#non sam aromantic

[papercranesandpride]

Shout out to all of the non-SAM aromantics and allosexual aromantics who decided to browse what exactly our fellow community members posted to get aromantic trending and found it was, inevitably, a whole lot of stuff about "stealing valentine's day for the aroaces," aroace headcanons, aroace pride, and "making sure asexuality and aromanticism trend for valentine's day" and just generally conflating aromanticism with asexuality and ignoring our existence yet again. I know I was very excited about seeing us get to have our moment in the spotlight, and then had it crushed by being erased and drowned out in my own community yet again.

Apparently some people don't realize that this holiday still sucks even if you're not ace, because it is much more of a holiday about love and celebrating your romantic partner than it is about sex.

It's always fun to be reminded why generally I stick to allo aro and loveless tags and avoid the main aro one like the plague. I'd rather not see a thousand aroace posts to every one that actually applies to me.

Anyway. As a perpetually angry alloaro, I see y'all.

[agressivelyaro]

Why I'm no longer using the label non sam aro

I don't really talk abt my label usage/personal stuff a lot but I wanted to shed some light on actual aro experiences being out irl. I feel like tumblr is often an echo chamber of aro acceptance and it's easy to forget not everyone irl understands the community as well as people online.

I've used the label non sam aro for a while, and aromantic for even longer. I did briefly identify as ace but did not come out to anyone in my life/let them know I was using that label, and soon found out that I'm not ace.

Recently, people have been assuming or erasing parts of my identity. From adding ace to the aro, or completely ignoring my aromanticism and just calling me ace. it's uncomfortable to be forced into a box, let alone one that doesn't fit you at all. I've corrected people before but every time it's a fruitless effort

In order to avoid this, I'm now using the label aromantic bisexual. I like the label bi, I feel like it's a good descriptor of me and I have used it in the past. I feel like, when I'm not providing a sexuality, people take it upon themselves to fill that gap with the term asexual despite me having never mentioned it before.

I think a part of it is people not liking to think about sexual attraction without any romantic. in order to 'justify' my aromanticism, they feel like I have to be ace.

In calling myself bi, I'm hoping that people will have no choice to avoid the idea of another part of my identity. If I provide a label completely separate to the one they're putting on me, they'll have to choose the one I chose. Even if people then erase my aromanticism, at least they'll be calling me bisexual, a label that I chose myself.

TLDR: I'm no longer calling myself non sam aro, and am instead calling myself aromantic bisexual, in the hopes that people irl stop forcing the asexual label on to me.

[aiizaph]

saw your post on how exhausting being alloaro is and. i just want to say. we love you sm and i hope you have a great day <33

Tysm. I’m technically a non-SAM aro (though, I really wish I was aroallo) but I did make that post generally about aromantics who aren’t asexual (non-SAM aros, aroallos, people who only use the aromantic label, and possibly more). It’s a bit disheartening to see that the amount of ace/aroace people liking that post is creeping up, but I’m glad there are other non-ace aros finding it.

I just hope that one day, I’ll be able to find someone like me irl… Then maybe I could finally stop feeling so alienated and alone all the time…

[ryanyflags]

Non-SAM ace and aro vesil terms :>

Non-SAM-AceVesi / VesiNon-SAM-Ace : a term under the vesil umbrella, in which many or all parts of ones identity are affected/defined/described by being non-SAM asexual/ace.

Non-SAM-AroVesi / VesiNon-SAM-Ace : a term under the vesil umbrella, in which many or all parts of ones identity are affected/defined/described by being non-SAM aromantic/aro.

───────────────

Non-SAM stands for non split attraction model.

I'm not sure about the names. If anyone else has any ideas on how to shorten it / what else to call it, then feel free to suggest it. Also, for the names, I just capitalized and added hyphens to make it easier to read, it doesn't have to be written like that.

The flags I based the colors off of are the alt non-SAM ace and aro flags made by me, here. I made 2 versions for each vesil term, one with 5 stripes and another with 7 stripes.

───────────────

Vesil Masterpost

[aro-acethetic]

Non-SAM aromantic + deserts + 80s sci-fi grunge for @decayed-foundations !

Sources:

x x x x x x x x x

[aro-absol]

Hi, saw you reblog a non-SAM aro ask game! Here's a few I'd like to hear about from you, if you're comfortable! :)

Would you be able to classify yourself as closer to / fitting in better with aroace or aroallo people? Or not?

What is a sign from your childhood that you were non-SAM aromantic?

What would you tell your younger self, in relation to your aromanticism?

Is there a song that gives you non-SAM aromantic vibes?

Thanks for the ask!

2. Would you be able to classify yourself as closer to / fitting in better with aroace or aroallo people? Or not?

I think my experiences align a lot more with the aroaces than with the aroallos. I don't really know if I feel sexual attraction or not. So technically, I could just slap a quoisexual label on and call myself aroace. But the thing is, I don't care about my sexuality at all and the ace label doesn't sit with me right.

Because what connects me to the aroallo community is the focus I put on my aromanticism. It seems to be a common thing in the aroace community to deem your ace identity more important than your aro identity. Which, on individual level, is totally fine; of course you can make that decision for yourself. However, that is often assumed to be a general aroace experience to the point that even allos who barely know anything about aroace people think it's true (see the treatment of every fictional aroace character ever). With this kind aromantic erasure, I feel not very comfortable in aroace spaces online. There is no sense of belonging like there is with the aro community.

It might just be a stepping stone for me, but right now it feels best to not sort myself in the asexual - allosexual binary.

12. What is a sign from your childhood that you were non-SAM aromantic?

There aren't that many, to be honest. I was painfully oblivious to the fact that allos actually have crushes in their teenage years, so I didn't really notice I was not within the norm. When I was little (like six or so), I never really imagined being partnered in the future. But apparently, other kids that age think about who'll they marry someday. I never ever did. But that's all I can think of right now.

16. What would you tell your younger self, in relation to your aromanticism?

That it exists. I would grab myself by the shoulders and shake while telling myself that everyone my age has crushes and I don't. And that that is called being aromantic and that I'm allowed to call myself that.

18. Is there a song that gives you non-SAM aromantic vibes?

I have a collection of songs that, to me, are about love from an aromantic point of view. While some of the songs are from an aroallo perspective, many don't mention sexuality at all so they fit in with non-SAM aromanticism very well.

Some favorites would be "Sorry" by Halsey, "Never been in love" by Will Jay and "Zero feelings" by Zoe Clark.

I posted my full playlist here.

[bumblingbee1]

People from this place are fucking amazing!

[nonsamaro]

friendly reminder that the creator of the non sam aro flag & current host of the system who is technically non sam aro were never "just aro" and the flag is not a just aro flag, but specifically a non sam aro flag.

while bein just aro is a valid identity and some ppl who are just aro are also non sam aro, it is disrespectful to label the flag as a just aro flag as well as disrespectful to all non sam aros who do not identify with just aro to have their identity be assumed to be a synonym of just aro

creator was a bi gay non sam aroflux

current host is a gay aro (technically still fallin under non sam aro as I do not identify with the concept of sexual orientation)

both were/are aros who date as well and genuinely are in love with the concept of love and love the word love, and the flag is inclusive of aros who like to partake in romantic things

[kittycathat]

"the A in LGBTQIA is for Ally, and nothing else" no thank you sir how about you die

x

[st-ivangeline]

i saw a post awhile back saying people don’t want queer representation they want queer romance, and that really put words to how i feeling about shipping culture

like wednesday and enid stood in the same room together, didn’t even like each other , and people were screaming at the top of their lungs “MARRIAGE!!”

i think that’s fundamentally why we get so little representation of the trans community and the aro and ace spectrums, i still have yet to hear the word Aromantic on film or tv (i know there’s a tv show rn in i think japan that features a aroace lead i haven’t watched it yet) i’ve seen clips of shows here and there that use the word asexual so that’s good but from what i understand they’re alloace representation which still allows the characters to participate in romance (someone correct me if there’s aroace rep)

idk it’s all just exhausting

i really wish there was a stronger push for like queer people just existing in tv and film instead of the only option being romantic relationships

[musingaro]

i love you aroallos. i love you cishet aros. i love you non-sam aros. i love you aros that society deems ‘not queer enough,’ you existing is enough.

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

Giving every aroallo, just aro, and non-asexual aromantic person a respectful nod, hug, high five, handshake, or smile

[agressivelyaro]

(for science)

[aiizaph]

Decided to put some blue/green Pokémon on the non-SAM aro flag for fun

Feel free to use as pfps. Credit’s not necessary.

[bloompawz]

this has probably already been done, but it popped into my brain and I had to make it so here you go

+ aroallo, non-sam aro, and neu aro variants

➹DON'T TAG THIS AS ASEXUAL/ACE OR AROACE➹

[klavierpanda]

Please remember aroace and aroallo do not form a binary. There are people in between and people outside of it