#new season fucked me up ....... but gigi looked so good

[protagonist-art]

GIGI MARRY ME GIGI PLEASE GIGI LOOK AT ME

[hijinxensues]

The Cloaking Brooch Dilemma - Part 10

RotTMNT Donatello x OC!AFAB

Synopsis: Donatello considered himself, nay, deemed himself the greatest mind of his generation. He was known for his skills as a scientist, inventor, engineer and was a technological genius. Dare he throw in that he was a damn good brother and held the title of being ¼th ‘Protector of New York City’.

He could barely fathom that he didn’t piece together that the pretty barista he was falling for was simultaneously his gaming buddy (might I add, for the last eight years) and was working for Big Mama.

At this very moment, Donatello was sure of two things in his life. One of them being his life was a joke and the second being that he was fraternizing with the enemy.

All because he decided to run errands whilst donning his cloaking brooch.

Warnings: Aged-Up turtles, fluff, Half-Yokai OC, AFAB OC (does use she/her/they pronouns in writing), swearing

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Ch 10 – Amethyst

“You’ve never been Albearto Land?”

“Nah, I love amusement parks though! I just hate animatronics or anything animatronic-adjacent. I’m an avid ‘Fight Nights at Freddys’ stan and the machines just freak me the fuck out. Now that I’m thinking about it, wasn’t there an issue with ‘possessed animatronics’ or something at Albearto’s?”

“They only use his name and face for branding now. They did, but then they just got rid of all the animatronics after that fiasco. The booths and rides are operated by real people now.”

“See! You just can’t trust ‘em!”

Donatello chuckles and shrugs, “I’m hypothesizing based on your traumatizing history with the ‘Five Nights’ franchise, you would not want to accompany me to Albearto’s? I have an ‘Albearto Celebrity Card’ which allows me access to the park at any time, for any season, for the entirety of my life.”

“Why is it that you have a celebrity card to Albearto’s?! How often do you even use that thing?”

“A single time with my pseudo-sister. My brothers have a celebrity card each as well.”

You give him an incredulous look, “Okay, well lemme double back. You want to go to Albearto’s.”

“Yes.”

“With me?”

“Yes?” Donatello quirks an eyebrow at you, unsure if he’s been unclear with this interaction.

“Alright, you’ve sold me with the bare minimum. However, I do have terms and conditions.”

You friend scrolls through his phone as he drapes himself over your couch arm, “Any room for negotiation?”

“Uh…no.”

Donatello nods to prompt you to continue then gets up to make himself a cup of coffee in your kitchen. He slips his feet into a pair of fuzzy purple slippers you’d bought him to wear around the apartment since he complained his feet were always cold. Donned in a pair of black joggers and a pull over grey hoodie, he really tied together the domestic look in the apartment as he rooted around for a mug to use.

“Why do you insist on keeping your coasters here? This is the least optimal spot to place them in.” He scowls and pulls one off the top of the fridge. He grimaces and mumbles a tiny ‘yuck’ under his breath before wiping the coaster on a hand towel by the sink.

“Don’t be a baby, I know it’s clean on top of the fridge. Gigi wipes it down all the time!” you stick a knuckle into his ribs and earn a swat from him. “I’ve got a tall bestie, okay? I think Gigi puts them up there to make me mad because I can’t reach them without a stool, but I don’t use coasters anyways. I’ve just never moved them.”

The whirring of the Keurig quiets your thoughts, “Okay, so terms and conditions, buy me a churro.”

“Done.”

“And,” you drawl, “Hmm, I’ll make it easy on you. Just win me something at one of those rigged carnival games.”

“Hah! Too easy, those games are meant to make you fail so you spend as much money as possible on them. I know the tricks to win all of them. I will not be bested by measly carnival games.” Donatello takes a sip of his black coffee before adding just the right amount of milk and sugar to yours and handing you your own mug. Smiling softly, you take the mug from his hands, fingertips brushing against each other. He looked awfully pretty in your kitchen.

“’Scuse me,” the kitchen is narrow, and he moves behind you, his hand grazes past where your tail is situated. The touch is so feather-light but makes your breath hitch all the same. You know he only feels the fabric of your clothes, but you felt him and it nearly drives you insane to have him that close.

There’s a light pressure above your tail and you realize he’s left his hand on your lower back, “You okay? I lost you there for a second.” Clutching the mug in your hand you nod and take a sip of the too hot coffee not trusting yourself to speak just yet. He gives you a pat, pat on your back and starts walking to your balcony, grabbing a throw blanket with his free hand. He shakes it out and tilts his head questioningly, you pray to any and all deities he doesn’t mention the rabbit fur on everything.

Donatello doesn’t mention it but stares inquisitively at the blanket and you swear you catch him try to discreetly take a sniff. Weird guy, thank goodness he was cute.

Your legs carry you to join him on your balcony.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” You curl your legs underneath yourself and toss the throw blanket over the both of you, leaving a gap in between to give him the space to disengage if he wanted to.

“Yeah, stunning.” His voice is closer to you than you expect, so you turn your head and your met with his gaze boring into yours. Donatello reels backwards the beverage in his cup sloshing and threatening to spill over the rim, “The view! The view is beautiful, like you said! New York- what a town!” laughing nervously, he rubs at the back of his neck and focuses his eyes forward. Chuckling you bask in the glow of the dimmed fairy lights strewn across the balcony.

While you couldn’t see many stars with the city lights so bright, the hustle and bustle of New York was a sight to behold regardless. The city was alive and breathing, it was one of your favorite parts of the city. Usagi and yourself would spend hours out here chatting and trying to make out what other people were doing in their own suites, the warm light from their apartment silhouetting their figures. Your favorite was watching people cook dinner or dance around their apartments.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he places his mug down on the coaster and leans back settling beside you, his knee knocks yours under the blanket.

“Just thinking about names.”

“Names?” Donatello shifts so he’s facing you, his elbow leaning on the back rest, his palm supporting his head and he looks at you, giving you his full attention. You shift as well to face him as well, mimicking the way he’s sitting. Noticing goosebumps on his arm you pull the blanket farther up to where it nearly meets his neck.

“Was just thinking about how names have been used for ages! Like, centuries or millenniums. Hear me out,” you’re a bit animated now hands moving to make a point as you rant, “How many times has the streets of our city heard a brother call out to an ‘Alexander’? How many times has the stars above us caught some star-crossed lover whispering ‘Luna’? You know what I mean?”

Donatello slowly nods, you knew he was never good at the mushy-gushy, emotionally charged thought processes of looking at things. You felt stupid but you knew he’d never fault you for being a bit of a dreamer. The air of the night makes you sentimental.

“You remind me of my brother Michael.” He says adoringly. Laughing you smile, “I’m guessing that’s a good thing. I think you’re pretty fond of him.” Donatello nods, “Your nose crinkles a bit like a bunny when you laugh like that.”

Rolling your eyes your hand flies up to cover your nose, “You’re not the first person to tell me that.” He grabs your hand softly and your heart starts to race. His thumb tracks over the back of your hand as he pulls it away from your face, “Don’t hide it, it’s actually extremely endearing.”

He lets go and you fight the urge to grab onto his fingers and link them together.

“Names, right? That’s where we were going with this?” Donatello hums thoughtfully and gazes back up to the sky, “I suppose you’re right. It’s human nature to want to name things and name each other. To have a sense of identity linked to a word. People are fascinating.”

“I think it’s sweet to think that people did their best to find the loveliest sounds the human voice can make and assign those sounds to another so that our whole identity is inexplicably linked being thought of and loved.”

Donatello shrugs, “I suppose so. I don’t think names are meant to be that…romanticized.”

“Think about it like this. Your dad looked at you, probably with love in his eyes, and irrevocably decided that you were a ‘Donatello’.” He’s lost in his own thoughts when you tell him this, a ‘huh’ leaves his lips before his eyes meet yours again.

“Your name has probably been used many times after the renaissance artist, but right now it’s yours, and I think that’s pretty amazing. I’m glad I know you as a ‘Donatello’, I don’t think anything else in the world would suit you. Not even ‘Othello’.” He huffs and you chuckle.

His pinky finger finds yours and you make the brave move of latching onto his.

Tell him. Tell him now.

“I need to-“

“There’s something I-“

The two of you pause.

“You go-“

“Sorry! You were saying-“

You facepalm with your free hand and puff your cheeks, “Sorry, this is so stupid. You go first, what were you saying?”

He opens his mouth and he’s rudely interrupted by his cell phone ringing. Both of you pull away, startled, a hand to your chest. Donatello groans and doesn’t pick up, cancelling the call. “My apologies, it’s just my brothers. As I was saying,”

His phone rings again and you stifle a laugh. The feeling of anticipation you were holding onto fizzled as you watched your friend cancel the call again. He massaged his temples, “For fucks sake.”

“Just pick up the phone then tell me after!”

Donatello is interrupted yet again by his telltale ring of his phone accompanied with bright purple light on his forearm underneath his sweater. He notices as well but doesn’t pull his sleeve up and rapidly goes to pick up his phone, the light fading away. “Is this an emergency?! I’m in the middle of something, Michael!”

He sighs in resignation, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

You stop his apology with a hand, “Your family needs you, I’ll talk to you later, Dee.” Smiling you pick up both mugs and head inside with him trailing behind you.

“Thanks, Letty. My family would never make it without me.” He pulls his coat off the hanger and stops suddenly with a smirk on his face. “I’m torn between thinking these are cute or ridiculous.” He lifts it with his thumb and pointer finger to show you what’s caught his eye.

“Oh, those raggedy ass things? I think I must’ve got it in one of those Gatchapon machines years ago. Thought it was cute.”

Between his fingers he held up two separate plastic keychains, one of a cartoon tortoise with a purple bandana around its neck and the other a white cartoon hare. Both weathered from hanging off your lanyard attached to your keys, they were slightly discolored with scuffs but still easily recognizable. “It’s just a tortoise and a hare, like that fable. I think the turtle looks a little funny though. Like, a biblically accurate turtle or something. I also think hares are supposed to be brown or something, but eh, they’re just keychains.”

“I’m familiar with Aesop’s fable, but you’ve got it all wrong. This is actually a soft-shell turtle and a…white rabbit. An American White Rabbit perhaps?”

“Is there anything you don’t know? Like, how’re you reading into my keychains right now? Leave them be, Don.” Grinning you coax him like a stray dog to the front door, “Shoo, shoo! Get out before your brothers call you again.” He gives you a half hug then tugs on his boots, “Albearto’s tomorrow night?”

“Perf, pick me up at 6pm.”

“That is amenable. It’s a date.”

“It’s a date! Bye, Donnie!”

You closed the door and put your ear against the door and waited until you could no longer hear footsteps.

A date.

You pull your brooch off and toss it on the side table by the door before hopping in the air and squealing into your open palms.

A date, like romantic-styles!?

You dive to the couch and tightly grab one of the large couch cushions and start bunny kicking it. A quiet purr reverberates in your chest as you shove your face into the soft fabric that coincidentally had Donatello’s scent all over it.

--

“Ok, that was a whole lot of flourish to the story, but I think we’re going on a date?” You flex your painted fingers in front of you admiring your handiwork. You wave your hand in the air casually to help the purple nail polish dry.

Usagi lays on his back, thumbs and eyes occupied by his phone and he fails to answer you. Jostling him with your toe in his rib, “Babes, hello?”

“Oh, sorry, Leo says hi by the way,”

“Fuck you Leo. Also hi.”

“You’ve said in the past that loverboy is super literal, so he probably did mean date, in the romantic-styles way. You also don’t just say ‘it’s a date!’ and have it be a regular hang out between friends, I don’t think?” Usagi flops back on his stomach, legs kicking leisurely.

“Gross, is this what I was like when I text Donnie?”

“Was? Babes, you’re still like this. Let me have my moment. I minded my damn business when it came to you and loverboy.”

You snort and cap your nail polish bottle, “You got me there. Ugh, I almost told him too about me being a Yokai but his phone kept ringing, shit timing. Maybe I’ll try again tonight. He also wanted to tell me something, so I’ll probably ask about that tonight if I happen to remember.”

Usagi hummed in confirmation he heard you then giggled, his gaze still glued to his phone, “I bet I’m funnier than him.” You ‘hmph’ and lay down beside him, your legs over his.

“You’re not.”

“I am!” you retort back like a petulant child.

“Someone’s jealous!”

“Moving on, can you hurry up and pick my outfit please. My nails are still drying.”

Usagi tosses his phone into the abyss of blankets and moves to your closet, “We’re doing casual and comfy because amusement park but also, it’s a date but it isn’t a date, but it is. So, we want don’t want to look like we’re trying too hard.”

“Sure, everything you just said.”

Usagi rummages through your closet and begins tossing clothes on the bed. “It’s a little chilly out given the season but I think tonight’s a bit warmer than usual.” You take your clothes to the bathroom and change into them. Looking yourself over in the mirror you give yourself a thumbs up and you’re glad for once Usagi isn’t right by your side to see the cringe.

You were equipped with your cloaking brooch situated on a camisole underneath a deep brown cashmere sweater, your lower half in faux fur lined black leggings and calf socks paired with a simple pair of black boots. “Perfect choice, babes!” you yell to the other room.

“No probbles!”

You turn your head so violently you almost give yourself whiplash, “Where did you hear that?”

“Leo’s brother says it. Why?”

“Huh, no way. Do you happen to know his brother’s name?”

“Yeah it’s- oop, your phone is buzzing! I think loverboy is here to pick you up.” Usagi unplugs your phone and tosses it and you catch it midair. You’re impressed that Usagi didn’t overshoot and throw it at wall and that you caught the phone instead of letting it shatter against the hardwood.

The two of you squeal and bounce around the apartment for a second before Usagi pulls your oversized coat over you. “Okay, have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t!”

“So, do everything?”

“You got it, babes!”

Laughing you place your wallet in a fanny pack and buckle that diagonally over your chest then pocket your keys in your coat pocket, lanyard hanging out. Usagi locks the door behind you, and you start your jog down the stairs to the front entrance.

Donatello was overdressed. Which meant you were underdressed. But you were also just going to an amusement park…? Huh, Donnie was very literally, perhaps he really did mean a date, romantic-styles? Donatello was dressed in a button up and he left the top three undone (probably to be salacious), peacoat and slacks and was holding a bouquet of mixed flowers. Your heart fluttered at the sight, gods, you wanted to keep him forever.

“Lookit you, wow!” you tuck some hair behind your ear, “You look amazing, Don. Maybe a bit over dressed for an amusement park?” you wink and chuckle and reach for the bouquet which he hastily pushes into your hands.

“Michael insisted I dress for the occasion.” He clarifies and goes to open the car door for you, bending at the waist once it’s open and motioning you to enter, “After you!” You felt like you were going to combust, if you weren’t careful steam would go flying out of your nose and ears at the display of affection.

“So, “for the occasion”, huh?” You wink and hold the flowers in your lap, fiddling with the ribbon holding them together. A small but beautiful assortment of tiny light blue flowers, something that look akin to daisies but purple (you recognize these as ‘Asters’) and finished off with a few white flowers with larger petals. He did mention previously he was into botany, perhaps you’d ask him the flower language later.

This was it, if you could bait him to admit this was in fact a date, you’d know how to follow up with the rest of the evening. Your heart beat erratically against your chest, you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it next to you in the driver seat.

His mouth is in a hard line as you can practically see him think, you ignore the plummeting feeling in your stomach. He’s taking too long to answer and you flounder to fill the silence in the car as he starts it up, “Just kidding! I know we’re just going as friends, relax.” Clenching at you stems of the bouquet you try to release the tension in your hands, you look straight ahead to avoid his gaze. Saving face never hurt so bad before.

“Right!” he chimes in confidently, “You and me? A couple?” he chuckles, “What a laughable notion.”

Your chest seizes painfully, the breath taken from you with his confirmation that he didn’t see you as anything more than friends. The desire to jump out of the car into oncoming traffic was strong with how callous he is with his choice of words. Blinking rapidly, you will the oncoming tears to subside if you take a long shaky breath in and out then clear your throat into a closed fist, “That’s me, a joker! Super hilarious.” Surprising yourself at the steadiness of your voice you recount the number of times you thought there was something, anything, between the two of you. While you’d never admit it out loud to yourself or anyone else (for fear it would make things ‘real’), you had come to terms with your feelings for your friend. You were delusional for the entirety of the last few months as you came to terms with your ever-growing feelings for Donatello. Every almost-touch, smile in your direction and shared laugh with him were all platonic.

Deep breaths, you can salvage tonight. It’ll be like any other time you’d hung out, just suffocate those feelings with a pillow and move on. Just for tonight, especially when Donnie had put so much thought into ‘the date’, you could cry when you got home.

Donatello reaches for the volume button on the dashboard and turns the volume up slightly, the silence in the car deafening to you. Your eyes gaze over to the console and snort, “Gigachad Theme – Phonk House Version? Exquisite taste, good sir.” The thrum of the bass washes over you, the song isn’t that bad.

“I’m not a fan of the song title being ‘Gigachad’ but it is a groovy beat. The beat is addictive.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve had a nightcore phase.”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut then.”

You laugh, the grip around your heart loosening ever so slightly. He turns his head to catch your gaze and he smiles, a little crooked and a little awkward but it’s unequivocally ‘Donatello’. Averting your gaze, short of breath makes an appearance as your grip is tightened, anxiety making itself a lasting presence as you near Albearto’s. You wanted to throw up.

“I’m a musical theatre connoisseur.”

“You? Donatello ‘knows all the words to Hamilton’ Hamato? Who would’ve thought.” You joke as he pulls into the parking lot. He parks and you unclip your seatbelt and gingerly set down the bouquet in the back seat to grab later. You see him step into a light jog to get to the other side of the car and to humble him you open the car door yourself, “It’s not a date, Don. No need to play the part.” The venom in your voice is light but it’s there. Giving him a pat, pat on the shoulder, you close the door behind you and toss him a half-baked smile.

He nods and you hear the car click to signify it locked. He catches up to you in a few long strides while you take in the amusement park setting. The smell of popcorn and the sound of ambient screaming- your favorite.

“Okay, well where do we start?” You twirled on one foot to face him clasping your hands behind you back. You were determined to make the most of tonight, even if looking at him too long made you want to burst into tears.

“Based on our previous conversation, you’re the one who seems to love amusement parks. I figured this would be best suited for your discretion!” he bends at the waist, one arm over his midsection and the other extending outwards to the park, as if offering it humbly to you. For fucks sake, everything about him was so cute.

“Letting me take the wheel, huh? Alright! Rides first!” Maybe some adrenaline filled rides would be good at mood boosting for you. Instinctually you reach for his hand and being mindful, go to grab his wrist instead of closing your fingers around his. You conceal a wince at the ache in your chest.

The two of you zipped around the park and started off with the most intense rides, only taking small breaks in between for some sips of water to keep your stomachs empty to avoid any ‘TummyTello’ incidents. Donatello didn’t have much of a sweet tooth but did indulge in sharing some popcorn in line for another rollercoaster, passing on the more sugary confections. The adrenaline buzz from the rides helped you feel lighter, even if only for a brief time. You steady yourself on the bars after a particularly extreme coaster letting the giggles flow out of you as you catch your breath.

He stares at you fondly and offers a clothed bicep to hold onto to keep moving, “Are the animatronics ruining it for you yet?” Shaking your head, you give his bicep a light squeeze to indulge yourself then let go, “Nah, the animatronics I guess give the park a bit of flare. I think it’s time for some churros though! You promised.” Rubbing your hands together in anticipation you look over at him to find him staring off in the distance at a coaster at the other end of the park. Donatello moves to obscure your vision of the coaster, “Churros! That’s right, absolutely. I’ll go get them for us!” his movements are rushed, and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

You nod slowly, “Sure thing, bud. You alright?”

“Yes! I am simply ecstatic to retrieve a churro. The churro I promised to get you.” He spins you around so you’re facing the other way and gently pushes you to walk, “You’ll have to wait all the way over here though, okay?” he pats you on both shoulders then squeezes, “And face this way! There’s a lovely view of the pier!” You feel his hands leaves you, “I’ll be right back!”

You turn your head and jump at his hands on both sides of your head from behind, “You don’t want to miss the pretty lights at the pier, right?” you feel a puff of breath at the side of your cheek and realize he’s dangerously close to your face. Nodding stiffly, you keep your eyes in the direction you’re facing, focussing on the lights strewn up around the park, they were pretty. A very odd display from Donatello though. Picking at your finger nails and the cuticles around them you wait for Donatello to come back with the sugary snack, except he takes far longer than you’d anticipate. Pulling out your phone you check the time, ten minutes, perhaps there was an extremely long line to get churros.

Letty: lmao okay so will fill in details later pretty sure he confirmed he does not like me rip this was not a date romantic-styles, I want fling myself off a coaster or smth lmao

Usagi: youre actually joking right that cant be right

Usagi: ur still there w him tho?

Usagi: ok wait don’t talk to me abt it rnrn, I don’t want u to get sad while ur out still, call me when ur done

Letty: ya well I wasn’t going to cancel the hangout!!!! We were already driving in the car, okay also hes taken like 10 minutes to get me a churro ???? like that’s way too long right?

Your ears pick up on footsteps approaching, you turn your head and it’s Donatello in a light jog to get to you, hair slightly mused, his complexion a bit flushed. He’s sans churro.

“I’m back, my sincerest apology for the intermission on our evening.” He’s not quite out of breath, but his tone of voice is not as put together as he usually is, and Donatello is a very calculated, put together person.

“Did you eat the churro on the way back, or?” Hands crossed over your chest, you jut out a hip and quirk a brow and throw a playful smile his way. He stiffens, “The churro,” he shouts and facepalms, “I knew I was forgetting something.”

You wave him off, “Hey, it’s not problem. Were you having like a, TummyTello moment?” you snicker against your palm as he looks at you sheepishly, “Yes. I was most definitely having a TummyTello moment, I was using the…. lavatory and just…. forgot.” He finished lamely, pink dusting his cheeks. Laughing you push him in the shoulder, “Gross, I hope you washed your hands after. All good, lets just go get a churro now.”

Stopping suddenly you reach into your fanny pack, “Here, it’s an Imodium.” You pop the pill into his hand and hand him the water, “It’ll help so you don’t have any more TummyTello moments. Happens to the best of us.” He nods and chuckles awkwardly, “Thanks, Letty.”

Letty: ok he came back he deadass was in the bathroom for 10 mins, literally almost shat himself or smth LOL

Letty: he has a sensitive tummy, he calls it ‘TummyTello’ hes so cute

Usagi: im disgusted, what the fuck

Usagi: on a srs note, it do be happening like that sometimes. Maybe he has IBS

Letty: right! That’s what I said, it happens to the best of us honestly lmao still super funny tho like LOL

Stifling your giggles, you pocket your phone and head over to the nearest churro booth.

“It’s ok Don, when we need to go, we need to go! I’m not judging you.”

“That’s enough.”

“Donnie,” you face him and cup your hands around your mouth as if you’re about to tell him a secret, and he leans down to placate you, “everybody poops, it’s okay, buddy.”

“I am begging you to release me from the chains of my mortal body.”

Leaning into his shoulder as giggles flow out of you, you slot nicely between the space he makes for you as his hand moves to hover around your waist before ultimately making it’s home there. It’s cozy where you are but you don’t let yourself get too lost in it given the earlier revelation. Drinking in the way his hand feels on your waist, you pull away swiftly sighing at the loss.  

After a short wait, Donatello says a quick ‘thank you’ and hands you the sugary snack. Squealing you take the first bite immediately, “Thanks, Don!” The crunch of the cinnamon sugar is your favorite part of the churro.

“Bite.” You offer the stick to him and with a roll of his eyes he grasps over your fist to steady your hold and take a small bite.

“The sugar granules sticking to everything really makes this a treat.”

“Oh, fuck off, more for me then! Wouldn’t want you to have another TummyTello moment anyways.” You stick a tongue and watch him flounder for a witty remark that doesn’t come.

There aren’t any free tables, so you make your way to one with two men sharing a candy apple and a soft drink. You recognize the pair as you’d seen them run the ‘Foot Shack’, they were a cute couple. Bundled in winter clothes they talked amongst themselves as the larger one daintily picks up a pre cut apple slice.

You give them both a nod paired with a friendly smile, and they shuffle to make room for you and Donatello before continuing with their conversation, voices a little more hushed now that they had to share the space.

“C’mere. There’s some room.” Pulling your friend closer to you, you turn your body towards him to give the two of you the same semblance of privacy. His movements are suspicious, and you don’t miss the way he puts himself between you and the table. You give him a look of confusion, was there something you were missing? You look around the area and nothing was remiss that you could see. I mean, sure, the Foot Shack couple had flames atop their heads and face paint on but it was also New York and that really wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d seen living in the city.

Wordlessly you offer up the churro and he takes a bite, glaring at the men across from you. You nudge him in the elbow roughly, “Dude. Knock it off.” You hiss bringing his attention back around your way. Sheepishly you grin at them, “Sorry about him, he has no manners!”

Donatello keeps his gaze trained on them, “Lets pick another table.” He moves his around you protectively and begins to move, but you don’t budge, “Donatello!” you admonish. This seems to snap him out of his thoughts and the look he gives you resembles a wounded puppy. His grip loosens but doesn’t leave you, still trying to cue you to leave with him. Grumpily you shrug his hand off your shoulder and glare at him, “It’s fine! You’re worked up over nothing.” you say quiet enough for him to hear but hopefully not loud enough for the pair across from you.

The larger one shrugs, “We look a lil funny, we get it.” He motions to the active flame on his head. The slender one nods, his voice all gravel, “Yes, we’re an odd sight to see indeed.” He waves his hand in the air dismissively and continues eating.

“There are weirder things in New York.” You remark back with a smile, glad that Donnie’s attitude hadn’t sullied their evenings as it was doing to yours.

Silence overtakes the two of you as the air becomes stale. What was wrong with him!? There was no rational explanation for his behavior, these two worked at a literal shoe retail store. They looked maybe a little scary, but they were sharing a candy apple for gods sake! They were virtually harmless in your books. Donatello couldn’t be that shallow, could he? It seemed as if he was judging them based on their appearance and nothing else.

In your peripheral Donatello was looking away, a scowl gracing his features. His arms crossed over his chest, body language cold towards you. The tension was palpable.

“This is a weird question, but are the churros here good?” the large one asks you as he points to the half eaten treat. You nod, “Yeah! Did you want a bite? It’s better fresh, it’s a little cold now but it’s still good!” you’ve already broken off a piece of him and he nods enthusiastically.

You yelp as liquid spills off the table and onto your front, the cup toppled over and rolls off the table. In the surprise exchange you also manage to drop your churro, the treat now covered in dirt at your feet. Your brain moves a mile a minute trying to figure out how you were now partially soaked by Pepsi. Your eyes fixate on Donatello’s tight grip on the stranger’s wrist mid way over the table.

“Don’t touch her.” His tone dangerously low and laced with venom, refusing to lighten his grip.

“Donnie!”

He snaps back to reality and releases the strangers wrist upon seeing you. His eye flit over your clothes and frantically reaches for near by napkins, “Violet, I-“

“Save it, Don.” You snatch the napkins out of his hands, your temper boiling over and your face hot, tears pinpricked at your eyes. His hands curl inwards towards himself, hesitant to touch you but you can’t be bothered to care. “Apologize to them if you’re going to apologize to anyone.” He opens his mouth and closes it as you turn towards to pair, “I apologize on behalf of my friend, I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Can I get you anything to make up for it?”

The slender one hands you a few more napkins and shakes his head, “It looks like you got the brunt end of it, we’re tougher than we look.” Muttering a ‘thank you’ take the napkins from him and continue dabbing yourself off.

Sighing you look back up at Donatello, his expression full of remorse as he wrung his hands together.

“I’ll be right back.”

Ignoring the wet pants feeling, you jog over to the nearest private bathroom to make do of the fiasco that was tonight. Ensuring the door was locked behind you, you shuck your pants off, wrung out the excess liquid then hung them over the automatic dryer. Even though they were concealed, you could still feel your ears and tails puffed to twice their size. Feeling a twitch in your leg, you let your leg thump rapidly against the floor as you scream into your open palms.

There you stood, in an amusement park bathroom, essentially naked from the waist down and covered in Pepsi. How far the mighty have fallen.

You have half a mind to call Usagi and ask him to come pick you up, but you don’t.

Your pants are still slightly damp after ten minutes, but you weren’t going to stay here all evening waiting for them to dry. You cringe as you pull on the cold fabric and exit the bathroom. You do a light job back to the table to find Donatello and the two men…not there.

Frantically you look around trying to catch a glimpse of purple in the surrounding area to tell you where he’d wandered off to. Anger bubbled up in your chest and you stifle a screech as you start to power walk to the exit.

“Wait! Letty!”

Donatello’s voice elicits an aggravated sigh paired with an eye roll as you turn around to face him. “What is it now, Donatello? You ditch me and-“ you pause and stare. Your hands gesture to his clothes in shock, “What the fuck is going on!?”

There stood Donatello, in all his glory. Shirt rumpled, inside out and with the buttons were mismatched to the wrong hole which lead to the bottom of his shirt being wildly uneven. His pants equipped but backwards. You guess he’s lucky enough to remember socks since he doesn’t have shoes on.

He looks down and startles, he’s all flailing limbs and stuttering excuses. He runs his hands through his hair, “Ha ha, I can totally explain this!”

Your blank stare is enough to prompt him to keep going.

He starts to fumble with the buttons of his shirt pathetically, his gaze cast downwards, “Okay, listen. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while and-“ It’s like déjà vu as there’s a bright purple glow underneath his shirt sleeve he stares at, then his phone buzzes in his now front pocket.

“And?”

He opens his mouth to speak but closes it as his phone starts to ring. “I’m really sorry, I have to take this.” Donatello sprints in the opposite direction, leaving you with nothing but questions and anger.

You think your hearing is playing tricks on you as you exit the park and hear a far off, what you think, is an explosion but when you turn around, there’s no indication of the sorts but you catch a glimpse of a flash of orange and red in the distance. “Great, now you’re also going crazy.” You mutter and walk towards the street; you’d have to get an Uber home as you recalled Usagi being out and would most likely not be able to get you.

You phone buzzes in your pocket and it’s the menace himself. You pocket it and let it go to voicemail. On the third call, your annoyance hitting an all time high, you pick up.

“What?”

“There are not enough words to express how deeply apologetic I am for how tonight went. Let me make it up to you.”

There’s some shuffling and you swear you can hear the clash of some blunt object hitting something then a grunt.

“….Okay, where are you?”

There’s a sharp inhale, “Phalange sandwich!”

This has to be a prank call, or atleast prank call adjacent. Was this an attempt to be… funny? You stare at your phone incredulously, “I-….is there… like, a finger sandwich place at Albeartos? Do you want me to turn around and meet you there?” You turn 180 degrees and take a step towards to the park. You could not believe you were still entertaining the thought of going back to see him for an explanation.

“No!”

Your thumb and forefinger pinch the bridge of your nose, “Ok! I won’t turn around then.” You do another 180 degree turn and take a step forward back towards the street.

“Er, yes! Turn around! I was…speaking to someone else!”

Another turn and a step towards the park, “Who’re you talking to? Who else is there?” Donatello didn’t mention any friends that worked at the park.

“It’s none of your business!”

You rip the phone away from your ear and stare at your astonished face in the reflection of the black screen, “Excuse me!?” You were a shade away from committing manslaughter tonight. You’d call Usagi and his boyfriend to help bury the body.

“Violet, I- fuck,” He sounds just as annoyed as you are, which is saying something since you were just about to plan his murder. Why did he sound annoyed!? He literally called you! There’s a crash sound on the other end but you’re too furious to care. “Violet,” an exasperated sigh and another crash.

“Listen, if this is your weird way of doubling down that you don’t have feelings for me, this is in crazy bad taste.”

“No! No, of course not.” There’s some more fumbling around and he’s much more out of breath now.

“Can you just tell me what’s going on!?”

“Galileo, Newton and the stars above, just shut up for two seconds! I can’t even think!” his voice sounds far away but the message is loud and clear.

“‘Shut up’? ‘Shut up’!? You literally called me! Fuck you Donatello!” You scream into the receiver then hang up, going through your phone and muting him on every platform you had him on.

Letting out a primal scream, you scare the pedestrians around you and they all take a few steps back from you as you cross the street and hail the nearest cab with a whistle. You were never going to speak to him again. How dare he! Who did he think he was talking to?! Not you, that’s for sure.

Fingernails dug into your palms to ground you as the cab driver makes quick work of getting you home. You toss money at him not caring about the change and slam the door on the way out. Your hands fumble your keys, and you drop them, “Fuck!” Reaching down you snatch them off the floor and hit your head on the door handle coming up, “OH my god.” A hand flies up to your head and you whined as it stung.

You were going to jump into oncoming traffic if anything else happened tonight.

You head up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, until you reach your door. You carefully slot the key in the hole, unlock the door and enter your apartment. You pull your boots of and violently throw them on the ground with a grunt, your jacket makes its own sad pile on the floor as well.

Letty: IDK WHERE U ARE, COME OVER ASAP LIHGLKRGD

Letty: IM NOT JOKING

Letty: I DON’T THINK IM EVER GOING TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN WHERE TF R U BB PLZ THERE IS DRAMA

Tossing your phone on the kitchen table, you busy your hands with tidying up the kitchen, trying your best not to shatter any dishware in anger. Pulling your cloaking brooch off, you toss it into the jacket and shoe pile, your ears puffed and flat against your head. Behind you, the balcony door clicks and slides, “Ugh, holy fuck, thank god you weren’t far! It’s been ages since you’ve entered through the balcony though, like, babes, you have a key-“

Did you say you were going to run into oncoming traffic? Scratch that, you were just going to swan dive off your balcony and hope for the best.

“Why’re you breaking into my apartment!?”

“You don’t live here!” The turtle in blue points accusingly at you, his body halfway into your living room.

“I don’t live here!? Then who the fuck lives here? I didn’t know turtles had such bad eyesight ‘cause I’m standing in the middle of my fucking apartment right now!”

“Doesn’t Yuichi live here?!”

“I mean, he fucking might as well!”

You clutch onto your metaphorical pearls as the two of you catch your breath. “Ohkay, lets start over. I’m Leo, you’re…Intercom Girl.”

“Violet, that’s super fucking rude of you to not use my name because I know for a fact it has been name dropped around you.”

“Riiight, I’m Leo and you’re a shade of purple.”

“Get the fuck out right now.”

“I’m kidding!”

There’s a pause as the two of you stare each other down, his body still half in and half out of the apartment.

“Okay, so…..Yuichi doesn’t live here. But I’ve very casually followed him home before to make sure he makes it there safely and he always comes here.”

“That’s super fucking weird. Slightly alarming. Does he know he’s dating a stalker?”

“….Did he tell you that we were dating?” his eyes glitter with what you think is hope. You roll your eyes, “For fuck sakes, just come in Leo. No, he didn’t explicitly say y’all were dating but you might as well be right?” He bites on his lip to curb the full length of the smile threatening to make an appearance.

He enters and closes the balcony door behind him, then sets his swords down on the coffee table. He leans against your entertainment unit casually and inadvertently knocks over a vase. The resounding crack of it breaking on the floor is almost enough to make you feral.

“Heh heh, sorry for breaking and entering!” He does finger guns at you, he chuckles nervously.

“The broom is in the closet by the bathroom and just bag it up. There are garbage bags under the sink and please take it out with you when you leave.”

“Gotcha.”

Slowly you make your way to your bedroom, pick out some soft pajamas then head to the bathroom. You check on Leo and he’s still painstakingly cleaning up the vase. His tongue sticks out just the tiniest bit as he concentrates on getting every piece of broken glassware in a bag. You’d think it’s cute if you weren’t so drained.

“Don’t murder me, I’m going to cry and shower.”

You get a thumbs up in return.

After having a light cry in the shower and tossing on your favorite pajamas and fuzzy socks, you exit the bathroom and is greeted by three cups of tea on the kitchen counter. Your nose doesn’t detect Usagi in the vicinity other than having his scent linger on Leo.

“I wasn’t peaking on purpose, but you also don’t have a privacy setting on your phone. Yuichi’s coming over, he said he’s on the way.”

“You’re just like him, overstaying your welcome.” Your hand grasps the warm mugs, “Thanks though, that’s very…sweet of you to make tea for us. I take it you’re staying?” Leo sips on his tea, “A friend of Yuichi’s is a friend of mine!”

“Weren’t you and your turtle companion convinced that I was trying to bomb the Yokai bank or something?”

“My brother is one thing and one thing only: dramatic. I knew you were harmless from day one!”

You roll your eyes and make your way to the couch, tea in one hand as you use the other to make the couch into a pull out bed. “And what about our chat at the hotel? Did I just imagine how poorly that went?”

“Oh, that!” he waves his hand dismissively and makes himself at home on your couch, “Yeah, my bad, Bunny. That was a lapse in judgement, I don’t have them often. But I am glad I was wrong about you.” He comments with earnest and flashes you a small smile. “Looks like you’ve had it rough tonight, and not in the fun way.”

You snort, “Yeah, you could say that. You can stick around for the drama, if you’re serious about Usagi, I’m sure you’re going to be spending a lot of time here.”

Leo smiles at you, his gaze soft, “Yeah, I like him a lot. Like, it’s different with him, yenno?”

You wanted to relate, but couldn’t after the encounter you just had but you nod anyways. “Yeah, I get you. If you hurt him though, I’ll have to kill you. I don’t care that you saved New York.” You winked and he guffaws, “Yeah, I like you. No worries, hermosa, Yuichi’s the one for me.” he says with the utmost confidence. There was a tone of finality in his voice and you found yourself not caring that he took up most of the couch with his hulking body and shell.

There’s a soft click at the door and you both turn around, “I’m here! I’m here!” he stops dead in the doorway, “Leo!?” a surprised gasp from Usagi.

“He broke in. Entered through the balcony.”

“Leo!” cue another surprised gasp, but slightly more accusatory.

“Honey bunny, so nice of you to finally join the hot goss!”

You fake gag, “Honey bunny? For fucks sake, you’re lucky I don’t kick you both out right now.” You smile playfully at your best friend. You don’t see the blush, but you know it’s there. They embrace and you watch the way Leo’s fingers curl into Usagi with care, like he can barely stand to let go when they’re done. It makes your chest ache, but you’re so happy for your best friend.

“I can come up with more rabbit related names, Doc.” Leo winks your way and hands Usagi his cup of tea.

“Doc?” Usagi quirks a brow.

“Like, ‘what’s up, doc?’, Bugs Bunny?”

Usagi stares, “I don’t get it. Must be a human thing.”

You laugh, “It is, don’t worry, Gigi.” You lean back into the couch cushions, “I’m fine with Bunny, given you don’t call him that.”

Leo nods in affirmation, “Bunny, it is!” he looks over at Usagi with a mischievous glint in his eye, “I call him my wittle white wabbit.” Usagi tries to hide his face in his hands but Leo grabs both his cheeks and squishes them together before nuzzling their noses together, “Leo! That’s enough, you’re embarrassing me.”

You guffaw, “You’re both terrible! Fuck off and stop being cute in my apartment.”

“Your apartment? I mean, looks like it’s our apartment now.” Leo gestures to Usagi’s slippers by the door and his katanas on the table. You muffle your scream into a pillow and you bounce as Usagi flops onto the couch, “Okay, what the fuck happened at Albeartos!?”

You groan and lay down, “I don’t even have the words to explain what happened tonight! Ugh, I can’t even say his name without wanting to throw myself down the stairs!” You launch into a forty-minute story telling which included pulling out a spare white board to draw diagrams and doodles to accurately portray the ‘date’ night from Hell, you omit is name and switch between calling him ‘Purple Bastard’ and ‘this fucking guy’ the entire time.

Leo whistles low and long as Usagi sits mouth agape. The tea (literally and metaphorically) had run dry, a bag of chips joined the katanas and Leo’s blue mask on the coffee table.

You nod and throw your head back against the cushions, “Is it bad that I hate him but I don’t actually.”

“As your friend who cares and loves you, I think we should go to bed and think about it tomorrow after you’ve had some sleep.” Usagi reasons, “But also, fuck that guy.”

Leo nods, “You’re telling me, fuck that guy.” He enunciates every word as he wags his finger in the air for dramatic flair. You don’t have enough energy to chuckle, but you do think it’s adorably funny. You decide that you do like Leo.

“I muted him on everything already, and I’m not going to look at my phone.” Usagi crawls over to you and pulls you into his chest, “This sucks, and I know it sucks and I’m sorry.”

The terrapin pats your thigh comfortingly, “If you need me to, I can totally hunt this guy down with my brothers? We’ll hide the body for you.”

You clutch onto Usagi, tears back full force, “Hah, I’ll let you know when I need your services, Blue Justice.” Your voice comes out warbly, wet with tears. “Are you staying the night Leo? I mean, you two live here right?” your voice is muffled against Usagi’s chest but Leo’s laughter means he definitely heard you.  

“Not tonight, Bunny. Next time, I gotta head home.” He gives Usagi a kiss on the forehead and you a comforting squeeze on the shoulder, you reach up and squeeze his fingers back. He opens a portal, picks up his swords, the bag with the broken vase and heads through.

“He can stay. He’s a pretty boy with portal magic or whatever.”

Usagi laughs, the sound is bright and clear in your ear, it sends warmth to your bones, “Everything we wanted, huh? He can portal us around New York now! We will never have to take an Uber Pool again.” You hum in agreement.

‘Thanks for coming’, you sign, exhaustion taking over your body. Usagi nuzzles against you, “I got your back. And, I guess, so does Leo.”

‘You have great taste in men. I want one.’

Your friend chuckles, “I’ll download a Yokai dating app tomorrow for you.”

It was never your favorite before, but you found that you were quite fond of the color blue now.

TBC

A/N OKAY this is still a donniexreader, it wont become a leoxreader, I ASSURE YOU. and just to set up expectations, the next chapter will be this same chapter but from donnies pov bc i thought itd be fun, this chapter ended up being much sadder/serious than i intended, so hopefully seeing this from donnie’s pov will lighten the mood because the way ive pictured this on his end made me cackle LMAO 

also, hopefully this doesnt become too tired with them getting interrupted every time they try to tell eachother something, i try to space out those types of interactions because they can get a bit repetitive obviously. i have the rest of the chapters vaguely thought out and we really only have another 5-7 chapters left if it stretches that long, but i promise ppl gon start figuring shit out for sure lmfao weve had a few close calls so its building up!! 

this is a solid 17 pages so i hope yall enjoy!!

TAGLIST : @moonlightmarauder @goldenpanda16 @maribatshipper

[nostalgiapocalypse]

Part twi thoughts?

putting this under a cut AND tagging it bc ij spoilers. okay

first of all, ron and reagan. i would have LOVED them hating eachother for another length of time, at least one more episode!! but the way they progress makes up for it, especially with how they concluded their arc in the end. ron is happy now and i'm happy he's happy.

GOD. OKAY. KEANU VAMPIRE SWORD FIGHT. THAT FUCKED MAJORLY ALRIGHT?

RAND AND ROBOTUS FUCKING ROUGHT OVRR TAMIKO???? LOVELY????

also gigi got some more to her character this season! even if it's just a few tidbits she got a bit more. she's soft for her friends sobs

brett's puppet hobby???? hi???? lil brett???? brett autism and his special interest is hand puppets.

EVEN IF HE DIDN'T BACK THE COUG IN EPISODE ONE HE STILL HAD REAGAN'S BACK FROM THE START. SOB THEIR FRIENDSHIP MAKES ME SO HAPPY

episode 5. um. well i'm glad that brett could stand up for himself :) i'm not particularly comfortable with politics :)

brett looked like an emo in the halloween episode alskskdjdbs

lmm being made fun of is good and funny. as an ex hamilton fan though i got timeflashed to middle school.

tictac joke in the keanu episode. head in my hands

can we talk about ron's catholic guilt. i want to talk about that,

anyways. ron :] he's gonna be okay ! i already have ideas to put him through hell though sorry buddy

[constance rtc voice] i'm still thinking about when those two boys kissed (<- whatshisname and rand)

i already forgot ron/martin's new last name im sorry

[phoenixrising0308]

Slippery When Wet

This is my reluctant entry to @smut-tember week 3! The rules are to use two from list A and one from List B… well I’m an overachiever… I used all of the words from list  A as and mood killer I picked injuries. If you know me from my previous tumblr life you know that this is a running joke and one that I am happy to revisit for two special friends! The idea behind smut-tember can be found here but it’s basically writing smut and making it cringe-worthy. So I also used some interesting words of my own.

ALSO double duty as my wacky drabble entry for week 113 “This is [my/your/their/her/our/their] lucky day!” Prompt in bold

Books: The Royal Romance 1-3 to Royal Heir.

Rating: M (18+) Sexual situation and adult themes.

Trigger Warnings: 🍋 so NSFW cursing

Pairing: Regina (Gigi Rys) x Robin Flores & Jessica Garica Rys small cameo Mateo Garcia (Brother)

Disclaimer

A/N 1: Jessica and Regina still have their friendship bracelets... Someone gets breast implants while the other bedazzles her vagina. A chance encounter at a club leaves someone broken.

A/N 2: Dirty Regina/ Raunchy Regina  ... I believe there is a place on the fandom for geriatric love.

Story Song inspiration: The Greatest - Sia remix ft. Kendrick Lamar

Word Count: 998 *As always, forgive my typos and grammatical errors.*

Reading time: 3 minutes

Regina’s Quarters

Jessica sat in front of Regina and said, “Gigi they are still perky fun bags for a 70-year-old woman. I really don’t know why you feel they need something more.”

Regina said “Connie always said that my hooters could use a little ump. Jessie, it’s easy for you to say when you have two perfect Areola Alps.” Regina held out her hands in front of her chest and said, “I want a nice pair of knockers.”

Jessica rolled her eyes “I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead but fuck him he framed me and kept me away from Liam.” Jessica held up her wrist and Regina did the same, the two taping their friendship bracelets that immortalized their friendship despite their years of being at odds with each other.

Jessica continued “Okay well I have to say my breasts are full but that’s because I’m a Dairy pillow for the royal heir. Man, I can’t get the girl off my coconuts. But if you want to hook up your Bongo’s  This is your lucky day! I know a Doctor he is… ehhh friend. He opened up a practice with a partner in New York. They used to work together in Boston but they needed a change. He had a rough break-up; Ex she cheated on him with a phlebotomist named Cody; they were in quarantine together.”

“Well if you trust him I’ll do it. Let's turn these bubbies into bonbons!”

6 weeks later ...

Jessica stood in the waiting room flipping through a magazine waiting for Regina's final post-op appointment with Dr. Lahela when she noticed an ad “Turn your meat curtains into a treasure chest of love. Image your Secret place adored with thousands of expertly placed Austrian Swarovski crystals.” Jessica thought to herself ‘I got a fresh Brazilian so no public hair he's got a blank canvas.’  She went to the front counter and said, “Can Doctor Ramsay fit me to bedazzle my Doo-Dah?”

The Receptionist said, “Oh sure he has an opening right now I will put you in room three it should be 3 hours and you will have to wait for 24hrs for the surgical glue to dry but your Lady Garden will be like a chandelier. Also if you’re interested he can do a vaginal rejuvenation and it would feel like your hymen is intact.”

Jessica smirked “Kegels and a tip-top tight penis fly trap.. yes!”

Four seasons Hotel…

Regina looked at her new DD’s and smiled at the bounce they gave she was ready for a night out of town. She turned to Jessica who was nude from the waist down with a fan pointed at her beaver. “Gigi I wish I could join you but I got to let this air dry. Don’t worry Mateo will be your detail cause fucken Bastien is a narc. Have a good night but remember you got new Bra Buddies but you still have the same equipment lets not repeat the past here.”

Kismet Club --Soho

Regina held up her glass at the young gentleman who brought her a drink. He walked over and said, “I noticed you were alone so am I SO thought I could by you a drink.”

“Thank you, my name is Gigi who should I thank for the drink?”

“My name is Robin… Robin Flores.”

45 minutes later...

Regina gripped Robin’s shirt, pulling him down for a deep kiss. Robin returned her kiss, humming and gripping her waist to pull her closer. “Your Love stick is hard already?” she whispered with a little laugh, making Robin blush.

Robin smiled, continuing to kiss her. “I can’t help myself, I suckled on your cans and I just couldn’t hold back,” he replied, taking her hand and leading her to the men’s bathroom. He lead her into a stall and began before kissing her neck. Regina closed her eyes, smiling as she felt small shocks of pleasure run down her body. She felt warm, and based on his temperature when she grabbed his bicep to pull him closer, he was feeling the same way.

Regina lightly pushed him again the door she pulled up his shirt and then unbuttoned his pants, going onto her knees slowly on the floor pulling down his pants. Robin helped her, sighing with anticipation. Regina reached to palm him slowly through his boxer briefs, making him groan and run his fingers through her hair. “I want to fuck your mouth with my rod,” he mumbled delicately, a deep sigh leaving his lips as his head fell back.

Regina’s fingers moved under Robin’s underwear, pulling them off to reveal his throbbing twinkie. Regina licked her lips, looking up at him with lust in her eyes. She licked up the underside of his danger noddle before wrapping her lips around the head. Robin groaned, his back arching a bit. “Ah, just like that,” he gasped as she licked over a sensitive spot. Regina resisted the urge to smile, beginning to bob her head very slowly to start. Robin tried not to buck up his hips, settling on arching his back rather sharply instead. Regina went lower, eventually taking almost his whole length in her mouth. Robin groaned even louder, spreading his legs a bit more as they shook. Regina set her hands on each of his thighs, hollowing her cheeks expertly.

From above her, Robin continued to moan. Robin eventually pulled out of her mouth, stroking himself as baby batter landed all over her chest, neck, and floor.

Mateo walked into the bathroom shouting and said, “Ok Fresca (Fresh) break this shit up. Stop acting like a loca (crazy/fool) cause you got new Titas.

Robin walked out of the bathroom first and followed by Regina who shamelessly wiped her mouth as Mateo glared at them. Before she knew it she found herself flying in the air the having slipped on Robin’s love juice. As she landed on the cold hard floor she heard it crack and she knew that she had broken her hip for the 2nd time. Regina cried out in pain and shouted “Not again this damn osteoporosis!

[shewholovestoread]

The L Word Generation Q - The Bette and Dani Fight

One of the scenes that most intrigued me was the fight between Dani and Bette in episode 8. Throughout season 1 and the first half of season 2, we saw the closeness between Dani and Bette. I think in a lot of ways, Bette sees herself in Dani. They have similar family dynamics and are both incredibly driven and ambitious women. Dani also looks up to Bette, she idolises her and even had a crush on her in season 1. I love this scene because it establishes a few important things.

We start the scene with Dani taking Bette to the CAC and Bette has no idea why they’re there. What I find interesting is how uncomfortable Dani appears and as it will turn out, not for the right reason. She wants to make sure that Bette knows that she cares about her and their friendship. She clearly likes Gigi and wants to be with her and at the same time, hoping that Bette is okay with it and she’s terrified that she won’t be or that she might still have feelings for Gigi. I think Bette sees her discomfort and offers her a smile, and the reassurance that she values their friendship as well.

Dani’s finally worked up the courage to speak to Bette about Gigi. The events of the previous night was all the push she needed, once she realised that Gigi was serious about them, she was willing to broach the subject with Bette. She’s so caught up in how to start that conversation that she misses Bette’s expression. Bette’s face completely closes off and she’s wearing her trademark pissed-off look.

Dani’s first instinct at Bette’s question is to assume that she’s talking about Gigi and immediately starts to apologise and explain herself (though she clearly didn’t need to) And Bette finally voices what everyone had been saying about Bette and Gigi, that she never cared much for Gigi to begin with. To the extent that even as she says, “I don’t give a fuck about Gigi.” she’s clearly distracted. In her self-righteous anger, she misses what Dani was trying to ask her.

The CAC endowment deal is something that Dani had to work very hard to finalise and she’s proud of it. This is her way of making sure that her father’s company is finally doing some good in the community. And more than that, it’s her baby, the entire initiative was her idea.

Dani brings Bette to the CAC to show her something she was proud of accomplishing, she wants it to be a surprise for Bette because, in part, I think she did because of Bette, knowing how much art means to her. Dani’s so sure that Bette will be happy that it completely blind-sides her when she realises just how angry she is.

Bette is so angry that she’s not even willing to hear Dani out. She has to know that Rudolfo is in prison and that Dani’s currently the CEO, yet she still asks if the endowment is from her or from Rudolfo. Bette’s lashing out with Dani trying to reason with her, telling her that that was not her intention at all. And Bette keeps shutting her down.

Bette’s main point of contention is the Núñez name in the new wing. She associates it with Rudolfo and all the harm his company has done. But she forgets that it’s Dani’s name as well. I think it’s telling that she actually draws back when Dani says, “That’s my name, too.” As far as Dani knows, her father is in trouble and for all the toxicity of their relationship, she still loves him. The Núñez name is part of her identity and her heritage.

I think Bette just expected Dani to do as she said. That Dani stands up for herself and her name is like drawing a line in the sand as far as Bette is concerned. In her head, that was Dani taking her father’s side. Her expression as Dani says her line is full of venom. I think that’s the moment it became personal for Bette.

Bette tries one more time, telling Dani to fix this and once again when Dani refuses, Bette ends the exchange with a threat.

What I find really interesting throughout this confrontation is that Dani stays calm. She keeps trying to make Bette understand where she’s coming from, trying to reason with her and keeps hitting a wall. And that’s part of what also throws her off, she’s so used to seeing Bette as a reasonable person and seeing this other side, she just doesn’t know how to handle this new Bette.

Bette knows Dani, she knows where she stands and they shared a deep friendship to the extent that she was the first person Dani reached out to for comfort after the Sophie fiasco. Bette also knows that Dani looks up to her and if you were to watch their earlier scenes, you can tell that Bette cares about her as well. That Bette could turn on Dani so viciously is jarring and disturbing.

Was the endowment a good idea, probably not. Was Bette’s reaction warranted, also no. Everything Bette said could have been said in a way where she wasn’t actively attacking Dani. She immediately goes on the offensive, never stopping to think about Dani. She doesn’t stop to see Dani’s point of view, to understand what motivated her, why she did what she did. She doesn’t bother trying to explain to Dani why it was a bad idea and then trying to figure out a solution together, what they could do to make it work or at the very least, reach a compromise. She doesn’t try to have a conversation.

Bette’s preoccupation with her “legacy” is part of the problem with her behaviour this season. I think her loss last season rattled her more than she let on and she desperately wants to do something that she sees as meaningful and leave her mark. It’s a noble endeavour but not when it comes at the cost of other people’s feelings and emotions. Anyone she didn’t view as good enough or her equal was immediately shunned and shut out and I fear next season (if we have one) it will bite her in the ass. It’s not a surprise that her personal life is a mess and if she wants to have some semblance of peace, she’ll have to re-evaluate her choices and actions and how they affect those around her.

I do see Dani and Bette mending their friendship with one key difference, they will come together as equals. The scales were tipped in Bette’s favour because of Dani’s idolisation which gave her opinions and points of view more weight. But not anymore, I think Dani will be more independent and view Bette as more of a peer than her mentor, leading to a better balanced dynamic which ultimately will be good for both of them.

[low-budget-korra]

Comments on The L Word generation Q s02e08

-Already that Gini sex scene in the beginning of the episode? Talk about a good start for a episode

-I understand both Dani and Bette. And i bet the people who didn't watch the OG show will blame all on Bette, treating her as the villain because that's what they always do when Bette is just ... You know...being Bette.

And what pisses me off about this hate that her character is receiving is that they don't even stop a minute to try to understand how stressed she is with both Angie and the donor situation, and her job. Shit ain't easy for Bette these days but since her copying mechanism is different from other characters like Dani, it's like her pain ain't valid

-Pippa wait a goddamn minute damn. You understand this world just as much as Bette. Don't act like it's all Bette's fault when you know it ain't

-YESSS. Bette Porter and her "Fuck". I love hear that woman cursing

-Look at Sophie's face when Finley is talking. Okay hear me out. The only person Sophie really loves is herself.

She doesn't love Dani or Finley, however, she loves what they can give to her. Dani can give a more mature and stable life when Finley can give the full time attention.

The newbies are shitting on Bette Porter when the new Jenny is right here

-Oh look at that. Dani acting like Bette when stressed out and i bet no one will say a thing about it. Also Gigi i love you, you are perfect but you're being too needy

Yes you ain't totally wrong about it but that ain't the right time to talk about it.

-Shut the fuck up Dani's father. I love how Dani is decisive and just stand her ground

-Micah has game y'all

-Tom you shouldn't have shaved. And i didn't like this arc because people can used this Alice - Tom - Nat stuff to justify the whole "bissexual are sluts and will cheat on you" shit. Which is *surprised surprised* is bullshit. And disrespectful

-Okay Tom, you're being to nice with Alice. Stop creating unrealistic expectations on men tho. The bissexuals and straight can agree with that right? lmao

No shade, is just for all i hear about men from straight and bi friends...well, they def aren't nice as Tom. Only like 5 in 50 aren't trash

-Omg don't talk about Dana. I can't. Omg it's given me PTSD from that scene. Please people that care of yourself, i know heath care is expensive and it's not free in every country but please if you can, take care. Don't be the Dana to your Alice. As soon as you discover a decease, the more are your chances to get better.

God I'm crying

-Omg the show made me go from emotional crying to I'm pissed. Ah, and for the record, you know who make Finley start drink again? YOU SOPHIE. YOU DID. And instead of talking with her about it what you did? You just push her away, which make her go find the attention and caring on the alcohol because you, Sophie, is unable to give that to someone you claim you love

I still didn't get Jenny's hate (maybe cuz in my re-watch u didn't reach the part she goes ape shit) but i Sophie is terrible and i don't feel bad for hate her because she fucking deserve the hate, I'm sorry.

-The different between Dani and Bette is this. Dani is more open to have a heart to heart conversation and apologies. Bette is way more of passive aggressive or just straight up runaway from it.

-Damn Micah.

- Tess and Shane FINALLY AAAA.

What a beautiful scene

-Sophie and Finley is a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.

Sophie push Finley to the alcohol right when she had a date with her but prefer spend the night with Dani, a few episodes back. Sophie blames Finley for shit that ain't her fault and keeps treating her like trash, demolishing her and make Finley feel like shit

"But Finley is a messy person" We know but she is a adult, she is capable.

What the actual fuck is that you are talking about Sophie? Drunken Finley ain't this monster, she actually is really chill when drunk.

Sophie is like "i love you" "you aren't enough" "look what you did" "hey i sorry" "you are awful"... She treats you like shit, and then she apologize (the "honeymoon phase when she is nice to you so you don't leave her from real) and after a while she treat you like shit again and the cycles continue

Now about the promo:

-I know Finley has lots of internalized trauma since season 1 and all she needs is someone who actually cares about her and not only care about what she can give to them

No, i don't buy this Sophie going after Finley because she did this before and guess what, she throw shit on Finley again

-They are low-key planing for Tibette come back right?

[anonil88]

The L Word Gen Q S4 E4

I got into Texas and almost immediately sat down to watch the new episode. I feel a bit like trash but

Oh fuck he really was frauding like they hinted at in the first season wowwww. Dani is about to be broke unless that is what those papers were for.

At least she is aware she is too good for a man child.

Finley following a passion, I like that.

Not her asking Finley out on a date, even though it could be just as a friend date bot more. I think it even makes Sophie uncomfortable that she even asked that. I get wanting to move on but using a

Shane really heard Alice's mom brought up and said,

Once a flirt always a flirt.

Bette looks the fuck good.

The only person that can find Dani is Sophie.

Aw there is a common understanding and these two actually get along that's nice. I wonder if this is her actual sister, the actors I mean.

Tess and Shane, sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g. Also Tess said you're cute but watch you ruin the projector, so stop.

LMFAO HER MOM IS IN A MLM

No Alice, you broke up with Nat and then ran the fuck away without an explanation. With 2 fucking kids who had grown attached to her and that is why people don't introduce new partners to their children.

Uncle Shane is my favorite thing especially in the bowling jacket.

Shane's dad is an A 1 dickhead and ruined a perfect situation because of his own faults.

Thankyou Shane for asking what it is Angie needed.

Lol I love that they made Angie's highschool issues of your girlfriend being prom queen but that isn't your vibe. Also I'm glad Shane affirmed her urge to go to therapy.

Dani does have avoidant attachment issues, at least they were together for so long that Sophie knows how to side step that.

Ugh seeing Finn so happy is great but is also concerning. I may not like their character much but I would love to see some growth.

Thankyou Micah for being a voice of reason, Sophie asked for time and she never said it was a date. She just wanted to hangout.

Bette could come hunt for me in my artist den any day, but also I feel like Bette is going to fall for this artist. I really hope not because Gigi is a real winner.

I wish Sophie and Dani could just tru things out again because seeing Sophie melt immediately to Dani's touch is everything.

I hope they get Kehlani's music in season 3.

Sophie wants Dani so bad, but she knows they shouldn't do any of this without talking about intimacy or where they want to go first. AND, Sophie needs to break it to Finn that she is viewing them platonically.

Damn Bette is persistent as hell and nervous. Her voice has been trembling with nerves since the first time she talked to this woman. OMG Bette Porter is star struck.

Can Sophie stop lying? Please. Not only to others but to herself. I get being honest is hard but, she needs to because it's clear where she wants to be. If that is both places then its both places but she needs to be honest about it.

Ugh Bette's coat is gorgeous and I hope she meets Angie at the middle of this conversation. Also Angie going to see a therapist on her own was a giant step, as is her being the mediator between her moms.

Tom was annoying last episode, but this one he is much much better. I'm glad he is bringing up Dana because it is a sore topic for everyone but especially Alice.

Ugh so this is making me tear up because grief is so so painful and it never ends. Even when you move on it still sits with you some days.

Lmfao he typed that down quick.

Oh okay Micah! Does he have a crush on Sophie's sister? Omg please tell me he does please. Ugh yo just tell her.

Dinner?!?!?!? Um Elizabeth what are you doing? Oh she is pitching her, wonderful, also I really like this complex work environment plot point. Even though I'm waiting for her to get fired.

Bette using her gift of flirting and gab to get an artist on her side.

Oof they were flirting, but Bette knows she has a girlfriend she can't cheat on. I don't know if Bette is into Gigi like that or maybe she's just so used to being a top in the bedroom and life that she dislikes giving up control.

I like that transition of songs.

Shane is an entire prince charming wrapped up in a bad boy. I love that they really developed her character into a more mature version of who she was when she was young and dumb.

Aww Tess dementia is awful and it sucks that she has been dealing with this alone.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss! Oh fuck no maybe not, did not know that Tess isn't single. 😲

Dani just wanted Sophie to find her passion not to domesticate her. And, Sophie just appreciated Dani for being Dani.

Just be honest even if it hurts. I love how Dani isn't even mad at Sophie, she is like why is Finley such a brat. They need to talk talk about where they are and ask

Finley annoys me, I'm sorry.

Micah tell Maribel you like her please. Its like M&M candy.

Where is Finley even going? See this is why Finley doesn't need to be in a relationship because she immediately jumps to drinking.

Oh wow the are amicably splitting up or not? These two confuse me.

I am liking next episodes preview though.

[shepfax]

legendary 3x07

lmao they're spelling fairytale differently in the episode title and the subtitles

LEIOMY LOOKS SO SEXY

LESLIE JONESSSSSS

Makaveli finally giving me something to chew on!!! Jada's rap was awesome too

Leslie bringing the best energy of any guest judge this season

Finally Revlon going to give us some whimsy, I love the high fashion but I want to smile!

"CHILD THEY DONT EVEN LIKE GIRLS ANYWAY" BITCH

I rly like it when, even if the prompt asks for a single specialist, the other house members give a little taste of the challenge too. Revlon shaking their little French asses before Gigi even took the skirt off

Leslie "WHATS BANJEE?" me too ✋️ lmao learning ballroom terminology as I go

Juicy my beloved, carrying, what else is new. amazing choreo that still showcases ballroom style

yall know I love a werewolf with a fat ass.

Luz may be my favorite individual doll, I wish her a speedy recovery :( I know she would have eaten this up. I feel like it lacks that extra sparkle without her

Golden is extremely fish in drag

Yamamoto absolutely shit the bed on three fab mice runway Jesus that was bad

having a background in marching band, this is a category I can comfortably judge. Keep your damn feets in sync it is not hard if you have good synergy

if I was a judge here I'd chop the hell out of all of them but Juicy fucked it up the least

stunts are so fun to watch I wish the fucken subtitles were correct. he is saying "gimme the stunt" not "gimme the sun" girl who wrote these subs

WOW Revlon taking this category for me

???? what did Yamamoto do to earn any votes lol

LAW. REVLON KILLED IT. HOW DO YOU HATE THAT

the fact that the lowest score this ep is a 40 😳 they're stepping it up

[insomniziam]

Analysis of the PR Relationship between Liam and Maya

Okay, Liam and Maya made their relationship official in September 2019 through Liam’s Instagram post:

(notice how there are only two points of contact on his behalf, the two fingers on her waist and their foreheads. Doesn’t come off very relationship-y to me. I can’t say for sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this were photo shopped) 

Conveniently, this news came to light a few days after the release of his new single at the time, Stack it Up (shocker, I know). And what did we get? The same thing that happened with Zigi:

Bringing attention to Liam’s new single and of course, the new up and coming model (sound familiar to you at all?)

Maya Henry

But who is Maya Henry? The first real news we ever get about her is due to her father spending a whopping 6 million dollars on her fifteenth birthday party back in 2016 (more on that later). But what does this prove? That her father is incredibly rich, and has no issues spending millions of dollars on a single night if it means getting his name in the papers. He hasn’t just done this with Maya, he spent another 4 million on his son’s 18th and another 4.5 million on his own 56th birthday, and both somehow made headlines (paid promo maybe?)

That’s not even the best part... They tried to do their own Kardashian style reality TV show but it flopped massively. 

(Literally the only place I could find it anywhere was dailymotion...)

They have a Facebook page, but most of the videos have been set to private on YouTube so you can’t watch pretty much anything on the page anyway. There’s probably on average 50 interactions per post (and that’s me being generous).

Maya started her own YouTube channel early 2018, but that didn’t gain any traction either (it’s currently sitting at 16K) and there are no videos on the page at all (I’m pretty sure she’s deleted them off, although I can’t find copies of them any where, probably because no one actually cared to download them).

I will admit, she was doing pretty decently before she was connected to Liam, had even done a few international covers for magazines like Elle Romania and Vogue Ukraine.

But Gigi had walked the New York Fashion runway at the age of 18, a feat Maya herself didn’t seem to be nearing. However, Gigi also has a lot of connections that no doubt helped her gain a following (her “friendship” with the Jenners, as well as her connections with Swift and her mean girl posse). 

(If ya’ll don’t see how this was a publicity stunt, I don’t know what to tell you)

But how does an increase of following help you career wise, isn’t about talent? You may ask, and I would have a hard time not chuckling at the question, because talent has nothing to do with it (Miss Gigi “I’m still learning how to cat walk” Hadid is a testament to that).

As for the answer, an increase in following leads to an increase of fans, which leads to an increased likelihood of more people buying the shit her name is attached to - makeup, accessories, clothing lines ect. - and increased viewership that have her (and her ‘best friends’) starring in. *cough* Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show *cough*. 

But one thing in particular that really stood out, was Gigi’s ‘relationship’ with one Zayn Malik... you see where this is going?

Why Liam?

Now, unlike Zayn, Liam didn’t really have any bad press he needed to distract the general public from. However, he pretty much only had three different talking points in interviews; ‘his son’, Cheryl and One Direction. Those three subjects no one really cared to listen to anymore, because it was the same bullshit over and over again. Enter new (but also extremely old) topic: a new girlfriend!

It gave the papers something new to talk about (although funnily enough, they would always end the article talking about Cheryl and her kid), someone Liam could use to promote himself a little more. So although the benefits were heavily leaning to her side, there still was something in it for Liam, and she had already been linked to him in the past, an easy set up.

Maya’s Age (this is where you’ll either feel really grossed out or extremely pissed, fair warning)

Now this is where shit gets hella shady. According to articles, Maya has been 19 since last year: 

Using the fact that Maya’s 15th birthday was in 2016 as according to this Daily Mail article detailing all the expenses and a little bit of quick math, it’s easy to see that she only turned 19 in February of this year.

Now, your eyebrows might be furrowed right now, and you may be asking why does her age matter?She’s still a legally consenting adult. However according to articles, Liam and Maya had actually met back in 2015 at a One Direction Meet and Greet:

Sound familiar at all?:

This shit has me feeling sick to my stomach (I did give you a fair warning) because this is the second time Liam has been linked in some way to what some could argue somewhat child grooming behaviour. Because not only did he meet her back in 2015, when she was actually 14 despite what the papers are trying to tell you she was 15, he apparently started dating her back in 2018, when she was 17 years old:

Realising their mistake, my guess is that Liam’s team tried their best to have her birthday changed a year earlier, so as to make people think they started dating when she was 18, to make their relationship more acceptable. But the damage had already been done, and when someone made a thread on their twitter pointing out this fact, some absolute idiot decided to use Liam’s twitter to try and discredit them:

Despite the fact that neither Liam or Maya were tagged in the thread, meaning that whoever was behind the keyboard would have had to go searching for it, especially since the thread probably only had a few hundred interactions before, they drew eyes to it. (The tinhat in me wants to believe that this was actually a smart move made by Liam to show people just how shady their relationship is, but I highly doubt that fact considering how creepy it makes him look 😒)

And, because people were smart enough to actually read through the thread, they weren’t buying what whoever was running the account at the time was selling:

It’s not a good look, but I guess any press is good press according to Liam’s team.

Conclusion

Maya and her family are crazy thirsty for attention. They tried to acquire that attention through spending millions of dollars on birthdays parties to gain headlines. Obviously not enough for them, they tried out their own reality TV show which somehow made it to season two before scrapping the whole thing entirely due to low ratings. Maya started a YouTube channel, it didn’t go as well as she hoped and then focused on Modelling full time. However she wasn’t climbing anywhere near as much as she would like, and since her father had no issues paying for celebrities in the past, probably had no issues with paying Liam’s team for him to play boyfriend, and try to recreate a Zigi situation.

Liam’s team saw this as an opportunity for a new subject to be brought up in interviews and headlines and decided to go for it. They fucked up with the age, tried to fix it and just made the situation worse, and hoped eventually everyone would just forget about it.

At least, that’s my best guess

[adultswim2021]

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #19: “Droopy Botox” | July 18, 2004 - 11:30 PM | S02E10

Well, I didn’t hate this one. “Droopy Botox” is about Birdman grappling with the morality of his job. He represents a plastic surgeon that botched a botox procedure that ruined Droopy’s face, and life. He wins the case, is rewarded with riches, but can’t shake the awful feeling that justice had not actually been served. (Bill Mahar smug voice) But, this is America, so what else is new? (audience gives me a standing ovation)

This one is fairly focused and has some decently executed gags, but I still didn’t really connect with it. Not even a scene that inexplicably references Trading Spaces, a show I was weirdly fascinated with back in 2003-2004, really made me laugh. It’s that sped-up part where X the Exterminator or Eliminator or whatever it is (I don’t feel like looking it up) is redecorating Birdman’s office. Not exactly evergreen, but I got it, so why am I moaning?

Birdman’s being in bird-bed with continuity causes critics to cry “CAW-CAW”! Previously we saw a thread with GiGi get continued from one episode to another (remember?) but here we have the banner gag, which I know is a thing because of wikipedia or something. One scene shows a banner that’d been used multiple times with previous celebrations crossed out and a new one written below it. This one references “GOOD LUCK AVENGER”, referencing whatever episode it was where Avenger quits. There’s also a continued thread of Doggie Daddy being Sebben’s dog. What a wonderful treat, for all the fans. The Birdman fans, that is. Could it be... me???

EPHEMERA CORNER

Sealab 2021 - Season One (DVD - July 20, 2004)

In the wake of Sealab becoming one of the worst shows Adult Swim ever had, the actual good less bad episodes of Sealab 2021 became available in stores everywhere. The DVD didn't have any audio commentaries. I vaguely remember this breaking my heart, that I didn't get to hear those awful-voiced men talk about their dumb cartoon. I believe the episodes were presented in production order (”I, Robot” is #1, for example). Weirdly this set retcons “season one” as being the first 13 episodes of the show. Episodes 1-10 more clearly make up a season, and episodes 11-14 are kind of a mini-run that, as we all understood it, belonged to season two. So leaving off episode 14 seems weird too. Not sure how they came up with the first thirteen now making up season one, or why they just didn’t call it VOLUME one, but they fucking did it and it pisses me off.

There are extras on disc two. There’s the Pitch Pilot which was made in 1999 and is sort of a crude version of the episode “Ice Station Zerbra”. It’s slightly edited to remove a scene where Sparks watches pornography. There’s some Alternate Endings for I, Robot, an Uncensored Ending for Radio Free Sealab, and some deleted scenes for Little Orphan Angry. But the best thing about the DVD is the music playing over the menus. Honestly, the theme song and the original music for this show might be the best thing about it.

MAIL BAG

THAT'S GOOD NOODLE SOUP!

No you fool! Too soon!

I dont think there is anyone on this planet you would hate more than Gordon Ramsay. I just got a feeling. You ever see one of his shows?

I am not particularly a fan and I would probably not get along with the man, but I did watch one episode of HOTEL HELL featuring the historic Monticello Hotel (Longview, Washington). It is exceptionally hilarious. I watched this episode with a FILM DIRECTOR from imdb.com. OH how we LAWFED AND LAWFED

[crygimethydgoode]

Lover’s Fantasia Chapter 5 (Crystal Methyd x Gigi Goode RPDR12) Green Light

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32286397/chapters/80979646

Summary: After Crystal and Gigi’s... adventure in New York City, everything has changed between them. And also, Drag Race Season 12 has premiered! Must be exciting to watch from home. 

honey i’ll be seeing you down every road

March 2020

Between: COVID edition

Gigi had learned to bask in the silence. The streets of L.A. were bare. She was supposed to be doing viewings of every episode at bars, she was supposed to be meeting fans around the country, maybe even around the world, and enjoying her new fame. But instead, Gigi just sat inside the House of Avalon and watched as Covid cases went up and the quarantine extended.

Rosy, Gigi, Symone, and Hunter started going on drives, just to kill time. Sometimes Marko or Caleb would hop in, but most of the time it was just the four of them. Rosy and Gigi sat in the back, Gigi’s favorite seat to see the views. While Symone sat shotgun, navigating Hunter who drove. Rosy had hooked up to AUX and had already hit shuffle on her driving playlist. They drove with all the windows down, letting the wind blow on their faces. Crystal would love this. Crystal. Crystal, who had been silent since New York. They had texted here and there, but only a few short texts that didn’t amount to any conversations. Gigi couldn’t help but assume it was about the kiss.

“Okay but that could be a good or a bad thing,” Symone said to Gigi after Crystal didn’t answer her call.

“Definitely good,” Rosy squealed.

“Definitely bad,” Hunter argued.

“Both?” Rosy suggested.

“None of you are helping!” Gigi yelled, head in hands.

“Maybe she’s reconsidering everything!”

“Or she’s regretting kissing you and now things are awkward,” Hunter quipped.

“You’re both fucking dumb. She’s only been home from press week for two weeks and now she’s in quarantine. Give the girl time to figure her shit out,” Symone said, shutting Rosy and Hunter both up. Gigi remembered why she appreciated Symone so much.

And so Gigi shook the thought of Crystal out of her head and focused on having fun with her friends as they drove around. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and was shocked when she saw the caller ID. Widow? Why would Widow be calling Gigi?

“Rosy, turn it down, Widow is calling,” Gigi said. Just as Rosy turned down the music, “Green Light ” by Lorde started playing.

“I do my makeup in somebody else's car”

“Hello?” Gigi asked hesitantly.

“Hi, Geege, how have you been?” Widow sounded cheery. Way too cheery for Widow.

“Great- uhm, yeah no I’ve been great, you?” Hunter shot Gigi a puzzled look, Gigi just shrugged.

“I’ve just been enjoying my quarantine, thinking about learning how to cook...” Widow trailed off.

“And?” Gigi was now suspicious of Widow. If there was one thing Gigi knew about Widow it was she was not one for small talk. If Widow called you, she had something to say.

“And I’ve talked to Crystal a bit, and you’ll never guess who she is quarantining with,” Widow said, mischief ridden in her voice.

“Paul?” Gigi asked, sitting up straighter at the mention of Crystal.

“They’re talking about Crystal! Put it on speaker,” Rosy begged. Gigi hushed everyone before putting Widow on speaker.

“No. She’s quarantined with Lux...” Widow trailed off.

“Oh, cool?” Gigi said. Symone’s jaw dropped, Hunter clasped a hand over his mouth, Rosy screamed.

“No fucking way...” Hunter muttered. Why? It’s just Lux.

“Am I missing something here?” Gigi chuckled awkwardly.

“Jesus Gigi, read between the lines,” Widow laughed into the phone. Crystal was quarantined with Lux. Crystal was quarantined with Lux. Crystal was quarantined with Lux. Crystal was quarantined with Lux and not Paul. Why wasn’t Crystal quarantined with Paul? Why wasn’t Crystal quarantined with-

“Oh,” Gigi said. “OH. Oh my fucking god, holy shit, Widow did Crystal-”

“Yes. Yes, she did. Yes she fucking did. Do what you will with this information,” Widow cackled. Symone had turned around and grabbed Gigi’s hand, a wild grin on her face. Rosy was slapping Hunter over and over again whispering “I fucking told you'' repeatedly. Gigi sat there, stunned.

Crystal Methyd broke up with her boyfriend.

Crystal Methyd broke up with her boyfriend after they kissed in the Uber. Crystal Elizabeth Methyd kissed Gigi Goode, Gigi in the Uber, and maybe, just maybe her lips burned as much as Gigi’s did. Crystal Elizabeth Methyd kissed Gigi in the Uber and it made her lips burn so much she couldn’t bear to kiss Paul anymore. But that was wishful thinking, Gigi knew that. So why did it echo throughout her body, rattling her ribs, pumping blood to her heart, ringing through her ears? It was wishful thinking, but why didn’t it feel like it? Why did it feel all too real?

“I’M WAITING FOR IT THAT GREEN LIGHT I WANT IT”

“Gigi? You with us?” Widow said, snapping Gigi out of her trance.

“What do I do?” Gigi asked.

“Call her!” Symone and Rosy both said together.

“What if she doesn’t pick up? She probably won’t, she might not want to hear from me and I don’t want to push-”

“Jesus Christ, Gigi, fucking call Crystal,” Hunter cut Gigi off.

“Okay, I gotta go Widow! I’m gonna call Crystal,” Gigi said, laughing like an idiot.

“Go! Call her!” Widow said before hanging up.

“Now you fucking listen to me-”

“Shhh! It’s ringing!” Rosy squealed. Okay. Gigi couldn’t go out and blatantly ask her, that would be rude, she’d build up. ‘Ask her how her quarantine is going, ask her how her quarantine is going, ask her how-’ and then Crystal picked up, and Gigi’s heart dropped. She was silent. Rosy slapped her.

“Hi,” Gigi said a second too late.

“Hello?” Crystal giggled. Gigi relaxed at just the sound of Crystal’s voice. What was she going to ask again?

“You broke up with Paul,” Gigi blurted.

“Jesus Christ-” Symone sighed. Gigi heard a laugh that wasn’t Crystal’s, it was Lux.

“Yeah... yeah I did,” Crystal chuckled. Her voice sounded warm, Gigi melted.

“I- uhm was just chatting with Widow and it came up in conversation,” Gigi lied.

“Did it now?” Crystal questioned, but she didn’t sound angry or annoyed, she sounded...happy? Or Gigi hoped she did.

“Yeah and I just thought I’d... give you a call?” she said, covering her face with her hand as if Crystal could see her. Crystal and Lux both burst out laughing.

“You’re a terrible liar, Gigi Goode,” Crystal wheezed.

“Shut up...” Gigi hoped Crystal couldn’t hear her grinning over the phone. She caught Hunter’s eye, for once he wasn’t giving Gigi a pointed look, but a smile. “Well, I hope this quarantine doesn’t last too long, cause I think I need to pay you a visit soon,” Gigi said. Again, Symone’s jaw dropped, Hunter’s hand clasped over his mouth, and Rosy AND Lux screamed.

“Sounds like a plan,” Crystal whispered into the phone.

“Okay,” Gigi giggled.

“Okay.”

“Alright, I’m driving with Rosy, Hunter, and Symone so I’m gonna let you go,” Gigi said.

“Okay, bye Gigi,” Crystal whispered.

“Bye.” Gigi hung up the phone. The car was silent for a few moments until-

“Holy fucking shit-”

“Did that actually just happen?-”

“Guys I’m crying-”

“Rosy was actually right-”

“Oh my fucking god-”

Gigi just sat there, not even hearing what any of her friends were saying over one another. She just looked ahead at the streetlight shining green.

April 2020

One month. One month of quarantining, hand sanitizer, and wearing masks. Life had become so mundane, Gigi missed going to the grocery store. Wasn’t this supposed to be one of the best times of her life? Every Friday night Gigi got to sit in the House of Avalon and watch herself on TV, her fanbase growing every day. Why was she so bored, despite the fact that she was so busy?

Once Drag Race aired, Gigi’s life became a whirlwind of digital press interviews, photoshoots, Instagram Lives, and everybody in the country suddenly knowing who she was. Not to mention, they were starting to prepare for the finale, which unfortunately had to be held at home, all recorded on Grant’s iPhone. And it was really hard to enjoy it. COVID was still tearing through the world, and Gigi was stuck at home, quarantining with the House of Avalon. While she loved everyone, Gigi had lost nearly everything that was so fun about being on the show. No traveling, filming the finale, hosting watch parties, none of it.

And she never got to go to Springfield, to see Crystal. Crystal. Who was quarantined with Lux and her roommate. Because Paul was... out of the picture. Gigi didn’t know much. But Rosy and Symone had come to the conclusion that Crystal kissed Gigi, knew she was in too deep, that she couldn’t just get over her, and broke things off with Paul. And Gigi couldn’t help but agree.

Even Hunter didn’t object to what they said. Because... Crystal kissed Gigi. And then Paul was gone. It was real. Crystal wasn’t just a stupid crush Gigi had to get over. Hunter didn’t warn Gigi about getting her heart broken anymore. Gigi didn’t lie in bed and wonder if Crystal liked her. No. Now she laid in bed and thought about what it would be like when she finally got to see Crystal. If only fucking COVID would just end.

But Gigi could wait. In the meantime, she would enjoy Drag Race as much as possible. The fans were really eating up the season. Especially since everyone was so bored, locked inside. But the issue was, there wasn’t that much crazy drama this season. In the beginning, there was some drama but it was usually resolved within an episode. Gigi blamed Jackie for being so mature and bossy. And also, the girls just loved each other.

As the show progressed and they got closer, they basically just held hands and sang Kumbaya during Untucked. Gigi had fun, she loved it. But without the drama Drag Race was used to, the fans needed something else to cling to. And one of those things was Crystal and Gigi. Well- their... relationship? Flirtationship? The producers hadn’t even noticed it. But Gigi noticed. Gigi’s mom noticed. Everyone in the House of Avalon noticed. And so did everyone on Twitter. And then of course Crystal and Gigi added fuel to the fire on social media because they were bored and it was funny and… partially true. Anyways.

Crystal was so excited, immediately telling Gigi that they were the next Larry Stylinson, and needed to do this right because Crystal understood what the fans wanted. “Because Larry was amazing but it fucking hurt, Gigi. I can’t go through another Babygate,” she said one Friday night over FaceTime.

All Gigi could do was laugh. The fans had already become so taken with the ship. And once the Untucked moment of them nearly kissing was aired, it only got stronger.

There were people who genuinely believed that Crystal and Gigi were actually in a relationship. But those fans had no idea what was actually going on between them.

  If only they knew. If only they knew. If only they knew.

But then again, Gigi also had no idea what was going on between her and Crystal. Other than the fact that she was given strict orders from the Drag Race producers that she couldn’t confirm or deny their relationship. And that she missed Crystal so much. She felt worlds away. All Gigi wanted was to go through their conjoined door, and crawl into bed with Crystal. Things had been so much easier, so much simpler in the summer. But it was spring now. Drag Race was worlds away too, forever just a memory.

But Gigi would see Crystal soon. Eventually, COVID would be over. It had to be. How long could it really last? Gigi really hoped things would be better by summer, at least. They had to be.

July 2020

Things didn’t get better by summer. Thanks to useless politicians and assholes in America refusing to follow COVID guidelines, Gigi was still stuck in L.A. in July. No Pride, no 4th of July barbecues, still no Drag Race tours, performances in clubs, trips to Springfield.

Gigi also hella lost Drag Race which she was actually okay with. Of course she wanted to win. But Gigi was so happy for Jaida and filled with so much love for all of her Season 12 sisters, she was just grateful she ever got the chance to go on Drag Race.

But still, she was aching to perform live, to see Crystal and everyone else again. And then one afternoon in early July, Gigi got a Facetime call from Jaida Essence Hall that left her glowing gold with hope.

“GIGIIIIIIIIII!” Jaida, the reigning queen of season 12 yelled into the phone.

“JAIDA!” Gigi screamed back, so excited to see her season twelve sister again, even if it was just through the phone. “I miss you bitch!”

“Miss Gigi Goode I miss you too! And that’s why I’m calling you! Gimme one second, I’m trying to add Crystal to the call,” Jaida muttered, looking down at her phone. Suddenly Crystal’s face was on the screen too.

“JAIDA!!!” Crystal cheered, and everything felt right in the world again. “Hi Gigi!” Crystal added, waving into the camera. They had just Facetimed the night before, but Gigi still couldn’t get over how beautiful Crystal was. Still couldn’t get over how happy she was to see her.

“Now listen bitches,” Jaida said, getting their attention back. “I miss y’all! And if you didn’t know, I am going on tour with Drive N Drag. So I thought, at one of our stops, you two could come join me on the tour. We’ll perform together, drink together, maybe you two will make out or something. It’ll be so fun! Say yes,” Jaida said quickly, and Gigi didn’t have to think about it for even a second. And Crystal didn’t either. Because they both started screaming, yelling that yes of course they’ll come. Of course. “OKAY WAIT WHAT CITY ARE Y’ALL COMING TO THOUGH?” Jaida had to yell over them.

“Chicago!” Crystal immediately said. “It’s semi-close to me, and Gigi can see her family! And I really wanna see Chicago. It’ll be nice,” Crystal explained, and Gigi didn’t bother hiding her fond smile.

“Crystal…” Gigi muttered, and she didn’t remember the last time she smiled this big, the last time her chest had ached like this.

“Alright it looks like you two are about to have a moment, so I’m gonna get out of here. Chicago is the first weekend in August! I’ll send you the dates, and you’ll be emailed all the information soon. You should do a little dance together or something! Bye bitches I love you!” Jaida quickly hung up, and it was just Crystal and Gigi FaceTiming now.

“So… I guess I’ll see you the first week of August,” Crystal said slyly, and Gigi could feel her heart beating in her chest, could feel tears welling in her eyes.

Finally finally finally    

“I’ll see you the first week of August, Miss Crystal Elizabeth,” Gigi sang, and they were both silent for a moment, just looking at each other. Gigi hadn’t seen Crystal since February. And now, in less than two months, they would be spending nearly a week together. “How have we gone so long without seeing each other? Being away from you like this… just doesn’t make sense. We’re not supposed to be apart like this. It’s not fair,” Gigi breathed.

“I know,” Crystal said, somewhat sadly. But Gigi could still see how excited she was.

“I don’t wanna bring the mood down though. I'M GONNA SEE YOU IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS BITCH!” Gigi exclaimed, and they were both yelling again, just so excited. So excited. So ready. They talked for a little bit, already making plans for all the places Gigi wanted to take Crystal. And then it was time to say bye.

“Well Gigi… I’ll just say this,” Crystal began, a glint in her eye. “After all this time apart… after all these nights alone just… just missing you. Wishing you were with me… I’ll see you soon. We’re gonna see each other, we’re gonna be TOGETHER, and the wait will have been worth it. Because we’re worth the wait,” Crystal said softly, and Gigi really didn’t want to cry. But Crystal wasn’t making it easy.

“I’ll see you soon,” Gigi whispered, and soon they hung up. And so she started counting down the days until Chicago. And although she didn’t know it, so was Crystal. And Gigi knew, things would truly never be the same after Drive N' Drag.

[artificialqueens]

Don't Need a Flight to Get to Paradise (Crystal x Gigi) - A-tresia

Gigi methodically slices the tape open and digs inside. Her eyes widen and her face is suddenly hot and red. And even though there’s an obvious look of embarrassment seen on her face, she’s still thankful that the camera is focused on her and not on the contents of the package.

A/N: Some non-AU smut because (don’t deny it!) we want this and we absolutely deserve this. This is probably the filthiest thing I will ever attempt to put into words. Enjoy!

Gigi sets her phone on the table and presses the button to start her Live. She fixes her hair while she waits. “Hey, everyone!” she says still combing her fingers through her freshly curled hair. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone Live and I thought,” she emphasizes the last syllable with a nod, “since I have a little bit of free time that I could go do an unboxing for you guys.” She squints and reads through the comments as she waits for more people to join.

She picks up her phone and flips the camera to pan across the pile in front of her. “Okay, so, I’ve got quite a  bit to open. There’s a couple of PR boxes and some merch from my season 12 sisters,” she explains, pointing to the boxes.

Struggling to open boxes with one hand, she decides to prop her phone against the wall and sit in front of it as she goes through the rest of the boxes. She’s already opened two make up PR boxes when she sees a familiar name on one of them, deciding this is what she’s opening next.

“Look, you guys! I have a package from my girlfriend,” she says playing up the Crygi clout. No one has to know the real tea, they can guess all they want.

Gigi holds up the box to the camera to point to the Crystal Methyd sticker plastered on the top. The comments are suddenly wild. “I wonder what’s inside,” she says, shaking the box. It sounds solid but it might just be packaging. “It’s probably new merch. Thanks, Crystal!”

Gigi methodically slices the tape open and digs inside. Her eyes widen and her face is suddenly hot and red. And even though there’s an obvious look of embarrassment seen on her face, she’s still thankful that the camera is focused on her and not on the contents of the package.

Fuck.

Fuuuuuuck.

She smiles slyly at the camera and quickly grabs a new box to open, trying to cover up the internal panic she’s currently experiencing. “Sorry, you guys. It looks like it’s unreleased merch. Let’s wait for Crystal to release it before I share. Okay?”

The comments are even crazier than before. Asking what’s inside the box. And why she’s suddenly so red in the face. She knows her socials will be flooded with this.

Gigi ignores the comments and even though she only planned to be on Live to open maybe two boxes, she proceeds to open three more make up boxes and merch packages from Jan and Nicky. She’s hoping people will forget. But who is she kidding? Stans never forget.

“Thanks for keeping me company for the last, uh,” she looks over at her clock, “for the last hour and a half. I’ll catch you guys again soon!” Gigi winks and ends the Live.

Not even five minutes after she ends the Live, she gets a FaceTime call and Crystal’s fully-painted face floods her screen. “Gigi Goode, why are people tagging me in screenshots of your Live and asking me what I sent you?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you sent me,” Gigi glares.

Crystal raises a brow at her. “You don’t like it?”

“I mean, I haven’t gotten the chance to fully look at it yet.” She reaches into the box to pull out the contents — a bottle of lubricant, and… Gigi holds it up to the camera. “You got me a dildo.” Like it isn’t obvious what’s in her hand.

Crystal leans in closer to the camera. “Not just any dildo,” she smirks like she’s so proud of herself. “It’s a clone-a-willy.”

“A what?”

“A clone-a-willy,” Crystal repeats slowly.

Gigi’s eyes widen in realization. She takes a good look at the dildo in her hand. The length. The girth. The slight curve. The vein underneath. They all feel right. And real. But it’s cold and made of silicone and the person it’s supposed to be attached to is 1,600 miles away. She looks back at Crystal. “So you mean this is —”

“Mmhmm, balls included!” She definitely looks like she’s proud of herself, like she did the most groundbreaking thing on earth. “It’s even really close to my skin tone.”

Gigi laughs. “Were there other options?”

“Oh, I definitely thought of making it in an obnoxious glow-in-the-dark hot pink. I could make you one in pink if you want that, I still have the mold.” Crystal snorts as Gigi proceeds to inspect her new toy. “There’s a suction cup so you could use it on any flat surface,” she says this so very seriously you’d think she’s selling the product.

Gigi finds a button at the bottom. “Oh my god, Crystal. It’s a vibrator too?”

“Only the best for Gigi Goode.” They both snort. But clearly, Crystal is more amused. “Also, Geege, unreleased merch? Should we make a profit out of my dick? Am I a genius or am I a genius?”

“Hey, your dick is awesome. But I’m not sharing. I barely get any of it.” Crystal hasn’t stopped laughing since she suggested making multiple models to sell. Gigi thinks back to the last time they saw each other and realizes how long ago it’s been. With all the touring they’ve been doing, there just hasn’t been time to see each other in between. “Long-distance sucks,” she pouts.

“I know, baby,” Crystal sighs. Underneath her full clown makeup, Gigi knows she’s pouting too. “But we’re seeing each other in like two weeks so that’s something to look forward to, right?”

Gigi whines like a child. “But the last time I saw you was six weeks ago!”

“That’s why I cloned my dick for you. So you can fuck yourself with it and I can watch over FaceTime and you don’t have to miss me as much.”

“That does sound hot,” she considers. Gigi cocks her head to the side and bites her lower lip and looks up at Crystal from underneath her lashes. “Can we use it now?”

Crystal wiggles her brows at Gigi. “Do you want to?”

“I do,” she nods. She takes in Crystal’s face that’s taking up her screen and scrunches her nose. “But your mug really isn’t doing it for me.”

“Later, then?”

“For sure,” Gigi winks. “No, but seriously. I appreciate the sentiment. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“Should I send you a replica of my dick too?”

Crystal perks up at the suggestion, deciding then and there that she’ll send Gigi a kit — in maybe neon purple. “But it’s messy to make. It was like a science experiment!”

“Crystal. Elizabeth. Methyd,” she says, feigning shock. “Did you stick your dingaling in any of the science experiments you did in school?” Gigi can’t stop laughing at the mental image of Crystal sticking her erect penis into a model volcano.

“Shut up! It was hard to stay hard.”

—

Gigi couldn’t get anything else done for the rest of the day with the anticipation of what’s to come. Besides, she’s maintained a semi since they hung up and it didn’t really help with her already short attention span. She considered rubbing one out just for a little relief but decided to wait it out. It’s going to be better this way.

She’s already in bed, still semi-hard and freshly showered, with Crystal’s penis replica and a bottle of lube within arms reach when her phone buzzes in her hand.

Crystal: 2 mins. Get your laptop set up.

She doesn’t even bother to reply. She arranges her laptop, puts on her earphones (which, for a bit, she thinks of forgoing since her roommates are sure to hear her anyway), and positions herself on the bed checking to make sure that Crystal will be able to see everything.

In exactly two minutes, Crystal’s smiling face (void of makeup, thank god) fills her laptop screen. “Hey,” they both say at the same time. Gigi feels herself harden further at the look on Crystal’s face as she stares back at her.

“Geege, you shouldn’t have bothered with clothes. I didn’t!” Crystal moves back against her pillows as she pushes her laptop a little bit further from her to give Gigi the full view of her already hard penis. “Come on, I couldn’t be the only one naked here!”

“Sorry.” Gigi shakes herself out of her stupor at seeing Crystal naked, thumbing around the tip of her dick and quickly pulls her tank top over her head. She grips herself through the fabric of her underwear with a groan.

“Gigi,” Crystal breathes.

She slowly pulls her underwear down her legs, watching Crystals breath hitch. It makes her feel flushed and hot all over. “Happy?”

“Very.” She looks straight into Gigi’s eyes and wraps her hand around her cock, slowly stroking herself for Gigi to watch. “You look so good.” There isn’t a need for long introductions, they both know they’re on this call for one thing.

Gigi’s mouth feels dry. So instead of answering, she starts stroking, matching her pace with Crystal. They stroke in tandem for a while, eyes not leaving each other,  before Crystal tells Gigi to get the lube. She watches Gigi squeeze a generous amount onto her fingers. “Ready?”

“Can’t wait,” she says as she shifts to spread her legs wider so Crystal has a better view. “Can’t wait to stretch myself out so I can take your cock.” Gigi fucking hates dirty talk but she just misses Crystal so much she doesn’t even have the energy to cringe at herself; instead, she reaches down to rub her fingers over her hole with warmed up lube.

Crystal stops touching herself. Instead she focuses on Gigi’s movements. She watches Gigi slowly slip a finger in, whimpering quietly at the sensation of a single digit sliding in and out of her.

“Go on,” Crystal urges.

Gigi adds another finger and feels herself stretch and clench around her fingers. “Feels so good,” she breathes out. It’s been three days since she’s masturbated and fucked herself and six weeks since she’s had Crystal’s actual dick. She pulls one knee up for more space and moves her fingers in and out, gradually increasing her pace, going deeper each time. Her other hand wraps around her cock and strokes in time with her fingers.

A third finger slips alongside the first two and Gigi feels fuller. “Crystal,” she moans.

Crystal’s cock jumps at the sound. She’s so painfully hard she firmly wraps her hand around the base of her cock, delaying getting even more worked up until Gigi has her Crystal dildo up in her ass. “You’re doing so well, Geege,” she encourages. “Get yourself nice and stretched.”

Gigi can’t wait to get Crystal’s fake cock inside her. She shudders in anticipation. “C-can — Crys, I need —“ She sounds wrecked. Gigi is easy to work up; so easy to get all wet and open and desperate.

“Fuck, Gigi. You have no idea what you fucking look like.” She watches Gigi’s hips jerk. “Are you ready for my cock, baby?” Gigi couldn’t even form a sentence. Her jaw is slack and she just nods in agreement. “Look at yourself, so slick and open, I could just slide right in.”

“I want you to.”

“Do your fingers feel good?”

“I-I, y-yes, yeah. I like yours better, though.”

Gigi removes her hand from her throbbing cock and pulls her fingers out. She reaches out for her dildo, licks up one side of it and winks at Crystal.

“Torture,” Crystal groans.

“I would much prefer if this were actually you.”

Gigi pulls her laptop closer and rolls over on her stomach, finding a little relief by rubbing herself against her sheets. She tilts her screen down and positions her new toy and herself so Crystal has full view of her mouth.

“You’re gonna want to start touching yourself,” she says before licking the tip of the dildo slowly. Crystal’s mouth hangs open, practically drooling at the sight, and just nods as she tries her best to mimic the movement of Gigi’s mouth and hands with her own hands.

Gigi maintains eye contact with Crystal while she wraps her lips around the toy and starts giving it a very enthusiastic blow job, easing her mouth down and coating it with saliva. She strokes her hand up and down the way she knows Crystal likes as she moves her lips up and down, stopping every so often to lick the shaft and head. At the back of her head, she knows how ridiculous she might look giving a cold silicone toy a blowjob but it feels so much like Crystal she doesn’t even give it another thought.

Crystal is stroking herself with her right hand in a regular fluid motion, matching Gigi’s pace. The fingers on her left hand pinches at her nipple piercing.

“So hot,” Gigi comments.

“Feels good,” Crystal whispers as she watches Gigi take all of it into her mouth, closing her eyes as she relaxes her throat and swallows around it. It’s obscene but Crystal can’t look away. “Fuck, need to be inside you.”

Gigi draws off the dildo with a smirk, pressing a kiss to the tip of the toy. She quickly gets up from the bed, taking the laptop, the bottle of lube, and the very wet toy with her.

“Where are you going?” Crystal asks.

She sets her laptop down. “This will be easier on the floor,” she explains.

Gigi reaches for the dildo and squirts extra lube onto the already saliva-slick surface. She gets on her knees and sticks the suction of the dildo directly on the floor underneath her.

“Wanna ride you,” she says positioning herself. Crystal not able to take her eyes away from Gigi’s hard dick pointing straight at her.

“Yeah, okay.” Crystal leans forward to get a better look at Gigi rising up a little bit on her knees, grabbing the shaft,  and slowly lowering herself down on the silicone cock. “This is so hot, fuck.”

She doesn’t realize that she has her eyes closed until she feels the base of the toy pressed up against her and she slightly stumbles forward at the fullness. Gigi moans at the realization that she’s got it all in; so lewd that Crystal thinks Gigi just came right then.

“You okay, babe?”

“Fucking awesome,” Gigi breathes out. “Feels exactly like you. Not that the dildo is as good as the original, but still.“

Crystal laughs and this sets Gigi’s laughter off too. How very fitting for them to be laughing while doing this.

She waits for Gigi to calm down and adjust to the intrusion and only starts to touch herself again when Gigi starts moving.

Gigi begins to rock herself up and down on the shaft, encouraging Crystal to touch herself. She thinks she could come just like this — not touching herself, just fucking herself on the perfect replica of Crystal’s cock. She lets her own dick bounce against her body as she rides the toy in little short motions.

Gigi moans and whimpers as she watches Crystal languidly work a generously lubed hand over herself.

“I feel like I’m watching a porno,” Crystal comments as her hand starts to work faster on her own cock. Gigi tries to laugh but it quickly turns into an obscene moan. “Touch yourself, Gee,” Crystal encourages.

"Oh, fuck! Baby, I love your dick so much.” Gigi grips her own dick and pumps along with Crystal. She sets a steady pace bouncing on the dildo making her thighs burn. But that’s the least of her concerns. The burn just intensifies everything.

"Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” she answers, biting her lower lip.

Crystal strokes her cock slowly, trying to make the sensation last, but the sight and sounds of Gigi pleasuring herself was just too much.

“G-Gigi,” Crystal stutters, struggling to find words. “I c-can’t —“

“Go on, baby. I want to see you come.” Crystal gasps out a breath and instinctively closes her eyes. “Eyes on me, babe,” Gigi croons, syncing her movement on the toy to Crystal’s hands.

She watches Crystal work herself over the edge, listening to her shaky breaths and pitchy moans. She didn’t know she could feel pleasure just by listening to Crystal moan like this, listening to her cry, and try to hold in her whines.

“Oohhh, fu-fuuuuck me,” Crystal moans. Suddenly her hand is moving so fast, Gigi doesn’t know where to focus her eyes — her face contorting with pleasure, her hand pinching her pierced nipple, her hips jerking upward, or the cum shooting over her spasming abdomen.

“Fuck, that was hot,” Crystal says as she pushes back hair that’s stuck to the sweat on her forehead, still panting. She looks back at Gigi who’s waiting for her to recover, still moving her hands over her still hard and throbbing dick with long strokes. “Your turn.”

Gigi leans back against her calves and bottoms out on the dildo. She wraps her hand firmly around her cock and thrusts up into her fist. “Fuck, it’s really — ah — i-it’s really too much. I’m really so — I can’t —” She’s no longer stroking but thrusting uncontrollably up into her hand. “S-so close,” she moans. “Gonna come. Fuck, I’m gonna —” Gigi cries out, eyes rolling back, as thick ropes of cum splatter all the way up her torso, some reaching all the way up to her chin.

Her orgasm is so intense, there’s a deep sense of calm that spreads throughout her body. She slowly lifts herself from the dildo and collapses on the floor, panting and jerking and not even bothering to clean up. She’ll deal with the sticky mess later.

She opens her eyes to see Crystal staring back at her in a daze. Gigi’s never felt the distance between them as sharply as she does now. All she wants is to hold Crystal and be held.

“Wow,” Crystal whispers. Gigi just nods, still too overwhelmed to speak.

For a moment they just stay there, a moment frozen in time, watching each other and drinking it all in.

“Crystal, I —“

“I know. I feel bad that I’m not there to do anything about it.”

“Two weeks.” Crystal nods in agreement. “I’m sticky,” Gigi points out.

“We should probably both clean up.”

“I’ll call you again in 15, yes?”

“Take your time.” Gigi nods.

They wave and blow kisses at each other before Crystal ends the call with a love you lingering in the air. Gigi sighs, equally satiated and sad. Two weeks.

[writethehousedown]

And the Livin’s Easy Chapter One (Multi) - Zyan

a/n: me? doing yet another multi-chapter for the challenge? how original. this idea came to me while i was watching hawaii five-0 and i just ran with it. i have no actual knowledge of how the surfing world works, i’m a simple kick boxing fighter, so please bear with me and the in-accuracies you’ll find. the rest of the characters mentioned in the summary will appear in the next chapter :D my sideblog is @chachkisalpaca - oh, and also, frey is an absolute angel for beta-ing this. hope you enjoy!

Summary: The surfing season in Honolulu is at its peak, with every surfer, old and new, having their eyes on the big prize of the Hawaii Surf Association annual competition. As the day of the competition comes closer, Crystal tries to not get distracted with a certain Californian girl, Vanessa swears she’s over Brooke, Yvie tries to seduce the hotel’s lifeguard and Jaida is just witnessing everything go down as she sips on her piña colada.

It’s summertime and the beach is packed.

Crystal doesn’t expect any less, honestly; the summer season is at its peak, plus Honolulu is always a famous tourist spot. No wonder there’s barely a spot to stand in O’Ahu.

The waves are good today and Crystal engages in a playful banter when she encounters some of her fellow surfers while training. There’s a surfing competition next week, a very important one at that, and every surfer and their grandma wants that prize. To think of what she could do with the money — Crystal might just layback for the rest of the season and enjoy some very well deserved vacations before going back to Missouri for yet another college year.

She finds it sad that the waves last only during the summer, because she’s capable of surfing them even when the water temperature is below 0 and would catch a cold for the mere act of standing too close to the water (“Colds start with the feet,” her mother has been telling her since she was a child, and it just stuck.)

But she doesn’t have to worry for the winter that’s still months away; right now she just lets the Sun burn her skin as the water soaks her entire body.

She feels lightheaded, like she’s capable of doing anything while she’s on her surfing board.

“You getting’ better, Glass,” Vanjie shouts, while riding the same wave as her.

Crystal laughs loudly, the nickname ‘Glass’ still sounding so wild to her, she sometimes wonders why and how did Vanjie ever come up with that one.

“What do ya wanna bet that I’ll beat your ass next week,” Crystal yells back, and Vanjie cocks a brow, focused on keeping her balance.

“Fuck off, I bet you won’t even last the rest of training without falling.”

“If I make it through training without falling you’re buying me a drink at Sal’s.”

Vanjie meets her gaze for a brief second and laughs shortly.

“Es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, but you got a deal, bitch.” She winks at her and Crystal takes it upon herself to win that bet.

“Veamos si puedes conmigo, perra.”

*

Gigi is, decidedly, not a beach person.

She gets it; the water looks pretty under the Sun, the palms make a good background for an Instagram picture, and her bathing suit fits her like a glove, drawing attention from both men and women, but despite all this — she just can’t take how crowded it is, the children running around and yelling like banshees, how cold the water is, the dirty people that leave their trash behind, and a long etcetera.

Brita’s been so kind to invite them to their family’s house in Honolulu for a few weeks, Gigi is very much aware of it, which is why she tries not to be a gigantic bitch while they’re on the beach; she doesn’t want Brita to kick her out, basically.

Besides, Honolulu is very pretty. One of the most beautiful cities she’s ever visited, actually. She doesn’t mind the rest of it; it’s this specific part of the city that she dreads. She’s also very aware of the irony of agreeing to go to a place that’s famous for its beaches while hating beaches, thank you very much.

She applies a generous amount of sunscreen to every inch of her body, still sitting under the umbrella and ignoring her friends’ pleas for her to join them in the water. Gigi merely says that she’ll meet them in a moment, and though they’re not very convinced by it, they still run towards the sparkly blue water.

Gigi clearly lied; as soon as they’re out of sight, she pulls out her phone and thinks for a moment about taking photos for her Instagram — if she’s going to spend most of this trip at the beach, she might as well take advantage of it and take some cute pictures for her feed. She didn’t pack so many bathing suits for nothing.

She’s scrolling through her DM requests —deleting the men, replying to the women— when there’s a sudden uproar from the people sitting around her. They’re cheering for something or someone. Gigi looks around, confused, until she lays eyes on the sea in front of her and the waves crashing against the shore; there are surfers in the waves, naturally, but these seem like the skilled type.

Gigi decides to film it for her Instagram Stories, because why not, they are talented, and Gigi can barely float around in her parents’ pool in a donut floatie without rolling over and drowning.

One of them falls, and the crowd gasps, though Gigi isn’t all that interested in it. Her friends wave at her from the sea and Gigi scrambles to find an excuse not to join them.

*

Crystal can’t stop laughing, even when they arrive at the shore and all Vanjie does is shout at her, saying that she bewitched her or something, because there’s no way she fell instead of her.

“Get over it, Vanj. You owe me now.”

She sticks her board into the sand, taking her hair tie off and rearranging her hair in a ponytail. Her hair is soaked, clearly, and Crystal’s hands are already tired at the thought of having to shampoo the sea water off it.

Crystal doesn’t mind though, it’s worth it.

Vanjie shots Crystal a deadly glare and rearranges her own hair, groaning slightly as she does so.

“I’m only paying you because a bitch keeps her promises,” she says. “Also, on the note of having drinks, you wanna grab a smoothie before going on with training? But you’re paying for your own drink, ho.”

Crystal laughs wholeheartedly with a nod. She goes to look between the pockets of her bag for money and asks one of her friends to watch her board for her; it’ll just be a moment.

They’re talking about their plans once the competition is done and what would they do if they get the prize money. Vanessa says she’ll pack up her stuff and go back to Puerto Rico for the rest of the summer even if she loses, and will chase waves on her hometown beach. Maybe teach a few of the little ones in her family to surf, if she has the time and patience for it.

“Y’know, the little shits are getting bigger and bigger, and they barely remember their aunt Vanessa! My girl Julia, bless that one, still remembers me — but, bitch, she did her first communion already! Damn, last time I checked she was still five,” Vanjie rambles, and Crystal definitely feels her on a spiritual level.

This is the part she likes about being friends with Vanjie, the fact they both have similar experiences with their Latin families and understand each other in a way most people wouldn’t. Her favourite part of summer is getting to spend it with her.

Crystal says something about her little nephew Mateo —who Vanessa adores, despite having not met him yet, just because his name matches with her surname— and how he’s gotten so big in the blink of an eye, already reaching Crystal’s hip, when she bumps into something.

Or rather, someone.

There’s a gasp and Crystal is wet yet again, though this time it’s sticky and it smells fruity.

“Well, there goes ten dollars,” a voice snarls, and Crystal finally pulls up her gaze to meet the asshole that just spilled their drink all over her.

She finds a woman with long auburn hair, skin pale as snow, think as a rail, with pink plump lips and a pair of icy blue eyes staring right back at her. Crystal thinks it’s a shame that she’s an asshole, because she is really pretty.

“Watch where you walk, pendeja,” Crystal bites back and the woman rolls her eyes, avoiding her as she goes on with her way. Vanjie and Crystal briefly look at her before proceeding with what they were doing. “At least I can wash the stickiness off once we hit the waves again,” she consoles herself, resigned to smell like fruit until she gives her bathing suit a proper wash.

*

“I hate the beach,” Gigi declares, settling at Jackie’s side with a huff and her arms folded. Jackie quirks an amused eyebrow, barely stifling a laugh, and Nicky casts a side glance at her.

“Why’s that?” Nicky asks, her gaze still glued to her phone.

“Some idiot cost me ten dollars, can you believe? I didn’t even have a sip of that smoothie!” Gigi complains with a whine that’s rather childish. Jackie just laughs, patting her friend’s back.

“If you join us now, I’ll buy you another smoothie later.”

“Fuck off with that motherly tone, Jacqueline,” Gigi says with a laugh, Jackie gasps offended and swats her arm playfully.

“That’s not the way to talk to your friends, baby Geeg!” Jackie scolds her, only making Gigi laugh louder.

Jackie is the eldest of them all (though, to be fair, she’s only a couple months older than Brita) and she’s naturally the mom friend. She’s pulled them out of the bar, called cabs, helped them through heartbreaks, more than Gigi can count (though Gigi isn’t good at counting). It’s only fair she gets to do these jokes.

Gigi pouts and puts on her puppy eyes, locking her hands. “Do you promise to buy me a smoothie, though?” She asks, in a tone so high-pitched she annoys herself.

But never Jackie, she’s got the patience none of them have, so she just nods with an over the top sigh and forcefully drags her to the water.

Gigi hates what the salty water does to her hair, though to be fair — Jackie did buy her a smoothie once they came back to their spot.

*

Sal’s Shack has grown to be Crystal’s favourite place on the island.

She discovered it when she was a little girl and came to Honolulu for the first time, after her parents saved up for a whole year and her father pushed as much as he could for a promotion at his job. It isn’t just a restaurant or a bar; Sal doesn’t like labels, so he never put one on his establishment.

It’s whatever you want it to be, though it does become a bar after midnight, that title going away once the Sun is up.

When Crystal met Vanjie, almost five summers ago, she took her to Sal’s Shack, and Vanjie was so in love with the place they kept on coming back, with or without the other.

Sal immediately smiles upon seeing them enter, even if the place is already getting crowded, Sal tells them he’d be able to hear Vanjie’s voice from a mile away.

“What can I get you tonight, girls?” He asks, with that warm, kind smile that reminds Crystal of her childhood years.

“I’m in the mood for your spicy meatballs sandwich,” Vanjie says dreamily, prompting Sal to laugh wholeheartedly. Crystal follows her suit by saying she wants a burger, and tells Sal not to be shy with the sauce.

They get settled while they wait, talking about how their college careers are going and how much they want the summer to be endless.

There’s just something about this city that makes it magical, Crystal likes to think. She’s had a few summer flings there, never seeing them again once she packed up her things and came back to Missouri, but each one of them had something special that made Crystal feel as if it wasn’t just a summer fling.

She wonders if she’ll find someone new this time around too, though it isn’t high up in her priority list.

*

Brita takes them to her uncle’s restaurant-bar-whatever, saying they have to visit it, not only because they serve pretty good cocktails, but also because there are always some hotties hanging around.

Though the idea of a summer hook up is attractive to Gigi, this isn’t Los Angeles; she doesn’t have any cab numbers, she still can’t properly manage herself around, and would consequently get lost trying to come back to the house. She tells herself that she’ll wait a few days until she’s a little more familiar with the place, just in case.

They arrive to the bar —Gigi’s decided to call it a bar for her own sanity—, and much like at the beach, the place is full, and she can’t see a free table.

“Don’t worry, girls,” Brita says, “I called my uncle and told him to save us a table, follow me.” So follow they do. They absentmindedly link hands and elbow their way through the place. The music is blasting through the speakers, there’s a couple of people dancing, and a lot of others just standing with their drinks and nudging on them.

Gigi has to admit Brita was right; there are some attractive people around, and it takes all of Gigi’s willpower not to stare. Perhaps sticking to the rules she’s just imposed on herself won’t be that easy.

They make it to the end of the bar and Brita smiles widely upon seeing her uncle, breaking the chain of hands and launching herself into his arms. The girls stand there awkwardly until they finish their conversation.

“He looks like Brita, but as a man,” Jan comments in a whisper, making Gigi and Nicky laugh. Jackie shushes them, though she agrees under her breath.

Brita introduces them one by one with a wide smile, and Gigi has to admit the resemblance between them is scary. Brita’s uncle gives them a warm welcome and tells them to call him Sal before guiding them to their table. It’s in a corner of the place and they can see everyone and everything, plus, they’re a few feet away from the bar. It’s a nice spot overall.

They get settled and Sal leaves them a few menus with the drinks options, including non-alcoholic drinks, and leaves to go back to work, telling them to look for him if they need anything.

Gigi briefly looks at the menu before setting it aside and looking around the bar, trying to find a face that stands out from the rest — instead, she hears a voice that breaks through the noise and makes a few heads turn around.

They voice comes from a few tables away, right in front of them. There’s a woman with dark, curly hair waving her arms around and talking with her friend, while the other woman sitting in front of her and facing Gigi is dying with laughter.

Gigi squints, finding her face oddly familiar, until it clicks.

*

Crystal throws her head back as she laughs, bracing her stomach as Vanjie grows louder and louder during her speech.

“And the fucking bitch had the AUDACITY to call me a fucking liar! Can you believe?” Vanjie slams her fist on the table and Crystal is hollering with laughter. She knows she shouldn’t have brought up the fact that her ex is also coming to the competition, but right now Vanjie is too worked up to back down.

For the longest time, Crystal thought Canada didn’t have any surfers — with such a cold weather, how could someone even want to enter the water? But it turns out that Vanjie’s ex, Brooke, is Canadian and a surfer, and she’s going to be competing alongside them. She found out, because she follows Yvie Bridges’ socials, and she posted a picture with Brooke, captioning it with “Excited to be reunited with my sister in Honolulu!” Except with a lot more exclamation marks.

Vanjie quickly tries to backpedal her entire rant by saying she’s not bothered at all by Brooke’s presence, because she’s over her and she’s seeing this girl, Kameron, who she met in a competition in Puerto Rico and is a sports photographer.

Crystal cocks a brow and before Vanjie can further prove to Crystal that she’s not over Brooke at all, she asks her if she wants another round of destornilladores. Vanjie nods effusively, tossing bills to her.

She heads to the bar and perches herself on it, waving at the barman. She places her order and when there’s a seat available, she takes it without hesitation.

Crystal is watching the barman as he mixes her drink, when someone slides into the empty seat next to her. She casts a quick glance over them and has to do a double take when the woman’s face is familiar.

She blinks repeatedly; this is the woman that threw her smoothie at her earlier that day.

It seems that Smoothie Girl recognizes her too, because she stares at her for a moment too long, and somehow Crystal finds the courage to speak up.

“You’re the asshole that threw their smoothie in my bathing suit,” Crystal finally speaks up.

“And you’re the asshole that threw herself into my smoothie,” she shots back, cocking one of her perfectly painted eyebrows, and Crystal has to admit that was a good one.

The barman places her orders in front of her; Crystal quickly pays him and Smoothie Girl takes advantage of his presence to place her own order. Crystal searches for Vanjie’s eyes among the crowd, and she finds her with her stare glued on her. She smiles when she sees their drinks, but frowns when Crystal points at the woman sitting beside her.

It’s her, she mouths, but Vanjie tilts her head, confused. Smoothie Girl, she mouths this time, and Vanjie looks surprised. She starts to mouth things Crystal can’t catch, but she guesses it’s a combination of get your ass over here, and that bitch.

“I’ve been thinking all day about what you called me,” she says, attracting Crystal’s attention again. She frowns, confused.

“What? Pendeja?” She asks, and Smoothie Girl nods. “Oh, that’s Spanish for asshole.”

Smoothie Girls snorts, cocking a brow. “What’s the Spanish word for ‘you owe me ten bucks’?”

“That would be ‘in your dreams,’” Crystal retorts, the brunette rolls her eyes.

She knows Vanjie is watching them closely, her stare burning a hole in Crystal’s neck, in case hands need to be thrown. But she has a feeling she won’t be needing Vanjie’s hands — not that she can say the same about this woman.

The barman leaves a drink in front of Smoothie Girl and she pays with a coquettish smile, Crystal thinks her drink smells way too fruity.

“That smoothie left my bathing suit smelling like fruit even when I washed it three times,” Crystal comments, trying to sound nonchalant. The woman cocks a brow as she sips on her drink. “What flavor was it, anyway?”

She seems surprised by the question, though she’s quick to answer.

“Uh, mango and peach, I think,” she replies and Crystal scrunches up her nose.

“Ugh, that sounds hideous.”

“It’s not! Had you licked your bathing suit you would know it’s very tasty.” She laughs at her own joke, and Crystal finds herself laughing too.

It’s weird how just moments ago they were calling each other assholes and now they’re laughing like nothing happened.

Crystal scoots herself closer in the chair, their knees practically brushing as she tries to catch her gaze.

“You got a name, Smoothie Girl?” She inquires in a casual tone. Smoothie Girl finally meets her gaze, and her blue eyes aren’t as icy as the first time they ran into each other.

“Genevieve, but everyone calls me Gigi.” She offers her hand to shake and Crystal gladly takes it. “And you?”

“I’m Crystal. Some people call me Crys, others Cryssie — and that dumbass over there,” she discreetly points at Vanjie, who’s typing away in her phone, trying to act as if she hasn’t been staring at them for a long minute now, “calls me Glass. Don’t ask me why, she just does.” Crystal shrugs, and Gigi laughs.

She feels some sort of pride blooming in her chest at making Gigi laugh.

“So, Crystal,” Gigi begins. “Do I have to assume you’re a surfer? I mean, what you were wearing when you ran into my smoothie looks like something a surfer would wear.”

Crystal nods enthusiastically, proceeding to tell her that she’s been surfing on and off since she was just thirteen and how she comes to Honolulu every year, rarely shifting her destination for the summer.

In return, Gigi confides her that she’s from California and it’s her first time in Honolulu, saying that her friend —Sal’s niece, apparently— invited them and she just couldn’t say no, even when she isn’t that much of a beach enthusiast. She hates them, in fact.

Upon hearing this, Crystal lets an over the top gasp that makes Gigi go into a fit of giggles, apparently already expecting that reaction.

“What the fuck? Dude, you can’t be serious,” she exclaims, and Gigi continues giggling.

“I’m deadly serious,” she assures her, twirling a strand of hair around her index finger.

“You don’t even like the food or ice cream?”

“I do, I hate the dirty people that leave their trash behind, though.”

“What about the kids? They’re always so cute — running around with their water guns and getting excited over everything. Some remind me of my own little cousins.”

Gigi visibly scrunches up her nose, doing a disgusted face.

“I hate kids, actually.”

Crystal folds her arms in a huff, intently staring at Gigi.

“No, there’s no way you’re that much of a… Beach Grinch,” she blurts out, the embarrassment flooding over her as soon as the words come out from her mouth. Gigi cocks a brow.

“Beach Grinch? Now that’s original,” Gigi says, leaning in closer to Crystal, a wicked smile painted in her lips. “Y’know, though I find the beach extremely boring, I can’t say the same for the people that like it.”

Crystal grins; she’s played this game far too many times, but something in Gigi makes her think this time it won’t be as easy as with the other ones.

Just when she’s lining up a witty reply, Gigi suddenly scoots back, a bashful smile where there used to be a wicked one.

“Sadly, I don’t have the time to think too much about it, ‘cause I’m here to have a good time with my friends. Later!”

She hops off from her chair, bringing her drink with her, and makes her way back to her friends, swaying her hips as she walks and making her skirt fly with the movement.

Crystal takes a moment to realize what Gigi just did, and when she finally pulls herself back together to walk over to Vanjie with their drinks, she tries to convince herself that maybe Gigi is another one of those straight girls wanting to “experiment.” It’s what she says to herself to make her cheeks cool down several degrees.

Vanjie says they can cash the bitch outside if she wants to fight, but Crystal just dismisses her with a wave of her hand.

After they finish their drinks, they hang around at Sal’s for a little longer, dancing when there is a good song playing and talking with strangers, and just before they leave, Crystal looks through the crowd for Gigi’s eyes, and she finds her staring right back. What she sees in her eyes makes her stomach twist.

‘If she’s playing hard to get, then it’s on,’ she thinks, and the next thing she thinks is that Gigi can read her mind, because the wicked smile is back into her face before Crystal withdraws her gaze.

[thtdamfangirl4]

thanks @pretend-im-normal for this set of questions!

i shall start with a christmas ask game (yes i know it’s january 28th) created by none other than archie’s husband

1. Their favorite Christmas tradition

I think for Archie it has to be baking christmas cookies. He loves doing it even if it’s just him, but especially doing it with the people he loves. He takes the decorating process way too seriously (this may or may not be inspired by my real life) and all the bois pitch in and reginald’s are always disturbing but annoyingly delicious and dorian’s are always a little goth and octavius’s are fabulous and archie keeps telling him that louboutins are not a christmas item but octavius insists that since he asked for them for christmas they should count, and archie loves him so he lets it slide. Eustace very carefully decorates and does his best and every time you eat one you can tell it’s full of love. Jasper wants everything to be as colorful as possible and he covers them in sprinkles. And nathaniel, lovely nathaniel, can’t decorate for shit but he just has fun with it and laughs the whole time and that makes archie’s chest feel tight for reasons he can’t explain until later. And then Archie and Nate finally start dating and during their first Christmas, aside from the bois cookie night, they do one of their own and Archie shows Nate how to decorate the way he does and Nate can’t quite get there but he’s following each direction with fervor and they look pretty good and he’s so proud of himself and Archie sneaks mistletoe into the kitchen and kisses him and now they do it every year, and every year Nate gets a little better. And eventually they have kids and they join the tradition (even the annual cookie decorating night with the bois), and Cam is fantastic at cookie decorating and Ben eats the dough and Archie swats him teasingly with a wooden spoon every time and Evie mixes icing colors cause she’s great at art and Nate washes dishes and makes a valiant effort and they dance around the kitchen and sing christmas music playing from Archie’s phone and he smiles the whole time and every year, he pulls out the mistletoe and kisses his husband and the kids go from thinking it’s cute to thinking it’s gross and embarrassing and all the way back to thinking it’s adorable when they’re old enough and one year Evie snaps a picture of it and it’s on the Christmas card the next year. Christmas is his favorite time of the year, and cookie days just feel like this magic untouchable place where he’s with his family and doing what he loves and to him, it is Christmas personified.

2. Their favorite Christmas song

It’s very hard to narrow down, so I’ll give a top three: All I Want for Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey, Last Christmas by Wham!, and Mary Did You Know by Pentatonix.

3. Their least favorite Christmas song

This will not come as a shock, because well... I’m Archie. It’s Michael Buble’s version of Santa Baby. He loves most of Michael’s Christmas music, but in his words, Michael Buble “needs to man up and be willing to fuck Santa or don’t bother singing the song.” He just made it weird by having it be Santa Buddy and Santa Pally. And Archie loves this song. He tweets Michael Buble about it every Christmas, begging him to erase it from existence.

4. Their general feelings about Christmas

Archie goes feral for Christmas. He loves everything about it. Fun, family, love, festivity, good music, good food, an excuse to bake 24/7, baby Jesus, buying presents, getting presents. Archie prides himself on being the Christmas Bitch. He’s especially fantastic at gift-giving.

5. Their favorite Christmas treat

Octavius’s homemade pizelles dipped in spiked hot chocolate.

6. The best gift they ever received

When Evie is like 20, she gives him a scrapbook for Christmas. It’s filled with pictures of Archie, Nathaniel, the kids, and the other bois over the years. Every page has Taylor Swift lyrics that relate to the images and stories, as well as messages she’s written and cute captions. In addition to pictures, there’s little mementos like ticket stubs or receipts or notes she’s collected from her dad and her aunts and uncles and scattered throughout the book are cutout lines from a printed out version of the poem he wrote for his and Nathaniel’s anniversary. Archie cries for like 3 hours.

7. The worst gift they ever received

One year, Jessica gets him in the PTA secret santa, and she gets him a few workout shirts and an expensive bottle of red wine. He’s so offended. To an outsider, this may seem like a nice gift, but it’s very clear that she got him the shirt because she disapproves of his crop tops. And she knows full well that he doesn’t really like red wine. He’s a white wine bitch. She knows. It’s been discussed.

8. The best gift they ever gave

He likes to joke that the best gift he’s ever given is the supplementary bundle of “free sex” coupons he gave to Nathaniel their first Christmas together (he also got him a fluffy bathrobe, a playlist of songs that remind him of nate, an anthology of queer writing and letters from historical figures, and a trip to color me mine, don’t worry). But the real best gift he ever gave was years later, when they’ve been married for 5 years. He surprises Nathaniel with a trip to New York, where he’s also gotten them tickets to a revival of Hamilton, they go on a tour of diner breakfasts, and then have a shopping and spa day. And then he has them get dressed up but Nathaniel doesn’t know why and after they go to a fancy dinner, he takes Nathaniel to the Woolworth building on Broadway (where the ball scene from Enchanted takes place), and the whole place has been rented out there’s the actual singer from the movie and they slow dance in the romantic lighting to So Close (their wedding song) and it’s endlessly romantic and both of them are crying a lot little.

9. The worst gift they ever gave

No. Archie has never given a bad gift in his life.

10. How they decorate their house

dude. DECK THE FUCKING HALLS. There are two trees. One is picture perfect and looks straight out of a hallmark movie, and the other one is covered in popcorn strings and tacky ornaments from movies and shows and homemade ones by the kids and Ben always puts too much tinsel on it and Cam eats the candy canes so it’s a little wonky and that one is not-so-secretly Archie’s favorite. Beautiful wreaths on the doors and windows outside. Beautiful real-looking garland and berries and red ribbon and little bells decorate the banisters and staircases. There are lights everywhere. Christmas paintings. Outside is decked the fuck out in lights of all colors, he loves the icicles, no blow ups, but he does get a moving reindeer made of lights, and it’s a whole winter wonderland. Lots of seasonal scented candles. White lights on the mantle. Always a fire burning in the fireplace. A beautiful handmade and well-lit nativity scene. Cinnamon scented pinecones everywhere. Santa, reindeer, and snowman figures are in a lot of places. He puts mistletoe above every doorway, molding, entryway, high cabinet, or anywhere he can hang it because the man loves love and he wants as many excuses as he can get to kiss his husband.

11. Their favorite Christmas memory

On Evie’s first Christmas, she gets all fussy and cries a lot while they’re at Octavius and Dorian’s for Christmas Eve and so they go home early and they put her to bed but it’s only like 8pm. So they have their own end to the night and it’s just them in their pajamas, watching The Holiday and Love Actually while drinking tea and they just cuddle up under a blanket. Archie gives Nate forehead kisses and they fall asleep curled up on the couch halfway through The Year Without a Santa Claus. And he wakes up and Nate isn’t there anymore and he finds him holding Evie in her rocking chair humming Christmas songs to her and he just watches from the doorway until Nate finally looks up and smiles at him. And then they get everything ready cause everyone they know is coming to their house for Christmas and Evie wears an adorable Christmas onesie and they all open presents but. Those like 12 hours. Cuddling with Nathaniel and watching christmas romcoms and waking up to see his husband rocking their beautiful baby daughter to christmas songs. Yeah. That one’s his favorite.

12. Their least favorite Christmas memory

When he was like 12 (back in the regency days) he got sick on Christmas and couldn’t go to any of the events or parties and he hated it. But other than that,,, there’s a reason Christmas is his favorite time of year. It’s magic for him.

13. if/Where they travel for the holidays

Nah. He always stays home. He’s the Christmas Hostess With The Mostest. Always home for Christmas. He, Nathaniel, and the kids do go to Disney World for the week before/including New Year’s one year though.

14. Who they spend the holidays with

Obviously: Nathaniel, Octavius, Dorian, Reginald, Jasper, Eustace, Tyler, (and eventually) Evie, Ben, and Cam, and Eustace and Tyler’s kids. Gigi, Chloe, Jackie, and Liza, switch off every year whether they’re with family or the bois. Lynn and Suzanne always come to Christmas Eve and stop by on Christmas day before going to see their families. Every once in a while, Reginald brings a Doug who had nowhere else to go.

15. All of their Christmas traditions (not just their favorite XD)

jesus. well some have been listed. Cookies, decorating, hanging mistletoe fucking everywhere. he starts listening to Christmas music on November 1st. Snowball fight with the whole crew. Snowman contest with the whole crew. Getting drunk and watching Hallmark/Netflix Christmas movies. Making cinnamon rolls for christmas morning. wearing an entire christmas wardrobe in the month of december. Christmas treats at the bakery. Looking hot at Nathaniel’s work Christmas party. Wrapping presents for weeks after the kids go to bed. Making the world’s best hot cocoa. Bugging Octavius for his pizelle recipe (he won’t give it up). tweeting one direction and begging them to reunite for a Christmas album. Rewatching all the holiday seasons of the Great British Bake Off. Making roast for Christmas dinner. Making mulled wine at some point. Game day with the crew the day after Christmas. Writing Nate a poem every Christmas they’re usually really bad . eating one candy cane per season out of obligation and then going back to his hatred of mint. buying a million seasonal items at Bath and Body Works. watching It’s a Wonderful Life with Nathaniel on Christmas Eve Eve. Dressing his kids in christmas pajamas. That’s all I can think of for now.

okay i’m finally done this took me almost two hours oh my god. happy frat boi-ing.

[jan-uinely]

hot takes

okie dokie. grace has gathered her thoughts regarding ~recent events~ into what could appear to be an unoriginal take. but we’re going to share anyways. 

Drag Race cast a group of people for season 12 that had the greatest potential in a while. I mean a top 8 where you could see almost anyone in the top 4 is a pretty good gig. unfortunately, the producers have fucked over these gals so severely [in addition to other unfortunate events]. 

So #1. I don’t think they needed to cast SP in this season. should they have vetted better? yes [go to Sibling Rivalry for more] But seeing her essentially cut out, they still have enough to do. Also if she wasn’t there, the judges would not be sleeping on EVERYONE besides gigi.

So next. The ball challenge should have had aiden and brita lip sync. maybe Rock would have gone home in the next ep, who knows. but the producers saw a storyline there, and considering there was basically no drama anywhere else they decided to keep going and ensure that brita and aiden faced off later on. Now what has this led to? just far too much hate. and yes you can blame the fans, but production has to know that they play a part in this too. 

Next up of course is miss Jan Sport. now, she is everything i have ever wanted. Try-hard, super fan, musical theatre, Backpacks, etc. all of the above. checking those boxes. 

but the producers didn’t like her. [can i make it anymore obvious? no.] I think because she doesn’t check a box really besides ingenue, and that she was nice and didn’t start drama, that she would be easy to cut?? idk. 

It’s interesting. based on her promo look, I didn’t think much of her. It’s also interesting that she paints really young and gigi paints older. 

So the producers couldn’t find a good storyline from their past portfolios, and she was doing well in the challenges [say what you want, I think the only time she really deserved safe [as opposed to high or win] was snatch game] that the only way to get a story out of her was to break her. 

And so we arrive at season 12 episode 7. face crack heard round the world. She should have won the challenge. and the thing is, from all the commentary i’ve seen. everyone agrees that jan ought to have won the challenge. but it’s more than just taking it away from jan, it’s forcing gigi down our throats- and gig is likable. with such a talented cast, you don’t need to load 2 girls up with all the wins. You don’t need to force drama. You can just let it play out. see how the best of the best fare in the challenges. 

So entering episode 8, it’s all very very. no one’s going to be outright mad at gigi for winning the challenge because she wasn’t bad and production’s decisions are not her fault. 

jan pushing the brita storyline is great though. and I “believe” it but it’s still funny. 

So you now have jan in a position that is like the judges refuse to acknowledge anything you do as good enough. so being who she is, she puts it all on the floor in the commercial. And quite frankly, I didn’t think it was that bad. It kept me entertained the whole time [also bc im a fan] and it was very on brand- which is the whole point of the challenge. 

and herein lies production AGAIN. this is where you could have done a double save. Don’t put jan up for elimination. tbh Widow could have sent SP home. and then wouldn’t that be nice. however. gigi could have gone against widow and i wouldn’t be surprised if they used a double save there. or, as bob suggested, gigi v SP. but production had gotten the “sob stories” out of widow, and she had been safe, and they got the face crack from jan, who had also been safe. so they figured we milked them for what it’s worth, let’s just do this and we won’t have to make any hard decisions because we don’t like jan anyways. 

Now for the lip sync. I don’t disagree with the decision that was made. but. people saying jan was doing too much- that it didn’t fit the song? sure. but what would you expect her to do? 

idk if you’ve gone down the youtube rabbit hole, but I have! and you know how in season 10 monet was all very “I wear a bodysuit and bus driver wig bc I’m from NY” yeah. It checks out. and jan dances. Her all is pulling out all the stunts. and not being able to do that would suck for her. so the reveal totally checks. get into something comfortable to do everything that she can do. 

I will say [aside from the fact that trolls spoiled this for me] I knew in the first 3 seconds of the song that widow would win. It’s very hard to pull off a costume change in a lip sync for your life that takes more than a second and still win. On top of the whole “we’re not gonna send widow home in front of her idol” storyline, she did an excellent job. 

I saw a take on the internet that if it were ariana or gaga or robyn, jan would have turned it out and I think that’s true. 

It is interesting to note that there is this interesting trend in the dusted or busted scoring system that generally leaves one person 9-7th place with a good record- like usually 4th and 5th place has a worse record than one person 9-7.  

I don’t think the producers anticipated the fact that Jan is so likable [quite frankly most of them are]. or maybe they did. Or the fact that positively rn is just so severely lacking that having someone with jan’s personality on the show would be great. 

because it is interesting that they have not really had jan’s character on before. You have the violet/aquaria/gigi type who is the skinny white fashion queen that can turn out other things. you have the small town scrappy queen who is very charismatic. you have the “clown” You have the strictly fashion queens. You have the know it all. You have the villain edit. But the concept of someone who is [relatively] new to drag [Jan started in like ~ mid 2016 and the show was shot in 2019] who is very very good [i think it was in a live or something but someone was basically like Jan blew up very quickly in new york]. So it’s just fascinating. Yes, there were theatre queens in the past but Jan’s personality is “theatre kid” which i love.

And then you have copyright law working against her. Jansport the backpack vs Jan Sport the drag queen. it’s tricky. But there were so many missed opportunities because of the pesky copyright. For instance the ball ball. and just all the backpack jokes. 

Jan is set up very nicely for All Stars 6, and I for one can’t wait. 

It will be interesting to see how the rest of the season shakes out. I just think it would have been more interesting if producers weren’t pushing a predetermined ending. 

She told us from the beginning- there’s no choice but to stan. Who am I to do otherwise?

[summerspn]

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore

Witty, carefree, hardworking, intelligent, & fun. Lorelai is loveable in many ways but she can also be irresponsible, very selfish & a commitment-phobe.

Lorelai hasn’t changed at all over the years. The lack of evolution is actually disappointing.

In the first few seasons I found her charming but later I found her selfish & annoying. I think that’s because she never takes responsibility for her actions & everyone always loves her. Sometimes it reaches almost Mary Sue or cult-like levels. She can do no wrong in the eyes of almost every single character except her parents...which is probably why she gets annoyed with them. She resents the fact they don’t worship her the way the town does.

Even Luke gets annoyed at her a lot but then gives in, smiles & then looks like he’s over it. He’s one of the few people to call her out on her ridiculous or selfish behaviour but then let’s it go.

She always gets her own way. He even said in Year in the Life that he’ll never leave no matter how bad she treats him....Was that supposed to be romantic? It’s actually sad, like an abused spouse sticking it out. Though I think it was likely just the word choice used. I get that Amy Sherman Palladino was trying to showcase Luke’s loyalty but there were better ways...

Through the entire series Lorelai has a love for gimmickry & silly rants. Sometimes it was cute & other times I just wanted to tell her to “Stop interrupting people!”. By the end of the series I wanted to tell her to shut up- mainly because her little ‘amusing’ rants were ill timed & often made her sound like an idiot.

Lorelai grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth & she resented her parents for that. Once she became pregnant at sixteen she didn’t make any effort to plan for her (and baby Rory’s) future. Yet we see in the flashbacks that she was still annoyed at her parents. They were scrambling to try to make the best of the situation & she was annoyed with them for it.

Lorelai was ungrateful then...ungrateful when they arranged for a nanny to help after she gave birth...and ungrateful for everything afterwards.

There’s a lot of questionable behaviour that Lorelai does. Some can be attributed to the fact she was a teenager at the time - like dismissing Christopher’s marriage proposal. She loved him but said no. Not a mistake exactly but she still pushed him away - which I think was a bad move. She should have talked to him about finding a way to keep him involved in Rory’s life.

Christopher was pushed away & being immature he felt they were better off and he kept his distance. What is questionable is that never, in all the years growing up did Lorelai tell him to grow some balls, man up & see his daughter more. She would have been broke & should have asked for some money to help with daycare etc.

The only reason Lorelai didn’t ask for money or more involvement was pride, pure & simple. She wanted to say she did it all ‘alone’, to feel superior to how her parents did things.

Later, even when Christopher does start to take more responsibility as a father, she says things that sounded very passive aggressive. Like she didn’t want him to have a better relationship with Rory. So it’s a catch 22, a no win situation where there was really was no way for Christopher to fix things.

They say early on that Christopher did weekly phone calls & the occasional visit. Not great but not terrible either. But Lorelai acts like he is a bad father & yet still constantly flirts with him. What is that?!

It’s a complete mind fuck.

That’s probably a big reason I started to like Christopher by the end. He always did as Lorelai wanted, respecting her wishes while trying to have a relationship with his daughter & do his own thing. All contradictory but so is how Lorelai treated him. She basically jerked him around.

You shouldn’t do that regarding your child’s father. Be clear & set boundaries... that’s important but she did the opposite all the time & there was zero evolution with that over the years.

Even later, when Christopher made more effort to see Rory, and when they had a good relationship, Lorelai chose to keep a very big life decision from him. Rory didn’t tell him she dropped out of school because she was being selfish right? Well as a co-parent, that then fell to Lorelai. She should have called Christopher and told him their daughter dropped out of college & is acting out of character.

Even if he couldn’t change her mind, he should have known. But who knows, maybe she would have listened? Sometimes it’s easier to listen to people you’re not talking to every day (like how Jess was able to talk some sense into her).

But Lorelai deliberately kept quiet about Rory’s dropping out of school & her arrest. Why keep it from him? He would have been worried.

The only thing I can think of is the Lorelai somehow thought it didn’t matter to him, which just shows she wasn’t paying attention & was being selfish.

When Christopher happily agrees to take over paying for Yale, both Rory & Lorelai keep it from Emily & Richard. It’s avoiding an awkward conversation but instead the elder Gilmores end up being embarrassed by having to deal with the financial mix up, thinking the school had made a mistake.

So Emily & Richard were embarrassed & probably had a very stressful & panicked reaction to make sure the tuition was covered. Richard said he had yelled at a woman out of desperation to make sure everything was settled. I personally would have been freaked if someone said school was paid for but wasn’t. I’d want to know there wouldn’t be any issues!

So think about it, the woman dealing with that had a really bad day because of it.

So Lorelai (whose job it was to tell her parents), was selfish again and it resulted in a lot of stress for others because she was avoiding telling her parents about the tuition.

Lorelai isn’t evil and sometimes she is a good partner. Like when Luke for some reason didn’t tell her about April for two months. She was upset but sticks by him.

She adjusts & tries to deal. It was refreshing to see. Her & Luke have chemistry & the banter is good but even by the end of the series they still don’t communicate very well. She still acts like he should be her servant a lot of time because she’s pretty bossy.

In Year in the Life they have zero communication skills & it’s pretty sad considering they’ve been together for 10 years. But again everything is always about her. Lorelai keeping therapy from him, wanting to meet with Paris about IVF when Luke clearly is just...stunned. It’s just baffling.

During her marriage & rough patches with Christopher Lorelai insists she loves him. I think she loved him as a teenager & as an adult loves the idea of him but she always strung him along which is not exactly a loving trait. So I actually liked when she married Christopher I just thought it should have included Rory & her parents (even if spontaneous).

What made me upset is that one minute she’s telling Christopher she loves him then she’s taking to Luke again. Christopher - her HUSBAND- tells her he’s not comfortable with the relationship & she completely ignores his concerns.

When he suggested they buy a bigger house she was adamant they stay in her house (even though it was going to be too small for them, Gigi, Paul Anka & Rory when she visits). Christopher accommodates quickly....then sees more interaction between her & Luke & gets jealous.

Of course he does. He acts like a jerk but so does Luke & so does Lorelai. But we’re supposed to hate Christopher for that? Um, no.

Then Lorelai writes that personal reference letter about Luke for the custody battle & Christopher finds it. She kept it from him. Hearing the letter & seeing his reaction - to me - sounded very much like it was saying Luke was Rory’s father not Christopher. I can understand the hurt there.

Seriously, all Lorelai would have to do was tell Christopher she feels she owes it to Luke to write the letter. Be honest with him & it would have been a non-issue. But by hiding it like a 12 yr old, it gave the wrong message, that she had feelings for Luke still. And Christopher may be immature but he wasn’t an idiot.

The only really stupid thing he did, was pull away for those few days. I think Lorelai said it was less than a week. It was dumb & a dick move...but I also get it. That would be painful. You change your entire life, commit to the person you were in love with for 20 yrs, make a life with them & your child, only to see proof she wasn’t even trying to commit to you? That’s rough. Not an excuse but I get the anger there.

However, hearing the messages that Lorelai left him, it still sounds pretty weak like she wasn’t sure what she wanted. She didn’t put her husband first, she never offered to give up her ‘friendship’ with Luke. Tv shows always act like it would be unhealthy to give up an ex for their current partner. But no, giving up an ex is part of the commitment process...if it’ll make your spouse happy & prove your love, do it.

It shouldn’t be a question. Besides at that point Lorelai was barely taking to Luke anyways. But she didn’t want that & again put herself first. And many of her phone messages to Christopher were dancing around things.

She could have at that point, agreed to move to a new town together - which also would have proved her commitment & made him happy. She could have said ‘I love you & miss you but screw you for leaving me!’ It took her awhile before she finally said it & as soon as she did he came to his senses....but then saw Luke there, again.

And right after Lorelai wanted a divorce. No counselling, no talk of what boundaries they should have regarding Luke. Nothing. Lorelai just said it is what it is...being selfish. And Christopher just backs off like a scared & heartbroken boy.

What annoyed the crap out of me about the marriage was Lorelai still made all the decisions. She basically wanted Christopher as a roommate only. No thought about what a marriage should be or what they wanted from the marriage.

That, and the fact Emily was offering her advice but Lorelai never took it. She never once asked her mom for help...and Emily liked Christopher so she would’ve helped in any way she could. Lorelai knew this but didn’t even try.

Then once the marriage is over, before the big celebration party, Lorelai waits to tell her parents. Her mother spent money on a brilliant party...giving no thought to how that would make her mother look or feel. Wedding-party talk with her mom was important to Emily because she missed her only daughter’s wedding but Lorelai didn’t care.

Then there are instances where Lorelai is just being immature & makes things tough for her parents as an adult. She constantly whines about Friday night dinners, rarely told her parents she loved them or cared for them. Her love was conditional.

When her dad needed his meds her mom was clearly implying that she needed someone to pick them up.

Lorelai was toying with her, playing games about who can pick them up. Playing around when Emily was stressed. I don’t know about you but if I see my mom stressed out I want to help. She could have just said ‘I’ll pick it up’ though she does later, after jerking her around first.

There are times we clearly see Emily trying to make Lorelai feel better. When they were bonding over taxes, Emily tells her it’s not horrible & that she’ll be okay. It’s a complicated relationship so Emily later thanks her for helping but is also upset & grieving the thought of not having Christopher as a son-in-law anymore. So Emily points out how much money was thrown away on the party, so what? Lorelai acted like her mother was bad for doing that but wouldn’t you be upset if you spent tens of thousands of dollars for nothing? I would!

Lorelai was ungrateful & spoiled.

As much as some people hate season 7 I think there are some really good moments in the series. Especially showing Lorelai’s character. At one point T.J. calls her too much drama...and he’s right! When Rory disrespects people Lorelai never calls her out on it. She jerks both Christopher & Luke around.

An episode near the end of the series, Rory , Lorelai & Emily go to the wedding of the old owner of the Independence Inn, Maya. The entire episode Lorelai is completely oblivious to how her mom feels. When Rory spells it out for her Lorelai tried to be gentle & reassure her mom she didn’t lose her. It was nice to see.

But the next episode it was like Lorelai went right back to treating her poorly so Emily keeps her at arms length.

In season 7 though we see that Lorelai accepted Logan which was a big step. She also agreed to keep seeing her parents after Rory graduates, which is big. So there were a few things that weren’t bad & were improvements but at the same time, with all her whiny & passive aggressive behaviour, I wouldn’t say she evolved at all.

I did find it strange the entire town wanted to go to Rory’s graduation from Yale. Was this supposed to be funny?? Personally I thought it was dumb. Lorelai should have at that point told them to back off. A wasted opportunity. It could have shown some evolution regarding the town’s unhealthy idol worship of both Lorelai & Rory. But nope it was just Lorelai dancing around it, not wanting to set boundaries again.

I think Lorelai is very selfish as you can tell. She’s always jerking people- mainly her love interests- around. Max, Luke, Christopher, even that guy Alex (she dated briefly) she was back & forth on.

When she gave birth to Rory she made some mistakes. That’s understandable as is how immature & selfish she was. However, by the start of the series she never evolved. Ever.

Even when she goes back to school & gets her business degree - which is big life accomplishment...she still acts unprofessional on the phone at work & with vendors. Sure she had some funny conversations and all but she’s 32 in season one. Then she acts exactly the same in season 7 - at 39...both professionally & personally. Then Year in the Life was supposed to be 10 years later so she’s 49.

She & Luke still didn’t get married. No other kids, zero communication. Ugh I really wished the time jump could have been used better. All it would have taken were a few family photos & like ONE scene where Luke & Lorelai are in bed reading to their 3 yr old twins or something. Could have been cute!

It also would have shown Lorelai’s growth by giving up the house to get a bigger one for everyone (it would have proven her commitment to Luke & the family too). But what can one expect from the train wreck that is Year in the Life?

I’m a big fan of seeing characters grow & evolve. So it annoys me when I see a fun character like Lorelai, stuck as a selfish spoiled brat. I may have liked her more if she ended up friends with her mom or being more strict with Rory...something. Wasted opportunities with her.

To put it plainly I was so-so about Lorelai when I was younger but now as an adult I don’t like her. But she did have some great lines!

The actress who plays her, Lauren Graham is perfect though! Just amazing. Not sure how she could have remembered all those lines, talk a mile a minute & make it feel like her emotions are genuine. Takes real talent!