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#norris is just out here looking for dead men's shoes
rosepompadour · 2 years
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anne boleyn and thomas wyatt, tarnish by katherine longshore He kisses me with the deep desperation of a drowning man. This kiss is a song of longing. "I love you," I whisper when he kisses my throat. I cannot say it loud enough for him to hear.
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vivwritesfics · 2 months
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Set The World On Fire
Chapter One
Lando Norris had been incredibly angry when they met. Incredibly angry, but sweet enough to help her. Turns out he just needed somebody to talk to, somebody to be there for him.
He was easy to fall for, and that put her in a world of danger
Mafia AU
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PLEASE READ!!: While this story is a part of the NNTA universe, the reader is no longer Lando's sister. To not spoil how people read NNTA, Lando's sister will not be given a name in this story. She will be referred to, but only as his sister (because it's very key for the plot)
They went on three dates before she worked out who he was. He was attractive, sure, but there wasn't much else to him. On the third date, she worked out what a waste of space he was.
The first instance was when she wolf whistled a waitress. It was disgusting, she was disgusted, and the waitress was definitely going to spit in their food. But she stuck it out, making a promise to herself that she wasn't going to call him after that date.
"Well," she said somewhat awkwardly after they had paid their bill, splitting it down the middle (he definitely had more drinks and the more expensive meal, but whatever. If she had to pay more than she owed to get away from him, then so be it). "Are you still okay to drive me home?"
"Sure thing, babe," he said as they walked across the car park, heading towards his shitbox of a car.
She scrunched up her face at that. Why did he have to call her babe? She wasn't anything to him and she never would be.
He got into his car and started his engine. For a moment she thought he was going to drive away without her, leave her stranded at the restaurant.
She quickly got into the car, kept her small back on her lap as he sped away. Everything was a blur, to the point where she couldn't tell which way they were going.
Turns out, it was the wrong way. The car stopped outside of a building with bright, neon lights. It was near blinding, and it definitely wasn't where she lived. "What the fuck," she couldn't stop herself from saying. "Why are we at a strip club?"
"Relax, baby." There was that word again. "Just come in with me. I'll by you a drink and then I'll take you home."
Yeah, she wasn't moving from the car. Anger simmered just bellow her skin as she fished through her bag and pulled out her phone. The phone she was sure she had charged before she left the house. So why the fuck was it dead?
She was at her wits end. "Well, you can stay here if you want," her date said. "But, uh, make sure you keep the car door locked."
It was the way he said it that had her climbing out of the car with him. She kept a tight hold of her bag as she followed him into the nearly empty club. It would be nearly empty, it was 7pm on a Thursday.
As soon as they were into the strip club, her date made a beeline for the bar. She followed him, out of necessity. After getting himself a drink, he sat himself in front of the stage.
Looking a little like a lost dog, she followed him to the stage. This was his regular spot, this much was clear by the way he greeted the other men around him. "The big boss is here," One of the men said to him. He nodded and looked back of his date, but she didn't hear it.
He smirked. How was the big boss going to act now that there was a woman in the club, one that wasn't working for him. He was known for being an asshole and abrupt when talking to people in his club. Lets just say, nobody stuck around for his friendly demeaner.
Whether the pair could feel the bosses eyes on them or not, he was watching. He sipped his whisky from his private booth at the back of the club as he watched.
She wasn't comfortable, that was for sure. She looked so uncomfortable sat in front of the stage, her eyes fixated on her shoes. She didn't once glance at the girls on the stage.
Lando felt so fucking sorry for her.
But he sat back and watched for just a few minutes more. Maybe they were just stopping in on their way to do something else. He didn't take his eyes off of her though.
They weren't going anywhere. After a good twenty minutes they hadn't moved, and she still looked uncomfortable.
Lando put his almost finished whisky down onto his table and stood up. Nobody would touch it if he left it there, he knew. Not if they wanted to keep their lives. He ran his fingers through his curls, shoved his hands into his pockets, and strode over.
The men sat around her were looking around at the others girls spread around the club. When they spotted Lando they visibly stiffened up and turned back around, facing the stage in front of them.
Lando was noticeably calm as he walked over, something they weren't used to. Normally, when Lando was walking over, it was to throw somebody out of his club. Normally, when Lando walked over, he was visibly angry.
But not this time. People moved their legs out of his way so that Lando could get past them, get to the girl sat in the middle of his club. Nobody looked at him as he tapped the girl on her shoulder.
"Excuse me," he said and she turned towards him, looking up at him. Unlike everybody else in the club, she didn't look terrified of him. "Can I help you, Darling?" He asked, although he didn't quite pronounce the 'g'.
He was... wow. Dressed in a black suit with the top few buttons of his white shirt opened, his blue eyes staring into her own. His skin was naturally tanned and his hair in dark curls. He was gorgeous. Once she saw him, it was impossible to look away from him.
"I don't work here." Why the fuck did she just say that? She hadn't meant to say that, but she couldn't stop herself. If this man was after a lap dance, she couldn't help him out.
Lando chuckled as he shook his head. But it wasn't a proper chuckle, one designed to make her feel foolish. "I asked if I can help you. Are you okay?"
She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm just waiting to be taken home."
Again, that wasn't what Lando asked. But he didn't push on the matter. Instead, he offered her his hand. "Come with me to the back office and I'll call you a cab," he said.
She didn't know anything about this man. He didn't look old enough to be the club owner, but he certainly looked rich enough to own a club. There wasn't a lot to lose at this point, she realised as she took his hand and stood up. And, if he ended up being a creep, she could always just kick him where the sun doesn't shine and make a run for it.
In the back office of the club, he offered Y/N some water. She accepted the bottle (which had never been opened) and sat on the couch opposite his desk.
She watched as he called up a cab and gave the company the address. As soon as he had confirmation, he put the phone down and looked across the desk, looking at her. "Bad date?" He guessed.
"Bad date," she answered. He kept looking at her as he came around to lean against his desk. So, she continued speaking. "I wasn't going to call him again after tonight, and I think he knew that," she muttered, resting her back against the couch cushions.
"I don't think I've been on a date in years," he said and laughed to himself. But, again, it wasn't a genuine laugh.
That was when she properly looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles beneath them. His knuckled were bruised and bloody, as though he had been punching at walls. "Hey," she said as she put her bottle of water down. "Are you okay?"
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Didn't get close. "Just life," he answered simply. But she kept looking at him, the way she moved her head towards him urging him on. "Do you really wanna hear my problems?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just a stranger in a strip club with nothing better to do but wait. Of course I want to hear your problems."
So, Lando told her. He told her all about the arranged marriage between his sister and another man, something set up by his parents. He told her that his step mother was dead and his father was close, and there was no way to get out of it. He didn't tell her who his family was, what they did, of course. The pretty stranger in his club didn't need to know that.
When he was finished, she let out a low whistle. "That was... heavy. Do you even know the guy?"
He let out a dry laugh. "Yeah," he answered. "Yeah, we know him." But he didn't elaborate.
Suddenly his phone rang on his desk. He twisted his body, picked it up and placed it against his ear. His conversation was quick, just a few words exchanged between both parties. "That was your cab," he said to her. "They're outside."
Picking up her bag and the bottle of water, she walked out of the back office. He had his hand on the small of her back as he gently pushed her through the club, towards the doors.
Just as he had said, the cab was outside. He pulled open the door for her, holding her bag as she climbed in. "Thank you," she said before he shut the door.
He smiled, but this one seemed a little more genuine. He didn't shut the car door right away, instead leaning forward. "If you ever find yourself in need of company late at night, this door is always open," he said as he pointed his thumb back towards the club.
She looked past him, looking at the club. "Will you be there?" She asked, looking at him through her lashes.
He said something quickly to the cab driver and reached inside of his suit jacket, reaching into the inside pocket. He quickly pulled out a small white card and placed it into her hand.
"Call this number first and I definitely will be," he said and went to shut the door.
But she stopped him. "Who am I asking for?"
"Lando."
The car drove off, driving away from the club. She kept looking back at the club, looking back at the handsome man shrouded in neon. He stayed standing outside of the club, watching the car, until it turned the corner and disappeared.
Soft music filled the car. Y/N kept her head against the window as she told the driver her address as he took her home. He didn't try to make conversation, which she was grateful for.
When he stopped outside of her home she climbed out of the car and fished around in her bag for some money. But the cab driver held up his hand. "It's already been taken care of, Ma'am," he said.
"Really?" Y/N asked. How could a strangers kindness stretch this far?
The cab driver nodded his head. "Mr Norris must really like you."
Mr Norris.
Who the fuck was Mr Norris?
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Lifeguard on Duty
Summary: Warren was supposed to be looking for a summer job but when he sees you on the beach he decides to become a lifeguard. And hopefully confess his feelings for you
Word count: 2,376
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Warren and Spencer were sitting at the lifeguard station spending lunch together. Warren had his legs kicked up in the small desk and Spencer leaned against the back wall, taking a deep breath of the shared joint. He was messing with the life preservers that lined the wall, he exhaled the smoke before passing it to Warren, moving to lean on the desk, staring out at the crowded beach. “Warren, why did you even take this job?”
“Cause I like the ocean.” Warren hummed, inhaling deeply and letting his eyes flutter shut. He wasn’t really supposed to be smoking up here but he was the only lifeguard on duty today. So goody two shoes Lance Norris, the posterboy for lifeguards couldnt rat him out. He flicked the rolled up stub out the window, watching as it sizzled out in the sand below. He stood up, exiting the booth and Spencer followed him. “Plus the view isn't bad.” Warren looked out on the women sunbathing in skimpy bikinis and the men swimming in insanely tight speedos
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Pervert.” Warren winked at him, turning back to face the beach crowd.
Warren wouldn't admit it but there was another reason he had taken the job. You. His dad had been hounding him to take a summer job so he had been out on the boardwalk picking up applications. He was planning on lying and saying he had gotten a job and then blowing all summer with Spencer but then he had seen you. He had stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you, he watched as you took the ramp down to the beach and made a beeline for the lifeguard station.
You greeted them with a wide smile and passed up a basket filled with lunch for the two lifeguards on duty. He felt himself smile as he took you in, watching as you made polite conversation with your friend before sitting down on the beach, a book in hand. Warren came to the boardwalk for a week after that to see if you’d return. And sure enough you came everyday to sit in the same spot and read. Watching the waves roll in before leaving a couple hours later. And every friday you brought lunch up to the lifeguard station, there were other days when you bought snacks for them. He figured out that you brought lunch on Fridays because your friend Mary had a shift that day, so you would bring something for her and her coworker.
So Warren applied and got in after passing the entrance exam and acing the physical. It wasn't too hard considering he used to do sports and much to the disapy of Lance, the head lifeguard, he made the force. He even had the dumb luck of working on the friday shift with your friend Mary. He was really nervous to talk to you and spend his first few shifts hiding away when you came to see your friend. But after a while Mary had had enough of his endless questions about you and introduced you both. He had nearly died when you said his hair looked pretty in the afternoon sun.
After that he tried to talk to you when he could. Making small conversation here and there and asking a million questions, but you didn’t mind. Answering every one and asking some of your own. After a few weeks he developed a friendship with you, though he wanted more. He had wanted more since the moment he had seen you if he was being honest.
He loved your beautiful (y/s/c) skin that soaked up the sun and the way your (y/h/c) shinned and blew in the wind. He loved listening to you talk about your latest book and even tried reading some of them so he could talk to you about them. Though he preferred to hear you talk about them instead.
But he was too much of a coward to voice his feelings so instead he hoped you would catch on, maybe take note of his flirting and longing looks for more. But it seemed you thought of him as just a friend. So he let the summer slip away, there were only a couple weeks left and still he was too nervous to confess. Wondering what would happen when summer ended.
Unknown to him you had developed quite a crush on the curly haired lifeguard. Even bringing him lunch when Mary wasn't there and slipping in little treats here and there. You walked down the beach, your wicker basket in hand, Warren saw you coming and leaned over the rail to the point where you thought he was going to fall over. His loose Hawaiian shirt fluttering around him, open exposing his suntanned chest to you. He whistled at you, making you laugh. “Hey, pretty thing.” He called out, as you got closer you could see him smirking at you from his perch.
“Hey you.”
He lowered his sunglasses giving you a coy wink. “What’s for lunch today?” He asked, reaching down to take the basket from your outstretched hands.
“Turkey club with a side of chips and a slice of cake for dessert.”
He licked his lips, rubbing a hand over his stomach. “You’re too good to me honey.”
You giggled, flushing at his pet name. “I know.” You both smiled at one another, so invested in your own little world you didn't even notice someone else was there until Spencer cleared his throat. You turned to look at him, breaking away from Warren who let out a groan at the loss of attention. “I’m sorry, I didn't see you there. I’m (y/n).”
“I’m Spencer.” He gave you a small wave and you returned it.
“It’s nice to meet you Spencer.” You both exchanged polite smiles. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were going to be visiting Warren for lunch. If I had I would have brought lunch for you too.”
Spencer opened his mouth to reply but Warren cut him off. “Don’t worry about him babe he was just leaving.”
“I wasn’t-”
Warren shot him a pointed look with a tight smile. “Just leaving.”
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I get it.” Spencer shoved his hands into his pockets and pushed past Warren to go down the steps to the beach.
“I’ll see you later man.” Warren called out to Spencer's retreating form.
“Whatever.” He replied.
“He seems nice.” You said, shielding the sun from your face with your hand as you watched Spencer walk away. “Kinda cute too.”
Warren scoffed “Not cuter than me I hope.”
You smiled, crinkling your face up at him. “Maybe.”
Warren held his hand up to his chest faking hurt, as if your words had physically wounded him. “You’ve wounded me babe.”
You just laughed. “Well anyway I better let you eat lunch, I’ll see you around Warren.” You moved to leave.
“Wait!” Warren’s voice made you turn back around. He cleared his throat, lowering his voice back to its normal level. “Would you maybe wanna eat lunch with me?”
“But I only packed lunch for you.”
“I’m not that hungry ,anyway, I had a big breakfast. Maybe we could split it.” He gave you a nervous smile.
You pursed your lips, pretending to think over his offer. Warren was watching your every movement, waiting for your answer. “Alright.”
Warren’s face split open in a wide smile, he helped you up the steps and made a big show of pulling out his only chair for you. As you turned away from him he quickly shoved his trash out of view, kicking discarded candy wrappers into the corner and covering them with a bucket. “Wow, you really do have the best seat in the house.” You mused, taking in the waves and the way the sun bounced off the water.
Warren leaned against the counter, his back to the ocean, his eyes trained on you alone. “I really do.”
Talking with Warren was alway made time fly. He was so passionate about his interests that you could listen to him talk for hours on end. And he could say the same, he loved watching the way you talked with your hands and the way you talked faster when you were excited about something. Lunch had been finished long ago and the sun was already starting to set on the horizon.
“I’ve noticed you’ve never gone swimming.” Warren blurted suddenly. His eyes widened when he realized his statement could come off as rude and he quickly tried to take it back.
“No it’s okay.” You laughed. “I just never learned how.” Warren started at you with his mouth hanging open. “What?”
“You never learned how to swim.” He asked, a smirk twitching at the corner of his lips.
“I know I know.” You looked out at the ocean. “I always wanted to though.”
“Why don’t you let me teach you?” Warren proposed. “I’m a pretty good swimmer if I do say so myself.”
“Is that so?”
“I mean that’s what my lifeguard certification says.” He pointed at the hanging frame. A picture of warren hanging next to a sign that said certified lifeguard, and underneath in black sharpie, and an excellent swimmer.
You giggled. “Very impressive.”
“Seriously let’s go for a swim.”
“Aren’t you on duty Mr. Certified lifeguard?”
“Yeah but there no one here.” You looked out at the beach and Warren was right. The beach was basically empty, everybody leaving for home as soon as the sun had begun to set. “Come on, you know you want to.” Warren poked at your side playfully. “Come on, come on…” Warren poked you with every come on until you swatted his hand away with a laugh
“Alright fine!”
“Yes!” Warren took your hand and dragged you down the steps, tossing his Hawaiian shift over his shoulder to hand on the wooden handle of the lifeguard station. You both got to the edge of the water, the waves tickling your feet.
“I don’t have a swimsuit.”
“You don’t need one.” Warren wiggled his eyebrows suggestively making you rolled your eyes and hit his chest. You blushed as you undressed, nervous at how he would perceive you. But when you turned to face him his eyes were wide with wonder taking all of you in. “You’re beautiful.” He whispered, more to himself than to you.
You blushed, pulling him into the water. “Let’s swim already.” He laughed taking hold of your hand. He squeezed it as he felt you tense, the water now up to your waist. He tried to lead you further but you stopped, feet digging into the sand. He moved closer to you, putting your arms around his shoulders. “I got you.” You let him pull you further out, your feet leaving the ground as you both ventured deeper.
Warren tread through the water, his arms moving you both as you clinged onto him for dear life. Your eyes were squeezed shut, afraid that if you opened them you’d panic and struggle against his hold. Your legs were tangled with his, trying to imitate his movements. After a while you opened your eyes, Warren starring at you with a soft smile. You returned it, letting your head fall onto his shoulder, completely at peace in his arms,
“(Y/n)?” Warren asked, wetting his chapped lips. You hummed against his shoulder in response, encouraging him to continue. His heart was thumping in his chest but he knew if he didn’t say anything now he’d let the rest of the summer slip away. He took a deep breath,“I like you.” He blurted it out all at once, almost too jumbled for you to make out. But you heard it, head snapping up to meet his gaze. He watched your face for a reaction, but you just tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him close. Warren’s eyes widened as his lips collided with yours, melting into your touch. Your lips still tasted like the chocolate cake from lunch, and it made the kiss that much sweeter.
When you pulled away you rested your forehead against his, breathing in his summery scent. “Does that mean you like me too?” Warren asked in an unsure voice.
“Of course I do you idiot.” You leaned your lead back to look at him clearly. “I’ve liked you since I first laid eyes on you.”
“Ditto.”
You rolled your eyes. “How romantic of you Warren.”
“Come on.” Warren mused, his lips brushing yours. “You know you love it.”
“Shut up.”
“Make me.” You pulled him close again, your lips molding perfectly into his. Your fear of swimming melting away as you floated in the water with him, knowing that the rest of the summer would be spent like this. In his arms under the soft glow of the summer sun.
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simpracha · 4 years
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Safe With Me- Bloodsinger (A.I.)
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Part One
Summary: Jada Norris finds herself needing help from a superhuman vampire hunter, Ashton Irwin, after one fateful night where she almost becomes puppy chow for the leeches.
Warnings: a horror theme. Cursing, assault, blood mentions, drug mentions, no smut yet, Ashton exclusively wearing leather, weapons
Word count: 5K and edited! look at me doing the extra mile.
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“You sure are a pretty little thing to be walking around by yourself at night,” a deep, chilling voice spoke as I passed the empty alleyway. I turned quickly to the sound of it, the wind rushing in my ears before seeing nothing in the shadows of the alley but the dark figure of the dumpster and the small night light of the building.
A chill shot up my spine from the sudden movement, my melanin skin raising from the goosebumps. I quickly closed my mouth, scared to catch flies, or moths, rather, before shaking the fear off, quickly assuming it was my own imagination to hear that voice before continuing my walk home. I really had to stop hanging with my friends so late, it was starting to get to me.
The cool night air was rushing past my ears, forcing me to pull my hood farther up, keeping the grip on my pepper spray and keys even tighter. I was sure little moons were forming on my palms from how hard I was clenching my hands into fists. Just one more block and you’re home free. Just get it together, girl.
“I love the way you walk,” the same voice whispered and it took everything in me not to freeze up on the spot. Instead, I walked faster, nearly breaking into a sprint. Just one more block, just one more block, just one more block.
“Run faster, run faster,” the voice said again, their chilliness starting to get to me. I froze up the second I heard that same voice had an undeniably masculine chuckle. I screamed. Someone was definitely fucking with me.
“Stay the fuck away from me, whoever you are. I have pepper spray!” I said, brandishing the small spray bottle as if it was a gun. Fuck, maybe I should have bought a gun.
“Like a pepper spray bottle could stop me, sweetheart,” I turned quickly to where the voice was coming from, quick to move the trigger on the bottle and begin to spray in that direction. Whoever it was immediately fell out of the pepper’s steady stream.
“What the actual fuck?” a tall man with the scrawniest body I’d ever seen and nearly transparent skin was suddenly visible beside me on the ground, clutching his face as I continued spraying the concoction at him. I screamed and continued spraying, not caring if I emptied the bottle at all.
I only stopped spraying once I was sure I riddled him un-moving with the pepper seeping into his pores and kicked him in the dick, glad I was in my boots so I knew it hurt, before taking off running home. 
The only sound I heard for a while was my own breathing and my feet pounding against the sidewalk. I had to keep telling myself, a few more feet than you can cry. A few more feet than you can let the panic take over. A few more feet. A few more feet, Jada. Just keep picking up your feet. Pick your feet up.
I busted into my apartment quickly, my keys were already out and I was inside with no problem, quickly locking the door, setting all my deadbolts on and throwing a chair right under the door. I quickly checked all my windows, closed any open ones and covered them with the curtains. Then I turned on my calm music playlist, drank a glass of water and started choking up my sobs.
It’s okay, Jada, you’re safe now, I told myself as I braced myself against the counter.
“I usually don’t like working for my snacks,” I heard the voice again and before I knew it, I was throwing the glass  full of water at the voice.
The same pale man from before was in front of me. Now covered in glass, soaking wet, and looking perfectly fine, as if I didn’t just empty my can of pepper spray on him. His hair was jet black and gelled back from his scalp with one curl hanging in front of his pale, boney face. I got a chance to look at his eyes, a toxic amber color with a mean, intense hunger being the only thing portrayed. His lips are a bloody red color and curled into a smirk that once he noticed I was looking quickly went into a snarl, exposing pearly white elongated canines that I’ve never seen on a human before. They were nothing like the cosmetic teeth grills the alternative kids at my college used to get.
“What are you doing in my house? How’d you get in here?” I moved to grab a knife from the kitchen counter and he was inhumanely fast on my track, quickly pinning me down against the counter, his body easily overpowering me and capturing my wrists in his large hands. The knife clattered to the kitchen floor. I looked down at it and back at him in fear before he also pinned his knees against my thighs, not giving me room to move those either. He looked down at me with that hungry smirk again and smiled, only this smile held nothing nice about it and only made my hair prickle and stand on end.
“They say when your food fights you, it makes it just a bit more tender,” he whispered into my ear these words and my skin crawled at the sound. I was close to revulsion. Even close to nausea as I felt his tongue flick on my neck, causing me to quickly hiccup trying not to cry. Was he tasting me?
“Please, please leave me alone.” I whimpered, whining now. Something I never did in my life was beg a man for anything before but here I was really wishing this man, this thing, this cannibal, whatever this fucker was would just leave my house.
“And why should I, pet?” he leaned in more, I heard him sniffing my skin, “You’re blood smells so sweet...so delicious. It would be a shame to just drain you and leave you for the dead. Maybe I should keep you as my servant.”
Now that made my blood grow cold. Blood smelling sweet? Drain me? Dead? Did this man think he was a vampire? Did he not know that didn’t exist? Please don’t tell me he’s like an escaped patient from the out of town institution. I was so scared at this point I needed to put reason into anything. Make something substantial out of whatever this man was saying because none of it was making any shred of sense.
The man started to chuckle, low and deep. I heard his chuckle against my chest, practically causing a vibration through my whole body. I looked up at the terrifying man in pure distraught and he continued laughing before speaking, “There’s a lot to the world you don’t know, child. Just because you think it doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean it’s true. Some monsters are really out there, roaming your streets at night and you’ll never know because you’re too small minded to even think farther to what you can see. Crazy, isn’t it? The world you thought you knew just got a little bigger and you won’t even process it because, if you’re lucky, in the next five minutes, you’ll be dead.”
The sob caught in my throat then, causing me to cry out, “Please, please don’t kill me.”
“Hmmm,” the man pretended to think about it, “No.”
Then his mouth was opening, wider and more grotesque than I’d ever seen, his jaw practically unhinging with the movement, or was it double-jointed? I couldn’t tell because the second I saw it, a scream that was building took over and ripped through my entire body. I was able to see every inch of his mouth and before I knew it, it was moving towards my neck. All I saw was his mouth’s blood red ridges and I swore I could see down his throat and into the never-ending pit he seemed to be.
“Get the fuck away from her, leech,” a voice spoke from nowhere and I turned to it, cutting off my scream to see the most beautiful person I’d ever seen standing there, brandishing a crossbow of pure silver, fully cocked and ready. The most perfect part of all was that this crossbow was trained on the monster in front of me.
The monster quickly dropped me to the ground and turned to the crossbow man, giving me the opportunity to crawl away and into the pantry since these men were blocking my front door. I grabbed the knife that fell on the floor on my way, my wrists screaming from the movement. I crawled in and was able to still peek out to watch the two intruders.
“Ashton Irwin. I’ve heard all about you. And your hunter mother. Shame what happened to her, isn’t it?” the monster spoke, his words cut like knives through the air as he seemed to grow taller and his jaw remained unhinged and hanging down, his mouth a pure scarlet red that convinced me the whole vampire thing more and more. It was just nothing like Twilight. Nothing like it, at all.
“Shut up, leech,” Ashton, I guess his name was, spoke, his voice deep and unwavering. He wasn’t scared of this thing, not even in the slightest bit. The monster, however, seemed more than irritated that Ashton ruined his meal but I couldn’t be happier.
I heard the bow before I saw it. It was a suctioning, soft noise, almost barely recognizable and it sounded the same as when you close a refrigerator. The crossbow was silent as it let out the arrow, the shiny silver coated thing, with a clear liquid dripping off of it into the monster. The leech, as Ashton called it, cried out as the arrow tore into his mouth with perfect aim. Ashton’s aim was stunning, ripping through his mouth and splitting his head apart with just one coated arrow.
The scream the creature let out was one of bloodcurdling pain. That was how it died, half a head left, just a bottom jaw and body, the other part of his head rolling across my kitchen floor. Say goodbye to my security deposit, huh? His blood squirted out from where the rest of his jaw was, a gooey black that was just unnatural to exist in nature, almost the same consistency of tar. 
I watched it coat Ashton Irwin’s shoes and he rolled his eyes, “Dang, I just got these shits washed too.”
I watched him take account of the mess in my kitchen that he and his bloodsucking friend made and then pull out a slim black phone, pressing some buttons before his phone rang. I was only able to hear his part of the conversation, “Hey...yeah...I sent you the clean up address. One survivor, taking them back for debriefing and cleaning.”
From where I was, I was able to finally get a good look at him. He was tall, made to look strong and sturdy, and had gorgeous, tanned skin. His hair was curly and I could tell he tried to keep his curls gelled back and out of his face. I caught a glimpse of pretty hazel eyes, wide and unassuming. His lips were a pretty pink color and I could tell when he smiled it was probably the prettiest thing the world has seen. He was dressed fully in leather body armor with multiple hostlers with many weapons. His black boots were covered in the gooey, blood substance but through it I could tell they were probably steel toe.
He hung up and turned his head in the direction of where I was hiding. It’s then when he finally relaxed, “Hey, you can come out now. That vampire is as good as dead now. Plus, you’re safe with me.”
“Am I?” I said suddenly, practically scaring myself and this was a lot to take in and this man, some man I’ve never seen before just comes to my rescue from a monster that I didn’t even know existed. My life has just been turned around upside down in one fucking hour and he wants me to thank I’ll be safe. He’s pretty but, god, is he dumb as hell.
I stood up and left the pantry, shaking the knife in my hand and holding it out to him, keeping a wide berth from this mysterious man. Come to my rescue all he wants but I still didn’t trust this man and considering with just one look at him compared to my own plus-size, fabulous self, I wouldn’t be able to trust him as far as I could throw him. Which wasn’t going to be much.
He was quick to set down his crossbow, letting it hang off the holster around his body, raising both his hands, “Hey, hey, hey. Look. I’m a friend. My name is Ashton Irwin. I know this may be a shock but there is a world you have never heard of before with creatures like him and more who tend to pray on those we call bloodsingers. Come with me and I can keep you safe. I promise.”
His words were sincere as well as his eyes, big puppy dog eyes that reminded me of ice green tea with lemon in the summer on hot days. But I was not stupid. I had to be tripping.
“I’m having an acid trip, aren’t I?” I asked him and his eyes widened more as I got closer, the knife still strong in my hold, “I was out with my friends, someone slipped something in my drink, and that man just tried to assault me and you saved me. Tell me I am not stepping across my kitchen to you right now and I don’t just so happen to be stepping in his brain and blood. Tell me that, Ashton Irwin. Tell me I just need to drink some water and rest and I’ll be fine.”
He just stared at me apologetically. I fucking lost it then, “Tell me this isn’t happening!”
“I’m so sorry, love,” Ashton said, coming closer, admirably risking the fact he didn’t know if I was going to stab him but moving to comfort me, “What’s your name?”
“Jada. Jada Norris,” I said, a sob threatening to choke me up, and I lowered my knife, “what is going on?”
“You’re what we call, a bloodsinger,” the man said with a small smile. It was comforting even though I knew it was more pitiful than anything, “Creatures, like that one, will constantly come for you, the longer you go without protection. I don’t know how you’ve gone this long without seeing one before but let me help you, keep you safe. Please, Jada Norris.”
“Drugs?” I said, holding my hand out so Ashton would stop coming closer, “That’s what this is, isn’t it? Some cult thing gone wrong and you’re going to tell me it’s monsters. You drank the Kool-Aid, huh?”
“Jada, this is serious,” my laugh came out humorless, “Please let me take you back with me, you’ll be safe.”
“Over my dead body!”
“It almost was!” Ashton yelled back before taking a small breath, I’m guessing to control his emotions, “You are being difficult, miss. Come with me. I’m not giving you a choice anymore.”
“You’re supposed to be a good guy and you won’t even give me consent?” I laughed, again with no hilarity in this situation. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was losing it because honestly, what the fuck was happening?
“I am a good guy, that’s undisputed,” Ashton rolled his eyes, seeming exasperated, “I just saved your life!”
“So you can kill me yourself most likely!” I yelled back and he groaned loudly, “Good guy, my ass. You should have let me die.”
“Do you enjoy being a pain in the ass?” Ashton retorted and I looked at him, incredulous, “Some leech was just about to drain me of all my blood. I think I am entitled to be a bit of a pain in the ass right now.”
Then, in the middle of our argument, a piercing scream full of pain and sorrow cut through the night, still strong enough to be heard even in the once peaceful sanctuary of my apartment.
“Come on. You’re not safe, Jada. Grab some things and let’s go,” Ashton held his hand out once again for me to take and this time I quickly took it.
“Oh wow. A scary scream did it for you?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“What’s up with this one, Ashton?” a voice said the second we entered some old hotel. Ashton was a scary driver on the road, completely terrifying to witness but it was at least better than dying at the hand of something with an unhinged jaw and a blood lust for certain girls.
I was able then to see the owner of the voice. A tall man with short blonde curly hair and decked out in full leather. He had multiple holsters, some seeming to hold nothing but tiny bottles and blades covered in carvings. His arms were exposed from the leather which allowed me to see that he was ripped as fuck and covered in black ink tattoos. He looked down at me, his brown eyes taking me in completely before looking uninterested and looking back at Ashton. Dang, excuse me.
“A leech cornered her in her own apartment after following her for three blocks. Needs debriefing and regulating most definitely,” Ashton said to the man and he nodded. Ashton turned to me, “Jada. This is Calum, a coworker of mine. He’s going to talk to you for a bit about what happened, then give you a suite to rest, wash, eat, whatever you need to feel safe. If you need anyone after that, just pick up the phone and call upfront. We’ll be there instantly. I will see you later.”
He clapped a hand on my shoulder reassuring me and then left me with the cold, beautiful friend of his, Calum. I looked up at him and he just looked back, blankly. He chewed the gum in his mouth slowly as he looked at me, his jaw working with the piece, causing me to have to stand there awkwardly under his piercing gaze. The out of nowhere, his face broke into the most adorable smile, “Sorry, I zoned out on your face for a second.”
Then he laughed, “I’m Calum. Calum Hood. Come with me, sweetheart. Follow, follow. There’s some food and water in this room here and we can talk about everything that happened.”
God, I swear this night was giving whiplash like hell.
My suite in the old hotel was simple. It was a king bed, the linen nicely tucked in, one dresser in the corner with a TV on top of it with two nightstands, both having multiple books I assumed I was able to peruse. There was a separate section with a kitchenette and a nice spacious bathroom and closet. Nice for something leech hunters used.
Once I was out of the shower, taking the grime and blood off of me, I found myself sinking into the floor at the foot of the bed and turning on a kids network. Something lighthearted to get my mind off of what the hell was happening. Which was so much. It was so simple two hours ago. Two hours ago I was doing nothing but playing Cards Against Humanity with my friends and laughing at dumb jokes while drinking sprites and eating whatever junk food my friend, Meredith, kept in her apartment that we laughed about because she hid it from her health nut fiance. Then, all of a sudden, I was being followed home by some scary creep who also happened to apparently be a bloodsucking vampire and some literal god among men had come to my rescue. Now I was in some swanky, obviously gentrified, old hotel trying to make some regularity to my night, which wasn’t going so well. So much was happening and here I am fucking watching Super Why and crying into my night shirt.
Two knocks were heard on my door ten minutes later and I was still sitting in my own tears and relearning words that end in -ight. I called out to the door, really scared and hopeful it wasn’t another leech coming to finish the job of the one who Ashton killed before, “Come in.”
The door opened up and there he was. My knight in shiny leather. Who even was this guy? He had a bag of take out in his hand and held it up to me, the smell of cilantro and jalapenos wafting from it.
His smile was coy and boyish as he lifted the bag, his other hand going to scratch the back of his head, “I figured you would need a pick me up after your crazy night so I went and got some comfort food.”
“I’m not hungry,” I don’t think I could stomach a bite of food at all right now, considering an hour ago I was almost puppy chow.
“Now, now, I won’t take no for an answer,” Ashton came in, going to the little table in the corner of the living room section of the suite and beginning to set the food and table, “When bad things happen, we must be careful not to lose a sense of routine, then we will lose our minds in the madness.”
I looked at him. He spoke some sense. Hell, he was right, I just didn’t want to agree and wallow in my sadness for as long as I could.
“I see you showered. Which is good. It’s a good way of taking care of yourself. Let’s try eating too,” he smiled and gestured for me to take a seat across from him, “Come on. It’s the best arroz con pollo from this taco truck. You have to try their ceviche.”
“Fine but your Spanish accent sucks,” I stood, my joints popping from how long I was stuck there and sat across from Ashton who quickly smiled and took a bite of his plate. It did smell and look good. It was crazy to think of myself as trying to eat when just a bit ago, I was about to be food.
“Don’t think of it as ‘how does this feel being eaten?’ Just survive for right now, Jada,” he said softly and I nodded, taking a bite and instantly moaning at the taste of the ceviche.
“Oh, this is heaven.”
“I’d say it’s better than sex.”
“You’re right. It is,” I said with a laugh and continued to eat the great Peruvian food.
“So, let’s talk about everyday leading up to yesterday. Who were you before today, Jada?”
“Um, easy,” I said with a small smile, “I just graduated college, working in a bank. Nothing special. I write on the side, hoping to someday publish.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear you’re going to have to quit your job,” Ashton said, as if it was nothing and he wasn’t just telling me to quit my livelihood, “Now, you’ll have time to write more. I take it you brought your laptop with you.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I sat my fork down and looked at this man who just looked at me as if he didn’t just drop a huge bomb, “You’re saying I can’t go back to work.”
“Who’s going to protect you at work?”
“I work in a bank. One of the safest, most guarded places,” he let out a laugh at that, before pushing a strand of that curly hair back that the gel didn’t seem to hold, “Yeah, because that will stop them finding you. You saw that thing got into your house even though you tried locking the door.”
“How did you get in my house?”
“I busted the door down, duh,” Ashton took another bite of his food, “Look. This is for your safety. When your blood sings, it is described as sounding like a kettle when you leave it on too long. They hear it for miles.”
I stopped and let him talk for a second, hoping he’ll start to make some sense, “When you’re here, you’re muted, the walls of this old hotel are coated in holy water daily and blessed by holy leaders of all religions and worships. When you’re with one of our hunters, we can protect you from anything. It’s what we were trained since birth to do. I promise you, Jada, this is the one way we can keep you safe.”
“You’re just a regular human like me?” 
The man in leather sighed. I wonder if he ever got hot in that get up, “Yes and no.”
“Meaning?”
“Well,” Ashton sat back and I could tell he was juggling with which words to say, “I am human, yes. But more along the lines of superhuman. With enhanced strength, height, senses, looks, obviously, haha.”
I rolled my eyes and he continued, “But I have the sight. I can see these creatures even before they show themselves. And being near me gives the ability of your singing blood to be muted to them.”
“Singing, huh?” I said and took a sip of the water he brought to me along with the Peruvian take out food, “I wonder what chair my blood is in.”
Oh god. Was I really getting that far into my freakout that I am just starting to joke about whatever?
“I also like mezzo-sopranos,” Ashton commented with a laugh. He smiled at me, sincerely. I liked the way he smiled, it taking over his whole face and seeming to warm my supposedly songful blood. His gaze was intense on me for a second as his eyes raked over my face, as if he was taking every piece of me in.
I chuckled softly and let him watch me for that second. Hell, when was the last time I flirted with a guy? And if I couldn’t flirt with a guy when my whole world was turning on its head, when could I?
“Well, thank you for saving me,” I thanked him for the first time since meeting him. And I meant it. If he didn’t come to me rescue, I’d be passing through some greasy vampire’s second intestine. And for that, I was grateful for the existence of this Ashton Irwin. His looks and sweet, sweet smile was just a huge added bonus.
“It’s my job,” Ashton said simply, trying to leave no room for discussing his heroic actions and I scoffed.
“Some people tend to be willingly bad at their job,” I looked him dead in the eyes and he captured my gaze instantly. There we were my brown eyes locked on his hazel eyes. Looking at them, I saw flecks of gold sparkling off of them in the dim lighting this hotel provided. I wish I brought a sketch pad because I could paint his eyes over and over again a billion times and never do any justice to how strikingly beautiful they were on his face. Was it like law that people who worked here had to be the most attractive citizens to walk the earth? If so, sign me the fuck up.
“Your eyes are really pretty,” Ashton said softly, “I’ve always loved brown eyes. They’re the prettiest things to me. So many shades of brown and you never see the same one twice.”
He stood up before I could process what he said and walked to the door, “Get some rest, Jada. I’ll get you for breakfast in the morning.”
The sound of the TV in the background filled the silent air he left. He didn’t leave angry or rushed but he left with questions and I think that is the most empty feeling. The ‘what if’ left behind.
I rolled my eyes at myself and cleaned up the food mess. What was I even thinking? Looking at this superhuman soldier in a romantic way. God, he probably only saw me as some helpless human who couldn’t figure her own shit out. Which is a fair assumption, considering the fact that my whole life was just turned on its head.
I went to the door mirror and took a look at myself. Those brown eyes Ashton was talking about were just full of worry. My hair was all over the place which in any other situation I would have been rushing to do something to my hair but I was so tired from these last couple hours I needed a break.  I was taller than most girls which I guess allowed me to get a better look into Ashton’s eyes, which I must say are the most gorgeous things ever. 
I looked at the clothes I was wearing early, now ruined. My favorite pair of jeans that somehow were the right fit which was so hard to find for a size 16 were now covered in the guts of some ‘leech’. 
Now I was officially upset. Do you know how hard it is to find a pair of jeans that you like that also make your ass look like the bomb dot com? And are comfy? It is near impossible, no matter what size you are. And now, my favorite jeans were ruined because some fugly ass, low rent, stinky breath monster with nothing better to do but follow me that long ass walk home and sneak into my apartment that I spent so FUCKING long designing and ruining my floors and for what? Try to eat me? See how that shit worked out for him, he’s now missing half a brain he barely had to begin with and I’m missing my comfortable ass bedsheets I got on sale!
I wonder if I can just ask to go home and they can spare a guard. Or maybe I can bring my things here to this suite and make it a cute little apartment for myself. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to try to leave and put myself in danger with things out there trying to kill me but at least I can try to make this situation work for me. 
And, hell, maybe I can convince a certain superhuman hunter to fall for me along the way.
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@galcalirwin​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​
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dillydedalus · 5 years
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august reading
minus my women in translation month reads, because i’m still working on the last one but want to include it... that wrap-up will come in a few days once i’m done with the last book. 
not all dead white men: classics and misogyny in the digital age, donna zuckerberg classicist donna zuckerberg (facebook dude’s sister!) talks about how the alt-right, pick-up artists, incels etc. use the classics to assert & justify their misogyny and racism & portray themselves as the inheritors/saviours of western civilisation etc. the main examples she looks at are stoicism, ovid’s ars amatoria, and ancient narratives about sexual violence, which were all really interesting, but i feel like this could have been expanded a lot. 3.5/5
magic for liars, sarah gailey fun & cool crime story about a murder at a secret magical school (school nurse cut in half in magical library!), answering the burning question of what would happen if petunia dursley became a somewhat dysfunctional PI & had to solve a magical murder at hogwarts, where lily is a teacher. 3/5
the lie tree, frances hardinge frances hardinge writes the kind of middle grade/YA books i wish i could have read between like 10-14, where the world is spooky and the girls are angry spiteful stubborn resourceful sneaky things. i loved a skinful of shadows and i loved the lie tree, where curious snake girl (not literally it’s not that kind of a book) has to investigate her scandal-hounded natural scientist father’s death by spreading lies on the miserable island he died on and literally feeding them to spooky science-defying tree - and faith is very good at lying, and very angry, and very much willing to drag the whole island down with her. read for spooky trees, fake ghosts, and victorian male natural scientists being dumb and sexist & victorian female (& thus secret) natural scientist being smart & awesome. 4.5/5
the dead ladies project: exiles, expats & ex-countries, jessa crispin i have been at turns in love & really annoyed with crispin’s 2012 essay on william james, berlin & her own mental breakdown (x) since uh..... 2012 - it says some really interesting things about berlin’s capital-i Image as the city for self-destructive broke & weird messes, it’s very quotable, while also being some of the most irritating Anglophone Expat in Berlin Bullshit ever concocted (’we have surprisingly affordable rents’ sure didn’t age well.....) and saying almost nothing about the actual city outside of the Expat Bubble (apparently every single person in berlin is here because they feel like a failure.... YALL SOME PEOPLE JUST LIVE HERE). this book, structured around crispin’s soul-searching trip around europe, with each city being discussed in connection with an artist/writer/artist’s wife/etc who lived there, opens with that essay and i’m still torn. the thing is, crispin is smart & well-read & occasionally capable of some interesting insight & good writing..... she is also at times utterly insufferable, ranting at length about how she despises women who perform learned helplessness & prioritise men over everything else only to turn around & do the same fucking thing over & over, incl. going on endlessly about her torturous affair with a married writer, performing her ‘broke but independent woman traveller’ while uh.... staying at a friend’s luxurious farmhouse in switzerland for free... at one point she says she never felt at home in kansas bc based on her looks people don’t believe she’s really from kansas & constantly ask her where she’s REALLY from because.... y’all.... while she’s a good-looking white woman she has an ANGULAR FACE. sure jan. there is so much cool stuff in here, and i wish crispin had kept some most of the personal stuff out of it. 2/5 
mansfield park, jane austen hmmmm... austen is always good but this feels like it’s maybe the one novel of hers that is most negatively affected by values dissonance in that its morality feels like it’s from an alien culture which considers a private theatre performance to be the very height of impropriety (aka regency england apparently); as a result, fanny, a passive, timid, neglected girl of strong convictions often comes across as a moralistic prig (i will make no excuses for edmund, who’s just a patronising sanctimonious prig outright). there’s a quiet sort of triumph in fanny’s integrity & conviction in the face of a literal campaign of harrassment from everyone in her life including the dude she’s in love with to marry a reforming (maybe) rake & i love her for that, but her triumph in returning to mansfield park elevated in the esteem of everyone there (except aunt norris who is delightfully vile) feels empty considering that these are the same people who previously neglected her. also edmund sucks. 3/5 #justice4marycrawford #mary/fannyOTP #alsoarewegonnatalkabouttheslavery #guessnot
fool’s quest (fitz & the fool #2), robin hobb the first one in this trilogy was pretty much slow-paced set-up and character development... this one is much better: there’s a lot going on & the character development feels much more organic & complex - fitz seems to have come down from Peak Dumbass a bit & i really liked how it developed shun (shine!!!) and lant, who felt really one-dimensionally awful last book. also there are so many moments when the farseer family really comes thru for fitz & i cried literally every single time. so yeah. this one’s great, can’t wait for the next one but i also really don’t want it to be over :/ 4/5
what matters in jane austen, john mullan fun little collection of essays looking at specific details and minutae and their meaning/importance in austen’s work - like, how old are the characters (incl. age differences), how do characters address each other, what do games do they play, what about the servants, etc. don’t expect deep litcrit but it’s fun. 2.5/5
dead mountain: the untold true story of the dyatlov pass incident, donnie eichar hello i’m fred & i am obsessed with mountaineering disasters. the dyatlov pass incident refers to a night in 1959 where 9 russian hikers died in the ural mountains after they left their tent half-dressed without shoes for ~mysterious reasons. it’s pretty creepy & theories about it run from ‘avalanche’ to ‘animal [yeti] attack’ to ‘aliens and/or soviet conspiracy theory’. eichar too is super obsessed w/ this mystery and even went to the ural mountains & the dyatlov pass to investigate, which sadly makes for the least interesting (and possibly the longest) part of this book (the other timelines are the dyatlov group hike & the investigations after their deaths). the ‘59 timelines are both interesting tho & provide a good look into how weird the whole thing is. i enjoyed this, but i wish he had cut the endless chapters of him investigating, which is mostly russians being like ‘idk man aliens/radioactivity/secret govt agents?’ and him hiking around in a lot of snow, neither of which really added to his theory or my enjoyment. 2/5
if beale street could talk, james baldwin baldwin’s prose is staggeringly brilliant as always. this is a story about a young black couple (tish, who is the narrator, and fonny) in the 70s who are planning to move together and marry when fonny is wrongly arrested for rape by a racist cop with a grudge; tish and her family try to get him out, especially once tish realises that she’s pregnant. tish is a great narrator, at the same time kind of naive and soft, and full of world-weary cynicism about white institutions and racism, and her narrative voice at times drifts in and out of other characters’ minds, which i found an interesting effect. as many baldwin’s novels this is full of rage & violence & tenderness & tiny sparks of hope. 4/5
lady susan, jane austen epistolary novella about a 35-year-old lady susan, a scheming, ruthless, not-so-grieving widow, who is trying to get her timid daughter frederica married to a buffoon. while staying with her sweetly clueless brother-in-law vernon and trying to win over his much more suspicious wife, she makes the wife’s brother reginald (lol) fall in love with her. a very different protag and story for austen & while the end can’t quite commit to either punishing susan very much or letting her triumph, it is a lot of fun. 3/5
on a sunbeam, tillie walden this is an absolutely beautiful (the colours!) graphic novel about a spaceship crew (the spaceship is a fish) who fly around & restore old space buildings. it’s also a story about a romance between two young girls at a boarding school (in space) and about found families and deep space and there’s not a single man in this, just women and elliot, who’s nonbinary. lovely, dreamy and completely gorgeous. want me a fish spaceship. 4/5
between birthday books and birthday giftcards i also acquired uh.... 12 new books??? which is INSANE. i’m not committing to a book buying ban but i should probably chill a lil in the next few months. 
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