#nope im half dead

[serenqa]

drawing air prophet for someone on sky wiki

[evilminji]

:T Hello there, Thought(tm) of the day...

I? Just remembered that Constantine's "Laughing Magician"(?) title is... f*ckin HEREDITARY?

Like?? As in The Constantine Meances have been out here, harrasing divinity and demons alike for GENERATIONS on behalf of a Good Time, the Lols, and probably Humanity if they can be arsed and you make a good case.

W... What chance would there even BE of at least like? HALF those f*ckers(conflicted but affectionate) NOT becoming Realms Ghosts? With the sh*t they're exposed too? With THEIR luck??

You think DEATH can trick them? Take them away for good? Take away the local Rat B@stard, Tricks Gods Just To See If He Can, Fate Is My Second Mistress and I Cuckold Glory On Your Mother's Bed, Constantine?

They run down main street, *ss in the breeze, wearing someone else's shirt and two shoes that don't match, not a stitch else, like run away lovers. Let Death TRY and catch them. Sorry, Luv, it's not them, it's definitely you.

..........I bet they're the wooooorst~~✨️

No joke, I bet they set up a whole *ss TOWN of Constantine.

Where the odds are in THEIR favor, gods fear to tread, and reality straight out stops working right. Like Diagonal Ally for B*stards, extended to a whole floating island. Everyone's related. It's Chaos. They can barely stand each other. Would sell each other for a toothpick.

Mess with ANY off them... and you can kiss your afterlife good bye.

They have NO neighbors because both no ones dumb enough to get NEAR them AND no one can stand to be around that many Constantines at once. The physical Manifestation of Fate wants to take the whole LOT of the handsy F*CKS to court for child support and a restraining order.

Somehow... they keep getting Earth Booze.

They SHOULDN'T have access. It's been anywhere from decade to centuries since they died. Millennium for a few. Howms't The F*CK, do they keep getting cheap gin and vodka? Bourbon and beer? Even the odd fruity cocktail for funnies.

Please... PLEASE! Tell the Zone at large, that their innate birthright powers STOPPED at Death. They... they are just REALLY good at smuggling right? Excellent con men?

Tell us they can't f*ckin PREDICT AND INFLUENCE Natural Portals!!!

*smug sipping noises from a large room full of Dead @ssholes*

Okay... They Won't Tell You~ 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Now! I hear you ask? Why are John's Terrible, Terrible, God Awful Ghostly Relatives relevant? Absurdly powerful as they are... they seem to take the afterlife as an extended "Ha! GET F*CKED, DEMONS WHO WANTED MY SOUL!" Vacation/Family get together.

Minded their business and expected everyone to mind THEIRS, or ELSE.

Didn't give two solitary SH*TS that Pariah woke from his little nappy-poo to cause a tantrum. After all, in their family? When DOESN'T some "great and terrible Power That Be" get itself in a snit? Meh... it's baby Johnny's turn to clean sh*t up. Best of luck to 'im~!

But THEN!

They must've been drinking... making out with their equally terrible and bamf trainwreck significant others... sitting around playing "who can cheat best at cards"... when? Huh.

Never seen the Fate and The Odds... STRANGLE like that.

Billions of billions of What-Ifs, Maybes, Could-bes, and more... suddenly YANKED towards a single spot. The allowance of Only One Outcome. Almost like what they can do, but... not, WRONG, per say...

Just... impossible.

There's NEVER.. JUST one way this plays out. You can control the big notes. The script. But the details and set dressing will always decide themselves.

NO ONE can just... Decide What Will Happen. And yet?

...............was....... was that Little Johnny? Has to be. Right? Where's his old man? Oi! Was that your Kid??! John's closest relatives are baffled. Nope. They can still feel him laying a beat down on some demon in Norway. So then? Who?

How?

Well mark them CURIOUS(tm).

They decide to actually get up. Put their various drinks and cards down. Put pants on. Somebody's done something... INTERESTING(TM) and they want to know what's up. So? Off they trot.

It's traumatizing for everyone who sees them. The Constantines have breached f*ckin B*stard Containment and are spilling into the Zone. On this! The DAY Pariah Waged A War! THEY JUST GOT RID OF HIM!

And Danny? His everything hurts. The Eyeballs are starting to come out of the woodwork and ARGUE about him like he's not even there. He's DANGEROUS blah blah blah. Give them the crown. Right now! Etc etc.

Somethings telling him not too.

It's... it's HIS isn't it? Has been for centuries and seconds. And... and... everyone one of him is King. There is only one of him. The Zone covers all the multiverse and all of the Hims that were and aren't here and helped and... and...! His head is starting to hurt.

But the more they try to push him to hand it over, the less he feels like unhanding the dang gaudy thing. No. His now. He'll use it as a DOOR stopper if he dang well feels like it! Stop yelling.

Then all these blonde ghosts saunter in... and all he can think is "F*ck. I think they noticed."

Huh?

@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites @bjurnberg @the-witchhunter @hdgnj

[byhuenii]

⊱☆⊰ female nanamin ?!

synopsis — dating THE nanami kento’s younger sister. (WC: erm..) pairing — gojo satoru x nanami!reader warnings — not proofread, fluff, typos, whipped satoru, switched between you/your to she/her (im just indecisive) , maybe more im missing. a/n — nanami :heartbroken: i thought of this idea and i’d thought it’d be funny because nanami is DEF a protective older brother i mean look at the way he beat tf out of haruta…just sayingg~ this lwk shit but i was bored

gojo satoru the strongest sorcerer in the world was here at jujutsu tech following you around like a lost puppy,

“ satoru go away” you groaned fasting your walking pace of course it was no as the long legged man studded. “ no you haven’t paid attention to me ” he whined grabbing your hand pulling you closer to him,

“ you know damn well we could get caught. ” your eyes wondered the empty halls looking for anyone or everyone who could pass by

“ but isn’t that the fun part? getting caught? ” he smiled stuffing his face in the crook of your neck, “ mhm, fun until kento catches you ” your hand snakes up to his hair combing through it,

“ he’s never caught me. ” he sounded so proud, “ you’re such a liar. remember that one time… ”

(flashback in the spongebob voice)

“ please just once kiss come on, ” gojo begged circling around you annoyingly, your shoulders tended up. “ shut up gojo! ” you hushed him pushing,

“ just one please just oneee~ ” his whines only got whiner and whiner. covering your ears ignoring the whiney unkissed man “ la la la i cant hear youu~ ” marching toward you made a b-line to your classroom ducking and dodging the man’s attempt.

your classroom door was in sight but the man child following you grabbed you pining you againts the wall, pulling your hands down from your covered ears “ now that was just mean yn, why’d you do that broke my heart ” he dramatically sighed stuffing his face into the crook of your neck placing small kisses,

it brought him comfort. the perfume you had sprayed on earlier was his favorite scent of yours. a grin formed onto his lips biting down on your neck. your eyes popped wide pushing him off you “ satoru stop..who knows ” you pulled on his ear, “ you’re being dramatic he won’t find out ” that cocky grin still was drawn out on his face

“ who wont find out? ” kento pushed the door open from inside your classroom. its like satori’s soul left his body when kento walked out the classroom. he was right there his ass would’ve been dead if he walked out earlier “ gojo was messing around with your extra pair of glasses and broke them! ” you had randomly blurted out. it wasn’t half a lie he had in fact broke kento’s glasses a while ago..

kento glared at the white haired man who’s ear was turning red from you tanking it, “ you blindfolded dumbass. ” kento cursed walking up to satoru, you had let go of his ear gesturing to kento he was all his

(end of flashback in spongebob voice)

“ yeah that was your fault we almost got caught. ” you snickered at him placing your hand on his back rubbing it in circles, “ it wasn’t my fault, well it was. but you completely snitched on me !! ”

“ well it’s called saving my ass from the destruction you caused, ” your voice was so sickeningly sweet it was tooth rotting. “ still wasn’t my fault you got us caught.” he denied again refusing to believe he was the problem

“ nope you almost got us caught. ” you popped the p on nope, “ you were ignoring me and not giving me a kiss i so deserved. ” he moved his face that was stuffed comfortably in the crook of your neck to look at you

“i guess…BUT it was only once see! ” an annoying smile plastered on his face, moving your hand from out of his hair you mentally face palmed “ satoru it happened twice. you’re forgetting the time we were training. ”

(flashback in spongebob voice)

you had already been training with your 2nd years maki was on the verge of beating your ass, that girl was something else. you didn’t feel the need to use your cursed technique against maki, you weren’t the strongest in the combat department but you could definitely hold your own,

sweat was dripping down both of your foreheads a tired exhausted look washed along maki’s face, “ is maki getting tired?~ ” you teased making maki scowl. kicking your leg up to maki’s head which she effortlessly blocked. you ended up doing a 1 2 combo making her lose her balance,

you were so in the zone when you didn’t even notice gojo being your own personal cheerleader until maki pointed it out. your eyes bored into gojos with his white frilly holographic pom poms, he traded the blindfold for the glasses today.

“ go yn ! go yn ! go go ” he cheered causing a small flood of pink to wash over your cheeks, “ i hate this guy. . ” you made your way over to him snatching one of his pom poms, “ you like them? ” he asked shaking the one pom pom he had around like a cheerleader, “ they remind me of you sadly”

“ what do you mean sadly?! ” he huffed like a little boy not getting ice cream, “ it’s supposed to be a good thing ”, he started poking you like crazy. he definitely wanted to get on your nerves today.

you slapped the back of his head, thankfully his infinity was disabled giving you a nice clean hit to his newly shaved undercut, “ i hate you, so annoying ” you groaned planning on walking towards maki who was chatting away with nobara,

“ that’s obviously not what you told me last night,” he said outloud for only you to here “we can always recreate it again..in case you forgot” your eyes widen blush spreading all across your cheeks like a wildfire

“ you. you. YOU. ” lost for absolutely words you grabbed his collar shaking him, “ aw you love me so much you want to kiss me ” he laughed,

“ you love me so much that you want to tell kento—” he acted so cheekily he was about to expose the relationship without the slightest ideas. “ tell me what?” kento held a tight grip onto satoru’s shoulder, it’s as if satoru saw a ghost

“ th- that you have a lovely sister, she’s so lovely and strong” he turned his head slowly looking at kento who’s face was covered in shadow. expression unrecognizable. there was an undeniable silence that filled the air of the three of you. “ gojo..are you hitting on my sister?” you swore the silence between those two last for centuries.

“ uhm no i wasnt! ” (🤓☝️)

“ yes you are. ” his voice deepened sending chills down satoru’s spine. satoru started to wiggle out of kento’s grasp “the elders are calling me and you know me i have to listen to them” he squeaked at kento’s gaze, “ since when did you listen to the elders? ”

“ since TODAY! ” he made an escape, “ don’t run away from me you egotistical bastard ”

(end of flashback in spongebob voice)

“ he could quite literally rip my ass outta infinity and feed me megumi’s dogs! ” he dramatically started shaking you, “ he wouldn’t. ”

“ yes he would, he could kick my ass and would do it again and laugh” he continued shaking you like you were some kind of rag doll, “ you’re being dramatic. ”

“no im being real! he would like have you seen that hunk— ” you cover his mouth with your free hand, “ no he wouldn’t and please stop shaking me satoru ”, you could feel his lips form a pout under your hand,

“ no toru? satoru? did i really downgrade that much? ” moving your hand away from his mouth “ you haven’t given me a kiss at all today so no ” he stuck out his tongue at you, “ you’re so annoying ”

you quickly smashed your lips against his, his lips were so soft and tender against yours. the small breathes of yours tickled satoru’s upper lip.

your hands snaked back up to satoru’s hair pulling him closer to deepen the kiss, satoru taken by shock had a small grin form against his lips, you know he had that stupid cocky smile making you break into a smile,

realizing that you were not in the comfort of your own home or his, you quickly pulled away. pinkish red lip stick smothered all over his lips as if he had a drunken passionate make out session,

a whine had escaped his lips making your smile widen some more. “ there, you had your kiss now shoo ” you tried pushing him off your body with failed, “ that’s not fair, i cant just get one ”

“ now you’re being needy stop it satoru ” you bit your inner cheek trying to hold back a giggle, satoru just rolled his eyes placing small mini angel kisses around your lips, the crinkles of your eyes. the dimples, the moles. he loved your face it was one of his favorite features

satoru had you basically pressed against the wall near your office, small giggles escaped your lips as he kept pressing kisses. they were feathery and ticklish, the two of you had been in your own world you forgot you were at the school for a moment.

“ w..what the hell. ” you hear a deep voice. it was laced with mainly shock and a hint of disgust. the voice made you snap your head in the direction it came from, lord and behold the two of you were caught by none other than kento,

gojo groaned at the person interrupting him letting out a deep sigh slowly turning his head to where yours was, “ jeez man give us some— ” his voice was laced with annoyance before he even saw the person. by the time he looked over his eyes had widened as big as saucer pans,

mouth agaped, he knew he was caught and a part of him wanted to laugh and keep kissing you but his body wouldn’t listen to him, “ well shit. ”

“ gojo what are you doing with my sister ? ” his voice was calm but his face. his face screamed you better run before i catch you. “ well nothing. i was just asking her about something !! ” he defended himself trying to come up with a lie on the spot.

“ mhm and the lipstick smeared on your lips say otherwise ” he walked closer to the two of you, gojo desperately tried to get rid of the evidence. “ your glasses are fogging nanamin there was no lipstick stain! ” a small giggle escaped your lips watching the gojo satoru get rid of all evidence,

satoru’s whole demeanor shifted into a soft gooey attitude hearing a giggle escape your lips from his antics, kento wasn’t stupid. he noticed it a small smile formed on his lips knowing he has made you giggle laugh and smile, he had almost forgotten it was gojo satoru until that stupid blindfolded man held your hand,

clearing his throat, “ gojo. are you dating my younger sister? ” his face just turned cold. an irritation just washed over kento’s body, “ she’s your sister?? whatt that’s crazy i didn’t know you had a younger sister nanamin! ” he tried to play it off practically jumping away from you.

kento stared at him with an annoyed expression, gojo was a blabbering mess trying to explain himself, “ you’re basically female nanamin! that’s so crazy! ” he tried to laugh at the information he already knew,

“ i knew you were stupid but seriously the stupid act makes you look like a dumbass. ” kento’s scowl sent shivers down his spine, he started walking closer to satoru closing the distance

“ wait wait IM SORRY PLEASE IM SORRY. ” satoru pleaded hiding behind you, even though he knew his tall lanky ass wasn’t hiding himself.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

[lovebombs4life]

corruption - l.r.h

requested: nope. thinking of this as i’m listening to music :)

cw: SMUT. oral (f), fingering, rough sex, choking, unprotected, mentions of alcohol, dom!luke, i’m a slut for luke hemmings

———

“oh come on y/n, you’re telling me that you’ve never had anything interesting happen during sex?” crystal asked. i nodded my head. we were all sitting around in luke’s living room, some of us already drunk, some of us just buzzed. i was one of the only people in the group that was single, besides luke.

“i didn’t know there were interesting things when it came to sex until like two days ago, crystal. and we all know i constantly get ghosted whenever i try and get a date.” i rambled. i looked over at luke who was across the living room. he was slightly smirking as he listened to me.

“y/n, you’re 26. genuine question that’s gonna be real tmi. has a guy ever made you cum?” brandy asked. calum’s eyes widened at her question, but he wanted to know the answer too. everyone looked to me, waiting for my response.

“well i mean.. not exactly? when ever they’d get done they’d usually leave and i’d get myself off i guess.” i said, looking down. i picked at my nails, feeling slightly embarrassed. talking about this in front of my friends was a little embarrassing, but especially because luke kept watching me.

it’d be a lie if i said that i wasn’t attracted to luke. and it would also be a lie if i said i didn’t have a massive crush on him for the past few years. or maybe since we met. at sixteen.

“oh my god. are you serious?” michael questioned. i nodded my head, not wanting to look up at anyone. i bounced my leg, trying to calm myself down.

“okay y/n, let’s get you a drink. calm down those nerves, yeah?” crystal said, standing and grabbing my hand to get a drink. she pulled me to the kitchen, making sure we were alone.

“i’m not supposed to say anything, but i swear on my life, luke has been eyeing you this whole time. michael told me the other day that luke has been crushing on you for the longest time.” she spoke. my eyes almost fell out of my head from how wide they were.

“you’re serious?” i asked. she nodded her head. “dead serious.”

i glanced around the corner seeing that luke was still watching for me. my stomach did flips seeing him. i grabbed a drink from the fridge, popping it open and taking a large sip.

once crystal and i were back in the living room, luke’s eyes went back to being glued to me. “i’ll be right back guys, im gonna get changed.” i spoke up. everyone gave an ‘okay’ as i walked up the stairs. i went to luke’s room where i had left my overnight bag.

i closed the door before slipping out of my jeans and t-shirt. i unclasped my bra, letting it fall to the ground. i threw on my large shirt i used for pj’s, and slid on a pair of shorts. i headed back down the stairs, sitting back down on the couch. crystal handed me a drink, and i thanked her as i grabbed it.

we all sat there and talked for another few hours before everyone decided it was time to head home. i headed upstairs, grabbing my bag from luke’s room, and headed to his guest room.

“i’m gonna head to bed, goodnight luke!” i called from the door before closing it. i was too caught up in getting comfortable that i didn’t realize he hadn’t answered me.

i slid my shorts off, leaving me in my black panties and large t-shirt. i got on the bed, laying on my stomach. i scrolled through my phone, before stopping on a fan account of luke. i scrolled through the photos, squeezing my legs together.

“alright there?” luke’s voice scared me. i scrambled to sit up, covering my lower half with my t shirt. i clutched onto my phone, turning it off.

“oh don’t get all shy now, y/n. you’ve been showing yourself off, talking about nothing but your sex life all night. now i come in here seeing that you’re practically drooling over pictures of me.” he spoke, getting closer to me.

i swallowed hard, pushing my phone away from me. “i don’t know what you’re talking about, luke.” i played dumb. he laughed, shaking his head at me.

“don’t act like you’re all innocent there. if i hadn’t spoken up you would’ve started touching yourself. such a dirty slut.” he teased, crawling onto the bed, towering over me.

my breath hitched, and my thighs were dripping with my arousal. “i still don’t know what you mean.” i pushed. i don’t know where this confidence was coming from, but i could tell he was trying hard not to pin me down from my lies.

“you wanna be a brat? act like you don’t want me to fuck you? thats just fine darling. you can get yourself off alone, never getting what you wanted.” he spoke lowly. he was inches away from my face. i took a deep breathe, awaiting what he was going to do next.

he lowered his head to my neck, biting and licking at my skin. i let out a soft moan, making him smirk as he left marks on me. “i don’t want to hear another noise out of your mouth unless you’re gonna be a good girl.”

“i’ll be good, want to be good for you.” i whined. he smirked, lifting my shirt over my head. the smallest things he did made me wetter by the minute. i’d never felt this way with any other partner i’ve had.

he trailed his hands up and down my body, squeezing my thighs. he found his way to my clothed heat, running his fingers softly up and down. “so wet for me, yet i’ve hardly touched you. tell me what you want, sweetheart.” i gasped at his touch, moving my hips forward.

“anything, do anything to me, please, just touch me luke.” i begged. he chuckled at my need, slipping my panties down my legs and throwing them to the side. he kissed down my thighs, licking a stripe up my pussy.

i let out a groan, wanting more. my hands made their way to his curls, pulling slightly. he moaned at the feeling while his tongue attacked my clit. “fuck, luke, feels so good, never felt this good.” i breathed, my legs already shaking.

without warning, he slid a finger in, pumping in and out of me as he licked at me. i let out a loud moan, clenching around his finger. he slid another in, curling his fingers up.

“oh shit, luke! gotta cumbaby, please, luke, make me cum!” i begged, my thighs shaking harder. “cum for me good girl, wanna taste you.” he praised.

he continued curling his fingers, lapping away at my pussy. i pulled his hair, letting myself cum on his fingers. i squeezed my thighs, slightly trapping him as he kept going.

i arched my back, feeling overwhelmed with pleasure. “f-fuck! oh god, gonna cum again!” i cried. he moaned into my heat, sending me over the edge.

he pulled away once i calmed down, sucking my juices off his fingers. he brought his lips to mine, allowing me to taste myself on his tongue.

“did so good baby, now you can say you’ve cum having sex.” he teased. i blushed at his words. “i want more of you, lu, please.” i asked.

he threw his head back at the sight of me being spread out for him. he threw his shirt off and quickly slid his pants off. i watched as he grabbed hold of his cock, pumping it a few times.

“get on your hands and your knees, pretty girl.” he directed. i did as told, lifting my ass in the air. he slid his tip in, causing me to moan at the brief feeling. he pulled back before shoving his cock fully inside. i let out a yell as he steadied himself.

i buried my face into the pillows, screaming as he pounded into me. he grabbed my hair, pulling my face up. “don’t hide those pretty moans baby. want everyone to know who’s making you feel this fuckin good.” he said as he lifted me so his chest was pressed to my back.

my head fell back onto his shoulder, gasping as he hit my g spot. his hand traveled to my throat, squeezing tightly. my eyes rolled back as i let out strangled moans.

“luke! ugh, fuck! love your cock, never want anything else!” i cried, tears falling down my cheeks. he grunted as i kissed his neck.

“i’ve wanted you, fuck, for so long, y/n, never letting you go, you’re mine.” he growled, holding onto me as he fucked into me.

i clenched myself around him, moaning at how deep he was. he moaned at the feeling, smacking my ass from the side. “gonna make me cum if you keep doing that.” he groaned.

he pressed his hand against my stomach, feeling his cock deep inside me. “feel that baby? feel my cock bulging into your stomach?” he asked, keeping his rough pace. i nodded my head, gasping for air as he fucked me.

i clenched around him again, this time not being able to stop it. “lu, gonna cum again, wanna cum on your cock.” i yelped, feeling his cock twitch at my words.

“fuck baby, go on, cum for me.” he said, holding my hips as he continued to pound into me. a scream ripped from my throat as i came, my body convulsing as he held me close.

“gonna cum baby, where you want me to-” i cut him off before he could continue. “in me, need you in me, wanna feel your cum deep in my pussy. on birth control already.” i gasped.

“fuck, such a cum slut.” he said, releasing into my pussy. i felt the hot liquid fill me up, making me moan. luke pulled out of me, leading me down to the bed.

“just one second darling.” he spoke before leaving the room. he returned with a warm wash cloth, cleaning me up. my body was still shaking, and i could feel my heart pounding.

he returned to the bed, laying with me, pulling me close. “enjoy yourself, love?” he questioned. i nodded, whimpering.

“didn’t hurt you did i?” he asked, worried. i shook my head, looking up at him. “you’ve really wanted me for a while?” i asked, hoping he meant it. he nodded, squeezing me.

“i’ve loved you since we met. wanted you for the longest time. and now im never letting you go.”

i sighed with contentment, falling asleep in his grip.

[nhularin]

Some Enhypen headcanons because I'm bored

warnings: crack, nonsensical stuff😭😭 dont take this seriously please, me being delulu, dts in heeseungs, its 4 am my mind isnt minding, not proofread

HEESEUNG

Man

I feel like since he has his own room and yk, is a certified gamer™

He rage quits a lot and throws shit around

" User Goku_outdoer_forever stop playing around and get ur shit together or ill kill u!!!!" he's 13 please calm down Mr. Lee

his poor members will be startled awake by his outbursts

talking abt gamer boy hee

his room REEKS of sweat, energy drinks and pent up rage

its okay boo i still love u xx

Jay

facebook mom

"niki why are u making that face, SMILE"

takes 10k food pics from 9229 different angles

its ok tho the house smells amazing bc of him

fashion influencaaaa

Nope its not sunghoon sorry guys

forces jungwon or jake to rate his outfits of the week (in exchange for food of course)

Gets pissed when they rate it a score lower than 9 ( how dare u insult my ability to put clothes together)

Jake

How do i say this in the nicest way

This man gives me massive Kevin Nguyen vibes

Especially with his black hair and glasses

the way je flirts with engenes is criminal

dude i thought we had something serious why are u cheating on me

the type to drive up to ur house in a red maserati and baseball cap

ykw the whole oitfit of jake in subway surfers 😭

its okay babe ill ignore ur red flags

SUNGHOON

he sleeps with his eyes WIDE open

so damn still too😭 is he dead or just having a peaceful slumber??? No one knows

he reminds me of a lululemon girl (no i will not explain myself)

no thoughts behind those eyes

MC Sunghoon will forever be in my heart

tried to google funny gen z jokes but ended up on the wrong side of reddit

Now he's stuck with bad dad jokes :/ he thinks theyre funny too (they are babe ill always find them funny"

Wonyo and him gossip about the whole industry

might even be worse than sunoo...

i can see him being a (fanfic) writer

runs a red velvet (irene) account

SUNOO

Im scared

Dude is probably friend's with like half of the kpop industry

probably has a burn book (kidding!)

owns a fan account and causes fanwars

"Enha flops!" Watch as chaos unfolds

since its confirmed that idols have finstas

he owns a tea account abt hybe especially abt enhypen

" sunghoon smells like shit and doesnt wipe after pissing - s.jy" we all know its u sunoo

JUNGWON

biggest blackmailer

probably has shit on everyone and their mother

"Whattttt no he's innocent and would never do that" oh he would.

remember how he danced / popped in his sleep during i-land? now its worse

LMAOOOO imagine him bolting up fromhis bed like hes being electrocuted

poor sunoo sees his life flashing by

Okay i know this might sound crazy and so not jungwon but hear me out

He owns a tiktok stan account for jungkook

and makes those "would ____ survive a jungkook killer smile???" Videos and proceeds to add John Cena and JYP

Sunoo and him are the unbeatable duo when it comes to defending their faves

but when it comes to their own group.... crickets!!!!

NIKI

Gym RAT

not the good kind either he looks like he smells

kidding

or am i

probably spends hours in the bathroom trying to work on his thirst trap face

"riki stop hogging the bathroom" " im shitting!"

learns gg dances in his free time

yall definitely saw his pre debut videos man was EATING IT UPPPPP

imagine him dancing to poppy with his overgrown fetus body

#1 isa fan and swith im sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

[mikasimaginairyworld]

The Crows as incorrect quotes

---

Kaz at the beginning of SoC: 'some of you may die but that's a risk I'm willing to take.'

---

Inej:'You seem familiar. Have I threatened you before?'

---

Wylan: 'I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.'

Jesper:' It's not a joke'

Jesper: sniffles

Jesper:'I'm a legit snack.'

---

Kaz:'Okay, I get it. You've had a hard time recently. You're stressed, depressed, seven people have died-'

Wylan:'Twelve, Kaz.'

Kaz: 'Not the point. They're dead now and whose fault is that?'

Wylan: 'Yours!'

Kaz: 'That's right: no one's.'

---

Nina: 'Is something burning?'

Matthias: 'Only my love for you.'

Nina: 'Matthias, the toaster is on fire.'

---

Jesper: '.. .----. --/ ... --- .-. .-. -.--' (I'm sorry)

Kaz: 'Jesper, what is that?'

Wylan: 'Morse code for I'm sorry.'

Jesper: 'Actually is remorse code.'

Kaz: 'I'm actually even more angry.'

---

Kaz: 'I'm not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!'

Inej: 'Oh really? Name one law.'

Kaz: 'Don't kill people?'

Inej: 'This one's on me, I set the bar too low.'

---

Nina: 'Must be hard not being able to laugh.'

Kaz: 'I do have a sense of humour, you know.'

Nina: 'I've never heard you laugh before.'

Kaz:'You've never said anything funny.'

---

Jesper: 'Just be yourself.'

Kaz: 'Be myself? Jesper, I have one day to win Inej over. How long did it take before you guys started to like me?'

Wylan: 'A couple of weeks.'

Nina: 'Six months.'

Matthias: 'The jury's still out.'

Kaz: 'See, Jesper?'

Kaz: 'Be myself. What kind of garbage advice is that?'

---

Kaz: 'Time for plan G'

Inej: 'Don't you mean plan B?'

Kaz: 'No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.'

Nina: 'What about plan D?'

Kaz: 'Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.'

Wylan: 'What about plan E?'

Kaz: 'Im hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.'

Matthias: 'I like plan E.'

---

Matthias: 'Would you guys be there if I was going through something?'

Wylan:'Nope, absolutely not.'

Inej:'I hope it sucks whatever you're going through.'

Jesper: 'I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.'

Nina:' I hop you reach out to me so I can ignore you.'

Kaz: 'I can't wait to go to your funeral knowing I could've changed the outcome.'

---

Wylan, walking into his house: 'Hello people who do not live here.'

Kaz:'Hey.'

Inej:'Hi.'

Jesper:'Hello'

Matthias: 'Hey!'

Wylan:'I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!'

Nina: 'We were out of Doritos.'

---

Nina: 'Croissants: dropped.'

Matthias: 'Road: world ahead.'

Jesper: 'BBQ sauce: on my titties.'

Inej: 'Shavacado: fre.'

Wylan: 'Miss Keisha: fuckin dead.'

Kaz: 'I don't understand word of that and I hate every single one of you.'

---

Jesper: 'I love you guys. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me!'

Inej: 'We're the best things that's ever happened to you?'

Jesper: 'Yes!'

Kaz: 'I feel sorry for you.'

---

Kaz: 'Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life '

Inej: 'Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?'

Kaz: 'Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.'

Jesper: 'edible'

---

Wylan: 'I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it'

Kaz: 'Just rip the bandage off.'

Wylan: 'It’s Jesper.'

Kaz: 'Put the bandage back on.'

---

Jesper: 'So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Wylan does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?'

Nina: 'If Wylan were to jump off a cliff, he would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Wylan jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.'

Jesper: 'You jump off a cliff!'

Nina: 'Gladly. Provided Wylan did first.'

---

Kaz: 'Inej and I don’t use pet names.' 

Nina: 'I see. Hey, what do bees make?'

Kaz: 'Honey?'

Inej:' Yes, dear?' 

Kaz: 

Nina:' Don't ever lie to my face again.'

[idiocracyisreal]

HELP- I just asked my sister to name/ guess the name of jd characters 😭😭😭😭 (SHES 13 AND HYPED ON LOLLIES) AND THIS IS HOW IT WENT DOWN. Jackson was the best reaction ever so I saved him for last 🩷🩷🩷

EXER Her: “…he looks like an egg”

me: *dies

her: “his name is egg”

me: *while dead* “half point…”

DAVID

her: “ooooh he looks like walker scobell!”

me: “is that his name or-“

her: “-yes”

me: “MOVING ON-“

RONALD

her: “he looks like he goes around playing rock music and being scary but he actually listens to Disney music like princess songs, and gets his nails painted”

me: attempting to stay calm and failing* “so what’s his name?”

her: “…flounder.”

me: 💀💀💀

BRENDA

her: “she’s prettyyyy”

me: “and her name is…”

her: “Erica.”

me: “why Erica?”

her: “I don’t know she gives an Erica vibe”

me: …

PAMELA

her: “she’s emo but actually pulls it off damn”

me: …

her: “she’s… ✨PETUNIA✨”

me: *im having way too much fun rn*

JOLIE

her: (with no hesitation) “Gerald.”

me: “… can we give her a girl name?”

her: “nope :)”

KEN

her: (full minute of silence and then out of nowhere…)

“Barbie”

me: *actually I cannot with Ken being called barbie*

TIMOTHY

her: “her name is lady sparklepants”

me: “…can it be Mr sparklepants?”

her: “THATS A BOY!?”

and now… the moment you’ve all been waiting for:

JACKSON

her: “Trick question- that’s just fanart of Ryder from paw patrol”

me: *fucking dies*

[violetwitch12087]

When kyle has a bad day after you were out getting groceries you make sure to give him lots of head pats since thats basically his favorite thing

Head Rubs (kyle spencer after death)

I walk into the coven excited to see kyle now kyles dead no like actually he died and got resurrected after madison flipped his bus and i was in love with him so madison and zoe helped me bring him back

I finished some errands and stuff and I'm just bringing the groceries in "kyle my love?" I yell but no response i set the bags down on the counter starting to put the items away "kyle?" I yell again and theres no answer weird he usually runs up to me and like literally crushes me with trying to hug me and play with my hair and trying to give me a kiss but thats just what i love about him

I put the items away and walk out of the kitchen to the hall and up the stairs down another hall where the rooms are "baby?" I ask into the air before i turn to my room grabbing the handle and opening the door the lights dim only the lamps on "kyle?" I say again when i hear the sniffles i open the door more and see kyle on mine and his bed his head buried in his hands as sobs break through i close the door before starting to walk over to kyle

I stand infront of him before i put my hands on his shoulders making him jump a bit i knew that he knew i was here but i guess he didnt know how close i was my hands glide up to his neck kind of his face as i grab his face in my hands and make him look up at me my thumbs wiping his tears as sobs leave his pretty plump lips from crying

A look of sympathy fills my face "oh baby whats wrong" i ask and he sobs louder before hugging my waist burying his face into my stomach kinda my chest "oh its okay" i coo softly as i let him sob and cry into me my hand reaches up to glide my fingertips through his soft rich hair pushing some hair back as it was out of place and behind his ear just trying to calm him down and let himself get his feelings out

My fingers run through his hair rubbing his scalp softly as i hear him starting to breathe normally and no cries leave his mouth "whats wrong my love" i whisper softly almost inaudible and he sniffles still holding me close as i hold his head softly more into me my fingers still running through his hair as well "i just got really stressed a-and i realized you were at the store and i just stayed in here cause i was scared i was gonna snap and h-hurt someone" he says a soft sob leaving his mouth again making me hold him tighter "its okay, its okay" i coo as he calms down again way quicker like 30 seconds max

I lift up his head in my hands to look up at me "im here its okay? Right?" I ask softly and he nods looking deeply lovingly and comfortingly into my eyes making me smile a bit i lean down and kiss his nose softly before kissing his head a couple times softly i look back at him and wipe left over tears on his face and he smiles a bit "theres that handsome smile" i say teasingly making him smile more as i laugh a bit teasing him like crazy

"You gonna be okay" i ask as he holds my waist his chin rested against my stomach or chest as he looks up at me and he nods softly "yeah?" I ask admiring him as he admires me and my hands still go through his hair making him close his eyes almost falling asleep in my comfort "ah nope, lets get some food before you end up falling asleep its too early to fall asleep and too late to take a nap" i say softly and he opens his sleepy eyes before nodding "you want to stay in here for a moment or go and get some food" i ask softly again

"Lets sit there for a minute can we?" He asks and i smile nodding as he buried his face more into me closing his eyes for a moment as we sit there in each other presence "kyle?" I whisper "mhm" he says sleepily "come one lets get food its almost a hour and a half till ill let you go to bed" i say and he whines making me smile grabbing his hand and starting to separate each other which he whines and groans protesting against it but we ended up making it downstairs

I make some food for the both of us and we sit at the table eating together i squeeze his hand occasionally him squeezing back sometimes putting his other hand on top of mine so my hand is between his hands tightly i put out plates into the sink and turn to kyle "you ready to go to bed?" I ask and he nods "okay come on you're lucky you dont have to take a bath today" i say smiling as we walk up the stairs and to my room

We change into different clothes and i get into the bed kyle going on the other side getting in next to me he wraps his arms around me and lays his head on my chest my hands play with his hair softly as i feel him relax deeply a couple snores every once in a while i close my eyes kyles weight like a comfy weighted blanket

Oh how much i love him...

******************

Hey so im new to this kinda i mean ive never posted on tumblr a story ive been all on it tho so i know kinda how it works and i also make stories on wattpad @violetwitch12087 i believe and yeah anyways please request all these stories are on wattpad as well please dont save these and put them somewhere else and take credit but yeah i love you please request i can also do taissa and zoe and whatever i have a whole bunch

[bellsxwriting]

Kind of a crack request, but also kind of of fluffy You know the 3.5 scene where Kaeya is in Sumeru? What would happen if the traveller was Kaeya's lover? Partly the letters were tailored because he misses them greatly (despite him being on their team). Lots of kisses and soft talk when they reunite.

Meanwhile Dain just hurled in the bush from the sappiness, this is so much worse then collusion.

Kaeya x Reader .- Reunited at last...

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆

A/N - Ahhh thank you so much for the request! I hope this is ok, it's not too long but I had some fun writing it and I can always do another part! - Also this is from the perspective of the traveller that isn't lumine/aether!

You held the letter in your hand as you approached the spot in which Kaeya had requested you- It was 5 pm now, and the tavern was alive with customers; many sitting around, drinking, laughing and enjoying each other's company. You surveyed the area, your eyes landing on a table in the corner, seating one distinct customer, “I'll have something I haven't tried yet, boss…” You heard your lover say as you approached the table,

“Um…sorry sir, I'm afraid you've already tried every type of liquor we sell” 

“Oh? Well then just the bill please” 

“Drinking on the job…? How unprofessional” You stood at the end of the table, smiling lightly at the man in front of you,

“Traveler, my love. Im so glad you could make it” Kaeya stood, a warm smile on his face as he moved to stand next to you, wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you closer,

“Kaeya, you're really here!” You heard your companion Paimon gasp from next to you, “Paimon half thought you were playing some form of prank on us” 

“Come now” He chuckled, “I would never kest about seeing my dear partner now. I was simply in the area and hoped you'd spare the time to see me” He kissed you lightly on the cheek and your smile only grew, “Come now, sit, I'm sure we have much to talk about. How about I get you a drink Y/N” You took the spot next to Kaeya, Paimon infront, you laced your hands together and rested them on the top of the table, waiting for the server to come back so you could order, 

“What brings you all the way to Sumeru my love, surely not just to see me” You glance his way, a smirk lifting on your face, 

“Oh, I wish that was the case,” He lifted your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss there, “No, I'm actually here to learn more about the alcohol industry here” The conversation continued, you talked about his reason for arriving, your victories in sumeru and your plans to visit Fontaine now the crisis is quelled. The night grew darker and you rested your head on Kaeyas shoulder, as he softly spoke about Mondstadt to you and your companion, occasionally looking over to place a chase kiss on top of your head. By now, one of his arms was wrapped around your shoulder as he drew you closer to his chest. 

“What are your plans for tonight, love, are you staying in the hotel or are you setting off back to Mondstadt?” You looked up at him as you spoke, he chuckled.

“No, I still have a few more places I would like to look into before I depart, perhaps you could keep me company tonight Y/N?” He smirked down at you before leaning down, 

“Nope, Na nah, Paimon cannot deal with you two being lovey dovey!” She pointed at you dramatically as you both grinned. Meanwhile, behind the wall concealing your table. A familiar figure stood, eavesdropping on the whole interaction, 

“So, that's what has become of the descendent of the Alberich clan…” He shook his head, observing further, “The traveller and an Alberich eh…I really cannot deal with…couples…” He held his breath. Deading to have to go over and sit in front of you two, but he knows he must. He was here for answers after all…

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

A/N.- I hope you enjoyed! My requests are still open if anyone wants anything written!

[yami-yomiel]

Redrew that one Joel image from .. a long time ago.

Including a whole extensive story i did while working on this mid wip. Warning- it’s long as BALLS and i don’t recommend reading it on a phone /hj

I mean he’s distracted - by theory you can just grab what you need and dip.

He HAS been missing some socks

Mostly pairs

But thats just a ‘rumor’ so to sayyy. I mean , SURE he’s dealing with demons everyday so im sure a few missing socks wouldnt be a huge deal- Not if he sees you at least. he’s probably getting off the phone , he can’t leave all that stuff laying around ya know 😏

Although him catching you is .. a little unlikey imagine if he did. Joel to me is the type to scream like a girl sorry - and that would probably give you enough time to run back under his dresser [twirls hair]

BUTTTTTT there’s also the chance of him just grabbing you. And he might be a little .. rough with it~ not trying to kill you but you get a little winded. Perhaps the fear and shock in your eyes is mutual - but you don’t know that because you’re trying to comprehend the fact you’ve been caught. Imagine his surprise when he finds out you’re a human - or a least a sentient creature thats not a mouse or a rat. You think he’d feel guilty for scaring you half to death. I don’t think Joel would be mad about the whole ‘I’ve been living in your walls for a while ‘ thing - he would be weirded out though YES. But maybe he warms up to it. Like think about it like a sort of symbiotic (is that the term?) relationship - you help me and i help you sorta deal. I’d beleive he sorta.. forgets to put you down and sorta fidgets with you. The fact you’re so small and YET alive and lived for this long is fascinating to him. Sure he has an interest in the dead -i mean he has an ouija board and all - but the living also interests him.

Semi related but i feel like he’d be a biology nerd - and knowing that small things are more fragile he’d probably take that into account when handling you - assuming Joel would anyways. Maybe he gently pressed a finger into your ribs feeling your heartbeat, and that sets a glimmer in his eyes. Your own heart is almost the same size as his finger nail - holy cow. But it frightens him. Shoot, one wrong move and you’d be a little splatter on the ground. And right now he doesn’t want anyone else around him suffering anymore;

To call back to another headcanon i made - I said he likes to imagine himself as a borrower - or at least a small tiny guy. So seeing you would be like a childhood dream come true. He chews his lip trying not to ask incredibly personal and difficult questions. ‘have you ever been caught before?’ ‘Have you fallen from a high place before’ ‘How did you learn about borrowing, did someone teach you or was it sort of like an instinct’ Those sorts of questions. I don’t think they’d be easy ones to answer given your skill level (if you can measure it anyways). If Joel thought about it for two seconds he’d probably ask about what you took from him. Not in a rude way but more so what you did with them , what did you use those socks for? You know while this is all going on he’s poking and prodding at you - probably not in an invasive way (you can always tell him to stop) but right now you’re in awe. You’ve heard so many stories about humans being big and scary and wanting to harm your species but .. for someone whose just been caught by one - you seem to be alright. Even if you’re going though a very extensive look over or whatever.

Joel is probably internally freaking out at this whole thing. I mean he’d always wanted to BE a small person, but seeing one right in front of you is a different story. His look of wonder turns into a silly grin as he scooped you up, . You know noted how oddly soft his hands were, given all the equipment you saw him use you’d think they’d be a little textured, but nope, they were quite plushy. Ahem anyways. He scoops you up and plops you right onto his desk. It seemed to be neat, a laptop and some recording supplies , quite minimal. Joel at down right infront of you, given his look it still seems like he’s in awe over the whole thing, you can tell he’s holding back from bouncing or pacing around but he’s gotta keep his composure. You’d try doing the same but, him leaning forward and getting a full few of his face made you squeak. “Sorry , I’m just.. I’ve never seen someone like you before - ya know?’ He said. His voice was deep, so deep in fact it vibrated in your bones and brain.

Hot Dog.

You nodded but really you’re trying to shake off the warmth that spread from your face and down your back, causing goosebumps.

[It’s now 11:09 i need to go to BED]

[sameheart-sameblood]

Number One Fan

pairing: eddie munson x reader

summary: you get to hear eddie's band play a show for the first time

words: 1.3k

warnings: fluff, this being written in an hour and not really proofread (eeek! sorry)

a/n: god im so soft for this man i just had to write something. i've always wanted an 80s rocker boyfriend so this is purely self-indulgent haha. also we're pretending that nothing bad ever happens to this baby angel and that he gets to become a pro musician/go to college/be happy cause that's what he deserves.

read on ao3!

Eddie hadn’t been joking when he said this place was a shit hole. While you preferred dive bars over pretentious, overpriced ones, The Hideout was the diviest you’d ever seen. 

The barstool you were currently occupying squeaked in protest as you swiveled on it impatiently. It was a tiny place, half filled on this dreary Tuesday night. Those there though were making their presence known, a large percentage already spectacularly drunk. 

Most of them were harmless but there was a group in the corner playing pool that seemed to be on the verge of a fight. They were providing some entertainment for you as you sipped your drink but they weren’t the show you were there to see. 

“You sure you aren’t lost, doll?” the bartender asked, some concern in his eyes. 

Shaking your head, you pointed to the Corroded Coffin poster tacked to the bar post. “Nope! I’m right where I want to be.”

The bartender laughed and gestured behind you. “Well, there they are. Enjoy the show.”

Whipping around, you were just in time to see Eddie and his band walking on stage. Gareth took his place on drums as Jeff picked up his guitar and Bobby grabbed his bass. Eddie, electric guitar swung over his shoulder, took his place in front. 

He surveyed the meager crowd that consisted of you and a handful of drunken, middle-aged men. Your boyfriend surveyed the room with a cocky smirk, acting as if the room were filled with screaming fans. His eyes softened for a moment as they landed on you, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. 

You couldn’t help yourself. The band had only ever let you see them practice in Gareth’s garage and the prospect of seeing a real show of their’s made you giddy. “Woohoo, I love you Corroded Coffin!” Your shouts made Eddie smirk again and he winked at you. 

The regulars were used to seeing this ragtag group play every Tuesday but Eddie still greeted them like it was the first time. “Good evening, Hawkins! What a beautiful crowd we have here tonight.” 

Another wink shot your way left you a giggling mess. “We’ve got quite the show for you tonight. So let’s see some asses out of the seats and head banging along. I know we’re called Corroded Coffin but I don’t want to see any corpses here tonight!” 

There was your cue to bound up to the edge of the stage. You watched as Eddie plugged in his guitar and noticed the slight tremble in his hands. For all his bravado, he still got stage fright. That only endeared him to you more. 

He looked at you shyly as you grinned encouragingly at him. “You’ve got this, Eddie. Knock ‘em dead.” You knew he was feeling self-conscious, taking on a new role tonight as not only lead guitarist, but lead vocals as well. After their singer had left for college, Eddie had been the one to step up and take the position. You were the only one usually allowed to hear him sing in earnest and even then his ears would turn bright red when he’d serenade you. 

Eddie laughed, covertly blowing you a kiss as he stood up. He surveyed the bar once more, letting his rocker persona take over again. You braced yourself as Gareth began the chugging first notes of Motley Crue’s Louder Than Hell. Any trepidation from the band members soon melted away, all of them lost in the music. 

The show went off without a hitch, Eddie’s vocal strong after a tentative first few bars of the song. They had transitioned from Motely Crue, to some Dio songs, and Eddie’s favorite, Iron Maiden. He’d surprised you by dedicating KISS’ I Was Made For Loving You to you. 

“This song is dedicated to the best girl I know. It’s all for you, sweetheart.” He’d nodded at you, leaving you shocked and grinning like an idiot. Eddie wasn’t always one for public displays of affection but you understood. He was most comfortable letting his music do the talking for him. Not even the wolf whistles and hollers from the other patrons at your expense could knock the lovesick smile off your face. 

As the show ended, the bar broke out into scattered applause. It was still a small crowd but at least most of them had stopped what they were doing to pay attention to the music. Even the rough housers playing pool cheered as Eddie thanked them. 

“You’ve all been lovely. We hope you enjoyed our music but if not, keep it to yourselves. We are Corroded Coffin and we’ll see you right back here, next Tuesday. Good night, Hawkins.”

You clapped louder than anyone, jumping up and down, probably looking a fool. But Eddie smiled down at you, kissing his guitar pick and tossing it to you. Catching it, you held it to your lips, silently thanking him. 

As the band cleaned up, you grabbed a round of drinks for them and waited in the biggest booth the bar had to offer. It took them a little longer to get to you, some of the patrons stopping them to congratulate them on the show. 

Eddie always played off any praise he received but you could tell he appreciated it. He caught eyes with you across the bar and you could see his shimmering with pure happiness. It took your breath away and you prayed to whatever higher power that he always remained that happy and carefree. 

Jeff joined you first, gratefully accepting the cold beer. Gareth and Bobby came over as Eddie chatted with the bartender, collecting the band’s proceeds of the nights drink sales. Your boyfriend squeezed in next to you, draping an arm over your shoulder. He showed you all the wad of cash. “Here are our earnings for the night. Fifty bucks. That should cover a few rounds of drinks at least.”

You shook your head. “Uh uh. Drinks are on me tonight, boys. It’s not every day I get to hang out with the Corroded Coffin.” The others cheered as they downed their drinks and went to get more. Eddie wanted to fight you on that, mouth opening to protest. You silenced him with a finger to his lips. 

“Eddie Munson, don’t you dare. Tonight is your night and you will be treated like the rock stars you are.”

He closed his mouth, choosing to let you take care of him. Eddie pulled you in for a kiss, letting all of his tension from the show out in a passionate embrace. You came up for air, head spinning and a loopy smile playing at your lips. 

“Did you enjoy the show, sweetheart?” He played with your hair as you nodded. 

“I especially liked the song you dedicated to me. Who knew you were such a softie.”

Eddie, certified rock god, averted his eyes, trying to suppress his shy grin. “I thought you might like it. I’m not so good with words but I wanted to remind you of how I feel about you.”

You took his face in your hands, bringing his gaze back to yours. “You’re very good at words, Eddie. You just never give yourself enough credit. And for the record, I love you, too,”

Eddie pulled you in for another kiss, but it was soft and chaste. You ran your fingers through his hair, hearing him exhale contentedly. He buried his face in your neck as you continued to massage his scalp. 

“You really liked the show? Do you think we have a future at this?” he asked softly. 

You smiled down at him, so full of love you felt fit to burst. “It was the best thing I’ve ever seen. Remember, baby. This is your year.”

******

[azumasoroshi]

Izaya & Shizuo Drama CD??????

so guess what i learned about today! it's truly incredible how much lesser-known content there is about shizaya once you start digging

ive known about dear girls stories for ages but i didnt realize there were actual drama cds for izaya and shizuo too 😭i thought this was just people pretending that daisuke ono and hiroshi kamiya were talking as shizaya (<-CLOWN behavior)

but nope 4 seconds in we got a Shizu-chan name drop so lmAOOO time to listen i guess

there's two of these translated by the DGS subs channel (tracks 9-15) so idk if there's more before or after these or if those tracks have different characters, which i probably wont watch unless shizuo and celty have one or something lmao

according to google translate, "kenka" = "fight" which is funny

can we talk about that official art btw because how did izaya get close enough to shizuo to steal his glasses without getting caught?? dawg???? i guess he came up from behind him or something but fuckin imagine izaya just hanging down from above and doing the spiderman thing...except he steals shizu-chan's glasses instead of kissing him. i should draw that actually

this is hilarious actually i cant stop grinning bskjgHDSH why are they talking civilly about the date. what are they doing

it took them 51 seconds to actually reference hating each other which might be a record! good job gays

wait we're skipping ahead?? to august 30th??? we're just not gonna explain why/how they were in a bathhouse together???? okay?????

bro chased izaya up a mountain??? there are songs written about that kind of stufff bro 😭 like "id climb the tallest mountains and cross the widest rivers for you". something along those lines. shizuoooo you're so dedicateddddd <33333

why does he sound surprised bsdkgshk 1. YOU called him and 2. YOU led him up the mountain. little shit

i had to delete a whole segment because my brain is dead and i thought the dates were going backwards and i was like huh. interesting amount of nonlinear storytelling going on here

yes because august and september come before july soro good job

adventurer day, cleaning day, mid-year day? is this whole drama cd just them unintentionally celebrating obscure holidays together what the fuck

shizuo was just talking about ironing where did you come from??? izaya????? and shizuo didnt even react bdsjkgsh i literally cant wrap my brain around this like how are they just casually talking

WHAT DOES "THAT KIND OF WORK" MEAN HUH

izaya stripper au real (im sorry. my head is permanently in the gutter i think)

izaya i think you're losing it a bit because how the fuck do you watch someone IRONING HIS CLOTHES and still think it's entertaining?? does literally anything shizuo does entertain you what the hell

bro is down horrendous

oh so THIS is the bath one, i thought that was the first scenario (half-year day) because of the cicadas?? for some reason. i mistook cicada noises for cricket noises im a clown

NERDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

damn izaya read his mind. #justcouplethings

shizuo joining in on the wordplay too GOD they're so annoying

and cue giant crashing wave sound effect

the tweet above mentions that this basically confirms that shizuo entered the bath with izaya and i havent been able to stop thinking about it. like izaya would enter the bath to fuck with shizuo but here shizuo joins him. hmmmmmmmm

translator asking the real questions here pFFF

[choco-1601]

And what if I say Arthur deserved to die?

Dont get me wrong ofc I didn't want Arthur to die but isn't it beautiful how karma got to him? He beat a half dead man to death.. obv he didn't like it but he still did it? I kinda think Arthur had the chance to idk rebuke the debt or somehow fake it so the guy could be spared but nope..he consciously made a decision beat him up for some bucks..which is irony bc Eliza and isaac died for almost the same cause as well.

So when I think about it like that, I think Arthur got what was coming to him.

Not gonna tag it bc Im afraid the infantilizers r gonna come for me 💀

[ivegennedmylastloss]

hidey hodey neighborinoes i know i may or may not have disappeared for like half a fucking year but brain does what brain do. since i am now willing to admit that i likely will not find the motivation to write a full length fic like i would want, i wanted to post the “outline” (re: complete gibberish only past me could understand). at some point i’ll try to compile all the tidbits i had sprinkled across drafts and docs and try to clean it up a little but, well, im not even sure what i meant in some spots. hopefully ill pull the writers block out of my ass one day but until then, take this word vomit:

(for clarifications sake, r= red/ranboo, g= green/charlie, b= blue/sneeg, h= hetch, sfm= showfall media)

retelling of ep three from hetch’s pov. mask broke sfm doesn’t know. reset after stab still aware of what he’s doing but can’t control himself. hopeful ending with planning to save the trio and get them out?

the closet sfm is onto hetch so he has to do damage control ran receiving no instructions. things settle scenes been dragging he panics and basically controls r to kill ethan

maybe broadcasted to a different universe. problem w family and friends recognize

maybe broadcasted to rich assholes like in the purge/gladiator type deal?

the face of the hacker wasn’t actually supposed to do things but did anyways

follow up w/ rgb saving him g and b reluctant. r insist they won’t let anyone else die because of them. idk burn the mall maybe torch it like a fuckin wasp nest

employees stop at the door mannequins little nightmares two.

all four struggling down the road maybe r passing out carried by g or b

hot wire a car

traumatize gas station clerk

fire department from fire alarm

hetch flag down car 2 options:

car sped off but called police for them

offered ride to hospital

hetch the sidewalk isn’t wide enough fourth wheel type deal mostly unscathed compared to rgb but smol bean has anxiety and left over programming. weak little noodle arms can’t help shit. b sending hella death glares

b wouldn’t want to help hetch

r electrocuted from attempted mask removal

through the power of friendship and laws of physics or electrical plasma whatever it isn’t fatal hoorah

hetch stunned doesn’t help gb fuckin pissed at him

paramedics confused about what happened to these very dedicated cosplayers that are found half dead barely hours after the live finale

r wakes and is terrified thinking they’re at the box and start screaming for gb. hetch freezes g n b have to be held back by police

hospital r coma from noggin surgery (medically induced for healing cause wtf) g and b want to kick hetch’s ass only stop cause of r

prob not ccs maybe r foster kid hinted maybe

b needs to get to punch someone. american healthcare so probably a doctor or a nurse

hetch medically released first<irrelevant travel distance. hetch watching charlie and sneeg have friends and family going in and out but r has no on so hetch goes

others not allowed in camp out in waiting room. ran wakes up and freaks. competent doc allows them in and r calms down. good doc fights for them to be able to stay in the room psych health. special accommodations are made no tv in room gets a double room for more beds/couches <<needs special room post brain surgery op icu maybe nurse/doc maneuverability <<< maybe one allowed in at a time

^the nice doctor thrown in for pity maybe philza if crossover? detective techno? or both detectives that almost beat the shit outta the responding cops for fucking up the most important case they’d ever get

sfm sends an employee pretending to be ranboos mom. the others are scared but also she is acting like a mom that lost her kid so maybe it’s okay??<< others not allowed in the room since family only? nope ran wakes up freaks cause that bitch ain’t momboo (dead question mark? orphan? don’t tell techno)

employee tries to strangle r no loose ends: doc pulls her off; trio breaks in hetch proves himself?; r is a bamf and defends themself (hitting? reverse uno they strangle her? rips out iv and stabs her?< needle to weak would have to be in eye)

r scared to sleep from cabin electrocution and execution hold hand 👉👈?

carousel saved NO FIRE IF CAROUSEL perhaps a group meet for victims ranboo and hetch reluctant to enter cause they think they’re their murderers. eef spots r and runs to hug him others follow positive to r wary to hetch b says hetch is the one responsible for saving all of them bada bing bada boom happy ending

[narrynukezankielover]

To start with I admit I don’t really like the first 3 seasons. It’s the same thing over and over again and it’s boring. Apparently it’s called villain of the week and I’m not a fan of that. I much prefer the way season 4 and 5 are done. Yes there are still eps where they are just hunting a monster but at least there’s a story to it all. If I was watching back when it was actually on or I didn’t know what future eps were going to be like I would’ve stopped after the first few eps or the first season. I just knew the storyline was going to change so I suffered through it. The only thing that made that easier was Dean. I knew Cas was going to be my fave character (and he is) so I really wanted to get to season 4 to see him and thank god I did.

Now to season 5. I know later on Dean really can’t handle Cas being dead but it’s amazing that it started only a year after knowing him. Chuck told Dean and Sam that Cas was dead. He blew up there was no way he survived that but Dean wasn’t going to accept that. He was like maybe this happened or maybe that happened the guy was not accepting there was even a chance Cas was dead. Same thing in the 5 years later ep when the past Dean realized what future Dean was doing to his friends he said “even Cas?” It was like it’s bad enough you’re sending these people you consider friends to get killed but how dare you do that to Cas. Even with the trickster ep (I’m sorry I don’t remember the names of these eps or what number they are just first half of season 5) when the trickster got rid of Cas Dean even said how worried he was about Cas and then threatened him to bring Cas back. Yet Sam didn’t really seem to care. He had plenty of time to say I wonder what happened to Cas or I hope Cas is ok but nope. I like paying attention to that stuff because people try to say that the three of them are just best friends. These scenes show that Cas and Dean have a much more special bond then just best friends. Cas and Sam at this point I don’t think are even friends. Cas seems to get annoyed when he has to talk to Sam.

I’m also paying attention to the way they are wording things. I’m assuming up to ep 2 Dean thought Cas rebelled because he wanted to or to get away from heaven or the other angels. I like that Cas got in Deans face and said “…I rebelled for you.” He didn’t say because of you. If he said because of you it would sound like Cas wanted to disobey and Dean helped him but he said for you which means he did it to help Dean. Also he didn’t say for you and Sam or so you could help Sam he just mentioned Dean (I guess Dean forgot that in season 4 ep 22 once he said “im done” to Cas that’s when Cas changed his mind. I’m done sounds like I’m never talking to you again and that’s what got to Cas). Also in the trickster ep when Cas found Dean and Sam he said “you’ve been missing for 3 days.” Again he didn’t say you two or you and Sam he said you. Which leads me to believe he was only looking for Dean and he was looking at Dean the whole time. I know this show (including Misha and Jensen) pick their words carefully. Like when Misha said it warmed the Cockles of his heart or when Jensen said his wife calls Misha her boyfriend which is funny cause so do I. I think he choose those words because you can’t tell if he’s saying he also calls Misha her boyfriend or he himself calls Misha his boyfriend. Personally though if it was me and I meant I call Misha my wife’s boyfriend I would say which is funny cause I do that too but if I meant I call Misha my boyfriend I would say so do I.

I noticed that when Cas seen Crowley and that guy kiss he didn’t react at all. He wasn’t surprised or disgusted nothing. Yet when Dean went to that gay sex place (the ep with the magicians) and when he was talking to the two gay guys he was more nervous then anything. If he was homophobic he would’ve been disgusted and if he was straight he would’ve probably had no reaction but he was nervous as hell in both scenes and after he talked to the two guys and they told him his life didn’t suck he was playing with his keys smiling. It was a thinking about someone kind of smile though. Could’ve been thinking about a certain angel. Back to Cass reaction when Dean brought him to the sex place (I know there’s a name on it but it’s bit comeing to my head) he was scared shitless. Obviously it’s not a place an angel would feel comfortable but it looked like more a guy being forced to have sex with a girl by the guy he likes kind of scared. The look on his face honestly made me laugh a little to much.