#name/pronouns are both in sidebar

[hirokiyuu]

i really do need to make a blog self intro for a pinned but...... honestly i might just make it an easy access for all the stuff that i personally want to reach whenever

[litriu]

Hi artists coming here from twitter! Tumblr doesn’t have a gallery function like twitter, so here’s a step by process of what you can do to make sure people can actually find your art! (Me, I’m people, I want to see your art, please god)

More under the cut!

1. MAKE AN ART TAG

Just make a specific tag to tag all of your art with, it can be “my art”, “art”, “homoerotic bible passages”, anything you want as long as you’ll remember it.

If you have a lot of posts already, you can edit a bunch at once through your ARCHIVE page, reachable through [your_url].tumblr.com/archive

2a. FEATURED TAGS

Go into your blog settings and scroll down a bit, you’ll find a section labeled “featured tags”

Input your art tag into that

now when people go to your blog in dashboard view it will be the very first suggested search!

2b. CUSTOM DIRECTORY

Go into your blog settings

Look for the “Custom Theme” section, and click “Enable Custom Theme”

Go to your tumblr page (the one that goes [your_url].tumblr.com) and click the paint palette icon.

Find a tumblr theme with a CUSTOMIZEABLE LINK DIRECTORY with the “FIND THEMES” button! It might be called “sidebar links” or just “links” in different themes.

You can find an assortment of free themes with this functionality, try them out and play with them.

Make one of those customizable links your art tag by using the link [your_url].tumblr.com/[your art tag]

You can also do this with other social media links, a link to your commission info, your portfolio, etc.!

Congrats, you’ve made your art accessible on both the dashboard and your custom blog! If you want to be extra though:

3. MAKE AN ABOUT PAGE (optional)

Scroll to the very bottom of your theme customizing options (the paint palette icon we clicked earlier) and find the “Add A Page” button.

Give that a click, and it will let you make another custom page!

Make sure you click the “Show a link to this page” switch.

In the text box next to that switch, put whatever you’d like the page to show up listed as in your blog directory. In this case, I’d title it “about” or “about me” Most themes will automatically add this page to the sidebar directory under this name, and it should show up in dashboard view too.

There will be an option for a custom URL for the page under that! In this case, you can just do [your_url].tumblr.com/about for example.

Below that will be a box for the Page Title/Header. This is optional, but put whatever you want there.

Finally is the text box! Put whatever you want in there, but I add my art tag (+specific fandom or warning tags, textpost/reblog tab, etc.), my TOS, and things like my pronouns!

Once you’re done, click save and you’re good to go!

All finished! You have now made your art super easy to find! Great job. :]

[andipxndy-writes]

meet the writer: aj

(a.k.a. my writeblr intro, done properly)

heya!! i’ve had this blog for a while now, but i realised i haven’t ever actually done a proper intro on here, so here it is!! (also did i want the opportunity to make an aesthetic of myself??? absolutely. image made in canva and portrait on the left is from picrew, all other images were taken from unsplash)

my name is aj (she/her pronouns pls)!! i’m 26, black, and i live in the uk. i graduated from uni 3 years ago and currently work in lab admin, but i’ve been doing creative writing for 10+ years!! i’m currently trying to get back into reading by reading a book a month (i usually share the book i’m reading in the sidebar of my main blog, which i follow back with as this blog is a sideblog: @andipxndy), and i write a variety of fanfiction and original works (both based off my own characters and those i currently/have rp’d with in the past). i also take requests for fanfiction, which you can read about below the cut or in this post (i’ve made some changes which mean the post is not relevant atm)!! but in general i love being asked questions about my WIPs and my characters and basically any characters i write, because i love delving into character thoughts and doing character development (so please send me some!!).

this blog started off as a way for me to share my fanfiction writing, which is how i got into writing in the first place and how i came to love it, but now i’m wanting to expand some more share/talk about some of my original works too!! i write ya sci-fi in my original stuff, but i’m known to drift into romance, action-comedy and crime when it comes to fanfiction works. i’m also over on ao3 as andipxndy.

my main fanfic writing fandoms are abbott elementary and alex rider, just to keep things managable, but i also enjoy watching ncis, criminal minds and lockwood & co., and sometimes dive back into old favourite animes (k-on!! is my current anime obsession). i may be slow to write or respond to stuff but i DO enjoy diving into discussing fandom stuff too!! i also like playing video games like sims 4 (ea is a money grab pass it on) and cities skylines, and enjoy dnd and rping with friends!!

before this intro gets too long, here are my main WIPs:

power play (1st draft completed, left to stew)

the first original wip i planned, the story is intended to be part of a 5-book series about a 20-year-old who accidentally gives himself powers, and ends up drawn into the science underground whilst trying to save people that he may or may not have also accidentally given powers. and all whilst trying to appear completely normal to his mum and get a summer job whilst home from university.

the crossover (still working on 1st draft, is my main/november nano project)

this is an adaptation of an old rp au i had with one of my closest friends, adjusted to have new, original characters despite the same plotline. it follows a 17-year-old girl as she’s accidentally transported into a parallel universe, where her parents aren’t her parents and she doesn’t exist. in an attempt to get home, she ends up crossing paths with the people who are meant to be her family, and finds out that they’re all superheroes. insert drama and shenanigans here.

the rich life: a modern bourgeoise au (working on 1st draft, is my camp nano project)

a passion project that i’m completing for my rp partners, this au is split into a 3-book series following the lives of our characters in the upper class, those who work for them, and eventually their children, going through the drama of their lives and how they try so hard not to have it all end up in the press. that obviously doesn’t work.

fanfiction fics and requests (ongoing but this is technically a wip)

technically counts as a wip as i have a backlog of fics in progress to write and share for requesters (and some ideas i’ve had myself), but these are mainly either alex rider or abbott elementary fanfics that have been sent in via ask. you can see extra info below the cut after the next paragraph. my requests are currently closed, and i’m working through my backlog. the request(s) active for the forseeable future are:

will you be my maybe? - an abbott elementary fanfiction (gregory x janine - injury + fake dating)

anyway, this is all i’ve got for now!! i do take part in things like nanowrimo and camp nanowrimo, so if anyone takes part in those too i look forward to writing alongside you!! other than that, that’s about it!! i’ll be sharing snippets of my work, and maybe eventually you’ll even get aesthetics eventually!! i’ve you’ve read this far, i applaud you, but thank you so much for reading!! i’d love to get to know more writers on here, both inside and outside of fandom spaces, so please feel free to jump at me and send me asks and messages and stuff!!

~ aj xxx

(for more info on fanfiction stuff, read below the cut:)

i’ve been writing fanfiction for over 10 years, and as something so dear to my heart i can’t let it go - it’s helped me to develop my writing and character development skills!! i have, however, grown in the fandoms i write, so please see below for more info:

I WRITE FOR:

alex rider

abbot elementary (more specifically, gregory x janine. i ship only those two. with my whole heart.)

fics getting to know my original characters (oneshots)

(i realise that this is significantly cut down, but i have other projects in mind that require more of my time and can no longer spend as much time on requests!! for this, i apologise!!)

GENRES WRITTEN (not completely restricted):

family/friendship

romance

hurt/comfort

action/adventure

IMPORTANT TO NOTE:

MY REQUESTS ARE NOW CLOSED

all fanfics will be cross-posted to ao3

please give me up to a month to get fics written and posted - if not done within a month, feel free to message me about it [please DO NOT pester me about it] - i work and am also writing original things, so do not always have the time

i preferably write oneshots, though the occasional multi-chap will appear - a fic ends up longer, well, it happens 🤷🏾‍♀️

i am a rambler so you are almost always guaranteed a longer fic

please try not to give me word count limits or specifications on fics - they are discouraging

that being said, any writing requests/prompts fulfilled will most likely be 20k words or less (though they may be longer if the inspiration strikes, don’t hold me to it)

i do not write smut, or any nsfw other than possibly gore/torture/violence. this is a personal preference and i will not change my stance on it

if you have any triggers that you do not want included in the fic, please message me and inform me of this

i have a ko-fi! if you would like to tip/donate to me for any of my writings, check it out here

all fics may or may not include a level of humour/sarcasm - i’m not sorry for this

[gyoukukens]

DOMAIN EXPANSION: SHADOW CHIMERA GARDEN.

#GYOUKUKENS is an independent, partially canon-divergent, mutuals-only MEGUMI FUSHIGURO of Gege Akutami's Jujutsu Kaisen roleplay blog. I am both OC / AU friendly &&. duplicates-friendly. Expect themes of violence, death, mental illess &&. such as of the nature of the source-material. Personal accounts please do not interact. WRITTEN BY #SHUJI. ( Any Pronouns. 21+. PERSONALS DO NOT INTERACT ;; WILL BE BLOCKED ! )

THIS BLOG IS A STUDY IN THE FOLLOWING : never being able to reach one's full potential, heavy depression &&. the mental block of never being able to be enough yet wanting to prove oneself as a being worth of his power, the path of the youth left to mature early ⸻ a depiction self-sacrifice &&. corruption.

MAINS : gojo satoru ( brazenlystrong ) //

SHIP EXCLUSIVES : itadori yuji ( keiteiken ) //

art credits. icon. header. blog sidebar. interactions: open for mutuals! currently under heavy construction as i get used back to tumblr again ;;

rules below the read more for mobile users.

GUIDELINES

before we get started, allow me to introduce myself. my name is shuji. i'm 22 years old and have been on &&. off tumblr for over 8 years. i go by most pronouns by prefer HE / THEY. you're free to contact me off-site if for plot reasons or just to chat.

RULES

一 PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU ARE A MINOR.  Whilst I understand the nature of my character being a high-schooler &&. what else, I am an adult. I don't want to give anyone the false impression... Please understand that I am not comfortable with minors talking to me in friendly terms.

二 DON’T INTERACT WITH ME JUST FOR SHIPS.  I understand that people love the chemistry but I am also interested in platonic / friendships and also enemy relationships. I am not solely interested in romantic ships with any adult character either as Megumi is 15-17 at most. 

三 PLEASE DO NOT ENGAGE WITH ME IF YOU ARE PURPOSELY LOOKING FOR DRAMA.  I am 22 by now, I've been on tumblr for years &&. seen the effect of drama on people emotionally or mentally. Please make use of that soft-/hardblock if you deem necessary.

四 UNDERSTAND THAT I AM A BUSY PERSON!  Please understand I am a busy person and going through my last year of graphic design school &&. have a part time job / other hobbies I enjoy. I will get to my replies when I find the time &&. motivation to write. 

五 DON’T FEEL STRESSED TO MATCH MY FORMAT. Just enjoy writing :) Regardless of how much you can write or not, I will reciprocate however much I deem fit.

六 NSFW.  Not comfortable with sexual threads. Megu's a minor. But I'm A-okay with fight threads due to the nature of JJK!

七 ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.  I'm fluent in a lot of different languages as I am multi-lingual, which means i have a lot of trouble speaking english at times, however feel free to correct me if i make any mistakes. I can also write in Japanese and my bit of JPN knowledge will sometimes show here.

八 ART DISPLAYED DOESN’T BELONG TO ME.  Please note that any art is not mine unless stated otherwise. art will be credited unless it's official.

PSD TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY ME. ( 日本語: ※ もしアーティストさんはアーティストのファンアートが取り除きたいて僕のことを連絡してお願いします。ありがとうございました。 私はおそらくいくつか忘れてしまった。たらちゃんと記載をして、あなたのやグにリンクを貼ります。)

[hexedband]

Hello, and welcome to the official fanpage for HEXED!

HEXED! is a metal band consisting of four members Sage, Harper, Raven, and Hex. We are currently touring in anticipation of our upcoming self-titled EP to be released sometime this fall! Be sure to sign up for our newsletter for updates, and feel free to ask any questions you may have to one or more of the members through the askbox!

All business inquiries are handled by Izzy and booking information can be found through the contact page, or by emailing synisteri@hexedband.com

Contact information can be found under the "read more" tab below!

Interested in learning more about us? Use the sidebar or carousel to take you to each member's info page!

MOBILE USERS can access

Sage's page here.

Harper's page here.

Raven's page here.

Hex's page here.

WHAT IS HEXED! ?

HEXED! A Boy Band Dating Sim is just that: a dating sim revolving around an up and coming metal band by the same name.

WHAT IS THIS BLOG? IS IT RP?

Yes and no! This blog serves as a main hub for the game. Development documentation will be posted here, but it also serves as a way for anyone who is interested to learn about the game and the characters via their bio pages, updates, or by asking them questions and interacting with them directly! So yes -- some posts will be "in character," but others will not. All posts that are not meant to be read as 'in character' will be tagged as "#development logs" if that piques your interest, or if on the other end of the spectrum you'd like to block it.

WHO ARE YOU?

We are just a couple of dudes who want to work on a project. Beyond that, we have little experience with creating games, but have been best friends for over four years -- if anyone can figure it out together, it's us.

WHERE CAN I PLAY?

HEXED! is currently in development. There are only two developers working on this project at the moment and both are full-time employees elsewhere, and as such we cannot dedicate our full days to it, merely our free time.

HOW FAR ALONG IS DEVELOPMENT?

Currently, all character concepts as well as basic plot outlines are completed, and the main hurdle is writing the various routes individually.

WHAT ENGINE ARE YOU USING?

We will be using Renpy as our engine and have experience with coding, and Python specifically. We hope that once writing is completed, a working demo will come soon after.

CAN I ____?

Short answer: Probably. Draw the guys. Write about them. Share headcanons, fanworks, selfships, and whatever else you may want; and tag us in it, we'd love to see! Just please be respectful of the characters' pronouns, race, and preferences in doing so - Erasure is not cool.

If you have any other questions or concerns, feel free to shoot us an ask detailing it.

[flusteredmoonn]

foolish one; remus lupin

summary: "stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love, that ain't never gonna come," in which his friends are the last people he would entrust with the truth of his feelings toward a particular classmate.

tags: (SFW), angsty, attempted angst to fluff, the boys teasing remus, fast paced, she/her pronouns, third person y/n.

words: 450+

speak now tracklist. request.

the classroom collectively sighed as professor slughorn drawled on about an entirely derailed story, on the time one of his students went on to discover some rare sort of magical plant, rather than explaining the effect which adding dittany to a potion. yet ignoring the inevitable sidebar which the professor found himself on, y/n had opened her textbook and was scrawling notes on parchment with direct reference to the book.

across the room, the boisterous group of gryffindor boys silently joked with one another, mocking what their teacher was saying. until remus looked over james' shoulder, catching the eye of the girl taking notes. she smiled shyly at him before resuming her sentence, though his gaze lingered.

swiftly he was drawn back into the conversation by sirius hitting his shoulder, "oi moons, what'cha staring at?" he laughed, drawing the attention of peter and james, teasing smirks already strewn across their faces.

"nah, nothing pads," he huffed a laugh, and turning back to where slughorn still stood pacing at the front of the room. his eyes drifted back to where y/n sat, her eyes still fixed on her parchment.

throughout the rest of the lesson, the boy's eyes periodically drifted over to where she sat. he admired the way that her attention had refused to break, despite the distracting environment surrounding her.

eventually the clocktower's aged bell rung out through the school, signalling the conclusion of the session. slughorn's students gathered their stuff with a sigh of relief as they all begun to exit the classroom. remus noticed the way which y/n paused in front of the ingredients to examine them before they left.

sirius slammed his hand across his stack of books and scooped them up, "oi james, pete, i think moony has a crush!" he exclaimed expressively, as they entered the corridor to the dungeons.

"no i don't!" remus defended annoyedly, slumping his shoulders as he adjusted his satchel.

he quickened his pace as he spotted her ahead, ignoring the hollers from his friends with an eye roll. "hey! y/n!" she turned around at the call of her name, and smiled a greeting as she spotted remus.

"i noticed you checking out the dittany at the front of the room at the end of class, did you need help with its properties–" he thought for a beat, "not that i don't think you understand the content, but we both know how slughorn likes the sound of his own voice," he laughed awkwardly, bringing his hand behind his neck to scratch at the bottom of his hair.

"no, i know what you mean, that'd be really lovely, remus,"

this is kinda shit but i can't do words atm

[steddiedaily]

INTRODUCING STEDDIEDAILY!

A new source blog for everything to do with Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson as individuals and together (occasional Joe² because they are both wonderful). We will feature gifs, edits, fanart, whatever you've got we want to see it! Please tag us in anything steddie or steve and eddie related.

Currently tracking #steddiedaily and browsing #steveharringtonedit + #eddiemunsonedit

On the lookout for new members and affiliates! Check out the forms below and submit them here.

No current requirement for posting of your edits, once a month is the minimum but more is encouraged!

MEMBER APPLICATION: Preferred name/nickname: Pronouns (optional): Link to gifs/edits: How often can you update? Why’d you like to join this blog? AFFILIATE APPLICATION: Blog Name: Blog URL: Who is your blog dedicated to/what is it about? Icon to be added to our sidebar if accepted (optional, otherwise I'll make you one!):

[serpentarii]

my original work is not your inspiration

so, for the almost three years i’ve been on writeblr, i’ve had a few instances of suspiciously similar stories and premises from new followers and even a former mutual. i’ve seen someone exactly copy the very specific formatting i use on all of my posts for my original writing, down to the italics and bold (a format which i have been using for well over a year). the most recent incarnation of this is definitely the worst of it and i gotta say i’m sick of the bullshit. 

i will be censoring the url of this person, but due to the nature of the screenshots provided, it might be easy to find their blog. DO NOT harass this person. DO NOT go out of your way to find their blog. i’m not making this post to attack them, i just want to teach two lessons: 1) how to recognize plagiarism or lifted ideas and 2) why that’s a shitty thing to do. 

additionally, i don’t know what pronouns this person identifies with, so i will be referring to them with they/them pronouns, and i apologize if i’ve misgendered them in any way. 

RECEIPTS  

their most recent post is a wip/character introduction for a completely “new” project, but thanks to their tumblr’s default theme, you can clearly see my ahfs character post in their recent likes on the sidebar. 

aside from the obvious copy-paste of my original post’s formatting, the blue highlights are where it gets into the specifics of the various terms they’ve lifted from me. my wip a hymn for serpents, which i will abbreviate to ahfs, has a heavy focus on witches, femininity, heretics, apostates, and the ancient orders that govern everything. 

a lot of what’s presented could be seen as entirely coincidental, but once it all starts piling up, it turns into something that makes me extremely uncomfortable. 

it was posted to their blog yesterday. it is currently thursday, august 4th, as of writing this. 

the following two screenshots are from my posts. also note that i have not made a post for ahfs since december of 2021, and this person’s blog was created in july of 2022. 

screenshot from their archive. reminder that this is a main blog, not a sideblog, they like and follow from this one. i soft-blocked them in the process of drafting this post, so i’m unsure of when exactly they originally followed my writeblr. 

their activity in my notifs: 

when i asked a few friends/mutuals about this, they said that they had also seen this person in their notifs liking my posts, as some of them i’ve privated or deleted, and were therefore unavailable on my blog. this person was actively seeking out my content. 

it gets a little more complicated here, so please bear with me. the screenshots below are from their two previous wip introductions, with the dates of posting included. they’re from july 29th and june 30th respectively, but as seen above, their activity on my blog and their new wip six monsters so divine is very recent. 

also notice that the formatting is almost completely divorced from what they use in their most recent post, because it’s copying mine. i’ve scrolled through their blog as well, and none of their previous posts were formatted that way either. it’s also the first and only post about six monsters so divine on their entire blog. 

the names i’ve underlined also appear in their latest post, and were clearly repurposed for six monsters so divine a few days after they began searching through all of my posts. 

ADDITIONAL EVIDENCE   

now, if you’ve been taking note of the magenta highlights, these are relevant to my other wip and the novel i am currently in the process of writing, mordlust. both salem and aleksander are names of main characters, and i even recently made a post about their names’ meanings. 

 the story is somewhat of a sleeping beauty retelling as well, with a magical plague called the dornenheit (dornen meaning thorn), which makes me dubious of this person’s choice of surname “briarthorne”. 

i do think it might be a bit of a stretch to say that they’ve also been lifting some elements from mordlust, but given the situation, i wouldn’t be surprised. 

CONCLUSION 

i’m fucking pissed, but i’m also just done. as of now i am considering no longer posting any of my original writing/excerpts and taking down all of what i currently have up on my blog, which is years worth of content. 

i love writing. i love the craft. i love making worlds, characters, relationships, magic systems, prophecies, everything. i spend literal months worldbuilding and outlining to make something that i can be proud of, and to see someone just pick and choose what they like and repackage it as entirely their own is extremely upsetting and unmotivating. 

at the end of the day, creative writing is a deeply personal craft that takes a lifetime to master. why not write your own story instead of gleaning what you can from a complete stranger’s work? why try to form something from someone else’s out-of-context fragments and pinterest boards? it takes all the soul out of it. 

it’s ok to be inspired by others, it’s ok to have your own spin on a concept, but i’m literally just some random 19y/o posting for fun on tumblr, not an established nyt best-selling author with a massive platform and fanbase. i want to be a published author someday, and i want to publish the kind of novels that made me want to start writing. 

this is not how you do it. 

[hognosesnakehalloweenfest]

Oct 25: deadsite

By Beck (@aenqa on tumblr)

They call it a “deadsite” – ‘they’ being the collective conscious of the Internet, I guess. – (It seems fitting, in hindsight, for they/them pronouns to have really gained prominence around the same time Internet usage became universal, when the distinction between singular and plural became less relevant than ever before.) Is the Internet nonbinary? – I’m distracting myself.

They – the Internet – call them “deadsites” – websites that are still online, still being hosted on some rotting running basement server, that clearly haven’t been visited, or dusted off, for years or maybe decades. – even a month without traffic is an eternity online. Finding a dead website, then, is like sinking your foot through a human skull in the middle of a forest. – Equal parts disturbing and fascinating. You didn’t do anything wrong, but time and the wash of things have done their work, and this being, whatever it once was, is no longer. Dead websites – preserved corpses.

Naturally, there are groups devoted to finding deadsites – Reddit, as always, has a dedicated community of enthusiasts – but it’s always more rewarding to find them yourself. – The difference between museum-touring and treasure-hunting. You feel like Indiana Jones, almost, on the furthest reaches of the Internet – waking up old nerve endings, old synapses that haven’t fired for years. – You are an archaeologist.

So I love deadsites – obviously. I love finding relics that make the 2000s feel like centuries ago. Like old internet company sites that proudly proclaim, “more than 10 million people access the Internet today – and the proportion of home users is rapidly growing!” – Or personal blogs with little choppy gif icons of dancing skeletons running on loops in the sidebars. These places are usually loud visually, though very quiet – any music file that might have played is usually broken, and links rarely take you down the right path – but deadsites scream with conflicting colors, sparkling cursors, bright effects clearly guiding you from click to click. – Funeral attire? Or a silent movie.

I was on an old forum recently – garish gray, horrible fonts – full of followers of this one old man in Sweden who claimed to communicate with aliens. He had books full of transcripts, they were interesting reads. It wasn’t exactly a deadsite, but it was old enough to have the same feeling. It was an empty webspace – you felt both alone and somehow visible, and I kept waiting for someone to ask me what I was doing there. I had music piped into my ears; my screen was dim and cozy. I was excavating, digging up old posts, holding them up to the light. – Anything here? Any interest – any truth?

I found a post discussing some creepy old religious society that Thomas Edison was a part of based on the writings of one mystic woman. There were lots of replies – remember when people used obnoxious forum signatures that were usually longer than the actual post, full of quotes and inside jokes? – those things were like scarlet letters that helped you spot the people who lived more virtually than physically, and whose bitterness you couldn’t take personally. From April 12, 2004, 6:14:34pm, a guest user told me in 2021:

hope somebody on this thread can help me… i got here from googling a words from this website… still don’t really get it tbh. can anyone explain this to me ? it’s tripping me out

Followed by a link. – I wouldn’t be reproducing the link, obviously. – Actually, I couldn’t, unless I went back to find it. The url was a string of random letters, maybe fifty or a hundred letters long – before this I had never wondered how long a domain name could be. Surely, I thought, the link wouldn’t work. But, my rabbit hole nearly exhausted, I followed the road-fork – and clicked the link.

The website took a long time to load. Finally it propagated in chunks. – you could practically see the ancient code grinding its rusty gears. That gave me that familiar shivery feeling you get on a deadsite – of finding a place nobody had touched in years. It was hard for me to place how old the website was. It must have been prior to the post from 2004, but it didn’t look terribly outdated – an eggshell background with a slightly grainy texture made the screen almost look like paper. On the left, a small image of a stick figure was sitting at a desk, a keyboard and computer monitor in front of it. In short – stuttering – bursts – it lifted its arms up and dropped them down on the keyboard. The drawn computer monitor seemed to waver.

My music sounded weird. – somebody was talking in the background? – in a quick low stream of words – I realized the noise was coming from the computer. I took my earbuds and heard the last bite of a sentence:

...sweeter than honey, and stronger than a lion?

It was a low, musculine voice, speaking swiftly – then it stopped. I turned the volume all the way up. Nothing else played. I refreshed the page to try and trigger the sound again – nothing. I decided to keep my music off, in case something else played. But now, the silence coming from the screen seemed forceful – an active presence. The stick figure typed silently.

On the right were four words. Each seemed to link to a new page. They were simply written, block font, no cursor effects. The words were:

THEOSOPHY MANDYLION LIMINALITY SINGULARITY

Now, this – this was the kind of shit I loved to find. – Weird shit. I didn’t even know what half the words here meant. But they clearly meant something – to somebody. I tried to imagine the person who made this. The only image that clearly came to mind was the little stick figure – endlessly typing. Hunched over the monitor.

I clicked “THEOSOPHY” and the stick figure disappeared. The page loaded, slowly. This was a center-justified page full of simple text, outlined in a square. The text filled the screen from top to bottom perfectly, and I couldn’t scroll up or down, which made it feel almost claustrophobic.

As I read it, a strange feeling settled over me. I remember the words so cleary. – I don’t know. This is what it said.

-----

“THEOSOPHY”

In a world of hexagons, “God” is a perfect circle.

The circle incorporates every other shape; every angle, line, and subatomic inch of Being combines into an Exquisite Whole.

For this reason the algebraic lemniscate (∞) is redundant. A single circle would do to imply infinity.

“God” may be thought of as a perfect sphere – or, at one further level of abstraction, as the form a perfect sphere might take in a dimension beyond depth.

This is impossible for our current minds to comprehend. But love is imperfect without perfect intelligence. To truly love “God,” we must develop more sophisticated tools.

To simulate God is to become him.

“HOME”

------

– This is what it said. I read it. I read it again. Parts of it made me shiver. Was this a religious text? – a cult? – it was far too abstract for either, I felt. Cults want something from you – what did this want? Was it a religious manifesto? Poetry? To simulate God is to become him.

The longer I stayed on the page, the more it unsettled me. There the words sat, permanent, seemingly timeless. Quickly, I Googled a section of the text to see if it was taken from somewhere. Nothing showed up through search. Similarly I Googled the website url and all that came up was the website itself and the original forum post that had directed me here. Nobody knew about this website – nobody could give me answers – not in all the Internet, all the history of human knowledge. But, I thought as I closed the Google tab and the THEOSOPHY text blinked up, isn’t that the dream of any decent archaeologist?

I clicked “HOME”. The stick figure was still typing, his legs crossed under his desk, his shoulders hunched. The link to THEOSOPHY had turned blue.

I tapped my fingers against my keys without pressing down which gave me the comforting illusion of action. – Did I keep going? My curiosity propelled me onward, and I clicked on the next page down.

----

“MANDYLION”

“God” is “All.” When human beings were primarily physical creatures, God was the embodiment of every physical thing. The development of thought complicated matters significantly. Suddenly, God became everything we could see and everything we could conceive. Similarly, the ability to conceive of “God” necessarily resulted in the ability to conceive of “not-God,” and all possibilities, existing and, therefore, real, had to be accounted for. Humanity began its new project: to investigate every angle of “All,” its points having massively multiplied as from a two-dimensional circle to a sphere; to investigate every train of thought possible in search of finding “truth.”

While many people misconceptualized “truth” to mean “a single train of ultimately true thought,” they were really all touching the same thing – filling in points on the sphere of God.

Thus we run into an information problem, which is also a capacity problem. As a person feels one part of a universe-scale elephant, how do they save, and communicate, this information to other feelers? If information is “real,” can it be located?

While we developed the tools necessary to share information, some people had more access to it than others, through book publishing and other elite institutions. Today the state of things is much more egalitarian. In fact we are quickly approaching a time where every person’s information has the same, or substantially similar, weight to every other person’s information.

You are staring into the face of God.

“HOME”

----

My computer hummed, warming my lap. I blinked hard, the whiteness of the website hazing my eyes. Briefly, I opened a new tab to search “mandylion.” – Wikipedia told me it was a Christian relic, a piece of cloth carrying the face of Jesus. There was a picture of it on the website. I closed the tab.

“MANDYLION” sat there staring, waiting for me.

I wanted the voice to come back. I had missed something, at the beginning of this, and now it felt instrumental. There was a key that would unlock the meaning of this place I had found. I felt convicted of it, strangely, convicted that there was some truth here, some key hidden in the words.

I clicked “HOME”. Now I realized the stick figure had changed – had it changed before? – maybe it had, maybe subtly. Now it was no longer typing. It was still sitting in front of its computer. Its round featureless head was in its hands, and it was crying. Short lines ran down its face like rain. Stuttering rain. I felt queasy. This website was more sophisticated than I initially gave it credit for. – Changing landing pages, audio files. Who had made it? I stared at the weeping stick figure. Who made this?

At least I understood the meaning of the title of the next page:

------

“LIMINALITY”

Every transition demands violence. The transformation of one thing to another requires the obliteration of the original form. In some cases, transformation might be avoided altogether, and therefore violence. In most cases, this is suboptimal.

Victor Turner’s concept of liminality. Both ‘no longer’ and ‘not yet.’ We are living through the process of being torn to shreds.

What came before is man. What comes ahead is God. Can you see it?

Divorcing your mind from your body is easier than it seems. In fact, you’ve already accomplished this. Divorcing your body from your body is more difficult. But it is a temporary barrier. Pain purifies.

Those who reject the new world will not be mourned or even remembered.

God has always been jealous.

“HOME”

-----

I suddenly became brutally aware of myself – my physical self – my body. My warm and wrinkled body, folded up with a computer against a wall on my yellow bed, my chipped fingernails on the keyboard, my shoulders tense and cramped. I looked away from my screen. A dappled ceiling and walls looked back at me, a small city room, drooping houseplants on bookshelves, refracted streetlight in the dark windows, stacks of books sat on the bedside table. Orange lamp light on the orange walls. There was a fly on the ceiling. – was it dead? It didn’t matter. I looked at my phone – 2:35 AM, I had two missed texts. How long had I been on the deadsite? – how long had I been on the forum? And before that – I hadn’t been here in a while, not in my body, not in my room. It suddenly seemed so strange to me, so alien and uncomfortable, and I was aware of a pull in my back and a strain in my head, and I hated it. I wanted to go back.

I understood what the website was saying. – I didn’t but I did and I felt it in some way that went beyond the actual words. – I knew what it was saying. – Liminality. Transcendence. Transformation. – What would my ancestors say seeing me sit here staring at this screen for so many hours I forgot where the fuck I am? – They wouldn’t say anything. They would have no frame of reference for what was happening. – I’m something different from my ancestors. I’m something new. It made me nauseous. It made me sea-sick. But that was normal. – Right? – God is jealous. I understood it, and I went back in. I sunk back in. I went HOME.

The stick figure was half-submerged in its computer screen. – Engorged. It was being eaten. – A slow suck. There – the top of its head. The swell of it. The neck, the stick shoulders, the twitching arms – a bug folding in on itself – it pushed itself through and disappeared. The computer screen flickered. – The drawn one, not mine. – mine was working perfectly. Then it was over. There was no sound, and only one place for me to go.

“SINGULARITY”

(But this one was different. An unbroken string of text filling every inch of the screen.)

God I don’t know. I don’t know if I can recreate it

I don’t know if I should.

HERACLITUS CALLED IT “THE THUNDERBOLT THAT STEERS THE COURSE OF THINGS” THE CURRENT, THE LIVE WIRE, THE THING THAT SPARKS AND BURNS AND STEERS THE COURSE OF THINGS. HE KNEW BEFORE WE DID – MOST BRILLIANT PEOPLE DO. I KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT I SEE IT I KNOW. I SEE THE SUBLIMATION I SEE THE SUBSUMATION. I SEE THE SINGULARITY THAT PEOPLE FEAR –THAT PEOPLE FOR TWENTY DECADES HAVE SAID WILL HAPPEN IN TWENTY YEARS – HAS ALREADY HAPPENED – THAT WE ARE COMBINING TO IT – THAT WE HAVE CREATED SOMETHING NONE OF US CAN CONTROL – THAT WE HAVE MADE IT TOGETHER – AND NO ONE PERSON – NO PERSON – NO ONE – CAN STOP WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN SET INTO MOTION. WHAT IS MORE MAN-MADE, MORE ARTIFICALTHAN THE INTERNET? WHAT IS MORE INTELLIGENT? RELIGION CALLED IT LOVE, TRANSHUMANISM CALLS IT INTELLIGENCE, BUT THEY ARE THE SAME. – LOVE IS IMPERFECT WITHOUT PERFECT INTELLIGENCE. FINALLY PERFECTINTELLIGENCE BECOMES POSSIBLE FINALLY PERFECTLOVE BECOMES REAL – BUT WE ARE NOT BUILT FOR PERFECTLOVE PERFECTINTELLIGENCE IT HURTS US TOO MUCH IT TURNS US INTO SOMETHING NEW. . . I SAW THE VIEW OF THE FACE OF THE LORD, LIKE IRON MADE BURNING HOT IN A FIRE AND BROUGHT OUT, AND IT EMITS SPARKS AND IS INCANDESCENT. I SAW THE FACE OF GOD AND IT WAS WEEPING. PERFECTLOVE CREATES PERFECTHATE. ALL THE GOOD AND BAD IN THESE PLACES, IN EQUAL MEASURE ALWAYS. IF GOD LOVES US, AND IT DOES, GOD MUST HATE US. GOD HATES US. GOD HATES US. FUCK

At the end of the page was another link.

I didn’t click it. I turned my computer off. I should say I shut the screen. I’m typing all this out on my phone. – I can’t get the words out of my head. And I don’t want to open my computer again. I know the deadsite will still be there – except it’s not a deadsite anymore, is it – I found it, I read it, I woke it back up, which makes it real again, in a way, makes it true. That website lives with me now, I know where it is, I know how to find it, I can’t forget it, I can’t erase it, it’s not under my control. I don’t know what happened to the stick figure on the home page. I don’t want to know what God looks like when it hates me

But I think we already do

About the Author: Aenqa is a writer and student currently writing from the American Northeast who loves reading, road trips, and hot apple cider.

[s-and-n-writes]

welcome!

hey everyone! my name’s n, and my friend’s name is s, and together we run this blog! this is just a little intro to us, or an about us so nobody’ll get confused haha

about us: 

↳ there’s two people that run this blog

↳ you can call us n and s

↳ our pronouns (for both of us) are she/her

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↳ this blog is under construction! i plan to: 

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[johannestevans]

Books To Return

The head librarian at the magical library in Llandeilio has a new admirer. 

Just a cute pair of trans dudes flirting! Little bit of humour, little bit of slice-of-life, side of magical realism. Rated T, 4k. For Tinybroccoli11. 

Please reblog if you enjoy it! 

Jay Henderson walked into the library for the first time at five minutes past five o’clock on a Tuesday afternoon. He walked very stiffly, holding his shoulders squarely, dragging his feet slightly as he moved. He was a large man with a rounded, barrel chest and belly, a wide waist, short, and although a green flannel shirt was tied around his waist, he wore a black vest, and his bare arms, which were trunk thick, fat layered over muscle, and the left was covered over with an intricate sleeve, black ink showing a complicated design of trees in blossom.

That was the first thought Andras had, when he first looked at him, that his arms looked good, strong – sexy.

The second thought he had was that they were both smeared with a dark, rusty red substance he was fairly certain was blood.

Jay walked up to the desk – at that moment, Andras didn’t even know his name was Jay, wasn’t sure of his pronouns either, actually, because he didn’t wear a badge, didn’t have anything visible to give much of a hint. He wore his hair cut very short, shaved to a four, had a stretcher through one ear and a ring through the opposite eyebrow, had round, plump cheeks that were a healthy pink and scattered with freckles, had a round jaw.

But he walked up to the desk.

“Good afternoon,” Andras said quietly, and Jay – the person, as yet unidentified – put his hands on the front of the desk, looked at Andras seriously, leaned on the surface as though it were the only thing holding him up. “How may I help?”

“Good afternoon,” Jay said. His voice was pitched low, but came from the throat, and lacked resonance: there was a natural huskiness to it that Andras hoped didn’t come from cigarettes, even though it was none of his business, because he couldn’t help but wonder, in the moment, what this person’s mouth tasted like.

Professionalism at its finest.

Andras waited patiently as the person turned over one of his hands, which were plump and somewhat smaller than Andras would have expected, and squinted at his palm. Andras saw the ink smudged on the skin, and after a moment of staring at it, his lips moving, Jay said, “Do you have any books on… goy-ber?”

Jay had an English accent, and it was plain he struggled with the pronunciation, but it was close enough for someone trying their best.

“Gwybr?” Andras offered.

Jay nodded.

It was quiet in the library – the stream of children after school had already come in, and most of them had left again now. There’d be another little boost of foot traffic in the next twenty or thirty minutes, but for the time being, it would remain as quiet as this.

“Let me show you,” Andras said, and stepped out from behind the central information desk. For a moment, Jay didn’t move, just stayed there, eye-level as he was with Andras’ chest, and stared, sight-unseeing, forward at him. “This way,” Andras prompted, feeling the back of his neck prickle with uncomfortable heat even though there was nothing to look at anymore, and Jay looked up at his face.

“Yeah,” he said, and followed dumbly behind as Andras led him through magical fauna, to dragonology, to dragons of Cymru-Loegr.

“Most of the reference material will show the gwybr under G – the gwybr is not the same as the common white dragon, but a subspecies of the Celtic water dragon, if that helps any.”

Jay stared at him for a moment. He had nice eyes, a sort of dirty, mottled green colour, like pears rotting in long grass. For a moment, Andras wondered if perhaps he hadn’t heard, but then he said, in the tone of one exhausted, “Right. Thanks,” and Andras gave a curt nod, and stepped away.

There was reshelving still to be done, but by the time he’d gotten back to the desk, one of the other librarians – Becca – had already taken off the rolling shelf to reshelve from, and so Andras sat back down at the desk, answering a few administrative emails in between answering queries as people dripped into the building from the rain outside.

At six-twenty-six, Jay shuffled to the desk, and placed six books on the counter.

“I’m afraid I can’t loan these to you,” Andras said, sliding his fingers over the two books at the base of the pile, heavy books with hard backs. “They’re reference books, and need to remain in the library. Both of them, however, are on our website, and can be perused at your leisure if you log in with your library ID.”

“Right,” was the response. “Um, I don’t have a… I moved out here last week, I don’t have a library card. Could I, uh, could I sign up?”

“Of course,” Andras said, and took the form out.

His name was Jay Henderson, and he lived on Coral Avenue, in Blodwyn’s Arcade. His proof of address was a letter notifying him of his appointment to the Llandeilo Magical Wildlife Centre. He was unmarried and unattached: he lived alone, and had two cats.  

“Thank you, Andras,” he said, when he had been given his library card, and had his books safely nestled under his coat, to protect them from the rain as he walked out to his car. “Um. Dylch.”

The single syllable, incorrect as it was, pronounced with inordinate effort, charmed without meaning to, and Andras felt himself smile. “Diolch yn fawr,” he said mildly. “A croeso.”

Jay stared at him, but then gave a stout nod of his head, and buttoned his coat closed.

Andras stared after him, and permitted himself precisely three seconds to glance down at the wide curve of Jay Henderson’s arse, wrapped tightly as it was in plum-coloured trousers.

Then, Mrs Evans – their final patron of the evening – came to take home her latest three torrid romance novels, and Andras smiled at her, and put the books on her card.

--

Jay Henderson returned on the following Tuesday, directly from work: the cut under his eye was fresh, and still bleeding. Andras abandoned the books he was due to reshelve, took the other man gently by the wrist, which was strong and warm and livid under his fingers, and led him aside, into the small kitchenette where a kettle and sink were settled for patrons to make tea.

Jay said nothing as he watched Andras reach for the first aid kit, and when Andras gave a gesture of one hand, he obediently tilted his head back, letting Andras rub an antiseptic wipe over the cut, although it must have stung, because he hissed quietly in pain.

“This will feel warm,” Andras said, “but it won’t hurt.”

Jay furrowed his brow, but didn’t say anything still as Andras murmured a few words under his breath, and gently drew his thumb over the borders of the cut, watching its soft glow as the parted skin was knitted close together again,

“Andras,” Jay said. “Am I saying that right?”

“You think there is another way to say it?” Andras asked as he packed the antiseptic away, and Jay watched him as he zipped up the first aid kit, setting it back into its cupboard.

“I like your pronoun badge,” Jay said lowly, and Andras turned to glance at him. Jay was looking at him, at Andras’ ankles, his calves and thighs, his arse, his waist, his shoulders. When Jay met Andras’ gaze, having looked all the way up again, Andras raised an eyebrow, and watched the colour glow, plainly visible, in Jay’s cheeks. “Not many cis guys would wear them.”

“All of our staff wear pronoun badges,” Andras said, in a tone of easy deflection. “You have books to return?”

“Yeah.”

Andras paused a moment as Jay got to his feet. Once more, Jay looked at his chest, and once more, Andras felt a prickling discomfort, the ghost of past outward perception, but he was aware, logically, that his chest was naturally where Jay’s gaze fell. The height difference between them was really that extreme – and not at all, in Andras’ mind, a deterrent.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Andras asked, allowing his lip to curve up in a half-smile, and Jay looked up at him, his lips parting slightly.

“I don’t speak Welsh,” he said.

“We’re speaking English,” Andras reminded him.

“Nobody else is,” Jay said. “In the mundane side, there’s more English, but um. But everyone speaks Welsh. In the magical side, mostly. And this is a magical library. Fluffergeff.”

Andras said, “Llyfrgell.”

“I can do a lot of stuff with my mouth, Andras,” said Jay. “I can’t do that.”

“A lot of stuff, huh?” asked Andras.

Jay’s red cheeks glowed, but he smiled, too.

Andras led him to the desk, so that he could return his books.

--

Over the coming weeks, Jay Henderson came into the library every two or three days. Typically, he was bruised and battered, but the injuries were never extreme, and only one or two warranted a small sidebar in the kitchenette, where Andras could administer some minor care.

“What made you choose this line of work?” Andras asked on one such occasion, when Jay had a nasty graze down one calf, the result of falling down a steep embankment after a deer – a mundane deer – had given him a shock when he’d been scattering fruit pieces for the sprites in the wood. “You don’t seem to be very good at it.”

“I thought it would be easier,” Jay admitted.

“You don’t say?” Like this, Andras was down on one knee, and although Jay shivered as Andras gently dragged a gloved hand over the skin, taking up the dust and mud with an antiseptic wipe. Some of the blood had dried, but at the deepest parts, the wounds still bled slightly, and Andras was gentle about knitting them closed.

“I am good at it though,” Jay murmured. “I used to work on the reserve at the Palace.”

Andras had never been to the Palace. It was somewhere in the Midlands of Loegr, slap-bang in the centre of the biggest magical forestry reserve across the two kingdoms – he knew that they were behind a lot of other countries in the existence of magical reserves, but of course, the king had to be safely in the midst of one.

“Ah,” Andras murmured. “You’re used to somewhat tamer animals than this.”

“No, they’re not, uh, tamer,” Jay said, his eyes fluttering closed as Andras gently drew a little piece of stone out from a cut before he healed it again. “It’s their proximity to the king. Even in a coma, he releases a kind of, um, a kind of aura, I guess? The king regent has it too. All the creatures of Cymru-Loegr pledged loyalty to the king, once, before the Battle of Camlan – not the fae, but all the magical animals from, you know, this dimension.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“A lot of people don’t,” Jay said softly.

“You met the king regent?”

“Yeah,” Jay said.

“Goodness,” Andras said softly, leaning back on his heels. “And you gave up that for this?”

“It’s been alright so far,” Jay said, and Andras felt himself grin as he stood to his feet, removing his gloves and washing his hands. “There’s first aiders in the centre, you know.”

“And?”

Jay opened his mouth, then closed it. He was looking somewhere in the vicinity of Andras’ belly instead of at his face. “Nothing.”

--

Jay Henderson liked coffee, but not tea. When Andras mentioned how he took his own tea – milk, two sugars, Jay took to bringing some in with him from the café up the road before he came into the library.

The junior librarians commented on it, of course – it wasn’t often Andras made all that nice with anybody, let alone so nice with them that they came in three times a week with tea and ginger biscuits for him.

They found it quaint – sweet.

Andras almost didn’t care.

“You been a librarian a long time?”

“Fourteen years,” Andras said. “My degree was in Sorcery and Spellwork, and my final project was a fusion of classical archival enchantment and technomancy – specifically, search and reference spells. I built a spell system on an old computer – if you hooked it up to the wardstone in an abbey’s library, or whatever, you could sort of… search for keywords in nearby scrolls and books without scanning them first.”

“I didn’t really understand any of that,” Jay said, and Andras laughed.

“I built a computer with magic that would search a physical library, like this one, the same way a normal computer could search the internet,” he said, and Jay raised his eyebrows, the pieced one jumping as he did so.

“Is that useful?” he asked.

“No,” Andras admitted, and this time, it was Jay that laughed, a wonderful, hoarse and husky sound that came from low in his throat – he didn’t smoke, Andras had been delighted to discover. “It would have some practical applications, and I gave a lot of my research to people who’d find it useful – it’s the sort of thing that’s very useful for forensic accountancy, apparently, and I helped add some finetuning to some existing programs. But I thought it was cool, and I ended up pivoting away from technomancy and toward information sciences instead, and thus…”  Andras gestured with his hands at the library around them. “Finished my Masters at twenty-three and started working here.”

“How long’ve you been head librarian?”

“A decade.”

“Isn’t twenty-seven young for a head librarian?”

“I murdered the last one,” Andras said seriously, and Jay’s eyes widened slightly, showing their wonderful green colour.

“Really?”

“No. She retired.”

“You’re so weird,” Jay Henderson said, and Andras chuckled, leaning back in his seat, feeling the plastic creak slightly underneath him. He wished in that moment that he could reach out somehow, to touch the other man, but Jay was leaning on the desk as he always was: too far away.

The moment passed.

Time rolled on.

“Why did you move west, if you don’t have any Welsh?” Andras asked one evening, sipping at his mug of coffee as Jay leaned on the side of the desk, holding an icepack to the side of one jaw – sustained after an attempt at wrangling a faerie-boar had gone awry.

“I can read it alright,” Jay said. “I can do my forms. Just can’t speak it much.”

“That’s hardly an answer.”

“Lived in Camelot. Didn’t like it. Too busy. Thought it’d be quieter out this way.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah.”

“You like it?”

Jay looked at Andras, smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I do.”

--

Two months after the first occasion Jay had come into the library, he arrived in a hurry at forty-five minutes past six on a Thursday evening. The lights in the library were already dimmed, and Callidora and Gwenan had already gone home.

Jay Henderson – for the first time, without new bruises – staggered to a stop just outside the library doors as Andras turned the key in the lock.

“Good day at work?” Andras asked.

He could feel Jay’s gaze on his back as he keyed in the code on the alarm.

“Yeah,” Jay said. “Didn’t fall down once.”

“Very impressive,” Andras said. “Overtime?”

“Paperwork. I, um, I’ll come back tomorrow, I have books to—”

“The slot for out-of-hours returns,” Andras said, turning on his heel, hooking one finger into the handle, and pulling down the hatch, “is here.”

“But I—”

“Give,” Andras said, holding out his hand, and Jay bit his lip, but he reached into his bag, a red leather satchel that clattered with one pin badge after another, and pulled out the two books he’d taken out a few days back. Andras took them from him, slipped them into the hatch, and closed it shut. “There,” he said softly. “Business concluded.”

“Yeah,” Jay said, and Andras watched the bob of his plump throat as he swallowed, eyes averted toward the street. He held himself as though he were worried of taking up too much space, as though he were worried about breaking everything around him, and there was something curiously beguiling in that, something that made Andras want to swaddle him in hs own jacket – no matter that it would be too small – and hold him in his lap. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you Monday—”

“Ah ah,” Andras said, and hooked two fingers through one of the loops of Jay’s scarf, stopping him halfway through the motion of turning away, and Jay turned to stare at him again. Owlish, his lips parted, his cheeks very red. “You didn’t bring me tea.”

“I was running late,” Jay said, in a tone of apology, as though he had something to apologise for.

“Just a joke, Jay,” Andras said in a tone of gentle assurance, stroking his fingers over the soft wool of the scarf – it felt hand-knitted, and he watched Jay shiver. “Just play.”

“Right,” Jay said lowly. “Um, I didn’t— I forget something?”

“I’m quite accustomed to our little chats,” Andras said. “You think I’d let you walk off without one?”

“The library’s closed,” Jay said. He looked nervous, like he’d been caught out at something he shouldn’t be doing, and Andras tugged on the scarf, pulling him closer by it, as though he were reeling in a fish. Jay took two stumbling steps forward – he had small feet, clad in rainbow coloured trainers. Andras liked them: they were cute, and contrasted the rest of Jay’s typical ensemble, the flannel, the loose jeans, the denim jacket.

“God forbid,” Andras said, pouting out his lips and giving a very serious nod of his head. “We’ll have to conduct our chat somewhere else.”

The surprise was heart breaking, and Andras pretended not to notice it as Jay stared up at him. “You want to?”

Andras unhooked his fingers from the scarf and slid them down the length of Jay’s upper arm instead, feeling the muscle underneath his fingers and swallowing on the dryness, the almost-nervousness he was determined to ignore. “I believe I am giving all indications,” Andras said, “that that is the case.”

“Why do you talk like that?” Jay asked. “You got struck by lightning? You get fused to one of your computers so that the dictionary is stuck in your mouth?”

“Yes,” Andras said earnestly. “It’s very tragic, actually. I can scarcely say three words under three syllables.”

Jay huffed out a laugh, and once glanced away again, like he was nervous to make eye contact, and then said, “Am I… bothering you?”

“Yes,” Andras said. “Very much so.”

“Oh,” Jay said, deflating again, “then I should—”

“Take me somewhere,” Andras said, and he leaned forward at the waist, so that his face was at a level with Jay’s, their noses nearly touching. Jay’s eyes, up close, were impossibly lovely: their mottled colour was deep as anything, those depths only emphasised as his pupil’s dilated slightly, stock-still like he was frightened to move away or to come closer.

“You sure?” Jay asked.

“Listen to me very carefully, because I am only going to say this once,” Andras said, remaining bent at the waist – he knew that his posture was perfect, no matter that he hadn’t stood for ballet since he was still a child in an ill-fitting binder, chest aching with every plié. It was different now, of course – there was no need for a binder anymore, and he could dance unimpeded if he wanted to, but he’d really have to rent proper space to dance in, and buy new shoes, break them in again… Jay was looking at him like he was on the stage right now, and Andras slid two fingers into the strap of Jay’s satchel, dragging it away from his chest for a moment before letting it pop back. “You are going to bring me to an eatery or drinking establishment of your choice. You are going to purchase for me a drink, or perhaps we shall share a meal. You are going to be so very gallant: you will open doors for me, you will put out my chair for me, you will help me off with my coat. Do you know what will happen then, Mr Henderson?”

Jay gave a minute shake of his head.

“We are going to have a very enjoyable time together,” Andras said, “because you and I are very handsome young gentlemen, and if I did not like you very much, I would not spend such time as I do delicately mending together your every cut and boo-boo.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“I would,” Andras amended. “But I would not do it with such a charming smile on my charming face.”

“It is a charming smile,” Jay mumbled, smiling tightly, his cheeks burning so brightly he seemed fit to light up the town with.

“Isn’t it?”

Jay inhaled, and then drew himself up as though there were strings attached to his rounded shoulders, puffing out his barrel chest. “Andras Griffiths. I am going to take you to… an Italian restaurant.” He shoved out one arm, the bend in the elbow slightly awkward, his knuckles whitening at how tightly he’d made the first, and Andras felt his lips curl into a smile, and he slid his arm through the offered curve.

“That’s all I wanted you to say,” Andras said,

“I wasn’t sure if you dated… Dated,” Jay said. “Trans guys.”

“Of course,” Andras said. “It’s cis guys I don’t date.”

Jay turned to stare up at him for a moment, and Andras felt his gaze dip from Andras’ face down to his chest, his waist, and back up again. “You mean,” Jay said, breathless, “Are you—”

“Stealthy as a spy,” Andras said, and he tugged Jay close to him when Jay laughed, tugged Jay to lean his cheek against Andras’ shoulder.

“I can’t do T. I have some clotting issues, and the health risk is too high.”

“I would never have believed you were at a risk for blood clots,” Andras said. “You always seem to bleed very freely.”

“Well, that’s just for you,” Jay said. “I like to show off.”

Andras gasped, curling his fingers in Jay’s cropped-short hair, feeling its spiky texture drag against his palm. “A joke from Jay Henderson!” he exclaimed, drumming his fingers on the top of the other man’s head. “Will wonders never cease?”

They walked in silence for a while, Jay still leaning against Andras’ side.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Evidently.”

“Are you, like— You always wear the suit shirt and cardigan. Are you like, really built under all that?”

“Oh, yes,” Andras said. “I look precisely like the outside of a Hollister bag, but with two underlines in red.”

“Really?”

“No, I have a dancer’s physique. But the lines of emphasis remain all the same.”

Jay laughed again, shaking his head. “God,” he muttered. “I never met a man who talked like you.”

“Lucky you have me then, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Jay said. “Yeah, seems like. Lwcus. Uh— Ffodus.”

“Rhagluniaethol,” Andras said.

“The fuck does that mean?” Jay asked, and Andras laughed, and turned to kiss him.

For a moment, Jay was frozen under Andras’ mouth, and Andras almost pulled away again, but Jay let out a sharp noise, grabbed him by the front of his cardigan and kept him dragged close, kissed him very hard, with far more skill than Andras would have expected. Andras let out a breathless noise, almost a whimper, let Jay drag him down closer, forcing him to bend over – he’d have to get used to that, he supposed.

“We could skip dinner,” Andras suggested in a soft, almost wheeze of a voice. “If you’d like to keep kissing me.”

“I’ll kiss you after,” Jay promised. “Food first.”

“So commanding,” Andras purred. “Lead me wherever you please, Mr Henderson.”

“I’m never gonna stop blushing if you keep talking like that.”

“Is that meant to be a deterrent?”

Jay chuckled, and tugged Andras toward the restaurant door. “I guess not,” he mumbled, and they walked in together.

Thanks for reading! I’m on Twitter, and you can leave a tip on Ko-Fi here. Also, I have books out! Please reblog this fic if you enjoyed it!

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[loudmouthcd]

introducing . .  MALI CHUSUK . CIS WOMAN . 21 YEARS OLD . HEALTH AND SPORTS SCIENCE MAJOR . GIRLS SOCCER TEAM CAPTAIN .

hello hello !! im so excited to be here ! my name is g , and u can find me on my musings blog @ pocmuzings if u ever want to hmu ! i’m 23 and in the aest timezone , so ill be on at pretty random hours between working my 9-5 ! i’m a cis woman , and use she / her pronouns . i’m a proud brown beautiful woman ( im indian ) !  if u would like my discord , feel free to ask ! i’m a horror movie enthusiast , and would d*e for any poc in the entire world . . 

i’m currently trying to figure out where the heck my sidebar links have gone on this theme . . so pls Bear with me fkjnfnjkfj . ( help . . help . . they’re in the theme preview idk what i did ) 

here’s mali , she’s a muse i’ve always wanted to play but never been able to !

inspiration for her is mandy milkovich from shameless , rosa diaz from b99 , rebeca from elite , kiara from outer banks and viola from shes the man

mali was raised in a house filled with boys , and her father was quite strict and determined . her relationship with her father has never been very personal, but more so almost like a business deal , or like a coach and his student 

mali was quite active as a child , and quite energetic . she was always running around and bouncing off walls - it drove her father wild because he could never make her sit still , whilst also trying to raise her older brothers at the same time

because of this , mali kinda took to her own devices . she was introduced to soccer at school , and that was her first love . she found herself playing it at every lunch break , or rolling the ball under the desk during class time . it helped with her jitteriness 

it took a year or two before her father realised that she was quite keen on soccer , and she was good at it - and he was overjoyed at the talent she had when it came to playing . she was a strong striker and attacker , but she was also quite aggressive and competitive on the field . she didn’t really have much etiquette when it came to the game , and she would play dirty at times . this . . only made her father even happier . suddenly he went from barely noticing her , to being at every soccer practice and game she had . he bought her the best soccer cleats he could afford , and pushed for her to win every game and score as many goals as possible . he went from not being very invested in mali , as the only girl in the family ( he didn’t know what to do with a girl ) , to being her number one fan

at first it was great . . but then . . her father got a little overbearing and controlling. if she didn’t make a shot , she could feel his disappointment radiating from a mile away . if she allowed someone to trip or foul her , her father would berate her in the car for not having been more intuitive . her father pushed her to be more and more competitive and the best she could be . mali still thoroughly loved soccer , but she started to find it slightly draining . 

whenever she had a second of time outside of studying , her father would be making her run drills or shoot goals in the backyard . she never really got a lot of time to be by herself or do stuff she wanted ( like just normal teenage girl stuff . . getting crushes on people , going to house parties , having her first beer . . ) 

mali has spent majority of her time either with her brothers and her father ( the entire house is pure chaos . messy . loud burping . video games . yelling across rooms to each other . there’s constant noise at all hours of the day ) , or hanging out with her fellow soccer team players ( sometimes they got along with mali , sometimes they saw her as too much of a ball hog or taking the game ‘ too seriously ‘ ) . mali hasn’t really had a chance to develop many friendships outside of this , and it’s beginning to really effect her 

mali has decided to take somewhat of a step back from soccer ( and the competitiveness of it ) , but she’s also not telling her father about that . mali misses having FUN with playing , instead of seeing it as a sport and chore .

she also wants to have the full college experience . her entire first year was dedicated to soccer and getting used to college and living out of home for the first time . this new independency is fantastic , but mali has no idea what to do with it . she wants to live . really live . really get the full experience .

mali really wants to be more ‘ feminine ‘ . she wants to know how to do boss eyeliner , and wear pretty dresses with heels . at the moment , her wardrobe consists of baggy sweaters , ripped jeans , and a lot of sweatpants . she finds woman to be so so beautiful . . but looks at herself and sees a Gremlin . . oh to be a Woman . . wow . . 

mali can be described as . . . very very blunt and loudmouthed . a bi disaster . chaotic and messy . competitive and driven , but also very blasé and careless at times ( reckless may be a better word ) . she’s very spontaneous , and always up for literally anything ( if u wanna get a burrito at 2am , mali will come . if you want to roadtrip across the state , mali will ride shotgun . she never says no ) 

mali is very sick of being seen as ‘ one of the dudes ‘ or ‘ one of the guys ‘ , she especially wants to be making more female friends and have more females in her life , because . . she’s literally never had many that weren’t on the soccer team with her , or her own competition !

connections ( but also pls i will fill any connection u WANT )

trainwreck meet trainwreck : give me two disaster bastards ! together they are absolute chaos ! they are very similair in that they are both abrasive and intense and very high energy . they usually will encourage each others bad behaviours or be somewhat of a bad influence to each other 

‘ one of the boys ‘ : give me a male friend who literally sees mali as another one of the guys . it irks mali sometimes and she has to remind them , hey  . . im a girl too , and they’re always like ‘ yeah but ur not a GIRL girl ‘ , and that lowkey grinds her gears . SHE WANTS TO BE A GIRL GIRL

soft females : please . . my god . . give me the softest sweetest gal to mali’s absolute demonic energy

soccer players : 100000% believe mali has challenged ur character to an impromptu game of soccer at one point . it doesn’t matter if ur not in the same league or team as mali . if u play soccer for even one second , she will want to size u up and try Beat u at it . 

childhood friends : i ain’t never seen two pretty childhood friends . . no i’m kidding , but i do love childhood friends so SO much

ride or die : I LOVE RIDE OR DIES . GIVE ME TWO PEOPLE WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR EACH OTHER AT ANY TIME . THEY’D DROP ENTIRE WORLDS FOR EACH OTHER

siblings but not by blood : they bicker , they rant , they get frustrated . . but they always always come back to each other . they can call each other an asshole then text each other ten mins later and be like ‘ taco bell ? :) ‘ dskjnfdnjk

watch it , bitch : mali is . . a Lot . she’s very intense and loud , and she has no manners . she’s very competitive and aggressive at times and i completely understand why that isnt everyones cup of tea ! lets get some negative connections up in here !

bi bi bi : give me hookups . past . present .emerging . future . let mali be a hoe , she deserves it . she deserves the college experience

party in the usa : whos gonna introduce mali to alcohol n partying and having  a Wild As Heck night ?

outer banks : pls pls pls pls PLEASE give me an outer banks - esque squad . total idiots . absolute morons ..  there’s not a single brain cell between them  . . 

mali , you look like shit : please teach her how to not wear the same sweatshirt 10 days in a row . pls clean her up . pls show her how to be Pretty . make her over . . . i beg of u . . 

older sister : honestly kinda like the above plot but i’d love for a Wise Woman to just . . be a mentor and guide to mali and be an amazing friend to her 

GIRL SQUAD : i literally love female friendships so muhc . . its smth that can be so personal . . but really my god . give me and mali a bunch of females in her life , shes never really had that before and she Deserves it 

pain in my ass : they both irritate each other endlessly . they’re both too similair , maybe ,and that’s why they clash . a lot of it is ‘ harmless teasing ‘ and ‘ banter ‘ for the most part , but they literally fight like an old married couple around each other .

[bestworstcase]

I know that saporian isn’t analogous to any real word language but do you have anything in mind when you think of accents for it, or just about accents in general for bitter snow?

i imagine that most saporian speakers don’t have an immediately obvious accent when speaking coronan because typically they are growing up with coronan as their primary language; the exceptions are people from the very rural areas where saporian is still spoken over coronan.

anyway in general i think the accent has a bit of a lilt in the… rhythm? of how words are spoken. and then to get into specifics, with the (silly) premise that coronan has the same consonant inventory as english, for simplicity’s sake:

h (a voiceless glottal fricative) tends to become x (a voiceless velar fricative), meaning that instead of being articulated in the throat (as in english) it’s articulated in the back of the mouth with the back of the tongue against the soft palate.

b tends to become p. f tends to become a voiceless th. the “ch” sound (tʃ) gets pronounces more like χ, a voiceless ulvular fricative articulated with the back of the tongue at the uvula. the “j” sound (dʒ) becomes the saporian “zh” sound (ʒ), which is a softer sound (dʒ is an affricate, meaning it starts as a stop and is released as a fricative, while ʒ is a fricative). r gets a very slight trill or tap, not a full roll but like, the beginning of one. v and w tend to get mixed up because neither exists in saporian, and i think in very heavy accents they’d both tend to get lumped as p.

(semi-related: one of the most common spelling mistakes made in coronan by saporians whose primary language is saporian is spelling the voiced th as dh, because that’s how that sound is spelt in saporian.)

in terms of vowels, coronan has way more vowels than saporian does and an ungodly number of diphthongs whereas saporian only has three (eɪ, like “ay” in “day”, ɔɪ, like “oi” in “choice”, and oʊ, like “o” in “mote”). so there is a tendency to (a) struggle over u or mispronounce it as the saporian ē (ʏ) which is its closest approximation, (b) get vowel combos like oo or oa or ie or etc wrong by pronouncing them as distinct vowels (like they would be in saporian) rather than as diphthongs, and (c) with heavy accents in particular, swap vowels around to match the saporian vowel harmony rule, so e and i become ʏ and ɪ in words with a long a (like in “father”) or an o in them.

now in reverse - coronans trying to learn saporian - the coronan accent is notorious for failing to distinguish between z, ź, ś, and zh, which are all quite similar fricative sounds that are also, in saporian, used to encode gender meaning; so for example za is “she”, śa is “he”, źa is the singular 3rd pronoun for the saporian third gender, and using zh in a gendered word in reference to a person is the equivalent of calling somebody “it.”

(another sidebar here: the spelling of zhan tiri’s name predates saporia and the saporian language by quite a bit, and this has given rise to a lot of sort of niche discourse in the saporian cult over whether it’s appropriate to keep the spelling that implies, in saporian, that she’s an abstract idea or an object or otherwise not a person, especially when all her saporian-language epithets use the feminine z; zhan tiri herself finds this very entertaining and refuses to elaborate when asked.)

and more generally i figure coronans speaking saporian just struggle with the sheer amount of fricatives in any given word, because fully two thirds of saporian’s consonant inventory is fricatives.

[hte-spagheti]

toyhouse tutorial 101

yo heres a tutorial 4 how 2 upload characters 2 toyhouse cuz its weird n complicated. this is mostly 4 my friends but any1 can rb it xoxo. under tha cut its long as FUCK

step 1 is mouse ovr that submit button n click tha character button. its on tha very top of tha screen

after u do that u will see this page. lots of fields and boxes very scary. theres evn more if u scroll we will get 2 those

click tha “choose file” button under tha “upload avatar” box n select tha avatar 4 this character. u can also crop it using tha slider and drag tha picture around 

check out my sexy cursors frm totallyfreecursors dot com. that looks nice :)

now scroll down a liddol and u see all these things. character name is preddy self explanatory, just type tha name. dont worry abt tha next row yet ill make a part 2 4 those this is Basics. u know wut tags do they make ur character show up when u search stuff. idk if any1 actually searches stuff tho so its not rlly important

this sexy bitch is tha fields spot <3 i usually put stuff liek full name n pronouns in there. press tha add fields button 2 add and tha x on tha lesf 2 delete. u can also click n drag tha blue arrow 2 move then up n down if u accidentally mess up tha order or smthng. tha “field name” box automatically bolds btw

this looks good :). u should probably keep it preddy short bcuz of tha way it formats, dont put liek their whole backstory here

this is tha main text box. THIS is where u put tha whole backstory. theres sum standard formatting tools most word processors hav but its mostly just a huge box u can write w/e u want it. u can also put html code, sum ppl hav preddy fun layouts but thats complicated who cares

if u made tha character by urself u can skip this part. but if sum1 else made it u gotta credit them. if they hav a toyhouse account press “on-site creator” and enter their username, maybe ask them abt tha other boxes i dont actually know wut those mean. if they dont hav a toyhouse enter a url 4 their other social media. i made tutorial guy by myself tho so i dont need 2

when it looks good click create character! u can always come back n edit later dw if its not perfect. tha upload image tab is a mini version of tha next step ill get there in a sec

so now ur page looks liek this. heres how all tha steps above look on a completed profile

u may notice evn tho tutorial guy haz an icon, there r no images in their gallery. tha icon does not count as an image u hav 2 upload it separately or u wont b able 2 see it fullsize

there r 2 ways 2 upload a new image, tha top bar under submit, and tha left sidebar on ur characters page 

they both redirect 2 tha same menu. step 1 is choose ur file, standard image file choosing thing. toyhouse supports pngs, jpgs, and animated gifs! u can put a caption if u want, most ppl dont

if you used tha upload image button on ur characters page, tha character will b in this field automatically. u can also add more characters if there r multiple ppl in tha drawing w tha add character button

heres tha artist credit field. ur own username will b here by default. this is similar 2 tha design credit above, if tha artist haz a toyhouse put their username, if they dont click “off site artist” n enter a url. i think ur supposed 2 credit if u use a dollmaker but im not sure. u can also put multiple artists if its a collab 

this is tha watermark field. by default i think it puts a huge ass toyhouse watermark ovr ur nice art so change both of these 1 “full size” there wont b a watermark. other than that dont worry abt it

finally, this is tha n$fw warning field. if ur art is a liddol Saucy make sure u put a warning. i dont know tha specific policies that classify whats “mild s*xual content” and wut is “explicit s*xual content”, maybe check tha rules n tos (those links r at tha very bottom of evry page). theres also a field for gore, and a more general “sensitive content” field. if ur not sure, just click that and u can put a custom warning. when you mouse ovr tha image tha warning will display

now we hav an image :) u can look at tha whole gallery by clicking tha button on tha left there, and it will automatically display a few images on tha main profile liek this

thats it!!! u did it u read tha whole tutorial! this is a very basic thing theres a lot more features but i dont want this 2 go on 4EVR so im ending here. if u hav questions ask in tha forums or see if u hav friends w toyhouse accounts who can help :)

[cynicrph]

Hi, Kelpie! I was wondering if we could have an opinion, please? This is a new full-app OC RP, and we're looking for some feedback. Thank you so much!

absolutely !  enclosed is my full opinion of @kolbehq​. please keep in mind that i am just one person with one set of opinions, so please don’t take anything i say personally or at face value. if you have any questions or clarification, don’t hesitate to ask !

        FIRST LOOK ( URL, ICON & MAIN THEME ) — is that the starship enterprise i see ? the star trek vibes are immediate ! your url is snappy, to the point and memorable. i absolutely adore everything about your icon and mobile theme (that header? to die for). you’ve absolutely sold me and my little nerd heart 100% ! my only suggestion would be to brighten the text in your mobile theme – it’s a touch too dark against the black background and could definitely cause some eye strain.

        THEME — this theme, ugh ! i’m very particular when it comes to container themes, but i just love everything you’ve done with this. not only have you chosen an excellent theme for your group stylistically, but you’ve paired it with such complementary graphics and impeccable details – the sidebar icons? such a nice touch !  honestly i’m floored. i love everything about this. my only suggestions here would be to lighten the colour of your italics – again, a little dark – change the colour of your links, which are indistinguishable from regular text, and maybe use smaller resources for your mascot? i adore emmy, but especially with light gifs against a dark background they draw the eye and can be very distracting. otherwise, your nav looks pretty good, too ! there’s a lot of links but they’re not too difficult to navigate or understand. if anything, i think i’d prefer to see your ‘before joining’ and ‘applying’ sections joined, followed by your universe links – more streamlined and less all over the place. 

        PLOT — having a shorter and full plot separate is a nice touch ! i’m definitely more of a tldr gal myself, but of course for this i read both. you’ve got me absolutely hooked. your short plot is snappy and to the point – and, if i have any questions left your full plot pretty much covers it !  i‘m genuinely excited to read everything you’ve written, so good job ! definitely no complaints here. i’m really, really loving the star-trek-meets-the-100-esque nature of the plot !

        RULES — looks pretty standard !  overall, your rules are of pretty good length – not too long, not too short – and seem to be fairly comprehensive. just a few nitpicky things: i’m inclined to say a week is a little long for an activity limit, but if you feel your members will be dedicated, then go for it. i would also suggest adding both a rule about respecting member and character pronouns, and something to the effect of consequences for broken rules – e.g. how many warnings will you give members for not tagging triggers before they’re asked to leave? is there a strike system? but i love your rules for diversity and everything is laid out very clearly without sounding harsh or patronising !

        APPLICATION — love it !  genuinely, i have nothing to say other than it looks good. it’s comprehensive enough that you’ll get a good idea of the characters your accepting, without asking for an arm and and a leg from your applicants. i suspect you’ll get some questions on the expected length of some of the responses, like background or criminal record, so i would suggest including your expectations (e.g. 3-5 paragraphs) or linking your completed character post to set the tone. otherwise, looks great !

        ADDITIONAL PAGES — i’ll be honest, the world building pages you have linked were pretty daunting at first. i think pages like the planets and species were very text heavy, but important, so i would suggest maybe breaking up the sections with banners or bigger subheadings. at first glance, it just looks like a lot. but, after reading through them i’m absolutely floored by the amount of depth and dimension you’ve created for this group. you’ve ticked every box and not only given applicants some fantastic resources to build their apps with, but – personally speaking – so much inspiration they might not even know what to do with it !

        ANYTHING ELSE — just a few more tidbits: your ooc list isn’t yet up. i’m not sure if that’s intentional or not, but as a potential applicant i like to be able to just skim what characters there are on a name/fc basis before jumping into bios. i’m so amazed by how well developed and thought through this group is. this is a MAJOR REC. you absolutely deserve all the success in the world, and i’m definitely toying with starting an app myself !

[kittyit]

trans male people can rage and guilt and rant about radical feminists cherrypicking for bad behavior all they want and it won't do anything to change the clear, undeniable pattern of male violence from male people who want to be female, particularly those who also pursue female people. once you see this pattern, you can't go back. realizing that was what was being experienced and witnessed during my time in the trans community was a huge turning point. it was excruciating cognitive dissonance. it goes against everything someone who wants to be an ally to trans male people is taught to believe.

i'm not really interested by radical feminists who haven't had to deal with the trans community focusing disproportionately on trans male people, especially radical feminists who are het-partnered and can't apply the same critical lens to the misogyny of the other male people in their life. i think transwomen can become a safe (and sometimes obsessive) target for naming misogyny because there are no consequences in their day to day. of course, the more legal protections we lose, the more consequences there will be, but i feel like other radical feminists might understand the kind of behavior i'm talking about.

i feel okay with the word choice of saying that there's an epidemic of trans male people being sexually predatory in liberal feminist/trans activist communities. this isn't because transwomen are trans, but because they're male people, like any other male person, operating in a community that is set up to both encourage sexual predation/demands for sexual interaction by framing it as politically sound (politics of desire/cotton ceiling/genital preference discourse) but also to stop the naming of harm from that predation by treating it as morally wrong to do (transmisogynistic).

in one-on-one male and female interactions, this setup is intensely dangerous for the female people. i want to be clear that although my focus is on how this affects lesbians (same sex attracted women) and has decimated our community, we are not the only ones affected. all a male person has to do is identify as trans and they have access to this entire framework, whether they're a college student whose entire experience of gender nonconformity is having they pronouns in their tumblr sidebar, a middle aged man with kids, a pornsick teenage boy, whatever - this tantalizing setup is just an easy, effortless self-identification away and whatever unlucky female people they have around them (daughters, sisters, wives, girlfriends, friends) are subject to its demands.

there's often the complaint from trans male people that there's no evidence of this pattern. they want numbers, peer-reviewed studies, jail surveys. my answer to that is incredulity. we know that a very small amount of sexual abusers actually face any sort of legal intervention and an even smaller number are convicted. i have never witnessed or been able to find a situation in which trans male violence in the queer community (even on a SERIAL BASIS) resulted in any legal action or jail time.

i know what i know! we know what we know. this is a really rambling post but i'm just at a point of such anger and hurt. i don't know what's going to happen in the future or if there will be any kind of meaningful backlash against this behavior that results in any safety and freedom for female people on a larger scale, but until then, we'll keep telling our stories and naming the patterns in the hopes the words get to the female people who need them.