#no one does it like him really (and luckily)

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Shameless

Tags: dad!Toji x fem!reader, modern!au, nsfw, mdni, breeding kink, he calls himself daddy

Synopsis: You’re Toji’s live-in nanny. He wants to breed you, and he successfully does so.

An: This is my story on ao3!! You can read it here. If you’re feeling extra nice, a kudos would be cool too.

Being a single dad was hard. Toji learned quickly after his wife's death that he in fact couldn't do this alone. The way little Megumi's big eyes looked up to him for direction... him of all people. He was not cut out for this. Megumi's mom was a wonderful mother: sweet, nurturing, and patient. Toji really didn't know if he was any of those things.

Luckily, her life insurance provided Toji with a relatively comfortable life combined with his job in construction of course. Construction might be his vice. He got away from home for 12 hours a day, and he worked so hard that his brain was mush by the time he was home. Not that he didn't love his son, he did, but every time he looked at Megumi he saw his sweet late wife. He also saw his short comings as a father.

Babysitters quit on him regularly. It was always the same excuse. "Megumi's an angel, but I can't be here 7 days a week. I have a life too." It was incredibly annoying. They'd stay for Megumi but left due to another one of his shortcomings.

Another one quit. That would be the third one this month. "Listen Mr. Fushiguro, I know a friend. She does this sort of thing on a different level. Have you ever considered having a live-in nanny?"

That stupid girl's question enlightened Toji. He had completely forgotten that live-in nannies still existed. After getting her friend's number and paying her what he owed her for her time, Toji relaxed on the couch with little Megumi tucked into his side. The three-year-old was happily babbling next to him, enamored by Toji's phone that was in his hand.

Toji looked at the number dialed into his phone, and he sighed. He was tired of making cold calls to potential babysitters like he was some desperate whore, but maybe, maybe this would be different. He wouldn't mind having a live-in nanny. His house wouldn't mind it either. Toji would be able to finally breathe. No more coming home from 12 hour shifts to pop something to eat in the microwave and wash the dishes. He wouldn't even have to see this so-called nanny often. He could pick up more hours at work with all of his new freedom of not having to worry about pissing off the babysitter.

*** *** ***

Either way, that's how you ended up in Toji's house. For the past three months you had taken care of Megumi, cleaned and deep cleaned his entire house, cooked him plenty of dinners from scratch, and even did his laundry the exact way he preferred. His house has never looked better, and Megumi had never looked so happy.

Despite being here for three months, you barely saw Toji. He seemed to avoid you like the plague and only answer with one-worded answers, which was fine. This was your job, not your actual family. There was no need for extensive communications. Though, you had gushed to your friend plenty over text about how hot "Mr. Fushiguro" was. He was conventionally attractive, yes. But you also always had a thing for the brooding types, and dammit, Toji was brooding. There was also something to be said about how he came home in the evenings. A black wifebeater clinging to his skin from a long day of working out in the sun. His jeans would be dirty from the work he was doing. His skin glistening from a thin sheen of sweat. His hair was always a mess. Goddammit. It was enough to make you feel fertile.

It was early in the morning, Toji was getting ready to go to work. Megumi had woken up, crying for his papa not to leave him. He's going through an extra clingy phase. He's usually okay once Toji's gone.

"Papa!" Megumi cried as Toji entered the living room. You had Megumi in your lap, rocking him with a sleepy look on your face. His tears were wetting your shirt, but you didn't seem to mind.

"He'll be back tonight, Gumi." You shooshed him and continued to try to rock him and pat his back.

Toji's face was unreadable. He was never one to get all upset over Megumi's crying, but hearing his son cry out for him tugged on his heartstrings extra this morning. Then, there was you. You were a godsend to Toji's life. Getting a live-in nanny was one of the best decisions he had ever made. Above that, you were excellent with Megumi. You were sweet... nurturing... patient. He hated how seeing you with his son made him feel. It almost felt like maybe 2 kids wouldn't be that big of a deal. Maybe 3. One on each of your legs and another one swelling in your belly. God. He was disgusted in himself for thinking like that.

"I love you, kiddo." Toji said quickly as he leaned down, giving Megumi's forehead a quick peck. The toddler made grabby hands for him. It was almost enough to make him stay home. Almost. Toji's eyes met yours as he was still leaned over. His face was close to yours. The tension between them were palpable. The moment felt like eternity between them.

Then, a black credit card was in view. "I need new work gloves. Get the extra thick rubber ones, will ya? Also, get whatever you and the kid want. I'll be back late tonight." He handed you the card and sauntered out of the house despite Megumi's pleas for him to stay. You looked at the Amex black card and blinked a couple of times. Only the top earners in the world had cards like this. Toji was just an average blue collar dad... It made you wonder how he got a card like this.

You still spent that shit though.

*** *** ***

Toji looked at his phone on the jobsite. No one dared to tell him to put it away. Toji was the best most competent worker out on the field. He could work circles around supervisors and project managers alike, and he was damn smart. He didn't need a pencil and paper or a calculator to make quick conversions in his head. So, most people stayed out of his way.

He smirked and chuckled at the notifications rolling in from his bank. 78.97 at Target. 21.25 at McDonald's. 43.52 at Barnes and Noble. 9.24 at Starbucks. He was happy you and Megumi were getting to have a little shopping spree.

You were also great at keeping him updated. You sent him lots of pictures and videos of Megumi. He cherished each one of them, immediately getting some of them printed and hung up in his house. There was even a picture of you and Megumi proudly displayed in the living room. In his mind, you were an integral part of the family. The "family" simply would not function if it weren't for you.

A fond smile spread across his face as he opened his messages. A picture of Megumi's little hands trying to fit into his new gloves that she had bought him. Great. She got the right ones. "I think he wants to be just like daddy :)", the message read.

Oh.

Oh.

The twitch that just occurred in his pants should be punishable in a court of law. In no way should he have gotten turned on by that. You were just being nice. It was a normal thing for people to refer to him as "daddy" in that context. It never affected him in the way it was right now.

So anyways, that's how he ended up in the port-a-potty busting a load all over a picture of you that he had on his phone. After the shock of his orgasm that came quicker than ever, he looked down, disappointed in himself. He wasn't some horny teenage boy anymore. This was just downright deplorable. Begrudgingly, he wiped his phone clean from his sins. Post-nut clarity swirled his brain. He couldn't believe he just did that.

He called your number. He had to make things right.

"Hello? Is everything okay?" You immediately asked. After living with Toji for some time now, you learned that he doesn't just call people. He will absolutely decline a call to just text and ask what's up.

"Everything is fine." He replied, trying to hide his amusement. It was cute that you seemed so worried for him. "Are you still in town?"

"Yeah, Megumi and I are about to leave Starbucks and head home. Why? What's up?" You responded back to him. He could hear Megumi happily singing a song in the background.

"You know you spent 152 dollars today?" Toji asked as he popped his back up against the port-a-potty door. He had a lazy smirk on his face.

"Oh- crap. I'm sorry. You can take whatever you see fit out of my pay-" He interrupted your nonsense quickly.

"Do you think I'm poor?" His voice was amused, not angry like you expected it to be.

"What-? No.. no, sir. I was just-"

"I told you to get whatever you and the kid want. Don't come back home until your certain that you can't carry the amount of stuff you bought in one trip." He said quickly. His stomach was already coiling from how you called him sir. He grimaced as he felt another twitch. I just took care of you dammit.

"Oh... oh, okay? Are you su-" Click. He hung up on you. One too many dumb questions. You looked at Megumi as he strapped into the backseat of your car. He looked intrigued by the conversation even though you knew he realistically had no idea what was just said. "Daddy said we have to go to the toy store." You grinned at him. He was smiling and clapping over the word "toy".

234.22 at Toys-R-Us. 122.56 at Lego. 208.38 at Aerie. 88.21 at Ulta Beauty. Another 94.48 at Barnes and Noble.

The way Toji grinned each time he felt that familiar vibration of his phone go off, meaning another notification from his bank was off-putting. Workers on the jobsite never seen him so happy. It was his penance for being such a horny freaky fuck.

*** *** ***

It was later that same evening. Megumi was in the living room surrounded by toys and crafting materials. He was currently drawing all sorts of "shadow animals" as he called them. You would of course look and nod your head, congratulating him on each terribly drawn animal. You acted like that was the best damn wolf-bear-owl hybrid you ever saw.

You were in the kitchen cooking chicken and dumplings. The clock on the stove read seven p.m. You didn't expect to see Toji at all this evening. He said he was working late this morning. Usually, that meant he was dragging his feet in through the door until well past ten p.m.

Still, you made him a serving of chicken and dumpling soup. You always did. Even when he worked late, you would put him a helping of dinner in the microwave to keep warm. You never knew, but he was always delighted by that. He ate the dinners each time.

A key jingling in the door handle caught your attention while you were getting Megumi settled at the dining room table. Three-year-olds were so hard to manage: too small to eat by themselves but too big to be locked in a high chair.

Toji stepped into the living room with a small grunt. He smirked as he looked around at his destroyed living room. Toys, crayons, and pieces of "artwork" were strewn all about the place. He glanced up towards you and Megumi in the kitchen. He took note of how your face was flushed and surprised.

"Papa!" Megumi happily shouted before the little bastard ran from your grasp to go hug on Toji's legs. His dad smiled as he looked down at Megumi, and he used his hand to mess up Megumi's hair affectionately.

"Go eat your food, kiddo." Toji said warmly to his son. Megumi happily obliged and ran right back to his seat right next to you, and you fed him a spoonful of the soup.

"You're home early." You stated the obvious.

Toji would never tell you, but he left early because he missed you two.

"Don't sound too happy to see me." He remarked in a sarcastic tone.

"What-? No, I just.. would've cleaned up more had I known you would be home so soon..." You responded. Megumi was sitting beside you whining for another bite of food. You snapped out of your surprise, and you fed him another bite of chicken and dumplings.

"Why? I don't give a damn what this place looks like." Toji said with a small nonchalant shrug. He walked through the living room, carefully stepping over the toys. Before you had become his nanny, this was how his house normally looked: messy, lived in. "I've got a bowl of dinner in the microwave. My kid's happy and fed. I couldn't care less what that living room looks like."

Your heart fluttered at the sentiment. Toji was easy to please. He really just wanted what was best for his kid, and that was you. "I like making sure you have nothing to worry about." You replied. He looked at you with an unreadable expression. It looked like he might've wanted to say something, but he had backed out last minute. He hummed and walked towards his bedroom to shower the dirt, sweat, and grime from the day.

While Toji showered, you had finished feeding Megumi and yourself. You allowed Megumi to have about an hour of TV time before bed. He really enjoyed old X-Men cartoons. You turned them on for him and parked him on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket.

You hummed softly as you worked in the kitchen. You packed meal prep containers of soup for Toji to take for lunch for the next couple of days. Then, you were washing dishes in front of the sink.

*** *** ***

"I like making sure you have nothing to worry about." Your words repeated in Toji's head over and over like a mantra. He hadn't felt so... cared for in a long, long time. It made his heart feel full, which was an unfamiliar feeling for him. A less unfamiliar feeling was his dick standing fully erect and at attention. He groaned quietly as he leaned his head back in the shower.

Something had to be in the air recently. He was a grown man with desires, sure. But this was a new record for him. Ever since you started being a live-in nanny for him, the boners were a daily thing. Hell, twice or three times a day sometimes. He's tried everything... Well, okay, maybe not everything, but he's tried cold showers and staying away from you. Neither of those things work to soothe him.

His hand was gliding up and down his length for the second time today. He was facing the shower wall with his arm propped up on it, supporting his head. Damn you for making him feel like a slave to his desires. You wanted to make sure he had nothing to worry about? Then, you should be the one in here fixing this damn mess, not him. He pitifully rutted into his hand, imaging he's plunging deep into you. Imagining the multiple ways he'd fuck the hell out of you is the only thing that soothes the ache, but this time he didn't see an end in sight.

He gritted his teeth together, and he balled up his fist, rearing back before stopping himself. He's not a teenager anymore. He can't punch walls. He took a deep breath and turned the shower off. No, this won't do. He needs to fix this at the source.

After quickly drying off and getting dressed, he walked back into the kitchen. His eyes scanned over the house. Megumi was enthralled by the TV, and you were washing dishes. Perfect.

He slowly approached you from behind. He could tell you didn't hear him as you were still softly humming. Usually, you would stop humming if he entered the kitchen. He never understood why. The sounds of your melancholic hums were beautiful and soothing to him.

He was directly behind you, and his hands gently cupped your hips. You immediately flinched and made a soft scream that was quickly silenced by one of his hands. "Shh, we don't want to disturb the little brat, do we?" Toji said into your ear. His warm breath ghosted over the shell of your ear, making you shiver.

Toji's eyes flicked over towards the living room. Megumi hadn't moved an inch. Perfect.

Toji slowly released your mouth. To his delight, you didn't make a sound. He could hear how your breath was slightly labored from him scaring you. A small chuckle rose from his throat. His hands went back to your hips, and he pressed himself against your voluptuous ass. A hum of approval escaped him. He could see your hands gripping the countertops.

"Nod your head. You like this? Want me to keep pressing myself against you?" Toji whispered into your ear. You took your bottom lip between your teeth, and you nodded your head eagerly, giving him consent.

"Dirty fucking girl." His voice was like a growl in your ear as he started to move his hips, dragging his length up and down along you. You could feel each inch of his length beckoning for you. "I knew you'd take whatever I gave you, but this? Letting me grind against you like a pathetic teenager while my son is in the living room? You're such a fucking slut." His hands were digging into your hips as he continued his controlled motions.

"Mnn.. fuck.." You softly whimpered out. Thank god the X-Men were currently in a loud fight scene.

You slightly frowned as you suddenly didn't feel Toji behind you anymore. You were about to turn around and ask what he was doing, but his fingers curling into the waistband of your leggings told you everything you needed to know. "Toji-" You managed to whisper out. No way could you two do this while Megumi was in the next room over.

"Shut up." Toji interrupted you. He had taken his throbbing length out of his sleeping pants, and he had a look of concentration on his face as he angled himself right at your entrance. "You have no fucking idea how long I've needed this. So just be a good girl, shut up, and take what I give you."

Direct orders from your boss. Who were you to deny the man who just spoiled you all day today?

It was a tight fit. Toji wasn't a gentleman. He didn't prep you with his fingers or mouth. This wasn't love making. It was hardly fucking. This was fulfilling a need.

"God... fuck. I didn't expect you to be that tight." He growled into your neck as he held your hips still against him. It felt like he was splitting you apart. You couldn't even respond to him.

He noticed how tightly you were gripping the counter and how you weren't responding to him. Your knuckles were turning white. He almost felt guilty. His hand came around the front of you, and he gently rubbed the swollen bundle of nerves. "Shhh... You can take it. I know you can." He whispered into your ear as it was taking every last shred of self-restraint not to fuck you into oblivion right on this counter. He slowly pulled back until just his tip was inside, and he pushed all the way back in. "That's it. There's my good girl." He praised in your ear. It was not lost on him that he felt you get wetter with each praise.

He hesitated, but he said it anyway, "You wanna be a good girl for daddy, don't you?" He whispered into your ear. That phrase made you tremble in his arms and nod your head. He slowly pulled back out and pushed right back in, taking you slowly. "That's right... hngh, fuck." He moaned into your ear. "You want to be fucked by daddy. You want to take his cock like a good girl. Take it." His hips started to move with more conviction.

You were already so out of it. This was like a dirty fantasy come true. You couldn't help but check the TV a few times to make sure X-Men was still playing. You were still worried that Megumi might run in here for whatever reason and see you bent over in front of his dad. You knew it was unlikely. Megumi could watch that TV like a zombie all day if you let him. Besides, you would be able to hear the small pitter-patter of his footsteps.

"Stop looking at the fucking TV. Trust me." Toji growled into your ear as he forced your hips down onto him roughly. A noiseless gasp escaped you. He wasn't small, and he knew that. He was using it to his advantage.

"Fuck." He groaned quietly as he rubbed you with a bit more fervor. You could already feel that familiar warm feeling coiling in your stomach. "I'm going to fuck a baby into you. You were fucking made for this. Made for raising my kids and taking my fucking load." He was spewing nonsense into your ear, but in the moment, you couldn't help but nod and moan. "You were made for me." He proclaimed as his hips continued harshly snapping into your backside. Somehow the sounds were masked.

"You want that, don't you?" He asked as he bit down on your neck then lapped at the bite mark with his tongue.

"Yes, daddy!" You quietly exclaimed. His thrusts only increased in power. Your eyes started to cross, getting lost in pleasure.

"Fuck. You're gonna look so perfect pregnant with my baby. I won't let you have a break. As soon as one comes out; I'm puttin' another one in you." He continued on yapping about how many kids he was going to pump into you. "I'll breed you again and again." His thrusts were heavy and brutal. You couldn't take it anymore.

He moaned as he felt you clenching around him, finishing all over his cock. It was enough to drive him overboard. He pumped you full of cum until you were sure some of it was seeping out.

There was a peaceful moment of dizzy highness for you two. Toji panted against your back. For the first time in while, he's felt satisfied. A soft amused laugh escaped him as he heard the iconic X-Men episode coming to an end. He swiftly pulled out of you, and he tried to ignore that little whimper of protest you let out. He tucked himself back into his pants, and he pulled your leggings and panties back up for you since you were still a trembling mess over the counter.

"Alright Kiddo, c'mon. Time for bed." Toji said as he sauntered off into the living room as if he didn't just rearrange your guts. He put Megumi to bed that night, and he cleaned up the living room for you, allowing for you to recover in his bed for round two. He was much more of a gentleman for round two.

*** *** ***

"Hey... I know I ain't been to see you in a while. I'm sorry." Toji said as he sat down on the grassy ground. "I was letting life pass me by for too damn long." He said as he took a wet washcloth and began to wash up his late wife's gravestone. "I'm doing better now, so don't worry about me."

"Megumi's growing like a weed. I'm sorry I didn't bring him to see you... I just don't know how to explain it to him." Toji's voice was full of guilt as he dragged the wet washcloth against the stone. "He's a good kid though. He looks just like you, damn bastard." He softly laughed, knowing his wife would've struck him over the side of the head for calling Megumi a damn bastard.

"Listen... I met a girl." He leaned his head over the gravestone. It had been close to three months since you and Toji started sleeping together. There wasn't a formal label to your relationship, but it didn't feel necessary. You two both knew you were sleeping exclusively with each other. "I think you'd like her, or maybe you wouldn't since she's fucking your husband. But either way... I-" He choked up a bit as he held onto the cold stone. "I feel so fucking guilty... I know you're not coming home anytime soon, but I just... I need your blessing. If you can somehow hear me, please... I never asked you for anything until I asked you to marry me. Now, I'm asking... please somehow show me you approve of this."

"She's good for me... She takes good care of Megumi. He's so damn attached to her somedays." Toji softly laughed as he remembered how a few nights ago Megumi crawled into bed with you and him because he had a nightmare. Instead of taking to Toji like he normally does, he crawled into your arms. Toji had never felt so damn proud and slighted at the same time.

"I should get going. Give me a sign though.. Something that tells me you approve." He finished his visit with his wife, and he went home.

*** *** ***

That night at dinner, Megumi sped into the kitchen with an action figure in his hand. He was pretending to be Batman. "Gumi, I've told you three times. Stop running." You said as you gave the small child a look. Toji smirked as he knew that look good and well. It was the look a mom gave as a warning. Megumi was on his last warning.

"I'm sorry, mama." Megumi apologized, causing for both you and Toji to freeze right in your tracks. Megumi had never called you mama before. He always said your name.

Your heart swelled in your chest. It was a feeling of affection and guilt. "Oh no... baby.." You said softly as you took his hand. You lead him into the living room, and you crouched down, showing him a picture of his mom to him. "That's mama." You gently corrected him.

Toji watched the scene like a hawk from the dinner table. His heart was pounding in his chest. He had never been shy about telling Megumi who his mom was, but he hadn't exactly been forthcoming about how his mom passed away when he was a small baby.

Megumi pointed at the picture. "Mama." He said quietly. You nodded and patted his head.

"That's right." You praised affectionately. He then turned his attention to you. and he poked your chest with his tiny finger.

"Mama." He said, pointing at you.

"No-"

"It's alright." Toji spoke up from his seat at the dinner table.

"I don't want him to be confused..." You replied as you slowly stood back up, looking at Toji.

"He doesn't sound confused to me." He retorted with a small grin. You turned your attention back to Megumi, and Toji looked up towards the ceiling. "Thank you." He muttered so quietly before kissing the necklace that hung around his neck. He had his wife's blessing. This proved it.

After finishing his dinner, Toji joined you two in the living room. You and Megumi were curled up on each side of his while watching that old X-Men cartoon. Suddenly, Megumi rose from the couch. You and Toji watched him with a hint of confusion.

"What is he doing?" You softly asked Toji as Megumi bent over, and he looked between his legs at both you and Toji.

"I have no fucking id-" He was about to respond, but then, it hit him. "Get up." He said as he stood up from the couch. He quickly grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet like a madman.

"What? What? Is something wrong?" You asked as you had never seen Toji move this fast. You quickly got up too.

"Nothing's wrong. Come on. We're going to the store." He grunted as he swooped Megumi into his arms.

You were confused and in denial when Toji bought a pregnancy test and made you take it. Now, both of you were waiting outside of the bathroom for the five minutes to be over. "This is crazy, Toji. I'm not pregnant."

"It's an old wives' tale. When babies do that, it's supposed to mean their looking for their sibling." Toji said with a nonchalant shrug as if what he said was matter-of-fact. "My mother told me that's how she knew she was pregnant with me."

The timer went off on his phone, and both of you fought to get into the bathroom first. He eventually overpowered you and snatched the pregnancy test off the counter quickly. "Oh." He said quietly. The room went still.

Suddenly, your heart was racing. "What is it? Is it negative?" You asked a hint of disappointment hit you. You didn't know why, but a small part of you hoped for it to be positive.

"Oh, you're fucking getting it tonight." Toji smirked as he turned the pregnancy test over. Two pink lines were clear as day on the test. You're pregnant.

Tags: @lemonlimecrystal-blog @theuniversesnepobaby

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

It was another competion the entire family all shoving and pushing each other into the car to see more of Damian's art.

Tim is excited for Damian.

He knows what it's like, to stand there and have no one show up. To be there all by yourself for hours the only one to visit your booth being the art teacher.

Ms. Carrington who would ask questions and ignore the tears that pooled in his eyes before helping him pack everything up, sometimes even driving him home because of course neither his parents or Bruce could be bothered to pick him up.

He can't really help the envy that he can feel building in his chest mixing with a good chunk of repressed anger.

A elbow being jabbed into his ribs distracts him.

"Hey what's with the face? Perk up Boy-Loser it's Damian's night."

He turns to Steph the smile that he had been attempting to plaster on falling. It's such a stupid thing it's a nickname so what if it's demeaning, he gets called pretender or replacement by Jason what does it matter.

"Do you ever think it's kinda fucked up that not a single person in this family calls me anything that isn't an insult?" He snaps.

She looks shocked. How fucking dare he have an ounce of self esteem. Someone alert the Media Tim Drake isn't a dormat.

He turns away sliding into the crowd.

There's less then half an hour left before he can leave. Pratically throwing himself down in the empty hallway as far as he can get from this entire night.

"Baby bird and Timmy aren't insults? Or are they I can't seem to keep up with the kids these days."

He turns, of course. You might be able to run from Batman or lie to him, but you can never escape the grasp of Big Brother Nightwing.

"So your admitting that your old?" he joins the banter.

His muscles start to unclench another superpower only Dick Grayson seems to have.

"Never, something you want to talk about?"

Does he? No. Should he? Yah.

"Maybe I just don't want be insulted every day of my life. So weird who doesn't want to be reminded they suck?"

He can hear the whine, he can also hear that everything he just said isn't gonna matter. You don't take whiny little boys seriously. And that's what he is.

"Hmm you know I get called Dickhead or really a lot of just penis related jokes. Always hated them not that it really stops anyone."

He looks finally making eye contact with his big brother. Because he's right. How many times has he heard anyone in the family other than him and Damian call Dick anything nice. Never not once. Maybe Bruce but he can't really picture it.

"Also don't think I didn't notice how annoyed you are with Bruce about this entire night, which I don't blame you for. You know I love Damian kiddo, but yah Bruce is not winning a mug from me or you."

He doesn't really want to acknowledge any of that already exhausted and he will have to apologize to Steph and if he opens the box it will be a car ride from hell home.

"Luckily for you I have a car parked a block up we can escape get ice cream and have a nice sleepover in bludhaven."

He wants to so bad, he wants to throw himself at Dick who knows him so well, who followed him out here, who isn't blinking, the only adult who has ever not somehow fucked him over.

"What about Damian? He will be pissed at me for stealing you or something. He doesn't need another reason to stab me."

He turns to look back at the floor.

"Foolish Drake I will be coming with you Father is being insesently annoying and I much rather talk about art with someone who has a brain cell."

Both him and Dick whip around to see Damian standing there a slight blush on his face hesitation making the corner of mouth twitch. He sees Dick looking on unsure. He doesn't hesitate.

"Thank god I know a great place with that Vegan Cookie Dough you like. What you waiting for Big Bird? Let's go. "

Climbling to his feet he grabs Dick and Damian dragging them to the exit he hears Dick's confused muttering sharing a secret smile with Damian before ignoring it.

The night is finally looking up.

[married-to-google-translater]

*slides in* aha! I shall request…for Obey Me headcanons! How would Mammon, Beelzebub and Lucifer be with an S/0 who is very forgiving? She would even forgive the likes of Belphegor faster than excepted. With that, this S/O of theirs can be naive and overly trusting and optimistic due to her thinking that everyone share the same good intentions as she does. (Which is probably why she help Belphie out of the attic that day). But aside from all these, she’s very loving.

Beelzebub comes tomorrow :3

Mammon

Yeah, at first your life is going to be really hard with this man.

Mammon thought he had found an endless money generator.

He would definitely try to use your kindness at first.

He realizes that you assume good things about everyone, even if it's not true.

Especially not in Devildom XD

Luckily you're not stupid though and this wouldn't work.

Lucifer is not happy to hear about this.

Mammon certainly wouldn't be so subtle with this one.

He would make fun of how gullible you are and tell you that you need to be tougher.

Mammon might already have a crush on you at this point but his tsundere ass won't admit it.

However, over time, Mammon becomes much more protective.

Since you are HIS person, no one else could take advantage of you.

HIS human would deserve protection.

You should be thankful that HE protects you from everything.

Why not show your gratitude and give him hugs?

If you do that, be careful because no amount would be enough in the end~

Lucifer

Oh, you're causing Lucifer so many gray hairs.

Of course you don't do it on purpose and he wouldn't balame you of it.

You mentioned something like this in your application.

Lucifer would try to protect you from the start.

It seems like every week he would hear that Mammon had done something bad.

Lucifer regrets putting Mammon in charge of you.

At first he did it to protect this project and Diavolo's reputation.

However, over time, he started to have the some feelings for you.

He feels proud whenever you come to him for help or protection.

Lucifer enjoys your innocence in a certain way.

This would be something new in Devildom.

If you have any problems, Lucifer will take care of them.

Your relationship would be something special

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Not Man, Nor Monster

Masterlist Word count: 1.5 k Halsin x Reader x Astarion (but he isn't really in it. just the dynamic) Read on AO3

Summary: You tried so hard, but in the end you couldn't stop Astarion's ascension. It weighs on you harder than you had imagined. Halsin helps you get through it.

Normally, camp is a place to unwind. A place where the outside world doesn't exist, except for those nights where the outside world infiltrates camp. Luckily, those nights are few and far between.   Tonight is a different situation. There are two empty tents. One is permanently empty, the other temporarily abandoned to find peace in nature. The one belongs to Astarion, the other to Tav. The rest of the group thought about going after either of them to try and talk this through, but Jaheira made the wise decision to let everything cool down before starting a conversation.  There's a blanket of tension and gloom thrown over the camp as everyone tries to dance around the subject at hand. Jaheira, Halsin, and Gale sit around the campfire, all three hopelessly lost while looking for something to talk about while a bottle of mermaid whiskey gets passed around in circles that seem to go a little too fast. Scratch and Honey, the owlbear Tav jokingly named after Halsin's favourite snack, scatter around but aren't playing as they usually do. It seems even the two of them can feel the tension. Scratch had to be called back multiple times while trying to go after Tav.  Gale finally breaks the silence: 'So what do we do now?' Jaheira shows a pained smile as the mermaid whiskey is passed to her. The bottle is almost empty by now.  'We drink and we wait,' she speaks. Halsin shivers. Quite the sight to see someone that big shiver.  'This doesn't feel right.' As if on que, a bloodcurdling scream is heard from the forest. It is loaded with regret, pain, and heartbreak. The scream goes through bone and marrow, sending a cold shiver down the spines of everyone at camp. Shadowheart comes running towards the campfire, panic in her eyes.  'I think someone should check up on them,' she hastily says, almost getting ready to run into the woods but Halsin gets up and nods to her. She looks defeated and maybe a little annoyed. Jaheira pats the spot on the ground where Halsin was sitting as he walks calmy towards the forest. 'But I-'  'It's better if he goes,' Jaheira interrupts, 'those two are inseparable.' Shadowheart knows it to be true but still looks hesitant as she sits down. Jaheira passes her the mermaid whiskey. She toys with the bottle for a second before finishing it off. 

'Tav, are you here?' Halsin doesn't have to ask, he is one with the forest and knows every creature there. He simply does it to be polite, to give Tav a chance to tell him to piss off if they so please. He finds them curled up and sobbing, laying in the middle of a small clearing. They look up at Halsin with big, red eyes. He hates the sight and would kill Astarion for doing this to Tav but they are more important than his murderous rage right now.  He sits down next to them and they lay their head in his lap. Halsin gently brushes his fingers through their hair, allowing them to let it all go, let everything slip out.  'He told me he'd make me his spawn, after everything we've been through. He tried to do to me what has been done to him. I should've never helped him with the ritual. I am so stupid.'  'No darling, you couldn't predict this. You see the good in everyone, that's what makes you so incredibly special. It is one of many reasons why I love you.'  'You know, that's the worst part. He told me he loved me before proposing to make me his spawn. How can someone be so incredibly cruel? He was healing and this just changed everything.'  'It pains me to see you like this. No one deserves that kind of treatment.'  'But I do. I am far too naïve to fight this fight. I shouldn't be leading a group of people into battle. I'm not strong enough. I make too many stupid decisions.' Halsin can feel as the pain and sadness Tav feels turns into rage and self-hatred. It's something he's never seen of them before. They're normally the sunshine smile at camp, the motivator, the helper. He must've been blind to forget they're a person with fears and insecurities too. Blinded in the light of their smile as to not see the shadows behind it.  'My heart, if not you then who? You are the only one in this camp without a clouded opinion. The only one who weighs every option evenly and thinks ahead. Sometimes I feel like you can see into the future.'  'Even so, I let someone with such a black heart cloud my judgement for so long. I can only be grateful that you saw through all of it. Not everyone at camp is as forgiving as you are.'  'My love, I am not forgiving in the slightest. I hold grudges until the end of time but you always see reason.'  'Halsin, please. I know you're trying to make it better, but I just want to wallow in my feelings until I can't feel anything anymore.'  'Are you sure?'  'No, but your words usually soothe me. Now they only piss me off. I don't want to hate you.' Their breath hitches in their throat as the sobs come up again. Halsin lays himself down in the grass and pats his chest. Tav takes the invitation and lays their head on his chest, curled into his body with his arm around them, holding them tight. It feels like a safety blanket, like a cloud numbing the feelings of before. The big feelings weighing on their chest seem to lose their weight as a spell of tiredness lifts over them. Surely, Halsin has something to do with it, as well as the protective spell they feel encasing them in their spot, but they don't mind. And slowly night becomes day. 

'They're not back yet,' Shadowheart asks Jaheira while they're both suiting up.  'No, and I doubt we'll head out today.' Jaheira can tell that, while she's trying to be respectful and loving, it annoys Shadowheart that Tav can't shove their feelings to the side in favour of the greater good. 'They'll be fine soon. They're strong but you have to realize that they've been playing the part of listening ear for weeks now. Maybe even months. They've listened to everyone's troubles and tried to fix them. Astarion was a real piece of work but even I could see he was starting to regain self-worth and love for life. Besides, they were together for some time. They did everything they could to make Astarion as comfortable and happy as possible and he still stabbed them in the back. That's not something you come back from easily.'  'What do you mean?'  'You did not hear what he proposed to her last night?'  'No, it is not my business.'  'You should make it your business,' Jaheira grumbles, 'he told them he loved them and he'd make them his spawn to love forever.'  'I see. It makes more sense now.' 

Morning light wakes Tav with a comforting thumping under their head. They open their eyes to see Halsin still peacefully sleeping. The protective spell he covered them with has long worn off and so has the sleeping spell he put on them. A smile spreads on their lips as they push themselves up to press the sweetest of kisses on his lips. They did not want his help yesterday but are more than glad he put them to sleep. Nothing they thought or said was rational yesterday.  'You are going to give me toothaches if you keep kissing me that sweetly.'  'I thought you liked sweet.'  'I never said I do not.' A content feeling flushes over Tav as they lose themselves in this moment. There is still good in the world.  'I've been dreaming,' Tav tells halsin, 'I dreamt about a world overgrown with lush greenery and people living in peace with each other and everything around them. There was no Astarion, no elder brain, no tadpoles. Just you and me sitting on the porch of a tiny house we built looking out onto a lake. Sometimes we would go out and roam, uncover the forests around us and finding new spots each and every time. And you told me you loved me every day and I said it back every time.' Halsin smiles and tightens his arm around Tav.  'That sounds like heaven.'  'I wish it were possible.'  'Maybe it is. Maybe we'll find a way after all of this is over.' They stay quiet for a while.  'I think we'll need to kill Astarion after all of this is over. I fear he might be worse than Cazador.'  'As much as I wish it were different, I think you are right, but we'll get there when we get there.'  'Deal.'  'Are you ready to return to camp?'  'Not yet. Let's just stay a little longer.' 

[kissoulie]

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒

𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🫧

— NSFW, MDNI. dick sizes!

warnings: metric system 😭 grab a ruler LOL fem bodied reader as usual!

a/n: no one asked for this 🤍 but i wanted to write it! dedicated to my fellow piwontober mooties 🫶 first time doing bulleted format i am just too lazy to write a full fic rn

keeho

- we have already established that i'm a monster cock keeho truther

- 24.5cm, or about 9.5in. pretty girthy, veiny, and all around just a massive dick. it hangs even when he's fully hard 😭

- he knows how to use it!!!!

- he's done a lot of research about the cervix, and female anatomy in general so he knows how to fit it all in. trust me.

- he still prefers to go super slow though 🫶 he loves feeling you clench around him!

- and feeling every inch while he slowly drags it out of you is perfect

- he's a big fan of deepthroating, but let's be real it takes a ton of training to get him more than halfway down your throat

theo

- 15cm, or about 6in. very pretty, slightly curved, perfectly average. and yes he does get waxed

- ngl theo is def the type of guy who's heard "it hurts when it's too big" before!! 😭

- it did not bruise his ego fortunately 🙏 it just made him more motivated to get better in bed

- def gets pussy drunk, it's not intentional, he's just sensitive

- bonus but i think his cum tastes good

jiung

- 19cm, or 7.5in

- just Slightly above average, nothing particular to note about how it looks

- he's super proud of it though ok 😭

- one girl called him too big ONCE and now he's got a little bit of an ego

- it's ok tho he has the skills to back it up!!!!

- he's super into deepthroating 😭 luckily he isn't too big for that to be an issue

- he definitely makes it a mission to make every hookup of his squirt at least once so they'll never forget him

intak

- 14cm, or about 5in

- he goes at it like a dog, man 😭

- he fucks like a rabbit i swear!!!

- so it's a good thing he is perfectly average. a little on the veiny side, and slightly curved upwards

- hits your gspot perfect

- the kind of guy you fuck & marry!!!

shota

- he is my favorite don't get mad

- i write him with a big dick all the time ok 😭

- 11.5cm

- the .5 is important don't forget to measure it!!!

- he still feels so deep when he's inside you though he's girthy as fuck

- he's a munch so he doesn't think it really matters how good he is with his dick as long as he can please you

- but trust me he can please u with his dick too 😭

- soulie makes u cum more than 5x every time you guys fuck ^-^

- but maybe i'm just biased

jongseob

- 20cm, 8in.

- i will not be elaborating much

- he's thin, very pretty, veiny, and just Lord he has the perfect dick

- he will make u see heaven when you're together 🙏

[tswwwit]

I really really like the sequence of Dipper dealing with the backlash from the sleep curse in both povs. Bill seemed to think his mind was gone, but Dipper clearly was aware of not only what was going on, but dealing with it pretty well. Is backlash just a waiting game or does it depend the person? Does Dipper ever tell Bill what exactly was happening in his head? How different would it be for someone else?

Fantastic question! It depends both on the person, and on the curse that was cast/broken, and on how much power was used.

Think of it like a rubber band. Tension holds it in place. A curse wrapped around someone else could snap back on the caster if it was still connected to them, or done poorly. The more tension/power, the harder it hits. The nature of the backlash depends on the initial setup!

Most curse casters will get smacked around a bit if their stuff is broken - but there are also ways to tie up the person/people without having it come back to bite you in the ass as much. Nobody wants a 'shrivel up and die' curse coming back to instantly mummify them, after all.

In the sleep curse in Faking It, Dipper had no idea what he was doing, and didn't do it well. When his curse got broken, it was extra bad. He didn't have any set up to mitigate it, and the sheer volume of people affected and energy it used made it pretty huge. And it was mind magic, so inevitably, the return involved minds.

To paraphrase a line from Hating It: 'Washed away on the tide of a thousand minds'. ALL the dreaming thoughts from the town rushed right over Dipper like a literal flood. Another person's brain would have been swept away and bashed against the rocks until they were a fine paste.

Dipper has reasonable self-awareness, so he was more adept than average. Bill told him what would happen, so he was considerably more prepared than average.

Still, all of that might not have been enough! it was A Lot of magic and brainpower smacking him around.

Luckily, Dipper also happens to be clever. Between Bill's prep and his own knowledge, he knew what to look for. He grabbed onto every handhold he could find, then found the Single Solid Rock in the middle of the flood and clung to it. That Nobody Else Knew About Bill. The one true thing that only HE knew, and let him weather the storm. Albeit considerably waterlogged and needing time to dry out.

Dipper's not gonna discuss it with Bill; he doesn't like to think about it. But I imagine Bill susses it out eventually!

[vodika-vibes]

Awesome job on hitting 800 you deserve it! I love the fall theme, my birthdays in the fall! Could you do Pumpkin Spice with Alpha-17 pls?¿ maybe on the premise of going out for a few drinks at the bar which turns into a few more than intended liquid courages and things get spicy (lol) which turns to an unregretful, unashamed oopsie daisy morning for the two of you?

Pumpkin Spice

Summary: A night at the bar between two friends becomes something more.

Word Count: 985

Prompt: Pumpkin Spice

Warnings: Implications of drunk sex, but no details

A/N: Thank you! And thank you for your request! I hope you like this one! I'm also going to preface this with I don't drink because of medicine I'm on, so I'm kinda flying blind here.

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

“Are you drunk already?” Alpha-17 grins at the smaller woman sitting next to him, her head is resting on the table and her glass is still half full, “You didn’t even finish one drink.”  It wasn’t even a lot of alcohol, Alpha is pretty sure that Pumpkin Spice Ale is more sugar than anything else.

“Kriff you,” The table muffles her voice, and Alpha doesn’t bother hiding his amusement. She already knows his personality, after all.

“I can’t believe that you asked to come drinking with me and you didn’t even finish one drink,” Alpha replies with a grin on his face, “You need to get out and drink more, little lady.”

“Ugh.” She finally lifts her head and glares at him, her face is flushed from the drink and Alpha chokes back a laugh with difficulty, “Little lady? Really?”

“Well, you’re little. And you’re a lady. So the title fits.”

“Everyone is little compared to you,” She grouses, “So sorry I’m not built like a karking tank.”

Alpha lifts his bottle to his lips, “Hm, skill issue.”

She glares at him again, and then lowers her head to the table again, “You’re obnoxious.”

“And here I was going to offer to walk you home.”

She turns her head so she’s able to look at him, “What’s the catch?”

“You have to make me caf.”

“Ugh. Just leave me in a ditch somewhere. It’s where I belong.”

Alpha rolls his eyes and finishes his bottle before he sets it on the table next to her head, “You’re so dramatic.” He stands and presses a hand between her shoulder blades, “Alright, pretty girl. On your feet.”

She groans but sits up and peers up at him, “Will you carry me?”

“If I carry you, you’ll have to pay me in something sweet.”

“Deal.” She holds her arms out and Alpha rolls his eyes before he turns around and allows her to hop up on his back. She buries her face in his neck, “You’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky you live close.”

Luckily, she really does live close by. It’s not even a ten-minute walk from the bar to her apartment, though the walk is long enough that she falls asleep on his shoulder.

Alpha has to nudge her awake as he arrives at the apartment complex, and she digs a key out of her pocket and drops it in his hand. “What am I, your butler?” He grumbles under his breath, though he does unlock the apartment door and steps into the cozy apartment.

He unceremoniously drops her to her feet and then shuts the door behind him.

“Rude,”

“You owe me caf and snacks.” Alpha pauses, “And you need some water and snacks too.”

She huffs, “I’m not that drunk.”

“Sure, you aren’t. Do me a favor, stand on one foot and press your finger to your nose—”

She sputters indignantly, “What are you, a cop?”

“That’s what I thought.”

“I should kick you out without caf,” She threatens, her eyes narrowed, but even as she says that she’s heading into the kitchen to start the machine. 

“Don’t forget to drink some water,” Alpha says as he walks into the kitchen after her and drops onto one of her stools.

“Yes, Mother,”

Alpha watches as she does as he instructs, and a small smirk crosses his face, “So it looks like you can be obedient when you feel like it.” She pauses for a moment, and then she makes a face and continues sipping her water.

As soon as the cup is empty though she crosses her arms and glares at him, “I’m not obedient.”

“Clearly.”

“I’m always in control.”

“Oh, naturally.”

Her scowl is more of a pout, “I was going to drink water anyway, even if you didn’t say anything.”

“If you say so.”

She points at him dramatically, “You’re very annoying!”

“Thanks, it’s my superpower.”

“And-and-and,” She stumbles over her words, “You need to stop talking.”

Alpha tilts his head, a small smirk crossing his face, “Make me.”

Her lips crash against his, and he tugs her so that she’s straddling his lap as he deepens the kiss. She tastes like pumpkin spice, and despite her insistence that she’s always in control, she surrenders to him as soon as his tongue slides against hers.

Her nails scrape against his scalp and Alpha groans. He breaks the kiss, his lips moving to her jaw, “How drunk are you?” He won’t go any further if she’s still as drunk as she was at the bar.

“I’m sober enough,” She counters stubbornly, catching his lips with hers and dragging her hands down his chest.

And, well, who is he to argue with that?

The following morning, Alpha wakes up with the sun. His pretty girl is tucked against his side, sleeping peacefully. Though she is covered in bruises from how tightly he held her last night, and from his teeth, she doesn’t seem bothered by it.

Alpha considers her for a moment. Does he have any regrets about last night? Honestly, no. He’d do it again in a heartbeat.

She stirs against him and releases a whine of dismay, and then peeks up at him, “Alpha,”

“Hm?”

“Will you make me caf?”

A startled laugh falls from his lips, “I’m a guest in your home, you’re supposed to feed me.”

She whines again, and Alpha lightly drags his fingers down her spine, making her shiver and press closer to him.

“Hm, any regrets, pretty girl.”

“Regrets are for other people,” She replies immediately, and then she flushes, “Jumping you was always the eventual plan, I just needed some additional courage.”

“Good to know.” Alpha tugs on a strand of her hair, “So, caf and food, and then round two?”

“I think it’s technically round four.”

“Details, details,” Alpha leans down and kisses her, “Get up, pretty girl. It’s time to start the day.”

@imabeautifulbutterfly

@n0vqni

@bad4amficideas

@justiceandwar98

@Mira-Loves-Star-Wars

@tiredbi-peach

@dukeoftheblackstar

@trixie2023

@kimiheartblade

@padawancat97

@falconfeather23435

@etod

@bb8-99

@kiss-anon

@continous-mistakes

@yoitsjay

@liz-stat

@cc--2224

@adriennelenoir

@cdblake1565

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Sugar kisses

People's memories can be linked to places, smells or textures, today you attempt to awaken Jiro's memories with sweets!

Wc: 1,1k

Note: wrote this kind of quickly to see if he would come home after getting a fic like Leo

When you found out Jiro was able to eat normal food when you fed him, Nicolás would have guessed that he would show some sliver of emotion and be interested in tasting different things without his body rejecting it but it seems like you found it more fun than him.

“So you are saying the inspector asked you to bring more candy? Why is it weird? Halloween is approaching”

Bentai downed his whiskey before swiping the glass towards Rui and looking at him “but you had to see how funny they looked dragging one of your ghouls around ugh… the tall one with scars? What was his name…” his words slurring together after his third drink.

“Jiro? Mhh… they must want to make him try new flavors”

“How cute! Another couple on campus that will buy things for valentine's and white day! Let's cheer for that, Rui two on the rocks in my tab” and the blond just smiles and serves the drinks.

.✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦. .✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦.

“You seem to be really interested in this” Jiro says absentmindedly before chewing on the candy corn you were pushing against his lips, his tongue is soon drowned in sickly strong sugar caramel-like taste he quickly swallows.

“You just told me you never ate sweets, I-”

“I said I don't remember eating them since I woke up, it's likely I have eaten when I was younger but can't remember”

“Then maybe you could remember something if we try enough” he nods at your logic, there could be a probability he remembers something before his comma, even if it's unlikely. Twisting around to grab your notebook your eyes watch expectantly “so? Anything?” it's endearing how you got a whole new notebook just to record his reaction to the various sweets, writing earnestly his opinion even if it wasn't more than a word.

“It's too sweet for me” is all he says before returning to the microscope, examining tissue from an anomaly. It isn't until you whine in disappointment that he looks to the side and sees you pout “it's originated from America, I doubt I would have tasted it before. Maybe a more traditional sweet would be more likely” even if he had a pessimistic forecast for this, Yuri already attempted to at the time with no results, seeing your determined smile made a nice feeling of lightness settle between his ribs.

If candy corn was too sweet and he disliked how fudge stuck to his teeth, something about cavities and it being annoying to clean, then what could he like… After some thinking, Zenji’s voice booms in your head ‘and when Jiro was a baby his cheeks were as pink and full as strawberry dango!’ He even took his time following after you when you were buying candy, telling you all kinds of stories he remembers about Jiro that could be useful (even if he didn't remember him having a favorite food). Haku even seemed sad when you returned him his ghost.

“Let's try dango” luckily a Hotarubi student agreed to make you a batch of hanami dango even if he thought it was weird as it wasn't anywhere near Sakura watching season “open wide~”

And Jiro, ever so agreeable, turns around from his almost finished investigation and does as asked biting into the soft rice cake while gently holding your wrist between his thumb, pointer and middle finger. At first it was weird how he never had his full hand around you or refused to play wrestle ‘I don't want to hurt you accidentally’ he would say and you would smile, he couldn't possibly be strong to hurt you just having his hand around you, or so you though before seeing him snap an IV drip in half because he held it too tightly.

“Do you like it?” The question slips a few seconds after he starts chewing hoping he would have an opinion other than ‘too sweet’ or ‘fine’ but his expression -or lack of- tells you that he doesn't love it or even feel strongly about it, just like all the other candies you bought for the mini picnic date.

Still, hope is the last thing that gets lost, so you get him to try the other flavors he might possibly like more. Second flavor, no reaction “well, even if we don't find one you like I can see your cute face! Your cheeks are as round as mochi~!”

At the comment he stops chewing. Everyone would have guessed he caught his partner's compliment, but of course Jiro didn't and thought they wanted to eat “If you are hungry you can eat it, I don't mind”

“Eh? If you don't like it just tell me, I also got other types and-”

“My stomach won't really agree with it”

“Is it rejecting food again?? I will call Yuri”

“No… I'm just not used to eating so much yet” ah, it makes sense, he hasn't really eaten anything solid for a year without puking it out.

Defeated, you sit on the table beside Jiro, feet kicking the air while you pour the sweet soy sauce over the mitarashi dango. Having failed at both targets, making him remember Zenji and finding a food he likes, ruined your mood for the day

Without much hunger but not wishing to waste food you start eating until a deep voice breaks the silence.

“Why are you so insistent on this?”

“What do you mean?”

“insistent on getting my memories back”

“I just think it's sad” teeth dig into the rice cake drenched in syrup and tear it into small pieces that are easier to eat without much care for the string of liquid sliding down the corner of your mouth “If I were to forget my family and friends and all my experiences… It would be depressing”

Jiro mumbles something that is quite hard to make into a sentence because of the volume and how close the words are together “did you say something?”

getting your face closer to his in an attempt to understand his scarred hand grabs your chin and plants a kiss just where the candy was.

His eyes light up with impish joy and a boyish laugh escapes from his lips just like when he scares you or Yuri “you are really jumpy, how cute” his tongue collects the remnant sauce from his lips to the inside of his mouth.

Without a care about your warm cheeks he gets up from the chair and walks off to the door to deliver the paper but teases with a light smile “I don't truly mind not remembering anything before waking up, but if you care so much we can make new memories together”

[beansnpeets]

Thinking about human behaviour compared to animal behaviour again.

It's funny to hear people (the older gens) complaining that "kids these days are lazy, they don't wanna work, etc." What do we get for busting our asses? There is no reward. Many will never own homes. Many are unemployed, trying to find work, and nobody will hire them because they don't have a million years experience and a masters degree OR they want people to work for minimum wage??? People are giving up because there is no reward. Why would we do all this for nothing?

Same as a dog that won't recall when you haven't reinforced it with a reward. Your dog isn't going to do what you tell it to if there is no incentive. No, your dog SHOULDN'T listen just because you're boss and it should respect you. That isn't how it works. They don't think that way. And honestly neither do people.

When we went hiking Sprocket wasn't always taking treats gently from me when I recalled her or she checked in and I rewarded and my one friend told me to stop giving her treats. I told him I won't work for free so why should she. And he said "I do things for free all the time because I want to do them," and I didn't say it then, but I wish I had, but if you like doing it, that's the incentive. It's a self-rewarding behaviour. Just like anything else a dog does, like chasing a squirrel or sniffing things or getting into the trash. Heeling instead of going off to sniff stuff or recalling off of something they want to chase is something you have to reinforce. You have to give them something better so they make the choice you want them to make. They won't make it just because they *respect* you. They won't willingly recall off of exciting prey out of RESPECT. You need to give them a tangible reward for that. You cannot possibly expect your dog to listen just because and then punish them for disobeying you.

Yeah, Sprocket bit my fingers a couple times. The one time pretty hard. But she was excited. She knows how to take gently and I reminded her and she tried very hard to be gentle most of the time. I wasn't going to stop rewarding her for checking in with me and recalling while we were off leash hiking in the woods. I want her to know that coming back to me is good and in the event of an emergency I would like her to not blow me off.

[zeroducks-2]

See he's sitting like this to let everyone know he's cunty.

(panel from The Flash Rebirth Vol4: Running Scared)

[helpimstuckinafandom]

Me starting another bg3 run where I will make virtually all the same decisions in mostly the same order as if there isn't different branching paths

[britneyshakespeare]

not until i started reading restoration and post-restoration plays written by women like aphra behn and susanna centlivre did i fully understand romantic comedy on another level. the male love interests are just built better. like as much as i love a midsummer night's dream, if i were hermia i would never risk death or a forced life in a nunnery for lysander. no. hell no. he's just ken. but if i were miranda would i risk my thirty-thousand-pound inheritance to elope with sir george airy? if i were leticia would i contemplate leaving behind my country and my hated old husband i was tricked into marrying the second i learn that belmour is still alive, to live with his banished ass in exile? hm. let me thin—yes.

[softquietsteadylove]

Baby olympia stole my hearth, their little family is soo cute 🥹, if it's okay with you love, could you do one where Thena is doing something with baby olympia like feeding her or dressing her (in a super cute outfit 'cause thena is a fashion icon) and Gil is watching them, falling more in love with his girls, feeling grateful that he came back to Thena and that their little her was born. Just Gil being soft for his girls. 🩷

Gil keeps an eye on them - his girls - in the corner of the room.

Thena calls it 'feeding', which it is in some ways. She sits in the rocking chair Phastos constructed for them, and she holds Olympia, and both of them enter a dreamlike state as Cosmic Energy slowly leaves Thena and is absorbed by their little supernova.

Their little miracle--Gil still can't believe it.

He can't even believe that he's alive, for starters. His last memory is of him on his back on the amazon forest floor, looking up at Thena (much to her dismay). But he remembers she was smiling until the moment he closed his eyes.

Next thing he knows, he's alive again, Sersi has saved the world, there's a Celestial sticking out of the ocean and he and Thena have catching up to do. And then Thena is pregnant.

No one saw it coming, of course. No one could have. They all thought of Ajak often during the process of it all, but they were on their own for it. Thank all the stars in the sky for Sersi, and Phastos. All their siblings, of course.

Druig and Sprite are most wary of the baby, no matter how they love her. Sprite excels at entertaining young Olympia, if nothing else. She does seem amused by Druig, as if his constantly reading her young mind has established a somewhat two-way connection.

Kingo says he doesn't like that, because he should be her favourite. He and Phastos argue on that often. But, although Makkari bouncing and jogging her (gently!) around the Domo is fun for them both, Sersi is of course Thena's chosen second mother for their child.

And there could be no better, he agrees. Sersi has always been the most human, and the most connected to the ways of the heart. She's sweet, and warm, and has an awareness of the soul that none of the rest of them possess.

Gil admits this freely; he has only one soul to which his is linked.

It's strange to think that his wife has now lived part of her life without him, and yet to him he has spent not even a day without her. But he can see how she's worn out by what she's endured. He wishes he could take it on for her; it's not fair.

Gil walks into their shared room. It's still just his personal quarters in the Domo--far from luxurious. Phastos did do them the kindness of engineering an expansion, just into the next room, but the extra space was still appreciated.

There is also a small crib for Olympia, mere steps away from the bed.

He chuckles, looking at the little mobile above it. It's a simple thing, but Thena did whittle and paint it herself. There are dinosaurs and pegasi and also regular birds. A whole history's worth of creatures.

They all guessed he would be the one who would be unable to bear being away from Olympia. And they are right, but it's Thena who has the most acute anxiety about it.

Only by his and Sersi's convincing did she allow them to install the crib at all. If it were up to Thena, she would be holding their child in her arms until the day she was Sprite's height.

Gil kneels down in front of his beautiful girls. Olympia is sleeping soundly, absorbing little dewdrops of Cosmic Energy from her mother like a meadow receives the rain. Sersi reasons that human children often need extra vitamins and nutrients besides in just their food; perhaps this is the same.

He brushes his fingers over his daughter's tiny head; she really does look like a tiny Thena, although he thinks her hair is getting a little darker just at the roots. He kisses her little forehead. She scrunches her face. "I'm sorry, my little sunburst."

"You're here."

He smiles up at his wife, her enchanting green eyes affixed to him. She looks even more stunning since bringing Olympia into the world. "I'm here."

It's become a kind of greeting for them. Thena will voice those words as if one day he won't affirm them. But he has no right to worry about that when it's very possible that she has experienced that in some form or another.

He leans up, capturing her lips against his tenderly.

Thena sighs as they part, her head tilting lazily as she relaxes that last little bit. Her eyes shine at him, "she's strong."

The connection between Warrior Eternal and her progeny is one that brings tears to his eyes. He moves the back of his knuckle against his daughter's cheek, "I know. Look who her mother is."

Thena lets him kiss her cheek with reverence. "To say nothing of her father. Two of the galaxy's deadliest--she will be a force to be reckoned with."

"She," Gilgamesh pats the soft of his palm against Olympia's head, "will never have to know battle, so long as we live."

"Yes," Thena sighs, letting herself believe his reassurance. She inhales, adjusting her arms, "here."

It's a simple thing, but it moves him that she trusts him so completely with their daughter. Of course she does, he is her father. But he knows Thena--knows the way she twitches and flinches and watches. She is made to be vigilant, after all, and even with their own family, she is always keenly aware of their daughter's whereabouts.

But with him, she hands her over. Thena has no question about his ability to prioritise and protect their child.

He makes room as she stands from the chair. She wobbles faintly and he moves so she can lean into his side. "Easy."

He isn't entirely sure what takes place during the 'feedings'. Because he also makes her regular old milk and feeds that to her. But Phastos and Druig alike cannot fathom what takes place between mother and child and their connection of energy.

Thena nuzzles her face into his shoulder.

"You're tired," he chuckles, holding their daughter in one arm and his wife in the other. "Nap with me."

Thena mumbles faintly. And while he doesn't hear it, he knows it's because she wants them to have Olympia in the bed in between them, instead of in the crib.

"We talked about this," he reminds her as he oh-so gently lays Olympia down on the little cot within the high walls. "You trust Sersi."

"Of course I trust Sersi," she grumbles, as if she is not grinding her teeth in her head to distract from her separation anxiety.

"She needs to learn to sleep on her own," he says gently, pulling Thena with him to the bed. "You can't hold her forever, sweetheart."

"We live forever."

He chuckles, careful not to be too loud with his little sunflower in the room. But he tucks some of Thena's hair away from her face and kisses the corner of her amazing lips. "As will she. And that's a long time for her to sleep in her own bedroom."

He can practically hear his wife's feelings about their infant daughter sleeping in a completely separate room. He presses his nose to the sculpted hollow of her cheek. "I will want you all to myself again someday, you know."

That makes her smile. She laughs faintly as he kisses her cheek and pulls them to lie down together. She settles into his chest, his arms wrapped around her, their daughter's tiny breaths reaching their inhuman ears. "You have your priorities I see."

"I do," he answers honestly, rubbing Thena's back and burying his nose in the hair at the top of her head. "It's my two girls, always. My new little star and the sun of my galaxy."

"Hm," Thena allows him to relish the contact with her. "I shall pretend that's sweet, instead of you being eager to bed me again."

"I can be a sweet and loving father, and also your husband, y'know."

[br1ghtestlight]

bob saying that teddy isnt his friend he's just a customer in season five when literally LAST SEASON he invited teddy over for thanksgiving and said that he was family is kinda funny like what are u talking about man

[piplupod]

really wish people would be kinder about preventative measures. i am tired of being treated like I am paranoid for wearing a mask, for wearing tick repellent when hiking, even for simple shit like wearing sunscreen ??? 😭😭😭 can people just be like... chill about other ppls choices. esp if theyre preventative measures that will keep you and your body safe from shit that makes ur life worse? just be cool idk goddamn :[

[magentagalaxies]

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating