#needed to find god myself or anything like that

[mochie85]

House of Cards

These Wicked Games Collections | Complete Masterlist

Summary: You and Loki finally confront each other about your feelings and what went wrong. Suggested Song: "Fantasy" by The Driver Era Word Count: 2.9K Pairing: Loki x Female Reader Warnings: Smut. Dominating/Controlling Loki, Angry sex, rough sex.

Loki’s room was dark and humid. Thick waves of moisture rolled to you from his en suite, bringing with it the scent of his soap and aftershave. He must have taken a shower moments before movie night, you mused to yourself.

As the latch on his door clicked closed, the fireplace roared to life startling you. The heat from the fire only made his scent grow deep and heady. Warm yellow light canvased the room. You followed the flicker of the flames as your eyes took in Loki’s private chambers.

There you were…alone in his room. His sanctuary. A rare opportunity to sneak around and find out more about the intimidating god of mischief. Nothing had changed since that fateful night when you challenged him to Blackjack. That following morning, you were too hurt and busy trying to get out of the mortifying situation you walked yourself into to appreciate anything else.

His desk sat in the middle of the room, facing his bed. A house of cards was meticulously crafted on top— an elaborate pyramid of angles and shapes. Some cards, magically teetering on their corners. You had forgotten your deck that night, in a hurry to leave and lick your wounds from Loki’s casual opinion of your relationship with each other.

You reached out to take one— a discarded card lying on the bottom layer. You focused on the filigree and the cherub on the back cover, greeting you back.

“I thought I told you to wait for me on my bed?” His deep voice froze your movements, squeezing the air from your lungs. You turned quickly to find Loki, already closing the final steps to you.

“Loki, I-” He didn’t let you finish as he seized your lips and invaded your senses once again. His fingers laced themselves in your hair. His other hand pulled your shirt off from behind, popping your buttons, and exposing your breasts that were already spilling over your bra from his groping earlier.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, hoping to melt with him. You needed him closer. You needed his every being to get reacquainted with you. God, it's been so long.

His kiss was never-ending. He didn’t let you catch your breath, stealing your mouth every time you moved to inhale. His lips were so ravenous and demanding that it almost hurt. “…Loki…” you whined.

At long last, his fingers pulled your hair and brought your face up to meet his eyes. “You never do as you’re told, do you, darling? You never listen. Always worried about letting people inside.” His fist in your hair got tighter. His breath was hot and sweet; trying to hold back an emotion you had yet to work out. “Is that why you perfected your poker face? To hide the lies underneath?”

“What lies?!” you asked insulted and slightly afraid. “You lied to me! You used me just to play some game! Toying with me! Just entertainment for the night!” You tried to push him back, but his body was hard and unyielding. You pounded on his chest, trying to get away. But he trapped you in his arms and he wouldn’t let you go.

“You don’t listen! I have already told you, and yet you still pay no heed to my words! Do you even know how the last two weeks have been for me?” he said with a cold glare. “Torture! The moment you walked out of my bed, I started doubting myself. I started doubting you! I never thought you of all people would play me for a game like you do with your cards and tricks.”

He was furious! You had no idea how this would go, where Loki was going with his discourse. You knew Loki would never hurt you intentionally, but the look in his eyes was undoubtedly anger and pain. Not knowing terrified you and it also sent a thrill down your spine.

You had hurt him. You can see that now. He was affected as much as you were that night. You could see it in the unshed glimmer in his eyes. “You do care about me,” you realized.

“And what made you think I didn’t?” he demanded. His hold on you tightened. To be in his arms and to know that he was holding back so much of his godly strength. It hurt to almost breathe in his presence. But that was nothing compared to the guilt you felt inside. It hurt to know that you had assumed the worst of him and failed to communicate what you wanted. That you had missed out on two glorious weeks of being with him.

“You said you liked playing games. The way everything unfolded…I- I didn’t know what to think. I had no idea you even looked at me that way! And in mere hours I was splayed like a toy for you in your bed, Loki! What was I supposed to think?! How was I to know that I wasn’t just another conquest for you? That your confession was true?” you yelled back at him.

“Does this feel untrue to you!” he bucked his hips to yours, pushing you against his desk. You let out a carnal moan as you felt the length of him rub against your awaiting clit- throbbing to feel more of him, to be closer to him. The pyramid shook slightly behind you but remained standing. “Perhaps, you need a little reminder…” he growled as he kissed your lips boldly.

Blurring colors started to form and solidify in your head. Memories took shape as if they were tangible moving pictures.

~Loki growled. His fervor and desire ruling all rational thought. “I love that you’re intelligent,” he said as he flattened out his tongue and lapped the juices flowing from your cunt. “…Loki…” “I love how clever you are.” He said giving your sensitive clit a soft kiss. “I love how you’re willing to play my games.” He laughed as he kissed his way up your stomach. He knelt up on the bed, towering over your lustful figure beneath him. His eyes were wild taking in your heavy breathing, your glowing skin, and how utterly besotted you were when you looked at him. Your eyes were hooded and pleading, missing his tongue. Your mouth was open, ready to beg him to continue. “And by the Norns, you look absolutely sinful laying on my bed the way you are now.” He lined his hard cock at your entrance and slammed his way inside your tight folds.~

You felt him thrust towards your aching cunt, as if he was reliving the memory himself. The heavy force of his illusion pushed you back into reality. The house of cards gave way and fell behind you in one fell swoosh.

“You love me,” you whispered to yourself. Tears brimmed your lids as you looked at the truth in his eyes. The realization was heavy and thick; along with the guilt of invalidating his feelings.

Loki closed his eyes as he leaned in to rest his head on yours. He took a deep breath, relieved you had finally understood what he was trying to convey. Your fingers brushed through his silken hair, pulling him closer. Your lips apologized for you as you assailed his beautiful face with kisses. Softly, one after another. His fervid cheeks. His troubled eyes. His sharp chin. He felt each kiss as a prayer of penance asking for his forgiveness.

Your velvet lips turned into passionate kisses the more you held him. Loki returned your fervor with as much desire, if not more. How long has he waited for this? Dreamt of this? Wondering if he’d ever get the chance to kiss you again like this.

He had already granted you his pardon- earlier tonight when you had confessed that you imagined kissing him instead of Rogers. Perhaps even earlier than that, when you sat down on his lap and acknowledged his presence, finally, after weeks of disaffection. You had his forgiveness, but not his mercy.

“Loki, I need you. Please,” you begged. You started to unbutton his shirt, your fingernails nicking and scratching at his creamy skin in haste. “Make love to me,” you whined, wanting to compensate for lost time.

He licked his lips and savored your words. “Oh no, pet,” he chuckled darkly. “Only good girls get made love to...” Loki pushed your shoulders down, laying you on his desk. Your eyes widened in shock as your hair flowed around you, weaving with the cards of the fallen castle. He pulled your legs forward, bringing your hips flushed with his hard cock. “…Bad girls get fucked!”

You took a sharp intake of air as his words rattled your nerves. You heard the zip of his pants as his hands held you down on his desk. He nudged the wet gusset of your panties aside and guided the tip of his cock at your entrance. You moaned shamelessly when you felt him inside you for the first time in weeks.

He let out a shaky breath as he dragged himself up and down through your wet lips. Slowly teasing you, making you squirm with need. “…please…” you said so quietly you thought it was in your head. “…please, Loki…”

He gave into your cries. Into your begging; and thrust quickly inside you. You let out a vulgar moan at the sheer length of him filling you completely. Your knees squeezed around his hips as you tried to slow his assault. Your nails dug into the soft wood of his desk trying to hold on. “Stop resisting, my love. I thought this was what you wanted?” he grunted.

 Your hands gripped his wrist that was holding down your shoulder. He gathered your skirt around your waist and used it as leverage to thrust deeper into you. “Just a little bit deeper…fuck…When I’m…when I’m done with you…I’ll make sure…you can’t walk in the morning…” he vowed. “So, you won’t leave my bed like you did that day.” His rage was palpable and cloying.

“…Loki…” you whined. But that only made him go harder. Faster.

You held the edge of the desk above you, trying to meet his passionate thrust with your own. Strands of your hair fell off to the sides. Your back arched, and you could feel the cards stick to the sweat of your skin.

“You like this, don’t you? Look how wet you are for me.” He watched as your sweet cum coated his shaft, making him groan. You could feel it dripping from you with each hard thrust of his cock. “Do you like it rough?”

“…fuck, Loki…please…”

“You’re enjoying this too much.” His hand moved from your shoulder up to your throat. He grabbed your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, “Next time, I’ll just fuck you in front of the team. So, they can see what a begging mess you become for me.”

And he was right. You are a mess. And you are enjoying this too much. You had always prided yourself in being a tough and independent person. But when it comes to Loki, you didn’t hesitate to be cuffed and barred. You didn’t fight it when he chased you. You wanted him to catch you. You wanted his dominance.

Loki bent to hover over you, pinning your hips down to his hard desk. “You are not to leave me. Ever. Do you understand?” his breath came out labored and grunting. “You can storm out angry. You can yell, scream, and fight. Hell, I prefer it. But you are never to leave without returning and talking about it afterward. Is that clear?” He thrust deep to mark his point. You moaned loudly into the stifling air. Your fingernails digging into his shoulders.

“Say it!” he thrust again, demanding an answer.

“yesyesyes…please Loki…I’m a-about to…” you squeezed tighter around him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Come on then. Give it to me.” He demanded in your ear. You wrapped your ankles around his waist, keeping him locked to you. Loki stood back up, taking your wrist ad holding them down against his desk. You were trapped in between his corded arms. All you could see was the beautiful face of a god unraveling above you. His slanted brows and his gritted teeth, his deep voice grunting at the feel of your warmth around him.

You could feel the tight pull of his shaft against your walls when he dragged himself out and plunged back in. “Fuck baby, that’s it. Tighter. Come on.”

Your legs shook and you screamed his name one last time. Your orgasm pulses inside you, making every single part of you sensitive and euphoric. Loki followed soon after. His hips jutted forward with each grunt and spill of his climax inside you.

Loki bent over you again. He caged your head between his arms and kissed you softly on your swollen lips. Your hands roamed his back, feeling his powerful muscles contort and contract as he moaned above you. Your nails would scratch on his smooth skin whenever his cock twitched inside you. “Loki.”

Without breaking your kiss, he scooped you up from his desk and walked over to his bed. “…such a good girl for me, darling…” he whispered on your skin. “…taking me all in like that. Good fucking girl...” Your throat was hoarse and stung too much to answer anything above a sigh. His plush blankets welcomed you as he laid you down on top. “…and do you know what good girls get?”

You bit your lip to stop from giggling. Loki lined himself up with your entrance once again and pushed slowly. Your giggles turned into moans as he continued his rhythmic thrust against your heat.

“Look at me, darling,” he asked so sweetly. Your furrowed eyes caught his. “I love you,” he murmured. “I should’ve said it from the very beginning.” He continued at a tantric pace, keeping his stare at yours. You tightened around him and you got a more genuine feel for him. Every vein, every inch, pulling your moans from your lips and leaving you with nothing but the sensation of his love and adoration for you.

He looked deep into your eyes, and you could tell that he was close again. “I love you too,” you whispered. Loki let go. At the same time, your body releases itself into a climax. One of the strongest, and most powerful, ones you’ve ever felt.

His body sunk on top of yours. He was finally letting go of the weight and worry that he held these past weeks. And you welcomed it by holding him tighter against you.

You woke up the next morning, tender and stinging. The tiniest movement of your hips shot an aching soreness throughout your body. And you smiled. Your mind reeled at the memories of last night. After your shared confessions, Loki took you again in the shower, then on the floor, and then in the shower again. He fucked you in every conceivable space in his room. And then he would make love to every inch of your body afterward.

“Can you walk?” his voice was low and gravelly. The dredges of sleep have yet to release him from their grasp.

“Well, good morning to you too.” You playfully pushed him aside, pretending to be insulted. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a morning kiss.

“Good morning, my love…” he said with adoration. “…Can you walk?” he repeated. You rolled your eyes at him, smiling. You knew the answer before you even attempted to sit up and try to get off his bed.

Your hips felt out of place. Your thighs burned and screamed at being used again so soon after last night. And your feet could barely hold you up threatening to slip. “No, I can’t. Are you happy?”

Loki scooped you up making you yelp and grab hold of his shoulders. “Tremendously, so.” He said kissing you heatedly on your lips.

Nat sat in the conference room, reading Tony’s mission briefing from the night before. The rest of the team returned early last night and decided to join in on the movie. No one had noticed that you and Laufeyson were missing until Thor asked where his brother was. “They were both very tired. I think they might’ve gone to bed early,” Nat smirked.

And now, here she was watching the two of you come out of the bedroom hallways. A sudden giggle escapes from your lips. She looked over the paper and witnessed Laufeyson carrying you into the kitchen bridal style. “Put me down! I can walk now you know,” you whispered into his ear.

“Oh, darling. We both know I’m too good for that to wear off so quickly.”

“You pompous ass!”

“Yes, one that has your scratch marks all over it!” He gave you a quick peck on the lips, followed by his signature devious smirk. Loki pulled out one of the chairs and sat down with you on top of his lap.

Oh, this oughta be good! Nat neglected the rest of her work on the table and made her way over to the two of you. Loki had conjured a muffin and some coffee for you. While you sat on his lap feeding him grapes like he was Dionysus himself.

“You know, when I dared you to sit on his lap, I meant for the length of the movie,” Nat said coming up from behind you and sitting across the table. “Not indefinitely.”

“Your lovely friend here has been incapacitated, Agent Romanoff.” Loki smiled, nuzzling his nose against the smell of his shampoo in your hair. “I’m afraid she’ll need assistance from here on out. For the foreseeable future.”

“Stop it!” you chided him.

“Make me,” he teased.

⬅️ Truth or Dare | Hide and Seek (Coming Soon) ➡️

A/N: I guess I wasn't ready to let go of these two yet. This series wasn't supposed to have any major angst or plot. It was just supposed to be a collection of these two characters playing random "adult" games. So, I will try to get back to that thought and update whenever I think of something for them to do 😉.

🏷️ @emarich7 @michelleleewise @coldnique @psychospore @lokisgoodgirl @silverfire475 @fictive-sl0th @springdandelixn @wheredafandomat @goldencherriess @peaches1958 @salempoe @thomase1 @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @sarawr-reads @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @cakesandtom @simplyholl @here4thefanfics @tallseaweed @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @kikster606 @glitterylokislut @loz-3 @slytherclaw1227 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @lokidokieokie @n3rdybirdee @melsunshine-blog @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokischambermaid @cjand10 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @chrisevansmaindish @capswife @dangertoozmanykids101

[yanderemommabean]

Hey beans! Bit of an update-

This post will include mentions of abuse so, please, don't read if that will harm you in any way!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately! With how weird my school is with testing and clinicals, I've had hardly any real time to feel like I could sleep AND create. On top of that, I am still in the unfortunate position of living with my abuser, along with the rest of my family who seem to be going downhill.

While I'm hoping I can get a job to save up to move out of this state, that's going to take time, and its time I fear I don't have some nights as just the other night while bringing home groceries, I was met with my step dads gun directly in my face, and him being mad I was "Coming home late at ten at night" when it was, in fact, only 9:15 and I made myself known as I walked up the stairs.

My grandma is also a big issue, she's draining as usual but its taking more of a toll on me by the day. I no longer get food stamps either which is a reason she wants to start in on me every day I walk out of my room. The verbal abuse is one thing but she's threatening again and if I stand up for myself I'm seen as the bad guy.

My mom who used to be a person I thought I could turn to is now down a rabbit hole about "Woke" culture and now sees anyone in the LGBTQ community as brainwashers, yet when I remind her I am bisexual, she seems to backtrack a bit and say "Well no, not you, you're a good one"

She's also back into worshipping the Christian God, which I have absolutely no issue with, but she's telling me that I cant have my tarot cards or my own craft in my room like I'm some 15 year old who doesn't understand religions, and not 24 and choosing my own way in life. She keeps insisting that I pray, that I thank God, that I'm a sinner, anything to make her feel like she's scaring me into "Changing". I keep telling her she's driving a wedge between us, but it seems to be for nothing.

Every day I feel like my support net is crumbling, and I feel like this trip to save up is going to be fruitless as I don't have my own car, I have to find a way to get the doctors I need if I even get to the state I'm moving to, and so on and so on.

Any who, I'm going through a lot and can't seem to catch a break but I love you beans! I hope you're all doing good and having a wonderful day!

-Mommabean

[rmd-writes]

thanks @freneticfloetry @liminalmemories21 for the tags 💖

Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too.

This chaotic passage from (Un)professional Services, the Tarlos professional services AU I wrote with @welcometololaland (really this entire scene, but this passage demonstrates the vibe well - I don’t think of myself as a funny writer, so I’m proud of this scene!):

TK is surprised that Carlos hasn’t simply walked away from this chaos – and from him – at this point.

“I’m taking Carlos to my room,” he announces, taking Carlos’ hand. “C’mon, this way.”

“Do you still have an open door policy for TK?” he can hear his dad ask his mom behind them.

“No, Owen, TK is almost 30 so I don’t make him leave his door open if he has someone in there. Sweetie, there’s a whole box of those condoms from the office in—”

TK stops. “Oh my god! I’m not having sex with Carlos!”

Everyone looks at him in shock.

“Right now,” he amends.

I don’t write much angst, but I broke my heart writing baby TK in Precious Love (actually, I broke my heart writing most of this fic)

“You and I will still live here. But your dad won’t.”

TK doesn’t understand. Why doesn’t Dad want to live with him anymore? Is it because he leaves his Lego on the floor?

“Dad?” TK blinks. His eyes feel hot and itchy and his heart is beating really fast.

“I’m sorry, TK. Your mom is right. It’s better for us if I don’t live here anymore, but I promise that I still love you. It’s just going to be better this way.”

“But I want you to live here. With us! I promise I’ll be quiet when you sleep and won’t wake you up. And I promise to pick up my Lego. And I won’t leave my shoes in the doorway. And—” TK sniffs and rubs at his eyes with the back of his fist.

“Tyler, honey, it’s not anything you’ve done,” his mom says. Her voice sounds wobbly.

“Mommy, tell him not to go!” he cries.

From despite it all:

TK only breaks the kiss when his lungs are aching for air, resting their foreheads together. He peppers gentle kisses across Carlos’ jaw and down his neck, following a familiar path, using each kiss to write his love into his boyfriend’s skin, as if doing so will etch it there permanently, indelibly; a tattoo to match the mark Carlos has left on TK’s entire state of existence. Carlos cups his cheek as he looks up at him and the sheer fondness of his gaze has TK’s heart twisting in his chest as he stares back up at Carlos and wonders if he can’t just stay on his knees forever. 

also this first kiss from yours for the afternoon:

The first press of their lips together is gentle, almost chaste, but Alex slips his other hand around Henry’s back pulling him closer and Henry finds the soft dip of Alex’s waist inside his open coat, and when they kiss again, Alex parts his lips for him. He tastes sweet from the dessert but there’s something more, something unique to Alex that Henry wants to chase. He deepens the kiss, tangling his fingers in the curls at the base of Alex’s neck, losing himself in the slide of their tongues together and the press of Alex’s teeth as he tugs on Henry’s lower lip. When Henry pulls Alex closer so that there’s no space between them, kissing him thoroughly, as if there’s nothing more he needs in that moment than Alex and the feel of his mouth against his own, Alex makes a noise in the back of his throat that Henry swallows greedily. They part, breathless; minutes or hours later, Henry doesn’t know and frankly, he doesn’t care, all he can think about is the fact that he wants to do that again and never stop. 

He rests his forehead against Alex’s. “Hi,” he says on an exhale.

I’m so so proud of to the victor, the spoils (and its prequel). I can’t share my favourite passages from those fics without spoiling them, so I’ll give you this exchange with my beloved Bri instead:

Brianna has a coffee waiting for him when he arrives. “You’re a gem, Bri, what would I do without you?”

“Flounder aimlessly for a bit and then die a slow, uncaffeinated death probably.”

“That’s dark,” he says, taking a long sip of his coffee. 

“So, did you get the win?” she asks, looking over Alex with a quizzical expression on her face. 

“Of course I fucking did, Fox should have listened to me and withdrawn his application. I don’t know why he insisted on running it, he’s infuriating. The entire application was a waste of time.”

“Mmhmm,” Bri cocks her head and raises an eyebrow at him. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“That’s not the tie you were wearing this morning, Alex. Looks kind of boring to me,” Bri smirks at him and walks out of his office. 

Alex looks down. Fuck. He’s been wearing Henry’s tie. 

(iykyk)

This is one of the first times I read my own writing and thought, “I really love this”, from it’s just for snow:

When David stops talking, his voice is scratchy; he feels flayed from the inside out. He’s never bared so much of himself to anyone before, not like this. He prefers to only let people see the broadest brushes of himself, to keep them at a distance that won’t allow them to see the individual brushstrokes that make up David Rose. He doesn’t know why, but talking to Patrick in the dark, from the safety of his cocoon of blankets – it feels safe – Patrick feels safe. 

I’m also very proud of my The Grindr Toolbox: A Guide to Getting Nailed series, which features a fic from each of my fandoms, written for the same prompt.

Tagging some pals to share what they’re proud of too: @welcometololaland @kiwiana-writes @indestructibleheart @stereopticons @indomitable-love @strandnreyes @everwitch-magiks + an open tag for anyone else who wants to share 💖

[artbygem]

Bunny | Simon Riley x Female OC

Chapter One | Obey

ART CREDIT; @ave661 ♡

It's not even been 24hrs and I already miss him. Not sexually as we started as close friends. Probably the only friend I have, work was hectic and I just needed to take a break and speak to a friend. Maybe I should call him? No, he's probably not long gone to base. I'll text him. 

'Missing you ♡'

I press send and put my phone back in my pocket before heading back inside. I work through the rest of my shift. I pray that the rest of the day passes quickly.

****************** 

I was so glad to have finished my shift and get home. I grab my belongings from the staff room before beginning my route back home. I grab my phone from my pocket as I check my notifications.  I hadn't seen anything from Johnny, my heart sank a little and I started to feel lonely. However, as I look through the notifications, I end up spotting his response;

'Missing you too, princess ♡'

A small smile creeps across my face. I was so determined to find his response that I walked straight past my house. "Every single time!" I mumble to myself before I turn around and walk down the path slightly before I start to walk up the steps to my apartment. Once finally home, I throw my work stuff to the side before heading to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable. 

Whilst scrambling to find something to wear my phone starts to ring, I sigh before quickly throwing my hoodie on. I scramble to find my phone before seeing it's a video call from Mactavish. "Ah, there she is!" His thick Scottish accent bellows through the phone speakers. I can't help but smile upon seeing his stupid face light up my screen. "I was just about to call you," I say as I readjust myself on my bed as John messes around with his fellow colleagues. "Aye, gimme a sec!" I nod to accept his comment as I just sit here watching boys being boys as usual. 

"Mactavish got a girlfriend?"

"Someone's tripping"

"Alright, yous can get tae fuck!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the comments. I think what made it so much better was his response. After a few minutes, it was just the two of us, as he had relocated into his room for more privacy. "I'm glad you found that funny" I laugh at his comment before shrugging. "Oh come on, lighten up Mactavish. I needed a good laugh after the day I've just had" "Alright, I'll let you aff" John then repositions to only a position that he knows has a certain effect on me. "Hey, that's not fair Johnny" A small smirk appears on his face before he reaches out for something. 

"You know I don't play fair by now. Just be a good girl for me, princess" He winks before he takes a bite from his apple. I roll my eyes before focusing my attention on ordering food. I was not going to let him win. 

After about 20 minutes, my food arrived, I propped my phone up on the counter as I sorted out my food. "Remember I'm going to be limited to how often I can access ma phone-" "I know we have done this drill before" We both exchange smiles before letting out a small laugh. "You'll have to take in every feature of ma face or take a photo" His blue eyes pierce through my soul just before he winks. "I think I have enough pictures of your stupid face" I smirk before taking a bite out of my food and leaning against the counter. "Aye, you mean like this one?" I scoff thinking that I'm going to be sent one of the many selfies we have. 

My phone pinged with the notification, though upon opening the notification, I instantly coughed almost choking. "Oh my god! you nearly killed me! Why have you even got that?! I told you to delete it years ago!" John just laughs, not realizing how serious the whole situation is. "Naw, ye know that you love it! But ye know -" He stops to take another bite. I can't believe this guy. Awaiting his reply, I roll my eyes. "You look so much better on that counter than leaning against it" Honestly can't believe him. I feel the heat in my cheeks rises, all I hear is him slightly. Probably has seen my cheeks turn red. 

"You're an asshole" I scoff before finishing my food and then tidying up. "That's naw what you were saying 24hrs ago" We are not giving in. We can do this Gemma. "Get on the counter, princess" I looked at my phone screen with a slight frown along with a raised brow. "No, I'm not falling for this Mactavish" I pick up my phone before walking over to the table and sitting down. I open up my laptop before propping my phone up. 

"Princess"

"Johnny"

"I wasn't asking" You could see the lust but also anger in his eyes. I was just about to say something before John reveals his throbbing cock on camera. I was lost for words, and a small moan escaped my lips "Don't please" it came out in an almost whisper. "Ye didnae want to obey now you've got tae watch" No he's not punishing me I hate when he does that but now over the phone, he's punishing but teasing me. I bite my lip to contain myself but also any moans that may escape. He starts to rub his hand up & down his cock. Hearing the small moans & grunts he was making was enough. 

I caught a glimpse of his pre-cum leaking out of the head of his tip. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to slip my hand into my trousers and slip further down into my underwear. "Naw princess, hands where I can see them" I just about got to feel how wet I had become before groaning in annoyance as we had been denied access. "Johnny, please" I pout as I beg for his permission to finish her off. The tension was getting unbearable at this point. 

He begins to pick up the pace, breathing is getting more rugged and heavier. Nothing is said, just the sound of him panting and moaning fills the air. I bite my lip harder to contain a moan. Hearing John being all hot and breathless was making me wetter and my knees weak too. "Oh god, I wish I was deep inside you right now" John pants through the phone. I became an ocean within seconds, I hate him for this. I grab the sides of my chair as I use every little bit of my strength to remain composed right now. 

*************************

My mind drifts back to the video call me and John had a few days ago. I can't believe that man. I try to shake off the thoughts from my brain. I was currently looking into joining the army, I never discussed it with John and I just know he's going to be annoyed with me but at the moment I don't care. I look down at my phone checking my notifications, slight worry takes over me as I haven't heard anything from him but I also know that the connection isn't great.

I sigh as I unlock my phone and open up our text thread. As much as he was a complete dork I did miss Mactavish.

"Hey.. I know you're busy with this mission but I hope everything is okay there. I haven't heard from you in a few days just checking up on you. I miss you.. ♡"

Should I start to worry? No, that's stupid because you have done this so many other times before and know how this works. He's a soldier and out on deployment like that's his job. Ugh, I need to find a life outside of Mactavish. Though the problem is, I don't have anyone else, it's been like that for as long as I can remember and I guess I was just happy to have met John. Yeah didn't meet in the most normal setting. It was only meant to be a no-strings-attached, one-night thing but years later..

God, I remember the first night we met like it was yesterday. Now we're the best of friends and sometimes inseparable. Not quite, I can't stand him and his annoying ass! God, I don't even know how he managed to befriend me because I hate people. No lie, maybe it was the sex? No, that would make me look..desperate? 

Maybe it was his stupidly handsome face with those ocean-blue eyes and his stupid Scottish accent. You know what, it makes it seem like I like the dork more than just friends and that is not the case. Just friends..with benefits. 

I mean don't get me wrong he is a very good-looking man and any girl would be lucky to have him. I just don't trust anyone like I used to in the past so I have major trust issues which means I will never let anyone get close to me again. Why you may ask? it's a long story but I maybe just maybe might tell you later on. I don't like talking about it and prefer not to open up either. The guard is always up because I can't take the risks anymore. 

*********************

I was replying to a work email on my phone while watching a film when a notification popped up at the top of my screen. He finally replied. A wave of relief washes over me. He's okay.

'Hey princess, I'm okay. Sorry I didnae text ya back sooner. You know how these things are. Don't worry I'm in one piece for you ♡'

I couldn't help but smile at his response but I rolled my eyes at his response also because even when he is trying to sound like he cares it also comes across as him being the biggest jerk too. I miss him so badly right now. I need the company and I don't have anyone else that I'm just that comfortable being around like Mactavish. Maybe it's because I don't like being around people or like showing any emotions or it's my trust issues. God I don't even know how John has put up with me for so long. I am the most complicated person he's probably met. 

Me? Worry about you? Johnny you know me better than that, I'm fine, I don't need to worry about you. Hell I don't care if you took a year to reply back to me.

I replied to him shortly after. I switched back to the email app I was on and continued to finish of the email I was writing out for work. I can just imagine the response I will get back from him when he eventually does reply back. If I had to guess it would be something along the lines of me actually caring and worrying about only him and no one else because I'm not that heartless because somehow John knows me best and deep down I have a heart somewhere and one day he will bring it out..

[axelnyx]

God I Wish I Never Spoke Part 4 (Finale)

Just realized I never put the last chapter of this fic on here. Will also be adding the chapters of my other fic (Desolation) on here as well in case you guys rather read it on Tumblr than ao3. Anyways enjoy.

part 1 part 2 part 3

can also be ready on ao3

Gaz had told Price where he could find Soap with the condition that if the Sergeant didn’t want to talk, Price would back off and give him space. Price had quickly agreed and now he was walking towards the training grounds. According to Gaz, there was a hidden alcove on the grounds that was relatively hidden from sight. Soap and Gaz used the spot when they needed to cool off for a bit or need a moment to themselves. When Gaz had told Price this, the Captain double checked to make sure it was alright for him to go to the spot, not wanting to intrude on the Sergeants’ sense of comfort. Gaz had reestablished that is was fine, so long as Price follows the condition he set,

After some searching, with the help of Gaz’s directions, Price was able to find the hidden spot. He cautiously approached it, catching sight of his other Sergeant. “Soap.” Price called gently, stopping a few feet in front of him. Soap quickly looked up at him, scrambling to his feet and stepping out of the alcove. “Captain, ye need somethin’?” Soap asked. His tone was calm and level, and he had a smile on his face. But Price could tell it was fake. The smile was strained and Soap stood tense and fidgety. Price shook his head. “Just wanted to talk to you for a minute, lad. It’s about the other day.” he says calmly. Soap visibly gets more tense, swallowing nervously. “Right. Listen, it wasn’t the others’ fault. They dinnea do anything wrong. Hell, it was my idea and-” the Sergeant started rambling but Price held up a hand, signaling him to stop.

“Not that part. I’m talking about how I treated you, Soap.” Price explains softly. Soap blinked in surprise and then nervously cleared his throat. “Well, it’s understandable. I fucked up an’ made a dumb decision. Ye had a right to be mad.” he says. Price shakes his head. “I may have had a right to be mad, but I had no right to take it out on you like that. You had done what you thought was appropriate for the situation and, in the end, everything worked itself out. I didn’t listen when you tried to explain that and for that I apologize…and I apologize for scaring you.” Price says softly, looking at Soap with regret in his eyes.

Soap shrugged his shoulders. “It’s fine, Price.” he murmurs, looking at the ground and avoiding Price’s gaze. “It’s not,” Price retorts, “You thought I was going to hurt you.” Soap cringes at the mention of how he reacted to Price’s outburst. “I was being a bit dramatic.” Soap says quietly. Price’s eyes widen in surprise. “No, you weren’t. I was being a dick and took it too far. That’s all on me, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong and you sure as shit weren’t being ‘dramatic’.” Price gently corrects. Soap is silent for a moment as he looks at Price before slowly nodding his head. “Ye were bein’ a bit of a dick.” he mumbles. Price chuckles and nods in agreement. “That I was, but I promise to better control myself in the future.” Price says.

Soap smiles at him before clearing his throat. “Sooo, I’m guessin’ Gaz told ye where to find me.” he says. “He did. It’s a neat little spot you two got here.” Price says, nodding towards the alcove behind Soap. Soap beams at him, a sparkle of excitement in his eyes. “Ye want a tour, Cap?” he asks. Price smiles and nods his head. “Would love one, son.” he replies. Soap turns around and gestures for Price to follow him into the alcove.

It would take some time for Price to fully gain his boys’ trust back, but his actions today were a good start.

[yuribalisms]

Nothing quite like a random couple asking if they can pray for you because they just felt the need to at work to put you in an extremely weird headspace for the day

[skitskatdacat63]

I will read the most inane and useless stuff for hours just for my own interest/enjoyment, but reading academic papers is like pulling a tooth 😭😭 like I genuinely think I'd find the info interesting but the fact that ik it's in pursuit of doing an assignment somehow manages to kills my motivation 100%

[give-soup-please]

"is it depression, or am i between hyperfixations?"

-the title of give-soup-please's latest autobiography

[ashfdhfgdsfk]

might remake to a new account entirely and change the name i go by

[spacedlexi]

is anybody else out there still creating twdg fanworks 😭📢 where is everyone please dont say reddit i cant go back there

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Meeting someone tomorrow to potentially talk about housing and being roommates and. I'm nervous 👉👈

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

[rapidhighway]

i have to go get a pen

[kenobihater]

the last remaining threads of my sanity are slipping through my fingers rn 🚬 😑

[jemmo]

.