Sorry, but I just had a thought and I’m exhausted and don’t know if I’m going to write anymore tonight.
Just Steve holding a slight grudge against Nancy after she pretty much calls his love bullshit in the bathroom. He feels lead on, he’s slightly bitter but he knows how to be discreetly passive if he needs to be. But thing is he doesn’t have the energy in him to be passive. If this had been before the monsters, and someone who he thought was the love of his life did what Nancy did and proceeded to end up dating the guy who she said not to worry about within days after getting into a fight, he would have probably done something stupid. Probably would have ruined her locker with mean words or something like that.
He wasn’t sure what he would do, he was exhausted and couldn’t think of what used to come easy to him. Or maybe he’s grown to realize how immature that was, how it didn’t even seem all that fun to do to someone. Just thinking back to spray painting slut on the theater makes his gut twist uncomfortably. Once, he used to be the one to climb up there and spray something even worst. Now the thought made him want to throw up.
And maybe the grudge he is holding against Nancy isn’t really a grudge. Maybe he has matured to realized that the grudge he held was within himself for how fast he had fallen. For how stupid he was for thinking the girl would ever end up with him. He should have seen the signs. How she defended Jonathan even after he took non consensual photos of him and her about to have sex. Which he still felt disgusted by, his skin still crawled uncomfortably around the little creep whenever he was close by.
Though when the time comes, he realizes he was holding a grudge against Nancy. When he falls harder for someone new he realizes within minutes that something was different about this one. Instead of smacking him in the shoulder and scolding him for staring to long, Eddie would pull his hair in front of his face with bright eyes. Would do something dramatic to snap Steve out of the trance he was in. Like lick his face instead of kissing him.
That was the other thing Steve discovered. In the moments where it was just the two of them, it seemed like every other minute time would stop and Eddie would be in the same bubble as him. Lost in the same spell that Steve had tumbled into, needing to kiss the other just as much as they needed oxygen to breathe.
Nancy rarely had those moments with Steve, and they had stopped right around the time she started hanging out with Jonathan.
And Steve does hold a grudge, for how she stayed with him longer than what she had to.
Eddie made him feel in love and loved. Whenever Steve watched the other man he could barely keep his hands to himself and the best part was Eddie didn’t care. Steve could bite off Eddie’s remaining nipple and the man would still let Steve do whatever he wanted to him. Nancy never trusted Steve and never earned Steve’s trust the way Eddie did within one week of knowing each other.
Eddie was the moon and Nancy had been the sun for Steve. The sun burnt his skin and left him blistered while the moon wrapped his arms around him and rocked him to sleep every night. While Steve worried about when the sun would explode, he never had to worry about the moon disappearing for to long. It always came back, no matter what happened. Even if Steve had been an asshole.
God was Steve in love. This was it for him. And maybe at one point he had loved Nancy just as much as he did Eddie.
But now, as each day passes he only finds himself falling more in love with Eddie Munson.
He slowly comes to the conclusion that his love was and will never be bullshit.
And when he finally sits down to talk to Nancy about it, he finally gets it off his chest. What had been bugging him for almost years before falling for Eddie.
“Nancy, we were bullshit. But my love, it was all real. Maybe not as strong as it is for Ed’s but I know that if … everything wasn’t such bullshit I could have gotten there.” Steve says softly to Nancy. Shortly after she confessed she still had feelings for him. He seen this conversation coming from a mile away, especially with how many one sided sparks happened between the two of them while running for their life’s on spring break.
And as he stands up, leaving her in her own shock. Letting her process that he was with Eddie, a man. He can’t help but feel proud of himself.
He didn’t intentionally hold this grudge, but he felt as if he got back at her the healthiest way he could. By maturing and moving on. And looking down at Nancy, he could tell that she needed time to do the same. Not to be with another man or date in general, but to just grow as a person. But that was no longer his problem. His problem was currently running up the steps of the trailer with what seemed to be a moving snake.
“Hey Stevie! Look what I found.”
Steve was in love, and it wasn’t bullshit.
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thinking about the manipulation tactic that red guy used on warren. “I guess you dont want that restaurant style meal after all 🙄” like he totally has to do that with yellow and duck. ive spoken before about how red guy has the magical power to convince duck to say sorry or do things he doesnt want to do and its 1000% with manipulation like this.
i just imagine duck being stubborn and red guy being like “its such a shame that such a HANDSOME and GENIUS guy isnt GRACING us with his presence at the dinner table today.”
and duck, currently sulking across the kitchen and refusing to look at red guy, will get really flustered and start giggling and kicking his feet
and red guy will fake a sigh and turn to yellow and be like “its such a HORRIBLE day without the other one, isnt it? If only he’d come back to sit with us..”
and duck will start hopping over to the table and loudly announcing his return to dinner and how everyone is blessed to know him blah blah blah. and then hes in such a good mood and so flustered by red guys flattering he doesnt even realize when hes eventually agreed to wash the dishes, do the laundry, apologize to yellow and also file the guys taxes all at once
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See I don't really believe there are any broader like. Schema of gender in Homestuck in that makes sense. Including Callie's OG gendering of classes but most others don't have a solid "reason" to them. Breath players tend to lean towards transfeminine to me but that doesn't feel like it's because of Breath and so on and so forth.
Basically the only two principles of gender determination in Homestuck I actually abide by are:
Trans characters can be partially determined in certain cases by examine their relationships to other close characters, forming something like a binary (or more) system. Transmasculine Dirk v. Transfeminine Roxy, Femme Transfeminine Gay Jake English v. Butch Transmasc Lesbian Jane Crocker, my Davepeta+ Gender Chart etc. Characters in Homestuck often model themselves in relation to their friends as we do irl.
Space is nigh-exclusively a transfeminine aspect in Homestuck itself. The job of a Space player is to seize and create their own means of creation and species-level reproduction, usually after being deprived of traditional means of womanhood, motherhood, and reproduction.
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just thinking about babe being the youngest out of all their siblings but forced to be mature because all their siblings has always been overseas since they was a kid and they had to take care of themselves
and asher is the only person they can show their childishness and slowly they open up with the pack too and when asher realize this he just smile fondly at them interacting with the other pack members
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its 3am right now and i was struck with the most horrendous upsetting tear jerking sob choking idea of luke becoming disillusioned with the professor after seeing layton at his most vulnerable in unwound future, that every time he looks at him luke starts seeing hershel as a rounded man, who is tearing at the seams,,,,,, like he’s not the cool professor anymore he’s just his mentor, and it’s not like he’s tired of hershel or his company but his growth from an apprentice to a partner is actually a very bitter one
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