#no one will write fanfic about this movie either but i DO want to go swimming now

[mylittleredgirl]

there are many good reasons not to see avatar but if you DO see avatar definitely see the 3D version. the entire movie is effects. same movie as the first one just underwater now. also if you are wearing 3D glasses it is less obvious that you will cry like seven times.

[tmntxthings]

。・゜( rules & masterlist)・゜・。

Rules: (below rules is the masterlist & link to my fic recs <3)

1.) This blog is for all tmnt characters/versions, so if you don’t see someone on my masterlist, it means I have yet to write/receive a request for them!

2.) If I have not done your request it could either be because I got super busy with real life, or I did not have enough inspiration/motivation. If you absolutely want me to write something specific pm me and we can talk it through

3.) Tipping is very much appreciated & I would definitely be willing to write for payment.

4.) I do not write nsfw content for underage characters.

5.) If you do not specify in your request the reader will be gender neutral, but I can write for fem/male/etc.

(sadly this is a side blog so i can’t respond to comments but they are lovely to see <333)

【tmntxthings fic recommendations 】

—————————————————————————

。・゜・Masterlist ↓

Key: ★ = fluff, ☆ = angst, □ = incomplete, ✅ = complete

Rise Turtles ❤️💙💜🧡

。・゜・head canons・゜・。

food issues ★ ☆

╭⁎the one where reader has a hard time eating⁎╯

workaholic ★ ☆

╭⁎ the one where reader won’t take a break ⁎╯

high schoolers ★ + April O’Neil

╭⁎ turtle high school profile ⁎╯

turtle doctors ★

╭⁎ where the reader is sick & the turtles take care of you ⁎╯

don’t touch him ★ ☆

╭⁎ where the reader saves the turtles from the bad guys ⁎╯

heartbreak ★ ☆

╭⁎ where the reader is going through a rough breakup and the turtles are there for them ⁎╯

haunted house shenanigans ★

╭⁎ the turtles reactions at a haunted house ⁎╯

after the end ☆

╭⁎ where the reader helps the turtles out after the events of the movie ⁎╯

humans, mutants, & ghosts! ★ ☆

╭⁎ where the reader can see and hear ghosts ⁎╯

solace with you ☆ ★

╭⁎ the one where reader gets hurt/comfort or the turtles get hurt/comfort ⁎╯

the smallest ★

╭⁎ where the reader is exponentially smaller than the turtles ⁎╯

next to you ★ + April O’Neil

╭⁎ where reader struggles to sleep at the slumber party until they move next to [insert turtle] ⁎╯

in this world ★ + April O’Neil

╭⁎ where reader is a reality shifter and the turtles’s reaction to an otherworldly friend ⁎╯

turtle taps ★

╭⁎ where the brothers instincts as ‘turtles’ kick in with their reader ⁎╯

love potions: roles reversed ★

╭⁎ where leo, raph, and donnie get their chance at experiencing their reader under love potion influence ⁎╯

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

lost & found | pt. 2 ☆

╭⁎ where the reader is the turtles long lost!sibling raised by draxum ⁎╯

secret powers ☆

╭⁎ the one where the reader has cool powers ⁎╯

Rise Raphael ❤️🐢👊💥

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

your protector ☆ ★

╭⁎ where the reader gets kidnapped ⁎╯

make you feel loved ★

╭⁎ where raph ‘accidentally’ drinks a love potion from the Hidden City⁎╯

only with you ★

╭⁎ a usually bubbly!reader gets a little shy with just raph in the room ⁎╯

fright at first sight ☆

╭⁎ baxter stockboy is a little menace and reader is scared & raph is just doing his best, okay? ⁎╯

a ‘how to’ guide by raphael ★

╭⁎ where raph gives donnie some love advice ⁎╯

。・゜・series・゜・。

prequel one → cherrypie → ★ ☆ □

╭⁎ where the reader is a villain & raph is about to find that out ⁎╯

2k12 Raphael

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

fire breather ★

╭⁎ where reader is a softie but can kick some booty when needed ⁎╯

welcome to the family ☆ ★

╭⁎ where the reader is a mutant child that the turtles save ⁎╯

there i said it ☆

╭⁎ where raph speaks his mind to the reader ⁎╯

double trouble ★

╭⁎ where reader can handle themselves ⁎╯

nightly watch ☆

╭⁎ yandere!raph who’s decided reader needs to be protected and only he can do it best ⁎╯

Rise Leonardo 💙⚔️🐢😎

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

fanfic tease ★

╭⁎ reader is touch starved and reads fanfic to cope ⁎╯

a sword runaway | part two ★

╭⁎ where leo runs around the lair chasing after you and his swords ⁎╯

sugar pie honey bunch ★

╭⁎ where leo drinks a love potion ⁎╯

young!rise donnie & leo ★

╭⁎ young disaster twins up late ⁎╯

in your arms ★

╭⁎ where the reader is tall & strong and can easily swoop Leo into a hug ⁎╯

for the key ☆

╭⁎ escape pod scene from the rise movie & reader yells at leo ⁎╯

while you sleep ☆

╭⁎ where dreamwalker!reader helps leo with a nightmare ⁎╯

anyone call for a hero? ☆

╭⁎ where reader is in trouble and leo tries to save the day ⁎╯

exercise ★

╭⁎ where leo invites over reader to ‘exercise’ with their lips ;3 ⁎╯

every inch ★

╭⁎ inspired by the song, leo’s come to the realization that he loves you ⁎╯

dreamscape ★

╭⁎ leo helps reader fall asleep ⁎╯

blast from the past ☆

╭��� future!leo has a hard time coping when he see’s you in this universe ⁎╯

。・゜・series・゜・。

falling in love ★ ☆ □

╭⁎ where reader & leo have a slowburn but not rlly ⁎╯

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven |

heart to heart ★ ☆ □

╭⁎ where leo wears a cloaking brooch and reader is none the wiser until the lies don’t add up ⁎╯

part one | part two | part three?

2k12 Leonardo

。・゜・headcanons・゜・。

good deeds, good gifts ★

╭⁎ platonic relationship between wealthy!reader and leo ⁎╯

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

welcome to the family ☆ ★

healing hands ☆

╭⁎ where reader is in trouble and leo comes to the rescue ⁎╯

Rise Donatello 💜👾🐢😈

。・゜・ drabbles ・゜・。

toaster | pt. 2 ★

╭⁎ reader has object empathy ⁎╯

aesthetic/profile application ★

╭⁎ moon board + how i think donnie would fill out a profile application ⁎╯

ruin this moment ☆

╭⁎ where donnie imagines you were there, next to him ⁎╯

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

inside my heart ★

╭⁎ the one where reader & donnie are shy shy ⁎╯

started with a spark ★

╭⁎ the one where donnie gets doused with a love potion ⁎╯

young!rise donnie & leo ★

what are you waiting for | pt. 2 ★

╭⁎ where the reader is chubby and donnie is smitten ⁎╯

i can do it better ☆ ★

╭⁎ where the reader also likes making tech & donnie gets a bit egotistical ⁎╯

mathematically inclined ★

╭⁎ the one where the reader needs help with a math exam ⁎╯

practice ★

╭⁎ where fem!reader and donnie have a movie makeout ⁎╯

deadly nerd duel ☆ ★

╭⁎ where reader and donnie get off on the wrong foot & things go haywire ⁎╯

pain & understanding ☆

╭⁎ where donnie returns hurt and reader gets upset ⁎╯

don’t wanna fall in love ★

╭⁎ short drabble of donnie’s inner thoughts on how he definitely is not in love with you ⁎╯

a perpetual role ☆

╭⁎ where donnie cheers up the reader who is tired of feeling stuck in the silly friend role ⁎╯

literature at its finest ★

╭⁎ where the reader is reading fanfics and donnie is tired of being ignored ⁎╯

the tactical bandwagon ☆

╭⁎ tactical!donnie x target!reader ⁎╯

。・゜・series・゜・。

. . . . . .

2k12 Donatello

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

purple savior | pt.2 ★

╭⁎ where donnie saves the reader from falling off a building ⁎╯

precious ☆

╭⁎ where yandere!donnie protects you and is never going to let you go ⁎╯

welcome to the family ☆ ★

Rise Michelanglo 🧡🍕🌇🐢

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

my muse ★

╭⁎ the one where both mikey & reader sip on a love potion ⁎╯

the favorite ★

╭⁎ where the reader tries to say that they don’t have a favorite but low and behold…⁎╯

sweet like honey ★

╭⁎ where mikey falls in love at first sight and waits for you to catch up ⁎╯

stay in my memories ☆

╭⁎ where mikey wishes to get over you and this never-ending relationship ⁎╯

。・゜・series・゜・。

orange graffiti ★ ☆ □

╭⁎ where reader has a criminal record & mikey knows you’re better than your past ⁎╯

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six |

2k12 Michelangelo

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

welcome to the family ☆ ★

Rise Casey Jones Jr.

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

a witch’s kitchen | part two

╭⁎ where reader is a witch & casey accidently drinks your love potion ⁎╯

.

.

.

.

。・゜・oneshots・゜・。

a witch’s kitchen | pt. 2 ★

╭⁎ where casey drinks the witch!reader’s love potion ⁎╯

.

[l0serloki]

If that's not a problem can I request Gekko, Neon and Jett (separate headcanons or fanfics) x Overworked fem! reader?

The reader studies on the computer (back hurts, neck hurts from sitting in one position and typing for such a long time) and does college projects almost all nights and attends classes during the day. Unfortunately, the reader does not have much time for herself and the requested characters...☹️

The characters are fed up with the stressed out reader and decide to sneak up on us from behind in the middle of the night (scaring us in the process) and try to help? Back massages, neck kisses etc

Overworked!

(Gekko, Jett, Neon)

CW : Anxiety, overworked fem!reader, body pains

A/N : Gekko was actually a lot of fun to write for! Thanks for the request! :)

Gekko : 

When he gets back from missions and still sees you at the desk… he’s not happy.

Of course it’s not your fault! He thinks youre so ambitious and driven to work for that long but he worries. A LOT.

He’s an emotional kinda guy! He’s direct when asking anyone how they feel and checking up. His ‘little buddies’ will check on you as well! (Dizzy sleeping in your lap <3)

He will massage your neck and slowly convince you to come lay in bed. Besides, he can’t sleep without his girl!

Gekko had left two days ago with Reyna and Sage for a recovery mission. You had been in your shared apartment typing away for college classes, time blurring together. It wasn’t until the main door opened that you realized. You had really been autopiloting work for two days. Shaking your head, you continued to type.

A sigh was heard from behind you and cold hands trailed your neck.

“Babe, you’ve gotten up.. Right?” Your boyfriend leaned down to peck your temple. Your bloodshot eyes scrunched at the affection.

“Yeah. I ordered food earlier. It’s in the fridge.” You mumbled, body still tense at the thought of the essay. 

“Yeah.. That’s great. But you know what’s even better?” Gekko’s breath tickled your ear as his hand shut the laptop. Your eyes widened, anxiety coursing through your veins.

“Why would you do that!? I have so much work to do!” You screeched, eyes meeting his. He shrugged and pulled you out of the office chair. 

“Maybe because you’ve been doing that for days? You are human! Not KAY/O! Well.. He wouldn’t work himself like this either. Babe, you need to find an equal balance. We are taking a break. It’s not a relationship if I talk to a wall.” 

You took deep breaths, nodding along. What he was saying was correct but you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself. The world wouldn’t end if you didn’t work 24/7 and the papers weren’t due for days. Your heart clenched at the thought of Gekko talking to himself and being lonely.

“You’re right. I love you and I’m sorry.” His strong arms buried you in his chest, stroking at your scalp.

“No need, beautiful. I’ll always have your back.”

Jett : 

She will get annoyed if you don’t give her time.

She knows your work is important but come on.. At least give her five minutes!

“I know it’s not about me and you need time for work.. I just need you to give yourself a break. Okay?”

Kisses your neck and cheek, grabbing your hand to help you stretch. 

“Let’s go grab a snack and watch a movie. Sound good?”

Your girlfriend was NOT having another work day. You were currently being dragged through the house, far far away from the office.

“I love you but we are not having another one of these days. You hear me? You’ve totally ignored me for three days straight! I was respectful about it but you know you’re not the only one in the relationship. It’s not even that! You need to give yourself a damn break!” Jett waved her hands around as she spoke down to you. 

She was right.. It was a bit much. You couldn’t even remember the last time you ate. 

“You’re right. Sorry, baby. I love you too.” You reached up, lips pecking at hers. She hummed at the simple affection, hand trailing down your collar bone. 

“Good. Come on, let’s get you something to eat. We can watch a movie and cuddle on the couch after.” A large grin was plastered on her face as she yanked your sore body up, feet already trekking to the kitchen. 

You smiled back, murmuring a “Sounds good”.

Neon : 

“Look at my studious girlfriend. I may be fast but damn.. Your typing skills might beat me.”

Her fingers run down your arm, tracing patterns all over your skin. 

She’ll give you some time to finish up any sentences but once she’s in the room.. Work is done!

“Babe, drink your water and stand up. I’m gonna stretch out your back!” 

She knows how to help with tense muscles since she runs A LOT. Talk about a lifesaver for a sore neck.

Neon’s fingers worked on your arms, lips dusting across your neck. She had finally convinced you to ditch the computer and give yourself a break from the draining school work. Your eyes drooped at the simple touches and comfort of the bed.

“This is a better alternative to work. Besides, you need rest. Close those pretty eyes.” Neon teased as she pulled you flush against her. You had to agree with her - it really was better. Besides, it had been days since the two of you had been able to have a moment together.

“You’re right. Thanks for everything. I love you.” You yawned, giving your girlfriend a soft smile as you drifted off to sleep.

“I love you too, little nerd.”

[shadowbends]

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS)

It’s me again, folks. Do you enjoy good fanfic? We’re reaching the end of the line, but I’m here to hook you up! Whether you’re new to the fandom and diving into the ROTTMNT fic scene for the first time, or a veteran looking for content you might have missed, my hope for this project is to point you to something you’ll enjoy!

This rec list is the last of three and focuses on longfic in the fandom, with a word count reaching anywhere over 15,000 words. You’ll find a variety of fic here, from novellas to full-blown novels—some complete, but many still ongoing! Though it may be heresy on the streets of New York, this is the list you want when you’re craving something really thick to sink your teeth into: a sit-down experience exploding with flavor. Don’t have time for that, actually? Then consider checking out my previous rec lists as well!

NEW YORK STYLE, BABY!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (UNDER 5,000 WORDS)

STUFFED CRUST!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (BETWEEN 5,000 AND 15,000 WORDS)

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS) — You’re here!

If you enjoy any of these fics, make sure to reblog and spread the love! Don’t forget to check out the other works by these authors; many of them have written multiple wonderful stories not featured here that are just as good. Additionally, consider leaving the authors a comment! I’m not always the best at that myself, but fic writers work hard and deserve all the love in the world.

With all of that said, it’s time for the recs. Let’s dig in!

Quick note: On previous lists, I separated the recs by the general time period they took place in. I’m not going to that here, largely because—uh. Well. Nearly all of them are post-movie! This fandom’s sure been active in the last couple of months, huh? Given that, I’ll be sorting them by a broader method, but yes. If you’ve not seen the movie, this is your warning that spoilers abound in the recs below. 

➤ ➤ ➤ CANON COMPLIANT

The Aftermath by Starrcrossrose

57,262 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 11/03/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Leo-centric)

Genre: Angst, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort

It would’ve been easier to say what he was feeling, but he honestly didn’t know how. He wasn’t sure why, either. He knew his brothers would understand and comfort him and be there if he wanted them to be. Hell, Donnie’s surprise sleepover and everyone showing up for it in the living room had been proof of that.

Yet he still couldn’t do it. He’d tried to talk to Donnie and the pain on his brother’s face had been enough to make him never want to speak about things ever again. He didn’t want them to hurt the way he did; he wanted them to be okay and normal and happy.

You know they aren’t happy. Why do you keep pretending to be fine when the others aren’t either?

Leo squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into his knees as he pulled himself into an even tighter ball. He wanted to go into his shell as much as possible, but at the same time, a searing energy was making his legs feel like he could run or swim for miles. He could just go and go and go until he collapsed.

Maybe… maybe that'll help.

Set a few months after the movie, Leo struggles with the long recovery time needed for his injuries to heal, both physical and mental. Unable to talk about it, he turns to unhealthy coping methods instead. The rest of the family is doing no better from the fallout of the invasion, however, with each of their own stresses mounting the longer things go unaddressed. That is until Chapter 8, when things come to a head...

There are a lot of post-movie recovery fics out there, each one unique. The Aftermath’s hallmark has to be in its slowburn foreshadowing, and excellent character writing. Throughout many chapters, we get a glimpse into the heads of just about every beloved character the series has to offer, including April and Casey Jr. Little clues to what’s going to go wrong are set up early on, but just like the characters, I was blind to how serious of a turn things were about to take until the problem finally reared its head. This fic does a good job of showing how important it is to talk to one another, even if it’s hard.

Aftershocks by Katiemonz, McBethins, octolingkiera, theashemarie, and this_kills_the_man

153,543 words, 12/15 chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Family Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

“Good game,” Leo said to Donnie, smiling at Mikey in the same sly way as before.

“Thank you, Leonardo, but as I’ve said Uno is—”

“But you still lost,” Leo continued. He swept the cards up and began to straighten them for another shuffle.

“Second place is hardly—”

“Honorary title,” Leo cut in again. “Mikey won, so we owe him.”

“Owe him what? I have—”

“Keep your money, Don. In this game we’re dealing in secrets.”

“Secrets.”

“Yeah, specifically what’s up in that brilliant, big head of yours after all that Krang shit. C’mon. You owe him one secret.”

Picking up from the end of the invasion but spanning the weeks after, the day’s been won, but no one came out of the Krang’s attack completely unscathed. There’s a lot of trauma to unpack here—unfortunately, talking about it is the last thing just about anyone in the family wants to do. 

Another recovery fic, Aftershocks is unique for being a story told from five perspectives (the boys and April), as written by five different authors. As the brothers avoid each other, each arc’s events end up having quite the different take depending on whose POV you’re currently following, even in moments where the same scene is being retold. Truly an ensemble fic that focuses on everyone’s trauma, I’ve especially enjoyed that April was included. As the longest fic on this list, Aftershocks is heavy on introspection and exposition, but the characterization always manages to shine through in the details. I especially love the scene I quoted above; “Trauma Uno” is totally a concept I could see the boys coming up with. 

A Tale of Spirits by unorthodoxx

47,202 words, 6/? chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Ensemble

Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Crossover

"I need to find my brothers," Raph mumbles.  "That's if they're even here."

"And then head back to the spirit world."

"It's not the spirit world!"

"Right," Toph grins. "This so-called 'other dimension' without benders."

"There are no benders in my world."

Toph reaches and places a hand on scaled skin.  Huge muscles twitch under her palm and the spirit stops.  "No benders?"

"Yes!"

She nods.  "Like the spirit world."

Raph throws his arms up with a scream and Toph cackles.

For a crossover, this fic requires quite a bit of investment in the second fandom to follow; you’ll want to have seen all of ATLA Season 1, and potentially even Season 2 if you want to keep track of what’s going on, especially for moments when episodes are retold, but with the turtles added in. Additionally, the POV is solely with the ATLA characters. Is this fic worth recommending despite that? Abso-freaking-lutely. This might be one of the most creative crossovers I’ve seen in any fandom, and I’m absolutely hooked.

The plot is deceptively straightforward—the four turtles mysteriously appear in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender, separated and with no idea where the brothers are. Their arrival changes everything, with the people of the world seeing them as powerful spirits and guardians. I won’t spoil who ends up with who beyond what’s shown in the excerpt, but it paves the way for fascinating political intrigue and character development on all sides, our fave turtles included. Donatello’s position is perhaps the most fascinating for what may come of it, but everyone’s new groupings have been an utter delight. The banter feels charming and wholly in-character, and I can’t wait to read more. This is definitely a fic to keep your eye on, if you’ve not found it already.

Brother Dearest by Wardenov

69,666 words, 22/? chapters (last updated 11/03/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Donnie-centric)

Genre: Drama, Sci-Fi, Horror

“You came here looking for answers, weakling, because you messed with powers far beyond your understanding.” “I’m not-” She doesn’t let him continue. “Our brother may be dead, but the glory of our kind is that we are never truly defeated, not as long as our mark remains.” And as if to make her point, she raises a tentacle and delicately touches the glass - tendrils spawning from the point of contact, rapidly expanding across the surface like a frenzied contagion before freezing in place and crumbling under the extreme cold. “We cull the weak and assimilate those worthy, we bestow the blessing of Krang upon those who deserve it. You-” she spits, remaining tentacles scrambling to climb the glass where Donnie stood, “-you have stolen our gift.”

He says nothing.

“But,” she continues, sadistic smile returning, “your transgressions have ensured our survival. Our continued conquest. Whether you like it or not.”

Set a few months after the Krang’s invasion, things have seemingly gone back to normal for the Hamato family. Everyone’s doing their best to get by, and back to familiar routines and hobbies. Donnie, though? His newest project throws all of that into new chaos, showing that no matter how well-meaning, there are some things man (and turtle) was never meant to tamper with. 

I’m absolutely feral for this fic, and desperate to impress upon anyone seeing this why they should read it. It might be one of the very best fics the fandom has to offer. Seriously. You want plot and worldbuilding on par with the Season 3 we never got? Exploration of the Hidden City, and the Council of Heads that run it? High stakes, suspense, action, and family drama? Look no further, fam. Brother Dearest has it all, and every character (even Mayhem!) has a big role to play. April’s sleuthing, Mikey further develops his new mystic powers, Leo has some heavy choices to make as leader, and Raph isn’t as home free after the Krang invasion as he thought. Make no mistake, though, the star of this show is Donnie in his unwitting supervillain arc. Will his family be able to save him from himself? Only time and new chapters can tell, but this fic dug its claws into my heart and won’t let go, it’s so good. 

Drift and Chemical Reaction by Bronte

26,949 words, 7/7 chapters (split between two fics)

Character Focus: Donatello & Leonardo, Ensemble

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding

"Piña colada?"

"What the—?" Donnie cuts him off before he can finish, cramming a green and yellow striped straw between his teeth. Leo wears some of it, the yellow, smoothie-like drink dribbling down his plastron. "Wait, where did you—what is this?"

Donnie smirks. "Pineapple, coconut, rum. A taste of the tropics."

Leo blinks and glances down apprehensively at the ‘Better Late than Ugly’ mug in his hand. "...does this have alcohol in it?"

"Does this have—pfft, I would never. Do you know who I am? Donatello, upstanding citizen of Manhattan proper?" Donnie barks a laugh, tossing his head back before leveling him with a look. "Of course there is. As the Bard himself said, self-love, my brother, is not so vile a sin as self-neglect."

As two sides of the same story, these fics are being recommended together! Set after the movie, Drift is told from Leonardo’s POV, both during and after leaving the prison dimension, where Chemical Reaction tells the story from Donatello’s POV. 

The real charm of this fic, though? It has to be the banter. Reading this, I could totally hear the character’s voices in my head, which was only made better once the piña coladas came in. You think the twins are disasters; just wait until they’re drunk. These fics would be worth reccing on their own for that scene alone, but there’s actually a little bit of plot involved as well as Leo struggles to regain his ninpo, while Donnie... Well, something weird is going on with Donnie. Needless to say, both of these are a great read!

Every Night the Longest Day by ashtreelane

33,731 words, 13/? chapters (last updated 10/27/2022)

Character Focus: Leonardo & Family

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Medical Drama

“What’s wrong, Leo?” Raph asks from where he is curled around him, the snapper’s chin nestled on the top of his head.

“Can’t sleep,” Leo mutters. He smells worry, sudden and sharp, and when he opens his eyes Raph has whipped around to look at Donnie, eyes blown wide, looking for an answer. Donnie is looking at him too, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“We- okay. Raph, don't freak out. This is to be expected, remember?” Donnie is saying, his voice just barely on the wrong side of too calm. He’s freaking out too. Why? What’s happening? Oh, he’s being addressed now, he should probably pay attention.

“Leo, you were cursed six days ago to be unable to fall asleep. Your memory is suffering because of it, but we’re all right here, okay?”

Leo kind of knows what they’re talking about. He remembers it, he remembers that it happened, but the… events are… foggy. What- what had they been talking about?

“What are we talking about?”

When Leo is cursed to be unable to sleep, he and the family must wait for a new moon to break the spell through a ritual. Unfortunately, that new moon is nearly two weeks off. As Leo is forced to stay awake for days on end, his mental and physical condition quickly begins to deteriorate. Through it all, Leo’s family stays by his side to help him through it, beautifully balancing hurt with comfort through the beginning. As the story goes on and Leo’s condition worsens, though... Well. Things aren’t looking good, let’s say.  

I have such a soft spot for this fic, though. It’s grown quite popular lately, so many of you reading this list may have already heard it, but there was a point when I was following early on where the author was debating shifting the POV around or sticking with Leo as an unreliable narrator. I was really proud of them for sticking to their guns and going with the latter, and I think it’s paid off in spades. The way the author experiments with formatting styles and missing scenes really makes the fic stand apart from the standard whump setup, and turns it into something akin to low-key psychological horror. If you’re into that sort of thing it’s a lot of fun; even if you’re not, the moments of family bonding peppered throughout the fic are so wholesome, and definitely worth your time.

Fallout by GauntletKnight

50,677 words, 20/? chapters (last updated 11/05/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama

“We are here. We are alive. Raph and Mikey are downstairs. Dad and April and Casey are on the way. You’re alright, Leo. You’re safe. We are all safe. No one is here to hurt you…or us.” There is no special inflection to his voice, but his words are firm, unmoving. Leo shakes for a moment, squeezing Donnie’s hand…and then he blinks, his eyes clear and he tries to take a breath.

Violent coughs wrack his body as he tries to dislodge the blood that had built up from his sobs. Bright red spatters down his front and across Donnie’s hands as he holds onto Leo’s arm. Each breath is like nails on a chalkboard.

Draxum steps in instantly, checking the monitor for vitals. “I’ve gotta get to that punctured lung…or else getting this blood transfusion in him isn’t going to do anything.” He turns to Donnie, holding out plastic gloves, “Can you-”

Leo shakes his head, finally getting a rattling breath into his chest. “N-no…Don’s…not great with this kind of thing. S’ok…he’s so good at everything else he had to leave some for the rest of us.” He smiles up at Donnie like Donnie hung the damn moon and stars, his eyes still shining with painful tears. It’s…a weirdly genuine moment between the two of them…

Donnie doesn’t like it.

Set between the final fight and grabbing a slice in the movie, this fic follows the immediate aftermath of pulling Leo out of the prison dimension with a bit more urgency and attention to everyone’s injuries. 

As I’ve said before, every movie recovery fic I’ve found has their hallmark, and I’d say Fallout’s is its heart and emotion. By focusing on the aftermath of the battle where everyone’s stresses are still running high, there’s a lot going on here, and it makes for some tense, but evocative moments. The story is lightly focused on Leo’s mental state especially, but everyone is going through it and as the POV shifts every chapter, each character gets some focus as they work through their injuries and messy feelings. Fallout is very satisfying read, and one I often come back to over and over.

hamartia by Punable

40,364 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 10/30/2022)

Character Focus: Donatello & Family

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

It felt nothing like how he imagined dying would feel.

Donatello was a man of science, so it would have been foolish of him to have not, over the years, devised theories around what results certain situations would generate, what or who they might take out of commission, and what he would need to do personally in order to gain the best possible outcome. He would sometimes note down how he believed these situations might affect him or his brothers, both physically or mentally - he wasn’t an expert on emotions, far from it, but he could at least logically assume that getting, say, struck by lightning (one of his planned-for possibilities) would leave its own traumatic scar on any man or turtle that happened to experience it, so he’d dragged in April for those certain emotional areas and promptly abandoned her as a research partner when she’d told him he was being obsessive. He was not obsessive, just thorough.

He couldn’t help but feel as though some of that research time may have been wasted, though, as he lay on his side, his newest project slash rework shattered into almost unsalvageable pieces on the floor across from him. (And really, that felt almost like the harshest blow - how was anyone except him supposed to salvage that hunk of junk? Was that all that he was leaving behind?)

He felt it had been time wasted, maybe, because dying didn’t feel at all like the soft, slowing breaths of passing peacefully into sleep, or the fast tight gasping of someone going out from a bullet wound. If anything, it felt like he was breathing too deeply, every breath filling his whole body and stretching out every wound and puncture and fracture, oxygen making his head light (or maybe that was the blood loss). He didn’t feel at peace, and he certainly didn’t feel as scared as he thought he should’ve been, as he had read he should have been.

Mostly, it just felt like an inconvenience.

Donnie almost dies, and that’s just the start of this angsty tale. What follows is an interesting exploration of what Donatello thinks of himself and his role in the team, and his family’s growing concerns when he won’t give himself time to recover. Donnie’s brush with death has lasting consequences, and a large part of the fic is dedicated both to how much they affect him and how long he can hide it from his family (and the audience). Once the truth comes out, though? Oof. 

The newfound disability is handled well, imo, and you really feel for everyone involved. There’s a lot about mental health that the author just does really well in general, actually. The focus on family and everyone’s concerns for their brother is where this fic really shines, though, and there’s a lot of emotion that hits just right. Basically, the hurt is done so well, I’m looking forward to when we get to more comfort.

i go there with you by bobtheacorn

21,649 words, 15/? chapters (last updated 11/04/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Humor

"But seriously," Donnie says seriously, brandishing his tablet screen above Mikey's head and pointing at it, "I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you be Very Honest when I ask you to scale your pain using this -" He cuts his eyes toward Raph, who grins. "Emoji Scale. Which dramatization would you say you find the most relatable at the moment?"

"Okay, so defo… this guy," Leo says. He thinks he manages to lift his finger but that's all the juice he's got. "On the… left."

"That would be the thumbs-up emoji, Leo," Raph says cautiously.

"Awww," Mikey gushes, "Is that one because you love us?"

"Hang on," Leo says around another small huff of maybe-laughter, "You… can't prove anything. But also…" He moves his finger again. "Also this guy on the… on the far r-right. Like, for-real for real."

"Oh, the sad-angry-crying emoji, fantastic," Donnie says with a bit more pep, tossing the tablet and turning to Splinter, who's closest to the monitor, "Papa, would you do Leo a huge favor and smash that morphine button, please? Like, right now, immediately."

Set immediately after the invasion. This fic is a series of interconnected one-shots originally written for Whumptober, but by Chapter 9 breaks into its own thing. The whump remains a focus, but it’s tempered by a good dose of comfort and humor as well, which the author is a master of. 

If you want a recovery fic after the events of the movie that matches the feeling of the show, i go there with you is the fic to start with. The characterization and banter are spot on, as is the emotional whiplash. All of the characters gets some love and introspection in this one too, which is always fun.

Now That’s What I Call A Vacation! by WayWardWatson

56,238 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Splinter & Family

Genre: Family Bonding, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort

Splinter turned his attention back to Big Mama, the flirtatious mood from earlier dissipating. “I am calling in your favor.”

It was like he had slapped her with his rat tail with how she reared back in visible disgust. Her fangs clicked in irritation and she scuttled further down, closer to where Splinter was standing. “Remind me, when have I ever owed you a measly-weasly favor?”

“When you misused demon armor for profit that nearly resulted in the end of human and yokai kind alike?” Splinter evenly said. “Oh, and the time I rubbed your feet, all eight of them, when you were on bedrest.”

“I thought that was an act of love.”

“Kindness.” He corrected because his heart hurt too much when she said love. “I was being kind. Though, if you want,” Again, his voice dipped into a purr, splaying out his arms wide in open invitation. “You could be kind enough to give me and my family a free round trip to Japan? I know you can do it.”

More scuttling as a low hiss escaped her maw. “That is a big, dimbly favor to ask.”

“I thought we were calling those acts of lo- kindness?”

“Why,” She drew the word out as she finally reached the bottom and pressed her broach. Suddenly, a swirl of light engulfed Big Mama and, with a whoosh of mystic energy that smelt like nutmeg, he watched as her stature began to diminish. Just as quickly, the light fractured and then separated into small motes of bioluminescent dust, casting a dim, golden glow around them. Now in human form, Big Mama stepped in close enough to touch. “Do you want to go to Japan?”

Without thinking, Splinter’s eyes trailed down then up and he swallowed. His heart was beginning to pick up, but certainly not from fear. He took a moment to gather himself. “My children need a vacation.”

Splinter takes one look at the S2 finale and the movie and decides that’s it, this family needs a break. Deals are made, mystic disguise brooches are acquired, itineraries are made, and with that, the family (including April!) are off on an exciting vacation to Japan! As with all scenarios involving the Hamato Clan, however, nothing goes so simply.

You’re getting so much bang for your buck picking up this fic. A family trip to Japan is charming in and of itself—and the author has done so much research on the country that some passages feels like taking a tour of your own—but this fic actually has a lot going on for it. How they even get to Japan involves some fun mystic worldbuilding, and the cloaking brooches open the door to interesting commentary on body dysphoria. And of course, things take quite a turn when the fam runs into a figure from Splinter’s past who has questions he struggles to answer. A refreshing story with creative ideas, Now That’s What I Call A Vacation! also has an excellent grasp on all of the characters, in and out of vacation mode. It’s a darling read.

odd man out by cosmocrow

22,676 words, 4/? chapters (last updated 10/29/2022)

Character Focus: Future Leonardo & Leonardo, Future Leonardo & Casey, The Hamato Family

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama

“Master Splinter,” he greets, almost impressed by the fact that his voice isn’t wavering like he feared it would. “I’m sorry for barging in– like. Barging into your timeline? I– I can explain.” He really can’t, but that isn’t the point.

Splinter only raises a hand. “Don’t worry, Casey has brought us up to speed.” He turns to deposit the tray onto a cart, before folding his hands into the sleeve of his robe. Leonardo can feel those yellow eyes look him up and down as he straightens up again. Splinter takes a step closer, craning his short neck to be able to look Leonardo in the face. Melancholy dances on his features, but the rat smiles nonetheless.

“Look at you, you’ve gotten so tall, Leonardo.” The soft usage of his name almost makes Leonardo stumble. He hasn’t heard it from his father’s mouth in a long, long time. A familiar burn starts to prickle within his eyes, so he starts blinking in order to quell the itch, pressing his lips together, so his mouth won’t wobble. He isn’t sure why he’s trying – he knows that Splinter knows.

His father always knew everything.

Splinter steps even closer, lifting a hand from within the confines of his sleeves. Like a magnet, Leonardo bends down, so his dad can cup the side of his face. Gently, the old rat rubs his thumb into his cheek, just below his mask, over his red markings. Splinter’s sad little smile falls, and he tugs down the blue mask over Leonardo’s face.

“But,” he says softly, “you look so tired, my son.”

Several months after the movie’s conclusion, a familiar face from Casey’s averted bad future appears, just as everyone else is startling to settle back in. Predictably, this throws everything into confusion.

Tl;dr, Future Leonardo is sent back into the past and has to adjust back to a world sans apocalypse, and the family takes him in with open arms. Things between him and younger Leo are a lot more tenuous, but there’s a resolution early on that feels very true to their personalities—one less sure of himself, and the other who’s learned his lessons the hard way—that resonated strongly with me and made me fall in love with the story. Add to that some genuinely heartwarming moments with the family bonding, and you’re in for a good, if bittersweet time. 

Recoil by unorthodoxx

63,236 words, 10/10 chapters

Character Focus: Ensemble

Genre: Action, Team Bonding, Angst, Crossover

“Hey guys,” he yells.  “You might want to see this.”

It doesn’t take long for the three of them to spill into his lab.  Leo comes in first and drapes himself across the back of Donnie’s chair.  “What’s up?  You find the secret ingredient to Luenzo’s Pizza yet?”

“No,” Donnie scowls.  “They’re locked down tighter than Fort Knox, but it’ll fall soon.  They always do.  No fellas,” He enlarges the email, “We’ve been invited to a meet-up of sorts.”  

Raph’s hand settles heavily on his shoulder as the larger turtle leans in to read.  “Dear Genius Built…….Talk about…….agree to meet…..love…”

“IRONMAN!!?!?”  Mikey shouts.  “THE Ironman wants to meet us!”

“Wow,” Raph whistles.  “The Avengers.  That’s some top-level hero stuff.”

ROTTMNT crosses over with the MCU! Set in a world where both universes exist in the same setting, this fic takes place after the Krang Invasion, but fairly into the MCU’s history, long before the superheroes have their falling out. So long as you have any familiarity with the first Avengers movie, you’ll be able to follow the story fine, as it’s straightforward: the appearance of the Krang was as abrupt as their defeat, and Tony Stark can’t let sleeping dogs lie. After uncovering the turtles’ involvement, an in-person meeting is arranged to handle the fate of the Krang Key.

Most of this fic is just a fun excuse to let the ROTTMNT characters bounce off the MCU characters, and it’s fun to see who gets along and who doesn’t. That’s the thing I love in particular about this story—the author is true enough to their characterization that not everyone is friends by the end, in a way that makes whole sense. The Avengers are disasters themselves, after all. The plot of handling the key is done exceptionally well too, and there’s a lot of high octane action at the end that’s quite thrilling. If you’re looking for a good time, you’ll fine it in Recoil, and if you enjoyed it, there’s more where that came from! The author has planned out several other stories set later on in the same series, the first of which (where the turtles meet Spiderman) is already out. So keep an eye on that!

this kind of weather by ihaveathingforpink

21,526 words, 2/4 chapters (last updated 09/18/2022)

Character Focus: Leonardo & Michelangelo, Raphael & Donatello, Ensemble

Genre: Action, Hurt/Comfort, Crossover

“Well, if it is business you seek, Krang has a proposition for you. There are two turtles Krang wishes for you to…remove from the board as their tenacity has proven to be as obstructive as it is predictable. For our plans to proceed, it’s too dangerous for either to remain alive.”

Takeshi takes another sip before asking, “Turtles? As in the ninja turtles that reside beneath the city, whom everyone pretends doesn’t exist? The people of New York won’t be pleased if I do anything to harm their heroes.”

“Oh, I want you to do more than simply harm them. First, they need to suffer.”

“Suffering costs extra. I don’t do anything for free.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Yet you said two turtles when, last I checked, there’s four.”

“Ah, yes. They are of little concern to me. Krang only need you to get rid of two, and you must follow Krang's instructions precisely. Otherwise, you will fail. First, you will need to get rid of the little orange one; he may not look like much, but he’s one of the strongest mystic warriors of all time. I suggest you handle this one quickly—he can be quite slippery—but the blue one, Krang implores you to take your time.”

This story has one helluva hook. A surviving Krang puts a hit out on Mikey and Leo, and saying more than that would unfortunately spoil the twist of the first chapter. With just two chapters, though, this story is fascinating and deserves a lot more attention than it’s gotten. It has high stakes, great action, and is an emotional roller coaster that doesn’t let up. It’s also a bit of a crossover, though longstanding fans of the TMNT franchise will recognize these faces right away. That’s right, this is a crossover with Usagi Yojimbo! Besides characters of that series, though, there’s also a lot of familiar faces from previous TMNT series that Rise never got enough time to tackle, like Tiger Claw and Renet. 

You can probably guess from the latter’s name that things are about to get timey-wimey up in here, and you’d be correct. There’s an absolutely killer plot at work here, emphasis on the killer, and whether they want to or not the turtles have to take a divide and conquer approach to it while at one of their lowest points. Seriously, check this one out. 

Under Pressure by ParvumAutmaton

21,560 words, 4/4 chapters

Character Focus: The Boys & April

Genre: Suspense, Angst

“You know April, right?” The voice on the other end of the line asked. “You’re one of her gamer friends?”

Donnie blinked. The voice sounded familiar but that didn’t help him at the unholy hour where way too late morphed into way too early.

“And you are?”

“Her mother. Please, did she spend the night at your place?”

“No, she did not,” Donnie answered, forcing himself upright, his exhaustion evaporating with that question. “I believe she was planning on some extracurricular club activity yesterday afternoon. So we weren’t planning on seeing her.”

“I don’t suppose you know which club?”

“No, I do not.”

“Ok,” The waver Donnie heard in her voice implied that it wasn’t. “You will let me know if April gets in touch?”

“Of course Ms. O’Neil.”

The call ended.

Donnie stared at his phone.

One of the few fics on this list not set after the movie, this story takes place after the S2 finale on a dismal day when April goes missing. Investigating her disappearance leads the boys to a van and a lake, and an exploration on the dangers of cave diving. 

As you can guess from that description, this fic has quite the creative setup that’s both atmospheric and suspenseful. Be sure to heed the tags because it does get dark, but it’s still a great read, and the turtles’ determination to find their sister pulls at the heartstrings. 

➤ ➤ ➤ CANON DIVERGENT

big sister by Darth_Sunny

18,090 words, 6/? chapters (last updated 10/24/2022)

Character Focus: April & Family

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

April O’Neil wasn’t an only child anymore. She had four younger brothers, whom she loved with all her heart, and who she’d burned the world down for if anything were to happen to them. She’d fight every ancient mystic evil the world would throw at her if it meant keeping them safe. And if she couldn’t be there for them at the moment, she’d be there for them in the aftermath. She was their big sister, their oldest and only sister. : was the self-proclaimed protector, but even he needed someone to protect him and to help protect their younger brothers.

So that’s why, when she watched the portal close up, slicing the Technodrome in half, stopping the Kraang for good, knowing that he was trapped back in that prison dimension, April O’Neil felt her heart break into hundreds, thousands, millions of little pieces.

This one’s a fic following April’s perspective on the end of the invasion, from Leo’s sacrifice, to picking up Casey, and reuniting with the boys. It mostly follows canon, but there is a fairly major change revealed partway through that makes it canon divergent from the movie’s ending. It’s unclear if other changes will follow, but just in case it’s being slotted in the canon divergent category all the same. 

That’s not the focus, though. No, this fic is centered squarely on April and her relationship with the rest of the Hamato Clan. I love that it impresses how much April is a part of the family, and that the boys aren’t just her friends but her brothers, and that their pain is her pain. Watching the aftermath of the invasion unfold from her perspective is a fresh and evocative take. 

Like Father Like Son by eternalglitch

132,982 words, 25/? chapters (last updated 11/02/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Leo-centric)

Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

“Here, Boss!” Huginn darted back across the room, wings straining, as he carried a very… familiar…

“Uh, wait up, no,” Leo said, eyeing the blue object as Huginn dropped it into Draxum’s waiting hand. “Do you even know where that thing’s been? Have you properly washed it at least?”

Draxum’s roots suddenly shift, dragging Leo upright until he’s forced to stand on his tip-toes to have any sort of purchase. “I happened to have had it offered to me by the mutant that you call Meat Sweats,” Draxum said, admiring the collar (for that’s what it actually was, even if Leo had never called it that when it was just a gift from his brother) in the light. “He was quite helpful once I mentioned what I wanted to use it for.” Draxum started to approach, the collar held aloft.

“So, what,” Leo bit out. “You’re gonna stop me from saying my one-liners? Big whoop.”

“I think you’ll find,” Draxum coolly said. “That this has been modified to do so much more than that.”

This fic needs no introduction. In fact, there’s a high chance some of you heard of LFLS before they even saw Rise; I’ve heard of people who only watched the show just so they could read it! It’s the most popular fic in the fandom for a reason. If that’s scared you off, though, or if you’ve avoided it for other reasons, let me tell you why you should give it a chance. 

The fic takes some of Rise’s best villains and settings, and explores the darker sides of them (do heed the warnings in the tags). Leo goes through the absolute wringer, but the effect his disappearance has on his family plays a central part of the story as well, with all of the brothers getting full blown introspection and character arcs. Donnie’s in particular hurts me. The emotions are high and the plot is juicy, with some of the tightest writing the fandom has to offer, including intelligent plans and dialogue. As far as hurt/comfort goes, this is definitely a slow burn with a lot of angst, but the author has promised a happy ending. Between that and consistent updates (it’s been going strong for two years), what more could you ask for?

Three Days to Live by Werepirechick

93,992 words, 13/13 chapters

Character Focus: April & The Boys

Genre: Cyberpunk, Action, Human AU

The heiress and former target lowers her hands, keeping them placidly by her sides. “K-tech is a vicious, unrelenting company,” she says, glasses gleaming in the room’s light as she lifts her chin in defiance. “The people who run it are the same. They don’t let people get away, and they don’t leave loose ends. You were all on their shit list as much as I am, the second you signed on.”

Leo shifts his stance, tightening his grip on his gun. “So what are you proposing?” he asks coolly.

“Like y’all said. I’m the heiress to the company. In three days I’m going to walk into a courtroom, sign the papers that frees K-tech from the control of my guardian, and walk out the richest, most powerful person in North America.” O’Neil smiles bitterly. “That is, if I can survive the next seventy-two hours. That’s where you come in.”

“You want us to guard you,” Raph states.

Ohhh, this fic is an absolute gem. You can’t say no to a good Human AU in this fandom to start, but to top it off with a cyberpunk twist? Trust me, this is a match made in heaven. The plot kicks off when the boys—hitmen in this universe—are hired to take out April O’Neil, an heiress to one of the world’s largest tech companies. When things take a turn, she makes them a deal: protect her for three days instead, and she’ll make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.

The plot that follows is filled with danger, intrigue, and high octane action. The world is incredibly thought out and immersive, and makes for a great way to work ROTTMNT’s mystic powers into a new genre. The banter, though. If you’ve read any of Werepirechick’s other fics, you’d know that’s their specialty, and it’s no different here in Three Days to Live. While on the run from the powers seeking to destroy her, the boys and April bond and their friendship is perfection. The series also blends in characters from other iterations of the franchise, but it’s not too distracting, and for the most part remains firmly rooted in the Rise style. Do yourself a favor, and give this one a read!

Posted: 11/06/2022

[colin-bridgerton-simp]

hello! loved your polin fanfic recommendations and id love to know if you have any more fanfic recs for them?

MORE FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS!

Say I'm What You Want - Pen wears a vibrator to Benedict's wedding, and Kate has the remote. Romantic smut featuring golden retriever Colin. (I'm still recommending my own first, again, because my ego craves the kudos from anyone who may still be skipping out on it).

Modern AU:

Colin and Penelope's Excellent Adventure - I was a bit iffy on the characterization at first but it quickly turned into one of my favorite polin fics! Roadtrip AU and Only One Bed

City Lights - FWB polin, currently incomplete but I think the final chapter will be uploaded soon. This one is written for just dark angsty romantic vibes, and they did it incredibly.

A Chalet Suite for Two - Fake dating on a Christmas trip! Edmund is alive!! A romantic read perfect cuddling in a blanket during the winter

Wingman - s3 plot but make it modern - Colin helps Penelope land random guys at the club. the first chapter is only texting, but let me tell you it gets better, much, much better.

Everything Has Changed - Roadtrip AU again but what gets me is the writing--there is a switching timeline in this one that leads to the climax of the story. I rather enjoyed it

Game Night - cute game night story where they're already a couple but have to face the Bridgertons on a team

Strawberry Lemonade - i think this counts as a version of fake dating, but in the form of Colin's lessons. Either way it has alllll the romance. If your love language includes physical touch this is the quick read for you.

The Infinite Fall - Colin moves in with Penelope for just a month, just as she was trying to get over him. Fluffy

Regency:

Making It Up As We Go Along - only one bed, having to lie to everyone at the Inn that you're married, Baths having to be taken in the same room, Benedict immediately knowing why the buttons on Colin's shirt were ripped off...oh my!

The Trouble with Teatime - short, incredibly sweet, adorable, fluffy read. Penelope and Eloise take Colin's tea. includes the best line ever from the best halloween movie ever. maybe i'm just biased here.

Sunrise Over Mayfair - s3 story adapted from the book but continuing from the show. romance, angst, fluff, idiot Colin.

Trip and Fall - Angsty fic where Penelope hurt her head, and Colin watches over her. HEA. romantic as heck.

The Temptation of one Penelope Featherington - If you're up for incomplete works i cannot recommend this one enough. The author is still currently writing works so I'm not sure if this one is completely abandoned or just on hiatus. it's still incredible to me. Pen and Colin are falling in love at Aubrey Hall with many illicit affairs and prying eyes...

U Up? - Sexting but make it regency letters. Creative, fun, romatnic, indulgent, sexy.

Discovering Duty - this one is incomplete. this one may be abandoned. but its 61,000 words of really good drama and drunk confessions and idiotic behavior and i LOVE it. author if you ever see this please please please please continue.

Green is Gold - this agnsty story is not for everyone. Colin is married to Marina, there is consensual infidelity, Penelope is married to someone else and has a child...but despite the fact that i usually don't like those stories i liked this one, told from Violet's perspective.

Fill of Love - Colin and Pen have a one night romantic entangle at Aubrey Hall that ends in a pregnancy, and this author wrote 4 separate endings to the story - She Stays, She Leaves, She Confesses, He Proposes. choose one or all 4! my favorite is she stays, but they're all worth the read.

My own drabbles: please feel free to read my personal 1k drabbles that I never post on Ao3. they're about 3-4 minute reads.

Episode 3x01 - written before the s3 synopsis released

Clueless Colin - crack story of the two at a ball in s3

Look What the Cheetos Made Us Do - Roommate Colin walks in on Pen in the shower

Episode 3x08 - crack ending to my crack s3 plot.

Helpless - Benedict tries to give Colin advice in a crack theory of s3

also i'd like to apologize, i haven't read much fanfic since October, and the ones that i do read are just short little fluffy ones. alot of the really popular stories are still in my "marked for later" section. I'll get to them one day, but I'm sorry if you don't see your fic on this list, I probably haven't read it!

[naamahdarling]

How do you cope with “don’t trust your brain”? I can’t trust it at any time of day, due to the dysthymia.

For me, realizing that it is time-related for me really helped. I learned to identify those feelings in specific because of when they routinely occurred, and am now able to lower their internal priority.

With dysthymia that isn't going to be helpful, though.

But still, some of this probably will be at least a bit useful because the helpful part for me was less the time - that was just the factor that made it easiest to catch. It was mostly that identifying them was the first step. Like that part isn't always easy, the thoughts are REALLY COMPELLING, we assign them high priority because of their strength, so it's hard to say "Wait. These intense feelings I am having are not accurate They are a distortion of the facts. They are based on valid fears. However, the way they are currently all ganging up on me, or feel unusually intense, is not in proportion."

And that's sort of where I am now. Here's some stuff I do.

I respond by gently reminding myself that I have a condition that predisposes me, I tell myself it's okay to have the feelings, and then I say "I am going to do what is best for me in this moment while these thoughts upset me." And that can me hard as hell and I can't always do it. But I am trying and learning.

When I get the three o'clocksies as I call them (my schedule is often twisted around enough that they happen at 3, my equivalent of 8 or 9) I take a short bit to remind myself it's a distorted perception (or sometimes utterly false, like when I get the "everyone hates me"s), I challenge it gently, then try not to give it a chance to respond. I try not to argue with it because that doesn't help. And I just find something else to do or think about.

Maybe I move to something I know I like even if I don't want to, and give it a bit to see if I can switch gears. Maybe I say "well I'm ruined for a while, might as well do something hateful like get some water or gather some trash, or brush my teeth, because if I have to suffer I can at least suffer to make my future self a bit happier." That didn't come easy either. Occupying my hands AND my mind is important. I often can't turn the bad feelings volume down if I don't occupy my mind. Movies don't work, but podcasts/audiobooks and hand crafts or engaging phone games do. I have like sixteen I can choose from. (Your library may have audiobooks to borrow digitally btw. It's very cool.)

I ask for help, I ask for asks here a lot, I have some friends to talk with about fun things, my boyfriend is great. Doing imaginative stuff like discussing silly questions (the gryphon question I just got was like a perfect example, thanks!), what-ifs for our OCs or fanfic, or silly stuff like we watch a ghost hunting show and stop it to ask what we/our imaginary people would do, or a spooky movie or podcast or reality show and we raise a hand at the point where we would nope out. We're watching a cake show and we pause it to say what we would do or what winner we would pick. Having another person is so helpful, but you CAN do this with yourself. Write the answers out longhand or journal them on your phone (Journey app!). I will now often do this WHILE I AM CRYING, guys. It helps. Even if I think it won't. I did it during a goddamn tornado warning where for once it WAS very fucking close. Boyfriend was safe across town, I am unbelievably scared of storms and was in about the scariest one I've been in since a kid, and I was snot-crying on the phone and once we said our I love yous we just talked about stupid OC shit. And by god it got me through.

Reading aloud to my cats has helped before.

Like. Whatever it is that's crawling up your spine. It's so much about saying "look, I feel this way, and it is INTENSE, but I don't have to just sit with it; I can do other stuff WHILE I feel this way, I can engage with things ALSO, I can have other thoughts too." You don't have to end the thoughts by force. You can just let them run and move on as much as possible, think about other things as best you can. And with practice it DOES get easier. It does.

Another thing I have recently discovered is that I need TIME to have emotional reactions. Someone I love said something unintentionally SUPER HURTFUL a while ago, and y'all I was SO ANGRY. SO FURIOUS. And I realized before I could address the situation and tell them they crossed a line, I needed to make room to have this huge emotional response before acting, and they DIDN'T need to be part of that. Even though the intense feelings demanded I act, I didn't. With practice, amazingly, I have learned to give MYSELF the space we all talk about giving others to feel first, solve after. It took practice but I'm there. Once I cooled off, I realized not just why I reacted the way I did (specific past trauma) but why they said what they did (their own past trauma, inappropriately dumping it on me) and was able to talk it over with them in an empathetic way and it all smoothed out, with better boundaries now.

The having the emotional reaction thing may not work in some cases such as repetitive thoughts of, say, trauma, but when there is a precipitating event that just happened or I get blindsided by a trigger, it is really helpful to realize it's a reaction, probably a really understandable one, and I won't feel like this forever.

Also psych meds and specifically mood stabilizers are really great for me. I'm on two, and at first I had some internalized ableist shame around taking them because I didn't like how it implied I was like my toxic mom with her uncontrolled rapid cycling (not why she was toxic, but it made me feel like I was failing at being Not Like Her), but WOW having them has helped. The right meds. It can be hard to get that in place, but I did want to say, it really did help me.

I have also with my therapist built a safe place in my mind. This doesn't have to be boring! I have a floating island with cloud oceans, lovely ruins, amazing wildlife, and a badass wizard lair. And in it is a box for the horrible thoughts I can't deal with right now like the PTSD stuff, so it's contained when I'm not working with it, and a koi pond where I drop these glowing rocks I imagine the scary feelings going into, and then the water cleans them and turns them into pretty stones. Like, this was just stupidly useful and I never thought to do it in a way that wasn't boring before. So I can go there, now, with practice, for a quick visit to drop some bad stuff off. I also visit as I fall asleep and explore, to help make it easier to go there quickly. Doesn't work for everyone, has been good for me. Come to Magic Floating Islands! We have perytons and flying coelacanths!

Anyway, I don't know if that's helpful. Other folks might have ideas. But that is kind of where I'm at. It isn't perfect, doesn't always work, but I'm getting better because it's partially just a skill. You know? You're already a bit ahead of where you were initially, since you know it's a distorted pattern. There was a time before you realized that and it probably sucked even more, and there will be a time after this when you have one or two things to try that will suck a little less. It won't be a hundred percent, but you do move forward a bit at a time.

Hope that helps a little. 💕

[nsfw-giz]

curiosity | karl jacobs smut

i write smut ayoooo who am i? i never do this lol anyways i hope you enjoyed also shout out to @delilahk for reading this as i was writing it! thank you hun! this also turned out softer then i expected so....

Pairing: Karl x fem!reader

Word Count: 4,717

Warnings: bdsm, embarrassment, talk of master/slave relationships, mentions of safewords, mentions of punishment and spanking. not sure what else

Curiosity killed the cat, that's the saying, right? Well, curiously had definitely killed you. You fell down the rabbit hole of bdsm rather quickly, you didn't even know how. One second you were reading a fanfic about some marvel (or any other show/movies you love) characters and the next you're looking up dom/sub porn. It was a quick fall, a tumble into the deep unknown. Before you knew it you were looking into clubs, places to visit to delve into your dark fantasies. You found a well known club, one with great reviews and highly talked about doms. You read in depth about each dom, trying to find one that would fit your needs. You knew you could show up to the club, walk around, watch people and learn that way but you really didn't want to. You weren't one to like watching people.. the thought was odd to you but who knows? You had never tried it so maybe you would've loved it. But moving on, You rounded down the list to 3 doms. Each had different levels of severity, different kinks they catered too. But they each had one thing in common, they were open to beginners, open to teaching people who were willing to learn. And you were definitely willing to learn.

It took you almost an hour to settle on a dom, one who goes by the name of Sir Jacobs. His intro explained how he got into domming, seemingly having stumbled upon it by reading fanfictions just like you had. He had 3 and a half years of training, around the same amount as everyone else you had in your top 3. He was also young, 23, that was around your age. He had pictures of his hand on his page, neatly manicured nails and rings adorned his slender fingers. You took note of the veins on his hands and how attractive they looked. You let your mind wonder, picturing how his hand would look around your throat, or gripping your wrists. Either one was so fucking hot to you. You came back to reality and clicked on the booking tab. You looked through the calendar before choosing a Monday night. No one would question you going out on a monday night, mostly because no one you knew really hung out or talked to you on the weekdays. If you choose a friday then you knew your friends would question you, same with a saturday. And you weren't going to choose a sunday, that's just weird, or to you it is.

You clicked 9pm for your time before you were taken to the next page. A page full of questions. Of course, they had the usual age, name, email and so on. But then there were the unusual questions, questions that made butterflies erupt in your stomach and chest. Are you new to bdsm? Yes or No. Of course you clicked yes. How did you learn about bdsm? You chewed on your bottom lip, before typing out how you learned about bdsm from fanfictions. What kind of scenes turn you on? Oh, hmm, that was a good question. You honestly weren't quite sure, you had watched porn and read smut but it kind of contained everything. "I'm not sure what type of scenes turn me on," You typed out, before moving to the next question. What characteristics do you find attractive in a dom? These questions really made you think, made you wonder what you actually find attractive. You definitely preferred when the dom in your smuts was bossy, or demanding. But you also loved when they could be soft and caring. "I like when the dom is bossy, demanding, caring and soft. i think," You typed out the answer, worried the answer wasn't good enough but you knew this wasn't a time to lie. You kept your answer and moved to the next question. What experience do you have in bdsm? You typed out a quick, "none" before moving on. What gets you off about being submissive? Well, this was easy... maybe.. "I like being told what to do. I like being praised for doing good. I like..." You stopped, what else did you like? You knew there was more but you weren't sure how to explain it. "I like feeling small," you added. I mean, it felt nice to feel small, to give over control, or from what you read, it seemed like it felt nice. You moved onto the next question before you thought too much about the question. What are things you haven't tried but would like to? Oh gosh there was so much you wanted to try, so much that you had read about. "I would like to try spanking, choking, rope play, dirty talk, there's so much I want to try!" You literally typed that out, literally. You were excited. What can you say?

You filled out a few other forms, including consent forms. But you also knew you'd have to fill out more forms but you didn't mind. And once you were finished, you laid back in bed with a smile on your face. You were excited, happy to be able to finally learn about something that turned you on. You just were so freaking excited.

*time skip cuz i'm lazy*

You walked into the dark club, soft

music playing from behind a closed door. You were nervous, shaking even. You walked to the front desk, hands landing on the counter top. The cool feeling grounded you slightly. A lady walked over to you, "Welcome to After Dark, can i see an id," You nodded, shaky hands reaching to your pocket and pulling out your wallet before handing the lady your id. "First time?" She asked, smiling softly. You nodded as she scanned your id and handed it back to you. "Well, i hope you have fun, if you have any questions feel free to ask," She began to walk away but you quickly spoke again, "I uh- i have an appointment?" You said as more of a question. "Oh you have a meeting with a dom?" She asked and you nodded. "Let me look in the computer, your name is y/n right?" She asked. You nodded, wondering how she got your name before remembering she had your id not even a minute ago. "Sir Jacobs?" She asked and you nodded, "Yes! That's him," You said and she smiled, "He's very nice, follow me," She walked from around the desk and started walking off. You quickly followed behind, almost tripping over your feet. She opened a bright red door, wow, very secretive. The door opened into a hall filled with more doors. She led you to a purple door before knocking three times. "Come in!" A voice called. The lady opened the door wide enough to peek her head in, "Your 9 o'clock is here," She said. "Thank you, lilly," The man said. The woman, apparently named Lilly, moved out of the way. "Have fun," She smiled before walking off.

You stood outside the door, heart thumping wildly in your chest. This was really happening, you were about to be dommed. "Come in," The voice sounded closer now. As if the person was moving closer to the door. The door opened wider and all you felt was shock before you were pulled into the room and the door was shut with a loud thud. "Y/n?" You looked up at your best friend, best friend of years. "Karl?" You asked, your heart caught in your throat. Was this some kind of joke? All you could feel was shame and embarrassment running through your veins. "Why are you here? Did dream put you up to this?" Karl asked, his voice shaking and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "What? no- i-i-" You felt confused, shame bubbling from your stomach up to your chest. "Is-is this a joke? I-i told you so many things-" You felt tears well in your eyes and a lump form in your throat. "What? No! I work here! I thought dream told you! I thought- when i read the name i didn't think it'd actually be you! I thought it was a weird coincidence," Karl shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. "You work here?" You asked, trying to swallow down the lump in your throat. "Yes- i- are you okay?" Karl asked, moving closer to you now, placing his hand on your cheek. "I told you so much," You sniffled, you didn't want to cry, not now, not when something so deep and personal to you was exposed. "You did, im proud of you, you were very open with me," Karl said, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. You looked up at him with furrowed brows, "Are you praising me?" You giggled softly, sniffling once more. "Yeah- yeah i am," He chuckled, "Sorry, force of habit.. though i am proud of you," Karl said.

You shook your head, "I can't believe I told you- I told you I wanted to try things," You pulled back from Karl's hand, staring down at the ground. "Why don't we sit down.. we can talk about it if you want. Just as friends.. or if you want to leave, i understand. I'll act like this never happened," Karl said. You weighed out your options, part of you really wanted to leave, to run, to never ever face karl again. But how could it get worse? Karl knew your deepest secret now and he knew about what you wanted to learn so, what was the point of leaving now? "W-we can talk," You said and Karl nodded.

Karl walked over to the couch in the room, sitting down and patting the spot next to him. You walked over timidly before sitting down. Neither of you talked, you didn't know what to say. You had so many questions but none of them would come out. "How uh, how did you find out about bdsm?" Karl asked. You sighed, "Didn't you read that in my questionnaire?" You asked and karl sighed, "I did, but i didn't know if you'd feel more comfortable telling me," Karl said. You nodded, "Fanfics," You said and karl nodded, "Same," Karl said. "What uh, who were the fanfics about?" You asked, staring down at your lap. "Animes, random characters," Karl said, "You?" Karl asked. "Marvel," You stated. The room was silent again. The air felt thick, it felt hard to breathe. "You uh, you said in your answers that you weren't sure what type of scenes you liked. Would you wanna talk about that?" Karl asked. "What? I uh- i uh don't know," You said. "Y/n.. I don't want to make you uncomfortable but i also don't want you to think that im disgusted with you. I'm not, im surprised but im not disgusted or upset. You're still my best friend," Karl said and you nodded. "Karl, i just.. i feel weird.. Like im not- i don't want to leave but im worried if i stay that things between us will become weird." You admitted, looking over at karl. His eyes had never left you, he had been watching you the whole time. "Things won't be weird between us.. I- I can be karl, your best friend or if you want, i can be Sir Jacobs, a dom.. I just, i want to be what you want right now," Karls voice was so soft and gentle, so calming, "No matter who you want me to be, i won't judge you. Nothing you say will change how i think about you," He added.

You felt so confused, you really didn't wanna leave because you had questions, you wanted to talk to Karl about this but also, you just weren't sure it was the right thing to do. But.. fuck it... you had nothing to lose anymore. "Will Sir Jacobs be as nice as Karl?" You asked, giggling slightly. "If that's what you want," Karl said gently. "Can I ask.. who is Sir jacobs.. Like I know he's a dom but isn't he also you?" You asked. Karl nodded, "Sir Jacobs is me... like the extension of myself, the extension of myself that is able to be a dom and indulge in fantasies and things of that nature," Karl explained. "But it's still you?" You asked. "If you're worried that i'm gonna lose myself being sir jacobs, don't worry. I wont lose myself, i don't. I'm still me. I'm just a dominant version of me." Karl sounded so genuine, all he wanted to do was keep you comfortable.

"Will you tell dream or sapnap anything i tell you?" You asked and karl immediately shook his head. "Everything said and done in here is kept between us.. We sign a privacy waiver and everything so legally it has to stay between us," Karl chuckled and you sighed from relief. "Just between us?" You asked. "Just between us," Karl said in reassurance. You let out a soft sigh, "Can we talk about scenes?" You asked and karl nodded, "Of course, would you like to talk about what kind of scenes you might like?" Karl asked and you nodded. "Can i ask like what your favorite type of scenes are?" You asked, playing with your fingers and picking at your nails. "Uh, i guess i prefer uh.. well... I like heavy dom/sub scenes.. or master and slave scenes," Karl admitted, he took a heavy breathe, he was slightly shaking. It made sense why he was nervous, he was sharing something deep and personal with you. "Master and slave?" You asked, turning your face to look at karl. For once karl wasn't looking at you, he was looking at the ground. He twisted the rings on his fingers, something he did when he was anxious. "Yeah.. Where the submissive, or slave as they're referred to, give over every bit of control to their master. I control everything they do.. What they may wear... what they do during the day.." Karl talked slowly, as if he couldn't even believe the words coming out of his mouth. "So.. I would give my complete control over to you.. I wouldn't have to make decisions?" You asked, now chewing on your bottom lip as you thought about all the possibilities. "Yes, i would- i would be making every decision.. But that's something heavy y/n. Doing that isn't something you start with. Usually you start with the lighter stuff.. Like slight dom and sub stuff. To get to the master and slave stuff it's a lot of learning and patience." Karl finally looked over at you and almost wish he hadn't. You looked like an excited puppy, like karl was holding a treat just out of reach from you. "I-I can learn and I'm patient," You said, fingers twitching slightly.

If Karl was gonna be honest.. He had thought about this, way more than he ever should have. The thought of having you as his sub or his slave was something he'd dreamed about. He knew you, he knew you were a good and quick learner, he knew you could be patient. But he also knew you could be hard headed, stubborn. He liked that side of you just as much as he liked the patient side of you. "I know you can learn and you're very patient.. when you want to be.. but y/n.. I'm your friend.. I don't think you'd want me to be your dom. I can definitely find you a dom that would suit your needs, that would teach you," Karl reached over and grabbed your hands, "Karl, i trust you.. And if i'm honest.. I'd rather it be you then someone else.. You know me, doesn't that make it easier?" You asked, slightly squeezing his hands. "It can make it easier but it can also make it harder.. I don't know if i'd be able to see you crying, hurting because of the pain i give you." Karl squeezed your hands back, his thumbs rubbing over the back of them.

"I want it to be you Karl," You said, looking at Karl's face. Well fuck, how was he supposed to deny you now? The way you looked at him, it lit something inside of him, he wanted to teach you. He wanted to be the only one to teach you. He wanted to see what you looked like in pleasure, in pain. He wanted to see your reaction to every new thing he gave you, to every new thing he showed you. He wanted to make you cum, to make you writhe with pleasure. He wanted so many things now. "Okay.. it will be me," He said and you smiled, squeezing his hands again.

You stood up before he could speak again. "So where do we start? I'm ready," You said, looking down at Karl who sat on the couch. Karl chuckled slightly, "you wanna start right now?" He asked, looking up at you with a playful glint in his eye. "I do! I paid for the night so..." You giggled, rocking back on your heels. "Oh yeah, that reminds me, I'm gonna pay you back," Karl stood up. "Absolutely not, you can pay me back by teaching me," You said, now looking up at karl. "Okay, then first lesson, when I say I'm gonna do something," Karl gently grabbed your chin, "such as paying you back.. then you let me pay you back. Understood?" Karl asked, a playful smile still on his face. You didn't know what you felt, you felt warm, gooey as you looked up at Karl, "Okay- yeah- yeah you can pay me back," You said, stuttering over your words. "Good, you learn quickly," Karl pulled his hand away.

"So before we do anything.. I have to ask.. Are you 100% sure you are okay with what is happening now?" Karl asked and you nodded, "100% sure," You said and Karl smiled. "What is the safe word you chose?" Karl asked. "Uh- it was the- the color red," You said watching as Karl moved across the room to take off his blazer. He wore a white button down, something he wore often but it wasn't until now that you noticed how fucking hot he looked. "Good, red means stop, green means go. Repeat that," Karl said, turning to face you. "Red means stop, green means go," You repeated, beginning to pick at your nails again. "Yellow means slow down. Which means, if I'm spanking you and you call yellow, then we slow down, take some breaths before continuing. Understood?" Karl spoke calmly and evenly. Your face flushed red at the thought of being spanked, the thought of being bent over his lap. "Y-yes, yellow means slow down," You repeated without being asked. "Good girl," Karl smiled, you smiled back and blushed at the comment.

"Now, let's talk about rules," Karl walked back over to you, pushing hair away from your face. "First rule, if you are comfortable with it, you will refer to me as Sir, are you comfortable with that?" Karl asked, gently twirling your hair in his fingers. "I am, sir," You smiled at him, Karl gave you a content smile. "Second rule, you answer every question. No matter how dirty the answer is. Understood?" Karl moved his hand down to your shoulder. "Understood," You answered. "Third rule, you ask me for what you want. You do not make me guess. If you want me to spank you, you ask me to spank you. If you want me to touch you, you ask me to touch you, understand?" He asked and once again you nodded, replying with, "Understood," "Those are my 3 rules. There are more but that's what we'll start with. Now if you become uncomfortable at any point, what do you say?" Karls hand ran down your arm, grabbing your hand. "R-red, sir," You answered and Karl squeezed your hand. "Good girl," Karl replied.

"Todays gonna be gentle. We're just gonna focus on my rules. At random points I will ask you to repeat a rule and you will. If you can't then, then you will be punished. Is that okay?" Karl asked and you nodded. "That's okay sir," You said, biting down on your bottom lip. "Now what do you think is a fitting punishment for forgetting a rule?" Karl asked as he let go of your hand, moving to sit back on the couch. "I uh.. I'm not sure.." Your eyes followed Karl's every movement. "Would you like me to give you options?" Karl asked and you nodded. "Okay, as punishment I could have you write lines. Such as writing each of my rules each time you forget one. I could spank you, once for each rule you forget. I could edge you, which is not fun for either of us. Can you choose from one of those three?" Karl asked and you nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. "Which one will you be choosing?" Karl asked, watching as you fiddled with your fingers. "I-I uh really wanna try spanking.." You admitted, averting your eyes from karl and to the floor. "Look at me y/n," Karl said and you quickly

looked at him. "Will you be okay if I spank you? If you do not like it then we don't have to do it, okay?" Karl said and you nodded, "I understand karl.. I mean- fuck i meant sir," You quickly corrected yourself. It was an honest mistake and Karl knew that. "It's okay, are you ready to get started?" Karl asked and you nodded. "Then let's get started."

"Down on your knees, sweet girl," Karl instructed and you were quick to get on your knees. "What is my first rule?" Karl asked and you quickly grew flustered. You knew the rules, you did, but you didn't expect to be put on the spot so quickly. "Uh- uh to call you sir!" You said quickly, looking up at Karl with excitement since you remembered the first rule. "Good job!" Karl praised you, standing up and walking towards a dresser. Your eyes followed him before he spoke again, "What is my second rule?" He asked as he opened the top drawer of the dresser. "Uh.. it's- it's-" You were racking your brain now. It was only the second rule but you were starting to forget. "I know it! I swear just- just give me a minute!" You said, looking down at the floor trying to remember. Karl chuckled softly, grabbing an item from the drawer before closing it. "Take your time princess," Karl said. The nickname definitely didn't help, you were flustered and struggling to remember. Karl walked back over to you, sitting on the couch once more before holding out a vibrator. "If you feel comfortable, you may use this," Karl said. You looked up at him, "I'm comfortable," You said and Karl smiled, "You may use the vibrator," Karl said and you took the toy from his hand. "You can use it after you remember my second rule," Karl leaned back on the couch as he watched you. "I know it.. It's- it's- answer every question!" You said loudly. Karl chuckled, "That's right! Go ahead and use your toy," Karl said and you nodded.

You flicked on the vibrator, feeling the vibrations run through your fingers. "If it's more comfortable you can take off any clothes you'd like," Karl said and you nodded, "Can i keep them on?" You asked and karl nodded. You slowly placed the toy between your thighs, pressing it against your clothed heat. You shuddered slightly, thighs flexing in your jeans. "What is my first rule?" Karl asked. Oh you knew this one, "Ask for what i want," You said almost breathlessly. "Wrong," Karl said and your eyes shot up at him, "What?" You asked. You removed the toy from your heat, "Put the toy back where it was," Karl said and you obeyed pressing it back against yourself. Thighs slightly shaking. "I asked the first rule, you gave me the third rule," Karl said, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Oh come on! That's a dick move!" You whimpered. Karl only chuckled, "Listen closely, wouldn't want you to slip up again," Karl smirked. "That's one spanking, let's make sure that's the only one. Now, tell me what my first rule is," Karl spoke slowly, making sure you were listening and could hear him clearly. "The first rule- is- is to call you sir," You repeated his first rule as a wave of pleasure ran through you. You weren't one to cum quickly but holy shit, the whole scene made you so horny and you hadn't even realized. "Good girl, what is my second rule?" Karl asked. "Second rule, is to answer every question," You said, placing one hand on the ground as you leaned forward. You felt so good, eyebrows knitting together as you looked at the ground. "What is my third rule?" Karl asked. He was in heaven, watching his best friend lost in pleasure. "To- to ask for what i want," You whined out, legs closing around the vibrator. "Are you close?" Karl asked and you nodded, "I-I am- im sorry," You closed your eyes, mouth falling open.

Karl leaned forward, grabbing your chin and tilting your head up. You looked up at him with half lidded eyes, "Why are you sorry, y/n?" Karl asked, searching your eyes for discomfort. You didn't even realize you had said you were sorry, it was a force of habit it seemed. "I-I didn't- i don't know-" You breathed out, leaning into Karl's touch. "You have nothing to be sorry for," Karl cooed, moving to sit on his knees on the ground in front of you. "If you need to cum, you may cum," Karl said, grabbing your face in his hands. "Do you need to cum?" Karl asked and you nodded. "I-I do Karl, I do~" You moaned, eyes rolling back. Karl held your face in his hands as you came. Your hand that was on the floor going to grab karls arm. Your body shook as your nails dug into his arm. You let out a string of moans and whines. "That's it, that's it, pretty girl," Karl leaned his forehead against yours. You slowly pulled the toy away, leaving it on the ground as both hands now gripped Karl's arms. Karl pulled you into his chest, the two of you breathing together.

Everything felt so heavy now, you felt heavy in karl's arms, the air felt heavy in the room. "You did so well, listened so well," Karl cooed, running his fingers through your hair as you came down. "You remembered all my rules, did so well," Karl cooed once more. Karl held you tightly and you just breathed heavily in your arms. Everything had felt so amazing and now you were just tired. "K-karl," You tapped his arm. "What's up pretty?" Karl asked, still running his fingers through your hair. "Spanking," You reminded him but Karl shook his head, "No spanking tonight," Karl said, and you nodded. You could've been your stubborn self and fought karl on how you deserved the spanking but you were just too tired to care. You've had orgasms before but never one that made you this tired.

Karl kept you in his arms till he knew you were ready to get up. And even then he walked you out to your car. "Get home safe, yeah?" Karl said, leaning over your car door as you sat in the driver's seat. "I will, thank you Karl," You smiled up at him tiredly. "Text me when you get home," Karl smiled and you nodded. Karl was about to close your car door before you stopped him. "Hey karl?" You said and karl opened your door all the way back up, "What's up?" He asked. You grabbed his collared shirt, pulling him down and kissing him gently. Karl kissed back, pulling back and smiling. "We should do this again, yeah?" You said and Karl nodded, "Yeah," He stated. You smiled and let Karl shut your door before you headed off towards your home.

[cerisebio-art]

Time for another Taibani thread imported from my twitter

So I’ve been thinking, if we ever do get some continuation, like a season or a movie, not just an epilogue, I can see 2 possibilities for Kotetsu, that are not mutually exclusive actually? 

Disclaimer that these are just theories, do not take it as anything else.

First, this season was a lot about SUPPORT: Kotetsu stepped up as a support system for Barnaby, and wanted to be one for Kaede too.

He worked a lot on himself to get there, in a mature way that shows a lot of growth imo.

And when he talks with Kaede in episode 7, she brings this up: « there’s lots of different jobs that help people » and we’re first shown Saito working on Taibani’s suits

Fast forward to episode 21 and Kotetsu’s answer to what is a hero, and here it shows that being a hero isn’t necessarily being a licensed superhero

So my first theory is that Kotetsu could still work in the hero business, as support, one way or another (yes I like the HC that he could become a physical therapist, sue me)

And be a different kind of hero

I could see him working with Agnes or in her stead, and be the strategist for the heroes. The way all the heroes worked together kinda pointed to that, and to a change of the hero system towards « one team » instead of a competition

Now another big theme this season was the rift between NEXTs and non-NEXTs, and the reason why Kotetsu is retiring is that he lost his power.

I’m not taking a lot of risk if I say everyone thinks he can still be a hero without his NEXT right? The man can LITERALLY lift a whole car without using his power, or catch a full grown man falling from the sky without so much as wavering.

The only issue being the rules they have in Sternbild, but rules can be changed. Should be changed sometimes.

Also there’s this speech by Barnaby

And the Legend of Buddy Heroes title at the end of the season is probably honorific, so imo that’s still something they haven’t accomplished.

Wouldn’t it be groundbreaking if Kotetsu became the first non-NEXT hero? Opening a new future for more?

After all, being a hero isn’t a job for Kotetsu, it’s who he inherently IS, and if it’s still what he WANTS to do, I think he’d find his way back to it.

But just like Barnaby he needs to realize it’s something he’s doing for himself, not because he has a power, because Mr Legend told him to be a hero, because he promised Tomoe or Bunny. And not to prove himself either, because he believes he HAS to be useful. This season pointed out that NEXTs are only accepted by society when they’re useful, so this is a belief he has to learn to let go of.

Kotetsu still needs to realize that he, as a person, is enough. Power or no power.

That’s the only way I’d like to see him come back as a hero: powerless but full of self worth and love, like he taught Bunny

Otherwise I’d like to see him at peace with retirement and finding his way to happiness, but STILL working with Bunny one way or another.

What I DON’T want to see tho, is a sequel where’s he’s not a main character or him magically getting his powers back. Kotetsu’s character is all about pushing through adversity, overcoming what life throws at him, so just being magically cured would feel like cheap writing to me, and also make him way less relatable as a disabled person myself.

Anyway just my 2 cents on how after analyzing this season in more depth makes me think it’s not THAT final after all and they can still explore a lot more of these 2’s relationship

Also, if we don’t get a continuation there’s always the power of fanfic

[johnsuhsposts]

NCT 127 x Songs that suit them cuz why not

some sucky scenarios by me

~~~

a/n: hiii<3. this is my first ever tumblr post. i just wanted to write this because i needed some inspiration to write smut for some of the members and i didn't know where to start like at all. anyways... this isn't for the faint of heart. i just needed to get this outta my system. like i have so many ideas for fanfics and this is how i'll get my motivation to actually write something decent. anywho, there will be more to come in the future!! so enjoy this meal.

~~~

(tags are at the bottom!)

warnings: explicit shit. that's all. xx

–

TAEYONG - Over Some Wine - RINI ft. Maeta

Taeyong would play this song while he goes down on you. I'm sorry but it's true. He would do everything slow just so you could get impatient but the more you whine the slower he'd go. Everything from touching you slowly, to him fucking you slow or playing with his thrusts to the beat. It's just... wowowwww.

–

JAEHYUN - Touch - Cigarettes After Sex

This song just SCREAMS Jaehyun. The whole vibe would just be a song that would play in the background as he holds you close to his chest and plays with your hair, and he would sing it a little to you, like ugh. He would teasingly kiss your neck under the dim lights of his room while his record player hums in the background, and you'd feel his cold yet wandering hands on your burning skin.

-

DOYOUNG - Thinkin about You - Frank Ocean

All I gotta say is, he would make out with you to this song. Making out would eventually lead to other things but he'd take his time and when you stop kissing to catch your breath, you guys would giggle at each other which is so cute. Though he'd use songs of a different vibe to fuck you, this would be one of the ones you'd hear while you make out with him.

–

JUNGWOO - Messages From The Stars - RAH Band

I'm not sure why I chose this as his song, but it fits him for some reason. Jungwoo, as innocent as he looks, is lowkey freaky as hell; say I'm lying. He'd literally have you seeing stars while he's fingering you to this song and laugh when you moan because he knows he's got you wrapped around his finger. Like, this man is a sadistic masochist and doesn't even try to hide his freaky side when he's with you.

–

HYUCK - Garden (Say It Like Dat) - SZA

Donghyuck is literally a drama queen. But he's also so hot. Like smokin' hot. He would have this song playing while giving you backshots most def. He groans everytime you clench around him and it just makes him fall in love all over again with you. He would continue to fuck you so good that it'd have your legs shaking. He'd have no shame in breeding you either. Seeing you full of his cum was mind-blowing. It made him so hard to see his cum leaking out of you. He literally loved it.

-

TAEIL - Call Out My Name - The Weeknd

Taeil loves having these types of songs playing whenever you come to spend time with him at his house. He loves it when you say his name, letting him know that you're enjoying yourself. You two would make out passionately on his couch while a movie plays in the background on low volume; eventually leading to steamy, hot sex that you'd never forget. After Taeil rocks your shit and nearly breaks the bed from you two's rough sex, you'd most likely be encouraged to visit him more often.

-

YUTA - 505 - Artic Monkeys

Yuta loves the sound of guitars playing in the background mixing in with your heavenly moans. Half of his playlist would consist of rock music while he rearranges your guts and listens to your sweet sounds, spurring him on further. He enjoys just spending time with you period, and he'd do anything to have you go dumb on his cock with his favorite song playing.

-

MARK - Sanctuary - Joji

Mark is the type to take everything slow. He loves having Joji playing from his phone as he's leaving hickeys all over your body and watching you shudder under his fingertips. He gets so hard everytime you whisper to him to fuck the absolute shit out of you. He just likes spending his time with you and doesn't regret any second of it. He would never get used to this.

-

JOHNNY - Daddy Issues - The Neighborhood

Johnny is the whole fucking definition of this song. While fucking the shit out of you with this playing in the background, he'd most definitely become an actual dad- minus the issues. He just loves the way you feel around him, and he'd cum so much just from being inside you, it's just shocking. Johnny would be the best daddy to your babies.

-

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a like if you enjoyed. More will be published in the future.

(Original work. Please DO NOT copy.)

(Not my original idea but the scenarios do belong to me.)

(feel free to reblog if you'd like!)

[randommoonchildeden]

Could you do a Mischa Bachinski x Gn reader having to do with them picking out Halloween costumes????

Of course! Halloween might be over, but I will still write this since it sounds cute! The fanfic didn't come out really amazing, so sorry about that. I also wrote from the perspective of (Y/N), because why not.

Anyways, hope you're having a wonderful day/night anon!

(TW: none!)

word count: 1088 words

Spooky month! (MISCHA BACHINSKI X READER HALLOWEEN ONESHOT)

(𝓨/𝓝)'𝓢 𝓟𝓞𝓥

It was Halloween, one of my favorite holidays of all time. The time of year when you see people carving jack-o'-lanterns, kids trick-or-treating for candy, and most obviously, making or choosing a costume to wear.

I am no longer a child, so I can't go trick or treating without getting weird glares from those snobby old people, so what better thing to do than dressing up as either a monster or a movie character, and scaring random children walking by!

That sounds like a fun idea! I should invite someone to also dress up as something, and then we can scare little kids! My genius is sometimes terrifying, I have to admit.

I got out of bed and walked around my room, trying to think of who I should call. My phone began ringing its annoying tune, and so I picked it up, to see who was calling me. I smiled as I saw that the person who was calling me was none other than my boyfriend, Mischa.

We first started dating a few months ago, when he revealed his feelings for me on a youtube comment section. Many people probably saw it, but I don't mind.

Surprisingly, he lived in the same town as me, which made it a hundred times better, and I even transferred to the same school as him and joined the choir, so that I can talk to him more.

I answered and I got so overjoyed when I heard his voice. "Wassup babycakes! I know there's this holiday that you Americans and Canadians celebrate called Halloween, and I wanted to spend this Halloween with you if you don't mind!" I can imagine him blushing from the other side of the screen, and I began smiling.

"Of course, my mishka! I would love to spend my Halloween with you!" I responded in excitement. "We should totally dress up as characters from horror movies!"

"OH HELL YEAH!" He yelled loudly, and I heard a door opening and a voice saying lowly "Quiet!" to Mischa. Mischa muttered a small "Sorry", before the other voice slammed the door.

I felt sorry for Mischa. He told me the story about how he had to leave his mother and move here to Uranium, only to be shunned by his new parents. If only I could help him move out of that hellhole, I would.

"Ignore that. Let's go meet at the thrift store so that we can get some costumes for really cheap." Mischa said. I tried smiling, but I was still upset at how his parents treated him.

"Okay then, Mischa. Let's meet later outside the thrift store, K?"

"Okay, babe! See you later!"

I finally arrived at the Thrift store. I was waiting nervously for my boyfriend to arrive. He finally arrived, and we both hugged each other.

"Yoooooo babycakes, how are you!" He asked as we did the secret handshake that we invented.

"I'm good, now that I'm with you. How 'bout you?" I asked. "I'm 'ight." He responded back

"Let's enter the thrift store so that we can find a costume," I said, and we both entered the thrift store.

Here we were met with a lot of clothes, antique objects, old toys, and many more. What caught our attention was the Halloween section of the thrift store. We basically ran to that section and began looking for costumes for us to wear.

"Oooh, Zombie student! What if one of the members of the choir turned into a zombie, they would surely wear something like this!" I said as I showed Mischa the costume, which was basically a ripped-up St. Cassian uniform with fake blood on it. It sure looked cheap and was probably made by someone from our school who tried to rebel against the school rules.

"Nah, it looks fake." He responded before he took out another costume, which was a flannel shirt and a wolf head. "Look, werewolf," Mischa said before he put the costume back and took out a ghost face costume, which he seemed to like.

"You would look great dressed up as Ghostface." He said. I blushed and smiled really goofily before I turned back to look for costumes.

"Oh my god! You should dress as Jigsaw!" I said as I took out a Jigsaw mask and outfit and showed it to Mischa. "I know that you really love Saw V, so I think this outfit would suit you!" I said as I gave him the outfit.

"You're a genius, (Y/N)!" He gave me a wide smile, and I smiled back. "Now we should find a costume for you." He said as he began looking for a costume for me.

"Do you wanna dress as Michael Myers?" He asked as he took out a Michael Myers costume.

"Hmm...I'm not really feeling it." I said as I began looking for a costume.

"Freddie Kruger...Nah...Chucky....Not feeling it...Ghost face...Probably...Samara Morgan...Probably not..." I kept looking for a costume, but couldn't find anything I wanted to dress up as.

"Hey, how about Jason?" Asked Mischa. I turned my head toward him and saw a Jason Voorhees costume, completed with the mask.

"Mischa, you really have good taste in everything" I responded as I took the outfit, and hugged him. "We should go dress up now!"

After buying the costumes, and going to my house so that we can dress up, we spent most of the night scaring children who were going trick-or-treating, buying candy, going to Taco Bell to scare Noel (which actually worked), and eating tacos outside the mall together with Noel who took a break from work to hang out with us, while watching final destination on a portable DVD player.

"You know Mischa, this Halloween was the most amazing day of my life. But you know what else is amazing?" I smirked at Mischa.

"What else is amazing?" He asked.

"You are, silly!" I laughed, almost choking on my taco, but noel smacked my back so that I could stop choking, which surprisingly worked. Mischa was blushing a lot, and I was laughing at how much he was blushing

"I might be the most romantic boy in town, but your relationship is too syrupy for me," Noel declared.

And that's how I spent my Halloween with my boyfriend.

THE END

𝑅𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 >> 𝐿𝒾𝓀𝑒 (𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈)

[kovuthebean]

New roots

A/n: this if my first time writing a fanfic in almost two years so it may not be the best, I do plan on writing another part to this story line!!

Summery: After spending a summer with your cousins you decide to move to California because you couldn’t get one person out of your head.

Tw: none really, fluff, mentions of smoking weed, swearing

Paring: fezco x reader

Proof read by @basebalgirl70

There’s nothing like Cali in a heat wave. Outside was a sweltering 105 degrees, and inside the shitty apartment you rented- with a busted ac- it was only a few degrees cooler.

“I’m sweating in places I didn’t even know I could sweat.” Announced Rue as she entered the living room.

"Eeeewww.” You and Jules groan out at the same time.

“what you’re telling me you haven’t found a new sweat-“

"RUE PLEASE STOP!” You yelled over her as you clamped your hands down on your ears. She just laughed as she laid down on the floor. “You know times like this make me want to move back to-“

The girl next to you cut you off. “Don’t even finish that sentence," she laughed. "You hate the cold and you know it. Plus wasn’t it your idea to move out here in the first place?”

She was right it was.

With Cassie and Lexi being your cousins, you had spent one summer at their house. Cassie dragged you and Lexi to all sorts of parties during your stay, where you meet someone. Someone that you haven’t been able to get out of your mind since that summer.

Fezco

You spent almost everyday in the shop or at fez and ash’s place, and everyday was filled with belly aching laughter, passing countless blunts between you two (shit fez even taught you how to properly roll a joint), and watching all the old movies you could get your hands on. And if you weren’t mistaken it seemed like the kid was warming up to you. At first you thought it was just a little summer crush, nothing mutual, but once you got back home and the ache in your chest grew more and more, it was hard to deny. You two talking everyday despite the time difference didnt help either.

Fez was the first to suggest you moving out to Cali after graduating. You were baffled at the thought, terrified you told him. He was quick to soothe your worries, "you can stay here till you get on your feet ma."

So after months of planning and finally setting it in motion, here you were thousands of miles away from your home state. A small group of friends well established and Fez behind you every step of the way. It was great... except for the weather.

"Well it’s too hot to do anything except smoke some weed.” You sat up getting ready to roll a joint.

"We’re out.” Jules mumbled from her sprawled out position on the couch.

"Well you know what that means.” You stand up, walking over to the front door. "Time to go bother fez and pretzel boy, you comin?” you ask with a jiggle of your keys. Jules huffed as she got up, mumbling a yes as she helped Rue up.

—————————

Pulling up to the small store, you could feel your heart rate pick up and butterflies in your stomach. You put the car in park as Rue looked at you. She knew you better than anyone, it was like she could read your mind. "If you don’t tell him you like him, I’m gonna tell Lexi to take him.”

You looked at her and feigned offense, putting a hand over your chest. “How dare you, I don’t even know if he feels the same ab-“

"Bullshit” Rue interrupted. “I see the way he looks at you, everyone does. And to be honest you are the only other girl I think I’ve ever seen him hold a conversation with. Stop selling yourself short man.”

Rue really did want to see you get with fez. She was the first to know about your crush on him after all. It was obvious, and so was his on you. Plus with Rue and Jules dating, she felt bad making you third wheel when they would hang out, or when they did couples shit around your apartment. To make things even better you didn’t exactly have the biggest friend group. Sure you had Lexi and Cassie, Fez, Rue and Jules but they had their own lives. You weren't into the party scene as much as they were, so you spent most of your time with Fezco and Ash.

Jules reached over and ruffled your hair, pulling you out of your thoughts. You offer her a small smile, which she returns.

You three got out of the car and made your way into the shop. Ash was behind the counter today. "What the hell, what do fuckers want now.”

“Where’s Fez at, pretzel boy?” You ask, scanning the coolers.

"Man, I told you to stop callin me that!” Ash exclaimed.

"Oh hey ma." The nickname he gave you made your knees weak every time he said it. “I didn’t hear y’all come in.” Fez came out of one of the cooler doors that lead to the back rooms. “Whatcha need?”

“I’m going to stand in your cooler, it's too fuckin hot to be out here.” Rue didn’t wait for a response, opening the door and stepping in. “That sounds fun.” Jules said following close behind her.

“Oh uhh, I need my jazz- just the usual.” You stutter out.

"Yo ash could you go get the fine lady her products.” Fez gestured to the door he came from with his eye. The boy spared a narrow glance between the two of you then exited the room. "So, you officially moved in huh?” He perched himself on top of the counter.

“Yeah it’s official. We signed a lease and everything.” You said with a chuckle. “I’m adulting and it’s terrifying.”

This time earning a chuckle out of him, "Ma your doing great, and if you ever need help you know I’m here fo you.” A bashful smile playing on his lips.

You start looking around the shelves near the register as an excuse to get closer to him, is it weird to say you missed how he smelled? Sweet and deep rich cologne mixed with the smell of weed, you couldn’t get enough of it.

"So how’s the boy doing? I missed bugging him.” You look at Fez who let out a light laugh. "Don't tell him I told you, but he missed havin' you around. He asked me bout a dozen times when you were movin in.” The smile he gave now was a big toothy grin.

“Well since I moved in and everything is done, maybe we can start hanging out again? I’ve got a new movie list I need to get through.” You say putting some candy bars on the counter.

"Any time, ma. You know my place is as good as yours, and I miss havin you close on the couch.” You blush at his statement, looking at the counter to avoid eye contact.

Ash exited the cooler letting the door slam shut, making you jump a little. “Here’s your shit.” Ash said plopping a brown bag on the counter.

"Thanks little man. Oh, I brought something back for you as promised.” You reach into your back pocket, extending your closed fist towards him before opening to relieve a stone- A Petoskey stone.

"YO!! Dude you actually remembered that!” The boys eyes lit up as he took the stone from you examining it.

“How could I forget! You went on and on for days about how I had to come back and bring you a Petoskey stone.” You couldn't help but recall watching National Geographic with Ash the first time you “babysat” him. You told him you could get one on the beach in your state. He never let it go. You laughed slightly at the memory.

“You ready to go?” Jules said as she walked out of the cooler, a few new marks on her neck. She passed on her way to the car, Rue in tow with a sly smirk on her face.

You chuckle, “Uh o-okay, how much do I owe you fezzy?” The nickname was second nature to you.

“Uh just give me $20 and come by later tonight after we close up.” He said as he bagged your items.

"Sir yes sir.” You chuckled as you walked out and made your way to the car. An ear to ear smile on your face as you got in. "Soooo?” Jules drawled out as you start the car.

"I’m going over there tonight.” You laughed a rush of giddiness wash over you.

"THATS WHAT I’M TALKIN ABOUT BABYYYY.” Rue yelled from the back seat, her and Jules erupting into cheers, wasting no time in punching the ceiling. You laugh, telling them to calm down as you pull off. Counting down the minutes till you can drive back.

Pt.2!!!^

[6robotmonster6]

Ren x You x Rory (Tobby) - More Then Friends

Me? Write a healthy Good Path Ren fanfic??? Yes that's right. Thought yall would like something nice after the last one I did LOL so here is College AU with Tobby + Ren where they're some what regular XD

[Word count: 3,000 ] (in a rambling mood I guess, sorry!)

[Tw: manipulation, crying/ verbal fighting, some incel type behavior, just regular Ren being Ren stuff nothing extreme]

Ren's new "friend" sat himself on the sofa of your dorm room. Seemingly as close as he could get to Ren. You'd imagine this new "friend" would crawl right up Ren's ass if he had the chance. This was your party for Ren to celebrate his year of trauma therapy and though you told him to invite anyone he wanted- you didn't think- who was this guy anyways??? 

The way he clung to Ren you would have thought he was Ren's boyfriend but Ren would have told you that. It's not really like him to not brag about dates even if they were- uhhh atypical? You didn't want to be judgmental but he brought a bobcat into your dorm without warning! You may have never seen one in real life but their aggressive reputation precedes them. It wasn't just that either that man was dressed in all black and smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. Typically that wouldn't bother you but- when he wore it? He looked like he just left a death wall willing to beat the living shit out of you. If Ren wasn't here you were scared of what that bobcat would do to you. You didn't even know him but you could sense he hated you. 

The rest of the small party seemed put off by him too. There were only about 5 people in total, 6 if you included Ren's plus one. They were friendly with Ren. You'd consider all 5 of you one large pack. Yet- admittedly your friends were more yours then Ren's. Maybe that's why he felt the need to keep his "friend" a secret? 

You watch as one of your more confident friends try to wrap Ren's plus one into conversation. He wasn't much of a talker. Until someone starts talking about horror movies- then they couldn't get him to stop. He was extremely interested in practical effects and gore. Oh he loved gore the most. Even knowing when it's realistic or not!

How impressive….

You give Ren a disappointed look. He catches your gaze. He gives you his classic lying smile trying to downplay this. He can't be serious, a gorehound?? That can't be good for him! 

You get up, pretending to fill your drink in the kitchen. This friend of his was graphic in detail, it was disturbing. Ren follows you and only speaks once you both are out of sight of the rest of the guests. 

"It's really not as bad as it looks. Rory just likes dark movies but it's not-" 

"A problem? It's not a problem?" You whisper to him in a harsh tone. Having no idea how far a bobcat can hear. Before Ren can speak you put your hand up to stop him. You take a deep breath before continuing. 

"I care about you Ren, I do and I want you to have friends and relationships! Lots of them- but- I mean- him?"

Ren looks you over before his body language shifts. 

"You're jealous aren't you?" He smirks 

"What??" 

"It's ok if you are~ ♡" 

"Why on earth would I be jealous of you? Redflag edgelords really isn't my type" You scoffed 

The fox flashes you a dejected grimaces. He licks the inside of his teeth. A habit you noticed he does when he's angry. 

"You're jealous of him." He corrects 

You look at him over, confused. He has that look in his eyes. Similar to when he forced you to wear that collar. You remember it all so clearly his horribly misguided attempts at winning your hand. 

"Oh- Ren…you can't be serious…" you groan. You roll your eyes at him. 

"The answer is no. It's been no." You couldn't stress the words enough.

"And why is that?" Ren is quick to act on the defensive. He's been doing so well and now he's relapsing?? 

He tries to get in your way when you go for the tap to refill your cup. You push past him regardless. He protested, slipping in front of you once more right in front of the sink. 

"You hate the idea of me moving on from you. Just admit it!" He sneers in a whisper but you cut him off by pushing past him yet again. He trys to pull you back and you rip your arm away from him. 

"What is wrong with you??" You blurt out not watching your volume. You couldn't believe he was doing this. You thought he was over this type of bullshit. 

"You have a date in the other room Ren, who I may not like, but would be crushed to hear you brought him here only to fail at making me jealous!!" 

Both of you hear commotion near the kitchen entry- snapping around to the sound you see Rory. Of course it's Rory. 

Crushed was an understatement. He looked gutted, as if he was stabbed through the ribcage. Your friend directly behind him looked like he tried to stop this- but he wasn't fast enough. 

When Ren's eyes met Rory's, you watch that cat cry lighting streaks of eyeliner. Before Ren could even think of a response Rory shoved your friend straight to the ground to make his escape. Your friend was the first to get up off the floor to try and chase Rory down. When Ren didn't imitate going after him you scoffed at him in disgust. 

Ren looks up at you like a pathetic wet dog. At this point you're not sure if it's genuine or just another lie. He's about to apologize but you cut him off. 

"Save your act for Rory. I have a feeling you're going to need it" You sneer before quickly turning to go join your friends outside knowing full well Ren would follow you. 

Once outside the whole group was distraught. Rory was missing and every last one of them looks as disappointed in Ren as you were. They tell you they tried to convince Rory to settle down and wait for Ren but he refused. Saying he'd rather walk home. When one of them tried to step in his way he practically mauled them. They were fine, just badly shaken. Nice enough to admit cornering him like that was uncalled for. You really wished your friend's good nature would rub off on Ren one of these days.

Ren seemed to survey the area before just walking off.

"Where the hell are you going??" You called out for him as you watched him walk towards the woods. 

"To play my 'act'." Ren barked back gesturing the quotation marks with his hands. 

The fox slipped right into the blackened woods. 

That was the last you saw of him that night. Just left hoping he'd do the right thing. 

[...] 

Ren followed the strong scent of an ashtray. It was child's play finding him in the woods. Deep within he found Rory hiding away in a den. It was made out of the hollowed space under a large fallen tree. Ren couldn't see any real bobcats around but he could smell one. He would bet money the den Rory hid himself in was a bobcat den. Most cats do accept any hurt kitten they stumble on. Ren imagined they wouldn't take so kindly to a fox. 

Ren tested the steadiness of the tree before climbing on top of it. He was right above Rory but given his smoking habit he couldn't smell him at all. He hears a growl from below him, giving him away. It's the real bobcat who must be huddled up with Rory inside. 

"Not. interested." Rory growled, it was half hearted at best. Ren could hear him suppress a sob. 

"I'm sorry. Really, I shouldn't have done that." He sighs 

He is met with silence. Ren leans over upside down to peek in to see Rory's reaction. Ren startles him at first then he glares, tears in his eyes, a bobcat in his lap. 

"Forgive me?" Ren pleads giving him his best puppy eyes. He needs Rory to accept this or you wont ever forgive him. 

Without warning the real bobcat tries to swat him with a hiss. Ren pulls his head back just in time. 

"No. Fuck no!" Rory growls and Ren can feel a kick from underneath him. 

Frustration builds. Nothing was going right tonight. You were meant to get jealous, admit your secret feelings for him and then everything would be happily ever after! Cue the credits! He wasn't meant to realize that you shoved him so hard into the friendzone that the idea of being jealous over him was a foreign concept. You didn't like him romantically at all…After this, if he can't get Rory to accept his apology. You may not even like him platonically. 

Ren sighs trying to think. His therapist warned him about digging holes he can't crawl out of. That's what lies do; they backfire. It's easy to lie and hide behind them, a lot harder to be authentic. Fear of rejection and all that. He knows but- well- he just thought- fuck. He doesn't really know…

Ren felt something nudge him. He jumps in his skin having heard nothing creep up. 

It's a red fox, a real one.

It too jumps back when Ren does. Then looks at him, tilting his head. Ren sighs in relief then waves. They share a glance. The fox sniffs the dead tree and then looks towards the den and back at Ren. 

"They won't let you in." Ren whispers

The fox looks at him, peeks over just as Ren did and is met with the same horrific snarl. The fox jumps back comically high. Ren can't help but laugh. 

"See?" He shrugs with a sigh 

Ren watches the fox look at the den again and hop down to its level. Fear bubbles up in Ren's throat. That bobcat will kill him! It really shouldn't be so close. He tries to gesture to the fox to come back where he is. It looks at him confused then goes back to creeping closer to the entry. He tries again and the fox completely ignores him. The bobcat starts to growl deep and low the closer the fox gets. Ren thinks about grabbing the fox but is too worried about the wild bobcat. So he watches. 

The fox pokes his head in, the cat hisses and the fox steps back. It tries again slower this time, feeling it out, as if to ask permission. To Ren's amazement he watches the fox slip right inside the den. With nothing but a huff from the bobcat inside.

"Hey!" Ren yelps "you let that fox in but not me??" 

Ren leans over to peek inside yet again to see both animals cuddled up together with Rory. The fox gives Ren a look, then snuggles closer to the real bobcat. Ren is utterly betrayed by his own kin! So much for brothers in arms! 

"He asked." Rory huffs still teary eyed. 

"Well? My I come in~?"

"No." 

"But you just-!"

"He isn't a lier." 

Ren growls in frustration and the real bobcat snarls back at him. His kin is completely silent in his defense, too busy getting comfortable. What a jackass. Leaving him out in the cold, Ren thinks to himself glaring at the other fox. He huffs in frustration. 

"I apologized!" 

"You didn't mean it." Rory states "They even know you didn't." He gestures to the animals with him. 

The bobcat narrows his eyes on Ren and snaps at him, scaring Ren so badly he falls. His own kin starts to laugh. Yacking in that squeaky fox chuckle.

Ren shoots his own kin a glare and the fox snaps its jaws shut before giving him an innocent look. 

Rory laughs at the exchange. 

"What's so funny?" Ren huffs 

"You- both of you." Rory chuckles "He's better at making people jealous then you are" 

He rewards the fox by petting around his ears. Which probably feels really nice. The fox chuckles, happy as can be. 

"Yeah. He is, isn't he…"

Ren looks away with a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lead you on or drag you to that party." 

"I'm not-" He hears Rory take deep breaths to settle his voice "I know you don't like me, Ren…I'm a lot of things but blind isn't one of them." 

When Ren looks over Rory hides himself deeper inside the den, hiding his face. He was completely stunned. 

"Then why did you-?" 

"Idon'tknow" Rory mutters Ren can hear him start to cry again. "I just wanted you to be happy- you seemed happy when I said I'd go-and I likedyouso" Rory shrugged before whipping at his face. The bobcat moves closer to lick at Rory's cheeks. 

Ren inches closer just as his kin did. The bobcat growls but just as the fox before him once he silently asked politely for permission he was let inside. 

It was a tight squeeze with all of them in there but Ren managed. He hushes Rory and pulls him into a hug. Rory hugs him back, crying into his shoulder. 

"I'm mad cause you lied to me." Rory breaks 

"I know, I'm sorry…" Ren squeezes him and this time he can feel his own emotions welling up. 

"I just- I don't know- I thought you only liked me for the snuff films and because I look like Kai. I didn't think-" Ren admits starting to ramble 

"What?" Rory pulls away "No- that's not why at all" He whines

"If that's all I cared about, I think The Dark web has more dangerous red heads than some reformed 5'1 fox !" Rory rolls his eyes then catches himself "no offense…" 

"None taken."

"I like you cause it's- well- you." Rory breaths

At that confession Ren felt his whole face turn red. Sensing the sudden tension Rory adds;

"And cause you're dumb ass." 

"What? I am nooot~" Ren playfully scuffs 

"You are. Dumb enough to like Sword Art." Rory mutters, his smile coming back to him. 

"Hey! That's a great anime!" 

"Is not. It's boring. They spend a whole season on the dumbest shit! And you loved it!" 

"That part is crucial in the narrative! It shows character depth surviving in that world- and- why am I even arguing this? You haven't even finished it yet!" 

At Ren's voice rising the fox laying beside him barks to match his tone. Its tail wags and the red fox squirms around the small den in excitement. Stepping all over the very very  tolerant but annoyed bobcat. 

"See~ He agrees with me" Ren smiles, with his classic smirk. 

Rory doesn't have to respond, the bobcat does so for him. Snapping at the fox with a playful growl. The fox bolts straight out of the den and the cat is quick behind. 

Ren's horribly worried for his kin as he watches the two chase around the forest. He thinks of chasing after them to save the fox but Rory stops him. 

"He's fine." Rory reassures him "Their friends. Couldn't you tell?" 

Sure enough he watches the fox run around the bobcat, pounce him and then run off again for the bobcat to chase him. They were playing. 

"I guess not…" 

"You should listen to your kin, Ren. They have a lot to say." He whispers to him with a soft smile. Ren never noticed how golden his eyes were, with round large pupils. 

Ren feels his heart skip. Rory's confession still fresh in his mind. He looks away, remembering what his therapist said about rushing into things. 

"It's getting cold, we should probably get back home." Ren awkwardly suggested moving away. 

"Yeah- sounds good" Rory awkwardly clears his throat. 

They both shuffle out of the den. Brushes themselves off of any debri they may have collected. 

Ren was typically very knowledgeable on how to act but that's only when he's playing a part. Trying this whole valuable, honest stuff made him feel painfully awkward. All his 'how to act suave' YouTube tutorial history doesn't really help with this. 

"Hey Ren?" Rory's voice made him jump. 

"Yeah?" 

"Thanks. For apologizing…and congrats on your year of therapy." 

Rory pulls out a crumpled ball from his pocket and smooths the paper out again. He hands it to Ren. 

Ren opens the crumbled paper to find it's a hand drawn card. Congratulating him on his progress with more hearts than Ren can count. The two of them together in the most emo style he could think of. It was heartwarming. Perhaps one of the kindest gifts he's received. Even if it was half torn. 

"I'm sorry it's kinda ripped…I got mad and- I'll draw you another one." 

"No, It's perfect. Thank you, Rory" Ren smiles wistfully. He watches in delight as Rory's face turns as red as his markings. 

"Cool." Rory awkwardly replies. Ren noticed how his voice raises an octave. Rory looks utterly mortified. 

Ren can't help but smile at the sight. He has no idea how anyone could think of him as threatening, bobcat or not.

"I'm gonna- yeah" Rory points to the direction of his dorm before awkwardly shuffling away. 

Ren waits till he's a few feet out to call out to him; 

"Hey Rory~?" 

Rory jumps at his name and snaps around. It was so cute Ren had to bite his lip not to bark out a laugh. 

"See you tomorrow? ♡" Ren waves with his fingers

He watches Rory give him a very enthusiastic two thumbs up. Which is the dorkest thing Ren ever saw. He laughs under his breath watching Rory go. Sure it wasn't fair to tease him but- old habits die hard. Anyways…Ren did always love watching him leave~

This was definitely a lot to go over in the next session with his therapist.

[...]

On his way back to his home Ren runs into that fox again. 

He looks at him.

Ren looks back, trying to listen. 

Though he doesn't hear anything, he knows. 

The fox smiles at him and trots away regrouping with his bobcat. 

It won't be easy. He'll fail, mess up and probably be apologizing a lot before he gets a hang of things. They both will. That doesn't mean it's not worth trying. Sure it's a strange mix, it's not like the movies, it's not love at first sight, maybe it isn't love at all but- who knows? 

He left those woods with a distant feeling that he wants to do things right this time. Though he had no idea exactly what that meant, his kin did and he was willing to listen. 

Ren hopes you'll forgive him too. His feelings about you weren't necessarily over. Though maybe being forgiven isn't what matters. As his therapist told him. It was your choice whether or not you would forgive him. Just as it was your choice to reject his advances...

He guesses- that- maybe he's ok with that…whatever happens, it will be ok.

He'll be ok.  

[sineala]

How would you say fandom culture has changed over the years? What are some differences you notice between older and younger fandom folks?

I’ve been thinking for a while about how to answer this, and I’m not sure I have a really good answer, but I’m going to try.

I’ve been in fandom since approximately 1995. Maybe 1994. At that point, the world wide web was a relatively new part of the internet, and the fandoms I was in had most of their activity on privately-hosted mailing lists (predating eGroups/OneList/Yahoo Groups) and on Usenet newsgroups, with fiction beginning to be available on websites as part of either fandom-specific or pairing-specific archives as well as authors’ individual pages. Fanfiction.net did not yet exist. LiveJournal did not exist. AO3 definitely did not exist. If you wanted real-time chat, there was IRC. I was coming in basically at the tail end of zine fandom; zines were no longer the only way of distributing fanfiction, as fandom started to move online. So I have a selection of zines from 90s-era Western media fandoms but even by then zines weren’t where I was doing most of my reading.

I think in terms of generally “what it was like to be in fandom,” the big-picture stuff hasn’t changed. Fandom still produces creative fanwork and likes to, y’know, get together and talk about fandom. Also, almost every fight or complaint that fandom has about something is a thing that has been going on for actual years. People complain that, say, the kudos button is ruining comment culture because back in the LJ days the only way you could comment on a story was, well, by leaving an actual comment, or sending an email on a mailing list, and this might mean that people who would have otherwise commented have left a kudos instead. But back in the LJ and mailing list days, people were complaining that commenting was going downhill since the days of zines, when in order to comment on a story you had to write a real paper letter and mail it and because you had to do that, the quality of feedback was so much better than you got nowadays because people could just dash off a quick email or comment. You get the idea. Top/bottom wars are not new either. Pairing wars are not new. If you’ve been in fandom a while, you will pretty much have seen all the fights already. I think one thing that is new, though, is the fandom awareness of things like privilege and intersectionality and various -isms, as well as things like “providing warnings might be nice” (do you know how much unwarned deathfic I have read? a lot!) and I sure won’t say we’re perfect at any of this now, but I think fandom is trying way way more about all that stuff than it used to.

There are some fights we actually don’t have anymore, as far as I can tell. I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen the “real person fiction is wrong” battle, but also I don’t hang out in a whole lot of RPF fandoms, so it’s possible that’s still going and I just don’t see it.

There also used to be a recurring debate about whether gay relationships that were canonical were slash or not. When slash started, obviously this wasn’t a question because there weren’t canonical gay relationships in fandoms, period. But as gay characters began to appear in media, people started to wonder “does slash mean all same-sex relationships, or does slash mean only non-canonical same-sex relationships?” Now, you may be reading this and think that sounds like an incredibly weird thing to get hung up on, but that’s because what appears to have happened is that the term “ship” (originally from X-Files Mulder/Scully fandom) has, as far as I can tell, come up and eaten most of the rest of the terminology. Now people will just say, “oh, I ship that.” For any pairing, gay or not, canonical or not. Fandom seems to have decided that for the most part it no longer actually needs a term specific to same-sex relationships as a genre.

Similarly, there are a few genres of fic that we used to have also pretty much don’t exist anymore. There are also plenty of genres that are well-entrenched now that are also extremely recent -- A/B/O comes to mind. But there are some kinds of fic we don’t write a lot of now. Like, I haven’t seen smarm in years! I also haven’t seen We’re Not Gay We Just Love Each Other in a while. There was also a particular style of slash writing where you’d basically have to explain, in detail, what made you think that these particular characters could be anything other than straight. You’d have to motivate this decision. You’d have to look at their canonical heterosexual relationships and come up with a way to explain why all those had happened in order to reconcile how this one guy could have romantic feelings for another guy. When had he figured out he wasn’t straight? Who might he have been with before? How does he interact with people in ways that make you think he’s not straight? That kind of thing. You had to, essentially, show your work. And these days a lot of fanfic is just like, “Okay, Captain America is bisexual, let’s go!” It’s... different.

Fandom also used to skew older, is my sense. A lot older. I don’t know, actually, if it really was older, but I get the sense now that there are some younger people who are surprised that adults are still in fandom. I have seen people saying these days that they think they’re too old for fanfiction because they are not in middle school anymore. And I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that the barriers to access fandom are a lot lower than they used to be. You used to basically have to be an adult with disposable income (or know an adult with disposable income who was willing to help you out; but even then if you were reading explicit fiction you also had to swear you were 18+, usually by sending in an age statement to whoever you were buying the zine from or to the mods of the list you wanted to join, so a lot of fandom was very much age-gated). Internet access was not widely available. Even if you had internet access, you maybe didn’t have your own email address, so you couldn’t sign up for mailing lists; free email providers didn’t exist. If you wanted to buy zines, you had to have money to buy them. If you wanted to go to cons, you had to be able to afford the cost of the con, travel to the con, et cetera. If you wanted to have a website you had to know HTML. Social media did not exist. You want to draw art? Guess what, you’re probably drawing it on paper! You might be able to upload a picture to your website if you have a digital camera or a scanner, but both of those things are expensive, and also a lot of people don’t have the capability or the money to download pictures from the internet (some people have data caps with overage charges, and some people have text-only connections!), so they won’t get to see it. Maybe you can sell your piece at a con! You want to make a fanvid? We called them songvids, but, anyway, you know how you’re doing that? You’re going to hook two VCRs together and smash the play and record buttons very fast! If you want anyone else to watch them, you are either making them a tape personally and mailing it to them or bringing your vids to a convention. Maybe you can digitize them and upload them, but it’s going to take people hours to download them!

(Every three hours my ISP would kick me off the internet and I’d have to dial in again. If it was a busy time of day, it might take me 20 or 30 minutes to get a connection again. And that was assuming no one else in the house needed to use the phone line. Imagine if your modem went out every three hours now.)

And now, for the cost of my internet connection, I can read pretty much whatever fanfiction I want, whenever I want it. I can see all the fanart I want! I can watch vids! Podfic exists now! Fanmixes exist! Gifsets and moodboards exist! If I want to write fic I can write it with programs that are completely free, and as soon as I post it everyone in the entire world can read it. If I want to draw or make vids that may require some additional investment, but I may also be able to do it with things I already have. Do you have any idea how good we all have it?

There are a couple of kinds of fan activity that don’t seem to exist anymore, though, and I miss them. I know that roleplaying still goes on, but I feel like these days most people who do real-time text roleplay have switched to things like Discord. I know that in the LJ days, RP communities were popular. But I really miss MU*s (MUDs, MUSHes, MOOs, MUXes..), which were servers for real-time text-based RP with a bunch of... hmm... features to aid RP. There were virtual rooms with text descriptions, and objects in virtual rooms with descriptions, and your character had a description, and they could interact with the objects as well as with other characters, and you could program things to change descriptions or emit various kinds of text or take you to different rooms, and so on. Just to, y’know, enhance the atmosphere. It was fun and it was where I learned to RP and I’m sad they’re pretty much gone now.

I also don’t think I see a lot of fanfiction awards in fandoms. Wonder where they went.

Going back to the previous point, the barriers to actually consuming the canon you are fannish about are way, way, way lower now. You can pretty much take it for granted that if right now someone tells you about a shiny new fandom, there will be a way to read that book or watch that show or movie right now. Possibly for free! Of course you can watch it! Why wouldn’t you be able to?

This was absolutely, absolutely not the case before. I’m currently in Marvel Comics fandom. If there is a comic I want to read, I can read it right now on the internet. I have subscribed to Marvel Unlimited and I can read pretty much every comic that is older than three months old; the newer ones cost extra money. But I can do it all from the comfort of my own home right now. I was also, actually, in Marvel Comics fandom in the nineties. If I wanted to read a comic, I had to go to a comic book store and hope they had it in stock; if they didn’t, I had to try another store. Not a lot of comics were available in trade paperback and they definitely weren’t readable on the internet. I used to read a lot of Gambit h/c fic set after Uncanny X-Men #350. I never found a copy of UXM #350. I still haven’t! But I did eventually read it on Unlimited.

Being in TV show fandoms also had similar challenges. Was the show you were watching still on the air? No? Then you’d better hope you could find it in reruns, or know someone who had tapes of it that they could copy for you, otherwise you weren’t watching that show. It was, I think, pretty common for people to be in fandoms for shows they hadn’t seen, because they had no way to see the show, but they loved all the fanfic. The Sentinel had a whole lot of fans like that, both because I think it took a while for it to end up in reruns and because overseas distribution was probably poor. So you’d get people who read the fic and wrote fic based on the other fic they’d read, which meant that you got massive, massive amounts of fanon appearing that people just assumed was in the show because it was a weirdly specific detail that appeared in someone’s fic once. Like “Jim and Blair’s apartment has a small water heater” (not actually canonical) or “Blair is a vegetarian” (there’s an episode where his mother visits and IIRC cooks him one of his favorite meals, which is beef tongue).

Like, I was in The Professionals fandom for years. I read all the fic. I hadn’t seen the show. As far as I know, it never aired in the US, and it certainly never had any kind of US VHS or DVD release. I’d seen a couple songvids. I eventually saw a couple episodes in maybe 2003, and that was because my dad special-ordered a commercial VHS tape from the UK and paid someone to convert it from PAL to NTSC. I didn’t get to see the whole show until several years later when I got a region-free DVD player someone in fandom sent me burned copies of the UK DVD releases and then I special-ordered the commercial release of the DVDs from the UK myself. But if I were a new fan and wanted to watch Pros right now? It is on YouTube! For free!

I think also one of the things about fandom that’s not immediately evident to new fans is the way in which it is permanent and/or impermanent. There are probably people whose first fannish experience is on Tumblr or who only read fanfic on FFN and who have no idea what they would do if either site, say, just shut down. But if you’ve been in fandom a while, you’ve been through, say, Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Pillowfort, Imzy, DW, JournalFen, LJ, GeoCities, IRC, mailing lists. And sure, if Tumblr closed, it would be inconvenient. But fandom would pack up and move somewhere else. You would find it again. It would, eventually, be okay. Similarly, if you’ve been in a lot of fandoms, if you’ve made a lot of friends, drifting through fandoms is like that. You’ll make a friend in 1998 because you were in the same fandom, and then you might go your own ways, and ten years later you might be in another fandom with them again! It happens.

But the flip side of that is that I think a lot of older fans have learned not to trust in the permanence of any particular site. If you like a story, you save it as soon as you read it. If you like a piece of art, you save it. If you like a vid, you save it. Because you don’t know when the site it’s on will be gone for good. I have, like, twenty years of lovingly-curated fanfic. And I feel like people who have only been in fandom since AO3 existed might not understand how much AO3 is a game-changer compared to what we had before. It’s a site where you can put your fic up and you don’t have to worry that the webhost is going out of business, or that the site might delete your work because they don’t allow gay fiction or explicit fiction or fiction written in second person or fiction for fandoms where the creator doesn’t like fanfiction, or whatever. Because all of those things have absolutely happened. But, I mean, I still save pretty much everything I like, even on AO3, just in case.

So, basically, yeah, fandom is a whole lot more accessible than it used to be. I think fandom is pretty much still fandom, but it’s a lot easier to get into, and that has made it way more open to people who wouldn’t have been able to be in fandom before. There is so, so much more now than there ever was before, and I think that’s great.

[mrsbakashi]

jealousy, jealousy

(Kakashi x Reader)

Summary: you're a crazy ass possessive yandere bitch who is jealous because your husband has too many "fans"

Words: a little over 2.5k

this story is unedited and also English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes (if you have the time/patience I'd appreciate a lot if you told me what's incorrect).

still not comfortable writing fanfic, so it may be a lot out of character, and I'm sorry

this is a mess, please don't judge me

You never knew you were the toxic girlfriend type; but, to be fair, you couldn't have known before. You never really cared for any of the guys you dated, you only used them for some oxytocin every now and then. In fact, the way your friends acted with their boyfriends annoyed you. All that insecurity, jealousy... You just couldn't understand.

Until you met him.

From the very first moment you set eyes on him on your best friend's birthday party on a Friday night your world turned upside down and you just needed to have him. Luckily he felt the same way about you. It was like a movie scene the first time you two saw each other, you forgot how to breath, the whole room just stopped and all you could see was him, slowly walking towards you, a sketchy smile under the mask that covered half his face, squinching his eyes, looking just like a prankish little boy.

He stopped, not too close, but not too far. Just enough for you to hear what he was saying above the loud music, but not enough for you to pretend you tripped onto something, falling right into his arms.

If only he was just a little closer...

"Have we met?" he asked.

His voice was husky, in the most sexy way, and you were already under his spell. There was no salvation. You had no idea who he was, or what was his name, but you knew, on that moment, that his name would come out of your lips a lot, in the dirtiest ways.

"No, but I'm so drunk that there's a possibility that we are not meeting now either, and you're just a product of my mind." you said, without thinking, putting the straw back in your mouth to stop you from saying stupid things again.

"Oh, you think I'm just a product of your mind? And why is that?"

"I mean... Just look at you!"

He laughed, a sound that you loved too much for your own good. It instantly became your favorite sound in the world. Well, maybe his moans would put his laugh in second place, because that voice...

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much. I'm Kakashi, by the way."

"I'm Y/N."

You put the straw back into your lips, biting it. His eyes didn't miss that.

"Look, Y/N, I don't mean to be rude or an asshole, but if you keep biting this straw I might have to take you home with me." His voice was lower now, his hands in his pockets.

"Well, maybe, Kakashi, just maybe, that's what I want you to do. - you said, eyes on his, as if you were challenging him.

He looked at you as if he didn't think he heard you right, but you slid your tongue slowly through the straw and that was all it took. He took you by the hand and you spent the whole weekend together talking, laughing, eating and fucking. And God, he was good at it. He was too good for his own good.

You only left on Monday because you needed to go to work, and even then he dropped you off, lending you a shirt and a sweater so you didn't have to spend the whole day with what you were wearing on Friday night - and so you'd have a reason to see him again, because that was his favorite sweater.

From that day on you were never apart. It took him less than a week to convince you to move to his place, even if you didn't like millions of dogs around - well, they won you later, how could you resist? - and cherished your own space. It didn't matter. You wanted him all for yourself, 24/7, so putting up with all the dogs' barking was such a small price to pay. Plus, the dogs kept you company when he needed to leave on a mission, and one day you woke up to realize that those dogs were everything to you, specially when he was away. They were like little pieces of him, never letting you feel lonely or sad.

Three months later you were married. Yes, it was a surprise when he proposed, and you weren't sure, but he was so happy, so in love, you just couldn't say no. You didn't want to say no. You were scared, but he assured you it'd be fine. You were meant to be. You belonged together. You really did.

But it wasn't long until your insecurities came out. Actually, you had been hiding them since day one, because it was stupid, you had never felt like this. You shouldn't feel like this. But it was Kakashi, and he was your everything. And you understood, you really did. You understood all the girls that were all over him because, well, you were all over him. You are still all over him.

Well, maybe it was a mistake moving together so fast, maybe you should've get to known each other better... Maybe you shouldn't have married right away. Maybe, if you knew he had such a strong fanbase, you would just leave, give them space. But no... Now you had to deal with all the lovely notes in paper hearts, and pictures and cute little presents at your doorstep, specially from 18 year old girls who were once his students or friends with his students. Or basically that just saw him once in their lifetime. And that shouldn't concern you - I mean, were you really threatened by 18 year olds?

Yes. Yes, you were.

They were young, beautiful, those perfect bodies, all that stamina, and they just reached the perfect legal age and who wouldn't want to date a freaking 18 year old? You would dump yourself for a skinny 18 year old. Hell, you would even dump Kakashi for a 18 year old!

No. No, you wouldn't. That was stupid. Not even as a joke is it acceptable. You would never ever! Not even as a joke!

"Hello." He greeted you, kissing the back of your neck.

You took a little jump. That freaking Copy Nin, always so silent. Not even his dogs noticed his presence if he didn't want them to. You continued to scrub the pan because you burnt a fucking tapioca while trying to pretend you didn't care about all of this, and it was so hard to clean it that it would be easier to just throw the pan away and get a new one, probably with a non-stick coating, so you wouldn't have to go throught all this trouble again. But you liked your old pan. In fact, you loved it. You loved it so much that not even the most expensive and fanciest pan in the world could replace it. The freaking Papa could come to your house and give you a new pan saying that that was the only good pan in the world, if you used it you would go straight to Heaven and that it would make heavenly meals, you still would prefer the old one. GOD COULD SHOW UP AND GIVE YOU A PAN HE MADE JUST FOR YOU AND YOU WOULD STILL... Ok, I think you got it. We're not talking about pans.

"Hi." You replied, trying to sound indifferent, as if your heart wasn't burning in your chest.

"Was your day good?"

"Awesome."

"You were having so much fun you forgot your tapioca again?" his mouth was full of what you were able to save from said tapioca. He even ate your tapioca!

"Precisely."

"Good to know."

Scrub, scrub, scrub. Don't think, don't think, don't think. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. Don't yell at him, it's not his fault.

"Is that pink package for me?"

"Well, it's not for me, I don't have any fans."

"I'm your fan."

-- Kakashi, don't even start. - you warned, pointing a finger full of foam at him.

He lick his finger tips, getting the package and opening it.

"Nice, a new wallet. I was needing one." He sounded happy, analysing the new wallet. He was fucking teasing you. He knew what he was doing, yet, he did it anyway.

"What do you mean? I don't take care of you? Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know you needed a new wallet, I thought you old one was just fine, hanging in there through all your shit! And why do you even need a new wallet anyway? You don't even carry your ID or whatever, you don't even carry money! You don't even carry your FUCKING PHONE! I could literally die and you wouldn't know because your phone is NEVER with you! I would have to ask for help to strangers, Kakashi, strangers! I would have to train to dogs to take me to the hospital because you wouldn't answer your phone!"

"They are already trained to take you to the hospital."

"Yeah, well, I'm taking them with me!"

"Ok," he said, tossing the fucking wallet aside "Now tell me what happened."

"YOU, that's what happened! You! You and your stupid fucking huge fanbase of whores!"

"Ok."

"Don't ok me! You know, you should just marry them, marry them all! They'll give you wallets, and masks, and their fucking young and skinny cunts!"

"Yeah, I should."

"And you can all just die or kill each other! With your wallets and bracelets and... You know what?" You tossed the pan on the sink, untying the apron. "I'm out. I'm gonna file the divorce, wait to hear from my lawyers! AND I'M TAKING THE FUCKING DOGS WITH ME!"

"Hey, hey, wait." he called softly, grabbing you by the arm and holding you. "Get it off your system, come on."

"I hate you! I hate you so much! And I hate them! I hope you all choke on these fucking presents and little notes and just have a painfully slow death!" you cried with your head on this chest.

"What else?"

"I hope you have babies who are so sick they won't survive, and then you will kill yourself because you're so sad your children died! And then the whores will kill themselves because you died!"

"Ok."

"No, I don't mean it... I hope the children are happy and healthy, but you and all your whores die because you are all horrible horrible people!"

"And what about the dogs? Do you they die? Even Pakkun? You Pakkun with his cute little paws to die?"

You pushed him with all your strength.

"Shut up! Don't try to be all cute and understanding, I HATE YOU! I'M TAKING THE DOGS!"

"You hate me because I'm... hot? I mean, if I have this huge fanbase I must be hot, right?"

You just couldn't believe your ears. Rage rose through your whole body and you got the now empty plate that was sitting on the table and threw at his head. He easily dodged it. I mean, he's a Jonin, come on.

"FUCK YOU, KAKASHI HATAKE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU AND ALL YOUR NEXT GENERATIONS UNTIL YOU'RE ALL DEAD AND GONE!"

"I was thinking maybe you could fuck me." he said with a wink.

"Is this all a joke to you? GO TO HELL, HATAKE!"

"I love you, Mrs. Hatake, can I take you to hell with me?" You could hear a smile in his voice, he was having fun and you just couldn't stand it.

-- I HATE YOU!

You marched down to your bedroom grabbing the empty suitcase that was under the bed, getting all of the clothes you could grab in your hands and throwing inside it.

"Damned be the day I met you! I hate you! I hate you!" You kept saying while you threw things inside the suitcase.

It took Kakashi around 10 seconds to show up in the bedroom.

"You forgot that sweater" He pointed out when you were zipping the suitcase.

Your eyes went to the wardrobe, the only sweater there was his. His favorite sweater. The one he lent you 2 days after you met. The one you found out later he had bought two hours before the cold night of the party he met you, with money he found on the street. Because it meant lucky. He was cold, found the money, bought a sweater. Lent the sweater to you, because if he was lucky you would come back, you would see him again. And he was lucky. His favorite sweater. That it was yours now, since you were the only one who wore it, and he didn't need it anymore, since you were all the luck he ever wanted.

Your heart was burning with jealousy and hate and love, and tears were streaming down your face like waterfalls and you didn't know what to feel, and it was all too much.

"It'll look better on them anyway!" You said between hiccups, feeling pathetic and ridiculous.

Kakashi put his arms around you, your head on the crook of his neck, and kicked the suitcase to the ground to sit on the bed, shushing you until you'd stopped screaming and ugly crying.

"I hate you..." You still said after a while, but there was no more strength in your voice.

He kissed your forehead.

"I love you. I love you so much it physically hurts. You are my wife. I love you."

"I hope you choke when you are eating them out and then you all die."

Kakashi let out a delicious laugh to that and it enfuriated you that he had fun when you were suffering.

"You are so cute when you are jealous."

"And you'd be cute dead! I might just cut you into pieces and then eat the pieces so you would never ever leave."

"But I will never ever leave. Even if I'm not in pieces inside you. You need to understand this, woman. You are my wife, my everything. We've been married for years! I don't ever want to be apart from you, ever since the second I first saw you. I love you!"

"I love you too... But I also hate you and all these beautiful perfect girls."

"You are the only beautiful perfect girl I care about."

"Fuck you, stop lying to me."

His lips touched yours while his hand caressed the naked skin of your waist. He knew the battle was over for now, and he won. He always did.

"I may be a little possessive." you whispered, as if it was a secret.

"I've noticed." he whispered back, a playful smile on his lips.

"And a little crazy."

"I love that about you. You are so hot when you're all jealous and possessive."

"Is that why you tease me?" You asked, knowing the answer very well.

"Yes. I love that you love me so much it makes you irrational."

"This shouldn't amuse you, Kashi, it's fucked up. I'm fucked up."

"Everything you do amazes me. I love you. I love you. Forever."

"You won't find it so cute anymore when I have a knife in your stomach because I saw you talking to one of your beautiful fans."

"Good luck trying to stick a knife in my stomach, my love."

"I hate you! I'm not joking! I'm gonna kill you. If I ever EVER see you flirting with another woman I will kill you! I don't care you are a ninja. I'll get one of the dogs to kill you. Or them all!"

"And why are you going to kill me?"

"Because I love you. I love you so much I'm gonna kill you!"

Kakashi laughed again, and it would enfuriate you, but you were calmer now. He had this effect on you. And now that you were calmer you could see how the whole situation was ridiculous.

"That's what I thought" he said, smiling, kissing for hand.

You were wandering your fingers through his uncovered face, memorizing his features with your finger tips. He was so handsome sometimes it looked like a dream that someone like him could exist. It wasn't fair. And to think that you were the only one who saw him with his mask down was crazy. He shared his life with you. He shared everything with you. Even his toothpaste. That alone should be enough to keep you happy and sure of his love, but anxiety and your insecurities just kept getting in the way of your happy ever after. You didn't deserve it. No. Not you. And everyone knew it, that's why they looked twice at you when they saw you with him, and that's why the girls left little presents at your door step, hoping he would eventually wake up and realize what an ugly trainwreck you were. And you feared that day, because it had to come. It had. It's like being sure that the morning will come. You can close all the windows, turn off all the lights and pretend it's still night, but people will eventually realize it's morning. And Kakashi would wake up too. So you're better hold to this little piece of heaven you had while it lasted.

For now he was yours. For now.

"I love you." You just said, sitting in his lap, lips dangerously close to his. "You're mine, I love you. I love you." you kept repeating, hoping it would be enough to make him stay forever.

His hands were firm on your hips, keeping you exactly where he wanted you, letting you feel how hard he was, turned on by you being the possessive freak that you are. At least you had this. He was still attracted to you and to your ugly body. But that would go away too.

"Hmm... Now that I think about it I think you need to show me who I belong to, because I think I forgot." He whispered right into your lips, challenging you.

And the challenge was accepted, as it always was. The suitcase on the floor received a few more clothes, yours and his, and you spent the night showing each other just how strong your love was. And he made you feel like the most beautiful and loved woman in the whole wide world.

[thekitsunesiren]

Looking for Roleplay Partners

About Me:

Descriptive Roleplayer. My minimum is five computer lines and I can write up to two paragraphs when really interested invested to an rp. (My Writing Samples)​

I rp 1x1, and not groups. I've tried it several times, and it became hard to follow so I really don't do them.​

I am Eastern Daylight Time, but different time zones are completely fine with me. The more partners the better! :)​

I am looking for long term roleplay partners that I can be able to talk, plot and rp with.​

I love to plan out roleplays and make tons of headcanons and such as we go!​

I roleplay in third person. First and second just feels weird to me.​

I rp oc x oc (original only) and oc x canon. Canon x canon really doesn't keep my interest for long so I avoid it when I can.​

We can double up or do one on one. If we do the latter, I have a preference of playing my oc or being the female lead.​

For all fandoms I am apart of, I have an descriptive oc at the ready for whenever I rp. The same if we roleplayed an original storyline/setting.​

Some fandoms have their own storylines and plots to go with them as well!​

For some roleplays, I know some people like to take the romantic route, but I'm open to any. You can do romantic, platonic, or even familial routes with any character when we roleplay.​

I do rp 18+ content, but only if my partner is of age.​

I do not want just a smut based roleplay. I want action, interaction, drama! Smut is fine as long as it's the minority of the roleplay.​

Fandom-wise, I'm also a big fan of crossover roleplays as well. But that can be up for you to decide.​

I'm always open to listening to my partner and their boundaries. So if there's something about an rp that makes you uncomfortable, we can work a ways around it to solve the problem.​

I have the preference of building up to a scene instead of just jumping into it. Whether it be casual or sexual.​

I don't like love triangles, but i'm open to polyamorous relationships in rps. I can play up to three partners.​

Preferred Genres:

Romance

Action/Adventure

Slice of Life

Drama

Comedy

Friendship/Platonic

Big NOS:

I do not enjoy being ghosted. If you don't want to continue roleplaying, or there's something about my style you don't like, please tell me instead of just never replying again.

I will have no homophobic, transphobic or any other negative talk about anything from my partner. If that is an attitude that you are going to have, I'd rather not rp with you.

Communication is a big thing with me. So if you want to be my partner, do not just message me and start commanding me on what to do. if you have something in mind, please tell me and we can plan it out together, but bossing me around before we even start is going to make me not want to rp with you.

Non-con in anyway is one of the things I cannot stand. If you have a character that has it as a backstory, that's fine. But please do not mention or try to lead anything into "on screen".

Other topics I won't allow is abuse, yandere, drug use, necrophilia, large age gaps (10-20 years+), incest, pedophilia, slavery (sexual or forced), and cannibalism. There are some other topics that I do not approve of, but they will be written once I remember the words XD.

I will not do horror or historical based storylines.

It isn't a big no, but I'm not a big fan of triangles.

Fandoms:

Anime:

Naruto

Naruto Shippuden

Overlord (Season 4)

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma

That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Boku no Hero Academia

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid

Hetalia

Cartoons:

Danny Phantom

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Tv & Movies:

Marvel Cinematic Universe

DC Extended Universe

Rise of the Guardians

Kingsman

Riddick Series

Harry Potter Series

The Walking Dead

Video Games:

Undertale

Cuphead: Don't Deal with the Devil

Dragon Raja

Genshin Impact

Pokemon (All Games, Regions, Shows, etc.)

Crossover Ideas: (Either Original Ideas or Ideas Gained by Reading Fanfics :) )

Danny Phantom x Dc

Danny Phantom x Marvel

Danny Phantom x Gravity Falls

Danny Phantom x The Walking Dead

Danny Phantom x Boku no Hero Academia

Danny Phantom x Stranger Things

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Harry Potter

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Genshin Impact

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid x Marvel/Dc

That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime x Marvel/Dc

That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime x BNHA

Harry Potter x Marvel

Harry Potter x Dc

Harry Potter x Criminal Minds

Harry Potter x The Walking Dead

Kingsman x The Walking Dead

Kingsman x Marvel

Plenty more can be up for debate if you're interested.

And that is it!! If you read through my entire forum and liked what you saw, do not be afraid to dm me. If not on here, you can find me on discord @ IcyFoxy18#6849. I hope I can find plenty of partners and that we all get along. And don't be afraid to ask me any questions.

[tobi-smp]

Note: please read this post talking about dark sbi (and dark fic in general) as a genre before starting discourse on this post (if you’re so inclined to do so) [Link]

If nothing else so we’re all on the same page.

but! I would Also like to point out the catch22 that many sbi fic writers face as far as tagging goes.

tagging in dark fiction is very important. it’s important in All fics, both as a sorting tool and as a courtesy to the readers, but the stakes are Upped when the content in a fic carries subject matter that can be upsetting or even triggering. your readers need to be allowed to make informed decisions when they consume your content.

this is also why it sticks out More when there are mistakes in tagging with dark fic, Especially in a fandom like the dream smp where the source material has an abundance of dark themes to delve into and a fan base that has exposed a lot of young people to fanfic and to ao3 specifically for the first time.

I can say from experience (and I do mean a Lot of experience) both with general dsmp fic and dark fic that I don’t think there’s a noticeable discrepancy between people mucking up the tags in one vs the other. but I can Also say from experience that it’s more jarring and potentially Upsetting when the subject matter not being tagged for is on the more extreme end.

so dark fic gets this reputation as being Particularly Bad at tagging (and therefore bad as a genre) when that isn’t particularly true. and it’s difficult to talk about, because part of the core idea is Right. tagging Is, in a way, More Essential here even when it’s a universal courtesy. but it’s also blatantly singling a genre out because it’s not universally appealing enough to have it’s issues filed down like people do for other genres.

but then On The Flip Side, writers of dark fiction will also often be Punished for accurate, robust tagging. sometimes Dramatically so.

I mainly see this happen in two ways.

1: people who treat writing descriptive tags (meaning going into detail about what, exactly, is present within the content of the fic. not in how Specifically it’s worded) as the Same Thing as direct exposure to whatever content may be triggering.

which is something that I can Empathize with, I think we’ve all had instances where we’ve had a full body cringe reading the tags on a fic and have to scroll speedily away, but that’s Obviously Obstructive To The Implementation Of Trigger Warnings.

it’s not fun to see the word “rape” written out but if it’s in a movie then it’s much Better to see it written out in a trigger warning than to find out by watching it yourself.

but still, people will argue that if the tags themselves are objectionable enough (by their own metric of course) then that content just should not exist at all. which can absolutely Discourage people from Giving their content robust trigger warnings and tags.

2: people outright harassing a fic creator because they saw an objectionable tag and made assumptions about what Must Be in the content of the fic.

this is something that’s Particularly problematic within the dark sbi space because it’s a familial relationship being depicted with these dark themes that often times dip into possessive and intense emotions.

which means that misinterpretations of these tags (both willful and accidental) can be used to rather Awful Effect to demonize the author.

this isn’t theoretical either. about a week or two ago discussions on the validity and morality of dark sbi as a genre were brought up again on twitter because people had singled out and harassed an author over the use of a tag.

the tag in question was “non-consensual touching,” which Yes can definitely sound alarming. but that terminology, while loaded, is not inherently sexual or romantic in nature as Consent is not inherently sexual or romantic in nature. teaching your child that they don’t have to hug their aunt if they don’t want to is teaching them consent just the same as teaching your child that they don’t have to have sex if they don’t want to is.

and in this case it Was meant completely platonically in the context of the fic, meaning Hugging and Cuddling. the entire conversation was based on content of the fic that Was Not There, that had been imagined based on tag that is Accurate but not incriminating in the way that it was being presented as.

and yes, it Could have been worded differently (maybe “non-consensual cuddling”? it’s less immediately alarming but also less inclusive) and it Was the work of clumsy wording from a young author, but also that’s exactly it.

when we create an environment where young authors who haven’t done anything Wrong can not only be punished but Mass Shamed extremely publicly for fumbling the wording of a trigger warning because people are actively Looking for reasons to start controversy over this genre then all we do is foster an environment where people Don’t tag.

the content of the fic Did Not contain what it was being accused of, if the author had simply Not done courtesy of trigger tagging for content that Could potentially be upsetting to some people then they wouldn’t have been mass harassed and dog piled, and I absolutely would not blame them for internalizing that fact. but that also makes the community Less Safe overall (at least internally).

so we’ve created this catch22 where dark fic authors are shamed and harassed for not being descriptive Enough with their tags, but Also where dark fic authors can be shamed and harassed for being descriptive about their writing at all. where people are willing to start harassment and smear campaigns without double checking the content of the fic because the tag itself was So Personally Offensive for them to read.

if we want people to foster an environment where dark content can be consumed Safely, where people can make informed decisions before Entering a fic, then we Cannot punish people for broadcasting what’s in their fic to give people the Information With Which To Make Decisions With.