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#nct dream fanfiction
neopuppy · 2 months
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Angel Baby (M)
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pairing. alpha Jaemin x pregnant female omega reader
genre. *gasp* and they were neighbors AU, non-traditional ABO, single & pregnant y/n, fluff, smut, M/F
warnings. profanity, alpha/omega dynamics, ‘pup’ instead of ‘baby’, possible inaccuracies(writer has absolutely never been pregnant), pregnancy aches & cravings, smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.
wc. 8000
now playing. angel baby//Troye Sivan
smut warnings. unprotected sex, pregnant sex, lactation, use of ‘mama’ and ‘mommy’, breast fondling, fingering, oral, slick, painful orgasm(for Jaemin), etc
a/n. wanted to title this fic Orgasm Donor sooooooo bad, but tumblr whack these days
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“You know even though this is my first pregnancy, it’s not that bad.” You proudly nod, dipping another blue cheese filled olive into a cup of hazelnut spread. “I haven’t even been having those weird cravings everyones always going on about.”
Jaemin stops working on setting up his old coffee machine, shifting his gaze to watch you pop another olive coated with sweet cream in your mouth before you struggle to open a jar of pickles. “No weird cravings?”
“Nope.” You shrug, smiling triumphantly only to quickly fall into a frown as you squeeze around the jar more without budge. 
He hums, twisting around to grab the jar from your hands and open it himself, nodding and smiling as he passes it back to you. You thank him, whispering that you could have opened it before continuing to munch and dunk a pickle into the spread and proceed to pour coconut shavings on it. “That’s a good thing. What about that uh, morning sickness?”
“Haven’t really had that either.” You murmur between bites, lifting your hand to cover your mouth, your other reaching to rub your stomach. “Means I’m going to have a very sweet and calm pup.”
“How’s your back feeling today?” He asks, thinking about how you’d hissed and made a pained face yesterday while trying to pick up a basket of laundry. 
“Oh it’s..” putting on a smile, you wave him off. “—It’s fine, the doctor said my last trimester would be the hardest on my body.”
Jaemin turns back around to set the water cartridge in place for the coffee machine. He wants to add that your doctor also recommended staying off your feet, massages since you need to avoid hot water, and while it may be uncomfortable- try to stay off your back while sleeping. You always managed to change the subject whenever he attempted to mention a spa day to pamper yourself, or even offered his own hands to knead your tired feet.
“Offer still stands.” He reminds you, running the machine to clean it out. It’s only fair he sets it up anyway. It’s for him, since he’s been staying at your apartment longer than his own these days. “What about your Gochujang cravings?”
You instantly shy away, hiding your face to your shoulder demurely. The reminder of why and how Jaemin’s become such an integral part of your daily life always makes you feel embarrassed. “The tub I stole from you is nearly empty.”
“I’ll have to get you more next time I go to the store.”
Jaemin, while fond of the memory, also recalls it with embarrassment. It was 3 in the morning when he heard repeated light knocks that quickly escalated to heavier more determined knocks. He stumbled out of bed reaching for a hoodie to throw on and cover up his bare chest, slowly trudging down the hallway from his bedroom to the front door. “Yeah yeah, hold on.”
With half asleep swollen eyes he opened the door to find you frantic, eyes blown wide and your hands clasped together under your stomach smiling at him nervously. “I’m so so so sorry about this.”
He quickly snapped awake upon seeing your panicked expression, standing up straight and rubbing his sleep tired eyes. “It’s fine, seriously. Is it the pup?? Are you okay??”
“No no, pups fine..” you trail off, laughing anxiously. “My grocery order was missing a few items and you see.. I’m eating some apples, a little late night snack..”
Jaemin nods confused, relieved that your water didn’t break early or something. “My delivery person refunded the Gochujang I ordered. I guess they were out at the store.” You explain, feeling silly and terrible at the same time for waking your neighbor over this. You hardly even know him beyond the first run-in you had the day you moved in. “I was just wondering if maybe you have any to spare? If not it’s okay. I’m seriously sorry, I thought about texting you, but I don’t have your number.” 
He perks up at the mention of Gochujang, squinting at the idea of needing chili pepper paste for your apples. “I do have some actually. I just went to the market a few days ago. Here, why don’t you come in for a minute while I grab it.”
“Are you sure? I can just be on my way, and bring you back the container tomorrow..”
“No no, it’s fine.” He yawns, motioning for you to follow him to the kitchen. “So, apples and Gochujang?”
“It’s sooo good, the hint of spice really pairs well with the crunch.” 
“Should you be eating something this spicy, uh, right now?” He questions, wondering if that’s good for a baby, mentally noting to look that up online later.
“Oh, I love a little spice.” You nod, looking him over now under the kitchen light. “Nice sweater..”
Jaemin makes a confused sound, shutting the fridge to look down at himself with a container of Gochujang in hand. “Oh..” he tries to smile when you snort, rubbing his free hand down the large bold black letters reading ‘Orgasm Donor’ on the white hoodie. “It was a joke gift from my friends.. I didn’t uh..”
“Is it true?” You ask coyly, glancing away when he looks at you surprised.
“Is what true?” He retorts, not awake enough to catch the way you grin and shyly bite your thumb nail.
“Are you charitable?”
He’s struck for a minute, blinking slowly in disbelief that the cutest pregnant Omega he’s ever seen is currently standing in his kitchen at 3 in the morning desperate for chili paste to eat with her apples flirting with him? The same Omega he watches waddle through the halls after picking up her mail leaving behind the softest traces of fresh whipped creamy milk? The same one he couldn’t help but notice had no mating mark adorning her long beautiful much too bare neck? 
Peering bewildered from the front of his hood back to you more than a few times, he gapes like a fish, lifting up the tub of Gojuchang. “Yeah, anything you need, I’m always an apartment away. I work from home now too so don’t worry about showing up whenever you want, I’ll give you anything you want.” He says too eagerly, stepping forward with a smile. “Like this chili paste.”
What are the chances you show up at his door like a glowing dream, leaving your warm milky scent behind that softly carries him back to his dreams. Dreams full of you, your smile when he passes by, the cute way you struggle to bend over and frown because your belly has just gotten too big.
He could tell after that you needed more help than you were willing to let on, especially by the number of packages showing up at your doorstep varying from small to way too large for you to be handling on your own.
“Hey, remember when I said you can come to me for anything?” He said approaching you attempting to push a new extra large package through your door. “I meant anything, consider me your new delivery man, alright?”
“Ah, you really don’t have to. I still owe you for the Gojuchang..” the same paste you shamelessly never returned- that Jaemin would never ask you to bring back anyway. 
“You don’t owe me anything.” He always made sure to reassure you with a large smile, removing his shoes as he entered your apartment and asked for directions.
“It’s a new drawer for the baby.” You said, motioning toward the spare bedroom you’d begun to decorate. From that day he refused to let you handle any furniture building on your own, to the point that he felt invasive for barging into your life this way. 
The few comments you made here and there gave him enough hint that you’re on your own. No Omega soon to give birth should be alone, this is one of the most vulnerable times you will ever experience in your life. Besides, he likes helping you. He loves to hear you gasp when he effortlessly picks up the new crib you ordered, loves to hear your comments about how strong he is. Loves to still have your scent swarming around his head when he returns back to his apartment, and he really really loves being around you.
That’s why a coffee machine in your apartment has become necessary. After a quick shower and brushing his teeth, he’s already on the way out, taking a few short steps to your place.
“Good morning.”
It’s become your normal day, sitting around on the couch watching lamaze videos as you practice your breathing. Jaemin’s changed his schedule around to fit your lifestyle. You have no idea how you got lucky enough to move in next door to a not only ridiculously handsome and helpful Alpha, but an extremely polite and giving one at that. 
The nurses at your clinic always blush and giggle while he waits for you, drooling over the good looking built Alpha without a trace of mating mark on his skin. They’ve made a few comments to you, curious about him, curious about your relationship with him.
He’s not your Alpha, even if your Omega has started to believe so. How can you not with his constant concern for your wellbeing? The random gifts he brings to you, trying to pass them off as something he saw on his way home even though you saw the packages waiting at his door. He’s really been there for you, more caring than any Alpha you’ve been with before; including the absent one-night stand you had that wanted nothing to do with you when you contacted him to let him know. 
Sure, the predicament you’ve ended up in isn’t the best, but as you fold new onesies and put away matching pacifiers you can’t find the will to be upset with your decision, even if this isn’t the way you imagined your future to unfold.
“How are you feeling today?”
He’s been repositioning the furniture that’s already set-up in the pups future room, finding where you’d like the crib to be placed before working on building your new items. “Still having trouble sleeping?”
Yes, sleeping has been rather difficult. It’s been months now since your last heat. 9 months to be exact, landing yourself where you are now after the wild excursions your last put you through. Throwing up, swollen feet, random cravings, and an aching back can’t nearly compare to how insanely frustrating it is to lose sleep. The push and pull happening between your thighs to your brain always hits at night. It started after the month you first moved in, the dreams that had you waking up soaked with slick.
Your physician had explained that they would only get worse, seeing as Omegas typically have an Alpha to handle those issues. The pregnancy suppressing your heat in turn makes your hormones 100 times worse. 
And that is where Jaemin comes in, you tried to avoid him and keep your distance, but he’s just too damn nice. Making it impossible to turn down the Alphas unwarranted help, never asking anything of you in return, he simply wants to help.
After that night of craving chili paste, you solemnly patted your way back to your apartment, pathetically frowning at the tub of Gochujang you’d been craving.
Orgasm Donor?!? You could scream! The sexiest Alpha you’ve ever seen right next door in nothing but his boxers and a ridiculous sweater, it took all of the strength you could muster up from the moon Goddess herself to clamp your thighs shut and strain your muscles to not drip slick right there in his kitchen. 
The Alpha had to know by now how dizzy his presence alone makes you. Having to sit down whenever he steps foot inside of your place, you sigh, biting down on your lip to not drool over how tight his shirt is today. Each movement flexing the strong muscles lining his broad back too visible. Even after being bred enough to get pupped you can’t control how crazy your hormones have made you feel these last couple of months. No amount of balancing tea or vitamin in the world can quell the need to get absolutely fucked by the strong Alpha taking up space in your future nursing room.
“Still bad I take it?” He says before you can respond, too lost in your thoughts to realize how long you’ve been staring off fantasizing about all the ways he could take you.
“Does it show?” You ask self consciously, rubbing your stomach to comfort yourself. 
“Huh?” He turns, noticing that you’re playing with your hair, bringing it closer to your face. “Oh no no, you look as cute as ever.” He smiles that same charming toothy smile he always has specifically for you. “I just meant, y’know I worry about you getting enough sleep. I was reading and it’s important you get at least 10 hours minimum.”
“10 hours is wayyy too much..” you laugh, rubbing under your eyes trying to remember how bad your dark circles looked this morning. 
“I can definitely help you fall asleep.” He says casually, not understanding how feral your Omega is. The little voice inside of you growling and lunging forward to escape with a ‘bet you can’. How much longer can you really endure having this Alpha around before you make headlines.
PREGNANT WOMAN CHOMPS THROUGH HER NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR ALPHAS BICEPS, CLAIMS HER HORMONES GOT THE BEST OF HER!
How humiliating. If only he understood your true despair stems from him and how rabidly horny he’s gotten you.
“How does this work? You’ll be sleeping in your bedroom while the pup stays in here, or will you be ruining your back on this chair?”
Jaemin asks nonchalantly, carrying on the conversation you’ve been checking in and out of. Quietly humming to himself as he positions a cushion on the seat of the rocking chair he’s been working on assembling for the last hour. He definitely took longer than what he’d estimated in his mind when you mentioned your new crib and chair arriving today. Not that he’d ever admit that he wanted to scream after 10 minutes of searching for one screw that the instructions called for. He’s sure the crib will take another two hours to set up after this(if he’s lucky), biting back a sigh to not catch your attention the more he thinks about it.
“I think for nap time it’d be best to get the pup used to this room, I’m sure I’ll struggle to not sleep by his side every night at first..” you admit shyly, cupping under your stomach and rubbing over the round exterior. He wants to agree that there’s no way a newborn pup would want to leave your side; not with the way your face lights up whenever kicks beat against your stomach or when he brings you back from your doctor visits listening to all the exciting future plans you have lined up.
“It’s probably not my place to say, but you shouldn’t fall asleep in here much. This chairs not that comfortable..” he frowns, testing out the rocking motion. “I’m sure we can find another crib that could fit in your bedroom..”
“Another crib is a bit out of my budget right now.”
“Don’t worry about that.” He grins, standing up to tap the large cardboard box you’re perched on. “Isn’t that what baby showers are for? I’m sure your family has already stocked up on things to gift you.”
Ah, a baby shower. Of course, how could you fail to mention that neither of your parents have spoken to you since the day you showed up at their doorstep 3 months pregnant, unmated and out of wedlock. “Ah, you—you have a point.” You mumble nervously. “You’ve been at this for a bit, I’ll get the coffee brewing.”
“Coffee sounds great right now.” Jaemin says, helping you stand up without releasing your hands until he deems your ankles steady enough to walk on your own. “You know how I like it.”
“Four shots of espresso over ice?” 
“Exactly.” He winks your way, beginning to unbox the crib you’d shown him a few weeks ago. Some fancy overpriced one imported from Italy, a dream according to what you had said while he sat with you as you browsed through various baby decor online shops.
He really wanted to ask what the hell ever happened to Babies ‘R Us, recalling his days working across the street from one, but you looked too happy smiling wide as you showed him the different canopy designs and various woods used to customize each one.
“It’s perfect for a boy, don’t you think?”
Ah, these are really questions you should be asking your Alpha.. if you had one. His lips draw down, peeling open the cribs manual to divide and separate each piece into small sections to start working out. 
It’s hard to believe an Alpha, any Alpha period could just up and leave their Omega to raise a child alone. Jaemin can’t forget the first day you moved in and struggled to drag your belongings down the hallway corridor creating an unnecessarily noisy ruckus outside of his apartment. He stormed out ready to curse you to hell for waking him up, having come home from the gym late the night prior and hoping to catch a few more Z’s that morning. The shout ready to exit his lips hung in the air upon seeing you nearly tip over and let a bag full of clothes spill onto the floor instead of risking the chance to fall and land on your stomach.
You had to have been only a few months along at the time, barely showing a small bump. You hadn’t spotted him yet as you stood there looking over your neatly folded clothes falling apart and making a big mess to clean up. Stress and exhaustion pulled at your soft glowing face, slowly sliding down to your knees to throw everything back in the bag you’d been carrying.
He contemplated speaking up, opening and shutting his mouth as he watched a tear slip down your cheek, swallowed past the seam of your lips. Anyone with half a brain would be able to read the room and assume you weren’t in the best situation given your state at the time. Still he couldn’t help but take in your pretty skin, glossy eyes batting away more tears from pouring, and the small pout permanently etched on your lips as you gathered your things.
“Here, let me help.” He said, deciding to bend over and grab your bag as you shoved in the last of your clothes. To your surprise, you glanced up, jaw hanging as you started to shake your head. “New neighbor?”
Everything progressed slowly from that moment. Sure, at first it was all a coincidence how often he’d find you having a hard time carrying packages from the mail, out of breath lugging your groceries from your car, cursing loudly whenever you’d burnt dinner and set off your fire alarms. He can’t deny making an effort after your first month next door to check in on you, whether you asked for help or not. Especially after the night you showed up begging for chili paste. Without being too intrusive he picked up on hints, figuring out that the Alpha that got you pregnant was clearly no longer a part of your life.
Instinctively he had to do what any respectable Alpha would willingly want to do. Helping you through these past 5 months has been entertaining to say the least. There’s a bit of charm to your silly nature, to how often you whine and complain about your feet getting wider, your back hurting, the odd cravings that hit in the middle of the night. The ones you still deny are cravings, he snorts thinking about that.
Jaemin’s had more fun getting to know you than he has had with some of his long term relationships, even turning down potential Omegas to spend weekends with you. Someone has to be here to make sure you don’t burn your spaghetti again..
And there’s a possible chance he’s developed some feelings, feelings beyond friendship. Could just be his Alpha viewing you as his mate, watching your stomach grow and expand every week does drive him a little crazy, just a tad. 
“Hmm,” realizing he’s been reading the same paragraph over and over again without registering any instructions, he looks around and sits up. You’ve definitely been gone for longer than 10 minutes by now..
“How’s that coffee coming along?” He asks, jogging down the hall, feet hitting the brakes as soon as he makes it to the end. “Shit.”
“I—I don’t know what happened.” You cry, hands shaking above a broken mug and spilled dark liquid.
“Are you hurt?!” He rushes forward, falling to a squat to reach for your arms, hands pausing mid-air. “Oh my God..”
“I’m—I’m sorry, please don’t look..” you whine, hunching in to hide your breasts. It’s useless to try, completely leaked through your shirt leaving your pert nipples completely visible through the thin soaked material clinging to your ample chest. 
“You’re—“ Jaemin stutters, swallowing a thick wad of saliva, mouth going dry at once as the sweet creamy scent of breast milk swirls around his tonsils. “I need t-to help you.”
“S’ok, I got it..” 
“No no, come on.” He gulps, gently grabbing a firm hold on your waist to bring you back up with him. Against his insane willpower, he has to look. He has to lower his gaze and focus on how your breasts bounce as you find your balance. They’re so full, look painful and ready to burst. He’d read about this.. how Omegas can begin to lactate months prior to giving birth depending on how often they typically go into heat. He thought informing himself of all the possibilities would make everything much less daunting, but there’s no way to deny how fucking good the scent rolling off your warm flesh tastes as it seeps through his senses. 
And when you regain your balance, reaching behind yourself to grab at the kitchen counter ledge, your chest shoves out even more, inadvertently spurting milky liquid from your nipples. He tries to keep his scent calm, tries to look away, tries to stop his fingers from itching to cup and squeeze out more. But fuck everythings hitting at once, spiking his scent, thrumming through his cock until it twitches against the inside of his sweats.
He should be ashamed, ashamed for objectifying this vulnerable moment, for imagining his lips sucking around your leaking buds, dragging the material of your shirt past his mouth to suck it clean.
“Alpha..” you moan, shattering any ounce of guilt he felt. Snapping his gaze to your face he nearly crumbles at your wet parted lips, the tears clinging to your lower lashes. 
“I know Mama.” He agonizes, tightly gripping your waist as he works to take deep breaths through his mouth and blow out slowly, averting his gaze away from your body. “L-let me help you change.”
The last time he can recall feeling this feral had to have been the day before he woke up in his first rut. He’d been at the gym working up a sweat, arms on fire by the time he exited the weight training room and decided to end with cardio. Plans went astray when he neared a treadmill to hop on and looked around only to realize the gym had to have been full of Omegas. Omegas perspiring a damn storm judging by the way the aroma of sweet honey caramel skin and lush petals of Jasmine slapped him across the face. He had to leave after a minute to calm himself, head dizzy and feet off balance as he made his way to the lockers to melt away his perverse thoughts.
Even the hard-on he suffered to jerk off that night could not compare to how painfully his cock aches right now. Throbbing faster than a rapid heartbeat, he even fears his dick could burst if he has to swallow anymore of your scent, if he can’t rip his gaze away from your perky delectable nipples.
“Alpha, I’m hot.”
Fuck. You are. You’re so hot. He nods, unrealizing that he’s agreeing, not even noticing how scorching hot your skin feels through the material of your shirt. “T-think I should l-leave.” He says begrudgingly, feeling like a failure, a coward.
“Please.”
That’s it. That’s all it takes to strip away the last bit of self control he could come up with. It wasn’t much anyway, the mixture of your breast milk and delicious pregnant scent combined could send him straight into an impromptu rut. “A-are you sure?” 
He licks at his plump lips, leaving a film of saliva over his naturally pink pout that makes your thighs squeeze together. Even with shards of broken mug too close to your feet and the pungent smell of coffee wafting between you, all you can think about is how big the Alpha is. He’s so big in front of you right now, bringing your need to feel small and taken care of to light. The independence you’ve convinced yourself of all dissipating with his large hands rubbing up and down your sides, arms flexing from the tense struggle running through his body.
“What should I do mama? Hmm? I need to clean you up.” The fear he had of taking the next giant leap of a step with you quickly exits, furrowing his eyebrows as he takes in your sobbing pretty face. He’s used that nickname a few times before, always sending shivers up your spine, but it’s worse now. The sugary tone he speaks to you in, so cute, striking each nerve as he moves you to the counter to get your bare feet away from the mess.
“Please Alpha, I feel..” thick arms wrap around your waist, laying his forehead gently on yours. 
“Tell me where it hurts.”
It’s too hard to say anything with the tremors his question releases throughout your body, searching for his hand to slide it down past your stomach between your legs where slick has already started to seep through your leggings. “Here.”
“Fuck.” He hisses, biting down on his teeth. “You’re making me crazy, you know that?”
“S-sorry,” you hiccup, squeezing around his hand cupping your middle. “That’s w-where—hurts..”
He tsks, shoving inside your bottoms to drag his fingers through the wad of slick gathered between your folds. It’s so much, leaking out profusely, covering his palm and wrists as he slides in deeper to tease your hole. “Messy, so damn messy mama.”
“Ah, d-don’t!” You croon, eyes welling up with tears from the relief of finally having your pussy touched by someone other than yourself. Harder and harder to reach past your stomach most nights, you succumb to whimpering into your pillow frustrated, fantasizing that your neighbor would hear your distress and gallop in on a horse like your knight in shining armor. “Don’t call me t-that.”
“No?” He frowns, nose brushing yours. “But your pussy tightens up around my fingers so good when I do, mommy.”
“Alpha! Ugh!” Dropping your neck, you let out a long winded cry. Panting short of breath from his thumb working furiously to harden your clit. “S’too—too dirty, p-please!”
“You’re right,” his tongue clicks, echoing around the kitchen. “You are still so so dirty mommy.”
With one arm he manages to lift your butt onto the counter, nodding for you to scoot on with a pat on your hip. He settles between your parted thighs, reaching for the hem of your shirt. “Wait!” You panic, gripping around his wrists. “Don’t..don’t want you to see..”
“What??” Gasping surprised, he blinks confused, rubbing the fabric of your shirt between his fingers.
“My body right now—“ you flush, darting your gaze away ashamed. “Don’t want you to see..
“Nonsense.” He snaps, using a firmer tone with you that you’re not accustomed to hearing. “You think this,” touching your stomach, he glides upward to cup and squeeze your breasts. “And this? Doesn’t make me feel rabid out of my damn mind to fuck you right here, break the laws of humanity and wolf alike, get you pregnant with my pup somehow?”
It’s the angriest he’s ever looked, wrinkled between his nose and eyebrows, glaring at his heavy palms kneading your breasts to make more milk trickle. “Fuck, I’ve tried so hard to know my place, to show you nothing but respect..”
“S-stop,” you gulp, letting go of his wrists to smooth up and squeeze his biceps, clawing your short nails into the muscles. “Disrespect me, please Alpha..”
Big round eyes stare at you full of shock, taking in how you bite on your lip shyly. The trickles of milk so creamy and thick, spilling down his hands to his flexed forearms. “One thing I’ll never do—“ pressing in, he licks at your Cupid’s bow, long eyelashes blinking against your cheek. “Is disrespect you.”
The sound of your shirt ripping open has you gasping, sinking your nails deeper into his muscles. “But since you asked so fucking nicely.”
He gets the message quickly as you reach for the collar of his shirt and pull hard enough to stretch the fabric, quickly stepping back to strip it off and fully display his well built shoulders and chest. The gurgle from your throat that follows pleases him, returning your hands to feel every inch of new muscle you weren’t familiar with. His mouth is too thirsty, salivating as he takes your full breasts again without anything to hide your swollen nipples and admires them for less than a minute. Lapping at his wet lips as he shoves between your cleavage, licking up the remnants of dried and fresh milk with a deep groan.
Fuck. It’s incredible, nothing he’s ever tasted before. Sweet nectar that can only pour from a fertile breedable Omega built to birth healthy pups. Every sense and nerve in his system lights on fire, digging his face between your ample chest despite your cried moans. It’s bliss, more intense and real than anything, shoving his tongue between your tits to fuck the small gap. 
“Alpha!” 
Breast milk won’t stop running down his arms, opening his mouth wide to capture one of your hard nipples. The nub digs against the roof of his mouth, slurping down the cream as your other tit leaks akin to a broken faucet. “So fucking good mommy.” Jaemin says roughly, pulling away to look over your pleasured face. 
His lips swollen pink with a sheen milky layer, completely debauched as he goes in for more and attends to your other nipple. They swell up after many nibbles, gently digging his teeth into your firm buds. Each suck tastes sweeter than the last as your scent spikes and Omegan arousal swirls around him. The strong tones of milk mixing in with yours has his Alpha fanatic, jerking his hips against the kitchen counter for some type of friction on his cock.
“Alpha please, my pussy, please.” You ask too innocently, as if the activity that expanded your stomach out in the first place didn’t prove otherwise. He grunts for you to wait, shoving his face back in-between your bosom, jiggling the fleshy meat against his cheeks. If not for your hips jumping up he’d continue to assault your tits, spend hours playing with them until you have nothing else left to quench his insatiable thirst.
“Bet your pussy tastes just as sweet.” He grumbles, moving down onto his knees to pull off your leggings and panties in one go. “Fucking hell.” 
The amount of slick painted across your thighs and ass could compete with the local community pool, maybe even replenish a tiny village. His cock jump’s fiercely at the sight before him, lavving the residue of breast milk on his lips for a clean taste as he dives in. 
“Jaemin!” You shout, scrambling to grab onto something at the first stroke of the Alphas tongue prodding between your chubbed folds. The sounds he makes only add fuel to the fire, releasing more slick with each deep growl and bated panting breath.  
“Taste so damn good Omega,” he hums, enamored by how syrupy and powerful your scent slaps him across the face from between your thighs. Shuffling forward on his knees, he holds your thighs open to stretch his jaw wide and roll his tongue from your entrance to your clit, jolting your legs to kick the kitchen drawers with his skills.
Everything feels so good, spinning your mind around. The only frustration as you peer down is the sight of your round stomach completely hiding the Alphas lustful gaze and sloppy tongue. “Alpha, pleasepleaseplease!” sobbing, you kick at the drawers again. “Can’t see your face! C-can’t see!”
Jaemin shoots up at the sound of your affliction, eyes blown wide with concern as he reaches for your shoulders to sit you up. “Shh shh, I’m here.” He smiles, a disaster of slick covering his nose, lips and chin. “Look at me pretty mama.”
“Mmm..” reaching for his face, you smear the slick on his lips. “Messy.”
“Messy for you.” He kisses at your thumbs, sucking on the tip of one he captures. “Such a bad mommy, wants to watch her pussy get ate?”
Nodding feebly you move to stroke his neck, squeezing around. “Can’t see you down there..”
“Stay like this okay?” He instructs, pecking you, leaving slick on your chin. “Sit just like that, you’re doing so good for me mama.”
Setting your palms on the counter, he opens your thighs up a little wider, getting down into a squat to keep his head at level with your knees. “Keep your pretty eyes on me. Gonna make you feel good.”
His eyes stay on yours, one palm splayed on your thigh as his other reaches just under your navel. Stretching his neck back into an uncomfortable angle, his tongue hangs out, blinking up at you before diving back in to lap at your clit. Wide firm licks catch your sensitive folds, face rocking back and forth to really let you feel his tongue stroking between each crevice.
Big watery doll eyes stay facing up to watch you fall apart, scratching at the counter desperately to not reach for his hair to slam his face in deeper. Slippery hot stiff pressure teases under your clit, he keeps it there twitching the muscle until your hips start to rock forward and tears erupt from the corners of your eyes. The heat inside of your stomach pools, coiling up to your chest making it harder to breathe. He keeps at it for another minute until your eyebrows scrunch together. 
The lick he delivere to your clit sparks raging nerves up your spine, arching forward and nearly losing your balance on the counter to fuck his face. 
Dipping lower he finally plunges as much of his tongue as he can inside of you, slapping your inner thigh when you shout out in pleasure. The thick fat muscle rubs at your inner walls, sucking down the slick that tries to choke him out. Much like your breasts, he could spend hours just like this between your supple thighs, memorizing the way you fall apart and shake from every lap and stroke of his tongue.
Finally caving, you grip onto his hair, crying out brokenly. “I’m c-cum—“ his tongue disappears before you can complain, moving to stand and shove three fingers inside your cunt. “Ahhh!”
“Look at me mama, be good for Alpha.” He orders throatily, vocals thick and corded with slick. “Squeeze that pretty pussy around my fingers, give it to me.”
“Jaem—Alpha!” The heels of your feet slam against the drawers painfully, reaching for his wrist as he jerks the three digits stretching you open. Bicep rippling from the strength being used to shoot your release out around his relentless working fingers. “S’too—good.”
“God you cum so fucking pretty.” He sighs, gently drawing free to rub your clit while you twitch against him. Lips finding yours to calm your high with tender kisses.
“Come here pretty.” Jaemin says huskily, daring to scoop you up without a hitch, bare round stomach pressed to his smooth abs just enough to not apply pressure. He turns toward your living room, setting you down on the couch to grab a few pillows. “Here baby, let me make it comfortable for you.”
“Alpha..” you whine, still conscious of how big you must look on your back like this. He only smiles, bending in close to kiss your lips. 
“I can’t knot you, don’t want you to stay in this position too long.” He says, sweating through excruciating horny pangs shooting through his dick. 
“Please Jaemin, want you i-inside.” You beg much too prettily, pulling his lips back to bare his teeth. He wants to be gentle with you so badly, wants to focus on you and make you cum to your heart’s content. But God you aren’t making it easy.
“Only for a little, okay?” He says raggedly, hoisting you to sit leaned against the pillows to take pressure off your lower back and still make it easy to get between your legs. “If it’s too much I’ll stop.”
“Won’t be too much Alpha, need you so bad.” You say drowsily, still drunk from the orgasm his fingers and mouth ripped out of you. He nods, tugging on the string holding his sweats up, blushing when he sees the giant wet stain of pre-cum that’s leaked through the cotton fabric. “I should put a condom on.”
“I’m already knocked up.” You giggle, covering your face. “Don’t want anything between us.” 
Fuck. You’ll be the death of him talking like that. Pushing down his sweats, he gasps at how red the tip of his cock is, looking painful to the touch. There’s no way he’ll be able to last long enough to not pop a knot inside of you. 
“Alpha.” You whisper, angled perfectly in a half seated position to see how enraged his dick looks flush against his stomach. He doesn’t even have to stroke it, doesn’t want to out of fear of cumming before he even enters you.
“You sure about this?” He asks once more through gritted teeth, already lining the tip up to your entrance.
“Pl-lease.. haven’t gotten fucked in s-so long.” You hiccup, too excited, bending your neck in to watch his throbbing red cockead nudge against your hole.  
“Fuck! Ahh,” hissing, he gingerly grabs the base of his size, slowly pushing in until your cunt snaps around him. So tight, tight like you haven’t been fucked in months exactly as you just admitted. He’d fuck you so hard, make you take every inch until his dicks coming out of your nose. But now’s not the time, this isn’t about him no matter how hard the veins lining his length throb in disagreement. “Feel g-good?” He asks, licking at the sweat beading on his upper lip.
“M-more, please!”
He can’t do it, can’t push more than the tip in because it’d be too greedy. Even if he gets you off first it’d be too fucking greedy. As painful as it is to ignore the begging cries you let out, he opts to press down on your clit. Thumbing the stiff nub back and forth with short thrusts drawing the fat tip of his cock in and out enough to have a perfect view of your hole stretching around him. “So good, you’re doing so good for me mommy.”
“Alpha!” You twitch, lower back arching up starving for more. “P-please! Deeper!”
He wants to cave, give you everything you want, make you cum on his cock and bloat your stomach out even further with rivers of cum deep inside of you. “C-can’t.” He grits, grabbing onto your hips firmly to stop himself from thrusting in further. “D-don’t make me..”
“Need it! I need it!” You keep pleading, head tossed back with your wet spit slick lips parted open panting. “Fuck me! F-fuck me please! Put another baby in me!”
“Ahh, you c-can’t say that!” He growls in pain, digging the tips of his fingers into your hips hard enough to leave marks. You can’t say that, anything but that. “Mommy wants Alphas cum.” 
“Y-yes,” you whine, stroking down your stomach to direct his gaze beneath your navel. “Wanna feel you h-here, mommy wants it.”
“Shitshit,” that’s it, that’s enough to jerk his hips and push in another inch. How could you ask this of him? How could you act like such a sweet pilant breedable bitch, begging to get fucked and fucked until all you know how to do is get pupped. “Yeah, mommy wants it deep.”
His sack feels heavy as he plunges in the rest of his length inch by inch, slapping against your rim balls deep. “Get you pregnant again, keep you pupped up with my baby.” He rambles, focusing on not slamming his cock in like a wild animal. Having to squeeze his eyes shut to not cum when he sees your milk filled breasts bouncing up high enough to hit under your chin. “Fuckfuckfuck, you’re too much.”
He sounds so desperate, dying to ram into you faster with each rough grip on your hips. Pushing up off his knees, he squats to angle his cock in even deeper, making your lips fall open with a loud shouted moan. “Right t-there mama? Is that it? You want it there?” He asks, raspy and throaty, deep voice coming out from a deep torned place. 
“Alpha!” You stammer, spluttering the same words over and over again mindlessly. 
“Look at me,” he groans, bending in closer to cup your cheek and grind his hips. “W-wanna feel you cum on my cock. Gonna cum for me mama?”
“Fuck, ahh!” His thumb presses against your bottom lip, nodding with you as his other hand slips between your conjoined lower halves. Expert figure eights work more slick out making his cock slide in even easier if possible, wet and messy rivering down his inner thighs. 
“Cum for me, come on.” He growls, thrusting a little faster to chase your release. His balls slapping against the dip of your ass with each push in. The entirety of his length penetrates in and out, skyrocketing your pleasure by pinching your clit. Each flick and rub rushes heat through your stomach and chest, toes curling as you find his wide blown out eyes.
“F-fuck me, breed me full of cum.” You plead between gritted teeth, reaching to hold around his neck, suffocating the scream that rips from your chest. It’s been so long since you last had a release this strong, unable to even arch up with the weight of your stomach holding you down. You kick out and cry against his pouty lips, eyes rolling back.
“That’s it mommy,” he cries, eyes watering up as your walls squeeze the life from this dick and he has to do everything in his power to stop himself. His Alpha screaming at the top of its lungs to knot knot knot! Especially with the way you beg for it, the way your pussy swallows his dick whole and grovels to be knotted.
“Don’t p-pull out, please Alpha.” You sob, opening your hands in search of his. “Inside me, s-stay inside.”
“Ughh!” Jaemin can’t stop himself anymore, shoving his cock in to fill up to the brim with a few more sloppy thrusts. Reaching for your hands, he bends over bridging his upper half above yours. The muscles lining his stomach twitch and clench, sucking in at his navel as he draws his length out to the tip and the base of his cock expands. It’s more painful than he’d expected, his Alpha howling like a beast inside, gnawing through his facade of strength as tears pour down his cheeks. “Fuck. Fuck!”
He sniffles, cockhead still lodged inside your tight hole spurting out sticky cum that seems to satiate you judging by the long sigh you let out.
“Alpha..” you say drowsily, eyes half-lidded with the most serene smile looking back at him. “Sleepy.”
Nodding furiously, he kisses your hands before releasing your hold, quickly wiping his face with the back of his hand. “Pulling out okay? Need to clean you up.”
Jaemin hadn’t considered how difficult it would be to not bend at your will, having to tune out the way you whine for him to stay inside of you. His Alpha shouts and snarls, berating him for not listening to their Omega. 
He’s so fucked, already recognizing you as his mate without considering what you must feel right now, driven by your out of whack hormones and lust.
“Don’t leave me.” You pout, whining so pretty.
“I’m not going anywhere mama.” He reassures, leaning in to kiss your stomach. “But I need to get you cleaned off before you fall asleep, alright?”
He tries to make it quick, scrambling to fill up a bowl of warm water and grab a few washcloths. Can’t be fast enough when he jogs back to the living room to find your eyes fluttering open and shut. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take you to bed.”
“Nooo,” you continue to whine, huffing petulantly. “Too heavy..”
“I bench 280, don’t doubt me.” He chuckles, shaking his head. Sitting by your side, he slowly cleans the mess of slick and cum that’s dripped down to your thighs and ass, patting the area dry. “How are you feeling?”
“Eepy.” 
He’d squeeze you if he wasn’t so happy to hear that you’re relaxed enough to possibly get a full night of sleep. Proudly smiling to himself as he finishes cleaning you off and bends closer to your face. “Time for bed.”
“Don’t leave me..”
He scoffs playfully, getting up to position you on top of his arms, squatting down to ensure he picks you up properly. “I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Mmm..” true to his word he carries you to your room without much struggle, softly laying you down on your bed and stumbling when you grab onto his arm and pull. “Stay here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Stop asking.”
He sighs, moving to the empty side of your bed, shoulders instantaneously losing the tense concern and worry he’d been holding onto. You can talk about this in the morning, or the afternoon, or at night, or never.
Maybe he can just accept that you both wanted this and more than anything he wants this. He wants to help you with your pup, take care of you after you give birth, help cook and clean, make sure you’re well fed after hours of trying to put your pup to sleep.
It can really be this easy, living here in this moment. In the safe comforting space of your small apartment that’s started to feel more like home than his own. Playing house with you has brought him more relief than hours at the gym.. long nights out partying.
He watches you get comfortable on your side, beginning to breathe in and out more shallowly.
“Jaem..”
“Hmm?”
“You’re staring.” You murmur, trying to hide a smile.
“I am.” Scooting in closer, he lightly rests a hand on your stomach. “I’m scared to ask, but this is okay, right?”
A cute growl emits from your chest, laying a hand over his. “I’ll let it slide, you do a real good job around here.”
“It’s okay, you can finally admit that you like me.” Letting out a long sigh, he nestles in closer, cheek resting on your chest. “I like you too.”
“Do you?”
“Is it standard for Alphas to cancel their plans every week to hang out with their pregnant Omega neighbor?” He hums, following your hand to rub your stomach. “Ah, what am I saying? I was all happy to get you to fall asleep and now I’m talking your ear off.”
He’s met with the light sound of breath, lifting his gaze to find you well past counting sheep. Adjusting to cradle your head better, he kisses your forehead. “Night night angel baby.”
・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・ ⋆ ・ ⠄⠂⋆ ・
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primehyuck · 6 months
Text
dress
this is the hair, the face, etc
Tumblr media Tumblr media
aka Mark thinks you look really pretty tonight (very “only bought this dress so you could take it off” / “can we hear it for the dress” esque )
word count: 3.5k
contents : pretty much pure smut, pussy worship, soft dom mark, oral (f receiving) , body worship - mark thinks you’re REALLY REALLY pretty, mirror sex (kind of), lots of pet names, established relationship, mark seduced me as i was writing this
“Don’t you look pretty?” Mark smirks at you from where he leans against the door frame and you smile softly at him in the mirror, taking off the jewelry you’d worn to dinner with your friends that evening. You place the items gently inside the white vanity he’d had made for you when you moved in together the year before.
“Thanks, baby.” you take him in, fresh out of the shower in sweats and a big t-shirt. He looks too hot for his own good, his hair the longest it had been since you’d met, freshly bleached strands curling over his eyes.
“Did you have fun?” He slinks up behind you, warm fingers toying with the thin strap holding your dress in place, his left hand shutting the top of the vanity before pressing heavy to the front of your hip.
You nod “It was nice to have some girl time, as much as I love spending evenings with the boys.” you scrunch your nose earnestly, thinking of Mark’s best friends who had treated you like family since day one.
“I’m glad, though you should have seen the look on Jisung’s face when he learned you’d be at dinner with your old roommate and he was stuck cooking for the rest of us” he murmurs and you can feel the smile on his face as he rests his cheek on your shoulder. The combination of his warm breath on your neck and thick lashes blinking over your skin makes you shiver “I was sad that I missed you before you left.”
“We ended up going for a cocktail before dinner,” you reach up to thread your fingers through his hair and he lets go of the dress strap to trace up the inside of your arm. Mark turns his head to press his lips to your shoulder, pretty brown eyes blinking at you in the mirror once before skimming down the reflection of your body.
His gentle fingers drifting over your arm make your skin tingle and you can hardly breathe when he grips your bicep firmly, supporting your arm as he kisses over the shape of your shoulder, all the way to your elbow and back up again.
“Is this new?” He mumbles, the hand on your hip moving to tug at the hem of your dress. You nod, and he smiles before guiding your raised arm down to rest at your side, fingers lacing through yours. You watch in the mirror as he drags his nose into the crook of your neck, tilting your head to the side to make space for him there.
“Pretty,” his eyes catch yours in the mirror again.
“You already said that.” you tease weakly, failing to keep your breathing under control.
“My bad,” Mark chuckles quietly, left hand stretching to rub your thigh, no effort needed to hike the short dress up enough to expose your panties “I mean, you look gorgeous. Good enough to eat.”
You're surprised your knees don't buckle when he shifts his hand between your thighs to cup your clothed core.
“You think?” You mumble, turning to face him rather than his reflection. He blinks slowly at you, nodding once before his lips are on yours.
His kiss fills your lungs and you both moan. The fingers that were warming your core finds your shoulder to spin you toward him without loosening his grip on your hand. He presses you against the vanity, free hand finding a home on the back of your neck while he brings your joined fingers down, rubbing over where his cock strains against his pants. Your dress rides up to your hips when he pushes your ass firmly onto the surface of the custom table, lanky fingers digging into your skin.
“You’ll have to let me take you somewhere in this, love showing you off” he mumbles against your lips before trailing his own over your chin and down your throat “somewhere I can fuck you while you're wearing it.” You feel his cock jump at his own words, arching your chest into him when he licks gently over the swell of your breast on display beneath the low cut neck of the dress.
“Anytime,” you gasp, the hand not pressed between your bodies pulling gently at his hair in an effort to bring his mouth to yours again. He complies easily, pushing your intertwined knuckles into your clothed pussy and you feel him rut against your forearm at the damp spot growing there.
“Shit, the thought of me fucking your perfect pussy in public turns you on that much?” He stops kissing you for a second to tease meanly before taking both of his hands away from your body and you have to plant yours on the vanity to stop your head from banging into the mirror behind you.
“I want you to fuck me now” you pout, reaching pathetically for the fabric of his baggy clothes, but he’s just out of reach. You huff at him, quickly going for your own dress.
“Be patient baby, please. You’ve been able to see yourself all night.” he tuts, having to step between your legs to hold your wrists still “let me spend some time with the dress, too.”
You whimper when he drags your hips to the edge of the sleek wood to grind you against him, “Fuck, you drive me crazy.”
You take advantage of his hands being on your hips to wrap your fingers through his damp hair, dragging his mouth to yours. Mark’s hands are everywhere; pulling your dress up to your waist, leaving hot prints in the wake of his fingers, gliding over the skin of your thighs before hooking beneath your knees to keep your legs open. When you try to wrap your arms around his neck he easily pulls out of your desperate grasp, but you can see the wanton look in his heavily lidded eyes.
“Gonna make you feel as good as you look,” he rasps and you nod eagerly. His fingers drag over the straps of the dress before deciding against it, leaving your upper body covered “If that's even possible.”
He pulls you off of the vanity and guides you to the bed, keeping your body flush to his until he lays you back onto the mattress. The mirror hanging on the wall above the desk tilts down so you can see your reflection from the edge of mattress, the way Mark had specifically designed it.
“That’s better, want you to watch.” he smiles, glancing behind him to make sure the only part of yourself you can't see is what he's blocking with his own body as he drops to his knees between your legs. He rubs the heel of his palm into your clothed center, fingers digging into your pubic bone while he peppers kisses up your legs. His hand keeps your hips from bucking up when he licks heavily into the crease of your thigh before he moves his palm to press a wet, open mouthed kiss to your underwear. He sucks the fabric between his lips before his strong fingers pull your underwear up tight against your pussy to perfectly outline your already engorged clit and Mark’s cheek rests heavily where his mouth had just been on your thigh.
“Shit, baby.” he groans, stretching the fabric of your underwear in his fist, shifting it side to side and watching your lips move with it “I did this to you?” he asks gruffly, face sliding further up your leg until you can feel his breath on your soaked core.
You choke out a weak affirmation as he releases your panties, moaning when the stretched out fabric sticks to you. Your whole body shudders when he leans forward, nosing over your clit and inhaling deeply, dark lashes fluttering prettily against his cheeks.
“Mark, please-“ you gasp when he opens his mouth fully over you, dragging your panties away from your skin with his teeth and sucking at the ruined fabric.
Sometimes Mark feels a little pathetic between your legs, completely intoxicated, essentially trying to drink the taste of your pussy off of your underwear. The fact that he's so desperate for you, and yet he still has complete control never fails to inflate his ego, and as always it has his dick straining painfully against his sweats.
He moves the limp fabric to the side and uses two eager fingers to pull you apart, exposing your clit and Mark swears he sees it pulse, the idea making pre-cum leak from his dick like a broken faucet.
“Could stare at this pretty pussy all day,” he murmurs, not even looking up at you “but then I wouldn’t be able to taste it.”
You both let out sighs of relief when his tongue finally makes contact, laving over your wet folds. He moves urgently, wanting to touch you everywhere but settling with one hand palming gently over your inner thigh, the other keeping your hole open for his tongue to fuck into. When you open your eyes to look down you see his own closed gently, blissed out as he sucks your clit into his mouth.
Your eyes flicker toward the mirror, gaze following the firm circles Mark is tracing into the skin of your thigh, the callouses from hours of guitar make goosebumps rise on your skin. You wish he’d take his shirt off, the black material stretches over his strong shoulders as he moves his mouth over your pussy. You lace your fingers through his blonde waves, his moan vibrating through you when you tug at his scalp. He moves his mouth over you with intention, wetting his chin and nose as he buries into you, never spending too much time in one spot in an effort to spend as long between your legs as possible.
“Fuck, baby, I’m already so close.” you gasp, the few minutes of teasing wound you up like a clock, the gentle flick of his tongue over your clit enough to make your entire body shake. He looks up at you, blonde curls getting caught in his lashes. The deep brown of his hungry eyes is almost enough to make you cum until he suddenly pulls away.
“No, no, no,” you wiggle yourself toward his mouth and he has to close his eyes for a moment to restrain himself, wanting almost nothing more than to make you cum on his tongue over and over and over.
“Needy girl,” he leans away from you and you whine again until you realize it’s to tug his shirt off and toss it to the side. Both hands press back into your legs as soon possible, rubbing over your shins and thumbing into the pit of your knee before gliding up your inner thigh.
“You’re teasing me.” you pant, your own hand threatening to sneak down to rub over your spit soaked clit but he stops you, glaring.
“I don’t think so, baby.” he deadpans “you can make this easy or you can make this hard.”
“I make you hard.” You smirk, attitude overpowering your need to orgasm and Mark tilts his head in surprise.
“You know eating your pretty pussy does more than just make me hard.” He raises an eyebrow, reminding you gently of all the times he’s cum from grinding into the mattress while going down on you “makes me fucking crazy.”
Your breathy laugh turns to a moan when he puts his mouth back on you, nose buried in your skin. He drapes your thighs over his bare shoulders and it takes what feels like less than a minute of his tongue rolling over your clit to get you right back to where you were. You groan angrily when he pulls away again.
“Why?” you can barely get the word out, feeling your legs move up as your boyfriend shrugs beneath them.
“I told you to watch” his arms reach from around the outside of your legs so one hand can push your chin, directing your eyes to the mirror while the other drifts over the soft silk of the dress that might as well be suffocating you. You watch the muscles in his back flex, your toes pointing to dig into his shoulder blades.
He follows your gaze, guiding your leg down onto the mattress and shifting his tosro out of the way so you can see yourself, swollen and wet from the torment of his mouth.
“Tell me what you see.” He commands softly, the hand supporting your leg moves quickly to rub over your soaked center and you blush when you realize you can hear his fingers gliding over you. You both watch the reflection of his middle and ring finger slowly pushing into you. You’re so wrapped up trying to keep your eyes from fluttering shut that you barely notice the way his breathing quickens, mouth dropping open slightly, cock twitching as your pussy sucks his fingers in.
“I see you-“ you begin to choke out but he shakes his head, crooking his fingers up into your g-spot and cutting you off.
“No baby, tell me what you look like.” He turns his head to kiss the thigh still draped over his shoulder, fingers hooking up and dragging over your g-spot at a painfully slow pace.
“I look, fucked,” you moan when he nibbles at the soft skin his lips just passed over “desperate.”
“Hmm, what else?” He dips his head in to press his swollen, pink lips to your clit, smiling when you squeak weakly “tell me what I want to hear, angel.”
“I look,” you whine again, back arching off the mattress when he takes his fingers out of your fluttering walls in favor of rubbing them over your clit, so gently you’re not even sure you’d be able to feel it if you weren’t so worked up “pretty.”
You watch the back of his head nod in agreement, stroking his fingers over your clit in a lazy circle before dipping down into you once and traveling back up.
“That’s right,” He coos, free hand groping at your tits, thumb brushing over your perked nipple as best as he can through the layers covering your upper body “what makes you so fucking pretty?”
“My mouth,” you whimper, relief washing through your body when he keeps his fingers inside of you “my tits,” your hand reaches to cover his and he smiles up at you, expectant eyes waiting for one more answer “my pussy. You make me feel so pretty, Mark.”
His chin and nose are covered in your slick, moaning at the taste when he licks over his lips, forehead falling weakly onto your pubic bone, rubbing his nose against your throbbing clit as he nods in agreement.
“My gorgeous girl, every part of you is too fucking pretty for me” He moves back to face your body again, taking his fingers from your pussy and replacing your knee over his shoulder, reaching up to meet his other hand on your chest. He palms at your breasts through the dress, shoulders breathing heavily beneath your legs while he curses himself for not at least taking your bra off, dying to tug at your nipples beneath the silky fabric. Sometimes his attempts to edge you become self-torturous, but the way your whole body shivers when he rubs his nose into your clit harder makes it worth it.
You test his patience by pushing at his head, trying to get his mouth back where you want it and he concedes, but let’s go of your breasts to traps both wrists in a single hand. His pink tinged cheeks make your heart skip a beat as you watch him rub his face in your pussy, sucking your clit into his mouth eagerly before licking back down into your hole.
“Please, please, please,” you beg and he looks up at you with those pretty brown eyes when he hears your teeth chatter, pulling away with a moan that makes your back arch toward his mouth. He drops your wrists, unable to stop himself from palming over his pants, pre-cum forming a wet spot on the crotch almost as soon as he dropped to his knees for you.
“I got you, baby.” His voice is barely audible over the ringing in your ears. He uses the hand that isn’t on his dick to spread you as far apart as his fingers can manage “fuck, look at that pretty clit.” he’s sure of it now, your clit is literally pulsing, body begging for an orgasm that he can’t wait to taste. He glances up at your shivering figure, straps of your dress fallen off either shoulder, chest rising and falling dangerously quick.
A cool blow of air through his pursed lips surprises your system, entire body spasming as your orgasm hits. You think you hear your boyfriend’s “no fucking way” before his tongue starts fucking eagerly into your dripping pussy, pressure from his nose on your clit making sure the orgasm lasts so long you have to push him away.
“That was fucking incredible, I didn’t even touch you” Mark stands, stripping off his pants and forcing himself into you before you have the chance to take a breath.
“Oh my god,” you gasp at the same time he chokes out “so fucking tight”, making quick work in stripping you to rub his hand over your chest. His head falls back, mouth falling open when the aftershocks of your orgasm make you squeeze around him.
“Kiss, please.” you have pins and needles in your fingers when you lift them to his shoulders, pulling him toward you eagerly to catch his mouth. A sturdy hand cups your cheek, kissing you deeply as he begins to move his hips. His tongue is hot and heavy on yours as he fucks into you, catching every short inhale in his mouth. You want to cry when he pulls away, but are quickly overwhelmed by how fucking good he looks.
His strong chin juts out when he stares down to where his cock slides in and out of you with eyes so heavy you’d think they were closed if he didn’t mumble something about “your pretty pussy was made for me, so fucking wet”. His abs are drawn in tight, your arousal shining on the skin of his lower stomach and you reach out to touch him, dragging your fingers over the dark patch of hair growing below his belt line. He slows his assaulting pace to lean into your touch, grabbing your wrist and drawing your slick soaked fingers up his chest and into his mouth, sucking lewdly and shutting his eyes. His hair is a mess thanks to your desperate hands, sweat dripping down the side of his neck.
“So fucking dirty baby, know I'm addicted to the way you taste,” he grunts, dropping your hand in favor of spreading your legs as far as he can “the way you feel.” He slows his hips almost to a stop, dragging his cock out of you intently, listening to the sopping suction sound you make together when he slides back inside just as slow.
“Hear that, pretty baby, how much your pussy needs me?” eyes focused on where the angry, pink head of his cock prods at your entrance “can’t believe you’re real, and you’re all mine.”
“All yours,” you whisper, not trusting your voice “all yours.” his lips pull up smugly, but his eyes shine with adoration as he brings his thumb up to your mouth and watches you eagerly suck on the digit before dragging it down your quivering stomach to land on your clit.
“That’s right,” he can’t help the deep groan that tears from his chest at the look on your face when he starts to rub in smooth circles, your eyes fluttering shut “shit, you’re so fucking pretty. Look at yourself, want you to see what I see.”
He forces your eyes toward the mirror, hips picking up speed again while his thumb stays working over your swollen clit.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum baby. Always make me feel so fucking good.” you moan at his words, thighs clenching around his hips “need you to cum with me, show me that you can take it all.” he practically begs, and you feel white hot pleasure shoot up your spine, the pace of his hips and thumb on your clit working easily with his hot words in your ear.
You make a noise between a moan and a scream, nails leaving indents in his shoulders, grinding your hips up toward his sloppily. His bicep shakes under his weight, fucking into you viciously, eyes focused on the blissed out look on your face that he knows is because of him.
“That’s it, take that fucking cock baby, take it.” all you can hear beneath his words is static sound when you feel him tense before he thrusts into you for a final time.
You can’t even hold your eyes open when he drops to his forearms to grab your flushed cheeks, kissing you lazily, letting you melt into him while he softens inside of you. You hum happily when his soft lips drag over your nose and cheeks, compliments falling on ringing ears and for a second Mark is nervous that he broke you.
“You okay, baby?” he rubs gently at the mascara smeared under your glazed over eyes and you smile softly up at him with a nod
“So good,” you assure him, lifting your neck to kiss him again and he happily obliges, laughing against your lips as you cage him in with your legs when he tries to pull out, murmuring a genuine “don’t go.” that makes his heart flutter in his chest.
“Not going anywhere, don’t worry.” he promises.
———
masterlist
3K notes · View notes
tqmies · 7 months
Text
Nct Dream + "Just the tip"
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How Nct Dream would react to you saying you just the tip!
Minors DNI
If there's someone who is going to try his best to listen, it's MARK. Poor guy will subject himself to the torture if that's all you're willing to give today. He won't complain either <3 The soft slow grunts of him fucking his tip in and out of you tell you he's satisfied. Funny enough, you end up regretting your decision.
"Are you sure?!" He'd ask, afraid to go any farther, but who is he to say no to you? Next thing you know, he's halfway in already.
RENJUN pretends he's fine on the outside, and really he wants to respect that you're tired and not wanting take all of him. But you make it so hard! Your soft walls suck him in as soon as he enters, and he's trying his best to pretend he's sorry about it.
"Mm-mph. I'm sorry, you j-just felt so good around me. 'M gonna fuck you the right way baby."
I imagine you and JENO just had an argument, so you decide to tease him and intend to withhold full access. You really thought he'd listen though? By the end of this, you're going to the the one begging to fully take him (And he'll let you) before he uses you as his little cumdump.
"Stupid slut, thought you could tell me what to do? Maybe I need to fuck the attitude out of you and remind you who this pussy belongs to."
You're weak to HAECHAN and his whimpering. He knows it too, so he'll loudly wince at the contact of just his sensitive head in your folds. He barely gets a tiny thrust in before he's babbling about how badly he wants to be all the way inside you.
"Please," He whines. "N-need it so bad, promise to be a good boy for you. I'll make you feel so good baby, just let me go deeper."
JAEMIN doesn't understand, why would you only want the tip? Was something wrong? Did you want to talk about your day? Were you tired? Did you just want to sleep? When he finds out you're just messing with him? Oh.. you got another thing coming.
"Take it," His balls slap against you. "Take all of it. Had me worried that my girl didn't feel well and it was just some joke? You're going to pay for that."
He really couldn't care less, but this does get in the way of CHENLE's initial plan on having you ride him. So he's gonna be a tease right back, rubbing his tip on your clit as you beg for him to at least put it inside a little. Let's just say you took every inch of him that night.
"Knew you couldn't resist me, even if you tried. At the end of the day, you're just my cock hungry whore, aren't you?
Well, JISUNG actually succeeded, much to your displeasure. You usually like to feel him all the way in your stomach, how could he think you really only wanted the tip? So you have to pull him for a round two, and luckily he doesn't hold back this time.
"You actually scared me," He admits as he thrusts into you. "I thought maybe you just didn't want to have sex anymore, or you weren't attracted to me- shit you feel so good-"
Note: Please reassure Jisung, or else he'll be thinking about how much you hate him at the end of it.
2K notes · View notes
liliansun · 3 months
Text
two “rules” one problem
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pairing : ex-bff!hyuck x fem!reader
wc : 14.8k
synopsis : despite your history, you and haechan couldn’t stand each other. that is till you’re paired up for a project and he’s just desperate enough for your help with his love life with the acception of his stupid rules
genre : enemies2lovers (best trope), ex-childhood friends to lovers (also best trope), fake dating, angst, fluff, college au
warnings : swearing, kissing, alcohol, haechan gets jealous, lying, uhh idk what else but lmk if i missed something (not proof read so i’m sorry 🥲)
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If there was one thing twelve year old donghyuck wanted more in this world, other than his mom’s cooking, it was his two best friends coming together. You had been his friend since birth, both your mom’s bonding together before the two of you even came into the world. They met in a birth class, having similar due dates helped them both find comfort and friendship within each other compared to the other moms in the class that were farther along than them. They had already planned playdates after both you and donghyuck were born and even after all that time, they stayed true to those plans.
Your earliest memories have donghyuck in them in some shape, way or form. Whether he was attending you birthday party, or you to his, all the way to the two of you sharing the same home room when you both started school. The dynamic between you two was truly unmatched, something that could never be touched or fault. When you two got older, not much had changed. The excitement of high school had you both buzzing as each day passed through your final years of being just below the line of being a teenager.
Although you both were attached by the hip, you still found space in your young life to befriend other people, or at least donghyuck did. Thats how mark lee came into the picture, being a transfer student in the middle of the year made it hard for him to settle in and become comfortable. Donghyuck saw mark sitting along during lunch one sunny afternoon and although the two had a bit of a rocky start, their friendship blossomed into something that they both needed. Now that he had such a connection with his new found friend, all he wanted to do is share his love for mark with you. You thought you were a welcoming person, easy to get along with and fairly nice, but the day donghyuck brought you and mark together would just so happen be the day you lost your best friend.
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“I’m telling you, that doesn’t sound right to me.”
Mark rolls his eyes, laughing a little under his breath as he strums his slender fingers against the strings on his guitar. “Its not finished yet, gotta trust the process.” You simply reply with a hum as you watch mark fiddle and try to tune the strings to his liking. The two of you were cooped up in his dorm room, him sitting on the edge of his bed with the instrument rested in his lap while you opted to sit in the chair that usually was tucked under his desk. “What are you doing here anyway, don't you have other friends to bother instead?” Rolling your eyes, you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. “Actually, no i don't, i thought we went over this. Yeongmin is off studying so she can’t aid my boredom.”
Mark continued strumming along the strings till he got a rhythm he liked and started to hum along with the tune that was filling the room. “I swear you’re gonna be famous one of these days.” Looking down at your phone, you notice the groupchat you’re in with your friends is going off. “That would be nice actually.” Unlocking your phone, a smile spreads across your lips at the messages that were popping up. “Maybe if you didn’t have crippling stage fright, you’d be able to actually play the songs you sing to more people than just me.” A gentle laugh left mark’s throat as he set the guitar down on its stand beside his bed. “Actually, I sing to Haechan too, so don’t come for me.” His name left a sour taste in your mouth, your face scrunching up as you try to block out his stupid face in your mind. Mark could tell you two still weren’t on good terms, but he didn’t want to push it again and opted to pick up his phone that was vibrating on his bed.
You stole a glace at the screen, catching the name of the caller id. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear.” You mumble underneath your breath. Mark answers the facetime call, holding his phone in his hand, but opting to hold it further down at an angle. “Yo, whats up?” The background noise was windy, letting both you and mark know that he must've been outside. “Bro where have you been, i've been looking for you for hours!”
“If you didn’t find him, he obviously didn’t wanna be found, but if its you he’s hiding from who can blame him.” Mumbling beneath your breath, but mark still heard you. “Hey, you be nice over there.” haechan looked confused on the screen, strolling around on campus to his unknown destination. “Are you talking to yourself again?” mark turned his camera around, showing you sitting comfortably in his chair as you scroll mindlessly on social media. “No, im not talking to myself again, y/n is here.” by the mention of your name, haechan rolled his eyes. “Why is she always there when im coming over.”
“I didn't even know you're coming over.” added in his defense after switching his camera back around. “If that thing is on his way, i’m out.” you piped up, grabbing your bag from off the floor as you stood up from the chair. “Text me when you make it in at least?” mark felt helpless sometimes. He never truly understood what went down between you and haechan all those years ago, but splitting his free time between the two of could could be more challenging some days than others. If he wasn’t chilling with you in the comfort of the few places you knew haechan wouldn’t be caught dead near like your dorm or the library, he was chilling with haechan and the friend group they developed over the years being in college.
“Will do, have fun with the devils incarnate.” You say back as you’re opening the door to make your exit. Just as you’re leaving, you come face to face with something firm or shall you say someone. “Do you ever use those eyes of yours or are they just there for decoration?” you recognized that voice from anywhere, it being the same voice belonging to the one person you were hoping not to see on your way out. “Can you move lee, or are you just that self absorbed to think that I could just see you standing outside the door before it was even open?” Haechan scoffed as you walked past him, huffing as you nudge him with your shoulder to get him out of your way. From mark’s dorm to yours wasn't a far walk, which was good for you when you needed to get out of your room or just needed his help on an assignment. Unfortunately for you, it meant that haechan too didn’t have much of a far walk either seeing that his dorm hall was across from yours.
When you get into your room, your roommate wonchae looked up from her phone as she was laid out on her bed. “I thought you were at mark’s for a few hours?” Tossing your bag down beside the door you huff as you walk over to your bed and crawl underneath the blanket after removing your shoes. “I was till donghyuck decided to grace mark with his presence.” Wonchae giggled as she sits up, looking at you getting comfortable beneath your blanket as you pull your phone out. “Wanna call the girls over for a movie night instead?” you glance over at her, a smile spreading across your lips as you prop yourself up on your elbow. “As long as we’re not too loud again, we can’t afford another complaint this month.” Wonchae was already texting the groupchat before you could even finish your sentence. The night proceeded with you and your friends having a movie marathon despite your early class in the morning. You assumed it wouldn’t be too much to unwind a bit, binge watching three movies back to back. Somehow, you didn’t make it to your bed when you initially planned to due to the twins, wonchae and yechae convincing you to pull through the last movie.
Since the time on the clock read after midnight by the time the movies were finished, the three girls opted to sleep over with you and your roommate instead of taking the risk of going back to their own dorms. Yeongmin’s dorm was the furthest from yours, being about a twenty minute walk and you all collectively agreed she especially was sleeping over. Somehow you and yeongmin both managed to fit in your tiny bed for the night while the twins and sin-ra snuggled up on wonchae’s bed across the room. By the next morning, you woke up to the sound of yeongmin snoring in your ear beside you. She had her arms and legs tangled in yous, trying to pry her off you as you crane your neck to look over at the time clock on your desk. Your worst fears were confirmed when the time read nine after when your first class was supposed to finish. Quickly getting out of the warmth of your bed, you scramble to get ready and are out the door before you can properly apologize for waking everyone up.
If you were lucky, or rather fast enough, you can catch your professor before he starts his next class and get the notes on what you missed. You make a mental note to thank yourself when you set up your schedule for this semester for giving you breaks in between classes, especially on the midday schedules. As your toppling up the stairs leading into the building, you spot haechan leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He hadn’t noticed you thankfully, not wanting him to hold the fact that you almost busted your face open trying to get inside over your head. He looked so into thought, looking out over the campus as you take the opportunity to grip the railing to catch your breath.
“Look who decided to show up for class today.” rolling your eyes, you straighten your posture as he pulls himself off the wall he once was comfortably leaning against. “Don’t start with me today, i almost died trying to get over here to catch professor choi before his next class.”
“Don't bother, he cut class short for some family emergency or something, but i can fill you in if you fix your attitude.” He truly was the epitome of your frustration. “Just tell me what i missed so i can get away from you as quickly as possible.” there was a mischievous glint in his eyes when he tools steps towards you. “Looks like you’re not gonna get too far, we’re partnered up for a presentation.”
If the universe didn’t already hate you, you’d think this was your first sign. “I can always request a partner switch, you know?” Haechan only laughs in response, clutching the bag hung over his shoulder with one hand. “Good luck with that, he made it pretty clear that he wasn’t giving in because this will be counted towards our final.” a sigh left your lips as you accepted your fate, you and haechan would have to spend an unknown amount of hours in each others presence without any chance at getting around it. “Just meet me after our next class and we can go over it then.” WIth that, you turned on your heals and made your way to the nearest cafe to get something in your body since you didn’t have the opportunity to grab breakfast. Thankfully for you, your campus was notorious for its tiny cafes placed around all of campus which not only helped feed your caffeine addiction, it helped other students make some money as they swim in student dept.
As good as every cafe you’ve been to on campus can be, none of them compare to the baristas at cafe neo, something about the way those boys make your drinks just the way you like them has been without a doubt why you only trust them with your order. As you make your way across campus and the cafe is within sight, you over hear a conversation between the two girls in front of you. “Oh my god, look what bomi just posted!” the one to your right gasped, whipping out her phone as she brings it to the slightly shorter girls attention. “You’re kidding, isn’t she dating haechan?” you’re trying not to be nosy, not fond of listening into other peoples conversation, but at the mention of haechan’s name, you can’t help, but keen in. “Guess not anymore, look at the caption, those hearts are definitely more than just friendly.”
The two part off of the way you were going, leaving you with little information as to what their reactions were about. You had just saw haechan, judging by his usual cocky and self absorbing nature, he seemed all but heartbroken. You push your wondering thoughts aside as you enter in the cafe, smiling over at the tall boy who stood behind the counter. “Welcome to cafe neo– oh hi y/n!” his nametag read jisung, but you always referred to him as the cute underclassman who blushed when you tipped him. “Hi ji, anything new on the menu?” Jisung smiled at you as you walk up to the counter. “Nothing today, chenle is still brainstorming over ideas to ask the culinary department on what they can come up with in the back, you just want the usual?” You skim over the menu that was hanging on the wall behind him, as if you got anything different, but it never hurt to look. “Mmm, yeah, just one please.”
Getting the money from your pocket, you lay it on the counter as he typed in your order on the screen in front of him. It’s times like this that make you wonder how often you come here for this boy to know your order by heart. He takes the money you laid out for him and as he tries to hand you your change, you throw your hand up in refusal. “No, you keep it, you boys work too hard.” theres a slight pinkish tent to his cheeks as he slips the few bills and coins in the glass jar beside the front of the counter. “I’ll call you when its ready!”
Throughout the rest of the day, you take your perfectly made drink with you to your next class and go about your day, everything feeling as normal as it could. One thing that slightly bothered you were the hushed whispers of Haechan’s relationship and how quickly his ex girlfriend seemed to move on. People were coming up with theories amongst themselves as to what could’ve happened and if Haechan knew. Just like you, some said he seemed fine for the first part of the day till the alleged post was made from which you overheard. You didn’t pay it any mind and went about your day till you were back in your room for the night.
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“And if you carry this number, you should get one of these answers down here.”
“And how do i know if i got them right?”
“We won’t know till we actually try, now won’t we?” Jaemin, the guy who you shared a math class with last semester, asked you to tutor him this semester so that he might actually have a chance of passing the class and getting out of this hellhole. His words, not yours. “Or, brillant idea, you can use your pretty brain and show me which answer is correct.” Jaemin was indeed a smart guy, but it was moments like these that you questioned if he really had a multi functioning organ in that skull of his or was it just hot air. “Not a chance, solve it the way I showed you and we’ll go from there.” With a defeated huff, he finally puts the pencil that he has been fiddling with the last few minutes to work.
The two of you met in the library near his hall regularly, about twice during the week and an extra day is added when he has an upcoming test and if you have the time. The library usually was quiet around this time of day, most keeping to themselves as they cater to their own work, but for some reason you felt a pair of eyes staring at the back of your head. Just as you’re about to take a look around the room, the chair beside you is being pulled out and haechan finds himself in the seat next to you. “Where have you been?” you look over at him, slightly shocked to see him actually in the library. “Excuse me?” His face tells you that he’s annoyed, rolling his eyes dramatically as he leans into your personal space. “I said, where have you been, i've been all over campus for you and had to result to mark to find you.”
You motion to Jaemin who was focused in on the problem in front of him, or at least he was when you last looked his way. Now he has his signature grin on his lips, flashing his teeth as he witness the unwelcomed tension between you and haechan. “For your information, i’m tutoring pretty boy over here and your grumpiness is interrupting him.” Jaemin’s smile widens even more as the vein in Haechan’s forehead looks like it about to pop. “I, quite frankly, don’t give a fuck. maybe send someone a text next time so i don’t have to look so desprate to find you.” You scoff, sitting back in your seat as you realize his undertones. Who was he to say that looking for you made him look desperate, he literally is desperate in this moment.
“Sorry to break up this beautiful moment, but its about that time for me to go, so y/n, same time next week?” Nodding, you let out a sigh as Jaemin starts to pack his things into his bag and slings it over his shoulder. “There, happy now? You ran off Jaemin.” haechan ignores you, pulling his laptop out of his own bag and sets it onto the table. “We have roughly a month and a half to pump out a fucking book of an essay and make a slide point presentation, the faster we get this finished the less I have to see you in my free time.” He was truly unbelievable, first he comes and interrupts your personal time to help the needy, needy being Jaemin and his need to pass his class, and now he throws wanting to get away from you as quickly as he can? You are definitely adding this to the list of why you hate him.
The two of you go over the topic you were given, trying to break down the work between the two of you into categories: what you can do separate and what you’ll have to do together. Since you both were already here, you decided it would be best to get a head start on the research portion. Time must’ve caught up with you both, wrapping things up right before the library closed for the night. “I can’t look at this screen anymore, lets just end it here and meet up another day.” You grab your forgotten bag from the floor, carrying it on your arm as Haechan packs up his laptop. By the time he is done, you’re already making your way out the door and dredging the walk back to your dorm. Quick approaching steps trail behind you as haechan jogs to catch up to you. “Woah, not so fast, aren’t you forgetting something?” you don’t bother to stop, continuing your walk as he walks beside you. “And that is?”
“We don’t have any way of contacting each other, idiot, so give me your number.” You halt your movements and with a sigh, turn to face him. The bright sky from when you first entered the library earlier is now replaced with the deep colors of the night. The moon was full, shining its light down and being your only real light to see haechan’s features that seem more soft in this setting. ���Do you still remember my number?” Haechan looks taken aback, looking at you with a lingering confusion in his eyes. “You still have that number?”
“Mhm, so if you still know it then there’s your way of getting to me.” You’re about to turn and make your way to your dorm, your stomach urging you to find food soon. Haechan was chewing on his bottom lip, reaching out for your arm as he watched you try to walk away. “What is it donghyuck? I’m hungry and tired, what could you possibly want now?” The wind leaves his lungs as you say his name. Once he got to high school, many people started sticking him with the nickname Haechan, the reasoning behind it was his bright smile and personality, but you still saw him as donghyuck even after all this time.
“Just come with me, your dorm is too far to be walking at this time of night.” You didn’t get a chance to protest, he was already dragging you along with him to his car parked out front. “Fine, but I swear if you try to kill me with your driving I will come back to haunt your ugly ass.” You earn a snicker from him, his hand still holding your arm till you two reach his car and you slide into his passenger seat. Haechan fits perfectly into the drivers seat, putting the keys into the ignition and starting up his car once you are locked in. The two of you don’t say much, letting the radio fill in the silence of the drive. You’re too busy looking out the window to realize he passes up your hall, looking over at him with confusion once you see an unfamiliar street.
“Uhm, where are we going?”
“Dinner.” The words fall from his mouth so nonchalantly that you don’t question it any further, sinking into the seat as you let him drive to wherever he wanted. You’re not exactly sure why, but part of you always wanted a moment like this. Sitting in the car with Haechan, driving around town till it got dark was one thing you dreamt of back when you were both young, back when you still could see yourself in his future. Now that you’re doing it, it almost feels foreign. Sure, everything about his car screamed Haechan, the little things dangling from his rear view mirror gave that away, but the boy beside you was far from familiar. He was uncharted territory, someone you barely knew and to be beside him, being this close to him brought on a headache you weren’t expecting.
The two of you pull through the Taco Bell drive through, getting in line behind the cars. “What do you want?” You tell him your order after glancing over the menu. Even though you already knew what you wanted, you still wanted to give it some time to tell him in the order you wanted it. You were the type of person who wasn’t afraid of change, but didn’t go out of your way to invite it either. Always ordering the same thing from each place you go, you found comfort in the things that could always remain the same, like your Taco Bell order.
After your order is put through, you’re pulling your wallet out to give him cash for your part. “Here, this is for the food.” Haechan simply ignores you, handing over his card to the guy at the window. “Hello? Take the cash before I take it back.” After getting his card back, he slips it into his pocket and pulls forward. “Save your money, y/n, it’s not a big deal.” He seemed short with you tonight, not speaking up or putting much of a fight into it like he usually did in the passing times you two saw one another. It felt odd to see him brush you off, an unsettling feeling washing over you as you put the money back into your wallet.
After he had gotten the food and your two drinks, he whipped his car around and parked in a spot on the side of the building. “Are you fine eating here, I’m kinda hungry and don’t wanna have to wait till we get back.”
“No, yeah, it’s fine, but are you okay?”
You could see his body tense up at your question, pushing the straw into your drink before doing so to his own. “I guess, why do you care?” You’re sorting through the bag, grabbing what you assumed was his and handing it over to him. He goes to grab his food from your hand, your fingers brushing against each other’s for a moment. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, the warmth of his hand against yours, but it felt all too familiar and you almost jerk back as he quickly grabs the food. “Because I’m a decent human being and I knew you well enough back then to know that something is off.”
If you could read his thoughts, you’d see how badly your words hurt him just now. You were far from wrong, you truly did know him like the back of your hand and maybe even better than he knew himself, but too much time between you two had you both wondering if you knew anything about each other anymore. Amongst the burning anger you both have for one another, there was still some sort of longing within you that had you both slightly questioning the downfall of your friendship, but never enough to where either would act on it. “I don’t know, it’s kind of weird to think of opening up to someone I hate.”
“Then don’t think about it right now, if you need someone to talk to then do so. If it means forgetting you hate me just to get it off your chest, do so donghyuck.” A somber smile finds its way onto his lips as he tears open the wrapping that covered his food. “You’re a little too nice to me for someone who hates me just as much as I hate them.”
“Just because I hate you doesn’t mean I’m evil, I have a heart too you know?”
“Oh really, I never would’ve guessed judging by the lifeless look in your eyes.” You roll your eyes at his jab, mumbling something about dropping it before relishing in your food. The two of you don’t talk much after that, sitting in his car with the only form of sounds filling it were you two eating till he dropped you off. After getting in, wonchae gave you a weird look as you looked both defeated and exhausted. You told her you had a rough day and wanted sleep to be the reason you forgot about it.
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You hadn’t seen or heard from Haechan since the night he bombarded you in the middle of your study session with Jaemin then took you out to Taco Bell. Sure, you’d see him in your shared class, but not once did his eyes meet yours and he kept every snarky remark to himself if he had any. You didn’t pay it any mind, assuming whatever was going on with him would pass and he’d be back to his normal asshole-like self soon. In between your classes for the day, you decided to slip off to the neo cafe for some well needed caffeine to keep you going through the day. While you were here, you planned to slip off in a quiet corner and let the music they play in the small room milk your brain to help you continue working on the parts of your presentation with Haechan.
As you’re walking up to the counter, you notice Jisung was nowhere to be found and you opt to wait patiently by the counter. The ring of the bell signaling the doors movement doesn’t catch your attention, but the familiar voice behind you does when you turn your head to the boy who called your name. “Can I help you?” Haechan hadn’t turned to look at you, his eyes scanning over the menu. “What’s good here, do you know?” You give him a puzzled look, wondering where this small talk came from. “Uhm, if your taste buds are even remotely the same, I’d say you’d get the sweet honey taro drink, it comes iced or hot.” He simply nods, tearing his eyes from the menu and lets his gaze fall onto you. The two of you lock eyes for a moment, trying to find something that felt familiar behind them, but all you could see was the void behind his golden irises.
“Y/n, I’m so sorry to keep you waiting! Chenle was about to burn down the kitchen so I had to step away for a second.” Jisung’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, turning to him with a soft smile. “That’s okay ji, I’m more than happy to wait if that meant this sacred place would still be my caffeine plug.” Jisung smiles as he enters your order, his attention going from yours to Haechan whose gaze has yet to leave your figure. Your eyes follow Jisung’s, looking over at Haechan. “Oh, no we’re not—“
“I’ll just have what she’s having.” Haechan pulls out some cash from his back pocket, bringing it out for Jisung. Your mind couldn’t wrap itself around Haechan’s weird demeanor lately, he not only has been nice to you, but he’s paid for you twice. You knew he was sick in the head, but now you’re guessing it’s more than just his mental stability. When Jisung gives Haechan his change, you fumble with your pocket and pull out a few bills to throw into the tip jar, something you didn’t want to miss even if you weren’t the one paying. Jisung silently thanked you with his smile, to which you returned and told you both that he’d call you when your drinks were ready.
You were about to start questioning the weirdly quiet Haechan before he motioned for you both to move over to a table a little further in a corner. The two of you sat down, setting your bag against your chair as you prop your elbows up onto the table. “Okay, you’re acting weird and it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable.” Haechan’s lips part as he goes to speak, but Jisung’s presence interrupts him as the younger boy sets both the cups down. “Thanks, ji.” You said, grabbing one of the drinks and bringing it towards you. “Y/n, back in the car you said something that I’ve been thinking about lately.” He had your full attention, something that made him oddly feel sheer to you. You were leaned in, your body language letting him know that you were listening, despite the awkwardness of the moment.
“You said that even though you hate me, you still have a heart too.” Nodding in confirmation, you remember saying it, but it didn’t make sense as to why he was bringing it up. “I, uhm, don’t know if you heard or not, but my girlf—my ex broke up with me recently and I really want to get her back.” You bring the cup in your hands to your lips, taking in a slow sip in case his next words are your cause of death. “And the only way I can think to do that is to make her jealous and I know what you’re thinking and I can hear it now, but just hear me out?” There it was, his intentions and reasoning behind his odd behavior lately. As you process his words, you already know where this is going and your drink decides to be the one to take you out today instead. You start to choke as the liquid goes off its track and nearly comes back through your nose.
Haechan’s eyes widen, staring at you in surprise as you try to gain back the air that just left your lungs as you cough. “Are you okay?” You simply nod, patting your chest as your drink is put back onto the table and you’re taking in slow breaths to steady yourself in the seat. “Uh yeah, no wait, okay hold on, you want to do what now?” The boy across from you drops his head slightly, feeling embarrassed by even bringing up the situation. Yeah, he wanted his ex back, he truly loved her, or so that’s what he thought it was. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but you’re the only person I thought of.”
“And what makes you think it’ll be believable? I mean the whole campus knows we hate each other.”
“But they also know we have history, plus this project will be a good enough cover to make them believe we had some spark going off or whatever.” You stay silent, contemplating the whole ordeal. On one hand, this could go terribly wrong in many ways, people could not believe you two and this could blow up in your face for the rest of your time at this university or it could go great and once he’s back in the arms of his ex lover, he’ll finally leave your hair for good. “I’m not saying yes, so don’t get too excited, but if I were to think about it, what do I get out of it?” Haechan knew you were going to want something, a slight smirk forming in the corners of his lips. In his mind, he guesses some things never change and with that, neither have you. “I’ll leave you alone after this, no more bickering or picking at you and shit—oh and I’ll do half of your work for the project!”
Damn, he truly was desperate. You press your lips together, trying to debate if this truly would be worth it. The outcome, if good, would be best for both parties and maybe you’d finally have a peaceful rest of your time here. Something deep down inside tells you it’s a bad idea, but you choose to ignore it because if it meant he’d take over half of what you have to do on your shared presentation, more free time for you. “I have to go to class, but I’ll let you know by later tonight.” Your watch indicated if you didn’t leave now, you’d be late for your next class and since you have a lab today, you especially didn’t want to miss it. You go to stand, one hand holding your bag while the other grabs your cup. Haechan stands too, his bag still hanging on his shoulder as he goes to grab his cup. The two of you exit the Neo cafe quietly, unaware of the lingering eyes that follow you two out.
After your final class, you make a b-line to Mark’s dorm where he was expecting you. It had been a few days since you two had time to hang out and you both were taking the opportunity to have some study time together in the quiet of his dorm. Once he signs you in as a guest, you both go up to his dorm and make yourselves comfortable, you being at his desk and him sitting on his bed. “What do you have to get done?” Pulling out your notes from your lab along with your laptop, you set everything out on his desktop. “Just going over some notes and typing them into a small essay for class, you?”
“Man, I got a quiz to study for and since professor moon likes to give them at the worst times possible, I gotta get as much as I can in.” The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you both busy yourselves in what you were doing, Mark had his speaker on and chose a calming playlist he created for when you two would study like this. The music really did help you stay focused, having something to fill the room to keep your brain from getting off track. You’re about halfway done typing away on your laptop when your phone buzzes beside it. Glancing over, you notice a few missed notifications from your shared group chat with your friends, a few social media notifications and a text from an unknown number. You’re about to pick up your phone to see who texted you when an incoming call pops up on the screen, the same number that texted you.
You slide your thumb across your phone, bringing it to your ear. “Hello?”
“You didn’t answer my text.” Of course it would be Haechan, who else were you expecting. In all honesty, you did expect him to text you at some point, but the call was a surprise for you. “I’m studying, like you should be doing too.”
“I need to know your answer, don’t get too excited.” You can practically feel him smirking through the phone followed by some shuffling. “Where are you anyway? I stopped by your hall and you weren’t there.”
Your posture straightens, wondering who he asked and what he told them when we made his way to your dorm. “You did what? Are you insane?” Haechan laughs, a soft laugh as you lean back in the seat. “Slightly, I’ve been told that’s a part of my charm though.” Rolling your eyes, you huff before looking over your shoulder at mark. “I’m with a friend, why?”
“Tell me where you’re at unless you want me to go to every hall on campus.”
“You’re fucking psycho, I’m with mark, idiot.” At the mention of his name, mark looks up at you as you swivel the chair around. You mouth Haechan’s name to him to which he looked genuinely confused. “Figures, I’m on my way.” He ended the call before you could even protest, swearing under your breath as you stood up to get your things together. “Why are you—actually no, since when did you and Haechan call each other?”
“I’ll explain later, I gotta go though bub, but I appreciate you studying with me.” You gave mark an apologetic smile as you packed your bag up with your laptop, making sure to grab everything you had. “Text me when you get in.” Mark had stood up from his bed, making his way over to you to gently pull you into a hug. The two of you never hugged much, the sudden affection leaving you taken aback slightly, but nevertheless you wrap your arms around him as he did you. “I’m right across the street, I’m not going rouge.” He hums, pulling back from the hug as he gives you an uneasy smile. “Yeah, I know, but you’re going with Haechan and that’s what makes me worried.”
It too made you worried, even if you didn’t exactly agree to his lil situation he proposed earlier, that nagging feeling that it wasn’t going to end well never left you every time you gave it more thought. “I’ll be fine, plus my location is on if I don’t text you by nine.” Mark only laughs as your arms drop from around him and you leave his room. It doesn’t take you long to get out the building, spitting Haechan’s car parked in front with his passenger window rolled down. He’s leaned over, a smirk across his lips while one hand grips the top of the steering wheel. “Hop in.” He says as you make your way down to his car. Once you get in, you throw your bag in his back seat and fasten your seatbelt before Haechan takes off and drives you two off campus.
“And where exactly are we going?”
Haechan doesn’t look over at you, his eyes focused on the road, but he can feel your stare on him. He was wearing a letterman jacket with a black shirt underneath and some jeans that complemented the look, it was the first time you really took in his attire and you swore he didn’t have that jacket on earlier. “Somewhere quiet we can talk, to sort everything out for the show we’re about to put on.” He’s cocky, confident and arrogant. You hated it, hated how smug he looked as the words fell from his mouth. “I haven’t even said yes yet, did that get through your thick skull?” He takes a moment to glance over at you, his mischievous expression never faulting. “You wouldn’t be in my car with me if you didn’t want to.” Fuck him for being right and fuck him for being slightly attractive when he said it. Slightly, not very or even a full hundred percent, but slightly.
He drives you two off to an abandoned looking parking lot where he puts his car into park and turns slightly to face you. “Have you thought about it enough?” You turn to face him, getting as comfortable as you can in the seat. “I guess, but you better pull through with doing half of my part of the project or else I’ll castrate you, no hesitation.” Haechan laughs, a full laugh that has his head tilting back just a bit. You’re fighting the smile that threatens to form on your lips. “You have my word, but we have more important things to go over.” He searches your face when you remain quiet, having the same look you did back at the cafe earlier, he knew you were listening. “Okay, so I was thinking our first appearance as a newly and very much in love ‘couple’ should be at the party this weekend.”
“Scratch that, I don’t party.”
“You’re gonna have to if you wanna keep up with me.” You scowl at him, rolling your eyes mentally as you give in. “Fine, but I’m not making it a habit, I have grades to keep up ya know?” He simply nods, going over the next few things y’all as a couple would have to do together in order to pull this off. Your first outing would be at the party, to much of your disapproval and the following will fall into place like dominos. You’d start having lunch together if your schedules met up, the two of you would spend time between classes together, again if your schedules met up, then you’d also have to sit beside him in your shared class. He also made mention that he’d be picking you up and dropping you off at your dorm so that you’d always be seen with him to make it believable. “Now we need to set some ground rules.”
“Ground rules? What are we, five years old?”
A memory flashes through Haechan’s mind, back to when you two were five. You had been on the playground at school by yourself and he was off on the monkey bars when you had fallen off the swing. The ground did not aid your fall, scraping your elbow and knee which resulted in a cry that not only alerted your teacher, but haechan. When get got to you, you were sniffling over the pain and the dirt on your dress, a dress that your mom bought for you for your previous birthday. “Y/n, i told you to wait for me.” Five year old Haechan pouted as he walked with you and the teacher to the nurses office. “I wanted to swing, I didn’t think I’d get hurt.” You replied, holding his hand gently. After that day, the two of you made a rule that you’d play together to make sure if something went wrong, you’d be by each other's side.
“The first rule, no one can know, not your roommate or your friends, if you have any, not even Mark.” You scoff, hitting his arm to which he whined. “For your information, I have friends and it’s not only Mark.” Haechan rubs the sore spot on his arm as he shakes his head at you. “Yeah yeah, the voices in your head don’t count.”
“Fuck you, Lee.”
“Second rule, no falling in love, not with anyone while this is going on, which goes without saying, but no hooking up either and no falling in love with me.”
“How can anyone fall in love with someone like you?” You didn’t realize the weight of your words till you watched the smile from his face fade away. Guilt washed over you in a wave, your face dropping as you see him fiddling with the buttons on his jacket. You’re about to apologize when you see his mood shift, he turns back facing the wheel and starts his car. “Yeah, anyway, two rules and that’s that.” You don’t say anything back, turning back in your seat to fasten your seatbelt. Haechan drives you back onto campus and drops you off in front of your hall. “What time is your class in the morning?” He asks as he puts his car into park. “I think it’s an eight am class, but I’ll text you when I get in.” He nods as you free yourself and get out of his car.
Heading upstairs, the phone in your hand is going off with missed messages from your group chat with your friends. You’re smiling down at them as you push your door open, only to look up and see your four friends sitting with their arms crossed. “Oh hello, did I miss something?”
“We missed you!” Yeongmin stated, sitting with her legs crossed on your bed. “Where have you been, ma’am?” Yechae asked as she gave you a knowing smile. “I was just out, jeez, I’m sorry mom.” Sin-ra giggles as she pushes out her phone for you to see. “Uh huh, and whose car was this?” All the girls ooo at you as you sit down on your bed, filling in the spot next to Yeongmin. “You watched me!” Wonchae shook her finger at you, “What else were we supposed to do when you went missing? One minute, you’re at Mark’s dorm and the next, you’re off the grid!” The four girls immediately started questioning you as you brushed off their curiosity with half-assed answers. You wanted so badly to tell them all that’s going on and the situation you had gotten yourself into, but that was one of the two rules Haechan made. No one can know.
A loud knock on the door interrupts the conversation, all of you looking at one another. “Oh, that must be our RA, I think the pizza is here.” Yeongmin gets up from your bed and goes to open the door, unexpecting the boy who was on the other side. “Hi, uhm, is y/n here?” Haechan’s voice immediately caught your attention as you scramble off your bed while the other three girls give you wide eyed looks. “I’ll get it!” Yeongmin’s grip on the door is stronger than your force of trying to push her out the way. She moves, but not enough to where you'd be blocking their view. She only steps back, opening the door even more for them all to see him standing there with your bag in hand. “Hi, sorry, I didn’t even realize I left it.”
Haechan can tell by the look on your friends' faces that they were shocked to see him there. He had an audience and he was about to put on a show. “No problem baby, you left it in my backseat.” The sudden nickname makes your stomach flip, but you weren’t about to show him that. Instead, you reach for the bag to which he moves with his hand. “Ah ah, I want a kiss goodbye first.” You immediately glare at him to which he gives you a smirk. “Not in front of my friends, silly.” The emphasis you put on the last word has Haechan smiling even wider. “Just one for the road?” With a deep breath in, you had only two options. Kiss him and get him to leave or knee him in his most valued area, but that would be too red of a flag for your friends. You take a step closer to him, standing up on your toes as you press a quick peck on his cheek. As you do so, you grab for your bag that he still was holding, your fingers brushing against his.
“Thank you, I’ll see you in the morning?” Haechan looks dumbfounded for a minute, blinking down at you with slightly parted lips. He wasn’t expecting you to actually kiss him, so for you to do so, he was a bit taken aback. “I’ll be here, goodnight babygirl.”
The show Haechan put on caused an uproar within your friend group that lasted just long enough before the three had to go back to their rooms. They were questioning everything from what the hell that was and since when were you babygirl for anyone else, but them. When you finally admitted that he was your (fake) boyfriend, they all congratulated you on your new relationship and only wished they knew about him before.
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The next morning went according to your plans you and haechan texted about the night before. He picked you up, parked right in front of your dorm before your class and even stopped by and got you a drink from the Neo cafe. After he dropped you off at your first class, you didn’t see him much till your shared class where he saved you a seat. The two of you went your separate ways after he walked you to your next class and eventually he dropped you off back at your dorm. “The party starts in a few hours so I’ll text you when I’m coming by.” He said, watching as you get out of his car. “Got it, also don’t come in again, you nearly killed my friends with your little stunt you pulled.” This earned a laugh from Haechan as you shut the door and he waited till you were inside before he pulled off.
By the time you got inside your room, all your friends were already sitting on your and wonchae’s beds as they watched a movie on your shared tv. “Oh good, just in time, the movie just started!” Yechae smiled at you as she paused the movie. “Actually, I have plans, I’m so sorry.” A pout forms on your bottom lip in hope they forgive you. “Actually, do you guys wanna come with me? Haechan is taking me to a party and I don’t wanna leave you guys here.” Sin-ra was already jumping off the bed as she went straight to your closet. “A party, fucking bet!” The other three girls join in as they raid Wonchae’s closet and you text Haechan letting him know they’re coming. To your surprise, he responds with ‘the more the merrier ;)’ and you brush off the wink as you try to hide the blush that crept onto your cheeks.
Since there were so many of you and you know already you won’t all fit in Haechan’s car, the girls opt to take Yechae’s car as well and after you all get dressed, you get a text that Haechan was waiting for you out front. “Alright, he’s here, y’all ready?”
“Go ahead and send us the address, we’ll catch up.” Yeongmin gives you a playful push out your door, turning to ask her why before she shuts the door. With that, you go ahead down to his car and open his passenger door. “Hey, the girls are gonna meet us there so can you send me the address really quick?” You haven’t looked at him yet, trying to get your phone out of your pocket. Haechan, on the other hand, couldn’t tear his eyes off of you. You chose to wear an off the shoulder shirt to attempt to blend in paired with some of your nicer jeans and the exposed skin has his heart racing. “Hyuck?” Turning your attention to him, you take in his attire. Leather jacket with a white undershirt and black jeans paired with a black belt. Damn, he actually looked good.
“You look beautiful, y/n.” He sounded like he didn’t mean to say that out loud, his voice barely over a whisper, but that didn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks. “Thank you, not too bad yourself.” Haechan’s face was similar to yours, his cheeks a soft shade of pink. Not just from your compliment, but from how effortlessly the forgotten nickname rolled off your tongue. A few minutes felt like forever passed, the two of you staring at each other with something similar in each other's eyes. For Haechan, it looked like a longing feeling swirling around in his eyes while for you, he could see the same little girl you were back when you were kids and he wonders how much time has passed since he’s seen you like this. You’re the first to break contact, looking away awkwardly as you open your phone to Yechae’s messages. “The address?”
“Huh, I’m sorry, what did you ask for?”
“I asked you earlier for the address to the party.”
Haechan’s lips formed an o as he took the phone you handed over for him. He took the phone, this time your fingers just miss each other and you can’t deny you miss the warmth that radiates from him. After he types in the address, he hands over your phone and the two of you drive silently to the party with the music volume on low. It doesn’t take you long to arrive, people coming in and out as he opts to park up front. “Isn’t it illegal to park here, I thought this was for members only?” You’re unbuckling your seatbelt as you look through the window at the Greek letters above. “Not for me it isn’t.”
His words alone leave you slightly confused, but you get out of the car and as he walks on the other side, he has his hand out for you. “What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Grab it, we’re a couple, remember?” Oh yeah, you’re here as his girlfriend. Right. Hesitantly, you take your hand within his and interlock your fingers. You haven’t held his hand since you were kids, but damn did it feel right. His hand, obviously larger now, fits with yours perfectly and you shove down the butterflies that climb up your throat as the two of you go inside. The room was crowded, people everywhere leaving little room to actually get through. Haechan’s grip on your hand tightens as he guides you through the room and you can feel the stares of everyone on you as you two make your entrance. The two of you find your way through the main area and over to a slightly less crowded place where some familiar guys stand around a table playing beer pong.
“I want you to meet some guys.” He says loudly to make sure you can hear him over the music. You simply nod and stand a little closer to him as people walk past you. Haechan calls over a few guys you’ve only seen in passing, one very tall and the other slightly shorter with multi-colored hair. “Johnny, Taeyong, this is my girlfriend y/n, y/n, this is Johnny and Taeyong.” Johnny, the taller one gives you a sweet smile as he grabs your free hand and brings it to his lips. “Pleasure to meet you.” Taeyong laughs as he pats the others back. “Watch it, Haechan is giving you the death glare.” Haechan drops your hand as you shyly smile, wrapping his arm around your waist and resting his hand firmly on your hip. “It’s nice to finally meet you y/n.”
“You’ve heard of me before?”
Taeyong and Johnny exchange looks as they smirk. Haechan on the other hand turns his head as he begins to blush. “Lover boy over here talked about you nonstop when we first met him, i was starting to believe you weren’t real until he told us he finally asked you out.” Taeyong’s words came to you as a shock, not believing Haechan had talked about you to anyone before. “Believe me, he’s definitely down bad for you. You got a good one, Haechan.”
“I know.” He replies with a wide smile as you turn to face him, you’re definitely going to question him on this later. “We’re gonna go get a drink, I’ll catch up with y’all later.” His hand leaves your hip, immediately intertwining his fingers with yours as he gives both boys a hug. You wave them goodbye before Haechan leads you two into the kitchen. “Want anything?” He asks, looking over the table with a variety of alcoholic drinks. “I’ll take some water, I’m not sure if I wanna drink tonight.” He simply nods, respecting your choice as he himself grabs a beer. Just as you’re about to leave, you and haechan turn to see a girl walking in with her arm wrapped around the guy she was with.
“Haechanie, I didn’t know you were coming!”
Judging by how tense Haechan felt beside you, you can only assume that this was his ex, Bomi. “Uh, yeah, I didn’t think you’d be here either.” His tone was flat, but his face was mixed with pain and uninterest. “Yeah, I came with Kai, Kai this is Haechan.” Her smile was fake, even you could see that and the guy she was holding onto gave one similar as he replied with a hey. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you there, and who are you?” Her eyes looked soft, but if you looked any closer you could see the burning flame behind that glossy coat. Her lips were turned upward into a smile, but you knew she was lying between her teeth to make you seem less important, to make you feel less important.
“I’m y/n, Haechan’s girlfriend.” You said, squeezing his hand in yours. Haechan came back to his senses, looking over at you with a fond smile. You could feel his gaze on you, but you wanted to mess with his ex a little more. “Who are you? I don’t think I caught your name.” Bomi laughed, a little too loud as she threw her head back a bit. “I’m Bomi, Haechanie’s ex.”
“Oh really, never heard of you.” Your lips purse up a little as you look over at Haechan, his eyes softening when yours lock with his. You honestly could get lost in them if you didn’t realize the amount of people who were staring at you right now. Your attention turns back to Bomi and her new arm candy, her cheerful expression now long gone. “Sorry, we were just stopping for a drink, but it was nice to meet you.” And with that, you guide Haechan from the kitchen and maneuver your way around with him in hand till you reach the stairs. Haechan had silently been following you, thoughts swimming around in his head. “You know a room we can go to that’s clean?”
“Moving pretty fast now aren’t we y/n.”
“Oh shut up, just get us somewhere quiet.”
Haechan smirks as he leads the two of you upstairs, going down a hallway till he stopped at a room and pulled his eyes from his pocket. With his free hand, he unlocks the door and walks inside with your hand still in his. “I lock it when I’m out so that no one can do anything unholy to my bed.” His words register in your brain, but you’re too distracted as you look around in the room. There were vinyls plastered onto the walls, wireless headphones sitting carefully on the side table next to his bed. Haechan drops his hand from yours, furrowing his brows at the lack of warmth that reaches his fingertips while opting to sit on the bean bag across from his bed. You sit down on his bed, noticing he too was already sitting.
Patting your thighs, you take a deep breath in to collect your thoughts from all that’s happened since you two got in while Haechan looks deep in his own head. “So, she’s something.” He laughs softly, fiddling with his fingers as he stares into his lap. “Yeah, she is.”
“And you talk about me?”
Leaning back into the bean bag, he looks at you through hooded eyes. “I did when I first got accepted in, they went around asking personal questions as a bonding experience and you were all I really knew so you naturally came to mind.” You’re fighting the frown as you think about how long you two have hated each other, almost forgetting why you two grew apart for so long. “You okay, after seeing her and all?” With his lips pressed together, he simply nods as he closes his eyes. “I’ll have to be, I mean she looked pretty pissed to see you with me, so that’s a step right?”
“Yeah, I guess.” It felt very awkward to be having such a deep conversation with him, but somehow it also felt right. Your silence is interrupted when your phone starts buzzing, pulling it from your pocket and bringing it to your ear to answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey, we’re here, where are you guys?” Yeongmin called you, you assumed from downstairs as you can hear the faint music through one ear and the louder music through the phone in the other. You mouth to haechan that they were downstairs and ended the call telling her you were on your way. The two of you interlock your hands before going back downstairs, looking for the girls within the crowd. From the staircase, you can barely see them on the dance floor and you signal to haechan to follow you. As you make your way through the sea of bodies against bodies, you see your friends laughing and holding hands as they dance together.
“This is so much fun!” Wonchae smiled at you as she and Yechae held each other close. “If you have any more parties, invite us again!” Yeongmin and Sin-ra smiled at you and haechan, giggling to each other as their favorite song was blasting from the speakers. Haechan drops his hand, turning you around with his hands on your hips. He leans in as he pulls you against him, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Wanna dance?” There’s a faint blush on your cheeks as you simply nod, hesitantly wrapping your arms around his neck. The two of you fall into a rhythm and sway with each other for what feels like hours. After dancing for so long, you’re starting to feel the effects of the night and tell Haechan you’re ready to go home.
You lost the girls way earlier before you decided to leave, sending them a text to tell you when they make it in. Haechan leads you outside, the wind blowing slightly as you two step out of the party. You shiver slightly, rubbing your arms as you walk over to his car. Haechan notices the goosebumps on your skin, immediately taking his jacket off and throwing it over your shoulders. “You’re gonna catch a cold, take it back.” As you’re protesting, he simply shakes his head. “I’m alright for now, just keep it on so you won’t catch a cold.” The warmth of the leather silences you, walking around the front of his car and resting against the top as he stands in front of you.
“Did you at least have fun?”
“For my first college party, yeah I had fun.”
Haechan gasps as you look at him confused. “This was your first party?” You simply nod, chewing on your bottom lip before laughing softly. “As you can tell from my friends, we don’t get out much and the only other person i talk to is Mark.” Haechan steps closer to you, losing in the distance as he tilts your head towards him with his finger. “Let me at least make it memorable.” Your face is bright red as he leans in, pressing his lips against yours. You stay still, afraid that if you move, he’ll move and you hate to admit to yourself that you don’t want to move. His lips were soft against yours as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Your hands reach out for him, gripping the fabric of his shirt while his hand moves from your chin to cup the side of your cheek.
Haechan was the first to break contact, pulling back as he looked down at you. “How was that for a first college party?” You shake your head, letting go of his shirt to give him a slight shove. “Take me home, idiot.” He laughs as you stand from the hood of his car and the two of you get in, driving around to your hall before you go your separate ways.
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The next few weeks go by smoothly, you and haechan seem to be fooling everyone with your physical touch and playful banter when you’re out together. He sits with you when you two go to the cafeteria, eating meals together during your breaks between classes. He’ll meet you at the neo cafe and order your drink for you before you arrive and if you’re tutoring Jaemin, he’ll bring you your drink and sit with you till you’re done. He’s made it a habit to bring you to Taco Bell after your tutoring sessions are over and you two even spend time in the library working on your project, but haechan doesn’t get much work done before he’s bugging you for attention. After all these years, you almost forgot how touchy he is, always grabbing your hand or resting his head on your shoulder and vice versa. The two of you have everyone fooled, even Mark.
“I still can’t wrap my head around you and haechan, I mean one day you were seconds away from ripping his throat out and now you’re giggling at his texts.”
You sheepishly smile as the two of you walk back to his dorm, holding your bag in your hand as you think how much has changed between you and Haechan. Even when you’re alone, he acts no different. He still grabs your hand, plays with your hair, complements you every morning and smiles at you as if every day was the first day you saw each other. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel any different towards him, but you always push those feelings down and remember how you got here. He wants her back, he doesn’t want you, and every time you think of them two wrapped up in each other's arms like how he does with you, it hurts a little more than it should.
“I guess people change, I mean we were friends for a while when we were kids, that played into it too.” You were being truthful, reminiscing on the crush you had on Haechan growing up. Never in a million years would you have told him that, but in a way you also never were given the chance to. Now, here you are with those same harbored feelings and still don’t have a clue with what to do with them. After this is all over, he’ll leave your life once again and you’ll be left to fill the void that no one has ever come close to when it comes to him. “Yeah, I’m just saying, it’s a little weird to me, but I’m happy that you’re happy.” You give Mark a playful shove as you two walk inside his hall and go up to his room. You and Mark haven’t had much time together since you and Haechan started ‘dating’ and today was one of the days you two planned on studying in silence till you both grew bored and ended up listening to music.
“What’s on the agenda today? I got a psych essay to get out of the way.”
“I have some more lab work to go over, but I’m essay free.”
Mark opens his door for you and follows behind as you set your bag down beside his desk. The two of you go about doing your work as your phone starts to buzz on the desktop. Picking it up, you see you have missed texts from Haechan and a few missed calls. Just as you’re about to call him back, his name pops across your screen. Swiping across your phone, you bring it to your ear. “Hey, I’m so sorry my phone was on silent and I just now—“
“Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you by your last class for hours.”
Judging by his tone, he seems annoyed. You felt guilty, forgetting to text him before you met up with Mark to let him know of your plans. “I’m so sorry, Mark and I met up and were studying in his room.” Haechan scoffs, rolling his eyes if you could see him. “I’m on my way, meet me in the car.” With that, he hung up as you let out a sigh. “Who was that?” You’re packing up your bags as you look over at the window. It’s raining outside and it doesn’t look like it’ll be letting up anytime soon. “Haechan, he called and wanted me to meet him outside, i kinda forgot to tell him I was coming with you and he’s kinda upset.” Mark gave you an apologetic smile to which you returned. “Be careful out there and don’t worry, I doubt he’s that mad, okay?”
You simply nod and bid him a goodbye before leaving his room and heading downstairs. When you go out the front doors, Haechan is already parked out front and you hold your bag to your chest to protect it from getting soaked as you run down to his car and quickly get inside. Haechan was gripping the wheel as he stared down at his lap, not looking your way once as you shut the door as you got in and placed your bag between your legs rather than in the back seat. “You okay hyuck?”
Haechan was quiet, you knew he was upset, but you’re starting to think there were underlying reasons as to why. “Why didn’t you tell me you were with Mark.” You bite your lip, furrowing your brows as you reach over to touch him. “I said i was sorry, it completely slipped my mind and I didn’t mean to not tell you, he just asked me if we could hang out since we haven’t recently.”
“How hard is it to send a simple text, y/n?” He definitely was pissed, his knuckles turning an off shade of white with how tight he was gripping the wheel. “Why are you so mad, you know Mark, it wasn’t like I was out with someone random?”
“I’m pissed because I had someone come up to me asking why my girlfriend was walking off giggling with some guy, you ever think of that?”
He’s unbelievable, he’s literally unbelievable. The nagging feeling that this whole situation wasn’t going to end well resurfaces without hesitation, leaving you with a sense of deja vu. “Fake girlfriend, did you forget that?” Haechan laughs, not a genuine laugh, but a laugh that almost felt forced. “You’re right, how could I forget, I mean you’ve done it before so I’m not surprised you’re doing it again.”
“Doing what exactly, donghyuck.”
“Stealing Mark away, taking all of his precious time and acting as if I don’t exist.” His words hit you hard, bringing you back to the day you two first parted ways. When Haechan first introduced you and Mark, there was no doubt in his mind that you two would get along and he was looking forward to spending his days with both of his closest friends, but even at such a young age, jealousy got the best of him. Upon meeting, you and Mark clicked as if you were meant to be friends, talking and laughing together while Haechan stood silently and felt lonely. He didn’t like how quickly you got along with Mark, he didn’t like how much he hated bringing you two together, he especially didn’t like how much resentment he felt towards you even if he didn’t know what he was feeling.
He told you he hated you that day, out of anger and hurt. Not once did he mean it, in fact there were so many times he had wished he never said it and turned the clocks back to keep him from hurting you so badly. The damage had already been done, tears falling down your young cheeks when he told you he had never wanted to be your friend again. You were confused, hurt and overall overwhelmed with the events that happened that day, but you turned your sadness into the same hatred he said he had for you and from then, the two of you never had a nice thing to say about one another. Now here you were, sitting in his car with the hopes of you two finally making progress gone.
“I don’t steal his time, he gives it to me, but you wouldn’t know that because you force people to be around you.” You didn’t mean it, you didn’t even want to say it, but haechan was prideful and used his words to hurt others when he was hurting and you weren’t going to let him win again. “Did you forget that I’m your first actual boyfriend and I’m not even dating you, it’s kind of pathetic you had to get a fake boyfriend to even know what it’s like to have one.” You didn’t realize when you started crying or why you were crying in the first place. Maybe it was because you were angry, angry that he was angry at you over something so little and so stupid. Maybe it was because he hurt you and continues to hurt you over and over and the lines between what was real and what was fake have been blurred.
“Fuck you haechan, I mean honestly, I thought maybe you’d change, maybe the boy i knew then was still there.” He still wasn’t looking at you, he couldn’t bring himself to meet your eyes and see the damage he’s done. “Maybe you didn’t know me at all.” He knew it before you said it, that everything the two of you had been building up to for nearly a month was all over. He didn’t want to believe till you said it, but deep down he knew. “Fuck this, fuck your stupid little plan to get your shitty ex back and fuck you.”
With that, you grabbed your bag and got out of his car, leaving Haechan with his thoughts and the tears that slid down his cheeks as he watched you walk away. Part of you wanted to go back inside to Mark’s room, but that would mean you’d have to explain everything and that was all too much for you to unpack right now. Instead, you walked back to your hall, soaking from head to toe by the time you made it to your room. Wonchae was sitting in her bed when you came in, immediately questioning you why you were soaking wet, but when she realized you were crying, she took you into her arms and held you till you settled down.
That night all the girls came over and stayed with you till you cried yourself to sleep. You had come clean to them all, telling them about the pretend dating to help him get his ex back all the way to your childhood with Haechan and even the fallout of your friendship. You even told them about the feelings you were harboring, sobbing through your broken words. They tried to reassure you, telling you that they believed there was something real between you and Haechan, but you couldn’t bring yourself to believe them, not after what you just went through with him. Thankfully for you, it was a weekend and you didn’t have classes till the following Monday and that meant you didn’t have to try and avoid him as much as possible.
By the beginning of the week, you do your best to dodge him in any way. You stopped going to the Neo cafe for the first week, Sin-ra taking the initiative to bring you your drink every morning before your first class. In the class you shared with him, at first you’d sit in the very back to avoid being near him and people quickly took notice. It wasn’t long before whispers started going around that you two had broken up and Mark was a part of some of the rumors. When he got wind of everything, you told him the same thing you told your friends and he apologized to you for everything. After so many years, he finally knew why you and Haechan stopped being friends and he felt responsible for that, but you reassured him that there was nothing he could’ve done then or now.
It was nearing your last week for your project and you’re sitting in your shared class with Haechan who was nowhere to be seen. As you’re leaving when the professor tells everyone class was dismissed, your professor stops you and asks you to stay behind. “I wanted you to know that Donghyuck already submitted his portion of the project, so I’ll only need the remaining 25% from you.” You’re confused and it’s evident on your face as you grip the bag over your shoulder. “I’m sorry, but we agreed to split it down the middle, what did he submit already?”
“Are you sure? He emailed me this morning and submitted the essay portion and said you’d do the final draft on the slide presentation. Get with him and let me know before the deadline.” You simply nod and bid him a farewell as you leave your last class for the day. There are so many thoughts in your head as you pull your phone from your pocket and just as you’re about to text Haechan, you bump into someone on your way out. “Oh I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, I’m so—y/n?”
When you look up from your phone, you see Johnny standing in front of you. He was a little taken aback to see you, but still happy that he ran into you. “Oh hey, what’s up?” The two of you make small talk as you stand outside the building, chatting about the little things in life. “Oh before I forget, you’re coming to the party tonight right?” You’re unsure what to tell him, your silence leaving open room to answer. “It’s okay if you can’t make it, Haechan said you two were working on a big project so I get why you haven’t been around, but if you come tonight we’d be happy to have you.” Hearing Haechan’s name felt almost foreign, having neither your friends or Mark even uttering his name over these last few weeks. “I’ll see if i can make it.” Johnny gives you a genuine smile before heading off and you two go your own ways. When you make it back to your hall, Wonchae and Yechae are sitting on Wonchae’s bed as they watch a movie on her laptop.
“Wanna watch the movie with us, I can put it on the tv?” You smile at Yechae’s offer, but simply shake your head. “I’m gonna go to sleep instead, thank you though.” You slip underneath your blanket and lay in bed till your eyes get too heavy to keep open anymore. You’re not sure what time it was when your phone starts going off, waking you from your peaceful sleep. Your fumble as you sit up in bed, grabbing your phone from your side table. Through tired eyes, you see an unknown number calling you and hesitantly, you slide across your phone to answer. “Hello?”
“Y/n, we need you here! Haechan is whining for you.” You recognize Johnny’s voice, the mention of Haechan’s name sending a rush of adrenaline through your body. “Where is he?” You try to be as quiet as you can, looking over at Wonchae and Yechae cuddling silently in her bed. “He’s upstairs, I kind of lost him when I was busy cleaning up his puke, but I managed to snatch his phone before he disappeared to call you.” With a heavy sigh, you climb out of bed and throw on a sweatshirt before telling Johnny you’re on your way. Without a car, you’d have to walk all the way to the frat house where the party was thrown, but it’d take too long for you to get there so you opt to run instead as you mentally thank yourself for taking track one year in high school.
As you’re reaching the doors to the house, you’re panting and out of breath while dragging yourself inside. Pretty much everyone was gone and the scattered cups on the ground gave you an idea of how the night went. Johnny was crouched down picking things up off the floor when you walked in, looking your way as you tried to catch your breath. “Oh hey y/n, you okay? You look kind of..sweaty.” You shook your head as your hands rested on your hips, taking in slow deep breaths to steady your breathing. “Where is he?” You were here to find Haechan, as much as you wanted to make small talk with Johnny, you were too tired to even try. “Check his room, Taeyong should still be up there with him.” Nodding, you drag your feet towards the staircase and tiredly make your way to the top. Going solely off memory, you walk down the hallway till you’re standing in front of Haechan’s room. From inside, you can hear faint crying and Taeyong’s voice.
Pushing the door open gently, you see Haechan sitting on his bed with a cup of water in his hand while Taeyong is sitting beside him. When he noticed your entrance, Taeyong stood up from the bed and silently walked towards you. He placed his hand gently on your shoulder before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him. You stood in the middle of the room, staring at the boy who was silently sniffling as he stared down at his cup in his hand. “Do you have your keys, I can bring you to your room if you do.” He simply shook his head, gripping the cup in his hand. A sigh left your lips as you turned to his closet, rummaging through his clothes. “W-what are you doing?” You pull a shirt off a hanger, walking over to him. “You can’t sleep in that, it has liquids on it.” Haechan stays still, as if he was frozen in time. His body shook slightly every time he hiccuped, but he didn’t bother moving.
“Get changed please, I’ll leave so you can—“
“Please don’t leave me.”
You’re biting your bottom lip as you see his head rise, meeting his swollen and teary eyes. “Just for tonight, I just need you tonight.” He looked so sad, tears dried on his cheeks as he fought back the tears. You should’ve left, hell you shouldn’t have even come, but you needed to make sure he was okay and from the looks of it, he was far from it. “I’ll turn around, but you need to get out of your clothes and into something to sleep in.” Silently, he stands from his bed and sets the cup on his desktop. You handed him the shirt you grabbed from his closet, walking towards the door and facing away so that he could get dressed. After a few minutes pass, Haechan tells you he’s done and you turn around to him laying in his bed on one side, leaving space for you on the other.
Walking over after turning off the light, you pull back the blanket and slide into the space he’s left you. The two of you lay in silence, the moonlight shining through the cracks of his window cover. “I’m sorry.” Haechan’s voice was barely over a whisper, but neither of you could bring it to look at each other. “You’re drunk, you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” You could feel how tense he was beside you, if you reached out to him you were afraid he’d fall apart. “I’m sober enough to know what I'm saying and I need you to believe me on that.” You shift onto your side, tucking your underneath his pillow as your eyes fall to the side of his face. He can feel your gaze on him, waiting for him to continue. “I didn’t mean anything I said that day, even back when we were kids.
“I was jealous of your friendship with Mark, in a way I still am because he’s been by your side this whole time and because of my insecurities, I missed all of that.” You knew he had a hard time believing in people after he had been let down many times before, you understood where he was coming from, but that doesn’t justify his actions. “I’m sorry you had to come out here at this hour, I don’t remember much of what I said to the boys, but it was enough for them to call you and for that, i'm sorry for wasting your time.”
The light coming from his window was just enough for you to see the tear that slid from his eye down the side of his face. “Was she here tonight?” You knew it was none of your business, you had no right to be asking him this, but part of you needed to know. “Yeah.”
“Did you guys get back together, I mean that was the whole point of this right?”
Haechan turns on his side to face you, tucking his arm underneath his head to prop himself up to your eye level. “She tried, but I told her it was over when she left me for that guy.” You’re a bit taken aback, why did he turn her down? What was the point of all of this if it was not for him to win her back. “Why, didn’t you want her back?” Haechan’s eyes locked with yours, searching them for something to give him the confidence to go on. He could see it in your eyes, but for so long he had been too scared to ruin what you two were building. “Spending this time with you blurred everything around me y/n, she was what I thought I wanted, but it wasn’t till I lost you that I knew what I needed instead.”
You felt speechless, staring at him with parted lips. He had just confessed that you were what he wanted and that alone made your head feel dizzy. Now lies the difficult decision, to lie and pretend you don’t feel anything to protect yourself or run to him and trust that he’ll protect you instead and all the love you have in your heart for him. “Say something please.” Hesitantly, you bring a hand up to his face, brushing his hair back to get the best view of him as possible. “Looks like we have a problem.”
“And that is?”
“I broke one of the two rules we made, well technically I broke them both but the first rule was broken after you were an asshole.” Haechan sat up, propping himself on his elbow as he stared down at you. “Does that mean I can kiss you?” A smile spreads across his lips as he watches the light reflect in your eyes. You give him a nod, all the confirmation he needed to lean down and capture your lips within his. The kiss felt familiar, like he had done this a million times before. Your arm wraps around his neck, pulling him close to you as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss. The two of you healed a part of you that was long overdue, the two best friends within you now reunited. Now that you’re older, you not only have your best friend back, but the young boy you loved is too there beside you.
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so for starters if you’ve gotten this far, why thank you pook 🥹i’m really sorry if the ending feels rushed, i’ve never written something this long before so i was struggling i tell ya🥲🫂 and i just wanna say ily and you’re doing great and if you liked it,, pls lmk! it always helps when you share your thoughts w me 🫶
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astayinwonderland · 3 months
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Do you think we are about to make a terrible mistake? | Zhong Chenle
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pairing: chenle x f.reader
genre: besties to lovers | smut +18 MDNI
summary: chenle has been away for a while and you miss your best friend-- however, everything changes when you realise you might actually love him more than a friend
wc: 2.2k
warnings: mentions and use of alcohol, anxiety, consensual sex, unprotected sex (pls no), oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms-- lmk if I forgot anything
It’s 15 minutes past 11, where the fuck is he? 
You already texted him twice. You called. The party had already started and your friends wondered if you would make it. Hell, you were wondering if you should just go on your own. But no– you promised you would get there together for old-time’s sake. It’s been a little over a year since Chenle moved out of the country, your days of embracing nothingness together are gone, movie nights are just nostalgic memories, and maybe some words left unspoken. You missed your best friend dearly and even though you often called each other, it was not the same. Not at all. You missed more than his company. You missed his essence, aura, sparkly eyes, smile, and touch… 
Your heart suddenly ached. Were you truly in love or is it just the fact that this is the first time you will see him since he left? The thoughts that rudely invade your brain get interrupted by three loud knocks. Running to the door, you can feel the thundering beating of your heart ringing in your ears. 
“I know I’m late, I’m sorry…. Please don’t be upset–” 
You open the door abruptly and there he is. 
Zhong Chenle. 
Blue 3-piece suit. His hair graciously falls over his forehead, framing his beautiful face. He gives you the brightest of smiles, your heart skips a bit. 
“Don’t hate me. Come here!” he opens his arms to embrace you. 
“Shut up,” you throw your arms around him, and suddenly everything is fine. Time has not passed. 
His nose lowers to your head and he inhales your scent. This is home to him, he can’t believe he’s been away from you for so long. All he yearns is to keep you close, but doing so means having to accept the fact that he is irremediably in love with you. 
Smoke and bright lights danced around the place and the crowd made way for you and the man of the hour apparently. Everyone reaches out to Chenle. Hugs, high fives, praises, and kisses shower him. You can’t help but feel a tad bit jealous. This was supposed to be a fun night for you and your best friend… and your other friends as well. But Chenle is loved, popular, and missed, of course, people would be all over him. You feel silly for suggesting going to the party in the first place. 
You’re snapped back to reality when your body crashes into Chenle’s. His hand is possessively placed around your waist. Your audible gasp makes him laugh. 
“Where did your mind go, silly?” 
“Nowhere, I just wish we were somewhere else. This is not how I envisioned tonight, you know… after spending so much time apart,” you force a smile and feel his thumb caressing you softly. There was something up with him, but to your surprise, you couldn’t read him. 
Chenle closes the distance between you too. He's a little too close, his breath fanning on your face. Is he going to–
“Chenle!” 
Shiny hair, plump lips, white smile. Her manicured hand was already snaking its way to Chenle’s arm. She looks at you, scanning up and down as if she were trying to figure out who you are. 
“Oh, hey! Wh- what are you doing here?” Chenle replies. A kiss on her cheek makes your heart sink. 
Chenle’s eyes go from you to the girl and again to you. He is about to introduce you but you suddenly feel like your heart is going to burst out your chest, your palms are sweaty, your eyes getting watery and your ability to breathe fades as you try to fight the feeling. 
“I really need to go. Sorry– Nice to meet you,” you say politely. You try not to cry as you make your way out. Chenle watches as you leave, but he feels how his chest tightens more and more with each step you take away from him. 
After his third call, you get into the shower hoping that the pain would fade away with the hot water hitting your vulnerable skin. With tears streaming down your face and sobs that echo around your bathroom you finish your shower. You are too exhausted to do anything else but sleep, and your phone has long been forgotten in your purse. 
You think you just blinked but in reality, it is a little past 3 a.m. and the faintest sound coming from your door seems to wake you up. In a panic, you rush and open the door to find a sobering Chenle by your door. 
“...it was about fucking time you opened that door, silly, I’ve been knocking for hours I thought–” 
You cut him off, pulling him in. 
“Chenle what the fuck?” 
He smiles at your puzzled expression. His hair is a bit messy now, blue suit is wrinkled. You can’t help but wonder if anything happened with the girl in the club. 
“I’ve been waiting for hours… I followed you back here but you locked the door. I called you so many times… ” he frowns. 
You go to the kitchen and fetch him a water bottle. As he starts drinking it, you find his eyes searching yours…  Sparks. No. No. This is your best friend Chenle. Nothing can ever happen between you and your best friend. The one who taught you how to ride a bike, tie your shoelaces, and give the best hugs ever. 
“You look so pretty,” he finally says. 
“Drink your water, Chenle,” you sigh. 
“You do!” he insists. 
“Who has she?” and you can’t believe the words that leave your mouth. You weren’t supposed to ask. 
“We did a semester together abroad. She is a good classmate that’s all. I never meant to upset you– you are too important…” 
You weren’t sure where the conversation was going, but Chenle assumed he talked too much. He puts the water bottle down and makes his way to you. Now you find yourself between your best friend and your bedroom door. The hard wooden surface against your back reminds you that once you cross that threshold with him, your relationship will change forever. 
His hands touch your waist, not sure if he has permission to do so, but you welcome him as the drug you need. His lips inches from yours and you pray he will kiss you, but time stops. It’s really only you and him at last like you dreamt of so many restless nights. 
“I’ve been wanting to ask you something since the moment I came back…” 
“Yes?” your voice comes out as a breathless whisper. 
“Can I kiss you?” 
You can’t even wait to answer him when your lips are already on his. His tongue teases yours and your lips part. He tastes of expensive wine, lust, and love. Chenle moans into your mouth and that is it for you. You want every single inch of you to be consumed by him. You reach out to open the door to your room. 
“Please,” you ask. 
“How can I say no to you?” he smiles and kisses you once again. 
Each second you spend kissing him you feel your skin getting hotter, desire coursing through your veins making you dizzy, and then you feel him carry you. Bride style, his lips never leaving yours. He carefully lowers you onto the bed, his hands now exploring your clothed body, the feeling of sparks under his fingertips making the moment intense, and urgent. Little moans and cries escape you both as Chenle helps you to straddle him. Your delicate fingers move his hair away from his face. The most beautiful man is underneath you, eyes on yours, lips parted. His chest rises and falls, you contemplate him for a moment. He takes your hands into his, everything seems surreal, you have spent countless times in this bedroom but not like this—a new territory. 
“Do you think we are about to make a terrible mistake?” your voice is small, you may not want to know what he has to say. 
He shakes his head. His hand reaches your cheek. 
“Do you?” 
Now you shake your head. 
“Good. Then kiss me, silly, and don’t stop unless you don’t want to do this–” but you don’t let him finish his thought and your lips already found his. 
It is then that you finally understand that he needs you as much as you need him. The pieces of clothing now are forgotten somewhere on your bedroom floor. Every part of you reacting to Chenle’s heavenly but sinful touch. His fingers finally take the only item of clothing left, your panties. He lowers himself, eye level with your wet cunt. 
“So pretty,” he murmurs. 
His tongue licks your entrance, ending in your clit which he sucks and your soul seems to leave your body as your back arches for him. Your hands immediately reach your breasts increasing the sinful pleasure coursing through you. You feel one of his fingers slide in you with almost no resistance. That’s how aroused you are for him. You gasp and your hips move, making the feeling of his hot mouth on your cunt even better. With his tongue flat on your slit, Chenle’s hands squeeze your thighs, encouraging you to use his face as you please. Only stopping to spit on your throbbing core, he eats you out so deliciously your soft moans turning louder. Legs over his shoulders now, he adds two curling fingers in you. 
Again and again, he kicks your clit, his fingers working magic inside you, fogging your brain and heightening the urge to cum for him. 
“Fuck! I– I’m–” you can’t think, you can’t speak… and so your orgasm hits you with such intensity you are shaking under him. Your legs turn to jelly. The heavy breathing that follows your cries echo in your ears. Chenle plants one last kiss on your clit and your legs close from the overstimulation. 
He lets out a low-pitched chuckle and the vibration travels straight to your clit again. 
“You okay?” 
You look at him in between your legs. Did this just happen? Your head falls back once more to the pillow. An involuntary laugh escapes your lips. But Chenle knows you, sometimes better than he knows himself he thinks and to him, this moment is making his heart go a million miles an hour. What an honour to have you like this, all fucked out, and all for him. 
Little kisses are planted on your thighs, on your lower stomach, your hands, your breasts, until he reaches your face. You giggle in response. His eyes meet yours, and different from what you thought, you are not embarrassed. You want him more than ever, so you kiss him. 
“More than okay,” you finally replied. 
Reaching south of his body you find his erection already leaking for you. You stroke it slowly, the faintest of moans leaving Chenle’s lips. This is the greatest reward you can get. His breath hitches as your pace gets faster. 
“Aaahhh…” a long, whiny moan. 
“You like that?” 
He nods reassuring you. 
You bring his hips lower, aligning his tip with your entrance. In anticipation, your eyes shut but immediately your jaw falls open when Chenle’s cock begins to stretch your needy cunt. Inch after inch, pleasure builds on pleasure and you silently pray the moment never ends when he starts moving in but not completely out of you. Your nails digging into his biceps, loving the way he stretches you out. 
“Ch-chenle,” 
“I know, I got you,” and he wraps one of your legs around his waist, making his thrusts deeper, his cock dragging against your walls that clench tightly around him. 
“Feels so so good,” your hand goes to his head, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling slightly. 
“Say. That. Again,” he moans. 
“It feels so good”. 
Chenle buries his face in the crook of your neck. Mild sharp pain fades into pleasure when he bites your skin, licking the now sensitive spot to ease the harsh sensation. You pull his hair once more, this time to make him kiss you. And he does, so lost in passion, so lost in you. The kiss is sloppy, messy, perfect. His thumb presses circles on your clit acting as the perfect trigger for your orgasm. You feel climbing higher and higher, his cock twitching inside you, his hot breath fanning on your face, his lips curving into a smile. Fuck, he is everything. 
“Chenle! Fuck… ah!” you cum for him. 
“Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes,” he repeats as a broken record as he pulls out and cums letting out a high-pitched moan that you will remember for the rest of your life. 
Chenle kisses your face, your hands, and helps you clean up. However, you didn’t exchange a word then. Now, you find yourselves back in bed, still naked. His arm around your waist, your head on his chest. His heartbeat is a love poem itself. 
“You know,” he breaks the silence. “I don’t ever want to say hello or leave without kissing you… I guess what I’m trying to say is–” 
You kiss him. It’s a long kiss, your lips pressed against his. Everything feels just right like it’s meant to be. 
“I really like you, Chenle,” you whisper, somewhat scared of what he will say back. 
“I really really like you too, silly,” he smiles. 
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a/n: this is pure ✨fiction✨
I hope enjoyed this :3 ~ masterlist
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jaeyunverse · 8 months
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the roommate conflict (teaser)
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pairing: na jaemin x fem!reader
genres: fluff, crack, angst, found family, strangers to lovers, roommate au, college au
est. wc: 20k
warnings: profanity, chaos, lots of idol features + all warnings to be added in the full fic!
summary: your roommate is the devil incarnate, you can’t afford your own place, chaewon won’t move out of the apartment you’re supposed to move in till the next semester and you’re positive you will kill yourself the next time someone pisses you off. cue na jaemin, the cute boy from next door, who swoops in and saves the day by offering you a place in his home.
taglist: @s00buwu @justalildumpling @imhuh @lovesuhng @loveforred @hibernatinghamster @jamaisunoo @carelessshootanonymous @tangerinelovelees @babyjenono @urfavtallgirl @luvenshiti @tika-writes-lol @jaemsushi @sseramine send an ask / comment to be added!
note: i am in love w roommate aus!!!!!! and i’m really excited for this one hehe <3
masterlist
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“So you’re going to keep living with Eunsook for the next few months?”
You shrugged and looked out the window, noticing that you were only a few minutes away from your destination. “I don’t have much of a choice. The dorms are at full capacity and I can’t afford to live alone.”
Jaemin bit his lip in contemplation. Technically, he could offer to let you live with him and his housemates. Chenle had already gone back to China to complete the rest of his education, meaning Jaemin didn’t have a roommate anymore.
Besides, with you chipping in on the rent, his own financial problems would be solved.
To Jaemin, the idea seemed to be a win-win. He enjoyed your company thoroughly and doubted the boys would be opposed to you moving in.
Nonetheless, outright suggesting it to you felt weird. This was only your second encounter, and though your best friends were some of his close friends, he couldn’t just drop the question out of nowhere.
You probably weren’t even comfortable living in a house filled with people of the opposite gender, and the last thing Jaemin wanted to do was make things awkward by putting you in a difficult position.
So, he decided to take the safer route and casually mentioned, “Tell me about it. My roommate returned to his home a month ago and now the rent’s being split three ways instead of four. The economy has been kicking our asses. Finding a good housemate is proving to be tougher than we thought too.”
You averted your gaze from the window to meet his. With no small amount of satisfaction, Jaemin noted that your eyebrows were raised.
You were interested.
The only thing left for you to do was ask.
Come on, he urged you mentally. Do it. Ask me if it’s possible for you to move in.
You opened your mouth to speak, but before you could do so, the car behind you honked multiple times.
Jaemin cringed and stepped on the accelerator, not having realised that the traffic light had turned green.
He glimpsed the shake of your head out of the corner of his eye and knew you’d decided against whatever you were going to say before.
“Yeah. Fuck inflation.”
No matter how hard he tried, Jaemin couldn’t stop his heart from sinking.
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766 notes · View notes
vad-hander · 4 months
Text
YOU KNOW WE'RE NOT COMPATIBLE, RIGHT?
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pairing: Haechan x reader
others: Mark, Jaemin, Jeno as Haechan's friends.
genre: smut | angst | fluff | college AU | fuck buddies AU to lovers | series
warnings: reader is mean and degrading towards Haechan throughout the fic (but nothing serious), mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of stealing, Haechan gets injured (breaks his leg, no graphic descriptions), explicit description of sexual interactions between Haechan and reader, unrequited love, reader has issues with showing her feelings, scared of other people's opinion, slowburn, romance
words: 13,7k
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3
“Hey.”
“Hey.” your head lifted at the sound of your roommate. 
“He's left already?” you felt your lips form a smile unconsciously. 
“Yeah, I literally cannot look into my computer a minute longer.” you sighed dramatically, shutting down the laptop on your knees after you got notified all the work was finally saved and dropped against the back rest. 
It was your 8th working session in the past two weeks with Haechan. You’ve never seen Lee Haechan so often, never had to sit right next to him in pure quietness for hours and try to have some sort of thinking process. 
It was difficult any way you looked at it and you were glad he was finally gone. At least, for the evening. 
Apparently, Jeno needed his help immediately and Haechan could never say no to a friend in need, which is a quote. 
Talking of needs, you wondered what happened to this man’s needs since having him as a working partner seemed to somehow kill his hormones. Even when you very much intentionally set a couple of your meetings in his house the boy didn’t lay a single finger on you. 
Figuratively speaking, because in fact the only thing he laid on you in those past 2 weeks were his palms. On your shoulder, or leg but it didn’t go past a teasing touch and you were confused beyond and above. 
“I can imagine studying with Lee Haechan be tiring.” she cackled, placing her body on the armrest next to you. Her hand going under her head for support, making the girl take a half laying position on an armrest close to you, almost pressing her body to yours. 
You probably reeked Haechan since the boy was practically attached to you at your hip for the past 5 hours, you were afraid she’d be able to pinpoint the scent of him, or more honestly you didn’t want her to ruin that scent with her fresh meadow scented deodorant. 
“He’s actually doing a good job.” you smiled awkwardly, noticing the eyes of your friend. A cunning fox type of stare wasn’t a good thing coming from Eunsoo, you could not wonder immediately if she saw how handsy Haechan was before he left and was testing the waters before jumping onto you with questions? Did she hear him asking if you’re free tomorrow night? Or worse, did she see him rub his face against your neck, saying he needed a break to distract his thoughts for a later on better thinking process? 
In all honesty, Haechan rubbed his face against you too many times during your sessions to go unnoticed by people around and the amount of times you were in fact ready to help him distract his brain and he never proceeded with the action made you tired, upset and even slightly annoyed. 
“What, what is this smile?” you laughed it off awkwardly, very awkwardly,  to be completely honest. You looked away to hide your eye twitch. 
“Surprised you’re not ripping hair off your head after every working session with him.” she laughed, and… it felt lie she maybe testet the water...? Did she try to tap on the fact you didn’t really hate spending time next to him?
“I-, he-, it’s funny to say, he’s good with academic studies, apparently, and if he’s not just typing gibberish into the laptop I think we might even be one of the top students.” you chuckled. “Oh, by the way, we left some food in the fridge, if you’re hungry.”
“We?” she teased with a smirk.
“My God, Eunsoo.” your eyes rolled backwards.
“No, it’s a good thing, I guess.”
“What is a good thing?”
“We’re not hating on Haechan anymore, right?” 
“I don’t think anybody actually really hated him in our friend group... except for Sua?" your thoughts trailed off before you got back "Why are you asking, anyway?”
“Ugh-agh.” she swallowed and fixed the hair on her head. 
“You’ve got something you wanted to say, don't you?” 
“Me? No? I was just testing the waters.“ your heart missed a beat because you were totally right. You cleared your throat in an attempt to unnoticeably calm your heart down.   
“Testing the waters, huh?“ still, you couldn’t keep yourself from shuffling, having to stand up and actually move around the room to not seem suspicious to your friend that acted way too suspicious herself. 
“Since you two are seem to be more friendly than before, not to jump far too ahead, but we all can be… friends… now?” she questioned, shaking her head a little as if the thought alone was still a little bewildering to her. It did seem bewildering to you too, every one of you being close to each other, being friends. “I thought I could ask you once again if you’d like to go on the boat trip that happens to be next weekend?“
“I don’t know.“ You shook your head with no answer. 
Maybe you should come, for your friends, for Eunsoo, not mind Haechan, his presence and presence of all his friends. At the end of the day, you don’t even have to look at each other, but on the other hand avoiding him could give him the wrong idea, the idea that your feelings for him have changed?
“Ya, look.” Eunsoo clapped, as her voice went a little louder, making you come back to reality “’I don’t know is much more of a better answer than a straight up no. Haechan must’ve shaken your ground, huh?“ her brows went up and down playfully. 
“Yeah, sure. He’s such a charming, lovely and smart guy I suddenly couldn’t imagine us part ways for the weekend, now that we’re all BFFs.“ Eunsoo laughed.
“Oh please don’t go in detail about your newly found passion in Haechan, I still have food to digest.“ She gagged jokingly. “Anyway, I’ma bout to shake your ground even more.“
“I’m all ears.“ You wiggled your brows playfully.
“The boat trip is free.“ you gasped, squinting your eyes in confusion.
“How come? How’d you make Jeno agree to that? What did you promise him?“ You jumped up to your friend, hand on your heart in concern.
“Nothing, I didn’t need to-“
“Jeno himself suggested I’m coming for free?“ you stared at her wide-eyed, trying to get a secret out of her that she obviously wasn’t keeping too well. 
“Ugh, not really-“ Eunsoo tried to get an answer out of her mouth but her brain was definitely not cooperating and you didn’t want to stop asking questions at the kinda exciting news. You took a moment in your brain to question yourself. Why exactly did the thought excite you so much? Jeno was practically a stranger to you. “So did you ask him to? Soo-yah, I’m starting to think he might have a crush… on me…? Of all people?!“ you couldn’t hold back a giggle. 
“I don’t-“ The girl paused calmly.
“He wants me to come no matter what? If he’s saying it’s free suddenly? I’m sure Sua and Aeri transferred him money last week.“ 
“Ugh… you sorta got it right.“ She sighed.
“Wh-“ you started confused “No, what?“ You spoke louder. “What did he say? What did he say?“ You pulled onto Eunsoo’s hand for more info, like an excited puppy.
“He just asked if you decided on coming… I said no, you’re not going to be there so he just said I can take you with me…” she paused and then suddenly continued “Said you have to be there no matter what so I’m here asking you if you’d come if it was free?“
“Should I?“ You chuckled.
“If you want to?“ She spoke awkwardly, you had to take a step back and recollect yourself. 
“Hey, I… actually, I thought Jeno had a thing for you and you two were slowly drifting in that direction? What happened with that? Thats very out of the blue…? Him wanting to see me there. When we’re there I should tell him I’m not interested, you d-.“
“No, no!“ Eunsoo jumped up. “Don’t tell him anything.“
“Why?“
“I-ugh, he’s going to be pissed I told you, just don’t mention anything, it’s better you act the usual.“
“Are you sure?“
“Yeah, yeah, don’t go out of your way just to refuse him.“
“I-oh, okay. But are you okay with that?“ 
“Yeah, yeah. So you’re going then, right?“
“Guess I’m going, then.“ you chuckled.
“Fantastic.“ Eunsoo clapped her hands relieved, the conversation seemed too awkward for her, it could not not gut you. “I’ll go eat leftovers of your fancy lunch with your new best friend.“ 
-
From: Haechan
Great news, cupcake.
To: Haechan
What news?
From: Haechan 
You’re coming to Jeno’s little party
To: Haechan
So it’s great news now
Didn’t you say that I’ll shit your party?
From: Haechan
Aw, baby, you’re keeping everything I say close to your heart, I’m honoured
Don’t worry tho, I changed my opinion and I’m going to make the best of your presence
To: Haechan
Awww poor baby, You must’ve gotten a little too comfortable and forgot we’re not friends
it’s fine though, I’ll say hi back to you once I see you on that boat
From: Haechan
I hope you’re not getting sea sick and stuff
I’ve never done you on water, won’t forgive you for ruining my chance
And then sure, lets not talk
To: Haechan
NO
and, I’m sure you’re overestimating Jeno’s abilities, isn’t it going to be more of a catamaran type boat? lol
From: Haechan
why the caps lock you want to make sure I know you’re not getting sea sick?
To: Haechan
F u 
Go finish the project on your own 
From:Haechan
You’re not much of a help anyway
To: Haechan
And finish yourself off on your own too <3
Excuse me, I’m not much of a help?!?
Your life’s about to end
From: Haechan
If you’re considering staring at me while I actually work on our paper help, I’ve got bad news for you cupcake
You gasped scandalised and threw your phone away. Annoying Haechan and his annoyingly good eyesight, you thought, he deserves to be left on read.
From: Haechan
whoopsie, was I supposed to keep my mouth closed?
You never were supposed to text me in the first place, you mumbled under your breath, suddenly being too worked up by him. His senseless messages made your heart wake up and burn, not with love and passion, with embarrassment and that long forgotten, almost dead feeling of wishing to end his cocky smile and witty brain. 
From: Haechan
come on, don’t act like you’re surprised 
I thought you were this obvious on purpose
weren’t you?
You stared at the phone blankly, considering your options. 
from: Haechan
hey
hey!!
you 
to: Haechan
I’ll block you if you won’t stop
from: Haechan 
why?
to: Haechan 
hey
Hey
You 
You 
Hey
You
Fuck 
You
like it?
from: Haechan
okay baby go back to what you were doing, bye 
to: Haechan 
thanks
-
You reached out for the bedside table in pure darkness, blindly finding your phone. When the gadget was finally in your hands you lit up the screen. 
“Fuck”, you mumbled under your breath as the screen burned your eyes. 2 AM, the clock marking an hour and 30 minutes of tossing and turning in bed because everything turned out to be more than you were able to handle. All your thoughts and feelings suddenly were much more than what you could process and you were sincerely dreading the new day that would bring more concerns and more importantly more Haechan. 
You needed more random things to flood your mind so they’d be able to overlap the Haechan ones you had because thinking of Haechan in the middle of the night was giving you a headache. Did he think of you too…? Sometimes, maybe, at least at all, ever? How did you end up getting here? You’d chuckle if someone else asked you that question. 
Middle of the night, palms sweaty from overthinking too much, heart trembling a little because the boy you used to just have sex with smashed the lock on the door to your feelings with no mercy. 
Was he intentionally invading your inner peace? Did he want to stir your feelings as part of his stupid ego stroking, did you imagine things, come up with all that in your head? You needed Lee Haechan to take responsibility for his actions, he overstepped the boundary way too many times, now he flirts with you as an addition to everything else. Baby? Seriously, baby, cupcake was much of a better nickname, at least you knew it was meaningless and not personal. It felt like he wasn’t bothered too much to remember what your actual name was and stuck to something that made your relationship feel like a transaction. Baby is definitely giving a feeling to you, a little too intimate for your liking, it’s like he was claiming he liked you, like he claimed you his something and you were in some sort of relationship. 
What if his silly brain already spilled things to his group of friends about you and him? Your heartbeat fastened even more. Oh how you hated yourself for laying in that bed and still thinking of Haechan’s message when it’s been an ungodly amount of hours since he sent it. 
Maybe, it’s just you going crazy since that day he took you out. 
What if…? You had to toss onto the other side of the bed at the thought. What if he does all of this to play with you? Since the day you told him to not kiss you Haechan seemed to change his game, he just plays to try make you brake the rule of no kissing first. He’s that type of person to do things only to satisfy his own needs and satisfy his ego. Oh god, you had to sigh again. 
Were you going through all stages of grief or something like that? Now you’re on the demonising the person of your concerns stage? Sigh, sigh, sigh. 
You couldn’t  sigh any louder or you'll literally wake up Eunsoo. 
Maybe, at this point, you’d really let him do anything to fulfil whatever plan he had. You’d  gladly accept defeat if only he’d let you smash your lips against his right this moment, it doesn’t even have to be literally right this moment. If you’d get reassurance you’d be able to do it in the morning you’ll do anything in your power to conquer your feelings and finally fall asleep to hold on till the new day. 
-
“Just to clarify, I was staring at you because I couldn’t stop wondering, if you had brain in that head of yours all along, why did you act like you didn’t, not because of whatever you thought.” you slapped your palm against Haechan’s chest for no particular reason, it seemed to you it’ll give more effect, persuade him more you were telling the truth. A very puzzled expression on the boys face turned into even more confused one as your palm stayed on him for a few seconds. 
“Okay?”
“Good.” you nodded, and took a step back. 
“I didn’t ask. What are you even on about?” your eyes suddenly glued to his. He still was confused, that’s for sure. Well, who wouldn’t, in all honesty. You popped out of the blue on his way to the campus, first thing in the morning like a psychopath. You weren’t even sure you didn’t look like one. 
“Ugh… huh?” your brain processed his question. “What do you mean what I’m on about?”
“When were you staring? I just got here.” 
“Your message on Friday.”
“Oh, that.” he smirked immediately. “I was just shitting you, but it seems like I hit the spot right?”
“You- fuck you.” 
“Come on, don’t act like you’re not enjoying me texting you.”
“I don’t. You’re always interrupting.”
“Yeah? What exactly did I interrupt on Friday?”
“I-, I was doing something. It’s none of your business.” 
“Okay, I’ll stay out of it then.” the slight nod and completely lost interest in his eyes kind of pinched you. 
You maybe wanted him to pick on you, push and tease so he’d get straight to whatever he was interrupting but he just didn’t. Did he lose all his interest in you? Or was this just a tiresome Monday morning and he wasn’t in for the game?
You weren’t that much of a talkative friend when it came to him. You weren’t about to giggle and ask him why he's so stiff this morning. You were about to start sweating that’s for sure, your palms were feeling too warm because you maybe wanted to tell him something but maybe talking to him suddenly felt like imposing. Were you about to go insane over Lee Haechan? Over him and the fact he didn’t have a thing to say to you. Since when? 
“Okay.” you nodded too and wanted to walk straight past him, but it felt like you made it hard for yourself to breathe. “The presentation of the project is this Wednesday. I’m almost done with the slides but we need to go through the text, who’s saying what, who’s presenting which part and all that stuff.” you didn’t want to look at him anymore while talking. Why did you not want to look at him? You couldn’t understand yourself at all. Your wishful thinking brought you here in front of him early in the morning after almost a sleepless night. Somehow you thought he’d tease you and smile at you and set another date for seeing each other wether it’d be for sex or food or school. At this point you caught yourself not caring at all as long as it’s something to do with him. You could understand the change in your demeanour, but what was up with him? You really wanted to clap in front of his eyes and ask him what’s up. 
The change in you obviously scared you. It made you sincerely concerned for your self. You probably needed to talk this out with someone but the more you went through with that first sentence you’d start the conversation with the more you felt self-conscious to bring it up even as a thought that might’ve popped up in your head once or twice. 
The more you thought of it the more you brought up heaviness on your shoulders. Were you imagining or did Haechan change? His behaviour seemed colder than before? Did he change his demeanour because he felt you actually fall for his flirting and the pure intentions of his flirting were not to make you fall for him… it was to watch you be uncomfortable? 
Were you actually beating around the bush and not admitting to yourself truthfully the four letter word you were feeling towards him. No, not the big four letter word, the smaller one, but very much dear to your heart, very fragile as it still felt like early stages of processing the feeling. And even though your body might’ve not been new to it, since your brain was only able to work it out recently, your body was sent signals to act like the feeling was very new to it too, and it obeyed perfectly. 
You actually had to stop yourself, because you were starting to feel even more hot, getting the fact you might’ve looked insane by now, even. You took a quick glance at Haechan’s face, crossing with his stare only to go blank and look away quickly. Was he sensing the inner battle you had and was disgusted? Didn’t want to be part of it? If the two of you stood there a little longer you were sure you’d make yourself cry right there. Overthinking was definitely your specialty. 
“We’re super short on time, if you don’t mind splitting the presentation on your own and sending to me my parts-.”
“Yes, I can very much do that.” 
“Great, see you around, then.” 
“Yes.” you gave him a nod, you’re sure tho it wasn’t seen. Great, now Haechan didn’t even want to prepare the presentation with you in person. 
-
The clock on the wall was barely audible now that the classroom was practically packed with students. Still, the only thing your hearing was focused on were the seconds that turned into minutes. Your eyes were trained on the door and your fingers would stop fidgeting the pen every time someone walked past the entrance but would get back to work every time because every person that walked through the door wasn’t Lee Haechan. Where the hell was he? You closed your eyes for a 5 second breather. 
Finally, the clock reached 10 AM, one minute later the professor walked into the auditorium and closed the door right behind him. 
“Glad to see you all so cheerful. Bet each and every one of you is thrilled to present your work and get the passing grades?” the young man smiled and cleared his throat, making the whole room quiet. 
Again, the quiet room brought the ticking sound upon you. Tic-tac-tic-tac. 
to: Haechan
Where are you? We’re 5th to present. Professor's about to start the class. 
Your eyes raised at the door once again as one of the students ran in apologising for being late. 
“I think I’ll just go sit in the back and let the first group prepare for the presentation?”  professors eyes moved over the classroom to see the first ones to stand up. “Oh, Ms. Moon and Ms. Ong, great.” he gave Sua and her partner a nod and non-verbally invited them to the front to set up their presentation. 
to: Haechan
Why the hell are you not reading my message?
Your only excuse is you’re running your legs off to get here in time for our turn. 
Please?
You had to add when the message was still unread. Did he die by any chance? Overslept because he was memorising his parts till very late at night? You dialled the number - pure silence was what you were met with besides the monotonous rings on the other side of the line. 
You had to breathe because not only were you starting to feel overwhelmed by the end of the third groups presentation, you were realising you had almost no time left to run through the parts Haechan was meant to present and prepare yourself at least a little. 
“Hey, pst!“ your head snapped in direction of the whisper. “Where’s that little freak?“ Sua leaned over the students in front of her to hear your answer properly, but you had no words for her, you shrugged and turned away to not start bawling your eyes out in panic. 
“Mr. Lee and -“ professor announced running his eyes to scan the faces of present students. “I don’t think I see Mr. Lee in here.“ His eyes landed on you, as he called out your surname. “What happened to Mr. Lee? Is he running late? Will you be okay to present on your own?” 
”I think- I guess he’s running here so he’s not responding. Could we please listen to the next presentation and return to us later? Please?” The man looked at you for a good minute, probably debating if he should give you time or force you to do it now by yourself. Your teary eyes must have swayed him towards the first option and he gave you a nod, reading off the paper the next project couple. 
”Okay, you’re the last one to present tonight.”
”Thank you. Thank you so much.” you trained your eyes on the papers in front of you to memorise whatever Haechan was meant to talk about on those slides. You were agonising, if only you actually put in work to put everything together instead of letting Haechan take care of everything. It felt like you gave in to the devil and now had to pay the price for giving in. Your eyes ran through words but all your brain processed was either ‘fuck you Haechan’ and ‘you better show up before the end of that class’. Actually if he showed up after all the stress you went through right now, you’d choke him right at the entrance. 
Currently you were in the state where you barely remembered your own part and what was the topic of the paper at all. 
He didn't come. Not when it was 20 minutes before the end of the class, not even when you had 10 minutes left and got up in front of everyone to present. 
This very moment you were in the cafeteria with your head hanging low while Aeris hand soothed your back and Sua sat right next to you blabbering non-stop. 
"No, I literally knew being paired up with that annoying leech would end up terrible for you. Like I had a gut feeling he's going to find a way to fuck this all up."
"Haechan literally worked his butt off for that paper, I don't think he'd just fleet like that. Must be something serious." Eunsoo pointed and you almost did agree with her, it didn't seem like Haechan wanted to dodge this class on purpose but at the same time you could never know what actually happened in that little shits head and predict his thinking was like punching air - useless. 
"Yes, serious, like he has to be literally dead now for it to be serious enough excuse to dodge a presentation class like that. Did he read your texts?" Aeri patted your back for attention. You pulled out your phone to still unread messages and shook your head a no. You were slowly calming down and wished he'd pop up before you as soon as possible so you'd still have fume in you to fight.  
"Hey, it wasn't that bad. You literally got an A- and presented perfectly."
"I stuttered like an idiot every 2 words." you spoke for the first time in 15 minutes making everyone relieved. 
"If it was actually as bad as it seems to you you would've never gotten an A-"
"I still don't understand why you told that freak took great part in that paper with you. You had a perfect chance to pay him back but instead he gets an A while probably sleeping in his bed comfortably or some shit." Sua shook her head dissaprovingly. 
"Should've made him pay for real." Aeri agreed. 
"I want to dodge the next class, honestly, I wasn't prepared for that much stress in one morning."
"I can cover for you." Eunsoo suggested. 
"And I can dodge the class with you." Sua cackled and Aeri suggested the same. 
"I, ugh, I think I'm just gonna go home and stare at the wall and meditate." you excused yourself from the girls company and stood up. 
"If you want to you can have the piece of cake in the fridge." 
"That's a real sacrifice, Eunsoo, God." you chuckled and pulled yourself together. "Okay, I guess, see ya tomorrow."
"Bye, bye!"
"Don't think about that loser too much!"
As soon as your feet walked up to the disagnated floor you didnt just walk, you stormed to the needed door. Even before your feet stopped at their place, your finger was already pressing into the doorbell. 
Of course, you weren't about to go back home, stare at the wall and not think that the stupid boy that stirred your insides for the past couple of weeks suddenly faded like he was never there. He was very much there and he was very much invested in getting a good grade. You heard some shuffling behind the door and as it opened you stared at the boy that never stopped you wondering how can you hate someone even more than you hated them the day before. 
"Jesus fucking christ." He exclaimed and pulled your hand off the door bell. "Why the hell you're ringing the bell like that. I'm no Sonic." he let go of your wrist to walk back in, expecting you to do the same. 
"So you're not dead, after all." you snorted to yourself and walked in. 
"Were there any signs?"
"Are you going to pretend like you didn't miss 100s of my calls and messages and didn't skip the very important class we had to present at?"
"Oh? That was scheduled for today?" he opened his mouth in shock, closing it with his palm afterwards. He was obviously sarcastic. 
"You're a psycho." You crossed arms on your chest, not planning to walk in any further into his place. 
"Why?"
"You skipped our presentation without a notice."
"Maybe I just really wanted you to realise how much you need me." Haechan pressed his shoulder against the wall and smiled at you with that sweet-sweet smile he could only muster when he wanted to be out of this world annoying. 
"You're fucking vicious."
"Why?" he batted his eyelashes. 
"I-." you swallowed. You really wanted to scream at him, get into a fight or maybe just be mean and rude and then leave but on your way here that bubbling rage inside of you cooled down a little and you just wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with him to act this way. "Why did I even think for a split second that I can rely on you or that we finally are understanding each other a little bit? You're just out of this world psychotic and I will never ever again agree on doing anything with you. Like even that thing we had going on - it's over. I don't want you lay a single finger on me after that stress you put me through." You wanted to say more but he was quiete and almost dead with the face expression so you decided on turning around and walking away. "oh, by the way, I got you an A so don't you worry bout your grades baby boy." you let him know before walking out and smashing the door after. 
When you smashed that door you hoped whole heartedly he'd pull you back in by the wrist and explain himself like all those male leads in romcoms do. And you would fotgive him and he'd pull you into a hug and give you that very much wanted kiss you've been thinking of for the past few weeks. You were in fact ready to forgive him when you walked up to his place if only he put in effort to explain, you were to be honest already partially relieved when you saw him alive and well. 
But he didn't make a single sound from behind that door and before you walked back down those stairs you decided you'd act out on your pathetic thoughts and slow down with those steps. What if he was putting on some clothes before chasing you down? Or tying his shoe laces before he could walk out. You waited a little bit longer, before it turned way beyond the limits of pathetic behaviour you set. You had to leave and actually get back home. 
Act like you weren't  affected by his behavior, change of his mood and the mixed signals that were coming from him. You had to act in front of Eunsoo like Haechan didn't affect you deeply and all your thoughts were centered around him. 
You couldn't possibly stop yourself thinking if he took your words seriously or he'd figure you were angry and didn't actually mean you didn't want a single finger of his on you, because if he'd reach out first you knew you would not ignore him. 
"You're actually lucky you dipped." Eunsoo walked into your room, arms pulling off the hoodie she wore outside. "Can I sit?" the girl asked pointing at your bed. 
You nodded, scooping your books to one side of the bed. You decided that studying would be helpful for your brain to stop pacing from one thing to the other but you were proven wrong about an hour ago but still stared into those books like they were about to give in. 
"Haechan didn't show up for the rest of the day. Were you successful in finding out what the hell happened with him?"
"No." you shrugged nonchalantly. "I couldn't care less for his reasons. It's for sure the very last time we're working on something together. I mean, worked."
"It's just weird, maybe I'm overthinking." Eunsoo sighed and rested her head on her palm. 
"It is indeed weird." you were trying to understand the girl that was sitting on your bed. Was she just talking to you, did she want you to talk out all the shit you had on your mind about Haechan or she knew something and wanted to dig in further out of pure curiosity. "I'm maybe glad I didn't see him at my peak rage cause I'm sure he would've walked away injured." Eunsoo giggled with her mouth hidden behind her other palm. 
"I hope you'll completely let go of this ridiculous situation by Friday and will enjoy the party like the queen of unbotherness that you are." 
"What party?" you furrowed your eyebrows for a second before your heart dropped down to your feet. "That catamaran thing Jeno's arranging?" That Haechan is totally attending and totally is not going to reach out to you at as he promised before he would. 
"He actually sent me the pics. It's a little better than a catamaran." Eunsoo commented after a chuckle, reaching out for her phone to show you the pics. "Jeno said there's a big outside area."
"Very suitable for the season." You smirked. 
"Well, it's still pretty warm, I think a lot of padding will save us. And a big enough inside area for dancing, food and other fun things."
"Fun things like what?" 
"Games, I don't know, quiz, whatever comes into his mind. Jeno actually isn't that good with stuff like that so I'm wondering a little what all of this going to look like." she showed you a picture of a massive looking tourist boat, yacht, ship? You couldn't really work out what was the right name for that. "Okay, it's not really a catamaran like. I'll take my words back." You smiled honestly impressed. "Wait, how many people are coming? This feels like an expensive thing to rent."
"Jeno's dad is a best friend to the owner of the company that owns those boats. He's paying almost nothing, so we're lucky for a friend like Jeno." she beamed. 
"We-, sure." You couldn't hold back a laugh. You weren't sure you ever had even a simple conversation with Jeno before. 
"What?" Eunsoo chewed on her cheek probably finally realising she was smiling all the time she was tlaking about Jeno. Not sus at all, you swallowed. 
"You do realise I most likely know none of those people invited except for you and Sua and Aeri."
"You know Haechan."
"I'm definitely far from knowing him." you rolled both your eyes at her words. Even if you thought before you did, it's all gone now. 
"Well, you two were off to a good start, before... today, you know." She scratched her brow, suddenly getting off your bed. "Ugh, I'm gonna heat up some rice and fry an egg. You want some?"
"Yes please, thank you." You smiled, watching Eunsoo fade behind the door. 
Off to a good start, you thought to yourself and almost pulled the hair from your head. 
-
You had a feeling you should not go. You could name a whole damn list of reasons you should just not attend the party stay at home and watch a movie, read a book, listen to a podcast - the list literally goes on, but there were 2 reasons that were strong enough to influence you to come:
1. You would not allow Haechan to think you skipped the party because you were mad at him;
2. It turned out you were pretty weak when it came to resisting Haechan, you couldn't allow yourself to be in bed for the evening, thinking and wondering if Haechan was there, what was he wearing, what did he smell like today and if he would see you would he let the two of you fall back to complete strangers or make a move? 
That's why currently you were standing next to Eunsoo in an elevator that was taking you downstairs. A maxi dress with fitted silhouette in mesh with long sleeves, gathered waist, mock neck and all over pattern in dark dusty blue color hugged your body. You didn't really want to dress all out but the dress was giving warm and secured so you just put it on, getting approving nods from the girl next to you. 
"I am not letting you come back home without securing Jeno, like I'm being completely serious right now. I don't understand why he's acting like he's blind. If he's not going to drool over you tonight I'm going to punch some sence into him." you giggled "I'm so tired of watching you two beating around the bush." 
"We're not!" Eunsoo protested on her way out of the elevator. 
"I'm sure he wanted me there so I'd be your wingman." 
"Shut up, for real." Eunsoo rolled her eyes at you. 
You quickly got into the taxi that awaited the two of you in front of the building. Soon enough you were on the little ladder that connected pier and the boat. A man helped everyone get safely inside of the boat, you guessed it was the captain. As soon as you entered, violet neon light cut your eyes a little as the blackness of the outside contrasted with lighting much. Jeno stood right at the entrance beaming a smile at everyone that entered. 
"Welcome to the Jeno boat, we're about to take you on the best ride in your life." Jeno's eyes immediately glued to Eunsoo, not giving a single glance to you.
"I hope the best boat ride in my life will not end up the way your last party ended." You had to swallow to prevent yourself from laughing. Spotting a bar and Sua right next to it, you didn't even need to excuse yourself, you walked away unnoticed by the two, booing Sua as she reached for the drink placed in front of her by the bartender. 
"Boo!" you exclaimed, placing your palm on the girls waist.
"Damn!" She exclaimed first annoyed as her drink almost spilled, turning around to probably swear at you, before she processed it was you, her friend. Sua's eyes ran all over your outfit, her tone completely changing. "Damn girl!" She giggled, placing the drink back at the bar table, reaching out for your palm to twirl you in front of her. You twirled like she wanted you to and made a cute pose as a killing point. "What a pretty dress and what a pretty girl. Want to hook up?" Sua shouted to be louder than the music playing with her brows as she leaned into you, with a voice that she probably considered flirtatious but was just giving away it wasn't her first drink of the night. 
"What you're having?" you peeked at the drink behind the girl.
"A Pina colada. This one's actually one of the best ones on the menu. I've tried a few other cocktails."
"Off to a great start." You giggled, ordering the same drink. 
"Oh." Sua made a sound staring at the entrance and you almost asked her what was up but you heard the loudest scream and giggles after and by all those noises it was impossible for you to not acknowledge Haechan's presence. You considered turning around and checking out his appearance but you weren't still done proseccing his total black outfit from weeks ago and seeing whatever he was wearing now would probably make you weak in the knees. 
The bartender handed you your Pina colada, you taking a sip of the drink immediately. 
"It does taste good." You gasped at Sua that was finishing off her glass by now. 
"See, I told you it's good. Like, really good, I'm impressed." She giggled and took a look at the bartender "Two more, please." The girl probably caught your shocked stare "for you and me." She added. 
"Thank you. Want to take a walk outside?" You smiled, you didn't want to turn around and find Haechan somewhere behind you. You wanted to exit the same area he was in and prepare yourself to actually face him. In addition, you did come there to hang out with your friends and specifically give the boy zero attention. You were trying to keep things as they were planned. You had a little bit of an anxious break down because you had a gut feeling once you turn around you'll get caught by him and he'll tease you till your very last day on earth.  
"Yeah, sure. More people coming in. I think, everyone by now must be here." Sua stated, making you turn around quickly, seeing no one in a span of a second. Still you spotted there was indeed more people than before. "Oh, I spotted Aeri." She jumped in place excited, waving at the girl that most definitely couldn't see her yet. "Wait here and get our drinks. I'm going to bring Aeri here." You gave Sua a nod as she took off. 
The bartender placed both full glasses in front of you in a minute and as more people were gathering around the bar it was harder to stay there and keep your drinks safe. You could feel the boat start moving in a bit and  to confirm your assumption you heard a wild noise coming from Jeno. A very loud 'let's go' that was perfectly heard by you even through the music. You had to turn around because it was too much of a temptation to see what mess he was up to. Well, for now, the mess weren't really there, he scooped his closest friends around him, taking all of them at once to the bar. You had to be blind to not see Haechan under Jeno's right arm. He had to bent his back a little to fit in. As he was smiling widely, showing off his perfectly white teeth, eyes disappearing in pure joy. His hair seemed a little messy, like he didn't style it at all, got out of the shower and let them dry naturally. You had a feeling if you'd touch his hair you'd be able to tell if he blow dried them or not. Haechan wore a graphic t-shirt with a zip up black hoodie and a leather jacket. Skinny black jeans that he wore showed off his skinny built, finishing off the look with his casual white trainers. You had to force yourself to blink to not look crazy. 
The boys were chatting and as the tone of their voices got seemingly lower you couldn't even guess what they were saying. Haechan freed himself of Jeno's hold, reaching for the menu on the other side of the bar. You turned away, watching Sua and Aeri approach you. 
"Hey." Aeri reached out to hug you. "I see that freaky company is already starting their madness." she rolled her eyes. 
"If Jeno's here, where's Eunsoo?" you asked, sincerely curios. You weren't able to see Eunsoo from where you were standing. 
"She's at the entrance with a girl that took economics with her. Apparently they've got some serious business discussion." Aeri pointed with her hands where you guessed she last saw your mutual friend. 
"Okay." you gave her a nod, trying really hard to not stare to the side all the noise was coming from. The whole place was pretty chill, Jeno's friends or most likely acquaintances filled up the improvised dance floor. There was maybe 50 people, probably even more. You couldn't imagine Jeno knowing all of them. You never saw like 90% of these people before, you wondered if every friend brought a friend and a long chain of people showed up here without knowing who people surrounding them were. 
You wondered if Haechan brought anyone too to fill up the cost of the trip or what if he really did bring someone because they were his friend, because they were close and he wanted to see them here? You were jealous because you obviously weren't one of the people he wanted to see here. 
When Aeri finally got her drink from the bartender that was finally freed from Jeno's besties order, Sua, Aeri and you walked outside, greeted by the breezy wind. Thankfully, lots of blankets were piled up on one of the stools, the three of you immediately covering yourself in multiple layers of those. 
"There's even comfortable outside seating." You exclaimed, quickly moving your limbs over to the leather couch with multiple pillows. "I wonder if those pillows were ever at risk of being thrown away into the sea." you chuckled, making yourself comfortable and making room for your friends. 
"I bet these are sewed onto this." Sua dropped herself next to you, pulling onto the pillow. 
"Wow they are indeed sewed into this couch." You giggled like it was insanely funny to you. It really wasn't, just the 2nd Pina colada on an empty stomach was making your head spin a little. 
"It's making me sick a little." Aeri stared into the water that foamed from under the motor. "If you look for too long its kinda starting to make you sick."  
"Don't look." Sua laughed, pulling onto Aeris hand. 
"Fine." the girl turned to look at the two of you hidden under the blankets, fingers peeking from under them to hold onto Pina coladas. "Were you able to take a glance at all the guests? Any interesting faces?"
"I couldn't see anyone besides Jeno that greeted Eunsoo and I. More like he greeted her and then he got tunnel vision and I ran away to Sua. That's it. I know nobody here except for Jeno's circle. "
"I heard Jeno's bestie Jaemin brought his girlfriend for the first time to meet his boys." Sua cleared her throat before speaking. 
"Sweet." Aeri cooed in unison with you. 
"People are saying Jeno threw the party so his friend could confess feelings to someone."
"Who? Jaemin to that girl?" 
"I guess." Aeri shrugged. 
"Look! The moon!" Sua pointed at the sky, making you jump in your sit with the unexpected loudness. 
"It looks like a full moon." Aeri commented. 
"It's not. It's waning moon, full moon was yesterday."
"Hi Mr.Moon." you giggled, stretching out a hand from the blanket to wave at the sky. 
"Hi." Both Aeri and Sua sang. 
"Are you three talking to the moon?" Eunsoo forced the three of you turn around to the entrance door. "How many drinks each of you had?" She laughed, walking up to you. 
"Not that many." Aeri protested, more on her behalf than yours and definitely not Sua's. 
"You three should come back inside, it's warmer there and they're about to play your favorite song, Aeri."
"What?" Aeri exclaimed like she was cut deeply. "And I'm here staring at the water bubbles battling my wish to throw up?" The girl laughed and stood up immediately. "Sua?" the girl suggested. 
"I'm kinda having fun right here." Sua smiled like a Cheshire cat. 
"Come on, I thought you two would be right in the center of that dancing pit setting the whole party up." Eunsoo pulled onto Sua's hand making the girl stand up too. Sua placed her half empty glass on something plasticy that seemed like a great storing surface at first. Aeri linked her arm with Sua's, taking the girl back inside in pure silence
"I'm kinda offended." You giggled, looking at Eunsoo that took Sua's place. "Did you not expect me to pump up the party?" 
"I did!" Your friend protested weakly. "I actually wanted to tell you something."
"Does this have to do anything with Jeno?" You perked up your ears, gossip was one of the things that made you dead excited. You sipped onto the Pina colada that you tried really hard to not finish off. 
"Yeah, kinda." Eunsoo smiled shyly. "Wait, I didn't even have a single drink yet, I'll go get myself one before we talk." 
"Sure." you giggled " i'll be right here." Eunsoo nodded with a giggle. "get me one too, please." you shouted as the girl was reaching the door, making sure she did actually hear you. 
You closed your eyes for a second, focusing your hearing on the loud music blasting inside. It was really loud and tempting, you did want to come back there and have fun with your friends as soon as Eunsoo spills her secrets. It took her a little longer than you expected to return to you and by the time it felt like it was maybe 10 minutes since she left you started to doubt if she'd even return to you at all. It kinda felt nice, the more you drank the less you were worried about Haechan, so you downed the drink in your hand to take the one Sua left behind.
Finally, you heard the door open once again and the lonely steps signalled that it must be Eunsoo. You opened your eyes only when by your calculations she was about to stand right next to you, ready to reach out your hand for the drink when your smile faded completely as your vision worked out the person in front of you. 
Haechan was still smiling at you despite your face dropping completely. There wasn't a chance he couldn't read the room, not  understand that you didn't want him here or you dreaded breathing the same air as him. That's the main reason you were spending your time here, outside. 
"Can I sit?"
"No." you replied firmly, looking away. Your eyes focused on the inside of your glass as you took a sip. 
"Please?" 
"No." you stated once again, challenging him with a stare. 
"I-ugh, I'm sorry, I'm going to disobey." Haechan scrunched his nose, taking a little glance around and sitting down. 
"I'm waiting for my friends!" you protested, moving your body into the farthest corner from where Harchan seated himself. 
"Okay, I'm just going to sit here wait for your friends with you."
"I don't want your company." 
"I know." Haechan reached out his hand to you palm up. You didn't understand if he expected you to hold it or what was the intention of the gesture, but you ignored it. "You look very pretty tonight, if you don't mind me saying. I wish you didn't have to hide here because of me." your head snapped in his direction. You were so exasperated it took you a good second to start talking. 
"I'm not hiding here. Not from you or because of you, of all people." you tried really hard to sound scandalised, to not sound like you were exposed and hurt and very much curios why did he come here and where he wanted to take this. 
 "Good, because it kinda felt like it-"
"It's not." You didn't let him finish his nonsense. 
"Okay. I know you're mad at me, it's obvious. I did screw you up skipping our presentation day." Your eyes glued to Haechan's side while his attention was glued to his own fingers. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." Haechan moved his eyes to your face, catching you off guard. 
"Okay." you gulped before replying. 
"I'm really thankful you got me an A even though I made you all stressed out like that." Haechan lowered his voice, teasing his lower lip between his teeth. 
"Okay." you nodded quietly not being able to tell him how careless he was and all the things you were practicing because you most definitely was one step away from voicing to him your desires and smashing your lips against his, with the way his teeth were teasing that lower lip. 
"Come on, talk to me." The hand that reached out for you before now was gripping carefully onto your knee for attention "If I'm not seeing things that aren't there..." he paused probably picking out words to say, your heart went on pause too. "I probably made you hella confused, I'm so sorry. Whatever I made you think is right." you couldn't find words to talk back so Hyuck continued after a pause "See? I'm trying hard to get over my pride and say I'm sorry. Can't you do the same for me?" Haechan's fingers flexed on your knee. 
"I don't have to be sorry for anything." you pressed "If you wanted to say that I was right when I felt like you couldn't care less about me and I wasn't one bit someone worth at least noticing of your plans in advance then thank you for confirmation, I guessed that by now without your help." You tried to shake away his hand off your body. You were feeling a little too warm under his touch. 
"I didnt mean that you need to say sorry to me, only the pride part. You really don't want to make it easier for me, aren't you?" 
"I don't know what you're talking about." You moved your body more against the back rest, crossing your arms over your chest, your drink close to your mouth. The pineapple smell made you thirsty, you took a sip. If Eunsoo ever planned on coming back it's better she returned with a whole damn tray of drinks with the time it took her, you thought. 
Haechans finger still rested over your knee like they were meant to be there. It made you mad a little, that you didn't force him to put it away immediately and now the Haechan fever was spreading over your body. 
You reached out a hand, peeling each of his fingers off your knee. Haechan's fingers were freezing, if you weren't mad you would've suggested him a blanket. As soon as he gave in and allowed you to take his hand in yours you reached to take it back to his lap. You wanted to let go as soon as you reached his lap and hide behind the blanket but instead you were caught in claws formed by Hyucks fingers. He forced your palm to rest against his lower stomach, not letting you to win the battle the two of you suddenly had. 
"Let go." You tried to sound threatening. 
"Not until you're forgiving me."
"Then you'll have to freeze to death and I'll watch you drown in the ocean, Jack." you smarted.
"It's a river, Rose." he cackled, always being ready for a comeback. 
"Shut up, I know." You tried to pull your hand out of his hold as it felt like he loosened his grip, but as soon as he could feel you move his hand pressed yours back against his stomach. 
Your other hand still held onto the glass and you downed whatever was in there to free your hand. 
"I know you know." Haechan smiled warmly at you. You looked at him a little confused, was it the Pina colada or the way his fingers were gripping onto yours? "Are you done with your drink?" the boys finger pointed at the empty glass in your hand. "I'll take it, okay?" Reaching out the next moment to take the glass from you. 
You watched Haechan place the glass back to where Sua stored it before. He moved slowly, like he had all the time in the world. You wondered if anyone will eventually walk out that door to have a smoke break or if Jeno will look for Haechan to set you free. Or Sua, or Aeri, or literally anyone. You still had a little hope Eunsoo will remember she wanted to share her news with you and return. 
You were buzzing a little inside if you were honest to yourself. Haechan did find you himself, he did say he's sorry, he did hold your hand like he wanted for you two to be closer. Still, he didn't really say anything besides he was sorry. It wasn't enough for you to get your guard down, to let him play you like he wanted to. 
"You can let go of my hand, it's not like I'm going to run away from here anyway." you said calmly. You had that warm aura under the blanket, it was pitch black outside but the lights from the inside were making the dim light come through to where the two of you were sitted. Same for the music, you could still hear pretty clearly the muffled sound coming from the inside. It made you reminisce a little about that time Haechan took you out. You moved your eyes onto his face features. Haechan's face softened too as he saw you relax more. You wondered if he thought of that time too, how he rested his head on your lap and made you run your fingers through his hair. If he'd ask you to do that now, you wouldn't mind agreeing. 
"Promise?" You gave him a slight nod. "I want us to go back what we had." 
"I-" your face dropped a little as the words left his mouth, he clearly felt that as his face expression mirrored yours. He was putting effort for you to allow him the sex he talked about. "I'm not going to sleep with you." you pulled your hand out of his grip, finally. 
"I mean to what we had for the last couple of weeks. When we were partners in the project and friends." Your head snapped back in Haechan's direction. "I mean it. I want to be your friend." you blinked at him wordlessly. You felt a little too warm under all those blankets while Haechans ears were seemingly turning pink from the cold outside. You reached out to him with no sound at all, lifting up his palm the moment he realised you were reaching out to him. You ignored the gesture once again, moving up to feel the temperature of his nose and ears with the back of your hand. 
"You're freezing. You'll get sick." you half whispered, taking all those blankets off your body. As you sat straight and gathered all the blankets left behind by girls you had to get on your knees on the couch as the dress you were wearing was way too narrow on the legs and didn't allow you to move however you wanted to. "I can share a blanket with a friend." you added quitly, bitting onto your lips afterwards as you busied yourself with covering Haechan who you could tell with your side vision bit into his cheek, staring at you intently. 
"Honestly..." Haechan brought your attention to his lips, while your hands reached to his chest with a blanket "You look very pretty tonight..." You pressed your palms against Haechan's chest when you felt his palm very up your thigh, you could feel his fingers tight on your bum. Your heart hitched,  you needed immediate medical help but all you got is Haechan’s tightened grip as he felt your body lose balance and give in to him a little "Like, saying this as a friend, very pretty." he added, moving his hand up onto your waist to prove to you it was a friendly gesture indeed. Like he was just trying to help you keep your balance.
"Thank you." you gulped, reaching out to put one more blanket over the boys body, when you felt a little like giving in. It didn't really have to be all the way him, you felt like you had to give him something too. You couldn't really process your own thoughts let alone processing whatever was happening between you two. You sat back down onto your knees next to Haechan, smoothing out the blanket like a caring person over a sick someone. Haechan watched you intently, it almost felt like he could see the thought process inside you, not moving and giving you all the time you needed. You leaned in to him slowly, Haechan's hand sliding up your back the closer you got to him. Your eyes ran over his features, he was as attractive as you could remember him being that day you felt for the first time that he can be attractive. You thought back for a second and wondered if that day even was the first time you thought about him in that way. 
You moved one of the hands that supported you from Haechan's chest onto his cheek. You really wanted to caress his cheek like that since that time he rested his head on your lap. You ran the fingers up the skin and it felt even softer than what you imagined. Haechan smiled under your touch, sincerely, you could feel that because you just witnessed him being sincerely happy with his friends. You were feeling overwhelmed with the fact he was right under you, open to anything you would suggest and do. He never felt more real and sincere than now even though he wasn't saying anything at all. You could feel your ears burn with everything you felt for Lee Haechan. His hand that now rested at the back of your neck didn't give you any pressure at all. It felt like it was there just in case you were about to dissappear and he'd catch you. 
You pecked the corner of his lips quicker than he would be able to process it, quicker than you were able to process it yourself. Haechan's head moved in your direction as you were pulling away, he tried to catch your lips with his but you paced away and he let you move as far as you wanted to. 
"I want more." He whined, moving his other hand onto your waist.
"As a friend?" you mused, feeling his hand crawl from the back of your neck to grip onto your face. 
"Yeah, as a friend." he smiled even more, his palm now pulling you closer to him. You gave in kissing the other corner of Haechan's mouth. His eyes closed, letting you know he liked it. You smiled to yourself, you've seen Haechan at the peak of pleasure numerous times but somehow the face expression he made now made you the happiest. You pecked his jaw, peppering more confident kisses all the way down his neck, Haechan's fingers still holding onto your face in the process. 
"Straddle me." he groaned, as you raised your head to wet your lips.
"My dress's too tight, I can't." your pointing finger touched his neck softly where the lipstick stain was visible, Haechan's skin reacted to the touch, sending chills to the back of his neck.  
"Why'd you wear something like that..." Haechan looked you in the eyes. "Always trying to make things harder for me, even with the clothes you wear. Right, baby?" you held back a gasp the very last moment before it escaped your throat. It must've looked terrifying from Haechan's perspective, your face expression, like you were about to pass out just at the sudden pet name once again. You froze a little because it was hard for you to process the next steps. Haechan on the other hand moved under you, freeing his body of all those blankets you carefully placed on his body not that long ago. His legs spread more and you sat back on your heels to not get in his way and watched what he was up to. He pulled himself more against the backrest, trying to pull the pillow behind him to the side and making you giggle. 
"These are sewed on this."
"Shit." Haechan swallowed a laugh, suddenly grabbing onto your thighs to guide you next to him on the other side of his body. His hand guarded your neck from the uncomfortable pillow-less side of the couch, comfortably wrapping around your body. His other hand guided your legs over his thigh and covered the both of you with the blankets. You kept your body a little distanced from Haechan, at least it's upper part. It only felt comfortable to rest your head on his chest, so you did that, making the both of you closer than before. Haechan slid his hand down to hug your waist and both your hands locked round his neck. It felt a bit surreal if you were to think about it, you were volunteerely snuggling with Lee Haechan of all people, at a party. 
Haechan was finally done with piling back onto you all those blankets, creeping up a hand onto your cheek. It quite literally felt like a fever dream. Feeling Haechan's fingers on your freezing skin, while staring into your eyes so sweetly and deeply. Your heart skipped a bit when he licked his lips suddenly, making it feel like he'd lean in and kiss you now. He didn't, though, and it really felt like a teasing contest and despite both contestants very clearly dying to touch each other's lips and get lost in each other, they held back with the very last strings of sanity and didn't want to lose that competition. Haechan's fingers ran through your cheek consistently, you would've purred if he'd kiss you in reward. 
"I feel dizzy." Haechan commented, breaking the silence between you two. Dear lord, if only the boy knew how dizzy you felt from keeping yourself composed. 
"Are you sea sick? Did you have too many drinks?" you blabbered. It was a little too clear he didn't feel actually sick. 
"No I'm dizzy because of you." He voiced out what you were feeling, you were so overwhelmed with his presence and his warmth and the fact he smelled so good and so... dear to your heart, your fingers pulled his neck more against your face. Haechan moved more, getting his lips against your cheek. 
"I need you to know, I like you so much." his lips pressed against your cheek as he said it, making his nose press against you aswell. You felt like he entirely pushed you more against his body. You needed medical help, immediately. Your heart wasn't used to this sort of emotions. 
"Shut up." you shot back immediately to hide the gasp that exceeded you, instead of a thought thrugh answer. You didn't expect him to be so blatant after all the pining you've put yourself through, you would've never guessed he'd say something like that. But then again, you were constantly proven you can never know what will be Haechan's next move. 
"I'm serious." he pressed and forced your eyes to find his. 
"How much did you have to drink?" you tried to back out. It was so terribly difficult for you to jump over the metaphorical wall so suddenly, let him know verbally that everything he felt was mutual. Surprisingly you turned out to be more stubborn in that sence than Haechan himself. 
"I didn't have a single drink, which I know is not in any way relatable to you. Still, I'm not able to get your guard completely down and have your heart open for me." Your eyes ran down his neck and chest. 
"It is, open." you mumbled. "I... you can clearly tell everything is the same for me? Don't make me struggle." Your fingers played with the fabric of his shirt on the shoulder, while your brain fought back and didn't let you say you liked Haechan even more than he could've imagined. 
"Look me in the eyes, at least." He whispered and your eyes moved back to his face but were unable to focus on them. Haechan moved his head towards you at the same time and the second you caught up with his actions you felt his lips on yours. 
Something between a moan and a cry exceeded your mouth. Your hands gripped immediately onto his neck with force, even if Haechan intended on keeping the kiss sweet and slow he quickly scratched those intentions when he could feel how badly you needed him. 
He felt just like that last kiss that lingered on your lips for weeks. You loved his lips like that, warm, plump and all yours. He clearly was more than ready to speed up the pace and once it was clear the two of you were on the same page, Haechan deepend the kiss. He sucked on your lower lip, slowly turning you onto your back. He clearly forgot about your dress situation, trying to place himself between your legs. 
Haechan's hand carefully held the back of your head to not hurt you from the solid armrests of the couch. Your tongues started a battle that was impossible to win. Haechan's other hand firmly gripped onto your waist, while his leg finally was able to get between yours. You almost found it in you to worry about the dress getting ruined and stretched out but you felt Haechan's mouth leave yours and the sudden breath of fresh air made yourself even more dizzy than before. You lost all the thoughts in your brain. 
Your fingers ran through the boys hair, brushing the strands back and making a whole mess in place of his hairstyle. Haechan leaned back to peck your lips, then lowering his lips to your neck. You tightened your fingers in his locks, forcing a purr from his throat, that happend to land on your neck. Your hips moved against his thigh unconsciously, making yourself heated in a whole different way. 
"Haechan." you half moaned. His tongue played with the skin of your neck, drawing tiny lines and sucking it in with his lips. As his chin moved the fabric of the dress lower down your skin, Haechan's licks and sucks became more aggressive, in addition with little bites you could feel him suck in a hickey at the base of your neck.
Your center rubbed against his thigh unconsciously, while you were shivering under his touch, creating friction for Haechan as well.
"This is just a little reminder in case you're black out drunk and won't remember what boundaries we overstepped." he pecked the skin that must've been red and moved his face back in front of yours.
"I am not." you smiled at him and let go of his hair to hold his cheeks between your hands. They felt so soft, so velvety, and the way you squeezed them between your palms made him look like the softest person ever. 
"Then it's for me to know it wasn't just a fever dream." You smiled at him even wider, pulling his head closer and pecking his lips. Haechan kissed you back slowly, rubbing his body against yours in a very lazy manner. His mouth left yours, hiding his face against your neck, closer to your ear and nibbling on the skin there. It felt so good to have his body weight pressing you down that outside couch. You couldn't care less if someone was about to come outside, even if they did you wouldn't be able to move yourself an inch away from Haechan's body. Your only regret was that neither of you had magical powers so you'd be able to move to your bedroom this very moment and be able to have each other for the rest of the night. 
"Kiss me more." you whispered needy. Even you were dreading the clothing choice by now, you needed his touch, you needed the feeling of his skin on yours, anything that would make you a little more closer to him would do.
You were starting to get greedy, only recently you thought you'd die just from the kissing and now you needed more and more.  
Haechan raised his head and smashed his lips against yours, smirking for a slight second beforehand. 
"So needy for my kisses and just a week ago you acted like you never wanted to kiss me." he mumbled into your mouth. 
Haechan's body grinded against yours with full force now and you couldn't possibly ignore him getting hard on top of you. You definitely weren't about to have sex on the outside terrace of the boat and you hoped  he didn't think of that either. You had to find power in you to stop before it got painful for him. 
"Haechan-ah." you moved your head back only to be followed and caught with his lips once again. "Baby?" you placed your palms on his chest, pushing the boy away. You tried the pet name to get his attention and it clearly worked. Your own heart did a flip, you couldn't imagine what he felt, you definitely smashed a few layers of bricks on your metaphorical wall with a cannonball "Don't you think we need to slow down?" you asked softly, directing your eyes between your bodies. You felt like Haechan's cock twitched in his pants. 
"Right." he cleared his throat and pushed his weight off your body, extending his arms to keep the distance. He stared at you for a good second, leaning back to peck you quickly. "I do need to cool down a little." you gave him a nod and watched him get up with a smile. You sat back on the couch, Haechan making himself comfortable right next to you. His pants did look terribly uncomfortable on him now, you noticed and you were hoping the cool wind would help him calm down quickly because it wasn't like you wanted to give him a blowjob in the middle of a party. Or more like maybe you did, but not right here in a public setting and besides that you wouldn't let him know even that you had the thought, he'd get even more excited than before. 
"I'm sorry, I should've pulled you off me the moment I felt you." You moved closer and rested your chin on his shoulder. "Do you need a blanket?" you asked, Haechan's head turning in response and getting too close to you to resist to kiss him. Before he could answer you closed that centimetre between you and pecked his lips quickly. 
"No, I need the calm down, don't kiss me." he grunted in a cute way. 
"It's just a peck." you tried to hold back a smile. 
"It's your needy stare and your lips on mine and everything else and I don't think I'm going to calm down while you're here."
"So you're excited just by presence?" you teased. 
"Very much." He replied coolly. 
"I'm never eating sugar again."
"Why?" he furrowed his eyebrows confused. 
"Sugar combined with the new side of your personality will probably give me diabetes." you smiled at him expectantly, Haechan giggled, hiding his face in his palms. 
"You're so stupid." he shook his head in his hands. "You're very lucky I'm blinded by love otherwise I would've booed you."
"It was a good joke." you mumbled, trying really hard to act nonchalantly at his words. Blinded by love, was he about to say he loved you right on that couch too? You were feeling sick to your stomach. 
It got quiet between you two once again, you wondered what he thought of to calm himself down. You were just enjoying the comfortable silence right next to the boy you liked. 
You sneaked your hand in the space between his arm and his thigh, facing it upward and extending your arm further, for Haechan to properly see it in his lap and be able to interact with it. You rested your cheek against his shoulder once again. 
You were very much thankful for the cool breeze outside because your palm was currently sweating and the nerversness was crawling up your throat. You hoped the gesture was clear enough for him to act on it, but you closed your eyes in case of failure. Haechan shuffled under you and you opened your eyes to see what he was doing, and he was looking at you, bending his neck given your current position. 
Once he saw you look back at him his head turned back to look down his lap, where your hand was. You couldn't feel how you started to bite your lip in nervousness but you could very clearly feel Haechan's freezing cold palm land on yours. You opened your fingers and as he did the same, you interwind your palms. His grip was tight around your fingers and you did the same, letting him know you were serious about it. Haechan forced your hands up and to his lips, kissing the back of your palm. You wrinkled your face in relieve, even though it seemed more like you were in pain, and kissed his shoulder. 
He then proceeded to fall back against the backrest and you did the same, hands still in each other's hold. You sat hand in hand for a little while, feeling so good next to him without any excessive intimacy. You couldn't remember when or how both of you started kissing again. The kiss wasn't as passionate as before, the both of you filled that longing and now both your brains knew it ain't going to be the same as before, you won't have to hold back your feelings. You kissed steadily, Haechan's thumb slowly caressing your palm in his hold. 
"We should go back." you mumbled through the kiss. "Your friends and my friends must be looking for us."
"They clearly aren't." he giggled. You smiled and couldn't agree more. You probably spent outside at least two hours, in which there was no signs of Eunsoo, the girl that promised to get you a drink. 
"What if someone walks in on us being too explicit?" 
"No one will, besides, i don't think we're in any way explicit by now."
"How'd you know? The doors are open. You're just lying to me, right?" 
"No, Jeno keeps everyone occupied."
"You're lying?"
"I'm being serious, I'm not going to lie to you anymore."
"So you'll tell me why you skipped our presentation?" you voiced out the question you wanted to ask him for a while now. 
"I-" he sighed like he was suddenly tired "Can I not?" he asked softly. 
"No, you really hurt me. If we want to go further, I want to know why." 
"It was the trial day for that stupid case. I totally forgot about it because I was with you all the time but Jeno texted me if I'm going to be on time the next day and I was so confused." Haechan trailed off, looking into the water, like he didn't want to tell you the bad news and you blinked multiple times to not get yourself worked up. 
"What were you sentenced to?" You asked concerned but moreover scared. You were so scared it'd be something bad it'll break your heart.
"My case was closed for lack of evidence." You sighed loudly, not even trying to hide from him you were relieved. "I didn’t steal anything and I was clean because I was with you when they were doing shit..." Haechan looked you in the eyes again, squeezing your palm. "Its thanks to you I am here today with no probation period or some other shit. They made me come as a witness, but I don't really know anything and even if I did I would've never said a thing." 
"I'm so glad you're fine." you let him know. 
"I know. I should really stay next to you to stay out of trouble." you smirked and then giggled and hid your face in the crook of his neck next. Haechan stared at you teasingly and you couldn't resist running away from those eyes. 
"Okay, maybe we should come back inside." you gave him a nod against his skin. "Can we stay close to each other for the rest of the night?" 
"I have to see my friends too tho." you rose your head up to see him.
"And tell them all about me?" he smirked and you couldn't stop thinking how attractive he looked that very moment. 
"No, Sua doesn't really like you. I have to prepare her before saying anything" You came up with the mildest version you could at the spot. You didn't want to make him upset and tell him neither of them seemed to like the idea of Haechan right next to you and you weren't in the mental state yet to explain to them everything. Or explain anything to him, it felt perfectly enough for you to just have this little secret between you two. 
"But you do?" Haechan let go of your hand to enjoy your reply. 
"Shut up." you teased, forcing yourself to unglue from the boy and stend up. It's needless to say it was a difficult task to finish. 
Now that you could feel how breezy it was outside you wanted to just fall back into the warmth Haechan shared with you. You turned around checking out the boy that still sat on the couch, giving you a blank stare. 
"You're staying here?" 
"I'll follow behind." he smiled and watched you take a step away. 
"Okay." you gave him a nod and walked away further, turning away to properly walk inside. You were getting cold with how long it was taking you to walk back in. As your feet almost brought you inside you turned around with the door half opened. Watching Haechan get up and walk around the couch towards you. His eyes were set on his phone and he probably thought you were already inside, when you ran back to him, catching him off guard mid-way. 
"I need you to know too, that I like you a lot." you said in one breath, holding on to his waist. Haechan beamed a smile and you couldn't resist smiling back. His fingers quickly found your cheeks to hold you in place for a quick kiss before you finally turned around and walked back in, scanning the room for Sua, Eunsoo and Aeri. 
282 notes · View notes
lebrookestore · 3 months
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sixteen | l.dh [part ii]
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Pairing: Lee Donghyuck x reader
Themes: strangers to lovers, highschool! au, coming of age, lovers to exes, exes to lovers to ??, producer! donghyuck (very lightly explored), roommates! au but with a twist, second chance romance, slowburn, angst, fluff, romance, PG 15. (moodboards: i | ii)
Warnings: profanity, heavy ANGST, kissing, food, underage alcohol consumption and alcohol consumption in general, drug use, smoking (vaping, cigarettes and weed consumptions), crude humour, teenagers doing dumb shit as teenagers do, cheating, betrayal.
Word count: 21.6k
Summary: Youth is always accompanied with a fragile glimmer of hope, with you and Donghyuck viewing the world through the rosiest of glasses. But as the ephemeral days of teenage foolishness bleed into the harshness of adulthood, the rosy hue begins to diminish, and you learn that for some people, it just isn’t meant to be.
Playlist: here 
Notes from brooke: here it is!! the second and final part of this fic that has taken me a whole year to write and i'm as proud of it as I am nervous to put out the rest of it here for all of you. as always, feedback would be much appreciated<3
➳ read part i here!!
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vii] now.
The aroma of coffee beans being ground wafted through the air, somehow managing to brighten your foul mood. You had never been much of a morning person and could barely start your day without some form of caffeine in your system. On most days, you made your coffee at home before setting out to work, but today you wanted to treat yourself a little bit, and what better way than to put your money towards something practical? 
(This was a hundred percent your attempt at trying to convince yourself the overpriced eight dollar coffee you had just ordered was worth it.)
“Iced Latte for Y/n?”
You got up from the stool you had occupied, making your way over to the counter and barista who had called for you. In another life, you would be one of those cool working ladies who managed to down americanos without flinching, but in this one you were quite content with the milky sweet goodness of a latte. You handed over the money you owed and lifted the straw to your lips, sighing in happiness as soon as the drink hit your tastebuds. 
“Hey, I had placed my order…” A man's voice startled you, but it wasn’t the abruptness that caught you off guard- that was pretty typical for a busy Tuesday morning in New York- but rather the familiarity of it as it trailed off. You spun on your heel quickly, coming face to face with a rather dumbfounded looking Donghyuck. 
You stared at him, lips parting in surprise at his presence there. The barista behind cleared her throat expectantly, waiting for Donghyuck to reiterate his drink order.
He snapped out of the initial shock of seeing you at that. “Right, sorry. I had asked for a caramel frappe about ten minutes ago?” Of course he still had the same order from when you were teenagers, one that was much sweeter than yours. 
“Oh yes, it's ready. Sorry for the delay sir!” Her cheery voice rang out as she held out the drink.
You were still rooted to the spot in front of him.
He pressed his lips together, cocking his head to the side to silently motion towards the counter, signalling that you were currently in his way. “Uh.”
“Oh.” You stepped out of the line, feeling embarrassment quickly creep up upon you for your slowness right then. He grabbed his drink, and moved out of the way for the next person as well, stopping before you for a second, eyes lingering on your face as if trying to read your expression, gauging whether he should say something or not.
Terribly self conscious, you took another sip of the latte you held, though it did nothing to soothe your frayed nerves. He sighed softly, seemingly deciding that doing nothing was for the best, and walked away.
What were the odds of you running into him like this? You had banked on only having to see him when Yeonmi had him over, but now you realised that was incredibly naive of you, since run ins were bound to happen from time to time. It seemed that your naivety from your youth hadn’t quite run out yet.
Often, you thought about how you had been so quick to shut down his pleas to talk about things with you that one movie night, how defensive you had been from the get go. He had done his best to be cautious while approaching the topic, as if he had seen the mental caution tape you had wrapped around your heart when it came to him, but you had been so afraid.
Afraid that whatever explanation he provided you with wouldn’t be sufficient to heal the would he had inflicted. Afraid that if you even began to let him in, you’d forgive him immediately and feel pathetic about dismissing the part of you that was so angry at being left behind without so much as a goodbye. 
But as you watched him walk away and to the door of the cafe, you couldn’t help but wonder why you didn’t let him speak. 
Wasn’t closure something everyone wanted and deserved? You more than anyone knew this and maybe that's what you would have gotten if you hadn’t been so stubborn that night.
Your legs moved on their own, carrying you towards his departing figure. “Wait!”
He stilled, turning around slowly to make sure it was him you were talking to, which was a surprise in itself to him. You bit down on your lower lip, scrambling to find the words you needed to communicate with him. 
“Do you have a few minutes?”
His gaze softened the way it used to when it came to you and he nodded. “I can make time.”
You glanced down at your watch, grateful for actually having one sitting on your wrist. In truth, you had only bought it after noting how almost everyone in your workplace wore one. It didn’t seem professional to constantly be checking your phone for the time, but you did it anyway, leaving the watch to be just another accessory you donned. 
Right now, its utility made itself known. 8:00 am. “I have to be in office in an hour,” you informed him. “So I can’t stay long but….we can talk?” You mentally winced at how you ended what you had hoped to be a confident statement as a question. 
“I’d like that.”
The two of you made your way to a small table in the back, sitting opposite each other. You were grateful for the window on your left, which served as a good distraction from the man in front of you. Cars whizzed by on the busy NYC streets, painting the scene in a blur of reds and yellows against the grey concrete background. 
He tapped his fingers against the table periodically, the rhythm finally giving you the courage you needed to begin.
“You were right,” you said finally, desperately searching for the words to appropriately approach the topic at hand. “We do need to talk. I should have listened.”
“It’s okay, I should have approached it differently considering,” he paused, mulling over what he was about to say, not wanting to be insensitive but also not wanting to underplay the severity of what you felt. “Well, everything.” 
“It’s fine.”
Clearly, this was going nowhere and was getting increasingly more uncomfortable with every passing minute. You should have just let him leave instead of heeding to your intrusive thoughts and going after him, you should have watched him walk away and bit down your tongue in regret later on in the privacy of your room. 
It was as if he had sensed your trepidation and decided to put you out of your misery. “How are you?”
Small talk. Right. You could do that. 
“Good, good,” you had no idea why you said it twice. “Mostly just busy with work and you know, adulting. You?” 
“Pretty much the same, work.” He smiled softly at you, and you wondered how he somehow still made that feel like a reward for you, how something as simple as that could have a deceitful warmth bubbling in the pit of your stomach. “I have to get to the studio in a bit.”
“Studio?”
“I’m a music producer,” he clarified, and the conversation was almost too reminiscent of his date with Yeonmi, except a little more meaningful this time. A certain sense of shyness washed over him at telling you what he did for work, because although he was extremely proud of his job, your opinion of it mattered to him more than anyone else's ever could. 
“That's amazing! Do you like, get to meet famous people?” Your reaction was genuine, just as you had always been with him. You had once been the only person he thought believed in him. He could see the fraction of joy that sparked in your expression, truly happy on hearing this news.
He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, I do. There are a couple of them I regularly work with.” It wasn’t in his nature to brag, but the starstruck look that appeared in your eyes made it worth it for once. 
“Wow,” you mumbled, fiddling with the straw in your drink. “I just work in HR.” Your life felt awfully boring in comparison to him, but then again, that was a feeling you had made your peace with a long time ago. He had always been the more interesting, more magnetic person from the two of you- or perhaps from everyone in general. A stranger could take a look at him and know that he was made to walk a path different and more vibrant than most. 
An awkward silence settled after that, only succeeding in increasing your anxiety levels. Pleasantries were over, so where the hell were you supposed to go from there?
“I didn’t know Yeonmi was your roommate,” he said quietly, not looking at you. “I’m sorry for the position I’ve put you in, I promise you it wasn’t intentional.”
“I never thought it was,” you assured him. “I didn’t think it was you she was talking about either. This is just some sort of freak coincidence, I guess.” You hesitated for a moment, before deciding to not overthink anything having to do with the situation. There were so many questions left unanswered that you had no qualms with getting right to the point now that you could. “I don’t even care actually, I just want to know one thing.” 
The flippancy in your voice almost made him wince. “Anything.”
“Why did you do it?” 
And suddenly, Donghyuck felt as if he was back as his teenage self, staring at you through his younger self's perspective. He had been so unforgivingly impulsive at that age, and selfishly so, unable to put himself in anyone else's shoes. Of course, he had felt guilty for what he had done, to the point where he felt sick in the days that followed, but he had done it to protect himself from having to deal with your reaction to the news. News that had, back then, ruptured the little world of bliss he had cultivated with you by his side. 
How could he have explained anything back then anyway? He had always hidden that part of his life from you, the constant instability and fleeting nature that it possessed. Putting it together made it sound like a bad excuse, and you definitely did not deserve that.
 But he wasn’t an avoidant teenager anymore, and neither were you. What you deserved was the whole truth and nothing but that, and so he steeled himself, glancing at the clock on the wall behind you. 8:15 am. He didn’t really have much time, but he was going to do his best.
“I spent most of my childhood moving around from place to place. I think the longest I stayed in a town was two years at most, and for the longest time, I resented my mother for that.”
This was something you had waited for all your life, or at least, that was how you felt, and now you were finally going to get the explanation you had spent years trying to put together for a fickle sense of closure. Here you were, finally getting what you had spent birthday wishes and pennies down fountains for since you were sixteen, hoping and praying that it would happen for your sake. Here you were, getting it from your first love.
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It was three in the morning and though the caffeine from your coffee had long since worn off, you found yourself lying in your bed wide awake. It had been a few hours of tossing and turning underneath your sheets, trying to find a position comfortable enough to succumb to sleep but evidently, seeing that you were now staring at your ceiling in frustration, had been wholly unsuccessful.
You were going to need an extra large cup of coffee to curb your inevitable grumpiness the next morning. A sigh left your lips as you threw your covers off, sitting up in your bed and taking in your room in the darkness, hoping you would feel the heaviness set in on your eyelids. When that didn’t happen, you swung your legs over the side and landed on the wooden floors, slipping your feet into your house slippers and opening your door as quietly as possible.
A glass of water should put everything right and curb your restlessness. Your optimism was admirable, if not downright stupid. The cause of your current state was fairly obvious.
So there you were, now holding an empty glass. You had finished your water, and didn’t feel any better, not wanting to go back to bed in the slightest. 
Donghyuck rippled through your mind, and you shut your eyes, trying to block him out. The sight of those sad eyes of his as he explained what really happened all those years ago had been imprinted in your mind, and it had left you with nothing but contempt.
You despised the childish reasoning that consumed the entire explanation, the way it felt like everything that had happened and what you felt had been so trivial and completely avoidable if he had just spoken to you. Eight years, that was how long you had waited just for it to feel as if he had just rubbed salt in your wounds, and you hated every second of it.
What you hated most though, was the way you completely understood why he did it.
The more you thought about what he told you, you couldn’t help but empathise with him. Sure, you wouldn’t have done what he did if you were in his position, but that was the thing, wasn’t it? You had never been in his position, and it was clear that his younger years had been scattered all over the place.
How could he have known any better when he too was learning how to navigate his emotions at that age? He was a child and you couldn’t hold anything against a child now that you were an adult.
I’m sorry.
Suddenly, why those had been the last thing he ever said to you made sense. He knew what he was doing and did it anyway. The burn that you felt every time you thought about it hadn’t subsided.
Your younger self was angry at how things had turned out, pissed at being left in the dark even if you understood why. You wanted so badly to hate him for what he had done to you, but no matter how hard you tried to push yourself to do so, you just couldn’t. Instead, another emotion lied in the place you tried so hard to fill with hate, and it scared you even more.
He had hurt you to such a colossal extent, and yet that little flame inside of you refused to be put out, or even have the mercy to dim itself for your sake. It flickered back to life the moment you set eyes on him again and you knew this to be true by the effect he still had on you.
You never stopped loving Donghyuck. You only started hurting, and let the pessimistic degree of that feeling drown out everything else.
“I should have handled it better,” his frustration with himself was clear by the way he exhaled agitatedly. “I know I was a dick to you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. If I could go back and do it all again, I’d do it very differently, but I can’t.” He sounded pained, his sorrow cutting deep into your freshly reopened wounds and making you realise that he had hurt himself in the process of doing what he did. 
While you had been painstakingly stitching yourself back together after him, he had been doing the same, reaping what he had sown in your garden. He was as old as you had been, and emotions are often magnified in the melodrama of youth.
It didn’t feel like that magnification had dulled out though, the regret potent in his voice, matching your emotional state. 
“But if there's anything I can do now….I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”
You were drowning, sinking rapidly below the surface as the waves thrashed around you, unrelenting and ruthless. You gripped the cup in your hands, a warm pressure building behind your eyes, making you feel even more miserable than you already were. The realisation of your present feelings overwhelmed you, and you crumbled against the counter, letting yourself lean against the cupboards as you settled on the floor.
He’d do anything for you. He said it himself.
So then…would he…?
A choked sound escaped your throat- something that sounded like a cross between a bitter laugh and a sob. You were deplorable, truly, for even letting the thought cross your mind, but god.
Would he end things with Yeonmi for your sake?
The topic of your roommate hadn’t been brought up during your chat, the two of you skirting around the topic for all you were worth. It felt like taboo, and although it was probably something worth mentioning, you were glad you hadn’t needed to deal with it just yet. You held so much love for Yeonmi, but right then she seemed like more of an obstacle than anything else. 
But if she knew the truth and Donghyuck and you, wouldn’t she think the same? She had done nothing wrong, so you were the problem here. You were the obstacle you had never signed up to be.
The question sat heavy upon your tongue, and you so desperately wanted to ask it.
You couldn’t do that to your friend, you would never. She hadn’t been this happy with someone since her sorry excuse of an ex broke her spirit, and you couldn’t bear to be the one to take that away from her. You couldn’t, even if it meant that it broke you, because goddamnit you were still irrevocably in love with Lee Donghyuck.
And all you wanted to do was hate him. 
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viii] then.
Donghyuck’s room was much planer than yours, with just a clock hanging on one of its walls. A keyboard in one corner of the room and a guitar leaning against the side of his closet, you supposed that he hadn’t had much time to put too much thought into decorating just yet.
“You can put up posters of all those bands you keep talking about,” you suggested, running your fingers through his hair. You were sitting on his bed, leaning against the headboard with him lying in between your legs, looking up at you fondly 
Your boyfriend frowned lightly, “Too much effort.”
You rolled your eyes, “You’re just lazy. I can help you, you know. We could go print the posters after school.” Your enthusiasm was endearing, but he didn’t really see a point. Nevertheless, he didn’t have the heart to shoot your ideas down and nodded noncommittally, enjoying the feeling of you absent-mindedly massaging his scalp.
“Whatever you say, pretty girl,” he said lazily. A silence settled, and although it wasn’t uncomfortable by any means, he began humming a melody. 
You had heard him sing several times now, usually while he accompanied himself on guitar and his voice was just like the rest of him- captivating. It was gentle but still strong, his tone conveying the message and feel of any song he picked perfectly. He had once confessed that he would love to work in the music industry one day, no matter what the role was, but then brushed off the wish, saying that it was a shot in the dark. 
To counter this, you told him that if anyone could make it, it would be him. By no means did your words shake off his doubts or uncertainty, but you could tell that the faith you had in him helped him feel better. 
“What song is that?” You tilted your head, looking down at him. He shrugged. 
“It isn’t one, just a tune that came to me,” it was such a simple thing, and it still somehow earned him an impressed look from you, making him laugh. “It’s not a big deal.”
“You’re the coolest person I know.”
“You’re the dorkiest.”
“Hey! Dork-? Is this the shit I get for being nice to you?” You pouted, the offence heavily lacing your voice making him laugh, and to soothe your ruffled feathers, he dropped a chaste kiss to your lips. 
“A cute dork.” 
His mother was out, leaving the house empty save for the two of you. The privacy was nice, much better than your house for sure, where your mother was always hovering for some reason, even though you hadn’t told your parents about your new relationship just yet. She was overprotective, and while you were definitely going to tell them, you didn’t particularly want to deal with any outbursts just yet, wanting to savour the beginning of it all and keep that joy just for yourself.
As far as you knew, Donghyuck didn’t have a father, but he had never gotten into the details. He made sure to tell you that it wasn’t because it was hard to talk about, but because there wasn’t much to say about the man anyway, since he had never known him or even met him. 
You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to fake annoyance to the best of your abilities, but you weren’t and never had been immune to the butterflies he managed to set free in your stomach with that kiss, a smile slowly forming on your face. Your hands moved to his face, cupping it gently as you leaned closer.
“Sweet talk won’t get you anywhere.”
“Yeah?” His eyes sparkled with mischief, “What will then?”
“A proper kiss maybe,” you mused, matching his playfulness. He immediately took you up on your proposal, smiling into the kiss. 
You were glad his mom wasn’t around.
Neither of you had ever kissed anyone before, but somehow he was still very good at it, a single touch of his igniting a pleasant buzz on the surface of your skin. Everything you knew about kissing came from books and movies, but you could only hope you had the same effect he had on you.
If you only knew. It had been a few weeks since the two of you had started dating, and he had memorised everything he could about you he possibly could- the shape of your mouth and the slope of your nose, the crinkles around your eyes when you laughed and the sound of it, he knew it all like the back of his hand. It wasn’t hard to be with you, it came to him like second nature, and part of him was convinced that everytime his mother had moved them from place to place, it was to bring him here to this moment. 
To be lying in your embrace, tangled in your arms and the gentle, loving kisses you pressed to his mouth and forehead- this was the definition of bliss, and everything about it was so utterly ignorant. 
“You taste like sour patch candies,” you muttered softly, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. You had quickly grown addicted to Donghyuck, deciding right then and there that you wouldn’t trade this for anything in the entire world. 
“Mhm, I was eating them before you came over.” 
You chuckled. “You, sir, have a problem.”
“Drama queen, you’re exaggerating a little too much. I only had a few.” 
“You had an entire packet, didn’t you? No wonder it's so noticeable.” The light wash of crimson that appeared on his cheeks at being caught gave him away.
“It can’t possibly be that noticeable.”
“It wouldn’t be if you didn’t consume copious amounts of that candy.”
He simply kissed you again in retaliation, a consequence you could definitely live with and had no complaints about whatsoever. “Shut up, you know you secretly like it.”
You never had the chance to argue with that one, once again silenced by his lips against yours. He was undoubtedly right about that accusation, for you liked it almost too much. You liked everything about him too much, and for the first time you understood the typical giddiness that was portrayed in every teen movie you watched growing up.
Every school day was something to look forward to now, making it possible to spend almost every day with him. You sat on desks next to each other, sometimes listening to music together and trying not to get caught talking to each other. The teachers had definitely picked up on the fact that there was something between the two of you, considering the amount of disproving looks you had gotten sent your way for laughing a little too loud at the jokes he would crack under his breath. 
Holidays were spent with you trying to finish all your homework as quickly as possible so you could hang out with him or Sakura and Chenle, making it so that every single day was bright and exciting from the moment you awoke. 
“You have no proof of that,” you pointed out, sitting up straighter to be able to kiss him better, savouring the way his arm immediately slid around your waistline. He smirked, his hand slipped just under your t-shirt but staying at your waist, fingers tracing abstract shapes upon the expanse of your skin.
“You’re still kissing me, aren’t you?”
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The local playground was pretty deserted after eight on Sunday evenings, mothers having taken all their babies and toddlers back home for their nightly routine. Other highschool juniors or seniors didn’t really hang out there, opting to spend their time at the small skate park on the other end of town, which made it a perfect hangout spot for you and your friends.
Chenle slipped a cigarette pack out of the pocket of his designer hoodie, along with a bright red lighter. “Does anyone want one?”
Your reaction mirrored Sakura’s, who currently wore a frown. “Since when are you a smoker?”
“Johnny hyung taught me yesterday when he invited me to hang out with the seniors,” he filled you in, and you groaned, leaning into Donghyuck’s touch. He had an arm around your shoulders as the two of you occupied the bench swing, while Chenle and Sakura were sitting on the ends of the metal slides.
“Please don’t follow in his footsteps.” 
He lit one of the cigarettes, rolling his eyes. “Can you chill?”
“You do not have to smoke Chenle, you’re sixteen, not a wildly miserable forty year old  divorcee. You’re doing it just because you think it's cool and because Johnny does it.” Sakura shared your view of the senior, and as hospitable and lovely as he was, you didn’t particularly support his life choices.
“That is not true,” Chenle contested, and your other friend huffed. “Johnny is a great friend.”
You shook your head in disapproval. “He’s a bad influence.”
“He’s not! He’s really cool Y/n, I swear,” He waved his cigarette around, gesturing towards your boyfriend. “Right, Donghyuck?”
His admiration for the senior boy had only grown since the day of the party. To put it plainly, he thought the absolute world of the older boy, making an effort to spark a friendship. To say that he was overjoyed when Johnny started inviting him places was an understatement, if the excited call you got from him said anything. 
Donghyuck looked all too amused and nodded. “He is pretty cool.”
He got two scathing looks as a result, one from Sakura and an unimpressed stare from you, causing him to clear his throat, quickly following up. “But! That doesn’t mean you should follow his every move. You definitely shouldn’t smoke, smoking is bad.”
Now that he was back in your good graces, you kissed his cheek and looked at Chenle pointedly. “Please don’t end up like him.”
“I would love to end up like him.”
Jesus Christ. There was no saving him.
“With all the shit he pulls, he’s going to end up dead by twenty-five. Do you want to die?” He put the pack and lighter back in his pockets, brushing off Sakura’s grim statement. 
“One cigarette won’t kill me.” 
“Yes, but if you make smoking a habit and get addicted, it will eventually. Lung cancer is a thing, you know.” Your reminder was not taken kindly, and he groaned, taking a puff before dropping it to the ground and crushing it with his heel, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to smoke it in peace with you guys around anyway. 
“You are all so boring.” He whined, glaring at Donghyuck. “And you’re a hypocrite. Didn’t Johnny teach you how to smoke too?”
Having stayed a silent observer for most of this conversation, Donghyuck seemed to momentarily scramble for his words. “Only at the party, I haven’t smoked anything since then and I don’t intend to do it casually. It was a one time thing, and it was almost two months ago.”
“Remind me to only ever smoke at Yuta hyung’s place, because you guys are too annoying.”
Sakura perked up where she was sitting, blinking rapidly. “Nakamoto Yuta?”
He nodded, smiling almost evilly at her. “Yeah, I hang out with your crush more than you do. Maybe if you didn’t have such a stick up your ass, he’d invite you too.”
“Ugh, I hope you do die.” 
She had gained quite the infatuation with Yuta, having flirted with him at the party and hung out with him for quite a bit of the night. All her confidence to do so had come from the alcohol though, because she ran in the opposite direction of him at school, too nervous to go up to him and strike conversation so casually. 
You snuggled closer to Donghyuck, the evening air taking a turn for chilly. You loved having him around and was overjoyed at how well he fit into your little group, getting along with them as if they were his best friends as well. Being with him was effortless, just how it should be. 
“You should at least try talking to him,” you suggested, “If you don’t try, how do you know he’s just going to reject you? Didn’t he spend almost the entire party with you?”
“Easy for you to say,” she scowled, but you knew she meant no ill will and was simply joking. “You got the guy from like, the moment you met him.” Her words had you bite back a bashful smile. 
“That's true,” Donghyuck quipped almost proudly, rubbing your shoulder and dropping a kiss to your temple. He noticed the way you had tucked your hands under your legs. “Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?”
“Don’t you need it?”
“I’ll be fine,” he reassured you, taking it off and draping it over your shoulders, and resuming his previous position of having his arm around them. Sakura and Chenle simultaneously pretended to gag.
“The two of you are disgustingly adorable.” She complained, and Chenle agreed.
“Yeah, you make me feel so single I want to smoke.” 
The sound of Sakura hitting his arm at that comment resounded through the empty park, making you laugh. You hadn’t realised how bland your life had been before this year because now it was like the colours were brighter and much more vibrant than before, so much more interesting. This was how highschool was supposed to be, you thought to yourself as you slid your arms into the sleeves of his jacket, simple and rosy tinted, without a single worry in the world. 
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ix] now.
This was the tenth time Donghyuck was listening to the track.
He paused it and dragged it back to the start, playing the song once again. Something about it was off, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it just yet, subjecting himself to analyse it over and over as a result. 
He shut his eyes, trying to absorb the song and search for what was not clicking for him, letting himself be consumed by the music. The melody washed over him, the powerful vocals and enticing beat soaking into his system. In his expert opinion, it was one step away from being a hit on the charts. He just had to figure out what step he had to take in order to achieve that.
Usually, he would stay and work on it until he managed to come to a solution, but for some reason all he wanted to do was go home today. He wasn’t focused on his work, as much as he loved music and what he did, for some reason today he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Maybe the thing that was off with the song was his demeanour at that moment. For all he knew, when he felt better and more motivated to work on it, it might sound ready to put out into the world without him having to change a single thing.
Donghyuck needed to clear his head. He pushed himself away from his desk and stretched his legs, walking to one of the windows of the studio and peering outside. 
He loved the studio, he practically lived there half of the time, sleeping on the sofa when he stayed too late or was too tired to drive home amidst a project. Every instrument inside was precious to him, every piece of equipment important. It was filled with happy memories for him, with artists waltzing in and out of his space and entrusting him with their life’s work. Their vision collided with his artistic view, and even though his name wasn’t bedazzled in the lights and he wasn’t directly in the limelight, he had somewhat managed to make a name for himself in the industry he had always loved.
The studio was more his home than his apartment, so then why did he so want to go back to the latter at the moment?
Looking out into the streets of New York, it hit him.
It wasn’t his apartment he was yearning for, per se, but more so the idea of home. It was something he had struggled with coming to terms with for the longest time, having never stayed anywhere long enough to consider home throughout his formative years. As a default, home had never taken the form of a place or a house on a particularly named street, but instead had always been a person. 
During his childhood, it had been his mother, for she was the only truly constant thing in his life back then. As his teenage years rolled around, even she started to feel alien to him. He began perceiving her as less of a home and more of the reason he didn’t have one. 
And then there was another person who became his home, and she came in the form of you. You were his age and much more relatable, it was much easier to place all his hope and trust in you, especially when just being around you made him forget about all his problems. When he was with you, his life seemed to lose that intense sense of instability that always kept him on edge. 
You somehow stabilised him, but he lost that stability in less than a year. In an attempt to reconcile with his guilt, he began punishing himself by changing his number and cutting you off completely, telling himself that it would help you as well. Once again, he was without a home, and his relationship with his mother was further strained. 
At eighteen, he moved out to New York. 
New York was his home now, the place he had stayed for the longest time. It was a place finally, somewhere he could point out with his finger and proudly say he lived in. He finished up his education, going to college and teaching himself music production on the side. He worked two part time jobs and enrolled himself in production classes. 
It was hard being all alone in a city as big as New York, in an unfamiliar and cold place. The loneliness hit him hard, and that led him to calling his mother. After a year in the city, working and studying hard, he finally understood why she had done what she did while he was growing up and appreciated her for it.
He had his big break at twenty-two while working under a small record label. The song he had worked on as a producer went number one on the billboard charts, rocketing the singer from an unknown person to a household name and right under theirs, was his.
He was being praised by critics for his experimental style and the little things in the production that made the song what it was. Suddenly, he was in demand and made real, good money- amounts that he had never seen in his life. He sent half of it to his mother and could now visit her as many times in the year as he so pleased. 
Every sacrifice was worth it. It had gotten to where he was standing and made him who he was. 
But you being in his home now?
That made him question it. You displaced him.
New York had only started to properly feel like home when he had made it big, the big scary city not seeming so scary anymore. He finally felt like he belonged somewhere after years of lacking that. 
The only time he had ever belonged to someone was when he had been with you. 
When he left your town, he had left a piece of his heart behind with you, just as he had taken a piece of yours with him. He had never gotten it back, searching for it- something, someone perhaps- in the faces of strangers. 
He had put all his faith in finding that in Yeonmi, a woman who reminded him of you, only to find out that she was simply influenced. He was stuck, frozen in place by a choice that seemed impossible to make. Whatever course of action he took, any option he picked, it always seemed to make him the bad guy. He couldn’t just drop her for you because things were too complicated for that, and it would in turn make you the bad guy as well, but he couldn’t keep on feeling this way while being with someone else.
Home. Donghyuck knew right then that he wasn’t yearning for his apartment, or the city itself. He was yearning for you.
Donghyuck wanted you there in his studio, in his apartment- just with him maybe would be enough. Not just wandering and brushing shoulders in the vast city that you called home as well, but by his side constantly, to once again be the home that grounded him.
The realisation washed over him, but it didn’t come as a total surprise. Part of him had always known that you were it for him, especially when he saw you for the first time again that night he dropped a drunk Yeonmi home to you. The reason he couldn’t focus was you, how badly he wanted to run back to you and ignore all the complications that came with it, right back into the arms that were his true home. 
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Occasionally, you would think about Sakura and Chenle. 
You had long since lost contact with your highschool best friends, inevitably drifting apart from them with the course of time. Once university began, even managing to text each other turned into a chore, and the only times you saw each other or hung out was during the summer when you went back home. Once you moved to New York and started going home less, those few moments turned into nothing at all.
Nevertheless, you hadn’t forgotten about them. They had been your constants for so long, people you trusted with all your heart and soul, always running out of your house to meet them. You fondly recalled all the late night calls and sneaking out and sleepovers, complaining about examinations and school together, and spending your summers with iced teas and hanging out at the local diner. From drinking sprite to sneaking alcohol, a lot of your firsts have happened with them. 
They held you together when Donghyuck left. They picked up the shattered pieces, sticking them back together the best they could with the resources they had. They were the ones that got you to smile again and eventually forget about him long enough to forget that you were trying to. 
Even though you haven’t spoken to them in years, you still thought about them. You would never stop being grateful. 
You also wondered how they would react if they knew what your life had come to. 
The coffee you had ordered this time was hot, and you cupped the mug, letting the warmth of the drink seep through the ceramic and to your fingers. You were in what had become your regular booth in the cafe, and across from you sat none other than Donghyuck himself. 
Ever since that day, an unspoken sort of agreement to at least be friends had passed between the two of you- a truce of sorts. It was only logical, considering he was technically with Yeonmi, and it meant that you would have to learn how to put everything aside for that. Oddly enough though, you never talked about your roommate, and he didn’t make an effort to bring her up either. 
Sakura would have glared at you in disbelief. Chenle would be laughing his ass off in some corner.
Meeting at the cafe had turned into a ritual of sorts. You would meet him there every Tuesday before work and both of you would chat and have your drinks before parting ways. Admittedly, you had started looking forward to these little rendezvous with him, they somehow managed to make your entire week. 
Really, you shouldn’t have been surprised at this. Donghyuck had always had that effect on you and clearly nothing had changed. He still made you laugh more than anyone else and left you with that warm, fuzzy feeling that made you think that anything was possible. 
Yeonmi did not know about these meetings. 
You had never mentioned them to her even once, and you were willing to bet that Donghyuck hadn’t either. He seemed to avoid talking about her entirely, and it seemed that he hadn’t been talking to her very much either, since your roommate had worriedly mentioned his lack of communication this past few weeks.
“He still talks to me,” she explained, eyes knit together in worry. “But not as much, you know? I can’t help but wonder if something is wrong.”
“I’m sure everything is fine.” You assured her when you were not, in fact, sure. You didn’t have the courage to ask about it anyway, and selfishly enough you didn’t particularly want to spend any of the little time you got with him talking about her.
You abhorred the way you had subconsciously turned against your friend, but it was fine because you had it under control. You could never do anything to hurt her, this was completely innocent. The two of you were just talking.
“You’ve met Lee Jieun?!” You exclaimed, eyes wide in awe. He held back a laugh at the starstruck look on your face, nodding as he stirred the sugar into his coffee. 
“Yeah, she’s very sweet and extremely talented. Worked on a few tracks on her last album.”
“I bought that album,” you said, putting your mug down and clasping your hands together. “I’ve been saving up for tickets to her concert.”
His lips twitched in amusement. “I can get you some if you’d like.”
Mouth falling open, you stared at him in shock, no words leaving your lips for ten seconds straight. “If I’d like?? I would love that, my god. I’ve been a fan for four years now and she’s always my top artist on spotify every year during spotify wrapped. My most listened to song is also always hers and she’s just so-”
You faltered when you glanced at him and noticed the doting expression he wore while looking at you- the sides of his lips were just slightly upturned, eyes following your movements keenly and hanging onto every word. It had heat rise up to your face and made you self-conscious because goddamnit, that was the exact way he would look at you when you were together. 
Fuck.
Your throat felt dry, and you swallowed hard, averting your eyes as you felt your cheeks burn. “I’m rambling,” you mumbled, fiddling with the teaspoon on the little place your cup sat in. “Sorry, I talk too much. I’ll shut up.”
“Don’t,” he immediately said, “I like hearing you talk.”
You blinked.
God. He really hadn’t changed at all, had he?
“R-right, uh, I just really, really love her music.” Everything about the moment threw you off. The way he was able to so skillfully grab you and plunge you back into the past you had tried so hard to run away from was jarring. It wasn’t even something that slowly crept up on you, instead clutching you by the collar and throwing you straight into it, right back into your sixteen-year-old self’s shoes. 
“I can tell. I’ll do my best with those tickets.” His promise almost flew over your head entirely and you forced a smile, staring down at your coffee awkwardly.  He still liked hearing you talk and your loquacious nature. Some things stayed the same no matter the course of time.
You let yourself wonder if he felt the same way about you as well, but just for a second. 
There was no way you could let yourself get away with thinking about it anymore because it would strip you of any dignity you had left. Your feelings for him had only grown dormant over the years and were now being awoken from their hibernation with every minute more you spent in his invigorating presence. It was unrealistic and childish to think that he felt the same way anymore.
The lack of any mention of Yeonmi, the way he seemed to be talking to you more lately and going so far as to meet with you on a weekly basis, well, the signs were definitely there, weren’t they? You were well aware of how much of an asshole move this was from both your ends towards your oblivious roommate, but as much as you tried to, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It was terrible, but there was nothing happening. You were allowed to enjoy these fleeting moments that when boiled down to it, meant nothing at all.
But as he smiled at your excited demeanour, looking at you like you were everything he could ever want, you couldn’t help but wish that it did.
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Yeonmi stood in front of the ice cream display, scanning all the different flavours at her disposal. You stood by her side, already digging into your own ice cream and waiting patiently for her to be done.
“You’ve already chosen what you want,” you pointed out. “Do you want a second cup or something?”
She shook her head. “Not for me, for Donghyuck. I’m going to meet him later on and since he likes sweet stuff I thought I’d get him a tub.” 
You paused your movements. Their meetings had grown sparse from what you had heard from her, with her having to plan most of them and him simply agreeing. It killed you a little on the inside, filling you with guilt at the suspicion that you had something to do with it.
The earnest lilt in her voice, her eagerness to please him- it reminded you so much of yourself. You disliked the way he was treating her, but you also found a sense of relief in it, and when you acknowledged that, you officially accepted that you were probably the worst friend in the universe.
“Have you chosen what you would like yet?” The teenager behind the counter asked impatiently. She looked like she would have rather been anywhere else in the world, but she was probably a highschooler who wanted some extra cash and this was the best she had gotten.
“No, sorry,” your roommate said dejectedly. “I’m not sure what he’d like.” 
Deciding to put her out of her misery, you spoke up. “Can we get a tub of cookies and cream?” The girl nodded, boredly taking one of the tubs out of the freezer and sliding it across the counter, calling out its price. Yeonmi flashed you a confused look and fumbled with her purse for a few seconds, taking out a few dollar bills and handing it over. 
The two of you walked out of the ice cream store, and she doubtfully looked at the tub. “What if he doesn’t like this?”
“He likes cookies and cream ice cream.”
“How would you know?”
You stopped walking and glanced at her, quickly realising you had slipped up. You tried not to take offence at the defensive nature of her tone, knowing that she had every right to be that way. She was technically his girlfriend, she should have been the one to know what flavour he would want. 
So you bit down hard on your tongue when the urge to tell her that you knew him better than she ever could sprung to its tip. You were bitter at having to let that go, your ego bruising from the fact that you weren’t entitled to the position of being the one who knew him so well, even though you had everything for it.
“He told me.” You said weakly, dropping your now empty cup into one of the bins on the sidewalk.
“When?”
Eight years ago. That was the truth, but you knew very well that you couldn’t possibly tell her that after pretending you had never met him before. The edge that her voice possessed right then put you off, but you brushed it to the side, knowing deep down that she had the right. “That one movie night we had.”
She frowned. “I don’t remember talking about ice cream at all.” 
“You fell asleep, remember? We spoke about it after that, just before he left.” The lie tasted sour, but not the pleasant kind of sour that is followed by a sweetness like a sour patch candy. This type of sour was persisting, the type that tainted your mouth from just its feel, spreading to your lips and the back of your neck.
“Oh.” She sounded hollow, letting the arm that held the bag containing the tub of ice cream fall limply to her side. “Okay.”
“You can tell him you picked it out.” 
You knew he wouldn't believe it anyway. “Okay,” She repeated, but you could tell how miserably she truly was. Resentment filled you, but just as quickly so did pity, replacing the former in the blink of an eye.
She had finally moved on from her sorry excuse of an ex and found happiness in another man, only for him to suddenly pull away right when she was ready to give it her all. You understood that more than anyone ever could, but in a completely different sense. To her, Donghyuck was emotionally absent now. For you, he had been wholly absent, snatched away and out of your reach for so long.
Yeonmi still had the chance to hold him, if he let her. You never had that.
And then your pity for her was replaced by anger.
Donghyuck had no right to run her around in circles like he was doing. You wanted to yell at him, tell him to make a decision on whether he wanted her or not.
You didn’t want to know the answer though, because the chances of it breaking your heart were high, and you didn’t think you’d be able to handle another heartbreak at his hands. It could also remove him from your life once again, and you’d continue to be haunted, just by new memories this time around. 
And just like that, you understood why he couldn’t make a decision so easily, because you couldn’t either. You wanted nothing more than for him to choose you, but it was the very last thing you would ask for, reluctant and afraid to hurt someone else in the process of healing your very own innate brokennes.
So you walked with Yeonmi back to your shared apartment and talked about insignificant things to take her mind off it all, trying to do the same for yourself. 
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x] then.
When a storm is coming, you can almost always tell.
It may not look like it, but intuition works in mysterious ways. That sinking feeling that stirs deep within your gut, discomfort flooding your system slowly and warning you of something bad to come. You try your best to ignore it, to pretend as if you’re overthinking and going crazy and that everything is fine. You revel in ignorant bliss and sunny days, growing all too comfortable with the stability of the everyday life you have grown accustomed to. You let yourself believe that the calm before a storm is permanent.
Donghyuck knew something was wrong the moment he walked into his house that fateful November evening, four whole months since he had first stepped foot inside it when they first moved in. He had learned the pattern of the switches, he knew the layout of the house by heart. 
His mother sat on the dining table, her face buried in her hands. Usually, he would walk upstairs to his room and not bother, but this time something made him stop.
“Mom?”
She looked up at him, and he noticed just how exhausted she looked. His mother was a beautiful woman, but time had worn her down just like it did to everyone, and all the stress she was under had caused some of her black hair to turn grey. Wrinkles showed on her palms, her laugh lines had grown deeper. 
“Donghyuck,” she said his name with a heavy sigh. “Come. Sit.”
On most days he had an excuse to avoid this, saying that he had homework or a project to work on, but today he complied, taking a seat next to his mother. 
“How was school today?”
“Good,” he answered. She gave him an encouraging smile that was clearly forced for his sake, and clasped her hands together.
“Good, good.”
“Is….is that it?” He asked gently, suddenly not wanting to be there. It was like his body was trying to get him out of the situation, knowing something was off before his brain did. Unfortunately, some things were unavoidable and inevitable, and just like that the clouds began to darken.
She shook her head, “No, there’s something I need to talk to you about” She reached out and grabbed his hand that was on the table, squeezing it hard. “It’s important, okay?”
He nodded slowly, now trapped within the conversation with no escape. His mother exhaled and shut her eyes, dropping her head in what seemed like defeat. “I’ve been offered a job.”
“A job?”
“Yes- with a much better salary. Of course, I’m beyond blessed with the amount I get now but we’d be more comfortable, it’s a better opportunity.” She rubbed the hand of his that she held soothingly, as if trying to soften the blow she was about to give. 
The waves gradually grew more turbulent, slow but definite. It was clear that she was trying to approach whatever she was trying to say with as much tact as possible, but was only succeeding in frustrating the boy with her vagueness. 
“Just spit it out, Mom. What's happening?”
“We’re moving, Hyuck.”
Donghyuck sat there, stunned into a silence at what his mother had just said. Finally, she was done beating around the bushes like he had wanted, but now he wished he had let her take her time. It almost didn’t even feel real to hear, the true weightage of her words not quite registering just yet.
“What?”
His voice was devoid of any emotion, falling flat and harshly against the gentle, apologetic facade that his mother upheld. “In a few months, I know that it’s hard to hear and I’m sorry I have to uproot your life once again but I promise it’ll all be worth it I just-” She shakily exhaled, as if trying to expel all the fatigue she had accumulated over the years of switching out jobs and moving around in an attempt to create a better life for her only son. “I promise I’ll try and make this bearable and it’ll be the last time.”
If she had the choice, she would never have chosen such a turbulent lifestyle. After all, who would ever want to thrust their child into such an unstable environment- it being unstable due to its ever changing nature? But being a single mother was difficult and she had to do whatever she had to in order to survive.
The ship that Donghyuck stood upon began to rock as the storm intensified. 
“It’s been less than a year,” He said icily. “Five months.”
“We’re not moving immediately. I have to finish up some work here and get everything together before we leave. Three months.” She rushed to assure him of this as if it fixed anything.
“So eight months. That’s still less than a year, Mom.”
“I know sweetheart, I’m so sorry.
Sympathy filled her expression and she squeezed his hand, trying to convey that she understood his frustration. That notion was perfectly ridiculous sounding to Donghyuck, how could she even begin to think that she understood how he would be feeling? If she did, then why was she once again ruining his life?
If she was really so sorry, she wouldn’t be doing this in the first place. He clenched his jaw, looking away from his mother and around the living room he had finally grown familiar with. Every other time this had happened he had always grinned and bore with it because there never seemed like a reason to fight back. He had grown complacent and used to the cycle, expecting it almost.
But this time he had prayed it wouldn’t be the same. This time, he had grown attached to the dusty streets of the town and the long school days. He had a favourite store, more friends than he had ever had in his life and more importantly, a favourite person. This time, it wouldn’t just be him leaving behind a bunch of acquaintances, it would mean him having to leave you behind as well. 
He couldn’t bear the thought of that, his fury welling up and coming to the surface. For once in his life he had someone he wanted to stay for.
“If you’re so sorry,” he said, voice low and enraged all the same, “You won’t do this again.”
Her eyes softened, “I have to. I won’t ask you to understand, but-” 
“I hate you.”
The moment he said it, he could see his mothers countenance crumble, but the sympathy in it only increased. No parent ever wanted to hear their child say those words to them and he knew that in his heart, he didn’t truly mean them, but he was just so indescribably angry with her and the world for constantly doing this to him. 
It was cruel for him to say it without any hesitation, that much was certain the moment he saw tears well up in her eyes. She was a strong woman, refusing to let them escape and fall down her weary face for his sake, and he couldn’t take the sight of it any longer. Aggressively, he pushed his chair back and stormed off, bounding up the stairs of the house that would no longer be his with his heart hammering in his chest.
It was only in the comfort of his room that he let himself let out the sob that had been choking him up as he crumpled near the foot of his bed, a heavy sense of loss already passing through him. His eyes drifted to one of the walls of his room.
He had never put much thought into decorating, but there on it were three posters you had managed to convince him to put up with you, insisting that they livened the place up a little. He would have to tear them down now, just like everything else in his erratic, volatile life. Every other time was easier because there had been no bonds to sever in the process. He had let himself foolishly trust that his continued resilience was all for the happiness he had ultimately found now.
Perhaps this was why he had been so reluctant to let you help him decorate his room. Subconsciously, he had known that it would all be for naught when the nature of his life caught back up to him. Somehow he had already known that this was never meant to be anything more than temporary.
The waves capsized his ship and down Donghyuck went, sinking beneath the surface of the storm and below the storming sea, drowning in his sorrow.
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You sat in the driver's seat of your father’s car, legs propped up on the seat with your cardboard container of fries balancing on your knees. Donghyuck occupied the passenger's seat, biting into his burger.
The both of you were parked in the local diners parking lot in the late evening after school. Donghyuck had said something about not feeling like going straight home, and since you had driven to school that day, you suggested taking a detour and hanging out for a little. 
“I was thinking,” you started, picking out a fry and biting into it, glancing sideways at the boy who owned all of your teenage affections. 
“Hmm?”
“I wanna tell my parents,” you declared finally, finishing the fry. He blinked, lowering his burger and looking at you pointedly. “About us.”
“All of a sudden? Why?” His mystification was justified since ever since the two of you had begun dating, you had been adamant on trying to hide it from them. It hadn’t been the intent initially, you simply were procrastinating their reaction- not that it would be a bad one- and as time went on, it got easier to put off. That being said, it also got harder to hide.
You shrugged, shifting in the car seat and reaching out to adjust the volume of the radio. “I just think it’s time, you know? I’ve been putting it off long enough and I want them to know about you. The smile that crept up on your face when you said that was enough to have a pit form at the bottom of his stomach.
Guilt is an ugly emotion. It manifests slowly, digging into your insides as it grows in its magnitude until it's up to your throat, depriving you of air and choking you. 
Needless to say, you weren’t the only one putting off telling someone the truth.
Avoidance wasn’t something that was inherently built into his nature, but it came into play almost naturally now. He had managed to evade being around his mother as much as possible over the past week or so, ever since she had dropped the news that completely displaced his entire world. Similarly, he had been avoiding bringing up what was happening to you, telling himself that he still had some time
But the truth was, saying out loud and admitting it all to you was just too much for him. It made it feel real and not like some terrible nightmare he had been living for the past few days. He didn’t want the reality of it all to hit him just yet.
“Do you have to?”
“Kind of?” You raised an eyebrow at him in question. “We’ve been dating for almost three months now Hyuck, do you expect me to just keep it from them forever?”
He winced internally, beating himself up about how you were talking about your relationship with him. It felt wrong to let you naively talk about a supposed forever when he knew that simply wasn’t going to be the case.
Your forever was going to be quickly cut short. 
“Of course not,” he mumbled, sighing softly. “I don’t know. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
You frowned slightly, turning the volume down and putting your fries on the dashboard, giving him all your attention. “Hey, is something wrong?”
Everything was wrong. He wanted to laugh, mostly because the only other option he had was to cry and he couldn’t do that without having to expose it all. Instead though, he shook his head as nonchalantly as he possibly could, refusing to meet your eyes and instead staring at his burger. “Nope.”
You scoffed. “Oh yeah, that was definitely believable. Come on, tell me what's wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You said you didn’t feel like going home today. Is it something to do with that?”
You were too smart for your own good. He rolled his eyes, attempting to remain lighthearted, “What if that just meant I wanted to spend more time with you?”
“Weird fucking way of putting it, then. You could have just said you wanted to hang out.”
He put his burger on the dashboard as well and turned to you, holding your gaze firmly in the hopes that it would thwart your suspicions by appearing to be sincere. “Y/n,” he said your name steadily, a slight smile playing upon his lips that from the outside looked effortless, when in reality it was the most forced he had ever been. “Nothing is wrong. Drop it.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, realising that whatever it was, he clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. You could respect that.  “Alright, I’ll back off.” You raised your hands to the sides of your face to mimic surrendering and earning an amused look from his end in the process. 
It scared him a little bit, how you seemed to be able to look right through him without even knowing the full extent of what he was going through. He had known you for so little time- too little almost- and yet you knew him better than anyone else. 
Leaving you behind was going to be the thing that hurt the most.
He leaned over and kissed you gently. “Thank you. And you’re right, you should tell your parents.” Your trusting countenance clawed at him, only worsening the sickening feeling of culpability that swirled in his gut. Maybe he’d tell you tomorrow, or the week after. Maybe he’d wait for another month so that he could gather his wits first.
If you doubted his confident facade, you didn’t let it show.
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“Hey Donghyuck?”
“Hm?”
“I think I love you.”
Five little words should be entirely inconsequential, but even as young as he was, Donghyuck knew their true weightage. He knew you meant it by the credulousness in your gaze and the gentle squeeze of your hand on his. 
The two of you were sitting on the roof outside your room's window, you clad in sweats and his jacket- the very same one he had given you weeks ago at the playground. You had never given it back to him. He was in casual clothing as well, having sneaked onto your room during the early hours of the morning to hang out with you.
Time with you seemed to be fleeting now, and so he clung onto every minute he got. You had your head resting on his shoulder as the sun began peeking over the town and spilling its golden rays all over the little houses and buildings, lighting them up and bringing vibrancy to the town. 
Love was a complex emotion, a haphazard mishmash of several others in proportions that were unique to every occurrence it manifested itself in. Trust, admiration, infatuation and many more- they made up the feeling that everyone on the planet supposedly sought after so desperately. If it was truly so unpredictable, how did anyone know what it felt to be in love?
He sucked in a breath as seconds passed. Then, he squeezed your hand back.
“I love you too.”
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xi] now.
Yeonmi was a great friend, ever ready to show her endless support for you in all your endeavours. 
“Smile! And for god's sake, get a drink and lighten up. It’s all your friends here.” She slid her index finger under the strap of your dress, lifting up to its correct position on your shoulder. 
You sighed and complied, flashing a smile for her sake, promising to make your way to the kitchen and do as she asked. She inspected your eye makeup one last time, pleased with how her handiwork had turned out and left your room, reminding you to hurry up and get out there. 
You had gotten a promotion at work a week ago, and when you had revealed the news to her she insisted that you celebrate properly for the occasion, taking it upon herself to organise a small party at your apartment. She invited some of your friends from work and a few mutual friends of yours- not too many people in all, but since your apartment wasn’t the biggest, it was already starting to feel a little cramped.
Pulling yourself together, you left the confines of your room, finding yourself humming along to the music that she was playing. The dress you had donned was definitely not as short as the ones you had insisted on wearing during your highschool years, having opted to go for a more respectful length now that you were older, but it made you feel pretty and put-together.
Among the familiar smiles and toned down congratulations that you received, you found your eyes wandering until they met another pair that was already trained on you.
Donghyuck was there, of course he was. Yeonmi had already told you that she had asked him to attend and you had been expecting his presence.
So why then did you feel your heartbeat pick up a little, as if it had come as a surprise?
You looked away
A slow hour passed.
In your teenage years, parties had been something you had always enjoyed partaking in, but right then you felt a tad uncomfortable. You quickly deduced that this was because all those times, you had just been another partygoer, lost among the rest of the drunken crowd. Here, you were the subject of the party, the centre of attention. 
People came up to congratulate you and make small talk. It struck you then, just how different your life was now from what it was back then. You were older in a different city, surrounded by people who had nothing to do with what felt like your previous life. Your old best friends, people you had thought would stick by you to the very end were not there, you were far away from your parents and were no longer a child that depended on them for everything. You had an apartment you called your own that you shared with your roommate. 
The only thing- person- that had somehow belonged to both your youth and adulthood was Donghyuck.
Flushed with the alcohol that you had consumed, you excused yourself from the umpteenth conversation you'd been dragged into with some of your colleagues and made your way to the kitchen, wine glass in hand. Shutting the doors behind you, you revelled in the momentary silence. 
You noticed the bottle of wine sitting on the counter and looked at your empty glass. Being the focal point of everyone's attention had never been something you particularly enjoyed and so to ease the bubbling anxiety inside of you, you walked over and poured yourself another, swirling it around and taking a good, long sip. 
The sweet wine trickled down your throat, kissing it soothingly with its tart berry flavours. You were no doubt tipsy at this point, having subconsciously fallen back upon the alcohol to support you through all the socialising. You truly wished Yeonmi hadn’t been so insistent on this stupid thing, you would have been more than happy to celebrate by going out to dinner, just the two of you.
“Oh! You���re here too.”
You spun around, clutching the stem of your wine glass a little tighter and automatically leaning your back against the counter when you felt your balance slip away from you a little. Donghyuck shut the door, hesitating.
“Am…Am I intruding?”
He totally was intruding on your solitude, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when it came to him, thus shaking your head ‘no’. “Not at all, I just needed a moment.”
“I can leave if you’d like.”
“Don’t.” And you meant it. You didn’t want him to leave and he was the only one you would willingly tolerate at that moment. He flicked the lock of the door, sealing it shut to the rest of your guests and walked over to you with his own glass. You handed him the bottle of wine.
He nodded in silent thanks. “Congratulations on your promotion, by the way.”
“Thanks,” you took a small sip of your wine, looking at him and allowing yourself to study his matured features. There was not a thing about him that didn’t explicitly shine, a being so enigmatic and beautiful that it had you in awe of him even eight years later. “Not that it’s anything exciting like your job. I just sit in a nicer office now.”
He chuckled softly. “It’s still pretty cool, you’re still pretty young for your own office, aren’t you?”
You nodded bashfully. Even though you tried to remain as modest as possible when it came to the good news, you were quite proud of yourself. “Yeah, I didn’t think I’d get so far so quickly out of college.”
Donghyuck shuffled a little closer until he was right next to you. The urge to lean into him sprung up out of nowhere, the little voice in your head telling you to do so abruptly growing stronger. You drank the rest of your wine in an attempt to drown it out, only succeeding in doing the complete opposite.
God, he smelled amazing. You could get hints of the cologne he had on, a musky scent that had hints of something citrusy in the mix- thoroughly dizzying to you. You despised how much control he had over you without even knowing it.
“I had to repeat my senior year of highschool.”
His words snapped you out of your self-induced reverie, and you cocked your head to the side in question, prompting him to continue. As of late, your little coffee dates (your mind had defaulted to calling them that, even though you knew you shouldn’t), he had begun sharing bits and pieces of his life, and you had started doing the same. However, this was quite out of the blue, piquing your curiosity.
“After we moved,” he clarified, uncertainty creeping into his voice as if he was afraid of how you would react. “I almost flunked the eleventh grade finals in my new school and barely made it to the twelfth, and then that began, I barely attended, bunking almost all my classes to hang out with this group I had somehow managed to fall into.”
He sounded regretful as he spoke and you didn’t dare interrupt. You had often speculated what he was doing after he left, while you mourned the loss of your love, you had spent countless sleepless nights tossing and turning, wondering if he was thinking about you as well.
“They were terrible influences, but at the time I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was never in class, always at one of their garages with some sort of alcohol. A lot of that year was a blur, with me being drunk almost every day. I’d leave the house in the morning and say I was going to school and take a detour. My grades fell but I never paid attention to it because of how unhappy I was.”
Your eyes stung with emotion for him, because although you had resented him so much, he was still only a kid back then. Pairing this new information with what he had told you about his flighty childhood, you couldn’t even imagine the sheer level of frustration he must have experienced with having to adapt to yet another place.
“By the end of the year, my attendance was so terrible that they couldn’t let me write the finals, nor could they let me graduate, leaving me with the option to drop out. My mother was in tears and we fought a lot when I told her about it. At first I was fine with just dropping out and giving up, but she said something that made me rethink that.”
“What did she say?” You whispered, your heart feeling as if it was in your throat. You hadn’t even realised you had moved in position, now even closer and directly in front of him.
He sighed heavily. “She told me she didn’t want me to end up like her. She wanted me to live without having to uproot every year or so, and the only way I could do that is if I didn’t give up. And that got me thinking about everything.”
His glass was empty now. “I realised I didn’t like my so-called friends, I hated what I had become and I didn’t want to continue living the way I had for so long. I thought long and hard about what my mother said and then…then I thought about you.”
Your breath caught in your throat as you held his gaze, searching his face for answers before he presented them to you. 
“Me?”
He reached out, his fingers oh-so-carefully brushing against the skin of your cheek, dragging back slowly and tucking a strand of hair that had fallen into your face behind your ear, lingering there. 
“Yes, you.” A wistful smile made a show on his face. “I thought about how my mother said she wanted me to graduate and push forward so I wouldn’t live the same life she created for us, and how if she had done the same thing she was begging of me, maybe-” His voice cracked, causing a jolt down your spine and your sight to blur slightly with the emergence of tears, but they didn’t fall just yet.
“-Maybe I wouldn’t have had to leave you.”
Fuck.
A single tear trickled down the apples of your cheeks, and the moment it did, his thumb wiped it away gently. 
“So I agreed to the second option, which was having to repeat my senior year. I attended every class that I could, I studied and worked hard for every test. I graduated late, but I managed to do it, and then I moved to New York just before I turned nineteen.”
“Donghyuck…” you trailed off, not knowing what to say.  It was clear to you now that he had to grow up a lot earlier than you had, even if it hadn’t seemed that way at first. You had a good family life and a stable, comfortable childhood. You were allowed to figure it out slowly, never being exposed to any sort of extreme turbulence that shook your world so deeply other than his leaving- and you had support through that as well in the form of your friends. Donghyuck had none of that, left all alone.
“All I wanted to say was that without you, I wouldn’t be where I am.”
“Don’t do that,” you said almost sorrowfully, “You did it yourself. I just happened to be a part of it for a little while.”
“You should have been a part of it for longer.”
He wiped the stray tears that escaped your eyes at that, knowing how much weight that statement alone held. You shut your eyes, sucking in a deep breath to try and pull yourself together, but to no avail. Quietly, you responded. “I know.”
“Don’t cry,” He whispered, tilting your face up by your chin, a fond expression gracing those gorgeous features of his, and your eyelids fluttering open to look at him, committing every single detail about them to your memory. “You look beautiful tonight, Y/n.”
The compliment stung, like needles digging into the surface of your skin roughly. You knew you were completely undeserving of it, that it should have been directed to your friend who was somewhere outside the privacy of the kitchen and yet there you were, basking in his attention like you always did in the few stolen moments you got with him. 
You were quite aware that you weren’t sober and you were willing to bet that he wasn’t either. Here the two of you were once again, eight long years later at a party, alone yet together. The irony of it all was not lost on you, and you somehow knew exactly what was going to happen in the next few seconds and still you made no motion to stop it. 
His lips found yours instinctively, kissing you hard. You let him, the familiarity of it all rushing back to you so quickly that it nearly knocked you off your feet. Your hands rested upon his arms as his mouth moved against yours, rendering you breathless and at his disposal. You were his, you had always been his just as he had always been yours, no matter how much time had passed or how much the two of you had changed.
If the wine had gotten you tipsy, his kiss had you downright intoxicated. You were drunk on the sensation, leaning into him to get as close as possible to take it all in. You memorised the way his thumb traced your jaw so tenderly as if you were made of glass and he was afraid to break you.
Life had somehow brought you right back to him full-circle, ending right when it had started the two of you off. Perhaps it was a cruel joke, to give you everything you had ever wanted in such a limited capacity and to simultaneously make it completely off-limits.
Eight years you had waited for this, and nothing had ever felt as liberating as it was wrong.
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“We need to talk.”
It was the second time you were hearing these very words from Donghyuck’s mouth, and you were just as reluctant to comply as the first.
“No.”
He looked at you, frustration decorating the expression he had directed towards you. “We can’t keep avoiding it.”
Yeonmi had invited him over again for a movie night, but realised you had run out of coke and had volunteered to run down the store and get some more, blithely unaware of the clear tension between him and you. Then again, she had never noticed anything when it came to that, but it made your life much harder. 
“I think you’re just fine at that.” God, you couldn’t even begin to explain the magnitude of your anger. He was sitting there on the other end of your couch after a week of saying nothing to you- which was mostly your fault, considering you hadn’t shown up for your little coffee date that week and had stoutly ignored any calls or texts he sent your way- but that wasn’t the point.
The point in question? The fact that despite having kissed you, he evidently hadn’t broken things off with Yeonmi.
He frowned, “What do you mean?” 
Now, it wasn’t as if you wanted him to break up with her for you or anything, but rather because it was the right thing to do. Of course, this wasn’t to say that you didn’t secretly hope the former would be the reason for it, but deep down, you knew that you couldn't even indulge in that. The incident had been eating away at you ever since it happened–
– Well, what exactly had happened?
You recalled the way you broke out of his touch the moment he whispered your name against your lips and brought you back to reality. You remembered how the crash felt, the way you had been on top of the world for a few seconds before it all crumbled right at your feet, the long-growing anticipation dying out into unadulterated guilt.
You remembered thinking of Yeonmi, your sweet, supportive friend who hadn’t done a single thing to deserve what you had just done to her. 
When that happened, you wordlessly left the confines of the kitchen, avoiding him for the rest of the evening. Your cheeks felt hot and you felt light headed, but you had to keep up your image until everyone had gone home. He disappeared some time after that, the reason unknown to Yeonmi, who informed you of his sudden departure. 
“I mean, you’ve done a great job at completely avoiding talking about Yeonmi before, so you should have no problem avoiding talking about whatever happened between us.”
He clenched his jaw. “That's not fair and you know it.”
You did. You were too proud to admit it to his face though, refusing to let him pummel through your already shattered dignity. “Whatever.” You were still seated, staring up at him in defiance as your fingernails dug into the cushioning of the couch.
“Don’t do that, don’t shut me out again. Talk to me.”
“I shut you out because you left me, Donghyuck. I’m sorry for not letting you back in with open arms, if that's what you wanted from me.” You were terrified of this, manic at possibly having to face the music. You were so much better at running away from it all, away from him.
He sighed in retirement. “We kissed.”
Your throat felt dry. “Yeah.” 
“Y/n-”
“Don’t,” you warned, feeling emotion bubble to the surface and crack into your speech against your will. 
“I want to talk about it. I need you to talk about it with me.”
Stupid, perfect Donghyuck. You loathed the way that even after everything, after all this time, trouble and everything in between, he was somehow still everything you had ever wanted.
You kept your voice airy and as light as possible although your tongue felt heavier than it had ever been. “If you’d like, we can pretend like it never happened in the first place, just like we pretended we weren’t a thing.”
A thing. What a gross, unjustified oversimplification of what you had with him when you were younger, and cruel too, but you had no choice. You had spent every waking hour going over the possibilities, every outcome of the situation you had stumbled into and had come to a singular conclusion: you were going to get hurt.
Donghyuck stared at you in disbelief, getting to his feet and pacing around the room as if he was trying to create space between him and you to get away, but coming back moments later. “Don’t pin that on me. That was all you.”
A bitter laugh left you as you stood up, now face to face with him. The tension was arid, almost choking you, but his gaze had an even more adverse effect, cutting right through you like you were nothing at all and holding you accountable. He was so close to you, close enough to reach out and touch and kiss once again if you so wished.
But wishing for the unattainable was futile.
His eyes dropped to your lips. Futility be damned, you wanted another taste of what it felt like to be kissed by Lee Donghyuck already, having been stripped of that luxury without having any say in it all those years ago. Just like that, you were breathless and your thoughts scattered, the air between him and you turning electric.
God, you were so tempted to just give in and press your lips to his, but you knew you couldn’t, no matter how the way he was looking at you made you consider risking it all.
“Oh and what did you expect me to say? That it was wonderful she was dating my ex-boyfriend?”
And that's when you heard glass shatter.
You startled, taking a step away from Donghyuck immediately and your head snapping to the direction of the sound, only to find Yeonmi standing by the door. 
Two broken glass bottles of coke lay near her feet, their contents spilled and pooled around her shoes. The look on her face told you everything you needed to know- the disbelief in her eyes and agape mouth, those features laced with striking betrayal. In the heat of your argument with Donghyuck, you hadn’t heard the door open, neither had you heard your roommate enter, and you were certain that she had heard that last bit. 
Worse, she had seen the two of you like that. It didn’t matter how quickly you had retreated away from him. 
The scene was horrific in her eyes, and you could only imagine it from her perspective. The man she was dating and her roommate, someone she trusted and considered close, looked as if they were about to kiss each other right in front of her as if she didn’t exist in the first place.
“Yeonmi– I can explain–” You scrambled to try and piece together something that sounded plausible. 
“Explain what, exactly?” She asked quietly, staring at you like she had seen a ghost. You had never heard her speak with such hollowness and it scared you. “That you, the both of you, lied to me?” 
You had nothing to say to that because it was completely true. Everything about this was your fault and you could relate to the betrayal that she felt right then, you understood the hurt that she undoubtedly was experiencing right then.
“It makes sense now,” she said, tears springing to her eyes as she looked from you to him. “How you knew she knew so much about you, why you suddenly distanced yourself from me when I thought things were going well.” Donghyuck exhaled, looking at the ceiling and shutting his eyes. “You never really wanted me.”
“I’m sorry, Yeonmi.” 
You watched as tears made their way down your friend's face. You felt like a fraud for still referring to her as a friend when you had been anything but one to her. She opened her mouth to say something, but it seemed like her grief took over, only a choked sob leaving her. 
“I never want to see you again.”
And she turned around and walked out, storming into the hallway outside your apartment. You followed her out as quickly as possible in desperation, leaving Donghyuck behind. The yellow hallway felt intimidating all of a sudden, as if it was staring you down for the sins you had committed against your roommate. “Yeonmi, wait–”
She stopped outside the elevator and turned around to face you. “Why?” Her question felt like a sharpened rod prodding at your heart, or perhaps a knife driving through you and leaving you there to bleed out. “Why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t know what to do,” Your helplessness finally escaped you in a rush, your own tears gathering in your eyes. “I didn’t want to, I swear I never wanted to hurt you.” 
This was all wrong. You had never wanted to hurt someone else, you had never wanted to spread the pain you had carried with you all these years to her and had done everything in your power to avoid doing so. You had done everything you thought was right and yet here you were, having made a mess of it all anyway. 
“I never…” You trailed off, your voice failing you as your tears trickled down, stinging your skin with their heat. “I never meant for it to be like this. I’m so sorry.” 
“He’s your ex.”
You nodded miserably, burying your face in your hands and pressing your palms over your eyes hard. You let your hands slide into your hair, tugging in frustration before you gathered the courage to finally look at her again.
“A long time ago. We were kids.” 
“And you’re still in love with him.”
You didn’t bother answering that one because you knew it wasn’t a question, looking at your feet until your vision got blurry from all the tears, some of them dribbling down your chin and onto the thick carpet beneath your slippers, staining it a darker colour than it was. Of course you were in love with Donghyuck, but it had come in between her own falling for him and she, despite having done nothing wrong, had to suffer the consequences.
“Fuck,” she muttered, leaning against the wall. “You should have told me. I would have stopped seeing him immediately if I knew.”
This wasn’t groundbreaking news, you had inherently known this from the start. “I know.” 
“If you knew, then for fucks sake, why didn’t you tell me?” Her anger was warranted in every sense and ever scenario having to do with this, the force and outrage in her tone making you visibly flinch.
“Because,” you hesitated, before deciding that hiding anything more from her wouldn’t do you any good. “Because you were happy.”
She softened slightly at that. “But you weren’t, Y/n.”
“I hadn’t seen you that happy since…” You didn’t need to finish or mention her ex, you knew she understood. “I couldn’t bring myself to take that from you.”
She took a few steps towards you, failing to portray any malice now. “You ruined it anyways, and I think this is much worse.” Pity exuded off of her while she spoke to you, but just as quickly as you felt it, it was gone, replaced by the sheer magnitude of deception she felt. “You let me experience a false sense of happiness and consequently ruined it, and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.” 
You certainly didn’t expect her to. You didn’t even dare ask her for forgiveness, knowing that you didn’t deserve it at all. 
“But I can’t blame you for loving him. And I can’t blame him for being in love with you either because I can see it. It finally makes sense now.” She sighed in defeat, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “I hate you.”
“I know.” 
“And I can’t be happy for you either, so I’m going to leave. I’ll stay over at Chaewons.”
You shook your head. “No, I should be the one who goes, you should stay at the apartment.”
“Yes, but I’m the one who deserves to have a friend to talk to, so I’m going to go.” You could tell how hard she was trying to remain calm, removing herself from the situation before she did anything stupid. She walked away from you and towards the elevator, calling it to your floor. You nodded, letting a defeated sigh escape your lungs.
“Okay. Drive safe. I’m sorry.” 
“I will.” Yeonmi stepped into the elevator and faced you one last time, pressing her lips together. “I’m sorry too Y/n, because I never want to see you again either.”
xii] then.
You occupied one of the swings, humming an idle tune you had heard on the radio earlier that day while you looked through your phone. Currently, it was 7:15 p.m, fifteen minutes after Donghyuck had promised to meet you at the park. You didn’t think much of it though, since he was usually on time and would show up soon enough.
“Hey.”
Speak of the devil.
You looked up from your scrolling to see him standing there a little away from you and smiled. He seemed out of breath as if he had run all the way here and his hair was tousled from the wind that blew, biting into your exposed skin. You realised you had left his jacket at home. 
“Hey you,” you hardly ever recognised the tone your cadence took on when it was directed towards him, and you couldn’t pinpoint when it switched to such transparent affection either, but you weren’t one to question such things. Your love for him was as sure as the cycle of the earth around the sun, an inevitable happenstance of fate. 
“I can’t stay for long,” he informed you regretfully, walking over and occupying the swing beside yours. “I have to be home earlier today.”
“That’s okay,” you checked the time. 7:17. “How early?”
He winced, “Eight technically, but I’m sure I can stretch it till eight-thirty.”
You waved this suggestion off, shaking your head. “Nah it’s fine, I don’t want you to get in trouble. We can talk while we walk home.”
“Okay.” He followed you out of the park and onto the streets. Still being winter, the days were short and the sky was already dark, the streetlights provided the pair of you with illumination, second to the moon peeking out from behind the clouds as if it was afraid to call the sky its own before its usual time. 
You reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his as you fell in step with him, enjoying the warmth he provided. “We can just hang out tomorrow.” The next day was a Sunday, which meant you had the entire day to yourselves if you so pleased.
His smile faltered slightly as he nodded. “Yeah, tomorrow.” 
You completely missed the uncertainty coating the word and the anxiety he felt right then, pulling him along with you as you walked. Teenage foolishness was truly a fool's paradise, your blissful unawareness blessing you with a bounce in your step and a worry free mind. Donghyuck meanwhile was struggling to keep up, his guilt making it feel as if his feet were heavier than ever, the knowledge he possessed and had effectively kept from you being the cause of his misery. 
So you talked about your day, the difficult question on your test that day and about Sakura’s progress with Yuta (which had been minimal at best, but you were proud of her nonetheless because at least now she could wave ‘hello’ to the boy). He listened to you chatter endlessly, the sound of your excited rambling distracting him from his troubles. There was never a moment he was bored when around you and he truly did love to listen to you talk. 
He’d miss that more than anything. He’d miss you more than anything he had ever had the chance to miss.
“Oh we’re here,” you stopped outside your house and turned to him, walking right into his arms for a quick goodbye hug, planting a chaste kiss upon his lips before you pulled away. “Thanks for walking me home.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, watching as you began walking to your door. He already missed the feeling of your skin against his, wishing he had held you for a little bit longer. Was he already forgetting the taste of your kiss, even though you were only a few feet away from him?
“Y/n?”
You stopped and looked back at him, your smile visible in your eyes. “Yeah?”
He was leaving tonight. That was why he had to be home early, because it would be the last time he ever set foot in that house. Tonight he would be gone, and you still didn’t know a damn thing. It was too late to explain. That was his own doing and now he’d simply have to live with the guilt plaguing him for what would probably be the rest of his life. Every time he thought about you, it would attack him once more and push him underwater, holding him there until he ran out of breath. 
So he would have to settle for something small and manageable to quell his culpability, at least by a little. 
“I’m sorry.”
He knew that it wasn’t nearly enough to make up for everything. Two meagre words couldn’t do much at all and it wasn’t capable of fixing anything either, but it was the best he could do. His heart felt heavy, and he could feel his eyes sting with tears at the sight of your confused face at this, finally letting the unhappiness he felt crack through. “I’m so sorry.”
Concern bled into your features. “For what? Hyuck, are you okay?”
Donghyuck shook his head and blinked rapidly to stop himself from crying in front of you, stuffing his hands into his pockets and taking a step back. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just– see you tomorrow.”
And with that, he walked away, leaving you to eye his figure as it sauntered down the street and disappeared around the corner. He was confusing sometimes, switching from being happy to something entirely else within seconds. 
You opened the door and walked into your house as night fell.
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The next day, he was late again. 
Usually he would pick you up on holidays before you went anywhere, but today he was nowhere to be seen. It was noon now, and you glanced outside your window, anticipating his car to pull into your lane any moment now.
You momentarily entertained the idea of him possibly forgetting. It did seem like he had a lot on his mind as of late, so you wouldn’t blame him if he had. The only issue was that he wasn’t texting you back, nor was he answering your calls and so you decided to stop waiting around for him to show up, opting to go over to his house instead.
The sky was cloudy that day, a chill in the air that had you remembering to pull on a jacket before you set out this time, the gravel beneath your feet crunching loudly in the silence of the afternoon. Most of the town took their midday nap on a Sunday such as this one, making it seem a lot quieter than it was.
So when you walked up to his door and noticed all the lights in the house seemed to be off, you didn’t think much of it, preparing to apologise for disturbing if his mother happened to answer as you rang the bell. 
No response.
You frowned, waiting a minute or so before ringing the bell again twice in succession. When nothing happened, you slipped your phone out of your pocket and clicked on his contact, holding it up to your ears. It didn’t ring at all, immediately playing a recorded message instead.
‘This contact is temporarily out of service.’
Your intuition kicked in, telling you that something was inherently very wrong. Swallowing thickly, you tried ringing the bell one last time, louder than before.
“Y/n? What are you doing here sweetheart?”
You looked over to your right to see a lady in her fifties- a friend of your mothers- standing outside the neighbouring house, wrapped up in a robe. Embarrassment at causing a disturbance flared up inside of you as you rushed to explain yourself.
“I’m sorry Aunty, I just wanted to visit my friend Donghyuck.” You gestured toward the door to aid in your explanation, earning a perplexed look from her end.
“He’s not here anymore.”
There it was again, your intuition kicking you from the inside and clawing up, dread beginning to fill you. “I–I’m not sure I understand Aunty.” 
“They moved out sometime late last night, his mother had told me about it a month or so ago when she needed help fixing a hole in the wall to get her deposit back from their landlord. I had my husband help her– but that’s beside the point. They’re gone.”
The implication of the new information hadn’t quite registered yet, leaving you to stare at the lady, dumbfounded. “Gone,” you repeated under your breath. “Oh.”
“I thought you knew since you were such good friends with her son.” Friends. The word sounded bitter right then, because you had been so much more than that, but as you stood there and listened to your mothers friend talk, you wondered if you even qualified for that. Didn’t friends tell each other things? 
“Is everything okay, darling?” Why didn’t he tell you?
“It must have slipped my mind. I’m sorry for disturbing you Aunty.”
She waved it off, forgiving you easily and retreating back into her house. You stared at the door.
He couldn’t have been gone- it made no sense whatsoever. Just yesterday he had been by your side and had made plans to meet with you today. Why would he have done that if he was going to leave?
I’m sorry.
His cryptic words from the day before rushed back to you and you gasped to yourself when their magnitude finally hit you, causing you to stumble back and off of the landing of the house. He did know, he knew and had blatantly lied to your face without a second thought. Your mind went into overdrive as you tried to piece what had just happened together to form a coherent set of thoughts, failing miserably at doing so.
Two things were clear: Donghyuck was gone and you had no idea where or why. 
You tried calling him again, punching in his number into the dial pad almost furiously, willing him to pick up. When the same monotone message repeated itself, you cursed, accidentally dropping your phone onto the path you stood on in your frenzy.
“No, no, no, no” There was a certain manic quiver to your voice as you picked up the device, staring at his profile picture. It seemed to mock you now, the bright smile he sported in it that portrayed joy directly challenging the torrential downpour of agony that you were inflicted with, thus rendered utterly despaired.
Your boyfriend was gone, and he hadn’t bothered to tell you about it. 
The boy you loved, heck, the person you adored and meant the most to you in the entire world had left you without so much as a proper goodbye, leaving you behind to wonder why. You hadn’t the faintest idea where he could have been at that moment, just knowing that he wasn’t where he had promised he’d be and where you needed him most.
Hot tears spilled out of your eyes, catching onto your eyelashes and making it hard for you to see. You didn’t bother to stand back up, the asphalt beneath your knees digging into it harshly, no doubt going to leave a few minor cuts. The amount of questions you had were innumerable, each one crashing into the other until your head was full of incomprehensible nonsense that made it spin. 
It felt too normal for him to have been gone. The rest of the town functioned as normal and yet it felt as if your entire world had just been flipped upside down.
When Sakura and Chenle sat you down and asked you about what had happened when they found you sitting all alone in the park after skipping school a few days later, you left out the parts describing how you desperately tried ringing the bell a few more times afterwards. You didn’t tell them about how you had so hoped that it was an elaborate prank, nor did you go into detail about how many times you had called him, hoping and praying for him to pick up. 
The days melted into weeks without Donghyuck. 
You hated how it felt as if he was everywhere, having tainted all your favourite places and being the majority of your most beloved memories. You half expected him to walk out from around a corner and surprise you, taking you in his arms and kissing your forehead.
But hope is a foolish sentiment, especially hope fueled by naive teenage fallacies. The rose tinted glasses that had been worn by you for the months you had been with Donghyuck seemed to fade in their vitality, sucking out all the colour from your life until it felt as if you were left with a dull combination of greys and blue hues to paint the rest of your life with. You were missing the components that gave it warmth.
For you, Donghyuck was the sun, enigmatic, alluring and all too elusive. He was everything you could ever ask to have and yet just outside your reach, your fingertips barely brushing against it before it disappeared again. You quickly learned that you were the moon, waiting amidst the stars and hoping for those moments when both the sun and moon were painted across the same canvas of sky. 
That very sky had fractured into a kaleidoscope of colours when he left, leaving you to pick up the shards of your broken heart.
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xiii] now.
You stood in the doorway of what used to be Yeonmi’s room, comparing it to how you remembered it looking before. The only thing left was the bedframe and an old cupboard, the rest of the room was bare.
She had moved out a couple days after the incident, leaving you alone in the apartment. You would have to look for another roommate or simply cover her part of the rent yourself considering you could afford to now with your promotion. Still, the silence was overwhelming, reminding you constantly of how easily you had ruined a friendship.
It seemed to be one of the core themes of your life- to experience debilitating loss over and over without having any time to prepare for the same.
The doorbell rang. 
Ungluing yourself from her former doorframe, you dragged yourself to the door and opened it, your eyes widening in question when it fell upon the person who stood there.
“Y/n."
Donghyuck stared back at you with those captivating eyes of his, pulling you into a trance of sorts instantaneously.  You forced yourself to snap out of it.
“What are you doing here?”
He combed his fingers through his hair, evidently agitated. “I didn’t know what else to do. You won’t answer my calls and I need to talk to you, even if you don’t want to.” 
You were so tired, the events that had transpired over the past few weeks crushing you beneath the weight of it all. Looking at him now, all you could do was weakly shake your head, a frantic sort of fear consuming you whole. 
“No,” you said, taking a step back. “I don’t not want to talk to you, I can’t.”
“Why?”
The question made you freeze in place, your feet rooted to the flooring of your apartment. Why? After everything that had transpired, it was for some reason much too hard for you to answer although the answer was at the forefront of your thoughts and on the tip of your tongue. Truthfully, you were afraid to sound it out, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to convey it correctly.
When he left you eight years ago, you didn’t have the opportunity to talk to him. He had taken away that possibility for you without ever considering if you’d want it, and gradually you grew used to silently harbouring ache that bloomed in your ribcage. 
It occurred to you then that the same was the reason he wanted to talk. Donghyuck had forced himself to cut you off in every way after he moved, following his own teenage justifications that told him it was for the best. Now, older and wiser, he knew not to repeat the misdeeds of his youth, but the very opposite notion had been instilled in you.
“Donghyuck,” you whispered his name, giving him a knowing look, one that was filled with so much sadness and despair that he could barely recognise you. Where was the ever-cheery girl he had fallen for?
Was he the cause for her disappearance?
If so, he promised himself he’d be the one to bring her back too. “Be with me.”
You gasped softly at his proposition, shaking your head furiously, “Are you insane?”
He simply nodded, taking a step closer towards you. “Yes. About you, I’ve always been insane about you.” Conviction hung onto every word, and perhaps if you were younger you would have swooned and run straight back into his arms. 
You missed your naivety, for life would have been so much easier with it. It was a boon, but now you were wary for the sake of your fragile heart. You could feel your teenage wistfulness rise to the surface as if it was trying to break out of the cage you had locked it in, doing its best to claw its way out and hand the rest of the pieces of your heart over to the man who had the missing bit you had been searching for all these years without him. 
But you knew better.
Instead, you shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut as if that would make him go away. “No, no, no.” It seemed to be the only word your tongue could form right then and so you repeated it over and over, clinging onto what it meant as if you were trying to convince yourself that you truly meant it. “I can’t be with you.”
“Yes, you can. You know you can.” His own desperation began to shine through, exposing his own years of heartache. He had waited so long for a moment like this. Every goddamn day since the day he had left you, he had regretted it, heartache permanently etched into his bones.
You snapped your eyes open, disbelief overtaking. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. Be with me.”
“We just hurt Yeonmi,” you said, your words getting caught in your throat. Then, once again, your chagrin towards him glared up as you glared. “And that was because she happened to walk in on us talking. What if she had seen us kiss? Tell me, would we even be having this conversation if she hadn’t found us?”
“I…” He frowned and you scoffed. 
“Would you have ever broken it off with her?” Or would I have had to deal with our intertwined web of lies all by myself? The bitter thought lingered.
“Yes.” The answer was immediate. “If you wanted that, I would have done it.”
“Of course I wanted it!” You blurted out, your fingers curling into the palm of your hand into a fist. “But I couldn’t want it, because she was my friend, Donghyuck. Even if you had broken it off, I still couldn’t do a damn thing.” 
He swallowed thickly, “I know, its fucked up, but I–”
“Yeah, fucked up. Too fucked up for me to even think about being with you.”
“But you have, haven’t you?” The question threw you off, and as if he had magically read your mind, he clarified, “You have thought about it.”
You froze, and your silence betrayed you immensely. There wasn’t a single lie you could have uttered in response that would have been convincing enough, not even to yourself. 
“I can do it this time,” he said so earnestly that it broke your heart all over again, his coffee-coloured eyes pleading with you. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you again Y/n, I’m not a kid anymore. I can be here for you.” Promises fell from his mouth, sweet pledges and assurances that felt like balm to your wounded soul. 
But how were you supposed to trust the very person that had given you trust issues? 
How were you supposed to put those trust issues to the side and take him back with open arms without bruising your dignity any further? How were you to do it without falling apart?
Melancholy was a funny thing to have taken over you right then, self pity flooding your system, as well as pity for him. For so long, you had blamed him, but now that you took a step back and viewed your situation, you realised that you would have to do the very same thing he did so long ago.
The cyclical nature of life was pitilessly cruel, ravaging everything in its path no matter the case. It had brought you back to all you had ever known and wanted, all the while forcing you to let go, pulling the rug from under your feet without giving you the chance to find your footing. It had made him leave you and come back, only to have you walk away because of how wrong things were. 
Love found in dark, twisted places was never love that was meant to be nurtured. Love emerging from lies and deceit, situations that were impossible- it was love that would forever have to be left behind, no matter how pure it might have once been.
“I can’t love you.” 
“Y/n please-” 
“I’ve already hurt her, and if I love you again I’m going to hurt myself as well because I–I’m always the one that's left to sit and think about you. And it fucking hurts Donghyuck, it hurts.” You couldn’t believe him when he said he’d stay, because he had told you the very same thing all those years ago. You couldn’t be with him without guilt haunting your every move when you had so severely hurt Yeonmi due to your own agony.
You didn’t even realise you had started crying, tears cascading down your face. It was all so unfair, how something that had always been advertised as being simple had been anything but for you. Love had never once ended well for you, constantly picking you up and throwing you back down subsequently without giving you a moment to breathe.
Love was supposed to be the most beautiful thing in the entire world, so why was it so goddamn ugly? 
It crushed him to see you like this, so openly broken and yet guarded at the same time, your wall built up so high that he wasn’t sure he could ever break it back down again. He hated how it was him who always brought you to this point, and he tried to reach out to you to wipe away your tears, but you only flinched away from his touch. 
How the hell had you ended up like this? 
“Then tell me you don’t feel it.” He had to know. He needed to hear it from you.
Your lower lip quivered. “Feel what?”
God, you felt so much. Just looking at him was enough to stir up a surfeit of emotions that you hadn't the faintest clue how to handle, but one in particular overpowered the others, an ache emanating from your rib cage that was so potent, it exhausted you.
“Feel what you did when we were sixteen. Say it.”
Sixteen. You had felt so loved by another that barely understood the concept of it himself at the time, its meaning so completely untainted by the passage of time and complications that came. That innocence wasn’t to be found within you, but the remnants of it had grown and interwoven itself with what only he could bring out of you.
“I–”
“I’ll say it then, because goddamnit Y/n I love you.” The look on Donghyuck’s face ripped right through you. “I’ve always loved you, from the moment I saw you when we were teenagers. You’re the only person I’ve ever been in love with and I know you love me too.”
It fucking hurt. You couldn’t understand how the only person in the world who understood you so completely and saw right through everything you were was the one person you couldn’t let yourself be with. It was Donghyuck who used to notice even a slight switch in your mood when you were upset and it was him who would cheer you up the best he could. It was him who used to let you ramble on into the late of night and text you into the wee hours of the morning and him who now naturally gravitated towards you, just as you did to him. It was his jacket that you still had buried somewhere in your closet from all those years ago, with you unable to let go of it no matter how hard you tried. 
Even now when you had only reunited for a bitterly short period of time, he was still the one who intrinsically knew every part of you. He knew you loved him still.
You inhaled sharply, noticing the red tint to the white of his eyes, realising that he too was struggling to keep himself together right then. Shaking your head slowly, you moved closer towards his figure, touching his face gently and cupping it between your palms, searching his eyes intently.
“I love you.”
He shut his eyes the moment you said it, tears slipping down and catching on your fingertips as you brushed them away. 
“But even you know we can’t be together.”
The world had ripped the two of you away from each other once, and you had to trust that there was a reason for it. You knew you couldn’t let yourself go back because it was simply not meant to be with the circumstances and cards life had dealt you.
You loved Donghyuck- fuck, you loved him more than you thought was possible, and it still wasn’t enough. Neither of you could communicate through anything and shit was a hell of a lot more complicated than it was when you were just teenagers. He was right, he wasn’t a kid anymore and neither were you, but too much had happened. The timing was never right for him and you, there was always one thing or the other standing in the way, and the repercussions of everything was too much for you to simply put in the past, making the two of you something that would never work.
“I know.” 
The syllables left his lips so brokenly that you instinctively had the urge to somehow fix him- whatever part of him that was fractured. The front he had been parading around, the false sense of confidence that he had pretended to have about you had finally collapsed, leaving him with a truth he hadn’t come to terms with just yet. The resignation he possessed broke you further, and you pressed your lips to his firmly, trying to mend your fragmented souls.
But it was fruitless. This was a brokenness that you would have to learn to live with until time bandaged your matching wounds, dulling it down into what would one day just be the thought of how terribly it burned. 
“I’m sorry,” you whispered against his mouth. “I love you.”
Disentangling himself from you, he stepped outside of your apartment and looked at you, imagining you once again the way he had first met you. 
“I love you too.”
It was ironic, how words could mean something entirely different to what they were, how seemingly unrelated sentences were connected, a confession of affection serving the same purpose as a final farewell. Goodbyes of such permanence were merciless things and so when presented with one so absolutely brutal, he couldn’t help but think about the beginning, from the very first hello that passed between him and you. 
I love you. The very last time you’d ever hear it from him.
Those fragile, lovely rose tinted glasses you wore in your youth had snapped a long time ago, and you could see everything for what it was.
And now, he could too.
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Time was said to heal all wounds, but only if it was a wound that was ready to be healed.
Everything about Donghyuck and you was unfinished back then, the millions of questions you had haunting your every move ever since it had so abruptly ended. For eight years that wound had been left wide open and time had only assisted in letting it fester, burying its memory deep within your psyche.
But time also brought wisdom in its stride. 
You picked up the mail your new roommate had left on your coffee table, shifting through the pile until you found the envelopes with your name on them. Leaving the rest behind, you made your way to your room, sighing in relief at finally being back in your comfort space.
Sitting atop your bed, you began opening each envelope. A letter from your grandmother who refused to learn how to send you a text, a card from an aunt and a few bills- the usual collection, but one stood out from the rest. The sender's address was entirely unfamiliar to you, and you frowned lightly, carefully tearing open the top and tipping out its contents.
A soft gasp escaped your lips.
Right there on your lap lay two tickets to Lee Jieun’s upcoming concert.
As if you were afraid that they would disintegrate, you gently picked them up and inspected them, in utter disbelief at the fact that you were holding them. You had failed to get tickets of your own when you had tried and yet here you were with not one, but two of them in your grasp- and they were the expensive kind, the ones where you had access to go backstage and meet the artists as well. 
For a moment you entertained the possibility of this being a mistake, but then you stopped your train of thought when it slammed head first into the only explanation as to how they had gotten here.
A small, wistful smile crept up upon you as you glanced back at the envelope, noticing a small piece of paper still inside. Taking it out, a breathless chuckle was all you managed after reading what it said.
‘Thought I’d at least keep this promise. – L.D’
Suddenly, you were taken back to that cafe where you had the conversation with Donghyuck. You hadn’t stepped foot in there since the last time you saw him- over two months ago when you knew it was over. 
Sometimes, a story doesn’t have to have an ending to be finished. 
You knew that a part of you would always love Donghyuck due to the ephemeral, innocent nature of the young love you had for him that had been ingrained within you. You had made your peace knowing that the two of you were something written into the world to die out eventually, something that you had to let go of even if it made no sense to you.
It was apparent that this was a love that could never truly be yours, as magnificent as it seemed it had never been yours to begin with in the first place. It was a mishmash of bad timing and rash teenage decisions mixed in with that sort of hopelessness you only found in the blissful oblivion of adolescence. You could wish and want a million things, but at the end of the day, now and then, some things were simply not meant to be.
The love between the two of you was something you were never supposed to claim, time and time again slipping through your fingers, and yet you still grieved for its loss.
But grief could be overcome. You shut your eyes, imagining his cheeky smile and fond eyes, the way he’d look at you while you were talking and all the pretty, empty promises he had made. All the talks of the future that had always been fractured for the two of you and moments of tenderness.
For once, you didn’t just picture him apologising to you over and over again, that ache having finally dulled out.
And when you opened your eyes, you didn’t feel sixteen anymore, instead you felt as if time had passed almost too quickly and reality was finally catching up. You felt older, properly this time, and much more experienced. 
Donghyuck had been your first love at the tender age of sixteen, the cause of your flushed cheeks and racing heart; affectionate, shy smiles and chaste kisses underneath streetlights. He had been the torrential downpour of rain upon a stormy sea, as violent as it was beautiful. All you felt about him had only ever been intense in nature, your youthfulness unable to process them in any other way. Now, looking back, perhaps there were several things you would have done differently, and maybe some you wouldn’t have done at all.
You would remember it all, every single detail of course, but when you thought about Donghyuck, you’d think about all the good. You’d remember laughing out over him singing along to your favourite songs on the radio while aimlessly driving around town, the late night conversations you’d sneak out together to have and the ice cream you’d share on hotter summer days. You’d think about his infectious laugh and the way he always managed to make you happy, the way he’d take care of you when you were sick and kiss your forehead goodbye each and every time. How your hand would perfectly fit in his, fingers intertwined and clasped together tight, how he’d whisper the three words that you so cherished back then at the most unexpected of times. You’d remember the love that was very real and very much lost and its seemingly magical, wild nature that you doubted you’d ever find again. 
You’d remember sixteen.
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fin.
206 notes · View notes
slightlymore · 1 year
Text
if I lose my mind 2
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dream sorter haechan x dreamer fem reader
genre: fantasy/tim burton-esque, romance, smut, angst!!, fluffy moments
warnings: +18, explicit sexual content, jaemin is an accidental voyeur,  swearing, wounds 
other characters: mark, taeyong, jaemin, taeil
words: 11k
read part 1 here
"I want your fingers inside my mouth," you tasted the words on your tongue.
The place was dark, and you couldn’t clearly see the face of the person you were addressing. Only half of his face was on display - his perfect nose and a pair of plump lips. 
What you said was meant to be a mere flirty joke, but the man's Adam apple moved up and down in nervousness as his breath got shaky. The collarbones were on display in his black silk shirt as if inviting you bite down. He took a step towards you before you could do anything, caging you with his arms and you gasped gently. The sink dug into the softness of your ass and your torso leaned back, shy of his sudden closeness.
He stared you down for a moment although you couldn’t exactly see his eyes. You tried to exchange the look, but your gaze fell on his open lips instead. And when he let the water run behind you, little drops hit your bare back making you shiver.
He was as close as to caressing your face with his breath, yet so far away from kissing you.
And then you gasped again, feeling some of the water drops on your exposed bosom as he lifted one wet hand to your face. His two fingers were nudging at your open lips, and you opened your mouth wider. The man slid them inside of it and you hummed.
"Like this?" he murmured, looking at your doe eyes.
You held his wrist with both hands, sucking on his fingers diligently, nodding twice.
"Fuck," he whispered, the feeling of your warm tongue on the underside of them making him get even closer. His thigh pushed between your legs, and you grabbed his luscious shirt with your hands, right when
“Y/N, wake u- ouch!”
You gasped, mouth pasty and brain fried only to see Taeyong’s scrunched face under your palm, whining on your right. 
“Sorry, sorry, oh my god, are you okay?”
You took the hand away and your boyfriend massaged his nose with a light chuckle. “I am okay. Good slap. Who were you fighting in your dream?”
The bedroom was dark, and you could barely make sense of his features but his eyes were shining. 
“Oh,” you inhaled and exhaled slowly trying to focus. You were having this dream-
Taeyong didn’t talk for a moment then he gently wiggled his thigh, and you realized only in that moment that it was tightly hugged by your legs. 
“Oh,” you gulped again, unclasping your thighs. Taeyong didn’t move his leg away. 
“I wasn’t minding it,” his deep sleepy voice caressed your ears. “What were you dreaming about?” 
You grunted, rolling on your back and hitting the pillow with the head. Your face was on fire and your panties were too damp for your liking. Then you tried to remember what the hell were you dreaming about, to make you start humping Taeyong like that in the middle of the night. Flashes of someone’s jaw and lips danced in your sleepy mind for a moment, then the feeling of fingers on your tongue. 
“I just hope the dream was with me at this point,” Taeyong pulled you back by the waist and you chuckled a bit. Honestly you had no idea. But that must have been Taeyong. 
“Of course, it was with you. Who else can I have dreams about?”
 __________
Haechan thought he’d be able to stop thinking about you, but the habit of waiting every day to meet you, looking at your curious eyes and inviting you to choose a dreaming door, wasn’t something that could disappear all of a sudden. Although he couldn’t dream, the moments he spent with you were the closest thing to a dream he has ever experienced. While moving around like an automaton doing his tasks, his mind wouldn’t stop imagining your face, your eyes, your body. His fingertips could almost feel your skin. Your scent would randomly engulf him, making him stop in his tracks and turn around as if he could suddenly see you appear from behind a corner with your little cunning smile. 
But you weren’t there, just random people passing by.
He’d close his eyes to compose himself, head thrown back and deep breaths, then he’d start walking again. 
 __________
  Jaemin looked at Haechan stopping in his tracks and looking around like a hound. Their eyes met for a split second and Jaemin’s breath stopped, but Haechan’s dark pupils went over his figure as if looking for someone else. His shoulders looked droopy as he walked away and Jaemin exhaled anxiously, wondering what to do.
It was completely normal for people to have sexual dreams. That was part of the core training - not weird to see wet dreams, don’t piss your pants. Shame wasn’t something Jaemin’s people ever experienced but somehow, he could understand why the Dreamers were ashamed of their sexual thoughts during waking hours, bringing upon themselves convoluted wet dreams instead. 
So Jaemin didn’t think much of your dreams. Some were confusing, some were nightmares, and some were sad. He was ready to see all sorts of things. But his breath stopped, and his spine shivered the moment he saw a familiar man in your dreams as well. 
“Listen, this is a top-secret situation, and we need to be discreet. No one must know your Dreamer has been Lee Haechan’s. Got it?” 
Jaemin was standing in front of Taeil’s desk and nodded once, taking up his first task after graduating just a few days ago. 
“No one talks about their Dreamers in detail so if anyone asks just be vague about it,” Taeil continued. “And if you see something weird going on, you must tell me.”
“Weird like, what, sir?” 
Taeil sighed. “I don’t know. You’ll probably understand if something is weird.”
Jaemin and Haechan didn’t know each other well, but he saw him in a few of his classes. Haechan was a genius so he graduated much earlier than everyone else so Jaemin didn’t have time to become friends. But he was sure he was the man you kept dreaming about. The thing is, you should have forgotten him on the spot the moment you changed Dream Sorters. The security classes were fresh in his mind but unless Jaemin missed info because he was asleep, no one ever mentioned such a situation to him before. Was it normal for you to dream about Lee Haechan or was that something weird enough to communicate? 
 __________
 The class that morning was more boring than usual, you realized. The sun was shining brightly and warming your body slowly, making you feel like some sort of rotisserie chicken. The notes you were trying to take were gibberish. In the corners of the pages, there were some doodles. The one you were working on was some sort of flower. 
The professor’s monotonous voice just added to the heaviness of your eyes, and you decided to just close them for a second. Just a moment, resting them for a bit. 
You did just that, and with a heavy sigh, you opened them again. 
But there was no professor or students’ backs. No classroom and no notes. 
You were standing in the middle of a dimly lit room. It was minimal but cosy, with a comfortable bed on one side, a soft rug under your nude feet, and a desk against a big window, from which you could see a breathtaking view. 
A deep shiver ran across your body from head to toe. Where the hell were you? Were you dreaming? Or having a psychotic moment? Your mouth felt dry, and you felt panic descending into your bloodstream. 
A single sound in the silent room made you jump in place, and you covered your mouth with both palms. It was a person, resting their head on their arms on the desk. For a second you thought that was you and you were having an out-of-body experience, but then you noticed the wide shoulders, the veiny hands, and finally the expression of a young man, lifting his head to lock eyes with you. 
He smiled as if he could see you and you felt pulled to smile back although you felt scared out of your mind one second prior. 
“Pretty face today,” you heard yourself say. Then you furrowed your eyebrows and touched your lips as if not believing you actually said that to a stranger. 
“Can look prettier with you sitting on it,” the young man replied lazily as if he was used to this kind of banter. 
You felt your breath stop but your feet started to walk towards him as if they weren’t yours. He pushed his chair back to give you space and you placed his hands on his shoulders, slowly straddling his spread thighs. His eyes were deep but bright under his soft hair. You lifted one hand to feel it. It was pink, soft, and a bit damaged. He closed his eyes under your touch and his palms tightened their hold on your waist. They were warming your skin through the silk nightgown you were wearing. 
“Be careful about what you desire,” you whispered. The words kept coming out of you as if you were under a spell and someone was moving you like a puppet. 
He opened his eyes and stared at you, drinking in your features. “I’ve never regretted anything before.”
Then his expression darkened all of a sudden. You tilted your head to the side as if not understanding. “No,” he added, as an explanation. “Maybe I do regret something. Just one thing. Letting you go,” the young man murmured. 
You had no idea what that meant but your body felt painful as if that phrase opened a wound you didn’t know you had.
You palmed his face, gently cupping his cheeks, sliding your fingers right under his jaw. 
“I am here though.”
The young man’s lips stretched into a bitter smile. “Are you really?”
He exhaled deeply and let his head fall, burying his face into your chest, wrapping your body with his arms as tightly as he could. You did the same with his head, resting your lips on the crown of it, lulled by the scent of his shampoo. 
“I’ll believe it even if just for a moment,” his voice buzzed against your skin. “Nothing wrong with talking to themselves and being delusional in your room, right, Haechan?” he added with a little smile in his voice, as if talking to himself.
You opened your mouth to say he wasn’t crazy because you were there when a sudden loud knock on the door made your heart fall to your guts. 
You lifted your head from your arms with a gasp and focused your eyesight. The professor was still talking just as monotonously as before. None of your classmates noticed you falling asleep, so you exhaled and relaxed in your chair. The water on your desk looked delicious and you had a big gulp from the bottle. Then your eyes fell on the doodles you were doing before. You sighed and played with your pen, a weird sensation still lingering under your skin. Under the flowers you’ve drawn, you wrote a name.
Haechan. 
 __________
  Haechan rolled his eyes at the knock on his door. He lifted his head from his arms and stretched them above his head.
Wasting the afternoons fantasizing about you has been a problem for him lately.
This time it felt so real that he had the sensation you’d actually been on his lap just seconds ago.
He rested his hands on his thighs and they felt warm.
Haechan whined feeling like going crazy, but a second more violent knock disturbed him again and destroyed the last remnants of your presence. 
“Who’s there?” he asked, getting up and walking towards the door. 
Mark opened it before Haechan could grab the handle. His eyes were wide like a deer’s and Haechan was about to ask what was going on before he could see the figure of another person behind his shoulders. 
“This is Jaemin. Y/N’s new Dream Sorter. He needs to talk to you.” 
 __________
  That evening you walked home instead of taking any transportation. The cool air should have been able to oxygenate your brain and you desperately needed that. The dream you had during class and the name you basically engraved in your notebook by outlining it for the remaining 20 minutes of class until it tore the page were heavy on your conscience. 
Taeyong’s texts were also unread on your phone but you couldn’t see him that day. 
Was it normal to have dreams about other men even if you had no idea who the men were? You felt horrible. Not because you felt guilty, but because of the lack of guilt. 
You’ve been feeling weird lately, moody, and irritable.
You’d forget so many things, you’d misplace objects. It got to a point in which you’d nod and smile at everything Taeyong was telling you, although you had no memory of anything he was talking about. 
You couldn’t talk to him about it. You couldn’t even mention it to Doyoung because he’d definitely snitch.
And it has been so embarrassing and actually humiliating to sit down and go through all of your stuff one night, looking for signs of you dating your boyfriend. You couldn’t remember your anniversary date. You had no photos together. You couldn’t recall any date you’ve been on. And you felt even more humiliated when you grabbed your phone to google early signs of memory loss. 
But the worst thing of them all was your lack of feelings. 
Was this the reason your brain was feeding you wet dreams with other men? To tell you to break up with him? 
You stopped walking and passed one hand on your face with a groan. 
Then you looked around and fumbled towards the closest bench you could see. The little notebook you started to use as a dream journal was pretty much empty, safe for the two dreams you had that week. You opened it and felt the pages, looking into your handwriting as if they were a code waiting to be broken. It wasn’t obvious to you before, but now you could tell. The energy of those dreams was the same. You couldn’t remember the man’s - Haechan? - face, but his touch, scent, and tone of voice were so recognizable that you felt stupid for not realizing the two dreams were connected.
Who was this man? Were you slowly descending into madness? 
 __________
 Jaemin grunted when Haechang grabbed his collar and pushed him into the wall. “You smell like her.” 
Haechan’s voice was low and cutting. Jaemin tried to smile but it came difficult while being strangled. 
“Easy, easy. He’s her Dream Sorter and they’re in the same room every night. It’s normal,” Mark placed his hands on Haechan’s extended arm. Haechan didn’t look like wanting to drop it but Jaemin’s pleading voice made Haechan sigh and let go, patting his chest a few times to adjust the shirt. 
Jaemin inhaled sharply as he got freed from Haechan’s clasp and dramatically slid a bit on the wall to rest his hands on the knees. 
Haechan’s nostrils flared and then relaxed as if suddenly losing strength. “So it has been you all of this time,” he mumbled. 
“He didn’t do anything to her,” Mark explained. “He’s here to help.” 
Haechan felt dizzy. All of those times he felt your scent it was just Jaemin accidentally walking past him. He felt stupid for believing he kept having some sort of magical connection with you after you parted ways, but at the same time he was glad he actually smelled your scent and he wasn’t slowly losing his mind instead. 
“Wow, that was something,” Jaemin massaged his neck and looked for a chair to sit down on. 
Haechan crossed his arms on his chest. “You’ll survive.” If looks could kill Jaemin would have been incinerated already. 
Mark rolled his eyes. “Haechan.”
The latter sighed and finally sat on the bed, shifting his weight forward to adjust himself and spreading his legs comfortably. 
“Well?” he looked at Mark and then Jaemin. “I’m all ears.”
Jaemin gave Mark a look and Haechan understood they’d discussed the matter between themselves beforehand. 
“I am her Dream Sorter now and I can see her dreams,” Jaemin started. 
Haechan wasn’t impressed. Of course, he could see your dreams. The jealousy was eating his guts alive, but Haechan chose to not think about the Dream Sorter you might have gotten for his own sanity. Yet, there he was in his bedroom, flaunting it and pissing Haechan off. 
“And she’s dreaming about you,” Jaemin finished. 
Haechan forgot how to breathe. 
 __________
 Taeyong was already sitting when you arrived at the little cafè you asked him to meet you at. 
It wasn’t a date but the fairy lights above his head and the way he was waiting for you made your heart hurt. 
“Hey,” you barely said, grabbing your own chair to sit down. 
Taeyong lifted his head to look at you, but you didn’t dare to look him in the eyes. 
“Hey,” he replied after a few moments. 
He probably knew. Your dry “we need to talk” text after ignoring his messages was enough indication of what was going on. 
When you finally let your gaze fall on his face your breath stopped. He was legit breathtaking. And so sad that you decided to look at his hands instead. 
You were probably completely insane to want to break up with a man like Taeyong. 
“You know I’ll sound completely crazy, but,” you started, “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and-” you interrupted yourself, “-I don’t know when we started dating.” 
You felt stupid saying that.
Taeyong’s face didn’t communicate anything. His deep dark eyes were drinking into your features instead as if he knew it was the last time seeing you. 
He opened his lips after gulping once and told you about a random date. It didn’t mean anything to you. 
“I don’t remember it,” your voice broke. “I don’t remember anything, Taeyong. I woke up one day and you were my boyfriend.” 
The man sighed but he didn’t look surprised. That was even more creepy. 
“There’s something going on with me that I need to resolve. So, I am not breaking up with you because you did something wrong or anything. It’s me.”
“I can give you some space. There’s no need to-”
“I like somebody else,” you sputtered on the spot then gasped softly. Taeyong stopped his phrase but he didn’t look shocked at this either. The most surprised one of the two was you. Why did you feel like dreaming? And why were dreams feeling more like reality?
“No. I meant I feel like- I don’t know,” you babbled, one hand to support your head. You didn’t like anybody else. Right? Then why did you feel like you did? Taeyong let you talk then leaned forward for a moment to gently put a strand of hair you messed up back in place. 
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I tried.” 
You straightened your back at his words. He licked his lower lip once and you waited. 
“Sometimes we try a lot with people it’s not meant to be. And we’re not meant to be. That’s why you feel that way. I get it now.” 
His hand was placed right in front of you, and you wavered at first, but you knew he’d understand, so you just placed yours on top of it. His lips stretched in a tight smile. 
“You know how in movies and books people are always meant to be? “
You nodded. 
“I’ve always felt like I was surrounded by these couples and I forced myself into them like a third no one is really fond of.” 
Taeyong’s tone was light and airy. Yet you could see the heaviness on his shoulders. 
“And no, don’t say I’ll meet my own person in the future,” he smiled wider when you opened your mouth in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m alright.” 
“I am sorry Taeyong.” 
He shook his head. “No. I am sorry, and I owe you my apologies.”
“For what?” 
“Haechan,” he simply said. “He’s the man you like, right?”
 __________
  “Well, that’s completely insane.” 
Mark and Jaemin exchanged a worried look before going back to stare at the way Haechan kept pacing around the room, one hand on the hip, the other on his stressed forehead. 
“No. That makes absolutely zero sense. It has never been seen before.” the young man suddenly stopped as he did a few times already while going through the stages of grief. So far it was only Denial and Mark sighed, wondering how much they’ll have to keep being there. 
“And you?” Haechan indicated Jaemin with one accusatory finger. “You’ve been a fucking sick voyeur all of this time?”
Mark rolled his eyes. Great, he was at Anger already. Maybe it was going to be quicker than expected. 
Jaemin huffed incredulously. “I tell you that your fantasies become her dreams and that’s what you're most worried about? Me seeing them?” 
Haechan put the extended hand on his hip, staring Jaemin down like some pissed-off mother. “That’s a serious and normal concern. I’ve been-” he started but quickly interrupted himself as a dark shadow passed his eyes.
He cleared his throat looking at the floor for a moment.
Mark has never seen Haechan shy before.
“I’ve been thinking many things lately. The fact you’ve been in my mind all of this time through Y/N is making me feel violated.” 
“What have you been fantasizing about?” Mark’s corner of the lip lifted.
“That’s not important.” 
“Well, it looks important to you if you’re acting like that.”
“Listen,” Jaemin interrupted the two. “The most important thing is trying to understand how and why this is happening. Y/N should have completely forgotten you after she changed Dream Sorters. She doesn’t remember you but she can sense a connection. That is weird. And the way your fantasies become her dreams has never happened before.” 
Mark and Haechan closed their mouths at Jaemin’s grave tone. 
“With each dream, she grows closer to you. You also said your own name in the last dream and now she knows that too. She’s probably going to go insane and you said that’s why you separated in the first place. Now, all of that is useless. And I am also in the middle now. I should have reported this but I didn’t and if someone finds out they might take me out too.”
Haechan let his tongue bump into his cheek for a second. He didn’t like where this was going. 
“You need to put a stop to this,” Jaemin’s eyes were dark and cold. 
“How?” 
Haechan knew the answer even before Jaemin could reply. 
“No ties. You need to stop thinking about her.” 
 __________
 You didn’t understand Taeyong at first. Haechan sounded like something very important that has been escaping your mind. You felt like that about everything lately, as if you were in some sort of nightmare. 
“I don’t understand,” you replied with a tiny voice. 
Taeyong’s eyebrows furrowed but he remained silent. 
“I thought-” 
“You thought what?” you asked when he hesitated. His pupils were wide and dark, looking at you, but he couldn’t see you for real. 
His eyes suddenly twinkled and his jaw relaxed. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” 
You blinked at him, more confused than before. 
“No. You have to tell me now.”
Taeyong’s lips went as far as stretch in a secret smile he thought you couldn’t see. You suddenly felt cold. 
“We can break up. Don’t worry about it.” 
You looked at him as he suddenly stood up and wore his jacket. “See you in class.” 
 __________
 The only thing Haechan had for himself was the freedom to use his head the way he wanted to.
If you weren’t there, he could make you up in his mind.
If he couldn’t kiss your lips he could imagine their softness.
If he couldn’t hold you he could pretend his hands were on your body.
And now he learned he couldn’t even do that.
He skipped Bargaining and was already in the Depression stage. 
His room was getting lighter with sunrise, a sign it was almost night in your world, and it somehow made Haechan’s headache worse. So, he just closed his eyes, pillow on his face, to try and drown any sensation.
He might as well just die at that point, he snickered without humour. 
Jaemin told him to try it out for just one night, just to test the theory. 
But Haechan was so not good at following any orders. 
Some time passed and Haechan was still there, unable to fall asleep, unable to relax, unable to stop thinking about you. 
He huffed loudly, throwing the pillow towards the window where it stopped against the wall. 
“I am trying, okay?” he looked up at the ceiling as if Jaemin was there looking down at him. The sensation of being watched made his skin shiver, but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant. The realization made Haechan shiver again. Was that a common kink? 
He scoffed, turning to one side. Then to the other. 
The bed creaked under his hard movements and his mind went to the sound of the bed he fucked you on that night- no.
No no. Haechan stop. You can’t. No. 
He whined a little and opened his eyes. 
He couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t allowed to. Was this how you felt all of that time? It was hell. 
I mean, couldn’t he even rub one out either? You had nothing to do with his cock, per se. The important thing was to not think about you while doing that.
Shouldn’t be hard. Right?
 __________
 Your apartment was dark just like your brain after talking to Taeyong. The walk felt wobbly and you’ve never felt more grateful to touch the pillow with your head. Maybe after a good night's sleep, everything would make more sense. You sighed and tried to relax. Then you huffed on one side. 
Taeyong’s words kept rolling in your head meaninglessly.
Haechan Haechan Haechan. The man you liked.
What did that mean? Was Haechan the man you’ve been dreaming? You were pretty sure you’ve heard or read it somewhere before.
In class? Maybe.
In your notes? Probably.
Think.
Notes? Your school notes?
You gasped and sat up, remembering the dream you had and the word you wrote down in your notes, circling it. You looked around, trying to find your bag in the darkness but the outline of the room felt suddenly off. The sun was timidly starting to shine from behind your back and you realized the floor was cold against your knees.
In front of you, there was a bed and a man sleeping on it. 
Haechan’s hair was curled and spread on the pillow, just a single strand still on his forehead. It got knocked away as he pushed his head back into the bed, even more, eyes closed as if almost in pain. You could make sense of the silhouette of his plump lips, open in a silent whimper, against the dark purple of the window, and of his Adam’s apple in his extended throat. It moved as he swallowed, and you felt bewitched until you noticed the movement of his fingers instead. They were sliding down his nude stomach and the movements of his lean abs flinching under the touch were so enticing that you couldn’t look away. But then the silence got disrupted by a short groan and your eyes darted back to his face scrunched as if in pain or pleasure. Perhaps both, because from the way he was teasing himself on top of his sweats you could tell he was on edge. 
“Fuck,” he whispered but you could hear him very well as his hips bucked upwards against his palm. The pants were low on his hips and the view made you tighten your thighs together. You wanted to walk over, touch him the way he was touching himself, but you couldn’t move for some reason, and the frustration just made you even damper. You just had to watch at the way two veins snaked under his band, and you imagined how they would feel under your tongue. Would his skin be hot? Yes, you decided, as if you already knew, and it would be silky, getting even silkier as you'd go down even more, following the veins with your tongue until meeting the tip of his cock. You wondered what Haechan's voice would sound like. Husky? Deep? Or whiny and breathy? You didn't have to think too much about that, because a grunt filled your years and you realized you missed the moment he took off his clothes. His long fingers were finally on his hard cock, lazily pumping it, reaching for his balls with the other hand, pressing his thumb on the leaking tip. You felt your throat dry as you tried to gulp. Not once in your life you've assisted to such erotic view, Haechan pleasuring himself making you so dazy you had to rest your head on something, but there was nothing around. And when he started to whimper, fist moving up and down faster, his other hand pushing back his hair on the forehead, you couldn't bear it anymore. The heat between your legs got too much and you exhaled shakily, wanting to cum so badly. Haechan looked so fine you wanted to just sink on his cock, feeling those hands on your hips, asking you where you wanted him to cum. You'd say you want him to fill you all up inside and he'd do just that, feeling you clench around him until
until 
you looked around your room with a sharp breath. The sun wasn't out yet but your alarm was due to ring anytime now. Winter was coming, you realized. Then you realized the mess you made during the night and the way your legs were squeezed together, shaking uncontrollably. “Shit.”
You inhaled deeply, ignoring the fact it sounded like a whine and you relaxed your legs on the mattress. “Shit shit shit.”
You've never been woken up by an orgasm before. It was still lingering under your skin and on the tips of your fingers.
You ignored the way you were pulsating and grabbed your phone with shaky hands, turning off the alarm before it could ring. 
"I had another wet dream" you typed into your notes, on the page dedicated to your dreams. You realized you were writing them everywhere.
Then you stared at the ceiling as if trying to remember anything else. A man, pleasuring himself on a bed. You couldn't move or touch him. He was dreamy and you were pretty sure by now that his name was Haechan. 
 __________
  Haechan was rolling peas on his plate when a hard slap on his shoulder made him cough. 
“Are you fucking insane?” he asked when he found his voice. “What’s wrong with you?”
But Mark’s spirited expression didn’t care about Haechan’s tone. “You need to come with me.” 
“Whatever is going on there’s no need to beat me over it.” 
“Get up right now. I found something.” 
Haechan sighed, not in the mood to hang out with anyone. 
“It’s about Y/N,” the other lowered his voice. 
Haechan closed his mouth. “I made sure to not think about her.”
Mark grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up to his feet. 
“I talked to Jaemin again. I know, I shouldn’t get involved but this whole thing made me want to research further. No one knows, so you understand this is confidential, right?” 
“As if I would tell this to anyone. Don’t be stupid.”
Mark was talking quietly and fast while walking just as fast towards what Haechan guessed was his apartment. 
“Slow the fuck down. What exactly is going on? Is she okay? Is she hurt?” 
Mark stopped in his place. “You said it was weird that she was friends with Taeyong, the dude killed over his Dreamer.” 
Haechan blinked emptily for a moment before the realization made his whole body turn into mush. He had no time to fully think about that man and, honestly, he really hated his guts. 
Mark held onto his shoulders. “Yeah. She was his Dreamer. And she couldn’t remember that. Why? We don’t know yet. But he of course could remember her and he sabotaged you two when he discovered she was in love with you. Now they’re dating. I interrogated Jaemin against all rules oh my god what if they discover-”
Haechan felt his head full of cotton and Mark was talking way too quickly. “Wait, wait. I don’t understand shit. And so, what? She was right. It was not worth it. Dating in her dreams? Absurd. If she’s happy with him then so be it. They’re in the same world. I was ready to go to hell after being killed but she didn’t want me anymore-”
“She got convinced she did it for your sake. Taeyong didn’t tell her there is a way for you two to be together so he could have her for himself.” Haechan couldn’t process it fast enough. Mark patted his cheek with a little smile. 
“I found the way. I’m going to help you get back with her.”
 __________
  Haechan was sitting down on Mark’s couch. Every time he was there something was going on and he started to grow sick of that place. 
“So, a summary of what we know so far.” 
“You don’t have to tell-” Haechan started but Mark interrupted. Haechan rolled his eyes.
“You were Y/N’s Dream Sorter and that was your first job,” he taped a picture of you and Haechan on the wall. 
“What are you, and investigator?” Haechan cackled but leaned forward to rest his elbows on the knees. He really wanted that photo of you for himself. 
“And you both fell in love with each other,” Mark continued, uniting the two pictures with a red thread. 
Haechan felt his ears go red so he absentmindedly rubbed one earlobe. He didn’t confirm nor deny. 
“Now, this dude,” Mark taped a photo of Taeyong near you. Where was he getting those pics from? “Past Dream Sorter. He fell in love with her but we don’t know if-” 
“She didn’t like him back,” Haechan interrupted. 
Mark cleared his throat. “Well, we don’t know y-” 
“She didn’t.” 
“Alright alright,” Mark united Taeyong’s pic with yours with a different coloured thread. “This is nice, isn’t it?” 
Haechan rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Is this a game for you? Are you having fun?” 
“I am, sorry. Now, Jaemin. New Dream Sorter.” 
Haechan was starting to get bored. 
“Pressing question, when did you become her Dream Sorter?” Mark asked. 
The other man thought about it for a moment. “Right after graduation. Like a year ago.” 
“So, it means that’s when Taeyong stopped to be her Dream Sorter. Although in his file it is written it all happened way back in the past. This is why we never thought about him.” 
Haechan watched Mark place little year cards to the connections with furrowed eyebrows. 
“It will come out as a shock but I’m not following you right now,” Haechan commented, scratching one eyebrow. 
“Taeyong must have gotten killed right before you became Y/N’s Dream Sorter for it all to work out,” Mark tapped his face with the index finger. 
Haechan’s eyes tightened. “Then he’s supposed to be a titty-sucking newborn if he got killed last year.” 
Mark hit the wall with one palm. “But he’s a grown-up motherfucker.” 
The other’s eyes widened. 
“He wasn’t killed to be reborn. He escaped this place.”
 ­__________
  Jaemin stirred the ice in his coffee for the fifth time in two minutes. 
“Can you stop doing that? It’s fucking annoying,” Haechan snapped. 
The other scoffed. “You’re in no position to give any orders, Hornatron 2000.” 
Mark sat up extending his palms. “Okay, let’s calm down. I said I have a plan.” 
Haechan groaned, rubbing his face with one palm. “No, you don’t.” 
“We just need to discover how Taeyong escaped and make you do the same. This is a brilliant idea.” 
Jaemin stirred the ice in his coffee again shaking his head like the most shocked grandma. 
“You guys are completely crazy. I said we need to tell Taeil about this and end it here. He won’t kill you over horny thoughts, which by the way, you didn’t bother to try and not have.” 
Haechan’s head snapped upwards. 
“I didn’t think about her last night, don’t fuck with me.” 
“Really now? Rubbing one out? Well, you had spectators. And two of them, unfortunately, one of which not your dear girlfriend.” 
Mark made a face as if glad he wasn’t involved. 
Haechan was mortified. “I wasn’t even sleeping.” 
Jaemin lifted his unoccupied hand in the air and shrugged. “Told you it’s a big deal. Let’s tell Taeil.” 
Mark shook his head. “We don’t tell shit to anyone. We’ll make Haechan escape.” 
“You don’t even know how that works. Worst case scenario, Haechan dies and he’s born a fucking baby. Is this girl even worth it? Come on now.” 
Haechan got up. “Listen listen. This connection thing has to be tested first.” 
“Think about her now, then,” Mark lifted one eyebrow. 
“She’s not sleeping. It’s day there.” 
“Try it,” Jaemin added.
Haechan huffed but closed his eyes against his will. Mark and Jaemin waited in silence as if you could appear like a ghost any time soon. 
“I can’t when you’re here!” Haechan’s voice disrupted the silence and the other two men jumped in place. “Have you guys ever heard of something like this? Materializing Dreamers only by thinking of them? Crazy stuff. We’re all going crazy now.” 
The two young men assisted to Haechan’s short monologue, but their gazes weren’t on him anymore. Haechan furrowed his eyebrows. 
“At least pay attention to me?” he continued. “What’s so interesting behind me that-” he turned around to meet your wide eyes. His hair physically got pushed back by the sheer power of your shriek. 
“What the fuck?!” 
You were soaking wet in a bathtub, your arms tightly crossed on your chest and the bubbles of the bath slowly descending down your head. 
Haechan started at you with an open mouth then turned around briefly to check if the others were seeing you too. From their dead expressions they definitely could and from your furious eyes, Haechan understood you could see them too. 
“This has never happened before,” he tried to explain. 
“What kind of fucking dream is this?” you asked. “I was taking a bath.” 
“I can see it,” Haechan commented. Then realization washed over him. “You look away!” he directed his words to the two, still shocked, guys behind him. 
They cleared their throats and looked away. 
Haechan opened his closet and frantically looked for his robe. “Wear this. We need to talk,” he handed you the item. 
You looked at his hand and then at his face, not letting go of your confused expression. 
But you listened to him and grabbed the robe. Haechan turned around to give you privacy and he exhaled. Mark and Jaemin were frantically discussing between themselves.
Haechan felt like drowning in a dream that he couldn’t escape. You came and went in waves, leaving him disoriented. He could wait for you at the bottom. He could also stay away if you wanted him to. He could wait for years. He could do everything. 
And you were there. 
“Can you just-” he heard your voice, and he turned around again. You were extending your hand for him to help you outside of the tub. 
Your skin was soft and still a bit damp and he thought he was going to lose his mind on the spot. 
You were there. 
“Okay what the hell is going on?” you asked when you were on your feet. Your hand slipped from Haechan’s and he realized he has never been that nervous in his life. 
Mark took a step forward to save Haechan from his frenzy. “Hi, I am Mark, and this is Jaemin and you might want to sit down for what we’ll tell you.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows and they could see the way you were trying to understand if you were having the most lucid dream of your life or if you were actually there. 
They had no idea either. 
“And you are Haechan,” you added, looking at him. Haechan nodded, a bit take back.
“Okay, so you know it because he said it himself before, right?” Jaemin asked. 
“Yes,” you hesitated. 
Jaemin hit his palm with one fist. “Told you guys. Every time you think of her she gets dreams of you and she remembers them.” 
“Wait what?” You looked around trying to get more information. Mark grabbed your arms and pulled you towards Haechan’s bed, making you sit down. 
“If this is a dream, does it mean I am sleeping in the tub? Because that’s very dangerous,” you added. Mark looked concerned for a second. 
“We’ll get to that, I think.” 
“Are you really going to do all of this?” Haechan rubbed his eyebrow as if his friends were embarrassing him in front of his crush. Which was basically the truth. 
Mark wasn’t listening and took out his pictures and coloured string, starting to put everything up on Haechan’s wardrobe. 
Jaemin sat down on the chair near him and took a defeated sip from his coffee. 
Haechan didn’t have any choice but to sit near you. 
“Haechan.” 
The man turned around. It didn’t sound like a question but your tone wasn’t sure. 
“Y/N.” 
You closed your mouth. Your eyes looked wide, taking in the view and processing. Haechan could almost hear your brain cells trying to piece everything together. The moment your gazes increasingly intertwined, your dream began. 
“Is this a dream?” you asked. 
“I think so.” 
“I finally meet you.” 
Haechan’s warm eyes closed for a moment and his fingers twitched. “Yeah, finally,” he exhaled. 
“You’d think I am crazy, but I know you somehow. Like some sort of deja-vu. You’re familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. And it’s true I saw you before in dreams,” you added. 
“I don’t think you’re crazy at all.” 
“Do you know me?” 
“Yes,” he simply said. 
“How? Are we both dreaming?” 
Haechan smiled at the actual deja-vu moment. “Yes.”
You frowned a little but didn’t question him. “Alright.” 
The man blinked as if surprised. “You don’t want to know what this place is and what’s going on and-” 
You shook your head. He looked at your eyes then lips, then every other feature on your face. His pupils were expanded and his breath was shaky. 
“I have so many questions but-,” you stopped to think, “something’s going on. I don’t understand but maybe that’s for the better.” 
“Are you afraid to know the truth?” 
You felt your mouth tighten in a smile. “Yeah.” 
Haechan’s body felt warm as he suddenly pulled you towards it, his arms tight around your waist. You exhaled sharply and felt tears prickle your eyes. You felt the material of his white button-down while sliding your hands around his neck. 
As if you’ve been carrying a very heavy weight for years and suddenly it was gone, you felt so light that the tears didn’t want to stop sliding down your cheeks. One of his palms supported the back of your head and the touch of his fingers in your hair made you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck even more. 
“It’s okay,” he whispered, feeling your shaky breaths while caressing your back. 
“I missed you,” you heard yourself say. “Where have you been? I feel like I’ve been looking for you for so long.” 
“I know. Everything will be clear soon. I promise.” 
“I feel like I’ve been slowly losing my mind but I don’t really care.” 
You smiled and Haechan chuckled. “You think I’m crazy right?” you asked. 
“Okay, sorry guys, here I am,” Mark clapped his hands and you had to let go of Haechan. 
You looked at the intricate mental map Mark prepared, and you jolted seeing Taeyong’s face on there too. That was officially the weirdest dream you’ve ever had in your whole life. 
“I’ll make it quick,” Mark started, “this is you.” 
You opened your mouth to ask how he got your picture but he kept talking. 
“This is Haechan. And he was your Dream Sorter. This is Taeyong and he used to be your Dream Sorter before Haechan.” 
“What?” you interrupted. 
“And this is Jaemin, your Dream Sorter now.” 
Jaemin lifted one little hand. 
“Dream Sorters are people who, as the name says, sort you into dreams. You and all the people from your world. This fellow,” he indicated Taeyong, “fell in love with you. That’s not good. So, he should have technically gotten killed. After dying we become people like you, or at least that’s what they tell us. If he got killed, he should be a baby right now. But he’s a grown man and he’s friends with you. Meaning, he didn’t get killed, but he escaped somehow. Which tells us that it is possible to go there, and survive, and remember it.” 
Mark finished and put his hands together staring at you. Jaemin’s eyes were on you as well and you could see Haechan’s attentive gaze in your peripheral vision. 
You felt dizzy. 
“Okay. Wait. Why are you telling me all this?” 
Mark blinked back as if not expecting that question. “So, you know. Because we plan to send Haechan over to your world too. For you.” 
Your head snapped towards him. “Why would you do something like that?” 
Haechan’s mouth was open. “You don’t want me to?” 
You shook your head. “Wait this is too much information to take in.” 
You got up and tied the robe around you more tightly. 
“Am I dreaming right now?” 
“Technically yes, but this has never happened before,” Jaemin explained. “Usually when you sleep, yes, you come here but it’s controlled under my supervision. Now you just appeared in Haechan’s room because he just thought of you. This is very dangerous, and he can’t just stop thinking about you so we have to do something about it.” 
That information made your whole body heat up. 
Haechan looked up at you with wide luscious eyes as if he felt guilty. 
“I can try to stop if,” he interrupted himself to gulp, “if you want me to stop. I’ll figure it out.”
“What happens when I think of you?” you asked no one in particular. 
Haechan’s eyebrow furrowed but Mark looked enthusiastic. “Let’s test it. You need to wake up though.” 
“How?” 
The young men fell into silence for a moment.
“I have an idea,” Jaemin mumbled. 
 __________
  The corridors of the place looked like a very high-end hotel. You were following Jaemin with Haechan right after him holding your hand, then Mark behind you, in the utmost silence. Your feet were nude, but the floor wasn’t cold. 
“Where are we going again?” you tried. 
“Shh,” all three boys replied in unison. 
“Geez,” you whispered. 
Haechan’s fingers intertwined with yours were making you feel timid, but you tried to act cool about it.
Who was he? Your lover? Your boyfriend? Someone you loved in the past and you forgot about it?
But looking at his back it felt so familiar. If your mind forgot something, your body surely didn’t, because your fingertips would be able to model Haechan’s back curve in clay in that same instant, and you knew for sure the spots where he had hidden beauty marks.
You felt hot and dizzy.
You’ve never felt like that with Taeyong. It never felt right with him.
Lost in your thoughts, you didnt’ realize the two men in front of you stopped and you hit Haechan’s back with your nose. Mark hit the back of your head. 
“Ouch,” you whispered in unison with him. 
“It’s here,” Jaemin looked at you all. 
You had no idea what to expect when he said here, but a green and purple room wasn’t it. 
A sense of deja-vu filled you, and you walked behind what was a hotel counter. In front of you was the door of an elevator and on the sides of the room were six golden doors, three on each side. 
You eyed the pamphlets on the counter and the old-fashioned pastel pink telephone. For some reason, you pulled at a drawer and saw two pairs of white gloves. 
“I have one of these!” you exclaimed, searching for Haechan’s eyes, a weird heat entering your body and making your legs feel like jelly.
He nodded as if he knew. “I gave it to you,” he explained. 
“What is this place?” you walked around feeling like you’ve been there before.
“Here is where you come every night and I sort you in dreams,” Jaemin replied, leaning on the counter. 
“Why do I not remember you?” you asked. 
“Because we have no connection. That’s how it is supposed to be,” he replied, the last phrase sounding like a critique as he eyed his colleague.
Haechan scratched the back of his head. 
The pieces were all starting to go together in that weird puzzle. You felt frightened but mostly you were just afraid that you’d wake up and realize that none of that was real. You were afraid that the second your life finally felt right you’d wake up in a nightmare called reality. 
“What now?” you wondered. 
“You need to go through one of the rooms, dream something, and then you’ll wake up. At that point, please try to think of Haechan as much as possible to see if he can-” Mark started then interrupted himself as if he also realized how insane that sounded, “-appear in your reality.” 
“What if nothing happens?” 
“Just go by your day and go to sleep normally. You’ll be here next time too. We’ll wait,” Haechan murmured. He was close to you, and you shivered.
You didn’t want to go. What if you couldn’t see him anymore?
“Can you come with me in the dream?” you asked timidly. 
“That’s dangerous,” Jaemin replied for Haechan. 
“I can do it,” the latter said. 
“Everything in the dream might attack you. You’re not her Dream Sorter anymore,” the other added. 
Haechan ignored him and held your hand again pulling you towards a random room. 
“Haechan if it’s dangerous-” you started but he didn’t let you finish.
He opened the door, and the light engulfed you. 
 You opened your eyes in front of a huge window - your parents’ house. Your nude feet were now on the tiles of the balcony on the second floor and the sun was setting behind the horizon. 
“Haechan?” you tried to call, but the silence was heavy, not even a single car making noise down the street. 
“I’m coming up,” a voice announced, and you looked down and screamed, seeing Haechan hanging from the balcony rails. 
“What the hell happened to you?” you asked, one hand on top of your mouth before you could lean down to give him a hand. 
“I can manage,” he replied with a chuckle, and you watched him jump over the rail, and onto the balcony. 
Haechan sighed heavily, not looking at you and walking towards the bench instead. You didn’t remember your parents having, a bench on their balcony but you were glad it was there.
It was a warm sunset, and your balcony was lit with orange hues. The thud of him sitting down made you jolt a bit then you sighed too. 
“Let me see,” you ordered, placing yourself in front of him, grabbing his chin, and lifting his face up. 
Haechan’s eyes were shining as he looked at you from under his fringe. 
You gulped, pupils moving to look at his busted lip first then the bloody eyebrow. “How did you get this?” 
Haechan chuckled again. “Unfriendly situations. This dream will be destroyed, I’m afraid.”
You felt sorry for him but then all of a sudden, he smirked and moved his head down to catch your fingertip with his mouth, placing a quick soft kiss on it. 
“Eye!” you slid your arm away and he chuckled once. His lip cut opened more, and he winced soon after, letting his tongue go over it. 
"Shit," he mumbled. 
“You look terrible,” you walked away and entered the house to grab the medication. When you passed the bathroom mirror you didn’t want to look at the way your eyes were blown out. Or think about the way your fist was guarding the skin you felt his lips on. 
When you exited on the balcony again, Haechan was resting with his head on the wall and with closed eyes. You moved slowly, looking at the way the setting sun danced on his skin until you noticed him smiling.
“You sure love staring at me,” he said in a low voice. 
“I wasn’t-” 
“You’re talking with a Dream Sorter. We have eyes on the back.” 
“No, you don’t,” you placed the stuff on the bench near him.
Haechan opened his eyes right when you leaned down to press the piece of wet cotton on his eyebrow making you inhale more sharply than normal. He smiled a bit but only for a split second because soon after he opened his mouth to inhale too, feeling the disinfectant on his wounds. 
“Fuck."
“Just a moment,” you mumbled, going from his brow to the lip, lightly pouting and blowing on his wounds to give him a bit of relief. 
Haechan stared at your mouth, and you shivered feeling his hands creep around your thighs and pull you towards him a bit. 
“Hey,” you warned him. 
“Need to anchor me. The pain is unbearable,” he whispered amused, and the movement shifted his fringe on the forehead again. You lifted one hand and passed it through it, pushing it back to not let it touch the brow. Haechan gulped and closed his eyes for a brief moment at the gesture. 
“Y/N, I think I am going to kiss you now.” 
His low tone made you gulp.
“You can’t. Your lip is wounded.” 
“Then you kiss me.” 
You looked down at his mouth then quickly away, fumbling with the plasters in your hand. 
“Stop joking.” 
Haechan pouted with a loud “hm.”
“But I’m hurt. I just want a little cute healing peck.” 
His fingers around your bare thighs got tighter though and the way his eyes shone in the dusk didn’t seem cute to you. 
Rolling your eyes to the side you suddenly leaned down and kissed his temple for a moment. 
Haechan exhaled, thrilled, and slid his hands upwards on your body, over your ass until reaching the curve of your back. 
“On the cheek too,” he ordered. 
You scoffed but the tingles on your lips were screaming for more, so you felt his soft skin again. He chuckled at the peck and chuckled again as you kissed his forehead too. When you reached his nose, he lost patience and pulled you down on himself, mouths hungrily on each other. Your knees bent for you to straddle his lap and his hands felt cold as he cupped your face and went around your jaw and behind your neck. 
“Haechan,” you breathed out, breaking the kiss. “Your lip.” 
He smirked. “What about it?” 
You blinked fast and lifted one finger to touch the corner of his mouth where the skin was pristine. 
“It’s- not there anymore,” you mumbled. Then you looked at his brow where the wound was slowly closing in front of your eyes. 
“You!” 
He chuckled delightedly. 
“You can do this? You let me medicate you on purpose!” 
He shook his head and hid his face in your bosom. “It’s not me healing it. It’s your kisses.” 
"You're a brat!" 
"And you love it."
"I do not."
"Your heart is beating so fast right now."
"It's because I'm mad!"
He lifted his face from your breasts and looked up mischievously. 
"And I can feel your pulse on my thigh. You're throbbing."
His words made you widen your eyes and you tried to pull away from him but in vain. 
His crystalline laughter filled your ears as his arms didn't let you budge a centimetre. 
"Can I get you off?" he whispered, and you realized too late that you whined back. 
"Is that a yes?" 
You closed your eyes and gulped. You shook your head. Then you nodded. 
Haechan clicked his tongue. 
"Words."
"Yes," you breathed out, fingers slowly grabbing his shirt tighter and tighter as if preparing for something. 
"Why are you so tense?" he soothed your spine, making you bounce on his leg a few times as if it could help you relax. 
"Alright, I can make you soften up," he announced and just like that your core slid forwards on his jeans once and you let out a single silent oh. 
Haechan imitated you amused. "Oh?", his hands cupping your ass and guiding your movement. 
"Feels good?" 
You whined once again, your breathing increasing in pace at each roll of your hips on his leg. 
"Yeah," you replied softly. 
"Show me how good it feels," he ordered, gripping your body, sliding one cool hand under your shirt until cupping your breast. 
You bit your lower lip, frustrated, and propped yourself up a bit, rolling your hips on his thigh every second quicker than the previous. 
Haechan's amusement was palpitant and you wanted to make it turn his expression into a mess as well. Leaning down, you attached your lips to his neck, kissing it slowly and reaching his ear where your soft moans could vibrate into his body. You felt his cock twitch near your thigh and your palm descended to it after carefully palming his torso. 
It was so sinful that it made you dizzy. There was something so desperate in the way you'd chase your high on him, not even taking your clothes off, as if not having the force to do that. And him too, letting his head back on the wall, looking at you with hooded eyes and breathing out faster under your hand touching him. 
As if reading your mind, you opened your eyes to Haechan's whispering. 
"I like the way you look like that. So naughty. On your balcony for everyone to see what a needy girl you are. For Jaemin to see too."
"Shut up-," you resorted, your hand quick to cup his balls, making him choke. His hips bucked up into nothing and the slap on your ass was so loud that it probably resonated in all the neighbourhood. 
You whined loudly and rested your forehead on his shoulder as his palm gripped the softness of your skin. 
"You liked that?" he asked, and you exchanged a messy look, lips brushing against each other, drinking in his breath. 
"Yeah," you repeated mindlessly. "I'm close, so close-," 
"Hm, cum all over my thigh."
Like a spell, as if he actually had magical powers, you whined loudly and seized up, limbs trembling as if electricity danced through them. Haechan held you tight against his body, hands rubbing your back and sides, hushed praises against your neck. 
"We're not-," you tried to speak as you came down your thigh. "We're not talking about this."
"I will not shut up about this," his smile vibrated on your lips. 
You swallowed and helplessly tried to get off his leg without success. 
"I think-," you licked your lower lip, "It’s time for me to wake up.” 
Haechan hummed and grabbed your chin, making you kiss him deeply. 
“Think about me,” he murmured and before realizing you gasped, grabbing at your slippery bathtub, trying to understand what the hell just happened. 
 __________
  It took you a while to get dry and just sit on your bed, thinking back at your dream. It felt so real that you couldn’t have made up all of that yourself. Haechan said to think of him, and you were thinking but nothing really was happening.
You groaned and fell down on the bed. 
It was already late in the night and the other option was to fall asleep and supposedly meet them in the weird hotel Lobby to discuss. But the nap you took in the tub got rid of all the tiredness. 
“Haechan,” you started to call out then you felt stupid and stopped. 
How was it possible that when you were sleeping everything felt so real yet when you were awake it felt like you were just losing your mind? 
What did they mean with think of Haechan? You’ve been thinking of him so many times, yet nothing happened before.  
You huffed and let yourself fall back on the bed. The dark ceiling would get illuminated by the car lights outside, passing by. 
You lifted one hand up in the air.
“Haechan,” you murmured, imagining his fingers gently sliding between yours, from your palm up to meet your fingertips. 
You inhaled and exhaled deeply, almost feeling his touch. 
But he never appeared, and your hand remained empty. 
 __________
  “Listen, my shift is over,” Jaemin lifted one eyebrow towards Mark who was standing legs wide open and hands on his hips, like some sort of airport dad, in front of the golden door you and Haechan disappeared through. 
“Is the dream over? Have you seen it?” Mark asked. 
Jaemin shivered. “Not yet. Will see it later. Not excited to do it. But she’s awake.” 
Mark crossed his arms on his chest. “Where’s Haechan then? He should be back here by now.” 
“Maybe he did it,” Jaemin straightened his back, surprised.
The silence engulfed them both for a moment.
Mark giggled once.
Then chuckled.
Then laughed. A hyena laugh to resonate in the whole Lobby.
“He did it. That son of a bitch.”
 ­__­­­­­­­­___________
 Haechan opened his eyes to nothing, and panic washed over him.
Was he dead? 
But he could feel his ass sitting on something and when he tentatively felt around, he could make sense of a shoe. Then he leaned forwards and he hit his forehead on something hard. He yelped and tried to put a hand on it to cool the pain when his elbow hit some kind of box, and something fell on his face. 
The closet door opened in an instant with a bang and Haechan could see you, baseball bat in your hands, through the lace of the thongs that fell on his eyes. 
“No fucking way,” you murmured. “What the fuck are you doing in my closet?” 
Haechan quickly put away the underwear and tried to get up, but his head hit the top shelf this time. “Shit,” he mumbled. 
You could just stand there, mouth open and eyes wide, trying to understand if you were still dreaming or not. 
When Haechan managed to crawl, one sneaker in half of his foot, and got up in front of you, you exhaled. 
“Hey,” he said then winced, touching his forehead where a little bump was starting to grow. “Too many injuries in the past few hours.” 
“Can you cure it?” you asked. 
Haechan blinked back. “Well, not this time, no.” 
You both stood there for a moment as if in a daze, then as soon as you let the baseball bat fall to the ground Haechan’s arms wrapped around your body. 
The tears collected in your eyes on their own and your breath went missing. 
“I can’t believe you’re here,” you whispered in the crook of his neck. His scent felt so real and his body so firm.
Haechan was real and he was there. 
“I know,” he replied, probably as shocked. 
“Are you okay?” you pulled away quickly to grab his face with both of your hands and analyse his features. Haechan let you fondle his cheeks and rub on his skin. 
“Besides getting a lip cut, an eyebrow cut, hitting my head twice? Yes. I think I’m good.” 
“How? How is this-” you stuttered. 
“I think-” Haechan started, “like that damned glove,” he inhaled, “you just didn’t let me go.” 
 __________­
 The morning felt warmer. You did not know if it was because of the ray of sun shining through the windows or because of Haechan’s - very real and very present - arms around your body. 
"Fuck, I slept so much. What did I miss?" you mumbled. 
Haechan rubbed his sleepy hands on your back. "This dick."
"Thank God. I thought I missed something big."
He clicked his tongue. “I will tackle you.” 
You smiled, nuzzling your face into Haechan’s chest even more. “I can’t believe you’re here. What if I’m dreaming?” 
Haechan’s warm palms on your back made you exhale pleasantly. “Would that be so bad?” 
You looked up at him, resting your chin on his chest. “No. If this is a dream, the only request I have is to never wake up.” 
1K notes · View notes
writemekpop · 10 months
Text
Ice Cold | Huang Renjun
Summary: Your cold boyfriend Renjun has to learn how to give you the loving you need.   
Genre: Established relationship AU, angst, suggestive, fuck boy (ish) Renjun
Word Count: 0.6k
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You slumped onto the bench and began to sob. 
Renjun approached you, his deep brown eyes inspecting your face. 
"Who did this to you?” he said. His expression was stern.  
"You know who did this,” you snapped, then sighed. Renjun probably had no idea what he’d done. 
Renjun stood stiffly. After a minute of watching you cry, he pulled off his black overcoat – and put it over your shoulders.  
Surprised, you snuggled into the coat, inhaling his smell – old books and ash. 
“I’m not very – good with intimacy”. Renjun said, patting your shoulder awkwardly. “I don’t always… understand people, but I know I’m the reason you’re crying. I’m sorry I hurt you." 
You said nothing. 
Renjun bristled. "Sorry about… storming off like that. It was a nice gesture, I just… don't do well with birthday parties. Or surprises.” 
You scoffed. "You called my auntie an old hag."
Renjun's lips twitched in the smallest of smiles. 
You sighed. You already knew you were going to forgive him.
“I suppose this calls for an apology hug.” Renjun held out his arms to embrace you.
You jumped out of his reach, shaking your head. 
Renjun stared at you, puzzled eyes wide. 
"Renjun, do you love me?" 
Renjun's mouth opened and closed. His eyes darted left and right. 
His voice was quiet when he spoke. "Y/n, I've already admitted that I do. Must you keep making me repeat it?"
"Renjun!" 
He pressed his fingers to his temples. “I’ll never understand this obsession with confessing our feelings-“ 
“For me,” you insisted. “Please."
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Ask me for anything else. I’ll do the washing up for a year, I’ll have ten birthday parties…” He clicked his fingers. “I’ll apologise to your aunt!” 
You sniffed. “I didn’t know it was so hard for you.” You turned away, forcing the tears down. “Don’t bother then.”  
You felt Renjun’s eyes on you.
Finally, he let out a strangled groan.  
"Fine," he said, smoothing down the front of his shirt. "I love you." He patted the left side of his chest. "If there's anything inside here, it belongs to you." 
You couldn't help but grin at your eccentric boyfriend. "I'll take that hug now."
Renjun smiled too, and wrapped his arms around you. You rested your chin on his shoulder, feeling safe in his embrace. 
"Let's go home,” you said. “There should be some cake left."
You turned around, but Renjun grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him. He leant forwards and kissed you. 
You were so stunned you barely remembered to close your eyes.   
He held you tight as you kissed, one hand wrapping round your waist and the other caressing your hair. To your surprise, Renjun’s whole body was trembling, a vibration under his skin. You realised he cared about this even more than you. For someone who didn't like physical affection, sometimes Renjun swept you away with the intensity of his love. 
When he pulled away, he whipped on his black coat and straightened his scarf, acting as if nothing had happened. 
You touched your lips, unable to hide your shock. 
"Shall we?" Renjun held out his arm for you. 
You linked your arm with his. 
Renjun smiled. "Cake sounds wonderful." 
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811 notes · View notes
meiozis · 1 year
Text
full of love (and stars)
♡ pairing: haechan x reader ♡ genre: friends/roommates to lovers, light angst ♡ word count: 6k ♡ warnings: mentions of alcohol and drinking, slow burn-ish, a little sad (reader is going through it), yearning
a/n: time is a flat circle where it's always past midnight, but somehow it's still been very long since i last posted, but (mamma mia) here we go again, back on my little insomnia fueled writing spree &lt;3 i hope you like it, i hope you’re having the loveliest of days/nights, and if you have any thoughts or feedback about this i’d love to know <3
masterlist
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Most nights go like this. You lie in bed next to the open window, the orange glow of a nearby street lamp illuminating the ceiling in an almost perfect rectangle. You count the passing cars and listen in on the conversations of strangers walking by, making up stories about them in your head. Where they might be going, why they’re out so late, and sometimes you hear the same people on multiple occasions. Although your apartment is on the third floor, the building is in diabolical enough shape that the paper thin walls let you listen in on the secrets of anyone walking past on the street below.
You don’t have it in you to complain about the living conditions though. Your room might barely fit your twin sized bed, and the kitchenette might only have one working burner, but at least it’s in a fairly good neighborhood, and most places are a walkable distance away. It was supposed to only accommodate you and your roommate for your college years, but as life has it you both got stuck. You, without a job after graduation, and your roommate, who works all kinds of odd jobs so you can pay rent.
But Haechan never made you feel bad about occupying the matchbox sized room in the apartment. You wonder if you ever thanked him for it.
Most nights go like this. You watch the seconds tick by on the clock above the door, silent in motion as you count along in your head.  Sometimes the minute arm gets stuck at the bottom, and you wonder when you last changed the batteries. Then it skips from 6 to 9, and you forget about needing to buy new ones for another minute, until the vicious cycle comes to a new beginning at 6.
There are times when you get so lost in counting that the inside of your head feels like rush hour on the subway. It gets louder and louder, until the deafening cacophony of your own thoughts makes you jump out of bed in a frail attempt at getting away from the noise. It's only then that you notice your soul fraying at the edges, like the hems of a shirt well loved. You feel almost translucent, as if you're looking at your own reflection in the rippling surface of a pond. 
Stumbling over to the bathroom you grip the cold porcelain of the sink and stare at yourself in the mirror in the dark. You try to recall your own features, how long your hair might be, how tired your eyes look, and how much of a stranger you've been to your own reflection. You rub your face, harsher than you should, and let your feet carry you out to the hallway.
Shoes stand by the front door in a crooked line, and you put on the first pair you identify as your own. You grab a jacket and your keys, walking out into the hallway and locking the door behind you before setting off into the night.
You take the stairs and push the creaking door open to step into the spring night. The air is cold, with sharp teeth and loud howls as it blows past you, and you can't help but stand there. Something akin to déjà vu creeps up in the back of your throat, and you wish you could throw up to get rid of it. The cold air hugs you tight, in a vain attempt to keep you warm, but you feel a shiver climbing up from your toes to the top of your head making your teeth chatter. You finally bring yourself to put on the jacket, realizing in the flickering light of a street lamp that you accidentally grabbed one of Haechan's. It doesn't bother you enough to track up back to the third floor, so you shrug to yourself before taking a step, then another, seemingly aimlessly but with a sure destination in mind.
Most nights go like this. You count the cars and the seconds, keep secrets for strangers, ponder your existence as if you were looking at the sun through a kaleidoscope, and fall into the crack of the couch looking for loose change and a reminder of who you once were. Then you put on shoes and leave the house still in your pajamas, trekking through the empty streets towards your beloved 24/7 diner. It became a habit somehow, to end up there on sleepless nights, with a stack of pancakes and bottomless coffee on the table in front of you. You don't mind the silent walk under a blanket of stars and fluorescent storefronts. The city flickers in your eyes as you wait for the lamp to turn green at the crosswalk, even though you can clearly tell that there's no cars in sight.
The streets are mostly empty, save for a few people hurrying home, and a group of what seems to be college students waddling past you, seemingly lost in their own world. You step over a few cracks in the sidewalk and pull up the zipper of the jacket to your chin, then stuff your hands in the pockets to hide them from the cold air. It smells like Haechan, aftershave and some perfume that's way too strong. But it comforts you in an odd way, reminds you of all the nights you spent out together during your school years, getting drunk and talking until your mouth felt like cotton. You wonder why he kept living with you.
Lost in thought, you almost walk past the diner, but the distinct buzzing of the neon sign above the entrance grabs your attention just in time. You glance up at the blinking letters before stepping towards the front door and pushing it open. The air inside is warm, and smells like a Sunday morning in your childhood kitchen. You let your eyes wander for a second, noting that it's only the usual customers around. It's comforting in a way, the silent agreement between all the late night patrons, a few barely there nods as you make your way to your usual spot. The booth sits tucked away in a corner under a faintly glowing emergency exit sign that’s pointing to the front of the diner. The cracked faux leather squeaks as you take your seat, shimmying out of Haechan’s jacket and folding it in half before placing it next to you. You study the scratches on the table for a second before reaching for the menu, picking up the laminated piece of paper. You skim through it, acting interested as if you couldn’t recite the whole thing from memory.
Someone slides into your peripheral, so you move your gaze from the menu to the floor, noticing an unfamiliar pair of sneakers, followed by a very baggy pair of jeans, then an apron with the name of the diner on it. You snap out of your haze when you realize the person next to you is trying to take your order.
“What can I get for you?” He presumably repeats himself when you finally look up.
He seems out of place somehow, and you realize you haven’t seen a new person working the night shift ever since you started coming here. He stands there silently, a notepad and a pen clutched in his hands. He reaches up to push his hair back and flicks his gaze away as a blush creeps up on his cheeks, so you take it as your cue that you’ve been silent for too long. He awkwardly clears his throat when you look back at the menu instead.
“I’ll get the, uhm…” in that moment it hits you that he has no way of knowing what the usual means. You think for a moment before responding. “Have you eaten here before?”
He’s visibly taken aback by the question, his eyebrows flying to the top of his forehead before he regains his composure.
“The blueberry pancakes are quite good. I mean-” he clears his throat. Again. “If that’s what you’re asking.”
He focuses on his notepad, and holds the pen tight enough that his fingers turn white at the tips. You let the silence go on for a little too long once more.
“Okay.” You place the menu on the table and push it away from you. “I’ll get the pancakes then.” “Syrup?” He scribbles on the paper that he’s still holding onto for dear life as if it’s his ticket out of this conversation. Well, you guess it is.
“Mhm. And some coffee.” He finally looks at you again, only to raise an eyebrow in surprise. You mimic his expression, and he immediately starts writing again. “That’ll be all, thanks.”
He finally lowers his arms and you get a chance to look at his nametag. Mark. With an awkward nod he shuffles away to the kitchen, almost bumping into Haechan who’s emerging from the swing door with a full tray in his hands. He makes his way towards the front, right to a booth filled with college students studying for some exam. He easily unloads all the food and drinks on the table, twirling the tray excessively just to entertain himself. As he turns around to return to the kitchen he spots you in your seat and walks over with a little too much pep in his step for it to be almost 2 am.
He sits down across from you with a heavy sigh, leaning back against the red seat and placing the tray on the table between you. You study his face in the dim light, the bags under his eyes, and how his hair has gotten long enough to hang in his eyes. He closes them for a long second, then slowly blinks them open to look at you. He gently nudges your feet under the table and nods his head at you. “Couldn’t sleep?” You shake your head no. “Did someone take your order already? I can get you the usual if you want.”
“Some guy was here. Mark,” he rolls his eyes and you smile at him. “Had to tell someone what I wanted, it was crazy.”
“Is that my jacket?” You both glance at the seat next to you, and you nod at him in response. “Cute.”
“Shut up. I was too lazy to turn the lights on.”
“Of course you were,” he replies, which prompts you to kick him under the table. Mark arrives at that exact moment. He stands next to you just as awkwardly as the first time, but now he’s holding a steaming plate of pancakes and a lovely, watery cup of coffee in his hands. He hesitates before placing your meal in front of you, then hurries away without saying another word.
“Weird,” Haechan scoffs with a laugh.
You push the plate to the middle of the table, almost knocking off the tray in the process, and hand Haechan your fork. He gives you a weird look, but then shrugs and digs into the pancakes anyway. He hums with his mouth full, then points the utensil at the stack and gives you a thumbs up before taking another bite. You sit there in comfortable silence, and you wonder if this is weird, the way your heart swells as you watch him eat.
-
Most nights go like this. You toss and turn in bed, lost in a sea of blankets, and you suddenly feel like you’re drowning. The walls are closing in on you, and you hear strangers laughing outside your window, and suddenly it’s too much. Everything is. The emptiness in your chest multiplies, and you wonder why the city feels so lonely at night.
You stumble over to the bathroom, and look at yourself in the mirror, but all you can see is specks of toothpaste. You should clean it tomorrow.
The elevator dings in the lobby. You wonder if someone is coming or leaving at this hour; somewhere around 3 am. A bird is singing outside, and the gentle wind carries its voice into the apartment. It’s a weird part of the night, where the world is simultaneously awake and asleep, almost in limbo. 
You find yourself in the kitchen, sitting at the tiny table and staring out the window. You count the stars and the planes flying past, while listening to whatever little song the bird is chirping tirelessly outside. You think about whether it’s the same bird every night, and if it ever gets tired of singing. 
You hear footsteps from behind you and jump in your seat, only to realize that it’s your roommate in the hallway. He stands in the faint light oozing from the bathroom, his hair sticking out in every possible direction.
Haechan isn’t surprised to see you awake in the middle of the night. He’s more than used to your nocturnal existence, you quiet footsteps around the apartment, and getting a text around 4am that you forgot your keys and locked yourself out of the building. He knows it’s silly that he has his notifications turned on just for you. (He couldn’t sleep well when he put his phone on silent.) He watches you sit in the kitchen, blurry at the edges and the orange halo of the streetlamp around your head. You turn in your seat and give him a tired smile that he can’t help but return. It makes his chest feel heavy, a void that’s been steadily growing recently.
“Couldn’t sleep?” You shake your head no.
He stands there, unsure of, well, most things – if not everything. You look distant, almost transparent, and he’s tempted to walk up to you, hold your face in his hands and ask you if you’re okay. You’re friends, sure, you live together, and you’ve shared the same bed more times than not. He’s cleaned you up after long nights of drinking, and washed your hair when you broke your arm and couldn’t get your cast wet. He even signed it with his name and a lopsided smiley face.
“Wanna go to the convenience store?” He asks, and you nod hesitantly.
-
Neither of you bother to change out of your pajamas, knowing fully well that you’re only going a few blocks away. It’s been a while since you last went there together, and the walk feels longer this time. You can’t tell if it’s because of the silence, the cold of the night, or the itch in your palm. You feel like you should say something, maybe apologize for being a weird roommate, or ask him about his day, but your tongue feels numb. You look over at Haechan, who seems lost in thought, his eyes trained on the cracks in the sidewalk and his hands hidden deep in his pockets. His hair sticks out from under the hood of his jacket – the one you accidentally put on when going to the diner –, and his glasses threaten to slip off the tip of his nose, so he pushes them up. You walk in perfect harmony, only one pair of footsteps echoing in the empty street until you arrive at the store. You've been there countless times before, and the quiet hum of the coolers by the entrance puts a fond smile on your face. Haechan walks ahead and grabs two cans of soda – the one you always used to get –, then walks further into the store, right towards the snacks. You go after him, and even though you're only a few steps behind, by the time you catch up to him he's crouching in front of a stuffed shelf, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration.
"What are we looking for?" You ask quietly as you lower yourself next to him.
"That candy we ate a lot…" He trails off, focused on scanning all the items.
"The really sour one?" He hums in response.
The fluorescent lights illuminate the gentle curve of his nose, his glasses once again on the brink of falling off. He doesn’t bother fixing them this time. 
“You can help me find it, you know,” he looks at you from the corners of his eyes, raising his eyebrows, and a smile .
“I am helping,” you scoff and roll your eyes, bumping your shoulders against his.
You catch him off guard, and his eyes widen as he loses his balance and lands right on his butt, but not before trying to hold onto you for support and pulling you to the ground with him. It’s quiet for a second, then you both burst out laughing, and for a second you catch a glint of something in his eyes that wasn’t there before. You sit with your backs against a row of shelves, still quietly giggling under your breath. When you look over at Haechan, his eyes sparkling behind his glasses and his cheeks flushed, it squeezes your soul in a way only nostalgia can. There’s something beautiful about him, about the way he looks at you so gently, yet doesn’t hesitate to pull you to the ground when you push him. Something about the way he picks up your favorite drinks and snacks without a second thought, and about how he lets his shoulder gently rest against yours as you sit on the dirty floor.
He looks back to the rows of snacks in front of you, and turns to kneel with a loud aha. He reaches to the back of the lowest shelf, pulling out a lone bag of sour candy, then jumps to his feet excitedly.
“Guess who saves the day again?” He beams down at you, and reaches a hand to help you up.
“Right,” you take his hand and let him pull you up. “Would you have found it if I didn’t push you? I don’t think so.”
He rolls his eyes at you but doesn’t let go of your hand, so you get in his face in the same annoying way he always does to you.
“You don’t have to thank me, I’m always happy to help,” you say with a playful lilt to your voice, but the proximity makes Haechan gulp loudly.
He steps away, his back bumping against a shelf and knocking a few bags of chips off. He hurriedly picks them up, and nods his head towards the front of the store. You let him walk ahead, and he places the drinks and the candy in front of the cashier. Haechan reaches deep inside one of his pockets and pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the counter, a few rolling off the edge. He waits patiently for the change, then scoops all the items into his arms.
Stepping out into the night feels different this time. The air feels sticky, coating you in something akin to longing that you won’t be able to wash off for days. It coats your tongue whenever you try to speak, and you wonder what it is about all the stars and the moon staring down at you that makes you feel so lost. The sky glitters in Haechan’s eyes, and you get lost counting the stars in them for a second too long.
-
The walk home feels oddly long, all the words that die on your tongue weighing you down. Haechan waits for you patiently whenever you fall behind, but somehow that ends up making you feel worse. You immerse yourself in all the intricacies of the sidewalk, so much so that you end up running into him in front of your building. You mumble a sorry, to which he only replies with a small nod of his head as he fishes his keys out of his pockets.
The need to break down crying squeezes your throat, and you blink away a few tears while Haechan opens the front door and pushes the call button for the elevator in the dark lobby.
“Too lazy to walk,” he shrugs when you give him a questioning look.
You quickly wipe your eyes with your sleeves before the elevator door dings open. Haechan holds the door open with his hand while you squeeze past him, directing your gaze at the grimy floor once again. His eyes are burning a hole into the side of your head, and he stands next to you motionlessly. You try to reach past him to push the button for your floor, but he stands in your way and blocks the panel with his body..
“Wha-”
“We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong,” he says simply, crossing his arms in front of his chest. You roll your eyes at him, and he copies your pose before squinting at you. “Be less obvious next time.”
“Oh my god, you’re so annoying,” you huff at him and try to step out of the elevator, but Haechan closes the doors before you can make your escape. “Dude! What if someone calls the elevator?”
“Their problem, not mine.” You let out a frustrated grunt. “We can be here all night, or you can, you know, tell me what the fuck is wrong?”
He stands there so calmly, his arms still crossed as he leans back against the wall behind him. You feel small under his gaze, and a little stupid, too. You didn’t expect him to not notice, of course, but you didn’t expect him to bring it up either.
“Can we go home?” The question comes out as a whisper. “Please?”
He sighs, but drops his stance and gives in, finally pressing the button to the third floor. You thank him just as quietly, and try your best to disappear inside your jacket.
Haechan holds the door open with his hand while you get out, then opens the front door for you the same way. You both kick off your shoes in the hallway, and you beeline for your room, but can’t help but look back at him. He stands there, looking defeated and exhausted, and it squeezes your heart, a gentle yet firm grasp, a constant reminder of something much bigger. He fishes a can of soda out of his pocket and holds it out for you.
“And what about the candy?” your voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, but you mask it with a quiet laugh.
“Keep forgetting who I’m dealing with,” a tired smile plays on his lips, faint, but enough for now. He walks closer and holds out both items this time.
“It’s only fun if we share it.”
So you end up sitting together on Haechan’s bed, cross legged and hunched over, the bag of sour candy ripped open between you. It’s dark in the room, save for the few squares of orange on the ceiling thanks to the street lamps. His eyes sparkle underneath his glasses even in the dim light.
It’s been a while since you last spent any significant amount of time inside of his room, usually only sticking your head in the door to ask if he needs anything from the store. It’s a lot cleaner than you’d remembered it to be, and that little detail alone makes it feel unfamiliar.
You study the pattern of his bedsheets, trying to ignore how much it smells like his jacket.
“Do you want one that’s not sour?” He asks suddenly, his mouth still full.
“But aren’t these all-” You look up at him, and he’s barely a few inches away, a piece of candy that he’s licked all the sour coating off between his teeth. He wiggles his eyebrows at you, and you can’t help but laugh as you push him away with a finger on his forehead. “Gross.”
“Your loss,” he shrugs, then pops another piece into his mouth, his face immediately scrunching up from the taste.
Something about the moment feels so fragile, as if you could break it with one wrong move. So you decide to stay still instead, a faint smile on your lips as you watch Haechan struggle with a lemon flavored candy. He cracks open his soda to wash it down, and it almost bubbles over into the sheets, but he slurps the drink up before it could spill.
You study his face, connect the moles on his cheeks with your eyes, watch him dig through the remaining snack. He grins at you as he raises his hand in front of your face, a green piece of candy pinched between his fingers.
“Found another apple one for you,” he wiggles it in front of your lips, then pulls away with a playful smile. “Open wide, here comes the airplane!”
Something about the moment feels so fragile, as if you could break it with one wrong move. Your body aches, itches to lurch forward and kiss him, let him steal all the remaining air from your lungs. Instead, you let him drop the candy in your mouth, grimace when the sourness of it coats your tongue, scrunch your nose and pucker your lips. You catch Haechan glancing at them, and he visibly gulps when he trails his gaze up to your eyes.
For a second you let yourself imagine what would’ve happened if you made a wrong move.
-
It’s one of those nights where the smell of spring is heavy in the air. The sky is an endless void, all the stars hidden behind a wall of clouds. You know it’s going to rain, but you leave without an umbrella regardless, opting for Haechan’s jacket instead. He made a few jokes about hiding his jackets away in his room, but then in true Haechan fashion he started leaving that one specifically on your designated hanger by the front door.
It’s not cold enough for you to wear it, but as you walk into the street you put it on anyway, snuggling into the comfortable scent of the soft material. It almost makes you feel guilty how a fuzzy jacket makes your chest feel so tight and your heart beat a little faster, how you try to make yourself small enough to get lost in the warm fabric.
The walk to the diner feels a little too long, leaving you too much time to overthink everything and anything possible. When you finally make it there you stand outside, the buzzing neon sign above the door peacefully blinking down at you. With a heavy sigh you push the door open, and you’re immediately greeted by Mark, who’s in the middle of taking someone’s order. You give each other a small smile and a barely there nod as you walk past him to your usual spot, the faux leather creaking as you take a seat. Over the past few weeks you’ve gotten to know each other with Mark, making small conversation whenever the place was empty, and you could finally say the usual when ordering. You consider him somewhat of a friend now, even if in a weird, situational way, given that in your mind his existence is inherently tied to the diner.
You shimmy out of the jacket and place it on the seat next to you, then pick up the menu while you wait for someone to take your order. A few drops of rain knock on the window next to you, and you lazily rest your head in your palm as you watch the beads of water race to the bottom of the glass. You wonder if it’s still going to be raining by the time you decide to go home.
You try to focus on your own face in the glass, unfamiliar and even more tired than usual. The sight makes you feel uneasy, so you count the scratches on the table instead, until a familiar pair of sneakers slide into your peripheral, followed by baggy jeans and an apron. You’re about to recite your order to Mark when your eyes widen in surprise as you realize that instead of his notepad and pen he’s holding a steaming plate of blueberry pancakes and a cup of coffee. 
“The usual?” He asks with a warm smile as he places everything on the table.
You return his expression and thank him, but when you reach for your coffee you notice that he’s still standing there.
“Everything cool?” You ask him.
“Oh? Yeah, sorry, I just-” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Nevermind.”
“Dude, calm down,” you motion at the seat opposite of you for him to sit down. He hesitates before doing so. “What’s up?”
You take a bite of your food and watch him fidget in his seat, the tips of his ears turning pink, then the color slowly creeps into his cheeks.
“Are you and Haechan… You know…” He trails off, his eyes nervously scanning your face..
You raise an eyebrow at him before taking another bite.
“Are you guys, like, dating?” His question makes you choke on a piece of pancake, sending you into a coughing fit. You finally manage to take a sip of the coffee and wash the food down. “Yo, I’m so sorry, I just thought- You just always look at each other like that.”
“Could you be any less specific?” You truly feel at your wit’s end from the conversation.
“Dude, I dunno, just like… Full of love. I don’t know!”
“Did you have to say love like that? Gross.”
He groans in frustration, but then another customer calls for a waiter, and you can see the relief in Mark’s eyes. He flashes you an apologetic smile before hurrying away from your table, leaving you with even more thoughts than you arrived with. Suddenly you hope that Haechan is too busy hanging out with the kitchen staff to come out front.
You sit over your plate of half eaten, now cold pancakes, your mind racing fast enough that you barely feel like a passenger in your own body. You connect the squished blueberries, thinking about the stars in the sky, and the moles on his cheeks. Full of… love. You wish you were full of pancakes instead.
Sighing loudly, you push the plate away from you and lean back in your seat, closing your eyes in hopes of a moment of peace. Rain knocks on the window, louder than before, and you weigh your options – staying, and potentially having to look Haechan in the eyes, or running home in pouring rain.
A loud groan slips past your lips when you open your eyes, and you finally make up your mind, grabbing the jacket next to you and slipping out of the booth to hurry outside. The rain is colder than you expect it to be, quickly soaking your hair and your shirt, along with the jacket clutched under your arm. You close your eyes and tilt your head back, let the drops of water hit your face as you stand there.
The door of the diner creaks open and the sound makes your heart skip a beat as you realize that it could very well be Haechan. You slowly look to the side and let out a shaky breath when you notice that it’s only a customer. He gives you a weird look, but then opens his umbrella and walks past you without a word.
You walk home in the rain, let the water dissolve your thoughts and wash them into the gutters. The third floor seems an eternity away as you slowly climb up the stairs, leaving wet footprints everywhere. Then you stand in front of your apartment, trying to push your keys into the lock with fingers numb from the cold, when the door swings open, and you come face to face with a wide eyed Haechan. He frowns at you, but steps aside silently to let you in, then locks the door while you kick off your sopping wet shoes.
Then it’s quiet. A heavy quiet, where it feels like the whole world is pushing on your chest at once as you stand there, soaked from head to toe, the chatter of your teeth giving away just how cold you are.
“You’re home,” it comes out as a hoarse whisper.
“It’s my day off,” he says matter of factly, followed by a sigh. There’s an unusual, almost sad curve to his voice. His eyes bore into yours, gently, carefully, and Mark’s words echo in your mind. Full of love. “What?” He asks after another beat of silence.
“Don’t look at me like that,” your voice breaks, and you can feel tears well in your eyes.
Haechan’s face softens, and he steps closer to your shivering figure, wrapping his arms around you. A sob rips from your throat, so you hide your face in his chest, warm against your skin. In a way you’re thankful that he doesn’t ask you to explain what that means.
“You’re freezing,” he says softly, rubbing small circles on your back. “Come on.”
He slides his hands over your shoulders and down your arms, intertwining his fingers with yours to pull you along into his room. He rummages through a few drawers before pulling out one his shirts and a pair of sweatpants, then turns back to you to hand you the clothes. You stare at the items in his hands.
“I have my own clothes,” your eyes flick between his hands and face.
“Right,” he rolls his eyes. “And you have your own jacket, too.”
Your cheeks feel significantly warmer at his words, and you meekly take the clothes from him. He leaves to make you a cup of tea, and you make your way to the bathroom to change out of your wet garments. You throw the discarded items in the washing machine to deal with them later, then dry yourself with your towel before putting on Haechan’s clothes. They smell like him, of course they do, and it makes your head spin.
By the time you go back he’s already sitting on his bed, looking out at the murky city through his window. The sky is already getting lighter, despite the unrelenting rain, and you can make out the distant song of a few birds.
Haechan pats the mattress next to him when he notices you standing in the doorway, and you hesitantly make your way over, sitting the same as him with your back against the wall.
You let yourself get lost in the moment, and lean your head on his shoulder, holding your breath without even noticing. He moves his arm to wrap it around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. Your heart hammers away in your chest, and you can only hope that he can't hear it. For a while neither of you speak, sitting in comfortable silence while your body returns to a normal temperature.
"Are you tired?" You reply with a nod, then lift your head to glance at him.
He's looking at you, and only then do you realize the proximity, your faces close enough that you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to. You swallow hard, watch as his gaze trails from your eyes down to your mouth.
"You're looking at me like that again," you whisper into the air between you.
"Like what?" His eyes stay glued to your lips.
"Full of love."
He finally leans in, kissing you softly, gently, impatiently. You turn to face him, and he places his hand on your neck, his thumb resting on your cheek as he pulls you closer and closer, his lips warm against yours, and you gladly let him steal all the remaining air from your lungs.
-
Most nights go like this. You lie in bed next to Haechan, the orange glow of a nearby street lamp illuminating his gentle features. You count the stars in his eyes, and connect the moles on his cheeks, tracing them with your fingertips, then rest your hand against his warm skin. He smiles at you before turning his head to place a kiss in your palm, then looks back at you, exactly like that – always full of love.
787 notes · View notes
neopuppy · 7 months
Text
Cookie Jar (M)
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pairing. Jeno x female reader x Jaemin
genre. stuck in a dryer AU(because why not), meany step-brothers Jaemin/Jeno, pwop(and yet a plot twist), crack if you squint, M/F
warnings. dubcon(don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable. thanks.), stepcest, profanity, smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.
wc. 7000
now playing. Cookie Jar//Doja Cat
smut warnings. baby oil, pet names, threesome, unprotected vaginal sex, double penetration(one hole), degradation/praise
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“God damn, your step-brothers are so hot.” Your friend says, sucking a hissed breath between her teeth. “I’d do anything to get stuck between those two.”
“You’re sick,” you mutter, slapping her oiled up shoulder, warmed and glistening under the last days of summer sun. “They’re my brothers.”
“Step-brothers.” She shrugs, continuing to eye the two dunking each other underwater with headlocks. “Come on, that’s like… universally a big turn on.”
“Yeah, well not to me.” You say, rolling your eyes before returning to watch the commotion in the pool travel closer, splashing too close to where you lay. “You wouldn’t think they’re so hot if you had to live with them like I do.”
“Believe me, I definitely would.” She sighs, dragging one of the legs of her sunglasses between the seam of her lips. “Don’t know how you resist, I swear they get bigger and buffer every time they visit.”
Now that is true, you silently agree, shielding your eyes from the sun to take in a better look.
“Jaemin’s so broad,” she continues, nibbling at her glasses. “And Jeno’s so lean.. nothing but muscle on him. I bet they get real rough.”
“You need to get laid.” You mumble, focused on the way Jeno’s veins ripple with each squeeze around Jaemin’s neck. The two red in the face from rough-housing for the last hour. “And not by one of my brothers.”
She whines, pouting and sticking out her tongue. “You’re no fun, if you’re not gonna allow me to do it… one of us should.”
Her eyebrows wiggle suggestively, leaning back and fanning herself as they begin to exit the pool. Jeno smiles, eyes more squinted with the sun beating down on his face and tight sculpted chest. “Hey, we’re going to head inside. You want anything?”
The dreamy sigh your friend let’s out doesn’t go unnoticed, whether it be from Jeno’s charm or Jaemin’s perfected way of continuing to not acknowledge your existence; too busy patting his flat smooth stomach dry. It’s all a show of course, he knows he looks too damn good.
“I’m okay, thanks Jeno.”
He nods, throwing an arm around his brother's shoulder to continue their playful match as they pass through the sliding doors back into your house.
“He’s so cute,” your friend continues to fawn over the two, squealing that you must have been a saint in a past life to have ended up in such a lucky situation.
“It’s not luck.” You disagree, shushing her. “Anyway enough of this, I have a date to get ready for tonight, the last thing on my mind is Jeno or Jaemin.”
She sighs, shoulders slumping as she lays back. “Meanwhile, I’ll be home dreaming about your step-brothers railing me into the next universe.”
Yeah, in your dreams they’ve had their way with you once or twice.. maybe more than a couple handful of times. It doesn’t help that neither of them has ever attempted to be discreet about their sexual conquests when they’re home. It’s the main reason you can’t even stare at a phallic shaped object for too long without venturing into lewd thoughts of your step-brothers acting out their usual horny himbo behavior with you.
The headache you currently have for example is all Jaemin’s fault, keeping you up into the late AM hours with two sluts screaming from his bedroom akin to something straight out of a horror film. That’s how you found your way to the kitchen to distract your mind from the deeper throaty moans between their banshee-like cries. Maybe water would quench the thirst closing up your throat, but how to stop the aching heat between your thighs..
“What’re you doing up?” His groggy voice emerged, feet patting their way across kitchen tile toward the open fridge you’ve been standing in front of for a minute now contemplating if you should make a sandwich or not.
“Couldn’t sleep,” you sneer, side-eyeing him with a mean look. Your step-brother's afterglow has his eyes dropping at the corners, smiling lazily as he reaches past you for two water bottles.
“Try counting sheep?” He doesn’t even acknowledge you with a glance, moving to sit at the kitchen island and chug down one of the waters. Not even bothering to pull on a shirt before coming down, because why would you question the bright red and pink scratches lining his upper back. It’s dim enough to make it weird if you mention it, too observant on your part.
“I don’t think that will help.” You say, rolling your eyes and shifting down to the cabinet filled with snacks. “Too much noise, not even sheep can drown that out.”
“Hmm,” Jaemin hums, fixing his messy hair still sweaty at the roots. “That’s weird, I never hear anything.”
“You wouldn’t, would you?”
The sound of a chair scrapes across the tile, feet patting toward the same way he came in from but coming to a stop too close, right behind you.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He whispers, hovering near the back of your ear. “Am I doing something to keep you up at night?”
Jaemin knows you hear everything with your bedroom being right in-between his and Jeno’s. Only a wall apart from the debauchery taking place mere feet away from you. “You’ve never complained before..” he reaches for your hair, tossling it behind you and gathering most down the center of your back.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Hmm, sounds to me like you’re eavesdropping?” You can pick up a smirk in his tone, shivering down your spine as his palm weighs down on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me my sweet innocent little sister is a pervert? What would your father think.”
He presses closer, reaching out in front of you to grab a protein bar, groin rocking against your backside as he leans up to reach for it above both of your heads. “It’s—it’s not that.” You bite down on your lip, eyes squeezing shut to push away the thought of just how thick he feels pressed against your ass. The shape of his length prominent and hot, half-hard where he digs into you.
“Then what is it?” Jaemin grunts, pushing down on your shoulder heavier for leverage to reach higher, lightly grazing the bar with the tips of his fingers. “What’s keeping you up?”
“Neighbors.. neighbors dog.” You lie, shaking away the memories of high-pitched moans and screams buried into pillows. “Barks a lot, near my window.”
Jaemin tsks, successfully pulling down the snack he’s been reaching for but not without aligning the dip between your ass with his growing size. “What a pesky dog.” He leans forward, lips brushing your ear. “Maybe you need some new headphones, I’ll buy you some this weekend. Can’t have my baby sis losing out on precious sleep.”
With one last dig of his hips against yours, he grins, patting the top of your head. “Get some sleep baby.”
You had to grip onto the end of the cabinet to keep your knees from failing you, dropping your head down to suppress a whimper. Jaemin’s so mean, so fucking mean for what? Maybe you are a pervert though, secretly lusting after not just one—but both of your step-siblings. God your parents would ship you off to boarding school if they knew you couldn’t catch a wink of sleep after that.
No, not with your ear pressed up against the wall trying to mute every sound that couldn’t have come from one of the main characters of your daily fantasies. Between having both Jaemin and Jeno back home for summer, you haven’t seen a day of peace.
Your friend was right, maybe she needs to get laid, but more than anything you need to be fucked. Fucked hard enough for your soul to leave your body and make a trip to heaven and back.
That explains the deep set bags under your eyes today, hidden under the sunglasses that also do a great job of masking your lack of ability to take in each wet rippling muscle lining Jeno’s stomach, or Jaemin’s thick biceps flexing and gripping around his neck.
A defeated sigh solidifies your decision to get in a quick nap before it’s time to get ready for your date tonight. You won’t be of much use for another man if you’re still stuck in a horny whirlwind fantasy anyway.
What was that Jaemin said to you last night? Count sheep?
One. Two. Three..
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“Where are you going?”
Jeno’s sitting on top of the dryer mindlessly scrolling through his phone, double-taking at the sound of you entering the laundry room; his eyes nearly falling out of their sockets at the length of your skirt.
“Out.” You say, squatting a bit to sort through your clean basket of clothes. “Have you seen my favorite bra?”
Jeno jumps off the machine, head ducking lower, catching a glimpse of sheer lace baby pink between your thighs. “What?”
“My bra,” you stand, cupping around your chest. “It’s light pink, floral trimming, the cups are see-through.”
He gapes, mouth going dry taking in the rest of your appearance. “Where are you going?”
“Hello, earth to Jeno!” Waving around, you reach out to flick his forehead, wrist caught mid-air before you reach. “I asked you a question!”
He scoffs, tugging you closer. “Why would I have your bra?! Are you not wearing it?” The realization has Jeno pulling you arm up to better stare at your chest, a faint shadow of nipple peeks through the cotton material hugging your breasts.
“What the hell are you wearing?!” He’s flabbergasted, scanning up and down your figure and shaking his head in disapproval. “You can’t go out like this.”
Pulling free from his hold you roll your eyes, returning to the basket of fresh laundry in search of your undergarments. “You don’t like it?”
Jeno pauses, mouth opening and shutting again, lips pouting out. He definitely likes it, but you shouldn’t be out in public revealing this much of your body to anyone.. it’s different at home; no one other than him and Jaemin to see you prance around in oversized t-shirts barely hitting beneath your ass. Not that they’ve ever wondered what would happen if you bent down to pick something up in front of them, not that they’ve ever caught themselves turning their heads toward the stairs in unison when you come skipping down, bouncing away.
“You look..” Jeno hums, taking too long to admire the smooth backs of your thighs leading up to the plump roundness your skirts doing a poor job of hiding. “..it’s just.. would your dad let you wear that out??”
Snorting, you stand up to glare at him with your hands on your hips, head cocked to the side. “He’s not here to stop me, is he?”
“No but he asked us to watch over you, I don’t think your dad would like it if he knew I let you leave the house looking like..”
“Like what?” You snap back, stepping forward to get in his face.
“Like..”
“Go on.”
“Like a common street whore.” Jeno straightens out, clearing his throat, chin tilted in to appear serious. “Walking around like you’re asking for it.”
Smiling, you poke at his chest, your step-brother’s resolve crumbling as you softly laugh. “Maybe I am.”
“The hell is that supposed to mean?!” Jeno groans, shaking his head again. “I can’t let you go out like that, I won’t allow it.”
“Oh you won’t allow it? Do you think you’re my daddy?” You ask, taunting him further with another prod at his chest; mascara heavily coated eyelashes batting mischievously.
Jeno swallows, biting at the sides of his tongue, annoyed and aroused by everything. The way you’re dressed, the way you keep touching him, the silky tone you say that word in.
“Where exactly do you need to go dressed like that?” He repeats, the sound of the dryer cycle coming to an end clearing his foggy mind for a moment.
Sighing, you roll your eyes, adjusting the loose bolero cashmere slipping from your shoulders. “The new neighbor invited me over for dinner and a movie, we’re not going out. He’s gonna cook me a nice American meal because I mentioned how much I miss it back home when we met.”
Jeno’s eyes dart back and forth in thought, a light bulb coming to life behind them. “THE AMERICAN GUY? THAT GROWN ASS MAN?!”
“He’s 28!”
“Exactly!” His demeanor changes drastically, arms flailing angrily. “Oh you are not going out to see him dressed like that! In fact! You aren’t going anywhere near that creep!”
“He’s not a creep! God Jeno.” Shoving past him you continue muttering about how he needs to calm down, you don’t need to take orders from him or anyone. “I’m an adult.”
“He’s way too old for you.” Jeno paces behind you, too frustrated to notice you’ve begun to pull out his dry laundry, sorting through it in search of your bra. “I’m gonna have to call your dad.”
“Jeno! Do not!” You snap again, letting out an annoyed huff. “I never snitch on you and Jaemin all the nights you sneak out and bring back girls to fuck!”
Jeno gapes again, moving to stand by your side and snatch his boxers before you grab them. “We don’t do that!”
“Oh you don’t? I must have imagined those girly moans coming from your bedrooms screaming oh yes! Daddy please! Rip my ass apart! Your cocks so fucking big!” You slap down on the dryer moaning out, arching forward pressing your breast against the machine, eyes rolling up sarcastically. “Ugh yes daddy! Cum on my ass!”
Jeno gulps, eyebrows twisting together as his cock jumps inside the confines of his jeans, gnawing at his bottom lip to contain an anguished groan. “That’s..”
“Piece of shit dryer,” you curse, bending down to reach further inside, the strap of your bra meeting your fingers. “I swear if this thing ate my bra!”
Jeno runs his hands through his hair, tugging at chunks trying to regain his composure. The position you’ve dropped to on your knees, ass shimmying in the air further pushing him to his limit not helping one bit.
There’s no way he can let you leave this house dressed like this, no way he can let that pervert down the street take advantage of his little innocent step-sister, no way he can let anyone ruin you other than him.
His hand trembles inches away from your backside, soft supple skin fully exposed just aching to be slapped, marked up and bruised by his hands.
“Jeno! Help me!” You whine, shaking and kicking out your feet annoyed. “I think I’m stuck!”
Oh fuck.
“Wh-what..” Jeno’s eyes travel around quickly, ending back on your ass wiggling around in a weak attempt to free yourself from the machine you’ve gotten stuck inside of. “W-what… quit fucking around.”
“I’m not! I’m stuck, Jeno! You have to get me out!” Your sad excuse of a skirt flares up as you start to kick, ankles knocking together the more you whine and yell at him. “I can’t believe this!”
Me either, Jeno thinks, swallowing a thick wad of saliva to coat his throat. “This has to be a joke, you’re…you’re trying to..” he pauses, mewling over what exactly it is you’re doing to him. On your knees, ass rippling under your cute little panties, back arched low in this much too perfect position.
“I’m not joking! Jeno I’m really stuck! I think my sweater got caught in the machine!” Your whiney high-pitched tone doesn’t help Jeno’s growing problem twitching against his inner thigh.
“What am I supposed to do?! Break the fucking dryer?!” Jeno splutters, forcing himself to look away and draw in shallow breaths.
SHE’S YOUR SISTER.
SHE’S YOUR SISTER.
SHE’S YOUR SISTER.
The chant shouting in his head gets interrupted by the devil on his shoulder, speaking in an oddly similar tone he’s more than familiar with. ‘She’s just our step-sister Jeno, it’s not a crime.’
That’s what Jaemin’s always said whenever they’ve drank a little too much and toyed with the idea of hooking up with you. ‘Believe me, I’m gonna fuck her at some point, you know I can’t keep it in my pants this long.’
Jaemin had a point, but even then Jeno can’t deny the guilt he feels as his gaze retreats back to your ample backside, arched out pathetically, fully pushing your plump folds out against the thin layer of underwear leaving nothing to his imagination.
“Do something!” You shout, near tears from the dryer's heat sweating your makeup off. All this effort to look pretty for Johnny only for it to be completely wasted over this stupid damn bra. This is all Jeno’s fault! He never even clears out the lint before throwing his clothes in!
“Okay okay!” The existential crisis your step-brother’s going through fails to transcend through his response, even if he’s fully messed up his hair style by ripping at tufts while pacing behind you. “What if.. I can try to pull you out?”
“Hurry! It’s so hot in here! I’m melting!”
Could you be more dramatic? He wants to scoff, rolling his eyes as he drops down to his knees and his hands hover over your hips. “I’m going to try and reach in, alright?”
“God damnit Jeno! Fucking hurry up!” You screech, feet stomping against the ground between his thighs.
“Oh shit,” Jeno presses in closer to avoid your heels colliding with his sack, eyes going wide upon contact with your core, all warm and damp where his lower stomach meets the forbidden area between your thighs. “Fuck.”
He has to catch his breath again, sliding his hands through the space left at your sides. He definitely could avoid touching you given the amount of space, but that doesn’t stop him from smoothing up your hips and waist, squeezing his way up as he bends closer with his chin resting atop the dryer. The new angle aligns his hips with yours, his now fully hard length digging into your thigh the more he leans his body in to lock under your armpits and pull your shoulders back. “Come on, work with me here.”
“That hurts! It’s my sweater Jeno! My sleeves wrapped up in the machine, I can’t get it out!” He can feel you tug, shifting back further into his groin the more you attempt to move and release your arm from the uncomfortable position you’re trapped in.
“Sorry sorry..” he gasps, unable to stop himself from rocking forward against your warmth. “Should I try to take your top off?” Shaking his head in disbelief, he circles against your ass, biting down on his teeth to suppress a groan when his length slots between your folds. Even with the material of your clothes keeping you apart, the idea alone of having you so vulnerable to his ministrations is more than enough. High alone off how unsuspecting his every calculated move is, because why would your big brother take advantage of you like this? Jeno would never, he loves you too much.
“Ughh…” you whine, head drooping with sweat pouring down your face faster than a river flow. “This is so stupid!” You cry, shimmying back again, too exhausted to pick up on the hard shaped rod pressed flush to your core.
“I’m so tired..” blinking slowly, you wonder how stupid it may be to call up 911 for this.
‘Hey my step-sister got stuck in a dryer trying to find a bra. Can you make it fast? She’s supposed to have a hot date tonight with this sexy American beef cake that lives down the street.’
Because that’s something that could only ever happen to you. Public humiliation that would only draw attention to your house with a blaring fire truck uselessly parked outside only to decide that the jaws of life would be necessary to free you from this comedic porn scenario mess of a situation you’ve landed yourself in.
“I’m doing my best baby.” Jeno soothes, maneuvering his hands to your back in search of a bra clasp to release. Oh right.. hard nipples, no bra. The entire reason you’re stuck to begin with. “I’m going to take your top off, okay?”
No bra, that should make this easier, he gulps, untying the halter strings connected at the back of your neck. “Maybe if we can get you out of this..” he tries to imagine your tortured cute face, tear stricken the longer you suffer in there. The image of your distress only makes his cock jump, rutting harder against your ass.
“Fuck, I can’t do this.” He whispers quietly to himself, too caught up in his own form of torture. What are the chances of pulling you out, tits bouncing freely as you fall back and land ass first onto the seat of his lap. Jeno nods to himself, pulling your top lower until he can sense the release of your breasts, likely resting against the still warm metal insides of the dryer.
“Try to pull your arms free now baby.”
Maybe it’s due to your exhaustion, lazily pushing back only to be met with your step-brother’s hips and a low groan. “I can’t Jeno, I can’t anymore.” You sob, pathetically dropping flat with your arm strung up still locked in place.
“I’m going to have to cut your sweater.” He thinks fast, glancing around quickly before noticing you’re no longer alone.
“Jaemin?!”
“Jaemin!” You shout, shocked by the mention of your other brother. “Huh?!”
An amused laugh traces up your back, followed by a round of applause and feet shuffling forward. “No no, keep it going Jeno.”
He leans against the washer, smirking to one side. “All this fun without me? You dirty fucking dog.”
“Jaem, it’s not what it looks like! She’s st—“
“No no, seriously, by all means—go on, don’t let me interrupt. I’m dying to know what you’ll do next.” He says sarcastically. “You’re really the luckiest motherfucker I know, Jeno. Found her like this before I had the chance.”
“Dude, it’s not like that!” He groans, gripping around your waist roughly out of frustration.
“Ow!” You squeak, pushing back harder against his crotch. “Jaemin, do something!”
“Do something?” He muses, squatting down near his brother to get a good look at your connected lower halves, skirt pushed high above your hips and underwear scrunched up between your buttcheeks. “I can do a lot, if you really want me to, princess.”
“Jaemin, no..” Jeno begs quietly, knowing his sibling better than himself. “You can’t.”
“Oh, but you can, right?” He snickers, snapping his fingers. “All this struggling and neither of you idiots has considered oil yet?” He laughs, patting Jeno’s back roughly before exiting.
“Where’d he go?!” You kick at the ground again, maybe Jaemin could get you out of here, he’s buffer than Jeno.. always flexing his muscles in front of you talking about ‘gains’.
“Uh..” Jaemin walks back in before he’s able to coin up a lie, a clear bottle of baby oil in hand. “Man, why do you even have that??”
“You know why.” He grins cockily, returning to match Jeno’s position on his knees. “We’ll just lube her up real good and she’ll slip right out.”
“What is this?” Jeno asks, genuinely bewildered. “Am I dreaming?” He raises an eyebrow, reaching to pinch your buttcheek.
“Ow! What the fuck!”
Oh right, he’s supposed to pinch himself. Not you.
“Don’t think you are but either way, hope we don’t wake up.” Jaemin chuckles, nudging his elbow into his brother’s side. “I think you’ve had enough failed attempts at this, it’s my turn.”
Reluctantly Jeno’s shoulders drop and he shifts off to your side, hard-on pressed to your hip as if that will help hide how insanely turned on he is right now.
Jaemin makes a face, whistling quietly as he leans in to whisper for you not to hear. “I’d be 8 deep in her right now, you’re an idiot.”
“Whatever man, I’m trying to be a good brother.”
“Step.” Jaemin rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t count, besides, look at us and look at her—we’re like some PornHub dream come true. Think of the money we could make if we filmed this..”
“Hello?!” You cry out, unable to hear anything aside from muffled voices. “Are you going to help me or what?!?”
“Of course princess.” Jaemin says reassuringly, handing Jeno the bottle of baby oil to free his hands to grab onto your hips. “You’re stuck real good in there unfortunately, but your big brother has a great plan to get you out.”
Jeno shakes his head, mouthing ‘you sick fuck’ to the other, receiving only a much too cheerful smile in return.
“Okay, thank you..” you don’t sound too convinced, but at this point with your makeup all sweated off and hair ruined, you don’t have much of a choice other than to just go with it.
“I’m going to try oiling you up, but I don’t want to ruin your pretty outfit baby.” He winks at Jeno, mouthing ‘watch this’. “Is that okay with you?” He tugs on your underwear to ask without flat out asking.
“Take off my clothes?” With your top already rolled down to your waist and this bent over position you’ve been stuck in for too long now, you can’t fathom how much more humiliating this situation can get at this point.
“Yeah, sort of like when you use butter to help remove jewelry that’s too tight.” Jaemin shrugs, convinced he made that up. “It’s worth a shot to try, or would you rather I call the fire department to have you craned out of here. Might be hard to explain the hole in our roof to mom and dad later, and think of how much that repair will cost them.”
“Fine, fine! Get me out of here, please Jaem.” You whine again, lazily collapsing onto your stomach and chest.
“You don’t have to beg baby.” Jaemin can’t stop the smile on his lips from growing, slowly rolling your panties down to unveil your bald smooth cunt. He sucks in a hissed breath between his teeth. “Fuck, even prettier than I imagined.”
Jeno leans in closer, swallowing down a sob. “Yeah, real nice..” his hand lifts, hovering close by. “You’re right, fuck, I’m an idiot.” His hips jam closer, digging his painfully hard length into the side of your thigh.
“We should oil your entire body.” Jaemin pipes up. “You know, to make sure you slip free easily. I wouldn't want my baby sis to get hurt.”
That doesn’t make a lick of sense, you think, but who fucking cares anymore. Jaemin skims his palms beneath your skirt, tugging it over your hips ever so gently. Clueless to the visual of your ass bouncing against the material with each light tug, he curses under his breath.
“You see that Jeno?” He nods to your exposed rim, tight as fuck, as if nothing’s ever penetrated back there. “That’s a damn shame.. Our poor baby, so neglected..”
You hate to admit but everything your step-brother has said in his usual monotone calm voice has your thighs rubbing together anxiously. Because when you weighed the pros and cons of sacrificing your pride and ego, you failed to consider the most humiliating one: leaking down your thighs for your step-brothers to watch from a front row seat.
“Fuck.”
“What was that my angel?” Jaemin chimes, reaching for your top to drag down over your wide hips, the material showing resistance as seams pop open passing over the round pert of your ass. “You’re doing so good for me.” He says, acknowledging Jeno with his arm slung atop the dryer to stop himself from hunching forward and burying his face between your butt. “Well, for us.”
This has to be some type of punishment, you can’t even bite down on your fist to drown out the moan you let out next. Jaemin uses your weakened state to fully control the dip in your back, hoisting your hips higher to make your cheeks spread naturally and leave you completely exposed.
“God damn.” He grits pushing down on your waist and pressing his crotch to the back of your thigh. “Hurry up Jeno, soak her up.”
“You have to say it like that?” Jeno sounds near the verge of tears trying to uncap the baby oil in his tight grip. “Isn’t this—sort of..”
“If you don’t hurry the fuck up I’m gonna shove my dick inside of her in the next five seconds!” Jaemin hisses at his brother, reaching for the string keeping his sweats up. “Five! Four!—“
“Okay okay!” Jeno practically drops the bottle out of fear, squeezing its contents out rapidly with his jaw hung at the sight of your ass gleaming back at him absolutely drenched. “Can’t do this, Jaem! I need—need to fuck her!”
“What?? What’s going on!?” You shriek, jumping back as the oil dribbles up your back, only magnifying how obscene your ass looks shining with a thick coat of oil.
“This is insane.” Jaemin mumbles, shoving his sweats and boxers down in one go. He lowers down to speak into the dryer, snaking in to smear the oil higher up your back. “Hey, I don’t want to get my clothes dirty either, right Jeno? I’m sure you understand, baby.”
“What?” You sigh, eyes flying wide open when you feel it, hot and thick against your soaked ass. “Is that?—“ to make matters worse, you feel it again against your other thigh, bigger even, pulsating where he’s pressed, nearly burning your skin from how hot he feels. “Oh my God.”
“Yeah,” Jaemin moans, smoothing his oily hands to your chest, squeezing the second he cups your breasts. “Fuckfuckfuck, I think it’s working!” He pulls you back more, the top of your stomach sliding against the dryer making the nastiest squeegee-like sound.
“You’re doing so so good for us.” Jeno finally manages to speak up, pouring out the entire contents of the now empty bottle in his hold, tossing it aside to massage in the mess pooling between the crevice of your ass. “Shit. What the fuck. You’re so fucking pretty down here. Of course you are, so damn pretty everywhere aren’t you?”
“Jaem, Jeno—what’s—“ you huff out, short of breath the more you get pulled out but your step-brothers thick biceps caging your hips.
Jaemin hushes you dismissively, gaining better leverage around your middle to pull you out, your sweater barely clinging to your arm anymore. “Come on Jeno, grab her legs for me.” He grunts, exuding strength he’s only had to use in the bedroom before. Lucky for you his favored positions have always left him in complete control, tossing whoever he’s fucking around to his will.
Jeno’s fast to listen to orders, especially if it means he’ll be in the perfect position to actually have you landing in his lap as if he manifested it to happen.
“Ahhh!”
Once your elbow unhooks from your sweater, you shoot out of the dryer like the log ride and Disney world, hurdled back by the extra force you and Jaemin had been using to free your upper half. The relief of finally being free washes over you, panting for breath that doesn’t reek of lint and musty heat. “Holy shit, I can’t believe it!”
Too stunned and eager to fix your sweaty locks, you nearly miss the sad pathetic groan Jeno lets out, clutching around your waist to keep you slotted against his rock hard length. “Je—oh fuck.”
Jaemin sits up on his knees, regaining his composure and breath as he wipes off his greasy palms by slapping them together repeatedly. “That was some show, look at what you’ve done. Poor Jeno looks about ready to burst.”
He crawls forward, grabbing onto your knees before you even think to slam your thighs shut, too caught up in the thick size nestled between your ass to even fully understand how naked all of you are. Naked and completely doused from neck to toe in baby oil, it almost seems too ridiculous to be real…
“Now now,” he drawls, relaxing between your thighs only held open by his palms cupped under the pits of your knees. “In a sense, this is like pulling out the Excalibur..”
“Dude, I’m fucking dying here! Be fucking for real!” Jeno sounds more desperate than you’ve ever heard him, whining like a puppy into your shoulder and apologizing with a feather light kiss.
Jaemin laughs, could even qualify as a cackle, smoothing down to your inner thighs. “Don’t you think we’ve earned a prize from our princess?”
The sweet charming smile you’re used to seems more menacing than ever now as he inches lower, heavy palms cupping your inner thighs and pulling apart your cunt with his thumbs to show off how wet you are. “Is all that for us? You nasty dumb little slut. Want your big brother’s to fuck your holes so bad don’t you?” Jaemin finishes with a hot wad of spit landing at your entrance to further drill in your shame, shivering back into Jeno’s hold as he sets a searing kiss on your clit.
“Fuck Jeno, she’s so tight.” Dragging through your folds he stretches his digits out for you to see the thick mix of baby oil and slick arousal forming clear strings between his fingers.
“Wetter than a fucking slut.” Jeno bites your earlobe, trailing one of his palms down the smooth expanse of your stomach to your clit. “Let me fuck her ass first at least.”
“Huh? N-no—not there, I haven’t before.”
Jaemin’s tongue clicks, kissing the backs of his teeth and squinting his eyes as if to call your bluff. He reaches between your split ass, thumb pressing to your rim meeting tight resistance. “Fuck, she’s not lying.”
Jeno can feel a prickle of tears burning at the backs of his eyes, his sack drawn up tight and heavy from being edged this long. “I can’t anymore!” He really can’t, he’s been hard since you mimicked the forgettable skanks that pass in and out of his bedroom. None of them would ever match up to you, only confirmed as his hips lift up and the tip of his cock struggles to penetrate past your wet tight circle of muscle. That doesn’t stop him from using his hold around your waist to his advantage, gliding you down his length with ease the more pilant you turn in his arms.
“Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.” He thinks he might cum from this alone. Pussy walls too smooth around his size, sucking along each pulsing vein as he inches in until he meets resistance and has to bite down on your shoulder to stop himself from screaming out.
“Greedy motherfucker.” Jaemin mutters, pushing the backs of your knees up higher until you’re pretzeled between the large sculpted bodies of your step-brothers, the same two whose names you’ve cried into your pillow with your hand down your pajama pants many nights.
Jeno rips a fresh batch of tears out of you, the stretch of his cock bordering painful if not for how obscenely wet you are, but the moans singing from deep within your chest are short lived; cut off by a thick prod at the top of your entrance right above the length already filling you up.
“I’ll fuck your ass next time.” Jaemin groans, shoving his cock in against the push he’s met with between your tight hole and his brother’s unrelenting thrusts. “That’s it, taking both of our dicks baby? So easily too? Who knew my baby sister was such a fucking slut.”
“N-no, not—a slut..” you wail, unable to handle how hard and big they both feel thrusting inside of you at different times. The friction cuts off your breath, sucking in your stomach to pull away from the fast unforgiving speed they both fuck into you. “S’too much! Too full!”
“Like that baby? So fucking full with both of us inside of you.” Jeno sounds strangled, pouring sweat the more he exerts himself to fuck into you faster and harder than Jaemin. He should have fucked you first to begin with. “Feel us both sliding into you? Taking two dicks like nothing, you know what that makes you?”
“A dirty fuck hole,” Jaemin says between clenched teeth, reaching for your neck to hold your head up and watch your eyes well up with tears, nodding and agreeing with everything they say just like the good little fuck toy you are, only for them.
“You can’t even wait for it, can you?” Jaemin manages to rasp out, throat locking up with each bury of his size engulfed in your tight heat. He grips your cheeks roughly with his palm cupping your chin. “What. A. Fucking. Whore..” He says it in a nasty tone on purpose to make your stomach turn, hitting deep inside with pointed demanding thrusts between each word. The shame of letting both your step-brothers fuck you is already enough to weigh 500 pounds of guilt down on your chest, but letting them both do it at the same time..
Everything crashes hard, unable to fall back or arch forward between their burly builds. Too overwhelmed, overheated and crazed with each sheathing thrust, your neck drops back gasping for air; weakly slapping Jaemin’s shoulders as tremors roll up from your toes to your shoulders and your eyes roll up. The squeeze around their lengths almost has them both slipping out as you cum and pour out more arousal around them, both using the extra glide to fuck you faster through your orgasm.
“I’m cl-close.” Jeno’s eyes practically match yours, wet from the maddening clamp around his throbbing member. “Can’t… fucking..” Pushing you forward against Jaemin’s chest he pulls out, pussy snapping around his cock noisily with gushing wetness following. It only takes one stroke to have him spilling out onto your ass with a chorus of curses and muffled shouts, slapping his length down on the rounded part of your butt to watch his cum dribble down between your ass faster. “Fuck me.”
He’d pass out clean if not for his brother pushing you right back to where you were against his chest, slamming his dick back into you without anything to hold him back anymore.
“Jaemin!” You scream, reaching for his shoulders to slow down the viscous grueling slap of skin colliding with skin, bounced up and down his length as if you weigh nothing to him.
“Fucking take it.” He growls, thrusts turning erratic as each vein lining his neck bursts out, skin pink and hot from driving all of his power into each ram of his hips. Each plunge of his size backed with intent to leave a mark. Stuttering forward, his head falls back releasing a long winded groan, chest rising against your face as his eyes roll up and he hits peak deep within you.
“Y-you—you came inside?” You ask, still coming down from your high, neck rolling against Jeno’s shoulder. “I-inside of me?”
Jaemin grunts, slamming in one final thrust with a pained expression, you just feel too good to stop. “You’re on the pill anyway, don’t be so dramatic.”
Jeno scoffs behind you, shoving between your bodies to push Jaemin’s weight off of you. “You’re such a dick.”
Jaemin smirks proudly, slowly drawing free from your wrecked cunt. “God baby, how am I supposed to stop now?” He lets out a deep breathy sigh, reaching between your tighs to circle your entrance for the rest of his cum to trickle out onto the floor and run down your ass. “Such a perfect pussy.”
“C-can’t— no more Jaem.” You mumble half-asleep, turning your face to burrow in Jeno’s neck. “Tired.”
“You heard her, Jeno.” Jaemin raises his full eyebrows up and down, sneaking his brother a knowing look. “She can’t handle me anymore.”
Jeno nods, dragging his lips down the side of your face to your mouth. “He’s right angel, how are we supposed to stop now?” With that he moves your hips back, lining his hardening length up with your gaped entrance. The space molded from your step-brother's combined cocks allows him to fully enter you with one hard thrust, cursing against the corner of your lips.
“Je-jeno—please..”
“Yeah, it’s all for you baby.” His arms wrap around your waist, pushing you down until you’re crushing his balls.
“Ca-can’t—“ the last thing you hear is Jaemin cooing on and on about how adorable you are, still squirting out a mess of arousal even as your eyes fall shut and Jeno continues to brutally snap his hips up.
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“Didn’t she say something about a date tonight?” Jaemin’s voice comes through muffled, it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes since the three of you finished, judging from the burning crave for more between your thighs.
“Yeah, about that..” Jeno whispers, sounding more distant. “Think I heard her telling her friend she’s going out with that guy from Chicago, you know that big motherfucker down the street.”
“What??” Jaemin barks out much too loud, completely erasing the last bits of exhaustion away from your body. “He’s way too old for her!”
“I know. We can’t let her go, right?” Jeno sounds more stressed than his brother, mumbling like he’s chewing on one of his nails. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable knowing she’s out there with him of all people. That guys a dick..”
“He has a huge dick too.” Jaemin retorts, clicking his tongue annoyed. “Why don’t we tell her he called and said he couldn’t make it tonight? Change of plans or something.” He nods to your phone, inching closer to sneak it away, pinching the device between his fingers.
“She’s going to hate us if she finds out.” Jeno snatches your phone from him, typing in the code he’s seen you punch in while peeping over your shoulder. “It’s for her own good.” He finds your chat with Johnny in an instance, scrolling through quickly and sending himself the different scandalous selfies you’ve messaged. “Little slut..”
“Send me those too.” Jaemin pipes in, nudging his brother's side. “We should wake her up, it’s getting chilly out here.”
“Can’t believe she knocked out like that, her friend even left already.”
“Mmmhhhmm.. Jeno..”
They come to a pause, locking your phone after successfully deleting your chat with Johnny and blocking his number. Jaemin mouths ‘wake her up’ to his brother, shoving his shoulder to move closer to you.
“Hey..” Jeno sits at the edge of the pool chair you’re laid out on, reaching to tap your arm. “You should wake up.”
“Few more minutes..” you grumble, slapping his hand away. Jeno coughs, grabbing both your shoulders to shake you awake.
“It’s been long enough, come on, time to wake up!”
“Wh—how long have I been asleep?” The sun’s still setting behind the expanse of Jeno and Jaemin’s broad frames, making your eyes squint shut as you sit up quickly and pat around. “What.. what are we doing out here?!?”
Jeno helps you sit up, patting your back. “Hopefully you don’t get sick from sleeping out here for so long, we thought you’d gone inside.” He leaves out the mention of your date, sneaking a look at his brother.
“Wha—“ a fast glance around clears up your confusion. You had fallen asleep in the backyard. “It was all a dream?!”
“What was?” Jaemin asks, raising a suspicious eyebrow at your frazzled response. “What was all a dream, huh?”
“I—uhm..” your step-brothers eye you quizzically, both intimidating as they stand above you waiting for an answer. “Nightmare! I mean, about the dog next door.” You scramble to get up, stumbling forward as you try to shove your feet into your sandals.
“Where are you running off to?” Jeno says, arm looping around your waist before your knees can meet pavement. “Can’t be that silly date, he called while you were knocked out to cancel anyway.”
Hoisting you up he pushes you toward Jaemin, back crashing against his chest to easily lock you in place with his thick biceps caged around your sides, lips finding your ear to whisper. “Now, tell us more about this dream.”
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primehyuck · 7 months
Text
MOVES
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aka good things take time (the happy ending version)
word count: 11.3k
i first started writing this because i’ve been listening to the song Moves by Suki Waterhouse on repeat, but it became much more than that
contents: long time best friend!haechan, slice of life, pining and yearning, chronological time jumps (mostly college and young adulthood), other members mentioned (Mark and Jeno!roommates), kissing, fluff, wet dreams, a good example of two people who seriously need to communicate, face sitting, morning sex, lots of pet names
“Do you think we’ll be friends for a long time?” Haechan’s soft voice distracts your attempt to focus on a blade of the blurry ceiling fan, unable to keep you cool despite it spinning so fast you think it might fly away.
“How do you mean?” the bed squeaks when Haechan sits up to lean over you.
“Growing up, I feel like my parents didn’t have many friends aside from each other. My mom told me that it’s because when you get older your priorities change and you realize who adds value to your life, and that’s who you decide to keep.” His eyes are glowing with sincerity, body blocking the flow of air from touching you at all “so when we’re older, and married with kids and other priorities, and we maybe live in different cities, do you think we’ll still be friends?”
You stare at him for a moment before shoving his face out of the way of the fans air stream.
“Definitely,” your confidence soothes him enough that he lays back down “if I ever muster up the creativity to come up with a reason to stop being your friend, you have to swear you’ll tell me how stupid I’m being, swear to me.” you smack his chest before he can even answer.
“I swear!” He smiles to himself, staring up at the ceiling with you, rubbing his hand over the warm spot where your hand made contact, melting into the mattress.
———
Growing up people always joked that Haechan and you would fall in love, that it was inevitable, practical even. Because, if you fall in love with your best friend you’ve already conquered one of the highest mountains - finding someone that you like, and who likes you back.
You had both seen the other in a relationship, an inevitability when you’ve been friends with someone since puberty. He’d cheered you on when you had your first kiss during a game of spin the bottle in high school, forced you to come out on double dates with him and a friend of his you didn’t even like just so he could take someone else out, and freshman year of college he’d even introduced you to the person you'd lost your virginity to.
The only time he cockblocked you was when you tried to get to know any of his friends more than platonically, so eventually you gave up and settled for real friendship with all of them.
“Trust me, you don’t want to touch him with a six foot pole.” He’d said freshman year when you had mentioned your attraction to his roommate, Mark.
“He seems so nice, though.” you pouted
“He is nice, but that doesn’t mean you want to be with him.”
“How would you know what I want?” you scoffed, and he looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Has the wind beneath my wings ever led you into the wrong arms?” He was highly animated, offended that you would question his judgment.
By the start of sophomore year it was obvious to everyone else that you were strictly off limits. All of his friends had decided unanimously that even if you did attempt anything with them they had no choice but to shut you down. The cold stare Haechan unknowingly serves them from across the room whenever they got too close was enough to keep them away. None of the boys ever minded the boundaries with you, there always was an ease in your friendship since they all knew it could never go further, but that didn’t mean they never thought about the possibility.
One night, at the end of junior year, Haechan is nowhere to be found at his own party and you graciously accept Jeno’s invitation upstairs when you complain of a headache, “we can play Mario Kart, and it won’t be all competitive like when Haechan plays with us.”
It starts like normal, and you're having fun when you realize that your tipsy brain can’t focus on the screen and the conversation simultaneously, opting for the latter as you relax into Jeno’s pillows. You don’t even notice him inching closer to you until his nose touches yours, tugging at a strand of your hair. This is the first time any of Haechan’s friends have shown interest in you, you’d never even been on the receiving end of a flirtatious stare from across the beer pong table, so you take the reins.
Kissing Jeno feels a little bit like winning, like you’ve finally made it past the invisible forcefield Haechan had put up around his friends. The kiss is lazy and hot, Jeno props himself up on one elbow and presses your back into the mattress with his chest. Your eager fingers run beneath his shirt, his abs tightening when you trail them over his sides. Your spine tingles when he groans into your mouth, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your knee and hike your leg over his hip. His hand holds strong around your thigh, and you sigh when he grinds into you.
Jeno pulls away too soon, stopping your hands reaching for the hem of his shirt with a pained sigh as he drops your leg to roll onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes.
“Fuck, I should not be doing this with you.”
“Why, you don’t want to?” You want to curl into yourself, sitting up to stare down at his shaking head.
“No, definitely not that.” he pulls his arm away to meet your eyes, the alcohol in his veins making him brave enough to admit “Haechan would be pissed.”
“Haechan?” you question “did he say something to you?” Jeno groans, sitting up and hooking his elbows around his knees, staring at the mattress between his legs.
“No, no. He’s never actually said anything,” he knows he’s revealing too much, but he also knows he’s gone too far to stop “we just know he would never want us to cross that line with you.”
“We?” you can feel embarrassment bubbling in your chest at the idea of all of your friends talking about this.
“Yeah, you know, all the guys. We figured you were just off limits, I don’t know.” he grimaces, looking up at you with apologetic eyes when you don’t respond. You huff and climb off the bed, feeling rejected in more ways than one.
You’d crossed a boundary tonight, but Jeno was still a close friend, someone you’d spent a lot of time with since he met Haechan freshman year. He still knows you, so he grabs your wrist before you can leave, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed so he can stand you between his legs.
“I’m sorry, don’t be mad.” He envelops your hands in his and brings them to his chest.
“I’m not mad,” you mumble, avoiding his apologetic gaze “I’m embarrassed that all of my friends agreed not to touch me.”
“Did you really think not a single one of us was ever interested in you?” you shrug and he squeezes your hands tighter, heart tugging in his chest.
“When people don’t act interested, that’s usually a safe assumption.” you pout and Jeno’s laugh buzzes through your linked fingers "I gave up on all of you halfway through freshman year."
“Well, some of us are better actors than I remember.”
He has you laughing by the time you leave his room, sealing the night with one more self indulgent kiss and a pinky swear to never tell Haechan about what happened.
———
Halfway through the first semester of senior year Haechan bangs angrily on his roommates door before swinging it open and Jeno is genuinely shocked that it's taken this long for the gossip to hit his ears. The rest of the boys had clocked Jeno the next morning for being ‘too happy’ and he had to make them all swear not to tell, wanting to protect your pride and his own friendship with Haechan.
"You slut!" Haechan points an accusatory finger in Jeno's direction, dragging his feet slowly toward him until he's so close Jeno has to bat his hand out of his face.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Haechan's voice is low and angry, something new and unpleasant sparking in his gut at the idea of Jeno kissing you, touching you.
"No, I don't." Jeno can’t help but antagonize. Pleased with the perfect opportunity to trick Haechan into saying out loud what everyone else seems to have known for years.
"You kissed my best friend!" He shrieks, tossing his hands up in the air dramatically.
"So what, she's not allowed to kiss people?" Haechan squints his eyes at Jeno’s response, scrunching his nose in annoyance “how did you even find out?”
"She can kiss whoever she wants, it's all of you that aren't allowed to kiss her." Haechan waves his hand wildly toward the bedroom door, alluding to the large group of boys living in the house “you know Mark can’t keep a secret, he’s been bursting at the seams for months. All I had to do was ask.”
"It happened forever ago dude, why are you so pissed? You've never even given us a chance to get close to her in that way, maybe one of us could really like her." Jeno reasons, tugging at Haechan's strings, watching the gears in his brain turn as he tries to come up with a real argument.
"She has a boyfriend," Haechan finally says with a frown at the thought of the guy he’d only recently met, he doesn’t like him at all. From his stupid hair to the shoes he wears, there’s not a thing about your new boyfriend that Haechan thinks is good enough for you. He collapses into the gaming chair across from where Jeno is relaxed on the couch, not having moved at all since Haechan stormed in "plus, I think any of you would know by now, you've all known her for four years."
"I think, that it can take a lot longer than four years to realize how much you like someone." Jeno bites, "how long have you known her?"
"Since middle school." He picks at the hole in the knee of his black jeans, realizing what Jeno is alluding to, defensive exterior quickly crumbling.
"Right, I think that if you're blind enough then it can take ten years to realize how much you like someone."
"Well, maybe ten years is too long and that person missed their chance." Haechan turns his head to stare out the window, anxiously spinning the chair side to side.
"You know I'm talking about you, right?"
"God, yes, I know you're talking about me." Haechan glares at his friend, fidgeting stopping abruptly "and I know I've been a complete idiot about it, but like I said, I’m out of time."
———
Haechan can’t stop his free hand from clenching and unclenching as you sob into your pillow, his less angry hand rubbing over your back.
“He told me he saw us moving in together after graduation,” your voice shakes “how do you look someone in the eyes and say shit like that and then sleep with someone else?”
“I don’t know,” Haechan replies earnestly, feeling as helpful as flip flops in the snow from where he sits on the edge of your mattress “I’m so sorry.”
He takes your silence as an invitation, lying on his stomach, face turned toward you, fingers still drawing soothing circles over your shoulder blades. He waits patiently for you to calm down, unease swarming his stomach knowing that even after years of friendship he can’t truly comfort you in this moment.
“I’m so embarrassed.” you sniffle, smearing your face over your pillow before turning to look at him. He holds his breath, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to explain.
“I’m so gullible, he even told me he’s cheated in the past and for whatever reason I believed that he’d treat me differently, that he’d love me enough.” Haechan has to count to five in his head to stay calm before he speaks.
“You have no reason to be embarrassed. The most natural thing you can do is believe someone when they say they love you.” He murmurs, turning onto his side so he can pull you into a hug. When you curl into his body to bury your face in his chest he can only pray you can’t hear his heart pound against his ribs.
“He’s an idiot, and he didn’t deserve any of the love you gave him. I promise, you’re so much better off.”
Haechan hates the piece of himself that’s relieved your relationship has ended. The same piece that hated your ex the minute he met him, that feels heavy in your absence whenever you’re busy with anyone who isn’t him. The piece that crosses it’s fingers whenever you get this close in hopes that you’ll be the first one to cross the line, to finally do what he’s thought about doing for the last few months since he realized exactly how he felt about you.
“Thank you,” you mumble into his tear dampened shirt, lifting your leg over his to cuddle in even closer “thanks for always being my friend, even when I do dumb shit, like let boys be mean to me.”
He nuzzles his nose into your scalp, eyes fluttering shut at the smell of your shampoo “Thanks for letting me. Besides, even Beyoncé got cheated on, so you clearly aren’t that dumb.” the crowd in his brain cheers when you giggle into his chest.
“You’re so annoying.” He holds you even tighter.
———
“I can’t believe it,” your jaw drops and Haechan whips his head up nervously to look at you from across the couch
“What happened?”
“I got it, I got the job!” you shove his feet off your lap to jump up excitedly, bouncing on your toes as you read the email out loud. Haechan’s ears are ringing so loud he barely catches the first half, trying to shake off the dazed look he’s sure appears on his face.
“We were extremely impressed with your resume and even more so with the impression you left on the board during your interview, blah blah blah, excited to offer you this position, blah blah blah, and a relocation bonus to join us in in our new office!” the pitch of your voice rises a few octaves as you finish reading.
Haechan stares at you from his spot on the couch, eyes wide with shock that you’re too excited to notice, skimming your screen as you re-read the details in your offer letter.
His entire body is buzzing, torn between feeling excited at your accomplishment and sorry for himself.
He had a plan, a really good one, he thought. After your breakup you’d made it painfully clear that you wanted to be single for a while, and he knew if he could just be patient, it would all be worth it. So Haechan decided to bottle his feelings up, sitting patiently by your side where he had been for so many years, waiting for you to heal and hoping that when you were finally ready to start dating again he’d have mustered up the courage to make the first move.
“Lee Donghyuck, are you even listening to me!?” you drop your phone to pull him up off the couch, bouncing up and down with your fingers intertwined “I’m moving to my dream city, to start my dream job.” you reiterate and he snaps out of it, sweeping the imaginary shards of glass that his plan had been made out of under the rug and pulling you into a hug.
“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.”
“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.” You deadpan, but squeeze him back just as tight.
“I’m sorry, I’m going to miss you is all.” He admits, "I'd follow you if my job didn't keep me here."
“I’ll make sure you don’t miss me too much, don’t worry.” you plant your cheek on his chest, surprised at the relief you feel in hearing him say it first.
———
This feeling was still a little unfamiliar, nerves. Haechan had never made you nervous growing up; excited, annoyed, passionate maybe, but never nervous.
The nerves began last summer, when he’d come out to visit you for the first time to celebrate his birthday. It was the longest you’d gone without seeing each other since you’d met, almost ten full months and the anticipation was palpable.
When he steps through the airport doors you think that it’s the relief of finally being near him again that knocks the wind out of you. Running into his open arms and being squeezed so tightly in them that you tap his shoulder to let you breathe. Ruffling his hair when he steps back and ignoring the fact that he had grown so much since you’d seen him last.
But as the night goes on, the slight changes to the person you have memorized become glaringly obvious. The way his cheeks have lost some of their cushion, revealing a sharp jaw and pointed cheekbones. The natural wave in his once unruly hair now falling perfectly over his brow bone, he had dyed it a little darker which made his tan skin glow even in dim lighting. Even his smell seemed to draw you into a trance, a much more expensive version of the Haechan you know.
“You know, that group of girls has been staring over at you since we walked in.” You raise your eyebrows playfully, pointing your glass toward the pretty gaggle that keeps walking past the booth you and Haechan occupy.
He doesn’t break eye contact with you before shrugging, “I didn’t come here to see them, I came to see you.” he smiles, punctuating his thought by reaching over the table and tapping your nose.
“I know, I know,” you laugh, batting him away “It never hurts to know when people are staring, though”
His face is unreadable as he rests his arm lazily up over the bench of the booth, body sinking into the seat while he lifts his glass to swirl his drink, biting the words that have been resting on the tip of his tongue the entire trip, and at the end of every phone call since you started your new job.
“How are you, seriously.” You push. In the time since you moved he’d started and ended a relationship with a girl that you’d never met. Your new job kept you so busy that you hadn’t even learned about the breakup until a week later, when you finally had the time to call him back. The guilt of your absence weighs you down, resenting your inability to be there for him the way he had been for you in the past.
“I’m over it, seriously.” You know he’s telling the truth, but it’s in your nature to pry.
“You never really talked about, why, you know.”
“Do I have to?”
“No, I’m sorry, I just feel so behind on your life.” You sigh and push your empty glass to the side, swirling your finger in the ring of cold water it leaves behind.
“It’s okay, really. You’ve been busy, I understand.” He reaches across the table to stop your anxious fingers “I didn’t love her the way I knew I should, that’s all. It’s a good thing that it ended, and I’m happy that it did.”
“That’s all that matters, then.” and he’s grateful that you drop the subject.
You eventually get back to your apartment, both giggly and flush from the alcohol still fogging your brain despite the long walk you'd hoped would lessen it. Haechan holds your hand the whole way back, even when he stops suddenly to pet a dog, dragging you down to the ground with him. He can’t help himself, grateful that at this point you'd touched one another in every way other than what he dreams about most, and you seem oblivious to his need to be so close to you.
As you get ready for bed he lets himself watch you undress facing the wall away from him, unaware of his gaze burning into your backside and the way his fingers tingle at the thought of pulling at the meat of your hips. He scolds his heart for thudding so loud when you squeeze your eyes into a smile at his reflection standing next to yours at the sink while you brush your teeth, the domestication of your friendship that he used to appreciate now suffocating him.
You put on a movie and invite him to rest his head on the pillow in your lap, wishing he could bury his nose into the skin of your thighs beneath it. Halfway through the movie he has to sit up to hide the way his cock is hardening at the feeling of your nails combing through his hair and down his shoulder, occasionally thrumming over his chest. He pulls a blanket off the back of the couch and tosses it over his legs as casually as possible, pulling you into his side by your shoulder, the other arm stretched across the back of the couch.
"Are you cold for the first time in your life?" Haechan never wants to use a blanket, but you’re grateful for the position giving you access to bury your face into his chest, gripping his shirt.
"No, just want to be warmer." he presses a blushing cheek onto the top of your head, trying to think of anything except the way your hair smells, or the feeling of the side of your breast brushing his wrist through your shirt. Haechan feels eighteen again and like he's discovering the connection between romantic and sexual feelings for the first time in his life. He tries to match his breathing to yours, holding his breath whenever you shift in his hold and reconnecting his stomach with your back as quickly as possible. The temptation to pour his heart out is overwhelming, but when he feels your body completely relax into his and your breathing slow down, the words become trapped in his throat, so he lets you sleep.
Haechan had never experienced a shorter 48 hours than that weekend he spent following you around the city you now call home.
You’re shining in your new space, and he happily trails behind you to all the places you’ve discovered in the almost year since you moved. His stomach does somersaults whenever you point something out that reminds you of him.
“I’ve been waiting to come here until you could come with me!” you're so excited to take him to the video game themed coffee shop that your co-workers had recommended “I thought about coming to see if it was even worth it, but I only want to play these kinds of games with you anyway.”
Sometimes he can forget about his feelings for you, when things are just as they always have been. You talk with and touch him the same, laugh at his jokes the same. He thinks that if he were to ever say out loud what he’s been feeling, that the two of you would still be the same but with a little More, ‘you guys’ but on steroids. So when everything is normal he can pretend like it‘a not. He can act like the More is there when you hold his hand to drag him around to the different machines, play games he wants to play even if you don’t want to, you even wipe ice cream off of his chin when his cone starts to melt because he’s talking too much to eat and he wonders why it took him so long to see it this way, and if you could too.
He keeps thinking the moment will come, when he’ll know spilling his guts to you is the right thing to do. But between you gushing over how much you love your new life and your willingness to point out every girl who has blinked at him this weekend, he completely loses the steam he’d gained during his flight, regardless of how his imagination runs wild with the More.
He curses himself the entire weekend for his lack of bravery, hoping that keeping his feelings in is the right decision. After his recent relationship crashed and burned because of his feelings for you he thought he had no choice but to come clean. But watching you, being with you in your new life makes him realize that his role in it hasn’t changed even if his feelings for you have.
The lump in his throat as he stands outside the departure doors is more than just sadness at the thought of leaving you, it’s the realization that he has to let the romantic idea of you go.
“How come you never cry when we have to leave each other,” you hiccup into his chest, and he coos your name lovingly.
“Don’t worry, you know I save my tears for the plane to make everyone in my row uncomfortable.” He knows that you hate that he’s making you laugh at a time like this, pulling away so you can swat his chest and he raises his hands in surrender.
“When will we be able to see each other again?”
“As soon as possible.” He nods reassuringly, wiping your tears with his thumb, heart pounding as he stares into your watering eyes “hey, you’re my best friend in the world, you annoy me every day, and I love you.”
“Whatever, I love you too.” you laugh, but his heart speeds up at the words that you’ve said to him thousands of times. You sweep your arms around him one last time before pushing him toward the airport doors “you better go, if you miss your flight I can’t guarantee I’ll let you leave at all.”
“Don’t tempt me.” He walks backwards slowly, staring at you with a ‘kicked puppy’ kind of face he mastered years ago and you wave enthusiastically, blowing loud kisses into the air that he catches and clutches to his heart.
“This is it,” he thinks, “this has to be it.”
———
Haechan is dreaming about you. He has been nightly ever since he got back from his birthday weekend. He’s grateful the dreams have variety, since some of them overwhelm him to the point of waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.
Sometimes, you’re young again and whenever anyone says “You know, it’s just a matter of time until one of you has a crush on the other.” you both theatrically gag, laughing at each other as if it were the most insane idea in the world. Or, you're sitting on his childhood couch watching your guys' favorite movie for the hundredth weekend in a row, vocalizing the parts of the two main characters and recreating all the best scenes.
Sometimes you’re at his apartment just hanging out together, which are dreams that feel so real he almost expects to see you in his kitchen when he wakes up. Most of these dreams spark a deja vu laced flame in his gut so deep he finds himself confusing them with memories. The ache of missing you wakes him up before his alarm some mornings, and he finds himself face timing you once he knows you're awake just to watch you make coffee and wash your face.
But sometimes, he has dreams that make him feel so ashamed he can barely text you back in the morning. Dreams where he reaches to touch you and you let him, where you tug at his hair and moan his name while he does all the things that he can only do to you in his sleep. He hates to say that these are his favorite, but it's the one dream he knows he'll never actually achieve and he goes to bed every night praying for them.
That’s the kind of dream he’s having when his phone buzzes him awake. He answers without looking because there are only a handful of people who can reach him when he’s on ‘do not disturb’, and you’re one of them. He hums a sleepy greeting into his phone, putting it on speaker next to his pillow and nearly drifting right back into the dream and between your thighs.
“Donghyuck” his eyes shoot open at the sound of your voice “did i wake you up?”
He can practically hear the pout in your voice, squinting at the time on his phone, “Yes, it’s three in the morning,” he stares down to where he’s half hard, running an embarrassed hand over his face even though there’s no possible way for you to know “are you okay?”
“No, well technically yes but I miss you which means things could be better.” you slur your words and Haechan smiles, somehow he's never annoyed that you call him pretty much every time you drink. He thinks it's because he's familiar with this version of you, though he definitely hasn't seen it often since college graduation. This version of you loves him hard, and is never afraid to say it.
"I miss you too," he takes a beat before adding "I was dreaming about you just now."
You gasp excitedly "Really! What were we doing." He smirks at the thought of telling you that you had been sitting on his face, hand reaching back for his cock while he guides your cunt over his tongue until you were shaking above him.
"Just, hanging out." he shrugs. It's his second time this week alone dreaming of your clit bumping his nose, and the thought makes his mouth water.
"I don't believe you." You say accusingly "that's way too boring for a mind like yours to dream up."
"What exactly is my mind like?" He yawns, throwing his forearm over his eyes.
"Oh, you know," you hum "your mind is a galaxy, with at least a billion planets and twice as many stars. I wish I could fly into your head and explore it, but NASA doesn't have the funds."
Haechan holds his breath at your compliment, the smile on his face so wide he can hear it in his own voice "That sounds like an episode of Magic School Bus."
"Your brain is definitely cooler than some cartoon, it's pretty much my favorite place on Earth."
"How would you know, you've never actually been inside?" He shakes his head, teasing you gently. Hearing words like these come out of your mouth breaks his heart and glues it back together at the same time.
"Are you saying you never think about me?" you ask him, not an ounce of sarcasm in your voice.
"I think about you all the time, I promise, all the planets in my brain are shaped like you." You hum, pleased with his response. He shuts his eyes and waits for your answer.
"Yeah, all the planets in mine are shaped like you, too." you pause for a second and add "plus all the stars, I win, I think about you more."
———
This time when Haechan comes to visit you, you know the nerves are more than just excitement at seeing your best friend. It’s a feeling that is nestled so deep in your stomach it makes you a little nauseous. You haven't seen him since you went home for the holidays and he only has one night in the city. You find yourself grueling over your reflection in the mirror, not used to being self conscious in front of him. You’re only going out for happy hour, but you put yourself together to last all night.
When Haechan finally arrives he whistles lowly, making you blush when he pulls out of your hug and requests a spin.
“I appreciate that you got so dressed up for me.” He teases, hoping you don’t catch his eyes sweeping over your legs, wanting to commit you in this dress to memory.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” you roll your eyes as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours making sure you looked as perfect as possible. Hoping he doesn’t see the pile of clothes shoved into your closet from all the failed attempts.
“Never,” he grabs your purse off of the counter and opens the door, sweeping his arm out in front of him dramatically “after you. There are some strangers outside who are waiting to catch a glimpse of you, they just don’t know it yet.”
“You are so dramatic.” You lock the door behind you, using the moment facing away from him to collect yourself. Lately you catch yourself wondering if he'd always been so flirtatious, or if you're just forcing meaning behind his words because of how badly you want him to be.
“What, a guy can’t compliment his best friend?”
You smile widely at him and grab your bag out of his grasp, popping your key inside and walking toward the entrance of your building. Praying your fingers stop shaking when you finally get a drink in you. Haechan throws his arm around your shoulders while you walk down the street to your favorite cocktail bar and you're grateful for his usual chatter, talking to you about work and his slow climb up the ladder.
“They put me in a hotel this time, so you don’t have to worry about making me breakfast in the morning.” He smiles at you, sipping his drink gingerly.
“You know I never cook you breakfast.” He feels so far away across the table and you wish that you were sitting next to him instead, shoulders cold without the weight of his arm around them. It feels so good to have him touch you, to feel like you're his. There's a small part of you that feels guilty for using his knack for physical affection to your advantage, he has no idea what the heat of his skin on yours does.
“I know, but all the meetings are in the hotel anyway so it’s easier this time to just stay there.”
You try not to let yourself visibly deflate at the news, wanting to keep him for yourself the whole time he’s in town. His knee presses against yours under the table and you focus all your energy into acting the way you would have before, but you can’t focus on anything else and cross your legs to pull away from him as casually as possible. As badly as you want to touch him, sometimes you can’t.
“What time do you have to be up?”
He groans, leaning back enough that his knee now slides against your shin, “too early,” and glances down at his now empty glass, motioning to the bartender for another “which means you need to drink faster, so I can stop at a reasonable hour.”
You smile, downing the rest of your drink in one gulp, when his foot taps against yours you know it's going to be a long night.
The end of the night finds you together on your couch with a shared bottle of wine sitting empty on the coffee table, his early meetings temporarily forgotten. You and Haechan have been in this position plenty of times, drunk, slap happy and overly touchy in a way that you had always been comfortable being with one another. The difference now is you, this version of you who wants your best friend in an entirely different way.
Every time he pulls you closer you feel electricity shoot straight to your heart so intensely that you have to duck out of his grasp. You don’t know what to do with the feelings that have been growing gradually from your toes up, now practically sprouting out of your scalp with a neon sign blinking “I’m in love with you” over and over.
“Why do you keep doing that?” Haechan whines when you all but flinch away from his hand reaching for his phone near your arm. He’d been aware of it all night, the space you left between the two of you while you walked back from the bar, your sudden inability to maintain the eye contact that he craved. The complete lack of physical touch makes him feel dejected.
“Doing what?” You give him a panicked look, practically sober at the thought of being found out, of what it would feel like to be rejected by him.
“You’re not letting me touch you,” he frowns, and the alcohol buzzes through your veins again “not that you need to let me, but you only avoid it like this when you’re upset. Did I do something?” he pouts, tired eyes low when he flops his head onto his bicep resting on the back of the couch. You forget to breathe for a second when he looks up at you under dark lashes.
“I’m not upset. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” you’re lying through your teeth, but scoot an inch closer to him to make your point. He doesn’t look convinced, and if you’d had less to drink you may have noticed the mischievous glint in his eye before he grabs you by your arm, knocking you off balance and into his chest.
“See,” he sighs happily, wrapping his arms around your body and you can feel his chest buzz when he hums, cheek pressed to the top of your head. You have no choice but to ungracefully shift your lower body closer to him, making yourself a sponge and soaking in his familiar touch “isn’t that better?”
You nod, “Yes, it is better.” and you really wish he didn’t know you so well, that even in his fifth hour of being drunk he can read your mind. He pulls your ear off his heart to grab your cheeks, smushing them together and whispering your name with a shake of his head.
“What is it?” he urges, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist to loosen his grip. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and count to three in your head before you can talk yourself out of leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.
You feel him falter for a half second before he’s kissing you back, pulling your face closer and pushing his body toward yours. You can’t hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears when his tongue touches yours, and then suddenly his mouth is gone. He moves so quick you have to put your arms out to stop yourself from face planting into the cushion he had just been sitting on.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” you gasp “i shouldn’t have done that, Haechan, I’m so sorry.”
It takes everything in you to look up to where he’s now standing with his arms crossed over his chest protectively. You have no idea what he’s thinking, staring down at you with wide eyes. Insecurity sweeps through you under his intense gaze, and you almost beg him to say something.
“I’m seeing someone,” the way the confession rings in your ears would have you believing that he screamed the words, but his voice was barely above a whisper “shit, I’m sorry.”
You aren’t sure if it’s your life that flashes before your eyes, or your years of friendship with him, at this point the two tend to blur together.
“That’s-” you sit back on your calves and inhale shakily, knowing it’s not even worth it to attempt to fake any sort of excitement for him “why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs, swallowing thickly and pulling his eyes away from your face to stare at the ceiling “It’s new and I didn’t know how. It just never came up.”
“Well then, I’m sorry that it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me.” grateful that he’s finally the one avoiding eye contact with you so he doesn’t see your legs wobble when you stand “probably best to pretend that never happened. I’m just drunk and I missed you-”
Your name sounds so pathetic when he says it this time and you think it’s the eighth wonder of the natural world that you haven’t started crying yet. You shake your head instead, wishing so desperately that you had changed out of the dress you were wearing as you pull the slinky material down your thighs.
“Honestly, Haechan,” You regret your next words before they even hit the air “you should probably go. You have an early morning.”
The shock on his face pains you, but you can’t stand to see what you can only assume is pity growing in his eyes for another second.
“I don’t want to go, I want to talk about this.”
“I’m sorry.” you say again and his shoulders slump in defeat, recognizing that you’d made up your mind.
“It’s okay.” He means it, shuffling forward and the look on your face is nearly enough to bring him to his knees. His breath catches when you shift away the inch he moved toward you, eyes locked on his and he can see the desperation in them before he hears it in your voice.
“Text me when you get to the hotel?” your voice cracks with a heavy mix of exhaustion and embarrassment that makes him nods once, grabbing his things and walking slowly toward your door. He turns to look at you, but his words catch in his throat when he sees your eyes begin to water, mustering up all his energy to offer what he prays is a reassuring smile before letting himself out.
You sink back into the couch when the door clicks shut, head hanging in your hands as the tears finally start to flow. You cry so hard you feel like you could throw up, replaying his rejection over and over in your mind, shame and regret coursing through your veins. Pure embarrassment heats your body at the look on his face when he told you he was seeing someone, and you’re not sure if it was disgust or pity in his eyes.
On top of the rejection, knowing that he didn’t feel like he could share something as big as meeting someone with you was a dagger to the heart, up until recently you had never kept a secret from him, and even this one you clearly couldn’t keep in for long.
You force yourself into the shower, scrubbing angrily at your skin under the scalding water. You get out once your fingers have pruned and your skin feels raw, avoiding the mirror on your way to your bedroom. You kick angrily at the dress you'd left on the floor, watching it land near the pile of outfits you had discarded while getting ready.
Haechan had texted you nearly thirty minutes earlier
“made it back”
you give it a thumbs up before turning your phone off, setting an alarm with the clock on your side table and letting the emotional exhaustion lull you to sleep.
------
Haechan is realizing that there is no way in hell that you need space more than he needs to talk to you. He tries to call you multiple times the first week after you kissed him but you never answered, and Haechan doesn’t want to push you to the point of no return. What he really wants is to go back in time and not leave you that night, but the pain in your eyes was so pronounced he couldn't bare to make it any worse. The only physical proof that you had kissed him at all being the stupid blue thumbs up on the text he had sent you that night. It's followed by a slew of reassuring texts, saying that he broke up with his girlfriend and if you would please just talk to him, that he's not mad.
This is the feeling he carries with him nearly two weeks later on the flight to you, when he’s sure that another minute of silence from you will kill him. By the time he gets to your apartment it’s almost midnight, so he knocks loud enough to wake you up.
When you open the door in a shirt he thinks might be his, Haechan knows he has no choice. He's speaking before you can say anything, before he can change his mind.
"I came here to tell you that I think you're being really stupid." He curses internally for the obvious nerves in his voice, your tired eyes widen with shock at his words.
"Excuse me?"
"Years ago you made me swear that I would tell you if you ever came up with a reason not to be my friend anymore. So I'm telling you now, I think you're being really fucking stupid."
"I'm not doing that" You defend yourself, tearing up at the sight of him. He pushes into your apartment, shutting the door behind him and standing close enough to touch. He’s staring you down with pleading eyes, and you bury your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him.
“Then why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you let me fix this?”
“I don’t know I just,” you inhale shakily “I don't know how to do it right now, not like this."
"Like what?" He hopes he already knows the answer, but needs to hear you say it, to know that you’re as serious as he is. Your mouth feels full of cotton when he forces you to look at him by whispering your name, pulling your hands from your face and his heart pinches tightly at the tears welling in your eyes "please tell me, please. Like what?"
"You already know," your bottom lip betrays you, voice weak beneath heavy emotion when you speak "I love you, Haechan. I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I fucked everything up, but I can’t undo it."
He feels his lungs fill with relief. Haechan steps forward to close the small gap between your bodies, grabbing your jaw to rest his forehead against yours. You falter, but his hand on the small of your back keeps you from going anywhere, he's practically panting and you can barely stand, dizzy with the feeling of him. You want to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming when he whispers "You didn't fuck anything up."
He ghosts his lips over yours for a moment until he's sure you're not going to stop him. When he finally kisses you it's with years of pent up adoration, directing your arms around his neck and pressing his thumb firmly into your jaw, long fingers wrapping around the side of your throat. He practically whines when your fingers tighten in his hair and your lips part for his warm tongue. His arm wraps around your waist so tightly you have to hinge backward to keep your mouths connected, gasping at the strength you didn't know he had.
He keeps your stomach flush to his own and kisses you until you're practically limp in his arms, pulling away to breathe. His eyes are shut as he rubs his nose over yours
"I love you, too. I've been meaning to tell you for a while." All the blood rushes into your ears at his words and you can't stop your biggest worry from spilling into the air.
“What if you change your mind?”
“I made up my mind a long time ago, there's nothing you could do to change it." He blinks his eyes open, pulling his face away from yours just enough to see you, the trepidation in your eyes makes him say your name quietly.
"It's only me, you know me," he assures you in a hushed tone "you have to know by now that you are my entire world."
You could laugh, only him, as if he hasn’t been one of the most important people in your life since the day you met. As if he isn’t someone who has seen you at every stage of it so far. It’s Haechan, who has always been funny, who has witnessed the worst sides of you and never made you feel bad, who has never left your side.
You kiss him again, fingers wrapping in tight fists around his shirt to keep yourself grounded. Haechan’s heart pounds happily in his chest and he hopes you can feel it this time, both hands nestling into your hair. He kisses you gently in an effort to slow down your urgent movements, moaning at the taste of your mouth. You fall into his rhythm easily, the way his tongue rolls gently over yours makes your body go up in flames. You move your hands to slide beneath his shirt, landing on the strong muscles in his back and teasing your fingers up his sides.
When you finally come up for air he stares at you for a minute before laughing, stomach tightening beneath your fingers when he does.
"What's funny?" you shut your eyes, leaning your forehead into his chest, letting the pretty sound ring in your ears.
"Nothing, I'm just-" he cuts himself off with a shrug, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your head "I love you, and you love me back. That's all, that's how easy it is."
"It hasn't been easy at all, in fact my life has been very very hard since your birthday last year.” He pulls away from your head to ogle at you.
"My birthday last year?" You nod, feeling your cheeks flush under his intense gaze, it had really been that long "God, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot."
He's kissing you again before you can ask him to elaborate, grabbing hold of both wrists in one hand while he walks you backward and guides you up onto the counter as slowly as he has to in order to keep his lips on yours. His hips are the perfect height for you to wrap your legs around, gasping in surprise when he slides his hands around your ass and presses your core tightly against the growing bulge in his jeans.
You feel shy when you pull away to ask if he wants to go to your bedroom, feeling frozen in place when he stares at you with half lidded eyes, his plump lips swollen and red.
"Tonight, I'm just kissing you." Every cell in his body is screaming in protest at his own words. He can't express how badly he wants to do everything else, to recreate his dreams, to learn the parts of your body he'd never seen before. But he can't imagine doing anything but this tonight, just this; his lips on yours, your breath in his lungs and your body melting into his.
"Why?” your eyebrows pull together in confusion. You practically shiver with need, tucking your arms between your stomachs and burying your nose in his throat. His laugh buzzes against your face, rubbing his hands gently over your shoulders and trying to control his own breathing as your lips brush over his skin.
All he can say is, “Because I’ve been needing to for a long time.”
“How long?” You pull away from his chest, leaning back onto your hands and closing your eyes when he runs his own down your sternum and over your waist, groping at the flesh of your hips and trying not to regret his romantic side.
“Way too long.”
“Your birthday?” you ask, tugging gently at his shirt. He plants his hands outside of your legs to lean in close, one corner of his mouth pulling up.
“Much longer.” Your eyes widen in shock, and he interrupts you before you can question him “can we talk about it later? I have something really important to do tonight.”
———
He tells you that he's had feelings for you since senior year of college, when you kissed Jeno. He tells you about his plan to admit everything when he had seen you on his birthday, but that he was too scared. He assures you he ended his relationship the moment he got back home the previous week “because everyone has felt like a matter of 'when' it will end, not 'if',” He tells you that just two weeks of your silence hurt worse than any previous heartbreak, and you agree. And before you fell asleep next to him he tells you again, ‘I'm so in love with you.’ and shimmies excitedly when you say it back before kissing you until you can barely keep your eyes open. He holds your cheeks in his hands and practically lulls you to sleep with his tongue, plush lips pressing to yours so gently you can hardly feel them dotting around the rest of your face. He thinks he could do this forever before sleep finally catches up with him, his arm slung over your side to hold your face to his chest.
You wake up curled into a familiar side, your first emotion being giddy as the night floods back to you. Despite your obvious willingness to go further, Haechan had meant it when he said he'd only be kissing you. It made you crazy at first, but when the two of you were staring at each other in the mirror with shy eyes while moving through a nighttime routine you had gotten familiar with years before, you were happy he had the self control you clearly lack. The idea of him actually seeing and touching you in ways he never had before, of doing all the things you'd found yourself imagining him doing over the last year; it was overwhelming. Kissing until your jaw was sore and your lips were swollen felt easy.
You’re startled by Haechan’s hand reaching for yours, holding your palm and bringing your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to each one, “good morning.” his voice is deep and tired, mouth landing on the crown of your head.
"Good morning." You press your nose into his chest happily, gripping his hand in yours and resisting the urge to squeal with delight.
"What are you so excited about, me?" He teases, hand falling on your thigh to guide your leg up the front of his, stopping just below his crotch and you hope he's going to give you what you'd been wanting all night, for the last year.
"You, I just can't believe how happy I am." You admit, lifting your head off of his chest to smile at him. He pulls you right back down, kissing your lips once before rolling you both over so he's on top of you. He presses a hand over your collarbone and drags his lips down your chin and over your throat.
"You know, this means you're all mine now." he smirks against your neck when you nod, gasping when he sucks gently at the base. He has one forearm on the mattress, the other hand too gentle on your ribs. You can feel that he's hard and you immediately roll your hips up.
"Does this mean you're gonna do more than just kiss me now?" you intend to sound confident, but it comes out as a whimper. His nose brushes over your jaw before he presses lingering kisses to your chin and cheek.
"Yes, baby, if you'll let me." You nod eagerly, shifting your face so your lips are beneath his and sighing happily when he lowers his weight onto your torso, licking into your mouth. You shiver with anticipation when he pushes at your shirt, long fingers tickling up your side before landing on your breast. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes over your already hard nipple.
Your impatience is overwhelming, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it up to his shoulders. He pulls away reluctantly, reaching one hand toward his back and pulling his shirt over his head. You gnaw at your lip, running your hands over his stomach and hooking your knees around his hips as much as you can while stretching your arms over your head.
“Cute.” he murmurs, pulling your shirt up and tossing it to the side. He gropes at your chest, tongue wetting his lips before he leans down to wrap them around one of your nipples. He’s trying to act without thinking, to let the dreams he’s had pave the path down your body because he knows the second he acknowledges his nerves he won’t be able to shake them off. His heart thrums when you gasp above him, arching your chest into his mouth. He’s greedy for your sounds, his hands squeezing your breasts together and licking between them to get to the other nipple. When your hips buck up into his he groans, pulling away from your chest and staring down at you with wondering eyes.
“Can I?” He feels unnaturally shy, leaning back on his calves and watching his fingers press dimples into the flesh of your hips above your underwear, tugging at the hem.
“You don’t need to ask.” He smiles, forcing you to sit by grabbing the back of your neck for a kiss. His fingers press into your clothed core and your hips roll into his hand. He sighs into your mouth at your desperation, torn between teasing you and touching you everywhere.
You can’t keep your legs from shutting around his arm when he pushes your panties to the side and slides his middle and ring finger up your wet center, circling over your clit.
You pull away from the kiss, blinking up at him and your mouth falls open when he presses firmly on your clit, rubbing in slow circles. His head hangs as he lets out a quiet “fuck” at your reaction, moving his hand off your neck to stroke over your stomach and without it behind your head you have to lie back, he presses your legs open. Haechan stares at your chest while he settles between your knees, pushing two fingers inside your dripping core. His jaw hangs open, watching his knuckles disappear inside of you.
“So soft,” he breathes, staring down to where his fingers glisten when he pulls them out to rub over your clit again, palming over his cock getting harder in his sweats “want to be everywhere at once.”
“Want you everywhere.” you whine when his fingers pull away to hook into your underwear, tugging them down your legs. Haechan stands to strip and you hold your breath and soak in the soft swell of his hip that leads to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs. It’s pretty like the rest of him, and thicker than you'd expected with a leaking tip that matches the color of his tongue, he strokes himself once and you don’t get the chance to reach for him before he lays back on the bed, rolling you to sit on top of him. You shudder when your pulsing clit rubs over his stomach, inner thigh squeezing into his ribs. He runs his hands up your waist, scooting you an inch higher and grabbing onto your tits.
“Do you remember a few months ago, when you called me drunk and I told you I was dreaming about hanging out with you?” He shivers when you grind down in response, wet pussy sliding easily over his skin “I lied.”
Your hands press into his chest, tilting your head “what were we doing?” you can barely speak above a whisper when he pinches gently at your nipple with one hand, the other rubbing over your ribs when he smirks up at you.
“You were about a foot higher than you are right now,” you gasp and reach out to grab the headboard when he jolts his hips to move you up his chest, staring down at him with wide eyes as he shifts to wrap his arms under your legs, fingers pressing into your thighs.
“You dreamt about this?” you let him bring your hips to hover over his face, hands falling into his hair when he brushes his nose over your clit as he nods.
“All the time,” he moans and drags you down onto his face, lips wrapping around your clit. You shudder above him, letting some of your weight collapse into your heels and he groans happily at the pressure of you on his chin, pressing you harder onto his mouth to fuck his tongue into you. He wants to devour you, every sound you make goes straight to his cock which is already rock hard at the taste and smell of you. Even just thinking about the fact that it's your hips grinding over his face right now is enough to make him moan into your pussy.
You slur out praise, one of your hands shooting up to grip the headboard. His hands wander gently up your sides, eyes opening to stare up to where he plays with your tits, hard cock pulsing at the sight of your head thrown back, hips moving in gentle circles over his face. Haechan’s hand tugs yours down to his hair, trying to restrain himself from thrusting into the empty air at the feeling of you all over him. He hums happily into your pussy when you start to grind over his mouth, flattening his tongue for you to ride until your legs are shaking.
He lets out a deep “mmhmm” when you warn him that you’re going to cum, suckling hard on your clit until you’re practically begging him to let you go, body crumpling forward with both hands tangled in his hair. He's grateful you didn't touch his cock, just the thought of your fingers wrapped around him is enough to make him cum and he has other plans.
You can’t speak when you collapse onto the mattress beside him, immediately warmed by the weight of his body on top of yours as he slots himself between your thighs, sucking a hickey onto the front of your throat.
“Taste too fucking good,” he hums, mouthing over your chin and cheek “been dreaming of eating your sweet pussy for so long.” you practically swoon when he kisses you, pre-cum wetting the inside of your thigh when he relaxes his stomach onto yours.
“Hyuck, want you in me, please” Your vision is blurry, whining into his swollen lips. He works them over your cheek before pulling away from you, bringing one of your legs up to his shoulder and you rest the other knee on his hip. He can feel himself pant when he taps the head of his cock on your swollen clit, practically drooling when he sticks barely the tip inside before pulling back and repeating the tantalizing motion.
“Been waiting for too long to be teased,” you pout, trying to encourage his hips toward yours with the ankle he’s not pressing his cheek into. He smirks and circles his leaking tip over you again, watching his cock spread your arousal around before he pushes into you a little further.
“I’m taking my time with you, feels so fucking good.” He can’t look away from between your thighs, messy hair hanging over his forehead while his fingers grip your ankle tightly. You whimper when he pulls all the way out again, one more hard tap against your pulsing clit before he pushes himself halfway into your leaking pussy. You rise onto your elbows, trying to reach one hand to grab for his hip but he releases the base of his cock to stop you by lacing your fingers together. When Haechan finally looks into your eyes he bottoms out, stretching your leg toward your chest so he can lean in. His hips stutter, a choked groan rumbling deep in his chest.
“Oh my god, Hyuck please.” you beg him to move with a gasp. His forehead presses to your chin, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Fuck, baby, been needing you," he thrusts into you slowly, lifting his head to look down at you glowing beneath him with your eyes shut. He pulls out all the way before thrusting back inside, quickening his hips when your eyes flutter open, the look on your face enough to make his balls tighten slightly, shutting his eyes to regain self control "knew you'd feel so fucking good."
"M’so full, Haechan." you moan at his words and the rapid slap of his hips on the back of your thighs, forcing your eyes to stay open so you can see his face. The way his nose scrunches with focus when he pulls away from your chest, both his hands wrapping firmly around your hips while he watches his cock sink into you. Brown, shaggy hair sticks to his damp forehead, full lower lip taken between his teeth. He’s pure, unadulterated boyish beauty, and he’s all yours.
You squeak when he lets your leg drop off his shoulder, pressing your thigh as far open as it will go with your heel digging into his backside. He fans his fingers over your lower stomach, thumb reaching down to push your clit side to side and your hips tuck up for more pressure, Haechan moans loudly when the movement causes you to clamp around his cock, "Perfect fucking pussy, can't believe it's mine now. Like my fingers on your pretty clit?”
You nod enthusiastically, letting go of your breasts to hold the backs of your thighs, Haechan's eyes move up your body to stare at your chest move beneath him, nipples looking sweet as candy. He’s dying to sink his fingers into the softest part of your stomach, the way you’re moving for him makes his mind turn to sand. You stare down to where his thumb is making circles over your clit, perfectly timed with the head of his cock bruising your g-spot. You feel a second orgasm build and the corner of his mouth pulls up proudly when your legs shake. Your head hangs back as you gasp for air, "yes, please, Haechan feels so fucking good."
"Make the prettiest noises for me, want you cumming all over my cock." he leans forward just enough to trap your throat beneath the weight of his palms, other hand still moving over your swollen clit. You smile at the pressure of his body on yours, eyes fluttering shut while you moan. You nod desperately when he asks if you can do that, "if you can let me make you feel that good, please, my pretty girl."
He takes his hand off your throat when you cum, wanting to hear every sound you could possibly make. You repeat his name like a blessing that has him cumming with you, moaning and breathless as his hips start to slow, milking you both through your orgasms.
You wrap your arms around him when he pulls out of you, reveling in the feeling of him when he lowers himself down, burrowing his face into your neck and warming your skin with his breath. You hold him there for a minute until he pulls his head up, dopey smile lighting up his eyes and making you laugh.
“What?” you scrunch your nose at him “better than your dreams?”
He nods, “so much better, best I ever had, my body belongs to you now.” he smirks at his own words, but his tone is so gentle he can’t even call it a joke.
“Just your body?” you tease, and he leans his nose onto your lips for a kiss that you carry onto the mole under his eye.
“Body, mind, heart, soul,” he sighs happily when you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently “all the planets in my head.”
"All the planets in my head too."
————
masterlist
authors note // this ended up being much longer than i anticipated, maybe the longest one shot i’ve ever actually written! i appreciate everyone who voted for happy ending because when i was originally thinking of a sad ending it was too hard lol. this feels forever unfinished because there is so much good to this version of haechan, i adore him.
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tyxoxo · 11 months
Text
Cherry Waves
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pairing: jeno x fem!reader
genre: thriller, angst, kidnapper/stalker jeno au, jaemin + mark inserts
words: 11.9k
warnings: stalking, kidnapping, murder, blood, knives, cnc smut, oral, fingering, choking/breath play, voyeurism, spitting, unprotected sex, its lowkey giving incel, post-traumatic stress, stockholm syndrome
(this is purely fiction, warnings in bold mean potentially triggering cotent)
a/n: the feds prolly looking at my search history like “👀” but on another note, this is the longest piece of writing i’ve ever published. so pls pls pls! send feedback! this was a rollercoaster of a fic to write ._.
major hugs and kisses to @glitchfiles for helping me decide on an ending and @pradajaehyun for proofreading!
playlist: 
deftones - cherry waves • rosemary • bored • be quiet and drive
clams casino - blast
“i’m kind of scared. do you think it’ll bite?” 
“noo, don’t worry baby. it won’t. squirrels are always welcome to food.” your boyfriend reassured you, chuckling in the presence of your endearing timidness. 
the two of you were currently exploring a nature park, choosing to celebrate your 5 year anniversary in the outdoors, away from the bustling city life.
“here, just take the almond and approach them slowly, they’ll come.” he said as he handed you one to start, out of the bag that read Blue Diamond Almonds.
“how about you go first?” 
the two of you shared a laugh, your partner nonetheless agreeing to demonstrate.
just like you expected, he took one almond in his hand and began to tread softly over to a family of kits, and a mother. the four were eagerly awaiting the treat, using their noses to scour over to him. one baby squirrel was more brave than the others as the rest halted once your boyfriend began to kneel down. 
in one sniff and a switch of its tail, the squirrel grabbed the almond and hurried back to his family. 
“see! not that hard! your turn.” he rose up in the process, standing close by in case you opted out. 
“alright, here i gooo.” you geared up the courage, doing exactly as he did, approaching softly towards the group of squirrels. 
you cocked your head to the side in curiosity at the fact they all ran away in unison, back into the green shrubs they called home. and with not enough time to save you, you heard the scuffing of shoes against pavement and a loud crack sound to follow. 
as you turned towards the deafening sound, your boyfriend collapsed onto the floor, his head making contact with the concrete in just as strong of a crash that you heard just mere seconds before.
you weren’t sure if a scream managed to escape, as the hooded figure armed with the hammer made sure that you weren’t conscious to tell the tale.
the constant motion of your head banging against a hard surface is what stirred you. your eyelids were heavy, not just from the forced slumber, but from the blood that managed to seep down from your scalp and cake onto your skin. the familiar smell of iron flooded your senses, reminding you of your current state. 
somehow you were moving, not on your own accord. you couldn’t have been... your hands and feet were bound with what felt like rope, based on the friction as it dug in your skin. 
you were moving inside a van, laying down in a fetal position, with your boyfriend across from you doing the same; though he didn’t seem to be conscious.
it was hard to tell if he was breathing, due to the jounce of the van driving over rough terrain. 
the entire vehicle wasn’t average, all of the backseats were gone, not even folded down into a compartment. it felt industrial, with what seemed like new steel framework covering the entire interior. 
you lacked the energy to produce any sound, let alone turn to the direction of the driver's seat to see who was transporting you. the salt from your tears was the last you could recall before falling back into a deep sleep. 
to say you reanimated back in the comfort of your own home, with your partner by your side would be the highlight of your life. to say that what all happened was merely a dream. 
yet, your harsh reality was thrust upon you once you awoke again. all of your limbs were still bound, with the only appropriate action being observing where you were now.
you were placed on a cold, grey concrete floor, plastic tarp covering the walls and ceiling, with a single LED work light standing in the corner offering plenty of illumination. a standalone workbench was positioned against the left wall, with an abundance of mechanical tools to satisfy any technician. 
you knew you were still covered in your own blood, but the smell wasn’t there anymore. instead the nauseating odor of overused bleach coming from a nearby bathroom overtook your senses. 
your vision finally began to focus on your boyfriend who was lying directly across from you. 
you weren’t sure if your attacker merely forgot to tape your mouths shut in a haste or simply didn’t care. either way, you used what freedom you had left to call out, your scream resonating enough to wake him up.
he winced, teeth covered in crimson from the aftermath of his blunt force trauma. once he met your eyes, tears began to well; relieved to know he was breathing, but pained to see him struggling for clarity.  
he scanned the room, just as you did, then settled upon your crying eyes. 
“are you okay?! please, tell me you’re okay!” 
he was selfless just like always, more concerned about your well-being than his own. 
“i-im okay.” 
truly you weren’t. your head was pounding, and your arms were beginning to fall asleep from being bound. 
“i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you. im-” 
“no! don’t say that! we need to get out of here now!” you cut him off immediately, not wanting his words to add onto the anguish you were already feeling.
“just stay there and i’ll come to you.” 
you nodded as he began to shimmy along the cold floor, using his coarse shoe soles to push along the concrete. 
he paused every other moment, most likely feeling dizzy from his injury.
your hopes were crushed when he was halfway. the sound of multiple door locks being fidgeted with, echoed throughout what you assumed to be the basement. the door creaked, and slammed shut even louder. your boyfriend stopped moving, knowing the end was potentially near. 
the view of who or what coming down the stairs was obstructed by the tarp covered wall but within seconds, you saw a man.
who didn’t bother to cover his face.
you kept the fact that he was attractive repressed in your mind. it was more important to realize that you would likely die here now that you saw what he looked like. 
he was tall, lean, and young. couldn’t have been much younger or older than you. with raven dark hair that was long enough to form somewhat of a mullet. his bangs covered most of his blank expression, though it didn’t take much squinting to realize his irises were black. an evil black.
your memory was too foggy to remember if he was wearing the same clothes as before. but the white dress shirt, and black slacks didn’t seem familiar; especially the black butcher’s apron. 
he stopped at the base of the stairs upon seeing your boyfriend’s attempts to get close to you. 
“we can give you whatever you want. we have money. take our cards, whatever. just let us go please!”
he ignored your boyfriend’s pleas, choosing not to even look at him. instead, his eyes bore deep in your own.
fear grew in the pit of your stomach. there were only a few things a guy like him would want from you and the thought of him taking not only your life, but your body shook you down to your bones. 
your boyfriend must’ve assumed the same based on his whirling eyes between you and your attacker. 
you wished to give him a name, something to represent his depravity. but all thoughts were paused once he began walking slowly in the direction of the workbench. 
there was a toolbox and a rolled up utility belt waiting for him, it was just a matter of choice.
he rustled through the box, creating enough noise to elicit terror for the both of you.
it didn’t take long for him to choose one, the light in the corner bouncing off of the stainless steel bowie knife that he pulled from it.
he inspected the blade and it’s sharpness in silence, ignoring the sobbing coming from your disheveled body.
“kill me and just let her go!” 
your boyfriend’s cries didn’t go unnoticed, as the mephisto of a man paused his inspection, eyebrows raising as if he would accept that offer.
seeing his side profile from his position at the workbench sparked faint recollection within you.
why did he look familiar?  
Four Months Ago
jeno still wasn’t good enough at adapting to his new life of carnage. 
how did he not know that a decomposing body would attract maggots, no matter how “clean” he kept his basement bathroom. 
the life he claimed was an “accident.” 
atleast that’s what he told himself.
but could a life taken after rejection still be considered an accident? maybe.
the girl took too long. 
he cooked for her, provided clothes for her, gave her a place to sleep. yet she was never accepting of his affection. 
it was just four days ago that he had to rush to the emergency room on his own volition, to have a laceration on his collarbone stitched. the bitch barely missed his subclavian. 
he was beginning to be more lenient after holding her captive at his house for 2 weeks. though he wasn’t sure if there was a beginner’s guide on “how long it should take to actually let a hostage begin to roam your house.” but he learned his lesson after dinner, when she ran towards the kitchen sink and grabbed the sashimi knife.
every attending nurse asked what happened, but he continued to blame it on a “freak accident”: trying to transport a porcelain attachment on his shoulders, tripping and ultimately earning a gash. 
somehow they bought it.
ten stitches later, he was discharged. seething at the teeth, he sped back to his house to finish her. he couldn’t have another slip up like that again.
that night he brought the blade into her neck, earning her a matching cut. 
it was the first and last time she was ever brave. 
now here jeno was, at a utility store in search of his first shovel. he wasn’t picky, he just needed something sturdy enough to help dig his first grave.
off into the distance, he saw you. innocently scanning the shelves for new vanity light bulbs. 
you were absolutely perfect.  
he felt a sudden magnetic pull to be near you, even smell you. but he had to resist the urge; there was a decomp job waiting for him at home. 
it probably wasn’t a good idea to approach you either, as there was a possibility the smell of putrefaction was beginning to attach to his clothes. 
from that day on, jeno had been watching you for months. 
every outfit you wore, every doe-eyed expression, every bite of your lip was all for him. 
even though the two of you were never formally introduced, he knew the proper time would come. 
so far he had done well becoming acquainted from afar: he knew where you worked, your grocery store of choice, your primary care doctor, even your favorite drink at the local café.  
there was still so much left to uncover. now, he set the goal of finding out your birthday, just to send a batch of flowers to your job when the time came; labeled anonymous of course. 
but the dreams of becoming your admirer were crushed the day that jeno found out you had a significant other. he almost chucked the vase he was holding. he didn’t need a vase, he was merely there because you and your boyfriend were at a furniture store, eyeing a new couch for your living room. it was just a method for him to blend in. 
he kept his composure so as not to draw attention nor have to pay the store for damages. 
the boy you called “babe” was average, nowhere near your level. but you clutched onto him like he was the only thing that mattered. 
what did he have, that jeno didn’t? 
the obvious answer was you.
jeno sat the vase down before storming out of the store, causing the bell atop of the door to slam and chime throughout the showroom. you actually turned to the direction of the entrance, somewhat alarmed at how loud it rang through the store. 
fortunately, you were too late to see him. 
that night, jeno began plotting his second abduction. it would be a challenge, no doubt. 
he would ultimately regret if you got hurt in the process, but with enough love, he could prove that he was sorry.  
and now that his “ex” was taken care of, he could finally focus. 
there was a small checklist he made within a couple of days: buy a van, have the backseats removed and fitted with steel.
luckily money wasn’t an issue. but he did get a few weird glances from the auto modifications shop at his request.
“you don’t seem like the type to want a van decked out like this?” the automotive stylist said while looking over jeno’s new 12-seater. 
he was sly enough to come up with a lie, plus the amount of money he was willing to drop was all that was needed to seal the deal. 
jeno considered himself well-equipped from first girlfriend, it was just a matter of time and preparation before you were his second...
Present
you couldn’t hold back your screams, not when the love of your life was on his knees, being held at knife point. 
“please! stop! you don’t have to d-do this!” 
you thrashed on the floor, tears painting your cheeks, mucus staining your upper lip.
jeno had dragged your boyfriend back to his original position with his knife in hand, eventually standing behind him. 
he took a handful of your lover’s hair to cock his head back, exposing an array of veins lining his neck. 
“i love you so much…” was the last you would ever hear, causing jeno to furrow his brow and snarl in disgust.
the life you once knew was taken in a slash, jeno’s right hand swiping the serrated blade along your boyfriend’s stained skin. 
your ears rang from the sound of metal against flesh, all of the tendons snapping at once. velvet poured from the now-open cavity, splattering onto the tarp and jeno’s bare hands. 
your guts felt twisted, hearing the gurgling sounds of blood clogging his airway. seeing his eyes roll back into his sockets. so lifeless. 
jeno let the body fall on its own. 
he was inexplicably satisfied. the pig you called “babe” was now out of the picture, merely a slab of dead meat.  
you curled into a ball, letting your head fall to the floor, entire soul succumbing to emptiness.
you simply didn’t care if you were next. 
jeno stepped over the corpse and towards you, knife still in hand. with a swipe of his nose, he kneeled down in front of your shaken form, the least bit bothered by the blood smeared on his septum. 
you didn’t even flinch when he tossed the knife down, barely missing your chest when it came to a stop on the floor. 
“when i come back, we’ll be formally introduced.” 
with a click of his tongue he rose up, leaving as if he didn’t just rip out your heart. 
it didn’t take long for your boyfriend’s blood to run across the basement floor, the rest clotting near his open throat.
you let the warmth of the dark fluid envelop you. soaking deeper and deeper into your clothes.
—-
“shhh. shouldn’t we be quiet?” 
you heard the whispered voice of a woman, giggling in between her words.
your eyes fluttered open, taking a while to adjust from the tears that crystallized over your eyelashes. 
how many hours, or days has it been? 
based on the way your clothes were now brittle from the dried blood, and the sea of black covering the floor, it had been a while.
unfortunately, your subconscious wasn’t able to repress the memories of your dead boyfriend, not when his cold, stiff body was still on the floor.
his skin had blotched purple, showing signs of livor mortis, his irises a milky white. 
“no its fine. come here.” 
you heard the familiar voice of your abductor, as he ushered the woman down the basement stairs. 
excitement littered both of their faces, the girl hopping from the last step and into his arms. 
you didn’t care to recall her appearance, the only thing worth mentioning was her frilly dress and kitten heels. 
did she not even react to the scene in front of her? a corpse, and your starving body, still tied up, on a soiled basement floor?
she continued to giggle, keeping her hands on his chest.
“this is amazing…you’re so fucking hot.” her ear-grating words were swallowed by the heavy kiss they shared, attacking each other’s mouths. if it wasn’t for the mess, you were sure that he would’ve slammed her against the tarp covered wall. 
his hands explored her body, lifting up the ruffled fabric to expose her ass, squeezing ever so often to hear her whine in pleasure.
you tried your hardest to block out the sounds of their smothered lips. even slamming your eyes shut to fulfill the disbelief that flooded your brain. 
“you know i did this for you right?” he spoke in between their labored breaths, pulling away for air. 
“of course i did…now can i show you how grateful i am?”
he nodded, palming himself through his black pants.
the girl guided him towards his workbench, pushing his back into the chilled metal table, seeming dominant in her quest to show thanks.
her hands trailed down to his belt buckle, freeing the clasp. you could hear his zipper being undone, and the sigh of relief once she started touching him in the right places. 
you didn’t have the strength to demand them to stop, nor the freedom to end your own life. either decision would only fuel her to go slower.
the she-devil got down on her knees, pulling down his pants, giddy at the sight of him with no underwear. his dick sprang free from its confines, snapping back onto his chiseled groin. the girl squealed in satisfaction, to see that he was just as big as her face.
a growl erupted from his throat as she took him in her small hands and licked along the underside of his cock. 
she welcomed him in her drooling mouth, keeping her eyes glued to his look of satisfaction. he wasted no time fucking her face, eyes darting between you and the corpse he created.
you winced at every gag you heard, every tug of his lips between his teeth. 
she was struggling to fit what she could, even tapping his thighs, signaling to stop. but he wasn’t concerned for her effort. 
he was busy swimming in pure ectasy, getting off to the chaos he created. 
through it all, you finally managed to mutter the words,
“please kill me…”
Day 2 
the snapping sounds were becoming too hard to ignore. you couldn’t drown them out any longer.
your eyes focused on him again, attempting to stuff the rigid corpse into a large black suitcase. 
he panted as he tried to bend the unforgiving joints, fighting against the effects of rigor mortis. 
his frustration was growing with every trial and error. and the smell of rotting flesh wasn’t helping either. 
you were too catatonic to react…it was just another day in his world. 
he eventually succeeded, feeling pleased to have the remains covered before it continued its cycle of decay. 
in the corner of his eye, he saw you wiggling in your restraints, trying to make your limbs come alive again.
“who was that girl?” 
your voice was crackly, barely audible from dehydration. 
“what?” he said with obvious confusion, pausing to look over at your crippled frame. 
“the girl you were with?” you gulped afterwards, trying your hardest to lubricate your vocal chords with what saliva you had left.
“must’ve been a nightmare…” he spoke under his breath, shameless in his look of concern.  
somehow you believed him. 
and the mere thought of dreaming something so wicked disgusted you. 
you watched as he finished zipping up the suitcase, taking off his vinyl gloves and tossing them on top.
he then made his way over to you, kneeling down to untie the complex knots on your wrists and ankles.
you chose not to look at him, fearing he would change his mind and leave you there to molder in sorrow. 
“i’ve hidden my name for long enough…jeno.”
his eyes managed a subtle smile through his introduction; the naturally occurring feature strangely matching his exterior. if he wasn’t a murderer. 
once the ropes fell loose, you could barely resort back to mobility. it felt unnatural to finally be able to stretch after so long.
but now that you were somewhat free, you finally realized how filthy you were.
“i’ve got some cleaning up to do…there’s a bathroom for you to use over there. freshen up and then i can take you upstairs to the kitchen.” he pointed with his head over to the ivory bathroom, which seemed to be the only clean spot in the basement.
he had the decency to help you to your feet, watching as you struggled to gain equilibrium. you looked away into the direction of the bathroom, indicating you could help yourself now. 
you didn’t bother glancing over to the workbench, figuring he was smart enough to put away his tools and weapons. you didn’t have the energy to defend yourself anyways. 
the bathroom wasn’t far enough away to miss the smell of a festered corpse but you hoped by the time you showered, it would all be a bit better.
to your surprise, the bathroom was fully stocked: unopened toiletries, feminine products, shampoo, body wash, lotions, towels, everything you needed to feel alive again.
laying in the sink was an oversized t-shirt, sweatpants and socks, all in a vacuum sealed bag, which you assumed to be jeno’s. or maybe they belonged to a former victim. it didn’t matter as long as they were clean. anything was better than the battered clothes you had on now. 
you closed the door and began to undress, keeping your body towards the door incase jeno barged in to take advantage of your naked form. though you doubted anyone would want to see the current state you were in. 
raising your legs to get inside the fiberglass shower proved to be a challenge, even bending down to adjust the temperature of the water made your knees buckle. 
but you eventually managed to rid yourself of the dried blood and sweat; water droplets masking your tears as you watched the black clumps flow down into the drain. 
jeno was waiting for you outside the door, leaning against the wall that was now free of plastic sheets. 
everything was spotless, or at least that’s what you could discern through your hooded eyes. the floor was free of biomass, all of the tarp was discarded, and the suitcase was nowhere to be found. most of all, the horrid odor was gone. 
jeno eyed you up and down, satisfied with the floral smell coming from the lotion he bought you. he was always a fan of rose, and he hoped you were too. 
he reached out his left hand for you to take, but you rejected the gesture, instead hugging your sides and looking down at your feet. 
you could get up the stairs just fine. 
or so you thought.
just as your feet made contact with the first step, you tugged on jeno’s shirt for support as he led the way. 
you managed to miss the faint smile that painted his face, as you were too busy trying not to lose balance. 
once you made it upstairs, you took in the interior. natural white oak floors, a spacious living room fitted with potted plants, a curtained patio sliding door, a small tv, with a gaming console placed just underneath in the stand, a glass coffee table, and a single white boucle couch that was surprisingly free of any suspicious stains. 
the same could be said for the kitchen, shiny quartz countertops, and all steel appliances. you began to doubt if he afforded all of this on his own, but then you thought back to his extensive basement. maybe his career supported  all of his dangerous endeavors. 
your stomach instantely growled upon sitting at the kitchen bar. so loud that jeno managed to hear it as he began rummaging through the drawers for cooking utensils.
“i guess i should tell you the reason that you’re here.” jeno huffed as he began chopping up the raw food onto a cutting board. your heart dropped at his words; you weren’t sure if you could handle learning the reason right now.
“i’ve been watching you for quite a while now…i just knew from the very first time, that i had to prove my worth. prove that i could be everything you needed.”
you knew you weren’t mentally ready to play along with his insanity, nor try to earn his trust so soon. with his level of denial, your strategy needed time. 
all you could do was be a listener and soak in his confession. 
“i know i’ve done irreversible damage to you, so i don’t expect forgiveness. but at least let me give you the support you deserve to heal.”
you chose not to reply, it was best that way. 
maybe through the silence, he would come to his senses. 
as he continued to cook, you tried to look closely for any hints of him lacing the food. you weren’t afraid to deny sustenance in exchange for starvation.
but when you realized he was making a plate for himself, you felt less suspicious.
jeno arranged the food to look delectable, and placed everything neatly on trays, paired with a glass of water. he stood across the kitchen bar, eagerly awaiting your review before he took his first bite. 
you picked at the rice with your fork, and tried your best not to tremble when you brought it up to your mouth and swallowed a few grains. he frowned when he noticed you trying to hold back tears.
what was so sad about a plate of food? 
“i didn’t do anything to it.” he said sympathetically, but you let the tears fall anyway.
having a meal with the man that kidnapped you wasn’t anything to be delighted about. nonetheless, you grabbed more and more, slowly beginning to feel replenished.
jeno ate with you in silence, every once in a while watching the tears fall onto your plate.
you were sure that the lack of food for two days straight was the reason for the onset of nausea that creeped inside your body. the food didn’t taste bad, far from it. but the more you ate, the more you felt like you couldn’t keep it down. 
a couple of spoonfuls remained, and once you set down your fork, you eyed the couch behind you in the living room.
laying on a soft surface for once, sounded the most appealing.
“can you help me to the couch?”
you knew he wouldn’t turn down your request. anything you could do to earn his trust, the better. 
jeno was quick to assist, first, gathering the plates and placing them in the sink.
“i’ll put the leftovers in the fridge, just let me know when you want some more.” he said as he walked briskly to your position on the bar stool. 
you didn’t dare move.
his soft hands grabbed both of your own, clasping somewhat too hard to get you to your feet. you faced him eye to eye, waiting for him to guide you. 
but there was no motion from either of you; his chest mere centimeters from your own. his irises were such an uncomfortable black, soulless.
you couldn’t look away. 
sweat formed in your hands, which you were sure that he could feel. yet, he didn’t let go. a sniffle from your runny nose seemed to have snapped him out of his reverie. 
with no further time to waste, he helped you towards the living room, keeping hold of your clammy hands as you sunk down into the soft material. you winced as you swung your legs around to lay flat but immediately exhaled in relief at the plush cushions hugging your entire backside. 
jeno brought your glass of water to the coffee table, and scooted the tv remote closer.
just the mere sight of the remote made you wonder if turning on the news right now would show hundreds of stories on you and your boyfriend's disappearance. or any leads on the suspect. 
your family, your goals, your passions, all ripped away by someone that “cared” about you. 
why couldn’t you bring yourself to scream at the top of your lungs to fill the void?
the desperate need for rest overpowered everything else. this was the most comfortable you had ever felt in a while.
you closed your eyes, drifting off into a  deep sleep to the sound of running water from the kitchen sink. 
you missed the answer to your question just half an hour later. it was motivation. 
had you heard the sound of heavy knocks echoing off of the front door. you would’ve made your presence known, whether or not it was the police. 
a youthful male voice yelled on the other side.
“jenooo! open up buddy!” 
then a different voice spoke, 
“dude! we know you’re in there!” 
jeno froze from drying the dishes, only his eyes looking in the direction of the door. 
it was mark and jaemin.
he thought he made it very clear, for them to never show up to his house unannounced. 
ever since he began seeking you out, he made sure to send a text to them stating that “he’d been going through a rough time, that it was best to have as much privacy as possible. and to always shoot a text or a call before coming over.”
guess they didn’t want to respect his wish. 
he carefully sat down the ceramic bowl on the counter and bolted towards your sleeping body.
he didn’t even need to spike your drink, it was obvious you were going to pass out from sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion. 
jeno knitted his brow in disappointment. you looked so perfect like this, ready and willing to take what he could give. and now his friends had to ruin it. 
sadly, he didn’t have time to be gentle.
your eyes immediately shot open at the feeling of him gripping your waist with one hand, and covering your mouth with the other. 
“don’t fucking say a word.” 
he snarled in your ear, spit accidentally hitting your lobe from how hard he spoke. he wrapped his veiny arm around your hips, forcing you away from the couch. 
you had more energy than he thought, preventing him from getting a good enough grip to hoist you over his shoulders. you kicked at the coffee table, managing to knock over the glass of water onto the hardwood floor. he saw you turn your head towards the direction of the door from the sound of a few more knocks, those probably being the first you heard ever since they arrived.
he suffered through the discomfort of you gnawing at his fingers as he dragged you back towards the basement. 
your measly struggle only allowed a single muffled scream to bounce against the crevices of his hands. 
as he kicked the door open to the basement, he switched positions, this time dragging you down by a simple chokehold, causing your body to slump from the lack of circulation.
your heels knocked against each step, no longer having the adrenaline to fight back. he hurriedly grabbed the duct tape on the workbench, knowing he wouldn’t have enough time to do a thorough restraint.
it pained him to toss you onto the hard floor, just when you were beginning to find solace in his home. but he continued to tape your mouth, and your wrists, ripping the strips with his teeth. 
he added plenty to your mouth, knowing you were smart enough to try and lick the adhesive. 
you were disoriented enough from your elbows and knees striking the concrete, that he was able to sprint back upstairs, locking you inside. 
there wasn’t as much of a mess when he returned, just a glass of water shattered into pieces on the floor. he ignored it for now, already coming up with an excuse for the slight disarray.
he wiped his hands free of your saliva before opening the door. 
of course the two were excited to see him. 
“took you long enough!” jaemin exclaimed before reaching in for a hug. jeno didn’t return the embrace, choosing to remain cold and statuesque.
the two friends could sense the tension, coming to their defense immediately. 
“now before you get pissed, we sent you hella text messages and you never responded.” jaemin stepped back, raising up the palms of his hands. 
“yeah and we were beginning to worry. is it okay if we come in and talk? just thought it would be nice to check on you.” mark followed suit with his concern, hoping jeno would permit them entry.
secretly, jeno was squeezing his side of the door handle to death, and internally, his blood was boiling.
he had an entire human being probably thrashing around in his basement, and two unmarked graves of his ex and your ex in his backyard.  
now wasn’t the time.
but they were already here, and telling them to leave wouldn’t be easy. 
“fine. but you can’t stay long. i have to go grocery shopping here soon.”
a complete lie. 
jeno stood aside to let them enter, remembering to bring up the broken glass on the living room floor as they took off their shoes. 
“be careful, i dropped a glass of water earlier. let me sweep it up first.” jeno made sure they stopped in their tracks before walking over to his coat closet to grab the broom and dustpan.
he swept up the crystal shards in seconds, mentally praying that they would want to do something other than just talk in silence, 
something to drown out the potential noises you would make from downstairs.
unbeknowest to you, jeno was trying his hardest to appear unbothered as the three took turns playing Street Fighter. 
he kept losing, which seemed unlike him. and not once yelling at the screen was unlike him too. mark and jaemin noticed his lack of excitement, but couldn’t brush it off any longer.
“you sure you’re okay?” mark looked over at jeno once the match ended. 
“yeah i’m fine.”
“we can stop playing if you want. i get you’re not always in the mood.”
“no it’s fine. i need the distraction…”
jeno looked down at his controller, finding that to be the better option than locking eyes with either of them.
“is work kicking your ass? maybe you need a vacation…have some time away from all the bullshit.” 
jaemin did have a point, but you were more important. vacation could wait. 
had you finally been rescued? had the police finally traced him?
the lack of commotion from the rest of the house left you feeling hopeless. maybe the detectives were doing a welfare check, which wouldn’t account for much noise. jeno didn’t seem like the type to attack law enforcement nor turn himself in. 
he’d only had you all to himself for a day now, you doubted he would give himself up so soon. 
you managed to stand to your feet, thankful for the rush that prevented him from taping your ankles together.
you tried searching his workbench for any signs of a sharp object that could cut your wrists free. of course he locked everything away, and there didn’t seem to be a secret compartment. 
you then ran up the stairs and placed your ear against the door.
all you could hear were two faint voices other than jeno’s. but they weren’t loud enough to discern their position in the world. either way, you had to make your presence known. 
the length from the door to the stairs was non-existent, which meant you couldn’t get a head start to ram your shoulders into the steel material.
the least you could do was kick and shove it, just enough to indicate a disturbance.
you did all the above; sure to make his visitors look in the direction of the basement.
you were beginning to get overzealous in your attempts. you just knew you were going to be saved now. 
just as you stepped back to increase what momentum you had, you felt gravity pull you down towards the trenches.
without any assistance from your hands to break your fall, your entire body tumbled down the staircase. 
the uneasy sound of a pop rang under your skin, traveling all the way from your ankle. 
as soon as your twisted body settled at the bottom of the staircase, you instantly knew.  
he was definitely going to dispose of you now.
jeno thought he could never truly be mad at you. but when you decided to cause a scene downstairs, he knew a punishment was in order. 
luckily, mark received a call from his girlfriend saying she needed help installing a new router in her apartment, and since jaemin rode together with him, they had to leave. 
your pandemonium just began as the two put on their shoes and said their goodbyes, making sure to stress to him that if he ever needed to “rant or vent”, to give them a call.
his demeanor was like a switch as soon as he shut the door, his eyes darting over to the now silent basement, jaw clenched so hard that he could’ve tore a muscle.  
maybe you realized your fate, he thought as he power walked over to the door. 
the scene in front of him was far from what he could have ever guessed: you were sprawled on your back, laying in a pool of your own tears. as soon as he caught sight of your injury, he put two and two together. 
you fell and sprained your ankle.
a faint sigh left his lips, and he rubbed his eyes as if to erase the mess you were now in. 
your sobs grew louder as jeno made his way down the steps, hoping he would gain a conscious by the time he made it down.  
to your surprise, jeno didn’t pull out a knife, neither did he wrap his hands around your neck and give it a fateful squeeze. 
he bent down, carefully gathering your crippled legs together. with one brief exhale, he brought one arm around the back of your neck and the other under your bundled knees. he rose up effortlessly, without any need to readjust his footing. 
you winced into his chest at the feeling of your ligaments pulling apart even further from hanging in the air. 
but the pain seemed to have subsided for a split second as you looked up at the man carrying you bridal style up the stairs.
blemishless skin, pink lips, long eyelashes—
you interrupted your outlandish thoughts, choosing not to label him as outwardly flawless. you could burn in hell if you ever admitted so.
your foot had completely mutated, like you had swapped body parts with an alien. 
somehow you were alive, and that’s all that mattered.
jeno took the time to carry you to his bedroom and place you on his king- sized bed. you didn’t even need to ask for help as he swung your legs onto the semi-firm mattress. 
his entire room sported a similar Scandinavian design like the rest of his house, with more plants hanging from his bedroom window. 
“my foot looks disgusting…” you thought you whispered low enough under your breath, but jeno managed a chuckle as he started gathering extra pillows from his closet to elevate your swollen ankle. 
it sounded foreign, but oddly comforting.
“well, you managed a pretty decent tear. just be grateful it wasn’t your achilles, or i would’ve had to take you to the doctor…” 
“how long do you think?”  
“mmhm, three to four weeks. as long as you don’t put unnecessary pressure, it should be pretty painless. i have some ice packs in the freezer but i need to go digging for some pain pills. do you need anything else before i go get them?”
“a glass of water and blankets please.”
“of course.” he nodded at each request, making a mental checklist and walking off in the direction of the coat closet to gather the blankets. 
you scooted back in the bed, letting the headboard support you while you sat in an upright position. 
it didn’t take long for him to come back with a handful of all the things you needed.
a glass of water and ibuprofen lay on the adjacent nightstand, two pillows were placed underneath your ankles, three assorted blankets were folded neatly at the foot of the bed, two ice packs were wrapped in microfiber towels, and the fully stocked bathroom was just a few steps down the hallway to the right. 
you already had a brief discussion with him on needing assistance to go to the bathroom, though it left you feeling rather uncomfortable. then you thought back to him buying feminine products—maybe it was less awkward than you thought.
as the evening progressed, jeno remained by your side, scrolling through his phone on the other half of the bed. he didn’t speak much, only checking every once in a while to see if you needed to pee, too much in fact. 
he quickly realized your slight annoyance from his fifth time asking, deciding to keep quiet for the rest of the night. 
you finally managed to rest with your eyes closed once the ibuprofen took away some of the discomfort, and within minutes, you drifted off. 
3 Weeks Later
your recovery was painless just like jeno predicted. within a week, the swelling and bruising went down.
in the second week, you were able to walk to the kitchen to heat up your own food in the microwave.
considering jeno worked from home and couldn’t leave his office space that often, you tried your best to be self-sufficient. 
through it all, he continued to cook and clean, creating somewhat of a new domestic lifestyle that you never thought was possible. 
once he finished work at 6pm, he would come out of his office and into his bedroom where you spent your time reading. he would always refill your glass of water and lift the ice pack to take a peek at your ankle. 
you never admitted to him that you missed interpersonal relationships or profound conversation, but there was something deep within you that thought maybe he could see it in your face everytime he brought you a snack from the pantry without saying a word.  
in all honesty, you were afraid to bring up anything from his past. it wasn’t like the two of you were together and you had no idea he was a murderer. 
he showed his true colors from the very beginning.
every night he slept on the far half of the bed, always starting off on his back, with one hand behind his head. once he hit deep sleep, he shuffled quite a bit until he found comfort being on his side, sometimes facing you, sometimes not.
you never awoke to snoring or his body making contact with yours. most nights you would wake from a nightmare, though you did a decent job at hiding it. some nights you couldn’t handle the agony that plagued your mind, laying there crying for hours. 
just when you thought jeno couldn’t hear your sublte cries, he did. but what could he do to make it better? 
in the final week, jeno did some makeshift physical therapy with you, testing your range of motion while you sat on the edge of the bed.
he seemed to be in deep concentration, even making sure the room was silent so he could listen for any popping sounds that would’ve indicated more recovery time. 
“i don’t know if it’s just me, but i don’t look as stiff anymore.” you said as you watched jeno gently rotate your ankle clockwise, then counterclockwise. 
“you certaintly don’t feel stiff. i think we’ve done everything right so far.” jeno smiled, quite impressed with how well his methods turned out for you. he let your foot come back softly against the bed before standing up. 
your breath hitched when he positioned himself in between your legs, staring down into your glossy eyes.
jeno pondered on the thought of bringing up your sleepless nights. but he didn’t know of a correct way, or if there was one at all. the only thing he could do was make sure you had access to one pain pill at a time, for if the day came that you left him, he would leave the earth too. 
you had “been with him” for almost a month now, and you managed to last longer than he thought. 
he admired you for that. 
“will i ever know who you are?” 
your voice gave out, dwindling into thin air. jeno watched as you dropped your head to conceal what dignity you had left.
he used a single finger to prop you back up, ultimately deciding if an embrace would make it better. 
there’s no way it could. 
Day 32 
this was the worst nightmare you’ve had yet.
the scene was too vivid, too real to let go of.
reliving the day your boyfriend died ate away at your soul and spit out what sanity you had left.
each time he died, the more he spoke to you, as if he wasn’t dead.
“you see that i’m quite dead. how awful.”
though his neck had just been slit, he laid there…staring at you…speaking so monotone, so robotic. 
“why do you make me experience this over and over again? wake up. wake up. wake up.” he repeated to you. 
your blood-curdling screams filled the bedroom; yet another sleepless night for not only you, but jeno too. 
it was only recently that you began thrashing around the bed and filling the silent room with your grief-stricken cries. 
there was no trying to hide it now…the pain became too much. 
jeno immediately rose out of bed, enveloping your shaken body in a full embrace, the first time that he’d ever done so.
you continued to wail as if he wasn’t there. 
“where is he-i need to see him! where did you put him?!” 
you continued to repeat your demands, rocking back and forth in his arms.
jeno knew what you meant, but he was sure you truly didn’t need to know. if you were this broken down from the nightmares, there was no way learning the truth could make it all better.
jeno knitted his brow as you continued to shuffle within his broad frame. 
he would never admit this to you, but these past few weeks have been miserable. 
he was beginning to lose hope. 
spraining your ankle was probably the best thing that could’ve happened; as bizarre as that sounded.
the two of you spent so much time together, and even though jeno could tell you wanted to know more about him, there just wasn’t a right time. not yet.
his past and how he came to be was best left unsaid. not until you seemed “better”, as the heavy load of his own trauma would’ve only made it worse for you. 
and now here you were, still not “better.” 
within the time that you began to gain control of your breathing, jeno contemplated his decision. 
he let go of your body, rubbing his eyes to adjust better to the dark room. 
you watched closely as he made his way around to you and held out his hand.
for the first time, you took it. 
it was if you were still dreaming, but no longer fighting your night terror. 
he guided you towards the living room patio door, walking slowly enough in regards to your recently healed ankle.
you seemed to have forgotten that the backyard existed, as you were so used to being in your own purgatory. nonetheless, you were eager to see the outdoors again, yet still unsure why he was taking you there. 
jeno used his non-occupied hand to push the curtains away before unlocking the sliding door, still keeping his other hand interlocked with yours. 
a slight breeze hit your face as the two of you stepped onto the patio. 
even in the early morning, the moon still illuminated bright against the deciduous trees swaying in the wind. petrichor emanated from the dampened grass, soothing away your stresses immediately.  
being outside for even just a second made up for all the lost time you spent in captivity.
maybe this is why jeno brought you here, to finally let you experience the beauty of the outdoors again; to take your mind off the troubles of your nightmares.
you remained behind him, peaking over his shoulder to admire the forgotten land you once accustomed yourself to.
still no words were spoken as he lead the way into the yard. you continued to hold his hand, finding comfort in the creases of his palms. 
he came to a stop in the middle, and appeared to have been looking down at something. you furrowed your brow as he let go of your hand, already missing the contact that kept you down to earth.
once you stepped aside to be shoulder to shoulder, you immediately realized what this was.
your wish had been granted. 
in front of you were two raised patches of dirt, one seemed to have settled more than the other. it appeared that grass had been planted, in an attempt to speed up the rate of growth on the disturbed level of soil. 
your world shattered—crashing into the depths of pure misery and sorrow.
you fell to your knees, the softened mud painting your pajama pants deep brown.
all the tears you could’ve cried remained back inside the house. this time, your chest felt tight, constricting any sign of emotion.
jeno remained blank, gearing up for the words that would change your life forever.
he bent down to your level, knees settling into the mud, eyes glossed over.
he waited for you to look up from the two graves, almost considering if he should do this.
you met his eyes, just as dark as the sky.
“this will probably be the last time you ever see him.” 
to you, his voice barely sounded human, morphed into the monster he truly was.
you felt a surge of fight or flight—a passion to fight for your survival. 
it all became a blur as you lunged forward, grabbing both sides of his chiseled face and connecting your lips to his. 
you couldn’t bear to keep your eyes open as you kissed him. for you knew that this way of self-preservation would haunt you if you made it out alive. 
giving him what he wanted all this time, seemed to be the only logical way.
jeno welcomed your lips without falter, as if this was the answer. 
his lips were soft, mending against your own like silk. 
your hands remained attached to his jawline, as he trailed down to grip your waist.
he squeezed you just right, not too hard like he’d done in the past. 
you wanted him to take control, to show that he could do whatever he wanted. the whimpers that escaped your lips, told him so. 
the kiss never broke, as you both rose and stood under the pale moonlight. his hands traced down further, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. he cupped the underside of your thighs within a single catch of your breath, to which you exhaled and whined, so gingerly. 
he took your subtle detachment as an opportunity to connect your tongues, the feeling of warmth completely searing your insides. 
you were too dazed to match the way his tongue explored your mouth, but the messiness ignited infatuation for how unique he tasted. 
still, it could never be too much, not even the way your conjoined saliva dripped onto your tear-stained shirt. 
there was no limit for how willing you were to submit.  
he swallowed the whimpers that fell from your mouth, trying his hardest not to tug on your lips too harshly. 
his hands pressed upwards on the back of your thighs, signaling that he craved more.
he clutched onto your ass as you jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist.
you could feel the growth in his sweatpants increase the moment your breasts made contact with his clothed chest, nipples almost meeting together in the same distance across.
you were both harmonious in your attempts to get back inside the house; just the simple action of raking your fingers through his raven locks, encouraged him to move quickly. 
he managed to walk through the yard with ease, taking only a brief moment to peek behind you to ensure he didn’t trip over the entrance from the patio. 
during his journey to the bedroom, you buried your face into his neck, peckering on the veins that branched out into beautiful streams of blue.
your tongue found his racing pulse just as he kneed the door open to the room.
he laid you down on the edge of the bed, choosing to return the favor and kiss along your neck. 
your hands couldn’t decide on a spot to grab, so you kept them tangled in his hair.  
you had to be as convincing as possible that you craved this too, but it didn’t seem that hard to do when he caressed you in all the right places.   
“i’ve waited so long for this, for you…”
his voice had gone even deeper, vibrating against your collarbone as he kissed there. 
he continued further, meeting your chest that so desperately needed to be exposed. his teeth tugged on your hardened nipples through your cotton shirt, earning yet another whimper that bounced off the painted walls of the bedroom. 
he was dependent on your noises of pleasure, desperate to hear every sound that told him he was doing well.
just as you blinked, he lifted your shirt, with not enough patience to take it the rest of the way off. his mouth latched onto your sensitive nipple, soothing the sting with his tongue every time he nipped it between his teeth. 
he gave the same amount of attention to the other, swirling his wet muscle along every inch of your breasts. deep down, you wanted him to inch further towards where he deserved to be.
but you felt so sinful for thinking so. 
he continued his descent, kissing along the flesh of your tummy and down to your pelvis. his eyes remained closed while doing so, as if he was already familiar with every feature of your lower body. you hadn’t even realized that he tugged your pajama pants off, discarding them somewhere on the floor.
you couldn’t bring yourself to focus on him, though you knew he had a look of pure bliss; excited to finally take what was his.
you jumped at the feeling of his nose resting on your clit, even rubbing it back and forth, painfully slow. he inhaled deeply, taking in your scent that was bound to get stronger once he took off your panties.
your entire body jolted from his tongue tapping your sensitive nub, causing all of your blood to rush to that spot. he poked at a faster pace, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy the ache in your core, nor nullify the guilt you felt from actually enjoying it.  
he was teasing, obviously wanting to savor every moment that had no guarantee of happening again. 
“all mine…” he purposefully whispered close to your clothed heat, the spurts of air hitting your dampened panties with every unhinged word he spoke. 
you wiggled your bottom half, coaxing him into giving the attention you so desperately needed.
he was receptive to your attempts, immediately hooking his hands under the seam of your panties and pulling them off in one fell swoop. you kept your arms close to your upper body as a way to console yourself for how far you let this go. 
he pried your legs open wide, pushing them back so they were bent at the knee. his hands rested on top, pausing to inhale your scent once more. 
you kept the view below hidden with your arms, as the sight would be too much to take in. the mere feeling of him licking a single strip with his flattened tongue, from your puckered hole all the way up to your engorged clit forced a complete sigh of relief out of your body. 
you covered your mouth with your hands as a result, conflicted on whether or not you should hold it in anymore.
judging by the pause, jeno wasn’t pleased with your concealment. 
“don’t fucking cover your mouth.”
he spoke right into your pussy, eyes trained on your next move. you obeyed him that easily, placing your arms down at your sides to grip the sheets. 
as soon as you looked down, you were met with a sight that would ultimately defy all virtue left in your sickened world. 
jeno’s eyes were locked onto you, lapping at your slick with such determination to make you cum from his mouth alone. 
his hands had moved from your legs to your thighs, making sure to keep you static through it all. 
he did everything right—sucking on your clit, dragging it lightly between his teeth, covering every inch of your folds with his spit.
each time he propelled his saliva onto your wet cunt, you couldn’t help but try to close your thighs around his head; all purity soiled by the way he defiled your pussy. 
you knew it would only get filthier from here.
he snaked his left hand down, the pads of his thumb coming to rest on your pulsating bundle of nerves. his other hand formed a union between his fore and middle finger, making a way to your entrance.
it was evident through your prolonged captivity that jeno would feel resistance as he eased his two fingers inside. he wasn’t as slow as you hoped, but if it was for the sake of prepping, you would take what warnings he gave you. 
all three of his methods worked in reducing the pressure in your pelvic floor, but you still felt as though you could never truly be ready for his cock, mentally or physically. 
“you can barely take my fingers, fuck…”
he took the chance to curve his fingers inside you, creating friction as he scraped against your spot effortlessly. 
your entire world was spinning, and it was just the beginning. 
he was steady as he fucked you with his fingers, never once loosing sight of how ruined you were. 
the squelching from your walls suffocating his digits caused his sweatpants to feel uncomfortably tight. 
he couldn’t wait to stretch you full. 
the denial you onced claimed, began to wash away as you felt your orgasm approaching. 
his pace increased, creating a rhythm that was bound to make you crash. 
“i-i cant! please!” 
jeno ignored your cries, utterly content with forcing it out of you whether or not you wanted him to stop.  
you grabbed a fistful of his hair again, resting your fingers in his scalp as your whole body convulsed. 
constellations flooded your vision, blinding you from the reality of your guilt. you couldn’t help but grind into his face, prolonging the peak of your climax. 
all but his mouth left your pussy, his hands ushering your lower body even closer.
he managed to stay latched onto your beating clit, as your body continued to spasm. he truly didn’t want to leave that spot, as he found himself completely drunk off of what you gifted him. 
the amount of your juices that painted his mouth and chin, was proof.
you barely had enough core strength to lessen the impact of your legs falling against the bed as jeno rose to his feet.
he undressed himself within seconds, tossing the items of clothing inside the open closet. 
all you could do was lay there and be a tool, trying your hardest not to react to the size of his cock. 
there truly wasn’t anywhere he could fit, not even in your mouth if he wanted you there. 
you managed to survive this far, but you were already second-guessing your chances the moment he positioned his naked body in front of you.  
there was complete truth in how perfect he was—toned muscles, smooth complexion, and veins that branched out in every direction, most notably in his arms and hands. 
he was the epitome of virility. 
you were merely just a vessel for him to use and destroy. 
“take off your shirt.” 
he stroked his length, watching you fumble with the piece of clothing bunched around your neck.
as soon as you discarded it, he lifted both of your legs up, letting his shaft plop onto your wet mound. the sound was filthy, an indication of how wet you were. 
he started to glide his length up and down your pussy, practically wet humping your slick as if you weren’t overstimulated from his oral assault only minutes prior. you involuntarily jerked at the contact of his tip rubbing your abused clit, watching as he dragged his bottom lip between his teeth at your undoing.
he finally let his grinding come to a halt; tip stopping right at your navel. 
precum leaked inside the natural divet in your skin, forming a pool from his arousal. 
“pl-please jeno…i need you.” 
you no longer cared if it hurt, all that mattered was being at his complete disposal. 
he listened to your desires, finally conjoining your bodies as one. the stretch was uncomfortable, burning even. but the satisfaction that followed, negated every ounce of hatred you used to feel. 
you attempted to breathe through the discomfort, but all you could produce was a gasp as he eased his way further. even through the pain, you could see in his face that you were his entire world. 
his mouth hung open, eyes rolling back for a second before gaining focus on your effort to accomodate his size. a line of saliva fell from his lips onto his shaft, making more of a mess than was thought possible. 
you were severely uncoordinated from the intensity of your previous orgasm, but that didn’t stop you from pulling him in for a kiss as he bottomed out. you moaned into his mouth, slurping on his tongue to taste what remained of your essence. 
he furrowed his brow when you clenched down as hard as his girth would allow, sucking him further inside your cervix.
he finally took it upon himself to move, feeling resistance as he geared up to piston inside you. his hands made their way from your thighs to your neck, gripping hard enough to make a vein visibly pulse against your temple. you placed your hands on top of his, hoping he wouldn’t take that as a sign to soften his hold on your throat. 
this was everything you wanted. the exhilaration of being on the brink of death, a stark contrast to how he’s made you feel before. tingling littered under where his palms squeezed, causing you to writhe in pleasure as he drilled into your pussy. 
no matter how hard he squeezed, you trusted that he wouldn’t end you. not when he was completely buried in your walls, growling in your ear at how well you took his cock. 
“you’re so perfect, taking my dick so well…” his words sounded muddled from the ringing present in your ears, you weren’t even sure you comprehended them correctly through the high building up inside you a second time.
you managed to let a moan escape through the restriction as he pushed both of your bodies higher on the bed, having enough skill to remain inside you the entire time. 
jeno noticed your eyelids begin to flutter, a sign that you were teetering on the edge. he relished in the sight—your body slumped against him, your vocal chords attempting to produce noise but ultimately failing.
you were officially cock drunk, inebriated by how well he fucked you dumb. 
even through the haze, you could see him enjoying every second, tugging on his lips to suppress the animalistic sounds brewing deep within his chest. 
he finally took his hands away, allowing your senses to restore from the lack of oxygen. your chest heaved profusely, causing your back to arch as if you were being exorcized.
his stamina was still just as unwavering, never once losing rhythm. just as you gained control of your breathing, he pushed your legs back towards your head, simultaneously being in awe of your flexibility. 
the sound of skin slapping hit against your eardrums with each strike, and now that there was a surge of pressure being applied to your throat from this new position, you could barely vocalize how flawless he was at hitting your spot every, single, time.
you could feel his length twitching, veins swelling, and balls slapping against your ass with every thrust. 
your stomach tightened from the pressure against your womb, forming a wave that you were bound to drown in. 
“i know you’re close…cum on my cock…fuck.” he gulped in between, trying his hardest to hide the shakiness in his voice. he was just as close as you were, ready to explode at any moment. 
all it took was for him to pause and grind into you slowly.
and with it, came a cathartic release. 
a string of moans finally escaped through your restriction, forming a melody for jeno to absorb in his frenzied brain. 
unhinged groans fell from his lips as he emptied his seed; silken fluid overflowing and mixing with your own.
you clenched around his dick even harder than before, milking him for everything he was worth.
he stilled inside you for a while, practically putting all of his body weight on you while you remained in that position.  
the back of your thighs were sure to have bruises from how long he had kept his hands there. but you wouldn’t trade those marks for the world. 
you shuddered as he exited you without warning, shifting to lay by your side. even through the silence, your thoughts were loud. 
he came inside you, and it was obvious that the aftermath of the situation plagued his mind too.
you pretended to be asleep. though jeno was a different story, which all worked in your favor. as the morning progressed, he pulled your backside into his chest, one arm resting on your waist and the other under your neck. it was a surprise to you, considering he never touched you in his sleep. 
the main complication you faced now was slipping out of his arms without waking him. 
you were still backed up against his front when you lifted your head to view the time. 
the nightstand clock read 7:32am. 
if you didn’t act soon, you would be put underground, allowing someone else to take your place and experience the same horrors as you. 
you wiggled yourself to test his stimuli, no response. so you did it again, nothing.
you carefully lifted his arm that was on your waist and began to scoot towards the side of the bed. he stirred once, but not enough to fully rouse him. 
the time read 7:37pm when you finally stood to your feet. 
you could’ve made your way to the kitchen, but cleaning up was definitely a priority. 
you treaded lightly towards the bathroom, not even bothering to bring clothes. as you stepped inside, you were met with abhorration. 
the person you saw in the mirror was barely recognizable, ravaged beyond repair. and no matter how hard you scrubbed your body, it still couldn’t wash away the bruises or the remnants of jeno that had been sitting inside you for the past two hours.  
hopefully by the time you got back to him, you would finally be purged of his undying affliction. 
the simple action of grabbing a knife from the kitchen wasn’t so simple in your regards. 
your anxiety started to rise as you entered the kitchen. there, laying on the counter, in a stainless steel holder, were your means of redemption. 
it didn’t matter what kind, just as long as it cut deep enough… 
the one you grabbed happened to be a paring knife; ideal for your method of use.
your hands were sweaty, making it difficult to grip thoroughly. but you managed with two hands, all the way back towards the bedroom. before jeno could potentially see you through the doorway, you switched your hands, positioning the knife behind your back.
he was still sleeping, peacefully.
the clock read 7:59am. any minute now. 
you walked around to where his back was facing you; his slow and steady breathing being a complete imbalance to your racing heart. 
you maintained a good grip of the knife as you slipped under the disheveled sheets, attempting to straddle him and in turn wake him up for his departure. 
at first, he grimaced, wondering why his sleep was being disturbed. but once his eyes fluttered open, he smiled, blissfully unaware of your deception. 
he turned onto his back so you could straddle him properly, his body heat greeting you like the sun.
he lifted his hands and started to caress your thighs, creating goosebumps along your tender skin. he seemed to be focused on the bruising, expression filled with pride at how hard he claimed you.
you fought with every fiber of your being to hold back tears as you lowered yourself onto his chest. 
you met his soft lips for the last time. sealing his fate with a kiss. 
you exposed the knife in your right hand before sinking it into his side, the impedance of his tough flesh trying to stop you from sinking the blade in deep. 
you kept your eyes closed through it all, but you could feel his mouth open in shock. 
your tears finally broke, and just as you felt them separate from your chin, you opened your eyes.  
and stabbed again. 
and again.
and again. 
you flinched each time, waiting for a piercing cry, but there was nothing. his mouth hung open in agony, trying to produce a scream, but there was nothing. 
his skin had turned pale, eyes dilated and whirling out of control. soon came the blood, painting your hands, the sheets, and his tepid skin. 
you buried your face into his neck, hoping to hear his pulse slowly drift away. 
instead you were met with his last words,
“you made it…”
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liliansun · 1 year
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FREE TRIAL WEDDING STYLE | L. DONGHYUCK
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synopsis: when a random, cute, guy comes up to you and practically asks for you to follow along, you do so without much thought. that is until you get home and see he’s your new neighbor who just might need your help a little more than you expected.
pairing: fake-bf/new neighbor!haechan x oc
wc: 10.6k
genre: fluff, comedy, fake dating au, slice of life (?), wedding au
warnings: warnings, kissing, all that fun jazz (lmk if I miss any)
mentions of: 127, dream and wayv members, mention of aespa members
<3: special thanks to ash and briar for literally just beta reading anything I ask them to and for just being the best friends I ever could’ve asked for, they’re the real og besties and I love you guys sm 🫶
PART TWO: FIRST ANNIVERSARY
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Looking up at the boy in front of you who seemed desperate for you to follow along, you clear your throat as you shift your eyes to his friends. “Um, I thought I told you I was coming here on break.” Awkwardly trying to come up with the right words, the boy watches as you look panicked and takes the seat in front of you. “It must’ve not gone through, babe.” He said, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours. You glared at him, making him immediately retract his hand and laugh it off as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“We’re out Haechan, text us when you’re gonna meet up.” One of the guys from what you can only assume was his friend group said as he got up and gathered his belongings. “What- wait I still wanna come.” The boy, who you just learned is Haechan, whined as he immediately stood up from his seat when his friends made way for the door. “Dude you’re here with your girl, catch up later.” The boy with blue hair gave him a knowing look which caused the boy, Haechan, to pout. “Actually, I was about to go back to work anyway because- yeah, so um it’s nice seeing you, honey?”
Haechan can see how uncomfortable you are and simply nodded as you grabbed your belongings. He walked beside you, making your way to the door before you two part ways. To his surprise, you go off in the opposite direction than him and his friends, not saying another word about the shit show you had to endure.
After the awkward encounter back at the cafe, you went back to work and tried to pretend it never happened. Rubbing your eye with the palm of your hand, you don’t get a good look at whoever joined in the elevator when it stopped midway to your designated floor. Too caught up in the oddly comforting feeling of rubbing the stress and sleepiness from your eye, you lean back with both eyes closed. “Didn’t get enough sleep?” You recognize the voice, humming as you let out a yawn.
“Why didn’t you take a nap on break?” You roll your head toward the voice, opening your eyes to see Jaehyun giving you a knowing look. “I had lunch away from the office and I’m honestly starting to regret it.” The ding of the elevator signals you to get off on your floor. Jaehyun follows behind, slipping his hands into his pockets. “What happened, did you try some weird new restaurant again because if you spend the next 30 minutes away from the desk again I’m gonna shred your computer.”
You furrow your brows, whipping around on your heels to point a finger into his chest. “It’s not my fault, okay, last time I tried that cheap fusion food truck and it gave me food poisoning.” Shuttering, you try to block out the memory of the last time you went away from the office for lunch which cost you a bill from the hospital and toiletries to keep you at bay. “Plus this wasn’t anything that happened with the food, this guy..I don’t know it was weird and I just wanna forget about it.”
“Suit yourself, but don’t be calling for me when your stomach starts to churn.” He says, walking away from you to enter the main office area. You sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you slip between the crowded area till you get to your own desk. Plopping down in your seat, your eyes immediately look at the brightly colored sticky note left by your senior editor. Snatching it from the base of your computer, you groan while crumbling it in your hand. “Someone’s sour today I see.”
“Maybe if Kim Jungwoo didn’t leave cryptic messages at my desk when I’m not there instead of telling me when I’m actually in the office then I wouldn’t want to bash his pretty face in.” Karina smiles at you, leaning against your desk as she watches you throw away the note into a bin. “Do I even want to know what that was all about?” You roll your head towards her, shaking your head before refocusing on the emails you missed. “Gotcha, speaking of pretty faces, Jae told me you met a boy at lunch.”
“How did he tell you that when we literally just got in?”
“He has a big mouth for such a quiet man.” Nodding along, you start to click through emails, sorting through which ones are important and which ones can be pushed back till you get home. “So.”
“So?” Karina smiled at you, leaning towards you as she wiggled her finger. “Don’t play dumb y/n, tell me about the boy!” Rolling your eyes, you shrug her off and go back to what you were doing before. “Uh uh, don’t do that, tell me pretty please? I mean when’s the last time you had a boy to talk about since your douchebag of an ex.” Fighting back a frown, Karina notices how stiff you get and gently rubs your arm. “I’m sorry, I know it’s still fresh.”
With a heavy sigh, you turn your chair towards her. “That’s the thing, it’s been two years and I still can’t seem to get over him or even mention him.” She continues rubbing your arm, knowing all too well how messy your breakup with your ex was. “I really can’t say much about him though, the guy I mean.” She nods, letting you know she’s listening. “He’s cute, I’ll give him that, kinda baby faced in a mature way if that makes sense and he seems almost childlike with the guys he was with but in the moment he was more desperate than anything.”
She smiles, playing with the ends of your hair. “Sounds like you like him.” You give her a twisted look, shaking your head at the thoughts you could only imagine that were starting to play out in her head. “No, uh uh no ma’am, don’t give me that look I literally just met him.” She props herself up on your desk, swinging her legs as her smile widens at your sudden defensiveness on the subject. “Karina, I promise you, he literally came up to me and pretended like we were dating! What kind of guy does that?”
Raising her eyebrows, she leans back on her palms. “Only the desperate boys who wanna slip your skirt d-“ The sound of a loud clearing of the throat caught both of your attentions. Looking at who was standing in the entryway to your small desk space, you see a very unimpressed Taeyong. “I’m not gonna ask what you two are giggling about,” he throws his hands up, wiggling his fingers with one while the other shakes around a manila envelope in the other, “But this is for you sent directly from Doyoung.” With a fake smile, you take the envelope that he ever so kindly handed over, snickering as he left off back to whatever he had found before.
“I hate to see what you did in your past life, karma is a bitch to you.” When your face deadpans, Karina throws her head back in a fit of laughter. You slap at her legs with the envelope, whining as she finds humor in your torture. “I don’t get why Doyoung always sends me the most complicated stuff, like I’m not the only person on the floor.” Putting emphasis on his name, you make a mental note to not get such a nice gift like you do each year for Christmas exchange. And if you’re wondering, yes you do get him a separate gift every year because you simply can. I mean, who wouldn’t, it’s Doyoung.
“Maybe because you’re one of the best editors on the floor.” Smiling, you lean back in your chair while tossing the envelope beside your keyboard. “You always know what to say to me.” Hopping off your desk, Karina flattens out the front of her pants before placing both hands on her hips. “Yeah yeah, work your magic and I’ll see you later.” You wave her off, facing your laptop with no intent on working on the pile of stuff in front of you.
After many excruciating hours sitting in your chair, you read the time and quickly gather your things to head home. You catch a cab to your tiny apartment, dragging yourself up the stairs in hopes you’ll actually make it to your bed before the mental exhaustion takes its toll. Reaching the top of the stairs, you see the door across from yours wide open. “I guess they found someone to fill the room.” You mutter to yourself, slinging your purse over your arm that doesn’t seem to stop sliding down.
As you’re putting your keys into your door, you hear scuffling behind you. “Oh hey neighbor.” Turning around, you meet eyes with the person you literally thought you’d never see again. “Oh, it’s you.” Haechan seemed taken aback, offended to his core when he gasped as he held his chest. “Nice to see you again, too.” If this was your final straw, your 13th reason, you’d probably let the world swallow you hole right on your doorstep and not bat an eye, but knowing Jungwoo he’d still find a way to drag you back to work in the morning.
“Sorry, I’m just too tired and honestly don’t even want to have this conversation.”
“What conversation are we not having?” You can’t tell if he’s genuinely confused and doesn’t recognize you, which only hurts a little, or if he’s just that pretty and that dumb. Maybe a combination of both to soothe your ego a little. “Y’know what- never mind, goodnight, neighbor.” You finally turn the key, unlocking your door and slipping into your lonely apartment. Dropping the bag by the door, you toss your shoes off and convince yourself a hot shower would wash this day away.
And it does, for the most part. Maybe it’s because you shampooed your hair and you feel ten times more clean or maybe it’s because hot water seems to cure every bad mood you had before you got into the shower. Now, you’re hungry and all you want is something warm and to snuggle with your cat till your dreadful alarm takes you away from your sleep. You’re in the kitchen, drying your hair with a towel when you hear a knock at your door. And another and another.
Your only guess as to who it could be was Karina, maybe she and her boyfriend got into a fight again and she wanted to blow off some steam at your place. You go to open the door, being met with a very sheepish looking Haechan who can tell your mood dropped a little at his presence. “What.”
“Okay, firstly ouch, is that any way how you treat a neighbor? I mean I just moved in tod-“
“I’m giving you five more seconds to tell me what you want or I’m shutting the dam-“
“Okay okay fine, uh, can I maybe, possibly just sorta hang out?” Maybe Karina was right, maybe this was your punishment for whatever fucked up thing you did in your past life and now you have to endlessly suffer as if you’re made of steal. Well news flash universe, you’re not, now lay off. “You’re kidding, right?” When his eyes drop down to his hands that he was anxiously rubbing together, you let out a sigh before stepping aside.
He looked up, his eyes almost bright as he looks into yours. “Come in before I change my mind.” Once he stepped inside, you expected him to sit quietly on your couch and do whatever he thought he was gonna do when he got in, but you were far from that reality. The quiet, almost shy, boy who you just so happened to meet twice in one day completely came out of his shell and is now sitting across from you on your floor while sharing a separate bowl of soup.
“So why did you name your cat peanut?” The pet in question, or conversation, came from the hallway and walked around rubbing his body against various things in your living room. “Because my brother is allergic to peanuts and peanut hated him so it seemed fitting.” He smiles, content with your answer as she moves his spoon around in the bowl. “You’re a bad host, you know?” With a mouth full of soup, you chew the contents with furrowed brows. He came to your door, invaded your space, is eating your soup and dares to call you a bad host?
“Excuse me, but you’re the one who came up to me at the cafe and practically forced me into going along with your story!” He scoffs, setting his bowl down in his lap while pointing his spoon at you. “You’re the one who went along with it, look where that got you.” You narrow your eyes, trying to weigh your options on what’s the best way to commit homicide. “Wait-what—why are you even in here again?”
“Well, see now that’s a good question.” His sudden change in demeanor was weird. He suddenly seemed nervous, shifting in his spot as he avoided your gaze. “I actually, uh, have something to propose. Well, more like ask a question if you will, it’s really interchangeable honestly.”
He mirrors you, watching you with hopeful eyes as you start shaking your head. “Oh no, uh uh, don’t even say it.” He hurries behind you, pouting as he watches you set your near empty bowl in the sink. “I didn’t even say anything yet.” You turn around, holding your arms out to prevent him getting any closer. “No, but I know what you’re gonna ask and I’m not—no!” Haechan tries to speak, being interrupted when you shh him. You walk past him when he puts his bowl besides yours, speed walking down your hallway to your room.
“Y/n, don’t leave me in here alone.” God he sounded so whiny, it’s kinda cute if you’re honest, but that’s more of a random thought than a compliment for now. “Wait- how did you know my name?” Turning on your heel, the two of you stop midway in your hallway. “The landlord told me, he said if I ever needed anything to ask my neighbor and I currently am in need!” You turn back, trying to block him out as you enter your room and desperately climb into your bed.
Haechan stands at the entrance of your room, pouting when you reach for your laptop beside your bed. “Do you know how insane this is, I mean we just met today and then you just so happened to move in across from me and now you’re in my apartment, practically in my room,” you take in a deep breath, laughing it out as you open the device in your lap, “and I already feel like I know what you’re gonna ask me and it’s so fucking insane.”
Haechan doesn’t say anything, looking at you with an awkward smile. If you knew him, you’d think he was enjoying this, but that’s the thing is that you didn’t know him. “I know this is crazy and you might try to call the cops, but just hear me out.” You scrunch your nose, staring at him from across the room with crossed arms. “Remember the guys I was with earlier right, they’ve kinda been on me about being in a relationship and in a panic, I saw you and yeah the rest you pretty much know.”
“Do you know how pathetic that sounds, to use a random stranger as a decoy for your love, or lack of, life.” He looks taken aback, almost hurt at your brutal honesty and it leaves a slightly bad taste in your mouth. “Look, I’m sorry for that and almost as sorry as the situation your friends put you in.” He shrugs, running his hands through his hair as he opts to sit against your doorframe. There’s an uncomfortable silence that settles between the two of you, both not entirely sure what to say next and not sure on what to even begin to say to make it better.
You stare at the unopened files on your screen, mentally weighing your options and trying to decide whether to kick him out and potentially file a restraining order or to give him a chance, both seem like they’ll end up in flames honestly. “Look, I’ve seen way too many drama shows and I have a feeling on how this is supposed to go—it may be because I’m sleep deprived or how sad you’re looking right now, but I’ll think about it.”
His face lit up, hope filling his eyes with a certain kind of sparkle that made you feel worse if you’re being honest. “I knew it was a good decision to move here, I just knew it.” He mumbled to himself, smiling as he got up from your floor and brushed himself off. “I’ve got work to do, but we’ll talk tomorrow..I guess?” Nodding, Haechan gave you a salute which made you laugh before turning on his heels and disappearing into the darkness of your hallway. You let out a breath, a breath you didn’t know you were holding and lean against your pillows trying to figure out what you just signed up for.
Just as you start clicking on files, Haechan comes running back to your door. “You should probably lock the door.”
“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” Pushing your laptop aside, you get up from your bed and follow behind him.
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The days following your very awkward and yet unclear agreement, you would only see Haechan in the hallway when one of you was leaving as the other was just getting in. That talk you were supposed to have, yeah that never actually happened due to your sudden pileup of work that occupied your time. Just have you been all week, you were currently sitting on your couch with your laptop occupying the space on your lap as you wait for your takeout order. You’re about three-fourths of the way done with what you’re working on when you hear a knock at your door.
Setting the device aside, you get up and go to answer it with your wallet in hand. When you open the door, much to your surprise, you see a very awkward Haechan holding your bags of takeout. “You sure do order a lot of food for one person.” Raising one brow, you reflect the smile he was giving you. “And who said I didn’t have company over?” You step aside, letting him come in and he does just so. After making his way towards your couch, he sets the bags down on the table in the center. You stop to think as you close the door how comfortable he seems when he barely knows you and has only been in your apartment one other time.
“If you did, I probably would’ve heard because, you know, the whole being neighbors thing.”
“Oh so you’re stalking me now?” He rolls his eyes at your comment, plopping down at the end of your couch. “You wish you got that much attention, don’t you.” You grab the nearest thing, good thing for him that it was a pillow, and throw it across the couch—directly hitting him in the head.
“Now that’s enough for a restraining order!”
“Please, if you didn’t wanna be near me then why’d you come to my door?” Haechan got silent, looking down at his hands while you sat back in your spot and started unpacking the food. “That got real deep real fast.” The sound of his chuckle made you smile, making sure to lay out the food across the table for the both of you. Silently, he leaned forward and started to fill up his bowl with toppings of his choice. Both of you started munching down, occasionally setting your food aside to continue your work. “What are you working on?” He asked, leaning into your side to peak over your shoulder.
“Our contract for this unrequited love.”
“Haha, very funny.” Haechan’s sarcastic tone and expression to match made you snicker as you finished up on your report and sent it off to Jungwoo for review. “Just some final notes for an article.” He nods, seeming content with your answer. “That’s not a bad idea though.” When you turn towards him, confusion evident on your face, Haechan then elaborates. “I mean the contract or at least some rules to this,” he motioned his hand between the two of you, “because I can’t tell if you can tell, but I’m desperate as hell.”
“Brownie points for rhyming.”
If you could see whatever went through his head when you said that, you probably would’ve enjoyed it just as much as seeing him throw his head into his hands. “Okay, in all seriousness how are we supposed to do this—I mean we don’t know one another and I’m not very sure I can trust a guy who still plays Michael Jackson till three am.”
Throwing his hands up, Haechan looked both offended and taken aback by your sudden forwardness. ”Firstly, don’t talk about the king like that, he’s a classic and everyone should be blasting his music the way I do, secondly I get where you’re coming from.”
Over the next two hours, the two of you talked about yourselves to help one another get more of an insight of your personalities, laugh at poorly made jokes and eat your way through cheap takeout food. After all that, you two moved on to why he approached you and the reason behind his need for a girlfriend. “So you’re telling me that the tall one,”
“Johnny.”
“Right, Johnny, is getting married and he kept pressuring you get a date for the wedding and instead of telling him you didn’t have one you made up a girl who doesn’t exist and when the one with blue hair,”
“Mark.”
“Yes, Mark, pointed me out as your imaginary girlfriend, you had no other choice, but to approach me and hope I’d play along?”
Haechan took a deep breath, cringing at the way you broke down his story which honestly made it sound worse. “Yeah, pretty much and did I mention they went to meet you before the wedding?” Squinting your eyes, you stare at him with your mouth agape. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“If I was, would I seriously be sitting on your couch right now?”
He had a point, he could honestly be doing anything in the world, probably playing some video game, but like anything other than staring at you like you’re his only hope. “You’re lucky I didn’t call the cops on you or something like a, I dunno, normal person would have.” Haechan falls forward dramatically, grabbing both of your hands and squeezes them as he muffles what you assume is happy screams into your couch cushion.
The sudden move shouldn’t have made your heart jump a little, but it did and you’re not entirely sure why. For now, you’re blaming it on the fact that he’s insanely cute and the greasy food as you feeling a little beside yourself. “Your godsend, truly from heaven itself.” You pull your hands from his grasp, trying to hide the fact that your face feels like it’s on fire. “Yeah yeah, let me go before I reconsider this whole thing.”
“Let me at least take you on the first date before you try to back out—which by the way, will be next weekend at the actual wedding.”
You know that spit-take scene in movies where a person literally spits their drink everywhere because of the shocking news they just received, well that was you when he said that. Only this time it wasn’t in slow motion and wasn’t nearly as awesome, instead you choked halfway through spitting it out and it came back up and out your nose as you tried to save yourself from choking.
Haechan, disgusted you just spit all over him and also worried to see you nearly come to your end, gets up from the couch and searches your apartment for a towel to clean you and him up. When he comes back, you had slipped away to the bathroom to not only hide your embarrassment, but to clean yourself up and change your shirt. After what seemed like enough time to hope he had left, you went back into your living room to see Haechan sitting on the floor and using your couch as a back rest.
“Are you okay because that was—well that was tragic to put it kindly.”
“Can we not mention that, like ever for the rest of our lives would be good.” Sitting across from him, you fold your arms on top of the table, trying to avoid his gaze as you look anywhere but directly at him. He nods, understanding how overwhelmed you just be with all that he’s asking. You can tell by his stance how grateful he is for you and you use that to settle your nerves a bit. After all, maybe this would be a good thing. Maybe all of Karina’s talk about the universe and good karma might actually pull through.
“I’m sorry for roping you into all of this.” When you finally meet his eyes, you could see the sadness that lingered in them as he hung his head. “I don’t want you to think I do this for fun or I’m creepy or anything—I feel really bad for bringing you into something you didn’t ask for.”
Your chest felt heavy as you watched him slump against your couch. The last few interactions with Haechan made you feel like you’ve known him your entire life and seeing him so down had you feeling hurt.
“If you don’t want to do this, tell me please because I just- I don’t want you to go along with this because you feel bad for me.”
“I do feel bad for you, but that’s not why I’m doing this.” When he lifted his head, you could see the smile spread across his lips. “I see this as a an opportunity.”
“To what exactly?” When he leaned in, you did the same. He looked so familiar in this moment, so relaxed and almost kissable. But that’s the last thing you need to be thinking about when his face is damn near touching yours. “Two words: free food.” Watching Haechan gasp, you laugh as he raises his eyebrows at you. “Who said I’m going to pay for your food?”
Shrugging, you look down at your wrist and start to tap it with your finger. “Oh look at that, seems like you’ll have to find another girl who will help you, guess you might as well go ho-“
Haechan jumped up from his seat, moving around the table to grab your wrist. “No no, that’s okay—free food you said, that includes travel rights too?” You almost hate to say it, but this boy was making moves that damn near took your breath away. It sounds almost sad to be so swooned over a boy you hardly know, but there was something about him that just made you feel so at home. Maybe it was the way he laughs at every bad joke you tell or maybe it’s the way he’s way too touchy for your liking and yet you don’t seem to mind it.
Maybe it’s the way his lips are so plump and every time he pouts, you just wanna grab his face and kiss him till you’re out of breath. Maybe it’s the way his hand always feels warm to the touch and you could only imagine how you’d feel with his arms around you.
“Earth to y/n?” The snapping of Haechan’s fingers pulled you from your thoughts, blinking at him as if he was just apart of your imagination this whole time. “What’s going on up there that’s got you so spaced out?”
“Nothing, just thinking about what I’m gonna wear to the wedding.” Haechan looked at you a little longer, his eyes scanning your face to which you assume he’s trying to find something in your eyes. He seems to have bought it, backing away from you to create more personal space for you while he goes back to sit across from you. “Good point, we might just have to go shopping around this weekend to find a dress—oh and don’t forget one for the wedding so that makes two.”
“With what money, exactly? I mean I’m not broke, but I’m not paid enough to buy two dresses I’ll probably only wear once.”
He rolls his eyes at you, pulling his phone from his pocket when it starts vibrating. He doesn’t answer, instead he swipes right on the caller id and brings the device to his ear. From what you can hear from the person on the other side of the phone, you felt like he probably had something important to do. You start to get up, picking up the towels that he used to clean up the couch with. When you left to drop them off in the dirty basket, you return to find your door cracked and Haechan to be missing. Assuming he had went back to his apartment, you start to go and close the door before it swings. Haechan comes in, being followed behind by a guy you don’t recognize.
“Donghyuck, that’s breaking bro-code and you know it.” You’re a little confused as to why Haechan was called by another name, but you stay silent and watched the blonde haired boy cross his arms at Haechan. “I told you Yangyang, I’m not going to give you the girl at my jobs number—she already told me she filed a restraining order.”
Yangyang, the blonde haired guy you assume, pouts as he gets down on his knees with hands intertwined. “Pretty please, it doesn’t even have to be her, it can be someone else, I just need someone man—I’m lonely!”
You watch the dramatic scene unfold in your living room, getting a weird sense of deja vu. After clearing your throat to try and prevent yourself from coughing, both boys look at you with confusion in their eyes. “Are you the fake girlfriend?”
“I guess?” The question threw you off when Haechan’s friend said it so bluntly. “Stop asking questions and go to my apartment.” Haechan picked his friend up from the ground, shooing him out of yours and to the one across the hall. When Yangyang was now in his apartment, Haechan turned to you with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry for what you had to witness.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ve had weirder experiences than that if I’m being honest.”
He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks around the floor. “So, I uh, I gotta get back to him or else he’ll probably destroy my apartment.”
“I’ll walk you home.” Your offer had his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink as you followed him from your door to his. Right before he went inside, he turned around and, to your surprise, gave you a hug. You took him in, wrapping your arms around his as you two held each other for what felt like forever. “Goodnight, Haechan.” You whispered as he pulled away, smiling at him. “Donghyuck.”
When you looked at him confused, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “My name is donghyuck, but my friends typically call me Haechan.”
“So we’re not friends?” He shook his head, smiling so fondly at you that you weren’t sure what was real or fake at this point. “Only my special friends can call me Donghyuck.”
That night, his words echoed in your head as you laid in bed staring at your ceiling. You seem quite delusional for falling for someone who you barely know, but boy oh boy does he have you on the edge and you’re ready to give it all just to fall into him. You grab your phone from off your bed, scrolling through your messages till you find Karina’s name.
y/n: baby boo u awake?
naevis baevis: no ew go to sleep
y/n: I think I like him
naevis baevis: GIRL WHATT THE HELL DID I MISS??
y/n: i don’t know I’m IDK he’s got me feelin wheezy
naevis baevis: so he’s got you having diarrhea??
y/n: NO BITCH WHAT??
naevis baevis: tell me tomorrow at work I’m too tired for you and your pneumonia
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As Karina swiveled her chair around, you sat on top of her desk while picking at the chipped polish on your nails. “So what’s his friend look like?” You look over at her with a deadpan expression as she wiggles her phone in her hand for you to see. “That’s the least important part of the story and instead of being a good friend you wanna ask about the random guy who practically begged for bitches on my living room floor?” She nods, continuing to wiggle her phone at you until you snatch it from her hand and type in his name.
“That’s all I get?” She frowns, scrolling through the pulled up suggested accounts with the same name. “Look, I only know his name was Yangyang and you better hope I spelt that right.” She looks focused as she continues to scroll through, clicking on an account and holding it up for you to approve—to which you did. “He’s kinda cute.” She coos, looking through his instagram feed while leaning back in her chair. “Karina.” You whine, nudging her leg with your foot as she giggles at her phone. She looks up from her phone, mirroring your pout as she sets the device down and folds her hands together. “Look, I don’t see anything wrong with it, he’s offering to pay for your dresses and he’s incredibly hot from what I saw on his friends page so I say it’s a win-win.”
“How do you know he’s incredibly hot based off his friends page?”
“Duh, you’ve described this man to me so many times I’ve practically seen him through your eyes at this point.” She had a point, ever since Haechan walked into your life, all you seem to do is talk about him and how he makes your stomach is filled with butterflies. “So when’s the wedding again?” You snap out from your thoughts, staring at her with shock. “Huh?”
“His friends wedding, when is it?” For some reason when she first asked the question, you thought she was talking about you and Haechan and that alone had your face turning a slight shade of pink. “Girl please don’t tell me you thought I was talking about your man.” You rolled your eyes, sliding yourself off her desk and pulled down the rolled up pieces of fabric of your pants. “He’s not my man.” She gives you a look that tells you she doesn’t buy your bullshit and swivels her chair back around to her computer. “Tell that to lover boy next time you see him.”
You ignore her last comment and head back to your desk, confused to see a note left by your keyboard. When you pick it up, you read that Xiaojun had eaten your lunch by accident and apologized via sticky note. Crumbling it in your hand, you plop down into your chair in defeat. You throw the sticky note in the trash and start to open up files on your computer when you hear the phone on your desktop ring. Answering, you continue to click open files with the phone to your ear. “Y/n’s office.”
“Hey y/n, it’s winter down at the front desk, this guy is asking for you if you’re not busy.” You check the time on your computer, shrugging as you pin a couple important things before closing off the rest. “Sure, I’ll come down.” After you hang up the phone, you let Jaehyun know you’re going to lunch in which he replies he hopes you get a stomach bug. One of these days you’re gonna poison his food you think—playfully of course.
After a quick elevator ride down, you enter the main lobby of your building and wave at Winter who was standing behind the front desk. She returns the wave with a smile and points over at Haechan who was sitting on a bench by the front doors. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers and his phone. “Um, are you stalking me because if you are then this won’t work, I draw the line at being creepy.” Your voice caught Haechan’s attention, closing off his phone and tucking it into his jacket pocket as he gets up and heads towards you. “No I’m not stalking you, I asked the landlord for your number and where you worked and surprisingly he told me in a heartbeat.”
You make the mental note to stop sharing personal information with your landlord before focusing in on the flowers in his hand. Haechan’s eyes follow yours, looking down at the flowers before handing them over to you. “I thought since I’m your fake boyfriend, I might as well be a good one for compensation on having to deal with the shit show you got sucked into.” You smile at the flowers, looking up to meet his eyes. “Thank you, for the flowers I mean.” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he tries to hide his smile. “So, you’re not busy are you, because I totally showed up unannounced, but I figured it was better to do that then text you and you block my number”.
“No, I’m on lunch right now and you chose the best option on that.” He nods, linking his arm with yours and immediately starts walking towards the exit. “Excuse me, but where exactly are we going and why the hell did you feel the need to skip with your steps?” He smiled and if you’re honest, his smile brightened up the entire atmosphere around you. “We’re going dress shopping, duh, oh and to get lunch because I’m a good boyfriend like that.”
You didn’t have time to protest before the two of you were off into the city. He gave you the choice for lunch, picking a taco stand near some shops because you felt guilty for him paying for everything. He would not let you bring out your wallet and even threatened to throw it out the window if you tried to spend your money. The gesture was sweet, but his seriousness made you tuck it safety away in your pocket.
Once you found a dress shop you were comfortable entering, you both entered and looked around before one of the staff took you away while the other walked Haechan around and helped him pick out dresses for you to try on. Once he found a couple different options, you tried them on and the both of you settled on your favorite pick for the first dress that you’d wear to the ceremony. Since the reception was going to be later in the night, Haechan opted for a different dress that was more covering so that you wouldn’t be so cold. When you came out in the second dress that he himself specifically picked, you almost felt too nervous to meet his gaze.
When he turned around from talking to a staff member, he visibly froze when his eyes met with yours. Panic starts to rush through your veins as you pull and fluff the dress in hopes that you don’t look like a total fool. “So, how does it look?” Haechan didn’t say anything for almost two minutes, staring at you with his mouth open. You snap your fingers at him, face turning read as the staff members smile lovingly at you both. “Sorry, I uh, wow.” You look at him dumbfounded, turning around to go back and change out of the dress. Just before you close the curtain, you could feel the warmth from his fingers wrap around your wrist and turn you around. “Breathtaking, to answer your question, you look absolutely breathtaking.”
“I meant the dress.” You mumble as you try to avoid his gaze. “The dress is just a piece of fabric, it’s the person wearing it that gives it such glow.” You couldn’t think straight, your mind going to mush with the lack of space between you and Haechan, the sudden smell of his cologne taking over your senses and his blown-out pupils making you feel almost dizzy. You nod, swallowing thickly as you pull yourself from his grasp and rush into the changing area. Embarrassing is what you’d call that, way too embarrassing to talk about and way too embarrassing to not forget. You opt to pretend it didn’t happen and get dressed. When you hang the dresses on the outer rack, you realize the dress Haechan picked didn’t have any coverage on the shoulders and by time you had gotten dressed, you saw him at the register.
“Where’s the dresses?” You ask, meeting him by his side when he gets his receipt from the cashier. “They’re bagging them up now, why?”
“The second one didn’t have sleeves, you wanted sleeves so I don’t get cold, no?” To see the smile on his face made you confused, there wasn’t anything particular that was funny nor did you say anything for him to be smiling like he just found a million dollars. “I only want you by my side in that dress, the rest doesn’t matter.” You snicker, shoving him as one of the staff members calls his name. He walks over, getting both dresses in their boxes and some simple instructions on how to take care of them in washing. “You two are a beautiful couple.” The cashier’s voice caught you off guard, waving your hands as you shake your head.
“No, you’re mistaken, we’re not together.” Her eyes flicker between you and Haechan, smiling as she looks away embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I just thought because of the way you two look at one another.” You were just about to ask her what she meant by that when Haechan came back. “Ready to go?” You nodded, following him out the store and back to his car where you two drove in silence back to your job.
He bid you a goodbye and told you he’d keep the dresses till you came by to get them. You promised him you’d be by after work and went back into the building with the biggest smile on your face. With the flowers in one hand, you scanned your ID badge when you entered the building and saw a bunch of weird states from your coworkers. You wouldn’t necessarily call the weird, but they were all smiling at you so sickly that you felt as if you were about to get pranked.
The ride up the elevator was also weird, a bunch of people kept giggling and smiling at you when asking about your flowers and it was starting to make you uncomfortable. As you got off on your floor, you walk down to get to your desk when someone grabs you and drags you into a janitor’s closet. You nearly scream when being jerked to the side until you see Karina with a shit-eating grin on her face. Now that you know you weren’t about to be chopped up into little pieces, you steady yourself and take deep breaths to catch your breath. “You’re fucking insane.”
Staring at her in shock, you slap her thigh to which she winces. “Me, insane? You just drug me into a closet like a psycho maniac and for what?” She giggles into her hand, leaning forward as she sniffs your flowers. “So he brought you fucking flowers girl? We were just talking about him and he shows up with a bouquet and a ring?”
You roll your eyes at her emphasis on a ring. “What ring, we literally—wait firstly who told you he brought me flowers?” She then proceeds to explain how Winter saw you and Haechan and then told Ningning who then told Wendy who then told Taeyong who then told Jaehyun who then told literally everyone. You make another mental note to hunt Jaehyun down and ruin his chance at having kids. “So spill the tea, c’mon, don’t be shy and tell me about your date.”
“It wasn’t a date, he took me to lunch which he wouldn’t let me pay for I might add, he brought me dresses for the wedding he coerced me to be his date for and then drove me back.” She holds her hand over her mouth as she stares at you with a smile. “So he took you on a date.” You then slap her thigh again as she giggles and an unfamiliar smell catches your attention. “What’s that smell?” She looks at you, considering what smell you could be talking about. You lean in, getting a good look at her to realize her hair had been messed with, her lips slightly swollen and her shirt was buttoned wrongly.
You give her a grin as she sees you connect the dots and immediately opens the door. “Oh no, come back and do spill the tea miss Karina!” She covers her ears, trying to block you out as you follow behind her and start pointing out the differences of her appearance from before you last saw her.
Later that night, you kept your promise to go over to Haechan’s, but only after you had taken a very much needed shower did you do so. When you knocked on his door, you could hear the music that was being played stop and a bit of shuffling before the door opened. You expected to see Haechan, but to your surprise you saw someone you weren’t exactly familiar with. The guy who was giving you a weird look was his honestly kind of cute in an intimidating way, but you stopped yourself from thinking that any further than you already did. “Are you gonna say something or are you just gonna stare at me?”
Embarrassed, you avert your eyes from his and try to think of something to say. You don’t know why you feel so under pressure, maybe it was the lack of expression in his face or the fact that he was practically your height, but made you feel small. “Renjun, was that the pizza guy?” You could hear Haechan from inside the apartment, his voice bringing a smile to your lips. Just as you’re about to go back into your apartment and give up on getting your dresses, Haechan comes beside to the boy you assume is Renjun and sees your visible uncomfortableness. “Y/n, hi- oh shit I forgot to give you your dresses, didn’t I?”
“No, no actually I was supposed to come get them, but that’s okay I’m just gonna uhm I’m gonna go home.” Backing away from the door, you signal to your apartment entrance behind you as you see Haechan pout. “Wait, why don’t you come inside and hang out with us?” Haechan, who slipped through the space between Renjun and the wall, made his way to you in hopes to stop you from leaving. Your eyes flicker between Renjun and Haechan, feeling almost guilty for wanting to remove yourself from this awkward situation. “Hyuck, I’m just across the hall, go have time with your friend.”
Haechan’s face softened at the nickname, nodding when his hand brushed against yours. He clears his throat as he steps back towards his apartment, waving at you goodnight as you go back in to snuggle up to your cat. Haechan re-entered his apartment, ignoring the look on Renjun’s face as he plops down on his couch. “What was that and why was that so weird?” Haechan shot a look over at Renjun when his friend started to mirror the look.
“What, I mean from what I just saw from you two, y’all have some weird tension that needs to be solved.”
“Nah, you just scared her away by being that ugly.”
Renjun sarcastically laughs at Haechan’s poorly made joke, flipping up his middle finger at his friend. “I have you know that women find me dangerously attractive.” Haechan snickers, trying to prevent himself from laughing too hard. “Is that what your mom tells you at night?” The last part is what lead Haechan to run for his life around his apartment as Renjun brought various objects for use of a weapon against his friend. Finally after the two made a truce, Haechan decides to text you after remembering how he never did give you his number.
You were a little surprised to get a text when you weren’t expecting one, especially at the hour that it came in. You had been on the phone with Karina while she filled you in on the reason for her shirt being undone and messed up earlier that day. “I literally don’t know what came over me, but I messaged the guy and he ended up being around and we just pounced.”
You laugh, clicking on the message app. “I can’t believe you nearly gave it all to Yangyang.” She laughs, wiping the tears that were in the corners of her eyes from all the giggling you two have been doing. “Me either! I mean I know he’s cute, but damn his lips are magic.” You hesitate to open the unknown message, afraid it could bad someone trying to scam you out of whatever you got and to be honest it wasn’t much, but you knew you wouldn’t let them have your cat peanut.
unknown: hey
y/n: uhm hello?
unknown: I miss u
y/n: I will literally block you
unknown: ITS ME ITS HAECHAN
y/n: ohh hi hyuck
You decide change his contact name and save his number.
boy next door aka hyuck: wyd :p
y/n: blocking you bc that was cringe
boy next door aka hyuck: you want me so bad oo 😵‍💫
y/n: don’t you wish I did 😏
boy next door aka hyuck: yes
y/n: I’m telling my fbi agent
boy next door aka hyuck: tell them I said i just wanted to text you so you’ll have my number
boy next door aka hyuck: and to apologize for Renjun earlier but goodnight for now
y/n: goodnight hyuck
boy next door aka hyuck: goodnight y/n
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The rest of the week and a half that played out before the wedding only added more fuel to the fire in your heart that burned for Haechan. He would send you songs throughout the day at random times to which you started adding to a playlist anytime you couldn’t stop thinking about him. He would leave things at your doorstep or drop stuff off at your job for you to get on your lunch break. He occasionally would come over or you’d be invited over and the two of you would spend the night laughing at poorly made moves, singing old Michael Jackson songs at the top of your lungs, which is how you realized that he was literally gifted the voice of an angel, and play board games after the two of you had one too many drinks.
Each time you two were alone and it was late, it always seemed that you were avoiding the inevitable. You could always stop yourself from leaning in and stealing a kiss from his plump and precious lips, but that never stopped your mind from thinking about it. The tension that Renjun mentioned before seemed to only get thicker the more you spent time with him, making it harder to see the line between this all being fake and what was genuinely real.
The morning of the wedding to be specific was when you could clearly tell that the dynamic of your relationship had shifted and there wasn’t much room to turn back now. That alone terrified you because you weren’t sure if you had been the only one feeling the way you felt. You had changed into your dress and made sure to apply minimal makeup to keep yourself from looking like a burnt out clown by the end of the night. Thankfully for you, the dress was comfortable and the venue where the ceremony was being held wasn’t too far.
“Are you nervous?” Your question came unexpected to Haechan, turning his head to give you a quick glance over as he continued his drive to the ceremony venue. “Why should I be, I’m not the one getting married.” He smiled thinking about his friend and the future he was creating from this day forward. Haechan was genuinely excited to see Johnny become a dad and do all the things he knew he was fit for. It wasn’t like Haechan was scared for that part of his future, he did look forward to being married and settling down with his partner, but he never thought he’d actually get that far in life to do so.
“Dunno, just thought I’d ask.” You lean against the window, propped up on your elbow as you watch the buildings pass by. Haechan reached over, grabbing your free hand and intertwined his fingers within yours. A lot of the time he would do this and each time it felt so comforting that silence would take over and all that could be heard was the music that was being washed out by the beating of your heart for him.
You must’ve zoned out because by the time you tuned back in, Haechan was parking the car at the front of the building and waiting for you to realize you had arrived. You got out the car, instantly smelling the salty ocean air beige meeting him around the front of the car and bring your hands up to straighten his bow tie. He smiles down at you, shoving his hands into his pockets as you brush off his tuxedo and fiddle with his hair. You give him a puzzled look, watching as he shook his head and mumbled something along the lines about ‘that was cute’.
The two of you entered the building, you turn to glance back at the beach that looked so relaxing before linking your arm with his. A few people come up to Haechan and you, introducing themselves and complementing the two of you as a couple. You stayed quiet for most of the time, not exactly knowing what to say and Haechan didn’t seem that interested in the people as well. You spot someone familiar, well he’s not exactly familiar, but you had seen him before. The boy with blue hair makes his way over, you choose to step aside and watch as he hugs Haechan as the two smile and pat one another on the back.
“Dude it’s been so long, what’s going on?” After hugging Haechan, the boy you try to remember that is Mark, straightens out his tux, but never falters his smile. “I‘be been busy with work and oh- I want you to meet someone.” To be honest, you weren’t really paying attention when Haechan started walking over to you. His warm hand lifted yours and the sweet look in his eyes made your cheeks feel warm. “This is my girlfriend y/n, y/n this is my best friend Mark.”
You go in to shake his hand, surprised when he pulled you into a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you, y/n, lover boy over here has literally been talking nonstop about you.” You smile, watching as Haechan mouths to you that he’s going to find your seats. After mark pulls back, the two of you chat a little by the same area, occasionally looking around for Haechan to find him talking to who you assume is his friends. “You know, you’re really good for him.” Marks words had you almost taken aback, turning your head to see him smiling. “At first, I was pretty hesitant because when he told me he had a girlfriend I didn’t believe him, but I’ve seen how happy he’s been and I can’t wait for us to meet again like this, it’s been a pleasure to meet you.”
“Meet like this again?” Mark look slightly embarrassed that you didn’t catch on, but he was being called by his date for the evening so he started to make his way off.
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After the ceremony was over, everyone started to move towards the venue for the rest of the evening to conclude. A lot of people were left in tears, yourself included, by the vows exchanged between Johnny and his now wife.
When the two of you enter the venue, an overwhelming feeling washes over you and makes you grip his hand a little tighter. Haechan seems to notice, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as he guides you through the crowd of people who grouped around the entrance. Once he finds quieter space to pull you two, you were too spaced out to realize how close he had gotten. Both of his hands were on your shoulders, rubbing softly on the exposed skin to calm you.
“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, I’m right here y/n.” His voice brings you in from your thoughts, focusing on in the look in his eyes and how soft his features are in this moment. With a little nod, you let him know you’re with him and he smiles as you pull one of his hands from your shoulder and intertwine your fingers. He takes this opportunity to lead you towards your table where some of his friends you met earlier were seated. You immediately spot Karina and Yangyang at the mini bar just further down from the table and gave Yangyang a wave as he spots you and Haechan.
Haechan’s hand finds its way into the small of your back, immediately getting your attention as you turn your head towards him. “I’m gonna go get us something to drink.” He says, just loud enough to be heard over the music. You nod, standing behind your chair as you look over to the stage. Johnny walks up with the widest smile you’ve seen him sport since he kissed his bride and taps on the microphone a couple times. “Can I have everyone’s attention? Hello, everyone look up here.” Everyone goes quiet and the musics volume is lowered as Johnny looks over at the crowd. “I want to thank everyone coming out to celebrate me and my lovely wife coming together, this first dance will go out to all the new and older couples that are here, please join us in this dance to celebrate love that’s everlasting.”
Just as Johnny raises his glass, Haechan comes back and hands you your drink. You smiled as you took the glass from him and took a sip as the crowd raised theirs with Johnny. Just as Johnny gets off the stage, couples all start to make their way to the dance floor as Johnny gets to his wife and meets her in the middle. “We should go dance.” Surprised, you set your glass down and give Haechan a puzzled look. “Dance? But I don’t know how to dance and this is a couples dance.” He doesn’t take no for an answer, grabbing your hand and pulling you to follow him. “We are a couple.” You can’t exactly tell if he’s still going along with the fake dating charade for his friends or if the light in his eyes was genuine.
It doesn’t take much for you to give in, especially when the most romantic song Dandelions starts to play. Once he found a moveable spot on the floor, his hands circle around to your back and pull you in close. Your hands rest on his shoulders as you try not to make too much eye contact with him inches away from your face. “You’re so beautiful, y/n.” You could feel your cheeks heating up, trying to hide your face from him as you clear your throat. “Likewise, hyuck.”
“Just likewise?” When you turned your head to face his, he seemed a lot closer than you remembered and for some reason that terrified you and relaxed you at the same time. “I mean you are beautiful, very handsome and whatnot.” He laughs and the sound goes straight to your heart. You knew before you gotten to this point that falling for him would be so easy and so hard, but never did you expect for it to be this gentle. “I’m glad you think so, that alone gives me enough confidence to do what I’ve been dying to do.” You tilt your head at his sudden confession, watching as he leaned in and rested his head against yours.
You didn’t know what to do or even what to say, instead you opted to stay quiet and continue to hold him as the two of you danced. Somewhere between the end of Dandelions and the beginning of Golden Hour, your head was now resting against his chest and the two of you were lost in your own world. Haechan brought his hand up to your chin, gently lifting your head up. You blink at him, caught up in the music and the moment, not realizing what was about to happen nor did you want it to stop.
Haechan leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him further in. Your brain turned into mush and your body felt like it was on fire as the two of you were caught up in a slow and almost loving kiss on the dance floor. Haechan was the first to pull away, resting his forehead against yours as he catches his breath. You continued to sway with him, moving back and forth as you build up the courage to ask the question you’ve been dying for an answer to. “Will you be my girlfriend, like a real one this time?” Pulling back, you smile at Haechan who looks almost panicked.
“Because if not that’s okay too- like you don’t have to we can totally forg—“ You cut him off by pulling him back in for a kiss. He smiles against your lips, giving your hip a playful squeeze. Once the two of you pull back from one another’s lips, Haechan smiles which turns into a soft string of laughs. “What’s so funny, it’s not exactly polite to laugh after kissing a girl you know.” He tries to explain, failing to when he continues laughing. “Aren’t you glad you got a free trial?” You give him a puzzled look, watching as he steps back from you and spins around on his heel. “Free trial wedding style.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at the way he poorly described your fake relationship from the beginning, but he had a point. You look back and now thank the universe for bringing him into your life and can’t wait to see what it’ll be like from here on out. Who knows, maybe the next wedding you’ll be at will be yours.
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©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2022
2K notes · View notes
tqmies · 1 year
Text
REEL | Lee Jeno
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Description. The annual camping trip that your friend group held every year was rapidly approaching. Jeno, dateless, enlists your help in catching him a date. If only it were that simple, but unfortunately, nothing is ever that simple.
Pairings. Lee Jeno x Female Reader (Slight Sungchan x Reader) 
Genre. Romance, Smut, Comedy
Warnings. Curses, Sexual jokes, Drinking, Unprotected Sex (Always wrap it before you tap it!) , Oral (F. and M. Receiving), Semi-public, Creampie.
Word count. 10K
Note: MINORS DNI! It makes me uncomfortable. Also this is my first time posting smut on this blog :) Please let me know how you all feel about it. PLEASE leave feedback I’m really nervous about this one hehe. Ok ok, enjoy!!
“IT’S ALL JUST A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT.” Were the first words that floated through the air.
“I agree, but the rest of us have already completed that right of passage.”
“Haechan goes through them like Pokemon cards.”
You walk into the scene, bewildered by what the boys are discussing. “Please don’t tell me you’re talking about virginity.” You gag.
“Pftt, virginity? Like Jeno can even get a girlfriend.” Jaemin responds, jabbing his finger towards the aforementioned boy. 
So that’s what this was about? This was always a popular topic of conversation with you guys. What could you say, he was an easy target.
Your friend, Lee Jeno, has had yet to have his first girlfriend. Now this isn’t a big deal, but seeing as he was friends with boys who have had at least nine girlfriends before, it definitely made him stand out. 
“Look I just don’t get why it’s a big deal.” Jeno reconciles. 
“You don’t get a lot of things. Like girlfriends.” Haechan says causing Mark to snicker. 
“Leave him alone.” You say, “Not everyone want’s to date half our town like you did.”
“Oh she got your ass!” Jaemin giggles.
“Shut up, you dated the other half.”
This throws Chenle into a fit of laughter, “You gonna let her talk to you like that? Personally if it was me-”
“Your girlfriend treats your dog better than you.” You warn. 
Chenle stops in his tracks as his jaw drops, he scoffs as he pretends to be hurt by your comment. 
“Damn, you’re out for blood today.” The group laughs again. 
“Oh no, she always gets like this when it comes to her little Jeno-weno.” Haechan teases, using a nickname that you hadn't called Jeno since you were kids.
You push him away as you scrunch your nose, “You guy’s are so annoying.”
“Yeah, yeah, you love us.” 
The boys delve into another conversation as you continue to think about the previous one.
I mean, you had wondered about it for a long time. Why didn’t Jeno have a girlfriend? He surely had the looks, not to mention how sweet the boy was. Though, you just chalked it up to him not being interested. He did just brush off every girl who tried to make advances. Maybe he wasn’t looking for anything.
You knew he pulled, he had his secret little hook-ups now and then, but he never was one to commit. The boys liked to deduce that it was the girls who just didn’t want to date Jeno, but you digress. 
Your attention is drawn back to the conversation when Jaemin mentions something about the camping trip that was approaching. It was a little trip you guys had planned every year, and for the past two it had been a success. Though, Jaemin being Jaemin, wanted to switch things up a bit.
“A couple’s camping trip?!” Mark had asked in disbelief. 
“Yeah think about it! Everyone comes in a pair, we share tents, and play games, and maybe even get some action.” Jaemin responds, wiggling his brows at the suggestive comment. 
“Gross, I’m not interested in hearing Haechan and his ‘girl of the week’ doing it in some tent.” You add on, because let’s be honest, his girls were rarely ever quiet. He was rarely ever quiet. 
“Why? You jealous? You know, all you have to do is ask.” He says, leaning closer to you as you put your palm to his face. Jeno looks at you two warily.
“In your dreams.” You state, removing your hand in disgust as he licks it. Punching him in the shoulder as you yell at how gross he is.
“She has a point though,” Renjun speaks up. “I’m not interested in having my tent next to Jaemin and that chick.”
“That chick has a name!” The aforementioned replies, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Not like we would know, you keep her locked up.” Chenle interjects.
“Rightfully so! She’d run for the hills if she knew you guys.”
“Yeah like you’re any better.”
This starts another little spurt of endless bickering as you roll your eyes.
“I just think it’s be weird, you know? To introduce like six new people to our group at once?” Mark comments, you and Renjun nodding your heads in agreement.
“Also it’s gonna be hard to find someone who’s down to go camping in the middle of the woods with a bunch of strangers.” You reason.
“Awe, scared you’re not going to find anyone?” Haechan smirks, the facial expression seeming to be permanently etched across his face.
“I’m more worried about Jeno over there.” You snicker, noticing the boy had been quiet.
“You too?” He groans, throwing his head back in defeat.
You just laugh, sure you’d always defend him. But you were definitely not above poking fun at Jeno every now and then.
After finishing your lunch and bidding the boys goodbye, you’re walking away when you hear your voice being called.
You turn to see Jeno following behind you as he makes it to your side. “Come to walk me to class?”
“Yes..” He starts. “and no.”
“Uh oh, what do you want?”
“Why do you assume I want something?”
“You always do,” You shrug. “That’s just how you are Lee.”
He frowns, “I need a favor.”
“No I won’t be your camp date.”
“Damn! Why not?” He pleads, he was so sure you’d agree. And he wasn’t too far off.
Sure, you’d love nothing more than to be cooped up in a tent with your hot friend, but that’d be crossing too many boundaries. So as nice as it sounded, you had to refuse.
“It’d be too weird.”
“How?”
“Cause we’re friends.”
“Geez, I’m not asking you to sleep with me. I’m just asking to share a tent and maybe like, I don’t know, sit by me? We sleep in the same room all the time.”
“And you just assume I don’t have someone I plan on bringing?” You ask, sporting a smirk.
“You do?”
Of course you don’t. Truth be told, you were so busy that you hadn’t dipped your foot in the dating waters for months. The only boys you ever even talked to were the ones in your friend group.
Though, you were nothing short of options. Surely you could pull some random boy along with you, just for the trip. One Instagram post and your direct messages would be flooded. 
“That’s for me to know, and for you to find out.” 
He just scoffs at your response before looking away, “What about Yoo Jimin?”
“What?”
“I should ask her to be my camp date.”
“There’s no way in hell! Yoo Jimin only goes for older guys. Like graduated guys.” You explain, opening the door to enter your classes building. 
“What? Really?”
“Yes, you’re telling me you really didn’t know that?” 
“No.. I mean, I just thought maybe she wasn’t interested in any guys here.”
“Geez Jeno, you really know nothing about girls.” 
“All you guys do is make fun of me! What about actually helping me?!” He explains, stomping his feet like a child. 
“Yeah, nothing could help you out there.” You sigh.
“Please help me! I’m begging!” 
“What?!” You raise a brow. 
“Help me get a date!”
“Why should I spend my precious time helping you?” You tease, knowing you didn't have much else to do. 
“Please?!” He begs, and you, with your horrible inability to resist, give in.
You tell him to meet you at his place after your last class of the day. Having no idea what was in store for you. And just like you said, you were at his place right on time.
Flopping onto his bed, you scroll through your phone as Jeno stares at you from his desk chair.
“What?” You say, placing your phone down as you raise a brow.
“I thought you were gonna help!” He whines, turning around in his swivel chair. 
“I am helping!” You defend. “I’m…I’m scoping Instagram for potential dates!”
“You’re a horrible liar.”
“Whatever,” You sign, turning your phone towards him.“Look, shes really pretty. She goes to our university too. Why don’t you try and message her.” 
Jeno looks very caught off guard, “That’s Yiren.” 
“Ok? She seems cool, she likes to travel, and she’s pretty!” You say, scrounging her profile intently.
“Looks aren’t everything.”
“Did you not hear everything I said before that?” You groan. “At least try.”
He nods, picking up his own phone and typing in her username. Going quiet for a couple minutes, he finally puts his phone down. “Okay, I messaged her.”
You squeal, “Now we wait!” 
He just smiles, “Wanna order some food?”
“I thought you’d never ask! I’ll pick a movie?” 
And so, after picking the scariest movie you could find, (And the heaviest blankets), you settle into the couch with your takeout box.
You two are engrossed in the film, when Jeno’s phone loudly dings.
Shuffling to sit up, you smile, “Is that her?”
The smile fades from your face as you read the message.
@_WangYerin: Ew...
You look dejectedly at Jeno.
“Yeah no, this is not gonna work.” He opens his mouth to speak again.
You interrupt him. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea. I’m sure we can find you one girl in time.”
-
“Jeno.”
“Yeah?”
“What the hell are you wearing?”
He looks down to his outfit, raising his brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Jeno, I don’t even know where to begin..” You pause, your eyes drawing over his clothing.
He was donned head to toe in fishing gear. Loose cargo shorts and a floral printed shirt. Completed with the floppy hat and reel. He looked like a tourist.
This was truly ridiculous. He was standing in your living room, dressed like he was in some swamp marsh in Florida. (Even then, he’d still be overdressed.) 
“There’s plenty of fish in the sea.” He references, wiggling his brows at you. Gesturing to his outfit, “Chicks dig this right?”
“What?!” You exclaim, your face donned with confusion. Is that what he thought girls liked? It took everything in you not to burst out laughing.
“I’m starting to think..” He trails, “That’s not what you meant.”
“You’re hopeless.” You announce, resting your palm against your chin. 
How were you going to fix this? Not to mention that you only had about two weeks to do it. “Ignoring the poor choice of outfit, let’s talk about something else.”
He just nods as you scrounge your brain, “So as you know, you don’t have the best reputation preceding woman..”
“What do you mean? I love woman!” He proclaims, as if he couldn’t believe what you were getting at.
You sigh, “If only they loved you.”
He scoffs before rolling his sleeves up, “Look at these bad boys. The ladies can’t resist.”
You swear your eyes could roll of your head. “Be real Jeno, it takes more than some muscles to get a girlfriend.”
“Damn.” Is all he says as he pulls his sleeves down. Trying to ignore your judging eyes.
“I’m starting to think this is damn near impossible.” You speak.
“You’ve barely even helped yet!” 
“And I’m already failing!”
Looking around your apartment, you feel as if a light bulb went off in your head. “We’re not going to get anything done in here. We need to be outside, scouting you some girls!” 
And with that, you grab his wrist and drag him out through the front door. Pointing at the keys in his pocket, “You drive, its the gentlemanly thing to do.”
“Yeah okay,” He scoffs, “You’re just lazy.”
He unlocks his car and you pile in, relieved to be in the passengers seat for once. “I could get used to this.” You speak, reclining your seat.
“Oh I didn’t know they could go back that far.” He says, genuine amazement donning his face. You cringe at his words.
“Are you kidding?” You laugh. “Don’t let Haechan hear you say that.”
“He already knows I get no action. I’m sure he won’t be surprised.” He grumbles.
“Okay, here’s another tip.” You announce, sitting up. “You need to have more confidence.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say I don’t.” 
“No I know, but girls love men who seem sure of themselves, you know? They don’t want someone who’s muddling around proclaiming they have no game.”
He takes you in your words but shakes his head, “I don’t know..”
“C’mon Jeno,” You say, turning to meet his eyes. “You’re young, you’re hot, you work out! And you’re super sweet. Not to mention you’re like crazy smart,” 
You continue on rambling as you fail to notice Jeno’s growing smirk. He was going to relish in every compliment that fell from your tongue. And surely tease you about it later.
You only stopped when you notice how quiet he got. 
“Hello? Earth to Jeno?” 
“I’m here,” He responds with a smile.
“You’re so annoying.” You roll your eyes.
“Where to?” He speaks, ignoring your comment. 
“The park! The one by campus. There’s always tons of people just hanging out there.” You proclaim. 
You always took note of the various groups that were there at all times of day. Studying or having a picnic, but you were sure you were going to run into at least one group of girls. And if they had any sense, they would eat Jeno up. 
As the sun starts to set on your day though, you realize they were definitely not eating Jeno up. In fact, every time Jeno approached a girl, they seemed to dodge it the other way. Half-assed excuses donning their lips, and that was if they were nice. Some of the girls just blatantly ignored him and continued on their way. 
Yet, Jeno didn’t let up. He didn’t even seem the slightest bit discouraged. 
Even as he got shot down by another girl. One claiming she ‘Wasn’t in the mood to get her heart broken.’ 
Though you digress, you knew that girl, she was in your Econ class. And if her on and off relationship with Choi Yeonjun was any indicator, she was just trying to save face. Or at least that’s what you told Jeno as you walked back to his car.
You knew what the girls thought about Jeno, likely that he was just trying to pick himself up a weekly girlfriend. They probably didn’t want anything to do with him. He had gained himself a reputation. 
Many girls pegged him to be a heart breaker, seeing as he rejected any girl who asked him out. But that was nothing personal, he just didn’t want to be a in relationship then. He didn’t mean anything by it, and he certainly didn’t want to hurt the girls. 
But not everyone is as understanding.
“Okay new plan,” You speak. “Neighboring university area!” 
“Huh?”
“Dude, everyone here like runs when they see you. Lets go somewhere where no one knows you!”
“Okay but if they don’t know me.. how will I get them to come camping with me?!”
He makes a valid point. 
You lean your head back into his seat and groan. Beating your brain, you decide to take a breather. “Lets go eat lunch, there we can converge a plan.”
“Why did you say that last part so weird?” He laughs. “Mad scientist vibes.”
“Shut up.” You retaliate, punching him in the arm. “Just for that, I get to pick where we eat.”
-
Shoving the roll into your mouth, you bask in the glorious taste. “This is so good.” 
“Slow down there, you might choke.”
“Okay mom.”
He laughs at your comment and stares at the menu, trying to get his order ready by the time the waiter comes by. 
“Jeno?” You hear, causing you to look up from the basket of bread you were admiring.
You’re met with a girl, probably around your age, smiling widely at Jeno.
“Sumin? Is that you?” He asks, returning a smile. 
You look between the two of them confusedly. You were sure she didn’t go to your university. How did Jeno know her? 
“Uh, This is Sumin. We met a couple years ago at camp.” He explains. Then going to introduce you to Sumin as his friend, to which you nod at, offering her a smile.
You suddenly reminded about when Jeno’s parents used to send him off to camp every summer back in high school. Rendering you to spend your summers full of Jaemin. You’re not sure why Jeno went anyways. Something about keeping him out of trouble. Though if there were girls as beautiful as Sumin there, you’re sure he got into more trouble. 
As you let them talk, you notice Sumin seems to be leaning into Jeno a lot. That’s like a surefire sign of attraction. 
Then a light bulb pops into your head. “Sumin, you two met at camp? You must like the outdoors and such then?” You interrupt.
“Oh yes!,” She smiles. “I loved sleeping under the stars, and kayaking! Oh, and the random games they used to make us play!” 
‘Well,” You start, looking at Jeno. Hoping he knew where you were going with this. “We’re actually going camping with a couple of friends soon.”
“Oh, really?” She says nodding.
You look to Jenos face, hoping to gauge a reaction. He doesn’t look uncomfortable or anything, so now was your chance.
“We actually are looking for a couple more people. You should join us!” 
The statement hangs in the air as she thinks, “Oh I don’t know, I can’t intrude!”
“No no, you wont be intruding! You can even share a tent with Jeno.” And you turn towards him, silently hoping he’d encourage her.
It seems he gets the hint. “Yeah, I don’t mind. It’ll be like old times.”
You smile. “Give her your number so she can ask about the details!”
Thank goodness you were here to help. He really did suck at this.
The two bid each other goodbye soon after, Sumin promising to text him later. You just grin widely at his success. “We found you a girl! And its only been a week!” 
He just stays quiet. “Hooray for us.” 
“Whats wrong?” You ask, finding his quietness odd. 
“I don’t know, Sumin’s nice.”
“But..?”
“No but’s, shes nice.” And with that the waiter arrives. Leaving that to be pushed to the back of your mind as you focus on what you’re going to order.
The plan was a success. That much was sure. Especially when you went and showed all your friends pictures of Sumin. You spilling how she looked more stunning in real life, and how Jeno would be bringing the prettiest girl to the event.
To which prompted Haechan to object, “Whatever, wait till you see my date.”
“Who are you bringing?” Mark perks up, genuinely curious. 
Haechan gestures towards you, throwing his arm over you shoulder. To which you aggressively shake off. “Nice try, find someone else.” 
“Why? It’s not like you have anyone to bring.” 
You stay quiet, smirking.
“You found someone?!” Haechan presses on. “Who is he?”
It’s a surprise, is what you say. 
They roll their eyes at you, not believing your words for one second, even as you press on that its true.
Though you know truthfully, you have yet to find anyone. You were so wrapped up in your determination to get Jeno a date that you had forgotten to get your own. In fact, today had been weird that you hadn't been with Jeno the whole day. You liked spending time with him. But now the focus was on you.
You had time though, so it’s not like you were worried.
Jeno doesn’t know why, but hes dying to know who you’re bringing. He’s also relieved to see that you’re not falling into Haechan’s advances. But whoever you’re bringing could be undoubtedly worse, so he tries not to get his hopes up.
“Oh also, Jaemin mentioned to me that we need to go shopping for supplies soon.” Mark states, looking down to put his fork back into the salad he was eating.
“I’m down, just let me know when.” You nod, shopping with the boys was always fun anyways. Even if it meant spending two and a half hours in a Bass Pro Shop.
“Yeah well make sure you ask your date if he has any particular request for food.” Renjun speaks, taking his attention off his food for a second. 
“I’ll do you one better, I’ll bring my date.”
Okay, maybe you shouldn't have said that. But what was with the boys and insinuating you didn’t have a date?
You were going to make them eat their words.
“Great, can’t wait to meet him.” Haechan smirks.
-
And just like you thought, it had come back to bite you.
Instead of having a week left, you now have to obtain a boy by this weekend. (And somehow drag him to a camping store with you.) 
So, out of defenses, you hesitantly asked your co-worker Sungchan.
You two were friends, having grown accustomed to long shifts together and defending each other from the occasional shitty costumer. Plus, you’d much rather take him then some random guy you caught on Tinder or Instagram.
“Camping? Is it like a weekend thing or?”
You nod, hoping he’ll agree.
“You want me to spend two of my precious days off, in the middle of the woods? With a bunch of strangers, bugs, and canned food?” 
Your shoulders deflate, pursing your mouth into a thin line. “Yes?”
“I’m down.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah, sounds like an adventure.” He shrugs. 
You clap excitedly, “My precious Sungchan, you also have to come to Bass Pro Shop with me.”
He groans, “Whatever, I already agreed.”
And he makes good on his promise, picking you up from your place and coming to the store. 
Jaemins the only one there at the designated time, saying something about the others being on the way. So you just make small talk as the rest gradually arrive. Jaemins quick to fall into conversation with the other, which is a good sign.
Jeno and Haechan arrive together, the latter making a commotion of your date.
“So this is the one?” Haechan says, not-so-subtly scanning over Sungchan’s body.
“Quit checking him out!” You whine. Noting how Haechan was trying to feel up on Sungchans arms. Looking like he was about to snatch him for himself.
You weren’t dumb, you know Sungchan’s good looking, he’s never been shy about saying it either. And you can tell the boys were astounded he even showed, not to mention how undeniably attractive he was.
But you don’t expect him to get along with everyone so well. Thirty minutes in and he was already on Mark and Jaemin’s good side. The two aren’t particularly difficult to please, but you were surprised to see that he had won over Renjun and Chenle.
The rest of the boys got along with him fine, minus Jeno.
He was acting really weird about the whole thing. The least friendly to Sungchan, and just overall had a short fuse with him. He had probably sensed something off about him, which you found to be weird.
So in the middle of the fishing rod aisle,(You guys didn’t even need one), You pulled him aside from the rest of the group. Wanting to get down to the root of the problem, because you weren't the only one who had noticed. Jisung had even remarked how Jeno seemed to be in a bad mood, but he was talking to everyone else just fine, so it seemed Sungchan was the problem.
“Is everything ok?” You ask, eyes full of worry. “You’ve been shooting Sungchan dirty looks the whole time.”
He stays quiet, pretending to be interested in some product on the aisle end cap. “I don’t know what you mean.” 
“Don’t act stupid Jeno.” You warn, “What’s wrong?”
“Just not a fan of him.” He shrugs, turning to walk back towards the group. 
You just shake it off, it wasn’t you problem. Jeno was your friend yes, but if he was going to act indifferent about this, then so be it. You had your own things to worry about. 
Going back to Sungchan’s side, you tap his shoulder. He was listening to Mark ramble on about a fishing line, you once again point out how you don’t need any type of fishing gear. Mark just ignores you and starts shoving reels in Renjun’s face, much to the latter’s displeasure. 
“Your friends are cool.” Sungchan speaks, “They seem to like me.”
“Told you they were fun!” You tease, glad he was making a good first impression. If things kept going good, maybe you could invite Sungchan around more often. He did always mention that he’d like more friends. 
Jeno’s face sours as he watches from afar. You leaning into Sungchan, had you always been so touchy? He shakes his head and turns away.
About thirty minutes later, you’re all ready to head to checkout. Thankful you had another set of arms to help carry the cooler and sleeping bags you were buying. 
Placing the stuff down, you laugh. “This much for two days?”
“Haechan’s sleeping bag caught on fire last time, remember?” Chenle comments. You do remember, it was not pretty. 
Sungchan looks confused and you explain, recalling that Haechan was laying too close to the fire long after everyone else had gone to bed. Remembering that it wasn’t just him in the sleeping bag as well.. 
Haechan stops you from recanting the whole thing, saying how he’d beat you up if you boyfriend wasn’t right there. You scoff at the accusation and Sungchan laughs. But everyone catches on to how you two don’t outright deny it.
You weren’t thinking too much, not even noticing how neither of you had said no. Sungchan was cool, and sure you had thought of him that way before, but he was definitely not your boyfriend right now. You didn’t shy away from the prospect though, and it seemed like he didn’t either. 
Jeno’s brows furrow, you two were a thing? He thought you guys were just friends, he turns away, not wanting to look at you two any longer. He didn’t know why, but he felt somewhat possessive of you. And he definitely did not like Sungchan. 
You all walk out of the store, proud of your successful trip when Renjun suggests you all go out to dinner. You nervously smile, “Sungchan and I were actually planning to watch a movie at my place.” 
“Nice,” Haechan smiles, “Let’s meet at yours then!” 
You groan, and the others just teasingly smile at you, knowing that was not what you had meant. “As long as someones buying snacks cause I don’t have shit.”
“On it!” Jaemin responds, already in his car. 
That’s how you find yourselves all back at your place, an improper movie night to commence after Jisung and Chenle stop fighting over what movie to watch.
Heading to the kitchen for some chips, you’re met with only Jeno in there. Digging through a bag of Jolly Ranchers for his favorite. 
“I ate all the cherry ones.” You say, poking at his shoulders, knowing he loved those as much as you did.
He smiles, not responding. Until he pulls out one, a cherry one. You perk up at that, you thought you had eaten all of them ages ago.
“Oh, for me? Thanks.” Sarcasm donning your voice, but still going to reach for it anyways.
He snatches it back, “Go ask Sungchan for one.” Jealousy seemingly apparent in his voice, confusing you.
“You suck.” You state bluntly, until he unwraps the candy and places it in front of your mouth. 
“Want it?” He asks, gesturing it more towards you, eyebrows raised.
You narrow your eyes, “..Yes.”
“Open wide then.” 
You scrunch your nose, he wanted to feed it to you? ‘No thanks.” Is all you say before walking away.
But then you feel a hand clasp around your wrist, turning you back. Jeno stares at you blankly, then repeating. “I said open.”
Curiously, you open your mouth slightly. Just enough to get the candy. Jeno brings the cherry flavored candy to your lips. He smirks, grabbing your chin, he holds you in place. “Wider,” He commands, and you follow. 
He slips the candy in, along with two of his fingers, and you close your lips around them. He stares at you, and you look down at the floor. You had never seen this side of Jeno before, the Jeno you knew always carefree and smiling, far different from the one in front of you. You were a bit scared but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a bit turned on.
With newly acquired confidence, you shove his fingers farther into your mouth. His eyes widen and you gag, the candy hitting the back of your throat. But you progress, slowly sliding your mouth off his fingers, releasing them with a pop.
Swirling the rest of the candy in your mouth, you smile. “Mm yummy.”
Though your hearts beating like crazy, shivering at the close proximity between you and Jeno. He walks forward, backing you into the counter. You two just stare at each other, and you swear he’s about to lean in. Until the sound of approaching footsteps is heard.
You and Jeno separate, you going back to your mission for chips and him to pour a glass of water. Trying to steady your nerves and not give away to the person what the two of you were doing.
Sungchan pokes his head into the area, “Hey we decided on a movie, I left you a spot next to me.”
You grin, “Okay, let’s go.”
Watching you leave the area with your hand around Sungchan’s bicep, Jeno wants to puke.
In fact, his urge to vomit only gets stronger as he continues to watch you cuddle up to the other boy all night. After the little display earlier, you still had the nerve to hang onto Sungchan? 
The movies a devastatingly long one, some of the boys filtering out before its even ended. Mark mutters something about how its getting late, wanting to leave before he passes out on your tiny love seat.
And just like that, only four of you remain. Jaemin’s strewn out on the floor, fast asleep, as is Sungchan on the arm of your sofa. You and Jeno are the only one’s still awake, though you’re unable to move as Sungchan constantly stirs in his sleep. 
The last thing you want to do is wake him, but his phone does just that. Vibrating in his pocket, he lazily opens his eyes. Seeing the time as well, he shoots up, “Shit, I have to go.” He says, eyes widening as he heads towards the front of your place, grabbing his jacket and searching for his shoes. 
He bids you goodbye and you make him promise to text you when he gets home safely, to which he agrees with a smile. “Have a good night.” He says, kissing your forehead before heading out the door. 
You grin at the kiss, watching as he makes his way out. 
Jaemin’s snoring knocks you out of your trance, closing the door behind you.
Jeno appears in the hall, “I can drag him home.” He suggests.
Shaking your head, you look over at him. He did seem rather comfortable on your floor. “He seems fine. I’ll get him a blanket.” 
Jeno nods and fishes for his keys on your counter. “It’s late, I’ll head out.”
“Jaemin’s staying, why don’t you just stay too?” You ask. It was a completely normal thing for the boys to stay over, they were all welcomed to any time. You know the others left just from desire to sleep comfortably in their own beds.
Jeno and Jaemin were no strangers to staying the night either, the three of you hung out often late into the night. You don’t know why Jeno was in a hurry to leave anyways, he would normally just agree to crash on your couch.
“I don’t know..” He trails. 
“Why not?” You sputter, confused as your patience for his attitude began to grow thin. “You’ve been acting weird all day! What’s got you all hot and bothered?!” 
“You really wanna know?” He asks, condescendingly. Like you should know what you did wrong. 
“Do I? Yes I would like to know what has had you being an asshole all day!”
He just laughs at that, only causing you to get more annoyed. Contemplating if to tell the truth or not, he watches you grow more impatient. 
“I just don’t like Sungchan.”
“Well no shit,” You throw your hands up. “You already told me!”
He shrugs in defeat, like it was no big deal he had been so rude to him.
“I just wanna know why!” You speak again.
“I could tell you.” He says, inching closer. “But I could show you a lot better.”
“What?” You’re cut off by Jeno pulling you into a kiss. Completely surprised by the turn of events, but you welcome it. His hands finding their way into your hair.
You pull away, “Jeno, what are we doing?” And you meant it. What was this sudden behavior? Would this ruin your friendship? Could you two be normal after this? Was he even going to go all the way?
“Tell me to stop.” He whispers indifferently. “Tell me you don’t want this.” 
“Jaemin’s in the living room.” You caution, scared to wake him, though you ignore Jenos statement. “But I want this.”
“Then we better take this to your room.” 
And the moment you nod in agreement, he pulls you away to your bedroom. You two stumbling as he attempts to kiss you on the way there. He closes the door behind you, pushing you against it as he meets your mouth again.
It’s messy and uncoordinated, his sheer desire for you taking over. Teeth clashing and tongues strewn. He pulls back from the kiss and begins fervently attacking your neck.
“Please Jeno,” You whine, aching for him to continue. “Need you.”
“To what?” He teases, lifting up from your neck.
You want to scream. Of course he was going to make you say it, this was Jeno you were talking to. And he truly wanted nothing more than to hear the words slip past your mouth.
“Touch me.” You beg, wishing he would cut it out with the teasing.
“Where?” He continues. Moving his hands down your body, “Here?”
You shake your head, “N-No.”
You grab his hand bravely and place it on the front of your pants. He begins rubbing you through your jeans, the fabric roughly brushing up against you.
“I wanna hear you say it.” He smiles, “That you want me to touch you. And not Sungchan.”
You roll your eyes, he was still on about this? Sungchan was the last thing on your mind right now, the first being your aching wetness and Jeno’s stubbornness to relieve it. 
“W-want,” You stutter as he begins to unzip your pants, “Want you to touch me.”
“Mhmm,” He nods. “Because you’re mine.”
You whimper at the contact of his hands rubbing you through your panties. Attempting to suppress a moan from falling past your lips. His possessiveness was such a turn on to you, and you didn’t even know why.
“So wet,” He comments, “Just from a little kissing. Are you sure I’m the one who’s never been in a relationship?”
Annoyed, you turn away blushing, “Shut up.”
Jeno just chuckles as you press against his shoulders, signaling for him to stop. “Wait, don’t wanna do it against the wall. Want to be on the bed.”
“So demanding.” 
And with that, he moves you to lay down on your bed. He beings kissing you again, tugging at the hem of your shirt and you raise your hands to let him remove it off you. Although you had taken note that Jeno was still fully clothed. 
“Not fair, you should take off your shirt.” You pout, and he rushes to take it off, revealing his chiseled body to you. You gawk at him in his shirtless glory, upset you hadn’t thought to see it sooner, well at least you were seeing it now.
“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.” He teases again, going to kiss you before you can spout some smart remark.
He recedes back, lowering himself down to be met with your dripping cunt. He slides your panties down, slowly pulling them off your ankles with his teeth. You prop yourself up on your elbows to see, and you had to admit, its hot.
Jeno nibbles on your thigh, eliciting a yelp from you before he starts rubbing his thumb over your folds. “All for me.” He smirks proudly. 
Sticking his tongue out, he licks a thin stripe on your clit, you letting out a loud string of moans. “Jeno- Please.” 
He moves to stick a finger in, you clenching harshly around it. 
“So tight.” He hisses, adding another finger in. Causing you to wail out in pleasure. It felt so good, you hadn’t been touched in a while. 
He continues like this, whispering praises into your ear as he seems indifferent, “You’re doing so well, sucking my fingers into this pretty cunt.”
You’re feeling the coil in your stomach, embarrassingly close to cumming at the brutal pace of his fingers inside you, when he slips them out. 
“Want you to cum on my tongue.” He explains before you can even protest.
Nodding, you’re met with his mouth back on your clit, his tongue harshly lapping against you. You unconsciously reach for his hair, pulling strongly on it, causing him to let out a moan against your heat. 
“Pull harder.” He demands, and you oblige. One hand in his hair and the other gripping your sheets. Your hips start to lift off the bed in pleasure, as he holds you down by your legs, your shaking form struggling to stay still. 
“Jeno, Please, please I’m so close,” You plead as he continues to eat you out like a starved man. 
“Do it baby, cum for me.” He assures, and you moan at his words. The affect he had on you was insane. You had never been so shaken up over getting head before.  
You reach your climax shortly after, a wave of white washing over you as you let out a final string of moans. Jeno’s movements barely even faltering as you finish on his face. 
He pulls away, moving to stand up and goes to wash his face in your connected bathroom. You’re a bit put off by his sudden change in mood, but you calm your breathing and start searching for your bottoms on the floor, as well as your shirt.
Jeno emerges from the bathroom and you silently hand him his shirt, when you notice he’s sporting a complete boner. 
“You look like you could use some help.” You announce, smirking. 
He shakes his head though, “I can take care of this at home.”
Huh? What was he talking about? 
“Let me return the favor.” You state, “I’m eager to please.” 
But he remains the same, “It’s fine.”
And he walks past you, opening the door out of your room. Leaving you more than just a little confused. Was he regretting what happened? Why wouldn’t he accept your offer to touch him? What kind of guy turns down head? 
You avoid eye contact. “Oh.. Ok. Have a safe trip home.”
You want the earth to crack open and swallow you whole. He nods and makes his way past a sleeping Jaemin and out your front door. 
Not wanting to be alone, you sit on the other couch opposite of your friend. 
That’s when he sits up. “You two are so gross.”
“You were awake?” You ask, mouth agape. 
“You guys woke me! Maybe try and keep it down next time!” He scolds, until he notices the look on your face. “Is something wrong? Did you not want to do it?”
You wave your hands, “No! No, I did. It’s just that when I offered to do something for him, he rejected me. I don’t know- I feel gross.”
He shakes his head, “Jeno’s like that, he doesn’t know how to express his feelings, I’m sorry he made you feel that way.”
You just nod, “Please don’t tell anyone about this.” And he agrees, swearing to not say a word, and you couldn’t have been more grateful. 
-
You ignore Jeno for the next couple of days, purposefully. Whether it was to save yourself from embarrassment, or from your feelings? You didn’t know.
You wish you hadn’t acted so carelessly, to let yourself get carried away in his bliss, knowing you could never have him in the way you wanted.
You were also unsure of how Jeno would react to being around you after that. You didn’t even know if you would be confident in your actions around him. Would you be able to look him in the eye? Or even worse, what if he had told your friends? What if Jaemin had, despite his swearing to secrecy? 
Haechan would be a nightmare.
But you push those thoughts to the back of your mind as Sungchan calls for your attention. You two were at your place, packing for the trip. Water bottles and his awful trail mix bars being shoved in your backpacks.
You were leaving today, you breathe in. A weekend you were looking forward to how now left you unsure. But if worse came to worse, Sungchan would be there.
Over the past couple of days, you had done a lot of thinking. Not just about you and Jeno, but about the other boys as well. 
You realized that you and Sungchan were nothing beyond a clingy pair of friends, and that’s all you felt for him, a sense of friendship. Whatever uncertainty you had was gone. You knew he didn’t make you feel the way Jeno did. And it wasn’t just because of the interaction either.
You had feelings for Jeno, that was certain. 
You assume you’ve had them for a while too, it wasn’t until you sat down and acknowledged that you would consider a relationship with him, did you realize. 
But it was all too much, too fast. 
Engaging in those activities with him, knowing he likely only saw you as a friend? Too much to bear. So you knew you had to keep your distance from him as far as possible. You knew these feelings were likely to pass too, you just had to wait it out. 
Because if there was something else you realized, it was that he didn’t feel the same. And why would he? You weren’t anything like the girls he’s gone for. You weren’t anything like Sumin. Not to mention his reluctance to let you touch him, (which was the root of your embarrassment), after he had eaten you out. You understood he just wanted to have a little fun with you, nothing more. 
Plus, if his past record of no girlfriends meant anything, it was that he couldn’t be bothered to be tied down. So you weren’t going to begin to feed into the delusional idea that he could be your boyfriend, it would only just end up hurting you that much more.
Sungchan pulls you from your thoughts as he announces its time to leave, and you smile. He helps you pack your things into the car and you two shake with enthusiasm during the entire thirty minute ride. Though you’re not looking forward to hiking the rest of the way to the campsite; A necessary evil.
Sungchan doesn’t complain too much though, smiling as he reads off the printed map for directions. You didn’t get much service out here, and you weren’t going to take any chances getting lost. 
It didn’t help that you two were late, noting that all your friends had arrived by the time you reached the sites with your tents and backpacks in tow. 
You see Jaemin and his girl sitting on logs, whispering something into each others ear as they giggle. Her legs resting over his lap. 
To their right is Renjun and Chenle arguing over something random, with their respective dates behind them, both looking extremely confused.
Mark is setting up a tent with his date, Jisung and his date helping them hold the poles steadily. Mark stumbling as he trips over one of the mounts.
Haechan emerges from his tent upon the others announcing your arrival, saying something about his date being passed out in their tent. 
Jeno and Sumin are no where to be found, and you try not to ask about it. 
Though, Jaemin approaches you the minute Sungchan leaves your side. “They went exploring. Whatever that means.” He speaks, and you don’t even have to ask him who he’s talking about. 
You just nod and ask him for a drink. “You’ve been here for five minutes!” He recoils, like he can’t believe you asked him that. 
“Well its unfair of you to expect me to tolerate Haechan for an entire weekend without a drink.” You tease, the aforementioned male coming to whine.
Sungchan returns with two drinks in hand, you thanking him as he passes you one. He then places his hand on the small of your back, the boys in front of you not missing a beat. 
“Woah, did you two hook up or something?” Haechan speaks, never one to censor himself.
“None of your business.” You mumble, though you know the two of you hadn't.
“Oo, don’t let Jeno see!” Jisung warns as he passes by.
“Jeno?” Sungchan perks up, “What about him?”
Haechan and Jaemin just look at the each other, “Nothing.”
And with that, the boys leave you and Sungchan. 
The two of you deciding to go sit on logs of your own before you have set up your own tent. The silences of the trees swaying overtaking you.
“So,” He starts. “You wanna sleep with me this weekend?”
You almost spit out your drink. “What?”
“We don’t have to!” He retracts. “I just figured.. maybe you’d want to?”
“Sung, we’re friends and we work together. Won’t this make things weird?”
“It doesn’t have to happen again if you don’t want it to. Just thought I’d put it out there.” He shrugs, like it was all so simple. “You’re hot, I’m hot. We’re both single. Both sexually frustrated. So why not?”
You look to the ground, “I don’t know..”
“Actually, I’m sorry I asked, I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
You didn’t feel pressured though, and Sungchan was somewhat right. You did invite him out here with a inkling of hope that maybe you could bed him. Who wouldn’t want to anyways? You hadn't had sex in a while, and your attractive friend was ready and willing. So what if you had feelings for Jeno? They would pass. You should have a little fun. Fuck it. 
“Okay,” You speak. “I’d like that.”
He smiles, “Perfect.”
You’re about to respond when you hear the crunching of leaves behind you, Jeno and Sumin emerging from the bushes, hand in hand. 
Were the two together? You feel your smile falter a bit before you look away, Jeno didn’t owe you anything. And you knew the type of guy he was, who was to say he was going to even commit to Sumin? 
“There you two are!” Renjun says walking towards them. “Thought you’d gotten ravaged by a bear!”
“Oh, Jeno ravaged something..” Haechan comments, suggestively. 
Jeno shakes his head at the insinuation, Sumin eyes flickering over to you. “Hey! You made it!” 
“Yes!” You say, moving to hug her. Then you notice her eyes landing on Sungchan, and she starts practically eye-fucking him proudly. And he looks somewhat into it? You see that Jeno notices too, as he wavers his attention. 
“This is Sungchan.” You say, as she moves to introduce herself to him. 
“I’m Sumin! Jeno’s friend.” 
The air grows heavy as she says that, Jeno looking dejected and everyone else looking confused. So they weren’t together then?
You just shrug, going to bother Mark and his date, who still can’t get the tent up. “Need help?”
Mark’s date looks at you in relief, “Please! Mark told his other friend that we could do it.. but we’re having a hard time..”
“I got you,” You speak, noticing something off. “He’s doing it wrong.”
Mark sighs, “Damn,” He looks down. “You had to call me out in front of my date. I’m gonna go tell Sungchan about the time you threw up in Renjun’s mouth.”
“Don’t you dare!” You say, moving to chase after Mark as he begins running in the opposite direction, tent long forgotten. “You’re lying!” 
“No I’m not! Haechan was there too!” 
“I was where?” Haechan yells, wondering what all the commotion is.
You and Mark stop, hands on your knees as you pant out. Tired from chasing the boy around in circles, you try and catch your breath. 
“Don’t,” Pant. “Listen,” Pant. “To him.”
“Remember that night we played spin the bottle?” Mark begins, still breathless.
The others begin to gather around, drawn to the scene by Haechans loud voice. “Yeah I do.” He starts. “When you and I kissed?”
“You what?!” Jaemin exclaims, “Wait, why was I not invited?”
“Haechan and I did not kiss!” Mark laughs, and you giggle, knowing full well that he was lying to save face.
Haechan shrugs, “Whatever you say.”
“The point is that Renjun got thrown up on.” 
Renjun cringes, “I don’t like to think about that.”
“Wait by who?” Jeno asks, not amused.
“By her!” Mark says, wagging his finger at you. “Damn near threw up in Renjun’s mouth, she pulled away just in time.”
“You kissed Renjun?” Jeno asks, surprise evident on his face. 
You ignore him, what was the big deal anyways? It was spin the bottle, you were all drunk, and it landed on you and Renjun. Who cares?
“Mark that happened months ago!” You protest, “I didn’t know my limits.”
“It should’ve been me!” Haechan whines, faking a wound to his chest.
“You wanted to get thrown up on? Or to kiss Renjun?” Mark asks, and it was definitely a necessary question but Haechan just flips him off as he walks away.
The others just laugh and you turn to walk away but are stopped by Jeno pulling you aside. He drags you a few steps into the trees, far enough from everyone else that you two could have a private conversation. 
“Who all have you kissed?” He asks. 
“Huh?” 
“Answer the question.”
“No, I don’t want to.” You state, confused on his attitude. “You’ve got some nerve to come over here and ask me that, considering how bitchy you’ve been.”
“Me? You’re the one who’s acting childish and ignoring me.”
“So what?” You spout. “And why do you care who I’ve kissed anyways?”
“I don’t.” He says, “I guess I just thought I was the first one of us to kiss you.”
“Oh,” You say, fire rising in your chest. “So that makes me worth less to you? Knowing I’ve kissed Mark, Renjun, and Jaemin before I kissed you?”
“No it doesn’t.” He replies. “But it does make me jealous.”
You scoff, “Jealous? You have no right, especially not after you left me all confused the other day! You made me feel like I did something wrong.”
“What are you talking about?” 
“You just walked out. Was I that disgusting that you didn’t want me to touch you? You made me feel like shit when you left like that. I don’t deserve to feel that way.” 
“Woah woah,” He stops you. “Back it up, disgusting? You’ve got it all wrong.”
“Well what was I supposed to think?”
He’s silent for a moment as he tries to think of what to say. “That’s not why I walked out. The truth is, I didn’t want you to feel pressured, and I felt like I was pushing boundaries and-”
“I said I wanted it, I wanted nothing more than to touch you after that and you just blew me off.” You state. “It’s like you pulled me in to just push me away.”
“I’m so sorry,” He apologies, “I had no idea you felt that way.”
“Jeno,” You start, here goes nothing. “I have to be transparent with you, okay?”
“Okay..” He trails.
You couldn’t do this anymore, you couldn’t pretend. 
“Please don’t lead me on anymore. I have feelings for you, and it hurts for you to act like this with me.” Your chest weighs heavy and you await his response.
“You have feelings for me?”
“Don’t make me say it again.” You mumble, unable to make eye contact with the male beside you. You had thought it was completely obvious.
“I do too.”
You look up at him, “What?”
“Why do you think I asked for your help in the first place?”
“Because you needed a date?” You ask, confused.
He smiles, “My plan was never to get another date. I was hoping maybe at the end, I could just ask you. But then we ran into Sumin, and you found Sungchan and it all happened so fast, I just lost hope.” 
“I’m jealous knowing that our other friends have kissed you before, because I always imagined I’d be the first. In a world where I wasn’t too much of a pussy to ask you out.” Jeno continues, crunching sticks beneath his feet. “Instead I thought this stupid idea could get me somewhere. I was an idiot to think you wouldn’t have a date in the palm of your hand awaiting your call.”
You stay silent as he gathers his thoughts. He leans against a tree, “I’ve never had a girlfriend because I’ve been waiting for you, all the guys know and that’s why the tease me.”
Your head is spinning, that was why? He didn’t date other girls because of you? This couldn’t be true, how had you not seen it all this time?
“Well, more like waiting for me to grow the balls to ask you out. ‘Cause the time never felt right. But now, seeing you with Sungchan, seeing the way he looks at you. It felt like if I didn’t do something now, I’d lose you. But I acted even worse, and I made you think I didn’t like you in the process. I’m sorry, I’ve acted like a total jerk, but I won’t you let you go another minute thinking I don’t want you.”
You’re speechless at his confession, everything made sense now. Why he was so reluctant with Sumin. Why he really didn’t like Sungchan. It all fell together.
“Jeno,” You smile. “Just kiss me.” 
And he does, but it’s different this time. It’s slow and passionate, like a kiss is supposed to be. It’s not messy and needy like before, no it’s the opposite.
But it felt right, it felt better. 
“Tell me honestly,” He says as he pulls away, going to stroke your hair. “Am I a better kisser than Jaemin?”
Mood ruined.
You hit his chest, “Are you serious? You finish kissing the life out of me and then you ask me that? Romance is dead.” 
He laughs, but you can tell he’s still awaiting your response. “In all fairness, I can’t really say. That night was embarrassing. I took his shirt off and then we cringed and vowed to never speak of it again.” 
“So you’re not in love with Renjun, Mark, or Jaemin?” He asks, for clarification. 
“No, I swear.” You tease. “You’re the only idiot I’m dumb enough to like. But who’s to say that you’re not in love with Sumin?” 
“Sumin? How much do you want to bet that her and Sungchan are hooking up right now.” Jeno asks, and you had completely forgot about Sungchan.
“Oh no! Sungchan!” 
“What?”
“Sungchan expected to come out here and get laid.” You pause, nervous of Jeno’s reaction. 
But he seems understanding. “I had the same agreement with Sumin.”
Before you can respond, his eyes widen. “But you’re not going to anymore right?”
“No!” Rolling your eyes you look away. Though you smirk as you tug on his belt loop. “But do you plan on letting me get your pants off tonight?”
“Wow, you’re horny.” 
“Shut up!” You pout, “Come on, lets go out there and hope that our dates decided they like each other more than us.” 
Jeno nods his head and follows suit, the two of you returning from the trees to find some of the boys building a fire. 
“It’s not even dark.” You quirk an eyebrow.
“No but Chenle has an app that says sunset is in an hour.” Jaemin responds. Poor boy never knows what’s going on. “Anyways, where are yall’s dates? I thought you were with them.”
“No?” Jeno questions, furrowing his eye brows. 
“Oh, well they disappeared like twenty minutes ago.” 
You and Jeno look at each other, mentally celebrating. You’re glad that Sungchan had found some way to get laid this weekend, maybe not in the way he expected but, a win is a win. “You two look suspicious, whats going on? Please try and keep it down if you two decide to get freaky again.”
Jeno looks shocked at that, “You know?”
“I was there, and you two weren’t exactly quiet.” Jaemin deadpans, nose scrunching as he recalls the nights events. “You were all ‘Mmm yes so tight.’ I wanted to die.”
Oh god, he had heard all that? Why didn’t Jeno look embarrassed? You wanted to melt.
“Well,” Jeno says, pulling you closer to him by your waist. “There’s more where that came from, maybe try and wear earplugs.”
Your face grows hot as Jaemin starts complaining, “So what, are you two together now or?”
And a glint of hope appears in your eyes, “I’d like to be your girlfriend, you know. Your first.” You tease.
Jeno grins, “And I’d love to be your boyfriend.”
Jaemin gags at the scene, “Quit being gross and come help me start this fire.”
Your now-boyfriend Jeno moves to help Jaemin, Haechan approaching the three of you. “Woo! I heard from back there! Congrats Jeno!”
Chuckling, Jeno looks over at you, proud to know that you were officially his.
Though Renjun approaches the scene, “What about the others? Sungchan and whats-her-name?” 
“Sumin.” You correct. “I don’t even know, they ran off apparently.”
“Wait, just to clarify.” Jeno speaks up. “We’re kicking them out of our tents right?”
“Duh.”
-
The night comes shortly after. All of you, including your former dates, gathered around the campfire. And you’re glad to see Sungchan looks smitten with Sumin, you shooting him a thumbs up as he sees Jeno’s hand on your thigh.
He knew the entire time, he wasn’t stupid, he was just waiting for the two of you to realize. 
Seems like you were the only one who didn’t know of Jeno’s feelings for you.
The boys steadily trickle out, retreating to the comfort of their tents. Tired and red eye looking, but as you hear noises out of Haechan’s tent, you know they’re doing anything but sleeping.
You and Jeno bid the others goodnight, him helping you up and into the tent he so graciously put up himself. 
You giggle as he attempts to slip into his sleeping bag, “You don’t actually plan on sleeping do you?”
He looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” You say, grinning slyly. “You still haven’t let me see what’s under the belt, baby.”
To be honest, you were really turned on by Jeno right now. Especially now, upon finding out he sleeps shirtless, you needed him so bad. Your mind couldn’t even think straight with him like this.
You’re cut from your daze at a loud moan that rips through the air, presumably coming from another tent. “Freaks.” You scoff, acting like you’re different.
A smile happens upon Jeno’s face. “I bet we can be louder.”
Grinning back, you feel yourself getting wetter. “Challenge accepted.”
He starts kissing up on your neck, making your arousal leak out even more. You’re set in his lap, grinding against him, and you can feel him hard under you.
You had to get those sweats off. 
You were a little shaky undoing his pants, his cock pretty in the light. Long and with a bulging vein on the underside. You moan at the sight of it, not wanting to wait to get it inside you. 
And there’s not a single regret donning your tongue as you lap up Jeno’s thick cock. Precum was gathered at the base, pink and glistening. And it looked so good, too good even. 
He moans out in ecstasy, truly not caring who heard. He thought this was the hottest thing ever, he had dreamed of this for so long, and now he was allowing himself to have it. To revel in you and you pretty eyes that looked up at him as you gag around him. All of it was nearly enough to finish him.
“No no, stop. Don’t wanna cum yet.” He pleads, but you barely let up. His hands resting on your head, unconsciously pushing it down. Until he gains strength to pull you off, bringing you up to meet his mouth.  Jeno had waited too long for this for him to cum without being inside you first. 
He pulls you into a messy kiss, tongues clashing and saliva dripping out. He fondles your breasts through your shirt, then moves to pull at the hem.
“Off.” He begs, and you oblige. His mouth immediately lands on your nipple, latching his hand onto the other, twisting and sucking fervently. 
“S-So good.” You let out, loving the way he was treating you. But you were impatient, and you had enough of the teasing.
“Need you in me Jeno..” You whine, pouting as he ignores you. He stays how he is for a few more seconds until he releases you from his mouth. 
He quickly goes to remove his bottoms fully, as well as yours. And you felt your wetness pooling by the second. “I can’t wait anymore, need to fuck you.”
And you’re glad, as you watch him line up his pretty cock with your entrance, you were sure you could finish from the sight alone. 
“Fuck..” He moans out, throwing his head back in pleasure as he slips into you. Wet and warm, he never wants to leave. He bottoms out, tip hitting your cervix as he asks for permission to move and you nod your head, desperate. 
You loved the way he stretched you out, unable to hide the string of moans that left your mouth. He felt so good inside you as his tip kissed your g-spot with every thrust. 
He rubs his thumb on your clit as you moan even louder. “Yes! Don’t stop! Mm.”
“It’s always been you.” He chokes out. “Always wanted you under me like this.” And you can’t deny the heat that it sends straight to your core, causing you to clench around him. “Better than I could have imagined.”
He doesn’t let up, desire taking over him as he bullies his cock into your cunt at a brutal pace. He was truly unlike anyone you had ever been with before. 
He rubs his thumb on your clit as he thrusts into you, bringing you the most pleasure you’re sure you’ve felt in your life. 
He silences your moans with a kiss, swallowing them into his mouth. Your arms clawing at his back, which was sure to leave marks. He slows his thrusts and you can tell hes getting close. 
“It’s okay, I’m close too. Cum, cum inside.” 
His eyes widen as he hears your words, this was a dream come true. 
“I-” He sputters, shaking his head.
“I’m on the pill.” You interrupt. “Please Jeno, please, need your cum in me.”
You moan out that you’re close and he’s right behind you, spilling out his seed into you as you orgasm. Your climax coming on strongly, and you can feel your legs trembling. He bites his lip, grunting as he finishes as well, filling you to the brim. 
You and Jeno just heavily breathe, him laying on top you slightly before getting up to remove himself. If it were up to you though, you’d keep him in you all night. Though, Jeno was a man of good hygiene, first and foremost. 
You let out a wince as he slides out of you, the empty feeling settling over you. 
He grabs a water bottle and pours it into one of the towels in your tent, and you smile, thankful he was going to clean you up. He wipes around your sensitive areas and slips your bottoms on, you still out of breath. You get both of your clothes on and sorted, ready to sleep now.
You’re sharing a moment of silence when your tent starts shaking rapidly, the shadow of two people appearing as you realize its your friends messing with you.
“Could you two be any louder ?!”
“You’re disgusting!”
“Tent’s have thin walls, you know?!”
You just bury your face into Jeno’s chest, laughing at the commotion.
“Leave my girl and I alone!” Jeno shouts out playfully, caressing your head.
My girl?
You could get used to that. 
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