#not really but the quote at the beginning mentions sobriety so

[the-lincyclopedia]

Ten months sober, I must admit, just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it

This is not about drugs or alcohol. 

It’s been ten months to the day since I told First Boyfriend not to contact me again, and I’ve been listening to the Taylor Swift song “Clean” lately, which is where I got the title of this post, and I decided to post about that whole thing now rather than (or honestly maybe in addition to) posting about it at the one-year mark. 

I’m not going to tell the full story here. I have something like that in my Google Drive, and it’s 12 pages single spaced and still feels like it’s mostly just the highlights. Here’s what I will say: 

We were in the same first grade class. The first time I remember interacting with him was during recess in fifth or sixth grade, when he and a couple of his friends walked up to my friends and me, and he tackled me silently. I got up, brushed myself off, and kicked him in the shins; he tackled me again and walked away. This whole thing occurred without a single word being spoken. My khakis got grass stains. I misspelled his last name when I wrote about it in my diary. 

We got close in eighth grade. This was the year after my mom had almost died, and I felt different from all my friends and classmates. He was different, too. (I later found out we’re both autistic. That explains a lot.) Our different-ness was part of what drew us together. So, too, was my sense that he wasn’t okay. When my mom had been at her sickest, I’d had a purpose, briefly, taking care of my sister, but now my mom wanted her job as our parent back and I was looking for other sources of meaning. Taking care of him was one of them. 

Two of my friends and I threw him a surprise 14th birthday party in the spring of eighth grade. All three of us had crushes on him at that point. The birthday party was a smashing success and honestly still a memory I treasure, mostly because of the massive water balloon fight. 

On October 5 of our freshman year of high school, he was at his then-girlfriend’s swim meet, and our mutual best friend was there with him. He told her he was seriously thinking of killing himself that night. She tried to talk him out of it but didn’t make much progress, so she called me, sobbing, and then handed the phone to him, and I talked him down. It was the first time he and I said “I love you” to each other. Seeing him at school the next morning was the biggest, most visceral relief I’ve ever known. 

His girlfriend broke up with him in late November. Five days later, upstairs in a dark hallway during our mutual best friend’s Hanukkah party, he kissed me twice on the jaw line. I knew he’d hurt himself if I let on that I hadn’t wanted it, so I very carefully asked him not to do that again. 

A week later, I asked him out. (I know.)

We dated for a little over a year before my parents, especially my father, started telling me that a year was too long for a high school relationship; that since I wasn’t going to marry him, it made no sense to continue. I caved to the pressure, even though I didn’t want to break up with him. 

I hadn’t cried since my mother’s cancer diagnosis three years earlier, but the breakup broke me. I cried daily for the first two weeks, and it took under a month for me to become suicidal. I called him--I’d talked him out of suicide, so it felt fair--and he talked me down. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bear hearing “Don’t” or “You can’t.” That those things would make me say, “Watch me.” He told me, “It’s your choice, but I hope you don’t, and this is why I didn’t.” 

We started flirting during the second month of the breakup, and it was more fun than we’d ever had together before. We got back together after ten weeks apart and things got easier. 

We stayed together for nearly two years this time. It went better the second time; he lied less and was mostly better about consent. (If those phrases seem concerning, they should.)

I broke up with him the second time because I watched series three of Sherlock and realized that Mary’s behavior, all the lying and the double life, seemed totally normal to me. I don’t want to go into the details of his lies because I’m embarrassed for having believed him, but suffice it to say he was rarely honest about anything, and eventually I realized I wanted trust to be part of my relationships. 

The first month after the second breakup was awkward (we had classes together, and we competed in the state math tournament together, and we rode the same tour bus halfway across the country with the rest of the school’s music department), but after about a month there was a night when I wound up in his lap, sobbing and promising that I didn’t hate him or want him out of my life but that I’d just needed the romantic part to be done. Things got much less awkward after that. 

We went to college on opposite ends of the same state. We saw each other on breaks. He kept kissing my forehead until I told him not to. When studying abroad went miserably for me, I told him I never wanted to go another day without hearing the words “I love you,” and he said he could make that happen. He texted me “Much love” every day for over three years after that. 

It took six and a half years after breaking up with him for good to realize that what he’d done to me was wrong. (And I still don’t know how to tell the story that way, coherently, largely because of the fake double life he made up that I’m embarrassed for having believed in.) But ten months ago, at my first appointment with my current therapist, I read aloud the 12 pages of chronological narrative I have about him, plus the three pages about the time he pushed past my boundaries most dramatically, right after we turned 15. My therapist confirmed that what had happened was abuse, and I texted him to let him know I didn’t want him to contact me anymore. 

He got engaged last month, which I know because I’m in occasional contact with his now-fiancée, mostly because I want her to know someone will believe her if she ever wants out. It’s weird to know he’s going to get married. It’s weird to think of him being with someone other than me, even though he’s been with his fiancée for almost four years now. For all the fucked up parts, he was still my first love. 

I chose to start this with the quote from “Clean” because I miss him. When Mary Louise Kelly got cussed out by that Trump administration official last fall, I wanted to talk to him about it, because we both listen to a lot of NPR and no one else in my life does, other than my parents. When my mental health took a dip in early June, I wished I could call him, because he was absolute magic when it came to talking me out of a bad headspace. When my mom and I played Scrabble a couple weeks ago, I wanted to text him a picture of the board, because he’s so good at Scrabble and we played it a lot. 

None of that nostalgia means I should let him back into my life. I know that, and I’m not going to get in contact with him. I don’t trust him and I don’t think there’s anything in the world that could change that. I deserved honesty from him, especially when we were dating. I deserved not to have my boundaries pushed during intimacy. I deserved not to be used as an alternative to therapy when he could afford therapy and was just choosing to use me instead. I deserved these things, but I did not get them. He should have done better. 

Ten months sober, I must admit, just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it. Ten months older, I won’t give in. Now that I’m clean, I’m never gonna risk it. 

[thegreatestofheck]

warm //Fred Weasley\\

warnings - mentions of death, angst and a lot of it, really like there is nothing here except angst and also Fred dies again. also, I didn’t edit this.  synopsis - you and your husband survive the second wizarding war, but so do some of Voldemort’s old followers, and they are hell bent on revenge.  pairings - muggle!reader x Fred Weasley a/n - so this is based on a dream I had a long while ago and I just needed to get off my chest. I hope y’all enjoy it. Also, sorry, I’m not british and it feels weird typing Mum and not being british so I just used Mom. I apologize. And yes, the first part of this was an actual dream that I had once and it absolutely broke me to pieces. So, here I am sharing it with you so that you can all cry too. You’re welcome. 

~~~

You had spent many Christmases with the Weasleys, but this was your first Christmas celebrating as a Weasley. 

You twisted the simple copper bands around your fingers, as you always did when you were nervous. Fred Weasley, your husband, reached out to take your hand without even looking at your fidgetiness. He knw you well enough to know when you were nervous. 

“You already know everyone here,” he said in a low whisper. “There’s no need to be afraid.” 

“I’m not scared of your family!” You told him quietly with a smile before placing your other hand gently over your stomach. “I’m just...nervous about telling them.”

Fred looked over at you as if suddenly remembering that you were expecting your first kid, who would be the second of Molly and Arthur’s grandkids, right after Victoire. He smiled at you and then smiled down at your hand. 

“George and Angelina already know, what’s the difference from telling everyone else?” 

“Well, let’s think,” you hummed sarcastically, tapping your free hand against your chin. “Oh, right, there’s like a million people in your family and I have a paralyzing fear of public speaking.” 

Fred laughed and it sent your stomach rolling like it always did. Your dad had warned you about what would happen after your honeymoon period had ended, how the butterflies might go away, but it had been almost a year and every time Fred smiled, your entire body still burst with joy at the sight of it. 

“We’ll just go in and figure it out from there, yeah?” He said, with a side smile and his never fading confidence. You squeezed his hand and smiled back. 

“Yeah.” 

You sucked in one last calming breath as Fred lifted his hand to knock on the wooden door. It was your final chance at peace before the world decsended into the chaos that was the Weasley-Potter-Granger-Johnson-Delacour-y/l/n family. 

Arthur opened the door and barely had time to recognize that it was you and Fred before Molly let out a cry of joy and ran to greet you. 

“My dear y/n!” Molly Weasley wrapped you in a tight hug. “How are you? How was Spain? Didn’t run into any trouble I hope?” 

“Mom!” Ginny laughed, pulling her mother away from you. “Merlin’s Beard, let her breathe!” 

“Hey, Gin,” you whispered as she pulled you in for a short squeeze. 

“Hey, sis.” 

Ginny escorted you to the dining room where the others were waiting eagerly to greet you. George and Angelina stood back, watching you and Fred with knowing smiles. Hermione let out a squeal of excitement at the sight of you, tossing Ron’s arm from around her shoulders so she could run to embrace you. 

Throwing her arms around your neck almost threw you off balance, but Fred was right behind you to keep you steady. 

“The house looks amazing,” you said Hermione pulled away. You looked up at the tall ceilings, the crooked paintings on the wall, the charmed knitting needles doing their own thing in a vacant chair. “Just like it always has been.” 

Fred snaked an arm around your waist, but not before Hermione and Ginny pulled you away to chat. 

“And who is this lovely lady?” Fred asked, walking over to a brunette standing beside Percy. The girl blushed and extended a hand. 

“This is my friend, Aubrey,” Percy told, the same level of sobriety as always. 

“Friend,” Ginny mouthed to you with air quotes. You laughed, just as easily as you always had. 

“Are Bill and Fleur here yet?” You asked. “I haven’t had the chance to get my hands on that baby of theirs.” 

“Not yet,” Angelina said as she walked over to join the group of girls. You could see the smirk on her face as she settled in beside you near the fireplace. “You’re going to have to forcibly take Victoire from Bill. He doesn’t like to let her go.” 

“She’s gonna be a daddy’s girl I see,” you teased and the girl’s laughed. 

“If Bill has anything to say about it,” Ginny added. 

Fred and George fell quickly back into their usual antics, leaving you and Angelina to watch with amused smiles from the side. 

“So,” you said quietly once the two of you were alone. “When is he asking?” 

Angelina sighed. 

“He refuses to tell me. Said something about waiting for the right moment.” You rolled your eyes. Fred had said the same thing. “Have you seen the ring?” 

“Oh, definitely.”

“What does it look like?” 

“I can’t tell you, Ang! It’s a surprise!” 

Angelina nudged you gently with her elbow, but not too hard. 

“Have you told your parents about...?” She nodded down to your stomach, sure to keep her voice low. 

“Of course I did,” you said. “My mom is just excited that her little girl’s all grown up and my dad is hoping for another magical baby.” 

“Right. How is your sister doing?” 

“She’s good. Out there living her best magical life.” There was only the faintest trace of bitterness in your voice. 

Both of your parents were muggles. Your sister ended up being a witch, but you, unfortunately, did not. Still, you and your family had always been exposed to magic, having been family friend’s with Angelina and the rest of the Johnson’s for almost your entire life. It was Angelina who introduced you to the twins when you were nine, Angelina who forced all three of you to hang out until the twins actually started to like you, Angelina who convinced Fred to ask you out, and so, naturally, it was Angelina (and George) who was that first to know about your baby. 

“Have you picked out any names yet?” Angelina asked, leaning in even closer. Your eyes sparkled as you looked at her, the very subject making nearly burst with joy. You wanted to tell her, oh how you wanted to tell her, but you and Fred had promised to keep it a secret, even from Angelina and George. 

“I can’t say just yet,” you replied. Angelina raised an eyebrow. 

Not much later, Bill and Fleur arrived, baby Victoire in her daddy’s arms. You nearly jumped out of your seat with excitement. Bill took one look at your face and nearly hid Victoire behind his wife, who simply laughed. After another long round of greetings, Arthur finally called everyone to the table. 

“Our family grows every year,” he said, his eyes beginning to swim with tears. “Each and every one of us has lived through the unimaginable.” 

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, knowing that everyone around you had fought in a war that you didn’t even know was going on. Once again, Fred reached out to grab your hand under the table without even looking at you. 

“I am so proud to get to call you my family,” Arthur said, choking up even more. Molly reached up a shaking hand and placed it over his. He looked down at her and she smiled. You pictured yourself there one day, surrounded by an enormous family, full of joy and happiness and memories despite all the pain the world would inevitably throw your way. You looked over at Fred and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“We have an announcement,” you said suddenly, smiling as you stood. Angelina immediately blossomed into a grin, while Fred turned white. You looked around at all the expectant faces watching you. 

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. His lightning bolt scar had begun to fade in the last year and a half since the Dark Lord was defeated. His glasses were almost always broken, but Hermione had taught Ginny the spell to fix it. 

Ron Weasley. No longer was he Harry’s best friend or the last of the Weasley boys. He had made a name for himself. Hunting down dark wizards to every corner of the world, the world was safer with him in it. 

Hermione Granger, on her way to becoming the first, and youngest, female Minister of Magic. With all her studying and hard work and dedication, she never lost that childlike twinkle in her eye. 

Ginny Weasley, chaser for the Holyhead Harpies. No one could beat her. With an iron grit and nerves of steel, no one could stare her down and make it out on the other side. Yet she was still the kindest person you knew. 

Fleur Weasley, a kind and loving woman, despite all the pain she suffered. 

Angelina Johnson, a wickedly talented witch and the best friend a girl could ask for. 

Percy Weasley, a pain in the arse, but the constant voice of reason. 

Bill Weasley, always find the best in every situation, even when things are the most dire. 

George Weasley, who never had an end to all the jokes and smiles, even in the darkest of times. 

Molly Weasley, who gave everything she had to her kids and kept on giving. 

Arthur Weasley, who’s courage and loyalty to his family kept them all alive for this long. 

Aubrey....well, you didn’t know her that well, but she had a kind smile and a wicked sense of fashion. 

And Fred, your Freddie, who made you laugh even when you wanted to cry, who held your hair back as you violently vomited in the toilet, who would build forts with you in your tiny loft and remind you to water your plants and feed the cat, who was more than willing to give up his joke shop and travel the world with you if that was what you wanted. Your solid rock, your standing place, your hope when the world was nothing but bleak. Your everything. 

You looked at each one of their faces and remembered how much you loved them and how grateful you were to have them in your life. And you couldn’t hold your secret in any longer. 

“Fred and I are-”

The wall beside you exploded into a million pieces, sending you flying forward. You barely heard Fred scream your name over the sounds of the others shrieking and the ringing in your ears. 

You hit the stone ground hard, the air squeezing painfully from your lungs. Your squeezed your eyes shut, praying for the high pitched squeal in your ears to fade. Once it had, all you were left with was screaming. Your eyes refused to open quickly. All you could do was blink. Dust and ash floated around your vision. Bursts of blue and green and red light flew across the room before you could even recognize it. 

“Ang!” You heard a voice cry. 

“Here!” Someone replied. 

You stood as quickly as your trembling legs allowed you to, pulling yourself by the fireplace mantel. All around you, more spells were shot back and forth through the house. You pressed yourself as tightly against the wall as you could manage, hoping to not get hit by anything stray. 

“Aubrey!” Percy shouted, grabbing hold of her wrist from between the legs of a fallen chair. 

“Go!” Arthur shouted over the cackling of the intruders and the shattering of picture frames. “We’ll find you. Just go!” 

With a hiss and a pop, Percy and Aubrey disappeared from your sight. You wished you could Apparate now. But you wouldn’t leave until you found Fred.

Taking in a deep breath as if diving under water, you ducked and rolled into the fireplace where you were hoping it would be a little more safe. 

You searched through the chaos with your eyes, afraid to move from your spot, for any sign of your husband. Your heart soared as you thought you saw him, only to realize that it was George pulling Angelina into a tight hug before following in Percy’s footsteps. 

You met Angelina’s gaze just before George Apparated them away, her eyes going wide and her lips just beginning to form the shape of your name. Your heart jumped into your throat. 

“y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call. 

“I’m here!” You weren’t sure how far your voice carried over the sound of mini explosions, or if it was even safe to give away your position at all, but anything was better right now than being alone. 

Your heart pounded in your ears as you scanned the dining room for any sign of him, but the dust and the smoke was filling the room rather quickly and it was becoming difficult to see. You could hear someone screaming and for a moment you feared it was Victoire. 

The screaming became too much and you covered your ears with your hands, only to discover that it had been you that was screaming, not anyone else. Your voice echoed through the fireplace. 

Finally, through the haze Fred came barreling through. You let out a cry of joy, lurching forward at the sight of him, leaving the safety of your hiding place.. 

“Avada-” 

You reached forward with all your might, seeing a smile on his face as he reached out to grab hold of your arm. As soon as his skin met yours, there was a shout from someone else, almost like a warning cry, and your stomach lurched, the familiar feeling of Apparating. 

You squeezed your eyes tight, not wanting to watch the world spin out of control around you while you were taken to wherever it was the Fred wanted you to go. You thought of your trip to Spain, of the beautiful countryside where there was no one for miles. In the sleepless nights since you had returned and through the bouts of horrible morning sickness, that countryside was peaceful enough to calm you down. 

So, when the spinning sensation stopped and you finally opened your eyes, you were surprised to find yourself standing on those same countryside. Fred quickly pulled his hand from yours as he landed. Before you could even question why he brought you both here, your stomach churned again, but this time, it wasn’t magic. Your baby heavily disagreed with your husband’s quick way of travelling. 

After emptying your guts into the grass, you straightened and looked up at the blue sky. 

“It’s still so beautiful here, Freddie,” you said, letting your eyes close as the gentle breeze blew through your hair. “But why bring us here? Why not somewhere-”

Your heart dropped into your stomach as you turned around to face him. 

He lay on his back, arms out beside him as he stared up at the beautiful sky above him. Only, he wasn’t staring. His eyes weren’t seeing at all. 

“Freddie?” 

You walked over to him, your heart roaring to life, beating so wildly in your chest, you feared you might explode. 

Dropping to the ground beside him, you fought back the water that was rapidly obscuring your vision. 

“Freddie.” You reached out to take his hand, only to find him cold as stone. A horrified gasped came from your mouth. Nothing about Fred had ever been cold. He was light and life and everything warm under the sun. His soul burned like a thousand infernos, heating everything in his wake. His heart was a million suns beating in unison, to the same rhythm as yours. Nothing about Fred was ever cold. 

Except, now his hands. Now the distant, glazed over look in his eyes. Now the ghost of his last smile etched onto his lips. 

Leaning over him, you could have sworn you saw a flash of green reflected in those beautiful brown eyes of his and your mouth fell open in shock. 

“Freddie!” You cried, suddenly realizing what exactly had happened. “Fred!” 

You took his cold hand in yours, bringing it to your lips. You breathed against his knuckles, hoping to give him some of the warmth that you had left in you. 

“Come on,” you whispered, letting his hand fall into your lap as you placed your own hands on his face. “Come on, breathe!” 

Your lower jaw began to quiver as tears started to drip down your cheeks. 

“You can’t leave me yet,” you whispered to him, curling your body over his. You tucked one arm under his neck, pulling him into your lap. His eyes still did not move and his ghostly smile never wavered. “Don’t leave us.” 

But his body was still cold and growing colder with every passing second. 

“Help.” Your voice broke, your words drowned out by your owns tears. “Somebody, please, help us.” 

Even if you could get your voice above a whisper, there would be no one for miles. This was the place you had wanted to go, the place where you and Fred could be alone and safe from the wizards in the dark cloaks. You had brought the yourself here because Fred didn’t leave his house alive. 

Leaning down and pressing your forehead to his chest, you let out a sob and then another one, your fingers curling around his Weasley jumper. The golden ‘G’ darkened from your tears until the entire thing was soaked through. 

“I can’t do this alone,” you said, finally lifting your head to look at his face. 

“You’re not alone,” whispered the wind. You gasped and sat up straighter, looking around for the voice. There was no one in sight. “I’m right here.”

“Freddie?” You asked, barely trusting the word that left your lips. The wind was silent. You looked back down at Fred, at Fred’s body, and tightened your jaw. You brushed away what remained of your tears. 

“I’m getting us home,” you promised him, lifting your hand to shut his eyes. “Just you wait, I’m getting us home.” 

~~~

You looked up at the Burrow. Once again, the windows were shattered, the door was broken to splinters, one wall had caved in. You could hear voices from inside, whispering, talking. A laugh rang out. Your heart soared in your chest. 

It had been weeks since you saw them last, weeks that you had been carrying Fred’s body behind you. A kindly wizard you had met along the way froze him for you so he wouldn’t decay, which felt awfully morbid, but you were grateful. Your hair was a tangled mess, your face covered in dirt and sweat and sunburnt nearly beyond recognition. 

But you had finally made it home. 

You weren’t sure you would be able to drag Fred’s body the rest of the way up to the door, but you wouldn’t need to. Before you could take another step, Angelina stepped into view. 

For a moment, she just stared at you and you simply stared back. Her eyes didn’t even move to the rolled up carpet where you had hidden Fred’s body behind you. She just stared. And then, as if a gate had suddenly been opened, she came hurtling toward you at full speed. 

You let out a single laugh just before she collided with you, pulling you in for the tightest hug she could have given. You were crying again once you were in her arms. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered against your hair. “You’re safe.”

Your legs gave out beneath you and she helped you to the ground. Everyone else inside had heard your cry and came filing out one by one until they were all standing around you. You were surprised to see even Charlie was there, the prodigal son returned home. 

“Where’s-”

Ginny didn’t even need to finish your question. From the look on your face, they all knew. 

“He-” You struggled to keep your words from shaking. Angelina squeezed your hand and helped you onto your feet. “I couldn’t leave him there.” 

The words you spoke made Harry take a step backward, the first one to fully put things together. He looked at you and then he looked back at the rug you had been dragging and his face turned white as snow. 

Angelina had to keep you upright, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other holding onto your arm. 

“I tried,” you said, looking straight toward Molly, who still didn’t fully understand. 

“Oh, god,” Ginny breathed and then let out a shuddered gasp as she finally puzzled things out. Harry took her hand and pulled her into a hug and, as soon as he did, she dissolved into tears. One by one, they each began to realize what had happened. You watched in horror as that family slowly began to fall apart. Molly shrieked, falling to her knees and Arthur following after her. Hermione immediately put her arms around Ron to stop him from walking toward the rug that held his brother. Bill stared in wide-eyed horror at his wife, who had turned her body so the baby in her arms wouldn’t be able to see the rug at your feet. Percy was still as stone. 

And George, George stared at you and you stared back unable to see anything but your husband’s face. 

“George, I’m-” 

Before you could even try to apologize, he strode toward you and snatched you out of Angelina’s arms and into his, pulling you in for an even tighter hug. And like that, the two of you finally fell apart. 

~~~

You couldn’t stand at his funeral. Your body was still so exhausted from the journey home and from trying to keep the baby inside you alive that your legs would simply no longer hold you upright. 

You were glad they had you in a wheelchair. That way, they couldn’t see your knees shake. 

Your eyes never dried the entire time. You thought you might have cried every last tear you had in your body the day you returned home, but you apparently had more inside of you. 

Aside from your family (and Lee Jordan, who stood beside Angelina), there were so many people you did not recognize. An older woman with glasses and an emerald green dress. A rather large man with bushy hair and a long beard. A blond boy who stood off to the side, away from everyone else. Two boys, one shorter and one taller, holding hands as they both stifled tears. 

You wondered how many lives Fred had touched, how many people he had made laugh, that you would never get the privilege of meeting. 

Back at the Burrow later that day, you sat next to Molly and Arthur, each of you staring blankly at the floor. You twisted your rings around your fingers, but not out of worry. You slowly pulled them off before turning to Molly. 

She looked at you, a stream of tears running from her eyes. With trembling hands, you handed the rings out to her. 

“These belong to your family,” you said, chin shaking as you tried to fight back tears. Molly shook her head, eyes closing, but she was unable to say anything. 

“Just because you are no longer married to our son, does not make you any less our daughter,” Arthur told you with the only hint of a smile that he could manage. You gasped in shuddered breaths and Molly reached out to pull you into a tight hug. 

“I’m pregnant,” you sobbed as you clung to her jumper. She ran her fingernails over your back and you were pretty sure you could feel her smile. 

“I know. Fred told me.” 

You managed a laugh as you pulled away.

“If it’s a boy, we want to name him Gideon,” you said, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. Molly sucked in a shuddering breath. “Gideon Lee. And if it’s a girl, we want to name her Persephone, but, Percy, for short.” 

Somewhere across the living room, Percy Weasley lifted his head. Aubrey was no where to be seen. 

“You saved his life at the battle you fought,” you reminded him. Percy’s eyes swam with water. “He never forgot it. This is how we say thank you.” 

Percy nodded his head slowly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he dropped his head back into his hands. 

~~~

You had a boy and a girl. 

You weren’t prepared for twins, but it didn’t matter. 

With so many of his kids moving out to start their own families, Molly prepared a room for you to stay with her and Arthur. Molly dotted on Gideon and Persephone, never wanting to put them down no matter how loudly they cried. 

“My twins were the same,” she said, smiling at the memory. Her face never turned sad. 

Some days you were perfectly fine. You could look at Persephone’s full head of bright orange hair and Gideon’s hazel eyes and see Fred and smile. And some days, you couldn’t even bare the thought of getting out of bed. But Molly and Arthur never left your side. Angelina and George were over all the time, to take care of you and the help with the kids. You couldn’t look at George for the first few weeks without breaking down completely. He understood. 

Bill and Fleur brought Victoire to play with Gideon and Persephone and Bill even let you hold her sometimes. She really was going to grow up to be a daddy’s girl. The others never failed to visit either. Even Charlie would stop by occasionally as the two grew. 

Your parents and even your wayward sister enjoyed spending time with them. You had never expected it, but the birth of your children had drawn you closer to your sister. After years of estrangement, the two of you were able to sit side by side and laugh together, as if not a day had gone by since you were ten and had no worries in the world. 

You missed Fred’s warmth every single day of your life, but you found his joy in Persephone’s laughter and Gideon’s proficiency for setting things on fire. You remembered what the wind had told you that day, that you were not alone. You were never going to be alone again, and you were grateful for it. 

You had spent many Christmases with the Weasleys and now you shared many Christmases as one of them. 

~~~

In this life, you had lost Fred after the war. In your life before, you had lost him during it. It was almost as if the universe and all it’s splinters had decided that you and Fred were not to be. You lost every game you played together, but you were willing to lose them all, so long as you got to bask for a few minutes in his light. 

~~~

tagging - @inaworldofwonder (aka the only person who liked the post I made about this story three days ago) @x-lulu (i’m not sure if you’re into harry potter, if not, im sorry) @bricksatanakinswindow (because you like harry potter and I like harry potter and you like angst and I like angst so here we are) 

none of you need to feel obligated to read this but it’s been in my head since 8th grade and i just needed to get it out. thank you. love you all.

[barisifictionarchive]

Author: sarahcakes613

Preferred Name: sarah

Have any events in your personal life ever influenced the things that you've written? 

Oh 100% - I often write little moments and experiences from my life into my characters lives. It's usually the silly stuff, I try not to let my traumas influence my writing because that's depressing af and I don't like writing angst!

That being said, my only chapfic to date is a Game of Thrones story about sobriety and recovery, and the idea came to me while I was sitting in a church basement watching someone I love receive a multiyear sobriety medallion. That story pulled a lot of it's core dialogue and traits from this person in my life and was largely inspired by the pride and love I feel for addicts in recovery.

Do you have a favorite movie? 

I love visually strong storytelling, so the Lord of the Rings trilogy is up there. I also love Mel Brooks comedies, especially Blazing Saddles and Robin Hood Men in Tights.

Who is your favorite author? 

Leonard Cohen only wrote two novels in his life but they're both perfect examples of their genres. In recent years, I've become a huge fan of Cat Sebastian, her queer regency romances are absolutely charming feel-good bites of chocolate.

How did you start getting involved in fanfiction?

I've been reading it since high school, but never felt like I had a fandom story of my own to tell. In 2015, I was heavily involved in the Game of Thrones fandom on Tumblr, particularly for the ship Sansan (Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark) and began participating in the occasional drabble/prompt challenge just for fun. In 2016, a bunch of us decided to collaborate on a supremely cracky circus AU. I'd already written a handful of things but that was when my interest in writing fic took off. And the ladies I met writing that are still some of my absolute best friends!

How did you get involved with Barisi?

It was VERY roundabout. I watched SVU on occasion back when I had cable and I do remember watching both Barba and Sonny, but nothing about them stuck out to me in terms of shipping, probably because SVU was always a pretty casual watch for me so I never looked at it with fandom goggles. I got really into Raul Esparza's voice over this past winter (I have no idea what triggered that interest, probably a random Youtube find) so occasionally in searching I would see SVU gifsets on Tumblr and was like ah yes, I remember them, but again, never really stuck in my mind.

Meanwhile, sometimes when I'm looking for a new read, I'll choose a tag at random and just scroll for something that looks interesting. This past February I somehow wound up in the tag for Konmari/Marie Kondo, and found the fic Tidying Up by Robin Hood (kjack89). I thought it was absolutely the sweetest dang thing and started adding more Barisi fic to my marked-for-later page. Then in March, I actually started going through them and in one month I read about 200 stories.

What inspires you to write? 

The Barisi fandom is easily the most inspiring group of people I've ever talked to, with all the back and forth on Twitter with ideas and music and gifsets and headcanons, it all sparks ideas! Music especially, I'll see a whole story play out in my head over the course of a four minute song. I'm also often inspired by an aesthetic image, I'll see a pretty photo and want to write an entire story based around it.

What is your favorite fic that you have written? 

Oh my god Karen you can't just ask someone what their favourite fic they've written is. There are definitely multiple answers.

The fic I'm proudest of is Gods Grant Me the Serenity, the Game of Thrones chapfic I mentioned - it's "only" 20k but it took me 3 years to write because it was sometimes so painful to explore that relationship.

I also really love a gen/non-ship fic I wrote called The Holy or the Broken, which is a series of vignettes that explores each of the Avengers and their relationship to their own Jewish faith. Because all the Avengers are Jewish. I said so, and therefore it's true. I loved exploring aspects of my faith through fic, and the response was extremely gratifying.

My favourite Barisi fic that I have written is "I'll use you as a focal point (so I don't lose sight of what I want)" because it's the first one I wrote. When I first started exploring Barisi, I found the Archive on Tumblr and had a look at the prompt page. I saw one that really spoke to me but I was reluctant to do anything with it, because I was like, do I really want to start writing for a totally new fandom that I'm only just barely in? But then I went for it, and I haven't looked back!

What is your favorite quote from a fic of yours?

Oh man, you expect me to remember what I wrote?? The cheesy answer is all of it is my favourite, because I'm actually quite proud of my writing.

This may not be my #1 favourite, but it's definitely one that stands out, from my Barisi story Perfect situations must go wrong:

"Don’t you get it, Rafi?” Sonny asks, his voice so low it’s almost a whisper. “A life bond like ours, it’s a living thing. The beginning of our story is just that, a beginning. We chose the steps that came after. How can you say none of that was real?"

What is your personal favorite fanfic? (Can be any fandom)

OOF. In Barisi, well, I did just post two whole full rec bingo cards on Twitter, so I have a LOT of faves, but A Healing Year by anni_scovill is one of my favourite fics of all time, Barisi or otherwise. Throwing it back to other fandoms, the story Kiss the Girl by Jillypups is the definitive Game of Thrones modern AU Sansan. It's also the origin of the tag you've almost definitely seen floating around, "tale as old as time, burn as slow as fuck". I'm not a big fan of kidfic but Jillypups wrote a really engaging and realistic original child character who steals the show in every scene she is in.I have a few other favourites in other fandoms, some a little spicier than others. I can rec fic all day long, to be honest! If anyone ever wants recs outside Barisi in Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Game of Thrones, or Marvel, my DMs are always open!!

Anything else you would like to add? 

I'm extraordinarily honoured to have been asked to do this. I've been a published Barisi author for just under three months and in that time I've already written 50k words over 27 stories. I have 32 stories in the Game of Thrones tag and that is after six YEARS in the fandom. When I say you all are the most inspiring and motivational bunch, oh boy do I mean it!

A question you’d like to ask another author?

When I finally finished Gods Grant Me the Serenity, I swore I'd never write another chapfic, or at least never begin posting one until the entire thing was done. How do you keep yourself motivated to keep updating ongoing fics? How far in advance do you plot/plan? Tell me all your secrets for being a successful chapfic writer!!

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

I was just going through my #odaat meta tag and I re-read this one of yours [post / 172076218500 / i-love-your-meta-on-schneider-and-his-need-to-be] and now I kind of want you to update it for S3--like, how S3 built upon and added to all the things from the previous two seasons. But I know you have a long list of fics to write and gifsets to make, so no rush, no pressure. But if you're inspired, I'd love to read your thoughts!

as s4 starts tonight, now seems like a great time to update that meta series :D

since it’s been two years, here are the adorably retro rambles i wrote back then (i was so newly in love with schneider and his found family! it’s cute to see!):

part one & part two

for those who don’t want to spend all day reading them, the gist is that an ask invited me to discuss schneider, and i did…and then i got another ask disagreeing with a claim they thought i was making about schneider in the first one. but my conclusion overall was:

S1 of One Day At A Time gave us [smudged first name] Schneider, who is always there when anybody needs him, and it told the audience that he considers himself a member of Penelope’s family.

S2 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we were told about in S1, and it SHOWED us where he came from, how it led him to who he is now, and why that makes him a part of the family.

During the quinces dance in 1x13, when Schneider joins them on the floor, the audience laughs.

When Schneider tells a comatose Lydia in 2x13 that her family is also his family…nobody laughs. Because it’s not even a little bit funny. It’s just true.

That’s how you develop a character without changing him. And that is why this show is everything to me.

in this case, you didn’t ask for a new specific angle like i had for the previous metas, so i’m just going to ramble about how schneider, his place in the family and his sobriety are further developed in s3…behind this cut!

honestly s3 is a goldmine for those of us who love schneider. he has more story, he gets to show even more range as a flawed but lovable human, and we get to fill in more details about what continues to be his interesting but not-that-deeply explored life. (i will not rest until we know if schneider’s original mom is alive and neglectful, pushed aside by his dad–or dead and replaced. I WILL NOT REST.)

there’s a lot that happens in s3 that i was even specifically wishing for. besides the fact that i wrote his sobriety chip going in the museum as a fic before it became canon (can’t i just write for the show already? i’d be good at it!), i really wanted to see some proof that his friendship with penelope was not as one-sided as it looks in s1 and 2. 

as i mentioned in last year’s metas:

Schneider is the epitome of someone whose emotionally neglectful childhood turned him into an adult who is desperate to be loved. Who expects people to leave him or not like him very much…who is himself full of love and gives it away to people who deserve it AND people who don’t. He’s unconditionally devoted to his best friend and her entire family, he’ll be their mentor or support or punching bag when they need it without hesitation, which is so pure it hurts my heart.

Ir hurts my heart even more that he doesn’t demand anything back, though. He focuses on them and their needs completely, and while it’s easy to list off moments that demonstrate why Schneider is Penelope’s best friend, times he has helped and supported and openly loved her, the reverse is harder. I think those moments are there, but much like Lydia visiting Schneider in rehab prior to S1…we haven’t gotten to see them.

well, now here we are. i got my wish, and it broke my freaking heart, but in the good way. penelope wasn’t just there for him in the ways you would expect, like trying to be chill and supportive when his father was going to visit–and then working through her own issues to offer him love and reassurance about his value to her as a person after their resulting fight.

she also faced what was probably one of the worst case scenarios she could’ve imagined for schneider, given everything she’d already lived through with the kids and victor. and she never once hesitated. she did everything she could think of to help him, even when that meant planting her feet and refusing to get out of his way to stop things from getting worse. 

penelope looked at her best friend and knew not only what he was going through in those terrible moments but also what he was capable of in his better ones, and decided not to let him go. not then, not ever, as long as he was willing to keep trying. which of course he was because s3 also told us that losing his true family would be the worst thing he could imagine for himself.

speaking of his sobriety, that was the area where his character was developed in huge leaps this season. i wasn’t expecting that to be his s3 arc when i said this, but again, i give past me a lot of credit for being psychically linked:

In the first season, all of Schneider’s sobriety mentions are played for laughs, until Elena’s coming out storyline. We get a lot of mentions, actually–about his addiction to gambling, his stints in rehab, his five year chip–but he talks about it breezily and other characters don’t invite him to elaborate.

As viewers, we know he’s an addict and an alcoholic who’s working a program but since he’s not the focus of the show, we’re not asked to think about it much. However, since Penelope is separating from someone who is also struggling with addiction and we know they celebrated Schneider’s milestone right after moving in (when they barely knew him), we can infer that she takes this very seriously.

one of the interesting things to me about victor’s storyline at the end of s1 is that the show doesn’t try to draw parallels between them at the time. the season is just so not about schneider that it doesn’t come up, not even with victor staying at schneider’s place after penelope kicked him out. 

the two times schneider seriously discusses his history with penelope are instead in relationship to elena’s coming out (one of the central arcs of s1) and in relationship to penelope’s mental health (one of the central arcs of s2). which makes sense. but by the time we’re heading into s3, we’ve also seen schneider talk to lydia about his past, in more heartwrenching detail than ever before, while she’s unconscious. 

so as much as it hurts to watch it happen because of a relapse, it’s also nice to see him get much more serious moments related to his sobriety in s3. from his counseling of penelope about alex smoking pot, to the alvarez museum, to the balcony with dr. b, schneider talks about it a lot without it being a joke at all. this is awesome and fitting--he has earned being taken more seriously as a character and a family member. 

not all the time, it’s still a sitcom obviously, but in s3 he’s treated like an honorary family member with a serious history of addiction, not just a hipster landlord they like having around.

and the relapse storyline teaches us so much about schneider that we didn’t know before: what triggers him, how well he can lie when it matters to him, what a different person he becomes once he’s no longer sober, and most importantly, what he values enough that it can convince him to stop drinking again after he’s started. all of the pain involved in those reveals makes him seem more like a real person.

in terms of schneider’s growth, i was also really hoping that he would get to experience a healthy romantic relationship at some point. to quote me again:

And Schneider trying to do romance…wow is he lowkey out to break your heart. Thanks to what he witnessed growing up, he thinks a good relationship can be two people who don’t even like each other, that love probably isn’t real, and he jumps at the chance to be married, like he just needs a person to belong to–anyone who’ll have him.

s3 did give us some growth for him on that front, though not as much as i would have liked. he met someone he really liked, who seemed to really like him for just who he is, and who seemed to want more than a surface-level relationship of hooking up.

since we don’t know what happened with avery after his father came to town, i’m not comfortable saying that they did have a healthy relationship–we’ve got no proof they didn’t, but also nothing concrete to say that they did. we just know that while they were broken up, they missed each other a lot, and they were really happy to be reunited. 

i won’t feel good for schneider about finally finding his first stable and healthy love in avery until we actually witness them work through an issue rather than just moving past it with no real discussion. ‘i came back and you’re sober again’ is not automatically the same thing as ‘everything is now fine and we’ve learned and grown from what just happened and are a stronger couple because of it.’

also it worries me a lot that schneider thinks of avery as perfect. he has so little experience trying to do the real relationship thing, i need him to learn she has flaws, and that means it’s okay that he does, rather than keeping her on that pedestal and believing he’s unworthy. because that’s already a vibe he’s given off since we met him, and i just want better for him than that.

and when it comes to schneider’s place in the alvarez family?whereas s2 left him as a firmly self-identified alvarez, s3 kicked off by showing us that he had been enveloped into the larger family with the funeral--and then both of his major storylines this season, his father’s influence on him and his relapse, solidified it even further. 

elena puts extra work in on the whole building to help makes schneider’s dad proud of him, and the whole family welcomes the man despite their valid misgivings--with penelope even very impressively not punching him in the throat. it was entirely for schneider’s benefit that they tried so hard, especially pen. he deserved their love and effort where his father really didn’t.

and when his father’s presence threatens to take him away from them in a fundamental way, turning him into someone they don’t recognize, i honestly think it scares penelope. she gets angry, and she lashes out, sure, but underneath that she’s scared too, because she’s supposed to be able to count on schneider. he’s one of them, he’s family--not one of those guys. ‘the man.’ 

so their reconciliation not only mends their bond but strengthens it, because all that penelope wants is for him to stay family. to stay theirs. 

which is a priority she probably would not have expected to have back in s1, but it’s crystal clear that it’s true in s3, especially once she realizes schneider might be drinking again. 

her immediate reaction to the possibility is denial, which i love because it shows how deeply she really does trust him at that point. he’s not just the friend who sends her dogs in wigs and drinks coffee with her mom: he’s a man she expects to be stable and present in her life, even though she knows his history includes decades of addictive behaviors. 

it also shows that she doesn’t want it to be true, possibly even more than she believes it couldn’t be. she knows how addiction works, she has to know that schneider’s not guaranteed to stay sober even after five years without a drink. but she needs him to be.

the way the rest of the family rallys around schneider further makes it clear: he’s part of them, yes, but not because he’s forcing his way in. he’s wanted there. in s3, schneider is an IMPORTANT member of the family, who is loved even when he makes bad choices and breaks their trust and has to earn it back. 

and that’s the biggest evolution for his character, to me. after the way s3 ended, it’s hard to imagine schneider not being a part of their lives--not because he refuses to leave them alone, but because they wouldn’t have it any other way.

now, much as i like to share my grievances about parts of s3, schneider’s characterization isn’t on that list for me at all. it remains remarkably consistent for a character who started out on the periphery. and honestly, before i reread these metas today, i hadn’t thought about that much. 

you can finish watching s3, where schneider is 30 days sober and still trying to pull his life back together after relapsing, and then start watching the pilot episode, and there he is–the same guy we know and love and understand better than we did in the beginning.

so, to end this the same way i looked back at the first two seasons...

S3 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we had gotten to know better in S2 and showed us a completely foreign side of him, using that to make clear just how important he is to the family now.

After Penelope told Schneider he wasn’t really part of the family in 3x10, she went to lengths she never had before--handholding and sincere compliments--to make sure he knew that wasn’t true. And afterwards, when Schneider put them above his own father, because her family is his family and everyone knows it...it was a completely serious moment.

That’s how far Schneider has grown in Penelope’s esteem, and as a character, in just three seasons. Without losing what makes him Schneider. Which is why this show is still everything to me.

[gimmeyoon]

Drink About [1]

       ↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x Jin

       ↳ Setting: College AU

       ↳ Word Count: 4.3k

       ↳ Warnings: mentions of binge drinking, language

       ↳ Songs: Waste It One Me by Steve Aoki ft. BTS and Hands by the Vamps

       ❝you just wanted to get drunk and dance and now he’s all you think about❞

| Next

    There’s nothing quite as humbling as vomiting in a fraternity bathroom with two people getting it on in the stall next to you.

    Sana hits at the stall wall as if that will stop the wild animals from doing exactly what they came here to do. Joy tries to sooth you as she pulls your hair out of your face, but she’s so drunk and it’s clear she wishes she was anywhere else at this point. You have to agree with her on that.

    If your life was a cheesy teen romantic comedy, a record would scratch and an older, wiser version of yourself would say, ‘I’m sure you’re wondering how I wound up in this mess.” Though, you figure no one would stay to watch a movie that starts this utterly disgusting. The prop department could have at least mopped the floor before letting your bare ass sit on tiles hopefully made sticky by spilt alcohol, though the moment of sobriety that comes as one is barfing up their brains tells you that’s only one of the residues at best. You suppose the fashion department wouldn’t have let you walk on set without underwear under your dress the way that Joy and Sana had.

    “Honestly, _____, fuck him,” Sana says, abandoning her attempt to stop the actual fucking happening right next to you. “If he’s already with Chaeyoung, then he’s an even bigger fuckboy than any of us thought, and we do not cry over fuckboys.”

    You wonder if you’re supposed to respond as you dry heave next to your friend, but figure Sana will understand. She does have a point though, your makeup is absolutely ruined at this point, which is more than he deserves.

    It’s a process. Sitting in front of your mirror on a Friday night, you carefully beat your face to the gods in preparation for your favorite part of the week. It’s the same every time, the plans slightly different, but the process the same. Your shift at the gym’s reception desk ends at 5:00 and you head back to your apartment where you become slightly jealous at the sight of Joy napping on the couch and head back to your room. You stare at your closest until you figure out which of your outfits sparks joy, Marie Kondo style, and then you grab your tools. You turn on one of your favorite beauty guru’s videos and then the craft begins.

    Joy never misses a chance to tease you about the pure time commitment this process is, but you haven’t been late to a pregame yet.

    Now in your second year of college, you can say without a doubt that this process is the highlight of your week. Sure, occasionally something happens that outshines it, but it’s a constant. You have three hours secured to yourself where it’s just you and tasks that at the end of the day mean very little, but when finished, you have something to show for yourself. It’s about the only productive thing you allow on Friday night.

    You surprise your friends back home with how often you go out, but you promised yourself after a failing your first class Freshmen year due to the sheer amount of time you spent with your friends that you would focus completely on school work during the week and that on the weekend you would let yourself be free and unstructured. Joy and Sana knew better than anyone how hard it was to get you to deviate from your color-coded planner for even the tiniest thing. They liked to joke that if they didn’t schedule getting fries at McDonald’s with you three weeks in advance, there wouldn’t be an opening. They weren’t that far off.

    The weekend was different. It was the only time you let yourself give into the part of your soul that screamed to live life on the edge.

    That was how you had ended up at Beta Tau Sigma months ago with Joy and Sana by your side. You were standing in the kitchen talking to the one member of the fraternity that Joy knew when you saw him for the first time.  

    Well, for the first time in person. You had followed Jungkook on Instagram after one of your friends had tagged him in their photo. He had followed back, and you could always count on a like from him on your posts.

    You grabbed Joy’s arm when you saw him, drawing everyone’s attention towards yourself and the deer in headlights look you could only imagine was on your face.

    “What,” Hoseok asked as he followed your gaze. “You look like you saw a ghost. Do I need to kick some asshole out?”

    “No, sorry. I-I thought I saw someone, but I was wrong.”

    “You sure? Taehyung’s too nice, he’ll just let anyone in.”

    You smiled as you released your grip on Joy’s arm. “Seriously, it was nothing. I think I just need a drink.”

    Hoseok nodded and motioned upstairs. “We keep the good stuff upstairs, and since Joy is the only reason I’m going to pass the human machine, you guys are welcome to it. Consider it my penance.”

    “Oh, so you know penance, but an introductory biology class is too much?” Joy teased as you followed Hoseok.

    “My dad’s a literature professor so he used big words at dinner and made us figure them out. I learned penance when I hid my sister’s laptop in the attic.” Hoseok leads you into the first room on the right and pulls back a curtain to reveal a fully stocked bar. “Jimin’s really into mixology and also showing off his money. So, help yourself,” he said with a dramatic bow.

    “Hoseok, when I say you’re my hero, I want you to really hear me,” you said. “You are my hero and two shots from now, I will tell you that repeatedly.”

    “She’s a very nice drunk,” Sana confirms as she pulls a bottle of tequila from the bar. She pours four shots from the bottle and after those have been forced down, she pours another four.

     That’s how you find the courage to move onto the dance floor, an act that normally doesn’t require much liquid confidence. It’s also an act that doesn’t usually include being as close to Jungkook as it currently has you.

     “Joy,” you start with a giggle. “How many times do I have to look at Jeon Jungkook for him to get the message that I want to put my ass on his dick and pose on that shit?”

     “Firstly, if you ever quote a New Boyz song in presence again, you will be excommunicated from our apartment. Secondly, I think it’s going to take more than a look to communicate all of that.”

    “Not if I have very expressive eyes,” you say with a wiggle of your eyebrows.

    “If you do that, he’ll file a restraining order with the college,” Joy laughs.

    “Joy,” you whine.

    “_____,” she teases. “Seriously, you are a 21st century woman, just tell that boy that you want to dance.”

    “If he says no, I can never show my face here again, you know that, right?”

    “We’ll throw the whole fraternity away if we have to, babe.”

    You decide that a sensible person would at least wait for the song to change before making their move, so three songs later you turn to acquire your target. He’s standing with one of his friends, Jimin you think, and you hate how good he looks. He’s in all black, like he usually is, but the dance room is so hot that his normally straight hair now frames his face in waves. You push back the thought that this is what his hair would look like after sex and make your way across the floor. He’s just a boy, you remind yourself the closer you get. Then you’re there, and you realize you probably should have practiced what you were going to say to him during the previous three songs. And now as Usher guides your movements, it’s too late.

    He looks over as you approach and he offers you a smile, which you know is meant to be inviting, but he looks so damn good that it makes your arms break out in goosebumps.

    “Hi,” you manage with a smile.

    “Hi.”

    You think you might let the silence fall for a beat too long, because Jungkook’s friend that may or may not be named Jimin has the time to look between the two of you before you continue.

    “I follow you on Instagram,” is out of your mouth before you can stop it, and you can feel your ears visibly redden once you realize how stupid that sounds.

     He laughs and you pray to whatever god might be listening that he wasn’t laughing at you.

     “I follow you too,” he says.

     “Thanks for that,” you cringe. It’s silent again for a beat too long, but then you think some god must have been listening, because his friend becomes your second hero of the night.

     “He’d love to dance with you,” Maybe Jimin says as he pushes Jungkook in your direction, and that’s exactly the intervention you need to reach out for his hand.

      You pull Jungkook through the crowd of people and begin to dance with him as soon as you find a spot that doesn’t make you feel claustrophobic. You think for a second how ironic it is to find an open space when you place your hips flush with his and begin to dance to whatever overplayed song the fraternity brother playing DJ has chosen.

      He’s a better dancer than you would have guessed, his hips moving heavenly with the music, and the way he hardens beneath you helps heighten the confidence the alcohol gave you. His body is strong behind yours, and for a moment you wish you hadn’t had so much to drink because then you might have invited him back to your place to see what his body felt like on top of yours.

    It’s four songs later when the sound of his name breaks your heart.

    “Jeon!” Someone yells, from across the room, causing Jungkook to pull away from you and search for his friend. He must find him when he grabs your hand and pulls you with him. The culprit is smiling as you meet him and motions for you to follow him. “We need two more for beer pong and it’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is.”

    Jungkook looks back at you, “Do you want to play?”

    Considering your options appear to be leaving Jungkook to writhe around in the dance room with some other people that you are absolutely no longer interested in or play a drinking game with Jungkook and potentially speak to him about something other than the fact that you follow him on Instagram, you do not hesitate to say yes.

    You find out two things about Jungkook very quickly. Firstly, he is very good at beer pong and secondly, he is very competitive, which the first thing helps.

    “Taehyung is going to regret asking us to play,” Jungkook smiles as he hands you a ping pong ball.

    “Less trash talking, and more playing, yeah?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.

     “Don’t rush my partner, yeah?” Jungkook copies Taehyung’s stature, and you can’t help but laugh at how theatrical he is.

     “Patience is a virtue, young Taehyung,” you say as you aim for a red solo cup.

     The ball lands in the drink with a satisfying slosh and Jungkook high-fives your success. It’s five more games of this and then your stomach betrays you. No longer are you focused on winning. No, now you are focused on feeding whatever beast entered your system with the alcohol.

     “Jungkook,” you start. “How do you feel about shenanigans?”

     His head tilts to the side as he looks at you. “Shenanigans?”

     “Do you trust me?”

     He smiles and nods his head. “Lead the way, Captain,” he says with a salute.

     Your fingers intertwine with his as you lead him out of the fraternity house and onto the streets.

     “Shenanigans,” you say turning around to look at him, continuing to walk backwards, “are what happens after the party. Anything can be a shenanigan if you really set your mind to it.”

     “And what does tonight have in store for us,” he asks.

     “Well, Jungkook, I hope you’re hungry. Because it’s waffle time.”

     “Lucky for you,” he laughs. “I’m always hungry.”

     You laugh as well as you turn in a circle. When you stop your whirling, you find Jungkook’s arms braced, clearly ready to catch you.

     “You’re going to fall, drunkie.”

     “Please call me by my government name, Drunkard Joseph Montgomery Alabama the third.”

     “Wow, that is a name.”

     “Thank you, it was my father’s and his father’s before him.”

     “Thus, the third.”

     “Thus, the third,” You laugh.

     The fluorescent lights of your local Waffle House should make Jungkook look slightly worse for wear as you know they are doing to you and as they do to most humans, but clearly Jungkook is not like the rest of the mere mortals that roam this Earth, because you swear to god his eyes sparkle as he looks at the plastic menu before him. He keeps switching between the breakfast and the lunch/dinner side of the menu, mumbling under his breath that his not sure which he’s in the mood for at the moment.

    You do not face the same problem, as you order the All-Star breakfast every time. There has never been a moment where you have sat in these yellow booths and not wanted waffles. You figure if the establishment is named after a specific food, you should probably order that food, and you’re just about to tell Jungkook as much when he sets his menu down and looks up at you.

    “I have decided,” he said, his tone serious.

    “Do tell.”

    “Burger,” he smiled.

    “Wrong.”

    His face falls at this. “Wrong?”

    “We’re at Waffle House, the only right answer is waffles.”

    “Wrong,” he responds, copying your tone from before. “They sell more than just waffles; therefore, you are meant to order things other than waffles as well.”

     “Okay, IHOB.”

     “What did you just call me?” he asks, his face breaking into a large smile.

     “IHOB, as in the International House of Burgers,” you stick your tongue out, which earns a laugh from your companion. “When in Rome, order waffles.”

     “I don’t think that’s the saying,”

     “I don’t think this is a burger establishment.”

     The waitress approaches your booth at this moment, and Jungkook quickly places his burger order, sticking his tongue out at you as she writes his burger on the ticket.

     “And since I’m a responsible adult, I’ll be having the All-Star breakfast,” you said when it was your turn to order.

    The waitress nods as she writes down your order, “Bacon, sausage, or ham.”

    “Sausage, please.”

    “Wrong,” Jungkook responds as the waitress walks away. “The only valid choice when bacon is an option is bacon.”

    “Oh, grow up,” you roll your eyes. “Sausage is a valid option.”

    He shakes his head, “Only when bacon isn’t available.”

    “Pretty bold talk from a guy who might be asking me to choose his sausage later.”

     He reddens at this, his eyes widening, but never leaving your face. The words were out of your mouth before you could think better, and you’re pretty sure the only reason you don’t get up and leave is because you’re still pretty drunk.

     Jungkook shakes his head, as a smile spreads across his face. “I don’t think any bacon will be present at that moment, so sausage would be a valid choice.”

     You can’t help but laugh at this, and Jungkook joins you. You talk about school after you calm down, and you’ve started to talk about your hometowns by the time the waitress brings your meals. You both shake your heads at the other’s order, causing the laughter to return, and it takes a few moments before you can actually begin to eat.

     You’re almost finished with your waffle, when you realize everyone else in the restaurant is focused on the staff behind the counter. Jungkook is telling you a story about his older brother, but you can’t focus as you try and figure out what has everyone’s attention. You’re not sure if it’s the fact that you’re drunk, or the fact that talking to Jungkook comes so naturally, but you’ve completely missed the altercation brewing between the staff. Their voices get louder with each word, and before it can get any worse, you take money out of your wallet, quickly making sure that it is enough to cover both meals plus the tip and stand up. You reach for Jungkook’s hand, while he stares up at you dumbfounded, and you make your way for the door. You’re just about to make it out, when one of the employees finally makes contact with the other. You freeze at the action, and stand stunned, not sure if you’re waiting to see if he’s okay or if anyone will do anything to stop it. The next thing you know, the punched employee, is grabbing the other by the shirt and throwing him against the counter.

    Jungkook takes action at this, pulling you out the door with him and through the parking lot. You turn to look at Jungkook with wide eyes, not sure how your shenanigan ended up quite like this.

    “Holy shit,” he breathes, as he rakes a hand through his hair. “I guess that’s Waffle House at 2:00 a.m. for you.”

    You can’t help but laugh at this, though you feel a bit of guilt considering how awful the situation is. Jungkook smiles at this and for that alone you’re glad that you laughed.

    “Come on,” you say, as you look at your surroundings. “There’s a river around here, I want to show you.”

    Jungkook follows, not having dropped your hand yet, and you walk like this in the direction of the park you like to go to sometimes. It’s pitch-black as you near the location, which causes you to grip Jungkook’s hand a bit tighter than before. If he’s as nervous as you, he doesn’t let on, but he does pull his phone from his pocket and turn his flashlight on, which you are thankful for. Your pace quickens after this, the excitement of showing Jungkook the river driving you forward, and when you arrive, you drop his hand before skipping towards the bank.

    You turn around to face him, positively beaming as you stretch your arms as if to say here it is, the grand finale, and Jungkook matches your wide smile. He walks towards you, as you bend down to take your shoes off. When you look back up, he’s looking at you with confusion on his face.

    “Well, I’m not going to wear my shoes into the water,” you answered.

    “We’re going in the water?”

    “Shenanigans, Jungkook. They’re not done yet,” you said, as you turned around and made your way into the river. The silence of the night is inviting, and you find yourself closing your eyes and leaning your head back in relaxation. You hear Jungkook wade in behind you, and you only open your eyes when his movement stops.

    He’s looking at you and he smiles when your eyes meet his. “How did you find this place?”

    “I used to babysit these kids freshmen year, and their mom took them to this park.”

    “I haven’t really left campus that much,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’d be nice to run here though.”

    You nod in agreement, turning to look up at the few stars above. Jungkook reaches for your hand in the dark, and you reach back, feeling comforted by his presence here. You think for a moment that it’s nice that you two can just stand here in the silence like this, and you’re about to say something to that effect, when suddenly Jungkook sends a wave of water hurtling towards you. You’re shocked when you look down to see him crouched, ready to splash you again.

    “Shenanigans,” he says, simply, as he launches another attack on you.

    This time you’re prepared, and you block your face, though it does very little to help. Quickly, you’re crouching as well, not one to go down without a fight, and soon both of you are soaking wet and breathless. Jungkook’s hair hangs heavy around his face, water dripping from his black locks onto his cheeks, and you hate to even think about the state that your makeup is in now.

    The smirk on Jungkook’s face, tells you all you need to know, and you shake your head in response. “I look like a monster, right?”

    “You could convincingly be cast in a horror movie.”

     You give him the middle finger at this, before trudging back to land. You’re about halfway back, when you hear Jungkook running after you, and as you turn around to see what he is doing, he’s wrapping his arms around your middle and picking you up.

     “Jeon Jungkook!” you scream, as you pound at his back. “Put me down.”

     He only laughs in response, carrying you the rest of the way to the shore. He finally complies with your demand, placing you underneath a tree. He sits down, and when you don’t immediately follow, he pats the space beside him, looking up at you with big eyes.

    You chuckle as you join him at the base of the tree, and he smiles triumphantly.

    “Maybe it’s too soon to call, but I think I might be better at shenanigans than you.”

    You scoff. “You made me look like the grudge. That is foul play and not allowed during a night of shenanigans.”

    “Oh, excuse me. I was under the impression that there was only one rule and that was to have fun.”

    “I am not having fun.”

    “You’re not?” he frowns. “I don’t know, seemed like you were having fun.”

    “Nope, not anymore. I spent too much time and money on this makeup to consider this fun.”

    “What a shame,” he smiles. “I kind of like this look.”

    “Really?” you deadpan.

    “Yeah, it says ‘just know that if you ever break up with me, I will murder your ass.’”

    “Oh, good. That’s the energy I want to be putting out into the world.”

    Jungkook laughs. “You’re very welcome for helping you achieve your truest form.”

    You’re silent for a beat after this, both of you smiling widely at each other, and you think that you are in no rush to get home. You think that he may lean in and kiss you, because he keeps looking down at your lips, and he moves slightly forward, but his eyes completely leave yours, and he’s reaching for something on the ground instead.

    You’re about to stand up and leave, your new found sobriety horrified that you might have just embarrassed yourself, but then Jungkook is looking at you again and smiling.

   “A geode,” he said, bring a rock between the two of you. “My dad and I used to collect this when I was little.”

   You nod your head, not sure what to say because your brain just keeps screaming about how much of an idiot you are but also how cute he is, and it’s too much for you to come up with a reasonable response.

    “For you,” he smiles widely, as he reaches for your hand and places the rock into it. “Never forget our shenanigans.”

     “Never,” you agree, bringing the hand holding the rock to your heart.

      He beams at this and then stands up. “We should probably try and get home before the sun rises.”

     You nod your head, though you don’t agree. You would stay out here until the sun set again if you got to keep talking to Jungkook.  You begin the walk back to campus, showing Jungkook a shortcut you had found a few months ago, and when Jungkook should veer off to head back to his fraternity house, he keeps going straight with you. You try to fight the blush that creeps up your neck as you realize this.

    He’s talking animatedly about something Taehyung did a few weekends ago when you finally make it to your apartment. He seems to hesitate for a moment, but then he’s smiling and staying firmly on his side of the hallway.

   “Thanks for walking me back,” you said finally.

   “Of course,” he nods. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

    You nod your head as well, a bit disappointed that yet again he isn’t attempting to kiss you, and you think for a moment that maybe this meant way more to you than it did to him.

   “Tight,” he said. “Then I better get going. Goodnight, _____.”

   “Goodnight, Jungkook.” You watched as he walked down the hallway towards the exit, and once he was out of sight you unlock the front door and make you way inside.

     You sigh as you kick off your shoes and make your way further into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re taking your first sip when there’s a knock at the door. You check quickly to see who it is, and your heart races as familiar doe eyes stare back at you. Goosebumps cover your arms as you open the door.

   “Sorry, I just-” he nervously rubs at the back of his neck. “I forgot something,” he said, as he closed the distance between the two of you and pulled you into a kiss. Your damp clothes rub awkwardly against your body, and Jungkook’s burger breath catches you more off guard than the kiss itself, yet still you melt in his arms, and you think this is the kind of thing people write songs about.

    And when he’s pulling away, you think you want to capture the way he looks at you in a photo and look at it all day long.

    “Goodnight again, _____.”

© gimmeyoon — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or translation onto other sites even with proper credit given is not permitted.

[m00nslippers]

It’s All About the All-Caste in RH:O Issue #34!

This issue was kind of filler and recap to be honest, but I’m always down for finding out more ways that Jason is awesome and we did get a little bit of that here, so let’s jump in to the review!

Right off the bat (hur hur) we flashback to Jason’s time with the All-Caste. He quotes Neitzsche, “Whoever battles monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster himself. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” This is juxtaposed by Jason literally fighting a bigass monster as a teen in the All-Caste.

Now this is actually a pretty awesome thing because 1) It’s Jason being a literature nerd, which is what sustains my life. 2) It’s actually pretty damn relevant to what is happening in the plot right now, with Jason fighting monsters (Gotham’s rogues) and Jason dipping into that pool of being a monster himself. There is just so much foreshadowing that Jason is setting himself up for a fall, I’m just not sure how it’s going to shake out yet. Honestly unless he does something a lot worse than what he’s been doing, I don’t personally actually fault Jason or think he’s a monster? Like let’s be real here, the guy gets results.

There is some really awesome stuff here. Internally Jason says “When you’ve died once already--stared at the actual gates of hell--and clawed your way back through six feet of dirt? When you stare at a monster? Nine times out of ten...they’ll blink first.” Damn.

And then the monster, who calls himself “The Devourer of Young Souls”, asks Jason why the heck Ducra chose to send some kid after him, to which Jason says, “She didn’t choose me, she didn’t send me, but she knew better than to try to stop me!” Damn.

Apparently Jason is literally a child of prophesy among the All-Caste. I don’t remember if that was something we knew already or something we learn here, but I think it’s interesting that he basically completed the prophecy and moved on. Because Jason did what he was there for, he slew the monster, fought the Untitled, and now everyone expects him to just stop fighting--and he’s just like, “Uh yeah, no.” Jason’s life is an endless war. It always has been, he doesn’t know how to live another life.

One thing I’ll give Lobdell. I think he’s pretty good at dialogue. He has his moments. He’s not as bad as people make him out to be, but I feel like this guy really needs a writing partner. His dialogue is generally good, his ideas are usually pretty interesting, but his plots just need work and his characterization is inconsistent sometimes. It’s the story execution that needs help, also I think he avoids or brushes over emotional stuff a little too much sometimes and that’s a real detriment to his arcs.

After this Jason summons a crap ton of All-Blades and goes MCU Hela on the monster’s ass and I need current Jason to do this, why doesn’t current Jason fight more actual magical monsters, clearly that’s what he’s good at? I need more of this, it’s too cool. It’s super unique among the bat-family, he’s the only one of them with an inherent answer to magic, why is this so underutilized? *Sigh*

The story picks back up in the present with Jason at a restaurant in France, on a date with Isabel. I’m a little annoyed that these two are back together but I think their interaction here actually kind of puts a perspective on it that I approve of. Jason has an extra champagne glass there and is thinking about his adventures in France with Roy when they fought evil mimes back in Red Hood/Arsenal (Yeah, unpack that one). The champagne glass is also a reference to events in RHATO New 52, when Roy orders a glass of alcohol and uses it to test his resolve for sobriety, which happened on the very same plane ride where Jason meets Isabel. Jason is clearly still mourning Roy, not to mention Artemis and Bizarro. I think this kind of shows that while he probably does still like Isabel as a person, he’s not necessarily in this relationship because he loves her and wants to get back together--he’s vulnerable and needs somebody, anybody to lean on and she’s made herself available.

People give Isabel a lot of flak and I don’t really get it? She’s never been mean or lied. She’s never judged Jason for any of the things he does, and she supports him emotionally, she just doesn’t want to be involved in vigilante craziness which is a perfectly sane thing to want. I think she’s really underdeveloped as a character--What’s her past? What does she like? Who is her family? She’s kind of generic--but as a person there isn’t anything to complain about. I still prefer Artemis, but I think Isabel gets too much hate.

Back at the Iceburg Lounge, Miguel is in charge of fixing the place up after the attack by the assassins in the previous issue. Miguel talks a little about this other reality he says he sees or senses, which is maybe a hint to some future event that is hopefully gonna fix every character inconsistency we all hate but probably not (hey I can dream). We get a tease about Miguel possibly figuring out Jason is keeping Cobblepot prisoner, which I think we all know is coming, but it doesn’t actually happen in this scene.

We see Jason walking Isabel to her hotel and it’s pretty cute to see Jason holding a girl’s hand, okay? I do like it. I almost feel like her quip about proving she doens’t love him for his money is Lobdell jabbing at everyone who is saying she’s a gold-digger. He’s just like, “Dude, she’s not, lay off” I never thought she was but the idea definitely floated around, which I think was a bit uncharitable to her character, as I’ve said. She also says the “L-word” that Jason is so allergic to but she manages to keep him from freaking out about it. I think she does actually love him or she wouldn’t be here and I also think the fact that she comes out and says it is A SERIOUS DEATH FLAG. Ya’ll heard it here first, I think Isabel is going to die at the end of this arc.

Also, Jason speaks exactly one word of French but in my mind this is proof that my language-boy speaks French.

Jason leaves her at her hotel to do some Red Hood stuff and calls Suzie Su on the way to check in. She’s fishing for what Jason is doing, she’s suspicious, but he doesn’t give her anything. Jason, you aren’t doing a great job of convincing anyone you aren’t up to no good. Unrelated to the plot, but let me just say, I like the outfit the artist gave Suzie. Artists always seem to give her really hangy dresses and depict her as gross, but she looks cute here! Those leggings are cool!

Then the scene goes to Essence doing some pretty awesome All-Caste magic to contact the guy Jason dusted, and he goes on to say some BS about Jason’s eyes being empty and how he’s not the same person who was their champion as a teen. I think narratively this is supposed to mean something, but it seemed like few of the All-Caste actually approved of Jason to begin with, and this guy didn’t give the impression he was one of them, so why we are trusting his opinion is a question to. The dude is biased, he never approved of Jason.

Essense talks to S’aru, the dude who took Jason’s most cherished memory all the way back in RHATO New 52, and Essence seems to suspect this has something to do with the ‘emptiness’ in his eyes and his actions in the presence. His most cherished memory was a time when he was sick and had to stay home from patrol and Bruce stayed with him. I mean, sure, you can argue this maybe changed how Jason sees Bruce now and is less willing to believe the guy loves him but Bruce’s actions in the presence don’t exactly even jive with that memory so...eh. I don’t know, maybe there is just some magic awfulness that happens when you lose that memory, no matter what it is.

At the end of the scene Ducra floats in to probably tell Essence she can go attack Jason or whatever but we don’t know what she decided for sure because it ends on a cliff-hanger.

Back in France, Jason barges into a perfume shop that is fronting a Kill-Bill style meeting of some criminals calling themselves "The Euro Bloc” who have ties to Cobblepot. They finance the guy in exchange for him laundering their money through his Casino, and I would just like to point out that this is Jason doing exactly what he said he was planning to do--dismantle all of Penguin’s criminal activities. I don’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing, why is Jason ‘empty’ or a ‘bad guy’? He points out later that he didn’t even kill anyone while in Europe, so what is everyone’s beef? I don’t get it.

So Jason basically says, stop your activities in Gotham, also, leave me alone. They do the typical, “OR, why don’t we just kill you now?” but it turns out that Wingman is waiting in a kickass plane ready to murder everyone if they make a move and so they reluctantly back off. The plane seems to belong to Wingman, who we find out is named ‘James’. I still have absolutely no idea who Wingman is supposed to be or what his relationship with Jason is, though. I really hope we get some more of this information soon.

One thing of note though, is that Wingman is THE ONLY ally of Jason’s right now that knows that he is operating as Red Hood still. Suzie doesn’t, Isabel doesn’t, Miguel doesn’t. Wingman holds some kind of significance, and seems to need/want Jason to be operating as Red hood in Gotham for some reason, which was why he was following Jason, to convince him to return to Gotham, but we just don’t know why yet.

And then in the end, Miguel finally finds out Penguin is behind the glass and the title seems to imply Miguel is going to turn on Jason. penguin must convince him he’s the one wronged (I mean he IS the one wronged but he’s not actually a good guy so we know this is bad even if Miguel doesn’t) because i can’t see Penguin overpowering Miguel who has all this Psionic power.

So this issue was interesting. I loved seeing all the All-Caste stuff though on the whole, it’s mostly set up. Next issue, stuff is going down! I can’t wait!

[juliettespencerus]

Quit Drinking Tips To Get Sober

Quit Drinking tips

From April 10th to May 10th I stopped consuming entirely. I composed the bulk of this article the day I could start drinking, but in the interest of experimentation I decided to wait to publish it.

You know, simply in case something went awfully wrong and I ruined my life by returning to beer. Turns out, I'm still here.

The day I might begin consuming again was a fascinating one. Because I take pleasure in a great, cold craft beer a lot I would've thought that I 'd be giddy with enjoyment, like a young child waking up on Christmas day.

Unfortunately, I felt more indifferent about it than I believed I would.

Let's start at the beginning.

Why I Decided to Quit Drinking

The most significant reason I decided to do my 30-day difficulty was a basic one:

I would like to know if I might do it.

As someone who routinely has a beer at lunch, likes to celebrate a workday with a couple of beverages at the bar and celebrations on the weekends I wished to know just how strong of a hold alcohol had on my life.

It turns out, my "alcoholism" has nothing on my determination.

I would not categorize the difficulty as "easy," however it was far from tough. There was never a time I was so desperate to finish the challenge that I got rid of alcohol from the home or didn't satisfy individuals at pleased hour due to the fact that it was at a bar.

To show, this was the cooler being in my shed the entire duration of this difficulty.

The "Water" sign wasn't some strange mental wizardry. It originally had water in it, I assure. I likewise comprehend that Coors Light is primarily water. It wasn't mine. I likewise promise.

Interest was the greatest reason for trying the obstacle. I wanted to see what, if anything, would occur if I entirely gave up alcohol for a month.

One month later, I have actually had my most financially effective and productive month of my profession.

I can't state the two things are 100% positively associated, but it does have an interesting twist to it.

One tends to substitute dependencies rather of eliminating them. In my case, workaholism took over. Because I wasn't having a beer and interacting socially to soothe me down and zone me out, there was no factor NOT to work from 5-- 10 PM.

An extra 3-- 5 hours of work every day wasn't bad per say, however it wasn't favorable either. As All-Father Óðinn (yes, I'm Icelandic. Yes, I'm pricing quote Norse Gods) says, and I'm paraphrasing,

" Whatever is great in moderation."

Small amounts and balance are the keys to being a successful, well-rounded person. Separated workaholism isn't the service for filling the time you utilized to utilize for pleased hour.

I was simply being productive for performance's sake rather of utilizing that time for individual development in other ways. My financial success that month had more to do with a product production that occurred prior to my difficulty began than my sobriety.

Here are some more ideas I had throughout and after my experiment.

You Have Method More Energy

Unsurprisingly, hangovers zap your energy like Anna "Rogue" Marie zaps your mutant powers. You're grumpy and ineffective for many of the day after if you consume too much (particularly after you turn 30). The early morning benefits of sobriety are great. Your sleep quality is much better, you awaken clear-headed, and your workday is more interesting.

Of course, I work for myself and get to choose what I do every day, so I'm pretty lucky because regard. If you dislike your job, maybe it's much better to just do it in a zombie state. However, if delighted hour is the only thing you anticipate during your workday maybe the issue isn't your drinking, however rather your career choice?

Without a hangover, my morning routine is way more pleasurable. You can check out everything about it here, however needless to say, it's easier to get an excellent head-start on the morning when you wish to get out of bed.

Quit Drinking Tips Calmness

When I was entirely sober, I felt calmer and in touch with my feelings. Also, due to the fact that I was never ever hungover, it was simpler to stick to my meditation regimen.

Meditation teaches you to respond instead of respond to external issues. As I was totally sober and meditating more than normal, I was calmer and more familiar with every circumstance that needed my reaction. Instead of knee-jerk responses of inconvenience, I would be more systematic in my responses.

Bars are Boring - Quit Drinking Tips 

If you don't consume, you do not desire to hang out at bars, however you still do not want to alter your whole regular and push away all your buddies.

This was a tough one since bars lose their appeal when you don't desire 99% of what they have on the menu. Once the crowd begins getting drunk and loud, they likewise get old quick.

Your good friends are the factor you're at the bar in the very first location, not the alcohol. That stated, you still feel uncomfortable because of the unwritten social agreement of having a drink in front of you.

Service?

Order a non-alcoholic mixed drink. Some bartenders in Tucson took their non-alcoholic cocktail making abilities seriously, and I thank them for it.

Cameron over at Congress even informed me,

" Just tell everyone it's a Tom Collins if you're asked."

If you say you're not drinking but they will not question you if you inform them a name of an alcoholic drink, people tend to act weird.

The main point here is that you should not stop your routine simply due to the fact that you do not consume. You will feel uncomfortable and weird about not having a drink in your hands. It's a mental thing so ensure you have something to do with your hands.

During this difficulty, I realized that I likewise just consume too quick in basic, no matter the beverage's alcohol content. Because I wanted to get drunk much faster however turns out I drink a glass of soda water simply as quick, I thought I drank rapidly.

I associate this to my hyper, Type-A disorder of wishing to fill every time out in the discussion with a sip of what I'm drinking, rather of some hidden, alcoholic speed demon.

You're Really Alert

Individuals stop paying attention to their surroundings as they get drunker. They block off the world other than for what's going on around their 3-feet radius.

So unless you gaze intently at somebody and get their attention, it's simple to turn your uninteresting night out into an anthropological observation.

People Seem Into the "Concept," not the "Execution.".

They appeared interested and helpful when I mentioned my difficulty to people. They said things like "it's great to do that" or "I must try that sometime" but what I heard was,.

" That's cool and all, but there's no method I'm doing that.".

There was always that underlying tone in their voice that suggested that yes, possibly in an ideal world that would be fascinating, but there's no method they're making that a priority. I do not blame them. After doing the difficulty, I discovered that I'm not interested in being 100% sober all the time either.

Quit Drinking Tips - No one Notifications You're Not Drinking.

Individuals are self-absorbed many of the time, particularly when they have actually been consuming. I do not indicate that in a mean method. It's simply an extremely truthful observation. Everyone's keeping an eye out for themselves and they should. It's a natural extension of their survival instinct.

Because of this, people don't discover you're not consuming unless you inform them.

My pals are utilized to me consuming all the time. They do not even have a factor to question what I have in my cup, so they get extremely amazed when I inform them I haven't been consuming at all. Not then, nor at the party yesterday where we hung out together too.

You save A Lot loan.

I probably go out about 4-- 5 times per week.

That consists of happy hour, weekend outings and brunch. If you also count buying alcohol from the supermarket, it starts to build up.

Let's presume I go to dinner two times per week and I have two beverages at dinner. I would go to pleased hour about 3 times on average, usually drinking about 3 beers over the course of the night.

For brunch, we're respectable at discovering excellent bottomless mimosas or inexpensive beverages. Nevertheless, that's still about $10-- 15 each Sunday.

Then, if I purchase one good 12 pack of beer at the supermarket, I 'd be investing around $20 on that.

That's a quite great portion of money and well previous 10% of the average family earnings. Recognizing you're spending that much on alcohol hurts in more methods than one.

Quit Drinking Tips - You're Much healthier.

Similar to it's simpler to be productive when you're not hungover, it's easier to encourage yourself to work out. Although I do not require much persuasion to exercise in basic, whether I'm consuming or not, I went to the fitness center more frequently.

Instead of 2-- 3 times per week I would now be going 3-- 5 times instead. Thirty days might not suffice time to assess any quantifiable body results, however I feel fitter and healthier. And without the extra carb load from 3-- 6 beers every day I don't feel as fat. I can't say that I have actually lost any weight, but I do feel more powerful. I can probably thank my strength training for transforming my fat to muscle in that case.

In addition to working out more, I also prepare better dinners. Rather of having a number of drinks at delighted hour and after that being too lazy to prepare I spend more time in the kitchen and consume healthier food.

Ideas and outcomes.

In general, it was a fascinating difficulty. Now I know I can easily do it and can stop stressing over whether I'm slowly catching some satanic force illness I don't have.

The hardest parts of the obstacle were the happy hour times between 5 and 7 pm. There's just something so rewarding about a job-well-done drink that it was difficult to consider that up.

Strangely enough, the desire for a beverage dissipated relatively rapidly after dinnertime because at that point I had no desire to consume because of the possibility of being hungover in the morning. That's why the 5-- 7 pm amount of time is such a sweet area. You can relax and delight in a cold beverage with no big professional consequences.

The most significant modification was my increased workaholism. I understood that I work too much. The challenge made me more productive, but it didn't always make my life any much better.

I did have one of my finest months as an entrepreneur, was it ALL the consequence of not consuming? No, however being clear headed every morning and working most weekends assisted.

Overall, I found out a lot about self-discipline, productivity and substituting habits. Since I like my pleased hour too much, I do not believe I'm cut out for sobriety. It made me understand that waking up early and being efficient makes me delighted.

In my case, stabilizing the two, in moderation, appears like a good barometer for success.

Or as Óðinn would say,.

" Consume your mead, however in moderation,.

Talk sense or be silent:.

No guy is called discourteous who goes.

To bed at an early hour".

I help creatives build their online presence and teach them how to promote themselves online so they can reach more fans and increase their income doing what they like. Come say hi if that sounds like something you're interested in.

[charleswatson013-blog]

Quit Drinking Tips To Get Sober

Quit Drinking tips

From April 10th to May 10th I stopped consuming completely. I composed the bulk of this post the day I might start drinking, but in the interest of experimentation I decided to wait to publish it.

You know, simply in case something went extremely incorrect and I ruined my life by returning to beer. Ends up, I'm still here.

The day I might begin consuming once again was an interesting one. Since I enjoy a good, cold craft beer so much I would've believed that I 'd be giddy with enjoyment, like a young child getting up on Christmas day.

Sadly, I felt more indifferent about it than I thought I would.

However let's begin at the start.

Why I Chose to Quit Drinking

The greatest reason I decided to do my 30-day difficulty was a basic one:

If I might do it, I wanted to know.

As somebody who frequently has a beer at lunch, likes to celebrate a workday with a couple of drinks at the bar and celebrations on the weekends I wished to know just how strong of a hold alcohol had on my life.

It ends up, my "alcoholism" has absolutely nothing on my self-discipline.

I wouldn't classify the challenge as "simple," however it was far from hard. There was never a time I was so desperate to finish the obstacle that I eradicated alcohol from your house or didn't satisfy individuals at happy hour because it was at a bar.

To show, this was the cooler being in my shed the whole duration of this challenge.

The "Water" sign wasn't some odd psychological wizardry. It originally had water in it, I promise. I also comprehend that Coors Light is mainly water. It wasn't mine. I also promise.

Interest was the most significant reason for attempting the obstacle. I wished to see what, if anything, would take place if I totally offered up alcohol for a month.

30 days later on, I've had my most economically effective and productive month of my career.

Nevertheless, I can't say the two things are 100% positively associated, however it does have a fascinating twist to it.

One tends to substitute addictions rather of eliminating them. In my case, workaholism took over. Since I wasn't having a beer and interacting socially to soothe me down and zone me out, there was no factor NOT to work from 5-- 10 PM.

An additional 3-- 5 hours of work every day wasn't bad per say, but it wasn't positive either. As All-Father Óðinn (yes, I'm Icelandic. Yes, I'm pricing quote Norse Gods) states, and I'm paraphrasing,

" Everything is terrific in moderation."

Small amounts and balance are the keys to being a successful, well-rounded person. Separated workaholism isn't the option for filling the time you used to utilize for pleased hour.

I was just being efficient for performance's sake instead of utilizing that time for individual advancement in other ways. My monetary success that month had more to do with a product creation that occurred prior to my difficulty started than my sobriety.

Here are some more ideas I had during and after my experiment.

You Have Method More Energy

If you drink too much (particularly after you turn 30), you're grumpy and unproductive for most of the day after. The early morning advantages of sobriety are terrific.

Of course, I work for myself and get to choose what I do every day, so I'm quite lucky because regard. If you hate your job, maybe it's better to just do it in a zombie state. However, if pleased hour is the only thing you look forward to throughout your workday possibly the problem isn't your drinking, however rather your career choice?

Without a hangover, my morning routine is way more pleasurable. You can read all about it here, however needless to say, it's simpler to get an excellent head-start on the early morning when you want to rise.

Quit Drinking Tips Calmness

I felt calmer and in touch with my feelings when I was totally sober. Since I was never hungover, it was easier to stick to my meditation regimen.

Meditation teaches you to react instead of react to external problems. As I was totally sober and meditating more than usual, I was calmer and more knowledgeable about every circumstance that required my reaction. Rather of knee-jerk responses of annoyance, I would be more systematic in my answers.

Bars are Uninteresting - Quit Drinking Tips 

If you don't drink, you do not wish to hang out at bars, however you still don't desire to change your whole routine and push away all your good friends.

This was a tough one due to the fact that bars lose their appeal when you do not want 99% of what they have on the menu. Once the crowd starts getting drunk and loud, they also get old quick.

Nevertheless, your pals are the reason you're at the bar in the first location, not the alcohol. That stated, you still feel awkward since of the unwritten social contract of having a beverage in front of you.

Option?

Order a non-alcoholic cocktail. Some bartenders in Tucson took their non-alcoholic mixed drink making skills seriously, and I thank them for it.

Cameron over at Congress even informed me,

" Just tell everybody it's a Tom Collins if you're asked."

Individuals tend to act unusual if you state you're not drinking however they will not question you if you tell them a name of an alcoholic drink.

The bottom line here is that you should not stop your routine even if you do not drink. You will feel self-conscious and strange about not having a drink in your hands. It's a mental thing so make certain you have something to do with your hands.

Throughout this obstacle, I realized that I likewise simply consume too quickly in basic, no matter the beverage's alcohol content. Because I wanted to get intoxicated faster but turns out I drink a glass of soda water just as fast, I believed I consumed quickly.

I associate this to my hyperactive, Type-A disorder of wishing to fill every time out in the conversation with a sip of what I'm drinking, instead of some hidden, alcoholic speed demon.

You're Very Alert

Individuals stop paying attention to their surroundings as they get drunker. They obstruct off the world other than for what's going on around their 3-feet radius.

So unless you gaze intently at somebody and get their attention, it's easy to turn your uninteresting night out into an anthropological observation.

People Seem Into the "Idea," not the "Execution.".

When I mentioned my challenge to individuals, they seemed helpful and interested. They said things like "it's good to do that" or "I need to attempt that at some point" but what I heard was,.

" That's cool and all, but there's no chance I'm doing that.".

There was constantly that underlying tone in their voice that suggested that yes, possibly in an ideal world that would be fascinating, but there's no method they're making that a top priority. I don't blame them. After doing the obstacle, I discovered that I'm not interested in being 100% sober all the time either.

Quit Drinking Tips - Nobody Notices You're Not Consuming.

Individuals are narcissistic many of the time, particularly when they have actually been consuming. I do not mean that in a mean way.

Because of this, people do not see you're not drinking unless you inform them.

My good friends are used to me drinking all the time. They do not even have a factor to question what I have in my cup, so they get really amazed when I tell them I have not been drinking at all. Not then, nor at the party yesterday where we hung out together too.

You save A Lot cash.

I probably head out about 4-- 5 times each week.

That consists of delighted hour, weekend trips and brunch. If you likewise count buying alcohol from the supermarket, it begins to build up.

Let's assume I go to dinner two times per week and I have two beverages at dinner. I would go to happy hour about three times on average, usually drinking about three beers over the course of the night.

For breakfast, we're respectable at discovering great low-cost drinks or endless mimosas. That's still about $10-- 15 each Sunday.

If I buy one great 12 pack of beer at the grocery store, I 'd be investing around $20 on that.

That's a quite excellent piece of loan and well previous 10% of the average home earnings. Realizing you're investing that much on alcohol injures in more methods than one.

Quit Drinking Tips - You're Much healthier.

Similar to it's easier to be efficient when you're not hungover, it's easier to encourage yourself to exercise. Although I do not require much persuasion to exercise in basic, whether I'm drinking or not, I went to the fitness center regularly.

Instead of 2-- 3 times each week I would now be going 3-- 5 times instead. Thirty days might not be adequate time to determine any measurable body outcomes, but I feel fitter and healthier. And without the extra carbohydrate load from 3-- 6 beers every day I do not feel as fat. I can't state that I have actually lost any weight, however I do feel stronger. I can probably thank my strength training for transforming my fat to muscle in that case.

In addition to working out more, I also prepare better suppers. Rather of having a couple of beverages at pleased hour and then being too lazy to cook I invest more time in the kitchen area and eat healthier food.

Results and Thoughts.

In general, it was an interesting obstacle. Now I know I can easily do it and can stop fretting about whether I'm slowly catching some demon disease I do not have.

The hardest parts of the obstacle were the happy hour times in between 5 and 7 pm. There's just something so fulfilling about a job-well-done beverage that it was hard to offer that up.

Weirdly enough, the desire for a drink dissipated fairly rapidly after dinnertime because at that point I had no desire to consume because of the possibility of being hungover in the early morning. That's why the 5-- 7 pm time frame is such a sweet spot. You can relax and enjoy a cold drink with no substantial expert consequences.

The biggest change was my increased workaholism. I realized that I work excessive. The challenge made me more efficient, however it didn't necessarily make my life any much better.

I did have one of my finest months as a business owner, was it ALL the repercussion of not drinking? No, but being clear headed every morning and working most weekends helped.

Overall, I discovered a lot about self-control, performance and replacing practices. Because I like my happy hour too much, I do not believe I'm cut out for sobriety. It made me understand that waking up early and being productive makes me delighted.

In my case, balancing the two, in small amounts, looks like a great barometer for success.

Or as Óðinn would say,.

" Consume your mead, but in moderation,.

Talk sense or be quiet:.

No guy is called discourteous who goes.

To bed at an early hour".

I help creatives build their online presence and teach them how to promote themselves online so they can reach more fans and increase their earnings doing what they love. If that sounds like something you're interested in, come say hi.

[togetherv-blog]

Places to celebrate Birthday in Delhi

If you desire to have a gala time with your friends while celebrating  birthday party, these options may be worthy of your choices too. Have a  look on the Top 10 places to celebrate birthdays in Delhi and NCR with  couple or with friends. Here are your options. —

1. The Jungle Jamboree, CP, New Delhi

It is situated amidst the prime location of Connaught Place, New   Delhi is like a roaming in a jungle setting hideout. It looks like a   wild world there. The place reflects sobriety in their food and an   impeccable on-spot service, this Jungle retreat setting is here to   delight every visitor. The initial thing that's mesmerizing and eye   catching after entering is the ambience of this place. The moment we   entered, it gave a very forest-y feel. After that comes the aqua section  that is equally amazing. So 5/5 for the ambience, theme and decor of   this place. Now talking about the food.The meal offer here will look   like a real Heaven on earth. In the beginning it's Tiramisu Pastry, and each and everything there can be termed as just wonderful. The food in Jungle theme is offering a special buffet which begins at Rs. 525.   The second floor is an illusionary Forest Garden. It is accompanied by a  dedicated Kids Area. Here offerings are as varied as choices from   Indian & Chinese cuisine.

Cuisines

North Indian, Continental, Chinese, Italian, Thai, Mughlai

AVERAGE COST

₹1,200 for two people (approx.)

₹115 for a pint of beer (approx.)

2. Spezia Bistro, GTB Nagar, DU, Delhi

If you are looking forward for a birthday or any other party, you are  entitled to get a half Kilogram of Chocolate Truffle Cake complimentary  in Spezio Bistro. An unusually nice cafe which is known for its mouth  watering delicacies. You can get here Continental, Chinese as well as  Italian cuisine. A nice place with matching interiors, one is easily  attracted towards it. Food quality is high class and service is  unbelievable. The best part is the delicious food at a reasonable  price.Mouth Smacking Lasagna Chicken, Thai Style Veg Sizzler, Nachos,  Lemon Grass Chicken Skewers, ,Dimsums, exotic Sodas and some varieties  of shakes are the best you can get here. Everything tastes yummy here. This  place reflects an earthy and warm feeling. The ambience and the music  is lively which can lift up your mood, along with the food. If you order  rocky road shake which is very creatively served, kiwi mojito, classic  mojito and lemon ice tea all of them will you found decent in taste.  Their mushroom cheese and corn kernels are also good and their chicken  bolognese pasta and pasta in Peri peri sauce are great in taste.

Their staff is courteous but the service appears to be a little slow.

Cuisines

Cafe, Continental, Chinese, Italian

AVERAGE COST

₹900 for two people (approx.)

3. Light, Camera, Action– Air Bar, Rajouri Garden, Delhi

It's a typical Lounge and a Terrace Bar, which is securely located in  Rajouri Garden area of New Delhi. Impressed by Indian films theme, this  looks to be is a pretty nice place, especially the newly revamped terrace area. The Bar is known for its weird seating options. The bar is  at front here. It becomes housefull and then the terrace of the Bar entertain the guests. That is a well done and decorated terrace with   comfortable space and as well as seating along with a comparatively   little private terrace, which is located just above the main one.It is a  fully celluloid place. Hindi film inspired walls, posters of   blockbuster films of Mumbai, even menu of the bar reflects Mumbai’s film  industry tadka. You can get hold of the terrace area for a good four   hours. The food served is delicious. Nachos are yummy. They play   Bollywood songs throughout which created a good atmosphere with the open  terrace, the weather and the drinks.

If you throw your birthday party, this place will not let you down to  choose this as a party venue. Place is perfect for all bollywood   lovers. Food is good and the quantity is handsome also but the thing we would like to mention is that everything here is value for money. Every  dish is worth the price, you spend.

Cuisines

North Indian, Continental

AVERAGE COST

₹1,300 for two people (approx.) with alcohol

₹160 for a pint of beer (approx.)

4. TGI Friday’s, GIP, Noida

TGIF is certainly a very nice eating joint to visit with friends and this location is in the most lucrative mall of the city , GIP, which   makes it quite busy. The quality of Food provided there is good but   ambience makes it even better.Merely going there and searching wasn't   the fun part …. the fun part began when we stepped inside this soothing and comforting venue and after settling down while we grabbed most   comfortable couches … it then began to be fun and frolic.

The place to be defined anything like the classic American rock genre  was much more than that, very calm and demure in its attire … beautiful  wall textures with many pictures paintings and written quotes and not  to forget the live bar and the accommodation they had … all I can say is  it's a MUST GO.

5.Ardor 2.1, CP, Delhi

It’s a exotic cafe situated at Connaught Place which is laid over two  floors, out of the two floors one floor is dedicated to an elegant   dining. Dining area is marked as a no smoking zone, while the second   floor is converted into a beautiful lounge for parties. The ambience of the place is really beautiful. The food tastes great and the drinks are  also really good. The staff had their hands full but still they are   really swift and polite Ardor special jack Daniel chicken, the brownie   shake, dal makhani and the matka kulfi are a must try.

Cuisines

North Indian, Chinese, Continental, Italian

AVERAGE COST

₹2,000 for two people (approx.) with alcohol

₹125 for a pint of beer (approx.)

Source URL:  https://justpaste.it/1e0kv

To know more visit our website TogetherV to select best restaurants to celebrate birthday

[maggiemcguffog1-blog]

How You Can Obtain Compensated Your JavaScript PopUp.

Therefore November is just about over, and also I have actually essentially been actually not successful in my NaNoWriMo try. For a birth month and also time from the Second from June to calculate your individual colours for 25th December 2007 arise as observes and also lower any kind of 2 number final varieties to a solitary amount by adding all of them with each other. I have actually belonged to InfoBarrel for less than a month as well as this short article listed below will definitely be my 62nd write-up for Infobarrel. I have not been actually acive the recently but I do plan to create consistently there certainly the means I did at B. as well as it would great to observe other InfoBarrelers certainly Dolaczdonas-2016.Info there also. Expect Sleeping Elegance, Third Man on the Mountain, Charlie Brown, much more Trademark Hall from Fame, Walt Disney's Fantastic World of Colour, and also 1 or 2 surprises here and there in the process through Tulgey Timber. My collection recorded a pleasing 2.67% advance on the month - and, like the marketplace - closed Friday at document highs. En route, he gave up some powerful tips for business owners that only Mr. Remarkable can give. This's simply spun over in to the next month if you get less in comparison to that for any sort of month. Cotton blend is the absolute most pleasant cloth as it is airy and wonderful in the hot summer season. For 2007 as well as 2008, the Scottish Federal government supplied backing for an article at LGBT Youth Scotland to deliver LGBT History Month right into the larger area, including institutions and young people teams.

Always remember to smile when you speak over the telephone and also they'll assume you are actually a positive and good individual. These 2 factors integrated are a great totally free abdominoplasty lipo substitute that will spare you amount of money while smoothing your stomach really quick. I quietly sat on one of the dining table and began recapturing all those fantastic minutes I had along with my daughter. One of the romantic quotes ... joys enjoy, thanks for dropping by ... farewell! I also turned off the HPads on HubPages and also observed a quite good boost, ending up at concerning $200. Congratulations on surviving a very instructional month and also a fifty percent only to begin preparing for the upcoming year! I have actually been to Alaska and also can verify that the snow there is actually completely lovely. I would like to suggest that, along with what you share at the Holidays, you set up an opportunity monthly to give presents for charitable organization. The design will definitely last all month long and also if you use that in Any One Of our Difficulties or WWs during that month, you are going to get an additional odds to succeed an outlet present memory card! Just recently, GRN used a 8 night 7 day getaway at a wonderful retreat in Maui, Hawaii for $398! It also helps you suppress your hunger properly, ensure metabolic rate, management calories, protect against coming from absorption of fatty tissue to aid you get slim body just in a month. I made about $57 this month, $7 in addition to Bubblews and also I possess had several folks using my recommendation hyperlinks, so I could mention this was a wonderful month. It was actually additionally the 3rd consecutive month that the document was damaged by the most extensive frame ever. The birthstone for this month is the amethyst, and also the mythology affixed to this gem connects this along with sobriety, peace, protection and also tranquillity. The personnel was actually definitely the best sweetest, wonderful individuals, which definitely watched out for me. I have tried strongly believe me.I have actually tried every little thing!!! Nagin Pond obtained its own name from the trees that neighbors that. The pond is actually a lovely strong blue colored lake.

[go-cleverbouquetlight-stuff-blog]

A God From Passion Would not Send out Good Individuals To Heck.

Our team will all of simply cringe over our white colored cooking areas and also presume, exactly what were we presuming"? Carry out the same thing friend of a friends as well as booze provided for me. I don't possess any kind of hesitation that I will be actually carrying out so via whatever digital sorting system was actually available to me if I was dating today. I have a solitary friend that does not and I need to admit that it frustrates me. However, it is actually not my complication. Yet treatment and also other therapies can be quite effective at aiding folks create adapting skill-sets as well as methods to sustain sobriety. Our company kept in the space for a long time talking in whispers, offering squeezes, passing around cells. To me, having a best buddy as well as hanging out with him is well worth any kind of viewed, passing aggravation. After taking a $5 communication training course on ice lotion production, they opened their store in a worn out gasoline stations. Sadly, some verdicts (or even concepts) can not be verified by means of any known testing, like the grow older from the earth. Creating buddies in the adult years has ended up being much more hard than my adolescent personal would have envisioned. The support Trump dropped on Carson is actually that Carson is a wonderful guy." Journalism selected this up and can't stop repetitiving it. Rep is partiality. So our company struck. up a chat, and also I will currently consider him and also his spouse to be buddies from ours. Your server techniques as well as asks if you want to get cocktails ... Yet you are actually hearing a tale concerning how your good friend merely obtained an advertising and also everyone else is actually mocking a video clip your pal located of a piglet dancing. Available in the Wine red presented here, a lighter brown chestnut", or dark (where they intelligently exchanged out the gold-tone buckle for silver). Graphic in an invader concerned earth and also performed not recognize exactly how human beings grow in time. Sometimes, there are disputes that you must acknowledge on in order to spare your own self, your good friend and the relationship you have actually built with each other. Yet many people will favor to slam why somebody requires a pricey watch. Once you fulfill the moms and dads, look them in the eye, smile, and also provide an organization handshake to both parents. Having the ability to look individuals in the eye and store their stare can easily assist you better connect with others, land a work, toss a tip, flirt speech, charm the women, as well as daunt your enemies. Our company intend to create innovation that gives people as much selection as possible, and also our gadget will definitely be actually really flexible because way," he stated. I appreciate fashion trend and just what this carries out for ones peace of mind, as well as mentions one thing about their character, however I do not delight in when individuals have factors into standpoint which may induce all of them to turn nose up at others. No. Once in a while, contact with close friends simply to state hi. The net provides to that. Look At This could create the day to a sad close friend. Just what items does your pal with the headpiece damage to keep her hair thus voluminous- that looks great!! Actually, thanksgiving is just one of the best essential features of satisfied individuals. Those political elections could possess been actually made a decision through vote-rigging - state some people - although we can't recognize without a doubt. Put it on an orange strap, wore it with some additional downplayed colours (grey blue and dark) and it popped nicely without being excessive. These 2 acids are your best buddies in the fight for excellent skin, so constantly try to find them on elements panels. Our ideas of inappropriate vs. best are actually locked up in one thing that should be actually or even ought certainly not to be. For that idea to earn any feeling, you really require an ought"! Grab a few handouts while in the workplace and teach your own self on how the health condition affects people. This's possibly because away from Walmart, an aircraft is actually where people have the tendency to clothe their complete worst. You could possibly satisfy an individual or even lady and also they might be as literally beautiful to you as your optimal imagination HUNK/ HUNKESS, but if they start opening their mouth as well as it is actually all permit's discuss ME ~ ME ~ ME ~ after that they could also be actually as ugly Shrek, given that very soon you're about to be burnt out and totally shut off. However the truth stays that the more folks know about you, the a lot less they have the ability to observe you in a qualified lighting. They knew that that was a deal-breaker, but they did what people at the moment are actually doing, which is actually, they claimed, Yet! It's additionally time to establish brand new pals; grow brand new connections with folks who are mature like you. Thy kingdom happened, thy will certainly be actually done on earth as that remains in paradise." Therefore as the dust settles on this certain election cycle, permit's continuously wish that. Heartbreaking events like these constantly induce worthwhile individuals to begin pointing to psychological wellness charitable organizations for responses. Our experts can easily possess dozens Facebook friends and yet unknown the labels from individuals that physically live ideal close to us. That must alter. Every single time period strongly believes that the technique they look at the world as well as presume is essentially the technique folks have actually consistently accomplished this. However as you familiarize on your own with intellectual background, you will certainly view significant modifications in the theories and also guidelines that assisted cultures in each age.

They take place to find some individuals in institution, at work, at various tasks, they interact as a result of the circumstance and at some point, they get made use of to each various other and end up being close friends. However, individuals that are without positive self-image commonly wreck their job effectiveness along with subconscious habits and also actions that create all of them less likely in order to get observed or advancement in their job. Scroll via the quotes for the kind of understanding got off terrific personal struggle, as well as recognize that you're not the exception. Traveling to one of these talking interactions is a great method to find that person. They which made England, Italy, or even Greece age-old in the imagination accomplished this by adhering swiftly where they were actually, like a center of the earth. I merely stated that science is something individuals care about. That is actually the meaning from faith, to care about one thing. Bunches of folks take times to gigs, yet depending on the action, many pick good friends or even colleagues. In this particular role, he is actually the one that doesn't let you fail to remember the rate of interests as well as pals you possessed before you got married. Providing your buddy the area to definitely talk while you listen to them is very vital when healing a companionship. Delivered within 5 days with an ONE HUNDRED night risk free of charge trial, Leesa cushions are actually made to satisfy the necessities from every sizes and shape body, if you don't like that, simply organize to have it reduced.. Mike went to the other secondary school, earned good qualities without much initiative, match without being actually cliquish, and also had good friends and also-- unbelievable for me-- girlfriends. While blogging about my latest journey snow skiing in France and tweeting about our even more latest jaunt to Brighton, everybody that answered stated places they are actually interested to go or programs they will create. There may be methods you could protect and shelter your close friend by establishing your own self up as the marked aspect person - the one who delivers relevant information to the outside world, or even manages benefactors. Because of the good folks at Zalando for gifting me these, also a lot better that I in fact reached decide on. Just present them to whom they're sitting through or even those folks which enter right into a conversation with the two from you if you bring your attendee to a large party.

[seekerandthewizard88-blog]

Living Your Best Life Now

By Ash    *This post contains a small bit of adult language because sometimes I get real fired up and passionate while writting.

Something I see often online in quotes or articles are the regrets of people who are at the end of their lives. They talk about all of the things they wish they had done differently or the things they wish they had spent more time doing in their lives.

For years, I had a lot of anxiety around dying and not being able to do all of the things that I wanted to do with my life. It took me a long time to realize that was because I wasn’t living my best life from moment to moment. I wasn’t taking the time to make sure I felt satisfied with all of my choices and to really stay present. I am talking about the kind of anxiety around dying that involves medication daily and the creation of constant, negative narratives. Until I was able to undo this process, I had zero idea of the amount of my life energy it was consuming just to fall into this space of despair every day. Aside from prescription medication, I was also self-medicating every single day just to numb all of my feelings rather than to feel them and sort through them.

Some of you know my story with drinking and self-medicating, others of you do not. I think it’s good for me to share it with you guys so that you know what space I come from and the stark contrast it holds to the space I now occupy. These feel like two different lives to me that converge only occasionally anymore through people and memories shared.

I started drinking when I was 15. I remember very clearly the first time I really drank. I remember feeling fearless for the first time in years. Backing up a bit, my anxiety started when I was 12. I had my first panic attack at a slumber party and my mom had to come and get me. My close friend’s younger brother had passed away about a week earlier from a brain aneurysm and it rocked my 12-year-old system. This was my first experience with death in young people. This was the first time I was able to understand that people can and do die at any time, I couldn’t handle this. Of course, it wasn’t until years later that I understood that this was the catalyst for the onset of my anxiety, at the time, I didn’t even know what it was only that I felt like I was dying. This night would mark the beginning of a 17-year journey with debilitating anxiety for me. My Mother (who is the most wonderful person I know) was a fierce woman who always did her best to convince me that I was fine and nothing was wrong with me. I know for her, this came from a place of fear and no tools to handle that fear at that time. I didn’t really have a support system around my anxiety because no one really understood it, myself included. On top of the anxiety, I am also an empath. From as young as my Mother and I can remember, I have felt everything around me. Everything that everyone else is feeling I also feel, that can be crippling when you don’t know what it is and have zero skill set to manage the experiences. So I found alcohol. It made me fearless. It numbed out everyone else and allowed me to go out into the world and exist in a happy way without the overwhelming feeling of everything hanging over me all of the time. It was the thing that could quiet my internal narratives and as time went by, it became the thing I did every day. Alcohol became my support system, my best friend, my relationship, and my favorite extracurricular activity. In 2007 I got a DUI and was told I needed to quit drinking for 12 weeks to go through a program for said DUI. I chose not to do this because the drinking was more important to me, it was my lifeblood and I had no idea what my life would look like without it. So, I avoided this thing for three years. In 2010 it was time. My father was also drinking very heavily at the time and I remember my mother calling me on several occasions to express concern about this, I was drunk while talking to her and I hated myself for it. I hated everything about myself which of course only made the drinking worse. I had always been thin and drinking had taken that from me in the last few years of doing it. I had stomach problems and other body problems from all of the alcohol. I was sedentary and couldn’t even manage to take care of myself financially. My parents would take care of my bills and I would sit around on my couch and drink to avoid thinking about the failure I had become.

I had one particularly rough night and I walked into the bathroom and could not look myself in the mirror. Everyone has a bottom point if allowed to hit it, this was mine. I was crying hysterically and I knew it was time. I slumped down on my bathroom floor, head in my hands, and I knew there had to be something else. I decided my best course of action was to go and take care of my DUI because at least I would be forced not to drink for 12 weeks and that would be a place to start. This was November 6, 2010, and on the 7th I made the first step into an entirely different life.

It’s so funny how the brain works, even though I knew this was all a huge problem, I couldn’t admit that to the woman who did my intake into the diversion program. Ego is a hell of a drug. By the time we were done, both her and I were convinced that I didn’t have a drinking problem and that I would just casually do my time and be done with it. I had every intention of going back to drinking despite the way I felt the night previous. A week into this program, that changed for me. I don’t know the exact thing that made it click, but it did and it did hard. I had to go to two groups a week and also to several meetings a week. I think part of it was hearing other people’s stories and part of it was some blessing of being able to step outside of myself for the first time in my life. I spent about a year solid in AA and it fulfilled its purpose for me at the time, it kept me distracted from my desire to drink for the most part. I should also probably mention that when I stopped drinking I was also coming off of the 1mg daily dose of Xanax that a doctor had carelessly prescribed me that I had been taking for six years to also quiet my mind. If any of you know anything about coming off of Benzos, you will know that it’s very dangerous and also really really uncomfortable. I felt like my head was a glass jar and my brain was a rubber bouncy ball that someone had put inside and would just shake up every hour for good measure. It was a fairly excruciating journey for about six weeks. I am grateful to say that I had a great support system and also that this is the space I really found writing again in. I still have my first journal from that time in my sobriety. I don’t re read it but if I flip through it, it’s a mess of ugly, confused feelings. I went through a lot of weird spaces in this period, one of which involved me not having a sense of humor for about two weeks. I also spent about three weeks where I could not properly construct sentences.I had to shut myself in the house and occupy myself with anything I could. I colored those black fuzzy posters, painted models, played video games and cried a lot, but I moved forward day by day. At about five months in, someone said something very impacting to me, she said, “If you are going to let not drinking make you as miserable as drinking made you, you may as well at least be getting drunk” and I thought to myself, “There still has to be something else. Where is my happiness?” So naturally, I got online and started looking around for things to improve my happiness. I stumbled across a book called ‘Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting’ and it changed my entire perspective on life. To this day, it’s the first self-help book I suggest to anyone who is looking to make a change in the way they view their life. I knew nothing about myself so I had to start from the beginning. I had to find things I loved to do, new hobbies, new friends, anything that felt joyful and fulfilling to me. Then I had to work at fostering this joy and this new perspective every day. We’re all always a work in progress but we have to actually start that journey at some point.

This brings me back around to the importance of living your best life right now. I think the problem with doing this thing is that most of us want to be, we just don’t know how. So where do you start? ASK QUESTIONS! Find someone in your life who appears to be living their best life and ask them for suggestions on books or tools. Read anything you can get your hands on about the topics you want to change. Watch videos, learn to quiet your mind and listen to yourself. You have to learn to cut the bullshit you’re telling yourself and find some honesty. Find ways to quiet your ego and listen to your higher self. Now, I say all of this but these changes take a lot of time and work, let me be the first or maybe 15th person to tell you how fucking worth it this is. If I had any idea that the space I now live in existed, I would have cut the shit a long time before I actually did. We have to know there is a better way to live our lives. I am here to tell you that there is. You can be out in the world everyday entrenched in happiness. You can wake up in gratitude every single morning and feel so wildly in love with your life that it will bring tears of joy to your eyes. I get so overwhelmed with joy some days that it’s hard to breathe, in the best way. This is not to say that I don’t still struggle with the occasional bout of anxiety but I have the tools to deal with it now in the best possible way if and when it does crop up.

Let’s talk about some of the things involved in living your best life now. Some of the biggest regrets people have at the end of their lives are the risks and chances they didn’t take and the connections they didn’t foster. I promise you that you don’t want to wake up one day full of regret about these things when it’s so possible to avoid that entirely and live your best life. It’s important to live in the moment. We’re human so we always live in spaces of past contemplation or “future tripping”. We’re so worried about “what-if” that we don’t look at right now. One thing I try and do all of the time is to find joy in all of the moments in my life. If I am outside walking my dogs, I look around for things to give appreciation for. I breathe in the air and vocally share my gratitude for my life and the ability to even walk my dogs and breathe in the air around me, some people don’t have even that simple pleasure. Perspective is the greatest gift and one I will talk about a lot along the way. If you can’t find something to be grateful for in the moment, try instead, thinking about the things that you have the other people may not have and I assure you, you will find yourself in a space of gratitude very quickly. Try a ten minute guided meditation every day until you can meditate on your own. Insight Timer is a really rad app that I recently started using for this, check it out on the recommendations page. Read books on the things that you want your life to reflect. If you want to be more mindful, find a book on mindfulness. There are thousands of options available to anyone who wants them. Find the thing you are passionate about and do that thing. I know it’s scary, but you know what is more scary, never doing it and never knowing what it feels like. I can tell you that since I have started doing the things I am deeply passionate about rather than creating reasons why I can’t do them, my heart is so full I feel like I am going to burst daily. I feel so fulfilled in every aspect of my life and more in line with my truth than I ever have before.

Failure is not a real thing. What failure really is for us is other people’s opinions of what we are doing with our time and their followed judgment on said things. Other people are not living your life, they are living their own. They are having a completely separate experience from you and thusly, are not qualified to judge how a thing feels or works for you in particular, only for themselves. Therefore, it doesn’t matter at all what other people think, it matters only that you’re fueling the things that set your soul on fire. I don’t care what that thing is (unless you want to share it with me in which case I would absolutely love to hear about it) just find it, and do it. I want to tell you to do it fearlessly but that isn’t a real thing. It takes a long time to do anything fearlessly as fear is the strongest human emotion. However, don’t let fear make your choices. Elizabeth Gilbert has a rad quote about fear in her book ‘Big Magic’. She says, “We can’t get rid of fear, it is part of the family so you have to take it with you. However, you don’t have to let it sit in the front seat, you sure don’t have to let it drive the car, and you don’t let it touch the radio or the map”. What this means is that you have to acknowledge that it exists but you don’t have to let it control your choices in living your best life. When fear comes up for me around something, I try and sit quietly with it for a bit, and then I thank it for being there. I thank it for existing and for its attempt to protect me. I then let it know that while I appreciate it, I also don’t need it in this moment and I breathe it out of me. Then I do the thing. I am here to tell you that there has not been a single thing in my life that I have done that I was afraid of doing that did not turn out rewarding in some way. Most of these things have had a huge impact on my life as you will continue to see through my writing. Go do the thing, live your best life, I believe in you.

I am going to leave you with my favorite quote in hopes that it inspires you to go out and begin to live your best life now, in this moment.

 “We are the sole and exclusive creator of our own experience” - Excuse me, your life is waiting

Love and light,

Ash