#no but literally i look up everything on urban dictionary

[lilplecoptera]

the ✨autistic urge✨ to look up slang terms and abbreviations you don't understand on urban dictionary

[syrma-sensei]

→ Different World, Different Words.

gif credit.

pairing: soldier boy x fem!reader.

rating: explicit.

warning: soldier boy pov, ben's being a fluffy yet dirty bastard, ben's being smitten with you, domestic fluff, dirty talk, fingering, size kink if you squint, swearing a lot of swearing, doesn't necessarily follow the canon plotline.

word count: 866.

summary: ben's trying to fit in this fucked-up, new world.

→ masterlist | ao3

“So it means a pussy.”

“For the millionth time, Ben, No!”

He shakes his head, unconvinced, “A man who does the most motherfucking cringey stuff to impress a chick. In my times we were used to call him a pussy.”

Ben puts the dish he just rinsed in the drying rack then takes the plate full of soap she just washed. The topic of modern slang was brought up at the dinner table a few minutes ago, when Ben was trying to literally impress her how adaptive and quick he is.

This time she's the one to shake her head, biting adorably on her lower lip, “Well, yeah but—” She snaps her head to the side to look at him. He's huge compared to her, almost covering the entire sink with his figure. A wide smile on her face, “Wait a minute, did you just say cringey.”

“Yeah, so?” He glances at her from the corner of his green eyes. He could've sworn he saw pride in her eyes. His heart skips.

“Where did you learn that from?” She asks teasingly, proceeding with doing the rest of the dishes.

“Urban dictionary.” She makes a snoring sound, and his eyebrows knit in confusion, “What? That whining cum-guzzler told me about it.”

She wiggles her eyebrows, lips puckering up amusedly, and he feels wildly tempted to crash them with his lips.

“Oh, poor Hughie, must've been fed up with your pussy this and pussy that.” She lets out a giggle, “Can't blame him tho. The things come out of that tongue of yours can be so gross sometimes.”

“Diffrent times, different words.” He says, “Still don't make sense to me.”

Ben then raises an eyebrow, watching her drying her hands with a towel when she's done, he follows her when he is too. He hums playfully, lips curling up into a mischievous grin. “Hmh, last time I checked, you liked the things I do with this tongue of mine.”

A deep crimson colour smudges her cheeks, she looks at him with adorable, upset face. “Well, yeah, it has some perks.”

“Oh, yeah?” With his strong arms, he lifts her effortlessly up to the countertop. Her face meets his, her cheeks are still red despite everything. “How about going to bed...” He pecks her lips, once, twice. “and let me fuck this pretty pussy nice and slow,” In a matter of seconds she's chasing his lips for more, “and show you the wonders my tongue is capable of.” He caves in to her want and gives her a kiss. Long and devouring, his tongue is already in her mouth, exploring and tasting, and swallowing her moans.

“Oh, God.” She breathes against his lips, “Ben I can barely walk thanks to last night's fucking. I don't have your fucking supe stamina.” She keeps on kissing him, nevertheless. Nibbling and sucking on his lower lip in such a teasing way, while her small hands cup his bearded cheeks.

Ben groans deeply, burying his face in her neck. “You don't have to do anything, just take what I give you.” His hand slides in between their frames to find her clothed clit. He smirks, filthy little slut; the thin layer of her panties is practically drenched. “Oh, baby, sure you don't wanna let me fuck you dumb tonight too?”

She lets out a pathetic moan when his fingertip presses to her erected clit. She holds onto his strong biceps for support as he proceeds taunting her, “Hmh, bet you can't wait to squeeze my cock empty in your fucking slutty pussy.”

“Ah, Ben, p-please...!” She whimpers, hips rolling against his fingers for more fraction.

“Shhh, I got you.” With one firm move, Ben rips her panties away.

“Ben!” She chides, “Quit doing that to my clothes!”

He fakes a sympathized hum before he buries two fingers in her cunt. “I'll buy you new ones.” A devious grin adorns his mouth, “Though you don't need any around me.”

With half-lidded eyes, she glares at him. And his heart swoons at the cute, angry face she's giving him. “God, you're the worst.” She huffs and kisses him furiously. A deep chuckle rumbles within his chest, his fingers curl and twist inside of her drawers, her arousal glistening wet on his knuckles.

“Ben, fuck!” Her thighs squeeze shut on his fingers when shivers her orgasm out. “Fuck, Ben, st-stop it's too much!” She begs him as he fucks her through her high.

She rests her forehead on his chest when he pulls out. “You're a dick.” Her voice is muffled by his shirt.

He laughs amusedly, “Though you like it.”

“I like your dick, not you being one.” She gazes up at him, giggling. “You just enjoy fucking me up.”

“Yes, I do.” He says, a brutal grin on his lips, “I love ruining you.”

She roughly pushes him away with her foot on his chest, he raises an eyebrow at her as she jumps onto the floor, still quivering from her orgasm.

She glances at his bewildered face over her shoulder, giving him a wink, “Then stick to your words and ruin me in bed, tiger.”

Ben follows her with a wolfish grin on his face.

[bleu-guacamole]

If you’re looking for a new show to watch then do I have a recommendation for you!

An alien crash lands on earth and takes the place of a doctor in a small town of Colorado. His goal is to exterminate the entire human race, but when the town doctor is murdered he is forced to interact with people and OH MY GODS! Every character is just absolutely SO WELL WRITTEN!

Every character from the depressed deputy to the egomaniacal sheriff who eats breakfast with his elderly father and the romantic pink haired bartender to the Native American medical assistant have great storylines, amazing actors, and great comedic moments. The mayor and his wife, their son who knows our main character is an alien and his best friend who reminds me of Samirah from Magnus Chase, and I haven’t even mentioned the daughter of the medial assistant who was given up for adoption and is trying to reconnect with her family.

Plus the main character is the most relatable despite being the least human (literally). From getting glimpses inside his head of intrusive thoughts to his lack of understanding basic things in conversation. Everything just makes me think that he’s written to be so very neurodivergent.

It also has plenty of references and easter eggs for the studious nerd with my favorites being the alien’s sideway blinking from Men in Black and his use of Urban Dictionary to understand human speech.

Anyway the show is called Resident Alien and it’s on Netflix. I give it 8/10 red dwarf stars

[reborrowing]

How do you actually go about making conlang?

A love of language and probably some confidence that borders on hubris.

(this is kinda long and rambly and probably points to me not being inclined to teaching but)

I think conlanging is something works best if you jump straight into it, as long as you’re willing to learn as you go. Imo, there’s not a single “right” way to make a conlang, but there’s a dozen “wrong” ways that you only really discover/understand when you try them.

Really, step one isn’t going to be making anything, so much as deciding what you want the language to do. Are you trying to create a certain aesthetic for a given race/species? Are you experimenting with how communicate works—how to express emotions, maybe, or honesty or clarity or efficiency? Are you building off of a pre-existing language? Are you playing with grammar? With sound? What you want to do with a conlang should determine where you’re going to focus (and might also point out some blind spots). You should also think at least a little bit about who’s going to speak the language but imo that has the biggest impact when creating your words.)

Like, for Kíkítok, my first page is literally:

Language used by a diminutive people/mouseworld society that exists in parallel with a fictional version of the modern day, typically in urban environments. Culture values resourcefulness, knowledge, tenacity.

Reasonably naturalistic

Possibly toy with sound symbolism and/or ideophones?

Takes loanwords from English, occasionally from Spanish

Reduplication?

And then I looked up cross-linguistic onomatopoeia for mice and searched around for what languages people perceive as “cute” and picked a lot of my sounds from there. It doesn’t have to be too serious.

The actual language creation part is easier if you already have some linguistic background, but that background isn’t necessary. I started conlanging before I studied linguistics. There’s a lot of material out there that explains language building better than I can.

I’m pretty sure I started with Biblaridion’s playlist on how to make a language when I first got into conlanging. I also enjoyed Artifexian’s conlanging videos (It looks like he’s restructured his channel so things aren’t as organized anymore tho).

Zompist’s Language Construction Kit is probably the most-referenced conlanging starter guide. The material is free on the website and also available as a book if you prefer. (If you’re buying books, I really liked David J. Peterson’s The Art of Language Creation. But. Money.) It’s been awhile since I’ve been on reddit, but when I was, r/conlangs had a ton of useful references to work with.

Once you get the basics of a language down, most of your time will probably go into lexicon/dictionary building. It’s so overwhelming. I recommend keeping track of how you’re forming your words even though I’m super lazy about it. (It’s why I recommend it, I end up unhappy with some of my stuff lol). There are so many words. You will never ever have enough words. The last time I was working on mouse in the basement, I found out Kíkítok has three words for kill/cause-to-die but no words for injure or pain? Ugh.

Language is huge and majorly interconnected, so there's not really a single good entry point for starting a conlang. Especially early in the process, you end up going back and forth as other parts of the conlang evolve. You kind of have to just start somewhere, whether it’s sentence structure or a couple of words, and be open to the idea of changing things later. But! Do write everything down. It doesn’t matter how intuitive something seems when you first think it, you won’t remember your own reasoning. And it's fun to see how the language changes over time!

[ihhfhonao3]

I don’t wanna overwhelm you with requests,

But I can’t find a Latino Apollo fic where he speaks fluent Spanish. It’s fine if you don’t write it though I understand. :)

Here ya go! Under the cut! Also ummm sorry but I made him smug. Smugpollo is real. Spoilers for aa6, mention of Polly's mom and dad. And no, you're not overwhelming me at all!

To Klavier, Apollo was sometimes a very confusing rival.

Well, most rivals, Klavier thought, are confusing at times. Most rivalries are quite stupid, really. But most of them are friendly and civil, and they intend to make each other better people. Or so says Urban Dictionary.

But when Klavier really thought about it, his rivalry with Apollo was a bit… strange, to say the least. Strange in the sense that they maybe-kinda-sorta flirted with each other. Klavier flirting in German and Apollo flirting in Spanish, respectively, which were both languages that the other did not understand. That definitely didn’t seem normal for rivalries.

To a point, they had an unwritten rule, that wasn’t even ever established, but simply assumed, stating that they were never to look up the English translations of each other’s linguistics. This made everything immensely harder, as what each man was saying to the other could be anything from insults to affection to flat-out calling the other hot.

And Klavier knew that he definitely had called Apollo hot before. But only in German, so it flew right over Apollo's beautiful head.

But only recently was when Klavier started wondering if Apollo was doing the same with him when he spoke Spanish in court.

Klavier didn’t always think about the possibility of such. It actually occurred to him in a dream. A rather… embarrassing one at that. To spare the details, Apollo was shouting in the courtroom, but he could only speak Spanish, and Klavier could only speak German. They yelled at each other in their different languages, the jury chanting and laughing behind them. Apollo and Klavier also happened to be naked in the dream, but Klavier would rather forget about that part.

…Dream Apollo did have nice abs, though… and very nice soft brown skin. Did Klavier really want to forget all of that?

Klavier shook his head vigorously as he was snapped back into reality, and he was quite literally snapped back because he heard the lead on his pencil break.

“Ach…” Klavier rubbed his temple as he tossed the pencil to the side. For some reason, he felt the sudden urge to call his rival.

And that was the other thing. At some point in their rivalry, they started calling each other regularly and kinda-maybe-sorta-not really going on dates together. The dates were completely platonic, seriously!

But every time Klavier said that, he knew that he was simply lying to himself. If he was being honest, he’d give his ring finger to feel the soft lips of his rival pressed against his own, as the man in the red suit pinned him against a wall…

Klavier made a mental note to try to not think about Apollo when he’s on the clock. He’s far too distracting. Alas, his emotions won against his better judgment.

~~~

Apollo picked up at the second ring, hurrying over to the agency’s front desk at the sudden occurrence of a certain co-worker not doing her job.

“Athena is supposed to be manning this desk… ay, mi hermana,” Apollo grumbled as he switched into his professional recieving-a-client voice. 

“Hola, er… I mean, hello, this is the Wright Anything Agency,” Apollo cringed at his slip into Spanish. “Apollo Justice speaking. How may I help you today?”

“Herr forehead!” Klavier shouted, trying to trick Apollo into mistaking his nervousness for confidence. “How lovely it is to hear your voice today.”

“Ah, Señor guitar!” Apollo grinned into the phone. “It’s lovely to hear your voice as well.”

There was a beat of silence. 

“Ah, so…” Klavier said after a moment. “Would you like to go over some case files with me later today? I could help you piece together the culprit…”

“I’d love that, mi amor,” Apollo said coolly. “Six o’ clock?”

“Sounds great,” Klavier replied. “I’ll see you then, Schatzi.”

As soon as the pet name left his mouth, Klavier hung up immediately and screamed into his jacket.

“You! Need! To stop! Calling! Your rival! German! Pet names!” Klavier shouted to himself, smacking his forehead with his palm

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on Klavier’s office door, which jolted him out of his frustration.

“Ach, you can come in…” Klavier grumbled. A certain disgruntled detective made her way in, noisily munching on snackoos.

“Oi, fop,” Ema said, dropping some files onto Klavier's desk. “Updated autopsy report, from Mr. Edgeworth himself. He says ‘please go over this before your next trial.’”

“Ah, danke, Fräulein detective…” Klavier said softly, dropping his head down to his desk.

Ema turned to leave, but then stopped. “Oh, and hey fop…”

“Ja?”

“I know you really badly want to get your lips on Apollo’s ass, but maybe try and use the time together tonight to figure out whatever the fuck you two have going on. I’m tired of hearing you guys literally profess your love to each other without the other one knowing what it means.”

With that, Ema exited and slammed the door shut, leaving Klavier with nothing but his files and very red cheeks.

~~~

“This craft shop worker is giving me bad vibes,” Apollo muttered, staring intently at the photo of the murder weapon laid out on the table.

“And why is that?” Klavier asked, hunched over next to Apollo. “One could easily assume that the hairdresser you’re defending did it. Hairdressers use scissors all the time.”

“But look!” Apollo pointed at the image. “There’s many different types of scissors. The one in this picture is clearly a pair of felt scissors!”

Klavier squinted. “Mein gott… you’re right!”

“And who uses felt scissors in their day-to-day lives?” Apollo asked proudly.

“People working with felt and cloth!” Klavier responded. “Like, perhaps…”

“A craft shop worker!” The two said in unison.

The pair laughed. 

“Ay, caramba…” Apollo mumbled. “This one sure was a little tough, but… you were a huge help, Señor guitar.”

Klavier felt his face lightly flush. “Ah, well… I’m glad that I could be of assistance, Herr forehead.”

Klavier looked away and pretended to be immersed in the images laid out before him, but even as he didn’t make eye contact he could feel Apollo staring at him.

“So, uh… where do you get your heritage from?” Klavier asked, ad-libbing to hide his blush.

Apollo lit up. “Oh! My dad… um, my biological dad… was from Spain. He was born and raised there. Or so I hear.”

“Oh, really? That’s quite interesting,” Klavier beamed, now finally looking at Apollo again.

“Yeah, and my um… My biological mom is from Borginia. I think. I don’t really know.”

Klavier chuckled softly. “Not close with your parents?”

Apollo sighed. “No, I… never really knew them. Even now, I… kinda know my mom? But I dunno, I feel like it’s too late. The agency is more family to me than my biological family- or my adoptive one, at that- could ever be.”

Apollo sighed again, but then turned around to plop down on the couch. “What about you? Where are your parents from?”

Klavier sat down next to Apollo. “I don’t really know, and I really don’t care. I mean…” Klavier paused, rethinking his aggressive language. “I’m not on good terms with my family.”

Apollo nodded. It seemed like he got it, but all he said was “Ah.”

They sat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for a moment, Klavier tugging at his hair and Apollo fiddling with his bracelet, until Apollo spoke up.

“Mi vida, I mean… Klavier, I… I have something to confess,” Apollo stammered as he turned to face the taller man. 

“...Ja?” Klavier asked. He felt his face flush again.

Apollo took Klavier’s hands in his and sighed. He was doing a lot of that tonight. “Klavier I… this whole time? When I call you names in Spanish? I’ve… I’ve actually been flirting with you.”

Klavier internally gasped and felt his jaw drop a little bit.

“Lo siento, lo siento, I know I shouldn’t…” Apollo said frantically. “But I… you’re almost irresistible, as cheesy as that sounds. But I understand if you don’t feel the same way…”

“No, no, Apollo, NEIN!” Klavier shouted. “Apollo, mein Liebling, this whole time I’ve been flirting with you too!”

“...Huh?”

“Liebling, Schatzi, Hase, they’re all German pet names! As in, they’re things you’d call your lover…”

“I… Mi amor, mi vida, y mi luz, they’re the same! Spanish pet names for lovers!”

The two stared at each other for a moment.

“...What does this mean for us, then?” Apollo suddenly asked, hands still holding on to Klavier’s.

“Well… do you… d-do you like me? Like that, I mean?” Klavier stammered.

“Sí, I… I do. And um… do you like me back the same way?”

“Ja. I do.”

The two sat there, holding hands and looking at each other, averting eyes yet still meeting them.

“Oh, fuck this,” Apollo groaned, and stood up. “Klavier Gavin, will you go on a date with me?”

Klavier didn’t waste a second. “Yes.”

[moonjxsung]

✨💖Star, my love!!💖✨

So, I was hanging out with a couple of my male friends and dude 1 started asking if he was gay for wanting to try docking; and I didn’t know what it meant but the other guys did and all went “yes, absolute”. So I asked what it meant and they didn’t tell me, so I said if they didn’t I would look it up and half of them had a look of horror and the other of amusement. So I looked it up on urban dictionary and it is so unbelievably funny how it’s written: “intermingled juices”, “chinese finger ‘handcuffs’”, “tip to tip encased”. It’s all just too much and the example quote takes me OUT!!😭😭😂😂

Also, I don’t know if I ever told you but I am 1000% injury prone. I can be doing nothing and still find a way to get hurt (although I’ve somehow never broken a bone??). So example, earlier today I was sitting on my bed and I had a machete next to me (safety since I’m a girl and people be crazy), and I kinda forgot it was there and kicked my foot up and stabbed myself with it….

It’s more deep than long so I just grabbed a wet napkin and held it tightly against it to try and stop the bleeding (lol took 10 minutes) while sliding along the floor to the first aid (why is everything to highhh??😭), and while I way trying to put Neosporin on the gauze my hand was shaking so hard that I dropped the tube 3 times so I was laughing really hard from that cause I found it so funny how in character is was for me.😂😂

But I’ll survive *shrug*. It was so funny sending my friends the message of what I’ve done and their reactions just being “BRO WHAT?? GET YO ASS TO THE HOSPITAL OR SMTH”, “WHAT THE FRICK”, or my personal favorite “lol, loser”

-🌕🌊

“TIP TO TIP ENCASED” IS CRAZYYYY IT’S GIVING MLM FANFIC 😭😭😭😭

Also I had to read that second part like three times because wym A MACHETE???? WHO JUST HAS A MACHETE NEXT TO THEIR BED PLEEWAASKDKKEEKE ARE YOU OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭 did the bleeding stop and is there a big gash or anything also ARE YOU LITERALLY OKAY TO LIKE…. WALK. AND EXIST

GET WELL SOON MY LOVE I KNOW YOU’RE CASUAL ABOUT IT BUT THAT GENUINELY SOUNDS SO SCARY IM GLAD IT WASNT WORSE OSKKXLDKDKDK your friends’ reactions sound exactly like what my friends would say though. Particularly “lol loser”. FELT

[elishaoloapu]

Book.

Statement

A buck and a vision, is my attempt at recreating my childhood growing up in Otahuhu South Auckland, Through photographs. A lot comes into mind when I think about this particular area I call home. Home comes with a whole lot of characters and personalities like dealers, doctors, hustlers and dreamers. And although the inevitable impact of gentrification has changed some aspects of this place, I want to document what was left of it and tell its stories through a photograph. Visually I want to take the audience on a tour around my “HOME” truthfully through these photographs. Let them view it from the eyes of someone who's lived there their whole life,  And not listen to these media reporters who show up when shit hits the curb.

Book opens up two locations that are notorious to Otahuhu, the monument of Charles Fergusson. AKA “the horse” and the Rec-center AKA “Ota-Hoops”, Names the locals call these spots. These areas played a huge part of my childhood and have shaped the very man that I am today. Especially the Rec-center, a place that I can go to with a few of my mates and shoot hoops late at night without worrying about anything.  

Then followed by a dairy on “High street” and the bro “Ravi”, People like these in South Auckland who get to witness the growth of kids into youth are the unsung heroes of any area. Along with every local self-runned business owner in the hood. I'm certain you can ask them and they can point out which kids grew up around locally and who didn't, and that's something special.    

The next set of photographs is showcasing Otahuhu in the night. I opted to go for the night to showcase its beauty, The Train Station, Otahuhu Shopping Strip and the Recreational Center. Also there is this real calmness about documenting this busy street while it's sleeping. The Lighting and emptiness of the streets is just so captivating.  

Seaside where I currently reside is the bright side of Otahuhu. Quite a nice little neighborhood, I say bright side because it's the east side of my childhood and would always joke around saying that that's where the sun shines first. But with all honesty I believe with my heart that Otahuhu as a whole is the real bright side.

“Struggle and the Hustle” a phase that literally some of the locals live by. Hustle definition via urban dictionary “To strive headstrong and voraciously towards a goal”. Second part of this book series is the hustle lifestyle of my people. I wanted to document this side of my home purely because it's as real as it gets. Many have mixed opinions on what South Auckland is like, In spite of all that, We as a community have always not given a shit about articles and what they call us. And that’s what I want the world to see through these photographs.    

Chapter two opens up with a photograph of an old “T-house” tinny house, Metaphor for a piece of Tin foil that contains Marijana that dealers run. Following are photographs of a few very close childhood friends of mine, Who in my own words are the epitome of the term Hustle. Just boys who are looking to earn their cut and to cater for families, And make the most of what life has offered them this far, legally or illegally.

Last two photographs are of the blue night skies of otablu. Father always told my siblings and I, Growing up that “if we look up and see stars in the night skies, then everything ain't as bad as they seem no matter where you are in the world”.  Lessons that i'll cherish this whole lifetime,  

I guess for me, personally I want my photographs to be an archive of my area's beauty along with the rough, rugged and raw aspects there is to the lifestyle of an ordinary South Aucklander. In terms of portrayal I want to State that in this little part of South Auckland which is called Otahuhu also known as Otablu. Locals all have one objective in mind and that's providing whether it's legal or illegal. Hustle knows no rules and struggle is cruel, It's the world we live in and that's why documenting this certain subject for me is quite an honor, Although this is only an assessment and will have no physical and financial impact on my home, i feel like i’ve done my best at trying to document “the hood”.

Undoubtedly moving forward as a photographer I’ll love to continue this body of work on to more of the other South Auckland suburbs. Also exploring their very own stories and finding their voices through my love and passion for photography. This is my “a buck and a vision”.

[mumms-the-word]

Flawed

Day 19 of the BG3 Fic February Challenge

This is going to be less fic writing and more…exploratory character stuff, a bit of a stream of consciousness deal where I’m finding out stuff as I go. It’s like a glimpse into my brain, kind of

I like writing stuff like this and coming into fun little snippets or turns of phrase that weren't planned but hit just right. There's some of that here, so I hope you like this little exploration of my silly, flawed BG3 children

Check out my masterlist of BG3 fics!

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19. Describe your Tav/Durge's flaws, how companions respond

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Invi

If you ask Invi personally what she considers her biggest flaw to be, she would say that she doesn’t remember, and that her memory loss itself is her biggest flaw. But if you were to watch her from day to day, you will eventually notice little quirks about her that even she doesn’t seem to recognize just yet.

Her indecisiveness, for example. Operating on an almost empty memory bank of herself and the world around her, Invi spends a lot of time in her own head trying to make sense of the people she’s met, the information she’s learned, the landscape she’s navigating, and the decisions that need to be made. It’s a lot to process and so she spends a lot of her time thinking and less of her time acting or reacting.

It drives companions like Lae’zel and Shadowheart up the wall. Lae’zel literally says “Action, not reaction,” as one of her passive phrases (Invi hears it all the time, and eventually it starts to feel like Lae’zel is saying it for her benefit, and not as a personal mantra). Shadowheart likewise prefers when people make decisions and stick with them, no matter the consequences. Both of them might be seen tapping their feet or prodding Invi to make a move whenever Invi gets stuck in her own head and doesn’t know which way to turn.

But in Invi’s defense, she doesn’t want to make the wrong move. She’s already made several “wrong” moves, and that’s not even counting the horrors of her past that she can’t even remember. The fewer mistakes she makes, the better. At least, in her opinion. It takes people like Wyll and Karlach, even Gale, to remind her that mistakes aren’t the end of the world and that dealing with consequences doesn’t have to be so dire when you have friends to help you out. It helps, a little, with her indecision, though it doesn’t fix it.

Astarion, of course, couldn’t care less what happens, so long as something does happen and Invi isn’t letting herself get duped by some sap with a sob story. Invi is clever, observant, and careful, but even she can get sweet-talked into situations. Astarion likes to be there whenever she looks like she’s about to be a little gullible and remind her that ruthlessness is an option, too. She doesn’t always listen (sometimes she does), but she appreciates that he’s looking out for her. Kind of.

And she can be gullible, though not nearly enough to satisfy Astarion early in the game. He chooses her as his mark for seduction because he thinks it’ll be easy. And it is—she finds herself drawn in by his charms almost immediately—but he soon realizes that she isn’t going to say yes to everything he desires, either. Like ascending, for example. She’s inherently distrustful of power, almost to the point of sabotaging herself and her friends’ by trying to stop them from going mad with power, but that’s a story for another time. 

--------------------

Freyr

Freyr has so many flaws. Freyr is nothing but flaws. Freyr is the big, giant red flag that flies at the top of a citadel of flaws. Look up Red Flags in the Faerûnian urban dictionary and it will have his picture there.

He’s cruel. He’s ambitious. He’s really, really into murder. He’s callous. He’s tactless. He’s apathetic about most things. He’s sadistic about everything else. He is Not a Good Man.

He does, however, not act like that towards his friends. While he is dismissive of Gale and Astarion, viewing them as inferior to him, he is immensely respectful of his female friends. When Shadowheart expresses a desire to become a Dark Justiciar, he supports her every step of the way. When Lae’zel decides she wants to murder Orpheus in service to her queen, he thinks it’s a little silly that she wants to be beholden to her goddess, but he’s going to make sure she returns to Vlaakith with Orpheus’s head anyway. He will do anything Minthara asks him to because he trusts in her leadership and thinks her lust for power is sexy as hell. He supports his friend Seraphine’s goals to become an all-powerful necromancer and eventually a vampire consort to an Ascended Astarion. That man drinks Respect Women Juice like water and you can’t stop him.

He only sort of likes Astarion and Gale when they both talk about their ambitious goals. He smiles to himself, thinking they’re pettier goals than the murder-tyranny he’s about to agree to as one of Bhaal��s Chosen, but that’s beside the point.

For the most part, the companions respect him and trust him to work for their benefit, but they also keep their distance a little. Minthara and Seraphine are the only ones who fully trust him. Shadowheart and Lae’zel appreciate many things about him, but they both also sleep with a knife under their pillows, just in case. Astarion thinks Freyr is amusing, and a means to an end. Gale…well. Gale hates Freyr, and Freyr couldn’t care less. 

Freyr does find it grimly satisfying that Gale becomes a god of ambition in the end, though. In a world where Freyr rejects Bhaal to pursue his own ambitions, he makes a rather tactless joke to Gale that he ought to be making sacrifices in Gale’s name, now that he no longer does so in Baal’s name. Gale just laughs in his eerie, newly-metallic voice and says that Freyr is like a tressym bringing pigeons to his doorstep as a show of fealty. They depart disliking each other just as much as before.

--------------------

Dani

Dani is motivated by a selective greed, operates on her own brand of stubbornness, and can occasionally be reckless, despite her best efforts not to be. She’s as flawed as they come, but she’s also kind of endearing in her flaws since she makes up for it in loyalty, humor, and support.

That said, money is one of the main motivators of action for Dani. She will absolutely shake down a rich patriar for his coinpurse (or distract him with a few tricks or songs while Astarion picks his pockets) simply because she feels like he deserves the shakedown. She views tasks with a mercenary’s eye for wages and benefits rather than agreeing to help just because it’s the right thing to do. She has to get something out of it. Wyll and Karlach might be seen shaking their head while she ponders whether or not to agree to complete a task, since they’d rather she just say yes and get on with it.

She won’t extort refugees or people in need, though, because she feels like those are her people. She doesn’t mess with her people. And anyway, helping them out feels like it helps her out too, so she doesn’t feel like she’s working for nothing.

Her greed grates on some of her companions’ nerves. Astarion and Shadowheart find it amusing and are ultimately in favor of it since Dani’s greed trickles down to their pockets too. Others, like Gale or Karlach, find it dubious but sometimes warranted or necessary. If it’s a practical sort of thing, Gale usually doesn’t mind, for example (what’s a few stolen health potions in the grand scheme of things?). Karlach sort of evaluates Dani’s actions based on whether she thinks the person deserved it or not. She and Dani rarely disagree, but it’s possible that occasionally Dani’s target for theft doesn’t actually deserve it in Karlach’s mind. If pressed about it, however, Dani will stand her ground and defend her choices with sometimes unrelenting stubbornness.

Her stubbornness could rub any of her companions the wrong way, depending on what she’s being stubborn about. Is she being stubborn about not going to a certain Githyanki creche location, for example? Obviously this creates tension between her and Lae’zel. If she’s being stubborn about how she wants to handle particular encounters, this can distance her and her other companions. Her stubbornness about not wanting Gale to use the crown of Karsus becomes a source of much argument until they eventually find common ground on the matter. Most of the time Gale finds her stubbornness adorable. When it comes to the crown, not so much.

As for her recklessness, well. Everyone’s gotten annoyed at her at some point about it. Like that time she stole the Blood of Lathander before realizing it would set off a self-destruct protocol in the temple (which she promptly put an end to, before the temple actually exploded). Or that time she called Nere a Twat-Soul and triggered a fight before they were actually ready to fight. Or the time she blew up blew up the top floor of a fireworks shop in Baldur’s Gate, conveniently ending a Banist explosives operation at the same time but also very nearly setting the guard on them. Or every time she’s accidentally triggered a trap because she rushed in before she used her eyes. 

Her companions love her because she’s ride or die for them, but sometimes they wish she would think a little more carefully before she makes decisions.

--------------------

Ardynn

She’s not a perfect person, but her flaws are a little more on the subtle side. Ardynn is a very independent person, especially in the beginning, since she’s used to living on her own. She forgets that she can ask for help for things, which exasperates those who can usually do the task better than her. Lockpicking or disarming, for example. She can do it, but Astarion can do it better, and break fewer tools in doing so. Her companions soon learn to ask if they can help her do something if they want that task done faster, since otherwise she’s try to tackle it until she gets it done.

She’s also a little gullible. Having lived in the woods in isolation for a while, navigating different communities and cultures is a little difficult for her. She’s both slow to trust and a little too trusting at the same time. She’ll agree to help before realizing that she’s been duped. Usually a savvier character, like Astarion, Karlach, Shadowheart, or Gale will point out that she might have fallen for another trick. Astarion, Shadowheart, and Lae’zel get more than a little annoyed about it since it drags them into messes too, but Ardynn starts to field dishonesty from others a bit better as she travels with her companions. By the time she’s in Baldur’s Gate, she actually thinks that everyone is trying to trick her, which makes her that much more untrusting. Ironically she might have retained a bit more trust had her companions not cautioned her so much.

She’s also a teeny, tiny bit racist about dating humans, which is a bit ironic since she’s a half-elf who adored her human father. She doesn’t want to date humans because she doesn’t want to outlive her romantic partner, the way her mother outlived her father. She’s scared of that kind of grief, the grief of watching someone grow older while you remain young, and she doesn’t think she can handle it. So she inevitably gravitates to Halsin, who she knows can outlive her, and is a little ashamed to turn down Wyll and Gale, both of whom confessed to her, without granting them a proper explanation. She enjoys their friendship, especially her friendship with Wyll, but she feels she can never admit out loud to them that she refuses to attach herself romantically to a human simply because they’re human and she’s not.

In the end, she still tries to be a helpful person, but her view of all life as existing on an equal plane sometimes gets in the way of her goals. She can, and will, stop to talk to an animal on the way to some important task and very nearly jeopardize the task in the process. Her companions have learned it’s better not to remind her that “they’re just cats” or “you don’t have to talk to every bird you see” since a rare show of stubbornness will activate and she’ll just tell you to go on without her, then. Halsin, of course, thinks it’s very cute and usually joins her conversations with the animals.

[eriellesudario]

I’ve been accused of being a ‘fake fan’

I was accused of being a ‘fake fan’ on Twitter.

Backstory

To know what happened, we need to go back to last weekend where there was some drama arising in regards to a video game feature. I won’t go much into it but just know, it caused a huge uproar. There was cyberbullying and harassment and you have to be very careful with your words if you want to make an opinion.

Significant people decided to deactivate (not delete) their accounts and some decided to block people. I’ve noticed my following count was dropping so I’ve decided to investigate.

Most of them were caused from deactivations but one of them caused by a block. It’s funny that they only blocked my 2nd account but not my main so that was helpful in my search for answers.

I assumed it was because I might have said something wrong when I stated my opinion. But when I checked their followers/following they didn’t block people who said harsher things. So I was confused, was it an accident?

Then they’ve decided to do this mass tweet on what they were feeling and it ended with them saying around the lines of:

“I just lost xxx followers. Ha! Get the fakes out of here #NoRegrets #SorryNotSorry”. Yall are just a bunch of fakes using me for clout! If you really supported the project, yall should have done it from the start! Now I see what y’all really like… a bunch of fakes!

Sadly, all of those tweets were deleted. I have a screenshot of one of them (cuz there was a lot) but I’m not gonna post it because I don’t want to cause more issues.

But all I can say, I can pretty assume that this person thought I was a fake fan, just using them or something like that.

I’m not a fake fan

I’m not a fake fan based on the assumption this person said towards me. I know in context, they mean people who didn’t support the project since the start but never in my life I said I hated it. All I said was “it just wasn’t for me”.

I guess their issue was that I started supporting the game last minute and is kinda behind in their facts. And that’s just sad because not everything in my life has to be 100% dedicated towards something.

And after seeing that tweet, you now know that I was accused in the CLUB PENGUIN COMMUNITY. Look, I played the game when I was 9 in 2007, just months before Disney bought it. I had to move countries for crying out loud not to mention worry about my exams and university. Does it look like I have time to memorize EVERY SINGLE DETAIL?!?! Does it look like I could afford MEMBERSHIP???

Smh…

Growing up, things change

When I was in the Phandom, I was obsessed. I needed to know every tiny detail there was and it was life-consuming. It was so bad that I wasn’t allowed to read ‘The Amazing Book is Not on Fire‘ when it arrived in my house just so I could focus on my final exams.

It wasn’t that long till I understood how bad it was, this obsession, this commitment towards something or someone. Yeah it was benificial in some cases but at the same time, it was toxic.

Same for Club Penguin. I couldn’t play it or any other online video game because at the time, the internet is really expensive. NBN was being installed, there were no unlimited plans, and whenever I do play the game, we’d pass our data usage when we have assignments due the next day.

So when I get accused on being fake for missing out on things due to IRL events, it’s kinda depressing and sad to see. You’re telling me that I’m not a true fan unless I was there throughout EVERY SINGLE MOMENT as well as have all my facts correct and be a part of the community.

Just saying that, its literally equivalent to saying “You can’t be a TRUE Eurovision fan unless you know 60+ years of 40+ countries’ political, social, cultural, and entertainment history“. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!

And funny enough… that was a topic discussed when the SBS Eurovision Fans Facebook page was first created last year.

Guess what… EVERYONE DISAGREED TO BE TESTED JUST TO SEE IF YOU’RE A REAL FAN!!!

What is a fake fan then?

According to Urban Dictionary, a fake fan is

No, it does not mean a person who joined the fandom all late or only enjoys certain songs of a band/artist. A fake fan is someone who harasses people or calls them out in an immature/inappropriate way

So basically… someone who attacks someone because they don’t fit their ideals of what a true fan is.

Also keynote: IT DOEST NOT MEAN A PERSON WHO JOINED THE FANDOM ALL LATE!!!

So basically… I’M NOT A FAKE FAN FOR CLUB PENGUIN OR EUROVISION OR LAZYTOWN OR DAN AND PHIL OR ANYTHING!!!

Just because I’ve decided to join a community late doesn’t mean I’m a fake. If that was the case, then wouldn’t all the new LazyTowners who joined due to the WANO memes count as fake since the LazyTown community was a thing?

Just because I don’t know all the facts or seek help doesnt mean I have zero interest. If this is true, then the BTS Army should have killed me by now.

Me listening to BTS for the first time

Just because I want to follow significant/huge people in the community doesn’t mean I’m seeking clout. If that was the case, me following Steg should be a bad thing.

Just because I’m clueless about what’s going on or not knowing what I’ve missed doesn’t mean I’m ignorant. 2 of my classmates + my cousin should’ve behead me just because I watched Doctor Who a month before “The Day of the Doctor“.

I’m not a fake fan… and neither are you

I did a test over in Popbuzz to see if I was a fake fan and pretty much gave in the answers that relate to me (knowing the albums, being too poor to go to the gigs, but being able to buy merch)

You are not a fake fan because you’re clueless or you were late or if your fan art is very different. It’s those who attack or call you out or shame you for it who’s fake.

By this point, I blocked the person who categorised me as a fake when in reality, I did nothing wrong but just joined the party during the final months.

There is this post over at Amino where the writer talks about fake fans in the BTS Army. You should know that BTS is a REALLY HUGE FANDOM!!! It’s overwhelming for me to join it but I love their music. Reading that post just assured me that I’m all good. That just liking the music or having Suga as my bias and only fave band member is OKAY!

So if one of the biggest fandoms in all of mainstream pop culture can accept noobs like me, then why should one person in a community where the whole point of the game was to BE A COMMUNITY dictate if I was a true fan or not?

You are never a fake fan

Don’t be afraid if you’re late to the party or have different opinions. As long you don’t say stuff that could really harm their feelings, you’re all good. We are all entitled to our own opinions, just go too far about them.

If you fear that you’re not a true fan because you’re left behind, guess what? There are other people out there who also have no idea what’s going on as well. New people joining every day because they’re interested. Don’t let someone dictate what kind of fan you are.

Because in the end… THEY’RE THE FAKES!

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

bakugou icks:

- holds his spoon like a 4 yr old. like, hand curled into a fist around it. hunCHES OVER HIS FOOD LIKE AN ANIMAL TO SHOVEL IT INTO HIS MOUTH FASTER

- has never worn a belt willingly in his life,, will never wear one by choice. no matter how busted his pants look.

- when he gets the hiccups bakugou gets genuinely angry at himself. literally hitting his legs in frustration, face scrunching up n flaring red like he’s dying over sum goddamn hiccUPS

- i’m sorry but,,,, holDS HIS PHONE LIKE A BOOMER. literally 25 inches away from his face, minimum. always squinting at acronyms being used in the gc,, has to look them up on fucking urbAN DICTIONARY

- this man is constantly clenched up. i mean like, flat ass, square ass, pants dont fit right ass bc he’s clenching up both cheeks sm

- bakugou literally has a meltdown every single time theres a stray hair on him. like he just thinks it’s gross so he’s there trying to pick it off but it keeps sticking to his fingers and he’s shaking his wrist, practically breaking it while his face goes red like he’s gonna cry

- eats like a mf animal so bakugou gets food stuck in his teeth all the time. what makes it even worse is that he never waits to use a dental pick to remove the food, he’ll just stick his entire hand in his mouth and dig around while still at the table with u

- feels extremely pressured if u watch him tie his shoes,, so he fumbles over it like twice, at minimum, and then screams bloody murder at you to stop looking

- mf has entire arguments with people in his head and if bakugou isn’t careful, he will scream his retorts out loud

- puts the neck of his shirt in his mouth and chews. this happens every single time he sits down to watch tv. when he gets up he’s always got this giant dark spot on his shirt bc of his spit

- refuses to clip his toenails and tears them instead. tells u it’s “quicker” but its literally not and he looks like a child all curled up and picking at his feet

- one time y’all visited his home together and u watched mitsuki scream at him. bakugou hardly said anything during the argument (bc she’d literally sleep him if he did) but when he stormed back into ur room, he did shut the door behind him. Closed it gently instead slamming it like he clearly wanted to, and turned around to silently flip off his door like a child throwing a fit☹️

- you’ve seen this man ram his shoulder into just about every doorway on the planet. it might be that he’s not paying attention, or maybe he just has rlly poor spatial awareness, but either way bakugou is runnin into everything

- bakugou def has a favorite romance manga,,, which would be cute, except its actually not bc its a reverse harem one. and when he was younger, lil bakugou wrote all these notes in the margins just tearing all the male love interests apart. v much used that manga as a “what not to do” guide and physically wrote out comments about how he’s better than those guys and what he’d do instead😭😭

- cannot sing for the mf life of him,, but he refuses to admit defeat if y’all go out for karaoke w/ ur friends. just, gets up on stage, and completely embarrasses himself the second the mic is put in his hands. runs back to the table tho and genuinely thinks he did good

- i,, no i am so sorry for this one but its, like, its true,,, BAKUGOU COMES CRIMINALLY CLOSE TO EATING HIS SCABS. SOMETIMES HE ACTUALLY DOES (fight me on it idc, look me in the face and tell me im wrong. u cant bc im not wrong. just think about it for literally half a second)

—/—

pls y’all im begging u, drop me some bakugou icks of ur own ,,,, im literally fueledTM by how weird he is

[thegracelessfaceless]

Hi! Not sure how this works but can you do sally face with a twink bf?

Ive never asked before so idk if im doing some sorta thing wrong XD if i am please let me know!

Ofc Teacup! And you did it right! Also, I'm very honored to be your first ask, so we're gonna do this up right 💙.

⡷SДL FISHΞЯ ЩIΓH Д ΓЩIИҜ БФУFЯIΞИD⢾

So honestly, from the definitions I've found on Urban Dictionary, I think Sal's a bit of a twink too. (I know what a twink is btw, I just grabbed some definitions)

I mean 👀

Plus, Sal's just so accepting of everything and everyone that you could literally be anyone or anything, and he'd be fine with it, unless it was hurting you or anyone else

Who is he to judge?

So yeah, babe, be the biggest twink if you want to, he'll support it

It's not like he's gonna turn down that body either (a man has needs)

Affectionately calls you Twinkie (explained in nsfw section)

I feel like Sal would spend a lot of time taking you to different thrift shops and copious hours at the mall helping you construct your perfect look.

He's also gonna help you with your food choices. Don't be like him and eat everything without regard to consequences.

He'll make sure you get the vitamins and nutrients you need, so his diet will probably change with yours.

Lots of vegetables and salad because no one likes to bloat in tight clothes.

Sally's gonna get a real kick out of showing you off

He calls the two of you 'Beauty and the Beast'

Will promptly kick the ass of anyone that makes stupid, homophobic remarks at you. Nope, he's not standing for that shit.

Will probably try to encourage you to be Travis' friend

He's really a good guy, just scared and his home life isn't the best.

So you spend a lot of time on double dates with Travis and Will (BISO).

Nsfw (under the cut)

Calls you Twinkie because you're sweet, snack sized, and full of cream filling

Is a switch in bed and you can't change my mind.

Has a small collection of toys that the two of you share (plugs, "personal massage wands", flavored, body paints, etc) that Sal keeps in an inconspicuous shoebox under the bed.

And lube. Lots and lots of lube. Enough to turn the hall into a slip and slide if you wanted it

Sal is also the King of Aftercare. He'll clean you up afterwards, make sure you're hydrated, happy and fed.

Then he's gonna cuddle up with you and play his Gear Boy with you, taking turns with every death

Sometimes Sal purposefully dies and surrenders his turn so you can play for a while.

Always up for new experiences, Sal is willing to try anything at least once in the bedroom with you

The few things he won't do: hitting/punching/slapping, humiliation, degradation, and things of that nature. Sal respects you and you respect him too much to be into any of that

While he appreciates your visage, Sally is a very tactile lover (bad eyesight) and knows your body as well as his own

This makes for very intense lovemaking and foreplay.

I hope you like these! Of course if you want anything more specific, feel free to DM me and we can hammer out the details. Nothing but love to you 💙!

[ishouldreallybeelsewhere]

I Don’t Dance; An Analysis

By someone with no idea what they’re doing

Can I just say,,, this song slaps. Like, ignore everything,, all the connections, all the subtext, all the whatever, this song (I Don’t Dance from High School Musical 2) is just rlly good. I’ve been listening to it a lot (shocker) and I have to say, perhaps pop isn’t so bad. I’m lying, of course, rock forever, but also not the point. Now, onto what I was actually planning on talking about.

Songs can say a lot, especially when paired with dances, and to see the full meaning of a song, one must look past it’s surface level meaning and dive deep into the subtext. Contextually, the song makes sense as just talking about baseball, but on a surface level only. Look into it for even a moment and you’re sure to find all the queer subtext you need to confirm the theory that High School Musical as a whole is a metaphor for accepting your queer identity.

A quick overview of the song; it starts as a friendly game of baseball between Ryan and Chad, the dancer and the jock. That’s fairly straight-forward, and as they play, Ryan encourages Chad to dance, insisting that he can and should, while dancing in ways that enhance his own playing. I should mention right now, I know fuck-all about baseball. I learnt to spell it, like, 15 minutes ago. It should not be spelt like that. Regardless, I’m gonna do my best to some-what grasp/avoid the thing entirely. Anyway, I’m getting off track. Back to what I was saying, the song is Ryan encouraging Chad to dance, in a somewhat flirtatious matter. The song ends after a dance routine involving the entirety of both teams, and then, in the following scene, Chad and Ryan are shown having a good time, talking and laughing while eating lunch, WEARING EACH OTHER’S CLOTHES!! If someone can give me a heterosexual explanation for that,,,, don’t.

Now, for what I’ve been meaning to get to; what does the song actually mean? (I use the phrase ‘Now,’ at the start of a lot of sentences, sorry in advance.)

Obviously, it’s about accepting your queer identity and living your life to its fullest, not allowing the heteronoramilty of the world hold you back. Anyone who’s ever watched the movie can tell you that, however, as is the way with any piece of explanatory writing, I have to assume that you’ve never even seen any of the movies (heathen).

The plot doesn’t matter. I don’t care about all but four characters, Zeke, Sharpay, Chad, and Ryan. This will primarily be about the latter two, and their own acceptance of who they are.

From the start, Ryan is flamboyant and feminine, the archetype of a gay man, as ‘subtlety’ isn’t really a thing in High School Musical. Less so in the sequel, aside from the sub-text of course, but they had to get that past Disney’s censors. Also, Ryan is one of the ‘villains’ of the trilogy, meaning that he can be queer-coded as much as the writers desire. Off track once again. I apologise. No I don’t. Anyway, Ryan is a theatre kid. The theatre kid, excluding his sister, of course, but as I said previously, Sharpay is not the topic of today’s discussion. Why is theatre so important you ask? Well, not only is the whole point of the trilogy theatre and musicals, but it’s often associated with queer identity, gay men, and femininity. While that is not true, necessarily, it works well as a metaphor and for subtext in the series. Ryan’s theatre/dance-centered personality is made as such because he is one of the few openly gay students in the movie. Theatre and dance, in this context, are queer. And Ryan is incredibly open with his sexuality, especially after he steps out from his sister’s shadow and comes into himself, realising who he is in his entirety.

Chad is on the opposite side of the spectrum. He’s, to put it bluntly, a Chad. Sporty, masculine, ‘straight’, everything he’s expected to be, but, secretly, he knows that that’s not quite true. He’s likely bisexual, as we never recive a label I will refer to him as such, and he knows this about himself. He accepts it, but refuses to act on it, or really acknowledge it, so it is not true acceptance. He is still hiding and suppressing part of himself, dancing only when everyone around him is doing the same, conforming to the heterosexual society that we all must reside in. So much of who he appears to be centered around sport and straightness, but after he is left by his closest friend (Asshole Troy. My cousin stunt-doubled Zac Effron once lol) he’s unsure where to go, and accepts an offer to play a friendly game of baseball against Ryan.

Ryan knows that Chad is bi. He knows that Chad is suppressing and hiding a part of himself, and, on some level, understands what that’s like, and knows how harmful that can be, and takes it upon himself to change that, and the game begins. Literally. And of all games, it’s baseball, one of the only sports I know filled to the brim with euphemisms and gay slang, and let me tell you, I know very little about both things, but I did actaully do research before this.

Chad knows what Ryan is trying to do, and rejects it, insisting that he has to ‘just do his thing.’ He steps up, the batter, insisting that he can be straight, that he doesn’t need that other part of himself to feel whole. Ryan sees clearly that this is bullshit.

‘I’ll show you that it’s one in the same, baseball, dancing, same game.’ In this line, Ryan is explaining that Chad doesn’t need to give up his masculinity or his love for sport to live in his true identity, that dancing and baseball are the same thing, different flavours. He can stay who he is while still being true to himself and stop suppressing a part of himself. He’s also flirting, a lot. Saying that he can show Chad what he’s missing.

‘I wanna play ball now, and that’s all. This is what I do. It ain't no dance that you can show me,’ replies Chad, saying how he doesn’t agree, and has no wish to change who he is, regardless of the consequences. He doesn’t think that the two parts of his identity can live in harmony, and he’s gotten this far in life while suppressing his queer side, he can do it forever. Of course, as you likely already know, dear reader, this is far from true, and Ryan has made it his mission to prove that, through song and suspiciously flirtatious dance.

‘You’ll never know, if you never try.’ Ryan now is telling Chad that he’ll never know if he can be happier as an open bisexual if he doesn’t try to expirience life in a different way, and is also telling Chad he’s dtf.

‘There’s just one little thing that stops me every time.’ Chad is on the verge of agreeing, accepting Ryan’s advances, when it cuts to his team, watching him play. He can’t come out, can’t fully accept himself, even if he wants to, without risking rejection from his team, from his friends, and having to possibly leave behind the world of sports that he so loves. The masculinity is fragile in this one, I must say. But his team not backing him up, leaving him behind, that scares Chad more than anything at that point in his life. Even if it is living his truth, he won’t risk the life already built up around him. In his eyes, nothing would truly be worth it. But Ryan won’t give up on him.

Then the pair go back and forth, arguing over whether Chad has it in him to accept it, risk everything to be who he truly is. ‘If I can do this then you can do that.’ Ryan is telling Chad that if he can play baseball while still retaining his queer identity, then Chad can do the same while dancing. Doing one thing does not invalidate or cancel out the other. He can, and should, do both, to become a more complete version of himself. However, Chad’s team is still supporting him only in baseball, at this point in the song anyway.

‘Hey, batter, batter. Hey batter, batter, swing.’ At this point, no one is actually swinging at the ball, showing that this is not what they’re talking about. ‘Swing that way,’ is often used to refer to whom one is attracted to, and Ryan is telling Chad to ‘swing,’ to come to terms with his attraction to men, and to Ryan himself. While they are singing this, Chad is literally approaching first base, not too dissimilar from the bases in a relationship. Like, any other sport, any one at all, and they had to pick this one. Even urban dictionary agrees it’s gay as all hell.

‘Bases loaded, do your dance. It’s easy.’ Here, Ryan is telling Chad that baseball is almost a dance on its own, it requires movement and coordination like dance, and at this point Chad can’t disagree, because the bases are loaded (I do actually know what that means) and he has to hit the ball and free them up, else something happens (reaching the end of my baseball knowledge sorry).

‘I've got what it takes, playin my game. So you better spin that pitch. You're gonna throw me, yeah.’ Here Chad is admitting that Ryan is distracting him, his dance and words throwing him off his game. ‘I’ll show you how I swing.’ Chad is play-flirting now, not-quite-mockingly responding to Ryan while dancing, ever so slightly, while still remaining in the game. He comes closer to accepting it than he has before, but still refusing to truly accept it.

With Ryan’s line, ‘hit it out of the park,’ we return ever so slightly to the literal playing of the game, and Ryan telling Chad to give it his best shot, showing his support despite being on the opposing team. Moments later, members of Chad’s team begin dancing as well, using the movements to enhance their play somewhat, and, subtly, showing their support for dancing and all that comes with it. Chad, however, has still not reached that point.

‘Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance. Swing it out, spin around, do the dance.’ Ryan’s now explaining how connected dancing and baseball really are, how they can easily coexist, of course playing into what Ryan has been trying to convince Chad of the whole time, that he can accept himself and still remain as Chad-like as he wants.

‘I wanna play ball, not dance hall.’ Chad doesn’t care, instead staying steadfast in his position that sport and dance must stay seperate, but his actions betray his words, as, however mockingly it may be, he does in fact dance along to those lines.

‘I can prove it to you til you know it's true. 'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too.’ Ryan is not giving up. He’s trying his best to say that he’s a dancer, sure, but his skills help him on the field. Were he not a dancer, he would likely not be as good at baseball as he is, explaining that if you are repressing a part of yourself, then you are not living up to your full potential, and not living life to its fullest.

‘You’re talking a lot, show me what you got.’ Prove it, Chad is saying as he throws the ball. And Ryan swings, and hits it, sending it far out over the playing field, proving his point, and with that, Ryan relents. Now, as he says he doesn’t dance, he’s dancing with his whole team behind him. They’re showing their support, and the dance becomes almost making fun of his past stance, and now he and Ryan flirt relentlessly through the song, as they dance.

They repeat their banter, all while dancing, and they come extremely close, closer than anyone else in the court, coming closer and closer to first base.

‘You can do it.’ It’s Chad’s team now, dancing behind him, showing their support for him, and insisting that he can dance, he can accept his identity in its whole, and they will still be behind him, still accept him for who he is. Chad and Ryan dance across from each other, back and forth, all of both teams and the crowd, all of them showing support.

Even as it returns to Chad batting, he does so bouncing on his toes to the music, and as he scores a home run, clearing the bases, each of his team members who are on the bases reach home with a flourish, a dance move of their own, even though they themselves are straight. Likely.

However, during the whole song, Ryan and Chad were openly flirting, the song is many things, as Chad knew his sexuality, he just wasn’t comfortable enough to admit it. At first the flirting was jokingly, on Chad’s side anyway, but tensions rise as the song continues, and Ryan makes sure Chad understands that this isn’t a joke, he means it. And that takes a few minutes for Chad to truly accept. The song is about self-acceptance and the chemistry between the two characters, more chemistry than literally any other characters, including Troy and Gabriella.

As the song ends, and Chad scores a home run, winning the game, the two fall over each other at the home base, and it’s over, the scene is anyway, and with the end of the game comes the end of Chad’s suppression. He can finally accept his bisexuality with the knowledge that his team will stay behind him and that he can be happy with a man just as he could with a woman, something that prior to this song, he didn’t truly believe.

And then, in the next scene, Ryan and Chad are wearing each other’s clothes, talking about the game in a far friendlier manner than any previous interaction. Together, they have hotdogs and good conversation, and the swapping of their clothes, including hats, implies that they totally fucked. Not to sound insensitive, obviously, but please, if you can think of any other explanation, please enlighten me.

Now, how does this tie into the rest of High School Musical? I should mention now I’ve not seen the third one and can barely remember the other two. However, I believe I know enough for my point to have some grounds. In this movie trilogy, theatre is queerness, as I have already explained, and conforming to society is heteronormativity. The path of Troy accepting that he loves theatre and basketball at the same time is one of accepting himself in his entirety. While I don’t personally believe that the character himself is queer, it is still a path of acceptance that still resonates with much of the LGBTQ+ community who would watch this movie.

The whole idea of the series is rejecting the status quo and living your life without rejecting any part of yourself. This is taken to another level between Chad and Ryan, someone who has accepted himself completely, and someone who doesn’t want to give up the life he has. There is little else to be said on the matter (LIES! I could talk about this for so long) so it appears time to wrap it up.

I don’t care that much about High School Musical. That may seem surprising, but before this weekend, I couldn’t tell you the character’s names. It is a strange feeling to fall so completely into something that you ignore all schoolwork to write an analysis (strong word) of a clip of a movie. I downloaded the Osu map (after finding it by accident) and played it until I got an S, even tho I’ve had the game only for a couple weeks, barely ever play it, and the easiest version of the map was 2.3 stars. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to it, and I had to finish this piece of writing so I could have some semblance of peace, as all my friends are tired of hearing about it but I need to get my thoughts out. Perhaps now that this is done I can pay attention to the science class that’s been happening around me. I think I’ve said all I can, and I hope that is enough to satisfy my mind. And I am well aware that there is someone out there who has done this with fewer and better words, but I don’t really care.

TLDR; High School Musical 2 is gay, and even more gay than that is Chad and Ryan. Thank you and goodnight.

[we-are-inevitable]

toxic relationship hcs you say?? 😈 i adore this au so much jac

- sometimes they’ll just. argue about nothing into the early hours of the morning, then have hate sex and go to bed angry. jack’s favourite non-apology is to come home with a baggie of coke or something and be like “would this make you feel better babe?”,, whereas davey is probably more likely to actually say he’s sorry, even if he wasn’t really in the wrong in the first place

- davey gets so possessive and jealous when it comes to jack, even when it’s just with his friends that he’s not remotely romantic or sexual with. he knows he’s being irrational, but sometimes he finds himself guilt-tripping jack about it anyways :/

- ok on a slightly different note. not sure how hard of drugs they do in this au,, but some good angst fuel could be one of them ending up in a k hole and the other having absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it. like jack’s completely dissociated and confused and hallucinating so bad that he can’t even move, and davey is pretty high himself and he’s never seen someone get like this before, so he’s freaking out. maybe he even ends up calling one of jack’s friends to help, even though he knows they don’t really like him

kath i hope u know that i am actually in love with you holy SHIT

also just in case, but:

TW: drugs, alcohol, discussion of sexual topics, toxic relationships

okay so right off the bat: jack using drugs to make make davey Not Pissed Off is something that can be so personal,

i feel like i should also establish- for anyone reading this- that jack and david are absolutely horrible people in this au, by the way. i'll get into more on that later.

but yeah, jack knows davey, and jack knows that davey is happier when high, so when davey is high, davey is happy, and davey tends to get high after they fight. it's a constant cycle of anger and drugs and numbness and "i love you" and it's almost disorienting, but they're both too far gone to care at that point.

so, when davey is angry at jack, jack will let him take the first hits from a blunt, or splurge and bring home the "good" coke, or offer to help him shoot up in the bathroom.

BUT when jack is mad at DAVEY, jack tends to be a bit more selfish with his shit. davey's "apologies" are basically him just apologizing so jack will get high with him again, or fuck him again, or smoke with him on the balcony again.

all in all, jack pacifies davey and davey tells jack what he wants to hear. neither are actually sorry.

MOVING ON:

davey getting possessive over jack is ABSOLUTELY something that happens. because, well, davey... doesn't really have anyone else?

he went low contact with his family for jack. he rarely stays at his own dorm when they're first starting their relationship- he's always at jack's- so he doesn't really get along with his roommate anymore. he doesn't talk to people in his classes and lectures. he spends every moment he has with jack, because jack is the only person giving him the attention he needs.

it gets worse when they actually move in together, once they can move out of the dorms.

he gets upset when jack goes to a party without him. he gets upset when jack spends a lot of time with his friends. on the rare occasions that jack's friends want to get high (on weed; they don't do harder shit like jack), david is LIVID when jack comes home smelling like weed- because david wasn't there.

david has a lot of codependence issues.

FINALLY:

alright so full disclosure: i DID have to look this up on urban dictionary.

i imagine that ketamine isn't something that they get their hands on often, but they probably do it a few times; just when jack feels like changing things up a bit.

as for a bad experience: YES

and it would be an interesting role reversal, too, bc jack is usually the one to take care of davey while davey's high. jack is just naturally more experienced; hes been playing with fire since he was fifteen, and davey is still relatively new to this, so more often than not, it's davey who pushes a little too far bc he doesn't know his limits yet.

but thinking about davey having to help jack through a bad trip... GOD kath your MIND

and if davey DOES end up calling one of jack's friends, it's basically futile. they'd insist on getting jack checked out, or taking him to a hospital, or trying to talk jack into getting clean and going to rehab (again), and as bad as it sounds... davey doesn't want that.

jack is his gateway into everything. sex, drugs, alcohol, parties. his entire new lifestyle. davey is, quite literally, addicted to jack.

this is going to sound cliche but

jack is his drug, and david isn't ready to get clean.

also, i'm going to go into some more NSFW stuff down below the cut, so just be warned! (the actual fic isn't going to be sexually explicit, but there are some scenes that are very heavily implied and will be tagged as such.)

so, as you said, the hate-sex is very common.

also okay so like. in this au, davey isn't exactly a virgin when they meet but jack absolutely brings a new side of sex to the table- a side that david has never experienced before.

i'm not going to go into specifics, but jack is just a lot more possessive and aggressive than anything david is used to.

and this isn't just in sexual situations! it's very much applicable to their relationship as a whole.

(i want to clarify- when i say aggressive i don't mean in a Yikes! way, but you should also know that, even though this situation is shitty, david knows his limits. david knows what he wants to accept, and he's very willingly accepting the aggression that jack carries with him. again, not to be graphic, but david is into it. just to clarify!)

but yeah the rough sex is like. their normal

and they're only soft and slow when one of them specifies that it's what they need in that moment- which does happen a few times! particularly when one of them is just,, having a sad day. that's sad sex to them

i am going to stop this here bc i don't want to get too explicit with this answer, but you mentioned hate-sex and i just. have feelings about the sexual side of their relationship (which the fic will get into), and i guess we can use this as a warning for some of the content to come when i actually start posting the fic ?? idk

thank u so much for this ask !! i'm sure this is way longer than u wanted !! but i had so many thoughts !!!!! also feel free to ALWAYS talk to me abt this au because WOW i love it

[adamsvanrhijn]

not to be very annoying, but do you happen to know any good books/resources about lgbt slang/identities in victorian/edwardian/etc england? (i mean, things such as lesbians calling each other "toms" and the like). don't worry if you don't know any, but i just figured i'd ask since this was kinda in your Area Of Interest so you might know some off the top of your head.

the not annoying at all but this is a more complex question than at first glance hahaha

TL;DR: there are many types of queer language / we have way more info about men, who have their own lexicon / this era is widely seen as the era in which the concept of identity is actually coming into play / books list at the end, scroll down til you reach bolded text if you don’t want my commentary.

so when you’re looking at mid 19th - interwar lgbt communities, whether in europe or the uk or the usa it doesn’t really matter bc this is quite universal, you’ve got at least three registers, for lack of an easier word:

how self-identified homosexual, inverted, queer, abnormal etc men (henceforth gay men) speak with each other

how self-identified “” women (henceforth lesbian women) speak with each other

interactions between these groups

these naturally intersect with other socioeconomic class factors.

back to england specifically:

despite legal considerations gay men have the most agency and ability to move around and therefore are more likely to interact with each other and form communities. so now you have additional registers:

upper middle / upper class

middle / lower middle / working class (more registers here but nobody asked me and i promise i will give you recs soon)

again, interactions between them

the latter category has limited applications; most of them have to do with prostitution or casual sex and tend to be about categorizing people in terms of what sex acts they participate in. (this is universally true of most forms of gay slang and/or their origins for obvious reasons) think locker room talk. OR, we’re looking at cross class relationships and how other people view members of cross class relationships. not to generalize bc there are other things than this but what is best documented here is the upper class pov of these interactions

for the first category there is much less slang & unique community language, when you look at letters and works of literature etc etc people are picking and choosing from both medical/psychiatric terminology, which is developing rapidly from the 1860s on, and like, classical works; you get a lot of alluding to things. artistic communities (bloomsbury group, natalie clifford barney’s harem in paris and what have you) meanwhile are sort of all over the map. but bc this isn’t Polite Society talk, most of the sources for this kind of language tend to be limited in scope. which is true for all subculture language really but like in this case, authors of the day who are writing what they know are we think giving a pretty accurate picture of what their actual communities were like... but it’s put through a filter for publication.

by the 20th century urban working class gay men in certain circles are using polari, a subcultural lexicon which came from mid/late 19th century theatre and music hall slang, which came from fairground cant, seafaring , labor slang, Yiddish, cockney, theatre slang, fishmarkets, French, Italian, underground crime rings literally i could go on and there’s lots of debate about this. it’s turn of the century when it comes to be used very widely within the gay community, and while its origins are in london it made it to other uk urban centres fairly quickly. this lasted well into the latter half of the 20th century and is the base for a lot of community slang today, which leads me to

lesbian women, who also used polari, albeit to a lesser extent. these were primarily lesbians who were also in the 3rd camp above - ones who are involved in the community and interacting w/ gay men regularly. (”straight women who work in theatre” is another category of woman polari speakers haha but performance slang went thru many changes and eventually things got p separate so you had fairground & theatre cant and gay subculture slang having similar roots but very distinct in usage)

for lesbian communities the same thing as w gay men applies for the upper classes just to a lesser degree due to the relative lack of a community experienced by women

but a very important point here is that, ESPECIALLY during the victorian period, less so moving into the 20th century, intimate relationships between women are viewed very, very differently than those between men - male relationships have hard and fast boundaries of what is and isnt acceptable, those of women do not. 

the development of identity w/ sexuality for women i think in many ways had a lot more to do with women who expressed their gender differently than women who had intimate exclusive relationships w/ other women 

anyway the point is there unfortunately is no like comprehensive text for All Queer Language at this point in time, nor for the development of sexual identity, and the nature of this field (linguistics + history + sociology about queer stuff) means that a lot of the good work is in academic articles which i do NOT know off the top of my head. :-( but here’s some stuff !!

LIST OF THE ACTUAL BOOKS SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT

ok so these are all nonfiction, mostly academic nonfiction, but i want to stress that contemporary literature is a REALLY good way to get a (often rose tinted but not always) look into subculture and there are many novels that play with and/or poke at the ongoing development of sexual identity, especially in edwardia, especially especially in the 1920s, so if youve got endless time to read on your hands it is absolutely worth poking around there.

i have a list in the works of 1920s literature that has lgbt stuff in it and i realise thats a bit late for you but even so!!

also: compilations of letters, memoirs, etc are like super super invaluable 

anyway ive bolded the most important ones:

Kosofsky Sedgwick, Eve. Epistemology of the Closet. 1990. University of California Press. [required lgbt theory reading, literally the foundation for soooo much]

Marcus, Sharon. Between Women: Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England. 2007. Princeton University Press.

Robb, Graham. Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century. 2003. [this is like, functionally prerequisite reading for any gay male stuff for the 19th century & robb is an excellent popular historian who also has an actual academic background]

Rupp, Leila J. Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women. 2008. NYU Press.

Russett, Cynthia. Sexual Science: The Victorian Construction of Womanhood. 1989. Harvard University Press. [touches on things but is not About sexuality/identity]

these are both already on my downton abbey research list but they both discuss language thruout and identity very thoroughly:

Brady, Sean. Masculinity and Male Homosexuality in Britain, 1861-1913. 2005. Palgrave Macmillan.

David, Hugh. On Queer Street: A Social History of British Homosexuality 1895-1995. 1997. HarperCollins.

for polari, see basically everything paul baker’s done. the 2019 might be the most accessible but i havent read it yet:

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa: A dictionary of Polari & gay slang. 2002. London: Continuum.

Baker, Paul. Polari: The Lost Language of Gay Men (Routledge Studies in Linguistics). 2002. London: Routledge.

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa! The Story of Polari, Britain’s Secret Gay Language. 2019. London: Reaktion.

while it predates the era youre asking about, this book is good reading that leads up to the changes of the victorian era in sexual morality & how that affects identity and language:

Donoghue, Emma. Passions Between Women: British Lesbian Culture 1668–1801. 1995. HarperCollins.

also i hate to do this but like. foucault lol. obviously not focused on britain but very much focused on the development of identity and sexuality. 

ive been working on this for like three straight hours im gonna go eat lunch now

[the-bjd-community-confess]

A person on social media irritates me. I disliked seeing her dolls, I hate her characters, I literally hate everything about her. I took a step back to think about why I hated ara dolls so much, and I came to realize that my hate for her was unwarranted because she did nothing to me, look up b tch eating crackers on urban dictionary for a better explanation. Instead of directing hate towards her; I blocked her on every platform and I feel less negative now. People here should try that first.

~Anonymous

[here-we-blog]

Fic interview tag

tagged by @clarasimone (thanks a lot! ^^)

Name: Mia

Fandoms I write for: Game of Thrones and currently also Loki (Jorleesi & Lokius xD)

Two-shot: (had to google that one, thanks urban dictionary) so, a two shot is basically the same thing as a one shot but with two chapters? cool. I don't write two shots, sorry to disappoint xD BUT I do have a favourite one written by someone else (@fanoftheknight) it's called Come Fly With Me (it's on Ao3) and man, it's great. the perfect Two Shot haha

Most popular multichapter: Jorah's curse - Daenerys Targaryen (also obviously on Ao3)... looking back it's not THAT great, just me writing my first fic ever and having to use a lot of translators and stuff because English is not my native language hA - BUT I must say, that I am indeed proud of it. It's SO LONG and I managed to stay motivated! I didn't only write the whole thing, no, I also translated it, so that's kinda cool yk (took me one year and a half but it was fun, so it was worth it xD)

Actual worst part of writing: Hard one, I never thought about writing having a bad part but right now I'd say finding the right words and formulations? because I sort of stopped writing stuff in German and then translating it, I simply write it in English right away. and that's really hard because my vocabular isn't that big (yet) and I just sometimes need to look words up - but then I can't remember the German word either and... ugh it's horrible lmao

How you choose titles: Me choosing titles is the most random thing ever. Usually it's one of the first thing I do when starting a new WIP. I basically get the idea and then I think of a fitting title. then I start taking notes. and sometimes I start writing after that xD

Do you outline: I know that there are apparently outlining methods but I usually just take notes of whatever comes to my mind and connect those ideas with more ideas? does that count?

Ideas I probably won't get to but it would be nice: ... a Jorleesi Pirate fan fic😶 seriously, I'm obsessed with that idea but I probably won't write it because I literally don't know anything about pirates or ships or how things worked back then... so... hmm :')

Best writing habits: I take notes on EVERYTHING. I'm a person who forgets a lot but thanks to those notes, I usually remember all my ideas. Oh and I'm very good at finding time to write. Doesn't matter where I am, I will find the time to sit down and write a bit as long as I really want to.

Spicy opinions: Ohhhh good question, this has been on my mind since days but I never made a post about it: I don't know that much about genderfluidity YET (currently questioning my entire existence which includes my gender identity and I think I might be genderfluid myself, anyway, that's not the point, what I mean to say, I still have a lot to learn and really don't want to offend anybody with this) but as soon as someone starts using different pronouns for the same character each sentence, I'm off. I mean, I get if you use different pronouns for each chapter or whenever a new day in your fic starts but PLEASE don't use them randomly, it's so confusing! don't get me wrong, I'm so here for pronoun appreciation and all, but it seems so forced (and unnecessary!) when someone shuffles the pronouns for a character every minute. Firstly: it's confusing and off putting. Secondly: As far as I know that's not how genderfluidity "works"? at least not for everyone xD But then again, write whatever you want, I'll read whatever I like, case closed

Tags: I once again don't know who to tag, sorry 💀