#namjoon x oc

[magicshopaholic]

A Day in the Life

Summary: Namjoon and Kaya deal with the aftermath of their break-up. Dilara makes an uneasy realisation about her own relationship.

Pairing: Taehyung x OC, Namjoon x OC (different OCs)

Genre: Fluff, smut, angst

Word count: 9.8 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language, alcohol, making out, sex, oral sex, jealousy

A/N: Here is the next installment of unedited fic series. Takes place a couple of months after Moving On.

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2, @margopinkerton, @faearchives, @whoisbts, @purpleseoul7, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)

Listen to: "meet me in amsterdam" by RINI

taehyung masterlist | namjoon masterlist | main masterlist

It is sunny and hot; Yoongi can almost hear his skin sizzle. 

“Put this on before you get sunburnt,” he says to Jimin, tossing him a bottle of sunscreen as he arrives at the spot where the rest of the group is. Jimin catches it and examines the label while providing an opinion of the brand that Yoongi elects to ignore. Jungkook responds instead and they proceed to bicker half-heartedly, while Taehyung lies on a deck chair next to them, jumping in only to contribute singular comments that add fuel to the fire.

Yoongi takes a seat next to them and takes off his t-shirt, glad for the shade under the umbrella. Ibiza is as warm as they say - but it’s also as busy as they say. He turns to check on Namjoon, who had been a few steps behind him, now crouched by the end of the steps that lead from their hotel to the private beach and peering interestedly at something in the sand.

He squints but before he can get a clearer picture of what it is, he feels a tap on his shoulder to see Jungkook returning the sunscreen to him. Yoongi squeezes a bit more onto his palm and turns to Seokjin on his other side.

“Hyung? Sunscreen?”

Seokjin, lying on his own chair with a pair of Raybans on his face and a streak of white sunscreen along the bridge of his nose, sighs without turning. “What’s the point, Yoongi?” he asks wryly. “We’re all just going to die one day anyway.”

Yoongi stares at him. “What?”

“Sunscreen isn’t the answer. It’s opportunity. Serendipity. It’s…” He takes a deep breath and exhales, still not turning, “... destiny.”

For a moment, Yoongi wonders if he’s being pranked, but then Jimin and Jungkook snort at Seokjin’s response and he decides he doesn’t want to know. 

“Oi, Namjoon,” he says to the leader, who joins them then. “Sunscreen,” he states, tossing the bottle to Namjoon, who fumbles it and drops it.

“Thanks,” he mutters, sheepishly picking it up and shaking it before squeezing a dollop onto his palm. “Where’s… four, five, six - where’s Dilara?”

“Went to buy some drinks,” supplies Taehyung, golden-brown in a pair of red swimming trunks, sitting up gracefully and shaking out his shaggy black hair. “She should be back by now, though.” 

Yoongi turns to Namjoon. “Spoken to Hobi yet?”

Namjoon nods, taking a seat under the second umbrella and rubbing the lotion along his arms. “He landed a little while ago. I asked him to meet Bang PD if he could, since he’s in Seoul anyway. Some investors at the building this week,” he adds, answering Yoongi’s raise of the eyebrows.

“He’s missing out on a beach weekend, though,” says Jimin earnestly. He turns to face the expanse of the brilliant blue ocean and the vast white sand of their private beach. “He would love this,” he adds forlornly.

“He’ll be here later this week. We can make the trip back up here if we have the time,” offers Namjoon, before taking off his tank top.

“Ooooh!” 

The three other boys jeer at his naked torso and Yoongi joins in as well, glad to see Namjoon’s abashed smile, the dimple popping faintly on his left cheek. Next to him, even Seokjin cracks a smile.

“Shut up,” he replies dismissively, looking a bit ruffled but the dimple stays on his cheek. “Why aren’t you guys in the water?”

“Waiting for Dilara,” mutters Taehyung, reaching for his phone.

“There she is!” Jungkook exclaims, and they turn to see where he’s pointing at. Across the private beach, near the edge of where the general public is lounging on the sand, Yoongi spots Dilara, in a red bikini top and light blue denim shorts, carrying a plastic bag and wading through the sand.

Jungkook waves to her but she doesn’t notice; as they watch, she gets stopped by a tall, tan man in swimming trunks. A brief exchange of words occurs, full of smiles and animated gestures from him and a few seconds later, three more men join him and they stand together, keeping her in the middle. 

“A very different looking fanbase than ours, I have to say,” observes Namjoon, as the first one hands his phone to a stranger and they all pose for a picture. 

“You don’t think they’ll follow her here and see us, do you?” Jungkook asks, sounding slightly anxious.

Yoongi chuckles, agreeing with Namjoon. “I think we’re okay. They don’t look like anyone who’s going to recognise us,” he adds, glancing at Taehyung. He can only see a sliver of the younger member’s face as he watches his girlfriend, his body very still. 

Dilara’s hands are occupied with the bag and a peace sign she makes while the guys stand around her, arms around each other and grinning into the camera. Yoongi can’t be sure because she’s wearing sunglasses, but it seems as though she’s looking over in their direction. A couple of snaps later, Dilara waves to the fans and continues in her initial direction.

“Okay, I have cokes and lemonades,” she begins when she reaches them, tossing a yellow can so it lands neatly next to Seokjin on the towel, “beers,” she adds, handing one to Namjoon and Yoongi each, “and diet coke,” she finishes, handing one each to Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, the latter of whom pauses for a fraction of a second before he takes it.

“Coke?” Jimin wrinkles his nose exaggeratedly behind his Dior sunglasses. “Toss me a beer, woman,” he says, switching to English.

Without missing a beat, Dilara chucks a cold can at his lap which he catches right as it lands on his crotch; she gives him a wide smile when he winces and mutters a tight “Thanks”. She pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head and clicks open her own can of beer. 

“Cheers, everyone,” she says, and all of them respond with garbled Cheers, clinking cans here and there. She takes a sip of her beer and nudges Taehyung’s knee. “Hey,” she says lightly.

A moment passes before he replies. “Hey,” he murmurs, scooting slightly so she can sit next to him and accepting a peck on the cheek.

“Your fans follow you here?” Jimin asks teasingly.

“Doubt it,” she says, shaking her head. “It’s just mid-season excitement. We’re in the western Europe - it’s the heartland of F1. Oh, and by the way - huge number of crabs all along the border,” she warns them, shuddering. “Popping out of the sand with zero warning.”

Yoongi turns to Namjoon. “Is that what you were doing back there?” he asks, pointing towards the steps to the hotel.

“Maybe,” he answers sheepishly. “They were really cute,” he adds, sounding slightly defensive.

“You’re possibly the only person on earth who thinks that, Namjoon,” says Seokjin from behind them.

Namjoon considers this, then shrugs. “They’re an acquired taste. Kaya hated them, too. Always found them creepy.”

There’s a pause where a few of them exchange looks, all of them surely thinking the same thing. Yoongi can’t remember the last time Namjoon brought up Kaya in casual conversation, but he can only presume it’s progress.

Fortunately, Dilara speaks before it gets fishy. “I agree. I think it’s the way they scuttle?”

The conversation continues under the shade of the umbrellas, the drinks feeling nice and cold. Yoongi is glad for the weekend break; it’s rare during tour and despite the fact that the coming week is going to be packed with events and appearances until the weekend concert (and race), it’s nice to have a couple of days of rest.

“Namjoon hyung, do you think the company will let me fly Sooah out to Japan for the encore concert?” Jimin asks after a while. 

“I think so. We can ask the travel team,” he assures him. “You may have to fill out a form and everything, but it should be okay. Do you need tickets, too, or will she join us backstage?”

“She prefers watching it from the audience,” replies Jimin, pouting slightly. “Says it’s a better experience.”

“Oh, I agree,” pipes up Dilara, with Taehyung’s arm loose around her shoulders. “Can I get a ticket, too, for the next one?”

“Wait, you don’t like being backstage?” Jungkook asks, sounding flabbergasted. 

“Of course I like it, but it’s not the same,” she argues, while a hint of a smile flickers on Taehyung’s face. “The energy outside is something else. Especially during your love you so bad moments,” she adds, winking and Jungkook. “Hearing the screams backstage isn’t quite the same, JK.”

Jungkook’s ears go a brilliant shade of red while Jimin guffaws. Taehyung nudges her. “Come into the water with me?”

“Yeah, sure.” She nods and they both stand up, Taehyung taking off his sunglasses and setting his drink on the plastic table between the chairs. Dilara nonchalantly drops her shorts, revealing plain red bikini bottoms; Yoongi looks away out of respect and notices Namjoon do the same, while Jungkook begins fidgeting with something on the edge of his chair. Taehyung and Dilara step out into the sun and begin walking towards the ocean, holding hands, while her long hair curls down her back. 

“They look happy.” 

Yoongi turns to see Seokjin sitting up finally and reaching for his drink. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

He shrugs noncommittally but doesn’t answer. Yoongi glances at the happy couple again, now jogging towards the water, Taehyung’s hands on her waist and faint laughter carrying over to them as they splash into the shallow waves.

“The water looks amazing,” remarks Jungkook, his eyes on the waves. “Jimin, come on.”

“My beer isn’t -”

But Jungkook steers him to stand up and Jimin tries to down as much of his beer as he can. “Jesus, slow down,” says Namjoon, frowning.

“You should join, too, hyung,” says Jimin, sputtering slightly. “Show off that body,” he teases, poking his shoulder before he and Jungkook race towards the water where Taehyung and Dilara are already drenched, splashing water at each other and laughing.

“I need to work after this.” Namjoon muses, almost to himself. “Can’t spend too long here.”

Seokjin clicks his tongue, now back on his back. “Give yourself a break, Namjoon. The company isn’t going to come crashing down if you take an hour off.”

“But -”

“Everything isn’t your responsibility,” he interrupts. Namjoon sighs but says nothing, turning to Yoongi instead.

“Coming?”

“In a bit.” Yoongi gives him a wave as he stands up and begins walking towards the water. His shoulders look wider in the sun, despite the weight he’s clearly lost lately. The others are midway through a game of chicken, with Dilara and Jimin on Taehyung and Jungkook’s shoulders respectively. Yoongi smiles involuntarily as he watches them; it’s nice to see them letting loose, especially Namjoon.

He leans back and reaches for his phone, snapping a picture of all five of them in the water, candid and happy. He turns to Seokjin.

“You’re not going, hyung?”

Seokjin doesn’t answer for a moment. “I’ll go if you go.”

Yoongi considers this, then grins. “I’ll wait you out, old man. You know you can’t resist the water,” he quips, laughing when Seokjin chuckles. 

“Someone’s got to watch our stuff,” he reasons, gesturing to their phones and discarded clothes.

“Good thing we’ve got security.” Yoongi cocks his head towards the two casually dressed bodyguards lounging a little ways away, sipping on a pearly white drink each. “Come on, take a break, hyung. You deserve it.”

Seokjin is silent for a bit, his sunglasses hiding his eyes. “Looks like a lot of splashing,” he mutters, before sighing.

Yoongi gives him a sympathetic look. He’s not sure, but there’s only one thing lately that’s capable of ruining his mood this much. “For the kids,” he urges gently, glancing at the ocean again.

“Fine.” Seokjin exhales in annoyance and places his can on the table before standing up. 

“That’s it,” says Yoongi encouragingly, standing up as well. The sun is hot and the water looks magnificent. “For the kids,” he repeats.

Seokjin huffs as they step out from under the umbrellas and pad their way down the sand. “Sometimes I hate the kids,” he mutters, squinting in the sun.

“I know. Me, too.”

—

Dilara makes her way up the steps to the poolside, the ends of her hair dripping water down her side. The villa booked for them is away from the main hotel, as private as possible, for which she’s more than glad. There’s the private beach and the private pool and she and Taehyung were always guaranteed a private room.

She glances at her phone, still not seeing the email she’s been waiting for since yesterday. Clicking her tongue softly, she walks around the side of the house to see Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook sitting on two deck chairs, huddled around something. Drenched hair and drops of water still on their shoulders; they’ve just finished a swim. Resisting the urge to bite down on Taehyung’s shoulder to surprise him, she veers instead for the member closest to her with his back to her.

“What’s up, guys?” she says loudly, suddenly placing her hands on Jungkook’s shoulders and leaning over him to see them peering into someone’s phone. 

Taehyung and Jimin start, but Jungkook jumps. “Mweoya!” he gasps, clutching his chest. “Don’t - don’t do that,” he stutters, his face flushing.

Dilara immediately raises her hands. “Whoa. Sorry.” She frowns as he nods jerkily. “So… what are you guys doing?” she asks again, this time in a normal volume, sitting next to Jimin.

All three of them exchange looks before Taehyung shrugs. “Come on, we can tell her.”

She raises her eyebrows as Jungkook, who’s holding the phone, brings it closer to her. “I found this on Twitter,” he confesses in a low voice and plays a video. It’s barely ten seconds long; it takes Dilara about half the video to realise who the subject is.

“Is - is that Kaya?” she exclaims, wincing when they all shush her in unison. “Sorry - but… what is that? Is that her at uni? Getting mobbed?”

“It’s not that many people,” points out Jimin, but even he sounds doubtful. “And they’re not, like… crowding her. They’re just…”

“Following her,” finishes Dilara. “So her identity is kind of confirmed, then,” she murmurs, already feeling bad for Kaya. She can see Jimin’s point: it’s not that bad. It’s about five or six people turning as she passes by them, dressed casually with a coffee in her hand, and calling out her name in different tones of surprise and excitement. Kaya turns and faces the camera only for a moment, but it’s unmistakably her. 

“Good thing Namjoon hyung doesn’t go on Twitter,” says Taehyung, nibbling on a fingernail.

Dilara’s head snaps up. “Wait… you’re not going to keep this from him.” When none of them answer, she tilts her head, shoulders falling. “Guys. You can’t be serious.”

“But he’s been in such a good mood these days,” reasons Jungkook, eyes wide. “Okay, not good, but better. I don’t want to…”

“Yeah, I get that, but this is important. And he’ll find out anyway,” she points out. “Come on, you can’t not tell Namjoon.”

“Tell me what?” 

In the most fortuitous of moments, all four of them turn to see Namjoon approaching them, in fresh clothes and wet silvery hair. He looks only mildly suspicious at seeing them huddled together, almost as if expecting to catch them in some act of mischief.

“Um…” 

The three boys look at each other, and then at Dilara. She gives them a look, knowing that regardless of Namjoon’s mood, he has a right to know. He should know.

Jungkook sighs and hands the phone to Namjoon. “We found this today.”

Dilara almost regrets her decision when she sees Namjoon’s face fall a bit more with each passing second. Next to her, Jimin scowls. “Knew we shouldn’t have told her,” he mutters softly, wincing when she slaps his shoulder lightly.

“This…” Namjoon clears his throat. “This was today?”

“Probably,” answers Jungkook slowly.

“So not too long ago,” finishes Taehyung, biting his lip. “Sorry, hyung.”

Namjoon seems to snap out of it and hands the phone back to Jungkook. “Thanks. For letting me know.” Without waiting for a response, he heads back into the house.

“Think he’ll talk to her?” Taehyung asks after a while, once they’ve finished another swim and are going into the kitchen.

“I think he already is,” replies Dilara, cocking her head towards the garden where Namjoon is sitting at a small wicker table, phone on the table and ear pods in his ear as he runs his hands over his face.

Namjoon exhales as the phone rings, his heart beating rapidly in a mixture of fear and anticipation. The video was short - too short. It told him nothing - nothing about who the people were, why it was suddenly a frenzy, whether she was officially recognised now, and how she is taking it. Does she hate him? Is she even angrier with him than she had been two months ago? Or is she finally coming around to understand why he did what he did?

Except… why isn’t it working? It’s the part that’s nagging at him uncomfortably, small but sharp in his brain: why is it still happening? Why hasn’t the world left her alone, even after he has?

“Hello?”

His heart jolts; she sounds wary. “Hey,” he says softly. God, he’s missed her voice. Recorded videos on his phone don’t do it justice.

There’s a pause. “Hey.” 

He needs to speak, but it’s too hard. Defeat, anger and longing - it’s an unholy mess.

“I’m, uh… I saw the video.”

“What video?”

Namoon frowns. “The… video on Twitter. Outside your college? You, a bunch of strangers calling out your name? Mobbing you on your way to class?” he adds, running a hand through his hair and remembering the feeling of beng crowded at airports.

“Oh. That. Wait, there’s a video?” She sounds more exasperated than anything. 

“Yeah. Didn’t show a whole lot, though.”

Kaya sighs; she’s probably in her cabin in the college, or she’s hopefully returned to her apartment. A moment later, the thought of that comforts him less.

“Well. Nothing really happened. I wasn’t mobbed,” she clarifies, but doesn’t elaborate.

“Are you okay?” The words tumble out of his mouth without warning because this, more than anything, is what he needs to know.

“Yeah,” she answers softly. “Nothing happened,” she repeats. “I told them I had to get to class and they left me alone. I don’t know what you’re imagining, but it’s nothing like that.”

The picture in his mind of her frightened face, of her getting pulled, harassed and crowded in her personal space comes to an immediate pause. 

“I’m glad.” He bites his lip, feeling his throat hurt as a lump forms slowly. He doesn’t want the conversation to end and since she hasn’t hung up yet, he can only presume she doesn’t either. “How are you?”

“Namjoon,” she whispers, “what are you doing?”

“I’m just asking you how you are,” he says quickly. “Is that so bad?”

She takes a deep breath and it sounds like she’s about to argue, but then she simply sighs again. “I’m okay. You?”

“I’m…” He can’t lie. He’s been doing it constantly, putting on a smile, performing his heart out, joking on television. But he can’t lie to her. I’m a fucking mess, and I love you.

Kaya waits, and it’s clear she’s picked up on the pause. “You looked thin the last time I saw you.”

He remembers the last time. “It’s tour,” he murmurs. 

“Yeah. Okay.” There’s a shuffling sound at her end, like she’s standing up. “I have to go. I have a meeting and I have to drop off a draft to Adam’s office before that.”

She says it absently, and it seems to take her a few moments to register the dead silence on the line. Namjoon says nothing; there’s the white hot anger in his stomach he’s tried to ignore that’s returning, and the last thing he wants is to say something he might regret.

“Namjoon -”

“Okay,” he says tightly. “Bye, Kaya.” He hangs up before either of them can say anything else. 

—

“So…  he hung up?”

“Why is that so shocking?”

Dilara rolls onto her stomach and frowns, flipping her hair to the side so her phone is against her ear. “I don’t know. He’s the one who called you. Because he was worried?”

“Isn’t he always?” Kaya says wryly. “But this time, he actually had nothing to be worried about.”

. “Are you sure? I’m not going to overreact; you can tell me the truth.”

“I am, though. I saw the video - it looks worse than it was,” she explains. “I don’t think he believes me, though. I don’t think he wants to, because then all of this will have been for nothing.”

Dilara hums sympathetically, somewhat glad that despite her break-up with Namjoon, Kaya hasn’t stopped speaking with her out of association. She turns to glance at the bathroom, the sliding door of which is wide open, with only a blurry glass door blocking her view of her boyfriend showering inside. She bites her lip, shamelessly admiring his slender naked figure as he runs his hands through his wet hair.

“... in any case. I thought he’d be moving on by now.”

She winces, realising she’s missed part of Kaya’s sentence. “Um… well, he’s definitely not moving on. Honestly, he just seems really sad.”

“I know he is,” says Kaya, to Dilara’s surprise. “He was trying to act so calm and collected when he came to my apartment with his stupid goodbye, but…” She sighs, a mixture of frustration and sadness. “I saw that concert clip you sent me.”

“The Rome one?”

Kaya confirms it. The clip in question had been Dilara’s attempt at making Kaya feel better, except now she has no idea if it’s had the opposite impact. It was a short one, of Namjoon on stage during a concert, breaking down unexpectedly. He’d done it in the most Namjoon way possible, with silent tears slipping out of his eyes, a stoic posture and forced smile, until one by one, all the boys had hugged him, starting with Jungkook. 

The comments, of course, attributed it to anything and everything, from missing his parents to appreciating his Italian fans to his impending military service. But Dilara, who had actually been backstage at that concert, knew which pictures he’d been scrolling through earlier that day, of which Roman holiday and with whom.

She hasn’t mentioned any of this to Kaya, but something tells her she may have guessed anyway.

“Yeah, well. I think part of him is mad at me, too.”

“What does he have to be mad about?”

“I don’t do well with break–ups,” she mutters. “I say things and I get defensive. Sometimes I have a rebound problem.” She’s quiet for a moment. “I just don’t know what to say anymore, when he calls me like this. I mean, I know he’s sad,” she says emphatically. “I can hear it in his voice, but -” She scoffs and she sounds sad, too, and helpless. “What do I do about it? He’s doing it to himself, you know?”

“Yeah…” Dilara hears the water stop in the bathroom. “If it helps, I think he’s channelling a lot of it into music and stuff. Like a true artist,” she adds wryly. “He performed an unreleased song at last night’s concert and the audience went nuts. I mean, it was a really good song,” she admits.

“Yeah? What’s it called?” she asks, sounding only mildly interested.

“He didn’t say. I don’t think it has a title, but the internet is calling it Aphrodite based on the lyrics. You know someone is in deep when they’ve gone down the Greek mythology route,” she remarks.

Kaya sighs but doesn’t respond, changing the subject instead. “Can we talk about something else? How was Montreal?”

“Shit race,” answers Dilara, rolling her eyes. “I know wet races are a hoot to watch or whatever, but the track in Montreal becomes like fucking ice. I have to make up for my P7 in Barcelona and Silverstone next month, that’s all,” she mutters, turning back on her back and adjusting her red bikini top, feeling her mood sour.

Kaya seems to realise this, for she quickly responds. “It looked like you had fun at Ricciardo’s birthday party this week, though. The pictures are all over Instagram.”

Dilara chuckles. “Yeah, it was fun. Honestly, it’s a good thing he always celebrates it in Ibiza so I was already in Spain this weekend. And Lexie and Chris and Fred were invited, too, so all in all it was quite fun.”

“Oh, are those the people in this picture? The one you posted yesterday?” Kaya asks, and it’s clear she’s pulled up the picture on her phone. 

“Yeah. You should meet them when you’re in London in July.”

“Sure. Which one is Chris?”

“Chris Park? The one that’s not the blond German,” she quips.

“Ha ha,” replies Kaya sarcastically, before pausing. “He’s cute.” She scoffs when Dilara makes an exaggerated gagging sound. “Oh, come on, you have to be blind to not admit he’s hot.”

“Objectively speaking, I accept that he’s good looking in an obvious way,” she admits.

“Yeah, obvious hotness is the worst.”

Dilara laughs. “Fair enough. He’s not really my type, though. My type is more… classic,” she says, smirking as Taehyung exits the bathroom in nothing but a towel around his waist. “High cheekbones, artsy,” she lists, maintaining eye contact with him and nodding when he silently points at himself questioningly.

“Types can be fluid,” argues Kaya, but Dilara barely hears her. Stopping at her feet, Taehyung places a knee on the bed and crawls up towards her. 

Biting her lip in excitement, she starts to interrupt Kaya but Taehyung, face smooth and more handsome than ever, gives her a small shake of the head, indicating to her to continue her call.

“Oh - uh… what do you mean?” Dilara asks into the phone, peering at him as he presses a soft kiss to her bare sternum and moves lower before tugging at the strings of her red bikini bottom so the knots open with ease. Nudging her legs apart, he pushes her knees up and kisses the skin just above her slit.

“Fuck,” she mutters, realising a moment later that she’s still on the phone. “I mean… fuck, yeah. You’re right. Of course.”

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That weird interruption. Is there a low signal where you are?”

“No. Or probably.” Dilara swallows, only half-aware of what she’s saying, the rest of her mind preoccupied with Taehyung’s head between her legs, his tongue finding its way along her wetness, down to her clit. “I’m just - oh - just… agreeing with you.” Her toes curl on the sheets as shivers start forming from her feet up her legs.

“Yeah? About what?”

“About the - about… what we were talking about. About Chris, and the - oh, God!” She squeezes her eyes shut as Taehyung sucks suddenly at her clit, without warning.

Kaya gasps. “Oh, my God. Is - is Taehyung with you?”

Dilara is starting to unravel. “I - in a sense,” she admits, snaking her other hand down to run it through his thick hair and lifting her hips up slightly. 

“Oh, God!” she exclaims, sounding horrified. “You know what? Call me when you’re… done,” she says quickly, before hanging up.

Dilara nods absently, eyes fluttering shut and letting the phone fall from her hand as Taehyung devours her, one hand firm around her thigh and the other coming up to slide into her folds, brushing over her clit while his tongue stays inside her. She’s in danger of being overstimulated but it’s so sweet, so electric that the sharp sensation only flows through the rest of her body.

“Yes, yes, right there…” 

The orgasm is right there, within reach. A few more seconds of relentless tongue action while she cries out for him not to stop and it crashes over her like a wave of the ocean, her back arched and head thrown back on the pillow as he licks her through it, not letting her go even for a moment until she stutters his name.

“Come - come here,” she murmurs, head spinning and stars in her eyes as he emerges, hair dry but the bottom of his face slick with her juices. Wiping his mouth conspicuously on the back of his hand, he towers over her, eyes dark as he watches her catch her breath.

She raises her arms and he lowers himself to kiss her. The aftershocks of her orgasm are still fading away; she lets him pull her close, loving the feel of his naked body against hers, knowing for certain now that he’d seen her earlier today when she’d clicked a picture with that group of fans. Those many men, that much exposed skin and the close proximity in which they’d all surrounded her - it was just enough for a reaction.

“Hey, beautiful,” he murmurs, pulling away but staying close. He props his head up on his palm and smiles down at her, a little satisfied.

“Hey,” she says, her breathing slowly returning back to normal. “I think you just rocked my world.”

Taehyung’s smile gets wider but he visibly tries to suppress it, tossing his hair out of his eyes. “My pleasure. Must be because I’m your type, no?”

It takes Dilara a moment to realise what he’s referring to. “Oh. That.” She chuckles. “Totally my type,” she agrees.

“And what’s that?”

“My type? I dunno. Sexy. Romantic. Smart but not arrogant. Just a little pretentious,” she adds, grinning when he rolls his eyes. “Able to take control when he’s a little jealous,” she adds in a murmur, running a finger down his chest and reaching up to brush her lips against his. “Knowing every inch of my body better than anyone,” she finishes, kissing him again.

He kisses her back, slow and affectionate, and rolls on top of her. “So Chris isn’t your type?”

“God, no.” Dilara wrinkles her nose and Taehyung rolls off her, resuming his position on his side. “Kaya saw his picture on my Instagram and said she thought he was hot. I told her she could see for herself when she comes to London next month.”

“Chris? Wait, you told Kaya about him?” Taehyung frowns.

“Yeah… why?”

“Because he may not be your type, but he seems pretty close to Kaya’s type,” he points out.

“What?” Dilara squints. “No way.”

“Really? Tall, buff, straight hair? Korean?” He raises his eyebrows. “That doesn’t remind you of anyone we know?”

Dilara rolls her eyes. “That’s a little reductive. She can’t just go out and find another Kim Namjoon on the street, you know?”

“He doesn’t have to be Namjoon, he just has to look like him.” Shaking his head, Taehyung pulls up the picture on his phone. “You really don’t see the resemblance?”

“No. Just - okay, maybe the body structure. And the hair,” she admits uneasily. “And the voice, kind of. Okay, but that’s crazy. She’s not going to just suddenly be attracted to someone that looks like her ex to get over her break-up.” But her voice trails off slightly at the end and she looks up at Taehyung hopefully. “Right?”

Taehyung purses his lips. “Namjoon is going to kill you,” he states.

“If you let him, then we’ve got bigger problems than Kaya’s dating life,” she snaps. “Besides, you might be overthinking this, okay? They’ve never even met. All she did was see a picture and compliment him. As someone who’s on fifty thousand lockscreens at this moment, you should know that.”

Taehyung gives her an unimpressed look as her phone pings. She reaches over to see a message from Kaya.

Kaya [14:12]

Hey, whenever you’re free, can you send me your friend Chris’s number if he’s okay with it? Thanks.

Dilara stares at the screen as Taehyung reads the message out loud from over her head. “Fuck,” she mutters, dropping her head into her hands. “Namjoon is going to kill me.”

Taehyung, his lips pressed against her shoulder from where he’s peering into her phone, nods and pats her arm. “I won’t let him. I promise.”

She turns around to face him. “Really? Because I may just have driven his ex-girlfriend into the arms of - oh, my God, Lexie is going to kill me, too.” She groans and covers her face, ignoring Taehyung’s low chuckle as he pulls her to him.

“Don’t overthink,” he instructs her kindly. “Come on, go take a shower. Yoongi hyung wants us to go pick up stuff for dinner - he texted me a whole list but I got the car keys, too. I’ll take you out on a nice drive.” He slaps her backside affectionately.

Dilara sighs and sits up, swinging her legs over the bed and heading for the bathroom, untying and dropping her red bikini top on the way. Once she’s out, sand washed away and hair smelling nice, she walks back into the bedroom to see Taehyung in the exact same position she left him in, comfortably naked on his back and scrolling through his phone.

“Babe, can you charge my phone?” she asks him as she rummages through her suitcase for clothes. “I’m waiting on an email.”

“The same one?” Taehyung purses his lips sympathetically when she nods, reaching over to plug her phone into the bedside charger. “Didn’t they say they’d get back by now?”

“They said yesterday,” she complains, “although I’m hoping it’s a timezone thing and it’ll come today.” Pulling on a tank top over cotton shorts, she turns towards the mirror, finger-combing her wet curls. “Ugh, forget it,” she mutters. “They’re just going to curl by themselves anyway.”

“You look beautiful,” he says from behind her. “Always do.” He returns her smile in the mirror. “Do you want to go out now? It might help get your mind off this.”

“Yeah, it might. It’s not a big deal either way,” she adds, shrugging. “I mean, would it be good if I got it? Sure. But it’s not like it’s - wait, I think that’s it,” she breaks off quickly, spotting the notification on her phone as it lights up. She hurries across the room to the bedside table and unplugs her phone, swiping up on the screen.

“Okay…” Dilara opens it and scans through the initial text, while Taehyung sits up and pulls on his boxers, keeping his eyes on her the entire time. “Yes!” she yells in excitement. “I got it!”

“You did?”

“Yes! Calvin Klein fall campaign, in the fucking flesh,” she exclaims, her heart hammering in excitement. “Congratulations on becoming a part of the Calvin Klein family, blah blah blah… oh, here it is - the fall/winter campaign which will be launched in the month of September, celebrating a milestone of the brand… joining global ambassadors including Justin Bieber, Hailey Bieber - holy shit - Kendall Jenner, Jungkook of BTS -“ They exchange a knowing look, “Bella Hadid…” She trails off as she scans the rest of the list, something in her heart coming to a standstill.

“Lara?”

Dilara locks her phone and tucks it into her back pocket. “Nothing. It’s great.” She turns away before she can start to dissect Taehyung’s expression, the understanding settling in of the one detail neither of them had mentioned out loud since her conversation with Calvin Klein had begun.

“I’m really happy for you,” he says from behind her, voice soft and - she doesn’t want to dwell on it - slightly guilty. At that moment, there’s a knock on the door and Dilara immediately opens it to see Jungkook of BTS.

“Hey,” he says, looking a bit surprised. “Sorry to, er… interrupt. Yoongi hyung wants to marinate the meat before dinner and Namjoon hyung asked if we could also pick up some wine…” He raises his eyebrows, eyes wide. “I don’t want to go alone so do one of you want to come along?” he asks hopefully.

“Yeah,” answers Dilara, bustling around to find a pair of slippers and grabbing her bag.

“What about Jimin?” Taehyung asks, pulling on a tank top.

“Yoongi gave him a giant watermelon to cut,” snickers Jungkook. “I thought about helping him but it’s more fun this way.”

“Sounds like he needs your help more than I do,” says Dilara, glancing at Taehyung. “I can go pick up the dinner stuff. Where are the keys?”

“Um, in my shorts. But -“

Dilara picks up his tan shorts from the pile of clothes next to the bed and shakes them out to catch the set of car keys that fall out. “Text me Yoongi’s list?” she asks. “Let me know if any of you want anything else. We’ll be back in a bit.” 

Without waiting for him to nod, she exits the bedroom, shutting the door and leaving with Jungkook.

—

An hour or so later, Dilara slips into the tiny study, a glass of white wine in her hand. Namjoon glances away from his laptop and gives her a small smile, waving her inside.

“I heard you’re in the mood for wine?” she says, placing the glass next to his laptop.

“Wow, thanks.” He takes a whiff of it and nods. “I don’t know if I should be drinking while I’m working, though,” he adds, looking uneasy.

“You’re on vacation. You can have a drink. Come on, just one,” she persuades him, sliding the glass slowly towards him.

Namjoon gives her a look. “You’re a terrible influence,” he informs her, picking up the glass. “Cheers,” he says, and clinks his glass with the can of beer she’s holding. He takes a sip of the wine and sighs. “Fuck, that’s good. Are the mojito mixes in the fridge?”

Dilara pauses. “We didn’t buy mojito mixers. Shit, I knew we were forgetting something. But I can go out and get some, no problem,” she says quickly, nodding.

“Oh, hey, no. Don’t be silly,” says Namjoon, shaking his head. “It’s not a big deal. I can go out myself. Don’t worry about it.”

She nods slowly, hesitating. “Um… you okay?”

Her tone seems to indicate exactly what she’s talking about. Namjoon lowers his gaze before nodding. “Fine. I think. Just worried,” he murmurs after a moment.

Dilara stares inside her can, seeing nothing but dark. “If it makes you feel any better, I really think it wasn’t a big deal. The video made it seem a lot worse than it was.”

He bites his lip. “Yeah. That’s what she said, too.”

She nods, not really knowing what else to say. She considers leaving but then Namjoon speaks again.

“Do you talk to her?”

“M-hm.”

Namjoon’s shoulders relax a bit. “How is she?”

Dilara shrugs. “About the same as you, I think.” When all he does is scoff softly and look away, she abandons her plan to leave him alone. “Can I just ask…” She waits until he looks back up at her, giving her permission, “... is it worth it? Leaving, for her sake?”

To her surprise, Namjoon doesn’t answer immediately. “I don’t know yet,” he admits. “She’s been hurt before. And there’s a reason idols don’t talk about dating. Ever. It used to be out of obligation but now… it just makes more sense to keep that part of your life private. We don’t do it for fun; we do it because it’s just better that way. I can’t let her get hurt again,” he says quietly, lowering his head.

“But she didn’t get hurt,” points out Dilara. “They didn’t do anything to her.”

He looks like he’s about to argue but then thinks the better of it. “It’s not a chance I want to take.”

As much as she thinks he’s trying to convince himself more than her regarding his break-up, a different part of his spiel occurs to Dilara. Absently, she reaches for the white-gold ring around her neck, the metal warm from the sun outside. 

“I’m sure you know what you’re doing,” she ventures carefully, “but I just hope you don’t regret it. Either of you.”

“You think I might?”

I think you are. But Dilara knows she would never say that out loud to Namjoon. “I think… that when Taehyung and I broke up, the most difficult part of it was going back to normal.”

He tilts his head. “How long did it take?”

“Not long at all. That was what was difficult about it. We lived in different countries, had completely different circles, so going back to normal… it took a surprisingly short amount of time,” she says, observing the point dawning on him. “Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t happy, but… honestly, if it weren’t for the Red Bull and BTS partnership and living with him and having him in my space every single day for two months, begging me to take him back… I don’t know if we’d be together right now.”

“No offence, but I think you and Taehyung are a little more dramatic than most,” he points out.

She shrugs sheepishly. “Fair enough. If you recall, I did date an arsehole mechanic just to get back at Tae.”

The silence that follows is still. Dilara suddenly remembers Kaya asking for Chris’s number and her heart jolts in anxiety, but then she puts that out of her mind; there is no way Namjoon can possibly know about that. 

“You know what,” she says after a moment, more to break the silence than anything, “I’m going to go get those mojito mixes right now, so we can put them in the fridge.”

“Wait, you don’t have to do that,” he starts to say, but she shakes her head and walks backwards out of the room.

“It’s no problem. Really. I like driving,” she adds, holding up the keys and smiling. “It’s my fault we forgot them, anyway. I was distracting Jungkook with a really bad impression of Batman. But it’s okay, I got it.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “It’s really hot outside.”

“Good thing the car and the store are air conditioned.” She steps out the door and peeks in one last time. “No mistake is so bad that it can’t be fixed.”

—

Taehyung enters the open kitchen, hands in his pockets, to see Dilara, Jungkook and Yoongi putting away groceries. Yoongi is holding up a packet of meat and muttering something to Jungkook in Korean, while Dilara is pouring out glasses of something light pink.

She notices him first. “Hey,” she says, holding his gaze for a moment before looking away.

“Hey,” he  murmurs, not paying attention to the other two. He’s about to stand beside her but thinks better of it, opting to stand opposite her instead with the counter between them. “You were gone for a while.”

“I had to run back and get mojito mixers. Forgot them the first time.” She finishes pouring a glass and slides it in front of him. “We got pink lemonade,” she says, sucking a bit off her thumb and turning around to place the carton back in the fridge.

Taehyung leans forward on the counter and observes her in silence, knowing he can’t say anything to her while Yoongi and Jungkook are here. 

As if on cue, Jungkook seems to notice him just then. “Hyung! Did Dilara tell you the good news? About Calvin Klein?”

Taehyung doesn’t answer immediately; he notices Dilara stiffen momentarily but continuing to move things around in the fridge. “Yep, I was there when she got the email,” he says. “It’s fantastic.”

He doesn’t think Jungkook would’ve put two and two together, and neither does he think Dilara would’ve even mentioned the elephant in the room that had existed since she’d first told Taehyung about Calvin Klein considering her.

“Jungkook,” says Yoongi after a moment. “Come help me with something.”

“What?”

“Just come.” Tugging him by the t-shirt, he leads Jungkook out of the kitchen.

Left alone, Taehyung keeps watching his girlfriend. As though feeling his eyes on her, she closes the fridge and turns around.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you I was going out again.”

“It’s okay,” he says softly. He takes a sip of the lemonade and almost gags; it’s almost sickly sweet. Looking up to see her raising her eyebrows, he clears his throat. “It’s nice. Syrupy.”

She frowns, seeming partly amused. “I, uh… I talked to Namjoon,” she says.

“Really?” Taehyung is surprised; he didn’t think Dilara was the type to confront Namjoon about his personal life. Much as she admired him, he was sure the leader also intimidated her a little.

“Yeah. I wasn’t going to but he seemed really down and, I don’t know…” She shrugs, going back to unpack the two remaining brown bags of groceries. “You know, I was going through a break-up last year, too,” she says innocently, “and he gave me a lot of advice about how to deal with my ex-boyfriend at the time.”

“Interesting,” says Taehyung seriously, moving around the counter to help her with the groceries. “Tell me more.” He glances at her out of the corner of his eye to see half a smile creep up on her face.

“No way,” she says instead. “That was a private conversation, and it’s going to stay that way.”

“What?” he exclaims in mock-outrage. “No, you know what? Whatever he said, it seems like it worked for me. Or… this mysterious… sexy, romantic ex of yours that’s your type apparently,” he quips, his stomach flipping when she rolls her eyes but smiles anyway.

“I don’t know if I agree with him,” she says after a moment. “She told me he broke up with her because he thought she wasn’t safe with him. And he said that that’s why celebrities - specifically, idols -,” she points out, “- don’t talk about their relationships and flat-out lie to the press when asked. But how is that even a relationship then? If you’re just hiding your partner and not willing to actually deal with all that crap?”

“I wouldn’t lie.” Taehyung says it in a matter-of-fact way, watching as she stops a few feet away from him. 

“What do you mean?”

“I wouldn’t hide you,” he clarifies. She’s giving him a look he’s seen before, one he knows always appears when he says something she calls “declarations”. Her eyes go soft and a hint of a smile flickers across her cheeks, as if to say that even though she knows it can’t be true, she wishes it would. He simultaneously loves it and becomes a bit self-conscious over it.

“Aren’t we hiding right now?”

“We’re keeping our personal life private,” he corrects her. “That’s not the same thing. I wouldn’t hide you.”

“Huh. You really wouldn’t?” she asks, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

He shakes his head, coming up behind her and placing his hands on her hips. “Never,” he murmurs, kissing her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her waist. He rests her forehead on her shoulder; the fact that she hasn’t shrugged him off or moved away is a good sign, but she isn’t quite leaning back into him either.

Did Dilara tell you the good news? Taehyung wonders if Jungkook thinks that he and Dilara would be actually working together, if any of the ambassadors or celebrities in the shoot would be. He doesn’t care about any of them, but he can’t imagine taking away from Dilara’s excitement about getting the campaign. Squeezing her waist tighter, he pulls her close.

“Prove it.”

He raises his head slightly. “Come again?”

“Prove it,” she repeats, turning around in his arms and stepping away slightly so she’s leaning back against the counter.

“You want to go public?” he asks sceptically. “Are you sure?”

“Well… not public,” she amends, “but maybe your fans should know, right?”

“Your fans don’t know about me,” he points out.

“No, but they know I’m not single.” Dilara tilts her head, a glint of a challenge in her eyes. “No pressure… but you did bring it up.” She reaches up and kisses him on the cheek before patting his shoulder and leaving, giving him a wave before disappearing around the corner.

—

It’s almost dinner time when Namjoon wakes up from in front of the laptop where he’d dozed off while working.

“Damn it,” he mutters, checking the time. He trudges straight into the bathroom and into the shower, the cool water helping him wake up at this unusual hour. He’s looking forward to dinner; he feels weak and low on energy and despite being on tour, he intends to eat well tonight.

He doesn’t check his phone again, not until he’s dressed and downstairs where everyone else is gathering and helping themselves to drinks. He gratefully accepts a mojito from a smiling Dilara and clinks his glass with hers.

“Where’s Taehyung?”

“He’s doing a live upstairs,” she answers. “Something about switching with Hoseok while he’s in Seoul.”

Namjoon nods, noting the change in schedule no one thought to tell him about. If Taehyung is online today, then Hoseok would have to do a live at least once before the next concert, meaning he and Yoongi could take a break for at least another week or two…

“Holy shit!”

Everyone turns to where Jimin is staring into his phone, mouth open and half-laughing. “What is it?” Yoongi asks.

“Taehyung just -” Apparently unable to finish his sentence, he shakes his head and passes the phone to Seokjin next to him, laughing in disbelief. He points to something and Seokjin raises his eyebrows.

“Idiot,” he mutters, passing the phone over to Yoongi and Jungkook. Namjoon walks over with a frown and peers into the phone over their shoulders, apparently immediately seeing whatever it is - and looking straight up at Dilara, the frown deepening.

“What is it?” she asks doubtfully, for she’d presumed it was something to do with their work. “Is everything okay?”

Namjoon bites his lip and opens his mouth, as if to say something, but then shakes his head. “You tell me,” he mutters, reaching over to hand her the phone.

A bit hesitant, Dilara takes it and immediately scans the screen. It’s a tweet with a video embedded; it’s Taehyung on a live - this live, wearing the same open-collared white linen shirt he’d been wearing half an hour ago - staring into the camera and speaking softly in Korean, looking more handsome than ever. There’s a SZA song playing in the background and a moment later, he turns up the volume and slides his chair back, bopping his head slightly to the music and running his hands through his thick hair.

He looks magnificent; it takes Dilara a moment to remember that his good looks can’t be the reason the rest of the guys displayed such a reaction. She frowns as he gives a faint smile to the camera, gaze boring into the lens, and leans to the side to pick up something from the ground, giving a clear view of one half of their room including - Dilara squints - a pain red bikini top on the bed.

“What did you do?” 

Namjoon’s deep voice of exasperation jerks her out of her train of thought, which is just beginning to make sense of this. She looks up to see Taehyung jogging down the steps in the same white linen shirt and matching shorts, his hands casually in his pockets.

“What?” He looks around, frowning slightly at everyone’s gaze on him. “What’s happening?”

“No way you didn’t know.” Jimin shakes his head, looking terribly amused, and gestures for Dilara to give him the phone. She does silently, her eyes not leaving Taehyung’s face.

He watches the video expressionlessly, only raising his eyebrows at the very end. He hands the phone back to Dilara, catching her eye for a moment.

“You are going to be in so much trouble,” says Jimin, looking borderline thrilled at the prospect of it.

“It’s about time,” remarks Yoongi dryly, refilling his glass with wine. “Taehyung hasn’t caused a scandal in a while.”

“When have I ever caused a scandal?”

“No one’s going to get in trouble,” says Namjoon loudly, cutting through the chatter. “But… yeah, the company’s not going to approve of it.”

“Huh.” Taehyung bites his lip and nods. “Well, nothing we can do about it now, I guess.”

“We can get the video taken down,” suggests Jungkook. “It’s on Weverse, right?”

“Won’t everyone have taken screenshots and recordings by now, though?” Dilara asks, continuing to look at Taehyung.

“Yeah, probably,” sighs Namjoon, scrolling through his own phone.

“Top ten most irresponsible moments,” pipes up Seokjin, shaking his head exaggeratedly.

“Yeah, Taehyung, this was a careless move,” adds Jimin instantly, jumping on the train.

“You should be thankful Dilara didn’t show up anywhere in the video,” Namjoon tells him. At that, everyone turns to look at her, as though waiting for her reaction.

“Oh, uh - yeah, it’s - it’s so irresponsible,” she states, biting her lip to keep from smiling when Taehyung turns to her, eyebrows raised, hands on his hips. “But… I don’t really mind.”

Taehyung nods with narrowed eyes, still giving no indication as to the turn of events that led to this. Everyone else seems to be vaguely disappointed with her reaction; she supposes they were expecting some sort of dramatic fight.

Everyone drifts off after that, once it’s clear that the matter is more or less closed. There’s some chatter in different languages, largely debating between pre-gaming and going out, or staying in and watching a movie. Dilara finds she doesn’t really care; she stays out of the conversation, silently accepting a casual kiss on the head from Taehyung as he saunters away to the living room with the others.

“Mojito?” Namjoon offers her. “I tried my best,” he adds apologetically when she takes a sip and winces.

“No, it’s just really strong,” she sputters, eyes watering a bit. “Is this how strong you take it?”

“Sometimes,” he answers simply, but offers no more on the subject. “Are you okay? With this?”

From his partly curious tone, she takes it “this” is referring to Taehyung’s possibly accidental-on-purpose mishap with the live and the red bikini top.

“Yeah, I guess,” she answers, pouring some more mixer into her glass and stirring it. “Not like we got caught snogging or something. It’s pretty circumstantial. Do you really think he’ll get in trouble with the company?”

“Not trouble, really. Like you said, it’s circumstantial. Doesn’t prove anything.”

Dilara chooses to ignore that. “That’s good.”

“It is,” he agrees. “But you never know. Things can escalate.”

Dilara glances at him as he picks out the mint leaf from his drink. It suddenly occurs to her that this may be hitting a little close to home.

“It’s… precarious,” she admits after a moment. “But it doesn’t really change anything. Not with us, I mean.” 

Namjoon nods, eyes still on his drink. “Well,” he says at last, “that’s good for you, I guess.” He meets her eyes briefly before giving her a small nod and starting to move away.

“Kaya,” blurts out Dilara, watching as he slowly turns around, “is getting published. An excerpt from her thesis - I forgot what it was called -”

“Behavioural Economics in Decision-making,” says Namjoon, nodding and smiling. His dimple appears out of nowhere and catches Dilara by surprise. “That’s amazing. Tell her… tell her congratulations from me, the next time you talk to her?”

He’s actually asking, Dilara realises. She’s about to agree, but at the last second, she looks up at him knowingly. “I’m not telling her anything,” she says, somewhat regretting it when Namjoon nods in acceptance. “You can. You should. She’s happy about it. She and her friends went out to celebrate and everything.”

“Yeah? She tell you that?”

“Not everything,” she admits. “I saw it on Instagram. Which means it’s probably a big deal.”

“Point taken.” Namjoon raises his free hand as Dilara waves at him before walking back into the living room to join the others. He swallows, not sure why the lump is appearing in his throat again. She’s happy about it, apparently. That’s what he wanted. That’s what he wants.

He should congratulate her. Slipping out of the kitchen, he heads to the room he’s sharing with Yoongi and shuts the door behind him, scrolling through his contacts. A notification appears on the top of his screen and he clicks it out of habit. Ignoring the actual subject of the message, he navigates to Kaya’s Instagram, second in his Search results.

Namjoon finds the pictures immediately; it’s the latest album she’s uploaded, consisting of three pictures of a group of people at a nicely-lit restaurant. He absently leans against the desk, missing her so immensely that he feels like his heart could crumble.

Kaya looks beautiful - and tired. But a happy tired, as though she’s worked for months burning the midnight oil and finally given herself a night off. He scans the rest of the people in the first picture; mostly peers from her program, some of whom he’s met before. He swipes right to see a solo picture of her with her glasses on and shifting her hair, followed by a third picture with the entire group around the table, all holding their drinks up towards the camera.

It’s obviously taken by someone else, perhaps a waiter or a passerby. Kaya is a couple of chairs away from the centre, in between her friend Alex - and Adam.

For a moment, his brain doesn’t know how to react. She’s sitting next to him, and smiling - but there are six other people at the table, too. Her thesis advisor went to her celebration dinner. Her thesis advisor that hit on her, slept with her and sees her every day, went to her celebration dinner.

Namjoon bites his lip, feeling his mind about to turn a corner it shouldn’t, for it wouldn’t help anyone. But it’s too close by, just within reach. With the minor buzz of the two mojitos he’s had, his intrusive thoughts take over. He swallows and grits his teeth, regretting it instantly - but it’s too late, for he can see it now: Kaya, Kaya with him, naked and glorious, eyes closed, kissing him, being pleasured by him - 

His bedroom door opens loudly, making a couple of people in the living room jerk in surprise.

“Jungkook,” he says gruffly, “you’re carrying your old phone with you?”

“Uh, yeah,” answers Jungkook, standing up slowly. “You need it?”

When Namjoon nods wordlessly, Jungkook gets to his feet and jogs to his room to retrieve his old Samsung, the one he’d brought on tour before buying a new one in London, Namjoon following him.

As Jungkook leads him to his room, he peers surreptitiously into his leader’s room, frowning slightly when he sees his phone on the ground by the wall in three pieces, the screen shattered.

—

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to leave a review :)

[hoseoksluna]

BOOKWORMS | knj

pairing: boyfriend!namjoon x reader

genre: smut; fluff

word count: 4.4k

summary: namjoon thinks of you when he reads a smut scene in his book.

warnings: boyfriend namjoon!!!, kimi namijoon reading, mentions of sex (riding), oral sex (f. receiving), nipple play, the importance of consent, teasing, raw sex, breeding kink <3, big dick namu!!, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, joonie's chain dangling in ur face, tummy bulge, creampie, bruising, hickeys, aftercare:(

note: it took blood, sweat and tears (hehe) to write this and i'm so happy it's finally here!! i loved writing about namjoon. he's my whole soul and the entirety of my heart and i have to write abt him again soon. please take your time reading this and enjoy urself! let me know what you think in the comments mwah (or tell me anonymously in my inbox) and as i always say please like and if u want to - reblog, but i won't pressure u baby. love love you!!

side note: if you want to jump straight to the smut, it's right under the asterisks &lt;;3

You revel, you truly do, in seeing your boyfriend in such a serene state of mind. 

Nose buried in a book, Namjoon pays no mind to the surroundings fleeting by him with each flutter of his eyelashes. It goes unnoticed by him, strangely so, how you tidy up the apartment you share. How you feed the two cats that chose you and him to be their human parents. How you fondle their soft ears. How you bend over the furniture to whisper ‘pspsps’ at them when they need a moment away from you just to see their round eyes look up at you stupidly. Namjoon usually observes these moments; this utmost natural behavior of yours. He draws strength from the homeliness of it all with each and every swell of his lungs. Needs it to survive. That is until he gets a hold of that one papery portal and sits comfortably on the couch, one ankle propped over the knee. Then, he ceases to exist in this world. 

You’re happy for him. Over time, you’ve come to find that you have a certain fondness for the way he remains stoic. Because you always know what kind of book he’s reading, a smile blossoms on its own over the line of your lips whenever your eye catches the sculpture-like look on his face. It’s like even if he let himself hold his breath, his consciousness would waver back to the earth and the wretched awareness that he’s here, among mortals and the unfair capitalist system aftermath, would stream in his bloodstream, poisoning his experience. It takes the leisure out of it and makes the bed for misery instead. He doesn’t like it. Hates it, in fact. It’s a necessity that he focuses, as he embarks on the journey, because he does it for you.

Namjoon confides in his feelings and his literature with you almost on a daily basis. On the same couch, with the same cats snoring faintly, their small bodies spilling over the perimeter of your tangled legs. Doesn’t matter if it’s his thigh or the curve of your hip. The animals always find a warm crook to doze in, eavesdropping in, with their curious little ears, on the conversations you’re having. Though you reckon they like the meat of his thigh the best. You do, too. Can’t really blame them. The same serenity that intimately knows the person of Namjoon perceives the person of you when he prompts you to rest your head on his lap while he brushes his book-kissed fingers through the silky waterfall of your hair. Thoroughly explains the intricacies of the plot he’s invested in to you. Describes the characters as if they’re real people he’s become acquainted with. They are real to you as you listen. As you ask additional questions and gaze up at his eyes just to catch that one body of a shooting star fiery hot in the glossiness of his eyes. As you wonder, openly, what will happen to them.

“I’ll tell you when they tell me.” He sunk the promise onto the smooth skin of your forehead with the pucker of his lips.

It’s how you discovered, in all seriousness, that the plaster of his stoicism breaks during these literary moments.

Various colors of emotion tug and twist his features, the bare kind. The unrestrained kind. You know it’s a relief for him when the dam bursts open, soaking you in the beauty of humanness one only finds in literature these days. You can’t help but fall in love with him all over again when his eyebrows furrow. When his orbs nearly burn a hole in the ceiling when he’s trying to think of the right word that will ultimately help him convey the unfolding of the storyline. When he gives up and weaves English into his sentences, relying on his hands to say what his overstimulated brain fails to do. 

He reads to pass knowledge to you. The serenity whispered it into the chambers of your heart, a puff of hot breath in winter’s cold. It soothingly rubbed his shoulders when Namjoon told you there used to be a time when he couldn’t stand the sight of his books lining up the walls of his apartment. Wanted to burn it down and watch as the evidence of his melancholy dies in front of him. Because that’s what most of his book collection consisted of back then. The innermost shadowy faces of his pain. Loneliness. Sadness. Despair from life, from it not being enough for him, from it not saving a spot there for him–not once throughout the course of his life. That’s why he reads different kinds of books now. Ones that do not reflect his survival before you.

The reader has to get wiser, ruffled by life in order to gain more, gain what they need from those once deeply loved pages. It’s what the serenity believes. It’s what you believe and hope for Namjoon. That one day, somehow by the healing of the love you give him, he will look back and pick a souvenir from that moonless country of pain. Put it up somewhere between the spines of his new cluttered collection. Look at it from time to time and sense that it’s telling him something. Something that will fill the stitched-up cracks in his heart with sunlight. Something that he will pass over to you. It’s your love language after all. Namjoon reads because you read. It’s his own personal healing thing. 

You two are just a pair of two bookworms. Unfit for the world outside. Fit for the land you two created. Whose soil you take care of together.

***

Dinner is almost ready by the time you feel his fingertips gripping your hips. You hum, acknowledging his presence. Glad for the homely heat that radiates off of his body and seeps into your bones as you stir the risotto you decided to make on the stove. Coldness had been embracing you all day while he read so you’re overjoyed that he ripped it away from you.

Namjoon places a kiss on your temple and you sigh in relief. You might be too dependent on him, but so is he. He wouldn’t be nuzzling his face in your hair, squeezing your waist, peppering kisses on your tender skin if he wasn’t. It’s the perfect balance. And it’s not that you’re not able to be away from each other. The principle of looking forward to one another is what makes it so sweet, so endurable for the pair of you. Of the coming back and coming into contact at the end of the day. It’s natural. Simple. Human.

“Missed me?” Namjoon husks into your ear. 

You smirk and turn off the stove, turning around to face him. “Terribly.”

His body is clad in a black T-shirt that fits his broad figure well and a pair of baggy sweats of the same color, having discarded the warm crewneck he was wearing earlier somewhere in the universe of his book. A long silver chain twinkles in the middle of his chest in the yellow light. You caress it with your fingers and leave your palm there, on the hardness of his pecs. 

“I finished the book,” he says and you blink up at him. You’re not surprised at all. “Couldn’t put it down.”

Sleepy wrinkles have left their mark on his face from the cozy position he laid in for too long on the couch. His short sunlit hair, grown healthily from his military service, is tousled in all directions and you smooth it down for him. How did God bless you with such a beautiful man is something you’ll wonder about for the rest of your life. 

“What happened to Theo in the end?” you ask, genuinely curious about whether one of the characters you’ve grown attached to is okay after all the shit the author put him through. 

Namjoon was reading a coming-of-age book about a boy named Theo. A panorama of his childhood and adolescent life, you’ve heard all about it. Namjoon cared a lot about this story, cared a lot about the protagonist’s emotions and reactions to the reappearing storms. What made him stick with it, despite the nearly triggering themes, is the fact that Theo never let go of his optimism no matter what. It was incredibly inspiring for Namjoon. Something new. Something that he never thought could be possible. You’re proud of him for daring to read a book so reminiscent of his past.

“You’re not gonna believe it,” Namjoon says, a blush creeping along his cheeks.

You raise one of your eyebrows in question. 

“Theo got laid,” Namjoon reveals, laughing softly. “I’m so happy for him.”

You gasp and burst into giggles. “What?”

“He got some!” 

Your laughter rises in volume. “He lost his virginity and that’s the end?”

“It was a big moment for him. A triumph of some kind. Like he shed his old skin and left that broken life behind. It was amazing.” Namjoon’s eyes glint with tiny shooting stars and you melt. He always finds poetic meanings in the varieties of the character arcs. You think you just fell in love with him all over again. 

“That’s really beautiful,” you admit. It reminds you of something. Of something quite personal. “My first time with you changed my life as well.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows curl in tenderness. Dragon eyes widen and round in fervent emotion. He squeezes his arms around you, enfolding you in a hug. Kisses you warmly. Strokes your hair down your back. Your own eyes pool with little tears with the intimate knowledge that you chose the right person to unfold your raw femininity with. No one, no man other than him could have created such a safe for that to happen.

“Tell you what,” Namjoon says a bit hoarsely. “I saw us in it.”

You hum, encouraging him to continue. Crave for more of his thoughts and confidential findings. Its fire spreading through your body, as each word of his registers in your brain, always makes you feel phenomenally alive. You’re not timid to avow that it’s your addiction. Shame doesn’t know you.

“Elena was on top and he was watching her. In awe of her,” he murmurs, caressing your cheek with the tip of his thumb. “Made me think of our last time. A life changing experience of mine as well.”

You welcome the fire and suspire with sudden desire, eyes lidding. Your heart begins to thump. Namjoon studies your reaction. 

“You remember well, don’t you?” He nudges his nose against yours. “I was in awe of you just the same.” 

It’s impossible not to remember. The memory consumes your mind every waking hour. Gets you needy in ways you haven’t felt before. Namjoon had you sat on his lap among the fluffiness of your innumerable pillows and plushies. Had you do all the work as he focused on the sleekness of your freshly moisturized calves, its coconut aroma interfused with the scent of sex and the euphony of your bounces, ragged breaths and broken moans making his head all fucked up. He was loud himself, more loud than you ever recalled him being. Reading your body at the mercy of the pleasure his hard length was giving you with his bottom lip sucked between his teeth. Not once did he take his eyes off of you, not once did he help you. Just gripped your calves. Your thighs. Your tits all in his face. Only when you came hard, out of your own delightful merit, did his eyes roll back. You left his hips glazed with the evidence of your well-deserved orgasm, a porcelain statue made glossy.

A little later, during your pillow talk, he told you he’d found the idea of you using him while getting yourself off extremely hot. Made him more hard than he’d been in a while. Begged you to be even more selfish next time, adding an indistinct, ‘well, of course, if you want’ to the end of his sentence because he’s Namjoon.

“I do,” you breathe. “Touched myself to it this morning while you were still asleep.”

Namjoon groans. “God.” He kisses the side of your neck. Gets close to your ear. “You wanna do it again, hm? Wanna fuck me?” 

You might burst. His closeness, his heat, his need to ask for your consent turns you unstable. You’re choked up on your words, mind too fuzzy to say something. Turned on. Fucked up.

“You wanna show me how you touched yourself?” Namjoon continues, but you shake your head against the side of his face. 

You had touched yourself in the shower. Couldn’t say no to the impulse. Sharing that part of you for his eyes to see isn’t something you’re quite ready for. To you, it’s still something that’s yours. Something private. A courage you have yet to pluck up. You’re afraid to give him this last part of your femininity.

“Not today,” you whisper, planting a kiss on his neck. Feel him shiver. “I’m sorry. Do you mind?”

Withdrawing from your neck, Namjoon looks you dead in the eye, brows twisted in stern seriousness. “Don’t ever apologize for something like that again. Hear me when I say that.”

You squeeze his shoulder, the corners of your mouth lowering in a pout. Thankfulness grips your heart and suddenly it’s hard to breathe. 

“You know this is why we do this right?” he asks you. “Why I ask you these questions? I need to always know what you’re comfortable with so I don’t make a mistake.”

You nod. “Yes, Namjoon, I know and I’m so thankful.”

“Good. I’ll never push you to do anything you don’t want. Don’t forget that, okay?”

“Okay, I won’t.” 

“That’s my girl. 

You grab him by the back of his neck and engulf him in a hug. Luckiest girl in the world? That you are. The fact that you’re his is still something you can’t wrap your head around.

“We can stop. We don’t even have to do anything tonight—”

“No, Namjoon.” You withdraw. “Look.” Wrapping your hand around his wrist, you slip his hand beneath the confines of your panties. 

His breath shakes when he reaches your soaked folds. He traces your hole with his middle finger and your hips follow his movement, the pleasure so faint but so good that you flutter your eyes closed.

“Fuck, baby.” 

“Yeah, I need you. Need more,” you breathe out. “Can’t leave me like this, can you?”

Namjoon hums. “No, I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of this pussy.” 

He kisses you. Massages his tongue against yours. You buck your hips into his hand and Namjoon hears your body language. Takes his fingers up and rubs your swollen clit from side to side, quickening his pace as he swallows your moans down his throat. Gets angry at your tight leggings hindering him in giving you more, so he gets on his knees and swiftly pulls them down along with your underwear. 

“Sit on the counter.”

You comply right away. Namjoon takes your feet in his hands and gently removes your slippers, removing your garments fully so they don’t pool around your ankles. He needs your legs spread and he needs them spread wide for what he’s about to do to you. 

Torso long enough to reach you, he remains on his knees. Runs his hands up the back of your thighs to guide you into the position he wants you in. “Lock your arms around the back of your knees. Don’t let go.”

You do as he says, biting your lips in nervousness. Intertwine your hands together. Prepare yourself to die. 

Namjoon studies your dewy pussy, index and middle finger mimicking the letter V as he slides them up and down your folds, squeezing just right to hear you mewling. Your knees being so close together makes her look a lot more pillowy and you hear Namjoon breathe hard, absolutely hypnotized by the beauty of your flesh. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re dripping down my hand.” He withdraws his fingers to show you how your slick trickles down the lines on his palm, changing the course of his life once and for all. 

Your clit throbs, breath matching his. “Please, Namjoon.”

He curses inaudibly. Brings his fingers back down to your folds, squeezes your lips and your clit together. Hisses at the sweet whimpery sounds spilling out of your mouth. Presses tighter so you whine needily for him. Takes you into his mouth when he accomplished what he wanted, tonguing your clit in slow agonizing circles that has you buckling your hips again. Puts his hands on your thighs to keep you down, flicking fast to absolutely abuse the fuck of you. Dragon eyes zeroing on yours, he gives you the hypnosis that your pussy did to him as he sucks on your bundle of nerves. You can’t even scream. Can’t breathe. The pleasure overwhelms you wholly and straps you down. There’s nothing you can do but take it. 

You come hard on his tongue. Namjoon laps it all up gladly. And when he’s finished, he stands up and slips those two digits that ruined you into your hole. Doesn’t move them. Lets you adjust instead.

“One more,” he mutters. “Please.”

You nod.

“Use your words or we’re stopping.”

You groan and close your eyes, your thighs visibly shaking in your iron grip from your orgasm. “Yes, Namjoon, one more. I’ll come for you.”

Namjoon places a wet kiss on your thigh to praise you, and to thank you as well. Begins to move his fingers promptly, but can’t seem to get enough of your skin. Proceeds to make it shiny with his liquid love, sucking it to bruise you. To remember this moment a little more fondly in the morning. 

Creating a trail up to the back of your knee, his digits pick up the speed. The pool of slick you left in his palm sloshes with each rapid thrust of his hand. He looks back at you and sees you lost in the pleasure, eyes lidded and unfocused. “Look at me.” 

You do, weakly.

“Just a little bit more and I’ll fuck you, all right?”

You’re about to nod, but decide against it. “Mhm, yes, Namjoon, fuck.” 

He smiles down at you. Your relief inches closer. “I’m so proud of you for speaking up today. For letting me know.” 

You could cry right now. Because of his fingers making you feel so good. Because of his kindness making you feel so safe. It all closes in on you and you whimper. 

Abruptly, Namjoon unravels your grip on your knees and kisses you, tongue slipping in. You come all over his hand, without meaning to, and he doesn’t stop. On the contrary, Namjoon fucks you harder. Takes all four of his fingers and strums your clit, prolonging your orgasm, swallowing down all of your moans. 

“Come on.”

Namjoon helps you down. If it weren’t for his arms holding you steady, you would’ve collapsed on the floor. Your legs shake, muscles taut and tense. 

“I got you.”

Sat on the floor with his joggers and boxers pulled beneath his crotch, he pulls you down on his lap. A wisp of precum adorns his tip and you wrap your hand around it, collecting it with your thumb. Watch him as you swirl your tongue around the digit before sucking on it, letting go with an obscene pop. Namjoon licks his lips, hands clasping your hips hard enough to bruise you. Twitches in your other hand.

“Don’t fucking do that to me, baby.” 

You laugh almost inaudibly, drunk on him. “Are you gonna come in me?” 

He replaces your hand, holding his length at the base for you to sink down. And you do, gasping softly at his thickness. Your dewiness helps it to be a smooth ride.

“Gonna pump you full. Leave you dripping,” he promises, voice restrained. “Gonna fuck you so good you’ll remember it for the rest of your life.” 

One thing about Namjoon, he’s a man of his word. 

Seated perfectly on him, he waits for you to adjust. Alleviates the tremble of your thighs with his palms, massaging the muscles. Takes off your shirt and flings it across the kitchen. Gropes your tits, rolling your nipples between his fingers. You start to grind on him, throwing your head back. He latches onto your nipple and flicks the nub with his tongue. You lose your mind, leaking down his balls. 

“Ready?” he asks against the fullness of your breast. 

“Yeah, fuck me, Joon.” 

He thrusts into you once to watch you fall apart. Locks your arms behind your back. Grabs your forearms for his use.

“You forgot something.”

He thrusts again, harder this time.

“What?” you breathe out, meekly. 

“What word do you use when you want to ask for something?”

He watches you as you work it out in your brain. Fucks into you three more times, equally hard, to disrupt you. 

“Fuck, sorry. Please, Joon, please.”

He grinds, hips rotating in circles. 

“Uh-huh, that’s right. Now use it.” 

Namjoon envelops your tit in his mouth, swirling his tongue around your areola. Sucking. Keeping up the agonizing pace. Groaning when you clench down on him. 

“Please, hmph, fuck me.”

Your breast bounces back when he lets go, biting his lip. “Knew you could do it,” he coos. “Smart fucking girl.” 

He begins to fuck you properly. Thrusting up and down as he holds you steady, keeping his eyes locked on yours. As he takes control of your squirming, leaving his fingerprints on your forearms and waist. You’re breathless, whimpering, on the verge of sobbing. So turned on and needy for him that the emotions brim in you, threatening to spill over. 

“Aren’t you?” Namjoon continues. “Aren’t you a smart girl?” 

You nod, knowing exactly what he wants to hear. “I’m a smart girl.” 

He spanks your ass to reward you and you arch your back. Tits all in his face. He’s mesmerized watching them bounce and nearly slap against each other, nubs hard and pointed. He licks them up, flicking them with his tongue. You round your shoulders a little in pleasure, his strong grip not letting you fold like your body wants. 

“That’s right. So smart and good for me. So fucking wet. Making me lose my mind.”

Namjoon kisses you. Inhales you. Withdraws only for a mere second before he’s back, tongue in, toying with you the way you like it. You feel your relief calling your name.

“Namjoon, I’m so fucking close. I’m so close. I’m gonna come,” you whine, forehead pressed against his, face twisted in ecstasy.

Namjoon stops out of the blue and slips out of you. You whine loudly, but before you know it, he carries you to the couch and lays you down on it. Takes off all of his clothes until only his silver chain remains, shining bright in the dim light. He spreads your legs, one limb over the backrest, the other around his thigh. Grips his length and tugs at it a few times, the feeling of your wetness making him slippery pulling moan after moan out of him. 

He enters you again and resumes his fast pace, holding your calf in his hand. “Smart girls come on the couch, not on the floor like whores. You got that?” 

You nod almost too eagerly, fucked out beyond measure. “Yes, Joon, please make me come. Please, come here.” 

Namjoon leans towards you, propping his elbows by your head, cradling you. “I’m here. I’m gonna make you come.” 

From this angle, he fucks you more deeply than before, his tip reaching your cervix. You roll your eyes back, but bring them right back to his face when his chain taps you on the chin. You find it so hot that you grind your hips against his, meeting his thrusts, encouraging him to fuck you harder. The chain meets you in erratic staccatos and you scratch your nails down his bare back, the sword-like pendant hurting you in a way that you like. 

Namjoon notices. Slows down his movements. Pinches the chain from the back of his neck. Prompts you to lift your head and slides it over, letting it rest in the middle of your breasts. Then fucks you back into the couch.  

“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs against your lips. “Gonna breed you. Hm. You want that, don’t you?”

The cord tightens in your lower belly. The bulge of where his tip is hitting you nudges him in his stomach and he looks down. Curses. 

“Look.” 

You follow his eyes and moan. “Namjoon, Namjoon, please come in me. I’m so close. Wanna feel you. Please.” 

He grunts, nodding his head. Licks his fingertips and presses them against your clit. Pleasures you in fast and swift jerks until you’re knocking your head back. Only when he grabs your jaw and kisses you does the cord snap, his lips being your ultimate undoing. 

Namjoon presses you down with his body, keeps you calm and collected. Kisses you all through it, your jaw, your neck, your cheeks. Then his thrusts turn sloppy and his cock twitches in you. He gives you one final hard thrusts and fills you up, groaning against your mouth.

You’re smoothing down the sting of your scratches on his back when he pulls out of you and his cum drips out of you. You wish you could see what he sees, hand on his mouth, careful to catch his drool. You push out more for him and he curses, fondling your pussy with his thumb before he pumps it back in. 

He comes back to you and kisses you. Fixes your hair. Caresses your cheek. Helps you stand on your feet as he leads you into the shower. Washes every inch of your body, heedful of the bruises he left on the back of your thigh. Lathers your hair in your favorite shampoo. Wraps you in a towel. Wanted to moisturize your body, but you told him off, knowing both of you would get horny again. You let him brush your hair, though, placing a comb in his hand. He’s gentle as he undoes the knots, then he blowdries your hair. 

And you do the same for him.

Once the pillow touches your cheeks, you’re both out like a light. 

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

BACK to masterlist

[muniimyg]

NAKED // KNJ

note to self: take baths alone from now on

+

in which nam joon takes any and every opportunity to see you naked

pairing: boyfriend nam joon + oc 

au/genre:

(new) established relationship

non-idol au

fluff, crack, and smut

warnings:

explicit langauge and behaviour ...

cockwarming & riding,, some titty grabbing & basic ass position changes

THEY SAY ILY FOR THE FIRST TIME :D

note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns

The water is colder than you expected. 

Your body reacts with goosebumps to which you let out a shiver. Maybe you took too much time getting everything ready that you missed this bath water’s prime temperature… Guess you didn’t girl-math this right. 

Oh well. 

There’s always next time, right?

Thankfully, his bare body holding yours makes it easier to adjust. He nuzzles his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist, not missing the chance to hold your breasts for a moment. You scold him as if it’s second nature and he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your neck as an apology. 

Then, you take this moment in. Honestly, setting up music was a good idea. Along with the scented candles, the bubbles in your bath, the bath lavender bath bomb, and the bath salts—all such amazing details. Everything would’ve been perfect if only Nam Joon wasn’t complaining every five seconds. 

“I hate baths.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“The bath salts went up my ass—”

Finally, you shush him.

“Please,” he cries, “can we fuck?”

Rolling your eyes, you raise your hand and flick him with your fingers. He purses his lips and shuts his eyes in response. Nam Joon sighs, feeling defeated for the nth time tonight. Prior to this bath, he had suggested shower sex. To which, you argued you’d be too afraid to try since you’re as clumsy as they come… And he himself… Well, it was nice of him to ask.

It’s not like you didn’t want to have sex tonight… No, of course, you do. Your handsome and beefy boyfriend was naked, holding you.. Who wouldn’t be turned on? You just feel like being annoying. You want to push him as far as you can. You want to see how good he stays. How well self-disciplined he is. 

So, you sink into his body again, taking another deep breath in. 

Let’s try this again.

Relax.

You want to relax. 

That’s all you want to do.

It doesn’t last. A few giggles escape your lips as he begins to place small kisses on your shoulder all the way to the sides of your face. 

“Nam Joon…” you attempt to sound annoyed.

In his low voice, he hums; “Yes, my love?”

“You’re not making me feel relaxed!” Suddenly, you squirm as he bites your shoulder playfully. “I want to—stop that! I just want to relax, Joonie! You said you wanted to join me. You insisted.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he murmurs, only half meaning his apology. No, he wasn’t sorry. He was a man, after all. What idiot would turn down being naked in a tub of water with you? Fucking losers, that’s who. 

He squishes your body closer to him. “So... is this what you do?” 

You nod.

“Is this all that you do? This is so boring. You don’t even have those ducks to play with or like a toy boat that moves—”

“Nam Joon,” you warn, groaning at how talkative he’s becoming. “You can leave. I wouldn’t mind watching you ass walk away right now.” 

He laughs in response, getting the hint. You want to relax. He wants to be with you. This was the middle ground.

“Sorry,” he means it this time. “I’m just bored.. Like, I pictured this to be more… Sexy? Aren’t you supposed to seduce me?” Nam Joon wiggles his eyebrows at you. To that, you offer him and confused look.

“Who knows? Maybe I’ve been seducing you this entire time..” you gaslight.

He lowers his gaze. “You’ve been ignoring me since the minute we settled in the tub.”

“Aren’t you turned on?”

“No.”

You smile at him warmly, yet your tone is cold. “My love, if that’s the case… Then why do I feel your dick poking in between my legs right now?” 

He gulps.

“It’s hard.”

“I thought you said it’s boring.”

Nam Joon whines, “___, my dick is hard. I’m bored. Please sit on it.”

You gasp. 

Although, you can’t say you aren’t surprised. You’ve been together for less than a year yet he has never missed a chance to suggest such acts. Most days, you’d give in and it would be a good time. But today… You figure it would be much more fun to be a tease. This mood is sponsored by your incoming period. Regardless if it’s PMS or all your stress from work; it didn’t really matter. You just knew you weren't in the mood for super wet, slippery, hot sex in cold bath water. Imagine all the water that would be splashed on the floor! You’d be the one left to clean all of it up. Nam Joon would probably slip and hurt himself if you ordered him to do the cleaning duties.

“Okay,” you tease. “I’ll sit on your dick.”

He cheers. 

“But I won’t move.”

“W-what?” Nam Joon blinks. 

You shrug, pushing yourself up on his lap. When you find his length, you quickly guide it inside of you. No warning, not even a little rub in between. Nam Joon gulps the second he feels his cock inside of you. Unlike the water, you’re so warm. He hisses, feeling his dick begin to throb inside your tight walls. 

“M-mean,” he hisses. “You’re so mean.”

Ignoring him, you sink yourself even deeper. Now, he’s fully inside you and you’re completely sitting on him. You feel his tip and how far he is inside you.. It makes your body feel tingles and you honestly contemplate if you should just give in.

He feels so good. 

… And you hate to admit it but you overestimated yourself.

You’re having a hard time too. 

Yet, you stick it through. You have to! Rare are the moments you get where Nam Joon loses complete control.

“You asked me to sit on your dick. Sure, I’ll sit on your dick… But I’m not moving. I’m not going reverse cowgirl style. I’m not going doggy. I’m not fucking you.”

“So you’re just going to cockwarm me?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “But you love riding me!”

You glare at him. “No, I don’t. It’s tiring. It’s boring.” 

Nam Joon’s eyebrows furrow together. He tries his best to focus on your words and not how perfect you are inside of him. He’s stressed as fuck but he needs to prove to you that he can get through this… He has a feeling that winning you over will get him the reward he’s been after. 

“Then why do you do it?” 

This is news to him too. You always looked like you enjoyed riding him. Honestly, you probably ride him more than you two do in any other position. Also, why would he question it? You never really complained until now. It’s one of the things he liked so much about you.. It’s like, you just knew him. 

“You love it and I love you—”

Your eyes widen.

Did you really just say that? All this time, you were worried about slipping… Who knew it wasn’t about your body but rather your words? 

You two haven’t said it to each other yet. God, this is so fucking embarrassing. In this position too? In a fucking cold ass bath? It should’ve been more romantic! Plus, he should’ve said it first! You had it all planned out.. You were going to get it out of him before you could say it first. 

As you open your mouth to deny, take back, or spit out an excuse, his words make your world stop. 

“I love you too.”

Your breath hitches. “W-what?”

“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.. For the past like… Six months but I couldn’t find the right moment. I figured one day, you’d just get it out of me yourself.” Nam Joon looks awfully shy to you right now. It makes your heart flutter. 

“I thought the same,” you confess. “I wanted you to say it first.”

“Okay,” Nam Joon chuckles, “Then I said it first.”

Your heart begins to pound louder and faster. God, was he always this good with words? In all honesty, Nam Joon has no problem being the first to yield or confess.. He just needed time. Right now, he knew it well. You’re the right person at the right time. He’s so grateful.

“I wanted it to be more romantic.”

Instantly, he dips his head and kisses you slowly. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. “A slow kiss. Romantic, right? Better?”

You shake your head. 

“You have to hold my hand when you say it,” you whine. “It only makes sense that way.”

“Then, you have to look at me,” he negotiates. “You can’t be looking the other way when I say it.”

“Fine.”

You shift, pulling his dick out for a second. You adjust yourself, opening your legs and facing him. Now, your breasts were completely in front of him. He takes slow deep breaths as you put him inside you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and tilt your head. 

God, you’re so sexy.

With or without clothes, Nam Joon thinks you’re the sexiest human to ever exist. It wasn’t because your body was perfect; it was all because of the way you carried your confidence. It was that exact something he sensed and fell into an intense trance over. Moments like these play over and over in his head when he’s away from you. Moments where he feels so close to you. Physically, this was it. There is nothing more he could ask for. 

You: naked and on top of him. 

But more than that, what makes moments like these so special is the fact that he feels like he knows your soul. Bare, imperfect and so loving. It was sexy to have someone like you. It was something he had never experienced before with past loves. This was a first for him. A first real, sexy, and beautiful love. It was more than your body—it always has been. Regardless, who is he to not try? At the end of the day, he has needs. 

“Say it.” 

He laughs as he intertwines your fingers together. He raises them above the water to show you. Bringing your hands to his lips, he looks up at you and kisses your knuckles. 

“I love you, ___.”

You pout. 

He kisses your wrist and then pulls you closer to him. He kisses your breast, your collarbone, your shoulder, your cheeks, and the corner of your lip. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m sorry it took a cold bath to get it out of me.”

“Should’ve taken a bath together sooner.”

He laughs into your kiss. “Too bad the bath salts aren’t making me feel too sexy right now,” he confesses his uncomfortability. This is his last attempt. “Unless…”

“Spit it out,” you say, unamused.

“It’s just—”

“We’re not fucking in this bath of cold water, Joon. Give it up!” you laugh as you cup his cheeks together. You squish his lips with your thumb and index, making kissy faces at him. “No more fucking around.”

His suggestive eyes suddenly soften. “Fucking? ___, I wanted to make love… Since, you know.. I love you.”

Three times.

He said, “I love you,” three times now.

And perhaps, you’re not built for this hard-to-get lifestyle when the love of your life says such dreamy things. Of course, you’d give in. As they all say; the third time’s a charm. 

You burst into laughter, unable to hold yourself back. Desperately, you kiss him for what feels like forever, and as much as you resist; you end up riding him. 

The second you move yourself up and down, Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he smiles into the kiss. He can’t believe he won you over. 

“Fucking finally… Or should I say… Finally fucking?” Nam Joon chides, liking his word play more than he should.

Nerd alert.

You grunt, “s-shut up.” 

As you two continue to make out, you begin to move your hips as you slowly but surely begin to bounce on his hard cock. It feels so good to finally do this. As you move at a faster pace, the water begins to splash and for a second, you turn your head to make sure it isn’t going to flood the floor. But Nam Joon places his hand on your chin and the top of your neck, guiding you to look at him. 

“Don’t look away,” he hisses. “It’s just water. Focus on me.”

You nod, biting the inside of your cheeks. 

For stability, you place your hands on his chest. You feel his heart and how fast it’s racing. His skin has little goosebumps due to the cold water, but you can also see sweat from his forehead lightly layer on top of his perfect skin. His eyebrows are knitted together, as he gathers all his mental strength not to cum yet. At one point, you see his lips make an ‘o’. Why was he trying so hard to last? 

“Just cum,” you assure him. “It’s fine.”

He shakes his head, refusing to give in this early. “It’s your fucking boobs,” Nam Joon blames. “Mmhff—s-shit. What the hell. Fuck it.” 

Without warning, he places his hands on your waist and lifts you up. Nam Joon gently, yet firmly, turns you over. Your chin rests just over the rim of the tub, along with your arms. Your back is arched as he backs your ass up to his dick. He takes his fingers and plays with your clit for a bit. You moan, unable to fathom just how fucking sexy this all is. You feel yourself coming close. Before you know it, he sticks himself back in and begins to pump. Nam Joon pumps himself at a steady pace. At first, they were short and fast strokes that made the water spill over and you moan louder than usual. As you reach your peak and so does he; his strokes transition to long and deep ones. 

After a few more pumps, he lets himself go and cups your breasts with his hands. You don’t feel his cum inside of you as your walls still tingle, but you know it’s inside. Regardless of the water, you just know he creamed you messy as usual. 

As you two catch your breath, he kisses your neck once again. 

“For round two…” Nam Joon teases, “I’m thinking shower sex. Thoughts?”

“Haha,” you play along. “No.”

Nam Joon pouts, giving you puppy eyes. “... But I love you.” 

You can’t help but melt.

Oh, you’re so fucked.

You know for a fact he’ll be using this line for a while… And it’ll work. He’ll get you every time. But it’s okay! You love him too. You want him too. You need him too.

Besides, you’ll be charging him the water bill.

[bts-0t-7]

BTS | KNJ | FIC RECS

Here is the Namjoon Collection!! Just a few of my favourites. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do!

Dom daddy Joon, @joonsmagicshop (Namjoon/Reader Jungkook/Reader, daddy kink, masturbation)

Caramel, @casuallyimagining (fluff, angst, slice of life)

Oh, Honey!, @yoongiofmine (Fluff, angst, so much smut, strangers to lovers, sugar daddy au.)

What's left of us, @yoongiofmine (fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, exes au.)

Out of the woods, @angelicyoongie (fluff, angst, slight smut, wolf hybrid namjoon x human f!reader)

There's gonna be no take two, @sopebubbles (Idol!Kim Namjoon x reader, angst)

Reckless, @vyduan (angst, idolverse, friends to lovers, slow burn, canon compliant)

Drunk in love, @joon4eva (one-shot ; friends-to-lovers au)

Gift Wrapping, @btsqualityy (fluff, slice of life)

We have time, @souryoong (boyfriend!namjoon x reader, smut)

Prohibido, @personasintro (brother's best friend au, fluff, angst smut)

Bellisima, @personasintro (parents au, fluff, smut)

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 7 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood.

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taglist: @wecanpretendit | @whoisbts | @yoonjinsrkive | @my-current-mood-is | @joonzseoulmate | @parkinglot-nights | @missbangtangirl | @m00njinnie

“Four aces.” Namjoon puts his cards down and he thinks he won, he claps his hands and takes a sip from his beer. “What do you got?”

“Don’t celebrate too early Joon.” You put your cards down. “Straight flush.” And you finally beat his cards and win the game.

That day was a lazy day for both of you, after your nap you two woke up hungry and ended up cooking pasta with prepackaged sauce to save time, and after dinner he wanted to see if he could beat you in a poker game, and you won the game three times in a row.

“Fuck.” He murmurs. “Practice round.” He tries to manipulate the game which makes you laugh. “I’m ready to play you again and I’ll win.” You shrug.

He nods and takes another sip from his drink. “You got lucky y/n.” He has the habit of messing with you and you know he’s doing it again now so you hit his chest. “You’re such an idiot.” You get up on your feet and collect the plates that were still on the coffee table before you head to the kitchen, he follows you and takes the plates from your hands before putting them in the sink. “You should go lie down, I’ll do the dishes.”

You giggle and cross your arms. “I’m okay, I promise.”

He’s been treating you like a fragile piece of glass the entire day, When you’re making dinner, he felt like a burden when you got up and insisted to cook, even when you didn’t even finish half of your plate, he knows you cooked just because he’s there. So he insisted on helping in the kitchen even though when he turns everything into a disaster.

He washes the plates before stacking them in the dishwasher, you tilt your head and just think.

Why?

Is she blind? His wife must fucking brainless for treating him like utter shit and turning his life upside down.

This man walked out of a book, he’s sweet, sensitive, caring, smart, cute, attractive, and really good in bed. Why would she do that?

You were never the type to praise a man or care for one emotionally because you’re a little sure that most of them are heartless really.

But Kim Namjoon needs to be treated with love, he deserves to be loved and to be taken care of.

There’s just one thing left to do, you’ve studied this man enough and now you need someone else to do that instead, you’re probably blinded by his good looks or something, so you need someone to see him differently.

“Do you have anything planned Friday?” You use your palms for support and jump to sit on the counter, he hums and looks up for a second trying to remember his schedule. “I’m supposed to fly to Gwangju tomorrow night, and I’m flying back Friday evening,” He nods when he remembers before he asks. “Do you wanna do something?”

You didn’t think it much, but this is the perfect opportunity to finally get him to meet your friends. “I’m planning to host a game night with my friends, and I want you to come over and join.”

He grabs the kitchen towel to dry his hands before he scratches the back of his neck, a little hesitated to answer.

“Don’t worry, they already know about you and they’re really nice people.”

You really wish you didn’t say that, because it obviously made him uncomfortable. You can tell from the way he fidgets in his spot and looks away. “I hope I didn’t make things awkward for you.” He says.

You shake your head immediately. “No, Hoseok found out when he saw you here a couple weeks ago, And Jimin actually found out on his own, you’ll get to see the others on Friday, but I promise, other than their inappropriate jokes and really loud arguments, they’re good people.”

He turns to face you again before a smirk sits on his face, taking a few steps closer to you. “So you want to introduce me to your friends?” And you playfully hit his chest, “They’re finally going to see the guy who fucked their friend huh?” He continues. Your face flushes red for a moment and you feel heat creeping all over your body.

He nods slowly. “Sure, I’d love to join then.”

-

“You’re kidding.” Of course it’s Kim Taehyung, who’s face suddenly drops and changes to the point you would barely recognize his features, he’s the last one to find out that Namjoon is joining you tonight and he clearly isn’t that glad about it. “Y/n, he lied to you, you can’t just-“

“I know.” You interrupt him, “I got to know the man very well in the past month, I just need you guys to help me, you’re a guy and you know how guys think, I really care about everyone’s opinion, but I care about yours the most.” You shut the cabinet after grabbing out large bowls for the chips.

You had everything completely planned, you refilled your fridge and mini bar with alcohol and other drinks, you stacked your pantry with different types of chips and candy, and you even made the dips and popped some popcorn.

“You already know my opinion.” He crosses his arms. “And I don’t think I’m going to change it.”

You roll your eyes and sigh. “Just give him a chance, oh and please oh please don’t scare him off and don’t do that thing with your face.” You pause. “Oh and please don’t mention anything about his personal life, I already warned the guys and now I’m telling you, he doesn’t have to know that you know.”

“I’m not going to mention anything, but I can’t promise you anything about not scaring him off.” He grabs the bowls and heads out to the living room, he’s really irritated that when he saw Jungkook in front of him, he snapped at him loudly. “Jungkook will you please move your fat ass and drag the poker table to the living room?” He scolds the younger which makes you laugh, you know the topic of Namjoon irritated him just because he’s really protective of you, they all are, but Taehyung never had close girl friends and you’re the first one ever, that’s why he protects you at all costs.

“I kinda wish Namjoon joined us all the time if you’re going to wear dresses like these.” Jungkook finally gets up to get the poker table, you cringe and kick him in the shin. “What a creep.”

You do admit you look good in that dress, you had just bought it, a dark grey shapewear slip dress that complemented and highlighted every single curve on your body, it had a square collar to bring out your tits, and it was a little above the knee. You matched it with the pair of slippers you wear around your house, cute but really attractive.

Jimin grabs the bowl of chips into his lap and starts eating. “Where is he anyway? Is he always late?”

You rub your forehead, all of them are acting weird today as if they got jealous, not jealous in a romantic way, but jealous in a possessive-over-their-friend jealous. “He landed an hour ago, so he should be here any minute.” You head back to the kitchen and take out ash trays, some of your friends were social smokers and they always light up a few smokes during game nights.

The door bell rings and you hear the rushing footsteps from the living room, and like the kids they are, they rush to check the cameras before they all take their seats and act nonchalant, but all eyes are on the door.

Poor Namjoon he’s about to be scared off.

“Can someone please get the door?” You yell from the kitchen.

Namjoon was a little taken back when the door was opened by Yoongi, he was expecting you to be the one to open, his eyes even wonder inside the house looking for you. “Hi.” Yoongi shoots a smile before stretching his hand out to shake Namjoon’s. “I’m Yoongi, come on in.”

And the moment Namjoon steps in, he lets out a nervous smile and looks around the room aching to find you, he’s getting nervous by the second especially when all of them are looking at him.

“Joon?” You finally get out of the kitchen with the ashtrays in one hand, and just like magic, Namjoon suddenly feels like he’s home, his breath is regular again and his heart beat is.. Well he’s still anxious about meeting your friends.

“There you are.” You purposely give him a hug and a kiss on his cheek in front of your friends. “How was your flight?”  He wraps one arm around you and kisses you back on the cheek .”It was great, you look outstanding.”

He did notice the dress and he so desperately wants to check you out but everyone is looking. You giggle and put your hand behind his back. “Guys, this is Namjoon.”

And you introduce him to each one of them, you were too occupied looking at Namjoon’s body language and behavior to notice any discomfort, but he’s doing surprisingly okay, not because your friends are nice to him, but because you’re here with him.

What you didn’t know is that Taehyung is studying this man head to toe, he knows how men look when they’re attracted to someone, and he knows how they even act, and he’s a little amused when he sees the way Namjoon looks at you, he knows that you two know each other for a month, but Namjoon’s looks give him away, he does have something for you, and it’s very obvious.

“Come on everyone, take your seats.” Seokjin stands up, Namjoon pulls a chair for you next to him and speaks. “y/n is on my team.” Which lights up the first argument around the table, calling you on his team is like calling out for shotgun and everyone wanted you to be on their team.

-

Namjoon sits between the hyenas and you’re genuinely scared when he’s around your friends, you still don’t know how far along Namjoon will be able to endure,  your friends are really heavy blooded and ruthless when it comes to joking and making fun of each other.

“It’s me, Namjoon, Yoongi and Mia against the rest of you.” Hoseok said while examining his cards.

You had already played a couple rounds and called it over, but they decided to continue playing since the bet just got higher and they all have alcohol in their systems.

“Yoongi and Mia should play in different teams.” Taehyung teases. “Make them fight.”

Yoongi flips Taehyung off and you look at Namjoon worried he may think this is too much, but he laughs and looks at his cards, his long fingers shuffling through them, a little too focused on them.

“Are they good?” You put your arm on the back of his chair, and he startles for a second, totally not used to being touched in public like that. “Hmm?” He looks at you, your noses almost brushing against each other. “Your cards.” You explain and brush a hair strand away from his face.

“Yeah, they’re not bad.” He says, looking back at his cards. “Come closer.” He proper grabs your chair and pulls you closer to him.

“Come on captain you’re up.” Jimin got way too excited, which makes everyone laughs at him at the nickname he just called Namjoon, and they continue calling him that for the rest of the game.

You get up to get more beer from the kitchen and you hear their voices go louder when the game gets hotter, you return to the living room and you see them pick at Namjoon for being too obvious with his expression, almost exposing his cards. He’s handling it well and biting back at them, they’re still joking of course. You grin and walk closer to him, wrapping an arm around him from behind. “Now stop teasing him will you.” You print a soft kiss on his neck, inhaling his perfume. “They’re just jealous you’re a better player.” You raise an eyebrow at the team playing against him.

Namjoon’s cheeks flush and his heart races a little, he’s been fighting the urge to touch you since the night started, he even finds himself salivating at the look of your bottom lip bitten between your teeth when you’re looking at him, his pants are getting a little uncomfortable for him.

Your actions don’t go unnoticed by your friends and you clearly see Jungkook smirking and Taehyung’s eyes locked onto Namjoon.

You pull your chair and get back into your seat next to him, you feel his thigh pressed against the side of yours and it burns to the touch, you’re trying so hard to control yourself but you’re on the verge of taking him to your bedroom for a little ‘chat’.

You lean in closer to put your chin on his shoulder and take a look at his cards, he’s already got the winning cards but he’s stalling you’re friends and messing with them. You look at him and your eyes meet, he grins and stares at your lips for a split second before looking back into your eyes.

Taehyung’s eyes are piercing at the two of you now which doesn’t go unnoticed by his girlfriend Jade, who ends up elbowing him subtly gaining his attention, but he just couldn’t help but to look back at Namjoon.

Taehyung himself has the highest body count out of everyone, and he’s been with way too many girls and he managed to get away with an excuse not to call them again, he even didn’t call Jade back after their first night together. He knows that men actually do end up calling back women they actually do find attractive, or women who they can benefit of.

Then he thinks, what would Namjoon want to benefit out of you? He’s financially stable, quite good looking he could just point out to any woman and she’ll go on her knees for him, a man with an admirable job, apparently someone who doesn’t mind long term relationship since he’s already married.

Oh yes, the man is married.

And Taehyung finds it funny that they’re all sitting there basically showing him that it’s okay to cheat on his wife with their best friend, gosh this is fucked up on so many levels.

Your friends know that Namjoon is your current fling, but if anyone outside of your circle who doesn’t get the context they would think you two are madly in love. No no…

They would think he’s madly in love.

Plus, Taehyung first considered Namjoon to be a total red flag, but after a couple hours from sitting around the table with him, he doesn’t seem half bad, actually, he’s really cool, and very smart.

Oh and for you?

You totally don’t care who’s looking and who’s not, you’re totally feeling up Namjoon’s thighs under the table, your fingers squeezing softly on his inner thigh, he manages to hide his facial expressions really well, but he man spreads his legs to give you more space to stroke more of his covered skin. “Royal flush.” He couldn’t wait to put his cards down on the table just so he can lay his palm over yours, proper grabbing it and putting it on his clothed erection. The idea itself is arousing the two of you when you’re surrounded by other people and teasing each other with touches from under the table.

“I’m calling Namjoon and y/n on my team the next round.” Hoseok calls which makes Seokjin argue. “That’s not fair, you only get to choose one.”

“Not a chance, Namjoon and I are a team.” You take a sip from your bear.

Of course Namjoon is unbothered by the argument, hell he’s not even listening, his eyes are fidgeting between your hand that’s rubbing his boner subtly under the table, and on your lips and chest rising when you’re breathing.

He could take you right now on the poker table and they can watch, he won’t mind.

-

“Next week, I promise I’ll find a place.” Hoseok suggests when they were already planning the next weekend with Namjoon, they usually discuss it with you but they’re all over the guy, and he’s doing pretty well that he was planning everything and they were listening carefully. You’re watching in awe as they talk to him like they’ve known him for years, and it makes you feel a little anxious.

You recall what he told you the other day, and he was totally right, this isn’t just a hookup, it’s way more than this and that’s what’s making you anxious.

Namjoon digs into his pocket to fish out his phone and he unlocks it. “My parents got this beach house on the outskirts, we could go there. It has a pool and a hot tub and we can light up the bonfire by the beach at night.”

Jungkook is standing really close to Namjoon, he even grabs the phone from the older’s hands and starts swiping through the pictures, an amused look on Jungkook’s face. “How rich are your parents? This house is incredible—Oops, sorry.” Both their faces change and you panic a little wondering what they saw, Jungkook swiped too far and a picture of Jay appears on the screen, of course Jungkook is smart enough to swipe back to the previous photos quickly without making it seem awkward, but it actually is.

You even earn a look from both Taehyung and Seokjin, the air even tenses up a little, you look at Namjoon who contains himself and acts like nothing happened, he thinks that they don’t know, and that they will probably assume that it’s his nephew or brother or anything. But really, they all do know and they’re not acting oblivious enough, thank god he doesn’t notice.

“Okay, clear up your schedules for the next weekend, no excuses y/n.” Jimin speaks sarcastically and you realize you’re holding your breath, you rejected going with them a couple weeks ago, but now since you have your plus one, you actually wanna go. “Shut up.” You squint your eyes at him.

“I should get going.” Seokjin gets up. “I’m on call tomorrow.”

“I need to go too, I’m visiting my parents tomorrow.” Jimin gets up too and walks closer to give you a hug. “I had so much fun tonight, thanks for having us.”

“I had fun too.” You kiss his cheek. “Drive safe.” And he bids goodbye with Seokjin and they get going.

You grab the empty plates and pickup the empty cans of bear when Mia gets up to grab the rest of the empty bowls. “Let me help you.”

Both of you head to the kitchen and you start rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, you can sense that Mia has something to say from the way she’s hovering around you and scratching her eyebrow awkwardly, her eyes carefully scanning you. “Are you okay?” You ask.

You and Mia always shared secrets together and she was always there for you, and so were you, she came up to you for an advice every time she had an argument with Yoongi, you both trust each other.

“Do you not see it?” She whispers, her hand sitting on her hip, one of your eyebrows cocks up in confusion, you’re totally clueless on what she’s about to say. “See what?”

“The way he looks at you, he’s head over heels.”

You roll your eyes before you chuckle. “Mia, Namjoon and I met exactly 6 weeks ago, of course he’s not head over heels for me, what are you talking about.”

“Honey, Yoongi asked me to be his girlfriend after our third date.” She spits. “And look at us now.”

You shrug one shoulder and shake your head. “I can’t see what you’re talking about, he’s still married and he has a child, so this is all probably temporary, no strings attached.”

“No strings attached?” She laughs quietly. “Girl, he’s over here handling your annoying friends on a Friday night. Plus, he’s getting a divorce, so this doesn’t count.”

You pause for a second before you look at the woman. “Who told you that?”

“Hobi told us.” She bites on her fingernails, the asshole did read the papers, but why didn’t he tell you?

“It doesn’t mean anything, he’s not getting the divorce because of me.” You step on the pedal of the trashcan to get rid of the empty cans of drinks.

She sighs. “I’m just saying think it through—“

“Of course I’m not going to, especially when I don’t know where he is about this.” You interrupt her, you had a point. Of course you’re not going to like a man who you met only 6 weeks ago, what if he was on a total different page than where you think you are?

“Baby? Come on, we should be going home.” Yoongi leans against the kitchen door frame and he feels like he interrupted something. “Is there anything wrong?”

“Not at all.” You turn towards the sink and wash your hands.

“What do you think about Namjoon?” Mia asks, her arms crossed, she already knows what her husband thinks, she just wants you to know that he thinks the same.

Yoongi pauses for a second before he puts his hands in his pockets. “I personally think he’s okay, but Jungkook out there is all over your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You grit on your teeth before you peak your head out of the kitchen door, Jungkook is sitting really close next to Namjoon, and both of them are in what seems to be an important topic,  before he flexes his arm muscles and feels up Namjoon’s. Men.

You roll your eyes and get back into the kitchen. “Jungkook is all over everyone even himself.”

Yoongi laughs quietly before walking closer to you, pulling you into a soft hug. “It doesn’t matter what we think y/n, it’s what you think that matters. I know you wanted us to study the man, and we do actually like him, but it’s you who matters.” And his wife nods eagerly showing you that this somehow was her point too before she adds. “And he seems to fancy you a lot.”

“Yeah.” Yoongi agrees. “But take it slow, will you? The man is still married and we don’t know what’s happening next.”

You sigh and rub your forehead. He’s making sense, and you’re not sure why you’re a little afraid to admit that you finally like someone, but you do, except no matter how hard you think it’s okay to like someone, it still feels wrong when he’s involved with someone else.

“We had so much fun tonight, take care chief.” He squeezes you closer and kisses your cheek. “Goodnight.”

You walk them towards the door, they bid goodbye to everyone before they leave. Jungkook is still occupied talking with Namjoon and the poor guy is listening and he seems to be actually interested.

Taehyung and his girlfriend finally get up too, he walks closer to you to pull you in for a hug. “We had so much fun tonight.” He prints a soft kiss on your cheek before he whispers. “You wanna go out for coffee tomorrow? Just us two.”

You wrap your arms around him and kiss him back on the cheek. “Sure, I’ll call you.” You’re a little glad he suggested this date, you know he’s going to let it all out.

He nods and pulls back before saying goodbye to everyone, actually handshaking Namjoon specifically with a smile on his face, before he grabs his girlfriend and leaves.

You finally walk closer to Namjoon who’s sitting on the couch with his arms crossed, Jungook in front of him on the coffee table not planning to shut his mouth anytime soon, you squeeze in between them and sit on Namjoon’s leg and hug him closer.

The poor man isn’t used to being touched like this or publicly shown affection at all, he’s startled to the point where he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, you grab his arm and put it explicitly on your ass, totally unbothered by the existence of Hoseok and Jungkook.

They’ve done a lot worse so you secretly think that it’s your turn to finally do things like that.

“Did he give you a headache?” You pout, running your fingers through his hair and scratching the back of his head, he melts completely by your touch and he even closes his eyes, barely shaking his head.

“Oh, I’m the one having a headache, you’ve been blabbering nonstop.” Hoseok complains, gritting on his teeth at Jungkook, he gets up and collects his wallet and keys. “I’m going home, I’ll see you next week Namjoon.”

He manages to kiss you on the cheek softly while you’re still sitting on Namjoon’s legs before leaving and forcing Jungkook to finally leave.

You fall next to Namjoon on the couch, yawning and stretching your arms. “Can you please lock the door?”

He laughs quietly before using his palms for support to hover over you, printing a few kisses on your jaw and neck. “But I need to go home.” To which you immediately pout, “One night won’t hurt.”

He leans his forehead against yours and comes to realization, that the last time his lips touched yours was actually very long ago, and as much as he actually wanted to just fuck you senseless, he’s holding back to avoid making you uncomfortable, he doesn’t even dare to press his lips against yours.

He also can’t say no to you, he shrugs it off and finally nods. “One night won’t hurt.”

Even though both of you have been teasing each other with touches the entire night, you still can’t do anything with him since you’re on the last few days of your period.

He rises up on his feet and moves towards the door to lock it before clicking on a few buttons to dim the lights. And from his walk back towards you, you can easily tell that he’s been suffering with his boner that’s hiding in his jeans.

“I’m sorry.” You giggle playfully, he follows your eyesight and scoffs, his hands immediately rushing to his pockets to relieve some of the tightness. “Don’t worry, I got used to having blue balls my entire life.” He sarcastically speaks.

His joke makes you laugh your heart out, your head even falls back on the couch. He finds it contagious that he laughs with you, walking closer to lean his palm on the back of the couch and leaning down to kiss you on the neck and jaw, your laugh slowly halting down and your bottom lip sits between your teeth. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” He grabs you by your hand and pulls you up.

To say he’s trying so hard is an understatement. The way you currently look is making him near losing it, your hair is frizzy and your eyes are half closed, even your dress is no longer covering your legs. Fuck he needs to touch you.

“Ugh.” You groan when you look at the poker table. “Can you please take it inside?”

He looks back at the poker table and carries it up, his veiny arms about to rip his t-shirt open when they bulge, this big boy is insanely attractive that it’s hard for you to keep your hands to yourself.

-

“Of course not.” He pouts, you’re both in bed, your head on his bare chest and he’s tugging random strands of your hair, you look at him and squint your eyes. “Well, I do mind.”

He’s been trying to convince you since the moment you two got in bed, that he won’t mind sex during your period, and of course you argued with the only reasonable excuse, it’s going  to be a blood bath.

“Are you saying you don’t mind other stuff?” He suggestively asks, his finger tapping your nose softly, you know exactly what he means and you take a second to answer. “I don’t know, the whole idea is odd to me.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “We can try if you want to.” Which makes you scoff and roll your eyes. “You’re just saying that because your dick won’t go soft.” And he nods quickly. “I know, it won’t go soft when you’re this close to me and I can’t touch you.”

This knot sits in the pit of your stomach and you feel your body heat up, it feels really good to be sexually craved by someone, you love hearing it so much. “I can’t say I’m not flattered.” You lie down on your stomach, your elbows supporting your upper half as you grab a strand of your hair messing with it. “We could try I guess.”

He looks at your lips and licks his lower one, he could easily bust a nut at how far his imagination is going. “Okay.” He throws the blanket away from your bodies and drops it on the floor before bucking his hips up to pull his boxers down, his throbbing and already leaking cock slams against his lower stomach, the head already red and sensitive.

You swallow when you’re mouth suddenly excretes a stupid amount of saliva, you could kill to just choke on  his dick, you want to make him feel good.

He leans both his arms behind his head and gives you an inviting look, he’s fully surrendered to you, he wants you to help him.

You spit on your palm and wrap your fingers around his cock, instant heat rushes through his body and even his legs spread apart a little. He swallows once, his hand then moves to caress the side of your face softly, he’s been waiting for this moment for a while now.

You stroke his erection slowly, your  eyes focused on the only task you have in your hand, you wanted to just jerk him off at the beginning, but now you need to taste him.

You move your mouth closer to his dick and print the softest kiss on the tip, your eyes now locked into his, you lick once from the base of his shaft to the very tip, a string of saliva mixes with his precum and stays attached to your bottom lip, your other hand moves to the tip to smear his precum with your index finger before you put  it in your mouth, the saltiness sits on your taste buds, and it tastes fucking good.

His cock twitches in your hand at the sight of you doing so, you even giggle playfully and kiss the head again. “All that for me?” You whisper. His eyes almost roll to the back of his head when you wrap your lips around the head and bob your head down and up, your hair falling on your face. “Good fucking girl, just like  that.”

You bob your head lower each time before you pull back and stroke it again, you look him into the eyes and speak with a low voice. “I can suck your cock better than she does”

“Fuck!” He moans at the top of his lungs before he accidentally cums too fast, you even gasp when he shoots his cum in the air and it lands down on his stomach and on your hand, a little drop falling on the corner of your mouth, he holds the bed sheets into his fist and bucks his up with every spill. “Mmm,” His chest heaves dramatically when he’s done, his cock still in your hand and you’re still stroking him slowly. “Look at the mess you made.” You teasingly click your tongue, he looks down at you and smiles lazily. “This is so fucking embarrassing.”

You giggle and climb up towards him, you press the softest kiss on his lips and he immediately kisses you back eagerly, begging to feel more of your lips against his, he’s been wanting to kiss you the entire night, he licks your bottom lip and grabs your head closer, his tongue licks the small drop of his cum near your lips and he spits it into your mouth and you’re more than glad to swallow it.

He pulls back from the kiss and grabs your hand. “Let me clean you up.” He licks every drop of cum off of your fingers and kisses you back on the lips to spit the remaining cum into your mouth and again you swallow.

He wraps his arms around your hips and turns you so you lay flat on the bed, he hovers on top of you and prints small kisses repeatedly on your lips before he moves down to your neck, kissing it and licking softly which makes your body heat up again.

Namjoon never had the chance to study the female body correctly, his previous sexual life was solely just about getting the job done, of course it felt good to him, but with you this whole experience feels new to him and it’s filled with ecstasy. He wanted to explore your body, know what you’re into, not just because it felt insanely erotic to him, but he wanted to please you and make you feel good and satisfied.

He moves down to your chest, your nipples are perked up from underneath your tight white top from the blood pumping all over your body, almost begging to be touched by him, his index finger circles your hard covered nipple softly, his eyes focused on it and his tongue running on his lower lip.

He sticks his tongue out and licks the fabric once, rubs it with his index finger again and now using his thumb to pinch it lightly, your cunt feels numb and you can’t press your thighs together since he’s nestled between your legs.

The moisture he applied to your clothed nipple makes the shirt no longer white, it’s started to get see through and he can see it better now. “You can take my top off if you want to.” You suggest, a little out of breath, he looks up into your face to see the really obvious red flush on your face, now he’s a little more eager to make you cum.

He doesn’t hesitate as his warm fingers climb on your torso from under the shirt and he throws it off of you, your breasts fully exposed to him now, one of his hands lean on the pillow behind you to support his upper half, and the other gropes your breast in a tight grip, fuck, It hurts, but still feels so good.

He leans down and licks the valley between your tits and licks your nipple before sucking on it for his dear life, pulling his head back a little with your breast still in his mouth, the tugging makes your back arch against him, your hand moves to grab his wrist that’s leaning against the pillow. “Shit.” You clench your jaw when you feel your nipple sitting between his teeth, your eyes meet and he grins, almost threatening to actually bite it.

You grab onto his face, your thumb on his right cheek and the rest of your fingers on his left one. “No biting.”

Seeing you under him like that is more than enough to make him erect all over again like he didn’t just shoot a load a couple minutes ago, you find out when you accidentally graze your thigh between his legs and you feel his cock brushing against your skin. You really are flattered.

And he obeys, moving to your other breast to give it some love, before he turns you to lay on your side, and he lays behind you skin to skin, his arm sits under your head and he leans his forehead on the side of your face to kiss your ear. “Did I tell you how much I liked the dress you were wearing tonight?”

Your eyes automatically shut when you feel his hot breath into your ear when he speaks, you let out a breath when your head falls back against his. “You had no idea how much I wanted to bend you over that poker table and fuck your tight cunt.” He whispers, no he explicitly moans into your ear when he speaks. “Let them see how good your man can stretch that tight little pussy of yours.”

You shut your eyes tightly and you can’t take it anymore, you need to cum, you need him to touch you or do anything, you have to cum. “Fuck, Namjoon it hurts.”

“Hmm?” He hums, kissing your ear again, your hand moves to hold onto his that you’re leaning your head onto, you squeeze onto his palm and beg. “Please, please make me cum.”

He could embarrassingly cum fast like he did a couple minutes ago, but this time he’s able to hold back.

“You wanna cum?” He teasingly asks, his free hand grazes on the side of your body before it moves to your ass, he squeezes it into his palm and gives you the hardest spank ever, your butt cheek tingles with heat, on regular bases it would hurt, but now, it’s pushing you closer to your end.

His fingers hook on the elastic band of your panties before he pulls it down to reach your thighs, then wraps his fingers around his erection and settles it against your folds, your wet cunt glazing his cock and making it glisten when he rubs it in between your folds.

The numbness in your cunt hurts and you could feel your arousal on your own thighs, you’re getting way too impatient and eager for him that you grind your hips against his. You know he’s not going to penetrate since you’re basically still on your period, so grinding will do the job.

He grabs onto the back of your thigh and lifts one of your legs up to give him the desired space to start grinding against your folds, the slickness from your cunt making it easier to grind against you.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel the tip of his dick rub against your throbbing clitoris repeatedly, your jaw drops and you even reach for the back of his head behind you and pull onto his hair. “You’re gonna make me cum, please—“

“I know baby, can you hold back for me just a little?” He whispers into your ear, his irregular breath against your ear sending shivers across your body. “Just a little.” And you respond with shaking your head, your lips falling between your teeth, the knot inside your stomach is going to burst any second now. “I can’t.” You tug onto his hair tighter and grind your hips against his, your butt cheek slams against his body and you finally release, the heat washes through your spine and back and you could see starts in your eyes. “Ha.. Namjoon, I’m sorry.. I couldn’t.” Your hand falls and you start panting for a breath.

He kisses your ear softly and runs his hand on your thighs, pressing his fingers lightly into your skin and he can feel the heat of your body on his fingers tips. “You’re off the hook this time.” He teasingly whispers before he pulls back from behind you, his eyes land on his dick and he sees how much you’ve soaked him with your cream and he smirks, totally ignoring the little smear of blood on his dick.

He sits up on his knees on the bed and helps you lay flat on the bed again before pressing his lips against yours for a few wet kisses, his tongue grazing on your lower lip, his hand grabs onto yours and he leads it to his cock that’s seconds away to busting a nut.

Your body already feels loose that it takes you seconds to gather the strength to stroke his cock, taking the speed up every second, pleasure washes through his entire body that he can’t focus on the kiss and return it to you, his forehead falls against yours and his jaw falls down, his breath quickening and his eyelids falling down slowly. “That’s it.” He managed to hiss under his breath, both his palms sit on the pillow behind you and he lets you do all the work, your hands are getting tired that you have to stop for a second to change your rhythm, which makes him hold his cock into his own hands and stroke it fast.

You feel the need to not waste a drop, so you position your head near his cock and stick your tongue out, clearly telling him to cum on your mouth and face, and that’s the last thing he needs to see so he just lets go and shoots out continuous ribbons of his seed on your tongue and face, decorating it just the way he likes, and he swears you looked fucking gorgeous with his cum all over your face. “Fuck-“ He grunts and his hand falls down, his cock twitching and still shooting out cum on your tongue.

One of your hand grazes on his big thighs and the other one just cleans the cum off of your face to put it into your mouth, your eyes meets his and he stares at you out of breath and in awe, watching you clean every drop of his seed and put it into your mouth, you smirk when you see his cock twitching at the sight, before you stick your tongue out to show him the cum you gathered inside your mouth and swallow it, giving your lower lip a single lick. “Hmm.” You sit up on your knees and pull your panties back up, before wrapping your arms around his shoulder and smacking your tongue teasingly at him. “You taste okay.” You shrug, which makes him laugh and wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, his soft dick grazing on your lower stomach. “You’re fucking incredible.”

“I know.” You tease and kiss his cheek once. “Now you can go to sleep.”

Both of you lay down on the bed, his back faces you and you hug him from behind, kissing his bare shoulder softly before you finally go to sleep.

-

You walk into the warm café and the scent of the freshly roasted coffee beans and freshly bakes pastries wafts through your nose, you miss going to cafés like that since you’ve been deprived from it ever since you started your job, you used to study in coffee shops back then.

You look around and finally spot Taehyung on one of the tables waving his hand towards you, you walk closer to him, give him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before you pull the chair across from him and take a seat.

Almost one hour in and you two spend it catching up on daily things, his job, yours, his girlfriend and how he’s planning to ask her to move it, before he finally speaks of the not so forgotten topic and asks you about Namjoon.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?” You ask him, your eyes locked into his face to study his features, you’re getting anxious slowly and impatient to know what he thinks.

He takes a long sip of his iced Americano before he rests his back against the chair and crosses his arms. “Does it matter what I say?” And that confuses you for a second. “He seems to like you, but we need to address the elephant in the room y/n, he’s still married and you don’t even know where you are on this whole thing.” He shrugs.

You lean your elbows on the table and shrug. “You’re right, but I’m not being delusional Tae, he clearly feels something, don’t you think?”

And he nods. “Perhaps, yeah.” Before he continues. “Look we just need to give it some time, you guys just started talking and you’re just high on each other.”

You huff and take a sip of your drink. “The man is perfect” And it feels like a heavy weight on your shoulder just disappeared when you finally said that to someone. Taehyung grins and shrugs slightly. “The guys like him.”

“And you?”

“I do.” He says. “But it doesn’t matter what any of us thinks, it’s all up to you.”

“You’re not really helping me.” You whine and hit his leg from under the table.

“We can’t discuss anything right now, we need to know where he is at least, we could be reading him wrong after all.” He rubs his leg before cursing at you under his breath.

“Then what are we doing here?” You blink your eyes, “I thought we were going to discuss the entire thing.”

“I just want you to take everything slow, we’re all here for you and we’ve got your back.” He puts his hand over yours and squeezes it softly. “You’re a successful woman, who’s smart enough to take her own decisions and know what’s good for her and what’s not.”

You thought the heavy weight on your shoulders is gone but it’s slowly returning, you’ve always seen people falling in and out of love and you always rolled your eyes at the entire idea, why would people deliberately go through relationships when most of them go down the pooper? That’s why you never did relationships.

And now for a second you judge Namjoon, this man is going through a rough patch in his life all because of his failed marriage, and yet again he’s right here, clearly developing feelings for you and choosing to go sort of the same path again.

“You’re right.” You nod. “I would be lying if I told you I didn’t like the man, I actually do and he ticks everything on my list, I just need to be careful, that’s all.”

“Good.” He squeezes your hand again for reassurance. “How good is the sex?”

Your drink goes through your nose and you actually choke, you cover your mouth and cough repeatedly trying to clear out your airway. “Shut up.” You manage to curse at him.

-

“What do you mean? Of course this can’t happen.” Her father is in mere denial, the divorce papers fall accidentally in his hands. Copies has been sent in the mail on Monday morning to him and his daughter.

She wanted this to happen long time ago but she didn’t realize that she’s dragging down her entire family with her. She too was silenced and forced by her father to do the whole thing since the beginning, so she saw it coming.

She’s going to have to pay for all the manipulation that was done by her family to Namjoon’s.

Namjoon didn’t even tell anyone about the divorce that was going to happen, he filed for it a little before he met you, and then when he did meet you, he knew that he cannot and will not end up with the woman he has under his roof, this can’t be his ending. So he called a few people and even paid his lawyer to help him end it faster.

Her on the other hand just locked the door behind her when she got back to their house, the mail is in her hand and although the title is already clear, she’s still confused by it..

Ministry of Justice,

Seoul family court, Gangnam.

Divorce Agreement.

With her full name on it, she squints her eyes and finally opens the mail eagerly, almost ripping the envelope, luckily Jay slept on the way home, she carried him into his bed before she opened the mail.

It’s her name, and Namjoon’s name, she did see it coming, but she never knew how she would react. But she’s breaking into cold sweat, worried what her family might think if they knew.

Her purpose of this marriage is long gone when she finished her education that was paid by Namjoon’s parents, her parents live off of his family now, but she never needed their money, she never bought herself clothes, makeup, or even anything she craved because it’s their money.

She didn’t pay actual money for her education, she paid her life when she decided to share it with Namjoon.

She despises him, the way he talks, the way he moves, his hands, his eyes, his face. She hates his sense of humor, his voice tone. She even hates the way he breathes or snores. She too, can’t end up with him.

And no matter how hard she tried to convince her family that she’d do anything to make them live a better life without the Kim’s, it ended up with fights and arguments and actual threats from them.

So she went with it, married the man, but she made a promise to herself, that she’s going to turn his life into hell, she never cared what would happen to him, or if it would hurt him or not, so she just went ahead.

And the divorce papers in her hand are the actual clue that her plan worked. But fuck, she knows that this divorce will wreck their lives. She’s terrified by her family.

The door unlocks and Namjoon walks in and he’s in his uniform since he just flew back from Gwangju, he doesn’t even bother to look at her, he kicks off his shoes and loosens his tie.

Something inside her tells her to just make things right, so she just hides the papers back into the envelope and quickly into her purse. “N-namjoon?”

He turns his back to her and walks into his room, closing the door behind him, he still doesn’t know that she got the papers.

She takes a few steps closer to the door and her hand hovers over the door knob, she’s a split second away from opening the door, but Namjoon locks it from the inside.

She doesn’t know what she wants, or what to do.

-

“Please? I’ve been wanting to go for a while.” He whines with a pout on his face that you can hear through the phone.

You’re in your bed, you were sleeping before he called you since you were on the previous night shift, you have the phone pressed against your ear with your eyes still closed, he’s been trying to convince you about the wine tasting tour.

“I’ll come pick you up, and you can call it a date.”

Your eyes are no longer closed when he speaks of a date this easily, you two haven’t been together alone in public other than the day of your conference, and it was a coincidence that day. But he’s asking you to go out on a date with him, and you weren’t even sure you were at that point yet.

“Joon—“ You sigh. “I don’t know.”  Your phone starts vibrating in your hand and you look at the screen to find him requesting a video chat, and you don’t hesitate a second to accept the call.

Your faces meet and he’s lost at the sight of you for a second before he smiles, his pearly whites and dimples clearly visible. “You’re still in bed?” He asks, leaning his phone on the nightstand near his bed, you could see him topless and unzipping his pants.

“Yeah.” You rub  your eyes and stretch, leaning your phone against the pillow next to yours and snuggling under the blanket. “How was your flight?”

“Don’t change the subject.” He smirks. “Are we going wine tasting tonight?” a smile creeps on your face before you click your tongue. “Let me think about it, I need time to decide.”

He puts his clothes on the couch next to his bed while laughing and walking back to his phone to grab it. “Alright. Until then, what are you wearing?” He licks on his bottom lip as he finally sits on his bed and lights up a cigarette.

You take a long breath before you teasingly look under your blanket.

It’s boiling hot outside, and you’ve had too many snacks on your shift that you couldn’t wait to get home and actually get rid of your scrubs, so you chose to sleep with only your panties.

“A ball gown.” You joke, barely stifling a smirk. And he laughs quietly, trying not to be loud. “I don’t believe you.”

“I like to dress to impress, mister Kim.” You giggle, he raises an eyebrow and blows a cloud of smoke. “Then show it to me.”

He knows you’re not wearing anything since he can see your bare shoulders, you have your blanket covering your upper half. “How was your flight again?” You ask and he rolls his eyes. “You’re such a tease.”

You crack a laugh at him before you finally nod. “Alright, I’ll go on the wine tasting tour with you.”

“Thank you.” He smiles at his phone screen. “I’ll come by this afternoon and we’ll be picked up from your place.”

Namjoon heard about this tour from one of the cabin crew earlier this week, and he’s been wanting to go since then and he wanted to go with you, he’s itching to show you off in public even when he still can’t and you two aren’t even labeled yet.

He enjoys your company so much, and he knows you do too, he can be himself around you and he knows he won’t be judged.

“Okay.” You yawn and snuggle into your blanket, still sleepy. “Can I get back to sleep?”

His lips curve into a little smile when he admires how cute you look when you’re tired and sleepy, he’s admiring your face for too long that he even forgot to answer you. “Namjoon?” You ask, which snaps him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, alright. I’ll see you later.”

You nod before you wave your hand to him, he waves back and finally ends the call and you go back to sleep.

Namjoon on the other hand, finishes booking for the tour while he’s taking the last few puffs of his cigarettes before his phone starts to glitch, it seems to be that there are two people calling him at the same time, and it’s his father and father in law, which makes him panic for a second.

Of course he decides to ignore his father in law’s call and call back his own father. “Dad?”

His father’s voice tone full of worry when speaks. “Namjoon? What’s the matter? Is it true what they’re talking about?”

Namjoon is completely clueless that everyone knows of the divorce now, he’s even clueless that his wife got the papers. “What are you talking about?”

“The divorce? Is it really happening?” He asks, and Namjoon doesn’t hesitate for a second to answer. “Yes dad, I made that decision on my own.”

“You two were incredible together, what’s the matter?” That makes Namjoon scoff, “Are you sure we can’t work things out?”

“No dad, nothing can fix this.” Namjoon swallows the dry lump in his throat, he regrets the years he spent with his wife, he wishes he can just erase that chapter from his life because it did engrave a type of trauma into him.

His father is in denial and so is his father in law, everything seemed to be okay to them, but they never saw anything behind closed doors.

“Please tell him to never contact me, and if he has anything to say, tell him to save it until the day of the hearing.” Namjoon says with a solid tone, not willing to negotiate the entire thing what so ever.

“When’s your hearing?” His father asks and Namjoon answers. “September 12th.”

An audible sigh escapes his father’s mouth. “But son, that’s your birthday.”

“I know, and I got everything under control dad, don’t worry.” Namjoon’s stomach drops when he speaks of the hearing, he feels extremely anxious and  impatiient.

He’s confident that after going through this difficult and challenging experience, he will be starting fresh and new that day.

He cannot wait to feel reborn.

[likeastarstar]

Needy- NAMJOON

"Hi baby."

Namjoon's deep voice rumbled in your ears, an almost pavlovian response triggered in your body.

You'd think by now, this far into your relationship, the crush you had on him would've worn off. Instead, it seems to have gotten even stronger- your mouth watered whenever he was in front of you, your entire body lit up with anticipation- hoping, wishing, begging for him to come closer to you.

Joon covered your body with his, wrapping you into a secure hug. A smile grew on your lips as you felt his long, strong arms wrap around you and his weight in your body. He put pressed on you as you pushed your face into his chest, breathing in his scent. His lips pressed to your cheek, then your jawline, then your neck- making his way down as he squeezed your body like a snake wrapping around its most precious prey-

"I missed you," He mumbled against your skin, breath sending goosebumps down your spine.

"It was only a couple hours-"

"And here I raced home for you," Joon tssked, "Thought about you the entire way, figured we could do date night here at home, yeah? Maybe watch a movie together, take a bath later? I'll wash your hair for you, remember how much you like that?"

You felt a shiver run down your spine at the memory of the last time your boyfriend washed your hair. A psychological study had to be conducted about the aphrodisiac properties to a head massage and lavender soap.

You exhaled slowly, Joon's eyes tracking yours with the upmost concentration. The heat of his gaze warmed your belly and you tilted your head at him, wondering what exactly it was that put him in this kind of a mood.

"What was Yoongi's show about again? Did it happen to involve something with alcohol maybe?" You hummed, feeling his hand dip under the hem of your shirt and massage your lower back.

His hand crept upwards, calloused fingers rubbing your soft skin with all the desperation in the world. The way he touched you was like a starved man, begging, aching for any crumb of you that he could get.

"What are you insinuating?" Namjoon said suspiciously, fingers fumbling with the clasp of your bra.

"That every time you drink you get needy," You teased, letting him wrap his other arm around your waist and hoist you into the air, carrying you with ease.

You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist and gripped his arms, face so close to his your lips grazed each others', teasing each other endlessly.

"Don't you need me baby?" Joon mumbled against your lips.

You held him there, close to you, where you could feel his body heat warm you up and smell him- that spicy, woody smell that was all his and now it was spiked with liquor.

"Of course I do," You assured quickly, "You know I do."

He smirked up at you, pressing his lips to yours in a possessive, greedy sort of way that made your head spin. It was like you were the one who was drunk, the way he set your body on fire as he set you down gently, spinning you around so fast you had to catch yourself against the wall, back arched as he pushed your legs apart roughly.

"Lemme go down on you, please? Can I please put my mouth on you?" He asked, large hand working your pussy through your pants.

You moaned, nodding half a second before he ripped your pants halfway down your legs, mouth kissing down the length of your spine almost immediately. He ate you out like that, chest shoved against the wall and holding on for dear life. His tongue was rough and thorough, leaving no part of you untouched.

You felt like a bolt of lightning had struck from your head to your toes, opening up for him as he thrusted in and out of your pussy. He added his fingers as if his tongue wasn't enough, thumb flicking and prodding at your clit until you were cumming against his face, back arched so sharply you were sure to feel sore tomorrow.

It was like all the air had been sucked from the room as he manhandled you, lifting you back up in his arms to take all the work away from you, "You still with me?" He asked, looking down at you with an exhilarated, chaotic look on his face.

You hummed in response, nodding at him as he gathered you in his arms. He gave you his cheekiest grin before you heard the clink of his belt hitting the floor, slamming his hips up into you in one fell thrust. You moaned loudly, raking your nails down his back so sharply it would've broke skin if he wasn't wearing a shirt still.

There was something so satisfyingly lust filled about the way your bodies moved against each others, rough and intense like you hadn't seen each other in ages. He fucked into you hard, filling you in every way possible and then some. The pace Namjoon set was ruthless, burying his head in the crook of your neck and sucking bruises into the skin that would last days.

You grabbed at his hair, tugging on thick black locks with no reservations as he pushed your legs even wider, one pinning your thigh out and the other keeping you half wrapped around him, ankle hooked against his lower back.

"I'm so c-close," You whined, your voice hoarse and dry from moaning out his name.

"Tell me how much you need me," Joon demanded, "Tell me how good you feel and I'll let you cum."

You obliged immediately, never turning down and opportunity to praise your boyfriend. You whined and begged and pleaded for him to make you cum, to touch you the way only he could, to cum inside of you so that you could be his and his only the way you knew you were.

He kept his eyes on your as he touched your clit, thrusts quickening as you came all over his cock, Namjoon finishing closely behind you. The two of you basked in the afterglow, your breathing synced as you floated back down to earth. He didn't bother setting you down, instead simply adjusting his grip on you so that he could carry you more securely.

"Time for that bath, huh?" He suggested, carrying you off towards the bathroom you shared.

It was going to be a long night...

masterlist.

[jung-shook-iieee]

Hot Wheels | KNJ

➳Pairings: idol Namjoon x reader (f)

➳ rating: M ( obviously minors dni!)

➳ genre: idol verse, relationship au.

➳ warnings: namjoon is filthy hot here, super angry dom, sexy namjoon, use of degrading words, humiliation, teasing, y/n was literally walking on thin ice, until joonie breaks it, super meany joon, mmhh y/n playing with herself ( does that count as masturbation? Becoz joonie didn't let her finish?) Risky, joon was live y'all, Armies being very suspicious lol, joon flashes his bulge * mistakenly, joon cursing on live??????? and super dirty talking. ( I dunno what to add more lmao.)

➳ summary: teasing namjoon when he goes live could never get you in serious trouble, right?

➳ word count: 1.6k

➳ a/n: I actually..... Can someone just tell me what in the world do i have to do to get fucked by joon? I mean seriously... I can not take this anymore. I'm going FERAL for him. Xxxxxxxxxxxx

➳ a/n2: I live for mean joonie, I just can not stop myself from writing this. And I have no shame. No regrets. Do reblog tho, if you like it. Feedbacks are always welcomed. &lt;333

" Don't you dare baby, stay like this kay? Don't make this hard for both of us. I'll be quick. " Namjoon wrapped his muscular and veiny hand around your neck to keep you still. You've been a very bad, bad girl according to him, but you knew what you were doing.

It will easily piss Namjoon off, But you can't help it, can you?  you love to see when he struggled.......Struggled because of you, it was rare tho. It's always the other way around, you struggling for him and him being a sadist enjoyed your misery every single time.

So even if he punished you afterwards, you will willingly take your punishments. You totally loved the messier and clumsier side of him, usually Kim Namjoon carried himself as a wolf. Strong, powerful, and dominant but behind those cameras and people he's the clumsiest person you've ever seen.

Tease him about his mistakes and he will not think twice before railing you against the nearest wall so you could remember your place.

He loves you of course he does, but he loves you even more when you cry for him, from the pleasures he gives you. When you beg, squirm and cum for him.

So when he told you he is going live for armies and asked you to behave you don't why but your inner bitch told you other wise.

When he was setting up the things for his live , you simply stood up and walked towards the cupboard, the lower section was filled with different toys. You took out a simple black mini rabbit vibrator.

Namjoon didn't looked at you he was busy in his live by now. You walked back, discarded your clothes and threw your bra at his feet, which made him look at you.

He was speechless, he clearly told you to not make any sounds and here you were throwing your bra at him. Irony. He looked back at the tab and ignored your presence completely.

You started playing with yourself. You massaged your breast slowly, taking all the time in the world making yourself ready to play with, fondling your perky breast, twisting and pinching your soft nipples. You sensually snaked your hands on your stomach then slowly you reached at your lower part.

You were a dripping mess, so wet just by the mere thought of seducing Namjoon while he was on air, interacting with millions of armies.

Namjoon could see what you were doing, it was driving him crazy. He loved when you act as a brat, a bold person in front of him. Because after that he could punishment you all like he wants.

You turned around, ass in air and pussy all spread out for him to watch. The mini vibrator caused the shaking of your legs, namjoon sweared at the sight. You looked so tempting, so inviting like a sex goddess indeed.

He forced himself to tear his graze from you and focus on the live, sure by now all people would be curious and he knew that.

He just couldn't help himself but grab his aching bulge between his legs. You really made his cock rock hard, he was struggling keeping his posture straight.

He drank water frequently, paused while giving answers and he just sweared on live. What else can he do to get more troubles?

" Is someone with you oppa? " Namjoon repeated a comment and narrowed his eyes then replied, " Ohh aniyo... It's just the... Curtains. Haha. They keep disturbing me. " He struggled answering their question, which only made your lips twitch upward slightly and you turned around and pulled out the toy which was deep inside you.

You stood up and took out a hitachi wand from your cupboard. Namjoon bought it for you as a gift. You still remember the first time he used that thing on you, the orgasms from this thing were  really strong and powerful.

You switched on the toy and placed the settings at one.

The vibrations were killing you, if you continued longer you didn't know if you would be able to keep your moans suppressed. You muffled your moans by placing your small hand above your mouth.

It was really tough for Namjoon to keep his sanity intact. The mere sight of you was driving him crazy, your legs were wide spread, your boobs looked so soft, a toy was stimulating your throbbing clit , you were so wet he could easily see your slick all over your thighs and bedsheet.

You mouthed PLEASE asking him to fuck you, Namjoon forcefully dragged his eyes from you to the tab he pretended like he's interested in the live but no he wasn't. All of his attention was on you now, you did got his attention.

It was getting impossible for him to remain collected so he asked, " Just a second people I'll be back, I need to use restroom hehe. I'll be quick. " And he muted his live, he forgot that the people might see his aching big buldge but he do not give two fucks about that now.

When he marched towards you, to say you were scared will be a understatement. His jaw was clenched and he fisted his hands. You quickly closed your legs and tried to sit up but he dragged you up by your neck, " What do you think you're doing huh?" That voice. That fucking voice sent chills down your spine, you Whimpered from the way he was squeezing your neck tight, cutting the supply of air.

" Do you FUCKING THINK this shit is FUNNY huh?? " He whispered yelled and slammed your head against the headboard and slapped your wet cunt, throwing the expensive wand on floor, making you whimper.

" Don't... Don't fucking close your legs on me now baby, you were spreading your legs like a whore just a minute ago. " He whispered in your ear, his voice could easily make you cum let his hands and dick alone.

" M'sorr-yyyy joon" You gasped sang, barely audible but he heard you, " Now, now, now don't say that okay? I know your not FUCKING SORRY." You but your lower lips knowingly, you knew this was coming, you asked for it. Actually no you begged for it so you can do nothing but to take his punishments like a big girl.

He stuffed his big and thick fingers inside your little cunt making you arch your back and he rammed his fingers so fast and deep inside you making you out of breath.

He pulled away after a minute or two, he needs to get back to the live and may be end it properly. You quickly held his hands and dragged his fingers on your needy cunt for more but he pulled away his hands " Don't you dare baby, stay like this kay? Don't make this hard for both of us. I'll be quick. " Namjoon wrapped his muscular and veiny hand around your neck to keep you still. You only nodded and waited for him.

You obeyed him because you don't want to piss him any more, you knew after this he would be leaving you with a numb and sore pussy anyway.

He sucked his fingers clean, closed his eyes tasting your essence. He growled, you tasted so good he just couldn't wait. You immediately shut your legs close feeling more wet at his lewd action.

He adjusted his crotch and went back on his chair. He unmuted the live and again started answering their questions and laughing with them.

They did asked questions because they were suspicious but he made excuses and cleared there doubts. After 5-10 mins he bid goodbye and turned off the tab.

He closed his eyes, and sighed. You could see how tense he was, the fear of getting caught by army was exciting but scary also. It could've lead him to some serious trouble.

He opened his eyes and looked at you, silently. His breath was slow, his dragon eyes covered in lust and anger. He looked so intimidating to you. You were scared, so scared. Neither you nor he was speaking anything but his gaze was sending you over the edge. You stared at your legs, you just couldn't look at him in his eyes.

Your breath hitched when he stood up and started taking slow steps towards you, you didn't dared to raise your eyes but you could feel him standing next to you.

He grabbed your jaw harshly making you whimper, " Explain. " He demanded. You couldn't speak the words out from your mouth. His grip was becoming harsher.

" Pl-easeee-" , " Please what?? Huh? Did I fucking stuttered baby? Or did I gave you the permission to touch yourself? Or to touch the toys? " He questioned but you were in a deep haze from the pain and pleasure that you couldn't make yourself to speak.

" You're just a dumb whore right? You can't speak unless I force you? " He was speaking with so much anger and authority that even his degradation was sending direct waves of pleasure to your core.

He took off his sweatshirt and his chest looked so good, so tempting . Your palms were itching to  touch him you slowly raised your hands towards him but he gripped it harshly making you groan in displeasure," After the stunt you've pulled y/n do you think I'm letting you touch me.?" The tone of his voice was cold, like a warning to you, bet any other person would run away but you, you begged him to treat you this way.

he stood beside you with his naked broad chest. The pecs really looked yummy tho, namjoon's muscles only got thicker after he started doing gym.

He climbed up in the bed, stood on his knees and spoke in your ears, " You really put me in a bad position today baby, now I'll exactly give you what you've been craving for. "

Well, you couldn't deny him can you!? You just gotta take what he gives.

...........................................................................................................

Masterlist.

@yellabella77 @screamertannie @sweetwolfcupcake @bri-mal @hoseokteardrop @kooookie @favfanfictsbts @ciennnthia @yopjm @sunny-favs @heyyymin

[flowerwrites06]

affairs of state — knj

AFFAIRS OF STATE | Kim Namjoon | Oneshot | Request

Original Request: Can I request for a President Namjoon x Reader (she can be an assistant or a just a simple fun loving girl who meets Namjoon out of nowhere). Namjoon falls for her, BAD and try his hardest to make her the light of his life. Make it angstyyyyy yum I love angst 😭 – @sarzkh31 Plot: The allures of power and politics is a tumultuous one and it creates a strain on Namjoon's budding love. Pairing: President!Namjoon x Secretary!OC (Name: Minnie) Genre: Politics AU | Angst Type: Oneshot Rating: MA15+ Word Count: 3.8k+ Warnings: angst (messy encounters), sexual content (quickie, unprotected). Author’s Note: here we are the req for november! it's a little unedited, I apologize, this week got hectic for me but I hope you still enjoy!

Requests are open at the moment so click here to send your ideas in!!

The air in the main office held a subtle buzz each morning as Minnie entered, a stack of papers in hand. Late afternoon sun filtered through the transparent curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. Namjoon sat at his deep mahogany table, polished beautifully and adorned by files and vintage pen sets from leaders before him. His dark hair sleek back with just a strand over his forehead, lips pursed in concentration as he looked through the morning news. His black coffee sat next to him, exuding gentle plumes of steam.

Minnie took a few slow steps absentmindedly so she could admire his focus in solitude. But her heels tapped just enough against the wood to move his attention. “I’ve the latest reports for you,” she said, making her voice a blend of professionalism and warmth.

Namjoon fully looked up from his desk, brown eyes softening at the sight of her mimicking the slight melt of his heart. “Always diligent and on time with piling on work,” he said playfully.

Minnie chuckled, setting the papers on his desk. “It’s my job, sir.”

Namjoon placed the newspaper down as he leaned back in his chair, eyes never leaving hers. “And looking stunning is part of your job too?”

Heat crept onto Minnie’s cheeks, but she quickly composed herself. “Thank you, sir, but flattery won’t get you out of these reports.” She tapped the pile.

Namjoon grinned, only musing and relishing in her reaction. “I’m just appreciating my morning view.”

“Real smooth,” she raised a brow.

“It’s a skill,” Namjoon smirked. “Gotta hone it with you around.”

Minnie shook her head with a chuckle, turning to leave the office. “I’ve got some meetings for you in the late afternoon so make sure those reports are signed.”

“How about a meeting with you?” Namjoon leaned forward. “We must have some business matters to discuss.”

Minnie opened the door behind her with a playful gleam in her eyes. “Strictly business, I assume?”

Namjoon grinned. “Of course.”

Minnie closed the door immediately, biting down her bottom lip and taking a deep breath to calm the pounding of her heart. Every work day was going to be a near heart attack if this kept going.

-

Despite Minnie’s efforts in maintaining her façade of indifference, a subtle flow of emotions lingered at the back of her mind of Namjoon. She tried to shove those feelings down, anchoring herself in a veneer of professionalism so she doesn’t get consumed. However, her strength was not beyond certain sights.

In Namjoon’s mansion, Minnie organised a gathering amongst members of parliament. At the youngest hours of the party, Namjoon captured the people’s attention with his charisma and air of comfort. Minnie usually stood next to him, wearing a simple brown dress to blend into the hardwood floors and furnishings of the house.

Except deep into the festivities, while Minnie was distracted with the catering organisation, Namjoon was nowhere to be found, leaving a void in the proceedings.

A wave of politicians sent questions Minnie’s way, asking about his sudden disappearance. She reassured them with as much composure as possible before rushing to search for Namjoon.

Minnie looked to the bathrooms and bedrooms first but Namjoon was nowhere to be found. The final option was the private library where Namjoon went for his quiet hours. Perhaps he needed some time to breathe.

However, when Minnie reached the door of the private library, she heard the echoes of a woman’s laughter. It gave her pause for a moment before she continued.

Cracking the door open, Minnie’s eyes widened at the scene inside. Namjoon entangled himself with a woman, the actress who he had been speaking to. She wore a dazzling blue dress glimmering as they moved. Glasses half full of whiskey ignored on the coffee table, and a dizzying blend of perfume and cologne, the mix of Namjoon with his new lover.

Something twisted and gnawed at Minnie’s chest, a clear proof that the flirtations she’d been cherishing were just that. Harmless flirtation. Meaningless.

Gathering what strength was left in her, Minnie took a deep breath to calm herself. “Sir,” she spoke, her voice cutting through the room’s sensual air.

The actress and Namjoon turned towards her, the latter’s drunken smile waning.

“They want you back in the living room,” Minnie declared, her gaze unwavering.

Namjoon, grappling with the sudden intrusion, cleared his throat. “Right.”

The woman gracefully disentangled herself.

As Namjoon adjusted his dishevelled appearance in the mirror, Minnie looked away to maintain any level of control in the flurry of emotions being pushed deep into her chest.

The actress was left to deal with a failed opportunity in luring the country’s leader into a fling. She stayed in the room in perpetual silence.

Minnie and Namjoon stepped out of the room with that same suffocating distance forming between them.

“Minnie,” Namjoon called her name with such softness that it nearly melted Minnie back to her usual self.

But she knew better. The remnants of the woman’s perfume still lingered on his shirt and even as she looked up, a smudge of lipstick stained the collar of his shirt. Minnie hardened quickly. “We shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”

Namjoon tried to reach out to pull her back and Minnie stepped away, holding her hand up.

“You’re drunk, please.” Minnie intertwined her fingers together, trying to relax her nerves. “Let’s just go.”

Namjoon stammered, pain panging in his chest as Minnie turned her back to him again. All he could do was grapple with the reality of what he had done and follow quietly back to work.

-

The next day began as uncomfortably as Namjoon expected. Formality consumed the daily activities as Minnie gave him the rundown of the day without looking away from her computer screen. He hated how good she was at building walls around herself, making it impossible to push through without breaking his skull or going mad.

To distract himself, Namjoon tried to drink coffee and focus on the morning reports instead. His head ached from his irritating hangover that acted as steel weights on his back.

“Your first meeting is in fifteen minutes, sir.” Minnie broke the silence, her voice modulated and her eyes strayed away from him completely.

Namjoon looked up at her properly which was a terrible mistake. It forced him to look at her face chilled and distant, her beautiful curls hugging her face, a sage green shirt and a deep brown pencil skirt with her favourite pair of crème heels. She looked lovely and further away from him than ever before. “Minnie, we need to talk about last night.” He noticed her pause, fingers hovered over the keyboard and her throat bobbing ever so slightly.

“There’s nothing to talk about, sir.” Minnie said. “You’re a single man and you were with someone. It’s perfectly human and normal but there was just work to be done. Otherwise I wouldn’t have disturbed you.”

“Stop talking like that.” Namjoon didn’t mean for it to sound like an order but he despised every minute of being treated like a stranger by her. Out of all people, not her. “Please. Be angry with me, scold me, anything but don’t do this.”

Minnie’s eyes twitched when she finally saw the melted look in his gaze, choked full of sadness and regret. The twist in her chest made her wince. She looked back down at the laptop. “You made no commitment to me, Namjoon. We work together and you’re charismatic. Realistically, you would end up with someone like that girl. Even not, leaders like you always end up in bed with those girls anyway. I’m just glad we weren’t committed.”

Namjoon let out a light breath of disbelief. “I wouldn’t have done it if we were together.”

Minnie sighed. “You can’t know that for sure and I’m not waiting to see something like that again.” Irritation crept in her tone.

Namjoon welcomed it, however. It was better than cold. “You won’t see it happen again. I wasn’t flirting with you just because I could, I wanted to. I care about you.”

Minnie blinked slowly, a part of her so willing to soften and relish herself into Namjoon’s comforting arms. But a buzz went off in the office. She pressed the message machine. “Yes?”

“Mr. Jung is here,” the assistant outside spoke back.

“Let them wait,” Namjoon said.

“We can’t let them wait.” Minnie stood to her feet and walked to the door to welcome him. “It’s better if we leave this be.”

Those words crushed any little hope left in Namjoon of reviving what they had been tenderly growing. In a way, Namjoon understood it. In all this grand allure and beauty of the world he was in, Namjoon knew of the stories of leaders taking advantage of their power, using the people around them. That night Namjoon fell into the trap. Any excuse he used wouldn’t change that he repeated history that night and Minnie was simply choosing not to be the fool that falls with him.

Defeated, Namjoon didn’t argue further, fighting to preserve whatever work bond was left between them.

-

Two weeks had passed since their confrontation. Namjoon found more comfort in drinking whiskey to calm himself down while using every ounce of his sanity not to look over at Minnie whenever they worked. They only spoke in work terms nowadays without a single whisper of something playful or happy. For a moment, they had a friendly conversation about someone else before falling back into silence.

Minnie sat up quickly when it was time for her break at work to get some tea instead of coffee since her heart kept pounding against her chest. She smelled the lingering whiskey in the room mixing in his cologne and swirling in her head like a maddening song. As she reached the kitchens, she took a deep breath, leaning against the counter.

She turned on the tea kettle, letting the sweeping sound of heat calm her down.

“The boss stressing you out?” Woosung’s voice resounded as he came to fill up his cup of coffee.

“It’s good to get some air,” Minnie said, still focusing more on the sound of the tea kettle.

“I agree,” Woosung leaned his back against the counter. “I hardly get to see you by yourself. Maybe we could get some lunch for a few minutes.”

Minnie eyed him for a moment in confusion as the tea kettle turned off, leaving them with an awkward silence. “That’s fine, I still have work to do.”

“Dinner then?” Woosung asked. “I could get one of the other congressmen to take him to a club.”

“That’s not appropriate.”

Woosung chuckled. “We heard about the actress debacle, I don’t think he cares.” He spoke in between them, relishing in the gossip like that moment wasn’t cutting into Minnie’s heart. “It’s probably best you stay away from him.”

Minnie’s expression hardened, mostly to keep herself from falling apart again. “I work with him, that’s not really possible.” She put an earl grey tea bag into her cup and poured the hot water, hyper-focusing on the warm steam and delicate smell of tea wafting in her nose. Grabbing her cup, she tried to walk back to her office before Woosung stopped her.

“Listen, I’m just saying not to get obsessed with following him around.”

“And getting lunch with you instead at the expense of my job?” Minnie asked, raising a brow. “You think I don’t know why your wife left you?”

Woosung’s expression soured as he cleared his throat.

Minnie hummed in disapproval. “You’re not different. None of you are.” She brushed past him and stomped out of the room, feeling angrier than she did in Namjoon’s office.

-

Another gathering took place on a Friday night which Minnie planned as dread seeped through her veins like a disease. She wore a black dress this time on the night of the occasion and a set of pearls that her mother gifted to her when she received this job. It kept Minnie grounded in some strange way and she cherished the Band-Aid effect of the feeling.

Namjoon wore a stylish blue suit with a tie that had flecks of gold on it, making it shine under the Crystal chandeliers. He captured everyone with a smile that seemed to have forgotten any of that puppy dog pity he had before. As she expected. Namjoon had far too much padding and allure in his life to dwell on her for too long.

Minnie was just glad she left while the wounds could still heal and fade quickly. She kept an eye on the celebrations to ensure everything ran smoothly and for the most part, it did.

Until she saw the actress, whom Minnie found out was called Jangmi, a budding star in her industry and gaining powerful connections in her social circle. She wore a pretty, glimmering green dress as she whisked through the crowd like water against stone and carried herself to Namjoon.

Namjoon caught her presence and his expression turned into that of a slight dread. Minnie recognized it but didn’t think too much. It probably was just a fling and didn’t need to be addressed, yet somehow that felt more painful.

Almost as if any feelings shared between Minnie and Namjoon were enough to be toppled by a few drinks and loose lips. Weak and frail things they built.

Much to her distaste, Namjoon’s gaze moved to find Minnie and she quickly tried to look away. For a moment, Minnie wanted to run away somewhere but then the thing she feared most and expected least happened.

“Helmina, isn’t it?” Jangmi spoke towards her, while forcefully guiding Namjoon along like she was a queen and he was her puppy. “We’re so sorry for the…inconvenience last time, dear.” She patted Namjoons shoulder, pulling on a leash. “We’ll promise to wait till after the party this time.” She giggled.

Minnie pressed her lips into a thin line. “That’s fine, Ms. Kwon.” She attempted a kind smile.

“We don’t need to trouble my secretary on delicate matters now,” Namjoon said with a nervous tick in his tone.

“Oh, I’m just tying up loose ends. I just hate awkward situations.” Jangmi grinned, staring at Minnie like she was nothing but Namjoon’s furniture, patted down and soothed after kicking into it.

“I agree.” Minnie spoke through gritted teeth.

“See? Just a bit of friendliness.” Jangmi cupped his chin, leaning in. “I’ll see you after the party then,” she muttered near his ear before walking away.

Namjoons face looked ready to show his pity and apologetics but anger fueled Minnie like molten lava. It could’ve poured through her mouth and ears if she wasn’t taking a few breaths.

Minnie turned around and finally stomped away, sounds blocked in her ears and only her own heartbeat consuming her mind. She walked up the staircase, blatantly ignoring anyone who would try to approach her. Any slight comment would’ve been enough for her to explode. She needed to get away. Capture silence where she could to preserve her sanity.

Finding the nearest room, Minnie barged inside and slammed the door behind her. She pressed into her temples to ease some of her looming headache. The thickening smells of perfume, cologne, lies and messes. So many messes and yet still. . .still Minnie yearned for him. She hated that Jangmi could touch and hold him without worrying or caring.

Minnie gripped onto her arms as if attempting to comfort herself from the dreaded mix of deep fury and painful stinging in her chest. What was worse, her vulnerable state began to corrode through the layers of her skin, showing her off as open to people like Woosung who loved picking up broken pieces like they were prizes to be had. It only made her blood curdle more.

The door opened gently.

Minnie let out a sigh of frustration. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

“It looks like if you don’t, you’ll explode,” Namjoon’s voice echoed in her like freshwater streams and warm sunlight. “So maybe a few words.”

“This is your doing.” Minnie turned to face him, fisted hands at her sides. “You made out with her once and now she thinks she’s the First Lady, gallivanting around like she owns the place.”

“She’s in show business, it’s natural for her to be dramatic.” Namjoon gestured to the door, dark brows furrowed but his voice was still soft, even loving.

She hated it. She hated every minute of it. “It’s causing a scandal.”

“Everyone’s too drunk to really notice,” he said.

“Well, I noticed, it’s my job.”

“It’s not your job to protect my reputation.” Namjoon took a step forward.

“But if your reputation is ruined then it’s a scar on mine.”

“Is that the reason?” Namjoon moved close enough to tower over her.

“Yes, that’s the reason.” Minnie’s words began to grow reluctant as her heart pounded so loud that she was worried it may have echoed in the entire room.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon muttered low and intimately, leaning until their faces were a breath apart.

Minnie’s chest rose and fell. “I’m sure.”

“You don’t sound sure,” Namjoon whispered, hands still in his pockets and only his face hovering over her own. Testing her. Teasing her.

Just at the moment Minnie found home relishing in the closeness, she woke herself up and stepped back. “This doesn’t change anything.”

Namjoon straightened himself up and opened the door, calling for a guard. “Tell Kwon Jangmi to dismiss herself from the celebrations.”

Minnie’s heart jumped in shock. “Namjoon.”

“Inappropriate conduct.”

The guard nodded.

“Wait, stop,” Minnie called out. “You can’t do that, she’ll try to make a big spectacle out of it.”

“Her presence here makes you uncomfortable so I figured.”

“No, don’t send her away.” Minnie raised her hands in defense. “I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at you.”

Namjoon dismissed the guard and closed the door again, locking it this time. “I know you are. That’s why I told you to be angry with me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Minnie said, smashing open the dam and letting it flood. “You’re a big fucking fool. We had something nice and I cared about you, more than I’ve cared about anyone and you just find the prettier actress to get yourself off for a few minutes. I know you were single and were free to do what you wanted but I don’t want that.” She lifted her shoulders. “I don’t want to see you with someone else, I don’t—I want you to be with me.” Her eyes lowered to Namjoon’s shoes as the selfish statement poured out, leaving her exposed and raw.

Namjoon felt a burst of sweetness at the sound of those words ringing in his ear. The confirmation that he so desperately wanted to hear. He walked closer, breaking the distance and holding onto her cheeks like they were pieces of heaven in his hands. He pressed his lips onto hers, warm and loving.

Minnie’s racing heart began to flutter and sing from the kiss, relishing in his fingers moving down to her jawline and neck, ensuring her skin lingered with the memory of his touch. A smile formed on her lips absentmindedly as his kisses became patterned, small pecks as light as a feather before he met his eyes with hers.

“Say it again,” Namjoon said, still cradling her cheeks.

Minnie smiled. “It’s your turn now.”

Namjoon chuckled, nudging his nose against hers. “I want to be with you too.” He kissed her cheek. “All the time.” He kissed the other cheek. “Everyday.” Lips travelled down to her neck as he guided her towards the closest wall, pressing her against the surface. Hands explored the curve of her waist, gripping it tight before moving down to the back of her thigh, lifting her and wrapping her legs around his waist.

Minnie let out a little yelp before laughing breathlessly, reaching down to unzip his pants, the warmth and heft of his member rested free on her palm.

Namjoon bit down the sweet spot of her neck, letting blood rush to skin as his hips ground against her hand stroking his length. He used a hand to push aside her panties, the cloth peeling off the wetness.

Minnie positioned him at her sodden entrance and Namjoon pushed in, snug and full of delight. She let out a small whimper as the length of him filled her to the soft edges of her cervix. Minnie rested her forehead against his shoulder, as Namjoon carefully let her adjust to the feeling.

“You’re okay?” Namjoon asked.

Minnie nodded, cupping his jawline and smiling. “I’m okay.”

Namjoon started with slow thrusts, both to be careful but also to relish in what he may have shamefully imagined more times than he wished to admit. He gently brushed her hairline, tongue exploring her mouth as his thrusts grew deeper, groaning every time she clenched around him, pushing him to his high.

Minnie let out small breaths through her nose as Namjoon overwhelmed her in a kiss. She broke it for a moment as he became rhythmic, clothes rubbing against their skin until their skin felt raw and the heat between them clouding any sense of the world outside of their bubble.

A knock resounded on the door. “Sir, a few people are calling for you.” One of the guards spoke through the wood.

Minnie bit down her bottom lip to block out any noise.

Namjoon didn’t reply, brows scrunched and focused on their pleasure. Forehead pressed as he fucked into her with more desperation.

A whimper escaped from the back of her throat before she placed a hand over her mouth.

The knock repeated. “Sir. . .they’re being insistent.”

Namjoon groaned under his breath. “Tell them to wait.” The lace of frustration in his tone sent tingles in her lower belly, already filled to burst. He smiled down at her, pressing a kiss on the back of her hand before grinding into her, member pulsating and twitching as he rolled to the edge of his orgasm.

Minnie’s own climax ricocheted through her body like fireworks as he kept rubbing into her clit until her legs shook around his waist. His groans and moans vibrated through her body as she felt the warm liquid fill her to the brim. She let out a shaky breath, kissing his cheek.

Namjoon rested inside her as they began to catch their breaths, finding comfort and care in their embrace while chaos brewed outside. Finally, he placed Minnie gently back onto the floor before cleaning themselves up in the bathroom. Minnie’s legs wobbled as she walked for a moment which earned a chuckle from Namjoon.

“Sea legs?” Namjoon asked.

Minnie slapped his arm playfully. “Go and tend to your subjects.”

Namjoon smirked, giving her a final kiss as he returned to the prim and proper leader. “Yes, ma’am.” As he opened the door, their work faces formed back onto their flushed expressions naturally. And this time, Minnie welcomed it knowing behind that expression was someone that was only for her eyes to see.

masterlist

[rkivepetals]

Anon said,

Overprotective bsf Joonie! You can make him a little perverted (or maybe too much🫣), with bimbo oc! The rest, it’s up to you honestly<3

Hi hi, love to be back here ! We are so close to 1k omg! Also, I’m sorry for delaying such cute requests (I’ve wrote them just couldn’t post it :3) so yes! This one’s really out of my pocket since I’ve never quite wrote (and understood) bimbo etc but I’ve tried my best! Hope u like it!

Also can we please talk about how fucking handsome my man is? Just look at that face my god.

Mature content, 16+. Cursing, smoking etc.

It’s quite short don’t u worry!

Drabble masterlist ♡

“This is illegal?” You raised your brows, finger enveloped around the cigarette stick. Namjoon smoked beside you, “Yes because we’re doing this on private property.” You chuckle, inhaling and blowing out smoke. “Fuck, this feels even more better when I do this on a private fuckin’ property.” Namjoon rolled his eyes, “did you even understand what I meant?”

He looks at you, you pout at him. “No.” He chuckles, ironically. Looking down at your legs beside his, in a frivolous skirt, thighs glistening with the orange sunlight. He bites his lip, looking ahead instead. You inhale the cigarette one more time, “Jungkook invited me to his birthday party.” He raised his brows, “Jungkook? That dickhead?”

You rolled your eyes, clicking your tongue in dismissal. “Stop calling him a dickhead, he’s cute.” “He’s failing school, what’s even cute about him?” You squint at him, “Not everyone wants to be a fucking topper, Joon. Get a grip.” He dismissively shook his head, “isn’t that what should be the priority though?” You grunt in frustration, “Shut up!”

He chuckled, “What? Are you going?” You threw the cigarette and smashed it with your shoes, “definitely!” You twirl a bit, standing in front of him as he raises his brows at you. “If someone finds out, you’re going to jail.” You shove a middle finger on his face, “Girl, i’on care!” You say and pout, looking around.

“Should we steal this car?”

“Y/n are you fucking crazy?” He says, still leaning against the dark blue shiny car.

“What? Isn’t it cute?”

He scoffed, “Dumb fuck, you wanna be a criminal so bad.”

You pout, “I’m your dumb fuck though.”

He chuckled, seeing you act like a kid. High a bit due to the smoke in your lungs.

“By the way!” You bend a little, he eyes your chest. Clearing his throat, trying to look away but you just lean a bit more. “Are you coming?” You flutter your lashes as he looks at your face, “at his birthday party?” You nod your head, he clicks his tongue “No.” Your pout Widened, “why?!”

Standing straight, stomping like a kid. “I’ve shit to do, girl. Especially when we have a test coming up.” You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder, “C’mon Joon! It’d be fun!” You whined, he squints. He prefers the way you whine to him, more than quite anything else In the world. He doesn’t answer as you sigh, “Really? He loves you.”

“Who?”

“Jungkook! Don’t you know he’s gay?”

He squints, “What are you saying?” He asks as if what-the-fuck.

“No, he once told me in the cafeteria. He was bi way before but lately, he’s into dudes. Like Legit. He even asked about your number!”

“I hope you didn’t give it to him—“

“I did!”

And his phone rang.

You smirk, seeing him exhaustively put his phone down. “So are you still not coming?” “No.” You grunt, “y’know what? Fuck you bruh. I’m being so nice to you!” You scold, hands on your waist as he chuckled at your cuteness. “Don’t you have a week of homework piled up?” You shrugged, “I’ll copy yours.”

He shook his head, “Girl do you even wanna have a career?” You clicked your tongue, “not the time. Tell me are you in or not? I’d be better pulling In Jin with me if you’re not.” He stands up, “is he gay too?” He drops the cigar, “Dude shut up. He’s a heartthrob. I honestly kinda like him too.” You shyly smile as namjoon walks toward you, “No, I’ll be there to pick you up.”

You pout, “Aww. Little Joonie is finally going to have fun.” You pinch his nose and run away, he sighs, “My god, y/n.”

At about nine on the same night, namjoon horned his car ahead of your dorm. Received a call instead from you, “I’m already at the party! Don’t go to the dorm!” Loud music bangs in the background, “Whom did you go with?” “Jin! He came early! Just come over!” Namjoon clenched his jaw, hanging up and speeding his car to the party venue.

When stepped inside the sweaty, velvety walls congested with people— he knew it was going to be a task to find you. What was even more Satire is that he wore a black suit, while people around him were dressed up as animals. He frowned, “what bullshit is this?” He pierced through the crowd, girls dressed up as different characters with bunny and fairy masks on, swaying their hips at the slutty music behind.

Boys on bar counters, drinking in their little club. “Y/n?!” He yells through, “namjoon!” His ear twitched as he looked to his left, you waved your hand at him. Big white bunny ears, the smallest top he’s ever seen on you and a pair of shorts that gave a view of half of your ass. Jin beside you, drinking and eyeing you up and down.

Namjoon seeped through, pushing people harshly beside them. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” He glared at you, and you blinked. “What? I thought you changed your mind when you didn’t reply to my texts. Check your phone, I sent you so many messages about it.” He fumed, “You should’ve called instead.” You slightly scoffed, a little embarrassed about his behaviour.

“What are you even getting mad at?!” He sighs, trying to calm down. “Studious little Joon can’t handle his bimbo best friend having fun.” Jin sipped his beer as namjoon glared at him, “What did you just tell her?” He pushed Jin on the chest. “What? Isn’t she a little dumb bitch ready to be fucked by anyone and everyone?” Namjoon held his collar, “mind your language, fucktard.”

“Namjoon!” You held his arms, Jin gulped and glared at namjoon. Harshly pushing Jin away, he held your hand and took you out instead. “Where are we going—“ and the only thing namjoon did was pin you against the doors and kiss you sloppily. You flutter close your lashes and hold his soft hair, kissing him back. Though you were confused the moment why he would do that, it seemed like an obvious thing now.

He pulses away, one hand Beneath your ass and one over your neck. “You’re not allowed to be with anyone. Only I have the right to call you a little bimbo, hmm?” You flutter your lashes, a little shy. Giggling like a girl instead, you leaned in and kissed him again. A little more passionate and sloppy this time.

He smiles in the midst, picking you up and taking you to his car, “You’re getting fucked tonight.” You smooch his lips, thighs being squished by his palms. “Glad to hear that.”

[kthyg]

elites: masterpost

Perfection is what people thought of when it comes to the seven elites of Bangtan Royal Academy, but underneath the perfect facade, there is chaos.

The divine, raw chaos not everyone knew of the chaos inside of them, not even between the elites themselves. Granted, they might know each other better than anyone else but only the surfaces and have yet to reach the depth of it. What lies underneath the facade is chaos and you happened to be part of the chaos or worst,

You are the chaos.

Pairing: BTS x OCs (1 story per member; Member x OC)

Genre: Dark romance, high school au (legal ages), enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, friends to enemies, strangers to lovers, strangers to enemies, strangers to friends, angst, fluff, smut

Rating: 18+

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The description of the BTS members in this story does not reflect nor portray them in real life. Everything in this story only fits in imagination and does not apply outside of imagination.

Masterlist | Navigation

Dedication: To them who my heart desires for this to be dedicated.

Note: The order is subject to change, not in chronological order.

[#1] LOST & FOUND | KTH [M]

COMING SOON.

[#2] DEVIL’S EMPIRE | JJK [M]

COMING SOON.

[#3] HARMONY & MELODY | MYG [M]

COMING SOON.

[#4] DUTY & HONOUR | KSJ [M]

COMING SOON.

[#5] LIES & DECEIT | KNJ [M]

COMING SOON.

[#6] MASK PARADE | JHS [M]

COMING SOON.

[#7] FORGOTTEN MUSE | PJM [M]

COMING SOON.

All rights reserved © 2023 kthyg. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost without permission.

[magicshopaholic]

Moving On (Namjoon x OC)

Summary: BTS performs in Amsterdam and Namjoon invites you to the afterparty.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Genre: Angst, smut

Word count: 8.2K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language, angst, sex, nudity, making out, fingering, cumming, arguing,

A/N: Takes place a little over a month after Final Destination.

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2,  @margopinkerton, @faearchives,  @whoisbts, @purpleseoul7, @sumzysworld, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)

Listen to: "where does the good go" by tegan and sara

namjoon masterlist | main masterlist

Joon [13:45] Did you get the email from Big Hit?

Kaya [13:50] Yes

Joon [13:51] The number at the end is their London office. They’ve been briefed already and have additional security available for all European locations.

Kaya [13:54] Okay

There’s a break in the chat here. Kaya stares at the time stamp, trying to picture him scrambling to find something else to say.

Joon [14:15] The company managed to track down the account that uploaded the video. Account has been taken down and they’ve sued for invasion of privacy.

Kaya [14:20] Okay 

Joon [14:22] They’ve also offered to add damages to the suit, in case we want that. Do you?

Kaya [14:25] Not really

Joon [14:26] Okay then

Another break. Kaya scans the time stamps again, even though she’s memorised it by now. She remembers the three dots indicating him typing, seeing them appear and disappear over and over again. 

Joon [14:40] How are you?

Kaya [14:45] Fine

Joon [14:46] How‘s work?

Kaya [14:48] Fine

Joon [14:50] Kaya I’m trying

Kaya [14:51] Class starting, got to go

He hadn’t responded and she hadn’t expected him to. Four days post break-up hadn’t been nearly long enough for her to let go of her anger but now, four weeks in, it’s only been replaced with an equal amount of sadness and longing.

Every conversation has been exactly this terse and abrupt, the last one being a week ago. It had appeared when she’d been teaching an elective class and it had taken every ounce of her will to not check it until the class ended. As it turned out, she couldn’t even think of a decent response to it.

“How can he possibly think of asking me this?” Kaya mutters, earphones in as she walks home. It’s dusk, a gorgeous time of the day, but she holds no appreciation for it right now.

“Wouldn’t it be worse if he didn’t ask?” Dilara asks reasonably. She’s in her car by the sound of it, a low hum audible of whichever fancy car of hers she’s decided to take out today.

Kaya swallows, pondering this. It might be, but it doesn’t address the problem she’s too embarrassed to voice out loud: it should be harder for him to ask. The thought that he might not be taking this break-up as hard as she is kills something inside of her, as if she’d misunderstood everything in the last three years. 

Her strategy to save herself from hearing the truth had been to distance herself from everyone, including Yoongi, who had texted her out of the blue one day to ask her if she was okay (she hadn’t responded); Seokjin, who seemed to skirt the topic altogether and sounded as though he was speaking to someone very sick; and especially Dilara, who Kaya knew would be the only one with the capacity to ask insightful questions that she herself was too afraid to.

“It’s just… strange,” is all she can manage. “He hopped on a flight, shot a few emails, came over and broke up with me and then went right back to his schedule, all in one day. And now he's inviting me to a party?"

“After-party, so it won’t be, like… crazy,” Dilara clarifies. “And the concert before it.” 

“I’m definitely not going to his concert.”

“Of course not,” she agrees breezily. “I wouldn’t expect you to. But the party… I mean, it’s a good thing, isn’t it? He doesn’t want you to be strangers.”

Kaya slows down as she approaches the river. She’s taken the long route home today - anything to prolong the commute before another night in her tainted apartment with memories on every surface.

“I don’t know if I want to see him.” I don’t know if I can. “He wants to see me, though, apparently,” she states after a moment.

Dilara doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I mean -“ She begins before pausing, then trying again. “I’m sure it’s going to be torture for him to see you. But even that’s better than not seeing you.”

Kaya doesn’t even realise she’d been holding her breath; she exhales as slowly as possible so as to not make a sound, both at Dilara’s words as well as her answering the unasked question.

She doesn’t respond immediately, though. Now that they’re down this route of addressing concerns she’s been harbouring in her heart for weeks, Kaya feels the rest of them on the verge of tumbling out of her mouth.

"You've seen him a bit these last couple of months,” she ventures, lowering her voice and leaning backwards against the railing overlooking the river. “Does it seem like he misses me at all?"

Dilara hums, a little too knowingly for Kaya’s liking. “Of course, he does. He’s not the most expressive when it comes to his feelings but aside from Tae last year, I don't think I've met a more miserable person."

Kaya waits for the swell of happiness or relief at this news, but all it brings with it is a new wave of anger and frustration.

“Thanks.”

"Look, speaking from experience, it's not easy seeing your ex after a difficult break-up,” says Dilara, sighing. “But sometimes you don't realise just how much you needed to see them until you see them, even if it's just to gain some closure."

Closure. It sounds… final. Kaya can’t picture it, being virtual strangers eventually, just bits of each other’s past. Ex-boyfriend, girl of his dreams, the one that got away. She hates all those words because they just don’t apply, not really. They can’t.

She closes her eyes and presses the heel of her palms into them to intercept the wetness forming, not caring that Dilara is still on the other end of the line. She and Namjoon had stood right here, years ago, living in the bliss of a new couple in fresh love. He’d brought her a bunch of tiny yellow flowers from the park, part-cheesy and part-genuine, eyes twinkling and dimples soft.

Kaya squeezes her eyes shut at the memory, terrified at how the edges of it are already blurring. 

“I don’t think I’ll go,” she murmurs, opening her eyes to stare at the ground. “I can’t.” 

“Are you sure?” Dilara sounds slightly surprised.

“Yeah. Two days from now is… it’s too soon. I’ll either cry or yell or… I don’t know. It’s too hard.”

“Oh.” She’s quiet for a few seconds. “Okay. If you’re sure. Let me know if you want to get together on Sunday,” she adds. “Brunch or something.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

—

The next day, Kaya is in the library again, grading papers and wishing she could go back to being a grad student who’s biggest problem was a pop quiz. She’s deliberately chosen a table at the back, away from where the students generally sit, which is why she looks up in surprise when someone comes to her table.

“H-hi, Kaya.” The student waves rests one hand on the back of an empty hair and waves hesitantly with the other.

“Um… hi.” Kaya tries not to frown too conspicuously, for she’s sure she knows this girl. 

Svetlana. Savannah. 

“Elena, right?”

“Yeah,” she answers with a nervous smile. “Um… are you busy?”

Kaya glances at the stacks of papers, books and laptop on the table. “Kind of, yeah.”

“Okay. Well… I just wanted to say hi.”

Kaya nods awkwardly and forces a small smile on her face. “Hi.”

Elena nods, tucking her hair behind her ears. She looks like she’s about to leave but at the last moment, sits down at the table. Kaya feels her smile fade for she really, really wants to be alone right now.

“How - how are things going?” She sounds nervous - extremely so. She seems to be fidgeting slightly and constantly touching her hair. 

“Great,” says Kaya shortly, going back to her paper and hoping she’ll take the hint. “You?”

“Not bad, overall. I guess. Classes are hard and mid-terms are coming up as well…” Elena trails off. “Any plans for the weekend?”

Trying not to sigh, Kaya shakes her head. “Not really. You?”

“Well… I’m going to a concert tomorrow,” she answers hurriedly, and it’s clear that she’s been waiting to divulge this information, oblivious to how Kaya’s heart stops. “It should be fun. Do - do you listen to BTS?”

An unexpected notification from this morning floats into her kind. BTS continues their Europe leg by arriving in Amsterdam, ready to kick off the summer in style!

“No,” she answers truthfully.

“Oh.” Elena is quiet for a moment. “They’re really… good.” 

There’s some awkward silence during which Kaya deliberately writes comments on the paper she’s grading, scratching the pen on the paper and wishing Elena would leave.

“It’ll be good to get out of campus. The people here are kind of intimidating. The parties are pretty wild, too,” she murmurs after a moment, sounding uncomfortable.

Kaya nods absently, uncharacteristically satisfied with the knowledge that she might be intimidating this unwanted guest. “Maybe you’re going to the wrong parties,” she offers.

Elena lets out a nervous laugh again. “Maybe. I never see you at them, though. There’s one, tonight, in the common room. Maybe you could come,” she suggests lightly. “Bring a friend or - or your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she answers flatly, not looking up.

“You - oh.” There’s a note of surprise in her voice. “Oh,” she repeats, this time seemingly to herself. “Are you sure?” she blurts out.

Kaya’s eyes snap up to glare at her. “Pretty sure.”

Elena’s eyes widen. “Oh, of - of course,” she stutters. “Sorry, that - that was a stupid question. Sorry.” She swallows and looks at her lap.

Kaya closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, immediately feeling guilty for snapping at an innocent bystander in this situation. “Elena, I… I really need to get these papers done,” she tells her, her voice one of forced calm. “So…”

The blonde finally seems to understand and awkwardly stands up. “Okay. Um, see you around,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear again. 

Kaya nods as she leaves, Namjoon’s invitation swimming in her mind tantalisingly. She can’t ignore it anymore, the fact that they’re in the same city, her city. If she’s not wrong, he’ll do the concert tomorrow night, the group will probably stay the night and depart by Sunday afternoon or evening and she will probably never see him again.

She attempts to continue grading the paper she was working on when Elena interrupted, but when she finds herself reading the same stupid sentence for the fourth time without retaining anything, she begins packing up, ready to head home.

—

Joon [18:42] Hope to see you there tonight

Kaya, with a loss as to how to respond to this, simply did not. She can’t imagine he would be texting her during his concert, but she also knows he has before, if the situation was urgent enough to demand it. 

She straightens the black dress against her hips and tilts her head at her reflection. It’s a simple dress, plain black, form-fitting and reaching below her knees, but it’s quite possibly the most gorgeous, sexiest dress she owns. 

If she and Namjoon were together, she would have worn it tonight with no hesitation because it would have driven him insane. After weeks of being apart, seeing her in this dress would have rendered him incapable of staying in work mode without dirty texts, flirty touches and eyes from across the room undressing her. Even now, with a bare face, her hair tied into a loose bun and no footwear, the dress is a game-changer.

She gives herself a few moments to imagine this paradise, one that might have come true tonight had she never told him about the break-in. Then, she silently unzips the dress and climbs out of the black fabric pooled around her feet. Tucking it back into her closet, she looks for something else.

Dilara [18:50] In case you change your mind, sharing the location here [Location]

Dilara’s text had come minutes after Namjoon’s, and Kaya has to imagine it was a genuine coincidence. Although she’d replied to neither, it was the second text that caused her to change her mind - that, and the lingering fear that if she didn’t go today, she didn’t know how either of them would be able to maneuver a situation to see each other again.

The concert should end in a little over an hour. Her phone pings again and she groans, for she doesn’t think she can take any more of their unsubtle attempts at convincing her to go tonight. It’s not Namjoon or Dilara, though, but Adam Fischer, her thirty-something thesis advisor, asking if she wants to discuss the coming week’s class schedule tonight.

Kaya shakes her head as she types out a reply (Sorry, I can’t tonight. Will set up a meeting for first thing Monday if that’s okay?), a little rueful. Namjoon heavily disliked Adam, despite having no concrete reason for doing so. He’d always suspected Adam of having feelings for her, even though Adam hadn’t said or done anything to make her think he might. Part of her wonders if she could somehow ditch the party for this meeting and still make sure that the news travelled to Namjoon through the grapevine (Dilara), and if that would still piss him off even now.

She immediately cringes at the pettiness of it, however, sending her reply to Adam and heading into the shower.

The party is at the rooftop restaurant of the hotel next to the concert venue, and presumably where BTS is staying while in Amsterdam. It isn’t as crowded as she was anticipating, although the music is fairly loud. It looks more like a fancy houseparty, and even a few seconds in, Kaya can spot a handful of vaguely famous people in attendance. She looks around for a familiar face, preferably Dilara or Yoongi or one of the younger boys, wishing she’d called ahead and trying not to think about the fact that in spite of not RSVP-ing, her name was on the guest list.

She takes another hesitant step in and audibly sighs when she spots Taehyung, who, for reasons best known to himself, has accessorised his outfit with an ascot. He seems to be in an animated conversation with Jungkook, while standing in between them and facing ahead, with loose curls tumbling down her shoulders and looking slightly bored, is…

“Kaya!”

Dilara’s mouth forms her name over the music as she brushes past her boyfriend and his friend and hurries towards Kaya, looking both happy and relieved to see her. “You look hot!” she exclaims when she reaches her.

“Oh -” Kaya looks down self-consciously; she’d settled for a straight strapless top and jeans, unable to justify dressing sexier without seeming like she was trying too hard for her ex-boyfriend. “Thanks. And you look…” She frowns slightly at Dilara’s mini-dress and go-go boots, with a slightly out-of-place gold ring hanging around her neck. “... like Daphne Blake.”

Dilara’s face visibly falls. “I look like a cartoon character?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Well, a very pretty cartoon character,” she adds quickly. “Especially with the headband. But… why?”

She rolls her eyes. “Taehyung picked it - but I’m sure it’s not because of Daphne Blake.” Spotting Kaya’s confused expression, she shrugs sheepishly. “We got into an argument yesterday about who has better taste, so we decided to go shopping at The Nine Streets and pick each other’s outfits for tonight.”

Kaya raises her eyebrows, something seemingly clicking into place. “So the ascot is your doing?”

“M-hm.” She nods in satisfaction before her eyes widen. “Oh, hey! An ascot - like Fred!” She lets out a low whistle at this realisation and laughs, while Kaya nods knowingly, feeling the urge to smile for the first time in what feels like weeks. “Not planned but zero regrets. I wonder if Tae knows that - oh.”

Kaya cuts her off mid-sentence with a hug, suddenly immensely grateful for Dilara. She can’t remember the last time she’d let anyone into her life this much with the exception of Namjoon; but just maybe, when she’d been happy with him and her guard had been lowered, Dilara had slipped in without warning as well.

She tightens her arms around Kaya and rubs her back. “It’s good to see you, too,” she says, sounding part-surprised and part-delighted. “It’s been a while but I promise that we will still - oh, hey.” The change in tone is abrupt. “Incoming.”

By the way her voice immediately lowers, Kaya is sure she knows what Dilara is referring to. Her heart beating a mile a minute, she pulls away from the hug and turns as casually as she can.

Her first thought is that he looks thinner - visibly so. Well, he’s on tour, says a voice in her head but Kaya suspects that’s not the only reason, for he’d been on tour when he’d broken up with her as well.

His hair is a silvery blond, looking almost metallic; dressed simply in a black T-shirt and  jeans, he runs a hand through his hair so it falls gracefully around his face as he approaches her, his face unreadable.

“Hi,” he says, and it sounds like all the breath has been let out of him with just one word. He swallows and straightens his shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face, the dimple faintly visible. “It’s good to see you, Kaya.”

Kaya nods, unable to speak and overcome with a sudden urge to cry. “You, too,” she murmurs, glancing at the floor and blinking rapidly before looking back up at him, a bit defiantly.

“I’m glad you decided to come.”

She nods again, her chest twisting at how normal he sounds. He’s standing far away from her as well, as though to make it clear in every way possible that they’re not together. 

“Hope you had a good concert,” she ventures, recalling the grad student who’d accosted her yesterday, practically beside herself at attending a BTS concert. “Backstage must have been hectic.”

A flicker of something appears in his eyes for a moment, possibly with memories of backstage. Wishes of luck, last minute hugs, sweaty and passionate kisses fueled by adrenaline. But it disappears instantly and Kaya wonders if she imagined it.

“It was,” he answers, nodding. He slides his hands into his pockets smoothly, leaning back on his heels and his smile widening a little. “But worth it as always. The crew did well.”

Kaya doesn’t even bother nodding this time; all of a sudden, she regrets coming here tonight. Dilara has left, she just realises, and Namjoon is acting like they’re acquaintances at best, making her feel stupid and yet immensely grateful that she didn’t wear the sexy black dress.

At that moment, his eyes flicker to something behind her. “I’m sorry, I just need to go and say hi to a couple of people. But enjoy your night. It’s an open bar,” he adds, smiling and nodding politely before brushing past her and walking away.

Kaya doesn’t move; she doesn’t think she can. Something heavy feels like it’s settled on her chest, the weight of confusion, disbelief and crushing disappointment threatening to suffocate her. She has no idea what she’d been expecting; maybe arguing, fighting, crying together again - but not him not caring. Not this.

Namjoon continues walking in the opposite direction for as long as he can keep Kaya in his peripheral vision, both guilty and relieved when she doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t think he can look her in the eye if she does, witness the pain and hurt in her face that close.

He catches Seokjin’s eye and hurries over to him. Seokjin raises his eyebrows and seems to guess what might have transpired, ushering him over to the other end of the circular bar and out of Kaya’s line of sight.

“How did it go?”

Namjoon rests his palms on the bar and shakes his head, no words coming to him at the moment and feeling like he could throw up. He can’t fathom how he did it, how he stood there before her and didn’t immediately pull her to him, or break down and ask her to forgive him for doing the only thing he knew to do.

“Drink this.” Seokjin slides a glass to him and Namjoon takes it without hesitation, taking a huge gulp and waiting for it to sting his sinuses. 

“This is water,” he states hoarsely, frowning at the glass.

“Cold water,” corrects Seokjin. “It’ll help clear your head.”

Namjoon takes another sip and places the glass down, dropping his head into his hands. “I can’t do this. How do I tell her I can’t do this? How do I ask her to -“ But he breaks off here, his mind swimming with the sight of her bare shoulders and exposed collarbones, imagining how they would feel if he held her.

“Okay.” Seokjin exhales through his nose and pauses. “Look, I have to ask. You’ve seen the state she is in. And you’re…” He struggles for a moment “...like this. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to ask her to get back -“

“No.” The answer is instant, although it’s partly a habit by now. As he does every time his mind tries to convince him otherwise, Namjoon forces the memory of her phone call to the forefront of his mind, the fear in her voice and  devastation on her face when he’d entered her apartment.

“But maybe this is -“

“No.” 

Seokjin is silent and Namjoon can tell that he doesn’t approve. Please don’t ask me again, hyung. He doesn’t know if he did the right thing by inviting her but he couldn’t imagine not doing it either, not being right here in her city, knowing she was so close that he could almost smell the coconut and vanilla in the air and still not see her in the flesh.

“If you’re sure,” says Seokjin at last. “If you are, then I guess you did well. Just… just be normal around her. Keep a normal distance, talk about normal things and…” He half-shrugs, sounding uncertain. “She’s smart. She’ll understand. If you’re sure you want to do this, then… she’ll get it.”

Normal. Namjoon knows what he means, but he wants to tell him that none of this is normal. Not touching her, not being honest with her, not being with her - none of it is normal. 

“She’s talking to Yoongi right now,” he adds, and Namjoon turns to see them near the stairs to the top floor. Kaya’s back is to him, her head lowered slightly and her thumbs hooked onto the back pockets of her jeans, the material hugging her hips and curving down her backside… He swallows and looks away.

“This is your chance,” says Seokjin. “Go and mingle. Let her see you moving on - even if you actually aren’t,” he clarifies quickly. “It won’t be pleasant but it might encourage her to do the same.”

Namjoon isn’t sure of the wisdom of this strategy but ever since the cause of his break-up had been revealed to the older members (and surely to Taehyung at least, by Dilara), he’d almost been relieved that he wouldn’t have to make every decision on his own.

He tries his best to navigate the party after that, making empty conversation with guests, using every bit of remaining energy and willpower to plaster a smile on his face. All the while, part of his attention is constantly on Kaya, registering her familiar figure alone at the bar as she nurses a beer, sometimes with Dilara. 

Be normal. Seokjin’s words start holding less and less meaning with every passing minute, especially when he spots Kaya having finished her drink and he’s struck with the sudden fear that she will leave the party. In an effort to be as normal as he can, Namjoon heads over to the bar where she’s scanning the life-size menu half-heartedly, arms folded across her chest.

“Like anything?” he asks humbly. Long Island Iced Tea or a Mai Tai - depends on the flavours. His heart jolts when she shoots him a doubtful look and doesn’t answer, almost as if she’s wary of talking to him. She leans over the bar and gives the bartender a smile that makes his heart drop, especially when he grins back.

“Komt de mai tai in mango?” she asks, half-pouting when he shakes his head. “Een biertje, alsjeblieft,” she says finally, taking her second beer and turning away from the bar.

Namjoon doesn’t remember ever feeling this distant from her. “I’m glad you came tonight,” he tries again, choosing to look at her even though she’s facing away.

Kaya nods, pursing her lips and looking ahead. “Yeah, you said that already.” But her voice trembles ever so slightly, or maybe he just knows her so well that he’s sure it’s not a case of her not wanting to look at him - she can’t look at him.

It’s all on him now. He started this; if there is any hope of them still staying in each other’s lives, it’s down to him to make it happen. 

“How’s your dissertation going?” he asks, hoping her work is a topic she might open up on.

She shrugs after a moment. “Off schedule,” she answers shortly. “A lot of variables hanging in the air.”

“Did you get into the research project you’d applied for?”

It’s momentary but it appears: the corner of her mouth tilts upwards. “Yeah,” she admits, finally looking at him, albeit hesitantly. “Guess I’ll have a lot more time to focus on it now,” she murmurs, the hint of a smile fading.

Namjoon’s heart sinks. She’s so angry with him; it’s palpable and not something he has ever been on the receiving end of. Her hand hangs by her side; his own itches to link his fingers with his, maybe tug her to him or lead her out of this stupid party where he can plead for her to just look at him.

“Well,” he says, then pauses. “I’m glad you could get the time off tonight. Must have been hard.”

“M-hm, not really.” She shakes her head. “Adam wanted to meet but I’ll probably catch up with him later,” she adds nonchalantly.

Namjoon nods, his hand tightening around his glass. He can’t tell if she’s trying to provoke him, for they do work closely; close enough that Adam’s intentions have always been a point of disagreement for them. He’d never been able to explain to her just how much he hated the way her advisor looked at her when she didn’t notice, how his hugs always lingered a moment too long or how he insisted on calling her late in the evenings to discuss work.

He’s distracted momentarily by Jungkook, who approaches them while bopping effortlessly to the music and stops in between them, turning to face in the same direction as Namjoon and Kaya. He’s definitely tipsy; the smile on his face is too big and he doesn’t seem to be reading the room at all.

“Dilara is a really good dancer, isn’t she?” he says loudly in English to no one in particular. Namjoon frowns and follows his gaze to see Dilara, Taehyung and Hoseok dancing, before turning back to look at Jungkook. On his other side, Kaya is also frowning at him, tilting her head curiously. Their eyes meet and she raises her eyebrows slightly.

Namjoon fights a smile as Kaya half-chuckles and looks away, his heart twisting with longing at how much he misses her. She looks so incredibly beautiful; his eyes sting when he realises that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

“I’m gonna -“ He gestures vaguely and walks away in the opposite direction, desperate to be anywhere but around her before his resolve breaks.

The next half hour is a flurry of faces; Namjoon distracts himself with every single individual at the party, making small talk and exchanging unfunny jokes and hyper aware of Kaya occasionally glancing at him.

He knows, because he’s watching her, too, doing his best to make sure she doesn’t see him looking. He can’t even help it; it’s almost muscle memory at this point.

“Who are you looking at?” The woman he’s talking to asks him point-blank.

Namjoon flushes, realising he’d been staring at Kaya over her shoulder while she’d been speaking.

“No one,” he answers quickly. “Sorry.”

The twenty-something woman frowns curiously. “Are you sure? I’m not offended.”

“It’s… nothing.” He shakes his head and looks at the floor. 

“Ex-girlfriend?”

Ex. Not trusting himself to speak, Namjoon nods. 

“Hm.” She hums, somewhat sympathetically. “Bad break-up?”

“Pretty bad.”

“I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “It’s never easy to be around an ex if it hasn’t ended well.”

“Yeah, well,” he says, desperate to change the topic. “All part of the process, right?”

“Right,” she says encouragingly. “Plus, once you’re past this phase, the one where you constantly want to die, you can begin the drink and eat and hook up as much as you want stage with no judgement.”

He chuckles politely, the prospect sounding horrendous. “Thanks. Feels good to laugh for real.”

She smiles wider and, before he knows it, leans forward and presses a kiss against his lips.

It takes Namjoon a couple of seconds of pure shock before he jumps backwards. “Whoa. What -“ His heart races uncomfortably. “What was that?”

“Sorry,” she says slowly, looking a little confused. “I thought… you wanted to make your ex jealous. Isn’t that where you were going with this?”

“No,” he clarifies immediately. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t want to - no.” In the midst of his minor crisis, he notes how the woman looks almost mortified.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s fine,” he cuts her off, suddenly feeling horribly guilty. He looks up out of habit and sees, unmistakably, Kaya leaving the restaurant, her long dark hair and the shimmery dark blue of her top disappearing out the door.

—

The night has gotten chillier in the last couple of hours and the cool wind hits her bare shoulders the moment she steps out, but Kaya barely feels it. She’s not thinking right now; thinking is what’s got them here, thinking about everything and overthinking to the point of fleeing a restaurant.

“Kaya!” 

Her feet increase their pace automatically the same time her stomach flips, but he’s taller and faster and he reaches her before she can even reach the elevator.

“Kaya,” he repeats hurriedly, reaching and grabbing her elbow. “Wait, please. I’m sorry -”

“Why did you even invite me here?” she asks, cutting him off and turning around to face him. She’s so tired; she didn’t think break-ups could be this exhausting. “You’ve barely said anything to me. Was it to show me in person how you’re moving on? Because if that’s the case, then… message received.”

Namjoon shakes his head immediately; he looks exhausted as well, and Kaya is once again struck by how much thinner he is, overcome with a mixture of empathy and frustration at him. 

“That was not - I didn’t plan that,” he says, sighing. “I don’t even know who she is. She kissed me and it wasn’t… come on, does it look like I’m moving on?” he asks, raising his arms helplessly.

Kaya stares at him and then sighs, shaking her head. “Why did you invite me here?” she asks again, less defensive this time.

“Because I wanted to see you,” he says at once.

She stares at him. “Well, you’ve seen me,” she says, sniffing. “Can I go now?”

“Kaya…”

“What?”

Namjoon runs a hand through his hair, looking lost for words. “Please don’t -“ He breaks off abruptly before taking a step closer to her, his height both large and comforting. “I don’t want you to be sad. I’m sorry.”

Too late. “You’re not supposed to care how I feel. Not anymore.”

He lets out a humourless chuckle. “What?”

“We’re over.” She can hear the tremble in her voice as she crosses her arms across her chest again. “You said it yourself. You’re not supposed to care how I feel.”

“Really?” He narrows his eyes at her. “You think this break-up had anything to do with how I feel about you? You know as I do that it didn’t.” When she doesn’t answer, he sighs. “I did this because I care.”

“If you say so.”

He pokes his tongue into his cheek. “Are you deliberately trying to provoke me or something?”

“Provoke you into what?” she blurts out. “What - what is that you want, exactly? What do you want us to do? Just circle around in each other’s orbits for the rest of our lives, while still being - while still feeling the way we do?” she asks, avoiding her almost-slip of tongue. “We’re just supposed to stay not be together and still stay in each other’s lives? What - what do you want?”

Namjoon opens his mouth but falls silent; it’s clear he hasn’t thought that far ahead - or he can’t say it out loud. “I want…” He begins, before pausing and starting again. “I want… you to be happy,” he says eventually. “And safe.” 

She scoffs and he bristles. 

“I’m serious. I -” He breaks off when someone exits the restaurant, his gaze following them until they’re out of sight before he turns back to her. “This is hard for me, too, you know? Why is it so hard for you to believe I might want you to be happy?”

Kaya exhales but doesn’t answer, because it isn’t hard to believe, not even a little bit. It’s unfortunately the most believable thing he’s ever said to her which means she can’t even fight it.

“How?” she asks finally. “By moving on, like you were pretending to do?”

Namjoon bites his lip and his eyes glaze over, and she knows he’s picturing it. His eyes fall to the floor but he nods slowly anyway. “Yeah, I guess. As long as I don’t have to watch it,” he adds in a mutter.

It’s really over. Kaya feels her eyes well up. “Fine,” she answers quietly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find someone to move on with tonight.” She turns to leave but feels him stop her again. “What?” she snarls.

“Kaya, I -” The lift opens and a handful of people tumble out, holding merchandise and talking loudly. Namjoon’s eyes widen and he immediately grabs her arms and walks her back into a corner, just as the group turns into their corridor and towards the restaurant.

“What are you -”

But the second lift opens just then and they hear the sound of a second group of voices. Namjoon swears under his breath and pushes open a door behind her, walking her back further into the tiny dark room and letting the door swing shut behind him.

“What is wrong with -“

“It’s press,” he hisses, and she falls silent.

He peers out into the corridor through the small window in the door; there’s no light except for the bit through the window and from a skylight in the ceiling. Kaya can smell something vaguely citric that she decides is floor cleaner; they are in a janitor’s closet.

She and Namjoon are frozen in place, his hands still on her arms and hers on his torso to keep from losing her balance. It’s been a long time since they’ve been this close; it takes Kaya a few seconds to realise that the voices outside have disappeared, but he still hasn’t moved away.

Almost as if he’s subconsciously heard her, his thumbs stroke her arm once. The simple touch makes all the anger crumble away for a moment, especially now that it’s just them with the rest of the world shut outside. Kaya hesitates for a moment, then gently rests her forehead on his shoulder. Namjoon stiffens but a moment later, she feels his fingers tighten above her elbows, followed by him loosely enveloping her in his arms.

It seems cruel, almost, that the target of her anger and source of her comfort lie in the same person. It isn’t even a hug; it’s a moment of weakness at best, borne from his almost subconscious need to protect her. For the first time, Kaya wonders if she’s being unfair to him.

Resisting the temptation to wrap her arms around his waist, she steps away from him with difficulty, her back touching the wall. His arms fall from around her reluctantly, his expression resigned. It’s dark but she can see him more clearly than she has all night.

“This is a terrible idea,” she murmurs, echoing her words from a month ago. “The worst you’ve ever had.”

Namjoon exhales shakily but doesn’t argue. “I meant everything I said in that note,” he says, not even trying to hide the tremble in his voice anymore. “And I really do want you to be happy.”

The note. The one he’d kept on her bedside table when he’d left her apartment while she slept, the only thing of his that was left when she’d awoken, naked and alone. She’d only had the strength to read it once before she’d broken down and tucked it deep into her drawer, knowing the words would be etched in her memory.

“You know what will make me happy,” she whispers, looking at the ground. She feels him come closer to her, one hand hovering by her side as though unable to decide if she’d want her to touch him. 

He finally rests it lightly on her waist, moving it slightly upward as she looks up at him, her heart twisting at how he’s unable to meet her eyes. She places her hands on his face, thinking vaguely how much she misses seeing his dimple.

“Joon,” she whispers, waiting for him to nod once. “Look at me.”

Namjoon visibly swallows, gaze still fallen. “Kaya, I…”

“No,” she interrupts him. “Look at me.”

With what seems like an enormous effort, he meets her eyes. This is hard for me too, you know? 

She knows. Kaya strokes his cheekbones with her thumbs, her touch feather-light. “Kiss me,” she whispers. She touches her forehead to his and closes her eyes, hoping he’ll give in, for she can’t go further than this. 

His hand tightens around her waist, pressing her into the wall. Their lips brush momentarily and he shivers.

“Do it,” she urges, her voice barely audible now. “Kiss me.”

She feels his lips before she even registers him moving against her and she leans into it, feeling like she can breathe for the first time in weeks. Come back to me, she thinks desperately. Come back to where you belong.

It’s like he can hear her. Namjoon pulls away, one hand on the wall beside her face for support, the other holding her.

“Fuck,” he whispers, and it sends a jolt of anticipation through her heart. “I love you, Kaya,” he adds, voice full of emotion. Kaya nods, unable to speak, wishing he would meet her eyes. He moves his hands to her face and touches his forehead to hers again, swallowing.

Look at me.

But he doesn’t. “But you have no idea,” he continues, every word sounding like it's costing him effort, “how I felt when you called me that night. The things that went through my mind…” He sniffs, and Kaya’s heart sinks. “I can’t let that happen again baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

She can feel her face start to contort and she drops her hands from his shoulders, for she knows this part by heart. “Goodbye, Namjoon,” she mutters thickly, sliding out from between him and the wall. She pushes open the door and hurries out, leaving him behind.

—

When she hears the knock on her front door the next morning, Kaya is just about to step into the shower. She freezes and sighs, for she really, really needs this shower. She considers ignoring it but the knock sounds again and she groans, abandoning the activity of tying up her hair and letting it fall loose instead. 

Grabbing the old, threadbare robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door, she pulls it around herself and shuffles to the front door. She peers through the peephole and her heart stops for a moment, but she steels herself and opens the door.

Namjoon stands before her, hands in his pockets and shoulders slightly hunched. “Hey. I just wanted to - oh, God,” he switches abruptly, his expression changing from vaguely apologetic to shocked, and he slips inside the apartment.

“What?” Kaya asks, taken off guard and stumbling backwards.

“You really opened the door wearing that?” he hisses, shutting the door behind him. “I could’ve been anyone!”

“I knew it was you,” she argues, tightening the belt around her waist and realising, for the first time, how short the robe is. But she isn’t about to admit that to him, especially not when he’s turned up unannounced and decided to begin his visit by berating her. She folds her arms across her chest. “What do you want, Namjoon?”

He hesitates, almost as though he’s just noticing how displeased she is. “Sorry,” he mutters, looking a bit ashamed. “I didn’t mean to… anyway,” he says quickly, wringing his hands and slipping them back in his pockets. “How are you?”

Kaya shrugs suspiciously. He looks remarkably different from where she’d left him last night, almost breaking down and apologising to her. Right now, he seems almost… calm. She can almost imagine that last night had been a slip-up of emotion, possibly due to tiredness and an open bar, whereas in the light of day, he’s back to being the responsible ex who’s fulfilling his obligations by checking up on her each day.

“I’m great.”

He nods after a moment, clearly not believing her. “Well, I came here because…” He sighs and a glimmer of last night’s emotion appears on his face. “I thought about what you said last night. And you were right.”

The jolt in her stomach is almost painful, but Kaya hangs on. If he was talking about what she thinks he is, he would be delivering it far more differently.

“We can’t keep doing this. I can’t expect you to keep doing this,” he adds. “Staying in this limbo, not knowing…” He bites his lip and lowers his gaze, removing his hands from his pockets. “You have every right to move on. I want you to - to be happy.”

Kaya licks her lips slowly. “This,” she says coldly, “could’ve been a text.”

“I didn’t want to leave things the way they were last night,” he tells her, his voice softer. “You’re, uh…” His voice breaks off for a moment. “You’re the love of my life. And we were together for a long time and I… I loved every moment of it. I just want to say goodbye the right way.”

Her throat hurts holding back the rush of emotion that threatens to overwhelm her. 

“Are you sure?” She can’t resist asking, in a whisper. When he nods and lowers his eyes, she feels the heavy, heavy anchor of acceptance settle in her stomach. 

Namjoon hesitantly reaches out with one hand but when she gives him a look, he nods and steps forward, and they meet in their last hug, three and a half years after their first last hug in her apartment.

Kaya hugs him tight, no longer caring about hiding how she feels. There isn’t enough time to try and memorise everything so she doesn’t even try; she just goes higher on her toes and presses her nose into his shoulder, revelling in his scent one last time.

Namjoon doesn’t seem to be doing much better. He’s holding her tight, so tight that it doesn’t seem like he’s ever intending on letting her go. His face is in her hair and his arms stroke her back in small movements, his go-to movement to comfort her since they met.

Just a few more seconds. The sensations increase now; the feel of his shoulders, his chest touching hers - and she’s suddenly conscious of the thin robe being the only thing separating her naked body from him.

At the same time, his hands move to her waist - out of habit, she knows, but she can’t help but be extremely aware of it. His hand stops just above the curve of her hips, quickly and abruptly. 

Her mouth feels dry, but her legs press together. Then, as though he can read her mind and the direction her thoughts are invariably leading in, against her hip, she can feel his body react.

She lets out a soft gasp and feels his body stiffen around her. This is goodbye, a voice reminds her, urging her brain to focus on the matter at hand. But it’s slipping - fading, almost, as a physical urge struggles for dominance. 

Her lips brush his neck as she pulls away - she has to pull away - but it doesn’t matter in the end because somewhere along the way his lips find hers and all thought disappears, replaced by touch, feel and hunger.

Namjoon sighs into her mouth like he’s breathing for the first time, pulling her close. Her robe starts to loosen and he tugs at the belt, groaning when his hands touch her bare skin.

“Fuck, are you really not wearing anything under this?” he murmurs, his voice so low and reverberating so deep inside her that she shivers.

The robe is off; it’s cool and sudden air, a moment where his hands fall from her waist and then their back but this time, it’s skin against skin. It’s lips and sighs and tight grips, the feel of denim, her fingers moving out of habit as they unbutton and unzip - and then there’s pride and relief when she feels his desire for her, still the same as ever, no matter his words.

There’s something solid against her back; somewhere, dimly, her mind registers that her dining table is rickety and has her laptop on it, and then she’s leaning forward and he’s behind her and his chest is against her back and he wants her just as much as he wants him.

“Are you -“

“I’m still on birth control,” she confirms tightly, the next moment feeling his fingers on her hips and then he’s inside her again, after so long. She could almost sob at how good it feels, how right, the lips on her shoulder and his scent and touch.

But it’s over too soon. She gasps and falls forward, her ears ringing and heart hurting at the same time as her heart races. He’s getting close, too; she tries to memorise it now, the exact moment, but then he pulls out. It’s sudden, the emptiness, but the next moment, she feels wetness on her back.

It takes around ten seconds, ten seconds when she’s frozen before she finally hears him sigh and take a step away. A moment later, she reaches across the table and pulls the tissue box towards her, reaching behind and wiping her back.

Kaya turns slightly to see him pulling on his T-shirt, jeans buttoned already. She picks up her robe and pulls it on hurriedly, suddenly not wanting to be naked for even another microsecond in front of him.

Something feels wrong. It’s not the first time he’s finished on her; he’s done it before, on explicit request and without, none of which ever made her feel… like this. Self-conscious. Bare.

Namjoon clears his throat. “I -“ He meets her eyes, still panting slightly. “I still want to… do this right,” he says, sounding almost formal. “Goodbye, Kaya.” 

He starts to take a step forward but pauses. “Maybe we shouldn’t hug,” he murmurs, offering her a small smile. Kaya watches as he hesitantly offers her a hand.

This is goodbye. Kaya can’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable around him. The momentary loss of her sense of reason feels like it’s returned in full form, and she tightens the robe around her. She starts to reach for his hand but then stops.

“This is what you meant?” she asks quietly. “When you said you wanted to do it the right way? You wanted to see if you could squeeze in one last fuck before you closed this out like a business meeting?”

“What?” Namjoon’s eyes widen. “No! I didn’t - I didn’t want that to happen! I mean - you know that’s not what I meant,” he adds quickly. “I didn’t plan this. You and I both -“

“You planned our break-up and I had no idea,” she cuts him off, the shame and embarrassment creeping up her throat. “I really don’t know anymore.”

He scoffs, but his eyes flicker like he’s been stung. “Is that what you think of me? We were both here, Kaya. It wasn’t just me - you wanted this just as much as I -“

“I slept with Adam.” 

Namjoon freezes. He swallows and his eyes flicker again, rapidly this time. “You’re lying,” he whispers.

Kaya shrugs, holding his gaze with every last bit of willpower in her. “You were the one who told me to move on last night,” she reminds him, watching his expression crumble and doing nothing to stop it.

After what feels like several minutes, or maybe even hours, Namjoon nods slowly. Then, without another word, he turns around and opens the door, walking out of her life and shutting the door behind him.

—

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)

[hoseoksluna]

STORY | knj

pairing: soft dom!namjoon x reader

genre: smut

word count: 7.8k

summary: yours and namjoon’s story is a bit more perverted than traditional.

warnings: serious big dick namjoon, rough touches, hair pulling, use of pet names and titles, dom/sub dynamics, horny namjoon can't help but palm himself:(, desperation, masturbation, spanking, praising, tit slapping, nipple play, teasing, oc and namjoon not being comfortable with certain practices, playful orgasm denial, oral sex (m. and f. receiving), rimming && ass play :3, cum eating yum yum, tit fucking, orgasm countdown fuck

note: smut is so fucking difficult to write but i loved every second of it. i love writing about namjoon, he just makes me feel so safe. this is purely my fantasy with him and i'll probably dream about this for a long, long time. please, take your time reading this as it's pretty long. i hope you enjoy it and that it makes you dream like it made me dream. as always, let me know what you think in the comments, like the post and if you want to—reblog, but i won't pressure you angels <3. love you guys so much, thank you for all the love. kisses!

side note: i miss namjoon and i wish he were here. all i can do is watch his lives and pretend he never left for the military.

Namjoon makes himself comfortable on the wooden chair before you.

The scene is set. Like a mermaid bathing in the sun, you rest your elbows on the cold rim of the ivory bathtub. Small surges of violet-tinted water, perfumed with your scent, blanket your body in a thin layer of glittery sheen. They kiss the tiger stripes along the curve of your bottom as it rolls over, passing by the dip in the small of your waist, breathing in your patchouli fragrance in greeting. The bath bomb, cornered by your knees, sizzles and spins, the width of the tub allowing your form to float like a little fish in the open sea as copiously as you please.

A gift from your loving boyfriend. Both the clawfoot, and the bath bomb.

The scene expands. Your Eric slouches in his seat, balancing his greatest and most stellar possession on top of his lap with one hand while he runs the other through his silver mane. He fits perfectly in the picturesqueness of the background. Soft orange and chocolate tiles zig zag behind his back, transposing him momentarily into a sunlit illustration, where he rests in the shade of a palm tree on a faraway beach. Reads the book to pass the time as he waits for you to emerge from the waters. Sets it down on his lap as soon as his gaze catches yours. Periwinkle clams for a bra, panties thin and translucent from the oncoming waves, you rest your front on the sand. He smiles down at you and you know for a fact you won’t be able to get on your feet. Might have to learn how to walk, too.

You keep this picture in your heart. Mentally, you rip out the page. Fold it and tuck it somewhere within you to keep it safe.

Legs outstretched by the sides of the tub, clad in slacks in the muted color of a persimmon, it’s almost as though you’re propped on his lap. Sporting a simple white button-down, sleeves rolled, you’re close enough to touch the material if you so much as wished so. From his angle, Namjoon sees nothing but the roundness of your eyes through the brownish rims of his glasses, hair unkempt in their dampness as the short paper thin layers frame your flushed face in such a celestial way. If he were to lean over, it’d be a different kind of book.

The one in the clasp of his hand isn’t a tale as old as time.

It’s one of your favorites. An existential story that ridicules the traditional. A transfusion of liveness to a certain forgotten room of your heart. The unlit one while the others brim with sunlight, with the golden sepia projection of the contents of the fairytales you love so much made into stop motion. A coloring book of some sort, hues fitting into the lines by your helping hand—the attention of your eyes. 

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. The book that sweeps away all those cobwebs in that chamber. Makes it less lonely.

It’s all you had talked about on your dates when you and Namjoon first started dating, having been reading it at the time. You had confided in him that the writer was the only person who understood you without ever learning your name, without familiarizing himself with the subtleties of your calamitous life.

No one has ever shared something so vulnerable with him, especially not on the first date. Not that he’d gone on many, but the few that fell into his grasp were hell to get through. Insufferable, to say the least. Absolutely superficial.

He went home in the rain thinking of you. Not for boyish reasons. But for reasons of literary character, of melancholy nature that squeezed his long-unexpressed heart in perpetuating intervals too consistent for his liking. Filled it with a nectar bubbling with a newly blooming love for books, with a sudden longing to be found within the words. His body decided for him that it was yours. Yours to teach again how to read between the lines.

The scene breaks out of the margins on the page.

“Is the water warm enough?”

The idea constructed by his own geniality, it’s by his will that you’re basking in your bare femininity before his eyes. Idleness lingered in the living room between the pair of you, the flimsy curtain by your balcony lifting and falling in a little dance as the cold air perfused the place with the drowsiness of winter. Pulling his eyes away from the TV to sink a soft kiss into your hair, Namjoon muttered into your ear: “How about I draw you a bath and read to you for a little bit?”

You said nothing. The click of your phone turning off and your hasty movements to untangle yourself from the warmth of his limbs answered him for you. Leaving your clothes as a trail for him to follow, you gave him a glimpse of your ass, arched and pointed in the draft before you ran away. Before he scolded you with his index finger like a father, raising to his feet to close the balcony door.

In two seconds he joined you in the bathroom. Leaned against the doorframe as you circled a pink roll-on lip oil you’ve been obsessed with lately around the perimeters of your lips. The one that makes them look bigger, juicier. That makes them more fun to kiss and toy with. The one that leaves his length sticky once playtime is over. You seem to cast aside little trinkets of yourself for him to collect everywhere you go.

Tits pushed towards each other while you slightly bent over the vanity sink, tapping the excess into the fullness of your mouth, Namjoon palmed himself. The tiredness from work earlier weakened his self-control to the point of unrestrained indulgence. And the plumpness of your ass just encouraged it.

You fluffed your hair and Namjoon ran the bath. Disappeared into the kitchen for a moment to retrieve the purple bath bomb from the plastic bag on the counter, one that he got from the convenience store for you. Dragon fruit and hibiscus. Thought of the twinkle that would sparkle beneath your lashes upon seeing it. Wasn’t disappointed when you exceeded his expectations.

Having seen it in the mirror, almost microscopic and round in his big palm, you turned on your heel and burst into giddiness as he took off the plastic packaging with his teeth. You pouted in gratefulness when he showed it to you. 

“You planned this, didn’t you?”

You hugged him, locking your hands behind the nape of his neck. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, and he told you so. A bit hoarsely, though.

Namjoon struggled not to moan. Groaned a little when he felt the curvature of your belly against his hardness and the pointed nubs of your tits beneath his pecs. Managed to conceal it, thankfully, by clearing his throat and by allowing an authentic grin to bloom on his dimpled face at your joy. Thanked the heavens for all the bath bombs in the world.

He placed it in your much smaller palm for you to plop it into the increasing water. Watched your eyes widen at the gilded glitter spreading around. Spurred you to get in. Held your hand as you lifted one limb, then the other. Knelt by you as you engulfed yourself in the violet tinge, your hair swirling around you, silky and ethereal, coming to a stop at the top of your head to fix a splendid crown for such a princess like yourself.

Namjoon turned off the tap while you rested your back against the curved wall of the tub. You swooshed your hands around, gathering the glitter into the fine lines of your palms. Looked up at him in elation, the twinkle doing its thing in the glossiness of your eyes, and smiled. Namjoon smiled back at you. His hand reached out to your chest in a fervent need to touch you. The glitter adorned your chest with its perfect speckles and they resurfaced when you arched your back in response. Clung to his palm in the middle of your tits, held on tighter as he took a detour to your chin by brushing across your sensitive nipple to hear your little mewls because if he made a sound, then you must, too. Because if he was horny, he must get you on the same page as well. Fairness is very important to Namjoon.

He squeezed your breast hard. Pinched your nipple between his thumb and the knuckle of his index finger in broken intervals, similar to little dashed lines of Morse code. You imagined he was telling you something through that secret language as you closed your eyes during an intense wave of pleasure coursing down your body, and perhaps he truly did because he pulled your legs apart harshly when you pressed them together. Punished you by lightly slapping your tit—the same one he abused with those firm touches—the force splashing you in the face with violet pearls. All as if you disobeyed the command he transmitted wordlessly.

The command possibly being: Only I will give you the release you need when I decide it’s time.

You bit your bottom lip to suppress the neediness erupting in you. Namjoon wrapped his hand around your throat and you dragged his rolled sleeve further up his arm, so it wouldn’t have gotten soaked in the water. He smeared your lip oil just because he wanted—just because he could, scattering the rosy tint around your mouth messily. He took advantage of the aftermath of his punishment and collected those tender beads, now translucent upon your carmine skin. Not with the thumb as you expected him to, but using the pillows of his lips, he kissed the round bulb on your cheek. It melted on the puffy surface when he withdrew. He looked you in the eye for a mere beat of time before he lowered to your other cheek to collect another trinket. None of the corners of your mouth were overlooked, not even the button of your nose. He peppered those kisses to erase the harshness of his selfishness, supporting your lifted chin with his long thumb beneath it, still sticky from the consistency of the lip oil, apologizing, smoothing down his sternness until you giggled.

Once he cleaned you, Namjoon returned the digit to your smudged mouth, delicious in his sight due to the essence of sloppiness that gets his length even harder in his pants. He presses the pad against it, already craving your tongue. You kissed it, a thank you for his softness, before you granted him the access. Tongue toying with the tip, you said hello in the mother language of the love stored in your bodies for each other. Wrapped both of your hands around his wrist. Didn’t break eye contact. Smiled, teeth showing happily, when he bit his lip, but soon got distracted by a small movement on his groin area out of your view.

You peeled your back off of the tub to curiously take a peek, but Namjoon pushed you back to your place. All while his thumb remained sucked by your mouth. You frowned at him, dismayed by his recurring roughness that you weren’t used to.

Namjoon tapped your cheek twice with his fingers to let you know it was enough and rose to his feet.

“Joon, what’s going on? Why are you so rough with me?” you asked, voice tender, the question shooting arrows into the wideness of his back.

Stopping in the doorway, he hung his head, fingers coming to intertwine with the short hair above his neck. “I’m sorry, baby. Let me get the book.”

A moment later, he returned with the stellar possession in one hand and a wooden chair in the other. He slumped against it, fingers finding the first chapter unwittingly.

You swam forward as if to the shore, propping your elbows on the rim to be closer to him.

“Is the water warm enough?”

You nod, your teeth picking at the excess skin on your lips. Namjoon notices and, as if registering the reason why you put on the lip oil in the first place, he leans towards you and rubs away the smudginess he caused. As if the walk into your dining room sobered him enough from the dark wine of his lust that he now regretted his actions.

“You really scared me when you were rough,” you said calmly, unafraid to uncover your feelings, knowing you’ll be caught now that you’ve jumped head-first into the hungry sea of honesty.

He apologizes again. Repeats it in the aphonic form of a deep chaste kiss.

“Won’t do it again,” he promises. “Unless you ask me to.”

Your lips form a smile, but it quivers into a straight line just as quickly as it appeared. The yet unknown cause behind his untypical behavior troubles you.

“Did something happen today at work?”

Namjoon sighs. “No, I’m just tired.”

“Just tired or tired of your job?” you try, tilting your head to the side, remembering this isn’t the first time quiet broodiness clutched his figure when the clock struck five.

“Both.” He kneads the heel of his palm against his eye. 

Not expecting his honesty, your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. It propels you to investigate further. Gives you the green light. Namjoon usually keeps to himself when it comes to work-related storms, holding respect that reaches the bottom of his heart for those above him and for his peers as well.

“Did someone make you upset?” you ask, paving your way in this inquiry to the realm of understanding so you can help him. At least in a small way.

He drops his hand, gazes up the ceiling to stare at a fixed point. Perhaps he’s looking for words, perhaps he’s avoiding the question altogether. The regret of your prying swallows you. You’re afraid you’ve overstepped a boundary. 

You reach out your arm, wrapping wet fingers around his wrist on his lap. The gesture says, ‘you don’t have to tell me but I’m here,’ and you squeeze the limb to emphasize that. As if he heard you, he looks down at you. His eyes that are usually narrowed into slits now round in tenderness. The swallowing lets go, the lump that threatened to obstruct your throat disappears.

“It’s Friday, Joonie, and you can forget about your job for a little while. It’ll get better,” you say, caressing his soft skin.

To your another surprise, Namjoon nods. Slips his fingers into the hollowness between yours, squeezing back, saying, ‘I hear you.’ Your heart jumps with gladness that you haven’t made a mistake, that instead your reassurement made a difference.

To lighten up the atmosphere, you begin to joke around.

“Should I beat them up?” You raise your brow in mischief, a goofy smile coating your face in lightheartedness.

A grin cracks on his face. “Don’t get your hands dirty for me, baby.”

You scoff, half-seriously and half-unseriously shaking your head at his eagerness to please but never letting himself be pleased. “But I want to. I’ll do it for you.”

Namjoon shakes his head as well. Leans over to you. Cradles your head in his hands and kisses you. Picks the hair plastered on your face and puts it away. You forget all of your jokes for a moment, breathless. Your neediness nudges you in your sensitive parts, reminding you of its lingering presence. 

“Come on, Joonie,” you coo, prolonging the vowels, the best you could come up with considering his allure, “I’ll fight them,” you start to construct your imaginary plan, the dimples adorning his face making it a bit harder for you to get the words out, “then, they’ll be scared of me and they won’t bother you again. Because if they do, I’ll smash their fucking teeth in. And then… then, you’ll get your peace for good. Easy.”

Namjoon listens with his features bathed in enamoredness, seemingly lost in a deep thought. A twinkle, a twin to yours, glistens in his eyes. Dimples out provoking you, he softly smiles at you. Coyly. He’s unaccustomed to being the one fought for. He’s always been the one who fights. The one who settles, resolves, makes things right. He’s never been the person these things are done for by another person. It makes his heart pulsate in a strange new rhythm. 

He stretches out his hands and runs his fingers through your hair. Begins to plait an intricate braid down your back, keeping you caged in the confines of his arms. Safe. Protected. His warrior princess.

“There’s something else you can do for me,” he mumbles, finished with your braid. Now your hair is away from your face, just like he needs it for what he’s about to do.

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow in question, your smirk growing on the side of your face. “Like what?”

“I’m so hard for you, baby,” he whispers into your ear, shoulders hunched, lips tracing the edge of your earlobe. A secret just between the two of you. “My body’s confused. I need a release.”

Even though you saw it coming, even though you saw it a hundred times before, you can’t help but gasp at his desperation, bare and open before you. It’s a new experience each time. Thrilling and titillating, the vividness and ferocity of his sexuality. It causes a flock of playful butterflies to buzz you with electricity in your tummy and a shiver to run down your spine. You feel your own neediness making itself known again and you squeeze your thighs together. 

This is the Namjoon you know. Strong in his softness. Mellow. Intense. The Namjoon who showed you plain roughness was a stranger to you, one you could take the time to get to know, because now you understand that the incentive to act like he did was his frustration from work. You can’t really blame the natural inclination of his body—his body that is yours to love in all shapes or forms.

You perceive he needs to let out some steam—he said so himself. Proud of him for voicing it out, a decision to be his helper already makes a way to your heart. You no longer feel slivers of consternation slithering in your veins. Knowing the cause, knowing it’s still your Namjoon helps you submit to the call of his needs. If a dab of roughness is what entails the sand-speckled footpath to the seaside of his well-being, you’ll take it. Welcome it, even. Within the realm of your established boundaries, that is. 

“Can I see?”

The book falls to the floor with a thud. Namjoon stands up. 

Ever so eager. Responding to his body language out of pure instinct, you hum and lift yourself to your knees. The outline of his engorged length, tight in his pants, greets you and you will your brain not to tell your fingers to rub your swollen clit. To busy your hands, you grip the rim until white brushes along your knuckles.

Emerging from the water, it left you smothered in a luster of wet silkiness. Namjoon’s eyes rake over your bare femininity. Heavenly, pure, seraphic. Groans a little loud. Doesn’t know whether to touch you first or his painfully hard and heavy member. You move your body to the side wall of the tub and he follows you, hand opting for his girth to relieve himself a little bit. 

You sit prettily on your folded legs and lean over, pulling his wrist away. You plant a dewy kiss to the middle of his clothed length and look up at him, just at the right time to catch him whimpering. Your clit pulses again and you feel like crying, needing release as much as he does. He doesn’t make it easy for you, making sounds like that.

“What does my baby girl need me to do?” you ask, stroking his member while stifling your giggles at the title that fits him so well. 

“Baby girl?” He frowns down at you. 

It’s usually what he calls you, hence why his confusion. And you call him by an entirely different title, too.

A giggle does escape your mouth after all. You squeeze at his tip, drawing those delicious whimpers out of him again.

“Only needy little baby girls make sounds like that. You are needy, aren’t you?” You lick that sensitive part, palming his balls. 

Namjoon whines. 

The shift of dynamics, the change of titles ever so dizzying to the mind. He doesn’t even have the strength to correct you. 

He grips the back of your head and moves you away from his cock. Then the realization he’s being rough again wafts over him and he softens his hold, fallen stray hairs coming to rest at your temples. Namjoon tucks them behind your ear. Taps you on the cheek once.

“Get to sucking off your baby girl,” he rasps. 

You smile. Find it immensely attractive that he’s embracing the pet name while still being dominant. A masculinity in its true form.

“You can be rough with me if you want to,” you say, wanting to make that clear. “I think I can handle it.”

Namjoon traces the shell of your ear with his thumb, pondering.

“Just don’t hit me, okay?” 

He says your name sternly, as if you offended him. “I would never deliberately hurt you. How can you think that?” 

“No, I meant—” You lick your lips. “Don’t slap my boobs or anything. You can spank me, I like that. But don’t be as rough with me as you were. Can we take it slow? Is that okay?”

He stares at you for a moment.  

“Do you trust me?”

You nod, turning your head to press a kiss into his palm. “Yes, I trust you.”

“I’ll teach you, then. We’ll take it slow,” he says, fingers stroking the side of your cheek, where a small amount of fluff creates a path for him to lay down his silent love on. “It was a mistake on my part for not preparing you for it, and for that I’m sorry. But I’ll teach you. Show you how good it is.” He pauses. “Until you beg me for it.”

Your throat dries up. The pulsing in your cunt unbearable. 

“Fuck, Namjoon. Save the talk or I’ll come on the spot.” 

“The talk is important,” he reprimands you. “Whether you come or not without my permission is your problem.” 

“Shit,” you whimper, gripping his hand on your cheek. You tighten your hold as if to brattily change his mind on having this kind of control over your orgasm because you need to come as soon as possible. And not just once. You’re sure your dewiness is leaking into the water. 

“No bad words or I’ll fuck your filthy mouth.” 

You gasp. So unused to this side of him. But it turns you on, now that you feel safe. Turns you unstable.

“Say you’re sorry.”

You’re tumbling out the words before he’s even finished with his sentence. “I’m so sorry.”

He beams at your immediate submission, purring at the quintessence of your compliance. Wants more. “Who are you apologizing to?” 

You pause. His usual title almost slips off of your tongue. But since this is new and you’re both experiencing a new dynamic that causes you to feel so playful, that guides you ever so gently and carefully into the kingdom of subspace, you opt for the pet name that suits him well. “To my baby girl,” you say, laughing softly. “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” 

He laughs as well, the sound a deep rumble in his chest. You’re giddy that you’re allowed to be wild, your inner child healing and quivering within you. You overflow with the desire to kiss him.

“What for?”

He wants you to say the full sentence. You take a deep breath. 

“Baby girl, I’m so sorry for having a filthy mouth and saying bad words.”

“Hm, do you regret it?” 

You almost curse again. “Yes, I do. I’m sorry for being bad.”

“Good. Get to work, then,” he says. “Make that mouth useful.”

Fuck.

“Kiss me first, please. Make it better,” you beg, fluttering your eyelashes at him. 

Namjoon moans and you bite your lip. Bends and sucks it between his, deepening the kiss as he opens your jaw and slips his tongue inside. Massages the muscle against yours. Makes those sounds again. Palms his cock. Withdraws with a pop. 

You mewl in satisfaction. That kiss alone ruined you. 

“Good girls get kisses.” Hand under your chin, he squishes your cheeks. “You’ve been exceptionally good. I’m gonna destroy you.” 

He kisses you again with the same intensity but briefly, inhaling your skin. No tongue this time. 

Cheeks awash with rosiness, you hastily unbuckle his belt. Not to cut time and get to his promise faster—on the contrary, you’re dying to pleasure him. He doesn’t help you like he normally does; he merely watches you as you pull down the cotton material of his slacks along with his boxers down his muscular thighs. Only when you wrap your lips around his cock from the side does he throw his head back. Thrusts his hips. 

He’s rock hard. The weight of him makes you absolutely fucked out.

Namjoon likes you there so he keeps you still—there in the middle of his girth. You moan, producing as much saliva as you can to gratify him while he uses your mouth, alternating between keeping those pillows firm and soft. When he gets you to his tip, he expects you to swallow him, but you merely move your head from side to side rapidly, flicking your tongue. Namjoon groans lowly, a string of curse words spilling from his throat. His precum drops onto your chin and you suck in a breath, horny beyond your mind.

You swipe your index finger to collect it. Check if he’s watching before you plunge the digit into your mouth. Roll your eyes back as the tanginess overwhelms your senses. Namjoon hisses. Grabs your braid as if it were a ponytail. Kisses you, aching to be one with you. You feel the vibrations of his fervid mania in unity with him like this and it echoes down your body once he pulls away. 

“Take it in your mouth.” 

Namjoon holds it at the base for you and you find the long vein that you favor so much. Pepper kisses along the length of it, feeling it throb in tandem with your clit. Straightening your spine, you bite your lip. Give him an utter look of adoration before you swipe your tongue along the slit. Humming in delight, you slip him into your mouth. Your cheeks hollow and you begin to bob your head, fingers following your movement, bumping into his fist. Tears pool in your eyes when you dare to inch closer to his hand and even though you gag, you try your hardest to keep him nice and tucked in your warm throat. You sputter and cough, swallowing around him, because you deem he deserves it, knowing how much he loves it when your flesh contracts around him like that, and Namjoon groans deeply. It fills you with a dose of satisfaction almost akin to an orgasm, the lack of oxygen in your brain heightening the experience so much that your head spins. 

“Such a good girl,” he whispers. “Breathe, baby.”

He slips out of your mouth. Pats you on your head before he sinks his fingers into your hair, gripping at the roots. Ascertains you pay attention to him. 

“Don’t do that again,” he says, softly. “You need to breathe. Take a deep breath with me.”

You’re still on your knees and he’s merely looking down at you. You fold your hands on your lap. Your mind is so empty that you’re not sure how you feel right now, having been entirely focused on his pleasure. 

Namjoon inhales deeply with his nose and you do the same.

Inhale, exhale. 

Fondly, he caresses you on your cheek.

“I just wanted to make you feel good,” you explain yourself, thinking that you should.

“I know, baby, and you did. It’s okay, I’m not mad at you.” He smiles at you. “You hear me? I’m not mad at you.”

You nod your head yes. Pout. 

“You feeling okay? Take a deep breath for me again.” 

You do as he says, your senses returning to you like a warm spring wind. 

“Better now?”

You nod again.

“Words.”

You wet your lips with your tongue. “Yes, I feel better now.”

“Good. Do you still wanna continue?”

“Yes, Namjoon. I wanna make you come.” 

Almost like you flipped a switch, his eyes darken. 

“Hands behind your back,” he rasps. 

You oblige, crisscrossing your wrists below the dimples on your lower back.

“‘Atta girl. Back to work, come on.” 

It’s much harder to do so without your hands, especially in the position you’re in. You hesitate.

“I don’t know if I can,” you admit. 

He tuts in pity. “Should I use you then?”

You roll your eyes back, the idea intoxicating your body. You feel woozy. 

“Yes, please.” 

“Focus on your breathing, okay?” 

“Yes, Namjoon.”

Humming, Namjoon grabs your hair gently and sinks your mouth down on his cock, moves you up and down slowly. You focus on not just sucking in your cheeks but also on breathing through your nose like he told you, although you can’t help but moan around him. It turns you on how he manhandles you to his liking so delicately. You swirl your tongue around his tip once he wants you there and you let out a series of whines and whimpers. He keeps you there for a little longer, moaning after you, the sounds creating a paradisiacal symphony. You twist your head in half circles as you continue sucking him, slobbering all over him, using your tongue to flick beneath the mushroom. 

“So good, baby. Yes, fuck.” Namjoon squeezes his eyes shut. “You’re gonna make me come.” 

You pull away, but a string of saliva still connects you to him. 

He blinks at you. “You want a spanking?” 

You run the tip of your tongue along the top of your lip, giving him the eyes. Cock your eyebrow at him. Namjoon draws a sharp breath in. 

He leans over. One hand tugs at your braid firmly to arch your back over the edge of the tub. The other smacks you sharply on your ass cheek, smoothing over the sting. You moan, nipples rubbing over the cold surface, curse words dying on your tongue. Namjoon grips the flesh, spanks you again. Skims his fingers over your exposed heat. Repeats it on the other cheek, twice in a row. You wiggle your hips, needing to feel more, needing him to touch you right there between your legs. You cry out into his ear.

Letting go of your braid, Namjoon kisses you beneath your jaw. Slides his tongue along the sensitive spot, sucking it between his lips. A secret message that he hears you, that he’ll fuck your needy cunt soon.

“Think you’ll be a good girl for now?” 

Furrowing your eyebrows, you nod a few times. Not a single rational thought passes through your brain. 

Namjoon straightens. Pulls down his foreskin for you. “Spit on it.” 

You watch as your liquid love trickles down and lands on his tip. He hums and surprises you by wrapping your hands around his girth, spreading down the lubrication with you. You feel the ridges and the thick vein in a new, vehement way and even though you’re not the one pleasured, you moan. The simple up and down movement grows in rapidness that your body follows, emulating the effort, making it seem like you’re bouncing on a dick. Your ass splashes the water around, creating tender waves full of love, inherited from your still leaking dewiness. 

His hands are so warm enclasped around yours, pressed tight. Not once unclenching.

You start blabbering. 

“You’re so big. I can’t even wrap my hand around you.” You make sure to look him in the eyes as you say it. “So big in my mouth, too. Could barely fit you.” 

Your words set those twilit embers in his eyes on fire. His breathing quickens. He’s close again and you’re stunned, once more, by the vividness of his sexuality. Your hands go limp in his grasp.

“Nuh-uh, keep up the pace,” he husks. “Thought I was your little baby girl?” 

You shake your head, willing your hands to gain strength again, but it has no source to draw from. “Not anymore.”

Namjoon chuckles, darkly. Notices your movements fluctuating, arms shaking. “Tired?”

You nod and he unclasps his hands. You twist your wrists in circles to alleviate them from a cramp. 

Then, you get an idea.

Sitting back on your heels, you arch your back. Tip your chin down and spit on your chest, the essence flowing down the pathway between your breasts. You do it again, though this time you spread it on your skin. 

“Fuck, baby,” Namjoon mumbles. Unbuttons his shirt. You squeeze your nipples with both hands as your eyes flick to his, then down to his exposed chest. “How are you gonna address me, huh? What’s my name?”

He forcefully tugs the fabric off of his arms, tossing it on the floor. His body—with its vulgar beauty, broadness and definition—takes your breath away. You don’t let it show, or perhaps you pretend that you don’t because you allow your hand to travel down your stomach. Namjoon imitates you, running his fingers down the chiseled muscles that make you drool. He stops at the hair adorning his pelvis. You don’t.

You rub circles on your clit instead.

“Daddy,” you cry out in pleasure, announcing his title—his rightful, most fitting title. Face contorting at the brisk, blooming flashes of sensuality rising up your form.

His body tenses. It’s like he’s stopping himself from reaching for you, pulling you out of the bathtub and spanking you until your bottom resembles the water. Or tugging at his length until he paints you white with his cum. 

You make it easy for him. 

Lifting your body, you step over the edge of the bathtub. Kneel at his feet on the fluffy black mat. Far enough for him to see purple liquid pearls make their way down to your cunt. Far enough for him to see how you resume those circles on your bundle of nerves, fingers reaching to your hole for lubrication. You roll your hips into your hand, arm propped behind you.

“What’s this show?” Namjoon rasps, his cock twitching. “I don’t remember giving you permission to touch yourself. You wanna end up with zero orgasms?”

You pause. 

“That’s what I thought,” he says. “I believe you have unfinished work to do.” 

You smile mischievously. “You want it bad, don’t you?” 

Namjoon nods. Holds out his hand. “Come to Daddy.”

Exuberantly, you leap into his arms. Namjoon throws you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing and walks into your shared bedroom. Sets you down on your bed, spreading your legs, and he crouches between them, reaching into his bedside table for the tool that he wants. 

The aroma of strawberries lovingly boops you on the nose. Namjoon squirts a good amount of lubrication on your chest, paying special attention to the pathway in the middle of your breasts. He massages it in, incorporates your sensitive nipples in the preparation, coaxing whimper after whimper out of you by squeezing them and rolling them between his long fingers.

“I’m gonna make a mess,” you say, grinding your hips against nothing.

Namjoon clicks his tongue. “Already?” 

Your dewiness oozes out of you onto the bedding. To prove your point, you lean back on your elbows and lift your knees, revealing your dripping hole and the shine of your soaked folds. Namjoon stares at your cunt but doesn’t touch, doesn’t blink. He bites his lip. Flicks his eyes to yours. 

He kisses the middle of your tummy. Moves over to your heat. Licks a tiny stripe on your clit.

You cry out.

“Namjoon!”

Hands on either side of your waist, crawling up to you, he growls. “Good girls are patient, aren’t they?” 

He doesn’t wait for your response. 

“They take what is given to them and they finish what they started,” he continues. “Don’t they?”

You nod.

“And you are a good girl, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m a good girl.” 

“Then thank your Daddy for what he gave you.” 

Your walls squeeze around nothing when you hear him utter his title. It refreshes your body with energy. 

“Thank you, Daddy.” You smile. 

Namjoon kisses you, rewarding you.

“Sit up.”

Changing the layout, it’s Namjoon who reclines halfway on the bed while you sit perched on your knees between his legs, cock in your face. He spurts the lube on his length and jerks himself off, his skin shining in the abrupt spillage of burnt-orange sunlight from the window. Watches your eyes round in astonishment similarly to the way they did earlier when you had gazed upon the glitter swarming around you. 

He nods at you, giving you the green light, and you sheathe his girth into the tightness of your squished tits. You may start a face pace from the get go, fucking him into oblivion, but all Namjoon sees is the whites of your eyes, the glimmer, the pure enjoyment of what you’re doing while the rest of you is immersed in subdued late afternoon shadows. Sweat glistens on the planes of his face, dribbling down to the strained column of his neck.

It’s intense. So intense that he can’t vocally react. 

Precum appears once more on his mushroom, displaying his arousal, and you slurp it up, the braid coming undone—your hair falling around you like a curtain. 

It’s brutal. It’s wet. 

Namjoon gathers your hair to the side in a makeshift ponytail and leans over to be closer to you. Needs you like this. Feels his relief catching up to him the more effort you put in, the more you stick out your tongue to flick at that sensitive part of him whenever you can. 

“Want your come. So bad. Want it all over me,” you whisper, and that’s it for him. 

“Say please,” he murmurs, and it’s barely a sound, but you hear him. 

“Please, Daddy, come for me.” 

Pulling your hands away, Namjoon takes charge. Fucks your tits in frenzy, your hair, now half dry, tickling your skin. With his thumbs, he stimulates your nipples to coax those little sounds of yours and—

“Play with your pussy,” he commands. “But don’t come. Tease yourself like you teased Daddy.”

The relief on your face inches him closer to his. He hears the wetness as you dip a finger in, your walls sucking it in. He hears your breath get stuck in your throat. The slow crescendo of your moans. Suddenly, he hears himself too. 

Whiny, desperate, so unlike himself.

It’s a fortress of safety, his forehead on top of yours. His nose bumping against yours. Open mouth ghosting over the sounds of your well-deserved pleasure. It’s a safe place for him to come in.  

And he does. 

Ropes upon ropes of come color you ivory white, color you clean. The reversal of a coloring book—changing the lines, changing the scheme, changing your life. 

You milk him dry, your pussy long forgotten. Milk him until he pushes you away, chest heaving, unable to catch his breath. You just watch him, his seed hot on your chest. Glittery. And not just there. On your neck, on your chin, in the wavy strands of your hair. 

You’re in awe of him. You can see the pressure leaving him like a ghost slinking out of the window. 

Namjoon takes off his glasses. With two fingers, he collects as much of his essence as he can and plunges them into your mouth. The other hand rests on the crook of your neck, thumb protectively over your throat. “Swallow.”

Not for long. Namjoon throws you on the bed. Doesn’t waste time.

He laps up your pussy, clit to hole, sucking your labia into his mouth. He does it again, but this time he travels a bit further. Clit, hole, ass. Tongue flat. Your screams are muffled by the rumpled bedsheet you grip.

Going back to your leaking hole, he circles the flesh before he dips the tongue in. Wraps his arms around your ass to control your squirming, feeling the dip of your spine as the sunlight kisses it. Dust particles spiral in the air—Namjoon sees it. The dark grey curtain keeping half of the world shrouded in dimness while the other illuminated, a picture cut in a heart shape due to the deliciousness of your ass. 

Fuck, Namjoon longs to play with it again. 

He spits on it, rubbing the saliva around it before he slides his tongue back into your wet hole. Says hello to it—long time no see—teases it, before he dips his thumb in. You arch your back even more, welcoming the intrusion, and Namjoon kisses your pussy lips as a thank you. He quivers with the craving to fuck you right there in your ass, but knows better than to do it. You’re not ready for it. 

Spreading you more open, while keeping his thumb there in that sweet place, he begins to focus on your poor little clit. Swirls his tongue around it firmly, sucking it until your back trembles—goes up and down like a seesaw. The kisses he leaves there are obscene, loud, full of thankfulness that he gets to play with you. Full of love for you that he burns bright with—that propels him to flick his tongue harder. And full of joy that his stress is gone. Joy that you’ve been the helper unscrewing the steel body of heaviness off of his because, as of now, his bones feel lighter.

“You’re so good for me.” He smacks his lips against your cunt. “Fucking Daddy like that when he needed you.” 

Vigorously, he rubs his face against you, shaking his head from side to side. You stretch your fingers behind you and helplessly grip the back of your thighs. Namjoon catches one of your hands, holds it with his free four fingers, sucking your clit. 

“Thank you, baby,” he whispers, withdrawing to pay attention to your other hole, missing it. Abuses it once he spits on it, eating it, dipping his tongue in with ease since he stretched you. Fucks you there in the only way he can. 

“Wanna come?” he asks and as he waits for your answer, he goes lower to drink your freshness, not letting a drop go to waste. 

You’ve lost your voice screaming. “Yes, Daddy, please. I can’t hold it in anymore. Please, let me come,” you croak. 

Namjoon makes a sound of appreciation, proud of you for holding out for so long without saying anything.

“I think you can,” he says. Stuffs a finger into your dripping hole and lets you adjust for a moment. Adds another. “I think you can hold it while I count to ten.” 

His digits pump into you slowly. Kneeling by your side, he turns your head so you can see him, twisting your body into the position he wants. The curve of your back is so beautiful in his sight that he can’t help but run his free hand over the route that your spine has become. The route he wants to plant kisses on like flowers of various colors, adding to the coloring book, erasing the old. 

And he does. Begins at the nape of your neck. Picks up the speed.

“One.” 

You cry out. First before your tears rush out, pooling in your waterline. You clench your whole body in naive hope it would stall the orgasm, but it quickens it, squeezing his fingers in, so you relax your muscles. 

“Two.” 

A kiss to the first round protrusion of your spine. Shifting your weight to your shoulder, you take his cock into your hand. 

“Three.”

The middle of your shoulder blades. You hear your wetness oozing out of you, the relief prowling closer. You whine and Namjoon understands.

“Hold it or I’ll stop,” he whispers. “I can feel your pussy squeezing around my fingers. Relax.” 

You match your pace with his. Namjoon begins to pant. You feel his hot, heavy breath beneath your shoulder blades. 

“Six.” 

Ass shaking from the force, he jackhammers into you. Pulls out for a moment to spank you, a merciful gesture, before he’s back in. Leaves a wet fingerprint on your skin.

“Eight.”

The last protrusion of your spine. You silence your moans by pressing your hand against your mouth because they bring you closer to your orgasm, however Namjoon yanks your arm away. 

“Make those pretty sounds for me, come on,” he huffs, kissing both of those dimples on your back. “Ten. Come. Come for Daddy. Come all over his hand.”

And you do.

It’s a paradise, the heat closing in on you. The loss of hearing, the muted ringing, resembling the flap of a bird’s wing. The loss of surroundings as you’re momentarily transported somewhere entirely else. A gilded illustration, perhaps a lively projection. Something, somewhere, where all is good. The orgasm rips through you and the repetitive echo of his name leaving your mouth is what brings you back. Away from the storybook into a brand new coloring book.

Namjoon strokes your hair. 

He holds you in his arms, but something sticks you uncomfortably together. You peel yourself off of him and cringe. Strings upon strings of his come, gleaming with speckles of glitter, do not want you to leave. You sit on his thighs, resting your palms on his chest. 

He kisses you. “Are you okay?”

You nod with droopy eyelids. 

He carries you into the shower and makes a way for all colors of the rainbow to perfuse your body. To create a new storyline for the day, for the week, for the month. Reds and pinks show their faces first in the steam, and even though Namjoon is glad to see them, he looks forward to meeting the rest. To learning their objectives so he can fulfill them. 

Grabbing the yellow book on the way back to the bedroom, Namjoon makes himself comfortable beside you. Is careful not to touch your face out of habit because you have a face mask on; careful not to bump into you either because you have a plate of mozzarella and sliced tomatoes on your lap. He kisses your hair, though. Doesn’t have the strength to fight internally—grabs your jawline and ever so slowly and heedfully, he kisses you, fingers finding the first chapter unwittingly. 

“When Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from troubled dreams, he found himself changed into a monstrous cockroach in his bed.” 

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.

BACK to masterlist

[justimagineok]

the hate effect || knj || masterlist

Summary: Kim Namjoon has always been ambitious, even before he became an idol. He always wanted more for himself and didn't mind giving up anything in order to achieve his dreams, even if it meant giving up on you too. But now, 10 years after debuting, the world-renowned idol has finally achieved everything he sought when he was young, but he couldn't be emptier. Used to his new life where he has everything at his disposal and manages to reach higher and higher places, Namjoon has his usual life interrupted when Hybe hires a new staff, none other than his former youth love: you.

 ↬  pairing: idol!namjoon x staff!female reader 

↬ genre: series, haters to lovers (?), angst, fluff bits

↬ warnings: swearing, angst :)  

A/N: hello there! I've been thinking about a series with a lot of angst for a while now so I saw a perfect opportunity for that. Your feedback is always welcome and feel free to send me asks whenever you want. Hope you like it!

# teaser || Playlist || quotes

>>> Hate me now

     # archive 1

     # archive 2

     # archive 3

    # archive 4

    # hate me now

# hate the past

# hating the flu

#

>>> Hate me tomorrow

      #

     #

>>> Hate me forever

[bts-0t-7]

Under the Light of the ARMY Bomb | KNJ

Pair: Namjoon x idol reader

Summary: Surprising your long-distance boyfriend as a singer has its perks. But when an unexpected double surprise came for ARMY’s in the stadium that day, it was the absolute highlight of the event. 

Genre: Pure tooth-rotting fluff, idol reader, idol Namjoon, established relationship au

WC: 1189

If you are ARMY, regardless of whether you have attended BTS concerts in person or virtually or even if you were just watching through clips, you know the exhilarating energy that they possess. Together with that, ARMY’s cheers and sing-alongs make the environment a thoroughly different environment. 

Today marks the last day of the world tour for BTS and they were performing at the Seoul Olympic Stadium. Even standing outside, you were already alight with energy, a sea of ARMY’s waving their light sticks and singing along to the electrifying performance on stage. From the little slit along the stages, you saw Namjoon commanding the stage with his powerful presence, leading his members with equal amounts of charisma. 

Every time, you would be part of the audience - a part of ARMY. But today will be unlike any other. Today, you had fully intended to join them on stage and give Namjoon the fright of his life. 

Amidst the crowd, you were hiding in plain sight. With your own fandom and performances, it was rare to find a moment of spare time where the both of you could just enjoy each other’s presence without the worry of the future. It has been four years since the both of you have come out to the public about your relationship. Saying that there were no hard times would be a big fat lie. 

You got threats on threats, making you constantly fear for your life. But there was also a section of ARMY and your own fan base that gave a positive output. You had changed your energy from them and did your best for them. You were glad that over time, people also grew accustomed to the fact that the both of you were dating. Not to say that there were no haters but just… lesser than before. 

When you found out that your precious boyfriend and his brothers were performing in Seoul, you couldn't resist the temptation of surprising him. Of course, you had told his members and talked to the company and their managers, ensuring that it was indeed okay for the surprise to happen. Arranging the preparation with the help of BTS’s management, it was still a challenge to keep your presence a secret from your boyfriend. The boys were not the best at keeping secrets from Joon and his sharp eyes just seemed to see everything. And your resistance was diminishing by each second when you see your boyfriend performing, hot as shit and cursing his way through. 

But it was all part of the thrill. 

As the concert reached its peak and the vocal line was performing ‘Dimple’, you slinked backstage with the rest of the dancers, heart thumping with anticipation. The crowd was in a frenzy and this was the perfect moment. 

Joining the line of backup dancers as they got onto the stage, shrouded in a hoodie and a cap, the spotlight was completely focused on the vocal line, allowing you a few seconds to prepare. 

As they got to the chorus, you stepped forward, voice steady and heart full of love and excitement. The vocal line continued singing with you, harmonising their voices with yours with ease. In the background, ARMY’S cheers increased in volume as the ARMY bombs went crazy, but all you could see was Namjoon’s surprised expression. It took a moment for the realisation to set in that you were actually here. The wide smile that adorned his lips made your heart explode. 

All that waiting was worth it. 

It was unforgettable. 

You and the boys continued performing, having the best time teasing their leader during the remainder of the song. As you faced ARMY and waved your own ARMY bomb, you could feel Namjoon’s eyes on you the whole time. But he couldn’t seem to take them off of you as the crowd erupted into cheers and applause as you bowed to them. Your presence on the stage was unexpected and everybody was living off it - including him. It was the best surprise that he could have ever asked for. 

When the song ended, Namjoon ran out from backstage, clumsily tripping over himself. As he stepped forward, his hands trembled uncontrollably when he held your own. The rest of the boys were rowdy behind the both of you, shouting and teasing, revelling in the romantic surprise unfolding before their eyes. But all of that turns into the background when Namjoon looks into your eyes. All he could see… was you. 

The crowd quickly hushed as Namjoon spoke, his voice thick with emotion. “Y/N, what an announcement spoiler you are.” He laughed. “From the moment we met, from the days we spent together to the nights after every concert and phone call, I’ve always been thinking about it. You brought so much light into my life, to the rest of the boys, and to ARMY. I wanted to tell you when we decided to go on that date two days later but after this surprise, I can’t think of a better time to ask than now.”

The crowd went crazy and then went silent again. 

Tears welled in your eyes as your heart rate rose to a dangerous level just thinking of the possibility of - 

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up every day with you by my side and go to sleep every night with you in my arms.” Namjoon kneeled down on one knee, an open ring box in one hand and a microphone in the other. “Will you marry me? Can you take this clumsy, absolutely hopeless kitchen man in?”

The stadium fell into absolute silence, the air tense with anticipation. 

But you didn’t hesitate. There were so many things you wanted to say but the words caught in your throat. Your mind was moving miles per second but all you could say was, “Yes! Yes, oh my gosh Namjoon, yes!”

The stadium erupted in applause and maybe you were just high from the adrenaline, but you swore that even the ground was shaking. But it was because of the cheers from the crowd and the ecstatic reactions of the rest of the members that made the moment even more unforgettable. Namjoon slipped the ring onto your finger, sealing the promise of a lifetime together. Namjoon’s hand cupped the back of your neck and brought you in for a heated kiss. 

You prepared a surprise for him but got a larger surprise instead. You knew that you were going to forever be teased on this by the boys but you couldn't bring yourself to care. It was you and Namjoon - against the world. 

As the concert continued, the atmosphere was even more electric. The unexpected love and joy in the air was palpable and your surprise appearance and engagement became the highlight of the night. Namjoon’s confession of love in front of thousands of fans marked a clear, new beginning - not just for you as a couple but for BTS and their dedicated ARMY as well. 

It was a night of music, love, and memories that none would forget. 

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 6 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood

Previous | Next

a/n: let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

taglist: @wecanpretendit |

You open up your eyes the next day, you didn’t get enough sleep but your phone just buzzed a notification, you click your tongue when you recall that you fell asleep before putting your phone on silent or do not disturb, you woke up with a mild hangover from last night’s poker game. You rub your eyes and immediately dig between your pillows to locate your phone.

You scrunch your eyes at the brightness when you unlock your phone, two notifications caught your attention, one being an email from the medical association, announcing that there’s a conference happening in Ilsan on Monday and you have to prepare a lecture for it. You’ve always attended those kinds of meetings but just as listener, but this year it’s your first time as a speaker since you managed to be one of the best in your department, the first notification made your day already, you’re proud of yourself.

But this email was sent a couple hours ago.

The second notification showing that someone texted you something two minutes ago and they unsent it, you click on the app and scroll through it, you even try googling how you can see who’s the sender, but you got zero results.

You scroll down and spot your chat with Namjoon, you click on it to see his last seen being a minute ago, but this doesn’t prove anything, it could be just a coincidence.

Although it isn’t.

Namjoon is dragging his carryon with him on his way to the terminal, he throws away his third empty cup of coffee before grabbing his phone, he’s been thinking about you the entire night, he wants to talk.

“how are you?”

“can we talk?”

It doesn’t even take a split second for him to unsend those messages, he can’t do it over text or over the phone, and he has to fly in less than an hour so he can’t really do anything until he lands in Seoul. He needs to see you face to face.

He swipes the app away and locks his phone when he arrives to the terminal.

-

“Shouldn’t the hospital pay for your ticket?” Jungkook asks out of breath, both of you are running on the treadmill, you’ve been working out together for some time now.

You and Jungkook met in the states in your first year in university, you both had majored in medicine, but he couldn’t keep up with the pressure, he went through so much that he just had to switch majors, he took the first plane back to Seoul and finished getting his degree to become a teaching assistant in Seoul’s university. You lost connection with him for a long time and you ran into him years after in a club and you became closer than ever.

“Yeah, they do, but I think I should take my car so I can move freely around there.” You shrug, he looks at you before squinting his eyes. “Honey it’s just one day, just go do your speech and fly back. Plus, the hospital is paying so you don’t have to spend anything.”

“It’s not about the money honey.” You mock his words, “It’s just that I don’t mind driving.”

“Don’t, really. Flying there is much safer.” He finally stops running when he finishes his miles. “You can’t drive there and back here on your own anyway, it’s not safe.”

You roll your eyes before turning off the treadmill, you grab your bottle of water and drink some to quench your thirst. “Whatever dumbass, you have to help me with my lecture.”

Both of you decided to shower at the gym and head out to Hoseok’s, they helped you choose a subject for your lecture and you finished it in a couple hours, it was a piece of cake with their help.

“Is it true what I heard?” Hoseok shuts his laptop and grabs a slice of pizza, you and Jungkook both turn to him in confusion. “What?” You ask.

“I heard some stuff from Seokjin hyung.” Hoseok takes a bite and wipes his mouth clean, you try and act oblivious but Jungkook is getting curious. “What?” He looks at you then back at Hoseok.

“Y/n hooked up with the guy she kissed at the club.” Hoseok shrugs. “It’s okay to talk about it since it’s over now, right?”

The younger looks at you with a shameless smirk on his face. “Nice.” He nods his head. You squint your eyes and elbow his chest. “Shut up.”

“So you totally agreed to hook up with a stranger but not with me.” He genuinely seems offended.

“Get over it Kook,” Hoseok huffs. “The guy is married.”

You study Hoseok’s face, is he pretending that he doesn’t know about the divorce? Or did he not really read his papers?

“You slept with a married man?” Jungkook exclaims a bit too loud that you rub your ear. “Okay first off, the neighbors don’t have to know, you don’t need to be loud.” He pouts.

 You rub your forehead, you recall that night clearly when you tried to guess what’s his job, you literally had his hands in yours, there wasn’t a ring on it. “And in my defense, he didn’t tell me he’s married.”

“You should’ve asked.” Hoseok points and Jungkook agrees which makes your jaw drop. “Why would a married man flirt with a stranger? He’s the one who started talking to me.”

“Men don’t get enough-” Hoseok shrugs and gets interrupted by Jungkook. “No no, men never get enough.”

You knew all along that some men are pigs but now you somehow find this very unbelievable, and you’re positive that your friends might be pigs too, they’re men too after all.

“He has a child.” Your voice barely comes out, you’re in denial.

“So?” Jungkook asks as if having a wife and a son isn’t enough of a reason, you look at Hoseok, he’s just eating carelessly and totally not shaken by Jungkook’s question and the cringe on your face.

You close your eyes and shake your thoughts out of your head. “Okay, we need to stop talking about this, it was just a one time hook up and it won’t happen again, I don’t even know the guy.”

-

Monday came in a blink of an eye, surprisingly you weren’t that nervous, you got into a formal attire and filled your handbag with everything you could ever need, your flight is scheduled at 9 in the morning, you’ll be landing in Ilsan an hour later, and your flight back is scheduled to land in Seoul around 7 in the evening.

You grab your phone to find your friends active on the group chat wishing you good luck, you hover your fingers over the screen and respond to them with a smile on your face.

You take a cab to the airport and check in and head to your gate, you’re on your iPad re reading your lecture again while listening to music, you take a sip from your coffee and you spot a bunch of cabin crew and you scoff.

You didn’t realize how wrong Namjoon did you until now, everything seems to remind you of how bad things turned, and no matter how hard you convinced yourself that he’s just a stranger and you won’t have to see him again, you still grit on your teeth. You’ve always been smart and wit, your gut feeling was always right and you question yourself, why did you decide to ignore it this time, you have no idea.

Maybe something deep inside you actually had a thing for Namjoon, not a crush or something, but he just ticks everything on your list, and you find him quite close to your ideal type of men, but oh well, the man is married.

Well, he’s getting a divorce too. You think and you widen your eyes at your own thoughts before you burry your face in your palms.

Even if he was already divorced or whatever, that wasn’t your problem now. The man lied, and he’s a total red flag for you now, you didn’t have full trust in him to begin with, and now you can’t trust him at all.

Do men really not get enough? You recall what your friends said days ago, they can’t be totally right, you’ve seen healthy relationships before where each partner finds the other more than enough and they’re totally happy with each other.

You lift your face back up and you see the cabin crew again, you could clearly see what seemed to be the pilot flirting with one of the flight attendants, and goodness there’s a ring on his finger. Men.

Namjoon could’ve totally slept with so many women and convinced them that he’s single just like he did to you.

Speaking of which.

Namjoon is in the airport bathroom soaking himself with perfume before he heads to the terminal, he’s a few minutes behind the rest of the cabin crew.

The past few days were extremely hard on him, he’s been flying nonstop all over the republic just to distract himself from over thinking and just to waste time. He was going to try and contact you but he still isn’t brave enough to do so. He even drove to your place and stayed in his car for hours, hoping that you’d head out of the building any minute, but you were staying home the past few days.

He knew if he called or texted you wouldn’t answer, and he’s right.

The moment he walks to the terminal and boards the plane is when your face is in your palms because you’ve been having a debate with yourself earlier.

You didn’t see him, and neither did he.

“Where have you been?” His co pilot speaks as he enters the cockpit, Namjoon puts his carryon in the overhead bin before putting his phone down on his seat. “I was having a smoke.”

Boarding finally starts and you walk through the boarding bridge while carefully slipping your iPad in your bag making sure it won’t touch your heels, you chose to wear a pair of sneakers on your way there and change into your heels when you finally get there.

A queue is forming near the airplane door and you hear the flight attendants giggling with the passengers, you step a foot into the plane and one of the cabin crew welcomes you with the fakest wide smile ever. “Welcome aboard, may I see your boarding pass?”

“Thanks.” You hand her the ticket not bothering to mirror her smile, “I’ll take it from here.” A deep voice resonates that makes you lift your face up to see him.

Fucking Kim Namjoon.

Out of all the flights your hospital could’ve booked, they chose the one that Namjoon was flying.

Your eyes meet and it feels like you’ve seen him not long ago, you feel yourself getting charged with hate and anger again when you see him and you hardly control yourself to not snap at him and make a scene.

 He snatches the ticket from the flight attendant and looks closely at it. “Come, I’ll walk you to your seat.” An immediate frown sits between your brows, you know he’s not authorized to walk you to your seat, and you can hear the other cabin crew whispering between each other.

You don’t have to take a long walk to your seat since the hospital booked you a business class ticket even when it’s just a one hour flight. Namjoon leads the way and you walk after him, he stops near your seat and points his head towards it. “Here you go.”

He didn’t leave you a good amount of space to enter your seat, so you stand super close to him before putting your bag down and take a your seat. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He bends down on his knees and leans his arm against the seat in front of you. ”How long are you staying in Ilsan?” And you immediately answer while trying to look careless, unlocking your phone and scrolling through it. “None of your business.”

“Y/N, please, we need to talk.” He begs with his voice barely whispering. “I’ll be waiting for you when we land-“

“Save it Namjoon, I’m going there for business and I don’t have the time.” You look at him, a sigh escapes his nose and he swallows when he looks at your lips for seconds, before looking back into your eyes. “I won’t waste your time, I’ll drive you wherever you wanna go. But please.” He begs again, his hand nearly falling on your leg but he stops himself and rests it on the back of your seat.

You scoff and shake your head, you look through the window for a second, then look back at him. “Look at you.” His eyes are locked onto yours. You continue. “Just so you know, there’s nothing you could say to explain yourself.”

“Namjoon, they need you in the cockpit.” A flight attendant nudges his shoulder, he nods without even looking up at her, then leans in closer. “Don’t get off the plane when we land, just stay here and we’ll leave together.”

You sigh in response and his hand finally lands on your knee for a quick touch of affirmation, he gets up and makes his way to the front of the plane, you eye him from head to toe, your eyes piercing through his big body, and he knows you’re watching.

You fasten your seat belt and lean your head back on the chair, you were hoping that you’d catch some sleep on the plane but you can’t.

You can easily predict what he wants to talk about, and you really used to fancy this man in general, but now he looks like a total different human being to you, and you can’t say you’re not disappointed.

You’re not going to over think this anymore, you’ve had enough, you’re gritting on your teeth again and your jaw tenses, you feel yourself about to get a headache. You’re seeking for closure.

The announcement bell rings and your eyes widen when you hear Namjoon’s voice radiate through the speaker. “Good morning and welcome aboard, this is your captain Kim Namjoon speaking.” You find yourself breathing heavily suddenly, you look all the way to the front of the plane, you can see the cockpit door still open, and you could see just the side of Namjoon’s body and the rest is blocked by the stupid giggling flight attendant.

“First I’d like to welcome you on Korean airlines flight number KA87 heading to Ilsan, we are currently third in line for takeoff. We are expected to be in the air in approximately 14 minutes, we’ll be up to a cruising altitude of 32 thousand feet, flight time will be one hour, if the seat belt sign is turned please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened.” You can see him shifting in his seat, before your phone buzzes a text, you grab your phone and see that he was the one who sent the text.

“I’m happy to see you :)”

Your stomach does this weird thing inside you that you haven’t felt before, your hand hovers over it and you try had to calm your breath but now your heart is fluttering.

“Please switch off your mobile phones, or turn on airplane mode for safety reasons.” He speaks through the speaker and you put your phone back into your bag with your jaw down. You cannot believe him.

“In about ten minutes after departure the cabin crew will be coming around to offer you a light snack and a beverage, until then, sit back, relax and enjoy your flight, thank you.” He closes the speaker and the back of your hand sits on your burning cheek, you’re totally confused on what’s happening to you.

You unbutton the first two buttons of your shirt and fan your face, if any of the flight attendants saw you they’d think you’re afraid of heights or you’re panicking but really, you’re not. You’re just.. Overwhelmed, if that’s the right word to use.

 “Cabin crew please be seated for takeoff.” He speaks one last time before he moves the entire plane towards the runway.

Namjoon did his hardest to stay focused on the only thing he had to do, his mind was rushing with thoughts, each one interrupting the other, he has no idea how to start talking, hell he’s not even sure if you’re going to wait for him or not. He couldn’t fight the smile that’s slowly creeping on his face, it doesn’t go unnoticed by the copilot, he even smirks before asking Namjoon. “Is that your wife?”

The question robs the smile away from Namjoon’s face, and he finds himself cringing. “No.”

She could never live up to you, no offense to her. But she doesn’t put any effort in the way she looks, she never cared, in fact Namjoon doesn’t recall the last time he saw her styling her hair or putting on makeup. She’s unemployed since she’s taking care of Jay most of the time, but Namjoon opened a bank account for her so she can do whatever she wants or even buy something for herself. But she never did.

And you, gosh he doesn’t even know where to start. You’re just you.

The second you stepped foot on the plane and he saw you, he felt his stomach twist and his heart skipped a beat, he could feel a hint of tightness in his boxers as his body starts pumping blood everywhere. He really is happy to see you.

Meanwhile you’re in your seat less than an hour later as the flight attendants take their seats to prepare for landing, and you may seem biased when you admit that this was the smoothest landing ever. Namjoon must be really good.

People almost immediately rise from their seats to claim their luggage from the overhead bin, you grab your phone and turn off airplane mode, you’re welcomed to Ilsan with a few text messages from your mobile network, the moment you clear this notification you lift your face up to see the passengers beginning to exit the aircraft, and you spot Namjoon standing with the flight attendants and saying goodbye to the passengers one by one with a soft smile with his stupid dimple showing.

His eyes pierce to you between each passenger and he’s glad you actually stayed, he grabs his carryon from the bin above his head and puts it down on the floor before nodding to you.

You take it as a sign to get up and you do, throwing your bag over your shoulders and lowering your sunglasses down to cover your eyes, you walk towards him and you feel your body heat up the second he puts his hand on your lower back. “How was your flight?”

You look at him and roll your eyes at how cocky he’s getting and he lets out a soft laugh. “I’m just messing with you.” This motherfucker.

“What brings you to Ilsan?” He starts talking as you’re walking down the stairs of the plane, and you take a second to give him a blurry answer. “I’m here for work.”

“Work?” He asks as both of you make it inside the bus that’s driving you to the airport gate.

You look around the bus and it’s packed with people and there isn’t a single seat empty, you lean your back against the window near the door and you try finding a hand grip to hold onto, Namjoon leans both his palms behind you and nods. “Hold onto me, it’s okay.”

The smell of his cologne mixed with cigarettes wafts through your nose, you’re sandwiched between him and the window, and you’re surrounded by so many people that it’s physically impossible to push him. You look into his eyes to see him staring at your lips, your eyes wander lower to his neck to see his necklace.

It’s the necklace you saw on his neck the morning he left your place.

Your fingertips move towards his neck before you fish out the necklace from underneath the buttoned shirt. The look on your face makes his heart shatter, and even his heart melts when you breathed. “That’s your son.”

He looks down to your fingers and he touches the small necklace too, making both your fingertips touch, you feel his touch in a form of electric current and you lower your hand immediately. “That’s my son.” He whispers.

You study his face for a long second.

Despite the fact that he cheated and what he did was wrong on so many levels,  he looks like he totally regrets it, and he seems like he genuinely wants to make things right with you. You’re ready to hear him out.

“Alright.” You sigh and he smiles softly, tugging softly on the loose strand of your hair behind your ear.

The bus starts moving and you immediately hold onto his wrist for support, his smile goes wider before he grabs your hand into his, intertwining his fingers between yours which settles this weird feeling down in the pit of your stomach. What in hell is going on?

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He takes a step closer to you, the smell of his cologne getting stronger and chest barely brushing against yours. You remind yourself that this man lied to you once and you can’t just let him off the hook this easy.

It’s a five minute ride to the airport and it felt like five hours to you, you’re getting worried at how your body is reacting around this man.

You finally get to the airport and finish all your paperwork, he fishes out a pair of car keys and leads you to the parking lot.

“You’re renting?” You question him while buckling up and he shakes his head. “It’s my sister’s car.”

“Ah yes, you’re from Ilsan.” You remember that he told you this before and he nods, you lean down to take off your sneakers and socks off, you switch to the pair of heels you have in your bag, you can feel his eyes on you so you turn to look at him. “What?”

“Where are we going?” He asks, you show him the exact location that the conference was held in and he nods and starts driving, he doesn’t even bother opening maps or anything, he knows every alley in Ilsan. “How long are you staying here?”

“Namjoon, you’re the one who’s supposed to be talking.” You sounded too mean and he starts feeling pressured, his breath becoming slowly irregular. “Fine, fine.”

You look at him while he’s driving, he’s forming small sweat pebbles on his forehead and his grip around the steering wheel gets tighter. “I’m sorry.”

You’re fed up with how hesitant and scared he seems. “Yeah, I know, and?”

“I uhm.. I should have.. told you since day one.” He clears his throat. “What I did was really wrong and unfair to you.”

Your hand sits on your chest when you exclaim. “To me? You’re married, you should feel sorry for your wife.”

A frown sits on his face and he feels his blood pressure elevating by the second, he gets really irritated at the mention of her. “No, y/n, you don’t know anything.” You frown. “Enlighten me.”

He rubs his face and his jaw tenses, he opens his mouth to start talking, but he shakes his head instead and looks through the window. “For fucks sake Namjoon.” Your voice starts getting louder, he slams the steering wheel and finally bursts. “I’m miserable, okay?” He’s louder than you are.

“I’m fucking miserable, I’m not happy, and I’m lonely.” His chest heaves up, he runs his fingers through his hair before continuing. “My life is a fucking nightmare, y/n.”

You feel your heart clenching when his voice starts getting shaky. “It’s killing me.”

This man lied to you once and you don’t feel like you can trust him again, for all you know, he could be lying to you again. You’re unsure if the reasons he listed earlier are valid enough for him to cheat on his wife.

“I feel like shit for doing you wrong.” He stops the car on the side of the road and looks at you. “You have the right to be mad at me, I know I’m a terrible person.”

And right off the top of your head you ask him. “Is she not good to you?” Your voice comes out in a form of a whisper. He scoffs and shakes his head before looking down. “I’ve known her for years, but she still feels like a stranger..:”

You lose it when you see tears forming in his eyes. “We painted this fake image of us holding hands in front of people and smiling just so they think that we’re happy, but we’re not even an inch close to happy. I tried so hard to compromise but I got nothing in return, it was always me who has to work hard for this marriage and I got nothing. I thought that life just goes on and maybe that’s what all married couple are like, but no. I’ve made so many wrong decisions in my life but she was the worst ever.” His tears finally roll down on his cheek and he just sobs, gravity does its job and his tears fall onto his lap.

You’ve never seen a man this weak and vulnerable, you feel your heart squeezing at his state, he looked so firm and happy on the outside, he looked stable, but he was able to conceal it all very well, that must’ve drained him through those years.

You unbuckle your seatbelt and sit on your knees, you grab his head into your hands and brush his tears with your thumb softly before hugging him closer to you, he wraps his arms around you and speaks. “Imagine being silenced for years.” He pulls back, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’ve been through this nightmare for three fucking years and I couldn’t say a word to anyone about how fucking miserable I am.”

“Shh. It’s okay.” You whisper, cupping his jaw in your hands and tracing it with your thumb, you brush your nose against his and close your eyes. “I’m here.”

He grips onto your top with his fist and pulls back, “What?”

You feel the need to help him escape this, the man is clearly going through severe depression and he’s emotionally deprived from any act of affection or love. It’s not like you’re offering to love him, but you need to help him get back on his feet.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” You smile softly at him and offer him your hand, he locks his eyes into yours and grabs your hand pulling it closer to his face, he leans his head onto it and kisses it softly.

“Thank you.” He whispers while mirroring your smile. You giggle and adjust your seat. “We have to get back on the road Namjoon.”

He nods and turns the car back on before hitting the road again, you felt the need to explain to him the reason you’re in Ilsan and he ends up offering to attend the conference with you, actually no, he insisted on attending.

He parks in front of the building and both of you exit the car, he opens his carry on and manages to change just his top before entering the main hall.

“Miss y/l/n.” The head of the medical association approaches you while reaching his hand out to you, you shake his hand firmly and smile. “Lovely to see you Mr. Baek.”

“I’m so glad you got to be a speaker this year.” He smiles back, his eyes spotting Namjoon behind you, you pull back and put your hand behind Namjoon’s back, pushing him closer to you. “Let me introduce you, this is my friend Namjoon.”

“Nice to meet you.” Namjoon shakes his hand firmly before the old man speaks to you. “It’s lovely for you to have support, we’re all so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” You smile before hooking your arm around Namjoon’s. “Pardon us.”

Even when you just introduced Namjoon as your friend, he’s not used to being touched like that in public because he was never touched like that in the first place.

-

Speaking in front of a huge crowd was never a big deal for you, your lecture was interesting to begin with and your powerful personality made a strong presence on stage, you almost forgot that Namjoon was between the crowd watching you with his jaw slightly open.

The second you stepped on that stage he felt… Euphoric.

He listens to every single word that comes out of your lips attentively even when you’re using complicated medical terms, he scans your body language and your hand movements and he swears he hasn’t been this impressed by a woman before.

He’s proud of you.

You’re the woman he’s always imagined having in his dreams, he was quite the ambitious person himself and he had so many goals he wanted to achieve but his personal life always stood in the way.

He finds himself charged when he’s around you and not only sexually, he’s suddenly in a better mood and his brain and body function better, he finds himself way less anxious than when he’s around his family, although he should feel this way around his son too, but your aura is totally different.

His heart skips a beat again when your eyes meet in the middle of your lecture and you smile softly at him as if he’s the one who needs support. He finds your smile contagious and he gives you one back with a soft nod, he’s really proud of you.

You finally end your lecture and they applaud you, you know you did great. You bow your head and get off the stage to be welcomed by a few colleagues who shake your hand and make small talk with you about how good your lecture and where your sources were from, they even ask you a couple questions about your topic.

You got offered two jobs on the spot in two different hospitals around the republic but you were kind enough to refuse, the hospital you currently worked at is the hospital that helped you get where you currently are.

You thank them and make your way back to your chair, Namjoon gets up on his feet and grabs your hand into his. “You were great.”

“I know, thank you.” You grin when he pulls you closer for a soft kiss on your cheek, he pulls your chair back for you to sit next to him, and both of you sit back to listen for the rest of the conference.

It’s a couple hours later, Namjoon is driving you back to the airport while you’re on your phone texting your friends on your group chat, they had planned a dinner to celebrate you tonight, so Taehyung was supposed to pick you up from the airport since he already lives close to it.

“Can’t you please stay for tonight?” He manages to turn his head towards you for a split second while he’s driving, you lock your phone and put it down before you speak. “I’m supposed to meet my friends for dinner and I’m on call tomorrow morning.”

His shoulders sulk in disappointment and a sigh escapes his nose, his eyes are now focused on the road and it’s clearly showing that he wants to be around you more, which kicks your ego up to the top.

At the same time he doesn’t argue and he doesn’t insist, he just wants to give you your own space so he won’t pressure you, you chuckle before running your fingers to the back of his head, scratching his scalp with your nails. “You know I can see you back in Seoul.”

You know your hand drives him crazy and you could care less If you crash, you want to leave him edged and thirsty for more and you like it. His eyelids starts to feel heavy and he fights it so hard to stay focused on the road. “It’s just that..” He breathes, your fingers move down to scratch his neck, he swallows before he proceeds. “.. I wanted us to be alone and away together.”

You take a long breath before you retrieve your hand back onto your lap, you’re not going to give him what he wanted immediately. You did offer your help but you didn’t forget about the terrible lie he played on you. So he deserves to be denied for the mean time. “If that’s your way of inviting me to bed than save it.” You smirk. He lets out a quiet laugh and stretches his hand to sit on your inner thigh, his fingers squeezing your covered flesh softly and stroking it, “Fine, I deserve to be punished after all.” He bites on his lip.

“Good boy. I’m glad you’re aware of that.” You managed to play the role of the tough cookie but you can’t deny that his touch is doing wonders to you, the warmth of his hand against your covered skin and his soft strokes gives you flashbacks of that night you spent together, and the other nights where you made him cum just by hearing your voice.

You finally get to the airport and he turns off the car in the parking lot, he looks at you while unbuckling his belt. “Are you sure you don’t have the time?”

“The gate is already open Namjoon.” You look at the time on your wrist, you unbuckle your seat belt and fish out your documents from the bag. “Thank you for keeping me company.”

“I’ll see you back in Seoul?” He coaxed, you giggle and take your time to answer with a slow nod. “I’ll see you back in Seoul.”

He leans in and you think he’s going to kiss you on the cheek, but he moves further down to brush the tip of his nose against the pulse of your neck, he takes a long inhale through his nose, collecting whatever he can of your smell which arouses him, he closes his eyes and whispers. “I can’t say it enough, but I’m truly sorry.”

You clear your throat before you move your hand up to his jaw and caress it with your thumb. “I know you are.”

He keeps his face buried in your neck for a couple seconds before he pulls back and locks his eyes with yours, you see the face you saw earlier this morning, apologetic and full with regret.

“I have to go.” Your faces are extremely close that he feels your hot breath hit his glistening lips, he nods and fully pulls back to collect his phone and keys. “Come on, let me walk you inside.”

-

“I don’t know if we say this enough y/n, but we’re totally proud of you. We’re always there for you and we’ve got your back, we truly love you.” Taehyung lifts his glass of champagne up on the air before all you clink your glasses together. “To y/n.”

You sip some of your drink and put it down before Yoongi starts. “So how was your trip?”

“It was quite chill, it’s my first time on a business class, other than that everything went great, I also got a few job offers.” You slowly nod your head. Yoongi sips more of his drink and lifts up an eyebrow. “I heard some stuff from Jungkook.”

You snap your head towards the youngest who’s totally avoiding eye contact with you, his face flushing at the sudden mention of his name.

After all, what were you expecting? Seokjin told Hoseok, and Hoseok spoke in front of Jungkook, and now Yoongi is discussing this around the table where not only your friends are sitting, but also a couple of their partners.

And by the looks of it, his wife already know since she’s studying your face and waiting for confirmation.

Do they just go around talking to each other about you? Your hookup with Namjoon will haunt you for the rest of your life.

“Yeah it’s true.” You spit out, “Namjoon’s married?” Jimin asks and your eyes almost fall out from their sockets, as far as you remember, he knows you hooked up with someone, but not with Namjoon specifically.

“He’s married?” Taehyung dramatically drops his fork which makes you roll your eyes. “I actually saw him in Ilsan.”

Your statement was followed by a complete silence around the table, you feel everyone’s eyes on you as they’re waiting for you to elaborate, you clear your throat and open your mouth. “Relax, we didn’t go together, he was flying that plane.”

You realize that they still don’t know what he does when they look at you like you said something in a foreign language that they don’t understand. Hoseok turns his body fully towards you. “Flying the plane? Like fly fly?” He blinks repeatedly.

“He’s an aircraft pilot.” You take a sip from your champagne and you clearly see Mia and Jade, Taehyung’s girlfriend, swoon over the man, you nod with a smirk. “I know right?”

“And did you talk?” Seokjin hesitates, leaning his elbows on the table and closer towards you so he can hear you better. You nod. “Mhm. He apologized and I guess we’re okay now.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to see him again.” Taehyung whines. “You can’t be the mistress.”

Taehyung’s words woke some sense in you and you actually admit that you cannot be the mistress. You scold yourself because you shouldn’t have let him off the hook that easily and offer him closeness immediately.

You jump in your seat when your phone buzzes and speaking of the devil, it’s him.

“Call me when you’re home.”

“I miss hearing ur voice.”

A knot sits between your eyebrows and you actually leave him on read. You are not going to reply to him and that’s it. You lock your phone and put it back in your purse. “I’m not going to be the mistress.” You firmly say, and you cross your arms above your chest.

-

It’s later in the night, you had already finished your dinner with your friends that night and headed back home, you showered and put on a face mask, and went to bed really early since you’re on call in the morning.

A little past midnight, your phone vibrates repeatedly and you think it’s work because they usually call for consult during the night when you’re at home. But it’s Namjoon again.

“can I call you?”

“I’m at the hotel room”

“I’m flying back to seoul in the morning”

“I’m so glad I got to see you today”

Your fingers hover above the screen and you purse your lips, debating whether you should answer or not, but again Taehyung’s words echo in your head, which makes you quickly turn off the wifi when you see him typing, you lock your phone and put it on your nightstand.

Oh so you’re going to ghost him now?

You don’t hesitate for a second, you fall back asleep in a snap of a finger.

Meanwhile, Namjoon is freshly out of the shower, his hair dropping small pebbles of water on his neck and back, his phone is in his hand and he’s getting concerned of the fact that you’re not replying to his texts.

He actually saw it coming, and he knows you’re not going to reply to his texts or ghost him for some time, of course he’s not going to pressure you to answer, so he just puts his phone down and lies down flat on his bed. He knows he deserves the punishment.

He’s in Ilsan but he doesn’t always stay at his parents. Since he’s there partially for work, the aviation he works at provides him a room at the airport hotel, so he just stays there before he flies back to the capital.

-

To say you wake up cranky the next day is an understatement, your period started today and your tummy and back are killing you, and your headache is getting stronger by the second.

Hoseok who decided on picking you up to and from work today has been blabbering since you stepped foot in the car and you’re waiting for him to stop talking.

“Men actually love it when women are mean with them, don’t over think stuff with that man, I remember once I hooked up with a girl and I was planning on not calling her the next day, she wasn’t that special and she wasn’t really worth the shot, but I swear the minute she started being mean with me I liked her a lot better.” He even laughs and your face falls inside your palm, you could beg him to shut up.

“When she started being nice to me I got the ick and totally blocker her number, it’s just how the world works you know, and I’m not-“

“Hobi please.” You snap. “Shh.”

And the man sulks with a pout on his face, you’re not even sorry, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and your body isn’t giving you a break. You could’ve called for a day off but no one wanted to switch shifts with you.

The moment you step foot into the department, the nurses actually give you a few meds to help you go through your shift, it was hectic that day.

You grab your phone a few hours later and finally turn back on the wifi, Namjoon sent one text early in the morning, which is probably right before he headed to work.

“i hope ur okay, take care.”

Your fingers hover over the screen and you decide on messaging him back even when you don’t want to.

“fly safe J”

 Your heart beats faster when he reads the message seconds later, you’re about to lock your phone but he’s calling you, and you can’t just ignore his call when you just texted him.

You wait a couple seconds later and finally answer him. “Kim Namjoon.”

He lets out a low grunt before laughing, you can’t see him, but he’s in bed stretching, he’s sleeping on his right side with his phone under his ear, his eyes immediately shut close when he hears his name. “Good morning.” His voice deep and sleepy, also low so he cannot be heard.

Fuck, he’s not helping you keeping your hands to yourself when he does that.

“Did you miss your flight or what?” You grab your white coat and make your way out of the emergency department to take your call. He breathes into his phone and speaks. “No, my flight was early in the morning, I’m in Seoul now.”

You can’t help but ask, even when you really know that it’s inappropriate and really none of your business, you even stutter. “Is she there?” And it comes out as a whisper. You’re really asking him about his wife.

It takes him a few seconds to process the question, uncertain whether he should actually answer the truth or not. Because she’s home and in the next room, if he was an octave louder he would be heard.

Although he did promise himself that he won’t lie to you, so he answers. “Yes.”

Your heart clenches and no matter how hard you think you’re going to accept it, it’s just really hard to digest.

You clear your throat and bite on your nails, and as if he can see you, he laughs quietly and whispers back. “I wanted to say this to you face to face, but you have to know, whether you showed up in my life or not, I would’ve gotten the divorce any way, so don’t worry.”

Namjoon never knew what it felt like to be taken care of or shown love, and neither did you, you’ve never been in an exclusive relationship with anyone before. Of course you’re loved by your family and friends, but someone actually offering you affection and care who is neither a family nor a friend feels weirdly good.

It’s like the missing piece in your life that you just realized you needed.

But still it feels concerning when Namjoon talks about you like that, and you actually spit it out to seek for an answer so you won’t have to overthink it. “Come on Joon, it was just a one time hookup, why are you talking like it’s more than that.” You even fake a laugh to make it sound nicer than you truly mean.

And he just blurts it out. “Because it is more than just a hook up,”  And he can sense that your tension over the phone is increasing, you realize you’ve been holding your breath for a second before he speaks with an audible smirk on his lips. “Come on y/n, we both know it’s more than just a hook up.”

It slightly irritates you at how smug he sounds, you scoff before speaking. “Wow you surely sound confidant about that. I hate to break it to you, but really, it’s not true.”

“Okay.” He’s totally not convinced, you hear him muffling under the blanket in his bed. “I’ve been thinking about you the entire night.”

Now it’s your turn to make his life a little harder. “And did you make yourself cum?” He takes a long breath before he hums. “I made myself cum when I imagined the way I wanted to please you, y/n.”

You’re ashamed at the way your body reacts, even when you’re on your period, your body acts upon his words and your face flushes, you press your thighs together to ease the increasing heat between your legs.

What he just said suddenly filled a certain void inside you that you never knew existed, you’ve always wanted a man seek after your own pleasure.

Even when you absolutely enjoy the dirty talk, and even when it makes your cunt tingle, you still manage to ask him. “Hm, so I guess you called just to ease your morning wood?”

You doubt the fact that this man thinks before he talks, he sounds so convincing and genuine when he replies so fast. “Just so you know, I don’t just see you in that way.”

Of course you’re going to doubt that, but he’s is in fact serious, he does think you’re insanely attractive and really good in bed that it makes him sometimes wonder how you’re still single, but on the other hand, he finds your job and your lifestyle very interesting and attractive, it’s been a month since you guys first met at the club, he thinks he knows enough to really fancy you, but when he attended your lecture and saw how successful you are at what you do, it made him see a totally different version of you.

“Whatever Namjoon, I need to hang up.” You sit up from the bench, he doesn’t hesitate when he asks. “Do you have any plans for tonight?”

You actually have nothing planned for tonight, but you know you’re going to be kicked in the ass from your current shift and you’re also on your period. “Maybe.”

You can hear him stretching, he lets out a low grunt before he speaks again “I feel the need to take you somewhere, that’s if you don’t mind of course.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Somwhere?”

“I know a wine tasting tour held today, it’s on the outskirts though and there’s a huge farm there and it’s the harvest season, so we can actually go and check out the entire process, If you want to of course.” He seems excited when he’s speaking, still making sure he isn’t heard by the other two living under his roof.

You’re intrigued, your mind wants to say yes so badly, but your body is barely holding on for work. “I can’t today, I’m not feeling well.”

He shifts in his bed before he sits up. “Oh no, are you okay?” His voice coming out so soft and sweet, you try to stifle a grin but you can’t, and he actually hears it through the phone when you speak. “Oh my back hurts, that’s all.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

Screw you Kim Taehyung for saying those words, they still echo in your head and for a split second you shrug it off, fuck it, your body is aching for Namjoon and you’re a little ashamed to admit it.

“Yeah, I mean-“ You bite hard on your poor lower lip before you realize that even if he showed up, there’s nothing to do when it’s your time of the month. “Sure, come over.”

-

Namjoon finally leaves his room after he finished his call with you, Jay was crying his lungs out and he was on the floor throwing a tantrum, and his wife is nowhere to be seen.

“Daddy.” Jay stretches his arms up when he sees his father which makes Namjoon’s heart melt, he kneels down and holds his son closer to his chest, rubbing the back of his head softly. “Daddy’s here, what’s the matter?” He kisses his forehead softly. “Why are you crying?”

“Mommy won’t give me my ice cream.” He cries even louder and his father barely understands a word. Finally she gets out of the kitchen and starts picking up the little toys from the floor, “Jay how many times did I tell you, crying will not get you the ice cream.”

And the little toddler’s crying is loud and he starts kicking his legs, Namjoon holds him closer and smothers his tiny faces with kisses. “Shh, it’s okay.”

He turns to shoot a glare at the demon picking up the toys, he actually feels nauseated when she’s around, and ever since he met you, he just can’t look at her, so he forces himself at the second. “Why won’t you give him his ice cream?”

Jay is Namjoon’s only point of weakness, he cannot stand seeing him want something or crave something without getting him whatever he wants, he’d give him the world if  he asked and he’s willing to sacrifice anything for him, that all makes Jay adore his daddy.

“He didn’t finish his bowl of cereal and he even spilled it.” She throws the bag of toys down in the corner of the room, “No ice cream and no toys for the whole day.”

“He’s a baby, playing is all he’s got to do, you can’t just punish him like that.” Namjoon sternly speaks before standing up, still carrying his child.

“But daddy, I was too full and I said sorry.” Jay hugs his daddy tighter while wiping his own tears, “No you’re not going to get anything before you have your breakfast.” She approaches the little one and grabs him, Jay cries loud again and holds onto his father for dear life.

It aches Namjoon’s heart when he sees his child like that, he turns away and uses his palm to gently stop his wife from approaching them again. “Let me deal with this, he’s my child too.” He frowns before he goes to Jay’s bedroom and puts him down on his bed, he kneels down and cups his cheeks. “It’s okay baby, mommy wasn’t wrong, you can’t have your ice cream before breakfast,”

“But the bowl was too big, I’m full.” Jay rubs his eyes, his crying finally coming to an end, but the child is still sad. “Hmm, don’t you wanna be tall and big like daddy?” Namjoon pokes his son’s nose softly, “It’s okay you don’t have to finish your breakfast today, but I’ll tell you a secret,” He even whispers and inches closer to his son, a smile already starting to creep on Jay’s face when he’s enjoying the tiniest interaction with his father.

“We’ll go get you ice cream, but we cannot tell mommy, she’s not invited to our ice cream party.” And Jay looks at his father and it breaks Namjoon’s heart to see his son broken and crying over some stupid ice cream.

“Who were you talking to earlier?” She asks and gain’s his attention, she standing near the door frame with her arms crossed over her chest, he looks at her and wonders for a second when was the last time this woman showered?

He turns to his son’s closet and picks out a pair of sneakers. “Let’s get you dressed.”

“Who were you talking to?” Her voice gets louder and Namjoon doesn’t even flinch, he’s used to her being crazy and asking useless questions, he gets back on his knees and helps his son with his shoes. “Why do you care?” He asks, not looking back at her again.

“Just so you know, your son has been crying the entire morning asking for you, and he didn’t finish eat breakfast because you were too busy being on your phone.” She’s blabbering and even her son ignores her and asks his father. “Can I bring  mister broccoli with me?”

Mister broccoli was a stuffed toy that Namjoon got as a gift for Jay when he took his first flight ever with his father, the little one is extremely attached to this toy specifically and he wouldn’t let any of his cousins touch it.

Namjoon nods eagrly. “Go get him.”

Jay runs back to the living room and Namjoon rolls his eyes before he looks at his wife one last time. “I would appreciate it if you try and not pick an argument in front of him.” He cannot stand this woman.

She scoffs, “At least try and be a good father, try and be there for your son. He cried all night.”

Namjoon hates being called a bad parent, he isn’t. He finds himself gritting on his teeth and his heartbeat pounds faster in his chest. “Oh trust me, I’m a better parent than you are.”

Jay’s presence back in the room that eases Namjoon down immediately, even though he guaranteed divorce, but still he has to contain himself in front of his son, last week’s incident was a tough lesson for him.

“Daddy can I put mister broccoli in the back seat with me? I also want him to wear the seat belt.” Jay’s playful tone makes Namjoon mouth twitch in a smile, he nods and prints small soft kisses all over his son’s face. “I’ll let you put the seat belt for him, deal?”

Namjoon’s been flying nonstop and he’s very tired and he needs to catch some sleep to make it up for the nights he stayed up at work, he’s very exhausted but he can never say no to his son.

He grabs Jay’s tiny hands and leaves the place, leaving the woman behind him fuming. They get down to the car and Namjoon even gives Jay the key to unlock the car, and the little one is staring at his father with heart eyes, he always tried his best to give him anything he wishes for.

Namjoon opens the back door and puts mister broccoli next to the car seat, he teaches his son how to buckle the seat belt and Jay ends up doing it on his own, Namjoon gets this cute aggression around his son that he grabs his face tightly and sucks his cheek into a kiss. He can do it forever.

He finally helps Jay get into his car seat and buckles him up, before they head to their ice cream date.

-

Your shift is finally over by the afternoon, you hand over everything to the team on the next shift and you call a cab home, you were near breaking down and balling your eyes out, nothing major really, you’re just hormonal and tired.

Hoseok was supposed to drive you back home but you instantly regret it when he calls you from the court and says that he needs an hour to be there because something was scheduled urgently today.

You get home and take your clothes off, instant relief when you ditch the fabric off of your skin on a hot summery day, you change into your pajamas and head to the kitchen to turn on the kettle for tea, you don’t usually get that big of an appetite when you’re on your period so food is the last thing you consider making, your doorbell rings and you head to check the cameras, it’s the man you told to come over, the man you’ve been waiting for.

You unlock the door and a warm breeze of air immediately wafts through the entrance carrying the smell of his musky perfume, “Hey, Come in.” You tilt your head inviting him to come on in inside, and the second he steps foot inside your house he inhales, the smell feels nostalgic to him even when he’s been here only once.

Your place has this distinctive smell, it smells clean and fresh, a hint of fruitiness to it, your diffuser is always on so it always smells good, and Namjoon has picked up the hint of the floral scent you spray your furniture with, and also picked up your smell. Your odor is engraved into his head and he can smell it even when it’s layers away or even miles away, he finds it arousing.

He enters the house and hands you a small grocery bag that’s been sitting in his hands. “Are you okay? You look tired.” He steps closer to you and tugs your hair behind your ear.

“I’m fine, what’s that?” You open the bag to check out what’s inside, your heart melts when you see that he actually put in the effort to buy you pain killers, a heating pad and chocolates, even when you already have every item in your household. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” A genuine smile creeps on your face and he smiles back at you before pinching your cheek softly, you inch closer to him and give him a soft peck on his dimple that leaves him blushing, but hardly noticeable though.

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” He takes off his shoes and you see him walking inside, again even when he’s been here once, he knows this place like the back of his hand, you know that he’s comfortable around you even when the two of you haven’t known each other for long, he feels familiar and he feels close.

You walk into your bedroom and he follows you, he takes a quick scan at your room and he can tell that you’ve been in bed and you’re planning to spend the rest of your day in bed even when he’s here, nothing sexual planned at all though.

“Do you want me to help you with the heating pad?” He’s standing so close behind you that you feel his breath his your neck, you swallow and exhale with a shiver running through your spine, you nod softly and fish out the heating pad from the bag, “On my back please.”

“Okay.” He softly speaks before going down on both of his knees, you grab your top and pull it up for him to have better access, and he opens the wrapper and takes the pad out, he prints the softest kiss on your lower back right by the end of your tatted spine before he sticks the pad onto it and pulls your top back down. “There you go.”

You could swear he kissed your pain away, or it’s probably the endorphin rushing through your entire body when you saw him at your doorstep.

“Make yourself at home, I need to make tea first.” You’re about to turn but his hands sit on your hips, putting a soft amount of pressure, he presses his lips against your shoulder for a little kiss and whispers. “It’s okay, get in bed, I’ll make you tea.” He even kisses the same spot again before heading to the kitchen.

What is he doing to you?

You get to take a quick glance of his back when he’s leaving the room and you feel your face heat up, your hand sits on your cheek and you try to ease your quickening breath, you never felt this way towards anyone and it feels different, your stomach is pinching you and you’re unsure if it’s the cramps or what?

You’re worried for a second, you don’t know if he’s doing this because he wants to, or because he’s trying to get you into bed again? You know he’s in a miserable marriage so he might just do everything because there’s a benefit for him.

You make your way to your bed and you hear his footsteps coming closer and your heart races again at his aura, he enters the room with a cup of tea in one hand, and the box of pain killers in the other one, he approaches your side of the bed and rests the cup onto the nightstand before handing you a pill from the box, you look at him in the face and you tilt your head, his eyes lift up and lock into yours.

For a long moment both of you are studying each other.

You were never able to find out people’s intentions right away, you are very smart and really wit, you sometimes make assumptions that turn out to be true just out of coincidence. But Kim Namjoon was too difficult to read, well at least to you.

Or maybe he is easy to read, but after you found out that he masked his misery and his years long marriage, it became difficult for you to really find out what were his intentions. You appreciate what he’s trying to do, but you don’t know why he’s doing it.

You actually consider introducing him to your friends just because they know how men think and what are their real intentions, Taehyung can easily judge people and he was never wrong.

As for him.

His eyes travel between yours, then move down to your nose and lips, up to the loose strand of your hair that’s tickling your jaw, he feels drawn to you in ways he cannot explain, and if he wants to reflect on the overall situation, he easily admits that he changed after he met you, you changed him, he’s a better version of himself when he’s around you, he’s looking at you and memorizing every single detail on your face, you’re not like her, you’re not like any of them women.

Actually it’s way easier than you think, Namjoon was too easy to read, if you just stop the over thinking for a second and see the way he stares at you, you could easily tell that the man is developing something for you, let’s just call it a crush for the mean time, you don’t know the effect you have on this man.

“Thank you.” You grab the pill into your mouth and chase it with water before pulling the blanket over your body, he stands up and takes his shirt off, after all, it was really warm that day.

And goodness you forgot how big this man is, you immediately look away because you know your body gets way too excited at the thought of Namjoon naked. And you also hate to admit it, but your sex drive is usually on fire on your first day of your period.

“You can sleep if you want to, I’m here if you needed anything.” He walks to the other side of the bed and lies down next to you.

You simply nod, maybe he was right when he told you this morning that this is more than just a hookup.

Minutes later, you close your eyes but you’re not asleep, he probably thinks you are, but you can’t, you open one eye and look at him, he’s lying on his back with one arm behind his head and his phone in the other hand, he’s reading something, clearly a book. His eyelids feel heavy and he puts down the phone on the night stand next to him before he adjusts in bed and falls asleep while hugging a pillow.

And suddenly you feel this flood of emotions wash through your entire body, and you feel bad for the man, a smart good looking sensitive man whose desperate to feel loved and touched after all these years, he’s practically a virgin even when he isn’t.

You huff and hide your face under the blanket, you cannot believe that you actually validate his reasons and give him the right to cheat, you even start thinking that him cheating should be worth it.

He’s a human being with feelings, and you feel like you can offer him some of his needs.

You crawl closer and pull the blanket over his body, you even grab the pillow away from him and hold onto his wrist to and put it around your waist, he’s not in deep sleep yet, so he opens his eyes for a second and processes the fact that you’re going to sleep in his arms, he tightens the grip around and pulls you even closer to him whilst whispering in your ear. “Do you want me to get you anything? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” You bury your face into his neck and both of you fall asleep in a click of a button.

It’s almost like both of you felt safe enough to go into deep sleep when you’re around each other.

You don’t know yet, or maybe you do but won’t admit, but you’re developing something for him too.

[likeastarstar]

11:55 PM - Namjoon

"We need to go home, now." 

You stared at your boyfriend with a blank expression, looking around at Hobi's listening party in full swing. He had a drink in his hand and emptied the glass, shoving it onto the nearest flat surface so he wouldn't have to deal with it any longer. 

There were a million people around you and even more cameras but he didn't seem to care, stepping closer to you until your body was flush against his. You instinctively gripped the soft material of his shirt in your hands, holding yourself steady against him as you craned your neck up towards him.

"Why? We just got here?" You asked quietly, letting him wrap a lazy, long arm around you and walk you backwards to a quieter spot in the room, out of sight from prying eyes. 

"We've been here long enough- I made the rounds, listened to the album, told Hobi hyung it all sounded great- now let's go home." He whined. "Come on, this is the first night off I've taken in over a week, I miss you.

Namjoon had been pretty busy lately. So busy that you had barely seen him, this party was the first time the two of you had been in the same place in a week. You accepted it, that was just one of the things that came with dating an idol. You looked around the area you had snuck away to, spotting no one but Jin hiding back here, who widened his eyes and rushed off somewhere else with an amused look on his face. You scoffed, calling after him to stop but he ignored you, halfway across the party at this point. Namjoon watched him go and laughed, 

"Why'd he run away from us? He's gonna think we're fucking back here," You joked.

"I am trying to fuck you back here," Namjoon said plainly, hands cupping your face with urgency.

You threw him a look and shook your head like you were reprimanding a child, "No."

"But I'm so fucking stressed," He whined, "And I need you."

"You need me?" You breathed out, standing up straighter. 

You'd be lying if you said you didn't miss him too. He hummed in affirmation, a satisfied little smirk gracing his full lips like a predator that had caught it's prey.

"Need you bad, baby," He repeated, "Need to hold your hips in my hands. Want you to ride me and I need you to tell me how good it feels to be stretched out. Wanna fuck into you until you cry- doesn't that sound good?"

"Y-Yeah, it does. I wanna cry on your cock," You admitted, whispering against his lips. 

He kissed you with an open mouth, prying your lips apart with his tongue and fucking it into you roughly. If he hadn't been holding you up, you probably would've already melted on the spot, arching your back into him. 

"Come on, I'll do everything you like- shove my fingers down your throat when I fuck you just like last time, remember? God, you came so hard- you'll put anything in that mouth of yours, huh? How far does your oral fixation go, don't wanna test it tonight?" He teased in the lowest of tones, his deep voice rattling in your head and sending vibrations down your spine. 

His leg shoved itself between your knees and pushed up, catching you off-guard as he slammed you against the wall, caging you in with a hand pressed flat against the wall. You were glad you wore a dress and rutted shamelessly against the top of his thigh, thankful that no one else was around to see you like this. 

"You're so mean," You seethed, burying your face in his chest and breathing in his cologne to center yourself. 

"Yeah, well," he laughed sadistically, "You're wet. Can we go home now?"

"Yes," You said urgently, his hand finding yours and already pulling you towards the exit. 

masterlist.