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#na jaemin scenarios
luvyeni · 2 days
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SEX FASHION AND GUITARS — profiles !
( their public twitter accounts )
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group chat name: ( yns personal hell ❤️‍🔥)
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group chat name: ( DREAM 🎸 )
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( their private twitter accounts )
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TAGLIST.@nominsgirl@haechansbbg @axo-l0tl @darlingz99 @ermmwhattheflip @hollxe1 @lostinneocity @lovebuglissas @stars4yulia @syzavxy
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©️LUVYENI
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hannie-dul-set · 10 months
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CAN’T HANDLE THIS — N.JM.
SUMMARY. how are you supposed to explain that you and na jaemin started dating just to prove each other wrong and ended up catching feelings.
PAIRING. na jaemin x female! reader GENRE. strangers to lovers, college! au, matchmaking! au, yet another richkid! au, jaemin is an asshole again, romance, humor. WARNINGS. excessive swearing, a near death experience, drinking and smoking, more than a handful of illegal shit, mentions of vomit, blood, violence, too much sexual tension it’s unhealthy, again jaemin is kind of a dick but he’s an attractive dick, jaemin also likes it when you tell him his personality is trash. WORD COUNT. 16k TAGLIST. @alwayswithjaemin @carelessshootanonymous @sundamariis @nominsgirl @shentingz @jvjsssnaa @neozws @urfavtallgirl @dakneeee @wonforgyu @fullsunbabe @luv4jeno @rxnexxi @argooose @jaemsushi​ @stopeatread​ @lovesuhng​ @jaehyunicrecream @byunbaekcult​ @haedgaf​ @sehunniepot​ @lebrookestore​ @ghouerry​ @lanadreamie @rum-gone-why​ @ririlovesrenjun​
NOTE. upon posting the preview, this was already set out to be a one-dimensional word vomit on my most favorite guilty pleasure— jaemin being a weirdo and an asshole— but as i kept writing, i accidentally gave it a little more depth and development and oopsies. there’s 6k more words than the estimation. but this is still essentially plotless, mindless, and self-indulgent. 
hope you enjoy this characterization of jaemin because i do. way too much. this is the first long fic i’ll be posting after a year of inactivity so feedback would be appreciated haha i’m so fucking nervous to publish this hope u all like it.
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“Do I really have to go with you?”
You see, when your parents told you you were going to have dinner together with the family of your dad’s friend— explicitly mentioning that their son, who just happened to be the same age as you, would be joining— you already knew that this isn’t going to be an innocent dinner.
They think they’re slick. They act like they haven’t already done this five times before. You’re getting sick and tired, and you express your dissent once more while entering your dad’s car, pretending like you have a choice on the matter as if you hadn’t already prettied yourself up as per your mother’s request.
“I’m sure you can all have your dinner without me,” you whine, and your dad starts driving after your mom decides to take the front seat. “I still have an exam tomorrow, you know.” You can’t stop them from hauling you along for the ride, and they can’t stop you from complaining their ears off. The car is already out of the driveway and the directions to Island Prime are being spouted by the GPS. All you can do is be a nuisance throughout the ride.
“We already talked about this, sweetie,” your dad says, eyes on the road. “I’ve mentioned you to Jaehyuck and his wife, and they’d be delighted to finally meet you. They’re bringing their son too so you won’t have to worry about being out of place.”
That is exactly the source of your worries. Na Jaehyuck was your dad’s friend from graduate school and they reunited last month during NSoft’s annual charity gala. Those bougie events always have way too expensive alcohol in the mix, and your dad has a bad habit of running his mouth when he’s drunk. He has an especially terrible tendency of bragging about you when he’s drunk. His favorite thing to mention is how you’ve been class president all throughout elementary school and the time you won a typing contest in sixth grade. You made a vow to never take a sip of alcohol ever again after witnessing his drunk habits firsthand last year.
You try to control your facial muscles, worried he might get upset if he sees the reprehensible cringe you feel at the thought of him bragging about you to Mr. Na. This is the terrible habit that caused this family-to-family dinner in the first place. You weren’t there at the gala, but you can perfectly picture the event, scene-by-scene inside your head.
Your dad went on and on about how much of a responsible, reliable, talented, intelligent and gorgeous daughter you are since you took after their genes. Mr. Na has a son your age— most likely a troublemaker that needs some serious taming. Both parents are too nosy, too meddling, and too invested in their children’s love lives to brush it off. Boom. Match made.
“Darling. Back straight.”
They are seriously so overbearing. They’re great parents except when they make you feel like you can’t take care of your own garbage. You grumble, but listen to your mom’s commands and fix your posture. It isn’t like she’s any better. She takes all the credit for last month’s failed match-up. You can’t even remember the guy’s face.
After their failed five attempts to set you up with their friends’ and acquaintances’ sons and nephews, you expected them to finally give up. You’re twenty-one for god’s sake. You can find your own man if you want to.
“You’ll have wrinkles by thirty if you keep scowling like that, sweetie.”
That’ll be the least of their worries if they try to set you up again. You would try to run away, but you’re already in front of the hotel restaurant and the car keys are in your dad’s pocket. Might as well suck it up one more time. Hopefully the last time.
White lights contrast against the large, sunset-stained windows of the interior, and light music hums from the millwork walls every time you take a step forward, tailing your parents as a uniformed staff member leads you to a hall further inside. Your father details some information about the people you’re about to meet. Na Jaehyuck owns the hotel you are marching into and his wife owns the brand for the light pink coat you’re currently shrugging off to a server.
The three of you are led to the outside of a private booth. The doors slide open and you spot the crisply dressed pair waiting inside with a five-course meal. There is no son in sight. You prepare yourself for the countless amount of fake smiles you’re about to give.
Formalities are exchanged and dinner begins. The four converse over business and upcoming schedules, and you can’t fully digest your meal with the expectation of being soon called into the conversation by one of them. They do. Mr. Na asks where you study. You smile and reply. “NCU. I’m in my second year of Operations Management.”
“Oh!” Mrs. Na exclaims. “What a coincidence. Our son goes there as well.”
Your cheeks are already starting to hurt. “Really? Would you mind if I ask for his name? Maybe I’ve met him before.”
“You might have. Your father mentioned you being quite active in your extracurriculars, so there’s a chance that you’ve said hi to each other at an event.”
Your hope of actually knowing the guy forces down the utter embarrassment of your dad’s irreparable tendencies of mentioning you without fail. He looks too proud for you to break your despair to him. Anyhow, it would be better if you actually know their son. It would make this whole thing less grueling. If their son ends up being Na Yuyeon from your Taxation class or Na Sangmok from your major’s organization, you could just laugh it off with either of them and tell your respective meddlers (parents) that it just won’t work out.
You announce your prayers with closed lips. Please let him be someone I know, please let him be someone I know. Yet the odds are stacked against your favor.
“His name is Na Jaemin. Have you met him?
God disappoints you once more.
Even more than disappoint you. He completely screws you over. You’ve never met Na Jaemin before, but you have heard of him. Your two closest friends have talked about him, and his name has slipped in and out of the halls of your department building despite being from a different major since the day a senior named Song Junho went to class with a bruised face, broken nose, and an arm sling. His name is usually uttered in the same sentence with the phrase “biggest bastard on campus.” Your parents just set you up with NCU’s poster boy for fistfights and delinquency. You want to go home.
“Unfortunately not,” you reply, laughing it off as you reach for a glass of orange juice because even though a raw shot of tequila sounds good right now, you’ve sworn off drinking at the fears of being as loose-mouthed as your dearest dad. You glance at the empty seat beside Mrs. Na, praying that it will stay empty for the rest of the night, else the night will end with broken shards of a wine glass on the floor based on all the rumors you’ve heard of Na Jaemin. “Will he be joining us tonight?”
Your dad gives your mother a look and you hold back a gag.
The jolly smiles of Mrs. Na falter at your mention and she flashes a look of worry to her husband. She raises her wine glass to her lips. “Oh, He’ll— he’ll be here soon, I think. He hasn’t replied to my message yet, but he usually shows up. It would be such a shame if he misses the chance to meet you.”
You’re a mixture of hope and dread. Neither set of parents are subtle with their intentions for their children. It seems like this Na Jaemin has also been victimized numerous times by his parents’ scheming. They are so well meaning in the worst ways possible that you can’t even talk shit about them, so your only outlet for saltiness is Na Jaemin whom you’ve never met before, but have heard enough bad stories about to justify your mental curses. Maybe if he isn’t so much of an (alleged) asshole, then his parents might not have resorted to setting him up with an (alleged) angel like you to fix him up. You’ve heard nothing good about him, and even his parents seem to worry about him. You have enough pieces to puzzle him together as a good for nothing waste of time and energy.
This whole match-up is doomed for failure. The both of you will not work. Never. Not a chance. Not in a—
“You made it!”
The booth’s sliding door opens, revealing the prettiest man you have ever seen in your twenty-one years of life. Holy shit. Your juice almost dribbled out of your mouth.
“Jaemin, come take a seat. Oh, dear. You should have sent me a text, honey. I was worried you were too busy.”
Shit. He’s gorgeous. He’s perfect. He looks like he can murder a man with a look from his eyes and those very eyes are framed by the longest lashes you’ve ever seen. His lips are so pink and pretty that you can almost ignore the scowl they’re forming. The leather jacket framing his body sets him apart from the fancy decor, especially when he sits down exactly in front of you, making it harder for you to pry your eyes off of him. You’re hoping his parents don’t catch you thirsting over their son.
You’ve heard that he’s an asshole but you can fix him. You can change him. You can make him better. Who cares about the red flags when he’s as pretty as this? 
Na Jaemin looks at you with a nasty stare. Your stomach flips. He can tell you to screw off and you would walk home this very instant.
“This the girl you’re trying to set me up with this time?”
Your expression falters, but it’s fine because the way his voice just sounded can forgive the disrespect he just rendered for referring to you without even sparing you a greeting. It’s a raspy flavor, almost a mumble in his throat. One offense— you can take it for now. If he can behave for the next hour or so and prove the rumors wrong, you might actually grace your dad with approval that you’re going to give this a shot.
His mother lights up, giving him your name and a brief introduction.
“Hi. Nice to meet you,” you smile. Jaemin’s eyes stay on you for a good five seconds. This is dangerous. He shouldn’t be allowed to do that.
Heat swirls around your cheekbones, giddy from the prospect of your love life finally flourishing after all those failed matchups. If only Jaemin decided to shut up for the rest of the night, then maybe the heat in your cheeks wouldn’t have shot up into your head and triggered a nerve.
“She’s pretty cute,” he says, and you’re almost hopeful. “But I doubt she can handle me. I’m going. Don’t wait for me to come home.”
Your smile twitches. Oh. Oh, so he’s like that.
His mother tries to stop him, but Jaemin is already up, not caring about the collateral damage of clattering plates and glasses on the table from his careless movements. 
There’s no way you’re gonna let him leave like this after injuring your ego like that.
“What makes you think I can’t?”
Jaemin freezes, his back turned towards you but his neck slowly cranes, revealing the side profile of his face. His eyes are narrow when he looks at you. There’s a subtle quirk of his lips. He breaks into a scoff. “What makes you think that you can?”
God damn, if only he didn’t start acting up, you would be on your knees.
“I don’t know. You look pretty easy.”
Something tugs on the corners of his mouth, then he fully turns around, walking back up to the table. He plasters his hands on the tablecloth, slightly leaning forward that his head blocks the chandelier light and his shadow hovers over your face. “Free tomorrow?”
“I can make time.”
“Great.”
Jaemin leaves behind a choking, arid tension when he exits the booth. You look at your father who seems like he can’t choose between feeling horrifically alarmed or pleasantly surprised. Clearing your throat, you take another sip from your drink before resuming your meal. You’re sure you’re going to get indigestion, but you can’t think of another way to get your parents and his to move on from the events that just transpired.
Eventually, the tension was swallowed by the clatters of knives and saucers and conversations once again. The only conclusion you can come up with is that this time, their matchmaking failed successfully.
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It comes to you belatedly that Na Jaemin technically asked you out on a date— for genuine reasons or otherwise— yet you have no way to contact each other. He never asked for your number and your parents never mentioned anything about another dinner after last night’s concluded. You finish your classes for the day, coming to terms that you’re likely never going to see him again.
There’s likely no ill will between your parents and his despite your little squabble since the two parties invited each other for drinks and seemed at ease when you left. But during the ride home, they were unusually quiet. Usually, they would peg you with questions— what do you think about him? Isn’t he cute? You two would make a good match— and so on, but last night, they steered clear from the topic. You’re not sure if that’s a good or bad sign.
With your two friends in tow, you exit the lecture hall. “Are your photos of the slides complete?” Myung asks, holding onto your arm while Saehee struggles to keep all of her notes from flying out of her binder.
“I think I missed a few. Prof. Seo runs through the slides like crazy. I’ll ask him tomorrow for a copy of the presentation.”
It’s all idle conversation as you three walk down to the lobby. That is until Myung spots someone by the vending machines just as she’s about to grab an energy drink. She swears, “God damn it, what is he doing here?”
You follow her eyes and find her ex right across the lobby. “He’s not even from our department,” Saehee grunts, dragging the both of you to the back exit instead. “Maybe the fucker found a new fuck from our major. Let’s just go.”
While Saehee brushes you away, you manage to snag a quick glance at Myung’s ex again. She barely talked about him while they were dating. You and Saehee only found out about them after she dumped him for cheating. The guy’s name is Lee Jeno and this is the first time you’re seeing him in person.
“Their entire friend group is trash. I seriously should have known better before hooking up with him.” 
Hold on a second. You’re sure you’ve heard people utter Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin in the same sentence before. If they’re part of the same group, then that would make perfect sense. The dots stop connecting when Myung and Saehee decide to ask you about last night’s dinner to deter from any more ex-boyfriend talks. Your shitty dinner match-ups have always been a good source of trash talking, but how are you supposed to tell him that you’re expecting to go on a date with your friend’s ex’s alleged friend? 
“Uh,” you pause, caught in between the fresh breeze outside and the air conditioned surroundings of inside the building. “Well.”
You never get the chance to answer because Na Jaemin and his pretty face decides to show up right outside your building, and your blood runs cold.
Correction. His pretty face that isn’t wearing a helmet decides to show up when he zooms straight towards your department building on a motorcycle with a speed that you’re sure isn’t legal. Well, damn. At least you don’t have to hide anything from your friends. Slowly, you pick up your legs and start walking out the door.
“Fucker told me the business building was the one on the left,” he simmers, hopping off the the bike yells at you. “Let’s go. I’ve wasted enough time already.”
You blink at him. You’re about to add ‘stalker’ to his already trashy reputation, but remember that you told his mom last night about your major. Mrs. Na must have been delighted when he asked about you. You wonder if she’d still be as happy if she finds out her son drives around without a helmet on.
Speaking of motorcycle, his jacket is white today and it looks unforgivably good on him. You would continue staring, but his impatient scowl is already teetering on violence. You forget that your friends are still here, too. “Can you give me a moment?” you ask him.
“No. Hurry the fuck up and get on.”
Myung calls your name. You flash your two friends an apologetic smile before skipping over to Jaemin who’s already on the bike. I’ll explain later, you mouth. For now, you have an ego to protect. 
You look at Jaemin. Then to the seat he’s patting. Then back at him. “Are you seriously expecting me to get on that thing?”
Jaemin almost looks offended when you call his motorcycle a thing. It’s sleek black with some stickers pasted here and there, and you’re terrified of getting on it. Your fear seeps into your expression because the devil in front of you breaks out into a grin. A malicious one. “Thought you said you could handle me, pretty girl.”
He can’t just call you pretty girl and get away with it. He deserves to get his teeth punched out. “How do I get on?”
“You’re fucking hopeless.”
“You say fuck too much.”
“Just swing your left leg over and get on with it.” Following his vague instructions, you manage to get on the inevitable traffic hazard with only minimal struggle. You don’t get much of a warning— he only tells you to hold on tight before the engine revs and you scream and he suddenly speeds into the sunset-lit streets of your campus. This would be romantic if he isn’t trying to mimic a rollercoaster ride.
“Holy shit,” you wheeze through the startling whirs of the wind. “Holy shit, I think I’m gonna die.”
In retrospect, maybe you were a little too impulsive to challenge Na Jaemin without even settling the parameters on what exactly you could handle about him, but he was the one that challenged your pride first. The price of that is a threat to your life in the form of an impending motor accident. Your fists ball against his jacket when he makes a sharp u-turn in the main road and you let out another squeak.
“You’re gonna want to hold on a little tighter than that.”
So you do. To the point where the wrinkles on the front of his once crisp leather jacket make him look stupid, so he takes it off and throws it to his bike after he finally parks and gets off the damn thing. You wobble off right after him, and he’s well mannered enough to assist you— one hand on the small of your back, the other on your arm— but of course, not without laughing when you stumble after landing on the ground. “Good job.”
“Eat dirt.” He’s lucky he looks even better in a plain black tee. 
Once you recover from the fear and adrenaline, you notice that it’s already dark out and Jaemin has brought you to a cul-de-sac outside the district. Brightly lit street lamps and muddy green shrubs separate each large house up the road. There are other vehicles decorating outside the gate you’re currently standing in front of. It opens after Jaemin makes a call.
You didn’t expect your first date to be at some rich kid’s nasty party. You don’t even know whose house this is.
When you turn to look at Jaemin with the most unimpressed stare you can manage, he gives you a little simper, slinging an arm over your shoulder to force your inside. You’re welcomed by someone throwing up in the bush right by the gate. Jaemin laughs at your disgust. “Now I understand why your parents keep setting you up with people. You’re hopeless.”
“You can tap out anytime, pretty girl. I won’t stop you.”
Unfortunately for him, you’ve been to grosser frat parties so you aren’t leaving anytime soon. You evidence your conviction by tugging on his arm that’s languidly hanging over your left shoulder, letting your fingers rest on the bare skin of his forearm. “They probably have a pool out back, right? It’ll be less humid there.”
It catches him off guard. The rest of his features seem to be permanently sculpted into a resting bitch face, but his eyes easily give him away. They widen, furrow, then turn to stone once again— all in a split second with the subtlest difference between the frames. He clears his throat and shoves you off. “Do whatever you want. I’ll come get you later.”
“Where are you going?”
“Have to meet some people,” he answers vaguely. You narrow your eyes at him. “You can come with if you want to be objectified by my friends.”
“I’ll be by the pool. Bye,” you wave him off and start nosing around for their backyard entrance. 
There’s just as many people outside as there are inside and some you even recognize— sparing you a wave and a hi when you spot them— giving you the idea that the person hosting the party is probably from your university. Some people are shirtless, some are downright naked, and the grass is gross and damp from the unsanitary pool water that managed to escape. You settle on an empty beach chair and dump the unknown drink you stole earlier into a bush. You’re pretty sure that the things being exchanged here and there are less than legal. This might actually be a drug party.
This is stupid, you think to yourself. You can’t believe you’re wasting your evening in this shitslam of a place just because Na Jaemin spat on your ego a little. He even left you all by yourself. Of all your first dates, this one’s at the bottom of the list.
Suddenly, there’s a crash from inside the house. Then a yell. Then police sirens. Holy shit there’s a raid.
It takes a moment for you to react. There’s bodies shoving past you, the backyard getting more and more crowded and hysterical by the passing second and you have no idea where to go. Someone shouts your name. Your wrist is snatched and you’re getting dragged to the back fence. The back of Jaemin’s head is a blur as you struggle to keep up.
“Ow!”
Your back hits the chain wall. Jaemin crouches down. “Get up.” You look at him. He swears under his breath. “Hurry up and get up the damn fence unless you want to get arrested.”
The gravity of the situation only sinks in when he mentions an arrest, and a surge of panic buzzes underneath your skin. You step on his hands and you slowly gain height, grappling on the top of the fence as he helps you cross over. There are actual cops raiding the property. You fall to your ass and Jaemin lands beside you not long after. “Hope you know how to run, pretty girl. We need to go.”
You scramble to your feet before the piece of shit decides to leave you behind. The way Jaemin and some other runaways expertly maneuver through a patch of trees to get back into the main road makes you think that it isn’t the first time this happened. It’s a little heartwarming when Jaemin glances back at you from time to time. You’d blush if your lungs weren’t burning. Too bad he suddenly decides to throw you into an alleyway and your back hits the disgusting concrete lining.
“Hey—”
“Quiet,” he hisses, pressing his palm over your lips and looks out into the street. “Shut the fuck if you don’t want to get caught.”
There’s still the slight hum of sirens from a distance. It bothers you. It bothers you a lot. It bothers you that he looks even prettier under the molten silver light from the moonlit night sky. It bothers you that adrenaline and a little something else are fighting over which one gets to control your heart rate. It bothers you that your lips suddenly feel cold when he removes his hand when things become dead quiet— all but that thumping and ringing in your ears.
Shit. He’s perfect until he says something. His stern gaze is frozen on you, your eyes falling down to meet his tightly shut lips. You’d kiss him if he stays still for the next ten seconds. No, even five would do.
“I gotta piss.”
And there goes your infatuation. Into the garbage bin that’s less than two feet away from you. Jaemin notices that you’re staring at him as if he belongs in there. He’s unrecyclable trash. “What?” he raises a brow. “Wanna stay and watch?”
“What the hell? You’re gross and disgusting and a freaking psycho.”
He only laughs. You grimace. The bastard just suggested that you watch him take a piss and he’s laughing. Immediately, you eject yourself from the alley. Much to your relief, he doesn’t do his business in the dark and instead follows after you outside a few moments later and heads to the nearest diner in the street. 
When he returns, he’s a little surprised to see you waiting in the same spot, tapping on your phone as you lean against a light post. “What?” you ask upon his arrival. “You’re my ride home, you creep.” You could always take a taxi, but one— you don’t exactly feel safe riding a cab alone at this time of night, and two— you’re not going to give him any ideas that you were trying to run away.
Jaemin spares you a glance. You give him a questioning look. “The cops probably took my bike already.”
“You’re useless.”
“You’ve gotten pretty mouthy in less than a fucking day,” he snorts, digging his hands into his pockets before deciding to brush past you. “Wonder what else your mouth is good at.”
At this point, you’re not sure if he’s serious or just fucking with you to prove that he’s too much for you. He is. He’s way too much and you can’t decide if you want to make out with him or kick him in the balls.
So you decide to get even.
“Hey, Jaemin!” you jog up to him, going as far as to block his way when he doesn’t stop for you. He only gives you a blank, half-lidded stare. “It’s my turn tomorrow. Meet me at the park at 8 a.m. or I’ll consider you a pussy. Oh yeah, and give me your number.”
“The fuck?”
“I said I could handle you,” you grin, lifting your phone up and giving it a little shake. “I did pretty well today, dontcha think?”
“Get to the point.”
“I mean, maybe you’re not up for the same challenge?”
Before you could blink, your phone is snatched from your hands. You think your phone screen might break with how aggressively he types in his number. You try not to smile too widely because you might look like too much of a maniac. “You’re pretty funny, you know that?” he tosses back your phone. “Just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, pretty girl.”
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When you call Jaemin at 8:04 a.m. asking where he is, he very kindly curses into your ear through the speaker, telling you to “piss off and let me fucking sleep, god fucking damn it,” before ending the call. You have to admit, it had you tempted to call him again— his voice in the early hours of the morning does wonders to the soul, and it nearly forgave him for swearing at you this time. But that would risk him not showing him up at all and that would put your itinerary to a waste. You wait at the park for another hour before he shows up in a matching pair of sweats. He looks like he’s just about to get into a gang fight instead of a date when he approaches you.
“You better have a good fucking reason for calling me out this early.”
“It’s nine-thirty.”
“I didn’t ask for the time.”
“You just wasted a good hour for us to study. Hurry up, let’s go to the library.”
No, you’re not trying to “fix” Na Jaemin by making him do good things. You’re not his therapist. You’re trying to put him through the same shit he did to you last night. Hope he enjoys behaving in the library for four hours. If he leaves before you let him, you’re never going to let him forget how much of a loser he is for not being able to handle an innocent library date.
It’s ten o’clock when Jaemin’s fuse starts to ignite. You even made sure to sit near the children’s section as another control mechanism to prevent him from doing or saying heinous shit, but you’re not sure how effective it is because his resting bitch face is scaring all the children.
“What are you thinking about, Jaemin?” you lazily ask, switching to the next page of your textbook. Attitude is important when negotiating with clients, you mentally read, running your bright neon highlighter on the word ‘attitude.’
“Thinking about how much you’re wasting my fucking time.”
You click your tongue. He seriously needs to work on his manners. “You act like you’re hot shit but can’t even study for an hour. What a fucking loser.”
That was a gamble. Sure, you’ve yelled at him and called him names before, but you’re not sure how well he’d take you actually swearing at him, but you want to push as many buttons as you can. You flinch when you look up from your textbook. He looks like he’s seconds away from punching you in the nose with how intense his eyes are staring you down. You take a hard swallow, nervously pressing your lips together as you slowly return to your notes to avoid his terrifying gaze. When you click the butt of your pen to jot down some notes, he snatches your pad and a ripping sound breaks your shock. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with him?
You’re about to swear at him for real this time, but your notepad is tossed back at you in less than a moment. Jaemin is grumbling curses as he rummages through your pencil case. “What’s the point of all your money if you can’t buy another pen that works?” You’re supposed to be the one mad at him, why is he scolding you?
Like your notepad, Jaemin tosses back your pencil case after he finds a working mechanical pencil. There’s now a mess on the table but he seems unbothered when he places his phone next to the sheet of paper he stole from you, tapping on the screen before he starts scribbling things down.
“What are you doing?” you snatch a glance at his paper. You can’t read his writing upside down.
“What else would I be doing at a goddamned library?”
Holy crap, it worked. “What’s your major?” you ask, scooting your chair a little closer to the table in a tangible burst of excitement from your success.
“Applied math,” he replies blandly. 
The next thirty minutes remain quiet, save for the occasional grunts and grumbles from your study partner as he continues writing, until he asks you for another sheet of paper. Jesus. Oh no. He instantly became hotter. Jaemin’s posture is laid back as he goes through what you assume are math problems, wrist flicking at the stroke of the pen with ease. His eyes are steady on the table, expression more relaxed. Mrs. Na would be sending wedding invitations if she sees how you managed to tame her son. You’re getting distracted from your own work and Jaemin notices.
“The hell are you staring at?”
“You’re prettier with your mouth shut.”
The words leave your lips without thinking and you’re doomed to suffer from the consequences of your thoughtless actions in the very next moment.
Jaemin gives you a flat look. Your heart races. Oh no. The next moment he opens his mouth, you’re horrified. He utters the most heinous, most obscene combination of words you’ve ever heard and your brain can’t even process it to repeat it. He breaks into a victorious grin which shouldn’t be so god damned attractive after scarring your ears. You want to punch him in the jaw but you’re already being ushered out of the library. You forgot that you were sitting by the kid’s section and the bastard’s nasty, disgusting mouth was a little too loud.
Now, the both of you are standing in front of the library right after getting kicked out.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” you jab your index finger to his chest, evidently bewildered. “No, seriously. What the fuck? Are you insane?”
He only replies with a smug look. You really want to punch him. “My library membership could’ve been revoked, you little shit. This is the only good place to study near uni! You’re lucky they let us off with a warning.” Jaemin clearly doesn’t give a damn. He even looks like he’s enjoying your outburst. You let out an exasperated groan.
“Suck it up, pretty girl. You should have seen it coming when you said that.” He’s in a better mood than earlier this morning and it pisses you off even more. Your bitterness is probably seeping into our expression because Jaemin laughs when he glances down at you. He stretches your frown by giving you a pinch on the cheek. “Is that all you have in store? Are you done for today?”
You smack his hand off, shooting him a glare. You’re far from done. You’re going to give the devil hell.
“Let’s have lunch first,” you offer. Jaemin shrugs and follows your lead as you walk downtown. For a pissy rich boy, he doesn’t throw a fit when you mention a hole-in-the-wall pho restaurant by the intersection, but that’s fine. You have other plans for him. The opportunity to conduct it presents itself as you’re both walking down the sidewalk on the way to the restaurant, and your eyes gloss over to his left hand— the hand nearest to you— slightly swinging back and forth in tune with his large strides. Slowly, you reach down to grab his hand. The moment your thumb brushes against the warmth of his skin, he snatches it back. Abruptly.
You look at him, shocked. Jaemin tries to give you his signature look of contempt but miserably fails because his ears are pink and he’s clutching his fist to his chest as if it just barely survived from getting amputated. He must have noticed how weird he reacted, so he clears his throat and drops his hand back down. “Now, where the fuck is this sketchy pho place?”
Oh my god. You just discovered his weakness. This is a bonus.
“Across the street and we make a right,” you reply, making sure your unreasonable excitement isn’t too obvious.
Jaemin is evidently suspicious. You make it to the restaurant, receive your orders, and start eating without a hitch and all throughout Jaemin has been stealing narrow-eyed glances at you. Your chopsticks innocently clatter against the bowl as you finish your meal. When Jaemin finally lowers his guard, you tap a finger on the back of his hand and he pulls back, a little less panicked this time and he sends you a semi-confused glare. For someone who suggested that you watch him piss, he sure has the gall to act scandalized when you’re just innocently trying to hold his hand. 
“Calm down, pretty boy. I’m not trying to make a move on you. I just want to check something.”
You don’t give him the opportunity to retreat this time when you snatch his hand from the table. Your thumb traces over his fingertips, slowly following the crescents of his nails. Jaemin’s ears are pink again when you look at him. “You need a manicure,” you declare. He pries himself off and gets up.
“Hey, wait up!” 
Your shirt catches on the seat so you stumble, a loud noise following your quick response to chase after him, which inadvertently causes Jaemin to turn around and gives you an opportunity to catch up to him. “I already booked a nail appointment while we were waiting for the food,” you announce, latching onto his arm so he doesn’t run off. He doesn’t look too happy when you snatch a glance of his face. You give him a bright smile. “You don’t have your bike with you, right? That’s fine. The mall is just a few blocks away.”
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Just yesterday, you were so inclined to believe all the rumors surrounding Na Jaemin about his shitty personality and violent tendencies. The first one, there is no doubt. His personality and foul mouth can’t even be compared to the toilet seat of a dingy bar, but the second part seems a bit far-fetched— especially when you’re watching as his ring finger gets drawn with a cat head silhouette in white against the matching black paint of the rest of his nails. 
“Wow. That looks like you.”
“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up?”
When he sat down in front of the nail tech after your turn, he got complimented that his nails were pretty well maintained. He shot you a nasty look after that. Maybe you did lie about his nails needing fixing just to get him less fussy about your suggestion, but hey, it worked. You’re cooing at the silver glitter on his middle finger next. His knuckles twitch. When his nails finish curing, he grabs you by the arm and drags you to the counter, pays, and continues dragging you out the nail shop and into the mall lobby,
Jaemin has his nose scrunched. “Any longer I thought I would’ve gotten high off acetone. How do you stand that shit?”
“By imagining how pretty my nails would be after the session.” You flash the back of your hand, showing off your new french tips. He only rolls his eyes and starts heading to a direction— the exit, presumably— and you trail after him. “Are you sulking that I’m not complimenting your manicure? Your nails are really cute. They suit you very well. I wonder who picked the design.”
Na Jaemin really isn’t all that bad if you can get past his resting bitch face and colorful choice of words. He doesn’t complain when you stop by half a dozen kiosks because of the cute accessories that catch your eye. He even helps you choose a new barrette by saying “that one looks fucking ugly,” right in front of the store owner. You decide that’s enough shopping for today and start heading out, but upon seeing the Gong Cha stall right by the doors, your cravings got the best of you.
“Taro smoothie. 100% sugar. I’ll wait outside. I need a fucking smoke.”
See, he can’t be that bad when he drinks raw sugar through a straw. He takes the paper bag that housed the barrette you bought and disappears outside. Maybe it’s not the most ideal time to reconsider your opinion of Jaemin while you’re waiting for your orders, but at this point you’re really questioning the merit of the severe rumors weighed against him. Then again, you did believe those rumors upon first impression, so you aren’t any better. If only he tries to care a little more about his reputation, but from the limited time you’ve spent with him, you’re sure he gives less than damn about whatever people are saying about him.
Jaemin walks in one, straight line and only makes way for others when he wants to. The plastic bag of his taro smoothie and your drink adds weight to you. You stop trying to figure him out and start looking for him instead. He says he’ll be waiting outside but he’s nowhere in your line of sight when you step out the mall. Then it dawns on you.
He just ditched you. You give him a call and the line ends without an answer. Your mood sinks along with the sun, slowly setting from a pale orange to a rich blue violet. In other words, you feel like crap.
This is enough second guessing. All those rumors are true— he’s a fucking dick. It shouldn’t be all that surprising considering he swears at you every time he opens his mouth and he’s friends with the bastard that cheated on Myung. You don’t even know why you questioned it all in the first place. 
You’re livid. You stomp to the edge of the mall right by the parking lot, his sugar injected smoothie in hand, and the sky mellows darker. The lights lining the side of the large building light up. The cup threatens to explode from your grip.
When you reach the garbage bins, the drink slips from your hand. It doesn’t fall into the bin; it prematurely splatters against the concrete, a light purple sludge melting into the floor accompanied by gasp stifling from your throat.
There’s a fist fight in the parking lot.
There was a fist fight. Three bodies are already passed out and purple on the dirty freaking ground.
C—rack!
There are still two more people in the lot, but you can tell that the fight is already over. It’s a one-sided assault ending with Jaemin’s fist colliding against the limp individual’s nose with a sound that makes you wince. Holy shit, this is brutal.
“That it? Pussy ass bitch, couldn’t even take three punches. Hah.”
Jaemin releases his balled fist on the guy’s collar and drops him to the ground. He staggers, nearly stumbling down himself, but his back hits a nearby car and he slides down to the floor with a heavy wheeze. It’s only now that Jaemin notices your presence. There’s a manic shift in his gaze when he meets your eyes. “Shit, why are you—”
The aftermath of his fight drags him back down to the dusty concrete when he tries to pull himself up. You walk to him, crouching down when you reach him, and feel a lump in your throat when you finally take a good look at him. There’s a bruise under his left eye, more on his jaw and, matched with a gash on his forehead and a split lip that was still modeled into an intimidating grimace even when just got the shit beaten out of him. You click your tongue in disappointment.
“Your face is the only thing you’ve got going for you, but you can’t even take care of it.” He breathes out a swear when your fingers squeeze his cheeks to check if he had any more injuries. You’re sure there’s more under his clothes, but that would toe the line of propriety. Jaemin winces. You feel a pang inside your ribcage. “Get up, troublemaker. Let’s get you fixed up.”
He releases a groan when you help him up, and it takes you a moment to adjust to his weight. There’s no way that the security guards will let you back into the mall with a battered man in tow, so you ask him if he doesn’t mind walking to the nearest 7-Eleven. His reply is a mere grunt so you take it as a yes. 
Jaemin is leaned against you, arm over your shoulder which you hold in place, fixing your other hand around his waist as you begin your arduous journey to the damned convenience store before any passerby walks in on the incriminating scene you two leave behind. Your senses are attacked by a mix of cigarette smoke and sweat with a twinge of blood and oddly enough, it doesn’t make you gag. 
It’s a five minute walk. You drop him on one of the empty tables in front of the store before entering to pick up a water bottle, some bandages, disinfectant, towels, ointments, and a bag of peas. The last one, you throw at him when you get back out. “So,” you pull out the chair next to him and plop down with crossed arms. “What happened?”
Jaemin silently wraps a towel around the cold bag and presses it on his jaw. You jerk your foot, kicking him in the knee. There’s a sharp hiss and he drops the sad, damp, lumpy towel on his lap. “What the fuck?”
“How the hell did you manage to get into a bloody fight while I was ordering milk tea?!” you snapped. “Did they insult you? Did they make fun of your nails? Were they picking a fight because your nails are cuter than—”
“They looked at me.”
You blink. 
“I’m sorry?”
“Fuckers were looking at me for too long and it pissed me off,” he sneered. He’s already recovered the bag of peas and he has it fixed on the right side of his face. “Acted like hot shit when they couldn’t get in enough hits to make my nose bl— fuck you!”
“Shut your mouth for a sec.” You decide his swelling has gone down enough so you push his hand away and roughly pull his face closer by the jaw. He’s actually insane. Even more insane than the rumors painted him to be. 
You wet the towel with the water you bought, using the damp cloth to wipe away the dried up blood splotching areas of his face. You don’t understand how he’s still attractive even with a busted lip and an almost black eye. In fact, it even adds to his whole ‘don’t fucking talk to me’ vibe. This shouldn’t be legal. “Do you usually start swinging every time someone looks at you the wrong way?”
He scoffs. “They’re asking for it.”
“What about me?”
You let go of his face and take the ointment from the pile, squeezing a dollop on your finger and scooting your chair closer towards him. “I stared you down the first time we met,” you say. The cut on his forehead isn’t too big, but you think it still needs a band-aid. “Why didn’t you beat the lights out of me then?”
It’s hard not to notice the intensity of Jaemin’s stare when you apply the ointment on his cut. It feels like he’s burning through you. You swallow, noticing how much of his space you’ve invaded, so you pull back but are preemptively stopped when you catch his gaze. There’s a heavy thump in your chest. You feel the warmth of his fingers curling around your wrist, prompting you to notice that your other hand has been firm on his shoulder from when you were putting on the medicine. 
“Because,” he starts. “You’re a lot prettier when you look at me like you want to kick my ass.”
You continue to stare at him, lips pressed into a thin line. He breathes out a grin.
“You’re a fucked up little bastard, you know that?”
“Even more pretty when you talk shit.”
“I think you have a concussion.” You finally bring yourself to move away, ignoring the heat on your cheek bones as you clumsily dig into the pile of first aid to fish out a band-aid. Holy shit, you muffle out a breath. This is too much. This is out of line. He’s not trying to one-up you anymore. He’s trying to kill you.
“You’re crap at this,” he points out while you’re struggling to keep your hand from shaking too much because you still have to apply ointment on his busted freaking lip. Why did he have to get hit there? Why are your fingers twitching every time you feel his hot breath on your fingertips?
“Well, I’m sorry for never getting into a fist fight before,” you huff. “If you’re such an expert, then do it yourself.”
You shouldn’t have said that. You really shouldn’t have because Jaemin grabs your hand as if he hadn’t been avoiding yours since earlier, firmly positioned, and then you feel his plush lips against your two pressed fingers, a warm jolt pooling into thin skin as your fingers glide along the cut.
It’s been two days since you’ve met him and he’s already driving you insane. You squeak and pull back your hand in a flurry. There’s a layer of white glaze covering the deep red slit on his lips. Jaemin gives you a wide grin for the first time and he breaks into a short laugh— just when you think he couldn’t drive you over the edge any further.
But you can’t admit any of your inner turmoil out loud, else you’d be admitting defeat. You decide that you’ve finally reached your quota of weird hand holding for the day, but you regrettably manage to catch a glimpse of his knuckles, painted with red blotches and purpling edges. “You’re hopeless.”
“I didn’t notice,” he admits, and you clean the small wounds on his hands just as you did with his face, tracing over his vein lines and the contours of his skeleton while plastering bandages wherever you see fit, which earns you another insult about your shitty first-aid skills. 
His newly painted nails have some dried blood on them. Gross.
“Is it my turn tomorrow?”
To be honest, you haven’t been expecting a third date. It’s either Jaemin is that determined to have you admitting he’s something you can’t handle, or you’ve managed to get under his skin just as much as he has with you.
“Yeah,” you reply. Whatever the reason is— it doesn’t matter as long as you have the excuse to keep seeing him. “It’s your turn. Better prepare something worth my while, pretty boy.”
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Jaemin’s turn doesn’t come until Friday because you completely forgot that you still have to review for an exam on Monday. When you texted him about it, he didn’t seem pissy. Good thing because you were going to remind him that it’s his fault anyway for getting you kicked out of the library. He sent a semi-threatening message to make sure that you’ll free yourself on Friday evening, followed by ‘good luck on the quiz, pretty girl,’ which is just fantastic. You’ve been given mixed signals before but he’s on a completely different level.
Walking to your classroom for Intermediate Algebra leads you to the precipice of guilt knowing that you still are yet to talk to Myung and Saehee about Jaemin. You intentionally arrive early to get some last minute review sprints in, as well as to figure out how you should apologize to Myung for getting involved with her cheating ex’s close friend.
“That’s not what I’m upset about. Hell, I’m not even upset at all about that. Honey, you’ve heard that Na Jaemin is a piece of shit, why the heck are you going out with him?”
“He’s not that bad!” you defend, but quickly backtrack. “Well. Not entirely. And he’s the one my parents are trying to set me up with. I’ve known him for less than a week and it isn’t that serious so you don’t have to worry. I’m breaking it off soon.”
“You usually call quits the day after, though?” Saehee questions. “Why are you still meeting him at the end of the week?”
“To prove a point.” You know full well that that’s not entirely true anymore, but your friends would never understand why you’re attracted to an asshole such as him, anyway (neither did you), so you decide to spare them the headache.
Myung and Saehee look at each other, knowing full well that you’re way too stubborn and prideful for your own good. They cut the interrogation short, just before your professor enters. “Please give us a call or text immediately if you think he’s taking you somewhere sketchy. I just can’t trust the guy,” they tell you. You neither call nor text when Friday comes and Jaemin takes you on his motorcycle to another seemingly illegal venue. You’re starting to become convinced that his ideas for dates are synonymous to potential police chases.
“I thought your bike got confiscated last week,” you ask, hopping off of the vehicle with his assistance. Your voice is muffled by the helmet he threw on your head. You struggle to get it off.
“Got a new one.” He takes the helmet off for you, mindlessly tugging on the areas where your hair got winded up, trying to untangle them. “You like it?”
“I honestly can’t tell the difference.”
Jaemin pats your head to commemorate his handiwork and it’s honestly the gentlest he’s ever been with you, but you can’t even appreciate it because you’re parked at the edge of dingy freeway in the middle of nowhere and there’s not enough streetlights to see beyond twelve feet away into the road. “Good, because you’ll be seeing me riding a different bad boy tonight.”
“What?”
The quiet of the night is interrupted by the sound of a car slowly entering the parameters, its headlights bringing in another source of light into the dark field. You’re not sure if the vehicle is actually heading towards you two, but its windows suddenly roll down when it draws nearer, and a head emerges from the passenger seat. “Get in, dipshit!” the ashy mop of hair yells. Jaemin shoots up a middle finger. 
Your hair flutters when the car makes an abrupt stop before the both of you. There’s a click and the passenger seat flings open. “You didn’t say anything about bringing a plus one, you bitch.”
“Shut the fuck and help me load this thing in the back.”
“What the hell? Jaemin, what is this?” 
“A ride,” he simply replies. You look at him incredulously as he and the other guy throw his motorcycle in the back of the pickup truck.
“What’s the point when you already have a bike?”
Jaemin finds his spot next to you again, only to nudge you towards the vehicle. “Can’t have you all out in the open when we arrive. You obviously look out of place and that’s just painting a fucking target on your back,” he points his chin to the now open door, signaling you to get in. 
He keeps the door open. There’s a blank look on his face, but your eyebrows are still knitted in from the lack of understanding. The dots are refusing to connect. “At least tell me where we’re going?”
“Wherever it is, I’m sure you can handle it, pretty girl.” You flinch a little when he leans forward. “Can’t you?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” You jump even harder when someone shoves past you and the look on Jaemin’s face suddenly drops into a scowl. “Continue flirting or fucking or whatever inside the car. It’s fucking cold out, jeez.”
“Fuck off,” Jaemin spits, and roughly pushes you into the car. Good god, you’re not sure if you’re gonna make it the entire night. When Jaemin gets in, he gives the passenger seat a hard kick and you’re sure he just broke something. You look at him, wide-eyed. He just laughs when his friend(?) reacts with a loud curse.
“If you’re gonna fight, do it outside.” You hear the one on the driver’s seat speak for the first time and with his announcement, he starts the car without warning. You catch a glimpse of some of his features from the rear view mirror, and you feel the rest of your organs sinking into your stomach when you realize just whose car you’re in right now. 
“Aren’t you the piece of shit that cheated on Myung?”
You feel all three of their eyes on you, and you catch Lee Jeno’s through the same mirror. “Oh, you know her?”
“She’s my friend, asshole.”
“So, what? Want me to apologize?” His tone is mocking you. If the previous events weren’t enough to piss you off, then this is the mark that sets you off. Jaemin inspired you. You kick the driver’s seat. The car suddenly swerves a little too dangerously close to the edge of the road.
“Fuck!”
“Holy shit, man. Your girl is nuts,” passenger seat breathes out after Jeno recovers back to safety. He turns around to face you. “I’m Haechan. You three already seem to know each other so I’m feeling a little left out.”
“I’d say it’s nice to meet you but I’m kind of in a shitty mood right now to lie.”
“Wow. So charming. No wonder Jaemin’s cucked.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Another kick from Jaemin sets off Jeno’s driving again, and little did you know that this isn’t the most dangerous vehicular situation you’ll be witnessing tonight. The ride is short, and it’s filled by Haechan’s one-sided chatter until you reach what you think is your destination. 
Jeno stops at a place that looks no different from where you came from, except for the large crowd that’s gathering on the road that he would have run over had they not given way (read: scrambled and ran) to give him space to park. You’re convinced that you’re inside a car with less than normal people, but you’re not one to talk when you’re in here with them.
They exit the vehicle without waiting for you, so you quickly follow after them into the tight crowd. You tug on Jaemin’s sleeve when you manage to catch up. He pulls his arm away only to retrieve your arm without looking back, bulldozing into the epicenter of bodies with you in tow. “Will you finally explain what’s going on?” you ask with shallow breaths after you’ve finally emerged from the crowd.
“It’s street racing, baby!” Haechan butts in, and your eyes follow him as he moves further into the middle of the crowd. You finally find out what they’re all looking at. A line of eight multicolored motorcycles are stationed in front of a makeshift starting line. All of the bikes either already have a driver on them, or have someone tinkering with the vehicle. “My money’s on your boyfriend. Give him a kiss good luck so I can get my money’s worth.”
Your eyes frantically snap at Jaemin. He’s already left your side, walking up to the guy with the purple motorcycle and they talk a bit. You run after him fast enough to catch a glimpse of their conversation. The other guy told him that he was a piece of shit for demanding upgrades last minute. He leaves after Jaemin gives him a hard pat on the back. You lock eyes with him when you intersect.
“Why do you have so many bikes?” He gives you a grin. You’re unimpressed.
“They all serve different purposes, pretty girl. S’not like I can take you around with this monster.” You look at the ‘monster,’ and it definitely looks different from the one that he left at the police raid and the one in the back of Jeno’s car. You’re not an expert on vehicle breeds, so you don’t bother to understand what he means, but you know one thing for certain.
“Isn’t that, kind of like, dangerous?”
The corner of his lip twitches. He leans down a little and asks, “Scared I’ll get hurt?” 
“No, I’m just worried you’ll fuck up your face again.”
“Is my face the only reason you’re sticking around me?”
“Stay alive to find out,” you jab your finger into his forehead. “If you finish without a scratch, I might just give you an extra turn.”
Jaemin grabs your wrist and pulls it down, but doesn’t let go. Instead, he used it to jerk you forward. You stumble into his chest and he looks down at you with an annoyingly attractive smile. “Looking forward to it, pretty girl.” 
You thought he was hot even when he wore a permanent constipated expression on his face, but this opened you to a whole new world. You can feel your balance slipping away. Your knees are jelly. He takes advantage of that and pushes you back with ease, a firm grip on both of your shoulders until he signals Haechan to take you away unless you want to get run over. 
“Stop eye fucking him, it’s gross.” 
You ignore him. Your attention is pulled, lured into a single subject. Jaemin’s on the bike now, his hands positioned on the handles. There’s so much noise rupturing around you and the smell of oil and attacks the other end of your senses. Your eyes can’t even catch up to the scene. There’s a bang and you cough with your eyes stinging from the burst of smoke. The cheers scream louder. When you regain your vision, he’s already gone.
“Alright, time to go back, princess. You can wait for him in the car.”
“That’s it? Can’t you like, actually watch them?”
“Babe, you think this whole jig has cameras set up around? There’s a bunch of people watching at different spots of the circuit. If you’re lucky, someone might snag a picture or tweet that two guys crashed into each other and exploded.”
You wince. The only benchmark you have on Jaemin’s driving skills are two separate occasions with one feeling like a horizontal gyro drop and earlier— which wasn’t any better. The fear that suddenly shoots into your bloodstream brings you to a halt. 
“Relax. Jaem’s been doing this for a couple of months now and he hasn’t died yet.”
“Do you guys come here often?” you ask. The both of you arrive at Jeno’s pick-up. He’s leaned against the vehicle and busy on his phone, and seeing his face suddenly melts your anxieties away, replacing it with annoyance. He takes your hostility pretty well and retreats into his car.
“Once or twice a month,” Haechan replies, helping you into the cargo bed. There’s very little space with Jaemin’s other bike squeezed in along with an ice box in the corner, so he decides to sit on the ledge. “Last time there was a raid so operations had to stop for a while. That’s why there’s more people than usual today.”
From congregating in the middle of the road, the audience is now scattered all over the venue, clustered into their own groups while waiting for the racers to make their way back. Some ran after the bikes, thinking they could keep up with the illegal modified vehicles’ speed. It’s dim— just barely a few street bulbs on and some fairy lights hung strewn around a couple other cars in the field. You catch a familiar face in the crowd— the guy Jaemin was talking to earlier about his new bike— and you notice that he’s actually walking up to you. You blink when he crosses his arms over the cargo ledge, looking up at you.
“Were you the one who got Jaemin to paint his nails?”
“Uh, yes?”
He gives you a thumbs up. “Respect.”
You’re not sure what just happened. Haechan slips into the conversation, swiftly throwing an arm over your shoulder and both your cheeks are squished together. You squint your eyes at him. He greets the other guy with a volume that causes you to wince. “Let me introduce you to each other. This is Renjun. Renjun, this is…?”
You tell them your name, not even the slightest bit surprised that Jaemin hasn’t mentioned it to them. Or maybe he has and they just don’t care enough to remember. Both seem equally plausible. Your attention returns to Renjun. He gives you a wave of acknowledgement before proceeding to tell Haechan that if he doesn’t turn in his part for their project by midnight, he’ll get his name removed. “Oh, come on. Cut me some slack, Junnie. You’re acting like we haven’t been through shit together.”
“You’re the one who keeps putting me through shit, Haechan,” Renjun deadpans. “Anyway, nice to meet you. If you know what’s good for you, you should dump Jaemin by tonight. See you around.”
Renjun disappears into the crowd after giving you his friendly advice. You already know that most people wouldn’t approve of your involvement with Jaemin, but you never expected his friend to say the same thing to you. It leaves a bitter taste on your tongue, but of course it’s not going to deter you. In fact, it just makes you all the more determined to make things work with Jaemin— not caring if that’s a good idea or a terrible one.
You turn to Haechan. He’s digging into the cooler and pulls out a can of cheap beer. “How long have you guys been friends?” you ask him. The drink doesn’t reach his lips.
“Gross. Ew. That’s disgusting, don’t ever ask me that again,” he grimaces. “But I’ve known your boyfriend since we were in primary school.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Yeah, and you’re not waiting for his sweaty ass to cross the finish line so you can have a celebratory makeout session. Hey, turn off the glare. Loosen up and have a drink.”
Haechan tosses you another can from the box. You stare at the beverage, ice cold in your hands. You made a vow. You said you’ll never drink again, but from the hour you’ve met Haechan, you’re sure he’s gonna make fun of you for not drinking and he’s gonna rat out your ass to Jaemin. If you have to make a decision, you’ll choose preserving your pride over anything. One can and that’s it.
The burning sensation in your throat feels foreign and you bite back a grimace. You should have known a year of abstinence was gonna hit hard.
“Was Jaemin any different when you were kids?”
“You asking if he’s always been an asshole?” Haechan raises a brow. “Fucker framed me for breaking the vase at Jeno’s place when we were like ten and tried to push me down the stairs as a joke. He stirs up shit all the time but makes sure to hide his dirt from his parents. But the one thing he can’t hide is his personality. So, yes. He’s always been a dick.”
You snort at the thought of tiny Jaemin being the devil incarnate, mindlessly taking another sip of beer. If he’s always been the same, you wonder if it’s already impossible for him to outgrow his nasty tendencies. “Does he also really get provoked when people look at him for too long?” you throw another question. Haechan doesn’t seem to mind.
“Ever seen me looking directly at him the entire night?” he replies. “He’s crazy. Not even Jeno can look him in the eye for more than five seconds before he starts sweating. I’ve already spread rumors around uni that looking at him is like deliberately walking in front of a speeding train, but people take it as an invitation to test it. Take Junho hyung, for example. He got out with a broken nose and fractured arm.”
So that’s what happened. Jaemin definitely isn’t guilt free but your senior practically walked into the bear cage voluntarily. You’re learning new things about him when he’s not even here. You make a mental note to treat Haechan to lunch out sometime.
“Jaemin’s straightforward and simple. He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and doesn’t bend for anyone. But you don’t seem bothered by his attitude. Maybe because he’s nicer to you.”
“He’s brought me to two dates and so far both have been illegal.”
“That’s romance for you, baby,” he shoots you a wink with matching finger guns. You roll your eyes, feeling the alcohol starting to settle in your system and you’re sure you’re starting to get tipsy. Your tolerance has been completely trashed and this should have been a sign to stop drinking, but Haechan tosses you another can when he notices that yours is now empty.
With alcohol in the mix, your head is starting to go to different places. Haechan says that Jaemin doesn’t bend for anyone. It’s true for the most part, but he showed up at the park when you asked him to and even agreed to get his nails done. The amount of times you’ve looked him straight in the eye should be equivalent to at least two dozen beatings, but all he’s ever done is lightly shove you around and press your fingers to his lips like a jackass.
Your eyes widen. It’s past ten o’clock but you can feel the heat of the sun on your face.
Shit. What if he likes you?
“Oh, fuck. Hey. You’re gonna want to see this.”
Haechan had been on his phone the entire time you were doing mental gymnastics and flashes you the screen. It’s a blurry video. It’s a blurry video of Jaemin overtaking two guys at once and you can feel the violent tantrum inside your chest barrelling even louder, rougher, when the camera finally focuses and you can see the clear cut of his silhouette before he disappears again in a flash. Your head instinctively follows his phone when he snatches it back, and your cheek bumps into his shoulder.
Haechan cackles. “Can’t believe you’re hammered already.” You shoot him a glare and finish your second can, quickly moving on to the third. Your head fuzzes even more by the second, and as you feel the burn of cheap beer in your throat, your mind starts to wander again.
You can’t think of any other reason why he’d be making exceptions. It’s either he likes you or is shifting his attitude to get you to admit that he is too much for you to handle, but that’s sort of a reach, right? You’ve made a decision. Yes. You’re going to ask him once he’s done with the race. There’s a sudden stampede towards the street and the slow build-up of pandemonium meaning that they’re almost here. 
You stumble when you try to stand up, and your throat starts to dry up like sand. You push off Haechan who tries to help you up, but everyone is already running to watch them by the finish line and you don’t want to be a second late. The thought of seeing his face after the conclusion you’ve just made makes your head spin.
But you don’t get to see him race past the finish line. By the end of your third drink, you black out.
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Regret comes crashing in the form of blinding lights through an uncurtained window. You wince at the sharp attack on your senses, making the dull throbbing in your head feel even worse, so you sink further under the covers to block the light.
Wait. Covers?
“Morning, pretty girl.”
You jolt up and almost immediately regret it. If your headache isn’t enough to kill you, then your embarrassment will. You grace Jaemin with a horrified look. He’s by the doorframe, arms crossed and blankly staring. It hits you that this isn't your room. It hits you the second time that these aren’t your clothes.
“Did— did something happen between us?”
He doesn’t reply immediately. Jaemin takes a moment to enjoy the look of panic in your face and manages a short, quiet laugh before walking towards the bed. He settles on the right side of the mattress, covering the light leaking through the window glass and leans forward. His arm serves as a barricade, preventing you from bouncing up and running away in nervousness. The throbbing in your head is deafened by your heartbeat. 
“If you consider you puking your guts out all over me last night as ‘something happening,’ then, yeah. A lot happened. Good to see you’re still alive.”
You wait for him to take it back and say he’s kidding, but he doesn’t. Your face pales. You shouldn’t have drank. You really shouldn’t have and now you’re reaping the consequences of internalized pressure and pride. You want to bury yourself alive but you can’t throw out all of your dignity just yet. You’re going to pathetically hold onto it until the very end,
“Don’t give me that look. Jeno called your friend when we got to the apartment and she helped me clean you up. She’s the one that gave you a shower and changed your clothes. Don’t jump to conclusions.”
On second thought, you’re actually ruined now. You curl into the bedsheets. You indirectly caused Myung to talk to her shitty ex-boyfriend again to mop up your messy ass because you were with a guy she didn’t approve of. This warrants more than an apology. You should get on your knees and beg her to take you back in as a friend
“I’m a terrible person and I don’t deserve to live.”
“Stop fucking whining and drink some water.” You’re not sure how long the glass of water on his bedside table has been waiting, but he picks it up and shoves it to your face until your nearly dead limbs take it from him. “Haechan told me you passed out after three cans. You should’ve told me you couldn’t drink for shit.”
“I haven’t had any alcohol for over a year,” you shoot him a glare before bringing the glass to your lips.   
“Are you allergic or something?”
“No. Just parental trauma.” Jaemin gives you a look. You immediately clarify. “It’s not like that. My dad has a really embarrassing drinking habit and I vowed to stop drinking because I didn’t want to end up like him. Turns out I’m worse.”
“You’re fine,” he assures, taking the now emptied glass with one hand while he uses the other to wipe your mouth. “You didn’t get any on my hair, at least.”
There’s a conflict of interest and your brain is waging a war against itself. How dare he make your heart flutter and immediately make you want to bury yourself alive in the next second. He’s terrible. “Look. I’m sorry. I know. Please stop talking about that now.”
“You threw up in the doorway and in my shower.”
“I said shut the fuck up, asshole.”
Something in his eyes flickers, almost as if you flipped a switch on him. The air gets knocked out of your chest when your back hits the mattress, a gasp slipping out of you. You recall what he said to you the other night, when his brain was all messed up after getting a few too many punches in the head— even more pretty when you talk shit, he said. Those words in his voice ring inside your ears when you face him wide eyed as he’s practically pinning you against the bed. Maybe he was actually serious when he said that. He looks like he would eat you up. 
“It’s not like I’m actively being a dick, pretty girl. I just like being myself.” His voice comes off as a rumble. Your right hand twitches but it can’t move— he’s got his fingers clasped around yours and you swallow hard when he squeezes them tighter. “And I was pretty damn nice to you last night. You’re still pretty when you’re shitfaced and fucked over.”
Things are starting to click. Coming from a life of privilege and power since he was born, Jaemin must have been doing whatever he wanted his whole life without any significant consequences. The both of you might have similar backgrounds, but when you were younger, your parents used to be a lot stricter, a lot more imposing. They’ve become more lenient as you grew up, of course, but they still instilled a level of control over you to this day. When you and him first met, they forced you to come. His parents simply hoped that he would show up.
He did. But he showed up on his own terms and left in the same manner. You’re starting to understand him better. Still, understanding doesn’t mean condoning that he has, admittedly, been a total piece of shit at times. And knowing the reasons for his behavior doesn’t mean knowing how to fix it. Sometimes he would bend his ego and listen to you, but that doesn’t warrant a complete shift in his principles, either.
Well, that’s not your problem and you’re not sure if it is even a problem. You’re not here to fix him. 
“I know,” you tell him. “Thanks for taking care of me, Jaemin.”
You’re here to have a good time and he’s giving you a lot of it. It doesn’t really matter when he makes every second with him feel like you’re riding on quicksand and taming rabid fires. He’s turned the thing you hated into something you’re thankful for with his own two hands by being the terrible person that he is.
“You should be grateful.” He lets you off with an innocent pinch on your nose right after looking at you for a good few minutes as if he would actually devour you alive. Jaemin pulls himself back, a familiar shade of pink coloring his ears and neck. “Your clothes are still in the dryer. I forgot to put them in last night,” he informs. “Stay here until they’re dry. Or don’t. Do whatever the fuck you want.”
He gets up and starts making his way to the door. You remember the conclusions you arrived at last night while you were drunk and delusional— that maybe he liked you. You have most of your mental capacities in check right now, and you’re willing to further test that hypothesis. Him blushing isn’t enough. You need to have him keeling over his own (maybe nonexistent) feelings and falling flat in the face.
“What if I want to stay in your bed the whole day?”
You can’t see if there’s anything on the floor but he stumbles a bit. He turns his head. “By yourself?”
“You can join me if you want.”
Jaemin’s eyes are lowered. He looks at you in consideration. “It’s not a matter of whether I want to or not, pretty girl. It’s a matter of whether you could handle it or not,” he says. “Can you?”
As a response, you nudge yourself to the side and pat on the space beside you. Jaemin takes this as a signal— he sharply walks back to the side of the bed, leans down, and gives you a knock on the head. “I ordered hangover soup,” he tells you. “Get your ass up once you’re sick of invading my space.”
With the creak and slam of the door, he’s gone. You blink, hand on your head and eyes unfocused. You’ve cracked him. All that’s left is to dig under the crust and surface.
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The floor is cold and dirty and gross, but you’re on your knees with your head down in front of Myung. Your hands lay on your lap in repentance. Myung tells you to stop being an idiot.
“Please stop. You’re causing a scene.”
You do, albeit slowly and remorsefully. Myung lets out a sigh and you’re about to beg again. She grabs your shoulders before you could, and you’re forced to look at her. “You’ve been doing a lot of dumb things lately,” she starts. “Dumb things, but not bad things. You’re fine. It’s all fine. Next time you get hammered, I told Jaemin to call me directly.”
“Oh my god,” you lunge to give her a hug and she pats your back. “There won’t be a next time. I swear.”
“You’re worse than your dad.”
“I know,” you grimace, pulling yourself together. “And I thought you didn’t like Jaemin. But you even gave him your number.”
She shrugs. “Just in case. And he isn’t as bad as I thought. Poor boy was pale as fuck when you passed out. He wasn’t even useful because he was panicking too much. Guy acts like hot shit but gets pathetic when you’re passed out and puking. I doubt he’s capable of hurting you like his dick of a friend.”
You stare at her. Maybe that’s why Jeno had to call Myung— because Jaemin was practically useless. It’s a funny thought and it’s hard to believe, but your fingertips tingle at its mere possibility. Myung hugs you goodbye as she leaves for her next class, and you’re left in the hallway to check the time. It’s thirty minutes before noon, and you managed to remember your mental, though admittedly alcohol-stained, note of treating Haechan lunch for ramblings about his friend (of course, he doesn’t need to know that reason). You managed to egg Jaemin for his number before you left his apartment. You text him that you’ll be waiting at the restaurant.
“You’re nicer than your boyfriend.”
“I told you, he’s not my boyfriend.”
There’s a look of doubt on his face as he steals the sushi roll from the platter and shoves it in his mouth, inelegantly pointing the now empty chopstick at you with a muffled voice. “Maybe he will be soon,” he says, a bead of rice pasted on his chin. “Not sure about you, but he definitely likes you. At first I thought he was just fucking around, but then the loser missed the finish line and drove straight to the fucking car like a madman when he noticed you weren’t watching.”
You cough. Hard. You scatter to grab the glass of water and Haechan nonchalantly passes it to you. “I thought he was gonna kill me when he saw you passed out. You owe me another fucking lunch for that threat to my life. You’re looking a little too happy after being told that your boyfriend nearly murdered me, you bitch. Fuck the both of you.”
Admittedly, things are going a little too fast than what you’re used to. You’ve only known him for like, almost two weeks. At this point of time, your previous relationships and flings would still be trying to curry your affection, but Na Jaemin managed to grab you by the neck from the very moment you saw him— for reasons of affection or otherwise, but all that doesn’t matter when you’re itching to dig further and further underneath his skin at every moment that passes.
When you finish your lunch with Haechan, the first thing you do is give him a call. He answers after the first ring, “Talk.” Always so eloquent.
“You didn’t ruin your face during the race, right?”
He’s quiet for a moment. Then you hear him laugh. “Not a scratch. I wasn’t going to bring it up, but you seem to enjoy getting dragged around by me.”
“I think you’re the one getting soft, Jaemin.”
“You’re on thin ice.”
“Wow, I’m so scared.” 
“Where are you?” You can hear the sliding of a door at his end of the line, and the sound of the wind becomes clearer. “You’re getting pretty cocky. Sounds like I need to put you in your place.”
“Looking forward to it.” You end the call and send him your location through text. Jaemin doesn’t take long to show up on his bake, and the temptation to tease him for it is almost stronger than your fear that he would change his mind and leave you behind if you do. 
You decide to save pushing his buttons for another day and instead enjoy the way his warmth seeps into you whenever you press up against him on his bike, taking you to god knows where— probably somewhere illegal again. It isn’t clear when or how your desire to prove his arrogant ass wrong transformed into a general fondness and a sea of uncharted feelings, but you’re not questioning it. You let yourself get washed and carried away.
He brings you way past the parameters of the city and to the seaside, leaving behind his bike at the foot of a rocky, uphill slope where there’s nothing but the gray and black mix of rocks and stone, pointing towards the salty horizon. You can hear the sound of waves splashing against the cliffside, some tides riding high enough to splatter droplets on you. “Wow,” you gape. “This place is so pretty. How did you find it?”
Jaemin is already settled on the uneven ground, just a few inches away from the cliff’s edge. You walk towards him and sit down as well. You can see the seafoam and seawater if you lean forward. “I stomped on a kid back in high school. He tattled on his older friends. They jumped me and brought me here— threatened to throw me off if I tried to mess with the piece of shit again.”
You stare at him. He shrugs. “I took care of it. Paid some college idiots to fuck them over. Dumbass transferred before I could do anything else to him. Fucking loser.”
It horrifies and fascinates you that the backstory to this place stemmed from violent teenage hormones and pride, but that doesn’t detract from the scenery in front of you. Waves crash against the rocks in tumultuous shifts. You shouldn’t have to wonder how something so pretty could also be so violent when there’s Jaemin right before your eyes. There’s a slight breeze, and his hair shuffles along with it. There are barely visible lines in between his eyebrows from his frowning too much, but the rarity of his smile makes it a hundred times prettier.
“The fuck are you staring at?”
“I can’t help it,” you answer. “Quit having such a nice face then maybe I’ll stop.”
“I can’t help it,” he mocks. You jab his side with your elbow but he’s unbothered. “It’s the only thing keeping you around me. Why would I give up on that?”
You move an inch closer. Your cheek is pressed on his shoulder. He cranes his head to look at you. “Are you sure?”
Jaemin doesn’t say or do anything, but you can feel something shifting in the air. The both of you stare at each other for a while, the sounds of the ocean crashing and splashing into itself engulfing your surroundings. For a moment, you think he’s gonna kiss you, but Jaemin is frozen in time with his ears pink and eyes open. After his moment of weakness, nudges you off with a grunt and digs into his pockets. You don’t mask your disappointment when he brings a cigarette to his lips and mumbles swear words at the wind when it blows out his lighter fire.
“I take it back, Your face really is your only redeeming quality. You’re annoying.”
“Suck it up, pretty girl. So is yours.” He blows a tuft of smoke into your face when he finally manages to light it, and your face scrunches with a round of coughs, fanning it away.
You watch as he brings the unlit end of the cigarette between his lips again before he removes it with a trail of gray, toxic air. It’s like he’s showing off. You’re not thinking too hard when you ask, “Can I try?”
Jaemin looks at you. “Do you smoke?”
“No,” you reply. “I’ve never even touched a cigarette my entire life.”
“Then, fuck no.” Your eyes widen in surprise when he throws it somewhere you can’t even see. The relaxed look on his face is gone when he turns back to face you. “You should’ve said so when I took out the fucking dart.”
You narrow your eyes at him. “You looking down on me, big guy?”
“I’m making sure your paper weak lungs don’t shrivel up and die,” he clicks his tongue. “Quit forcing yourself to do shit you don’t actually want to just to prove that you can keep up with me. You’ve already made it obvious that you’re harder to put up with.”
He admitted it. You’ve just won your stupid freaking game or bet or whatever it even was, but you don’t feel the least bit elated.
There’s a weight in your gut that’s anchoring you to the ground. You’re almost disappointed— hurt, even. But then he throws his head back with a groan, a hand digging into his hair with a harsh grip. He turns to shoot you a glare when he drops his arm.
“You drive me fucking insane.”
This is Jaemin you’re talking to and he’s nowhere near normal, so you can’t expect him to admit his feelings for you in a normal way as well. He drives this point further when he says, “And I’ve already made up my mind. You’re not going anywhere. I’m keeping you even if my face gets fucked and even if you keep pussying shit out.”
Then your disappointment slowly climbs into a giddiness bordering on adrenaline. It stirs you to your knees, the rough terrain nipping against the thin layer of skin, but you ignore it just so you can have some physical leverage on this bastard. 
“Can’t you say something sweet and romantic for once, you piece of shit?”
Jaemin tries to blink away his alarm when you roughly jerk him forward by the collar. He stares at you— eyes first, but you notice his gaze lowering. “Your lips look extra pretty when you call me a piece of shit.”
You want to throw him off the cliff. “Try again.”
“I want to kiss you right now.”
“I’ll give you a pass.” You loosen your grip on his collar. “Hurry up. What are you waiting for?”
Jaemin doesn’t need to be told twice. He pull you down by the hips and kisses you like he’s following a script he’s run over and over again inside his head prior— biting, nipping, and you feel yourself falling back as you try and gasp for air, but he chases after your lips like he’s addicted to you and not the cigarettes you can taste on his tongue. He’s restless, grunting against your mouth, and you have to pry him off to make sure he doesn’t die from a lack of oxygen.
“Calm down,” you breathe out. He lunges forward again in response. You should have remembered that the edge of a cliff isn’t the safest place to make out. When you stretch an arm behind you to balance yourself, you touch nothing and gravity pulls you down from behind.
Your scream snaps Jaemin out of his high. In your panic to grab onto him, the rocks crumble from underneath you and you’re sure you’re about to slip and fall off along with the crumbling edge. Jaemin manages to grab you by the arm, but you’re still centimeters away from death with the ground on your feet slowly falling apart and your weight tipping off your balance. You wait for Jaemin to pull you back into safety, but you see the look on his eyes. The same look when he’s hellbent on fucking with you to test just how much of him you can handle.
“Jaemin,” you warn. “Na Jaemin.”
You can see it. He’s tempted to loosen his hold just to scare the crap out of you just like how you nearly pissed yourself when he first made you ride on his motorcycle. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
He doesn’t. He pulls you forward with his other hand landing on your back to steady you on the ground, but you push him off. 
Jaemin is nicer to you, softer on you, and treats you like an exemption which makes you forget that inherently, he’s not a good person. He’s an asshole even to his friends and he’s a dick even to you. You’re livid. He kisses you like his life depended on it but hesitates on saving your ass the next second because he is and he will always be a piece of shit. 
He’s straightforward and simple. He does whatever he wants because knows there won’t be any consequences. He should learn that won’t always be the case.
“Where are you going?”
“Away,” you slap away his hand when he tries to reach out to you. “Don’t follow me. Don’t try to contact me either.”
You’re fueled by a mix of anger and disappointment when you leave him behind. Normally, you’d shrug his shitty behavior off like you’ve always done, his pretty face and understated affection always trumping whatever nasty things he says, but this time it’s different. You can hear your barrelling heartbeat inside your ribcage when you’re on a cab back home, feel the threat of cold winds on the back of your neck when you were partially dangled in the air.
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It’s been a week. You’re less mad about the stunt he pulled and more so about the fact that he actually never tried to call or text you within the seven days that passed. This made you realize that he’s never been the first person to call or text between the both of you, either, so even though you want to see him, you’re more bent on letting him marinate in the salty consequences of his personality and actions.
That is until your parents bother you again. You’re reading a magazine on the living room sofa when they tell you to get dressed and get ready for another dinner with Jaemin’s family. You sit up, hair a mess. “Why didn’t you tell me beforehand?”
“I did. Over dinner the other day.”
Admittedly, you have been out of it the entire week, so you might have missed it. You’re not sure if you’re ready to see him already. He hasn’t even gotten on his knees and groveled for forgiveness yet.
But, like last time, you don’t have much of a choice. It’s deja vu when you get in the car and complain about having to go with them. “I already told you earlier, sweetie,” your father tries to placate you. “I promised Jaehyuck that we’d all be having dinner together. You can leave after the first course if you don’t feel too well. It didn’t seem like you and their son got along last time, so I won’t force you to stay long.”
You scoffed at his statement. Oh, the both of you would be getting along really nicely right now if their son just fixed his personality a little. Not that you’re any better. The main reason why you got entangled with Na Jaemin in the first place was because of your ego, after all. You both bring out the best and worst in each other.
However, it’s not pride that compels you to delay having to see his annoyingly pretty face again. When you arrive at the hotel’s restaurant, you make a detour to the bathroom, pretending that washing your hands would be enough to wash away your nerves because really— you’re super fucking nervous. What if he never actually liked you and he isn’t bothered by all this at all? He never said it. He never admitted it. Your stupid arrogant head might have jumped into that conclusion all alone.
You have your head down facing the sink when your phone buzzes on the counter, loosening your grip on the surface’s edges to read her text message. Where are you? she asks. The smiley face emoji that follows after threatens you to your feet.
“Sorry. I had to answer a few calls for a class project due this week. Mr. and Mrs. Na, it’s nice to see you again!”
The couple greet your arrival. Mrs. Na gets up from her seat to give you a welcoming embrace and in the midst of all that, you manage to lock eyes with Jaemin.
He’s sitting on the long table. It feels like your roles are reversed, but unlike last time, his attire looks more appropriate for the occasion and you hate how he in a neat button up and coat ties knots inside your stomach. He’s nodding along to whatever your dad is saying, but his eyes are on you. You swallow. 
“How have you been, dear?”
You snap back to your senses, giving Mrs. Na a bright smile. “I’ve been doing well. Never been better.” You hope you managed to compose your expression because the last thing you need is them finding out you’re having a falling out with their son after flirting and messing around for a good two weeks.
The dinner seems to be going well. You smile and join the conversation when you’re needed. Jaemin does the same. You caught all four of your guardians sneaking concerned glances at the both of you considering the first interaction you had with each other wasn’t exactly friendly, but they relax after the second course when neither of you showed any signs of talking to each other.
You’re starting to feel nauseous. This is getting ridiculous. You make an excuse and leave the booth. You’re halfway to the bathroom again when someone calls out your name.
Jaemin is standing a few feet away from you in the hallway. You cross your arms, giving him time to catch up to you. He looks troubled when he meets you face-to-face— mouth pressed together in uncertainty, brows knitted from an emotion other than annoyance. He fishes the words from the air, clearing his throat before finally breathing out, “I’m sorry.”
You compose yourself. You try your best to keep your emotions from leaking through your expression, making sure your arms are still firmly pressed against your chest. “For what?”
“For trying to test your patience while you were hanging off a cliff.”
“Glad you know what you did wrong.”
“Like hell I’d let you fall off.”
“I was still fucking scared, Jaemin.”
“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
You snort. “You don’t do that often.”
“Fuck off,” he snaps. “Wait. No. Sorry.”
You hold back a laugh. He’s crude, he’s impolite, and his personality will get him into a truckload of problems in the future, but you don’t think it’s a problem to you when he’s trying his best and looks like he’s in genuine panic, thinking that he screwed up again. Jaemin is everything the rumors say about him and nothing at all. You cut off his incoherent swears and apologies with a tug on his sleeve. “C’mere,” you open your arms. He doesn’t think twice to lock his arms around your waist which causes you to stumble into his chest.
He isn’t groveling on the floor, but you don’t mind. This much is already a lot for his self-centered ego. “I’ll forgive you,” you tell him after managing to find your balance in his tight squeeze. He smells like cigarette smoke and vanilla. “I’ll forgive you if you stop swearing for a day.”
You hear him groan. “Fuck you, that’s too much.”
“I’ll consider letting you be my boyfriend if you stop for three.”
Suddenly, he pries himself off. He has a tight grip on your shoulders and he’s looking at you like he’s carefully picking out letters from the alphabet to formulate his reply. “Okay,” he finally says. “Alright.”
Your parents would be elated to find out that their whole matchmaking stunt actually worked, but you put breaking the news to them into the backburner for now. It won’t be easy to explain that you and Na Jaemin started dating just to prove each other wrong. It’ll be even more difficult to describe how you ended up catching feelings. 
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can’t handle this. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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4K notes · View notes
dkfile · 9 months
Text
forgiveness (i would redo it all if i could)
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❛ sure, the joy you exhibit is at his expense, but he can’t bring himself to care. jaemin would walk on burning hot coal if you asked him to. ❜
word count | 7.0k (7,009) genre | fluff with slight angst, humour, pining, idiots 2 lovers lol ━ fratboy!jaemin
the five times jaemin begs for forgiveness apologizes — and the one time you get a taste of your own medicine.
★ warnings | vomiting, humiliation (? not really but), alcohol consumption, and characters jumping to conclusions ★ author’s note | i wrote this instead of studying and it initially started as a drabble but the moment i finished the first part i realized i would just have to keep going. so i did. hope u enjoy this monster ❤️‍🩹
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one.
The air reeks of hard liquor. You feel it stick to your skin the moment you step inside the frat house, trailing behind Lia as she zigzags her way through the crowd and into the kitchen. She’s a creature of habit, always following a routine, so it doesn’t surprise you when her first order of business is getting the both of you a drink.
Still, the vodka does nothing to contain your nerves. Bitterly, you eye Lia from the corner of your eye as she makes chit-chat with some friends from her Psychology class; she promised this party would put you out of your misery, but you have been here for all of three minutes and your misery has yet to be put out.
You had hoped — prayed — the trashy EDM and stench of sweat mixed with booze would have a quick effect on your aching heart, that it would snap you out of the wallowing you’ve been doing for the past two days, that it would make you forget about the 25 text messages and 10 missed calls you’ve left unanswered.
But, alas, here you are.
Lia makes quick movements out of the kitchen after spotting another friend of hers, gripping your wrists as if you’re a felon and her hands are the cuffs, and this frat, with its roaring partygoers and sticky floors, was your own personal prison. She casts a brief look over her shoulder, notices your expression has yet to change from the scowl you sported the moment you stepped outside, and eyes you with apologetic pity but does not loosen her grip on your limbs.
“Lia!”
She stops, quickly hides you behind her. You’re about to bite out a response before your face falls at the sound of the greeting that falls from Lia’s lips.
“Hi, Donghyuck.”
“Lia! How have you been?”
“Mm, great,” she replies, curt, but Donghyuck waves off her behaviour. He either doesn’t care about it or is too inebriated to do so — your guess is the former.
“How’d you do on that Psych test? Question three had me fucked up.”
“Kind of like how you are right now?”
Over Lia’s shoulder, you catch a glimpse of Donghyuck’s eye roll. “Ha ha, very funny,” he says before bringing a can of beer to his face. He gives it a shake, signifying that there’s still liquid in it. “I’m still on my first can.”
“That’s nice, Hyuck,” Lia sighs. “But I have to go, I’ll talk to you later? Chaewon needs me.”
“Oh, Chaewon! I haven’t seen her in forever. Where is she?”
Donghyuck begins to scan the room as Lia says, “Over by—” his eyes land on you peeking over Lia’s shoulder, “—the beer pong table.”
The excitement on his face falters, he blinks thrice, and as if snapped out of his reverie, his grin turns smug. Lia’s voice dies down as Donghyuck glances over to where a group of frat boys, rowdy and energetic (are they fighting for the title of life of the fucking party?) while he muses, “Haven’t seen you in a bit, Y/N.”
“I saw you last Friday,” you clear your throat when you hear the hoarse scratch in your voice. “Besides, I’ve been busy.”
Sarcastically, Donghyuck says, “Oh, I’m sure.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing in particular,” he smiles, looking at you for a brief moment before returning his attention to his frat brothers. He makes eye contact with a boy, fading pink hair appearing orange under the lights, heavy eyelids opening fully at the sight of you. “It’s just weird, isn’t it, that I haven’t seen you since Friday?”
“Not… really?” you furrow your eyebrows. “We don’t have any classes together.”
He gives you a look. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
At the sound of quick footsteps, Lia glances to her side. At the sight of the very reason you’ve been holed up in your room the entire weekend, she tugs your wrists.
“We should go,” she says.
“Wha— why—?”
“Y/N!”
You jump far enough to release Lia’s hold on you. Donghyuck’s laugh is silenced by a stomp on his foot; the expletives he grunts at Lia goes through one of your ears and out the other — as people’s words often do when Na Jaemin enters your vicinity and punctures your comfortable little bubble.
He’s a sight for sore eyes — so, so beautiful, with his shirt half-tucked into his baggy jeans and a bajillion rings adorning his fingers. He gives you a smile laced with careful excitement, as if you are something to be cautious about, a ticking time bomb.
And suddenly, you’re transported back to Friday night, sitting in a restaurant in the fanciest getup you’ve stolen from one of your friends. Everything buzzes around you. You swear your senses have been heightened — you catch every pitiful glance, hear every sympathetic whisper, smell the desperation radiating off your chest.
Despite all of this, despite all your prayers for any sign of fortune, your phone screen stays black. Void of any texts or calls or even Instagram notifications.
The waiter, ever patient and remorseful, takes slow steps to your table. You take this as your sign to leave.
You ignore the first apology Jaemin sends eight hours later, and all the following others.
Over the noise, he shouts, “Can we talk?”
Your hands find Lia’s. “We need to go.”
Jaemin’s hands find yours. “Y/N.” He lets a drop of pathetic desperation taint his voice. “Please?”
“We have nothing to talk about,” you say.
“I’ll take five minutes.”
You don’t know what it is that gets you to give in. Maybe there’s a small part of you that wants to believe him. There’s a sliver of hope you cling to — like a child begging his parents for a new trinket while he stands in the toy section of a store — and it’s the reason for your downfall. It’s why you even said yes to him in the first place, sitting in the atrium of one of the science buildings as you both waited for the rainfall to stop.
Before you two had split ways, Jaemin had promised, “You won’t regret it.”
And yet…
Still, despite these broken agreements, you nod, allow him to take you to the porch despite Lia’s wariness and every voice in your head shouting at you not to.
He slides the glass door closed, muffling the noisiness of the party in the process. You shiver at the sudden gust of wind.
“Do you want a jacket?”
“No, I’m okay.”
“Really? Mine’s only on the couch, it’s no trouble—”
“Jaemin, I’m fine,” you bite.
The venom is enough to get him to back off.
The silence that falls between the two of you only lasts a few moments. The alcohol has made Jaemin jittery and impatient, but he’s soft in the way he says, “I’m sorry.”
You huff, placing your cup of fruit punch on the porch. “What for?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Well... isn’t it obvious?”
You tilt your head, leaning over the railing as Jaemin centres his hip against it. He faces you, drenched in remorse, and you face away, engulfed in humiliation.
“I guess it is. But I want to hear you say it.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there on Friday,” he murmurs. In the corner of your eye, you see him inch closer, and your skin begins to tingle at the sensation — but then, with words sharpened with knives, he adds, “I’m sorry for standing you up.”
Shame washes over you like a pail of cold water on a hot summer’s day. This is what you wanted, you remind yourself, for him to admit it. But that doesn’t stop it from hurting any less.
“Okay.”
“Y/N,” he almost pleads. His hands twitch at his sides, begging to touch your shoulder, your face, your hands, anything. The vodka doesn’t mix well with his regret and he thinks he might vomit if he doesn’t find something to anchor himself back to Earth. The railing isn’t enough — he needs you.
But he has enough self-control to back off. He hurt you, he shouldn’t be allowed to touch you.
“You know, you flirted with me for four months,” you begin, voice wavering. “And I thought you were excited for the date. I mean, you looked excited.”
“I was.”
“Well, not enough to show up.”
“Y/N, come on—” he takes a step towards you, grips the railing a little harder. His stomach growls at him to stop moving. “Just let me explain. I just need a couple minutes, that’s all. And then you can decide whether you still want anything to do with me.”
You glare at him, though it’s not sharp enough to sting. “I’d rather not waste my time.”
“I’ll be quick. I promise.”
You stare, and while you do so, he uses the free time to try and decipher your expression. Futile.
“I think we should be having this conversation while you’re sober.”
“What are you talking about? I’m completely fine!”
A glance inside. Your eyes lock with Lia’s. “Sure. But you’re slurring your words, Jaem.”
Jaem. A nickname. That’s a good sign, right?
“I can make it through a conversation,” he promises. “Really. Just trust me.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk right now,” you tell him. “It’s— it’s just better for me if we do this when you’re in your right mind, okay? So can it wait?”
And then all fight leaves his body. He supposes he can wait another day for your forgiveness. 24 more hours can’t hurt.
“Okay,” he agrees softly.
You manage a smile and give him a nod before gesturing you’re going back inside. He murmurs that he’ll see you in a bit, despite the fact that he knows you and Lia will be making your way back to the dorms the moment the glass door slides open.
As you begin to walk away, Jaemin notices that you’ve left your cup on the railing. He grabs it, “Wait—” he says, lurching forward.
Oh. He definitely shouldn’t have done that.
A loud gasp falls from your lips. Jaemin stands to his full height, eyes wide with shock as he wipes the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.
You won’t look at him. You’re looking at your shoes and scrunching your nose at the rancid stench that begins to fill the night air.
Well. At least Jaemin’s stomach is feeling better.
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two.
Flowers are fucking expensive.
Jaemin realizes this as soon as he leaves the flower shop Renjun works at (according to Renjun, Jaemin fucked up so bad he doesn’t even deserve a discount) but decides not to dwell on the dent in his bank account as he begins the trek to your dorm. He keeps an eye on the cloudy sky, murmuring pleas under his breath for it to not rain — the last thing he needs is for the bouquet he spent good money on to get soaked.
When he enters your building, his exhaustion replaced with nerves, he almost doesn’t notice the lively figure walking out of the elevator.
The way Liu Yangyang steps foot into the lobby, radiating all things bright and holy, is blinding. Jaemin resists the urge to flinch when Yangyang gives him a wide smile.
“Hey, Jaemin!” he greets, barely concealing his confusion at Jaemin’s suit and the big bouquet of flowers. “Do you have a date? At 10am on a Saturday?”
“Oh! No,” says Jaemin. “I’m apologizing.”
“Ah. I didn’t know you were dating someone.”
“Oh, I’m not!” Jaemin corrects, plastering an embarrassed smile. “But, uh, I fucked up, so… it’s the least I could do. And, well, I wanted to do this, so—”
“Still. A bouquet this big is expensive,” Yangyang quirks an eyebrow, plucking the card out of the large array of flowers. His eyes scan the paper. And then again. And again. Jaemin wonders if Renjun’s pulled a prank on him and wrote something ghastly on it.
When Yangyang finally looks up, glancing from the card to the elevator, Jaemin asks, “What? What’s wrong? What does the card say? Fuck, did Renjun do something? I’m gonna kill—”
“No, the card’s fine,” Yangyang snorts, placing it back where he found it. “It’s just... you’re the guy, huh?”
“Sorry?”
“The one that stood Y/N up? The one that they were complaining about when I dropped by this morning?”
There is so much to unpack here. However, Jaemin can only manage a flabbergasted, “Wait, what?”
Yangyang laughs, gives Jaemin a pat on the back, then bids him a goodbye. He’s left the building before Jaemin can even think of a follow-up question, leaving him standing alone in the lobby, dress shirt haphazardly tucked into his pants, hair swept up from the wind, and his right hand limply gripping the flowers — the perfect picture of disaster.
It takes him a while to finally move, and when he does, a new unpleasant feeling sinks in his chest.
But then you open the door, and momentarily, the feeling disappears.
“Hi,” he says with a gentle smile. With two hands, he presents you with the bouquet, which you carefully take, eyes sparkling in awe.
You absentmindedly step to the side to let him in while your fingers carefully brush the flowers. “Jaemin, you didn’t have to do this.”
“I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t have to.”
“Well, I did,” he argues with no malice. He slips off his shoes and follows you to your desk, watching as you place the flowers in a vase, “so you’re gonna have to deal with it.”
He sees you roll your eyes. Still, you say, “Thank you.”
He beams. “You’re welcome.”
You lean against the back of your chair, folding your arms over your chest. Jaemin tries not to let your sudden indifference affect him. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah. Sorry I threw up all over you last night,” he winces.
You wave him off. “It’s fine. Those shoes were worn out, anyway. I was looking for a reason to throw them out.”
“I’m sorry for Friday too.”
Jaemin notices you cave yourself in. Your gaze has hardened and the tension has made you stiff. Something much more painful than guilt sinks its claws into his beating heart.
He thinks, even if he were bleeding apologies, that it still wouldn’t be enough to deserve your forgiveness.
“It’s okay,” you shrug. “We’re fine now.”
“Okay… But are you sure?”
You blink.
Jaemin continues, “I really want to make it up to you.”
You move to lay against the headboard of your bed, playing with the controls of your alarm clock to avoid eye contact. “And you have.”
“I have?”
You take one long look at him, raise an eyebrow at the state of his outfit, before commenting — with your amusement thinly veiled behind the lingering hurt, “Oh, definitely.”
Everything in Jaemin malfunctions at the sound of your voice. The familiar mellow glee shakes him to his core. He leans against your desk chair, refusing to break eye contact despite your determination to not look at him for longer than five seconds.
He kicks the foot of your bed. Not hard enough to scare you, but enough to glance at him in annoyance. “I’m being serious,” he says. “I’ll humiliate myself if I have to. Do you want me to beg for forgiveness in front of everybody? I’ll do it. I can do it by the fountain at the centre of campus, or maybe the cafeteria. Or maybe at the next party—!”
“Jaemin.”
“I can do it at the coffee shop. Not the one near here, but the artsy one. I'm guaranteed to get a lot of judgemental stares there.”
“Jaemin,” you interrupt. You’re staring at him now, the alarm clock long forgotten. “You don’t need to do any of that. I mean, would it be funny? Yeah, definitely. But I want an explanation more than anything. That’s what you promised me last night, anyway — if you remember.”
Jaemin tries his best not to wince. He’d love to tell you the truth, really, but when he had relayed what happened to Renjun, he was met with a slap on the back of his head and different variations of “This is really embarrassing for you, man.” Last night, he was more than happy to explain the reason for his absence on Friday, but that was because there was alcohol in his system.
Could Jaemin humiliate himself in front of strangers and his friends? Sure, no problem. But you were a completely different story.
Every move he’s made, every decision he’s followed through, has been to impress you. He doesn’t know what he would do if he ever blew that up.
“Oh. Okay, well, you see…” Jaemin begins sheepishly, scratching the nape of his neck. “That’s a funny story.”
You frown. “If you don’t want to, that’s fine, Jaemin, but I don’t really wanna waste my time listening to excuses.” You turn to your side, taking interest in the alarm clock again as you grumble under your breath, “I’ve done enough of that already.”
The speed at which desperation consumes him is worrying. One minute he’s standing near your desk, the next he’s crouching to enter your field of vision. He’s next to your bedside table now, eyebrows furrowed and about two minutes away from begging.
“Okay, okay, no, you’re right,” he gulps. “Okay. It’s really embarrassing, though. It wasn’t my best moment.”
You don’t answer, instead giving him a look that urges him to continue.
“It’s dumb, alright, so don’t laugh,” he inhales. “A few hours before our date I went to the gym with Hyuck—” (Donghyuck had convinced him doing so would make him look so much better for the date) “—and I was exhausted. So, when we got back I… I fell asleep.”
“...What?”
“I took a nap,” he grumbles, more upset at himself than at your disbelief. “I was so tired and I didn’t want to go out with you if I was out of it, so I went to bed, and I thought I set an alarm for myself, but… I guess I didn’t. Next thing you know, I’m waking up at 1am, completely out of it, until Renjun barges into my room asking me how everything went.”
You stare blankly. “You… you fell asleep.”
He grimaces. He prepares himself for the brunt of your rage. It’s what he thinks he deserves — missing something he’s been wanting for months, looking forward to for days, all because he took a nap? He swears on heaven and Earth that he’s more mad at himself than you are at him.
But then you laugh.
It starts off as an incredulous snort before you start laughing in his face. And once he’s gotten over his initial shock at your reaction, Jaemin cracks a smile. Mostly because this is the first time he’s seen you happy since last week. He underestimated how much he missed all of this — sure, the joy you exhibit is at his expense, but he can’t bring himself to care. Jaemin would walk on burning hot coal if you asked him to.
Raindrops begin to land on your window as the sky becomes darker. Jaemin should be dreading the moment he has to step outside and walk back to the frat.
(But…)
“You’re not lying?” you guffaw. “You’re completely serious?”
“Unfortunately,” Jaemin deadpans.
You burst into another fit of giggles.
(He thinks the sight of your smile just made his entire week.)
(He says so to Donghyuck when he gets home and is asked why he’s soaking wet and giddy. To which Donghyuck replies with a roll of his eyes and, “Jaemin, you are so fucking whipped.”)
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three.
There are many things Donghyuck has seen Jaemin do in the name of love.
But this? This is definitely going at the top of the list of the worst things he’s ever done.
The act itself is mild. If Donghyuck was told about this then he wouldn’t even consider putting this in the top 10. But he isn’t the recipient of a storytime. Instead, he’s with Jaemin, standing with him at a supermarket thirty minutes after closing in his Kuromi pajamas.
Tonight, Jaemin isn’t only embarrassing himself, but he’s dragging Donghyuck along with him.
“Please,” Jaemin begs the tired employee on the other side of the locked doors. “I just need one thing.”
The employee locks eyes with Donghyuck. Donghyuck wants to crawl into a hole and die.
The catalyst of this impromptu trip to the grocery store is you. More specifically, what you posted on your close friends story. You had been baking but realized you don’t have any more baking soda, so Jaemin took it upon himself to drive to the store and get some for you.
You didn’t even ask him to.
“Don’t we have baking soda at home?” Donghyuck hisses under his breath, grabbing Jaemin’s elbow while the 16-year-old employee explains for the nth time, “No, sir, I can’t unlock this door. Like, I literally can’t. I don’t have the code.”
“No,” Jaemin snatches his elbow back. Donghyuck wonders how they both look, standing in their matching Melody and Kuromi pajamas in the middle of the night. “Jeno and Mark used all of it up, remember? For some bake sale.”
“I think they were raising money for the frat, Jaemin.”
“Oh, fuck the frat.”
Donghyuck snorts. “Dude.”
“What?”
Donghyuck throws his arms up in defence before tugging Jaemin towards the parking lot. He waves apologetically to the employee, who only shakes her head in response, and ignores Jaemin’s whining and thrashing as they make their way to his car.
“Okay,” Donghyuck says firmly, crossing his arms. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “Uh-huh, sure. It’s not like you’ve been moody for the past few days or anything.”
Jaemin throws him an irritated look. Then he runs a hand over his face and through his hair. “Sorry.”
Donghyuck waves a hand of dismissal. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“I fucked up big time,” Jaemin sighs. “With Y/N.”
“Again?”
“What? No! Do you have no faith in me?” At Donghyuck’s silence, Jaemin kicks his shoe. “No, it’s just… I don’t know. I have no idea what it’s gonna take for them to give me another chance.”
“Didn’t they forgive you already?”
“Yeah, but… you know.”
He doesn’t. You and Donghyuck are more so acquaintances than friends, but even if that wasn’t the case, he thinks nobody in this world could ever know you as well as Jaemin does.
Plus, he’s pretty sure Jaemin’s just making excuses not to put himself out there again.
So, Donghyuck asks, “Have you asked them out again?”
“Well…”
“You can’t be serious.”
“You don’t understand!” Jaemin groans. “I’m scared!”
Donghyuck rolls his eyes and starts typing a number into his phone. Jaemin is too busy listing off reasons on why you’d reject him to notice, and only stops his rambling when a groggy voice echoes off the speakerphone.
“Hello?”
Jaemin blinks, confused. “Y/N?”
“Jaemin?” you say, suddenly awake. Donghyuck places his phone in Jaemin’s hands and enters the car to give you two some privacy. “Why are you calling me from Hyuck’s phone?”
“Oh, I…” Jaemin starts, “My phone’s dead.”
“Oh,” you say. Jaemin presses the phone to his ear and closes his eyes as he leans against the hood of the car. “Why’d you call?”
“I, uh…” Jaemin murmurs, “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
If he was being honest, Jaemin’s surprised you forgave him so quickly. He thought he would have to grovel a little more, suffer for a few more days, before you finally flashed him a smile and a murmur of “It’s okay.” He asked you about this last night, his curiosity peaking past midnight with the only source of light in his bedroom being the blue light from his phone.
From: Y/N
I mean, it’s not like you’ve ever lied to me?
Unless you did. If you did, you are so done for, Jaem.
To: Y/N
I didn’t! I swear to God I didn’t
From: Y/N
Yeah, I figured
I’m messing with you lol
I trust you
Maybe this means he has a chance. He considers shooting his shot right then and there, but then he glances at the sky, figures now is not the right time. You deserve so much more than a hesitant question whispered into his best friend’s phone, the stars hidden behind a large blanket of clouds.
“I… I couldn’t get you the baking soda.”
A pause. “Oh?”
“Yeah. The store’s closed.”
“Oh,” you whisper with a little more understanding. Softly, you reply, “That’s okay, Jaem.”
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four.
For the past few days, Jaemin’s hands have been finding you.
It’s in gentle touches. He pats your shoulder before bidding goodbye, picks off a piece of lint in your hair before flicking it away, brushes your skin with his every time he gives you a gift. Every touch is accompanied with a smile — lambent albeit unsure — and every smile is accompanied with a soft call of your name.
The next time he touches you is when he hands you a bag. It isn’t heavy, but when you peek inside, you frown.
“What is this?” you ask.
He flashes you his signature grin. “What does it look like? They’re shoes.”
His retort is met with silence. Jaemin is left to listen to the bustling of the hallway as you stare at the relatively new sneakers he’s handed you. His grin wavers, ever so slightly, though it really shouldn’t matter because it goes unnoticed.
“I can see that,” you mutter. “But why?”
“Consider it an apology. It’s the least I could do after I… you know…”
“Threw up on me?”
Jaemin huffs. “Yeah.”
You clear your throat, pushing the shoes into his chest. “I don’t think I should take this.”
“What? Why not?”
You shrug, resting the handles of the grey plastic bag on his fingertips before walking around him to head to the exit. He’s quick to follow, barely dodging lingering professors and boisterous students that obscure his path. You don’t bother to slow down, eyeing the time on your wrist with a frown. Fuck, you were supposed to be at the mall five minutes ago.
You glance over your shoulder to see if Jaemin’s still lagging behind you. “It’s nice and all, but I don’t think you ruining my sneakers meant you had to buy me new ones as an apology.”
“I disagree. Besides, I didn’t even buy them! I stole them—!” You halt, causing Jaemin to crash into you. The both of you stagger, struggling to regain your composure. He coughs, muttering an apology before adding, “—from Renjun’s closet.”
“What the hell!” you exclaim. “Why didn’t you say that sooner! I thought you were a felon.”
Jaemin gasps incredulously, ignoring the odd gazes thrown in his direction. “How dare you. You know I don’t have the mental capacity to plan a successful heist. Too tiring,” he tilts his head, “You gotta admit, though, I’d look very good on a wanted poster.”
Silence. You continue walking to the student parking lot.
Another gasp, and then— “Hey, wait, don’t just walk away. Are you disagreeing with me?” An overdramatic whine falls from Jaemin’s lips. You are no match for your own mirth. It doesn’t waver, no matter how much you try to fight the smile that threatens to split your face apart. “Are you calling me ugly?”
“Way to jump to conclusions,” you quip.
His hand clasps around yours, stopping your movements. “You’re not denying it!”
A laugh, caged too long in your chest, escapes. It dances in the air, free. “You’re definitely not ugly, Jaemin. The very opposite, actually,” you pause, “But no matter how much you pout and whine, I will not be taking these shoes.”
“But I stole them just for you!”
(A passerby mutters a “What?” to her friend).
“Yes, it’s very Robin Hood of you to do this for me,” you agree, briefly placing two hands on his cheeks and ignoring the way his skin begins to warm. “But what if Renjun finds out? You know he scares me!”
“Pfft. Renjun would never hurt you.”
Your hands fall from his face and back to your sides. He immediately craves your touch again, even though he’s certain it’ll burn his skin. “I’m not taking these. But thank you,” you give him a smile, a much tamer one this time, but it makes his heart stutter all the same. “Really, Jaemin. I appreciate it.”
I appreciate you, you almost say. From the way Jaemin’s eyes flicker to your lips, you wonder if he knows you almost did.
“I—”
“Y/N! You slowpoke! Hurry up!”
Jaemin snaps his head to the direction of the voice. His lips part at the sight of Yangyang trudging across the quad, hands tucked into his pockets. Despite Yangyang’s impatient words, he’s grinning.
What’s worse, Jaemin thinks, is that you are, too.
You give Jaemin one last look before waving. Before you leave, you promise something. He isn’t quite sure what — maybe you’ll text him tonight, see him tomorrow, email him the answers to the Chemistry practice tests later. Nothing you say can sway Jaemin’s focus from Yangyang’s arm, resting on your shoulder as he drags you towards his car.
A hand reaches into Jaemin’s chest, squeezes his heart.
He tries not to think too much of it.
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five.
There are three things needed to spark a wildfire. Oxygen, fuel, and ignition.
Jaemin finds himself in an unfamiliar apartment on Saturday night, glued to Renjun’s side, as his friend drifts across the space like a butterfly soaring through the sky. Tonight is supposed to be carefree, a distraction from looming final exams, but Jaemin can’t help but feel a heavy weight in his pockets. His texts, sent 12 hours ago, are yet to be met with a response, and he’s getting fidgety. So much so that it’s hindering his chance of a good time.
Renjun tries his best to ignore him but all attempts end up futile. Once an acquaintance excuses himself to go to the restroom, Renjun nudges Jaemin and hisses (although he does it in a way that comes off as benign), “Can you stop acting like you’ve got ants crawling up your ass? Y/N will get back to you soon enough. Maybe they’re busy.”
Jaemin sighs, clenches his fist, then nods. “Yeah. Right. Sorry.”
Renjun looks at him sympathetically. “It’s okay. Just don’t stress.”
He manages to distract himself for a couple more minutes, engaging in conversations despite his dying social battery, and plasters a smile that he hopes Renjun deems decent enough.
This get-together is far different from any of the parties the frat has thrown, but its unfamiliarity tames the waves of worry clouding Jaemin’s brain, if only for a moment.
Everything in him comes alive, though, when the door swings open and a call of your name hangs in the air.
He’s plunged into a pool of relief at the sight of you. It’s almost as if the air has been knocked out of his lungs.
Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.
Oxygen.
He lazily mutters an excuse to Renjun and another acquaintance before walking towards the door. This conversation is the least of his worries especially when you’re standing in the doorway, radiant as ever.
When you spot him, he swears your eyes light up.
“Hey!” you greet, “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, Renjun dragged me here,” Jaemin tries his best to appear nonchalant, though the only person he appears to be fooling is himself, “he said I needed a change of scenery.”
“Well, I’m glad he did.”
Something akin to hope settles in the pit of his stomach. “You are?”
You hum. “Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love these get-togethers, but you make things a little more memorable.”
He grins. He can’t help it. “Just a little?”
“Alright,” you snort. “Don’t push it.”
A buzz. You take your phone out and, at the sight of the notification, your mood dampens — only slightly, but Jaemin notices nonetheless.
“Oh, by the way, did you get my texts?”
“Huh?” you glance up. “Oh. Maybe? Sorry, I’ve been so out of it. You would not believe the day I’ve had.”
“Ah. And here I thought you were ignoring me,” he says it in a way that’s insouciant, but you don’t miss the tension slowly easing out of his shoulders.
“I would never.”
“I mean, you did a few weeks ago.”
You hit his arm playfully. “Okay, well, you deserved that.” You tuck your phone back into your pocket. “I’m really sorry, though. I didn’t mean to screen you. What’d you send, anyway?”
“Nothing important,” he says. Really, it had just been a couple tweets he thought you would find funny. “How was your day?”
Before you can respond, someone enters, heaving. Yangyang, dressed head to toe in black, huffs out a breath as he slips off his dress shoes. He walks over to you, almost slipping when his socked feet meet tile, but he manages to save himself as he hands you a wallet.
Something feels off.
Fuel.
“Holy fuck,” Yangyang exhales tiredly. “You would not believe the kind of shit I had to go through to get that back. You owe me big time— oh! Hey, Jaemin!”
“Hi,” Jaemin replies, eyes flickering between you and Yangyang. It’s at that moment he clocks that the two of you are matching, both in flushed cheeks and attire. Suddenly, Jaemin feels underdressed in his grey hoodie and light-washed jeans. “Uh, you guys look nice.”
“Oh, thanks!” says Yangyang. Then he scans the other people in the apartment. “Wait, what the hell? I thought Lia said to dress formally!”
He gives neither you nor Jaemin time to reply. He’s already off, mingling with others as he hunts Lia down, presumably to question her about the dress code, leaving you and Jaemin in the dust.
You don’t say anything in Yangyang’s absence, so Jaemin decides he’ll bite.
“Why did he have your wallet?”
Your mood has changed. You scratch your neck nervously and give him a smile he can’t quite decipher. This one is different than the usual ones you give him. Is it— tinted with shame?
“Oh,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. Slowly but surely, the tension that was once in Jaemin’s body enters yours. “Funny story.”
Jaemin tries his best to sound lighthearted. “From the way you look it doesn’t seem like a funny story.”
“Got me there,” you chuckle, devoid of hilarity. “It’s— well, I was on a date—”
Oh. That’s why you never responded to him.
Yangyang, always impeccable with his timing, appears in Jaemin’s line of sight again. He isn’t quite sure what Yangyang says — something about the dress code, he assumes. But what he is sure of is Yangyang’s hand around your wrist, dragging you deep into the crevices of the apartment, away from Jaemin.
It all makes sense now. Yangyang dropping by your apartment, Yangyang’s arm over your shoulder, Yangyang arriving the same time as you at a gathering Jaemin didn’t even want to be at.
Any and all hope flies out the window, dissolving in the acidity of his heartbreak.
He pulls out his phone, texts you again, only this one is more formal than the rest.
To: Y/N
Had to go. Sorry we couldn’t talk more. I’ll see you.
He waits a couple minutes but never receives a reply.
Ignition.
Everything in him begins to burn.
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one.
It rains on Sunday.
Jaemin finds himself sitting just under the lip of the roof, watching as rainfall creates puddles in the miniature pits in the backyard. The humidity allows for sweat to adhere his clothes to his skin; it’s an unpleasant feeling, one he’s too lazy to fix by getting up and going back inside, so he’s grateful for the sudden breeze that causes him to shiver.
A jacket is suddenly draped over his shoulders. A figure takes a seat beside him.
“What are you doing out here?”
Your presence only adds to the warmth he’s already feeling.
“Oh, you know…” Jaemin murmurs as you make yourself comfortable on the porch, “wallowing.”
“Ah,” you hum. “As one does.”
“As one does,” he repeats.
You let a few raindrops land on your shoes before you ask, “Am I allowed to ask why?”
He kicks a pebble under his feet. “I don’t know. I just feel weird, I guess? I can’t explain it.”
Lie. He knows exactly why he feels under the weather, and from the way your eyes don’t leave his face, you know he’s lying, too.
“Do you feel better than you did yesterday?”
“Hm?”
“Renjun let me in,” you explain, “I asked him what happened to you last night and he said you just weren’t feeling it, so…”
He nods slowly. “Oh! Uh — yeah. Yeah.”
He clears his throat awkwardly. In the corner of his eye, he sees you raise an eyebrow and turn your head towards the backyard, watching as the rain becomes more aggressive, rapidly pattering against any surface it finds, staining the trees and the ground and the wood of the porch.
Inside, he can hear soft murmurs between his frat brothers. There is the occasional laugh and loud outburst, and it tugs on his heartstrings. It’s much happier inside than it is out here — here, Jaemin’s sulking and brokenhearted and you’re next to him, hiding under the blanket of his heartache.
“How’s Yangyang?” he questions before he can stop himself.
You try your best to hide your surprise. “Uh, he’s fine? I haven’t spoken to him at all today.”
“And your date?”
Your eyes light up. Game over, Jaemin thinks as you turn your body to face him, excitement making the rain falter. “Oh, yeah, I was gonna tell you about it last night!” Jaemin sucks in a breath, “It was awful.”
He blinks. “Huh?”
“Yeah, remind me to never listen to Yangyang ever again,” you snicker with a shake of your head. “He’d been bothering me for months about how I’m, apparently, chronically single. And he thought the only way to fix that was to set me up with a stranger from his Microbio class.”
Jaemin’s moved to look at you dead in the eye now, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed as he tries to process all the information you’ve just spewed out. “Wait, I’m sorry, what?”
You misinterpret his confusion for incredulity. “Right! But I went along with it, which I really shouldn’t have — I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you about it before I went, but it completely slipped my mind. I guess karma got me back, though, ‘cause the guy was terrible — he was so boring, Jaem. So I went to the bathroom to text Yangyang to pick me up, but I was stupid enough to leave my bag at the table. The guy stole my fucking wallet, so I had to—”
“Wait,” Jaemin interrupts, jaw slack. “So you weren’t on a date with Yangyang?”
You scrunch your nose up in disgust. “No. What?”
Jaemin doesn’t reply.
“Jaemin—”
“Never mind.”
You stare at him as he repositions himself to face the backyard again. The both of you hear more clamor in the kitchen, but it’s all drowned out by the laugh that escapes your mouth.
He lasts about ten seconds avoiding your eye contact — at the sound of your amusement, Jaemin whips his head to look at you.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize, covering your mouth with a hand. “I’m so sorry. That’s not — okay, well, it’s a little funny.”
“Alright, I get it,” Jaemin grumbles, though he softens when you lean on his shoulder for support.
“Why the hell would you think that?”
Jaemin shrugs the shoulder you’re not leaning against. “You two were always together, and then you guys showed up at the party at the same time wearing matching outfits, so my mind was like—”
“‘Yangyang and Y/N are dating. Only explanation,’” you finish for him with a snort. “That was just a coincidence. Yangyang and I are friends, Jaemin. I thought you, of all people, would assume that.”
He nudges you. “What’s that mean?”
You nudge him back. “I mean, I thought it was already established that I like you.”
At his silence, you click your tongue.
“I wouldn’t have said yes to a date with you if I didn’t like you, Jaemin.”
“Yeah, but…” he huffs, eyeing the clouds as the raindrops become infrequent and the sky turns a little brighter. “I thought you would’ve given up on me.”
You place a hand over your heart, frowning. “Wow. You think that low of me?”
“No, absolutely not—!”
You squeeze his shoulder with a gentle smile. “Jaemin, I was joking.”
Jaemin sighs in relief, leaning into your touch. “I’m gonna make up for that date, you know.”
Resting your chin on his shoulder, you assure him, “You already have.”
“No, not with flowers and stolen shoes — with dinner,” he pauses, turning his face to meet your eyes. As the sky grows lighter, the red on his cheeks becomes more evident, “if you’ll let me.”
“Will you actually show up this time?” you ask, teasing.
He laughs with a roll of his eyes. “I’ll be there before you even show up.”
When you leave the frat house that night, swollen lips and sweat prickling at your skin, you bump into Lia on her way to class. She asks suspiciously why you’re grinning like a madman — there is no reason for anybody to be smiling this much when it’s this humid outside.
At the mention of Jaemin’s name, Lia softens in understanding. She pats your cheek the same way a mother would nurture her child before saying, “I swear that boy is gonna be the death of you.”
You shrug. You can’t bring yourself to care.
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ericsprincess · 2 months
Text
wanna take a look inside you
nc-17, stalker!Jaemin, Jaemin/female reader, cunnilingus, crack
~~~
Your stalker really cares about you.
~~~
Why the fuck is it snowing again? Just why? you groan, as soon as you open your eyes and see all the fluffy snowflakes falling behind your window. 
You reluctantly roll out of your warm bed and start getting ready for the day. You should be rushing through your morning routine, since you have to get to work, but you’re almost deliberately slow. You’re just trying to delay the inevitable, which is having to shovel half a meter of snow out of your driveway and your car, and scrape off the ice from your car windows. You’re seriously considering calling in sick, just to not have to deal with standing outside in snow and fighting your flimsy plastic shovel and tiny ice scraper. 
You’re pouring yourself a cup of coffee when you stop at the sudden glimpse out of your kitchen window. What the hell. 
Your driveway is already nicely and precisely shoveled, with all the snow neatly piled up on one side. Not only that, your car is completely cleaned, covered with only a small layer of freshly fallen snow, indicating that whoever took mercy on you did it only a while ago. 
You sit down behind the table and absentmindedly scratch behind your dog's ears while chewing on toast. 
Maybe one of the neighbors did it? Or maybe there is some kind of a community service? Which is weird. You just moved into this area and by the looks of it you would expect to get your car stolen rather than cleaned. 
Hmm, you think. Maybe the neighborhood here isn’t that bad. 
(Narrator voice: It is actually that bad.)
~~~
Ironically, a few days later you do end up calling in sick. The cold winter weather got to you and after an evening of feeling like shit you woke up with fever, sore throat, and no will to live. 
You blindly feel around your bed to search for your phone, eventually finding it under your dog (Oof, move, you fat fuck), and call Jaemin from HR, in your office also known as Hot Jaemin from HR, to inform him that you’re taking a sick day. 
He picks up immediately after the first ring and with his completely pleasant, friendly, and only slightly creepy deep voice, he takes your note and wishes you to get well soon. He even asks if there are some work related heads up to pass to your coworkers, just like the nice and considerate guy he always is. If only every coworker was like Jaemin (nice, competent and hot), work would be much more bearable, you sigh. Sometimes he even sits down with you for lunch in the breakroom and offers you some home baked pastry while he talks about his cats. Really, just an overall nice guy. 
You finally hang up and burrow yourself back under the covers, when you notice the time on your phone. 6:58. Huh? I must be delirious, you think hazily, already drifting back to sleep. He’s not even supposed to be at work yet.  
~~~
When you finally emerge from your supposed delirium (also known as common flu) two days later, both of which you spent almost entirely just sleeping, you take a gloriously good hot shower and head to the kitchen, wondering what you will be able to scavenge from the fridge. 
Thankfully, it seems well stocked. So you quickly make a sandwich with some fresh ham and vegetables, scarf it down like a madwoman, after barely eating for two days and put the plate into the sink.
The dishes are also done. 
The house is actually pretty spotless, you squint as you look around. Even more than usual - no socks anywhere, no cups with forgotten tea. Dog looks fed and happy. 
The laundry machine beeps to announce that it’s finished. 
Wow, it must have been really bad, because I don’t remember doing any of that. Good job, sick me, you mentally pat yourself on your shoulder. 
~~~
You open the door to get out of your house for a nice walk and you stop dead in your tracks.
What the actual everloving fuck. 
Right in front of your doorstep there is a line of six mice, nicely ordered and completely dead, and you barely manage to prevent your dog from taking a good sniff. 
You retreat back to your house, pulling the dog with you and you lock all the locks on the door. 
You don’t even own a cat? 
~~~
You would swear the oil change light in your car was blinking for the past two months. Like, it had been mocking you and your procrastination. You felt bad about it, but ignored it, because who would want to deal with it unless you really have to? 
Well, it’s not blinking today. 
Which must mean only one thing - the light is broken now too. Which might also mean some electronic failure.
You frown. Karma for being lazy found you and there goes your free Saturday. 
And then it finds you again 2 hours later for being an idiot, when it turns out the oil does not need to be changed and the whole electronic system in your car is working alright. You made the mechanic check twice because you could swear you’re not making it all up, just to end up looking like a dumbass in front of the whole shop. 
You go home in shame and then you dig out the car manual you once threw into a cupboard and never read. 
~~~
Ugh, this guy again. You fight the urge to run, but he has already noticed you and you don’t want to look weak. Or afraid. But you are, a little. 
Walking on the same street, your creepy neighbor is approaching you from the opposite direction and you’re already bracing yourself. 
He never lets you go just with “Hello,” he always tries to flirt creepily and invite you for coffee, last time he even tried to grab your hand. You shudder at the memory. You hate these kinds of slimebags and their audacity. But you’re afraid he might snap if you really tell him off. 
So, you’re not sure what to do, you’re always just distantly polite and doing your best to not give him any signal that he might interpret as his attention being welcome. 
But you did start bringing pepper spray with you and going everywhere with your dog. Not like this fat fuck could ever protect your from anything, but still. For mental support. (But seriously, why is it getting so fat? You make a mental note to take him on longer walks, despite the shitty neighborhood.)
He’s getting closer and you’re already feeling the anxiety, when he swiftly crosses the road to get to the opposite side of the street. He walks faster. It’s like he’s avoiding you. Not only that, but he’s limping and his nose is bandaged as if it were broken. 
What could have happened to him? you wonder. Maybe he bothered the wrong girl and her boyfriend went to teach him to leave women alone, you chuckle. Who knows. 
~~~
You suddenly startle out of your sleep to the sound of breaking glass. It's a deep night but you are barely gathering your wits from being so crudely woken up, but you can hear a strange commotion from downstairs. 
Burglars, is your first thought. You’re shaking hard but you slowly and silently tiptoe to your closet to get a broom, the only weapon you can think of right now. A broom in one hand and your phone in the other, with the police dialed up, just waiting to press a call, you pad down the stairs to your living room where the sound came from. 
The lights are already on. And in there there is-
“Jaemin??? What are you doing here?” you scream. 
Right in the middle of your living room is Hot Jaemin from HR, disheveled and slightly out of breath, and just about to finish hog-tying a masked man. He pulls the rope tightly and kicks the man into the ribs for good measure. He stands up and turns to you with a bright and wide smile. 
“Y/N! Go to sleep, I got it!” he says happily and throws you a thumbs up. He ignores the question.
“B-But-” you take a step forward but Jaemin stops you. 
“Be careful, Y/N, there is glass. I threw a vase at him, that fucker really thought he can mess with me like that,” he snorts. “Just go back to sleep, I’ll clean it up and deal with this bag of dicks.” he urges you gently. 
“H-How are you going to deal with him?” you’re confused. Jaemin’s smile gets even wider. 
“I’ll deal with him, I have tools in my car. Don’t worry about it.” he brushes you off. 
“You know what, I’ll just call the police,” you wave your phone, barely out of shock from what just happened. 
“Okay,” Jaemin sighs with dramatic exasperation. “But it will take forever while you could have just left it to me and gone to sleep.”
You squint at him suspiciously and press the dial. 
~~~
“So, that would be all, Mrs. Y/L/N. We will contact you about the further proceedings,” the police officer clicks his pen off and gathers his papers. Your kitchen is still flashing red and blue from police cars parked outside. 
“Thank you, officer, I really appreciate it,” you beep back at him. This police thing turned out to be a lot more serious and lengthy than you expected.
“Don’t thank me, miss, you should thank your..uhhh…” he looks up at Jaemin, who is standing behind you with his hands on your shoulders. 
“Husband,” Jaemin offers, with his signature bright smile and you fight the urge to step on his foot. 
“Yeah, that. Anyways, if you have any questions, call us. Good night!” he salutes you with two fingers and brusquely walks out of your house. The cars leave one by one and then you’re alone. With Jaemin. 
You turn back to him. 
“I am not sure what to think about all of this, but thank you, I guess. But I have a lot of questions and I want answers to all of them,” you stick a finger right in the middle of his chest. 
“Okay, of course. Whatever you want, Y/N,” Jaemin offers. It’s the first time you see him look anything else but bright and cheerful. He looks almost unsure. 
“I’m now going to sleep and if I find out you’re still in this house, I’ll call the police again. On you.” you threaten. “You have 2 minutes to leave,” you add and pointedly look at the clock on your kitchen wall. 
“Oh, okay, let me just…” he gathers his rope that the cops left behind and his jacket and hurriedly slips on his shoes. He’s in the door in thirty seconds, waving at you. 
“See you at work!” he squeezes your hand briefly and runs out of your house. 
Why do I always attract these weirdos, you sigh and drag yourself upstairs to your bedroom. You fling yourself on the bed and you suddenly really feel how tired and exhausted you are from all the adrenaline. It would be really for the best to just sleep, you decide and crawl under the covers. 
But the sleep is not coming, you’re just thinking about everything that happened. You keep tossing and turning, ending up staring out into your bedroom window. 
Suddenly, a phone display lights up in the crown of a nearby tree. You decide to pointedly ignore it and you flip to the other side, turning your back to the window. You grab your dog, who’s been snoozing peacefully throughout the whole night and snuggle into his white fluffy fur to sleep. 
~~~
The next day at work you don’t waste any time. After throwing your bag at your desk you change direction right into the HR office. 
You don’t knock, just let yourself in, meeting Jaemin who is currently sitting behind his desk, unpacking his things for a day. He looks up at you, smiling. 
You cross your arms and point at the nametag on his desk that says “Na Jaemin, Head of HR” with your chin. 
“Ironic, huh?” 
“What’s ironic?” he straightens up, smile unwavering. 
“I can’t even report you, you asshole.” you frown. “And I don’t really want to go to the police because you did save my life.”
“Well that’s bad.“ he nods solemnly.
“It really is. So… Care to explain what you were doing at my house?” 
“Guarding you?” he answers like it is the most obvious thing in the world.
“Wh-guarding?? From what?” you ask incredulously. Oh. “Okay don’t answer.” 
“Yeah,” he laughs. “You know that as a head of HR I have access to aaaaaaaaaalllll of your records, right?” he spins his pen between his fingers. “So I really couldn’t help but notice you moved into a really shitty location, Y/N. Really, there? I know how much you make, you don’t need to live there at all.”
“I’m saving money for my own house, okay?” you answer defensively. You couldn’t have possibly known it would be that bad. You thought that everyone was just exaggerating. “Why were you even keeping tabs on my address?” you ask him accusingly. 
Jaemin just keeps looking at you, smiling. It’s unnerving. Like a shark about to eat you, but with joy.
“...so you’re not gonna answer?” you frown. Of course. 
“I mean, isn’t that obvious?” he drawls, tilting his head as if he were mocking you. And you think it should be obvious, but at the same time, you never know what’s going on in Jaemin’s head. 
You sigh. “You know, next time JUST ASK ME OUT YOU MORON!” 
“Oh, yeah, I could have done that…” he startles with realization. “I guess I was too preoccupied.”
“With what? Figuring out my daily patterns? Putting a GPS tracker on my car?”
“How did you find that?” he asks surprisingly, pulling up his phone to check. 
You close your eyes and breathe deeply. Come on, you have dealt with worse. And he’s really hot *and* whipped, even though he has a particular way about it. And he saved your life. You could have a use for him. 
“Drive me home.”
“Sure,” he gets up immediately, picking up his jacket. 
“You’re not even gonna question me wanting to leave work just like that?” 
“Who do you think is processing your attendance records?” he winks at you and leads you out of his office to the parking lot with a hand on your waist 
~~~
“By the way, you didn’t answer.” you say while fighting with the seatbelt while Jaemin starts the car. “What were you doing at my house?”
“Uh. Is this now the time to tell you I’ve been sleeping in front of your bedroom door for the past few weeks?”
You can literally taste the headache coming. 
“I don’t think there is ever a good time for that.”
~~~
You open the door to your house and let both you and Jaemin in. Your dog comes running to welcome you and you’re not even surprised that it actually ignores you in favor of running into Jaemin,  who doesn’t wait to start playing with him, laughing and telling him what a good boy he is. 
More like a traitor. You frown at Jaemin pulling out a treat out of his jeans pocket and your dog chasing it hungrily as Jaemin teases him. Sold me for a piece of snack. 
“Let’s go upstairs before I change my mind.”
“Sure,” smiles Jaemin and stands up, suddenly taking a hold of you and picking you up over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. 
“Hey! Put me down!” you yell at him, grabbing his ass and squeezing it. “I will fucking bite you!”
“Leave that for later…” he drawls in his creepy flirty voice as he walks up the stairs. He takes you to your bedroom and gently lowers you down on your bed. 
You really like the view from under him. He leans down to kiss your neck.
“Hey Jaemin..” you begin. 
“Hmmm?” he mumbles, continuing to kiss and lick your neck while his hands are working on taking your clothes off. 
“While you were sleeping outside my bedroom…Heards anything weird?” you ask. 
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Pretty sure I heard my name at least once,” he bites into your collarbone. He takes off your shirt and pinches off the hooks of your bra in a second and you help take it off you. 
“And you still didn’t think of asking me out?” you ask disbelievingly. He pulls back a little and you get distracted by his shoulders. You start unbuttoning his shirt, just to reveal his beautiful full chest and muscular arms. Nice.
“You said Doyoung’s name once too.” he shrugs. He doesn't really meet your eyes.
“Oh yeah, Doyoungie from accounting…Haven’t seen him in a while, I wonder how he's doing…”
“He asked for a transfer. Doesn’t matter. Let’s not talk about him,” says Jaemin once again back to his bright smile and leans down to you, now fully committed to undressing you as soon as possible. He pulls off your pants together with your panties and lets his shirt slide off his body as well. 
“What are you gonna do?” you ask, while he shifts down your body. You instinctively spread your legs.
“Apologize,” he says while looking into your eyes and straight up dives into your pussy. 
You can tell he’s really sorry. He’s putting all the enthusiasm into eating you out, trying really hard to figure out what makes you tick and then applying it tenfold. You can feel him smile the moment you start making sounds.
You can feel yourself being close to coming and you try to tell him by pulling his hair, but in the end it doesn’t matter. He knows it already and he continues to flick his tongue over your clit even as you come, holding you by your thighs firmly so you don’t move too much to slip out of his hold. Once your orgasm starts to fade, he eases up a little, switching to slower, gentle licks with flat tongue, while you catch your breath, but in a minute, he’s back at it, relentlessly stimulating you as if you didn’t even have a choice about whether you want another round or not. 
You can only applaud his skill and stamina and let him make you come, with absolutely no guidance, for the second time, barely a couple minutes after the first one. 
While you’re coming down from your orgasm, feeling all liquid and brainless, Jaemin disentangles himself from your legs and crawls up the bed to drag you into his arms.
You turn to kiss him when you realize he hasn’t even taken off his jeans yet. You slide your hand to rub over his hard cock a little and he sighs and nuzzles into your neck. “Do you want…” you start.
“No. I haven���t deserved it yet,” he breathes out. “I’m already close though…” He looks like he’s fighting himself on that.
“Oh really?” you grin, and rise up to look better at his flushed face. “Well then get back to work?” you pull him by his (insanely attractive) sex hair. He whines, you don’t know if it's from pain or arousal, but it doesn’t matter.
“I’m going to sit on your face now, okay?” you whisper to him. 
“Uhhhh uhhh,” he closes his eyes. 
“Great. If you come, this one doesn’t count,” you laugh, and swing one leg over his leg to kneel over him.
~~~
You’re lying in your bed, sweaty and tired and almost falling asleep in Jaemin arms, when you suddenly remember. 
“Hey, actually...what about the mice?” 
He turns and smiles at you with a full Cheshire cat smile. Way too many teeth.
"Well..."
298 notes · View notes
ncityavenue · 10 months
Text
「 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧」 JAEMIN
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜
"I'm sorry you just looked so good in this skirt I had to." Jaemin said shoving his dick in between your thighs, the tip of his dick leaked with pre cum on to your skirt that was ruffled up around your waist. He grazes himself on your clit. He went at fast speed watching your boobs jerk.
He continued to fuck in between your legs digging his fingers on to your thighs, he became mesmerized with your thighs shaking from his animalistic thrusts. His grunting became louder.
"Squeeze your thighs together."
"Are you sure? I don't wanna—"
" please please Just do it you won't hurt me." Jaemin pleaded, you went ahead and squeezed them while his cock became a little red from the pressure of your legs squeezing him. He whimpered from the slight pain and pleasure mixing.
He gripped both of your boobs harshly, he smacked them and soothing your nipples with his thumbs. He continued his thrusts until his cum spurts out on your skirt making a mess on it, he snapped his hips into you one more time before coming to a stop.
He panted leaning back on his calves, he could see your soaked panties while you still had your legs in the air.
All of a sudden you heard a knock on your door making you jolt and jaemin snapping his neck back, " Are you guys ok? Need anything?" Your mom spoke sweetly.
"Uh, nope we're good thanks mom!" You said.
She left shortly after your responded and you looked at jaemin as his grin grew the more he heard her distancing footsteps.
"I think she might have heard us." Jaemin said.
"Us???US???? You mean you? You're kinda loud jaemin." You said.
"Maybe i should bury my face in your pussy to keep me quiet" Jaemin said laying down gesturing for you to sit on his face
You playfully rolled your eyes crawling on top of him, "Whatever just Quiet Down for me"
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⏜︵♡︵⏜︵୨୧︵⏜︵♡︵⏜
787 notes · View notes
peanutpinet · 4 months
Note
hihi!! really love the mini nct-mafia universe that you’ve created 🥹 i was hoping if you could write jaemin next..i was thinking of jaemin being a little cold to others but only soft towards y/n (and of course jeno)..i’ll leave the plot up to you but i thought it’ll be cute if there’s a scene where y/n helps to undress jaemin to take care of him..so like angst/fluff/suggestive all blended in one! thank you and i’m sorry if it’s so specific 🥲🥲
Trauma - Mafia! Na Jaemin x Innocent! Fem Reader
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A/N: Hi anon!! Thank you for requesting the fic! I actually was already planning to write for mafia Jaemin and since you requested him as well, it motivated me even more to write!
Also, apologies if I took way too long and if the story isn't how you actually want it to go but I do hope that you enjoy it as much as I wrote it. There are lots of heavy trigger warnings that you have to pay attention to!
Trigger Warning: trauma experience, character death (not MC), grief, revenge, murder, blood loss, torture (excessive), explosion. -> I'm sorry if this isn't all but I will try to update it in case I missed anything
Synopsis: Being the son of the famous Nam Goongmin came with a heavy price to pay for Jaemin. Though Taeyong managed to get Jaemin out of his father’s mafia business and helped him to heal, there was still some trauma that Jaemin had yet to face. Until he came across a girl that he would soon learn that he can't always run from his problems
Water to Fire. Winter to Spring. Sunshine to Rain. They were all opposites of each other yet people kept on saying that opposites then to attract one another. Jaemin had never believed such things until he saw his parents. His father was the ruthless mafia whereas his mother was a kindhearted school teacher. Despite their contradicting characteristics, they were like magnets and attracted each other in a good way just like sunshine and rain coming together to create a rainbow.
Though Jaemin knew that his father didn’t have the best job, being one of the most feared mafia in South Korea before NCT became a thing was a reputation that Jaemin had to live for years until his mother passed away; and not in a peaceful way.
Jaemin knew that with the amount of power and wealth his father had, came all the enemies as well. Enemies who either wanted his father dead for hundreds of different reasons. Murder. Fraud. Stealing. Jaemin didn’t know how far his father was in crime because his mother made sure that he wouldn’t have to see his father at one of the most gruesome scenes that might as well come from the action/thriller drama that he watched.
Sadly, those moments were all but just memories to Jaemin. Everything happened as quickly as his memories could remember. One sunny morning, the day before Jaemin’s 18th birthday, he was going off to school and the same evening he went back home, it started raining but he still went home smiling knowing that he got a perfect score on his biology test, a recommendation letter from all of his science teacher and that his mom promised that they would bake today.
But when he arrived at the front door, Jaemin knew that something was wrong. Quietly, Jaemin took off his shoes and took the nearest thing that he could use as a weapon and went in. Though Jaemin was sheltered from the gruesome life of his father, the old man actually taught him every self-defence technique he knew. From hand-to-hand combat to even using a gun, Jaemin knew it all. But what his father had not taught him was how to cope with his feelings or a life that he took with his own hands.
That day will forever haunt Jaemin’s memory as the day of his first kill, the day of his mother’s death, and the day that he knew that he was his father’s son. When Jaemin’s father came home that night, he was just as distraught as his son. Both instantly mourn the loss of their beloved wife and mother. It was the first time that Jaemin’s dad actually let Jaemin into the horrifying world that he lived in.
Out for revenge, Jaemin had no mercy for anyone who would prevent him or his father from getting back at the one who took the light out of their dark thoughts. But even when Jaemin finally got a taste of revenge. It didn’t satisfy him and instead, he quickly realised his actions before it was too late.
His mother taught him better. His mother always taught him to never hate anyone as most people who do evil things were also once good. So Jaemin did what he could do. Run. Jaemin ran away from all his dark side; his father.
Jaemin knew that no matter how far or fast he ran, his father would always find him. But it seemed that his mother must’ve sent some guardian angels because right as Jaemin was cornered by some of his father’s most trusted men, some other men came and saved Jaemin, killing his father’s men in the process.
It was that day did Jaemin joined Taeyong into NCT and became one of the core members of NCT. But unlike the other members who also have daytime jobs, Jaemin prefers to just stay at the base and stand by whilst studying medicine with Kun. Though Taeyong still forces Jaemin to go follow Jeno along because Jeno was one of the only members that Jaemin talks to and eventually Jeno manages to convince Jaemin to at least intern and later work in NCT’s hospital under Kun on the early morning of weekdays.
For the most part of Jaemin’s life in NCT, not once did he ever complain. Not once did Jaemin want something more like his friend Jeno who is a famous racer. Not once did Jaemin ever go against NCT’s leader, Taeyong, like sometimes Haechan did. Though Jaemin has become more social than his first year in NCT, Taeyong has yet to completely understand Jaemin.
In reality, Jaemin stayed with NCT because he hoped that one day if he were to have to face his father again, he would face him without being scared. After years of being with NCT and even becoming a surgeon in Neo Hospital under Kun, Jaemin slowly finds a new routine and he slowly finds that by helping other people, it relieves a part of him that remembers all the bad things his father had done towards multiple innocent people.
As days passed, Jaemin has slowly forgotten about meeting his father again. Instead, Jaemin wants to avoid having to meet his father ever again if it were possible. Jaemin was content with the life he has now and wants to continue to just live his life without the constant worry of having to deal with his father or the mess he made; at least, until a recent patient that he had to deal with.
It was in the middle of a weekend night, right when Taeyong suddenly dismissed him and told Jaemin to just go back home despite Taeyong just finished torturing a guy who kidnapped the intern for Neo-Tech and helped build the Satellite tracker.
But right as Jaemin was about to go back to his place, Jeno suddenly called him and said that there was a sudden accident right when he and his girlfriend were on their way home and some weird men were chasing an injured girl.
“I got no idea why they were chasing them but I figured to call you not only to help the girl but I also feel that you should know. Those weird men mentioned that they were under your father’s name” Jeno mentioned, making Jaemin stop in his tracks
“I’m on my way. I’ll call the nurse to handle it before I get there. Just drive to the emergency entrance” Jaemin replied, turning off his call with Jeno, going into his car and rushing to the hospital
Along the way, Jaemin called the nurse in his hospital and told them to go to the emergency room and help a girl that Jeno was bringing. Jaemin also told the nurse to ask for Kun to help before he arrived there.
Within minutes, Jaemin arrived at the hospital and immediately went to get changed and head to the surgery room. Before going in, Jaemin saw Jeno who was bloody with his girlfriend sitting by the entrance. “Jaem…” Jeno called out to his friend who was just about to head into the surgery room.
“You should take her home. I can handle it here” Jaemin replied but Jeno seemed hesitant. “Your girlfriend is practically asleep, Jen. You’re also covered with blood. Plus I’m not alone. Kun-hyung is here. Go” Jaemin reassured Jeno who stood up, carrying his sleeping girlfriend
“Call me if anything happens. I’m not just a member. I’m your friend, too” Jeno mentioned before Jaemin went into the surgery room
In the surgery room, Jaemin apologised to Kun for being late but Kun didn’t question him. “I’ll question you after the surgery. Jeno came in here bloody and said that you wouldn’t want anyone outside of NCT to know about this” Kun mentioned
“Probably for the best” Jaemin replied and immediately got to work with Kun
Because Jeno managed to stop the bleeding by using a cloth and putting pressure on it, Jaemin and Kun managed to stitch up the girl with no problem. But aside from the deep wound, Jaemin noticed that the girl also had several bruises all over her body, a cut lip, and even a few fractured bones.
After moving the girl into a secluded patient room, Kun and Jaemin went into Kun’s office where Kun made a cup of warm tea before getting into the talk. “I won’t tell Taeyong if you don’t want me to” Kun reassured Jaemin who has been quiet since the surgery
“She’s related to my father” Jaemin mentioned, making Kun stop drinking his drink and look at the younger one. “Not in a way that you would think. Jeno said that she was being chased by some men. When Jeno got to her, she was already bruised and everything. Jeno thought that he was just helping someone but didn’t realise until too late that the men were working for my father” Jaemin explained
“You know. You’re not really obligated to actually find out about her or her relationship with your father if you don’t want to. You can always just ignore her and think that you never met her” Kun mentioned. “I’m not saying that you should run away from your problems but…” Kun added but Jaemin stopped him
“I know that someday I’m going to have to face him again after all these years. If so, I might as well get it over with. Thanks hyung, but I’m going to try and find out and maybe face my father. All I ask is to not tell Taeyong-hyung about it until I’m sure that she truly has something to do with my father” Jaemin mentioned, leaving Kun to see the girl
Jaemin’s POV
Reaching the girl’s room, I went in and received an overview of her profile from Haechan. “You owe me big. Taeyong-hyung almost caught me for this”. Going over her profile, I noticed that the girl, (y/n) has gone through a rough childhood.
“3 different foster homes in the span of 20 years?! Geez. Either she was trouble or those foster homes are actually as shitty as I know” I thought to myself, glancing over (y/n) who was sweating and whimpering.
Turning off the screen to my tab, I walked closer. Grabbing a soft cloth, I started to wipe the sweat that was building up on her forehead until I was close enough to hear her whimpers.
“p-please…” (y/n) whimpered. “leave my mom alone. Let me go” (y/n) suddenly screamed, jolting from the bed
“Hey, hey, no one is going to hurt you” I mentioned, looking at (y/n) who was now sitting, her chest was going up and down faster than normal
“You’re alright but I would suggest you to rest again. Let’s put you to sleep again” I mentioned, coming closer but she flinched when my hand was just reaching her shoulders
Sighing, I pulled my hands away and tucked them into my pockets. “Look. I’m a doctor here. I’m not going to hurt you or anything. If I was going to hurt you, I’d done it already” I bluntly mentioned as (y/n) just eyed me from top to bottom
“Jaemin…” she read my nametag. “You look like him. I, I thought…” (y/n) finally said a sentence
“Who? Who do I look like? What were you thinking if I look like someone?” I asked but (y/n) didn’t utter another word. “Do I look like Nam Goongmin?” I asked, the name felt foreign that my voice cracked a bit but luckily, I got some kind of answer as (y/n) nodded
“You’ve met him before” I mentioned. It wasn’t a question
Another nod which made my next sigh rougher than the previous one. “Look, if you have anything to say to me regarding him, just tell me. Or if you know about him. Or if you’re involved with him. I’m not a mind reader” I rambled
“He mentioned your name before” (y/n) finally said something again but I didn’t cut her off. I wanted her to keep talking. “He mentioned that I reminded him of his son. How I wasn’t considerate and thankful that he helped me find a foster home b-but…” (y/n) started to cry
“He helped you look for a foster home? But why? Sorry for being blunt but I doubt that he would let himself get involved with someone like you unless you or someone you know is involved with him” I mentioned
“H-he, he killed my dad and then my mom. He killed them because they worked for him but eventually cut ties with him” (y/n) cried, probably remembering the dark times she had to face
“What do you remember?” I asked, handing a clean cloth for her to wipe her tears
“My dad was his colleague. He helped supply the things that Nam Goongmin couldn’t easily get his hands on. But when I reached a certain age, my dad just cut ties with him” (y/n) added
“Were you home when your parents were killed?” I asked and (y/n) nodded
“My parents hid me, along with files of Nam Goongmin. Files that if they were to be released to the public, would ruin everything that he had built” (y/n) replied, perking up my interest
“When was the last time you saw him?” I asked, wanting to know more
“Months ago. He found me while I was working at a convenience store late at night. I didn’t know who he was at first until he brought up my parents’ name” (y/n) replied. “At first, he didn’t ask the files. He just told me about his history with my dad which honestly shocked me. I was so scared that he would do something to me but instead, he just left”
“But you mentioned that you were in foster homes? Did you run away?” I asked
“Ever since my parents passed away, which was when I was 14, I was put in an adoption center but turns out I was put into foster homes. At first, I didn’t notice anything strange until one night in my first foster home, I heard him again. I ran away after finding out. I was then put into another foster home at 15 but it was the same thing. I found out they were associated with him and ran away. The last one was the most brutal one. They didn’t sugarcoat anything and I was treated like a slave until I told them where I hid the file. When I saw a chance, I ran away once again. I managed to hide from them for the past 2 years because I ran away by the time I reached 18 years old and started working part-time in a few places. Up until now at least” (y/n) ended her story
“So, where did you actually hide the files then?” I asked as (y/n) just looked at me
“Don’t you think it’s only fair that I ask you after explaining to you, not knowing if I can trust you or not” (y/n) mentioned
“Nam Goongmin…he’s my father” I mentioned, shocking (y/n)
The next morning rolled around quicker than I wanted. I ended up not going back home and stayed in (y/n)’s room since I was the one who booked her the VIP room. While (y/n) was sleeping, I checked on all the files that Haechan sent me just to double-check her background because she could be lying and actually working with my father.
Jeno came along with Renjun and Haechan, bringing something for me to eat which I realised that I hadn’t eaten anything since the surgery the other night. The four of us sat in my office as I told them about what happened the other night.
“So her story and what Haechan sent you checked out? She’s not lying?” Renjun asked, munching on the burger that he bought upon coming to the hospital
“As far as I read the background. Yeah. Unless you have something else up your sleeve, Haechan?” I asked, looking over to him who was stuffing his face with french fries
“That’s all I found. And I’ve used the big bois. Perks of having parents that used to be in the mafia I supposed. Can manipulate what information would be put out there well until they were dead at least” Haechan shrugged
“What are you planning to do then, Jaem? I mean, you used to say that you don’t want to get involved with your dad ever again. What changed?” Jeno asked but I too didn’t quite have the answer yet
“Part of me doesn’t like the idea of what dad has become. Regardless, he was still my father and he honestly raised me well. He was there for my childhood. It was truly like he wanted me in his life. But when my mom was killed, guess that’s when he went haywire and made a killing spree. I want him to atone for what he did. Killing innocent people is wrong and he had never done it until my mom passed away” I mentioned
“So, you want to put him behind bars?” Haechan asked
“It’s more complicated…” I mumbled when a knock was heard. “Who is it?” I asked, standing from my seat, eyeing my members who suddenly went serious mode
“Dr Na, your patient is here to see you” the nurse exclaimed, making my members sigh of relief
“Yes, of course. Just bring her in” I mentioned and the nurse brought (y/n) on a wheelchair into my office. “I’ll handle it from here, you can leave” I told the nurse
“So this is the famous (y/n)” Haechan smirked while I instantly eyed him, helping (y/n) into my office
“Ignore him, he’s always that playful. I’m Renjun, that’s Jeno over there” Renjun mentioned, giving a smile at (y/n). The same goes for Jeno
“You’re the one that helped me!” (y/n) exclaimed as Jeno nodded. “That would be me. I’m glad that you’re alright now. Also, I know Jaemin might seem cold and unapproachable but he’s pretty nice” Jeno mentioned, making me groan
“I never got to thank you. Thank you, for saving me. If you hadn’t, I would’ve…” (y/n) rambled but Jeno shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Thank Jaemin as well for saving you. I just helped a bit. He’s the saviour here. I mean, he’s dubbed the miracle doctor here because the amount of times Jaemin has been able to save people who are in critical condition is crazy” Jeno mentioned, which honestly made me flustered
“I think I’m just lucky this time, to be able to meet kind people to help me” (y/n) shyly stated
“It’s not luck. No one deserves to die honestly. Anyways, you can trust my friends here. They, they know about my history with my father” I stated. “You can tell us where you hid the files and we’ll help retrieve them. I promise that there’s nothing to worry about. You’re completely safe here” I added on, making (y/n) smiled
“Thank you” (y/n) uttered. “But I’m sorry that this might seem like I’m asking a lot but actually, I hid it at my old house. The one where I used to live with my parents. I figure that it would be the best place to hide it since Nam Goongmin wouldn’t think to look at an old abandoned house where he killed people that he probably don’t remember” (y/n) explained and I looked over at Haechan who was still stuffing his face with food but his face was serious as he was typing away on his computer
“Is this the house?” Haechan asked, showing us all his laptop that showed a house. “Y-yeah, how did you?” (y/n) asked but Haechan shrugged. “It’s one of my many talents”
“Alright then, we should leave tonight. It’ll be easier so we won’t be seen” Jeno pointed out and the others started to pack their things. “I’ll also fill in Yangyang and Shotaro on our plan so that they could help with the file. Haechan, you, Renjun and Shotaro should prepare on the equipment we need. I’ll ask Yangyang for a vehicle and…” Jeno added but (y/n) cut him off
“Is, is it alright if I come along? I mean. I’m the one that knows where it’s hidden. Plus. I, I want to get something from the house” (y/n) asked
“Honestly, I don’t think it would be the best idea for you to come. You’re still injured and…” Jeno replied
“I just want to get my old family photobook. I promise that’s it” (y/n) argued
“I think it’s alright if she goes. We’ll all be there and I’ll keep a watch on her and then get her out as soon as she gets her photobook” I added on, making Jeno sigh
“Fine. But we have to move quickly. Taeyong-hyung doesn’t know about this and even if he does, we have to be fast, alright?” Jeno stated and everyone nodded
After the short meeting, I brought (y/n) back to her room, making her rest up a bit more while I went back to my office and changed into my nightwear mission gear and taking the female clothes I asked someone to buy for me to (y/n)’s room; telling her to change while we wait for Jeno to come.
“Just asking. How long have you been doing this?” I heard (y/n) asked
“For a few years. I was found by my now leader at 18 and ever since I was taken in, was taught everything I know and was given the opportunity to be something that I’ve always wanted as a kid” I told her, remembering the early days when Taeyong-hyung and Jeno first found me
“Do, do you guys like, I don’t know, kill people? Sell drugs or human trafficking?” (y/n) asked, making me chuckle at her thought. “Wh-why are you laughing? Is this all just a trick and you’re actually working with…” (y/n) rambled but I stopped her before she could say that man’s name
“No. We’re not like him. Not every mafia is bad. At least not us. I used to think the same until my leader brought me in. We’re considered a mafia group because we deal with other dirty crime organizations through some illegal methods which to the public, it might seem wrong but basically, we help the government do more of the dirty work. But we never went as far as killing. Torture? Yes. I’ll tell you that upfront. Especially to those who betray us” I explained, looking at (y/n) who looked nervous
“Don’t worry. As long as you’re not involved with the people in our wanted list, there’s nothing to worry about. Are you ready to go?” I asked as (y/n) slowly nodded
“Alright, come with me then” I mentioned, nudging (y/n) to walk right beside me. “Whatever happens there, I’ll be by your side and I expect you to do the same. Don’t walk ahead, don’t walk behind. I have to make sure that nothing happens to you, got it?” I stated as we walked into the private elevator and (y/n) nodded
Arriving at (y/n)’s house, Jeno told Haechan, Renjun and Shotaro to stay hidden as he, Yangyang, (y/n) and I go into the house and find the files along with the photobook that (y/n) wanted. Because (y/n) was the only one who knew where both the items were, we stuck close to her, practically forming a human wall around her to make sure that there weren’t any threats.
“Haechan, any sign of anyone nearby?” Jeno asked. “Nope. It’s all clear. Unless you count some stray cats nearby which they’re very big and chubby” Haechan joked
“Jaem, you accompany (y/n). Yangyang and I will stay downstairs, just in case. Once you’ve gotten the files, toss it to me and I’ll have Yangyang hand it to Haechan and the others, kay?” Jeno instructed and I nodded in acknowledgement
(y/n) and I went upstairs, and I noticed from some of the ripped, broken images that (y/n) seemed to be an only child and that there weren’t really any other family members except for her parents. “D-do you not have any like uncles or aunts to take you in at the time?” I asked as (y/n) rummage around a room that seems to be a master bedroom based on the size and linked bathroom
“Unfortunately, no. As far as I know, my parents are both only childs and even if there were, I doubt they want to take a burden in” (y/n) chuckled dryly, making me feel bad for asking
“I’m sorry to hear that but you should know that no one is a burden. Especially those under 18. You didn’t ask to be born. None of us asked for it and you shouldn’t push yourself because of what happened. This universe might’ve fucked up some things in everyone’s life but the moment you’re given just one chance to change your fate, take it. Exploit it if you can as long as you hurt no one. You deserve to enjoy your life” I stated, trying to cheer (y/n) up
“You know, I lived my life in uncertainty and everything changed with my mom was killed and I thought that this universe hated me until my now leader and Jeno found me. They gave me a new life and I’m doing much better now. Why don’t you come with us when all of this is over?” I offered, catching (y/n)’s attention
“I doubt that you guys would want me. I don’t even know what I’m good at” (y/n) replied, her voice became much softer than before
“Don’t worry about that. Everyone doesn’t know what they’re good at because they just simply were never given the chance to. But I promise you that as stone-cold as some of my members are, they are all caring for each other and would always help one another. Just consider it. And if you decided you want to, I’ll talk with my leader about it” I replied, offering (y/n) a smile, making her smile back
“T-thank you, Jaemin. Really. No one has ever offered me this far” (y/n) mentioned, making me frown
“That’s probably because they don’t understand the pain you go through; especially after losing your parents. Let’s hurry and find the file and your photobook then we can continue this conversation” I stated as (y/n) nodded
(y/n) quickly scrambled to the bed of the room and went underneath the covers, ripping it and taking something out of the mattress which turns out to be the USB. “Is that the files?” I asked as (y/n) nodded. “Yeah, I kept it here because this room and bed reminded me about my parents. How I would crawl into their room in the middle of the night because of nightmares when I was younger. And eventually sleep between them” (y/n) replied, making me smile
“Can I take the USB from you? I promise that my members and I will bring justice to your parents and all the innocent people whose life were ruined by Nam Goongmin” I stated, extending my hand as (y/n) handed the USB over
“Jen, I got it. We’re upstairs in the master bedroom. (y/n) is looking for the photobook” I stated in my earcom. “I’m going up” Jeno replied
Jeno then came within seconds and took the USB. Jeno told me to take care of (y/n) while he went to Haechan and handed the USB over to check the files before going back to the base. I told Jeno that he and Yangyang could just go with the others because (y/n) and I were only finding the photobook.
Despite being unsure of my request, Jeno eventually compiled and told me that if anything were to happen, I should just call him or the base; regardless of whether Taeyong-hyung knows or not. Because in the end, whether I like it or not, I will have to tell Taeyong-hyung about this.
After Jeno left, I continued to help (y/n) find the photobook she was looking for. We eventually turned the already messed up house into basically a destroyed ship. But luckily, we managed to find the photobook that (y/n) was looking and I instantly told the others that we were done and were going to head back to my place.
As we went downstairs, I suddenly heard a clock ticking. I looked around and saw an old grandfather clock that was ticking. Which was strange because I swore that when we all went into the house, the only noise that could be heard were our voices, the sounds of our shoes on the old hardwood floor, and even our breathing. But not once did I hear any ticking noise.
Not wanting to find out, I quickly wrapped an arm around (y/n) and dragged her out of the house. But before we could get out, the clock struck 3 am and instantly, everything became a blur. One moment I was reaching the door handle to open the door and the next, I was having a hard time breathing and was lying on my back.
Blinking several times, I tried to regain my vision after almost blacking out but everything was still a blur. My nose smelled some smoke and as I used my hands to try to get me up, I noticed that the house behind me was in flames.
Regardless of my weak state, I called out to (y/n) and tried to scan my surroundings with whatever vision I had but I felt everything spinning around and was suddenly met with a fist on my cheek; making me fall to the ground and cough up blood.
Suddenly, I felt two people holding each of my arms respectively as I was now kneeling on the ground. I tried to fight them off but knowing my weak state from the sudden explosion, I couldn’t do anything. But what caught me off-guard was the person who walked and stood right in front of me. The man who made me have my first kill, the man who I thought was good because of how he loved my mother, the man who shared the same DNA as I did. My father, Nam Goongmin.
“I thought I told you manners on how to greet your elderly, Na Jaemin” my father chuckled, grabbing a chunk of my hair, roughly pulling my head back, making me look at him
Even though my vision was still blurry, I could recognize that tone and sinister smirk from anywhere. “You don’t deserve any manners or respect from me” I coughed up, spitting some blood that landed on my father’s suit and face
“You still haven’t changed, have you? A doctor now are you?” my father stated, not really asking me
“W-was the least I could do, after what you’ve done. You can try to kill as many innocent people but I’ll be the one that’ll save them” I argued back, my father roughly letting my hair go
“Oh, you might want to save that breath of yours because you’re going to need it” my father uttered, I could feel his breath by my ear. “You and your little gang have something that I’ve been looking for years” my father whispered as I turned to eye him
“Let’s test how eager you are to save a life, shall we? That troublesome girl will be your time limit. Right now, she’s practically as injured as you are. The difference is. You’re going to be rescued by your little team while she gets to hang out with me” my father stated, making me try to release the grip of his men
“With every second you don’t come back, I’m going to draw her blood out of her. Slowly. With each day passing and you do not give me back those files, I’ll have to find out which organ I want to sell to the black market first. And if those files ever get released to the public? I’ll give you a little present. For all the years that I’ve been gone from your life” my father stated when suddenly I was injected with a sleeping drug and the grip on each of my arms were gone as I drifted off to sleep, and my body unconsciously fell to the ground with the thought of (y/n) in my mind
NCT Base - 8:25 pm (still Jaemin’s POV)
The sound of a beeping monitor slowly matched with the beat of my heart as I slowly woke up from my slumber for who knows how long. When I opened my eyes and slowly scanned the room, I noticed that I was in the patient room back in the base.
When I closed my eyes again, I remembered my father’s threat and immediately jerked on the bed. “Shit Jaemin, are you okay?! Let me get Kun-hyung” I heard Jeno stated but I managed to grip his wrist. “How long was I out?” I asked
“About more than 12 hours. Not long after we left, I felt something was off. I tried to contact you through our earcom but it was muffled. I told Haechan to just go while I drove one of our emergency borrowed cars and went back to the house. By the time I arrived, the house was in flames and you passed out on the ground, bruises and blood everywhere. But I didn’t see (y/n) at all” Jeno explained
“Shit. My dad. H-he caused the explosion. He knew that we would go to the house. He knew that (y/n) must’ve hid the files there and would have to retrieve it. Where’s the files right now?” I asked, trying to get out of bed but Jeno stopped me
“Woah. I know that your dad is insane and we should save (y/n) but you’re injured pretty badly right now. You gotta rest. Especially since you have to face…” Jeno ranted but we heard several footsteps coming into the room
“Is he awake?!” both Jeno and I heard Taeyong-hyung’s voice and suddenly the door was slammed open and Taeyong-hyung along with Kun, Mark, and Doyoung came in
“Tell me why the hell is there a 150ml of blood bag with your fucking name on it arrived at the hospital when the blood is clearly not yours?!” Taeyong-hyung demanded, showing me the blood bag
“Shit. He’s actually serious. Fuck. Hyung, where’s the files?” I asked back but Taeyong-hyung didn’t budge. “Who is he, Jaemin?! You’re my member. My core member. And Kun received this right as he finished handling another patient. So no, Jaemin, I won’t let you know anything about the files until you explain yourself” Taeyong-hyung growled and I was trying to put together some words to not make the situation worse
“He’s back isn’t he?” Taeyong-hyung stated, sending chills as I remembered the incident
“He’s after the files, isn’t he, Jaemin?” Taeyong-hyung asked as I slowly nodded. “Everyone but Jeno, out” Taeyong-hyung stated as the others left the room but Jeno. “You know something as well, Jeno. I’ll deal with the other 00 boys later” Taeyong-hyung added
“Tell me everything, Jaemin. What happened, how did you get those files, whose blood is this and what did Nam Goongmin threaten you” Taeyong demanded and I told him everything that had happened. From when Jeno brought (y/n) to the hospital to going to her house and even facing my father on my own
“I know meeting him would not end well but this?! This is out of my prediction” Taeyong-hyung grunted, messing up his hair before slicking it back again
“We can’t release the files. (y/n) would be instantly killed” I argued
“I know that. But we need to find where your father is first which Jungwoo is already in the process of finding through the satellite tracker. In the meantime, Haechan already duplicated the files and we’ll hand the original file back” Taeyong-hyung mentioned
“You figured it out when I was passed out, didn’t you, hyung?” I asked back when Taeyong-hyung explained on the current situation he’s handling which always amazed me
“I keep tabs on my members. I know about your father coming to find you because that was the reason why he sent someone to kidnap the intern under Jungwoo. But I wouldn’t expect another person outside of NCT to be involved. Guess I should’ve expected it since it already happened with Jeno and Haechan” Taeyong-hyung chuckled
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to worry you. I also didn’t expect my father to have everything figured out and was basically a step ahead of me” I grunted
“Jaemin. Whether you like it or not, your dad was in the mafia way before me and the other oldest members in the group. He might be out of touch with the current generation unlike us, but he always has that sinister, manipulative mind that somehow always manages to turn the situation around. No matter what, your dad is not someone we can take on lightly like Jeno or Haechan’s situation” Taeyong-hyung stated when suddenly we heard a knock on the door, revealing to be Jungwoo
“Hyung. I found him” Jungwoo-hyung stated and Taeyong-hyung told him to come and show us
Jungwoo-hyung came in and showed the exact location of where my father was and it turns out, he was back at my old house. The house that I abandoned since my mother was killed. “Of course he would be there” I growled
“That’s not all, Jaemin. As I found him, there was a sudden file that was delivered to me. I didn’t want to open it until I see Taeyong-hyung” Jungwoo-hyung mentioned, showing us the mystery file that he received
“Open it, Jungwoo” Taeyong-hyung mentioned and upon opening the file, I could feel my stomach twist and nearly puke upon seeing the file because it was a video of (y/n) who was unconscious and tied to a bed, getting her blood slowly drawn out and a figure coming behind her and slowly picking up a scalpel before the video went black, showing several numbers.
“Hyung…” I grunted, Jeno taking a bucket and shoving it towards me. “Go ahead, no one is going to judge you” Jeno tried to joke
“It’s a countdown” Taeyong-hyung stated. “Looks like your dad still isn’t a patient man. Are you okay to go?” Taeyong-hyung asked
“I have to. I’m not letting him kill another innocent person. Not when I can actually do something about it. I failed to protect my mom and spent the past few years to try and atone for what my father has done. I’m not going to sit this one out just because I have a few bruises and injuries” I stated, getting up from my bed
“It’ll most likely be a trap. Your dad would instantly kill her upon seeing the rest of us but if you go alone, there’s no telling what will happen. Your dad could have mercy on you but not on the girl or he might be very merciful and spare both of you. Either way, I won’t sit tight and let you handle everything alone, alright?” Taeyong-hyung stated, patting my shoulder
Jaemin’s Old House - 1:38 am
Right as my car came to a stop, I took a deep breath before walking out and facing the very problem that I’ve been running away from for the past 6 years of my life. As I slowly opened the door, memories of what used to be a happy childhood slowly flooded back but this time with the smell of dirt, trash, and even blood mixed in.
Standing by the door, I was met with multiple other men with their guns all loaded, pointing at me as I looked up at my father who was standing on the 2nd floor, looking as sharp as I remembered him from the day when I last saw him. The last day that I ever agreed to do anything with him. To get revenge on my dead mother.
“I’m assuming you come here with what I requested?” my father asked and I pulled the USB from the inner corner of my jacket, raising it up to show him
“All the files about you. About what you’ve done. About every corrupted person you have helped. Every innocent person you have killed. Every track of your dirty money in and out. Every weapon and drug you own and sell. They’re all in here” I stated, none of my father’s men lowered their weapons
“Hand over the USB and put down every weapon you have” my father instructed me. “Search him just in case” my father added
I handed the USB to one of his men as I took out my guns, knife, pepper spray, and every other weapon I had in hand. Two of his men held me by the arm and another searched me completely before taking away all of my weapons, telling my father that I was already clean.
His men who took the USB went upstairs and handed it to my father. My father then took it and plugged it into the laptop to check every single file personally. “You really have turned soft, haven’t you, Jaemin? All this information for just a girl?” my father questioned
“Just a girl? You killed her parents. She didn’t deserve to continue her life like that. She had no one. No one deserves to live like that. Just because you were like that, doesn’t mean someone else should” I argued back and without warning, my father fired a bullet that grazed my cheek
“Know your place, boy. Remember it was me that helped bring you to this world. Without me, you wouldn’t be alive or breathing right now. Her father wasn’t as innocent if she ever told you the truth, that is. His father was associated with me as in they were the ones that sourced all the weapons and drugs that I sell. So, regardless, they weren’t all that good” my father argued back as well
“Doesn’t mean you should kill them. No one deserves to be killed” I stated but what my father said next hit me more than a bullet would. “Yet your mother was killed”
“If you recall, your mother was murdered, Na Jaemin. She didn’t die due to some illness or of old age. She was murdered cold-blooded. She did nothing wrong yet she was still murdered. You’re only partially right. Not everyone deserves to be killed. Some do” my father stated.
“As shitty as some people are, including you, no one still deserves to be killed” I stood my argument
“You sure about that? Don’t you remember the time when you practically forced yourself to come with me to find your mother’s killer? That you wanted to pull the trigger yourself. Yet, it didn’t satisfy you enough, did it? If anything, you’ve always been a coward. I taught you everything. Yet, you never dared to go above and beyond” my father complained
“My mother never taught me to do anything bad. Plus, she was the reason why you were also soft at some point in your life. She would be disappointed with how you’ve changed. At least I’m trying to atone for what you and I did” I taunted, making my father’s demeanour change. His gaze got darker and scarier.
“Don’t talk about her as if you know about our history. As if you understand what it feels like to have someone part of you being ripped away after all that you’ve been through to change for them” my father admitted; a side of him that I didn’t really know of
“Who says?! My mother is a part of me. Heck, 50% of my DNA is from her. She was my number one supporter and she was my everything. The first woman I love. You and I are the same in terms of looks, some of our traits, and our love for the same woman. The big difference is how we cope with that loss” I mentioned. “As much as I hate the man you’ve become, it saddens me more because no matter what, you’re still my father. So stop this nonsense and just turn yourself in” I tried to reason but instead, my father let out a rather maniac laugh
“There’s another difference between you and I. Your mother might be your first love. But she’s my first and last. Like you said, my parents weren’t really there for me and when I met your mother, that’s when I actually knew what love actually is. Until she was murdered that is. So, Na Jaemin. You want to understand what it feels like to go through what I went through? Let me show you then” my father stated, confusing me
My father went into one of the rooms and not long after, he came back, dragging a way smaller yet weak figure than him to his side which made my whole body shudder as I saw (y/n)’s paled and injured face was being held between one of my father’s hand.
“You said that you wouldn’t hurt her if I gave you the files” I growled, punching and kicking both men who were holding me down, finally breaking free of their grip and immediately there was smoke covering the entirety of the house
Within seconds, each of my father’s men was knocked out by my group and Taeyong-hyung’s additional reinforcements. Once the smoke cleared up, everyone pointed their weapon towards my father as Taeyong stepped into the scene.
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“Nam Goongmin. I didn’t expect for us to ever meet again ever since you nearly killed your own son” Taeyong-hyung mentioned. “Let the girl go and turn yourself in. You promised you wouldn’t kill her”
“I only said I would kill her if those files were released. Nothing more. But since you’re all here, you broke the agreement first, Jaemin” my father stated, making my jaw clench. “You want to understand my pain? Then let me show you” my father then stabbed (y/n) in the back and immediately pulled the scalpel out, making her bleed even more blood
Immediately, I rushed upstairs and shoved my father away, catching (y/n) in my arms when suddenly my father shoved me again and started a fight with me
Thankfully, Jeno, Shotaro, and Jaehyun-hyung came and helped bring (y/n) away from the fight between my father and I. Though I was already trained in combat and my father had already age, he still managed to get me out of breath.
My father’s aims were sharp and strong which made me have to go into defence mode until I saw an opening and kicked him on the side of his ribs, which made him stumble backwards. Immediately, I took my chances and threw several more punches which hit and eventually, I managed to pin him on the ground, using my knee to pin his chest down, making it hard for him to breathe while my left arm was right on his neck, barely allowing my father to even speak.
“I think you should be by her side, doctor. Unless of course, you want to feel the exact pain that I felt” my father managed to choke out, tears somehow forming in my eyes
“Jaemin!! You have to operate on (y/n) right now. She already lost so much blood and while we’ve stopped it, it won’t last long” Taeyong-hyung stated as some of his reinforcements came and handled my father
“You should listen to your leader, doctor. Unless you want to relive the time when you couldn’t save someone” my father taunted and Taeyong-hyung covered him from my sight. “Go. I managed to bring a decent amount of tools for you to operate. The guys also managed to find the same blood type as her. I’ll deal with your dad” Taeyong-hyung mentioned, ushering me to quickly go
“Hyung. Thank you. And don’t kill my father. As shitty as what he did, I still stand my ground. I’m not going to kill him and no one is allowed to kill him. He’s still my father after all” I mentioned, looking back at Taeyong-hyung then seeing the other men take my father away
Rushing to the room that my members brought (y/n) in, I immediately put on a mask and gloves before getting to work. Though not all of my members know how the surgery procedure works, I’ve done operations on other people alone before.
I saw the monitor that checked all of (y/n)’s blood condition and they were all very low. First things first, I had to do the blood transfusion quickly before operating on the wound. After setting up the blood bag and putting the IV into (y/n)’s blood vessel, I told Shotaro to eye the blood bag and tell me when it was running low so I could give another blood bag.
As the blood transfusion was happening, I immediately got to work with the wound. I made sure that none of her vital organs were hit before actually stitching her up. I didn’t know how long I was stitching (y/n) while also giving her blood transfusion but at some point, the monitor suddenly beeping like crazy which made me worry.
“Jaem…her blood pressure is decreasing and so is her heart rate. Are there any other scars or wounds she has?” Jeno asked and I instantly scanned her entire body once again and the tab about her past conditions but nothing checked up; it was as if her body was giving up on its own
“Nothing, Jen. She has no wounds, no allergies, no sudden reaction. Her body, its slowly giving up. I’ve only heard several cases of patients whose consciousness just shut down their whole body. I, I didn’t think I would see it happen in front of me” I stuttered, my hands were now shaking
“Jaemin, I know this might sound crazy but you have to talk to her. She might be unconscious but her consciousness is alive and she could most probably hear you. You have to convince her to fight through it” Jaehyun-hyung mentioned and I was a shaking mess
Putting my tools down, I stood right beside (y/n). I grabbed one of her hands and leaned down by her ear. “Hey. I’m not sure if you can hear me but I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn’t give up. I know that we barely met but when you told me what happened to you, I felt that no one was ever able to understand you unlike I do. When you told me what my father did to your family, it made me feel obligated to take care of you. It might seem that I’m doing this to repay what my father did but honestly, I want to help you. You weren’t ever given the chance to enjoy your life” I held (y/n)’s hand with both of mine, squeezing it
“I know that I’ve told you this before but I want to say it again, I want to remind you if you feel that you want to give up. I was at that point as well. I was truly lucky to be able to have a leader and friends that helped me find a new purpose and that alone drove me to help others. You want to know what I want to be a surgeon? It’s not to only save people but I want to give them hope, to give them a second chance in their life when no one else would. I want to help them heal from their trauma just as I want to help you. So please, don’t give up just yet. Let me take care of you and give you the life you deserve. Let me be the one to heal your trauma just as my members healed mine” I rambled, hoping that whatever I said actually got to (y/n)’s consciousness
Somehow, as crazy as Jaehyun-hyung idea was, my voice somehow got through (y/n) and the monitor was suddenly stable once again. Letting out a sigh of relief, I looked at (y/n)’s calmer face and looked at Jaehyun-hyung and Jeno who both told me that I was good to continue.
Thankfully, throughout the rest of the operation, (y/n) was stable and I finished operating on her quicker than usual. Not long, we had some backup to help bring (y/n) and my father’s men back to our base.
Back at the base, everyone cleaned up but I immediately made sure that (y/n) was taken care of. I didn’t even care that I was still in my uniform and covered in dirt, scars, and blood. What matters most is that (y/n) was in a comfortable room, being treated and stable.
I even waited for Kun-hyung to confirm that (y/n) was indeed stable and that all she needed was some rest before actually being dragged out of the room and shoved into our shower room to shower by Jeno.
“You finally done?” Jeno asked as I got changed and dried my hair
“Yeah. You wouldn’t even let me leave until I actually freshen up” I grumbled, annoyed that Jeno and the others wouldn’t let me stay until (y/n) was awake
“Because you reek. You really think (y/n) would want to be next to you when you look and smell like blood, sweat, and tears?” Jeno sarcased
“How is she? Stable right?” I asked, putting my uniform to the dirty basket for laundry later
“Yeah. Kun-hyung actually mentioned that her fingers were moving a bit which means she’s going to wake up soon” Jeno mentioned as I hummed. “What are you going to do with your dad though? Taeyong-hyung practically chained him up and well, the usual. Taeyong-hyung didn’t hurt him too badly, if that’s what you’re worried” Jeno rambled
“Honestly, I’m not sure yet. I don’t want to kill him that’s for sure, I…” I replied when the door was flung open and Renjun came in panting. “She’s awake and Taeyong-hyung is with her”
Within seconds of Renjun coming to tell us that (y/n) was awake, I wasted no time in rushing to her room and seeing Taeyong-hyung beside her. “Relax. I’m not tormenting her, Jaemin. Excuse him, he sometimes look into things a bit too deeply” Taeyong-hyung mentioned and I heard a soft chuckle
When I walked to the side, I saw (y/n) sitting on the bed, her face looked brighter and fresher than hours ago. “Hey” I called out to her, offering a soft smile which she replied back
“I’ll leave you both alone now. Jaemin, when you’re done, my office, alright?” Taeyong-hyung mentioned before leaving me with (y/n) in the room
I pulled a chair and sat next to (y/n). “How are you? How are you feeling? Any parts of your body that hurt?” I asked and (y/n) softly shook her head
“I’m okay. Thank you” (y/n) stated, making me smile. “T-thank you, for saving me” (y/n) uttered out and I immediately took her hands in mine
“No, thank you, for staying strong. I’m not sure if you heard what I said to you when you were unconscious but I promise you that I’ll help you get back up. I’ll help you get the life you’ve wanted. Not because I feel obligated for what my father has done but because you deserve it and maybe because I can relate to you. Only if you allow me to help you, that is?” I rambled on and (y/n) held my hand tighter
“I’d like that. But I also want you to share your burden too” (y/n) uttered, making me smile wider, pressing my forehead onto hers. “As long as you let me take care of you and your trauma” I replied. For the first time, I felt calmer and more at peace since a long time.
NCT Prison - 12:18 am
Though I’ve been through these empty halls, I typically walk through them with my members to torment one of our prisoners. But this time, walking alone felt foreign. It reminded me of the day I left my home on my own. When there was no one to help me at all. But this time it was different. I wasn’t the same boy who ran away from his problems.
No. I decided I was finally going to put an end to it. By going in and facing the man who was both someone I used to look up to and someone that I despised.
“I’m amazed that you actually came. I thought you’d let your leader and other members do as they please with me” my father stated, locked within one of the cages of the prison
“I wouldn’t let them do that. Unlike you, father, who almost killed their own son, I would never let you get killed by my own members. As much as I despised you, you’re still my father. You said it yourself. I’m your son” I started out
“So then what? Are you going to torture me now? Your leader already has my files and most probably he’s going to release it tomorrow along with a statement that I’ve fallen and been captured. Then are you going to kill me by yourself? Is that why you’re not letting your members kill me?” my father questioned me
“I’m not going to kill you. Sure, my leader is going to open up and give a statement regarding his recent findings about you. But I told him that whatever he tells to the public will just be for the public because…I’ve already lost one parent. I don’t intend to lose another” I uttered, my father finally looking at me
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“You might not be the best father but at some point, you raised me well. I know you love mom so much and you miss her just as I do but I know that mom would have never wanted us to be like this. She would have wanted both of us to be able to move on and live our lives. Not hating each other. Not chasing each other. We don’t even have to like each other or what we do but I know that mom would have wanted us to just try and get along. And that’s what I plan on doing” I ranted
“You can think that I’m weak or anything you want. But I hope that someday, you’ll be able to see me as your son who only wanted his dad. Not his father. I hope that you will be able to go back to the time when you were happy with mom but this time with me. And I hope that one day, you’ll admit your mistakes and apologise for what you’ve done. Not to me. I’ve gotten over that a long time ago. But to those who you’ve hurt and traumatised” I rambled on before slightly bowing to my father, about to leave but stopped upon hearing my father spoke
“You’re wrong, Jaemin. You’re not my son. You’re mine and your mother’s son. And whether you think that I was going to kill you that day. I wasn’t. Just like you, I was angry at what happened. And was pissed that you cowardly left me. But never did I ever think to kill you. Even now. I would have never killed the one person who reminded me of what your mother and I were like when we first fell for each other” my father finally spoke in a softer tone, making me turn to face him
“But you’re right. I was a shitty father when I should’ve been more of a dad to you. For that, I’m sorry. But I’m glad that you got more of your mother’s side. I’m glad that you grew up well. Your mom might hate me but I know for sure that she’s proud of the man you’ve become” my dad stated, actually smiling a bit which made me smile
“Thanks. I’ll um, talk to you again soon. I hope you do reflect on your mistakes. See you soon, dad” I uttered, leaving my dad, finally getting over the trauma that I’ve been holding onto for years
A/N: hopefully you guys enjoy this other long mafia fic of mine. I swear I will make a whole mini mafia series masterlist. After my 100th post which will be coming in December. I'm sorry that I've been slow on my stories and have only been posting like once a month but somehow, I ended up writing this mini mafia series which while fun, takes quite a while to write as I want them to somewhat interconnect with one another. Alright, before I go, I'm gonna give a mini sneak peek at my 100th post which will be another mafia series. Thank you all, have a great day and stay safe xoxo vinet
Sneak Peek for 100th Post
“Yo, John, doesn’t she look a bit too young to be working a a club?” Jaehyuna asked, looking over to a young girl wearing the waitress uniform, serving some drinks to old sweaty men
Johnny who was just trying to drink and enjoy his night eventually followed Jaehyun’s gaze and landed on the girl that Jaehyun was describing.
Sure, Johnny might’ve opened his own bar with Taeyong’s permission but that doesn’t mean that he allows just about anyone to work in his bar. And while he doesn’t deal with all the miscellaneous work in the bar, he surely memorises his staff and the girl Jaehyun pointed out was never in any parts of Johnny’s memory.
Instead of confronting the girl, Johnny immediately called another waiter to get the current manager and question the girl whom he learned was technically legal to work in a bar as she was 21+ and the manager mentioned that she was only a part-timer on the weekends since they needed more help.
Right when the manager was explaining to Johnny, he saw one of the old men put their hands on the girl’s bare thigh which scared the girl. Angered at the behaviour, Johnny stood up and stomped his way to the scene before the man could go any further.
“This is an exclusive bar and I make sure that all of my staff are always on their best service. But that doesn’t mean that you could just harass them like this” Johnny growled, gripping the older man’s arm tightly that the people nearby could hear a bone crack
“Especially when it’s an old man harassing a young girl” Johnny grunted, pushing the man that he fell off his chair; the other men around the table started to get up, about to put up a fight when Jaehyun came beside Johnny, shielding the girl
“I suggest you all sit your old sweaty asses down unless you want your old bones to be broken” Jaehyun taunted. “Or shall we call Taeyong? Because he’s the co-owner of this bar and I don’t think he would be pleased that his supposed business partners were in his bar, harassing a girl”
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neopuppy · 2 years
Text
Beatbox (M)
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preview: “Hey hey, you a new transfer?”
The boy next to you appears horrified, offended with his jaw hung loose. Round eyes more pronounced behind bifocal frames, he splutters, licking at his prominent two front teeth. “I’ve been in this class all year! You transferred into my grade! 10 years ago!”
“Huh?” You shrug, prodding the inside of your cheek in thought. “Really? Weird.”
“Y-yo-you have to be joking!”
“Anyway,” you flick his chin, smirking. “I need a tutor.”
pairing: Jaemin x female reader
word count: 6k+
genre: college AU, nerdy Jaemin, y/n a meanie, crackish, one shot, it’s filth…yay nana day🥳💕
smut warnings: switching, oral, grappling(headlocks, chokeholds, thigh crushing, full nelson, pinning, etc), degradation, competitive rough sex, breeding, spit, use of ‘bunny’, submission
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‘If you fail your political history course, I have to sit you out for the upcoming season.’
“Who even studies this shit.” The sheet filled with requirements to continue competing with your varsity wrestling team wrinkles between your fingers.
Three of your courses blared at you, circled with vibrant red sharpie to add more threat behind your coaches words.
‘If you don’t pick up your fucking slack asap, say goodbye to competing in the championship finals.’
No amount of kicking at your locker and swinging your backpack around on your way to class assisted in relieving any of your frustration.
If only you had a dick, fat chance any guy on the boys wrestling team had to worry about their grades. Everyone knew the dean favored his beloved male athletes, bragged and boasted about across states through various top leading universities.
“A tutor” you murmur, rolling your eyes. Reprimanded and put on time-out until you have at the least found a tutor. Either miss out on one of the biggest tournaments in the upcoming weeks, or get your ass a tutor to help you pass your mid-terms.
Someone smart, obviously, a full fledged nerd with their nose buried in a book.
Hmm, no, not Renjun… he hadn’t even made top of your class last year.
Definitely not that pervert Haechan that got caught behind the bleachers jerking off..
Glancing around, you begin to weigh your options.
Jeno, he’s a brain, but he still had tape holding his glasses together after you snapped them in half two months ago. His fault for getting in your way and making you late to practice.
A bleached blonde head of hair and a pile of books masking your potential essential nerd grabs your eye.
The communist manifesto hovers before his face, allowing you enough of a view of thin rimmed silver lenses and eyebrows furrowed deep in concentration. Sneakily you move over to the closest seat near him, silently rejoicing when you spot a pocket protector sitting on his chest.
Perfect.
“Hey hey, you a new transfer?”
The boy next to you appears horrified, offended with his jaw hung loose. Round eyes more pronounced behind bifocal frames, he splutters, licking at his prominent two front teeth. “I’ve been in this class all year! You transferred into my grade, 10 years ago!”
“Huh?” You shrug, prodding the inside of your cheek in thought. “Really? Weird.”
“Y-yo-you have to be joking!”
“Anyway,” you flick his chin, smirking. “I need a tutor.”
The blonde before you grows more indignant, fumbling to set a bookmark in place and fully turn to face you.
“Why would I help you?!” He scoffs, pushing his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. “You pulled down my pants at our 8th grade dance! In front of the entire school!”
“That was you?!”
“And then you poured punch on me! And told everyone I pissed myself!” He stammers, tapping one of his loafers with each shake of his leg.
“There’s no way that was you!” You giggle, waving him off. “That was this dork Jaem—“
“Jaemin!” He hisses, ripping off his glasses to fix you with a steely look. “Me!”
“Oh my god?? Why are you blonde?” You snort, reaching to stroke the peach fuzz decorating the side of his face. “You need to bleach this too furball.”
Jaemin rustles, smacking your hand away with his lips pursed together, appearing more and more perturbed by everything you say. “Don’t touch me!”
Letting out a sarcastic filled coo you lean in closer, pinching at his cheek. “Aw, did I upset the bunny?”
His eyelids push so far back that you’re surprised when his eyes stay put, expecting for them to fall out and bounce on his notebook.
“What did you just call me?” He says incredulously, grasping onto your wrist tightly.
“Damn, this nerd has some strength,” you cringe, shaking him off. Weakly punching at his arm only to feel overtaken with disbelief again, digging a finger in as you pout wondering why he feels so firm, too firm for a nerd..
“I said stop touching me!” He glowers, forcefully ripping your arm away. “Go away! I do not want to help you in any way!”
“Aw come onnnn, pleaseeee bunny?”
“Stop calling me that!” He hisses, inching closer to speak sternly. “Why do you keep calling me that?!”
Sticking out the top row of your teeth, you tap at the first two and proceed to form bunny ears with your index and middle finger. “You act like one too, vicious and temperamental..”
“Listen,” he snaps before your face, nearly chopping your nose in the process. “I am not going to tutor you! and stop calling me a bunny!”
Hope seems lost until you notice a crimson flush spiking up from his nape. Jaemin’s gaze bounces, clearing his throat as he reaches for his book, faint shades of pink burn at his cheeks, reaching up to the corners of his nose.
“Aww, you like it!” You laugh, scooting closer for your leg to drape over his. “Hear me out bunny, if you help me out, I’ll help you out.”
“I don’t need nor want your help.” He mutters, refusing to meet your stare any longer. Aware of the blush taking over his face destroying the facade he continues on with.
“That’s not true, and you know how I know that?”
Sighing, his chin dips in, frustrated by his curious subconscious. “How.”
“Who else was going to let you know that your fuzzy sideburns give away that the curtains do not match the drapes?” You joke, digging your elbow into his side. Breaking into a round of giggles at the sight of his front teeth poking out again with his mouth hung open.
“Listen, bunny boy, my coach is up my ass about finding a tutor. Just swing by at the end of practice so I can tell him someone with a 4.0 gpa has agreed to help me.” You plead, squeezing at his arm again with confusion. “Why do you feel like that?”
Jaemin throws a hissy fit, shimmying out of your grip once again while snarling in a much too cute way for you to take seriously. “No! Now go away you damn cretin!”
“Hear me out!” You grunt, rolling your eyes. “I know the captain of the football team gives you a swirly every Monday morning.”
Jaemin’s jaw drops yet again, beginning to hate himself for not just getting up and moving away. Starting to find one of your bullies attractive had to make him sick in the head somehow. “Why do you know that?! You just asked me if I transferred!”
“Uh.. selective memory.” You shrug, playing it off with a wide smile. “Anyway, what if I can get him to stop?”
His ears perk up at that, flitting a shifty gaze your way. “You can’t.”
“Oh, trust me, I can. He’s wanted me to suck his dick since the first day of Uni.” You nod mischievously, wiggling your eyebrows.
Jaemin slumps deeper into his seat, contemplating how late it’s making him, having to rush to lecture after rinsing and restyling his hair.
“You know, toilet water is terrible for a fried bleached scalp.”
“My hair is not fried!” He barks, nose scrunched up adorably in irritation.
“You’re right, it looks great..” you note, testing a silky tuft of locks between two fingers. “Kind of weird for a nerd to care this much about his looks though..”
Jaemin jerks away, glaring at you for the name. “Applying for internships has been hard..”
“Ahh, well the blonde looks great on you at least.” Giving him a thumbs up, you invade his space once again. “So, how about it? No more toilet diving if you tutor me??”
He sighs again, expression full of thought as he pouts and aggressively taps at the end of his pen.
“Fine.” His shoulders drop, feeling tense and uncomfortable by the proximity you’ve kept up for much for too long at his side now. Not missing the way your fingers kneaded at his bicep earlier or the intrigued ‘hmm’ tickling at the back of your throat.
“Great! Come by the gym at 4!”
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Jaemin trudges toward the gym hall, retelling the memories of his first year when Haechan had convinced him to join him and peep on the girls wrestling team practice from behind the bleachers.
His throat dries, regretting every life decision he’s ever made as he steps inside and spots you choking another girl down onto the ground under your armpit. Deeply swallowing, he settles at the corner of the bleachers uncomfortably. Unable to even pretend that he’s not fascinated by the way you grunt and scream like a wild animal with a mouthguard in as you throttle your opponent down.
Jaemin hates the way he has to tug at his collar, clearing his throat while blinking away to calm his excitement. This was all Haechan’s fault, always going on about how hot wrestling porn is, especially when the girl in the video starts off strong only to lose and get annihilated by a huge cock.
“I’ve never wanted anything more.” His friend said while peering through small open spaces from behind a set of bleachers. “Look at that one.”
Haechan nudges his chin in your direction, grappling down your opponent with a shout and slamming your fists on your chests like a beast. “Bet she would be so fun to fucking ruin.”
Jaemin hates that his friend was right. Even now as he watches you jump up from the ground showing off your flexibility with a cocky grin; he can’t help but think about it. How exhilarating and hot it would be to experience you trying to take him down. Fight him with that same smile stretching your mouth in a crass way, disgusting how full of yourself you are. The way you walk around thinking you’re hot shit and no one can touch you.
Too deep in his head, Jaemin manages to miss you walking right up to him. Shaking out of his thoughts as you let out a boisterous obnoxious laugh and point at his lap.
“Are you seriously fucking hard from watching me practice!?” You shout out much too loud, humiliating him as your teammates all glance over and begin to laugh.
“Ugh. Fucking nerds are all the same.” Your friend taunts passing by on her way to the locker room. “Just like that other one that thinks we can’t hear him busting a nut behind the bleachers.”
Punching at his shoulder, you laugh more, clutching your stomach and wiping at tears before they can run down your cheeks. “That’s so cute bunny, you wanna wrestle me or something?”
Jaemin’s mouth opens. Opens and slams shut repeatedly, lost for words as he drags a heated gaze over your sweat soaked uniform. Spending too much time admiring the fold between your thighs wedged up nicely between your…
“Dude, what the fuck? Quit staring at my vag like that.” You punch him again, whistling for your coach to come over and meet your ‘tutor’.
Jaemin jumps up, standing by your side with false confidence. “Maybe I do!”
“What was that now, bunny?”
“Stop calling me that!” He huffs, balling up his fist. “I could wrestle you, and I’ll beat you.”
“Excuse me?!” You snort, fixing him with amused wide eyes. “Are you serious right now?”
“I am.” He says, nodding and pursing his lips to appear tough. “If you pass your mid-term, then you owe me a match.”
Nerves rise fast as your coach approaches, spluttering, too stunned to think over what he’s said. “You have a thing for girls beating your ass?”
Jaemin’s nose twitches, eyes thinning as he shoves against your side. “We have a deal or what?”
“Fine!” You panic, rushed to answer while waving at your coach. “I got a tutor!”
Between fake smiles and quickly falsifying study sessions, you end up actually taking on tutoring lessons.
“Why do you have a wrestling mat in your basement?” Jaemin asks one day, following you through your house to the second room you have taken over for practice purposes.
“The better to wrestle you with.” You wink, nudging his side. “I’m studying hard just to whoop your cute blonde bunny ass.”
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“What happens if I lose?” Jaemin questions, cracking his toes against the wrestling mat laid out in your basement.
“What do you mean ‘what if?’, you still think you have even the slightest chance to beat me?” You sneer. Too cocky for your own good as you squat with your legs stretched to loosen your hips. Predicting you will need the extra help if things go as you’ve planned.
Jaemin’s gaze shifts, bouncing around the room he’s helped you study in over the past couple of weeks. Toying with the zipper cool against his throat as he realizes how ridiculous this situation is.
“Listen, I don’t think this is a good idea.” He reiterates, briskly eyeing the loose sweats hiding what he assumes is your spandex wrestling uniform.
“It’s okay to lose, bunny.“ you wink, standing up to discard the zip-up hoodie covering up a skin-tight fitted one piece. Snug in all the right places to have his throat visibly bob the second he spots your smooth skin, lathered in lotion you noticed he seemed to enjoy the scent of the last time you wore it during a study session.
“I’ll go easy on you.” With a coy smile you shove down your bottoms just enough to give him peeks of your naked hips. The majority of the lycra fabric has bunched up, riding up your ass in a lewd way that makes Jaemin clear his throat, averting his focus to the ground.
“I truly have no idea how you passed your mid-term.” Jaemin rolls his eyes, stretching back his shoulders as he reaches to unzip his sweater.
The prideful grin bunching your cheeks slowly falls apart, drooping comically the more he unveils planes of flesh; sculpted and carved to perfection from long hours spent lifting weights.
Jaemin lets his jacket slip down his arms, standing proud with a blank face as your jaw hangs. It takes more restraint than he imagined to control the twitch pinching at his mouth, avoiding the intense stare tracing from his lengthy throat, pronounced Adam’s apple, broad shoulders and thick chest trapped between bulging biceps.
“What the fuck.” You announce, breathlessly. “What the fuck dude?!”
Jaemin shrugs, breaking into a smile that scrunches his nose, pushing his glasses up higher between his brows. “You’ll go easy on me, right?”
Jaemin’s buff. A fucking buff nerd that’s never once mentioned that he took up absorbing protein shakes like water and bulking up at the gym after long days filled with studying and schoolwork.
“Hey.” He pushes your chin before your tongue can loll out like a thirsty dog. “Try not to look so shocked, it’s kind of rude.”
“Why—” you gulp, finally snapping out of it enough to toe off your sweats and kick them aside. “Why the fuck are you this yolked?!”
Jaemin shrugs, unzipping his bottoms to further make you shrivel, lowering his jeans to show off the tiniest pair of spandex shorts. They dig into his upper thigh, cutting at the flexed muscle framing the thick shape between.
“Oh come on!”
He chuckles, bending over to strip the rest of his clothing off. Balling up his outfit to throw aside, he stands straight in all his glory, cut and ripped leading up to a soft round face and doe eyes, front teeth digging into his lower lip.
“You’re fucking with me.” You utter, cleaning off imaginary drool from your chin.
“Not yet..” Jaemin cocks a brow, cracking his neck side to side. “I got tired of not fighting back, so I started working out.”
He shrugs, done explaining more when he recalls that you are one of the many who tormented him over the years. Making fun of him without care, invisible to you unless it was to pick on him.
“That makes sense.” You murmur to yourself, kicking out your legs before settling in a lowered stance, preparing to take down your larger opponent. “Guess I won’t be taking it very easy on you after all.”
“Won’t you spare me?” He smirks, bending at his knees with his arms lifting to grab you and tackle you down.
Jaemin gulps to contain his nerves, thankful for the shadow falling on his glasses beneath the dim lighting fanned throughout the room. His throats already began to dry, flitting over your breasts obscenely squeezed out, shoved together creating perfect perky fat mounds ready to be choked between his fingers.
Time to size up your competitor goes to complete shit. Jaemin’s thick beyond comprehension. Corded muscles strain up his thighs to narrow hips and a tight little waist dipping in such an absurd way. His frame widens ridiculously, more ridiculous than the situation you’ve put yourself in as a mere joke.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Licking at your lips, you begin to circle him, following suit as he mimics your motions.
Inhaling a deep breath, you meet his gaze, lowering your chin for intimidation. “Hey, Jaemin.”
“Huh?”
You almost feel sorry attacking his weak spot by throwing him off. It’s playing dirty, but you know there’s no better way to get him plastered on his back. Tackled down onto the mat with your face buried in his chest, Jaemin lets out a gust of air. Caught off guard as you ram him down in one fell swoop.
He grunts, the back of his head bouncing off the mat; realizing he should have suffered itchy burning eyeballs and opted for contact lenses today.
“Amateur,” you groan, tethering his forearms together. Each muscle lining your back screams, flexing as you attempt to take control by slotting your hips against his. “Shouldn’t be s-so cocky—“
Jaemin growls, huffing out another breath to blow his bangs off of his forehead. Jerking his hips up to jostle your weight to the side brings on instant regret, muffling a curse by locking his lips. His cock fattens, searing heat pulses from the tip of his length to his navel.
“F-fuck,” you grit, pressing harder onto his crossed arms until his chest caves. “Playing dirty won’t help you win.”
Jaemin’s breath lodges, clenching the backs of his teeth as he bends his knees. His heels dig into the mat, hoisting up with more force until you topple over and lose your balance, fast as he escapes your grip and grabs onto your shoulders and plants your back flat.
“Playing dirty?” He asks, licking at his front teeth.
Jaemin circles your thighs, pushing them open to space an area for himself between your legs. He hovers near your lips, glasses slipping lower, just above the tip of his nose. “Like you distracting me with your entire ass out? What the fuck are you even wearing, huh?”
“Get off of me!” You say with clamped teeth, only bringing amusement to his face as his biceps bracket your head. “This is a normal uniform!”
“Yeah,” he laughs, using the end of your nose to set his glasses back into place. His hips roll, a focused control freezing your lower half down as his knees burn against the mat, turning sticky with moisture secreting. “A normal uniform for some slut doing wrestling porn. That’s what this is for you, isn’t it?”
He finishes the question with a pointed grind, cock nestled against your clothed core further burying the material of your suit between your folds. “Between the two of us, you know who lacks brains here.”
Jaemin’s gaze darkens, lowering closer until his bottom lip runs between the seam of your mouth. Fitting together deliciously, wet from sweat gathering on both of your upper lips and saliva clinging to the tips of your tongues.
He can feel it, hot and humid against his groin. Your pussy spreading over his shorts, clit incessantly rubbing on your suit with each little shift.
“Ugh, f-fucking nerd.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you struggle by jostling your lower half as much as you can. Barely fazing him as he licks down your chin, forming a trail of drool down to the middle of your neck hollowing in for him to lap at. The sweat pooled there tastes savory at first, hit by a bitter aftertaste from the alcohol in your scented lotion. Fitting for you, sour and sweet as you’ve acted with him.
“Call me a nerd again.” He pushes up, causing your eyebrows to twist as his chest pumps out. Pecs hard as a rock, nipples pointed like icicles despite the heat gathering between your bodies. “See what happens.”
“Oooh, s-so scared,” you choke, Jaemin grabbing onto your throat when you try to sit up and shove him off. “I’ll break your glasses, see how tough you f-feel.”
Your taunting only eggs him on, ferociously pushing his side against your inner thigh until your centers fully exposed for him to press three digits against your exposed folds. Gliding up to pinch your suit around your clit until your feet slip and you kick at the mat.
“Get this wet for a fucking nerd huh?” He jeers, rolling your bundle of nerves under the damp fabric. “Maybe that’s why you bullied me, wanted me to fuck that bratty better-than-you attitude out of you.”
All you can do is struggle, attempting to dislodge your throat from his menacing hold, only seeping his fingers further into the veins rapidly pulsating up the sides of your neck.
“If only it had been the other way around,” he goes on mocking, blurring over your clit faster and faster until you’re coughing between trapped moans. “Imagine if I bullied you, getting your revenge on me years later by cornering me and fucking me until I’m incapable or forming a sentence.”
His speech lands on muted ears, passing through a thick fog of arousal that clogs up your senses, too focused on how thick his forearm looks. The veins rippling upward toward his meaty bicep shout at you, pumping full of anger with each flick of his wrist.
“You’re right, I got hard watching you practice.” He confesses, turning his hips for you to feel his chubbed up girth against your inner thigh. “Wanna know why?”
Gurgling escapes you, licking at the roof of your mouth to suppress another embarrassing sound from passing. He laughs, sharp teeth gleaming as they catch the light. “Because..”
Gathering the seat of your bottoms, he tugs at the material with a balled up fist. Ripping roughly at it to make you writhe and squeal in pain, burning against your clit with each pull. “This is why, to see you like this. So fucking full of yourself, but you can’t even pass a stupid test without a nerds help.”
Mesmerized by your folds swelling up around your suit, Jaemin’s waist bends in, momentarily forgetting about his grip on your neck; just enough to give you leeway to push up on your elbows and regain control.
It’s easy to pin Jaemin down again, startling him with power he wished to assume you lack. He curses when you fling him down roughly and mount his chest. Gathering fistfuls of his sweaty blonde locks, you rip at his scalp until he’s whining, elongated neck arched back releasing an obscene moan between his pretty pink lips. Ragged breath spills from your chest, working hard to maneuver forward until your inner thighs clap against his cheeks. Slotting your suit aside too fast for Jaemin to even let out a gasp of surprise.
Smashing your core down against his mouth sends a hiss flying out of you, grinding down hard despite the ridges of his teeth scraping along your clit. He muffles, flailing beneath you, glasses fogged up with slick and heat radiating from your lower half. A relieved laugh sounds, nodding as you work to crush your thighs around him to a suffocating point.
“Bunny talks tough—“ you grit, gyrating against his tongue until he groans. Losing your train of thought once again when his tongue curves, applying pressure against your entrance until you give. Loosening up and relaxing enough to push through. “Fuck.”
Jaemin can’t complain, even as he struggles to breathe through his nose, stuffed full of your clit rubbing incessantly against him. He’s crazed, determined to stretch his jaw until it breaks under your unforgiving thrusts.
Behind your back his knees bend, angling his hips up to fuck at nothing but air. Desperate as he slaps a merciless grip on your ass, repeating it until you get the message to ride his tongue.
Securing one hand on his head, you pull harder, using the hold to control your motions. His tongue wiggling between your walls while passing vibrating grunts, raspy broken whimpers. The unexpected slap you deliver between his thighs has him coughing, choking and screaming finding it impossible to swallow a long enough breath.
“Little b-bunny can’t even handle f-fighting a girl can he?” You scramble to taunt him, whimpering as he manages to dislodge his tongue and suck on your clit. Spreading your ass apart to have your hole pulse open against his chin as he uses every inch of his face to rub and flick. Messy, fucking disgusting with a pleased gleam hiding under splattered lenses.
Jaemin’s teeth nip, lapping side to side on your clit before he wraps his lips again. A mean suck and nimble digits digging in too close to your rim have you toppling forward. A shouted moan expelling as you whine and bounce down to fully release your orgasm on his chin and neck.
White haze takes over the room, brain spinning too much to process being manhandled onto your back. Only between a coughed whimper do you come down, blinking up to find Jaemin above you, grasping your ankles above your head with a devilish smirk playing at his lips.
“You think I give up that easily? That was child’s play.” He taunts, pushing hard abdominal muscles against your exposed puffy cunt. Rough and grating as he passes from the thick line of dark hair trailing down inside of his shorts. A silent gasp emits as he grinds against your ass, hoisted off the mat the more he tests your flexibility, continuing to push and push until you’re folded in half.
Lazily you blink, reaching between your upper halves to scrape at his chest. Tweaking and pinching at one of his hardened nipples. With clenched teeth he takes advantage of your drunk-like post orgasmic state, releasing an ankle and replacing his hold with a hard bite. Sharp canine teeth sink near your tendon, shaking his head to make you shout and whimper louder. Free hand making use of your moment of weakness to release his erect length.
“Know what mean girls like you need?” He says between licking at teeth marks left behind on your ankle. Stroking to the tip of his length as he directs himself between your dripping wet folds. Sliding up and down for you to go crosseyed, stupid dumb just from feeling how fucking thick and wide he is.
“B-bunny..”
He doesn’t give you a chance to say more, penetrating with one fluid practiced motion. Years of masturbating and studying porn only served to build up his knowledge. Practicing what he learned with any girl who would give him the opportunity at science camp over the last few summers.
“Thick fucking cock to shut you up.” Finishing his sentence with a choked growl, he grinds, adding emphasis by giving you each inch.
The moan that rips from your chest says it all.
Full, so full. Thick, so fucking thick.
He’s bigger than any popular jerk you’ve fucked at frat parties. Obscenely stretching you out, split open and so unbelievably full.
“Aww,” he tries to mock, unable to stop himself from pressing in balls deep. Pressed deep enough for coarse dark hairs to scratch against your clit in the position. Folded in half and dwarfed beneath his massive size, both of his hands snake around your ankles, using his rocking hips to aid the push he gives. Your calves surround you, burning up the backs of your thighs from tight tendons working overtime.
“Weak. Nothing but a hole to take my cock.” Regaining some semblance at the visual of tears beginning to pour freely down your cheeks, Jaemin arches back, burying his knees into the mat to hit your hard with a pointed thrust.
Pinning you down with every muscle straining in his arms, he fills you to the brim. Cock too thick, nestling past any squeeze you give, any push the muscles inside of you use to suffocate his length.
“Don’t s-stop,” you choke, eyeing where he continues to dive in and out. His cock glistens coated in thick amounts of wetness, globs of it stuck on the patch of hair at the base. Wet, filthy and so fucking wet everywhere.
“So fucking greedy, full of cock and still you want more?” He spits, licking at saliva dribbling down his chin. “Want me to fill you up? Breed you like nothing but a stupid little cum dump.”
“Uh huh..” no amount of humiliation burning up your chest can deny how good it feels. Unwilling to even struggle or bother to get away from his hips pummeling forward. Hiccups and coughed sobs assist the rapid nod you give him, too overwhelmed to even picture how much Jaemin can give you.
He wishes he could laugh, but you feel too good, too perfect. The tip of his length catches on your convulsing hole with each draw back. It’s too much for you to even look at, witnessing the tip lifting at the skin covering your mound. Feeling deeper than what you can even actually see, as if his cock can reach the back of your throat with every thrust he gives you.
“Pl-please bunny..” you babble, worrying your bottom lip, fingers twitching for something. Finding his shoulders to weakly scratch at, dragging down to the cut his bicep muscle creates. “I-inside, please..”
Jaemin groans, circling his hips in a more meticulous manner. Cock dragging against your walls in a way that sends your toes curling. Legs trembling, nearly ripping free of his hold when he hits you just right, cockhead kissing your cervix with ease, hitting the perfect angle each time.
“Pleasepleasepleaseplease.”
Maintaining his hold to keep you bent in half somehow, Jaemin fucks faster, ruthless and harsh, encouraged by your babbling and whines. Thrust after thrust harder than the previous, ripping his chest and abdominal muscles to appear carved out of stone with all the more vigor he utilizes to fuck you like you need and beg for.
“Ahhh…fuck!” Jaemin’s voice comes out strangled, using every bit of his strength to keep fucking you even as you lock up around him. Gripping a powerful orgasm around his cock, the pressure, push and pull almost forcing his cock to slip out. Gushed around, so wet and sloppy, spilling release down to his balls.
Despite your shrieks, he only manages to go even faster. Blurry above you as he pounds through your orgasm, gritting and panting similar to one of your opponents by the end of a long match. Rumbling from deep within his chest as he meets your eyes, glasses dropping off, tightening up when you find his blown out pupils.
Jaemin cums, cock thrumming violently with each hot drop of release bursting free, filling you up and up until he has to curse. Removing his hold as his broad shoulders tremble, absorbing the heat between your bodies through tremors rolling up his tense back muscles.
That’s enough, you think, rolling away in search of a towel to wipe yourself with. Whining when your hip lets out a nasty crack, you knew that pre-stretch would be needed, but not this much.
“Where do you think you’re going?” A lowered voice asks, shivering up your spine as you whimper, burning where your wet thighs rub against the mat feebly attempting to crawl away.
“N-no no m-more..”
Jaemin laughs, worse than an evil villain from any movie or show. Slow to walk on his knees over your pathetic excuse of getting away. He hauls your arms back, clicking his tongue with a breathless chuckle. “This will teach you to fuck with nerds.”
Burying back inside of you aches more than you can comprehend, imagining your brain exploding and spilling out of your ears as he rolls down. Cock sunk in to the hilt, gushing out the release he just filled you with. His size too much for you to hold both in, slick, wet, and so fucking loud with each draw back and slap of his hips.
“Jaemin!” It’s your first time wailing out his name, not missing a beat as he picks up the pace. His chest falls against your back knocking air out of your lungs, more determined to ruin you on his cock again. Make you regret the day you first saw him and made the worst decision to fuck with him.
“Where’s your cute bunny now?” He asks against your ear, watching your eyes roll back into your head. Biting at your jaw, he reaches around, budging his bicep against your chin. Hips snap brutally into you, pulling you into a death inducing chokehold roughly. He pulls harder, making your chest shove out and waist dip in until you’re bent far back, slapping one hand against the mat.
“You give up?!” He grunts against your cheek, jostling your throat with a shake of his arm. Tongue hanging out panting, you reach for his wrist, scurrying to hold onto anything you can.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
A quiet cry and suppressed choke follows your palm smacking the mat with repeated motion. In disbelief by the sound of grunts, flesh clapping against flesh, popping wet and nasty with each smooth glide of Jaemin’s cock filling you up without losing any speed.
“Fuck,” his eyes squeeze, stomach muscles contracting with each unforgiving thrust further dragging you up the mat. Chasing after his next release, Jaemin runs for the victory by throwing his other arm around your neck, further pulling you into a headlock. Groaning by how much wetter you get, purging out more and more arousal with every ripple of his bicep against your jaw.
“That’s right.” He starts, blinking away sweat that won’t stop raining down, getting trapped in his long eyelashes. “Never forget how you let a nerd beat you.”
Another weak tap and pinch on his wrist has you cumming, arching high enough to nearly make him lose his rhythmic pace. Using powerful thigh muscles to push up and hit you with thrusts hard enough to have your heart beating out past your chest.
Slam after merciless slam turns messy, hips swerving pushing past your cunt gripping and milking for him to cum again. Give you the warm load to keep inside this time, greedily squeezing around him for another.
The squeaky cracked moan Jaemin lets out has your eyes rolling to the side, pleased that even after all of his tough talk, you can still weaken him somehow.
Tapping on his forearm finally gives you a chance to take deep breaths, only to be plastered by his limp dead weight collapsing onto you.
“So,” Jaemin breathes, wet chest heavily panting against your back. He bites at your nape, hoisting your chin up with his forearm perched under your jaw. “What’s my prize?”
“Ugh..” nothing more than a lazy response pours out of you. Continuing to reel and shiver under the weight melting you down into the ruined mat covered in every type of bodily fluid. “Whatever.”
If not for the chokehold around your throat, you’d knock out in less than a second. Thoroughly fucked and ran through by the same nerd that you once picked on and made cry for a laugh. The irony doing more to make your gut curl in with renewed arousal as you lock up around him.
“What was that? Whatever, huh?” He has the audacity to let out a fake chuckle, rumbling at the top of your spine. Free arm reaching down to push between your connected lower halves as he lifts to create space. “In that case..”
Jaemin’s index finger slips past bruises forming on your backside. Teasing as he pushes between your ass and traces your puckered rim. He pops free from your ruined hole, kissing at the backs of his teeth as a pool of cum bubbles out; settling in the shape of a perfect triangle at the top of your squished together thighs.
Prodding at your hole, Jaemin bites away a smile when you squirm and whimper, turning to give him a look full of excitement and fear. He meets your gaze with maniacal thrill, pushing his pouty lips together to create a faucet for a thick wad of spit to pour, landing directly on your ass to be smeared around.
“I’ll go easy on you.”
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ningningsdream · 1 year
Text
everyone’s but no one’s | n.jm
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pairing: fuckboy!jaemin x college student!reader (ft. sungchan)
genre: college!au, roommates-to-lovers!au, fluff, angst
word count: 19.4k
description: in which your roommate is the guy every girl on campus either slept with or want to sleep with and you have had bad experiences with fuckboys before.
warning(s): alcohol, mention of sex, mention of past relationship traumas (cheating, lying)
taglist; @thatanonymousgirl-as14 @sugazwrld​ (only tagged the people that seemed to be active still, tell me if you want to be removed or added for the next ones)
a/n: this is apart of my new series of roommates-to-lovers with the dreamies, sweet life. i feel like this one is so messy.
main masterlist
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suddenly changing university in the middle of your first year was definitely something you didn’t plan but unfortunately the course you chose for your second semester was suddenly moved to their other uni in seoul and apparently they ‘forgot’ to inform the students so a bunch of you had to prepare to move to seoul for the last or change your course. you took some time to decide because you really wanted to stay where you were. the uni was not that far from your house, so you didn’t need to move into a dorm which save you lots of money but on the other hand, you were really excited for that course. so you decided to pack enough clothes for a few days and went to seoul during your summer break, in search of a place to stay.
once you were in seoul, you quickly visited the university you were soon going to attend and asked the secretary if there was any way for you to know if someone on campus needed a roommate. the male assistant directed you towards a board where papers with numbers of students searching for a roommate were scatter. you picked a few tickets with numbers on them along with a picture of their respective flyer.
all you wanted was to find someone nice enough to accept you as a roommate, someone you could maybe be friends with and hang out with. you didn't expect to 'audition' to be one, but at this point, you spent almost your whole summer break looking for a place to stay and you were desperate. you’ve called multiple people, but it seemed like the university didn’t update the board at all because most of the people you ended up calling had either already found someone or moved out of their old place. only one person responded positively to your call but what happened afterwards was pretty unusual. you had to answer multiple questions and pass multiple 'rounds' to finally have someone telling you they'll call you back. you were almost sure you went to the wrong place until one day, when you were watching netflix on the couch of your airbnb, someone called you and told you that you were 'selected' to be the new roommate.
you thought that the process was really weird, i mean who says, 'you've been selected to move in'.
at first, you thought that maybe it was all a scam and that maybe you were going to be kidnap but the guy who asked you all the questions seemed to be around your age and quite nice.
the next day, you took your suitcase, that contained all the things you could bring to seoul, and took a taxi to your new apartment. the building was pretty far from your university, so you had to take the public transportation, but you were okay with it because it was the only place that was available and affordable for your broke ass. it was a pretty simple apartment building with two elevators and a guard. you thanked god for the entrance that was facing an open street rather than an alleyway.
you knocked on the door with one hand while the other one was resting on the mini pepper spray in your pocket just in case. a pretty cute guy opened the door greeting you with a smile, ”oh you must be y/n, right?”, he asked after spotting your suitcase. you nodded and he stepped aside, opening the door wider for you to come in.
“nice to meet you...?”
“jaemin, na jaemin.”, he gave you the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen.
“nice to meet you, jaemin. not to be rude but are you living here too? i thought the guy who asked me all the questions the other day was the only one living here.”
“oh, chenle? nah, his apartment is much nicer than this one. i just asked him to take in some candidatures while i was working and from what i've heard he went a little overboard with the interviews...”
you chuckled at his words. 'overboard' was indeed a way to describe chenle's method.
jaemin then showed you your room and you were happy that it already had all the furniture you needed so that you wouldn’t have to waste more time furniture shopping. you told your new roommate that all of your other stuff were arriving tomorrow just so that he wouldn’t be surprised by the temporary mess that will be present in the living room in a few hours.
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you woke up to an empty apartment and a note on the kitchen counter.
hey, i went to work and i’ll be back this afternoon. i made breakfast, it’s still on the stove. enjoy~ -your cute roommate ;)
you tasted the food jaemin left for you, and it was surprisingly really good. you didn’t expect him to be that good of a cook.
when you received a call from the driver of the moving truck your parents hired, you immediately made your way down to the front of the building and were welcomed by a nice looking man by the name of taeil, he even helped you carry them in and out of the elevator on your floor. you thanked the man as he left and started to carry your boxes from the hallways into your living room. after some time, you really started to curse yourself for having so many things, your arms started to ache and your back started to hurt a little. you almost had a heart attack every time the elevator opened and one of your neighbors stepped out, giving you a weird look.
“oh my god, you scared me!”, you jumped at the sudden interruption in your silence, almost dropping the box in your hands, “do you want some help?”, he said, holding his arms out so you could give him the box.
“it’s okay, i’m almost done anyway.”, you gave the stranger a smile.
“alright. i’m hyunjin by the way. you’re jaemin’s new roommate, right?”
“yeah, are you going to seoul marketing as well?"
hyunjin nodded, "what are you majoring in?"
"international exchange and you?"
"business administration.", he answered as you arrived in front of your respective door, "well see around and...good luck...with jaemin.", he smirked, knowingly.
you furrowed your eyebrows, understanding that he was implying something but not knowing what it was, "what do you mean?"
"well...you know...", he smiled, eyes expressing something you couldn't decipher. upon seeing the look on your face, his expression changed to one of confusion, "you don't?"
"i just transfer from the gwangju branch so i don't really know anything about what's going on here."
"oooh.", hyunjin nodded as he understood now why you didn't know what everybody knew, "well, jaemin's a pretty notorious fuckboy and you being...", he said, his hand showing you.
" i see. i'll keep that in mind, thanks.", you said before entering your new apartment.
you really couldn't escape them, could you?
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"hey, roommie! dinner's ready!", jaemin called you from the kitchen.
you walked into the kitchen confused as you saw jaemin setting two plates down onto the small table for two.
"oh. you didn't have to. i was going to order something.", you said, feeling guilty.
"i'm saving you money. we're student, we're broke."
jaemin wasn't wrong. you didn't often eat out but since you spent your whole day opening boxes and arranging your room, you were too tired to make yourself something to eat, plus, you didn't have time to go grocery shopping.
"you should have called me to help you.", you said.
"it's alright. consider this a welcome diner.", he smiled in a way that made you wonder how that soft face of his could be one of a fuckboy.
you sat opposite him and looked at the pasta dish in front of you.
"i made gochugang pasta."
"gochugang pasta?"
the combo sounded weird to you but gochugang and pasta were good separately so why not together. you picked up the fork by your plate and tasted jaemin's dish. you didn't notice but he patiently waited for your reaction. as soon as the pasta touched your taste buds, your eyes widened in surprise. you chew and nodded at the same time, "woah. that's really good!", you complimented.
jaemin smiled in satisfaction, saying, "glad you like it, i got the recipe from a friend."
you continued to eat in silence for a while before jaemin broke it, "what are you majoring in?"
"international exchange, what about you?", you asked.
"retail communication. why did you...transfer here, if you don't mind me asking?", jaemin was quite hesitant to ask since it could be a sensitive topic.
"a course i chose for this semester was moved to seoul so i decided to move with it. it was either that or change it to something boring so..."
"i see. tomorrow's your first day, right? i can give you a ride to campus if you want."
"oh you don't have to-"
"i insist. it'll be dumb to let you use public transports when i can just drive you. it's not like it's somewhere i wasn't going too."
"thanks...again."
what your neighbor told you have been on your mind the moment you closed the door to your apartment after speaking with him. you've frequented a handful of fuckboys in your life so you knew to stay away from them. you didn't know what type of fuckboy jaemin's was yet but you sure were going to be careful and not get involve more than necessary with him.
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the next day when you arrived on campus with jaemin by your side, some people stared at the two of you, whispering among themselves, thinking you wouldn't be able to hear.
"who is that?"
"probably his new toy of the moment."
"too bad, i was hoping it'll be my turn."
"just wait a week and he'll be over her."
you rolled your eyes, annoyed by all the stares and whispers. you really hated how people could be so foul behind your back. jaemin noticed and felt guilty since his reputation was impacting you.
"you know the way to your first class, right?", jaemin asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts. you nodded, taking your schedule out of your tote bag, "okay, see you later, ROOMMATE.", he almost shouted the last word, shutting down all whispers. you smiled at him in gratitude before walking to your first class of the semester.
you took a seat in the middle rows of the auditorium waiting for the class to start.
"hey. is this place available?", someone asked, pointing to the seat next to yours. you nodded and the person smiled at you, sitting down, "i'm ryujin, by the way. everyone seemed to be with their own friends so i hope you don't mind me being next to you."
"not at all. i actually just transferred here so i literally just know my roommate."
"oh really?"
"i'm y/n, by the way."
"who's your roommate? maybe i know them."
"everyone seems to know him...", you said, "na jaemin is my roommate."
"oh.", ryujin's eyes widen as she stayed silent for a second, her lips forming the letter 'o'.
"is he that bad?"
"he is not bad...just very very popular."
"i heard he was a fuckboy but i didn't think it would be that big of a thing. people stared at me when we arrived together this morning, like we were some kind of reality show or something."
"he's not just 'a' fuckboy, he's 'the' fuckboy. he practically put out of business 90% of the fuckboys in this uni."
"what really?", you didn't know if you should be impressed or disgusted.
ryujin nodded at your statement, "everyone knows though that if they get with him, it's not gonna last. of course, some are still delusional and think they can 'change him'."
you nodded, acknowledging her words. you couldn't judge those girls, having been of that same path too many times.
your professor entered the room, silencing every conversation going on. you focused on your class, pushing all thoughts concerning your roommate to the back of your mind.
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going grocery shopping after class, want to come?
jaemin texted you during your last class.
sure
you responded. you needed to go grocery shopping anyway since you just moved in and had nothing to feed yourself at the apartment. so you found yourself in the snack aisle with jaemin by your side, helping him debate whether or not he should buy two packets of gummies or only one.
"you know what? take your time. i'll go get some other things.", you said before walking to another aisle.
after five good minutes on debating with himself, jaemin put one gummy packet down and went on his way to find you with the shopping cart. he spotted you in front of a sample stand, jumping up and down, looking at what an ahjumma was making.
"what got you all excited, bunny?", he asked with a grin as he stopped the shopping cart near you.
you didn't notice the nickname he called you, being too focused on the ahjumma, "they have those dumplings here!", you said, excitedly pointing at the food, "i grew up eating those."
the ahjumma smiled at your excitement and so did jaemin. she cut a piece of dumpling in two, stabbing them with two toothpicks.
"here, try it.", you handed one to jaemin as you ate yours, but the boy just ate it from the toothpick you were holding instead of taking it himself, making you feed him, "woah, tastes just like i remember it. do we have some place in the freezer?"
jaemin thought about it for a moment before nodding.
"i'll take two bags of these, please!", you smiled at the ahjumma.
"aigoo~ aren't you two a cute couple? your girlfriend is really cute!", she cooed, giving jaemin the bags of dumplings.
your eyes widened at the remark, ready to politely correct the lady but jaemin beat you to it, "yeah, isn't she?"
that wasn't what you expected him to say. you gave him a look of confusion as he ignored you, smiling at the ahjumma.
"aigoo~ here, take this!", she handed you a coupon for a discount on the dumplings you were going to buy.
"thank you!", you both bowed to the older woman before walking away.
"what was that?", you asked.
"what was what?"
"that whole girlfriend/couple thing?"
"calm down. didn't want to make the ahjumma sad, did you? plus, we got a discount. a friend of mine told me things like that work."
you two got in line to pay your groceries and when jaemin put a separator between his snacks and your groceries, you removed it, saying, "i'll pay for your snacks."
"no, it's fine.", he said, reaching out for the separator you put back but you stopped by grabbing his wrist.
"i'm paying. take it as a thank you for the dinner last night and for driving me to uni today."
"well, you're welcome, and thank you.", jaemin smiled.
you understood why jaemin was so popular. you just had to look at him. his dyed blonde hair always looked perfect, having that messy but sexy style. his personality seemed sweet as well, at least on the outside. if you'd have met him a couple years back, you would have totally fell for him.
"by the way, i usually go grocery shopping on saturdays, every other week. just tell me if you'll want to tag along.", jaemin told you.
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"hey, bunny, we're having a movie night wanna join?", jaemin asked you, popping his head in your room through your door.
"who's we? and stop with the nicknames.", you whined, getting up from your bed and opening your door fully before getting out.
"how can i when your reaction's so cute?", jaemin said, making you roll your eyes.
one thing you learned about jaemin from living with him 24/7 was that it was in his second nature to flirt. one of his flirting habits was giving people nicknames. he had called you many since you started living together. from roommie to babe to baby to bunny. bunny was the one he used the most on daily basis. it was weird at first since you thought he was hitting on you or something but you learned that it was just something he was used to doing when you heard him call other people nicknames as well. it even made you wonder if he didn't just forget the names.
"does he always have to be like that?", you asked no one in particular as you walked to the living room.
"always and that's not the worse of him.", a third party sitting on your couch said.
"jeno, this is bunny. bunny, this is my friend, jeno."
"i'm y/n.", you quickly corrected, "so what are we watching?"
"the last violet evergarden movie."
"ooh, so we're gonna need tissues.", you walked to the kitchen table and grabbed the box of tissues on it to put it on your coffee table in front of your couch.
you didn't expect the first person to shed tears to be jaemin. he was full on sobbing, monopolizing the box of tissue to himself. jeno and you gave each other a look before looking back at jaemin who was sitting between the two of you.
"aiya, stop sobbing so hard, we can't hear the movie.", you joked, patting his shoulder.
"you can read the subtitles. i'm saaaad!", jaemin whined while dropping side ways, his head landing on your lap as he kicked his feet on jeno's lap. you were surprised by the gesture at first and looked at jeno to see his reaction.
his friend looked like he was used to it and kept watching the movie. feelings eyes on him, he turned to face you and you just looked down at jaemin and back at jeno with a questioning look.
'you'll get used to it.', jeno mouthed to you before returning his attention to the tv.
you sighed, looking down at the boy on your lap, "get snot on my pajamas and i'll make you cry harder than this movie.", you warned, even thought your whispers were soft, your threat was very real.
you put your hands on top of his head, having no where else to put them since jaemin literally took all the space that was available. your focus was back on the movie completely forgetting jaemin's head until you realized one of your hands was stroking his hair softly. you immediately stopped the habit you picked up through your years of dating and crossed your arms over your chest to stop yourself from doing it again. you thought you heard a whine before jaemin raised one of his arms and waved it around in your direction. you frowned, grabbing it to stop him from hitting you right in the face by inadvertence. jaemin's other hand grabbed your hand holding his arm and put it back in his hair. you didn't move at first, not really sure of what he wanted. jaemin started moving his head around and you finally understood, he just wanted you to play with his hair again. it's been a while since you've been this domestic and to be honest you kind of missed it.
no.
stop thinking about that.
when the credits started rolling, jaemin sat right up, declaring, "i need to drink and talk about my feelings.", he was being dramatic about the feelings part and just wanted to chitchat.
"i don't drink but i'm down for the talk.", you shrugged.
"sorry, gotta go. roommate emergency.", jeno said, raising his phone.
jeno bid his goodbyes and left your roommate and you alone, "still down for drinks and gossip?", jaemin asked you.
"sure.", you said from the couch, stretching your legs on it.
"what do you want to drink?", jaemin asked from the kitchen as he stood in front of the open fridge.
"i bought a bottle of peach juice. it's coral."
"got it!", you heard him open your cupboards in search for glasses, "do you want a glass, a cup or...?"
"just give me a soju glass as well.", your turned to look at jaemin to see him already looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, "what? it's so you wouldn't feel alone."
"gee, thanks.", jaemin said, sarcastically, as he made his way back to the living room.
"thank you.", you said, as jaemin put everything down onto the table.
"you don't drink at all?"
"i do drink sometimes. i cut back on the alcohol because i used to drink my brains out and forget everything that happened after my fifth drink.", you sat up, reaching for the bottle of peach juice.
"understandable. what kind of drunk are you?", jaemin asked, sitting on the couch.
"from what i heard, i'm quite the hoe but again i was always horny so that may have contributed. i haven't been drunk in a while, you? what kind of drunk is the infamous fuckboy na jaemin?"
jaemin rolled his eyes at the title, "you can say i'm quite the hoe as well."
"shocker.", you said, sarcastically.
jaemin rolled his eyes again, "not nice, bunny. i just get clingy. don't mind me if i start hugging you, you can just push me away."
"i'm fine with that as long as you don't try to get in my pants."
"me? i'm not like that, bunny.", he said jokingly making you two laugh, "more seriously, when i'm drunk drunk, i'm never horny, that's why i don't drink a lot at parties.", he winked at the end which made you make an exaggerated gagging expression.
"anyway, how have you been acclimating so far?"
"good. i made some friends, shin ryujin and yoo jimin.", you stopped in your story, as something came to your mind, "did you fuck them?"
"mmmh, haven't fucked them...yet.", he said the last word with a grin after moving his upper body closer to you.
"you're disgusting.", you said, pushing his head back.
"i was jokiiing!", he whined, rubbing his forehead and taking a shot of soju as you rolled your eyes.
"so what's your fuckboy story?", you asked, sipping on your peach juice.
"fuckboy story?", jaemin looked at you with a confused look. you could see he was already a bit tipsy thanks to his rosy cheeks.
"every fuckboy has that one girl that broke them so much that they take their revenge by using the rest of the female population?"
"that's...", jaemin stopped himself, struggling to find a word to describe what he wanted to say, "anyway, i don't have one.", he said, giving up.
"what do you mean you don't have one? you're just being a jerk without any reason?"
"you're hurting my little heart with your harsh words.", jaemin said, placing his hands on the left side of his chest with a pout on his face.
jaemin looked really cute right now. you had to give him credit when it was due.
"do you even have one?", you were only joking when you said this but then jaemin started to bawl his eyes out. you thought he was joking at first, but when the tears didn't stop, you started to wonder if the two bottles of soju he just consumed made him more sensitive, "woah, woah, woah. i was just joking! stop crying, please?", you panicked. you put your glass down and scooted closer to your roommate, "jaemin, stop please.", you shook his shoulders softly to get his attention but he didn't stop, continuing to sob loudly, "pretty, pleeaase?", you decided to stroke his ego and it worked.
the cries suddenly stopped and jaemin looked at you with a big smile, "you called me pretty!"
you looked at him with a deadpanned look on your face, "come on. time to stop drinking. it's getting late and you're obviously drunk.", you grabbed your two empty glasses and bottles of soju along with your peach juice and put them away in the kitchen, quickly washing the glasses.
you expected jaemin to be sleeping in his room after you finished tidying things up but he was still sitting on the couch.
"jaemin...what did i say?", you put your fists on your hips like a mom scolding her child.
"but i don't want to sleep.", jaemin whined.
"we have class tomorrow, you have to sleep."
"bu-"
"no buts. come on.", you grabbed his wrist and pulled him up. thankfully, he didn't resist at all or you'd have struggled a lot more with your non existent strength.
you tucked him in bed and turned around to go back to your room but jaemin stopped you, asking, "where are you going?"
"back to my room? to sleep?"
"why can't you sleep here?", jaemin whined, patting the empty space next to him.
"because we're not that close."
"why can't we be?"
"because.", you saw jaemin pout even more at your answer and sighed. you walked towards him again and patted his head, "goodnight, jaemin. i'm going to choke you if you don't go to sleep."
"i'd like that.", jaemin muttered before closing his eyes and cuddling into his covers.
that night you discovered a new side to your roommate and you much preferred that side to the one he usually showed. and jaemin kept thinking about your question. that one girl he will never forget.
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"hey, bunny. i'm going out, don-", jaemin shouted from the living room but got interrupted by you walking into room with a different than usual kind of outfit on.
"oh, you're going out too? is it 127's party?", you asked after looking at his outfit.
"yeah...", he didn't really listen to what you were saying, he just heard your last words and guessed that you were talking about the party. his eyes were too busy, scanning your figure. you were wearing a black bodycon dress with a long mesh top underneath, knee high platforms and your makeup was more suited to a night outing.
you noticed jaemin staring when you continued talking but he didn't seem to respond, and rolled your eyes, "can you turn off your fuckboy mode for one second?"
"i just didn't know you could dress up like that, princess.", the smirk on his face made you roll your eyes one more time, "what were you saying?"
"i'm going to sleep at ryujin and jimin's tonight and are you heading to the party now? to know if you could give me a ride.."
you ended up going with jaemin, texting jimin that she didn't have to pick you up. when you arrived at the party and managed to find your friends, you never saw jaemin again at that party.
since you didn't drink anymore, you were automatically the designated driver. jimin gave you her keys and the three of you had a lot of fun all night.
you met ryujin on your first day on campus and you two got along immediately. she was the one who caught you up on all the dramas going on on campus. that same day, you met jimin, ryujin's friend and roommate, who also became your friend. she was like a mom to you and took great care of ryujin and you, her two insufferable children. the two of them were worried about you living with the uni's ultimate fuckboy at first but you reassured them by telling them that you had no interest in a frugal relationship and their worries decreased as the weeks went by.
jimin was the one from whom you've learned more about jaemin's past. it was during lunch when you witnessed a scene between jaemin and his, then, current hook up. she had slapped him and ran away, hiding her face, probably crying.
"poor girl. another victim on na jaemin's list.", ryujin said, shaking her head before returning to her food.
"it's crazy how things can change.", jimin said, eyes following the girl who ran out of the cafeteria.
"what do you mean?", you asked her.
"i was in high school with jaemin and he wasn't like that back then.", you gave her a look that meant you wanted to know more, "he was quite popular back then as well but he always declined every confession he received, all really politely without sleeping with them first or anything. rumors spread about him dating someone secretly or having a crush on someone."
after hearing that, you found your roommate more mysterious than you thought him to be. at first, he seemed like some random fuckboy but the more you saw of him, the more he intrigued you.
a slap on your shoulder caught your attention.
"i don't feel so good...", ryujin screamed for you and jimin to hear as you three were dancing in the middle of the crowd.
you two stopped and looked at your friend, worried, "told you to not drink that last mix you made.", you said, shaking your head.
"do you want to throw up?", jimin asked.
ryujin shook her head, "no, i think i just need some fresh air."
"you go out front, first. i'll grab some water.", you said to jimin who seemed to still be able to act and think clearly.
luckily, the kitchen's fridge was also filled with some water bottles so you grabbed three and closed the door. turning around, you almost bumped into someone.
"oh!", the other person grabbed your shoulders to stop you from falling backwards, "i was going to ask you if you wanted a drink but i see that you helped yourself already.", the boy in front of you smiled.
you looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out if you knew him or not and he seemed to have picked up on it, "i'm sungchan by the way. we're in some classes together."
you nodded with a smile, "i'm y/-"
"y/n, yeah, i know.", he interrupted you, "sorry, i've been meaning to come and talk to you sooner but never seemed to know what to say.", he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. you thought he was cute.
"i'm sorry, i really have to get these to my friends.", you said, really apologetically, "but feel free to come and talk to me and my friends whenever.", you smiled before walking away. you hoped he'll come talk to you in class.
you made your way to the front yard of the frat house where ryujin and jimin were waiting for you. ryujin was lying on the grass with jimin by her side.
"hey, sorry i bumped into someone.", you said, giving them a water bottle each, "how are you feeling?"
"better.", ryujin said after gulping down 1/3 of the bottle.
"i just realized that this is our first party together.", jimin said.
"i must admit, i'm not much of a party girl anymore.", you said.
"oh really?", ryujin asked with wide eyes.
"yeah. i was the worse. i'm a lightweight but i used to drink so much, it was insane. sometimes i wonder how am i even still alive.", you joked.
"woah, i'd never think you'd be that kind of girl if you didn't tell me.", jimin commented.
"yeah, me neither."
"why did you stop?", jimin asked.
"drinking and partying too much led me to make many bad decisions on the moment.", you vaguely answered, not really in the mood to go in detail.
"i also just realized something.", ryujin said as she seemed to have sober up, "you never talk about your past. i mean you just transferred here in the middle of the year. you must miss your parents, your friends,..."
"not really. my life has been quite lonely so far.", you smiled even though it wasn't a cheerful nor happy one, "i'm glad i found you guys though.", ryujin and jimin reached out for your hand and you three stayed in a comfortable silence while holding hands, until you broke it, "do you know a sungchan?"
"who? sungchan?", ryujin tapped the side of her head, trying to remember where she heard that name before, "isn't he in one of our classes or something like that?"
"that's what he said when i bumped into him earlier, along with how he wanted to come talk to me but never could."
jimin and ryujin gave each other a look before turning back to you with a mischievous smile.
"don't start.", you warned.
"you did by asking about him.", jimin teased.
"i just wanted to know if i should be careful around him."
"from what i heard, or rather not heard, he doesn't seem to be the type to break many hearts around campus.", jimin said.
the rest of the night was kind of a blur to your two friends but you did get them home safely, tucking them in bed and leaving a bucket on the side for them to use if they ever need to urgently throw up. you were supposed to stay but you really wanted to lay in your bed and you also didn't want to take care of the vomit if there ever was. you loved these girls but your friendship limit was puke. you left jimin a note, saying that you were going to take her car to drive home and that'll you'd give it back to her the next day.
once you've drove home, parked the car, got into your building and took the elevator, you stood in front of your apartment door, rummaging through your small bag, looking for your keys, "shit."
your apartment building had a really safe security system, where you needed a special badge in order to tap in the code to your home. you facepalmed yourself, remembering the exact events that led you to being left outside your own apartment. you always put your keys on the small table next to the entrance. the moment you were putting everything in your bag was also the moment you noticed jaemin staring at you. with the conversation going on with your roommate, you forgot to take your keys on your way out.
you grabbed your phone and looked for jaemin's contact. you wondered if he was still at the party or fucking someone right now. in case it was the latter, you chose to text him.
hey, i went home but forgot my keys
if you're home, open the door when your done with whoever
if you're not then hurry when you're done?
im sorry, i'll make it up to you if i ruined anything
you waited, waited and waited. your phone was almost out of battery so you decided to not use it, just in case, jaemin called you to tell you he had a magical spare key hidden somewhere. you even contemplated ringing your neighbor's doorbell but you didn't know him and it'd be weird.
your eyes were getting heavier and heavier. you tried not to fall asleep but it was getting harder every minute that passed by. your greatest mistake was allowing your eyes to close, 'resting them for five minutes'.
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jaemin was checking his phone on his way out of his last night's hook up's place when his eyes widened as he saw all your messages from the previous night or rather 2am. he rushed to his car and drove back to your shared apartment as fast as he could, almost hitting a grandma on the way. drive carefully everyone.
the elevator seemed to be extremely slow at that particular moment. when it finally arrived at your floor, jaemin rushed out, his eyes landed on you, sitting on the floor, back against your shared apartment door.
"y/n! y/n!", jaemin shook you awake.
you whined, trying to curl up on yourself.
jaemin took his badge out, beeping it on the machine next to your door and taping in the digicode. jaemin moved your back from the door to open it then proceeded to carry you bridal style.
"wooh, why am i flying?!", you panicked, immediately opening your eyes to be met with your roommate's face. you almost jumped out of his arms.
"calm down, bunny. don't hop, you're gonna hurt yourself.", jaemin smiled at you, "your hands are really cold. your whole body is."
you didn't notice your hands on the back of his neck as you instinctively tried to hold onto something, feeling your body levitating.
it's about to get really hot if you don't let me down, you thought.
"put me down, please?", you asked, almost in a whisper. your throat felt really dry, having drank nothing since you left the party.
jaemin let go of you and watched you go pour yourself a glass of water as he closed your apartment door, "i thought you were sleeping at ryujin and jimin's?"
"i was supposed to, but i didn't feel like dealing with them throwing up in the middle of the night so i went home. where were you? i thought you would have taken the chance of having the apartment to yourself to bring someone over.", you said, feeling rehydrated by the water you just drank.
"i never bring people home.", jaemin clarified.
"why?"
"feels too intimate. it's my personal space."
"i see. well, i'm going to take a hot shower and sleep for awhile. if jimin drop by, tell her i parked her car near the waffle place and give her these.", you said, showing him jimin's keys before putting them on the little dinner table.
after that night, you were careful to check if you had your keys on you every time you left the house and jaemin made sure he was home after every party. even if it meant leaving the pretty stranger he just hooked up and cuddled with for some time. he wanted to make sure that whatever happened that night, never happen again. he wanted to make sure his roommate made it home safe every night.
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"hey, y/n.", a voice said, as the person sat next to you while you were talking with ryujin.
"oh, hey! sungchan, right?", you greeted. the boy nodded with a little smile, "this is my friend, ryujin."
the two greeted each other with a nod.
"you don't mind me sitting here, right?", sungchan asked, talking about the seat his actually occupying.
"it's fine. it's usually just the two of us.", you replied.
"how come we've never seen you around uni before?", ryujin asked. even though the university was pretty big, someone who looked like sungchan wouldn't go unnoticed and ryujin knew she would've heard about him at least once.
"oh, i just transferred here this semester-"
"oh? you too?", you interrupted him in shock.
"you transferred here too?", sungchan asked you with wide eyes.
you nodded, "i thought i was the only one. everyone kept telling me i was crazy."
"us too! i transferred here with my friend, shotaro."
"oh? you're friend with shotaro?", ryujin suddenly asked. the boy nodded even though he seemed confused, "he's going out with my friend, chaeryeong. even though she says they are just hanging out 'as friend' for now."
"aaaah, chaeryeong! shotaro can't stop talking about her for real, i almost want to choke him every time.", sungchan joked.
"whoa, we're really living in a small world.", you laughed.
you three stopped talking when the professor entered the room, focusing on his class and what he said.
after your class, the three of you walked to the cafeteria for lunch, "want to join us for lunch?", you asked sungchan.
"sure, can shotaro come?"
"why not.", you shrugged.
"oh i'll text chaeryeong and tell her to come as well."
"oh! good idea!", sungchan and ryujin high fived each other and got on their phone to text their respective friend which made you smile.
after getting some food, you joined jimin at your usual table, "jimin-aaaah, i missed you.", ryujin cooed at her friend.
"we saw each other this morning.", jimin replied, making ryujin pout playfully.
they were joined later on by shotaro and chaeryeong who seemed taken aback when they saw each other at first but then casually slipped into a conversation of their own.
"oh my god! you had mr.kim too?!", you said as sungchan and you started talking about your old uni.
"mmh! he was my favorite i think. his way of grading paper was the funniest."
"right?! his comments were always so interesting."
"one time he wrote 'this doesn't make any sense but i see what you mean and that scares me'. i still wonder if it's a good thing or not."
you laughed at his anecdote along with him.
"i think i kept all the papers he graded because it was just too funny to throw away. once he wrote 'i am not convinced' and three lines after that he wrote 'you convinced me'. mr kim was just the best for those kind of things."
you kept talking about uni related stuff as well as the restaurants and shops surrounding the area. you found out that you had quite a lot of things in common and he was quite an easy guy to talk to.
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after a long day of what seemed like endless classes and a dinner at ryujin and jimin's place, you finally got to type in the digicode to your home. you lazily hung your coat at the entrance and removed your shoes to slip your slippers on.
you didn't expect to see jaemin drinking alone in the living room.
"hey, you okay?", you asked him as he seemed to be in some kind of trance, not even noticing your arrival.
jaemin quickly snapped out of it, quickly turning his head away from you, hands reaching for his eyes. you were alarmed by his actions and quickly made your way towards the couch. you tried to look at his face but he turned his head back the other way. you sighed and tried to turn him back towards you but he resisted. you ended grabbing his head and turning his face forcefully towards you. you wonder how you didn't snap his neck. you got worried when you saw his bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks, "what happened?", you asked, sitting down next to him.
jaemin didn't answer but his mouth quickly turned into a pout and his eyes filled with tears again. you brought him in your arms and gently patted his head, letting your roommate cry in the crook of your neck.
you two weren't the closest roommates ever but you did consider him your friend. you've been living together for a few months now and had spent quite some time together from grocery shopping to cooking together to having a special night at least once a week or every two weeks to watch bridgerton together. you two grew quite fond of the show and always ended sharing the same plaid and talking about the relationships in the show.
you've never seen him cry for something else than a character death or three seconds of sad background music during an intense moment of your show, so that was new to you.
"is it that hard to believe that i am capable of getting in a relationship?", he said as he let go of you a little so you could see his face and hear him.
"well..."
jaemin sobbed even harder. it wasn't your intention to make him cry or hurt him, you just never thought that dating was something that jaemin considered, with his reputation. you thought he just wanted to live his youth.
"hey, what happened?", you asked softly.
jaemin didn't answer you and just held onto you tighter. you ran your hand through his hair in comfort, not knowing what else to do.
"you can come and talk to me anytime you want you know. i'll listen.", you offered.
you felt jaemin nod but he never told you why he cried that night.
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"hurry, bunny or i'm starting without you.", jaemin shouted from the living room as you were in the kitchen. you poured the popcorn into a bowl while reading the text sungchan just sent you. jaemin noticed you smiling while holding the bowl of popcorn in one hand and typing on your phone with your other hand. he got curious when you handed him the bowl and sat next to him, not even giving him a look and still typing away on your phone.
"who are you texting?", jaemin asked in a teasing tone.
"sungchan.", you answered, putting your phone away.
"are you close? you smiled like an idiot while texting him.", he said, poking your cheek and side as he teased you.
"yah! stop!", you tried to stop his poking but failed as he managed to poke you still. after some fighting action, you managed to stop his two hands by grabbing his wrists. you pulled yourself closer to him, leaning on his side before letting go of him to grab the bowl of popcorn, "we're just friends.", you said, referring to sungchan, "he wouldn't want to date me.", you grabbed the remote and pressed play.
"why would you say that? you're a 100% dateable."
"not really.", you muttered under your breath.
it wasn't that you thought you weren't dateable. your view of love was just different from what people your age would consider normal. you've had so many failed and toxic relationship that you were scared that it was the only type of relation you could have. you also wanted something most people were scared of, even though they would never admit it; commitment.
you had gotten to know sungchan these past few weeks and you two had become quite close friends. ryujin and jimin were telling you that sungchan and you would be a really cute couple but you denied every time. not because you weren't attracted to him but as you got to know him, you discovered that he was totally the type of person you would've wanted to be your first boyfriend. he seemed too pure hearted for you to risk breaking his heart.
"you're crushing my shoulder.", jaemin complained next to you.
"could've just push me away.", you dramatically said, flying to the other end of the couch.
"nooo, come back.", he pulled onto your arm to bring you closer to him again but he pulled harder than you expected and you literally flew right onto him. your eyes went wide as you realized the position you two were in. your face was so close to his you could feel his breathing on your lips. you quickly backed away and repositioned yourself as before. jaemin didn't move for a few seconds, trying to comprehend why his heart was beating so fast when you were close to him and why it was still beating that fast when you pulled away.
you ended up, cuddling with jaemin, his arms around you, giving you warmth. from an outsider point of view, people may think that there was something going on between the two of you but it was just how you two came to act with one another. jaemin being the clingy type, you saw him back hugging his friend, jeno, when he came over to cook something or how he always found a way to pinch his younger friend's, jisung, cheeks when he came by. you just accepted his clinginess because there was no way out, you could see it on his friends' face and you also enjoy the skinship. you missed being that close with someone.
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being jaemin's roommate meant that you got to witness multiple side of him that he didn't usually show in public or to people other than his close friends. he would sometimes come back home in a grumpy or sad mood and just hug you in silence. you were confused the first time it happened. it was a few days after you had found him drinking alone on your couch. you were used to his flirty side and his clinginess but nothing really prepared you for that side of him that just made you want to wrap him in a blanket and feed him some soup. above being surprised, you were worried. jaemin usually showed his cheerful and happy self so seeing him that silent with a neutral expression, worried you a lot, every time, especially because he wouldn't communicate how he felt.
once in a while, jeno, jaemin's friend who kind of became yours as well, came by to eat dinner with you two but it often ended up with you two making dinner, waiting for jaemin to get home since he recently got a part-time job.
"can you cut the onions? i'll make the rice.", you said, gathering your hair in a ponytail.
jeno nodded, quickly tying his apron and grabbing a cutting board along with a knife, "woah, look at that. we should open a restaurant.", he joked with his usual eye smile.
"just wait five minutes and i'll be throwing boiling jjigae at you while you attack me with gochugaru.", you joked back.
you heard the door open and some rustling in the entrance, "jaemin-ah! you're back?", jeno shouted from the kitchen.
jaemin passed by the living room and the kitchen without really saying anything. he just mumbled something before heading towards his room. jeno and you gave each other a look, knowing all too well this behavior of jaemin. jeno nodded towards you and then the direction in which jaemin went, his eyes saying, 'go see what's wrong.'
you frowned at him, shaking your head before repeating his actions towards him, your eyes arguing with his, 'you, go see what's wrong.'
you didn't have the time to continue arguing that you heard jaemin coming out of his room. you two quickly got back to your occupation, which was cutting vegetables for jeno and boiling water for the daenjang jjigae for you. you two focused on cooking until jaemin came into the kitchen a few minutes later, hair still wet from the shower he just took.
"why didn't you dry your hair? it's late. it's not gonna dry before you go to sleep.", you said, glancing at him as you took the vegetables jeno finished cutting to put them in the stew.
"it's alright.", jaemin said with no tone whatsoever. he wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you stirred the vegetables in the boiling broth. you leaned your head back on him a little as he hid his face in the crook of your neck.
it was moment like that that made jeno felt like the most third wheel of all third wheels, "i knew i should've brought hyuck and the lil chef.", he muttered to himself, concentrating on cutting the meat.
you felt wet droplets of water hitting your skin but figured it was just jaemin's wet hair so you discarded it at first. you were immediately alarmed when you suddenly heard jaemin quietly sniff. you dropped your wooden spatula on the counter and turned towards jaemin. you grabbed his face to examine it and prevent him from hiding his tears from you. your eyes soften at the view of jaemin's tear-stained cheeks and glossy eyes. you didn't like seeing him cry.
"yah, can you two, old couple, get back to cooking? i'm hungry!", jeno nagged at the two of you, pointing his knife accusingly.
"who are you calling old couple? i'm not gonna fall for his fuckboy antics."
thankfully, you were the one facing jeno and not jaemin so he couldn't see his crying face.
"we'll be back.", you said, grabbing jaemin's wrist and dragging him away, "please, finish cooking for us.", you stuck your tongue out at jeno to tease him.
"what am i? your private chef?", jeno screamed after the two of you, making you laugh.
you pulled jaemin into the bathroom making him sit on the toilet after closing the lid.
"what's going on?", you asked, as you took a hair dryer out of one of the sink's drawers.
"nothing.", jaemin said, trying hard to control the tone of his voice. you turned to look at him with your hand on your hip like a mom waiting for her child to confess something, "too many things. i just got overwhelmed.", he finally admitted.
your stance softened at his answer and you sighed, "you know, what i said the first time i saw you bawling your eyes out like a baby still stands. you don't have to keep everything inside of you until you eventually explode.", you said, as you plugged the hair dryer in the outlet. you then turned it on and turned towards jaemin to dry his hair. thankfully the cord was long enough.
jaemin put his arms around your waist in a loose hug, relaxing as you ran your hand through his hair, feeling the hot air of the hair dryer blowing on his skin. he thought about what you said and you weren't wrong in any way. jaemin knew he was used to bottling everything up until he could see jeno or renjun to talk it out but since they were all in uni there wasn't much time for them to see one another, even when jeno came over, he had to leave quite early due to his busy schedule and personal matter which was too early for jaemin to open up.
it took you ten minutes to dry your roommate's hair just enough for them to dry completely on their own before he went to bed. jaemin was disappointed when he didn't hear the loud blowing of the hair dryer anymore. he wanted to stay like this just a little more.
"come on or jeno is totally going to leave with the dinner we made.", you said, holding your hand out to jaemin to grab after putting the hair dryer back in its place.
you two came back to the living room where jeno already placed everything on the table, "it has been 55 days since my friends left me alone in their kitchen where i had to fight to finish this meal. ", jeno started talking as if there were people at the table with him as a joke.
you chuckled, "did you go crazy?"
"i might've.", jeno replied, widening his eyes.
"come on, let's eat, i'm starving."
you all started eating together and updating each other on your daily lives, well mainly you and jeno, jaemin didn't really talk much. you were excited about the updates on his roommate and crazy neighbor. it was all the drama you needed. filled with unexpected twists and cliché tropes.
you accompanied jeno to the door when it was time for him to leave while jaemin was doing the dishes, "is jaemin okay?", jeno mouthed to you so your roommate wouldn't hear.
"he's alright, i think."
"call me if you need me."
you nodded as you showed him an okay sign with your hand.
"i will never cook here again.", jeno said as he stepped outside of your apartment.
"see you next time, jeno!", you said, fully knowing that he will be back, in your kitchen with an apron on in no time.
after sending jeno away, you went to take a shower and brush your teeth before laying on your comfy bed, cuddling into your covers. you were scrolling through your instagram feed when there was a knock on your door. you knew that it could only be your roommate, especially at this hour. you hummed in response, signaling to him that he could enter.
"are you sleeping?", jaemin's head popped in your doorway. you thought he looked cute in his pajama set.
"obviously not.", you answered, sitting up and patting the place next to you on your bed. jaemin slowly entered your room fully, closing the door behind him, "what's going on in that head of yours?", you asked, poking his head gently.
jaemin gently grabbed your hand to stop you, bringing it down between the two of you without letting go. sometimes, your roommate did things that made you wonder if his feelings towards you were completely platonic, but every time those thoughts came to your mind, you quickly pushed them away, excusing them as his flirty habits, ignoring the little acceleration your heart experienced.
"am i that unlovable?", jaemin asked even though he whispered it under his breath.
"what?"
"there's this girl. we dated for like two years in high school but she was really jealous. she didn't want us to go public because her parents were pretty strict and didn't want her to date in high school. but the thing was that she was really insecure and would think that i was cheating on her with other girls that confessed their feelings to me. the relationship was so rocky with many ups and downs, mainly downs. she ended up breaking up with me because she couldn't handle the secrecy of our relationship anymore. my first love. amazing, right?", you could hear the sarcasm is his tone, "i thought my first relationship was going to be something special and romantic that'd stay with me forever."
"first times being special is a concept created by society to pressure us into waiting for 'the right one'. thinking that the first time is what will decide what the rest of your life will look like. my whole love life is filled with non special first times. my first kiss? during a spin the bottle. my first time? i was drunk out of my mind and just sleep with some guy at a party. first love? it was all a game for him to begin with. but relationships are overrated anyway. they just lead to heartbreaks."
"how can you say that? love is such a beautiful thing."
"love is a beautiful thing. relationships...", your hands playing with his fingers mindlessly as you found yourself lost in your own world for a moment, "when you find the love you deserve, even if it wasn't the one you were looking for, hold onto it. look for love, not relationships."
"i hope we'll find the love we both want and deserve, bunny.", jaemin said, squeezing your hand as you smiled up at him.
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"you think chaeryeong and shotaro will finally get with each other tonight?", ryujin asked jimin and you as you waited for her to finish getting ready to go out.
"they've been going out on so many dates but haven't even held hands yet.", jimin said.
"oh really? it's kinda cute though.", you said.
"you're such a softie, y/n.", ryujin teased.
"how is it going with sungchan?", jimin teased further.
"what do you mean?", you knew exactly what she meant but chose to act oblivious.
"you two would look so good together.", ryujin commented.
"for real, i wanna puke every time i see the two of you giggling with each other.", jimin said.
"i don't think he likes me like that.", you replied, trying to shut down their fantasies.
"what about you?", jimin suddenly asked.
"i...", you hesitated and even though it was for a few seconds your friends jumped on the occasion to tease you again.
"ooooh, you're totally into him!", ryujin almost screamed and your cheeks started to burn.
"she's blushing!", jimin pointed out.
"oh my god! you guys are insufferable.", you whined hiding yourself behind one of ryujin's pillows.
your phone vibrated as it received a message.
i'm here :D
"sungchan's here.", you announced to your two friends.
"of course, he texted you.", jimin teased.
"it's just a text.", you rolled your eyes.
"he could have texted the groupchat.", jimin retorted.
"...shut up.", you said, running out of argument.
the three of you grabbed everything you needed before heading out. you met up with sungchan who was waiting for you in his car in front of the building. his eyes looked up from his phone and he smiled as he saw the three of you walking towards him. he unlocked the doors for you and you got into the passenger seat as ryujin and jimin got in the back.
"hey.", you greeted.
"hey.", he greeted back with a smile, "are you my gps today?"
"i guess.", you chuckled, "i'm bad at giving direction though. i just like sitting in the front."
sungchan chuckled at your answer, "you can't be worse than shotaro, he just gives up half way and starts giving me direction in japanese. i don't speak japanese."
you put your hand in front of your mouth, hiding your laughter. sungchan started driving, following your precise indications. you arrived at the party in no time. sungchan and you high fived each other for your teamwork when you got out of the car, heading towards the frat house.
ryujin and jimin almost ran to the kitchen to get some drinks as sungchan and you followed behind them, only getting yourselves some water or juice because you didn't drink and he was on driving duty.
jaemin really needed something to get himself out of his thoughts. he's had a lot of things going through his head lately and most of those things were you. for the past few months of being your roommate, jaemin's perception of you had changed quite a bit. at first, he thought you were totally his type. if you two weren't roommates, he would've made a move on you the minute he saw you but after some talking with his friends and having renjun reminding him of the fact that he would probably have to find another roommate and chenle reminding him how hard it was, he quickly gave up on the idea. then, he thought that you were cute and that you two could be good roommates, going grocery shopping and cooking together, keeping your relationship pretty simple, but after spending more time with you, talking with you, seeing you interacting with his friends, picked at his interest in you. that interest made you linger in his thought at random moments and made his heart beat faster every time you got near him.
your roommate's eyes landed on you and sungchan when he was looking for his friends. he didn't know you were going to be there and seeing you laughing with another guy and being touchy in a playful way made him feel something he didn't enjoy.
you, on the other hand, didn't notice jaemin staring at the two of you at all. you were concentrating on your conversation with sungchan and didn't really pay attention to your surroundings. you two were talking casually when sungchan suddenly stopped mid sentence as something caught his eyes in the distance and he started hitting your arm in excitement.
"ow, what happened? what did you see?", you asked, turning towards the direction he was looking into.
"shotaro and chaeryeong are so making out near that plant.", sungchan whispered into your ear then nodded towards the place he just mentioned.
you jumped up and down in excitement, hitting his arm like he did yours as you finally saw them, "is that really chaeryeong?"
"of course, who else?", he frowned funnily at you.
"i hope so, or imma beat his ass."
"i'll join in."
"come on. let's find ryujin and jimin to tell them.", you grabbed onto his wrist, dragging him into the search for your two friends. sungchan smoothly slid his hand into yours. it surprised you but you didn't mind it though, it felt nice.
"yah! ryujin-ah! jimin-ah!", you shouted once you spotted them. they were getting refills in the kitchen.
"ooooh y/n! i missed you!", ryujin said, throwing her arms around you in a hug, obviously drunk. you let go of sungchan's hand to hold onto your friend and not fall backwards.
"you're cuter when you're drunk you know that?", you said to her playfully.
"what did you-", jimin started before being interrupted by someone's scream.
"Y/N!!!", a voice you recognized immediately shouted, gaining your attention.
"jeno?", you looked at a highly under the influence jeno, standing in front of you.
"come with me quick.", his tone sounded like he was in a hurry.
"why? what's happening?", you asked, a little worried.
"jaemin's drunk, he needs to go home but i drank too much to drive him and some girls are trying to throw themselves at him."
your eyes were wide in shock. you remembered jaemin telling you about never getting too drunk at parties. you wondered what happened. you turned towards sungchan for a second and said, "tell them the news.", and then waved goodbye to your friends, "i'll see you later."
you followed jeno through the crowd, pushing through people to finally get to your roommate who was sitting on a couch, surrounded by a girl on each side. he had his head down and arms crossed around himself as if he didn't want anyone to touch him.
"get him home safely. you can deal with the girls, right? they kinda scare me.", jeno told you before fleeing the scene.
the girls seemed to notice your presence and turned towards you, glaring at you as if you'd ruined the chance of their life, "who are you?", one of them spat out.
you rolled your eyes and ignored her, "jaemin, let's go.", you said out loud with a gentle tone.
jaemin raised his head immediately when he heard your voice, "y/nnn!", he exclaimed, standing up with his arms open towards you.
you saw him lose balance and hurried to his side, grabbing one of his arms and putting it around you while wrapping your other arm around his waist.
you two got out of the frat house and walked to where jaemin told you he remembered parking his car, "do you have your keys with you?", you asked as you two finally managed to spot his car which was at the opposite of where jaemin told you it was. your roommate clumsily looked in his pocket and struggled to pull out his set of keys.
you helped him into the passenger seat, putting his seat belt on for him.
"you can sleep if you want.", you told jaemin as you started driving away.
the car fell into a comfortable silence as you concentrated on the road ahead of you and jaemin was concentrating on you. he watched your side profile in silence, from your eyes, reflecting the lights of the streets, to your pretty nose that made him want to boop it, to your full cheeks, he had to refrain himself from squishing them, then finally to your lips, he was dying to know how they would feel on his.
"you're staring.", you pointed out, breaking the peaceful silence.
"you're pretty.", jaemin complimented.
you gulped, feeling your hands sweating a little as you tried hard to not look in his direction. you never knew how to react when he complimented you.
jaemin clung onto you from the moment you helped him out of his car to the moment you put him in bed, "can't you stay?", jaemin pouted, batting his eyelashes at you as his arms were still around your neck.
"no, jaemin, you need to sleep.", you said.
jaemin let go of you and pouted even more, "alright. i'm all about consent.", he said, cuddling into his covers.
you smiled at his behavior, "goodnight, jaemin.", you said, before leaving.
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the holidays period had arrived and you didn't go home this time, deciding on saving the money you would've used for the trip. instead, for christmas, you met with your friends at ryujin and jimin's place for a secret santa. there was you, ryujin, jimin, chaeryeong, sungchan and shotaro. you got sungchan and chaeryeong got you. chaeryeong gave you a cute bob she customized herself with a design she made that reminded her of you, it was so pretty. you got sungchan a pair of scissors for left handed people as an inside joke you two had and his real present was a limited edition merch of a game he couldn't stop talking about. it was cute when his eyes started sparkling.
after that you stayed a few more days at your friends' apartment, squatting their couch.
"are you doing something for the new year?", was the first thing your roommate told you as you picked up his call.
"nothing really. why?"
"i'm doing something at the apartment with some of the guys. wanna join?"
"yeah why- wait. you're home right now?"
"yeah."
"what? why didn't you text me?"
"because i thought you were with your family?"
"i'm squatting ryujin and jimin's place since like christmas."
after your call with jaemin, you hurriedly packed your stuff that lingered around your friends' apartment and quickly left, shouting them a goodbye and freeing their couch from your presence.
once you got home, you were welcomed by jaemin's smile and outstretched arms. you accepted the hug, welcoming your roommate home, "why weren't you home?"
"one night, i heard something falling in the kitchen and you were already gone for like two days so i got scared and packed my bags as soon as the sun got up."
jaemin chuckled at your story, patting your head in comfort.
"so, who's gonna be there for the new year?", you asked.
"apart from you and me. renjun, jeno, chenle, and jisung. donghyuck have something already. and mark is spending it with his girlfriend. hyuck got sulky when he realized he was one of the only two absent."
"can i invite my friends too?"
"sure, just let me know how many will be there."
you quickly texted your friends' groupchat asking about everyone's plan for the new year. chaeryeong and shotaro were going to be with their respective family but ryujin, jimin and sungchan were in. you told jaemin that three of your friends were coming over and from there you two talked about the preparations. you made a list for the food, a list for the decorations, even a list of what to hide so they wouldn't be broken.
the two of you went shopping together buying all the things you needed for the party while having lots of fun. you kept playing around with things you found funny in different aisle as jaemin watched and laughed as if you were the funniest comedian on earth. he was down bad.
"should we set a dress code for the party or not?", you asked, turning to your roommate in the middle of the confettis section of the store.
"well, if that means i can see you in that black dress again...", he jokingly said in a flirty way as he looked at you in the eyes. jaemin had that intense gaze in his eyes sometimes that made your body shiver.
you rolled your eyes, keeping your composure, "i was thinking about a pajamas competition or something like that."
"you'd look good either way.", jaemin shrugged as he kept pushing the cart nonchalantly. thankfully, he didn't notice your cheeks turning pink.
the hardest part of this new year party was actually setting everything up the day of it. jaemin didn't stop messing with you, from poking your side when your were busy putting decorations up, to back hugging you when you were cutting vegetables and not helping with the cooking at all. the food you prepared was pretty simple, fried chicken, pasta, stir fried noodles with vegetables and meat and fried rice.
"i should've accepted donghyuck's roommate proposition of helping us with cooking.", jaemin said, his chin on your shoulder as he watched you chop vegetables.
"you turned down a chef-in-training's help?", you asked, kind of dumbfounded. you could've ate the best version of every dish you were making.
"i wanted to cook just with you.", jaemin pouted.
"oh, 'cause you are so cooking right now.", you said, looking down at his arms linked around your waist.
"i can help you cut vegetables."
"how ar-", you interrupted yourself when jaemin placed his hands on yours and started moving them as if he was playing with a doll, "well, i'm going to rest then.", you leaned back on your roommate, your head resting on his shoulder. you learned to go along with his flirting, if it was something you couldn't escape than you decided to embrace it. jaemin smirked, feeling your body pressed against his as he glanced as your face.
the doorbell ringing surprised the two of you as it was still pretty early. jaemin went to check who it was while you continued cooking.
"wooah. you decorated the place?", you recognized the voice of your second mom immediately.
"no, it looks like that all year long.", you sarcastically answered.
the guest walked into the living room and saw you cooking in the open kitchen.
"what are you guys doing here so early?", you asked, seeing the three familiar faces of your friends.
"we thought since you invited us, we'd at least help you with something.", jimin said, settling her bag on your couch.
"you came at the right time. we need hands in the kitchen. this guy only took out the ingredients so far.", you pointed your knife accusingly at jaemin.
"let's get this started for real.", sungchan said.
the five of you started cooking together, it was a little hard since the kitchen was small for the number of people in it. ryujin and jimin were on pasta duty, sungchan and you were on stir fried noodles duty and jaemin was on fried rice duty. the first people to finish their dish would prepare the friend chicken. since yours and sungchan's dish was longer to prepare, the other three moved to the living room table for the fried chicken.
seeing you and sungchan cooking together and joking around with each other in the kitchen kind of irritated jaemin, making him make some mistakes with coating the chicken. jimin and ryujin noticed, giving each other a knowing look. as sungchan and you finished stir frying the noodles, putting it in a dish, the doorbell rang. the fried chicken team having finished as well, jaemin went back to the kitchen with the uncooked fried chicken while ryujin cleaned the table and jimin went to open the door to whoever just arrived.
"woah, that was quick.", you said, noticing your roommate. he kind of ignored you, and just put the plate on the counter next to the electric stove before walking back to the living room and retrieved the other dirty plates. you frowned a little at his behavior. he would usually retort something funny or brag about his skills.
"do you think we put enough seasoning?", sungchan's voice brought your attention back to him.
"mmmh, i think it's alright. i'm the best for seasoning things with my gut feeling.", you said, with a thumb up.
"oh really?", he exclaimed in a playful tone, "we'll see then, if it's bad you owe me coffee."
"deal.", you two shook hands to seal the deal, "i'm going to change, my clothes smell like stir fried everything."
you quickly got back to your room to change into your new year look. jaemin and you settled on no dress code because jaemin said, "i'm sure jeno will forget and not dress accordingly, chenle will be over the top and jisung is too broke. renjun is the only that's gonna on theme."
you slipped into that one black dress jaemin couldn't stop mentioning, added more to your normal makeup to make it more festive and applied some perfume. you checked yourself one last time in your mirror before heading back out to the living room.
by the time you finished getting ready, everyone had arrived and were talking around the table. all the dishes were laid out on the table, only the fried chicken was missing. you waved hello at all your guests before heading towards the kitchen.
jaemin was there with an apron on, frying the last pieces of chicken. he sensed your presence as you stood next to him but didn't acknowledge it whatsoever. his expression was more serious than usual, "what's wrong?", you asked, breaking the heavy silence.
"nothing, i'm just concentrating on the food.", jaemin answered.
you knew he didn't tell you everything but you resorted to just resting your chin on his shoulder, not wanting to leave him alone while he cooked for everyone. jaemin didn't show it but his heart was beating like crazy and a smile started re appearing on his face.
"you smell good.", jaemin complimented.
"you smell like fried chicken.", you replied, jokingly.
jaemin gave you a side look before flicking your forehead. you whined, your hand rubbing the place where he flicked you, "you can bring this plate out first, this is almost done."
you obeyed, taking the plate of fried chicken while sticking your tongue out at him like a five year old. you came back to the living room where everyone was playing a game where they had to guess the name they had on their forehead. you put the plate down on the table and sat on the ground next to sungchan, who gave you the pillow he had to put on your lap since you were wearing a dress.
"it's time to eat. come on, last round everyone, first to guess, first to win.", jimin said out lout.
you laughed as each of them failed to guess who was on their paper, even sungchan, "how could you not get the lady on the starbucks cup?", you asked, removing the paper scotched on his forehead for him.
"you mean how could i have guessed that. there's no way anyone would've guessed it.", sungchan replied.
"i would've.", you retorted.
"you wouldn't have."
"totally would."
"you're in denial."
"i-"
your banter was interrupted by jaemin almost throwing the second plate of fried chicken down on the table, "let's eat before it gets cold.", he said, sitting down on the other side on you. you all started enjoying the meal you've prepared with care, you've never had that many variety of dish at the same time before.
"shit, the stir fried noodles are good.", sungchan muttered next to you.
"told you i could measure my spices.", you said, hitting his arm slightly with yours.
"then i will bring you your coffee personally the first day back at uni, spice master.", sungchan jokingly said, bowing a little while swirling his hand.
"i'll look forward to it, dear.", you replied with the same tone, waving your hand as well. jaemin cleared his throat next to you, earning your attention but when you turned towards him he was just enjoying his food normally.
after you all finished eating, the ones who didn't help cooking took care of the dishes while the rest of you enjoyed the drinks jeno and renjun brought. you were playing a game of 'put a finger down if', and the loser would have to one shot a bowl of makgeolli.
"i have slept with more than ten people.", jimin said, obviously having a target in mind.
"that was too unfair.", jaemin said, shaking his head while folding one of his fingers.
you shocked everyone by folding one of yours as well.
"what? y/n?!", ryujin practically screamed in shock.
"yah! you hid that from us?", jimin joined in.
"what? what? what? what is happening?", chenle shouted from behind the kitchen counter.
"y/n is a player!", sungchan answered chenle, making you turn towards him and push him playfully.
"really?!", jeno screamed.
"are you serious?", ryujin asked, her eyes having not return to their normal size yet.
"yah! why do you seem so shocked?!"
"they grow up so fast.", jimin jokingly sniffed and patted her under eyes to get rid of her imaginary tears.
"i didn't know you had game.", sungchan said next to you, making you push him again, harder this time as he fell on his side while laughing.
"you sure have some secrets, bunny.", jaemin whispered to you in the midst of the chaos. you rolled your eyes and pushed him as well.
the game ended with your loss when the others returned from the kitchen.
"want me to get you something else to one shot?", jaemin asked you as they all knew that you didn't really drink alcohol.
"it's alright. it's been a while anyway, i'm gonna be fine.", you replied.
you brought the bowl to your lips and started drinking slowly as your friends cheered for you. with a last gulp, you finished the alcoholic beverage. it had been so long that you had almost forgot how it tasted like.
"sorry guys, unexpected return of roommate. i have to go.", renjun said, as he stood up.
"you can drive?", jeno asked.
"yeah, i haven't started drinking yet.", renjun replied.
"alright, see you then.", you all waved goodbye to renjun as he hurriedly left.
you were a few hours away from the new year and your tiredness started to hit you hard. you were fighting to keep your eyes open and the makgeolli you drank didn't really help. your alcohol tolerance really dropped. you weren't drunk or anything, it was just enough to make you feel how tired you were even more. you were the kind of person to sleep early and wake up early so you were really fighting yourself.
"don't fall asleep, you'll miss the new year.", sungchan nudged you slightly as your head was resting on his shoulder.
"i'll just rest my eyes for a second.", you replied, your voice so small that he almost missed it. sungchan patted your hand in comfort and just ended up leaving it there while he talked with chenle and ryujin.
everyone was engrossed in their own conversation to notice you, except jaemin who seemed to be even more fired up than before.
"if you get any tenser you'll just transform into a rock.", jeno told his friend.
"i'm fine.", jaemin replied a little dismissively.
"dude, you've had heart eyes for her for a while now. you're also her roommate, you see her more and you've been acting like a couple every time i was over, which made me want to hang myself sometimes, not gonna lie so why you backing down now?"
"you're one to talk.", jaemin started, alluding to jeno's personal life, "and i'm not backing down, i just-", he stopped as he glanced at your sleepy figure so close to sungchan. he can't help himself but wonder if the signs he picked up on from you were just in his head.
a loud explosion coming from outside startled you and stopped every on going conversation. you sat straight up and looked outside like everyone.
"oooh, the fireworks are starting.", jimin said.
you all rushed to the windows to observe it most of your friends went to the bigger windows as you opted for the smaller one. you felt the fresh air hitting your face as you opened it.
"it's pretty.", you said, watching the fireworks explode in multiple colors.
"it is.", sungchan replied as his eyes lingered on you for a moment before turning his attention towards the fireworks, "are you feeling better?"
"mmmmh yeah. the fireworks and bright lighting helped.", you joked, making him laugh a little.
there was even more noise when people started screaming and counting.
"5...4...3...2...1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!", lots of people shouted along with you and your friends. people on the streets were celebrating as well as your neighbors and people from other apartment buildings around you and even people driving were honking like crazy.
you turned towards sungchan to see that he was already looking at you, "what?", you asked as he seemed to have something on his mind.
sungchan smiled at you before moving his hand close to your face and pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. his hand didn't move afterwards, his eyes looking for any sign of discomfort on your face. he then brought his face down to yours, still looking at you. you knew what he wanted to do and you didn't back out nor stopped him. you didn't want to. your gaze dropped down to his lips and leaned slightly forwards as if to tell him that it was okay. sungchan closed the gap between the two of you, his lips softly touched yours as he became your first kiss of the year.
no one really noticed the two of you as they were all too busy screaming and celebrating. all, except one person who spilled his drink on himself when he screamed 'happy new year' too excitedly.
jaemin.
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thankfully, your first day in uni of the year wasn't right after the new year celebration because you were exhausted from all the cooking, the cleaning and the celebration. your friends all left quite early in the morning, not sleeping at all and deciding to call an uber for safety since they shouldn't drive in their state. you told jimin to give you her car keys, so you could drive her car to uni to avoid her the inconvenience of coming back here.
jaemin and you spent the next day, or rather afternoon, because you two slept until noon, cleaning the apartment. you didn't interact much since you still had the kiss with sungchan on your mind but even with that aside, you felt like jaemin was avoiding you. little did you know, your roommate also had yours and sungchan's kiss on his mind. after seeing the two of you, his mood switched instantly. he didn't know why his little crush on you affected him that much. or is it because it wasn't only a small crush?
you let it slide the first day, blaming it on the exhaustion caused by the new year but when the next days, jaemin was still acting the same, you started to worry. you tried asking him simple things to start at least a small conversation with him but he dodged every question and even straight up ignored you sometimes. the lack of attention from him did feel weird.
"okay, i can't do this anymore. what's wrong with you?", you finally snapped when you two passed each other in the hallway as you were heading back to your room and he was heading to the bathroom.
"what's wrong with ME? what's wrong with YOU?!", jaemin snapped back, turning around to face you.
"me?", you repeated, confused.
"one minute, you're warm, the other one, you're cold. one minute, you treat me like a friend, the other one, you act like i'm the worse fuckboy to ever exist. one minute...we're hugging and being domestic as fuck, and the other...you're...kissing another guy. this is driving me crazy, y/n. you're driving crazy. i don't know if you like me or not, or just what you think of me."
"i-", you were speechless. your mind was blank, still trying to register the informations.
"i'll leave you with your thoughts.", jaemin said, before turning around again, walking into the bathroom.
you were indeed drowning in your thoughts for the rest of the night, having trouble sleeping even. you couldn't wrap your head around what was actually happening. were you really stuck between two completely different guys? even when you managed to finally shut your brain off, your subconscious took over and you dreamed of the both of them.
when you woke up the next morning, you cursed the timing for having to go back to uni right after what happened. jaemin already left which made you kind of relieved, you wouldn't have known how to act around him. you drove jimin's car to uni, giving your friend her keys back at lunch.
you were really out of it the whole day. at first, ryujin thought that it was just because you haven't had any caffeine yet but when sungchan showed up with the cup of coffee he owed you from the bet, you didn't seem to get any better. you were thankful to sungchan who was extra sweet with you, seeing that you weren't feeling well.
"hey, are you free after class this afternoon?", sungchan asked you as you were sitting at lunch with everyone else.
"i'm doing something with the girls later.", you said, quickly followed by, "don't worry, we'll talk another day."
"alright.", sungchan sent you a relaxed smile as he patted your head.
you knew he wanted to talk about the kiss and the status of your relationship now that that happened but you weren't even sure what to tell him if you two talked right now.
you needed an emergency girls' night and it came in a form of snacks packaging all over your friends' living room's floor while ryujin and jimin were listening to you talk.
"he said what because he saw what?", jimin asked after you told them everything from your kiss with sungchan to jaemin snapping at you.
"so i didn't imagined that kiss.", ryujin said, tapping her chin with her index.
"you saw it and you didn't tell me?!", jimin exclaimed, offended.
"i barely saw it and i was drunk! i thought shipping them so hard got to my brain and i was hallucinating.", ryujin retorted, making you laugh.
"tsk.", jimin shook her head at her roommate disapprovingly before turning towards you, "so what happened next?"
"well, nothing. i have to talk to sungchan about the kiss and jaemin...well...i don't know..."
"this is like a drama. who do you like best?", ryujin asked.
"i-i don't know...sungchan?"
"that sounded more like a question than an affirmation.", jimin noted.
you sighed. your thoughts were in shambles, "sungchan is literally perfect. he's a kind, sweet, the sweetest ever, he never get grumpy somehow, and he's the kind of person that brightens your day the moment you see them. he really is the perfect friend. he's considerate, funny, i feel comfortable around him. it should be him, right?"
"what about jaemin?", ryujin asked.
"he's a fuckboy."
"what else?", jimin pushed.
"what do you mean?"
"he's not just a fuckboy and you know that. describe him like you did sungchan.", jimin clarified.
"jaemin is...my roommate. he can be insufferable, calling me bunch of nicknames like bunny and princess, and acting overall like the fuckiest fuckboy. he is extremely clingy and he drinks that awful iced americano with four extra shots of expresso that makes me wonder how he's still alive. but there's also that sweet side to him and little things he does that he thinks others won't notice. like how he can be super caring. did i tell you how when after he found me asleep on our doorstep that morning after a party, he made sure to be home every night just in case it happened again. i had to tell him that i was going to okay and that it won't happen again when he came back home still smelling like after sex sweat, alcohol and sephora. ke kinda grew on me, somehow. he's pretty funny and watching shows with him made me realize that he was kind of a romantic...but i can't get over the fuckboy status. i've been with too many fuckboys to fall for that again."
"you never know. maybe he's different.", jimin said.
"that's what i told myself every time and i'm sick of history repeating itself."
"do you lean towards one in particular?", ryujin asked.
"i know i should choose sungchan. he's good for me. he's like a sunny day after a storm...but jaemin feels like staying home with a blanket around me when it's raining outside."
"how did you feel when sungchan and you kiss?"
"good, i mean he's not a bad kisser. it felt comfortable and nice."
"you know you sound like you've already made a choice, right?", jimin asked you, "you described sungchan as a 'perfect friend' and then proceeded to rant about jaemin with the only thing holding you back, is that he's a fuckboy."
"my sungy/n heart is broken but i have to admit that you don't seem to have that much romantic feelings towards sungchan or at least, you feel more things for jaemin. you realize that you kept using the word 'should' for sungchan, right? it's like your head vs your heart.", ryujin added.
you sighed. from the bottom of your heart, you wished you could tell them they were wrong but you knew, deep down, that you didn't feel anything for sungchan, or like ryujin put it, you felt more for jaemin. everything would have been much easier if you were mentally stable enough to choose someone like sungchan. your situation with jaemin was just too complicated. you always thought that his gestures towards were only platonic and maybe they were at first but it seemed to have took a turn you didn't expect.
you went home pretty late that night, after talking with your friends for hours. you saw the messages jaemin sent you a few hours earlier. you had forgot to tell him that you were going to ryujin and jimin's place since you two were awkward now.
you entered your apartment, removing your shoes and sliding into your home slippers, walking into the living room. you noticed a mass of the couch, approaching it you saw jaemin lying there with his arms crossed and eyes closed.
he was waiting for you.
even though you two were not on speaking term and he seemed fed up the last time you spoke to him, he still waited. he was still worried. and there goes that little knife that dug itself deeper into your heart.
you went to jaemin's room to retrieve his blanket, thinking he must have been freezing waiting for you and falling asleep on the couch without something warm around him. you left him a note on the table next to the couch saying that you were home and that you were okay before going into your room.
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the next day, your only class of the afternoon got canceled so sungchan and you decided to grab a coffee at the nearest coffee shop to talk about the two of you.
"so...", you started as the two of you sat down at a table in the cozy coffee shop with your drinks.
"so...", sungchan repeated.
there was a little awkward silence be fore you decided to speak again, "okay so i'm going to go straight to the point. i don't think-"
"-you have romantic feelings for me?", he interrupted with what you were going to say which startled you a little. he didn't seem sad or angry, he was just like his usual self.
"how did you-? did the girls tell you?"
sungchan laughed at your confusion, "no but it was something i kind of expected. i was hesitant at first for the new year's kiss but with a few shots and the loud fireworks, my brain said why not. i don't regret it.", he shrugged.
"i'm sorry.", you apologized.
"there's nothing to apologize for.", he nudged you, "it's not like i was in love with you or anything. it's alright. i like the idea of us maybe dating but i love being friends with you so actually, it's a win-win."
"you really are the best.", you smiled at him.
"then why aren't you dating me?!", he said but you knew that he was fully joking as he started laughing afterwards.
you got home that day, right after grabbing an early dinner with sungchan and the girls after their classes finished. when you entered the living room, jaemin was eating his dinner while watching tv on the couch, his wet hair adorning a jet black color.
he dyed his hair and holy mother of sanity did he look good.
you gulped down your thoughts and headed towards your room. you took a well deserved hot shower to clear your mind.
the following week was so awkward between the two of you. you woke up earlier every morning to leave the apartment before him and when you saw each other at home, you just walked past one another. you had to deal with your thoughts and feelings and jaemin left you the space you needed to do so even though it was killing him to not talk with you. you also felt bad every time you saw him watch a show on the couch alone, all you wanted to do was plop down next to him and enjoy some popcorn while commenting on whatever you were watching.
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"jaemin?", you called, walking into the living room and spotting jaemin's now black hair on the couch.
"mmmh?", he hummed, acknowledging your call.
"can we talk?"
"sure.", he paused his show and sat back straight on the couch, moving from the middle to one end of it so you could sit as well.
"okay, so, let me get this out of the way first.", you said, sitting down on the couch and facing jaemin.
"sungchan and i are just friends. we talked about it and decided to remain friends since i didn't have any romantic feelings for him.", you said, slowing your usual speed of speech and being as clear and simple as you could be so your roommate wouldn't misunderstand, "now, what did you mean by telling me what you told me the other day?"
jaemin's eyes had seemed to have gain a few sparkles since you cleared things about sungchan. he remained silent for a moment, his brain fusing to get the adequate words out, "i like you, a lot."
you realized that you didn't plan anything passed this. you didn't know what to say.
"i- give me a second, alright?", you said, turning sideways and inhaling all the air you could before exhaling it all along your all your messy thoughts, wiping your brain clean, "okay, so...i can't say that i feel completely indifferent towards you...but...", jaemin's head perked up at your words, "you're a fuckboy."
"i-"
"-can change? stop? treat me good? i've heard it all. and they never changed.", you saw jaemin opening his mouth again probably to defend himself, but you quickly continued, knowing what he was going to say, "i know it doesn't mean that you won't, so...i was thinking...if you're up for it...to have like a sort of trial?"
"like netflix?"
"kinda? let's not date, or flirt, or fuck anyone for like a month or two and see if we still have feelings and by we, i mean, mainly you.", you threw in a little joke at the end to lighten the mood.
"one month or two, even a whole year if i have to."
"well, we'll see if your feelings make it. i'm quite hard to love."
"i'll give it my best.", he said with a little smile, blinking his doe eyes at you.
"don't over do it.", you smiled before pushing his face backwards.
jaemin put his arms around you and brought you in a much wanted hug. he's been dying to do that since the start of your conversation, "is that okay?"
"i'll tell you if something is not okay.", you said, relaxing in his arms. you missed that feeling.
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"can i come in?", jaemin asked after knocking on your door.
"sure.", you shouted while finishing your makeup.
"are you ready to go?", he asked, stepping in. you two were going to a frat party, even though you weren't really in the mood, you still wanted to spend some time with your friends.
"yeah, just let me grab my jacket and...", you turned around to be faced with jaemin's body. you waited for him to move but he didn't, you looked up at him and said, "i thought we were leaving."
"i just want to look at you a little longer.", he said, putting his hands on your side, right on the cutouts of your white dress.
"you can do that at the party.", you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"but i'd rather do it here.", jaemin brought one of his hands up to your face, his index under your chin, lifting it up to face his own.
your eyes were fixated on his lips as you gulped. you pulled yourself out of the thoughts of how they would feel against your own and looked up at his eyes to see him still looking down, "don't ruin my lipstick.", you whispered since you two were pretty close.
"hearing you say it, makes me want to do it even more."
"oh yeah?", you slowly got on your tiptoes, getting your lips even closer to his. if you moved, you would have been able to transfer some of your lipstick on his lips. jaemin's breath got caught in his throat and he didn't dare to move a millimeter. his whole body froze. you smirked at his reaction and stepped back, walking around him to grab the jacket on your chair, "let's go."
jaemin let out a shaky sigh before following after you.
during the party, jaemin and you got separated at some point as he went to find his friends and you yours. since you didn't really felt like partying too much, so you just had some fun with your friends, dancing and laughing.
"how is it going with jaemin?", jimin asked you as you sat on a couch between her and sungchan. there was also ryujin, chaeryeong, and shotaro.
"there's something going on between you and jaemin?", shotaro asked.
"yes and no...i'm waiting to see if he's serious about this or not."
"mmmh so that's why he's been sending me death stares from that corner over there since we sat on this couch.", sungchan said, almost sounding as if he was joking but when you quickly glanced at the corner he mentioned you noticed jaemin staring in your direction among a group of guys who were just discussing with one another which made you start laughing a little.
from jaemin's point of view, you were laughing at something sungchan had said which made him kind of jealous if he was totally honest. he trusted you and knew that if you told him that there was nothing going on between sungchan and you then there was nothing but he couldn't help but feel a little stab in his heart.
after some more talking with your friends, you decided it was time for you to head home. you hugged your friends goodbye before heading outside. you swiped on your phone, ready to order a taxi to go home when someone called you, "y/n! bunny!"
you turned around instantly, recognizing the nickname, "almost didn't know it was you when you called me by my name.", you teased with a smile.
jaemin smiled back at you before asking, "are you leaving right now?"
"yeah, don't worry about me, i'll see you at home.", you said, waving him back inside.
"it's alright, we can go home together."
"i'm alright, jaemin. really."
"but i want to go home with you.", he pouted.
how could you say no to that face.
"did you drink?", you asked him.
"one cup.", he said, holding his index up.
"give me your keys.", you replied, stretching your hand out.
jaemin easily complied, sliding his keys into your hand. your ride home was quite fun, jaemin showed you mark's soundcloud and to be completely honest, his songs were pretty good. jaemin and you bopped your head to mark's voice while laughing at whatever weird moves your roommate was doing.
"first for the bathroom.", you said as soon as you heard jaemin close your apartment door.
"wait.", jaemin grabbed your wrist, spinning around to face him. he was extremely close, "can i ruin your lipstick now?"
you didn't say anything at first, your mind still trying to process his words. your eyes trailed down from his eyes to his lips and gosh did they look inviting. you slowly leaned in and pressed your lips gently on his. that was all jaemin needed to kiss you back. you stood in the middle of your living room, fully making out, your hands were in his hair while he had one one your waist while the other one cupped your cheek. you felt your heart beating so fast that at this point, you thought it was gonna beat out of your chest.
jaemin was the first one to pull away, breathing heavily, "if we keep going, it's gonna be really hard for me to stop myself..."
your brain worked it magic and lots of things went through your mind after he said that and in a short amount of time, making you blush and hide your face in his shirt.
you headed back to your room to take some clothes before going into the bathroom. you looked at yourself in the mirror and your hand instinctively went to your lips, fingers tracing your lower lip as you saw how smudged your lipstick had gotten. the event flashed in your mind and you couldn't help the smile spreading on your face. jaemin was slowly bringing the wall you had built down and even though you were scared to let someone in again, being with jaemin felt great.
that night, jaemin came into your room and asked if you two could cuddle. you sleepily opened your covers for him, sliding to one side of your bed and the both of you fell asleep in each other's arms.
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"hey, i actually don't feel like clubbing tonight, you guys go without me.", you said to jimin over the phone.
"alright! we'll send you lots of pictures!"
"alright! have fun!", you both hung up as you returned to your tv show.
that night you had planned to go to that club in itaewon that was famous for doing a monthly event for university student only but you didn't really feel like going out, you lowkey were just waiting for jaemin to get home so you could cuddle together while watching tv.
you heard the doorbell ring and were confused for a second. you got up to check the camera screen next to your door and saw a girl standing there. she seemed to be around your age and was holding something in her hands.
you pushed the mic button to speak to the person outside, "hello, who are you?"
"hello, i'm here to give jaemin his sweater back. he left it with me when we saw each other last week ."
you felt your heart drop in your stomach and a lump form in your throat. when you realized you've been silent for a long time, you managed to pull yourself together and open the door. you greeted the girl with a slight bow as she did the same.
"tell him i'm sorry i didn't gave it to him earlier, i just remembered a few hours ago."
you nodded, your brain had completely shut off.
"i'll...leave then.", she awkwardly said, before walking away.
you closed the door and let out a big sigh. you couldn't believe what just happened. you looked in the bag the girl had handed you and indeed it was one of jaemin's sweater, you had seen him wear it multiple time. you remembered telling him that you were going out tonight with the girls so did he call her over? while you were out? were they hooking up?
you felt like you've been cheated on even though technically you had no right to feel that way. he wasn't your boyfriend. this only meant that he wasn't serious about pursuing you to begin with. even though it was something you expected, it still hurt but right now you weren't really sad, you were more angry, fuming actually.
you dropped the bag in jaemin's room and went to yours, getting ready to forget about your stupid roommate.
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"hello, jaemin? this is ryujin. can you come pick y/nup? she's gone completely out of character. she's so drunk, she is actually this close to offering a strip tease to whoever says yes. we're trying to hold her back but i can't stop her. come quick, please, i'll text you the address."
as soon as jaemin heard this, he hurried back out of his apartment. he had just gotten home after his shift when he received ryujin's call and he was very confused because ryujin said that you were drunk. jaemin had never seen you drunk and the only time he saw you drink was at your new year party. he wondered why you suddenly started drinking again, especially when you seemed so done with your younger self every time you spoke about it.
jaemin found you, jimin and ryujin on the street in front of the club. you were leaning on jimin's shoulder as ryujin checked your temperature with her hand on your forehead. jaemin could see the look of relief on their face when they saw him. your roommate gave them a ride home as your two friends were exhausted from running around the club to get you. during the whole car ride, you didn't spoke nor look into jaemin's direction. you just closed your eyes and lean the farthest you could from him. even when jaemin tried to help you out the car, you ignored him and didn't let him touch you. you had regain some clarity thanks to the little drive and could totally walk and stand on your own, even though you could go off path from time to time. jaemin stayed behind you to make sure you didn't fall.
once you've reached your apartment, jaemin asked you, "hey, is everything okay?"
it was a simple question but it somehow angered you in an inimaginable way, "is everything okay? is everything OKAY?!", you scoffed, "no, everything is not okay, no.", you looked at him with spite in your eyes, "your booty call dropped by earlier. she wanted to give you your sweater back. should've told her when you were going to be home."
"what are you talking about?", jaemin asked with furrowed eyebrows.
you didn't even hear the real confusion in his voice, only interpreting his question as a lie, a way to manipulate you, like many had done before.
"you know what i'm talking about. don't play dumb.", being drunk made you a lot harsher and filter free.
"i really don't. i can assure you i have not been hooking up with anyone. how can you think that? you're the only one i've want any contact with. you're the only one i can think about. you're all i think about. how do you want me to prove it to you? do you want me to shout it out loud in the streets or in the hallways of uni? because i would do it in a heartbeat. you're driving me insane but in a good way. in a way, that makes me want more."
"that's not what i want. i don't want you to burn for me. i don't want to be the bane of your existence.", you started, quoting the infamous show you two had been watching, "i don't want passion. i want someone to love me, even when i'm boring, even when i'm mad, even when i'm sad, even when i don't talk and stay in my corner or when i'm loud and talk to everybody at a party, even when i'm old. i'm sick of the honeymoon phase. in french, they call it 'noces de chêne', oak wedding, it represents 80 years of marriage. i want that kind of love. old, long, lasting."
after that long rant, you stumbled to your room and crashed onto your bed, passing out.
the next morning, you woke up with an astronomical headache. you forgot how hangover felt like and you sure didn't miss it. you turned over on your bed and spotted a glass of water and some medication for your headache on your bedside table. you quickly took them with a little groan, due to sitting up too quickly. you remembered the events of the previous night all too well, a little embarrassed by your behavior at the club. you'll text your friends later to apologize. after taking the pills, you got up, grabbed some clothes and took a well needed shower. you've never felt that dirty after waking up. you got back into bed right after making sure you blowdried your hair and tried to get some more sleep.
a few minutes later, someone knocked on your door. you didn't answer, knowing who it was. jaemin waited a little before opening the door to your room and entering, "i made you some hangover soup."
you still didn't answer.
jaemin approached your bed with the little table tray, "i know you're awake. i heard you taking a shower."
you sighed, peeking your head out from under the blanket. you saw jaemin standing next to your bed with the tray in his hands and you knew that he wouldn't leave before you ate that soup so you sat up, allowing him to put the tray table on your bed.
you started eating in silence, still not wanting to speak to him.
"are you still mad?", jaemin asked.
slurp.
"i take that as a yes. can i at least explain myself?"
slurp.
"then i will. please refrain from throwing soup in my face until i finish talking.", you eye sided him before continuing your slurping, "so, i saw the bag in my room. i guess you were talking about that yesterday. i did not sleep with her. she's the girl from high school i talked to you about. she just wanted to clear up some misunderstandings we had. she spilled her coffee on herself by accident and i gave her my sweater to cover it up. she sent me a message yesterday to give it back but also told me that she didn't know when she'll be able to. so i just gave her our address so she could drop it here whenever she could. i told her to leave it in front of the door if no one was home. i did not sleep with anyone since i told you i love you. well, technically, i didn't say it but the meaning was there, well...anyway..."
your eyes perked up at the word 'love', you knew it wasn't as if he told you he was in love with you but still, it was a strong feeling that you didn't know someone could feel towards you.
jaemin, as if he saw the perplexity in your eyes, said, "i love when we go grocery shopping together. i love when we cook together or watch shows together. i love when it's getting late and you knock on my door to make sure i've had dinner. i love how your eyes sparkle and almost turn into crescent moons when you hear or see something funny. i love when you hold my hand even if it's for a split second. and i especially love how i feel around you. i've been falling for you more and more each day and i've learn to love every little thing about you. i don't know who told you you were hard to love, but loving you is the easiest thing i have ever done."
your gaze softened at his speech. you dropped your spoon and grabbed his face, giving him a soft peck on the lips.
you had to admit that you were blinded by your emotions and trauma at first. having lived that same situation many times where your ex boyfriends would cheat on you and then deny it, even though you caught them in the act, on your on bed, like sure bob, that's your cousin and her weird way of greeting you. but you knew that you could trust jaemin, you two were friends before all this and you felt bad for not giving him the benefit of the doubt and snapping at him instead of remaining calm and communicating.
"i'm sorry...for yesterday and for assuming.", you apologized.
"it's alright. you can make it up to me later with lots of kisses and cuddles.", he said, kissing the top of your head, "can i be your boyfriend now?"
you smiled, "sure."
"yayyy, girlfriend!", he exclaimed. he was going to tackle you but remembered the tray and quickly got rid of it.
"eeeh, i wasn't done with that.", you said, hand reaching out for the food but jaemin was too quick.
"there's plenty more. i want to cuddle.", he said, opening his arms and almost jumping on top of you. you snuggled in his arms, breathing in his scent. you felt safe in his arms.
looking back, you definitely involved yourself more than necessary with na jaemin.
but that was probably the best thing you had ever done.
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imnotjaesblog · 17 days
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🎀Pretty Pink Lips 🎀
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Sum short because I love Jaemin.
Warnings: None.
Fluffy, very Fluffy. Suggestive at the end.
Minors do not read!
Words: 600
He chuckled eyelashes dusting his cheeks for a brief moment. You pulled your hand back unable to hold back your giggles blush brush still in your hand. His laughter died down and he finally remained still. You brought the brush back to his cheeks patting the light pink color into his skin.
“If you don’t stop I’ll put bows in your hair,” you teased holding the brush back. Jaemin chuckled unable to wipe the smile from his pink lips. “I wouldn’t mind,” he said softly.
You were inches from his face. He let his eyes close finding it difficult to look at your face. Earlier when you had applied the mascara to his lashes he couldn’t help but in every pause of a moment look at you.
And not just look into your eyes and gaze at the small twinkle but look at you. Every inch of your face. You hadn’t realized it yet but when Jaemin looked at you his gaze was so intense it was like he could see your soul.
You had caught him starring just now punching his shoulder lightly to get his attention which made the two of you laugh. His head fell back and he almost lost balance but you caught him.
Jaemin never questioned the relationship you two had. Happy to remain by your side as your friend even if that meant supporting the other men you brought into your lives. Since the two of you met he had been there for your heartaches and collected your tears in his t-shirts. He was happy to be your best friend.
But with you sitting on your bed and in between his legs he felt the question burning up inside him. You were so close to him. He could smell the faint smell of your perfume. At certain points even you moved even closer to his face he could hear your steady breaths.
He smiled with his eyes still shut thinking of you and what would happened if he just opened his eyes and asked you that question.
You patted his shoulder. “You don’t have to close your eyes anymore. That was just for the eye stuff,” you said with a smile. Jaemin gently lifted his lashes from his cheeks. Eyes peeling open and looking deeply into yours.
There was that look again. You thought. You ignored it picking up a baby pink lipgloss. You opened the tupe showing him with your own to part his lips. Jaemin always had pretty lips. Naturally pink and plumped the gloss did nothing but enhance the beauty of his lips. You showed him again with your own to rub them together. He did.
He waited for you to do something else. He liked when you practice makeup on him. It made you happy and it gave him an excuse to be so close to you.
Unfortunately that would be the last step of your routine. But there it was again. He was looking deeply into your eyes. You gently pushed his chest. “Why are you starring at me?” You asked him. His eyes slightly heavy and mind clouded with your sweet perfume shook his head. “I don’t know,” he responded.
Trapped in a daze he still knew deep down you didn’t understand his feelings for you. You didn’t understand because you didn’t feel the same. So he thought.
You chuckled going to move away from him but the hand that pushed you up accidentally slipped on a loose mascara tupe. You feel forward onto his chest. The two of you chuckled so the shared laughter dying down when you realized how close you were to him. Your head resting on his firm chest. You could feel the warmth through his t-shirt. Your hand pressed against his skin feeling the curves of his stomach.
Jaemin gasped out a low chuckle. But you hadn’t laughed. Instead you gently pushed him back crawling up his chest. You placed your hand behind his neck fingers laced in his brown hair. Confused but refusing to protest your actions he rested on your pillow hands firmly placed at your waist.
“Y/n what are you doing?” He asked. “I see the way you look at me. I look at you that way to, accept I guess you never noticed,” you said with a flash between his lips and eyes.
“Really?” He asked genuinely surprised. It still didn’t answer his question but he couldn’t be to upset he never asked it. You nodded. “Accept while you were always looking at my eyes. I was looking at your lips,” you said hovering of his mouth before your lips met his. He pulled you close to him your chest laying in top of his.
You released from his mouth panting of his lips. Him doing the same. You smirked.
“Now so me what else those lips can do,” you said Just above a whisper looking deeply into his eyes flicking down to his pink glossy lips. The same gloss you could taste on your tongue remained smudged all over his lips.
I love him 🤧
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jishyucks · 6 months
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When the Stars Align — njm
‣ pairing: guard!Jaemin x princess!reader
‣ genre: fluff, royal!au, friends-to-lovers
‣ wc: 2.2k
‣ summary: ❝The stars may seem unreachable, but they have a way of surprising us sometimes❞; In which Jaemin believes that his wish on the stars is absurd 
‣ warnings?: nothing basically, long paragraphs near the end
‣ an: the two songs goodbye. I wasn’t going to add songs but I’ll just keep them there,, anywaysss I wrote this really quick bc I wanted to post something so it might not be my best,, but I honestly still think it’s cute (●'◡'●) also pls ignore the whack title pic for this I might change it later,,, pls enjoy!
‣ tags: @mosviqu @flowerjun
[Songs] A Starry Night in Apollo Bay — RINI | I See the Light — Tangled
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Every night that Jaemin was on duty, he always made a single wish upon both the stars that continued to twinkle and those that had long faded away.
His wish wasn’t special, nor was it ordinary—he simply wished for there to be a shift in the stars, one that only he could recognize. 
It started out as a joke he made to himself, a way to alleviate the monotony of gazing at the same sky night after night. Sure, the sky was undeniably beautiful, but when he initially made the wish, he was hoping he’d see something different, like a planet with more prominence, maybe a shooting star, or perhaps even a supermoon. 
However, everything changed when he met you by chance one evening. His wish took on a different significance—that maybe the stars would align themselves in such a way that your feelings would mirror his own.
If that was even possible, Jaemin scoffed at his own thought. He was nothing but a guard. A junior guard at that. Why would someone like you, the princess, consider him in that way when you had your pick of suitors at your beck and call?
The corners of Jaemin’s mouth turn downward at the thought. It wasn’t the hardest thought to swallow, but it still hurt nonetheless. These were his own emotions, ones that he shouldn’t have even developed in the first place. Yet here he was, wallowing in the fact that you might only see him as a friend.
As he let his head fall back, Jaemin gazed up at the night sky he had practically befriended. The constellations were like old friends, ones he knew almost as well as he knew himself.
It was peaceful outside of the castle. In fact, it was so peaceful that he almost forgot that there were people inside of the building celebrating the Queen’s birthday. If he listened carefully, he could hear the music being played. But other than that, it truly doesn’t seem like a party was happening at all.  
With his eyes closed, Jaemin readied himself to make the same wish he had been making for the past year, clearing his mind until only the wish and thoughts of you occupied it.
I wish that—
“Are you sleeping standing up?”
Jaemin’s wish is interrupted by the sound of your voice. He turns to find you, standing in the dress you personally chose for the occasion. He remembers you going on about it a few weeks ago, stuck choosing between dark and pastels. 
The word beautiful was the first thing that entered Jaemin’s mind. You looked beautiful. So beautiful that you made Jaemin’s breath hitch at the back of his throat. But he quickly rids that thought. 
“Y/N,” he counters, “What are you doing out here?”
Jaemin hopes you don’t hear the way his heart is pounding against his rib cage. And if you do, he hopes you mistake it for the music playing inside. 
“I wanted to get some air,” you shrug nonchalantly, “And I wanted to see you.” You find a nice clean spot on the steps leading down and onto the long driveway before sitting down. You turn to Jaemin expectantly, but when he doesn’t quite get your signal, you gesture for him to join you, “Come sit.”
“I can’t,” Jaemin frowns, “I’m on duty.” 
You mirror his expression, but you add furrowed brows, “This is an order.” 
Jaemin huffs. Despite it being his job to serve your family, he hates it when you use your position to coax him into situations like this. He hesitantly makes his way over to you. Sitting down just a few inches away from you. He's unsure of how to position himself, his body sitting up stiff and straight beside yours.
Turning to look at Jaemin and seeing the way he’s quite literally sitting like he has a stick shoved up his ass, you can’t help but laugh. Shuffling over, you elbow him on the side, “Hey, relax a little bit.”
He lets out another deep sigh, but he nods and allows himself to drop his shoulders. Jaemin honestly had no idea why he was being so self-conscious right now. He wasn’t usually like this. But maybe it was because you basically caught him making a wish that was about you. 
Jaemin tries to shake the nerves out of his system. “It’s the Queen’s birthday, you should be inside.” 
Your face contorts into an unreadable expression. You shake your head and groan, “As much as I love my mom, I hate being surrounded by all those people.” 
“Those people?” Jaemin prompts.
“The wealthy, the royals, the people who hold titles they don’t deserve,” you list under your breath. Jaemin hums, “Aren’t you royalty?” 
You roll your eyes, “Yeah, but I’m not insane like a majority of them, and you of all people should know that.” You straighten your legs so that they’re stretched out in front of you. Jaemin does the same.
“Fair point.” Jaemin completely understands. From the conversations he’s overheard, the Queen strongly dislikes half the people she even invited, but had no choice due to their title, “But you really would rather be out here than in there?” 
Jaemin knows damn well that you’re an extrovert and somebody who actually likes big celebrations like the one happening today. 
You nod, “You’re out here so… yes.”
Jaemin tries to pay no mind to what you just said because he knows there’s absolutely no way that there’s any other meaning to it. Obviously you’d be bored without him… you two were each other’s best friend. Jaemin can only imagine having to attend a big party without a friend. 
“What?” A stupid response, but Jaemin genuinely did not know how to respond to that. He looks over at you in anticipation of a response. He can see your eyes moving back and forth, trying to dig out a reply that would make sense. 
“I would… honestly want to be wherever you are, Jaemin-ie.” You reach over to poke his shoulder, “I can really be myself with you.” You try to make it sound not as serious as it actually was. This was basically a platonic confession, something that you’ve never told him before. 
Jaemin’s still in denial that you actually prefer being with him. He doesn’t see himself as anything special, so why do you seem to genuinely like his company? 
“But… you belong inside with all those people,” Jaemin starts, “Not because you’re similar to them, because like you said a lot of them are snobs… but… you’re a princess, Y/N. You’re next in line to rule this place! And… ” 
You know where he’s trying to get at despite his lack of words. “Who’s to say where I belong besides me… I like it out here!” you declare confidently. Then you pause and tap your heels against the pavement beneath your feet, “What if I belong out here, and with you?” 
The question hangs in the air and Jaemin can’t quite piece together what you’re implying. He doesn’t want to jump to conclusions, “Y-you’re just saying nonsense at this point… Are you drunk?” Jaemin leans over to look you in the eye as if this would confirm his suspicions. 
You laugh, pushing him away, and confess, “I’m a little tipsy. But! But I’m sober enough to know what I’m saying.” 
Jaemin narrows his eyes. “Yeah, sure you are.”
And your eyes do the opposite, widening until your eyeballs are bulging out of their sockets, “I am!” You gently hit his shoulder, “I’m sober! I barely drank. Did I seem drunk when I came out?”
Pressing his lips into a taut line, Jaemin thinks of a way to prove that what you were saying was because you were intoxicated. He can’t process your last question—and with you?—what was that supposed to mean? 
“Walk in a straight line for me right now.” 
Knowing that Jaemin’s not going to stop until you prove that you’re sober, you groan and stand up, making your way to the edge of a stair. You prepare yourself, lining your feet one in front of the other and hiking up the skirt of your dress to make them visible to Jaemin. With ease, you walk in the straightest line you’ve ever walked, “See? I’m sober.”
Jaemin has no other choice but to believe you, “But what about—”
“Are you not listening to me?” you huff, cutting Jaemin off before he can complete his sentence. You can already anticipate what he's about to say. “I can’t stand any of them!” You make your way back to Jaemin and settle down in your previous spot. He observes your actions, waiting for you to provide more context before he can respond. 
“You know… that feeling when you’ve been underwater for too long? The pressure building up in your head?” 
Jaemin nods, “Yes.”
“Well…” you continue, “Being with you is like… finally being able to float back up to the surface to breathe.” Then you add, “I honestly don’t know how I’m going to survive without you, Jaemin.” 
Jaemin’s heart is knocking against his ribcage. Are you saying…
“Would it be ridiculous if I said I have feelings for you?” 
Jaemin’s afraid to turn and look at you. He can feel your heavy gaze resting comfortably on his cheekbone. Your eyes trace his side profile, and he can sense the tension building in the silence as you wait for his response to your impulsive confession. Your palms grow sweaty while you wait for his answer to your impulsive confession. 
“Me?” Another stupid response. 
“You.”
Jaemin shakes his head, clearly in disbelief. “But—”
"Jaemin," you stop him, frustration creeping into your tone, "Are you going to keep questioning my feelings instead of giving me a real reply?" Your impatience is evident, and you're looking for a genuine response from him.
Jaemin picks at his cuticles and lets himself word his reply properly. You give him time, but the more time Jaemin spends on formulating an answer, the greater your anxiety grows. You didn’t want to ruin your friendship with Jaemin. What if your impulsiveness did just that?
After what felt like forever, Jaemin finally speaks up, “On nights like these, I talk to the moon about you to pass time…” Jaemin keeps his eyes trained at his feet, his voice filled with vulnerability. “And to the stars… I’ve been… wishing on every single one of them… that maybe you’d like me back simply because it seemed so impossible.” He swallows hard before finally turning to look at you, his eyes filled with sincerity. "Do you know why I thought that?"
You shake your head.
"Y/N, you can have anyone, and I'm not even exaggerating!" He exclaims, "The number of suitors I've seen prance into the castle, all hoping to win your hand in marriage or even just one date down in the city? It's countless… And imagine my thoughts when you rejected all of them. I believed I had no chance with you because you rejected all these men that seemed to suit you perfectly…”
His words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of his emotions. Jaemin continues, “When I started developing these feelings for you, I told myself to never get my hopes up because I’m just one junior guard and you’re a princess…” Jaemin sucks air through pursed lips and lets his head fall forward. 
“That’s why I keep questioning your feelings, Y/N,” He concludes, “I know I shouldn’t even be doing so because you’re your own person, but it’s so hard for me to believe this is real. That your feelings are real…” With one final look at you, Jaemin finally gives you his response, “So to answer your question—yes, it’s ridiculous, but it’s ridiculous to me and not in the way you think it is.”
You nod, his answer bittersweet, “It’s like the stars you’ve been wishing on.” 
Jaemin’s ears perk up, “Hmm?”
“They may seem unreachable, but they have a way of surprising us sometimes,” you snort. You let your head fall back to gaze up at the stars, the brighter ones catching your attention. "Jaemin," you continue, your voice filled with sincerity, "I really do like you. I want you to know that."
Jaemin's heart races at your words, his entire body warming with reassurance and anticipation. Acting on impulse, he gently reaches over to hold your hand. It’s not the first time he’s held your hand, but this time feels different. “I… really like you too, princess.” Your hand tightens around his, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence, letting the night air engulf the both of you. 
As Jaemin tilts his chin up for the second time tonight, his eyes finally catch a proper sight of the constellations he’s wished upon for who knows how long. He can name a few—the Dippers, and if he looks off to the side he can see Orion and Taurus. 
All of it feels achingly familiar to Jaemin... yet tonight, there was something about the sky that set it apart from the others. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was, nor if a change truly had occurred—he can just feel it. 
But with your hand nestled in his, and your synchronizing heartbeats, Jaemin honestly couldn’t care less what the change was. 
Because, somehow, it feels as if the heavens have shifted.
As if the stars have granted his wishes.
That you reciprocated his feelings.
And, at this moment, that's all that truly mattered to him.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
Thank you for reading!! (^ᗜ^ ) Pls support my writing by liking/rbing (whatever you're most comfortable with!) Hope this made u feel something hehehehe
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hyunjungjae · 3 months
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ficar com o jaemin deve ser a melhor coisa do mundo, ele te paquerando a noite toda, e você devolvendo apenas alguns olhares por se sentir nervosa, por isso quando te vê no sofá sozinha ele não perde tempo de ir se sentar ao seu lado, conversa vai, conversa vem, quando vê ele ja ta do seu ladinho com o braço por trás de sua cabeça.
o assunto acaba, vira um silêncio desconfortante, você olha fixamente para frente, evitando o garoto ao seu lado, mas não dura por muito tempo, já que Jaemin é rápido em colocar a mão do lado do seu rosto e te puxar pela nuca, e pode ter certeza que aquele será um beijo inesquecível, as línguas se encontram, dançando de uma forma interessante, suas mãozinhas vão até os ombros do garoto, descansando ali, uma sobe até o rosto dele, e ele sorri durante o beijo. a mão do Na vai de sua nuca até sua coxa, aperta te sentindo arrepiar todinha, sobe para apertar o quadril e você consegue se sentir arrepiar mais ainda, o meio de suas pernas fica molhado, você faz uma forcinha para fechar e é quando o garoto te puxa pro colo dele.
daí pra frente, vocês ja sabem😋
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luvyeni · 3 months
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ PUTTING THEM ON A SEX BAN — NCT DREAM ꒱
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— cw. mentions of sex
request: I really love your work! 💌 Can I request where skz or nct dream they get a text from their girlfriend putting them on a sex ban? hehehe tysm!!!
authors note. i hope you like it 💕!
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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©️LUVYENI
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hannie-dul-set · 9 months
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❥ HOSTILITY — na jaemin.
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p — NA JAEMIN x gn! reader. g — suggestive, stageplay! au. w — making out, swearing, reader tells jaem to k himself, reader spits on jaem's face and he does something...questionable. 438 words.
note — this got the most votes in the poll so here's another one where jaemin is an asshole and a weirdo bcs for some reason y'all seem to enjoy it as much as i do 😭 i'm p sure that my vampire jaem fic will be trapped in gdocs hell for long time, so take this as compensation. tagging — @alwayswithjaemin @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff.
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“i fucking hate you.”
na jaemin’s lips are hot on yours, a sickening flame that you want to tear yourself away from. “i hope you drop dead.” his shirt wrinkles in your fist and you groan into his mouth. “fuck you, you’re the worst.” a squeak escapes your lips when he pulls on your hair. you’re about to cuss him out but he cuts you off with another kiss.
“i get it—” he huffs, “—you can’t stand me—” teeth gnashing, tongues wet, “—but do the both of us a favor—” hungry, animalistic, “—and look at me like you wanna fuck me instead of wanting to bury me alive unless you wanna repeat this scene over and over again, yeah?”
to the eyes watching from below the stage, it may seem like a passionate moment between the characters you’re both playing, but to you it’s a set designed by hell. you want to strangle him when you wrap your arms around his neck for a breather. you want to twist a knife into his throat instead of leaving a nest butterfly kisses. 
“good,” he whispers, a wet trail from your earlobe to your jaw as he places a heavy hand on your hips straddling his lap. “last one. close your eyes.”
“eat shit.”
you throw yourself off him with a gasp when he bites hard on your bottom lip, teeth scraping against the swollen muscle and you look at him with so much abrasion and repugnance that he only laughs.
“alright, good job! let’s have a water break. be back here in ten!”
you hate na jaemin with every fiber of your being, and you won’t let him off so easily for nearly making you bleed. a nasty sound erupts from your throat. your spit lands on his cheekbone when he ducks down to grab a water bottle, which consequently drops back on the floor with a loud noise. you snicker. he’s looking at you like he wants you dead. you attempt to shove past him but jaemin yanks you back by the wrist with a staggering strength and you warn him with a sneer.
jaemin’s grip tightens around your wrist. you’re sure it’ll leave a bruise. he wipes your spit with your own two fingers and puts them in his mouth. his teeth sink into your skin. your fingers burn against his tongue. “what the fuck is wrong with you?” you exclaim after pulling yourself out of his hold.
“my bad,” he mocks, a smug look on his face. “thought you were aiming for my mouth.”
“fuck you.”
“save it for the play.”
“go kill yourself.”
“after you.”
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HOSTILITY. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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lqfiles · 1 year
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strawberries , jaemin
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he hates strawberries, yet he would never tell you that.
wc: 1.7k
“you smell nice.” jaemin’s voice startled you as he took a seat next to you, simultaneously greeting you. “thank you, it’s a new perfume i bought, i was worried people wouldn’t like it.” you smiled at him as he took out his books and turned to face you. “who cares about what others think, you only live once. worrying about other’s opinions doesn’t make you happy. despite that, i think you smell amazing so that’s what counts.” jaemin lectured you. there was no sign of a teasing and sweet tone, it was an unfamiliar deep yet serious tone. attractive, you thought. “oh.. thank you, you’re right. i don’t know why i was so worried.” your voice was barely above a whisper as your eyes stayed stuck on his face that was still staring at you. you took notice of the new hair colour he carried on his head. a nice brown-ish tint that seemed to fade into almost blonde yet it still had its obvious blonde colour. “did you dye your hair?” you asked him, focusing back on your open laptop. he hummed. the two of you were seated in the local library where you’d usually meet. jaemin wasn’t someone you knew well. you didn’t even have his phone number. let alone know anything else about him other than the fact that his name was na jaemin and he liked to come to the library, every friday afternoon. that’s how you had met him. as the two of you had seen each other many times, it was a matter of time before you formerly introduced yourself to each other.
jaemin was interesting to say the least. someone who knows he’s was very alluring and attractive, yet is very humble about it, never once complimenting himself near others. he is a sweetheart but could also tell when someone deserves a cold shoulder. one moment he can be very talkative, next second he could be with his head deep in books. he surprised you every time you saw him. “you smell like strawberries.” jaemin noted, waking you out of your daydream. “huh? oh yeah. i love strawberries. do you like strawberries?” you asked, taking the risk. you were always intrigued by him and his opinions yet never had the opportunity to ask him any questions as he’d be reading something with his earphones plugged in. “strawberries, they’re okay.” he said, slightly stopping mid sentence as if he was wondering whether it was the right thing to say. “i’ll bring them next time, maybe we can share?” you asked. you were serious when you said you wanted to get to know him. “you don’t have to, i could buy them myself.” he said, sending you small smile. that was one of the many times you tried to shoot your shot with jaemin. whether it be as friends or more. you would spray the strawberry perfume on you like it was clothing that was supposed to cover you. every single friday, you’d drown yourself in the scent of strawberries. “he thinks it smells amazing.” you’d tell yourself through the mirror, a smile on your face as you’d make your way to the library. and every single friday, jaemin would compliment you on your scent. letting you know your efforts weren’t for nothing.
you had successfully managed to get his phone number and other socials, he barely had any. it made you more interested in. you’d initiate the conversation every single time, you wondered if it bothered him but he showed no sign of any burdens. you had saved his name as “jm 🍓” and couldn’t help but grin whenever the name would pop up as an notification. “you’re so interesting, na jaemin. i look like a fool.” you sighed as you ran a hand over your face to wipe away your grin. “you sure do.” the voice that resembled that of your friend, spoke from behind you. you jumped a little, turning around to face haechan who had a teasing grin on his face. “jaemin, huh?” he said, raising his eyebrow as he walked around to sit across you in the canteen. you weren’t surprised to see him, you were one of his only friends at the college, you always expected him around. “you know him?” you asked, slightly leaning in as you wondered how haechan knew about your library crush. haechan hummed. “used to be my primary school friend, i see him around sometimes.” he said, taking out his phone before showing you a picture of what seemed to be the both of them, smiling as they held each other’s shoulder. “that’s amazing, i need you tell me everything about him.” you said leaning closer. “do i look like haechan the cupid to you.” haechan sat back as he crossed his arms. “what do you even know about him.” he questioned and it once again dawned upon you that you were clueless about him. “he is humble, funny but can be serious when he needs to be, he was friends with you.” you counted the facts you knew about him, trying your best to come up with as many as you could. “that’s it?” haechan chuckled, trying to hold back his smile. “fuck off.” you pushed him. but you knew haechan was right, how could you crush on someone you barely knew?
“strawberries!” you exclaimed out of nowhere, startling haechan who’s eyes widened for a second. “strawberries..?” he repeated after you. it was obvious that he was lost with what you were trying to suggest. “strawberries!” you grinned as placed your hands on the table. “he loves strawberries.” you continued with a proud smile on your face. you felt like you were slowly defeating haechan’s point about not knowing him, but you were caught of guard when you saw haechan burst out laughing. it took him a while to regain his composure. “please repeat that again.” he asked as his laugh died down. “doesn’t he like strawberries?” you asked frustrated as you felt confused. “the na jaemin i know despises strawberries. unless this is a different jaemin, he more than likely is lying to you.” haechan smirked. a part of you didn’t want to believe it since haechan wasn’t the most trust worthy person when it came to telling the truth, but haechan also told you that he had known him for years and even met up with him every now and then. so, just to find out whether it was all an act or haechan was pulling another prank on you, you decided to take matters into your own hands. “hello..?” jaemin asked a bit confused as he eyed the lunch box that had a bunch of strawberries in it. “just for you.” you said, placing the lunch box in his lap, holding back your grin as you saw how his own eyes slightly widened. “for me?” he questioned, looking up at you. he seemed much more tense than he usually was and you were starting to think haechan might have been telling you the truth. you nodded. “what? i thought you loved strawberries. after all you keep complimenting my perfume.” you said, shuffling over to sit a bit closer to him. “yeah.. but that’s your perfume. i can’t eat perfumes can i? also i just ate something and i might throw up if i eat something else.” jaemin spoke in a rather fast pace and that was all you needed to know to confirm haechan’s claim. the library grew silent as you just stared at him. his own wide eyes staring right back at you. you chuckled. it confused him.
“haechan told me.” you confessed as you took the lunch box out of his lap, putting one of the strawberries in your mouth before eating it. “h-haechan?” jaemin stuttered, confused how his childhood friend came into the conversation. you nodded as you ate another one of the strawberries. “i told him about you, how i wanted to get to know you. he asked me what i did know, i told him the little things i knew about you. i guess your whole strawberry enjoyer persona must’ve been an act since haechan laughed in my face telling me you despise strawberries.” you continued to eat the strawberries before your eyes landed on his lips. he always had nice lips. a nice shade of pink. it was a bummer that he didn’t like strawberries, it would have been a nice sight seeing his pretty lips right next to the bright red colour. “i’m sorry.” jaemin apologised, tilting his head away to hide his embarrassment. “i was trying to start a conversation with you. i guess your scent was the first thing i picked up on and i just went with whatever felt right. i only made it worse for myself by saying that i found it amazing and next thing we know you wore it every single friday. i guess i’m good at hiding my dislikes am i not?” jaemin awkwardly grinned. “you sure are. next time, be honest. it would’ve been so much easier for the both of us because that would’ve meant i didn’t have to spray a whole bottle of strawberry perfume on me every friday, just so i could get the cute library crush of mine to notice and compliment me.” you smiled back, putting the last strawberry in your mouth. jaemin’s own smile widened. “well i guess i don’t regret it at all now that i know the pretty library crush of mine did all that just to impress me, of all people.” it had gotten dark quick, just like the first time you wore the strawberry perfume and this time, jaemin walked you to the door. “if i said i loved strawberries from today on, would you continue wearing it just to impress me?” jaemin turned to look at you. “i would’ve worn it either way, weren’t you the one who said i should do what i want without thinking of others?” the two of you stared into each other’s eyes for a second before jaemin leaned in and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for a quick hug. “you’re right, do what pleases you.” a soft smile grew on his face before he took a few steps back. “see you next week.”
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cannedapricot · 1 year
Text
the bouquet. || njm
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in which you love watching your coffee shop regulars and irregulars go about their day. you loved hearing stories about their lives and their loved ones. yet, you'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel lonely. alternatively, you were in love with the concept of love, na jaemin was in love with you.
word count: 2.8k
genre, warnings: fluff, angst near the end, comfort i think, slice of life, coffee shop!au, flower shop!au, pining, worries about never being able to experience romance covered up with bright smiles and warm coffee, profanities
bgm: people watching by conan gray, cloud 9 by beach bunny, perfect day by mao buyi, sweet dream by nct u
a/n: this only happened because i wanted to write fluff HAHA so by default it isn't proof read also i am not a florist so idk if these flowers look good in a bouquet LMAO
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PHILIA (n) - affectionate love - yellow chrysanthemums
A warm beam of sunlight streams in through the glass window, toasting the wooden the tables and chairs in its wake. You stretch behind the counter - warm sunny afternoons always gave you the urge to nap.
Opposite you, on the other side of the store, stood your coworker amongst the displays of flowers. Na Jaemin was attractive, and more often than not, you'd hear people compare him to the flowers he worked with in attempt to woo him. They never worked though, Jaemin would always respond with a polite smile and a "thank you". You'd try your best to hold in your giggle as they leave the store with a sour expression. But then you'd meet eyes with Jaemin, he'd mouth a playful "oops", and you'd have to duck down to hide your laugh behind the counter.
It was a slow day. You barely had anyone to serve so you spent your time arranging and rearranging shelves in the back, cleaning equipment, and munching on the seasonal lavender flavored cake your store offered. Jaemin, on the other hand, seemed to be catching up on bouquet orders. Each bouquet was prepared with the same amount of care and focus as the next. Each flower was chosen with a purpose to serve. Jaemin wasn't only known as a pretty face. He was also known for his beautiful bouquets.
Seemingly haven to caught you staring, without looking up from his work, your coworker jokingly says,
"Go back to work."
"But there is no work. No one wants a coffee from me."
"I do. See, you have work."
You turn around to start his coffee - iced americano, three shots of espresso. He usually whines for more espresso but in attempt to keep his body functioning, you only allow a maximum of three shots.
The overhead bell tinkles and a woman walks in. You give them a smile over your shoulder to welcome them in. She returns the smile, but walks up to Jaemin's counter instead.
"Hi! I had an order for pick up today?"
"Oh yes, chrysanthemums right?"
The woman nods as Jaemin goes to fetch her prepared bouquet. You finish the coffee and bring it over to your coworker's counter, making conversation with the customer as you do so.
"Are the flowers for anyone?"
"They are! One of my friends is graduating today and I wanted to congratulate her as well as thank her for being such a lovely friend."
You can't help but grin at the story. The way the woman brightened up mentioning her friend. The way she spoke so highly of them. They must be someone extremely precious to her.
"A great choice of flowers." Jaemin comments, returning with a bright yellow bouquet.
"Thank you. I spent hours looking up the meanings of flowers. My friend's really into the language of flowers."
The both of you thank her for her patronage and watch as she heads off, the brightly colored flowers tucked safely in her arms.
"Happiness, joy, celebration."
"Hm?"
Jaemin takes a sip of his coffee before answering.
"You wanted to know the meaning right? I could tell."
Sometimes Jaemin's ability to read your mind scares you. How does he just know?
"Also, this coffee doesn't have the amount of espresso I requested."
"I'm saving your life." You retort, heading back to your post.
You spare a glance at the door the woman walked out of. How special it must be to have someone care for you that much. A friend who would scour the internet for the perfect flower for you. A friend who had the most precious expression talking about you.
You loved knowing the stories behind your customers. Yet, for some reason, they always made you feel more alone.
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PRAGMA (n) - enduring love - baby's breath
Entering the shop today, you were greeted with the sight of Jaemin surrounded by a copious amount of baby's breath flowers. It was certainly a sight to behold.
"A regular of ours is getting married soon - they've asked me to prepare the flowers for their wedding." He had said, bunching the small flowers together with a white ribbon. You hum, leaning on his counter as he continued to work. Jaemin's breath hitches at the proximity between the two of you - yet it goes unnoticed as you rack your brain to remember the regular.
"I remember! Is it the tall man who always shows up in a suit?"
"The one that always manages to squeeze his partner in every sentence? Yeah."
Jaemin's gaze falls upon you as you rest your head on your palms, a huge smile adorning your face.
"Adorable."
"The couple? Yeah. I can't believe they're getting married!"
His comment wasn't about the couple.
Jaemin returns his focus back on the flowers, aiming for the bunches to be as consistent as possible.
"They've been together for quite long, haven't they?" You mention, watching his slim fingers weave the perfect bow around the fragile flowers.
"Mhm, ten years I think. He said they were high school sweethearts."
A yearnful sigh escapes your lips.
"How cute. I wish I had something like that."
Jaemin gently pokes your forehead, a soft smile on his own lips.
"You're idolizing the idea of love again."
"I can't help it! Isn't the idea of falling for one another just so romantic? The butterflies, the flushed faces, the shy touches!" You squeal at the thought. Romance was your favorite genre, even if you've never experienced it personally, it was always a gem to witness.
"Instead of standing there and squealing like a high schooler - you should come around and help me with these flowers."
"But I'm not the florist - you don't see me asking you to make coffee."
"I am terrified that you will start kicking your legs like a high schooler with a crush next alright? And it's not hard, I'll teach you."
So you make your less than graceful jump across the counter, asking Jaemin to catch you (he didn't) and the two of you spent the day side by side bunching up baby's breaths.
"What do baby's breaths mean?"
Jaemin's shoulder meets yours and his fingers brush against your own as he fixes your ribbon. The sun was warm, or was that your skin flushing?
"Everlasting love."
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STORGE (n) - familiar love - white lilac
"What do you recommend for my daughter who's just given birth?"
Your ears perk up from the storage room and you immediately drop the bag of coffee beans you were holding to eavesdrop on the conversation.
"Congratulations! I'm sure you must be ecstatic!"
"I am! A healthy young granddaughter! I love her already. The entire family is celebrating."
A wave of joy crashes on you. You weren't just a sucker for romantic love, but all types of love. Humans were surrounded by love all the time, consciously or unconsciously, it was always present. And to you, there wasn't anything that made you happier than seeing others feel the joy of loving and being loved.
You sneak a peak out into the open area, just in time to see the lady leave the store, white lilacs in her bag and a skip in her step.
"Eavesdropping is rude you know?"
"Boo, I'm just trying to get in on some good news."
Jaemin laughs as you jokingly pout at him, his structure stands out against the light streaming in from the big windows. You've always thought his smile was dazzling. It really was no mystery as to why he was so popular.
"Hey, could you help with the coffee beans? You've got nothing to do now anyway."
"Ask cutely."
"I'm reporting you to the boss. That has got to be a breach of some HR protocol."
"I'm just joking." The boy says making his way towards you. Unexpectedly, he stops to tuck a small piece of white lilac behind your ear, face only inches away from yours.
"Purity, innocence. I think it suits you."
He then continues his journey to the storage room casually, as if the two of you weren't just a hair's distance away from each other.
"Na Jaemin what the fuck?"
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EROS (n) - romantic love - red roses
A knowing glance was shared between you and your coworker as a couple walks in, arms linked with each other.
"I love you honeybunches."
"I love you more sweetie pie."
The couple shares a kiss, the audible smooching loud enough to be echoing through the store. You had to pretend to clear your throat to grab their attention.
"How may I help you two?"
After placing their order, the couple giggles and slinks to a table in the corner. You notice that they sit next to each other instead of opposite.
"Is that the type of love you want?" Jaemin whispers as you froth the milk for a sweet potato latte.
"Oh come on, they're not that bad. I bet they're just in the honeymoon phase is all."
"Mhm, and they're definitely not making out in the corner right now."
With a roll of your eyes, you wipe down the metal wand. Without the noise of the machine, the wet sounds of mouth on mouth action could clearly be heard.
"They're cute!"
"Why? Do you want to make out in public as well? Come here, I can make that happen."
You were sure Jaemin was joking. The tone of his voice told you so. But when you looked into his eyes, they looked hopeful. Perhaps you were deluding yourself. All these thoughts about love were really altering the way you saw things.
"No. Go serve them their coffee."
"What? I thought you never made me do barista things?"
"It's only fair after you got me to do florist things."
Jaemin smiles at the playful quarrel, though you notice there was a hint of disappointment there. Why?
"This cake is new."
"Huh? Oh, yeah, it's the new red rose cake. The owner said they used rosewater when baking it."
"Passion, desire, romance. No wonder the couple picked it. Wish me luck."
You give your coworker a salute as he heads over with the drinks and dessert before busying yourself with cleaning. You don't notice the couple giving Jaemin advice and support regarding his stupidly obvious crush on you because stupidly, you believed that romantic love would never come to you.
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LUDUS (n) - playful love - white roses
It was a cloudless day, the skies were a lovely shade of blue, and the birds were chirping a happy tune. It was the perfect day for a first date. Which is why you found yourself craning your neck to look at the couple sitting outside.
They were evidently on their first date. The nervous fiddling, the shy giggles, the playful laughter. You weren't even part of their date, but just watching them interact made your insides bubble with excitement.
"Jaemin! Jaemin look! They're comparing hand sizes!"
"I know, I can see what you see."
You were pretending to wipe down a table on the other side of the glass, trying your best to seem uninterested in their conversation. But the reality was, you were dying to hear everything they had to say.
The florist, on the other hand, was watering his flowers. Less interested than you were, but was still listening. Most of his attention wasn't on the couple outside, it was on you.
You were fretting over every small detail, eyes wide and sparkling whenever someone made a move. You were clasping you hands together when they exchanged coy looks, excitedly muttering Jaemin's name in order to have him look.
You were in your element, and you were glowing.
When did he fall for you? Jaemin doesn't even know. You were always so into the small details, remembering the tiniest change in people. So adorable when you unknowingly purse your lips when attempting latte art. Perhaps you had him wrapped around your finger since the day you stepped in the store, asking if they were hiring. Or perhaps he fell slowly, day after day of working together and being in your presence.
Jaemin doesn't know when, but he knows that his attempts at flirting had gone unnoticed. But Jaemin doesn't know how to give up. So he's made the decision to keep trying, again and again. He'll keep trying until the day you stop loving the concept of love, and start loving him.
"Here, a white rose each for the two of you - free of charge."
The couple seemed pleased. Your jaw hanging wide open when Jaemin returned.
"Flies are going to get in your mouth."
"Jaemin... That was so smooth. That made their date even more memorable."
He hopes that one day, your rose colored glasses would be directed at him.
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PHILAUTIA (n) - self love - narcissus
The clouds were crying today, dying the sky a deep shade of gray. You sigh. It was as if the weather was mirroring your thoughts. You hated it.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Jaemin's warm hands gently hold your face, slowly turning you to face him. Hesitantly, you meet his eyes. They were worried, he was worried. You know. You could tell.
"Okay fine. I'll tell you. But no laughing alright?"
He nods.
"Its just... One of my friends got into a relationship and I'm jealous."
Silence.
"Wait, no, not because I was in love with my friend. But because I've never been in a relationship. As in, I want to know how it feels like?"
Jaemin lets out a silent sigh of relief.
"But I feel like I could never be loved like that. I've never had someone look at me as if I was the only person that ever mattered. And as much as I love the idea of that, I don't know if I'm worthy of it the way I am now."
Your voice slowly turns into a whisper, your insecurities escape and spread out in the small store. The atmosphere was heavy, around the same weight as your heart. Tears threatened to escape your eyes, the embarrassment of crying in front of your handsome coworker was the only thing holding them back.
Suddenly, Jaemin's hands, a little rough from tending to flowers, push against your cheeks.
"Y/N. You are worth loving. You are worthy of everything the world has to offer. Fuck, you're worth more than the world has to offer."
"Huh?" Was all you could make out as Jaemin's palms still had a firm grip on your cheeks.
"Listen, you are the brightest person I've ever laid my eyes upon. If you claimed you were the sun, nobody would argue differently. I don't even know how my world was before you. Stop thinking so negatively, alright?"
Ah shit. The tears were free falling now.
"Thank you, Jaemin."
The sun peeked through the clouds. A rainbow formed in the sky. A single daffodil sat in a vase on the windowsill.
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AGAPE (n) - selfless love - red carnation
Jaemin stands alone behind his counter, head in his hands. He had basically confessed to you the other day. He basically said you were his sun damn it. But you still hadn't caught on.
It was your day off today. Jaemin received a lovely selfie of you earlier of you and a friend at an amusement park. A telling smile that formed on his face told everyone in the room all they needed to know.
"Just tell her straight up." Taeyong, the owner, suggests. "At this point I don't think they'd understand if you don't."
"I don't want them to be pressured into a relationship if they're not ready or not into me though." Jaemin replies, groaning. "What if we become awkward? I don't want that. Please, anything but that. All I want is for them to realize that I've been nursing a massive crush on them"
"Make them a bouquet," Johnny, one of the cafe's investors, mentions. "You're good at those right?"
"I've tried. But they don't turn out the way I want them to."
"Try harder."
The older men snicker as the younger shoots them a glare. Jaemin lies his head down on the cool surface of the counter, his eyes catch onto the brilliant red carnations blooming on the side.
"Red carnation. "My heart aches for you"."
The next day you clock in, you find red carnations decorating your work station. They were on the espresso machine, sitting on the cookie jar, and even inside mugs.
"Jaemin? What happened while I was gone?"
The boy smiles brightly from his station opposite yours. A view you've gotten used to.
"Welcome back?"
"I was gone for one day."
"Hey, I missed you for a whole day."
A tingle makes its way up your ears. You admit, you've been thinking a lot about Jaemin's words since the day you cried in front of him. How tender and passionate those words were, how they sounded almost like a confession.
A cake box catches your attention. Wrapped in a white ribbon with your name on it.
Undoing the bow and opening the cardboard reveals flowers. Delicately placed and arranged. You carefully look over the flowers. Yellow chrysanthemums, baby's breath, white lilac, red roses, white roses, daffodils, red carnation.
"Jaemin... is this from you?"
He grins.
"You know the meaning right?"
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mochidoie · 6 months
Text
one true love - na jaemin
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listen to: symphony no. 2 in E minor, op. 27: iii. adagio by sergei rachmaninoff, royal concertgebouw orchestra, vladimir ashkenazy genre: fluff, hopelessly in love prince!jaemin wc: 715 warnings: written in lowercase only
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there you are: spinning in the arms of another and the end of your massive ball gown catching glimmer of the chandeliers above. your painted smile is all a show for the entire ballroom to feast on and you're wondering when this song will end.
in the crowd, your eyes lock with prince jaemin immediately and he doesn't shy away from your dazed stare. he marvels back, bidding you a gentle grin before the prince in your arms calls for your attention.
"you stare with admiration in your eyes, my boy." jaemin's mother whispers and slyly taps the back of his hand after witnessing the exchange in looks.
jaemin does not draw his focus away for you, center of the ballroom and breathtakingly stealing the show. "is it obvious, mother?" he chuckles, rolling his lips together and hungry for a turn to dance with you.
but not here. not where there are too many gawking eyes and envious suitors. he wishes for a dance under the moonlight, where the only spectacles would be the stars and the trees. a time where only he can see that beautiful smile of yours brightly on your face.
"i'm your mother. anything you do is obvious to me." she touches up the bang on his forehead and he looks over, seeking guidance from the only person he knew to ever find a true love.
"what should i do?"
"you should stop being cowardly and get your dance." his lungs are full of confidence and he hurries to catch you before another prince can ask for your hand. jaemin practically slides across the floor, clumsily standing right before your widen expression.
"prince jaemin-"
"may we dance?" he says, breathlessly, and extends his palm out for your taking. your heart drums at the grand offer and you simply nod, following him out to the courtyard where you two usually meet.
eagerly, you two find yourself in a more comfortable position compared to the rest of the princes you danced with this evening. his hand is placed delicately on your upper back and he intertwines your fingers high in the sky.
the moonlight is enough to illuminate the two of you, as you're both softly swaying to the sound of crickets and the light breeze. there is no music, but there doesn't need to be with jaemin. he is the only person in this entire kingdom that doesn't need distracting gimmicks to fall right into him.
"seeing you dance with all the ones that do not deserve you, it really did not settle well with me." jaemin speaks in a hush, as if disrupting the night with any decibel higher. your cheek lays on his chest and the sound of jaemin's heart play a soft tune for you. it's quick, but steady.
"well, what took you so long then?" you snicker, peering up at him with eyes full of wonder and curiosity.
he clears his throat, looking away and up at the stars. when he looks back down at you, the stars had found themselves a new place to shine. it's the first time you've seen such a twinkle in someone else's eyes. "princess, it would be disrespectful of me to not wait my turn as much as i wanted to sweep you away."
"ah, you're a fair prince." you giggle and jaemin only wishes to hear it again.
"i am also a patient one, i would wait a lifetime for you." you both come to a halt as the atmosphere between the two of you grow serious and full of love.
he has fallen silent under your intense gaze, "my dear, a lifetime is far too long to wait for someone."
however, he disputes it. "a lifetime to wait for one's true love is worth every second." and in this very moment, as jaemin holds you under the night sky and the bustling indoors only grow louder, you can hear your heart in your ears so loudly.
in this very moment, you fall so deeply in love with the prince before you. with the man who looks at you with twinkling stars in his pupils and a graceful smile, the man who loves you as deeply. the love that burns in your chest feels true and solely exists with prince jaemin.
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