way to the bathroom. After heading back out once you were done, you paused to glance down at your phone. Sarah had texted to ask if you wanted to go out to eat tonight and you smiled, replying quickly that you’d be done in the library around 4:30 and you’d be up for just about anywhere.

Sighing, you slid your phone back into the back pocket of your jeans before glancing up and freezing. Across the room and standing with a few friends you recognized from his study group last semester, was Taehyung. He’d clearly gotten a tan out in California, the honey glow of his skin making him look even more handsome than you’d remembered him. 

You wanted to go and talk to him, but with all the people around, you knew it wasn’t really the right time. You’d likely just have to go to his house at some point and ask to speak to him. Just as you were about to unstick your feet from the floor and head back to your desk, you watched, almost in slow motion, as Beth walked from around the corner, smiling and running to his side, linking her fingers with his. 

You felt like your heart was going to shatter as you watched him smile down at her before leaning in to give her a quick kiss. Your throat was burning, heavy with emotion. You’d waited too long. 

It had never occurred to you that maybe he would move on. You chastised yourself for even feeling this way; he wasn’t a possession and you were the one to shut him out in the first place, you didn’t really have a right to feel this way. Your heart wasn’t a great listener, though. 

Your eyes were blurry with tears and your throat felt like it was constricting around fire. You walked quickly to your desk, packing your things to go. Screw studying, there was no way you could allow him to see you like this. It felt selfish to cry over him when you’d been the one to ultimately give him up. The walk back to your house was frozen and miserable, your tears leaving icy streaks against your cheeks. If you’d told yourself 6 months ago that you’d be heart broken and crying over a man now, you would have wanted to throw up. Now you really did want to vomit, the emotion so intense as it clawed at the cavern around your heart. 

Slipping into the front hallway of your apartment, you could hear Jin and Sarah’s voices in the living room and you tried to compose yourself before going in. You really weren’t in the mood to divulge how much of a loser you felt you were. 

You tried to slip passed unseen, muttering a quick hello with your gaze focused on the door to your left, but you should have known better. Sarah knew you too well. 

“Y/N?” You could hear the alarm in her voice, hear the shifting of her clothing as she stood from the couch, “what’s wrong?”

You paused in the doorway to the kitchen, shoulders stiff as you willed yourself not to cry again. “Nothing.” You croaked, squeezing your eyes shut in frustration and clearing your throat. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t give me that.” Sarah scolded, coming to stand in front of you, pulling your chin up to look at her. “What happened?”

You couldn’t hear him or see him, but you knew Jin was sitting behind you on the couch and you wanted more than anything to not blubber your eyes out in front of the roommate and good friend of the guy who’d unintentionally broken your heart. 

“I saw Taehyung.” You mumbled, shrugging, and you could feel rather than see Jin’s eyes on the back of your head. 

“Did you talk to him or something? Was he rude?”

“No,” you shook your head and despite your best efforts, you were crying again, “I’m too late.”

“Come sit down!” Sarah insisted, fussing around you as she sat you on the couch, going to the kitchen to grab you something and you dropped your bag by your feet and buried your face in your hands. 

“I feel so stupid.” You cried and Jin scooted close to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and Sarah came back into the room, kneeling in front of you with a glass of water. “Did you know?” You asked, glancing over at Jin and his face fell.

“I’m guessing you’re talking about Beth?” He asked gently and you nodded, wiping the sleeve of your sweater across the top of your lip. He nodded, sadly, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“How long have they been together?” You croaked.

He sighed, pulling his hands back into his lap, lacing his fingers together awkwardly. “Probably around 2 weeks now. She texted him all throughout his internship and they just really clicked.”

You felt like your heart might give out. It was like you’d been dumped, but you can’t really break up if you were never together, could you? “I just feel so sad.” You admitted, taking the glass from Sarah and twisting it idly in the circle of your hands. 

“It’s normal to feel sad.” Sarah said gently, “it’s not easy to let someone go when you care about them.”

The idea of letting Taehyung go made you feel sick to your stomach, insides churning. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath through your nose to calm the nausea. You turned to look at Jin and he looked so sad that you almost felt angry. You didn’t want to be the type of person who incited other people’s pity, it only made things worse. 

“Is he happy?” You asked and Jin squeezed his lips together, like he was trying to keep the words inside. 

“Yeah,” he admitted, “he’s pretty happy.” You nodded, standing and grabbing your bag, pulling it over your shoulder. 

“Good. I want him to be happy more than anything; he deserves it.” You walked quickly towards the kitchen before pausing and turning to look back at your friends. Sarah was still knelt on the floor, one hand resting on Jin’s knee as she kept her eyes trained on you. “Please don’t tell him you saw me…you know, crying.” 

Jin nodded, smiling softly up at you. “Promise.”

You spent the next few hours holed up in your room. Between the attempts at study and a few sessions of wailing into your pillow, you were exhausted. Mostly, you were upset with yourself. This was your own fault; you hadn’t been ready or willing to let him in and he’d moved on. You really couldn’t blame him for that. 

At the end of the day, you really did mean what you’d said to Jin. You wanted Taehyung to be happy. He was such a good guy, so deserving of the love he’d been seeking, even if you couldn’t be the one to give it to him. 

You wanted to be able to look him in the face one day and tell him you were happy for him. You weren’t there yet, but you knew someday you could be. He would just have to be a bittersweet memory that you learned from. Growth was pain and sometimes you really did just burn your bridges. 

Around 5:30 there was a knock at your door and you called softly for whoever was on the other side. Sarah opened the door, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Hey.” She said softly. 

You smiled up at her, index finger bouncing against the surface of your desk with nervous energy.

“We were thinking of going to Harvest tonight, grabbing some soup or something. You wanna come with?”

You shook your head, staring down at the carpet, toes digging into the time worn patterns. “I’m not really hungry.” You said. 

“Ok,” Sarah sighed, “you want me to bring you back something and just leave it in the fridge?”  You shrugged, scratching your fingernail across the top of your wooden chair. “I’ll get you your usual.”

You nodded and she walked across the room, kneeling down in front of you and pulling you into a hug. “I’m so sorry you’re sad.” She whispered, “the pain does go away, I promise. Try and focus on doing things that make you happy.”

You nodded, smiling down at her. “Thanks Sarah.”

After your roommates had left the house, you grabbed your camera, bundling warm into your coat, gloves, and hat, and making your way out into the evening. You needed a distraction. You wandered around aimlessly for a while, unsure of where to go. 

Small roads led to picturesque neighborhoods, icicles hanging from rain gutters and porch railings. You hated the winter, but it sure was beautiful. You snapped pictures here and there, fiddling with the settings and trying new angles. 

The sky was mostly dark, but where the sun had set was still a shadow of light blue and purple. You station yourself in between trees, aiming to capture the lighting just right. The stars above were shining despite the pocket of sunlight still left at the horizon and the picture itself was so beautiful that your heart throbbed a little. If only everything in life could be as awe inducing. 

The slush was beginning to seep uncomfortably into your shoes, but your feet had a mind of their own and you followed their guidance, making your way into a small clearance surrounded by trees, quiet and blocked from the lights of the school around it. 

The snow was pristine, beautiful in its natural state and you realized belatedly that this was the clearing Taehyung had brought you to back in November when you’d gone sledding. It was beautiful, fir trees lining the entire enclosure and you lifted your camera to take some pictures, breathing fog into the air. 

It was amazing the power a cluster of trees could have, blocking out the sounds of the outside world. You felt so far removed from civilization, despite being only a tree line away. It was likely a mistake, but you weren’t really thinking straight so you immediately let your knees buckle under you, plopping in the snow and laying back, letting your camera rest on your chest. 

You were wet and you were cold, but the sky was magnificent. Stars winking down at you from their spots in the universe. You sighed up at the view. It couldn’t fix any of your problems, but somehow, it gave you peace, allowing for a sense of hope to build in your chest. 

You weren’t sure how, but you knew things would be OK. Right now, your heart was aching, but you would move on. You’d missed your shot with Taehyung, but that didn’t mean that there wouldn’t be a shot with another guy somewhere down the line. You’d be ready for him when the time came. 

You stood slowly, shivering as your clothing, now wet with snow, sopped through to your skin. You needed to get home quickly and get warm before you caught a cold; it was maybe already too late to prevent it anyway. 

After returning home and taking a nice warm shower, you cuddled up into bed, listening to the sounds of your roommates returning from dinner. It wasn’t that late, but you felt too tired to stay up, so turning to your desk light, you flipped the switch off and allowed yourself to drift into sleep.

                                                   *************

The next morning you woke late. The sun had long been risen and the house was quiet; you supposed your roommates had already gone to class. You only had 2 classes today and your first didn’t start until 1pm, so you took your time, making breakfast, showering, and getting ready. 

You decided to look your best today. Even though you didn’t really feel that confident on the inside right now, you didn’t need to look the part. There was something to be said for building your confidence in other ways, and though you didn’t think it was smart to always put so much stock in the way you look on the outside, today you needed a little pick me up and a cute look was gonna be it. 

After finishing a very lazy morning routine and even watching an episode of your favorite show, you made your way back to campus and into your cinematography class. In general, your entire schedule this semester was pretty promising and you settled into a brief explanation of what to expect in the class and then a video showcasing work done before, some of the famous names who’d taken the class before stardom, and some movie trailers from movies that the school had worked on directly. Last class you’d merely gone over the syllabus and done introductions, so this was a fun twist. 

By the time you’d left the classroom you were buzzing with excitement, chatting away with a classmate and friend about your expectations for the semester. 

“My dad said that Mike Posner took this class when he was here, and look at him now.” Your friend, Adrian, remarked and you smiled lopsidedly at her. 

“But isn’t he a singer? What does cinematography have to do with that?”

Adrian shrugged, checking her phone before sticking it back in her backpack. “Don’t know, still famous, though. I gotta run to class, only got 20 minutes to make it there and it’s across campus.”

“I wish you luck!” You called, giggling as she waved and bounced off in the other direction. 

You yourself had another class in 30 minutes so you stopped by a vending machine quickly to grab a snack before bundling up again and making your way out into the snow to head to your digital art history class. You were really looking forward to this week because now your classes would actually start to get interesting. 

After class you made your way back to the library to catch up on the work you’d avoided yesterday. Honestly, it was the beginning of the semester so it wasn’t like you were behind on anything, you only had that one assignment, but you liked to feel prepared and ahead of the game. 

You shoved your granola bar in your mouth, staring distractedly at your phone as you made your way down to the first floor of the library. You needed a little peace and quiet that the social atmosphere of the 3rd floor couldn’t afford you. Just as you were stepping through the doors to the first floor, you collided with someone, nearly dropping your phone and gripping the bar between your teeth before looking up, apology dying on your tongue.

“Taehyung.” You breathed, pulling the bar from your mouth. 

His dark hair was fluffy, like he’d just blown it dry, flopping messily across his head. He looked cute. 

“Uh, Hey, Y/N.” He replied, scratching at his chin. 

“How are you?” You asked, looking up at him, watching as his dark eyes darted from your face to the walls around you.

“I’m ok; I’m good. How’re you?”

“Yeah, I’m OK.” You nodded, shifting your feet as the two of you plunged into awkward silence. “I heard you had a good time in California.”

He looked down at you, eyebrows rising in surprise. “From Jin?” You nodded and he continued, “yeah, it was a really cool experience.”

You paused; tongue heavy with the words you wanted to say. I miss you, I’m sorry, I was scared. Nothing felt right, but you should have known your mouth would run before you could really think it through. “I also heard about…you know, about Beth.”

Taehyung frowned, jaw ticking as he clenched his teeth. Perhaps Jin wasn’t supposed to say anything about that, but you’d been the first to see them after all. 

“How long have you guys been together?” You asked awkwardly, the words uncomfortable in your mouth. 

“A little over two weeks.” He said and he sounded annoyed with you. Your heart wilted at the thought.

“Oh.” You nodded. 

“Why oh?”

“I guess it just feels kind of fast.” You commented softly, shrugging.  

“It’s been over two months, Y/N, it hasn’t been that fast. We were never even together. How long do you expect me to pine for someone that doesn’t want me?”

“It was never a matter of not wanting, Taehyung.” You insisted.

“Whatever you want to call it, it doesn’t matter; you rejected me so why are you acting like this?”

“Why her?” You asked. 

“Who, Beth?” At your nod he frowned, “I’m sorry, but it’s honestly none of your business. I offered up my whole heart and you didn’t want it so now it’s time we both move on.” He looked into the distance, nodding at someone over your shoulder, “Look, I gotta go. Have a good semester, ok?” He reached up to pat your shoulder but stopped suddenly, staring at you in discomfort before fisting his hand and dropping it to his side, walking around you. 

You wanted to be sick all over again. You’d really messed up. Not only had you lost out on a guy you’d really liked, but you’d destroyed a friendship. Your bottom lip trembled at the thought, but you refused to lose another night of studying to an all-night cry session. You rounded your shoulders, making your way to a desk at the back of the library and sitting down.

Your broken heart would just have to wait.

____________________________________________

Only two more chapters left in this story and I promise they are MUCH happier than these last few! Thank you so much for sticking around. Please let me know what you think. I’m so curious! xx

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

Copyright © 2017  by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved.

[ryouverua]

Trial 6 -  Oh, I am one yet many (5)

The above inspirational picture was taken seconds before disaster.

Trial: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Tsumugi is not the one-trick pony we thought she was ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION!!!!

NO YOU AIN’T! NO YOU AIN’T I DID NOT SIGN UP TO BE HAJIMEMED, NO SIR I DID NOT!

i mentioned it during the text hellstorm I unleashed when I was mid-playthrough but the way Shuichi says ‘cosplaying’ here is ADORABLE. I love his VA she is so good -

also

oh no

oh no

o h      n o

I can’t just... express how deeply that feeling of ‘oh no’ pervaded my being. My soul.

“THIS IS JUST COSPLAY“ SHE SAYS - AND GOD, THE MUSIC, THE MUSIC IS SO WACKY LIKE THESE ARE JUST SOME NORMAL FTE ANTICS -

wait no this is the ‘let’s start the killing game music’ -

ah that’s why I’m lowkey terrified right now

W-What in the world are those white smears across Hagakure’s eyes??? And oh god the first game too???

WHAT THE HELL TSUMUGI YOU’VE REALLY BEEN HOLDING OUT ON US TELL ME HOW YOU’RE DOING THIS I-I mean oh no, how dare you, this is so awful...

SHE’S TAKEN FULL OWNERSHIP OF JUNKO!PERSONA

AJSLKDF

TSUMUGI

HOLY SHIT

TSUMUGI

IS THIS YOUR FINAL FORM

ironically this got me thinking ‘this would be a really cool cosplay + prop’ once I got over the sheer terror of the situation and I starting thinking, oh, wouldn’t it be cool if you even had a sort of pinwheel mechanism (with the main body of it being hidden by her long hair) that rotated all of these pieces, and have you ever realized that there is a small piece of you that is the monster

also I just realized... she kept putting her glasses on as Junko. But I’m assuming she won’t ever wear them as Hajime. So it’s true - the moment she actually took off her glasses, we really did get to see her final form..

IS THAT KOMAEDA’S HAIR

ALL OF THESE THINGS, I RECOGNIZE ALL OF THEM OMG

This............ this is terrible, terrifying, and also really, really good

don’t say you’re jealous don’t say you’re jealous don’t say you’re jealous okay I’m a bit jealous FFU --

SHUICHI I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE TIMES WHERE YOU DON’T WANT TO PURSUE THE TRUTH I HAVE A TERRIBLE, AWFUL FEELING -

oh no oh no

here I was doing mental gymnastics to justify why she’d be able to cosplay as Junko, a real person

but I was over-complicating things as usual

even the egg has been compromised for her nefarious scheme this truly is the worst timeline

What is with me and stumbling into series that just bloody smash their fourth wall until there’s nothing but broken pieces left

thank you for having twogami right after togami it’s not something I realized I needed and among all this heartbreak is a blessing

THIS IS NOT YOUR CUE TO START PLAYING THE CREDITS MONOKUMA

I am only making it through this trial by sheer force of will and the power of Sweetcheeks’ adorable voice.

Dangan.... ronpa....?

oh god she said ‘we’ she said ‘WE’ THIS IS REALLY NOT GOOD

‘Don’t get too whacky with your theories,’ I said. ‘You don’t want to sound like a total crackpot,’ I said. DAMN YOU SELF I SHOULD HAVE LET MYSELF GO ABSOLUTELY WILD AFTER ALL

So this was invented completely from nothing??? My initial theory had them seeing themselves in someone else’s actual memories as themselves, and having their own brains play tricks on them that way - but all those scenes with them being interviewed by Makoto, of applying to Hope’s Peak, and possibly everything else about them - oh god - how powerful are these lights? How much detail was crammed into them? Can this all be done with a mere flash of a light???

‘We.’ Her use of ‘we’ is interesting, here. It really does feel like Tsumugi sees all of her cosplay personas as actual people that she can channel to ‘help her’ as opposed to just mere characters. Like entities fighting along side of her, not just through her...

also hello ibuki I forgot how much I enjoyed your VA they make me hear seagulls in the distance

aaaaaaw look at how much the art style has improved from the first game!!!

Y.......... YES.......?????? wait actually as someone who is lowkey interested in props and set design - BUT NO WAIT STILL THIS IS WAY BEYOND THAT -

How... the hell... do you cosplay the world?! The entire world?!?!

Is that possible?? If the entire world isn’t real - if it’s all being propped up by you - then -

Who - who are we playing this game for then??? Why make us play it??? Who is watching the game???

I KNEW IT

I AND PROBABLY HALF OF THE PEOPLE PLAYING WERE JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO SHOW UP

......

Did. Did you just say it takes place in the real world.

Oh no -

It... It’s real fiction... because they’ve kidnapped actual people... and brainwashed them... and then trapped them in a situation where they were forced to kill each other to get out?? For things that didn’t exist??? For reasons that weren’t ever real???

Wait - so that means they can get out and it’ll be fine?! That’s..... t-that’s not as bad as I thought, but...

‘STAFF’ OH THAT WORD IS SO OUT OF PLACE -

...............................

There are. There are people backstage. It’s not just Tsumugi. This. This is super not good.

insert inappropriately-timed comment about how I love this VA

Okay. This actually took me by surprise. And I’m kinda terrified to ask.

W.... Why not? Is - Is this actually a space separated from reality? Can they physically.... not go back....???

no wait -

what are you doing

PUT THAT KEY BACK RIGHT NOW

oH

OH UNCANNY VALLEY-LEVELS OF COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

NO DON’T THROW REAL FACES UP THERE -

IS THIS A BLOODY COMMENT BOARD

I mean I know in my head that this is a niconico parody but the fact is they have to translate the comments to suit an english audience so -

omfg no I cannot believe what is coming out of the screen right now

wait wait

Kyoko is my waifu

My husbando Shuichi

first

Sakura is my muscle waifu good taste anon

Bring on the spoilers

LOL are you watching?

I feel like I’m participating too!

she’s shaking

Aaaw, Himiko is still alive.

Wow it’s on? LOL!

this is what the creepy kid at the beginning of the chapter was about

this was who that Makoto kid was

WHERE IS HIS CREEPY-ASS FACE I KNOW YOU’RE THERE MAKOTO

Is this the everyone... the real everyone Tsumugi says she represents, then??? That she’s fighting for? Omg was Kirumi’s motive/trial foreshadowing all along -

Anyway, damn Tsumugi is proud of her viewership.

#humblebrag #musclewaifu

EVERYONE???? LITERALLY EVERYONE?!?!?!

SURELY... SURELY THAT IS THE CONCEITED TALK  OF A MANAGER TRYING TO TALK UP THEIR ‘BABY’.... SURELY...

I appreciate the use of Celes here. This is.... damn dark. They’ve achieved such a peaceful world that the have to manufacture darkness and blood-sport for people to get their kicks???

STIMULATION?!

first of all where’s miu when you need her

SECOND OF ALL ARE YOU SURE HUMANITY WAS BEAUTIFUL, KOREKIYO??? ARE YOU SURE?

“It’s simple economics.”

THERE YOU ARE MAKOTO YOU CREEP

oh no he was... literally... using this game to cope with his problems.... and he said that one day he wanted to be a part of it... oh no.....

..... D... Did one of the comments say that it had been years? That they had been waiting for a few years for the sequel?

Does - does that mean something, or is it just a throwaway audience comment? Why years? If Rantaro was in the last one, why would it have been years for this one to happen??? How old is Rantaro? How old is Tsumugi?!?!

FML I had been wondering how ‘Monokuma’ could exist without Junko existing since they’re inextricably linked. FML.

MONOKUMA CAN YOU STOP ROLLING THE CREDITS, THE MUSIC AND THE TITLE CARDS FOR A MINUTE PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

Because I don’t enjoy having Saioinji’s terrifying eyes trained on me while she questions my intelligence, so I’ll sum up the next question - what season of this gameshow from hell are we apparently on?

I mean, considering Junko’s title... well...

..... yeah it looks better with a V.

the real answer to why they used V3 even though it’s technically not the correct way to say ‘53′ - it’s the aesthetic.

FFFF

I actually screenshot all the parody!title cards and they’re amazing. I’ll post them just once a bit later when it shows up again because this post is entirely too long, but needless to say, whoever designed them had fun. And the titles of the games, too - Birth of Despair? Dream Danganronpa? Sign me tf up! oh no does this make me part of the problem I’M SORRY SWEETCHEEKS

I can’t believe I was bitching about Junko being the mastermind for the third game when apparently audience members have had to sit through 53 Junkos

You couldn’t have changed it up??? Not even once??? Like, one led by Mukuro as a prologue idea or??? quietly denies the existence of the anime

Oh, speaking of which, I do like the excuse they came up with as to why the drv3 creators didn’t create new characters from the supposed other games why Tsumugi didn’t cosplay anyone outside the first two games - it’s for the class’s benefit, since they only knew those two casts, and y’know. She cares. about shock value

DON’T YOU PASS THE BUCK, GIRL

Ah, so that ‘staff’ you mentioned earlier...

why is this so funny to me

T-Tsumugi, do you have a tumultuous relationship with your managers or something

why are you airing out your dirty laundry on live television

is it all the incest plotlines

I feel like at this point it’s less ‘Tsumugi is trying to rub into the students how completely and absolutely they are boned’ and more ‘okay, it’s time to give a shout-out to everyone who put this production together! Perfect time to slap on that logo, guys!‘

oh my god that was supposed to be a trailer in-meta too alsd;kfj i’m losing it

AND AGAIN, THOSE TITLE CARDS - THEY ARE AMAZING.

SHE IS SHE’S TOTALLY ADVERTISING MID-SHOW

TSUMUGI STOP BEING A CORPORATE SELL-OUT

"NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR CRAPPY SHOEHORNED ADVERTISING!!!”

oh god oh no

who’s going to tell him -

MONOKUMA DON’T YOU DARE

i’m having an existential crisis alongside sweetcheeks ngl

there are so many layers

....

we need to go deeper

So, just to clarify, there are three layers right now:

There’s us, the players. In a sense, we could be considered ‘equal but different than the tier’, but we do still operate on a plane separate from the metafiction of Tsumugi’s ‘everyone in the world’.

There’s the ‘audience’, the outside world. This is the space that’s been breached at this point. And this... this is the level where the students are from, too - aka the reason I think we and the audience should exist as separate entities.

And there’s the domain of the Killing Game, a space created to play out this story, using real people - a place separated from reality... how? If Tsumugi is talking about a set, it could easily be the real world, which means they’ve been isolated somewhere. At the same time though, when they managed to reach the end of the escape tunnel and saw the outside world, they all started to choke and suffocate. So... could this be VR still? Or no? Can these existences known as Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective, Maki Harukawa, the Ultimate Assassin, Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Robot, K1-b0, the Ultimate Robot, and even Tsumugi Shirogane, the Ultimate Cosplayer, leave this space in any way, shape or form... or not at all? Is them suffocating ^ like that a sign that they literally cannot exist outside of this space?

She is literally throwing the same question back in Shuichi’s face ghdfkgh

NO I’M ON SHUICHI’S SIDE I COULDN’T HELP IT I HAD TO CHOOSE REAL PEOPLE

no!!! no!!!! NO!!!!

no seriously I still chose real people because I am stubborn

sweetcheeks et al. do not deserve any of this

Of course they brought out despair!Mikan for this. Of course.

I have to say, I do like these little character touches - the decisions that have been made as to which ‘cosplay’ says what. I mean, it’s supposed to also act as a way to throw our known and loved favourites in our face too, but having Celes comment on how boring ‘peace’ is? Having Ibuki smashing through the fourth wall to speak directly to the audience, Gundham remarking on their abnormal existence and Leon commenting on how cool the ‘aesthetic’ of the title card is? It’s such a nice touch. also horrifying. butalsonice

Oh we really are addressing the prologue now??? And - I’m assuming Tsumugi is referring to Hajime when she says ‘me’, but is there a chance she isn’t?

Just as I initially suspected, though - they really were normal when they got in. So how did they decide who got what personality/talent, or was that random? I mean, that might be the case - it was potentially hinted by the motive video switch of Chapter 2..

............. Huh.

But..... in what sense? Like the 16 talents were stored in those lights and they were ‘picked up’ by the most suited participant? How could you make sure there were no doubles? Or - and this is possible because of the vague language - did the talents build on what the student knew already? In which case, how would they know what the talents would end up being and plan the labs around them?

No, it would... have to be... the first one. Talents had its own selection in the flashback creating machine, though without verifying what the subcategories are it’s hard to confirm or deny anything... but I also can’t shake what Maki said at the beginning of the game? How it felt like their talents were given at random?

So... so they’re not only back where they started - completely isolated with everyone they’ve ever known and the world they knew completely out of reach (in this sense, dead/not actually existing are functionally the same), but they get a helping of a totally warranted existential crisis on top of that.

And... their bodies are real, so everyone else really is dead. No happy sdr2 ending. Well, unless I mental-gymnastics that to read ‘they have physical bodies to return to, but as manufactured personas it’s pointless.’

Me too, Sweetcheeks.

We can’t go 5 minutes without a WHAM line.

B-But they were kidnapped weren’t they -?!

fujisaki does not deserve this slander

Return of the hat!!!

..... is it bad that I miss his hat. I. I really liked his hat. I know that it was representative of the way he held back and used it to hide himself, but - but I liked his original portrait. And I liked the way it was incorporated into his sprites and all the movements he makes with it and without it, like it‘s a phantom limb. okayI’llstop

Why... are we not getting a name here? Was Shuichi Saihara a made-up name too?

oh -

oh no

D: A... Anything...

H-He’s.... a complete fanboy too.................... holy shit. cute but terrifying he looks like much more of a schoolboy super!fan than real Shuichi

S-So wait, it’s not even autosuggestion then - he asked for it? How - how does this work with the flashback lights? It can be targeted like that??? god I’m going to have so many questions after this is all over

I think this may be the death knell for his psyche oTL I certainly wouldn’t be able to take this if I was in his position.

LOOK I KNOW I GET EXCITED ABOUT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT TOO

but this is a bit much c-can you please keep that drool in -

asdfkjlsdf w h a t

was

was this omitted or something

I - I swear they were kidnapped they seemed a lot more freaked out?!

Even Rantaro, who seemed to know more than he let on at the time - ?!

I... I think I really need to go back and replay the prologue.

ME NEITHER K1-B0 I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING GASLIT

d-did

did you use it on me too

That... that I can believe. No matter who they were before - if they were consenting or not - it might not even matter, if they can’t return to how they were. In a sense, the Gopher Project story was practically preparing them for it - the idea that everything they knew and loved were gone, and would never come back. Oh... oh that’s bad....

TSUMUGI IS ACTUALLY TERRIFYING

SHUT UP NAEGI

wait why is seeing him say that worse than seeing Junko say her normal despair stuff

it’s the insincerity, probably...

YOU NERFED KAITO?!?!?!

YOU NERFED KAITO!!!!!!!

okay I take back what I said Maki you have my enthusiastic blessing to recklessly murder as necessary

RIP Tsumugi and all of her new depth

“I’m also the one that kept sneaking all of the death flags into his room while you were out training every night!”

Y O O O

YOU NERFED HER CHARACTER TOO?!?!?! YOU GOTTA LET THAT HAPPEN ORGANICALLY!!!

LMAO

Souda will never show this much awareness in his actual every day fictional life and that makes this 100% funnier

Everything has a writing credit.... every single thing? Every bit of development?

Even Kokichi’s coup and Kaito’s cooperation? And Kokichi manipulating Gonta? You just seemed so - so angry about that after the trial. Surely those, if nothing else...

At this point they’re just kicking a sad, beaten-down puppy. What more could you possibly do at this point - ?!

oH GOD I DON’T WANT TO SEE THIS

WHAT THE HELL WHO EVEN SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT

nNOOO

NO LET ME REMEMBER HIM THE WAY HE WAS

DON’T YOU CROSS THIS BRIGHT RED LINE SHIROGANE

NO

NO THIS IS ILLEGAL I’M CALLING THE POLICE HE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY MAD -

GHGHGGHGHGHGH

GHGHghghghghhh

ghghgh

sdkflj

n o  o o o oooo o o o o o o o

gggkghk

I-It’s not a lie! Even if it was manufactured, even if it was coded into them - their feelings were real to them! It might be by design, but - oh this sounds so hollow. It’s one thing to talk about ‘fate’ and ‘this was the work of a higher power’, but having it brought down on you in such a trivial way must be absolutely soul-crushing.

this is the saddest iteration of hangover!Shuichi that I have laid my eyes on in the entire game

nihilism.

tbh I never found Izuru that intimidating as a final villain in the last game - but here? Terrifying. Maybe it’s in contrast to Junko here, who has the overbearing destructive personality of a tornado, but the quiet emptiness and lack of a higher purpose, of absolute futility that he stands for here - that scares me a lot.   Maybe it’s just because it seems to bring the concept of DR’s despair to a place that I can personally understand?

I keep saying ‘this is terrifying!’ but I mean, to be fair... it... kind of is. as always, fantastic use of text DRV3!

also can someone please shut up the peanut gallery for five minutes

well damn Monokuma that one felt aimed right at me

It reminds me of what Komaeda would say about his own motivation: it was watching everyone struggle with adversity, or the ‘despair of the killing game’, with the end goal of them ‘reaching hope’ - of seeing them overcome and grow stronger for it, that drove him forward. From the outside that makes sense; seeing other people overcome struggles, even ones so terrible, give us the mental strength to overcome our own problems. But for someone on the inside looking out... how perverse would that feel, to think that your suffering is basically being used as inspiration!p0rn? Knowing that there were voyeurs getting a kick out of your struggle?

What happens to game pieces after the game board is closed and put away?

Do they go into stasis? Do they just... exist, outside of time? Frozen forever, until they’re taken out to be ‘played with’ again; left to rot?

If they ‘win’.... they have no future. There’s nothing for them to move forward to reach. A piece learning that they’re a piece, and knowing their dreams after their trials will always stay just out of reach... how can anyone move foward like that?

“love that reaction” OH SHUT UP LUDENBERGxLUVER37

Fight for yourself! They fought to get you this far - Kaito and Kokichi died to give you this chance, even if they are a ‘lie”!

But Shuichi has never been able to fight for himself, only for the others...

Tsumugi, after spending the last hour verbally beating them down and shredding his and everyone’s sense of self to shreds: wow lol what a weakling

Everything is terrible and yet her saying this still got a laugh out of me, damn it.

S-SHUICHI? SHUICHI?

I-IS HE EMOTIONALLY SHUTTING DOWN -

OH GOD

HIS

H-HIS POV - IS GONE -

And nothing but despair left...

Did - did we just lose Shuichi...?

SWEETCHEEKS!!! SWEETCHEEKS, NO!!!

SWEETCHEEKS I’M SO SORRY!!!!

[badwolf-in-the-impala]

~Whiskey Lullaby~

~Chapter 10~

Image Credit: Me. Pictures not mine obviously, but the collage is.

Rating: Mature/18+

Warnings: Alcohol and drug abuse, violence, suggested sexual/physical abuse, kidnapping, sexual content, angst.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, emotions....feelz. Nothing to major in this chapter.

A/N: Huge shout out to @jacksonroth for constantly kicking me in the ass to keep working on this story and lending a hand when I need a little extra help. You’re the best, Babe! Also, sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted! More updates to come soon though!

---------------------------------------------------------

“Hey! Whoa, whoa.” Gemma stopped Tawni as she stormed back into the lobby, tears streaming down her face. Gemma raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Nothin’, Gem.” Tawni lied, pushing Gemma’s hands away. Gemma was prepared to let it go, seeing as she was faced with her Uncle’s life in the balance; that is, until she saw Teagan walk back inside, a wicked bruise blossoming on her cheek.

“Nothin’, my ass, Telford.” Gemma stated firmly, hooking a hand around Tawni’s arm and pulling her back to stand in front of her as she stopped Teagan. “Now, what the fuck is goin’ on with you two?”

She looked between the two girls, though neither of them spoke up nor even looked at each other.

“You two had better start talkin’.” Gemma said, crossing her arms and popping a hip out to one side.

“I’ve nothing to say to her.” Tawni said, breezing past Gemma, who was left to hold Teagan back as she screamed after her, “Yeah?! Well, same to you, bitch!”

“Hey!” Gemma called over her, gripping her arm tight and pulling her down the hallway into an empty room. “I wanna know what exactly is going on with you two, and I want to know now. What changed, that you two went from being best friends to now hatin’ each other?”

“It’s nothing, Gem. We used to fight back in the day too.” Teagan said.

“Bullshit, not like this. You’ve never called her a bitch and meant it. That’s a term of endearment to us, hunny.” Gemma shot back. “I’m not going to ask you again, Teagan. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Gemma, nothing is going on!

“Yeah? And you’re a shit liar, Teagan.” Gemma said sternly as she pointed at a chair. “Sit.”

Teagan did so begrudgingly, letting out a sigh as she reached up to prod gently at her left cheek; wincing. Gemma rolled her eyes and yanked open on of the cabinets, pulling out an ice pack and breaking the middle bit before pressing it forcefully to Teagan’s cheek. Leaning back against the counter behind her, Gemma crossed her arms over her chest and waited impatiently for an explanation. Teagan finally fessing up when she realized Gemma wasn’t going anywhere.

“Tawni apparently witnessed my freakout...she thinks I’m sleeping with Chibs.” Teagan murmured softly, her gaze fixed to the floor and her brows furrowed tightly. Gemma leaned forward, opening her mouth as she was about to speak but paused, giving Teagan a confused look.

“Wait...you’re not sleeping together?” She questioned, watching in stunned silence as Teagan shook her head ‘no’. “You tell her that?” Gemma added, referring to Tawni as she nodded her head towards the closed door beside her.

“Yeah. Guessing she didn’t buy it.” Teagan replied sarcastically as she gestured to the rapidly darkening bruise on her cheek.

“Well, give her some time to cool off. I’ll talk to her..” Gemma sighed as she reached for the door. “But in the meantime, let’s go find Tara...make sure little miss ‘Mayweather’ out there didn’t do anymore damage to that head of yours.”

~

“Jesus, how hard did she hit you?” Tara questioned as she examined Teagan’s cheek closely before pulling the pen light from her pocket and performing the same tests she had done earlier, returning it to her pocket once she was satisfied, and retrieved a fresh ice pack.

“Hard enough that I’m pretty positive whatever was left of my soul got ejected from my body.” Teagan sneered as Tara pressed the ice pack back to her cheek, carefully.

“Yeah, well, you can worry about finding that later.” Gemma stated as she gestured to Jax who was approaching them from down the hall. “Looks like we got more important matters at the moment.”

“Hey, Doctor said they just wheeled Chibs out of recovery and into a room finally--” Jax paused as he looked down at Teagan, noting the visible bruise that peaked out from behind the ice pack. “The hell happened to you?” 

“Tawni’s fist.” Both Gemma and Tara replied in unison as the three of them stared down at Teagan, causing her to sink lower into her chair, silently wishing she was invisible right about now.

“Oh.” Jax replied casually, not seeming surprised in the least. “She figure out you’re bangin’ her Uncle?”

“We’re not sleeping together! Jesus Christ, what it is with you people?!” Teagan snapped as she got to her feet and stormed off down the hall, Tara chasing her down. Jax flinched as Gemma’s hand connected with the back of his head. Hard.

“The hell did I do?!”

“Not really a good time.” Gemma huffed before taking off down the hall herself. Jax sighed and shook his head as he caught the familiar glimpse of salt and peppered curly hair step out of the elevator.

“Oh, shit.” Jax muttered before taking off after his mother.

~

Tawni sat by Chibs’ bed as he still remained unconscious, a bandage wrapped around his head. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she sat in silence, her lips lifting in a small smile as she inhaled the scent that clung to the hoodie she was wearing. When the door opened, Tawni sighed and turned, ready to tell off Gemma, but stopped at stared at the curly haired woman that walked in.

“Fi.” Tawni breathed. It took her a minute for the flashbacks and memories from her early childhood in Ireland to fade before she hopped to her feet and glanced around out the door before she shut it once more and locked it. “Fi, what are you doing here? Jimmy-”

“Jimmy doesn’ know I’m here. Not yet at least.” Fiona said, going to Tawni and cupping her face. She gave a small smile and added, “Ye look more and more like y’er Ma every time I see you.”

Tawni smiled and gave a soft giggle. “Everyone here says I’m all Chibs’. They’re sure the whole niece thing is a cover up.” She said. Fiona chuckled and kissed her cheek.

“Ah. Well. Y’er Ma was his sister after all.” Both women let out a chuckle as they took their seats. “How is he?”

“Stable, they said.” Tawni replied with a sigh. She chewed her lip as her anxiety spiked with the thought of Teagan possibly making her way over and they’d both be stuck in a rather awkward situation. Before Fiona could say anything else, Tawni made her decision and stood. “Um, I’ll give you a minute. Uh, Tara Knowles is one of the doctors here. She’s Jax’s old lady. She might be in to check up on him.”

“Alrigh’, love. Thanks.” Fiona said with a smile, scooting a little closer to the bed and taking his hand. Tawni left quickly and rounded the corner a little too fast when she ran into Gemma.

“Jesus!” Tawni jumped and sighed, rubbing her fingers over her forehead. “Gemma, you need a goddamn bell around your neck.”

“Yeah? And you need some boxing gloves, apparently.” Gemma said, giving her a look. Tawni’s face dropped and she narrowed her eyes at Gemma.

“It’s an internal matter. I can handle it.” Tawni said, almost mimicking the lines she’d heard for years when she moved to Charming. Tawni started down the hall, moving past Gemma, but Gemma wasn’t having any of it.

“Oh, yeah. You’re handling it real well. Did you even see the size of the bruise you left on Teagan’s face?” Gemma asked, matching Tawni’s quick pace as they maneuvered through the halls.

“She’ll be fine...The bitch…” Tawni muttered. Gemma closed her eyes and sighed, muttering to herself about having to deal with this a second time, then grabbed Tawni’s arm, hauling her into the chapel that was, thankfully, empty.

“Alright. I’ve had just about enough of this bullshit, Tawn.” Gemma said. Tawni stared at the cross above the altar and had a split second desire to punch out Gemma as well, but she decided against it and turned her back on the cross, crossing her arms as she faced Mama Gemma. “They aren’t sleeping together, Tawni.”

Tawni snorted and rolled her eyes. “Oh, fer fuck’s sake...Gemma, if ye’re goin’ ta stick up for tha’ harlot, I don’ wanna hear it!” Tawni shouted, her accent slipping out along with her anger. “ ‘N I’m surprised y’er keepin’ up with her lies!”

“They aren’t lies, sweetheart. And I’m the last person who would lie to you, you know that.” Gemma said, a little offended at the insinuation. Tawni glowered at her for a moment before turning away from her.

“If ye heard it from Teagan, they’re lies. I saw how she flipped out an’ punched Tig when-” Tawni cleared her throat and blinked a few times before she continued, “When the van blew up. She wouldn’ be tha’ upset if she wasn’ involved with him.”

Gemma sighed and slowly stepped closer to her, the hollow sound of her heels filling the silence. She took Tawni’s shoulders and turned her around.

“Tawn. I thought the same thing. But she didn't seem like she was lying.” Gemma said in a soft voice, trying to calm the wild Irish girl down. She gave a small chuckle and said, “Not as if she could lie, with the concussion and having been punched by her best friend.”

“Well...she deserved it.” Tawni said, pulling away from Gemma’s grasp. “If they aren’t sleepin’ together, there’s somethin’ goin’ on. I know Teagan. She wouldn’ get involved with a member again.”

Gemma shook her head, not entirely ready to start down that path with her, at least not right now.

 “Tawni, let me find Jax or someone to take you home, okay? I’ll call you if we hear anything more about Chibs.” She said. Tawni didn't want to leave her uncle, but with Fiona here with Teagan, that was trouble enough. There was no telling whether or not Jimmy really didn't know if she was here or not, and that was the one thing Chibs made her promise when they moved; Stay away from Jimmy O’Phelan.

“Juice brought me. I think he’s still here. I can catch a ride home with him.” Tawni said, letting the barest tone of defeat into her voice; accent falling away. Gemma smiled and pulled her into a brief hug and kissed her cheek.

“Go on, baby. I’ll check in on you later.” Gemma said. Tawni nodded and sighed, turning to the crucifix and marking herself with the cross before she walked out. Gemma shook her head, staring up at the cross and said, “We’re about to have the Boondock trilogy in this bitch.”

Gemma stared at the cross for a moment longer before going to the altar and lighting two of the candles before walking out.

~

Teagan had found an empty waiting room on the next floor and curled up in one of the chairs, waving off any nurse or doctor who tried to ask if she was okay. She didn't even realize she had fallen asleep, until a rough shake of her shoulder woke her. Teagan groaned and shoved the hand away, opening her eyes to tell off the umpteenth nurse/doctor, when she saw it was Tig. She was still just as pissed and irritated, but she didn't have the strength to fight with him this time.

“Leave me alone, Alex.” Teagan hissed. Tig simply rolled his eyes; Teagan only ever used his real name when she was mad at him and his full name when she was absolutely irate.

“I heard about what happened with you and Tawn. I can’t make sure my baby sister is okay?” Tig asked, sitting down in the chair next to her.

“I’m not a baby, Tig. So fuck off.” Teagan snapped. “Besides, since when did you decide to actually start acting like my brother, instead of my fucking parole officer?”

“Look, Teage, I know I haven’t exactly been the most supportive of your decisions recently...” Tig stated. “And I most definitely haven’t been the best brother since you got back into town.”

“No fucking shit.” Teagan muttered, rolling her eyes before scrubbing a hand over her face, wincing as it connected with the bruise on her cheek.

“I’m tryin’ to apologize here, Rave.” Tig frowned as he watched his sister closely. “And you know well as I do, that’s not something I do.”

“I know.” Teagan sighed softly, her gaze fixed on her hands as she fidgeted with the ring on her middle right finger. “You don’t have too, Tig...really. I get it.” She sighed. “I haven’t exactly spent my time making good life choices.”

“While I’m not goin’ to disagree with you…” Tig trailed off for a moment. “Not all your choices have been terrible lately...well, one of them at least.” He smirked a little, chuckling, as Teagan rolled her eyes at him dramatically.

“You’re an adult, Teagan. I can’t exactly tell you what you can and can’t do anymore...not that you ever listened to me anyway. But, after today...after the explosion.” Tig shook his head at the memory. “Look, what I’m tryin’ to say is after what happened, I know you’re not just fuckin’ around with this whole ‘Chibs’ situation.” Tig sighed. “And if being with him makes you happy, or a better person, or whatever in the hell relationships are supposed to do; then I’ll try and back off...maybe even be a little more supportive.”

“Jesus Christ, how hard did I fucking punch you?” Teagan snorted in disbelief as she waited for him to start laughing or admit he was just fucking with her; but he simply stayed silent. Blue eyes fixed to hers patiently as he waited for some kind of response.

“Teage?” Tig questioned carefully after about a solid minute of silence between them had passed. Not entirely sure how to react as he watched his little sister dissolve into tears, burying her face in her hands as she let out a quiet sob. 

“Shit…” He muttered under his breath as he stood, kneeling in front of Teagan as he pulled her into a tight hug. Tig sat there with her for a while, letting his little sister cry. He hadn’t seen her like this since they were kids and he was ready to do anything to help her this time. Finally, Teagan pulled away from him, sniffling, as she wiped her face.

“I-I think I’m gonna go check on Chibs.” She said, clearing her throat. “I haven’t seen him yet...I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Yeah, babe. Don’t worry.” Tig said, helping her stand. “But we should make sure Rocky Jr. isn’t around. No need to go TKO over him.” Teagan rolled her eyes, but let the comment go. She nodded and Tig walked with her as they went to the elevator to find Chibs’ room.

--------------------------------------------------

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[waywardrose13]

Soul Survivor

Rose’s Masterlist

Pairings: Past Dean x Reader, Demon!Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Angst, Demon!Dean, blood, violence, alcoholism, language, depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts, character death, Dean is a dick to the reader, MOC!Dean, mentions of self harm

Word count: 5247 (longest fic ever written!)

Summary: Sam finally tracks down Dean and captures him, ready to start treatments to cure him and make him human again. Y/N struggles with depression, alcoholism and the loss of the love of her life. But when Sam calls telling her he has found Dean and he’s a demon, Y/N drops everything to rush to the bunker and help cure her boyfriend. But the process hits a snag, and soon Sam and Y/N find themselves not only fighting some one they love, but fighting for their life.

A/N- Written for @luci-in-trenchcoats‘s 10k follower challenge. Congrats! I chose to rewrite season 10 episode 3 “Soul Survivor.” There is some actual dialogue from the episode so I give credit to the writers of SPN for that. Also written for @spnangstbingo for my “Free Space” square. Hope y’all enjoy:)

My feet couldn’t have carried me any faster. I ran with a speed I didn’t know I had. I rounded the corners of the hallways, panting as my lungs burned for oxygen. My arms pumped as my legs took long strides, carrying me faster and faster.

 I was running for my life from the man I loved the most. Running from the monster who wanted to rip my heart from my chest.

***Three days earlier***

Another bar in another town somewhere in the midwest.

My life had become a blur of dump motels and dive bars, trying desperately to numb myself enough to keep myself from slitting my wrists. The two things I struggled with most had come rushing back at full force after Dean died and then suddenly went missing. Before I met him, it was alcohol and a razor that I found solace in at the end of the day. But with him, he was my solace. The one thing keeping me from turning back to a bottle or a razor. He was the only one who was able to keep me from drowning, the only thing able to hold my head above the water permanently. I loved him, and he was ripped away from me so suddenly, the water rose rapidly, submerging me before I knew what was happening.

 I sat down at the bar, the pretty blonde working it sauntering over to me with a kind smile on her face.

“What can I get ya?” She asked. She smiled widely at me, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Uhm… A couple shots of tequila,” I said. “And keep ‘em coming.”

 She nodded, turning to get what I asked as I looked behind me, scanning the patrons of the bar. It was a long shot, but he may be here. Maybe.

 Sam had texted about a week ago, telling me he was alive. He hadn’t told me much else, the message was incredibly vague, but it sparked hope within me. A hope that was quickly disintegrated a few hours later.

“Here you go,” The bartender said, setting down the shots. I nodded my thanks and downed one before picking up the next. She eyed me carefully, raising a brow. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m great,” I said.

“You don’t seem like it,” She said, wiping down the bar a bit. “Wanna talk about it?”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Why not confide in someone? “My boyfriend took off a few months ago. On top of that, I realized I’m a fucking alcoholic. So now, my boyfriend’s brother and I are trying to find him and there hasn’t been any luck. I thought maybe he’d passed through here but… I dunno.”

“A boyfriend? That mean I don’t have a chance?” She asked. I shrugged, downing the next shot.

“I dunno. I’ve been surprising myself lately,” I said, giving her a wink. She giggled, blushing a bit.

“Well, you got a picture of your boyfriend?” She asked. I nodded, tapping the glass as I pulled out my wallet with my other hand. She poured me three more shots and I took out a picture of Dean and me. It was on our one year anniversary. I was smiling up at him, my hand on his chest as he looked at the camera, his teeth gleaming in the afternoon sun as he smiled widely. We had gone out to a field behind the bunker. One full of wildflowers and bumblebees. The sun would shine orange in the late afternoon, and it was my favorite place to be. It had turned into our spot soon after.

I smiled as I looked at it, and then handed it to her. She paled as she took hold of it.

“I… I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. I’m sorry… I wouldn’t have been with him if I had known… He was in here about a week ago with this other guy. We had some fun together… I’m bisexual.” She handed it back to me, guilt in her eyes.

“Awesome,” I muttered.

“I’m so sorry,” She said.

“It’s not your fault,” I said. “The asshole didn’t tell you. Anyway, I think I’m going to head back to my motel. Thanks for the drinks.” I reached to get a few bucks from my wallet but she put a hand on mine.

“Don’t. It’s on the house. It’s the least I could do,” She said. I nodded, giving her a small smile before taking my leave.

The douchebag. My anger bubbled in my chest and I found myself clenching my fists. I got into my car, slamming my hands down onto the wheel in frustration. A glimmer caught my eye from the floor of the passenger side, the moonlight shining down through the window and reflecting off a bottle of whisky.

I picked it up, inspecting it, before unscrewing the cap and taking a long drink. I welcomed the burn in brought, its warmth quickly spreading in my chest. On top of the shots, my brain began to fuzz up.

I nearly finished the bottle before I fell asleep on the bench car seat, the whisky knocking me out nicely. And for the first time in a long time, I had a dreamless sleep.

***

 “Hello?” I rasped, rubbing my sore temples the next morning. I had woken up to my phone ringing. The sunlight streamed through the windows of my car, shining an uncomfortable glare into my eyes and I had to squint to see.

 “Y/N?” Sam asked. He sounded winded, as though he had just worked out.

 “Yep,” I muttered. “What’s up?”

 “I… I found him,” He told me. I bolted upright, instantly regretting it, the world spinning at the sudden movement.

“You what?” I breathed.

 “I found him, Y/N,” Sam said. “But he’s a demon. After he died, the mark brought him back, just slightly different.”

 “At least I know why he slept with the bartender,” I said. “Where are you?” I twisted around, starting my car and peeling out of the parking lot I had decided to crash in.

 “About to head back to the bunker,” Sam answered hesitantly. “But Y/N, I really don’t think you-”

“Dammit, Sam. Don’t you dare tell me not to come. You found Dean. I’m helping you bring him back,” I growled into the phone. Sam sighed and I could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

 “Okay fine,” He said. “He isn’t the same, Y/N.”

“I know,” I murmured. “But my Dean is in there somewhere. And I’m going to help bring him back.”

***

The steps of the bunker echoed loudly as I walked down them, my bag slung over my shoulder and sporting a nasty headache. My drinking had picked up times ten since Dean had gone missing. It was the only thing that helped me sleep at night and helped fight my demons enough to keep myself from slitting my wrists.

“Y/N?” A voice called. I dropped my bag onto the table in the library, watching as Sam walked into the room. An empathetic smile crossed his face and he brought me into a hug.

“Hey, tiny,” I muttered. I looked up at him. “Where is he?”

“Look Y/N,” Sam began. “I’m warning you now. He’s completely different. You can’t take anything he says into account. He’s evil. Bloodthirsty.”

“We’ve all been there at some point, right?” I asked, smirking lightly. He nodded.

“Right,” He said quietly. He motioned with his head to follow him, and it was then that I noticed the small cooler in his hand. I swallowed thickly, knowing what was going to happen. Truth was, I was afraid to face him. If he was as bad as Sam said he was, maybe I didn’t want to see him.

He led me through the bunker and to the dungeon. I stayed behind as he moved the bookshelves, trying to mentally prepare myself for what was to come. Chills ran down my spine as I heard his voice. It was deeper than usual, more rough and gravely.

“Really?” He asked. I peeked through a gap in the shelves, watching as he raised a brow at his brother.

He even looked different. His hair was longer, fuller on top and a bit fluffier than his usual spiky hairstyle. His demeanor had changed from a hunter’s defensive to a demon’s relaxed, taunting nature. He sported the maroon shirt I found attractive on him once upon a time, but now I found it intimidating, along with his once lively emerald eyes, which now held a more dark gleam to them.

Sam set the cooler down on the table outside the devil’s trap, glancing over his shoulder at his brother. “For whatever it’s worth,” He said. “I got your blood type.”

“Sam, I know you’re gonna try and fix me,” Dean said. “But did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to be fixed? Just let me go live my life, I won’t bother you. What do you care?”

Sam paused for a moment. “What do I care?” He asked, turning to Dean. He took a deep breath before splashing some holy water inside the trap, uttering a few words in latin as Dean watched him, a displeased look on his face.

“You think I’m just going to sit here like Crowley, getting all weepy while you shoot me up?” The demon asked. Sam ignored him, continuing the chant. “Well, screw that. I don’t want this.” Sam walked back over to the table, setting down the flask.

“Yeah, I pretty much figured that out,” He said.

Dean smirked. “You don’t even know if this is gonna work, do you? You know, I got a hell of a lot more running through me than just demon juice.” Sam held up a syringe, expecting it for a moment.

“Mark of Cain,” He said. “Got it.”

Taking a deep breath, you decided to get it over with. You stepped out of the shadows and into the dungeon, Dean’s eyes looking over to you. He laughed, scoffing.

“Wow. Look what the cat dragged in. The alcoholic bitch who I kept around way too long,” Dean spit. “You look like hell.”

I ignored him, eyeing him carefully as I walked over to the table, leaning against it. “You know,” Dean began. “I can smell the whisky and desperation on you from here. You really were always pathetic. With all your whining and complaining and blah, blah, blah. God, you know how many times I wished you would just put a bullet into your brain already? You wanted to anyway. Just do us all a favor and do it.”

“That’s enough, Dean,” Sam said. Dean laughed, shaking his head.

“Oh but I’m just getting started. See, Y/N here was my biggest mistake. The only reason I had interest in her in the first place was because she was a virgin. I wanted to see if I could get with her before Sam could.”

“Shut up, Dean.”

“After taking her virginity, I decided I couldn’t just let any guy have her. Once I had a taste of her cunt, I couldn’t give her up. You do know that’s the only reason I stayed with you, right?” Dean asked.

“Can it, Dean!” Sam growled.

“Stop it, Sam! I just want her to know how unlovable she is. The only reason a guy would want her is for her ass. She’s crazier than anyone I’ve ever met. No one wants to deal with that shit.”

“Oh please, like you’re such a joy to be around, Dean,” I snapped. His eyes widened, a smile flashing across his face.

“It speaks!”

“That’s it. Buckle up, Dean.”

 “Sammy,” Dean said as Sam made his way over to him. “You know I hate shots.” He looked up at him, feigning innocence.

I sighed, giving him a glare. “We hate demons.”

Sam nodded, walking into the trap. Dean’s eyes flashed black, letting out an inhuman growl. I jumped, Sam splashing holy water into his face before bringing the needle down into his arm, injecting him with the blood.

Sam backed away from his brother, holding his hands up. “Look, we’ve got a whole lot more of these to go. You could make it a lot easier on yourself.”

Dean looked like he was about to say something, but his face quickly twisted into one of pain. He jerked in his bindings, brows furrowing. He let out a pained growl, throwing his head back as he roared in agony. His roars turned into grunts as he calmed down a bit, snarling at Sam and me.

I backed out of the room, not wanting to watch it anymore. Dean laughed weakly, watching as I left.

“You always were weak, Y/N.” I spun on my heel and stalked out of the room, rushing to Dean and my old room.

I stopped in my tracks as I entered the room. It looked the same, but it felt different. There was a weight as I stepped inside, pressing on my heart. The room’s demeanor had changed from a room where we would tell our darkest secrets and make love to each other, to distant memories of what once was, fueling the darkness inside my head.

“Y/N?” Sam asked. I turned around, noticing his worry etched face. “It’s not him. Not really.”

“I know. But, it’s his voice. His face. I… I hate seeing him that way. It almost makes me want to admit you were right,” I said. Sam chuckled a bit, but it faded quickly.

“We’ll cure him, Y/N.”

“How do you know it will work though?” I asked. “Is he supposed to be in that much pain?”

“I don’t know,” He muttered. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I just hoped we weren’t killing him. I don’t think I’d be able to watch him die again.

***

A few hours and injections later, Dean hasn’t changed. Well, says Sam. I haven’t gone back into the dungeon yet, but from what Sam says, Dean is still acting like a grade A asshole.

The water has swirled into my lungs now. Breathing has become hard to do. I know I need to keep fighting, that Dean can be cured and he will be better again. That I can heal again. That we can be whole again. But a piece of me still wants to give up.

Two and a half beers in and I still haven’t felt any effect. Sam had to run out and get more blood, and there were clear instructions not to go into the dungeon.

Of course I didn’t listen.

The bunker was eerily quiet, my footsteps echoing off the concrete, tiled walls. I could feel my heart crashing against my chest as I got closer to the dungeon. I swallowed thickly, stopping outside the door.

“I know you’re out there, kitten,” Dean called. I flinched at the sudden break in silence, the fear weaving its way back into my heart. I stepped through the doorway, looking up at him. He smirked at me, his ivory teeth biting down onto his bottom lip as his eyes raked over my frame. I was aware of how horrible I looked; the dark circles under my eyes, the hollowed cheeks, the lost weight. But he still stared at me as though I was a piece of meat.

“You’re awfully quiet, kitten,” Dean purred. “How about you get me out of these chains and I can fix that.”

“I don’t think so,” I said. He jut out his bottom lip, pouting mockingly.

“Oh, are your feelings hurt from what I said earlier?” He asked. He smiled wickedly, touching his tongue to the roof of his mouth, sending a spark down to my belly. Damn him.

I let out a quick breath, my lip twitching. “You know, I don’t know why I was so afraid to come in here,” I said. “You’re all locked up, chained. Like a dog on a leash.”

“Watch it, girlie,” He said darkly.

I laughed, gesturing around the dungeon. “I mean, look at you, Dean. You’re such a shitty demon, you got yourself caught and thrown into your own dungeon. If that’s not pathetic, I don’t know what is.” I stepped up to the edge of the trap, squatting down until I was eye level with him. I raised my brows, giving him an innocent expression. “Can you break out of those chains?” One of his fingers twitched, his eyes flashing black. “No? Didn’t think so. Tell me, Dean. Which one of us is really the weak one?”

He let out a roar, his black eyes slightly intimidating. He bared his teeth, shaking with anger. “You’ll be the first one to die, Y/N. I’ll rip your beating heart from your chest and feed it to you!”

“Good luck with that, Dean,” I said, standing up. “Because how I see it, I’m not the one bound to a chair.” I turned around, laughing as I heard him scream profanities at me.

Dean as a demon was scary, but me pissed off could be even scarier.

***

Sam had come back not long after with some more blood. I hadn’t told him about my trip to the dungeon, nor did I plan on telling him. I didn’t need Sam telling me what I can and cannot do.

I followed him into the dungeon again, ready to give Dean his next injection. But when we stepped up to the doorway, Dean was unconscious, head against his chest.

We rushed inside. I tossed the blood onto the table as Sam slapped Dean across the face, something I couldn’t help but giggle at.

“Hey! Hey!” Sam said, shaking his shoulders. “Dean! Come on! Come back. Come back to me.”

“No,” Dean said weakly. I crouched down beside him, grabbing his hair lightly and holding his head upright.

“Hey, you okay?” I asked.

“If you consider drowning in your own sweat as your blood boils ‘okay’,” He said. He coughed a few times, his head rolling to the side as he blinked a few times.

“Look, I can’t stop doing this,” Sam said.

“Sure you can,” Dean told him. “You just stop. There’s no point in trying to bring your brother back now. Or your boyfriend-” He shot a glance at me.

“Oh, I will bring him back,” Sam said, nostrils flaring in anger.

“You know, in fact, your ‘guilt ridden, weight of the world bro’ has been gone for some time now,” Dean said. “But I’m loving the new model. Lean, mean, Dean.”

“Oh I bet you are,” I murmured.

“What was that, kitten?” Dean snapped, turning to me. “You got something to share with the class?”

“Oh, other than you’re an asshole? Nope, nothing.” I smiled smugly at him as he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Are you drunk?” He asked.

“Uhm… Generally, yeah,” I said.

“Hm. You wonder why I got so far away from you as possible? I couldn’t take you anymore. You’re so damn annoying. I chose random skanks instead of you. And let’s face it, most of them were not only way better looking than you, but they were much more fun to fuck. Just the thought of you having your heartbroken made my day. But you know, maybe I was just tired of babysitting you and my baby brother. Maybe… I was tired of pulling your lame-asses from the fire.”

“This isn’t my brother talking,” Sam said, shaking his head.

“You never had a brother!” Dean responded. “Just an excuse for not manning up. But guess what? I quit.”

“No,” Sam said. “No you don’t. You don’t get to quit. We don’t get to quit in this family. This family is all we have ever had!”

“Well, then we got nothin’.” Dean smiled up at his younger brother.

Sam thought for a moment. “Would you say that to dad? To Dominic?”

You winced at your brother’s name. He was the only person other than the brothers you had up until he died. He was your rock, your best friend, your hunting partner. But then he died, and your world came crashing down around you. Your heart ached at the mere mention of Dominic, and you didn’t want to hear what Dean had to say about him.

“Dad?” Dean asked. “Oh, that’s a prize. Here’s a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle.” He looked over at me then, smirking. “And Dominic? Let’s just say he was such a piss poor excuse of a hunter, he got himself killed on a salt and burn. He probably tried to get himself killed so he could finally get away from you.”

I stalked over to the table, picking up a syringe. “Oh. Is this you manning up?”

“No. This is me just yanking your lame ass out of the fire,” I said before stabbing the needle into his neck, injecting the blood into his veins. “You’re welcome.”

I chucked the syringe onto the floor, the clatter echoing off the concrete as I made my way out into the hallway. Sam followed close behind, shutting the door behind him.

“Y/N,” Sam said. I stopped and turned, not looking him in the eye. “It’s not him.”

“You keep saying that Sam yet I can’t help but feel there is some truth to what he’s saying,” I told him. “I just… I need a nap. Or three bottles of whisky. Or both.”

I headed off to my room, rubbing my temple as I went.

***

I woke to someone shaking me awake, my name being said over and over. My eyes opened to find a very distraught Sam above me.

“He got out,” He said when I finally came to.

“He what?” I asked, sitting up. “How did that happen?”

“I don’t know, but we need to move.” He grasped my hand, pulling me out of bed and into the hallway. We dashed down the corridor, looking behind us every once in a while. If Dean was out, that meant he wanted blood. Our blood specifically.

It was quiet. The only sound to be heard was our breathing and my heartbeat in my ears. We took light footsteps as we moved, peeking around corners before moving into the hallway.

Sam went into the war room, opening a drawer and pulling out a key ring. I looked around, but there was no sign of Dean.

I jumped at the sound of a clatter off in the distance. Sam and I shared a glance before turning back into the hallway.

 “Come on, Sammy!” We heard. It was distant, but with the echo in the bunker, we couldn’t make out exactly where it was coming from. “Don’t you want to hang out with your big brother? Spend a little quality time?”

Sam grabbed my hand to rush me along, pulling me into the control room.

“What are we doing in here?” I whispered. Sam went over to the panel and glanced over it.

“Locking the bunker down.” He pulled the switch down, the bunker suddenly turning red, sirens blaring. He pulled me out of the control room and into another hallway.

“Smart, Sam,” We heard. “Locking the place down. Doors won’t open. I get it. But here’s the thing. I don’t wanna leave! Not till I find you and Y/N.”

I glanced up at Sam, fear etched across my face.

“Sammy?” He called again. “You’re just making this worse for yourself, man. Oh and uh, you can blame yourself for me getting loose. All that blood you pumped into me to make me human well, the less demon I was, the less the cuffs worked. As for the devil’s trap, I walked right over it.”

“Well shit,” I muttered.

The sound of footsteps made my head jerk up. Sam brought a finger to his lips, his large frame moving in front of me. Suddenly, the lights turned back on, and I realized that’s exactly what Sam wanted. He moved quickly, closing the control room’s door and locking it.

“That’s your big move?” Dean asked.

“Listen to me, Dean!” Sam said. “We were getting close! I know you’re still in there somewhere. Just let me finish the treatments.”

It was silent. Sam looked back at me, slight panic flashing in his eyes.

“Dean?” I called.

A thud sounded from inside the room, the door shaking. Sam moved back, holding the demon knife out in front of him. Wood began splintering away from the door as Dean began to smash at it with the hammer in his hand.

“You act like I wanna be cured,” He said, smashing the hammer into the door again and again. The hole became bigger, and I could clearly see his face now. “Personally, I like the disease.”

“Dean! Stop that!” Sam said. “Look, I don’t want to use this blade on you.”

“Oh,” Dean tsked, smashing into the wood again. “That sucks for you, doesn’t it? Because you really mean that.” He laughed, more wood flying into you and Sam.

“If you come out of that room, I won’t have a choice!”

“Sure you will!” Dean said. “And I know which one you’ll make. Isn’t that right, Sammy. But see, here’s the thing-” He brought the hammer back up, swinging it into the door- “I’m lucky. Oh hell, I’m blessed. Because I’ve got enough demon in me that killing you and Y/N, ain’t no choice at all.”

Sam turned to me, frantic. “Split up. Go! Now!” He dashed off down one hallway. I hesitated for a moment before turning and sprinting off the other way.

        ***Present***

My feet couldn’t have carried me any faster. I ran with a speed I didn’t know I had. I rounded the corners of the hallways, panting as my lungs burned for oxygen. My arms pumped as my legs took long strides, carrying me faster and faster.

I was running for my life from the man I loved the most. Running from the monster who wanted to rip my heart from my chest. I rushed into my room and into my closet, grabbing the baseball bat I kept in there and running back out into the hall, feeling somewhat better with a weapon. All my guns were in my duffel in the library and God only knew where Sam was with that damn knife. The bat would have to do.

“Sammy?” I heard. I slowed down, coming to a stop to catch my breath. My lungs screamed for air, and I gladly took deep gulps of it, trying to ease the burn inside my chest. I took a deep breath before turning the corner, crashing into a solid chest.

“Hiya, kitten,” Dean cooed. He smiled down at me, gripping the tops of my arms tightly.    

“Dean,” I said, pushing against him. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Don’t I?” He asked. “I mean, I did promise you, after all.” His smile faded into a deadly sneer, his fist cracking against my nose with lightning speed. My head snapped back, pain flaring across my face. I brought the bat up, swinging it to bash into Dean’s head. But he was faster. He was always faster.

He grabbed it, twisting it out of my arm and throwing it behind him. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I brought my fist up, landing it square in the face before bringing my knee into his groin.

“You bitch,” He groaned. I turned to run but he gripped my hair tightly in his hand, yanking me back against his chest. I elbowed him in the ribs, breaking free from his grasp. He sweeps his leg out, knocking my feet out from underneath me, causing me to tumble to the ground. “You know, it’s kind of ironic.”

I got up again, only from him to reach out and grab my throat, slamming me hard against the wall. He squeezed his hand, cutting off my air supply. “You were all badass earlier. But I should have known you’re all mouth and no bite.”

“Y/N!” Sam said as he rounded the hall. “Dean, let her go!”

With a flick of his wrist, Dean sent Sam flying into a room, the door closing with barely a lift of his finger. “Don’t worry, Sammy. I’ll deal with you next.”

I brought my knee up again, bashing it into his already sore area. His grip loosened enough for me to take some gasping breaths and bring my feet up, kicking him away from me. I landed on the ground, and I began to scramble away from him, the fear inside me so crippling, i found it hard to see straight.

His foot came crashing down on my leg, a sickening snap filling the air. I screamed in agony, a fire ball of pain shooting from my leg up to my spine. A few tears slipped down my cheeks, and I felt his hands grip my shoulders before he flipped me over onto my back.

“I never loved you,” He hissed in my ear as he gripped my hair, tugging my head up. “You were an easy lay. That’s all.”

“Fuck. You.” I spit. His fist crashing into my face.

“Manners,” He said.

“Fuck. You.” This time, I spit some blood into his face. He punched me again, and again, and again. Over and over until my face was bloody and my head was fuzzy.

“I didn’t have to do this, Y/N,” He said, standing up. I rolled over, crying out as the movement jarred my leg. I pulled my way along the floor, biting my lip from screaming in agony. I heard the sound of the bat being picked up from the floor. “You could have just let me be. But you have a habit of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong and… Here we are.”

He brought the bat down onto my back, my spine making a loud crack. I screamed as the pain ripped through my body, tears falling onto the concrete and mixing with my blood.

“But even if you didn’t,” He said, bringing it down again.

“Please, Dean!” I cried. “Stop!”

“I would still want to see you bleed,” He said. He straddled me, his hips pressing into my cracked spine, causing me to yelp. “To hear you scream.” He gripped my hair, bringing my head up next to his cheek, my back bending in a way that caused my whole body to feel as though it were being ripped apart. “To watch the life drain from your body and into my hands.”

“Do it,” I said, my voice gurgled from the blood in my lungs.

“What was that?” He asked.

“Do it!” I shout. “If you want me dead so bad, do it! Kill me you son of a bitch!” I sputter, blood dribbling down my lip. I feel his lips against my ear. I feel them curl into a smirk. I feel his breath tickling my ear as he lets out a soft chuckle.

“If you say so,” He hisses, moving his hands to my neck. “See you in hell.” The muscles in his arms flex as he moves suddenly, my neck twisting under his fingers. His lips curl into a smile as he feels the bone snap, and he laughs as my head falls to the concrete.

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[ijustwant2write]

The Ideal Daughter-In Law-Jax Teller x Reader (Part 1)

(GIF credit to owner)

Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: After the kidnapping of Abel, Jax had a meltdown, his mind is too in shock to process anything around him. His oldest friend (Y/N), along with the rest of his family and the club, do everything they can to help him. However, his so-called girlfriend, Tara, isn’t doing her part. But for some reason, no one else can see that besides (Y/N).

Characters: Jax Teller x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, bitchiness

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As I parked up in Teller Morrow, I turned off the engine and sat back for a few minutes. It had been an exhausting week. Some of the workers were outside fixing cars, there was not a Son in sight. No, they had much bigger problems on their hands. Abel had been kidnapped, no one had any idea where he could be, not even the police. He was so young, so fragile, so small; how could someone rip a baby from their parent’s arms? It was barbaric.

Breathing in and out slowly, I tried to remain calm. Everyone was under pressure, very stressed out. Although it was an extremely saddening time, some of us had to attempt to keep everyone sane. As I exited my car, Juice called out my name, jogging to my side. I hugged him as a greeting.

“Didn’t know you were swinging by today.” he commented.

“Well, I have nothing to do today, so I figured that I would come to help as much as I could.”

“Not sure what’s left to do. We’re at a dead end.”

We started to walk to the clubhouse.“Don’t speak like that! We are going to get him back.”

His eyes softened.“I know. I just can’t stand to see Jax like this.”

“No, me neither.” Entering the clubhouse together, we saw some of the members sat around, looking fed up. Cautious with my words, I slid on a bar stool next to Opie.

“Hi guys.” I started, only receiving a few answers.“Any news?”

They all shook their heads. It was clear to see that everyone felt the same about Abel. We were all very close to each other, blood or not.

Instead of speaking to everyone, I turned to Opie.“Hey, you seen Jax recently?”

“Yeah, the other day. But he doesn’t even speak anymore or awknowlawdge that you’re there.”

“I want to see him. But that bitch won’t let me in the house anymore.”

“Tara?”

“Who else? I get it, they’re together now, but he’s still my friend.”

“That was one of his biggest mistakes, choosing her over you.”

I had been the one to make a move on Jax. I wasn’t going to hide my feelings if they were there. Surprisingly he accepted it, and we were dating. Sort of. It wasn’t really official but we were always with each other, kissing, showing off with the PDA and also lots of sex. Having grown up with the club (my father was a mechanic before he passed away), I was already part of the family. Abel was also already born before any of this, making me his mother for those couple of months. I loved him, although he came out of a crackhead’s vagina, he was still perfect. But of course I couldn’t have this happy life for long.

Tara Knowles came sauntering back into town. She thought she could take back everything that used to be hers, including Jax; unfortunately for me, she was right. It was as if I no longer existed. As soon as she turned up at his house, he was practically on his knees begging her to come back. What happened to me? I wasn’t even sure myself. He just left me. Simple.

It took a few months for me to forgive him. I was a weak soul. I loved him too much to just kick him out my life. Opie and Gemma were the only ones who had the courage to tell me that I was an idiot. They had told me to stay and keep on fighting, as if I hadn’t already tried.

“Damn right it was.” Gemma appeared beside me, not waiting to give me a hug.

“Guys, this isn’t important right now.”

“That should be you in that house with him. Look, I’m going over later on, you wanna come?”

“I don’t-”

“I’ll make sure she lets you in. Come on, you haven’t seen him for ages.”

I sighed.“Thanks Gemma.”

As I drove Gemma and I to Jax’s house, my heart beat started to accelerate. It had been quite a few weeks since I saw him, only able to catch him once after Abel’s kidnapping. I prayed that Tara wouldn’t be there, I needed to see him, to comfort him. I almost hadn’t noticed that we were turning into his street, the route was engraved into my mind.

I trailed behind Gemma as she headed to the house, now feeling unsure of myself. What if Jax didn’t want to see me? What if Tara had convinced him not to see me anymore? Jax only ever listened to her now and he was vulnerable. Trying to push The negative thoughts away, I stood behind Gemma as she knocked on the door. When no one answered, she took out her spare key, calling out to her son as we entered. Looking around the house, everything seemed clean, if Tara hadn’t been living there I knew it would look like a junkyard. I waited for Gemma to find Jax first, figuring that it would be better than bombarding him with people. Their voices were muffled and I didn’t want to eavesdrop. Slowly making my way to the kitchen, I peeked in slightly, my heart breaking over Jax’s appearance as he say at the table; he had got worse, the bags under his eyes now even bigger, hair greasy and his beard unkept. For a moment I lost it, rushing over and hugging him tightly. It felt great when he wrapped one of his arms around me too, the other occupied with a cigarette.

I sat on the seat opposite him, still holding onto his hand.“When was the last time you showered?”

He didn’t look at me, shrugging his shoulders.

I tugged on his hand “Jax, get up off your arse and shower. You stink, it’ll help you feel better.” Just as I was about to pull him out of his chair, he surprised me by stunning out the cigarette and heading to the bathroom. Gemma and I glanced at each other, staying silent as we waited to hear the sound of running water. When we did, we shared a smile, relieved that he was doing something productive today.

“I couldn’t even get him out of bed, how the hell did you do that?” Gemma asked as she handed me a cup of coffee.

“I don’t even know myself. I was getting ready to drag him out of the room.”

“You two have something, I’m telling ya’.”

We made small talk as Jax showered, sometimes going quiet to listen out for him. He walked back in properly dress, no sweatpants and old shirt; he had his jeans and a SAMCRO hoodie, his hair still wet. He kissed his mom’s forhead before sitting beside me. As he went to speak, the front door opened and I tried not to groan as Tara appeared in the doorway.

She didn’t try to hide her disgust as she saw me.“Hi, I didn’t know you guys were coming.”

“Sorry, tried to book an appointment but your receptionist wasn’t picking up.” I mocked.

“I thought I told you to stay away.”

“I thought I told you to go fuck yourself.”

“Alright!” Gemma interrupted.“I brought (Y/N) with me. You can’t keep these guys apart.”

Tara said nothing, walking over to Jax and placing a long kiss to his lips, obviously trying to rub it in. I kept on staring at them, not showing any signs of weakness; if she thought I was going to back down, she had another thing coming. As she went to put her work things away, I rolled my eyes, already pissed off. How did Jax put up with her? Gemma decided to start up a conversation, wanting to forget what just happened.

Tara came back in, fixing herself a drink before sitting on the other side of Jax. We avoided each other’s gaze the whole time. Yes, we were very petty. The awkward tension was building up by the minute, everyone could feel it, so we were all secretly relieved when some of the Sons came walking through. Clay, Tig, Opie, Chibs and Juice made their presence known as they entered the house, knowing they needed to act like this in front of Jax.

“Jackie boy!” Chibs clapped him in the shoulders, shaking him slightly.“You’ve had a shower!”

“(Y/N) finally convinced him.” Gemma smiled.

“Nice one lass.” he came and kissed me on the forehead before doing the same with Gemma but completely missing Tara out. Ha.

“Hey Clay, can I speak to you please?” Tara asked. He nodded and walked out, leaving me to wonder.

Everyone helped themselves to anything they wanted, though that wasn’t unusual. I thought it was good for Jax to be surrounded by his family. He was starting to talk a little more now, I saw a hint of a smile coming through. However, the mood had to come to an end when Tig spoke up about the situation at hand.

“Jax, we’re heading to the docks today, see if we can get any more leads. You’re coming with us.” he said.

Jax didn’t respond for a second before slowly nodding.

“Great. We’re going now.”

As they started to discuss what was going to happen, I used the excuse to go to the bathroom when really I wanted to seek out Tara and Clay. They were stood in Abel’s room, the door slightly ajar, open enough for me to listen in.

“Tara, don’t worry. You’re doing a great job. It seems like he’s getting better.” I heard Clay say.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah. He’s lucky he’s got you right now. You’ve done so much for him, for all of us. I couldn’t imagine him with anyone else.”

My mouth hung open in shock. What the hell had she done?! Gemma had informed me that she was never there, always working and when Tara did come home, she was too tired to do anything. Her boyfriend’s son was kidnapped, surely she would be showing some sympathy? And what had she done for the club? Tara constantly bad mouthed the club, she had never liked it. It hurt that Clay had said that to her.

I walked away quickly, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping. Locking myself in the bathroom, I waited a few minutes before exiting. Rage filled my body, I couldn’t even hide it. As I snatched my handbag off the table, Gemma stood and followed me out of the room, trying to keep up as I stormed out of the house.

“(Y/N)! Where are you going?” she called out.

“Home. There was no point even coming here.” I unlocked my car and was about to get in when Gemma slammed the door shut.

“And why is that?”

Everyone was filing out of the house now. I usually didn’t want to cause scenes and have a huge outburst but today was an exception.

“I’m done with this Gemma. I can’t pussy foot around anymore.” I sternly said.

She waited for an explanation.

“I’ve been the one helping Jax. I was the one making sure he had enough food in the day, that he had company, a shoulder to cry on!”

“I know you and Tara don’t get along-”

“She’s getting all the praise! She’s not even comforting him anymore, he told me so.”

The Sons were at their bikes, Tara in the doorway. Clay decided to step in which was a bad mistake on his part.

“Now’s not the time for this. We’ve got more important matters.”

“No, now is the only time we’ll talk about this. I heard what you said to her. At first I thought they were all lies; you had always told me how much you hated her, only that she was useful when we got into major trouble. But you sounded so genuine-”

“(Y/N) enough-”

“I just want Jax to get better! But nothing is going to change if he stays cooped up in that house with her.”

I was getting myself worked up and I hated crying in front of anyone. Slightly shoving Gemma out of the way, I got in the car, driving away as fast as I could before I changed my mind. Some family.

[abstractedthinking]

D•E•A•T•H•N•O•T•E

Meet my sides

What my sides look like

Ficlets: First day Sleepless Hold onto me (cause I'm a little unsteady) You Can Run Away With Me

I do not own deathnote or any of the content portrayed in the Anime. This is created by a fan in order to expound upon the love I have for it.

Now that we have copyright issues out of the way I do need to say that this has VERY MILD spoilers of episode 12: Love. Nothing beyond that. This is made because immediately after the *sterotypical dumb blonde* appeared and revealed their motives, I immediately started to pick them apart and try to understand them on a psychological basis.

If you are not up to episode 12, DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE IT MILDLY SPOILED!

With all that out of the way, let us begin. (Ps this also apparently takes place at a time after Sleepless)

****

Everything has started to finally relax after the attack from Salem on Parker and her sides, Parker went to a new doctor and got a new prescription for an antidepressant known as CeleXA, and after it kicked it Salem's clutches upon her loosened slightly, just enough for self-preservation to win out every time, and since Salem was much weaker, Katya's injuries got less and less severe but she still was just as exhausted each time.

Parker had decided that she wanted to take care of Katya's injuries as, 'it was the least I can do... you've saved my life how many times now?'

After a slightly more aggressive attack from Salem, Katya and Parker sit on the couch in the physical world watching Netflix together. More specifically Deathnote. A show that both of them had been wanting to watch for a long time. Originally they just planned to watch one episode as Parker cleaned and bandaged a scratch on Katya's wrist, but, Parker had pushed up her leather jacket and black flannel sleeves to see that all the old scars that littered her arm had reopened, "Katya! Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"

The side simply shrugs, avoiding the host's eyes, "Take off your jacket. The flannel too."

"Not gonna happen, Park. It's really not that bad." She shoves down her sleeves and hunkers in, watching the anime intently. When the credits roll the anxious side unfolds herself and stands and readies herself to sink out, "If you let me take care of all of your injuries I'll marathon this with you."

The Anxious side slowly turns to look at her, the wheels in her head turning, ".... if we marathon it, it'll be available in the mindscape for me to watch whenever."

"I know."

"If I can watch it whenever I'll be able to see how popular culture of the time and even theories possibly influenced the anime."

A smirk, "I know."

Parker can feel Katya's own excitement buzzing under her skin, and can practically see the wheels turning as she weighs the pros of staying (Deathnote, psychological evals of the characters, Deathnote, conspiracy theories of the time period, Deathnote!!! Psychoses of the characters! DEATHNOTE) verses the cons (jacket gone. Flannel gone. Skin on display. She's going to touch me. She's going to see all her old scars. What if that causes her to relapse. Will I be able to save her again.) Katya turns her matching green eyes to the host's, taking Parker apart and seeing if her own her own desires could possibly be taken into consideration and fulfilled for once. After thorough examination of her consenting host's mental state, she sighs heavily, "Start up episode 2." She slowly begins to remove her jacket and carefully fold it up, followed by her flannel so she only has a soft black tank top on. The various marks on her arms are on full display, the reopened wounds stand out vibrantly against her pale skin. She lowers herself back to the couch and scrunches into a ball, resting her head on her knees, stiffly holding her arm out.

Parker gives her a grateful smile as she pushes play, making sure it's started before she begins to clean and bind Katya's wounds. Too focused to notice how some of tension leaves the other at her touch.

~

It takes her a bit to finish cleaning and covering the reopened wounds, but as soon as she says she's finished, the anxious side immediately pulls her flannel back on, "... you know you don't have to do this every time right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Parker. Come on," Katya leans forward and presses pause, stopping somewhere in the midst of episode 4, "I'm a side. I'm not an actual person so I can't die, I need a few of the things that humans need to survive, but at the end of the day... when I get hurts it's not a big deal."

Parker stares at the other open mouthed,"Okay. You're an aspect of my personality, yeah. But that doesn't mean that you or your hurt are any less important," she grabs the others hands, just slightly colder than her own, "You're physical. Right here, right now you're real flesh and blood and bones. Which makes you just as deserving of care. Hell, even when you sink out you're still deserving of care! You protect me so much that literally the least I can do is to is try to help ease your pain afterwards! I can't be there all the times and that sucks, but when I can be I'm going to try to fix you up as best I can and try to take care of you. If movies are included with that, then we're gonna watch movies!"

Katya looks down, a small rare smile crossing her features and reaching her eyes, "I forget how stubborn we all are sometimes...but thanks..." she clears her throat, a bit uncomfortable, "Back to the Anime for crying out loud!"

~

The credits for episode 12 start to roll, "WHAT?!" Katya pushes stop, and gets to her feet, "Okay no," she starts to walk a line in the floor, turning back and walking the same line, pacing. Her heavy platforms loudly thunking with every step she takes, "Nearly everyone in this show is real messed up. So, we've got L, Light, and this blonde bitch, Misa. L is the most normal, he's a genius, he might be a sociopath- no it's more likely he's on the autism spectrum with how he operates. He's also highly functioning with a strong sense of justice-"

"He must be protected."

A pause in the rhythmic thumps, "Shh." The thumps Resume as she continues, "I really want to pick him apart but... I don't know enough yet!"

"If he gets hurt I'm gonna cry."

The platforms once again pause, "Don't even say that," they resume their stride, "Light is a huge piece of work.. Light could 100% be a sociopath but-"

"-But he exhibited signs of distress when he realized the Deathnote was real and was actually killing people."

"Don't blame him for that," Katya chuckles, "so even though thus far he exhibits a lot of signs of sociopathy... he might not be one. It's more likely-"

"-or lightly!"

"Don't start that. You're not as clever as you think. Anyway, he could have antisocial personality disorder... he exhibits lots of those traits..."

"He is also really narcissistic, I mean 'I will be the god of this world' come on!"

Katya smirks, "Yeah. He's definitely a narcissist. But he's also detached... he didn't give a shit in one of the first episodes if Ryuk was gonna take his soul.... but again, sociopathy... he doesn't give a shit about what happens to people if it helps him create his perfect world."

"Hmm... he's also extremely detached with himself since he was able to stay cool under L examining him.... so he could have some aspects of psychopathy as well.. if the spaceland date was anything to go by he's also emotional abusive with the girls he interacts with, and he only interacts with people if it will benefit him."

"I bet he pulled wings off of butterflies as a kid," Katya states ceasing her pacing and staring at Parker.

"There's no doubt about it," Parker nods.

"... but he also treats Kira as a separate entity, so he could have multiple personality disorder."

"... that's true. But now what about Misa-"

"Don't get me started on blondie. She's stupid! And arrogant! And she gives up half of her lifespan so she can maybe help him out by killing L? Did the shinigami dying for her give her some sort of a god complex?! And she wants to meet Kira so badly?! She does what's called Monster Worship! UGH!" Katya flops back onto the couch, drawing her knees to her chest. Parker looks at her, snickering when she's reminded of L,"How do you know so much about psychology? I thought it was Athena that handled all my knowledge."

"I'm left brain too. I know stuff too, plus it's interesting cause it lets me see people's motives easier."

Parker slowly nods, "I gotcha."

"But this show is driving me crazy! The characters are just... GAH!!"

The two are quiet for a moment before Parker breaks the silence,

"So you wanna watch more?"

"Fuck yeah."

"Light needs lots of drugs. Lots of prescription drugs to fix all that," Parker says, leaning forward to start the next episode.

"No fucking joke."

*

sorry this took so long to get up! I've had it written but no time to edit it

Please leave feedback and let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list!

@parkersanders / @xaandiir @emo-space-trash @sunshinelollip0ps @gabe-killed-me-with-ace-cream @ssides @ashrain5 @sketchymel @theoneandonlyfangirlofpower

[etoilesdephan]

Brave on like the stars

Summary: How cruelly beautiful is the universe. Through childhood, two children, into the adulthood, a single man with a torn heart.

TRIGGER WARNING: Major character death. 

Word count: 3.6k

Read it on ao3!

A/N: THIS IS UNEDITED WORK. Mostly because I actually cried while writing this and I couldn't bear going back to edit it. I'm sorry, maybe I will edit someday.I have no excuse for writing this.

======

“Phiiiiiiiilllll,” The child's voice yelled as the little boy, still stumbling over his feet a little, ran across the room and jumped onto the older boy who fell back with the weight of another body colliding with his. They tumbled, laughing, on the ground, and the two mothers looked at them fondly as the two-year-old Dan pressed a sloppy kiss on six-year-old Phil's cheek only causing Phil to flail.

“I love you, Phil!” Dan announced, the voice high and happy and he squealed when the older boy pulled him in for a hug before starting to tickle the younger boy.

The happiness was all around them, and they remained sunny.

======

“Did you know that stars are really really, really far away?” Phil asked and there was a wonder in Dan's dark eyes as they looked up at the rare clear sky through Phil's bedroom window.

“But they look so close, almost as if,” Dan went on his tiptoes, reaching a hand up, touching the window pane “I could touch them, if I was tall enough.”

“No, they are very far away!” Phil spoke, the equal shine in nine-year-old's eyes, his arms reaching out to help Dan onto the table where the younger boy leaned against the closed window. “They are further away than London!”

That made Dan giggle “Silly, even my grandmama lives further than that!”

Phil laughed to that, leaning on his elbows against the table and rested his chin in open palms while looking up on the faint twinkles in the sky.

======

“Hey honey, how was school?” His mother, soft as ever, asked when Dan dropped his bag next to the kitchen counter and pulled himself onto the seat.

“Phil doesn't talk to me,” Tears welled up in his eyes, though he squirmed trying to keep them from falling.

“Oh, Bear, I'm sure he was just busy,” His mum, wrapping her arms around the ten-year-old, hugged him close and assured.

Dan just sniffled in her apron.

======

“Hey nerd, what are you scribbling there again,” A shadows of a guy much taller than him hovered over Dan and he hunched over his notebook, trying to hide the words scratched on it in Dan's poor handwriting. He didn't want to let the bullies close to his work again, and he was just hoping that one of the teachers would step in to stop them from stealing his work again.

“Come on, don't tell me you've become a mute now, too,” He felt a shove, and was about to jump up and leave when someone grabbed his notebook, trying to pry it out of his grasp.

“That's mine!” He tried to sound angry but there were tears lining his voice and it only made the bully and the nearby friends laugh.

“Oi, leave him be, Gee,” A familiar, pleasant baritone, voice suddenly interrupted and instantly the laughter died down and Dan used the chance to pull the notebook out of Gee's hands, quickly stuffing it into his backpack that he then held close to his chest.

A familiar boy, much taller now than Dan, walked up to them, interrupting the circle of people that were trapping Dan to the cafeteria seat. Even more familiar hand settled on Dan's shoulder and he dared to look up through the long gangs of hair covering his face.

Phil was so tall, so grown up and so much more menacing than the rest, considering his height. Though he was quite scrawny while at it, there was enough authority in that stance to shoo away the offenders. “Forgot he was your bitch, Lester,” One of them sneered while leaving and Dan felt the grip on his shoulder tighten almost enough to hurt, but he bit his lip to not cry out.

“Are you alright?” Phil turned to him, when the bullies had disappeared from their sight, and Dan nodded, head hung low, avoiding to look the older boy in the eyes.

“Hey, come on, look at me,” Prompted by the words Dan looked up and was struck by that soft, wide smile that Phil was regarding him with.

“I'll make sure they don't bother you anymore, alright?”

He nodded.

Phil was so grown up, and so cooler, yet took time to look out for Dan, and it was quietly to himself that Dan was fearing the next year when Phil will be done with high school and Dan would be left alone.

“You want to come over today?” The offer was unexpected, and Dan blinked at the older boy, full of surprise “Mum's been asking about you, and I got a new documentary on space that I think you would enjoy!''

Everything about Dan wanted to be mean and refuse, to say that he didn't want to accept the pity. Why now after pretty much ignoring him for most of last four years?

Yet, what he found himself saying was the opposite.

“I'd love to.”

======

“This is amazing, Dan!” The exclamation made Dan flush a bright red and he looked away from the boy seated across him at the cafe.

“If you finish this, you could easily get published!” Phil went on and Dan brought the cup of coffee up to his face, partially to take a sip and partially to hide the beetroot redness of his cheeks.

“It's not that good...” He tried to interject but nearly spilled his coffee when Phil reached out to hold his hand up, halting Dan from speaking.

“I'm studying English and none of the works of anyone there have been as rich and vivid as yours. I mean it, finish this and you'll be swooped up by the best of publishers in no time!” And when Dan looked into those determined blue eyes, he believed it.

======

“Congratulations!!!” Dan grinned widely at his excited friend and threw his arms around Phil in return when the taller boy pulled him into an embrace.

“It's just high school, you spork, not that big of an achievement,” He was laughing but gladly leaned in when he felt his body squeezed gently in the hug. He pressed his face against Phil's shoulder and inhaled. The familiarity filled him with warmth and he only grinned more widely when they parted, Phil's hands still on Dan's shoulders.

“I hope you don't have any plans tonight,” Phil announced, but there was a questioning quality in the words and Dan just rolled his eyes at him.

“Yeah, like I'm the one to crave partying with my graduation class, getting wasted soooooo much.”

“Come on, Dan, this is the last time you'll see them all, I just want to make sure that I'm not taking that away from you,” It was so sincere that Dan's heart melted a little and any sarcasm that had formed on his lips vanished like cotton candy.

“What do I tell my parents, when should they expect me home?”

The way Phil grinned made Dan the happiest person even in the crowd of cheers.

======

“Can you believe that the universe is so huge?” Phil asked, his voice hushed as the two of them sat, pressed up close to each other under the blanket as they sat on the hood of the old car that Phil drove. The sky was clear for once, again, and so they settled in the small parking lot. Only the remains of a small bonfire were left, only stars and the crescent of the moon lighting up their world.

“We're so insignificant in the whole of the universe,” Dan murmured back, leaning his head on Phil's shoulder.

“But that's the brilliance of it, we brave on and achieve, though there's only so much that we can touch with our actions. Just look at our sun, it's so small in the grand scheme of things but it's given us the chance to live,” Phil's voice, though hushed was full of excitement and Dan closed his eyes, listening to it, allowing the pleasant timbre to run through the entirety of his being. Absentmindedly he reached out for Phil's hand and his heart was in flight when their fingers entwined in a perfect match.

“It's so beautiful,“ His lips formed the words, a realisation that they had been born through the vision of Phil and settled in Dan's soul “We exist, despite the odds and the meaninglessness.”

“It's beautiful,” Phil mirrored, and Dan felt a thumb run over his knuckles gently “To be able to exist at the same time.”

Silence settled between the two and Dan felt the little shift of the other man as if it was his own.

He felt eyes on himself, but didn't dare to open his, afraid that it would pull him out of the beauty of the moment.

“Dan,” It was spoken as softly as the most tender silk and he looked up finally, their eyes meeting. There was a question in Phil's and an answer in Dan's, and their hearts beat joyously when Phil leaned in, their lips brushing together lightly. It was a silent moment, and Dan let it sink in before leaning in again, warmth of mouths mixing together and breaths short and needy.

When they finally pulled apart, Dan leaned his head back on Phil's shoulder

Their fingers remained entwined comfortably.

======

“So tell us, what inspired you to write “Orion Nebula” series?” The interviewer questioned, while patting the back of Dan's third and final book of the series.

He leaned in to the microphone, the big headphones on his head bulky but he found comfort in the closed space interview at the radio; he'd never enjoyed the ones where he got filmed. He never knew what to do with his hands and would constantly fidget. Here, he was just a voice and he knew how to be a pleasant spokesperson “I have to give all the credit to my fiance, Phil, who has always encouraged me to keep writing and,” He looked down at his hand, where the engagement ring was shining shamelessly on his finger “Who has always nurtured my interest in the cosmos.”

“I heard about the engagement, congratulations,” The interviewer added and Dan nodded, a soft thank you returned.

“Now when can we expect the film adaptation of the series, I've heard that several studios have been interested in taking on the project.”

“Well...”

======

“He's in the hospital, Dan,” His heart was beating hard and his whole body felt numb, as he looked at his mother, but every word that came from her mouth felt like a foreign language “He got into an accident, and it doesn't look good.''

He swallowed and numbly brought the phone out of his pocket. He wanted to text Phil but after opening the conversation, he was left staring at the last few messages, where a simple ''good luck!'' remained as the last thing he'd received.

“Bring me to him?” Finally, he turned to his mum, and she nodded, her eyes red-rimmed but more than anything concerned by the peace that Dan was displaying.

======

“Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust--” The prayer continued but Dan could barely hear it.

His eyes were locked onto the casket as it was slowly covered in dirt, and with the body of his love, his heart was buried, too.

The accident had been fatal. It was in mere hours that the hope had been reduced to dust, blown away by the wind and departed with the soul of the one and only.

His hand shook as he released the handful of dark soil and the rattle against the wood were like tiny stabs to his torn heart. They fell, grain by grain, as needles against the bleeding wound, and with every each of them, his throat would close up more and more till it hurt too much to swallow and the tears silently fell from his eyes, no end to the currents.

“Farewell, my love,” He wanted to say, but the words never rolled off his lips, for he still wasn't willing to let him go. It was too soon, and it was not fair. He wanted to scream, and burrow under the soil as well.

He felt hands of his mother on his shoulders when he slunk down to his knees at the foot of the fresh grave.

======

“This is darker than your older series, but it is good,” His editor assured him and Dan merely nodded, sitting across the woman at her office, looking down at the manuscript of his newest book. It had taken a long time, far too long, in fact, but it was done and it was as good as he could make it.

Everything he had felt was poured into the pages, his blood pitch black ink and the roughness of the paper his calloused fingertips.

“I will have to run it by spell check and here are some notes of revision,” Dan accepted the printed manuscript, idly beginning to leave through it to see the red markings and the woman kept going on about how it could be published within a month if they would find satisfactory publishing contract quickly.

“Look at that, fourth book, isn't that wonderful,” He mumbled to himself when he returned home, and dropped the manuscript onto the table, the force scattering the notes that had been piled on the edge of the table, some of the papers falling onto the ground while others settled on the keyboard of his computer.

He paid them no mind.

A house was not a home, and though he was surrounded by everything one would want, he felt homeless and naked, thrown into the world mercilessly. A laughing stock of pity, a broken soul leaking through the cracks.

“Chinese food sounds nice,” He continued on talking, grabbing the menu advertisement from the coffee table and browsing it as he sat on the right side of the sofa, where the crease had become more prominent as the moths had bled into a year and more. Yet he never touched onto the left side. It was not his side, and though it was just him alone who owned the apartment, he felt the dual ownership still reigning over the place.

He didn't want it any other way.

“Isn't that strange that I can't seem to move on?” He asked to the empty space besides him as he flipped through the channels, nothing catching his attention “How is it that we're built to such insignificance yet we leave such huge marks still?”

With frustration of nothing interesting on, he dropped the remote, leaving a random tv show playing in the background as he picked up the food when it arrived. The two boxes stood on his counter and he looked down at them for a silent moment before grabbing one and leaving the other behind.

“I think you really would have liked this,” Dan eyed the manuscript across the room, sticking food into his mouth in between his words, his gaze absent, but if he tried hard enough, it felt like maybe he would hear him again. That maybe that calming baritone will suddenly ring in his ears and wake him up from life.

That maybe he would be released early too, so he could fulfil the promised forever finally.

======

“I know it's here,” He pushed the books around in the shelf, frustration building up in his chest cavity, as the year had bled into two, and third was coming around.

The sofa crease had grown. The fifth book freshly printed and placed next to the other four on his table was a reminder of the passing time. The clutter grew, but there were some things he never intended to get rid of.

“Where the hell did you put it?!” Dan cussed at himself, angling his body to reach behind the busy line of books to search for his old notebook.

“Huh?” His fingers touched a mushed, worn out back of a book, and curiosity got the best of him. Carefully, he pulled it out.

The paperback was worn, well-loved with how many times it had been read. The pages smelled of dust now, and had begun yellowing more, the little nicks and folds giving it years that it didn't truly have yet.

Gently, he ran the fingers over it.

It was the first release of his first book. And it was one of Phil's most treasured items. Dan remembered finding Phil with his nose buried into it over and over again and every time Dan would blush, and tell him off, mention how there's another part and how the first book was a lot more terribly written than the others.

Phil had always looked up with a bright smile and that same lively excitement as ever “I want to know it by heart, so when I make a movie of it, it's perfect!”

Film production had become Phil's passion, and so many dreams had been formed around it.

Dreams that never came to be.

Dreams that Dan had tried to keep alive and Phil's private, when he had turned down every offer of producing a film adaptation to Orion Nebula.

Slowly, Dan opened up the cover of the book, not sure what he wanted to find in it, and briefly seeing his own cheesy handwritten thank you note to Phil before a small envelope fell out from between the pages, landing next to Dan's feet.

He looked down at it, the blank envelope not disclosing its contents to him. It laid there, inviting him to pick it up.

Slowly, he kneeled, and picked it up, the book closed and stuffed under his arm as he looked at it for a while, his heart racing and fingers trembling as he turned it around. A single folded piece of paper was peeking out from it and for a moment he wanted to stick the envelope back into the book and hide it forever.

Yet, he allowed his fingers to reach out and tug out the paper. It was fine, like written for something special, and when Dan finally unfolded it, he gasped and sat down.

The messy handwriting was familiar still, and the way there was so much effort put into it made him remember the times Phil would sit just in this same room, hunched over his own idea notebooks, trying to figure out the best way to adapt a story into film.

“Dan,

I never thought that this day would come that I would truly be allowed to call you mine. Through years that passed, so many mistakes were made and at times I thought you were lost for me forever.

Yet here we stand, and you are mine just as much I am yours.

How rare and beautiful this alignment of the world is. How the universe has given me my existence at the same time with your own. How it may mean we will spend long nights just eating Chinese food and watching silly shows. How I get to see you create the most wondrous things in your stories. How you let me kiss you in the mornings though you are still grumpy with sleep.

How I have given the chance to love you through the rest of my lifeline.

I promise you, not just with this ring, but with every fibre of my being to love you till my last breath, and though our scepticism of afterlife is real, I know that the stardust we are made of will for the eternity be drawn to yours. I will forever be by your side even when it seems like I am not and I will love you beyond the existence of this eternity.

I know you don't like getting cheesy, and you know I dislike it as well, but just this once, let me express my deepest fondness for everything that makes you.

The sloppy kisses that I've been blessed to be on the receiving end of.

The messy curly hair when you really get into your work, when your beautiful mind is racing.

The lithe fingers that bring words into the existence.

That foul mouth that will find the most sarcastic comments yet I'll always know the true meaning behind them.

Those beautiful brown eyes in which I seek the love and wonder and always find it.

Your heart that beats in the rhythm of my own, and even if life is short and I may be gone soon, it will brave on like the stars themselves in the vast unknown.

Your soul that will expand with the lives you create and those you'll save, because to write miracles is to save so many.

Your being, that I will be forever thankful for, because I would not be who I am without you.

Daniel Howell, thank you for granting me this time with you, and know I'll cherish you forever.

I love you.”

A wet droplet landed on the paper and Dan quickly wiped it away, afraid that the salty tears would eat away the ink.

To brave on like the stars in the universe. He had promised to do that so many times, but never had thought about the time closing in so quickly that he would have to fulfil his promise.

“I love you too, Phil,” He murmured as he looked down at the wedding vows through bleary eyes.

A dull star, he was, but he had promised.

And to continue on he would.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

All Hell Breaks Loose Part Two- Part 4

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,893

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, ANGST!!!!, major character death, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. If you’re a junkie for this sort of thing, then a tag list is the right thing for you! If you want to be a Queen, I’ll add you to that list too! Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

This is it. This is the finale of Season 2. Wow, this season was a rollercoaster to write and this episode was intense! I would love to hear what guys thought about this one. Please. 

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

You, Sam, Dean Bobby and Ellen all arrived at the cemetery before Jake ever got there. This was the moment you were waiting for. You held your gun, ready to shoot Jake for fatally injuring you. You and the group have been waiting for a while now but when you heard the creak of the cemetery gate, you knew Jake was here.

You waited behind a large tomb by yourself, waiting for the exact moment to come out. You heard footsteps come closer and when you knew he was close enough, you stepped out with everyone else, all your guns raised.

“Hey, Jake.” You said, glaring at him. At first glance, he became almost faint, staring at you as if he’s seen a ghost.

“Wait… you were dead. I killed you.” Jake said.

“Yeah? I suggest finishing the job next time.” You said, with a hard glare.

“I did! I shoved that knife right into your heart! You can’t be alive. You just can’t.” Jake said, making you lower your gun. You frowned, looking over at Dean who looked away. Wait, if you died, then how are you standing here?

“Okay, just take it really easy there, son,” Bobby said, changing the subject.

“If I don’t?”

“I’ll kill you.” You said, looking away from Dean and back at Jake, your gun raised. You were definitely going to come back to the death thing later. You had a suspicion you knew what happened but you needed to hear it from Dean’s mouth before you began panicking.

“Oh really? You had your chance. You or Sam couldn’t do it.” Jake said.

“We won’t make that mistake twice.” Your voice was hard and cold towards him. Jake then started to laugh which pissed off everyone there.

“Why are you laughing, you son of a bitch?” Dean demanded to know.

“Hey lady,” Jake said, looking at Ellen. “Do me a favor. Put that gun to your head.” You watched in horror as Ellen did as he was told, pressing the end of the gun to her temple. “See, that Ava girl was right. Once you give in to it, there are all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn.”

“Let her go,” Sam said, looking between Ellen and Jake. You wanted to help her but you knew that if you took one step, Jake would make her fire.

“Don’t make a move. You’ll be mopping up her before you get a shot out for me.” Jake threatened. You knew he was right and everyone dropped their gun except for Ellen. You looked at Dean again but he wouldn’t meet your eyes and you rolled your eyes. Your suspicion was becoming more and more true the more he didn’t look at you.

Jake took the Colt out of his pocket and walked over to a certain crypt. While he was inserting it, Dean and Bobby looked at one another and nodded. They moved together to grab Ellen before she could shoot herself and you took this opportunity.

You raised your gun and shot Jake in the back four times, making him let go of the Colt, dropping to the ground. The Colt was still inside the crypt but you weren’t concerned with that right now. You walked over to Jake who gasped up at you, blood running out of his mouth.

“Please… don’t. Please.” He begged. You had no mercy when you raised the gun and shot him three more times in the chest, killing him. Blood splattered on your face but you didn’t care. Everyone walked up to you and as Dean was going to touch you, you moved from his grasp, pissed at him.

He was about to say something when you all heard clicking coming from the crypt. You frowned and looked at the Colt, watching as two separate engravings on the crypt, spin in different directions then suddenly stop.

“Oh no,” Bobby said, his eye wide.

“Bobby, what is it?” You asked, worried. Dean reached out to the Colt when Bobby yelled.

“Take cover! Now!!” Bobby yelled. You listened, pulling Dean with you after he pulled the Colt from the crypt. You and everyone rushed away, ducking behind tombstones just as the doors to the crypt busted open.

You looked behind you to see a very large black mass start to come out, shooting outward in all different directions. Those were demons and they were escaping hell.

“What the hell just happened?” Dean yelled, looking at Bobby and Ellen.

“That’s a devil’s gate! A damn door to hell!” She yelled.

“We have to shut the door!” You yelled, looking at the black smoke that continued to pour out. Shit, that was a lot of demons. You got up but didn’t do anything when you saw Yellow eyes appear behind Dean while Dean was looking at the Colt.

Yellow eyes flung the gun out of Dean’s hand and into his own with a laugh.

“Boys shouldn’t play with Daddy’s guns,” Yellow said with a grin. He raised his hand and used his demonic powers to throw Dean into a tombstone where he hit his head. Bobby, Ellen, and Sam were trying to close the doors.

“Dean!” you yelled, catching the attention of the demon.

“Look who’s back from the dead. You know, it might be harder to kill you than I thought. But I’ll come back to you in a minute.” He said, throwing you against the tree with his powers.

“Dean!!!” You yelled, struggling against the power. The demon threw Dean into a post and Dean grunted out in displeasure, not giving into his games.

“So, Dean, I’m not sure what to do with Y/N now that she’s back in rotation. But see, demons can’t resurrect people unless a deal is made. I wasn’t counting on that and now that she’s back, I have to kill her again myself. But thanks for killing Jake, I like Sam much better. But tell me, have you heard of ‘if a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is’?”

The wind was blowing to you and you could hear everything that the demon was saying. You got tears, knowing the reason you were back. You felt your heart breaking the minute the words left the demon. But demons lie, right?

Right?

“You call that deal good?” Dean asked. You looked around for the Colt but couldn’t see it through your tears. Not even your powers could get you out of this.

“Well, it’s a better deal than your daddy ever got. I’m surprised though. You wanted her back? She’s different now. How are you not sure that what you brought back was 100% Y/N?” Yellow eyes said as he laughed. “I can feel the power coming from her. She's different alright but too bad I’m going to kill her.”  

“I’m going to kill you, you son of a bitch,” Dean growled. You struggled against the hold the demon had on you and focused on your magic building. You yelled out in pain when the magic shot out around you, effectively stopping the hole the demon’s powers had on you.

You looked around you, seeing the demons escaping but also ghosts that walked among you. They were souls, not belonging in Hell at all, also escaping in a white light, probably going to Heaven. But then your eyes landed on Dean. You gasped as you watched in horror, Yellow Eyes pointing the Colt at Dean, ready to fire.

But just as he was about to pull the trigger, John Winchester appeared and grabbed the demon from behind. John managed to snake the demon out of the meat suit, the meat suit dropping to the ground with the Colt still in his hand.

John and Yellow Eyes fought until John was pushed to the ground, the smoke going back inside the body. But he didn’t have the Colt anymore. As Yellow Eyes stood up, Dean pointed the gun right at him. Dean must have snatched the gun from the body without you looking. You watched the event unfold as if they were in slow motion.

Dean fired the gun, the bullet leaving the gun and into Yellow Eyes’ heart. His whole skeleton lit up, killing him before he even hit the ground. You looked at the body, glad that he was dead but you had a bigger issue right now. The gates were still open but they were closing.

John was still standing there, staring at his kids when someone walked out of the gates before they closed. You sobbed when you saw your mother walk to John, putting a hand on his shoulder. Your mom was in hell this entire time.

She was in hell because of you.

“Mom!” You yelled into the silent night and she looked at you with a sad smile. She and John didn’t say anything but just stared at their children. But it was their time to go. Your mom, as she passed Bobby, smiled at him before walking with John.

“No!!! Momma!! Please don’t go!!” You sobbed, watching as both your mom and John disappeared into a white light. You fell to the ground, shaking and crying violently. This was all too much on your soul right now. You tried keeping your powers in control but when you felt a familiar hand touch your shoulder, you exploded.

“NO!” You screamed, the magic shooting outward from all sides of you. It knocked into Sam, Dean, Bobby, and Ellen but they managed to stay upright.

“Y/N, please,” Dean said, getting tears in his eyes.

“You sold your fucking soul for me?!” You screamed at him, getting pissed at him.

“Well, I couldn’t let you just die!” Dean yelled back at you. Ellen, Bobby, and Sam felt awkward being there but you couldn’t care less.

“God damn it! Dean! How could you do that?! How could you do that to me? To Sam? To Bobby and Ellen?” You asked, tears not stopping.

“God, I couldn’t let you die! I love you!” He yelled into the night.

“How long do you have?” You asked, your voice quiet.

“Please don’t…” Dean begged.

“Dean, how much longer do you get?”

“One year.” The minute the words left his mouth, your heart broke. Seeing him in that hospital broke you but you didn’t know how you were going to handle Dean being gone, much less in hell because of you, once again.

“One year…” You repeated, looking down as the tears left you. You let out a sob, falling to your knees. You sobbed, letting out longer and louder sobs that broke everyone’s hearts. You didn’t even care that the Demon was dead.

Your heart was hurting, it felt as if your chest was caving in on itself. You couldn’t breathe but you couldn’t stop crying. You started shaking, but Dean was there to hold you. He knew he messed up but you were alive and that’s all he cared about right now.

You wanted to get away from him but you wanted him to hold you. You wanted to slap him silly but you wanted to kiss him. But, for now, you let him hold you. You couldn’t stop the sobs from coming out, soaking his shirt as you cried.

You felt droplets of water hit your cheek and you knew he was crying too.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz  @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place @dreaminofdean @posiemax @donnaintx @mikey1822 @alexandriajanae4  @li-ssu @just-another-winchester @obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom @mizzezm  @goldenolaf25 @jessikared97 @wh1sp3r1ng-impala @charliebradbury1104    @queen-of-moons-peace-out-bitches @becs-bunker  @atc74 @lemonchapstick​

The Dean Beans:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @carribear31 @tacklesackles @oreosatmidnight @not-naturalfangirl @missselinakitty @iam-a-cutiepie  @kristendansmith @milo-winchester-4ever @jensenackesl @codyshany316 @pheonyxstorm @helllonearth @juniorhuntersam @pouterpufftrain @ruprecht0420 @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @carriemichelle2012 @aubreystilinski @sandlee44​

Series Rewrite Junkies:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging @notmoose45 @crowleysminion @mina22 @tahbehonest @hadleymcallister2177 @destielsangels @spnhybrid @oreosatmidnight @valerieshubin @seninjakitey @flyonlittlewinchester @aubreystilinski @rocketqueeens  @emilygracespellins @earthtokace​