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slutbee · 3 months

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when he's god

Written for the Sam and Dean Mini Event by @holyfreaks

06/26/24 Prompts: First times/last times, motel rooms, love like religion/devotion

Rating: E

WC: ~2k

Part 2/4.

Summary: It's been a while since Dean first gave into Sam begging to kiss him. Sam gets antsy and decides to take things to the next level. Dean never stood a chance of telling him no.

Making out with Sam made Dean indescribably high. His brother's lips were soft against his own; untouched, Dean thought. Sam was unsure at first, mouth cautious like he was afraid to make the wrong move. But Dean was happy to take the lead. He was teaching Sam, after all.

He huffed a breath out of his nose that ricocheted off Sam's face and back into his own. Sam shifted in Dean's lap, subtly enough that Dean wasn't sure he knew what he was doing. But the next roll of his hips was more confident, and Dean groaned involuntarily. He felt Sam smile and broke away.

"Sam," Dean said breathlessly, chest heaving with the effort to breathe around how fast his heart was beating.

Sam's expression turned worried. "Do you not- I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I promise."

"No, it's okay..." Dean hesitated, still catching his breath. "It's just that..." He sighed. "You're way too young."

The worry dropped from Sam's face and was replaced by a teasing grin. "That's what you're worried about here?"

Dean scowled and lunged forward to kiss Sam again. Breaking away, he said, "Shut up. That part makes it worse." Sam's face fell again and Dean rushed to cover himself. "I mean, if someone were to find out, they'll think I'm taking advantage of you. Older family member, I could've groomed you."

"You're right," Sam admitted dejectedly. "What are we supposed to do then, Dean? I want you." He pouted. It was so little-brother manipulative that Dean couldn't help but kiss him again.

"Make you a deal," he said when they parted. "When you turn sixteen."

"That's so long," Sam whined, punctuating his drama with a hard roll of his hips. Trying to manipulate Dean into giving in, but Dean had made up his mind to this hasty plan.

"It'll be okay," said Dean. "I just want to make sure we're not being impulsive. Plus, sixteen is the legal age of consent." He winked.

Sam added the puppy dog eyes 3000 to the pout. "I consent now."

"Legal, Sammy. Legal."

It had been several months since the first time they kissed. Sometimes, still, when Dad was away, they'd settle into one of the beds to nap together, waking each other up with gentle kisses all over the other's face. Which almost always turned into a heavy makeout session that Dean cut short, keeping to his stance.

Sam was frustrated. Months now, his brother had practically been edging him daily. He would let Sam get all worked up in his lap, then stop at the last second. At night, when he was sure Dean was sleeping, he crept to the bathroom to take care of his aching hard on, moaning Dean's name softly as he came.

Sam's birthday came and went, but Dean showed no signs of breaking from his pattern. When he stopped everything, Sam would whine and say pretty please, but Dean would not be moved. So Sam decided to take matters into his own hands.

They had finished shooting practice for the day, and Dean was in the shower washing away the sweat from the Midwestern summer day. Sam sat criss-crossed on the floor, cleaning their guns, bullets strewn on the carpet from him haphazardly emptying them. His plan was simple: accost Dean while he was half-naked, off-guard from his shower, and make him so turned on that he would have to fuck Sam.

In the other room, the shower turned off. Sam scrambled to put away the guns, leaving the bullets all over the floor, and jumped onto the bed. He laid on his stomach and grabbed the book he had placed to "read" only in his boxers. A familiar cold feeling gripped his chest, but he pushed it down. Nothing to be anxious about. Dean wouldn't hurt him.

The bathroom door creaked open behind him, and Dean's footsteps came a couple steps into the room before stopping. Sam smiled and craned his neck around to see him. Dean was clad in only a towel, wrapped loosely around his waist, like Sam had predicted, and he was frozen in place, mouth open slightly, breathing picking up.

Sam arched his back a little and wiggled his ass. "Come here, Dean," he said in a sing-songy voice. It was childish, he knew, but he was a child, after all.

Dean's voice was dry but sounded full of lust. "Sammy, I-"

"Oh come on, Dean." Sam rolled over onto his back, propping himself on his elbows to glare at his brother. "My birthday was two months ago. You promised."

Dean wasn't hard to convince. He walked the rest of the way to the bed, dropping his towel on the way, and climbed over top of Sam.

Sam had seen Dean naked before, many times, but nothing compared to having him hovering over Sam's also-naked body. He dropped back to the bed, his hands creeping up to grip Dean's hips.

"Too much clothes," Dean murmured, kissing down Sam's torso. When he reached the bottom, he hooked his fingers in Sam's boxers and carefully pulled them down. Sam shivered as the fabric dragged over his hardening cock.

"So pretty, Sammy," Dean said, pressing his mouth to the underside of Sam's dick. Immediately, Sam's whole body tensed. It was one thing to imagine your hand was someone else's, but it was another thing entirely to have your dick in someone's mouth. Sam moaned, surprised at the sound that escaped him.

Dean raised himself up and whispered against Sam's ear. "You wanna be on top, or you want me to?"

The favorite images of Sam's brain flashed through, of Sam's hands grasping Dean's hips while he pounded into him. He was willing to bet money that Dean's ass felt a million times better than his mouth.

"I want to be on top," Sam answered breathlessly. "But you have to tell me what to do." A surge of arousal coursed through him at the admission.

"Sure, baby," Dean said against Sam's jaw, where he was leaving open-mouthed kisses. Then he rolled off of Sam onto his back and flung his legs wide. "Come here."

Sam's heart thudded in his chest as he knelt over Dean. The act in itself was nothing he hadn't done before, but it was always fully clothed with the knowledge that nothing more was going to happen. Now he was finally escalating it.

Dean took hold of Sam's hand and brought it to his mouth, sucking Sam's fingers between his lips and swirling his tongue around them. Sam watched in fascination as Dean opened his mouth again and let go of Sam's hand, a string of saliva connecting to his lips.

"Put 'em inside me," Dean said, shifting to angle his ass upwards as much as he could while laying on his back. Sam hesitated, then brought his middle finger to circle Dean's hole. Dean bit his lip and looked so pretty under Sam, eyes widening when the finger pushed inside. Sam thrusted his finger inside Dean a few times experimentally.

"You can do another," Dean breathed, eyes fixed on Sam as he squirmed and blushed. "I was fingering myself in the shower." The last part was quieter as he was embarrassed to admit it.

Sam didn't say anything, just smiled and added two more fingers at once, making Dean gasp. He wiggled his three fingers inside Dean to get some kind of reaction, and was rewarded with a high pitched moan when he found the right spot. He pressed his fingers in that same spot several times, until Dean was squirming too much and a string of please-es were falling from his open mouth. Sam carefully extracted his fingers from his brother and wiped them on the motel blanket. He took hold of his dick and smoothed some precum around it before lining up with Dean's hole.

Shaking with excitement and nervousness, Sam used one hand to guide himself while the other found Dean's hand and gripped it.

"It's okay, Sammy," Dean reassured him, squeezing his hand. "Go for it."

"I'm gonna put it in," Sam whispered.

As he finally pushed his cock past Dean's rim, they both let out loud moans, Sam's a little higher-pitched and more like a whimper. He breathed heavily in loud sighs as Dean pulled him closer, farther in. Once he was buried to the hilt, he buried his face in Dean's neck and whined.

"Feels so good, baby," Dean said tightly, taking a deep breath. "Feel like I'm gonna blow already."

"I'm not gonna last," Sam whimpered desperately.

"No, you're doing so good," Dean encouraged. "So good. C'mon."

Sam pulled out slowly to thrust into his brother again. He struck up a rhythm, spurred on by the moans he was eliciting from Dean and the feeling of his tight hole wrapped around his cock. He didn't even realize his eyes were shut tight until he opened them and was met with Dean's gaze, looking reverently up at him. Sam shuddered and dropped down to catch Dean's lips in a messy kiss, jolting teeth against teeth with every rock of his hips.

"I love you," Dean whispered into Sam's mouth.

Dean wasn't usually the type of person to break out sappy shit when it came to sex, but the way Sam moved over him, face set in determination and pleasure, stirred up powerful emotions, too powerful to set aside and ignore.

"I love you," he whispered, and the way Sam's face lit up with a smile twisted in his heart. The gravity of how wrong this was hit him, because Sam was so much skinny high school boy that Dean had to remember that this was his little brother.

His, though, and nobody else's. That much was evident by the way Sam's fingers dug into Dean's hips, sure to leave bruises that he would have to hide from Dad. Sam sucked and bit at the side of Dean's neck, and that one Dad would definitely see, but Sam was his god, so Dean would play the part of sacrificial lamb. Taking the heat off Sam was his life's purpose. Sam was his life's purpose, really, and in that moment, with his little brother sweaty above him, face twisted in almost-orgasm, Dean realized there was really nothing left in the world short of dying that he wouldn't do for his brother. Although he would die for Sam if he had the reason or opportunity, he knew that.

Sam's fingers were interlaced with Dean's, pressing Dean's hand palm-up into the pillow by his head. Dean squeezed Sam's hand tightly, feeling himself getting close.

"God, Sammy, gonna-" Sam pushed Dean's thighs up and fucked him from this new angle straight over the edge, and Dean came untouched all over his stomach, practically up to his chin. He had never done that before, but he had never fucked Sammy before, and the love and intimacy he had with his brother was heightening his senses. Dean gasped and whined as Sam continued to hammer into him, chasing his own high until finally, finally, Sam threw his head forward, pressing his forehead to Dean's, and Sam-warmth spread inside Dean, accompanied by the prettiest sounds he'd ever heard a boy make, huffed into his ear.

Sam kept his pace for too long after that ("crazy bastard"), whining and moaning into Dean's ear as he overstimulated them both. It became nearly unbearable for Dean, but it was so intimate and so Sam that he couldn't push him away. Finally, Sam pulled out and flopped down at Dean's side.

They laid there, saying nothing, breathing heavily for a good several minutes. Sam curled into Dean's side, seemingly oblivious to the mess they'd just made of each other. Then, after a while, Dean asked, "How was it?"

Sam's voice cracked, reminding Dean again how much younger he was. "So fucking good, De." He kissed Dean's shoulder. Dean turned his head and kissed Sam's forehead.

"Good."

"Thank you," Sam added, and a swell of pride rose in Dean.

"Love you so much, Sammy." I'd do anything for you, you don't even have to ask was the part he left out. "Don't you forget it."

"How could I," Sam murmured sleepily. He yawned. "Let's clean up before we fall asleep."

Dean chuckled, remembering the drying cum all up his front and probably Sam's, too. "Yeah, probably a good idea. Hope there's still hot water."

#nepsbday2024 #wincest #samdean #supernatural #wincest smut #wincest fic #teenchesters #weecest #supernatural smut #spn smut #spn fic #spn fanfic

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winchesterhymns · 3 months

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Day 2: Motel rooms, Love like religion / Devotion

A johndean moodboard for @holyfreaks mini event!!

#this may or may not also be a moodboard for a fic ill be posting later today :3 #nepsbday2024 #dean winchester #john winchester #johndean #moodboard #book of hymns

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chineseshoestore · 3 months

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Emma Klee

@holyfreaks for the growing pains prompt

#nepsbday2024 #poetry #my work #wincest #weecest #supernatural

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wrenwinchester · 3 months

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For @holyfreaks

This one isn’t as canon compliant as originally intended, but you go where the story takes you. I don’t like how the last part turned out, but I’m exhausted, so it’s all I’ve got. There was supposed to be more, but my uterus is trying to kill me, so have at it.

Devotion and First and Last Times

Dean

Dean watched as his mom and dad carefully brought little Sammy into the house.

“Can I hold him, Mommy?” He asked, his eyes big and pleading.

Mary of course relented, “Of course, Dean, but you have to sit down, okay. Can you go sit on the couch for me?” She asked and Dean ran to get settled in.

“You sure ‘bout this, Mary?” John asked. “Dean can be rambunctious, and Sammy is just a few days old.”

Mary just looked at John with a scoff. “We’ll be right next to them, they’ll be fine.”

Dean was beyond excited to have a little brother to play with. He was practically vibrating with excitement at the idea of holding his little brother, and showing him the ropes.

Mary gently laid Sammy in Dean’s arms, “make sure you support his head.” She said, and stood above watching as her four-year-old gazed lovingly at his little brother.

“You’re gonna have to watch out for him, Dean. Help keep him safe, okay?” John said, and Dean just nodded.

“I’ll take care of you, Sammy. No matter what.” His parents smiled at the words, but Dean only had eyes for Sam.

****************************************************

Dean watched closely, Sam’s relieved sag has he heard his brother’s voice calling for him. The way Sam was cradling his arm, definitely injured, but Dean wasn’t sure if it was broken or dislocated, or something else entirely.

He knew Sam was exhausted, Dean could see it in the way he stumbled forward. Barely catching himself before he fell with each step.

Movement behind Sam caught his eye. “Sam, look out!” Dean yelled as he started running. Sam tried to turn around but it was too late, the knife had gone into his back and was gone again. Dean sped up, as if he could run any faster, his heart had stopped. He felt it drop in his chest as he rushed to catch Sam before he hit the ground.

Dean vaguely registered Bobby chasing after the guy, but he only had eyes for Sam. Sam, who was going to be fine. He had to be. Sam whose blood was leaking out all over the ground and Dean’s hands. Sam who believed Dean when he said he would be okay. Sam, Dean’s baby brother, baby. Dean’s everything.

Sam’s belief in Dean is why he allowed himself to drift off in the first place. Dean would take care of him, he always did.

When Bobby came back, Sam was long dead, and Dean had already carried the Sam-not-Sam thing into one of the houses, and was sitting by the bed where he’d laid him.

“Dean, do you want me to build the pyre?” He asked, and the thought shook him to his core. Sam was supposed to be the one to get out of the hunting life, he was supposed to have the apple pie life, he did, until Dean helped take it from him. Sam was supposed to bury Dean. Not the other way around. Dean was supposed to die young, not his baby brother. Not his Sammy.

Dean couldn’t say anything at first so he just shook his head. Watching Sam just lay on the bed, Dean could almost pretend he was just sleeping, that he hadn’t bled out. For once, Sam looked peaceful, even if he didn’t look like Sam.

“Dean…” Bobby said, trying to help the boy see the truth.

“I said no Bobby!” Dean snapped, he hadn’t meant to, and his emotions were crawling their way up his throat. “Not yet,” he said, softer this time, barely audible, and broken.

Dean Winchester was broken.

****************************************************

The idea had started forming the morning after Sam had died, Dean wasn’t supposed to be here. He should have died after that Rugaru hunt, but Sam found a way to save him. And then he should have died after the accident, but instead, John, no his dad, traded his soul for Dean. And suddenly, Dean was the only Winchester left. It wasn’t right.

Sam and John had both saved Dean, just for Dean to be left alone, it wasn’t fair. That’s when the idea struck.

I could make a deal. Dean thought. And so he started planning, he’d have to chase Bobby off, but that wouldn’t be to hard, truthfully, Dean didn’t care about the world if Sammy wasn’t in it.

So that’s what he did. The next day, when Bobby came back from his run for food, and tried once again to convince Dean to leave Sam, Dean blew up at him, it got more emotional than he had meant it to, but that just sold his point. And with that, Bobby walked back out the door, and Dean was well and truly alone.

He sat and talked to Sam for hours, well, the not-Sam thing that looked like him. He looked pale, and Dean just talked. He talked until his voice was hoarse, and finally, at nightfall, he decided to act on his plan.

He drove, he was definitely white knuckling it’s he could almost hear Sam chiding him for his speed, but he had to do this before he could back out.

He arrived at the cross roads. “IM HERE TO MAKE A DEAL!” He shouted after following the ritual. His heart pounded. What if they didn’t show. What if they didn’t care.

And then she did, and suddenly, he could almost feel the weight of the world lift just a little as he felt, from miles away, that Sam was breathing again.

He didn’t believe it until he saw him though. Dean held his breath the entire drive back to Cold Oak, and more as he walked into the house where he had left Sam’s body.

But when he walked in, and saw Sam, standing, examining his back in the mirror, it’s Dean’s turn to sag in relief. His baby brother was alive.

“Sammy? Thank God.” Dean said as he all but ran to hold his baby brother.

Now he just had to keep this secret from him.

**************************************************

Sam

That first Tuesday was the worst, if only because it felt the most real. Dean could die on the job at any point, even the nonsupernatural. It felt so real. All those Tuesdays and the six months that followed. Living without Dean. It was the worst thing that could have happened to him. And Sam knew it. Dean had only had to go through three days of him being gone, and he got to be near him the whole time. Sam wasn’t so lucky.

When that time was up, Sam still had to go through the pain of actually losing his brother to hell, but that’s not this story.

The first two months after all the Tuesdays, Sam spent trying to deal Dean back to life, to give anything, his soul, his “right” to the throne of hell, whatever he could try to pass off, he did. But no one was buying. So Sam did what he could, he sought revenge. He was going to find that damned trickster if it was the last thing he did. And, if Sam had it his way, it would be.

Getting Dean back, making it through that Wednesday, and avoiding the trickster made the most sense. But god, after everything Sam was still angry. He wanted revenge, but at the same time, he hadn’t lost any time with his brother. It still felt wrong.

Months later, Dean’s deal was cashed in, and Lilith was there to watch. Sam was angry, no. He was pissed. Once again, there was nothing he could do, no one was dealing, none of the demons wanted anything to do with Sam, so Sam did the only thing he could think to do, and he through himself into finding a way to get revenge for his brother. To kill Lilith, and maybe, just maybe, he’d get lucky and take himself out in the process.

When Dean came back, Sam was of course overjoyed. He had his brother back, but there was so much more. Guilt, pain, the need for revenge, and the secret of what he’d been doing with Ruby.

He lost himself for Dean, and Dean still had no idea.

#nepsbday2024 #I really like the concept I started with #which was the second part #I added the baby Sam part to even it out originally #it didn’t work #but it’s fine. I like that part #anyway i need to go to bed #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural #the winchesters #the winchester brothers #john winchester #mary winchester #bobby singer #weechesters

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transfemmesam · 3 months

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first fic for @holyfreaks 's birthday event is up!!! transfem sam comes out to dean circa season 10!! go check it out!!

June 25 - LGBTQ/Ethel Cain

#txt #holy scriptures #my fics #gencest #thesis statement #nepsbday2024

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panicroomsammy · 3 months

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She saw me when I was scouting out the bunker. She saw me and she screamed, and then...so I crushed her skull with my bare hands. And it was warm and wet and I liked it.

June 25th: Ethel Cain for @holyfreaks mini event

#this is the first of many edits I’m making today <3 #and yes the link is to the fic I wrote a month ago the sam/jack/lucifer inbred thoughts have not gone away #nepsbday2024 #samjack #samifer #lucifer/jack #sam/jack/lucifer

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holyfreaks · 3 months

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family is hell

the hollies, "he ain't heavy, he's my brother" / supernatural 9x23 / phoebe bridgers, "motion sickness" / supernatural 4x21 / stateless, "bloodstream" / supernatural 2x08 / the crystals, "he hit me (it felt like a kiss" / supernatural 1x21

for the sam and dean mini event

#nepsbday2024 #sam winchester #dean winchester #wincest #samdean #spn #web weave #nep's edits #samdean edit #wincest edit

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slutbee · 3 months

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american teenagers

Written for the Sam and Dean Mini Event by @holyfreaks

06/25/24 Prompts: Ethel Cain/LGBTQ

Inspo from American Teenager and Western Nights

Rating: M

WC: 2.8k

Part 1/4.

Summary: Dean's been sneaking out to hook up with boys lately. Sam tries not to care, but he can't ignore the knife-twisting feeling in his chest whenever Dean comes home the next morning. But why would he care? He doesn't like boys, he can't be jealous.... right?

Every night Dad said not to wait up, Dean went outside to the parking lot. "Don't wait up" really meant "I'll be out all night, probably until the afternoon too," so Dean didn't worry about getting caught sneaking out. Sam always spied on him through the rickety aluminum blinds and knew that if Dad did catch Dean, he would have another thing coming. Because Dean wasn't just out there alone.

Tonight, a boy on a motorcycle stopped at the curb. The growl of the engine made the blinds vibrate against Sam's nose a little bit. He watched as Dean hauled himself cleanly off the post he'd been leaning on, his sleek body a neat little shadow as he went to greet the boy, who had taken off his helmet.

The boy reached for Dean's neck, but Dean caught his hand and looked back, straight into the pair of eyes watching him through the crack in the blinds, and laughed. The mystery boy followed his gaze and Sam snapped his fingers out from the blinds, hiding himself. He could still hear their laughter. Then, the roar of the motorcycle. Sam peeked through the window again just in time to see them ride off, Dean's arms wrapped tightly around the mystery boy's waist.

Sam stepped away from the window. Yes, Dad would be furious if he knew Dean was sneaking out; much less to meet up with boys. And Sam wasn't naive, he knew Dean wasn't just hanging out with them. He had seen Dean kiss one, when he had been more careful about spying on him. The twist in his chest hadn't been because the action was wrong.

The room was quiet when Sam was alone. It would be nice, if he could stop thinking about what Dean was up to. Staring at the faded carpet, he pictured Dean with that rakish grin, smiling into the mouth of a boy a million times cooler than Sam was. He pictured hands sliding up Dean's shirt, discarding his clothes, gripping his hips-

Sam shook his head. Zoned out again. He really had to stop doing that. Daydreaming about his brother... in that kind of situation.

It's natural, he told himself as he kneeled beside the motel bed to pray. I'm a teenage boy, I get horny about everything. It doesn't mean anything.

Still, the wordless prayer that went up spoke multitudes of unacknowledged guilt.

God, I don't know if you're out there, but... well, you know, of course, but I should tell you anyway... I've been having feelings... well, being attracted to people I shouldn't be attracted to. Boys. I know this is part of my curse, another challenge that I just have to get over to become a better person. I'm really trying, but... if you could help. A little bit. I don't know if I can do it by myself. I can't seem to stop sinning.

Sam grabbed the edge of the bed to stand, wincing when his muscles protested from being overworked during Dad's weekend training. He had prayed every night since the first wordless prayer, admitting a little more each time.

The motel room door swung open. His stomach dropped and Sam turned, expecting to see Dad, home before Dean for once, but it was just Dean. His hair stuck up at all angles and his t-shirt and jeans were rumpled like they had been on the floor all night. There was that twist in his chest again.

"Cutting it close there," Sam said a little bitterly, turning his back on his brother again.

"Nah, I'm always golden," Dean replied cheerfully, clapping a hand down on Sam's shoulder, making him jump. "C'mon, Sammy, I'm bored. Let's go explore the woods out back."

"Bored already, huh?" Sam side eyed his brother and shrugged the hand off his shoulder.

Dean was unfazed. He winked. "You're just jealous."

"What? No I'm not," Sam protested hurriedly, a flush creeping up his neck.

"Yeah, you are." Dean rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, baby brother, when you get older I'll teach you how to pick up chicks. Or guys, if that's what you're into."

"Why would I be into guys? I'm not," Sam floundered desperately.

Dean's eyebrow went up. "Relax, I'm joking. Come on, I'm dying to see what's in these woods."

Sam took a deep breath and glanced around for his shoes. "Fine, let's go."

During their walk, Sam was silent, finding his ragged Converse far more interesting than the nature scenes around him. He couldn't enjoy it, not today. He watched his Converse stamp down the pine needles under his feet.

"Awful quiet there, Sam," Dean said after a while. "Penny for 'em."

"I'm not thinking about anything," Sam griped. His teenage angst was in full force since Dean had walked through the door practically parading the fact that he got laid.

Dean snorted. "Fine, be that way." They continued on in silence for a little while. Birds sang overhead, oblivious to the fact that they should shut up so Sam could wallow in peace.

He didn't know how Dean did it, going and getting laid (at all, but especially) with boys and still seemed to have a totally clear conscience. Of course, he had never had the same moral compass as Sam, but he didn't really need to, since he was a perfect child. John approved of everything he did (except the hooking up with boys thing, because he didn't know). But Sam? He couldn't do anything right in the eyes of his father. If Dad found out Dean liked boys, he probably wouldn't do anything too drastic, but if he found out that Sam liked boys? That would just be the icing on the cake.

Not that Sam liked boys. That wasn't something that he ever consciously admitted to himself, but sometimes it just came up like that. Whenever that happened, he shoved it back down to the darkest corner of his brain.

"Dean?" Sam said before he realized he had said it.

"Yeah?" Dean had stopped at the base of a pine tree and had his neck craned to watch two squirrels racing up the trunk. Sam's eyes fixed on the curve of his Adam's apple, muscles taut and rippling as he swallowed and laughed. Sam wanted to kiss his neck.

No! that was just because Dean was the only boy he ever interacted with. Not because he liked Dean. Dean was just the precedent for all boys their age.

Sam swallowed hard and forced himself to look away, directing his attention to the pair of squirrels on the tree trunk.

"How do you do it?" he asked vaguely, hoping Dean would get the idea of what he was asking.

Dean did not. "Do what?" he asked, turning to Sam with a quizzical expression that Sam only saw in his periphery.

The squirrels disappeared from view. Sam reluctantly brought his eyes down to meet his brother's. "Y'know. Hook up with guys."

Dean looked at a loss for words for a moment. They had never spoken about Dean's escapades outright. Dean found his footing, trying to brush it off. "You wanna know the mechanics? Well, Sammy, one guy has-"

"Stop it, Dean. You know what I mean."

Dean stared into the face of his little brother, somehow so earnest and desperate at the same time. He went through possible questions Sam could be trying to ask him.

How is he attracted to guys? How does he stomach it? How does he bear being intimate with someone other than Sam? The last one couldn't be it. Although Sam's slightly accusatory expression suggested otherwise.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Sammy," he said slowly.

Sam huffed a little-brother sigh that was more of a scoff. "Like, don't you feel... I dunno." He pushed around some pine needles at his feet. "Dirty?"

Dean was taken aback. Where was this coming from? Sam's voice sounded rife with guilt, but Dean wasn't sure if it was because of some secret inner working of Sam's mind or if it was because of the question he'd dared to ask Dean.

Dean cleared his throat. "Um. I don't, really." He took a step towards Sam. "I did a little at first, because it was a forbidden thing, but... I dunno, I like it. That kinda outweighs the feeling of it being wrong. Plus, you know how I feel about rules," he added, winking.

"How did you know?" Sam looked up at Dean, his eyes swimming with melancholy.

"Know....?"

"That you were, uh. That you like guys." Sam rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

"Well, I realized I felt the same way about them as I do chicks. Like I wanted to get their attention in the same way." Dean searched his brother's face for any sign that meant that was the right answer. He got nothing, so he continued. "Then, y'know. I just started flirting with them too, and the ones that got it, got it."

Sam looked like he wanted to say something, and Dean had a feeling he knew what it was going to be. He didn't.

"Why do you sneak around behind Dad's back? If he ever catches you...."

Dean raised his eyebrow at that. It seemed like Sam was launching into one of his little lectures, where he tried to keep Dean from doing anything fun. "Yeah, if Dad catches me, I'm gonna get the ass-whupping of a lifetime. But I gotta have fun somehow."

"Yeah, but you don't have to risk it," Sam murmured, looking down at the ground again. His fingers had made their way down from his neck to twist into his hoodie strings.

Dean was getting uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was headed. It was about to either turn into a fight or Sam was going to say something he wish he'd never said.

"I'll be fine, Sammy," Dean assured him, mustering a confident grin. Don't worry about me so much. You'll give yourself ulcers."

He directed Sam back the way they came, but this time he didn't touch him at all.

By the light coming through the blinds at the motel (different motel, blinds weren't broken, but Dean had turned them downwards so more sun would come in and wake them up), Sam fixed his eyes on the shape in the dark that was his brother.

Dean was stretched out on top of the blankets. The night was still hot and the AC in this motel room didn't work. A rotating fan lightly blew air over the two of them, but it wasn't nearly enough.

Which is why Dean was sleeping naked.

Sam knew it was wrong to look at his brother like this. But he had given up a while ago on shoving down the feelings that were growing towards Dean. His eyes followed the contour of Dean's back, admiring the toned muscles. He lingered on Dean's backside, which was facing him. Recently, Sam had been admiring Dean's trim hips. Sam himself had just had a growth spurt, and he knew his hands were now big enough to fit perfectly around his brother's hips.

That thought conjured up images of Dean underneath Sam, panting as Sam dug his fingers into Dean's pretty waist. Sam felt himself growing hard and he angled his hips downward to press his dick into the mattress.

Sorry, God, came the passing thought through his brain as his hand slid downwards to assist.

The next time Dean came home in the morning, Sam was waiting for him by the door and jumped him as soon as he opened it.

"Dean, we need to talk." Sam's eyes were wide and his cheeks flushed.

"Jeez, man, let me get two steps in first," Dean complained, lowering himself to the corner of the bed to get his shoes off. "What do we need to talk about so bad?"

"I have something I need to tell you. Or ask you. I dunno." Sam plopped down beside Dean on the bed.

"Shoot," Dean said, kicking his boots to the side.

"I want you to help me get laid. With a guy," Sam added hastily. "Which, I know I was against it before, but-"

"No," Dean cut him off, getting a bubbling feeling in his chest. "No way. I am not helping you with that."

Sam frowned. "Why not? That's not fair, you were getting laid when you were fifteen-"

"That's not the problem." Dean scowled at him. "You're just doing this because you want another reason to piss Dad off, don't you?" He didn't know why he said that.

"Why? Only you're allowed to do it?" Sam a little angry now. He was getting red in his ears, something Dean always thought was cute, which is not at all what he should be thinking about right now. Get it together.

"Yeah, because I'm an adult," Dean said, instantly feeling bad for pulling that card when it wasn't the real reason at all.

"Barely," Sam muttered.

"Well, I am. Legally. So I can do things."

"No you can't, Dean! Our family is different, you know Dad has the same rules for both of us. If anyone is taking risks to piss him off, it's you! You've been sneaking out to hook up with people for months in a row now and I don't see you until the mornings. When the door opens, I have no idea if it's Dad or you. I don't know why you wanna risk punishment going out and finding guys when-" he cut himself off and covered his mouth. Said too much.

Dean knew exactly what he was going to say. Still, he had to make him say it. "What, Sam?"

Sam had paled considerably. "Nothing."

"Sam."

The poor kid started shaking. Dean held out his arms. He needed his kid to know that he was still here to make it better.

Sam leaned into Dean's arms cautiously, like he was afraid it was a ruse for Dean to hurt him. Dean just rubbed his back for a little bit, but Sam didn't stop trembling. His anxiety hadn't been this bad in a while, so Dean just kept holding him. He wasn't going to press the issue anymore; he had to let Sam recover.

Sam shuddered with a shaky inhale, and Dean realized belatedly that he was crying. Damp spots seeped through his shirt. "Sammy, it's okay."

"No it's not, Dean," Sam said brokenly. "I'm messed up in the head. I'll never be normal, I'll never be good like you, I-"

Dean shushed Sam. "Gonna stop you right there. You're more good than I'll ever be. You actually care about the effects of your actions on the world around you. I'm not like that, I'm selfish. Too selfish to realize what I was doing to you."

"You're wrong, I want to do things that are so wrong, I'm so royally screwed-"

"Sam, knock it off." Dean lowered his tone seriously.

"Dean I- I want to kiss-" Sam tried.

"Boys, I know. How many times I gotta tell you ain't nothing wrong with that?"

"You." Sam corrected.

Dean blinked. "Huh?" He wondered if this was part of his dream still. Maybe he never woke up and he was still fast asleep in some other guy's bed.

Sam sniffed and a new deluge of tears fell. "It's you, Dean. Not just any guy."

"Then how come you wanted me to help you get laid?" Dean was really confused now. He didn't seem to be dreaming, but here was his little brother, telling him that he felt the same way about Dean that Dean had been feeling for years about Sam and beating himself up over it and trying to distract himself with as many hookups as possible.

"I wanted to get experience still," Sam admitted, sniffing again. At least he wasn't sobbing anymore.

The pieces were finally falling into place for Dean. Of course Sam was mad when he went out with other guys. Sam wanted Dean to mess around with him.

Dean sighed. "Sammy, we can't-"

"I know, Dean. I don't need you to tell me how fucked up I a m."

"Don't let Dad catch you with that kinda language," Dean chuckled. "Sammy, this- it's like I'm dreaming," he said lamely.

Sam sat bolt upright. "Wait. You mean-" he froze when Dean nodded. Why not? Why not admit to your baby brother you're in love with him?

"Then kiss me," Sam begged tearfully. There were those big eyes, so sad, so pleading. "Please, I need to feel it. Tell me you love me."

"I do love you, Sammy," Dean whispered, voice suddenly gone. "I do, I do."

Sam threw his arms around Dean's neck and buried his face in the side of Dean's head. A chill ran through Dean at the wet contact of his brother's tearstained face against his ear. Sam pressed ever-closer, until Dean was forced to pull him upright into his lap. Sly kid.

Sam pulled back, straddling Dean with his knees in the mattress. He met Dean's eyes, letting his hands slide to cup Dean's face, and sank down into his brother's lips.

thanks for reading! happy birthday, nep!

#nepsbday2024 #wincest #wincest fic #weirdcest #teenchesters #weecest #supernatural #spn fanfic #samdean #sam winchester #dean winchester #wincest fanfiction

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