#non monogomous

[feeldco]

[jax-likes-snax]

I hate the way other queer people disregard that human relationships are more complicated than how amatonormativity portrays it, like seeing other queer people disregard the ace, aro, and/or poly experiences because it doesn't fit in their neat little box, even though you'd think they more than anyone else would also understand how complicated human relationships can be and the multiple different ways we can experience attraction, and the way everyone tries to shove every experience into a neat little box, I hate amatonormativity and wish we could all just experience relationships of every kind however comes natural to us instead of needing to fit them all into neat little boxes like society pushes

[lyynpop]

once again here to appreciate the a-spec/polyamorous solidarity. absolutely adore our collective middle finger to amanormativity and toxic monogamy it's so sexy and cool of us

[geekysteven]

[joy-haver]

Throw back Thursday to this chart I made for whether I should date someone or not.

It also works for other types of relationships, but I find that I need to remind myself of it more with romantic relationships so I framed it around that.

[theloveliestliz]

The purity culture poster child to slutty polyamorous adult pipeline remains undefeated.

[alexissara]

Happy Day of Visibility for Non-monogamy

[Image From Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko!]

Today is Day Of Visibility for Non-monogamy, I am polyamarous, I've written about it a few times in recent days so feel free to ya know search Polyam on my blog and you'll see plenty of writing if you want more but today is gonna be completely personal chat. So strap in for my asexual lesbian polyamarous life.

I personally attempt to be as non hierarchical as possible, I am engaged [and have been] to my Fiancé whom i've dated since I was in Freshmen year of high school so obviously we have tons of history and in these 15 years of love i've never felt like I needed monogamy in my relationship with them. I've dated a set of long distance partners for around 8 years now and I love all of those women and wouldn't replace them for the world, we spend hours and hours every single day talking. I had a recent ex girlfriend whom I almost dated for 2 years before our break up and I have a non traditional subby dommy kinda thing going on with a really sweet girl that's been going on for over a year now.

My Fiancé has been dating another amazing girl who I think is amazing [as a friend] for like 5 years now and she has a boyfriend who is married to another woman but he lives with her. My Girlfriend has been dating another girl who is like one of my best friends ever for a lot of years now too. I have a pretty good relationship with the whole polycule and I am really happy to be able to not just have all this love but to have all this love for my partners. It's super fun to see my partners date and fall in love and explore themselves in new ways, it's fantastic.

I would say my approach is mostly a relationship anarchist style in that I let relationships be what they are as opposed to feeling like a strict line from what interactions with people of particular titles can be. That said when we decide on a title I do take them very seriously and want to respect when a relationship has elevated into something clearly romantic between me and those other people. I love, love but I also understand that I only have so many hours in the day and I want to make sure I am treating everyone well.

Non-Monogamy can be a little bit of work but relationships can be too. At first I was really bad at polyamory, I thought you had to be in a relationship with everyone dating everyone and tried to like force that kind of dynamic which neither of my partners appreciated and they sat me down to clear it up with me that they weren't interested in each other romantically. I also worked to stop comparing people to each other. It had always been that different partners had given had given me different things in my life.

Two years ago I was really sick, like constantly in and out of the hospital sick. During that time I only grew to appreciate my polycule even more. Having my loved ones all in a group chat giving each other updates, having people be awake at different hours so I couldn't be alone and depressed and feeling horrible. I felt so lucky to have so much love and to be showered in that affection all of them trying their best to help take care of me. Honestly, I don't know if my mental health could have been as okay as it was in such a terrible state with that constant affection from everyone.

I hope we can live in a world that becomes more accepting of non monogamy and that we have more rights. My partners matter so deeply to me and I couldn't chose between them. Like a body needs a bunch of different vitamins I need a lot of different love to stay healthy. This is who I am, this is who my heart is, this is me. To every other non monogamous person out there, your not alone, your seen, your loved and we have each other if we don't have anything else.

[crazycatsiren]

I'm just curious.

Fellow polyamorous people, do you consider your polyamory to be a sexuality or a lifestyle?

I'm bisexual and polyamorous. I've always thought of the former as my sexuality and the latter as my lifestyle.

[annecriedpower]

The compersion these two have for each other GIVES ME LIFE. Yes, thank you very much. This is good non-monogamous relationship rep! ~ What We Do in the Shadows, S04E06 (2022)

[mineowncreationizm]

Social Rules I Do Not Abide By

Rough Draft- 6/27/2023

When the man at the rental car shop

Asks me our relation

I have to pause

Before opening my mouth

The man already knows

That the woman who just left

Is my partner

I am so proud to be with you

But if I call you my husband

I do not know

How the man will respond

I also do not know

If he sees the name

Of your wife on the policy

If he does

It would call my answer into question

Because according to the normal rules

You may have only one

And so,

When the man at the rental car shop

Asks me our relation-

I grit my teeth

And just say, "family"

[jax-likes-snax]

Dude it's so weird how monogamous people will take personal offense to your open or polyam relationships, as if it's their personal business how your relationship works and they try to make up the rules of your relationship for you. I'm perfectly happy with the idea of my boyfriend sleeping with other people, yet one of his online friends took offense to that today and told me I was just encouraging him to cheat, and when I tried to explain to him that cheating means boundaries have been crossed and the rules of what loyalty means to your personal relationship means to your were broken he got so mad at me on my behalf and tried saying shit like "This new generation just wants to normalize cheating" as if he isn't the same generation as me and my boyfriend. Like it's our relationship and we agreed that it's alright for him to sleep with others, but this monogamous guy got so offended by it because of his past experiences with cheating. And I know damn well that this is a common occurrence for non monogamous people to deal with. Why do monogamous people feel so entitled to make the rules of our relationships for us?

[errorid-mt7lt7k7unfr9ttfua5]

disclaimer: i believe anyone can use whatever labels they want in regards to their Queerness

ok, so, now with that out of the way:

as a Polyamorous person, i Very Strongly Despise the use of the term Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM), Entirely because--imo--there is a strong implication (if not an explication) that Non-Monogamy is By Default UNethical, and i feel that it is very reminiscient of "im bi but I'm not like *THOSE* bi people" in the sense that, to an extent, both Bi/MSpec people And Polyamorous people have a somewhat negative perception both within and without the Queer Community as essentially being slutty or prone to cheating, and i feel that people who use the term ENM are attempting to distance themselves from those negative stereotypes, which is valid and understandable, but perpetuates Queer Assimilationist Ideals (which i am vocally opposed to in all spaces where i discuss Queer Theory)

[blackponderer]

(The Ethical Slut, p. 10-11)

[chaos-in-one]

People always wanna label polyamorous relationships as toxic and deceitful and a sign of commitment issues but like

I've been in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships and 100%, the polyam ones I have been in have been so much healthier. There was better communication, we where more committed to the relationship, and a lot happier.

Obviously polyamorous relationships can be toxic. Literally any relationship can be without proper communication, respect of boundaries, and willingness to commit to the relationship. But it most definitely is not an issue specific to, or, I would argue, even prevalent in, polyamorous relationships.

[vastingedachten]