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[the-sky-queen]

Long Time No See - 1/4

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[fangirlovestuff]

Butterfly Effect - Steve Rogers x reader

a/n - Hey lovely people! this is for @holylulusworld​​‘s 10,000 followers celebration, congrats!! (even though you have a lot more now lol). the divider is by the amazing @firefly-graphics​. italics are for thoughts / flashbacks, and the first parts are all in chronological order. Enjoy!<3

Summary: The words on Steve’s arm point to the circumstances in which he will meet his soulmate, and they’re very specific, or so he thinks.

Prompt: 11 - soulmate AU

Word Count: ~2,070

Warnings: reader gets a tatoo but basically this is just a huge fluff fest:)

"That's a cute owl you're drawing there."  

These are the words that were imprinted on Steve's arm since the moment he was born. When Steve could finally read, he asked his mother why are the words there.

"These words are very important," Sarah explained. "They are the first words your soulmate will ever say to you."

"What's a soulmate?" asked a confused Steve.

"A soulmate," his mother answered, "is someone you're gonna love very much. They're the person you'd probably choose to spend the rest of your life with. Their soul is connected to yours in inexplicable ways, almost as if they were one and the same. This," she pointed at the words, "is the sign for you to realize when you'll meet them. Somewhere out there, there's someone with the first words you're gonna say to them."

"So I'll be drawing an owl when I meet my soulfriend?" Steve asked.

"It's soulmate, dear. And I guess you probably will."

"And this… soulmate, will they buy me ice cream?" Steve asked hopefully, not quite getting the point.

Sarah giggled at her son. "Yes, I think they will if you'd want that. But also, they would love you so much, and you'll have the most fun in the world with them."

"Was da your soulmate?" Steve asked.

"He is," his mother answered, the smile on her face tinged with a little sadness that Steve hadn't picked up on.

Okay, so two round eyes, and then the body, and I should add some feathers and –

"Mr. Rogers!" the math teacher said sternly. "I haven’t assigned any equations yet, so I would appreciate it if you'd keep your attention on me instead of your notebook, for now."

"Yes, Ms. Williams," Steve replied sheepishly.

"You know you've already met everyone in this class right? No one here is your soulmate," Bucky whispered once their teacher turned back to the board.

"But I still want to get better at it," Steve shrugged defensively. "She's gonna say it's cute, Buck. For that to happen it needs to actually be cute."

"I don't get your whole fuss around soulmates Steve, but whatever. Suit yourself," Bucky rolled his eyes.

"You don't believe in soulmates?" Steve asked.

"Well, I wouldn't strictly say that, it's just… my words are 'watch it, weirdo.' Call me crazy, but I'm not that stoked to find that person," Bucky chuckled.

"Mr. Barnes! Something to share with the rest of us?" Ms. Williams said.

"No Ms. Williams, I'm sorry," Bucky said timidly and Steve snickered.

Steve could draw owls in his sleep if he needed to. Right now, his pencil was sketching over the page, lightly shading the wings of the owl and the –

"Rogers! You're on in five!" the stage manager called out to him.

Steve sighed and snapped his sketchbook shut. He kept hoping that maybe it was one of the girls on tour with him, but so far it wasn't going so well. The government-mandated entertainment had quite enough free time so Steve could draw as many owls as he wanted to in between shows.

He put the notebook aside and slipped on the cowl they had him wear. The Captain was needed on stage.

"So people take art classes… for fun?" Steve asked, puzzled.

"Yeah," Natasha answered. "Lately you're always drawing away in your little notebook, so if you want to, I could help you sign up for a class. Maybe they can teach an old dog some new tricks," she smirked.

"Ha ha," Steve answered dryly. Yet he couldn't help considering the idea.

The thing was, Steve wasn't sure if his soulmate was still out there to be found. You'd think he would feel a difference, some indication if his soulmate was dead, but when he went out of the ice, Steve felt nothing different. There was still a part of him that was hoping that maybe, just maybe, fate planned this. That his soulmate was still out there.

"That's a great color scheme, Steve," the instructor said, and Steve nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Thanks," he smiled, albeit a tad shakily.

This was the fifth class Steve took this month, and yet, no luck. He wasn't even drawing an owl, and yet the start of that sentence made him jump as if he didn't have super… well, everything.

But that doesn't mean he was giving up. His tattoo was still in place, even after all of these years, it hadn't faded. So he had to believe he could still find his soulmate.

These times were a lot more different than his. People here weren't always inclined to live by that philosophy of "soulmates". Some people chose to simply disregard that and find someone they loved regardless. Steve admired that, but he couldn't say he understood. If you're offered your perfect partner, why walk out of that?

"It's called instant gratification," Nat chuckled when he raised that question to her. "People like to have what they want as soon as possible. Besides, some people don't believe it's real, or don't believe it'll work for them. So, they take matters into their own hands."

Steve was more patient than the average person. He waited decades in ice, what's a few more years to find his soulmate?

Bucky had found his soulmate. Steve couldn't believe it.

Sure, he was happy for Bucky. When he came back today from the store with nothing but a small slip of paper, Steve had half a mind to smack him upright the head for not getting anything. Probably forgot his wallet.

But when Bucky showed him the paper he read the words scribbled onto it – "call me, weirdo, xx" and a phone number, Steve pulled Bucky into a tight hug, patting him on the back.

"Congrats, pal," he smiled.

Bucky beamed. Yes, Bucky Barnes, the terrifying Winter Soldier was beaming and his eyes were shining like a high-schooler in love. And Steve wished that could've been him.

He really was happy for Bucky. That's the thing – this was a good thing. Besides from his best friend finding the love of his life, it also meant that Steve's soulmate is almost definitely out there. But he couldn't help feeling a spark of resentment deep inside of him. It made him feel guilty, but he couldn't help the bitter thought that Bucky was never too keen on finding his soulmate while Steve did everything in his power to find them. And yet, Bucky found his while Steve's still in the dark.

So, to get out of his own head a little, Steve decided to go paint in the park.

To be honest, it was a wonder that Steve hadn't gotten awfully tired of drawing by now. But he still loved it, loved the quiet it cultivated in his mind.

Steve set up a canvas and looked around. People weren't noticing him, busy in their own endeavors. He almost started drawing an owl out of instinct, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Steve wanted to forget about the whole soulmate business for a while and just draw.

He saw a butterfly fly over and land on a nearby bush. Steve focused on the butterfly, trying to remember as much as he can. The rest he can improvise. The butterfly fluttered its wings for a few seconds before flying away.

Steve started drawing the butterfly. Once he had the pencil sketch, he started filling it in with the paints he had brought. He started with the little circles on its wings, filling them in so the shade will be just right, and he was about to move on to the rest on the wings when –

"That's a cute owl you're drawing there."

"It's a butterfly," Steve turned around, puzzled, before realizing what you had just said to him.

Your mouth opened in a gentle gasp. Your hair and clothes were a little messy from your long day at work. And at that moment, when you were caught completely off guard, Steve first met you. You were the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on, and he was an artist. He stared at you in utter shock while you returned him a similar look.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" your friend asked, sitting next to you with a worried look.

"I'm tired of looking for my soulmate. Do you know how hard it is to make conversation about butterflies?" you looked back at her. "I want to do this," you told her.

The tattoo artist came closer. "Okay ma'am, you wanted a simple butterfly, right?"

"Yes," you answered decisively. "On my left wrist." Your right hand had your words on it. "It's a butterfly." Maybe if you had a tattoo your soulmate would see it, would find you.

You closed your eyes and braced for what came next.

You weren't sure about this blind date thing, but why not. You trusted your friend that she set you up with a nice guy, at least.

You set up to meet in a park, and from there walk to a nearby restaurant. Right when the guy showed up, there was a butterfly next to you.

"What’s that?" you asked quickly, pointing towards it.

Your date turned his head to look, but by the time he did the butterfly was already flying away. "I don't know, it was probably a bug or something."

You stifled your groan of disappointment. At least you'd get a dinner out of this.

You and Steve were staring at each other in amazement. Finally, you were the one to speak up. "You're Steve Rogers," you said, frowning in disbelief.

"And you're my… soulmate," he returned the same disbelieving look.

You introduced yourself quickly, smiling at him timidly when you finished.

"So, you wanna get ice cream or something?" Steve asked, unsure of what exactly to do. But apparently he said exactly the right thing, because your face lit up.

"Right now though? You're in the middle of your painting and I wouldn't wanna –"

"It doesn't matter," Steve said quickly and stashed the canvas and paints underneath a bench nearby. "No one passes here anyways," he shrugged. "Until today," he smiled and you giggled.

You made your way to an ice cream shop across the street from the park, walking side by side.

"So, what is the great Captain America doing drawing owl-looking butterflies in a local park?" you asked, smiling.

"I was just looking to clear my head a little," Steve said dismissively. "To be honest, the fact that you didn't find me drawing an actual owl is very ironic, looking back," Steve chuckled. "I spent pretty much my entire life drawing owls, attending painting classes, anything I could to find you," his gaze met yours and he smiled softly. "And I find you in a random park while drawing a butterfly."

"Don't underestimate nature's camouflage," you chuckled. "And hey, you think that's ironic? Butterflies are so scarce I got this," you rolled up your left sleeve a little, revealing your butterfly tattoo.

Steve's eyes widened. "It's beautiful," he automatically reached out to trace the lines on your arm, then withdraws his arm when he understands what he's doing. "It's not as beautiful as you," he says with a smile on his face.

You avert your eyes to the ground in front of you. "Thank you," you bashfully say.

You and Steve got your ice cream, and you exchanged plenty of stories of your adventures in search of each other, most of which were devastating when they happened but when you look back at them now, they were actually pretty funny.

"I hope I can see you again," Steve said when it was getting a little late.

He looked so hopeful, but the question in itself made you want to laugh at the obviousness of the answer. Instead, you rose onto your tiptoes, and planted your lips on his soft ones in a sweet kiss.

Once you parted you took a napkin and wrote down your number. "I sure hope to see you soon," you smiled.

"I'll call you, butterfly," Steve grinned and you beamed at the nickname.

And that night you both went home with huge smiles smeared across your faces. Finally, your quest to find your soulmate was at an end, and you could start a new journey, together.

Taglist:  @horny-nd-bored​ @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds​ @wintersoldierslut​ @iceebabies​  @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree​ @kaitcordx25 @bequeening​ @steve-barry-damon-logan​ @itscrazycherryblossomcollection​ @hollandxmarvel​ @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000​

if you wanna join / be removed from this taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

[purrincess-chat]

To Tame a Queen CH7

Here’s the next chapter of TTQ! Chloe and Marinette visit an orphanage, and we learn a little about Chloe’s past. ;) I’ll also be updating this twice a week now to try and finish it, so the next chapter will be up Thursday. It will have 15 chapters total, so hopefully it should be done in the next couple weeks. I have so many other things planned after it’s done which is why I’m trying to hurry it along. Anywho, read it below or at either of the links provided. 

FF | AO3

Chapter 7

“There’s so many,” Chloe whined as the limo rounded the corner of the orphanage to reveal a huge crowd of reporters waiting outside. “You set this up to ruin me, didn’t you?”

“Relax. It’s going to be fine. Have you studied the notecards I gave you?” Marinette asked as the limo slowed to a stop.

“Yeah, but-”

“Then you should be fine.” Marinette cut her off as the door opened. “Let’s go.”

Chloe swallowed hard as they crawled out to face the masses. The moment her feet touched the pavement, camera bulbs flashed in her face, and several reporters shoved microphones at her demanding statements. She blindly followed Marinette up the front steps where a woman with short brown hair waited in the doorway. Chloe could see a couple of small children peaking between her legs as Marinette shook her hand.

“Thank you for coming, girls. It’s a huge help,” She said with a look of genuine gratitude.

“Of course, Ms. Durand. Chloe and I are happy to assist.” Marinette smiled easily.

She was a natural. All Chloe could think about were her sweaty armpits and churning stomach. How could Marinette even function right now? She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She was being ridiculous, after all, she was the mayor’s daughter. She should have some pride.

So, with her head held high, she followed Ms. Durand and Marinette inside doing her best to seem dignified. It was nothing like anything she’d seen before. The walls were a little shoddy with ripped wallpaper, and the hard plank floors were covered with old, musty rugs. Everywhere she looked were little girls and boys, staring up at her with inquisitive little eyes.

“How many children live here?” Chloe asked with a gape.

“15 right now,” Ms. Durand replied, gesturing them into the small sitting room that housed a few chairs and bookshelves. “Make yourselves comfy; I’ll go round them up for you.”

Marinette took a seat calmly and patted the chair next to her for Chloe to sit in. She lowered onto it carefully, crossing her legs and clasping her hands in her lap as children began to flock in. She felt her back stiffen a little as a camera man stood in the doorway, filming their every move.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” Marinette greeted cheerfully.

“Good afternoon, Marinette.” They all repeated back.

“I’ve brought a friend with me today to help you guys too, so everyone will get a chance to read this time,” She continued, and immediately several pairs of eyes locked on her.

“Hello.” Chloe waved nervously, plastering on a smile.

“Everyone group up with a book, and Chloe and I will help you take turns.”

They all jumped up energetically and rushed to the bookshelves to pick their favorites then they calmly shuffled over to them, forming neat lines as they waited for their turn patiently. Marinette moved to sit on the floor and nodded for Chloe to do the same. Chloe gave her a “do I have to?” wince which was met with a stern frown, so Chloe shifted down slowly right before a little dusty-haired girl plopped in her lap. She flinched a little and glanced at Marinette for help, but she was busy with a lapful of her own, so Chloe painted on a smile as the girl began to read, using her finger to keep her place.

“O…n-ce up-on a t…i-me…” What had she gotten herself into? She glanced at the little girl’s shoes, mismatched and riddled with holes, and her nose wrinkled a little.

“What happened to your shoes?” She asked, and the girl clicked them together.

“They got too small for Evette so they’re mine now. Charlotte gets them next,” She explained.

“You don’t have your own shoes?” She glanced up as several of them shook their heads.

“Oh.” Chloe felt her heart sink a little, thinking guiltily of her closet full of shoes back home as the girl resumed reading painfully slow.

After a while, she glanced over at Marinette who had three children piled in her lap laughing cheerfully as they read Jack and the Beanstalk. It baffled her that people who had so little were smiling so widely. If she were in their position, she’d be a puddle of tears every day, and yet all of them were smiling and having fun. Time passed by in slow motion as child after child moved into her lap with worn books, some missing pages, and began to read. She didn’t feel like any of it was real, and finally, the last child closed his book and stood up as Marinette climbed back into her chair.

“You all did so wonderfully today! I brought you all a little treat for being such awesome readers!” She reached into her backpack and pulled out a box of cookies which prompted excited squeaks and whispers from around the room. “While I pass these out, Chloe is going to tell us a story.”

“I am?” She cocked a brow, and Marinette gave her a look. “I…am!”

“Are you gonna use the dolls?” That little mop of dirty blonde hair asked hopefully.

“Of course she is. It wouldn’t be story time without our friends, right?” She nodded to her bag, so Chloe dug inside to find a few books and several dolls. She picked out one in particular, an idea forming in her mind.

Beauty and the Beast.

She eyed the book for a moment, glancing up at Marinette who winked. Situating the book on her lap, she dug through the dolls until she found the ones she was looking for.

“Um,” She began, clearing her throat. “I’m going to tell this one a little differently…” She held up the princess dressed in a beautiful gown and took a deep breath.

“Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess named Cosette, and she lived in a big castle with her loving parents. One day, her mother fell ill and left her daughter and husband, the king, all alone. The princess was very sad and missed her mother terribly, so her daddy bought her lots of gifts to make her smile. But he bought her too many gifts, and soon she became greedy and started mistreating all of the town’s people until one day she turned into a horrible beast.” She swapped the princess out for the beast and continued.

“She lived as an awful beast for a long time, but she didn’t know what she had become because every time she looked in the mirror, she could only see the beautiful princess she’d always been. It wasn’t until the town’s people started running and screaming that she realized what she had become. The king told her to find a witch in the forest that could help her turn back into a princess, so the Beast went on a journey to find her, but the witch was someone she’d been especially mean to so she didn’t want to help the Beast. The Beast was sad and returned home to her castle, lamenting that she was always going to be a hideous monster. But the kind witch, seeing the Beast’s pain, decided to help her after all and came to visit her at the castle. She told the Beast that the only way to become a princess again was to do kind deeds and make up for all the hurt she’d caused. Together they set out to make up with those that she’d been mean to, but the town’s people were still angry with her and wouldn’t listen. Nevertheless, the witch never gave up even though the Beast had also been mean to her, sometimes more than others…”

She glanced up to see all eyes trained intently on her, even Marinette seemed a little engrossed, and Chloe felt her cheeks heat up. “So, the witch helped the Beast see how selfish she was being and taught her how to be kind. The end.” The children stared at her blankly for a moment before Marinette initiated a clap. Chloe let out a breath, cheeks burning as a scrawny little boy raised his hand.

“Did the Beast ever turn back into a princess?” He asked.

“Maybe. You’ll have to find out another time because it’s time for us to go,” Marinette stated, gathering her things into her bag and zipping it up.

“Aww,” The kids sighed, and Marinette chuckled.

“We’ll come back very soon, we promise,” She vowed, blowing kisses as they followed Ms. Durand back out.

“Thank you girls again. The kids absolutely loved it,” She said, shaking their hands as the doors opened and several reporters hopped up and waited expectantly.

“It’s our pleasure, right, Chloe?” Marinette elbowed her, and she jumped.

“Uh, yeah. It was my pleasure.” She nodded, glancing back at the little dusty-haired girl with her mismatched shoes.

“Chloe, Chloe!” Several voices called, and she paused at the top of the steps. Marinette turned back to her curiously, gesturing for her to get into the limo.

“I want to do something…” She said softly, and Marinette cocked a brow as she turned to the press. “These children inspired me today because even though they have so little, they still find ways to be happy. I want to do more for them, so…I’m going to start a foundation to donate new books, clothing, and shoes to more shelters across Paris so that every child can have clean clothes and proper books to read.”

There was a moment of silence until she nodded curtly then the chorus of voices erupted once more, and Marinette took her wrist and pulled her back into the limo. Once safely inside, Chloe leaned back with a sigh of relief and opened her eyes to see a sly smirk plastered on Marinette’s face as she folded her arms over her chest. Chloe pursed her lips and glared in the other direction, tapping her fingers on her thighs.

“Not bad, Cosette,” She praised, and Chloe felt her cheeks burn bright red.

“I just- I’m…Shut up,” She grumbled, hiding her face as Marinette’s laughter filled the car. Despite Marinette’s jabs, Chloe felt good about the day. It was the first idea she’d come up with on her own, and for what it was worth, she was proud of it.

[cosmosogler]

hello i am here. i took a break from pokemon today except to check up on the pelago for about two minutes while i was waiting at the doctor’s office. and i guess i’ll do the daily stuff in fifteen minutes.

i have been having weeeeird dreams again. i think it’s the birth control... i very rarely have dreams like that when i’m NOT on birth control. it involved me watching a let’s play of sonic adventure 2′s two-player thing and the players couldn’t figure out what to do despite the directions showing up on the screen. i wanted to scream. 

then i was looking at sky scrapers. i recognize them in retrospect - they’re in the Big City. i am not usually up that high to see the top of the buildings. there was a family-owned sub sandwich place with a big sign that read “We Cater!” in yellow cursive. it was on top of a radio tower. i mistook it for a billboard until i leaned over and saw the counter with the meat and bread and stuff. there was absolutely no room for a kitchen or tables and the restaurant, or room, was about 10 by 10 feet with glass walls and the sign over the door. i asked “how did this happen?” out loud and then i woke up.

the early part of the dream was me wandering around in the fog on a dock that was also a college campus. i had to get an ark down from the mountain. because i needed more bible symbolism in my dreams? there was some kind of party going on, because every now and then people would appear from the fog wearing bright colors and carrying balloons and prize bags and kazoos and stuff. i think they spoke simlish, or something i didn’t understand very well. i ended up getting the ark down by doing a weird optical illusion thing. i was standing far away from it, so it looked small, so i just picked up the small ark between my thumb and finger and put it in the river. then when i got close it was big again. i think that’s where they were playing the video games. it was in a wooden room at least.

the thing that makes these dreams weird is that they are even more disorienting and mashed together than usual. generally there’s some kind of theme connecting my dreams, like the colors or mood or some phrase or motivation. or i will deliberately try to leave one dream if i don’t like it, and once i leave i forget what i was doing and have the new dream. there’s nothing particularly sexual or anything in these dreams, as you can see, but :/

i don’t like it at all.

i felt that disorientation all morning. the shower was a haze, and right after i washed my hair i couldn’t remember if i’d washed my hair yet or not. there was still soap in my hair so i figured it out. when i left to drive to the doctor’s i forgot the garage door was broken. then when i was driving i started dissociating really bad. i was trying to watch the road, but i was also like observing myself driving and everything looked really far away and it was hard to focus. usually when i’m driving and something like that happens a million alarms go off in my head, and that happened, but it was also hard to care. i made it to the doctor without incident though. when i checked in i noticed they had monsters inc on in the corner and there was a little kid watching it with her mom and that cheered me up a little bit.

the doctor changed up my birth control prescription, so hopefully i won’t be so sore and sick all the time next month. she also recommended that i start keeping a food journal to see if there are patterns in what makes me sick and less sick. so i will make more of an effort to write down what i ate and how i felt afterward. i totally forgot to take my anti nausea meds twice today but it was ok.

i was ok driving home. i put on some music i like. i decided to hold off on picking up the new meds until tomorrow to see if my other prescriptions are ready by then. i still have some time left before i need to get more wellbutrin and stuff, so hopefully if there’s a problem i can get a refill from my doctor on monday.

for lunch i had my leftovers from manuel’s. a spinach enchilada and some espinaca con queso. it’s a pretty cheesy meal, but i did ok. i felt just as sick as yesterday and i ate roughly the same amount, which was about three quarters of what i had rationed myself. after that i was doing something on the computer... i don’t remember what it was. i think i was looking at some videos i didn’t have time to get to yesterday and when i finished that, my brother and dad had moved all the bookcases out of the hallway and into my sister’s unoccupied room. so dad asked me to clean the floorboards. so i took a rough cloth and wiped off the dirt. dad is going to paint the hallway sometime in the near future. i was going to say he didn’t need to bother, but, thinking about it, it really needs it. there’s still crayon markings from when my brother was a toddler a few years after we moved in.

after that i called the outpatient hospital thing that my therapist recommended! i am going to be “assessed” on monday. it meets for like nine hours a week. i am hoping i get in, and i am hoping it will be helpful, although i am not sure what it entails or how many weeks i will theoretically be attending. i will have to remember to ask those questions on monday. i also looked up some reviews online and there weren’t any comments on being “treated like an animal” or “left in the waiting room for 7 hours” so i am hoping it will be good. they also take my insurance.

after that i bummed around on tumblr until i realized it was too late to also call the school about my tuition. maybe tomorrow...

dad and i went to thai food for dinner. i started feeling really sick about halfway into my soup but i forced myself to continue eating because thai food is my favorite. like, i have liked almost every thai dish i have ordered at any restaurant. this one doesn’t make the very best food, but it is very good, and they also do vegetarian soups which are magnificent and i can’t seem to find any other thai place that makes them. so dad and i go to this one. i decided to try something new and got “spicy noodle.” which was basically black pepper with some noodles and broccoli. it was pretty good!

dad was too tired to go to the game store to play terraform mars so we went home after dinner. i set up onitama and got him a beer and we played a round of that. it took like 25 minutes, while with asher they usually took 10 to 15 minutes. dad ended up pulling a very unexpected win in literally the last turn after i’d put pressure on him since turn 3 or so. it’s like chess except more crowded and fewer options. it’s hard to explain without the board and pieces in front of me.

after that i sat and thought for a while. my sister used to have a very similar problem to the one i am having now. constant stomachaches, feeling nauseous, stuff like that. that started when we were very young, like “eating solid food now” young, and seemed to still be happening when i left for high school. when i see her next, probably on easter for the family gathering, i will ask whether or not that ever stopped or if she just started hiding it better. i think she started feeling better after having a nose surgery... so it might not be the same problem. i have a much wider nose and don’t have a lot of breathing problems except a weird respiration cycle that probably developed because of my heart problem.

after that i was talking to asher and i brought up that game where you find a young teenager with like a sparkledog oc and you draw it and make the kid happy. an artist named coral did that for me once when my secret santa was a no-show one year. i was 14. it blew my mind! i spent so much time after that trying to draw like her. my style is much different from hers now, but i think i am about at the same level technical wise. i have never been a popular artist but i think having someone with practice draw your first oc is kind of magical regardless.

so i spent like two hours combing through the internet looking for goofy ocs made by kids. i noticed that my little pony and five nights at freddy’s is very popular. i don’t know much about those... but i found a few examples of “baby’s first character” so i will try to at least do some sketches tomorrow evening. maybe it will help me start drawing again.

i wanted to go to bed at 11:30, but now it is 12:30, because i am dumb and said “i’m just gonna write something really quick” at 11:30, which is when i ran out of resources to find mostly unironic eye-searing sparkledogs.

also in one of the “young artist” groups on deviantart there was tentacle porn and i don’t know how to feel about that. (it was... pretty vanilla actually.) and some vaguely sensual shirtless photo realistic paintings of star wars fan characters. and there was one folder with pages upon pages of ms paint anime drawings by one person from 2010. 

i don’t miss being a kid.

i’m going to try to sleep and hope my hellacious dream torment ends soon.