#no connection I just think the lyrics are so sweet so if I’m already in an emotional mood it’ll get me

[chiiyuuvv]

&team when you pass your exam!

can be bff or bf!&team x fem!reader 0.7k words requested!

▸ 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺?

Despite kei being the oldest, I think his response to you acing your exam would be more energetic than the rest. He’d be sitting on the couch, all calm and collected while watching tv or scrolling through his phone, when you pop into the room and announce the news. He would go, “what.. What?.. WHAT??” with each time getting louder and louder until he starts bouncing off the walls.. literally. He kind of reminds me of High School Musical’s “What Time Is It?”, in the beginning when the clock finally ticks summer time and Chad gets so excited that he jumps up and kisses the teacher's cheek. I feel like kei would do that, but more dramatic.

Fuma would turn so soft and fussy when you tell him the news. It’s just like some button turned on and now he’s all touchy and lovely. “I knew you could do it,” he’d say in a soft whisper while stroking your cheek with the pad of his thumb, giving you all sorts of affirmations because he knew how stressed out you were. Then he’d look into your eyes with this very sweet gaze, before slowly connecting your lips for a kiss.

You don’t even have the opportunity to finish your sentence because nicholas is grabbing your wrist and dragging you to some karaoke. He just wants you to let loose and scream your heart out. Doesn’t care if your voice cracks because he will happily join you, butchering the song lyrics and almost choking on his spit but who cares?? You’re having fun!!

Oh, did someone say spa day? As soon as euijoo hears the news, you are immediately swept off your feet and sat in your comfiest chair, being fed your favorite fruits and/or drinks. No matter what you say, euijoo ensures that you’ll never ever lay your fingertips on anything else because he will do anything for you. You want to watch some television? He’s already grabbing the remote and turning on your favorite show. Your muscles feel tense? He’s grabbing your favorite scented lotion so he can massage your poor body. He’s your personal maid for the rest of the week.. And there's nothing you can do about it :p 

I feel like yuma would do your skincare routine, but with those silly face masks and random, colorful rubber bands in your hair. Has fun taking photos of you but almost panics when you want to do the same thing to him. Just a few moments later, you turned him into your favorite baby girl. Two big, pink pigtails with a little tiara to set it off. But wait, where’s his tutu?? 

Jo already knew you’d pass your exam (because you’re so smart ^^) so to celebrate, he would stay home and spend the day with you. Honestly, he doesn’t want to do much activity because he wants you to wind down and relax, but he’d happily join you on your adventures if you have the energy!! Lays down on your bed as he engulfs you in his arms, pressing a kiss on your forehead because he’s just so proud of you, his little star :(( 

The day you pass your exam so happens to be a wonderful day outside :D Harua decides to take you out for a lovely walk around the park accompanied with some refreshing ice cream because he knows how much you love the combo. Well.. until you accidentally drop your ice cream cone. Stiffles back a laugh because he knows you’d whack him with no hesitation, and offers you his ice cream because he’s on a diet anyway :/ After you’re done with your frozen treat, he’d take you to the swings and push you hard enough, you’d be convinced you could fly!

Because taki doesn’t like seeing you happy (it’s his love language okay?), he’d be sarcastic. “Oh really? Who did you cheat off of?” He’d say, but his grin would ruin his facade. Opens you with welcomed arms, “good job, I’m so proud of you,” he’d say as he’d hold you tight, kissing  your forehead.

I think maki’s would turn into a shouting rant. Does that make sense? It’s not like an argument in any way, you’d see your results and start shouting to maki with excitement, and he’d return the energy by shouting back. It’s like two besties, is what I'm trying to say. “MAKI, I GOT AN A ON THE TEST!!” / “YOU GOT A WHAT??” / “I GOT AN A ON THE TEST!!” / “YOU GOT AN A ON THE TEST??” / “I GOT AN A ON THE TEST!!!” and then you’d hold hands as you jump around in place with beaming eyes.

︴bonus! its been a while since I last posted smth.. hehe hi guys

▸ taglist 📬 @hyvelxve , @starryriize , @rizzkisworld , @cherrycolaberry , @kehnarii , @wtfisgoingright

🎬 navi

@chiiyuuvv on tumblr . do not steal works/headers/line dividers

[mykoreanlove]

3+1

„Why are you always hanging out with them?“

Judgy eyes mustered you intensely. You shrugged your shoulders, already bored by this conversation.

„Why wouldn’t I?“

Confusion was written boldly on your date‘s face.

„Well, you’re a girl and they are three guys so I don’t know. Isn’t that odd?“

A sad smile formed on your lips. You took another sip of your martini and got up from the table.

„No baby, your insecurity is odd. Bye.“

You turned around and left, ignoring his pleas to come back.

A mixture of frustration and restlessness engulfed you, so you decided to visit your favorite trio instead of going home. They were working relentlessly the past couple of weeks, you were pretty sure they needed the distraction just like you did.

„Guys?“, you shouted as you entered the studio.

„Well, well, well. Look who the cat dragged in“, Chan teased as he saw you. You rolled your eyes, too vulnerable to handle his attitude.

„Where’s Binnie? I’m not here to see you.“

You walked over to the booth where Changbin and Han discussed lyrics, observing them from outside as you felt Chan‘s strong arms slung around your waist.

He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and kissed the skin softly. „Since when are you not here to see me, babygirl?“

Your head fell back as you sighed heavily.

„Chan, I’m in distress. Do something.“

His hands wandered to your ass, squeezing hardly.

„You want something like this?“

Chan didn’t wait for an answer and moved his hands higher, kneading your breasts now. „Or something like this?“

The door of the booth flung open instantly.

„Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is going on here?“, Han asked erratically.

Your head stayed on Chan‘s chest as he answered for you.

„Y/N is having a rough day and needs some distraction I suppose.“

Han‘s eyes saddened for a second, he hated seeing you suffer. Changbin pushed Han to the side and made his way to you.

„Whatever my sexy goddess wants, she gets.“

He took your face into his hands and kissed you passionately. You grabbed his hair and pulled lightly, scratching his scalp a bit. You felt yourself getting wet as he groaned into your mouth. Additionally, you felt Chan‘s hands on your tits, kneading and pinching your nipples through your clothes. Heat rushed through you, you wanted more. You pressed your ass into Chan, feeling him getting hard behind you.

„You gotta be kidding me“, Han mumbled under his breath. „Where should I fit?“

You felt connected to all of them, but this little quokka was your favorite - you knew exactly what he was thinking. Your left hand left Binnie‘s hair and waved at him, motioning him to position himself between your legs.

Han gulped but complied, he loved being involved in this. You felt his hands on your thighs, freeing you from your skirt and panties. It was hard to concentrate while Changbin was sucking your face and Chan pinching your nipples. Loud Moans escaped your sweet mouth as Han‘s tongue circled on your clit, making you loose your mind.

The other two stopped, surprised by his involvement like this. For a while they watched you both, gaining pleasure from seeing Han eating you out like that.

„Bin?“, Chan whispered. Both shared an agreeing look and proceeded with their plan.

„Just how much in distress are you, baby girl?“, Chan whispered into your ear.

You panted, unable to form whole sentences. „All. The. Stress.“

Chan‘s fingers entered you from behind, stretching you out in the best way possible. „Fuck“, you moaned even louder.

„You like that, baby girl?“

His fingers went faster, a perfect addition to Han‘s tongue. You opened your eyes as you realized that only two pairs of hands were on you - where was Binnie?

„Fuck, Binnie baby. Cum like that.“

Changbin was standing in front of you, his meaty dick in his hands, jerking himself off.

He smirked and replied: „Only if you cum first, babe.“

The boys understood their assignment and intensified their pace, it didn’t take long and you exploded right there. Your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, toes curling even in your high heels.

Chan held you in his arms, giving you stability since your legs shook uncontrollably. You regained composure and looked at Changbin, squirming and shooting his cum right on his own tummy.

You let out a laugh and relaxed, thankful for the boys‘ presence in your life.

„Your date didn’t go so well, right?“ Han asked, sat on the floor patiently.

You shook your head.

„No, he was the wrong guy for me.“

„Why?“, Changbin asked curiously.

You sighed. „Well, he had a problem with me spending so much time with you guys.“

Chan‘s chest vibrated from laughing.

„So, 3racha is the reason why your date went wrong?“

You looked up at him, nodding.

„Well, I guess we better make up for that.“ He placed a sweet kiss on your nose.

„What do you say, round 2?“

„And 3?“, Han and Changbin chimed in.

You smirked naughtily - who were you to deny a compensation like that, huh?

[accio-victuuri]

12/28 ( love bo ) day sweets! 🤍

i thought we can get some rest before tomorrow’s busy content day, but i guess i was wrong cause the cpns won’t let up. lol. we are definitely ending this year with being busy! we will get more once we have the full experience of yibo’s new EP and i’m waiting for XZ’s marie claire magazine interview.

let’s start with the most obvious thing we all observed from the teaser, the 🦴 necklace being front and center. this just tells me how personal this project is for him. tho his yearly song is as personal as it gets and is his yearly commitment to his fans as well. but he could have easily worn something chanel for promotion sake since he is their ambassador, but he still chose to use something of his own. this necklace that he always wears. i am usually open to interpretations of cpns, but there are very few that i’m stubborn about and this is one of those. this necklace is connected to xz, i accept no other explanations. i’m sure we will notice more clues but this one has made a lot of us happy 😋

some are also pointing out that scene in the train, the people on it are all bundled up and cold. however, wyb’s character has his neck exposed like that so you can see the necklace. he is also wearing a shirt with shoes printed on it xie zi = xz.

this bit is the one making a lot of cpfs scream. the similarity in the question asked from an xzs video to to the untamed. 🤯

so, have you thought of a name?

we have already takes about everything is lovely that was cued before in xz’s birthday, and now this. it’s like him asking, have you thought of the name for the song? the same way wwx asked lwj about wuji. and this song, everything is lovely is the answer to that. we are very much aware that wwx/lwj is different from xz/wyb but these parallels are hard to ignore. and what if they also think of themselves as somewhat these two soulmates? i think that makes sense too. and oh, if you wanna go more galaxy brained - the date difference between 10/5 to the release of the new song 12/29 is 85 days. are they counting??? we all questioned the new release date and why it’s 12/30. maybe this seemed more like an auspicious date based on that. who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

I also forgot to add this when i first discussed the lyric that talks about white hair. this part of the fanmeet where they had to act out seeing each other after a long time. WYB mentioned pulling out XZ’s white hair for him. 🥹🥹🥹

at the time (2019) it seemed like he was being a gremlin and the subject of white hair was for a joke. now, years later (2023) he uses it in a new way. i will love you till your hair turns white. I will love you forever.

• THEIR EYES 👀

• In the behind the scenes video shared by shunan laoshi, who worked with WYB last year, we can see the card case. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I can’t believe this simple thing is one of the strongest cpns we have.

• GQ shared this photo taken by WYB and it reminds us of an effect also used by XZ and XZS. I know this is not some effect that is unique to them and that other people can do it too, but the point is the similarity. you have WYB who has been into photography lately and he is using a trick that XZ and his team have used before.

• a video has been shared from 10c night in 2019 and it really proved one of the things we’ve been saying before, that their dressing/waiting rooms were right next to each other.

• WYB is allegedly listening to this song on QQ. I wonder who comes to mind when he listens to it 😏

-END.

[fiercelittlenobody]

Has anyone talked about the Elriel parallels in this song? It could literally be Az talking about Elain!

First lines out of the gate:

I just think about my baby/ so full of love I can barely eat// there’s nothing sweeter than my baby/ I’d never want once from the cherry tree

I know Az hasn’t been sleeping but he talks about Elain’s sweetness and how she smells in the bonus chapter so off the bat it’s already sounding like Az

Then we have the amazing bridge Hozier gifted us with:

When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth/ No grave can hold my body down/ I’ll crawl home to her

Like GAWD. Azriel- I’m going to get her back, get these chains off her even though I’m bleeding, tie me to a tree Rhys? I’m going insane with these lyrics (more than usual)

Then it’s wildly specific to Azriel and I’m not sure about Elain completely but it’s assumed at this point:

She never asked about the wrong I did

Then we have after the chorus:

My babe would never fret none/ About what my HANDS and my body done/ If the lord don’t forgive me, I’d still have my baby and my babe would have me//

And she put her love down soft and sweet/ Heave and hell were words to me

There’s a lot to unpack here: first I think Elain doesn’t judge or fear Azriels past or the jobs he had to do. I think she understands how he was used by Rhysands dad and even Rhys at times. She’s not stupid she knows he’s the spymaster. Elain is also the only one who doesn’t balk at him and calls his hands beautiful. His scars are obviously one of his biggest insecurities. So the hands thing is crazy spot on. Also the “if the lord don’t forgive me” could be two different things HL Rhys forbidding him to he with Elain and Az always questioning the cauldron which is tied to their faith (?) in Prythian. When Hozier wrote heaven and hell are words to me I feel a connection to Az asking if the cauldron and wrong and is basically like eff the bond who cares? Elain wants me and I want her.

Anyways if you made it this far thanks for listening to my rant on one of my song obsessions. I sometimes hear a song and think elriel bc I’m growing impatient with SJM lol!

[harry-on-broadway]

The Last Line: Part One

Part One 

Word Count: 9.4K || Series Masterlist || Rating: M

A/N: I didn’t think I’d be writing another series so soon after TYTM but...this little idea of an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story that I’ve been thinking about for a long time just wouldn’t go away. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. Would love to hear what everyone thinks! 

***

May 12, 2017

Review: Harry Styles Heads In A New Direction

By Penny Sanders

If you know someone, most likely a young woman, between the ages of 13 and 30, chances are you’ve heard of Harry Styles.

Or at least his former band, One Direction.

Styles is one of the five young men that were thrown together by the infamous Simon Cowell to create the best selling boy band of all-time. Over their brief career, One Direction’s discography cast a wide net, attracting fans of all ages. Young tweens and their millennial counterparts were drawn in by the clean-cut look of the lads clad in blazers and bowties and lyrics that felt like they were pulled from a self-insert fanfiction. However, as the years progressed the band added a bit of an edge – tattoos, rumors of an attempted threesome, and lyrics about a loaded gun (read: erect penis). But with 1D in the midst of an indefinite hiatus, all eyes are on Harry, Niall, Liam, and Louis (and Zayn too) to see what comes next.

Styles has answered that question with a 10-song debut that is worlds away from the five albums he put out with his former band. Gone are the bubblegum beats, replaced by alternatively somber and bombastic instrumentals. And forget cheeky “wink-wink nod-nod” lyrics to – gasp! sex! Styles readily admits getting himself off in a hotel room in the album’s closer, “From the Dining Table.”

It’s not a poor offering, but frankly, it’s not great either. While he pushes himself to redefine the sound that has been associated with him for more than five years, the result is a generic LP that will likely be forgotten as soon as one of the industry’s legitimate superstars releases a new single. And, to head off the question I’ve already received from many of Styles’ supporters on Twitter, I can guarantee that you won’t be seeing this album or any of its tracks, mentioned at this year’s Grammy Awards.

One of the bright spots on the album, the lead single “Sign Of The Times,” feels like a grand moment, but it also feels misplaced, almost as if it was a song that should have come a decade into his solo career. Despite poignant lyrics (the song is purportedly about a mother dying in childbirth), Styles’ falsetto needs strengthening and at times he sounds like a young boy trying to imitate his elders. He has talent and shows promise, but isn’t able to pull off a ballad of that caliber yet. Other songs, like “Sweet Creature” and “Two Ghosts” are instantly forgettable, though “Kiwi,” while memorable, is just plain painful to listen to.

Styles is obviously popular, and that alone will be enough to propel him to years of sold-out shows and chart-topping albums. But he needs something else – a secret ingredient if you will –  to launch him to further stardom and cement his name alongside his idols Nicks, Bowie, and Jagger. Otherwise, he’ll be nothing but a midnight memory.

***

September 21, 2017

Review: Harry Styles Rocks The Greek Theatre

By Penny Sanders

Months after the release of his self-titled debut album, Harry Styles found himself at the Greek Theatre, ready to play to a sold out crowd that had likely been waiting for this moment since One Direction’s final performance.

And let me just say, attending a Harry Styles concert is an experience like no other.

The intimate venue was a nice change of pace for Styles who was selling out stadiums in the latter half of One Direction’s tour. He was always seen as the charming one, and the small stage makes that even more apparent, giving him more than enough time to banter with the audience, introduce songs, and connect with his audience. I’m sure many of those in the front of the crowd will tell stories for years to come of the night they made eye contact with the heartthrob.

With just 10 songs of his own, he relied on some One Direction hits and other covers to fill out the setlist. With the exception of “The Chain,” most of the covers sounded nothing like the original version, leading anyone unfamiliar with Styles’ career so far to assume the guitar heavy, rocking versions of the songs – notably “What Makes You Beautiful” and “Story of My Life” – are the standard.

Styles has a charisma like no other, and even though it’s clear it takes him a while to warm up to the crowd, perhaps a symptom of never being alone onstage in his career so far, he’s a born performer who belongs on the stage. But for me, he wasn’t the standout. It was his fans.

The crowd was ready for fun, dressed to the nines, with nearly everyone carrying overflowing bags of merch. They sang along to the songs word perfect and clung to Styles every word, cheering louder than I’ve ever heard when he entered the stage. It was a joyous occasion and had an energy I haven’t seen in any of the concerts I’ve recently attended.

I spoke to a number of women in attendance last night, asking them what drew them to the show. Some cited their One Direction fandom, while others spoke of the sounds of his music, and how it reminded them of other classic songs they love. But for many, Styles himself was the primary reason for being there.

“He makes things really personal,” said Ally, a college student who came from Minneapolis to see the show – her third time seeing Styles this year. “A lot of the other concerts I go to, the artists don’t say anything other than a generic thank you. But Harry makes every show feel special.”

“He feels like a friend,” said Katrina, a local high-schooler. “School’s not always easy and I sometimes struggle with things, but when I listen to his music or go to one of his shows, it feels comforting. Like I’m in a safe place.”

These statements perfectly summarize why Styles’ concerts are so unique.

If he stays true to what his fans want and lets his personality shine on stage, that, in addition to strengthening his songwriting, could be enough to land him alongside his musical icons, and 50 years from now, we’ll see him headlining stadiums on his own, playing a career’s worth of hits as the crowd – full more than just women – sings along.

Longtime readers will remember that I was less than effusive in my review of Styles’s debut, but after seeing him live, I must eat my words and say he’s going places.

***

Transcript from the “Track After Track” podcast, Episode 147: July 21, 2018

Ethan: Speaking of concerts, Penny, you just saw Harry Styles at the Forum, right?

Penny: Yeah, I was there a week ago. Eight days? No a week ago. Sorry it all blends together.

Ethan: I mean, you are at a concert every night, pretty much, so I’ll give you a pass.

Penny: [laughs] You’re so kind. But yes, I was at his show.

Tyler: How was that? I never know what to make of these boy band guys. For every Timberlake, there’s 10 Chris Kirkpatricks.

Penny: It wasn’t terrible. He puts on a good show.

Ethan: Was this your first time seeing him?

Penny: No. I saw him twice when he was in One Direction. And when he was at the Greek.

Tyler: And?

Penny: Like I said, he’s not terrible. It’s clear that his music and personality has resonated with a lot of people, so his shows are filled with fans and have a great energy. Listening to the album on its own is kind of meh…there weren’t a lot of tracks that stuck out as memorable…but live it can be kind of fun. You can tell he loves performing and really feeds off the crowd.

Ethan: Confession: I actually haven’t listened to the album yet.

Penny: That doesn’t surprise me based on the number of EDM CDs in your car.

Ethan: [laughs] Yeah, the genre definitely isn’t my cup of tea, but I think Harry is someone the industry really needs to watch. He’s going to do big things. Well, even bigger since he’s already pretty massive. Tyler, have you listened?

Tyler: Yeah, but I just can’t bring myself to get into it. Like, you just mention his name and you can hear the teen girls screaming off in the distance. I just think it’s a red flag when your fanbase is that narrow. Like if teen girls are your driver, how are you going to succeed? What happens when they’re not 13 and hormonal anymore. You’re not seeing a lot of geriatric boy band fans.

Penny: Wow! Ageism and sexism all in one statement! That has to be a first for you! It’s fine to say you don’t like his music, but to discount it purely on the basis that younger women like it…that’s just plain ignorant.

Tyler: Let’s evaluate this in five years and see where he is.

Penny: Fine, in five years have me back on this podcast and we’ll discuss his Grammy win.

Tyler: You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think Harry Styles will win a Grammy. You need to start thinking with your head and not your – (inaudible)

Penny: Seriously?

Ethan: OK, let’s talk charts…

***

Talking Biz News  

November 8, 2018

Penny Sanders to join media start-up The Moment as Music Reporter

***

Present Day, 2019

“She needs to go back to copyediting and stop fucking up my stories,” Chloe barked, stabbing lettuce onto her fork to match her anger. “She knows nothing about film but is constantly trying to make corrections and I’m just like ‘No?!? That’s not how the fucking industry works.’” She looked across the table at Penny. “Am I crazy?”

“No, you’re not crazy,” Penny said, trying to soothe her friend. “I have the same issue with Darren. He came in thinking he was hot shit because he had been at Rolling Stone and started trying to explain how the charts work as if I haven’t been covering this for years. I can’t tell you how much time I spend undoing his edits before the piece goes to Skylar.”

“Why can’t this newsroom hire a competent editor?” Chloe asked. “It’s not that hard.”

“Probably because no editor wants to work here?”

“Good point!”

Penny and Chloe were eating a late lunch in the courtyard of the complex that housed The Moment, the entertainment publication they both worked for. They’d met three years ago during a summer internship at Variety and forged an alliance after realizing they were the only two women in the program. Penny had wanted to cover music and Chloe was determined to become a film reporter, and they’d been thrilled to finally end up at The Moment together after several years of freelancing and fighting for staff writer roles. Now, they were unstoppable, filing stories daily and dodging pointless notes from their first editors.

“Wait, Penny…didn’t you file your piece on ‘Old Town Road’ today?”

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why? It’s such an interesting story,” Chloe whined. “And I haven’t seen anyone covering it yet.”

“That always makes me nervous.” Penny swirled her spoon through her bowl of soup.

“It shouldn’t. It means you’re ahead of the curve.”

“Or I’ve completely misjudged the story. Maybe it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. Give it a month and everyone will be talking about it.” Chloe paused. “Is Darren taking firsts?”

“Yes.”

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, it’s not looking good for me, Chlo.”

The Moment’s typical reporting and editing process involved a reporter filing a story to one editor, who would do an intensive first edit, fixing the structure of the story, making notes on sections that needed to be added or get cut, and getting the piece 99% ready for publication. The second round of edits was largely focused on fixing grammar and spelling, as well as fact-checking, ahead of publication. Penny typically preferred Skylar, the publication’s editor-in-chief, to take on first edits. While she could be tough, she was smart and kind, and Penny’s stories were always much better after Skylar got her hands on them. When other editors, like Darren, took first edits, Penny knew to prepare herself for days of tears, stress, and questioning her life choices.

“What about you?” Penny asked, wanting to shift the conversation away from her anxiety over her story. “Have things calmed down post-Oscars?”

“Yes. Thankfully.”

Penny knew Chloe loved her job but from late August to early March, she was running from festival to festival, covering awards season. In addition to writing her articles, she, like Penny, found herself taking on media hits as an added responsibility, appearing on morning shows, podcasts, and radio programs to break down entertainment topics for everyday consumers. It was fun and super fulfilling, but it was also exhausting.

“When is Cannes again?”

“May!” Chloe said brightly. “Easily my favorite festival.”

“I have no idea why,” Penny said with a sly grin. “Two weeks on a French beach surrounded by celebrities, eating the most delicious food. It sounds horrid.”

“Oh my God, Penny? What are you doing here?”

Penny and Chloe turned in synchronicity to look at the man who had shouted at them from a table across the path.

“Do we know him?” Chloe asked, mumbling the question through the tentative grin she had plastered on her face.

“I can’t actually see his face,” Penny admitted, squinting trying to gain a better view.

“This is why you need to wear your glasses,” Chloe hissed.

“Of all the food courts in Los Angeles,” the man continued as he walked over to them.

“Wait…Tom? Is that you?”

“It is! How have you been?” He opened his arms and pulled Penny into him. She wrapped her own arms around him.

“So good. I didn’t realize you were out here.”

“I’ve actually been here for a few years now.”

“Shit. Really. I feel so bad that I didn’t reach out,” Penny said apologetically. “And I’m also surprised that my mom didn’t mention you.”

“Eh, it’s not a problem,” he shrugged.

“Care to introduce me?” Chloe asked.

“Ah, yes,” Penny said, composing herself. “Chloe, this is Tom Skoglund. He’s a longtime family friend, although I’m sure that title is being called into question since I didn’t even know he was living here. Tom, this is Chloe. She’s a friend of mine who also works at The Moment.” Penny stepped back to allow Chloe and Tom to shake hands and exchange pleasantries. “Do you want to sit with us?” she asked when they were finished, noting Tom’s sandwich and chips.

“If you don’t mind,” he said. “I’d love to catch up.”

Penny and Chloe sat back down as Tom pulled up a third chair and set his food down. “So you’re still doing the reporter thing?” he asked with a grin. He turned to Chloe. “Penny used to write a newsletter for everyone in the neighborhood. It had news items and opinion pieces all written by her. I seem to remember a glowing review for the second High School Musical soundtrack.”

“It’s full of bangers and you know it,” Penny said with a grin.

Tom turned to Chloe. “Do you also cover music?”

Chloe shook her head. “I’m a film girl.”

“Thoughts on the Oscars?” he asked as he took a bite.

“Anyone who actually pays attention to previous stats knew that Green Book would pull out a win so I wasn’t surprised. I will be curious to see what Netflix does next though. I personally thought The Favourite should have won, but that’s why I’m not a voter.”

“I literally only saw Black Panther and A Star Is Born so I feel like I don’t have room to say anything,” Tom said with a grimace.

“You sound like Penny,” Chloe said with a laugh. “She can tell you the exact week a song hit number one on the Billboard charts, but is frighteningly unaware of the latest movies.”

“I only have so much room for useless facts,” Penny said, earning a kick under the table from Chloe. She turned her attention back to Tom. “What are you doing here? Last I heard my mom said you were working in finance? Is that still the case?”

“God no,” he said lightly. “I had enough of that soul crushing job and decided to head out here to hack it in music. Got an assistant gig and worked my way up to manager.”

“Tom, that’s incredible,” Penny said with genuine excitement. “Who are you with?”

“Full Stop. With Jeff Azoff”

“Wow,” Penny said as Chloe let out a slow whistle. She turned to look at her friend.

“Yes, I know who the Azoffs are,” Chloe said. “And that’s impressive. Congrats, Tom.” Her phone chirped and she looked down at the screen. “Fuck. One of my sources wants to chat. I’ve got to take this.” She looked up at Penny and Tom. “It was so nice to meet you, Tom. Penny, I’ll see you at drinks later?”

Penny nodded and waved as Chloe disappeared across the grass, depositing her empty salad container in the trash. “So Full Stop,” she said, turning back to Tom. “You all have quite the roster.”

“Before you ask, no comment,” Tom said with a grin.

“Tom, I’m disappointed that you’d think I would stoop that low. I have a firm stance on not using friends for work stuff.”

“Well good, because you’d get nothing out of me.” He took a sip of his drink. “Remind me, are you still doing breaking news?” He grimaced. “I know I see your byline frequently, but I don’t always remember which article it comes in front of.”

“No. I moved on from that.” Penny didn’t miss the days of covering the desk at night, ready to pounce on any stories that came across the wire. “I mostly do reviews for concerts and albums now. I’m working my way up to business features, profiles, those types of things.”

“What should I go back and get caught up on?”

“I reviewed Maggie Rogers’ album a couple of weeks ago and wrote a review of Elton John’s show last week.”

“God, doesn’t he put on a great show.”

“One of the best. And I’m working on a feature about TikTok and ‘Old Town Road’ right now.”

“That sounds so interesting. Is it up yet?”

“No. I just filed it to my editor so there is a very good chance that it will never see the light of day. But if it does, I will send it your way.”

“Please. Let me give you my number.”

Penny pulled out her phone and handed it to her old friend. It was a strange feeling knowing that in the heyday of their friendship, they hadn’t needed each other's number, knowing they could always find the other in the cul-de-sac or the school hallways.

“Done.” Tom said, saving his contact information and passing the phone back to Penny, who quickly dashed off a text so he would have her information as well.

“I should probably head back into the office now,” Penny said. “But it was great to see you.”

“You too,” Tom said, standing to hug her. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d want to come to a little party slash happy hour thing I’m having on Friday. It’s super casual, basically just drinks and fancy snacks with a bunch of people from the office. I think they’d all love to meet you and talk music. Off the record,” he added quickly.

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Penny replied. “I should be free Friday.”

“Great. I’ll text you my address and we can take it from there.”

“Thanks, Tom,” Penny said, collecting her trash. “I’m really looking forward to seeing more of you.”

“Same. I’ll see you on Friday.”

Penny waved as she threw her trash away and headed back to her building. She smiled to herself. It would be nice to have another friendly face around. They were too rare in her line of work.

***

Penny promptly shut her laptop at 5pm, stowing it in her tote bag and pushing her chair underneath her desk.

“Have a nice weekend!” she called out to the few staffers that were remaining in the newsroom, before heading to her car. She plugged Tom’s address into her GPS app, hit play on her Spotify playlist, and pulled out of the parking lot. She was about 45 minutes away, thanks to the heavy traffic that was a near constant presence in the city, but made it to Tom’s house before her 80s synth mix was finished playing, which she counted as a win.

She grabbed her bag and fished around in the backseat for the bottle of wine she’d purchased earlier that day. She wasn’t sure if this was that type of gathering, but she felt weird showing up empty handed. Hopefully Tom wouldn’t say no to some Trader Joe’s wine. She locked her car and walked up the path and heard some shouts coming from the backyard. She rang the bell and just a few moments later, Tom appeared with a smile on his face.

“Penny! Come on in!” he said, opening the door for her. “How was the drive over?”

“Not as bad as it could have been,” she replied, shrugging off her cardigan and tote bag.

“I can take those,” Tom offered, reaching for her belongings, and placing them in a nearby closet.

“Thanks,” Penny said. “And this is for you,” she added, offering him the bottle of wine.

“You didn’t have to bring anything.”

“It’s from Trader Joe’s, Tom. It is quite literally the least I could do.”

He laughed. “Well, thank you. I’ll put it out now. It’s an open bar, so help yourself. Once you get a drink, I’ll take you around and introduce you to everyone.”

Penny poured herself a rum and Coke, and followed Tom out to the patio, drink in hand.

“Penny, I’d like you to meet Tommy Bruce,” he said. “Tommy, this is my friend, Penny. We reconnected the other day.”

“Pleasure, Penny,” Tommy said, shaking her hand. “Do you also work in the industry?”

“Sort of. I’m a critic and reporter at The Moment. I cover music.”

“That’s sick. Do you go to a lot of shows?”

“Yes. I was at Elton John’s show the other day and I’m planning to see Post Animal in a couple of weeks.”

“I was at Elton too! I wonder if we ran into each other?”

“We probably did,” Penny said with a laugh.

“Are you planning to go to Leon Bridges?”

“I’m not sure yet. I have to get everything approved by my editor so it’s up to her.”

“I hope you can. He’s so good. Hey, Jeff!”

Tom and Tommy turned their attention to another man that had approached their small group.

“Penny, this is the man, the myth, the legend, Jeffrey Azoff,” Tom said.

“They exaggerate,” Jeff said. “Nice to meet you Penny.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Penny said, moving her drink to her other hand so she could shake Jeff’s. “I’m an old friend of Tom’s from growing up. I work as a music journalist now.”

“Yeah, you’re at The Moment, right?” Jeff said.

“Yes…” Penny said slowly.

“OK,” Tommy said, affably rolling his eyes. “He’s such a show off.”

“I try to keep up with those who cover our clients, that’s all,” Jeff said. “And if it makes me look like a show-off, so be it,” he added, as Tommy playfully punched his shoulder.

As the men continued to banter, Penny surveyed the room, making the silent calculation she faced nearly everyday. Including herself, there were four women total at the gathering, which felt like a huge accomplishment. Working in her industry, she was used to being one of the only women in the room, a blessing and a curse.

The blessing was that whenever she found another woman at an event or meeting, they instantly gravitated toward each other, which meant she’d made a lot of friends in just a few years. The curse was obvious: men.

The men that surrounded her weren’t the worst offenders – they kept their hands and other body parts to themselves and were generally very kind – but being the lone woman was noticeable. Men would casually throw out that someone was a “bitch” or offer Penny an explanation that they didn’t give to a male reporter two years her junior. Penny usually just took it with a grain of salt, sighing internally, complaining to Chloe, and then proving her worth by being the smartest one in the room. Keeping an eye on two women chatting in the corner, she started to move towards them to introduce herself when she caught sight of another person across the way.

Harry Styles.

Or was it? Was that actually him? Chloe was right, she needed to wear her glasses more often. But Harry Styles being here didn’t make any sense. What would he be doing at a random house party?

She felt a hand on her shoulder and stepped over to the side to allow the person to pass and collect her thoughts. The more she thought about it, Harry Styles being at this party made sense. She knew from stories she’d worked on that he was repped by Full Stop, so it wasn’t totally out of the realm of possibility that he would hang out with Tom and the other agents outside of work, but it was still jarring to see him out in the wild.

Whenever she told people she was a music journalist, their first instinct was to assume that she was close to many of the artists she reported on daily, but that wasn’t the case. When she was attending an event, it was a professional engagement. She was there to gather the facts, tell a story, and move on. Socializing with those in the industry outside of that professional setting made her uncomfortable. Especially when she was working on a review or piece of criticism. It was one thing to write those things and send them off into the vacuum of the internet, but when she thought about the subjects of the reviews reading her writing, she started to feel…guilty. She never intended to be mean – she knew how she felt when she received harsh notes from an editor – but the point of her reviews was to offer commentary and opinions. And if she thought too much about the people behind the work, her objectivity disappeared. So, she’d made a concerted effort to keep a firm boundary to ensure her writing was as good as it could be.

The few times she did meet musicians outside of work events, she could feel her brain going a mile a minute to remember if she’d ever written something slightly negative about them for fear they’d call her out on it, as despite what every musician claimed, they always read the reviews. And her brain started working overtime to perform these mental calculations as she saw Harry stop in front of her.

“Haven’t seen you here before. I’m Harry,” he drawled slowly, reaching out his hand.

Penny momentarily froze, but quickly recovered. “I’m Penny,” she said, shaking his hand.

“Do you work at Full Stop?” he asked, eyes glancing over her as if he was trying to figure out where she should be placed.

“No.”

“At one of the labels?”

“No.”

“OK, well I’m stumped as to where you fit it,” he said with a light laugh. “Care to enlighten me?”

“I’m a writer,” Penny replied, hoping the vague nature of her answer was enough to satisfy him.

“Have you written anything I’ve read?”

“Maybe.”

“Care to give me any other clues?” he asked, sipping from the plastic cup in his hand and leaning in closer to hear her response. Penny couldn’t tell what it was, but from the smell wafting over to her, it was something strong.

“I’m a journalist.”

“What do you cover?” Another sip, his eyes intensely focused on her.

“Entertainment,” Penny said simply, praying this game of 20 questions would be over soon.

“That’s kind of vague,” Harry replied quickly.

“That’s kind of the point.”

“Oh! A woman with an air of mystery. That’s…” he paused. “Enticing.”

“Enticing?” Penny quirked a brow and shot him a bemused grin.

“Yeah, it’s like a challenge. You’re making me work for it.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know, maybe a drink?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Wow. Subtle.”

“I try.” The corners of his lips ticked up. “Maybe I should try a little harder though.”  

Penny was thinking up a witty comeback, somewhat amused by the situation she’d found herself in and very pleased that she’d have a new story to share with Chloe at lunch on Monday, when Tom interrupted their conversation.

“There you two are! I was hoping to introduce you all tonight.” He looked at Harry, gesturing to Penny. “This is Penny. She’s a friend from back home who’s a big time writer for The Moment. She writes reviews for concerts and albums.”

Penny snuck a look at Harry and thought she saw a flicker of…something…in his eyes. It was so subtle and so brief that she didn’t have time to think about what it could mean before she felt Tom’s arm on her back.

“And Penny, you of course know Harry.”

“I do. I think one of my friends had a toothbrush with your face on it.”

“Hmmm,” Harry murmured. “Those were a hot item for sure.”

Tom’s eyes darted between the two, evidently waiting for them to continue the conversation he had interrupted. Seeing that that wasn’t going to happen, he excused himself and moved onto another group of people.

“So, music is the kind of entertainment you cover.” The banter was back but it had a harder edge this time.

“It is.”

“Have you ever written about me?”

Penny mulled her potential responses, trying to find one that could cause the path of least resistance. “No,” she said simply.

“Really?” Harry said. The challenge in his voice was evident. “You weren’t the one who said I sound like ‘a young boy trying to imitate his elders?’”

Fuck. Penny felt her face grow hot. “That might have been me.”

“I thought so.”

“How long did you know?”

“Once Tom said the name of where you work. There aren’t that many critics named Penny that wrote a scathing review of my album.”

“It wasn’t scathing,” Penny said, suddenly feeling defensive of her work. “It was critical, sure, but that’s what my job is. I’m a critic. And besides, don't musicians get off on bragging about how they don’t pay attention to the reviews?”

“Hate to break it to you but that’s a load of bullshit. We are all very sensitive creatures.”

“Well, that’s clear based on how you’re acting now.”

“How I'm acting? You’re the one that’s yelling in the middle of a party.”

“I’m not yelling!” Penny said, lowering her voice by a couple of decibels. “You’re the one that came over here trying to score and then decided to pick a fight because you can’t forget about one review from like two years ago.”

“I’m sorry–” Harry laughed in disbelief. “You thought I was trying to get lucky? What made you think that?”

“‘Ah! A mysterious woman! So enticing! I like a challenge. You’re making me bloody work for it. Let’s get a drink!’” Penny shot back in a poor imitation of his slow, deep voice.

“I did not say that.”

“Yes you did!” Penny yelped. “You totally did.”

“Whatever,” Harry mumbled, taking another sip of his drink while Penny just looked at him.

“That’s all you have to say?”

Harry looked at her blankly. “Yes?”

“Oh, I thought you might offer up a sorry.”

“What for?”

“For attacking my work.”

“I hate to break it to you, Penny, but I think you attacked my work first.”

“Because it’s my fucking job!”

“Everything alright over here?”  Jeff asked, stepping into the conversation. The look of caution on his face told Penny that her conversation with Harry had been overheard by the others at the party.

“We’re fine,” Penny said evenly.

“Yeah, peachy keen,” Harry added, earning a glare from Penny.

“I should actually be going,” Penny said.

“Oh, can’t you stay a little longer?” Jeff asked as Harry muttered “Bye, then.” Jeff cut his eyes over to Harry, who avoided his glance. “Alright then,” he said slowly. “It was nice to meet you, Penny. Hope to see you around.”

“You, too,” Penny said before swiftly leaving the group.

“What was that about?” Jeff asked, attention turned back to Harry.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“You were a bit, shall we say…dickish…back there?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“If you say so,” Jeff said. He paused. “Have you read any of her work?”

“I’ve read enough of it.”

“You should honestly read some more. The Moment in general is a really up-and-coming publication. They’ve poached some stellar writers and editors from Billboard and Rolling Stone. And Penny…she’s smart. I think you all would have a lot to talk about.”

Harry glared at Jeff. “What makes you say that?”

“She’s got an interesting perspective. Her reviews always leave me thinking about things in a different way and I can’t say that about many critics.”

“Oh really,” Harry shot back, suddenly combative. “Did you start to reconsider my album after reading her review?”

“Calm down, H,” Jeff said gently. “Your album is a fantastic accomplishment and you know it. And she doesn’t just write criticism, she does cultural pieces as well. Check them out. She was on a podcast last year that you might find interesting.” Jeff pulled out his phone, typing quickly. “Here’s a link. Give it a listen and let me know what you think.”

Harry shot Jeff another glare and drained his cup. “Thanks,” he said dryly. “I’ll move it to the top of the list. See you later,” he called, pushing past his manager.

He tossed his cup into a nearby trash can and combed the room for Tom, offering a wave as he walked out the door. Harry walked slowly down the driveway, feeling the cool night air blow through his hair, relishing the peace. He’d felt a little off all day, but couldn’t put a finger on why, and his encounter with Penny had thrown him even more off balance. He’d been feeling like this a lot recently. Like he didn’t quite fit in alongside the other pieces of his life. He reached his car and unlocked it, sliding inside.

He plugged in his phone and stared out the windshield. Penny. He hadn’t known who she was when he approached her that night. Only that she looked pretty and that the smile she’d worn when he saw her talking to Jeff and Tommy made him want to know more about her. But as the pieces fell into place, it was impossible to look past what she’d done to him two years ago.

He didn’t know why her review had struck such a nerve with him. It wasn’t like his debut had been released to unanimous raves, and after two years of looking back on it, while he was proud of what he’d accomplished, he could see the weak spots in his work and was hoping to improve upon them with his second album. The hurt that lingered was just one of those implacable feelings.

Rolling his neck and feeling it crack, he pulled on his seatbelt and scrolled through his music library looking for something to listen to on the ride home. But after cycling through the entire library twice to no avail, he opened the text Jeffrey had sent him earlier, pressing play on the podcast episode that had been shared with him before turning the key in the ignition. His drive home was long but while he usually grew antsy watching the clock change as he sat bumper to bumper with other drivers, tonight his mind was occupied listening to the discussion echoing through his speakers.

It was an episode from one of Variety’s podcasts last year, shortly after his Forum concerts. Penny was a guest, chatting with the two guys who served as hosts. One of them sounded cool, and the other sounded like someone that he’d like to punch in the face if they ever crossed paths in real life. The episode was about his tour, specifically his shows in Los Angeles. It was weird listening to people talk about him like he was a commodity for consumption, and not like a human, a blatant reminder of why he typically abstained from engaging with anything like this.

Much to his surprise, Penny played the role of his supporter throughout the podcast, jumping to his defense when the Asshole, or whatever his name was, levied harsh words at Harry and his fans. He wouldn’t have expected that based on what she’d previously written. On the track, they shifted topics and Harry’s mind drifted off as the episode played on, ending moments before he arrived at his home. He turned off the car but made no effort to head inside. Instead, he picked up his phone and opened Instagram where he typed in Penny’s name.

Her account popped up right away. He scrolled over her page, unsurprised by what he found. Lots of pictures of concerts, sunsets on the beach, and admittedly delicious looking food. There weren’t many pictures of her but he found one that was relatively recent, posted last Christmas. She was smiling alongside some other women, probably friends based on the caption, and once again he felt something tugging inside of him when he looked at her. Next, he redownloaded the Twitter app, something he swore he would never do, and typed in Penny’s name, skimming through her Tweets. Jeff was right. She was frustratingly and irritatingly smart.

Closing out of Twitter, he navigated back to Instagram, finger hovering over the follow button. He hesitated, but after a minute his finger came down on the icon and it changed from blue to gray.

As he put his phone in his pocket and locked his car, across town Penny’s phone lit up with a notification. She missed the initial alert as she washed her face and pulled on the old college t-shirt she wore to bed most nights, but she finally noticed it when she went to set her alarm: Harry Styles followed you.

What the fuck was he trying to do? After laying into her the way he did at Tom’s house, completely unprovoked, the last thing she wanted to do was interact with him in the virtual world. She deleted the notification, plugged in her phone, and went to sleep.

When Harry woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was check his Instagram notifications. He scrolled past most of them – comments and following alerts from random fans and bots – but among all of the familiar amalgamations of usernames, Penny’s was nowhere to be found.

He laid his phone on his chest and stared at the ceiling. What game was she trying to play with him? And why did he feel so upset? The silence that surrounded him as he laid motionless was so loud.

When he finally found the motivation to get out of bed, he pulled on some jogging shorts and a tank and laced up his sneakers, grabbing headphones on his way out the door. He was hoping that a run might clear his head, but thoughts of Penny from the night before echoed alongside the sound of his feet on the pavement. Clarity hadn’t been found when he reached the five mile point, so he begrudgingly turned around to head home and shower. His mind was still swirling as he got cleaned up, and by the time he was dressed for the day and brewing coffee, he had a plan.

He pulled up his contacts and scrolled until he found the name he was looking for, pacing nervously while the phone rang.

“Hey,” the voice on the other line said. “Is everything OK?”

“Yeah, Tom. Sorry for the early morning call,” Harry said, twisting his fringe around his finger as he continued to do laps around the island. “Are you heading into the office today?”

“Seeing as it’s Saturday, I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Oh, shit,” Harry said, cringing when he took note of the early weekend hour. “I guess I lost track of time.”

“Not a problem,” Tom replied, stifling what seemed to be a yawn. “I’ll be there bright and early on Monday.

“Oh, nice. Would you maybe want to catch up and grab lunch?”

“That would be great, seeing as it’ll have been close to 48 hours since we last caught up,” Tom said a bit facetiously.

Harry said nothing trying to extract his fingers from the knot he’d twisted his fringe into. “Oh, yeah,” he mumbled after a moment.

“H, I’m kidding,” Tom said with a light laugh. “You can always swing by. Would you want to go to the bistro?”

“No, why don’t we pick somewhere more convenient to you. How about Loqui?” Harry suggested naming one of the restaurants that was in the campus that housed both the Full Stop and The Moment offices.

“Uh, yeah that’s fine. I’ll see you then. Have a good weekend, H.”

“You too, Tom.”

Harry hung up the phone and tried to figure out how he’d distract himself until Monday.

***

As Penny sat in her editor’s office Monday morning, she was trying to calculate when her next dental appointment was scheduled for and whether or not she’d be able to add on some x-rays to survey the damage done to her jaw after clenching it as hard as she had that morning.

Darren had finished reviewing her piece over the weekend, and had suggested they review his edits first thing, which wasn't the way she wanted to start the week.

“I think the biggest problem you have here is that this isn’t a story,” he said, scrolling through the copy on his laptop. “You only have one example of this phenomenon if we want to call it that and I honestly don’t think that TikTok is that important to the success of the song. In my professional career, we’ve seen plenty of songs do this. It’s nothing unusual.”

“But you’re missing the point,” Penny said, pushing back. “The whole idea is yes, this hasn’t happened before, but it’s the way forward. This is going to be the new version of Justin Bieber getting discovered on YouTube or Shawn Mendes on Vine.” She could feel herself getting angry and took a breath to calm herself. “You’re always telling us to be ahead of the story and that’s what I’m doing.”

“But this isn’t a story.”

Penny bit the inside of her cheek as she struggled to keep her cool. “OK, then, what do you suggest I do?”

Darren sighed. “Write it up like a regular chart recap and include a couple of lines about how it’s getting close to a record.”

“Because of TikTok?”

“No mention of TikTok. We don’t want to look like we don’t know what we’re talking about.”

“We have a chance to scoop Rolling Stone and Billboard and you’re just ignoring it.”

“Because it’s not a story. End of discussion. I’ve got a meeting to go to.”

Darren stood up and exited the office, leaving Penny stunned and furious. When she’d collected herself, she moved back to her desk in the newsroom. She spun around in her chair, any motivation to work gone.

Editors, specifically Skylar, were constantly telling them to push boundaries and find the stories no one was writing on yet. Unfortunately, they weren’t always on the same page, which led to a great deal of frustration when it came time to file a story. Penny could submit a story thinking it was Pullitzer-worthy, but be left questioning her entire life path after a single round of edits. Almost as if she could sense the tension brewing, Chloe poked her head over top of the divider that separated their desks.

“I think you need coffee. Or a pastry. Or lunch. Basically you just need to not be in this office right now, so we’re going for a walk.”

Penny begrudgingly grabbed her purse and ID and headed towards the exit, close behind Chloe, who was listing off restaurant options.

“Loqui,” Penny eventually said, stopping the list. “I’m in the mood for some spice.”

After walking a few blocks they found themselves at the restaurant, scanning the menu above the cash register. They ordered – a beef plate for Chloe and chicken plate for Penny – and had stood off to the side waiting for their respective numbers to be called, when they were interrupted.

“So we go years without seeing each other and then all of a sudden it’s three times in one week?” Tom called from behind a partition.

“Oh my God,” Penny said, laughing with actual mirth for the first time all day. “What are the odds?”

“Nice to see you again,” Chloe added.

“Are you all dining in?” Tom asked, eyes shifting between the two women.

“Yeah,” Chloe chimed in. “Needed to get out of the office for a little while.”

“I feel that,” Tom replied. “You’re welcome to join us.”

Penny looked at Chloe, who nodded her agreement. Neither woman asked who “us” was.

Their numbers were called and when they’d collected their food they slid into the booth, leaving space around the plate of veggie tacos that had been placed in front of an empty chair.

“How’s your week shaping up?” Chloe asked Tom.

He shrugged. “Mondays are always rough, but it’s all downhill from here.”

“What is management like? Do you have a routine?” Chloe continued. “Like with reporting, there’s a certain cadence with different deadlines and interviews. Is there a similar thing for you all?”

“Sort of. If we’re on tour a lot of people have a routine they like to stick to. When we’re in the office, it’s a little less structured. Depends on what each client is working on.”

Penny kept her eyes on her plate, her thoughts still focused on her earlier conversation with Darren. Eyes on the floor, she saw the white loafers and yellow socks before the face of the man they belonged to.

“You’re out to lunch with Tom?” Penny asked in disbelief when her eyes met Harry’s.

“Yeah. I didn’t think there’d be a problem with that,” he mumbled as he sat in front of the plate.

“I’m Chloe. I don’t think we’ve met,” Chloe interjected helpfully.

“Harry,” Harry returned, extending his hand.

Penny stared daggers at him, but Harry refused to look at her. Penny knew he was observing her though, feeling his eyes burning into her whenever she looked away. Neither of them spoke, leaving Tom and Chloe to fill the silence with banal conversation.

As they chattered on, Penny continued to feel the heat of Harry’s glare on her.

“Can I help you?” she finally snapped.

“What?” he shot back.

“If you have something to say, just fucking say it.”

“I’ve got nothing to say,” he said, spooning some mushrooms and peppers into his mouth.

“Really? Because it looks like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“OK, then,” Harry shot back, putting his spoon down next to his plate. “Why’d you give my album such a shit review?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I do!”

“That’s a great argument,” Penny said, rolling her eyes.

“Well how about this,” Harry said, turning to face her. “I’m trying to figure out how someone who supposedly loves music and everything it stands for can be such a hater.”

“A hater?” Penny could feel the prickly sensation behind her eyes that meant tears were just moments away. “I’m sorry. The 90s called and they want their slang back.”

“Yeah, all of your reviews are just so…mean. It’s like you forget there’s someone behind that album.”

“Almost like forgetting there’s a person behind the review?”

“Don’t twist my words like that.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying it’s a two way street.”

“All you are is a second-rate journalist who isn’t good enough to work for a legitimate publication, so instead of saying things that actually matter, you just share your shitty takes to try to get Twitter clout.”

Penny could feel her lips tremble, but she was determined to not give Harry the satisfaction of seeing her cry. “You know, it’s generally frowned upon to harass a journalist in a public setting just because you don’t care for what they have to say.” She sniffed and much to her chagrin, she could feel her eyes getting wet. “But now you’ve got me crying in a restaurant so I hope you’re satisfied.” She grabbed her purse, leaving her food nearly untouched on the table. “I’ll see you back at the office, Chloe.”

Chloe and Tom’s eyes followed her as she walked out of the restaurant. Harry kept his eyes locked on his plate.

“I should probably check on her,” Chloe said after a moment.

“That might be for the best,” Tom said. “Let me grab a box. You can take her her food.”

Chloe picked up her own bag and leftovers, balancing them alongside Penny’s. “Wish this could have been longer but…” she trailed off as Tom nodded. She looked at Harry. “I’m not entirely sure what this is about but I’ve never met anyone who loves music more than Penny, so whatever assumptions you have about her, she’s not a ‘hater.’ She’s also not second-rate. She’s fucking brilliant, but maybe you’re just too dumb to see that.” She turned on her heel and walked out of the restaurant.

Harry picked up his spoon and started pushing the remaining vegetables and bits of tortilla around on his plate. The air was heavy with the unspoken questions on Tom’s tongue. “Go ahead and say it,” Harry said after a moment.

“Is there something going on with you?” Tom asked, point blank. “You’ve been kind of moody lately and I’m here if you want to talk.”

Harry looked up at him. “That wasn’t what I was expecting you to say.”

“Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m pissed that you yelled at my friend like that, but whatever issues you all have it’s not my business and I don’t want to get in the middle of it.”

“Sorry,” Harry said, a little more firmly. “I just – I haven’t been feeling great and I’m sure this is just a byproduct of whatever that is.”

“Studio stress?”

“Yeah, that,” Harry said, taking the out he was handed.

“Well, you can always talk to me, man. Just gotta let me know that something’s going on.”

Harry nodded and focused on finishing his lunch.

***

Back in the newsroom, Penny picked at the remnants of her lunch that Chloe had deposited on her desk, refreshing the feeds in her RSS reader while she waited on Darren’s edits. When he Slacked her that he was through, she opened the Google Doc to find that he had completely rewritten it. Ordinarily, she would have fought back, challenging him on everything down to the placement of commas, but she felt too drained after her earlier bout with him and the subsequent battle with Harry.

She signed off on the two rounds of edits as quickly as she could and returned to refreshing her browser.

“Are you ready to talk?” Chloe asked, poking her head over the frosted glass between them.

Penny shrugged. “Not much to discuss. I suck at doing my job. Darren agrees! Harry agrees! So does Walt from who the hell knows! I should just quit while I’m ahead.”

“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “Who is Walt and how does he factor into this equation?”

“Just some jerk on Twitter who also thinks I can’t write for shit.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Chloe said. “That’s how much time you have left to wallow. After that, you have to get up, look in the mirror, and realize that you are a bad bitch who deserves this job more than anyone.”

“I deserve twenty minutes,” Penny shot back. “But thank you for the words of encouragement. I know I just need to move on, but it’s hard to do that when it feels like this happens every fucking day just because Darren thinks I’m an idiot.”

“I know, Pen, but you just have to hang in there.” Chloe looked around before leaning in closer. “I heard a rumor that Darren’s days are numbered so things may be looking up for you.”

“Seriously?” The long running joke of the newsroom was that Darren had witnessed the CEO of the company hit someone with his car and that’s how he managed to land the job and stay gainfully employed for as long as he had.

“You didn’t hear it from me,” Chloe said, sinking back into her desk chair.

On slow days like this one, Penny typically filled her afternoon with source calls and research for future stories but with her motivation subzero, she made her way to the parking garage at 5pm on the dot, ready for a night of wine, takeout, and Friends reruns.

When she reached her car, she was surprised to find Tom there.

“Hey…” she said slowly.

“Hey, I didn’t want to miss you.”

“Should I be worried?” she asked jokingly. “I run into you after years of silence and a week later you’re waiting for me at my car?”

“I promise I’m not following you,” Tom said with a laugh. “I just had to tell you…I know this means nothing coming from me, but Harry isn’t usually like that.”

Penny sighed. “I don’t care, Tom. It’s been a day and I’d rather just move on to prepare for tomorrow’s battles.”

“I know, but it’s important to me that you know the truth.”

“Trying to make sure I don’t start a nasty rumor about your client?”

“No, just trying to make sure you don’t have the wrong idea about a great guy.”

“Great guy?” Penny’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “Are you trying to set me up with him now? Because I’m not interested.”

“No,” Tom huffed, rolling his eyes. “Although there could be something there…”

“Nope, not happening,” Penny said.

“Seriously,” Tom said, the earnestness returning to his eyes. “Harry’s a good guy and I think under the right circumstances you all would actually get along.”

“Tom, even if we were the last people on Earth tasked with repopulating the planet, I’d rather let the human race go extinct than willingly spend time with Harry Styles.”

“Wow, that’s uh, harsh and vivid,” Tom said, scratching the back of his neck. “You just need to understand that he’s under a lot of pressure with the new album.”

“New album?” That caught Penny’s attention.

“Shit!” Tom exclaimed, realizing the magnitude of what he’d shared. “That’s entirely off the record. I’m serious, Pen!”

“Woodward and Bernstein had Deep Throat telling them government secrets in a garage, and I have Tom Skoglund blabbing album releases next to my decrepit Toyota…does this mean my Pulitzer is on the way.”

“I mean it, Penny. I could get in a lot of trouble.”

“It’s fine, Tom. I’m not going to tell anyone. I’ll see you later.”

Tom nodded and headed back to the Full Stop office as Penny climbed into her car and pulled out of the garage.

Later that night after two glasses of wine and about 10 episodes of Friends, Penny decided to sign into her work email. She told herself that she wouldn’t check work emails off the clock, but she always gave into the temptation. She scrolled past the usual news alerts and reader feedback until one subject line stopped her cold.

“An Apology.”

She opened it before she realized what she was doing.

Hi Penny, the email began

It’s Harry. I’d like to apologize for the way I acted at Tom’s party the other night, as well as what I said in the restaurant earlier today. You’re right – it was entirely inappropriate for me to behave that way, and I’m sincerely sorry for any hurt or hard feelings that may have come about on your end as a result.

I just wanted to get this off my chest and conscience.

Hope your evening is treating you well.

All the best,

Harry

Penny was speechless, staring at her phone as Ross Geller’s cries of “We were on a break!” and the subsequent laugh track echoed in her empty apartment.

Harry had apologized.

When she recovered, her first instinct was to text Tom, attaching a screenshot of the email.

Did you put him up to this? she asked.

No, came Tom’s swift reply. See what I mean though? Not a bad guy.

Penny reread the email once, twice, three times, taking in the way he’d introduced himself, but left off his last name. The way his writing was devoid of exclamation points. The effort finding her address and sending the email entailed.

She doubted he’d got it from Tom, seeing as Tom had no clue about the message, which meant he’d either pulled it from The Moment’s website or her Twitter bio. Either option meant he’d taken the time to look her up, typing her name into the search bar to find her profile. Knowing that Harry had searched for her specifically made her feel some type of way. She wasn’t sure what.

She didn’t like Harry Styles, but maybe he wasn’t as horrible as she thought.

***

talk to me! || join the taglist || story inspo 

taglist: @harrysfolklore​ @platinumbarbie143​ @majasophieanna​ @lukesaprince​ @styles217​ @andwhenshesays​ @be-with-me-so-happily​ 

[marsgalaxias]

if you like friends to lovers yearning here's a little writing piece I did

'I frequently have such vivid, realistic dreams where my brain throws together what I call a perfect little mind salad. The perfect person. Someone caring, gentle, funny, soft, sweet. When I wake up, there’s this terrible, terrible feeling in my chest. That perfect person is torn from me, and I’m left with the bitter reality that no, no one has loved me like that. I spend all day reflecting and mourning that dream, that person. What hurts the most is the fact that I cannot see their face after I wake up, I can barely recall it once I stir. And so I mourned for someone I never knew, who never lived.

Last night felt like one of those dreams. So perfect that I was scared that as soon as I left the moment, I would never return. I’d wake up in my bed and realize that no, they did not exist, and I was truly losing my mind. But I woke up today and I went to school, and there they were, in the flesh. For once there was no need for a funeral.

I don’t typically connect well with people. I’m able to get an instant sense when I’ve run into someone who I know I will get along with. It was like that with them, that intuitive feeling that this stranger who I tracked down on the internet would be important. I just wanted to acquaint myself with people who would be in my class, and they happened to be one of the first I stumbled upon.

Even more rarely do I feel that I am completely alone with someone. Very rarely do I block out everything else but the person I’m with. But with them, that’s exactly what happened. Nothing existed outside of the now, in those moments. I can still recall the fine details, the way their messy hair flipped about in the wind, the green boxed flannel they wore, the rings on their hands as they gripped the steering wheel, the soup they ordered from panera, what songs they softly played in the background.

I will be honest, I was not picturing a small bridge when I imagined what we would get up to that day, rather a dock. However, that's still eerily similar. How it lined up so perfectly. I shot a few polaroids, and then I sat back and we chatted. But there was still so much distance between us. I hate it, the way I’m so eager for their presence. So I laid down, knowing it was only natural for them to follow. Slowly, as the sun sank further, we grew closer. I have never had the chance to meet someone so genuine, honest, open. From a foot apart, to shoulder to shoulder, my legs eventually bent up and resting against theirs, absentmindedly fiddling with their hands while they felt mine. By the time we had to leave, I found our faces only inches apart. And they curved a hand around my cheek, holding me like I was paper, like I was too delicate to truly grasp, lest they harm me, but they had to keep me from blowing into the breeze.

It was too early for a kiss, and I think we both knew that, but I think we both dearly craved for our flesh to connect. Their thumb brushed my lips, the closest they could get to them now. When we finally pried ourselves from the wooden boards, I clung to them. They clung to me. I was so scared to let go, to let this energy go. I was scared to wake up.

I’ve rewound the film in my head, over and over. I played it while I muttered my choir lyrics, while my English teacher droned on, while my friend babbled about some dumb assignment. I’ve found myself reaching my hand up to my face, to re-feel what they felt, because I am too scared to love them like that openly. I wish I wasn’t, but I’m so scared. Scared that I’m wrong, that they don't actually care that much, that I’m being tugged along by someone who will discard me in the end, because words seem to mean shit to anyone else. Time after time of being left by people who I would have died for, I’m so scared to go through that all again. To plan more funerals.

I’m so deep into this already. I’ve lost my appetite. I’ve lost sleep. I’ve lost focus. I have been infatuated with people before, but it’s never been this bad. I wonder how they would feel, knowing all that I’m going through because on that bridge I refused to sit how friends sit.

“And I know you’re scared, well I’m scared too, but everytime I try to make lunch for someone else, in my head I end up dreaming of you. And you come to me, good morning,” you sang as I weaved my hand through the wind out the window. You’d sworn that the chorus was good, to be patient, and apologized if it was a song I disliked. Now I sit here and I play it on loop, because as I write, the film is becoming blurry. I’m scared I’m waking up like I thought I would. And you’re off playing with your friends, and I know I shouldn’t panic, I know I shouldn’t rotate around you, but I can’t keep my mind off of it. I’m so scared that if I don’t keep watching the film, I’ll lose it. And so I’m still watching. I’m still watching us tip toe around the topic we both are internally begging to discuss. I’m watching us silently explore how the other person makes us feel. I’m watching someone touch me with one of the purest forms of love I think I have ever experienced. I’m watching a dream.

But it’s not, and I know that, but it may as well be. We’ll never discuss it, especially not at school. This tightrope we’re walking is very, very fine. I tremble with each step, and you hold me as if to promise I won’t fall, but we don’t say a word to each other.

“I get lost, I freak out, you come home and hold me tight as if it never happened at all.”

Can you sense my desperation? My fear?

“Show me the place where he inserted the blade.”

Perhaps that’s a story for another star gazing session.

“Good morning.”

Good morning. Am I still dreaming?'

(the song referenced is The Place Where He Inserted The Blade by Black Country, New Roads)

[taey0ngsvape]

wayv’s relationship styles as taylor swift lyrics

pairing: ot6 x reader genre: headcannons, fluff word count: 1.1k contains: idol!wayv, so much fluff, just them being cute

for my swifties out there <3

Kun

“i want your midnights

i’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year’s day” 

- New Year’s Day (reputation, track 15)

This is my favorite Taylor Swift song Ever, it is so indescribably special to me, and I think it’s perfect for Kun.

To me, this song is about a resilient relationship of strength and support. No matter what sort of obstacles you face or mistakes you make, at the end of the day, you always come back to each other.

I think he would want a lot of reassurance from his partner, sometimes he finds himself wondering if he’s doing enough. His busy schedule makes it hard for him to spend as much time with you as he wishes he could and sometimes he just needs a verbal confirmation that it’s enough and that you love him no matter what.

This song also reminds me of a more domestic type of love. Like he’ll wash the dishes while you dry them or dancing together in the kitchen at midnight while cooking something for him to eat after coming home from a late practice. 

Just likes a reminder that regardless of the hardships you face, together and individually, you’ll always be together at the end. 

Ten

“i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden” 

- Daylight (Lover, track 18)

He’s very passionate about everything, dancing, performing, he gives every ounce of energy he has. But when it comes to love, it’s different.

His love is less of burning fire and more of consistent warmth, light, and comfort. 

He can brighten up any day, no matter how bad it ends up being. One smile and you already feel miles better than before. 

He would sit with you for hours and just talk about anything and everything. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good day or a bad one, he just likes hearing about your life. He’s the kind of person who values a deep connection and he wants to know you as much as he can. 

He’s gentle and caring, but he’ll still tease you sometimes. He never takes it too far though, he can read you well and knows when to stop before crossing a line. Little jabs are a part of his love language, but he balances them out by being attentive and affectionate.

Winwin

“i’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you’re about to cry

and i know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams” 

- You Belong With Me (Fearless, track 6)

Falling asleep on FaceTime together would become a routine whenever you’re apart.

You get used to him calling in the late hours of the night after he’s finished work for the day he just wants to hear your voice. He likes hearing about your day, even the most mundane things (those are actually his favorite details) like the lady with a little dog in her purse on the bus or the woman in a business suit and headphones dancing by herself on the sidewalk. He likes the fact that you’re so open with him, always willing to share yourself.

It makes him want to do the same for you as well. I don’t think it would take long at all for you to really get to know him well, especially once he gets comfortable around you. Your late night talks would become his favorite thing.

Xiaojun

“all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing” 

- Sweet Nothing (Midnights, track 12)

This lyric goes both ways in your relationship. He’s always supportive of you and doesn’t expect you to try and “repay” him in any way, he does it because he loves you and wants you to be happy. 

I once heard someone describe this song as “everyone wants something from me, you just want me” and I think that’s exactly the case with Xiaojun. He’s an idol, he is constantly surrounded by people who all want something from him, expect something from him, so he absolutely treasures the fact that you just want him.

He also doesn’t seem like one for grand gestures but instead he’s more subtle about showing his care for you, like holding onto little pieces of information about you like your favorite food so he can cook it for you at some point, or a movie you mentioned so you two can watch it together. 

His love is in the little things but they all add up.

Hendery

“you carry my groceries and now i’m always laughing” 

- Stay, Stay, Stay (Red, track 9)

He would find so much joy and comfort in the domesticity of your relationship.

Late night runs to the grocery store for ice cream, sitting next to him while he games with your head on his shoulder, cooking together, he loves the moments when it’s just the two of you.

Also, he loves your laugh and he loves it even more when you’re laughing because of him. He tells corny jokes and embarrassing stories all in the hope of making you smile. 

He’s all fond smiles with a tender, loving gaze. He also likes holding your hand and it hurts him that he can’t hold your hand in public so he tries to make up for it when you’re alone.

Yangyang

“you can hear it in the silence

you can feel it on the way home

you can see it with the lights out” 

- You Are In Love (1989 (Deluxe Version), track 15)

Even without verbal declarations of love happening very often, he will make sure that you never ever doubt how much he cares about you. 

Likes spending time with you as much as possible, it doesn’t even matter what you’re doing. You could be hanging out in his room and just talking and that’s more than enough for him. He just loves being around you.

Very attentive and a good listener but he also knows how to add to the conversation and give advice or support. He definitely seems like the type to love dates where you just stay in, order some of your favorite food, and talk for hours. 

When you get tired, he’d ask you to stay “just a little longer” and when you lean on him he plays with your hair until you’re about to fall asleep. Even then, he would still ask you to stay, it’s an unspoken ‘I love you.’

If you do decide to go home, he’d drive you himself so he can make sure you get home safely. 

Never ends a day without sending a goodnight text.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

For the fic title game, yet another shamelessly stolen song lyric: hearts will break (for future's sake)

EEEEEEE BRUH I’ve never heard that song and have no clue what it is but what a BANGER line

Okay so I’ve never done this with the newsies fandom only because i haven’t really written much for it, but I’m a sucker for reconciliation. Just an absolute slut for Right Person Wrong Time, so I think that’s what I would make this hypothetical fic about.

omg omg omg and it would be one of those double timeline fics where it jumps between the past and present as a nod to the (for future’s sake)

my vibe for the Past Timeline is: Jack and Davey meet and hit it off VERY quickly because they are them and inexplicably drawn to each other. I’m thinking college freshman era, maybe they’re roommates?? Yeah, yeah they’re roommates let’s roll with it. Past Timeline would ideally jump around through their four years of college in order of relevance to the Current Timeline (we’ll get there, bear with me. There’s a bear with me. His name is Fred. He’s a menace) but begin with their last interaction/falling out and end with their first meeting— Think JICFEBDHGA, If the scenes were the alfabético and alphabetical order was chronological.

The general vibe I’m going for is Jack being head over heels in love with Davey and Davey just having NO FUCKING CLUE because Jack is his friend, his buddy, his rotten soldier, his sweet cheese, his good time boy. But like, Davey is just so Repressed (not in a gay way, he knows he’s 💅🏽, he just doesn’t talk about his feelings and isn’t in touch with them because Oldest Brother Syndrome) that he’s like “yeah this Amazing Feeling and Deep Connection is just friendship :)”.

Meanwhile Jack desires this fucking weirdo he’s stumbled upon carnally and is literally obsessed with him and always dropping casual “I love you’s” “I would marry you in a heartbeat” “for real I want you in my life forever” bc he’s got that All Or Nothing personality and Davey’s dumbass is just like OH YOU!

That all ends poorly because eventually Jack’s like. Dude I am IN LOVE WITH YOU!!! But there is An Obstacle (maybe Davey’s already met someone else and Jack’s too late, maybe Davey thinks he doesn’t feel the same??) and jack… hoooooo boi that guy can NOT handle a) rejection (rejection sensitive dysphoria anyone???) and 2) the idea of davey Not Choosing Him so he DIPS. Skips out on graduation, and moves back to his hometown (Santa Fe)

This is the vibe for Present Timeline: it’s been several years, Davey hasn’t thought about jack in ages (that’s a lie, he was having his midnights moment like. Last night. CAUSE HE WAS SUNSHINE I WAS MIDNIGHT RAIN! ) but Jack’s in Santa Fe anyway and is married and has a kid according to Facebook a few years ago so rip Davey trying to find the colors jack painted his life :/ bc of That WS Just Friendship he hasn’t found anything CLOSE in ages. But surprise! He stops for covfefe and guess who the FUCK is the barista? In New York? Guess who the FUCK has been living there with his daughter (sorry I’m in a very Single Father!Jack mood) for SIX MONTHS and never said a WORD to Davey??

Anyway, this timeline would go in straight chronological order and follow them reconnecting, hashing out their old shit, deciding if they want to be together (they do) and what that looks like. So think 0123456789 numerical order being chronological.

So on the whole, the order would be something like:

0J1I2C3F4E5B6D7H8G9A (come out looking like a fucking verification code 😭) if that makes sense???

Anyway. That was a lot, whoops! But this was actually so fun to do while I wait for my laundry! :D

[jkfanfr]

Vegas and Pete FF- KinnPorsche The Series (BL)

Another VegasXPete fanfic as i cannot get enough of them recently. Their connection was off the roof in the series and it’s made me watch it over and over again.

Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to actual actors, this is pure fantasy for the series characters 🤍

Requests open, and have fun reading my lovelies

SMUT CONTENT WARNING ;)

SOME MATURE LANGUAGE USED

SIGNITURE LINE AHEAD 🤭 Let me know if you can find it

—————————————————————————

Vegas took his seat at the booth, right in front of Kinn and Porsche, who were holding hands under the table, as if no one could see them doing so. Kinn raised his eyebrow at Vegas, who was giving his signature smirk at the stage beside them.

Pete gulped hard as he stepped onto the stage, smiling nervously at the same time. The big lights were off, making the whole place dark as he took his spot in the middle of the stage.

Though he was a famous idol, with many fans screaming his name, awed at the sight of his handsome self, begging to take a peek underneath his already revealing clothes, Pete was an anxious one. He was worried about what people thought and every time he stepped on stage, his little frights of his own power and ability come in to play at the same time, taking his through a never ending cycle of worrisomeness.

Pete finally made eye contact with Vegas, who had a sweet smile sprouting on his face. Though they were in close proximity, it felt they were so far away from each other. Pete just wanted to run into his arms, as they hug and kiss endlessly with the same bliss, passion and love as the first time.

Back-up dancers took the stage, assuring him that he’ll be ok. They’re very supportive with Pete’s stage fright, helping him and always by his side when they ever need him. Pete felt safer once they were around, they weren’t just back-up dancers, they were friends, best friends.

Pete sighed softly, standing in the middle of the stage in his starting pose, looking at Vegas one last time before the lights slowly started turning on. He was singing a cover of ‘Love Talk’ by WayV, which he had been working on for a while. (stan wayv btw) The lyrics really hint at specific something, which Pete typically liked (horny ass b-)

He felt the lights turn on quicker, signalling him to start off. Pete moved swiftly to the music, his voice angelic and deep as he kept a nervous smile on his face, which soon turned more confident and teasing.

i can hear it callin 

loving the way you wanna talk 

touch me tease me feel me up

As Pete danced the night away, Vegas couldn’t help but admire his beautiful boy, how innocent but sexy he looked. Pete was effortlessly winning everyone’s hearts.

you got me sayin you got me sayin

how you doin tell me what’s your name

what’s your sign 

feeling like your into me

yeah waiting for you 

i just want you to come over where i’m stayin 

He heard so many awed whispers and saw many people giggling and filming him. It was completely normal to Pete, but to Vegas, it got his blood boiling 

fallin for a stranger good gracious 

i might even fly out to Vegas

thinking maybe you’d be down to do it

but you don’t know what i’m sayin

Even watching Kinn smile at his moves, Porsche screaming the loudest for his best friend, made Vegas feel jealousy crawl up his skin. 

got me goin through the roof 

really don’t care what we do

we could fly to the moon

i can see your lips movin but we ain’t got a clue

Pete kept his sweet but teasing look in his face, making Vegas sweat in his chair. He shifted around a lot, unable to feel comfortable. His jealousy and possessiveness was getting to him.

baby we’re two distant strangers

i know you don’t speak my language 

but i love the way you’re talking to me..

Even the way Pete said ‘baby’ made Vegas wanna call him over and take him to where they’re staying

i can hear it callin 

from where you are

loving the way you wanna talk 

touch me tease me feel me up

touch me tease me feel me up

Pete smirked at Vegas’ reaction to him, making him gulp hard, bottling up all his jealous and angry emotions just so he doesn’t cause a scene. He was very possessive when it came to Pete, Vegas wanted him all for his own. He didn’t want everyone enjoying what he called his, but as expected, Vegas had no choice but to comply with Pete and his job. He supported Pete a lot when it came to it. 

call me when it’s after dark

something in the way you wanna talk

touch me tease me feel me up

touch me tease me feel me up

Pete was beyond hot when he was dancing, how perfectly swift and talented he was made Vegas all giddy on the inside. He had a problem down in his trousers, biting his lip to control his body which was acting differently to his mind. Vegas’ body was desperate for Pete, wanting to run on stage and pull him into his arms, while his mind was urging him to sit still in his seat. 

He didn’t want Kinn and Porsche to notice him either, so he had no choice but to act like a dog and not move and inch. 

Porsche- “Wow!! My best friend is awesome! Go Pete!”

Kinn- “He’s very good, don’t you think so Vegas?”

Vegas was in his own world at this moment, admiring Pete with jealousy overflowing in his eyes, which were deepening in red.

Porsche- “Vegas..?”

Kinn tapped his hand, making Vegas look around aimlessly as if he doesn’t know anything. 

Vegas- “Yeah..? What happened?”

Porsche- “Kinn asked if you think Pete is good?”

Vegas- “My boy is more than good..”

Vegas responded back, adoring Pete once more with his eyes, licking his bottom lip as he gave his signature smirk to Pete. Kinn and Porsche laughed softly at Vegas’ response.

Though Vegas was enjoying it all, something immediately caught his attention. Pete ripped half of his shirt, exposing his defined and toned abs, which Vegas wouldn’t of expected. 

Porsche- “Ooh!! Pete is so saucy, damn”

Porsche let out a breath before laughing with Kinn once more, they both were watching Pete, having fun watching him perform. It was obvious Pete was very confident at this moment, as his thrusted his hips forward, grinning a little as he did so. The crowd got even wider as Vegas’ mouth hung open, unable to let out any words. 

Kinn- “Woah!” 

Porsche- “Pete is really taking his chances”

Kinn- “Very seriously”

Pete smirked as he met eye contact with Vegas, as Vegas was still stunned. Did he do this to get on Vegas’ nerves? Cause god it was working well, as he looked around the audience with even more envy in his eyes. You could call him a green-eyes monster.

Vegas- “Fuck, you’re killing me babe..”

Vegas whispered to himself in a soft and quiet tone, feeling a lump in his throat. As he kept his eyes on Pete, he sipped on his water, basically finishing 3 cups just to maintain his composure.

Pete- “I know you all like it”

Pete talked in a monotone voice, no melody, no rhythm either as he thrusted again. Vegas nearly spat out his water, as his eyes widened at Pete. Many people were screaming louder, their phones on the fly as they all awed at Pete’s moves.

How deep Pete’s voice was once he said that, his teasing and playful expression on his face. God it made Vegas melt in his chair

Vegas- “You better watch we get home Pete.”

He whispered quietly to himself, as he bit his own cheek, leaning forward just to see Pete even more.

Porsche- “Man, he’s really making him angry babe.. Pete is in for a wild night”

Porsche whispered to Kinn, making them look at each other. Porsche felt a little worried for Pete’s safety after this, mainly for his legs.

Kinn- “I can agree on that love, Pete better watch his steps tonight. And i don’t know about you, but i find his jealousy highly entertaining”

Kinn let out a louder laugh, Porsche playfully punching his shoulder

Porsche- “Kinn stop that!”

Porsche couldn’t help but laugh as well. The green eyed monster was doing his job very well, and they even grinned at each other, knowing Pete was in for a treat.

oh tell me babe, tell me how you like it babe 

i don’t even know your name

i love the way you’re talking to me..

Pete ended his performance, sweating his life away, but satisfied with his work. On the other hand, Vegas was in war with his own mind and body. He looked at Kinn and Porsche who were clapping with the rest of the audience.

It took a lot of work for Vegas to not go and question Pete, or even ruin him deliriously, for that hot and sweaty performance. He wanted Pete all for himself at times like this.

Kinn- “Uhh..Vegas..?”

Vegas- “What is it Kinn?!”

Vegas talked in a stern and serious tone, the green eyed monster taking an effect on everyone around him. Kinn and Porsche already got their answers from Vegas’ reaction. 

They knew Vegas was a bit possessive when it came to Pete. He loved him deeply, he was too scared to lose someone so important to him. His past lover did so, and left Vegas alone till he met Pete, who made his life liveable. No one talks about Vegas’ past lover, they have nothing to do with his or anyone else’s mind anymore. Both Kinn and Porsche knew Vegas was scared he’d lose Pete to one of those fans, which is why he was so protective of him. He didn’t wanna loose the most important person to him. He couldn’t.

Porsche- “Calm down Vegas, what’s wrong?”

Vegas- “Nothing is wrong Porsche”

Kinn- “There is Vegas, just tell us”

Vegas- “I’ll tell him instead”

Vegas pointed at Pete who was now going off stage. Little did Vegas know, Pete knew just how he was. He knew Vegas would be struggling with his jealousy. 

Vegas scratched the back of his nape, standing up from his seat. He walked down heaps of stairs making his way towards Pete, who seemed to be making twists and turns around there corridors. It seemed he was trying to run away from Vegas’s might

Pete seemed to know what was coming, and what’s the harm of a good ol’ chase hmm?

Vegas- “Pete. I see you”

Pete heard Vegas’ voice as he seemed to get closer, as he was swerving past many people just to get by. Vegas was so close to pulling him into his embrace. Just when too many people got in the way, causing him too lose Pete in the crowd of make-up artists.

They were opposite of each other, looking at one another from the sides of the crowd. Pete smirked at Vegas, sticking his tongue out.

Pete- “Come get me then”

Pete replied back to his words in a louder tone, as Vegas laughed softly, pulling out one of his signature smirks.

Vegas- “Just you wait babyboy, daddy’s coming..”

Pete started running away, escaping the crowd and Vegas too, well..as it seemed to be. As Pete turned the corner, he was met with a tall, well-built chest, shirt unbuttoned a little. He knew what he collided with instantly.

Vegas- “Seems you came to me instead baby..”

Pete- “Im getting changed, wait”

Pete tried to escape, but Vegas pulled him back towards him, now both of their chest colliding. Vegas looked down at Pete’s ripped shirt, and smirked once more

Vegas- “You won’t be getting changed anymore love”

Pete- “Im sweaty hun, i need to change”

Vegas- “Don’t make excuses to run away from me. You know what you were doing on that stage”

Pete- “What was i doing?”

Pete asked so innocently, it made Vegas wanna pin him to the wall and explain it through actions. Vegas kept his cool, looking at Pete with the same smirk as always.

Vegas- “I don’t care what you were doing anymore. Just know that.. i will consume you.”

Vegas stepped closer to Pete, making their thighs touch. Pete gulped hard, looking at Vegas with playfulness but a bit of worry for his sanity.

Pete- “Im never listening to Porsche’s ideas ever again..”

Vegas- “What was that love?”

Pete- “Nothing”

Seems like Porsche decided to pickpocket an idea from his mind and innocently hand it over to Pete. Jealousy is common is suppose, very common.

Vegas- “Are you ready?”

Pete- “For what?”

Pete looked at him all confused, like he didn’t hear Vegas’ words from before.

Vegas- “You’re in for a treat babyboy, come with me”

Pete- “But i’m not ready to leave-“

Vegas- “Ah ah ah..”

Vegas put his finger on Pete’s lips, settling him down and keeping him quiet

Vegas- “You caused this, so you’ll fix it for me right?”

He asked, looking down at the bulge in his trousers, Pete followed his eyes looking down as well. His eyes widened slightly, as i stood back

Pete- “No!”

Pete declined instantly, his face delicately flushed with flowery pink. His sweet vanilla aroma flourishing their close proximity. His shirt ripped in half still, his abs dripping in deep but salty looking sweat, making Vegas lick his lips to control the urge to lick it all off.

Vegas- “You’re coming with me”

And with that, Pete was dragged through back stage, apologising to anyone he runs into by accident. His hand was held tight, locked with super glue as Vegas’ horny and jealous mood was really showing. Pete wanted to laugh so hard, but he knew it wouldn’t end how he wanted to if he did that.

Pete- “Vegas calm down”

Vegas- “How about no?”

He replied in a strict and monotone voice, making Pete chuckle softly. Vegas heard him and looked at him for a second

Vegas- “What are you laughing at hun?”

Pete- “Nothing”

Pete tried to hold in his laughter, but couldn’t. Looking at Pete laugh, his cute and beautiful smile as his teeth showed. Pete looked like a little bunny, and that thought made Vegas smile himself. He’d kill to see his smile all day, his happy and sweet boy.

And although Vegas was getting manipulated by Pete’s smile, he continued to take his little rascal to their car. He threw him in the backseat, crawling on top of him immediately. No time was to be wasted.

Pete- “Vegas? Are you sure you want to do this here?”

Pete asked a little nervous, though he wanted Vegas to wreck him badly, take away his sanity as he begs for mercy underneath him. All that was getting him riled up, his trousers feeling tighter against his skin.

Vegas started playing with his ripped shirt, unbuttoning the leftover buttons slowly just to tease Pete.

Vegas- “I’ll do you whenever i please baby”

Pete- “Thats not how it works love”

Pete laughed softly, making Vegas’ eyebrows raise at his confidence.

Vegas- “I don’t need to question you about it, i know you’d agree straight away”

That made Pete gulp hard, pulling Vegas close to him. Pete made the first move, shoving his lips onto Vegas’, moving passionately and harshly against his lips. Pete’s lips were plump and sweet, as Vegas’ honey lips tried its hardest to devour every inch of them.

Vegas- “Fuck-the things you make me wanna do..”

Vegas muttered under his breath, his tone being as deep as ever, his signature smirk plastered across his face. Pete’s lips curved into a smile, getting pulled closer by Vegas. Their chests collided straight away, as Vegas looked around the car. He was searching for something, as Pete stayed still, laying down like a good boy.

Vegas- “Shit-there’s none in the car..we have to go home..get in the front seat”

Pete did as he was told, quickly getting up and climbing into the front seat, Vegas hastily getting into the one next to him and revving up the engine.

Time Skip-

Vegas grabbed a condom, opening the packet as Pete did the honours of undoing his belt and trousers. They quickly undressed, excited for what’s to come, both falling on the bed.

Vegas- “Your body is beautiful baby..no wonder they all want it”

Vegas curses at himself for basically allowing those fans to admire his boy. He loved Pete’s curves, how smooth and warm they felt in his palms.

Pete- “But only one person can have it”

Vegas suddenly smirked, looking at him with interest again. His fingers twirled around in his soft and silky hair, he other free hand stroking his already hard cock

Vegas- “And who’s that?”

Pete- “Vegas Theerapanyakul”

Vegas- “You tease”

Vegas replied with his eyebrows raised, as Pete suddenly flipped him over, climbing onto his crotch and settling on top of his hard cock. Vegas looked at his boy seductively, his hands caressing his waist. Vegas bucked his hips and pushed upwards just to play with Pete, who groaned softly at the hard hit.

Pete- “Stop that Vegas”

Pete looked at his seriously but playfully, as Vegas laughed in a deep tone.

Vegas- “Why? Aren’t these games fun to you?”

Vegas pushed upwards again, Pete bouncing slightly as his groans became louder. Vegas continued to do his sinful actions, making Pete impatient.

Pete stopped him in his tracks, holding his shoulders down to the bed

Pete- “I said stop Vegas”

He said with a slight chuckle, as he grabbed Vegas’ cock, and shoved it up himself, making himself moan loudly. Vegas stared at him in shock, mouth open in the shape of an ‘O’.

Though Pete was struggling to help himself, Vegas was still stuck in the middle. Either to watch Pete enjoy his own cock, or to pound into him like a wild beast. Vegas loved his naughty boy when he wanted him so badly.

Vegas- “You’re one of a kind love, i’ve never seen anything like it..”

Pete- “You couldn’t seen anything like it before, i was the first one to offer you an ass”

Pete talks in a flirtatious tone, his fingers grazing Vegas’ chin sedulously. Vegas’ eyes fixated on Pete, unable to break their eye-contact.

Vegas- “But..you came to me first, it’s not my fault you couldn’t wait for it”

Vegas fights back with a credulous tone, his eyebrows raised slightly as he thrusts his hips up. Pete moaned softly at the short pleasure he experienced. But that was just the start of the ride.

Pete- “Don’t you mean, you couldn’t wait for it?”

Vegas- “Wait for what?”

Pete- “Me”

Vegas- “You’re such a fuckboy”

Pete- “What a nickname…”

Pete smirked as he started to bounce on Vegas’ crotch, his cock going in and out of his ass. His prostate was taking all that pain and pleasure, moreover that pain which he called pleasure. Pete began to moan louder and louder, taking Vegas’ hard length well, like he always does.

Vegas started to help him, the hot pleasure becoming overwhelming already. Their bodies started to become sweaty and warm, the sound of their skin slapping against each other mixed with their loud moans and graphic actions were so entertaining to watch and hear.

Vegas- “Fuck babe, c’mon, faster for me”

Pete bounced faster and harder, getting tired from the quick pace but not of the undeniable and sensual satisfaction of Vegas’ cock smashing into him.

Vegas- “You know how to do me babe. Be a slut and work for what you want”

Pete was obsessed with Vegas’ dirty sex talk, as it was such a bliss he enjoyed. He loved hearing it loud and clear, complying to whatever he says. He knew he was a slut for Vegas, one which he himself liked the taste of.

Pete- “Augh..~ I..It’s so good, more, more love”

Vegas continuously thrusted into Pete, hearing his heavenly moans in his ear was just what he desired. Vegas’ lips were all over Pete’s neck, tasting and devouring every inch he could get. Pete deliriously bounced upon him, unable to stop himself from letting out his moans.

Pete- “Im..i’m close Vegas, please!”

Vegas didn’t stop, suiting his boyfriend’s needs just how he liked it. Vegas recklessly thrusted into Pete, taking his time to view how much he appreciated his boy. Pete opened his eyes for the first time, looking at Vegas with content and love. They kissed a little as they both came upon each other.

It wasn’t just lust between the two of them, it was infatuation and deep affection. Both Vegas and Pete shard that tender intimacy which couldn’t be compared to. They were the most important person in each other’s lives.

As they both finished off with the night, the clock turning around to 4am, they laid in each other’s embrace, unable to escape from the warmth of the night. Pete faced the window, looked beyond at the city, as Vegas put his arms around his bare waist, keeping him close.

Vegas- “You ok love?”

Pete- “Except for my legs being in pain, my ass feeling numb and my abdomen wanting to kill itself, i’m doing just fine”

Pete talked in a sarcastic tone, serious but also joking. He was in a lot of pain though.

Vegas- “I’ll give you a nice massage and bath tomorrow ok?”

Pete- “Hmm, thank you. I love you Vegas baby”

Vegas- “I love you more my fuckboy”

Pete- “Why am i a fuckboy?”

Vegas- “You love being fucked-”

Pete- “Shut up and sleep”

Vegas laughed softly as Pete rolled his eyes, being sassy. They both closed their eyes, sleeping the night away in each other's dreams.

—————————————————————————

Thank you so much for reading my fanfiction! I’ll be back soon with another story for you to enjoy.

Requests are open! (BL’s are preferred for character development)

P.S- Thank you so much for all the support on my FF’s, i’ll continue to make many more!

See you soon my lovelies <88

-reii

[girlreviews]

Review #295: Random Access Memories, Daft Punk

It sort of blows my mind that this album is already over a decade old. It’s been out long enough that I listened to it too much, let it live in the wilderness for a while, and then fell in love with it again. I kinda think it might have been a little critically divisive at the time. Some people thought it was very commercial and really far away from what they had come to love about Daft Punk. But a lot of people didn’t mind the direction they had taken because it was still artistically really good. I definitely think it holds up. And I liked their older stuff a lot too. It’s okay to like both, not sure if everyone realizes that. We actually don’t have to fight about it guys! Not only did it have a lot more emotional and lyrical substance to it compared to previous work, but they were really adding in a lot of complexity with more mainstream instruments through their collaborations. It was really cool, what those robots did, man. They really did a lot for music in the 2000s. Even with their music videos and shit. Thank you robots.

This record came out in late May of 2013. I left the UK and moved back to the US in late June of 2013. That last month was spent with friends, spending quality time before we said goodbye, and we happened to get a few weeks of sunshine. Get Lucky had been released in April ahead of the full album, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. I remember my boy bestie sending it to me and being like, hey, fuckin’ listen to this, yeah? It had Nile Rogers from Chic in it! Fuck yeah! We fucking love some Chic! It’s about time people realized they were cool! By the end of the week our group chat was just back and forth of “We’re up all night to get [insert literally any two syllable word]”. It got old quickly to be honest, and eventually so did the song. But I still do melt right at the very end when its tiny little guitar riff gently repeats and fades out. I will always let the song play all the way through just so I can hear it end so perfectly. It never bothered me that it got so overplayed on the radio, it bothered me that on the radio, that guitar riff got talked over by the DJ EVERY FUCKING TIME. Criminal.

Then the rest of it came and every meetup or long weekend together was a lot of dancing, alongside a heated debate or deep and meaningful conversation about which track was the best. There were only a few people who were just too cool to admit that it was simply a great album. Always the usual suspects. I was always an outlier with my thoughts on the best track, which in my humble opinion is Touch, featuring Paul Williams. The same Paul Williams that wrote Kermit the Frog’s Rainbow Connection, and the entire Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrack. I imagine other people might cite other more famous works of his — but I really love the Muppets, and I’m proud of my choices. I think that fact alone is enough to make it the best track truth be told but it also happens to just be absolutely incredible. Lyrically, it actually blows my tiny mind. Multiple times throughout, actually. But musically it’s just out of this fucking world. Someone had this song in their mind, and brought it into existence so that it could be heard and witnessed by us all. I can listen to the piano alongside these electronic space travel noises gently lead into two robots beautifully singing to me, like a lullaby, until it descends into a whole-ass choir:

“Hold on

If love is the answer

You’re home”

On repeat. For awhile. Just long enough that you’re like. Wow yeah, I’m home! Everything’s gonna be okay! Thank you kind robots and children apparently in space! And then some violins are gently floating you back down to earth, with an up-tempo and assuring drumbeat. The children are still singing, but they’re getting further away. Suddenly. Paul’s back. And his voice is alone, eventually joined by the piano, which is somber. He’s very serious:

“Touch, sweet touch

You’ve given me too much to feel

Touch, sweet touch

You’ve almost convinced me I’m real

I need something more

I need something more”

WHAT? ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? WHERE HAVE I BEEN? AM I OKAY? WILL I EVER BE OKAY AGAIN?

I will, you will, we all will, but what’s just happened is, we have all just listened to an absolutely perfect and incredible work of pure emotional and artistic genius. When I hear this song it feels like my muscles relax. It makes my ears warm. It moves me. I’m not really joking when I say it’s literally a journey — no wait, a Broadway performance, featuring Nile Rogers — through time and space.

I believe we all agreed that Giorgio by Moroder was outstanding. I still agree with that. In fact from my love of the track I have gone on to listen to a lot more of Giorgio Moroder’s work, or maybe discovered that I had listened to a lot of it without really realizing. The part about the “click”, and the Moog modulator. I love thinking about this time in music, because there would have been this time where people heard sounds they had literally never heard before. I went to the Moog factory in Asheville, NC and it was the coolest shit ever. Nerdy, cool ass shit. Like Giorgio Moroder, and Daft Punk.

Random Access Memories was just the perfect soundtrack to that very sunny, sweet, and sort of sad time. I was gathering up my belongings and delivering the most special items to my friends (my records, my guitar, art, books), things I couldn’t bring with me, so that they could look after them until I got everything figured out. If I were to look at any pictures from those last few weeks in the UK, I know we would were all super fucked up in every single one. In our defense we were all 24/25 years old, and I don’t think we wanted to deal with our big feelings. I most certainly didn’t. And it was really fucking fun. We all felt the love. They are happy memories. Those are still my people. They still have my stuff. We all still love this record. It’s just that the last time I spent New Year’s Eve with them, we played nerdy board games, watched Jools Hollands Hootenanny, had a cheese plate and some wine and went to bed by 1AM. And then on New Year’s Day we went on a “lovely nice walk”.

At one of my friends 30th birthdays, and this was well into my living in the states, everyone was really hammered and the playlist was pretty all over the place. A lot of very millennial emo, Blink 182, you know. But suddenly Instant Crush from this album, the collaboration with Julian Casablancas came on. I swear to god, the weirdest thing happened. It had been pretty rowdy, we were all drunk and singing along to whatever was on and getting pretty silly, but when this song came on. Everyone stood in a circle, and sang it really sweetly doing tiny little robot wiggles. It was so pure. It ended, everyone cracked up, and then resumed the chaos. The next day I had one of the worst hangovers I’d had in a fucking WHILE and had to go to a pretty fancy brunch with my brother in law and his wife. I had to excuse myself from the table to barf SEVERAL times. I regret nothing.

I feel really sentimental about this record, it just makes me think of summer, friends, sunshine, being fucked up in a fun way, and goodbyes — but the kind that are okay because it’s with your ride or dies who you know are always gonna be there. It’s twelve years later, I’m listening to Random Access Memories as I write this, and we are all still besties. I do probably need to get my stuff from them though.

In 2023, to celebrate 10 years of Random Access Memories, Daft Punk released the drumless edition of the album. This one didn’t seem to be such a universally adored hit among all of my pals. But I gotta tell you, I loved it just as much. It feels totally different and I was here for it. Check it out, maybe you’ll hate it, but keep an open mind. I admit, it’s likely that I have rose tinted glasses on about it. That’s fine with me.

[tuiyla]

I’m VERY curious about your new midnights gif!! You said you have a lot of thoughts about making it, could you give us a rundown of them?

Oh bless you sweet Anon I'd love to! I was gonna tag rant in the post itself but gifsets often see the tags copied entirely in reblogs so I wanted to save everyone that trouble. I'd love to give a rundown thank you for enabling me lol. Long post ahead but most of it under the cut. Be sure to share any thoughts you have Anon! Or anyone else, talk to me for a potential part two lol.

After seeing the post that I linked to as inspo I know I wanted to do a similar thing for Glee but I'm still just getting into Midnights and wasn't sure about assigning songs to characters. I've made a post or two asking people for their input so I'd like to shout out @sopheadraws for suggesting Sweet Nothing for Brittana on premiere day, @secretlesbianspy for Blaine and Anti-Hero, and for You're On Your Own, Kid @rachelberryy for Rachel and @katyobsesses for Marley. I ended up straight up ignoring a lot of what people have suggested oops haha but I agreed with these pairings. And then it was a matter of choosing 6-7 to actually gif and as I was doing some of them more connections started forming.

So, I start thinking about which Midnights songs to do and immediately I know that Maroon has to be on there because Quinntana doing that is my strongest association. This was fairly straightforward as I had the characters in mind, obviously had a colour set and knew that it would be I Do Quinntana scenes. I briefly thought of other ones but it's always obvious with Quinntana, isn't it?

I liked the imagery of Maroon and lines like "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how" and "I wake with your memory over me // That's a real fucking legacy, legacy (It was maroon)". That latter one made it to the gif though a shortened version because space. I preferred to include the hopeful and less bitter half - well, maybe not hopeful. But the impression that despite the passion and even recklessness of the song it can be something lasting which is what I wish Quinntana was. Taylor songs and Quinntana deserve their own post but I just think the complexities of Maroon fit them well and it has that sort of sexual yet tender quality that's perfect for their two-time (sadly not continued) thing. And as for the gif itself, I'm forever obsessed with shots of them while slow dancing, that contemplation and ease before they throw themselves at each other. But I'm also very glad to have decided at the last minute to include an in-bed shot. I think it adds to the lyric "I wake with your memory over me". Not that they slept that much that night in the first place.

Next was Anti-Hero, which as mentioned I was convinced of for Blaine but long before that I'd already made up my mind that it was a Santana song, too. This a) works well for @secretlesbianspy haha but also b) fits my vision of trying not to make them all solos. That second half worked a little too well because almost all ended up being duets oops but I just think that assigning songs as solos is a little too limiting and duets and group numbers potentially offer more interesting interpretations. And so we have a Blaintana duet that takes place in an interspersed sort of non-diegetic way with both lamenting their lives separately but reaching similar conclusions.

In my mind this would take place at some point in season 4 or 5. I think it mostly fits Blaine in season 4 as he regrets having cheated on Kurt and crumbles under the realization that he can’t be Mister Perfect, maybe leaning into the “oh I’m the bad guy I ruin things” aspect a little too much. Like the dramatic little boy he is. Hence the clip chosen being from Hopelessly Devoted to You. As for Santana, I really like this shot from right before Girl On Fire starts playing because even though that’s ultimately a triumphant moment, it does come after the realization that she has to choose the real world. Over Kentucky, over Lima, over running back to the familiarity of Brittany, she has to choose taking that leap and truly living. And that’s terrifying when she doesn’t believe in herself. That leads us into season 5 which would fit Anti-Hero even more, when her insecurities cause her to go behind Rachel’s back and she doubles down on her bitch persona in the face of Rachel assuming the worst of her. The song fits her better in season 5 when she has that degree of introspection and also guilt about her past behaviour, so I did consider a pre-Be Okay clip where she and Rachel make peace. Ultimately, for aesthetic reasons this worked better but yeah I’m basically thinking New York Santana for this one. Actually you know what here’s a version of this with that alternate clip, as a treat (also different Blaine shot). Not fully coloured and finished so treat it as a discarded draft.

Phew told you this would be long, here comes song number three. As mentioned, You’re On Your Own, Kid read as both a Rachel and Marley song to me so it was an easy decision to use at least Rachel’s clip from their canon duet, New York State of Mind. That gave the whole thing a nice orange colour which worked for the warm to cold colour gradient that was starting to form. Beyond looking good, I chose the Rachel clip as it represents the start of her new life in New York and her stepping into her own. For Marley, a clip from Wrecking Ball fit not only because it had that orange hue but because it was her realizing she couldn’t trust Jake and thus was “on her own.”

The parallels between Rachel and Marley are interesting and less obvious than those between other OGs and their newbie counterparts, but that’s another whole post right there. What makes me think of the two in terms of this song is that vibe of wanting to escape your hometown, feeling insecure there, yearning for a love that will potentially make you stay. Finn and Jake, respectively, neither of whom end up being The One for the girls. And arguably, both Rachel and Marley are better off having had their hearts broken and realizing that they won’t be saved by some popular guy who choose them. “Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss.” It’s a bittersweet realization that they have to rely on themselves but also empowering for both of them when they step out of previous roles and take charge. Rachel makes it in New York and Marley pursues her passion, supported by but not reliant on Jake or anyone else. Everything you lose is a step you take. Romantic heartache built their character.

Next up was Lavender Haze, which ended up less of a character analysis choice and more just what would be fun if they performed it on the show. From the beginning I had Quinn in mind and then Tina was added for some Quinntina fun, and though I debated until the end I ended up including Mercedes because that’d be an awesome trio.

I wasn’t hell bent on including this in the set but at this point I realized these were the first 5 tracks of the album bar one (more on that in a bit) and I just like the idea of the three girls owning this song. Again, this has less profound reasoning and is more vibes based, but I’d like to think that this is their way of establishing their own agency in their respective relationships and in general lives. All three have been stripped of agency one way or another, often relating to relationships, and this is them saying that they just wanna do what they wanna do. All have previously given a damn as to what people say, to varying degrees, but in a sort of #girlboss move they band together and defy that. I was also originally thinking of turning it into a romantic Quinntina AU thing, before I made the choice to include Mercedes. Read it in that way if you’d like. I just like the vibes of this one basically even if I like this gif the least. It could have maybe used more work but to be honest this was one of the ones I wasn’t that invested in.

Now that I’ve realized I had tracks 1-3 and 5 on here, I thought, okay, let’s get Snow On The Beach up on here. Mostly because at this point I knew I wanted The Great War in here so it could be a “the first 5 tracks + 1 extra from 3am” sort of thing. But then Sweet Nothing happened, more on that in its own section.

So, Snow. I went back and forth but upon the 10th or so listen I decided on Samcedes. It was that “falling in love at the same time” message that settled it because I don’t think the same can be said for any other couple. And I like the whole “yeah it’s unlikely but it works and it’s beautiful” vibe plus the chosen lyric really settled it. I look back on Prom Queen as one of my favourite Samcedes moments, their origin story and something that really sells me on this song being the one for them. The chosen lyric reflects Mercedes’ initial insecurity but also how they both felt at some point, yet everything still fell into place and they still worked, for the time that they did. It’s that magical vibe that I associate with their first evening together.

With the first five down I knew I wanted a plus one, that ending up being The Great War for Klaine. I initially thought of Labyrinth but that didn’t feel quite right and looking over the lyrics of The Great War did. Frankly I’m surprised to see sets of Klaine with other songs and not this. I didn’t want to include songs from 3am at first but this fit them and the plus one theme so The Great War it was. Initially in a turquois colour but yellow won out.

More so than any other song on the album, it’s the message of overcoming difficulties and still ending up together that makes it a Klaine one for me. Their struggles and the fact that they overcame them is often stated as a reason why people are drawn to their story and in all its angstiness I think this song describes that. Overall there are a lot of bittersweet songs on this album and ones of heartbreak and lost potential, whereas Klaine are about overcoming, so. And the bg clip is of them getting back together in A Wedding whereas the second one of from the last episode, right before we see them 5 years later as a representation of that overcoming. Once I chose the lyric I also thought of and made an alternate version for the second clip being their wedding kiss and thematically I still like that better but this worked better aesthetically.

So, we have the first five and even the plus one but hold it, I couldn’t just do a Midnights set, potentially my only one without including the association between Sweet Nothing and Brittana. The more I listened to this song the more I liked it for my favourite couple. Did it mess a bit with my original colour scheme, yes, and did I feel a bit weird including Santana three times, maybe. But at the end of the day these are my choices and I’ll choose Santana any day, so. Even though it makes the thematically organized part of my brain mad I had to include this.

This fuchsia colour really makes sense for them imo (even though I also tried it in yellow), the colour I usually associate them with. The wholesome and calm domesticity of the song immediately reminded me of season 6 fluff Brittana. I thought of a season 1 clip as well that I had on stock for, uh, other TS set reasons (coming soon) but I decided on season 6 choices. The hug from 6x06 has such a wholesome vibe to me and is easy to work with, and then choosing their little moment from Home was also easy. As they share this adorable moment they sing “their ain’t nothing that I need” which feels very fitting with Sweet Nothing, and of course the feeling that they’re each other’s home. All of this felt so right to me that despite it throwing off the little theme I planned for the set I couldn’t not include it. Having this Brittana association exist was more important than some arbitrary theme to the set that still sort of exists anyway. Very happy with this song and scenes choice.

Aaaand that is mostly it, though I also have thoughts on Midnight Rain which I almost included as a Finchel song. I know, I know, it’s already full of duets but I think that one really fits them and it’s track six which would continue the theme. I can also see a dark blue colour for it which would mean turning Anti-Hero lighter so Midnight Rain could fit between that and Lavender Haze. In the end though, I decided 7 gifs were enough and also tbh I just don’t think I acre enough about Finchel to give them a gif and a song off Midnights. I have even more thoughts on colours and alternate clips but this is long as is, so, all for now. But as you can probably tell I’d gladly go on some more haha. Please do send thoughts if you made it all the way through!

[desertsquiet]

Album of the month - January 2023: Sunshine Boy (Sessions & Demos) - Townes Van Zandt

The first month of 2023 has felt, at times, like the culmination of one of the worst prolonged emotional and psychological states I’ve ever experienced, one that started around the middle of November. I don’t think I’m completely out of it as of right now - actually, not at all - but I can only hope those negative peaks are starting to subside or at least become less in number. At the end of December/beginning of January, I did not feel like I had anything to look forward to for the new year. Nor anything to be proud of for 2022. Being on social media and seeing people (rightly) being proud of their accomplishments or expressing whatever they were looking forward to only angered me and sent me into an awful negative spiral, because I couldn’t have been in a more vastly different place at that moment. The real optimism for the many changes that were about to come into my life I had experienced just a couple of months prior completely gone. Vanished. Like it never existed. For the first ten days of January I was still on my winter break and I kept on being as moody and miserable as ever, having just had the final proof that no matter the setting, my mental state did not change or improve in the slightest. That I was the problem, not the place or the people around me. Which made me feel even worse. About the only part of my life that didn’t feel like it was crumbling down this month was my relationship/connection to music. It didn’t offer a magical solution to my problems, but it was a very strong presence and very often the only refuge from the literal hell my brain has become. In many ways it felt like it came to my rescue, by sending me new tracks and albums I could latch on to and form new, much needed connections with. There were so many and I am grateful to each and every one of them, but at the same time I knew what album I would be writing about in this post exactly 10 minutes into it.

A collection of studio sessions/alternative takes (Disc 1) and demos (Disc 2) from 1971-1972, “Sunshine Boy” allows you the incredible privilege of peaking into an atmosphere that is not quite a live nor a studio dimension, but something in between the two. A sweet middle spot that I shouldn’t be surprised to find out fits him so well, after all. But boy if it does. I don’t even know how to describe it properly, not sure if I have the words. I am however pretty sure that it’s already one of my absolute favorite, and absolutely one of the most precious Townes recordings I can think of. Disc 1 of this is just such a pleasure to hear. He sounds so good. He sounds so confident, relaxed, in the moment, enjoying every second of it. He sounds happy. He has a talented group of musicians around him and what comes through the most, more than almost anywhere else, is his love of performing with other people and constantly feeding off each other’s energy and creativity. There’s also an edge to many of these performances that he doesn’t show very often. While still mostly acoustic, the set is a lot more uptempo than usual, with the drummer especially asserting his presence in a way that rarely happens in his music but that, here, seems to work perfectly, aggressive bluesy rhytmn guitar playing at all times and other instruments that often play a percussive role. And the two excursions into downright electric territory are absolutely to die for: such a pity that an original as cool as Sunshine Boy did not make it on any of his studio albums from that period, but it was definitely NOT for lack of quality and oh my gosh, I’m sorry but this is the best version of Who Do You Love he ever did. I’m obsessed with it. He’s also just playing around with his own songs a lot, lyrically and melodically. Whether it’s because they’re still not “finished” and he’s still experimenting to see what works better or just because he’s in such a relaxed mental place that improvising comes very naturally, the result is so cool to hear. As for Disc 2…well. I always say that some of his songs are so gentle and quiet, and the subject matter is so personal, that they almost feel *too* private and intimate. Like sometimes you even forget that you’re listening with headphones and not in the same room with him as he sings directly to you. One of those is Greensboro Woman, without a doubt. Now imagine what levels of intimacy the demo version of that song can reach. I’m not even gonna try to find the words to describe that. So I’ll just say that the entire second half of this album is something very dangerous for me and that’s naturally why I’ve been listening to it non stop for a month. I do just also want to point out how cute his cover of ‘Old Paint’ is and how great the other unreleased original ‘Diamond Heel Blues’ is. I love his blues songs and his blues guitar playing and I’m always thrilled to have more of it. I think I’ve talked enough so that’s it. I guess I enjoyed this one. Just a little bit.

[eurovision-del]

I solved the Super Saturday conundrum of what to watch this year by going out to a rugby match instead, and stayed out late celebrating the result! However, I’m back at home now, and I’ve had a chance to get caught up on all the winners of the night so far!

First up was Estonia, where won Alika with Bridges. I’m not too into this song honestly, but I must admit that Alika is a fantastic vocalist, and I can see this ballad connecting with people, even if it doesn’t with me. I think it’s a decent pick for Estonia. I am wondering what might have been seeing that two of my faves, Monsters and Venom, were in the superfinal with her, and am wondering if they cancelled each other out with both being rock songs, albeit in very different styles. I’m excited to check out their live performances, and both songs are already added to my personal playlist, but I wish Alika the best in May.

DGMP was a selection that I didn’t really care for this year. I’m happy enough to see Reiley win it, the song may not be the most exciting, but it’s sweet and easy to enjoy. Checking out his winners performance, I thought it was decent, he had good stage presence, but his vocal was swamped by the pre-recorded vocoder vocals on the chorus, and I don’t know how that will go down at Eurovision. I could be wrong though, he sounded alright in the verses and Eurovision is fine with pre-recorded backing vocals these days so maybe it won’t be an issue.

Croatia shocked me by picking Let 3 with Mama ŠČ. I ranked the song pretty high based on studio cuts because I enjoyed the chaos of the music, but watching their performance I have no idea what to make of it. It feels like satire, but I don’t have enough understanding to know of what. I’m going to have to do a deep dive into the lyrics, context, and intention of this one when I get to my full ranking in May. Apparently Harmonija Disonance came second – I preferred their song and they were well liked within the Eurovision fandom so I wonder if this was a missed opportunity for Croatia. Mama ŠČ feels like a very risky entry, but hey, the semis this year are televote only so who knows what will happen.

The next couple of results, from Latvia and Romania, I was very happy with! Sudden Lights were one of my favourites so I was so happy seeing that they won Supernova! They’re such a great band and  Aijā is a very interesting song, so I’m so excited to see them at Eurovision! Then, in Romania, D.G.T (Off and On) was my favourite song from a selection I wasn’t too fussed about, so I’m pleasantly surprised to see that it won! I thought he sung well live, his rough vocal works so well with the song, but I hope the staging and performance gets completely reworked for Eurovision, I wasn’t that keen on it, even though I guess it does fit the song…

Finally, Malta also picked my favourite song tonight with The Busker and Dance (Our Own Party)! This is such a great surprise, I was sure Malta would go for Brooke, but I’m so glad they went with this instead! It’s such a catchy song, and the staging and performance at MESC was engaging, I’d be happy if they brought this exact show to the stage in Liverpool! I’m actually so sad I won’t get to vote in the first semi final, with both Latvia and Malta there. We’ve still got plenty more songs to be released, but I want so badly to see both make the Eurovision final, even more since both countries have struggled the past few years.

With so many results going my way tonight I almost wish I’d seen some of the shows live! Maybe there’s been a couple of disappointing results here and there, but I think overall this year is shaping up nicely, we’ve got a good range of songs, with several I really like. Now just to wait for Sanremo to finish to get an idea of what Italy might send!  

[mieux-de-se-taire]

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge - Part 2

This is part 2 of my song-by-song review of Revenge. I’ve already posted part 1 of Revenge and one for Bullets, and I’m planning on posting reviews for their other albums as well.

The Jetset Life - first of all, I love the transition between The Ghost of You and Jetset Life, it’s so satisfying with the gradual introduction of the gallop-like drums for Jetset Life, vocally it’s a very fun song with how Gee says “the hotel Bella Muerte” at 1:14 and how he sings all of 2:09-2:38 with the autotune very deliberately obvious, I really the outro as well with the scratchy guitar effect from 3:28 to the end, also I looked up what jetset means and google defines it as “wealthy and fashionable people who travel widely and frequently for pleasure”, which makes the song make much more sense

Interlude - not too much to say, a nice reprieve from the intensity and anger of some of the other songs, a nice vocal performance by Gee even though I had no idea what he was saying until I looked at the lyrics, you can really hear the Catholicism, short, simple, sweet

Venom - also one of my favorites (it’s a really good album), an absolute banger from the first moment, brilliant intro, I really like how he punctuates certain words in the verses like “paid me” at 0:38, “made me” at 0:41, “save me” at 1:25, and “gave me” at 1:27, I love the guitars in this song, especially Ray’s solo  at 2:12-2:38, my favorite part is probably the chorus, it’s catchy and sharp and I love the lines “You’re running after something / that you’ll never kill / If this is what you want / then fire at will”, Venom has some of my favorite lyrics from Revenge and it’s great to sing along to

Hang ‘Em High - I was dubious when I first listened this song because of the whistling in the beginning, but I ended up really liking it, it’s another song with intense somewhat cacophonous sections with lots of yelling like 0:07-0:14 and 2:33-2:38 which I think are very fun, my favorite part is 0:56-1:30 with the fun rhythm in the first part and how one of the guitars follows the vocals so closely in the second part, I also really like how Gee says “sights” at 0:36 and “God” at 1:02

Deathwish - it took me a long time to warm up to this one, but the killer intro finally got to me, everything about the guitars in this song is amazing, I love the lyric “from the razor to the rosary” at 1:45, my favorite part is 1:54-2:01 when Gee says “I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take” because of how each syllable is punctuated, overall I really like his vocals in this song. Also, interestingly enough, Gerard said, “‘That’s when I wrote “Skylines and Turnstiles” and some of the earlier material. I actually wrote “Fashion Statement” too at that time, though we didn’t use it until Revenge. I wrote those songs sitting in my pyjamas or underwear with a tiny amp’” (The True Lives of My Chemical Romance, 29-30).

Cemetery Drive - another slightly softer and more vulnerable song, I love the imagery it evokes, this song really brings forth and connects with the concept most to me, it really has the tragic, doomed romance vibe down, there’s something haunting about the lyrics “Did you get what you deserve? / Is this what you always want me for?”, especially in the context of the narrative, my favorite part is the way Gee sings “way down” starting at 2:36, his voice is so soft but there’s still a very raw and pained quality to it, overall a macabre and beautiful song 

What I Do for a Living - fuck, what an album closer, maybe even my second favorite song from the record, less of the traditional song structure that became more common on Revenge and more Bullets-esque structure, reminds me somewhat of Demolition Lovers, some more great lyrics (“Just get in line and I’ll grieve you”, Jesus Christ), I love how the song goes from normal, angry, concept-related (also pretty horny) song (0:00-1:43) to absolutely feral wailing (1:44-1:56), then the stripped down quiet section staring at 2:10 that just builds deliciously back to screaming and wailing at 2:59, and then that final yell of “I can’t clean the blood off the sheets in my bed” at 3:26 and back to the quiet section from before, god, the visceral pain and rawness when he screams “I tried”, fuck, and the repetition of “Never again / and never again / They gave us two shots to the back of the head / And we’re all dead now”, just the regret and guilt and horror of devoting yourself entirely to something and doing everything you can for it, including terrible things because you’re so convinced it’s right and then realizing it was all for nothing and none of it was worth it, but you can’t get back the person you were before, fuck, what a way to end the story and the album, imagine hearing this live

I’m not including extra songs or b-sides in the album reviews, but I will make one (or multiple) later about all the extra material, including Desert Song (which is one of my favorites).

Also, I forgot in my last post, but happy belated 18th birthday to Revenge!

[7fortune-kitty7]

Sick Sick Sick ✰ Translyrics

This is one of the first songs I did, though I did edited the lyrics for this post cause I believe I am better than my previous self

Feel free to use and edit (just credit me if you do)

✰ ____________________________ ✰

I'm sick sick sick (ehh) 

Before humanity can live in harmony 

We're already connected by a contagious malady.

 Every single moment somebody coughs 

 The sing song stars are sparkling above.

-

Oh, I lack identification,

not even indemnification

Please doctor, show some sympathy

Zero sensitivity, this is all unsatisfactory

This all questions my curiosity

-

Astrocyte increase?

I remember laughing while eating sweets

A Broken bone?

I love to skip to school, so I don't really know

Eyelid Seizure?

We both stared at a rainbow, after a rain shower

A Nervous breakdown?

Falling in love was such a let down

Constantly forgetting?

I remember having these faint feelings

Sleeping difficulty?

Yesterday I think I was dreaming about dreaming

-

Scatter across the world is the sick sick sick

Nothing but brown sugar sweetness itch itch itch

Oh if only, oh if only

I could've live life with more memories

-

Every single one of you is sick sick sick

But apparently I'm the one who's sick sick sick

My heart, it beats, could I be lovesick?

No way, I'm just sick

-

Even after the defamation

I fear the results of the diagnosis

Oh I feel so sleepy, this is all so obligatory

Those symptoms are common apparently

-

A heart disease?

I remember my heart skipping a beat

Tonsil inflammation?

my vocals are wrecked from raw emotion

A jaw joint disorder?

We both talked together, til twilight turned darker

Inflamed ear?

I thought I heard someone calling my name

A mental disorder?

I'm up and I think in order

One of the three major diseases?

The things that I covered from reality

-

Overheaded summersaults turned sick sick sick

With injuries that I everyday itch itch itch

Ah how nice it'd be, how nice it'd be

If being lonely was some kind of remedy

-

Nothing slips though haven's snare sick sick sick

learning too much gets me sick sick sick

Shiny shiny Is this some kind of godsend?

Nah I need some medicine

-

Hello 

Tell me how are you doing?

Wish I can feel your empathy

I choked on my feelings so gory

And yesterday I've been teary

I worry for the future me

How are you doing lately?

I've just been feeling dozy and sleepy

-

Without misinterpretation

I scribble my medical information

To stop my shiver situation

-

Scatter across the world is the sick sick sick

Nothing but brown sugar sweetness itch itch itch

Oh if only, oh if only

I could've live life with more memories

-

Tangle within dreams (was the) Sick sick sick

The injures from lapse leaked ick ick ick

I wonder, I wonder

If we gotta live on, accepting it forever

-

Every single one of you is sick sick sick

But apparently I'm the one who's sick sick sick

My heart, it beats, could I be lovesick?

I'm dizzy, so dizzy

No way, I'm just really sick

No way, I'm just really sick

You can think I'm lovesick, but I'm sick

-

Everyone is going to be sick now,

Everyone is going to be sick now,

Everyone is going to be sick now,

Everyone is going to be sick now.

✰ ____________________________ ✰

Original Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNKgqg3FISw

[carduelism]

Theo Decker as “In case I make it” lyrics and quotes because mental illness!

Becoming the Lastnames - (Theo, totally no Larry, Decker)

I'm not sure yet myself, but I learned from a good father

Yeah, I mean, sure, they messed me up, but I think that's just the gig

And maybe it's just some hormones that kick in in your late twenties

But I have laid a lot of women, and now I'd like to just lay down

And marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love

And love can last a pretty good long while, yeah, I've seen it around

…

Just like my parents in due time

Imagine me, just like my parents, yeah, right

…

'Cause I've made more mistakes than simple empty moments

Each one is out of character, but as you know I tend to be

Falling up - (sorry, it just mentioned the moon)

It’s just the high-noon moon saying “Shoot for the stars

Be the next big constellation, connect the dots between your parts”

That’s Enough, Let’s Get You Home. - (god this man’s love life is horrendous)

My dream girl [Pippa], those eyes, that nose

My private inside joke, sign the cast on my funny bone

Floral sheets on long-given-up ghosts

Haunt my bedroom at night and say “Let’s get you home”

…

They say “Grow up, be a man, ‘cause until then you’re nothing but a short-haired girl”

But come and Braille-palm-read and hold my hand, see my reason and “Goodbye, cruel world”

And oh my god, what’s wrong with me?

And the wife of Walter Keane, whose name right now’s escaping me

…

Oh, sweet Mary! [Kitsey Barbour]

Dream girl, come but keep your hands off me

Go on back to bed, my love, I mean, that’s where dreams are supposed to be

Um, it’s Kind of a Lot - (about Boris)

Oh, I'm afraid that you'll change your mind

I'm afraid there's somebody better

I'm afraid of four-letter words, like "love", "for", and "ever"

(Or whatever)

And I'm afraid you'll notice all my flaws

I'm afraid you already have, obviously

…

So here's one last lyric to sum up these thoughts I struggled to come up with

To make me sound deep and smart, and then I promise I'll shut up

Wait, let me think, hold on, I got this

Anything but "I'm in love with you"

Half-Decade Hangover - (his drug situation)

Wonder how I didn’t die

This is not my life, I’m no survivor, I only happened to survive

Wonder how I sleep at night

Well I count pink elephants, blessings, and skeletons

Down the days I have left, with one eye open

…

Then stumbling off to lose myself in a brown paper bag 'cause me and

Sweet Evan Williams got a date down on Avenue A

Staving shakes, scraping change till daybreak

Turns out anyone can eat out the trash

…

I was drunk when I made my bed

Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it

What have I done? Don't know what I've said

It’s a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail, or dead

It’s a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ, my aching head

…

Like it’s a good thing you said, “You’ve got your whole life ahead”

Oh great, another half a century to live to regret

I’d rather be anybody else instead

…

Sober, but so much still hangs over

Please believe me when I say that I’ve poured my whole past down the drain

Say that a second chance is a chance I can take

But I can’t make amends for things I can't remember

I can only say I'm sorry and occasionally pray

Guess you’ll just have to take my word that I’ve changed

After one thousand eight hundred twenty five days

You Like This (Okay, Computer!) - (about himself to himself)

Ten Red Flags that a Neurotypical Narcissist is Trauma Dump Gaslighting You into Sex-Negative Self-Abuse Emotional Labor

The Main Character - (him whilst writing lmao)

I’m that first person they talk about in all the books

I’m that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look

Control the narrative reliably, baby, it’s all about me

And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who don’t do it by it

…

So god forbid I’m seen just as an average human being

I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene

I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy

Don’t come at me

I’m the main character and you have to like me

Against The Kitchen Floor - (about his sexual relationship with Boris)

I don't owe you my heart, and I don't owe you my body

But you should know that I'm sorry for being careless with you

Lord knows I owed you more than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody

But I can't pin down what normal people want from foreign objects

Bottom shelf erotic products like me

…

And I swear I'm really trying

I'm just as exposed if I take off my clothes

When we make the closest thing to love that I'm capable of

And I don't know why you would care, but I'm really trying

Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best

I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet

…

I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor

Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

Don't say "I'm sorry, but this can't go on," I know you've got scars of your own

But hide my knives before you go, I'll either live or die alone

Anyway that is it but I have another treat. Boris as Will Wood’s monologue in this video

I’m [Boris Pavlikovsky]. I’m a busy something, I’m a tired something, I’m an overmedicated something. I haven’t felt an emotion in several days. Fantastic. You all should try it, anybody, everybody. Y’know my mother used to always say that “anybody could benefit from therapy,”and I would agree with that, anybody could benefit from drugs. There’s, even if you’re not mentally ill, you could always just take some extra ones ‘cause they’re gonna make you better in one way or another. Yeah, not necessarily permanently. I can’t, in good conscience, quite recommend taking as many drugs as you can to improve your uhhhh your well-being, your state of mind, but I can in bad conscience do it. So what the fuck, you guys should do more drugs. Now one thing that I used to fucking do a lot of is drugs. I don’t do too many of them anymore ‘cause they already done me. You name it, I did it. I did shit that didn’t even have names, just long chemical codes and acronyms that you looked at long enough you could find your fucking social security number in. The kind of shit that didn’t even have street names yet, yeah that’s those see, that make you see the future. It’s good shit man, I highly recommend it, no I don’t I can’t, I’m responsible here, I’m talking to people here with real consequences of the things I say. But what was I saying, where was I, oh yeah back in the day I used to do it all man. Fuck man, I used to do it all. I was a controlled substance. My blood was illegal. They started testing peoples’ piss for my piss. I could spit in your eye and you’d start seeing shit. But not anymore, which means I’m healthy, which means I’m balanced, or maybe it just fucking means that, god fucking dammit, I’m just on the right kind of drugs now. Maybe, maybe that at this point what it is, is that the addiction that ran my fucking life before has given way to a more medically acceptable addiction. Maybe the lamotrigine isn’t fucking working. Maybe the fucking mood stabilisers aren’t quite fuckin working. Sorry ‘bout that, haha. Overheating a little bit here. I have too many scalps.