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#newer news from nowhere
the-happy-man · 1 year
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Consumer societies are unequipped to make sense of death. As Weber pointed out, premodern humans could imagine themselves as part of an “organic life cycle” of which death was the natural end; this belief was sanctified by religion and ritual. Modern life, on the other hand, unfolds as a “never-ending process,” and the disenchantment of the world has eliminated the forms of religion that used to give us solace; we can only see death as a “meaningless event.”
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cherrysnax · 2 years
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the webcomic scene growing and thriving is great and all but god damn it’s like every comic has to be like. 100% professional now, I remember when I first got into webcomics things were like allowed to be goofy for like the first 200 or so pages, nowadays it’s like… I’ll see ppl start their comic and produce massive illustrations every single panel and then they just stop because they’ve burnt themselves out trying to match art standards made by people with teams and a bunch of money
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thexsilentxwordsmith · 2 months
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader
From the request here
Fandom: Call of Duty
Character(s): Simon Riley, Reader
Summary: When a movie night has you questioning your bodies worth, Simon catches you in the shower to show you that your body is perfect just the way that it is.
Word Count: 4.3 k
Warnings:
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“Look at the jugs on her,” one of the guys says at the busty blonde that has just been introduced for the first time in the film. A few others follow suit, whooping at the gorgeous, petite female main character popping up on screen as the movie really gets going. “That’s a woman you could lose yourself in. Fuck, I wish I could find a girl like her; I’d be a happy man for life. To have that waiting at home for me, I’d never even be tempted to stray.”
This is usually how movie night on base goes: people piling into the rec center ready to watch the latest movie from the personal collection from one of the members, but mostly it just devolves into a testosterone fest of horny boys itching to have something to focus their sexual frustrations on by ogling at the new pretty little thing on screen. Usually it doesn’t bother you, you’re used to being around all that chaos, but tonight just feels different.
Simon isn’t one for this type of gathering, but he comes to keep an on the crowd and be nearer to you and as he watches out of the corner of his eye from his place standing towards the back, he notices how your body language changes as the guys continue to raucously talk about the leading lady and how beautiful she is. It’s almost imperceptible the way you shift in your seat while you pick at the skin of your lower lip with your teeth, your shoulders slumping down as you cross your arms, but he catches it outright. He knows you and he knows this isn’t normal. 
Something is bothering you.
The longer you sit there the worse it gets. Their lustful words just cut different tonight; maybe it’s exhaustion from being overworked or perhaps you’re just having an off day, but the longer they hoot and holler over the girl plastered before your eyes, the more you want to crawl out of your skin.
It’s about halfway through the movie when you slowly get up from your seat, trying not to draw attention to yourself by leaving too quickly and exit the rec without looking back. Simon is instantly concerned and wants to rush after you, but one of the newer recruits that seems to be the ringleader in all this turns to him as if to drag him into the depraved fun.
“Whatcha think; gotta admit she’s a fine thing, ain’t she Lieutenant?” he asks, nodding back at the screen. “Come on, even you gotta admit she’s perfect. Couldn’t hope to find anyone better.” 
The look that Simon gives the young man through his mask, that stone cold glare that could make even the bravest man shiver, instantly shuts him up and has him facing forward again to join his brothers in arms in their jokes. His brow furrows angrily behind the fabric as he looks over the crowd of boys once more before heading out, leaving quietly like a specter on his way to find where you had gotten to. 
Simon checks all the usual places, but you are nowhere to be found: the little area outside the rec where you usually join him for a smoke break, the mess hall, even your barracks are empty. Then he hears movement in the communal bathroom and knows he’s finally found you. 
It looks like you’ve been rushing to get done before anyone can catch you. Your hair is damp from the shower and it drips down to leave dark stains onto your t-shirt as you stand staring at yourself in the mirror behind the sink. Simon watches quietly from his obscured place by the door as you look yourself over, scrutinizing each detail from head to toe before you give up with a sigh and a diversion of your eyes, focusing on your toothbrush instead as you pick it up and turn on the faucet. So absorbed in what you are doing, you don’t hear the lock click closed or the pair of heavy boots that cross the length of the room until there is a presence upon you. 
“God, you’re so beautiful baby,” you hear that deep, gravelly voice sound from behind you while a bulky arm wraps itself around your waist from behind as Simon presses up against your back. You look back up into the mirror in front of you and are instantly met with a pair of brilliant brown eyes as he slowly removes his balaclava. “Just standin’ there fresh outta the shower and ya look like a fantasy.”  
Setting the mask on the sink he joins his other arm around you and leans his face in, the tip of his nose nuzzles into the side of your neck before he presses his lips against your jugular. His lips catch the feeling of your pulse quickening through the vein at his touch. Rough hands begin to splay across your clothed stomach, running across and down to your hips with gentle caresses that make you pause. Your eyes stare into the mirror to take in your combined form as he drapes himself over you, hot lips peppering your skin with no sign of letting up.
You chuckle dismissively, trying to play off his words as a joke. Your head still isn’t in the right place and even though you enjoy the feeling of his touch, disastrous thoughts still circle throughout to cloud your mind so that you second guess even his affections. 
“Oh, come off it,” you return as you grab the toothpaste off the countertop. “I do not.” 
There is no hesitation in his reply. “I’m serious,” he breathes that husky whisper against your skin as his lips continue down to your shoulder as his fingers pull the t-shirt away from your collar bone to reveal more skin for him to adorn with his mouth.
You roll your eyes in the mirror so that as he looks up briefly he catches the movement. “Yeah, sure,” you again dismiss him. “Whatever you say.”
Before you can even unscrew the cap to the toothpaste, Simon reaches past you to turn off the tap and take your things out of your hands before he rotates you around so that you face him. Your backside presses into the edge of the sink as you rest up against it, mouth scrunched to one side as he gazes back at you with intent. There is a subtle frown on his lips and an anxious look in his copper eyes. 
“What’s wrong?” he asks, concerned. “Somethin’ happen? Cause I did see ya leave in a hurry back there.”
You divert your eyes, ashamed of your lack of confidence that has come forward tonight. “I don’t know, it’s nothing,” you shrug, but he isn’t buying any of it. 
His large hand rests itself up under your chin, pulling your head back up to look into his face. “I think ya do know,” he says. “Will ya tell me?”
Clearing your throat, you give yourself a moment to figure out how best to proceed. “It’s just,” you say hesitantly, “I guess sometimes I just wish I looked like that, you know? I know I’m usually not this self-conscious, but tonight I guess I just hit a rough patch with my insecurities and something about the shit they were saying just got to me I guess. You see the way the guys talk about girls like in that movie, like she’s the most gorgeous thing in the world. She’s so perfect and… I…”
You gesture with your head down the length of your body to emphasize your point that you are nothing like the actress: your breasts are on the smaller side, your thighs are incredibly thick, and your stomach is not completely flat. Simon follows your hand, looking you up and down before his eyes meet yours again.
“I’m not. I know it’s fucking stupid and I shouldn’t care about all that, it doesn’t really matter, but sometimes it’s just hard to ignore. I’m not the standard when it comes to beauty, but sometimes I just want to feel like I’m the most irresistible person in the room.”
It seems like he wants to say something, you can see his mouth shifting, but instead his gaze drifts down to your lips and he pulls your chin forward to close the distance between your mouths. Instantly he overtakes your mouth with his own, tenderly capturing your lips over and over with a gentle desperation that makes him shudder against you as he moves in closer. 
“Who the fuck said ya ain’t perfect?” he asks, his voice breathy against your lips. “Gimme that bastard’s name. You tell me right now so I can go ring their fuckin’ neck. Cause that is a goddamn lie.”
“No one said anything like that, it’s just the way I feel,” you answer honestly. “And you’re only saying that because you like me.” 
Immediately Simon pulls you into another long kiss as if he is trying to take those insecure words right out of your mouth before you can say anything else. Breaking the kiss, Simon licks his flushed lips and shakes his head. “Really? Ya don’t think your body can drive someone wild? Then what’s this, hmm?” he asks, grabbing your wrist to pull your hand forward so that he can place the palm over top of the soft bulge growing in his boxers. “See whatcha do to me, sweetheart? Ya think that’s lyin’?”
Your hand rubs over the swell and his hips unconsciously buck slightly against your hand as he hums in approval of your touch. It is instantaneous the way you have him begging for even a simple touch from you; no other has ever held that kind of power over him, not anyone that he would give it to so freely like he does you. The warm pressure from your hand causes the pulsing to intensify as he grows harder and you find your heart beat starting to match its throbbing.
“Ya don’t think I catch the men lookin’ at ya from time to time?” he asks as he leans his head forward until it rests against your own, hands moving up under the hem of your shirt to play with the toasty skin of your abdomen as he talks. “Ya don’t think I see that their eyes glaze over as they linger on your body a bit too long for my fuckin’ likin’? Just cause they won’t say it out loud doesn’t make it any less true that you have something about ya that would drive any man wild.”
His words are like a balm to your mind and the longer he speaks the more you find yourself falling under their spell. Rough fingers are pushing up higher into your shirt, pulling it up over your waist as he runs his palms across the area while his hips press into yours. He’s not forceful or harsh, his advances are only full of adoration in that type of intense devotion that only Simon Riley is capable of when it comes to savoring the best damn thing he has ever had.   
“Don’t let what ya heard back there hurt ya,” he says softly. “Yeah, ya don’t look like that bird on the screen, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t an absolute beauty. You’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen and I ain’t just sayin’ it, baby. But ya don’t just have ta take my word for it. Let me show ya that no one can hold a candle to what ya got.”
Simon pulls you over to one of the empty showers and gets it going, fiddling with the taps to make sure the water is going nice and warm before he turns his undivided attention back to you. Instantly his mouth is back on yours as one by one each piece of your clothing is removed and set aside in tandem with his own until you both stand before the other bare.
“I’ve already showered,” you mutter out between pauses as merely just a statement of fact rather than a reason to deny him.
Simon murmurs his disagreement into your mouth. “Don’t care,” he replies through a break in his kiss, continuing to take off your clothes as he dizzyingly tries to get at your body. “Can’t be havin’ those fuckin’ negative thoughts in that head of yours. Wanna take care of ya, make ya feel like the true beauty ya are.”
More kissing, so much that your lips are burning and raw from the friction. His mouth must be aflame too, but he doesn’t let up; he can’t, he’s captured in the wake of your allure and there is no getting out. 
“What if someone comes in?” The last of your questions spills out quick.
He chuckles at your needless worry. “Already locked the door sweetheart.”
Stretching his hand out, he checks the temperature to be sure it’s right before dragging you inside the steamy oasis. The curtain is barely pulled closed before he has you pinned at the back wall, his stocky torso rubbing against your voluptuous naked body as he steals the breath from your lungs, kissing you so thoroughly that there is no distinction between faces anymore.
The change in temperature has your nipples hardening, the blossoms spiking forward at attention, and Simon can feel them poking against his chest the longer he has your mouth locked in that dance of back and forth. The moment he is aware of their presence his mouth is salivating to get at them. 
You might think they are not perfect enough, but to him they are exactly what he wants.
Breaking the kiss abruptly, removing his mouth so quickly that a trial of spit still connects your lips a moment, he tilts his head downward. Being on the smaller side, he can fit your breast almost entirely in his mouth and he does, filling the cavity with as much of your tit as he can without choking. 
You can hardly remember anymore why the stupid comments had you so upset in the first place when you have a man like Simon who will dote on you like you are royalty. His is the only opinion you have come to care about and it is clear that there is nothing he will ever want more than you. 
He moans deep and guttural into your breast as he sucks while letting the end of his tongue flick around the nipple, circling the sensitive tissue until you are writhing against him as he holds you steady to the wall so that he can work. There is another breast after all that requires his attention and he intends to show it the same amount of affection as the other. Switching sides, he gets to work, keeping the first breast warm by cupping it in his hand.
It’s minutes of you quivering and whimpering before he emerges panting with his lips swollen and red, satisfied with his work so far. Giving his lips a break, Simon gently strokes your cheek with his fingers as he gazes into your eyes, swaying your bodies from side to side in easy movements. “Stay with me luv,” he says softly as he watches you take heavy breaths, “I ain’t done just yet.”
Those lips are on the move again to decorate your body, over your sternum and waist, until he has to kneel before you to get any further. He’s on his knees, all 6’4” of him bent to you as he places kisses across your belly while the heated water runs over his dirty blonde hair and down his back, rippling across the muscles in his shoulders as he holds your hips squeezed securely between his broad hands. 
“You’re perfect just the way ya are, baby,” he groans against your moist skin, letting his lips linger wherever he puts them. “Just like this: real, curves for fuckin’ days, so much skin I get drunk tryin’ to get at it all. And the best goddamn part is that it’s all mine.”
More kisses he places along all the areas you think unworthy of adoration, but that he finds absolutely exquisite. “Mine, all mine.”
His words devolve into incoherent babble as he nestles his face into your abdomen to leave burning trails of his desire with his lips that even the warm water cannot wash away from your skin. Your body writhes in his double-handed grasp as your head falls back to rest against the wall as every inch of tender flesh prickles with the overstimulating sensation of being doted upon. 
Lips keep trailing further downward from your stomach to the mound of your sex, through the trimmed patch of hair at the top of your pussy, before they sink into the bulk of your thick, stocky thighs.
“Ya think I get on my knees for any girl?” he asks from his place at the bottom of the shower as he stares up into your face with half-lidded eyes that darken the more he plays with you. “You’re the only one who can bring me to fuckin’ kneel, baby. You and your gorgeous body. I’m at it’s goddamn mercy.” 
Placing his hand on your calf, he nods and you know exactly what he wants: that juicy cunt smothering his features, your bulky thighs crush against his ears. Carefully he helps you to adjust your footing so that he can lift your leg. Propping it up on his own thigh, he sits back on his calves so that his face sits at the same level as your pussy and he leans in, smothering his face right between those dangerously thick pieces of flesh as you widen your stance with his guidance to make it easier. Hardened fingertips dig themselves into your body, forcing you even more firmly against his face until his nose is pressed into your clit and he moves his head back and forth to stimulate it with the tip. 
There is little oxygen to be had between the heat from the water and the heat between your legs, but it doesn’t matter. The sound of your soft, breathy gasps and moans as he penetrates your entrance with his tongue is enough to sustain him until he can come up to breathe. Lapping and thrusting, wriggling and applying pressure, if there is even a whisper of a negative thought left in your brain it is overshadowed completely now by the overwhelming euphoria of being devoured to the brink of insanity.
You buck wild and untamed, panting heavily as the warmth in your belly begins gathering quicker than you could have thought, the coil pulling tightly as minute by aching minute Simon draws your body to the edge of its release. He is relentless in his endeavor, putting your needs above anything else- even breathing. That tongue has moved up to your clit now and with weighty presses over the tiny bean you soon are spilling over the edge and he has to hold onto you tight so that you don’t slip and fall.
Simon stays locked to your pussy until the very last second, keeping his movements going even as you try to pry him off from the sensitivity that is almost too much to handle. It isn’t until you finally stop writhing that he emerges from between your legs with a smile that has your stomach doing somersaults as he wipes his mouth clean of your cum. 
“Second course,” he growls before you even have a chance to fully come down from your high.
Oh you have got him down bad tonight. 
He carefully flips you round to face the wall and uses his feet to make you spread your legs as wide as you can get them. A hefty hand runs itself over the curve of your ass, following the line down all the way to the underside before he grabs it in his hand and gives the meat a firm squeeze.
“Those little boys just don’t know how to handle this much woman; all these fuckin’ curves are too much pleasure for a bastard that don’t know the treasure he’s got. But I know what a fuckin’ feast ya are,” he groans as he aligns your hips and enters you from behind with a forceful grunt that reverberates off the enclosed space of the shower. 
You push palms flat against the wall to steady yourself. “They don’t know how ta treat ya right, how ta love a body that just keeps givin’ and givin’. But I don’t have that problem, sweetheart.”
Simon’s devout words are like liquid fire and as his cock stretches you wide, the euphoria of his talk runs through you to make you burn. Your body is his religion and goddamn does he always worship it right. All those cares, all that self-loathing and doubt entirely evaporate from your mind as he pushes your shoulders forward to make you arch your back so that he can pound into your pussy hard and deep from behind, making your plump ass bounce off his pelvis with a recoil that draws his gaze.
“Fuck,” he breathes, so obsessed with the way you look around him that he is trying to ingrain the image in his mind.  
His aching exclamation thrills you, making your heart skip a beat as his thrusts continue to rock through you. To be craved in such a way, to be thought of like the woman in the movie, that is what he is giving you now and it is euphoric. His intensity is orgasmic and your body responds in kind as he grabs you to move you closer.
“Don’t concern yourself with the bullshit ideas of some puny little boys when ya got a man who will always make sure you feel like a fuckin’ princess when you’re in his arms,” he says in a whisper at your ear as he pulls you back to leans against his chest. “Cause ya are, sweetheart. Your my fuckin’ goddess of a woman.”
The way he says it makes you ache all over and you can feel it twinge in your clit. “Say it again,” you beg, needing to hear him make those sweet combinations of sounds once more until your body vibrates with pleasure. 
His hand comes up to cup around your breast so that he can massage the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, causing you to mewl at the sensation. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful baby, so goddamn perfect just like this, and I love every last fuckin’ inch of ya. My princess.”
Your cheeks feel like they are glowing and on fire as thrusts after thrust he pounds into you, stretching you and filling you full on all of his passion for your body. You will never be able to make everyone see you for the gorgeous being that you truly are, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Simon is more than enough to keep you feeling like the most beautiful girl in the whole world; you are safe with him.
Your head falls back against his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut as his arms that are filled with your waist clamp down tighter to secure you to him so that he can shove his cock even harder into your now dripping core. “Yes, yes,” you whimper out. 
“Come for me again,” he practically demands as he watches you falling apart once more. “Come on, pretty girl, one more for me. One more together.”
Your limbs are tingling with each snap of his hips against your ass. It’s close, right there, you can almost feel it again as the coil wounds itself tight once more in the pit of your stomach. You clench down on him, making him falter before recovering and continuing on. A few more pumps of him deep in your core and it is right there at the precipice.
“Let go for me,” he whispers into your ear as you clench once more around him and something about the way he says it sets you off. You come for the second time, the orgasm rocketing through you until you can feel it like fire shooting through your veins as you shake with the intensity of it all. 
Quickly he pulls out just in time as he too pops off and comes between your thighs as you clamp them together around his cock. The ejaculate runs down your legs as he milks every last bit out of the tip until his body hangs limp and his head falls down to rest the forehead against your shoulder. Still he holds you close, murmuring soft praises against your neck about how fucking amazing that was and how there is no one else that will ever look more beautiful all flushed and exhausted.
Holding onto you, Simon takes a few steps back forcing you to come along until you are both submerged under the showerhead to let that soothing water run over your bodies until you can both come back down from your high. There are no words yet, none that need to be said out loud, all he needs to do is keep you wrapped in his arms a little longer.
It’s quiet, just the sound of the water rushing filling the silent space for a while, until a noise breaks you both out of the moment. There is a banging on the door from the outside, repeated knocking loudly and clearly; you’ve been in here for too long, but Simon doesn’t seem to be bothered. There is no attempt to leave the steamy oasis yet and soon the sound subsides and you are both left in the silence once again. 
“They’ll just have to fuckin’ wait,” he says against the side of your head in a hushed whisper, lips tempting your earlobe. “They can consider it a punishment for making ya upset. Besides, I’m still busy and you’re not goin’ anywhere.”
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hells-wasabii · 2 months
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Character: Alastor
Type: Headcanons(X g/n reader; general)
A/N: Hi, wasabi here happy to bring my take on how a relationship with Alastor would play out.
Alastor had never been too keen on the idea of a relationship. Honestly, he never quite saw the appeal. The radio demon was even weary of his friends, not that they knew that of course. But that all changed when he met you.
At first, it was the same as all of the other demons he had met since his untimely demise. A possible means to progress in whatever plans he may hold. But you were different, weren't you? He couldn't quite place it, but you were something special. Maybe you would be of more use to him alive and free from a contract until he could figure out just what exactly it was that made you special. And that definitely made you interesting.
Speaking of interesting: When the Hazbin Hotel came to be, it was only naturally that you went along, whether you believed in the whole redemption shtick or not.
Of course, the hotelier is nothing but a gentleman, whether it be a compliment out of nowhere here, opening the door for you there, if there was an opportunity he'd take it
Though you can't hang around the radio demon without him being kinda creepy and cryptic on occasion. If you are weirded out by it, he'd try to keep it on the down low, around you at least.
Another thing to note is he would for sure be the jealous type. He wouldn't particularly like it when someone else has stolen your attention away, he does enjoy it quite a bit after all. Now, if you were to be jealous with him? Oh, he would BASK in it, outright loves it. Sometimes he might even try to make you jealous on purpose, though he doesn't usually do so maliciously, more in a comical, obvious way.
Don't expect to be surrounded by new tech either, this man has a love for the classics that's only rivaled by his care for you. He'll make a face if you try to chat him up about newer tech. Not that he doesn't care for your interests, it's more that he himself has a distaste for it, as well as the demons that are majorly behind it.
Honestly, with our lovely radio demon, he probably doesn't even realize he's grown so attached to you until someone points it out to him. Husk and Nifty definitely had a bet or something going on that Angel Dust probably got in on too.
He might even try to distance himself from you, not wanting to open himself up to weakness but by this point it is already too late. The thought of not having you around anymore left him pretty distressed, to the point that he just resigned to keep you by his side for as long as you would have him.
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gorgeouslypink · 4 months
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something that i think people don't understand abt manifesting is that you really need to forget abt the "how"
i want to share something that happened recently at work. as many of you know, im working my dream job that i manifested in the void. the coworkers are great, the pay is amazing, i do like the work im doing and i manifested being really good at it too BUT recently i kind of hit a block mentally. there wasn't really anything i disliked and i couldn't even explain what i felt and why i felt this way.
i talked to some friends but all they could suggest is getting a new job but that wasn't it either.
anyways i know LOA and i can even enter the void. i didn't enter the void for this issue because i didn't know what i wanted so one night, when i was contemplating this entire issue, i decided no more. i just knowingly told myself that i would start loving my job and did SATS for it.
within the next day, a coworker announced she was moving to a different company. and by coworker, i meant a huge boss. this threw our entire company into a frenzy and it was determined that my department was to take on some of her stuff. all of us had our responsibilities moved around and i got some new tasks.
these new tasks are so fun! and i also came into realization as to what was troubling me. i work in data analytics, meaning i look at all my company's data and i analyze trends or anything else people need. i manifested being insanely good at coding and having an easy time with projects so i really like this job but i kinda didn't see any results of my work. i would do all this work and then hand it off to someone and just start doing something else. however, one of my new responsibilities is actually seeing what happens with my data, seeing what people do with it, and I'm now able to directly speak to some people in meetings and such and emphasize my thoughts. when i first manifested everything in the void, it was coming from a girl who was pretty insecure and shy and liked to keep to herself. im still an introvert (ig that never really leaves you) but now im way more confident and ig i really wanted to talk to people and push my ideas more.
not to mention, these new responsibilities opened up a whole new coworker circle for me. don't get me wrong, i love my coworker friends but it's always fun to meet newer people and i met some really nice people who are changing the way i think professionally but are also great people in general.
i also got my equipment upgraded and i never realized how annoying my old equipment was until i experienced the new equipment.
anyways i could go on and on but the point im trying to make is "don't worry about the how." i literally didn't even know why i was feeling down and if you had asked me before if that coworker would be leaving, i would have said no. she's been working there for 20+ years and she always loved her job and had amazing benefits so no one saw this coming, but i did talk to her and she said she always wanted to try a different industry and she finally got the opportunity. not to mention, my department and her department aren't even closely related. ig my department knows a little bit of everyone's stuff because we look at everyone's data but we were totally blindsided when we were first told thar we were the ones that were going to help take over, esp such a high level person's job.
this is a side story but one night, i just really wanted some cookies. ig i was having midnight munchies but the cookies were 25 miles away and there was just no way it was happening. anyways i fell asleep knowing that i was going to get the cookies the next day and i was just thinking of doordash or grabbing them myself but when i woke up, the cookies were on the kitchen table. before everyone starts hating and asking how those cookies appeared out of nowhere, apparently my friend was in the area and thought of me so she grabbed me some as soon as they opened and left it on my kitchen table.
so seriously, stop worrying about the how and what ifs and just go straight to your desire.
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bonny-kookoo · 3 months
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Jungkook
𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐥 [Teaser]
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In which Jungkook really only went to earth to take home his new pet- but ends up leaving with a lot more than that.
Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, Ocean theme, very wet planet, bioluminescence, sci-fi, Romance, strangers to lovers, God this ended up WAY softer and fluffier than I thought it would, Fluff, Kook is tall and buff but sometimes fails to realize that, a pet shark named Custard, another pet shark named Noodle, more TBA
Length: unknown yet, teaser is ~700 words
-> Masterlist
A/N: a silly idea I had because of fellow fish enthusiast @euphoricfilter
━━━━━━━━━━.~°🩵°~.━━━━━━━━━━━
“I’m pretty sure they’ll get along great.” Jungkook smiles. “Of course I’ll have to slowly familiarize the two- but Custard is very sweet, she’s just sometimes a bit moody.” He explains to you, who watches the other shark in the tank with him as he’s being fed by a caretaker.
“I heard they’re a.. popular pet.” You mention, and Jungkook nods.
“Yeah! I initially wanted a lemon shark first, but then things changed, and I got custard first.” He shrugs. “Which I think might have been a good thing, considering that lemon sharks are said to get jealous easily if not properly socialized. It’s easier to introduce them to an already established shark than have them first and get them comfortable with a new one.” The alien explains, watching his new pet swim around.
“You know a lot about them.” You say, and he chuckles a bit bashful.
“I uh- not really. I just.. wanted to know what I’d be getting myself into. A pet is a big responsibility. “ He explains to you, and you nod.
“I swam with lemon sharks before.” You mention. “they’re pretty cute, but.. a bit chaotic sometimes.” You giggle, remembering the time, and how overwhelmed you’d gotten as the sharks had began playfully fighting over attention of you and the other divers.
“So you’re a good swimmer?” He asks curiously, standing next to you in front of the gigantic tank that holds his chosen pet inside, the young shark swimming around for now, while he’s being prepared for the newer conditions soon to become his permanent home.
“..decent.” You laugh a bit uneasy. “I.. nowhere near, you know, your skills.” You say, and he laughs.
“Oh that’s- like comparing clams with mussels. It’s not the same- just looks similar. Like us!” He shrugs off. “I think you’re under-selling yourself. And even if you’re not a good swimmer- I could teach you!” He offers, making you look up from where you stand near the glass.
"I'm just.. still a bit scared." You admit. "You know, after all that happened. I don't think I could just.. forget that and just.." you sigh, and he gently bumps your shoulder.
"Hey.. no one's asking you to." He tells you. "It just might be a good chance to face your fears? And I'll always be right at your side. I have an underwater license after all!" He proudly reminds you, and you can't help but laugh.
“You really seem like you really want me to visit your planet.” You tease, though he clearly doesn’t take it as a joke- nodding with almost cute enthusiasm.
“Of course! You said you always wanted to- so why not do it while visiting a friend?” He proposes. “it’s safer than just going alone. You could get lost, or even hurt.” He tells you. “and you’d miss out on.. you know, the spots only locals know.” Jungkook says, before he looks as Noodle swims closer again to inspect something floating around.
“I mean, you’re right..” you mumble, watching the shark move around. “…but I don’t know. I don’t think I could.. really.. I’m still just human.” You tell him, and he nods.
“I’m aware.” He responds. “and my planet has already made many adjustments to accommodate humans in many areas. You seem to forget that my kind has been.. mixing with humans for a long time by now. “ He chuckles. “means we had to evolve too, and change some of our architecture and stuff to adapt to those changes.” He says.
He’s right. And, in a way, he’s a living example of that change- with his honestly surprisingly human appearance, minus the height difference, and the hardly visible stripes of his skin.
“so, if you’d like, I’d happily house you for your vacation on my planet.” He grins. “and we can see just how well you swim.” He teases, leaning down a bit towards you before you both leave the large hall containing the tank for his new pet-
And you feel like this won’t just be a vacation at all, considering that he’s made it clear that he’s found interest in you past just simply being friends.
And in a way, you don’t mind that one bit.
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fernlessbastard · 7 months
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So, what's the deal with this tnt duo art?
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I've explained it in my reblog of this post, but I've decided to copy this over to a brand new post as well, because especially with qsmp happening I'm sure we have many newer people here who don't get what's the deal with this piece
Ok so first off: the artist is _olga.exe_ on Instagram (I think also on twitter but i don't use Twitter so you'll have to check that one yourself)
To the best of my understanding this art just came out around June 2021, which was immediately after the first Revivedbur/Quackity interaction. The first two or so months the ship was exclusively seen as a crack ship - I'm not fully certain why, I think it's just that quackbur before wasn't all that known and popular, so it seemed like it came out of nowhere to the majority of the internet (which, it didn't, holy shit, those sluts have been so gay with each other for so long). It also was a time when most people only began realising that ccQuackity was capable of serious lore, which most likely added to how the ship was seen. Even I myself actually was very hesitant to bring it up to my partner, when I began slowly getting into it - of course while simultaneously deluding myself that it's nothing more than a crack ship for me (@octobre-ackedia oh would you look at how we ended up--).
This art was one of the first pieces that were fully serious, and couldn't be construed in any way shape or form as /p, so it got picked up by people on twitter and memed on. Around September 2021 tntblr began reclaiming it (and if I remember correctly we had a boom of posts sharing the original artist about that time).
In this surge of new people beginning to ship those two that's been happening for the past year or so, I need you all to remember that quackbur started off first as a very underground ship that almost no-one spoke of, and then became a crack ship. The header on my blog doesn't come from a "ha ha funny" self deprecating meme. #twquackburshipping was a tag that someone seriously used to tag a post about how Eret commented on some tntduo/r tiktok.
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I get how easy it is to forget how anti-mainstream of a ship quackbur used to be (or simply miss that, if you're newer - which, for the record, no shame, I'm happy to see the new faces!), considering ccQuackity's endorsement of it in the last months of dsmp, not to mention what's happening on qsmp, but all those "omg I'm a quackbur shipper ha ha don't hate me ha I'm cringe I know" jokes used to genuinely not be jokes something like 1,5 years ago.
I hope this explains it thoroughly, and to everyone a little bit newer to the ship: welcome! Glad to see you here, remember to have fun, and if you've got any questions, feel free to ask me :]]
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jishyucks · 8 months
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Groceries are Overrated — ldh
‣ pairing: supermarket worker!haechan x customer!reader
‣ genre: fluff, strangers-to-lovers?, sorta slice-of-life
‣ wc: 5.6k
‣ summary: After multiple encounters, you develop a crush on the boy working at your local supermarket. And who knows? Maybe the feeling is mutual.
‣ warnings?: nothing too bad I think!, mentions of hyuck breaking his pinky finger LMAO, jokes of plans to stalk/kidnap (false accusations)
‣ an: uhhhh tell me how I made an entire fic that’s set in a mf grocery store (˶x     x˶);; it genuinely was only supposed to be like 2k or less,, this is how u know that I romanticize EVERYTHING (sigh imagine how easy life would be if situations like these existed)
‣ taglist: @flowerjun @mosviqu
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Your roommate, Karina, had the knack of sending you out to the grocery store against your will. In fact, you couldn't even recall how many times it had occurred in the last month. It feels like you’ve dropped by the store every day on the way home and you’re beginning to think that the employees believe you’re crazy.
But, in all honesty, you couldn’t blame her. After all, no one could resist the taste of your cooking and baking.
So here you were, moving up and down the seemingly endless aisles of the store on a mission to locate cream of tartar for your meringue cookies. 
It was odd because you’d usually find the powder alongside the sugars and spices in a bag or container like salt and pepper. Today, it was nowhere to be found, not even the price tag stuck to the shelves that indicated that it was there, just not in stock.
You sigh and slowly make your way down the aisles, laying your eye on every single item sitting on the shelves. Other customers looked at you like you were crazy, occasionally stretching your neck or lowering yourself into a squatting position just to view the bottom shelves. But at this point, you honestly could not give two shits if you looked looney.
“Did you lose something?” A pair of feet appear in front of you in the middle of your squat. You freeze and look up to see an employee looking down at you. He looks like he’s trying not to laugh, “I’ve seen you go up and down the store like… a lot of times.” 
Your eyes widen and laugh sheepishly. Standing up, you shake your head, “Um, actually I was looking for the cream of tartar! I can’t… seem to find it.”
“In the cereal section?” 
Now that you’re up and standing, you get a better look of the worker in front of you and you recognize him as one of the newer employees of the store. You can only say this with full confidence because you’ve been acquainted with a majority of the staff and most, if not, all were older than forty. This employee, you would say, was around your age. You take a quick glance at his name tag and read it. 
Donghyuck.
“You never know!” You laugh again, this time wishing that the ground would just swallow you whole before the (actually really cute) boy could reply to you. How could you embarrass yourself like this?
Donghyuck lets out a short snort, “It’s in aisle six, you know, with the sugars and spices?” 
It takes you a second to realize that you’re currently in aisle 23. “I looked! I swear it wasn’t there!”
He grins, “Then let me take you.” 
The boy begins walking away from you and you trail not too far behind him. If Donghyuck miraculously brings you to the cream of tartar, you’re going to think that the universe is against you.
He walks about three paces in front of you, strides slightly longer than yours. Although you both did not know each other, you found it a bit awkward walking in silence. “Just a random thought but are you a new worker here?”
Donghyuck slows down and turns to look at you, playing off of your question, “What are you, the owner of this place?” 
“No,” You shake your head and laugh, “I just know a lot of the employees here because I go here a lot.” 
“Ah, makes sense,” Donghyuck hums, “I just started working here last week. My grandma works here and I needed extra money so she got me this job.” 
You make a sound of acknowledgment. This time, you decide to joke, “Ohhh, so you’re a nepo baby! So what do you do? Roam the aisles?” 
He gives you a look, but it’s quickly wiped off of his face when he goes to answer you, “I sorta do everything, so if you do go here a lot, you’ll be seeing me everywhere—ah, here we are.” Donghyuck shuffles over to the rows of spices and uses his finger to follow his place. 
“See, it’s not—”
“Found it!” Donghyuck bends down and snatches a bag of cream of tartar. Then, he turns to hand it over to you, the corners of his lips sitting high on his cheeks. 
“Thanks,” you say, unsure of how to end the interaction.
“You’re welcome,” Donghyuck nods, “Well, it was nice meeting you, loyal customer, but I have to go back to whatever I was doing. I’ll see you around!” Before you even get to bid him goodbye, Donghyuck spins on the balls of his feet and starts making his way back to the last aisles.
You’re left thinking how you actually hope to see more of him.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
It’s once in a blue moon that you go to the grocery store for a reason other than ingredients and food. Today, you’re set on finding a plant or two to liven up your apartment. The only problem was you genuinely did not know what plant best suited you and Karina.
You have your phone out, searching up the plant names you can barely read from the name tags. Being that you were in the garden centre of the store, the sun was beating down against your forehead and you’re really wishing that you can find some plants and leave so you can get back to your air-conditioned home. 
Your goal was to find a plant that could thrive without direct sunlight, given that your apartment didn’t receive sunlight all day, and one that might be a bit neglected due to yours and Karina’s busy schedules.
Francee Hosta. You read, a flowering perennial plant. Lavender blooms in the late Summer. Grows tall, 28 inches. Great for landscaping and can fill empty space well. Best in part to full shade.
“Good competitor,” you say under your breath. Mentally, you put a star on the plant and move on, hoping to gather as many options as you can. You’re not even halfway down the entirety of the garden centre so you’re fully confident that you’ll find one, but you just wish that it was actually easier finding the plant you wanted.
You move on, positioning yourself right beside the next plant you intend to research. It resembled a small aloe vera, only each ‘leaf’ was adorned with white stripes. From where you stood, the plant's name tag remained frustratingly out of sight, perched on top of the high racks. 
Letting out a frustrated groan, you stretch yourself as much as you can, reaching for the plant. Balancing on your tippy toes, you strain to touch the pot's glass edge, but it remains just out of your fingertips' reach. 
Before you can fully process the situation, a hand swiftly reaches for the same pot, snatching it away from you, “A zebra plant?”
Falling back on your heels, you turn to find Donghyuck holding the small plant in his hands, “Out of all the plants here, you want a zebra plant?” He holds it out for you to take, which you only do because you’re thrown off by his sudden appearance.
You completely ignore his question and ask him one of your own, “You again?” 
“Like I said, I do a bit of everything,” Donghyuck shrugs, “Wait, but I work here, I should be asking you that question.” 
“I’m trying to look for like two houseplants,” you say, “What’s the problem with zebra plants?” You frown at the poor plant in front of you, getting attacked for absolutely no reason.
“Nothing, there’s just way better ones than it,” Donghyuck snickers. 
You frown, “Well, since you seem to know more about plants than me, can you help me?” You turn to place the plant back. But when Donghyuck notices this, he quickly takes it out of your hands and places it back onto its spot. 
“Of course, of course,” he smiles. And just like a few days before, he starts leading you down the garden centre, eyeing the plants, “Well, what sort of plant are you looking for?”
You explain everything to him, “But I think I prefer smaller plants since my place has limited space.” 
He hums and files through his limited knowledge of plants, “I actually don’t know.”
“I thought you knew things about plants!” Your blink at him, mouth agape, “Why did you even ask me what I was looking for if you didn’t know what I was even talking about?”
Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “I do but because of the tags.” He reaches over and plucks out the name tags you’ve been using to do research on. Then he flips it around revealing a bulleted list of the plant’s features, “I was going to help you look for one.” 
How the hell did you not see the list in the first place?
“What the fuck,” you say, “That’s been there this whole time?”
“You’re telling me you haven’t been using these to pick the plants out!?” Donghyuck sucks his teeth and shakes his head as if he was disappointed in you. 
You defend yourself, huffing, “To be fair they’re not as visible as they should be.”
Donghyuck hums, “The more you know. How ‘bout I start over there and you continue from where I found you and we meet in the middle?”
You nod, “Sounds good to me.”
The two of you take about half an hour looking for plants, taking the job more seriously than it actually was. You could already predict that one out of the two plants may possibly be dead in two weeks, but it’s the thought that counts. 
“Okay,” Donghyuck approaches you with a plant in hand. Its leaves spill out of the pot, connected to the long, growing stems, “I think this one would be pretty. It’s one of those plants you can hang from the ceilings and it matches what you’re looking for.” 
You take the plant from him and hold it up, taking in its appearance, “I actually like it. I’ll take this one.” 
He nods and takes it back, “Did you find one?” 
You nod, too, showing him the plant you had chosen but sat on a nearby platform, “It looks like an average plant but it should do. Thanks for the help by the way.”
“It’s no problem,” Donghyuck shrugs, “This is the most boring position yet.”
The two of you start walking toward the entrance back into the actual store, passing by other customers, “Really? How many other positions have you worked?”
“This and the one from the other day,” Donghyuck snorts.
You’re genuinely surprised with how well you and Donghyuck can converse despite only meeting once before this. But you like to think it’s a skill you picked up from speaking to the other workers, “You’re kidding.”
“I’m really not,” he shakes his head, “Boring-est so far.” 
Once you two reach the entrance, he halts, “I’ll see you around?” Donghyuck realizes he’s still holding one of your plants and he gingerly hands it over to you. 
“You know it.”
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
Karina’s grip around your wrist is so tight that you feel the circulation failing to reach your fingertips. She’s dragging you down the sidewalk, walking at pace way too fast from your usual, “I promise you I’ll be quick. You can just sit at those benches at the front if you want.”
You groan, taking into account the fact that Karina’s begged one too many times to go to the grocery store with her, “Fine. But if you take longer than ten minutes, I’m leaving.” You can’t say no to your best friend completely, not when you know that her time of month’s coming up and she needs to stock up for her cravings and toiletries. 
“Wait, no! I need you to help me carry stuff,” Karina pouts. You both reach the front entrance and now she’s stopped, not ready to go in until she’s satisfied with a plan. 
You sigh, but in a loving way, almost as if you were a mom giving in to her kid’s wants, “Fine. I’ll wait for you.”
She lights up and claps, “Great! Okay you can sit and just wait until I’m about to go for cash.”
You nod, watching her jog in and leaving you to dawdle in not long after. 
“Hello! Good afternoon!”
It was almost a jumpscare hearing that voice, not expecting it to be the first thing you would encounter walking in. Usually the greeter was an older man who was working part-time despite retiring from his old job, but today, it was the very same boy you’ve run into during your two previous visits.
“A greeter?” You snort. 
Donghyuck puts his arms up in defense, “I told you I did everything.”
“Yeah but I didn’t think greeter would be part of that list.” Suddenly, you forget about your desire to sit at the metal bench by the bathrooms.
“Me neither, but here I am,” he shrugs, “What are you doing here?” The question was odd because it’s one you wouldn’t normally ask customers at a supermarket, but Donghyuck thinks it’s perfectly okay to ask you the question because it was your third time that week going to the store.
“My roommate needs things,” you say simply, “Is this position better than the plants?”
“I get to stand here and do basically nothing,” Donghyuck nods, eyes widening, “I get why Mr. June likes it.” 
“Where is he anyway?” You question.
Shrugging, Donghyuck leans against the high counter he was standing behind, “Personal day or something? I’m not too sure.” 
You hum, “Well at least he’s getting the break he needs.”
There’s a brief silence before Donghyuck gasps, brows escalating to the top of his forehead, “I just remembered!”
“Remembered what?” You don’t recall anything that you and Donghyuck have spoken about. 
“This is… weird? But I’ve never asked you for your name,” Donghyuck points out. It’s just now that you realized that he actually hasn’t asked for your name. You both just started speaking to each other as if you knew each other, so introducing yourself never even crossed your mind, “I mean… I think you know mine because of my name tag, but I don’t know yours.”
You narrow your eyes at him, “What if this is some ploy for you to stalk me?” You playfully take a step back and eye him down, “And what if your name isn’t really Donghyuck?”
“I’m not gonna stalk you,” Donghyuck he whines, “And my name really is Donghyuck! You can ask my grandma!”
You let out a laugh and sigh, “I know, I was joking. My name’s Y/N.” 
Before Donghyuck can process everything, he gasps, “Are you the Y/N grandma talks about?” He brings his hand up to his head and runs his hand through his hair, “The Y/N that had to bake for practically an entire village of people?”
“So your Grandma is Mrs. Lee?” You don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that your heart warms up at the fact that Donghyuck was related to Mrs. Lee, who was probably the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. 
You think it was good because Donghyuck seemed to be close to his grandma, enough for her to get him a job and enough for him to know stories from work���it could really reflect the kind of person Donghyuck was. But now, thinking it through, it could be bad because there was no way you were developing a small crush on a boy you’ve only met twice before today. 
“That’s her,” He nods and allows for a child-like smile to surface on his face, “She’s the best right?”
You almost let out an audible ‘aww’ because of the way you can tell that he was probably a grandma’s boy. You nod, “She is. I should’ve put two and two together.”
His head tilts to the side, “What do you mean?”
“When she’s on cash, she talks about her grandson being a ray of sunshine,” you say. For some reason you suddenly feel shy as you speak to Donghyuck, “She says ‘I just know Hyuckie is going to be such a great man one day!’ I don’t know why it didn’t click that Hyuckie comes from Donghyuck.” 
Donghyuck blushes at the nickname, attempting to use his bangs to hide, “So she talks about me too?” You nod. “I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”
“She hasn’t said anything super embarrassing,” you tease, “The worst one was probably how you were in a rush to get home after an exam just to play video games and you cried cause you broke you broke your pinky. I found it funny but it wasn’t too bad.” 
Donghyuck’s jaw drops in the slightest, “She told you about that?” 
You nod and giggle, “Can I see your pinky?”
“Sorry I don’t usually show it on first dates,” Donghyuck peeks at you at the corner of his eyes and smirks. 
You facepalm, “That sounds so wrong.” You want to laugh but you hold it back, not wanting to give Donghyuck the satisfaction.
“Lee Donghyuck, are you doing your job?” From your right, the voice of Mrs. Lee calls out to her grandson, a delightful blend of playfulness and a touch of seriousness. 
Following the direction, you greet Mrs. Lee with a bow, waving at her before turning back to Donghyuck with hands to your hips, “Yeah, Donghyuck, are you doing your job?”
“Y/N’s distracting me!” He responds in a childlike manner, and Mrs. Lee simply shakes her head in response, a faint smile gracing her lips. As she turns away, you spot Karina waddling down from a cash register with four bags filled to the brim with different things. 
“Y/N!” She calls. She uses her head to gesture to the bags. By this time, she’s standing by the exit, setting two bags down at her feet for you to carry. 
“I have to go,” you say to Donghyuck, “I’ll probably see you the next time I come here, right?”
He nods, “It’s likely.”
“Well, see you Donghyuck!” you turn and wave, “Or should I say, Hyuckie.”
Rolling his eyes, he waves back before quickly flipping you off, but instead of his middle finger, it’s his pinky. You respond with a good-natured shake of your head, gathering the bags in front of you. With a nod to Karina, the two of you make your way out, leaving the lighthearted scene behind. 
“Bye, Y/N.” 
It’s good to finally have a name to your face.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
True to Karina’s suspicions, her period started the day after her cravings. 
And when Karina gets her period, she gets sick. And when she gets sick, you take this as your cue to go to the grocery store to gather ingredients for the special stomach-hugging soup your mom taught you to cook growing up. It was something that you both looked forward to every month despite Karina not being at her best condition.
The produce today wasn’t up to par as it usually was. All were stacked rather messily, making it difficult for you to filter through the veggies. You’re only surprised because in the amount of times you’ve gone to the supermarket, there has not been one day that it organized this poorly. 
“This is like your… fourth time in the last ten days or something?” The voice sounds from behind you, “Just tell me you miss me and go.” 
You turn to see Donghyuck with a cart of banana-filled boxes and it all suddenly makes sense to you, “Why would I miss you?” You turn your attention back to the bok choy sitting to your right and rummage through the pre-filled bags.
“It happens more than you think,” he shrugs, “Reason this time?”
You find a bag that seems pretty good and you plop it into your basket, “My roommate’s sick so I’m making her soup.” 
“Mmm,” Donghyuck hums, “The weather lately has been making me crave hot pot, so soup sounds so good right now.”
“Now you’re making me crave it,” You feel your mouth water at the thought of hot pot on this cool, rainy afternoon and sigh, “But I think my soup’s better than hot pot. Any. Day.”
He scoffs, “I don’t believe you. Nothing can beat hot pot nowadays. Not even kimchi jjigae.” Donghyuck pushes and pulls at the banana cart as if it were a baby in a stroller, “Thank you.”
Your brows furrow, “For what?”
“Now I know what I’m eating for dinner later.” His grin forms a taut line, “Hot pot.” 
You begin making your way to the potatoes, grabbing those thin plastic bags on the way. To your surprise, Donghyuck follows you. You look at him, “Are you sure you aren’t the one who misses me?” “You wish,” he laughs, “I just need to stand still just for one minute at least. Produce clerk has to be the worst. But I do like talking to you.” Donghyuck shifts back and forth on his feet, “Anyway, what is this soup you’re making?” “See you do miss me!” You pick out three decently-sized potatoes and gently drop them into your bag, “It’s a family recipe and it doesn’t really have a name to it. We just call it stomach-hugging soup.”
“There’s a clear difference between me missing you and me liking talking to you,” Donghyuck grumbles, “We barely know each other but it’s just so easy talking to you. That’s why.” The way he nonchalantly says this takes you aback but you try to play it off, this time moving on to some nearby taro roots. 
“Whatever you say, Hyuckie,” you retort. Though he was right. It’s never been this easy for you to talk to someone, better yet, a boy. 
“Hey! That nickname is reserved for special people only!” 
“I’m a special person, aren’t I?” you joke, but quickly wave it off, “Don’t worry, I won’t call you that if you don’t want me to.” 
Repeating your steps from both the bok choy and the potatoes, Donghyuck watches you quietly with a smile that’s so gentle that it would lull a newborn to sleep. You don’t notice this, though, because your mind is distracted by how ungodly big the taro roots are.
“I need to… get back to stacking these bananas but,” Donghycuk gulps, “It would be cool if I could taste this special soup one day.”
You turn to him, and smile, eyes bright at the idea, “Of course. One day.”
He waves and saunters down toward the front of the produce section.
Once he’s gone, you try to make sense as to what Donghyuck was trying to imply. Friends outside of this weird new relationship you both have? Something more than that? You’re not too sure of anything and there was no way you were jumping to conclusions.
Before your thoughts start to eat at you, you shake your head to rid of them all, and along with it, the idea of the small lingering crush (that’s truly starting to develop) on this boy.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
It isn’t until one week later that you return to the supermarket. The reason this time was that you and Karina were truly out of groceries for once (which honestly was not surprising). 
It would be a terrible lie if you said you hadn’t thought of Donghyuck at least once within the last week, wondering how he was doing while constantly being put into different positions at work. You hoped that he wasn’t put onto the floor as a produce clerk like he had been the last time you saw him, both for his sake and for the sake of the store. 
It was late at night when you finally found the time to visit the store, much later than your usual trips. By this hour, the store had bid farewell to the bustling moms and their screaming children, leaving only adults who had dropped by after school or work, much like yourself.
It would also be a terrible lie if you said you weren’t wondering if Donghyuck was here today. 
You grab a rolling basket on the way in, greeting Mr. June when you pass him at the front. You go down the store aisle by aisle while grabbing everything you’ve listed down in your mental list. Occasionally, you brought your phone out to look if you’ve missed any of Karina needed, a screenshot of her text appearing last in your photos. 
You spend an hour or two going through the list, part of which was you comparing two different products to see which one would help you save money. 
Your third terrible lie of the night would be if you said you weren’t jerking your head toward any other person who entered the aisle hoping it would be Donghyuck. 
It was so stupid because this very boy only found out what your name was not too long ago. You’ve only met this boy four other times. And you barely knew anything about him except for the small tidbits you picked up through conversations with him or with Mrs. Lee. 
And this leads you to your fourth (and hopefully, last) terrible lie of the night—that you weren’t disappointed when you didn’t run into Donghyuck during your time at the store. 
You sigh as you load your things onto the conveyor belt, sorting them with pairs or other like things so it would be easier for you to carry everything. In your head, you’re already planning out how you were supposed to carry everything on your own. You’ve done it before, so you can (while harnessing the power of the universe) do it again. 
“This is a lot of stuff.”
You freeze at the voice and you finally look up, finding that Donghyuck was, in fact, your cashier. 
He immediately reads the shock in your facial expression and snorts, “Everything, remember? How’s your night doing?” Donghyuck starts scanning your items, sliding them from one side to the other.
You shrug, “Tiring… Do your shifts usually go ‘til this hour?” 
Donghyuck shakes his head, “Not typically, but I’m filling in for someone today. One of the other employees got sick so I stepped up like the good person I am.” He flashes a proud expression, and you can't help but chuckle at his confidence, “Anyways, where do you live?”
“What?” you laugh nervously, “I swear you suck at hiding your intentions of stalking me.” 
Donghyuck quickly takes back his question, realizing that he worded it all wrong and it being taken out of context was not good look at all. “No no! It’s not that, but…” How can he put this in a non-stalkery way? “My shift is almost done… you have a lot of things to carry… I would like to walk you home?” He cringes at the way it comes out as a question but it’s too late now. 
“Okay, if you’re not going to stalk me,” you think, “What if you kidnap me?”
"I promise, no kidnapping plans here," Donghyuck replies with a playful grin. "I'm a certified good guy, I swear!" Unbeknownst to you, he intentionally slows down his scanning, making sure that he has more time to chat with you (just in case you didn’t agree to his proposal). It's been a week since he last saw you, and this supermarket seems to be the only place where you both get a chance to talk. Besides, there was no one else in line.
There’s this very feeling in your chest that’s practically yelling at you to trust him, so you do, “It’s about two blocks down. It’s not too far, it’s a good eight minute walk.”
“I’ll meet you at the front then?” 
Not even ten minutes later, Donghyuck meets you right where he suggested. He isn’t wearing the vest the employees wore as uniforms. Instead, he’s thrown on a dark hoodie. He picks up your bags, “Let me take those for you~” 
“Didn’t see you coming,” you say, “I can carry one, you know.” You can't deny feeling a hint of nervousness. This marked the first time you were going to interact with Donghyuck beyond the supermarket setting. It's hard not to wonder if your dynamic is shifting from a mere employee-customer relationship to something more meaningful—even if it was just a friendship.
“It’s okay, I insist,” Donghyuck smiles, “Let’s go! Lead the way.”
You stand up and you lead him out the door. You begin taking your route home and Donghyuck quickens his steps to keep up with you, “So, what you’ve been up to the past week?”
A pleasant breeze blows past you both and you turn your head to reply to him just as you’re stopped at a red light, “I’ve just been busy with school and some other responsibilities. I only found time to go to the store after school today.”
“Ah, your load must be heavier than mine,” Donghyuck makes a sound of recognition, “I only have morning classes and then I’m free for the day.” 
“You’re lucky,” you laugh, “Mine usually runs the whole day because my faculty’s suckass at scheduling… but it is what it is, I guess.”
The light switches and you’re both allowed to cross. There are only a few cars waiting to go, which emphasizes how late in the night it actually is. “Well at least you’re holding up,” Donghyuck grins, “You still have time for cooking and what not.”
You nod, “That’s true, you’re right.” 
The conversation between you two unfolds with familiar ease, similar to your convos at the supermarket. Donghyuck brings up Mrs. Lee, questioning about how you came to know his grandmother. You share your story with him, detailing the moments and conversations that led to your connection.
“Are you close with your grandma?” You ask out of curiosity.
“She practically raised me because my parents were mostly out at work,” Donghyuck explains, “Now that she’s a little bit older, I still go over to her place and help around the house. She’s at retirement age, but she likes being busy. So I let her be busy at work and tell her to relax when she’s at home.”
Your heart swells at Donghyuck’s relationship with Mrs. Lee and a slight surge of emotion wells up within you. It really wasn’t helping with the crush you were trying to conceal, not when Donghyuck seemed like a genuinely great guy. 
“I think that’s really sweet of you.” You feel the corners of your mouth rise to your cheekbones, “I bet she appreciates it. She seems to really love you, so there’s no doubt that she does.” 
You finally reach your place and Donghyuck realizes this when you slow to a halt. He can't help but feel a tinge of disappointment that your place isn't farther from the store. Nevertheless, he holds onto the hope that he'll have more opportunities to walk you home in the future. 
You retrieve your bags from his hands and you don’t notice the way his breath hitches at your proximity. “Thanks for walking me home and carrying my bags. Are you fine getting home?” 
Donghyuck nods, “I actually live pretty close, believe it or not, so don’t worry about me. I’ll see you around?” It seems like this was something you’ve been saying to each other a lot.
“Of course and thank you again,” you say, “Goodnight, Donghyuck.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
As you begin to turn away, Donghyuck's gaze lingers on you. Despite it not being your last encounter with him, in that moment, a sense of urgency washes over him, realizing that this might be a pivotal moment. It feels like this decision could only be made now or never.
“Wait!” He calls out. It comes out embarrassingly louder than intended. He swears he could hear his voice echo down the street. 
You pause and turn to face Donghyuck, looking back at him curiously, "Yeah?" There are so many thoughts running through your head, only you couldn’t pick them out for the life of you. 
Donghyuck starts jogging to catch up with you, his footsteps rhythmically hitting the pavement. "I... actually have a question," he says, his voice slightly breathless. "It's been on my mind for the past week."
You meet his gaze with an expectant look, raising your eyebrows and giving a nod, encouraging him to continue.
“This sounds weird but,” his palm finds the nape of his neck and he’s suddenly (extremely) nervous to even be standing in front of you, “I think I like you… and I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date some…time? It’s okay if no, but I just figured that since we get along well that it was worth try—”
“I would love to.” 
“Wait, really?”
“Yes, really,” you retort, giggling under your breath, “I’m actually kinda relieved you made the first move.”
A rush of excitement surges through Donghyuck, and he's almost overwhelmed with the urge to jump for joy, “I’ll plan something out and let you know, if that’s okay? I didn’t think I would actually get this far.” He feels his cheeks heat up out of embarrassment.
“Take your time,” you snort, “I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“Okay! I promise you I will not disappoint!” he exclaims, “Goodnight, Y/N. For real this time.” 
You offer a wordless response, shuffling closer to Donghyuck before rising onto your toes to plant a gentle peck on his cheek.
“Goodnight, Donghyuck.”
(And you best know Donghyuck went home that night skipping, excited to tell his grandma everything the next day.) 
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
Thank you for reading! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.゚ Pls support my fic by liking/rbing (whatever you're most comfortable with!)
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vivwritesfics · 8 days
Text
Jester Stole His Thorny Crown
Chapter Five
He never had a choice in his life. His dreams were nothing more that that. Dreams. But then he met a lounge singer at his brother club and everything changed.
Mafia!Au
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Series Masterlist
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Her favourite days were the days that Arthur came to visit. She made him a drink as he sat at the bar, and leaned against it. "He didn't tell you he was getting lessons?" She asked as Arthur sipped his drink.
As soon as he put it in the bar, she took it from him and sipped. "You think Charles would tell me anything like that?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know him well enough to judge," she mumbled, letting her head fall into her hands. "Honestly, 'Thur, I don't think I want to get to know him well enough."
Arthur offered her a weak smile. "He'll get better, I promise," Arthur said, his fingers reaching out to touch her arm.
He pulled away and stood from the bar. "I've got to go," he said as he stretched.
"Work?" He nodded grimly and she walked around the bar to throw her arms around him. "Try to come back alive, okay?"
Arthur hugged her back. "I'll try."
He took his leave, walking out of the lounge and meeting his brother outside. Charles had refused to come in and now Arthur knew why. He was embarrassed.
When Arthur saw him, he wordlessly climbed into the car.
Back in the club, she walked over to the piano and sat herself down. She didn't play, not yet, instead letting her head fall into her hands.
This life wasn't the one she had envisioned for herself. Even when she was begging her mother to get her piano lessons, she never thought she'd be playing it for her career. She never thought she'd be performing almost every night in a lounge bar.
She never thought that lounge bar would be bought by a member of the Leclerc family.
She had moved to Monaco with the money her parents had left her after they had died. The lounge was supposed to be a temporary job, something to help her pay rent until she found her dream job, whatever that might have been.
Within the four weeks that she had been working at the lounge, it changed ownership. The young, cute guy came in and changed everything.
He redecorated, put in a newer, modern bar, new tables and lighting, and put in a new stage. He got rid of the stage and put in a brand new one, with these fancy lights.
Most of the performers were let go. Actually, every performer but her was let go. She didn't know why Arthur kept her on, but she was incredibly grateful.
She didn't know who Arthur was, didn't know who the Leclerc family was when she first started. Arthur didn't tell her right away. He waited until they were less boss and employee and more friends. When he told her, she didn't judge him. He had proven himself to be lovely and wonderful and she doubted he could hurt a fly.
But Arthur told her almost everything. Before she knew it, it had gone too far, and she knew more than she should have. There was no way she could have gotten out if she wanted to.
Until meeting Charles, Arthur was the only member of the Leclerc family that she really knew. After all he told her, she took time to research them. She found out that Lorenzo was the head of the family. He ran Monaco while trying to make his deceased father proud.
Charles was the ruthless, angry middle child. That was all she knew about him. Anybody who really, truly, knew what he did, well, they had a bullet in their heads.
Arthur was the protected little brother. He'd been on one job before, as far as she knew, and that was when he ended up with a bullet in his arm.
She couldn't help but be worried for her best friend when he left the lounge.
***
"Where are we?"
Arthur looked around at the surroundings as Charles put his car into park. The parking lot was empty, the Verstappen family nowhere to be seen. "We're headed there soon," Charles said. "I... I need to talk to you about something."
He'd never acted like this before. Arthur had never seen his brother, the brother that struck fear into the hearts of anyone that looked at him. "Are you dying?"
Charles glared. "Shut the fuck up. This is serious."
Arthur swallowed.
"Your pianist. How did you get her to like you?"
He let out a laugh as his brother's face went red. When Arthur had first introduced them, in a sense, he had a feeling that they would get along or that Charles would like her. It was a small feeling, and he certainly hadn't expected to be right.
"I can't believe this," she said. "I can't believe it. You have a crush on her! You actually have a crush on her!"
Charles's nostrils flared. "Shut up, I'm not a child," he growled.
Even Arthur was scared enough of his brother that he fell quiet. "I was just nice too her, okay? I didn't flash my guns and I didn't terrify her."
Charles simply grunted. He drove away once again, not speaking a word to his brother. The silence in the car was palpable. Arthur was almost too scared to breathe.
They got to the place where they were meeting the Verstappens. Max leaned against the car while Jos still sat inside. When Charles parked his Ferrari, he pushed away from the car and approached.
Charles and Arthur climbed out of the car. The older Leclerc took the hand that Max was offering him and shook. "Good to see you, mate," he said.
But he looked past Max, looking at Jos in his car. "Is he coming out or..."
"You got somewhere you wanna be, Leclerc?" Max asked with something of a giggle. But it wasn't a proper giggle, because future mafia bosses didn't giggle.
There was a minute where Jos didn't move. He stayed sitting in his car, looking forward. Charles often thought that, anybody who thought him to be terrifying clearly hadn't met Jos Verstappen.
When Jos climbed out of the car, Max returned to his fathers side and the meeting began.
It was the weirdest meeting Charles had ever attended. It was unclear whether Jos wanted to get out of Monaco or to kill them. He was angry, always angry, and he answered in mostly grunts.
Max did most of the talking. Charles walked them around, showed them what they needed to see in their warehouses. He wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible. He had a piano lesson to get to.
When they finally returned to the cars, Jos finally spoke up. "I thought I was to be meeting with Lorenzo," he said.
Arthur went to step forward, but Charles kept him behind. "Sorry, Verstappen, but Lorenzo had things he had to attend to." It wasn't a great excuse, but it was all Charles had. He had no idea what Lorenzo was doing, but he wasn't going to let Verstappen bully his way into a meeting with the head of the family.
Verstappen let out a breath. Wordlessly he climbed into his car. Before the door could shut, he snapped his fingers at Max, who climbed in after him.
Charles and Arthur waited until the Verstappen car had disappeared into the distance until they climbed into Charles' Ferrari. "I'm dropping you at maman's," he said.
"Why? Because it's close to the lounge?"
Charles didn't answer. He only sped up, driving expertly around other cars. When he got to their mothers apartment building, Charles quickly parked and gave Arthur five seconds to get out.
As soon as those five seconds were up he was speeding away again, heading to the lounge. There was maybe an hour before it opened for the night; he figured there was enough time for a lesson.
As he opened the door to the lounge, she was closing the lid of the piano. But, when she saw him, she stopped. "Mr Leclerc," she called. "Charles."
He opened his jacket, revealing no guns. "I come in peace," he called. "I thought we could have a piano lesson."
She nodded her head and he climbed onto the stage. He stripped off his jacket and sat beside her. "You you wanna try something a little more complicated?"
Charles copied her every note. For forty minutes he played at his best. She wouldn't admit she was impressed, she wasn't ready for that much conversation.
But, twenty minutes before the lounge was supposed to open, she stood up. "I'm really sorry, Charles, but we're gonna have to finish. I need to get dinner before we open."
Charles nodded, understanding. He stayed sitting at the piano for a minute more, still playing as she grabbed her jacket and went running out of the lounge. Charles wasn't going anywhere. He was going to stay and watch her performance.
When the rest of the staff started filing into the lounge, Charles stood from the piano. He wandered into the back office and took a seat at the desk. Arthurs desk. In front of him was a schedule.
It wasn't the staff schedule, but a schedule of the performers. And, for every night, there was one name on it.
Suddenly she was running into office. When she saw Charles, she stopped. "Charles I really need to get ready to go on stage."
"Arthur hasn't given you a night off."
"Well, who else do you think is going to perform here," she said as she pulled a black dress from her bag.
Charles clicked his knuckles as he stood up. He was going to have words with Arthur.
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literaticat · 3 months
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 If your book earns out (eventually)that's good for the author and publisher, right? Why is there a big stress on preorders, first week sales and what a book does right out of the gate? Shouldn't publishers wait a year before they make a final determination to a books success? Especially with things like TikTok that can help bolster sales out of nowhere. It seems like there's so much pressure on authors for success straight away. Do publishers just want their investment back ASAP?
I don't know how you got your question to be in bold? ANYway, since there are like 30 questions in here I'm just going to take them bird by bird.
If your book earns out (eventually) that's good for the author and publisher, right? Yes, of course.
Why is there a big stress on preorders, first week sales and what a book does right out of the gate? Well, for several reasons:
-- A book with a ton of pre-orders feels "exciting" -- if you owned a bookstore, and you had ordered two copies of GREATBOOK initially to come in -- but then 30 people pre-ordered it from you -- you'd probably strongly consider ordering EXTRA copies, right? That seems like an indication that people really are interested in this book, you should have a pile of them, not just two! You should put it on display!
-- A book with a ton of pre-orders and first-week sales has a much better chance to hit a bestseller list (specifically, the NYT bestseller list). Why? Let's say your author started asking people to pre-order six months ago and those orders have been stacking up in dribs and drabs. But that book doesn't go on sale until January 15th. ALL SIX MONTHS of pre-orders are going to get rung up on release day. The NYT is based on books sold during one week's time compared to all other books sold during that one week. Obviously, a book with a ton of pre-orders will get a big boost that week!
-- Books that hit the list get more visibility, they get people hooting about them on social media, they get to be called "NYT Bestselling" which seems fancy, ALL of that can very much help sales going forward. Is it the be-all-end-all? No, of course not. But there's no doubt that it's NICE!
-- The majority of publisher-led publicity and marketing efforts are focused on before or soon after release date -- getting gatekeepers like booksellers, librarians, etc whatever interested in ordering the book into their stores and libraries, getting reviews, pitching the book to media outlets, etc -- so IF those efforts are going to help a book, you're more likely to get that boost when the book is new. After several months have gone by, a thousand newer books have come out, focus has shifted to those books.
Shouldn't publishers wait a year before they make a final determination to a books success?
I mean - I think they do? These things are not mutually exclusive. Of course they'd like to have a lot of success right out of the gate. Obviously, they'd be delighted to have a lot of success later, as well. Plenty of books grow in sales as time goes on, etc -- I don't think anyone is deeming a book a failure if the book doesn't hit it out of the park immediately. I can't speak for adult books, but on the kid's side, we don't really know what kind of longevity a book might have for probably at least a year, because there needs to be time for books to make their way onto state lists, into curriculum, and stuff like that -- for teachers to read it to classrooms, for kids to get hooked and tell friends, etc etc. Once a book is out in paperback and really getting imbedded into schools, we might see BONKERS sales that could never have been predicted from a sluggish start in bookstores a year or two earlier. Publishers are well aware of this -- books are not going out of print in the first year after release.
Especially with things like TikTok that can help bolster sales out of nowhere. It seems like there's so much pressure on authors for success straight away.
Yep, there are plenty of examples of books that have surprising late-in-life success bc of TikTok (or whatever) -- HOWEVER, the difference is, the publisher and author have little to no control over a book suddenly going viral "outta nowhere"! IT'S AMAZING AND GREAT when that happens, we can all wish for it and hope for it -- but it feels kind of out of our hands -- whereas things like pre-orders, getting blurbs, yadda yadda, are at least things that the publisher and author have a MODICUM of control over. They can't MAKE people pre-order, but they can TRY at least!
Do publishers just want their investment back ASAP?
That would be great, sure. But profit margins are slim, and many books never earn out. Publishers know that they are probably going to just break even on a lot of books, and lose money on some, and have big hits with a few. I don't think anyone is expecting every book to have massive pre-orders or huge initial sales or whatever else.
Further: Most of this "pressure" is coming from the authors themselves. Like, the call is coming from inside the house. I've NEVER heard a publisher insist that an author do some enormous pre-order campaign or hit social media relentlessly for months -- actually it's more likely that a publisher in the year of our lord 2024 will say that they don't really think a massive pre-order campaign is worth the effort. I've NEVER heard a publisher say that anything in particular rides on first week sales, or insist that a book must hit a bestseller list. Of course they are hoping for it, it would be great! But it would be foolish for them to say that it WILL or MUST happen, and if it doesn't, it doesn't diminish the author or their efforts in any way. Obviously when award-time comes, publishers AND authors are likely crossing their fingers that a book will get a big shiny medal, and they might be a little disappointed if their book doesn't get one (especially if armchair experts online were predicting that it might) -- but I've NEVER heard a publisher put pressure on an author about that kind of thing, either, if anything, the opposite.
Publishers are, in fact, much more likely to be trying to temper outsize author expectations, rather than stoking them. There might be a few outliers -- huge-name authors where everyone really does expect instant NYT success and glory, so if it doesn't happen for some reason, there's some disappointment all around - but truly? That level of expectation is quite rare, and if you happen to be in that echelon, you probably aren't asking questions like this on Tumblr, you're busy swanning around the Isle of Capri or something. And actually you probably don't feel PRESSURE to hit the list in that case anyway -- you just expect you will as that is normal for you. Bless.
Regular authors? Which is 99% of the authors reading this post? You can go ahead and calm down. We love you regardless of your pre-orders or initial sales. If you feel "enormous pressure" for "instant success" -- really take a look at where that pressure is coming from. Because it's probably not from agents or publishers, who know from long experience that almost no success is "instant" by any stretch of the imagination.
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the-happy-man · 1 year
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“Let’s all just take a moment to soak this in. We’re all here this afternoon because for the first time ever, humanity has changed the orbit of a planetary body.”
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sleepyconfusedpotato · 5 months
Text
🚬🦇 Some Vampire!Price AU Lore🦇🚬
Bonus Mummy!Gaz at the end 👁️👄👁️
Wrote this from morning until night before I sleep. I've got too much brainrot to just let it stay in my head. It has around 4k words so enjoy!
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---
John Cristopher Price was born a human in 1286 in England. Coming from a lord status, He was an honorable knight through and through, loved dearly by his subordinates and of course by the king himself, Edward I.
Price died in the battlefield against the Scots when an arrow pierced through his heart. A former vampire saw his fortitude throughout his life, and made him drink her blood, and he rose as a human no more, but a blood-hungry vampire.
No amount of weapons could kill him -- pierced, stabbed, crushed, he always comes back. His thirst for blood couldn't seem to be controlled. He could see the blood flowing through every human he saw until one night, he unconsciously controlled his wife's blood, stopping her heart, and drinking her dry.
Ever since then, the people saw him as a monster, a demonic being that would end humanity. They demanded his head and even tried to burn him alive, yet the sharpest swords by the finest blacksmiths couldn't cut his neck, and no hellfire could burn him.
Not being able to live past his mistake of murdering his own wife, Price eventually escaped and lived in solitary, roaming around the British isle.
He lived through generations, learning how to live like a human. He pushed through the churn in his stomach as he tried to eat animals and vegetables, drinking water and tea even though his tastebuds only knew bitterness. Eventually, Price earned total control of his body, finding the sweetness inside the bitterness, and regulating his own stomach acid so the food he consumes stays down.
He came back to society during the 1500s when England was under the rule of Elizabeth I. He became a farmer, earning connections and new friends, all the while trying to find his place in the middle of humanity.
Price couldn't seem to stay away from the battlefield though, as when he defended his lord's land from armed mercenaries who sought for his lord's demise, one of the Queen's people saw his potential to be one of her loyal knights in her conflict with Mary of Scots. He went overseas to Spain, France, and even Russia for her, personally knowing Elizabeth until her death.
As one of Elizabeth I's subordinates, He became a knight for the rest of the House of Stuart monarchs. After that though, his age became a suspicion among the knights, so he pretended to die in one of the battles and went back to live in solitude.
For hundreds of years he lived in a cycle. Showing up out of nowhere in the city, become a soldier, sneakily drinking the blood of his enemies when his friends’ eyes were averted, and when the people around him started to notice his unaging face or when they saw him not dying from swords, he’d flee the city for one or two generations, and then coming back again to become a soldier.
Centuries passed. Newer and deadlier weapons were invented. Of course he tried the weapons on himself, but none of them managed to send him to the afterlife.
The cycles kept going, but just as he thought he had conquered this vampire body of his, something dreadful happened.
During the height of World War I, he was one of the soldiers who were deployed to No Man’s Land. After spending weeks and even a month inside the trenches, his thirst for human blood became unbearable and started to take control of his consciousness. Despite trying to fight the urge, all he saw when he walked by his fellow soldiers and superiors was each and every pump of their bloods moving inside the veins.
One night, his thirst grew out of his control, and he attacked one of his own fellow soldiers in his sleep – his own best friend. His friend screamed as he sunk his fangs into his neck, unable to fight Price’s monstrous strength. The other soldiers inside the trench heard the terrifying scream and saw Price in his most horrid state – bright red eyes filled with nothing but insanity, fangs deep inside a fellow soldier’s neck with blood running down his chin.
As his friend’s body fell to the ground, his consciousness returned and he saw what he had done. The allied soldiers started to rain down bullets upon him, fearing that the devil himself had come up to earth, yet none of them managed to pierce him. No kind of bullet was able to go pass through his skin, and no matter how much he shouted, more explanations would only make them more terrified.
And so, in the middle of the chaos, Price used his power to control the flow of blood of every single soldier with a gun in their hands, rendering them immobile against their will. He couldn’t say anything at that point. No amount of apology would bring his friend back, and no amount of explanation would stop them from fearing him. In his sorrow, Price climbed the trenches, welcoming all the incoming bullets from the enemies with open arms, hoping to end this curse of his. Of course, it could not kill him, an eternal vampire.
With nowhere to go, Price stormed the Axis’ side of the trenches on his own, attacking the enemies, drinking the blood of anyone he could sink his teeth to. The more blood he consumed, the more powerful his control over the blood of the people around him. At that point, his body was the fullest he’s ever been with human blood.
In his most powerful state, Price stopped the heart of every enemy in his sight, instantly killing them. As fear and chaos wreaked around the enemies’ trench, the Allied’s forces started their march, only to find Price nowhere to be seen.
After that tragedy, Price lived in solitude for years, hiding in the woods and mountains, swearing to himself that he’d never consume human blood ever again, even if it belongs to his enemies. He lived in the moutains, away from civilizations, hunting for animals to live.
That is, until in 1940, Price met Sir David Stirling, a British Army officer from Scotland who had been searching for the legendary “Devil of The Trenches”. Price was initially extremely apprehensive of his intentions considering how he literally trailed a mountain to search for a legendary being – a dangerous one at that. However, when Stirling told him that he’s aware of his powers and that he's in need of special people for his mission in North Africa, Price finally relented and joined him to his first operation after the World War I tragedy.
Price fought in World War II with David and other soldiers under the name Special Air Service, "L" detachment. He became one of the key figures of winning countless battles in the North African Campaign without people noticing his powers, thanks to David’s clever ways of hiding his power and authorities as a military officer, even freeing David and the others when they were captured and became a prisoner of war. Price’s existence quickly turned into a legend, and as time went on, his powers and abilities became a highly classified information in an already secretive corps, securing his identity and even his livelihood.
Price joined the major battles that the SAS had involved themselves in, even becoming an instructor among the British Army, sharing his vast knowledge of warfares that he’s earned from experience. He currently lives in his own house in London, living among humans as a regular person, owning a calico cat named Greg.
After his mission in Urzikstan, Price expressed his proposition to Laswell about creating a task force consisting of people with special powers and abilities, who could easily and efficiently finish the missions with little to no complications, all from the depth of shadows.
---
You've read this far, holy shit. Have a bonus story!
BONUS : Mummy!Gaz ⚰️🧢
Throughout his career, Price had found more and more people with special powers and abilities, like the big brooding man who could travel along the darkness and disappear like a smoke, a young Scotsman who had an animalistic trait and happened to be an exhibitionist, and… A bloodless person,
Who happened to be far, far older than him.
Price found his grave, or rather, his sarcophagus in Egypt back when he fought in World War II during the North African campaign.
Price, together with David Stirling and the first members of the SAS were intercepting the Axis troops' railways and supply dumps, when he'd found an evidently colourful sarcophagus inside one of the carriages.
See, this was not a weird or odd finding, because they've received some news about the unearthing of many sarcophaguses from the Ancient Egypt throughout many parts of Africa, even the ones belonging to ancient kings and queens. With that said, this finding was not much of a surprise for Price and his teammates, it's just that they had never expected to find one themselves.
This sarcophagus, though, didn't look like it belonged to a king or a member of a noble family. Despite the eccentric colours and engravings, it's not as large and humongous like those belonging to a monarch, so the members of SAS just dismissed it as just another coffin of a civilian.
Contrary to the others, Price felt like the sarcophagus was calling to him. The feeling was similar to when he died the first time and tasted the blood of the former vampire. He was about to lift the lid and see what's inside, before he felt David's hand stopping him as another battle was about to commence.
Still, after the series of war was over and he'd settled as a human, Price visited Egypt in 1996, adamant to get some clarity about the weird feeling he got when he was near that one specific sarcophagus. He went to the research facility where the objects found were examined and preserved.
Price then went ahead and asked one of the scientists about the object, and found out that the man inside was never an Egyptian man at all, rather a young man from an Ancient African kingdom, likely the Kerma Kingdom, who traveled to Ancient Egypt as an artist. The scientist surprised Price even more when he said that the man inside likely died around 1500 BC, which was 2700 years before Price himself died.
And he thought he was old.
As they approached the sarcophagus, the scientist left Price alone with the ancient object, as he thought this visitor wouldn't be able to lift the cover which was around 500 pounds or 226 kilograms.
Obviously, it was a small feat for Price.
The vampire lifted the lid and carefully placed the massive object on the floor, and for the first time, he saw the face of the dead man.
Even though he'd long died, Price could tell of the youth in his face. The face of an artist who'd traveled a long way to neighboring kingdoms in search of beauty and inspiration, seeking to sharpen his skills and broaden his knowledge more. Alas, he died a young man.
As he thought, Price felt the calling yet again, now louder from the absence of the lid. He first contemplated about touching such an ancient, possibly fragile object, thinking that it could contain some dark magic or any supernatural powers that were beyond his already vast understanding of the world. But whatever happened to him happened, he guessed. He's virtually uninjurable, and if he somehow died, then he died. End of story.
Finally, Price made up his mind, going ahead and touched the young man's cheek.
Yellow light started to surround the mummy's body, and gradually, the embalmed parts started to change– no, regenerate, forming a bronze coloured skin. His cheeks started to become fuller and fuller each second, the bony features of his arms and legs grew larger, forming a figure of a living human.
Price felt like he was about to faint. He couldn't even remember fainting in his lifetime, but he began to understand something. This mummy - this young man - was coming alive by taking Price's own life force.
Just when Price was about to fall, he released the young man's cheek and stumbled a few steps back. He witnessed as more bright golden light surrounded his body, and how a hand that was just a rigid limb before, began to move, albeit stutteringly, and gripped the edge of his own sarcophagus.
The young man slowly sat up, twisting his neck around like he just arrived on earth, before finding Price standing a few distance away. His eyes were golden, but the parts where it's supposed to be white were coloured solid black.
The young man emerged from his own coffin, very slowly putting his legs on the cold floor. He unsurprisingly fell to the ground like a stiff baby finding ways to manage with his body, before he stood up again, looking straight at Price through half bandaged eyes.
The undead started to walk very slowly towards the vampire, stuttering his movements as one of his hand lifted like he was reaching for him. Price stood up straight and activated his blood controlling power, attempting to stop this moving corpse in its track.
The vampire thought that he'd lost his ability to control blood. He thought because he hadn't consumed any human blood in decades, his power had weakened and even disappeared for good, but that was not the case.
Price couldn't see a single drop of blood inside the young man's veins. Nor his brain, nor his lungs, liver, and intestines. His torso was empty, save for his heart that was still inside his chest, yet the organ was not beating.
After 700 years of his life, Price had found an animate object that he totally cannot control.
The wonders of the world hadn't stop surprising him, huh.
Price, starting to feel fear after so long, could only stand still and let the young man approach him.
As his face got closer and closer, Price noticed that his face was not filled with terror or any negative intentions. It was filled with… happiness?
The young man was smiling.
His hands slowly cupped Price's cheek, and just then, Price began to feel his energy depleting rapidly. He's trying to take Price's life force again!
Reflexively, the vampire swatted the mummy's hands away (which was hard and heavy as a rock).
"What the hell are you doing?!" Price shouted to the young man. The mummy was taken aback by his statements, seeming like he got confused by Price's actions. Not only that, he proceeded to look down, observing his own body and limbs, which were still wrapped with bandages in some parts.
Suddenly, the young man looked at Price and rigidly hugged Price. The vampire was startled at first, thinking that he's about to take his life force again, but nothing happened. Just a simple, warm hug.
Something Price hadn't felt for centuries.
Just then, the sound of the door opening startled the both of them. It was the scientist that had come back to check on Price, and the utter shock on the scientist's face was priceless. The sarcophagus lid was open, and the mummy that was supposed to be dead was hugging the visitor with a grin on his face.
The scientist screamed in confusion and terror in Arabic, before Price slowed the man's heartbeat, prompting him to drop down to the floor in an instant in a sleeping state. The vampire cursed under his breath upon the situation that has fallen before him, and released himself from the mummy’s hug. He then ran towards the sarcophagus and put the lid back, and then he proceeded by carrying the sleeping scientist to some unknown room where he didn’t detect any other blood pulses - the storage room. After a few minutes, Price came back to the room where the mummy was, only to see that the mummy was nowhere to be found.
Price ran out of the room in search of the young man, stopping for a moment to detect the sound of any blood pulses of the mummy, but he exclaimed because he just realized again that that young man doesn’t have any pulse at all for him to detect. So Price began to run around the corner, finally finding the young man was looking up at the other sarcophaguses on display inside the facility, seeming like he’s enamored by the intricate engravings and colours.
Price gritted his teeth in frustration and approached the bandaged man, before fireman-carrying the mummy onto his shoulders. He then ran towards the exit of the facility with the newly reanimated young man, opening his rented car and sat him down to the passenger seat, before he himself sat on the driver’s seat.
Price huffed in relief, trying to make sense of what the actual fuck just happened to him. There’s a living mummy beside him, inside this fucking rental car.
“You, listen to me.” Price began, prompting the young man to look at him.
“You were dead for 2700 fucking years. Until today, you were still dead, but it looked like I was giving you my own life force so you can walk the world of the living again. So that means you’re alive because of me, you got that?!”
The young man only tilted his head in confusion. Of fucking course. He probably only spoke the ancient African and Egyptian language. He facepalmed.
“Okay, I know what if feels like to live again after dying. It’s confusing, but shite, not for 3 and a half millenias!” He shouted before taking a deep breath. “What do I call you? What’s your name?” The 710 year old asked the 3500 year old, his finger pointing at his chest.
That last word seemed to be familiar to the mummy, so he began to mutter some vowels out of his mouth. It looked like producing voice was still extremely hard for him.
“K–ka…”
“What? Ka? Speak clearly.”
“Ke…”
Ke? Kerma? That’s the name of the kingdom he was supposedly originated from.
After a few minutes of the same vowel coming out of the mummy’s mouth, Price began, “Ka. Ka. Kal.”
“Kyle. How about that?” The young man’s black and gold eyes widen. Price swore he saw a glimmering light from his eyes like he just heard his actual name, or at least one of the vowels of his actual ancient name.
“Yeah, you like that, Kyle?” The mummy nodded slowly. “Good. I’m about to give you one hell of a ride."
"Welcome to the living world, Kyle.”
---
Woohoo!! This became too long and even became a lore for Mummy!Gaz as well! Thank you so much for reading and hope you love it! ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡
Leave a comment down below 👀
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stevethehairington · 1 year
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begin again au where eddie is a singer songwriter who moves to new york with his singer songwriter boyfriend, who recently got "discovered" when his song was put in a movie.
said boyfriend has an affair with someone on his team from the label, and eddie dumps him on the spot and stays with chrissy for the night because he has nowhere else to go.
chrissy drags him to a local dive bar for an open mic night, and she pushes him to get up onstage where he sings one of his newer songs.
it gets a lukewarm reaction from the crowd, barely any reaction actually, but eddie doesn't care. it's whatever.
except, as he's slumping back onto his stool, he's approached by this guy. this beautiful beautiful guy who sort of looks a little worse for wear and absolutely, definitely is drunk because he starts going on and on about how incredible eddies song was and how great his voice is and how he hears things, hears whole arrangements, and that's what he heard with eddies song. he tells eddie he's a music producer, that he wants to sign eddie.
eddie doesn't believe him. tells him he doesn't want to be signed anyways.
this guy — steve, his business card says — accepts the rejection, and leaves. but then when eddie himself finally decides to leave the bar, steve's outside, like he was waiting for him. here he admits that he couldn't actually sign eddie even if he wanted to, and explains how he basically just got fired from his label and that's how he ended up at the bar, drinking himself into a stupor.
they hit up another bar together, and get to chatting some more, about music, about their careers. and at the end of the night, steve proposes signing eddie again, tells him he can make it happen if he really wants it. eddie makes a promise that he'll call steve the next day to let him know what he decides.
the next day rolls around and eddie calls. he tells steve's he's in. so steve picks him up and steve takes him to his label and he has eddie play for his boss — who tells steve he's just not into it. steve pitches they get eddie in the studio, get him some back up instruments to really get the full vision he heard in the bar, find someone who will produce it and then give it a new listen with fresh ears. his boss tells him they don't make demos, so come back with a real one yourself and we'll talk.
steve's disappointed by that, but he's not going to let that discourage him. he and eddie get coffee after and steve's thinking a mile a minute, tells eddie fuck that they don't need a demo, they don't even need a studio. all they need is eddie, his guitar, and the city. they'll record outside, right here in the city — a whole album, every song in a new location.
and eddie — he fucking loves the idea.
they get chrissy to help with the recording, and they comb the city for musicians. they find gareth on the drums, jeff with his bass, archie with his guitar. lucas with his cello, erica with her violin. robin with her trumpet. dustin with his keyboard. one by one they fold them into this project, add them to their band.
they record in alleyways, on rooftops, in parks, in the subway, all over the city. they use the background noise to their advantage. they make fucking magic with it.
along the way, of course, eddie and steve fall in love.
when they finish the album, they meet with steve's old boss again, who loves what they've done. eddie demands he give steve his job back and for a bigger share in the deal. but steve's boss isn't down for that, as great as their album is.
when all is said and done, eddie decides he doesn't care if he's been signed or not. he decides to distribute the album online for $1. steve calls in a favor from an old friend, an old journalist friend who's known for her honest music reviews, who has a pretty big following because of it, and she — nancy — helps promote the album. she gets the word out, and they release the album.
and it does fucking incredible.
and it's all thanks to steve. and the beautiful record they created together. the beautiful journey they went on together.
in the end, eddie doesn't care that this whole thing didn't work out the way he'd hoped it would at the start of this all because, well, he's had the fucking time of his life making this album, and he's made so many friends along the way, and he — he's fallen in love. and it's the best thing thats ever happened to him. steve is the best thing that's ever happened to him.
he couldn't be happier.
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betmagic · 6 months
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Random Headcanons
This time about Ace and his narcolepsy.
I’m no expert and while there’s probably a proper name for his sleep attacks , I’ve always called them drops in my head .
I’ve noticed that his narcolepsy never acts up during fights or dangerous/ serious situations.
In albasta he drops before smoker shows up. As for buggy … well comparative wise buggy isn’t much of threat to ace power wise.
So My headcanon is that Ace’s narcolepsy only acts up when he’s safe and is a very accurate indicator for when things are safe.
Why? Ace grew up exploring what’s probably one the most dangerous Forrest’s in the east blue( like the gaint animals are what you normally see in the grandline) and fighting adults in place like grey terminal. So maybe his bodies survival instincts developed as an unconscious self-defense mechanism that wards off his narcolepsy until it’s deemed safe. Even when he’s eating he stays awake and alert.—- because eating can induces a narcoleptic attack/ drop ,( yes I did do some research and it’s when he’s eating that we see Ace actually drops in the anime)
As to How the body knows when it’s safe or not , probably an unconscious use of observation haki. Again ace is basically a feral jungle child I wouldn’t be surprised if he unlocked a little bit of haki while in survival mode. If unlocked conquers haki at ten it might not be far of stretch he unconsciously unlocked and used observation haki.
It doesn’t take long for he’s brothers , specifically Sabo, to notice. He starts using it to gauge situations or whether they’re in the clear or not. Like after hunting a tiger or stealing from a bunch of thugs.
Sabo calls it the drop gauge.
The drop gauge is effective enough that his brothers (and later his crew) trust it implicitly.
Seriously they could be captured or and held at gun point by someone like a yanko ,warlord, or admiral but if Ace drops they instantly relax.
because if it’s safe enough that Ace dropped it probably means that whatever the situation is isn’t dangerous so there’s not a lot a lot to worry about.(and usually means that they can get out of the situation easily).
( whether or not ace aware that he’s used as a gauge is up to interpretation)
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Bonus Scene: The spades also use the drop gauge especially for after a big fight or a rough storm, everyone keeps their guard up until Ace drops , meaning they’re in the clear , then they can relax.
Spade pirates just finished raiding a marine base or rival pirate crew.
Despite being over an hour since they’ve seen any enemies and probably a safe distance away The whole crew are on alert. Weapons ready and everyone is in position to defend or to get the ship ready to make a quick getaway.
Deuce who’s going over a map with A newer member of the crew.
Deuce: We can head towards this island here if they catch up us.
New crew members: um deuce do we really need to make another escape route? think we can relax now.
Deuce glancing at their captain ,who was talking with skull: no not yet.
Newer crew member: But it’s been an hour already and we haven’t seen anything. I think we’re pretty safe now.
Deuce, knowing that the other more senior members were keeping subtle eye on their captain turns back to the map in his hands:Not until the captain shows us it’s safe. Until then stay vigilant and be ready for anything.
And few minutes later is when the captain ‘shows’ it’s safe.
Ace drops mid conversation, skull catching him before he face plants on the deck.
None of the crew panic when their captain suddenly slumps over ,They’re all to used to the logia suddenly dropping out of nowhere, that they’d normally continue with what they were doing like nothing happened. Unless it it was after a battle.
Anytime Ace drops after a fight he’s always properly checked over.(there have been false drops before like when ace lost to much blood or that one time he got poisoned).
Deuce a little concerned ( because his captains an idiot who doesn’t tell him when he’s injured until he passes out from his wounds) :Well?
Skull looks up after evaluating the logia , who’s already starting to snore, giving the first mate a thumps up.
Deuce smiles and turns back to the rest of the crew. They were all waiting, had been the moment bone and ace stopped talking. they all look in direction waiting for the verdict.
Deuce:Alright captain dropped we’re all clear!
There’s a cheer as the crew finally relaxes.some even start making they’re way to retrieve the booze they managed to steal along with lots treasure.
Ace wakes up: Why is everyone Cheering?
If i got something wrong about narcolepsy and how it works please let me know.
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slothpoth · 9 months
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Uncanny Vash and Knives Hcs
I just finished TriMax like— today so now I feel more comfortable being Public with hcs
TW: Body horror and the like
I’m gonna format this by saying overall hcs and then getting specific on how both of them treat/adapt to these hcs and what personal differences they have
Duo Headcannons
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Every time their voicebox reopens their voice takes on a different tone
Most of the time it’s imitating voices they’ve heard in the past, sometimes it’s a weird amalgamation of them creating a new voice.
For example when they only knew Rem their voices would sometimes go a bit too high pitched like it’s their original voice mixed with Rem or just straight up Rem
Their eyes are very glassy and doll-like
I won’t say life less because they can still emote but I think when they’re at rest it’d be very like IB/ Mad Father Doll Room Tease
I’m playing with the idea of them not blinking but I wanna make it freakier somehow so maybe they blink inconsistently? Like one eye will blink every hour and the other every two hours?
The surface of their skin is always feels like there’s an electric current underneath, like you touch their arm and they have buzzies
Independents in general start off looking very uncanny as a newborn, grow into a child that looks very human, and as they rapidly age they start to become more plant like again (got inspo for this from possuminatrenchcoat_27 on tiktok)
This could possibly be a newer adaptation after what happened with Tesla assuming that Tesla is the first instance of an independent/ the first instance of an vs independent getting brutalized like that.
When they get antsy or any high tension you’d be able to see their respective abilities kind of…..moving under their skin
When the tension or emotion gets too much they start to like leak whatever their thing is, think “Hikaru” from The Summer Hikaru Died
When they bleed it’s a mixture of blood of sometimes a feather or a leaf or two
Viewing their “human” visages as a sort of disguise, I’d like to assume they can change colors
And by change colors I mean change how saturated or unsaturated their skin, hair, nails, and other organic parts are
Like if they do choose they can have the brightest teeth none to man and plant
Speaking of teeth, they can choose how many, how little, how long, how short, and what order their teeth are in
Also!! Incredible muscle control, like thinks Fox in a trap, rather than knaw off their leg they simply move and contract the muscle (and possibly bone) until they can slip out
They can photosynthesize but when they do it’s very obvious and very ominous
Like imagine one of them standing looking up, neck limp head back, eyes wide and unfocused slightly rolled back, jaw slack, a rumbling coming from the top of their head and from the ground but nowhere inbetween
Their senses are heightened so in high traffic areas they can get overwhelmed easily, especially considering that they spent their developing and adapting years on the ships where the loudest thing was the machine hum
I think it’d be funny if they can make themselves smell like different types of foliage like one day it’s roses the next it’s honeydew the next it’s just grass
Vash Copes
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so Mr. Deluxe-Life-Like over here is a hummer
Like he’ll hum and clear his throat and make noises to try a get his speaking voicebox to around a tone that somewhat sounds like him.
He can’t just start randomly talking and sound like Milly! That’d be rude!
So along with the rainforest animal sequence chittering and chattering he’s just, “hmm hrrmm huummm buh…how are doing? Do you feel okay?”
To make up for how his eyes are he wears glasses (of course) but also had figured out how to dilate his eyes in time with what he sees in other people’s emotions (incredible muscle control)
He’ll be purposely very expressive to take as much attention from his eyes as possible so none notices how his eyes look or the blinking issue
Sometimes he’ll make himself blink when he knows he’s being looked at
So when Vash is getting antsy under his skin youll see almost like vines wiggling about underneath, but very inconsistently
Like if you’re looking at his arm you’ll see a long thin vine, that could be mistaken for a vein, jerk around sporadically
When he’s getting very antsy the vine will sprout thorns that’ll push through his skin like water. It won’t leave a wound behind the skin will just fall back together
That’s why he likes the coat so much because you can’t see the things going on under his skin
So like imagine an almost worm like part of his skin being raised that’s jerking around and moving these thorns that just glide through his skin (freaky huh?)
I think Vash would use the color changing thing for comedic effect, like the usual tinting red for blush or embarrassment, stuff like that
Despite having all these options for self customization, I think Vash would keep it pretty human like.
Well— not exactly. He hasn’t been in a place to get the details right so he kinda…fills in the blank spaces with other things!
Like since he hasn’t had the time to peek into someone’s mouth, he has a dog mouth. He’s seen the inside of a dogs mouth lot of times what’s wrong with it? They look cool!
One time him and wolfwood were play fighting and WW had pinned him so Vash started to moved his muscles around to squeeze out and WW got so scared he jumped like a foot in the air and cowered in a corner
Vash doesn’t photosynthesize often because he typically eating so that’s how he gets his energy
But when he’s on the run and another town is a ways away and he’s sooo hungry he just gotta Yknow
one time Meryl and Milly caught up to him while he was doing it and when they approached (after passing once to try to taunt him with water) he jerked out of it in a blink all creepy like
Like they were a yard away from his back and they blinked and now he’s a foot away and facing them all “Hey Ladies!” fym hey ladies bitch move
For his senses I feel like he kind of enjoys being on the run so he’s not constantly overstimulated by all the sounds of towns
Don’t get him wrong he loves towns and people but 24/7 everytime he opened his eyes? He just needs a wee break is all
Smell wise I think he’d keep to a grass kind of scent, it’s all he really knows
So when Meryl or Milly or Wolfwood come up and get personal with him and ask “what are you wearing” after answering cheekily for a while he just goes “nothing, I just smell like this”
Knives Cope
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Welcome to the stage Mr. I-Look-Like-This-For-The-Irony and his special talent How Far Can We Push The Human Assumption
One of Knives’ pleasures is seeing how far he can push what he looks and acts like until people start to think he’s not a human
He’s found it’s reasonably far if he’s careful
Voice wise, Knives’ voice really doesn’t change all that often
It gets more erratic based on the people around you and Knives is usually isolated, since he’s not constantly around voices and people like Vash he just has to deal with voice pitching up and down and less imitations
That doesn’t mean it’s never happened
When he and Conrad first teamed up and we’re talking more often about their plans and what’s possible, Conrad thought Knives was warming up and being playful by imitating his voice sometimes
He chuckled once and Knives was like “What’s so funny.” And Conrad brought the voice thing up and Knives was like “That’s unintentional, why would I wanna win your favor I already have it.”
Knives knows his eyes are off putting. He knows very well.
He intentionally makes an overt amount of eye contact until he knows the other person is freaked out
When Knives gets to a point of tension where you can see his blades poking under his skin, he just lets em out
To him it’s his base plant side telling him to free himself of this embarrassing flesh suit so he’s like ah just as nature intended
It could also be why he has the cloak of blades cause he’s always high tension
Back to his stage act, How UnHuman Can We Look Until They Start Actually Thinking I’m Not Human, when it comes to their customization options, Knives likes the keep it just about human
He wants to look like his sisters, but knows he can’t get people to do what he wants if they think he looks too sweet (in his opinion his sisters are adorable)
So he tries to balance both visuals. He’s crazy pale with platinum blonde hair because his sisters are also incredibly pale.
But on the other hand, he keeps himself looking somewhat human because what else to should humanity see at its end but itself?
When he isn’t in public, he likes to look ALOT less human, like biblical Angel.
Knives doesn’t get into situations where he needs to move his muscles around himself to escape anything, the only time he did was when he and Vash were younger and playing around
Unlike Vash, Knives photosynthesizes all the time
He doesn’t like eating, it overwhelms his senses. The sunlight? Oh the sunlight.
Knives feels the same way about the Sun like yearning gays and the moon
He will photosynthesize even if he doesn’t have to, he does it so often he can do it laying down (he looks like a corpse and if you come too close to him while he’s laying there you will get skewered right ways)
Knives remembers more about the flowers Rem showed them and how they smell so usually he’ll choose whichever plant he thinks of first
That’s the end, this took like two days straight there was more in the thinker and reading The Summer Hikaru Died mid way through making it. Can you tell how much I like figuring out how human is human?
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7-wonders · 1 year
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The Mixup
Dream of the Endless/Morpheus x Reader
Summary: Matthew goes sticking his beak in places it shouldn't be, and finds what he believes to be some shocking news.
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: This is a complete and utter crack fic, fight me about it. Based on this post I made. Matthew died right before the pandemic in this, bc it's my fic and I decide the rules :)
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As Dream of the Endless’s Official Raven™, Matthew had developed a special set of skills to help him complete the tasks that only he could successfully accomplish. One of these skills, and arguably the most useful one, was the ability to gather evidence from the smallest of clues. He was like the most diligent of spies, and he took his job extremely seriously; James Bond had nothing on him.
Part of being the greatest corvid detective a number of realms had ever seen meant that it was sometimes difficult to turn his investigation mode on and off. After all, he was expected to be at Dream’s beck and call at the moment that he was needed, which could come at any time or any place. What if there was another John Dee-type emergency and he wasn’t on his a-game? That wasn’t an experience that Matthew was willing to repeat, so he was always on the lookout for any potential situation that might require his expertise.
Today, he had just finished an errand tracking a couple of newer dreams as they learned how to walk through dreams. It had been pretty successful, and since he was already out and about, Matthew decided that he would go and drop in to say hi to you. This was solely out of the goodness of his heart and the desire to see a friend, and most definitely not because you kept your kitchen stocked with sour gummy worms and raspberries just for him.
When Matthew arrived at your home, though, swooping in through the window you kept cracked open just enough for a smarter-than-the-average raven to crawl through, you’re nowhere to be found. Not in your kitchen (which is the first place he checks, for obvious reasons), not in your living room, and not in your bedroom. That’s odd. Normally, you’re home at this time and on this day.
After grabbing a second, third, and fourth helping of some very delicious snacks, Matthew remembers that he hasn’t checked your bathroom yet. Though you’re probably not in there, it won’t hurt to check; maybe you’re taking a shower or something?
The lights are on in the bathroom, but as it is everywhere else, nobody’s home. Frustrating, because Matthew had his mind set on coming to say hi to you, and he hates not fully accomplishing his goals. Oh well, that’s just how things go sometimes. Matthew takes a perch on the counter, deciding that while he’s here, he should preen his feathers of the sugar crystals and raspberry juice that his snacking has left on him. When he turns his head to try and smooth a feather near his wing, he sees it.
Two small, boxy tests, each with two lines on them.
While it had been a few years since Matthew had been a human, he very much remembered the basics of a pregnancy test. And those? Pregnancy tests.
His surprised squawk sends him falling off the counter, and he has to furiously flap his wings in order to not land on the floor. When he gets his feathers under him, he takes a second look at the tests, just to make sure that his beady eyes don’t deceive him. They don’t, because he definitely sees two tests, with two dark lines on each of them. Positive.
As Matthew retreats to the Dreaming, he finds himself a little mad. He can’t believe that Dream’s managed to hide this from him! He really thought they were closer than that, or at the very least, that they had a good-enough working relationship where something as life-changing as a pregnancy would be shared as good news.
It really be your own boss sometimes.
Said boss is sitting on the steps leading up to his throne, surrounded by books and stray scraps of paper. It’s been one of his missions, as of late, to read up on popular literature that he missed during his captivity for ideas for new dreams and nightmares. When hearing about this, you had told Dream that if he was looking for nightmare inspiration, all he had to do was watch the news for an afternoon—something that he was less than amused by, even though you were being completely honest.
Matthew landed on the step next to Dream’s leg, affectionately nipping at the outside of his thigh until he looks down with one of his barely-there smiles. 
“How did our new dreams do?” he asks.
“They did good! Got lost a couple of times, which you expected, but after they got the hang of it, it was smooth-sailing from there.” 
Dream nods before going back to the paragraph he was reading, proud of his creations, though Matthew keeps watching him closely for any sign of…something. A glow, a happiness, something that expecting fathers hiding the news from their beloved ravens would carry. Matthew can’t let this stand, and so he attempts to bait Dream into telling him.
“I haven’t seen Y/n around lately,” Matthew begins.
“We have both had our own various tasks keeping us away from each other the past couple of days. I have felt her presence in the Dreaming each night, though, and she knows that she may call for me if she had need of me.”
Hmm, a painfully normal answer. Not what Matthew was hoping for. “Awesome! Yeah, awesome.”
“Matthew,” Dream calls impatiently.
“Yeah?”
“Why did you choose this topic of conversation?”
“Well, I just, y’know…stopped in to say hi earlier. She wasn’t home, but.” Matthew’s not a good talker, and he needs to just rip the bandage off. “When were you gonna tell your old pal Matthew that you two were expecting?”
Dream looks at Matthew again. “Expecting?”
“Yeah.”
A moment. “Expecting what?”
“Uh, a baby?” Matthew wants to add “duh” under his breath, but he restrains himself.
Dream’s fingers, which had been slowly and methodically tapping on the book he was reading, froze. No, that was wrong. Dream, in his entirety, froze. Literally, it was like someone had hit ‘pause’ on a remote. Though Dream didn’t need to, when in his human form, he found himself in the habit of doing human functions like blinking and breathing. Seeing them stop so suddenly is extremely jarring for Matthew, and he’s a little worried that he’s going to have to try and rouse the King of All Night’s Dreaming from a stupor by throwing water on him or something.
Thankfully, he doesn’t have to when Dream asks, slowly and as though the air has been punched out of him, “A baby?” Matthew was hoping he’d get more than just a repetition of his own words, but he’ll take it.
“I mean, if the positive pregnancy tests were anything to go by, then yes.” Matthew now feels like the biggest jerk in the world. He had thought that Dream was keeping a secret from him, not that you were keeping a secret from Dream! “I’m sorry, I thought you already knew.”
“No, I knew of no such…development.” 
Uh oh.
“Oh! Well, then I guess she just found out! Heh. Congratulations?” Matthew’s working desperately to try and spin this, even as Dream stands up so unsteadily that Matthew worries he might pass out. “Maybe she’s figuring out a fun way to tell you the news.”
Dream nods, but his mind is already in the Waking as he tries to digest what he’s just been told. “Matthew, please inform Lucienne that I will be in the Waking.”
“I can do that! Do you know how long you’re gonna be there, or–” Matthew’s cut off by Dream disappearing in a swirl of sand. When it’s just him in the throne room, a frantic Dream Lord long since gone, Matthew sighs. “Shit.”
•••
The lights in your bedroom are off in order to combat the pressure in your head, the only source of light coming from the random show that you’ve seen fifty times, turned on so that you can have some sort of background noise. You’re only half paying attention as you scroll through your phone, having just woken from a nap and trying to fully wake up so that you can drag yourself to a shower before you try to go to bed.
You’d like to say that this is why you throw your phone in fright when Morpheus suddenly appears in your bedroom, but the reality is that you’d have been just as caught off-guard if you were completely aware and knew that he was coming.
“Hi!” you greet with a smile, pushing yourself to sit up in bed. “What are you doing here?”
He looks off when he makes eye contact with you, but you can’t tell if he’s actually distressed or if it’s just his normal brand of weirdness. When he runs a hand through his hair, that’s when you realize that he’s actually distressed. Morpheus almost never does any sort of human mannerisms, especially something as visibly anxious as mussing up his own hair.
Finally, he remembers to answer your question. When he does, though, you’re absolutely not expecting him to say, “Why did you not tell me that you are with child?”
“What?”
Morpheus takes a seat next to you on your bed and grabs your hands in his. You just hope he doesn’t realize how clammy they are. “If you were…scared of how I would react, then I must sincerely apologize. Though we have never discussed this topic, you must know that I would be happy and support you in whatever you decide.”
“I mean, that’s great and all, but…” you squeeze his hands, which are as cold as they usually are. “Morpheus, I’m not pregnant.”
He blinks. “You’re not?”
You shake your head slowly, wary of the double vision you’ve been experiencing when you move too fast. “No. One-hundred-percent not pregnant, sorry to disappoint.”
“Oh.” The relief on his face is so palpable that it almost makes you laugh.
“How did you come to the conclusion that I was?”
“When Matthew came by earlier to visit you, he saw what he said were…” he thinks for a moment, “‘pregnancy tests’ on your counter.”
You huff. “Matthew needs to mind his own business. They were covid tests, and that’s probably why I wasn’t here when he was. I scheduled a pickup order at the pharmacy so that I could get meds and other ‘sick person’ stuff before I got too sick.”
“Covid?”
“Coronavirus. It’s the pandemic, people have definitely dreamt of it before.” His gaze goes foggy for a moment, and you can tell that he’s drawing on the knowledge of the Dreaming in order to learn everything about covid in the span of a second. When he comes back to you, he nods.
“Yes, they have.” Then, he gets panicked again. “You are ill, then?”
“Unfortunately. It’ll be okay, though. Just have to rest and hydrate for a few days.” You cough, your body deciding to punctuate your point about being sick and needing rest.
“Is there anything that I may do to help you in your recovery?”
“Yeah, you can call your little sidekick so I can yell at him for going through my stuff.” You won’t actually yell at him, because you’re not actually mad. Still, it’ll be funny to see how he reacts to the knowledge, and you can’t miss out on getting to be the one to tell him how wrong he is.
Morpheus holds his coat open to reveal the starry lining within. Through some link that you haven’t quite been able to figure out yet, Matthew flies out of the galaxies and into your room seconds later. He settles himself on your nightstand, looking about as visibly awkward as a raven can.
“Hey, there’s the happy couple!” When you both do nothing but stare at him, he clears his throat. “Congratulations?”
“I’m not pregnant, dumbass,” you say.
“What?” Matthew exclaims. “But I saw the tests!”
“First of all, don’t snoop through my stuff. Second of all, how the hell did you mistake a covid test for a pregnancy test? It literally said what it was on the test.”
“First of all, I was looking for you and, when you weren’t here, I was trying to make sure you weren’t in any danger. It’s what being a good raven is all about,” he retorts. “Second of all, maybe it’s because I don’t know what those are!”
“A covid test?” He bobs his head up and down in a nod. Just as you’re about to use the new roast material you think you’ve just acquired, you pause and think. “Wait, when did you die?”
“Uh, February of 2020?” 
Suddenly, it all made sense. Matthew didn’t know what a covid test was, because when he died, covid was neither widespread nor a public health emergency. Hell, in February of 2020, at-home tests wouldn’t even be available for another half of a year.
“You get a pass this time for your lack of knowledge,” you say before pointing at him. “But don’t go through my stuff anymore. Just…wait around next time! Enjoy some snacks!”
“Oh don’t worry, I still enjoyed plenty of snacks before looking through your stuff.” Matthew looks back at Morpheus. “Can I go, or am I still needed here?”
Morpheus sighs and holds his coat open again, still trying to wrap his head around the conversation he just witnessed. “You may return to the Dreaming, Matthew.”
“Sweet, thanks!” He flies up into the air, and right before he disappears back home, he calls out, “Make sure you use precaution!”
You’d throw a pillow at that damn nosy bird, but you don’t want to hit poor, confused Morpheus with it.
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