#not focused on Nina today I don’t think

[romantichopelessly]

Shadow and Bone Season 2 Crow Plot Predictions:

Because I’m mentally unstable and NEED to know what the crows will be doing in season 2 even though it’s only three months away, I will be over analyzing the short teaser and few stills that we have to nail down a couple things I think the crows will be doing next season.

First. Hellgate Prison Break.

This one is pretty much agreed upon among the fandom. At the end of season 1, Matthias was sent to prison and Nina was joining the crows. Based on the books she’s going to start pestering Kaz about breaking out Matthias and based on what we’ve seen so far, I’m thinking it’s likely that this will be one of the bigger plot points for the crows this season.

Both of these shots are very likely from Matthias’s stint in prison. Judging by the crowd in the background of the second picture, this is probably even when we will see Matthias fight the wolves.

This still is also very obviously 5 crows preparing for or engaging in a heist, and I think it will be breaking out Matthias. Honestly if they didn’t reconnect with Matthias, scenes of him in the show would be pretty redundant.

Next! I’m about to get real detailed here

I believe that these two shots, the first from the teaser, and the second a still dropped today, are connected.

Automatically, you can see in the background of both the DeKapple that we see in Kaz’s office in season one, and that book fans know he stole from Jan Van Eck.

I am focused on the differences in these two pictures. In the first, the wall looks smooth, in the second, damaged. In the first photo the painting is in a frame, in the second it is not. I brightened the first image so that you could also see how different the distance between the mantle and the painting is. It’s hard to tell, but I also think that the lanterns on the walls are different.

In the teaser, and the first photo here, we see Kaz flip out a knife in front of the painting.

I think that that scene will be a flashback to Kaz stealing the painting from the Van Eck mansion. He’s going to cut the painting out of its frame and steal it.

I believe the second picture is when he and Inej take the painting back to his office and hang it (sans frame), and he gives her his knife. Maybe this is even one of their first jobs together?

I think including these flashbacks will be how they also introduce Wylan’s character. He’ll be introduced as Hendriks, but that’s how they’ll get the audience to know Van Eck, since I don’t think he will ask them to go to the Ice Court this season. And if we know who Van Eck is. I can see the Wylan Van Eck reveal happening towards the end of this season as well.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 3: Faith and Religion. The films in Unit 3 are: But I’m a Cheerleader (2000), Prayers for Bobby (2009), Latter Days (2003), Blackbird (2014), The Wise Kids (2011), Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015)

Today I will be writing about

Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015) dir. Stephen Cone

[Run Time: 1:27, Available on: tubi, Lang: English] 

Summary: Henry Gamble, a 17-year-old preacher's son, wrestles with sexuality, alcoholism and faith during his birthday party.

Cast: *Cole Doleman as Henry Gamble *Elizabeth Laidlaw as Kat Gamble, Henry's mother *Pat Healhy as Bob Gamble, Henry's father *Nina Ganet as Autumn Gamble, Henry's sister *Patrick Andrews as Ricky Matthews, recent suicide survivor *Hanna Dworkin as Bonnie Montgomery, the most miserable woman on the planet *Francis Guinan as Larry Montgomery, Bonnie's husband

(side note, I should start keeping tallies about how many movies on this syllabus come from Wolfe production company)

___

Well, we’ve reached the end of the line for Unit 3 with this one, and I have to say, I do think I like this piece from Stephen Cone better than I enjoyed The Wise Kids. (Though, honestly, I probably owe The Wise Kids a rewatch because of where my head was at when I watched that piece.)

Now, I am not religious, and I don’t have the kind of religious trauma that I think would make some of these films speak to me more, and the thing I kind of like with Stephen Cone’s pieces is that the queerness doesn’t intersect with religion as much as religion and queerness exist in the same space, if that makes sense. Like is there some internalized homophobia going on, there is some external homophobia going on, but…The Wise Kids and Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party have seemed more like stories where there are gay, religious kids, rather than the gays (or at least main gay character) suffering under the weight of religion which films such as Prayers for Bobby and Latter Days portray. [Do not get me wrong, gays suffering under the weight of religion is still present in both films, it just feels secondary to the main thread]. 

As such, I think I found myself connecting more, and being more interested in the plot of the mother and her daughter, Autumn as well as to the portrayal of the small town, white, religious adults. Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party is extremely legible in showing what the characters are feeling without really having to say anything about it. You can tell that Henry’s mother is Straight Up Not Having A Good Time Right Now from the first second we see her on screen, you can tell there is some level of tension between her and her husband, you can tell how tenuous Ricky’s stability is from the moment he walks in the door. 

I liked how there was cross talk, and how there were references to people and to conversations that happened that we were not a part of. It makes the film seem real and lived in, I liked how easily I was able to identify the queer kids, and how I suspect a few more characters (cough cough, Jon) are queer and either not aware of it or are hiding/suppressing it. 

But more importantly, I really enjoyed how much of this film was dedicated to water and to wine.

Like, every single time these kids jumped in the pool I could think of nothing else but baptism. Every time an adult poured themselves a mug of wine, and another adult complained about it I could do nothing but think about Jesus turning water to wine, and how the sacrament is taken with wine. Yet here, in the home, the wine must be hidden, the adults can’t be seen drinking around the children, etc. 

And maybe it’s cause I’m no longer 17, but while Henry’s journey throughout the film is important, I spent more time focusing on Kat, on Ricky, and on Bonnie throughout this film. Kat just seems to be going through the routine, stuck in a life it feels like she doesn’t want or possibly never wanted, and being mostly ignored. Ricky is the subject of a lot of conversation and gossip, but no one really knows how to treat him normally after a suicide attempt, and Bonnie is the most miserable woman to ever walk the earth. 

I think what is the most notable to me is how people change over the course of the movie. In water, Henry comes to finally accept his feelings for Logan, in water the very clearly bored adults get to have some fun, those who entered the water exited with change, and those who did not remained relatively the same. The same goes for the wine. The adults that drank wine went through some sort of change, while the adults who didn’t ended up staying relatively the same. By this I mean Bonnie, because she was the only person who did not swim or drink. 

With the wine, Kat tells Autumn a secret, you know the kind that mothers only tell their eldest daughters. With the wine, Kat and Autumn heal a part of their relationship. With the wine, Larry just gets real chill with queer people real quick. With the wine, Kat and Bob end with a separation. 

So I think that was the most compelling aspect. Bonnie is judgemental about sex, porn, etc. and thusly she does not approve of swimming, because of girls being in scantily clad outfits. Bonnie is judgemental about alcohol consumption and thusly she is annoyed that her husband is sneaking wine. Bonnie does not invest in earthly pleasures, and so she is just the most miserable person by a mile and she just spends all of her time making everyone around her miserable as well. She’s just an empty person who does not know how to get out of it, and her personal perception of religion is keeping her excluded from connection and joy. In my opinion at least. 

Ricky is just a kid I feel bad for. He’s trying to get his life back on track, he’s trying to get back some sense of normalcy and instead he is gossiped about constantly and kept in the dark about whether or not he is going to be a camp counselor again. You can see him just constantly trying to hold it together, until he just stuck in the bathroom and can’t get out. Where it all falls to pieces. Now. We hear a rumor about Ricky that we have no way to corroborate, but considering this is a film about faith and religion, let’s just say that the intense self harm that Ricky participates in feels very much like he is trying to absolve himself of sins through some form of self punishment. 

Overall, I think this film was a good one to end on and I am sure it would have a lot more to say to me if I had a better understanding of religion, but this is what I kind of found. 

For/By/About 

I think this one is a By and About queer people film. I don’t think enough of the plot revolved around queerness and religion to really be for queer people. This film seemed more of a rated E for everyone situation 

Favorite Moment

By far my favorite moment of the film is Autumn and Kat talking in the car. I loved this quiet moment between mother and daughter, where Kat allows Autumn to see some of her flaws and where Kat apologizes for any harm she may have caused Autumn over the years. It’s a very vulnerable moment that brought me both sadness and joy.

Favorite Quote

“No. We’re doing it all wrong. You, you’re gay, that’s fine, the Lord made you that way, fine. Fuck it.” 

This is said by one of the older men at the party, Larry, who is piss drunk at this point. But has just witnessed Ricky exiting the party with his mother after a super massive self harm incident, and who I think comes to some pretty quick conclusions about the ways in which religion and faith can have an extremely negative impact. The scene itself does feel a little bit like when Nomi’s mother ate a really good weed brownie at Nomi and Aminita’s wedding and was suddenly cured of her transphobia in Sense8, but nevertheless it is another moment I think of showing transformation through the consumption of wine (aka Christ’s blood). 

Score

8.5/10

I enjoyed this film, found it compelling, thought there was some really great acting, and I absolutely loved how the film ends full circle with the same shot of Henry that we open the film on.

I am knocking half a point off for the fact that I had to watch a straight sex scene in this film (however brief) but there was no queer physical/romantic/sexual intimacy portrayed on screen. (Unless you want to count the masturbation scene at the very beginning of the film, but I think the jury is out on that one). 

And with this I move on to Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, a section that I am certain will be nothing but sunshine and rainbows, and which I am unsure if I should start before or after the holidays.

[duckprintspress]

Celebrate World Folktales and Fables Week with 10 of Our Favorite Folktale Collections

This week, March 19th to 25th, is World Folktales and Fables Week! Duck Prints Press is celebrating with two blog posts: today’s, which focuses on the folktales, fables, and myths that influenced us as creators, and tomorrow’s, about our favorite folktale-inspired fiction (queer and otherwise).

Love folktales and fables? Join us now and learn about the ones we love – some you may know, some you may not!

D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths by Ingri d’Aulaire & Edgar Parin d’Aulaire (an inspiration for Shadaras)

The first book that comes to mind is D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths (I had to look up the title, but the cover is burned into my memory). While there may be other collections of fairytales and folklore that struck me, this is one of the first ones I read, and it set the stage for my love of mythology in general.

The True Story of the Three Little Pigs! by Jon Scieszka & Lane Smith (an inspiration for Veronica Sanders)

I remember being really inspired by the genre of “a well-known story told from a different perspective” after reading the Jon Scieszka/Lane Smith books in 2nd grade, like The True Story of the Three Little Pigs. I always really liked thinking about folktales and fables from the POV of the “villain.”

Folktale-Inspired Disney Films (an inspiration for Adrian Harley)

I was a Disney-loving child of the 90s, so I am still unpacking the ways that shaped my view of folk stories, stories as a whole, and the world—and reconciling the positive ways these stories shaped me vs. the harms of the Disney corporation.

The Onion Girl (and other stories) by Charles de Lint (an inspiration for Anonymous)

He did an amazing job of blending American and European folklore with ordinary life in all its highs and lows. I don’t know if I could point to a specific story that’s retelling any one folktale, but I can absolutely point to the author as a whole for his folkloric style and tender exploration of magic, queerness, and being outcast. He helped invent the Mythic Fiction subgenre. The Onion Girl lives in my head rent-free.

Folktales of the Amur: Stories from the Russian Far East by Dmitri Nagishkin (an inspiration for Nina Waters)

A collection of eastern Russian folktales that really had a huge impact on me. 30+ years on from when I read them, I honestly couldn’t relate a single one of the stories, but they burrowed so deep into my psyche that when I imagine “folktales that really mattered to me” the first image that comes to mind is the cover. The art throughout the book is just absolutely gorgeous.

The Rose-Beauty – a Turkish Fairy Tale (an inspiration for Alessa Riel)

This is a Turkish fairytale that impressed me because it was cruel even for a fairytale. It‘s about a young woman who is blessed from birth to grow roses in her hair, cry pearls and grow grass wherever she walks and the cruel fate she is dealt because people are jealous of her gifts. It has a happy ending but only just.

A Tale Dark and Grimm by Adam Gidwitz (an inspiration for Sebastian Marie)

It had a HUGE influence on me as a kid, for two main reasons. One, the events of a lot of European fairytales are told as happening to the same two kids and their parents, which creates a really interesting story structure. Two, it’s unabashedly mean and gory and cruel and well, dark and grim. It says that sometimes people are terrible and sometimes bad things happen to decent people. It’s one of the things that made me want to write fairy tales, or at least stories that are a bit gruesome and meant to be told to children.

The Swan-Maiden – a fairy tale (an inspiration for Alessa Riel)

This is a variant of the selkie tale as far as I can tell, only that the women don‘t turn into seals but beautiful swans. It was the version of the lore I first encountered and the unfairness of the women being forced to marry their captor and abuser and then also being cursed for abandoning the children these men forced onto them always resonated deeply with me.

The Blue Light by The Brothers Grimm (an inspiration for Alessa Riel)

In this fairytale a veteran soldier is unjustly treated by the king and then a witch sets him three challenges. The third one is getting her a blue light from a deep well. He refuses to give her the light and she drops him into the well along with the light. It turns out the light can fulfill wishes. Up to this part the veteran looks like a sympathetic person, but he uses those wishes to have the princess dragged to his room three nights in a row to do his bidding against her will. He is finally found out and sentenced to death for this transgression but manages to escape that fate by using the blue light and he gets the kingdom and the princess to boot. I always found this supremely unfair.

Egyptian Mythology (an inspiration for Dei Walker)

I think one of the first books of folktales, legends, or fairy tales I can remember reading repeatedly is a copy of Egyptian myths and legends I used to get out of my local public library when I was young. It was already an old edition in the 1980s and its pages were yellowed, but I would borrow it regularly and lose myself in the stories of life and (un)death along the Nile.

What are some folktales and fables that have inspired YOU? We’d love to hear about them, and maybe find some classical stories to add to our To Be Read piles!

Who we are: Duck Prints Press LLC is an independent publisher based in New York State. Our founding vision is to help fanfiction authors navigate the complex process of bringing their original works from first draft to print, culminating in publishing their work under our imprint. We are particularly dedicated to working with queer authors and publishing stories featuring characters from across the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Love what we do? Want to make sure you don’t miss the announcement for future giveaways? Sign up for our monthly newsletter and get previews, behind-the-scenes information, coupons, and more!

Want to support the Press, read about us behind-the-scenes, learn about what’s coming down the pipeline, get exclusive teasers, and claim free stories? Back us on Patreon or ko-fi monthly!

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Sunshine and Moonshine

Chapter 24: Sick children

It had been two days and Sharon had not confronted Ámbar properly about her disobedience yet. That made Ámbar a bit nervous, because it could happen at any moment.

She tried focusing on Emilia. It got a bit intense there for a moment… 

As she entered Blake in the morning, Delfi and Jazmin both noticed she was thinking about something, and they immediately wanted to know.

“Did something happen, Ámbar?” Delfi asked. “You look like there’s something on your mind.”

“There’s always something on Ámbar’s mind!” Jazmin said, “She’s got quite a heavy life.”

“That is true… but I got a feeling that the thing Ámbar is thinking about right now is gossip worth sharing!”

Before Ámbar could say anything, they were all caught off guard by someone sneezing extremely loudly.

“Woah, Ramiro!” Matteo exclaimed. “What’s up with you?”

Ramiro furrowed his eyebrows and stared into thin air, as if he didn’t know who to face when talking. “My little brother did not come home with the flu from his school and smitted me. I’m fine! I’m just allergic to… floors!”

With that, he stomped off. 

“Okay…” Jim mumbled. 

In class, Ramiro sat right next to Ámbar. She could hear him sniffing and trying to hold in coughs.

She instinctively tried to move away from him a bit. 

Soon, Ramiro could not hold it anymore and let out a cough. 

“Cover your arm when you cough!” Ámbar exclaimed, as Ramiro had just been coughing right out in the open.

“Relax, there’s no germs in a cough,” Ramiro said.

The teacher had heard them, and stared awkwardly in front of the board. “... I think we need a run through about germ spreading.”

-

While the rest of the school day was fine, by the end of the day, both Delfi and Matteo let out some coughs. People didn’t think much about it, though. 

As Ámbar and Luna headed home, Ámbar suddenly sneezed.

“Did you get Ramiro’s thing?” Luna asked.

“No… at least I hope so… I just sneezed.”

As they got home, the plan was to change out of their school uniforms and then head to Jam and Roller to skate. But Ámbar got this sudden headache… and she decided to stay home. At least until the headache disappeared.

Luna however, has as much energy as possible, and went to Jam and Roller.

She skated around for a bit. She noticed her throat was getting a little heavier. Not a problem, she thought, and decided to drink some water.

She later met up with her friends.

“Wasn’t Gastón coming here with you?” Jim asked Nina.

“He was, but he said he wasn’t feeling well. Maybe he caught Ramiro’s thing. They’re in the same class, after all…”

After she said this, she let out a sneeze.

“Maybe you caught it, too,” Yam said.

“Impossible! I haven’t been near Ramiro today!”

“But have you been near Gastón?” Yam proceeded to do kissing sounds.

Nina stared at her in horror.

Yam immediately backed off. “Sorry, I was just joking. I don’t know when a joke goes too far sometimes? Did it go too far? I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no, it’s okay… I just… there was this free period between two classes… ”

“Did you…” Jim tried to say it as carefully as she could. “... swap spit?”

That was, indeed, as “carefully” as Jim could say it.

Nina nodded. 

“Ok, there’s a high chance you can be sick,” Luna said.

“I hope not…”

Suddenly, Jim was the one to sneeze.

“Did you swap spit with Gastón, too?” Yam joked. Jim stared at her in shock, not prepared for that.

“Ramiro did cough next to me today,” Jim said. “I hope it was just a random sneeze, and there’s nothing to it…”

“I feel peachy!” Luna admitted. “I just feel a bit… cold, which is weird, because I’ve been working out a lot by skating.”

“Yeah, I’m freezing a little, too…” Yam admitted. “How odd…”

-

As Luna and Ámbar ate dinner that night, both were sure that they were just fine. Ámbar was just a little tired, and Luna just felt a bit chilly. 

“What are you doing?” Sharon asked Luna. “You’re shivering.”

“I’m just freezing… I don’t know why, but I do.” She then let out a sneeze.

“I don’t hope you’re getting sick…” Sharon then turned to Ámbar, noticing her looking tired. “And I hope you don’t, either.”

“I’m not sick, madrina,” Ámbar assured her, although in a very dizzy tone. “I just… have been feeling tired since I came home.”

Sharon went up and felt Ámbar’s forehead. “You’re warm.” She then felt Luna’s. “You, too.”

“How can I be warm when I’m freezing?” Luna asked.

“I’ll suggest you take warm baths and then go straight to bed. And keep yourselves upstairs.”

Ámbar felt her throat. It was starting to itch from the inside. She let out a cough, hoping it would make it better, but it didn’t. 

“Eat up your food quickly,” Sharon said, “Then go upstairs.”

Sharon was extremely afraid of getting sick. So, every time one of the girls got sick, she basically quarantined them in their rooms, not even wanting to be close to them. Basically, if you were sick, you were treated like a dangerous zombie. 

The girls went upstairs, took baths (in separate bathrooms), and spent the rest of the night in their bedrooms. 

As they woke up in the morning, it had not gotten better. Ámbar's throat hurt even more than usual and Luna felt her nose being all stuffed. 

But the girls ignored it and went down to breakfast.

Sharon noticed it, however. 

“You’re pale… both of you.”

“We are?” Ámbar asked, and the second she opened her mouth she sounded really hoarse. She coughed a bit. 

“You look sick…” Sharon said. “And you’ve been sniffing this entire time, Luna.”

“Sorry, my nose is a bit stuffed…”

Sharon glanced at both of them, back and forth. “You do not look well.”

“We need to go to school,” Ámbar said. 

“You shouldn’t go to school.”

“What?” Luna asked. “Our education is really important and we should prioritize it! Isn’t that what you always say?”

“In normal circumstances, yes, but if I send you away, your teacher will just send you home. Besides, Blake is good with sending home homework if you missed a day.”

Luna and Ámbar sighed. They didn’t want to get extra homework. 

“Gosh, I don’t feel good…” Luna mumbled.

Sharon’s eyes widened and stood up quickly. She walked fast up to Amanda, who was cleaning the hallway. She snatched Amanda’s cleaning spray and pointed it at the girls.

“Go upstairs.”

“Are you ok?” Ámbar asked.

“I can’t get sick! I don’t want to get whatever virus you have. Upstairs!”

“But… school-”

“I’ll call them and tell them you’re sick, just get up! Now! Before I get smitten!”

“Ok, geez…” Luna said. She then proceeded to sneeze, which caused Sharon to just point the cleaning spray at them harder.

-

Luna sent a group text to her friends.

Luna: I’m sick today, so don’t wait for me before class!

Yam: I’M SICK TOO

Jim: ME TOO

Yam: Conspiracy theory: Ramiro’s fault?

Nina: I’m also sick!

Luna: Aw, so no one can give me homework notes?

Yam: Bold of you to assume I even take notes normally. I learn by listening as I draw in my notebook.

Yam: More or less learning, at least. I have mediocre grades. I still pass, though!

Nina: What a coincidence all of us got sick?

Yam: You’re sick because you swapped spit with Gastón and he swapped spit with Ramiro

Yam: Wait

Jim: My sister asked why I was laughing so much

Yam: Ahh Julia!! Say hi from me!

Luna: I thought your sister was named Aillén?

Jim: Aillén is my little cousin who’s obsessed with me because my Open music performances ended up on youtube and thus she assumes I am world famous. She dyed her hair red and everything for me. 

Nina: That is adorable. Didn’t you say no one in your family actually has red hair except you?

Jim: Yep! I got a recessive gene or something. Aillén was always fascinated with it and had been wanting to dye it red herself for years. 

Yam: Julia looks a lot like you, Nina, actually. Like it’s scary. She even has glasses.

Jim: She goes to Blake too, you must’ve seen her in the hallway at some point. 

Nina: I’ll keep a lookout for her. Some day. When I’m not home sick.

Yam: I wish we could be sick together in the same house. When I was little I loved seeing best friends being sick together in tv shows and sharing a bed. It seemed so cozy. 

Jim: Come over to my house!! We’ll be sick together

Yam: Really??

Jim: Yeah! Come over! 

Yam: Ok yeah I’m coming!

Nina: Won’t you expose people outside of your germs on the way there?

Yam: I’ll wear a mask! It’s fine!

Luna wanted to write “Have fun on your date!” but she decided not to. She did understand why Yam was so excited, though, and she secretly hoped her two friends got even closer so that she could hear all the gossip.

-

Yam went over to Jim’s house quickly, trying not to cough too much on the way there. Luckily, Jim’s house was only 10 minutes away. Yet, she felt her energy dropping much quicker.

As she reached Jim’s house, she knocked on the door, and Jim’s older sister Julia opened.

“Yam! Hi! Oh, you don’t look good…”

“No, I’m sick, and Jim suggested I could come over and we could be sick together.”

Julia smiled. “That is so sweet. Come in… don’t touch me, but do come in.”

As Yam went in, Julia went out. “Well, I’m going to school now… have fun being sick. But not too much fun.”

“What do you mean?”

Julia gave her a knowing smile. “I observe more than you think. Have fun now, you two.”

Yam waved goodbye, feeling a bit unsure what she meant. She then turned to the staircase, as Jim was coming down with a blanket wrapped around her. She also had a blanket for Yam.

“Hi,” she said in a hoarse voice.

“Hello,” Yam replied, snickering. 

“Let’s go to the living room. We’ll cozy up on the couch and watch a movie.” She threw the blanket to her.

“Sounds great.”

-

Luna and Ámbar were quarantined in their separate rooms. 

Ámbar was lying with her laptop on her bed, wondering what to do. She had been checking random videos on youtube, but she felt like she needed something more.

She suddenly saw a video clip from a movie adaptation of a book series she had read a bit as a kid. She never watched the movie adaptation, as it had come out when she was a bit too old for the books and she didn’t find it interesting at that point. 

Watching the clip, she realized how cheesy this movie seemed to be. She curiously read the comments, and to her delight, most people seemed to agree.

Imagine my disappointment when I saw this in theatres.

I refuse to acknowledge this movie’s existence. Let’s pretend it was just a collective fever dream.

This movie is the reason I started writing fanfiction about this franchise. To fix what the movie ruined!

Fanfiction… Ámbar knew what it was, but she had never really… read it before. 

Curious, she went to search for some fanfiction of this book series. Not to really read any of them, but just to see what people wrote. 

She found a website that seemed to just be for fanfictions. She wrote the book series in the search bar. 

Only 200 fanfictions? She recalled this being way more popular… but maybe not that many were into writing fanfiction about it.

She scrolled through it. Some were only a few 1000 words, others were several chapters. Then she found one fanfiction.

50 chapters out of question mark, meaning that the author was still updating it. The latest update was yesterday. 

”Well, I have nothing better to do…” Ámbar said to herself. 

-

Simón sent Luna a text message.

I saw you were online. Aren’t you in school?

Luna quickly replied.

Nope! I’m sick today 

She and Simón started texting.

Simón: Too bad! I’m gonna miss you skating today. 

Luna: You’re probably not gonna see any of us! All of us got sick, basically. 

Simón: What happened? Some sort of epidemic at your school? 

Luna: We think Ramiro is the culprit. He was sick yesterday but came to school anyway. 

Simón: Oof. Well… get some rest! I hope you get to just relax and enjoy junk food.

Luna: Junk food idk. But our maid comes in every other hour and asks what we want to eat, and then she brings us something from the kitchen. I could really eat a pizza right now… but we don’t have that in our kitchen. 

Simón: I always forget you’re a rich kid with maids and stuff. A bit sad you don’t get to order takeout though. 

Luna: I mean, we do get to, but Sharon gets disappointed in us. Plus it’s easier to just get what we got at home. 

Simón: Hmmm… I have an idea

Luna: Tell me.

Simón: No, you’ll see. 

-

Jim and Yam were looking really dazed at the TV. They didn’t know what to watch, and thus they just zapped on the tv and ended up on the kids channel. Right now there was some dubbed cartoon that they were too old to have known about before.

“That voice actress,” Yam said, “I’ve heard her everywhere.” 

“How old is she?” Jim asked. “I feel like she’s been in every single dubbed kids show I’ve seen all of my life.”

“Yeah, like… is it hard to find new voice actors? Is this why they have the same like… 10 people on everything? What will you do when they pass away?”

“Don’t know!”

The kids show ended, and soon a new one began. This one was one that the girls recognized, as it was a show from their own childhoods that now seemed to air as a rerun.

“Oh, I haven’t seen this since I was like 8,” Yam said.

“Me neither! How fun that it still airs!”

They watched for a moment. Suddenly, Jim let out a chuckle.

“I forgot how funny this was!”

“I don’t think I found it as funny as I find it now!” Yam admitted. “But maybe we find it funny because we’re sick.”

“Maybe… but this show is like… on crack!”

Yam laughed.

“I love your laugh so much,” Jim said. “I know I’ve said that before, but I just… really love it.”

“Thank you…” Yam grinned. She stroked Jim with her foot. 

They watched a little more of the show.

“You know, I actually think this isn’t a kids show, it’s a stoner show,” Yam said.”I don’t know if being sick and being high is the same thing, but I feel like stoners would love to watch this.”

“Yam… do you think we should be stoners?”

“Maybe in university.”

“Yeah, that sounds good… it feels like a university thing to do.”

Yam yawned. “Gosh, I feel so tired.”

“Should we take a nap?” Jim suggested. “We’ll go up to my bed and sleep together.”

Yam stared at her for a brief moment.

“What?” Jim asked.

“I…” Yam hated how her brain automatically thought of the dirtiest thing. “Nothing. Yeah, let’s go to your room.”

-

Luna was lying with her feet sticking up, leaning on the wall. She looked up at the ceiling.

She wanted to move. She was so understimulated. 

She had been clicking a pen so much that it broke. So, she had now gone over to drumming on her nightstand. 

Then Rey bursted into her room.

“Hey! Privacy!” Luna shouted.

“You’re very loud! ” Rey muttered. “Stop hitting your furniture.”

“You don’t decide over me!”

Rey sighed. “Please. Some of us are trying to work.”

“This is my room! And I’m sick!”

“I can hear that. So lay in bed and rest.”

“I cannot rest! I cannot sit still!”

“I am very aware… I’ve been trying to suggest to Sharon to maybe look that up, but she insists you just need discipline…”

Luna bounced on her bed. “Can you leave now? I don’t like you in my room.”

“If you stop drumming on furniture so that it bugs me.”

“Fine…”

She plopped down on her bed. What was there to do?

Suddenly, someone knocked on her door.

“Come in…?” she said curiously, as she let out a cough.

Someone with their back turned walked in slowly and closed the door. They then turned around.

Simón stood there, with a large smile and a pizza. “Are you hungry?”

-

Ámbar was completely stuck in this fanfiction. She had not thought about this franchise since she was maybe 11 years old, and yet, she was certain this random person online made the original source so much better. 

She was 15 chapters deep now, and she just loved the language, the funny lines the characters got out… the author had also added some original characters, and Ámbar thought they added some flavor to the story.

She didn’t leave comments. She didn’t have an account, anyway. But, she did read some other people’s comments.

Punknotdead2012 commented on chapter 2: "Looking good this far! I need to ask if the hippie character they met is based on someone you know?"

Moondustfan commented on chapter 4: “I’m lying on the floor clutching my ribs of laughter!”

Punknotdead2012 commented on chapter 5: “Loved the scene between the captain and the starfighter, but I also once again need to ask if your hippie oc is based on someone you know.”

Fernandalikesrollerskating commented on chapter 8: “LMAO believe it or not I had an exact moment like this once with this guy on my roller skate team. A bit different since he was human and not an alien, but still.”

Punknotdead2012 commented on chapter 13: “IS. THE. HIPPIE. OC. BASED. ON. SOMEONE. YOU. KNOW?!?!?!?!?!?!”

It was also interesting seeing the author’s notes at the end of each chapter. It was like the author lived this really odd life.

Supernovagirl’s A/N chapter 3: “Sorry this took longer to post, my mom locked me inside my room and took my phone -.- But I hope the length could make up for it!”

Supernovagirl’s A/N chapter 6: “I had to rush this because my mom pushed my stepdaughter down some stairs and now blames ME and she wants me to go to Switzerland and stuff idk what to do… but hopefully next chapter won’t come out too late.”

Supernovagirl’s A/N chapter 10: “Thanks for all your nice comments! If you wonder why I wrote an extra long chapter today, well, I’m celebrating! I’m staying in this country, my mom is now in a facility and I feel safe! Life can only get better haha!”

Who knew someone with such a traumatic life could just have time to write the most wonderful fanfiction?

As she finished chapter 15, she checked the comments. Another one from Punknotdead2012 who never seemed to get an answer on their one question. But then, she noticed someone that she might know…

Sapphicskater commented on chapter 15:“As someone who’s also hopelessly in love with her best friend, I feel the struggles of both the characters and you, dear author, as you mentioned you’ve experienced this too. I wish me and my bestie could get locked inside a magical space closet too.”

It HAD to be Yam. Ok, not that Yam was not the only sapphic girl that skated and was hopelessly in love with her best friend, but… it must be. 

Ámbar screenshotted it and sent it to Yam, asking if it was her. 

She soon got a reply.

Yam: You woke me up. I took a nap.

Ámbar: Aren’t you in school?

Yam: Nope. I’m in bed with Jim. 

Ámbar raised both of her eyebrows.

“Good for her…” she mumbled to herself.

-

Yam hoped her phone vibrating didn’t wake up Jim. Luckily, it didn’t seem to do that.

Jim was cute sleeping, even when sick. 

Yam smiled and took the opportunity to snuggle into her, because she could. If Jim woke up, Yam could pretend she did that in her sleep. 

She closed her eyes again and tried going back to sleep.

“Mm…” Jim mumbled. Yam squinted at her, smiled, and then closed her eyes again.

Then Jim mumbled again. Yam didn’t think much of it. 

Until the mumbling started to sound more like moaning .

Yam wondered for a moment if maybe it was because Jim was sick, it sounded more like she was moaning in her sleep when she simply snored or even breathed.

But then, Jim started talking in her sleep.

“Yes… we can do that… mmmmm… I like that…”

“Jim?” Yam was really curious about what she was dreaming. 

“Aah…”

Yam wondered if Jim was either having a really bad dream, or a really good dream. Since she mentioned that she liked something, the latter seemed more possible. 

Maybe she’d just try to go back to sleep herself. 

Or maybe she could answer Ámbar, since Ámbar asked her a question.

Yam: That is my fanfiction account… WAIT. You read fanfics, Ámbar Smith?

Ámbar: Let’s just say I’m bored as I am sick.

Ámbar: How was it being in bed with Jim?

Yam: I’m still in bed with Jim.

Ámbar: You’re texting as you’re being intimate? Interesting…

Yam: She’s sleeping for your information. 

Ámbar: After your lovemaking session, I presume?

Yam: I wish.

Yam: FUCK why did I send that…

Yam: I mean 

Yam: No we’re just sick together so I’m over at her house and we just took a nap and she’s still sleeping. 

Ámbar: I’m gonna read your fanfictions

Yam: I was about to go “NOOO” but you know what? The ones I posted I think turned out quite well. I don’t think you’re in any of my fandoms though

Ámbar: That’s ok, then I’m just gonna treat it as an original story. 

“Yam…” Jim mumbled.

Yam turned to her. “Yeah?” She thought Jim had woken up.

However, Jim seemed to still be asleep.

Jim made a moaning sound again, and then said it again. “Yam…”

Was Yam in her dream…?

Jim formed a rather satisfied smile. 

“Yam… I love you.”

Yam’s heart started beating faster. She didn’t know what kind of dream Jim actually had. She didn’t know if the “i love you” was platonic or romantic, or whatever else. She didn’t know if Jim was just having a fever dream, even though it didn’t seem like any of them had a fever, just a nasty cold. 

Yet, she smiled to herself, and hoped Jim remembered her dream when she woke up.

“I love you too, Jim.”

-

“Simón, what are you doing here?” Luna asked. 

“I decided to give you some pizza!”

“Wow!”

Simón sat down. “I didn’t know exactly what your favorite pizza flavor was, but I went off vibes.” He opened the box to reveal a pizza with bacon on it.

“Wait, is this a pizza that exists?” Luna laughed.

“Apparently! And I thought it was perfectly chaotic for you!”

Before Luna could eat, he took a slice and fed her himself. She made eye contact with him as she chewed on the pizza. 

“Delicious…”

“Really? I have to give it a taste!” Simón picked up his own slice. Meanwhile, Luna just stared at him.

Something in her belly tickled. She wondered at first if it was because she was sick and her body fought against anything she ate. But it felt… good.

“I hope I don’t get you smitten…” she said.

“Oh, it’s fine! I have four siblings! I’m pretty used to getting sick! Starting to get immune to it by this point, haha.”

“That’s good…” She took another pizza slice. “Mm! I don’t know how you actually could find out my pizza preference without me even having tasted this type of pizza before!”

“Well, I guess I have magical powers.”

She giggled.

“Are you the only one home sick today?” Simón asked.

“No, Ámbar is sick, too.”

“Aww… do you think she wants pizza?”

“I’m sure she does… you could go over and give her some.”

“Alright! I’ll go over and give her a slice. But then I’ll be back, ok?”

“Yeah…”

Luna felt really happy he was gonna come back to her. Though, she knew he’d probably want to be with Ámbar more. Even if they broke up… 

A minute after Simón had left the room, Sharon suddenly opened the door. She didn’t go in, due to not wanting to be smitten.

“I heard loud noises. What are you doing?”

“I’m just being myself in my own room!” Luna replied.

Sharon looked at the pizza box like it was a weapon. “Where did you get a pizza from?”

“I don’t know! It just seemed to come from thin air! Weird, right?” Luna held up a slice. “Want some?”

Sharon stared at her in silence, before slowly closing the door.

-

Someone knocked on Ámbar’s door and she immediately closed her laptop. “Come in!”

Simón came in with a grin. “Surprise! Want a pizza slice?”

“Simón? What are you doing here?”

“I bought Luna pizza and I wanted to give you a slice!”

“Ok… why did you buy Luna a pizza?”

“I felt like it!”

Ámbar took the slice and ate it. “It was… ok, but a bit strange. Could you get me some wipes, my hands are sticky from pizza now…”

Simón handed over some wet wipes for her to wipe her hands with.

“So, what are you doing lying in bed sick?” Simón asked.

“I mostly check my laptop.”

“I see! What are you looking at?”

“Well…”

Simón crossed his arms and smirked. “Ámbar, it’s ok if you look at something embarrassing. I promise I’ve looked at worse things online than what you’ve ever seen.”

“Fine…” She opened her laptop and showed him. He immediately started laughing.

“Oh, fanfiction? Ámbar, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I read it sometimes, too. Although. I prefer reading it out loud for my friends, it’s really entertaining.”

“I found Yam’s fanfiction account.”

“Yam’s? Oh my gosh, show me!”

He took a picture of Yam’s account. “I’m totally gonna read this later and then reference it to her!”

“She’s gonna be so surprised!”

“I know!”

Both chuckled. 

“Well… get well soon, Ámbar. I need to go.”

“Yeah… see you!”

Ámbar still had a soft spot for Simón. She wasn’t sure if she still had romantic feelings for him, but he made her feel good.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed. It was from Emilia.

How’s it going? Wanna skate?

Emilia also made her feel good… but in another way. 

Ámbar: Sorry, but I’m sick today.

Emilia: Are you really sick or are your weird guardian forcing you to be inside?

Ámbar: Well both, but I am actually sick. Like I cough and sneeze and shit

Emilia: Gnarly! 

Emilia: I wish I was over there and fed you pizza or something

Ámbar: Haha.

She closed her eyes, and imagined Emilia coming over and seductively feeding her pizza.

Suddenly, Sharon came in. Not knocking, of course, this was her house and privacy was a privilege, not a right. 

“Ámbar…” she said slowly.

“Hi, madrina.”

“I’m not gonna get close to you, but we need to discuss you being disobedient the other day.”

“Ok.” Ámbar was too sick to really feel anything about a lecture about her bad behavior.

Sharon closed the door, leaning against it to be as far away from Ámbar as possible. “You’re out of control, Ámbar, and I am wondering if there is some outside force influencing you to be like this.”

“No, I just feel grumpy over life.”

“How come?”

Ámbar sighed. “I’m raised by you, and you wonder why I feel grumpy over life?”

“See! Now you’re like that again! Rude and no respect for me.”

Ámbar felt like keeping her eyes up was harder for each second that passed.

“Why can’t you be like you were when you were little? Always listening and being respectful.”

“You never told me that when I was little. I tried and tried to please you, and it never seemed like it was enough for you. Eventually I guess I gave up, because it was no use anyway.”

Sharon crossed her arms. “I don’t remember what I said and didn’t say, but this is not the Ámbar I raised.”

Ámbar yawned, not really having the energy to care about anything Sharon said. “Well, I’m not 8 years old anymore.”

Sharon glanced at her. Suddenly, she felt a bit of sympathy, which she rarely felt.

“You really are sick right now, aren’t you?”

“Maybe…” 

“I can see that… you look really tired.”

“I’d like to nap, actually. I don’t want to argue with you. I don’t have the energy for that.”

“You’re right. We shouldn’t argue. You should get some rest.”

Ámbar closed her eyes. 

Sharon stared at her for a few moments. “Ámbar…?” she said carefully. No response. 

She went as close as she could without feeling like she’d be at risk to be smitten. 

She had put that little girl down for a nap when she was very young. She knew when Ámbar was actually sleeping.

She almost wanted to pet her, but… once again, she did not want to be sick.

Suddenly, Ámbar’s phone vibrated.

Curious, Sharon took it. 

Emilia: Imagine that tho. You sitting there like a princess and me feeding you. Would be pretty hot lol

Sharon furrowed her eyebrows. What kind of language was this?

She wondered if she could unlock Ámbar’s phone.

Immediately, she walked out in the hallway. 

“Rey! Come over here?”

Rey came very fast. 

“Yes, Miss Benson?”

“Unlock this phone for me, please.”

“Right on it, Miss Benson.”

[tobias-hankel]

"Why can't they just love me?"

804 words, oops.

Spencer meets Gideon for the first time.

--

"Why can't they just love me?" Gideon heard someone sob out as he turned the corner of the Caltech Library.

He was only supposed to be there for a guest lecture while the BAU team was in the area on a case, but he found himself in the abnormal psychology section of the library around 8pm, seeing if he could find a book that related to the case they just solved. Instead, he found a boy sobbing into an open textbook, all alone.

“Kid?” Gideon said as he walked up, not wanting to scare him, “Are you alright?”

Spencer jumped and quickly wiped his eyes. Normally no one came to that wing of the library, really so late in the evening. “Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Spencer said, starting to close his books and pack his stuff back in his messenger bag.

“Hold up, what are you doing here?” Gideon asked.

“I go to school here. What are you doing here?” Spencer asked back, trying to make his voice sound as even and as adult as possible.

Gideon smirked at how tough the kid was trying to seem, “I was guest lecturing today and—” Gideon started but Spencer cut him off.

“Jason Gideon with the BAU!” He said, clearly excited.

“How did you—” Gideon went to ask but again, Spencer cut him off.

“There are only two guest lecturers at the campus today. Dr. Nina Williams who was lecturing about Space Biology and you, who was lecturing about Behavioral Psychology. I had a class during your lecture, but I wish I could have gone. Did you know that while your team focuses on crimes committed by people with mental illnesses, only 7.5 percent of crimes are directly related to symptoms of mental illness? The amount of people with mental illnesses in the criminal justice system is actually unknown due to the low income and lack of mental health services that—” Spencer suddenly stopped, and his face grew red. “Sorry…”

Gideon moved to the seat across from Spencer, “Don’t be sorry. You seem very bright.” Spencer smiled to himself at the praise. “You an interest in psychology?”

Spencer nodded, “I have an interest in pretty much everything.” He mumbled, feeling embarrassed about his interest in learning but Gideon just smiled at him.

“That is wonderful. The world needs more people like you,” Gideon said, and Spencer smiled again. “Now, do you want to tell me why you were upset?”

Spencer looks away, first determined to not tell this stranger anything but, looking back over at Gideon – he was the first person to make Spencer smile in days – so he figured why not. “Today is my birthday, and my parents didn’t call or write,” Spencer said, studying Gideon’s face for any signs of judgment but found none, so he kept going.

“My mom is sick… um… paranoid schizophrenia… And my dad, he… He left us when I was ten. Sometimes I just think I will hear from him one day but… I never do.” Spencer said, wrapping his arms around himself.

“That’s tough, kid,” Gideon said after a moment. It wasn’t the most heartfelt or comforting thing but for some reason, Spencer liked that more than being told sorry. It was tough. Very tough, and at least this stranger could see that. “How old are you today?”

“Fifteen.”

“Well, happy 15th birthday,” Gideon said, and Spencer couldn’t help but tear up. “How about your next birthday I call you here at the university and hear more about what you think about psychology, and I can tell you about the BAU. I think you would be a good fit.”

“But… You don’t even know me,” Spencer said, fidgeting with his hands.

“I know you are bright and strong— just what the BAU needs,” Gideon said, standing up and pulling his card out of his pocket. “You can call me anytime as well. It was nice to meet you—”

“Spencer Reid,” Spencer supplied.

“It was nice to meet you, Spencer Reid,” Gideon said with a warm, fatherly smile before turning around and leaving.

Spencer was sure he wouldn’t see or hear from that man ever again, so he left the card on the table and went to his dorm where he spent the rest of his birthday all alone.

A year passed and Spencer had forgotten all about the FBI agent he met for a few minutes in the library – that was until he was told there was a phone call waiting for him in the student lounge.

“Hello? Spencer speaking.” The now 16-year-old said into the phone.

“Hey Spencer, it’s Jason Gideon,” Gideon said and Spencer’s jaw dropped.

“Mr. Gideon! I didn’t think you would call.”

“I said I would. Happy Birthday, kid. Now, how about you tell me about what you are currently studying.”

--

I got carried away but this was fun. I'm a slow writer but feel free to drop me a 5 sentence ask or a prompt in my ask box 🖤

[countessofravenclaw]

A homeland this north, country dear fathers! Part uno

Winter is the time for holidays, celebrations, and fun. Nina, Gastón, Luna and Matteo receive a wedding invitation to France for the New Years and decide, since they're already going to Europe, why not take everything out of it and take a well-deserved skiing vacation? Simon and Ambar join them and all is set for a relaxing holiday at Finland's northern region called Lapland. A place for speed, reindeer, fun, and dangerous situations... Just kidding, what could possibly go wrong at the winter wonderland? (There is a Finnis Christmas song linked on the title)

Taakse jo jäänyt on syksyn lohduttomuus

“You still think it was a good idea to take Newton out on this weather?” Nina said to Gastón as he came through the door with Newton. 

It had been raining hard the whole early October evening, but her husband still thought that it couldn’t possibly be stopping him from going on his run with their dog. 

“I turned around when the thunder started.” Gastón said, as that would make it any less crazy. 

“You’re soaked to the skin,” Nina walked into the downstairs bathroom and grabbed Newton’s towel and handed it to Gastón. Newton was just sitting on the floor next to him wagging his tail and tongue out—also soaking wet, “He’s gonna zoom around for an hour now.” 

“Then let's let him,” Gastón just laughed, “Hey look, I turn 27 next week and be in my late twenties, so I gotta have the fun now.” 

“Getting poured on is fun?” Nina just shook her head again before her eyes focused on a pile of papers on the chest of drawers, “What’s that?”

“I got the post,” Gastón answered as he hung his, completely soaked through, jacked on a hanger. 

“I don’t know why we still have paper post delivered,” Nina picked up the envelopes, “How has it not died yet? I’ll look through them, you need to go shower and change before you catch a cold.” 

Nina put the envelopes on the coffee table as she sat down on the couch after Gastón had gone up. Newton curled next to her as she opened her phone. Her publishing agency had sent her couple of emails that she had left unread earlier in the day, so she opened them now. They were about the publishing announcement of her third book, which would finish her debut trilogy that she had started while in university. 

Something that had started as a “stupid idea”, although Gastón liked to differ on the topic, was now finished and had given her defining career, and she honestly was getting a weird feeling of sadness about it. One era in her life was kind of over and she needed to figure out what to do next.

“Was there anything interesting?” Gastón walked back down the stairs. 

“Where?” Nina looked up as he sat on the other side of Newton, who was dead asleep in a bagel position. 

“In the envelopes?” Gastón asked again amused, “We don’t get much paper post. Who on earth is sending some?”

“I didn’t look at them yet.” Nina admitted, “I had a couple of emails from Mereilla that I needed to read. You know, about the press release and about quotes for it.” 

“They are sending you those now?” Gastón furrowed his brow, “They couldn’t wait till tomorrow?”

“They came earlier today actually,” Nina opened her phone again, “I just didn’t look at them. You know how busy the end of the year is if the book comes out in January. But there is nothing I can do about these now. I’ll be going over there for that meeting on Monday anyway.” Nina put her phone away and reached for the post. 

Most of the envelopes were either advertisements or some other insignificant stuff. Under all those on the other hand was a thicker envelope.

It was dusty rose-colored, and envelope was really textured. Her and Gastón’s names were written with perfect cursive on the front with their address. The stamps indicated that the envelope had come all the way from France. It was even sealed with a wax seal that had the initials “O & F” on it. 

“I think we know what this is,” Nina handed it to Gastón, because she would never be able to break the seal. She didn’t have the fine motor skills for that. 

“I thought for sure they wouldn’t send paper ones,” Gastón remarked, “But here we are. Explains why it took so long. I was already starting to get worried.” 

He pulled the invitation out of the envelope and handed it to Nina. 

It read:

Flor Astrella and Oliver Carson invite you to celebrate with them as they become Mr. and Mrs. Carson on 31st of December 2026 at The subterranean monolithic church of Saint-Jean 18 Rue St Jean, 16390 Aubeterre-sur-Dronne, France Starting 15:00 The reception will be held afterward at Le Château Charmant Le Bourg 16320 Boisné-la-Tude, France

“So, they did settle for the new year’s after all,” Gastón remarked, “Now I need to call James and Jacob to see if they knew and I was the one left waiting for the invite. Well, now we don’t need to make plans for the new year’s.”

“Well, we do need a plan,” Nina noted, “since we’re traveling to France.”

“I know that,” Gastón laughed and grabbed the tablet that had been on the coffee table, “So, the closest airport to that place is the Bergerac and there is a train station near as well, the Chalais. I think it might be smarter to get a hotel closer to the airport… Good thing about this is that I don’t need to get any time off, so we can do what we want.”

The whole executive team at Castillo Corporation had a consecutive summer vacation from the 19th of December to the end of January. 

“So, if we got this today…” Nina was turning the invitation on her hands, “...although, I doubt Luna and Matteo check their mailbox every day. Should we call them to tell them that these have come?”

“You are so certain they are invited?” Gastón was grinning at her, and Nina rolled her eyes at him. Gastón had been the one to matchmake Flor and Oliver at Oxford, once upon time, and Nina had helped. They had been close personal friends with them, ever since Oliver had been Gastón’s roommate, but Matteo was Flor’s cousin. “Just joking, Matteo would never speak to Flor again if she didn’t invite him. These surely were sent in the same batch.”

“We should talk to them before we book any accommodation,” Nina continued, “So we can do it together.”

“I agree,” Gastón nodded, “but do we really wanna spoil the joy that they got a wedding invitation, given that nobody really knew when this was gonna be happening. Last time I asked, Oliver gave me like three dates. Maybe we should just wait until at least tomorrow for them to get it and then talk.”

“You’re right,” Nina nodded and scooted closer to lean on Gastón’s shoulder. Newton was still between them, but they were used to the clingy third-wheeling dog. They wouldn’t have it any other way. “You know, there has been so many weddings since we came back.”

“That’s true,” Gastón seemed to count with his fingers, “Simon and Ambar, Us, Pedro and Delfi, Elizabeth, then my uncle, Luna and Matteo, Jonathan and Windy… That’s all, right? That’s seven, Flor and Oliver are the eight.”

“It’ll be nice to be just a guest again,” Nina continued, “Being a bridesmaid has been exhausting. Your uncle’s wedding was really nice.” 

“Because your boss, who had very recently promoted you very unexpectedly, wasn’t there. The aforementioned boss being also a person who your parents don’t particularly like. I still wonder why Mom and Dad let me even work at Castillo Corporations.” Gastón laughed slightly, “Flor and Oliver’s wedding will be so much more peaceful. And I definitely see why they chose the date… New years can be so romantic…”

Nina smiled as she felt his hand creep up around her waist, pulling her closer. 

“Your suits are still fine, right?” 

“Yeah,” Gastón nodded, “I don’t think I will wear the black one, though. I wear it too much for work. I don’t want to feel like I’m in the business meeting with people from Tokyo while celebrating my friends’ marriage.” 

“Wear the blue one,” Nina simply stated. She couldn’t fully agree with his sentiment about the black suit, not that she understood anything about engineering collaborations with the Japanese, because she did not mind at all looking at Gastón in a suit. He looked way too good in business casual, or any kind of other formal wear. “I’ll have to call Mora, because I don’t have anything for an actual winter wedding. It’s probably going to be quite cold.”

“Just make sure it has a zipper on it.”

“You have a preference now?” Nina asked Gastón playfully. She knew exactly what he meant by that.

“What if I do?” he answered her glance. Her hand started running up his bare arm—He had thrown on just a T-shirt after the shower. “You know that Mora doesn’t look at me normally anymore.”

“Then maybe you should learn how to open buttons,” Nina continued, “She knows that they don’t fall off my clothes just naturally when she has to fix them.” 

“I’m working on it…but only way I can do that, is by—” Their faces had gotten steadily closer as the back and forth had gone on. Now there were only millimeters, and she could feel his breath on her face, “—practice.”

Newton whined as he jumped off the couch before he was completely squeezed between them. He was probably giving them a very judgmental look from the floor, but neither Gastón nor Nina didn’t see it, because they were so wrapped up in each other. 

They were only interrupted by a phone ringing on the coffee table. 

“We really should get a soundproof safe where we can put those into,” Gastón huffed annoyed, “We get way too many mystery phone calls at very inconvenient times. That’s yours. Who is it?”

“Luna,” Nina grabbed her phone, “Who would have thought? No more mystery relatives. Well, I actually don’t have ones”

“I swear Luna and Matteo have some kind of sixth sense for extremely poor timing,” Gastón shook his head, “Mark my words, if we end up not being able to have children, it’s because they are not giving us the chance.”

“I’ll get rid of her as quickly as I can,” Nina laughed. Gastón was right in some sense. Luna was 25 and a grown woman, but she still had retained her never-ending positivity and innocence… She did sometimes have a habit of not realizing that she had just walked in on something. 

Luna was calling a video, but Nina didn’t really deem it necessary to get up. Hopefully, this wasn’t going to be that long of a conversation. 

“Hey!” She pressed the button and Luna's face became visible on the screen.

“Hii!” Luna was clearly beaming, “So, guess what?”

“What?” Had Luna called to play charades?

“Guess where me and Matteo are spending the New Years?” Nina shared a glance with Gastón. Either Luna and Matteo had checked their mail, or this was a huge coincidence. 

“Well, where?” 

“No, you have to guess.” Luna continued. 

“Okay,” Nina rolled her eyes at her. She wasn’t that in the mood for a long-winded guessing game, especially since she knew the answer. “France?”

“How did you know?” Luna exclaimed.

“This came in the mail,” Nina showed the envelope on the camera. 

“Told you they had gotten it as well! “Matteo’s voice came from the background. 

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to assume!” Luna yelled back. 

“You do realize right that we actually kind of know Oliver and Flor better than you do.” Gastón joined in the conversation, “Or at least more recently.”

“Hey! I know my cousin better than anybody!” Matteo appeared next to Luna on screen. 

“I mean, she’s getting married so somebody might know her pretty well…”

“Yeah, I prefer not to think about that.”

Nina propped her phone up on the coffee table, as this conversation seemed to become a four-way one. She cuddled on Gastón’s side, and he wrapped his arm back around her waist. This was probably gonna take a while after all, so no reason why she shouldn’t be comfortable. 

“Well, we were actually also wondering if you had gotten the invite, since they aren’t giving us that much time,” Gastón continued, “We should look at the accommodations. It's probably easiest to arrive a day before.”

“Yeah,” Matteo was rubbing his neck, “I get why they’re having it in France, since that's where they live, but I gotta admit, this does feel like a bit of a hassle to go all the way there for just two nights...” 

“Well, we’re not in any kind of hurry to leave,” Nina started saying. “It’s winter there, so there could be lot of things to see that you don’t in Summer.” 

“Wait,” Matteo looked pensive for a moment, “What if we went skiing, on the Alps.”

“That’s a really good idea!” Luna exclaimed, “Although, I have never skied… But it looks so much fun. Lets do it!”

“We actually never have been skiing together,” Gastón noted to Matteo, “I often went to Canada with my parents, when I was younger. But I agree, that’s a good plan. We’re all on vacation anyway, so we could just find a ski resort in the alps and stay a week or two. What do you think?”

“Well, I also have never skied—” Nina answered the question directed at her, “—nor will I. It seems dangerous. Anyway, I like the plan, there are other things to do for me.”

“Oh my god! We’re going skiing! I’m gonna see snow!” Luna had gotten up and was doing some sort of dance. 

“In this case, we need to plan even more,” Gastón piped up again, “You should come over tomorrow so we can get all of this sorted.”

***

“If we want to go to the Zillertal Arena, Gerlost is the closest town, so we could stay there.” Matteo was crouching down toward the laptop.

He was glad that they had come up with this plan. He hadn’t been skiing in a while, and since they were in Europe anyway, why not take everything out of it. Obviously, he was super happy for Flor too and excited for the wedding as well.

“I don’t know,” Gastón seemed to shake his head, “Do we wanna stay in a hotel? I mean could we Airbnb a villa or something?”

“Uuuuu. Good idea!” Luna jumped up from the floor where she had been trying to get Newton to give her a paw… He hadn’t fully mastered obeying someone outside of Gastón and Nina yet.

“That was in Austria, right?” Nina looked up as well, “What’s the closest airport?” 

“Innsbruck,” Gastón answered, “It’s about an hour away. We do have to connect from Charles de Gaullen. Anyways, then we can rent a car from the airport and just drive—” 

His phone started ringing. 

“Really?” Gastón grabbed his phone from his pocket. “I’m sorry, but I have to answer this. I’m still on call for a couple of hours.” He got up from the couch, “Gastón Perida.” 

“You sure you don’t want to try skiing?” Luna had joined Nina back on the floor with Newton while Matteo kept scrolling on all the different booking sites. 

“I have never done it before.” Nina shook her head and held her hand out for Newton, “Newton, give me the paw.” The dog obliged immediately, giving his left paw to Nina's hand, “Good boy. You see, it’s about the tone of voice and eye contact. Treats also help.”

“I have never done it either,” Luna grabbed a couple of treats from the coffee table and threw them in the air while Newton caught them. “But it seems like so much fun. I need to take lessons, we could do it together. Who’s the bestest boy in the world?” She sunk her fingers in Newton’s fur to ruffle it aggressively, “Give me a paw?”

Newton just sat down next to Luna wagging his tail and looking at her confused. 

“Why isn’t it working?”

“You’re too easy target,” Matteo laughed from the couch, “You give way too many treats as it is, so he doesn’t see the need to work for them.”

“Anyway, back to topic,” Luna sighed while Newton was now licking her hand, and begging for more treats, “Nina, you never know if you don’t try.” 

“I can live with never knowing if can I ski or not,” Nina stated, “I’m not athletic, nor do I enjoy it. I would just get myself hurt.” 

“Luna, don’t push it.” Matteo said before Luna was able to open her mouth again. “What’s taking Gastón so long?” He craned his neck to look towards the guest room of Gastón and Nina’s house, where he had gone to take his call.

“I don’t know,” Nina looked at the same direction, her face showing mild concern. “He doesn’t usually get calls that take this long while on call. Hopefully, there isn’t actually something really wrong, that he needs to start working on.” 

Just as Nina had finished saying that, the door opened back up and Gastón walked out of the room. To Matteo, it kind of looked like he was shaking his head slightly and looking annoyed. 

“What’s wrong?” Nina got up from the floor at once and walked up to Gastón. If Matteo had slightly sensed that something wasn’t right with Gastón after that phone call, Nina obviously had picked on it immediately. 

“There is nothing wrong, exactly,” Gastón sighed, “I don’t necessarily have good news.” 

“What is it?” Matteo frowned as Gastón and Nina came to sit back on the couch. 

“So, the call I just got was not from a panicked client who is worried about some bridge structure,” Gastón started, “It was our international representation and relations coordinator.” 

“Okay, I don’t know who that is, but sounds important,” Luna remarked from the floor. 

“What did they want with you?” Nina asked while ruffling Gastón’s hair. It was a comforting and affectionate gesture that, Matteo was pretty sure, she had adopted from Isla. 

“Well, thats the thing.” Gastón continued, “I am being sent on the behalf of Castillo Corporations to give a series of lectures about our work to Aalto University.” 

“Isn’t that an honor?” Luna asked again from the floor. “I love talking about skating to kids.”

“It would be,” Gastón sighed, “If this wasn’t going to happen on January 2nd, 2027.” 

“Two days after the wedding?” Matteo asked shocked. 

“Where is Aalto University?” Nina questioned, “You said it was an international affair. That’s not in Buenos Aires.”

“Aalto University is the most prominent engineering, business, and art university in Finland.” 

“Finland?”

“Where is that?” Luna was making a lot of pondering faces, while Newton next to her was just staring at everyone. 

“In northern Europe,” Gastón answered, “In between Sweden and Russia…but this means that alps are gonna be a bust, since I have to fly straight to Finland after the wedding. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Nina had taken his hand, “But, are they allowed to do this? You are supposed to be on vacation.”

“They are if all the bases are covered,” Gastón nodded, “I’m compensated for the lost day, getting paid, and getting a bonus. Apparently, this is really important…and I’m an assistant engineer, the most junior at that, in the team. I have not even been on the field for five years. I have no basis to refuse.”

“They’re not giving you a lot of warning,” Matteo frowned.

“From what I understood, there was an unexpected change of circumstances. PR usually handles all kinds of school exhibitions when it comes to possible career presentations, but apparently, these lectures are part of some sort of summit with a bunch of different companies. I need to attend an assembly with them, representing us and our work against the climate change and stuff. PR rep can’t do that, it needs to be somebody who is actually working on the stuff, meaning an executive team member, and apparently all the higher-ups unanimously wanted me to do it.”

“Aren’t you a higher-up?” Luna questioned.

“If I start explaining the bureaucratic hierarchy, we will be here till the wedding. I don’t even get it myself sometimes.” Gastón sighed again, “The bottom line is, that this foils our plans.” 

“Your work doesn’t need to stop us,” Luna piped up. She had that look in her eyes, which signified that she had had an idea. 

“I don’t think any of us want to be flying back and forth between France, Finland and the Alps.” 

“I didn’t mean the Alps, or whatever,” Luna jumped up from the floor to a standing position. “Why can’t we all just go to Finland? It’s still a European country, is it not? Can’t we ski there?”

“Actually, I think we can…” Matteo muttered, and he understood what Luna meant, “It’s really in the North, they surely have snow.” 

“Okay, I looked it up,” Nina had been on her phone, “Finland is in the Nordic regions and its largest northernmost region is called Lapland. It’s a huge tourism destination, for example for skiing. The Artic Circle runs across it… and it’s where the Santa lives.” 

“Really!?!” Luna turned around. 

“Let her explain,” Matteo pulled Luna on the couch. 

“The really popular ski resort there is called Saariselkä,” Nina read, “It’s a little less commercial, than other ones…apparently… We could probably find and nice Villa there where we could stay and there would be a lot to see. And… was the University close to the capital?”

“I think so,” Gastón frowned, “It was somewhere called Otaniemi, which was in somewhere called Espoo. I need to look those up, but it sounded like in the capital area, like close to the airport.”

“So, we can just look around at the capital, while you’re in your conference.”

“That’s settled,” Matteo clapped his hands, “We fly to Finland after the wedding, Gastón does his thing and then have a fun vacation.” 

“Yeah,” Gastón was nodding again, “Although, I’m just a little worried about the Jet lag. I think we should go to France as soon as possible after Christmas, just to get used to the European time, to actually be presentable at places.” 

“That makes sense,” Nina nodded, “We can't leave until Boxing Day is over, and then we need time to pack, so the 28th? It will be a long flight.”

“I apparently get all the necessary information on Monday, so we can’t do any booking on the Finland’s front before it, but we should get the flight and the hotel to France now, so the ball is rolling.” 

***

“I swear that’s the case,” Ambar said as she sipped her drink while she and Luna were sitting on the terrace of her and Simon’s house. Luna had eaten dinner with them as Matteo had a meeting with his management, “She doesn’t usually act like that. There has to be a reason.”

“How do you know?” Luna grabbed another cookie from the table. Simon and Ambar had gotten really into baking together recently, “These are super good.”

“Thanks!” Simon said as he walked back out and sat next to Ambar on the swing, “We asked the recipe from Monica.”

“I just have this gut feeling.” Ambar continued. “Watch me be right.” 

“Moving away from that topic,” Simon grabbed his drink, “What are you and Matteo doing for Christmas?”

“Nothing special. Haven’t decided yet. Sofia and Alexander are apparently going to be in Italy, so I guess we could go stay with Mom and dad in the mansion” Luna shrugged, “Uuuu, are you going to Mexico?”

Both Simon and Ambar shook their heads.

“We need to try to make that happened at some point,” Ambar looked at Simon, “It feels so unfair to your parents that we’re never there for Christmas.”

“Trust me, its chaotic” Simon laughed, “We’re probably better off here.”

“I don’t mind some chaos.” Ambar smirked at him. “We really should try and make the effort. They must miss you.”

“I know,” Simon nodded, “I mean it would be nice, but a bit of a hassle. We can try next year.”

“Thats a deal.” Ambar smiled. 

“Oh,” Luna’s eyes widened in some kind of realization, “I didn’t tell you yet. We’re going to France for the New Years!” 

“France?” Simon questioned, “How did you come up with that? What you’re gonna do?”

“We’re going to a wedding.” Luna explained while pulling picture of the invite up on her phone.” 

“That’s great!” Ambar took a look at the invite, “Flor? She was Matteo’s cousin, right? And… Did you know the groom too? Sounds familiar.”

“Well, not really, but kind of,” Luna looked at her drink, “Gastón and Nina know him…”

“Oh right,” A realization hit Ambar, “He was Gastón’s roommate. I almost forgot, it has been so long. This makes sense though, she caught Nina’s bouquet and everything.” 

They had spent considerable time with Gastón and Nina’s group from Oxford during the days leading to and after their wedding, but that had been quite a long ago now. They had gotten along well, and Ambar was actually a little sad that they had not been able to get to know each other a little better. 

“So, four of you are going there together?” Simon asked. 

“Of course, they are,” Ambar kept looking at the invite, “Wasn’t it Gastón and Nina who made them get together in the first place?”

“I think it was,” Luna nodded, and started laughing “Oh, I remember when Matteo found out… It was so funny. Before I forget, I need to tell you about this awesome plan we came up with.”

“What plan?”

“Wait for it…” Luna paused for suspense, “We’re going skiing! Since we’re already at Europe.”

“You are going skiing?” Ambar looked at Luna questionly “Have you even skied before?”

“Nope,” Luna spun on her chair, “But it looks so much fun… I thought I might try a snow board, or why not both?”

“It is fun,” Ambar nodded.

“When have you been skiing?” Simon turned to Ambar. 

“When I was younger, Sharon had often business with some Ski resort people. I got to do what I wanted, so I signed myself up for some private lessons and then spent my day on the slopes. She didn’t care, only took care of the bill.” Ambar explained, “Then we stopped, which was a shame. That place was always one of the more fun vacations I took with her. All that said, it was really fun and quite similar to skating.”

“Well, I have never skied, or done any other winter sport,” Simon seemed to shiver from a thought. “I have never seen snow.”

“Me neither,” Luna jumped up for a moment, “I’m so excited. I wanna make a snowman so badly.”

“You didn’t tell us where you we’re going skiing.”

“Oh, I didn’t?” Luna sat back down and started talking with very fast pace, “We thought about the Alps at first, but Gastón got a call from his job, so we couldn’t do that so now we’re going to Lapland.” 

“Wait, Luna, slow down,” Simon interrupted, “So you couldn’t go to the Alps. What does Gastón’s job have to do with anything?”

“Because he got called to do something at Aalto University right after the wedding.” 

“Aalto University?” Ambar questioned, “Isn’t that in Finland?”

“Yes,” Luna nodded, “That’s why we’re all going there and then we’ll go far off north from there and stay somewhere called Saariselkä, where we can ski.”

“Now I’m jealous,” Ambar hummed. She had met couple of finnish exchange students while in law school, “I had to take couple of business classes at UCA, and there were couple of exchange students from that school specifically. All of the countries up north of Europe are intriguing, not the mention beautiful. Is Gastón doing some lectures there or…?”

“I don’t know, something like it,” Luna shrugged, “Ask him.”

“I will,” Ambar continued, “That school has very high rankings on digitalization and sustainable innovations.”

“Well, it sounds like you have a lot of fun planned,” Simon took a bite of his fifth cookie. 

“Simon, we don’t have anything planned for New year’s and after, right?” Ambar suddenly asked. “You’re taking a break with the band?”

“Yeah,” Simon nodded, “Pedro was the one to insist on the full vacation for the summer. Why?”

“Just that…” Ambar continued with a pensative voice, before she turned to look at Luna, “...any chance we could come with you?”

“With us?”

“Yes,” Ambar continued, “Not to France obviously, since we’re not invited, but we could meet up with you once you’re heading up to the north.”

“You mean we would go to ski too?” Simon looked at her quizzingly, “You realize that I have never done it right?”

“Of course, I know that darling,” Ambar patted Simon on his arm, “But Luna’s taking lessons, and so would I need too, so we could all do it together. It’s so much fun, almost like skating, but just down a slope. You’d like it. Right, Luna?”

“Yeah, of course!” Luna exclaimed, “Simon, it would be so much fun. I’m sure you’ll like it!”

“Well, okay then. This is a battle I can’t win.” Simon laughed and shook his head. 

“So, I think I should call Nina now,” Ambar got up and grabbed her phone from the table, “just to make sure they’re okay with this.”

“I’m sure they will be.”

“But, it’s good still to ask.”

Ambar walked back inside and opened the door to the side room that Simon used for playing music.

“Hey! Ambar.” Nina answered her phone at once. The audio quality sounded like she was somewhere out, with footsteps and background noise, and talking through air pods. 

“Hey! Is it a bad time?”

“No. I just got out of a meeting with my publishers, which ran a bit late. Just heading home now.” Nina answered as the footsteps kept going, “What’s up?”

“So, Luna told us about your plans,” Ambar continued, “That you’re going to Finland.”

“Yeah, Gastón got a mission from work to go there.”

“Must have been an honor for him. Getting to go represent the company in that scale, it’s pretty big.”

“It is, and I know he appreciates it in a way. The timing could have been better, though.”

“Well, about that.” Ambar started again, “Like I said, Luna told us about the plan for skiing at Saariselkä… and I wanted to ask if you have nothing against that me and Simon would be coming too? I haven’t skied in a long time, but I have wanted to get back into it for a while now. Plus, I think Simon could use some exposure to cold air.”

“Of course, we don’t have anything against it,” Nina’s voice said on the other end, “It would be amazing if you came too.”

“That’s great. What day was it when you’re gonna be heading up to Lapland?” 

“We’re gonna finish the timeline today, as Gastón gets the details. Your timing is actually perfect, because we haven’t booked anything yet.” 

“I can help with that.”

“You want to talk to Gastón about that, he has been coordinating this the most.”

***

“Yeah, two nights at Otaniemi, and then we’ll fly to Rovaniemi,” Gastón recapped for Matteo, as they, plus their wives were sitting in Gastón and Nina’s living room one late October evening. 

“Ambar and Simon are meeting us at the airport when we fly to Lapland,” Nina explained, “We can go look around at the capital Helsinki while Gastón is giving those lectures at the Aalto University.”

“Well, you seem to have it all under control.” Matteo leaned back on the couch, “Remind me to travel with you more often.”

“I don’t know how I can wait two months!” Luna exclaimed from the floor where she had been playing with Newton. “By the way, is Newton going to that doggy-daycare again for that? We will be gone for almost three weeks.”

“No,” Gastón answered, “Delfi and Pedro will be taking care of him.”

“Delfi and Pedro?” Matteo questioned.

“Delfi has had dogs her whole life,” Nina explained, “She has sometimes gone with me to walk him when we have been talking about her producing that book trailer for me.”

“I do wonder if they are planning on getting a dog themselves,” Gastón pondered. “Pedro said something about it being good practice. Who knows what that’s about.”

“Well, that would be a bit odd,” Luna continued, “I mean, Ambar said that she swears that Delfi is pregnant so…”

“Really?” Nina questioned, “Huh, well that would actually make sense. She has seemed a bit tired, but we shouldn’t really speculate on that. It’s not our business.”

“They will probably tell us when it is its time,” Matteo started speaking, “Not like we are on the godparent short list.”

“I think Jazmin has the dips on that,” Luna noted, “Ambar did say that she is willing to go to war about it.”

“Poor Delfi and Pedro.”

“I hope we get to know before I start Christmas shopping,” Luna said while scratching Newton behind his ear. “I can already come up with so many cute things to give them.”

“Luna, it is October.”

“Yeah, so I only have two months to do the shopping and wrapping,” Luna countered. 

“Don’t even speak to me about Christmas shopping yet,” Nina sighed, “Year by year it gets harder. It feels like everyone already has everything, especially after all the wedding gifts. I don’t even know what to ask myself.”

“Probably something everyone has trouble with as we are supposed to be so called adults now or something,” Matteo sighed too. 

“Uuuuh! Let’s play a game!” Luna said so excitedly that she scared Newton and made him jump from her lap onto the sofa and curl next to Nina while eyeing Luna judgmentally. “Uups, sorry.”

“Should we be scared?” Gastón joked.

“No,” Luna roller her eyes. “What is the best gift you remember getting as a kid? Maybe that can give us some inspiration for gifts this year. Hold up a second, I’ll text Simon and Ambar that as well… you know what, I’ll just put that in the group chat and tell everyone to record a video about it so we can all know each other’s… okay that is done… So, who goes first?” Luna clicked her phone’s record button and started a video.

“Uhmmm, I can.” Matteo spoke hesitantly and Luna turned her phone towards him.

“Go ahead, it is already recording.”

“Uhm… okay,” Matteo started, “When I was nine, the last Christmas… before Mom died, I had just started piano lessons because dad wanted me to do that instead of playing the guitar. But they still gave me my first guitar as a Christmas present and mom asked me to sign it, and of course she didn’t know, none of us did, but she still got to witness my first autograph ever. I think the guitar is somewhere at storage at Dad and Sofia’s place right now.”

“We need to go find it!” Luna exclaimed, “I wanna see it!”

“We can go do that, but I do not know where it actually is.”

“No problem! Nothing is impossible to Luna Valente!” Luna stopped the recording and pointed the camera towards Nina. “Nina you are next!”

“Okay.” Nina stared at the camera blackly for a second, “Uhm, so. Well, this will sound really cliche, but it was a book. It was the Christmas right after Mon and Dad had finally gotten divorced… I remember it because that really was the first Christmas, I remember having some peace and them not fighting, since they were not together, obviously. Mom and Dad, both gave me the same book as a presents, I didn’t tell them that, obviously because I didn’t want them to fight. But to me it just kind of symbolized that they were on some small level on the same page, by both knowing what I wanted, even if they did not know how to communicate and would not for many years.”

“What book was that?” Gastón asked and reached for her hand. Newton had crawled on Nina’s lap and had dosed off quietly snoring. 

“I don’t remember,” Nina answered. “It was children’s book, and I definitely didn’t take it to Oxford. One of the copies is probably still at dad’s. I think the mom’s copy got lost in some box when we moved to Mora’s. I can ask but it’s probably lost forever.”

“So, your parents still don’t know about that?” Luna asked from behind the camera.

“No, they don’t, and I don’t think I will ever tell them.” Nina said and fiddled with Newton’s ear, “Well that was that.”

“I’ll go last.” Luna started another video on her phone. “So Gastón, your turn.”

“Okay, mine also involves my parents. It was when they gave me my first camera.” Gastón started. “It was our first Christmas in the house they still live in. I didn’t know it at the time, I was nine or something, since I was on third grade, but that was the time they really had started having money. They gave me this small digital camera, and I did not know how to use it and I thought it was stupid. Like I said: I was nine. Anyways, we actually went to Canada that year for the New Years and that's where I actually learned to ski. There dad took me out and actually taught me how to use the camera and told me that: even if I didn’t appreciate it then, it could bring a lot of things in my life. You all know how Mom and Dad met at the photography course at university, so that’s what he obviously meant, and now I know that he was right.” He scooted closer to Nina on the couch and wrapped his arm around her waist. 

“Aww, that was cute,” Luna squealed, “Okay, Matteo take this.” she threw her phone to Matteo. “My turn.”

“Okay, it is recording.” Matteo said and directed the phone towards Luna who was still sitting on the floor.

“I don’t fully remember this, since I was five, I think, but Mom and Dad told me that I was always drawn towards all kind of sun and star things.” Luna started, “Well, now we know why, but at the time they just thought it was cute. So, for the Christmas that years they got me this huge sun shaped pillow. And apparently what I said when I got it was: but why is it the sun? I am the moon!! But the pillow was so cute and me and Simon had so much fun jumping on it.”

“What happened to it?” Matteo asked.

“Yeah…” Luna laughed, “We kind of broke it with Simon…”

***

“...and that’s how I got my first guitar.” Simon stopped talking and Ambar pressed the button on the phone to stop the recording.

“There and sent.” She handed Simon his phone back. “Luna and her ideas.”

“I mean this is a good idea,” Simon scrolled through the chat, “Maybe little early, but better be prepared. Your turn.” He pointed the phone at Ambar.

“I don’t know what I am supposed to say to that,” Ambar looked down, “I spent my childhood with Sharon. I need some time to think about the best gift.” She blew out of breath, “She never really cared to make sure I got something I liked… I know, I know, I’ll bring it up to my therapist when I go next.”

“Oh well, there is no hurry with these,” Simon put his phone on the sofa.

“You know what we do need to hurry with?” Ambar opened her laptop. “It’s goig to be up to -30 degrees at Saariselkä.”

“Uuuf,” Simon leaned back on the couch, “I’m gonna become a living snowman.” 

“Not if we get the proper gear,” Ambar rolled her eyes at him, “We’ll rent the skiing gear and snowsuits from there, but we both need proper winter jackets, preferably two, lighter and heavier ones. Then gloves, shoes and hats, the list goes on. This will be fun.”

“If we don’t freeze to death.” 

“You have lived way too long next to the beach—” Ambar laughed when both of their phones dinged. “—Is that from the group chat?”

“Yeah, it’s Delfi,” Simon frowned looking at the group chat, “It’s a video with a title: Our best Christmas gift will be arriving a little later. What does that mean?”

“GIMME IT!” Ambar grabbed the phone from Simon and looked at the chat, “Oh my god! I knew it.”

“It might not—”

“What else could it possibly mean?” Ambar looked at Simon with disbelief, “Lets look at the video.” 

The video was a picture collage of Delfi and Pedro that lasted maybe 15 seconds, until a picture from their wedding faded into a sonogram and a text: “Coming in April.”

“I was right,” Ambar smiled smugly at Simon.

“Have to say that you were,” Simon nodded smiling, “This is amazing. We should call them.”

“Absolutely agree,” Ambar nodded as well, “So we can get the godparent situation sorted as well… Although, Jazmin probably edited this video, which would mean that she knew.”

“Darling, I told you before,” Simon placed his hand on Ambar’s knee, “It’s not our decision. Delfi and Pedro have the right to pick, we’ll get our chance later. Plus, we already have a goddaughter.”

“Valeria is your goddaughter, not mine.”

“What’s mine is yours. That’s kind of how marriage works.”

***

“Nina! Look how cute this is!!” Luna jumped up while holding up a red and green Christmas onesie, “We should get these for Delfi and Pedro.”

“It is cute,” Nina reached out to touch it, “but feel how rough it is. It should be softer, and maybe the Christmas theme is a little too on the nose.” 

“Argh, this is hard when we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl,” Luna groaned and put the onesie back.

It was late November and Luna and Nina were at a local mall doing Christmas shopping. They had gotten gifts for everyone else, but had left Delfi and Pedro as the last ones. 

“Lot of colors can be considered as gender neutral,” Nina pointed out, “As long as we don’t get pink. Let's look at some light blue ones for example.”

“Isn’t it exciting!” Luna kept gushing, “They are really having a baby. First ones of us to have one.”

“It definitely is,” Nina nodded.

“Just think, maybe someday our kids will be besties, just like us,” Luna grabbed Nina’s arm.

“It’s definitely possible,” Nina laughed, “But we’ll never probably going to control the timing that much. We can’t know if our kids are going to be the same age.”

“Awww, look at that!” Luna dashed towards a display, specifically toward a white romper with grey sleeves and blue giraffes on it. “I’m getting them this one. Uuu, maybe we could buy some more from Finland, so we have baby shower gifts ready.”

“There is no babyshower planned.” 

“There definitely will be,” Luna had dashed toward another display, “if Ambar and Jazmin can help it. Oh, did I tell you yet how many hats I have bought for our trip? They’re so cute.”

{}

So, it depends on the platform that you are reading this on, how common knowledge it is that I am in fact Finnish. So obviously I have wanted for the longest time to write a story where our characters go to Finland, and because I am pretty predictable, obviously they would go to Lapland and explore the beauty that our winter wonderland really is. This part was obviously mostly set up, so the story itself will get going little more in the next part. BUt hopefully, you enjoyed Newton's most prominent appearance to this day in my story. One more note, I am a former student of Aalto University, (I changed majors so I switched colleges) so that's why I chose it for this story. However I did have to bend some fact with this, just like with Oxford, there is no classes at the start of January, but that was the date I had to work with to have the wedding for the New Years

[tutuntuntuinen]

Close eyes, breathe in, breathe out

I wrote this today and I'll just leave it here. It's Good Omens fan fiction. It takes place 6 months after S2.

Aziraphale longs for Earth and fears seeing Crowley. Most of the time, he deals with it by closing his eyes and breathing in and out. If you're looking for good dialogue between these two idiots, you're in the wrong place. However, here is a chance for a better future.

I think I'm projecting my own anxiety into this too much. Sorry about that. Also, Englis is not my native language.

Aziraphale had returned to Heaven and was now diligently working as the supreme archangel to make Heaven a better place, all while keeping an eye on Metatron's plans regarding the Second Coming. The beginning had been tough. Aziraphale missed Earth and everything it had offered him for the past 6000 years. Books, pastries, music... and, of course, a certain demon.

During the first week, Aziraphale struggled every second not to rush into the elevator and return to Earth. Soon, avoiding thoughts of returning to Earth became easier as he focused on the tasks assigned to him. None of these tasks concerned the Second Coming; they were mundane, dull, and insignificant. It suited Aziraphale at that moment more than anything. He immersed himself so deeply in them that there was simply no time for thoughts. If Aziraphale lifted his gaze from his papers and looked into the bright emptiness of Heaven, his thoughts immediately returned to Earth, causing him physical pain in his chest and tears welling up in his eyes. So, he immersed himself in his tasks, and when they finished, he begged for more. Anything to avoid thinking. And so, six months passed.

More challenging were the situations where he was asked about Earthly matters. Angels were indeed ignorant of all things related to humans. Once, an angel asked him about the Queen. They wanted to know why her death was such a big deal and how it related to music. The question caused a biological short circuit in Aziraphale's brain. The walls he had built in his mind collapsed one by one like dominoes. He had strongly identified as English, and the death of the queen was, of course, a shocking piece of news. What completed Aziraphale's short circuit and made him rush towards the elevators was the mention of music.

Britain, Queen, Bentley, Crowley... "You are my best friend," "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy," "Don’t Stop Me Now"... Inside the elevator, Aziraphale's mind played snippets of Queen's songs he had heard over the years from Bentley's radio. Midway through the elevator ride, he almost pressed the stop button, realizing he was actually in the elevator and not just imagining it. But it was as if Earth was pulling him, and he kept his hand away. Right then, Heaven didn't matter. When the elevator doors opened, his eyes were so full of tears that he could hardly see ahead. The elevator had manifested itself onto a corner in Soho, and he took the necessary steps to step out. It was his first time on Earth in half a year. The smells of the city, the noise of traffic, and the crowds pushed against him strongly, and the angel stood still. He squeezed his eyes shut and wiped the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand. When he opened his eyes again, he saw his bookstore, Nina's café, and Maggie's record store in the distance. The pain in the angel's chest grew so intense that he almost turned back to the elevator. However, he clenched his fists, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply of London's air. He breathed out and then in again. He repeated it until his hands relaxed, and he could open his eyes once more.

Aziraphale was now breathing calmly and watching the familiar street's bustle relatively calmly. A part of him hoped to see familiar faces on the street, while another part doubted whether his mind could handle another surge of emotions. His stomach churned at the thought that Crowley might turn the corner at any moment. As if fearing this, the angel closed his eyes again and focused on regulating his intensified breathing. He was afraid to open his eyes. He felt around with his hand, found the wall, and leaned against it. What if he opened his eyes and Crowley was right there? What if he wasn’t? Crowley could be anywhere between London and Alpha Centauri. Aziraphale had last seen Crowley standing next to Bentley, watching as he entered the elevator with Metatron. Crowley hadn’t moved, and Aziraphale didn’t know what the demon had done after the elevator doors closed. It had been six months now.

Reality felt much stronger on Earth than in Heaven, and Aziraphale hadn’t been prepared for that. Memories that Aziraphale had actively tried to suppress started leaking through the protective walls built over months. The encounter with Crowley in the bookstore was one of these memories. He wasn’t ready then, and he wasn’t ready now. When would he be ready? Would he ever be? If he could have the conversation again, would he still know what to say? Aziraphale felt his knees giving way, and he sank down against the wall, knees bent.

Was there a version where he could both save the world and be with Crowley?

If Crowley were standing in front of him now, what would he say?

Aziraphale sighed heavily, opened his eyes, and looked up. Crowley wasn’t standing before him, leaning on his car, or walking down the street. Aziraphale wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed, but at least he was calmer. He pushed himself off the wall, stood up. He looked around once more and then stepped back into the elevator and returned to Heaven.

***

The espresso served in a small cup should be enjoyed right away because cooling significantly affects its taste. A small cup of espresso cools down to ice-cold within a minute. The cooling of a mug containing six servings of espresso takes approximately the duration of one angel's mental breakdown.

***

Aziraphale felt better after his visit to Earth, sensing improved self-control. He was relieved that the visit hadn’t caused any repercussions. Apparently, the movements of the supreme archangel weren't closely monitored, and even Gabriel had occasionally visited Earth. Aziraphale sought out the angel who had inquired about the Queen and made it clear to them the distinction between Queen Elizabeth II and the band named Queen. Talking about the subject still stirred a burning sensation in the angel's chest, but it didn't feel as severe as before the visit to Earth. He noticed himself smiling and felt an excited flutter in his stomach as the curious angel posed further questions about music. Aziraphale decided that Heaven needed a record player. And perhaps books as well... he knew where he would retrieve those from.

To keep himself in check, Aziraphale decided to limit his visits to Earth to twice a month. It would be enough to have something to look forward to all the time, yet little enough for him to continue his work and focus on why he had come to Heaven in the first place. Before his next visit to Earth, Aziraphale had made a list of things he intended to acquire. He documented the music and book lists in Heaven's official records as educational material. This time, as Aziraphale stepped into the elevator, he was much calmer than before. He straightened his bowtie and adjusted his waistcoat as the elevator descended, but as Earth approached, the tension became almost unbearable. What if Crowley were waiting behind the elevator doors? Aziraphale shook his head, feeling paranoid. The demon had no reason to wait in front of Heaven and Hell's elevator doors on an ordinary Wednesday morning. Still, the angel held his breath as the doors opened and sighed when they revealed the typical morning rush and crowd of people in Soho.

Aziraphale headed straight for Maggie's record store. He had a list of records he wanted Maggie to procure for him. The angel had spent much time compiling a list of the top hundred records that would serve as the foundation for Heaven's record collection. He had a similar list for books. As Aziraphale reached the entrance of the record store, he took a deep breath, straightened his posture, and stepped inside. He had anticipated Maggie's reaction, but the screaming, almost leaping woman over the counter surprised him nonetheless. Maggie hurried over to Aziraphale, opening and closing her mouth but unable to produce a single word. Eventually, she hugged Aziraphale tightly, wiping tears from her eyes after breaking away.

"You..." Maggie began. "...you've come back?" she continued, her voice uncertain.

"I came to pick up some records," Aziraphale replied, managing to keep his tone steady and business-like. He retrieved a white paper from his pocket. He noticed it was trembling slightly in his hands and focused on breathing in and out again. Emotions were rising again, but he wanted to keep them in check. If he let them take over, he would lose his ability to function and would have to return to Heaven before sorting out all his affairs.

"When... how long... have you...?" Maggie continued to stumble over her words, unable to form a complete sentence. Aziraphale smiled at the woman who hadn't changed much during his absence. The angel's throat burned as he considered asking about Crowley, but he decided it wasn't the right time. Not yet. He looked into Maggie's eyes and shook his head. Maggie gazed back at the angel and understood that it wasn't the time for questions.

"If it's possible for you to gather the records listed here, I'll come to collect them in two weeks," the angel said calmly. "Do you think that's achievable?"

Maggie looked at Aziraphale, visibly calmer now, and then took the paper, examining it. She quickly read through it and then looked back at the angel. "Don't you already have most of these?" she asked, confused.

"They're not precisely for me, they're educational materials," the angel responded. Maggie furrowed her brows but decided not to inquire further. Aziraphale had been away for a long time, and Maggie didn't know what had happened during that time. She only knew what the locals talked about. She also knew that her and Nina's intervention regarding Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship hadn’t resulted in the desired outcome; something unpleasant had happened. Maggie looked into Aziraphale's eyes, took his hand, and squeezed it reassuringly. The angel startled but looked at Maggie, and she noticed sorrow in his gaze. However, Aziraphale smiled, squeezed Maggie's hand, and nodded.

"I'll come to pick up the records in two weeks," he said and left the record store. Maggie watched him go but then began going through the list, searching for the records.

***

Aziraphale was mentally breathless after stepping out of the record shop. He had been preoccupied with the possibility of Crowley suddenly appearing from around the corner, and hadn't considered what he would say to other people he knew. Just before leaving, he had contemplated stopping by Nina's café, but now the thought seemed impossible. Maggie had understood from Aziraphale's expression alone that he wasn't up for answering questions, but Nina surely wouldn't give up until she had received a detailed account of the events of the past six months. The angel briskly walked past the café towards the bookstore, grasped the door handle, and slipped inside. The bookstore felt familiar and quiet. Aziraphale stood in the entrance for a moment, looking around. He had expected the place to stir painful memories and quickly had to shut his eyes to protect himself from them. Leaning against the wall, he focused on breathing again. Soon, however, he heard footsteps coming from the direction of the counter and opened his eyes. Muriel had paused in the middle of the room, staring at the other angel with their mouth agape and eyes wide.

"Are you alright?" the angel asked, concerned, taking a few steps closer. Aziraphale straightened up and smiled. He focused on Muriel and only Muriel, avoiding looking at all those places where he had spent time with Crowley. Or that corner where Crowley had stood when Aziraphale had told him about his departure to Heaven and Crowley's place by his side. He also absolutely did not look at the spot in the middle of the room where Muriel was standing right now... where... Aziraphale felt his bowtie tightening around his neck, and he coughed, trying to loosen it. He took a deep breath.

"Everything's fine," he said. "I came to place an order for books."

"Unfortunately, all the books are currently out of stock," Muriel replied, their face serious. Aziraphale stared at the other angel for a moment and then glanced around. The shelves were filled with books, as if nothing had been touched in half a year.

"Ah, I see... I understand," Aziraphale replied, and he felt a small smile creeping onto his lips. He suddenly felt like hugging the angel but settled for warmly smiling instead. "Good job!"

"Thank you," Muriel replied, smiling, pride in their voice. They rocked back and forth on their heels with their hands behind their back.

"I won't be taking books from this shop; I want to place an order with a certain collaborator. The contact details are in the desk drawer," Aziraphale explained and walked towards the writing desk. Muriel watched him go and made no move to stop him. Apparently, Aziraphale still held the proprietor's rights in this store. He fetched his address book from the drawer and then sat down, writing the address on an envelope. He took out a list of the chosen books from his pocket, put the list into the envelope, and wrote an accompanying letter explaining the details of the order. Throughout the entire writing process, Muriel stood in the middle of the room, observing Aziraphale's activities. When the letter was finished, Aziraphale walked over to Muriel.

"Thank you for taking good care of the shop," he said to Muriel, smiling, and patted them on the shoulder.

"I couldn't do this alone," to Aziraphale's surprise, Muriel replied. Muriel no longer looked towards Aziraphale but out of the window. Aziraphale turned to look, but he didn't see anyone there.

"Who..." Aziraphale started but then shook his head. "No, don't..." he stepped back. "Good job, see you later," he muttered and continued stepping back out of the bookstore. He opened the door, stepped onto the bookstore steps, and saw in front of him the black Bentley. Leaning on the black car was Crowley, who was looking straight at Aziraphale, arms crossed. Sunglasses covered the demon's eyes, and his expression was serious. Aziraphale was close to losing consciousness. His legs felt like they were giving way, and he leaned against the bookstore door. His heart was pounding harder than ever, and the burning sensation in his chest was almost unbearable. It felt like his brain was shutting down block by block, and his only escape was to shut his eyes again.

"Are you secretly visiting Earth again?" Crowley asked in a low voice devoid of any emotion. Again? Aziraphale swallowed, feeling exposed in front of Crowley. He dared not open his eyes, not to face Crowley's condemning gaze. The angel focused on breathing again. If he kept his eyes closed and focused only on breathing, would the outside world cease to exist?

"Come on, let's go inside," Crowley's voice suddenly sounded right next to Aziraphale, and he felt the demon grip his elbow. Aziraphale flinched, straightened up, and opened his eyes. Crowley didn't look towards him but leaned to open the door next to the angel and pushed him inside the bookstore. Muriel made a small startled sound upon noticing the duo at the door.

"Muriel," Crowley said in a tense tone, and before he could continue further, Muriel nodded and hurried out of the bookstore. Every limb of Aziraphale felt like it was made of wood. He couldn't imagine moving, and his head was buzzing. The demon still held onto the angel's elbow, guiding him deeper into the bookstore and onto a sofa. Crowley himself sat in an armchair, crossed his arms, and casually rested one leg over the other. Aziraphale glanced at him; sunglasses covered his eyes, and his expression remained serious. Aziraphale quickly averted his gaze and shut his eyes again. It was silent for a long time. Aziraphale felt himself calming down again. He opened his eyes and looked towards the demon. Crowley stared back at him through his glasses. The sun shone through the bookstore window at an angle that allowed Aziraphale to see the demon's yellow eyes. It was impossible to say how much time passed. They just silently stared at each other. Aziraphale wished more than anything that Crowley would say something, but he knew it wouldn't happen. This time, Aziraphale had to make the first move. The staring continued for a while longer. Then Aziraphale opened his mouth. However, he couldn't say anything. Crowley's expression flickered, and he raised his eyebrows slightly. Aziraphale swallowed, looked deep into the demon's eyes, and asked softly and uncertainly:

"Is there a version where we could be together and still save the world?"

Crowley blinked and looked past Aziraphale out of the window for a moment. The demon sighed, and with the exhalation, all stiffness and tension disappeared as he sank into the soft armchair.

"Perhaps..." he replied, his voice not louder than a whisper.

***

And yes, "Is there a version..." is shamelessly stolen from Staged and I regret nothing.

[lgcnina]

✰  ◞  PROJECT ORIGIN AUDITION.           taking a chance in something new … ( solo ).

     nina was still a bit uncertain— for as certainly inclined as she was, her writing providing a solid backbone for every original song scribbled neatly in one of her many private song books, this seemed to be a whole different world. acting, a form of expression the dark haired woman hadn’t ever felt the need to dip her toes into until now, thanks to project origin and the mandatory acting classes implemented by company staff. while the workshops in and of themselves hadn’t been the most daunting of experiences ( nina had actually found herself growing mildly interested when it came to the weeks focused on characterization and musical theater singing techniques ), it all culminated into one unfamiliar path.

     truthfully, could nina say with confidence that she was eager to act in a musical sense? no, no she wasn’t. was nins confident enough to say she was eager to act at all? again, no. however, given her experience with previous rejection, was this an opportunity she’d be fine with slipping though her fingers?

     no, no it wasn’t.

     nina had already been overlooked once before, a clear shot to the future she’d been hoping for tarnished. there wasn’t anymore room for failure at this point.

     —  ✰  —

     “narrowing down different character ideas was a bit more difficult than i originally thought it’d be,” she starts, gaze bouncing between the company staff in charge of overseeing her audition. there was little to feel nervous about, her mind clear and thoughts all planned out to the very best of her capabilities. “prior to this, i hadn’t ever really given any thought to possibly acting in a play or musical, so adapting was something i had to learn quickly— i hope this doesn’t come off as sounding too cocky, but i think i’ve been able to adjust myself rather well.” she’d attended every class, taken part in every activity needed of her, and completed each assignment ( both within the workshops and outside of them ) that’d been laid out for her.

     that all had to count for something.

     “depending on whatever happens today, i feel like my goals and plans could potential alter, which is why i took quite a bit of time preparing my character idea,” she supplies, features neutral as she nods her head. “i wanted to present a character more aligned with who i am in the real world, one i’d be able to portray with my own real life experiences as partial motivation— all the best acting takes from spectacular truths, don’t you think?” nina quirks an eyebrow, lips lifting at the corners very subtly as she speaks. “the title of knight would be one more so kept in social standing, as they are one who doesn’t care to fight— in reality, they’d fall more along the lines of a bard, just with a sword and armor to keep them protected. she’s not one for battle, opting to keep to herself, but rather, the type to help in the set up for the main attraction.”

     “blessed with the affinity for what one might call a sirens call, my knight is able to bring all who hear her to a halt, intriguing them in a way that beckons them to listen. there’s an allure to it, one that allows my knight to take minute control of the situation and alter it to her will for as long as her tune reverberates in the surround space.” nina pauses for a moment, collecting her final thoughts. “there always needs to be someone that works from the shadows, someone to gather intel or conduct meetings in secrecy, and that’s exactly the kind of role she would play— capable in her own right while allowing for main players to swoop in and dish out the finishing blow.”

[yikesharringrove]

Aight now we’ve got the dive

I’ve seen spoilers for this, of Steve diving into the underwater upside down gate and can u just say I CALLED IT.

Wow, it’s almost like an underwater gate is super cinematic and interesting ✌️🤪

Thots: had some great moments, but also had some of my least favorite moments of the season so far.

The California/Utah gang feels so fucking disconnected from everything else. They tried so so hard to shove Suzie into this season and made it a weird comic relief scene when the pen could’ve just had the coordinates hidden in it and they go right to the Nina project

The storylines are becoming so stretched that’s it’s hard for me to keep track of everything.

The whole satanic panic being spurred on by Jason is the worst thing stranger things has ever done. It feels like some cheap riverdale shit and that show sucks for a reason. I think it could’ve been mentioned like Eddie’s intro scene where he’s reading that article, but it’s taken such a focus that I can’t stand.

Steve Harrington is the light of my life but that’s not New information.

Anyway, this episode really lost me in a lot of ways but that ending with Steve being eaten alive was really tense

Notey note notes

Alright maybe now Jason can fucking CHILL

Ope. Nope. The opposite of chill

“How do you expect to stop the devil, if you don’t believe he’s real” maybe it’s my religious trauma talking, but the satanic panic shit needs to END I’m literally so so so over it

There’s just too much happening tbh. This military group looking for el and the team getting els powers back and the team in Hawkins helping max and the basketball boys hunting Eddie and the team going to Utah and the team in Russia and also hopper in Russia im Tired

The brenner redemption is the second to last thing I needed (the last thing I need is Steve/Nancy getting back together)

“You have demons in your past” AND YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR A LOT OF THEM

They are trying to redeem brenner and they couldn’t have been added to give billy a satisfying character arc???? What?????

“At least he can drink himself into feeling better” “that’s what my mom does” I’m WHEEZING nobody is pulling their punches today I see

Not even paying attention to what’s being said bc I’m so focused on Steve eating like a bear out of focus in the background

Steve in the yellow sweatshirt about to steal every scene (and also my heart)

Idk I just. They are constantly making sure Eddie knows they’re there for him and like. No one cared about billy.

THOSE MOUNTAINS HIT ME IN THE FACE LIKE A BRICK I FEEL SICK I KNOW THAT RANGE

Oh god oh Jesus Salt Lake City I’m. No. No.

Not them about to bring this Latinx man into the 80s mormons’ house.

Good shot, kid.

The way they are painting these kids as super weird kinda fucks actually but I just feel sick I’m so anti-Mormon it’s insane

MORTON SALT HELL YEAH

“Father’s kidneys!” Me except it’s my own fucked up kidneys

God this whole scene has but such a bad taste in my mouth

This ally sheedy bitch I hope she leaves the church and thrives

Joyce and Murray threatening yuri with these shitass Russian accents dream team I love them

Not me muting the scene of them eating bc of the chewing sounds ✌️🤢

Every time I see this plinko I think of the horse plinko from a few weeks ago lol

Not this stupid bitch using the royal we fuckin hate him

HES number one. Why is 1 get to be a special Pokémon trainer and the other kids are stuck??

Okay so NOW we get a Kali mention. So Kali did escape when she was like 3????? Bro what?????

“It wasn’t popular until I made it popular” everything Steve says is comedy just looking at him makes me smile a stupid fucking smile (also what is with his pants WHERE are the tight tight little jeans)

Okay but he’s RIGHT

WOW Patrick was targeted bc he’s been abused stranger things killing off ANOTHER abused kid just for the fun of it. Cool.

Goddamn thank god Lucas is getting back to his old self being THE MOST caring and thoughtful person I missed him

Robin SHUT UP do not talk about rekindling old flames NO ONE WANTS STEVE AND NANCY BACK TOGETHER STEVE HAS TOLD YOU THATS HES OVER HER PLS PLS PLS shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I do like robin and Nancy getting closer like this though I think it’s good for them both

“bada bing bada boom” Italian Steve #confirmed

“In your stupid cocky little face” “you just can’t admit that you’re wrong you little butthead” your honor hes everything to me

Not Steve’s hair all slicked back like that WHAT

He’s never looked better

CLAUDIA HENDERSON

Bro Jason literally GO AWAY I fucking can’t with this satanic panic shit I know this is like. How it was but. I hate it I hate it here

Bash Jason’s head in with a rock challenge

Claudia fucking crying while Jason is saying Dustin is in a cult

“Last night I was overcome with this feeling of hopelessness. Then I remembered Romans 12:21” GO AWAY

I hate this I hate this I hate this

Jason as some weird religious Archie Andrews is just nothing that I wanted

I played my sister this scene bc it was so beyond shitty and she was like bro wtf

Claudia and Karen and Mrs. Sinclair making pointed eye contact with one another

Suzie has TWO byu flag things in her room this girl sucks

(Pls find the Black Menaces on Instagram and tiktok to understand the scope of why byu is a fucking nightmare)

Suzie and this guilt thing it’s bc Mormons use guilt like a fucking weapon so they can’t deal when they do something Bad

“I was dating an agnostic” also mos aren’t supposed to date until 16 sooo

Oh shot the pta is here Claudia Henderson loml

“A stake is like a vamp-is he a vampire?” STEVE HARRINGTON CANON BUFFY FAN YES YES YES THIS IS WVERYTHING IVE EVER NEEDED PLEASE GOD OH SHIT OH SHIT wow the way Steve’s whole life revolves around the original movie omg he’s gonna be so excited when the tv show comes out

“Everything was like way easier. We had this girl. She had superpowers.” I’m just writing down literally everything he says

BACK TO THE COMPASS YES love that they’ve brought this back from season one so so happy with that call back

“Snack size gate”

Steve #1 drama queen award

“What’s say you Eddie the Banished” I love that they’ve never stopped making Dustin’s weirdness his #1 personality trait

“I say you’re asking me to follow you into Mordor” literally he’s billy from every single fic over written FUCK

Brenner teaching them to be emotionless fighting machines bitch disgusting

So does this mean Kali is the only one with different powers???

There’s so many plots happening that every I only remember who’s on screen at a time like the California gang and the Russia gang are not in my brain unless they’re on screen

But this Murray yuri parent trap princess switch FUCKS I love this idea so so much

This fight is gotta be staged to help them get out

CALLED IT

The way hopper s a fucking genius I can’t. Like, you want head?

Anyway in case you’re wondering how the Mormons are doing

Badly.

I was gonna make a joke earlier about how the names aren’t Mormon enough and I was gonna specifically say “where’s the tanner?” Bc I have 3 cousins named tanner BUT one of the kids IS named tanner there you go

“What’s the internet” “don’t worry about it”

Suzie is the og dataminer

“I think we just spooked a skunk” NOPE JUST YOUR SISTER HOTBOXING WITH ARGYLE amazing

The writers have watched to much fucking riverdake I hate it here

“Who put her in charge?” “I did.” GAY

“Bedtime at nine kiddos. Miss you already!” R O B I N

Bro what the FUCK is going on in here on this day

These older kids are wildin out “you shamed me today” ????

Yeah I really think Kali is the only one with unique powers good for her

“Unless one of you can top being a Hawkins high swim team co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years it’s gotta be me. No complaints, alright?” SWIMMER STEVE CONFIRMED

YES CHEST HAIR YES YES YES HES SO HOT I AM LOOKING DISRESPECTFULLY I AM OBJECTIFYING

“I keep telling him he needs to take that jungle” no he does NOT

MAX HELL YES

I love her just shameless ogling Steve she deserves it. She totally always thought he was hit and billy would make fun of her for it and she’d be like ‘you think he’s hot too shut up’

Lucas just looking back and forth between the boat and max for twenty minutes this is a comedy show

God this Nancy/Steve shit I wish I was dead

Okay that dive did not say swim team co captain Steven

Omg Dustin’s tiny singular giggle after saying watergate king shit

Not Steve painlessly holding his breath for an hour and a half

Okay but the way his hand was shaking as he went to touch the gate membrane thing

Oh shit they’re doing a good job ramping up the tension here with the cops showing up and the vines reaching up for this group

“More of a snack sized gate than a mama gate but still” love u

That moment when he first gets yanked and then he looks at them, looks down, then looks back at them and then gets yanked harder. Amazing

Wow rip to Steve’s ankle

Oh SHIT Dustin and Lucas don’t realize the whole town is fucking hunting them FUCK

Oh god of course robin is a nose plugger

Eddie’s voice raising twelve octaves while he’s yelling and freaking out king shit

Steve first time in the upside down welcome 2 hell baby love

So in tremors 1 we have the graboids. Season 1 we have the demogorgons. The biggest, full size version of the creatures. Completely practical effects. Maintained anonymous until final reveal while attacking protagonist. Tremors 2: aftershocks brings shriekers and season 2 brings demodogs. Smaller creatures that have ability to run on land. Smarter but also dumber than the full size. Tremors 3: back to perfection has ass-blasters and season 4 has demobats. This ‘flying’ counterpart utilizes the most disappointing cgi of the 3 and feels a bit forced.

Steve getting choked 👀

Oh jesus christ these fuckers are really dining out on our Steven. He really though he was gonna die alone in the upside down being eaten alive by monsters oh god oh fuck

Wow good ending here

[tghwriting]

43. A Brand New Day

Taylor walked though the front door of her apartment building and pulled her jacket tight around her. She put her earbuds in and started to walk down the street. It was still dark out but she couldn't go back to sleep. So as she walked down the quiet street she was left with the silence and her thoughts. The music was soft in her ears, the slow sad melody seemed to reverberate through her skull. She focused on it, trying to keep anything but her thoughts for taking over.

She had her playlist on shuffle, but every other song she'd skip until she found the one she wanted. She didn't want to hear happy music, she wanted the slow melody of sad ballads to be the only thing she heard. She couldn't listen to happy when she was anything but.

As she rounded the corner towards the neighborhood coffee shop that was the only thing open this early, she saw a familiar car parked in front of the building. The black convertible was unmistakable. She had seen it too many times to not know who's car it was. Part of her wanted to walk back home, turn around and avoid him. But she had walked this far and she didn't want to have walked for nothing.

When she walked into the cafe she saw him sitting in the corner table by himself. The barista smiled up at her as she approached. “For here or to go today?” She asked already punching in the order that Taylor made every single day since moving into that apartment a year and a half ago.

“For here.” The deep voice startled both of them. Taylor turned around to see Max standing there, his caramel colored skin softly illuminated by the yellow light of the cafe, his smile knowing and kind. He handed his card over to the barista, not taking his eyes off of Taylor.

“I can buy my own coffee.”

“I know.” He took his card back and signed the print out, not bothering to look at it. “I was hoping you'd come in today.” He pushed the receipt back to the barista. “Sit with me.” His voice was soft, but it wasn't a question as he gently held the back of her arm and led her to the table he had made his own.

“You could have just called.”

“Would you have answered?”

“No. Probably not.” She sighed as she sat down in the chair he had pulled out for her before taking his own seat. “How's...is it Nina?”

He shook his head. “Why do you think I wanted to talk?” His smile wavered.

“Aren't you supposed to be getting married today?”

“Supposed to be.” He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, avoiding eye contact. “It wasn't a fun night making all the phone calls.” He finally said.

“You called it off?” She asked as the barista brought her her coffee, sliding it in front of her. “Didn't you?”

“Caught her and my brother together last night.” He sighed.

“I'm sorry.”

“At least now I know why you two aren't together anymore.” He sighed again and held his coffee to his lips, putting it back down after a moment without taking a sip. “Did you know?”

“I suspected.” She nodded. “But he left me, remember?”

“Vividly.” He took another sip.

“So why did you want to talk?” She asked, taking a sip of her own coffee.

He didn't look at her, he just leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, lost in thought. “I...I shouldn't have gone back to her.” He finally said. “I should have fought harder for you.” He met her eyes for what seemed like the first time since they had sat down.

“Then why didn't you?” She knew the answer but she needed to hear him say it.

“You know my family, they wanted me with her and there was no questioning that.” He finally said.

“So what did they say last night?”

“Let's just say I don't think I'm going to any holiday dinners for the next few years.” He chuckled, a soft, broken, chuckle. “It doesn't matter.” He shook his head.

“What does matter?”

“I want to try again.”

“You just called off your wedding last night and you want to try again already?” She didn't feel very convinced, after everything that had happened, after the messy break up she had had with his brother just a few weeks ago, she didn't feel in the right place.

“We don't have to go right into anything, but I just want to talk. I want to be friends again. I want to go slow and let things happen. I want to give it a shot.” The words came out of his mouth so fast that he stuttered through them. When he stopped talking he picked up his coffee and finished the last bit. She smiled at him, a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“I can do friends right now.” She said slowly, taking a long sip and looking up at him. She put the empty mug down on the table and stood up. He stood up as well. “You don't have to come with me.” She said glancing down at his bag that was still sitting against the leg of the table.

“I don't want you to go just yet.”

“Then come with me. We can walk and talk.”

He hesitated a moment before nodding and picking up his bag. They left their empty cups on their table like the signs on the wall requested and headed out the cafe door. The sun was now rising, shining a soft orange and cool blue glow over everything. Taylor stood outside of the cafe door, her eyes closed, her head tilted up towards the sky. The wind was blowing through her brown hair, gently whipping it around her face.

He watched her stand there and smiled softly.

After a few moments she turned to look at him, catching him staring at her. “What?”

“I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time all over again.” He bit his bottom lip nervously. “I know that sounds cheesy.”

“It does.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's fine.” She nodded and took in a deep breath, looking at his car than back to him. “Still wanna walk?”

“Yeah.” He said breathlessly. The two walked side by side silently for a few minutes before he finally stopped and looked at her. She noticed after a few steps and turned back to look at him questioningly. “I'm really sorry.”

“You didn't do anything to be sorry for.” She said softly, closing the gap between them and gently touching his arm. “You didn't cheat on anyone, you didn't have an affair with your brother's fiancee while you were dating someone else. You are not the bad guy here.” She wanted to comfort him, but she knew how bad he felt, she knew that the words were not going to make any difference, even if he needed to hear them.

“I feel like I pulled you into this mess.”

“One night over a year ago when the two of you were broken up is not pulling me into a mess. It's just...” she tried to think of the right word, but she wasn't sure what to say.

“Unfortunate.” He finished her thought for her. She nodded.

“Meeting you was not unfortunate.” She smiled. “Meeting your brother might have been though.” That got him to chuckle. She reached up and touched the side of his scruffy face. “I wouldn't change any second I had with you. I need you to know that.”

“I broke your heart.”

“No you didn't.” She assured. “My heart can handle a lot, trust me.”

“Is that why you're walking alone to a coffee shop before sunrise every day?”

“Everyday?”

“The barista told me. She said that you're one of her first customers every morning.” He said, leaning against the closest wall, which was an old brick wall that separated the house behind it from the street. “I didn't...I wanted to make sure I'd find you without knocking on your front door.”

“Think I'd slam the door in your face?”

“As much as I knew you wouldn't answer your phone.”

“Well, then I'm glad you made it creepy.” She giggled. “Why don't we just start over.” She finally said, taking a step back and putting her hand out in front of her. “I'm Taylor.”

“Maxim. Max.” He took her hand in his and shook, a large smile spreading across his face.

“Would you like to come over to my place and hang out?” She hung on the words 'hang out' for longer than she needed to. He nodded.

“I'd like that.”

“See, that wasn't so hard.” She liked her arm around his and pulled him off the wall, starting to walk down the street once more. “It's a brand new day, the sun is shining, and you don't have to marry that monster of a woman anymore. Life is good.” She said the words more enthusiastically and happier than she was actually feeling. She felt that sadness and anger that had been weighing down her chest slowly start to lift as she squeezed his arm in hers.

They got to her apartment building and she led him upstairs and into her apartment. He'd been there before but this time felt different. His brother wasn't there. His ex wasn't going to call him and check in on him. No one was going to bother him. He breathed a sigh of relief as she closed the door and walked over to him as he just stood in the middle of her living room. It felt different and that was good. As she stood there looking up at him and he looked down at her he could feel that everything was different, everything had changed over night. While a few days ago he would have been terrified of the prospect, as he stood there now he finally felt his own weight lift off his shoulders. He was free.

[daedalmirage]

hyssop ♥ marigold ♥ r.e: gawain sweep

Even as the conversation continued - even as it started to turn to other scapegoats, the right and want to live, all things she could very much resonate with if she so wished-  Mari's phone remained stubbornly in place on the surface in front of her. Her gaze didn't even drift to the device, much less her hands. Rather she ended up focusing on Gawain, gaze creasing like she was viewing something a little bit disgusting.

"Wow, and you were telling me to be cautious earlier about stuff I threw myself into? Okay, then, best of luck to you!"

It was a very flippant remark: you'd think Mari was shutting down a schoolyard argument that felt much bigger than it actually was in the moment and age. Her gaze still did not go to her phone, but instead drifted to Inkyo.

(Okay, and what happens if you get voted out? Then that's just... it, I guess? I don't get what I want and the whole thing and my crap gets forgotten. Sucks, but you can't fight that one.)

"Didn't we all presumably accept LaPlace's invitation because we wanted a chance to live? Wait, no, I kinda forgot a weird amount of people still think we're all gonna die anyway, and showed up just for some other reason. Look, I'm not saying I've been having a ball today or that this whole thing was on top of my list of things to do- oh, God-"

She'd idly picked up that long forgotten cup of coffee and tried to sneak a drink into a space.

(In some sense Pluto had been forgotten by Mari even before the two had met, the sense of obscurity the other woman possessed in her eyes. Were they just pushing Nina to the same?)

"But this is just... I'm really gonna have to consider everyone's self preservation again, huh?"

That cold cup of coffee was carefully placed on the table again, one of Mari's fingers slowly starting to circle its rim thoughtfully. Her mouth opened, then shut again, then tried once more- but somewhere in-between that, all the air seemed to have shot away and taken the typical lift in her voice with it.

(Was everyone else really so set on the idea that they'd die one way or another that they'd go for it instead?

Maybe she really was surrounded by ghosts already.)

"This is all just- this is all just so stupid. You guys do what you like."

(The problem with being the only one living in a room of ghosts was the cold alienation.)

(...Surely unless you were Mari, anyway.)

[spacesuitsforemergency]

I also never really pointed out how sad it was when Nina had to say goodbye to everyone all over again. So basically she lived in her dimension, she didn’t come back to this Earth because once she was strong enough power wise to summon her dead loved ones spirits, she didn’t want to go back to the world where they were dead. And she was still in denial much like Wanda was in WandaVision, so she made versions of everyone alive too so that it was just like her normal life but everyone was alive and safe. So somehow someone contacted her in her realm and convinced her that she couldn’t live in her fantasy world forever, and she needed to come back home and face reality, even if it was hard.

So once she accepted that all these people were dead, she had to say goodbye to them all over again, but she got some closure being able to say goodbye to her loved ones. She finally got to tell her mother how strong she became and her mom got to tell her how proud she was of her. She got to thank Isidora for always looking out for her, she got to tell Kavya that she never thought she was lesser and Kavya got to hug her little sister and thank her for always believing in her. She got to apologize to Evgeni for killing him, he finally got to tell her that it wasn’t her fault and that he still loves her no matter what. She got to thank her dad for always protecting her, and fighting for her to his last breath, and he also got to tell her how proud he was that she doesn’t give up and that it’s okay for her to move on with her life. Then she got to see Wayde one last time, they didn’t really say goodbye again since they had said their last words to each other the last couple weeks Wayde was alive, so they just hugged and waved to each other so they could see they both still wore their rings.

Finally she got to thank Nadia for being the only person to care about her for such a long time, and Nadia told her she was happy she could save even one person from that place and she was glad it was her. And Nadia informed her that all the other hundreds of people that died in the explosion or killed by the Facility were in a peaceful place, and they were all happy for Nina and grateful that she doesn’t forget about them so that maybe their deaths weren’t for nothing

[thebadgerclan]

Threat

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: The Crows receive a threat...

Kaz, Inej, Nina, Matthias, Wylan, Jesper, and you were instructed to gather in the common area of the Slat for a debriefing.  What on, you weren’t sure, but your fiance’s tone was clipped when he’d told you all.  After you’d changed after the job, you’d descended the stairs, bracing yourself for whatever horrible news was coming.  Kaz intercepted you, and when he did, he let his can fall to the floor, pulling you into his arms and clutching you to him.

“Woah,” you said, nearly losing your balance.  “Kaz, honey, what’s wrong.”  He didn’t answer, but held you tighter, his breathing shaky.  “Later,” was all you got, and after a moment, your fiance loosened his hold on you, limping to the common area.  You followed him, and when Kaz took his seat, he pulled you into his lap, his arms snaking around you.  This was unusual for two reasons: Kaz preferred to keep this level of affection behind closed doors, and sitting in your finance’s lap usually aggravated his leg.  But Kaz didn’t seem to care, and when you tried to shift away, he whined and pulled you closer.

The rest of the Crows filed in, varying looks of confusion on their faces, and they sat.  “So,” Jesper said, his arm draped around Wylan’s shoulders.  “What’s this all about?  We’re not usually debriefed.”  Kaz inhaled sharply before speaking.  “I was ambushed today on the way back.  Threats were made, very specific, credible threats, and I don’t want to take any chances.”  Nina sat up a bit straighter.  “What threats?”

He was walking one second and flat on the cobblestones the next.  There was a dagger to his jugular, and Kaz focused on remaining still.  “I’ll say this once and only once.  Keep your asses off Razorgull territory, or we’ll cut the skin from your pretty little fiance’s body with that Suli trash’s knives and turn it into a coat.  And that Heartrender you keep around?  We’ll carve her heart out and feed it to the Fjerdan.  Oh, and your demo man?  Consider his intestines garland for your pathetic house.  Hmm, I suppose your Zemini could be useful.  We’ll have him make the caskets before we kill him.”

This wasn’t the first time another gang had threatened his Crows, but they were general enough.  Most people knew Kaz ran with a Suli, a Fjerdan, a Zemini, a demo man, a Heartrender, and you, but that was common knowledge.  But the assailant’s next words chilled his very soul.  “I think we’ll use Sankta Lizabeta first.  Those rose etchings will look so beautiful filled with blood.  Then, I think we’ll take those shiny, pearl handled guns, load them up, and shove the barrel against your precious demo man’s temple.  Do you think he’ll cry for Jesper?  Or maybe his mother, Marya, is it.

“Your Suli’s blades will do nicely to take your Grisha’s heart, poor thing won’t even be able to fight back, after her fight with parem.  I know Fjerdan culture says wolves are sacred, but do you think the disgraced drüskelle will eat a witch’s heart?”  Again, all things a devoted assassin would know, but then, the assailant continued.  “Top floor, second window, Schuyler lock.  I know where your fiance sleeps, and I promise you, her death will not be pleasant.”  He then spoke details that no Razorgull should know, things that proved that whoever this assassin was, he was more than capable of carrying out his threats.

Kaz relayed this information to his Crows, all while keeping a tight grip around your waist.  He was scared, you could tell, and you kissed his temple and laid a hand on his cheek, hoping to soothe him.  “My point is, this is a credible, real threat, and we need to take it seriously.  The Razorgulls have been after us for a long time, and now they seem to be in a position to strike.  And I will not let the ones I love the most get hurt.”

“Aww, you love us?” Jesper said, and Wylan slapped his arm.  “I care about you, yes.  So for the time being, nothing gets said to anyone outside the 7 of us.  Absolutely nothing.  Radio silence, understood?”  The Crows nodded, and Kaz stood, lifting you into his arms.  “I’ve had your beds and personal effects moved to different rooms.  The Gulls know where we sleep, and we’re not going to let them keep knowing.  Blackout curtains have been hung as well, do not open them, under any circumstance.”

And Kaz turned and left, carrying you up the stairs and into what used to be Inej’s room.  Your bed and trunk had been moved here, but the walls were still decorated with Suli maps and Inej’s tastes.  Your fiance set you down long enough to change clothes before lying down and pulling you into his chest.  “I will not let anyone hurt you, or my Crows,” he said, kissing you deeply.  It was a needy, urgent kiss, and you deepened it, trying to convey the love and trust you felt for Kaz.

“I know you won’t, Kaz,” you whispered, one hand on his chest, his heart beating rapidly beneath his sternum, the other on the back of his neck, keeping his lips on yours.  “I love you.”  “I love you too, Y/N, no one will hurt you, I won’t let them.”  You only nodded, kissing your fiance again.  “If anyone comes near you, I’ll kill them.  I will protect you, my love, Y/N, I promise.”  Again, you nodded, knowing Kaz’s words and actions were to comfort himself as well as you.  But you felt little fear.  If Kaz Brekker said he was going to protect you, then you were safe.

[darling-i-read-it]

My King

Nikolai Lantsov x fem!reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: burns, violence, injuries

Author’s Note: This was so cute omg, I hope you enjoy love!

Requested; by anon, Hi love I absolutely adore your writing and I was wondering if you could request the ‘who did this to you trope’ with Nikolai please Thank you

Summary: the request!

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Nikolai Lantsov, King of Ravka, was the only man in this world that could make you actually visibly flustered. Boy did he love that. He used it to his advantage whenever he could and even managed to make you laugh here and there.

You stood behind him, looking down at his radiant blonde hair. You brushed through it carefully, making sure there were no tangles. He looked at you through the mirror and you pretended not to notice.

“You have to talk more with the suitors today,” you muttered, focused on combing through his hair.

“No I don’t,” he said. “I’ve picked my Queen.” You rolled your eyes. He caught it and couldn’t help but smile softly.

“I can’t be Queen Nikolai.” You met his eyes through the reflection. He looked effortlessly handsome, though he always did. You were always amazed at his stunning looks. Nikolai was a regal man and if nothing else, looked like he was fit to be a King.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because I’m not royal.” You put your hands on his shoulders and leaned down, tilting your head to see him face to face. He met your gaze, that charming look in his eyes. “And you won’t get any prospects from being with me. You won’t get any money. You won’t get any land. You’ll get only me and that is not enough.”

“It’s plenty!” he protested. “I don’t need land or money or prospects. I just need you.” You shook your head and turned around, walking over to his bed. You handed him the clothing that his people had picked out for him to wear.

“No you want me. Ravka needs someone suited for the job.” Nikolai hated when you brought Ravka into this. If he was a low servant boy the two of you would have been married ages ago. He stood and turned around, holding his clothing in his hand.

“I will convince you.”

“No you won’t,” you muttered absentmindedly. “I have to call Genya to get things prepared for next week. You get dressed.”

“I won’t get married to anyone else.”

“We can have an affair on the side, will that make you happy?”

“No. I will not produce a bastard and make our child suffer the way I have,” he grumbled. You met his eyes kindly.

“Who says I want children with you?”

“You can’t keep your hands off me, I’m fairly certain your actions betray your words.” You rolled your eyes and put your hand on his chest as you walked past.

“Get dressed Nikolai. I’ll be with Genya if you need me.”

You left the room and he was left alone with his mind and his clothes. He stared at the door for a second, shaking his head. He knew that you were right. He knew that you understood this situation better than most. But he also knew that as long as you were alive, he could never love another person. He didn’t want to and he didn’t need to. You would make a wonderful Queen.

He would convince you one day, he was sure of it.

====

Genya held a clipboard in her hand. You wondered briefly if she had different colors to match what she wanted to go for that day. You almost never saw her without some sort of planning ability.

“I wish you would just marry him, save us all the trouble,” Genya said softly. You rolled your eyes.

“Trust me, if I could I would.”

“You’re completely able. You aren’t repulsed by him like some of the women coming. You aren’t his cousin, you aren’t underage. You’re both in love and that should be enough.”

“It’s enough for him. Not enough for Ravka.” You let out a small sigh and was about to say something else when a guard entered the room. You raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t announced himself or anything which was unusual. You are one of the closest to the King and usually was shown that respect. But this man looked very worried.

“There’s a Grisha at the gates, demanding to come in.”

“Do you know who it is?” you asked. He shook his head. You pursed your lips and spared Genya a glance. You were a very talented Heartrender and could use your power for defense if necessary. “What kind of Grisha?”

“Inferni.” You let out a soft sigh. That wasn’t great news.

“Should I find Zoya?” Genya asked. You shook your head.

“Zoya isn’t in Ravka.” She was out with Nina, hopelessly spying on others. She had protested quite often but you made her go. She could do good out there and could come back to lead her post later. You turned to the guard. “Come.”

===

You didn’t bother stopping to tell Nikolai. You could handle this yourself, you were sure. It was one Grisha. You had fought plenty before. You could handle one Inferni. You did wish you hadn’t told Zoya to go though. She was much more powerful than you.

You reached the gates and saw the fire immediately. Your few Tidemakers were doing their best to battle the flames but the Inferni looked skilled. You wondered if they were a member of the Second Army before the war.

You saw him standing at the edge of the gates.

“Let me see the King!” he yelled at the guards, shooting flames aimlessly. You focused, slowing his heart rate at your will. He looked frightened as he realized what was happening to him. You approached cautiously.

“The King is busy today,” you said. He clutched his chest. “Can I help you?”

“I want…” he breathed heavily, “to kill the King.” You shook your head.

“That isn’t going to happen today.” He looked up at you and before you knew it he had shot a ball of fire in your direction. It knocked you down, causing you to lose your focus. Pain flew to your limbs as you put the fire out. You raised your hand to him and crippled him down to his knees more harshly this time. You took the air from his lungs, your own body singed and smoking as you did so. You guestered to a Tidemaker and some guards. “Take him.”

They did as they were told, dragging him to the dungeon. He gasped for air until he was out of your sight.

You sat in the courtyard for a moment, reveling in your pain. No one approached you for a moment, unsure if you were able to stand on your own or not. You wobbled to your feet and guestered to a guard.

“Send for Genya Safin.”

“Should I get the King?” the guard asked.

“Saints no,” you breathed.

You walked back inside the castle and soon enough saw Genya rushing towards you. Her eyes went wide in horror.

“Why didn’t you ask for a Healer?” she exclaimed.

“I wanted you to take me there,” you breathed, laughing gently. She held you up and started to walk towards the nearest Healer when you saw Nikolai coming down the stairs, a guard trailing after him. He ran up to you, putting his arms around your waist and holding you up. Genya let you go into his grasp. Your eyes narrowed on the guard. “You disobeyed me.”

“He insisted on knowing whenever you were hurt,” the guard said quietly. You shook your head.

“Who did this to you?” Nikolai almost growled. You tried not to think of the monster inside him as he spoke in an animalistic tone.

“Inferni at the gates.”

“You should have called for help.”

“I can handle myself.” He turned to Genya.

“Take her to the Healers, I’m going to see this Inferni.” You gave him a look as he put you back into her care.

“Nikolai don’t do anything stupid unprotected,” you muttered, wincing in pain.

“He’ll get what's coming to him,” Nikolai muttered as he walked away from you.

====

The Healers tended to your wounds quickly and were able to avoid having any serious burns. You had gotten lucky. Nikolai was right though, you should have sent for help. You rested in your room, bandages over your various injuries.

The door opened without a knock which meant it was no one but Nikolai. You looked over at him.

“What did you do?” you asked evenly. He quickly sat at your side, grabbing your hand in his. He leaned forward and brushed your hair out of your face.

“He will be tried for high treason.”

“He didn’t commit high treason. He can’t even be tried for an assasination attempt, he never got close to you.” Nikolai smiled slyly and met your eyes.

“First off, I’m the King and I get to say who is tried with high treason. Second off, it was not an assassination attempt on the King of Ravka, it was however an assassination attempt on the future Queen of Ravka.” You went completely silent for a few moments, his words hanging in the air.

“You didn’t tell him that, did you?”

“I did. In fact, I told Genya to stop planning for the suitors' arrival next week.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Then I told her to get an official announcement prepared.”

“Nikolai-”

“Be quiet for a moment,” he said, meeting your eyes. “You got rather lucky today. You’re very lucky actually that you happened to be at the castle where there are the best Healers around. If you hadn’t been, your burns could have been much worse and you could have died.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch.”

“Shh!” He cleared his throat. “I won’t lose you. You are the most fit to be Queen and we will secure the Lantsov line with our children.”

“I’m Grisha thou-”

“Darling, if you interrupt me one more time I will poke an injury.” You smiled a bit and rolled your eyes. “My decision is final. I am your King and I have made my choice.” He paused. “If you’ll have me.” You had a feeling that he was telling you the truth. There was no way to talk him out of this. Truth be told, you wanted nothing more than to marry him. You had wanted it since the moment he laid eyes on you. You closed your eyes for a moment and shook your head, laughing gently.

“Fine. Yes, Nikolai, I will marry you.” A bright smile went over his face as he clapped his hands together and then turned to you, kissing you gently. You moaned in pain and he pulled away.

“I’m sorry. Just excited. Oh Genya is going to love this. She’ll have a ball planning our wedding. Oh and I have so many ideas for the honeymoon, you’re going to love it.” You grabbed his hand and couldn’t help but feel equally excited.

“We can talk more about it in the morning. Right now, I’m exhausted.”

“Oh yes of course. Scoot over.”

“Nikolai, you have things to do today.”

“Scoot.” You rolled your eyes and did as you were told. He laid on the bed beside you, putting his arm around your shoulder. You rested your head on his chest.

“Goodnight my darling,” he whispered, kissing your forehead.

“Goodnight my King.”

Grishaverse Tag List: @elisaa-shelby

@chameleon-junkie

[jungkxook]

—stay. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: popstar!jungkook x groupie!reader + smut / sprinkle of angst and fluff

⟶ words: 8,083

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: jungkook wasn’t always so madly in love with you but the fact that you’re sleeping with two of his band mates too makes things a tad bit complicated.

⟶ warnings: multiple smut scenes, slight dom themes, oral sex, finger sucking oops, boob fondling, hair pulling ft. jungkook’s undercut, doggy style, missionary, thigh riding, spitting, jealous kook!!, unprotected sex, kind of slight possessive themes? but also just general sweetness tbh 

⟶ disclaimer: my time jungkook still has me in my feels! also, this is a repost of an old fic on an old blog.

“Stay with me?”

Jungkook asks this hopefully, of course, but he already knows the answer. It’s just that, lying there with you on the hotel room bed, there’s no other place he’d rather be ━ and there’s no one else he’d rather experience the moment with than you. Legs tangled together on top of the duvet with your fingers tracing circles onto his bare chest, Jungkook swears he’s in love with you ━ only, you’re not his to have. 

“I have to go,” You pout, though your fingers continue drawing constellations on his skin, treading down his arm and over the tattoos that adorn him. You’re focusing now on the lily on his forearm, around and around, sending his head spiralling. “Promised my friends we could hang out today. Besides, don’t you have Mina or Nina━” You wave your hand in the air to dismiss the thought━ “coming over soon?”

“Who?” It takes him a moment to even remember who you’re talking about. Truthfully, he hasn’t seen that girl in well over six months but he’d never tell you that. In fact, he hasn’t been seeing anyone else other than you but he would definitely never tell you that. “Oh, yeah. Well, I think she’s coming over later tonight.”

“Well━” You trail off, and Jungkook knows it’s because you’re stalling. You want to stay, and he knows it well enough, but every question you ask him is just meant to further reassure you that it’s okay if you stay. That he wants you to. “Aren’t you busy with work today before the second show?”

Jungkook shrugs. “We still have lots of time before the day starts.”

You shake your head at him but he knows he ultimately wins out when you start to smile to yourself. You prop yourself up beside him and he has to admire momentarily how you’ve never been timid in front of him when you’re naked. His hand reaches out to brush his fingers against your cheek and you smile down at him. But then something seems to dawn on him that he can’t believe he foolishly hadn’t thought of first. 

“Unless… Unless you need to see one of them soon.”

“Who?”

“Taehyung or Namjoon.” It takes all he can muster to say their names without a trace of bitterness. He lifts himself up on his elbow. “Are you still seeing them?”

You shrug innocently. Sitting up a little straighter, you brush his hand away and fidget with your hair. “Would it matter if I was?”

Yes, he wants to scream but he refrains. “No. I just━” he stops. “Just curious. Is that what you meant by work then? You have to go see Tae or something right after me? ”

“No, you prick.” He’s relieved you giggle at him, fingers poking at his chest despite the fact that he was mentally cursing himself for being a dick the minute the words left his mouth. “Believe it or not, I do have a life outside of sex. Friends, too.”

“I know, I know,” he says sheepishly. “Sorry, I━ I know. You said you wanted to go shopping downtown before the show tonight, right? One of your friends ━ Dahyun ━ goes to school in the next city over and she’s taking the day off to see you. I do listen when you talk, y’know?”

He doesn’t miss the warm smile that spreads across your face. You finally return to him, kissing him slow and steadily. In the meantime, he flips you over onto your back and then parts from you much to your dismay. He’s nestled himself between your legs in an instant, kissing up your thigh and sending shivers down your spin. Your hand flies down to twine your fingers in his hair, now much longer than usual.

“I guess I could stay a little longer, if you’d want me to,” You say. 

“I do.”

He wastes no time in swiping his tongue at your folds, his mouth wrapping perfectly around you. You’re already mewling with delight. That’s all it ever is with the two of you. Sex and more sex. And while Jungkook isn’t complaining, he sure does wish he could just have more of you. Jungkook burrows a little deeper, his nose rubbing against your clit as he eats you out. 

“Morning sex does sound nice,” You manage to say, breath shaking.

“Yeah,” he rasps against you. “It does, doesn’t it?”

Your thighs are already threatening to squeeze shut around his head, fingers tightening in their hold. His own hands find purchase on your waist, stretching outward to hold on to you, and nothing can break you both apart. Not even the muffled sound of rapid knocking on the front door of the too grand hotel room. At least, not the first two times. On the third time when it’s followed by the sound of Jungkook’s manager irritably calling out through the flimsy wood panel, does Jungkook groan into your cunt and poke his head upward, craning his neck to look over his shoulder as his manager’s voice carries infuriatingly loudly to you both once again. 

“Get up already, will you? We’ve got several business meetings to conduct today and we haven’t got time for you to sleep off a hangover or whatever it is you’re doing━”

“Gimme ‘til noon!” Jungkook asserts gruffly. He settles himself back between your thighs, and you surely don’t miss the devious way he smirks just before burrowing his head into your heat. There’s an inaudible sound that he makes, that you and certainly his manager can distinguish as being, “I’m too busy right now.”

Busy is an understatement, pointedly made clear when his tongue delves into you, lapping at your leaking wetness as if he were terribly quenched and only you could save him. You don’t think Jungkook taking his morning to eat you out is a good enough excuse that will run over well with his manager later in the day, but it drives him away for now with only a grumbled chorus of words left in his wake. But the silence only lasts for so long. Just as Jungkook is getting comfortable once more, you speak up.

“I don’t think tardiness is a very good quality to have as a celebrity,” You ponder aloud through a heavily pleased sigh.

“Ah, or it’s exactly the thing I need,” he counters with a shit-eating grin. “Being late is a very celebrity thing, isn’t it?”

“When the fame gets to their head,” You snort. Your voice splinters off into a whimper as he tilts his chin up a little higher, lapping deeper into you.

“Then I guess I’m bad.” His voice murmurs against you, rattling you to the bone.

“You’re definitely far from bad. Everyone thinks you’re an angel.”

“Wonder if they’d think the same thing if they saw me now━” He pinches lightly at the inside of your thigh, “head between your legs, and you coming on my tongue.”

You roll your eyes, but your wittiness falls short when he tugs with his teeth at your folds. Your back arches off the bed at once, hips pressing harder against his face.

“Namjoon called last night,” You say. No, you don’t say it. You moan it and even though Jungkook knows it’s because of him and how he’s making you feel in that moment, he still hates hearing someone else’s name roll off the tip of your tongue that isn’t his. “If you must know. Said he wanted to see me in the morning━”

Jungkook grimaces. He grunts shortly, “Guess you’re gonna have to let him down.”

“I’m sure Joon will love that━”

“Don’t,” he hisses. He bites down a little harshly on the inside of your thigh but you don’t mind. When he glances up to look at you, his stare is dark and hooded. “Don’t say their names. Not now. Please.”

You almost miss the desperation in his voice, the way he almost whines his words. You don’t ask, even though you’re curious. You don’t ask, even when he eats you out that morning until he’s made sure you’re crying his name and nothing else. You don’t ask, even when fucks you slow and deep and measured and almost, dare you say, loving like he never has before, clinging onto you as if he can’t live without you. You don’t ask, even when he may get a little rough (just how you like it), as if he’s afraid you’ll leave him right then and there. You don’t even ask when he sucks not one but two hickeys on your neck, large enough for anyone to see. For Taehyung and Namjoon to see.

You never really do ask, even though you notice things have become different.

It’s not as if you haven’t always been close to one another. There are more times than not in which you both physically can’t keep your hands off of one another in public, though in the safest and simplest ways possible. It’s there, in the way you sit next to him with your legs crossed regally on the couch in the green room backstage before a set, playing with the rings on his fingers on the hand resting on your shoulder; there, in the way you sit draped across his lap, leaning into his chest, in the studio as they blur through recordings. When you give advice on composing or lyric writing, Jungkook listens. When you giggle into his ear and whisper lewd things when you probably shouldn’t in the middle of a party with important business men and other celebrities, Jungkook is captivated. 

It wasn’t always supposed to be like this. Jungkook wasn’t always so madly in love with you, but he always knew there was something about you he just could not get enough of. You had chosen him first, approaching him late one night at a bar, and he was instantly head-over-heels. Even if it was mutually agreed upon ━ and oftentimes never really outwardly mentioned ━ that you could sleep around with him, Namjoon, and Taehyung, then Jungkook would have to deal with it. He would do anything, if it meant getting to see you more. At first he didn’t even mind. What was one more groupie to the ever growing list he had already accumulated? He’s never gotten feelings for any of them, so surely he thought he would be okay with you; that maybe whatever he was feeling for you would go away. 

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

After he asks you the question the first time, he finds himself stuck in a greedy months-long habit of asking you wistfully every time he finds you in his bed. He asks it a thousand and one times, but only ever gets one response from you. You’ll say no, that you have to leave, and sometimes you will. But sometimes ━ sometimes when he knows he wins out because he knows you let your guard down long enough to become besotted by him, a tangible mess with his every touch ━ you’ll linger just a little longer and the notion alone is enough to instill a sense of hope in Jungkook even if he knows it’s wrong. 

And maybe you shouldn’t play along. Then again, he takes all your time and you devote what little you have left afterward to him anyway, pretending that you’re still seeing Taehyung and Namjoon when you’re certainly not.

Sometimes Jungkook catches you when he doesn’t mean to, or isn’t expecting to, and it’s all different moments that physically pain him. Sometimes those moments come from paying one of the guys a visit and stumbling upon you there, too. 

After having not seen you for the whole day, and just before the concert begins, Jungkook is called over to Namjoon’s room within the hotel to discuss some last minute changes to the show (which Jungkook’s positive he would have heard about if he hadn’t ignored his manager early in the morning). Only Namjoon doesn’t answer the door when Jungkook arrives. There’s a crescendo of giggling on the other side of the threshold and then it’s you, and you’re standing there wearing nothing but a baggy shirt of Namjoon’s that barely covers your bum (and shorts too, he thinks, but Jungkook’s much too focused now on you in Namjoon’s shirt). Namjoon’s standing a bit further back, leaning against the wall of the hallway without a shirt on and he’s grinning at something that’s just happened. 

“Took you long enough,” Namjoon calls out. “Come in, we’ll get started. I’ll just be right back━ Just hopped out of the shower━” And then he disappears into another room, most likely to find another shirt that isn’t taken by you.

“Jungkook!” You greet him so cheerfully, as if the sight of you half naked in another man’s home isn’t eating away at Jungkook. You pull him into a hug that’s so tight he can smell your familiar perfume and probably Namjoon’s lingering scent if he focuses hard enough. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Jungkook says. He doesn’t mean for his voice to sound so standoffish. He hopes you don’t notice. “You’re back early.”

“Yeah. The girls had to leave but that’s okay.” You’re smiling so bright and wide that it almost hurts. “Namjoon━”

“Wanted to see you?” Jungkook finishes for you, remembering your words earlier in the day. 

“Yeah━” You’re rambling on now but Jungkook isn’t listening. The pain is still lingering and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He knows it isn’t right but he can’t be bothered to care. In that moment, he realizes he’d rather be anywhere but there and he’s never felt that way before.

“Uh━ You know what?” He cringes slightly when he interrupts you. “Forgot I had to do something actually. Mina called earlier ━ said she wanted to talk or whatever.”

Your face immediately drops at the mention of the other girl and it pains him even more to know that you don’t see through his blatant lie. What’s worse is that Mina had called him the night before, but he had turned her down promptly before she could even say what she wanted. 

You glance over your shoulder fleetingly as if to look for Namjoon, teeth sinking into the soft flesh of your lower lip. “But I thought you needed to talk with Joon about the show?”

“Can’t, sorry. Tell Namjoon he can do whatever he wants. I don’t care. Seems like he’s got his hands full with you here anyway.”

He hates himself for it ━ he hates how petty he can be, how rude he can sound without truly meaning it ━ but before he can explain himself or apologize in a way that would probably make him look even more like an idiot, he turns his back to you. It’s the first time he’s really ever done something like that. Usually, he puts up with it ━ with you draped over Namjoon’s lap or Taehyung’s hand on your waist because usually he hadn’t always had feelings for you. 

Truth be told, Jungkook doesn’t know how Namjoon or Taehyung feel about “sharing” you. He doesn’t even know how you feel about it or if you’ve noticed Jungkook’s short temper lately. He tries to contain it but he can’t and he hates how he’s become when he’s not alone with you. Lately, he’s started to think that maybe this isn’t right anymore. Maybe he shouldn’t keep meeting up with you if he’s going to feel this way all the time, and it wasn’t fair to you for him to be sulking so much. He’s not supposed to be in love. He’s supposed to be having fun. 

After all, that’s what it was to you, wasn’t it?

But that night something happens.

Jungkook only notices you half an hour into the show later that night even despite the fact that you’re in the same place that you always are, standing on the side in the part of the pit closest to the stage where only family and close friends are allowed to stay. Of course you’re dancing along, just like you always do, and of course you’re watching him and the rest of the boys with starry eyes, just how he loves. You smiled wide at some point when his gaze locked with yours ━ him, drenched in sweat and nearing exhaustion, and you, face-flushed and looking as if you’re having the time of your life.

But that’s the thing about you ━ you’re not like the others. Sure, your eyes tend to drift to him more often than not and linger on him longer than necessary but you don’t just come for him. You live for the music, admire the rest of the boys that have treated him so dearly and make the group what it is. 

And the way he performs ━ you wonder if he purposely exerts himself more because he wants you to only focus on him. Every rough thrust of his hips, every time he grabs at his crotch, dark and hooded eyes meets yours and you know he’s trying to tease you. Trying to make you suffer.

Later, when the concert is finished and you’re at a private room in a club with the boys to celebrate the evening and Jungkook has had one too many shots, he finds you at the bar. He sidles up from behind you, one palm sliding onto the small of your back. You know it’s him even before you look, judging by the familiar stature of his chest pressing against your body, and his usual scent. His lips press to the crook of your neck and your lips unfurl into a smile. You reach up blindly to grab at the nape of his neck as he starts to sway against you to the beat of the music, hips digging into your ass.

“I’ve been dying to be next to you all night.” He whispers this into the shell of your ear and you wonder vaguely how you’ve maintained enough self-control to not drop to your knees and suck him off then and there. Even worse is the fact that he’s still adorned in the makeup from the concert. Your fingers scratch at one of the newly shaved sides of his head, the rest of his long locks only maintain some of its original style pushed back and off his forehead, though now messily mused as it splays out on either side of his head and threatens to hide the undercut once more.

“You’re drunk,” You point out. He doesn’t seem to register the fact that you only point it out because otherwise, if he wasn’t so smashed, you aren’t quite sure he’d even be touching you the way he is now after the way he’s been acting lately.

“So are you,” Jungkook hums. “Let’s get out of here?”

And you can’t possibly say no. 

He thinks it’s a shame, really, because you had looked quite pretty that night wearing a velvet red dress. Because after somehow calling a taxi and stumbling back to his dorm, he gets lost in you for a while and completely ravishes you, impatiently ripping your dress off you and pressing you against the wall, hips eagerly digging into yours until you hook your legs around his hips and he carries you off to bed to finish. 

When you’re spent from your first high, Jungkook moves from your sprawled out positions on the bed and gets up, pulling on a pair of discarded sweatpants from the floor. You watch him as he combs his hair back that’s fallen into his face again, muscles in his biceps rippling as he does so. He reaches for an acoustic guitar in one corner, then sinks onto the edge of the bed. He’s not usually this quiet after a night spent together, though you don’t quite seem to notice, thinking nothing of it as he starts plucking away at the guitar with a melody in mind if only because when he’s frustrated and stuck on a lyric, he usually goes to you in seek of help in terms of finding relief. You get to your knees, crawling over to him so that you can drape your arms around his shoulders from the back.

“That’s pretty,” You sigh dreamily, nodding to the guitar and the lazy strumming he had been doing. In the distance, you realize there’s been music playing faintly the whole time from the dock where his phone is plugged in. You recognize one of the boys’ songs playing, then realize it’s Jungkook’s solo, his own voice singing beautifully back to you. Above all else, you realize all at once that he isn’t really playing anything at all, or brainstorming a new song, but plucking along absentmindedly to the melody of his own song. 

He’s distracted but he tenses at your touch, then relaxes at once, melting instantly against you. “Just messing around,” he sighs.

“Nonsense,” You giggle. He glances over at you just in time to see you reach for his hand, and he watches as you play with the rings on his fingers. “There’s magic in these hands. In more ways than one.”

You press a chilling kiss against his palm, and then the tip of each of his fingers. Time seems to slow, and all he can suddenly focus on is you. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” His voice has a dull, stubborn whine to it that he can’t shake. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Once or twice,” You smirk. You busy yourself by focusing on lining the bottom of your palm with his, measuring your hand in his. He’s much bigger than you, his fingers nearly towering over yours and they’re always so snug and warm.

“Well, it’s true,” he says. “You’re the kinda girl songs are written about.”

“Unless I’m mistaken,” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, “you have written songs about me.”

He feigns a look of doubt, though a smile threatens to tug at his mouth, especially when you delicately lace your fingers with his one-by-one. “Ah, is that what you think, baby girl? Don’t let the fame get to your head.”

You laugh, dropping your head and leaning your temple against his knuckles in an attempt to hide your sheepish face. With his free hand, he sets his guitar back onto the floor and then unravels his other hand from yours. His palm is calloused and hot as it slides onto your cheek, and you nuzzle into it even despite him guiding your face back up to look at him. He can’t help himself; he leans in to kiss you, biting at your lower lip and earning a delicious moan. As his hands come to grip at your sides just over your ribs and the underside of your breasts do you crawl into his lap to straddle him. For a while, he lets himself get carried away, feeling your hands roam his chest, but then with such vivid intensity, he can only imagine Namjoon and Taehyung in the same position as him and it almost makes him want to vomit. Either that, or it’s the alcohol. Gathering his wits, he shakes his head, pulling apart from you.

“I think I should write━” He fumbles uselessly with his words. “Namjoon’s gonna kill me if I don’t finish these songs━”

You arch your chest against his, warm and soft and palpable, and your hips dig into his a little more roughly, rubbing against his straining erection. You can be heard whining sluggishly as you kiss the underside of his jaw, “But I want you inside me, Kook.”

His breath hitches in his throat, but he can’t think straight anymore. Is the scent he smelling even you anymore, or just a mix of Namjoon and Taehyung? And when you tell him he’s the only one who can ever make you feel the way he does, do you tell that to them too? 

His silence is answer enough, and is what ultimately forces you to look up at him. You’re met with an empty expression, then your own countenance is contorting. You sit back on his lap. 

“I don’t understand you anymore, Jungkook,” You say. There it is, he laments to himself. The familiar pang to his chest, the dreaded realization that maybe he’s fucked this whole thing up forever. “It’s like sometimes you can’t get enough of me, touching me here and there and just before shows when you’re supposed to be on in ten minutes, telling me that no one will care if you’re late. Then sometimes it’s like you won’t even look at me. Like you can’t get me off of you fast enough; like you can’t even touch me anymore.”

Jungkook avoids your stare, which he knows is exactly the sort of thing he shouldn’t do. But you already have your answer. You clamber off of his lap at once to slide back onto the bed and he wants nothing more than to pull you back but he knows he shouldn’t. Now, you seem flustered, or maybe just disheartened. Your arms come to cross over your bare chest, as if to hide yourself.

“You don’t want to touch me anymore,” You say dryly. 

It’s not a question so much as it is a statement. Either way, he shakes his head. Rubbing a tired hand over his face, he mumbles, “Maybe you should go.”

You clamp your mouth shut. “You’re not serious, Jungkook.”

He still doesn’t dare to meet your gaze, his jaw set hard in place. 

“You’re kicking me out? Now? Now?” 

“I’m not. I’m just━ Not in the mood tonight.”

“What a liar,” You gasp. “I had your stupid boner poking my ass the entire time we were at the club, and you sure as hell spent the better part of the night fucking me.”

He can’t quite tell if you’re mad. Your tone dances a fine line between incredulousness and amusement, though he assumes it all boils down to disappointment in the end anyway. You refuse to move, though, pushing yourself onto your knees beside him.

“Tell me the truth, Jungkook,” You plead carefully. “Something’s wrong. Has been for a while, and I want to know what it is.”

He takes a deep breath and finally meets your stare and, god, you look irresistible. Your lips are bruised red from him biting and sucking at them, and your exposed chest is too tempting, beckoning him to touch you. His mind is a whirlwind of emotions ━ plus, he’s just a little bit tipsy, and so he blames it on that for caving into you so easily.

He grimaces. “I’m jealous, all right?” 

You don’t respond at first, and he decides he wants to curl up into a hole and die. Then, you snort, which isn’t exactly the sort of reaction he was expecting to hear from you, and suddenly you don’t seem so angry at him anymore. “I knew that. Was wondering when you’d tell me, though.”

“You what?”

“Well, it’s not that hard to see. You’re always giving Namjoon and Taehyung death glares when I’m around.”

“I didn’t think I was that obvious.” He says this sheepishly, and at least you giggle at him. “I just━ I’m selfish. I want you to myself.”

“I’m not a thing to have,” You retort.

“I know,” he says, and then groans the words again. “Fuck, I know. I’m sorry. I know you’re not a thing to have, and you’re not mine to have but, god, I hate it that they know everything about what it feels like to be with you.”

Gently, he grabs at your waist, tugging you onto his lap, rough hands spreading your thighs to sit perfectly on him once more. Then, with his hands planted on your hips, does he guide you back and forth on him slowly. He reaches out to brush his fingers along your bare arms, then across your collarbones, and down to your breasts. He leans down as if to kiss the valley between them, but his mouth never really does meet your skin; instead, his lips graze faintly against you.

“That they know your body.” He brushes his nose against your chest as he lifts his head. His mouth ghosts across your breasts, almost catching your nipples in his mouth, his breath warm and tingly against the sensitive flesh, just to tease you. His hand follows his lips, grasping firmly at the underside of your breast, his thumb flicking over the perked bud. “Have touched it where I’ve touched it.”

Your own hands flail out to grasp at his shoulders, your breath hitching in your throat. “Why? Why do you hate it so much? That’s all I want to know.”

“Because they don’t even know how lucky they are,” he mutters. “Because you probably do all sorts of things for them and they just think you’re another groupie. Because they aren’t in love with you.”

“You’re in love with me?” Your face is hot now, your body trembling. His hands are still on your chest when he starts kissing your throat. 

“Yeah. I am.”

“What if I told you I’m in love with you too?”

“Well, you are fucking my band mates. I think that makes things a tad bit complicated.”

“You’re such an idiot.” You’re certain if he wasn’t making you feel like heaven in that moment, you would have snapped the words. Instead, you’re already shamelessly grinding your hips against his even without his guidance. “I called it off with them a while ago, actually. They were okay with it, too. Said they felt something was different. You’re the only one in my life, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stops suddenly. He pulls his head back to gawk at you and is greeted to your hooded eyes watching him. “You━ What? What about this morning when you said Namjoon wanted to see you?”

“I lied,” You admit timidly. 

“And when you were in his room━”

“We never did anything,” You promise. “I just wanted to see a reaction from you. Honestly, so did Taehyung and Namjoon. I mean, Namjoon purposely told me to come to his room to see if you’d be jealous. And I think I went along with it because I really just want to know that when you ask me to stay with you, in your bed, do you really mean it? I just…” You trail off, biting at your lower lip, asking him apprehensively, “What about you and that Mina girl?”

“I haven’t seen her or talked to her in months,” he says earnestly.

“Of course not.” You say this in a breathless laughing manner, as if it’s just now dawning on you. Then, you reach up to cradle his head in your hands, grasping at either side of his face. When you speak next, your voice is an ardent whisper. “I want to be with you, Kook. Like really, really be with you. I didn’t know how to tell you because we were so used to just having sex and nothing more and I figured if that’s all I could get with you, then I’d learn to live with it even if it’d kill me to hear you hooking up with other girls.”

Jungkook blinks. He takes a moment to comprehend what’s happening, but then he’s feeling that tension in his chest loosen and he’s just so relieved. 

“There’s only you,” he says. “Has been for a while.”

You smile, so big and soft and pretty, and he kisses you just to bask in the moment. Suddenly, he’s just overwhelmed with love for you and almost doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

“Maybe I should get you jealous more often,” You muse pensively. “It’s kinda hot.”

“It’s mean,” he pouts. Then, his demeanour changes and he’s smirking wolfishly. “Besides, they can’t fuck you like I can, can they?”

“N-No,” You croak feebly. “It’s always been you, Jungkook. Even with them. I’d never tell them but… you’re all I could think about even when I was with them. Imagining you touching me instead of them. Imagining it was you when they laid with me.”

This seems to grab his attention, having him groaning into your neck. “What’d I say? Gonna be the death of me.”

You shiver at the sound of his hoarse voice. You whisper aloud, “The feeling is mutual.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so stupid lately,” he says. “Let me make it up to you. Do you want that, baby girl? But first you gotta show me you mean it. That you’re mine.”

As he tongues a pattern against your throat, you muster a nod. You wonder if it’s obvious how badly you want him in that moment, with the way your hips continue to grind against his. 

“I want you to fuck yourself on my thigh,” he murmurs against you. “Can you do that for me?”

The thought entices you and has you scrambling to nod your head again. His large hands come to grab at your ass, shifting you until you’re seated on one of his legs. Your eyes never stray from his as you start to grind against his thigh, the rough material of his sweatpants rubbing at your core. Slow and steady, he guides you back and forth, watching as your pretty mouth pops open into a silent gasp.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he coos. “God, you look so pretty. And you’re all mine. Touch yourself for me.”

“Where?” You ask breathlessly.

“All over. Anywhere you want me.”

You whimper at the thought, imagining the feeling of his rough hands on your body. You start at your chest, grasping at your own breasts, squeezing at your perked nipples. You pinch them until they’re hard under your fingertips, kneading the soft flesh of your breasts with your palm as you try to picture Jungkook doing the same. Then, you slide one hand down the front of your stomach, past your navel. He watches as you dip lower and lower before finally reaching between your legs, fingers rubbing small circles against your clit. The mingling feelings of you rutting your hips against his thigh and the way you touch yourself under his burning stare has you writhing on his lap within seconds. 

“Oh, Jungkook━” Your eyes clamp shut, brows knitting in concentration. “Wanna feel you so bad━”

“Uh uh,” he tuts at once. Grabbing at your chin, he yanks your head back up in his direction and taps his thumb against your jaw. “Keep your eyes on me. I want to see how I make you feel.”

“But it feels so good,” You whine. Still, you listen, prying your eyes open just slightly enough to meet his stare again. Now, you’ve started to grind a little harder on him, rubbing at your heat a little faster. “Please, Jungkook━”

“Cum for me first,” he coos, his tone gentle despite his obvious demands. “Then I’ll do whatever you want. You can do that for me, right?”

You muster a nod, eyes threatening to flutter shut again but you refrain. He moves one of his arms to wrap around your waist, his large hard encompassing almost all of your back as he pushes you closer to him and the action alone is enough to make you hum with delight. 

“Tell me what you want me to do to you,” he says. “The things they could never do for you.”

He doesn’t say Taehyung’s or Namjoon’s names for you to understand and, truthfully, you’re glad he doesn’t. Your mind is much too focused on Jungkook to care about anyone else.

“I want you━” You cry out suddenly, biting at your lip. “I want you to touch me, anywhere. I want you to use me, and make me yours. I want you in me. I just need your dick, Jungkook, please. You always make me feel so good. Please, please touch me━”

His jaw sets hard in place as he continues to watch you, fingers itching to please you however which way you want, but he waits. He knows you’re close to your high when you start whimpering and moaning his name, your hand falling from your chest as your other hand rubs harder at your clit the faster you ride his thigh. He flexes his muscle beneath your core, and the simple action is enough to have your head spinning. As you reach your high, his hand that is still wrapped around your chin slides upward and his two forefingers poke into your mouth. Instantly, you’re sucking against them, tongue laving at his digits desperately as you imagine his cock in your mouth, in your cunt, stretching you wide.

“God, you’re such a good girl,” he grunts. “Keep your eyes on me.”

As you unravel in his arms, body twitching into his chest, his arm tightens its hold around your back and envelopes you in his warmth so much to the point where it feels as if you begin to melt against him. You grab at his wrist, pushing his fingers deeper into your mouth until you almost gag, muffled moans meeting his ear as you climax. When you’re spent, your pace on his thigh slows to a steady occasional gyrating of your hips as you suck and lav at his fingertips.

“That’s it, baby girl,” Jungkook hums, his free hand stroking your back as you calm your nerves. When you’ve regained most of your wit, you pop Jungkook’s fingers from your mouth and he takes the liberty of guiding his palm down your chin to your throat to your breasts. “You’re doing so well for me. Bet you never listened as well to them as you do with me. Will you get on your hands and knees for me?”  

You scramble to obey, crawling off his lap and onto all fours on the bed. You crane your neck to watch as he gets to his knees behind you, shoving the material of his sweatpants down to his knees in haste. He’s already impossibly hard, grasped in his knuckles, precum leaking from the head of his dick. He wastes no time in pushing himself into you, and though he’s stretched you wide hours ago, the same feeling of him slipping in snug to your heat does wonders on your body still. 

“Mm, Jungkook!” You cry out as he buries himself balls deep into you, coaxed so easily by your slick arousal. He sputters at the sensation, palms pawing at your navel as he yanks you further down his cock. “F-Fuck━ You feel so good━”

“Show me,” he gasps, pulling his hips out once and rutting into you so vigorously you feel it shudder throughout your whole body. Then, he’s thrusting into you at a rhythmic fast pace that has you clenching so tight around him, his head spins some more. “Let me hear you. I wanna see how I make you feel. Let me see how you belong to me.”

He tugs at your elbows, yanking you up off the bed, and you clumsily follow suit, pressing your back flushed against his chest. 

“I’m all yours, Jungkook,” You whine. “I want you to wreck me so bad. Only you know how to wreck me so bad.”

“Yeah?” he taunts. “Only me? Gonna prove it?”

“Please, Jungkook━ Harder, please━ I’ll do anything you want!”

He quickens his pace and slams his hips up into yours harshly. It has you moaning with delight, nearly slipping from his grasp, but he holds you tighter in place. He reaches round to grab at your chin again, twisting your head in a careful yet prompt manner so that you’re looking over your shoulder at him with your flustered gawking expression.

“Open up.” He taps at your mouth and you do as you’re told. Almost instantly, he pulls your chin closer until your mouth is hovering over his, and spits. It’s a wordless command and gesture, as if to further prompt you to prove your point. You welcome it entirely, swallowing his own saliva completely. What doesn’t make it into your mouth, dribbles down your chin and onto your throat. Then you’re chasing his mouth, hearing him hum approvingly, “That’s it, baby.”

You almost miss his lips the first time from the way he’s being so feral now as his hips continue to slam against yours. You’re fortunate when he guides your chin, still pinched between his fingers, in a much too tender manner for the crude moment that has your heart swooning despite all the hysteria. A hot open-mouthed kiss which is still entirely sloppy as your tongues ravish mid-air, and his teeth nip and suck on your lower lip any chance he can get. 

“Gonna tell them how well I fuck you?” he asks breathlessly. You bite at his lip this time, tugging at it hard. “Let them know you’re all mine? Fuck━”

“Mhm!” You rasp. “Oh, Jungkook━”

By now, his pace is relentless. You threaten to ricochet from his grip with each rut of his hips, knees wobbling beneath you. He hand falls from your chin finally to grab at your breasts, replacing your earlier efforts, pinching at your nipples, squeeze at your soft flesh. He lavs wet kisses along your jawline, your neck, and shoulder. Your own head leans back onto his shoulder, a hand reaching out to grasp at his hair. Your fingers first scratch at the shaved sides, then thread through his hair, yanking at it tightly enough to have him grunting in delight.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna━” You whimper. “I’m gonna━”

But you don’t finish your thought. It doesn’t matter anyway. Jungkook already knows you’re close to your high with the way you start to clench around him. You pull even tighter at his hair, a pleasant burn evoking a hiss from his throat. His hips move even faster than before, desperate to try and carry you to your high. So riddled from your first orgasm not long ago and the one before that, you’re quick to crumble beneath him once more. Twisting and turning, you cry out his name in a repeated mantra, like music to his ears. When the scorching heat between your thighs and blinding your eyes subsides enough for you to be somewhat coherent again, you meekly find your voice.

“Tell me I’m yours,” You beg despairingly, voice barely a ragged panting whisper. The aftershock of your orgasm still shakes through your body that the way you’re clutching at his hair now is only so that you can still have some sort of hold on reality still. “Please, please. Tell me. I wanna be yours so bad. You already have me, just wanna hear it from you. Tell me you want me as much as I want you. Please, Jungkook━”

A nerve flutters in Jungkook’s heart. And his dick. He marvels momentarily at the idea of how he wants to continue to wreck you and simultaneously love you all over and grows impatient. Without warning, and with much difficulty, he pulls out of you. Before you can register what’s happening or miss the warmth of his cock in your heat, he pushes you onto the bed and flips you around so that you’re on your back. Then, hovering over you close enough so that he can hook one of your legs over his shoulder, he pushes himself back into you. 

“You’re all I want,” he says, smoothing his mouth over yours once more. He moans against your lips, then rests his forehead against yours as he squeezes his eyes shut. “God, I’m so fucking in love with you. You make it so hard to think sometimes. Everything about you drives me wild.”

His pace isn’t as harsh as before, though he’s careless as he abandons all form in an attempt to ride out your high and reach his own. Each thrust he makes jolts you back and forth on the bed, the sensitivity between your thighs a mild burn that starts to crescendo as you gasp each time his cock slides back into you. You reach out tiredly to grab at his face with soft motions despite not bothering to move him from where he still rests with his forehead. One large palm of his comes to grasp at your side, pushing you further into the mattress as he hammers into you. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum━” He moans. “Gonna let me fill you up, baby? Gonna let me make your cunt mine?”

“Yes, please,” You rasp. “Wanna feel it so bad.”

It’s different this time despite knowing the sensation well enough from all those times before. Every event since then has been a build up to this, and when he finally releases into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. The last few sluggish ruts of his hips make the both of you whimper and whine, mewling with delight the longer he cums in your heat. 

Then, he slumps against your chest and the room falls silent once more safe for the sound of your mingled panting. He burrows his face into the crook of your neck and your fingers rake through his sweaty hair in a soothing manner until that too ceases after a few silent moments. 

“Not falling asleep on me now, are you?” he asks after the thrill of both your highs have subsided. He lifts his head to look at you and finds that you are, in fact, beginning to doze off. 

“No,” You lie. You pry one eye open to look at him as you bite back a sheepish snicker. He pulls out of you at long last, and the lack of warmth has you immediately protesting. You reach out  blindly for him before he can move too far. “Come back here. I want to cuddle you.” Then, letting your surroundings register once more, you realize suddenly that music has still been playing all this time. Most specifically, Jungkook’s solo which has been left on a loop. You meet his curious gaze in the dark and deadpan, “Did you seriously just fuck me to your song?”

“It’s not fucking when we were making love,” he wriggles his brows suggestively. You wonder how he’s always so quick to go from one extreme to the other. Whereas five minutes ago, you wanted nothing more than to have him demolish you with his dick, now he’s just his usual lovable idiotic self that you want to kiss all over. He’s not wrong though, you discern. The song isn’t a bad one either, and the thought of him having sex with you to his own music is undescriably hot anyway. 

“You can’t say you were making love to me when you just took me raw.” Amongst other things, you think to yourself, but you’re certain he’s well aware of that. His snickers warm your heart to no end and you can’t help yourself when you lean forward to kiss him. 

“I can and I will because I love you,” he says proudly. Then, as if tasting the words on his tongue and favouring the sound of it, hums more pensively again, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jungkook.”

And this time he knows you mean it because, in the morning, when you both wake up feeling sore and marked all over by one another (so that Namjoon and Taehyung can know), you’re still curled up into Jungkook’s chest. You’re half asleep, your nose nuzzling against the crook of his neck and making him smile. You’re only roused awake by the feather-light strokes his fingers make as they rub small circles into your back.

“Stay with me?” Jungkook asks this hopefully, of course, but he already knows the answer. This time, he even knows it’ll be different. 

He sees your sleepy smile widen when he kisses your temple sweetly, and decides quickly that he likes this, right there and now, as it is, and especially when he hears you whisper finally, “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

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[bookishdream]

can you do a one shot where kaz keeps saying he doesnt like nor does he care for the reader; she overhears him, and goes out into ketterdam but ends up getting seriously injured; also if it too much to ask, can i also add that he does end up giving her a hug but he hesitates at first —this corresponds with the fluff (angst and fluff at the end please ?)

thank you for a request! i hope you're okay with my slight change, enjoy xx

TW: blood, death, disgusting men.

kaz brekker x fem!reader

You were standing, leaning harder against the door of Kaz’s office. You wanted to talk to him about your next job, since you had to buy some bullets and a new knife for Nina and yourself. But what you overheard made your heart shatter into little pieces.

“I don’t care what happens to y/n, she’s another member of the Dregs. I can easily replace her if something happened to her,” bastard’s words were like daggers, cutting your skin and making their way into your heart. You were so stupid falling for him. “Now, Wylan, go and build a bomb or should I replace you as well?”

You heard Wylan’s huff and his steps. When he got out of Kaz’s room and noticed you, his eyes got wide. You sent him a crooked smile and made your way into Brekker’s room.

“I need a list of what you want for the job.” You said, voice steady even though you wanted to fall apart.

“On my desk.”

He wasn’t looking at you, busy with counting his money, you rolled your eyes and took a piece of paper from a wooden desk. You made your way out, not saying another word. Your heart clenched, you wanted to punch yourself for feeling even the slightest emotion for him. You should’ve known better than that, you should’ve known he wouldn’t feel nor show you any kind of emotion except hatred or disgust.

You got out of the club onto Ketterdam’s streets. You loved the city, even though it was dark and dangerous, you felt this was your home. You came here from northern Ravka, before your parents made you to join the First Army. You ran away from them and from the responsibility to protect your country, but you hadn’t felt bad about that, those two years ago and certainly you didn’t feel bad then.

You walked to the best shop with knives you’d known. You bought your first dagger there and you were sure about the quality of blades that were sold in the shop. The old Fabrikator was working there and when he learnt you were from Ravka, he started treating you as his daughter, selling you everything you need with lower prices.

“Hi, Milosh how are you feeling today?” you asked, entering the small shop, the older man smiled seeing you.

“Hello darling, I’m doing great,” he replied, eyeing you and noticing your dark circles underneath your eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?”

You only nodded, didn’t answer his question further. You gave him the list and when he was looking for the items, you looked out of the window. You noticed three Black Tips but you didn’t pay them more attention. You looked away and focused on Milosh. He had fair hair, probably after his father who were Fjerdan. Few months ago, when he’d found you wandering around Ketterdam, he’d asked for you to come with him to this shop. He’d given you hot cocoa and had told you some stories and myths from both Ravka and Fjerda. He’d told you about his father who once had come with a wolf and the wolf had stayed, about his mother who had been the warmest woman alive, especially when she’d made him a warm bread slice with butter and then read him stories. He was your spirit connection to your mother country, so you knew every legend, every myth and even the story about the Fold.

You heard a door bell ring and you looked behind you only to see those three guys from Geels’ gang. Your spine straightened, your palm subtly went to your belt in order to take out the knife if needed. You looked at them, but they were already looking at you with smirks on their face. You cursed under your breath, knowing it’d be troubles and you didn’t know how it’d come out.

“Who we have here boys? Brekker’s girl.” One of them said, making his way towards you, eyeing you up and down.

“I’m wondering if he got some, she’s even pretty.” The other one came behind you, grabbing you roughly by your arm. You tried to free yourself, but his second hand quickly found its way to yours, cutting your only way to defend yourself.

“I have what you needed, darling,” Milosh came out from the small room, closing the door behind him, when he noticed your position he closed his mouth, forming a thin line. “I think you should leave her.” He said to the guy who was holding you. You clenched your teeth, praying for Milosh to back out. You knew Black Tips, they weren’t the smartest, but they were first to kill and you wanted your friend safe.

“Milosh, get away from here.” You ordered, trying to shake off the hands holding you, the Black Tip only hardened his hold and pressing you to his body.

“And leave you? They should leave, not me.”

“Listen, grandpa, the girl’s right. You leave and we’re going to have some quality time with her,” disgust twisted your face, you wanted to kick him, but you knew they would outnumber you.

Milosh only looked at him and from behind him, the knives started to levitating, he used his powers to push them forward, targeting an opponent’s chest. One of the knives hit him in his neck, killing him. The guy behind you let you go and you quickly turned around, placing your dagger in his crotch. He screamed making you cringe.

“This is why you shouldn’t touch a girl without her permission.”

You looked at the third Black Tip, but he took out a gun, targeting Milosh. You threw a dagger at the same time he pulled the trigger. Knife stuck at his neck, making the pistol fall out of his hands. You looked at Milosh to check on him, but you saw a pool of blood and the man laying on his side.

“No,” you whispered, stumbling against your own legs. You fall on your knees, seeing the shot wound was on his chest, that still was slowly rising. “Milosh, please, stay with me.”

“Y/n, my dear, Saints are going to keep me safe,” he said, making your eyes water. “But you have to let me go.”

You shook your head, placing your hand on his chest, trying to stop the blood from leaking. You felt the hot tears streaming down your face. He was like your father, he couldn’t leave you. “Please.”

But his eyelids closed, making your heart break into pieces. You hugged Milosh, messing your shirt with his blood, but you didn’t care. After what felt like hours, you stood up and went for items you had come here. You felt guilty, you should’ve gone to a different store, you put Milosh in danger.

You walked out of his shop, closing the door gently. The Stadwacht would be there the next day, perhaps someone would four dead bodies, laying on the floor. Your hold on the bag with bullets and a dagger, grew tighter. You tried to calm yourself, but tears still were threatening to pour out of your red eyes. You didn’t want to show how miserable you were, you tried to wipe them off, but you didn’t notice the blood on your sleeve. Now, with blood both on your shirt and face, you looked like a psycho.

You entered the Club with the back door and you go to Kaz’s room, hoping he’d be there. You knocked and instantly after, you let yourself in. He was sitting in his chair, but when you came in, he looked up, his eyes widened at the blood which was everywhere.

“What happened to you?” he asked, getting up and making a step towards you. But like he thought better of it, he stopped, placing one of his hands on his desk. “Are you injured?”

You wanted to say something, but when you opened your mouth, only a sob came out. Kaz seeing how you barely could stand on your legs, took your arm and gently led you to the chair next to his desk.

“Y/n, I need to know if you’re wounded.” He said, looking at you, his eyes soft.

“It’s not my blood,” you whispered, making him let out the breath. He felt better knowing you were not bleeding. “It’s my fault he’s dead.”

Kaz’s head snapped, he tried to understand who you were talking about, but you only looked dead into his eyes. “I killed him, Kaz.”

You were never a person who cried after killing someone from another gang, he knew it had been hard for you since the beginning, but he had never seen you crying. He felt his heart clenched at that sight. “What happened?”

You started playing with your fingers, trying to avoid this conversation, but you knew he had to know. “Do you know who Milosh is?”

Kaz frowned, trying to put a face into the name, he nodded his head when he recalled the old man working in the store, where you bought your weapons. “He was like a father to me,” you wiped off the tears from your cheeks. “Even though I still have one, he acted more like my dad than my real one,” you laughed, but the sound was dry and humourless. You told him everything that happened. About the Black Tips, how Milosh wanted to keep you safe but he failed. How that one Black Tip was still lying unconscious on the shop’s floor. Kaz’s jaw clenched, he wanted to kill this man. You looked up at him and slowly got up. He made a step back, letting you.

You walked to the door, eyes dry and you placed your hand on the door knob.

“Wait.”

You turned around, facing Kaz who was slowly walking towards you. One minute he was beside the chair and the second one his arms were around your back, gently hugging you. You were shocked, but after a second, you hugged him back, tightening your arms around his waist. You heard him taking a breath, and you wanted to let go, but he only held you closer.

“Are you okay with that?”

“I’m great.”