#no more tonight tho i have to go to bed early i have somewhere to be in the morning :V

[onmykneesformatt]

vanilla - c.s.

requested: yes!!

synopsis: after a lengthy relationship, chris decides to try and surprise you on your 7 month anniversary. it doesn’t go how he planned, and he feels bad.

warnings: SMUT OH MY FUCK. just very aggressive (no major abuse or violence), degrading, choking, hair-pulling, overstimulation, use of safe word, aftercare, angst (happy ending tho!!), i don’t think anything else but lmk!!

a/n: i think it’s about time i write smth about chris and feed y’all. so, eat up!! (also i tried to put a picture and it literally wouldn’t let me😭)

you and chris never really thought about kinks or anything like that. you had talked about it, but the furthest you two ever went was just filming it once or twice. even then, it was still very vanilla. it was soft, enjoyable, and not very rough.

chris wanted to change that.

“so, wait. are we going somewhere?”

“we can, but that’s not the surprise.”

chris kind of smirked, knowing that his surprise was not something you expected.

“can you just tell me? it almost dark out and we’be barely done anything all day except for you making me a nice breakfast. which, i did appreciate by the way.”

“you’re welcome, and no. i’m not telling you.”

he tapped his fingertips together and chuckled lightly. he liked surprising you. he’d done it multiple times before. a bouquet on your door step, a new pair of expensive heels, even flying home early from boston and not telling you. it was his thing.

and tonight was a surprise.

-

at 9:30 pm, you started to get ready for bed. you almost did it in protest for how you and chris barely did anything today.

“oooh, what’s this? toner? replace the t with a b.”

he giggled. how dare he? after not giving you a major day like he does every other anniversary?

you kept a straight face, not breaking eye contact with your face in the mirror as you kept applying serums and creams.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, chris.”

he knew that whenver you ended a sentence with his name, you were mad.

“look, how about i meet you in the bedroom in five minutes, and make it up to you?”

you let a little smile show, remembering that your surprise to him was a peachy-orange lingerie set that hugged you in all the right places and showed all the right skin.

“fine.”

-

it started slow and sweet, like always.

but it slowly turned into more.

he went from having you on your back with him lightly laying on you to flipping you onto all fours and ripping the new lingerie set off— literally.

“chris-“

“shut up and take it. i know you can, slut.”

it felt good, the way he was pounding into you.

what didn’t feel good was him calling you the one word you didn’t like. after he started pulling your hair, it all felt real.

were you really just some toy he used? was this his breaking point where he realized he didn’t actually like or respect you like he pretended?

“chris, i don’t-“

he pushed your face into the pillow, tightening his grip on your hair.

“i said shut the fuck up. god, you really are just some slut who thinks she can do anything she wants.”

tears started welling in your eyes. they only strengthened when he started swatting your ass and digging his free hand into your back.

it hurt. like, actually hurt. but he wouldn’t listen.

he was never like this. chris? be aggressive? especially in such a vulnerable moment? never. until now.

after almost suffocating with your face in the pillow for what felt like hours, you tried to shift your face over just enough to be able to breathe. it was hard, with his grip on your hair pushing your head down into it.

eventually, you were able to properly breathe. you started breathing heavier and heavier. not from pleasure, but from overstimulation. from pain.

“i- i can’t! chris!”

he could barely hear you over his grunts and the sounds of skin slapping loudly.

“cant.. can’t what? slut can’t use her words now?”

you tried, but he was causing you so much pain that the tears were taking over. so much so, that you just broke.

what he thought were breaths and tears of pleasure started to settle in, and he finally realized. your pillow and face wet with a taste of salt, and your heart pounding so bad you started shaking.

he slowed down, moving your messy, wet hair out of your face.

“vanilla! vanilla!”

your safe word. you never needed it before, but you guys thought of it after having sex the first or second time. he always wanted you to know you were in control of what was happening too. in a sort of inside joke/mockery, he made it “vanilla”.

“hey- hey.”

he took a second to gather himself and pull out, sitting next to you on the bed. your body fell limp on the sheets.

“what’s wrong-“

“no!”

he tried to rub your shoulder, but your yelling frightened him. it should’ve. the way he caused you the pain he did was horrible.

“hey-“

“just- stop! what-“

your crying intensified, leaving him with a concerned look.

“what made you think that was okay?!”

you tried to stand, stabling yourself with a hand on the bed and the other holding a throw blanket to cover your body.

“what do you mean-“

“what do i mean? chris- you just.. started going crazy! it felt good at first, but you pulled my hair, you dug your nails into my back! you- you called me a slut!”

“i thought-“

“no you didn’t! you didn’t think at all!”

it finally hit him.

that word.

the one word he promised to never use.

“baby- i didn’t mean any of it!”

“then why’d you do it!”

tears turning into anger at his stupidity slowly dried up.

“i thought it would be a nice surprise for our anniversary! but, i’m sorry. i forgot about that word.”

that word was used against you everyday in highschool, ever since you gave some kid a handjob at the park. anytime you wore something even slightly revealing. it opened a floodgate for name-calling.

the tears started up again once silence filled the bedroom.

again, chris was never like this. you always thought he would provide the comfort you so desperately needed in your life. however, it seemed like he thought otherwise.

chris stood up, walked around the bed, and engulfed you in his arms. after realizing that he truly didn’t mean it (doesn’t make it okay, but it’s good he realized he was in the wrong), you hugged him back.

“how about we clean up. can i help you with that?”

you sniffled while stepping back from him. you dropped the blanket and wiped your eyes.

“yeah.”

you spoke softly, still trying to catch light breaths.

he grabbed your hand, leading you the bathroom.

he started the shower, grabbing your coconut body wash out of the bathroom closet along with a soft, white towel.

after getting you into the perfectly-warm shower, he started to clean you up. he didn’t let you move a muscle. he made sure you were fully clean and taken care of before even thinking about himself. he grazed your body with the loofah, making sure every inch was perfectly covered.

“i really am sorry, baby. i didn’t mean to take it that far. i think i just got too excited. i’ll never do it again, i can promise you that.”

“a warning would’ve been nice. i get why you did it. throw in a little variety, or whatever. but that word really set me off.”

“i know, i know.”

he kissed the back of your damp head, making sure you knew he meant his sorrow.

“i forgot. but, no excuse. how about now i dry you off and get you into some comfy clothes, hm?”

his tone was low but sweet. your heart stopped racing, your breath caught up, and your mind was at ease.

“okay.”

after he dried you off, still not letting you do it yourself, he grabbed your hand to lead back into the bedroom. while you were sat patiently on the edge of the bed, he rummaged through drawers and shelves looking for your favorite sleep shirt and a pair of under wear with comfortable shorts.

“this good?”

“yes. thank you.”

“stand up, please.”

you dropped your towel, letting him glide the extra large graphic tee over your head. you lifted each leg as he slid the underwear up, then doing the same with the loose shorts.

“get comfy in bed, i got some treats for you earlier.”

“really? thank you, chris.”

“anything for my girl. she deserves nothing but the best, so i try all for her.”

he kissed your forehead before you slid into the bed, pulling the thick comforter over your body and turning on your favorite show.

-

you fell asleep in eachothers arms, but not until he gave you a lengthy apology.

you know he didn’t mean it, but he needed you to remember he wouldn’t do it again.

his heartbeat under your head lulled you into a deep slumber. a soft, orange light coming from the lamp in the corner of the bedroom mixed with the tv still playing your favorite show made just enough light for you to not have any other worries that night. an open bag of the tastiest chocolate on the nightstand next to two open soda cans had filled your stomach and your heart. the soft laugh tracks in the background and fan lightly blowing on you gave you the comfort you needed.

the biggest comfort was chris’ concern.

he loves you.

you love him.

that’s all you need.

-

AHHHH ITS DONEEEEEEE!!!!! i pray that this is as good as y’all are expecting 😭😭 but seriously though, i thank y’all for the support. i’m at 300 followers already (WHAT THE FUCK) and i couldn’t have done it without you guys. love y’all!! mwah!!💋❣️🌺

taglist: @sleepysturniolo @suyqa @jessie-essie @sturnsobsessed

sorry if i missed anyone that wanted to be tagged!!

[just-a-sleepy-idiot]

Castiel!Imagine: Having to share a bed

He's just so cute I can't even you guys!!

Content/Warnings: Fluff, Winchester Reader, Gender neutral Reader

Ever since he has fallen it became harder for him to travel without getting caught by another angel. The last time he teleported somewhere there were three of his brothers waiting to take him away. So for now he was bound to go around the earth like humans do, by car. It was terribly slow and he had voiced that before, but that had only earned him a scolding from Dean who warned him not to critique his car again.

So now he had to share the backseat with the youngest Winchester. But you seemingly noticed that he was dissatisfied and bored with the situation, so you attempted to introduce him to some human games to pass the time.

You first tried to do that game were you call out when you saw a car of a certain color, but quickly disbanded that attempt as he was aware of every car on the road heading their way and therefore had an unfair advantage.

At some point Dean was tired listening to you so he blasted some music in the car, making the two in the front seat practically unable to hear what you were saying. It was so loud though that you also had problems understanding anything that was being said.

So when you spoke you started to lean in and talk to him closer to his ear. He blinked in surprise when you did that because he could hear you perfectly well, but he didn't bother to tell you that. It wasn't like he minded you coming closer to him.

At some point you ended up just talking, and he noticed that you sat closer to him on the backseat so you didn't have to lean towards him as much. Your thighs were lightly touching, and he noticed the heat that radiated from your body. He could feel things like these more prominently than a human would.

Your eyes gleamed in the dim lights of the Impala when you turned to look at him and smiled. He quietly observed you and the way the lights would flicker over your face. It was pretty.

"Castiel, do angels dream?"

He shook his head. "No. We don't require sleep so we don't dream. But I suppose.. we could, when we are taking up a body."

You hummed, "Then maybe you should try it tonight? Aren't you interested in what dreams you would have?"

He rose his brows and nodded hesitantly. "It would certainly do no harm to try.."

As night completely took over Dean decided that you were heading to the next motel. As you unloaded the car of your bags your brothers were heading to the Reception to book two rooms since you told them that Castiel would attempt to sleep as well now.

Usually one of you just slept on the couch but since Castiel would be sleeping as well tonight they got you two a room as well.

When Sam handed you the keys you were blushing a little. When you made the suggestion you didn't consider.. that he would be sleeping in the same room as you..

You cleared your throat and awkwardly smiled at him as you two went to your room. When you opened the door tho you were met with an even bigger surprise- There was only one bed.

You cursed under your breath, did they try to tease you? Or was that an attempt to set you up with each other?

"Is something the problem?" Castiel asked and slightly tilted his head to the side as he observed you with a seemingly increased tension to you.

"Ah! No, not at all I'm just.. surprised that there's only one bed."

You wondered if you could just ask for another room at the reception, but then again it wasn't like you desperately wanted to stay away from Castiel.. on the contrary. The thought of sharing a bed with him.. it made your heart beat fast enough that one might mistake it for the early signs of an heart attack.

The only thing holding you back was just the massive, and I mean absolutely massive embarrassment of going for that. Should you just do it? It wasn't like something would happen between you..

Castiel nodded and wandered over to the bed, plopping down and looking for a place to put his hands. "So I just close my eyes yes?"

You couldn't help but laugh and shook your head, "Cas what are you doing? Are you just gonna leave on your shoes and everything? You're not even covering yourself with the blanket."

It was amusing how he was so.. stuck up and yet so oblivious. It was kinda cute.

He sat up and frowned in confusion. "How many layers am I supposed to put away?"

That made you blush again, and a breath got stuck in your throat. You never thought that Castiel would ask you how far to undress himself.

"U-Um that is up to you. You need to be comfortable."

"But I want to recreate what a human would do so I have the ideal chances of dreaming."

You took a deep breath and put off your shoes, desperately rummaging through your back for your Pyjamas so you didn't have to look at him while you were saying this.

"I mean, some men wear pants and no shirt, some do the opposite and some sleep in their underwear." You explained and got out your own pajamas before looking at him again. He seemed to be thinking deeply about it, like you just gave him a complicated math equation.

"Decide what you're gonna go for while I'm in the bathroom." You offered, and left to brush your teeth and change into your pajamas. While you were brushing your teeth you couldn't help but imagine.. what would he be wearing when you came out? What would he look like if.. he choose the latter?

The strength it took to go through that door again was greater than the bravery you would have needed to face Forty Vampires.

When you came in again Castiel was wearing his pants and a buttoned down shirt. He rolled his sleeves up and put his tie on the nightstand. When he caught you standing in the door he turned around to look at you.

For a moment he just observed you. "It is interesting to see you in this attire." He said, "How do I look?"

You smiled and swallowed a SCREAM because fuck how could he be this.. you know?! "You look great."

You climbed into the opposite site of the bed and put the cover over yourself, smiling encouragingly at Castiel who stood by and hasn't moved yet. "All you gotta do is close your eyes, make yourself comfortable in any way you can, and then just wait for sleep to take over. Don't try to think, if you think too much you won't be able to sleep."

He nodded and climbed into the bed as well, laying down on his back and staring up at the ceiling. You chuckled and laid down as well, facing him. He turned his head to look at you, "What's so funny?"

You bit your lip, "You look so stiff it's almost cute."

Wait, did you say cute? Damn- why couldn't you just shut your mouth? But Castiel swallowed when he heard that. That was absolutely the least he has expected. He was an Angel of the Lord. He was a powerful entity, older than time itself so the last thing he expected to be called was.. cute.

You turned off the light and the sheets rustled as you made yourself comfortable. "Sleep well Castiel. Tell me what you dreamt.."

"Sleep well Y/n.." He answered and closed his eyes...

Some hours passed, he heard you turn around a few times but your breathing was steady and indicated that you were asleep. He couldn't quite do the same.. it was harder than expected. He was probably focusing so much on sleeping that he couldn't.

You said that he should make himself comfortable in any way necessary.. he gazed at you through the dark and scooped closer to you, so close that your back was touching his chest. He breathed in and put his arm around you. This was really more comfortable. It was even nicer than in the car when your thighs touched.

He nestled his head into the pillow and closed his eyes, only to open them again soon when he felt you moving back against him. It had something affectionate to it, the way you further pushed yourself into his arms. Did that mean that you liked it?

Castiel sighed deeply and felt himself relax. Was it just this human body that craved this warmth? This close proximity to others? It would be an easier explanation for what he was feeling but he knew that it wasn't true. Because he didn't need anything else a human might need, the best example right there being sleep.

Somehow, the angel eventually drifted off to sleep as well and kept on holding you closely.

You didn't remember when you last slept that well. You yawned and cuddled closer to what you imagined to be bedding or something.. when you opened your eyes though you could see the reason why you has such a great night.

Because once you opened your eyes you looked right into a sleeping angels face. His breath gently fanned over your face and you couldn't help but smile despite the growing embarrassment that crawled up your cheeks. He.. cuddled you? You wondered if he did that on purpose or subconsciously. Either way.. it meant something to you that wether asleep or not he chose to come closer to you.

You bit your lip, feeling tempted to gently touch his face. You stopped, knowing that he would awake quickly since he didn't need sleep to begin with.

He now had his experience with sleeping, did that mean that he checked that off and wouldn't do it again? The thought made you a bit sad, so instead of waking him you decided to close your eyes again and enjoy this as long as it lasts..

what you weren't aware of was that Castiel was awake for a while already, but chose to relax a little bit longer. He had absolutely noticed you wakening up, and was about to open his eyes again.. when you surprisingly just cuddled further into his arms and closed your eyes again.

He was confused and gazed at you for a moment. Castiel smiled a little, even if It was just brief, and settled to rest his head on top of yours. He wondered if you would share your bed with him more often?

YO COMMENT OK 👌 Everyone who comments gets a hug

[helpme695]

I love the way you write Samarie! Could you maybe write Samarie x reader on a date?

• ────── ✾ ────── •

It's 5:45pm, you arrived a little too early. You knocked on her front door, waiting for her to open up. It's a "simple date", you said. You wanted to do something nice together. But seems the idea to go out in public with bunch of people picked on her nervous. You told her not to worry as long you with her.

Couple of minutes passed but still nobody answered you, did she went for your house after you left? Maybe she didn't tell you she will be out somewhere. Or Maybe just deep in her slumber. You tried again. And knocked a bit louder.

Another bothering minutes, you heard the door open, you peeked to see who's behind it, and it was your very own darling in complete mess.

Her make up is wrong, her hair is tangled, her dress is nothing to speak of. You can tell she was in hurry and trying to do multiple stuff in same time. She looked at you with quite sadness, like a kicked puppy.

You stuffed a small laugh and approach her for a hug

"Oh, love, you got me paranoid for bit out here, come on, let's get inside and fix you up." And she hugged you back with no hesitation, maybe too tight.

You get inside and closed the door. You asked about her questionable choice for the look tonight because she it's nothing like this.

"Well.... I thought that people might look at us and think your dating a freak, I tried to dress like other beautiful girls, and...."

She drove off and pulled her dress slightly, looking at anything but you're face.

"I'm...sorry. I messed up, right? Let's do the dating in other day. I will be ready and won't take long time, I promise."

Your heart broke over her non-existent concerns and shaked you head in disapprove.

"Nonsense. You didn't do anything wrong, my dear. You are already beautiful and I would never ask for more" you pinched her cheek playfully.

You went for her room and start digging on her stuff to find what suits her. She was sitting on her bed, face red with embarrassment. She's not in blame, after all, loving partner is something she never received.

You pulled out amid length simple black dress and show it to her, if she wanted to wear it tonight.

"Your taste in clothes is already perfect, darling. I will be happy with whatever you give to me"

She smiled at the dress, happy she will wear what she likes in comfort.

You brushed her hair out and put a small cute clip to it, And then you sitted out a make up and Jewellery. You carefully hold her face and started implying.

She was so excited to see what she will turn out from your hands, so she went to the nearest mirror and stared at herself. You asked her what she thinks.

You saw her eyes becoming tearful, you quickly hugged her and played with her hair. She hold her tears from falling because she doesn't want to ruin the make up, even tho it's just a simple blush and eyeliner.

Now you both ready to leave and enjoy your very own night.

You guys went for long walk near the big forest, until you reached small restaurant and decided to sit enjoy it.

You went for bakery store and bought all kind of sweets she love.

It was close to midnight and thought you will head back to her house. But she insisted to stay outside because she loves spending time with you and she doesn't want to end it yet

The weather became a bit chilly so you brought with you a cotton sweater to warm her up. She didn't need a sweater though. You're existing and love alone was all it takes to make her cold lonely heart and body to feel warm.

____________________♡_____________________

She's pretty simple with her needs. But her thoughts always betray her and feels she's annoying or not enough.

She happy about everything (as long it's not crowded) from high end fancy nonsense to throwing rocks at water and eat sandwich in middle of nowhere

Every date, she likes Spending time together getting ready and at the end of day she would love to have you sleeping in her house

You don't have to spend money or anything on her, she will do the opposite for you though.

Now if YOU are more the shy and have no idea what you should do, welp. You have the entire day figuring out :D maybe a week too.

Give her a smiling rock with eyes and she will cherish it forever ♡.

[kmblckbk]

sun and shadow

part 1

18+ mature content, contains smut

*contains spoilers for ACOTAR*

eris x reader / azriel x reader

word count: 1640

------------------------------------------------------

you open your eyes when you feel someone kiss your forehead. you look directly into Eris' eyes. "morning princess" he says smiling down at you. "morning" you smile back, still a little tired after last night. "did i ruin you that much" he says grinning. "asshole, you can be glad i can walk normally" you tell him. "oh surely i haven't done my job right then, if you can still walk" he says before he kisses you deeply. "i guess i'll try again tonight" he says as he gets up out of bed. "where are you going?" you ask him disappointed.

you relationship with Eris was good, tho the only thing you hated was that you spend so little time with him. he was the son of the high lord of the autumn court and was always busy with something relating to that. Because one day Eris was gonna be high lord.

"autumn court business" he tells you, of course it was. "then what am I gonna do the whole day?" you ask him, already knowing it was gonna be another boring day. "waiting for me to come home" Eris says smiling at you, but you don't smile back. "hey I promise I'm gonna try my best to make more time for you" he says kissing you softly. "you promises me that a month ago too, and it only seems you're getting busier" you tell him disappointed. "I know sweetheart, I'm trying" he says. He hated it as much as you, to be away. But he had his duties, well his dad gave him tasks. And let's say he was not the man you could make a fair deal with, definitely not when it came to court business. add to that the fact that he hated you, because you were simply not born royal. No if anything you were a bastard, found somewhere dumped in a shed at the edge of the autumn court. A nice looking couple took you in but they were not as nice as you thought. Eris learned you that is was not normal to beat your kid, even tho he had some experience with that as well, not as bad as you though. You had a big scar on your thigh. Luckily you could cover it up quite easily, but you knew it was there, and so did Eris, who tried his best to make sure you never felt less worthy because of it.

"I'll try to be home early" he says before he kisses you one last time and walks out. You get dressed short after he's left to get some breakfast. Unfortunately when you leave your room there are guards waiting for you. "the high lord requested you" one of the guard says. Shit this could never be good, that man hates you. you follow the guards to the throne room, they open the doors and you see the high lord sitting on his throne.

Baron was as cruel as he looked. You hoped Eris would take over the throne soon, but in order to do that he had to kill his dad. And even tho Eris seemed like an asshole to everyone who didn't know him that well, you know he still loved his dad.

"ah miss y/l/n" the high lord said as you walk in. "you requested me?" you ask him. "aren't you gonna bow to your high lord" he said with a grin on his face. God you hated this man. You make a quick bow before him, hating every second of it. "so miss y/l/n, how are you and my son doing?" he asked and you already hear the disapproval in his tone. "we're very well, thank you for asking" you say politely. "hm shame, that's gonna make this harder for you" he says his face changing into the wicked face you remember all to well.

"what are you talking about high lord?" you ask him, getting a bit scared right now. "well miss y/l/n you see my son is thinking about marrying you" he says and your eyes grow big, happy butterflies go wild in your stomach, but they then turn sour as you see the high lords face. "and I can't have you walking around here as a royal. I will not tolerate bastards in my family. Surely you understand" he says smiling at you. "i-I do not, high lord" you say softly. "yes you do, tell me miss y/l/n. do you love my son?" he asks. "yes sir, yes I do" you tell him. "then you have to do what's best for him. the people of autumn court will not tolerate a bastard standing next to my son, not now and definitely not when he's high lord one day. There are tons of royals he can marry that this court will love. You will never be loved, your own parents didn't even love you enough, they left you to die. Do you think anyone will treat you any differently. You don't deserve my son's love, and you know it". You try your hardest not to cry in front of him. "b-but I" you say softly, knowing he's right. "if you really love my son, you leave and never come back" he says strictly. "but Eris he-" "you will leave, I give you one hour to pack your stuff and then my guards will take you far away from here, if you refuse to go along I'll let my guards take you away in a far less pleasant way" he tells you. you can't believe what's happening. "o-okay" you say nodding, knowing there's nothing you can do about this. It's either you go yourself, or the guards will take you somewhere, if not the grave, just to make sure you'll never step foot in the autumn court again.

You turn to go pack your stuff. "oh and miss y/l/n" the high lord calls behind you "this conversation never happened. You left because you loved someone else. And if you ever tell Eris about this, I'll kill you myself". You walk away fast, and quickly grab all your stuff. You don't even know where to go.

2 hours later the guards drop you off at the boarder of the autumn court and you tell yourself everything will be okay. They rip the necklace Eris gave you off of your neck. "no!" you yell at them, because it's the only thing of Eris you have left. "forget about this, you'll never see him again" they say before they leave.

You look back to the autumn court one last time "I love you" you whisper to the wind, hoping somehow it will find Eris. "I'm sorry" you say before you begin to walk to wherever you feet take you, far away from the autumn court.

Eris' pov

After a long day of business you walk to your room, tired from today and wanting nothing more than to scoop y/n into your arms and tell her how much you love her. you know she hates that you 2 don't see each other enough. You put your hand on your pocked where a wedding ring is sitting in it's box. You had yet to decide when the best time was to ask her to marry you. you wanted it to be special, but maybe you should just ask her. tomorrow you think, tomorrow you plan a nice evening for the 2 of you and you ask her then, you just can't wait any longer. You loved this girl.

You open the door to your rooms. "I'm home princess" you yell. There is no answer. "y/n? I'm home" you yell a bit louder, still no answer. This was weird, normally she would be waiting for you and kiss you as soon as you walk in the door. A weird feeling overtakes you, surely nothing bad happened right? You look in all the rooms, maybe she just fell asleep already or is so indulged in a book she's not hearing you. but all the rooms are empty. Then you step into the bedroom and your heart stops for a moment. The drawer of her wardrobe is open and half of her clothes are gone, with it the knife she always keeps for whenever she might need it, the one you gave her on your first solstice together.

No she can't be gone right? Not without saying goodbye or even an explanation to say why. You rush to the throne room, surely you're overreacting. You see your dad sitting on his throne. "have you seen y/n?" you ask him. "no, I haven't" he says an irritated look in his eyes, you know your dad didn't like y/n but fuck him, you loved her and you're gonna marry her. "she's gone" you say softly, realizing what's going on here. "so the bastard finally decided to leave. Good" your dad says. "shut up!" you yell at him. "don't you dare speak to your high lord like that" your dad yells angrily "she probably used you for money". "she would never" you tell him, angry now. At that moment a guard walks in "high lord, a part of your wife's dowry is missing". You look up at your dad, no it can't be. No this had nothing to do with y/n. "see my boy, woman are not to be trusted. They make you think they love you but steal from you when you have served your purpose" your dad tells you. "no y/n didn't do this" you tell your dad. "Sir we found this in the fault" the guard says holding up the necklace you gave y/n. "no" you whisper not believing it. But you have to, the evidence is telling you your father is right. She took the dowry and left. She doesn't love you and probably never did.

part 2

masterlist

[idolish7imagines]

RE:Purpose (Re:vale x Reader)

Chapter 5 :: Momo(NSFW)

summary: You're an assistant for idols and producers in the music industry, but getting a job with the famous Re:Vale takes a strange turn..

.::.

A/N: minors dni pls im begging you; writing this chapter was fun tho, next is yuki’s chapter; hope you enjoy!

After a night of drinking, you and Momo stumble inside your home (aka just the shared apartment with Re:vale, but they made it feel like a home) carrying each other's weight over the other's shoulder.

Momo lets you down onto the couch, but the two of you were so entangled you swiftly brought him with you. A waft of alcohol smell quickly seeps into the air. 

The sound of his drunken laughter ringed in your ears, even though you were looking more towards the ceiling, drunk out of your mind. 

Yuki was presumably asleep by the time the two of you got there. He needed to be somewhere early in the morning.

"Ehehe..you look sooo pretty right now.." Momo drawls. It took a lot for him to get drunk so it was evident he was really hammering the drinks down tonight.

You did nothing but smile at him, not even able to form cohesive sentences right now.

"I have.." he hiccups. "I have an idea."

You raise an eyebrow.

"We should go in my room..You've hardly ever been in thereee." He drawls, sounding like a kid that desperately wants to show their parents something.

"Because..you're an idol. It'd be rude. You need..privacy." you mutter, still having enough soberness to at least remember that.

“Who cares about privacyyyy..I want..you to.”

A moment a silence passes, and is only broken by you heaving out a sigh.

“Alright..” You start to get up, pushing him off of you a bit. “But no funny business okayy..?” He nods and gets off of the couch. You two had forgotten about the couch pillows you knocked off somewhere (Yuki would be annoyed at that later).

.::.

You wake up in Momo's bed. Something already felt horribly off (aside from your splitting headache) and you finally realize once you pull the covers up. 

You were nude.

Before you could screech at the top of your lungs, you hear your lover throwing up in the toilet of the hallway bathroom.

“Ughh..” He wretches. “I can’t believe I overdid it like that..” His shorts were just loosely hanging under his butt as if he put them on in a hurry without actually bothering to pull them up.

Your chest starts heaving up and down as you hyperventilate.

There was no way you just slept with THE Momo.

The time was already dangerously close to a photoshoot appointment for him, leaving you two no time to discuss before he put on his clothes and rushed out the door. Even the car ride there was silent.

You take care of some duties that, honestly, their manager should be handling, but its not too rough on you. There’s been worse days so far. Yuki was in the dressing room, he had gotten there at an earlier time (shockingly, considering Momo is the one who usually has to wake him). The mere thought of Momo talking about last night to him made a pit in your stomach turn.

In the dressing room, the idol in question was changing into his outfit for the shoot, taking his shirt off and putting the one made for him on.

Something interesting catches Yuki’s eye, catching a glimpse of his partner’s back before he puts the costume on.

Momo smooths it out a little, before gingerly turning to his partner, showing off the costume shirt.

“How do I look?”

Yuki only stares, making Momo frown at the lack of response.

“What? Did I put it own backwards?” He tries to find which side of the collar the tag is on.

The older idol only lets out a sigh.

“Momo, you have so many scratches on your back, I almost blushed.”

Momo blinks. “Wait…what?” He takes off his shirt again, looking at his back in the mirror.

He lets out a scream that thankfully no one was outside the room to hear.

“Y-yuki, I-i promise I don’t remember how they got there!” He stutters, genuinely being confused and worried what Yuki is thinking of him right now.

“Well you and (y/n)-chan were getting along pretty well, aren’t you?” Yuki crosses his legs, giving an unimpressed stare.

“..You knew?” 

The silver haired idol lets out a small chuckle. “You’re pretty easy to read Momo. It’s been nearly 2 months now.”

Momo’s arms fall to his sides and he hunches over in defeat.

“I’m happy for you, really. If I weren’t I would’ve said something earlier.”

Momo stands back upright. Yeah, he had a point. Yuki surely would’ve made his opinion known if he weren’t happy with it. Especially considering a relationship could cause trouble for them if it were to stir a scandal.

"Just, please. If you're going to be intimate, at least do it either after I'm asleep or go to a hotel." He says just as precaution so he doesn't have to be scarred.

"I..I didn't mean to though. I was just wasted last night, and so were they."

"You got that drunk? Are you stressed out?" Yuki's eyes widen. He couldn't remember the last time Momo was completely drunk.

"N-no! I don't know what came over me, I guess I was having a little too much fun.." He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, barely being able to recount what happened at the bar, let alone after that.

"Well, anyway, the point is I don't mind you two dating. Okarin might have a stroke though." Yuki imagines how much medicine the poor man will have to take.

"I'll deal with that when we get to it, haha..thanks though, I really like (y/n)-chan.." Momo looks genuinely bashful for once, gaze averting Yuki's as his face flushes and his lips curl into a smile even thinking about you.

“I’m glad.” Yuki smiles back. “Here I was thinking you’d be single forever because of me.” He couldn’t help but tease.

“wH-” Before Momo can voice his response, a knock was heard at the door.

You crack the door open. “Yuki, you’re on now.” You notify him.

He nods, getting up and leaving, but not before whispering to Momo. “You should use this chance to talk.” He pats his partner’s shoulder before walking off to the set.

Your eyes meet Momo’s fuchsia ones, and near hastily shut the door back. The idol rushes forward, sticking his foot in the door.

“Wait--AGH!” He winces in pain. “Maybe I should’ve thought that one through..”

You’d snicker if you weren’t so anxious right now.

“What is it Momo-san?” You ask in a flat, business-like tone.

“Don’t ‘Momo-san’, me, no one’s around!” He pouts. “We need to talk.” He says, sounding more stern.

“Please, j-just, after work..” Another attempt to close the door was made, before he flat out holds it open with his hand.

“No, now.” He says. 

You purse your lips, before deciding that staying outside and making Momo repetitively beg you wouldn’t be a great idea, so you finally oblige and walk in.

“I’m assuming this is about…last night.” You try your best to hide your flushed face even thinking about it.

“Yeah…I’m sorry.” The black-white haired man looks to the ground, repentant.

You whip your head up to him. “What? There’s nothing to apologize for, we were both drunk.”

“But, you regret it right? That’s why you didn’t want to talk about it..”

“I don’t regret it Momo…if anything I wish I at least remembered.” You state maybe a little too early.

That makes Momo’s face become as red as a tomato, hands covering his mouth, and you both were internally screaming right now.

“Do you…wanna do it again?”

Your eye sockets could nearly fall out right now, how could he make such a proposition in a dressing room?

“M-Momo!” You stutter, face flustered again and you could barely form any words like your brain is still trying to process all this.

“I won’t force you to, obviously it’s a risky idea! But…I’d really like to redo that experience with you..while sober of course.” His eyes seemed shy but had a subtle sultry glint at the same time.

You purse your lips, opening the door to see if anyone was in the hallway.

Nope. All clear.

The door is swiftly locked and before either of you know it, you’ve thrown yourself onto him.

He has half a mind to tear your clothes off, but knows that’ll come back to bite him later, so he quickly shoves them off onto the floor.

Your lips intertwine and you start to think of this as a bad idea less and less.

Momo puts a nipple in his mouth, minding that he has fangs so he sucks instead of biting (he’d save that for another time if you’d allow it) and you throw your head back in bliss.

Body shivering from him inserting a finger inside you earlier than expected, you give him a needy look that you’d deem as nearly pathetic if you weren’t intoxicated by him already.

He moves his mouth from your nipple to your lips, drowning out every moan you spill. His fingers enter you even faster to prep you for what comes next.

You shake, feeling like you’re on fire, but in a good way strangely.

Momo’s erection through his pants was clearly evident, and you assisted him in pulling his pants down. Honestly, it was pretty impressive for his stature. Precum leaked from it as his excitement was growing.

His fingers slip out of you and he looks into your eyes with hungry desperation. “Are you ready?”

A hard question to answer, as you were still a bit anxious if you could take it. You nod at him with a whimper.

Your eyes widen and a gasp is let out as he bends you over the dressing room table, right in front of the mirror.

There was a bit of roughness to him entering you, but eventually you didn’t mind as pain quickly turned into pleasure the more he rammed into you.

He turns your body around with ease and goes with a more missionary position. The fact he works out and used to be an athlete as the cause for his strength didn’t dawn on you until now.

Your hands find their way clinging to his back, intending to claw and make even more scratch marks, you didn’t care anymore if anyone saw them. If you had to, you’d cover them with makeup yourself after.

“(y/n)!” He finally calls your name without the ‘-chan’ addition, something he hadn’t done much before.

“Momo!” Your hand comes up to his hair as you made absolutely sinful noises.

“Shit! I…I won’t last long!” He says, still sliding in and out of you to reach his climax.

After a few more thrusts, he’d end up being right, pulling out and coming on your stomach.

The two of you basked in the afterglow for a moment, in each other’s (now sweaty) embrace. Eventually his eyes widen and trail back down to your stomach to see what he’d done.

“Aah!” He yelps. “(Y/n) I’m so sorry! I’m gonna go get a tissue!”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little.

.::.

On the ride home, Okarin was driving while Yuki was in the passenger seat, leaving you two leaning on each other in the backseats. Momo’s thumb lovingly brushes over your hand while you were holding hands.

“I love you..” He whispers, low enough so only you would hear.

“I love you too.” You reply, causing his expression to brighten.

“I’m glad you’re not afraid of saying it anymore~” He teases, but was pretty serious about it.

You huff. “I was NOT afraid of saying it-” “Was too, I was there when you hesitated saying it, remember?”

The two of you laugh. Okarin looks at both of you in the car mirror, catching on a little now. Yuki would snicker when he finally figures it out, it being painfully obvious to him how happy you two are.

[ryukyuin]

Naur Jun you're not aita 😭, to me at least. Hopefully anon learned that that was the incorrect way to share things they like (is pinning/tagging someone hard? Smh)

I agree that they could have been friendlier tho 😑

On a side note, I hope this hasn't impacted your health too much and that it soon just becomes a bad memory of sorts. Take care of yourself Jun! Don't let this bring you down 💪😤 This too shall pass

SNIFFS AT YOU ALL.... random tangent but did i misspell my own name somewhere . i thought i put juni/crux whenever i was talking abt myself but i could be tweaking!

AND NO IT HASN'T!! to be honest i was at my cousin's house for the past five days (came home yesterday!!!) so...... thinking i accidentally caught their cooties, siiighs. could also be my GARBAGE SLEEPING SCHEDULE THOUGH, GRRR GRRR GRRRRR !!! (it is 1AM rn, i often stay up until 3-5AM).

anyways spins you spins you spins you! thank you lovely nonnie, i'll try my best!! i should probably go to bed early tonight but. heh. no . (some of my mooties are only online later BECAUSE i became friends w/ ppl from different timezones so umm ermmm...... let me be parasocial /lhj)

anyways complaints under cut once more

ITS NOT EVEN THE PINGING BRO IT JUST FELT SO RUBBING IN MY FACE-Y....... again i think that might be moreso how i percieve tone/lack of ability TO properly percieve tone sometimes but. grrr stomps foot I DONT KNOW WHY THAT SPECIFCALLY IS MAKING ME SUCH A HATER!!!!! i think its the parasites in my brain and the sickness, SIGHS. i expect you all to bonk me if i get too uppity, sometimes i get a little too hater-y /lh

[risingsunresistance]

happy pride *drops these and runs*

[roscgcld]

Im feeling Angsty tonight so I'mma drag you with me :D

TW: Abusive Ex, argument, gaslighting (?), angst shit, don't worry fluff(?) at the end ;) (Every relationship has to go through the pain of argument, it's a common thing and for me it's somewhat a sign that you two really love and care each other)

Imagine having an argument with Nanami, it started small but it became heated to the point where he accidentally yells at you and threw a glass at the floor shattering into pieces.

You let out a yelp and flinches while you cover your head with your arms as your tears are threatening to flow like a river. You we're slowly getting used to the warm feeling of having a significant other not the feeling of pain and guilt like your ex put you through, Nanami knew about your past, you opened up to him when you were starting to feel more comfortable with your relationship with him.

He came home stress, stressful than the other day, you wished you had discussed this in another time but you can't help it.

The realization hit him like a truck when he heard a faint 'Im sorry, I'll do anything just please don't hurt me again' leave your lips. He didn't mean to scare you, he didn't mean to bring those memories back, he was overall stressed with the curses that suddenly appeared, paperwork's and Gojo's stupid antics that he let out his frustration to you.

"Y/N..." He's voice came out soft, almost a whisper telling you to look, you couldn't as tears started to fall down your cheeks. He hated seeing you cry, especially if it was his fault. Guilt was so overwhelming it hurts his chest.

"I-im sorry Kento... It's my fault..." turning around not facing him as you choked on your words trying to sound like your laughing it off, but you knew better, no matter how hard you try to hide the pain, he will always see through your eyes.

"I-I shouldn't have talked to you about this right now, I knew you we're stressed out but somehow I d-did. It's not your fault-" you jolted feeling a pair of arms wrapping your body making you stop your sentence.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I shouldn't have yelled at you, I shouldn't have threw the glass, I shouldn't have taken out my frustration on you. I know a simple apology won't fix the fact I brought those memories back but I'll do anything just so you can forgive me"

You couldn't help but let out a small quiet sob as he let you turn around to hug you properly, minutes later you pulled away calming down the storm inside you.

"Want me to ready the bath for you?"

"will you join me?"

"are you sure?" He was hesitant to but seeing you nod makes him feel a lot less awkward.

The bath was quiet, but there was something comfortable with the silence. Maybe the fact that you just cried letting your emotions flow, or you felt comfortable and safe with Kento. You two didn't have to say anything, you two knew that you want to do. He knows you too well it's somewhat scary. Will he take advantage of it? Will he use it against me?

Those words always floats around your head making you feel so anxious but you knew Kento too. You knew he would never take advantage of you, you knew he would never hurt you because he would rather face the world than hurt you.

After the bath session, you both lay down to bed, both facing the wall. You couldn't help but want to have a glimpse of your boyfriend Beside you only to see his face facing you staring deep down to your e/c eyes.

"I'm sorry" you apologized.

"I should be saying that, not you" he protested as you shook your head. You reached out your hand making your way to his hair. He always love when you run through your fingers to his hair, it relaxes him as soon as you touch his hair, it also helps him fall asleep.

You can't help but kiss his forehead, it's a small thing but to him it's a big thing, "We can fix things, right?" You asked while Nanami gave you a genuine smile as he place his hand over your cheek.

"Of course love"

You nuzzle to his chest making you hear his heartbeat beating.

"Kento"

"hmm?"

"I love you"

"I love you more dear"

And so, everyday he never fails to give you different types of flowers, it was his way of saying sorry, you knew giving you a gift was his love language so you accepted it. Some of your favorite flower he bought, you kept it forever by drying and labeling them as you put it somewhere safe.

He found your dried flowers by accident when he was looking for something in the drawers. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of you keeping the flowers he brought.

HOLY SHIT IM BRAIN STORMING TODAY WOOOO!!! omg my heart broke when I wrote this but it makes me Happy if someone cried XDDD I'm actually going to start a jjk blog soon but idk how you do the "keep reading" thing you see when you read some post. I'm like starting to make the rules and shit.

WHY ISNT HE REAL ITS SO ILLEGAL!!! I have like 3 fanfic draft for Nanami in wattpad but I'm still writing an aot fic and I haven't updated it TT

I am more than happy if you want more Nanami or daydream!reader content! I stalk your account often since you makes me happy a lot :D (GOD I'VE COME CLEAN MY SINS)

Have a good day/evening!

- ☕

....it is too early for this-

NO - I mean yes because Nanami is sweet, BUT NO! NO! NOOOOO!

This was so sad at first before it became somewhat sweet at the end?

AND YES WHY IS HE NOT REAL? NANAMI NEEDS TO BE REAL T^T MY NEEDY ASS NEEDS A MAN LIKE THIS. And did I see that you're about to start a blog yourself 👀👀 gimme your url later lmaooo. I am not sure on mobile, but on computer when you enter in your drafts there is this tiny grey box with dotted lines inside? That's the 'read more' tab. Idk on mobile tho

i would always accept more daydreaming!reader and nanami content, my inbox is always open for you love! sending kithes!~

[mxvladdy]

i have an angst request, i guess??

could you imagine the reaction when MC and a brother are cuddling, being real sweet and tender, rubbing sensitive bits of skin ect.

MC stares off for a bit and the brother thinks they’re being nostalgic but when they ask what they’re thinking about 😘 MC just says “oh? i’m just remembering that i’m a potential food source for you guys 🙃“

~My first request! Yay!~

I hope you like it. I just picked just 3 brothers that I thought would be fun. But if you want more lemme know!

Lucifer

Quality time with him is rare. He's a busy demon after all.

But after an unsightly incident a few years back he has been trying to take some time out of the day for himself. It is also the perfect excuse to have some quality time alone with you.

He likes to have you sitting on top of him while he lounges. Your weight and heartbeat were soothing. A living noisemaker.

It has become a routine now. You come and rest with him and enjoy each other's company.

This time you were a little distant. Your eyes constantly track the motions and actions of his mouth. You seem fixated on every little thing he does. From a sip of his drink to the way he scowls while reading the evening news. You’re mesmerized by something.

He takes it as you reliving the taste and feel of his lips on yours. He'd be happy to give you a reenactment. But, when he leans in for a kiss, he senses...fear?

No. Surely you had gotten over that little mortal hurdle. For all things unholy, he hasn't even threatened you in over a year.

He'll pry, demanding a reason for your sudden apprehension. If anything to mask his own fear with righteous indignation.

When you tell him it takes a lot of effort not to laugh. It wasn't a ridiculous notion. He had indulged once or twice in his younger years-not that he would tell you. The thought had crossed his mind not that he would tell you. But really you would have been dog food before he would put any effort into it.

He'll brush your concern off. He has no interest in your flesh in such a rudimentary form. Now that pretty little soul of yours was another matter...

“You seem- distracted.” Lucifer’s purrs against your temple kissing it tenderly. His deep rumble resonates down your spine. “What are you thinking about γλυκιά μου?”  He drags a razor-sharp canine down your neck teasingly. “Something good perhaps?”  

“No, sorry.” You burrow closer to his chest. “Just had a… thought.” Lucifer’s thumb stills, halting the teasing pattern he had been tracing into your thigh. He scowls brushing his nose across the crown of your head. If you were thinking of anything other than him, then he was doing this wrong.

That thought was… offending. He had carved out a spot for you in his already ridiculous schedule, and yet you seemed miles away. Normally these precious moments were spent with you snuggling close loving his undivided attention, and him loving yours in kind.

Tonight your demeanor was so demure. You clung to him as usual, soft lips trailing down his jaw to the little sliver of exposed skin from where he had loosened his tie hours ago. But, it just felt like you were just going through the motions. “Speak.” A request and order in one.

"If given the chance, would you eat me?"

"What?" Lucifer cups the back of your head and pulls you away to make eye contact. "What?" He balks, eyes wide. His expression was completely undignified. That certainly wasn't what he was expecting.

You explain to him about a conversation you had overheard in your early days of the exchange program. For some reason, it just hit you then at the feel of his mouth on you.

"I- hmmm. Personally, I would have fed you to Cerberus. I don't particularly enjoy the taste of human flesh." He settles back into his office chair unfazed. He thought he had something to worry about. "Besides, I have come to find I like you warm and breathing." He pinches your side teasingly ready to get the evening back on track.

"Wait! You thought about it!?" His blasé tone takes you aback.

Lucifer knocks his forehead into yours with a snicker. "Not too hard. Besides you'd probably give my pups indigestion with all the trouble you’ve turned out to be."

Beelzebub

He likes to spend time with you at his favorite cafe. The one with the little tea cakes and great sandwiches.

Normally you will spend a weeknight there studying and munching together. One hand scribbling away in your notebook and the other engulfed in his large hand. By the end of the night though, you always find your legs interwoven with his and his ginger head resting on top of yours.

He is full and happy. So happy in fact, he steals a kiss, and then another.

It’s a good thing he picked a booth in the back so the rest of the cafe can ignore the couple nestled closer and closer in the back. He sneaks a few more peaks in here and there, whispering softly. It was going great until- He hadn’t expected to feel you lock up. Was it something he said?

You’re embarrassed when he pulls away and tries to brush it off. You just got swept up in some thoughts, no biggie.

He won’t pry, he gets it, it happens to him too. But, when you untangle yourself from him he has to know what’s up.

When you tell him he is distraught. Because he 100% has and probably still will eat a person. He might have munched on a witch that had pissed him off just the other day…

What he hates most is he can’t really lie and deny that he hasn’t thought about it.  

“You taste amazing.” His words ghost over your lips as he savors the sweet mix of your coffee and natural flavor. You always taste like spiced oranges and honey when your lips brush. It’s intoxicating. Suddenly the flavor of you changes, a sour note hits his tongue. You go still and look out across the small cafe.“Are you ok?”

You pull away blinking rapidly. “Yeah-sorry.” You chuckle humorlessly. “Just...had a thought.” You try to move back into his arms but he stops you.    

"What's the matter?" He tilts your chin up with a callous finger. You turn your head away and answer. "What?" He could hear you just fine. Superhuman hearing and all, but he just couldn’t comprehend what he heard.

"Do you consider me as a food?" You repeat yourself. "I know demons eat people, and like you've mentioned it before. I guess, I don't know. Shouldn't I be scared?" You've never seen a demon wilt before. Beel recoils and tucks in on himself. His hand flops down to sit on his thigh.

Of Course, he did think about it. Hell’s he had considered it. Aside from being a demon, he was the avatar of gluttony. How many nights had he laid in bed, stomach growling, and your scent filling his nose when you first arrived. Mammon had a work out the first few weeks of school dragging him away from your immediate vicinity. It was fortunate for the both of you that you had bonded so quickly or else he could have ruined everything.

His silence was enough for you to know. "Crazy how things turn out right?" You try to lighten the mood. You stroke his hair gently trying to comfort him. "Sorry, I kinda ruined date night huh?"

"No, no this is good." He chuckles rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Or I mean. We should talk about this. Before Diavolo started working on the exchange program, human souls and flesh were pretty common delicacies." Beel collects his thoughts with a sigh. “The verdict didn’t go over well at first. I wasn’t too happy either if I’m being honest. But, I’m happy he did it in the long run.” He meets your gaze with a warm smile. “You’re the kinda treat I want to enjoy for eternity.”

Asmodeus

A deviant. An absolute terror when it comes to PDA. He doesn’t care if it’s class time. If he wants to be in your lap then that's where he'll be.

He'll nuzzle the crook of your neck whenever he finds his way on to your thighs. He always has a compliment ready for you. New perfume or cologne? Is that shirt the one he bought you? He'll dote on you for hours until you are a blushing mess.

He schedules out movie nights with you. Just the two of you, some good drinks, plenty of pillows, and no bothersome brothers.

The movie he picked tonight was an oldie from the Devildom. He was feeling a little sentimental and thought you would enjoy seeing some culture. You agree, but forget one little thing.

Old Devildom culture was...pretty graphic.

Asmo doesn’t notice how your mind drifted off during the opening act. He is busy creating a new trail of hickies along your shoulder and upper arm around his pact.

He does notice when he hits the sensitive spot of your neck that normally has you squirming but-nothing. Huh? Was he losing his touch? He is usually so aware of his partner's mood. He asks what’s wrong.

Your question comes out of left field. He panics, figuring the movie wasn’t the best for this conversation. He turns it off and gives you his full attention.

Has he eaten a human or two before. Yes, back when he was young and would get swept up in the heat of the moment. Crimson was a lovely color on him.

You try to console him. Really you get it, it was an errant thought. You know he won’t eat you.

Can he still call you a snack tho?

You watch the movie in dead silence. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you figure you should probably be disturbed by what you see on screen. Were you that desensitized? Probably. Should that worry you? Maybe? You try to weigh it out in your hand. The black and white feature flashing across your eyes. You have seen worse in crappy human B rated horror movies. But, those were special effects and pints of red-colored slime and food coloring. You had a nagging suspicion that the scene in front of you was real. You glance down at the slim demon trying to fuse his body into yours. His body flickering in and out of focus in the flickering lights of the movie. You try to focus on him, his warm body nestling closer to you under the blankets. It worked for a moment before another loud roar from the screen dragged your eyes back up.

The contrast between the violence on the projector and the soft innocents of Asmodeus’s lips on the corners of yours was wild. He wasn’t even paying attention to the film. Typical. This was his normal ploy to have you all to himself. It worked though, and you loved it. Oh- You watch with wrapped attention as the human on screen was consumed both body and soul by a horde of demons.

“Is the film more magnetic than me?” Asmodeus pulls away licking his lips. His rose-colored gloss was smeared across his cheek. You shudder blinking past the sudden thought of what that soft red color also looked like.  

"Nah," You huff wrapping your arms around him to press your chest to his. He purrs practically preening from your attention. "Just thinking."

"Oh~" You can feel his playful smile stretching along your hairline. "Care to share." He nips your earlobe.

"I just, humans really are just kinda food to you guys huh?”

You’ve never seen Asmodeus move so fast before in your life. One moment he is doing his best impression of an octopus and the next he is standing several feet away from you, hands raised in a mix of shock and defense. “Where would you-” He trails off hearing the sound of violence and death behind him. “Oh Hells.” He clicks off the projector in a panic. “I am so sorry honey! I did not think that through.”

You laugh awkwardly. “Would this be an inappropriate time to say I would go straight to your thighs?”

Asmodeus snorts in the dark. “Hips more like. You are nothing but sugar and fluff.” He flips the lights back on and he comes back to kneel next to you. He cups your face. “You know I would never do that right? I can’t say I haven’t done it before but I’ve never thought that about you.”

You hum kissing his warm palm. “Should I be offended or thankful?”

He hits you playfully. “That’s not funny!” You laugh taking his light swats, grateful that the mood in the room was already lightning.  

“It is and you know it.” You scoop him back into your lap and snatch the remote up from where he had tossed it. “Come on let’s finish movie night. I’m picking the show this time.”

[neoheros]

how would haikyuu boys handle falling in love feat. kuroo + akaashi + tsukishima !!

kuroo tetsuro

being in a relationship with him is just a pretty chill experience tbh

i feel like kuroo wouldn’t really date anyone he’s not close to on a comfortable level

people be like: omfg he looks like a player tho

he’s literally not ???? like y’all telling me this man doesn’t look like the idea of having to interact with people he doesn’t know repulses him ? bye

he’s not ignorant, he just isn’t the type to get out there unless necessary yk?

he’s got a good friend group and he’s totally satisfied with that !!!!!!

so when he was 100% sure that he saw you as somebody he’d want to be more than friends with he was just like :0

kuroo at 5:37 am, thinking of that one time you handed him a bottle of water first: oh— oh shit

he doesn’t act on it first though because y’all have been friends for so long and what if you don’t like him back ???

he didn’t wanna ruin the thing he had with you because you were literally the only one who tolerated him sending tiktoks at 4 am in the morning

kuroo: omfg have you seen this one yet

you: bro it’s almost 5 am are you on crack

but eventually he got tired of just staring at you and admiring you from afar and having to make up some excuse when you catch him cause he just really likes looking at you :(

you: bro stop staring at me

kuroo: no, your face bothers me

you: due to personal reasons i will make you pass away ❤️

so one day he just decides to shoot his shot yk?

if you reject him that’s fine, he’ll just have to send numerous tiktoks to wash away the awkwardness afterwards

like he’ll be upset about it because holy crap he flat out adores you at this point but he’s also got a sense of boundaries and will totally respect your decision

BUT !!!! when you told him you liked him too he just 🥺👉👈

this man had the goofiest grin on his face for weeks on end and his heart is all over the place because all the things he imagined in his head to do with you is finally gonna come true !!!

don’t be fooled though !! nothing will change from your friendship !!! you’re still both really chill with each other except now y’all can hug and kiss and !!!!!

kuroo: don’t i look kinda good in this picture though

you: not really, let me take a better one

kuroo: stop taking me out of frame

in retrospect, it’s really fun to be in a relationship like the one you two have because there’s not much things to disagree on and the dynamic you both have just go so well !!!

there’s also not a lot of new things to do or be uncomfortable about because y’all have already done everything as best friends !!!!!!! it’s 🥺

you, seeing kuroo staring at you: what’re you looking at me for

kuroo, unnerved: you’re so pretty

you, caught off guard: it’s my time to pass away now i see 😌

you two joke around a lot but that doesn’t mean you two take whatever you say to heart

somewhere along the line, this made kuroo a bit worried on how you took his intentions though

he knew you were cool with messing with him but sometimes he wonders if what he says ever gets to you

so one night while the two of you are eating frozen yogurt in his car, you in his hoodie and just straight up vibing to the tiktoks that played as background music

he looks up, spoon in his mouth, “you know that i love you, right?”

“you’re so cheesy,” you tell him, laughing while you scroll up to the next video on the fyp

he leans back in his seat, eyeing you under the single yellow light of the car

you, barely looking up from your phone: i love you too though

akaashi keiji

being in a relationship with akaashi is quite literally the most gratifying thing

he’s 97% of your wise decision making and you’re very much thankful for that

when he first met you he honestly didn’t know what to think

his first impression of you? an indecisive impulsive mess

his second impression of you? a very cute indecisive impulsive mess

there’s not a single doubt that he was crushing on you H A R D

he doesn’t pay attention to it though because he knew how crushes often worked and most of the time they didn’t really work out

but the more he looked at you or stared at you from afar with a silly grin that he doesn’t even realize, everyone around him notices just how silent you make him

leave it up to the fukurodani volleyball club to be the best matchmakers in the world

so one night while akaashi was chilling in bed he gets a text from bokuto telling him about an impromptu team hang out sesh

akaashi: it’s 7 pm ..?

you, in the group chat: theres never a wrong time for milk tea !!!!!

when you sent that everyone else in the chat was just so frickin ecstatic because now that you’ve confirmed you were going, it’s obvious that akaashi was now too

he arrived like 2 minutes early from the designated time and the way it wasn’t at all shocking when no one else arrived except for you

akaashi: well they totally bailed :/

you: hey at least now we have a list of people to take revenge on when the purge strikes

it’s okay though because the two of you make most of the night anyways !!

you never thought sitting outside of a 7/11 at 7 pm on a friday could be fun but as you sat there with boba tea and a ramen cup with one of your closest friends next to you, you were just !!!! so frickin soft

akaashi on the other hand didn’t feel anything but utter nervousness the whole time

it was so cold under the night sky and you were so close to him, he’s praying that you take the redness on his cheeks from the weather and not from the rapid racing of his heart

bokuto texting him: bro i swear to god if you’re not taking this chance to shoot your shot i’m >:(

he’s so nervous because it actually was an ideal time to tell you how much he liked you

plus he’s pretty sure that you were eventually gonna notice just how often he glanced at you whenever you came to their practices or in general

so he’s like fine then !!! he’s gonna do this tonight and if you reject him then he’s just gonna have to deal !!!!

akaashi, anxious: hey i really li—

you, cutting him off: i like you a lot and i’m pretty sure bokuto did this on purpose because he knows and i’m sorry if it wasted your time !!!!

akaashi, less anxious: oh

HE !! DOES NOT HESITATE !!! TO REASSURE YOU !!

he just smiles softly and tucks your hand in his and tells you he’d like to walk you home that night

after that something just changed between the two of you

suddenly he’s walking you home everyday with little forehead kisses before he leaves

going grocery shopping with him when you run out of food at home because he’s the only one who knows about your secret snack stash

akaashi: you don’t need that much yakult

you: ? don’t be alarmed but i think we just found the reason of our first fight

whenever you go out with him to shop for anything at all, he always has to be the person in front when you walk because he’s the one pushing the cart with his left hand while his right is tightly interlocked with yours

you just stray behind him, pointing out all the things you’d like and he’s the one who decides if it’s worth to buy because you’re absolutely sure that you’d be dead broke if you were left alone

akaashi: this hoodie looks cute, do you wanna try it out

you, recalling the four sweatshirts you haven’t returned to him: nah i have enough

sometimes you’d get in the cart whenever the grocery store you’re in is mega big and he’s just gonna have the most unbothered face as people eye him because he’s pushing a fucking cart with a person in it

you’d get worried though thinking that you’re too heavy for him to push around so you insist to get off but he just doesn’t let you because you were so cute and 😤

akaashi is just so frickin soft when it comes to you like most of the time when someone idly mentions your name a smile immediately comes up to his face and he doesn’t even realize it

he also almost always wake up to numerous snaps of you at 3 in the morning just doing the most random things

he goes through them with such a silly grin and has to fight the urge to screenshot all of them cause u were so FRICKEN cute

akaashi, looking at a photo of you with tears down your face from 4 am: that’s my baby 👉👈

everyone around y’all are just on the fence about the two of you dating since neither of you really cleared what was going on ???

you were scared to call him your boyfriend because there was never really a discussion about it and you didn’t want to come off as assuming

but one afternoon right before he left when he dropped you off at your house, he just stopped and looked at you and you were so confused

akaashi, taking off his sweatshirt and giving it to you: the news said it gets cold tonight

you, on the verge of tears: oh 🥺

tsukishima kei

he’s a salty little shit who complains 24/7 and that’s about as canon as it gets

BUT but !!! if there’s anything tsukishima is good at and i mean anything !!! it’s being observant and keen on the people around him !!! ESP TO YOU !!!

at first you were always just kinda there ?

like he noticed your presence cause you shared classes with him and you were also at his practices a lot cause you and kiyoko would walk home together

so he knew of you but didn’t really know know you, yk?

but then one day yamaguchi came to him introducing you because apparently he’s the only one left on the team who hasn’t met you and it may or may not be because you were low key scared of him

it’s all good though cause once you two shook hands and talked he became more open to actually including you in his life

you guys made out to be good friends considering that you balanced out his snarky attitude with your even worse comebacks

like they weren’t really all that clever but it’s annoying enough to get him to shut up when you want him to

everyone on the team was super surprised at the fact that you were able to talk to tsukishima like that but also they were like: “please don’t ever stop???”

so you became from someone he barely realized was there to always looking for you first when he enters a room

yamaguchi: you know some people would call that having a crush 😗

and he’s all confused cause he knew that the possibility of him getting through high school without having a crush was very slim but jesus christ a crush on YOU??

tsukki, internally: god has favorites and it is not me 💔

but when he gets over the idea that it’s completely revolting to like you like that he realizes something click and suddenly it wasn’t an annoying idea to see you romantically

so in full tsukishima style he asks you out and was pretty surprised when you said yes but you weren’t cause he wasn’t even mildly subtle at hiding his intentions

you: does this mean you won’t be mean to me anymore 🥺

tsukki: no but that’s a nice try ❤️

even when the two of you started dating, he didn’t really want anything to change cause he liked the dynamic he had with you

he was very relieved that you weren’t easily offended and you didn’t really get on his nerves a lot

you guys were hot heads but you also respected each other 🥺

something you quickly became accustomed to after dating though is being codependent when it came to sleeping

you’re usually always over at each other’s houses and his mom is totally over the moon at the fact that his son found someone like you

so every afternoon after school you two are at either houses and just chilling and vibing because school do be very tiring tho

most of the time naps happen and even if it is super hot outside and you’re on the verge of a heat stroke, you just can’t get comfortable unless you’re touching him yk?

tsukishima’s probably the same since he really likes it when his leg is over yours or when his arm is touching your arm

you, under a blanket against tsukki’s back in extremely warm weather: it’s hot

tsukki, sweating: yeah

you: so anyways

he didn’t even realize how much he’s used to you being there when he falls asleep that at night when he actually needs to rest and you’re not anywhere near him he just can’t ???

tsukishima, snapping you a picture of him with tired eyes at 2 in the morning: you ruined my life

you, just as tired, quickly replying: uno reverse card bitch

so it’s 2 am and neither of you can fall asleep and it’s just an entire frenzy of tiring yourselves out

the two of you end up facetiming and just talking endlessly about random thoughts and perspectives on people

his voice is 100% groggy and every 2 minutes he’s yawning but he really likes it when he’s talking to you because it’s always better when it’s you in the mix

he’s telling you all about how he thinks dinosaurs are super cool and fantastic that when he realizes you’ve fallen asleep he’s just like 🥺

he stares at the screen for a while, suddenly regretting that he wasn’t there to make sure you were comfortable

he’s got the softest smile on and he doesn’t even care that he’s staring at you while you’re asleep cause you just looked so peaceful and warm and sweet

tsukki: that’s my baby 🥺

he feels another yawn come up and he ends the call, hoping that the tone won’t wake you up when he does

at this point he’s also on the verge of falling asleep and he’s very glad that he talked to you because you always knew how to get him out of things like this

tsukki, texting you: thanks for falling asleep on me SNAKE

tsukki: love you, gn <3

[thegreenmetblue]

STARKER FESTIVAL SUMMER BINGO : 2nd square

not a date

read on ao3

Peter was utterly anxious. To be honest, he’s not even sure anything in his life stressed him more than that. To be fair, he wasn’t expecting this. At all. Let’s go back to earlier in the day. This morning to be more precise.

Peter was lying in his bed, watching some weird videos on YouTube. But it was Saturday morning. It’s what teenagers do on a early Saturday morning (read : at 10 am). Not that the boy was gonna say it out loud but it was either that, either reading fanfictions about Spiderman and Iron Man. But shhh if you ask him, he’d say it’s only for checking how people are describing him.

Anyway, he was watching some hilarious videos Ned has sent him for the last six days when his phone stopped the video in exchange of Tony Stark’s face. Peter’s heart skipped a beat in his chest, like every time Tony’s calling him. “Yes ?”, he answers with a faint voice. Most of the times, he has no issues talking to Tony face to face but god knows why, Peter has still big issues with calls.

“If this isn’t my favorite young adult. Hi, Pete. Im sorry if woke up you. Or maybe not that sorry, it was time to anyway.”, Tony’s voice says in the speaker. Peter’s cheeks redden at that. He doesn’t know the reason of it, but it’s been almost two months Tony stopped calling him a kid. And now he just said young adult, it gives hope to Peter’s poor heart. Maybe Tony stopped seeing him as a kid. Maybe he sees him more as an equal now ? Lost in his thoughts, the boy doesn’t even realize he didn’t answer to the man on the other side of the phone.

“Alright, imma take that as a no. Gosh, I wondered what happened to the boy that was practically begging to have all my attention.”, Tony laughs softly. Again, he just said Peter wasn’t that boy anymore. The boy makes a little shame sound to the man’s comment about his behavior, feeling his cheeks burning even more.

“N-no, im sorry, im here mr. Stark. You didn’t wake me up. And please take that back, I was never asking for you attention, old man.”, Peter shoots back. He loves doing that. He loves talking back to Tony. “Imma pretend I didn’t hear what you just called me. And Im also gonna pretend like you’re not shamelessly lying to me at the moment. Anyway, you have plans tonight ?”, Tony asks, a bit of growling in his voice. This automatically warms Peter’s heart. He’s probably gonna go to Tony’s lab tonight.

Peter was trying not to smile too much when he remembered Tony wasn’t actually there. “No, I don’t have anything. You want me in the lab ?”, the boy asks and immediately regrets his choice of words. want me in the lab. Fuck. He was gonna say sorry to that, but thanks god Tony speaks before he can make it even more awkward. “No actually I was thinking of something a little more fun. What do you say about eating in a fancy restaurant tonight ?”. Peter’s heart doesn’t skip a beat this time, it skips severals. Tony wants- what ?

“What ?”, he lets out, without even realizing it. “Should I take that as a no again ?”. Tony’s voice echoes in Peter’s brain but never gets analyzed. The boy’s still frozen, his phone hanging in his hand, the sound of his beating heart ringing in his ears.

“Peter ? Fri just told me your heartbeats are unsually high, are you okay ?”. And this time, that wakes him up. “Wh-what ? Oh.. no that’s- im okay, it’s just- MJ!”, Peter stutters as an answer. He swears he can hear Tony’s frowning’s expression in the silence that follows.

“I mean, she- MJ, she sent me a funny, a text, it reminded me of something and I huh.. yeah. No, that’s yes.”. Another long silence. that’s a yes. Peter feels like he just answered a proposal. “Yes as in, im free for tonight, mr. Stark.”, Peter finishes, his cheeks burning with shame.

“Great. And Im not gonna question what just happened, alright ? Be ready for 7.”, Tony simply says before hanging up. Just like that. Just like he didn’t just made Peter’s brain completely fry.

“Did Tony just asked me on a date?”, Peter asks himself out loud, alone in his bedroom, his jaw hanging in shook. What the hell ?

That’s how Peter started the most stressful day of his entire life. Exams ? Spiderman ? Thanos ? Forget all of this, he has a freakin’ date with Tony freakin’ Stark, that is the real stressful shit. He spends half of the day walking in his apartment.

Around 3, he starts to panic hard because Tony said fancy. But Peter doesn’t have fancy clothes. He stayed in front of his phone, hesitating to send Tony something about that or no. He doesn’t want Tony to think he only has kid’s clothes. But then, better this than showing up in a fancy restaurant with a pun-sweat right ?

PP : How should I be dressed for tonight ?

Peter finally sends, not asking but hoping Tony’ll understand what he meant. His smile increases when, 6 minutes after, his phone rings.

TS : Happy is gonna drop you a suit at 5.

Peter’s inside catches fire at that. The words sugar daddy are ringing in his ears. Tony is gonna buy him a suit. Just for tonight. For their date. “Oh my god, imma be sick.”, Peter mumbles. His heart has been beating so fast since the call. And he feels like he’s gonna throw up. And he’s also happy. So happy. But- a date ? With Tony Stark ? Peter has been in love with the man for- he can’t even remember. Of course at first it was just a fan crush, then a real crush, then it bloomed into full love. And Peter never thought he could had a chance. But- Peter’s thoughts get cut by the entry door opening.

It’s May. And it’s been 5 hours now that Peter is combusting with impatience all alone in his apartment that he just can’t help himself. As soon as May starts taking to him, he blurts out : “I’ve got a date tonight!”

That’s how the hundreds of questions start. May knows he’s gay. However, May doesn’t know he loves Tony and she definitely doesn’t know the actual date is with Tony. So when she starts asking who he is, Peter realizes it maybe wasn’t the best idea. So after receiving the 5 hugs May felt like she needed to give him for that, the boy sends another text to Tony.

PP : Can we meet at the park next to my building please?

And then, he lets May giving him advices for tonight. “Alright, I get why you won’t tell me. Even if Im a little concerned, I get it. Where is he taking you ?”, she asks, a big smile on her face. “I don’t know actually, he just said it was somewhere fancy.”, Peter answers, trying not to let his smile gets to him too much.

“And how are you gonna get dressed ? You maybe can try some of Ben’s suit ?”. And Peter’s heart warms at that proposition. “It’s alright May, I already have something to wear actually.”

The two next hours aren’t better, they’re worst. May continues giving him advices. For his sakes, Peter swears himself to never use some. Then he takes a shower, the longest he never took. Just in case. He wants all of his skin to smell good for Tony. His cheeks brun at this thought. Are him and Tony gonna.. ? Now his whole body is warming up and Peter can’t help but jerking off at the thought of him and Tony going home tonight and having some fun.

When Happy leaves him a text saying the suit is in the mailbox, the boy sneaks to get it. Once the suit is on him, Peter can’t stop looking at his own reflection in the mirror. It’s a light blue suit and fuck, he does look good in those. His whole skin is shivering because Tony bought it to him. Tony’s money is touching his skin. The boy snorts at his own weird thoughts. But he can’t help it.

A small whine escapes his lips when he realizes there’s still 1h30 before Tony comes to get him. And that’s the absolute worst feeling ever. Peter tries to work, to watch a tv show, to talk with May, to phone MJ or Ned, to build lego, but nothing is able to make the time look less slow. And the more the time passes, the more Peter’s stomach gets stress crushed.

When 7 pm is finally approaching, Peter’s not even sure he can breath anymore. “Peter, hey- Peter, please can you stop ?”, May finally snaps and Peter turns to her, ready to burst at her that she doesn’t know how he feels right now, but she shushes him before he can even start.

“Everything’s gonna go well, angel. But please, you’re gonna faint before you’ll even get there, alright ? You’re handsome my baby, he’s gonna love you.”, May tries to calm him by hugging him. He was about to answer her when the clock beside them shows that 7 pm is in 5 minutes. Peter jumps saying he’s gonna be late and rushes out of the apartment.

He went down the stairs, crossed the street and went to the park in a 1 minute time. His heart is menacing to get out of his chest. And when he finally hears Tony’s voice behind him, his whole body jerks and he turns to the voice.

His heart stops again. Holy fuck, Tony is- he’s god-handsome. Peter’s jaw opens and doesn’t close.

“You’re doing alright Peter ?”, Tony asks, after a few seconds. Peter tries. He tries really hard. But Tony is in front of him, in a grey suit that looks absolutely heavenly hot on him, and they’re going on a date and-

“Peter ?”, this time, he forces himself to answer before Tony decides to leaves him there. “Hum… huh- yeah? Yeah you look good. I- I mean.. Im good! Im doing… good.”. He watches in horror as Tony tries to not laugh at him. “Blue suits you, by the way.”, Tony comments and Peter tries not to blush or smile at that.

Then the older one shows him the car behind them and Peter hurries inside.

“So. Why the park ?”, the man asks after a few seconds. Peter’s brows frown in confusion. “Forget it. Everything alright Pete ? You look… tense. Did something happened while you patrolled ?”. And this time, Peter’s sure he’s blushing. Why can’t he just relax ? Okay it’s a date but it shouldn’t be any different than the rest of the time they spend together.

“Yeah.. Yeah im sorry I was just a bit nervous, you know… I… Im happy you invited me tho! So.. where are we going ?”, the boy tries to show he’s grateful for this. The last thing he wants is Tony thinking he’s not happy about the date.

“It’s an Italian restaurant, my favorite one. You’ll see, everything that’ll get into your mouth tonight will make you fly.”, Tony answers and there’s a silence. Peter’s cheeks burn hot now. Did Tony really said- oh my god. “Im just realizing how it sounds. Maybe not my best choices of words.”, the man laughs. laughs, as if he didn’t created a whole fire in Peter’s body. The boy just prays not to pop up a boner just because of a single sentence.

The rest of the ride is just small talks and when they finally arrive, Peter stays close to Tony, it makes him feel protected. And he likes it. The smile on his face is uncontrollable. He can’t believe he’s on an actual date with Tony Stark. His heart is about to burst from happiness. And the place is stunning, and Tony’s stunning. And Peter sees people watching them and he feels proud. He knows how much people want Tony. But Tony’s there with him.

Once they’re seated, Peter can’t help but stare at Tony who’s in front of him. And the only thing he can think of is that he loves him. But the boy shuts up. Tony didn’t mentioned it being a date yet, and even when he does, Peter can’t just say he loves him already.

When the menu comes, Peter just stare at the Italian names blankly. “I… I don’t understand anything that’s written.” , he murmurs to Tony, a bit ashamed. But the man just fondly snorts in response and translates him the different propositions. But after the explanations, Peter’s still lost as fuck. what the fuck are all of those ?. Tony laughs again, louder this time, noticing Peter’s lost face.

“You know what, I’ll order for you. How does that sound ?”. The boy’s heart stops and he flushes different shades of red at once. Tony is gonna order for him. “That- That sounds good. Im sorry I don’t know what are those.”, Peter finally says. “Hey, none of that Pete. Plus, Im kinda excited for you to try what I’ll pick for you.”, the man says, like it wasn’t making Peter squirm in his chair. Oh my god, he’s gonna die.

To give himself a bit of capacity, he pretends to read the menu once again and pouts noticing the prices aren’t there. Meaning it must be like, super expensive. He knows Tony can pay, and there’s a side of him that likes it. Because it’s easier for him to call Tony Daddy in his head. But there’s also a part of him that hates it because it feels like he can’t complete. May and Peter are kinda broke and Peter would have liked to be able to pay a restaurant to Tony too.

“What’s up with the pout ?”. Shit. “N-Nothing, mr. Stark really. It’s just… you know, I can’t… it’s a fancy restaurant and May and I aren’t…”, he begins but Tony cuts him. “Im stopping you right there, Peter. Im sorry if me picking a fancy restaurant embarrassed you, I should have asked where you wanted to go first. But don’t worry about that, okay ? Im not asking you to pay for anything, I invited you there.”. Peter feels his heart beating hard in his chest. “No, Im really happy to be there, I swear! I just… I just don’t want- I don’t know, forget it.”.

Tony does what Peter asked him, he drops the subject and start talking about Peter’s project in the lab. And that, it allows Peter to relax a bit. Because it suddenly feels like a normal time with Tony. And not a date. Well, a date yes but not an awkward one. And if Peter chokes on his own saliva when Tony orders in fucking italian in front of him, then at least, the man acts like he didn’t see it. And Peter’s happy there’s a table because explaining to Tony why he’s hard right now would have been real awkward.

It becomes a bit more awkward again when the meals arrive. Because Peter gets aroused by how good the food Tony picked for him is. Because Tony looks genuinely satisfied with the fact Peter moans at every bite he takes. And because watching the gorgeous man eating in front of him is also a whole show.

Peter is too occupied staring at Tony to realize he’s missing his mouth with the next bite he takes. The man laughs gently at him and Peter wants to fucking hide under the table because now Tony’ll think he doesn’t know how to eat.

“That’s good huh ? Knew you would like it.”, Tony smiles, after a minute of silence. The smile on Peter’s lips grows automatically. He likes that. He really likes that Tony knew what he’d like. “That’s… the best thing I ever ate mr. Stark!”, Peter answers, beaming with happiness. Even the awkward moments can’t ruin this for him. He’s so happy.

The rest of the evening goes well. So well even. But the more the end approaches, the more Peter can’t help but asks himself if something’s gonna happen or not. Like… Is Tony gonna bring him home ? Is he gonna kiss him ? Even the thought of that is enough to make Peter’s head feel dizzy. He can’t even let himself imagine something more than a kiss would happen. And if he does, he’s gonna combust in front of Tony. And before his mind decides to picture them having sex, Peter shakes his head, his cheeks reddening with both shame and want. He had so many dream about Tony, so many wet dreams about Tony. He has been dreaming about the man since even before they actually meet. And Peter feels like he would cum the second Tony lays a hand on him. That’d be pretty awkward. And then, Peter can’t help but wonder what Tony sees in him. He’s nobody. Tony can have whoever he wants, and still, he chose him. Does Tony know he’s a virgin still ? Would he care ?

“Okay, have you even listened to a word I just told you ?”, Tony asks, a jaded look on his face. Peter realizes the man has been talking to him and blushes in shame. “Im so sorry! I was thinking… I got lost in my thoughts, sorry.”, he apologizes, hoping Tony won’t think he’s boring him.

“Wow, he’s getting invited to the fanciest restaurant ever and still act like it’s not enough. What more do you want Parker ?”, Tony jokes and one part of Peter is happy he didn’t get upset. Another part of him just wanna scream he wants Tony to kiss him once they’re out of the restaurant. But what if Tony wanna take his time ? He doesn’t wanna sound as desperate as he really is.

“I’d really love for a car.”, Peter jokes back, glad he made Tony smile. “Ask and you shall receive.”. And Peter doesn’t know how honest Tony is with this. He hopes the man is joking. But Tony’s intense look in his eyes when Peter said those words is enough to make him realize the man is serious about this. “I was joking, mr. Stark.”, the boy adds, just to be sure he won’t receive a car tomorrow. Tony doesn’t answer anything to that, which is kinda weird, but Peter doesn’t think too much about it.

When the server comes back and asks if they want a dessert, Tony answers for him again. No. This time Tony doesn’t wait for Peter to even asks him, he just orders him something in Italian again.

“I could have asked him for ice cream you know…”, Peter whines, faking a pout. “Oh so he understands Italian now.”. And the smile Tony had on his lips almost all night is making Peter heart feel so light.

“I don’t, but I don’t think I need a italian degree to understand ‘gelato’, old man.”, Peter teases, making himself feels hot all over his body. He sees Tony’s gaze changing a bit too. Is Tony loving this as much as him ? “Brat.”, the man accuses and Peter stops himself to make a punishment joke. They’re not there yet.

The boy is now eating his damn vanilla ice cream and can’t help the blush creeping on his face again. Tony is staring at him. Not watching. Staring. Peter’s senses can feel his intense gaze on him, on his face. And the boy feels like he doesn’t know how to eat anymore. He’s sure he’s putting ice cream everywhere on his lips and wants to die about it.

“Y-You didn’t want to take something ? Huh… dessert or- or coffee ?”, he stutters, to make things less intense, because Peter is seconds away to moan under Tony’s gaze. “Im all good, thanks Pete.”, Tony answers and the boy doesn’t know if he’s dreaming or not but Tony’s voice sounded more… low ? He goes back to eating his ice cream, hoping it’s the last ice cream he’ll ever eat in his life.

When they finally go out, Peter feels drunk. He’s so happy, so nervous and so horny at the same time. He’d say so in love but let’s not brings more awkward to this. They walk in silence to Tony’s car. And just before Tony can open his car, Peter blurts out : “Thank you so much for the dinner mr. Stark! It was really really good and really fun. I liked it… a lot.”, he says, knowing he’s blushing again but doesn’t care at this point. Maybe Tony is waiting for him to make the first move. Because he doesn’t wanna rush him.

“Pleasure was mine, Pete.”, the man answers, a soft smile on his lips. And then, Peter doesn’t even realize what his body his doing, but that should be the good time no ? His heart is pounding so fast and loud in his chest, ears and whole body as he leans and kiss Tony. A smack. Just a smack. Because Peter doesn’t even know how to kiss. It was fast, but enough to make Peter’s heart explodes in his chest.

But then he sees Tony’s face. Tony’s frozen and shocked face. Shit. Did it was too soon ? Did it sucked ? Did Tony expected someone who could actually kiss him ? Peter wants to throw up. ”Mr. Stark ?”, he asks faintly.

“Peter. What… What was that ?”, Tony questions, his tone dangerously flat. “I- I thought… Im so sorry I... You know with the date and all, I thought maybe… maybe it was a good time to kiss you, you know ? Im sorry if Im not a g-”, Peter painfully begins but gets cut by Tony. “Wait- A date ? It wasn’t a date.”, the man says, his voice suddenly high. Peter’s blood turns cold in his whole body.

What ?

“Wh- What ?”, he breathes, voice already trembling. Oh god no. No no no no, this can’t be happening.

“This. That’s- Christ, Peter. It wasn’t a date. I- I didn’t- We’re not- Fuck.”, Tony panics, his voice almost screaming the last bit, stepping back from Peter. Peter who’s still frozen, watching what’s happening in front of him without being able to move.

“Oh god, Im so sorry if I made you think it was a date, kid. Im- It wasn’t my intention.”, Tony tries to apologize, clearly still panicking. The only word echoing in Peter’s brain is kid. Tony hasn’t called him like that for months. And now he’s doing it again.

“Peter, kid. Shit, you can’t cry- I- Peter Im so sorry I shouldn’t-”. And it’s only when Tony says that that Peter realizes tears are rolling down his cheeks. His heart feels heavy in his chest. No. His heart feels completely crushed in his chest. And the humiliation. The boy still stands there, only capable of crying in front of Tony, who’s panicking on his own.

“Kid, you- Im sorry, Im not mad I swear, we can’t- We just can’t. We’re not… that.”. And Peter’s heart feels like breaking again. “D-Don’t call m-me k-kid.”, and it’s the only thing Peter can lets out before fully starting to cry. Small hiccups escaping his lips.

Tony watches in horror, unable to do much. “Peter, im begging you- stop crying, im not mad, you’re- kid I-”, the man starts and if he wasn’t so much in pain, Peter would have been genially shocked to see Tony struggling so much to speak. “Stop ca-calling me a kid!”, the boy almost screams, surprising both himself and Tony. The man steps back again. There’s a silence. A loud one. A painful one.

“Im sorry. It’s my fault if you thought- Jesus, it’s my fault if you mistook this, Peter. Im sorry I let you think this was a… a date. You can’t- it’s not on you, Im not mad.”, Tony speaks again. But it’s only words. Peter’s brain shut himself. He doesn’t understand what Tony is saying to him. He just wants to die.

“But- But I lo-”, he starts, desperately, only to get cut by the man in front of him again. “No. No you don’t. You- Jesus ki- Pete, it’s not-” and there’s a silence again. “It’s not wh-what ? True ? H-How would you know ? And wh-why… what was al-all of this for if-if it was- n’t a.. a da-date ?”, the boy desperately questions, in between cries. Tony’s pained expression intensifies. “Pete, stop crying.”.

“Answer me!”, the younger one screams. He can’t believe Tony. It’s not true. Tony is just being- delusional.

“Christ why are you doing this ? Peter, it was just- just… us.”. Peter never heard Tony’s voice sounding so desperate before today. But he can’t care. He feels like he’s been crushed by a fucking plane right now.

“Us ? Ye-yeah and Im- im saying that us, is me lo-lo-loving you and you- you looking at me with- with that look in your eyes.”. And Peter can sees Tony’s eyes watering. Again, it’d be the first time he sees Tony crying, but he still can’t care. The man just steps back and sighs, passing both of his hands on his face.

“You stopped calling me ki-kid. And- and you order for me- and- and sh-shit! I- I know you like it. I know i-it because I can se-see it, mr. Stark. I- I want- I want you… pl-please.”, Peter cries even harder now, his voice constantly cut by cries. “Please.”, he begs again. And it’s even more painful because Tony doesn’t answers anything. The man just stand in front if him, completely frozen, with a pained expression on his face. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t deny it. Why doesn’t he deny it ?

And suddenly, Tony’s warms hands are on his cheeks, trying to wipes the endless tears coming out of Peter’s eyes. But the sensation of the hand on his cheeks only makes Peter cry more. “Peter… Peter, baby.. please. You- fuck. You have to stop, alright ?”, Tony whispers, so close to him, but yet so far. baby.

Peter doesn’t realize he leans on the touch, he doesn’t realize Tony’s other hand is clenching hard on his light blue jacket. And despite everything that is happening right now, Peter only wants them to kiss. A real kiss.

But the next thing he feels is Tony’s strong body against him. The man is hugging him and Peter can’t help but hug him back, his cries still loudly getting out. “Peter, please. I can’t. You know I can’t. Im so sorry. I shouldn’t have invited you, I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have let myself- I can’t.”, Tony murmurs those things in Peter’s ear, tightening his arm around the boy’s body and it only hurts Peter more. Why is Tony saying all of this ? What does it mean ?

“Please…”. It’s all what Peter is capable to say. Please love me. He feels Tony’s body, Tony’s warmth getting away and hates it. And the boy can’t take it. It hurts so much. So before Tony can even answer with another apologize, Peter’s wrists move on their own, and the next second he’s not there anymore, he’s on the top of the building next to the restaurant. He has to get away from Tony. He can’t stay there.

And if Peter hasn’t jumped on another building right away, he would have been able to hear Tony whispering on his own. “Pete… I wished you’d understand why this can’t be a date, why I can’t let you love me back.”, finally letting himself cry now that Peter ran away.

second square for @starkerfestivals 🙈🙈

alright so first of all im so sorry for this fjndldl 😭😭😭 this bingo is challenging me so much tho bc i wrote my first tony fucking peter and now i wrote my first sad ending

its just the first thing that came to my mind seeing ‘not a date’ so i followed my idea

also i edited it three fucking times bc tumblr was being a bitch with me today 🔪

[honey-dewey]

Finding the Right Voice

Frankie Morales/Mute and chronically ill Reader

Word Count: 1,804

Warnings: Reader is both mute and has gastroparesis. Reader throws up once. 

After much pestering from the boys, Frankie reluctantly signs up for a dating app, intending for it to be a joke. Until he falls in love. You and him text daily, getting to know each other so intimately despite never meeting. At least, never meeting until Frankie wants to take you on a date. So how the hell are you going to explain to him that you are constantly ill and will never speak again?

Frankie had always thought dating apps were a waste of time. Who the hell actually met the love of their life through the Internet? 

Frankie Morales, that’s who. 

Of course, he’d been hesitant to tell the boys he’d found someone, mostly because he knew they’d give him shit about it. And they did, of course. But now, months after meeting someone, they realized Frankie was genuinely happy and toned the teasing down. 

“I’m just worried!” Frankie said, staring at his phone. “They haven’t responded in days.” 

“Dude,” Benny said, gesturing with his beer bottle. “They’re probably just busy. Or out somewhere with shit cell service. I dated a girl like that. She went on vacation with her parents and didn’t call for like. Two weeks. Thought she’d died. But when she got back.” He leaned back, smiling drunkenly. “The apology sex was mind blowing.” 

“Okay!” Santiago interjected, throwing an arm around Frankie’s shoulders. “You think they’re on vacay, Fish?” 

Frankie shrugged, grabbing his own beer. “I dunno. They aren’t the vacationing type.” 

William snorted from across the table. “Just like they aren’t the phone call or meet in person type?” 

Immediately, Frankie knew where this was going. “Ironhead.” 

“I’m just saying!” William pointed out. “How do we know that Catfish isn’t being, well, catfished.” 

Frankie sighed into his bottle. “I don’t wanna talk about it Will.” 

Santiago, who was somehow the voice of reason here, nudged Frankie. “You texted yet today?” 

“No.” 

“Why don’t you?” Santiago suggested. “Then leave it alone for a while. I doubt they’re meaning to leave you, they seem too nice.” 

Frankie picked up his phone and opened his texts. Aside from the group chat he had with the boys, the aforementioned number was the last one he’d texted. 

Frankie: Hey, haven’t heard from you in a bit. You doing okay? 

Twenty miles away from the bar Frankie was in, you were leaned over the toilet in the hospital, hurling away what little applesauce you’d eaten for dinner. 

Sitting back against the cold tile of the hospital bathroom wall, you sighed deeply upon hearing your phone ping. Who the hell wanted to talk to you right now? 

Of course, it was Frankie. 

Settling down in the bathroom, you unlocked your phone and texted him back. 

You: I’m so sorry Fish. I’ve been a bit sick. 

Fish: You don’t have to apologize for that. Are you feeling any better? 

You snorted softly. As if. 

You: Not really. It’s just gotten worse. Spent most of today throwing up.

Fish: You’re drinking water, right? Gotta stay hydrated. 

You snapped a photo of your half full water bottle a nurse had brought you and sent it to Frankie. 

You: Yep! Gotta finish this before I go to bed. 

Fish: That’s good

Fish: Wait a second. Are you in the hospital? 

You swore silently. How the fuck? Unless he frequented the same hospital as you, how the hell did he even know where you were from that blurry water bottle photo? 

You: Yeah, I got here today. Nothing too serious, I was just too dehydrated

You felt bad lying to Frankie, but you really didn’t want to tell him the truth. The truth was too long, too complicated. Frankie would probably leave if he learned the truth. 

Fish: I’m not too far away, if you’re at the hospital I think you’re at. Want me to drive you home when you leave? 

You: Nah. I’m staying with family rn and it’s a haul to get out there

Another lie, another stab of pain through your heart. 

Fish: Okay. I still wanna take you out though. We could get dinner and walk around the park. 

You almost started sobbing. 

You: Oh Frankie. I wish I could. 

As soon as you typed the message, you deleted it. Best not to let him think anything was wrong. Instead, you took a minute and finally replied with, 

You: That sounds lovely Fish. 

Fish: But?

You: But I don’t think I can.

Back at the bar, Frankie was slumped over the table, staring at your tiny message of rejection. 

“Dude, that’s hard,” Benny commented. “I’m starting to think Will might be right.” 

“I’m sorry?” William said, coughing as he swallowed wrong. “Say that again?” 

“No.” Benny leaned over the table and patted Frankie’s wrist. “I got nothing dude. Nothing.” 

Santiago sighed. “Why don’t we stop giving Fish a hard time?” He said, seeing the hard lines in Frankie’s face appear. “They said they were in the hospital, so maybe it’s really bad.” 

“You think?” Frankie asked, looking up with wide eyes. 

“Maybe,” Santiago said. “They might not want you to worry about them.” 

Frankie looked back at his phone, at the waiting message. He picked his phone up and typed one more message before shutting it off and pocketing it. 

Frankie: I just wish I could get to know you. For real. 

You stared at your phone, tears sliding down your face. Frankie would never know, if you could help it. He’d never know that you were so sick all the time. That you couldn’t eat anything without hurling it up hours later. That you hadn’t uttered a single word since you’d turned sixteen. That you’d never speak another word again. 

Putting your phone away, you abandoned the water bottle and shakily crawled back into bed, sobbing silently into your pillow until you fell asleep. 

The next morning, a team of nurses checked you over and deemed you okay to leave the next day. You nodded numbly, absently fiddling with a small stuffed toy as they started your laborious morning routine. 

“This came for you last night,” a nurse said as everyone left your room. She placed a worn out baseball cap and a folded note on your bed. “From a very nice gentleman who seemed rather heartbroken.” 

The nurse left, leaving you to grab the cap and the note. 

The cap was worn out, the edges all frayed and the logo on the front nearly illegible. The note was in much better condition. 

Hey. 

So, I’m sorry about what I said last night, and I feel like a text wouldn’t have made it better. This is my favorite hat. It’s seen some shit, just like me. And just like you, I think. 

Look, last night, I sounded like a dick. I want to make it up to you, I really do. But I don’t know how to take you on a date or anything. I sure hope it isn’t because of me that you don’t want to meet. I know my nickname is Catfish but I promise I’m who I say I am. 

Tomorrow, I get off work early. If you’d let me, can I pick you up and take you out? Or at least take you back to my place for a movie or something? Please. 

Love, your Frankie. 

You ran your fingers over the lettering, memorizing how Frankie wrote every single word. Maybe, maybe it was time to open up. The worst that could happen was rejection. 

Scooping your phone up, you texted Frankie back. 

You: Tomorrow at 4, that’s when they discharge me. Get here early tho, I have some stuff to explain.

The next twenty four hours were hell for the both of you. You were both plagued by so much anxiety it was hard to do even the most basic of tasks, but you managed. Eventually, you received the text you’d been dreading all day. 

Fish: I’m here. Visiting room B. 

You took a deep breath. All your personal belongings were in a drawstring bag you put over your shoulder. You headed out of your room and slowly down the hall, towards the visiting room. 

Opening the door was the hardest thing you’d ever done. 

Once you’d opened the door, you stopped in the doorway, taking Frankie in. 

He looked exactly the same as he did in his photos. Tall, handsome, kind. He smiled upon seeing you, and you swore your heart stopped. 

“Hello,” Frankie said, moving towards you and holding out his hand.

Hello you signed, waiting for Frankie’s reaction. 

He paused, his hand falling to his side. “Mute?” 

You nodded. 

Frankie simply smiled again. “So that’s why you don’t like phone calls,” he said. “It’s okay. I know some ASL.” He paused, taking you in. “Can I hug you?” 

Yes please.

He wrapped you in a warm hug, allowing you to collapse into him. Months of text messages and listening to his voice mails were nothing compared to this. 

Eventually, he pulled away, and you two sat on the uncomfortable couch. 

“So what’s with the tube?” Frankie asked, gesturing to your face. 

You pulled a whiteboard out of your bag and began to write, going slowly so you spelled everything right. 

I have a condition called gastroparesis. My stomach is paralyzed and won’t move food to my intestines. I “eat” through a port in my side and this tube in my nose leads to my stomach, so whatever I drink can be drained out. I went mute before I got diagnosed with this.

“Oh.” Frankie blinked a few times. “So I guess dinner is off the table too.” 

You snorted, laughing as best you could with no voice. No dinner. you signed happily. But a movie would be nice.

“A movie it is,” Frankie said, standing. “C’mon. I’ve got a bunch of movies at my place. And I think the boys are coming over tonight.” 

You stood, following Frankie to his beat up old truck. He talked your ear off about all sorts of things while he drove home, and it wasn’t until he’d pulled into the driveway that you’d remembered his hat. 

Close your eyes. You signed, digging around in your bag. 

Frankie did, laughing when you snuggly placed his hat on his head. 

“Thank you,” he said, taking your hands. “I was really worried you’d catfished me at first. I didn’t know what to think when you didn’t want to call or meet. I dunno, I just thought you weren’t, y’know, you.” 

You shook your head, pulling your hands out of his. I wouldn’t dream of it.

Frankie smiled. “I love you.” 

I love you too Fish.

That night was the happiest you’d been in years. Frankie’s friends were all amazing people, and all three of them immediately overlooked your muteness and illness. You were happy and Frankie was happy. To them, that was all that mattered. 

“So Fish,” Santiago said, leaning across the couch to nudge Frankie’s bicep. “Aren’t you glad we forced you to download that dating app?” 

Frankie looked at you, curled up under his other arm, sipping water and waiting for the feed bag with your dinner in it to finish draining into your port. You looked up at him, smiling and nestling closer. 

“Yeah. I am.”

[ayellowcurtain]

I can be your lover

chapter 3

Robbe doesn’t think too much about grabbing his phone anymore, clicking on the name, scrolling through the page, clicking on some old pictures just to see him again, watching the new stories, Sander partying with his friends until the early hours of this morning. It’s part of Robbe’s routine to check Sander’s social media like it’s brushing his teeth or skating back home hearing his music.

He brought it to himself so he has to suck it up. Sander is more than well adjusted to his new life, his new friends.

The conversations that used to happen constantly throughout every day changed a few months back and are now just a quick exchange of texts every few days, nothing longer than ten minutes, and nothing too deep inside each other’s lives too. Robbe still misses Sander like he did when Sander first moved away but he doesn’t have the space to say it anymore.

It was obvious that distance would push them apart. They were too naive to think they could beat it.

He missed his opportunities time and time again. The ticket he had to go visit expired a few weeks ago and he knows it was the last straw for Sander to give up on them completely, no matter how much Robbe tried to explain and how many times he apologized for not finding the time or courage to go visit.

Robbe is terrible with words but he managed to say them when he felt it but he’s a disaster with actions and he didn’t take one with someone that’s all about actions speaking louder than words.

“Baby, are you busy today?” He hears his mom’s words like they’re on the other side of a tunnel. He looks up and she’s smiling, repeating her words now that she has his attention.

“No...No, I’m not really busy, why?”

“I was thinking about going to the mall and shopping.” He can feel her excitement in her voice. They don’t do this often: outings that don’t involve their doctors or grocery shopping. And his mom has been doing really, really good and Robbe thinks if he lost one for his lack of attitude, he shouldn’t do the same with his mom.

“Okay. Let me just change.” He smiles back and she claps her hands, leaving his room to go grab her things. The last thing Robbe wants to do is go out but he’ll force a smile on his face and hold however many bags she needs him to hold.

to Jens: Do you want to do something tonight?

I need some beers

He puts his phone inside his jacket to give his mom his full attention for the afternoon, hoping Jens has planned something for them to do by the time he’s back home tonight.

Robbe doesn’t need anything but he lets his mom buy him lunch and when she shows him this perfect black leather jacket that looks a lot like one Robbe used to steal from Sander, he lets her buy it for him too. He checks his phone but there’s no message from Jens yet so he texts Zoe, inviting her for some coffee with his mom before they head home. It’s nice to see her again and his mom loves Zoe so much but Robbe can tell something is up. Zoe keeps looking at him in the way she does when she’s worried. He doesn’t ask because his mom is there and he doesn’t need his mom in the middle of whatever drama Zoe is hiding from him.

On their way back home it’s colder than expected after walking for so many hours inside the mall, the sun is completely gone so the temperature dropped drastically and Robbe finds any excuse to open the bigger bag he’s carrying, putting his new leather jacket on, searching for his phone to put inside the outer pocket. He holds it tighter and the screen lights up, showing the notification of a few new messages from Jens.

to Robbe: No plans but you can come by if you want, play some video game

talked to Jana yesterday

She told me Sander is hooking up with a girl…

Robbe stops walking, carefully reading every message again to make sure he didn’t misinterpret what Jens was saying. He knows he should read this with the biggest grain of salt because Jana has moved back a few weeks ago and she barely knows Sander but in the back of his mind, for a reason Robbe can’t understand, he thinks she might be telling Jens the truth.

to Jens: How does she know that?

He can guess the answer - Britt and her big mouth - but he doesn’t know what to say.

to Robbe: Britt told her that he’s been sleeping with someone for a while now but it’s nothing serious

probably just a fuck buddy

he did repost stories with a blonde girl tho

Robbe leaves to answer Jens later when he’s home, and he opens Instagram instead, Sander’s profile picture being the first one available for him to watch - his favorite hobby -  and he clicks on it without thinking and there it is. Robbe keeps his thumb on the screen to freeze the frame.

It’s a stories of someone else that Sander shared. It’s too fast for Robbe to understand what’s going on but he stops when he sees Sander laughing, with sparkly eyes that are the sign that maybe he’s a little tipsy, always in a better mood after a few beers, his hair messy from what Robbe assumes to be strange fingers running through his locks and the girl finally turns back to look at whoever caught them making out, blushing with the brightest red lips and Robbe takes his finger off the screen and it’s over in the next second.

“Robbe…” Zoe is standing next to him, his mom a few steps forward waiting for them.

“Am I like the last one to know?”

Zoe presses her lips together, trying to justify not telling him about it but Robbe doesn’t really care. It’s his fault anyway. Sander has every right to move on and post it all over social media.

He shoves his phone back in his pocket and Zoe wraps her hands around his arm and forces him to start walking again, acting as nothing happened to his mom while they walk Zoe home and then go home themselves.

He tries to engage in whatever conversation his mom starts about picking which pizza they’ll eat tonight but his brain keeps replaying that quick clip over and over again even though he shouldn’t care.

Sander knows that he saw and he doesn’t text anything to Robbe, as he shouldn’t but Robbe expected him to.

He completely forgets about answering Jens and goes to bed right after eating half a pizza without noticing, turning his phone off, hoping he’ll wake up to some missed calls or texts from Sander, knowing it won’t happen.

The story is still there when Robbe wakes up the next morning. He clicks on Jens’ texts to finally answer him.

to Jens: sorry for disappearing last night, ate some pizza and passed out before I could tell you.

Thankfully, Jens is not online so Robbe won’t have to keep a conversation going when he’s still half asleep and in the worst possible mood.

He pushes himself to lie on his side, staring at the space next to him where Sander would usually sleep.

There were long months of miscommunication, frustration, and excuses because Robbe was too afraid of any change. He finally had the life he dreamed of, and two months after, Sander was moving to another country with no intention of coming back to visit every weekend. That change was big enough to paralyze him, unable to decide for himself what he wanted in their relationship. He thought they could maintain some degree of their relationship online while Robbe worked on himself but it wasn’t enough for Sander, clearly.

And Robbe couldn’t whine and beg for his attention so he kept his neediness to himself while their conversation got smaller and meaningless with time. The few things keeping them close are over now and Robbe can try to hide it all he wants but he knows it won’t be easy.

He clicks on another app that he opens frequently but this one just to look.

The airplane tickets aren’t too pricey, he just has to find one, buy and just fucking go there already! He can’t have another long semester letting the unknown eat his brain out. If he asks Sander he’ll give a too honest answer, cold without thinking about feelings because he’s hurt and he doesn’t care if Robbe gets hurt too because he brought this to them. Sander will be practical and Robbe needs him to be more considerate.

He stops scrolling when he finds a flight to Sander’s new town. His dad sent him his birthday gift in money and Robbe didn’t use much of it yet. Added with all the money his dad sends him every few weeks, it’s barely enough but it’ll work.

He buys the ticket before he can change his mind again and drops his phone on his mattress, looking forward. He has one hour to pack a bag and go to the airport. If he works fast enough he won’t have time to change his mind.

Robbe sits on his bed and grabs his school bag from the floor, unzipping it and turning it upside down on his bed to empty it, leaving the mess for him to deal with when he’s back. He doesn’t know for how long he’ll stay but it can’t be that long that he can’t fit in one bag.

If he tells anyone, as they did to him, they’ll end up telling Sander about his plans. Even Zoe would end up accidentally spilling the news to Jana and she would tell Britt. So Robbe tells Senne that he’ll need him to lie for Robbe for a few days. He needs to pretend he’s sleeping somewhere else so nobody will try to change his mind about jumping on a plane suddenly to go talk to Sander because of a social media post.

He’s the only one that won’t call him crazy or ask any questions.

When everything is planned with Senne, Robbe is finally done packing too, not giving himself even a second to look around and diggest the crazy plan he’s about to do, he’s almost late and the taxi is already downstairs, waiting for him.

He kisses his mom goodbye and quickly tells her he’s going to spend the week at Senne’s because he needs some help with Zoe. He’s out the door before giving a proper explanation or he would get caught in his lie, everything written all over his face because Robbe is that terrible of a liar.

The realization of how fucked his whole plan is only hits him when he’s already in his seat inside the airplane, high up in the sky, being offered some snacks that he declines.  

He looks so desperate, jealous, and thinking sex will fix everything that he ruined. He looks and sounds hot and cold and confusing and Robbe hates the realization while he’s sitting inside an airplane, with no way out to go back home.

If he gets there and Sander is living a married life already with his blonde dream girl, Robbe will have to find a way to dig a hole and hide forever.

He sits forward, finally able to see groups of houses again down on the ground. The pilot tells them they’ll be landing soon and Robbe rushes to the bathroom before he won’t be able to. He washes his face and looks at himself in the mirror. He’s not doing a good job at hiding his nervousness.

He won’t even have time to hesitate while waiting for his bag. Everything he brought is in the compartment over his head. He only needs to get inside a cab and go to Sander’s place. In two hours or so he’ll have to deal with whatever he planned so quickly in his head.

Maybe if he asks what’s going on, it won’t feel so desperate. It’s not unfair to want to know where they stand. Even if it’s a closure that Robbe is not ready to have. He settles for asking, as calmly as he can, what’s going on between them now that there’s someone else again.

The airport is tiny and Robbe is a little bit lost, wandering without knowing where he’s supposed to go to find the taxis. Sander's address is still saved in a print Robbe took of their conversation before they started drifting apart.

Sander had moved to a better apartment that he could only afford because he was sharing with a few of his friends. Robbe remembers typing, asking why was Sander sending him that if they were barely talking to each other those days. He wanted Sander to tell him they were still okay enough but Robbe didn’t send the message, just said the place looked nice, and took a screenshot to save the address.

He asks the taxi driver if it’s a long drive and he shakes his head, looking at Robbe through the rearview, “Five minutes, not much more than that.”

Robbe sighs, trying to make some breathing exercises to prepare himself. Five minutes is not a lot of time, not enough either.

He tries to keep himself from overthinking as he jumps out of the car, putting his bag over his shoulder. The building seems very new, modern even and Robbe wonders how expensive it is to live there.

There’s a guy behind the desk when he walks in and he leads Robbe to the elevator, pressing the button for him, letting him go upstairs by himself. Robbe found a way to mumble, after giving the old man all his information, that it was a surprise so he wouldn’t call Sander. He seemed to get it, smiling and Robbe was giving the directions: on the third floor, the door on his right was Sander’s.

He fixes his hair, adjusts his bag on his shoulder, and stares at the door before knocking, hoping Sander is the one to open it, not one of his friends or the girl. He should have told him he was coming, at least Sander would have time to hide anything he might want to hide but Sander doesn’t seem unhappy to see him at his door. Robbe doesn’t remember what he had planned to say and Sander is quiet too, doesn’t look like he had much sleep time or any sleep for that matter.

He can barely open his eyes, wearing his underwear and a black shirt and Robbe doesn’t wait for another second, putting his hands on Sander’s neck, pulling him down for a heated kiss. He licks Sander’s mouth open, pushing him inside his apartment and Sander slams the door closed behind Robbe, gently taking his bag off his shoulder, finally awake enough to lead the way to a bed.

-

Robbe snuggles closer and carefully lies on Sander’s shoulder. He obviously changed the order of things but there’s no escaping a conversation now while they’re both wide awake, lying in bed together. Robbe wonders if Sander at least changed his sheets. He has to know what Sander is feeling but he’s so afraid of the answer.

He looks up and finds Sander already staring at him, with a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

“You know why I came?”

Sander lifts his eyebrows, looking elsewhere now and he sighs annoyingly.

“I’ll be surprised if I don’t.”

Robbe looks down again, at Sander’s hand casually just on his chest, like he’s waiting for Robbe to hold it like he would any other time. He doesn’t because it feels wrong yet but he walks with his fingertips over Sander’s knuckles, wanting to hold his hand, kiss him, tell Sander that there’s no way anyone else is better than them and that’s why he’s here.

“So…is this like Britt all over again?”

He knows it’s not the best way to ask if Sander still wants to be with him and just him but he can’t find another way to do it.

“No. I broke up with Britt right after our first kiss. And I’m not dating anyone right now. So it’s different.”

Robbe looks up knowing he’ll find an upset Sander, he doesn’t ask anything else to not risk his luck. He pushes himself up and looks at Sander face to face, staring at his still reddish lips, and kisses him again, leaving the rest of this painful conversation for later

[lavendersuh]

omg a) what did u drink today HAHHCJWHC and b) could i get the "there's only one bed" line with morkle (if u want to write it hehe!!) - star :D

mark lee x reader // 1195 words // “there’s only one bed” // fluff to the max!

a) i’m going feral i wrote half of this out and then it erased!!! bc tumblr hates me!! anyways i drank some vodka before mixing a good ol long island iced tea with some sweet tea lol

b) i also cannot tell if u want mark and chenle or just good ol mork but that’s on me being inebriated luv xo i’m going through some Mark Lee Hours tho so we gonna just go w a self insert tonight i hope u enjoy ✨✨

“mark, we have a problem...” you mumble as your roommate for the weekend pulls his suitcase down the hall.

each summer your group of friends sets out on a vacation together, usually to a lake house a few hours from town. per haechan’s idea, roommates were selected at random, “to spice up the week,” he said.

you saw it at silly but in the past two years, you’ve gotten seulgi and doyoung, who are two of your better friends.

this year however....

“what’s up?” mark says, peaking his head into your assigned room.

you can’t help but gesturely wildly into the room, words refusing to leave you.

you can’t help it. you don’t know mark super well but you do know that his dark hair falls across his face way too nicely as the fading sunlight drifts across his features. the evening light from the window makes him too attractive for his own good.

and your own good, seeing as how you can feel heat rise in your face anytime you see him.

you look back at him to see a confused expression cross his face.

“there’s only one bed!” you sputter, your eyes wide.

“ohh,” he says, as he pulls his suitcase into the doorframe, “well maybe we can switch—“

“no switching!!” you hear haechan yell from across the hall. “it’s in the rules!!”

you want to yell back asking what exactly rules he’s talking about but if you know anything about haechan, he definitely has the lake house rules written down in crayon somewhere in his suitcase. instead, you let out a huff of air.

“it shouldn’t be too bad,” mark says, causing you to gaze back at him, “we can make a pillow wall in the middle, it’ll be okay.”

his hopeful look causes you to slowly nod your head. you head into the shower to get ready for bed. after a day of driving everyone is heading to bed earlier than usual.

when you exit the bathroom, you see mark has chosen the left side of the bed, and tossed two pillows into the middle to create separation.

he smiles at you when you give him a thumbs up, content with his solution.

with all his happy smiles and kind eyes you expect everything will be fine. he takes his turn to shower before settling in next to you. the pillows allow for distance, but as you snuggle into the covers, you are still very aware of the fact that you are sharing a bed with another human.

to be more exact, that human is mark lee.

your heart beats a little faster in your chest at the thought, the noise sounding much louder in the silence of the room. you wonder if he can hear it too.

“sweet dreams, y/n,” you hear mark say.

you whisper a goodnight back to him, trying to urge yourself to fall asleep.

~~~

you wake with a start at some point in the night. you’re warm, you realize, too warm.

as you shake yourself of grogginess, you become aware of the sound of birds outside signaling dawn is upon you. you also become aware of the arms that tightly embrace you.

immediately you are wide awake, shifting your head slightly to see mark sleeping soundly so his arms entangled around you.

for a moment panic sets in, wondering what the hell is going on, before you understand that during the night the pillows shifted, and somehow mark ended up next to you.

if you thought your heart was beating wildly last night, you were sorely mistaken. you decide it would probably be best to untangle mark and create some distance before he wakes up. the embarrassment that moment would create would be too much to handle so early in the morning.

you shift slightly, placing your hands on his hands that hold securely to your torso. you assumed this would cause him to jerk away, but he only tightens his grip slightly.

“mmm,” he hums, burying his face into your hair.

for a moment you wonder if he’s dreaming. who he’s dreaming about. a shiver of jealously runs through you before you argue with yourself that you have nothing to be jealous over.

your moment of curiosity is broken as he wiggles himself impossibly closer, breathing out a whisper of your name along with it.

“mark?” you can’t help but ask, your eyes widened from the mention of your name.

he jolts awake, blinking confusedly for a moment before he realizes where he is. who he’s holding.

“oh!” he exclaims as he lets go of you.

the two of you sit up, collecting your bearings and avoiding the tension that plagues the cool morning air.

mark is the first one to speak, “i’m so sorry, y/n, sometimes i move around in my sleep and i guess i moved the pillows and cuddled into you....” he pauses when he realizes the words coming out of his mouth, “i didn’t mean to, i swear, i’m sorry if i made you uncomfy, did i say anything? sometimes i talk in my sleep....” he rambles on.

you reach over, laying a hand on his arm to stop him, “it’s okay, i promise. i was just surprised is all.”

some of his worry dissipates from his face, but he still asks, “and i didn’t say anything, did i?”

you weren’t going to mention the fact that he had muttered your name in his sleep but the look on your face betrays you, so you tell him.

“oh my god, i’m sorry!” he spills out, “i knew haechan putting us together would be bad, it ruined everything, i had it all planned out....” he rambles on, “it was so stupid to tell him! i should’ve known he would meddle!”

mark’s little stumbling rant continues but you catch a few things, and you can’t help but wonder if it all means what you think it does.

slowly, you crawl across the bed so you are face to face with mark. he freezes with you so close, his gaze intent as he looks at you.

maybe it was the early morning drowsiness or the bits of boldness from mark in the past few months but you slowly lean in, trailing a hand across his cheek.

“do you like me mark?” you ask in a whisper, impossibly close.

his mouth opens to say something but nothing comes out.

“please say yes,” you whisper, and at that he nods, letting his eyes close as you let your lips sink into his.

it’s a soft kiss, a good kind of first kiss in the early morning light, leaving you both smiling like fools at each other. he wraps an arm around you, pulling him into his chest as he brings the covers up over the two of you.

you both snooze for a while, enjoying the soft morning and the presence of each other’s company before your peace is broken by the opening of your door.

in typical haechan style, he never lets you or mark forget that he helped in bringing the two of you together, replaying the story for many summers to come.

[bijvoorbeeldja]

HERE SHE IS

The full enemies-to-lovers, “You’ve Got Mail” Sobbe AU, sprinkled with a few little surprises ***

I was NOT playin around when I said I was going to write ALL the fics during this quarantine y’all ain’t ready

Hope you enjoy! <3 I’d love to know what you think (even if you hate it)

……

Robbe’s phone buzzed on his nightstand.

earthlingoddity: good morning

He smiled into the screen, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

sterkerdanijzer: already awake?

earthlingoddity: yep

earthlingoddity: had some early morning inspiration

sterkerdanijzer: r u gonna let me see what you drew this time?

earthlingoddity: nope

earthlingoddity: against the rules

Robbe sighed, shaking his head.

Rolling out of bed, he contemplated what to type in response. This back-and-forth had been going on for months now, always coming back to this: the rules.

Clearly, they could text all they wanted. But that was it: just text. No voices, no photos showing their faces, locations, or anything else personal. Like drawings, for example. Nothing personal.

But really, everything they had been doing, all they had been talking about, felt personal to Robbe.

Screw the rules, Robbe thought. Even just through texts, he’d gotten closer to this person than anyone else in his life. Their conversations often started at dawn and spread throughout the day, lingering into the night until one of them fell asleep.

Of course, he’d agreed to the rules at the beginning. Hell, he’d made them. It was just talking, nothing else. But the more they talked, the more he wanted.

….

In a weird turn of events, Robbe had met Earthling in the comments of an Antwerp street art Tumblr, where teenagers flocked to share and comment on their latest masterpieces. Masked by alias handles, no one involved in the group knew the identities of the others. When they met up to tag at a location, everyone wore masks, hoodies, and dark clothes. Then they rehashed their work online, sharing photos and comments before planning their next meetup.

Robbe, using his disguised handle, had commented on a photo, when a stranger named earthlingoddity had commented back. Robbe had laughed and responded. The two passed banter back and forth before finally moving to DMs.

earthlingoddity: so you’re an artist, then the stranger had written him.

sterkerdanijzer: no, definitely not

sterkerdanijzer: I’m just in it for the vandalism

earthlingoddity: Hahahaha fair enough

earthlingoddity: u live in antwerp tho right?

sterkerdanijzer: pretty sure we’re not supposed to share details, STRANGER

earthlingoddity: ;-)

earthlingoddity: youre right. but i mean, we are talking now. and we’ve probably already seen each other

sterkerdanijzer: yeah maybe

earthlingoddity: I probably would have recognized a vandal tho…

sterkerdanijzer: not a chance. you’re probably one of those uppity art hoes who makes his masterpiece and doesn’t even acknowledge the little people

earthlingoddity: so you’re short then

sterkerdanijzer: enough! no personal details

Earthlingoddity: ok, so no names, no locations, no personal details. Any other rules?

sterkerdanijzer: uhm

sterkerdanijzer: no phone calls. And NO pics of your artwork. I might recognize it 

Earthlingoddity: so definitely no dick pics, then

Robbe had nearly choked at this. Even though their chatting had started as nearly nothing, it had rapidly become...something.  At least for Robbe. The past few weeks, their conversations had grown from occasional back-and-forths to constant communication, nearly-endless banter, and then...not-so-subtle flirting. Whatever was going on with this stranger, Robbe couldn’t bear to lose it. 

…..

Once he was finally ready for school that day, Robbe grabbed his skateboard and headed out to the street. Before mounting his board on the sidewalk, he opened his last chat with Earthling, trying to muster the courage to send him the message he’d been wanting to for days.

sterkerdanijzer: what if we said screw the rules….and met up? Like IRL?

Robbe’s fingers hovered over the keys, trying to gather the courage to hit send. It was stupid, he knew, but he was so terrified of scaring this stranger away. For reasons he didn’t fully understand yet, he needed him. Assuming it was, in fact, a him. I guess it was bold of him to assume Earthling was a boy. And gay. He took a breath and kicked off, starting to roll down the street. 

Then, out of nowhere, he was crashing, thrust back off his board and onto the ground as he collided with something. Or better, someone. 

Ugh, he groaned. Slowly rising up, he grabbed his phone and bag, which had been expelled violently from the impact. 

“What the hell, Robin?” the boy said, picking himself back up off the sidewalk where he’d fallen. “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?! Do you even know how to ride that thing?”

Brushing the dirt off his hands, he looked up, already feeling stiff aches form in his joints from the fall. Looking up, he groaned again.

Of course, it was Sander Driesen. He should have known immediately. No one else had the nerve to call him Robin.

Robbe rolled his eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t be meandering in the middle of the sidewalk,” he threw back. “Pick a side and stay out of the way of people who actually need to get somewhere.”

Sander scoffed, dusting himself off and grabbing his bag, rearranging the now-disorderly contents inside. “Right, I forgot. You’ll be late for class,” he said, the words dripping with disdain. “Ahh, to be young and only concerned with high school drama.” 

Oh, how Robbe hated Sander Driesen. 

Clad head-to-toe in black, with a noisy leather jacket, combat boots and a shock of (badly) bleached-blonde hair, he was a walking cliche. 

The two had grown up together, coexisting side by side in school and social circles. But the two could not be more different. Because of this, their relationship didn’t amount to much more than swapped insults in passing, tense confrontations, and merciless teasing. Now that Sander had graduated high school, their interactions were fewer. But for Robbe, that was still too often. 

“So tell me, O Wise One,” Robbe  shot back. “If you’re so above all of us children, why are you still dating Britt? She’s not too ‘high school drama’ for you?”

Sander grimaced. “I’m not with Britt,” he said, almost clenching his teeth.

“Right, whatever,” Robbe said, ready for this encounter to be way past over. “I don’t give a damn about your personal life. In fact, I don’t give a damn about anything involving you. I have to go.”

He turned to leave, realizing he skateboard was still on the ground, rolled out of his reach, an end tucked under the heel of Sander’s boot. He smirked at Robbe. 

“Oh, right. Your toy.” Sander rolled it back to Robbe, staring him down with an obnoxious smile. “See you around...Robin.”

Robbe grabbed his board and walked off in a huff, flipping Sander off as he passed. “Screw you, Sander.”

Rounding the corner, he stopped to steady his breathing. Why must his day be tainted with the influence of that fake blonde, edgy wannabe pyscho? Inhaling deep and taking advantage of his high tide of emotions, he pulled out his phone again, returning to his chat with Earthling. Do it, he told himself. Do it before you lose your nerve. Typing fast, he wrote:

Sterkerdanijzer: what if we said screw the rules….and met up? Like IRL?

He hit Send, waiting breathlessly.

Within seconds, three dots appeared. Earthling was typing.

……

The music was blaring, thumping against Robbe’s heartbeat. The crowd at the party was so thick that he was pressed up against Jens and Aaron, their combined heat making him slightly nauseous. 

But all he could focus on was the neon glow of the screen in front of him, and in his mind running over and over the words Earthling had texted him hours earlier: Earthlingoddity: probably not a good idea.

Robbe had stared at it again and again, feeling that same nosedive in his stomach as he had when he first got it that morning on the street. He didn’t want to meet Robbe. So all of it had been...nothing after all. Deep down he’d known that. It was just talking. But it still felt like rejection. How could he so intensely have misread their connection? Even virtually, Robbe had felt the magnitude of it. Or so he’d thought. 

All of this considered, he hadn’t been a very good wingman for his friends tonight. They’d dragged him to this party at Noor’s, scanning the room intently, looking for girls to pursue. Robbe just stood by, slumped and sipping lukewarm beer that just made his stomach turn.

Earthlingoddity: probably not a good idea he read again. Ugh. He was going to be torturing himself all night.

“Dude,” Jens elbowed him suddenly, or maybe just shifted, their proximity making it impossible to tell. “Dude, ten o’clock. That guy is totally checking you out.”

Robbe scoffed, not even bothering to look up. Gay guys at this party? He doubted it. 

“Seriously, Robbe,” Jens pushed again. “He’s definitely staring. And he’s actually pretty hot.” 

“Yep, totally,” Aaron agreed, nodding as he took a swig of his beer. “Definitely your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” Robbe sighed, finally tucking his phone back in his pocket and looking up. Shifting his gaze to his left, he looked in the direction the boys had indicated, trying to find a pair of eyes seeking his.

Whoa. Okay, so he was pretty hot.

Tall with messy brown hair, a boy with blue eyes was meeting his gaze. When the corners of the boy’s lips lifted in a smile, Robbe blushed, looking down. Now he looked desperate. Super.

“Go get another beer,” Jens said, shoving him forward. “See if he follows you. And act cool!”

“What? I—” Robbe protested, but the two were now pushing him together, forcing a parting of the crowd in front of them. 

Robbe swallowed, palms starting to sweat. He wove slowly through groups and couples dancing, making his way to the kitchen. Inside he sought out more drinks among the counter full of bottles and cups. It only took a few moments before he heard it.

“Hey,” the voice behind him said, deep and raspy. 

Robbe turned slowly, trying to swallow the dryness from his throat. The tall boy stood behind him, his beer dangling from two fingers. He leaned down to Robbe, putting his mouth close to his ear. 

“I’m Nathan,” he leaned back again to look Robbe in the eyes. 

“Uhm,” Robbe stammered. “I’m Rob-Robbe.”

“Hi, Robbe,” Nathan said, smiling. “Do you dance?” He took a step forward, dangerously close.

“Not if I can help it,” Robbe laughed nervously. The boy laughed too, revealing a set of perfectly white teeth and dimples. Robbe wiped a hand across his mouth, worried he was drooling now.

“Maybe another drink, then?” the boy asked. Robbe just nodded.

Nathan smiled and reached around to the counter, searching through the bottles. When he finally found an unopened one, he popped off the top easily, making Robbe’s stomach flip. So hot.  

Nathan handed it to Robbe, smiling. As Robbe took it, their fingertips brushed together. Robbe looked down, blushing. Then, again, the boy’s face was leaning down. They were cheek to cheek. 

“Want to get out of here?” he whispered, sending a wave of goosebumps down Robbe’s arm and spine. With a small nod, Nathan grabbed Robbe’s hand, leading him through the crowd.

…..

Outside, the air was much cooler, and Robbe felt like he could breathe again. The music blared from the door of the apartment building onto the street, but now it was just a dull throb instead of a deafening pulse.

Deep inhales of the outside air made his head feel lighter, his thoughts clearer...that is, until Nathan would brush his arm. Then he felt fuzzy again. With one arm leaning against the brick of the building, the other was casually touching Robbe’s every few minutes and Robbe could feel his knees going weak.

They had been talking for almost forty-five minutes and Robbe forgot how nice it was to talk intimately with someone he could actually be face to face with. Why had he even been bothering with Earthling? Clearly, that was going nowhere. Nathan, on the other hand, had potential. He was interesting, asking Robbe about his life and sharing details about his own. They talked easily, their touches getting progressively more frequent. Then, Nathan went silent, his gaze flicking down to Robbe’s lips. Robbe’s stomach was fluttering, licking his lips in anticipation. Nathan was leaning in, the hand against the brick sliding down to Robbe’s waist….

“Well, well well,” a loud voice behind him announced, breaking violently through their moment, causing the two to pull apart quickly. “If it isn’t my pal, Robin!” 

Sander Driesen, in dark jeans and a white t-shirt, appeared next to Robbe, followed by Britt in tow. He looked from Robbe to Nathan, smiling widely. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Robbe muttered under his breath. Nathan looked confused, glancing from Robbe to the bleached-blonde boy.

“Robin?” he asked, biting his lip in bewilderment.

“Ignore him,” Robbe said, grabbing his shoulder. “C’mon.” 

“Aren’t you going to introduce me, Robin?” Sander replied, cocking his head and raising his eyebrows at Robbe. 

Robbe groaned. “Seriously, Sander,” he said, “Not now.”

“Oh, c’mon, buddy,” he gave Robbe’s shoulder a soft punch. “Introduce me to your friend,” the last work thick with implication.

Robbe rolled his eyes as Sander stuck a hand out to Nathan, who took it with a polite smile.

“I’m Sander,” the boy said. “Robbe and I….well, let’s just say we have a looooong history.”

Robbe glared at Sander. “We’re going now.”

As he was leading Nathan back down the street, Sander called out again, louder.

“We didn’t mean to interrupt the moment, love birds,” he said, smirking. “Carry on!” With a chuckle, Sander threw an arm around Britt’s waist and walked into the apartment.

A few feet down the sidewalk Nathan turned to Robbe. “Who was that?

“Nobody,” Robbe answered quickly, trying to turn the conversation anywhere but on Sander. 

“It didn’t seem like nobody,” Nathan said quietly, rubbing a hand through his hair.  “Is he...an old boyfriend, or something?”

“What?!” Robbe near-shouted, stopping to look right at Nathan. “No. No. Not even close. He drives me crazy.”

Nathan bit his lip. “Look, Robbe. I should probably get going.”

“What?” Robbe said, his face dropping. “Because of him? You can’t be serious—”

“I was probably moving too quickly,” Nathan said slowly. “I’m sorry.” He gave Robbe a quick kiss on the cheek and walked away, turning the corner out of view. 

…..

Robbe didn’t care who was spilling drinks or getting their feet stepped on. Plowing through the crowd with his elbows, he found his way into the party and back to Jens and Aaron, who were in the middle of telling a story to two girls bearing plastic cups and bored expressions.

“Uhm, hey guys?” Robbe said, tapping Jens on the shoulder. “I’m going to take off.” Jens turned, quickly motioning a be right back to the girls, who nodded vaguely. 

“Wait, what happened with the guy?’ Jens asked eagerly. “Are you going to his place?”

Robbe frowned. “No. It didn’t exactly...work out.”

“Sorry, man,” Aaron said, slapping Robbe’s shoulder. “Want us to come with?”

Robbe shook his head. “Nah, you guys stay. I’m going to call it a night anyway.”

Finishing his goodbyes, Robbe ditched his bottle and stepped back out in the night air, now considerably cooler. Finding his bike, he started unlocking the lock when a voice behind him again shook him out of his thoughts.

“Headed home already?” Sander. Again.

Robbe whipped around on him, finding him alone this time. 

“Seriously, Sander? Can you please just leave me alone?” Robbe said, almost whining now. “You already managed to ruin this night for me once.”

This sobered Sander a little, who swallowed and took a step forward.

“Robbe, I—”

“No, I mean it, Sander. Go back to Britt, who’s apparently not your ‘girlfriend,’” Robbe did air quotes, making Sander clench his teeth again, “and leave me the hell alone.”

There was silence for a moment before Sander spoke.

“I’m sorry, Robbe.”  

Robbe shook his head and turned back to his bike lock.

“I was doing you a favor, okay?” Sander spoke, his voice insistent. “That guy seemed like a real douche.” Robbe scoffed. Seriously? 

“I mean, did you see his hair?” Sander continued. “Total poser.”

Robbe laughed to himself. “Yeah, like you’re one to talk,” he mumbled back at Sander.

Sander smiled at this. “Touche.” 

Robbe had his bike unlocked now and he started to wheel it down the street. 

“See you around, Robbe.” Sander called out.

“Yeah, don’t count on it,” Robbe replied.

As he mounted his bike, his phone vibrated. A message.

Earthlingoddity: You know what, forget what I said. Screw the rules. Let’s meet. When? Where?

………

Robbe didn’t respond to Earthling’s message for several days. When he did, he wanted to come off cool, casual. He drafted and redrafted the same message in a hundred different ways. Finally, he sent back:

Sterkerdanijzer: Yeah, okay. I guess we can. I can do Friday at 18h. Drinks at Jardim Antwerpen?

He got a reply almost immediately.

Earthlingoddity: Absolutely. I’ll be there. Without a mask ;-) 

So there he was, sitting at a table watching the sun go down, turning a near-empty glass in his hands over and over again in his hands. Even with the condensation from the glass, Robbe’s palms were clammy. He was so nervous he had to occasionally reach down to calm his shaking legs. 

Milan had helped him pick out an outfit, a white linen button up and jeans. Zoe had mussed his hair until she insisted it was “perfect.” But he just felt ridiculous. Why was he even doing this? If he’d learned anything from the past few weeks, it was that he knew nothing. And he was probably going to be single forever. And for all he knew, Earthling would turn out to be a serial killer. 

At 18h15, Robbe started to get antsy. He messaged the boy:

Sterkerdanijzer: I’m here. White shirt, brown hair. U close?

But he got no response. He bit his lip anxiously, checking his phone constantly. At 18h45, after he had downed one more drink than he should have, he got up. Leaving a tip on the table, he shoved his phone in his pocket and headed to leave. This was a ridiculous idea, he scolded himself. So stupid. Of course he wouldn’t show.

As he neared the exit, he saw a flash of white in his peripheral. Turning, he saw a boy sitting at a table alone, phone in his hand. Sander.

As if he’d spoken his name out loud, Sander looked up, green eyes glowing. He smirked. “Small world,” he called out to Robbe. “What are you doing here?”

Robbe glared at him. “None of your business. What are you doing here?”

Sander just looked at him for a minute. “I’m, uh...waiting for Britt. She’s supposed to be here soon. Were you waiting for a date?” His knowing smile made Robbe’s insides twist. 

“Right,” Robbe said, nodding. “Well, I’m going to…” he turned again to leave.

“Uhm, actually, Robbe?” he called out. Robbe turned back slightly. What was he going to say now?

“Do you think I could borrow your phone to text Britt? Mine is dead.”

Robbe hesitated. Gone from Sander’s tone was any hint of teasing. He sounded genuine. He sounded desperate, almost. 

“Yeah, fine,” Robbe seceded, walking over to Sander’s table and handing over his phone. 

“Thanks,” Sander said, giving Robbe a small smile as he met his gaze. 

Robbe stood there as Sander typed, concentrating hard on the screen. Waiting, he glanced around again. No sign of anybody new. No sign of anybody looking for him. He was so stupid. 

“So, were you supposed to meet Nathan here?” Sander asked, not looking up as he continued to type.

“Why do you care?” Robbe asked.

Sander looked up. “I’m just making conversation. I hope it wasn’t him, though. You could do better.”

Robbe scoffed. “Okay, thanks for the tip, Sander.” He turned away again. ‘Cause Sander cared SO much about him. Right.

Then Sander stood, downing the rest of his drink. “Look like she’s not coming.” But as he handed Robbe back his phone, he didn’t look sad. He was smiling. Walking toward the exit, he turned back toward Robbe. 

“You coming?” Sander asked.

“What, me?” Robbe asked incredulously.

“Uh, yeah you, Robin,” Sander laughed. “Let’s go.” Walking away again, Robbe stood there, mouth open. 

“Come!” Sander’s voice reached Robbe again. He was probably too drunk to think straight because next thing he knew, he was following Sander’s silhouette into the sunset. 

…..

“Sander, you cannot be serious,” Robbe stood obstinately away from the door, shaking his head at the boy, who was jiggling with the lock on a door, labeled boldly with a “No Trespassing” sign. “I assumed your plans were more drinks, not jail.”

Sander kept his hands on the door handle, but turned to face Robbe, a teasing grin on his face.

“Would you chill? We’re not getting arrested. I’ve done this a hundred times.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that makes me feel better,” Robbe retorted. 

Sander just laughed and continued jiggling until click. The door squeaked open. He turned and raised his eyebrows at Robbe. “Come.”

Robbe shook his head again. He could not believe this. Not only was Sander trying to ruin his social life, he was trying to get him arrested. But Sander had disappeared behind the door, and finally, reluctantly, Robbe followed behind him.

Illuminating the stairs inside with the light on his phone, Sander led Robbe to the top, where he held his hands out in a ta-da! motion, so clearly pleased with this reveal. 

Reaching the top and taking in the scene, Robbe’s jaw dropped. A large, open-air pool laid out before him, neon blue water rippling with the cold wind.

“No,” Robbe started, his voice escalating. “Sander, no. We are not—”

But Sander was starting to shrug out of his jacket, then reaching down to undo the laces of his boots. 

“C’mon,” he whisper-yelled. “We’re doing this!”

“You’re insane!” Robbe yelled. “There’s no way I’m getting in that pool. We will die!”

Sander laughed as he lifted his shirt over his head. “We will not die, Robbe. Just come!”  

Robbe just stood there in disbelief as Sander kept shedding clothes, not stopping at his briefs. In a blink of an eye, he was completely naked and running towards the pool, jumping in with a yelp.

Robbe’s jaw dropped. Sander was actually insane. And was his skin always that golden? And did he have abs?

Emerging from the water with a screech, Sander called out again. 

“Robbe, come! It’s amazing in here!”

“No,” Robbe said defiantly. “No way.”

“You’re missing out, Robin,” he called out to him in a sing-song voice.

Robbe shook his head. “It’s freezing cold!”

“Yeah, it’s freezing cold,” Sander said. “But you have to do it. Get in! Now!”

Treading water, the light from the pool making his blonde hair glow neon, Sander waited for him, smiling.

Before he could think, Robbe started unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it on the concrete. Stepping out of his jeans, he watched Sander’s eyes roam across his bare chest. He swallowed hard.

Down to his underwear, Robbe started toward the pool, berating himself for giving into the demands of a pretentious — but weirdly captivating — boy. 

Okay, that was clearly the alcohol talking, he thought, shaking the idea from his head. 

“Hey, hey!” Sander yelled, stopping Robbe in his tracks. “All the way or no way.”

Robbe balked at him. Was he serious? He exhaled, biting his lip. Reaching down, he stripped off his underwear, now completely bare in front of Sander Driesen. He was going to regret this. But for now, he jumped into the pool.

He had been right. It was freezing. Easily the coldest water he’d ever felt. When his head exited the water, he yelped. 

“Oh. My. God.” he squealed, teeth chattering. “I am going to kill you, Sander!” He splashed around violently, trying to keep his limbs from going numb. 

“Dude, can you even swim?” Sander yelled, laughing.

Robbe splashed water Sander’s way. “Are you kidding? I can swim better than you any day!”

“Was that a challenge?” Sander quipped, circling around Robbe. 

“Well, yeah, I think it was!” Robbe answered. “You scared Driesen?” 

Sander smiled at him. “You’re on, Robin! First one to that opposite side of the pool wins! On three!”

“One….” Robbe started.

“Two….” Sander echoed.

“Three!” They yelled in unison, taking off for the pool’s edge. 

Robbe stroked, gasping deeply as he tried to find his stride. He was not going to let Sander beat him, no matter how drunk he was.

But when he reached the ledge, cheering in victory, he couldn’t see Sander. He wiped the water from his eyes, and looked beneath the water for Sander. He couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Sander?” He called out. “I totally kicked your ass!”

Still, nothing. Now, Robbe was starting to panic.

“Sander?!” His yelled, desperation creeping into his voice. He was about to call out again when Sander popped out of the water directly in front of him, so close, stealing Robbe’s breath and pinning him against the ledge.

“Sander, what the hell? What are you—” Robbe started, but before he could finish, Sander grasped the ledge behind Robbe, covering his body with his. Robbe felt Sander’s chest rise and fall against his as he tried to catch his breath.

“You won, Robin,” Sander spoke deeply. 

Then, he was kissing Robbe, keeping one hand on the ledge, the other sliding down to Robbe’s waist, holding him in place. Sander’s hand was firm, making Robbe melt beneath him. Robbe reached back a hand to hold himself to the ledge and the other found the nape of Sander’s neck. Using his fingers, he pulled Sander towards him, then let those fingers tangle themselves in Sander’s hair. Feeling his pull, Sander kissed Robbe deeper, grasping at any part of Robbe’s mouth he could find, sliding down to his jaw and his neck, sucking the skin there. Whining, Robbe’s eyes rolled back. Sander found lips again, tugging on them gently. Robbe licked the soft skin of Sander’s lips and heard a gentle moan escape the boy’s throat. It was happening so fast. Their limbs and breath were tangling, mixing together in explosive energy that made them both weak. 

He was kissing Sander Driesen. He was kissing Sander Driesen. When these words came together and made sense in his mind, he startled, shoving Sander off of him. 

“What are we doing?” Robbe spoke, trying to catch his breath. “What are we doing?! This isn’t….we’re, we’re drunk!” His voice was rising, filling with disbelief and exasperation.

“Robbe, I—” Sander said, water dripping off his golden skin, tempting Robbe more than he wanted to admit. He approached Robbe again slowly. 

“No, no,” Robbe said, reaching for the ledge and hefting himself out of the water. “This was a huge mistake. I’m drunk. We’re drunk. We shouldn’t have—”

“Robbe, wait!” Sander called, swimming towards the ledge and following Robbe out.

Robbe ran and gathered his clothes. “I have to go, Sander. Let me go.” 

Sander stopped, a look of confusion and hurt painting his face. “Robbe, don’t….”

Robbe spun on him, his voice rising. “Don’t follow me, Sander. And don’t you dare tell anyone about this. Swear it.”  

Sander just looked at him, lifting up his hands in submission. “I’m sorry, I swear I won’t—”     

Then Robbe ran down the stairs, struggling to pull his clothes on over his soaking-wet body as he left Sander behind him.

……

Robbe had hoped that when he woke up, the whole night would have been a dream. A ridiculous dream that would have made him blush...and probably need to take a cold shower. But still, a dream. A dream he could forget about. But the pile of wet clothes on the floor and phone full of messages from Sander proved otherwise. He groaned, aching from the memory and the hangover. 

His phone vibrated again and exasperated, he turned to silence it when he saw it — a message not from Sander, but from Earthling. 

Earthlingoddity: Hey��.I know that there is probably nothing I can say to you right now that will make up for what I did last night. I didn’t mean to stand you up. I promise. Something just...came up and I couldn’t make it. I promise it wasn’t you, okay. Please, please forgive me? 

Robbe just stared at the message. As he did, another message from Sander came. 

Sander: Robbe, please answer me. I’m sorry about last night. Can we please talk, face-to-face?

Robbe rubbed his face. What was he going to say to either of these people? Why was everything such a mess?

Kissing Sander last night...that had been the biggest shock to his system. Sander hated him. He hated Sander. That was their relationship. But in an ice-cold pool they’d entered some alternate universe and crossed a line. They were drunk. That was it. Right?

Robbe went back to the message from Earthling. Typing slowly, he sent:

Sterkerdanijzer: you were right. We should have never agreed to meet.

He got a response back almost immediately.

Earthlingoddity: No! No, it wasn’t a mistake. We should meet. I promise, something just came up that I couldn’t say no to. I want to meet you so bad. Please, can you give me another chance? I’ll do anything.

Robbe closed the message. Not now.

Taking another deep breath, he opened Sander’s message. 

Robbe: Fine, we can talk. Come to my house in an hour.

Sander: I’ll be there. 

……

After Robbe had showered and straightened up his room, he took a deep breath. He had no idea how he was going to survive this interaction with Sander, after all that had happened between them. They’d kissed. ALOT. They’d been naked, for heaven’s sake. Robbe groaned, flopping back down on his bed. What was happening to him? The world was turning upside down.

With that, there was a knock on the door. He could hear Jens shuffling to get it, but he raced to the door, sliding past Jens. 

“I got it, I got it.” 

Jens just looked at him, yawning. “What the hell?”

“It’s...it’s uhm...for me. I’ll get it.”

Jens stared blankly. “You’re being weird.” But he just went off towards the kitchen, yawning again.

Taking a breath, Robbe opened the door. 

Sander stood there, his hair also wet, clearly brushed into submission. He had on a cream-colored sweater, which shocked Robbe. He looked good. 

“Robbe. Hey.” He smiled, taking a deep breath.

Robbe just stood there, unsure of what to say.

Sander smiled again. “Soooo….can I come in or….?”

“Oh, right. Yeah, come in.” Robbe opened the door wider so Sander could enter. 

Glancing towards the kitchen, where Jens was making coffee, glasses clinking, he motioned to the hallway. 

“Let’s go to my room and talk,” Robbe spoke quietly.

“Sure, yeah,” Sander nodded. “Lead the way.”

Robbe walked hesitantly toward his room, opening the door for Sander. He entered, looking around. 

“Nice place,” he commented, looking at Robbe with a wink. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Robbe smiled, feeling flushed all of the sudden.

Sander went and sat on the edge of the bed. Robbe followed.

Sander cleared his throat. “So, I know what happened last night surprised you. I know it surprised me.” He smiled to himself. “I just wanted to say that….I’m not sorry.”

“What?” Robbe looked up at him, confused.

Sander was firm, sure. “I said, I’m not sorry. For what happened. For kissing you.”

“You’re….not sorry….” Robbe repeated slowly, trying to understand.

“I wanted to kiss you and I did. And I don’t regret it. I know we were drunk, but I think you wanted to kiss me, too.”

Robbe felt heat rise to his cheeks. He spoke quietly. “Sander…it doesn’t make sense. We don’t make sense. At all. We are at each other’s throats constantly.”

“So what?” Sander asked, laughing. “Maybe what we thought was hate was just passion.”

“Passion?” Robbe choked. “Passion? We can’t stand each other! We drive each other completely crazy!”

“Well,” Sander began, biting his lip. “That, I guess, is true. You do drive me crazy. But not for the reasons you think.”

What? 

“Sander, what are you—” but Robbe stopped as Sander turned towards him, sliding a hand to cup his jaw. 

“You do drive me completely insane, Robbe,” he said gently. “But in a way I want to feel all the time. That kiss was….” he put his hands together over his head, imitating a mind-blown gesture, “pppppffffffeeeewww.”

Robbe’s lips were curling up in a smile he couldn’t hide. He felt warm. But something nagged at him.

“Sander, I can’t do this,” he admitted quickly, before he could stop himself. “I know this sounds silly and stupid, but….there’s someone else.”

Sander sat back. “Who, Nathan?”

Robbe shook his head. “No, not Nathan. You ruined that one, remember?” He slugged Sander’s arm.

“No, it’s….” Robbe put his head down, embarrassed. “It’s someone I don’t even actually know.” He covered his face in his hands. “I know, it’s so stupid. But I think I really care about this person.”

To Robbe’s surprise, Sander didn’t laugh. Or come up with some stupid insult. Or even seem surprised by his revelation at all. 

“Okay,” he began. “So, who is he? Where did you meet him?” 

“Well,” Robbe said, blushing again. “We met online. On a stupid street art blog. We talk through DMs all day, everyday. Yesterday, when we ran into each other, I was waiting for him. We were supposed to meet each other for the first time in person. But….he stood me up.”

“Hmmm,” Sander sounded. “Sounds like a real asshole.”

Robbe laughed. “He’s not, though! Sure, I was devastated that he ditched me...and then, we kissed...and, everything is just a mess.” He fell back on the bed again, hands over his face.

Sander was silent for a minute. “So did he apologize? For last night?”

Robbe sat up slightly. “Well, yeah. He messaged me again saying he was sorry, and that it wasn’t me.”

“So?” Sander asked, probing for more. 

“So what?” Robbe asked.

“So, what are you going to say? Are you going to forgive him?” Sander asked.

“Well...I don’t know,” Robbe admitted. “I want to. You’re going to insult me mercilessly for the rest of time for saying this, but...I think Earthling is my soulmate.”

Sander grinned. “I’m sorry, who?”

Robbe laughed, embarrassed again. 

“Earthlingoddity, it’s his handle. I just call him Earthling.”

Sander looked down at his lap, biting his lip to hide a grin.

“I knew you would make fun of me!” Robbe shoved Sander. “I knew it!”

“No!” Sander held his hands up innocently. “I’m not making fun of you! I think it’s cute. I mean, it’s a Bowie reference, he’s obviously got good taste.”

Robbe smiled. “Yeah, he does,” he said.

“So,” Sander continued. “If you think this guy is your soulmate, I think you should talk to him. Give him another chance.”

“What should I say?” Robbe asked. “Do I ask him to meet up again?”

Sander thought for a minute. “I think you need to give him an ultimatum. His last chance.”

“An ultimatum?” Robbe asked.

“Yep.” Sander said, scooting to sit cross-legged on the bed. “Take out your phone.”

“What, now?” Robbe asked incredulously. 

“Yes, now!” Sander said firmly. “C’mon. Get your phone.”

Robbe shook his head. Of course, his rival, the guy he’d made out with last night, was now helping him attempt to snag a man. He officially understood nothing.

Taking out his phone, he pulled up Earthling’s message. 

“So what do I say?” He looked at Sander.

“Just say….” Sander began, looking off in thought. “You hurt me yesterday. This is your one chance to make it up to me. Meet me tonight or we’re done with this. No more talking, no more messages. This is it. Your last chance” Damn. Looking at Sander once more, he typed it out. Taking a deep breath, he hit Send.

“Oh no, oh no, I sent it. What now. What if he doesn’t answer? What if he thinks I’m desperate?” Robbe rattled off, starting to hyperventilate.

Then, Sander’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out. 

“Sorry, hold on a sec,” he said. “I gotta respond to this.”

“Sander!” Robbe whined. “Focus! I need you! If he responds, you have to help me!”

“Don’t worry. Robin,” Sander said with a smirk. “He will. And I will.”

Sander typed quickly, then put his phone back down on the bed. He was hiding another smirk.

Robbe glared at him. “Sander! Are you texting Britt right now? Should I remind you that we’re focusing on me right now? Or should I remind you that you kissed me last night? What is wrong with you?!”

Sander shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t texting Britt, Robbe, calm down.” 

But Robbe ignored this as his phone buzzed again.

“Oh my god, okay, it’s him,” he cleared his throat. “This is what he said.” 

Now, Sander was laughing. Loudly. 

“Sander!” Robbe whined again.

Sander tried to stifle a laugh with his palm. “Okay,” he tried to turn the laugh into a cough. “Right, I’m focused. Well, what did he say?”

Robbe swiped and opened the message.

“He said...I choose you, Robin. Always, one hundred percent, forever.”

Robbe’s phone fell in his lap as he looked up at Sander. 

“Sander…..what kind of joke are you—”

Sander just shook his head and grinned. “Don’t call me, Sander. From now on, you have to call me Earthling.”   

Then, Sander was crawling over to Robbe, pushing him back down on the bed.

Hovering over him, he spoke gently. 

“When I saw you with Nathan at the party last week, I got jealous. You looked so hot and I knew I was starting to want you. It scared me. I knew you hated me. But I did. I wanted you. Trust me, Britt and I aren’t together. I just wanted to make you jealous. And that obviously backfired,” he said, laughing.

He continued to Robbe’s breathless stare. “Then I found out it was you I had been messaging when I borrowed your phone at the bar yesterday,” he said. “I saw the messages I’d sent you as Earthling. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe Robin was the boy I’d been talking to. The boy I’d been falling in love with, online and in real life. I was going to tell you right there, but you were so mad at me and so cute and I couldn’t resist trying to see if I could get you to fall in love with me, too. As Sander. And after that kiss, I knew what we had was real. Whether over text or in a freezing cold pool, it was real.”

Robbe blinked in disbelief. Was he really hearing this? It wasn’t some colossal joke Sander was playing on him? 

“Sander….” he said carefully. “Is that true? Is that really—” but before he could finish, Sander was kissing him again, winding a hand into his hair, immersing him completely, deeply into him.

It was true. 

.....

So, telling their friends about their relationship had been interesting. 

First, Jen had walked in on them, sloshing coffee all over himself when he saw Sander pulling off Robbe’s shirt. That had been a hard one to explain.

But the weirdest part was that no one had really seemed surprised. Sure, Jens was taken back initially, but as they sat in the kitchen sharing coffee (after Robbe had reclaimed his shirt and gotten dressed), Robbe sitting on Sander’s lap, Jens had smiled at them like a proud dad. 

You’re like yin and yang, he’d said. Somehow you two just fit.

And they did. In so many ways. Their minds, their souls, their bodies...

They just fit. 

[maevesdarling]

Take me home tonight - Chapter 2

Wohoo, since I’m finally done with the semester, I found some time to finish the next chapter. It’s pretty emotional, so be prepared. I can’t tell you when the next chapter will come out but I’m planning on having it done by the end of the month so... fingers crossed!

Pairng: Walt Breslin/ Sal Orozco

Warnings: Nightmares, Canon typical violence, mentions of minor character death, blood, character injury, character death (only in a dream tho), PTSD, Beginning of smut (at the end of the chapter)

Walt spend the next two days cleaning the house as best as he could. He fixed the broken door in the guest bedroom, that hadn't been used since he moved into the house, and put new sheets on the old bed, dusting off the furniture and cleaning the windows. He wasn't exactly sure how long Sal wanted to stay and the couch wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep on so the guest bedroom would do.

Then he went and got groceries. Fresh vegetables, some pasta and cheese in case he felt like cooking for Sal and himself.

He knew fixing the entire house in two days was nearly impossible, but when he sat down on the couch on Thursday evening, the dog by his side, Walt was impressed with himself and the work he'd managed to get done in such a short time.

"I know you can get anxious around new people, but I promise this friend of mine we're meeting tomorrow will treat you well, so no barking, you understand me?" Walt asked the dog sternly. Fucking hell, I really should go outside more, I'm talking to a dog. He thought, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

To say he was a nervous wreck was an understatement. His heart was beating so loud, he was sure Sal would be able to hear it all the way from San Francisco or wherever the hell he currently was, and there was a slight tremor in his hands that just wouldn't go away. Even the animals started to notice that something was wrong, the dog wouldn't leave his side and slept at the end of his bed, his one eye constantly following Walt wherever he went, and the chicken flocked together more than usually when he went to feed them. They came up to him, clucking in excitement and when he got up to leave, a few of them always tried coming after him. Only the goats seemed unbothered by his behavior, they sat in their pen, eating grass and occasionally tried to tackle one another.

That night, for the first time in months, Walt had a nightmare.

In his dream, he was back at the airfield.

It's dark and the only source of light is coming from the stars and the distant car headlights behind him. He's panting, his lungs are stinging with every step he takes, the gun in his hand feels light, too light. He's out of bullets.

A shot rings through the air and somewhere behind him, a body falls to the ground, just as Walt reached the safety of the woods. He turns and his heart seems to stop.

The figure lying a few hundred feet from him is Sal.

He's bleeding from his leg. It looks bad, there's already a large pool of blood forming on the grass, he thinks the bullet might hit an artery. There's no way he'd get Sal all the way back to the safehouse with a leg like this and yet, he turns on his heel to get to Sal. Except the bushes around him seem to have come to life, some of the vines have curled around his legs, he tries, he really does, but he can't move.

His finger claw at the vines, the more he rips at them, the stronger they get. His heart is pounding in his ears. A car is approaching, he's gotta hurry!

The gun falls to the ground and gets swallowed up by leaves and roots, yet, Walt is still fighting. He manages to fall and tries to pull himself forward with his arms. He needs to free himself quickly because there's a figure approaching Sal, oh god, he can never make it in time, where the hell was his gun? With one arm, he's searching his pockets for the pack of extra ammunition, with the other, he's frantically pawing at the dirt underneath him to find the gun, only there was none. How could that be?!

He can hear Sal pleading in the distance. This is wrong, his brain tells him. Your brain is just messing with you! Sal made it off the airfield alive, it was Amat who got shot by Calderoni, not him. Only it feels so real!

The sound of a gun makes him flinch, Walt stops in his motion. He feels like he can't breath, like his heart has stopped beating. Sal is lying motionless in the grass, blood, brain and pieces of his skull scattered around him. The figure who shot him comes into view and looks directly at Walt. An identical pair of eyes is staring back at him. He's looking at himself, towering above a lifeless Sal, the gun he used to shoot him still smoking ever so slightly in the light of the car's headlights.

"You did this." He can hear his own voice shout at him. "You killed him. Just like you killed the others because everything you touch dies!"

Walt wakes up with a scream. He yerks off the bed and topples to the floor with a groan. The darkness from his dream has found it's way into the real world. He forgot to pull the blinds shut again and outside the window, clouds have pulled a tight curtain around the full moon that was previously illuminating the sky.

The dog whines and jumps off the bed to check on him, licking his face in a calming motion. "It's alright, bud. Just a bad dream." He mumbles, scratching behind the dogs sand colored ears.

He sits up, noticing that, just like in his dream, he can't move his legs. They're tangled in the bedsheets. He sighs and begins to untangle them before shuffling into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

His throat stings even after he finishes the cup and he contemplates drinking straight from the tab to satisfy his bodies needs, but then he decides against it and refills his empty cup instead. He's leaning against the kitchen counter dressed only in his boxers and a loose fitting t-shirt, his bare feet are stinging from the cold tiles.

He finishes his second cup and makes his way into the bedroom once more. The dog is lying on his previous spot, watching him. The brunette gives him a little pat on the head before slipping under the covers.

Still, sleep won't come to him. Walt is lying in bed, tossing and turning around, yet every time he closes his eyes, the memory of a lifeless Sal lying in a pool of his own blood comes back to him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he can see Danilo standing in the corner of his room, half hidden behind his wardrobe, one half of his face is covered in blood, there's a pitch black hole where his eye used to be. The ghostly silhouette doesn't move, he's just watching him with a pitiful look that is deeply unsettling to Walt. He pinches his eyes closed and tries his best to ignore the horrors his mind has come up with. Thinking instead of all the work he's got to do come morning. In his head he goes over each task. Feed the dog, let the chicken out of their coop, refill their water… After what feels like forever, he falls into a light slumber.

By the time the sun is rising above the old apple trees in his backyard, Walt is long up and sitting in the chicken pen outside, nursing a bottle of beer in his hand. He shouldn't be drinking this early in the morning, yet he can't stop himself either. It's the only way the tremor in his hands will stop.

He's holding one of the hens in his arms, stroking her soft brown feathers while she is making happy noises and turning her head from side to side. He's still shaken up from the night but the fresh air helps him clear his mind. Outside the chicken pen, the dog barks and reminds him that it's time for breakfast. He's not feeling very hungry but gets up to make himself a cup of coffee nevertheless.

Morning comes and goes and he's not really doing anything. There's hardly any noise from outside, almost like the entire farm is holding their breath in anticipation.

He briefly falls asleep on the couch, which isn't a good thing given that his back was just feeling better but he can't blame himself after the night he had.

4pm rolls around and still no Sal. He hasn't eaten anything all day and his stomach is growling, reminding him to take care of himself so he pushes himself off the couch and starts working on a sorry looking sandwich that he eats in front of the tv, there's a telenovela he doesn't pay attention to on.

At around 6pm, just when he's slowly drifting off to sleep again, the sound of a car moving up the gravel path towards the house startles him. The dog jumps up from his bed and sprints over to the door, barking at the intruder.

"It's alright, boy, calm down." He says, gently and yet firmly pushing the dog out of the way to open the door.

A black SUV is parking on the gravel in front of the house, the drivers door is open.

"Walt!" Sal's voice comes from the barn. "There you are… Hi…" Emotions threatened to overcome him. There, standing on the gravel was Sal. He didn't look much different than the last time Walt saw him. He wore a tight, black shirt and an old, worn leather jacket Walt vaguely remembered him wearing before, jeans and some boots. His hair was a bit shorter than usual, he must have had it cut recently, but he still wore the same type of moustache, and he still had the same smile on his face. This was Sal. His Sal, in flesh and blood. He was here.

Suddenly, Walt's throat felt incredibly dry. For the first time, realization kicked in. This was real. His best friend, his partner, his lover, was here.

Before he had the time to even consider if he was going to hug Sal or simply stick out his hand in greeting, Sal had already wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him ever so slightly. Walt was physically unable to breathe. His body was frozen in place. Instantly, Sal pulled away, watching him in concern. "Shit, I- I'm sorry-"

"No… Please, don't say that…" Walt whispered. There was something wet on his face and when he touched it, he realized he was crying. "I missed you so fucking much." He sniffled.

"Walt…" Sal breathed, he looked like he was close to crying as well.

"Let's- let's get inside, okay? Can't have the neighbors seeing me like this." He huffed, furiously wiping his eyes.

The dog was waiting for them by the door, with his tail between his legs he was watching Sal approach. " 's alright buddy." Walt tried calming him down. "Let him sniff your hand, he doesn't like strangers but he doesn't bite I promise."

Doing as he was told, Sal held out his hand for the dog, allowing the sand colored animal to take in his scent. He relaxed a bit but was still a bit uneasy. "Sorry, he'll calm down eventually…" Walt remarked, pushing the front door open and ushering both Sal and the dog inside.

"You want something? A coffee maybe or a beer?"

"Thanks, I'm good." Sal said, taking in the living room. Walt followed his eyes as they landed on the dresser. There was an old snow globe he had found in the attic, a dying plant, a picture frame with a picture of Walt, his brother and their family, on of him fishing on one of the many lakes surrounding the property. The dog was sitting in the boat besides him, they were both facing the camera and even the dog looked like he was smiling. Another, smaller picture showed Sal, sitting inside Walt's old truck. He was wearing sunglasses and leaning against the window, smiling softly into the camera. The warm midday sun illuminated his face and gave the picture a warm look. Walt had taken the picture on one of their many stakeouts and kept it with him through all the years. The picture had deep lines from being bend over the years and one corner was slightly chipped.

The brunette could see Sal's thoughts racing. His eyes wandered from the picture frames to the old couch, and from there back to the dog that was by now standing behind Walt, hiding from the intruder.

"You… This is a really nice house, Walt."

The brunette nodded. Damn, this was awkward, Walt hated the distance between them. The fact that he felt like a stranger was talking to him. This was Sal for fucks sake, the man who knew him best on the entire fucking planet. Who'd seen him at his lowest, and at his highest, his best friend, who went fishing with him, who spend hours teaching Walt how to cook, even if it was just a simple omelette, who made sure that he was taking care of himself. This was the man who shared his bed with him more times than Walt could count. Who held him during the night, whispering sweet nothing into his ear. No amount of time could erase those memories, this was not a stranger, Sal was his home.

"Please-" He started, not really knowing where he was going. Silence fell once more between them. "Where have you been, Sal?"

Sal's shoulders sacked in defeat. It seemed like there was a weight on his chest, pressing him down. He sighed, sitting down heavily on the couch and burying his head in his hands. "It's a long fucking story, Walt."

The older man pulled out a chair from the kitchen and sat down, facing Sal. "We've got some time." He said, instantly feeling guilty for the way his words had come out. He sounded like he was interrogating Sal. "Sorry, I- just tell me what happened… Please?"

Sal nodded, visibly searching for the right words to start. "… Okay… So you remember I was going to San Francisco? I took a job offer and- shit- okay I wasn't honest with you… I told you it was a simple desk job, it wasn't. I was an undercover agent for almost three years."

Walt inhaled sharply, resting the urge to jump from his seat. "W- You didn't tell me?! Sal!"

"Please! I wanted to tell you! I wrote a letter that I planned on sending, but I almost got found out sending it off so I decided not to contact you any more. Walt! Everything I did was trying to protect you! If they'd found out I was an undercover cop, shit I don't care whatever they'd have done to me but they would have hurt you as well and I- I didn't want that to happen. It was so fucking hard, staying away from you, all that time, I- I didn't even knew if you where still alive, if you wanted to ever see me again or if you found someone else-"

Now, Walt did jump up from his chair, fast enough to make the dog whine in discomfort. "You thought I'd replace you with someone else?! Why? Why would I do that? I thought I made it clear that there is no one else for me, I tried, Sal, it didn't work. There's no one I'd want to spend the rest of my life with… Except you…" His voice faltered at the last words as he sunk down on his chair again, the tears from earlier had returned and where running freely down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry." Sal sobbed, his voice sounding like a child that had been scolded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you…"

"What if something had happened to you? You talk about protecting me, but who protected you? What if you'd died? I would have never found out, I would have spend the rest of my life looking for you…"

Wrapping his arms around himself, Sal cast his gaze towards the ground, unable to look at Walt any longer. This was unlike anything Walt had ever seen his partner. Sal was usually the emotionally stable one, the strong one, the optimist, who picked up the pieces when Walt shattered internally, who held him and told him that everything was good to be okay.

"No more of this." Walt said in a determined voice, crossing the distance between himself and the younger man. "We can discuss this again tomorrow, if you like. But no more of this, please. I can't stand to watch you fall apart."

Wiping a tear from his eyes, Sal gave him a loop sided smile. "I've been falling apart ever since I left you."

"Well," Walt said a bit dumbly. "You're here now. And I ain't letting you leave any time soon." That earned him a tiny laugh.

This close, Walt caught his partners familiar scent. He was still using the same fragrance as he had four years ago. "Shhh…" The brunette tried, sitting between Sal's legs and stroking along his arms. He had always loved Sal's forearms. They where muscular and and soft and fitted perfectly around the brunette's waist when they were lying in bed.

The touch seemed to calm Sal down, he stopped crying, dark eyes meeting Walt's.

"Kiss me." Sal breathed into his ear, asking, no begging, for Walt to touch him, to show him how much he still meant to him.

And Walt did.

He poured in all the love he still had for Sal, all the pent up feelings he had tried to keep at bay for the last four years.

His hands found Sal's face, cupping his cheeks and mapping the familiar territory. Every hair, mole on his face, every line, it was all still there, still so familiar. They both moaned into the kiss, melting against each other.

Only when the need for air was stronger than the need to continue kissing, did they pull apart, panting. A trail of saliva still connecting their mouths.

"I love you, Walt. I love you so fucking much it hurts, I-"

"I love you too, Sal, I love you, I promise."

"Show me. Please."