#nor do i remember many moments from what i've read

[changbunnies]

Slow Bloom (18+)

♡ Pairing: Inexperienced!Changbin x Experienced Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: fluff and smut with a lil plot <3 a tiny bit of angst during the build up but it doesn't last long at all!

♡ Word Count: 8.5k

♡ Summary: In which a misunderstanding while cuddling leads to discovering exactly how Changbin feels about you.

♡ Smut Warnings: not intended to have overt dom/sub dynamics but i may have written bin a bit subby lol oops, references to porn watching, kinda pervy bin?, his lack of experience is not outright stated to the reader as it is implied that they already know, nipple play, thigh grinding / humping, fingering (f rec), protected piv

♡ Notes: so quite a few ppl showed interest in an inexperienced binnie fic after i posted my inexperienced chan fic and i am here to deliver <3 this was also the perfect break from the longer, more plot heavy fics i've been working on as this took a lot less mental effort :') i hope you enjoy this while waiting for those!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

There aren't many things in life that make Changbin nervous. 

He navigates the world with security and confidence, sure of himself and in the actions he takes. He can speak in tense or awkward situations with relative ease, nerves never eat him up in social settings, and he's never afraid to speak his mind or do what he wishes to. 

But then there's you. You, while laying in bed next to him with an arm draped over his body and one of your legs tucked between his, make him extremely, effortlessly nervous.

It wasn't always this way; at least, not as far as he can remember. You've been friends since forever, and closeness such as this is par for the course. He's used to impromptu sleepovers, to you making yourself comfy in his space, tossing your belongings to the floor without a care before you take over his bed. 

He's used to cuddling while watching tv, to squeezing each other into tight hugs, to limbs tangled under blankets. He's used to the lingering smell of your shampoo mixed with perfume, used to the feeling of your breath tickling his skin when you pull him close, to the feeling of your soft skin beneath his fingertips. 

He's used to it, and it doesn't affect him; or so he thought.

Somewhere along the line, something within him shifted. Whether the reason lies with you or with himself, he doesn't entirely know. What he does know is that he no longer sees you the same way he did when you were growing up together. And it wasn't until that shift occurred that he realized maybe "your friend" isn't the only thing he wants to be. 

Maybe it's a natural, gradual progression from where you both began, a shift in desire brought on by new maturity and life experience. Maybe you've been this radiant and beautiful since the very first day you met, but he was too young and oblivious to realize it then. 

Maybe it's because of that strange, sharp and twisting feeling in his gut every time he sees you with a new partner. If it wasn't for you showing interest in other people, would he have ever realized at all that what he feels for you transcends what he feels in his other friendships? 

While he loves his other friends, he doesn't get jealous when they bring a new partner around, or talk about their love life to him. He doesn't spend every night lying awake thinking about them, nor does he wonder what it'd be like to kiss them. He doesn't dream about seeing their bare skin, or about touching them, about them touching him.

He doesn't imagine their tongue lavishing over him, or of returning the favor to them. He doesn't fantasize about them in dirty, naughty scenarios, during his private moments in bed or in the shower. You occupy his every thought, to the point that even while watching porn he has to close his eyes and imagine it's you making those sounds instead, replacing the scene before him with a mental image of you and him together. 

That's what makes Changbin especially nervous right now. You're cuddled up to him, as you always are when you spend the night at his place, but he can't get his brain to please shut the fuck up and stop pushing him to the brink of embarrassing himself. 

He needs to stop thinking about the placement of your hand on his stomach, just above his waistband. He can't linger on the fact that your tits are pressed against him while you hug him, or about how pleasant the soft, content sighs that leave you sound to his ears.

If he thinks about any of it, he'll get hard– and that'll easily be the most mortifying moment of his life, because you would definitely notice with the way your leg is snaked between his and resting between his thighs. It's moments like this when he misses the days of innocence– when cuddling with you like this didn't feel quite so intimate.

He makes a conscious effort to focus harder on the tv in front of you both, playing some sitcom he has long since stopped paying attention to. He guesses the jokes are landing if your occasional giggles are any sign, but if you asked his opinion on anything going on he wouldn't be able to answer. Changbin has never been the type of person who was easily able to divide his attention, but God, does he fucking try.

Because if you realize he's getting hard, and you feel it, there are very few scenarios he can imagine where you're okay with it. And if you decide to question him on it, he'd be done for-–because there's no way he'd be able to outright deny his attraction to you. Playing it off would feel too much like lying, and this is not the kind of scenario he imagines when he thinks about the way he'll admit his feelings to you.

You've noticed since the beginning that his body has been tense; you've been cuddling since you were young, and you're more than familiar with how he feels when he's relaxed. It's almost amazing how someone so muscular can still feel so soft when their body is at rest– and right now you can't help but notice that he feels very far from soft. 

You tried to ignore it and focus on the show you're watching, and it worked for some time, but the longer he stays tense the more you can't help but wonder if you've been bothering him lately. It's become a growing pattern– you touch Changbin, in some ways small and menial like a passing tap to his arm as you slip past him in the kitchen, or large, in which you hug him tight and envelop him with your entire body.

Either way, the reaction is the same; he instantly tenses. You're not sure if he intends to do so, or if it's an unconscious reaction he doesn't even realize he's doing, but it hasn't gone unnoticed by you. The two of you have always been a match when it comes to being clingy and affectionate, but maybe that isn't the kind of attention he wants to get from you anymore. 

Are you being overbearing? Did you unintentionally do something wrong? Maybe he wants to distance himself from you but is just either too nice or too scared to say it out loud and hurt your feelings. 

When you tilt your head to look at him, his cheeks are pinker than they were just moments ago, with his gaze fixed solely on the tv. You're sure he can feel you looking at him, but he doesn't turn his head to meet your eyes. You want to believe he's just really engrossed in the show, but you can't help but doubt it. You know him, and you're certain that for whatever reason, he's avoiding your gaze. 

"Am I bothering you?" you ask abruptly, and perhaps a bit more vulnerable than you would've liked. Not that you can help it, really; you just really care about Changbin, and you can't stand not knowing if you've done something to upset him or make him want to separate himself from you. You have to know, because you can't stand it any longer. 

"What? No, I– what?" Changbin finally looks at you, furrowed brows peeking out between strands of his long, messy curls. You didn't expect him to be so surprised by your question; admittedly, it is sudden, but this has been building for weeks hasn't it? You thought he'd be relieved that you're bringing it up first so that he doesn't have to.

You've never been happier to be wrong, or to see such genuine confusion on his face. Thank God. "Sorry, I just.. You've been acting different lately, and I thought that maybe it was because I did something wrong," you explain, following it with a small, awkward laugh.

Really, you're relieved; at the same time however, you do feel a bit embarrassed and silly to have been questioning what's been happening with him now that he's so clearly taken aback. You jumped to conclusions and got a bit ahead of yourself, it’s true– but.. If that’s not it, then what is it?

Surely there’s a reason– his behavior wouldn’t have changed if everything is really the same as it's always been. If nothing's wrong, why does he tense up every time you try to act affectionate with him? Why does he hesitate to meet your gaze when he never had a problem doing so before? Why does it always feel like he's putting distance between you? 

Changbin swallows, you notice– a nervous response that you guess is from putting him on the spot. Because if it's not what you've been thinking, you need to be provided with another explanation– an explanation that only he can offer you. He needs to clear up this misunderstanding if he doesn't want you to wrongfully think you've done wrong by him, but what can he say that also omits the truth he isn't ready to admit? 

His cheeks grow pinker, and you can tell he's struggling to find words– something you'd typically never expect to see in your charismatic best friend. You've untangled yourself from him enough to lift yourself up, weight propped up by your elbow while you look directly in his eyes. He's slightly beneath you at this angle, eyes having to travel up to meet your own, and again he swallows. 

He's so fucked. There's nothing he can say right now other than "I really fucking like you and being this close to you all the time is making me crazy."

But he can't actually say that. Changbin wants his confession to come with a grand, romantic gesture. He wants to say the sweetest, more perfect words he can come up with. He wants to be a man of action, someone as cool as they are sincere, someone who can make you swoon with suave, but genuine effort. Admitting his feelings to you now, like this, would be the furthest thing from charming, or cool, or perfect. 

As if all of that wasn't enough, now he has to make a conscious effort to not let his eyes wander down to look at your chest– because he's been chubbing up since the moment you started cuddling, and if he catches a glimpse of your cleavage now, he's done for. It feels vaguely pathetic to be this affected by you when you don't even realize you're doing it to him. 

Changbin's eyes act against the purposeful efforts of his brain and travel to your chest, met overtly with the sight of your breasts pressed together. Fuck. He looks back up to your face quickly, hoping you haven't noticed where his eyes wandered. He wishes he could reach between your bodies and discreetly adjust his pants to hide his growing erection, but he can't, and God help him, you're going to notice any second now. 

And you're looking at him so sweetly and earnestly, patient and caring, totally unaware of what you're doing to him and what his actual struggle is. He wants to clear everything up, doesn't want you to feel like the fault of what he's going through lies with you, he wants to answer every question you have, he really does– but he's found himself in a vicious cycle. 

Trying not to think about the position you're both in, of how pretty you are looking down at him, or of your chest that he can't seem to ignore despite how badly he needs to focus on anything else just makes him dwell on it even more. The more he tries not to, the more space it takes up in his mind, until it's entirely clouded, preventing him from conjuring a thought worthy of being spoken to you. 

Fuck thinking of an excuse or explanation, he can't think of anything other than your tits being so close to his face. He wants nothing more than to kiss them, to feel your fingers running through his hair as he sticks his tongue out to lick your nipples, has thought about squeezing them between his palms so many times. 

So can he offer you a reasonable enough excuse that hides the truth of the matter? Absolutely fucking not– not when all he can think about is how you'd feel and taste. "Changbin?" your questioning voice snaps him out of it, looking up at you like a deer caught in headlights behind his thick rimmed glasses. 

He looks guilty, face entirely flushed red all the way to the tips of his ears. And you're convinced now that he was trying to spare your feelings, and was stuck on finding the right way to break it to you. He didn't know what to say, and was trying so desperately to think of something that wouldn't crush you.

He can see the hurt wash over you, and he opens his mouth, ready to blurt out anything in a futile attempt at damage control, but you're already speaking before he even gets the chance to try. "You don't have to spare my feelings, you can be honest, just tell me–" you say as you start to push yourself away from him, very clearly misunderstanding the situation that's been unfolding. 

Before he can even begin to figure out if he should be relieved or devastated by your incorrect assumptions hiding what he feels, the process of moving your leg from between his causes him to let out a gasp that takes you both by surprise. You feel it– his semi-hard erection brushes against your leg as you attempt to move it out from between his thighs. 

"Oh," is suddenly all you can manage to say. Is Changbin attracted to you..? Is that why for months he's slowly but surely become so different in your presence? When you look back to him, he's covered his face with his hands over his glasses, his pouty bottom lip quivering in what you can only assume to be mortification over his body betraying him. 

The question now is, is this simply a physical reaction to being close or something more than that? Would it happen to him no matter who was pressed against him, or is it you in particular that causes his body to react this way? You won't know until he tells you, but you hope more than anything he wants you as much as you've always wanted him.

The idea that he may view you romantically is not something you ever allowed yourself to consider a possibility, but oh, how you've wanted it. Changbin has always been perfect to you; a gentleman in all aspects, attentive, considerate, thoughtful, your very best friend. You always thought you'd be lucky if someone like him were to love you, and you always held your partners to the standard he showed you. 

You thought that even if you couldn't have Changbin, you could at least have someone like him; and while no one ever made you feel the way he does, disappointing you in one way or another, you still tried. Perhaps it was unfair, as no one can compare to Changbin, but if he wants you then you'll take him in a heartbeat, no questions asked. Even when it wasn't entirely conscious to you, your heart has always belonged to him. 

He flinches when you call his name again; your tone is soft, but he's still afraid to meet your gaze and discover what kind of expression is on your face. He thinks he'll die if he sees anything even remotely resembling disgust or anger. He cares about you so much, and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if you lost your trust in him because of this. 

You reach for his hands, and despite his nerves threatening to eat him alive for perhaps the first time in his life, he lets you take his hands away from his face. The apprehension in his eyes is clear, though there's a flash of relief when he can see that you're not upset with him. "I'm sorry, really," he blurts out quickly, feeling like he should apologize even if you aren't going to chastise him for getting hard simply from being close to you. 

“Does this happen a lot when we..?” you ask, watching as his blush spreads down his neck while he hesitantly nods. You’ve never seen him so red and shy before– and honestly, you like it. You’ve always considered Changbin to be cute, but this is cute on an entirely different level; you hope this won’t be the only time you get to see him this way. But before that can happen, you have a more pressing question to ask him.

"Do you want me to help you?" is the next question to leave you, and fucking hell, does that send him reeling. He can’t believe this is really happening, that you’re even asking him so casually. And while it isn’t the way he pictured something happening between you after his many months of pining, he could never say no to you– he's been obsessively thinking about you all this time, how could he say anything but yes?

Still, he hesitates regardless; not because he's unsure about continuing, or because he doesn't want to, but because what if it means different things for the two of you? For Changbin, it'd be everything. You're the only person he's ever liked this much, he might even be in love with you, and he doesn't think he'd be able to recover from having a casual fling with you. He'd never be able to go back to before and pretend he doesn't feel as much for you as he does.

"If you say no, we can pretend this never happened," you assure him when you see the nervous hesitance in his eyes. It's not what you'd want to hear, but he deserves to be offered an out if he needs it; because as much as you want him, you don't want him to feel stuck and uncomfortable. And then you continue, hoping more than anything that he shares the sentiment of your next words, "But I think you should know, I really like you, Binnie. And I'll be really happy if you say yes." 

With your admission, all his doubts and fears are cleared in an instant. Really, that's all he needed to hear to be sure what he plans to say next is the right thing to say to you. It's not how he ever intended to ask you this question, but he’d never dream of passing up the opportunity presented to him– the opportunity to be yours, and for you to be his in turn. "If I say yes, will you be my girlfriend?"

He’s smiling, sweet and cute as he asks, and it makes you smile too– because this is much more like the Changbin you know and love. He giggles when you accept, and as the word "boyfriend" leaves you in reference to him, absolutely giddy to finally be yours. Maybe this is better than the way he always pictured it would happen; because this is more organically you, what is more natural to your dynamic and the care you have for each other.

Leaning down, you softly press your lips to his, and even just a gesture so small is enough to spread goosebumps over his skin. It's so soft, slow, every sensation lingering even as you pull away to take a breath before kissing him again. No kiss he's ever had before compares to how it feels to kiss you; he doesn't think he's ever felt as positively electric as he does right now.

Is it normal for every touch of your lips to make him tremble so much? And his heart is already beating so fast, thumping loudly against his chest with each additional kiss and tracing touch of your fingers over his body. Down his arms, over his chest, underneath his shirt and across his stomach– all of it adds to the sparks in his veins. 

His hands explore you too– eager, and a bit clumsy, but you find his enthusiasm infectious. He's so perfectly warm and soft, and you can't resist the urge to squeeze him in your hands– his soft tummy, his love handles, his defined pecs; you squeeze everywhere your hands can reach. Changbin lets out a soft, surprised squeak the first time, but he quickly grows used to it, and finds himself mimicking the way you touch him. 

He starts with the leg not tucked between his thighs, hand trailing up and down the length of it before he squeezes. Then he moves on to your hips before traveling to your backside, then your waist, and finally your breasts. Even just feeling them over your clothes excites him beyond words, eager and happy to be touching you like he's dreamed of so many times before.

He likes the pleased hums and sighs you let out almost more than he likes the act of squeezing you in his palms, each sound just as pretty and soft as you are. He shivers when he feels your tongue swipe across his bottom lip, and he eagerly parts his lips for you. Your tongue slipping inside his mouth and swirling around his own makes him practically vibrate with desire for more.

Changbin follows you when you start to pull away from the kiss, eyes remaining closed for several seconds before he finally opens them to look at you. His pretty lips, still wet and parted, turn into a pout when you've gone further than he can still reach. His pout vanishes, however, when you start to pull up your shirt, and it makes you giggle; he really is just so cute. 

You weren't wearing a bra beneath your shirt– you never do when you're relaxing before going to bed, even at Changbin's place. You always felt comfortable enough around him that you didn't feel like you had to sacrifice your comfort during your sleepovers, assured in the fact that he'd always be respectful towards you even if he happened to notice.

And while you're comfortable and confident, there's still a certain tinge of nervousness that bubbles up in the back of your mind that comes from being exposed to his eyes now. Tits are pretty– doesn't matter who they're on, or what shape they're in, they always look good; but it's almost funny how simply showing them to the person you like so much makes you nervous regardless of this fact.

You're not ashamed to say you've slept with a lot of people, and that a majority of said people have seen you completely bare– but there's none you've ever liked quite as much or in the same way that you like Changbin. It makes it more intimate somehow, so real, and you suppose that's the part that makes you nervous.

But oh, how his gaze fills your stomach with butterflies– because you don't think anyone's ever looked at you the way he is right now, with eyes sparkling in awe as he takes the sight of you in. He looks at you with pure wonder and adoration, in a way that is as sweet as it is full of lust and desire.

In his eyes, you may as well be one of the 7 wonders of the world– something worthy of reverence and worship. He'd do it if you'd let him– worship you until the sky itself falls and everything around the two of you crumbles. He'll show you in any way he can, with every kiss and every touch, that you always have been and always will be the only one for him.

"Can– Can I touch them? Please?" he asks, polite, sweet, and full of hope that you won't deny him. It's a little funny, considering how just moments ago he was touching you all over– but it's sweet too, how considerate he's trying to be now that you're bare before him despite how eager and worked up he is.

And really, you'd never dream of denying him anything– but you do have a request of your own to make too. "If you take your shirt off for me first," you tell him, fingers ghosting over his torso, "I want to touch you too, want to see every inch of you."

"Oh," he blinks, his cock that has been semi-hard for the better part of an hour stiffening more as it twitches in response to your words. "Yeah– yeah, of course, want you to touch me too," he finally breathes, wasting no time in lifting his back off the bed to pull his shirt up and over his head.

You giggle at the urgency in which he gets his shirt off, and he smiles back at you when he falls back against the bed. He knows he's eager and excitable, and he has no shame in showing it– he's wanted you way too much and for way too long to act like this is just a typical Saturday night for him.

Even if he makes a fool of himself, he'll be happy and it'll be worth it– because it's you he's doing it for, doing it with, and that's all he's ever needed. "You're so cute, Binnie," you tell him, and he smiles brighter, cutely scrunching his nose that way you love so much, and does whenever he's truly happy.

His hands reach for you first, cupping your breasts with an adorable pout of concentration and determination on his face. He's careful with his squeezes, well aware of how strong his grip can be and not wanting at all to hurt you. He rubs over your nipples with his thumbs, and then between his fingers, licking his lips as he watches them get hard enough to gently roll them.

He looks to you for approval, blinking up at you with hope for praise and affirmation that you like it, that he's doing it right. It makes you want to coo at him– but you resist, and simply reach your hand to his cheek, stroking it with your thumb as you instruct him to keep going. He all but melts into your touch, nuzzling his cheek into your palm and closing his eyes for just a moment to relish in it before he continues.

Changbin sticks his tongue out next, watching you carefully as he brings it to one of your pebbled nipples. You meet him halfway so he doesn't have to strain his neck from lifting it off the pillow, leaning closer to his face as you move your hand to thread your fingers through his curls.

His eyes stay on you as he alternates between where he licks, one of his hands always playing with the nipple that his mouth isn't giving attention to. The moan you let out when he sucks one into his mouth makes his cock throb, and truly, he's never felt as blessed as he does right now, with one of his many fantasies finally becoming a reality.

Still, he's thirsty for more– he wants to feel you everywhere, to hear your pretty voice sing him praises, to become so absorbed in each other's pleasure that everything else in the world fall away. He wants to envelop you with his body, he wants your touch to consume him, he wants you to both be equally messy and dirty and engrossed in bliss.

"Touch me now, please, anywhere, want you to," he pleads after releasing your nipple from his mouth with a small pop. His face is flushed the prettiest shade of pink, dark eyes soft and pleading behind his glasses, lips wet and hair a mess– you don't think you've ever seen anything more perfect and alluring than this.

It makes you want to dote on him, and you'll do just that– especially if it's something he wants as badly as you. "Anything for you," you oblige, giving him a quick, sweet peck to the top of his head before your hands are once again traveling over his body. You scoot down just enough to be able to reach his neck, pressing kisses beneath his ear before trailing them down.

Changbin intended to keep playing with your chest as you touched him, but he quickly loses focus, sucking in a breath and eyes fluttering closed as your tongue presses against his sweet spot. It's almost overwhelming for him– your hands squeezing the thick muscle of his arms and pecs while you tongue dotes on him, body squirming when your teeth lightly graze over the sensitive skin near his pulse point.

Similar to when you first squeezed him in your hands earlier, another squeak of surprise escapes him when you brush your thumbs over his exposed nipples– you guess no one's ever done that to him before. You hesitate a moment before repeating the action, wanting first to make sure it's something he's open to experiencing again. He's biting his lip and looking at you not with apprehension like you half expected to see, but curiosity and excitement.

So you do it again, and he gasps, back arching off the bed as his teeth sink further into his bottom lip. Fuck, he never thought he'd be so sensitive there– and he whines from deep in his throat when you comment on it. "You're so sensitive, Bin," you whisper in near awe, and he's half tempted to cover his mouth with his hand to suppress the moan you threaten to bring out of him with your soft fingers.

His cock is the hardest he thinks it's possibly ever been. You can feel it prodding against your thigh, and poor Changbin, he's so worked up and eager for stimulation that he can't help but grind it against you as you continue to rub his nipples between your fingers. In a different scenario, it'd be the bed or his own hand he'd be helplessly rutting against– but your thigh is all he has access to.

It makes him feel positively dirty, naughty, but he can't stop– even when the friction from the fabric of his clothes overwhelms him, his hips don't stop moving against you. You look down between your bodies, watch the wet patch on his pants grow as he continues to rut against your thigh.

You want to take one of his nipples into your mouth, but you don't want him to lose the friction against you– so you bend carefully, conscious of keeping your leg pressed against him between his thighs as you wrap your lips around the nipple easiest for you to reach. He whimpers– a high pitched sound you never expected to hear from him as you swirl your tongue around his hardened nipple.

"Fuck, oh fuck, oh my god–" Changbin whines, bringing up his hands to once again cover his heated face. It's so embarrassing– how good it feels, how loud he's being, how he just can't seem to stop himself from seeking the delicious friction your thigh provides him. Overwhelming too, how close he is to cumming already, his body taut and high strung.

His hips begin to stutter, sweat steadily building on his brow, his stomach clenching as he tries his best to hold back the inevitable. "Are you close, Binnie? Gonna cum just like this?" you release his nipple from your mouth to ask him sweetly. Against your expectations, he quickly shakes his head– as if fighting against himself before he lowers his hands and looks at you with glassy eyes.

"Don't– don't want to," he tells you after another obscene whine, "wanna fuck you first, don't wanna cum until I fuck you." The way he looks at you as he says it makes your heart jolt and stomach twist. Messy hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, pouty bottom lip swollen and red, eyes pleading and desperate.

God, he's fucking cute– positively delectable. You'll have to save eating him for next time, though; right now, you just want to give him everything he asks for. "You want to fuck me?" you ask him, reaching your hand down to dip under the waistband of his pants and underwear. It's sticky and wet, pre-cum smeared all over the inside of the fabric.

He keens, nodding eagerly as he squirms beneath the touch of your soft, warm hand. It's such a contrast from the prior sensation, but just as equally overwhelming. You stroke him slowly; just enough to keep him worked up, but not enough to make him cum. His eyes are fluttering closed, hands twisting the sheets beneath him, hips jolting up to meet your strokes.

"You're so thick, Binnie," you tell him, and he throbs from the compliment, whining almost helplessly. It's true too– you're not just saying it to make him feel good. It's not the longest you've ever held, but it's definitely the thickest– you can't even wrap your hand entirely around it. "Think you can help me get ready to take it?" you ask, needing to suppress the urge to giggle when he enthusiastically nods.

"Anything! I'll do anything for you, anything you need," he babbles, and you thank him with a sweet kiss that he happily returns. He whines when you stop touching him and pry yourself away, hips chasing your touch even though he's the one who wanted you to stop– his body just can't help it.

He watches breathlessly as you stand from the bed, sliding your thumbs into the waistband of your pajamas and slowly pulling them down along with your panties. He decides to follow your lead, scrambling to lift himself from the bed and pull the rest of his clothes off in one quick motion.

Both bare, you take a moment to stare at one another. You get a better view of Changbin's drooling cock, while he finally gets a glimpse at your pussy– and fuck, is it the prettiest thing he's ever seen. How did he get so fucking lucky?

You come back to the bed, and instead of letting you crawl back on top of him, Changbin gently guides you to the side of him and onto your back. You spread your legs for him once you're comfortable, and he props himself up on his elbow, looking down at your body, so gorgeous and perfect.

He isn't well practiced, so he mimics the actions taken in one of his favorite, more intimate porn videos. He starts with kissing you, slow but messy, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth. His hand travels down the length of your torso, and he can't help but gasp and break away from the kiss when he reaches your core, and your arousal coats his fingers.

"Oh my god, do you– do you always get this wet?" he asks, almost mesmerized by how effortlessly his fingers glide between your folds. "Only for you," you answer; you don't know if he believes it, but it's true. The only other times you've ever gotten this soaked were in the privacy of your bedroom, when you touched yourself with Changbin's image at the forefront of your imagination.

He continues to rub his fingers up and down between your folds until his fingers are completely coated, and only then does he finally ask, "Can I.. is- is it okay to put my fingers inside?" He blushes when you smile at him and nod, spreading your legs further apart while telling him exactly what he wants to hear. "Yeah, please, I want you to."

He presses the tips of his fingers to your hole before he slowly pushes one inside, watching in breathlessly awe as it disappears inside your warm, wet heat. You're so slick that it slides in and out easily, and soon enough you're instructing him to add another, and then one more, to which he easily obliges.

He can't decide where he wants to look more; between your legs, where his fingers thrust steadily in and out of you, or to your face, beautifully contorted in pleasure– so he ends up alternating between both. "Is this– is it good for you?" he asks the next time he looks at your face, desperate to perform well for you.

If there's anything he can do better, anything he needs to do differently, he needs to know– he'll follow any instruction you give him in a heartbeat. "Your fingers– when they're all the way inside, can you curl them for me, please?" you ask, and he's immediately doing exactly as you tell him, curling his fingers right against your sweet spot.

"Like this?" he asks, sliding his fingers out and quickly pushing them back inside, curling them to hit your spot, and then pulling them back out to repeat the motion. You let out whines and breathless moans, voice quickly growing shakier and shakier as you try to keep talking him through it.

"Y-Yeah, just like that, keep– keep going just like that," you tell him, voice unsteady between your whimpers and moans, but it's easily the prettiest sounds Changbin's ever heard– he just knows he'll become addicted to them.

He's addicted to everything about you, really– all of it is so captivating. The sounds you cry out, as well as the ones coming from between your legs as his fingers thrust in and out of you. He's mesmerized by how your thighs tremble and twitch when he picks up his pace, by the rapid rise and fall of your chest, by the way your eyes roll back as he drives you closer to sweet release.

"Bin, Binnie– 'm so close, just need– need a little more," you tell him between quick, shaky breaths. "Tell me," Changbin requests, slowing down the motion of his fingers just enough for you to be able to speak with more ease, "tell me what you need."

"Here, touch me here," you instruct, reaching your hand down to point him to your puffy, neglected clit. "With your thumb," you add after you show him, and he nods, pressing his thumb to your clit as he resumes the previous, quick motion of his fingers inside you.

He can feel you clench tighter around his fingers, while the sounds that escape you soon pick up in volume. Your thighs squeeze together and limit the motion of his hand, so he sticks to simply curling his fingers while rubbing your clit with his thumb. It only takes a few more strokes of his thumb to have your back arching off the bed, his name coming out in a choked sob.

Changbin doesn't slip his fingers out of you right away, instead keeping them inside until your breathing starts to steady and your thighs relax. "Was it.. did I do okay?" he asks after you've caught your breath, and God, the way you smile at him– he's sure he's never seen anything more radiant.

"You were perfect," you answer, leaning up to wrap your arms around him and pull him into a kiss. "So perfect, felt so good," you continue between pressing kisses to his lips, "want you now." A shiver is sent straight down his spine; is this finally, really going to happen after so many nights spent hoping for it? “Do you have protection?” you ask after pulling away, and he pouts as he considers it.

He did have some, but.. how long has it been since the last time he had sex? He’s not confident he even remembers where he put them last; it hasn’t really been something pressing on his mind considering he discovered casual flings weren’t really his thing, and he thought the only person he wanted to have sex with, you, was unavailable.

“Uh, I think so! ..maybe?” he mumbles as he crawls over to his nightstand and starts haphazardly shoving things aside while searching through it. You giggle as you sit up and crawl over yourself, deciding to help him look for one in his messy drawer. “Ah, there’s one!” you point to where you see the corner of a packet sticking out from under the book you’re pretty sure he’s been reading on and off for like, 6 months now. 

“Thank God,” you hear him mutter under his breath as he lifts the book up to grab it, and you giggle again; you don’t think there’ll ever be a time you don’t find him endlessly adorable. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn’t have one, of course, as you usually carried around spares in your bag, but there was something really endearing about his urgency to find one.

He’s pretty sure that the condoms expiration date hasn’t passed, but he still checks first regardless– better to be safe than sorry, and all. “All good?” you ask as you watch him check it over, and smile when he crawls back to you and plants a giddy kiss to your lips.

“Yep! All good,” he smiles, settling himself between your legs after you rest back against the bed. He’s honestly pretty nervous, but his joy to be with someone he loves so much does wonders for distracting his brain from the fear of not performing to some imaginary standard of perfection in bed.

Changbin stops when it’s time to open the condom, staring at it for a moment as if considering what to do. You’re about to ask him if he needs help, but he ends up speaking again before you can. “Uh, I know tearing it open with my teeth is sexy or whatever, but I think I’d fuck it up so I’m not gonna do that,” he says, and you can’t help but laugh. Your silly boy. 

“Don’t worry, you’re already plenty sexy without doing stuff like that,” you tell him. “Am I?” he asks, another cute smile spreading on his lips when you nod, and confirm that he’s very sexy. Cute too, you tell him, easily the cutest person in the whole world. And his eyes crinkle and nose scrunches in the way you love again as he giggles. 

What amazing duality your boyfriend has; so strong and intimidating in physique, but with the softest, sweetest personality you’ve ever known anyone to have. He’s so perfect. 

He rips open the packet with his hands, and the condom slips from his fingers when he first pulls it out, but he thankfully manages to catch it before it falls on you, or the bed. "My bad," he says with a shy, slightly awkward laugh; maybe he's more nervous than he initially thought.

He's suddenly extremely conscious of how fast his heart is beating, and of the tremble in his hands. "Want me to help?" you ask, smiling at him sweetly when he timidly nods. "Ah, yeah, if you don't mind," he mutters, and you quickly sit back up, placing your hands over his.

"Keep this one here," you instruct as you bring his hand to the base of his cock to hold in place and keep still. "And then we're gonna roll it down, like this," you guide the hand holding the condom to the tip of his cock, helping him spread it smoothly down his length with your fingers atop his.

If it were anyone else, he might feel embarrassed or a little ashamed over needing help, and for needing to be guided like this with something he feels most guys his age already have perfected. But with you, it just feels sweet and intimate; he can tell there's no judgment, and you're not going to make fun of him for not quite knowing how best to do things.

He's safe with you. And he's glad that out of all the billions of people in the world that he could've met, befriended, and then fallen in love with, that it was you.

You lay back against the bed after Changbin thanks you for your help with a kiss, but you notice he still looks nervous, so you hold up your hand to offer it to him. He smiles as he takes it in his, and you give him a reassuring squeeze after he intertwines his fingers with yours. He uses his other hand to align himself with your hole, and takes a breath before starting to finally push himself inside.

You both squeeze each other’s hand; Changbin because fuck, it already feels so good even with just the tip inside, and you because even with 3 of his fingers prepping you for his cock, it’s still a stretch. He’s pushing inside slowly, and it’s thankfully to both your benefit– because he’d definitely cum if he didn’t, and you’re sure there’d be a sting if he pushed it all in at once.

He whimpers as he bottoms out, his hand still squeezing yours as he tries desperately to ground himself. “God, you feel so good, can’t– can’t believe how tight you are, oh my god,” he whines, absolutely sure that if it wasn’t for the condom he would’ve cum from the very moment he felt your walls squeezing around him.

“You’re big,” you reply breathlessly, reaching your free hand up to the back of his neck to pull him down, closer to you, “so fucking big, feel so full.” “Fuck, don’t say that, I’ll cum–” he groans, and you can feel his cock twitch and throb, as if it to confirm to you he means it. A kiss is the only apology you offer now that his lips are in reach of yours, and he lets go of your hand to prop himself up on his elbows.

He rests his forehead against yours when he pulls away, and slowly, he starts to pull out. “Gonna– gonna fuck you now,” he breathes, pulling out almost completely before slowly pushing back inside, “gonna, oh– fuck, gonna make you feel good too, promise.” You bite your lip, muffling a whine as he continues to build his slow, but steady pace. You don’t think you’ve ever been fucked slowly by anyone, but fuck, it feels good.

You hold his face in your hands, kissing him deep and messy, with your tongue shoved as far into his mouth as it’ll go. You’re both panting by the time one of you pulls away, and oh, when he looks at you– his heart feels like it could stop right then and there. You’re so beautiful, he’s so in love with you, and the way you look at him so full of tenderness and adoration makes his head spin. 

He buries his head into your neck as he starts to fuck you faster, genuinely afraid that he’ll cry if he looks in your eyes any longer. You wrap your arms around him, clinging to his body as you start to roll your hips to meet his thrusts and help him to hit your spot. He moans your name, one of his hands snaking underneath your body to pull you even closer.

You’re pressed to him, chest to chest, bodies hot and sweaty. His face feels unbearably hot, and when he lifts his face from your neck, the lenses of his glasses have almost completely fogged over. “Bin, oh my goodness,” you giggle as you reach up to take his glasses off for him, and he giggles too, though it’s quickly cut off by another moan. 

It’s easy to tell that he’s getting close, and it really comes as no surprise– he’s been so hard for so long now, and he purposely staved off his orgasm just for this moment. His thrusts become more desperate, the throbbing of his cock more constant as he squeezes and holds you tighter. His pace isn’t perfect and his thrusts aren’t precise enough, he knows, but he hopes he’s still doing well enough to at least uphold his promise to make you feel just as good as he does. 

He can feel you trying to snake your dominant hand between your bodies, and he pulls away from you enough to make it easier for you once he realizes what you’re trying to do. He tries to watch, but the very moment your fingers start to rub your clit, you clench around him and it makes his eyes roll back as he moans. 

Changbin whimpers when you moan his name, hips stuttering and thrusts becoming erratic. “C-Close, oh my god, ‘m so close,” he whines, begrudgingly letting you go so he can dig his fingers into the mattress instead so he doesn’t accidentally hurt you. His knuckles quickly turn white, and though it makes him emotional to do, he looks you in the eye.

It’s now that it really sets in just how much Changbin cares about you. There’s no one else he’d ever do this with, no one in the world he wants more than he wants you, and you can see it in the way he looks down at you. His furrowed brows and watery eyes, his bottom lip that trembles, the desperate, almost pathetic cries of your name. He lets you see his most vulnerable self, because he trusts you and loves you. 

You reach to his face, cupping his face in your hand to guide him down to you. He thinks you’re going to kiss him, and you are close enough to, as he's able to feel your breath against his lips. But you don’t– instead you whisper words that make his world tilt on its axis, a loud, desperate moan escaping from deep in his chest as he cums.

"I love you.”

He fills the condom with long, thick and sticky spurts, his entire body trembling. In turn, it only takes a few more strokes of your fingers to cum again, your eyes rolling back as the white hot pleasure licks over every inch of your skin. Changbin collapses first, careful to fall in a way that won’t completely smother you beneath him. 

He pulls out slowly after he catches his breath, and then carefully removes the condom from his softening length. He leans over your body to toss it in the trash bin near his bed before he falls back down next to you, and wraps an arm around you to pull you closer. You end up in the same cuddling position you were in at the start of the night, with Changbin half on his back, and you with an arm thrown over his body and leg tucked between his.

You’re naked this time, there’s an “Are you still there?” pop up on the tv that’s since gone ignored, and you told Changbin you love him. So it’s better, he thinks; everything about where you are now is better. “I love you too,” he finally says, and you giggle, scooching up so you can kiss him. “Took you long enough to say it back,” you say, and he giggles too, happy beyond words to finally have everything he’s ever wished for.

network tags: @skzstarnet @ksmutsociety

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

The double standard Zutara shippers have towards Mai vs Katara is absolutely icky. I saw a post a while ago (don’t remember the user) and screenshotted all the Mai can’t vs Katara can points. I’ll paste them here:

- Katara threatening Zuko if he dares to hurt Aang is a sign of reprimanded sexual tension, but Mai joking about Zuko never daring to break up with her again it's her being controlling.

- Katara screaming at Zuko that, to make her forgive him after he proved to have changed and be a better person to everyone else, he'll need to bring back her dead mother, as if 10 years old Zuko is responsible for Yon Ra killing Kya, is fair. Mai screaming at Zuko to leave her alone after he made a scene insulting her in front of a crowd is abusive, violent and toxic.

- Katara treating Zuko badly after he saved her from being crushed is legit and deserved. Mai slapping Zuko's hand away from her in two separate occasions because he wouldn't stop invading her boundaries after a highly emotional moment is harsh, undeserved and abusive.

- Zuko mocking Katara and telling her that he'll save her from the pirates is cute. Zuko being actually cute with his girlfriend is cringe and obviously something he didn't want to do.

- Katara splashing Zuko when he was kneeling down in the southern air temple episode is justified. Mai throwing a SHEET OF PAPER at him after he broke up with her and ghosted her is abusive and violent.

-Katara touching Zuko's scar in the catacombs to heal him is cute and a moment of trust. Mai touching Zuko's scar multiple times and him not being bothered by it in the slightest (even burying his scar in her hair) is a breech of trust and consent.

- Katara having many guys who have a crush on her throughout the series means she has rizz and that she's a catch. Mai having one boyfriend other than Zuko makes her a slut.

- Mai and Zuko being childhood friends to lovers is cringe and an overused trope, but then you'll go on the Zutara tag and find multiple fanarts of childhood friends Zutara AUs

- Katara establishing boundaries and making her stance on breeches of trust well known with multiple characters is good writing. Mai breaking up with Zuko after he lied to her multiple times means that she isn't worth sticking around, and is so selfish that she'll leave Zuko in a moment of need.

- Katara had three children while Mai only had Izumi, which means Katara is a better woman (yes, I've actually come across this kind of disgusting comment.)

- Zutarians claim that Katara is apparently reduced to a housewife and child bearer with no agency as Aang's wife (she is a well known master, wonderful healer AND politician as she made bloodbending illegal in canon), and would be better off as the fire lady (????), but at the same time Mai is nothing special because she is just the fire lord's wife while Katara is a master. Like, make it make sense. Being a fire lady is either "demeaning" for both or for neither.

+ Zutara fans making Izumi Zuko and Katara's daughter, and then proceeding to make a rant on how Mai is NOT Izumi's mom despite her looking exactly like Mai and Michi PLUS having "fountain" a significant name in Maiko's love story, in her name.

I’ve been silently reading all the anti zutara here and thought of sharing my piece. I would like to hear what you think too

God, the Izumi one pisses me off the most because:

1 - Neither Katara nor Zuko would EVER just refuse to raise or even acknowledge a child of theirs. Katara's whole trauma is about having to grow up too fast after her mother's death. Zuko's whole trauma is growing up with an abusive father that kicked him out of the house. They would NEVER abandon a child of theirs.

2 - Neither Katara nor Zuko would ever forgive a former partner if said partner had a kid with them and then abandoned said child, again, because of their own traumas.

But also HOLY SHIT, zutara's brand of "feminism" never ceases to shock me. "A better woman has more kids"? Seriously? And here I thought the worst take I'd ever see from them was "Zuko needs to marry a woman of a different race because his genes are bad, but he is one of the good ones, and Katara could fix his defective genetic that makes his kind more likely to be violent - no, I never heard the term 'eugenics', what's that?"

And yeah, funny how they're constantly going on and on about how being Fire Lady would totally "empower" Katara, but the second Mai is the one to marry Zuko, suddenly that role is oppressive and disrespectful towards a woman.

[pakunod-a]

Open my heart, read the signs. || Yandere!Vil Schoenheit x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Yandere kidnaps victim, finds out victim is over the moon for them. What to do in a situation wherein my love interest likes me back, without the use of my carefully thought-out plan?

Warnings: Realistically, this should be titled as Whiny!Fem!Reader (totally not a self insert of what I am like irl, no...) Yandere themes, if being dependent on others was a person, it would be the MC in this fic. Reader is 100% on board with Vil's plan. Who wouldn't want to be kidnapped by an insanely handsome guy, AND is in love with you? Honestly, he kinda mean tho. Potentially OOC Vil, this is somewhat fluffy to an extent.. I am not fluent in English, it is not my native language.

Note: am I writing this to satisfy my severe need to taken care of in a concerning way? Maybe. Is this unnerving to see, considering I am a minor? Definitely. But it's all fiction, right? Yeah, totally. Might be long af because I've been brain rotting since forever.

...Darkness.

It was horribly dark in here.

No source of light, not even a window or a lamp.

You try to move, but your movements have been restrained by chains.

You try to wiggle a bit farther, but it's no use. You're stuck here. You begin to sob softly, sniffling as you realize you are stuck in a secluded area, alone.

You hated being left alone, be it in class, projects, friend groups.. you didn't like being left somewhere to wander alone.

...That's right, you hated being alone.

..but you were never truly lonely, weren't you?

After all, Vil Schoenheit always vowed to make time for you.

He swore on the statue of The Fairest Queen, that he would not neglect your need of human affection.

..even if that meant you clinging to his side forever.

You remember walking alongside Vil on Main Street, looking up at the statues of the Seven.

You've always admired them, a lot, actually.

So when you unconsciously walk over to the Fairest Queen's statue, and blurt out your thoughts..

"...Hey Vil, do you think the Fairest Queen would be proud of you for being a spitting image of her?"

Vil paused for a moment, looking down at you to confirm. You were interlinked by the arms, as you stared up to the statue, focusing on the sculpted apple she held by the stem.

"I suppose she would. Why.. why a spitting image of her though? I look nothing like the Fairest Queen herself."

"I think.. because.. I find you very pretty. And you're like.. really reaaally smart at making potions. And you're like, perfect. Real perfect."

You beamed at him, grinning like a Cheshire cat. You felt.. dizzy. A little dizzy, as you lean onto Vil for support.

"Mmm.. feelin' a bit sleepy, Vil. Catch me."

You went limp in his arms, and the world around you fades to black. From fatigue, maybe? Or from something else..

There are a flurry of footsteps making their way towards you. The door creaks open, and you can make out a tall, beautiful shadow from the emitting light.

"You're up, dear? That was quick. I'd have expected you to sleep for a while longer."

You know that voice. You've heard that voice many times, in your dreams, in your nightmares, the voice that sets you to sleep and causes you to wake. The voice that makes your heart yearn for more, if not all of the praises it sings for you.

"...Vil?"

"That's right dear. Vil Schoenheit, if you've forgotten. Now, let's get something through that thick skull of yours, alright? I will not let you go. No matter how much you plea—"

"..'s cold Vil. Hug me please."

That caused Vil to pause for a moment. What do you mean, "hug me please", do you not understand what type of situation you're in? Or maybe, it's a trick! You're trying to deceive him!

"Enough. I'm not here to play your silly games, [Name]. If you try so much as to fool me, then I swear on the Great Seven, you are not leaving this room, nor will you see the light of day again."

Vil.. was raising his voice at you. That was weird. It always felt weird when he yelled at you, or got mad at you for whatever reason. He always dotes on you or compliments you, and on the off-chance that he DOES yell at you, he always apologizes profusely, stroking your hair in an attempt to console you.

"But.. you never yell at me.. Vil—"

"SILENCE! I will not fall for your made up stories and lies! Just for that, you will stay in this room for days on end without human interaction until I say otherwise!"

He storms out the door, slamming it shut. You begin to sob quietly, patiently awaiting the hands that once held you to hold you once more, the voice that used to comfort you until you peacefully slept in his arms..

But alas, he was gone. Gone was the kind, loving Schoenheit you knew, now just a cold and unnerving replacement. Why.. why would he do this to you? After you've trusted him to stay by your side.. to not leave you like the others do.

You thought he was special. You thought you were special to him, too. But you're starting to wonder if everything that he said was only lies for his convenience.

True to his word, you spent the next few days alone in his dark room. As those days pass by, you began sobbing yourself to sleep as the hours trickled through the hourglass of time.

You called out to Vil unconsciously, of course. In your sleep, you would yearn for the presence of another. It just so happens that you call out the name of your captor, Vil Schoenheit, whether you were aware or not.

This breaks Vil's heart, and it almost breaks his resolve too. He wants nothing more than to hold you close, coddle you like a mother, as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear. You would sleep in his bed, as the both of you wrap your arms around each other for warmth.

He hears your calls in the dead of night, echoing through the empty Pomefiore halls. His sleep would be disturbed by a call of distress, his beloved calling out his name.

Alas, he believes this is all a trick, an illusion to simply lower his guard.

And so he spends the next few nights, tossing and turning, guilt eating at him constantly, without fail.

Until one night, your calls stop. You yearn for him no more. He cannot hear the gut-wrenching melody that once rang in his ears, the call of his beloved to come find her, to save her from the predicament he had put her in.

He gives in to his thoughts, and visits his captive at the peak of dawn.

You were there, sitting as if you had been weakened to an extreme extent. He wanted nothing more to hold you, to caress you again. But he has thought of every possibility, every problem, every solution.. but his conscience gets the better of him. He unbinds your hands from the chains restraining them, and carries you back to his bed. Thankfully, you were asleep at this moment, so he had little to no struggle in moving you to an accessible spot.

He sets you down gently, and for the first time since he's held you captive, as he drapes a blanket over your sleeping figure, you unconsciously grab hold of his hand, reaching, feeling the warmth you so dearly missed.

"..—il.. Vil.."

"[Name].. my dearest [Name], did I go too far? Did I break the promise I swore to honor in your name? Tell me [Name], I'll set it right, you don't deserve to suffer like this. You deserve to be—"

He notices that you've shifted, instead of being at a reasonable distance, your first instinct was to cuddle up to whatever warm living thing you find. As a result, you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him closer to your sleeping form.

"Nnh.. Vil.."

"Yes dear.. Vil is right here, with you. There is no need to call out, this is where I will stay; beside you. You would appreciate that truly, wouldn't you?"

You did not respond, but something about the relaxed look on your face tells Vil that maybe you weren't planning anything meticulously drastic at all.

"I won't ever leave you again my dear, I promise. I mean it this time."

...You wake up to the feeling of an arm draped over you, your head elevated on someone's chest. You glance up to see Vil Schoenheit embracing you, burying his face into your hair. He mumbles in his sleep, holding you tight as humanly possible.

"Stay.. stay with me.."

"...mm?"

You poke his cheeks. It's adorable whenever he's vulnerable like this. You peck his forehead, and drift off to sleep.

You hear a soft melody that causes you to stir awake, the familiar comfort of two hands caressing your hair as a lullaby graces your ears. You felt all too familiar, until the melody was broken by a question—

"Good morning dear, did you sleep well?"

This time, Vil was the one looking down at you, your head in his lap, as he gazes at you with the most woeful of looks one could give.

"I am sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. I shouldn't have done this to you. I understand if you want to leave, and I'll understand if you hate me so much to the extent that—"

He was cut off by a kiss to his nose, which both surprised him and caused a blush to his face.

"..ah. You.. um.. seem to react.. not in the way I was hoping you would."

He muses, as he hears you giggle softly.

"I'm fine with being like this with you any day. But please, promise to not lock me up in a dark room for days next time?"

He chuckles, kissing your forehead in adoration.

"Never. Not again. Say, once winter break is over, how about I spend the next spring break with you? Ah.. given that I'll have to clear my schedule, of course."

"You'd do that? Like.. seriously? I thought you had gotten an offer to star in another famous movie as the antagonist?"

He grumbles, pinching your cheeks suddenly.

"And why would I willingly accept the offer if all they would do to my poor image is to villainize me?"

"Ha ha. Funny. It's because of Neige playing the protagonist, isn't it?"

"Partially, yes. But also.. I promised I'd take you to see the first flowers bloom in spring. I can't jeopardize special moments like those for some silly movie."

That remark stuck with you. Your arms only opted to wrap around him tighter.

"..okay then. As long as you promise not to lock me up again."

"Silly little spudling, of course I wouldn't. You've taken quite well to being captured though. I can't help but wonder if maybe you love me or something."

"It's taken you this long to figure out?"

"..what?"

You look in mock horror, teasing him.

"Don't tell me you thought that all the things we do are platonic. Holding hands, interlinking arms, overly affectionate hugs and kisses—does that not seem romantic?"

"..I feel silly."

You giggle at that, kissing the tip of his nose as a response.

"For such a smart person and a great actor, you sure are a dummy."

"Very funny. I'm going to make you sing at the well on the campus in the midst of this cold weather if you don't stop teasing me."

"Like actually?"

"Actually."

Note (2): lol i wrote this at 11pm and finished at 1am cause i kept on dozing off now that ive proofread the entire thing it just seems like an original character rather than Vil himself 🏃

[st0rmyskies]

Team Bonding Linkshipping Stories

There's been some recent kerfuffle among enjoyers of the little Team Bonding unofficial series, and said kerfuffle has manifested as... a shitton of explicit monsterfucker and Link/Link fics. I hope you have some extra time this weekend for some light reading.

Under the cut for length...

Presented in chronological order, including the three stories in the series I've written...

This story drops some new lore about the Shadow Beasts that it's important to know for later.

Pairings: TP!Link/Shadow Beasts, special guest star Midna.

A battle with the Twilight Beasts takes an unexpected turn for the Hero of Twilight. It's all manner of wrong, and yet... he can't help but find himself enjoying it.

Immediate sequel to To Be Taken by Twilight, two chapters.

Pairings: TP!Link/Midna/Zelda, leans heavily into MidZel.

In the aftermath of the Twilight Invasion, Link, Zelda, and Midna find time to just breathe.

Spoilers: They do WAY more than just breathe in this story.

The original sin in this series, all because someone in a server once talked about the Shadow Beasts being sexy.

Pairings: A little bit of everyone/Shadow Beasts.

During their journey, the heroes were subject not just to the antagonism of the shadow but to the unique perils that plagued each of their eras. When the swirling portal opened above them and heavy stone spires fell to the earth, Twilight felt every hair on his body stand on end.  There was really no delicate way for Twilight to warn his brothers-in-arms of the danger they were all in.

Pairings: Mainly Time/Twilight with Twi/Wild and Warriors/Legend mentioned as well.

There is another legend that is passed down alongside the story of the golden goddesses, although not many remember the tale. It's the story of two devoted lovers, one of whom was the bearer of the Spirit of Courage, who were separated from one another by the cruelty of fate. When no god nor great spirit would aid the hero in being reunited with his lost love, he was forced to turn to more nefarious methods, cleaving his soul in two. Maybe this is why some of the heroes have crossed paths with one another and connected along their adventures in spite of being separated from each other by entire eras. And maybe in this era, fate has given Twilight a second chance.

Pairing: Time/Twilight.

The group lands in Ordon Village, and there just aren't enough places in Twilight's home for eight heroes to sleep. Some of them may end up needing to share close quarters.

Pairing: Time/Twilight/Wild.

“What’s the matter with you, Rancher?” Warriors’ voice was curiously devoid of genuine emotion, but when he turned his attention back to Twilight, his eyes were bright with– something. "Feeling a bit territorial?” Or: following the events of A Dangerous Game, Twilight finally checks on Wild after their romp with the Shadow Beasts. Well, he tries to. It turns out that Time got there first... or Wild sought out comfort in someone else when he usually reached for him. Twilight doesn't know which option feels worse.

Pairing: Time/Wild.

“What if I feel safer next to you.” Wild countered. “What if I feel safer when I’m touching you?” Turning his head to meet Wild’s eyes, Time slowly slid his hand across Wild’s warm thigh, his lips only inches from Wild’s own. “Is this enough?” he said softly. Wild considered for a moment, his hands reaching for and curling over Time’s own thigh in return. It took both of Wild’s hands to cover the same amount of area as Time was touching on him. “We could be closer,” he whispered in reply, and before Time could respond he was kissing him. OR, Wild and Time together before everyone else.

Pairing: Legend/Warriors.

"For while it could take so much for Legend to finally lay down the hypervigilance trained into him after years and years and years of adventures and mortal peril, being trusted to safeguard his rest filled Warriors’ heart pride." Spinning off from A Dangerous Game and the snaps from the same little breaks (in our soul), Legend and Warriors explore their own aftermath following the encounter with the Shadow Beasts.

Pairing: Four/Shadow Beasts.

This is probably a bad idea, a piece of Four thinks as he makes his way down the trail. He has things to do. Or, well, better things to do. It's just... it's not his fault that not-people are so hard to come by. or, Four makes interesting decisions in the wake of Team Bonding

Pairing: Sky/Hyrule/Shadow Beasts.

He shouldn't have enjoyed it, but Sky couldn't help but find his feet carrying him back to the clearing when they'd oh so recently encountered those monsters from the Twilight.

[lintwriting]

Disney’s Comphet Episode

girl meets world's legacy will most likely be its total flop as a sequel to boy meets world, as well as the worst autism rep ever lol but I'll personally always remember it for how much it FUMBLED THE BAG because it introduced a stupid love triangle.

why were there so many shows in the late 'aughts dedicated to RUINING their shows with pointless ship wars? star vs the forces of evil, danny phantom, and girl meets world are just off the top of my head.

we have these two perfect best friend characters. surprisingly perfect friendship. okay, more like, veering on homoromantic.

(via @forbescaroline)

and then you know what they do with it? They insert the MOST WHITE BREAD ass love interest ever in the form of Lucas.

his defining characteristic is that he's a dreamy goodboy, and there's nothing wrong with that except that he's EXTREMELY boring compared to the oddballs of the rest of the cast, like Farkle or Maya or Riley.

The one thing that subsidizes his bore factor is that all his love triangle ship drama fuels conflict in the show.

he's the straight man--ha, get it? kys

he's dreamy enough to have these perfect friends in conflict over him.

and it kind of ruins the fun of the show.

like, i don't want to see Riley and Maya fight. and they don't even want to fight either. so they're just sighing sadly at each other, meanwhile im over here WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT TO DATE LUCAS??

it's giving "she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious"

like i appreciate a show that demonstrates that girls in competition over a guy DO NOT need to be catty or mean (from what I can remember), but like, this should have been a 1 episode plot AT MOST GOD

they expand on the plot in the most bizarre ways possible too. like i havent watched this show in years, but i still remember this shit.

The premise of the show is that Riley falls into Lucas's lap on a bus in ep 1, so they're basically an end game couple from the beginning. But they have to introduce a shitty love triangle.

So they then have an episode where Maya "acts" as Riley for a day, and while she's acting as Riley, she realizes that Riley doesn't love Lucas and most likely sees him as a brother. which, first of all, is the craziest shit ive ever heard, and second of all

COULD HAVE BEEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL scene about comphet EVER in a disney kids show.

the DRAMA. the PROJECTION. "she's confused" "feelings you don't understand"

the contrast between what Riley THINKS she feels for Lucas and what Maya feels for Riley. Riley ASKING MAYA "how do I feel, then, maya?" and MAYA's "just tell me what to say" !!! It's the "Good Luck, Babe" of it all!!!!!!!!

it astounds me that this exists in the show! i remembered nothing else about the show EXCEPT for this scene and the terrible autism PSA farkle episode lol.

they use this to fan maya x lucas flames and some drama about maya becoming riley in the last season, which I have zero clue about because all that exists to me is that one crystal clear moment of comphet.

so yeah, while I don't care for sabrina carpenter's music, im extremely happy that she covered chappell roan's "Good Luck, Babe" because it led to this amazing edit that compiles all these moments lol

what a moment. everything, it all has led up to this 67 views edit.

last thing I gotta say, I feel like the drama of "are you becoming me" would've ATE as drama, especially in a sapphic context. like some jennifer's body type shit. instead, it's poorly executed, one-sided, and does harm to both of their characters, from what I've read. BUT LIKE, there's no way it was one-sided. The envy/self-projection thing nor the love!! THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN RECIPROCAL oh my god i can't Disney was SO CLOSE to greatness WHYYYYYYYYYYY

[blitz0hno]

This got long so TL;DR: Mikoto acts on autopilot ~%90 of the time, but I believe he planned (most of) his crimes. He has straightforward reasons that align with his actions, but appears purely unreasonable because of his mental state. Kotoko is very deliberate, but acts her most violent out of raw emotion. She appears calculating, but feels completely out-of-control despite her strong "heroic" front.

y'know it SEEMS cliche that John screams like a madman every time he fronts but gee horror tropes aside has Es considered that switching can HURT?? like a lot???? Like idk maybe feeling your body flood with adrenaline and being made to handle that shit the moment someone "pisses him off" is a little bit agonizing? Maybe having no idea what's going on until he can process the emotional flooding adds fear which really doesn't help???

Fuck mannnnn when you read between the lines, John and Mikoto are a REALLY good deconstruction.

... especially since he is contrasted mainly with Kotoko. I say this because I was just struck with an idea.

ESSAY TIME LITERALLY A WHOLE ESSAY CAME OF THIS RANDOM THOUGHT no sources tho pure opinion~

So KOTOKO, despite saving the girl being her primary objective, kicked her victim to death out of anger. At her core, despite all her ideals, she was not acting out of reason or necessity, however reasonable the actual action seems.

Given that prisoner pairs are meant to starkly contrast, that gives me my best reasoning as to why I defend Mikoto's innocent vote while also praying John DOESN'T disappear:

Despite how unreasonable and irrational John acts at first, there's a reason he reacts the way he does. And deep down, somewhere in his mind, MIKOTO knows the reason he did what he did. His motives are real, even if he doesn't remember carrying out such a "dream." This leads me to believe there were REALLY big reasons, and likely good reasons, for killing who he did.

A deliberate, maybe even carefully premeditated act would undeniably lead to the death sentence. His brain knows this even if Mikoto himself isn't consciously thinking of it. But a defense of randomly "losing control?" MAYBE he can keep surviving. Because all he was doing was surviving.

I believe that when one protects themselves, they protect others as well. Perhaps I am biased, but no, abusive people should not go unaddressed and uninterrupted. It's very very very implied that John and Mikoto went after people he felt endangered by. I went over this in my first "Double" analysis, but TL;DR I think the red herring John gave (which is funny cuz that phrase comes from tactics to throw DOGS off their trail) goes SO much farther thematically than I've seen talk about.

John has reasons that he does what he does, as does Mikoto. Systems are wired for survival. The lucky ones do well in academics and even many job environments because they are ALWAYS processing what to do next. Burnout is SEVERE because the brain is basically always "on alert," even when we're checked out. I can find clinically documented sources for this claim and I will if I make a video or something about this, but yeah it sure is an EXPERIENCE when it all comes crashing down. Trying to end a cycle.

As for Kotoko? She is literally portrayed to have a one-track mind. Her ideals and justice. But ironically? She killed out of raw anger and emotion, which is what the wolf at the end of Deep Cover represents. Despite having a very "normal" life overall, SHE is the one who truly loses all control of herself. SHE beats up the people who annoy her. Because it's grating, as she said in Deep Cover, to face the ugliness of humanity and NOT be able to escape your brain's response to it. SHE cannot "disappear" and forget her rage at injustice like Mikoto can. She is at the mercy of this uncontrolled rage and the resulting violence she allows herself to perpetrate. Repeating a cycle.

it's so brilliant. It's SO brilliant. They are the same. They couldn't be more different. Neither is a hero nor a monster. But they are heroes in SOMEONE'S, or arguably MANY people's eyes. And yet in both 009 and 010's cases, when we see their truest and most raw colors, we question EVERYTHING we assumed before.

Mikoto is not telling the whole truth when he says he doesn't get angry or remember anything. John straight-up lied to cover Mikoto's motives for doing so, and possibly out of his own genuine confusion. He is acting on instinct drilled in by traumatic events that the brain is using as reference; however, with how DID works, John is not going to know that. It's not his "job," the protection role he plays in the system , to know that. Yet there are reasons all the same. His BIG reason, which he calls out to Mikoto in "Double," over and over, was to SAVE Mikoto. Meanwhile, Mikoto is afraid of his actions, but presumably carried them out in order to stay alive. Whatever his "dream," he still wishes he could be seen as a good man despite what he presumably felt he had to do to survive. DID is the "sink or swim" disorder; it's literally about saving yourself and being protected from the emotions that come with it. Whether or not his reasons truly make sense is yet to be seen, but either way, Mikoto feels he cannot trust himself. He is cut off from emotions that would make him believe his reasons were "bad enough" to ACTUALLY warrant murder. That is why he split; to forget how bad it truly got. He has NO idea how protected he truly is.

Kotoko firmly believes that she is COMPLETELY honest about what she wants and what she wishes to do about it. She believes her anger is justified completely, and thus her actions must be justified as well. This reasoning allows her to be completely convinced that she is aware of and comfortable with her every choice. Her reaction to her own anger, leaving Lucky behind in that rage, and her reaction to the wolf in "Deep Cover" revealed her awareness and comfort to be a self-imposed illusion of strength. Her ideals are real and she fights for them, yet she's crossed so many lines that she's actually very afraid of what she's become. It's right behind her, isn't it? Something she cannot run from before it swallows her. And having picked apart every other person there? She is alone; but this fear isn't "strong," so she hides it away for the extraction machine to reveal to us as the audience.

Both are driven by larger-than-life emotions that can only come from raw existential anguish; emotions repressed until they explode. Neither are anywhere near what they seem to be on the surface. Both are unknowingly dishonest. Neither knows what to do about it.

I wanna say there's hope for them but you know. Superhell.

[amorgansgal]

A Familiar Face

Hello all, had a busy weekend so I've not had much time for writing. And this proved a good way of testing my WPM speed by writing out all this dialogue from listening to youtube videos! Here's part 5 of my fat female tav x Gale fic! You can read part 4 here, part 3 here, part 2 here and part 1 here. Enjoy!

It had been a long, exhausting day in the grymforge and you were glad to see the back of it. The dark, hot tunnels smeared in soot and smelling of sulphur had not been your favourite place to be, especially with how hot and sweaty you were. You didn’t think the shadow cursed lands would be much better, but at least you might get some cool water to wash in. The ancient lift you were riding in creaked and groaned its way to the top and as it came to a stop you breathed in the cold air. Granted, you could tell you were already close to the curse, the air wasn’t just chilly, but an ice cold shock that sent shards through your nose and lungs, as though you had stepped into a frozen lake. 

“We should set up camp soon,” Karlach suggested. “At least rest a bit before we head on into the curse.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Shadowheart said. “I’m exhausted.”

The room the lift had arrived in was gloomy and the only feature you could really see were two flights of stairs running to a doorway on a platform. As you climbed up, Gale’s had briefly brushed against yours and you gave him a small, tired smile. He reached out to touch your shoulder. 

“Not long to go,” he said, though you weren’t sure if he could make such a promise. You reached the top step and frowned on seeing a wizened looking old man, dressed in a thick cloak and with a long grey beard… 

“Ho there, wanderer,” he greeted Shadowheart who had long reached the top step before you. “Stay thy course a moment to indulge an old man.”

You almost missed the final step in surprise. You would know that man anywhere, hells, any wizard, sorcerer, bard or cleric worth their salt would know Elminster, renowned wizard who had saved Faerûn more times than you could count. He had sometimes been a guest lecturer at the Waterdeep Academy, and granted, while Elminster was an incredibly powerful wizard, he didn’t seem the best at instructing students. His lectures would overrun, sometimes by an hour or more, even when there weren’t any questions. And even if many of your peers struggled to stay awake during his meandering, seemingly endless stories and anecdotes, he would still get several questions that would lead to more stories and more anecdotes. 

“Elminster?” Gale asked, evidently just as surprised to see him as you were. 

“The very same, Gale. And a fair bit miffed he is, too, finding himself forced to expose his best pair of boots to so many miles of country road on your behalf.”

“Why did you wear your best pair of boots if you weren’t sure where Gale was?” you asked, the question was out of your mouth before you had the sense to stop yourself and you flushed as Elminster turned his stern gaze to you. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day and I wasn’t-” you began.

His brow furrowed and he raised a finger. “I think I know you, do I not? You raised an interesting question about necromancy when I gave a talk at Waterdeep Academy.”

You were rather staggered he could remember that. It had been your first year as a university student there, the first time you had attended an Elminster lecture. You hadn’t expected the question to prompt an hour long ramble afterwards, but the lesson was learnt!

Gale beamed. “Yes, this is Y/N. Bit of luck we met again, after all those years. So why are you here, Elminster? For what purpose?”

“I was bid to spare neither time nor my own self to find you.” Elminster’s eyes suddenly gleamed with excitement. ”She sent me, Gale. You know of whom I speak.”

You felt your throat tighten a little and your heart rapidly beat in your chest. There could only be one ‘She’ who had sent Elminster of all people out on a search for Gale. Did she want him back? Did Mystra miss him? Love him still? People said she was a jealous goddess. Was the few kisses you had shared enough to frustrate her and demand that Gale… You shook your head, you were not important enough for that, surely? To Mystra you were of no more interest than a small fly battering itself against a closed window.

“But why?” Gale’s voice brought you back from the wanderings of your mind. “Out with it, Elminster. Please!” he demanded.

“Young man, has your sojourn away from Waterdeep washed away your decorum as well as your patience?” Elminster chided, and you could’ve screamed in frustration. Why could he just not spit it out? You bit your tongue as Elminster complained about the lack of decent food and wine while on the road. You couldn’t help but think of the ways you and your companions had to check through old cupboards and barrels to see if any food had been left in them if you wanted something good for supper. Gale had often griped to you about what he could make from a fish head, an apple and a dry crust of bread, though he seemed to work some magic at conjuring up a fairly good meal each evening.

“We were planning on making camp anyway,” you said, before Elminster could really get into it. “Why don’t we rest up, have a meal and find out why Elminster has come all this way during the course of the evening.”

“Oh, for the love of…” Gale muttered, as Elminster whittered on about manners and having some cheese and a cup of wine. You smiled at Gale and surreptitiously took hold of his hand, his smile returned briefly and he stroked his thumb over the back of your hand. Though he frowned a little as the others passed you both by and began to set up camp. 

“Are you alright?” you whispered.

“Yes, yes, fine,” he said, though he didn’t sound it and he only gave your hand a quick squeeze, then let it go and began work on setting up his tent. You would’ve loved to ask him more about what it could possibly be that Mystra wanted from him, but he seemed entirely focused on the task at hand and you decided your energy would be better spent setting up the campfire and beginning the evening meal.

~~~

Once dinner was over, you made your way over to Elminster and Gale. You weren’t sure if you would really be welcomed. Your little foray into helping some nearby towns and villages with a few magical based problems now seemed so insignificant in contrast to everything they had done. Sometimes you had been little more than a cleric, healing injuries, removing curses, ridding places of magical weeds. 

“... Doesn’t do to parlay on an empty stomach, you know. Makes one's words frivolous when they should be grave,” Elminster was saying. “Plenty to digest, after all.” He suddenly perked up and chuckled softly. “A good deal to stew over, if you will. Words ladled with import should be savoured…”

You were about two seconds from fireballing the old man into oblivion, as it seemed so was Gale. “Elminster!” he cried furiously, his eyes filled with rage. 

“Right… um… you see…” Elminster mumbled. You were surprised to see him suddenly look so nervous and apprehensive about speaking further. “Gale, my boy, I’ve come to address a most pressing matter. I’ll speak as plainly as I can, forswearing the accustomed frills that decorate my speech. I’m here on behalf of Mystra. The message and the charge I bring you are hers.”

You had guessed it concerned Mystra, but your stomach still curled uncomfortably. “What is the charge?” you asked.

Elminster’s eyes briefly flicked to yours and then returned to Gale. “You know where you went wrong, Gale. We needn’t dwell on that here and now. But even so, you’re to be given a chance of redemption.”

Your heart was beating loudly in your ears and you felt rather dizzy. You clenched your hand into a fist, pressing your nails into your palm to try and keep your cool and not rush to assumptions. You shouldn’t be jealous, you shouldn’t be selfish. It would be far better if Gale was redeemed in Mystra’s eyes and had the orb removed, than continue to suffer and deal with the difficulty of it all.

“Mystra would consider forgiveness?” Gale breathed, and the sour taste of fear slipped onto your tongue. If Mystra was so inclined would she want Gale back? Did he want that? Surely he must do.

“She would consider… what she considers to be forgiveness,” Elminster said. “Mystra is aware of the misadventures that have befallen you both. She knows of your strife with the Absolute, that most insidious of evils.”

You swallowed down your pride and forced yourself to say, “If Mystra is aware, then I wouldn’t say no to some divine intervention.” 

“The very purpose of my presence - in a roundabout sort of way. You must know that the Absolute is more dangerous than you can possibly conceive. It threatens all who live, even those who are undying. It threatens the gods, the Weave, the very fabric of the universe itself.” He looked back to Gale. “That is why I have come here to charge you, Gale, with its destruction. It is Mystra’s belief that only you can.”

“How?” you asked.

But Elminster didn’t have to reply. “The orb,” Gale said, his eyes were still fixed on Elminster, though you looked at him frantically trying to understand what he was getting at.

“Precisely. Mystra has granted me the power to stop the clock, as it were, on the orb’s rush to overpower you. Instead, you will be able to unleash its lethal combustion at will. You must find the heart of the Absolute, whatever that may be, and use yourself as the… um… catalyst to burn it from this world.”

“No!” you cried and Gale and Elminster looked at you with some surprise, as though they had been so swept up in what they were speaking on they had momentarily forgotten you were still there. “It is cruel of you to demand that, monstrous.”

“He is not. But it seems that Mystra is,” Gale said, and you were a little surprised at how terse and resigned he sounded. He was not seriously considering it, was he? He couldn’t. He mustn’t. Gale was too important to both you and magic itself to just be blown up!

“It brings me no pleasure saying this, my friend, but such is Mystra’s will. Yours must be the sacrifice that will undo the Absolute. And for your sacrifice, you will be redeemed - such is Mystra’s promise.”

You were too horrified and caught up in your own thoughts to even wholly take in anything else Elminster had to say or really see the bit of magic he did to ‘stop the clock’ on the orb, though it certainly cemented in your mind that if Mystra wanted to wholly stop the orb she probably could and your heart clenched tightly at the thought. You only managed a short nod and brief smile at Elminster’s parting words, and then you were left facing Gale, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself.

“An audience with Elminster is never less than memorable,” he said.

You nodded. “He hasn’t changed much from the lectures he did.”

“Ah, don’t be fooled, the doddering act is merely an illusion. When I trained under him-”

“You trained under him?”

“For a time, you must’ve trained under some great wizards too.”

You thought back to the drunken wizard who barely could summon magic missile at the best of time, leaving you to finish most of the fights you found yourself in. Or the professor you worked under who had no interest of doing anything out in the field, he had spent his days pouring over the books he had written and you were little more than a glorified assistant, fetching a mended robe from the local tailor or food for the evening meal. The most magic you got to do was lighting candles or cleaning pots with prestidigitation. It only highlighted all the more how much of the world Gale got to experience and how he had been given guidance by some of the greatest wizards in the land, while you were figuring out how to wipe out a pack of gnolls whilst in the field and your drunken mentor had fallen flat on his face and was mumbling spells that were simply hitting the dusty road around you.

“You aren’t going to do what Mystra says, are you?” you asked.

“Of course, it offers the clearest solution to our problem. All I have to do is find the right place and time, close my eyes, and let go. Then the slate will be clean, wrongs will be righted, the Absolute will be gone and I along with it.”

It left you reeling. He sounded so blase about the entire thing. A small needle pricked at your heart. ‘What about me?’ you thought. ‘What about us? What about all the kisses we’ve shared, all the things we’ve talked about, the magical items I’ve gone out of my way to look for, the way we’ve sat together late at night by the campfire talking about our school days and the lives we led and reading from books we’ve scavenged from old village schools and forgotten libraries?’ 

“Don’t…” he said. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” you snapped.

“Like you’re heartbroken. This is the best way, this stops the Absolute from-”

“Of course I’m heartbroken,” you interrupted him. “Why would I not be? I get to see you again after all these years, after we’ve both lived with so many regrets and you now are quite happy with just blindly obeying her and killing yourself?”

“If it meant sparing you and gods knows how many lives, then yes, I’ll gladly take it.”

“No,” you said again. Frustratingly, tears welled up in your eyes and you tightened your arms around you, looking away from Gale so he couldn’t see. “You don’t get to do that.”

“Y/N…” he murmured gently and took hold of your arms, tenderly rubbing them and pulling you close to him. “If Mystra and Elminster can’t think of a way of stopping the Absolute…”

“Then we have to think of a way of stopping it that doesn’t involve blowing yourself up. I don’t care what she’s said. I don’t care that she’s charged you with this. I care about you, more than anyone else, and I won’t… I don’t want you to… I can’t…” you babbled on, unable to even come up with anything to say to convince him otherwise. Gale pulled you close and kissed your forehead, he tucked your head under his chin so you were pressed against his chest and you were grateful that you could hide your tears, though a little embarrassed you might be getting them on the soft velvet material of his robe instead.

“We’ll see what happens when it happens,” he said.

You looked up at him, though you were certain you looked a mess. “No, it won’t happen, Gale. I won’t let you. I meant it.”

He smiled, as though he was still flattered by your stubbornness and optimism, and you could’ve punched him for the little condescending look he wore. But he silent all thoughts of that with a kiss. When he broke the kiss, you did your best to wipe away the tears that were still on your cheeks, but he stopped your hand and gently pressed his lips to your cheeks one after the other. Then kissed your lips once more. 

[onceinawhilemoon]

The World Hinges on Small Details: Jon vs. Sherlock and The Hand-Me-Down Quest

This quest intrigues me so much. It not only raises questions about Jon's “nature”, but also gives us a glimpse of where Sherlock's focus on the small details, and therefore his struggle to see the big picture, came from.

If you're as intrigued by this quest as I am, read ahead, but before we continue, I highly encourage you to go read @spiteful-crow ‘s wonderful writeup on Jon and Sherlock and the Jungian concepts of “anima” and “persona” (here) if you haven't already. Not only does it explain a lot about them and what/who Jon is, but that analysis also serves as a pretty solid basis for most of this one, and it will help make it make sense, I hope!

Under the cut we go-

Quick recap of The Hand-Me-Down quest: Jon notices a first of three riddles engraved on top of a monument called “The Silver Hand” in Old City, and convinces Sherlock to solve them, saying that the riddles lead to a lost treasure. Sherlock is bewildered by how Jon was able to guess that something was on top of the monument in the first place but goes along with it. Eventually, instead of the treasure, they find a magnifying glass that belonged to Violet, buried under a rock. Sherlock is so confused by the discovery and has no clue as to how the glass made it there. Neither he nor Jon seem to remember ever burying it there.

The third riddle stands out the most here, as the last two lines of it read “you may find only one small detail, but that doesn't mean that you have failed.”

Upong finding this riddle, Jon commends Sherlock on his admirable ability to notice the details. This evokes Sherlock's memory of one of his mother’s core teachings:

S: “In such moments I often recall Mother's voice teaching us of the importance of the smaller details. The world hangs on small hinges, Jon.”

J: “Even the most chaotic miracle becomes sequential when you take a closer look. I remember.”

Sherlock’s keen eye for detail is something almost everyone he meets praises him for, and it's an inherited trait from his mother, who was an authenticator and a truth seeker, she taught him that "the truth lies in the details." Consequently, his struggle with seeing the big picture due to focusing too much on the details sometimes stems from his mother's teachings, which he clearly holds in very high regard. She was also the source of his strong moral stance against lies and obfuscation of truth. He was closer to his mother than his brother, even during her worst days. It's no surprise that Violet had a huge and deep influence on Sherlock-she shaped all of his moral views, many of which are being challenged by what he's discovering on Cordona.

The title of the quest, the quest being strongly tied to Violet and her teachings, specifically the third riddle, and of course the magnifying glass, all lead me to believe that Sherlock put the glass there and made up those riddles and the silver hand treasure, inspired by his mother, the monument, and the pirate it was erected in honor of.

Maybe it was also a ritual like burying Siger’s “skull” to help Sherlock process things and move on. Maybe it was to help him process and reconcile with the negative feelings associated with Violet's abusive nature or with her death, or maybe it was simply just child's play. But, as with everything else, after the pond incident™, his memories of Violet and most of his time on Cordona were suppressed and lost to time, including the magnifying glass and the “ritual”. And since Jon seems to remember or at least seems to have a gut feeling about the past and those lost memories, he recalled the riddles and the legend about the treasure, which, interestingly, can be considered as the “creative” aspects of the ritual. Jon may not have remembered the magnifying glass itself but remembered the steps to get there because Sherlock created them with his help. I do believe he is Sherlock's creativity and imagination personified. I've written a (much shorter, thankfully!) theory about that and how I think it's tied to Sherlock calling him his "anima" (here) if you're interested.

And maybe it was something more, if you think of Jon as a Tulpa or one of Carl Jung's thoughtforms (like Philemon, who Jung described as a "guru" possessing of transcendental knowledge and wisdom) this quest could be an example in which these concepts are explored. Jon does act as a guide in the game. He also seems to notice things before Sherlock does sometimes, and points out things that Sherlock has no way of knowing or verifying with empirical evidence at the time, sometimes even despite his physical limitations, like the “engraving” on top of the Silver Hand monument.

I personally don't think there was ever an engraving on top of the monument. I think the idea was for the first riddle to be memorized by Sherlock while the rest to be written down and hidden. This, I think, makes the whole “ritual” much more personal and special to Sherlock. Of course, after what happened, he forgot everything, and Jon was left to remember the first riddle and made it look like he read it on the monument to entice Sherlock to solve it and remember, just like how he invented the fiction that the skull belonged to Sherlock's father.

Then there's their conversation after discovering the glass, which I think perfectly captures the “rational” vs “irrational” parts of Sherlock, or the "persona" vs. the "anima" :

Jon, the “irrational” and creative part that wants to believe in magic and miracles, tells him that sometimes he just needs to let things happen, that some things can't be explained and we should let them be, and Sherlock, the "rational" part that strives for logic and objective truths, has a hard time accepting that, because to him, everything needs to have a logical explanation and a tangible root in reality.

J: “The whole world is one big unresolved chaotic miracle" - That's the part of Violet's teaching that Jon chooses to follow. Jon finds beauty in leaving mysteries unsolved, in the “who knows?” which leaves the door wide open for imagination, in non-linear thinking which leads to originality and uniqueness. He thrives in chaos.

S: “But they will become sequential if you take a closer look" - And that's the part that Sherlock wants to follow. He finds stability in order. He sees the need to investigate to uncover what's hidden and verify facts with evidence to restore structure into the world.

The two parts are both sides of the same coin. They shouldn't be separated because they balance each other out and make up one whole. Thanks to this balance, Sherlock eventually concedes and lets this particular mystery remain unsolved. It must have been freeing for him to just leave it to "fate" and focus on the beautiful feelings that this strange experience has evoked-him feeling closer to his mother by remembering her wisdom and honoring her legacy.

Which makes me wonder how differently Sherlock would have faced the horrors in The Awakened if Jon was still with him to hold his hand and remind him that it's okay if things didn't make sense, that sometimes you just need to let things happen and free your psyche from the weight of fervently searching for logical explanations. Some things are just meant to not make sense, just like that magnifying glass.

Then there's the title of the quest.

“The Hand-Me-Down” I think, refers either to the magnifying glass itself, being a precious heirloom inherited from Violet which later becomes Sherlock Holmes’ signature crime solving instrument, or the mindset of “the world hinges on small details“, also passed on from Violet and the reason why Sherlock is so keen on the details that he sometimes struggles to consider them within a broader perspective-the big picture-which can cause him to tunnel vision on isolated facts and possibly risk making ill-informed decisions. A notable example is concluding that “Richter tried to save my mother; therefore, he was an innocent man who was wrongly accused,” while disregarding the fact Richter and his medical malpractice caused his mother to deteriorate in the first place.

Finally, there's what Jon wrote in his diary after discovering the glass:

“But when Sherry looked at me through that glass, I was suddenly struck by terror. For a brief moment, it felt as if I weren't there at all, his gaze passing through me and over the horizon.”

Jon rarely gets “deep” in his journal, so this line stuck with me. Jon is pretty aware of his “non”-existence and even seems pretty in peace with it, so why would he be struck by terror at the idea of him “not being there at all”?

The choice of words in “his gaze passing through me and over the horizon” signifies the future; Jon is terrified of a future in which Sherlock doesn't see him anymore; when he favors his rational and mature side so much, that it ends up consuming him and severing Jon, his anima, his irrational and creative part that clings to his childhood, from the whole. If Sherlock stops seeing Jon, only then does Jon truly cease to exist.

I think this means that at this point in the story, deep down in his unconsciousness, Sherlock knew that when he leaves Cordona this time, he'll be leaving Jon with it, and this gut feeling, this terror at being fractured and fragmented, possibly with no way of ever getting mended, manifests through Jon as he constantly tries to alert Sherlock to the danger of the situation, that once he steps through the threshold, there's no turning back.

[sillydumbdoll]

Hey pretty dolly, just wanted to say I've been thinking about how cute it would be if you were to try some self-bondage. Of course you being a good, clever little doll, you'd make sure as a safety net you'd have someone coming over that wouldn't know about it all, but could still release you if you got stuck.

But that would be so unlikely, with the simple tie you were planning. Just a pretty outfit, basic hogtie with some cuffs, and your wand on the bed to push yourself against for an orgasm or several.

With your friend scheduled to meet you for 6, you'd leave the door unlocked in case they needed to let themselves in, and you'd begin to tie. 1.5hrs to tie and release yourself, then get cleaned up; plenty of time.

But then things would start going wrong. Running out of rope when you were almost done, putting the gag on too loosely so that it fell out. You'd be so flustered by the time you finally got yourself bound and restricted, you'd be so in need of an orgasm. You'd finally push yourself onto your wand and feel like you were approaching the edge so quickly, the pleasure almost overwhelming. You'd relax, getting ready for the first of several orgasms, when your leg would tug on the cord, pulling it from the wall and making your wand stop immediately, leaving you teetering on the edge. If you moved a muscle, you'd tip yourself over but probably ruin the orgasm, so instead you'll just have to uncuff yourself and fix the vibe.

Only the key doesn't quite fit into the lock. But you're sure you grabbed the right key for this pair of cuffs. Frantically you try again, but it doesn't matter how many times you try. That wasn't your only backup though, you've practiced slipping the ropes down your body so you can get more mobility, but when you try it the ropes tied in haste are far tighter than you remember from your practice.

With a racing heart that has everything to do with your near-orgasm, you struggle, but every movement just pulls on the rope between your thighs. You can't tell if you're struggling to free yourself, or struggling to pull on the rope enough for an orgasm. Either way you feel like you could cum at any moment if only you could get a little more stimulation.

You're soaked by the time you hear the door open and your friend's voice call out "Dolly, you'll have to tell me what you think of this outfit. It's a little daring but I love how powerful-"

Her voice cuts off as she enters the room and you look over to see your usually sweet friend in a tight black dress with a plunging neckline. Tall thin heels and a pendant hanging down to her cleavage make your heart skip yet another beat and you feel like you might cum on the spot. A wicked smile crosses her face and her voice takes on an almost crooning tone. "Well, I have always wanted a dolly to play with, and you look like that's exactly what you need too. Am I right?". You hesitate, but the needy whine comes out before you can stop it, and you blush as you nod your head with wide eyes.

You don't make your dinner plans, nor do you get your orgasm, but somehow there isn't a thought of regret in your mind. Or any thoughts for that matter, just a dumb little dolly. ❤️

I came so hard to this also read it like a million times….

…. Who wants to be the friend? 🫣😖

[ms-moonlight-inn]

💥💥It’s the Wednesday Tag Game💥💥

Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom! Tagged by my lovelies @jrooc & @vintagelacerosette & @guinguin1984 & @blue-disco-lights & @mybrainismelted & @energievie & @doshiart

How did you get into the fandom? 

I started watching the show 'cause I was raised in the inner-city & heard that there was this new show that was doing this really good, honest depiction of inner-city life. Tell me the 'hood is being accurately depicted & neither romanticized, nor made into a caricature & I show up. Those first few seasons were so familiar to me in both comforting & repulsive ways.

And THEN there also happens to be a gay 'ship in this show?! 😱 I mean, there was no way I could escape the pull of Shameless.

So, it started with me binging back episodes, and it escalated to fanart. Then I tripped across some fanfic... I was a creepy creeper lurking in the background for a long time. Eventually, I struck up a conversation with @dancermk in her comment section. And it all snowballed from there. (Sorry, I just said snowballed –it's not meant to be used as a euphemism.)

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

Strangely enough, it was Pinterest, I think. It was some fanart or fanfic that was pinned & I followed the thread to AO3.

what’s your favourite now? 

Tumblr, but I find myself on Discord a lot lately. I used to spend my time on Twitter until musk took over.

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

The longest who is still in the fandom is @notherenewjersey. The longest who aren't in the fandom @dancermk & @stillbeatingheart

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and want to get to know?

😆 Anyone I've wanted to get to know has, unfortunately, been subjected to my extrovertedness. I don't think you can stop me from talking to people. 🫠 If I'm intrigued by someone's approach to Gallavich, I will interact & it's normally the response to my interaction that dictates how much I'll "harass" you.

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

The first one that really drew me into the fandom & made me want to find other things to read was "As Long As The World Keeps Spinning," by @doodlevich. The whole Husbands and Shit series is so good.

First Fan art that blew your mind? 

So many, but the first one that really made my eyes pop out & my heart beat thump loudly in my chest was this one by @darthvaders-wife . It's so very representative of Mickey.

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

🤫🤫🤫 (but also any shade of monster fucking? though I always liked that. so, maybe praise kink, though I've always liked that, as well.)

ACTUALLY, now that I think about it, a lot of the fluff tags I thought would not be for me. And I wouldn't say that they are a high-key love of mind, because I do absolutely adore angst. But, I am much more tolerant of semi plotless domestic fluff than I ever thought I would be.

What surprised you most about this fandom?

The amount of good writing & art'ing we're privileged to have. There's just SO MUCH good here. 🥺🥰

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

The scene at the docks. All of it. Before the kiss, during the kiss, after the kiss. 🫠

Ian or Mickey?

(I don't play this reindeer game)

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

Ugh. I wanna say Sandy, but I'm probably more of a Lip 😭

***

Tagging @notherenewjersey

[dootznbootz]

"Ithaka by Adele Gaaras" AKA. I got Mindboggled by an Odyssey-inspired novel, get Boggled with me.

THis is just a little vent!! Do not harass this author or people who like this book! I'm not sharing this to necessarily hate on it but just wanted to share because...Mindboggle. (Also please note I have not read the book all the way through. BECAUSE OF SAID MINDBOGGLE. As I don't think it's good to "hate-read")

Also note, that the author says "it's not a version of Homer nor a retelling of the Odyssey, but a novel written under the influence of stories that I first read as a young child and that I've loved ever since."

Found this book in the "discarded" box at the library, probably should've taken that as a sign and since it was for free and no one else had taken it, I thought I'd grab it!

And I got excited because the book is supposed to take place during the years Odysseus is away and it's PENELOPE'S perspective. Penelope raising Telemachus and cute toddler moments? Her, Anticlea, Laertes, (Maybe even Ctimene!) trying to cheer each other up as a family? Her ruling? So many cool things to explore!

But then I started to read and it was okay at first... But it skipped 13 years, which saddened me as, like I said, I wanted "young mother and child bonding together" But I went along with it.

But then there were other moments I didn't really care for. Weird "bad mother-in-law" Anticlea, ENOUGH WITH THAT. It happens to Demeter already! Stop it! Penelope says that she'll be a mean mother-in-law someday as well as "No one will be good enough for Telemachus" (???), Euryclea has a granddaughter who is the "main character", has AGAMEMNON be the one to put Telemachus in front of the plow >:( and a couple other moments that felt off so to see if this was "worth the read", I went ahead and went to the end as I won't lie I really wanted the "Reunion moment" 🥹

And here comes the Mindboggle.

Penelope has an affair.

She has an affair... WITH FUCKING LEODES!!!

THAT'S THE GUY WHO BEGS FOR HIS LIFE BEFORE GETTING BEHEADED BY ODYSSEUS.

Honestly?? Like, I know it's supposed to be a "feminist" story. (says so on the reviews on the back) You never know with those if they're gonna villainize the male characters. I sadly was already expecting the whole "Even though text from the Odyssey states otherwise, Odysseus is clearly a womanizer"😮‍💨BUT AN AFFAIR?! WHAT IS FEMINIST ABOUT AN AFFAIR?! AND WITH LEODES?!?! WHY NOT MAKE A NEW CHARACTER?! A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON? Who's actually cool?

The worst part is? Odysseus is so fucking in love, as he should be. You would expect him to be "bad" to make her affair "okay". Especially as it kind of makes it out like he had "affairs" when it's known to someone with reading comprehension that he was SA'ed.

But he's complimenting her constantly, even as a beggar, and dotes on her and respects her. This novel ALSO makes Odysseus "nicer" and "polite" in an "I don't want to kill all these men but it's what I have to do". Which No! Let that man be PISSED. Get tf away from his wife and child! He can be an asshole and still adore his family!

This is supposed to be her introspecting during the morning after. Not explicit in any way but giving heads up anyways.

[...] she could not prevent herself from thinking of Leodes as Odysseus kissed her mouth and her hair and the soft places behind her ears. "Is this hard for you, wife? Is it strange? There's no hurry...I'll be gentle. I'll wait until..." "No,no...not strange. Kiss me again." "But you're crying..." "I can't help it. My feelings. I can't govern them, Odysseus."

(Page 354)

Like he's incredibly sweet. It makes it sadder because he's crying thinking about how much he missed her. BUT PENELOPE THINKS ABOUT HOW SHE'S CRYING BECAUSE SHE MISSES LEODES!!!

I couldn't stop thinking about Leodes. Remembering how it had been with him. And that made me cry. Odysseus didn't know. I don't think he knew. He thought the tears were for him. Tears of joy. Tears of passion. "Cry, my sweet wife. Let out all the tears that lie within you." "I'm so sorry...you deserve better than a sobbing woman after your journeyings. It will be better, I promise." "Don't say sorry. There's no need. I understand what you are feeling."

(Page 355)

Like you're taking away from Penelope AND Odysseus from something that is so fucking important to their story! HER STORY!!! The fact that they love each other so fucking much!!!

Not only that but the Father/son reunion was very lackluster.

Lots of Argos content though. :'D

LIKE?!?!!? I'm just mindboggled. I don't necessarily "hate" this book. I'm more flabbergasted as I kind of find this whole situation funny. Although I am sad as I wanted moments of her being a young mom, her being with family, her ruling. etc. I just...wanted to VENT!

Again! Don't be mean to the author or people who like this book! I just had to vent about my mind getting boggled for my sanity!

[kanmom51]

Hi! I've been following your blog for a while. As a longtime ARMY and someone who (wants to) believe that jikook is real, your posts never fail to give me the flutters.

Did you get a chance to see Jimin's choreography practice sketch yet? (spoiler: jk shows up hehe)

Whenever I see jikook interacting (and especially in recent years), it always feels and looks like it should be something kept private. Idk. I'm parasocializing third-wheeling lmao. The way they can't stop smiling at each other. The way their hands reach for each other like second nature. The way jk speaks to jm; I know little about the nuances of korean informal/formal language, but even then their tones are what make the difference to me. Language barrier or not, it's hard to miss how jk speaks to jm, which is so different from how he speaks to the other members. And all this, out of a less than 1-min interaction between the two (maybe I'm also projecting lol)

Ever since jk's suchwita live, I've plunged neck deep in jikook feels. Jk didn't have to make a live centered around jm, but he did. He didn't have to watch 2 diff versions of set me free pt 2, nor watch the bts teasing jm compilation, all in front of us; but he did. He did, and it's been wreaking havoc on my heart ever since. That must mean something, because jk doesn't do this for the other members. It goes beyond fanservice because as you already mentioned, he wasn't paying much attention to ARMY during the live. We weren't the focus; jm was.

I'm not delusional - at least, I don't want to be delusional. I've said this to myself many times since 2015. I enjoyed their dynamic together, but as time went on, the dynamic began to shift. Each year it became less funny and more real. Certain moments, like hickey gate and rosebowl, seemed straight out of fantasy. And even looking beyond them, the reactions of the other members are also very telling.

I don't remember why I wrote this anymore lol. I'm just glad I don't seem to be alone in thinking they're real. And thank you for your hardwork and content! I always enjoy reading your thoughts on our favourite black and white + sun and moon + 5813 + you-are-me-i-am-you couple💜🌙☀

@theblindjassassin I do apologize for taking such a long time to get back to you. But I didn't forget you.

Everything you wrote is just IT.

You are not delusional. We here, us, are not delusional.

Those parts of the fandom that love calling us that, they are either colour blind (can't see the rainbow), or delusional themselves wishing upon a non existent romantic relationship between either JK or JM and another member (never happened, ain't happening, and ain't ever going to happen).

I'm happy you did put your thoughts to paper, so to speak, because it's lovely to read these kind of posts every once in a while, helps us refocus, remember, reminiscence.

[rom-e-o]

So, I think I'm just going to flat out make it so Bess does kind of have kind of a sixth sense and is sensitive to paranormal things. I'm not doing anything big or grand with it (except, perhaps in the DnDverse); Bess doesn't try to hone it or think she's a medium or psychic or anything like that--she doesn't want to or really, necessarily even believe that anybody can truly harness those abilities like they claim they can--it's just a little quirk she has. Maybe it makes sense being the daughter of a ghoul.

Anyway, going along with my theory for how ACC can even happen because Christmas is the Night of Miracles where, as the story goes, God himself became flesh and was born into our world, lifting the veil between realms of physical and spiritual during such an occurrence (I don't believe there's ANYTHING in the Bible that states that--it just makes sense for this theory) and thus altering the fabric on that night throughout time since, and that's why Marley could make contact with Scrooge and the Spirits could do their thing; consequently, Bess tends to notice a lot more activity around Yuletide. And on the night itself, she can absolutely see things. She doesn't talk about it much: Most of what she sees are the wretched ghosts like her father, doomed to wander the globe while fettered in chains forevermore, and it's terribly sad and even frightening. But she does also see Christmas Spirits. (Yes, unfortunately, this means Bess, probably does, see cheerlings. 😅Sorry, babe.)

But those aren't the only spirits she can see. Remember, the veil has been altered on this night; other visitors of a more heavenly variety can make an appearance. Angels. Passed loved ones.

That first Christmas in 1843D (funnily enough, while the Scrooges are having their own visitation), Bess catches sight of somebody slipping into Connie's room late in the night. She calls to Connie, obviously thinking it's her, but gets no answer, so she goes to investigate. Maybe Connie had a nightmare?

When she peeks around the door into Connie's room, she sees a man sitting on the edge of Connie's bed. He's translucent and emitting a warm glow that fills the room with comfort, peace, love; there's nothing frightening about this man at all. And he's holding one of Connie's hands and strokes her hair while she remains fast asleep.

Bess can only stand and stare in wonder. She's never had an encounter quite like this. After a moment, he looks over at her and Bess can recognize him from pictures of Connie's and Theresea's: Arthur DoGoode. They lock gazes and hold for a moment, Arthur smiling softly all the while. Then, as if in more of a thanks than simple recognition, Arthur nods at Bess. Bess can't help but smile and nod in return, somehow certain Arthur is expressing appreciation for all she's done to help Connie.

After the moment of understanding passes, Arthur turns back to Connie and leans down to kiss her head. Then as suddenly as he appeared, Arthur is gone. But Bess has no doubts. This wasn't a dream; she is wide awake, nor has she ever had lucid dreams--this was real. And she can't wait to tell Connie about it on Christmas morning.

Also, this could absolutely happen in the og timeline now.😊

I have to let you know that i saw this ask pop in right as I was walking home from the trail, and absolutely booked it the rest of the way home because I was so excited to read and respond.

I love the concept of Bess having this casual attunement to the metaphysical. It feels right for her, even if it does mean that the poor woman has to see/tolerate Cheerlings.

AND AWWW, ARTHURRR.

I've never thought about his ghost materializing to visit her, but it absolutely makes sense that it would. He LOVED his daughter so much, and in many ways, this is the first Christmas she's felt peace since marrying Orin, and since Arthur's death as well. It feels like the first time that he could visit her; while she's at rest and actually have an uninterrupted moment with her

I feel like Connie wakes up the next day and practically dances into the kitchen, twirling and humming.

"Good morningggg~ Oh, I had the absolute best sleep! Usually i feel so glum on Christmas, with the cold and snow, but something must be in the air! I feel so well-rested and just ...so happy."

All the while, she keeps caressing the spot on her forehead were Arthur's ghost kissed her.

I love how Arthur stays silent, even in the afterlife and in his new corporeal form, but his approval and adoration is unquestionable. He knows the impact Bess has had on his daughter, and his thankfulness radiates from that warm glow.

Full disclosure, IF Arthur was alive to meet the 1843D girls, he would absolutely admire the girls just as much as Theresea.

He wouldn't be able to comfort strengthening words or help with projects and tasks, but he would give do anything for them. (I mean, when he found out about Orin's abuse, he was first to grab a pistol and go after him.) Just like TeTe sees Bess as a daughter her her, Arthur would feel similar. He's be so proud of her.

Anyway, I'm in LOVE with this HC in any universe. I think it fits so well with the original lore of ACC, and adds so much lovely and symbolic meaning.

[bellarkeex]

Treacherous [Cardan POV]

My interpretation of Cardan's POV from the night he wrote the Alice in Wonderland note. Jude. Jude. Jude.

☾ warnings: confused yearning cardan, not sure there is any?, mention of drink & powders, not explict smutty dream

☾ read on ao3: here.

☾ wc: 1036

“Oh, Cardan.” Her sighs echo into the shadowed trees around us.

I grip at every piece of skin I can reach. Though she is below me, I am the one drowning in her presence. Blissfully unaware to any semblance of touch except nails digging into my back, the hot shallow breaths on my neck, and her warmth I am repeatedly sinking into. Little bruises had begun to show on her collar bone and if one were to look carefully, more would be found on her inner thighs.

My stomach twisting at every little sound which escapes her mouth, urging myself on in hope to be blessed with more.

My name on her lips, I know this would be my undoing. What would finally drive me into madness. The becoming of a mere beggar, my only wish to hear her say my name. No matter whether whispered and breathless. Hell, in this nightmare, I’d settle for it being screamed in rage.

⋆⁺⋆⋆⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺

It was not always like this.

Many times, she had surrendered to him, the only words the mortal girl dare to utter being pleas. Begging for him to do many improper things to her. Acts which would seem unbefitting to any other respected prince. Yet, he was not that kind of prince, and such acts were expected of him by now.

Oh, Cardan please. She would beg. It is your mercy I am at.

⋆⁺⋆⋆⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺

Another countless consecutive night, I’ve awoke from a fitful sleep. Restful nights have become a luxury I don’t often receive without, what others would call, an obscene amount of drink or powders. But no amount drink nor powders could free me from this torment.

I’m unsure how long I lay breathless among ruined sweat-soaked sheets before I rip them from my body, recoiling from the bed. Relieved to feel the cool of the wood chain press against my back, instead of the stick of linen.

This is entirely absurd and should be the least of my worries. My supposed girlfriend is frolicking around with my apparent best friend, and I cannot even get a simple mortal to leave me in a moment’s peace.

I fail in my attempt to disregard my most recent horror, memories forcing me to recall each moment. I need to forget each one. But I cannot. I remember them all.

Breath fails me just as much as forgetting does, I cannot go on like this. I am entirely restless.

Jude. She's just a blip. Her sad short mortal life merely just a chapter in comparison to my immortal one, I remind myself. She'll be gone before I've even noticed the years have passed. Jude. Gone. Buried beneath the strange mortal soil in which she came from. Gone and everything will be as though my mind was never plagued.

And yet even now after she's vanished, she remains remembered by the land. Her mark clinging onto the earth. The earth clinging onto her. Jude. As though she's supposed to be here.

But she's not.

It is unsettling, unnatural.

My skin itches whenever her & her twins’ blanket is a foot too close to ours, but she's not even here and I feel like I'm on fire. Invisible flame biting at my skin, engulfing my heart and shooting down to my gut. An appallingly disgusting sensation that cannot be properly explained to those unknowing of the feeling.

I fear I may lash out at any moment. A tamed animal resorting back to its feral ways, and she knows.

She knows; because she is the same. Nothing more than a dog trained to not bite the hand that feeds it. But every so often, something must give.

And something has.

Despite my, as of late highly frequent, delirious state there is no mistaking the gradual slip of her façade. Unbridle rage replacing usual strategic indifference. And though that rage is evidently directed at me, I would be unable to say I’m not intrigued. Intrigued by what she could possibly be mad about? Wondering of what sets her soul alight.

It is depraved, treacherous even, and I cannot contain this. I cannot shape this into a calculated void.

The blank papers sprawled before me on the desk seem to perfectly mirror my deteriorating mental state.

I am not sure if out of sheer anger or desperate yearning for relief, I feel I must write. Attempting to free my mind of every thought it holds.

I need it gone. All of it.

Could all be fixed if she was out of my sight?

I finish one page after another, only stopping when ink begins to leak uncontrolled from the battered end of the pen. I vacantly acknowledge the distant cramping of my fingers, slowly regaining focus.

Beyond some daze, I’m aware of what I've written. Aware of what I have wasted my parchment on.

Etched in ink that has smeared along the pages, onto my fingertips and the desk below me, is her. Jude. I can only stare at her name on the paper below me. Her odd, rounded name to match her odd, rounded ears. Jude.

In spite of my overly warm skin and unruly appearance, a strange serenity clouds my previous spiralling thoughts. Calm slips into the air around me.

But I don't welcome the feeling.

I don't wish to understand it. I don't wish to see it.

Before another thought can begin to plague me, I brush the stained bits of paper in to the first book I reach for – slamming it shut so hard a few stray pencils clatter to the ground, chasing a few stay pages of truth that avoided being encased inside the book. I’d have to remember to burn them later.

Only after a minute do I read the cover of the book beneath my hands. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass.

I almost laugh, as though some sick and twisted work of fate had given me the book itself, deciding to place it in my hands personally. The mortal book I got from my sister. The book my sister got from Judes sister.

I refuse to acknowledge it.

And yet, her name lingers on my fingertips as it lingers on the lands – even after she's gone.

☾ there was definitely more than one jude note, our man was feral for her

[otakusheep15]

Matchup for @thecurrator

So excited for our exchange! I've never done a sibling matchup, but since you're doing one for me, I thought I'd try my hand at one as well! (this got very long btw. hope that's okay!)

For your romantic matchup, I went with Vil! I think the two of you would get along well together, and I think a lot of your traits compare nicely with his.

For starters, he would think you daydreaming is cute. He would, naturally, make sure you're paying attention in class and important meetings, but besides that, he wouldn't mind too much. While Vil is no introvert, he does value his alone time, so he can empathize with you. He would also be down with listening to you ramble during quieter moments, such as when he's doing skincare after a long day. He may not always respond to everything you say, but he is listening and he will remember every detail. Speaking of which, Vil is a very good listener, meaning he's a good judge of character. He's excellent at reading people, so the two of you have that in common. A common hobbie for the both of you is standing off to the side of an event and judging everyone else in the room. (Also, he's associated with purple, so he's perfect on that level as well.)

Vil also quite values authenticity, creativity, and emotional intelligence, both in himself and others. These traits are especially vital to him considering the type of industry he works in. With so many fakers around him at every hour of the day, it's refreshing to have someone who values the same realness as him. While Vil is certainly empathetic to an extent, it doesn't define his character, nor does it dictate how he treats others. Just because he empathizes with someone does not mean he'll treat them any different than anyone else. That being said, he will give a little extra attention to those he cares about. He always considers your feelings, especially since you're quite sensitive. He always makes sure you're doing okay, and if you're having a hard time getting over a particular memory of getting hurt, he'll do his best to help you where he can.

Vil's giving love languages are gift giving and words of affirmation. Gift giving is obvious, as he has the money to provide you with whatever you want. Words of affirmation, however, are a bit more difficult to get out of him. He never sugarcoats his words, and getting a compliment out of him can be tricky. However, when he does give compliments or praise, you know his words are genuine. His receiving love languages are quality time and acts of service. With how busy he usually is, it's nice to just be able to relax with someone he loves without having to worry about work or school. Acts of service are also nice because he so often has to do everything himself, so when someone does something for him, it means a lot.

You and Vil also share hobbies. He doesn't get much time to read considering his schedule, but when he does have the time, he loves relaxing with a good book. He also regularly enjoys reading screenplays. Speaking of which, one of Vil's dreams is to write and direct his own movie, so he definitely does some practice writing on the side. Listening to music is something he does less frequently, but he does enjoy it from time to time. He also writes some of his own music as well.

Vil would be super into character analysis. He tends to dive quite deeply into the characters he plays, even for the smallest of roles. He would also absolutely take you shopping, as he knows all of the best stores for what you need. If you ever crochet anything for him, he would melt for sure. If it's wearable, he'll wear it whenever he can. Otherwise, it would sit on his desk so he can see it whenever he's in his room. Since you love pretty scenery, many of your dates would involve going somewhere with a good view, such as a boardwalk at sunset or a secluded part of a flowery garden.

Vil does exercise on the regular, but he would never force you to join him. Of course, he encourages you to stay healthy, as physical and mental health are very important to him, but he would never make you do something you don't want to. Vil is also very smart, so he would do his best to make studying more enjoyable for you. He definitely encourages studying, even for the boring or unlikable subjects, but he at least wants you to enjoy it. While he is famous, Vil would never make you go out in public with him. He's famous, so of course he regularly has to deal with fans and paparazzi. He would never make you go out with him since he knows they would likely bother you. But, if you did go out with him, he would protect you from them. He's good at keeping you with plans. if anything changes, he'd let you know as soon as possible, and he'd make sure you're always comfortable. If you ever want to back out of something due to it changing last minute, he would understand.

As for your sibling matchup, I'd match you with Ace. The two of you have very similar energies, with the only difference being that Ace is a bit more extraverted. Still, I think the two of you would be a good sibling duo. I could see the two of you emerging from your rooms to bother each other for a few minutes before retreating to continue your own thing. For the most part, y'all would stay out of each other's way without much trouble. Fights tend to be over small things, like taking out the trash or washing dishes. Ace is pretty laid back for the most part, so real fights don't happen often, and when they do, they're resolved fairly quickly. Overall, very chill, normal sibling dynamic. Or, I assume, at least, as I have no sibling dynamic to compare this to.

Rules for matchups

[bonesandthebees]

I just rounded off my period so a massive L to all of you I suppose /lhj

I'm in so much pain about the Wilbur situation in general and have so many mixed feelings. Like I've only just got a chance to sit down and read his 'apology' and all of the replies from content creators and (ex)fans alike. I was so close to throwing up that I had to close the tab /gen.

I've never really watched Shubble content, nor have I had a chance to watch her full vod on the issue, so my first instinct was to be a good little media sieve and try to be open-minded before making an opinion. I won't lie, I was trying very hard to convince myself that it wasn't Wilbur and everyone was jumping to conclusions (though the more I read made that less and less likely).

I was worried for Wilbur's group (tommy, phil, charlie etc) because there was no way they could stream without being harassed by it, and worried partially for Wilbur as well because of various mental health problems that he's admitted to in the past.

Now that he's responded, though, everything's so much worse. As someone who struggled with being on the victim side of abuse for a while, I feel awful for Shelby and everything that happened to her.

Charlie, Ranboo, Tubbo etc have all responded (most very passionately so I have no doubt where they stand), so that's good for them, but tommy and phil have yet to. I can't help but wonder if Techno knew, if it had even started by then or if Wilbur didn't tell him.

I've seen people making reasonable assumptions about signs in past content that may have pointed to Wilbur's abuse, but there are some people making reaches that don't even make sense and now I can barely consume content or even remember videos that i used to be fond of without worrying that it was just Wilbur manipulating people.

Also, as far as I'm aware, none of lovejoy have replied to the situation (apart from the ex trumpeter), so ash, mark and joe are getting hate when they haven't done anything (though I may have just not seen it yet).

Some part of my brain is convinced this is all some horrible nightmare and I'll wake up able to laugh and joke about SBI content with my friends, even if I know that'll likely never happen again.

If there's one thing for certain, it's that his response was not an apology. I do believe that he thought long and hard about it (even if it was just for superficial PR reasons) and maybe ran it by people he trusted, but it was not what he should have said in response to Shelby coming forward about his abuse. All he's done is dig a bigger hole and now thousands of his (ex)supporters have to live with the consequences of his actions.

Honestly, I just feel sad. Sad that it happened, sad that Wilbur isn't who I thought he was and sad that my life will be drastically different from here on out.

Sorry that that was so heavy. I just feel really confused and there's a pit in my stomach that's churning horribly.

-🌺 <3

oh of course SOMEONE just had to finish their period right when the rest of us get it smh /lh

yeah, this is such a horrible situation overall. for me at least his response made the situation somewhat more tolerable because it felt like a closure moment. it made me realize, oh, he was really awful the entire time and this shit apology proves it. however, I'm sure in a few days the reality will hit me and I'll feel awful again. it's not fun realizing someone you admired and were a fan of for so long was a completely different kind of person than the guy he presented himself as.

I don't know where you heard that charlie responded, because as far as I'm aware he has not said anything anywhere about this situation yet.

I also don't think it's very worthwhile for people to be combing through old vods and videos for 'questionable moments' they can point at and be like "look he was abusive the whole time!" because we don't know what's going on in cc's personal lives. more than anything that should be the take away here. we don't know these people, we don't know their personal relationships, we shouldn't be trying to pinpoint every questionable moment and prove something with it because we're not in these personal relationships with wilbur. the other cc's are. basically, don't overthink what you see in old vods or old videos. it's not going to help whatsoever and it's none of our business.

I've also had the thought that this feels like a nightmare I could wake up from. I've had that thought every day since shelby's stream first happened. but unfortunately that's not the case, and we need to focus instead on supporting the victims here

I'm sorry there's not much I can say to help. just try to take care of yourself. give yourself time. it'll get a bit easier with each passing day.