#not super happy with how loft turned out..... does not quite feel like loft

[hyolks]

UHM. SOME @bonus-links LINKS

[keanureevesisbae]

But professor… - c.7

Summary: Penny discovers something

Professor!Walter Marshall x Penny Townsend (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of sex

Masterlist // But professor… masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

It’s February now and I officially quit school. Never in a million years did I think that I would be good enough for it anyway and when I went back after Christmas break, I realized I wasn’t in the right place at all. Ever since I dropped out, I have been looking into cosmetology school and how to tell my parents about this sudden change.

Walter is getting ready to teach for today and is going to drop me off at the mall, because I need to buy a few things. Since I have yet to move out of the dorm, I need at least some boxes and just some other items.

‘Princess, you look absolutely gorgeous,’ Walter says, patting my butt through my jeans.

I squeal, before turning around, slapping him across his chest. ‘Don’t do that,’ I laugh.

‘Why not?’ He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up. ‘You’ve got a cute butt.’

After I triple checked if I have everything, the two of us leave his loft and walk downstairs towards the garage, his hand securely wrapped around mine. Like usual, he opens the door for me and kisses me the second he got in his truck as well. It’s becoming a thing now and it’s weird if he doesn’t do it.

Walter holds my hand as he drives towards the mall. ‘Princess, how about you and I get you moved in the middle of the night? So I can help you carry some boxes.’

‘I can ask someone to help me,’ I say. ‘Maybe just call someone from one of those services. Please, I don’t want to risk running into someone I might possibly know.’ When I notice he isn’t liking it, I say: ‘Please, Walter, don’t sweat it. I can move out myself.’

‘I know, I know,’ he grumbles. ‘It’s just that I want to help you out.’ He presses a kiss on my hand and leans back in his seat. ‘You look beautiful.’

‘Do you need to tell me that every opportunity you get?’

‘Yes,’ he simply says. ‘Come on, princess, scoot a little closer.’

It’s been a few weeks since he got the truck fixed, so I could sit closer to him. I unbuckle myself, before sliding over to his side. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I close my eyes after I strapped myself into the seatbelt. ‘You’re so needy,’ I chuckle.

‘I’m not needy, I just love you. Need you as close as possible, darling.’

His arm feels heavy on my shoulders and when we’re close to the mall, I say: ‘Do you need anything?’

‘Maybe some snacks, but I’ll leave that up to you.’ He gives me a long kiss, before I get out of the truck.

‘I love you,’ I say.

‘I love you too, princess. Text me when you’re back at the loft, okay?’

‘Will do.’

✎ ✎ ✎

Shopping was nice, until I had to throw up. That never happened to me before. I think in my entire life I have vomited only once, until today. I stare at the stomach contents that are floating in the toilet. I can’t think of eating anything that has made this nauseous I need to puke.

Why would anyone vomit? The only reasons I can imagine is food poisoning, a stomach bug or being pregna—

Oh.

Could it be?

I flush the toilet and with the moving boxes that I have yet to fold into boxes, I walk through the shopping mall to the drugstore. I ask the woman behind the registry if I can have a pregnancy test and she simply nods. I don’t know what I was expecting (maybe the woman first completing a three hour interview before handing me a test, I don’t know), but after I paid for it and hid it in my purse, I walk out of the mall.

What if I’m pregnant? I mean, yes, I did skip a period, but that is not new to me. I mean, I’ve been pretty regular all my life, minus a few times. Normally me skipping a period didn’t make me suspect anything, since I wasn’t having sex, nor was I the next virgin Mary, but now…

Walter and I have been having sex quite a lot. I mean, it’s always with a condom of course, but even those are not one hundred percent effective.

I might be naive from time to time, but I’m not that stupid to unrealistic about the effectiveness of condoms.

The bus ride back to the loft couldn’t be any longer and when I finally arrive at Walter’s place (soon to be ours), I quickly text him I’m home, before hiding into the bathroom. Buying one was weird, peeing on a stick is weirder.

As I wait for the two minutes to pass by, I think about what to do. Would I have a baby at this age? I mean, I’ve always wanted kids and maybe now is a good time? Okay, no, it’s not absolutely ideal (the timing couldn’t have been more off), but… I’m not in school right now and—

Oh no, that’s just me being selfish and only thinking about my situation. I haven’t even thought about Walter yet. We never spoke about having kids, because I don’t think you are supposed to do that this early on in your relationship.

Right?

Oh my goodness, this is too much for me to think about. Let’s just wait until I see what the test says. I mean, there is a possibility I’m not pregnant and just a little bit late with my period and caught a stomach bug. Why think about all sorts of scenarios when there is a chance that it’s not applicable to me.

I grab the test and discover it has two strips. After a quick examination of the box I discover that…

I’m pregnant.

✎ ✎ ✎

Six hours. Six hours have passed by since I took the first test. In that time, I went back to the drugstore, to buy another one and peed on that one as well. They say there is no such thing as a false positive, but I’d rather be too sure.

And that one was also positive.

So naturally I spend my time wisely until Walter came home. I’ve been pacing through the loft, looked online how to tell your partner that you are pregnant and I ate some watermelon.

Walter walks in with a deep frown between his brows, but that disappears when he sees me. ‘Princess,’ he says, ‘you have no idea how much I missed you.’ He sits next to me on the couch and gives me a kiss. The frown appears again when he takes in my expressions. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I’ve got something to tell you.’

He nods. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes, it’s just that… I don’t know. It’s kinda huge.’

He places his arm on the backrest, while his other hand takes mine. ‘Tell me, princess.’

Don’t beat around the bush, just tell him. ‘I’m pregnant, Walter.’

If it were possible, I’d suspect someone pressed on pause, because Walter completely froze. He tries to find some words for it, however nothing seems to leave his lips. I mean, what am I expecting from him? I’m trying to figure out whether or not I should be happy or scared.

‘Oh,’ he finally says. ‘And you’re planning to keep the baby or not?’

I nod. ‘I do and I understand that it’s too soon for us and that you won’t want to stay. I really understand that, Walter. I’m so sorry.’

Walter scoffs and actually looks super offended. ‘I do not understand why you think I wouldn’t stay, because I’m going to be right by your side, every step of the way.’ He squeezes in my hand and says: ‘You will never get rid of me that easily, princess.’

I let out a nervous chuckle, realizing how stupid it was of me to actually think he wouldn’t stay. I mean, we’re talking about Walter here. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say, ‘for just assuming. It’s just that my brain is working overtime. I might be a little scared.’

He nods. ‘I understand. It’s quite a lot, but let’s think about one thing first, okay?’ His lips curl up into a smile and says: ‘We’re going to be parents.’

When someone else says it, it’s even more meaningful. My eyes fill with tears as realization hit that I am indeed gonna be a mom and that Walter is staying, thus becoming a dad.

Walter pulls me closer and gives me a kiss on my forehead. ‘Princess, it’s okay.’

‘I know, but it’s so scary. So much is gonna change.’

He nods. ‘Nothing we can’t handle though.’ He pulls me on his lap and gives me another peck, this time on my lips. ‘Now we really need to get you out of that dorm. This weekend I’ll make sure someone is gonna help you with moving and you’re gonna stay right here with me.’

I smile. ‘I can’t wait.’

‘And,’ he says, ‘do you really want to go to cosmetology school now? We can always arrange something when the baby is here.’

‘I kinda want to focus on the pregnancy first, since I have no idea what to expect.’

‘Alright,’ he says, ‘then we’ll wait with that.’ He places his hand on my flat stomach and says: ‘Oh shit, Penny, I’m gonna be a dad.’

I can’t help but squeal when I think about it a while longer. ‘And I’m gonna be a mom.’

✎ ✎ ✎

It’s only obvious that we have to tell my parents. After I had my first scan, I realize that I really shouldn’t push the matter and just tell them, especially because the baby is healthy and I’m out of my first trimester at fifteen weeks of pregnancy. Besides, I also officially live with Walter and those nerves are slowly becoming less and less prevalent.

My bump is minuscule, but that doesn’t stop Walter from continuously placing his hands on it when he can. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, his hands are always on my stomach, but that’s okay. It’s sweet to see the demeanor of the detective change from someone who always has a figurative thunderstorm hanging above his head, to someone with childlike happiness.

We’re driving to Maryland now and we’ve been on the road for a mere forty-five minutes, when I say: ‘I have to pee.’

Walter starts to laugh loudly. ‘Again? Princess, you went three times back at home.’

Home. That shouldn’t make me giggly, but sure does. ‘I know, but I have to go again.’

‘Lucky you there’s a gas station right here.’ He gets off the road and parks his car. ‘Want something to eat, princess?’

‘Some orange juice, chips and chocolate.’

He simply nods and tells me to stay put. As usual, he opens the door for me. He was already very chivalrous when we just started dating, but pregnancy has multiplied it by a hundred. He securely places his hand on the small of my back and like the true detective he is, he checks everything and everyone in the gas station, before he says: ‘I’ll be right here, princess.’

I squeeze his hand, a silent thank you, before walking off to the restrooms to pee. After I washed and dried my hands, I exit the restrooms, to see Walter is already waiting for me, with all the snacks I wanted and even some more.

It’s nice to know that he still loves me a lot, even after we spend so many weeks together.

Once we’re back in the car, I let out a deep sigh.

‘Princess, you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m good. Just tired.’

‘Why don’t you sleep?’ he suggests. ‘I’ll let you know once we’re close.’

I groan. ‘No, because that is so boring and I’ve been boring for so many weeks now.’

He scoffs. ‘You’re not boring, you’re pregnant. You’re allowed to be tired, princess and please just catch up on some sleep now.’

I hold his hand in mine, as I close my eyes and drift off to a light sleep. Walter doesn’t need to wake me up, because after an hour or so my eyes flutter open and I smile. ‘We’re almost there?’

‘Maybe an hour?’

I grab some of the snacks and feed Walter, as he continues to watch the road. I once saw how he drove, because we were video calling then. It was fast, hasty and in my opinion not very safe. When he drives with me, he doesn’t ignore the speed limits and is very very safe.

Imagine if there’s a child in the back, I bet he’ll drive just as safe, if not safer.

He places his hand on my stomach and says: ‘I’m not gonna lie, but I’m kinda nervous to meet your parents.’

‘You are?’ I ask. I thought nervous wasn’t in his dictionary. ‘Why?’

‘I don’t know, it’s just nerve wracking. Not only have I never met them, but I also got you pregnant. That usually doesn’t do well.’

‘Oh, I wouldn’t worry,’ I say. ‘My parents are very open minded. Besides, my mom and I used to watch Sixteen and Pregnant and she always said that despite not having to worry about that since I lived like a nun back then, she’d love a grandchild. So, I think we’re good. Also, my dad is probably a little scared of you. He is not that tall.’

Walter chuckles. ‘Well, maybe this’ll go well.’

‘It’ll go splendid, Walter,’ I say, ‘really. If my parents see how well you take care of me, then there is nothing to worry about.’ I place my hand on his and whisper: ‘They’ll love you.’

He smiles. ‘Good. Alright, let me get this straight one last time: we met at a coffee place, right?’

‘Correct,’ I chuckle.

The last part of the drive goes by fast and before we get out of the truck, I put on a sweater to hide the little bump. Walter unbuckles himself and his hand slips underneath the thick fabric, placing it on my tiny bump. He leans forward to press a kiss on it and says: ‘I can do this forever. I might have to quit my job, so I can do this whenever I want.’

I roll my eyes. He has been taking this dad thing so serious and while sometimes it’s very cheesy, I love him for it. Really, I couldn’t have asked for a better man to start having a family with. Is it pretty short notice, being only together a little over four months? Yes, of course, but that’s okay. I feel like the two of us can actually handle it. ‘We should go.’

We get out of the car and when we walk up to the door (Walter holding our luggage, since my mom insisted we stayed in the house I grew up in) my parents open the it and mom runs up to me.

‘Oh, honey, there you are!’ She gives me a hug and I hold back a little, so she won’t feel my bump against her body. I give my dad a hug as well and they look both hopeful and a little nervous when they see Walter.

‘Mom, dad, this is my boyfriend Walter. Walter, these are my parents, Lance and CC.’

Walter is polite, a role that fits him so well, yet I barely see it. He is always so sweet and kind to me, so grumpy and annoyed when it comes to my classmates and so neutral when it’s others. Now it changes a bit. He smiles, he shakes my parents’ hands and from the look of their faces, he isn’t over squeezing it (I actually had to tell him that). ‘Nice to meet you,’ Walter says. ‘You have a lovely looking home.’

‘Oh, aren’t you a dear.’ Mom ushers us to come inside and Walter places his hand on my back, as we follow them inside. I give him a little nod, a sign that it is all going well.

And, it actually goes really well. My parents are in love with Walter and he is slowly warming up to them, eventually even cracking some jokes. We talked about how the two of us “met”, what Walter does for a living (currently he is working at the police department in New York and not as professor at NYU) and a little bit about my parents’ work. Of course, the subject school came up once or twice, but I kinda chickened out telling them I actually quit.

I clear my throat and say: ‘I actually have some news.’

Walter finds my hand underneath the table and gives me a reassuring squeeze.

‘What is it, honey?’ mom asks.

I look at Walter, whose eyes say it all: I’m ready when you are. ‘Well,’ I whisper, ‘I… I’m pregnant.’

Oh no, they’re silent. Oh my gosh, how are they going to react? I bet they’re mad. Oh, shit, my dad is clenching his jaw. They are totally mad.

‘Are you serious?’ my mom asks, blinking a few times.

I nod. ‘Fifteen weeks.’

‘Oh my goodness,’ mom says. ‘Honey, that is amazing. I am so happy for you.’ She stands up from the table and walks over to me. I give her a hug and she whispers: ‘You’ll be a fantastic mom.’ She pulls back and squeals something about becoming a grandmother. She places her hand on my stomach. ‘Oh my, a little bump. Honey, this’ll go fantastic. I am sure you and Walter will become magnificent parents. That reminds me, Walter, give me a hug. You’re officially part of the family, now. Congratulations, sweetheart.’

Walter stands up and gives my mom a tight hug. Dad walks up to me and holds my face in his hands. ‘You’re gonna be an amazing mother,’ he says.

‘You think so?’

‘I don’t think so, I know so.’ He gives me a kiss on my forehead and says: ‘Is this also a right moment to tell me you quit school?’

My eyes enlarge. ‘How did you know?’

‘You can maybe fool your mom, but you can never fool me, sweetheart. You know, you focus on your pregnancy now. You can always go back to school.’

I let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully he is pretty cool about me just quitting. We’ll talk about eventually going to cosmetology school a little bit later on. ‘I love you, dad.’

‘I love you too.’

✎ ✎ ✎

That night, Walter and I are in my old room, squeezed in my two person bed (that is a little slimmer than the one back in the loft) and we reminisce about the evening. It went more than splendid, even when my mom forced me to take off my sweater so she could see the bump. She called at least ten friends to tell them she is gonna be a grandmother and that the child will be gorgeous and lovely, though they have yet to be born.

Walter turns to his side so he can look at me and says: ‘Okay, I have a proposition,’ he says, ‘and I want your honest opinion.’

‘Okay.’

‘How about, you and I move to Maryland?’

Is he serious? ‘Really?’

‘Really. I could see how happy your parents were with the pregnancy and maybe… Maybe they’d like it if you would be closer to them. Besides, I can arrange something and work in Maryland. It’s not like I’m bounded to New York. For that matter, I actually really want to leave that place, because if I see that slimy ass Fitzgerald one more time…’

While I start to laugh because of his personal vendetta against Fitzgerald, my hormones are also all over the place, because I bawl my eyes out only a second later.

‘Princess, don’t cry. This is good news.’ He presses kisses on my temple and cheek, kissing my tears away. ‘But I’ll take that as a yes?’

I nod. ‘I would love that, Walter. Thank you.’

[theramseyloft]

Hello! I was wondering what sort of requirements pigeons would have and the whole breeds thing. (Sorry long ask) How much room would a pidge need? Like cage size and also, how would one go about excersizing them? Do you reccomend letting them fly free for the day and come back at night? Would they possibly get hurt or catch a disease/parasites out there? Are they expensive to keep? And what breeds are the most friendly/affectionate? Thank you :) 1/2

You know how some dogs have been bred to look nice but have a multitude of health problems (ie pug, chihuahua, great dane ,dachshund ect) does that happen in pigeons too? And if so, how does one know which might be genetically predisposed to getting problems later on or just generally wont have the best quality of life? 2/2

Whuf!

These are really broad questions. I’ll have to break them down and answer ne at a time, so I apologize in advance for the length of time it will take me to get this ask out.

“How much room would a pidge need? Like cage size...”

Pigeon breeds range in size from the tiny Valencian Figurita and Portuguese tumblers (vying constantly to be the worlds smallest breed) to the literally chicken sized Giant Runt.

So the amount of space required depends on the breed’s size and energy level.

Homers are about the average.

Here is an old picture from before the loft’s redesign of two of my breeding pair in their pens.

These are labrador sized dog crates, outfitted with a rabbit’s corner litter pan as a nest box and a garden stake cut to length as a perch.

Pigeons need flat perches because they are cliff nesters. Round ones like branches or dowels hurt their feet.

If yours is going to be a house pet, the cage should be what a crate is for dogs: A safe place to sleep or wait for you to get home until it learns the house rules.

Pigeons are intensely social birds that are happiest with the freedom of motion to come see you when they want, and go occupy themselves when they don’t want company.

The nice thing about pigeons is that they don;t need to be all over you all the time. They are independent enough to go do their own thing, but want to be able to come check on or spend time with you.

Which dovetails nicely into your next question: “how would one go about exercising them?”

A pigeon allowed to free range indoors will exercise themself plenty.

If you cannot let them free range the entire house, letting them out in your bedroom while you are home will be fine for most breeds.

“Do you reccomend letting them fly free for the day and come back at night?”

Absolutely not!

“Would they possibly get hurt or catch a disease/parasites out there?”

That possibly could be turned all the way up to a guarantee.

Performance breeds like racers, rollers, and tumblers are over bred to make up for the losses during training flights from inclement weather getting a bird lost, hawks snatching them out of the air, and diseases picked up from wild birds and brought back.

“Are they expensive to keep?”

After the initial cost for set up and the vet check to make sure they don’t have parasites and aren’t ill, the upkeep for a few is shockingly cheap.

You can get a lab sized kennel for $50-70. If you want an even bigger space, Great Dane kennels are about $80.

You can buy a wooden garden stake from pretty much any hardware store for about $5.

The bunny corner box is not required if you aren’t breeding. Pigeons will just as happily use a dollar store dog bowl to nest in.

My vet bill for a new bird is $70: $35 for the exotics wellness exam, $20 for a throat swab, and $15 for a fecal test.

I expected feral and lost birds to have lice, worms, parasites, and infections, but was floored when every single show bird I ever purchased from breeders did too!

You’re better off in the long run assuming something needs to be healed, cleaned out, or cleared up and just finding out from the vet as soon as they get there what needs treating.

Clear it out then, and an inside bird is pretty well set.

You can buy 50lbs of feed for $20 at Tractor supply.

And 50lbs of calcium supplements for $11.

I have 36 pigeons and 2 ringneck doves right now, so 50lbs lasts me a little over a week.

But a single bird will eat off of that for over half a year.

“And what breeds are the most friendly/affectionate?”

Most of the Exhibition breeds are pretty friendly, but from most to least kennel space, here are the ones I have enjoyed the most hands on:

Utility kings

These are the size of chickens and will need a LOT of flight time. 

They are a meat breed, so they are genetically predisposed to docility, but also obesity.

They do best free roaming the house full time. It’s really hard to find a cage big enough to comfortably accommodate them.

Giant Homers

Utility kings are a squabbing breed, designed for constant production of big squabs, so they are more bird-shaped than the Giant Homer, which was bred to be eaten as an adult, and then for the aesthetic of a fat round bird.

Like the Utility King, Giant Homers are known for their mellow, gentle temperaments. But after having worked with them for a few years, it seems mostly to be that they are simply too big and heavy to evade effectively, and they know it.

Along with being prone to obesity, their sheer weight puts tremendous pressure on their feet and they can develop huge, painful calluses.

I like my mixes better than their purebred parents, because they inherited the temperament with out the bulk that causes painful or dangerous health issues.

Lahore

Named for the city in Pakistan where they were developed, the Lahore is a huge, gorgeous bird. 

Their wing span more then the size of their actual body makes them difficult to cage, so it’s best they have the run of at least a bedroom.

these are laid back and mellow, but not exactly touch me birds. If one gets on your shoulder or in your lap, feel honored.

Frillbacks

For the same reason as the Lahore, Frillbacks can be difficult to pen indoors. 

An individual can be happy in a Great Dane sized kennel, but frankly won’t fit comfortably into anything smaller.

These are very laid back, not especially flighty, and quite friendly. Young birds are very much cuddle bugs, and the individual pictured still comes up to me to nurse between my fingers.

No known associated health issues, but individuals with especially long muffs can stay especially still because the shaft of the feather under the skin of their feet is bigger around than the bones of their toes, making walking painful.

Show standards require large muffs, so it can be hard to find them with muffs like Bean’s here.

There is one breeder that raises hers with short muffs and entirely clean legged. I’ll be happy to link you.

Voorburg Shield Cropper

These leggy, slender birds are a pain to house because of their height, but the only breed I know of with points taken off in the show standard if they are not friendly enough to try to court the judges.

This sweet flamboyant temperament makes them an absolute delight to work with!

These are the first on the list with no known health issues associated with the breed.

Show Type Racing homer

This is an elegant exhibition breed, easy to house in the example set up we discussed at the beginning of the ask.

They are bulkier than racing homers or flying type show homers, VERY tightly feathered.

This is a wonderfully sweet tempered breed that tends not to be especially flighty. 

Some of that is due to the sheer bulk of its musculature, but most of it does genuinely seem to be temperament.

Old Dutch Capuchine 

These have a reputation for being docile, but I have found them to be quite flighty.

Mixes incorporating this breed, though, tend to be quite bold and out going.

Racing Homer

This is the most commonly available pigeon breed.

Bred for endurance racing, this is a very high energy bird that needs a LOT of time out of the pen to fly. 

They have the strongest immune system and highest intelligence of any of the pure breeds.

though some individuals can be hair-trigger flighty, this breed is keenly intelligent and highly curious, and those individuals can learn to overcome their flightiness if their handler can learn to be aware enough of their comfort levels not to startle them with too-quick motion.

Lucerne Peak Crest

Named, like the Lahore, after the city in Switzerland where the breed was developed.

The Lucerne is an extremely temperature hardy breed. 

It’s among what are called the Owl Breeds; small, compact breeds with short to mid length beaks, round faces, and large, round eyes.

Most of the owl breeds are mellow and sweet tempered, boldly curious, and not generally prone to be flighty.

Their beaks being a little short makes their nasal slit narrow and the opening to their sinuses wide, so small seeds like Millet can get stuck in the nasal cavity of some individuals.

Classic Old Frill

Oh, this is my favorite purebred.

The total pidge package: Small, friendly, shockingly beautiful, devoted parents. 

There is absolutely everything to love about this wonderful cuddle bug breed.

Nun

These are a gorgeous breed, often described as being friendly because they are not smart enough to be wary.

They are unspeakably awful parents, prone to literally treating their eggs like an especially large, uncomfortable poop.

Old German Owl

Another absolute delight of a charming little Owl breed.

These are as stubborn as they are sweet tempered, which can make them a really fun challenge to train.

These are cuddle bugs, for the most part. 

Chinese Owl

These are tiny little clouds that range from intensely curious and strongly treat motivated to absolute refusal to have anything to do with anything even remotely human shaped with very little in between. 

Small and easy to house.

Portuguese Tumbler

This is a tiny bird, not much taller than a conure.

They are bred purely for aerial performance, so this is a SUPER high energy breed that, like the racing homer, needs a LOT of out time.

They are very bold in their friendliness, eager to check up on you and steal a cheek-smooch before zooming off to resume doing their own thing.

Unfortunately, their breed standard requires their back toe not to touch the ground. They go on tippy toes when they are happy, excited, or relaxed, which makes something like a human hand or shoulder physically difficult to balance on, and there for uncomfortable to stand on.

So trying to pet one throws their balance and stresses them severely.

Mixes with stronger feet are thrilled to have the affectionate attention of human flock mates.

Valencian Figurita

The tiniest owl breed, currently just barely winning out over the Portuguese tumbler.

It’s known for its trapezoidal head shape and upright stance.

This is a bold, plucky little bird that in my experience loves shoulders. ^v^

They are bred a little too small, though, tending to only lay one egg to a clutch, with many dying in the shell with out space for the peep to develop.

Their hatchlings are often given to ringneck doves to foster.

“You know how some dogs have been bred to look nice but have a multitude of health problems (ie pug, chihuahua, great dane ,dachshund ect) does that happen in pigeons too?”

Oh, god, you would not believe the number of pigeon breeds that aren’t even bird shaped!

There are nearly twice as many severely distorted breeds as fit, bird shaped ones.

Check the Modern art Pigeons tag.

“And if so, how does one know which might be genetically predisposed to getting problems later on or just generally wont have the best quality of life?”

Pippin is a feral pigeon.

This is about the closest you can get to the base line natural shape of the species Columba livia.

The more pigeon-shaped the breed, the better.

Ferals are, genetically, a blend of the homers, rollers, and tumblers that survived getting lost on training tosses or during performances.

Here is Wilson, another purebred Racing homer.

Because this breed is designed to fly marathons literally hundreds of miles, it’s a lot more compact and muscular than Ferals and genuinely wild Rock Doves, who only need to fly as far as it takes to find enough to eat in a day.

The farther off this base line you go, the less physically fit the breed.

The American Fantail is an especially heinous train wreck.

Its chest is out thrust over its head, its neck curves parallel to its spine, and its head is propped up by its own tail feathers.

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This pitiful creature is not just displaying.

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Their skeleton is permanently stuck in that shape.

Parlor rollers are bred with a combination of neuromuscular defects that throw their balance when ever they flap their wings, sending them into a panic as they flail to right themselves.

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Parlor Tumblers have a less severe version of the same group of deformities:

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We talked about the Old dutch Capuchine above.

Jacobins are the extreme “modern” version of the ODC.

You could trim their feathers to clear their field of vision

But their very long necks tend to collapse into their shoulders with age.

The male Barb’s huge, wrinkled wattle and ceres block off their nasal passages and deform the eyelids so that they may not be able to fully close.

Cocks usually go blind with in three years, but that doesn’t matter to their breeders because their peak show and reproductive performance is between their first and second year of age.

The Short Faced Budapest’s show standard requires its eyes to telescope as much as possible.

Its eyes are literally bigger than its skull, and don;t fit in their sockets.

The eye lid is all that holds them in.

And some can’t fully close their eyes.

This is the Oriental Frill, also called the Modern Frill.

they have literally no beak.

Turbits have a longer head, but a nearly inverted beak.

These birds can;t feed their own young, and struggle to preen themselves.

Aaaand here is the Egyptian Moraslat 

This is a very typical attitude among breeders of these birds with extreme body shapes.

I also have a series on weird, but physically sound breeds, and would be happy to go more into those in another ask.

[gambissanctum]

PART 2 Black Lighting: The Book of Fortitude:Chapter one:Brandon’s Duplicity

Authors note: Here’s part 2 guys! I don’t know how long this “book” will be but everything within “ThebookofFortitude” will be tagged as such so you can find it.Ignore typos and weird wording I got kinda tired lol Enjoy!

-------------

Brandon’s apartment 

“Aye, you got a hoodie?” Jennifer asks as she stands up ready to investigate. “Yeah” Brandon replies running over to his closet grabbing two hoodies. He throws one over to Jennifer. They both zip up and put on the hoods trying to conceal their identities. Brandon opens the door and its chaos.Residents in the apartment complex  are evacuating while Brandon and Jennifer are going the opposite way. Brandon nods his head directing Jennifer to a staircase towards the end of the hall. They keep their heads down as they rush to the floor above them.Once they reach the floor its completely abandoned. There’s debris shattered around the halls and broken light fixtures. Jennifer takes the lead and walks forward looking for the location of the sounds. Brandon follows behind her. She walks two doors down and apartment 301’s door was completely kicked in. 

Jennifer motions for Brandon to come forward. She sees soldiers sprawled out on the floor.” Yo, Jenn be careful” Brandon says as Jennifer gets closer to one of the bodies. A few of the soldiers have their helmets missing. Jennifer inspects their faces. Their eyes are completely black and there seems to be prominent black veins covering their faces.”Looks like Markovians”she says. “Maybe we should go” Brandon insists.”Hold on” Jennifer stalls as she squints to get a better look.”It looks like some kinda venom” she says turning to Brandon. “Jenn” Brandon says trying to get Jennifer to come back to his apartment with him. “You scared?” Jennifer asks chuckling. “No!” Brandon says unconvincingly. “It’s just not safe, how do you know they are really all dead?” Brandon questions. Jennifer lets out a sigh.”I can see electrical impulses, trust me I know the difference…...I can feel it”. Brandon looks saddened by that new insight. A vibration comes from Jennifer’s back pocket. She reaches back and grabs her phone. “ Ugh, it’s my dad” Jennifer huffs. “I gotta go but you think you’ll be okay without me?” she questions. “Come on, you’ve seen what I can do” he assures her. Jennifer rolls her eyes “uh huh”.

---------------

Anissa’s Loft

Anissa and Grace are in the kitchen area. Anissa is holding Grace from the back as she cooks some breakfast.”Shonda, play Never Too Much by Luther Vandross”.Anissa tells to her smart house. The record starts to play throughout the loft. Grace chuckles as she places a lid on the food she cooked. Anissa starts to sing along to the track holding Grace’s hands. “oooooohhh my love....a thousand kisses from you is never tooo muchhh”. Anissa sings. They both start to dance and laugh. “Let me see what you got! Grace  says as she shimmies her shoulders.”You don’t know nothing about this!” Anissa breaks out the robot and turns around in a circle. “Woooowww! I hope don’t!” Grace laughs. Their gazes are fixed on one another while Grace bites her lip. Grace felt safe and happy....very happy.... so happy that at times she was scared to be so happy.She felt like as soon as she really got into the groove of being comfortable in the feeling, it might get taken away. But for now she was trying to just live in the moment. Anissa pulls her closer grasping Grace’s booty. “Don’t start nothin you can’t finish” Grace teases. “Oh you know I can finish it” Anissa says confidently while kissing Grace’s neck.

 The music turns down as there’s a knock on the door.” Gambi knocks on Anissa’s door again. “ Anissa, your uncle Gambi is at the door” Shonda announces. Anissa and Grace roll their eyes as their moment is interrupted. ”Shonda, pause music, open front door” she says. Gambi walks through the door with a briefcase and looks at them both. “Am I interrupting something?” Gambi asked. Anissa and Grace glance at each other and smile.They consecutively and sarcastically say “Nope”. Gambi gets the hint. “Sorry to interrupt but I have some important news but first Anissa how are you feeling?” Gambi asks. Anissa is looking much healthier than before her run in with painkiller. Anissa responds  “Honestly a hell of a lot better, between whatever it was you gave me and Grace helping me... I’m feeling a lot more like myself.” 

 Gambi nods and brings the briefcase with a computer inside over to the table. “I’m glad to hear that because it seems that we might have a problem that hits close to home that we may need you to help with.” Gambi explains. “What do you mean?” Anissa questions. “Remember how I said the venom was ten times more potent than a sample I had before? Well it took some time but I was able to match the samples.” Gambi taps the screen revealing information about the sample and a digital photo of Khalil. Anissa hesitated with her response.”Why is there a picture of Khalil?”.“Khalil like your sister’s boyfriend that passed?” Grace furrows her brows. “That’s what I mean.... I was able to match the molecular structures with the sample I already had from one of his darts. Anissa it’s match.” he explains.” “But we buried him!” Anissa shakes her head in disbelief.“ And I know that, so heres the other thing.... I went by the graveyard Anissa... and.... he’s not there.The plot is empty.” He explains sternly. “Someone dug him up? Why would he attack me?” Anissa’s mind thinks of a million questions. “Not just someone, my thoughts point to Odell, and the why I’m still trying to figure out.More then likely with what he did to you, Odell has weaponized him to do his bidding.” He explains further.” “Does Jenn know? My dad? Mom?” Anissa asks. “ Your mom and dad know. I haven’t had it in me to tell Jennifer, your mom said she would talk to her today.I just wanted to warn you and Grace. Although Odell is still recovering I’m sure he has contingency plans so be very careful.

--------------

Brandon’s apartment

Brandon sits at his computer desk looking at a map. He presses the escape button and there’s photos of Khalil and Jennifer. As if he’s been doing some research on them, particularly Khalil. He gets a text message from Jennifer.

 TEXT BEGIN

Jennifer: Hey, you good?

Brandon: I told you, i’m good.I can handle myself lol

Jennifer: hmmm Just checking. It’s been like a week.Didn’t know if whatever that was came back looking for you or something.

Brandon: Nope, I’m good. You still coming by today?

Jennifer: I can’t. My mom wants me to do something but maybe later if it doesn’t take forever.

Brandon: Aight, bet

TEXT END

-------

Pierce Residence:

Lynn walks in as Jefferson is headed down the stairs. The tension is heavy between them. He looks over at her wanting to talk. “Lynn-”Jefferson is interrupted. “Jefferson, if this is not about our daughter, I don’t wanna talk about it. I already have to have a very difficult conversation with her today. So this... whatever this is between us is gonna have to wait.” She snaps. She walks further in the house. “Jennifer!”she yells out. Jefferson rolls his eyes and throws up his hands. His face is almost healed from the beating he took at the school. He didn’t want to argue with Lynn at-least not now. She gets closer to the staircase and calls out “Jennifer” once more. Jennifer yells “coming” from her room upstairs. As Lynn turns to head back towards the door a small valve falls from her pocket. She doesn’t notice but Jefferson does. Jefferson reaches down to pick up the valve as Lynn is looking towards the door awaiting Jennifer. Jennifer rushes down stairs. “Ready?” Lynn asks Jennifer. “Lynn?” Jefferson says confused about all the recent animosity coming from her lately.Lynn ignores him and rushes Jennifer out the door. Jefferson looks at Lynn and Jennifer get in the car wondering how things got back to this point. He closes the door and bangs his fist angrily. His eyes illuminate and the lights in the house flicker.He inspects the valve with a green substance inside in his hand. “Is this....?”

-----------

Car

Jennifer and Lynn walk towards the car. Jennifer see’s a figure in the backseat. “uh, mom?” Jennifer says. “It’s okay, it’s Gambi.” Lynn explains. Since Gambi is still thought of as dead to the outside world he is using the cloaking device he created allowing him to take the form of a ASA agent. “Mom, what’s this about?” Jennifer questions. “I’ll explain, just get in the car”Lynn says checking over her shoulder. They both get in the car and Lynn starts to drive.

 “ You guys are acting super weird, what’s going on?” Jennifer asks searching for a motive. “Well sweetie-” Lynn stops, searching for the right words to say. “What? Did someone else die? That seems to be an every day thing now. Just tell me I can take it.” Jennifer affirms. “Jenn, It’s not that.....”Gambi takes a breath.. “.Lynn you have to tell her.” “Well, you know I’ve been working a lot at the lab and how your sister had a run in with a meta trying to bring back Tavon. Well we connected the venom sample to someone.”Lynn explains .“Okay?” Jennifer shrugs. “We connected it to..... Khalil......The DNA matches..it took some work but Odell has been hiding him at the lab for some time now.I hadn’t seen anything like it before.” Lynn struggles to get it out. “What! Mom, Khalil’s dead! Is this a joke?” Jennifer snaps. “Baby calm down,I...know...this is alarming news but were being 100 percent  honest with you...I haven’t quite figured out how they did this but what I do know is Khalil isn’t like he use to be.There’s a chip thats been implanted in him and I haven’t figured out how to remove it without damaging his brain or whatever’s left of it. “So, he’s alive? I can’t handle this right now” Jennifer yells. “Yes and....I’ve finally stabilized him enough for him not to try to kill us”.Lynn expresses. “What?!”Jennifer eyes light up.”Baby girl, I know...I know... this sounds crazy. It’s like some Lazarus project, gone wrong but try to calm down, at-least until we get to the lab.” “That’s where we’re going? you’re taking me to him?!” Jennifer questions. “Yes, put this on, you may be his last hope. ” Gambi replies with an empathetic tone. He hands Jennifer a cloaking device.

-----------

The lab

“While agent Odell is in the hospital I have a little more free rein in the lab.We still have to keep this under wraps though.” Lynn states to Jenn and Gambi. “This hall is secret and the only area that I know the ASA agents don’t have access to without Odell.With him in the hospital I made sure the cameras in the room aren’t functioning.”

Gambi and Jennifer turn off their cloaking devices.

Lynn takes Jennifer to the side briefly. “Are you sure you can handle this?”.Jennifer nods taking a deep breath. “I just wanna see him.” Lynn gestures okay as she presses a button on her lab pad opening the door. 

Painkiller is laying down in a relaxed state wearing nothing but grey shorts.They walk in and he sits up. It was like he was in a trance. “Dr.Stewart” he says nonchalantly.

Jennifer couldn’t believe it. The initial sight of him sent a surge of feelings through her. It was like she was seeing a ghost. She felt like she was waiting for her heart to catch up to her eyes .Her heart was in a dark place and she wanted to make sure this wasn’t a dream. She didn’t know if she could handle it if it wasn’t.Jennifer and Khalil stare at each other briefly. His glare was cold and almost lifeless.Jennifer gets teary eyed as she approaches Khalil. “Be careful” Lynn warns her. “I gave him something to subdue him but the chip is still functioning,” she explained.Even the way he blinked was robotic. Jennifer touches his face. “I can’t believe this” Jennifer cries observing his face. Lynn and Gambi look at each other empathizing for Jennifer.Jennifer’s tears flood her face. “What did they do to you?” Jenn voice cracks. Khalil looks puzzled at the emotional reactions of Jennifer. Khalil stares at her trying to gather any memory of her. “Do I know you?” Painkiller asks with a slight attitude. Jennifer’s heartbreaks at his words.She knew he wasn’t himself but this was a lot to handle.The disappointment read strong on her face. She had hoped maybe their connection was strong enough to trigger something for him. “You really don’t remember me?” Jennifer inquires.

photocredit @blacklightningriverdalerants​

Will Jennifer be able to help Khalil? Is he gone forever? What’s Brandon up to? find out in part 3.

Thanks for reading! Remember comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!

[ruffiorocks]

Long post about the reasons Lena sold Cat Co.

FYI very Anti James Olsen, and not very Kara friendly either. You've been warned 😊

This makes me sad, even though it was obvious Lena would sell Cat Co. What's heart breaking about it is Lena was essentially driven away from her own company.

Remember when Kara was ghosting her at the beginning of season 3? She only came back to Lena when she needed her for something, ie. Help with Cat Co. What did Lena do? Lena FREAKING brought it!

Kara "no! Edge has Cat Co!"

Lena "no... I brought it" - Lena hesitates when she says this as though she isn't sure how Kara, who has recently been a jack ass to her would react.

She then gets more confident and says

"pretty bad ass right" - she sounds so pleased with herself and is expecting Kara to be happy.

Kara? Basically says she quit. She came to Lena for the first time in ages to rant and rave, complain and then basically ask her to help sort it and Lena DOES! But Kara seems to forget all of this and just quits het job.

Lena is shocked and is like

"well unquit!! I can't do this without you! I don't know anything about running a media empire"

Kara, like she can't be arsed and didn't just get what she went to Lena for says "well neither do I". It's so dismissive, and it's bullshit since she does know how that stuff works to a point because she was Cat Grants FREAKING assistant! Kara was waaaay more qualified than bloody James "I take pictures of my posing best friends" Olsen.

This here just proves that Lena would have had second thoughts about have brought Cat Co if she knew at the time Kara was going to quit. She clearly thought Kara would be there to help her run it.

Lena also says "how often do you get to work with your best friend" it's so cute, and so sad. Lena was looking forward to working with Kara.

Fast forward to the end of the Episode and Kara has a realisation that Lena Luthor is a God Send and did EXACTLY what Kara wanted and couldn't give a rats ass she quit and decides being a"boo hoo my boyfriend is gone so I can no longer be the person I was well established to be before he showed up" Emo is ridiculous.

So first day at Cat Co and the elevator opens up to Lena and she looks excited and then meets Eve, who to be fair (even though we know what happens) is actually the nicest person to Lena the whole time she's at Cat Co and that includes her best friend and boyfriend.

James is shocked she dared show up to her own business without informing him, he then has the gall to say they don't have an office ready for her, erm.... James? Cats office is now HER office! Every office in Cat Co belongs to Lena now. He just assumes he's still running things and says he was thinking about weekly updates. Lena who is clearly used to men telling her how to run her businesses and setting her aside tells him there's no need and she will be there every day. James again is SHOCKED his new BOSS is going to be at her the place she spent $750 mil on 😑

Kara shows up and to begin with is a little love who gives Lena a diary and basically calls her family. But then Immediately runs off the moment Lena asks her to do something.

Kara does this more than once and Lena asks James what's she's doing and James dismisses Lena's question with a snotty "she's a reporter! It's what she does!" Seriously rude!! I don't give a rats ass she didn't tell James she was turning up and she did tell Kara. She had a reason to tell Kara, she wanted to work with her and trusts her. She had no reason to tell James, she has every reason to turn up and check out the buisness and how he's running it without him or anyone else dressing it up because the boss is there.

Lena is an understanding angel and even though Kara is ignoring instructions and being rude Lena isn't rude back. When Kara pushes it past the limit Lena has no choice but to reprimand her. Kara took full advantage of Lena here, thinking she could just do what she wanted because that's what she has been doing with James running things. News flash Kara, Lena isn't in on why you ditch work every 5 minutes.

Kara realizes she's been an ass and apologizes and Lena, understanding as ever immediately forgives and they hug it out.

Later Lena tragically gets involved with James even though he was pushy and handsy when she said she didn't want to do anything without talking to Kara first, because Sister's before Misters! She dotes on his ungrateful ass and he puts her whole business at risk by meeting and working with the COL which she told him not to do. Which she is FULLY entitled to so as his boss. He of course ignores her, she gets him a TV appearence to talk with Ben Lockwood which would boost his career and putCat Co in a anti COL light but noooo... Apparently Lena has no say in work matters! Did you read that correctly? Lena has NO say in WORK MATTERS!! why didn't she fire his ass on the spot?!!

So James, only caring for his ego and wanting to be relevant since no one ever remembers he's Guardian feels that hanging out with terrorists is more important than his job as the face of Cat Co, putting Cat Co at risk. To further put Lena's business in jepordy he picks KARA the junior reporter to take his place?!! Kara?? There wasn't a fully qualified journalist with more experience available? Well that went to shit anyway because Ben Lockwood destroyed Kara in that debate.

James nearly gets himself killed, nearly gets Kara killed, nearly commits an act of terrorism without any regard whatsover about what Lena, a LUTHORS association with the poster boy of the COL would look like, no regard for her hard earned reputation and no regard for her business.

James even humiliates her further by making her look whiny at Thanksgiving dinner in front of all their friends, even though 5 seconds later his little Field Trip with the COL proves how clueless he is since he didnt even realize what they were doing. He basically praised the guy he was with and thought he was on to something. What... A... Dumb... Ass!!

Remember James also revealed himself as Guardian, a STUPID idea that serves Virtually no real purpose, but Lena was supportive because she's an angel!! But he's a dumb ass and thinks he is above the law and thought HE of all people was able to stop the DA from going through with the charges against him for being a vigilante. James ACTUALLY thought by doing NOTHING he had fixed the problem, like the authorities just forget these things?

He decides going out as Guardian is a good idea even though no one needs him to do this and he serves no real purpose as Guardian. But Lena because she isn't a moron, tells him he WILL go to prison. He insults her and says she worries to much and he sorted that issue. Here Lena finally tells this jack ass that she solved that issue and what was his response to her declaration of love and not wanting to see him go to prison or die? "If you think that's what love is, I don't want it!" And he leaves her in a corridor to awkwardly go back into Kara's loft, humiliated.

James goes all Ross Gheller and invades Lena's space at L Corp after she told him she was busy and thankfully she kicks his ass out!

He pretends to be on board with her Harun El ideas and uses this to get her into bed, only to sit up looking awkward about it while she sleeps. (Jesus my 34 brother watched this and was like 'he basically lied so he could sleep with her)

James considers using Lena's own resources to investigate her?!!

Lena thankfully dumps his ass and stops coming to Cat Co.

Now here's where its really relevant:

Kara and James basically run Cat Co without Lena to the point she doesn't even show up anymore. Harun El experiments aside, Lena no longer feels excited to be working at at Cat Co on a new adventure with Kara. Plus why would she want to see James??

Kara basically ignores Lena as Kara but she treats her like absolute garbage as Supergirl. Then returns to her as her bestie Kara. Lena was up to this point unaware she was being duped. Lena even makes a comment to Kara when she FINALLY decides to remerge as Kara Danvers that Kara hasn't been there at all but Alex has.

Lena finds out that Supergirl asked Lena's BOYFRIEND to spy on her and betray her trust which he actually does do btw, then he sours things even further between Lena and Supergirl by revealing it?? What purpose did that really serve? And NO! Do not tell me 'he had to be honest' what he HAD to do, was not break into L Corp in the first place!

Now we have Alex reprimanding Supergirl for being an ass to Lena and they come to a shaky truce.

During this time Lena and Kara get close again by trying to track down Lex and then Lena and Supergirl have a few bonding moments. Kara, however let's Lena think she's been blown up for a good few seconds!!

Now Lena finds out that Kara has been lying to her this whole time, it was Kara who treated her like garbage as Supergirl, Kara who interfered in her personal relationships. It was all the other super friends all lying to her. Etc etc. She even saw Kara burning all the pics Linda's cell so Lena won't find out. She learns all of this from Lex of all people! This just tells Lena that Kara never trusted her, second guessing why they are even friends? Realising Kara tricked her into revealing personal feelings she would Never have told Supergirl to her, yelled at her, called her a Luthor and then came back to her as he shoulder to cry on oh and let her think she had died.

Yeah..... I wouldn't want to work at Cat Co with ANY of them either. No way is Lena going to want to work with James and Kara (I know James is leaving) and be the one paying their wages.

Lena was Virtually driven from Cat Co by James and Kara even before she learned the super secret. She was never really treated with the respect she deserved as their boss, and the thing is she never demanded it, she only pulled rank when they were being jack asses and thinking they were above being told what to do, acting like Lena being the owner and boss meant nothing.

Poor Lena's enthusiasm for working at Cat Co with Kara died very early on. Mostly thanks to both James and Kara. All that joy and optimism she had? It's all gone. 😢😢

So I'm glad she sold it!

[phcking-detective]

1. Caught Dead with a Beretta

Fic Title: First Blood

Rating: E

Length: 1/33 chapters, ~128k

Tags: Slow Burn, Idiots to Lovers, Trans Character (gavin), Autistic / Asexual / Non-binary Character (nines), BDSM, learning to use good etiquette and safe words, Dom Nines / Sub Gavin, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter Tags: suicide, death / murder, verbal hazing

Link on AO3

***

Gavin's sick of working suicides—they're depressing as hell and aren't going to do anything for his promotion. He's just got to the crime scene already wants to go home. It's fucking ass'o'clock in the morning, and he hasn't slept worth shit, so of course Nines texted to let him know about the scene the second he'd finally dozed off. 

The elevator ride up to the two thousand square foot loft gives him enough time to get hit with shit, did I take my meds before I left home? Fuck. Maybe? 

Goddammit. Maybe he should switch to those patches and gels instead of a weekly injection. Taking his T is the one thing he never, ever forgets, so if he switched to something he could do daily and took his meds for the BPD and ADHD at the same time … 

The elevator doors ding open, ruining his train of thought. Nines is here already because he doesn't fucking sleep, apparently. That hot fuckboy he sucked off once—and the beat cop for this side of town—Brayden, is in there too, but Gavin's most recent bout of soul-crippling insomnia has actually worn him down too much to be horny. 

Well, too much to put forth the effort for flirting, at least. 

"—huh, Nine Thousand?" Brayden says as Gavin walks up. 

Nines doesn't respond. 

"He's RK nine hundred," Gavin says. "Not like the meme. Super disappointing." 

Brayden grins. "Yeah, but I mean like, the movie." 

"Nine thousand?" 

Gavin frowns, trying to force his stupid idiot brain to think. All he can come up with is 300. Maybe it's a movie based off of that one book? The like, underwater … and submarines. Something-number thousand leagues under the sea? No fuck, that's not nine thousand. 

"Two thousand," Brayden says. "And one." 

Shit, is that the number of leagues or the title of the movie? 

"Man, I am way too fucking tired." Gavin waves him off. "I'm not even into that film shit. I just like action movies." 

Brayden heaves a deep sigh. "I've seen your file, Gavin. You're too smart to willingly lump yourself in with the uneducated masses." 

"May we proceed with the crime scene, detective?" Nines asks before Gavin can reply. 

Brayden flinches a little. The only reason Gavin doesn't get scared himself is because he's gotten used to Nines not breathing or moving—until he suddenly does. Makes people jumpy as shit to realize they forgot about the giant fucking android just standing there.  

Not blinking. Or breathing. 

"Go ahead," Brayden says with a sweep of his hand, like he didn't just jump half a foot. 

"May we proceed with the crime scene, detective?" Nines asks instead of complying. 

"Yeah, sure," Gavin grants permission. 

Nines proceeds. Gavin tries to hold back a smirk. Brayden's the pretentious kind of asshole who loves explaining shit no one cares about, but he's pretty hot too, and Gavin's not quite ready to burn that bridge to Terra-dick-bia by pissing him off. No, that sounds terrible. The bridge to … mm, dick. 

Damn, he's tired. 

He follows after Nines, a little worried he might wander off in his sleep-deprived state and get lost in all this square footage of prime fucking real estate. Even saints would have to work to feel sorry for dead people as rich as this. 

Finally, he stumbles into a section of the open floor plan that seems to function as the living room. There's a flat screen tv nearly as big as the wall it's mounted on, a coffee table made from a whole chunk of mahogany with a half-full tumbler, and a dead guy sitting in a chair with a gun in his hand and a hole in his head. 

The TV still blares out the news, and the vic's own face flashes out at them. 

"This the Ponzi scheme guy?" Gavin asks. 

"Maverick Russell, age forty-seven." Nines shoves a finger inside the vic's mouth with no shame or preamble. "Blood alcohol level point-oh-nine-seven. The entry wound in his head appears to be consistent with a nine millimeter Beretta." 

He takes a small packet out of his Cyberlife jacket pocket and somehow has the coordination to open it one-handed. Gavin wrinkles his nose at the antiseptic smell as Nines sanitizes both hands with the wipe, even though he only touched the vic with one finger. Then he lifts that same finger to the victim's head. 

"Hey!" Gavin barks. "What have I told you about that shit?" 

Nines stares back at him with that unblinking, lizard-eye look. He touches his finger to the entry wound but doesn't push it in. Just brushes it back and forth, which is somehow way freakier. 

"The entry wound in his head is consistent with a nine millimeter Beretta," Nines says. 

"Great." 

Gavin walks a perimeter around the designated living room space. At first it's just to keep himself awake, but by the second circle, he's got one of those gut feelings. Something about this scene is off. Fuck if he can tell what though, 'cause the victim was drunk, watching his own demise on the news, and has a bullet in his head from the gun in his hand. 

"You feel that?" He asks. 

Nines cocks his head to the side. "The circulating air temperature is seventy--" 

"No." Gavin huffs and starts on another circle. "Do you like … you feel what I’m feeling?" 

"Your question is incomprehensible." 

Gavin sighs and grinds the heels of his palms against his eyes. He bites back a comment about this being why androids can't make good cops. Fuck knows why he's bothering to be nice now. He just wants to get this shit done and go home. 

When he opens his eyes, everything swirls with black spots in front of him. What's bugging him about this? The guy is dead, the gun is in his hand, the news says—

Gavin blinks the spots away and stands in front of the vic. Fake tan, but high enough quality that it'd look real if he didn't live in fucking Detroit. Decently fit, and the open kitchen on the other side of the room has one of those blenders that cost more than his car. The loft's decorated in masculine colors, all brown and navy and black leather. 

"Go check out the kitchen," Gavin tells Nines. "Tell me what's in the fridge." 

Nines does as he's told, but only after considering it. Gavin takes back the lizard comparisons. He's like a cat. One of those big jungle cats that's smart enough to eat the humans hunting them. 

"Dannon Oikos triple blended greek nonfat yogurt, coffee, four pack, five-point-three ounce cups," Nines says. "Dannon Oikos trippled blended greek nonfat yogurt, peanut butter banana, four—" 

Gavin rolls his eyes. "Just say yogurt. What else does he got?" 

"Yogurt. Eggs. Milk. Sparkling water. Chicken breast. Mayonnaise. Sliced ham. Apples. Protein shakes." Nines opens the freezer. "Chicken breast. Chicken breast. Chicken breast. Chi—" 

Gavin starts giggling. He can't help it. Nines turns around and glares at him, deliberately flashing his LED red for a second. 

"OK, fuck off, it's late," he says. "I'm like, super tired. Just analyze that shit or whatever and tell me if his food matches any of the latest high protein fad diets." 

"Yes," Nines replies so instantly Gavin wonders if he actually even looked it up at all. "The victim's food intake matches the Eight Step Enligh—" 

Gavin waves him off. "Yeah, yeah. Cool. Does the bar have gin, vodka, and vermouth?" 

Maverick Russell, definitely confirmed for one of those ultra-rich masculine gym types. Not like, an actual gym rat, just that generic rich person level of fitness achieved through liposuction, personal fitness trainers, and the latest fad diet. 

"Yes, along with seven other distinct liqueurs." Nines finishes checking the bar and returns to the living room. "How is this information relevant, detective?" 

"This drink and that gun don't match," Gavin says when Nines returns. 

Nines cocks his head again. "Match." 

"Yeah. I don't see any Bond memorabilia in here." Gavin takes another quick glance around, but the entertainment center doesn't display any vintage DVDs, and rich film buffs are not subtle about displaying their collections. "He ever purchased anything like that?" 

Nines's LED spins yellow for about half a second this time before he replies. "No. There are no significant purchases of memorabilia relating to the James Bond books or movies present in Maverick Russell's finances." 

"OK, then why the fuck does he have a Beretta?" Gavin asks. 

Nines looks at the victim, and then back at him. "That is what he shot himself with." 

"Yeah, but why," he stresses. "Would this guy—this self-obsessed, rich guy masc, desperate-to-be-cool motherfucker—have a Beretta?" 

"It is the tool he used to complete suicide." Nines frowns. "Is there a reason he would not have a Beretta?" 

"Because it's a ladies' handgun," Gavin says. "This guy's got three different TV remotes, a flat screen covering an entire wall, jesus, how old is that scotch?" 

Nines sticks his finger in it, because of course he does. "One hundred and twenty-three years old, consistent with—" 

"Shit, I would've thought this guy was trying too hard when I was twenty and desperate to be cis," Gavin mutters. "Look, I fucking promise you, this particular man literally wouldn't be caught dead with a Beretta—unless he's a James Bond fan. Even then … hey, Brayden!" 

"His input is unnecessary, detective." Nines cleans his hands with another sanitary wipe. "If you would be more clear—" 

His jaw shuts with a click as Brayden jogs over. 

"Hey, you like the Bond movies?" Gavin asks. 

Brayden heaves a tortured sigh. "I really prefer foreign movies, but for an American—" 

"All right, sure. Would you ever kick it with a Beretta?" 

Brayden bites the inside of his cheek, opens his mouth, then closes it with a frown as he thinks about it. 

"What if you were like, a super fan?" 

"Why?" Brayden glances around the loft with an interested look. "This guy have some collector's memorabilia?" 

Gavin shakes his head. "Nah. But why else he's got a fucking Beretta?" 

"Well that's not the drink for it," Brayden says immediately, then scoffs. "A scotch?" 

"Yeah, and he had the shit to make a martini too." 

"Weird. You thinking …" Brayden trails off, then winces. "Ah, shit. We uh, we got a guy a floor down. Said he heard the shot that, you know. But he said it was two bangs. And you know how shit witnesses are about getting anything right, and the TV was on and—" 

"That's shit I need to know," Gavin snaps. "Doesn't matter how stupid you think it is, you're the first officer on the scene, you report every-fucking-thing to the responding detective." 

"Yeah." Brayden clears his throat. "My bad." 

Gavin lets it slide only because now he has something to go on. "Whatever. Check me on the precon for this, RK." 

"Preconstruction running, detective." 

"So we got two shots." Gavin backs up so he's approaching the living room from twenty feet away. "So we should have two guns. The perp, coming in here, gets shot 'cause the vic's only got the one entry wound, but—" 

Nines touches the victim's hand, and then his cellphone buzzes. 

The distribution of gunshot residue on Maverick Russell's right hand is not consistent with a Beretta. The gun he fired has a longer muzzle and larger caliber. My preliminary preconstruction matches it to a .500 S&W Magnum. The victim has four registered in his name.

Gavin closes his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose. Would it fucking kill him to send that in five separate texts like a normal person? Now he's going to look dumb as fuck staring at the screen for five minutes trying to read one paragraph. 

OK, he’s got the fifty caliber Magnum, that's easy to read. Longer muzzle, larger caliber, right. 

"So the vic has a fifty caliber Magnum instead of a dinky Beretta, makes a lot more sense." 

Nines doesn't correct him, so that must have been the gist of the message. 

"The perp gets shot—" 

"Where's the blood though?" Brayden asks. 

Gavin glares at him. "Can you let me fucking work?" 

Shit, he's doing it again and this is why no one wants to work with him because they fuck up--everyone fucks up, he knows this, he fucking knows this--and then he just can't let it go but why the hell does Brayden think he's allowed to speak right now when—

He's not in trouble. He's not in trouble, it's just the loft, being in another rich empty room again. None of them are children and he's not in trouble. 

His cellphone buzzes. 

The floor has been scrubbed clean throughout the loft. I did not realize that was relevant information. I will give you full reports of my analysis moving forward.

That's not too bad to read, and concentrating on making the letters stay still actually helps him cool off a bit for once. Gives him something to look at other than Brayden's pretty, hurt face or the perfect fucking interior design that still feels like when he was thirteen and— 

Gavin shoves those memories aside and starts typing out a reply. 

just text me that shit

I'll prolly yell if u try telling me about the floors at every crime scene

"Am I dismissed then?" Brayden asks. 

Gavin looks up from his phone and can't force out any sort of apology. He never can. And anyway, fuck him. If Brayden wants to get pissy about getting snapped at twice after a legitimate fuck up and interrupting a senior detective mid-sentence, then sure. He can fuck right off. 

"Go get the maid," Gavin tells him. 

"The … android?" Brayden asks. 

"No, the roomba. Yes, the fucking android maid. Someone scrubbed the floors clean." 

And the side table.

Gavin doesn't bother with texting back this time. "That where the blood splatter would have hit?" 

"Yes, detective," Nines answers out loud. 

Gavin turns back to Brayden. "So there's your answer. Get the maid, 'cause I doubt the perp stuck around himself to clean the entire two-thousand square foot floor." 

Brayden hesitates. 

"She's still here," Gavin asks. "Right, Officer Burton?" 

Brayden gives a curt nod, but he breaks into a run as he leaves. 

AP700 #480 913 876 is located in the foyer of the building, along with Officers Miller and Abrahamson. I have sent alerts to their cellphones that the AP model is needed for questioning.

Gavin starts to ask how Nines knows that but … isn't this what he was literally designed to do? 

"She's not a suspect yet," he says instead. "So cool it, Terminator. And don't hack peoples' phones. That's what the officers have walkie talkies for." 

Nines makes a face like Gavin just suggested they all start using smoke signals. He's not exactly the type to go all buddy-buddy on witnesses himself, but they're definitely not going to get anywhere with Nines scaring the thirium out of their one lead. 

Gavin takes a moment to wallow in how much he hates this before he calls Hank. At least if he has to be up before dawn, so will that motherfucker. 

"We do not need assistance from Lieutenant Anderson," Nines says, his expression souring even further. "Or my predecessor. I recognize that I did not meet the necessary level of efficiency when I neglected to—" 

"Hey, this isn't a punishment," Gavin says, tilting the phone down away from his mouth. "I fucking hate Connor too, and when we have an android suspect, I get that's your thing. But right now we have an android witness, and that's his." 

"Ahh, fuck," Hank's voice comes out of the phone. "Sun's not even fucking—goddammit, Reed." 

"We will be at your location in twenty minutes, Detective Reed," Connor's voice says next. 

Gavin stares out into space as what's left of his soul collapses in on itself at the confirmation that those two really are fucking. Not even just fucking, they're sleeping together. In bed, for literal sleep. 

"Nines, tell them they're disgusting," Gavin orders. "You can put way more hate into it than me." 

 "Disgusting," Nines says with a sneer that would put Gavin's mother to shame. 

Gavin hangs up before Hank can reply. "I know you lack the capacity and all that shit, but if it makes you not-feel any better, I bet you five bucks the perp's android." 

"Based off of what evidence?" Nines asks. 

"Took a bullet and kept going." Gavin steps back into place where the perp probably walked in. "He's got the Beretta, but it's just a gun to him. He grabs the vic's gun, maybe disarms him, maybe doesn't even have to after the first shot." 

"The blood vessels on the victim's wrist have not been damaged." Nines starts cleaning his hands again even though he hasn't even touched anything this time. "Why would the human stop shooting?" 

"TV's on, he's drinking, has a gun out already." Gavin shrugs. "Might have been a suicide interrupted by a murder. Might've fired the first shot just being scared, y'know, gut instinct." 

Nines just looks at him. 

"Or you don't know, whatever." Gavin rolls his eyes. "But once he realizes what's happening—maybe he couldn't pull the trigger himself, but now here's someone gonna do it for him. Maybe he just sits back down. That still work with your preconstruction?" 

"Yes," Nines says. "Along with two thousand, one hundred and fifty-eight other scenarios." 

"Whatever. And just like, for the record, don't ask Hank about how this suicidal shit works," Gavin tells him. "Hank might not care, but those are fighting words with Connor." 

Nines doesn't move a single centimeter as he stares silently at him. 

"And don't fucking fight with Connor, we don't have time for it. Anyway, if anyone gets to pick a fight at a murder scene, it's me. So." Gavin walks up to the chair with his hand pointed like a gun. "The perp gets him back down, shoots him in the side of the head, then switches the guns so the ballistics will match." 

"He could have taken the victim's gun." Nines's LED spins a few yellow cycles. "It is registered in his name. The suicide would have looked more authentic." 

"And that's why I'm thinking our guy's an android," Gavin replies. "Someone who hasn't ever seen a movie before in his whole life. Thinks a gun is a gun is a gun. I mean, you didn't know why the Beretta was weird, and if you made A Plan to kill a guy with this gun, would you switch it up in the middle?" 

Nines's LED immediately hits blue, but it's that fake-blue that means he's really covering up a red. Gavin almost kind of … has a feeling about it? 

But then the elevator doors open with Brayden and the android maid inside. Gavin's got a burned bridge, a possible eye witness, and an a murder to deal with. Worrying about his partner's not-feelings will have to wait. 

***

***

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33

This fic is also available on my Patreon! $1 tier gets you each chapter a week early, so you could be reading chapter two right now~

$2 tier gets you deleted scenes and bonus content--this week, it’s extra scenes about how Nines was found at Cyberlife and how he gets his first apartment

$3 tier gets you access to the first chapters of two new AUs I’m currently writing--an A/B/O universe in which Gavin is a bitter omega and Nines is his android partner determined to help him during his heat; and a Reverse AU where GV200 “Gavin” is assigned as Detective Richard Stern’s sobriety companion

[ineffably-good]

Have a Little Faith in Me (2/3)

Read Chapter One

If there’s one thing guaranteed to make a demon who’s feeling unworthy feel worse, it’s being reassured by his loved one that the thing he secretly wants isn’t actually on the table to begin with.

Crowley noticed at breakfast that the angel appeared to have something on his mind. He was a little distracted, not as absorbed in the lovely morning rituals he enjoyed of making tea and breakfast. He carried breakfast over to the table and laid out two plates of blueberry pancakes and then all but fiddled with his fork, not appearing even remotely interested in eating.

Crowley looked up from stuffing at least half of the top pancake into his mouth, to find Aziraphale watching him, with an cautious expression in his eyes he couldn’t read.

“Wha?” he mumbled around the huge mouthful of food.

Aziraphale smiled a little at that. “Please,” he said, making a gesture, “feel free to swallow first.”

Crowley mock-smiled at the angel but did manage to chew and swallow the food before he tried again. “Why are you staring at me like that?” he said.

Aziraphale sighed. “I just – I just wanted to tell you. In case you were wondering – “ He paused, clearly trying to choose his words carefully.

“C’mon, angel, out with it. I can’t read your mind.”

“It’s just that – well, I love you, for one.” Aziraphale said, putting a hand over Crowley’s on the breakfast table. “And if you’re at all concerned about it, I’m absolutely fine with what we have. I don’t need anything more than this.”

Crowley knew he should be patient and understanding, but his morning musings about why anyone would love a demon enough to marry had left him feeling raw before Aziraphale even said anything. This – this disavowal certainly didn’t help.

He put his fork down decisively. “What in the blazes are you on about, angel?” he snapped.

Aziraphale looked taken aback at the unexpected level of aggravation he’d encountered. “Why – just, I see how it bothers you when people make assumptions about our relationship, and I wanted to reassure you that –”

“Assumptions?” Crowley said. “Why would I mind people making the assumption that we’re together? It’s you who’s bothered by it.”

Aziraphale sat back, eyes wide. “I most certainly am not!”

“Oh, yes you are,” Crowley said, pointing a finger at him accusingly. “I saw how you reacted last night when that waitress said the m-word in front of us. You pounded down your port and gave her one of those brittle smiles that are all strained around the edges and looked like you’d like to discorporate.”

“I did that because you were completely frozen in shock!” Aziraphale retorted. “Couldn’t even swallow your drink for horror at the thought of us being married!” He heard his voice rising and somehow couldn’t seem to control himself at all. “And then you shouted at her! Made it quite clear how you felt about it!”

Crowley balled his napkin up and threw it onto his plate. “Oh for Go—Oh for Sata—Oh for fuck’s sake, Aziraphale, I wasn’t horrified! I was just afraid you’d take it badly! You’ve pretty much shut down every time it’s come up.” He took a deep breath and tried to rein the shout back down to a speaking tone, but he knew he didn’t quite succeed. What came out instead was more venomous than he intended. “Didn’t want you to decide it was all going too fast for you again!”

Crowley watched in angry, agonized desperation as that unfortunate comment lofted its way across the table and detonated on impact. Aziraphale looked like he had had the air knocked out of him.

“Oh,” he said finally, his voice oddly breathless. “Oh. That.”

Crowley, unable to bear the tension and a rising sense of guilt, got up and paced over to the counter, where he stood with his back to the table and ran his finger over the various bottles in their spice rack, not really seeing any of them.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said, his voice very small. “That was a long time ago, and I assure you I don’t feel that way any longer about us. I thought it had been rather obvious, actually, that I’m up to your speed, now. We’ve been living together for almost a year!”

Crowley felt a tightness in his chest that defied all rational sense. “I know we are. But I don’t know, do I, what you feel about the rest of it? If this is as much as you ever want us to have, or if you want to move to the country someday or if you want to have a big ridiculous wedding or if you’re still – still thinking it over on some level.”

Aziraphale’s heart ached. He stood and walked over to Crowley and hugged him from behind, laying his head against his shoulder blade. “My dear, I had no idea you were still doubting my commitment to you!” He swallowed the hurt he felt at the concept and tried to continue. “I love you. I adore you. I’m not going anywhere, not ever again. Not without you, that is. How could you doubt that?”

Crowley relaxed and tried to discreetly wipe his eyes. “’m sorry, angel,” he said, “I’m being ridiculous.”

Aziraphale reached up and turned the demon around to face him, reaching up to lay a kiss on his forehead. “You’re being a little more human than demon right now, that’s all,” he said. It was natural to be scared sometimes when you love someone as much as this, he thought. Love makes you so, so much more vulnerable to loss.

“It’s fucking unbearable,” Crowley muttered, as if he’d somehow heard the angel’s thoughts. “how much it would hurt to lose you.”

Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley even tighter, and just held him. “You won’t. I promise you won’t. Just... have a little faith. In me, I mean.”

They stood that way for a few minutes, pressed up against the sink with Crowley’s head cradled on Aziraphale’s shoulder, just feeling the rise and fall of each other’s breathing. Aziraphale ran his fingers through the back of Crowley’s hair and felt the demon’s heart beat slow from a frantic, racing pace to a more comfortable thrum, and bit by bit some of the tension left his shoulders.

“I’d love to get married,” Crowley said, finally, his face buried in Aziraphale’s chest. “I just figured – you know, ‘m a demon and all. Makes sense, really. Can’t exactly be a feather in your cap to marry a demon.”

Aziraphale pushed back, affronted, and maneuvered Crowley until he was looking him right in the eye. “Anthony J. Crowley, don’t you dare say things like that about yourself. You are perfectly -- well, perfect for me. I don’t need a feather in my cap from Above. I need you. And if we ever did get married, I’d be delighted.”

Crowley searched the angel’s eyes and found only sincerity and an intense, mortifying level of love. “Ngk,” he said, his tongue suddenly several sizes too large for his mouth.

Aziraphale’s affronted look fell away and he laid another kiss on the demon’s forehead. “You’re a silly serpent, Crowley.” He kissed him again. “To be honest, the only reason I don’t care about whether we get married is because I essentially already think of you as my husband,” Aziraphale said. “I don’t see how we could possibly be more wedded to each other – do you?”

“Well no,” Crowley said. “You’re right, mostly. But, er, it could be kind of nice, couldn’t it? To make it official and all that. Have a big bloody party.”

Aziraphale smiled delightedly. “And rings?”

“Yes please,” Crowley said. God yes. “I’d love to wear a ring, for you. And for you to wear one! Be super handy for flashing in the face of all the hopeless, romantic twinks that come in the bookstore and make eyes at you, for one thing. The bigger the better. Maybe we could even get one that lights up, to really attract their attention.”

Aziraphale scoffed. “I really don’t think that happens anywhere near as frequently as you think it does, love.”

“It does, actually. You just don’t notice.” Crowley felt a lightness in his chest that he hadn’t experienced for weeks. “All right, then,” he said. “I’m not asking today, like this -- not after an argument. When I ask you, it will be a much nicer experience than this. I promise.”

Aziraphale smiled a little mischeviously. “Or perhaps I’ll ask you,” he said.

Crowley grinned. “Not if I ask you first.”

“Oh, lovely,” Aziraphale said, his smile almost painfully bright. “Just what we need, another competition.”

“Oh, shut up,” Crowley said, leaning in to nip at the angel’s lower lip. “You need a distraction.” He bent down to kiss his neck in a particularly sensitive spot.

“Fine,” Aziraphale sighed dramatically, nearly bubbling over with sudden happiness. “Have your way with me, dear. Do your worst.”

Crowley did his best to comply.

[rendiggitydog]

XXX

"Iskall- Iskall slow down, I'm out of rockets!"

Iskall disappeared in the End fog, too far to hear Xisuma's cries. The Void was open and dark, seemingly dragging X down. He struck his last rocket, but it fizzled and died without igniting.

"Come on..." There was no land. No where. Only Void. It called. Shivers crawled up X's spine. Not again. Not again not again notagainnotagain-

Xisumavoid fell out of the world

X gasped, sitting up sharply. Ex held his shoulders gently. "Are you alright?! I'm so glad I made you sleep here before leaving!"

"I'm- I'm fine." X took a shuddering breath, staring into the floorboards under his feet.

"...I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Exy."

As the two sat in silence, there was a sharp knock at the door and quick steps coming up the stairs. Mumbo burst into the loft panting, worry in his eyes. "Exy, are you alright? Your texts sounded urgent, and since I was nearby..."

Ex moved to take his hand off X's shoulder, but decided against it. "I was... worried about X, but it's fine. You can go." He mumbled, embarrassed.

Mumbo sat in a wooden chair nearby, much to Ex's dismay. "Why were you worried about Xisuma? Falling into the Void happens all the time!"

"Have you ever seen me fall in the Void though?" Even saying the name made X shiver.

"I- I suppose I haven't. Why, does this mean something?" Mumbo furrowed his brow. "Does this have to do with your... origin?" Mumbo whispered, glancing at Ex.

Ex turned to Xisuma, who simply nodded. "I suppose we'd better tell someone."

"Fine, but you tell the story, I don't wanna," Ex said shortly.

X shook his head. "Fine. Promise you won't tell anyhermit until we're ready?"

Mumbo nodded, excited but nervous to finally hear the story of Evil Xisuma.

X sighed. "Where to start... I suppose it all started when I was first alone.

I was an admin, granted full power over my world. But, my world was empty. All the other admins I had talked to had people living in their world, but I didn't.

For a long time, I liked it. It was peaceful, calm. I could do whatever I wanted! I built houses, cities, nations. I built rustic, and modern, and everything in between. I filled them with animals and villagers to give them life. I terraformed the landscape, as far as the eye could see. But, after a while, even the creature sounds weren't enough to fill the silence. Months turned into years, and the silence grew upsetting.

I went rouge.

I killed every creature I had befriended. I burned every forest I had built by hand. I tore down every building I had made over the years. I was insane. I was unstoppable. I was powerful.

The world was destroyed. It was bedrock, as far as the eye could see. My sanity was destroyed. I had nothing left to give. I decided to end it all.

I jumped.

I wasn't sure what death from the Void would feel like, but what happened definitely wasn't death. The Void almost... caught me, in a way. I was saved.

I begged and pleaded- for death, for freedom, anything. And the Void responded.

Ask for what you truly desire.

I was confused. I didn't want anything. I asked for death. But the Void said no. I asked for freedom. The Void said no. What did I want?

A friend. I asked for a friend, and the Void agreed silently.

You may have your heart's desire, if you give us what we desire in return.

Well, what do you desire?

We cannot tell the secrets of the universe. What the Void gives, the Void takes away. Do you accept?

I accepted. Anything to be free and happy again.

Next I woke up, I was back in the overworld, everything rolled back. Back before I destroyed it all. Before I had built anything. But something was different.

A figure.

A lone figure on the horizon, coming towards me.

A real, live, human person.

I introduced myself as Xisumavoid. I added the 'void' part in that moment- out of respect, I suppose. The person didn't have a name, so we came up with one.

How about Donovan?

No, that's stupid. My name was cool, he needed a cool name.

What's cooler than Xisumavoid?

Well if I go by Xisumavoid, why don't you go by Xisuma? It's only the two of us, so it shouldn't matter too much!

And so it was: Xisumavoid and Xisuma, friends till the end. However, over time, as you probably expected, things started going downhill.

Xisuma started acting super irritable. He would yell at me, some days worse than others. We could argue for hours on end. His anger was uncalled for, and he did nothing to stop himself.

I wasn't without my faults either. I found myself short of breath often, struggling to keep up with Xisuma on our adventures. I complained constantly, which I regret now.

This cycle tore a rift between us: I couldn't keep up, and he would lash out in anger. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want things to go back how they were before.

I jumped again. This time, I knew what to expect.

I want information. What did you do to me? And what about the angry Xisuma with me?

With every action the Void takes, an action must be given. The gift of your friend came at a price. He is one and the same as you.

What are you saying?

Your Xisuma comes from your own self. His passion is from you.

I don't understand.

We have given, now you must take. Go.

And I woke up again, the world rolled back. The 'Evil' Xisuma faced me with hatred. How dare I go to the Void without his permission!

I'm my own person, unlike you! You're made of part of my soul, the Void told me so! You aren't real!

He didn't like that.

The hot-tempered Xisuma attacked me, and we fought for a long time. We were the same. He was my passion, my hatred, my anger.

And he was angry. Tears fell from his face as he screamed. He was abandoned. The Void brought him to life, and tossed him aside. The Void is heartless. And then I left him too. I left without telling him, left to the Void, his enemy. He cried and begged and I couldn't console him.

He was hurt, lonely and afraid.

I tried to comfort him and apologize, but he wouldn't accept. He ran, but I couldn't keep up, just like always. I was alone again. Just like always.

I resigned to my fate, having driven away my only friend and literal other half. In my free time I learned complicated redstone and technology. That's when I made this suit for myself! The mask helped me breathe properly, and I was finally able to explore as I pleased.

I roamed for years, not quite sure what I was looking for. The generic trees blurred together, the landscape growing flat and dull. Everything was pointless without someone to do it with. The idea of building a nation didn't excite me like it used to. Until I found him again.

He ran to me, and we hugged for a long time. We apologized. He admired my new armor, and I taught him everything I had learned. Soon, we had matching sets! Mine was green, after my connection to the world around me. His was red, after his temper and energy.

We lived happily for a long time after that. Just two good friends, adventuring and building together, just like before. Tensions were high sometimes, but we always worked it out.

And then people arrived.

They came from nowhere, yet here they were! I wanted to welcome them with open arms. I had been alone so long, I craved more human contact. Xisuma, however, disagreed. He wanted to keep them at a distance; he was afraid of being abandoned again. After much debate, I introduced myself, and Xisuma wasn't seen for a very long time after that- although I always suspected he never went too far.

Occasionally one of my new friends would ask me about loading errors and spawn rates in their farms. Even as the admin, sometimes I wasn't sure of the cause, so I blamed 'Evil Xisuma' who supposedly roamed the lands.

The joke was ongoing in our growing community, and apparently Evil Xisuma heard about it at some point. He confronted me in a fit of anger, and it ended in many, many scars- physical and mental.

After that, we split ways permanently. I suppose they say time heals all wounds, huh? Now here we are, arms around each other again!"

X hugged Ex tightly, who sighed but didn't pull away.

"Wait, hold on," Mumbo shut his eyes, running through the story again. "So X went to the Void, the Void split him into good X and bad X, and that's-?" Mumbo searched for clarification.

"You've got it! We were technically one person once!"

"And that's why you wear the mask, huh?"

"Well, I did. I don't need it much anymore, it's mostly aesthetic." X chuckled and removed his helmet, smoothing his hair.

"I never needed it for health reasons, but I feel better keeping it on..." Ex muttered.

"He's self-conscious of the cool scars I gave him," X said with a wink and a nudge.

Ex shoved him back. "Not true! I just don't like people asking about them, is all. They're still cool."

"Wow, I had no idea, I'm so sorry. Did- Did you talk to It just now?" Mumbo asked with concern, but curiosity.

X laughed. "No, I've only spoken to the Void once after these events," X grew distant in his thoughts. "Although I suppose that's another story altogether, haha!"

"Well, I'd be willing to listen if you want to tell it some day. For now, I'd probably better go. Thank you for telling me Xisuma! And it's nice to get to know you better Exy." Mumbo left with a genuine smile.

"...I can't believe you just told him..." Ex shook his head.

"He's been a friend for a long time, Exy, he deserves to know. And you deserve love."

"Blegh, don't get mushy on me now."

[danapiccoli]

Boughs of Holly (a brief lesbian holiday rom-com)

 Narrator: Holly Jones, a no-nonsense workaholic whose grinch of a boss sends her to the idyllic town of Mistletoe, Manitoba on Christmas Eve to close a deal. Holly’s company wants to buy all the tree lots in town, Mistletoe’s main source of income, and turn them into overpriced lofts for hipsters. Holly is beautiful, but bitter, and hasn’t celebrated Christmas since the year of the incident.

Zoe Pine is a third generation Mistletoer and the town’s first lady lumberjack. She’s been working overtime to supply the town with the butchest and most beautiful trees in Canada. Zoe loves the holidays and when she’s not chopping wood, she’s volunteering at the community center, teaching kittens how to love.

Let’s take you to the scene where Holly and Zoe meet. Holly, who is a city girl, manages to drive her rental car into a snow pile and gets stuck. With temps approaching freezing, she sure is in a pickle.

Holly: Great. This is exactly as I pictured my death: freezing to death in a mid-size rental in a strange town. And, of course, this place doesn’t have any cell service. (Yells) Are you happy now, Santa?!

Narrator: Zoe, who was vigorously chopping wood nearby, hears Holly’s cries.

Zoe: (with sympathy) Hey, I couldn’t help but notice you are in a bit of a jam.

Holly: (irritated) Oh perfect, now I’m going to get ax murdered by a sexy lumberjane.

Zoe: Excuse me?

Holly: Sorry, I mean, yes. I am literally stuck in a stupid (kick) snow (kick) bank.

Zoe: You’ll have to wait until tomorrow for a tow truck, but I’ll happily give you a ride somewhere.

Narrator: Despite the cold, Holly suddenly feels warm.

Holly: Really, that would be amazing. I’m staying at the Mistletoe Inn.

Zoe: I know it well. Hop in my rustic but well-maintained pick-up truck, which tells you that I have an affinity for the classics but I’m also good with my hands.

Holly: Great truck.

Zoe: Thanks, I restored it myself.

Holly: (gets flustered) Oh god. (fans self)

Zoe: So, what brings you to the fair city of Mistletoe?

Holly: I’m here on business. My company is buying all the tree lots to turn them into high priced condos. Didn’t you hear that in the narrator’s opening dialogue?

Zoe: Excuse me?

Holly: Although, I’m not sure who would want to live all the way out here.

Zoe: (upset) I live all the way out here. And I make my living from those lots. So, does most of the town.

Holly: Well this went from hot to awkward super-fast.

Zoe: What’s wrong with you? Don’t you have any Christmas spirit?

Holly: (serious) no. Not since the incident.

Zoe: Ok, there’s a lot to unpack here. I’d ask you about the incident, but I’m upset now and here’s your hotel. (sarcastic) Nice meeting you, Krampus. (Zoe leaves)

Holly: Huh. Well that was strangely exhilarating.

 Narrator: It’s now Christmas Day and Mistletoe is decked out in colored lights. Holly’s meeting with the tree lot owners went successfully. They are in a bind and Holly’s company can swoop in and get them for cheap…but something is tugging at her icy heart. She walks down Main street and sees Zoe building a snowman with the town children, wearing a very fetching flannel.

Holly: (awkwardly) Hi.

Zoe: Oh, it’s you. How’s your town take-over going?

Holly: Fine I guess. But, I feel weird about it.

Zoe: Maybe because you’ll be singlehandedly decimating a town?

Holly: Well, when you put it like that. Yes.

Zoe: Good, then maybe you aren’t the grinch I thought you were.

(Holly goes to walk away dejectedly.)

Zoe: (sighs) Hey, what are you doing for Christmas tonight.

Holly: Oh, I don’t celebrate the holidays. All the eggnog and pies are just too overwhelming. It reminds me of the incident.

Zoe: Ok, you have to tell me what the hell you are talking about. Because you are really pretty and I’m weirdly concerned.

Holly: (extremely smitten) No one has managed to dismantle me the way you do. I feel like I can tell you anything.

Zoe: Wow, you are on the Polar Express to Uhaul-town. I’m ok with it, actually.  How about you tell me the incident.

Holly: Well, when I was a child…my grandmother…got…run over…by a reindeer.

Zoe: (laughs)

Holly: Why are you laughing?

Zoe: Oh god, you’re serious. Uh, that’s terrible. But I’m sure your grandmother would want you to enjoy the holidays anyway.

Holly: Oh no, she was a joyless misanthrope. But there’s something about this town that makes me wonder if all these years I’ve been missing out.

Zoe: Mistletoe is a magical place.

Holly: I feel all lightheaded and I have butterflies in my stomach.

Zoe: We have an unusual amount of natural gas here, you’ll get used to it.

Holly: Oh.

Zoe: (puts her hand on Holly’s cheek) Why don’t you come with me. Have some hot chocolate, pass out some presents, watch Imagine Me and You eleven or so times. It’ll be fun.

Narrator: They get closer and breathlessly say the next part.

Holly: What does Imagine Me and You have to do with Christmas?

Zoe: It’s not Christmas without 11 Piper Perabos piping.

(both look out to the audience)

 Narrator: The next day, because they are lesbians and we are on a tight schedule, Holly and Zoe have fallen under the spell of the holiday. Holly can’t bear to watch the town of Mistletoe suffer at her hands.

Zoe: (chopping wood) So, when does Mistletoe go down the tubes?

Holly: It won’t. I called and quit my job. No one is buying Mistletoe today or any day, because I’m investing my 401K in the tree lots. You helped me realize that I’ve been blaming Christmas for all my pain. This town is magic. You are magic.

Zoe: Come here, let’s chop some wood. (Goes behind Holly to teach her how)

Holly: Zoe, what’s your last name?

Zoe: Pine.

Holly: I love you, Zoe Pine.

Zoe: Let’s get a cat and name her Carmilla.

 The end.

Boughs of Holly is by Dana Piccoli 2018

It was performed one time only-at Clexacon London by Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis.

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler.  This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week.  Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show. 

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display. 

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other). 

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK.  Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji* 

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).  

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest.  Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city. 

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

[texthemess]

Matt & Elektra + finding an apartment together

this one i had waaaaayyyyy to much fun writing. since i have roleplayed matt murdock for a long time this was super in my interests. ugh. i hope you guys like it.

------------------------------------

Lush life.

( gif credit: elektranatchios )

A groan escaped beaten lips as the Murdock boy turned in his foggy state. Arms reaching above his head in order to stretch sore muscles. A dark haired beauty stirred beneath silken sheets next to him. Her voice trailed lightly as she reached for him tracing her hand lightly down his chest before coming to lay at his collarbone. That night before had taken a big toll out of both of them. He may be in pain now, but they definitely had fun together. 

The nights were, more fun, when Elektra was at his side. He would have it no other way truly.

Raising her hand to his lips he scattered light kisses upon smooth skin. They both had bruises to bare, yet it seemed he got the shit end of the stick. Then again, she was far more attentive than he was. It could be in his blind state, he could always pull that card. But truth be told she was just, better than him sometimes. Yet he would never admit to it. If he ever did he would be in big trouble that was for sure. She would never let him live it down.  

‘ Hey…we should get up. Get a start to the day. We have a few places we need to look at. That is, unless you wish to stay here in this loft of mine forever, ‘ he chuckled lightly under his breath as he sat up with a groan. Cursing off his sore body and whatever trouble they found themselves in the night before. She sighed out as she stretched across the entirety of the bed as he moved.

‘ Ahh as lovely as that sounds, unlike you that giant neon sign does in fact bother me and keep me awake at night, ‘ gentle laugh left lips as she rolled closer and ran kisses up his back to his shoulders. Sighing with content she pushed him up to get moving.

Elektra herself slipped from the silken sheets with ease as she took stride towards the bathroom. Her skin sleek in the light drowning in from the shades in the living room. That woman wouldn’t be caught dead sleeping in clothes. With a boyfriend who was blind and a bed so soft, who would waste time wearing clothing in bed? How boring. Plus it gave her the opportunity to mess with Matt every chance she got. She knew he could see her in his own way, that didn’t stop the blind jokes none the less.

Standing before the mirror she stretched arms above her head and let out a graceful yawn. Black hair cascaded down muscular back as she ran her fingers through the strands. Groaning at the sudden glance of a black and blue bruise that took over the skin of her shoulder. Lips poured as she realized she wouldn’t be able to wear her favorite dress that day. Eyes rolled as she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and made way to the small closet that held mostly her clothing.

Fingers fumbled through each hanger feeling the fabric of each piece. Free hand propped against hip as she tapped her forefinger lightly upon flesh, ‘ aha, ‘ there it was. A sleek red dress with long sleeves and a swoop neck to give enough cleavage to make herself confident in the day. As she slipped the garment over her body she tugged and settled the fabric by smoothing out atop her legs. Gave herself a twirl in the mirror and back to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

Matt was far less of an ordeal. Each worksuit labeled by day and week. Something foggy helped him with back in the day though matt was perfectly capable of putting his clothes together himself, he thrived in playing along with him until he ended up finding out the big secret. But it wasn’t a workday, it was a beautiful day off with a beautiful creature who was in the process of looking for a place for the two to move in together. He went for a basic long sleeve shirt that matched the intensity of style of her dress, dark jeans, and a warm jacket. Though they were in the middle of summer, New York still held its cold rainy days.

And how he much rather would take her clothes off and keep warm by rolling around in bed, or the floor, they still had things to do.

Clearing his throat he leaned against the frame of the bedroom sliding door as he smiled warmly. Unfocused gaze directed in her general area, “ are we ready to go? We’ve got a whole list Elektra, “ his voice calm and loving as she strides out of the bathroom heels clicking upon hardwood floor, ‘ ready. Let’s go. ‘ holding her arm out to him she nodded. Linking his arm within hers he used free hand to grab his cane, keys, and out the door they went.

The cool rainy air was refreshing to heightened senses as Matt’s eyes fluttered closed. Inhaling deeply as he cracked his neck side to side. His body tensed with the new found cold that seeped into his sore muscles, but god was it a good wake up call. Ears perked as he could hear Elektras skin raise with goosebumps and heart skip a beat. Smile tugged on lips as he leaned to her and placed a firm kiss upon her temple, “ Matthew, “ gentle laugh laced her voice within her throat.

The two walked slowly, taking their time down the street. The first location was not to far from the current loft Matt rented. A black car followed them slowly block by block in case they wished to use it. Elektra was so high end in her tastes. Yet she thrived in making Matt feel just as comfortable. If he wished to walk, they were to walk. Heels clicked against the concrete and echoed in Matt’s very soul. What would he do without her?

After a few minutes, some laughs, and light conversation the pair arrived at their first destination. A high end loft building in the midst of downtown. It was very tall, very clean. Matt chuckled under his breath and cleared his throat, “ oh come now Matthew have a sense of adventure, “ she tugged his arm inside as they arrived to the front desk. It was very classy from what he could sense. A water fountain trickled lightly within the quiet lobby. Some leather clad chairs surrounded a fire place that was lit and crackling with each pop of a wooden log. He could smell the fire from even outside. It was soothing.

“ hello there, my name is Elektra Natchios we have an appointment to tour some lofts, “ a few clicking of keys and a nod, the agent held his hand as he spoke quietly, ‘ please, follow me, ‘

This was all so much for Matt. The Murdock boy who grew up in the ghettos of Hell’s Kitchen. He never had much as a kid and certainly had little as an adult. It made for his life to be simple, uncluttered. The apartment he grew up in sometimes not even having electricity or water due to being turned off by lack of bills being paid. Though he was far better off now, especially with Elektra around, it still seemed too much.

As the elevator climbed dozens of floors, Matt seemed to drown out the escort who was informing them of all amenities and requirements of the building. Security protocols, courtesy officers, key cards for entry to almost every door in the building. It all was too much. Instead Matt listened to the sound of Elektras breathing. It kept him calm and blood soothed. Eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled, exhaled. Chest rising, and falling. Every so often a few strands of hair would fall and brush against her cheek. Sliding gently down porcelain skin. How he would do anything for her, kill for her, she brought out the best and worst of Matt Murdock.

The sudden ding of the elevator catapulted him back to reality as he groaned under his breath. He was in such a zone. Clearing his throat he followed, “ you are being quite the silent type sir, are you finding everything to your liking so far? “ shit he’s being talked to now. Head cocked to the side as he chuckled under his breath, “ oh yes, yes. This is quite unlike anything I’ve ever seen, er, experienced. “

Ah yes, the quick side step of, I’m actually blind nice to meet you. With a shake of her head Elektra squeezed his arm with reassurance. She knew this wasn’t really his style. And that was okay.

The loft was gorgeous from what he could sense. The walls smooth with marble tiles. Another fire place that lit with the flip of a switch. The propane smell filled his nostrils as it was flipped on. The lights soft and bright enough to not cause a headache. Elektra walked to the massive glass window. Ceiling to floor just as she liked it. The view of Hell’s Kitchen breath taking from that height. There was an island in the middle of the kitchen where she ran fingers lightly across the stone top. She loved it. Everything about it was her type of environment. That’s where the two seemed to differ in their relationship. Yet, if it’s what made her happy, it’s what he wanted.

Smile crossed Murdock’s lips as she walked around taking it all in. He was doing the same, in his own way that is.

Stairs that cascaded up towards the ceiling that lead to a second level. The bedroom on the other side of the wall with a bathroom fit for the queen she was. A waterfall style shower. Tilting her head Elektra bit the side of her lip. She whispered under her breath so only he could hear her, “ imagine all sorts of fun we could have in there, “ in the silence of the loft matt chuckled out. The escort glancing his direction with a raised brow, “ everything alright sir? “ “ yeah I’m sorry, i just remembered something I— my friend told me a funny story last night, “

Elektra smirked to herself as she returned to them, “ it’s gorgeous. I love it, “ Matt smiled warmly as she was glowing with excitement. This was definitely her speed. The escort clapped his hands together and motioned towards the door, “ wonderful. Shall we go fill out some paperwork? “ grabbing Matt’s hand she cleared her throat as they made their way back down to the bottom floor.

“ I would like to have time to think if it’s all the same with you. We will have an answer by the end of the day for you, “ a faint slightly defeated smile crossed the escorts face as he gave a slight nod, “ as you were. I am here until 6 pm. Otherwise you shall have to make another appointment, “ “ that won’t be necessary. Thank you for your time, “

With that she smiled warmly, grabbed his card, and out the front door they went. She knew Matt was hesitant and she took him to their favorite coffee shop around the corner down a few blocks. As they ordered and sat upon the soft plush chairs of the cafe, she reached over and placed hand upon his own gently squeezing him, “ I know that is not your level of interest, Matthew, “ clearing her throat she tilted her head as he listened to the hair dropping from her shoulders, “ if it is not a place you would feel comfortable, I don’t wish us to take it. But it is definitely the best option out of our list today. That doesn’t mean we can’t look for the rest of the week. “

With a shake of his head he reached up pulling her close to him and placing a gentle kiss upon her lips. Her heart skipping a beat every time he surprised her in such a way. A soft moan escaped her lips as he pulled away, “ Elektra your happiness is my own. If that is the place you wish to have, then it’s the place we shall call our own. I’m blind remember, what does it matter to me? “ he chuckled lightly as he brushed his thumb down and across her lower lip.

A faint smile as she returned the favor with her hand gently at the side of his face, “ you are too good for this world Matthew Murdock. I do not deserve you. But in my blessed state of calling you my own, let’s sign those papers so we can break in that new shower. I’m dying to test it out, “ she laughed out as he shook his head and crashed his lips against hers one more time.

The coffee they ordered was placed upon the table before them as she thanked the waiter. Lifting the cup to her lips she blew the hot air away slowly and downed a few sips. The warmth filling her soul and causing more goosebumps to raise on her skin.

Matt sat simply taking in everything around him, she was, simply put, his world.

[keanureevesisbae]

But professor… - c.8

Summary: Walter and Penny adapt to Maryland

Professor!Walter Marshall x Penny Townsend (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: None

Masterlist // But professor… masterlist // Previous chapter //

Tomorrow Walter and I are going to move to Maryland and there is just one more thing I need to do: buy some snacks. My cravings have been all over the place recently, so a trip without snack is asking for trouble. Walter is packing the final things with my mom and dad and in a minute they are going to put everything in the truck and U-haul. Since I’m the only one that knows what I really want, I decided to go on a little grocery store trip.

I’m wearing an oversized sweater on top of my leggings and it’s almost the only piece of clothing that is able to hide the bump. I’m seventeen weeks pregnant now, meaning the bump is harder and harder to hide, however this sweater will do. The chances of me running into someone I actually know is next to zero, but better be safe than sorry.

I walk into the grocery store and grab a basket, slowly filling it with what I want. ‘There she is,’ I hear a voice say, one I haven’t heard in so long and certainly haven’t missed.

Fitzgerald.

Every hair in my neck stands up straight. I simply pull my lips into an awkward smile, before walking off to the register. As I’m scanning the products, he actually follows me and I hate how this guy never understands the message, spoken or unspoken.

‘So, you haven’t been coming to classes,’ he says.

‘I know,’ I say, ‘I quit. Been looking into some other things.’

That is already more than I actually wanted to share with him, but hopefully it’s enough to make him go away.

‘Oh really? What you been looking into?’

Just fuck off, Fitzgerald. ‘First of all moving back home,’ I say, packing everything in my bag. ‘New York never really was the place for me.’ After paying for my snacks, I walk out of the store, only to hear the footsteps of the guy who just won’t leave me alone following behind me.

‘Did you hear that professor Marshall is quitting?’

Yes, I actually helped him writing his resignation letter. ‘Oh,’ I say, ‘I didn’t.’

‘Apparently he got a job offer somewhere else.’

Yep, in Maryland. ‘Good for him,’ I say. ‘Well, I gotta go. Bye, Fitzgerald.’

He wants to say something, but then his eyes widen. ‘Yeah, bye,’ he says. He quickly turns around and is gone by the time I looked over my shoulder at him.

What was that about?

When I look up, I glare at Walter, who is standing on the other side of the road, leaning against a street light, his arms crossed. I walk up to him and without saying a word at first, we get mixed into the crowd. ‘What was that about?’ I ask him.

‘Nothing,’ he says, a little too nonchalant for my liking, ‘just wanted to make sure that you weren’t carrying anything too heavy.’ He pulls the bags from my hands and adds: ‘I hate that snotty kid.’

‘I had everything under control,’ I say, poking his side. ‘Did you see him scooting away?’

‘I wish I had it on video,’ Walter chuckles.

My parents are already in the U-haul they rented to make moving as quickly and easy as possible for us and I hand them some snacks.

‘Oh, honey, I’m so glad you’re moving back,’ mom says, after our final pee. Walter just handed over the key to the realtor of his loft and stands behind me, before he says: ‘I know I am happy to move to Maryland. I quite love the place already.’ He presses a kiss on my temple.

My parents get in the U-haul and I wave to them as they drive off. Walter helps me in the truck and when he sits next to me, he gives me a kiss. ‘I love you,’ he tells me.

‘I love you too, Walter.’ I take off my sweater, before strapping myself in the seatbelt. ‘It’s ridiculously hot in here,’ I say, leaning back against the seat.

‘Twenty bucks you are gonna be cold within half an hour.’

I glare at him. ‘That’s mean.’

‘Ah, princess, don’t pout. You know how that makes me weak.’ I continue to tut my bottom lip out and he chuckles. ‘Let’s just hope the baby doesn’t get your pout, because otherwise I can never say no.’

‘No matter what the baby looks like,’ I say, ‘you’re gonna be unable to say no anyway. You are such a push over with me, this baby will wrap you around their finger in no time.’

‘Ai, exposed.’ He holds my hand in his as he drives off and gives me a kiss on my knuckles.

‘You thought about the co sleeping thing I mentioned to you?’ I ask him.

He sighs. ‘Yes and I’m not sure about it. I mean, we could place a crib in our room, right?’

‘But that’s so sad for the baby. To be alone like that after living inside my stomach for so long. What if they don’t be to be alone? They are not gonna sleep in our bed forever, Walter.’

‘I know,’ he says, ‘but… what if I crush them? I mean, they would be in between us, so… That means no sleep for me.’

I start to laugh. ‘That was your worry? Oh, Walter.’ Since I’m already close to him, I wrap my arms around his neck to give him a kiss on his cheek. ‘Aren’t you absolutely darling?’

I actually spot a faint blush on his cheeks.

I decide not to push it any further, because I feel like this co sleep thing is something that needs to simmer for awhile. ‘Can I ask a question?’ I ask.

He nods. ‘Of course.’

‘What if something goes wrong,’ I start, but he is having none of it.

‘No, no, no, nothing is gonna go wrong.’

‘But what if?’ I say. ‘I mean, something could go wrong during birth.’

He clenches his jaw, not wanting to talk about it obviously. ‘I see,’ he mumbles.

‘What I wanted to say was that if I am unable to answer, that you should decide what happens, okay? I’m one hundred percent sure you are going to choose the right thing for us.’

He smiles. ‘That’s what you wanted to tell me?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh, princess, princess, don’t scare me like that, okay?’

I smile. ‘Sorry.’

✎ ✎ ✎

Walter and I bought a house and never in a million years did I expect to have this type of domestic life at only twenty one, however it’s exactly the life I have now and I wouldn’t change it for the world. The move from New York and Maryland went pretty swiftly, especially because my parents helped a lot, since it’s only twenty minutes from my parents’ place.

The place we chose was already pretty great, but Walter and I decided—okay, I decided—that some wallpaper should cheer it up. It was a lot of white and it made me feel like I was at a dentist. There’s lots of pastel going on now, mint green, baby blue, soft pink and some yellow.

However, Walter did all the work, because he doesn’t want me to do anything. Too much work can’t be good for the baby, princess.

He now works at the Maryland Police Department and he is actually enjoying it a lot. He now is on patrol duties, but it will only take a few months before he is back as a detective again.

Weeks have gone by and today marks me being twenty seven weeks pregnant. I won’t lie about it, but I’m very over this pregnancy already. Everything hurts. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, my boobs hurts and don’t get me started on my back. I’m mostly sitting on the couch, reading both informative books and novels if I’m not mindlessly watching Netflix shows.

I am a horrendous cook, but I continue to try some things for Walter, because I hate it that he has to both work and cook himself some dinner when he’s off.

Walter comes back from work and smiles when he sees me. ‘There is my beautiful woman,’ he says. ‘Princess, princess, aren’t you gorgeous.’

‘Stop,’ I chuckle, trying to get up from the couch, but fail miserably. ‘I’m sorry, but dinner got burned.’

He smiles. ‘That’s okay, princess. I’ll order some take out, don’t you worry.’

‘I’m really useless,’ I admit. ‘I’m so sorry.’

He scoffs. ‘Don’t say stuff like that. You’re never useless.’ He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his side. ‘Tell me what did you do today?’

‘I went to that meeting,’ I say, ‘talked about being a first time mom. It’s just that…’ I place my head against his shoulder. ‘I’m scared.’

‘Why is that, princess?’

‘What if I’m a terrible mom?’

‘You’re not gonna be a terrible mom,’ he retorts. ‘The audacity to think you’re gonna be a terrible mom, when I know that you are nothing but sweet, kind, lovely and you will be a wonderful mom.’

‘Really?’ I ask.

‘Really, darling.’ He places his hand on my stomach and says: ‘It’s okay to be scared, however, you have nothing to worry about. Not when I am right here for the two of you.’

✎ ✎ ✎

The next day, while my mom and I are folding some baby clothes, we watch dad and Walter finish the crib. Mom has been sharing embarrassing baby stories about me and to make things even worse, my dad adds a few stories to it, some I didn’t even know.

Thankfully Walter really enjoys them, because he chuckles loudly. It took him awhile, but he is really liking it, having my parents around.

‘You really don’t want to know the gender?’ mom asks me.

‘No,’ I say, ‘I like to be surprised.’

‘Walter,’ my mom sighs, ‘can’t you talk some sense into her?’

‘Sorry, CC,’ he says, ‘but I kinda like the surprise too.’

She scoffs, before she lets out a chuckle. The baby already made the bond between my parents and I a lot tighter and for that I’m forever grateful.

I resit a little and Walter wouldn’t be Walter if he didn’t notice immediately I was slightly uncomfortable. ‘Princess, are you okay?’

‘Yeah, just my back hurts.’

‘How about you go to bed?’ Walter suggests. ‘Rest a little? You’ve been up pretty early on.’ When I don’t stand up immediately, he walks over to me and crouches down in front of me. ‘What’s wrong, princess?’

‘Nothing, just tired and in pain, that’s all.’

He nods, pulls me up and holds my hand tightly in his. I want to apologize to my parents, but my mom simply tells me not to worry. ‘Pregnancy can be rough, darling,’ she says, ‘so please don’t worry.’

I wonder if it’s hard for my mom to see me pregnant, when she couldn’t get pregnant herself. She never said it to me, but still I wonder from time to time. Even if she does have some hard feelings against it, she never shows it, as she is super supportive of the pregnancy. I give her a kiss, just like I give my dad a kiss and mom says: ‘Walter, did you even sleep last night?’

‘No, this one woke me up,’ he says with a smile.

‘You should sleep as well. You had a late shift the day before yesterday and you two should get a lot of sleep when you can. When the baby is here, she’ll keep you up.’

‘We really don’t know the gender, mom,’ I say with a chuckle. ‘I don’t know if they are gonna be a he or a she.’

‘Worth a shot, you gotta give me that. Okay, you go rest, we finish up in here and let ourselves out. We love you.’

‘Love you too,’ I say back, before Walter and I walk towards the bedroom. He helps me out of my sweatpants and into the bed. I hug the pregnancy pillow, and the bed dips down a bit when Walter gets underneath the thin blanket behind me. He places his hand on my stomach, before kissing my temple. ‘You comfortable, sweetheart?’

‘I am,’ I whisper. ‘I’m sorry I’m keeping you up.’

‘No, don’t do that.’

It only causes me to sniffle, but Walter knows exactly what to do when I have these slight emotional outbursts. He pulls my back closer against his chest, despite him being very warm, he tugs the blankets over our bodies and warms me up even more, giving me more kisses on the side of my face. ‘It can get pretty rough, princess,’ he says, ‘and that’s okay. Just let it all out, okay?’

‘Why are you so sweet?’ I hiccup.

He chuckles. ‘Well, you’re gonna be the mom of our kid and you’re my girlfriend. Of course I’m gonna be sweet to you. Forever and ever, princess. Forever and ever.’

[swashbucklery]

mona/nora/ava girls' night/slumber party shenanigans GO!! (with optional sara lance)

OH MY GOD THE SOFTEST

So I was thinking about this and struggling a little bit, bc I feel like Ava is in principle okay with being poly but she just breaks out into an anxious rash when she thinks about like, actually doing anything sexual with anyone else. She loves her Sara okay, she loves her so much she just wants to sit with her one girlfriend in her impressively large split-level loft condo and have slow vanilla sex with some scented candles and soft strummy girl music playing and she’s embarrassed about it, because she wants to be a cool girl who’s into cool stuff but she just needs everything to be extra super normal for a few months, first.

(This is obviously like - leaving aside the part where she and Sara are super kinky so I think she gets over normal pretty fast, but it’s important to her at the start.)

So it’s not - like she doesn’t actually start dating anyone.

But Mona and Nora are dating, and they’re the softest cutest girlfriends around Ava can’t believe it.

Not that Ava thought much about Nora Darhk: Noted Time Criminal before. Bu when she did, she definitely didn’t think of Nora blushing or giggling anywhere near as much as she does when she’s with Mona.

They just - they read romance novels together, and they definitely read the sexy parts over each other’s shoulders cuddled up on the couch and then hook up about it. Mona brings Nora snacks and teaches her how to cook and it’s honestly the cutest thing. They hold hands but only in private or around Ava and sometimes when she thinks nobody’s watching, Nora just looks so happy she might burst.

Ava feels an answering swell in her heart; she’s got that with Sara and she’s so happy that Nora and Mona can have it, too.

Ava comes over one evening for girl’s night and Nora’s all dressed up in a pink apron with fake sunflowers hot-glued into the front pocket and they’re filling dumplings together, that’s the whole party, Ava you made it it’s dumpling girls night COME HERE GET AN APRON.

So it’s mostly just like.

Having friends.

Ava feels like she’s had friends before, but most of those were from the time that wasn’t real. Mona and Nora are kind of the first friends she has that are hers, not Sara’s friends, and she sort of loves them both just for that.

But it’s also a little more, is the thing. Because Mona and Nora - there’s a lot of service, a lot of nonsexual little things that are intimate and tender that they do for each other and sometimes it’s stuff normal friends do, but other times it makes Ava feel a little bit like she’s intruding.

Mona offers to paint Nora’s toenails one night - jet black, although she can’t resist putting a little star on each of her big toes in glow-in-the-dark polish - and Ava’s there. And it’s not - like it’s not sexual toe-painting, nobody’s aroused by anyone’s feet, but there’s an intimacy to the way they connect that feels sacred.

Nora who spent so long not being touched and not having casual connections and when Mona does things like this with her she gets sort of shy and blushes all the way to her ears.

She whispers thank you in this reverent sort of voice and Mona kisses her and sits on her lap, cuddles you’re welcome into the side of Nora’s throat and Ava feels like she should leave. This is - it’s fine, she doesn’t need to be here, this is clearly private, it’s -

But then they both turn to look at her and ask if she wants her toes painted too and it feels to Ava the way Nora looks: impossibly soft, impossibly personal.

But she does it.

And afterwards she maybe needs a hug and can’t quite figure out why but Mona and Nora are there already, cuddling her close. Nora’s offering her a snack and Mona’s suggesting that they watch a movie about penguins and it’s kind of the softest Ava’s felt in a long, long while.

Nora and Mona each taking a side and giving Ava twin French braids down the back of her head, and Ava who is just so soft and kind of melty about it that she needs to lie down with her head in Nora’s lap, afterwards.

So they sort of settle into this pattern of - like they call them girls nights and that’s technically not wrong but they’re sort of more than that. They’re sort of this, these three mostly indulging in deep level cuddly intimacy and very occasionally canoodling about it, and they’re soft and they’re tender and it’s everything not-normal that Ava didn’t know she wanted.

[brainy-storm]

S414 - ‘EL MAYARAH’ HEALED MY HEART (2/2 aka Karadox Edition)

Well, hello, hello, ladies, gentleman and esteemed NBs. We are gathered here today to witness me, a karadox fan who is too deep, commentate on and (over)analyse the happenings of that delicious episode that is Supergirl 4x14 Stand and Deliver. In the proceeding post, I will be going through many, many frames. So hold on to your dashes cause this is gonna be a hecka long post. 

Warning: Again, LONG LONG post. 95 screenshots, guys. I recommend reading this on a computer. MUCH karadox. Including Brainy’s amazing speech, ofc . And the amazingness that was Kara Zor El. 

Now, my friends. Where to start? What’s this? You wanted to go to the hand holding? We shall get there in due time. For now let us go start earlier at the 7:11 timestamp that I have. In which Brainy gets given -

The Letter

This is Querl Dox aka Brainy. His eyebrows furrowed as one of their DEO targets was captured. I might say, he’s cautious about what this letter might be. Who knows? It could have been a threat that Menagerie or The Elite might have wanted to pass on.

Nah, it’s a note from Supergirl, and it made him smile.

I mean, it’s a very cute-looking note (I love Kara’s handwriting, mine’s a mess). She could’ve just written ‘from Supergirl’ but nah, gotta draw that logo in. Love it. Go Kara!

“Supergirl left us a present, and a note.” Brainy whips this note from behind his back. He can’t just bring the note normally. No, he’s gotta whip it out like ‘surprise b*tch’. He not only likes to show off in front of Kara, but also likes to show off in Kara’s stead.  

“Says: you’re welcome.” Brainy looks like he’s trying to return to a neutral expression here, but his tone didn’t quite hide his smugness. And throughout this scene he still looks like he wants to keep smirking.

Now, we know that Brainy’s on Kara’s side. He’s part of the super-friends, of course. I’m pretty sure that Brainy’s supposed to at least pretend he’s backing the DEO fully. But he can’t help himself from celebrating a victory for Supergirl. His loyalty is always towards Kara, and I like how they keep this consistent even if (well, especially) Kara’s not around.

Alright, now it’s time for Kara to finally interact properly with -

Brainy!

“Brainy!” says Kara. What does that mean? Nothing much, she just turned around when she saw heard the door open and saw Brainy. But after several episodes of no proper interaction, it’s nice to hear her say his name. Yeah, yeah, I squealed, this is how deprived we were.

And then, unprompted, immediately after saying his name, she walks over to stand next to him. Must...not...overanalyse...must....resist....can’t --- AIGHT look she moved next to him. Didn’t need to. Nia’s not moving. Brainy wasn’t talking to her yet. Might one say she subconsciously feels comfortable being next to Brainy?! MIGHT ONE --- okay fine, I’m reaching, I’ll stop. But go on. Rewatch the clip. 23:10 is the timestamp. 

Oh yes, this is probably why they wanted Kara to move. To get this angle specifically and reaffirm the #SpouseEnergy radiating of these two. Exasperated dad and amused mum. Look at it. Breathe it in. Rejoice.  

Oh, this is just to compliment Melisa Benoist and Jesse Rath, just cause they move super in sync here, almost like you’d see in a cartoon/anime and I just found it pleasing. Moving on.

Alright, the next screencap is where Brainy thinks he’ll never see his ring again and is understandably in a bit of a shock. He looks at Nia and then Kara, then back at J’onn. Kara looks down before looking at Brainy.

Okay, you get the point. If it looks like Kara’s getting closer to Brainy every screenshot, it’s just cause the camera angle is shifting, by the way. Although, if you watch the clip, she is shifting her weight back and forth between her feet, throughtout this whole moment, which I didn’t notice until taking these screenshots, which is some very nice subtle acting from Benoist.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is the first time Kara has seen Brainy when he’s emotionally vulnerable (onscreen, at least lol). She wasn’t there when he was rattled by the hatred he got when his image inducer didn’t work (Alex was there). She didn’t see him cry and didn’t hear him talking about his tears of logic (Lena was there). And when he just lost his ring, she wasn’t really there either (Nia was there). Anyway, she and the others are visibly unhappy when Brainy is unhappy. Even as part of a group shot it’s nice to see it, finally. It only lasts a little while anyway, because Brainy swiftly changes the subject. 

It’s like an appetizer to the emotional main course we’re getting right after. For that moment when our beloved Brainy says -

El Mayarah - (IT’S GO TIME PEOPLE)

“Ah...yes, it’s the march today...will you all be joining?” He finishes that sentence, looking at Kara. Because we know who he wants to go most.  Ahem *cough, cough*.

@fairyroses pointed out that here, after J’onn has said he’ll be there and Brainy proceeds to say ‘Wonderful! ..Kara?’ That this might be the first time Brainy addresses Kara directly as ‘Kara’ when speaking to her. As in usually he’s like ‘Supergirl, we need to....’ etc. Which is strange considering we’ve been shown that he’s close enough to hang out and watch movies at the loft with her and Alex (pre-mind-wipe) but nope we haven’t had an onscreen ‘Kara’. I tried finding one to no avail. So this must be it, then. 

Also, look at that raised eye-brow right here. He’s so excited, bless.

‘Yes, I definitely think we should be there’ - 

‘HUZZAH’. -- Yep, Brainy is happy that they’re going. Look how excited he is.

With the same energy from 4x01 where Kara says ‘nice work, Brainy’. 

Okay, again, look how happy Brainy is. And he’s just looking at Kara with that smile. My actual heart eeeek.

And then his confusion when he realises that she didn’t mean that she was going to march with him. Complete confusion.

‘Uh..’

‘Kara...a..’ (SECOND KARA)

‘A word’ He looks shook the whole time.

He takes a while to actually start talking to her. He looks down again, back at her as if he’s about to start talking about then away again for a tiny moment. (also whoops got that screenshot mid when he’s licking his lips. Was an accident but...you’re welcome.) I wonder how many thought tracks he’s using to try and get the correct words to talk to Kara about this, because there seems to be some hesitation there.

‘I think it would mean a lot to have Supegirl march today’ - So more obviously I think Brainy says that as a sense that the aliens attending would feel more strengthened by her marching, and of course that everyone could see who Supergirl stood with. But of course, I think he also means this, as in personally, since this is the march, that he organised. 

“I wish I could, Brainy, but I think it’s more important for me to patrol. In case anything gets out of hand.”

Kara’s genuinely sorry here, and that glint on her glasses makes her seem even more remorseful (yay angles), and I like how she makes it clear that she wants to support Brainy and the march, but is putting her duty to protect as Supergirl first.

“They won’t. I am American Alien. Hash-tag, American Alien.”

So, Brainy didn’t feel the need to tell the others that he himself organised the march. I think he assumed they would all be up for going, without saying. He reveals this now, to reassure Kara that as the organiser, he would be able to keep things under control. I also like how confident he is here, with his ‘they won’t’. 

“You..you organised it?” - and now it’s Kara’s turn to be surprised. 

“When I lost my Legion ring, I realised how much I depended on it for strength and confidence. I thought it was what made me a hero.” Oooof there you go, there’s that vulnerability that Kara has not been shown to have seen before.  “But not having it these past few days made me see, it wasn’t the ring that gave me strength.” 

“It was fighting.” *breathe* “alongside all of you.” - @kara-querl mentioned that she thinks that Brainy wanted to just ‘alongside you’ at first, but changed his mind. Which I could totally believe. But I also think he might be remembering fighting as a Legionnaire back home as well. 

I think a reason why we didn’t see his realisation is that 1. well, airtime 2. He’s been showing that he gains strength from fighting alongside others over the past few episodes. That’s why he was so adamant on getting together a superhero team - trying to convince Nia to join them when the DEO fired Supergirl, and then being more eager about it after Alex’s mindwipe. Going to J’onn with money to try and get him to join their team. He wanted to gain their strength for Kara, but he also needed their strength too.

“helping to make the Earth a better place.” Oof and look at Kara’s face. I think she’s getting just as emotional over this as we are. I also love how she just listens to Brainy. She doesn’t interrupt or even try to, which is excellent. Pefect communication skills. 

“In times like this change won’t come from someone with a Ring, or a cape. It will only come when each one of us answers the call to stand up and be heard” Brainy is not asking for Supergirl, the symbol and is not going as Brainiac 5, the legionnaire. He wants them to go, purely as themselves.

“El Mayarah” - OKAY CUE ME LOSING MY SH*T RIGHT HERE. especially after making that post about wanting inside codes/jokes in Kryptonian for them, I’M   He uses Kryptonian, trying to convince her and not any old plain Kryptonian but her god dang House of El family motto. This is not about just trying to convince Supergirl, this is trying to convince Kara Zor El. 

So Kara has been listening carefully and holding eye contact with Brainy this whole time (thank you), and when he says ‘El Mayarah’ she looks down immediately. How long has it been since she’s been specifically an El? A while. And even though she loves being Kara Danvers, and that’s who she is with Alex right now, Alex doesn’t know the Kara who she first met, the one she first met as Kara Zor El. 

“Stronger together.” I love love love how he reiterates this 1. cause lol I’m sure a lot of viewers forgot what it meant 2. He just says the meaning again in the language of Earth, the one sh’es adopted, calls home, and is trying to protect. 

And here Brainy follows her eyeline when she looks down, coaxing it back up as he says ‘stronger together’. I’M SOFT.

He takes another breath and breaks eye-contact and looks away. Yup, that was a lot. A lot of emotion right there. He needs a break. I need a break.  [we’re just about to hit screenshot 40 WOW I do need a break]

I like how Kara’s still looking at him, nice. Thanks. Also Nia just streching in the background, not interuppting yet. Dad and Mum are having a Serious conversation, gotta keep busy and not make eye contact, duh.

“Just because we’re superheroes, doesn’t mean we forget who we are.” - Beautiful. What a beautiful speech. Brainy always seems to be there to help remind Kara of what’s important. 3x10 - with her as Kara Danvers, and now 4x14 with her as Kara Zor El. He’s there to support her not only as the hero, Supergirl, but all sides of herself, all sides of Kara. 

She takes a breath here, and I think she’s definitely conflicted . She follows with a , I’m sorry Brainy...the risk is too great.”

BRAINY DOES A LITTLE TINY SHAKE OF HIS HEAD. Like he has more eto say but is also still shocked. And then Nia says she’s ready.

(OKAY YOU GUYS TOOK SO LONG. CAN WE GO PLAY PATROL NOW? PLEASEEE?)

And here Brainy is still in disbelief and worried, like look at this face and oh my god  --- I took this screenshot and then just had to replay the clip - HE’S FIDDLING WITH HIS FINGER WHERE HIS LEGION RING USUALLY IS. THE THING HE DOES WHEN HE’s FEELING ANXIOUS. Lord help me, I’m done.

“Supergirl may be a symbol...” -- ooof they look so pretty there. 

“but more importantly, she’s a citizen of Earth. Like the rest of us”. And he does this little shoulder raise at ‘like the rest of us’...my heart. He’s trying to appeal to her as people who both are not from Earth, but call Earth their home. [sidenote: ohoho ARE YOU EXILED FROM COLU, HUH BRAINY? IS THAT REBOOT BACKSTORY,  I HEAR? sorry, moving on] 

Another long pause before the “Remember that” --- ahhh he still looks so soft, end me. 

NOPE. NOW I’M DONEKARA’S FACE AS SHE WATCHES HIM LEAVE. SHE’S SHAKEN BY THE SPEECH AND I THINK SAD THAT SHE’S LETTING BRAINY DOWN. AND HERSELF DOWN AS A CITIZEN OF EARTH. 

Phew. That was long. A long but beautiful secton. ALRIGHT. LET’S KEEP GOING, SHALL WE? LET’S HEAD OVER TO -

THE MARCH -- IT’S TIMEEE

“They’re not like you - you’re a superhero.” --- I’m starting here because I think it’s important that he doesn’t say ‘you’re Supergirl’ he says ‘you’re a superhero’, because Brainy’s whole speech’s bottom line was  “Just because we’re superheroes, doesn’t mean we forget who we are.” That they’re not just superheroes.

And I think here, she fully understands what Brainy meant.

“No, you’re wrong, I am just like them.” --- so in otherwords, she’s a superhero but more importantly she’s a Citizen of Earth, just like them. This episode is not just great for karadox but great for Kara’s character development because her identity as Supergirl was so at stake, that she’s put that above all else and now she remembers what she needs to be doing. I’M SO PROUD. Rip rewatching this part made me a bit teary wow what is this. KARA I LOVE YOU.

Hmm...is Brainy the first one to look up? MAYBE SO. im not sure but shh 

THERE SHE ISSS. SHE.

Everyone’s in awe.Also, Brainy’s fingers are steepled here, when they weren’t before. (Excitement? Perhaps? idk, hm) 

AWE I SAY. AWE.

“Supergirl.” HE’S HAPPY. LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT HIM. AHHHH.

“It’s Kara Zor-El.” KARA ZOR EL OF THE HOUSE OF EL. WITH HER GOD DANG ROBES. ‘ In times like this change won’t come from someone with a Ring, or a cape.’ -- SO SHE CAME AS HERSELF. 

“Citizen of Earth” - Just to reiterate -- ‘ more importantly she’s a Citizen of Earth’. She says this. While maintaining eye contact with Brainy the whole time she lands and joins the march. His speech helped her make this decision directly, and she’s letting him know that it did. Her smile in this screenshot and the one above. HER SMILE. BLESS KARA.

And now J’onn says ‘nice to have you with us’ - and they automatically hold hands. Oof and my heart, Papa J’onn. The father figure we all deserve. And...ohhhhH...hmm see Brainy is still holding his hands in position and maybe they made him do that...

To make it clear that it wasn’t automatic. So that Kara has to offer her his hand. Look at her smile. He’s still just looking straight at her. ALSO LOL J’ONN IS LOOKING. HE SEES.

AHAHA LOOK AT BRAINY JUST STARING DOWN. ‘oh yes, I should...hold the hand’. And kara’s smile like ‘yes, yes, it’s okay’. AND LOOK J’ONN IS SMILING AGAIN AHA.  He  ships it is proud too. hmm I wonder if J’onn was secretly listening to their convo the whole time...or hm maybe Brainy voiced how he felt that Kara wasn’t coming to the march to J’onn before it started.  I gots to know

THERE

IT

IS.

alksdjaslkjdalsjdlaskdjlaksjd

wow wow wow wow wow 

STRONGER TOGETHER INDEED.

1. the alien march is stronger together

2. MY SHIP IS SO STRONGER TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER TO BE THEIR BEST SELVES.

Brainy takes his hand and Kara tightens the hold on it. THANK YOu. THANK YOU.

See, the reason they gave this close up, I think,  is to

1.  reaffirm the themes of togetherness in this episode

2. FEED ME THAT GOOD KARADOX FOOD THAT I ORDERED.

Kara is just taking a breath here but lol I still laugh at how much it looks like the Distracted Boyfriend meme. 

“Thank you.” *turns to Kara* “Both”. So much direct eye contact this episode.

THIS IS THE PUREST OF SMILES. KARA. SMILING AT BRAINY THANKING HER. WHO IS HAPPY TO BE HERE TOGETHER IN THE MARCH. PURE. MY SHIP IS PURE.

And you can’t see it well, or much at all, until she turns but he was smiling too, even if it’s not that clear.

And off they go, to confront Lockwood at -

The Rally

A bottle is thrown over their heads.

“Stay peaceful! - Brainy. Kara is shaken, by the looks of it. And Brainy just instinctively holds his hand out to Kara this time.

Takes a moment after he holds her hand...then...

“Don’t stoop to his level.” - again, supporting each other. He takes her hand this time.

BLESS THIS EPISODE.

So here they’re looking at the people who were here supporting Lockwood and I love how Brainy just looks them straight on. Kara’s also maintaining eye contact in the face of aggression. 

The Fight

“Hologram!”

“Then where’s the real Manchester?”

Okay, so I just like how they can switch so quickly to get into the fight. Superhero mode starts exactly now. And just look how smoothly they go about it. I love them. 

So here, she says she’s gonna go find Hat.

“Hello, Hat, we meet again.”

*insert fightscene that you can see giffed by @fairyroses here http://fairyroses.tumblr.com/post/183443782018*

“You don’t need a ring, when you have friends.” Throwback to how he gets his strength from fighting alongside the team.

“So where are your friends now?” - jinxed yourself, mate.

Kara literally is only a blur in this scene. And lmao Brainy catches the hat, which I did not realise till I saw the gifset. I’ve included @fairyroses tags here because she says it all and I literally can’t take any credit for noticing this lol. Bless you.

“Nice work, Brainy.” - I am fed well with all the times she has said Brainy today. Compliments today too.

“Now get him to the DEO.” - LOOKING GOOD BRAINY.

“Then help me get as many of these people to safety as you can.” Menagerie was brought in my the team sans Brainy, and now Brainy and Kara are taking down Hat together. I like how she says then help me. Just another confirmation of yes, you are on my team, even if you’re going back to the DEO for a tiny bit for the delivery. Again, stronger together.

“And this was from the time me and your mum took down a villain named Hat together” - is not something that was said, but is going in my future headcanon, thanks.

And yep, that’s the beautoful end of the karadox interactions of this episode, time that I start -

Wrapping it Up

Shh, yes I have more to say, bear with me.

“I know that Supergirl and I have not been on the same page lately, but you know, seeing her out there in that march, hand in hand with everybody else,I was inspired.” - so  ‘I think it would mean a lot to have Supegirl march today’  ---- Turns out it also meant inspiring Alex to take action too. Brainy’s speech being the root of convincing Kara and Kara taking that stand. directly inspired by Brainy grabbing Kara’s hand that second time, kthx

“Yeah.” - Kara agrees, and then makes a funny joke about roughing Ben lockwood up lol. She did tho.

“No, *laughs* no, you know I followed my beliefs, not the rules..and it felt really good to take a moral stance.”

“Yeah, I think everyone at the march felt that way.” - Kara was glad to have gone to the march and she felt better for it. Oof look at that smile. Look at how good she thought the march was.

“It just goes to show to show, no matter who you are. Alien, human, superhero. Every action counts. And every voice matters.” ---- again, throwing back to Brainy’s speech. 

“In times like this change won’t come from someone with a Ring, or a cape.  It will only come when each one of us answers the call to stand up and be heard”. 

So everything ties together nicely, in -

THE END

Thanks for bearing with me, which I assume you have if you’re all the way down here. 

To summarise: 

Brainy and Kara make an excellent team and they both are each others’ strengths, and help each other grow. They are stronger together.

[carmenlire]

Oh jesus, I sure would cry if SOMEONE, like my FAVOURITE author *cough* you *cough*, would write a christmas prompt for my birthday that's coincidentally on DECEMBER 12TH, 12 days before CHRISTMAS, I'm just thinking out loud here

It is midnight in Germany so Happy 18th Birthday Julia!!! You are so amazing and I am so glad that we are friends and I just want you to know that you’re super lovely and I am so happy to have you in my life

read on ao3

“And what are we supposed to be doing here?”

Sighing exasperatedly, Magnus wraps his scarf around his neck. It’s a little hideous– a mishmash of patterns and swirling colors courtesy of Madzie– but it was a gift and Magnus makes it work, wearing an austere black coat to really let the riot of colors pop.

He meets Alec’s eyes in the mirror. “We’re going to the Christmas Fair downtown. We’re supposed to be having fun. Nothing serious, no business or worry of demonic sightings.”

Turning around, he takes the few steps over to Alec, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “We’ll browse around the shopping booths and eat something sweet and freeze our asses off.”

Alec smiles and leans in to kiss him only to pull back abruptly. “You have different chap stick on,” he says accusingly.

“Peppermint,” Magnus confirms, placing a smacking kiss on Alec’s cheek and trying not to coo and the vaguely disgusted look Alec throws him. “I thought it only appropriate. Tis the season, after all.”

Alec shakes his head but he’s hiding a smile. Magnus will take it as a win.

The two of them leave the loft and Magnus doesn’t try to hide his smile when Alec immediately reaches over and grabs his hand, thumb sweeping over his palm. They take the subway– yes, Alexander, I was taking the subway before your grandfather was even born– and get off at the stop that leads to Midtown Manhattan, close to Rockefeller Center. It’s two weeks before Christmas and the sidewalks are jam-packed with tourists and stressed shoppers.

Magnus doesn’t mind, though. There’s something about the very air in December that’s achingly sentimental. While he’s never been one to practice Christianity, Christmas is something that he’s celebrated for the past couple centuries, ever since he first landed in Europe.

Still, New York City at Christmastime is another beast altogether. They pass a dozen vendors selling Christmas trees and Magnus is paying far more attention to Alec than he is to his surroundings.

Doing his best to keep his fondness under wraps, Magnus internally rolls his eyes at Alec’s expression. He’s trying to look unaffected at the crowd of people and the miles of lights and garland and decorations. They’re rounding the corner when Alec stops in his tracks and Magnus grins as Alec’s eyes light up.

“Still aren’t sure what you’re supposed to do,” Magnus teases.

Alec doesn’t even spare him a glance as he takes in the crowds of people milling about in barely organized chaos. This Christmas Fair has been going on in the city every December 12th for over a hundred years and it’s gained quite a following.

Families are milling about, kids racing by with cookies and toys. Magnus looks around and breathes in the scent of balsam and toasted marshmallow and feels something settle into place.

For the millionth time, he wonders at how Christmas could be so much more than a simple day.

He startles, though, as Alec pulls him toward the closest booth.

“Are you looking for anything in particular,” Alec absently asks, paying close attention to the boxes of artisan chocolates on display.

Humming, Magnus thinks for a minute before shaking his head. “Not really, I’m afraid. I usually end up buying whatever catches my eye. What about you?”

He eyes a box of peppermint bark, debating, while he waits for Alec’s answer.

No,” Alec finally says. “You know that we don’t really celebrate Christmas. While I know more than other shadowhunters, I can still be pretty clueless. Izzy, Jace, and I usually exchanged gifts and snuck out of the Institute to eat dinner but that’s about it.”

“I still don’t know how even shadowhunters keep their heads in the sand about Christmas, especially in New York. Signs of it are literally everywhere, darling.”

Alec shrugs. “You’re forgetting that we spend most of December at the Academy until we graduate. Idris has their own holidays. Though none that mean unlimited gingerbread,” Alec ends distractedly.

Magnus looks up from the chocolate and sees that Alec’s moved on to the next booth– homemade gingerbread cookies.

“I didn’t know you liked gingerbread,” he says, amused.

“It’s never come up.”

Alec looks over at him, considering, and Magnus grins as he moves on without buying the peppermint bark. Laying an arm around Alec’s back, Magnus looks between Alec and the gingerbread, bemused.

“Alexander, you’re about to start drooling.”

Glaring, Alec just asks, “Do you want one?”

Magnus makes a show of thinking before finally suggesting, tongue in cheek, “We could share one?”

He bites back his laughter at the incredulous look Alec shoots him. “I don’t share my gingerbread,” Alec says firmly.

Magnus sighs dejectedly, gently bumping his hip against his boyfriend’s. “Very well,” he says sadly. “I thought it would be romantic to share but I forgot my boyfriend is possessive over his sweets.”

“Frosting or no frosting?” Alec doesn’t even deign to acknowledge Magnus and Magnus tucks a hand into Alec’s back pocket as he murmurs, “Surprise me, darling.”

Alec pays for the cookies and immediately bites the head off his frosted gingerbread Santa, meeting Magnus’s scandalized eyes without expression. “It’s the best part,” is all he offers and Magnus laughs as he shakes his head, nudging them to keep going.

The two of them make their way through dozens of booths. There are wood cutouts and photography booths and they pass enough food vendors that Magnus starts to wonder if Alec’s stomach isn’t both bottomless and made of cast iron.

He’s long known that his boyfriend has a sweet tooth to rival the Cookie Monster’s but it’s something else entirely to see Alec in his element.

There are quite a few toy booths, and Magnus finds himself in quite a few heated debates with Alec over the best present for kids. Magnus discovers– much to his surprise– that Alec’s a fan of classic toys. Magnus himself very much prefers toys that light up and make obnoxious noises and all around look fun.

Alec, by contrast, likes toy soldiers and spinning tops and toys that look more suited to what a character in a Dickens novel would have salivated over.

As he watches Alec absolutely lose his shit at a rather terrifying Jack in the Box, Magnus wonders who their kids will take back after. He doesn’t voice the sudden direction of his thinking and he’s quietly surprised to realize that the thought doesn’t make his heart squeeze in his chest painfully. No instead, it settles something in him.

Magnus can’t help but look over at Alec– his boyfriend, perhaps even his husband one day– and see the decades unfold. He can’t think of anything more adorable than a son with Alec’s stoic mannerisms or a daughter that loves potions and cooking as much as he does.

He blames Christmas for the sudden yearning that overtakes him and clears his throat when Alec looks back up at him. “I wish I’d had something like this when I was a kid,” he says and Magnus looks at the jack-in-the-box with suspicion.

“Out of all the toys you could pick, you want something that’s meant to scare people?”

“It’s colorful and a surprise and plays music. Really, hits all the requirements for a successful children’s toy.”

Magnus just eyes the toy warily and gently but inexorably guides Alec away from the toy booth. Alec lets him with a small smile and Magnus hides his grin in Alec’s shirt when he throws an arm over his shoulder, pulling him close.

They run into a row of ornament vendors and spend quite a while looking through ornaments of all shapes and sizes and materials.

“I had fun decorating the loft with you last week.”

Magnus looks up from where he’d been mulling over a stethoscope ornament for Catarina to see Alec gently lift a glass-blown orb from its hook. Taking the stethoscope with him, Magnus wanders over to Alec, replying, “I’m glad to hear that. It was fun trimming the tree with you, darling. I usually enjoy decorating by myself with one of my jazz records and a glass of wine but maybe I just needed to find the right helper,” he teases with a grin.

Alec laughs but most of his attention is still on the ornament. Coming to stand next to Alec, Magnus takes in the script on the front and his smile widens.

“Today only, we’re offering free engraving on all ornaments,” comes a voice behind them and Magnus turns around to see one of the employees approaching them. They’re dressed in holiday cheer with red bow earrings and an elf’s hat.

“Free engraving,” Alec repeats.

Taking the ornament gently from Alec’s hands, the staff member nods. “It’s usually a dollar a word but since it’s the first day of the fair, it’s our promotion.” She takes a second to read the ornament before looking back up at them with a smile. “Are you interesting in personalizing it?”

To his surprise, Alec speaks first. “Yeah, let’s add our names to it,” he says and looks to Magnus for confirmation.

Magnus looks over at Alec and sees that Alec’s already watching him with that damned look in his eye– like all he sees is Magnus.

“I think it only right that we have a memento of our first Christmas together, don’t you,” he asks softly.

He watches Alec’s eyes light up before he’s following the vendor to the engraving station to fill out an order form.

Magnus checks out with another employee in the meantime and meets Alec at the front of the shop just a few minutes later.

“Julia said that it’ll take about an hour to finish ours and we should come back later to pick it up.”

“Julia,” Magnus asks with a raised brow. “Don’t tell me you made a friend, Alexander.”

“Shut up” Alec mutters. “She was nice and mentioned that she had bought the same ornament for her girlfriend last week.”

Smiling, Magnus doesn’t say anything and the two of them wander around the market, though Magnus’s gaze zeroes in on a booth further up the thoroughfare. He comes to a stop in line and Alec shoots him a curious smile.

“Hot chocolate?”

Magnus hums, reading over the menu. “I only drink hot chocolate in December and this particular booth has the best cup I’ve ever had– and their marshmallows are in the shape of reindeer. Do you want some?”

“No, I think I’m going to head over to the mulled wine booth across from here.”

Magnus looks up as Alec steps away from him. “You’re choosing wine over hot cocoa? Over marshmallows and enough sugar to fell an elephant? You don’t even like alcohol,” Magnus says accusingly.

Laughing, Alec takes another step back. “The only alcohol I’ve ever enjoyed is mulled red wine. With the cinnamon stick? It’s like juice that makes me want to take a nap,” he says sheepishly.

“Very well, then. Leave and go get your nap juice. I’ll just be waiting for my dessert in a mug.”

Magnus sees Alec grin before he’s turning away to get his own drink. The line for the hot chocolate is long, though, and Alec sidles up to him just as he’s placed his order.

“Back so soon,” Magnus sniffs. “Maybe that’s a sign that hot chocolate is definitely the most popular Christmas drink.”

Alec just takes a sip of his wine, humming in satisfaction.

The sun has officially set by the time they make it back to the ornament stand and pick up their purchase. Magnus shivers a little in his coat, burying his nose in his scarf a little deeper.

Alec looks adorable with a red nose and ruddy cheeks and Magnus pauses at the edges of the fair to throw away his empty cup.

Before they can continue, though, he steps up to Alec and unwinds part of his scarf around Alec’s neck. For his part, Alec stands unmoving with a faint grin.

“You know we can’t walk like this,” he says dryly.

Magnus arches a brow. “I’m getting tired of you ruining all of my romantic gestures.”

Alec huffs out a laugh as he shakes his head. “I love your romantic gestures, just not when they get in the way of my food or when they become a tripping hazard.”

“And the say romance is dead,” Magnus mutters. Before he can say anything else, Alec is kissing him. It’s lingering and soft and when it ends Magnus doesn’t want to open his eyes.

“I have to keep you on your toes somehow, babe.”

Opening his eyes, Magnus grins at Alec before unwinding the rest of his scarf and looping it around Alec’s neck, hushing his protests.

“You look like an icicle, Alexander. I won’t have you catching a cold and ruining my plans in a few days.”

“Oh? And what are these plans you have that are more important that a potentially sick boyfriend?”

Narrowing his eyes, Magnus takes his hand and they start the walk back to the subway station. “I’ll have you know that I need to wrap your presents and I can’t do that if you’re in the apartment with me, now can I?”

“I guess,” Alec sighs dramatically though his lips are twitching at the corners.

The commute back to the loft is pleasant as it can be, considering they’ve taken the subway. Magnus immediately leaves his bags by the foyer and makes his way to their bedroom, Alec right behind him.

Changing into comfortable pajamas, they return to the living room, though Magnus grows confused when Alec goes to their bags.

“Leave that, darling. We can go through everything in the morning.”

Alec doesn’t listen and after a few minutes of rummaging, he pulls out the box, going right to the tree and turning it on before placing the ornament right in the middle.

Magnus walks over to him and studies the tree. While most assumed that Magnus would have an elegant Christmas tree with a classic theme, the truth was that he loved the chaotic potential of such a statement piece. He had ornaments from friends stretching back decades and there was popcorn string and multicolored lights and tinsel. Each and every thing on the tree was a memory for Magnus and his heart clutches a little at Alec’s new addition.

“Perfect,” he says, kissing Alec with the heat of the fire at his back.

“It’s our first Christmas living together,” Alec says as he looks over the tree, the colorful lights playing over his face.

“The first of many.”

Turning to the living room proper, Magnus stops Alec when he goes to sit on the couch.

With a wave of his hand, a dozen pillows and a mountain of blankets fall to the ground in front of the couch. Alec smiles but doesn’t protest and they settle onto the floor with the fireplace below the television providing them with a little extra warmth.

“What do you want to do for the rest of the evening, babe?”

Shifting closer to Alec, Magnus lays his head on his chest. “We could watch a movie if you–”

“Rudolph?”

Magnus tilts his head up to see Alec looking at him. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear there was a pleading note in his voice.

“You want to watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? The children’s movie? With that horrendous claymation?”

Alec scoffs. “Claymation is a gift that just just keeps on giving and it’s my favorite Christmas movie,” he admits.

“I had no idea you knew any Christmas movies, let alone animated ones.”

Magnus climbs to his feet and the dvd appears in his hand. He makes his way to the tv and places the disc in the player before returning to Alec who’s delightfully warm.

“It was on the television at the restaurant we went to that first Christmas, when we snuck out.” Alec shrugs and Magnus trails a hand over his chest as he continues, “It looked fun. It was silly and that dentist elf– Hermey– was weird but endearing?”

“Well, then, let’s watch it.”

Magnus settles over Alec again, relaxing into his boyfriend as Alec’s arm wraps around him, sweeping over his back.

The watch a cheesy movie and order in takeout and share a bottle of wine.

The perfect day, Magnus thinks with a drowsy smile.

The Christmas Fair was a staple for Magnus– he’d been going since the very first one all those years ago. As he lets himself fall asleep to the sound of Alec’s breathing, Magnus knows that he’s found that missing piece that makes this time of year all the more special.

Love. Alexander.

Magnus and AlexanderOur First Christmas2018

[emotionally-imbruised]

Picture This // New Beginnings

Picture this: Meeting Harry and hitting it off despite it being a mess of a night.

As famously once sang by one of the OG couple goals, Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez; “this could be the Start of Something New.”

It’s New Year's Eve, and it’s cold. Wait, no. It’s freezing out, and you want nothing more than to stay at home in a blanket burrito while watching Netflix like any average college-aged person, but why would life be so easy? 

Unfortunately, it’s not; and you’ve been suckered into going out with your best friend for her birthday... And that means going out to a club seeing as you can both purchase alcohol legally now.

Going out can be fun, sure, but not when you’re basically drowning in assignments and preparing for tests. However, you haven’t been able to get that message through to your friend all night, and it is a continuous thought nagging at the back of your increasingly buzzed mind as she continues passing your beverage after beverage.

“You need to finish that drink now, Y/N,” your friend says and raises her eyebrows at you. The sigh that leaves your mouth is entirely audible as you glance at the last couple sips of wine left in the glass you’re holding, and quickly down it.

“Happy?” You grumble and set the glass onto the table dramatically; making sure she sees you roll your eyes. 

You’re currently sitting on the living room floor of your two’s shared loft; both of you getting drunk as you prepare to venture to one of the many London clubs for the night's festivities. However, as much as you try, the exhaustion you feel is putting up a good fight against your attempts at staying awake; and the alcohol is most definitely not in your favour as each drink makes you even more tired. 

You place your arm onto the table and gently lay your head against it; allowing your eyes to slowly flutter close. However, the moment of peace is short-lived when a soft, yet firm force collides with your head and almost knocks the empty wine glass off the table. You’re not long opening your eyes and seeing your best friend laughing as she reaches for another pillow from the couch in preparation to throw at you once again.

“Oh wow, sleeping beauty awakens,” she laughs as she notices you glaring at her.

“Mhmm,” you mutter in response; rolling your eyes again, and go to say something else but are cut off by the other pillow hitting you right in the face. Anger and annoyance boil inside of you as you narrow your gaze at her, and take a breath to calm yourself as she continues laughing hysterically. “Are you good?”

“Yes I’m fantastic,” she tells you between giggles and a couple hiccups. “But I’m getting pretty tipsy, can we go soon? I want to get there before midnight, so I can find someone to kiss.”

“Do we have to?” You groan and lean your head back. “That’s so cliché. Why don’t we just finish off that wine, and watch Netflix? Like I mean, you want me to change out of my track pants... and that’s pretty selfish of you.”

This time it’s her turn to roll her eyes, as you move your gaze back to her and smirk. “You’re honestly the worst,” she replies and shakes her head as she stands up. “It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to be selfish. Now go get ready, we’re leaving in an hour.” She doesn’t give you the chance to respond as she quickly disappears out of the room, to go get dressed. Without another choice, you take the last bit of wine that is in the bottle and chug it back before heading to your bedroom and doing the same... Not being able to ignore the thought of how this is going to be a long night.

The hour comes and goes quicker than anticipated, but you are ready nonetheless. Before leaving your bedroom, you stop in front of your full-length mirror and give yourself one final look over. Your hair is styled rather simple, but still neat enough for going out. You’ve also done your makeup the best your drunk self would allow you to do, and quickly move your gaze to your outfit. The simple black dress you’ve chosen to wear compliments your body so well, and you’ve accessorized it very nicely; you simply can’t help but admire how good you look... Maybe it’s the alcohol feeding on your self-confidence, but who really cares at this point?

With one final glance at yourself, you leave your room to meet up with your best friend in the kitchen, and gather your coat and shoes before heading out to the awaiting taxi, and making way to the club.

The cold air nips at your exposed skin as you open the car door, and try your best not to stumble while you climb out of the vehicle that’s parked outside a bustling night club. You didn’t have another drink back at the loft, but you’re definitely still feeling the ones you’ve consumed from earlier, and are trying your best not to show it.

You take a step onto the curb and lose your footing slightly. A failed attempt to try and grab onto the door for leverage results in you gasping when you completely miss it. Your heart rate picks up as you brace for the impact and humiliation that will come with falling to the ground, but it never happens.

A pair of arms snake around the middle of your back and brings you towards a chest covered by a costly looking black suede jacket. The person helps steady you as you clutch onto their arms for a moment, and finally look up at them.

Your gaze instantly meets the most stunning green eyes you’ve ever seen, and you tilt your head to the side slightly. The brown-haired man looks down at you with concern as you continue holding onto him, and he slowly smirks at your actions. “You alright, love?” He asks with a lovely British accent.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter as you continue gawking at the stranger. There is something insanely familiar about him, but you just put you finger on what it is. You shake your head and slowly move away from him; quickly glancing behind him to see the people waiting in line to get inside staring back at you; probably judging the fact you almost fell on your face. An anxious feeling builds in your stomach as you bite down on your bottom lip and slowly look at the man again. “Uh, thanks for catching me.”

“S’no problem,” he responds and brushes a hand through his curls. He pauses for a moment and goes to say something else, but is cut off by a car door slamming.

You turn around to find the source of the noise and see your best friend as she annoyingly steps onto the curb without flaw. Her eyes find you and the stranger, and you watch as they instantly widen. “Oh my god!” She squeals and rushes forward, seemingly to be staring right through you and at the man. “You’re, You’re-.”

“Just uh, leaving actually,” he says lowly and nervously looks around. His eyes take a second to find yours again, but they soften when they do, and he smiles slightly as he winks at you. “Try not to get hurt again tonight, yeah?”

With one final nod, he steps away to make his way towards the entrance of the club and disappears once the bouncer greets him happily. You stand there staring after the man slightly dumbfounded... Who was that guy? And how the hell did he get to skip that line of people?

“As if that just happened on my birthday,” your friend speaks up from behind you and walks to your side, staring at the doorway with you. 

“What? That guy?” You ask and glance at her sideways.

“Jesus, how drunk are you, Y/N?” She asks incredulously.

“Quite drunk actually because someone wouldn’t let me stay home, and this is the only way I can deal with lots of people.” You articulate, and she rolls her eyes. 

“Whatever,” she huffs and looks back at the entrance. “That guy was Harry Styles. You know, from One Direction.”

“That’s who that was?” You sputter as realization washes over you. “Great, I just met this famous gorgeous person, and he probably thinks I’m a moron.”

“We all think you’re a moron, Y/N, don’t flatter yourself,” she jokes and starts walking towards the line. “But you’re my favourite moron so let’s go. Maybe we’ll see him in there again, and you can redeem yourself.”

“YOu’rE mY faVoURIte MOroN,” you mimic to yourself with a huff, and reluctantly follow after her.

By the time you make it inside, the place seems like it could very well be at full capacity, and you’re not a fan of it. You have to squeeze between groups of people with every couple steps you take, and to top it all off; your buzz is almost gone. 

Your friend grabs ahold of your hand and weaves you through the crowd to coat check, before heading to the bar and getting more drinks. The two of you order a couple of shots, and you go with the necessary choice of a vodka cranberry to take out onto the dance floor. 

“Having fun yet?” Y/F/N asks a couple of minutes later as she does a dramatic turn in rhythm to the music playing. 

“Not in the slightest,” you state, and close your eyes as you sway your body to the song. You take a sip of your drink and open your eyes to find her looking back at you with a fed-up expression. “I’m kidding! Of course, I’m having fun. You’re my best friend, and we’re celebrating the day of your birth.”

“And the start of a new year,” she adds and clinks your glasses together. The two of you continue dancing carelessly, but you come to an abrupt stop when her hand continuously begins smacking your arm. “Oh my god, look. It’s that super cute girl from my class I’ve been telling you about.”

You look to where she’s pointing, and a smile creeps across your mouth. “Well, what are you waiting for, bub?” You ask, and she looks to you with a confused expression. “Go get your girl. It’s almost midnight, and you wanted a New Year’s kiss, right?”

“Well yeah but I’m not going to leave you alone,” she explains and looks at you as if you’ve grown a second head. 

“I’ll be fine,” you tell and push her in the direction of the girl. “Now go get 'em, tiger.” She looks back at you hesitantly as she makes her way towards the girl. You can’t help but smile again once she reaches her, and they start talking.

Your buzz is back, and in full swing at this point, so you really don’t have a care in the world about being alone; and get back to your dancing as the DJ starts playing throwbacks to your preteen/early teen years, starting off with Pitbull’s, ‘Give Me Everything.’ 

The energy coming from the crowd feeds into you as people standing nearby welcome you to join them in dancing and screaming along to the lyrics. This goes on for the majority of the song until a deep voice speaks up from behind you. “I must say I do like that dress you’re wearing.”

“Thanks! It has pockets,” you exclaim as you turn around; pushing your hands into said pockets to show them off. You grin widely as you do so, but it falters when your eyes meet the same stunning green ones of the man from earlier. “Oh god, I have to go.”

Panic and embarrassment take over your body as you turn on your heel to walk away, but his hand is quick to grab onto your arm, and stop you. “Wait! I never did get to introduce myself, I’m Harry,” he explains as you slowly turn to face him again. You stand there frozen, unsure of what to do or say; still mortified by what happened earlier. He looks at you expectantly; waiting for some type of response, but picks up on how he probably won’t be getting one due to your stiff body language. “Do you have a name?”

“Of course, I have a name. What kind of question is that?” You snap and widen your eyes at your sudden outburst. “Er- I mean yes, uh it’s Y/N.”

“Well Y/N, it’s nice to meet you,” he chuckles, while you mentally smack yourself. “Now if you don’t mind me asking, what’re you doing out here dancing alone?”

“I decided to play matchmaker,” you tell him and point to where your friend and the girl are now dancing together. “But I was actually just going to go get another drink, it’s getting hot out here.”

“Mind if I buy it for you?” He asks and gestures for you to lead the way to the bar. 

“Uh sure,” you stammer, and nod as you walk past him. You make it a couple of steps but quickly turn around to question him about what the heck is happening right now. “Wait, why? Please don’t take this the wrong way, but don’t you have some other A-List celebrities you could be drinking and partying with over in the VIP section?”

“Well yes,” he shrugs and looks at you with a goofy smile. “But for whatever reason, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about this girl that almost face-planted onto the sidewalk when I first got here.”

“That’s a little creepy,” you say teasingly and smirk at him.

“Wow ok,” he laughs and shakes his head at you. “And that’s why. I’ve never gotten a reaction from someone that knew who I was like the one I got from you.”

“Who said I know who you are, or even care for that matter?” You press smoothly, causing him to smirk and run a hand through his hair.

“No one I suppose,” he responds and looks to the ground awkwardly.

“I’m just messing with you,” you tell him and gently nudge his shoulder. “I do know who you are, it just took me a while to realize it... Hence why I couldn’t stop staring at you like a complete idiot outside.”

“S’alright,” he replies and steps a little closer to you. “It was cute.” You can feel the blush rising in your cheeks, as the same question burns in the back of your mind; is this real life? 

Is this actually the Harry Styles flirting with you? He must be drunk... Of course he’s drunk Y/N, it’s New Years.  

The two of you continue staring at each other until he slowly looks to the side. You look in the same direction and see your best friend in a heated makeout session with the other girl. A sense of pride and accomplishment takes over you, as you step forward and attempt to yell over the crowd. “Yes, get it, girl!”

The DJ announces how there’s less than a minute left until midnight, and everyone starts buzzing with excitement. ‘Mr. Brightside’ by the Killers booms through the speakers, as the other club-goers prepare for their midnight kiss or the balloon drop that will happen at the same time.

“Looks like your friend got her New Years kiss, what about you?” Harry speaks up, and you snap your gaze back to him. You don’t say anything as the crowd begins counting down from ten, and let out a squeak when Harry’s lips connect with yours just after everyone starts cheering at the end of it. 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” You can’t see or hear the fireworks that are more than likely going on outside, but man can you feel them with Harry’s lips pressed against yours. It’s something you’ve never experienced in a kiss before, and it causes you to pull away slightly. 

Your faces are only inches apart as the balloons begin to fall. Shock registers on both of your features, as the realization of how you’ve each just kissed a complete stranger settles in; but you couldn’t care less. You smirk slightly before grabbing a handful of his white button-up shirt, and pulling until your lips crash against his again. 

He responds by wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to deepen the kiss; all while you tangle your other hand into his curls and open your mouth to allow access to his wandering tongue. 

You both pull away a few moments later, completely out of breath, and completely unsure of what is going to happen next... But what you do know is that this was sure one hell of a way to bring in the new year, and you don’t regret a single moment of it.