#neurodivergent friendly study references

[eos0anemone]

Analysis: Genshin Impact Autistic characters - KOKOMI

This is going to be a section in my blog talking about which Genshin characters I think fit very well inside the autism spectrum. If we know Hoyoverse's record, we know that they're not autism friendly (*cof cof* cure for autism in Tears of Themis *cof cof*) but well, neurotypical people accidentally writing neurodivergent characters happens a lot, and at the end of day, it is free to our own interpretation how we see them.

I want to open this section with my favourite Genshin character: Sangonomiya Kokomi. I relate to her a lot (partially the reason why I'm convinced she's autistic) but keep reading if you want to know specifically why I think she is.

INTRODUCTION

Kokomi is a 5 star character, Hydro catalyst from Inazuma. Lorewise, she is Watatsumi's Divine Priestess; in other words, the leader of Watatsumi Island, a small town that relies a lot on fishing and agriculture to subsist.

In terms of 'waifu-uwu', Kokomi is your average overworked waifu who shows a shy demeanor, steady leadership but delicate presence. Is very feminine presenting, has a quirky military side and shows a soft spot for traveller, probably because she falls in love with him too (and yeah, I talk specifically about Aether because we know who thinks this way). A lot of western people, especially men, also reduce her to this stereotype common in Genshin Impact women.

However, we can take some more steps and see in depth everything that Kokomi has to offer.

HYPERFIXATIONS

One of the aforementioned cliches is actually true: Kokomi is an overworked woman, but not in the same way as Ganyu or Keqing, for example. While they overwork themselves because they seem to enjoy being occupated or feeling useful, Kokomi's job is a responsability that she actually doesn't wan't: just by reading her voice-overs (More About Sangonomiya Kokomi: IV), we discover that what she really wanted to do was study military strategy and become an adviser.

And this is one of the most interesting points about Kokomi: she loves military strategy. While some people reduce it to a quirky trait, I think it can be clearly interpreted as an autistic hyperfixation. Not only Kokomi is presented to us as a girl who is an expert on this field (Archon quest was so horribly written that it doesn't do her justice, but canonically she is very smart and a strategy master), but she also tells us on voice-overs that she loves military books the most (Chat: Reading), and wanted it to be her full-time job.

The least we can say is that it is her passion, one that fuels her motivation so much, just like how autism or writing fuels mine to the point of wanting to work on that field and enjoying it on my spare time or when I'm regulating myself.

BURNOUT AND MASKING

In relation to the last point, there's another reason as to why Kokomi preferred to be a military advisor rather than the island leader: social interaction.

As stated in both voice-overs and her quest, social interaction exhausts Kokomi to the point she 'gets negative'. She also tells us (Sangonomiya Kokomi's Troubles) that she's not good at communicating with others, and that putting on her Divine Priestess airs helps her with it. Kokomi is a clear case of a women who does masking in order to survive socialization with other people, and in this case, her being a figure of authority well-respected and loved by her people helps her a lot with the interactions she's forced to endure day by day. I see myself on this, because I too feel more at ease interacting with other people if I have a title that gives me clues about how others will be talking to me (being the class rep, an administrator...) but it still exhausts you, and usually it is even more tiring because you have to keep up to extra expectations. The 'getting negative' references being so burn out that you can't keep masking anymore, making you seem gloomy/uninterested/rude/clueless.

In Kokomi's quest Dracaena Somnolenta, we learn that when Kokomi is too tired of social interaction, she hides for a while on a cave where she sleeps and reads books in solitude. That is decompression. All autistic people need it to regulate their bodies and mind.

For Kokomi, this decompression time is very important, but also a secret she has. Social interactions represent a sensory overload for her, and we can see it on her dialogues during Dracaena Somnolenta, especially when we go find her to the cave:

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Oh... you noticed? I guess I haven't quite mastered the ability to hide how I'm feeling. I'll keep working at it... (masking)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: To be honest, I'm not really cut out to be a leader. At first, my dream was to read up on military strategy and perhaps become an adviser. (another hint to her hyperfixation)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Constantly communicating with people, trying to retain their morale, having to read between the lines, making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve... It's such hard work. (more masking, she has to force herself to do all these things because it doesn't naturally come to her)

(...)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: So whenever I feel overwhelmed, I come here to just lose myself in a book and relax for a while... (decompression)

Kokomi also explains that she uses spoon theory to regulate her energy. Spoon theory is a method created by Miserandino and it is used to ration our energy during the day. So yeah, Kokomi literally uses for herself a method that is directed to disabled people; whether it is autistic individuals, people with chronic illneses and pain, etc.

In her case, she writes it on her diary, adding or substracting points according to the tasks she has done and the events that happened to her. Traveller, whether it be Aether or Lumine, seem to be an individual that Kokomi trusts and feels comfortable with; so much that their presence doesn't disregulate her, but actually does the opposite. I don't like to think of it as a romantic thing, but rather as a platonic neurodivergent bond that they both share with each other.

A cute detail is that she also speaks loudly about those energy points with people she trusts, like Traveller and Paimon. I think it's beautiful when neurodivergent people feel free to explain out loud the 'weird' things they do after enduring so much masking.

SENSORY REGULATION

Although I already touched the most important points as to why I think Kokomi is autistic, there are some others I want to emphasize, being one of them sensory regulation and disregulation.

Kokomi is clearly disregulated by social interaction, and uses reading books, resting alone and militar strategy as a decompression mechanism. She also enjoys diving, and as she says, it fills her heart with peace even if the world underseas isn't bright and sunny like the dry land. Water can be very pleasant for some autistic people due to the stimuli and the temperature (I, for example, love swimming but hate being wet and wrinkled afterwards), and I like to think that, when Kokomi is at her limit, she goes diving to calm her mind (this is a headcanon lol, unless I missed something on lore).

Kokomi also dislikes seafood (fish, crustaceans...) and it's funny because I also hate seafood due to it's texture and flavour. Her favourite food, Bird Egg Sushi, is described by her as both 'simple' and 'simple to prepare'. Now I could be analyzing too deeply, but autism and sensory problems with food usually go hand in hand, making us prefer the simplest food possible and avoiding dishes with too much things on them, strong flavours or unpredictable textures... So yeah, Kokomi also fits this.

JUSTICE AND MORALS

Kokomi is leader of Watatsumi Island and goes against the Vision Hunt Decree that Raiden Shogun imposes on Inazuma. As she states on her voice-over (About Raiden Shogun) she doesn't feel rightfully to categorize or criticize Raiden Shogun's actions as good or bad. However, as she fights against it for the welfare of her people, we can assure that she does fight back against things she considers an injustice, even if it burns her out; just because that's what is right.

She also shows a great worry about all her people. If it's raining, she thinks about the fishermans who may not be able to return. The soldiers that died under her charge are in her mind even when she has agreed to not talk about them out loud. That should ideally be the average prototype of a leader, but just by watching Raiden Shogun we can agree that it is, in fact, not it. Seeing Kokomi, a woman who dislikes social interaction and burns herself to fulfill her duty, being at the same time so empathetic, considerate and kind to her people is something I see in a lot of neurodivergent people. The urge to please and help others the best you can do, even if it means sacrificing yourself in the process; not healthy at all, but so pure at the same time.

Kokomi also says something interesting on one of her voice-overs (Chat: Fish) which is that 'respect must be given to the will of every creature'. It is no mistery that she loves sea creatures so much, and I also think that the reason she dislikes seafood is because of this same thought about respecting all lives in nature. Not a very important point, but worth to mention.

I think I covered all the points I wanted to talk about, but if I forgot about anything, I'll update the analysis and add it.

There are a lot of characters I want to talk about apart from Kokomi (Albedo, Alhaitham, Sucrose, Freminet, Fischl, Noelle, Chongyun, Shenhe...) but I will take it slow to bring them all here. Autism spectrum is so colorful and endless that each character has significant but different traits, and I'll cover them up little by little.

This is the end of the post, I will return tomorrow with more things to say.

But here's a little cute Kokomi ❤️

[faithfromanewperspective]

the western sydney work ethic, mental health, burnout, inequality and ableism

inspired by ashton irwin on artist friendly with joel madden and 17902 sustainable urban development at the university of technology sydney

I’ve teased the idea of writing this post for a while now, and now I’m sitting in my borrowed bed in Sydney with the graphs and maps from my course still at the back of my eyelids and still processing the Vibes of catching up with my childhood friends and wondering if it’s too early to go to bed if the sun’s still up—it’s time to let it out. Because I found a bunch of seemingly unrelated things and put them together in a way that helped me process my upbringing and the way it’s positioned me as I go through life even now.

For background of this post, the Greater Sydney metropolis has a very stark rich/poor divide, where a large strip from the west going to the south of the city have been left behind in a variety of ways. In my uni course I see the maps on income, education level, job overqualification, crime, violence… they’re nice and set out, and they validate what I already intuitively knew—just like everyone who grew up in the area I’m going to refer to vaguely as Western Sydney. These graphs put words to something I’ve lived when I was too young to process it, something I hear the impacts of in 5 seconds of summer’s songs like I’ve never seen in any other art ever.

I know many people relate too and I don’t want to say you have to be from Western Sydney to get it. There are plenty of other places with similar trends, but this strip of suburbs, half a city, is where I grew up and the case study I’m going to use for the phenomenon I’m going to describe in this post.

Having spent the last decade and a bit in a more conservative, more sheltered area of suburban Brisbane, where people take it slow and at least attempt to have fun without getting completely wasted; where people have high expectations for their lives and livelihoods they never quite meet and where they’re the kind of emotionally aware that you hear all about how stressful that experience is: this was the backdrop of my teens and young adult years to this point. It’s where I learned about mental health and neurodivergence and ableism and where I really explored what faith and spirituality is to me. It’s where I never quite felt comfortable when people were too polite, where I poured all the belief they had in me as a gifted kid plonked into that environment I wasn’t native to into the delusion that I could deconstruct the unequal education system of their own creation if I only worked harder than anyone had ever worked before. Then they would finally listen. It’s where I tried and tried to get help for my mental health and wasn’t listened to either, not when I presented so well and was simply unable to unmask until I was unable to mask at all. Where the slightest bit of hope caused me to forget everything that was hurting me, making it a struggle to work through even to this day. where I wondered if I was some superhuman for the fact that I can work my ass off without even realising it’s hard work, a smile on my face and arms open for connection as always (the mark of health they say) while being desperately unwell, hurting, thinking I had it good compared to some of the people I’d see crumple under the pressure, I should be kind to them (not understanding why I found them so, so relatable).

I am not a freak of nature, or superhuman, though I am neurodivergent and twice-exceptional. I am the product of my upbringing and my ancestors. I carry generations of culture from hectares of foreign lands my ancestors made their homes on (ethically questionably in some cases I do acknowledge) and became part of the ecosystem of. It is, like most difference, a gift and a curse. Something that makes certain measures of ableism not apply to me, but creates others in their place. I’ll get into this more later.

in the strip of suburbs united by demographics we call Western Sydney, farmers from the notoriously difficult land of the Murray-Darling and immigrants from everywhere on the planet, some Indigenous but few Indigenous to Australia, make up classrooms, neighbourhoods, workplaces. Think I Am Australian by The Seekers, but just the verses, as a snapshot of some of the stories representative of the people. Interwoven in the landscape. We celebrated Harmony Day on the 21st of March in my primary school. Everyone had a different cultural background. We heard different languages spoken on the street. There were stereotypes. There were scared people trying to find their tribe, build a life in Australia, away from the larger scale farms, get their kids a good education to do a trade or go to university. Fear and angst and hurt coexisting with an appreciation of the juxtaposition of others you’d never head admitted out loud. But the second verse of the Australian national anthem was written just for us, or might as well have been. Beneath our radiant southern cross, we’ll toil with hearts and hands… google the lyrics, you’ll get it, you’ll see why I wish the rest of Australia did too: for those who’ve come across the seas, we’ve boundless plains to share, with courage let us all combine to advance Australia fair…

No one with the power to acknowledge this I interact with these days remembers the second verse. Except 5 Seconds Of Summer, in their ridiculous little promo videos, who I’d bet the rubble that’s left of my parents’ old house as the new owners turn it into a mansion because Gentrification, have no idea of what a meaningful gesture that is.

I can feel the wounds of being torn from the good parts of that experience closing over. And so it’s time to give the often forgotten stories on an often forgotten piece of land that made me and also these four wonderful humans who we are today, the credit it deserves. Start by telling our stories.

One thing I love about Artist Friendly is it cuts straight to it. Joel Madden is just incredible like that—in a world coming out of the 2010s pop decade of dancing while the room is on fire (bloodhound, 5sos) put your rose coloured glasses on and party on (Katy Perry’s chained to the rhythm) (these I would consider more analytical quotes of the era, one whose vibe was ‘forget all the pain in the world, let’s party and sing about how horny we are’ which for all my cynicism I did find fun)—he kept up his punk edge, kept investing in new musicians, searching for and investing in what’s real. He also really loves Australia, and when you put our underdog-supporting attitude next to Good Charlotte’s songs you understand why. Anyway, the episode pretty much opens by him asking Ashton about his background, and relating from the perspective of working-class-emotionally-unavailable/immature-parents-who-showed-their-love-through-provision-and-really-did-try-to-be-there-but-had-none-of-the-resources. I like the positive take. It’s high time we stop being classist and ableist towards the people who’ve met our needs as much as they were able, but it still wasn’t enough. Who taught us how to take opportunities, work to prove our worth, and through it all couldn’t even afford therapy.

I used to think my family was rich because we lived in Australia and my parents had gone to university. Never mind the fact that I was born when they were barely older than I am now. Never mind the mould in the walls or sneaky Tuesday night washing of the school uniforms in the summer when we got sweaty and there weren’t any spares or the mismatched bargain bin clothes we wore or the bedroom I shared with my sisters. I knew the people I compared us to. And now I do really believe if I’d grown up a bit less frugal or even a few k’s out of the area I did I wouldn’t be who I am. I wouldn’t have the perspectives I have, nor would this podcast episode have me feeling so seen. Like, yes I lived a bit further into the city than these guys, close to the train line without any farmland where the house values shot up seemingly overnight and meant the area I grew up in is experiencing a very weird disparity as two cities collide within it today. But we grew up in the same era in western sydney, we grew up loved and knowing that was a privilege and we grew up knowing from a very young age we had to spend our whole lives working hard if we wanted life to be manageable and we better be polite and better not ask for too much.

yet we also grew up with hurt. From the trauma we inherited from our caregivers as we encountered the attitudes and fears with which they faces the world. From what we saw our peers go through much too young to be able to draw boundaries with the empathy we felt too much of and understood nothing of. From broken family relationships that were all too common. From religion that hurting people used to cause or at least stagnate hurt instead of healing.

when I was burning out and struggling as an unrecognised neurodivergent I used to wonder why my father would place such value on the Protestant work ethic when Jesus died exactly so we wouldn’t have to strive. And I acknowledge that the PWE is harmful to many disabled folk or literally anyone who has experienced the demands of life and had their stress invalidated for it. Including myself. But never having the expectation of a life of ease and luxury? I do appreciate that. It’s given me a whole different metric for how I view life, one none of my friends except those who are from those years of my life understand. No one in Brisbane or my online international friends seem to get it. But I’m sure when you see yourself in this post, that some of you will (we might be the largely unheard minority but I’m sure we exist. Joel Madden is proof of that). It’s given me a differently calibrated emotional pain scale in many ways. Different standards for when the warning lights come on (and I’m very perceptive of angst and disappointment and always see them in others to be worse than they are because of it). And when I look at everything this band has accomplished, I know it’s the same for them.

I have spent a lot of time these last years advocating for neurodivergent acceptance. I’ve done so in a way that made sense of the decade previous, of existing in a world of inequality I’ve always been so sensitive to and of expectations that I took on as opportunities (because what else have I been trained to do)? And yet so much of it is about funding and resources. And when there isn’t that? You make room for my favourite thing ever: grassroots, unofficial but beautifully organic loving neurodivergent affirmation. Plenty of rural folks, my grandparents included, hate labels, prefer focusing on strengths and equipping young people based on those than accommodating difficulties. They’re often seen as conservative, bigoted, ableist, and some of them are. But they bring with them an important lesson about how to live with the realities of the economy that they struggle in too, too much to support someone else. They don’t have the same impossible expectations of their neurodivergent progeny and protegees and community members that many who hold in their heads an idea of perfection they hope to bring to their families do (the kind of things sometimes only a diagnosis can free someone from, and nothing from the memory and shame of) and that—that is an important attitude for all of us to have.

Some people are unconventionally neurodivergent affirming while knowing none of the terms, or maybe trying to hold off using them because of the same economic and confidence reasons I’ve tried to unpack. Some rely on simple kindnesses and explanations that centre around possibility, and go nowhere near deficit. Some people know intuitively or through hard life lessons themselves (usually the latter) the value of stripping all but essentials from the functionality of everyday life. Not making it any harder than it is.

Of course you can drum on the tables in math class. My son is a musician, I get how it is.

Liz Hemmings is the only valid neurodivergence parent—I’ll say no more, it is how it is

Sometimes when we advocate for things we have to be aware that the way the dominant in-power often wealthy culture has figured it out isn’t always the best way to do things. Environmentalism is a prime example of this. This is why we need brown environmentalism and to decolonise and listen to our Indigenous stewards and share power.

You can take a lot of lessons from a place that’s as culturally diverse as Western Sydney. And you can see how a work ethic is facilitated, rather than gatekept. You can see why Ash, when asked by Joel if he’s scared of every getting back to that life (ref to poverty) his attitude is actually one of gratitude and almost reverence for the place that shaped him, that brought the band together and everything that came from that point forwards. That shaped their attitude and birthed the grit that got them through being on tour with one direction and I don’t think he said it but in Ash’s case I bet the empathy he has for the fans and the way he just wants to connect and create a fun experience but also one where we’re deeply seen by moving songs is because he knows what it’s like for so many people. You can’t not if you grew up like we did. You can see why Luke at any chance will say ‘we’re from Sydney Australia’. It has a way of sticking to you, the rich culture that’s a patchwork of orphaned cultures, the way everyday life is like one of those adventures you emerge from with strong bonds usually only found in fantasy novels. You can see that the band is proof that those bonds exist in real life.

after a decade and a bit pretending I know what leisure is and how to have fun without Bad Angst I’m glad that this proof is still in my life. I’ve still got close friends from primary school and few can boast that (we might not quite be Calum and Michael in that regard, but they still have other friends from primary who they’ve kept in touch with despite geographical separation as I have).

Now I’ve acknowledged this and traced the strings that are much easier to see when my own life is mirrored in a podcast episode, maybe I can find the good among the cultural dysphoria in the circles I do have in Brisbane, and do value still for what they are even if they’re not quite the same. Now that I can see how a world of too many opportunities and not enough freedom can burn someone out who came from this background, with the type of brain that flourishes on being a latchkey kid and sketchy hangouts with deep conversations and questionable substances but crumples under expectation and too much choice and politeness, I can put my life back together in a way that validates who I am and where I come from, rather than what those around me tell me should be good for me.

as, I can tell by this interview, these guys have. I want to be able to talk about suffering without people acting like it shouldn’t be something we can comfortably say out loud, as Ashton does here and through music. My art isn’t quite the same, but the purpose behind it is so, so similar. I relate a lot to the importance he places on spirituality, even if I’ve tried to do something with Christianity that it, in the mainstream at least, isn’t built for and probably can only partially do on its own. Maybe the epitome of humility is being able to learn from other religions and see them as gifts from God even as, and I include Christianity here as well, anything can be dangerous if used in a way that it wasn’t meant for: anything with power to heal has power or hurt too. I’ve got so much respect for how Ash does it. I think this episode really cemented for me that, and I feel like it’s something we as a fandom don’t talk about enough because of their characterisation (and fair enough, if you’re famous you don’t want people dissecting every part of you, and I’m not going to do that just give a generalised compliment): these guys are so incredibly resilient and intelligent and invested in creating healing and they’re really fucking good at it. They might present themselves as goofs with one braincell that create bops and fan over other celebrities as if they themselves aren’t famous too, but so much of that is humility and them baring themselves in ways that are sustainable and really emotionally mature (for the most part) to be relatable to us as fans and invest in making that connection genuine. They’re not pretending, because they understand how it is to be human.

and you don’t get there by being some sort of Untouchable Philosophical Genius Figure. you get there because you’ve lived in community and you’ve survived hard things because of other people who’ve done similar and created authentic art too. You get there often because you have to: because putting on a fake show and doing stuff for likes and popularity was never going to work and will only screw you up in the long run and you’re worldly enough to see that from a young age and learn from your own intuition and empathy and experiences. You get there because you lived your whole life being resourceful and being street smart and doing what it takes to make good decisions and invest in yourself (who else do you have who’s worth more than that) and your future. Doing what it takes to make sure you’re alive to learn how to do better at things you’re behind in that might keep food on the table in the future, because there’s none of that oh-it-won’t-happen-to-me attitude. That part is very sustainable which I love. I also really really relate to it and have found it something I would get complimented on when I was younger, too young to be so mature. But I never attributed it to myself. I knew somehow, abstractly, I was disabled and nearing my limit and everything I do I did so I could survive. It’s the western Sydney work ethic.

and yet this often beautiful phenomenon has its ugly side. If you know you’re neurodivergent even without the words—more often than not the only people you see who you relate to are those who didn’t make it, who fell off the horse of functionality and into things like addiction and other things that exacerbate the inability to empower yourself. You figure that when you’re honest with yourself you’ll be dead by 25. Sometimes you give up on trying to prevent that and wonder if it’s even worth it to attempt to keep going: is your life really worth that effort?? What I’ve described is a combination of the experiences of many people I know, aspects of it are mine, and aspects mirror things I know these guys have mentioned about themselves (I’m going to leave it at that vague level of detail). You wonder why people believe in you, is it only because any other option is unmentionable? But what if you let them down like you know (fear) you will? And burnout is the epitome of this: the need to let go of trying. And without a decent amount of privilege it’s impossible to return from.

I’ve been there and scrounged at straws of privilege I do have, pretending I’m doing my job to the level that others expect while letting go of every expectation I have on myself. Still problem solving outside every box on how to get back on my feet because I know nothing else, radically accepting that I might not and whittling down all my needs in life to the most essential, that I might still survive even at my limited and diminishing capacity. While always relating to those our society sees as failures. I’ve borrowed from other cultures that aren’t my own to have a stubborn sense of worth while trying to keep afloat in a society and economy that says it’s conditional. My spirituality comes in here, as do my problem-solving skills: again, maybe this culture fears burnout more than anything, but maybe it has half a toolkit on how to get out of it. Only half. I have to pair it with what I learn from others too.

and even through that, I’m immensely privileged to have savant skills and a generally able body. Just like when you make it big as a musician you’re privileged by that. Against a backdrop of I’m-nothing-special. I’ve always struggled with questions of my felt worth, because I’m so conscious of my privilege and ability that sometimes I get the two muddled (though I know my ability doesn’t define my worth in things I do poorly at, and my persistence technically doesn’t either but I’ll be damned if I don’t try and try and actually find doing badly more validating of how I see myself than when I do well, so I chase it again and again, my dad is the same, it’s what makes us so adventurous). I understand the consciousness of things that are going well not lasting, and pouring creativity for new ventures into things like selling candles. Instead of letting achievements make me believe I’m someone more important than I am, using them as ways of giving myself space to do whatever’s next, dial off the pressure a little bit.

I understand appreciating others’ sensitivity and the social capital they bring everywhere rather than their material wealth or achievement and when Ash praised Calum for that and said it made him look bad I felt that. Both the experience of being that counter-cultural person who doesn’t give a shit about money but values connection so, so much more (and from all I’ve written, you can see why, can’t you) to still never being able to be as good a person as I see the need for in the world.

I understand missing family and constantly grieving that, as I weigh up the city of my childhood with the friends and culture I love versus the city of my youth with my feathered family who are my children and who I hate to miss birthdays of and the like, same goes for my sisters and parents and grandparents, the way Ashton, the only band member with younger siblings, hates missing all their milestones too. I feel privileged that Brisbane and Sydney are so close to each other and nothing in my life is as far as Los Angeles. I understand the nostalgia for Sydney. This whole post is proof of it.

I understand the unbreakable bonds between people who make this kind of art together. I understand putting disagreements on the back burner and realising the connection through writing is so much bigger and the connection can overcome whatever is going wrong. Heck, I feel privileged to understand and relate to how such brilliant brains work (nature: neurodivergence I won’t go any further into as well as nurture) as well as the environment that made them what they are.

all my life I’ve longed for that kind of community and connection I’ve seen largely in fiction, sometimes between people in real life. And I think having written this analysis (it’s taken me til my bedtime or later) I do have all the ingredients there. All the ability to make it, both in the practical way I relate to and am there for my friends and whatever I do in my silver bridges tag. In the neighbourhoods I eventually design that foster communities with all the good parts I’ve described but without the inequality and minimal poverty and hurt and violence. To everyone who’s shown me these things in myself that are so worth working for and I know I’m not savantly immediately good at, I am so so incredibly grateful. the city as a whole. My family and friends. The celebrities I grew up nearby and those who invest in people like them. People like me. May I keep investing in people: people like you. because what is humility but knowing there’s always something to learn, and what will bring all of us forward but learning it and putting it into practice in love and empathy that drives a grit that no amount of striving for striving’s sake can manufacture?

[dadsbongos]

the higher up a fic is, the newer and more accurate it is to my current writing style (re: older = more cringe)

fics with obvious references to sex are not marked +18 because it feels redundant, but they are still meant for +18 audience. fics/blurbs that don't specify smut in the title are marked +18 for clarity's sake

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eddie munson

-MASTERLIST: ex-potential boyfriend (10 things i hate about you) Jim Hopper places a new rule against dating for both his adopted daughters - Eleven can’t date if you don’t - and Mike hires Eddie Munson to get around it. Unfortunately for Eddie, you are renowned by peers for being a horrid shrew.

-fanservice pride fic written during '23 pride because i needed a bisexual eddie to come out as bisexual to when i Realized(TM)

-he's in a band You and Eddie are forced to team up and make him into Snowflake King material so that you can beat Jason Carver in a bet (for fifty bucks and the success of Lucas Sinclair’s high school basketball career).

-unusually short eddie fic for valentine's day After being stood up on a Valentine’s picnic date, a friendly neighbor boy comes to end the embarrassment.

-eddie/s.o with goldenhar syndrom you’re waiting to go into reconstructional surgery, and your boyfriend - Eddie - won’t stop trying to read your patient form.

-freak’s church Eddie Munson has been trying to court you in his own special way since kindergarten and now he may finally get a chance thanks to Mrs. O'Donnell’s stupid poetry contest.

-1988 VAMPIRE ORGY TOUR While on tour with Corroded Coffin, Eddie can’t help but notice that at every stop - from Indianapolis to San Diego - he happens to run into you.

-monachopsis Eddie gets severely jealous of Dustin’s babysitter, but then he meets you and finds that you two are similarly wired (neurodivergent and misunderstood in the 80s).

-the third (feat. chrissy cunningham [smut ramblings mdni]) part one part two part three

-self-indulgent blurb of eddie meeting hopper you bring Eddie home to meet your adoptive father, Jim Hopper.

-skipping through a john hughes’ movie Your Home Economics teacher assigns a project - take care of an egg for a full week and present it. You end up paired with Eddie “the freak” Munson. At least your best friend, Chrissy, seems excited for you.

-the cheerleader you hate you, a hot cheerleader, are put into a group project with Eddie, a hot nerd, that requires a visit to the Hawkins’ art museum. Neither of you does a very good job of hiding your secret friendship, or your feelings for each other.

-the geekification of chrissy cunningham (feat. chrissy cunningham) phase one - weed and puppy love phase two - beating the shit out of her ex phase three - obligatory and unabashed epilogue (and smut [mdni]) Following her public break-up with Jason Carver, Chrissy Cunningham finds comfort and affection in two of Hawkins' most renowned freaks. Coincidentally, you and your boyfriend, Eddie, both seem to have a crush on the poor girl.

-within six days 1 - “Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?” 2 - “O, I am Fortune’s fool!” 3 - “O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art as glorious to this night.” 4 - “Juliet is the sun.“

5 - “For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.” 6 - “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” 7 - “O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” 8 - “Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.” You, the valedictorian to-be, and Eddie, the bimbo pothead, start studying together so he can graduate. In return, he shows you a more “wild” life.

-the one and only Eddie picks you up from a party when you’re on a bad high and then you two agree to go on a date the next day.

.

chrissy cunningham

-the third (feat. eddie munson [+18!]) part one part two part three

-slumber party (+18!) Chrissy comes to Corroded Coffin’s show and then makes the hot bassist (you) cum (you teach her how). -part 2 (+18!)

-why did you ask me out? 1 - the setup 2 - just how it used to be 3 - heartbroken but alive 4 - evil trance 5 - background characters to commercial lines You and Chrissy are long-lost best friends that join sides to pull one over on the girls hoping to make you prom queen as a bet. Things don’t always go to plan - sometimes you realize you’re in love and sometimes the girls shoot back at you.

-the geekification of chrissy cunningham (feat. eddie munson) phase one - weed and puppy love phase two - beating the shit out of her ex phase three - obligatory and unabashed epilogue (and smut [mdni]) Following her public break-up with Jason Carver, Chrissy Cunningham finds comfort and affection in two of Hawkins' most renowned freaks. Coincidentally, you and your boyfriend, Eddie, both seem to have a crush on the poor girl.

.

robin buckley

-like batman! You and Robin get Kill Bill teenager-style revenge on Jason Carver and his friends after they spread a nasty rumor about you. Sapphic ways ensue (Do Revenge but a little gay).

-slender aphrodite has overcome me You and Robin were supposed to work on a chemistry project, but then she takes you to Lovers’ Lake. Also, Eddie supports lesbians.

.

steve harrington

-steve harrington loses his mojo Steve and you are both depressed kids working towards nothing specific. Maybe you should kiss (AKA a convoluted three times Steve watches his friends be in happy relationships and the one time he gets into one).

horror movie collection (halloween special) -includes American Psycho, Halloween, Scream, Friday the 13th, Fear Street, and Jennifer's Body

[art-of-mathematics]

Hello! I was wondering what textbooks you would recommend for someone looking to get into mathematical proofs and introductory physics. I don't have physics in my courses this year so any notes would be helpful. Thanks!

Hello there!

I am glad you approached my ask box (or me).

Unfortunately I may not have the answers you might be searching, but I found Keith Devlin's book Introduction to Mathematical Thinking helpful as an intro. (It's neither a textbook nor is it exactly about mathematical proofs.)

Do my fellow math peers here know some good textbooks and want to share? Please feel free to reblog with some infos and references. (I would like to know some good books about mathematical proofs as well.)

As for physics I consider the Feynman lectures merely well-written.

[Caltech has uploaded the Feynman lectures as digital format/website:]

Another source I enjoy is Hyperphysics. [... although it is not a textbook either, but a good website]

It's a very neat and very basic html website with many good javascript boxes to directly play with some equations, as well as it contains well-summarized information and an overall good visualization and explanation of the concepts.

The mindmaps with topics (and sub-topics) are clickable:

Sub-topics are chunked into well-summarized: boxes:

And the plain/simple javascript forms are helpful for getting a quick intuitive feeling for the concepts when playing around:

(It helps me to make it compatible with my imagination. I don't know if other people might find this helpful as well.)

I consider this website merely neurodivergent-friendly, as it's well-summarized, well-structured, well-visualized, chunked, minimalist and quick-to-the-point, while also using very basic design, which makes it quick to load as well as more minimalist to look at - meaning less distraction and more focus for the depicted topics/concepts.

And you have an index window on the side which you can close:

[diaryofadaringwitch]

3 Tips for Neurodivergent Witches

My craft changed significantly following my ADHD diagnosis almost 4 years ago. I was suddenly given this new frame of reference that helped me understand that I wasn't struggling because I was wrong/bad/lazy, but because I wasn't using the right tool set. With this new awareness, I was able to adjust my practice in order to best fit my brain, rather than exhaust myself trying to do things the way you're "supposed to".

Important Note: I'm ADHD, specifically the combination inattentive/hyperactive presentation. But I do experience a lot of the symptoms that fall under the overlap between ADHD & autism. That's why this is deliberately called 'Neurodivergent Witch Tips' and not simply 'ADHD Witch Tips'.

Tip #1: Use Medication as an Anchor Point

It's difficult for ND brains to maintain consistent routines, but daily medication can be a great way to establish a daily habit within your practice. It's much easier to form a new habit by linking it to one that already exists.

So when you take your meds- pull a tarot card, pray, practice grounding, make a libation or other offering, set your intention for the day, etc. Start small, don't try to do an entire ritual every time you take your meds. Once that habit is strong, you can add more onto it.

I also intentionally leave my medication on my altar. Apollo is a God of healing and medicine; by taking my medication at His altar, it's my way of showing devotion by taking care of myself in the best way possible. Our deities want us to thrive and our mental health is part of that.

Tip #2: Integrate Hyper-fixations & Special Interests

ND brains don't really have a meh setting. We're either fully invested or not interested. As a result, we can pick up new skills and knowledge fairly quickly. We have a wide range of interests and tend to know a good amount about a lot of different things.

And witches are curious by nature. We're always studying, always developing ourselves and our craft. So what aspects of that hyper-fixation could you use in your practice?

"Kate, are you seriously suggesting I try to integrate Minecraft or insects or cross-stitch or true crime into witchcraft?"

Hell yeah! I love playing Dungeons & Dragons- so why can't I do luck spells on my dice or draw protection sigils on my character sheets or create spells to amplify my creativity and storytelling? Why not? Imagine how much more powerful your magic will be when you're working with things that are truly meaningful to you.

(Side note- for my neurotypical witches, ask your ND friend to tell you about their special interests. Listen and ask questions. Getting to talk freely about something that we're excited about without worrying if we're being annoying or "too much" is an absolute gift.)

Tip #3: Design Your Practice to be ND-friendly

One of my favorite Youtubers has a running theme of how to make our lives and homes ADHD friendly, which you can watch here. And this idea of building our craft around our brain makes a huge impact by removing the limits of 'how' we can practice.

Break spells or rituals into more manageable parts if you're worried about maintaining focus for that length of time. Include your fidgets or sensory aids in your ritual materials. They are just as sacred- using what you need will not negatively impact the spell.

If you struggle to regularly maintain wards or protections, try using protection sigils with masking tape or sticky notes. I really like using these for sigils in general because I can move them easily and stick them anywhere I need. And if they no longer stick, that's a good sign that they need to be redone.

This can take a lot of trial and error to find what really works for you, but it is worth it. Please don't get discouraged or frustrated with yourself.

Almost everything in our world is built in a way that actively goes against how our brains are structured. Your spiritual practice should be something you don't have to fight with your brain to participate in. It should remove stress, not increase it.

These adjustments don't make you a lesser witch, it doesn't make your magic less effective. On the contrary, using your strengths and making the best choices for you is an incredibly powerful mindset for a witch.

I hope this helps! If any other neurodivergent witches have tips, please share through reblogging or send me a message because I'd love to hear them and maybe try them for myself.

Brightest of blessings!- Kate

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Excerpt#1 of my Gerry Keay/OC Magical/Mythical CollegeAU

CN/TW: Social Anxiety, discussion of mental illness, discussion of past trauma, awkward coming-out, miscommunication, misunderstanding, it/its pronouns for Michael Shelley, he/they pronouns for Gerry, they/them pronouns for OC, narrative mention of Mary Keay, mention of alcohol, mythical people living in a parallel society and amongst humans, original character talking German (two sentences; extrapolable from context)

“But sure, you're seeming nice so no problem.” Heaving a relieved sigh, Gerry followed them into the room. The two taking seats in the lower rows of the auditorium, seeing as Gerry’s companion wore glasses. Unpacking their notepads, pencil cases, and Gerry setting up his laptop. There was still time until the lecture was set to begin, so Gerry turned to his table neighbour,

“Your look sends very mixed signals, if I’m being honest.” They grinned, propping their chin up on the back of their hand,

“All the right ones, apparently”, demonstratively looking Gerry up and down. Making them look away, clearing his throat. They laughed,

“Not flirting, don’t worry. I’m Yanis.” He tried masking his relieved sigh best they could,

“Gerry.”

They did pay attention to the lecture, still, Gerry found out a bit more about his dyed ginger saviour. Yanis was in the same semester and some of the same courses has he was. Though they didn’t study for the same engineering degree, there was a decent overlap. Some courses Gerry needed for his software engineering degree much the same as Yanis needed for mechanical engineering. They easily offered they could study together. Yanis having been at the campus since they started their degree and knowing the ins and outs of it.

Having easily found common ground in their discipline of study, as well as their taste in music, Gerry had no qualms following Yanis to the canteen for a late breakfast. They kept chatting, switching back and forth between languages.

“So what if you’re 31?”, Yanis shrugged,

“I also had to take care of my health first. Plus we’re both neurodivergent so starting a college degree at all is more stressful to us. It’s not like anyone is rushing you.” Gerry rolled their eyes,

“Still. Being autist and depressed doesn’t exactly help my case here. That’s ignoring the ADHD and trauma.” A painted-black nail flicked his nose,

“Nope. None of that, you’re not demanded to keep pace with anyone and if your personal reasons bared you from even looking into college education until you were 25, then that’s how it is. Besides, it’s eight years between us. Don’t be dramatic.” Gerry tried to glare but they simply raised a brow in challenge, shutting him right up. While they weren’t in the same major, they compared their course schedules some more and found they were in the same philosophy and ethics courses for their minor. Gerry having decided to not put that on hold and taking the according courses in his semester in Germany as well.

By the end of the day, Gerry felt they had a better handle on his new college-everyday and possibly even made a friend. Which raised a few problems all of its own.

While Gerry had no problem with Yanis finding out what concretely had delayed his life so much, they had another problem. Gerry wasn’t human. And neither was their best friend Michael, for the matter, it being a changeling and his nature chaotic to a fault. Gerry themself was, depending on what one believed, involuntarily threatening to humans.

His mother having been a hulder, a mythical being almost looking like a human. The feature most telling of their mythical nature, though, the fact that they look hollow if seen in the right light, from the right angle. Akin to forest spirits, hulders were drawn by their nature to lure townspeople into forests. Not inherently malicious, of course, their blonde hair and fair skin drawing mostly men in.

With an established mythical society existing in parallel to the non-magical human society, there were laws and proper paperwork surrounding magical and mythical people’s “otherness” and characteristics.

Characteristics which were the life-long obsession of his mother. Her trying to create offspring of her own that would be inherently dangerous to humans and as malicious as she had been. Gerry hated thinking about his father almost more than he hated his mother. But matter of fact was, being half-hulder, and his father having been a river-nix, Gerry was… alluring. Drawing people in without them realising as much if he acted the wrong kind of way towards them. Gerry forced to be constantly mindful of their nature, as to not accidentally harm someone.

Which was why they usually didn’t make friends. Having to make sure the person wasn’t human as to not endanger them.

And yet, they got stuck with Yanis. Gerry was glad it was autumn, the chance of light hitting him in just the wrong way dwindling. But he couldn’t help their worried unease, recognising Yanis and them grew closer.

It wasn’t that Gerry was set out to avoid Yanis, having taken them up on an invitation to lunch and even to revise notes and study together. But Gerry had a bad feeling about it, especially when he grew to see them as a friend. They did try bringing some more distance between them, an attempt so he didn’t need to outright evade Yanis. Declining their invitations more often than not, excusing themself and finding reasons to convince himself it was the right thing to do.

Having forced himself to take a step back, Gerry caught themself looking for them. It had started so he could more easily get around them, trying to deter Yanis from inviting him in the first place so they didn’t have to turn them down as often.

Gerry wasn’t oblivious to their whole demeanour getting muted once it had clicked that he was trying to push distance between them. But seeing Yanis less cheery and energetic made Gerry realise some things about them.

Yanis wasn’t much smaller than him, a few inches at most. But they carried themself in a way that made them stand out. Gerry had learned Yanis had chronic pain, making it hard on them to be on their feet the entire day. Rarely, they wore leg braces, limiting their range of motion further than their chronic pain already did. Still, Yanis was confident and most days glossing over their frequent aches with relative ease. It had been more apparent when they hadn’t been upset but the way Yanis walked was… with purpose. Every step seeming deliberate and not to be questioned. While that cocksure confident way to carry oneself wasn’t all that remarkable, it stood out in Yanis.

And Gerry needed a good long while to figure out why.

Michael had badgered them to get out and socialise. It was the last week before winter break and there was a social happening of the engineering faculty. Gerry had put on a nice button shirt and proper slacks before touching up their black nail polish and putting on a hint of eyeliner.

Yes, he was cautious not to accidentally draw humans in but that didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to tart themself up. Gerry hadn’t even really planned to talk to anyone, if they were being honest. Just mingling among people and feeling alone in the crowd instead of feeling alone by himself.

That was, until aquamarine and black varnished fingers held a bottle in his field of vision. Gerry couldn’t fight down his smile before closing their eyes. Shaking his head, they just let it happen. Let that gentle affection wash over him for just a moment.

“Thought you might be here tonight”, Yanis held out the drink,

“The crown cap is still sealed.” Gerry pulled a face as to not smile despite themself. He sighed,

“You’re quite persistent.” Yanis raised a rather expressive brow at him,

“If you honestly wanted me gone, you would have told me. So I dare say you don’t want me completely gone. It’s nice having someone who can keep up with my ADHD jumping through topics, plus being able to overlook what allistics call me weird for.” When he finally took the bottle, their smile turned from friendly to bright. He bit his lip, trying to hide it behind the bottle. Yanis offered them their bottle opener.

“Got me there. And yes, having a neurodivergent friend is quite unwinding”, he admitted. Opening the drink, Gerry took them in. A proper once-over. They weren’t primped either but certainly had put thought into their casual suit not clashing with their once-again stark-red hair. Gerry having seen Yanis cycling through vibrant red washing out to ginger, before they went back to dyed poppy-red.

Gerry felt admittedly awkward standing together with them. Very much aware of how they had avoided them after all. Nursing their drinks, they kept quiet. Even though Gerry noticed Yanis also taking in his appearance. After some time he sighed,

“I’m sorry. It’s…”, they broke off, shaking his head.

“Complicated?”, Yanis offered with a huff,

“That’s one way to put it, I suppose.” Gerry raised a brow at them. Before he could ask what they were referring to, though, Yanis turned to him properly.

“Did you notice there’s a dance floor?” They blinked in surprise,

“Uh… yea, I did.” Yanis snorted, taking his empty bottle from them and depositing the glass on a nearby tray for used tableware.

“So, can you dance?”, Yanis’ smile inviting and warm,

“And would you dance with me?” Gerry froze, biting his lip and looking away. He knew they shouldn’t. They were very much aware that Yanis needed to keep their distance from him. He swallowed thickly,

“I can dance but…” Yanis hummed expectantly.

“We shouldn’t, okay? I don’t want to elaborate on that.” Yanis’ face cleared as they gave a soft ‘oh’ of understanding.

When Gerry looked back at them, Yanis was looking at them. The expression in their eyes making him pause. A glint of intent, resolve. But their overall demeanour had changed as well. That deliberate way they carried themself was back, not in a way that intimidated. But even standing next to Gerry, he could see they were moving with an intent, with a conscious focus on the way they moved to get there.

Yanis licked their lip,

“I will respect your turndown. But I would like you to know that I know.” Gerry froze. Raising a brow, Yanis’ tone turned gentler still,

“And I really don’t want to push you towards anything. Or put you up to anything.” Gerry felt his amusement bubbling up when Yanis said as much. The idea of someone human inciting a mythical or magical person to anything at all seemed a bit laughable.

“I’m aromantic myself”, they shrugged,

“And asexual.” Their smile turning into a bit of a smirk, cheeky just around the edges. Gerry’s face cleared in surprise, his jaw dropping a bit. His amusement freezing over with a faint ‘oh’ of their own. Before he grimaced,

“I am aromantic, yes, but that’s not it. I’m sorry, you’re a really nice person. You have been nothing but friendly and a reliable friend at that. It’s…”

Yanis closed their eyes, brows raised, before they snorted.

“Let me stop you right there. I know you have been avoiding me, I have respected that you were avoiding me”, they looked him in the eye,

“If you want me gone, I won’t bother you again. I’ll be out of your hair and we don’t have to even talk again.” Gerry felt his face fall, nervously biting his lip once more. Yanis wasn’t done just yet,

“But if you would like to, I want to get to know you”, a short jerk of their head,

“Properly get to know you. I think both our first gut feeling about the other was that we could become pretty great friends. And that’s all I’m suggesting.” Gerry needed a moment to process that. To let sink in that Yanis was really just curious about his friendship. Something they had so far always had to be wary around. At least until Gerry knew whether the person in question was human. Yanis huffed,

“While you process whether to give us a try, I’ll get us new drinks.” Gerry blinked, then nodded when they realised Yanis was waiting on his okay. Another one of those bright friendly smiles before they turned away. Gerry didn’t know what it was but they followed Yanis with his eyes. Their red hair easy to make out even in the crowd.

Just as he was about to turn away, he noticed something. Yanis was a very body-aware person, conscious and deliberate to a point it might seem standoffish. They had explained how it related to their chronic back and joint pain. But as Gerry watched them move through the crowd, he realised just how easily they moved around people. Almost light-footed, turning out of others’ ways with ease.

Despite them being almost as tall as him, and dressed in dark clothes, something about Yanis’ way through the crowd seemed almost airy.

It didn’t fit. It should have clashed immensely.

As they moved back towards him, Gerry realised what had been so weird about Yanis’ bodily confidence. They didn’t seem to make way for themself. Not at all. While that sureness was clear as day, written all over their most minute movements.

The way Yanis moved was the harsh opposite. Gerry was tempted to call it floaty. He knew they could make a way for themself through people, had witnessed as much a few times in the bustle of the campus. But how Yanis moved around people seemed just as natural.

Not even the slightest touch between them and the people around, as if some shimmer was keeping Yanis from being touchable. Kept up their airy strut, as if they weren’t turning and stepping around people.

The contrast did not make sense. And seeing as Gerry’s best friend was a changeling, well, if things didn’t make sense, it was likely some faerie or other was involved.

Which, on the one hand, would mean Yanis was safe from his own magic. But on the other hand it would raise so many more questions around them. About them.

Gerry couldn’t help his sceptical look when Yanis returned. Frowning at them, unsure whether to trust what they had seen.

“You're looking at me like that again”, Yanis raised a brow at him. Gerry gnawed his bottom lip,

“You’re a bit of a mystery, if I’m being honest.” But took the offered bottle none the less. Yanis’ warm smile returned,

“Well, I suppose it’s on you whether you care to figure me out, then.” An easy shrug as they raised a brow at him.

Gerry didn’t reply. They had not clue what to reply to that. And what they wanted to reply in the first place. Yanis didn’t push him. Much to Gerry’s relief. They fell back into companionable silence, emptying their drinks. When the bottles were empty, Yanis looked at him for a long moment. Searching their face. Yanis’ expression fell a bit, their smile not reaching their eyes anymore. Still, they only grimaced a little before sighing,

“So… have a good night, then.” Taking his empty bottle to take it away with their own, Yanis turned to go. Looking back over their shoulder,

“I guess I’ll see you around.” And with a final shrug and smile, they were gone in the crowd. Gerry stared after them before he closed their eyes and sighed. Silently cursing themself, he turned away from the crowd as well. One hand coming up to cover his mouth. Yanis had been right, if Gerry really had wanted them gone, he could have told them as much anytime. If they had wanted Yanis gone, he could have told them as much when they literally offered to leave him alone.

But Gerry didn’t. Because Gerry hadn’t and still didn’t want them gone.

They spent another few minutes turning things over in his head. What he had to consider if they really tried building a genuine friendship with Yanis.

Once he started looking around for them, Gerry regretted their delay. Not able to make out the red shock of hair, Gerry pulled out his phone. If he couldn’t find Yanis, he might at least tell Michael about his hunch. They had been friends for forever but Gerry still wasn’t all that confident to make out people that were connected to faerie. It was his best idea at the moment but he might just as well be off. Asking Michael for his opinion was a solid thing, also maybe it could distract Gerry if they really didn’t find Yanis again. Which meant Gerry would have to approach them around their next shared lecture.

Pocketing their phone, he looked up and around once more.

And huffed in amusement, Yanis standing almost directly in his line of vision. Albeit turned from them and leaning with their chin propped up over a bar table. Despite having avoided them, Gerry knew their usual posture well enough to see Yanis had to adjust to their pain at the moment. Holding their weight cautiously and reducing tension in their back and legs. Coincidentally, Yanis was looking at their own phone when Gerry came closer. And if he wasn’t mistaken, they were looking at the recent chat chronic between the two of them. The small frown pulling down the corner of Yanis’ lips gave Gerry a weird boost of confidence.

As he stepped up to the table, Yanis looked up.

“Du schon wieder”, they raised a brow but their frown had vanished. The quip good natured and accompanied by a small smile. Gerry couldn’t help smiling themself. With a slight head-tilt, he shrugged,

“Well, I can admit that I went looking for you.” Feeling a blush creep up on him, they tried fighting down his smile. Yanis turned to them fully, still with one elbow leaning on the table, they raised a brow. Giving Gerry a once-over. A short jerk of their head,

“Okay, und?” Gerry took a deep breath,

“You wanted to dance with me”, he shrugged,

“How about that invitation?” Yanis’ smile brightened a bit, stepping away from the table and coming closer. They offered him a hand,

“Your lead or mine?”

[alarawriting]

Poodle Pressure

(I wrote this for my first college-level creative writing class, in 1987 I think. The assignment was for a group of us to take an existing classic title -- ours was “The Turn of the Screw” -- and re-imagine a completely different story based on the title. We decided to write about a college student who is cracking under the pressure (I wonder why college students would pick such a topic... :-))

I have edited this slightly to remove some cultural references from the time period that don’t make sense anymore and add some from later time periods that do, and I’ve changed the title, and it’s nowhere near complete enough to be a story on its own -- mine was part 2, and I also did the part 4 but without 1 and 3 I can’t actually even see how 2 related to 4 anymore -- but I thought I’d post it because I didn’t know jack shit about neurodivergence then but I bet a lot of people will find this relateable.)

TW for fantasized violence against dogs. No actual dogs within the fictional universe were harmed during the making of this story.

--

That damn dog is barking again.

It never fails. Every goddamn morning at 7 am, the dog wakes me up. There’s this idiot down there who won’t walk the dog until 7:30, and never mind how many people the dog wakes up. Maybe I should organize a lynching party. You know, maybe get together with ten other people who aren’t too stoned to help. “We’ve come for your dog, lady!” We could grab the dog – and the girl would be screaming, of course, “My puppy, my baby! Don’t hurt my Tootsie!” or whatever the thing’s name is. Then we could drag it out and hang it by its leash to a telephone pole. Cut its throat, maybe, to warn the other dogs. All its fluffy purebred fur all bloody. This can happen even to a purebred poodle, you mutts. So shut up!

What would we have then? Dog retribution? Would the neighborhood Shepherds and Dalmations and Dobies circle around my door at night, with a Gary Larsonesque human doll to burn in effigy? Ah, the hell with it, Berke, you could never get a lynch mob together anyway. Not even a petition.

Why don’t I get up and tell that woman off? “Lady, get your dog to be quiet or I’ll burn off its goddamn fluffy fur.” Yeah, that’s it. Think I will…

Berke, who the hell do you think you’re fooling?

You know, I was up late last night, studying for my goddamn Bizarre Equations class, aka Physics That Make No Sense If You’re Euclid or Newton. I don’t need this. Don’t need a fluffy dog yapping because its mistress (take that any way you want) won’t let it out. It’s 7:10 AM, do you know where all your cramming went? Do you know where your sleep went? Don’t you want to kill that dog?

Why don’t I just put on my slippers and go downstairs and knock on that woman’s door? “Lady, get the lead out, you’re gonna have to scrape your dog off the wall if you don’t let it out.” I said this already, didn’t I?

Okay. Truth time. I don’t have the guts. That’s it in a nutshell. What if I went down there and she called the cops on me? That’d be all I need, with a goddamn exam coming up today. Ol’ Papa Einstein, “I want to know God’s thoughts, the rest are details.” Okay, Al, why don’t you tell me what God thinks of a barking poodle?

You know, I bet if her window broke, that poodle would jump right out and splat itself all over the ground. And wouldn’t that be something. Release, you know? The poodle’s all bottled up in the environment, full of energy. Lots of pressure. So you puncture the apartment and release the poodle pressure, and the poodle comes rushing out and turns itself into a bloody pancake.

---

I don’t know why I did that.

I thought I had it all out of my system, you know, writing it down’s supposed to be the next best thing to talking to a shrink or a friend, assuming you have one of either, right? So I just finished writing about the poodle, but it was just getting me madder and madder. So I picked up my sneaker, went out on my balcony, leaned way over like this is one of those cautionary tales where the young man planning mischief falls ten stories to his death, except I was smart enough to keep my foot chocked against one of the bars so the worst I’d have done is shatter my tibia, and I took my big heavy waterproof hiking sneaker and I threw it through her window, just to the right of her balcony.

As in through. As in it didn’t bounce off like I half expected it to. It shattered her window and went in. And now I have no sneaker.

I don’t know why I did that. I mean, the dog didn’t shut up or anything, in fact it just got louder, and now I’m going to have to go around in my socks all day. How the hell am I supposed to go to class in my socks? I could cut class, but what do I do about my exam? “I couldn’t take my exam because my sneaker was stuck in some lady’s apartment because I was too chickenshit to go ask for it back.” What the hell kind of excuse is that?

I suppose I could try to steal the sneaker back. When she takes the dog out – and it still hasn’t shut up, you know – I could sneak downstairs and into her apartment and take the sneaker. I mean, I can’t ask her for it – “Excuse me, I’m the guy who threw a sneaker at your window, can I have it back?” Maybe I could make an excuse. “Uh, yes, I was – I was testing the wind, yeah, I was testing the wind by holding my sneaker out the window, and it slipped, yeah, that’s it, and, and the wind blew it through your window. Yeah, that’s the ticket!” Nah. I’m gonna have to steal it back.

My God what’ll happen if she catches me? She’ll know it was my sneaker. It fits my foot. “Excuse me, sir, but why the hell did you throw a sneaker and break my window?” What can I say? “Your dog was bugging me?”

Oh, fuck, this is not going to work. Maybe if I wear six or seven pairs of socks, nobody will know the difference. Yeah. “Hey, Berke, like your new shoes.” “Uh, yeah, they’re the latest thing. Flexible Footwear. They’re eco-friendly.” I could say I was adapting to Japanese custom – “I left my sneakers in the lobby. I didn’t want to mark up the nice floor.” “It’s covered by a rug, moron.” “Well, uh, I was Japanese in a past life, you know?” No. That won’t work. I better steal the thing.

What if I cut? “I had to miss the exam on Einsteinian physics because of dire emergency. I had 24-hour AIDS.” Oh, yeah. Right. “I broke my leg but Magic Leg Glue helped me fix it right up! Only $29.99 if you order now!” “My mother died and I had to be present at the reading of the will or miss out on $30 million bucks, you can have a million of it if you just pretend I took the test and got an A.” No, I can’t cut. But how’m I going to steal that sneaker back?

Well. What if I call her up and pretend to be her boyfriend. I’ll tell her to meet me at the usual place, and I’ll burglarize her apartment while she’s out. Only one problem. I don’t know if she even has a boyfriend. Or if she even likes guys. Or her phone number. Or what her name is. That’s four problems, I’ll come in again.

I don’t even know her goddamn name, and I’ve broken her window.

There she goes! Walking her dog! I can just go downstairs now and get my sneaker back. Just slip on down…

There’s someone fixing that window from the inside.

Oh, shit, this has got to be a nightmare. Things like this don’t happen to real people. Why the hell did I throw that sneaker? Did I really believe the poodle would jump out? It was just so vivid… And so stupid. How the hell could I be that idiotic? Why did I throw that sneaker?

I’m tired…

---

My exam is taking place right now. I can’t go. I’m a sneakerless prisoner here.

Maybe I should borrow a shoe from Wood. He’s an asshole, but he’s my size, or close enough… still time…

I think I’ll go back to sleep. When I wake up everything will be normal again and I won’t have lost my sneaker and I won’t have missed my exam. Okay?

You listening?

---

I met a girl the other day.

She wasn’t what you would call a real girl, she was a fake girl, you know? Like some mad scientist boiled down a hundred girls to get to the essence of girl and then poured it into a composite body. Like the Bride of Frankenstein, All-American version. Or what if Professor Utonium didn’t put Chemical X in the mixture so Bubbles grew up without superpowers, as a pure construct of sugar, spice and everything nice. A 3-D printed girl from a high-res mold. One of those anime PC idol girls who comes to life. I kept expecting her to disappear in a puff of smoke or something.

---

I want to go home.

Which is not to say I want to go to my house, the place where I live. No, I want to go home. I’ve never been there before. I don’t think anybody has. I don’t think it exists.

I want to live in a sci-fi dimension where the laws of physics are the same but human nature changes so I’m normal and I’m not alone and I feel like I belong. I can’t even imagine what it would be like, a place where I could be at home. But if I ever find it, I’ll know.

[roaldseth]

📌, ✨, 🏳️‍🌈 for DDS?

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

This was answered here.

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

Digital Devil Saga has a layperson-friendly tangibility to its multifaceted and multilayered composition. The amount of research put into properly aligning the themes, symbology, and lore allows the potential studier to be engulfed in analysis for years. Using 2014 as the benchmarked for being fervent with DDS, I have been attached to the series for approximately 6 years and I keep finding new information and meanings, ranging in complexities. 

The symbology, analogies, and allegories used in other SMT games haven’t caught my attention as much as Digital Devil Saga because it has a straightforward, stated staring point. But, despite being well versed in Catholic education, I do have a familiarity and experience with Asian studies (mythos/fairytales, religion/philosophies, et cetra.), so it might have seemed easier for me to grasp on to because of this history/experience.

On more of a personal note: it was rather ironic, or not so ironic, that Digital Devil Saga had returned to me in a point in my life where I was facing great uncertainty and anxiety. In 2014 (and around then), I had an eating disorder. I had anorexia. So, I see it funny that the game I latched on to for support and escapism was a game about eating people.

That was also most likely an unwitting factor as to why Roland ended up being that one specific member of the cast that I loved far greater than the rest—a strange sense of familiarity and kinship.

Recently there was a post going around about birth cards, and the Ace of Spade’s attributes are a“quest for wisdom” and “emotional discord,” which according to the site, means “the quest to understand the meaning of life.” Also ironic that this point aligns with Digital Devil Saga, since one of the game’s main themes is just that: understanding life. It’s an interesting note that’s more of a happy coincidence than something serious.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

Important? No. I don’t take fandom that seriously. Whether it’s actually a true head canon or a fanciful idea I simply entertain more than once—my “head canons” more typically being the later—I’m not going to hold it up on a pedestal in high regard.

In a generic sense, sure:

Gale is (inherently and canonically in QDS) neurodivergent, which is a massive Mood.

As much as I typically talk in neutrality, Adil is either from Levant or the Arabian Peninsula, and was not born in the US.

Despite how he talks in canon, Adil was a rather religious man.

Adil is gay while Roland is (bi/)ace.

> I remember reading a post about LGBT+ history explaining that post-some-war gay men had formed biker groups. The point of the post was why leather and the biker look had become so prevalent and synonymous with gays, and after that I just kind of looked at Adil like: “… that makes sense now…” because I did think Adil would have preferred driving a bike instead of a car before that.

> Roland being ace is just me projecting and solidarity. But, ever since you (cheir) were like “Roland is an INTJ” my eyes have opened and also explains the struggles with relationships I believed in my heart he would have had.

Then, although I wholeheartedly perceive Roland as a cis man: since I only ever talked about trans Roland once and it was literally just “Roland is trans [mic drop]” with little to no explanation, I’ll also say this:

[ WARNING for brief sexual text ]

Some people have noted that the diamond pattern of Indra’s skin is a reference to Gautami’s curse: Indra, having seduced Ahalya, Gautami’s wife, is punished with a cursed that causes him to carry his shame by loosing his genitals* and having a thousand vulvae upon his skin.

*Side note: another reference to the curse is DDS’s Indra’s design is that his crotch area is not as deliberately shaped as the other male-coded Avatars (excluding Dyaus).

This curse strips Indra of traditional, societal indicators of manhood. However, Indra being summoned through a trans man would be an act of rebuttal that no bodily signifier can strip a man of his manhood, even if he “wears” those things; that a man is a man as long as he says.

… There are other lesser, nitpicky things that could be applied to a trans Roland, but those would better wait for a different occasion.

-

[ media hyperfixation ask game! ‣ ask box ]

[ultravioletproxy]

[OC REF] Pike Tanglao

Oh my gosh I'm so happy to finally give Pike an updated reference! He's a very dear character to me because I (The DID Alter Chrys) created Pike right around when I came around again, and boy has my art style come a LONG way. Just makes me super happy <3 <3 Name: Pike Tanglao Aliases: Bugboy | Spiderman | Child / Kid | Gender: Cisgender Man (He/Him) Age: 23 Birthdate: August 13th Species: Human Race/Ethnicity: Filipino Height: 5'8" Weight: 145 lbs (66kg) Voice Type: Average Masculine Voice Body Type: Average, leaning toward Slim Sexuality: Gay Relationship Status: Taken by Jekyll Pets: Do...Do the bugs count?? Education Level: Highschool Graduate, Currently in College(Majoring in Marine Biology) Scars / Physical Deformities: Small scars on his Right Ankle Mental State: Neurodivergent Likes: Studying and Learning | Pretty much all the drinks you can find at Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts lol | French Fries | Fish / Marine Life | Lumpia, Siopao, Halo-Halo, Lechon, Chicken Adobo | American Spaghetti | Hiking / Nature | American Climates | Dislikes: Balut | Summer Rains (unless you have AC) | Vyde | Dry Weather | Large Crowds | Positive Personality Traits: Friendly / Social | Outgoing | Explorative | Open Minded | Humble / Down to Earth | Optimistic | Cooperative | Cultured | Sympathetic and Empathetic, Compassionate | Good-Natured | Patient | Negative Personality Traits: Impulsive | Lets his Nerves get the best of him | Fussy | Occupation: Host of the Ones that Crawl, Squirm, and Infest / Host of Nature | College Student | Currently works at an Unnamed Diner | Place of Residence: Born in the Philippines, outside of the Mega Manilla City | Eventually moved to Oak Grove OR, in the USA on a Travel and Work Visa | Currently Resides in Central Coastal Maine | Relations: Jekyll - Boyfriend | Vyde Kestos - Mentor (or should I say Tormentor...) | Squick & Skuinch - His Anointed | Yaniv Stone - Mentor, Acquaintance | Johnny Pines - Friend | Snakeskin - Acquaintance | Mother and Father - Distanced(because they live in the Philippines still) but otherwise a happy Family |

───⋘��═♜═✦⋙─── ╔══════════════════════════════════════╗

Art & Characters are © to ConsciousColony

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[camsforreal]

10 Steps to Take to Be More Inclusive in Your Photography Business

Standing out from your competition can be daunting. One easy way to do this is to make sure your business shows you are inclusive and welcoming. A lot of photographers say they are inclusive, but they are not projecting that. Here are 10 questions to ask yourself to help you figure out where you can improve your business.

For decades, I have worked to help organizations, businesses, and governments, from the local level all the way up to the national level, learn how to be more inclusive. In November, I’ll be teaching on the international stage. It isn’t enough anymore to simply be diverse. You also need to be inclusive. A lot of people simply don’t know where to begin. Beginning is as easy as completing the following audit and making any necessary adjustments.

Question 1: How Do You Show if You Are Queer, Including Transgender Friendly?

When helping other businesses, this is one of the biggest areas in which they want to improve. There are multiple ways you can show and not tell that you are queer-friendly. This includes using gender-neutral language on your website and intake forms. If working in portraiture, it includes using language such as “pregnant people” instead of “pregnant women” when discussing pre- and post-natal photography. It includes having a field to list pronouns on forms if the client chooses. It means putting your pronouns in your signature, on business cards, and on your website to signal to others that they can disclose theirs to you if they choose. These are just a few things you can do to show you are purposely thinking of all people in your marketing.

Question 2: Do You Have Queer Photography on Your Website and Have You Studied It?

Queer photography is its own genre. You need to be prepared to photograph queer people using both the method that people consider to be the default and the edgier angles found in queer photography. But it isn’t only camera angle and color grading, but also posing. Queer photography has its own unique posing that gets even more specialized when shooting transgender people. You need to know how to do figure study and boudoir for transgender people. You also need to be ready for all sorts of body configurations since you cannot ask people what is under their clothing. A good rule to follow: if you wouldn’t ask the question of your cisgender and straight clients, don’t ask it about your queer clients.

Question 3: If You Offer Gender-Based Photography Services, Are You Intentionally Including Transgender, Non-Binary, and Gender Non-Conforming People?

Maternity and natal photography. Breast/Chestfeeding photography. Boudoir. Figure Study. Birthing sessions. These are all examples of photography you are probably associating with cisgender women clients. But there are also transgender people who are not women who want these services. If you are happy to serve all genders for these services, then it is as simple as stating: “we provide services for all bodies and all genders.” If you only provide these services to women, does that include transgender women? If so, then state: “we provide services for all women.” And if you are not comfortable providing these services to all bodies, then research queer photographers in your area that are inclusive of all bodies and refer clients to them. You can do so by simply saying: “I am not yet trained in how to shoot transgender bodies. But I’m happy to refer you to X. They will do a great job.”

Question 4: Are You Reinforcing Gender Stereotypes in Your Posing?

This is a big issue. It happens when posing all people. I also hear it a lot when images are being critiqued, especially when the model appears to be a cisgender woman. It is time to challenge your gaze and shoot more to how the model naturally holds themselves and pose in flattering ways based on that. It is also time to shoot some personal projects to update your portfolio with imagery that reflects a wide range of gender expressions.

Question 5: Do You Have Plus-Sized People in Your Portfolio?

You are turning away a lot of potential clients before they even click on that contact page because your portfolio does not reflect all body sizes. I know a lot of people who want to shoot bigger bodies, but they don’t know-how. It is too bad that "Full Body Project" by Leonard Nimoy is no longer in print, because that book was a masterclass in how to shoot bigger bodies. Without models of all sizes in your portfolio, you are signaling that you are fat-phobic and not body positive. It may be time for another personal project.



Question 6: How Many People of Color, Especially Indigenous and Black People, Do You Feature in Your Portfolio?

Photography has been and continues to be a tool of colonization and whitewashing. Part of western society's very notion of “good” and “evil” comes from how Western photographers have processed black and brown skin to make it look darker and white skin to make it look lighter since the beginning of the art. Now, the issue is compounded by white photographers inappropriately processing black and brown skin using digital tools. If you are shooting Indigenous people, did you consult with them and get their approval before profiting off their experiences? There needs to be a disclosure saying this on your website whenever you collaborate with Indigenous people. And if your website is full of nothing but white-passing people, it's time for another personal project.

Question 7: When Shooting Non-White Western-European Places, People, Food, Events, Etc., Are You Shooting Appropriately or Is It Appropriative, and What Language Do You Use?

I’m not sure I can ever express the utter rage I feel when I see chopsticks in Asian food imagery when they don’t belong. Asian cuisine and Asian culture are not a monolith. When shooting food, places, events, etc. that are not native to you, it is really important that you take some time to do some research first, especially if you want to work with clients who are not from white Western European backgrounds. It is also imperative that you drop the word “ethnic” and “exotic” from your vocabulary if working with diverse, racialized clients is important to you. A Sikh or Muslim wedding is just as North American as a white Christian wedding. If you wouldn’t use the word to describe your own culture, don’t use it to describe the culture of another.

Question 8: Do the Images on Your Website Include Alt Text for the Blind and Visually Impaired?

Too many photographers still do not do this. Blind and visually impaired people buy photography services. It isn’t enough to simply say what is in the images. The alt text also needs to reflect the sensory experiences conveyed in the image. It is really easy with food because you can describe things like the “warm aroma” of whatever spice is used in a dish, as one example. Do the same in other genres. What does the clothing feel like? What texture can describe the fabric? Is there a smell in the breeze? Is the sun warm or cool? Is the river trickling or roaring? Are the birds chirping or squawking?

Question 9: Is Your Studio Wheelchair Accessible and Is This Information Stated on Your Website?

Legislation on accessibility varies wildly around the world. Even in countries that have accessibility legislation, a lot of businesses do not comply. I’m a wheelchair user. If I must ask a business if their place is wheelchair accessible because it isn’t listed clearly on their site, I won’t bother contacting them or giving them my business.

Question 10: Do You Ask Your Clients if They Need Any Accommodations, Including for Sensory Issues?

When I give talks about how to be inclusive, I can see the facepalm as it flashes across people’s brains when I talk about this, because it is something often on their minds as they have neurodivergent people close to them, and yet, they forget to make this one simple change in their own business. If you deal with families, be willing to accommodate the child who will need to wear noise-cancellation headphones throughout the session. It won’t ruin the images. You are capturing the truth of that person’s identity. If a person says they are sensitive to lights, dim them and only bring them up as the shoot starts, taking frequent breaks so the person doesn’t experience sensory overload. Most of the time, if you ask this question, you won’t need to figure out how to accommodate the need. The person will let you know how it can be done.

There are many more things you can do to show your business is an inclusive business. But these 10 things are things you can do now with little effort on your part but with a big reward.

Lead image by Prostock-studio, used under Envato commercial license.

 

[geirutoneido]

hmmm...either april may, will powers or penny nichols!

april may:sexual orientation hc: she would be a lesbian if it wasnt so convenient to be bi and have men do everything for yougender hc: girl-alignedmental illness / neurodivergent hc: ptsd abuse survivor, sex-repulsed, flat affect. prone to doing reckless, dangerous shit3 random hcs:

crush on mia fey

feels like the only way she can get people to do stuff for her is by being cute & sexy. shes not taken seriously or listened to otherwise, and she relies heavily on it to manipulate men into... not harming her, i guess

april may is like... not like, smart. she doesnt know things. she knows she doesnt know things though and she thinks its obnoxious when people brag about how smart they are or act like intelligence makes you superior fuck off im stupid as shit n i just wanna live a lil

will powers:sexual orientation hc: hes a gay beargender hc: nice friendly manmental illness / neurodivergent hc: hes very very conscious of his appearance. was a very slow learner in school.3 random hcs:

he loves kids so much he almost cries when he sees one. theyre so good. he would have loved to have become a teacher if he didnt suck so much at studying and wasnt already an actor

almost everyone he works with ever loves him. hes the kind of person people go to when they need a lil pep-talk or a listening ear or just someone to eat lunch with. he gives the BEST hugs and its kind of a thing where everyone hugs him at least once to confirm that indeed, the rumors are true, will gives the best hugs

he receives fanmail from miles who has like a puppy crush on him

penny nichols:sexual orientation hc: girls?gender hc: girls!mental illness / neurodivergent hc: autistic, struggles to act her age (tries, though). really bad hand-coordination, making her clumsy and struggle with handwork3 random hcs:

she has a cat and she does this work to feed her cat

she writes a ton of steel samurai fanfiction. she knows canon ahead of time and she decides to ignore it because she (and will powers) both know the steel samurai is a gay bear. miles edgeworth reads her fanfiction and is a huge fan. her online username is a moneypenny reference

she has a lot of really cute clothes and puts a lot of work into coordinating her outfits and stuff, but not when she goes to work because her clothes will just get dirty and stuff anyway, its not the kind of job you doll up for. so when her colleagues meet her outside of work its like, woah, shes so unexpectedly stylish

[a-queer-seminarian]

hey there, some seminary questions for you! How did you choose which seminary to attend? Could you please talk about the application/acceptance process? What's the average week like as a seminarian?

Oh gosh, you sent this ages ago, I’ve been meaning to answer!

How I picked a seminary:

I looked only at seminaries in my denomination, PC(USA), that were at least sort of near my area of the USA and that seemed like they’d be LGBT+ friendly. I visited two of them, McCormick in Chicago and Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, in the fall of 2015 and applied to them both the spring of 2016. Both seemed like excellent choices, I selected LPTS because I liked the housing situation, the campus in general, and the students and teachers I talked to seemed like a better fit for me. And indeed, I am extremely happy here!

Applications and Acceptance:

So yeah, the two seminaries I applied to both had applications due for the following fall in early spring, and I think that’s fairly standard. When looking at various seminaries, check their website for info on that. I highly recommend looking into seminaries a year before you want to attend one, so that you have plenty of time to visit, gather recommendation letters, reflect on your decision, and apply.

Note that the vast majority of seminaries require an undergraduate degree before you can apply, since it is a masters program – but that undergrad degree can be in anything. See this post.

This is the admissions page of my seminary. LPTS offers several degrees, the most popular of which at the masters level are the Masters of Divinity (MDIV, what I am doing) and the Masters of Family Therapy (MFT). To apply to these programs, there are forms that request general info and also ask that you undergo a background check, write some essays, and three letters of recommendation.

The last of those things, the rec letters, might sound overwhelming, but it’s doable. One of them needs to be from a pastor, so if you don’t currently have a pastor in your life who knows you well, that’s something to think about before applying to seminary – how can you get active in your current church so that your pastor can write you a good letter? The second letter must be an academic reference and the third must be a “personal or professional reference” – see this webpage for more. Note that these were the letters my two seminaries of choice required, and while I think it’s fairly typical, other seminaries may do it differently.

I’m pretty sure some sort of interview was required too, but it’s super informal and you can do it via skype if you can’t get to the seminary in person. I do recommend checking out the seminaries you’re interested in person though, if at all possible – they let you tour, talking to various teachers and students and possibly sitting in on classes.

On to the acceptance process: if the two seminaries I looked into are any indication, if you get all the application stuff turned in, you’re very likely to be accepted. The big thing is financial stuff they’ll offer you – the more impressive your application is, the more likely to get academic scholarships. My seminary also had me fill out some forms explaining my financial situation, so that they would know to offer me more financial aid as needed. The amazing thing about my seminary though is that they offer full tuition to everyone who gets in! And all seminaries as far as I know are pretty great about helping with financing their students’ education. See this post for more on financial stuff.

An average week in seminary:

Okay, the average week at any seminary is likely to be different. Note also that I’m going to describe the average week of a first-year student – it changes for second and third year students.

Oh yeah, to mention that: at my seminary at least, the MDIV takes three years and the MFT program takes five. You can also be a part time student which means it’ll take longer. For MDIVs, you have to take Hebrew and Greek and you also have to intern for a year at a nearby church to graduate. I’m doing my church placement my second year. And if you are pursuing ordination, you likely want to be working on whatever your denomination requires for ordination while you’re at seminary – you don’t magically get your ordination when you graduate, just your masters. For my denomination, for instance, I have to do some work as a chaplain in order to be ordained, so I’m likely doing that next summer.

Let’s start with classes and homework in an average week:

I take four classes, and workload-wise they remind me a lot of undergrad. Most classes meet either two or three times a week, and are either 50 minutes or an hour and 15 minutes each time. Some classes are primarily lecture, most involve lecture and discussion, and some are primarily discussion. They all involve a lot of reading. Many students get away with not always doing all the readings though, haha. Fall (September through mid-December) and spring (February through early May) are the main two semesters, but there are also short classes available in January and summer.

Along with reading, homework varies; I’ll describe my typical homework for my four current classes:

For Black Church Studies, we basically read one book and have one 1000-word essay due every two weeks.

Scripture II (New Testament) is sort of bizarre in that there are no major essays due and we only have one textbook (well, plus the Bible). Homework is to read a chapter of the textbook and write a 300-600 word summary on it for each class meeting. Each chapter is on a different book / letter of the New Testament. For this coming Monday, my summary on Ephesians is due. (On a side note, at the end of this semester I’ll probably share a google doc of all my summaries if anyone is interested; they’re good for quick overviews of the content and contexts of the Gospels and letters!)

History of Christian Experience I (the first century CE through 1453) has us write three 1200-1400 word essays throughout the semester. For each class meeting, a fifty-word sentence answering a question about the reading is due. This class has the heaviest reading load – seriously, some nights I don’t actually get to read everything thoroughly; I try my best to, but every now and then I have to skim instead.

Hebrew Exegesis (my fave!!) has five papers throughout the semester (that counts the final). For each paper, we translate a short passage from the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) and provide historical context, talk about literary structure, do word studies on it, and so on. There were also several (6 I think) translation exercises due throughout the semester, in which you have to translate around 10 sentences from Hebrew. This class also involves reading, but not as much as the other classes. You have to read commentaries and look through dictionaries in order to write the papers.

I had a good number of quizzes and some tests for basically every class last semester; this semester, I have literally zero tests or quizzes in any class, just a lot of papers (all my finals this time around are take-home essays).

It’s hard for me to really explain how fun the classes are? but I love them. They teach so much, and challenge you to think.

Moving on to worship at seminary:

We open every class meeting with a prayer. And on Thursdays and Fridays, there are chapel services led by either a teacher or a student (usually seniors). Because so many different people lead the services, you get a really wide variety of services, which I think is really cool! Not only Presbyterians attend this seminary – in fact, I think it’s something like 50 or 60% of students and faculty here are not Presbyterian. I love seeing how different traditions worship.

And community life here:

Classes are small and therefore tight-knit. I love my class; there are around 30 of us in total I think and around 20 of those are MDIV like me. We all joke around and support and pray for each other, and study together and help one another out when needed. When you need anything, whether it’s notes from a class you missed or a ride to the airport or some groceries because you’re low on cash, someone will help you out.

There are so many groups on campus you can join. We’ve got students in governmental positions, for instance, and students in various committees, from the Faith Life committee to the More Light (LGBT) committee, and from the Worship committee to the Gender and Ministry committee. I do a lot to help out with the community garden. There’s also a grassroots group for environmental stuff – I am assigned to take out the recycling in one of the school buildings to do my part with that. My seminary’s “big thing” is racial dialogue, so there are many classes, workshops, and other events that deal with that. Unfortunately the More Light group isn’t all that active this year, but when there are events I go to them!

If there’s an issue you care about that is not already addressed by a group on campus, it’s possible to make it happen. I just gave a workshop on how to make ministry more welcoming to transgender people. And a classmate and I plan to hold some workshop type events on accessibility and ableism this coming fall.

Conclusion:

So yeah, life in seminary involves balancing schoolwork with participating in the seminary community, your own life (many students here have jobs and/or kids), worship / your faith life, and doing the “field ed” aspect of seminary – church placements and chaplaincy for MDIVs, counseling/therapy for MFTs.

I personally find myself exhausted pretty often thanks to the ol’ mental illness and neurodivergence, so it’s important to take care of yourself. Teachers for the most part are very understanding and willing to give extensions on papers and the like, so that helps. And like I said, when you need something, classmates have your back.

I cannot emphasize enough how enriching the classes are, how intelligent the teachers are, or how warm and family-like the students are. It’s all wonderful.

If you have more questions about seminary, let me know!