#not sure where that irrational fear started | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

areyouwell · 1 month

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Athazagoraphobia

Noun: An extreme and irrational fear of forgetting. Children or adults with this condition tend to experience nausea, raised heart rate or panic attacks when attempting to remember someone they don't.

Ch.5

Ch.4, Ch.3, Ch.2, Ch.1 <--

Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!Mutant!Reader

Warnings: MDNI, sexual content, talks of suicide, suicide attempt, descriptions of extreme bodily harm, needles, this chapter gets dark, reader discretion is advised

Word Count: 13.7k

A/N: i have been looking forward to this chapter for so long oh my GOD i am vibrating. this is the shit i love, although the absolute BATTLE i just fought to get this post off the ground was long and arduous so rip my formatting tumblr didn't like it :( god gives his hardest battles to his silliest soldiers. also kurt and hank are here because i felt bad leaving them out timeline WHAT TIMELINE?

Taglist: @badbishsblog @reidsworld @idioticstar @toogaytofunctiondangit @ghostyv @wolviesgirl @over-bi-the-wayside

To say Logan hadn’t gotten much sleep was an understatement. Sure, he’d dozed off here and there, but he would jolt awake every time you held so much as a sleepy breath. He couldn’t shake the image from his mind. Seven of them. The way their heads cocked at an unnatural angle. The way they silently stared, faceless, voiceless, seemingly just watching. Waiting. The way they sank back into the shadows the moment you stirred. They must have been from you, some subconscious product of your mutation. Still, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t creep him out a little.

Though, he didn’t know what else he expected. You could manipulate and walk through shadows. You were bound to have some creepy quirks, as well as constantly looking tired, apparently.

Sunlight streamed through the curtains, dust mites floating in the golden beams filtering through the leaves of the various plants near your window. You’d told him a while ago you’d named them all, something about giving them a voice making them grow faster, or something else equally as ridiculous. He still didn’t quite know which one was Molly and which one was Dalia, but he could tell his Herberts from his Judases, which was a start, he supposed.

Fucking hell he was down so bad.

You still slept soundly against his chest, occasionally a soft snore would melt his heart, or a discontented pinch of your brow only to smooth out when you nestled closer. Part of him wished neither of you ever had to move. Actually, scrap that, he wished you didn’t have to move with his whole being. He silently thanked whoever came up with the idea of Saturdays and the knowledge that the two of you could spend a lazy morning in bed without the approaching threat of teaching a class.

Maybe he would take you out today, steal Scott’s bike and escape for one peaceful moment. There were a few lakes nearby he wouldn’t mind visiting with you, end the day at a bar or something. The image of you perched behind him on the bike, your arms wrapped around his middle, cheek resting against his back made up his mind. He was definitely going to take you out today. Get away from everything for a while. Away from teaching, training, the possibility that if you didn’t get your mutation under control you could be lost to the shadows for good…

That kind of thing.

He gazed down at you, your mussed hair and twitching features. He loved you. Logan knew that. Two months and he was already certain. It was just saying it, he struggled with. Admitting it out loud. That’s where the problems started. It was like he was cursed, the moment he uttered those three words, some kind of catastrophe would strike and he’d lose everything for good.

He hoped you knew. Fuck, he hoped you knew. Hoped you knew that with every waking moment, he burned to be near you, seared with the need to touch you. Even innocently. A hand on your knee, an arm around your shoulder, anything. Sure, he’d happily spend the rest of his life with his face between your thighs or his cock submerged in your cunt, but that didn’t seem realistic. And, if nothing else, Logan was a man of realism.

A sigh escaped your slightly parted lips, eyes fluttering slightly as you started to wake. He brushed the stray hairs from your face, your features scrunching, blinking awake.

“Good mornin’,” he smiled, and you groaned in response, closing your eyes again and hiding your face in his chest.

“No.” your response was muffled but audible, and he cocked a brow.

“Bad mornin’?”

You shook your head slightly. “No morning. Wake me when it’s midday.”

If there was one thing Logan had learnt about you, it was that you were not a morning person. ‘Too much light’ was your typical excuse, and he couldn’t say he blamed you. He used to drag himself out of bed with the promise of a strong cup of coffee before he became a teacher. He didn’t know why he was shocked to learn you were a night owl, it made a shit ton of sense considering your mutation. Though he chalked it down to the fact that your smile shone like the sun itself.

“Coffee?” He asked, and that silenced your protests. Your clock was still discarded on the floor, but flicking his wrist up in front of his face, he grinned seeing the time. 8 am. Oh, you were going to be furious. Especially since it was a Saturday.

“What time is it?” you asked, raising your head from his chest and turning your head to your window as if the sun had personally offended you. You had half the mind to storm over to the curtains and snap them closed. If only you hadn’t been so comfortable, you’d really show the sun what for.

“A little after eight…” he said tentatively, and your head whipped back to look at him, face a picture of utter disbelief.

“You’re fucking joking.”

“Nope, sorry sweetheart, the clock doesn’t lie.” he showed you his wrist with the time, and you groaned in frustration, your forehead hitting his chest in defeat.

“It’s a goddamn Saturday, not even Jubilee is up this early on a Saturday.” You lamented, pulling the covers up and over your head. Logan chuckled slightly, finding your detest for mornings amusing as you hid from the sun. “Fucking curtains not being closed for the fucking light to get in fucking god fucking damnit.”

“Yeah, you tell ‘em.” His hand rested on your covered head in faux protection, feeling you shift beneath the duvet, your angry huff fanning his chest.

“I will.” He could almost hear your pout, shuffling forward to poke your head from the covers like the world’s most gorgeous groundhog, the duvet wrapped tightly around your head so he could see only your face. “Did you say coffee?” You asked, and even if you didn’t have the hope of a child being offered a lollypop dancing in your eyes, he still would have nodded. Though with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

Couldn’t appear too keen to bend to your every request.

“What’ll you give me for it?” He smirked, knowing full well there were very few lengths you’d go through to acquire a fresh pot of caffeine in the morning. And your narrowed eyes confirmed that knowledge.

“I’ll suck you so hard you’ll see fucking stars.”

Logan choked on his own saliva. He didn’t know what he was expecting but it certainly wasn’t that. “Fuckin’ freak…” he muttered, failing miserably at hiding his smile. You flashed him a toothy grin, knowing you had him in a box. Honestly, you’d do it anyway just for fun and maybe to tease him a little.

Logan threw back the covers on his side of the bed, waiting for you to move so he could sit up and start his coffee-making mission. Only, you didn’t move, just blinked at him expectantly. “You gotta move, hun.”

“Why can’t you be telekinetic, so inconvenient.” You grumbled, reluctantly releasing him from your arms and rolling onto your other side, only to huff once again as sunlight invaded your eyes. “Fucking sun!”

Logan watched with no small degree of admiration as you angrily threw one of your pillows and the window, eyes tracking the trajectory as it hit the curtain with a slight thump before falling to the floor. “You showed him.” He quipped, receiving a small kick to his side.

You looked over your shoulder as he stood, watching his naked body shamelessly. Shit, he was so fucking hot. Your mouth almost watered as he stretched his arms above his head, his back flexing, muscles tensing. You sat up a little against the headboard, sandwiching your thumb between your teeth as he flexed his back again, and this time you knew it was on purpose.

“Enjoyin’ yourself?” he didn’t even need to look to know your eyes were on him. He could feel them, for fuck’s sake. And your maniacal little laugh confirmed it all.

“You’re nice to look at, excuse me for finding you attractive.” There wasn’t even a hint of guilt in your voice. You really were a freak weren’t you?

Logan slowly turned to face you, watching as your eyes dragged up and down his body, your mischievous smile only widening. He cast his gaze skyward, folding his arms across his broad chest. “Ya done?”

You clicked your tongue. “Not even close. But, I really want a coffee, so I guess I am for now.” You shrugged as if you hadn’t just been fucking the shit out of him with your eyes. Logan huffed a laugh, shaking his head in fond disbelief. As if you couldn’t be any more endearing. Yes, you were a grumpy little shit in the mornings, but you were his grumpy little shit. And he had a sneaking suspicion you might feel exactly the same about him.

You rolled your eyes as he shrugged on his singlet, pulling up his briefs and jeans before looking around the room, unable to locate his belt. He spun in a slow circle, eyes scanning the floor. He swore it had fallen with his jeans. “Have you seen my–”

Hearing the telltale clink of metal, Logan looked back at you holding up the leather by his buckle. That was not where he thought he’d left it. He raised a brow of questioning, and you shrugged again. “I had it on hand. In case…” you trailed off and his eyes widened in scandal, brow furrowed.

“In case of what?!”

“Just, in case.” You pursed your lips in an attempt to hide your filthy grin and failed spectacularly. Logan barked a laugh of disbelief, skirting around the bed and snatching the belt from your hands, tossing it on the covers as he trapped you in his arms.

“You,” he started, before pressing his lips to yours. “Are such,” he kissed you again. “A freak.” He finished, moulding his mouth against your own in a lingering, lingering dance. You giggled into his lips, your hands finding the soft strands of his hair. “Only two months in and you already want me to tie you up?” He drew back with a smirk, just far enough to see the perversity in your eyes.

“Who said anything about tying me up…?”

He blinked. How many fucking surprises were you going to spring on him this morning? “Hate to break it to ya darlin’, but if that’s your intention then a thin strip of leather ain’t gonna cut it.”

Your irises sparkled with the realisation that he wasn’t saying no. “Well, in that case, I’ll just have to get something stronger.” You murmured, closing the gap between the two of you once again before breaking it almost immediately. “Maybe some of those metal zip ties… or just a really thick wire. I dunno, how strong are you?”

“Real fuckin’ strong.”

Your brows furrowed in thought, and he ruffled the top of your head. “Don’t strain yourself.”

You gaped in mock offence. “So rude. Go get coffee, I don’t even want to look at you right now.”

“Weren’t sayin’ that earlier, were ya?”

“Yeah, but now your shirt’s on.”

“Face not good enough for ya?”

“Not when it’s insulting me, no.”

“And when it’s doing this?” Logan leaned into your neck, his tongue darting out to lick along the side of your throat, teeth gently nipping at your soft, bruised skin from last night. You gasped a strangled moan, still sensitive from where he’d left his marks on you.

“That’s more forgivable.” You breathed as he drew back, a smug smirk plastered across his face. “Go, before I drag you back into bed and have my freaky little way with you, belt and all.” You wiggled your brows and he chuckled darkly, as if anything you said could be seen as a threat. But he acquiesced nonetheless, feeding his belt through the loopholes of his jeans, securing the clasp.

“I’ll be back in a few.” He placed a kiss to your forehead and you hummed a soft, contented smile before he turned away and headed out down the hallway. You were right, it was far too early for anyone to be awake on a Saturday. As far as he could hear, nobody was up yet, which just meant he got a good few more hours to spend with you before the rest of the mansion started to think you were either dead or missing. You weren’t a morning person, but that didn’t mean you weren’t up most mornings, just with a face like thunder.

He loosened a contented sigh, cracking open the door to the kitchen before crossing to the kettle and flicking the switch, listening to the low hiss of the water heating up before he pulled open the overhead cupboards to retrieve two mugs, a glass one for him and your favourite one for you. Logan realised with no small degree of shame that he didn’t actually know your birthday, and come to think of it, nobody else had mentioned it either. He hoped it hadn’t already been and gone, seeing your small collection of mugs had given him the perfect idea.

He rifled around for a bit, before locating the larger, cáfetier. It was easily big enough for two cups and then some. Popping open the steel lid to the coffee grounds, he spooned four heaps into the glass, guestimating the correct amount. Two heaps each seemed about right…

It had been too long since his biggest worry was something as domestic as how many heaps of coffee should he put in a cáfetier for two. It gave him a sense of peace, despite the events of three days ago. And with nobody else up and about yet, it really did feel like the two of you were alone in the world.

And honestly, he’d be fine with that.

At least, it did feel like, before the fantasy was shattered by approaching footsteps. Logan groaned internally, knowing that gait and heft anywhere. He didn’t even need to turn around to know it was Scott. Why, of all people, did it have to be fucking Scott.

“Logan… I didn’t know you’d be in here so early.” His tone was curt, stunted almost as if he was allergic to being nice. Logan simply grunted, pouring the freshly boiled water into the cáfetier and placing the lid on.

“I was just leavin’.” He responded gruffly, hooking his fingers around the two mug handles and carefully lifting the coffee pot, making for a quick escape before Scott cleared his throat.

“I uh… Look man, I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Logan paused, giving Scott a sidelong glance, a silent suggestion for him to continue. “About what happened the other day. The Professor was right, it wasn’t the time for us to fight.”

Logan grit his teeth. “That’s what you’re apologising for? Not for suggesting we should just get rid of her?” he snarled, his fingers tightening on the mug handles. Scott sighed, running a stressed hand through his hair.

“It’s not– It’s not that simple, Logan. She’s done this before, and last time it resulted in the death of one of our teammates. Jade was so kind. And she–”

“Loved her, yeah I know.” Logan finished, and Scott started in surprise.

“She told you that?” he asked, disbelief lacing his tone.

“I’m startin’ to think you’ve never actually had a conversation with her.” He bit, keeping his self-control intact. Though he didn’t know how annoyed you’d be if he told you he’d smashed your favourite mug over Scott’s head.

“She was my teammate before you were, Logan. I– It’s not easy to be the one to make these decisions, or even suggest them. But sometimes we need to do things to protect other people. You know that.”

Logan nodded in confirmation. He did know that. He knew that better than anyone. “And you should know that there is nothing I won’t do to protect her. So you come at her again, spoutin’ bullshit about neutralising a threat, and there’ll be no Professor to stop me from tearin’ you apart. Got it?” He snarled, subconsciously baring his teeth. Scott sighed again. It wasn’t uncommon for Logan to threaten his life, when they first met it was almost on a daily basis.

“I don’t want to neutralise her. I just want her under control,” he explained wearily. “Sure, the first time this happened and she killed Jade, I’d been the one to suggest that. But we were scared. We were damn terrified of her. It was only thanks to Jean that she came back.”

Logan paused for a moment. He knew Jean was keeping something under wraps. “How? What exactly did she say?”

Scott shrugged, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. “No clue. She wouldn’t tell me. She told me to ask the Professor, but we were all a little caught up in grief to ask questions at that point, and by the time we’d all managed to move on, it didn’t seem to matter anymore,” Scott paused, evidently debating his next words. “But she responded to you. We all saw that. So, what I’m trying to say, is keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. None of us want her gone, Logan. We couldn’t help her, but maybe you can.”

It was the closest thing to a compliment Logan had ever received from the man, and he honestly didn’t know what to do with it. So he nodded in silent acknowledgement. It wasn’t exactly an olive branch, but something had definitely shifted in their dynamic. But before he could contemplate it further, Scott piped up again. “I’m happy for you two, by the way. You really complement each other. Or maybe I’m just happy you haven’t been making eyes at Jean for the last two months.”

Nevermind. He hated the prick. “Go fuck yourself, Scott,” he uttered with disinterest, and if he had either of his hands free, he would have flipped him off as he left. Heading back up the stairs, Logan wondered when it would ever just stop. When everything would finally come to a halt and he could have just one day for the two of you and not think about anything catastrophic happening. Yet here he was, climbing the flight of stairs up to the third floor, contemplating your mortality. He fucking hated it.

And he was having such a nice morning, too.

Shouldering open the door to your room, he was greeted by an empty space and the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, steam rolling out of the small gap where you’d left the door open a crack. Maybe he could still salvage this morning after all.

Settling down the coffee and mugs on your nightstand, he left the grounds to soak in the water before briskly stripping off his clothes, leaving them in a collected pile at the foot of your bed and slowly opening the bathroom door a little wider. It was like a sauna in there, steam fogging up the mirror, the walls sweating. You hummed a soft tune, one he recognised after a beat.

It was the same song he’d asked you to dance to.

His heart inflated as he opened the steamed-up door to step in behind you, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around your waist to your small jump and gasp of surprise.

“‘S’just me, don’t worry,” he soothed, burying his face in the crook of your slick neck. Your hair hung limp, freshly washed as you leaned back into him, holding his arms against you.

“Mmm, was just thinking about you.” You hummed, and if Logan wasn’t already half hard at the sight of your dripping naked body, that low, sultry tone of your voice would have been enough.

“Yeah?” he loosened his grip so you could turn around to face him, your arms slinking up his body and around his neck. “What about me?” he asked, biting back his groan as you swapped places with him, warm water cascading down his back.

“‘Bout last night… all the things I didn’t get to do…” You teased his lips with whispers of kisses, barely making contact as you held his gaze hostage, your eyes darkening with each passing moment. He felt lightheaded already when you bypassed his mouth altogether, your teeth instantly biting down against his collarbone.

“Like what?” he strained, his hands skirting up and down your waist, your lips trailing up the hollow of his throat, over to the side of his neck where you sucked a harsh bruise that, to your irritation, faded instantly. You knew doing it again was a losing battle, but that didn’t stop you from sinking your teeth into his flesh, feeling his rising groan on your tongue as you smoothed over the unmarked skin. Your hands braced against his chest as you rose up on your tip toes to breath into his ear.

“I wasn’t joking earlier.” Was all you muttered, nibbling at his earlobe and leaving the side of his head tingling before you travelled lower down the curve of his fuzzy jaw, back down the path you’d carved for yourself, pressing kisses down his chest, your nails lightly scratching down either side of his ribs, following the curve of his hip bone and to his hard cock.

Logan inhaled as you took him in your wet palms, squeezing around his shaft, delivering pinches with your teeth around one of his nipples, clamping down around when you teased his already leaking tip.

“Shit…” he gasped as you sucked against his shockingly sensitive bud, the scent of your own arousal heightened in the steamy heat, driving him mad with need. Releasing him from your mouth, you giggled softly as he thrust into your grip, his hands sliding from your waist to your hair as you sank to your knees before him, making sure you kept eye contact.

Sticking out your tongue, you waited for what felt like an eternity to him, before you delivered a small kitten lick to the underside of his cock. His jaw fell open as he watched you, all your attention now stuck on teasing the fuck out of him, not going any further than small, short swipes. He didn’t want to push you but holy shit were you testing his self-control.

“Fuckin’ tease.” He huffed, gritting his teeth when your malleable tongue traced one of the thick, pulsing veins down the side of his shaft. His fingers tightened in your hair, though not to move you, rather just to feel you beneath his fingertips.

Logan’s head fell back as your lips enveloped his sensitive tip, and he realised he would happily drown in this shower if it meant you didn’t stop, water washing away the sweat from his brow, bouncing off his closed eyes. A gravelly moan bubbled from his chest, echoing slightly off the walls. “Jus’ like that, baby,” he whispered almost to himself as you took him further, your pointed tongue dragging down the underside of his cock, one of your hands pumping what you couldn’t fit, the other braced against his hip to hold him still.

You bobbed your head slowly, tasting the distinct musk and salt of his ecstasy as you flattened your tongue, hollowing your cheeks and humming lowly. The bathroom became an orchestra of gravelly groans and airy gasps, all drowned out from the outside world by the running water. Sinking into a comfortable rhythm, you looked up at his head thrown back, one of his hands had moved from your hair to the wall as he all but leaned against it.

Opening your throat, you slipped him further in your mouth until your nose was nestled comfortably against the coarse hairs at his naval. There you held him for a moment, swallowing around his cock and he fucking whimpered at the feeling of your throat squeezing him. You gagged slightly, and Logan looked down, his jaw slack as he took in possibly one of the hottest things he’d ever seen in his over a century of being alive. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, and he made to pull away to give you a moment to breathe. But the moment he shifted, your nails dug sharply into either side of his hips, holding him against you.

He stuttered moaning of your name and you knew he was close, so you hummed around him again, the vibrations of your voice travelling his throbbing length. The hand in your hair tightened as he slowly thrust his hips into your wanting mouth, gently fucking your face.

“Jesus Christ you feel good…” he uttered breathlessly, tensing his jaw as he approached his peak. You smiled wickedly around his cock, dragging your slick tongue down that same vein you were paying attention to earlier as he moved back, your teeth ever so slightly scraping atop his length, and it was his undoing.

Pleasure flooded his senses, fire coursing through his blood as he went to pull from your mouth, only to have you angrily shove your head forward, swallowing again around his member as he threw his head back to embrace the stream of the shower. “Fuck, fuck!” He stuttered a long, drawn-out groan as he spilled into your mouth, painting your throat white as his hips bucked uncontrollably, the tips of his claws poking through his knuckles as he fought to keep control, stars dancing behind his eyes.

The waves of ecstasy receded with each pulse, leaving him dizzy and gasping, his head falling forward to catch his breath and steady himself. Looking up from your knees, you drew back, leaving a lingering kiss on the head of his cock, your hands gently squeezing his thighs.

“You okay?” You asked, rising to your feet, palm softly cupping the underside of his jaw and moving his face to look at you. He was stunned, dazed almost, as he wordlessly searched your eyes for an answer to a silent question. You laughed a little, and he drew you in with a thumb and forefinger pinching your chin, claiming your mouth with his lips in a delicately passionate kiss. The way he tasted himself on your tongue almost had him hardening again.

“You almost suffocated yourself and you’re asking if I’m okay?” he asked with subdued disbelief, and you grinned wildly.

“You seemed out of it for a moment, wanted to make sure I didn’t kill you.” You responded with airy innocence, and Logan huffed a laugh.

“Murder attempt number two. Not a great track record, huh?” He teased lightly, and you narrowed your eyes at him. But before you could come up with some witty retort, he sank to his knees before you, throwing a leg over his shoulder so bruskly you had to steady yourself against the wall. “Fuck you’re so hard to ignore when you smell this fuckin’ sweet, darlin’.” He murmured, before wasting no time in devouring your cunt until you were whimpering his name and gushing all over his tongue.

Consider the morning salvaged.

“This is going to be insanely strong coffee.” You called from the bedroom as Logan dried his hair with a spare towel, draping it across his shoulders before padding out the join you. “Someone didn’t want to leave the shower.” You shot pointedly with a small grin. He simply shrugged in response, trying not to be too disappointed that you’d thrown on a baggy t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs.

“Not sure how I’m to blame for that.” He crossed the room to stand behind you, towel wrapped dangerously low around his hips and circled his arms around your waist, setting his chin atop your head. “You started it.”

You leaned back into his chest, basking in the warmth of his embrace. It was these little moments of soft domesticity that you craved with him. Yeah, the sex was great. Mind-blowing, in fact, and teaching and training with him was a fantastic excuse for the two of you to spend time with each other, but it was these moments you valued. Swaying in the kitchen to whatever song blared from the radio, your head resting on his lap as you dozed off to some shitty reality tv-show, or vice versa. These were the moments you’d remember when you were old and grey and he was–

Still looking gorgeous and young. Fuck, you hadn’t thought about that. How had that only just occurred to you? You pushed the thought into the furthest corners of your mind. Now was not the time to be entertaining such things.

“Why did you take so long, by the way? I was halfway through the intended length of my shower by the time you got back.” You asked, mourning the loss of his contact as you went to pour the coffee into the two mugs, your heart expanding when you saw he’d picked your favourite one. The one Kitty gifted you.

“Ran into Scott in the kitchen…” You snorted at the irritation in his tone, clearly not a fond memory.

“What’d he have to say for himself?” A hand extended behind you, clasping the top of the glass mug between your fingertips as you handed it to him, pouring yourself a mug of your own before you turned to sit on the bed.

“Thanks. He was just runnin’ his mouth, to be honest with ya. Though he did apologise, which felt weird.” Logan returned to his side of the bed, sitting up against the headboard and raising his arm as a silent request for you to join him. You shuffled closer, ducking beneath his arm and cosying into his side, making sure to hold your full mug of coffee steady.

“He did? What for?”

“We argued the whole training thing. He was apologising for the timing of it.”

You snorted a laugh into your mug. “Trust Scott to apologise for the thing that mattered least. But it’s a start, I guess. He say anything else?”

“Not really. Said he was happy for us and that we complemented each other, which also felt weird.” He didn’t think you’d be thrilled about the Jean comment, so he left that in the past like he had his feelings for her.

“Huh. Strangely nice of him.”

“‘S what I thought.”

You sipped on your drink, pleasantly surprised it was still warm, savouring the bitter-roasted flavour. “Yeah, a little too long, think the beans are a bit burnt, but it’s still good.”

“How’dya know the beans are burnt?”

“You can taste it. Or I can. I was a barista for a while, dontcha know?”

He raised a brow. No, he didn’t know that. “How many jobs have you had?” He asked, impressed that you had such a wide range of skills. You thought for a moment, it was actually a pretty good question.

“Ya know what? I have no idea. What’s funny is that I never remember quitting them either. I’d just wake up one day and bam! New job. I guess I liked to bounce around a lot. Still do.” You elbowed him, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively and he groaned in exhaustion.

“Terrible.”

“You liked it.” You stuck out your tongue and he huffed in amusement. Yeah, he did. And he wasn’t about to deny it.

Logan paused for a moment, knowing the next topic he wanted to talk to you about was likely going to be a sensitive one. You hadn’t told him for a reason, and if you didn’t want to talk about it, he wouldn’t push you, but he wanted to let you know that he knew. “Can I see your wrist…?”

Predictably, you shot from his side, muttering a curse as your coffee sloshed from your mug and onto your hand. It wasn’t like you’d made an effort to hide your scars, it was more that you banked on the fact that people, generally, were too afraid to ask. But you should have guessed Logan of all people wouldn’t shy away from something like that. Not where you were concerned anyway.

Tentatively, you set your mug down on the nightstand, turning back to him and offering one of your wrists. He did the same, shifting to set his own mug down before slowly taking your outstretched hand in his own, inspecting the deep, faded scar with the pad of his thumb. “When?” He asked gently.

“Years ago. It’s all kind of a blur really, and I don’t remember much of it. I just– I was terrified of being a mutant and couldn’t see a way out. I think my brother found me, and took me to a hospital. I don’t know why they’re still there, honestly. I’ve used my mutation countless times since, but I guess scars are as part of the mind as they are the body. Or something like that.” It was the only explanation you had for the marks littering your body, not just the ones on your wrists, but your chest, thighs, and neck. You were a scrappy kid, always picking fights with the wrong people.

Logan brought your wrist up to his lips, ghosting featherlight kisses down the raised line. “I’m so sorry.” He murmured, and your heart bled. He had nothing to apologise for, you hoped he knew that.

“‘S’okay. I… learned to accept what I am. Rowan helped me with that. That’s his name, don’t know if I ever told you. After he was done being mad at me, that is. Not that I blame him. I don’t know what I would have done had the roles been reversed.”

“You got on well, didn’t ya?”

You sighed. “Yes and no. We did when we were kids, but as we got older we started to drift apart. I think the grief over our parents changed him, and he got more cautious, whereas I got more reckless. We would fight a lot, but that didn’t mean I loved him any less. I just wish I could remember what our last argument was about. We were so fucking mad at each other, I left and deleted his fucking number.” You huffed a sigh of past frustration, turning to retrieve your mug of coffee.

That was news to him. He didn’t know your parents had died. He knew they weren’t around during your teen years, but he didn’t know they’d died. But the way you just casually mentioned it told him it was a topic that didn’t need discussing right now.

You settled back against him, his arm draping over your shoulders, your head dropping to the dip in between his collarbone and neck as silence settled back over you. You appreciated the way he didn’t press you for more. You doubted you’d be satisfied with such a brazen explanation, and you knew he most likely had more questions for you, so when he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, you smiled against his skin.

“‘M gonna take you out today.”

“Like on a date or with a gun?”

You felt his snort of laughter against your cheek. “Have you always been this dark?”

“I’m a shadow weaver, comes with the territory.” You responded nonchalantly.

“‘S that was you’re calling yourself now?”

“Nah. I still kinda like Phantom. But who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind someday.” You raised your head to take another sip of your coffee, grimacing as the liquid had gone from piping hot to lukewarm.

“On a date, dumbass. Thought we could get away for a while.” He brushed a strand of your hair back from your face, smoothing over your eyebrow with his thumb.

“What’d ya have in mind?” You asked, leaning into his touch a fraction.

“Take a drive, head to one of the lakes in the area, grab a drink after. Things normal couples do.”

You huffed in amusement. “We’re not a normal couple, Lo’.”

He smirked slightly. “Yeah, I know. You’re a freak.”

“And you’re not? Mister ‘I can smell your arousal and it gets me going’.” You poked the centre of his chest and he flicked your forehead in retaliation.

“You up for it?”

“I get to spend the day away from the kids and visit a super scenic lake with my second favourite mutant in the mansion? Followed by an evening of drinking in a bar? You might as well have asked me to marry you here and now.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, we’re n– wait second favourite?”

You nodded, looking at him like the answer was obvious. “Well yeah, Kitty bought me my favourite mug so she reserves favourite person rights.”

“S’that how it works?”

“Bit slow on the uptake aren’t ya?” Logan pushed you off him, careful not to shove you too hard so you spilt any more coffee on yourself.

“I take it back. We’re gonna spend the day here.” You gasped dramatically, setting your drained mug to the side before trying to cosy back up to him, only for his arm to hold you at bay.

“I lied, I lied! You’re incredibly smart and quick and my favourite person I’ve ever met ever!” You exclaimed through fits of laughter as you tried to fight through the wall of sinewy muscle.

“Didn’t hear ya. Come again?” He held you off with one hand, the other effortlessly raising his mug of coffee to his lips. It was a testament to his strength how he could keep you back with just one arm.

Maybe metal cable ties weren’t strong enough after all…

You conceded, flopping down onto the pillows next to you, bubbles of laughter still popping from your chest. “When do you wanna leave? What time is it actually?” you asked, taking him by the wrist only to see he wasn’t wearing his watch. Must have taken it off to shower.

“Lemme check, hold on.” Logan leaned down off the bed where the poor alarm clock still lay completely abandoned, retrieving your lamp at the same time and setting them both on the nightstand. “Just gone nine. Leave in an hour? I think it’s roughly three hours by car, but Scott’s bike shaves off at least half an hour so…” He shrugged with a cheeky grin, and you laughed at the mischief in his eyes.

“Gives us around six hours to ourselves, minus the journey. Sounds perfect to me.” Being unable to withstand a lack of physical contact with you for any longer than three minutes, Logan lifted his arm for you again, and you returned to the home you’d built next to his heart.

“We should get out more…” he lamented softly, his hand holding your shoulder, thumb stroking your soft skin beneath the short sleeve of your t-shirt.

“If we had the time, that would be great.” You sighed, feeling his slight despondency. If only your circumstances had been different, and you were just a normal couple that could do normal couples things. But now, you had to teach younger mutants how not to accidentally kill the wrong people, and how to effectively kill the right people. Not only that, but you had to train to ensure you didn’t accidentally kill yourself in the process.

Fuck’s sake.

A fist knocked at the door three times, and you braced for Kitty to simply let herself in. But the longer the silence after lingered, the surer you became that, whoever was on the other side of the door, wasn’t Kitty.

“Come in!” You called, not making any efforts to obscure either yourself of Logan. The whole mansion knew by now, it wasn’t like you were trying to keep it a secret. The door opened to reveal Ororo, her white hair neatly tied back from her face.

“Morning! Just wanted to– oh. Hey Logan…” she eyed the two of you suspiciously and you shared a glance with him. The fact he was only dressed in a towel and you in a loose tee and boxer briefs didn’t exactly help your case of innocence. “Right… anyway, I guess this saves me two trips. Xavier has a conference in Connecticut, Jean’s going with him. They’re giving a talk on starting up a new school for both mutants and humans to start coexisting, so you’re both on babysitting duty.”

Your heart sank. “What the hell are you and Scott doing?!” You asked accusingly, sitting up from Logan’s chest. Storm’s brows pinched like she seemed genuinely remorseful this was how things had to be.

“Tying up some loose ends for Kurt and Hank before picking them up. They’ve been away for a while now, but they’re back today. That and Scott has some errands to run, so we’ll be back late.” She explained sheepishly, and you groaned in frustration. The one day off you thought you could have and you’ve been stuck with babysitting.

The gods really like shitting in your dinner, don’t they?

“Alright… but you owe us.” Logan piped up, and you whipped your head to him in exasperation. He read your face instantly. ‘Are we really going to do this?’

‘Like we have a choice.’ he silently communicated back, and he knew you’d understood what he’d said when you sighed heavily, dragging a hand down the side of your face.

“Fucking fine, but Logan’s right, you owe us. And I was wondering where those two had got to, how long’ve they been away?”

Ororo loosened a breath of relief. “Thank you. And next Saturday? All your’s, I promise. As for Kurt and Hank, around a year or so? Xavier sent him off on a private mission not even we knew about until a couple months ago, just before you came back. We’re going to pick them up just to make sure they get here safely.” She didn’t seem too confident about wherever Nightcrawler and Beast had been.

“That dangerous, huh?” As if the mere mention of a dangerous mission set him on edge, Logan’s arm wrapped back around your shoulders protectively. Neither of you had been required for one since your return, and he was honestly dreading the day.

“Kurt’ll explain more when he gets back I’m sure, but yeah, that dangerous. Hank doesn’t like to go on missions like these, but apparently, Charles needed his diplomatic expertise and Kurt’s quick getaways, so who knows?” Ororo shrugged, before looking pointedly at Logan’s bare chest and then your bare legs. “Do I even wanna know what you guys were up to before I knocked…?”

You laughed, waving off her concerns. “Having a coffee and chatting about the day we did have planned before being landed with babysitting duty, nothing exciting don’t you worry.”

“Unless you wanna talk about the shower…” You shot Logan a scandalised look, mouth and eyes wide in utter shock.

“Ew, no, I’m good, see you later.” Ororo shielded her eyes as she left as if she could unsee the mental image Logan had just planted there. As soon as the door shut you smacked his arm with the back of your hand.

“What was that for?”

“Did it look like she was gonna leave anytime soon to you?” You took a moment to think about it, and Logan’s expression shifted to self-satisfaction. “Exactly.”

Well, you couldn’t argue with that. You offered him a little, defeated smile. “Guess our day off will have to wait.”

He leaned forward, tucking you into his side before relaxing back against the headboard. “I’ll take you out soon, ‘kay? Promise.”

“Like, on a date or w–” You couldn’t even finish the sentence before he clapped his hand over your mouth, stopping you midway through.

“Enough. It wasn’t funny the first time, why did you think it would be funny again?”

You stuck your tongue out to lick his palm, a foolproof method of removing someone’s hand from your mouth. Or, at least it had been foolproof in the past. But you raised your eyes to his face, and he looked at you with disinterest. “Not gonna work, firefly.”

You adored that nickname. He never explained where it came from or why he started it, but it didn’t matter to you. As long as he never stopped.

Thick black boots pounded the floorboards as you raced through the hallways of the mansion, vibrations humming up your legs with every step, your breath like fire in your lungs. Shouts and screams echoed in every corner, flashes of torchlight illuminating cones of white against the walls like searchlights. The Professor was away. Why was the Professor always fucking away?

Sliding to a halt as you heard footsteps around the corner, you quickly slipped into the shadows, hushed voices muffled as if underwater as you jumped to the ceiling. Light separated the shadows, and four silhouetted figures walked cautiously beneath you. You could make out the outlines of their guns as the torch shifted before the hallway was again drenched in darkness as they continued their search.

Morphing to the floor, you reformed from the black, stealing a quick glance behind you to where they’d disappeared. There were no students that way, Logan and Scott had made sure of that. The moment Logan had sensed something was off, the evacuation had begun, escorting the students silently from their beds and through the hidden channel behind the panel wall. You knew there were stragglers, but you focused on the knowledge Ororo and Kurt were with them.

How had things gotten so out of hand so goddamn fast? You’d woken up on Logan’s chest this morning feeling like a whole new mutant, comfort wrapped around your heart like an embrace. Now, the opposite couldn’t be more true. You cursed the fact that Jean followed Xavier around like a lost soul. You could really use her help right about now.

A piercing, shooting pain rushed through your head as you clamped your hands down over your ears, crouching to the floor. Your eardrums throbbed as you recognised that ability, gut knotting at the realisation that Theresa was still inside somewhere, her sonic scream sending waves of agony through your mind before it stopped abruptly. Fuck.

With a new sense of urgency, you sprinted through the entrance hall, taking the stairs two at a time. If you’d been a little more focused on your surroundings and less hellbent on saving the girl, perhaps you would have noticed the line of guns pointed in your direction. One moment you were racing full speed down the first-floor hallway, the next you’d frozen solid as torches flared simultaneously, erasing any easily accessible shadow. You braced, knowing after they “killed” you, they’d turn away and leave you to sink into the darkness and reform.

But they held fire, your strained pants the only sound in the eerie silence of the bedroom corridor.

“They were right…” you whipped your head back to the voice behind you, knees bent in anticipation as two figures stepped from the room you knew to be Jubilee’s, and you prayed to whatever sick, twisted gods above that Logan or Scott had got to her first. The torches behind you revealed a man you thought to be in his thirties, a pair of thick, round glasses perched on the end of his crooked nose. He was taller than whoever was next to him and unnaturally thin. “We missed you dearly.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Come again?” You spat, eyes darting between the two.

The man just laughed heartily, opening his arms as if offering you a hug. “Of course, how could I be so rude? I’ve read the reports… Subject Five, if you could be so kind.”

Panic surged through your body as Subject Five stepped forward, a golden glow emanating from beneath its clothes. Your eyes closed instinctively as the hallway lit up as though the sun had risen, your hands flying to shield your face.

“That’s a bit better. You look good, Eight, but you always were the resilient one.” You were barely listening, still caught up in the dawning revelation that you knew that mutation. You’d know that mutation anywhere. “We’re here to take you home. Subject One isn’t here, sadly, so I’m afraid you’re just going to have to take my word for it, but we really have missed you.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” you managed to grit, your eyes adjusting to the light as you cracked them open a little.

“I have to say, when I received word you were a teacher now, it almost made me laugh. You hated kids! Why on earth would you surround yourself with them? But then it dawned on me. A mutant school. If only my great-grandfather had thought of that at the start.” He continued as if you were engaging in nothing but a pleasant conversation in the park.

“Ya know, for someone who talks so much, you really are saying very little.” you quipped, finding a nugget of solace in the fact that this man didn’t want you dead, at least as far as you could tell. “Let’s start with introductions, yeah?”

He chuckled again. “You’re absolutely right. My name is Doctor Kreva. This man here, why you should already know him, even without Subject One to help out.” he was almost condescending in his tone, and you hated the fact he was right. You did know the mutant. And your heart bled for him. What the fuck was he doing here? Why was he raiding the school with this chucklefuck?

“Means nothing to me. The fuck do you want?” you snarled, to his further amusement.

“Were you not listening, darling? We want to take you home. My father was so stupid for letting you go,” it was the first emotion you’d seen on his face beyond sadistic joy. His eyes filled with frustrated hatred. “He never had the stomach for science. And after Seven somehow managed to kill my mother, a problem you so kindly took care of, he started to pity you all.” He spat like the word was venomous before he took a breath of collection. “Seven years it’s taken to track you all down and rebuild what he destroyed. Seven long years. But we’re nearly there. All we’re waiting for is you.”

Your breath got stuck in your throat. Seven years ago, you and Jade were picked up by Jean and Ororo on the side of that highway. How could he possibly know any of this? “You got the wrong gal, sorry bub.” Oh, you’d been spending way too much time with Logan. Dr. Kreva sighed, holding out his hand expectantly. Like a king’s attendance, one of the guards stepped up from behind you, making sure to keep his shadow far from your reach, before he slung a heavy pack from his shoulder, dropping it into Kreva’s waiting hand.

The doctor took a knee, removing one of the thickest folder’s you think you’d ever seen, and holding it up. It was old. Incredibly old. Whatever colour it had been originally had faded to a pale grey, the edges frayed and splitting. He placed it on the floor face up, and your eyes caught sight of a label, though it was too far away for you to read accurately.

“Everything you think you know is a lie, Phantom. Didn’t you think it strange your memories are jumbled? Important moments of your life scrambled or forgotten. Loose ends never tied, arguments never resolved? But this, this holds everything. Your entire life, in one folder. All eighty-two years you were with us.”

You scrunched your face, slightly offended. “I’m thirty-two, asshole.” You spat back, your skin starting to burn under such intense lighting, those threads in your body begging to be released into the shadows to escape.

“So that’s the age he decided before releasing you. Interesting. Well, I’ll have Subject One rectify that when you’re back with us. Tranq her. Now. Subject Three, begin evacuation.” Before you could even turn around to defend yourself, a sharp pain spiked the side of your neck. You froze, blood draining from your face as you realised you’d been pierced with a needle. Heartbeat rising, you fought the urge to throw up. You didn’t know where your fear stemmed from, but you assumed it was when you were taken for blood tests as a child.

If… if that even happened. Because if you were to believe anything this dickwad said, maybe you didn’t even have a childhood.

Your vision started to swim, and you angrily blinked the grogginess away. “Rowan… wh– what’re y– what’re you doing…?” You could barely finish the sentence as the tranquiliser entered your bloodstream, taking quick effect on your mind as you struggled to stay upright, your knees buckling as you threw your arms out to catch yourself. Shadows. You needed a shadow. But there was nothing to morph into. Nothing you could reach to rid yourself of this feeling. Everything became muffled, as if you were underwater, only barely able to hear a gut-wrenching roar before your vision went dark, and you were out cold.

Logan raced up the stairs, fury pumping through his blood. He’d been looking everywhere for you, crashing through doorways and slicing through skin and muscle to find you. Hank had mentioned he’d seen you sprinting toward Theresa’s room after she’d screamed, and he didn’t wait to hear the rest of what he’d said before he took off at a run. He crested the first flight just in time to see three figures halfway down the lit hallway, obscuring your unconscious body. He didn’t even take a minute to acknowledge the light was emanating from the figure on the right, rather than the lights themselves. The man in the centre turned just as Logan bellowed a cry of pure, unadulterated rage, offering him a curious tilt of his head before the one one the left took hold of each other their shoulders, and they disappeared before his eyes.

He didn’t care. They were gone and you remained. That was all that mattered. Racing to your side, he saw the cause of your condition, pulling the tranquiliser out from your neck and cautiously lifting you into his lap, checking your pulse just to be sure.

You were alive. Your heart was still beating. He almost shook with relief.

“It’s okay, I got you firefly, I got you.” He soothed, brushing your hair back and cradling you against his chest. “You’re safe now. You’re okay.”

“Logan?” He turned his head back down the hallway, heightened sight able to make out Kurt and Scott by the stairs, Kurt wringing his hands with worry. “Is she–”

“She’s fine, just out cold. Theresa’s still in her room if you wanna make sure she’d okay.” He gestured to the room a few doors down, and Kurt jogged passed him, pausing as he saw the file on the ground.

His eyes widened slightly, gaze flickering from the file name to your unconscious form, then back again, before looking at Logan. Crouching down, he flipped the folder so it was facing him, before continuing to Theresa’s room.

Logan froze as he read the scrawled, ink-smudged handwriting on the front of the file, his blood turning to ice in his veins.

NLMO. Subject Eight. “Phantom”.

Logan paced as he waited outside the med-bay, chewing at the cuticles of his thumb. Scott, Jean and Charles were having a heated debate in the room to his right, he could hear raised voices even with the doors closed. Ororo and Kurt had chosen to wait with him, Kurt crouched against the wall opposite and Ororo fixed her hair every two minutes. A nervous twitch, he noticed.

Since Jean was currently held up in the furious discussion, Hank had offered to perform the routine checkups on all the mutants they’d managed to tranquilise, yourself included. It had been four hours since the attack, and he still hadn’t shown his blue furry face. Then again, there were quite a few students who’d been targeted, not just you.

The meeting to his right went quiet before the doors slid open and Scott stormed out, a face like thunder. Logan couldn’t blame him, he had his own anger on a tight leash, simmering just below the surface. What the fuck was going on? Who the hell were you? Did Charles know about this? Did Jean? Was that why she’d been so strange lately after the training incident? The idea of the two of them knowing and not telling anyone made him want to tear apart the whole fucking mansion, and it seemed Scott was on the same wavelength as him for once.

“Scott wait!” Jean called after him, running after the furious man, but not before casting Logan a cautious glance. He just glared at her in response, before she hurried to catch up with Scott.

“You should have told me, Jean. I’m supposed to lead this goddamn team, how can I do that without knowing who I’m dealing with. No wonder she can’t control her fucking mutation, and I’ve been made to look like a monster for wanting the situation sorted when you knew about this the whole time!” He heard Scott rage, and it was the first time he’d actually heard him raise his voice to her. It would have almost been refreshing if he hadn’t just answered one of Logan’s most burning questions.

She did know about it. Oh, he was going to have a little chat with her later about that.

There was a beat before Charles wheeled from the room, his face a grim picture. He loosened a breath upon seeing the three of them still waiting, his eyes lingering on Logan, the file held in his lap. Logan grit his teeth.

“Did you know?” Was all he asked, and Charles said nothing, moving his gaze to the med-bay doors. That just pissed him off further. “Did. You. Know?” he spat every word like venom, balling his fists in an attempt to keep his anger in check.

“Yes,” Charles replied softly, as if speaking any louder would set him off. But Logan didn’t need him to raise his voice. That was all he needed to hear for his trust in the Professor to shatter completely. “Some memories are better off forgotten, Logan. You of all people know that.”

“Not her entire life!” He clamoured, causing both Ororo and Kurt to jump a little in surprise. He took a deep breath. It wasn’t their fault. They were as in the dark as the rest of the team. Except, it seemed, team telekinesis. “What’s in that folder, Charles? And tell me honestly. No more bullshit.” He seethed, though, to his subconscious surprise, Xavier held the file out to him.

“That’s for you to find out. If you wish. But I’ll warn you, Logan. Nothing in that file is good. Nothing is happy. Everything that’s happened to her in the last eighty years or so.” He explained sombrely, and Logan didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or scream. Eighty years? How was that possible? You were thirty-two. You’d said so yourself. None of this made any goddamn sense. How could you just forget the fact you’d lived at least eighty years of your life? As if Charles had read his mind, which he most likely had, he spoke up again. “A powerful mutant with a focus on memory altering known as Subject One, or Obscurity. From what I could gather, he could alter and re-alter memories, planting ones that never existed and pushing those that deep to the farthest reaches of their minds. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best they had at the time.”

The best they had? The best they had? Logan wanted to punch something. Or someone. Preferably someone bald and in a wheelchair. But he refrained himself when the doors behind him whooshed open, and Hank stepped through.

“All stable. Took a little longer than I thought it would. I think Jones will be out for another few hours, maybe a day or so. The poor little guy barely sleeps as it is, so a tranq knocked him for six.” Hank explained before sensing the tension in the room. Logan said nothing, almost knocking Beast to the ground as he breezed past him, uncaring as he was once again greeted by yet another sight of you lying unconscious on a metal table.

This was becoming a bad habit of yours.

“She should wake within the hour. The tranqs weren’t too strong, only designed for short knockouts rather than extended periods of unconscious.” Logan was barely listening, his heart clenching as you slept peacefully, hooked up to another fucking machine. How many of these have you been hooked up to in your life? How many other machines have you been monitored on? Was that how you received the scars? Or had that part of your story been true? Did you know anything about this? Or had you been lying to him the whole fucking time?

He had too many questions for you, but he knew how he could answer them. He extended a hand behind him. “Hand me the file.”

“Logan, you should–”

“Hand me the fucking file.” His arm shook impatiently, and there was a beat before Ororo took the folder from Charles and placed it in his waiting hand. Christ, it was hefty. Though, he supposed there was eighty years worth of information within its pages. Storm hovered next to him, sparing him a worried glance as he opened the first page.

Well, any hope that it was another Phantom was quickly dashed as the faded type described you perfectly. From the texture of your hair and the colour of your eyes to the size of your feet and the length of your legs. His heart caught in his throat as he flipped a few pages, hearing Ororo’s gasp of horror next to him.

4th September. 1932 Ex.3 – 12 pm - 9 am. Deprivation / Indulgence Subject 8. “Phantom” / Subject 5. “Solaris” Observer: Doctor R. Kreva.

Removed all objects from Sub.8’s and Sub.5’s observation chambers, and installed flood lighting on all surfaces. Sustain peak lighting in both chambers for 24 hours and record findings. Since 8 and 5 have similar DNA, they have both been selected for this experiment. Their mutations, whilst similar, are opposites. Two sides of the same coin. Will repeat experiment with darkness at a later date.

Hour 1 – No change in any subjects. Sub.5 seems extremely content with the change of atmosphere, it’s skin emits some kind of glow similar in colour and frequency to the light around.

Hour 2 – Still no notable changes. Sub.8 raised its head to look around the chamber, perhaps seeking refuge from the light. Only movement in the last two hours.

Hour 5 – Sub.8’s behaviour has become noticeably erratic, its eyes flickering all around the room, has yet to make a move. Sub.5 has remarkably begun creating its own lights, I have included a sketch of my findings below.

Hour 8 – Due to the lack of shadows, Sub.8’s movements have become peculiar. At times, fast and frantic, searching the room for refuge, whereas other times it would be slow and sluggish, barely able to lifts its head to look around.

Hour 10 – Much the same as Sub.8 in the dark, Sub.5 had disappeared completely. We can only assume, due to the similarity in their DNA, that Sub.5’s body has disintegrated into the light. Sub.8’s vitals are spiking and dipping seemingly randomly. Its body lags when it moves, almost glitching into shadow with every movement. Is this the molecules trying to release?

Hour 17 – Sub.5 has returned, its hair is now elevated above its head and its eyes no longer resemble that of a human’s. Where there should be an iris and pupil, there is now nothing but smouldering light. Sub.8 has begun writhing, parts of its body disintegrating and reforming where it lies. Is it in pain?

Hour 19 – Sub.8 has started to scream. It’s interesting. With every breath, its entire body shudders as if trying to phase through the fabric of light itself, like Sub.5 can do. Its fingers bleed from frantically clawing at the ground and blood is leaking from its nose. Will need a cleaning crew in hereafter. In contrast, Sub.5 Is now levitating approx. 5 inches from the ground.

Hour 20 – Sub.8’s condition has rapidly declined in the last hour, its skin seems to have veins of black spiderwebbing across its face, hands and feet. Must make notes to strip both subjects next experiment, but for now I must assume this continues across its body.

Hour 21 – Sub.8 has ceased all activity and now lies motionless. Vitals have dropped well below human sustainability, heart rate of 20 BPM, and blood pressure of 90/60 mmHg. How is it still alive? Sub.5 has begun wielding the light from its body. It seems as surprised by this as I am. It has been able to form duplicates of itself, objects, and what could be interpreted as a pair of wings. Could Sub.8 be capable of such things?

End of Hour 21 – Leaving the lights on for 24 hours would most likely be the death of Sub.8. With the slow decrease of light intensity, Sub.5 settled back to the floor, its eyes dimming before returning to what we shall now call the default state. Sub.8 remained motionless for another 2 minutes and 42 seconds before their body disintegrated. Interestingly, it couldn’t disappear before the lights were off completely. Saved footage of Sub.8’s disappearance, the infra-red camera pinpointing the moment its body broke apart. Fascinating. Placed them both back into the observation house, and monitored them for the next few days. Sub.5 is already up and around, behaving regularly. Sub.8 still rests in bed. How will this affect its interactions with other subjects?

Ex. Duration: 21 HOURS Ex. Outcome: Success Findings: See above. Memory erased: Last 21 hours Replacement memory: Cooking lesson, NLMO bonding Comments: Must remember to use the same memory for Subjects 2,3,4,6 and 7

Logan felt sick, bile rising in his throat as he blew out a shaky breath, checking the date three times to ensure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Ororo whimpered a small sob next to him, her eyes scanning the page, her hand covering her mouth in utter devastation. Kurt looked between the two of them, not knowing if he wanted to be involved in whatever horrors lay within that folder.

He couldn’t stop reading, some pages had notes about the life they made you believe you were living, a simulation world with the other seven, not dissimilar to the danger room. Only, every time you ‘went out on an errand’, or ‘went to work’, it was just a replacement memory for when they pulled you out for experimentations. Those were the pages that had shattered his very soul. What they did to you… How could they have been getting away with this for so long?

He continued flicking through, thumbing stacks of pages at a time before he settled on a less faded sheet, dated much more recently. He only read the first line before Ororo looked away, her head in her hands, Kurt bamfing next to her to hold her as she sobbed.

22nd September. 2008 Ex.1,243 6 pm-6:50 pm Pain Tolerance / Resilience Subject 8. “Phantom” Observer: Dr. J. Kreva

It has been noted that Sub.8’s tolerance for pain is exceptionally high. It can easily disappear with surface-level wounds and reappear as good as new. I want to test its durability to its limits and discover how deep we can wound it before we start leaving scars. In order to accomplish this without endangering Sub.8’s life, it will be stripped of clothing and strapped to the operating table and I have given us ten-minute windows. Using the same light-flooded room as Ex.3, a team will be entering the room with various appliances, following the strict instructions of careful harming, before leaving for the lights to be shut off. Sub.8 has been known to fight back, unlike its counterpart Sub.5, and we have lost good people to its unpredictability. So we will be using Sub.5 as a bargaining chip. It has been noted these two have some kind of relationship similar to that we would typically see in siblings. If Sub.8 refuses to cooperate, the team has permission to harm Sub.5 to whatever they deem necessary.

Each ten-minute window will be referred to as a cycle, due to the nature of the lighting we are implementing here.

Under no circumstances should either Subject be killed.

Cycle 1 – Team TS8 managed to coerce Sub.8 onto the table, strapping it down with efficiency. It has yet to fight back, but it has noticed Sub.5 in the corner. It likely knows the terms already. A small cut has been made on its left arm, with no visible response from Sub.8, however, Sub.5 flinched. Interesting. Team TS8 left the room, lights still on. Nothing to note, Sub.8 disappeared and reappeared with the lightning, with no sign of the small cut. Though it is no longer strapped to the table. I am glad we brought along Sub.5. After seeing its capabilities in the mirrored experiment of Ex.3 (please see Ex.4), Sub.5 will be an excellent bargaining chip to ensure those abilities are not put to use.

Cycle 2 – Team TS8 has already threatened to harm Sub.5 to get Sub.8 to cooperate. Nothing physical yet, only threats. It understood and climbed onto the table itself, allowing itself to be strapped down again. It has said nothing in these moments, simply stared. Due to our already collected knowledge and the two-hour time limit on this experiment, I have had to jump a few levels of pain. I have provided Team TS8 with a conical flask of concentrated hydrochloric acid. It seems the jump was necessary, Sub.8 reacted with subdued screams and desperate tugging on restraints. With the skin tissue of its right calf burned away, I can see its muscular system is almost identical to our own, tendons working in the same way. Though this is no groundbreaking discovery, it is still important to note. Team TS8 left the room along with Sub.5, who seemed reluctant. Sub.8’s breathing is erratic, and it claws at the table in a similar way it did during Ex.3. Does this have any practical benefit or is this simply to ease the pain? It disappears once again along with the lights, a burn scar remains on its leg when it returns.

Cycle 3 – Sub.5 had to be harmed. I didn’t want it to come to this, but Sub.8 wasn’t cooperating as well as I hoped it would. We removed Sub.8 and Team TS8 from the room and turned out the lights. Sub.8 thrashed against restraints as it watched Sub.5 be beaten from behind the door. It agreed to continue swiftly after. Sub.5’s wounds healed as the lights returned. Their bond is a fascinating one, and one I would like to explore further. Sub.8’s Trypanophobia has been noted in its records, having an extreme reaction to the sight of needles. I have provided Team TS8 with various sizes of serrated needles with a diagram of its body. The idea was to see whether Sub.8’s mutation could remove things from its body by disappearing and reforming, or whether obstructions could prevent this. Sub.8 seems panicked by the sight of needles, surely triggering its trypanophobia. Once again it thrashes on the table with each insertion, though it only cried out when pierced in the side of its neck and its inner thigh. Perhaps these are somewhat erogenous zones? Or particularly sensitive places? I will have to make comparisons to Sub.5. Team TS8 left along with Sub.5, who seems to be doing very little to stop the process, though is exhibiting signs of great discomfort. Once again, Sub.8 disappears along with the lights, and interestingly, the needles are left behind on the bed, along with copious amounts of its blood. Not sure the cleanup crew could get those stains out.

A sob wracked from Storm behind him, though Logan couldn’t find it in himself to tear his eyes away. They exploited your fears and used you to record responses for their sick, twisted gain. He grit his teeth, his jaw threatening to crack as his eyes continue to scan the page.

Cycle 4 – We have recorded Sub.8’s behaviour on the brink of death in Ex.3, however it was due to lack of shadow. There were no threats necessary to encourage Sub.8 back onto the bed, the needles having been carefully removed. The next stage is incredibly simple. Team TS8 sliced through each radial artery on either side of Sub.8’s wrists. I am not a man easily haunted by much, however I do believe Sub.5’s scream will live in my memory for quite some time. I have made sure to set the cutting of the lights long before Sub.8 has time to bleed out. Sub.5 had to be dragged from the room, however, I can observe Sub.8’s body performing the same motions as it was in Ex.3 around hour 19, however, there is a complete lack of vocal response. Its body keeps attempting to disappear, though it has nothing to dissolve into. It’s fascinating to watch, parts of its limbs shimmering jet black before settling again. It’s like the molecules want to disperse. The lights have dimmed far quicker than the last three times. Sub.8 has not moved from the table. It has not disappeared at all, but it is simply lying in wait. Does it wait to die? Perhaps we underestimated its resolve. I have sent Team TS8 back into the dark room, a knife held against Sub.5’s throat. If it doesn’t dissolve, I have instructed them to make a small incision against Sub.5’s neck. It didn’t need to get that far, Sub.8 saw the consequences and immediately dissolved, though it took far longer for it to return. Perhaps the more severe the wound, the longer it takes to reknit the body back together. Will have to perform further experimentation on this. Two more scars have reformed on either wrist. Interesting. Will need to inspect needle incisions later.

Cycle 5 – It’s dead. I’m certain. Due to the ignorance and fear of man, I have lost one of my most valuable subjects. A terrified guard shot it in the chest several times and burst into the experiment. He didn’t exactly aim for it, but rather for Sub.5. It seems the bond between 5 and 8 ran deeper than even I could comprehend, 8 didn’t think twice about putting itself between the guard, taking several bullets to the chest. Four, to be exact, before he was apprehended. I couldn’t get the lights off fast enough, having to override the system I’d set specifically for this experiment. I wasn’t fast enough, and 8 suffered for it. It’s been here for the last 80 years, and one man ruined everything. Its body is still in the room. I haven’t found the heart to move it yet. Sub.5’s memory of the incident has been erased by Sub.1 once again, and replaced with a severe argument between it and 8, resulting in 8 leaving. I will most likely be dead before I find a subject as valuable for mutant research as Phantom.

Ex. Duration: 50 MINUTES Ex. Outcome: Failure (subject fatality) Findings: I fear Mutants and Humans can never coexist Memory Erased: Experiment above, Sub.8’s death (for Sub.5 only) Memory Replacement: Severe argument. Comments: A devastating turn of events

Logan swallowed as he reached the bottom of the page. Was that how you escaped? Was that how you got out? They thought you were dead only for you to be able to heal from bullet wounds? Did you slip through the shadows? It took him a moment to think it over. No, that wasn't possible. The dates didn't add up. He turned the page over, seeing further notes scrawled on the back in pen rather than type.

22nd September, Ex.1,243 – Continuation. 1932, 11:42 pm.

The body has disappeared. I have kept the lights off since the incident at 6:50 and made the mistake of closing my eyes for a few minutes. When I opened them again, Sub.8 had disappeared. I sealed the doors immediately, hoping this meant it had somehow found the strength to dissolve back into shadow. Looking into the infrared camera, I have noticed the projectiles of bullets scattered where Sub.8 had fallen. Does this mean it’s recovering? Is it possible for it to recover from four bullet wounds to the centre of its chest?

12:08 am

Sub.8 has returned. Remarkable. Though there are clear scars on its chest and wrists, it seems to have almost completely healed from the incident. This is a staggering discovery. Will need to alter Sub.5’s memory once again.

Logan dropped the file, pages still spread apart as he took a step back. This couldn’t be real. None of this could be real. What you’d endured, what you’d suffered. The scars that remained. You were right, what you’d said this morning. Mental scars leave the same marks as physical ones. Your body had altered to the memories they’d forced into your mind. They couldn’t remove the scars, so they made you think you’d attempted to take your own life. Made you think you remembered getting into fights as a kid. He knew what mutant experimentation was like. He’d had a firsthand experience. But this was on a whole other level. What the fuck was this all for?

Now Charles’ words made sense. Some memories were left forgotten. He glanced back to the Professor, who nodded grimly as if to confirm all he’d seen. “My first act as headmaster of this school is to tap into the minds and memories of its students and teachers. Logan, trust me when I say, some things are better left in the past.”

He didn’t know what was right or wrong. Keeping this from you felt wrong but at the same time, you were happy with what you had. Was it already too late? Was that glasses-wearing motherfucker Dr. J. Kreva? How much had he told you? How much did you know?

“They were looking for her, weren’t they?” It was the first phrase he’d spoken since reading the file, pieces of your puzzle clicking into place. Charles simply nodded again.

“It’s not safe for her to be here anymore. For the students and her. They know where to find her now.”

“Then what to we do?” Ororo asked through heavy sniffles, teary eyes looking between you and the Professor.

“We take her off grid,” Hank said, setting down his glasses. He’d picked them up to read whatever was in that folder but quickly decided against it after seeing Storm’s reaction.

“But we can’t do that without good reason?” Kurt chimed in, casting worried glances around the room.

“Two years ago, I received signals from an environmental research facility we all believed to have been destroyed in a freak accident seven years prior. I sent Jean and Storm to assess the situation after the explosion, and that’s–”

“That’s where we found her and Jade… Oh my God, that was the site?” Ororo finished, her voice dripping with dread. “But… how did they escape? What happened?”

Charles sighed with resignation. “We don’t know. It would take searching her locked memories and risk pulling them to the surface to answer that question, and that wasn’t a gamble I was going to bet on, not after what I’d glimpsed in the past.”

Logan could barely hear any of this. His ears were ringing, white noise clouding his senses as he just stared at you. Your whole life had been a lie. A jumble of nonsense knitted into your memories by another mutant, reality locked away within the darkest depths of your head. He didn’t know what to do. His urge to protect you from this new threat fought with the urge to protect you from your own past.

“The decision should be hers.” He interrupted the ongoing conversation, moving to take your hand and press a kiss to the scar on your wrist. “Whether she remembers or not. Explain to her what you said to me, and let her decide.” It was the only course of action he could see. The room fell into silence, all contemplating the suggestion before Charles moved forward to the file on the ground, picking it up and closing it.

“Wherever you take her, wherever you hide her, take this with you. You can’t tell me where you’re going, and I won’t search for you. The less people who know, the better.” He instructed, and Logan nodded, setting the folder to the side. “When she wakes up, we’ll–”

“When she wakes up, you’ll what?”

The room had been too caught up in their conversations to notice you stirring from your tranquiliser-induced nap. “You know, I seem to spend a concerning amount of my time unconscious these days.” You sat up slowly, the heel of your palm braced against your forehead as if to help the slight pounding at your temples.

Logan was at your side in a single stride, his hands cupping the sides of your face delicately, as if holding you any tighter would cause you to break. Your relieved smile when you saw him broke his heart. “Hey Lo’.”

Though that smile faded as he didn’t return it, his eyes brimming with an emotion your groggy head couldn’t quite place.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He responded, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead, and it was as if that was all you needed for your headache to fade. You held one of his palms against your cheek, leaning into his touch.

“How long was I out?”

“Around four hours or so. You feelin’ okay?” Concern. That was the emotion you couldn’t pinpoint a moment ago. Concern and… heartbreak?

“Yeah… ‘m fine. Who died?” You asked, trepidation lacing your tone as you stole glances at the others in the room. Ororo had tears in her eyes, Kurt’s arm still wrapped around her shoulders in comfort. Hank looked more bleak than you’d ever seen him, his hands clasped together as if in mourning. You continued scanning the room, Charles offering you a look of sympathy before your eyes landed on the folder Logan had set down. It was like a trigger had been fired in your brain, hazy memories of before you fell unconscious rushing back to you in one big hurricane.

“Oh.” Was all you could say, and Logan wrapped his arms around your head in response, smoothing gently touches against your hair as you basked in the comfort of his embrace.

“How much do you know?”

#wolverine x reader #logan x reader #logan howlett x reader #james logan howlett #logan howlett #x men logan #x men wolverine #x men x reader #logan smut #logan howlett fanfiction #the wolverine x reader #the wolverine #essa's works

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babydollmarauders · 1 year

Text

CLUMSY — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: quinn and luke realize how clumsy y/n is after noticing how often jack unconsciously keeps her from harm

notes: y/n is written sensitive and clumsy! also, i wrote this on saturday to have something to post this week while i’m unable to write <3

i’ve met my boyfriends family on numerous occasions since we started dating in october. mostly through quick trips such as Quinn coming into town for a game against the Devils and whatnot, but this is my first time spending an elongated amount of time with them and i have this irrational fear that they’ll dislike me.

Jack has assured me multiple times since we’ve arrived at the lake house for the summer that i have no reason to worry, but it’s been four days and i still feel like they’re forming their opinions on me. so, i’ve taken it upon myself to do whatever i can in order to get them to like me; including my current task of baking cookies.

“you know they already love you, right?” Jack asks, standing at the counter beside me, observing as i mix the dry ingredients into a bowl. “you don’t need to bake them cookies.”

“are you saying you don’t want my sea salt chocolate chip cookies?” i keep focused on the task at hand, my sight never leaving the measuring cup as i scoop the flour into the bowl.

“now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” a hearty chuckle escapes his lips as he maneuvers himself behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist as he clings himself to me, his cheek resting pressed against my shoulder blade. “i definitely want your cookies. i’m just saying that my brothers don’t need them.”

i giggle as his fingers tickle at the bits of my sides where my shirt has risen, arching my back to try and escape his hands. Jack groans as i break free from his grip, but i assume it’s mostly due to his brothers entering the kitchen.

“ooh, what are you making?” Luke wonders, coming to a stop on the opposite side of the counter.

“cookies!” i grin, finally looking up as i finish the dry ingredients.

“yum.” Quinn chimes in, sidling into the spot beside Luke. he peers into the bowl and his brows furrow slightly. “y/n, that’s just powder?”

i bark out a laugh at the clueless boy.

“Quinny, you have to mix the dry ingredients first. then the wet ingredients such as eggs, butter and vanilla. and then you mix them both together to form the dough.” i explain. i scan the countertop, making sure i have each item needed for the next step. “i need another bowl.”

i bend down, opening the lower cupboard and reaching for the metal mixing bowl inside.

“Trevor texted me this morning.” i hear Jack inform the boys.

“yeah? when’s he coming up?” Quinn asks.

“in two weeks. but Alex is getting here tomorrow.” Jack says. i shut the cupboard door, stretching my legs to rise back up from my position. my head bumps Jack’s hand, wrapped around the lip of the counter above where i was bent.

my left hand rubs the top of the back of my head super quick as i set the mixing bowl on the counter. i glance back up as Luke and Quinn share an amused look and my face scrunches in confusion.

what did i miss?

Jack’s left arm rests on my shoulders, my face half buried into his chest as he scrolls on his phone. Quinn and Luke sit in armchairs on opposite sides of the couch as Alex sits on the opposite side of Jack. a movie plays on the tv, but i’m momentarily distracted by Ellen walking past the back of the couch, calling out a goodnight.

“goodnight El!” i call back as she makes her way to the stairs, the boys all muttering their own goodnight’s.

“brunch tomorrow, while the boys golf?” she asks, confirming our plans. i nod and she grins, blowing a kiss towards the group of us as she finally walks up the stairs.

“you guys are going to brunch tomorrow? without us?!” Luke asks, his hand coming up to his chest in mock offense.

“you guys are going golfing tomorrow, without us! it’s only fair.” i laugh and Alex chuckles.

“y/n/n, you don’t even like golf. you said it’s boring and called it ‘watered down hockey’.” Alex points out as i burrow back into Jack’s side.

“shh, i’m watching the movie.” i shush him, making the boys laugh. Jack turns back to his phone and i watch through one peeked open eye as he double taps on his teammate’s most recent instagram post before typing out some nonsense comment that i’ll never understand.

pulling back, i lock my eyes on the remote on the coffee table. sliding forward some, i lean, stretching my fingertips out to try and grab it. finally getting ahold of it, i go to lean back, wobbling forward and accepting my fate. i brace myself to fall before feeling a hand grab onto the back of my shirt. yanking me back, Jack pulls me back into his side, his eyes still glued to his phone. i heave out a small relieved sigh as i press a kiss to his chest before turning the volume up on the tv.

i glance around the living room to the other boys, gauging how interested they are in the movie, but Luke and Quinn are exchanging a look. Luke biting back a smile as Quinn smirks.

what did i miss this time?

with the boys friends all finally arriving, the lake house has become much too crowded to hang out inside. so instead we’re all outside, gathered around a fire that was once blazing but now dwindling. my boyfriend jokes around with Cole and Trevor, Luke speaking with his University of Michigan teammates, Ethan and Dylan, and lastly Quinn sits sipping a beer as he chats with Alex and the Tkachuk’s.

making myself scarce in order to not cling to my boyfriends side as he tries to enjoy himself, i text with my own friends from back in New Jersey as i balance on the edge of the brick fire pit, circling it as i type.

“be careful, babe.” Jack warns me, and i grin and throw him a thumbs up. he barely gives me a second glance before Trevor takes up his attention, reciting a story of something that happened to he and his friend Jamie back in California.

i continue pacing around on the elevated bricks, typing a long winded message to Leah, explaining why she shouldn’t call her ex. as i pass by my boyfriend once more, i’m not paying as close attention as i probably should be, my foot getting a little too close to the inner edge as i start to slip.

a hand grips my elbow, pulling me back to a standing position before i can fall into the fire and i look over to see Jack, his attention still on Trevor and his hand wrapped around my arm as he nods his head at his friend while he continues ranting. i give a light pat to Jack’s shoulder to let him know i’m fine and he releases his grip.

slipping my phone into my pocket, i continue my journey around the fire pit again, this time with more of my focus going into keeping upright. passing Luke, i see him looking away from his friends, and i follow his line of sight to his brother, Quinn looking right back at him. both wear an entertained appearance and i look around to see if i can find what they’re smiling about but come up empty-handed.

why do i keep missing these things?

with today being one of the hottest days of the summer, we’re all crowded on the boat. most of the group lounges around conversing with one another, Luke currently taking his turn wakesurfing as music blares from Quinn’s bluetooth speaker.

i’m sat in Jack’s lap, rubbing my third layer of sunscreen on my legs and the tops of my feet.

“babe, i think you’ve got enough.” Jack laughs, his hands grip my waist to keep me from falling as i’m leaned forward.

“i just wanna make sure. the UV index is super high today and you know how easily i burn.” i tell him, sitting back upright as i flip the cap of the sunscreen closed once more.

“i know, sugar. but we’ve only been out here for two hours and that’s your third time applying it. i think you’re okay for a while.” he takes the lotion from my hands, handing the bottle over to Cole. “put that in the bag next to you, eh?”

Cole nods, placing the sunscreen into the waterproof zip up bag i brought on the boat.

“y/n/n! c’mere!” Luke shouts, making me untangle myself from Jack. i rise to my feet, shuffling over to the back of the boat and leaning over to get closer in order to hear him better.

“you gonna let her get that close to the edge, Rowdy?” Quinn questions, making the boys laugh.

“what?” Jack asks. “what do you mean?”

“she’s a bit clumsy, is she not? we’ve noticed you all summer, keeping her from hurting herself.” Quinn replies through chuckles. even Alex, who drives the boat barks out a laugh.

“wait, when did i do that?” Jack wonders.

“all the time! you weren’t even paying attention when you did it!” Luke shouts and i stick my tongue out at him before turning to observe the boys.

“there was the first time Luke and i noticed it, when you wrapped your hand over the counter to make sure she didn’t hit her head. and you were right to do so because she bumped it right on your hand.” Quinn explains.

“or when she was reaching off the couch to grab the remote and you caught her by her shirt to keep her from falling. and you didn’t even look up from your phone as you did it!” Luke says as he climbs back on the boat.

“or how about when she was balancing on the fire pit and you caught her by the arm to keep her from falling straight into the fire. while you kept all your attention on Trevor. didn’t even look, you just reached a hand out and grabbed her.” Quinn provides another example. “i can go on.”

“i didn’t even realize i was doing all that.” Jack shrugs, glancing towards me. “i guess it’s just unconscious reaction. i’ve gotten used to it by now.”

“i’m not clumsy.” i pout, crossing my arms over my chest.

“it’s okay, it’s not necessarily a bad thing!” Trevor attempts to comfort me. i give him a side-eye, making my way over to Jack. but before i can sit in his lap, i slip. Jack’s arms wrap around my waist to keep me from dropping to the floor, pulling me down onto his thighs instead.

“you are pretty clumsy, babe.” one of Jack’s arms stays planted across my waist, holding me to him as his index finger pushes my chin up so i’m looking up at him. “but, it’s adorable.”

i bury my face in his chest out of embarrassment. i didn’t think i was clumsy. i mean, i know i’ve always been a bit accident prone; broken glasses, falling a bit more than my friends. but i didn’t think i was clumsy.

“it’s nothing to be ashamed of, y/n.” Quinn tells me. Jack’s hand trails up and down my back as he whispers reassurances in my ear.

“yeah, we didn’t mean to embarrass you or anything.” Luke pipes up once more, his voice seeping with regret.

“that’s why you kept looking at each other all the time.” my words are muffled by Jack’s chest, but by the way that Jack coos as he places a kiss on the top of my head, i know they heard them. “you were laughing at me.”

“we weren’t. i swear we weren’t.” Quinn’s voice is closer now, and i feel another hand touch my back. “we were laughing with you. we just thought it was funny that Jack didn’t even notice when he was doing it.”

“honest?” i question.

“honest. i promise.” my head rises at Luke’s voice, closer now as well. his hand comes up to rest on my knee and i look over to see him squatted down beside Jack and i, Quinn sitting next to us.

“i didn’t realize i was clumsy.” i confess. “i just thought it was normal.”

“i gotta say, you’re definitely the first girlfriend i’ve ever had to pull away from falling into an actual fire.” Jack chuckles, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “but i wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“really?”

“really. i love you. clumsiness and all.” he tells me. his grip gets tighter around me and i crane my neck to crash my lips into his.

“ugh, gross!” Trevor exclaims. Jack pulls back, leaning his forehead against mine.

“shut up, Z.” he grins, pulling me into one more kiss. “now, you ready to learn how to wakesurf?”

“yeah, no. even before i knew i was considered clumsy, i knew i wasn’t going out there. i’ll fall straight on my face, Jacky. i mean seriously, i’m a clutz!”

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb #nj devils #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #faithlynn’s writings <3

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cillsworld · 3 months

Text

My devotion to you✧₊⁺

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Ship|Jonathan Crane x fem!reader

Summary|you fall for your corrupt psychiatrist and he takes advantage of that.

Word Count|2765

Warnings|smut(18+!), age gap, abuse of power?, mentions of violent acts, oral(m rec!), rough sex, forced breeding!, baby trapping, (very) mild use of fear gas, mentions of drugs.

Notes|Jonathan is canonically 26 and reader is 18, reader is horny asf which is so real honestly like girl is down baddddddd. Also this is my second fic/piece of writing ever so that's cool, honestly it's a bit repetitive but I don't hate it sooo enjoy!

masterlist

You had always been an aggressive individual, constantly getting into fights both verbal and physical, being a headache to your parents, teachers, fellow peers and sometimes even the police.

Their last straw was when you beat a girl to unconsciousness for whatever irrational reason your brain had come up with and decided that you needed to be confined in a nut-house in order to change.

The first few days you were here, you were kept in solitary confinement with a straight-jacket to contain you from scratching your own eyeballs out, if you weren't insane before, that experience surely confirmed it.

But your disdain for the asylum went away as soon as your first session with Dr. Crane started, in high-school you were never big on crushes or boys really, since they all looked like wet rats and you couldn't bring yourself to be attracted to them.

That all changed when you saw the man that was meant to be your psychiatrist, Dr. Crane was the only thing keeping your remaining sanity intact, the man was so breathtakingly beautiful that all you ever did in your free-time was fantasize about him and count down the minutes to when you'd get to see him again.

Each session would consist of your failed attempts to flirt with him while he tried to bring your attention back towards the topic at hand, he was also the only psychiatrist you hadn't been violent against, that's why he was the one who actually stayed, just like you wanted him to.

So here you were, a smile present on your face as he walked into the room where you sat, confined by a straight jacked but nonetheless excited to see him, "you look unusually giddy today, what's the occasion?" He questioned while taking a seat across from you, looking down at the clipboard in-hand as he adjusted his glasses.

"I'm getting to see you after a whole week!" You responded with a giggle, leaning over the desk a bit as you usually did to get a better look at him, he looked back up with a raised eyebrow and sighed.

"Maybe if you didn't attack that man in the cafeteria, you wouldn't have been kept in solitary for a week and you would be able to see me earlier" he spoke with that usual stern tone of his, his words making you frown immediately, he looked and sounded so upset with you that you wanted to cry on the spot.

"He took my apple! What else was I supposed to do?" You retorted defensively almost immediately, jumping up a bit, all he did was stare at you, with that look that he knew would make you contemplate everything you just did, you calmed down and slumped back in your chair with that cute, conflicted look on your face.

"I'm sorry for yelling doctor Crane, are you mad at me?" You questioned quietly, your voice going soft and barely above a whisper, he swallowed with pursed lips before looking back down at his clipboard, writing something down that you tried to peer over to get a look at.

"No.. No, I'm not mad" he responded dismissively with a shake of his head, "but I have to say, this session isn't starting quite the way I had hoped" he continued making your expression falter, looking back up at you, "don't you think you've given me enough trouble for the week?"

"I gave you trouble doctor Crane?" You questioned with confusion lacing your voice and expression, leaning over the table with furrowed eyebrows, hugging yourself tighter then you were being forced to.

"Yes. I wasn't going to tell you but your little outburst caused me a lot of trouble with my seniors, they think I'm not making progress with you fast enough and they should give you to someone else" you immediately opened your mouth to protest when he said that but a raise of his hand signaling you to keep quiet was enough to make you shut yourself up.

"Now, I'm going to need you to be well-behaved for this session or I might as well hand you over" he threatened, almost daring you to challenge his words, "so.. Are you going to be good for me today?"

God why'd he have to word it like that, you quickly nodded while absentmindedly rubbing your thighs together, "yes I will Doctor Crane, I promise!" You responded, perking up and he nodded muttering a small "good", almost smirking at your compliance of anything he says in response to the simplest threat of being away from him.

“Now, I want you to tell m-“ you couldn’t help but cut him off, at this point it was a habit of yours and a casual occurrence, “what’s in that box doctor crane?” You questioned with a tilted head, nodding towards the briefcase that he’d brought in for the first time.

Usually your interruption would annoy him but this time it caused a rush of excitement in him, “I’m glad you asked darling..” your face heated up at the nickname that he called you rarely, every time he had said it, it had caught you off guard.

He opened the little black briefcase and as soon as he did the air felt different, heavy, your heartbeat had started to rapidly increase and every inch of your skin was becoming sweaty and clammy as anxiety filled you and your brain went panic mode.

”What’s in there doctor Crane?” You continued with the questioning now looking as if you were incredibly sick, your skin pale and flushed, “this, is a special creation of mine.. it’s what I use to keep extreme cases in line..”

His voice gradually became more raspy and deeper as he talked about it, looking into the briefcase with so much admiration that you almost wished you were it.

“I don’t like it..” you mumbled weakly as he brought it closer to you, instinctively leaning back as he did so, your vision going a bit blurry as your stared down into it, Crane on the other hand scoffed at your words.

“You aren’t supposed to like it" he replied in an almost snappy tone, closing it shut as he did so, "my dear, I need you to understand that if you keep misbehaving as you have recently.."

"I won't hesitate to give you an actually proper dose of what is in here" he patted the case as if to emphasize his point and you let out a soft gasp, "why would you do that doctor crane? I said I was sorry.." Your voice shaky and quiet, starting to understand why those patients you'd overhear would always talk of Crane as if he was the devil.

"You're already scared?" The way he said your name had a mocking undertone in it that you hadn't yet heard from him, "I said if you misbehave" he felt like a broken record, constantly repeating the same things and not getting much progress in return and frankly it was starting to annoy him too much for your own good.

He saw that sense of relief wash over you at his words, he couldn't help but want to ruin that peace and bring back the look in your eyes that sent his heart racing, "or.. I could give you a demo right now?"

"No-" you cut him off quickly, "that.. That's not necessary" you couldn't quite put a pin on the look in his eyes, was it amusement? Excitement? Either way it gave you a rush of adrenaline you enjoyed.

"are you sure about that? because I have an inkling that you'll get me in trouble yet again, if you don't learn that your actions have consequences" he was so serious, more then usual, while speaking that you couldn't even try to trick yourself into thinking he was bluffing.

"I would never do anything to get you in trouble.. Not- not on purpose" you spoke hesitantly, not trusting your words at all, "really?" He mocked with raised eyebrows, "if you're really that devoted to me why don't you prove it?" He spoke in a bored tone, leaning back in his chair as he did so.

"how do I do that?" You questioned quickly, a subtle pout on your face, "I don't know" he retorted with a click of his tongue, "you tell me.."

As soon as the idea came to your brain your heart went racing, maybe you escalated things too quickly, dropping to your knees and scooting under the table to go towards Jonathan, when you peaked out of the table from in between his legs to make contact with his widened eyes, you tried not to smile, "I can pleasure you? To prove my devotion of course.."

"well that's certainly an idea.." As usual his tone was hard to read, he really was contemplating, he'd have to admit the sight of you between his legs batting your eyelashes at him was a pretty one, if that wasn't enough to make him uncomfortably hard you being in a straight jacket on top of that made it harder for him to refuse.

"get one chance and you become a bitch in heat.." His voice was so low that you almost didn't catch what he said and you almost wished you didn't, your cheeks heated up and you opened your mouth in protest but he quickly clasped a hand over your mouth, shutting you up.

"if we're going to do this I'm gonna need you to stay quiet okay?" He told you and you quickly nodded, "good, now get to work" he said dismissively before removing his hand and leaning back in his chair, unzipping his pants and pushing it down just enough that it'd be past his hips and you could see the outline of his cock through his boxers.

It seemed almost uncomfortable as the boxers seemed like they'd burst open any minute with how his cock was straining against them, your mouth was watering at the sight though you looked up at him in confusion when he made no move to take the boxers off.

He raised an eyebrow looking down at you, "what? I really need to spell it out for you?" His tone was so obviously condescending that you almost felt ashamed it was turning you on, "your hands may be useless but you still have a good set of teeth princess, use it"

So you did, craning up your neck to take the hem of his boxers between your teeth and slowly pull them down enough to release him from, you almost gasped at the sight of him, he was a little above average in length and girthy enough to make you question if you could fit him properly in your mouth.

You stuck your tongue out and licked a strip under it from the base till the tip of his cock, taking the head in your mouth, licking the pre-cum, his hand came up to take a fist full of your hair startling you, "speed up darling, I don't have all day" he told you in an unamused tone.

You swallowed him halfway and started bobbing your head, hollowing your cheeks in an effort to impress him, your body pressed up against his legs as you moaned around him.

All you got in response was a little groan, his grip on your hair tightened and he started pushing your head up and down at a faster pace, pushing you deeper each time, you looked up at him to see his flushed face and pretty blue eyes roll to the back of his head as he cursed under his breathe.

The sight sent waves of pleasure to your core and made you uncomfortably wet, "that's it princess, put your pretty mouth to good use" he muttered under his breathe as his thrusts became faster and more desperate.

Suddenly he pushed you all the way down and you eyes widened from surprise, gagging around him for a moment as you tried to adjust to the foreign breaching of your throat, your nose pushed into his trimmed hair as you whined, looking up at him through watering eyes, he let out a soft with at the sight.

"oh don't cry darling.." He spoke with feign sympathy, "this is what you wanted right? To pleasure me?" He mocked as you whined once more, instinctively trying to pull back for air, he let you go after a few moments, only giving you a few seconds to breathe before pushing you down again.

He bobbed you at the same place, letting himself bask in the pleasure as you gagged and choked with each thrust, it went on for a bit before he completely pulled you off and up so he could see you properly, standing on your knees a line of spit was connected from the base of his cock to your lips.

He reveled in the sight of your flushed face with tears streaming down it, messy hair and chest heaving, "good.. You did good darling.." He said under his breath, patting your cheek a bit too harshly, "but you didn't cum doctor crane.." You responded quietly, a pout on your glossy lips.

"oh that's not for you to worry about" he responded dismissively before standing up and pulling you with him, making you whimper from the pressure on your scalp, he turned you around before shoving you on the table and you let out a squeak of surprise.

"what're you doing doctor crane?" You questioned quietly, even though you knew the answer specially when he reached for the hem of your trousers, you wanted him to tell you.

"m'gonna fuck you baby.. " his raspy voice responded while undressing your lower half as blood rushed towards your face, "you can see it as a reward for your hard work.."

You could feel the head of his cock rubbing on your cunt, you squirmed and pushed back against him with a whine, urging him on, he grabbed your hair yet again and pulled you up, bending your body uncomfortably as he leaned down, "stop being so desperate darling, it's not a good color on you.."

Before you even had time to process it he pushed almost all the way in and your jaw dropped as a loud moan escaped you, his grip on your hair tightened as your expression contorted from the pain and pleasure of it all, eyes fluttering shut.

"fuck, I knew you'd have a tight little cunt from the moment I saw you" he breathed out, staying still for the moment to let the both of you adjust before pulling all the way out till the tip and then thrusting in again, repeating the process as loud moans escaped you.

"thought I told you to stay quiet earlier.." He muttered before letting your hair go and untying his tie, "but that's just how you bitches are huh? Get a good cock in you and you lose all control of yourself" you whined in protest but not for long before he gagged you with his tie and tied it behind your head.

He held your hips up as his thrusts soon resumed, letting you lay limp on the rocking table, squirming and mewling as he chased his own release, he reached a hand down to start rubbing at your clit with enough pressure to make you see stars and clench tightly around his dick, making him release a loud groan.

"pussy so tight she's fuckin chocking me.." He turned you around, deciding he wanted to see your face while you both came, see your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your legs shook from the pleasure, he didn't falter in his thrusts while you came, not caring if he was over stimulating you and more focused on his release.

Even though your head felt blank and too foggy to form a coherent thought you could feel him twitching inside you and wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, making sure he came deep inside you.

Once her came off his high he quickly pulled out, "fuck, what did you do.." He panted out, raising one of your legs up to get a good look of his come dripping out of your hole and down your ass.

"now why would you do that?" He questioned; knowing you weren't allowed to or were on birth control, rising up and removing your makeshift gag, as soon as he did you craned up to kiss his stiff form.

"I love you Jonathan" you told him after pulling away with a smile, not bothering to answer his 'silly' question, all while he stayed a bit frozen, now realizing that he'd gotten himself into major shit.

#cillian murphy #jonathan crane #cillian murphy x reader #jonathan crane x you #jonathan crane x reader #cillian murphy x you #dc #cillsworld

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twstfanblog · 10 days

Text

*~Period Drama~* Romance Era Octavinelle

|| Heartslabyul || Savanaclaw || Octavinelle || Scarabia || Pomefiore + Ignihyde || Diasomnia ||

It started off as a normal afternoon. You and your boyfriend just laid down for an impromptu nap, cuddled close together and safe in each other's arms. So you can imagine their surprise when they wake up to find the bed spotted with blood. Pulling the blankets back, they see the blood coming from you...

FIRST REACTION

Azul

Woke up confused. Couldn't find out what he was smelling that was distressing him so much. Then he realized he was smelling blood, and then he realized the blood was coming from YOU.

Woke you up softly panicking, telling you that you had to get up and come with him to the infirmary.

The cramps kick in while he's trying to get you up and OW. It only makes him start panicking more.

He's on the phone with the Tweels when you manage to wake up enough to tell Azul everything is fine. He does NOT believe you and tells the twins that you're suffering blood loss.

By the time the Tweels showed up, you've started explaining to Azul what a period is and he is HORRIFIED.

Jade

Snapped awake the second you bled through your bottoms. Bro was dreaming of the woods and then suddenly he's in red waters.

Woke you up because he was trying to figure out where you were bleeding from. Poor eel is trying to check for a stab wound and is just confused about the location the blood seems to be coming from.

You better savor this, Jade is only going to be flustered and openly concerned until you manage to explain to him what a period is.

Because once you do tell him he is FASCINATED. Big ole smile while he starts to massage your back and asking you to tell him more.

He will be running experiments, best of luck to you.

Floyd

Woke you up by flipping you. Just full-on gripped you by the hips and yanked. Boy woke up smelling blood and pinpointed where it was coming from in two nanoseconds.

Because of the blood, he woke up fucked up, now he's pissed you're bleeding. Not sure if he's more pissed about the fact he doesn't know why you're bleeding or that someone potentially came in to hurt you, and they got past him.

Either way, you got a grumpy clingy eel wrapping around your whole body.

Once you fully wake up and realize what's happening, explain it to him. It'll take a few tries but then he tells you that's a horrible idea and you shouldn't do it. Bloods suppose to stay inside, shrimpy...

Immediately tried to squeeze the period out of you.

HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY?

Azul

You've never met a man more terrified yet supportive in your life.

He refuses to get too close to you and will send the tweels to deliver any gift or food he has for you. That octo breeding practice of females killing males that annoy them during mating season is screaming at him. It's for his own peace of mind he stays away.

While he won't get too close, he is literally pampering you from a distance. You get a daily delivery of luxury pillows, gourmet chocolates, scent oils, bath bombs, and high-quality heated blankets. He's got the tweels making your every meal if he isn't the one doing it.

Please text and call him on the phone though. While he's terrified of being close to you, he misses you so fucking much and he wishes he could get over his irrational fear of being eaten by you.

If you have PMS, he is SHAKING. He's fighting for his damn life just to keep you from being pissed at him. Another 'Agrees with you to save his life' kinda man.

Jade

Hm, you don't wanna eat this suspicious mushroom that's been chopped into your food? Are you sure? Just try a bite, you might like it.

Jade is supportive, but he's also JADE. Two parts a loving partner, one part the most annoying piece of shit this side of the coastline.

He's been trying since day one to get you to eat mushrooms with paralyzing and hallucinogenic properties under the guise 'They'll be helpful'. While feeling completely numb for hours on end WOULD help the cramps, you're not too sure how tripping balls is gonna do you any favors.

Teasing butler style, he temporarily moved into Ramshackle. He will fluff up your pillows, handle the blood-stained laundry, and he will even make you a nonmushroom-filled dinner.

If you cry at ALL during your period he will be stunned lock before jumping into comforting you. He can smell the hormonal difference and so he knows you're a lot more sensitive then normal about his teasing. Lowkey kinda likes it, treats it like a game on what the limit for that day is.

Floyd

This motherfucker might as well be PMSing along with you. Are you sad? Ok then, he's sad now, too; what's the matter, Shrimpy? Happy? Cool! He's in a pretty good mood, too! Pissed off? Well, now he's gotta break somebody's bones. Who are we mad at?

Emotionally, he is on the same vibe as you, and to some it can be ANNOYING, but others find it so nice to have someone to have the same feelings with you in that moment.

The goal of the week is to keep Shrimpy happy. He's getting you snacks, little gifts, lots of cuddling. While he's mad, he can't physically squeeze your period out, the pressure and folding you up during a squeeze does helps the pain.

One of the few boys who really notices the bloating. Loves how you got squishier. While cold isn't as effective, it can still help ease period pains. Enjoy being held in bed lovely like a soft pretzel while cold hands are pressed right on your lower stomach.

Does his best to seriously support and help you, but is kind of a hardass and gets just as pissy as you do.

AFTER THE FACT

Azul

He survived but at the cost of knowing this was going to happen again...Well, time to prepapre to be the best lover by next month or so HELP HIM-

For how terrified he's been the past week, he starts that GRIND to better understand your period and starts tracking it.

Takes your period as this grand research challenge since periods don't exist in Twist, the only source he has is you and the period itself. It's a race against the clock to gain info on how to better tend to you.

Please just let him hold and kiss you for a few hours too. Being away from you for days on end was not enjoyable. He's also gonna work on his irrational fear of you killing him so that he KISS HIS DAMN DATEMATE.

Has your next period marked down on his personal calendar. But if you're early or late he'll start acting cagey again. He will trick Floyd into asking if you're on your period or getting jade to mind trick it out of you.

Jade

Well, that was terrible, worst week of his life so far, honestly. Hm? Was your period that bad? Now, why do you think he was talking about your period?

Asks coy about the whole event for no reason other than the fact you're concerned about how he feels and managed through the whole thing.

With his smelling skills, he's made way more aware of the various hormonal changes you do over the course of the month leading up to the next period.

So, sorry, but be prepared for little stress tests CONSTANTLY. You made the mistake of telling Jade that a period can change on multiple factors like diet and stress.

He'll do the stress tests but if you really truly hate it he will become sneakier stop doing them as much. He really does want to understand better. Both for his own thirst to understand how you tick and to help out more for the next period.

Floyd

That sucked, but it's over right? You don't need to do it again?...What do you mean it's a monthly thing?

Your period was a really weird time that he's already forgotten like the day after it's over. It was lowkey just another week to him, only he got to be around his shrimpy as an emotional support eel so that was great!

Didn't really do anything to prepare for the next one. He managed to get through the period just fine and was lowkey pretty great at it. He does make the smallest mental note of the stuff he cooked for you that you really liked. He starts experimenting with the recipes and trying to make them even tastier. Just for his shrimpy.

With the super eel-smelling, he does notice the difference in your hormones more now that he's aware of it. He will start sniffing at you whenever you change cycles, he tells you that you ovulating smells like you're in heat.

Constantly forgets about your period until it happens again.

HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY? ♡NSFW♡

Azul

Trying to get Azul to fuck was already a mental battle. The fact he's biologically wired to be very cautious during sex because his partner might kill him? You're gonna have to ask the Tweels to catch him, because you're not.

You gotta debate your ass off just to get him to sit next to you. but once you're able to get him talking, your only choice is to do a contract where you PROMISE you're not going to kill him mid-sex because you got annoyed or hungry.

Once the contract is in place, he's much more willing to help out. Takes it as a challenge honestly. Works to make you cum so hard you pass out (only then will he be safe).

If you're REALLY LUCKY, he'll get into one of the big tubs Octavinelle has to change into his merform. Being much bigger than you really helps his anxiety and fear with the whole act. Plus, his tentacles are...very helpful.

Jade

Remember when I said there were only four people I canon as sucking the period out of you? That was a lie, there are six.

Letting it slip that orgasms help with the cramps was honestly one of the worst things you could have done. He already fucks you like it's torture, winding you up for hours on end before letting you cum only to do it all over again.

Once he knows, he orchestrates you not being able to take any pain relief so that you have to ask him to help. This is for you of course, but it's mostly so he can get a taste.

He's going to tease you the whole time; lots of fingering, massaging, and licking. Your thighs are gonna be raw from all the bites he's giving you while he's down there.

Floyd

Number three on the 'Who'd Suck the Period Out of You' group. Does it with ease, does it with your legs wrapped around his head. Squeeze them harder Shrimpy, he can still breathe, you're terrible at this.

Fucking Floyd is already a dangerous game, you wanna add blood to it??? You're stronger than I am. He's already a wild card in the bed, introducing blood to the mix only ups the possibility of him going insane with his dick inside you.

Another that's about to bite you the fuck up. God speed soldier...

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #octavinelle #octavinelle x reader #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #azul x reader #jade x reader #floyd x reader

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sweetestcaptainhughes · 2 months

Text

What are you trying to say? - Trevor Zegras

Word Count - 3600

Author's Note - I 100 percent projected my own dysleixia hardcore into this. This was 100 percent written for the dyslexic girlies and learning disability girlies only. Also not me accidentally maybe becoming a Trevor girlie after writing this oh no. This one is by far my favorite segment.

Warnings - light angst but like it ends happy shocking for this page, who am I becoming???

Summary - In the talking stage with Trevor Zegras you're not sure how his joking personality will respond to your struggles that you have with being an adult with dyslexia, especially since it doesn't affect you how media expects it to.

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

This isn’t something new to you, you’ve struggled your entire life with the fact that you're dyslexic. It’s a lot more complicated than people may recognize. Many people assume that it only comes up when you're trying to read something like a textbook or an article, and that when you’re finished with school it won’t really affect your daily life anymore but that’s far from the truth. In truth, being an adult with dyslexia affects you in little ways daily. From having difficulty knowing your left and right when given verbal directions, your spelling being terrible when texting others, mispronouncing certain words and being easily embarrassed when it gets pointed out, or worse sometimes the word is literally on the tip of your tongue you can even physically see in your brain but your mouth can’t form the proper sounds, how certain fonts you struggle to read vs others, or that black ink on white paper is the bane of your existence. Although all of these are “little” things, it does impact the way you communicate with others. It does feel extremely frustrating sometimes feeling like people think that you're using your dyslexia as an “excuse” when in reality your brain is wired completely differently because of it.

Since you first met Trevor and started talking to him, you had that fear you always do in the pit of your stomach, will he pick on you the first time that he truly can’t understand a text or the first time he hears you mispronounce a word despite years of speech therapy where you tried to but still you can’t pronounce correctly. Although, part of you knew that your fear was extremely irrational, part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that was until proven otherwise the jokester in Trevor would make a joke about something you truly couldn’t control.

That is until today, when it happened it’s one of those rare days when you were driving and Trevor was in the passenger seat. His car was in the shop, and he needed a ride back from the arena to his apartment. Originally he was going to take an Uber but since you both already had plans after the morning skate you insisted on picking him up.

“It’s easiest if you take this right up here to get back to my place.” He directs you without looking up from his phone,you tell him okay, turn on your left turn signal and get in the left lane. Trevor finally looks up from his phone while you're waiting at the red light for it to turn green to see you're in the wrong lane.

“Sweetie?” asking in a questioning tone

“Hmmm”

“This is the left lane. I told you to take a right.” Trevor says in a concerning tone as to how you were five traffic lanes away from where you needed to be.

“sorry I thought you said ‘left’. I can make a u-turn?” Deciding in the moment you didn’t want to admit that you heard him correctly but processed the direction wrong, you offered as the traffic light finally turned green.

“It’s alright we can just take the long way. Don’t worry about a u-turn.” Not seeming to care at all that it will add an extra 10 minutes to the drive due to the mistake.

As you continued driving you ended up making another wrong turn, Trevor put his left hand on your thigh and subconsiously rubbed small circles into skin to comfort your growing anxiety, he could feel this odd tension that was built up in the car. “Can you point please?” your voice barely over a whisper as you felt extremely embarrassed all of a sudden and started feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden.

“Yeah Y/N/N I can do that, we could also switch places. I can drive you the rest of the way if you need it if you're feeling anxious all of a sudden.” Trevor was being really sweet, trying to fix the problem at hand thinking it was just some anxious thoughts and not your brain processing audible information incorrectly.

“No, pointing is good.” Forcing yourself to look straight ahead because you don’t want to accidentally catch his eyes as he looks at you with a worried look. He squeezes your thigh in a comforting way and drops the topic. The rest of the ride felt quick as he pointed and said the direction you needed to go until you reached his apartment. Finding a parking spot in the garage you parked your car, as soon as you felt your foot on the brake, and your right hand pulled the gear in park, you leaned back automatically and sighed grateful you were done driving. Trevor still had his hand on your thigh, he turned his neck so that his head was also resting on the headrest.

Trevor patiently waited until you opened your eyes, turning to him with a soft smile. “You ready?” you ask him, as you start to unbuckle your seatbelt. As you grab your purse from the back, your hand on the door handle. His hand that was on your thigh is gone and immediately pulls you by the wrist back into your seat. As he takes his other hand and gently places it on your cheek forcing you to look at him.

“Can we talk about it?” His voice was steady, calm, confident but soft, almost as if he was scared of your reaction.

Smiling a little wider now, in a split second you try to decide what you want to do. Do you want to tell a boy who you’ve only been casually talking to and hanging out with a handful of times - one of them being this current moment - about being dyslexic. Although it’s not that big of a deal in retrospect, it’s something that you can never take back once you said the words. Even though it’s something so simple and common no one ever looks at you the same again. Were you ready to tell Trevor, and see his face change permanently or did you want to live in ignorant bliss for a little longer.

“I’m fine, it’s just when I drive somewhere new I like listening to the GPS and not a person telling me directions, it helps me focus better is all.” sheepishly you admit.

Ignorant Bliss. That’s the choice you made.

“Okay well next time, can you tell me that so I don’t have to watch you stress yourself out please?” His hand that was on your wrist, going down to your hand playing with your hand. Taking your hand that he was playing with, fully grasping his you squeeze his hand as a silent yes, and nod your head. He leans over the middle console and quickly peaks your lips as if it was a last minute impulse and he meant the cheek. “Thank you, let's go inside.”

—-------------------------------

Living in ignorant bliss was great for a few weeks, until you started to actually like Trevor. Talking to a guy for a few months and it not going anywhere vs meeting someone and potentially seeing at least an exclusive relationship with them were two very different things. Knowing that you saw a relationship with him in the future meant it was only a matter of time before he found out that your dyslexic which again isn’t that big of a deal, but the fact that you also lied to him a few weeks ago. Not telling him is one thing, but lying when he asked why you were struggling to drive that day is a completely different act.

Trying to put off the inevitable you tried to push the thought to the back of your mind. Somehow convincing yourself that if you didn’t think about it, then the problem would disappear he would never find out. I mean when you didn’t know how to spell a word while texting, you just spoke it into your phone. As far as grammar no one really had perfect grammar when texting including Trevor to be perfectly honest he probably didn’t even notice half the time. Plenty of people kept all their devices in dark mode for plenty of reasons, he had no reason to ask, although you did it because it helped your eyes stay focused on the words in front of you, not for the aesthetic.

Even so, with all of these excuses as to why he wouldn’t notice you failed to remember that certain words you truly can’t pronounce the correct way no matter how hard you try. It all came crashing down tonight when you were at Trevor’s apartment cooking dinner for the both of you. Dinner was almost done at this point, when Trevor came behind you just now re-entering the kitchen after taking an expected call from his little sister. Trevor wrapped his arms around your waist, his head resting on top of your shoulder.

“Everything okay?” you ask your curiosity getting the best of you, even though you know it’s none of your business.

“Yeah she’s fine.” Pressing a kiss into where your jawline and neck meet. “smells good.” He compliments your cooking as he teases you one more time with a small nip with his teeth where he just kissed you, before pulling away and resting his head on your shoulder.

Answering shyly, you let out a “thank you.”

“Anything I can help with?” asking genuinely although you're not sure if it’s to be kind or if it’s because he’s hungry but either way you’ll take it. As he slowly unwraps himself from you, getting ready to help you in any way you need.

Without looking up from the chicken that you're grilling on the stove, trying to concentrate on the task at hand you answer him. “Yeah actually can you grab out the mellk from the fridge for the mashed potatoes.” Not even thinking twice about what you just said until you heard a chuckle coming from across the kitchen.

“What babe?” standing in front of a now open fridge, he could have sworn you tried to say milk but botched the word so badly, it couldn’t have possibly been.

“the mellk” finally noticing what you asked for, knowing this is one of the words people can’t help but point out how you butcher it.

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, truly confused now that he heard it twice.

“M - il - k “ you repeat slowing down your mouth trying to force yourself to pronounce it properly but also not speak too slowly. Hoping that it's noticeable as you force your tongue to the roof of your mouth to make the “il” sound.

A small chuckle leaves Trevor’s lips but it wasn’t a malicious way, it was as if he chuckled because he found it adorable. “Here's the milk baby.” walking back over to you and placing it on the empty counter space next to the bowl of steaming hot cooked potatoes. Taking the chicken off the hot burner you moved to the island to where the potatoes were.

“Sorry” you mumble as he stands beside you, his hip resting on the side of the island.

“For what?” His eyebrows frowned, his eyes focused the side of your face the only thing he could see. Focusing on the task at hand, you used the potato masher and mashed the potatoes. Opening the milk and adding a little along with some butter that you set out earlier.

Feeling the rise of some anxiety in your stomach, hoping that you could procrastinate just a little longer on admitting that you didn’t tell him the whole truth. Deciding if now was the time or if you were gonna dig yourself in a bigger hole by wrapping yourself in a thicker web of tiny white lies.

Finally turning your head to the side to face him and taking a deep breath.

For good measure making one more deep breath before you barely utter the words, your nerves getting the better of you. “I lied.”

Trevor’s face immediately changed from confusion and concern. In an instant it became shocking and almost hurt, that the girl he thought was actually going somewhere a month in, is admitting to lying to him. Not when he told her in the beginning that lying wasn’t something he tolerated after his ex lied to him for months and manipulated him. Not when he just told his little sister not even ten minutes ago on the phone that tonight he was gonna ask you to be his official girlfriend. “What are you talking about?” his voice cracking before he could even get the word out, quickly clearing his throat to cover up his own insecurities about the possible tension that could slowly be felt brewing in his kitchen.

“Remember a few weeks, when I was driving you to your apartment from the stad-”

“What the FUCK does that have to do with lying to me? When did you lie to me Y/N” Not only has Trevor never once raised his voice at you in a not joking way, but he’s never cursed at you, and his tone made you close your eyes and flinch at the impact. Immediately, seeing you flinch he sighed his hand going to lightly crease her arm closest to him. “When did you lie?” asking at a much softer tone than moments before.

“I’m trying to explain.” Trevor could have sworn he felt his chest hurt when he heard you struggling to speak, as if you were trying to get yourself not to cry. “Please let me explain.”

“Okay” he softly let out, as he squeezed your arm not sure if he was trying to comfort you or himself as he felt the possibility of you slipping through his fingers.

“A few weeks ago when I drove you home.” finally turning her body fully turning to face him. “I lied, When you asked me what happened. I told you I need the GPS because I get overwhelmed.” Pausing to make sure that Trevor was following along, he nodded along, “I lied, sort of,” your voice picking up in speed with each word you uttered out “I mean I do get overwhelmed while driving but it’s not because of that it’s not that I”

“Baby please take a breath you're scaring me” His other arm is going to cup your cheek, even though he was mad before as he heard you fixated on driving him home a few weeks ago. He knew it couldn’t have possibly been any of the terrible ideas that popped into his head, at least Trevor hoped not.

“I sometimes get my left and right confused.” Looking up trying to gauge his reaction, watching as one of his eyebrows go down, as if to say ‘that’s all.’

“Okay. So that was the lie? Everyone gets confused sometimes and makes mistakes baby it’s okay” His famous smile slowly takes over his face.

“That’s the thing is it isn’t sometimes, it’s kind of a lot when I’m driving when someone is giving me directions without pointing, and there are other things too. I mean they're small but they still affect me almost daily and I just.”

Deciding to take a breath because if you don’t you will be more likely to trip up your words or stutter. “I’m dyslexic and it’s not really how they describe the movies.”

His smile dropped a little and you swear it felt as if your heart felt as if it had just dropped a hundred flights down the Empire State building. “Dyslexic. Like you mix up letters when reading?”

“Yeah but it’s more than that.”

“Okay. But why didn’t you tell me when it happened? Why did you say it’s because you get overwhelmed.”

“Because I do get overwhelmed when I make dumb mistakes like that. Plus, everytime I tell someone they never look at me the same. A lot of times they are shocked, and they also sometimes judge me because how does it not affect me the way the media portrays it? Why do I mispronounce words, why can’t I tell my left and right when someone gives me a direction, why I can’t read maps to save my fucking life but yet if I don’t have my GPS running I’m bound to a wrong turn, why does sometimes my mind decide I either can’t come up with a word at all or I can physically see it but I can’t say it and I can’t spell it because I’m such a bad speller.”

“Shhh” not trying to cut you off but also trying to get you to breathe. “So you didn’t tell me cause you were scared I would look at you differently? Or judge you when something you can’t control comes out at random times of the day? That’s why you told me to point instead of just saying it because you didn’t wanna tell me in fear?” Not sure his tone is showing remorse for you thinking that at all or hurting that you ever would think of him in that way.

“Yeah.” you embarrassingly admit.

Trevor spent the rest of the night listening to you and how your brain was different due to your own personal experience with being a dyslexic. The next morning you found him reading an article about the effects of different lighting and how dark mode was the best for dyslexics and certain fonts were better than others. It made you chuckle as you told him you knew and that’s why your phone was permanently in dark mode. That day, he changed all the settings on his tv’s in his entire apartment for dark mode, even all of his own personal devices. Finding it adorable that he went on a tangent when he found out certain apps don’t support dark mode and how he said it was discriminating. Finding it harder and harder for yourself to hide your soft smile as you watched him continue his rant, your heart swelling at how passionate he sounded.

“I really like you, you know.” you admitted when he finally stopped complaining about how Mirosoft finally started supporting dark mode it was still ‘white paper’ on black ink so they really missed the whole point.

“Oh yeah.” as he grabs you, pulling you towards him on the couch, tangling your legs with his.

“Yup” popping the p for emphasis.

“I really like you too. Actually I was gonna ask you.. Wanna make this official and let me call you mine.” The blush was obvious on your face, immediately turning a light red shade, nodding your head he pulled you into a soft kiss.

—---------------------------------------------

A few weeks later you were out to dinner with a few close friends and Trevor. Currently trying to tell a story about one of your new coworkers and how you didn’t like him but mid sentence you froze. Trevor had yet to see you freeze because the word you planned to say completely escaped you. Of course this wasn’t new to your friends as they saw the familiar signs, the way in which you paused, your lips pursed in a questioning way, your hand coming up and shaking knowing it was on the tip of your tongue and you just couldn’t think of it or couldn’t pronounce it.

What your friends weren’t used to was seeing Trevor respond to it. His response to you struggling made all of them share a glance in approval of his small action. He took your shaking hand and slipped it into his own. Immediately your small flustered expression on your face turns to him. Your friends couldn’t hear what you were saying between yourselves if you were even talking at all, but they could see the care in Trevors eyes and how your frustration seemed to melt away.

“Hi” he whispers only for you to hear after a couple seconds pass.

A smile breaks out on your face. “Hi”

“What are you trying to say?” repeating the same sentence that he asked you weeks ago when you asked him to get the milk out the fridge.

“I can’t think of it.” a sigh leaving your lips.

“Describe it.” His forehead resting on yours as you look into his eyes.

“You know, like a red flag.”

“Like in dating? So a slang term?”

“I think.” Pausing for a few seconds for your brian to catch up. “But I know it’s not called a red flag, but it’s like it, I think, like when someone does something and immediately you're like ew.”

“An ick?” he softly suggests. Immediately your mouth forms into an o-shape in shock, making his mouth twitch into the slightest smile. Kissing his check quickly and whispering a quick ‘thanks’ and turning back to your friends.

“Okay so like this new dude thinks he can come in and just boss all me and my other co-workers around. That’s not even the worst part like not only is he lowkey sexist, he literally only wears highwaters, immediate ick…” Trevor sat there half listening to your story with a huge smile on his face, hand on your thigh drawing patterns subconsciously as he sipped on his drink. He loves listening to you talk, how you get lost in telling stories and he’s happy he was able to help you instead of you pushing it to the side like you did all those months ago.

That’s how it is from that night on, anytime you text him and he can’t understand it, or you can’t think of a word, or butcher the pronunciation; he will simply turn to you and ask “What are you trying to say?”

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras fanfiction #trevor zegras x y/n #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl x reader #nhl imagine #anahiem ducks #anahiem ducks fanfiction #anahiem ducks fic #trevor zegras fluff #trevor zegras angst #schwritingstz11

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ethereal-night-fairy · 2 months

Text

Slasher!Soap x Suicidal!Reader

Sometimes false kindness is better than cruel honesty. You learned that lesson the hard way.

Slasher Masterlist

Warning: MDNI, DEAD DOVE, NON CON, smut, deep throating, forced blowjob, cruel behaviour, impact play, knife play, cum play, blood kink, spit play, slight breath play at the end, mild gore and blood play, dacryphilia, dark themes, suicidal ideation, pred/prey dynamic, hunting, stalking, mention of murder and attempted murder, horny thoughts, dub-con behaviour, crude and objectifying language, harassment and torture, manipulation, lying, fear mongering, roughhousing, taunting and baiting, threats of violence, threats of sexual violence, acts of violence, acts of sexual violence, sorry if I missed any.

Your vision was blurring. And the trees had started blending into an abstract concept, much to your dismay. You were tethering on the edge of your downfall but you needed to play the long game if you wanted to achieve your end goal. What did real victims do in this scenario? Would they shout? Would they scream for help? Or would they keep running, unable to think about anything else but escaping their would be killer. You were ill prepared, you overestimated your acting skills. But it didn't mean you weren't going to try your best. Taking a deep breath in, you prepare yourself for the next step.

“SOMEONE! ANYONE! PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE! I’M BEING CHASED!” You were running out of dirt paths to take. He was close, you knew he was close. Even if you couldn't hear him over your pounding heart and screaming, you felt the chill of his sinister eyes on you.

“HELP! SOMEONE! PLEASE!” Despite you trying your best, a nagging itch in your head was telling you that it wasn't going to be enough. That you weren't enough. You weren't sure if the darkness was messing with your eyesight or that you were seeing black dots due the lack of oxygen from screaming. You were quickly losing your voice to the frost in the night air. The next few sentences that left your mouth came out broken and hoarse.

It wasn't long before you couldn't shout anymore. Your body forces you to stop from exhaustion and the lack of oxygen from belting your lungs out in hopes of pleasing your soon to be killer. Frantically you look around towards the direction that you just ran from. You couldn't see anything, he wasn't in the tree line.

Cold shivers run up your back as you whip your head around in every direction in an effort to spot him before he pounces on you. Your nerves are frayed with anxiety and anticipation. You just wanted to get this done and over with. You did a good job, didn't you? This was enough, wasn't it?

The longer you waited in the eerie silence of the forest where only your heavy breathing could be heard, the more your irrational thoughts ate away at any confidence you had in your performance.

What if it wasn't enough?...Fuck…you're so fucked…He's going to hurt you isn't he? Your mind again began screaming at you, telling you to run away while you can, telling you to get away before he finds you. But you couldn't move. Your limbs were locked into place. You might as well have become a deer in headlights.

Too lost in your own thoughts, you completely missed the shadow emerging from behind you. Soap took in your disheveled form, noting the drip of sweat coming of your clammy hands. Oh you poor thing, you were nervous. He twirled the knife idly in his hands, handling it as if it were some type of toy rather than the lethal weapon he knew it to be. He studied your body, he was mesmerized by the way you stood frozen with your breath heaving. It truly was a sight for sore eyes. Well to him it was.

The pretty outfit he had dolled you up in today was going to look so good shredded on the floor next to you. He was going to have so much fun slicing it from your body. He wonders if he should feel bad for what he's about to do to you but then again he has to remind himself that you brought this upon yourself. You wanted this. You forced his hand.

He'll give credit where credit is due. You tried your best, you really did. You ran like you meant it. It was a good 20 mins of you sprinting. You even screamed towards the end when the panic started setting in but he was in a vindictive mood. Also he couldn't quite feel the fear in your voice and that was enough to set you up for failure.

He wasn't going to let you win even if you did sound fearful, not now, not ever. You'll die when he's ready to kill you. But that doesn't mean he can't have fun with you in the meantime. He'll make sure you’ll both get something out of this. If nothing else he'll make sure you learn a very important lesson today. With his mind made up he took the final step towards you.

“Boo” You scream, your body jolting while trying to run away frantically but he's already tripping you up long before your legs kick into motion.

“H-HELP! SOMEONE!” You come tumbling down, your fate sealed in stone for the night. Knife gleaming in his hand, he depends upon you as you scramble to get away. Good…You were going to make this fun for him.

Your hands were bound. Too tight, just shy of cutting blood circulation, but you still felt the blood pooling and numbing your fingertips. To Soap you looked like an angel with your top shredded and your hands bound in front of you with its scraps. He stood above you with your face nestled into his groin as he continued to rub his hardening cock against your teary face and busted lip.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. P-please let me go..” Soap laughed at your poor attempts at negotiating. You sobbed harder after he slapped your lips with his leaking cockhead while precum stained your lips like lipgloss. It was too late for any apologies now. They weren't going to help you anyway. You dug your grave and now you were going to lay in it.

“Oh sweetheart, what's wrong? What's with the tears Dove? You wanted this, remember?” Ye were practically begging me tae hunt ye down. Bit off more than ye could chew huh?” You don't bother answering his questions realising there was no way you were going to convince him to let you go.

So you try to change tactics, you try to use your busted knees to pull yourself away from his reach. But even that is quickly halted with a boot pressing painfully down on your mound. He uses his sole to grind up cruelly, catching your clit in the process.

“Think ye can escape from me do ye?” You cry out as he nestles his boot directly below your entrance so he can force you to hump him like a bitch in heat. “Don't act like ye don't like it. Ah can hear yer slick shining my boot. Now open up or do ah have tae cut yer mouth open?”

You looked pathetic in your current state. Bloodshot eyes. Makeup ruined from crying. Bruised and busted knees. Clothes torn to shreds and your breasts decorated with red slashes. The night air had your nipples pebbling as snot and tears formed rivers flowing from your nose and eyes. But despite this you kept your mouth shut stubbornly.

“That's how ye want tae play? Fine then…let's do this the hard way.” Sudden pain erupts from your left breast. You try to trash away but the fist in your hair keeps you in place as you feel the burn and sting of flesh opening and blood spilling out. You feel his knife digging in deeper the fat of your bosom eliciting a pained scream coming from your mouth. It presents the perfect opportunity for him to shove his cock inside as he pulls your head back with his tight grip, maneuvering you like a rag doll.

You gag immediately, unable to accommodate his growing cock but that didn't stop him from trying to push it in further while you struggled. Another inch goes in and you feel your jaw locking and teeth scraping his sensitive skin.

“Watch yer teeth ye whore! Ah've no problem knocking them out” He pulls out temporarily while using the time to squeeze your jaw so it'll open wider for him. You sob and splutter out pleas to stop him but they come out intelligible. And not a second later your mouth is tasting salt and iron again. Your busted lip stretching to accommodate his whole girth. The blood mixing in with the already overwhelming taste of his seed has your brain short circuiting. Your mind was shutting down. It was trying to lull you into a dreamy headspace where you didn't have to think.

Your body on the other hand had other ideas. It screamed at you, keeping you vigilantly aware of what was happening to you and how painful everything was. Your jaw from being forcibly held open, your skin from being lacerated and bruised, your clit from being stepped on and your throat from being used so brutally. Yet you were shown no mercy for your pain.

He jerks his hips, forcing himself further into your mouth as you continue to try to pull away before your gag reflex forces you to vomit. The salty musky taste of his percum was invading all your senses. And you couldn't do anything to get rid of the overwhelming taste of him.

You wanted him out, you wanted him gone. This wasn't how the night was supposed to end. He was supposed to kill you. He was supposed to end your suffering, not add to it. Anger tears spill from your fatigued eyes at the unfairness of the situation. You had tried your best, so why wasn't it enough? Why weren't you enough?

You were so frazzled, especially with your intrusive thoughts, that you didn't clock the feral look in Soap's eyes. You continue to rub your wrists raw in a desperate attempt to gain some control back. Anything to make you feel like you weren't going off the deep end. But it was futile, no matter how much you pushed and shoved you remained firmly planted between his feet.

As you continued your pointless fight you felt his blade circle your nipple making your treacherous legs clench in need. Soap noticing your predicament withdraws the blade before another incision was made.

“What wrong luv? I thought you didn't want this. Why are yer legs rubbing together like that?” You glare at him with venom, his taunting causing your blood to boil to new heights. You hated yourself for feeling this. For being so turned on by being used like an object. There must be something seriously wrong with you. But you should have known that already, sane people aren't suicidal like you. Sane people don't taunt killers into chasing them. Sane people don't let murderers into their home and they definitely don't let killers take them out on dates.

Your many wounds sting as you feel blood trickling down your torso. Your bound hands push at his thighs trying to create some distance again but the fist in your hair was unyielding. He gives it a mean tug making you gag around his thick girth as it hits the back of your throat where it meets resistance. No doubt he was trying his best to bypass it. He was aiming to use your throat like a fleshlight.

“Yeah Gag on it ye slag! Keep fighting, it just turns me on more.” A large hand forces your head down further on the hard cock obstructing your airway while the other holds a sharp knife to your jugular. Spit was pooling and spilling down your neck leaving a sticky mess while you try your best to claw your way out. You try to kick, to scream, to pinch, anything to try to get away from this monster of a dick. But the only thing that has done for you is leave cuts all over your neck as you trash. This was exhausting, on one hand you had to physically fight off Soap and on the other you had to fight your mind for being so horny when you definitely shouldn't be.

Your bloodshot eyes glare at him through your tear stained lashes. You watch his face twist into one of ecstasy as he gets you to deep throat another inch while spit spills out of your overstuffed mouth. He closes his eyes briefly to collect himself and you take the chance to grab and twist his balls as hard as you could. If you were going to be in pain, so was he.

You think you've succeeded in your payback, you foolishly believe this would give you enough time to escape as he shouts before hastily removing his dick from your mouth. But before you could even try to get on your feet, you're struck across the face. A blinding pain blooms across your face. One that had your ears ringing and your vision blurring more than it already was.

“Ye fucking bitch!” You're on the ground clutching your face as you realise you've just been back handed. The inflamed skin immediately heats, while the bones in your face feel like they've been misaligned. You don't even have the time to cry from the pain as you watch him rub his balls to soothe the ache before his boot cruelly descends your clit.

“Two can play at this game!” He presses down sadistically as you trash on the floor unable to move while the sharp sting of having your clit crushed immobilizes you. You watch through tears as he frantically jerks off to your pained cries.

He grinds his boot down, rubbing the delicate flesh of your pussy raw with his abrasive soles. It's only when you begin to earnestly sob and plead for mercy does he have the decency to remove his foot.

“Oh look at that tsk tsk ye've left a wet spot, ye filthy girl.” Crouching down he gives your cunt a mean slap causing you to flinch before he kneels above your face while you cry out for grace. He holds his cock in one hand as he brings the others to your throat again. The knife digs in while he smears his saliva drenched rod all over your bruised swollen cheek. Making sure to give it a slap from time to time as he sandwiches his cock between his hand and your face. You jerk your head away, causing the knife to leave shallow cuts in its wake. While you try your best to keep his cock away from you.

“Keep doing that and ye won't have skin left tae cut anymore” He groans out placing his balls over your lips while straddling your head. “Kiss them better ye slag” Fear overrides your mind immediately as your mouth opens to kiss and suckle the skin of his musky balls. You turn up your nose at the overwhelming smell of sweat. But you couldn't escape this predicament even if you tried. And tired you did. He moans as he jerks off his hard cock in front of your eyes while all you could do is follow his orders.

“Open up.” He taps your tongue with his cockhead as you push your thighs together to alleviate the discomfort you were feeling from your abused clit. Your slowness to follow orders seemed to have ticked him off because not a second later the knife at your throat is being dug into the ground beside your ear nicking the edge of it. You let out a broken cry from the torment he was putting you through, but your pained sobs fell on deaf ears. He continues to ignore you while he pulls the blade out again to dig it into the skin of your cheek. The sharpness made your body jerk and shiver as you quickly opened your mouth to please him.

Despite your body struggling to accept his whole length, Soap gives you no respite. All he does is groan while shoving more of himself down your throat, taking great pleasure in hearing all the lewd sounds of you choking and gagging. He uses the knife to trace up your jaw leaving small knicks before it settles dangerously close to your bleeding ear. He digs the knife into the dirt again, freeing up his hands but leaving the threat for you to stay obedient.

“Fucking take it ye slag” both his hands tighten viciously in your hair as he uses it like a leash to pull your head to his cock while he sits his weight down on you.

Your esophagus seizes making you gag and splutter spit as he pushes through the gag reflex again and again while bullying as much of himself down a hole that had little to no training to accommodate his girth or length. The unnatural stretch of your muscles burned beyond understanding. And yet another gag erupts as his cockhead pokes your tonsil. You feel the knife digging to your cartilage when you try to jerk away. Tears are streaming down your face by this point but Soap laughs as you struggle to keep up to his pace without hurting yourself even more. You slurp and suck to keep him placated but it didn't seem like it was enough. He wanted more, and that's exactly what he took from you.

He settles his full weight on you as you feel his cock swell with his coming release. There's spit, cum and blood everywhere as Soap looks down at you almost affectionately. He watches your blown out pupils shake and flicker as you frantically look around for help. But how stupid of you to think that someone was coming to save you.

You've stopped actively fighting him. But that didn't mean your body had given up. He still feels your hips squirm and move in an effort to take his weight off your chest but he remains seated regardless. Too lost in his own carnal pleasure to care if he was hurting you. He needed to teach you a lesson after all. You couldn't be let off the hook just because you were crying and choking on his monster of a cock. You deserved to be punished after the stunt you pulled.

He's brutal in his pace refusing to let you get an air in through your mouth. But as he hunches over you and begins rocking his hips more. You begin panicking as your face is pressed to his pubic hair. His hands have left your hair in favor of placing them on the ground while he ruts into your mouth like a madman, treating your mouth like it was a fleshlight. Your throat burns from the foreign intrusion battering its walls and all you can do is lay there with your mouth open as your eyes drown in their own tears.

“Fuck I'm coming. Take it ye slag! Swallow every drop!” Soap quickly adjusts one hand to hold his weight while the other goes to pinch your nose as his hips stutter to a stop forcing your face flush to his sweat drenched pubic hair. You push your bound hands frantically at his legs to get him off before you die from the lack of oxygen in your brain but that just encourages Soap to grind his hips down more while you choke and splutter everywhere. Your eyes roll back as he seats his cock fully inside of you.

Your air gets completely cut off just as you feel the hot splash of thick viscous cum go down your burning throat while your body tries violently buck him off you but it's no use. You aren't strong enough. You'll never be able to overpower him, no matter how badly you tried. Your mind goes blank as your legs shake from the lack of oxygen and air. You feel your vision spotting while hot cum fills your stomach.

He holds down your jerking body for a good minute before he's ready to remove himself but even then his cock wouldn't soften as it continues to come all over your tongue and face. You're covered in his load. Covered in his sticky white mess. What made it worse was the way he continued to hold your jaw open to lean down to spit on your tongue and face. You had no choice but to accept his ‘gift’ since the only form of air you were getting was from your mouth.

Your muscles felt tender and wrung out. Every surface on your skin was burning with discomfort. He stops pinching your nose realising you're about to pass out if you continue to choke on his cum and spit. He looks down at you with such a satisfied yet condescending smirk and you feel yourself breaking all over again.

You stare at his smug face with your dead expression. What was all this for if he wasn't going to kill you? You take a painful breath in. One that has your body slumping with exhaustion instantaneously. Air finally re-enters your veins as you curl yourself into a ball trying to protect yourself from any further onslaught.

Now that you weren't actively choking your mind starts focusing on things that you rather not think about. The potent stench of cum, the salt and iron aftertaste, the sticky mess of cum and blood painting your abused skin. And worst of all you couldn't do anything about it. You were at his mercy until he decided he was done with you.

The smell might haunt you for the rest of your life. Just like his memories do. A broken sob leaves your body. You feel yourself shake from the impact of your cries.

What was all this for? What was the point of anything if you weren't going to die tonight?

Your sobs are the only thing you hear for the next while. That is until you hear him move. And you immediately knew your suffering wasn't coming to an end any time soon.

“We're not done” you sob louder as your wrists are cut free but not a second later he's placing you on your stomach with your face pressed into the dirt. You can't see him from your position but you feel his calloused hands all over your skin. Poking and prodding your wounds and your cold skin. Your arms are once again twisted as he cuts away your skirt to use as a makeshift rope. It's not long after your panties are being inspected by the very knife that was used to mar your flesh tonight.

“Your dripping Dove…” he says nonchalantly. As if it was just a simple fact among lovers. You feel the chill from the wet streaks of arousal decorating your legs. An involuntary gasp escaping your mouth as you feel him press the blunt side of the blade on the tip of your clit. But unfortunately for the both of you it doesn't elicit the reaction he wanted. He pushes down harder hoping to hear you beg while simultaneously raising your hips so you're propped up onto your sore knees. But you don't have it in you to speak anymore. Or to ask for mercy when you knew for a fact nothing was going to save you tonight. Only quiet tears leave you as you try your best not to hyperventilate.

But all you were hearing, tasting and feeling was him. And you wished you were anywhere but here. If you're going to survive you needed to shut him out, you needed to disassociate to get through this.

“What? Yer not going tae fight anymore? Come on Dove don't bore me so soon, ye said ye'd make is as good as the real thing.” When you don't respond other than your labored breathing he decides he'll use other methods to make you beg and scream.

“Ah think we need something tae show everyone who ye belong tae, don't we luv? How does a tramp stamp sound?” A cold shiver jolts your body as you hear the false sweetness in his tone. Your body reanimates with his threat, forcing you to try and escape his hold but your face is quickly pushed back down into the dirt. Tears water the dirt beneath your face but even if you cried all night long no mercy was going to bloom out of your pain and suffering. He was sick to phrase your predicament as a question when you knew he was going to do whatever he wanted.

“No! Soap stop! Im s-sorry I'm s-so sorry. Please don't do this.” You feel him reposition his knife directly at the small of your back as you body tries to sway away from his hold but it's no use. You know his mind was made up.

“Should ah be nice and only do the initials? But ah think Jonathan MacTavish would look beautiful carved into yer flesh, don't ye Dove?” You just sob louder feelings the bite of the blade already cutting into the skin of your back.

“Don't worry my sweet. Ah'll make it feel good while ah do it.” With a blade to your back and a hand caressing your folds you curse yourself for ever thinking you could outsmart a killer.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

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etheries1015 · 1 year

Text

The Demon brothers w/ MC who has arachnophobia

Arachnophobia: the irrational and extreme fear of spiders

TW: Arachnophobia, panic attacks, vomit

Overview: The brothers decide to make a bet on who can find your fear, and when one hits home and they don’t get the reaction they were truly hoping for, they comfort you in your time of panic.

Featuring: Lucifer, Asmodeus, Leviathan, Mammon, Satan

WARNING: I wrote this almost two years ago and it’s been just sitting inside of my drafts wasting away until I could find the motivation to write for the last couple of brothers. I did not find that motivation lol. So this has not been proofread, and I decided to just throw it into the pit of fire and share it anyway! Hope you like it nonetheless, but it definitely is not the best of my works. Please keep this in mind while reading.

Otherwise, take a look at my master list to see other works I do!

Authors note: Based my reaction to real things I personally feel regarding arachnophobia . I can't even look at pictures of them without feeling sick to my stomach, so the reaction is truly how I would feel in this situation... Hope I'm not the only one with this extreme fear, and hopefully its a little relatable.

Scenario:

There weren't many things the MC is afraid of, so it seems.

"So...MC, tell me," Solomon started, "If being surrounded by all of these demons and magic doesn't shake you up, what DOES scare you?" He smiled gently, that mysterious smile. Around the dinner table were all of the brothers during a community dinner at the House of Lamentation, staring intently at MC who only shrunk down into their seats. Chuckling nervously, MC rolled their eyes in slight annoyance.

"That...is something I'm not going to share with you," a cheerful smile planted upon their lips.

That was the very sentence that brought us to our...current situation.

A week passed, the brothers tried everything from ghost stories to walks in the woods late at night. Pretty tame, don't you think? They had a list of different possible fears a normal human may have, since the typical situations the MC found themselves in the devildom seem to not leave a dent in their confidence or bravery. One night, during meal preparation, came their next plan.

"Spiders? Really, Mammon? Levi?" Asmodeus sassily crossed his arms shaking his head in disapproval, leaning against the countertop.

"Hey, trust me. I read this thing -"

"You, Reading?" Satan interrupted Mammon, causing the brothers to snicker.

"Shut it!" Mammon growled, taking a small plastic spider and setting it in the bowl of food meant for MC, "I'm sure ima win this one," he proudly proclaimed, "I looked up a buncha different human fears and this seemed to be a popular one."

"You guys are such kids..." Belphie yawned, trudging to the dining room, "Let’s go eat, Beel."

The red-headed twin looked back at the bowl with a worried expression before turning back on his heel to follow his brother. Each of them entered the dining room where MC sat waiting, along with the group from purgatory hall. A smile was planted on their lips as they joked with the angels and fellow human, thanking Mammon as he set their food in front of them.

"Ah..." MC looked up at Mammon with a confused look, "Thank...you? I could have dished up myself-"

Mammon cut them off saying something rushed and embarrassed along the lines of "I can be nice when I want to, don't get the wrong idea, though!" Before taking his own seat.

The brothers stared in anticipation, watching MC lead the spoon up to their lips

Looking back down at the bowl, MC froze in shock for a moment.

That was when they saw it.

Your reaction

With a shaking hand, you drop the spoon and covered your mouth with your hand, ready to throw up. You quickly pushed the chair back causing it to fall, running to the nearest garbage to throw up what you had eaten. At this point, you were now a shaking, sobbing mess. Your heart was beating so fast, the reveal of the spider in your meal replaying in your head. You couldn't even bring yourself to close your eyes to try and collect yourself, all you could see was that...wretched creature every time you saw darkness.

Their reaction:

Lucifer:

He sensed the immense fear from you immediately and quickly took the initiative to remove the bowl from your grasp.

Though he had taken away the source, he could feel the buildup of fear continue.

He stared in shock for a moment, even though he took away the bowl, you still had reacted the way you did.

After getting over the moment of shock from your state, he had rushed to your side.

He had never seen you so shaken up, he wasn't sure if he should even touch you in fear of making it somehow worse.

Excused himself and you from the table to take you to the kitchen to breath, hugging you when he knew it was okay to do so. (We love consent here)

He thought it was silly, fearing something so small when you don't even struggle with CERBERUS, a literal giant demon dog.

"I don't fully understand the reasoning, but..." He cupped your cheeks with his long, slender fingers gently , looking you intently in the eyes, "I will not allow some little bug take away your smile from us. Or me."

Has the house deep cleaned for any cobwebs or reminders of spiders, he knows how it feels to be so afraid of something that any reminder of said fear is painful, no matter how little or big that fear may be.

Hung Mammon up for the entire idea

This man would protect you from anything, even from a small insect that he has no understanding the fear behind it.

Mammon:

Poor puppy had no idea what to do other than panic, color draining from his face the second he saw your shaking hand and the yelp of fear escape your lips.

Doesn't apologize at first with words, but with actions.

Runs to your side while you are doubled over in fear over the garbage can, wanted to pat your back but instead he just awkwardly waits for you to look at him once you're done throwing up.

Oh boy. He looks like a kicked puppy the second he saw the tears streaming down your face, shaking like crazy.

Wasn't sure what to say, so he just pulled you into his arms.

"I'm ....sorry," he mumbled, awkwardly patting your back in attempt to comfort you.

Will tease you after though, and brag that he won for finding out your fear.

Never did it again, and is secretly on the look out for any spiders around you or the house so he can rid of it before you see it.

He's weak for your tears <3

Leviathan:

He doesn't even know what to do, when you start running to the garbage can he only stares in surprise.

Honestly , he probably isn't the type to actively comfort you right away, he's trying to think of what he could do to help later on instead.

Walks up to you while you're calming down, before asking if you are okay

Genuinely doesn't understand the fear behind such a small creature, there are millions of other things much scarier in the games you play together.

He would give behind the scenes comfort, making sure his brothers don't bring anything regarding spiders up, and will make sure to proof watch/read manga, anime, and games to make sure it doesn't have anything to trigger your arachnophobia

"I know you think I'm just a weird gross otaku but... I care about these things too! I'll make sure you can enjoy all of our anime and gameplay nights without worrying about something like that!"

Cuddles and anime night with a comfort anime of your choice.

Asmodeus:

He definitely doesn't understand the reasoning behind such a fear, but he too, is willing to ignore that fact when it comes to you.

He doesn't LIKE them because they are unsightly, but for sure isn't AFRAID of them, and thought at first you were the same.

That was...until he saw the genuine fear in your eyes after he ran after you and patted your back as you vomited.

He doesn't do anything directly to help you avoid spiders, but will do anything to comfort you. Head rubs, movie nights in his room, he is more of a .... "Distract yourself from your problems and fears instead of face them" kind of demon.

"Look at me , into my eyes. Forget those awful little things," he gently grabs your hand and sets his forehead against yours, "they can't hurt you, darling. It'll be okay. If you're still scared, shall we sleep together tonight?" He giggles.

He loves you and tries very hard to make you feel better, since your being is (almost) more important than his own. But he isn't always the best at this, since loving others more than him is a bit of a new concept.

He's trying for you xoxo

Satan:

He never thought he would ever see you break with something like this

But understands well enough, he had extended knowledge on different human fears, all the better for his class on manipulating humans...

The calm one, cleaning up the mess while the others panic to be by your side.

Angrily lectures all of the brothers on arachnophobia and the side effects and reactions you may have if this happened again.

Whispering sweet words of comfort as you sob and shake in his arms. Gently rubbing your back while glaring at the brothers. While they could sense your fear, Satan's anger was far greater.

Does blame himself a little bit, since he was aware of the plan but didn't particularly do anything to actively stop it. But makes up for it xoxo

"I know a good cat café near by, if you're up for it, I'll buy you whatever you want as an apology." He kissed your forehead gently.

Before suggesting any books to read, he proof reads them for any sign of spiders, pictures or in depth descriptions could be just as traumatizing!

Since his room is always a constant mess of books, it’s bound to become dusty. Now, before you enter his room, he makes sure that even if his books are not cleaned up, that the cobwebs and dust is taken care of.

#Obey me #Obey me shall we date #Obey me lucifer #Leviathan obey me #Obey me x reader #obey me shall we date x reader #Obey me Mammon #Obey me asmodeus #Obey me satan #Asmodeus x reader #Mammon x reader #Leviathan x reader #Lucifer x reader #Satan x reader #Obey me fanfiction #Obey me fanfic #Obey me head cannon

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supernovafics · 3 months

Text

series masterlist | last part — next part

pairing: modern!college!steve harrington x fem!reader, bestfriend!eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 4.2k words

warnings: : explicit language, mentions of weed/being high, nothing else really?

summary: you haven’t even known steve for twenty-four hours, but sure, why not pretend to date for a month?

CHAPTER TWO | ❝𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆❞

Fall Semester 2015

Later, you would wonder what to attribute it to.

Was it because of the way he smiled at you? Because of the way his knee lightly brushed against yours? Or was it the weed that made your mind hazy and made you realize things that you probably wouldn’t have recognized if you were sober?

You weren’t sure, but you knew that things were changing for you, shifting into something deeper.

You’d only been friends with Eddie for a month, but it felt like so much longer. He was quickly and easily becoming your closest friend; best friend, even. You thought back to the late-night conversations you’d have in his roommate-free dorm room where you both told each other things that no one else knew— fears that felt stupid and completely irrational, and embarrassing stories from childhood that were previously meant to be taken to your respective graves. Somehow, almost immediately after the moment in the elevator, nothing ever felt awkward between you two again. Everything just felt right.

“This one’s probably my favorite,” Eddie said as a new song started playing, which pulled you out of your thoughts. He reached out to grab his phone and turned the volume up as high as it could go. He had already gotten a noise complaint from the RA about playing his speakers too loud so he opted for using his phone instead to show you some of his favorite songs from a band he really liked but you hadn’t heard of.

You nodded at his words, focusing on them rather than the feel of his knee still brushing yours. The two of you were sitting across from each other on his bed and his phone sat in the middle, playing the unfamiliar song that you actually found yourself liking a lot. You hadn’t been sitting this close to one another at first, and you couldn’t recall who had made the first move forward to close some of the distance.

“I like this one,” You said, recrossing your legs so that you were no longer touching him. The subtle touch was starting to make your mind shortcircuit a bit and you felt way too close to saying something that you probably shouldn’t have.

He gave you an amused smile. “Does that mean you didn’t like the others?”

You looked away from him then and leaned back, head easily finding one of his pillows. “No comment.”

You heard his laugh in response, which made you smile and you shut your eyes for a second, reveling in the sweet sound.

It was everything, You’d finally decide later when you were a lot less high and much more in control of your thoughts. Every little thing that he’d do that you were on the receiving end of. That certain kind of smile that felt as if it was reserved only for you coupled with the neverending niceness that showed how much he cared about you— he’d let you take his bed whenever you had to spend the night in his room because your roommate was being the worst, and he’d always offer to walk with you to whatever building your first class was in the mornings, even though it was in the opposite direction of where he needed to be.

You liked him. A lot. Maybe too much. And you had no idea what you would do about that.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Spring Semester 2018

You: Is the offer still on the table?

You: Oh and I’m talking about the fake dating thing (if you somehow forgot)

Anything that resembled regret had yet to settle in, and at this point, you wondered if it ever would.

Yes, you felt a little embarrassed about backtracking and suddenly wanting to go along with Steve’s idea that you had initially been so adamant about not doing— and you had a feeling that he’d say something equivalent to an “I told you so” because of that. But still, you didn’t regret bringing it up again and asking him. Your mind was still telling you that doing this was worth a shot and maybe just maybe it would actually end up being a good thing.

You knew that doing this could potentially ruin everything— just like you thought that everything would be ruined if you outwardly admitted your feelings for Eddie and they weren’t reciprocated— but this fake dating thing felt like the best way to finally do something about your crush without directly “professing your love” and possibly fucking up the friendship in the process.

You had waited until you were back in your apartment before you texted Steve. And now you stared at your phone for a second longer, looking at those two new messages sit in the very small text chain you two already had, which consisted of short and formal messages that were very evident of two people who did not know each other at all. In a way, it was a bit comical because you still barely knew this guy, yet somehow you were willing to pretend to date him.

As you were about to set your phone down next to you on your desk and attempt to focus on an assignment that you needed to finish sooner rather than later, your phone was ringing in your hand and Steve’s name was taking over your screen.

After the briefest moments of hesitation, you swiped to answer the call and placed your phone at your ear. “Hello?”

“Hey,” Steve said. “So, what changed?”

You didn’t expect him to get straight to the point— you also didn’t really expect him to immediately call you— but you had to admit it made sense; this would probably be easier to talk about out loud rather than through texts.

“A lot’s changed, actually… I think you’re right, this fake dating thing could work, and it also might actually be the best thing to do.” You took a breath and shut your eyes before blurting out your next words. “Also, I may or may not have already told Eddie that we really hit it off last night and we’re planning to go on another date. And I’ll admit, if I hadn’t been high, I probably wouldn’t have said that to him, but I honestly still don’t think this is a bad idea. But, if you really don’t wanna do it anymore, I completely understand. Because it’s definitely an insane thing to do and probably a little weird too, maybe, and yeah… Sorry, I’m just rambling now.”

You forced yourself to stop talking and waited for Steve to say something. At first, he was quiet, probably processing everything that you had just said. And what prevailed for the next few moments was the kind of silence that felt as if it lasted forever— when, in reality, it was probably only a second or two.

“I still wanna do it.”

You were inwardly sighing in relief at his words and you actually smiled a little.

“Okay,” You felt yourself nodding even though he couldn’t see you.

“Okay, so we should probably talk about it more to figure it all out, right? Are you free later?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you my address.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

You and Steve agreed to meet at seven; it was your suggestion because that would give you some time to actually focus on the school stuff you needed to do. However, that was much easier said than done because after you hung up with him, all you were able to think about was him and the fake dating plan and every little thing about it. How easily and quickly it consumed your mind almost felt concerning, but you’d never done anything like this before so you couldn’t help but think about even the smallest of details for it.

A series of knocks rapping against your bedroom door pulled you out of your thoughts. You let out a loud enough “Yeah” and then you saw Robin entering your room seconds later.

“Hey, me and Vickie have to go see this play for one of our classes. It’s some free thing that the drama students are putting on, and apparently, it’s actually supposed to be pretty good.” She shrugged. “Anyway, it starts at eight. You wanna come too?”

You almost said yes because that was exactly the kind of thing you wouldn’t have minded spending a Saturday night doing, you would’ve also texted Eddie to see if he wanted to come too. But then you remembered where you needed to be in half an hour, and you didn’t fully understand how it easily just slipped from your mind when it had been the only thing you could think about for the past few hours.

“I can’t tonight. I’m actually, um, seeing Steve again.”

“Ooh, really?” Robin stepped all of the way into your room then, shutting the door behind her and sitting at the foot of your bed. “So last night was good? You barely wanted to talk about it when you came home. I was pretty sure that it went shitty, but I didn’t wanna press you on it.”

“No, yeah, it was good, actually. I was just way too tired to talk a lot about it last night,” You said with a quick shrug and then attempted to shift the conversation away from Steve. “Also, I was so invested in hearing you guys ramble about the reality show you watched.”

“Wait, seeing someone two days in a row is kind of a huge deal,” She said; your attempt at changing the subject failing. “If things start getting too serious between you guys, I’m gonna have to give him the parental third degree. I don’t care that Talia is older. I really wanna do it.”

You laughed a bit at her seriousness. “Okay, fine, yes, you can do it if it comes to that.”

“Thank you, that’s all I ask for,” She smiled at you, and then things were quiet for a few moments before she asked, “So, you really like him?”

You felt the sudden urge to tell her everything— how you’ve felt about Eddie for the past few years, how she had been the only person that you’d ever gotten close to telling that to, and how you were about to start this fake dating thing with Steve— but you couldn’t do it. You knew that it would just open up a huge can of worms and make everything even more complicated than it already felt.

“Yeah, I think I do,” You said instead of the truth.

“That’s great,” She said, smiling wider. “You’re breaking the single curse that has plagued us for the past, what is it, year at this point?”

“What ever happened to that girl you were into last semester?”

Robin shrugged. “We hung out a few times, but I don’t know, something just didn’t feel right.”

The sound of the squeaky front door of the apartment opening and subsequently closing and then multiple voices entering the apartment halted your conversation for a moment.

“I think that’s probably Talia’s study group.”

You let out a laugh. “I feel like saying study group is a stretch.”

The said “study group” consisted of a handful of Talia’s Psych major friends. They met up most Saturdays and would only “study” for an hour, and then the rest of the night was spent watching true crime documentaries in the living room.

“So, what are you and Steve doing tonight? Do you want some outfit support? I can grab Vickie to help real quick too.”

You glanced down at the plain jeans and black V-neck sweater you were wearing that was a bit cropped; it was the same thing that you’d worn to Eddie’s earlier. “I think I’m just gonna wear this. We’re just hanging out at his place.”

“Oh,” Robin said, nodding. “Okay, everything I said last night about making sure to use protection still very much stands.”

“Ew, Robs, stop,” You shook your head. “I’m feeling very tempted to get Vickie right now and have her hit you on the arm again.”

She laughed as she stood up from your bed and headed toward your shut door. “I’ll take that as my cue to leave then. Have fun tonight!”

“Thanks,” You said, breaking your eyes from hers and turning back to look at the textbook you had opened on your desk that hadn’t been touched in hours.

She closed the door behind her and you let out a soft breath. It didn’t really occur to you that lying to pretty much everyone in your life would be the hardest part of all of this.

You grabbed your phone to find the last text Steve sent you, which was just his address. You figured that wherever he lived couldn’t be too far away and it wouldn’t be that much of a walk to get to him; the walk to and from Eddie’s place never took more than ten minutes. The most popular off-campus apartments, one of which you lived at, were spread out across a few streets close to the main part of campus and were all basically right next to each other; you assumed that Steve lived at one of them.

Finally looking at his address, though, let you know how wrong you were. He lived close to thirty minutes away from you— and that was just by car, you didn’t even bother looking at what the walk would’ve been like. He also lived in an apartment building that you had never been to— you were rarely over by that side of town at all— but you knew that it was a small but insanely expensive building that only rich kids lived in. You remembered briefly looking up the place during your apartment hunt with Robin and Vickie and seeing the outrageous prices for three and four-bedroom apartments that only had one bathroom. You could rent two of the apartments you currently had at those prices, and you at least had your own bathroom here.

Somehow, you actually weren’t that surprised to see that Steve lived there. You thought back to last night and his car, a vintage dark red BMW that looked perfect and probably cost a fortune to keep that way.

You were calling him immediately and he answered after the second ring, speaking before you got the chance to. “You’re backing out of this, aren’t you?”

He sounded so certain that it honestly managed to annoy you a bit. “No, I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot so far, like the logistics and stuff and whatever. I’m calling because I didn’t realize how far you live from me and I need you to pick me up.”

“Oh, okay,” He paused for a second. “Should we just do this at your place?”

For a moment, you considered his words, but then, as if on cue, you heard the loud sounds of Talia’s friends laughing in the living room. And then you thought about how Robin and Vickie wouldn’t be leaving for the play for at least another hour and you really weren’t ready for Steve to get any sort of an introduction to everyone just yet. “No way, it’s kind of a madhouse right now.”

“Ah, yes, I forgot that you have six thousand roommates,” He joked, and you actually cracked a small smile at that. “I’ll be there in thirty.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Somehow, Steve was at your place in twenty minutes and you were in the middle of finally getting somewhere for your assignment when you got his “I’m here” text.

“So, you’ve been thinking about this a lot?” He asked as he turned the radio down a bit; you two had only been driving for a minute or so. When you nodded and said a simple “Yeah” in response, he continued. “Can I hear your thoughts?”

For a second, you thought about where you should start, but your thoughts felt a little too messy to put into a super succinct order, so you just started talking.

“Okay, so we need to decide how long we’re gonna do this. I don’t think we should drag it out too much, y’know? Maybe just like a month or so? And we obviously need to talk about how affectionate we’re gonna be with each other around other people, specifically Eddie. Also, do you think that all of this will seem really weird and fake because of how rushed everything’s gonna be between us? Oh, and what’s your parent situation about? I’m gonna have to meet them, right? So that you can prove to them that your “girlfriend” exists,” You went on and on, listing everything on your fingers until you two were stopped at a red light and you noticed the amused look on Steve’s face, which made you stop mid-ramble. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He shook his head and shrugged. “I just think it’s a little funny how you were so against this whole thing last night, but you’re really into it now.”

You rolled your eyes at that. “I’ve never done something like this before, and aside from the occasional assignment, I hate half-assing shit, so of course, I’m gonna think about every little thing.”

He held up his hands in mock surrender, still smiling at you. “Okay, got it.”

The light turned green and his focus went back on driving. Things became quiet just for a second before he started talking again.

“I think you’re right, a month should be enough time. If he’s gonna get jealous about us “being together” it’ll definitely happen sooner rather than later, so it would be dumb of us to do this for really long,” He explained and you were nodding along to his words. “And the PDA stuff around him doesn’t need to be excessive or anything; probably just hand-holding and simple stuff like that will be good. Also, I’m pretty sure every college relationship seems rushed, so this won’t feel any different from that.”

Maybe Steve had been thinking a lot about this too, or maybe he’d done something like this before. You weren’t sure which option would’ve been more surprising to you, but either way, you were realizing how right he was about everything he had just said; especially the last thing, which was what you'd been the most worried about. Your mind traveled back to the earliest stages of Eddie’s relationship with Chrissy, which you had pretty much a front-row seat to. How attached they became to each other after only their first few dates definitely felt abrupt and surprising to you, but it never felt rushed or fake.

“Yeah, you’re right,” You said to Steve as you nodded again.

You two were in his apartment sitting in his living room when he finally decided to mention his parents. Steve was on the couch and you were on the floor because you were leaning over his coffee table with a notebook opened in front of you. It had been a mutual decision to write down all of the rules and stuff that you both came up with for the “fake dating plan” after you realized that there was a lot of thought going into this thing and you didn’t want anything that either of you said to be forgotten in a day or two. Steve pulled out an old notebook for you to write in; it was mostly full of past Economics notes, but it had a handful of empty pages toward the end.

Everything he told you about his parents sounded like the plot of a movie or a book, and it was both surprising and fascinating to hear that shit like that actually happened in real life. Apparently, they were super intense about him settling down and getting into a serious relationship, so they were constantly trying to set him up with someone. They wanted him to be in a relationship that would lead to marriage by the time he graduates, and then married by twenty-four or twenty-five.

You truly couldn’t imagine your own parents caring that much about your love life, but apparently, rich people liked to do things differently. Steve hadn’t blatantly told you that he was rich, but he didn’t need to outwardly say it for you to know just how true that was. Case in point, his apartment was huge and really nice and you had tried your hardest not to look entirely awestruck by it when you first walked in, and he casually mentioned having to eventually take over “the family company;” which was also another reason why his parents were so intense about the whole marriage thing. Apparently, family businesses couldn’t be considered as such if the boss was single and a player.

“I like being single and not getting involved in anything serious at all, but they really want me to settle down right now,” Steve finished his explanation. “So if they think that I finally have a girlfriend, they’ll get off my back for a while.”

You let out a small laugh. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“That you do that kind of thing all of the time. Going on dates and stuff,” You said, placing the pen you had in hand down on the notebook. You leaned back against the couch and looked up at him. “And it honestly makes sense. Pretty face, good at flirting, and big charmer. Girls probably love that shit.”

“Did you?” He asked, smiling at you. You almost rolled your eyes at how he almost too easily went back to flirting with you; now you realized it was probably just second nature for him.

“If I wasn’t pining for someone else, I might’ve fallen for it.”

“Good to know that my charms still somewhat work then.”

You were suddenly thinking about an alternate universe where you had no feelings for Eddie and you really did end up liking Steve after the date last night. Would you have felt heartbroken that he never called you again or that he didn’t want something serious or long-term? You immediately pushed those thoughts away because the hypothetical answer really didn’t matter. You focused your mind on something else.

“I’m only gonna be your “girlfriend” for a month, though, so how’s that gonna keep your parents from pestering you for longer than that?”

“I was thinking that I’d tell them that we’ve been together for three or four months, but that I didn’t want to mention you to them until things felt “serious.” They probably will want to meet you,” Steve said, and you nodded because you figured as such. “And then when I tell them that we’re over, I’ll say that it ended in some sort of fucked up way, and that will maybe get them to stop trying to set me up with their friends’ daughters for a while. Hopefully, at least, until the end of the summer.”

“You’re gonna make me a cheater, aren’t you?”

“Probably, yeah,” He responded with a quick shrug. “It’s either do that or be forced to go to the Hamptons for the whole summer and get set up with my future wife because they think I broke up with you or we ended things mutually but I’m still ready to be in a committed and long-term relationship.”

“They need to think you’re heartbroken,” You concluded for him.

“Exactly,” Steve nodded. “My dad probably won’t give a shit about the cheating, but my mom will and she’s the one that’s been the most adamant about the Hamptons thing.”

“Okay, in that case, I’m okay with you making me a cheater,” You said and then looked away from him, focusing back on the notebook. “This whole cheating talk has made me think of another rule to add that should probably be really obvious, but I think I need to put it anyway.” You picked up the pen again and wrote down, No dating other people while we do this. “I’m sorry, I know this will probably be really hard for you.”

Steve rolled his eyes at your mostly joking words. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything. I know that if Eddie or one of your roommates saw me with someone else it would mess everything up.”

“Yeah, exactly,” You said, glad that you two were on the same page about that. And you were now realizing that you two had actually been on the same page about pretty much everything you’d been talking about for the last hour. “Okay, and final thing— no matter what happens, we’re gonna go our separate ways once the month is up. Even if the plan doesn’t work or whatever else, we have to end it after a month.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, agreed.”

You wrote that last thing down and then closed the notebook.

“Okay, that’s it. We’re officially fake dating now, I guess,” You looked up at Steve again and held out your hand toward him. He laughed for a second before grabbing your outstretched hand and you two shook for a second to “seal the deal.”

Once again, you waited. Waited for regret or something equivalent to start swirling deep down inside of you. But still, it wasn’t there. Maybe this actually was a good idea.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“Eddie’s band has a gig tomorrow night,” You said when Steve was parked outside of your apartment building, dropping you off at home. “Do you wanna come?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Steve answered with a quick nod. “It’ll be the first time he sees us “together.””

“Yeah, let’s hope this somehow works.”

“It will.”

You really had no logical reason to trust how certain Steve sounded about everything right then, but you did anyway.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

next part!

taglist (lmk if you want to be added or taken off<333); @eddiernunson , @loulouloueh , @the-aster , @blckburd , @totally-bogus-timelady , @yujyujj , @irhdifartzamfyaa , @mochminnie , @munsonssweets , @blckbrrybasket

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington series #stranger things fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things series

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