#not the worst time of my life or anything

[yuuuhiii]

dirty little secret ᡣ𐭩

sum : Satoru has always been popular. With his good-looking face and eccentric personality, it was no wonder. He's every girls dream guy, whether that be for a quick fuck or lover. However, amidst a game of seven minutes in heaven you find out his dirty little secret and use it against him.

includes : 5.8k words, SMUT! (minors go away.) , sub!satoru x dom!reader, reader is kinda mean…, enemies?? to lovers, situationship, loss of virginity, heavy miscommunication, maybe ooc Satoru?, college au, alcohol usage

Satoru was always the talk of your college's campus. They were always about the same thing.

"I heard he has a big dick and knows how to use it."

"I heard he has girls cumming in seconds."

It was honestly tiring to hear every single time you'd sit in your lecture. Did anyone ever have anything else to talk about.

You never liked him.

It's not like he ever did anything to you or said anything. You guys had never interacted actually. You just hated how popular he was and how everyone seemed to be obsessed with him.

Yea he was hot but so was his best friend so what made Satoru so special.

You were never popular, you'd say you were actually pretty irrelevant, but you never minded that. You liked your peaceful and somewhat lonely life.

You were never one for parties but one of your friends. More like your only friend, begged you to come. You had only agreed because when there's a party there's alcohol.

And who didn't love to drink a little and let loose.

The party was honestly less than disappointing. That could just be your opinion though, you loved to judge what could you say.

It was funnier the more you thought of it. Just a bunch of horny college kids in someone's house with wack ass lights and a stupid playlist. You never got the appeal but hey you were here so.

However never in a million years would you think literal adults would be playing seven minutes in heaven. The worst part was you were one of the adults in the circle. You had lost a game with your friend, so this was the outcome.

Now as you sit in the circle with a fat frown on your face, it deepens when you realize Satoru and his best friend are in the circle.

What were the odds you would land seven minutes in a stupid cramped closet with him. You'd say zero but—

shit.

Satoru locks eyes with you and blinks. No cheeky smile that he'd give every other girl, just a blank stare and flushed cheeks which you assumed was from the alcohol. The other girls in the circle whine and you roll your eyes, standing up and grabbing his wrist, dragging him in the closet.

"Don't have to much fun!" Suguru says as he locks the door.

It's quiet. Very quiet.

And dark.

You can barely see your clothes and even your hands. Ironically you can feel Satoru burning holes into your face.

"Stop staring." You grumble. He jumps and looks at his hands.

"Sorry." He mumbles.

Ok...weird? Why wasn't he making advances on you? Did he not find you attractive?

The thought of that has you rolling your eyes. It's not like you cared about what he thought but he surely wasn't living up to ‘his name’.

"You're not gonna do anything?" You break the silence, and he perks up.

"Hm?" He blinks and you shift on your feet.

"Nothing, it's just a little shocking. Thought you'd be trying to get in my pants by now." You laugh and he purses his lips.

"What do you mean?"

This guy.

"Oh, come on don't play stupid. You know what I mean." You cross your arms.

He blinks.

“You sleep with like every girl on campus!” You swing your hands and he messes with his hands. He awkwardly laughs and you are beyond confused right now.

“I-I’m a virgin.” He mumbles.

No.

Fucking.

Way.

You burst out laughing but quiet down as he just stands there.

“Wait. You’re serious?”

His silence has your jaw almost on the floor.

“Oh my god!” You laugh in amusement.

“It’s all a lie.” You laugh again and his brows pull together.

“N-No. I mean I make out with girls but I just don’t sleep with them.” He crosses his arms, tired of your humiliation.

“Yea but these girls think you’re like some sex god.” You smirk and he huffs.

“I wonder what everyone would say when they find out you’re a virgin.” You tap on your lips and he gasps.

“You wouldn’t.” He straightens up.

“Oh but I would.” You grin and he’s sweating bullets.

“I-I’ll do anything!” He pleads and your eyes widen in surprise.

You would be lying if you said having the most popular guy on campus like this wasn’t exciting for you.

“Anything?” You say slyly and he nods immediately.

Your mind is filled with lewd thoughts of him. Having this obnoxious confident boy begging at your feet had you riled up.

“So all of it’s an act huh?” You bite your lip, trying to hide your smile.

“This is gonna be fun.” You look at him and his heart skips a beat.

“Alright! Times up losers!” Suguru says as he opens the door.

He’s confused to see you both looking the same as when you entered. You push off the wall with a smirk but Satoru grabs your wrist.

“A-Are you gonna text me?” He looks so pathetic.

You look him up and down.

“I’ll see you soon.” You feign innocence and push past Suguru.

“Dude, what happened?” Suguru blinks between your retreating figure and Satoru.

“I think I missed up.” He runs a hand through his hair.

Satoru has been on edge this whole week. He’s so paranoid, you haven’t even texted him or anything.

Would you go back on your word?

You wouldn’t right?

Did you not wanna see him anymore?

He jumps when a buzz from his phone goes off. It’s a text from you saying to open the door and his eyes widen.

He flys out of his room and goes to open his door. It’s dead in the night and you’re standing there with a monotone look on your face.

“Uh, hi.” He mumbles and you look up at him, a smile rising to your face.

“Can I come in?” You blink and he opens the door, shuffling to the side.

He’s in grey sweatpants and a loose black shirt, his pale hair shooting everywhere.

“So, uh, why’re you here.” He’s messing with his hands, something you noticed he does when he’s nervous.

“I just finished studying and I couldn’t sleep so.” You drift off, looking around.

“Wanna have some fun?” You say with a mischievous glint in your eye.

“Fun..?” He gulps and you step closer to him.

“Mhm.” You hum, gliding your finger up his arm. His breathing is uneven, you catch on and you bite your lip.

“Only if you wanna of course.” You look around and he nods.

“Words.” You snap your eyes back to him.

“Yea, that’s fine.” He nods, a blush forming on his face.

Your arms fly to wrap his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He freezes for a second but then he’s kissing you back. His hands joining at your waist.

He was a good kisser at least but this only made you more curious to know just how far he’s gone.

You swipe your tongue over his mouth and he gives you entry. Your tongue wastes no time in meddling with his. He groans when your tongue flattens against his, his hands tightening on your waist. You pull away with a smile and his eyes are cloudy.

“Wanna go to your room?” He nods dumbly, leading you to his room.

It’s a little messy but pretty minimalistic at that.

“Are you always this nervous?” You blink up at him and he shuffles.

“No? I’m usually drunk when I’m making out with girls so.” He nods and you hum.

He looks small as he sits on his bed, fidgeting with his hands again. You feel a little bad.

“We don’t have to do anything.” You say and his eyes snaps towards you.

“No! I-I want to.” He licks his lips and you grin.

“Ok!” You hum, standing up and sitting yourself on his lap.

His breath hitches but before he can collect himself your lips are on his. His eyes flutter closed as your tongue dominates his, his hands rub along the small of your back, pulling you closer to him.

One of your hands drag down his chest, resting on his stomach. He stutters and you bite his lip making him moan. You pull away grinning at his now red puffy bottom lip.

“Wanna take these off?” You pull at his sweats and he gives you a meek nod. He wiggles them off and you palm him through his boxers. He hisses, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Have you ever been touched like this? Hm?” He shakes his head no and mindlessly squeeze your thighs together.

“How come?” You squeeze him and he lets out a whine, pre cum staining his boxers.

“I-I don’t know.” He breathes out and you kiss his tip through his underwear, his pupils are blown as he stares at you.

“That’s it? You don’t know?” You mumble as you pull down his boxers, his cock slapping against his stomach.

“How come someone knows your dick is big then.” You cock your head to the side, pumping him. He whimpers with his lip tugged between his teeth.

“Y—You—fuck—think I’m big?” His doe eyes boring into yours. You let him go and he whines.

“Answer my question.”

“S-Some girl groped me, I think.”

Your eyes darken.

“So you lied?” Your hand stops.

“N-No! I’m sorry don’t stop.” He moans, grabbing your hand and placing it on his cock.

“I told you I get drunk so I…don’t remember.” He sighs when your thumb glides along his slit.

“Hm.” You seem displeased and he gulps.

“Are you mad?” He breathes heavily and you shake your head. Your tongue gliding along the base of his cock.

“Oh fuck.” He moans. You finally take him in your mouth and he’s whining.

“So warm.” He rests on his elbows, not wanting to miss even a second of this.

You stare up at him and you feel his cock twitch, making your lips twitch upwards. You set a steady pace and jerk whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

“Yes—yes.” He chants, shaking as he lifts a hand to move hair out of your face. You remove your hand and take the rest of him, his tip hitting the back of your throat.

“I’m cumming!” He yells, his legs shaking as his load shoots down your throat.

He’s moaning and panting as his high rushes over. You pull off with a pop but your hand keeps jerking him.

“N-No, s’to much.” He whimpers, too weak to stop you.

“You don’t want anyone to know right?” He shakes his head, not fully understanding what you said.

“Then take it and shut up.” You say and he whines.

You’re sucking his tip and he’s only letting out whimpers at this point. His eyes water, his balls tightening again.

“I’m gonna fucking cum.” He sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Your hand squeeze his balls and his mouth falls open but no noise comes out. You swallow all he gives you, even though it’s less this time. His white hair sticks to his forehead as he takes big gulps of air.

You pepper kisses on his thighs, making him jump when you suck a mark. You pull his boxers back up and he’s still in the same position. His mind fucked because of the mind blowing orgasm you just gave him. You wipe his lash line for any stray tears and he stares at you fondly.

“That was, amazing.” He huffs out and you laugh.

“Whatever I’ll see you later.” You peck his cheek and he flys up.

“You’re leaving?” He stares at you, you hate how he looks at you with doe eyes. Your stomach fluttering at the sight. He’s like a puppy.

“Um yea? It’s late.”

He looks down.

“Right. Will I see you again?” He peers up at you with hope pooling in his eyes. You narrow your eyes but smile.

“Maybe.” You say leaving his room, leaving him to dwell on what just happened.

For the rest of the week you don’t stop by but Satoru can’t keep you off his mind. He sees you around campus but all you do is send him a flirty look and smile as you walk away with your friends. He wants to talk to you but he’s not sure if you’d like that.

Would you be mad if he tried to go up and talk to you?

Did you only want things to be a secret?

What if you stopped seeing him?

Wait.

He was only doing this so you wouldn’t tell anyone his secret. At least that’s what he’d tell himself.

The next time you come over is a night when there’s supposed to be a party. He’s getting ready to leave but when he opens the door you’re there, Satoru and Suguru’s eyes widening.

“Y/n? What’re you doing here?” He blinks, his cheeks growing red.

Suguru looks amused and with a laugh he’s out the door.

“Hey, wait!” He goes to follow him but you catch his arm.

“You’re not going.” You say calmly and he’s confused.

“Huh? Why not?”

“Because I don’t want you to?” You say and you pull him into his apartment.

“Why do you wanna go? So you can make out with some random bitch? Or what, get your dick sucked?” You raise a brow and he pouts.

“Well, I didn’t know you were coming…I thought you ghosted me!” He points a finger at you and you laugh.

“Ghost you?” You look amused.

“Well, yes. You don’t talk to me or anything so.” You tilt your head.

“I won’t taint your reputation? It won’t be weird if you’re seen talking to me?” You grin and he’s puzzled.

“No…? Why does that matter?” His words make you freeze but you don’t let them affect you that much.

Hopefully he didn’t catch what he said because that basically contradicts this whole situation.

“Whatever, come on.” You drag him to his room but he stops you.

“Wait!” You face him and he glances away shyly.

“What?” You look at him skeptically.

“I…wanna make you feel good.” He says.

“I obviously don’t know how but I wanna try.” He looks at you and you bite your lip.

“Yea? You wanna make me feel good?” You smirk, stepping closer to him. You grab his hand.

“Where? Here?” You place his hand on your clothed cunt and he gulps. His adams apple bobbing.

“Y-Yea, there.”

“Mk, show me what you got.” You smile and he does too, eager to please you. He’s a little to happy when you lay down on his bed.

“Someone’s excited.” He pauses, blinking.

You roll your eyes.

“It’s cute.” He blushes and doesn’t say anything letting his lips connect with yours.

He doesn’t spend much time on your lips and leads kisses down your neck, making your breath hitch. He’s giddy, wanting to pull more noises out of you. His hands slip under your shirt, slowly sliding them up and grabbing your breasts.

“Pervert.” You gasp and he smiles.

“Can I take it off?” You nod and he helps you, throwing it behind him.

He scatters pecks all over your breasts, pushing your bra down and you unclasp it. He licks his lips before he takes your nipple in his mouth sucking and licking at it aggressively. Your hands tangle in his hair and he groans against your nipple, moving to your other one.

After teasing them he’s moving down until he reaches your pants. He looks up waiting for your approval and you nod. He unbuttons them and lets you slide them off. He’s met with your white panties, a bow right in the middle. But he stops and looks at you again.

“What’s wrong?” You ask and he gulps.

“C-Can you sit on my face.” He bites his lip. You blush to but try to hide it with your smile.

“You’re a freak you know that?” But you tug him up on his bed. He stares up at you as you remove your panties. His arms wrap around your thighs and he kisses your them, placing a kiss right on your slit.

Only then do you realize he’s mirroring your actions from when you gave him head and you smile. His eyes lock on to your pussy and you’re glistening and fuck he’s so hard. He lays his tongue flat against your cunt and you whine.

Then hell breaks loose.

He pulls you down and slurps you up like a mad man. His head moving side to side for more friction.

“Fuck, just like that ‘Toru.” You moan and he groans at the nickname.

He sucks on your clit and you tug at his hair, making him eat you faster. He inserts his tongue finger inside your gaping hole, loving the way it sucks him in. You gasp and he’s fucking you with his tongue.

“Oh my god.” You whine, pulling at his hair and grinding down on his face. He groans and the vibrations only stimulate you more.

“Gonna cum, keep going.” You pant, riding his face faster as he smothers his mouth with your pussy.

He pulls out his tongue and sucks your clit sending you off the edge. You whine loudly as you ride his face, holding his headboard for stability. Satoru slurps up everything you give him, kissing your thighs when you come down from your high.

You slide off of him, right on to his hard cock. He sits up, wiping his mouth.

“Did I do good?” He asks, massaging your thighs.

You hum, your head a little clouded as you rest your face on his shoulder. His stomach is doing back flips at your acknowledgment.

“You can sleep here if you want. You look tired.” He mumbles in your ear and you agree.

He places you on his bed gently as he gets up to find your panties. Once he gets them he stares at them.

“Uh, do you want boxers, they’re soaked.” You pout, as a blush rises to your cheeks.

“Depends, do they have skid marks.” His mouth drops in disgust.

“Ew!” He looks mortified and you laugh.

“I’ll take some you idiot.”

He grumbles as he goes and fetches some from his drawer. He slides them on you and plops down next to you. You both are laid on your back and he’s nervous. Tapping his fingers against his chest.

“Stop fidgeting.” You turn towards him and he stops.

He steals a glance at you but your eyes are closed, soft snores leaving you. He smiles softly, lights pushing hair behind your ear. He’s turns to you now, placing his chin on top of your head.

Your eyes blink open to a white fluff of hair, making you groan. You swipe it out of your face and look around you. Satoru’s arms are wrapped around you, hugging you close to him.

He’s sound asleep, his long white lashes resting on the apple of his cheeks. He really was handsome, ethereal even and that has you wondering on what the fuck you were doing.

You claimed to hate this man, but here you are in his arms and in his bed.

You never thought of yourself as a good person but not a bad one either, just mediocre. It didn’t really matter though, why should you care about his feelings. He only cares about his reputation plus he’s probably over the moon to have a girl he can fuck around with.

You’re using him and he’s using you too. You know after all this he’ll just show what he learned to whatever girl that falls at his feet. And actually, finally, live up to his stupid reputation.

You sigh and detach yourself from him. You slip out of his boxers and put your panties on along with your pants. You slip on your shoes and give him one last look before you’re tiptoeing to the front door.

“Had fun?” You freeze, you didn’t notice Suguru standing against the kitchen counter with a mug in his hands.

“There’s coffee if you want some.” He nods his head and you eye him, looking at the door again.

“I’m good.” You say reaching for the door knob.

“He likes you y’know, has for a while now.”

Your stomach churns.

What?

You turn to him but he’s already looking at you. He laughs at your face, shaking his head.

“That’s the only reason why he’s nervous, letting you do things with him, he doesn’t care for the reputation, he’s using it as an excuse to be with you.” Suguru looks you dead in the eye.

Well, that kinda makes sense for how he acted.

“So if you don’t like him let him down easy yea?” Suguru smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. You nod and finally open the door and leave.

What the fuck were you gonna do now.

You avoided Satoru like a plague, you didn’t look at him like you used to and you didn’t show up anymore.

Did he do something wrong?

Was it too far to have you sleepover?

Were you finally tired of him?

Satoru was sad and it hurt Suguru to see him like this. He didn’t even wanna go to parties anymore so Suguru takes it in his own hands talk to you. So when you’re walking with your friend, he appears in front of you.

“We gotta talk.” He doesn’t even let you say no because he’s pulling you away.

“Let go!” You rip your hand away from him and he stares at you angrily.

“What the fuck are you doing avoiding Satoru.”

Shit.

“I told you how he felt so you wouldn’t hurt him and you’re hurting him.”

You scoff.

“Oh please. He’ll find someone else soon enough.”

“Fuck off, that’s a lie and you know that.” He spits back.

You are.

You were too guilty to face Satoru. What were you gonna say.

‘Hey I know you like me but I was just using you for my selfish desires!’

That was only partly true. Because despite the ‘sex’ you’d catch yourself staring longer than you should’ve been, admiring his stupid face and loving his flushed cheeks.

“How does he even like me! We never talked once!” You throw your hands up.

“How should I know? He just came back to the apartment one day and wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

Your brows furrow as you glance at the ground.

“I don’t think I’m good for him, my intentions weren’t good. So how do you expect me to face him.” You mumble.

“Then tell him that. Stop being a bitch and avoiding him, we’re not kids. You’re a fucking adult so communicate your feelings.” Your eyes snap up to him.

“That’s rich coming from you. He hasn’t even told me how he felt!”

Suguru sighs, rubbing at his eyes.

“Gosh you women are so fucking complicated. Just talk to him.”

Is the last thing he says before he leaves. You chew at your lip and sigh. He was right, you did need to talk to him.

The next day, you knock on his door. When he opens it his eyes widen.

“Y/n?” His eyes are full again, bright and shining.

“Can we talk.” You mutter and he nods, letting you in.

“Look I’m sorry if last time was to far, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He rambles and you sigh.

“Satoru, you didn’t do anything.” You say but he cuts you off.

“Toru.” He says.

“What?”

“You called me Toru last time. So it’s Toru.”

You sigh.

“Satoru—”

His eyes are pleading.

“Toru… I know you like me. And I feel like shit because, well I didn’t know and I was just doing stuff with you because it got me riled up. I guess. So I avoided you.” You glance at the floor and he’s quiet. You look up at him and he has a small smile.

“I got you riled up?”

Your dumbfounded.

“This is serious. I was just using you. I-I’m sorry.”

He takes a step closer to you.

“You don’t…feel anything for me? Like besides the sex? Or whatever we were doing.” He gazes down at you.

“I’m gonna be honest. I used to not like you. I thought you were just some selfish popular prick but turns out I was just the selfish prick.” You grumble.

“But what about now. What do you think of me now.” He pushes and you flush up.

“Well you’re stupidly pretty. And funny. I like how timid you are around me, it makes me feel good. But that’s just me being a selfish. You’re kind though. Despite me treating you like shit. You’re still patient.”

He smiles.

“I forgive you.” He says and you look up at him.

“W-What? No. You should hate me.” You shake your head and he pouts.

“Why?”

“Because I treated you bad Toru.”

“Well, I lied to you. I said I cared about my reputation but that wasn’t true.”

“That isn’t merely as bad as what I did.” You deadpan.

“But I still like you.”

“Why?” You couldn’t understand.

“Because you’re stupidly pretty. You’re funny to and I love your smile and laugh. I like when you praise me but that might just be because I have a big fat crush on you.” He laughs and you smile at him copying you.

“I-I like you a lot and as bad as it is. I was too much of a pussy to tell you how I felt so I let you use me.”

You pout.

“We’re stupid.” You laugh and he smiles.

“Yea. We are.”

It’s silent but in no way awkward.

“Y/n?”

You glance up at him.

“Yea?”

“Can you take my virginity.” His eyes are lidded and your jaw drops.

“W-What? Toru no. I don’t know if—”

He stops you with his hands resting on your waist.

“Please. I wanna lose it to you.” He pleads, moving some hair behind your ear.

You chew at your lip, glancing around his apartment.

“Are—you sure.” You gaze up at him and he rests his forehead on yours.

“I’m reallyyy sure.” He smiles and you smile too. He peck your lips and leads you to his room.

He doesn’t seem nervous like all the other times but happy. He’s smiley when he kisses you and playful with his hands.

It doesn’t take long for you both to be bare and he’s showering you with kisses. You’re on top of him at the moment but he flips you over, his arms resting beside your head.

“You’re gonna have to coach me through this.” He laughs and you smile.

“Well I thought I was gonna do the work.” You snort and he shakes his head.

“I wanna make you feel good. Making you feel good makes me feel good.” He smiles and you peck his cheek.

“Well I mean there’s not much to it. You just put it in and fuck me.” You shrug and he narrows his eyes.

“Hm. Okay then. There’s no tips and tricks?” He purses his lips and you grin.

“That’s for you to find out.” He laughs, pumping himself, his smile fades and his face morphs into worry.

“Do you have a condom?” You blink.

“Uh, no? I didn’t really think this was how my night was gonna go.” He bites his lip, rubbing your hips.

“Maybe Suguru has some.” He ponders.

“I’m on the pill.” You mutter and he gazes at you.

“So I can like, cum inside you?”

“Well I mean it’s safer if you don’t but considering you’re a virgin I don’t think your pull out game will be strong.”

“Is that a challenge?” He grins and you laugh at his stupidity.

“No, Toru it’s a fact.” He still takes it as a challenge though. So when he goes back to jerking himself a bit, he rubs his member along your slick. He’s already moaning.

“Feels good.” He stutters, his tip teasing your hole.

“Put it in Toru.” You whine and he licks his lips, pushing his length inside you.

“So impatient—Oh fuck.” He groans, his hands gripping your thighs harshly. You moan at his size and he’s breathless.

“So warm—ngh—and tight.” He whimpers. He was gonna blow his fucking load if he didn’t calm himself down. He pulls back and gives an experimental thrust.

The both of you moaning.

“Shit, pussy so good.” He whispers. You wrap your legs around his waist.

“Move, Toru.”

So he does. With his hands moving to your hips he gives you no time as he’s fucking into you hard and fast.

“Mm, you feel so fucking good.” He’s biting his lip so hard, it’s a wonder how it’s not bleeding.

He’s so long and veiny you feel him so deep with every thrust. His tip continuously kissing your cervix.

“Fuck! Slow down!” You yelp, his hips snapping against yours.

“Can’t! It’s to good, to good.” He moans so prettily.

He’s getting desperate and pussy drunk. Without missing a beat he leans down to press messy kisses on your neck. He sucks bruises on them and some on your breasts.

“Toru.” You whine and he’s man handling you at this point.

Using the mattress as leverage to fuck you faster. You don’t know how he’s moving so fast and rolling his hips so good but you’re gripping his sheets, dragging your nails on his back. He groans at this, his hair sticking to his forehead.

“I’m gonna cum, fuck I’m gonna cum.” He repeats. His mind is already lost, the only thing he can think of is how fucking tight and warm you are.

“Cum with me baby please.” He whines in your ear, moving a hand down to flick your clit at a rapid speed. Your moans ring out through his ears, the way you writhe under him drives him fucking crazy.

“Fuck, you’re getting tighter.” He gasps, his legs shaking. He feels your walls flutter around him, your guys orgasm crashing down on the both of you.

“Cumming!” He throws his head back, his eyes rolling as he fucks his seed deep in you. You’re both gasping as you try to calm down. But with a squeeze of your cunt, he’s rutting into you again.

“Fuck! S-Satoru wait!” You moan, trying to get his hips from abusing your poor cunny.

“M’sorry, s’good.” He’s slurring, he’s fucked out and addicted. Nothing but guttural moans leave his mouth. Breathless whines of your name as tears well up in his eyes.

“S’tight.” He babbles, his tears falling onto your cheeks.

You’re both moaning so loud as he pushes your knees to your chest. The new position has you screaming as the coil in your belly snaps again. Satoru lets out a sob, his cock reaching deeper inside you with this new angle.

He doesn’t say anything when he finishes inside you again. His orgasm rakes through his whole body as he hunches over you. Pathetic moans leave his mouth as he holds you close to him, emptying all of him inside you.

He hiccups as he falls on top of you. His forehead resting on your shoulder as you both catch your breath.

He leans up and kisses you. His tongue connecting with yours. He moans in your mouth, pulling out of you and letting both of your juices spill out of you.

A string of saliva connects both your mouths when he pulls away. He rolls off of you, the both of your guys minds still fuzzy.

“I’m gonna use the restroom.” You mumble, your mind not quite all there. He looks at you in a daze.

“Let me help you. I have to clean you don’t I?” He holds your hand and you smile.

“Yea, that would feel better.” You huff out a laugh and he slides off the bed. His legs a little shaky. He grabs a random shirt, cautiously wiping you down.

“Here.” He places a shirt on you, his scent engulfing you. He throws on his boxers and picks you up.

“H-Hey!” You yelp your arms shooting around his neck. He smiles down at you, opening his door.

When he’s on his way to the bathroom, Suguru walks in the through the front door. All of you freezing, caught like a deer in headlights. Suguru blinks and you shove your face in Satrou’s chest.

“I’m guessing you guys did more than talk?” Suguru laughs.

“Mhm!” Satoru nods his head and your cheeks warm.

“Toru.” You whisper and he perks up.

“Shit. Sorry.” He waddles to the bathroom. He places you down and quickly leaves to let you do your thing.

“Let me know if you need help.” He says and you shake your head with a laugh. Satoru turns around and narrows his eyes.

“You! Go in your room or something.” He shoos at Suguru and they both glare at each other.

“This is my apartment too!” He whisper yells back.

“I can hear you guys.” You say from behind the door and they both straighten up.

Suguru glares at Satoru again before he goes in his room. You open the door and Satoru smiles. He grabs your hand and walks you back into his room.

“I’d offer to shower with you but I think I’d probably fuck you again.” He laughs and you playfully roll your eyes.

He pulls back his sheets and opens his arms for you to join him. You slide under with him and he’s pulling you flush against him. Your hands tangle in his hair as he shoves his face in the crook of your neck.

“How’s it feel to not be a virgin anymore.” You grin and he bites your neck.

“Ow!” You pout and he smiles against your skin.

“Amazing. I’d say let’s go for another round.” You whine at his words.

“I think I’d pass out.” You both laugh.

“We did this completely backwards.” He mumbles against your skin.

“I wanted to take you out on a nice cute date and see you dressed up all pretty as we shared our first kiss.” You laugh at his words.

“You had it all planned out hm?” He smiles, nodding.

“Of course. But I’ll take you out tomorrow and still kiss you and then ask you to be mine.” He sighs.

“You’re cute.” You smile, pecking his head.

“Would you say yes?”

He asks and you let out a long hum. He pinches your waist and you laugh. His smile growing wider at the sound.

“Of course I would you dummy.” Your hand glides along his soft hair.

“Good because I’d probably get on my knees and beg.”

“Oh?” You say seductively and he laughs.

“And you say I’m the pervert.”

You guys talk for hours in each other’s arms. Turns out Satoru had two secrets. But none of it mattered now.

He wasn’t a virgin anymore. And he was finally dating the girl he had a big fat crush on.

© yuuuhiii 24 : don’t plagiarize, translate, or post my work on other platforms

[naturesapphic]

Yn throwing a BIG tantrum she was having a bad bad week and came home and saw that billie had some friends over and she was laughing with them and all when previously she told you that she had to concentrated on her album so y’all couldn’t have a little moment together like a movie night. After her friends left the tantrum begged and I mean like slamming doors screaming cursing crying pushing her away trowing things and all

Ignored

billie eilish x fem!reader

Warnings: screaming, cussing, shoving, breakdown

Relief filled your body as you got out of your car and walked up to the shared house with your girlfriend. You couldn’t wait to go inside and relax after having one of the worst weeks. You unlocked the front door and your ears heard laughter fill the whole house. Confused, you walked further in the house, stepping into the living room to see billie and her friends cutting up. You felt your heart drop down to your stomach and watched as Billie was cuddled up between two friends.

You remembered Billie telling you that she had to focus on her music. That was her excuse for not having a movie night with you this week and now here she is, out of her studio and cutting up with her friends. You saw Billies eyes look over at you and a frown takes over her face. She knew she had fucked up. Immediately Billie told that it was time for them to go so she could spend some time with you and they all awed at how cute that was. You didn’t even pay attention, you were so deep in your head. When her friends left that’s when all hell broke lose.

“Y/n listen-“ Billie began but you didn’t want to hear any of her bullshit. “N-no! Fuck you billie! You kept saying “oh I need to work on my music” blah blah blah. Yet, here you were, hanging out with your fucking friends when I’ve been trying to hang out with you one on one for weeks!” You shout as you start to walk away from her. “Hey! Don’t walk away we need to talk about this. Please let me explain.” Billie begged as she gently grabbed your arm to keep you from walking away. “What’s there to explain! You don’t want to hang out with your girlfriend!” You spat out as you yanked your arm away from her and stomped up the stairs as tears burned your eyes.

Billie sighed and followed closed behind you. “I do want to hang out with you! They texted me last minute to see if I was free and I was!” Billie explained and you scoffed. You went to go to y’all’s room when Billie ran in front of you to block you from going in. Filled with rage and annoyance, you pushed her out of the way which caused her to stumble away but she stood back up easily and looked at you with a glare. You pushed past her and slammed the door shut and Billie immediately started banging on it. “Y/n…open this fucking door!” She yelled out and you didn’t say anything so she kept banging. “Fuck you billie!” You cry out and she smirked on the other side of the door. “Okay. Then unlock the door so I will.” She said, trying to lighten the situation.

“Please babygirl unlock the door. I’m really sorry.” She begged and you sighed. You went up to the door and unlocked it then went to sit on the edge of the bed. Billie opened the door slowly and peeked her head and spotted you. She went over to you and sat down beside you but left a little gap in the middle to give you some space. “Do you still love me?” You ask with a shaky breath as you look up at her. Your eyes showing vulnerability and fearfulness. “Babygirl…of course I do. You’re the love of my life.” She breathed out as she scooted closer to you and took your face in her soft hands. “I am so sorry that im making you this upset. I absolutely hate it. When they texted, I was getting done with work early so I could spend time with you when you got home but I didn’t know when you would be home so I said yes to their message. Plus I haven’t seen them in a while and I missed them.” Billie explained and you nodded your head.

“I-im sorry…” you whimpered out as fresh new tears blurred your vision. “Princess…don’t be sorry…I know you were extremely upset and acted out on it. We will work through it together but im not mad at you so don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” She said softly, reassuring you. “Now…why don’t we go downstairs and have our movie night hm?” Billie said smiling at you. She stands up and extends her hand out for you to take and you grab it, her helping you up. The two of you went downstairs and started the movie night, finally spending some quality time together.

A/n: thank you anon for this request! I hope you and everyone else enjoyed it. GUYS OMG IM ALMOST AT 3,000 FOLLOWERS OMG! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! Take care of yourselves. I love y’all :)

[save-the-villainous-cat]

"Are you sure you're okay?"

The hero couldn't only hear the villain's heartbeat increase, they could also feel it. Sense it.

Most of the time, the hero managed perfectly to incorporate this (very unfortunate) condition of theirs into their normal life. It wasn't much of a burden and immortality, although they hadn't had it for long, turned out to be quite interesting.

"Yup," the hero said. But the hunger was probably the worst part about it.

The first few weeks, the hero had taken rather embarrassing measures and slaughtered farm animals outside of the city. Although it was enough blood to satisfy them, it turned out that being a vampire wasn't primarily about the blood.

It was about the power. When their prey struggled, the hero's mood improved considerably and not only that, they also didn't need to feed on something alive for quite a while after a pleasing kill. It was about the struggle, about the fight.

About sinking their fangs into soft, warm flesh. It was about survival.

"You are drooling all over my wrist." The villain did not act like it but the hero knew they were scared. Their heart was raging and their pupils were blown up, almost like they feared the hero would attack them any second now.

But, of course not. The hero could control themselves perfectly. After all, they were supposed to serve the people of the city.

The hero was a specialist when it came to figuring out how to change. When the farm animals had started to become unappetizing, the hero switched to blood donations - which was surprisingly even worse - and suffered ever since.

But they prevailed.

It was part of the deal, they supposed. Vampires suffered just like people did and they couldn't betray the trust the people had put in them.

"A little greedy, aren't ya?" the villain asked and when the hero looked at them, they realized their lips were already on the villain's wrist. Their own fingers dug into the villain's forearm and they had, in fact, slavered all over their enemy's wrist.

Slowly, they parted from the villain's arm and ultimately, let go of it. It wasn't even embarrassing. The hero had accepted that they weren't quite "normal" anymore and that was fine.

Supposedly, their thoughts had carried them away. In general, the hero tried to minimize contact with people but the villain was kind of...unavoidable. And with the hunger? With the villain always being this close? What was the hero supposed to do?

"You didn't listen to me in the slightest, huh?"

The hero stared at them, almost dumbfounded. They couldn't tell when their brain had shut off, all they knew was that they had been injured pretty badly. The villain had found them. They had passed out. And now, they were in the villain's apartment.

Without hesitation, the hero looked down their body and lifted their shirt. Instead of the open and bleeding wound, there was a fresh scar on their abdomen, quite painful but not as bad as before.

That probably explained the hero's demonic hunger - they needed energy. Lots of it.

"Not really."

"I suggested..." The villain stared at their wrist full of saliva and rubbed it on the hero's shirt dry. Before the hero could say anything, the villain put a hand on their thigh and squeezed gently. They leaned over. "...that you might be in better hands if you joined me."

"Pff." The villain's heart was going crazy by now and the hero was impressed they were hiding it so well. Fear was a horrible feeling but ultimately, that was exactly what the hero found so satisfactory. "What's this? Seducing me to the dark side? What a pathetic attempt."

The hero raised their index finger, as if to lecture the villain.

"I have sworn to protect-"

"-every citizen of this city with all the power and mightiness I can offer, blah blah blah. I know," the villain said. "But have you considered that we might be..." The villain's hand crawled up the hero's thigh and the hero's eyes widened. "...more powerful together?"

"I am not interested in power," the hero said.

"Hm," the villain answered. They touched the hero's cheek gently and it became quite impossible to ignore the villain's heartbeat. Especially when their wrist was this close to their head. The villain smirked. "Is there nothing I can offer you?"

The hero stared into the villain's eyes and didn't dare to look away, not even when the villain shifted their hand so their wrist brushed the hero's lips.

"There is absolutely nothing...?" The hero could feel the blood pumping through the villain's veins against their lips. Images of the villain begging and moaning shot into the hero's head. Them turning, them somehow enjoying it when the hero let their kisses turn into bites.

Salvation came in many ways and the hero supposed they had been wrong.

It wasn't about fear. It wasn't about seeing someone or something struggle. It was about deliverance.

Deliverance from life. Deliverance from…other things.

It was torture either way and it slowly dawned on the hero that for the second time, they had been wrong. The villain was probably not afraid of them.

Christ, the hero wanted to bite. They wanted to break skin and taste blood.

They could have been gentle. They could have been really gentle for the villain.

"Well..." The villain pulled away their wrist and tilted their head, leaving the hero with a black hole in their stomach and a tendency for extreme violence they tried to hold back. "You know where to find me, in case you change your mind."

They smiled a sweet smile but the hero considered them to be a special kind of demon at the moment. Straight from hell, straight to torture them.

The hero gave back a pained smile, clearly moments away from snapping. But not even that hindered the villain from kicking them out of their apartment promptly.

[goodolddumbbanana]

Nexus to Moon: dramatic, mysterious, evil.

He is the monster. He forced me kneel, he hurts me, he makes me relived of all my mistakes. I couldn't fight him and the worst of it..... I. Scared. Of. Him.

Nexus to Sun: Bitch wants me to work for him and gets mad when I say no. Also... Cringe.

I am sorry but, has anyone felt a really drastically shift tones between Moon and Sun when they interact with Nexus?

Like Nexus really wants to hurt Moon, badly. He does not hesitate to cram his hands inside Moon's head, and mocks Moon for everything he did. It was intense, and we can feel it is Nexus the one who is in the control. And that Moon will not do or can try anything.

Also Moon gets kneel down and tortured pretty quick after that. Also he seems very scared of Nexus after each time he interacted with Nexus.

But Sun... I don't know man... I think I had made Nexus cooler in my head.

He is just so cringe. (THE GOD thingy makes me die a little bit whenever I hear him screaming that name)

I couldn't see the monster who hurt Moon with the way he was chasing Sun around and Sun just kept running like it is no ends tomorrow.

(Lmao dude just straight up pulling Naruto run on Nexus, really reminds me back then, of the times when Sun doing something stupid and Nexus just angrily yelling ran after him.)

And even when he had Sun at the corner, he couldn't say anything 'emotional damage' to Sun.

"What ... Are you insane?!"

"Yeah. I thought it was pretty obvious."

And baby girl is so obsessed with the fact he is no longer Moon, he thinks it is him who is still the one Sun calls for help. Which is sad and funny both at the same time.

Like we can feel a tiny small hesitant in Nexus's voice when Sun keeps saying 'Moon', like he thought Sun wants him to stop.

And how the issue gets dragged on the surface. Sun always feels like he couldn't help Nexus and Nexus also feels like he couldn't let Sun help him. (Because the same old story, Sun got hurt and kidnapped whenever he came with Nexus.)

"So now I have value for you?"

"Yeah, for once in your miserable life, you have value."

It is sad when they come back at each other like this. Especially when Nexus always says that he needs Sun back in the day.

"You had friends, you had a family. They love you."

Sun loves him. He still loves Nexus. He didn't want Nexus dead is one thing, but he seems so worried about Nexus (accidentally calling him Moon when seeing him got shot) and tries to make Monty stop shooting. Even after Nexus runway, Sun - the one who gets so infected by Negative Star power, still wants to know if Nexus is okay.

And when he was back at home, he wasn't even scared of Nexus, not like how he used to be terrified of Eclipse or Killcode or even when he interacts with Dark Sun. He seems just pissed and done at himself, and not even with Nexus.

"I didn't have friends. I was a replacement."

Nexus didn't consider Monty his friend. I mean it is totally understandable, especially when they hijacked his head before. But replacement... Really? Sure maybe at first with Sun, but what about Earth? She didn't know jack about you?

"Maybe at first, but I liked you."

Haha... Remember when Nexus said he was very appreciative of how Sun loved him more than Moon? Haha... Good times ...

"oh my..., cuz I was nicer to you."

"because you are nice."

"because I didn't beat you.... Guess what Sunny, you are nothing but a tool for me..."

He throws away any good things he did for Sun. He burned all their memories, and saw himself as a monster. He tried to make himself a monster towards Sun, and when seeing it didn't work, because Sun doesn't care about how horrible he is now, he straight down Sun with the 'I don't care about you' attitude.

"You know what... You are not worse than Moon. Hell you are not even better..."

'You are just exactly like Moon. ' I think it is what Sun wants to say. They are both so stuck in their own minds, never wanting to hear what other people say, what people are trying to prove they are so much better than this.

"I am me! NONE OF YOU COULD REALISE, I AM MY OWN PERSON!!!"

"I tried."

"No you didn't. You USED me. And now I am going to use you."

"I am sorry."

His voice seems so small. He sounds so heartbroken when he says sorry to Nexus, like we can feel the thought process behind Sun. He truly thinks everything happened was his fault, it is Sun's fault leading Nexus to become like this.

"Your apologies don't mean anything to me."

And Nexus sounds so wanting to move one, to get done with his job, to stop talking about the past. It doesn't matter if Sun says sorry or not, because he doesn't care. He doesn't want to care.

And the term he used... Dragging Sun into his lab and plug he into the machine, to let him never do any of his own will ever again....

What does Nexus think Sun will do with his own will? Like what exactly can Sun do? Yapping at his ears until it bleeds? Sun doesn't have any manipulated skills at all, he is so straightforward and honest to actually harm Nexus from behind, like, Nexus just needs to highjack Sun's head like Moon.

From my perspective, I think there are a lot of methods to let Sun do as Nexus plead, but Nexus only wants to stop thinking about Sun. Like if he fully controlled over Sun, he will not have to think about how Sun is disappointed in him anymore, He will not have to think of Sun as a human being, as his ex brother, as someone still cares about him.

And when Sun says he will not do as Nexus says? Nexus sounds didn't surprise at all. They understand each other too well to know even Sun sometimes a coward, he will not give up like that for Nexus.

Also... Why did he not just threaten Moon? Or Dazzle? Or Jack? Just like how he mocks Solar?

Did he not want his older brother to think of him lower?

"...I have you kneel at me, right ? So look at your superior being."

The way Nexus said that, it makes me feel sad. Like, Nexus so wants to cut off Sun, to make Sun think of him as a monster, to hurt Sun not even in the way it matters.

He still couldn't hit Sun at his lowest, I mean, back then, Old Moon even worse with Sun both emotionally and physically back in the days.

Even after so much nonsense craps, Sun still unharmed. He tortured Moon, he mocked Solar, but Sun.... There is no win in this fight.

Their fighting still looks so much more than their so used banter before... I wish Nexus and Sun will be still brothers ;.;

Sidenote: I love that Ruin tries to convince Nexus to think more with his head but just ends up giving up like : oh right, screw you then, asshole.

Very baby girl behaviour of him.

[caitlinsgirl]

Reader drunk texting caitlin

Summary: caitlin and the narrator are childhood friends. narrator joins coworkers on a night out despite not wanting to go.

Word count: 820ish

author's note: something quick i wrote while wasting time at work <3 thank you sm for requesting it's very inspiring

tags: alcohol, clubs, taylor swift

 A Rose by Any Other Name is a Scandal

            Another night, another boring night, another lame night surrounded by folks who could not care less about me. The loud speakers of the club project a bass that shake my bones. My third martini glass sits heavy in my hand as I stare into space. I wish to be anywhere but here. The high-pitched blabbering of the people from my work cut through the noise, but it still sounds like a lump of gibberish to me. I would rather spend my night with anyone but them. Well, maybe not anyone…

 

           How easy it is to agree to plans with people who are not remotely interested in anything I have to say in an important setting. As if showing up to the club in a pretty dress and getting hammered in front of these people would make them appreciate my contribution more when the workweek starts again on Monday. At least God has given me the brief relief that they appear more engrossed with whatever nonsense the other has to say, rather than remembering I tagged along and sit just a few feet away.

            I down the rest of my drink and get up from my seat to approach the bar. I’m sure another one would make this night a little easier for me to stomach. Just one more. The bartender notices me and his mouth moves, as if asking me a question. The noise makes it impossible for me to make out what his words are, but I nod in hopes that he is asking to make me another drink.

heyyy hows it going so far?

            My phone lights up with a message from one of my dearest girls, I mean friends, I mean she is a friend who is a girl… nothing inaccurate about that. On the speakers, the song ended and a familiar tune starts up loud as ever: It feels like a perfect night, to dress up like hipsters… Seriously. It's like the world is taunting me.

            they're playing ur song at this club

            My fourth drink in front of me appeared as if it was out of thin air. The retreating bartender appears like a vanishing magician from this angle. His latest act: fueling my future hangover. My stomach buzzes with butterflies and alcohol as I stare at her contact name on my phone: Catilin Elizabeth.

She had asked me to hang out with her earlier in the week, only it was after I had already made plans with these coworkers. I felt obligated to stick to my original commitment, despite heavily disliking my coworkers and greatly liking…

what song?

            I always felt I was too obvious around her. The media has recognized me as a friend who is constantly around Caitlin, the ordinary girl who attends every home game, and often attends away games. To her, the gleam in my eye registers as nothing more than the look of one of her oldest friends. To the observant fans on the internet, they recognize the almost life-long longing that I have yet to admit to myself. It started when we both bonded over our shared love for Taylor Swift as young girls. Over a decade, I sent her links and lyrics of my favorite songs that reminded me of her. My excuse: she likes these songs, too.

            wise men once said wild winds r death to teh candle

            a rose by any otherrrr name is a scandal

            My fingers poured out the words from the latest song that has been on my mind. It feels impossible to admit the way I feel, not to her, not to myself. Caitlin goes through enough scrutiny in the media. If I said what was in my heart out loud, it could end really, really, really badly. Earth-shatteringly horrible. If we had a falling out and the world found out one of her life-long friends stopped showing up to her games, they would run with the worst assumptions to paint her in an evil light, like they always have.

theres no way theyre playing that one in the club rn 🤣

            I started giggling into my cup at the sight of her message, like a crazy woman standing on the corner of a street. The alcohol causes my vision to darken in this already-dim establishment. Electricity runs up and down my stomach and I cannot tell if it is from the martinis or from her.

            shes the albatrossssss 🦅she is here to destroy you

okay, do u want me to pick u up now?

            I looked back at my coworkers, who disappeared into non-existence. Are they seriously bar hopping, without even asking me if I wanted to tag along? If I had a ride? If I felt okay being left alone here?

            they lef tme alone here:(

fucking morons

i'm on my way

            Neither of us can admit the feelings in our hearts to ourselves, let alone to each other. But I cherish the quiet understanding intertwined in her knee-jerk reaction to drop everything and come save me.

thank u my pretty lady

[thewritetofreespeech]

I made a mistake in my request so please delete it! Can I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin reacting to his gn crush telling him that they're not worthy to be with him please?

Astarion

“Worthy? Pft. When is anyone worthy of anything darling? Who decides who is worthy? We simply have to reach out and take it! And I’ve already grown quite fond of you.”

In truth, bile rises in Astarion’s throat when you say those words. He knows what it means to feel unworthy. To feel unworthy to live. To breathe. To exist. For you, the only person he’s ever cared for & truly cared for him in return, to feel this way makes him sick. Unfortunately he’s the worst person to fix this problem. He’s never felt ‘worthy’ of anything in his whole life.

Wyll

“There is no possible version of a story where you are not worthy. To or for me. You have seen me at my lowest. My most humbled. A time when it would have been easy to turn your back on me, yet you stayed. If that does not make you worthy, then there is no one worthy.”

In truth, Wyll’s dejected that you feel this way. To fail someone else so important to him. To lose your trust and respect. He has always tried to be the most upstanding version of himself & to do right, but if he can make even the person he loves feel unworthy, he is not fit to call himself the Blade; or a man.

Gale

“How could you think such a thing? If anyone is ‘unworthy’ in our relationship, it’s me. I ask so much of you, yet give so little by compare. Your courage. Your compassion. Your love for me has made you more worthy than anyone else I have ever known. I aspire to be half the man you damine me to be.”

In truth, Gale feels heart broken that you feel this way. How was it that he was failing another lover again? Clearly by his own selfishness once more. He resolves to make you feel as worthy as possible for the remainder of your time together; however long or short that may be. This wrong must obviously be rectified.

Halsin

“Don't sell yourself short. I have tried all my life to be worthy. Worthy of the title of Arch Druid. Worthy of Oak Father's blessing enough to end the Shadow Curse. But I always found myself wanting. When I am with you though, I find myself finally worthy of some of the praise in my life. You bring more worth to my life than words can imagine. It is no small thing."

In truth, Halsin knows what it is like to feel this way, as mentioned above, and he cannot stand the thought that he made you, even for a moment, feel this way. He has always gone with the way nature intended, but perhaps he could try to be a little more nurturing to his relationship with you. He won’t have you feel this way ever again.

[kibbles-bits]

any voxval fics you’d recommend?

Ah, yes, voxval fics... The one ship that finally made me cave and read explicit stuff. I am now numb to everything.

Everything.

I'll only be posting completed fics. Warnings, almost all of these are explicit. A couple also have Angel, you know, suffering.

And please mind the tags.

First off is a couple of favs that I always go back for a reread:

Corrupted Love by DoveFactory (Words: 149,495)

In a moment of blind desperation to one-up Alastor, Vox puts himself in a compromising situation that leaves him worse for wear. His state triggers something in Valentino who decides to change the nature of their relationship.

The title and summary of this is so misleading I thought it was going to be a dark fic but nope. The Vees are a bunch of goobers and Valentino always wins. I would scream about this every time it updated. I love the characterizations and their banter it almost made me forget there's sex in like every chapter. Honestly I wish there was more tags referencing the character/story stuff.

Virtual Reality by passthevoxcord (Words: 7,634)

Vox gets tired of his cybernetic biology being a barrier to his sex life, so he starts a new project to fuck Valentino in VR. Val will try anything once, but he has something else in mind.

This one ends up being so sweet I want to die. passthevoxcord's other fic, Only a Shadow, drives me nuts but its a WIP and hasn't actually gotten to the voxval yet.

choke behind a smile by gloriousmonsters (Words: 19,881)

"I'm not scared by extreme, although I doubt I'll find it interesting. What is it?" Valentino's eyes narrow slyly over his smile. "If you aren't scared, why do you need a warning?" Vox has everything under control in his new business partnership with benefits. His emotions, his unfortunate desires, the little mind games they play. Even Valentino himself. When Val offers an invitation to a special show he's performing, Vox knows it's a dare, and knows he has to take it, show Val that he can't be scared or destabilized. He has no idea of how deep under his skin the show will get.

Everyone's so normal. I love this Valentino. There's another Valvel fic that has the same Valentino I also recommend called bad girls go backstage.

Great Expectations by MarenRose (Words: 11,280)

“It’s his goal. Those three simple words. If he could get to hear them once, could let the reality of their meaning and spoken existence occupy his mind for only a few indiscernible moments, then maybe, Vox could learn to see the appeal of this god forsaken holiday. He might even learn to ‘love’ it too.” Or: Vox hates Valentine’s Days. His prick of a ‘wife’ is just too damn hard to please.

This miiiight have been the fic that made me Lock In on voxval? I'm not sure. It's sweet. Alastor is hilarious.

biting keeps your words at bay by Subedarling (Words: 1,511)

“You can’t hit me,” Valentino says. He’s practically vibrating with rage. “You’re not allowed to—you can’t hit me!” Vox sneers, cruel and mocking and hopefully masking the way his heart is breaking apart inside his chest. “Baby, I can do whatever the hell I want.” A decade into their partnership, Vox and Valentino have their first and last physical fight.

This might be the only non-explicit fic in this list. I am all for Val being the worst just because he's Like That. But I will not say no to an implied tragic backstory. I read this one a lot and want to die. Can I draw this. I want to draw this. Oh my god I have free time I can totally draw this...

And my other recs:

Just For The Record by PeppermintWalrus (Words: 13,795)

Vox is thrilled about his new film enterprise with his business partner, ready to build a lucrative empire for the denizens of hell to experience true cinema, in the only genre their depraved minds desire. There’s just one problem that he finds out too late; Valentino has never filmed porn before. Vox decides that some... hands-on teaching, is necessary to save their production.

Yeah you read that right.

a putrid feeling that i've addressed by spoondrifts (Words: 5,162)

They weren’t a couple because Valentino was pathologically noncommittal and Vox simply knew better. He tried the whole romance thing with a certain radio demon a few decades back, and he’d learned his damn lesson. Hell just wasn’t the place for that sort of cutesy bullshit. Also, he was pretty sure that Valentino was straight up incapable of love, which was both par for the course for Vox’s friendships and amazingly convenient—things couldn’t get complicated if there was nothing to complicate in the first place. Or: Full Moon, Vox/Val edition.

Haha I love pain. I lied, this is the second non-explicit fic.

Little Miss Hellion by DoveFactory (Words: 10,657)

Hell’s worst married couple spends a day of family bonding at a beauty pageant doing whatever it takes to make sure their daughter takes home the crown, because failure is never an option for the Vees. Pilot AU where Vox and Valentino are married and Velvette is their adopted daughter.

It's more Vees than voxval but they're married so.

The Art of Pimping by MarenRose (Words: 9,161)

Desperate to close a deal with one of the most lucrative investors in Pride, Vox does the unthinkable and pimps out Valentino for a one-time date. What could go wrong?

Val's attitude in this one is funny and Vox. Yeah. Vox made a mistake.

You Found Me by passthevoxcord (Words: 4,338)

Long before Velvette came along, it was just them. Vox and Valentino. Valentino and Vox.

Sobbing.

Something Less Than Dishonest by daphnerunning, Galiko (Words: 33,931)

He isn’t expecting the way Valentino walks, for some reason. Maybe it’s the extra limbs. Maybe it’s the wings. Maybe it’s the heels. Vox had skipped briefly through a few of the slut’s movies, for research, and isn’t expecting the way Valentino moves in person to feel so… Different. “…You must be my four o’clock,” he says, standing and offering a hand. Oh, shit, he’s huge. Valentino towers over him, easily would without the stripper heels. Vox is not afraid of heights.

Vox is so offensive in this it loops back around to hilarious.

Red Skies and Valentino by alternatedoom (Words: 86,050)

"Vox and I are special friends, doll. Go give him a kiss," Val says to the boy.

Angel does not have a good time. But the Voxval is nice.

before you go by xoTsundoku (Words: 4,426)

Before Alastor came into their lives, Vox and Valentino were happy. Maybe they still can be.

A Farewell to Ghosts by Accidental_Ducky (Words: 37,149)

"What do you think that is," Vox demands, pointing at the new guy. Valentino turns, eyes raking greedily over the man's body. He's gorgeous, skinny in a heroin chic way with big blue eyes and blond hair that falls just so across his eyes. "Hot." "Don't fucking call the ghost hot!"

The only human AU I've liked so far. Love the character interactions. Vox and Val are hilarious.

God I hope I didn't miss any. There's definitely some good WIP ones out there.

[hungermakesmonsters]

Devotion & Desire

Chapter Four

Plot summary : When you, a lone omega, move in across the hall from alpha Bucky Barnes, he knows that his life is about to get a lot more complicated, but he has no idea just how much you’re going to turn his life upside down. You’re both devoted to fixing your past mistakes, but will desire for something more get the better of you?

Pairing : Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader

Story Rating : R 

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Explicit smut and omega heat stuff. All chapters will contain the usual omegaverse and A/B/O tropes, and explicit smut. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 6.2k

A/N : 😅 still trying to walk the fine line between plot and smut

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE

MASTER LIST

Chapter Four

It felt like a fever dream, like some terrible nightmare that started to fade from memory the moment your eyes opened. Only, it wasn’t. It had happened.

Bucky had -

No.

No. 

You didn’t even want to think about it. Regardless of how much it had helped, and how much you might have needed it at the time, you felt nothing but regret. Closing your eyes, you were assaulted by vivid memories of the way he’d touched you, the way you’d moaned for him, and perhaps worst of all, the way you’d kissed him.

Hours later, his scent still lingered in the room, mixed with yours, making you feel dizzy, giddy.

Somehow, you managed to pull yourself from the crude little nest you’d throw together with little more than sheets, sofa cushions and a couple of towels.

Everything ached and just the exertion of standing up and pulling on your leggings had your skin coated in a layer of sweat. You felt awful. And, as you took a step away from the bed, you felt like you were going to fall down. But you couldn’t stop. You needed to find Bucky. You needed him to know that it had been a mistake.

Staggering, you made your way to the door, weakly pulling it open and almost falling through it. But then another scent assaulted your senses; another alpha, someone you didn’t recognise.

He looked up at you, an easy smile pulling on his lips and, for a second, there was a faint hint of recognition. You thought you recognised him. But you couldn’t place how or where from. Your mind was a haze, the fog of your heat making it difficult for you to think straight.

“Hey, I’m Sam,” he said, clearly noticing your confusion. “I’m a friend of Bucky’s.”

“Where is he?” You asked, gripping the doorframe for support.

“He needed to go out, didn’t tell me where. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but he’s not exactly an open book,” Sam answered, letting out a warm sort of laugh that told you he and Bucky were close. “He asked me to keep an eye on you, in case you needed anything.”

Your eyes widened, thoughts heading in an unsettling direction. He’d asked another alpha to take care of you?

“Not like that,” Sam quickly clarified, holding up his hands, wanting to make sure there was no confusion. “I brought you some things.”

He gave a nod of his head towards two bags on the floor, a backpack, and a shopping bag filled with womens clothes.

“There’s some of my sister's clothes in there, she’s a beta and a bit bigger than you, but they should be alright,” he explained and you offered a muttered thank you.

You decided to keep your distance, clinging to the door frame while your legs trembled beneath you. Your eyes dropped for a moment, struggling with a strange mixture of feelings welling up inside you.

You felt abandoned by Bucky, even though you didn’t want him around in the first place. And you longed for him, despite hating him. Shaking your head, you tried to clear your mind and stop all the racing thoughts and unsettling feelings. It was just your heat making you feel things that you knew weren’t real, your biology trying to make you into a good omega for an alpha you had the misfortune of craving.

Looking at Sam again, you realised he was watching you, and recognition finally sparked within you.

“Wait... you’re the Falcon... or is it Captain America now?” The confusion was clear in your voice, only sounding half convinced that he was who you believed him to be.

“Just Sam is fine,” he replied with that easy smile.

You weren’t sure what it was about him, but he felt safe, like he was the sort of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve, unlike Bucky who was gruff and guarded. How the two of them could be friends, you couldn’t even begin to understand. So, you asked.

“Why is Captain America helping the Winter Soldier?” 

“Because Bucky isn’t the Winter Soldier anymore,” Sam answered. Clearly the look on your face gave away that you didn’t believe him so, a moment later, Sam continued; “he told me what happened to you - to your brother - but you have to understand that while it might have been him, it wasn’t Bucky.”

“You think just because he was under mind control that he’s any less to blame?” You answered back, unintentionally allowing some of your anger to slip into your tone.

“Do you maybe want to take a second to think about what you just said?” Sam asked, his voice still calm and friendly. Your gaze dropped, hating that some part of you knew he was right to call you out. “I know it doesn’t change how you feel and it won’t bring your brother back, but if you think for a moment that it doesn’t hurt him almost as much as it hurts you, then -”

The sound of the door had him falling quiet. For whatever reason, he didn’t want Bucky to know that he’d just been defending him to you.

Stepping into the apartment, Bucky looked at Sam before noticing you standing in the doorway to the bedroom.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “Should you be up?”

“We were just getting to know each other,” Sam decided to answer before you got the chance.

Bucky grimaced. “What did you tell her?”

For a moment he looked at you, seeming so genuinely concerned that his friend might have told you something terrible, and you wondered if that was just how their friendship was or if Bucky was so unsure of himself that all he could do was jump to the worst conclusion.

“He didn’t say anything I don’t already know,” you answered.

It earned a surprised look from Sam, and it was as close as you’d ever get to actually agreeing with what he’d told you. But agreement and acceptance were two different things, and you still hated the Winter Soldier and, by extension, Bucky.

“Where have you been?” You dared to ask Bucky, realising that he was carrying a familiar looking box in his hands.

“I was in the neighbourhood, so I stopped at Gracie’s for a pie,” Bucky said, finally stepping further into the apartment.

“You’ve got ex-Hydra agents looking for you and you stopped for a pie?” Sam asked, like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.

“It’s - it’s really good pie,” you said, your grip tightening on the doorframe, as a wave of cramping hit.

“Did you ask her about Rumlow yet?” Sam asked, seemingly from nowhere. 

Your legs almost gave in beneath you at the sound of his name. Pressing yourself against the doorframe was the only thing that stopped you from falling. 

Bucky was in front of you in an instant, before Sam was even half out of his seat. He reached for you to steady you, but you did everything you could to pull away and remain standing under your own steam. 

“How do you know about Rumlow?” You asked, eyes moving between the two alphas.

“The guys that tried to take you, they used to work with him. We thought Rumlow died in Lagos years ago, but -” Sam explained, stopping when you shook your head.

“No... he’s alive,” you said.

“How does Rumlow fit into any of this?” Sam asked. “How do you know him?”

Your eyes drifted to Bucky, an uncomfortable feeling twisting your guts.

“He promised to help me track down and kill the Winter Soldier but he - he lied to me,” you explained without explaining, not wanting to say anything more than that.

“Why would he be after you now?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t -” a sudden surge of pain cut you off and almost had you doubling over.

Before you could even think to try and stop him, Bucky had hold of you, sweeping you off your feet with ease and carrying you back to bed. Moments later, he was gently placing you back down in your nest.

“You need to rest,” he told you softly, his fingers tenderly brushing your hair away from your face.

You struggled to keep your eyes open and Bucky took that as a sign to leave you. But, when he started to turn, you reached for him, weakly grasping his sleeve.

“We need to talk,” you told him, and watched as he glanced to the door making sure Sam wasn’t listening in. When you were both satisfied that you wouldn’t be overheard, you spoke. “Don’t go getting any ideas about last night. It - it shouldn’t’ve happened, it was just -”

“I get it,” he cut in. “I’m an alpha, you’re an omega. It’s just biology. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Good ‘cause it can't happen again,” you said, barely able to even look him in the eye as you spoke.

His jaw clenched and, for a moment it almost seemed like he was angry - or maybe he was disappointed. It was hard to tell. Either way, it seemed like your words had more of an effect than you’d anticipated.

“Fair enough,” he said, his tone quickly becoming more distant, somehow colder. “I was just trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

It was a stupid thing to say because you both knew it was entirely untrue but, at that exact moment, you believed your own bullshit.

“Clearly,” he remarked sarcastically, “you seem to be doing great on your own.”

When you didn’t seem to have a witty response for him, Bucky pulled away from you, breaking your hold on him, and you watched as he left the room, pulling the door shut behind him. All you could do for a few minutes was stare at the door, wondering if you’d somehow managed to hurt his feelings. “She seems -”

“She’s a pain in the ass,” Bucky finished the thought for Sam, stalking away from the closed door. Sam just watched Bucky for a moment as he grabbed the box with the pie and headed towards the kitchen. He waited a beat before following after, watching Bucky as he removed the pie from the box and cut himself a large slice without offering any to Sam.

“Okay, this is passive aggressive even for you,” Sam remarked, nodding at the pie, indicating he wanted a slice.

Bucky huffed before cutting his friend a slice significantly smaller than his own and stalking back into the den, taking a seat on the sofa to eat.

“Listen, if this is getting to you, I can watch her and you can go do... whatever it is you do when you go off on your own,” Sam offered cautiously as he took a seat.

Sam was too busy breaking off his first bite of pie with his fork to notice the way Bucky was glaring at him but, the moment he looked up, he had his answer.

“Okay,” Sam said, deciding it wasn’t worth starting an argument over, so he changed the subject. “Torres got back to me, he says he still hasn’t found any trace of her or who he really is, but he found out about Berlin...”

The statement was allowed to hang in the air between them, not speaking until Bucky gave some indication that he wanted to hear it and, even when he received that slight nod, Sam hesitated for a moment more.

He pulled out his phone and opened the file that Torres had sent him.

“It was in February, 2009. There was a tech conference in Berlin - but not for your run-of-the-mill iPhones and games consoles. It was all military grade tech,” Sam explained, watching Bucky for any negative reactions or flickers of recollection. “We’re talking big like Stark Tech, Hammer Industries, A.I.M. -”

“I get the picture,” Bucky interrupted.

“Well, there were rumours about some new satellite tech, something that would have allowed whoever had control of it to spy on anyone, to break into any system, to watch anyone they wanted. It was years ahead of its time. From what we can tell it was the sort of thing that a group like Hydra wouldn’t want falling into the wrong hands.”

“So they sent me,” Bucky sighed. “What else did you find out?”

Again, Sam hesitated for a few seconds.

“The crime scene report from the hotel; it says her brother checked in under a false name, assumed to be travelling alone, and the crime scene photos... they show that he put up a fight...” Instead of explaining it, Sam handed his phone to Bucky, watching as he took in the crime scene photos and the evidence list before going very quiet and very still. He let a minute pass in silent contemplation before he spoke again.

“He was hiding something,” he sighed, his eyes closing for a moment and his head hanging forward, the memories flooding back to him. “I was sent to get everything he had. I got the drive with the schematics but I - I thought he was holding something back. And he was. He was protecting his sister while she hid. I tortured him and he refused to give her up...”

Putting Sam’s phone down, he stood, his slice of pie forgotten and abandoned. 

Sam didn’t say anything as Bucky walked towards the window, putting his back to his friend, not wanting Sam to see the pain and self-loathing on his face. But Sam wasn’t prepared to let him wallow.

“So, what now?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean ‘what now’?” 

“What comes next, Buck? You know why she tried to kill you, now how are you going to make amends?”

“Don’t start with the therapy-talk, Sam. I’m not in the mood,” Bucky snapped.

“Well you better get in the mood, because there’s a person in that room who needs your help, and if you’re not willing to look after her -” 

“I never said that.” Bucky turned back to face Sam, conviction clear in his voice. “Of course I’ll look after her.

------------

You lost track of time the moment you were placed back in bed. You thought that you could hear their voices through the door but maybe it was just delirium from the fever playing tricks on you. Everything hurt. Your muscles ached and your joints felt stiff, and your temperature continued to climb.

Turning this way and that, you tried to get comfortable, tried to find just the right angle to lay at to make the pain stop. 

It wasn’t long before there was something else beneath the pain, that desperate longing that you couldn’t control, that need that had your hand pawing at your thighs, desperate to touch yourself but knowing that, once you started, you wouldn’t be able to stop.

The more you denied yourself, the more it hurt, until it felt like your insides were burning.

You reached for the water bottle on the nightstand, only to clumsily knock it onto the floor and, when you leaned down to try and retrieve it, your vision started to swim. 

The next thing you knew, you were on the floor. There was no telling if it was the sound of the bottle falling or your knees hitting the floor that alerted Bucky, but he was at your side in seconds, swearing and placing his hand on your forehead to feel how hot your fever was running.

“You should’ve told me it had gotten this bad,” he muttered as he scooped you off the floor and started to carry you through the apartment.

“Where are you taking me?” You asked, the words feeling heavy on your tongue.

Bucky didn’t answer, but it soon became clear. 

He took you into the bathroom, carrying you into the shower and quickly started up the cold water.

A relieved gasp left your lips at the feel of the cold water on your skin, soaking into your sweat-drenched clothes. Your head dropped onto his shoulder, letting him hold you under the water for what felt like hours. You tried to mutter something, an awkward thank you, but the words came out as little more than incomprehensible babble. Bucky simply shushed you, his arms holding you a little tighter.

It didn’t even cross your mind that you were both still dressed or that the cold must have been uncomfortable for Bucky. It finally felt like you could breathe again, like you weren’t being smothered by the fever. Your eyes closed and you relaxed in his arms, coming to the uncomfortable realisation that moments like this were why omegas needed alphas.

You shifted, moving your head, barely even noticing that you were doing it until your nose was pressed to his gland and every breath you took was him.

Somehow you managed to fall asleep in his arms, and you had no idea how long he held you under the water before drying you off as best he could and returning you to bed.

But you didn’t sleep for long and, when your eyes opened again, you found him sitting on the floor beside your bed, glancing over his shoulder at you as you reached for the fresh, cold bottle of water he’d left on the nightstand for you.

“I remember,” he told you cryptically, looking forward again, facing away from you.

“What?”

“Your brother. That night in Berlin… everything I did...”

There was something in his voice, in the slump of his shoulders, that had you remembering Sam’s words to you, and it made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry,” he added a moment later. “I understand why you hate me so much now.”

It sounded genuine, it sounded like he really was sorry, like the memory of what he’d done was causing him as much pain as it did you. And you didn’t want to hear it. You weren’t prepared for any of this; after years of seeing him as a monster, having your brother’s brutal murder as your only frame of reference, you found that this contrite, apologetic Bucky didn’t fit the role of the man you wanted to blame.

And it left you annoyed. It left you feeling like all the time you’d spent, the years of your life you’d wasted and the terrible things you’d endured to get to him, to make him suffer, had all been for nothing.

How could you hurt this man who seemed so pained by his own existence?

An awkward, uncomfortable sound escaped you as you laid back, your frustration bubbling over and leaving you at a total loss.

Bucky had no idea what was going through your head, he could only assume that you were still in pain.

“It’s going to get worse, isn’t it?” He asked with a noticeable hesitation. “It gets worse after the halfway point, right?”

“Have you been Googling heats?” At any other time you would have taken a mocking tone, but you were too exhausted and overwhelmed to even think about it.

With Bucky so close, you found it harder to control your baser desires, the omega part of you that craved an alpha, that craved him. But Bucky didn’t even seem to notice.

“Yeah, I -” he let out an awkward sigh, “- I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before and I know last night wasn’t... I mean, I know you didn’t...”

Not wanting to watch him struggle, you decided to put him out of his misery and move the conversation along, if only because talking was better than thinking and you needed something to keep your mind from straying too far.

“You’ve never had an omega before?” You asked.

“Not... not like this,” he said but didn’t go into any detail about what that meant. “In the decades that I was with Hydra, they mostly kept me on ice, and I didn’t exactly get to meet anyone.”

Silence fell and he moved, lifting himself onto his knees and turning to face you. Before you could ask what he was doing, you saw him reaching for the bowl of water and the washcloth. He gently pressed it to your burning cheeks and, for a few minutes he seemed content to remain silent, but it didn’t last.

“It’s because of the suppressants, isn’t it? That’s why it’s so bad,” he asked, and you confirmed his suspicions with little more than a glance. “Why did you take them for so long?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“Because being an omega fucking sucks,” you said with a sigh. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to feel weak and helpless all the time? To have people look at you like you only exist for a single purpose?”

He took an awkward breath, then answered. “More than you know.”

For a moment you considered his words, considered the implications. He’d been a killer, Hydra’s attack dog, only ever let off-leash when he was needed to kill someone. It had been his life, his purpose. The sense of understanding you felt was uncomfortable, further confusing how you felt about him. And you hated it. You didn’t want to feel sorry for him, you didn’t want to feel anything at all. 

“At least you’re an alpha,” you said grimly, “you get to fuck instead of being fucked.”

“It still doesn't explain the suppressants.”

“I started taking them because I didn’t want to get stuck being some alpha’s omega again...”

“Wait...” it took a second but he finally seemed to start putting it together. “You and Rumlow?”

You gave only the slightest of nods. Bucky didn’t say anything, but his silence made it obvious that he wanted you to explain.

“I was trying to track you down the Winter Soldier. I didn’t realise he was Hydra when I tried  to buy information from him.” You couldn’t look at Bucky as you spoke, as the anger started to slip into your voice. “He promised he would help me, he took me in and - I was young and stupid, and by the time I realised I was trapped, it was too late. He wanted to claim me, but I rejected him, so he did the next best thing and kept me...”

From the corner of your eye, you caught sight of his vibranium hand curling into a tight fist.

“He disappeared in the blip and I got away. Since then I’ve done everything I can to present as a beta.”

“Why is he after you now?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know. I guess when you were looking into me, it must have flagged something somewhere, and he came looking,” you answered, feeling your stomach knot at the thought. “Brock, he - he doesn’t like to lose and he doesn’t like to be told no. He thinks I’m his...”

“Well, he’s not getting you back,” Bucky stated with an angry certainty that you didn’t understand.

You looked at him, not sure you wanted to ask and, by the time you’d decided that you probably should, it was too late. He got to his feet and headed for the door, telling you to shout if you needed anything.

For a time you just lay there, staring up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of everything that had happened, everything that was still happening.

You had wanted Bucky to suffer for killing your brother, but you wanted to be the cause of that suffering, not his own remorse over his actions. And, again, you found yourself thinking back to your conversation with Sam, the way you’d had to concede that it hadn’t even been Bucky who killed your brother.

Round and round, there was no escaping all the thoughts and questions in your head, all the things that made you angry and the things you couldn’t control.

And, soon enough, it became hard to think about anything but the torture your own body was putting you through. Your temperature started to rise again and you squirmed awkwardly, pressing your thighs together, slick starting to soak through your underwear.

Then you remembered the bags by the bedroom door, the clean clothes Sam had brought for you.

On shaky legs you made your way out of the bedroom, expecting to find Bucky on the sofa but, instead, you could hear the shower running again - why was he showering again? The thought quickly left your mind as you started rummaging through the bags. One bag was filled with womens clothes and the other -

Fuck.

The backpack was basically a bio-weapon, filled with Bucky’s clothes, shirts and sweatpants that hadn’t been laundered. And, before you knew what you were doing, you’d taken one of his shirts and were heading back to your nest with it, not thinking to close the bedroom door behind you, suddenly consumed by your baser urges.

Falling onto the bed, you pressed his shirt to your nose and inhaled his scent.

You hated yourself for how much you craved him, how much you wanted to be wrapped up in his scent, in him. You twitched and squirmed, that awful, longing ache burning through you again. It wasn’t long before your hand was reaching between your thighs and soft whines started to escape you.

At some point the shower stopped, and your eyes opened to find Bucky in the doorway, wearing nothing but a towel slung low around his waist, his eyes fixed on you. Just the sight of his exposed chest and abs, still damp from the shower, was enough to cause a dramatic spike in your arousal.

Despite your embarrassment, your hand kept moving, fingers strumming your clit through your slick-soaked panties while you held his shirt to your nose. And Bucky watched.

“Bucky...”

That moan was all the invitation he needed to cross the room. Even as he came to stand over you, your fingers didn’t stop, in fact they got faster, desperate. More little whimpers and moans escaped you, but he didn’t touch you, didn’t attempt to give you what you needed, what you craved. He just watched and his gaze alone was all it took to break your resolve.

“Please?” You finally begged.

“You sure you want my help again, little mouse?”

You nodded. Despite everything you’d told him after the last time, you nodded. Desperately. Enthusiastically. 

Bucky didn’t need any more than that, climbing onto the bed and kneeling between your legs. His hands felt cold as they slipped up your thighs to pull away your wet panties. (Somewhere in the back of your mind you realised he’d been having a cold shower, but in your needy, muddled state, you couldn’t understand why.)

Without hesitation or ceremony, a cold metal finger ran through your folds before sinking inside you, moving slowly, as if he thought you needed warming up.

Your head dropped back on the pillow and your hips started to move against his hand, desperate for more. You were so caught up in the feeling, in the need for more, for everything, that you didn’t realise he’d lowered his head until you felt his heavy breath against your inner thigh and you felt the slow drag of his tongue over your thigh gland.

A desperate moan tore from your lips, your eyes opened and you looked down to see him between your legs. The sight alone was enough to cause you to clench around his finger and leave you on the precipice of orgasm. 

Without thinking, your hand reached for him, tangling in his hair. His eyes stayed fixed on yours as his tongue ran along your gland again, this time licking higher, groaning against your skin, letting out sounds that made it seem like he was the one in need instead of you.

You jolted, back arching the moment his tongue found your clit. His free hand pressed on your stomach, pinning you down while his vibranium hand continued to slowly fuck you with a deliberately teasing pace. His tongue moved just as slowly, causing you to whimper and keen, your fingers tightening in his hair, trying to pull him closer.

The pressure built up in you slowly and the sounds you were making got more desperate and eager. 

You just about screamed when he started to suck your clit and bent his finger inside you, finding that sensitive spot, causing you to come almost instantly. As you trembled and shuddered, your hand reached for his hand on your stomach and pulled it upwards, pushing up your baggy tee-shirt and placing it on your breast. Your other hand remained in his hair, holding tight, ensuring that his head stayed between your thighs.

He stilled for a few moments, letting you ride out one orgasm before starting to lead you towards the next. A second cold, metal finger slid inside you with ease, your back arching a little, your own fingers twisting in his hair and tugging harder.

You’d told him never again, but after the second orgasm pulled from you by his fingers and his tongue, some part of you knew you wouldn’t survive if you never got to experience this bliss again.

After the third orgasm, he finally lifted his head and slowly started to move up your body, and you let him. No, you encouraged him, tugging on his hair until his face was only inches from yours. You both hesitated as he looked down at you, his fingers still fucking you at that delicious pace.

“It’s just biology,” he muttered softly, as if he was giving both of you permission to give in to each other.

Finally, you lifted your head, your lips clumsily crashing into his and igniting a desperate kiss that seemed to go on and on, until a final fourth orgasm was pulled from you. Even then, as his fingers stilled and finally slipped from your trembling body, his lips lingered against yours, and your fingers remained tangled in his hair

When your body slumped back, exhausted, Bucky remained above you for a few moments more before finally withdrawing, getting up and leaving the room, and leaving you more confused than ever. But at least some of the pain had subsided. He wasn’t gone for long.

After a few minutes he returned fully dressed and with two plates, each with a slice of pie. 

He placed one on the bed beside you before sitting back down on the floor next to your bed. Despite what you’d just done, now that it was over, he seemed to want to maintain a polite distance.

“Gracie’s apple pie?” You muttered, tired but definitely hungry enough to eat. 

Bucky gave a hum of acknowledgement. “She said it was your favourite.”

You fell silent, staring at the pie, thinking about the life you could have had; the murder plot aside, you’d liked working at Gracie’s and you liked the friends you’d made. But it was all gone now. You couldn’t go back and tell them you’d been lying to them about who you were just to get close to Bucky.

You were going to be alone again.

And that thought hurt.

“At least I get to have it one last time,” you muttered as you sat back against the headboard and started to eat.

“Last time?” He repeated, confused.

“It’s not like I can go back after... y’know all the lies and everything,” you said.

“I think they’d be a lot more understanding than you think,” he offered through a mouthful of pie.

“Right, I’ll just come out and tell them that the sweet little omega act was all a lie, and I was only being nice to them so I could get close enough to kill you,” you retorted.

Honestly, you might have laughed if it hadn’t made you feel so pathetic and alone.

“Sometimes people are willing to forgive a lot if you apologise,” Bucky shrugged.

You weren’t sure if he was suggesting that you should forgive him or trying to let you know that he’d already forgiven you. You didn’t ask. Both of you fell silent while you ate. And, not long after finishing, you managed to fall asleep again.

------------

The sound of muttering woke you up. You quickly realised that it was Bucky. He was laid  on the floor in his boxers with nothing but a pillow for comfort, thrashing and grumbling in his sleep, obviously having a nightmare. He must have decided to sleep on the floor to be close in case you needed him in the night and - fuck, you didn’t even want to think about how that made you feel.

All you knew for certain - all you were willing to admit - was that you hated seeing him like that. As someone who knew what it was like to be plagued by nightmares, you wouldn’t have wished it on your worst enemy. 

You half-fell out of bed, landing on your hands and knees, before slumping down beside him. Moving closer, you pressed yourself into his side and draped your arm over his body, your face against his neck, nose inches from his gland. 

He quickly stilled and you heard a sharp inhale as he woke up.

“What -” he started, sounding exhausted and confused.

“Shut up,” you half-demanded, half-begged, not wanting to explain it to him.

He didn’t say anything else. A moment later, his arm was around you, pulling you closer. Instinctively, your leg moved over his thigh, tangling your bodies together. His hand pressed against your cheek for a moment before brushing your hair away from your face.

“You’re burning up,” Bucky muttered, “do you need -”

“No, just - just don’t move,” you whined, wanting to hold him, wanting to feel safe in his arms even though you knew it was the most dangerous place for you. “Just... please don’t move.”

“Okay, mouse...” he muttered softly, shifting just a fraction so you could share his pillow.

Slowly but surely, you felt him relax and, as he did, you did too, shifting closer so his thigh was pressed between yours. Right then, you didn’t need or want more than that, you were content just feeling his body against yours.

But, like every other still moment that you’d managed to find during your heat so far, it didn’t last.

After a few hours you woke to that awful, cramping sensation in your stomach. He was still sleeping, still holding you so tight, and you didn’t want to wake him but his thigh between yours became impossible to ignore. You started to move slowly, grinding yourself against him, slick quickly soaking your panties and his thigh. At first you tried to be gentle, but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t what you needed.

Bucky woke to find you desperately grinding against his thigh like a feral, horny animal. If you hadn’t felt so desperate, you would have felt your cheeks burning with shame. But you were desperate and you needed something to stop the pain. You needed him.

He didn’t speak, didn’t ask what you were doing, he just pressed his thigh against you and turned his head toward yours. As your head fell back, his lips pressed to your throat, kissing, licking and sucking their way towards your gland, and causing you to let out a desperate moan.

You pressed closer still, until the only way you could get close enough was to straddle his lap. You weren’t shocked to find that he was hard - it barely even crossed your mind, too deep in your own desperate needs to think straight anymore. His hips lifted, pressing against you as you both started to move, each of you seeking something from the other as you slick quickly soaked through your panties and began to wet his boxers.

Leaning back, you pulled off your top and led his vibranium hand to your breast, moaning as a cold metal thumb brushed against your nipple. You kept him trapped beneath you, your hands on his chest, holding him down, as if you really thought that you could restrain him. But Bucky let you, he stayed exactly where you wanted him, letting you take what you needed from him.

Your moans got wilder and more desperate, his name slipping from your lips over and over again as you neared orgasm. His flesh hand gripped your hip as he continued to grind up against you, letting out little grunt and groans of his own as he stared up at you through the gloom.

As you came you felt his cock twitch between your thighs and heard his own gasped moan, and you realised that he’d come too.

You collapsed on top of him, your body trembling from your release, slick now coating your thighs and his, and something else, something soaking through Bucky’s boxers. Sprawled against his chest, you buried your face against his neck, breathing in his scent, and clinging to him, not willing to let go. Bucky’s arms wrapped tight around you, holding you as you shook and shivered, and finally fell asleep again.

End Note : Anyone who doesn't read my Billy Russo fics, and didn't see me mention it there, I just want to give a heads up that I broke a key off my laptop (the T key for anyone interested) so I'm having to use a laggy bluetooth keyboard to write atm. Sorry if any weird typos have slipped through, it's probably because of the keyboard. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter!!

And thanks so much for the likes/comments/reblogs on the last chapter, it really means a lot to me!

If you'd like to be tagged in future chapters, let me know!

Tag List : @greatenthusiasttidalwave @bighappypiels @maddiedrmr @dreadfulxives18 @scott-loki-barnes

@thecraziestcrayon @silas-aeiou @danzer8705 @notpotatocap

[iwtvfanevents]

St. Louis 2024 —an LDPDL fan event

This October, we are celebrating our titular vampire's 147th birthday with a month-long creative challenge. This is the second edition of this event, and you can see the fan creations shared last year in the tag, here ►

How does this event work?

Louis's birthday is October 4th, so we have four broad prompts, and ten prompt quotes. Prompts have no assigned date, and they are meant to be interpreted freely. 

Prompts

Love / Family 

Memory / Art

Gender / Sexuality

Vampirism / Power

Quotes

"For the first time in my life, I was seen."

"I had powers now, and decades of rage to process…"

"Allow me my odyssey."

"The absence of metaphor is striking."

"Are we the sum of our worst moments?"

"She called me an angel."

"But the suit changes nothing."

"My rage had risen, followed closely behind by my madness."

"I’m companion enough for myself now." 

"I didn't know it was a gift."

Louis's character exists in relation with others —his human family, his vampire family, his love interests, his interviewer, his employees— and your contribution can be about any and all of those relationships, or about Louis alone.

POV isn't a given either: you could write about Louis from another character's perspective but, if it's focused on Louis, then it's still in the spirit of this event.

And, if you end up creating something that doesn't quite respond to any prompt, you're still participating, as long as your creation is about Jacob Anderson's Louis de Pointe du Lac.

Some ways in which you can participate include:

fanfiction,

fanart,

fanmixes,

moodboards,

gifsets,

photomanips,

graphics,

video edits and AMVs,

meta and analysis in written, audio or video form,

poetry,

music,

headcanons,

fanworks and meta recommendations...

...and anything else you can think of!

Please take a look at our participation guidelines, and don't forget to tag your posts with #IWTVfanevents or tag @iwtvfanevents so we can share them on the blog. You can also add them to the collection on AO3: Happy birthday LDPDL!

If you’re on Twitter, we’re over there too!

And, as always, we encourage you to use the #vampterview tag for your posts about the show. Learn more about this fandom tag here ►

[iridescent-solstice]

Fic 1/2 made for the amazing @cinsilly for winning this contest I hosted a while back. I hope you like it and also thank you for participating in my silly little shenanigans. If I did my job right, hopefully you’ll join future events too! 🙆🏻‍♀️

The candle by his side burns faithfully as Julian leans over his cluttered desk. Wispy strands of his ginger hair wave back and forth as he grumbles in frustration. With an aching back and cramped wrists, his sleep deprived mind urges him to take a break.

But he won't. Because there is much to be done. Far too much.

He chides himself internally for not working enough. For not being fast enough. Because, despite the countless hours he’s spent here, there are still too many old journals to comb through. Too many documents he’s scribbled and had to scrap or re-read. He's frustrated. Tired. Hungry and extremely worried for all the people out there in worst conditions than he is. The physical states of those already infected aren't getting much better, and the count's temper is only getting worse. "DAMMIT WHY IS NOTHING WORKING!" He curses slamming his fist down on the poor table. It's like he's walking around in endless circles, isn't he? There has to be a cure! He chants in his head. With a library as huge as this, there must be something here about a plague spreading by beetles.

It’s almost beginning to feel like he’s drowning in pile and piles of unending assigned reading. Even with an apprentice, there’s still so much he has to do. If he doesn’t . . . No. Julian shakes the thoughts away. He doesn’t want to think about those consequences. Finding the cure is too vital a task to slack on. And he won't discover it if he spends all his time wondering about what will happen if he doesn't manage to uncover it. He can do it . . . Well, even if he couldn’t, there are too many people's lives at stake to not try his darn hardest. Too people relying on him. The countess. The citizens of Versuvia. The count. But most importantly . . . his apprentice is counting on him too. So, he has to find a cure. No.matter.what.the.cost.

Books, letters, documents and other knick knacks are sprawled all over the cinnamon-coloured table. But the mess inside his head is even worse than the one infront of him. A looming giant window behind him gives a glimpse into the internal state of the city. Cold, dark, deserted and in complete disarray. The normal hustle and bustle is no longer as usual as it once used to be. You’d be lucky if you saw a single person in sight. Not anymore though. They’re all hiding away inside their homes. He has no doubt that you would be too if you gave yourself the luxury too.

But he’s glad you haven’t taken that liberty. That you care enough to stay by his side. To risk your life. He has no idea how he'd do this without you. Throughout all his travels at sea, he's spent a great deal of his time alone. But he doesn't think he could ever go back to that lifestyle anymore. He needs you. 

He needs you to check up on him. To hold his hand and cheerfully tell him everything will be alright again. To not give up. He nee- No he wants you. Wants you to sit suspiciously close by as he navigates the medical forms. While he relays the important findings he just discovered. As he flips through the records. Patient after patient, case after case. It’s almost too much, but he knows he can handle it. With you by his side, he’s sure he can handle anything. Fatigued eyes search all over the table but his thoughts wander to you again. Like they always do when he’s stressed out. Are you hunched over a desk like he is? Huddled up in your shop researching old tomes? He wonders if you think about him too. He wonders if you miss his company as much as he misses yours. He can’t imagine those talking books to be good company. 

[ ᴅɪᴠɪᴅᴇʀꜱ ʙʏ: @/fairytopea]

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Fics that feature chronic pain

This week we have 7 fics that include chronic pain, across a wide range of genres. Check them out beneath the cut, and comment or kudos if you like them!

The Fluffy Painkille by thesweetpianowritingdownmylife (6387, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes,

Frumpkin secretly visits Essek, Essek discovers Frumpkin's purring helps with his chronic pain.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Lacuna by Sangreal (94811, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Torture

Essek is captured and tortured by the Dynasty for his crimes, losing his memory and magic. It is a long road to recovery.

Reccer says: I love this fic and honestly it's one of my favorite depictions of Essek with a permanent disability. The story is super engaging too.

Something To Believe In by AwesomeFroggy (108948, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Where Caleb is a librarian, Essek is exiled to Nicodranas, and Jester (as ever) is ready for shenanigans

Reccer says: The thing about self indulgent fics (and this one states that it is one) is that they tend to be written with so much love and comfort that it makes the entire fic better. This is definitely one of them

the handbook of touch by Anonymous (2481, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek has chronic pain. Caleb helps him by massaging his hands

Reccer says: It's hurt/comfort and intimacy and hands - it's great!

Coping Skills by eldritchmochi (251061, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Modern with magic AU, Caleb and Essek are both involved in the local kink scene and meet there, they also know each other from work, smut ensues.

Reccer says: I liked it!

a winter's crest detour by jaskofalltrades (22873, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

Essek’s less than anticipated Winter's Crest plans to spend the holidays with his unwanted fiancé get off to a rough start when his flight is rerouted to the middle of nowhere. He winds up trapped with fellow strandee Caleb, who manages to turn Essek’s entire world upside down and might just change Essek’s life for the better.

Reccer says: This is one of my comfort fics. It's like sipping a cup of hot cocoa while it's snowing outside.

Girl, Interrupting by Defiler_Wyrm (1902, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Jester casts sending at the worst possible time and blows a secret wide open!

Reccer says: It's short, sweet, hot & funny all in one neat little package. The chronic pain part isn't made a huge deal of but it's given space to be important.

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. 

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring dancing! Whether that be ballroom, pole or anything in between

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

This week's list was also the 69th unique theme! (nice)

[brokenheartsrecords]

track four: to break an engagement words: 0.8K tw: none taglist: @lxvebelle , @that-daughter-of-hephaestus find track three here note: not really my favourite piece of work, but it does set the scene

HAWTHORNE MANSION IS COLD AND uninviting. You’re going to marry into this house, this family, but it doesn’t look like it might be yours.

In your mind, you know that you can make the house look like yours, but you’re looking for reasons to not marry Grayson. It’s not that you don’t want to.

It’s just that you don’t know him.

He’s perfect in the limited societal events he chooses to attend; doesn’t drink more than one glass of any drink provided, his name never appearing in gossip sheets. There is nothing about him that could possibly be a valid enough reason to break off the engagement.

Unless he has a secret double life that might endanger your own life. 

You haven’t forgotten the voices you heard in the walls of your home, talking about your wedding to Lord Hawthorne, malicious sounding and rather creepy. 

You want to tell your mother about this, you really do. You would’ve done it, too, if she weren’t so excited that her daughter was getting married.

In the drawing room of Hawthorne House, Grayson sits beside you, careful not to let any part of his frame touch yours.

There was one problem about him.

He was too damn gentlemanly.

Skye and your mother are talking about the marriage banns and the engagement festivities on the other end of the room, pretending as though they really don’t care about anything that you and Grayson might talk about.

You should tell him that you hadn’t orchestrated this entire engagement, but he looks cold.

Just like the house.

You take a deep breath. You open our mouth.

And right at that moment, he leaps up, walking away from the seat like it burned him.

You’re confused, and you notice that Skye and your mother have stopped talking, instead choosing to look at Grayson.

He smiles, and it looks rather forced, and when he looks at you, his hand extended, you’re sure that he’d do anything to get out of this engagement.

“I was hoping if you’d like to take a go at the hedge mazes.” He begins. “You weren’t able to see much the last time you were here.”

Oh God, he absolutely hates you.

Still, you plaster a smile on your face and take his hand. “Of course, my Lord. Is it alright if we do so, Mama?”

“Oh, yes. I doubt Ms. Skye and I have any qualms about this. Do take a maid with you.”

You roll your eyes. “Sure, Mama.”

With a maid trailing five steps behind you, Grayson Hawthorne leads you into the maze, and your head supplies you with a mental image of him killing you when the maid is lost in the hedges,

You snort.

“Something funny, Madam?” He seems less on edge here in the maze. 

“Just… imagining,” you say.

“Imagining.”

“Hmm.”

Uncomfortable silence takes over the space the two of you stand in. 

“This is ridiculous.” You start. “You obviously do not want to marry me,” you untangle your elbow from his, “and I don’t want to marry you—and please do not take offense to that, Lord Hawthorne, I’m sure the two of us would rather wed people we know instead of people we do not.”

He looks surprised, and opens his mouth. You keep going on, not stopping at all.

“And the worst part is we can’t break the engagement or my honout will be lost, damn it all.”

“...you do not wish to marry me?” He asks, and if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was a bit offended.

“I don’t.” You confirm. 

He nods. “And you wish to break the engagement?”

“Yes.” 

He nods again. “As do I. Of course, it is not because of you—you do seem like a rather lovely person. I’ve just never felt the wish to marry.”

You grin. “Glad that this was sorted. Now, how are we going to break the engagement?”

Grayson smiles at you, one of those half smiles that you’ve always found attractive. “We drag society into this love affair.” He states, as though it was obvious. 

“Pardon?”

“Once they notice that you and I have no feelings towards each other, word will spread. It will reach my mother, and then yours. They, in turn, will be pressured by our delightful society to invalidate this marriage out of sympathy for you.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“We stage an extremely heated argument where you can scream falsehoods about me to my face and announce that you do not wish to marry me. Truthfully, this method is far more effective; but it would have me lose my dignity.”

The maid catches up behind you, and your elbow is intertwined with his again. “What do you say, my Lady? Are you ready to fool the proper English society?”

He looks straight in your eyes, and there’s a challenging glint in his. “When am I never?”

[acute-scary]

Behind the Ropes... a Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley FanFic.

Chapter 19: my tormenta...

Just a few days later...

October 2nd, 2024. 5:12 P.M.

The house felt emptier without Jey. Rhea sat on the couch in Jon and Trinity's living room, her thoughts racing as she absently scrolled through her phone. It had been a few days since she had last seen him—since he scrambled to make that last-minute flight for the press releases and appearances after winning the Intercontinental Championship. He’d been told he had the rest of the week off, but Friday afternoon, while at Universal Studios with Jeyce and Jaciyah, everything changed.

They had been having a great time. The kids’ laughter filled the air as they explored the park, and for a moment, everything felt normal—just Rhea and Jey with the kids, enjoying themselves away from the constant chaos. But then the phone call came. Jey’s face shifted from relaxed to tense, his plans suddenly upended. He’d barely had time to drop the kids off at his Dad's house before heading to the airport and Takecia wasn't exactly too thrilled with that. Rhea had heard the whole conversation on the phone, Jey kept telling her it was for work and Takecia came back with a reply, "Last time it was work it was actually Rhea.." Rhea knew this was his life, their life now, but that didn’t make the house feel any less empty without him.

Since then, Rhea had stayed with Jon and Trinity, though her mind was occupied with preparing for their new chapter. The rental property they had signed for was coming together, with a move-in date scheduled for October 16th. Rhea had spent the week finalizing details—furniture, utilities, and packing up the few things they’d brought. The new place was meant to be a fresh start, a clean slate for both of them, but it seemed like every step forward brought another hurdle.

The news had broken about them—TMZ, of course, couldn’t resist. The photos of her and Jey at Universal with the kids were plastered all over social media, but that wasn’t the worst of it. The gossip site had also leaked that both Rhea and Jey had filed for divorce from their exes, setting the internet ablaze with speculation. Within hours, the whispers had spread to the locker room.

It wasn’t long before she felt the shift. The eyes, the whispers, the pointed stares. The locker room that had once felt like family had grown cold. Everyone had an opinion, and most of them weren’t good. People who used to greet her with warmth now kept their distance, avoiding her as if she carried some kind of scandalous disease. Rhea knew why. They saw her as the new Lita, a homewrecker, a woman who had stepped out of bounds. The tabloids were already calling her that—the next “Lita,” dredging up the old affair between Amy Dumas and Adam Copeland.

She had tried to ignore it, but it stung. She wasn’t Lita, and Jey wasn’t Edge. They weren’t even trying to hide anything anymore, not now that their divorces were public. But the locker room had made their choice, and it was clear who they were siding with. Only a small group of people still talked to them—Damian, Kayden, Finn, Dom, JD, Carlos, Liv, Joseph, Cody, and Joe. Everyone else had shut them out.

Paul hadn’t been happy about the news breaking either, even though he had known about the affair long before TMZ did. There was no way he wouldn’t have heard the whispers, and if anyone knew how to handle a situation like this, it was him. Still, Paul wasn’t prepared for the fallout, not like this. The backlash was directed mostly at her, and that made it worse. Paul had pulled Jey aside recently, confirming that he would still keep the Intercontinental Championship despite the controversy, but that hadn’t stopped the rumors. Some people had gone straight to Paul, questioning if Jey deserved to hold the title after everything that had come out.

Worse, the questions had spread to her and Damian’s spots on the roster as the indestructible forces known as the 'Terror Twins'. People were wondering if they should even still be there. That got to her the most—knowing that Damian, her best friend, was under fire because of choices she had made. Damian tried to reassure her, told her to ignore the noise, but she could tell it bothered him too. The isolation, the whispers, the judgment—it was all starting to weigh her down.

Rhea leaned back into the couch, her eyes focused on nothing in particular. "Lita," she muttered under her breath, the word tasting bitter on her tongue. She wasn’t some villainous seductress out to ruin lives. Her relationship with Jey had been complicated, messy, but it had never been malicious. Why couldn’t anyone see that?

She sighed, pulling up her messages. Damian had texted her earlier about traveling with Jey for the next few weeks. It was weird for Jey, she knew that much. People were looking at him differently now, the same way they were looking at her. Every time he walked into the locker room, there were whispers. Damian said Jey shrugged it off, but she knew it hurt. It was more than just the locker room—it was the magazines, the fans, everyone who thought they knew their story when they didn’t even know the half of it.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed again. It was Jey.

"Miss me?" his text read, followed by a picture of him and Damian grinning like idiots, standing outside some press event. Rhea couldn't help but smile.

"More than you know," she replied, feeling a little lighter. She missed him, missed their quiet moments together, the way he always made her feel like she could breathe when everything else felt suffocating.

But for now, they had to deal with the storm they were in, together. No matter how many people turned their backs, they still had each other—and for Rhea, that was enough.

--

Jey stood off to the side, his eyes drifting around the bustling crowd at the WWE Fanatics event. The air buzzed with excitement, fans eager to catch a glimpse of their favorite superstars, and media lined up, ready to grab interviews. Tiffany Stratton and Nia Jax were up next for interviews, and Jey and Damian would follow them. He glanced at his phone and smiled as he texted Rhea, letting her know that everything was going smoothly.

"Miss me?" he had texted a few minutes ago, and her reply made him feel a little closer to home, even in the middle of the chaos.

Next to him, Damian nudged his arm. "Got the email," he said, a sly grin spreading across his face.

Jey arched a brow. "Email for what?"

"The chef," Damian replied, holding up his phone. "It’s confirmed. October 12th, Jon and Trinity’s new place. Rhea’s birthday is gonna be legendary, man."

Jey felt a rush of relief. He had come to Damian needing help organizing something special for Rhea’s 28th birthday. With everything that had been happening—their relationship being exposed, the constant judgment from everyone around them, and the overwhelming stress—Jey wanted to give her a moment to forget it all. Something intimate, something just for them and the few people who still had their backs.

Rhea’s birthday was on October 11th, but they had planned to hold the event on the 12th. Jon and Trinity had been in the middle of moving to their new home in Pensacola, and while most of their belongings had already been moved, they were still waiting for the electricity to be turned on, which wouldn’t happen until Friday night. For now, there were just the essentials left in the house—two beds, one for Rhea and the other for Jon and Trinity, along with the couches. Jey, however, it was easy for him and Rhea to move because Takecia was keeping the house and the furniture and Rhea refusing to set foot in her old home; it was only fair to both of them they get new everything: furniture, decor etc.

Damian had taken charge of booking the private chef, a rising star on Instagram, known for creating luxurious in-home dining experiences. That part of the plan was locked in. Now, Jey was on the hunt for the right party planner, someone who could bring his vision to life—a Great Gatsby-themed party. It wasn’t just because of the extravagance of the theme; it was for Rhea. Jon had mentioned that she had been glued to that movie, watching it on repeat since everything went down. Jey didn’t need to ask why. He could feel it every time he spoke to her, that something was off, something she wasn’t telling him. She always shrugged it off, telling him she was fine, but he knew better. He’d seen that kind of coping before.

"You sure she doesn’t suspect anything?" Damian asked, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"Nah, man," Jey said, though his voice carried a trace of doubt. "She keeps saying everything’s fine, but I can tell something’s wrong."

Damian gave him a look. "And she’s still watching The Great Gatsby?"

"Over and over," Jey said, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. "I know she’s hurting, but she won’t let me in. Every time I ask, she just brushes it off."

"That’s her way of dealing, I guess," Damian said with a shrug. "You know Rhea—she’s not gonna show it until she’s ready."

Jey sighed. "Yeah, but I want to do something, you know? This birthday, it’s gotta be perfect. It’s the least I can do after everything she’s been through."

Damian nodded. "Well, between the chef and the theme, she’s gonna love it. We just gotta keep it quiet."

As they stood there, waiting for their cue to head to the interview area, Jey’s phone buzzed again. This time it was Jon, texting him about the final details for the house move.

Jon: Got an email, the electricity will be on Friday morning instead of Friday night. You’re good for the 12th. Just make sure you get that party planner locked in Uce.

Jey smiled at the message. Jon had been nothing but supportive since everything had blown up. He and Trinity had opened their home to them, and now they were offering their new place for Rhea’s party. They knew, just as much as Jey did, how much Rhea needed this, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

Jey: Thanks, Uce. I’m on it.

He tucked his phone back into his pocket just as the crew signaled for them to head over for the interview.

"Ready?" Damian asked, adjusting his jacket.

"Yeah, let’s do this," Jey replied, but his mind was already racing ahead. The party planner, the decorations, the perfect Gatsby-style extravagance. He wanted everything to be flawless, a night where Rhea could escape, even if just for a few hours, from all the noise, all the judgment, all the hurt.

As they made their way to the interview area, the weight of everything lingered in the back of Jey’s mind. He couldn’t change what people thought of them, couldn’t erase the judgment they were facing, but he could give Rhea something special. Something that showed her, without a doubt, how much she meant to him.

--

Trinity pushed open the door to their soon-to-be former home, her steps echoing in the mostly empty space. The house was almost cleared out now, with only a few essential items left. As she walked into the living room, she saw Rhea lying on the couch, staring at her phone. The Great Gatsby was playing yet again, the small screen glowing in the dim room.

Trinity sighed softly. "Rhea, you’ve gotta stop with that movie," she said, walking over. "Come on, you know you need our help picking out the furniture. You still need to choose your master bedroom set and the two guest bedrooms."

Rhea groaned but didn’t look away from her phone. She knew Trinity was right, but it was hard to pull herself out of the comfort zone she had built with the movie playing on repeat. The familiarity of it kept her mind from wandering too far into the painful realities of her life.

Trinity sat down beside her, nudging her leg. "I mean it. You can’t leave this all to me. The only thing I need is a new dining room set—everything else is on you."

Rhea let out a deep sigh and paused the movie. She knew this was important, and she didn’t want to leave all the decisions up to Trinity. "Okay, okay," she muttered, sitting up. "I’m coming."

Trinity smiled, standing up and giving Rhea’s arm a light tug. "Good. I promise it’ll be fun. You get to make the place feel like home."

Reluctantly, Rhea slid her phone into her pocket and followed Trinity out the door. Jon’s Mustang was parked in the driveway, the trunk still loaded with boxes and bags that hadn’t found a place yet. Jon leaned against the car, scrolling through his phone, but looked up as the women approached.

"Finally!" Jon teased, smirking at Rhea. "Took you long enough."

Rhea rolled her eyes but managed a small smile. She slid into the crowded backseat of the Mustang, squeezing herself in among the bags and random belongings that still needed to be moved.

Jon hopped into the driver’s seat and started the engine. "Ready to buy a whole house worth of furniture in one afternoon?"

"Not really," Rhea muttered, resting her head against the window.

The drive to Furniture Row was filled with easy conversation between Jon and Trinity, though Rhea stayed mostly quiet. She was still feeling disconnected, like her mind was stuck in a fog. It was hard to focus on anything other than the chaos swirling in her life—her divorce, the media circus, the whispers from the locker room.

But today wasn’t about any of that. Today was about her future, her new home with Jey, and making it their own. As they pulled into the large parking lot of Furniture Row, she tried to push the heaviness aside. This was supposed to be a fresh start, and she needed to start embracing it, even if it felt overwhelming.

Jon parked, and the three of them stepped out into the warm afternoon sun. Trinity was already excited, practically dragging Rhea toward the entrance of the massive showroom.

Inside, the store was a maze of beautifully arranged rooms, each setup more elaborate than the last. Rhea felt a little daunted by the sheer number of choices, but she knew she had to focus. The new rental needed furniture, and she didn’t want to put this off any longer.

Trinity guided her toward the bedroom section first, eyeing different sets. "Okay, you’ve got the master and two guest rooms to fill. Let’s start with your room—something comfortable, luxurious. You deserve it."

Rhea nodded, though the enthusiasm still wasn’t there. She wandered through the rows of beds, running her fingers along the soft headboards and polished wood frames. Eventually, a king-sized bedroom set caught her eye. It was white and elegant, the kind of bed that invited you to sink in and forget about the world for a while.

"I like this one," Rhea said, her voice a little stronger. "For the master bedroom." She had wanted to get away from the black due to having black furniture with Matt.

Trinity smiled. "Perfect. Now let’s find something for the guest rooms."

They spent the next hour moving through the store, selecting two more simple yet cozy bed sets for the guest rooms, Rhea had decided to make them boy friendly for Jey's kids out of respect for both of them. The two then made their way to the dining section. Rhea tried to focus on the details, even though part of her still wanted to retreat.

In the dining area, Jon was already checking out options for Trinity’s new set, running his hands over the surfaces of various tables and chairs. "So what are you thinking, Rhea?" he asked, looking over his shoulder. "Rustic? Modern?"

Rhea took a deep breath, looking over the different sets. She wasn’t sure what style she wanted, but a sleek dark wood table with matching upholstered chairs caught her attention. It was understated yet elegant—something that could work for both formal dinners and casual meals with Jey and their close friends.

"That one," she said, pointing to the table. "It feels right."

Jon and Trinity exchanged a smile, pleased to see Rhea starting to get into the spirit of things.

"You’ve got good taste," Jon commented, stepping over to examine the table more closely. "This’ll look great in your new place."

Rhea smiled, a small sense of accomplishment settling over her. It wasn’t much, but it was a step toward building the life she and Jey were trying to create. Maybe the fog she’d been trapped in was beginning to lift, even if just a little.

As they headed back to the Mustang, with orders placed and delivery dates set, Jon tossed the keys in the air, catching them with a grin. "Not bad for an afternoon of work."

"Yeah," Rhea said, the corners of her lips curling into a smile. "Not bad at all, hope Jey doesn't freak out too much on the pricing..."

"He will be just okay with the $800 down payment you just dropped.." Jon said grinning.

Rhea's Master Bedroom Set:

Rhea's Guest Bedroom Sets:

Trinity's Dining Room Set:

As they walked out of the furniture store, Rhea’s phone buzzed in her hand. She smiled faintly as she saw the message from Jey—he had finally replied to the pictures she’d sent him of the bedroom and dining sets.

"These are great, babe," his message read, followed quickly by, "How’s your day going?"

Rhea’s fingers tapped away quickly, filling him in on the afternoon. The two messaged back and forth for a while, exchanging updates and little comments, their conversation offering her some comfort in the otherwise heavy day. Even though Jey wasn’t physically there, the connection they had through their messages felt grounding.

As Jon pulled the Mustang out of the parking lot and back onto the road, Trinity spoke up from the passenger seat. "You hungry, Rhea? We’re thinking Chick-fil-A. Want something?"

Rhea, feeling a hunger she hadn’t noticed before, nodded. "Yeah, I could eat."

They stopped at the drive-thru and ordered their meals. Jon drove slowly through the line, the trio choosing to eat in the car for privacy. Rhea leaned back, nibbling on her food while glancing at her phone every so often, waiting for Jey’s next message.

By the time they pulled back into the driveway, the sun was beginning to dip toward the horizon, casting long shadows across the nearly empty house. Enjoying their final days in the home before they officially moved out.

Jon tossed his keys on the kitchen counter and stretched. "I’ll get us some drinks. You guys sit tight."

Rhea and Trinity settled onto the couch, and for a moment, the room was quiet, save for the faint hum of traffic from outside. Trinity turned toward Rhea, a serious yet gentle expression on her face.

"You sure you’re okay?" Trinity asked, her tone laced with genuine concern. "You’ve been… well, kind of distant lately. With everything going on, I just want to make sure you're good."

Rhea forced a small smile, the kind that didn’t reach her eyes. "I’m fine, really," she answered reflexively. But deep down, she knew that wasn’t true.

Trinity leaned back, eyeing her knowingly. "Girl, come on. You’ve been watching The Great Gatsby on repeat. I mean, I get it, Leo is gorgeous, but…" She nudged Rhea playfully. "You’re a little obsessed, don’t you think?"

Rhea let out a soft laugh, but it was hollow. The mention of the movie made her stomach tighten—a reminder of the emotional weight it carried for her, one that she hadn’t shared with anyone yet.

Just then, Jon returned with three glasses, passing them out. He took a seat on the couch beside Trinity, raising an eyebrow as he noticed the tension between the two women. "Everything okay?"

Rhea hesitated for a moment, looking down at the drink in her hand. She swirled the liquid, watching it move, before glancing up at both of them. Her chest tightened, but she knew she couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore.

"Do you two really want to know why I’ve been watching The Great Gatsby so much?" she asked softly, her voice almost trembling. Jon and Trinity exchanged curious glances before nodding, leaning in slightly.

Rhea took a deep breath. "It’s… it’s the saddest love story ever written. Every time I watch it, I feel like I’m Daisy, stuck between Gatsby and her husband, Tom. But in my case, Jey is Gatsby, and… this whole mess we’re in—this thing called reality—that’s Tom."

Her words hung in the air, and the weight of them hit hard. Jon’s face grew serious, and Trinity listened intently, nodding for Rhea to continue.

Rhea pressed on, her voice shaking as she tried to explain the complexity of her feelings. "Daisy loved Gatsby, but she couldn’t give him everything. She couldn’t fully break free from her life with Tom, and in the end… she let Gatsby down. She broke his heart. And I keep thinking… what if I’m like Daisy? What if I can’t give Jey all of me? What if I let him down, just like she did?"

Tears welled up in Rhea’s eyes, but she blinked them back, trying to stay composed. "I love Jey. I love him so much it hurts, but… I feel like I’m betraying everything I ever stood for. All the sneaking around we did, the lies… I hate it. It made me feel like I wasn’t the person I thought I was."

Jon’s hand reached out, resting gently on her shoulder. "You’re not Daisy," he said firmly. "This isn’t some book. You’re doing the best you can with a difficult situation. You’re not betraying anyone by loving Jey."

Trinity nodded, her voice soft but full of support. "You’ve been through so much, Rhea and Jey? He’s not Gatsby—he’s not going to ask you to give up pieces of yourself. He loves you for you."

Rhea shook her head, emotions swirling in her chest. "But it’s not just about him. It’s about me, too. Every time we snuck around, it felt like I was betraying the values I’ve always held—loyalty, honesty… But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t help it because I am in love with him. However, that doesn’t take away the guilt."

The tears that had been threatening finally spilled over, and Rhea wiped them away quickly. "I feel like I’ve let everyone down. The fans, the locker room, even myself. No matter how much I try to justify it, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m… broken."

The room was quiet, save for the soft sound of Rhea’s crying. Jon and Trinity didn’t rush to respond. They let her speak, let her pour out the raw truth that had been buried beneath the surface for so long.

After a moment, Trinity leaned forward, her voice steady and warm. "Rhea, you are not broken. You’re human and humans make mistakes. We do things we regret, and we deal with guilt. But that doesn’t define you. What matters is that you’re moving forward, and that you love Jey in the way that matters—the real, deep kind of love that doesn’t fade."

Jon nodded in agreement. "You and Jey? You’re not some tragic love story. You’re writing your own story, and it’s not over yet. You’re stronger than you think."

Rhea wiped her face again, her breathing starting to steady. For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt a little less alone. Jon and Trinity understood—they didn’t judge her, they didn’t see her as Daisy or Gatsby or Tom. They saw her as Rhea, their friend, who was trying to make sense of the mess she was in.

"You’re not going to let Jey down," Jon said gently. "Because you’ve already given him the most important thing—you."

Rhea nodded, feeling the weight on her chest start to ease just a little. She wasn’t sure where things would go from here, but maybe, just maybe, she could start to believe that she wasn’t doomed to live out a tragedy like the one in The Great Gatsby.

Maybe her story—hers and Jey’s—was still unfolding, and it didn’t have to end in heartbreak.

After their heartfelt conversation, Jon felt a surge of inspiration. "You know what? I still have my laptop in the car," he said suddenly, his eyes brightening. "How about we watch a movie together? It might be nice to unwind after everything."

Rhea and Trinity exchanged hopeful glances, their spirits lifting at the suggestion. "That sounds perfect!" Trinity replied, her enthusiasm breaking the heavy air that had settled around them.

As Jon stepped out to retrieve his laptop, he felt a sense of urgency. He needed to talk to Jey about the birthday party he was planning for Rhea. This was a critical moment; he had to make sure that whatever celebration was in store wouldn’t inadvertently remind Rhea of her current struggles. He dialed Jey’s number, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jey answered, his tone warm but laced with an underlying tension.

"Listen, man," Jon started, taking a breath to steady himself. "I was thinking about the birthday party for Rhea."

“Yeah? What about it?” Jey sounded curious but slightly distracted.

“I think you should rethink the theme. The Great Gatsby might not be the best choice right now,” Jon said, his voice steady but urgent.

There was a pause on the other end. Jon could almost hear Jey’s gears turning. “Why’s that?” he finally asked.

Jon knew he had to be candid. “Rhea’s been watching that movie on repeat. It’s an emotional story for her, and with everything going on, celebrating her birthday with that theme could stir up feelings she’s still processing.”

A moment of silence lingered, and Jon could hear the faint sounds of the venue around Jey. He imagined his friend standing there, a mix of surprise and contemplation washing over him. “I thought something was off when she started watching it so much,” Jey admitted, his tone softening. "Damian, the Great Gatsby is off.."

Suddenly, Jon heard Damian's voice in the background, animatedly arguing in rapid Spanish. “What’s he saying?” he asked, unable to suppress his curiosity.

“Damian, ENGLISH AGAIN!” Jey snapped, a hint of amusement breaking through his frustration.

Jon chuckled, picturing the chaos unfolding on the other side of the line. “Sounds like a classic Damian moment. Always trying to keep things spicy.”

“I’ll find a different theme,” Jey said, sounding resolute. “Thanks for the heads-up, Jon. I appreciate it.”

“Of course, man. Just looking out for her,” Jon replied, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. Changing the theme would be a significant step toward creating a celebration filled with joy rather than reminders of heartache.

After ending the call, Jon returned to the living room, where Rhea and Trinity were waiting expectantly. He settled onto the couch, opening his laptop and searching for something lighthearted to watch. The weight of their earlier conversation lingered in the air, but the anticipation of a fun movie night began to lift their spirits.

Rhea, still processing her feelings, snuggled up beside Trinity, who threw an arm around her in a comforting embrace. "You know, we could go for something funny," Jon suggested, scrolling through options. "How about a classic comedy? Something to make us laugh."

"That sounds perfect," Rhea replied, her voice a touch lighter. "I could use a good laugh."

The camaraderie of Rhea's family was a balm for her weary heart. While shadows of her situation still loomed large, moments like these reminded her that she wasn’t alone. She felt grateful for Jon and Trinity, their unwavering support providing her with a sense of stability amidst the chaos.

As the movie played, Rhea found herself laughing along with Jon and Trinity. The shared joy, the lighthearted jokes, and the easy banter made her momentarily forget the heaviness she had been carrying. Each laugh was like a small victory, a reminder that even in the midst of turmoil, happiness could still find its way through.

Yet, deep down, Rhea grappled with her emotions. The thoughts of Jey, the affair, and the impending changes weighed heavily on her. She knew their love was real, but the fear of hurting him, of being the Daisy to his Gatsby, was overwhelming. She silently wished for clarity, for strength, to navigate the storm that lay ahead.

As laughter echoed in the room, Rhea felt a sense of warmth envelop her. She glanced at her family, their faces lit with joy, and for the first time in days, she allowed herself to believe that perhaps, just perhaps, she could find a way forward—one day, one moment at a time.

-

Jey sat on the edge of the hotel bed, running his hand through his hair in frustration as Damian paced the room, tossing out random ideas for Rhea’s birthday theme. "What about a ‘90s retro vibe?” Damian suggested, to which Jey shook his head.

"Nah, man. She’s not into that." Jey sighed. Ever since Jon had warned them not to go with the Great Gatsby theme, they had been stuck, unable to agree on a new direction for Rhea’s 28th birthday.

They were still deep in discussion when Damian’s phone buzzed. He checked it and grinned. “Kayden wants to hit up a club tonight.”

Jey looked up, feeling a mix of hesitation and exhaustion. "A club? I don’t know, man. You know I’m not really feeling all that right now."

Damian, always the persuasive one, nudged him. "Come on, bro. You need a break. All we’ve been doing is planning and stressing. It’s just one night. You need to chill."

Jey paused, thinking about how much backlash he and Rhea had faced since their relationship became public. He had been trying to lay low ever since, avoiding the spotlight outside the ring. “I don’t know, D. What if we run into trouble?”

Damian rolled his eyes. “No one’s gonna bother us, man. We’ll keep it lowkey. Just a couple of drinks, good music, and we’re out. I swear.”

After a few moments, Jey gave in, deciding to put Rhea’s birthday plans on hold for the night. “Alright, fine. But I’m holding you to that lowkey promise.”

Both guys got dressed—Jey pulling on a black hoodie and Damian in his usual all-black outfit with his signature leather jacket. They met Kayden in the hotel lobby, and she greeted Damian with a huge smile, throwing her arms around him. “You guys ready?”

Jey stayed quiet, still unsure about the whole idea, but followed them as they climbed into an Uber and made their way to the club. When they arrived, there was a long line out the door, and Jey’s nerves flared up again. But as they exited the car, the bouncer spotted Damian and grinned, pointing at his Damian Priest shirt.

“Ayo, Priest! Come on in, man, WEPA!” the bouncer said, pulling the velvet rope to let them inside. Jey shot Damian a look.

Damian just shrugged. “What can I say? Lowkey, right?”

Inside, the music was loud, the crowd packed and buzzing with energy. The lights flashed in every direction, and Jey instantly regretted agreeing to come. He slouched a little, trying to disappear into his hoodie, but Damian was already calling over a waitress.

“Three Coronas, three shots of Patrón with lime,” Damian ordered, handing her his credit card.

Jey blinked at him, confused. “What the fuck happened to lowkey?”

Damian just grinned. “This is how I do lowkey.”

Jey reluctantly took the first shot, feeling the heat of the Patrón hit him instantly. The lime did little to help. A few shots later, the hesitation he had felt all night started to fade. He found himself grinning, laughing at Kayden and Damian’s drunken jokes, the trio on the verge of tipping over in the booth. The stress of the last few weeks seemed to lift, if only temporarily.

Jey then had an idea. Not his best one. “Yo, should I ask the DJ to play my theme song?”

Kayden snorted with laughter, and Damian, clearly just as buzzed, grinned wide. “I bet you 200 bucks you won’t do it.”

Fueled by the alcohol and Damian’s dare, Jey downed another shot of Patrón and staggered toward the DJ booth. The security guard standing nearby recognized him and smiled.

“Jey Uso, right? Big fan, man.”

Jey smirked, the alcohol making him bolder. “I bet you won’t play my theme music.”

The DJ, clearly up for the challenge, grabbed the mic and hyped up the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got the honor of hosting WWE’s newest Intercontinental Champion, Jey Uso!”

The crowd erupted into cheers, and Jey felt a surge of adrenaline as the DJ blasted his theme song. His heart pounded with the bass, the crowd's energy sweeping him up.

Then, in another questionable decision, Jey grabbed the mic and started shouting, “YEET! YEET!” The crowd caught on quickly, chanting along with him.

In that moment, Jey was completely in his element, lost in the noise and the chants. The worries and backlash melted away as the crowd responded with deafening YEETs, each one louder than the last. But deep down, as the music blared and the shots continued to burn through him, Jey couldn’t shake the feeling that this was going to come back to bite him.

After Jey led the crowd in a rowdy YEET chant, he tipped the DJ generously and leaned in, asking, “Yo, can you play some early 2000s hip-hop?” The DJ nodded, and Jey smiled, stumbling slightly as he made his way back to the booth, still riding the high of the crowd's energy.

But before he could get there, he felt someone grab his hand. Turning around, he was met with a mischievous grin from a random woman who had made her way toward him. “Hey, you wanna party in the bathroom?” she asked, her eyes flashing with something Jey wasn’t entirely comfortable with. He was still processing what was happening when suddenly, Kayden stepped between them, glaring at the woman.

“He’s not interested. Jey’s with us,” Kayden snapped, her voice firm.

The woman’s smile faded, and she gave Jey a smug look. “We all know you cheat,” she said, her words dripping with venom. Jey’s heart skipped a beat. For a split second, the alcohol’s haze lifted, and reality came crashing back. All the backlash, the judgment, and the scrutiny he and Rhea had been facing since their relationship became public hit him like a punch in the gut.

Kayden grabbed his hand, pulling him away from the woman before things could escalate. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” she said, her voice low but urgent.

Jey didn’t argue. Kayden led him back to Damian, who was still laughing, completely oblivious to what had just happened. “We need to go,” she told him quickly, not waiting for Damian to ask why.

The three of them pushed through the packed club, weaving between groups of people, the flashing lights and pounding music making Jey’s head spin. Just as they reached the exit, they were greeted by the one thing Jey didn’t want to deal with: paparazzi.

Cameras flashed in their faces, blinding him. Jey tried to block the flashes with his arm, frustration bubbling up as the photographers shouted his name, asking intrusive questions. "Jey! Over here! Is Rhea with you tonight? What's going on with the relationship?"

The alcohol made everything worse, clouding his judgment and making his annoyance flare. Kayden, seeing the situation spiraling, acted fast. She spotted a line of taxis nearby and grabbed both Jey and Damian by the hands, tugging them toward a free cab.

“Royal Sonesta, please!” Kayden called out to the driver as they climbed inside. The taxi sped off just as the paparazzi gathered around, trying to snap more photos, but the car pulled away too quickly for them to follow.

Inside the taxi, Jey leaned back, rubbing his face. “Man, I knew this was a bad idea.”

Kayden, still holding Damian’s hand, looked over at him. “Yeah, you’re right. But we’re out now. Let’s just get back to the hotel and call it a night.”

Damian, still buzzed but sensing the shift in energy, nodded in agreement. “Lowkey, right?” he said, giving Jey a half-smile.

Jey didn’t laugh this time. He just stared out the window, feeling the weight of the night—and his choices—settle heavily on his shoulders.

The taxi finally pulled up to the Royal Sonesta, and the three of them stumbled out, struggling to walk straight. Jey felt like his mind was clearer now, but his body was still betraying him, the alcohol lingering in his system. “I may be alert now, but my body is still messed up,” he muttered, trying to laugh it off, but the words slurred as they left his mouth.

Damian stretched, still riding the buzz. “I’m gonna spend the night with Kayden,” he said, giving Jey a lazy grin before he and Kayden disappeared down the hallway toward their room.

Jey nodded, trying to focus on his own journey down the hall. He felt the room spin slightly as he walked, forcing him to grab onto the wall every few steps. “Come on, Uso… you got this,” he whispered to himself, determined to make it to his door without puking.

When he finally reached his room, he fumbled with his key card, barely managing to get it into the slot. The door clicked open, and Jey stumbled inside. That’s when everything started to go downhill.

His head started spinning, the room tilting and swaying like he was on a boat. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He bent down to take off his shoes, but the motion sent his body off balance. Before he could stop it, he pitched forward, hitting the carpet with a dull thud.

Jey groaned, his mind too foggy to process the situation. The last thing he remembered before darkness took over was the sensation of his cheek pressed against the floor, and then he was out cold, knocked out by the weight of exhaustion and alcohol.

—

9:08 AM Thursday October 3rd.

Rhea groggily turned off her alarm without even glancing at her phone. She shuffled toward the bathroom, her body still half-asleep. As she washed her face, she reached for her toothbrush but paused when she realized she was out of toothpaste. With a frustrated sigh, she decided to head to Jon and Trinity’s room to borrow some.

Still rubbing her eyes, Rhea knocked lightly before stepping inside. She barely noticed how quickly both Jon and Trinity put away their phones as soon as she entered. Raising an eyebrow, she asked, "Hey, can I borrow some toothpaste?"

Trinity, looking alarmed, didn’t respond right away. She glanced at Jon, who just kept his head down, pretending to be busy with something else. Without saying a word, Trinity pointed toward the bathroom. Rhea now had the most curious and annoyed look on her face.

Rhea, now fully awake and sensing something was off, hesitated. "Okay... What’s going on?" she asked, looking between them.

Trinity sighed, exchanging another glance with Jon. After a brief pause, she reached over to her nightstand and handed Rhea her phone, a look of reluctance on her face. "You might want to see this," Trinity said softly.

Confused, Rhea took the phone and saw the screen filled with social media posts—pictures of Jey at the club the night before, stumbling out, surrounded by paparazzi, looking drunk and out of control. There were headlines, too, speculating about his behavior and dragging their relationship back into the spotlight.

Her stomach sank. “What the hell?” Rhea muttered, scrolling through the comments, each one harsher than the last. All the backlash she and Jey had fought was suddenly flaring up again even worse.

Trinity watched her carefully. “We didn’t want you to find out like this. Jon’s been trying to get ahold of Jey all morning, but he hasn’t answered.”

Rhea's hands tightened around the phone as she felt a wave of frustration, anger, and disappointment wash over her. "I can’t believe this..." she whispered, feeling her heart race as she tried to make sense of it all.

Rhea handed Trinity her phone back, her mind racing as she headed back to her room. She needed to check her own phone and see if Jey had reached out. As she opened her messages, she noticed a series of texts from him, sent late last night while she had been asleep. Her heart sank as she scrolled through them, each message progressively more incoherent and filled with typos.

9:38 PM

Hey Rhea, just wanna say goodnight. You’re the best. ❤️

10:08 PM

I’m out with Damian… we’re just chillin. You shoulda come!

11:49 PM

Dude, this place is crazy! I feel like a champ! U should be here!

12:12 Am

Can’t believe it…. I’m thaaaaa champ.! YEET! Where u at?!

1:48 AM

U should’ve come with me! Rhea plz! Everyone’s here and they know me. I miss u. Where’d u go? I love u!🤍

Her heart ached at the sight of the last message, the way his affection spilled out in a drunken haze mixed with desperation. Just then, her phone rang, and she glanced at the screen to see it was Paul calling. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she answered, “Hi, Paul.”

“Rhea, hey,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Have you been in touch with Jey?”

She hesitated for a moment before replying, “I received a goodnight text from him at 9:30, but that was it,” she lied, trying to keep her tone professional.

“Okay, I just wanted to check in. We’re getting a lot of press about his night out, and I need to know if he is okay…” Paul said, his voice filled with concern.

“I’ll try to reach him,” Rhea replied, her heart racing. After hanging up, she immediately attempted to call Jey, but it went straight to voicemail. Panic set in as she left a message, her voice shaky. “Jey, it’s Rhea. Please call me back. I need to know you’re okay. I’m worried about you.”

She ended the call, staring at her phone, unsure of what to do next. The weight of the situation pressed heavily on her chest, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that this night was going to change everything.

—

Damian woke up with a splitting headache, a throbbing reminder of the chaotic night before. He squinted against the sunlight streaming through the curtains, the brightness only amplifying his discomfort. In the corner of the room, Kayden was doing yoga, gracefully transitioning into the King Pigeon pose. She took a deep breath, her focus unwavering, and as she held the position, she glanced back at him.

“Good morning,” Damian mumbled, still rubbing his temples.

“Morning! You look rough,” Kayden replied with a teasing smile before taking another deep breath. “Jey, Press, Paul,” she added, her tone shifting slightly as she remembered the events of the night before.

Damian kissed her on the cheek, his mind racing. He quickly got dressed and left the room, making his way to his and Jey’s hotel room. When he opened the door, his heart dropped. Jey was passed out on the floor, tangled in his clothes, and it was clear he hadn’t made it to bed.

“Jey!” Damian exclaimed, rushing over and rolling him onto his back. He shook him vigorously, trying to rouse him from his slumber. Jey struggled to open his eyes, but when he finally managed to do so, he immediately shut them again, groaning.

“Come on, man! Wake up!” Damian shouted, panic creeping into his voice. He could see that Jey was disoriented, his expression blank as he tried to piece together where he was and what had happened.

“What... what time is it?” Jey mumbled, his words slurred and barely coherent.

“It’s late, dude! We have a situation,” Damian urged, looking at Jey with urgency. “Paul’s been trying to reach you. You’re all over the news! You can’t just sleep this off!”

Jey finally blinked a few times, slowly processing Damian's words. “What do you mean? What’s going on?” he asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, clearly still struggling to shake off the remnants of the night.

“Last night was a mess! You need to get up!” Damian said, feeling the pressure mounting as he watched Jey try to come to terms with reality. The gravity of the situation was beginning to dawn on Jey, and the look in his eyes shifted from confusion to concern as he realized he had to take responsibility for his actions.

“Fucking told you ‘lowkey’ would get us into trouble!” Jey yelled, his voice hoarse from the night’s escapades. But Damian ignored him, staring intently at his phone.

“We're going to be in big trouble,” Damian muttered, swiping through notifications. He turned the screen towards Jey, showing him the litany of missed calls and messages. Jey's heart sank as he processed the numbers: three missed calls from Paul, four messages from Rhea, seven missed calls from Rhea, and two voicemails.

Jey took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on him. His hands trembled slightly as he quickly grabbed his own phone, the screen lighting up with notifications. His heart raced as he saw the chaos unfold before him: seven missed calls from Jon, four missed calls from Trinity, four from Paul, and that’s when it hit him like a freight train—fifteen missed calls from Rhea, along with several voicemails.

“Oh no,” he muttered, his stomach dropping. “What the hell did I do last night?”

Damian ran a hand through his hair, clearly agitated. “We need to figure this out, like, now. Rhea’s worried sick, and you know how Paul can get. We can't just ignore this.”

Jey’s mind raced as he tried to piece together the fragmented memories of the previous night. “I didn’t mean to cause this mess,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just wanted to have a good time for once. I didn’t think it would spiral like this.”

“Yeah, well, it did,” Damian replied sharply. “We need to face the music. Start by calling Paul back.”

Jey nodded, swallowing hard as he dialed Paul’s number. The phone rang, and with each tone, his anxiety grew. He could only hope he would pick up and that somehow, he could make this right before it went any further downhill.

After what felt like an eternity, Paul answered the phone after just two rings. His tone was clipped, and Jey braced himself for the inevitable lecture.

“Jey, listen to me. Just listen. I don’t want to hear excuses right now,” Paul began, his voice heavy with frustration. “I understand that the relationship being leaked has been eating at your mentality, but this? Getting completely fucked up at a club? That’s not how you handle things.”

Jey winced, guilt flooding through him. He opened his mouth to respond, but Paul cut him off again.

“Worse yet, you thought it was a good idea to go up to the DJ and ask him to play your theme song? What were you thinking?” Paul continued, his voice rising. “You’re representing WWE, and this behavior is unacceptable. You’re supposed to be a professional!”

“I didn’t mean to—” Jey began, but Paul was relentless.

“You didn’t mean to what? Make a spectacle of yourself? You didn’t think your actions could have repercussions? This isn’t just about you, Jey; it affects the entire roster and the company’s reputation!”

Jey felt his stomach churn as he absorbed the weight of Paul’s words. “I know, Paul. I messed up. I just... I wanted to get my mind off everything, you know? With the whole situation with Rhea—”

“Save it!” Paul snapped. “You’re dismissed for the remainder of the weekend. You’re lucky I’m not taking your title away from you right now. You’re also being fined five thousand dollars for this stunt.”

Jey’s heart sank. “Five thousand?”

“Yeah, five thousand,” Paul replied, his tone still icy. “Also have Damian call me. He’s going to have to deal with this too. You need to get it together and face the consequences of your actions.”

“Understood,” Jey muttered, feeling defeated.

“Good. We’ll talk later.” With that, Paul hung up.

As Jey ended the call, the weight of his choices crashed down on him. He looked over at Damian, who was watching him intently. “Well?” Damian asked, crossing his arms.

“Paul’s furious,” Jey admitted, running a hand through his hair. “He’s dismissing me for the weekend and fining me five grand. Said I’m lucky I’m keeping my title. He wants you to call him as well.”

“Damn, Jey,” Damian said, shaking his head. “We really stepped in it this time.”

“I know,” Jey replied, a sense of urgency flooding through him. “I need to fix this with Rhea before it gets any worse.”

“Then let’s go,” Damian said, determination in his eyes. “You’ve got to make it right.”

With a deep breath, Jey steeled himself for what lay ahead. He couldn’t let his mistakes define him; he needed to confront the fallout of his actions and salvage what was left of his relationship with Rhea.

Jey took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart as he dialed Rhea’s number. When she picked up, her voice was soft, almost fragile, and it sent a jolt of guilt through him.

“Jey?” she said, and he could hear the tension in her voice. Before he could explain himself, she interrupted him.

“Please, just come home,” Rhea pleaded, her words laced with urgency. “I’d rather talk to you in person. Just come home to me…”

Before he could respond, she hung up, leaving him with nothing but the dial tone. Jey’s heart sank, the weight of her words crashing down on him. He felt like he really fucked up this time.

“Fuck!” he yelled, frustration boiling over. He began throwing his clothes into his duffel bag, each item representing his anger and regret. He didn’t care how it looked; he just wanted to leave. He tossed in his toiletries with reckless abandon, not even bothering to organize them.

“Jey, wait!” Damian called, trying to intervene as he watched his friend spiral. “You need to calm down!”

But Jey was beyond listening. The feelings of letting Rhea down clawed at him, igniting a fire that he couldn’t extinguish. He zipped up his bag with a swift motion and stormed out of the hotel room, ignoring Damian’s attempts to calm him.

The hallway felt suffocating as Jey marched toward the elevator. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the anger propelling him forward. Each step brought the weight of his mistakes into sharper focus, and he was determined to face Rhea and make things right, no matter what it took. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel alone or abandoned.

As he waited for the elevator, he replayed their conversation in his mind, his stomach twisting in knots. He had to show her that he cared, that he was there for her—even if it meant confronting his own demons along the way.

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

Sorry I like my men toxic and nobody can convince me that Tseng would give you a fully healthy relationship. He’s just not the worst guy you could date. So here are some of Tseng’s toxic habits. I wish we could post powerpoint slides. Like I guess NSFW for my choice of words. Edit: Okay I’ve typed more. It’s NSFW, it wasn’t that when it was just scattered notes i swear. granted, this is still scattered notes

Forgiveness?

Tseng. The man you forgive a million times because someone like him is so hard to come by. Even if you’re a person who doesn’t tolerate bullshit. You know that it would be impossible to find anyone nearly as good as him despite his mistakes. Tseng knows this too, taking advantage of your level of comfort in him. The connection between the two of you so deep there wasn’t a possibility you could view life without him. Tseng creates soul bonds with his significant other, he has to have all of you fully invested in him. You would also want for absolutely nothing, he can provide everything you could ever want so you can focus on the future you want to build for yourself. Whether it’s school, art, creating your own business, etc. Tseng is there to guarantee everything goes according to plan if it’s financially or if he has to pull a few strings. Seeks out people who would be reluctant to replace him but aren’t very co-dependent. If you manage to leave Tseng, say good riddance to developing any new relationships. He’s either going to make any of your new significant others vanish. If it’s someone he can’t kill, he’ll find a way to scare them away from you or find a way to put them in prison. 

My alternative reasoning as to why all of your other relationships would fail? The dick of course. Yes. The unbelievable wee wee. There’s not a soul in the world that would be able to learn your body the way he does. Have you ever heard of people being nearly ready to pass away because they lost their dick? Well if you haven’t, you have now. Even thinking of him fucking someone else the way he does with you is enough to make you want to vomit. That shit will have you sliding down the wall crying. You can try all you like to fuck someone else, it won’t compare. The way he touches you immediately sends electricity down your spine. It’s all in the way he knows how to touch you. Where to touch you. A subtle brush of his fingers along the small of your back while you’re riding him. An almost tickling sensation that causes you to press yourself against him as he leans up to kiss the most sensitive parts of your neck. How about when all he needs to do is look into your eyes and knows exactly how you want to be fucked? You can’t think of a time you had to ask him to do anything, your minds were seemingly in perfect sync. Always so so willing to please you. “So you wanna fuck other people huh?” He whispers in your ear mockingly while driving his cock deeper into you. Your knees pressed against your chest, legs hooked in Tseng’s arms as he ensures you won’t slip out of your position. No, you really don’t, not when he’s reminding you of what you’ll be missing. You’ll be calling him the next day for more, innocently asking for him to come over to “talk”. There won’t be much talking, just Tseng bending you over the kitchen table. His hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucks himself into you so deeply, ignoring the way your hands push against his abdomen in a half-hearted attempt to slow his tempo down. 

There aren’t many people in this world that would be nearly as attentive as he is. The way he can easily tell all of your needs within moments of talking to you. Reads you like a book and it can’t help but make your heart flip, cause like, ‘who sent this man?’ and why does he know all of your emotional needs and exactly how to take care of them? Tseng carries aspects of his job along with his relationships. The same way he gets to know his enemies closely, he’ll do the same to you. Memorizes all of your sayings, even can predict what your response would be to most questions or statements. It’s almost more eerie than heart warming. With this comes the ability to manipulate you endlessly. Gaslighting has never been easier honestly. Lying to you about anything or forcing you to agree with his point of view would be child’s play. The way he carries himself during an argument, so well composed, rarely letting his emotions control him paired with the way he effectively strings his words together to soothe you. His calmness will make you question why you’re even so worked up. Tseng isn’t, so why are you? Tseng makes you see everything through rose colored lenses, and despite your aching heart when he hurts you, Tseng could never be wrong in your eyes. He only does what’s best for you. 

Gaslighting? Probably.

Truly remembers every word you’ve said to him and will use it against you. This goes back into my last little paragraph but deeper? Uses traumatic things from your past so you can believe that maybe your emotions, in regards to something Tseng has done wrong, are nothing more than misguided reactions. Will have you think that maybe you’re projecting your fears from past experiences onto him when you challenge him or try to hold him accountable for any wrongdoings. Certainly will guilt trip you knowing exactly what makes you feel like you’re the biggest piece of shit in the world. He doesn’t have to do anything outrageous. It’s the way Tseng subtly changes his body language. Slumping his shoulders just a bit, the way his brow furrows at your words or actions, breaking eye contact and staring at the floor like a scolded child. To put the cherry on top, it’s the ever so slight change in his tone of voice. The wavering in his tone as he speaks softly, not too soft for it to sound out of the ordinary, but enough for you to believe you’ve hurt his feelings. Usually resulting in you coddling him, now you’re the one apologizing because you “never meant to make him feel bad” even if it’s because you were grilling him for something as major as fucking his boss behind your back. Believing that it must be your fault if he’s off sleeping with others. Master manipulator for sure. He’s good at lying, like we see what he does for a living.

Like to make you cry because he's the only one that can also make you better. At times he’ll do this just to make sure he’s got complete control over you still. Wrapping his arms around you in such a calming way, his warmth and sweet words coaxing you to relax against him so he could “make it all better again.” More makeup sex. Somehow gets a kick out of cheering you back up. One minute you were sobbing because his words were a little too cruel and now you’re sobbing because he won’t stop fucking you so good. Tseng has a way he likes to position you in times like this. Having you lay on your stomach, your back arched just enough for his hips to flush against your ass as he completely sheaths himself in you, whispering in your ear asking “you still love me, right?” Christ, he has a way of making himself emotionally needy at just the right times. You can’t help but whimper, whine, and eventually choke out, through your moans, your appreciation, love, and devotion to him. Always ends with him cuming in you, some aftercare, then holding you in his arms for a majority of the night unless work calls him away.

Sometimes-y af?

He can pick and choose when he wants to pick up your relationship or not but you cannot do the same to him. Loves someone who he can come and go as he pleases with. You're so stupid and willing. Loyal to a fault, though the only person it’s negatively affecting is you. There isn’t a time you’ve turned him away thus far. Constantly taking him into your arms, babying him as though he’s some angel despite you knowing he isn’t. Tseng’s just managed to get you to the point you couldn't care less about his deceptive ways. You just want him by your side, no matter what the circumstances may be. The entire world can see the invisible leash and collar Tseng has put on you, yet you manage to stay blind to it all. You’ll wait like the good little puppy he’s molded you into. 

It’s a wonder he can be such a gentleman and a conniving son of a bitch. The kind to end an argument by demanding to be left alone but will ask “what you're doing tonight” a few hours later---he's going to fuck you—giving you a reason to keep accepting him back into your loving arms. He knows you’re a gift from the Goddess but he can’t help that he likes being toxic at times. It’s why he treats you so well and the sex is so unbelievably good. He needs to cement himself into your soul so he can continuously get away with everything, so things can continue to go exactly as he wants it to. Tseng prefers a life with you that has no consequences. For him. You, however, have to deal with punishment if you dare treat him in a similar manner to his treatment of you. Will show his displeasure with hurtful words and by neglecting you. If that doesn’t have the desired effects he’s willing to scare you into submission. Once again, nothing too outrageous that he would do. Tseng might just choke you a bit, push you against a wall, or if you try to run he’ll hold you against him tightly. Whispering into your ear about making you disappear if he can’t have you the way he wants you. Telling you how he does so much for you and he at the very least deserves you on your best behavior at all times or else he might just have to break that pretty neck of yours. Isn’t too big on yelling, he can get his point across just fine without having to do so.

Stalker? Obviously.

Tseng has trackers in your cars, phone, and bags. It doesn’t matter where you go, he’s going to find you. He’s definitely followed you from location to location, making sure you were doing what you said you would be. Sure he’s always been able to track you, but that isn’t the same as seeing you. You could be doing anything in the areas you claimed to be in. Tseng is even familiar with the faces of employees of each store you frequent. Has tracked down every family member and friend of yours, performing thorough background checks on all of them. Even closely looking after some of the people closest to you. Tseng has to approve of the people you hang around of course, he won’t tolerate anything that he feels is a negative influence and will force them out of your life. Tseng will sit outside of your house for hours after leaving, wondering if someone will come over. If he knows someone is coming over he’s got your home mic’d. Listening to all of your conversations, evading your most private conversations. Hates to hear when you vent about him, makes it hard to come back to you and act nice when in reality he wants to correct you for telling his business to your friends and family. Doesn’t mind when you’re speaking highly of him though, you help boost his ego most of the time. Getting space from Tseng is impossible. Your attempts to drive around and find a nice parking spot are all for nothing. He’s following right behind you. Is definitely going to block you in with his own car, angrily getting out of his own. Once he made you leave your car where it was entirely. Pissed that you would try to get away from him at all, it doesn’t matter if it’s just for a few hours. Pushing you into the passenger seat of his car, driving you back home all while yelling about how stupid you were and that you would always come back begging for him. 

He was always right about that. Nothing would stop you from wanting Tseng back if he finally decided he was done. A relationship with Tseng is either on his terms or very much a “till death do us part” 

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘀 pros and cons

a girl asked me to talk about my erasmus experience in the questions box and she inspired me to make this post. if you have posts to request don't be shy! unfortunately i don't have all the time i would like to uptade but i will try to keep up.

erasmus is a student mobility program of the european union that allows a european student to attend a school in another EU country for a period of time legally recognized by their home institution.

it is a temporary experience with many benefits, enabling students to engage with different cultures and customs. due to its non-permanent nature, i believe it is one of the most beautiful opportunities for a student to feel completely free to explore and understand themselves, to figure out what they want and do not want from their life and educational path.

but let’s start by discussing its downsides. unfortunately, not everything is perfect.

𝟭. paperwork ( 📄 )

hey, i know, guys, i'm not the first or the only one to say this, but the paperwork for erasmus is a pain in the ass. it's not only extremely complicated, but universities (mine for sure, but i know it's a common experience) provide zero help in filling out the documentation. especially if you're not familiar with bureaucracy (and at 20 it’s normal not to be familiar with these things), it can seem like an insurmountable mountain. but if i, someone who doesn’t understand anything about this stuff, managed to get through it, you can do it too. typically, the documentation includes:

various information like ID, health card, and the IBAN of an account in your name (or joint name) where they will deposit the scholarship.

learning agreement, another plague sent from hell because you usually have to deal with two professors, one from your university and one from the host university, who clearly would prefer to mop the sea than help you fill out your learning agreement.

financial agreement for the scholarship, which has specific deadlines by which you need to submit documents (usually IBAN, learning agreement, and acceptance letter from the host university). fun fact: i almost missed this and didn’t receive the scholarship because these deadlines were buried deep in my university’s website (don’t be like me, make sure to be informed well about the financial agreement or you risk being left without money).

the best advice i can give you is to find someone from your university who has already done the erasmus where you’re supposed to go and ask them for some information. they, having gone through it, know what mistakes to avoid and what’s best to do. the offices often assume too many things and give you insufficient and hasty information.

𝟮. finding an accomodation ( 🏡 )

this too, another pain in the ass. it depends on the city, but here in madrid, finding a place to live has been a nightmare (and indeed, i've significantly overshot the budget i had set for rent). you have various options for accommodation:

student dormitories these solutions may seem the best at first glance, but they aren’t always. here in madrid, the fees for the dormitories at my campus cost more than my current rent, plus having only one kitchen for an entire floor is not exactly optimal comfort, especially if, like me, you cook a lot.

apartment studio/flat this is definitely the most comfortable option, but also the most expensive. a studio outside the center in big cities can cost up to €1000 a month. however, if you can afford it and prefer privacy, then go for it. at first, living alone might not be easy, especially if it’s your first time away from family, but you’ll get through it quickly.

room in an apartment this can be the best or the worst option depending on your luck because having flatmates means cohabitation, which is not always pleasant. if you're going in erasmus with someone you know, it might be optimal to share an apartment or take two rooms in a larger flat. personally, i rented a room in an apartment with three other people (two bathrooms and a kitchen), and i couldn’t be happier; i love my flatmates, and we quickly became friends. we cook together, go out together, spend entire evenings chatting and joking and they helped me a lot overcoming the first crisis. i realize, though, that i am an exception, so choose your accommodation carefully.

in short, consider your choice based on 3 factors:

proximity to the university/public transport links i study outside of madrid, almost an hour by bus from my place, but i live practically across from the bus stop, so it’s not a problem at all.

centrality/connection to the city center you're in erasmus to experience the city!

comfort of the place such as private bathroom (very hard to find but not impossible), utensils, AC, appliances (we have a dishwasher at home, and i assure you it saves our lives everytime).

𝟯. homesickness ( 🤧 )

yes, everyone feels homesick, even the most stoic. but guarantee you, you'll get through it. first of all erasmus, fortunately or unfortunately, isn’t forever. it’s a 6 month/1 year experience that is incredibly valuable for your personal growth, at the end of this period of time, you'll be back home. secondly, you can always stay in touch with friends and family in the age of technology. those who truly love you will support you in this project and do everything they can to make you feel less lonely. lastly, during erasmus, you’ll make many amazing friendships and connections that you otherwise would never have the chance to make.

𝟰. language barrier ( 🦜 )

i can’t say much about this, i've never studied spanish in my life, but, since i'm italian, i have no trouble following the lessons and understanding people when they speak, even though i'm still not able to express myself well in this new language. however, by living in another country, you’ll learn the language much faster and more effectively than with any academic course. in just a month, i already feel much more comfortable with spanish, and everyday i learn new things.

and of course, i could talk for hours about the benefits of erasmus, but i might save my praises for a post i'll write later, towards the end of this experience.

i can tell you that in just a month here, a whole new world has opened up for me. not only is the thrill of being in another city, in another country, an electrifying flow of continuous energy, but i’ve also realized things about myself that i might have ignored before.

i have much more confidence in myself; i feel freer, less afraid of making mistakes. it’s true, i’m far from my family and friends, but this also means i’m far from all those eyes under which i always try to appear perfect.

i crave to see and learn, i'm eager to discover new things, and this drives me to do things i probably wouldn’t do in my home country, to appreciate their flavor and indulge in the uncertainty of "maybe i’ll like this".

for the first time, i’m experiencing a new country without the rose-tinted filter of a short vacation. i’ve never felt as rich and full of gratitude as i do now, and i hope this is a feeling every student can experience.

so, erasmus, yes or no? absolutely yes.

i’d love to keep updating you on my experience abroad. what do you think? would you like that? let me know in the comments! star kisses ⭐

[technoarcanist]

WAR NEVER CHANGES. BUT,

WARFARE NEVER STOPS CHANGING

"I've seen countless reasons why most mech pilots don't make the cut, but one of the largest hurdles are the physical alterations. The implants and modifications done to the fleshware is so extreme that it's enough to push most would-be pilots away from day 1.

Back in the day, when mech tech was still in its wild west years, when the technology was still in its infancy, things were different. Levers, joysticks, switches, a chair, most of the first models were something between the cockpit of a construction vehicle and a fighter ship.

Pilots in those days still consisted largely of the usual suspects. Test pilots, army jocks, space force veterans looking for something new, the occasional crazy who lucked their way up the ranks. All you needed back then was to be fit enough to work complex machinery. 'Handler's wouldn't be a coined phrase for nearly a decade. I still remember being a kid and seeing repurposed older models in the mech fighting streams.

Everything changed with the Bidirectional Cerebellum Computer Interface. To say nothing of how it changed civilian life, it was a military marvel. The BiCCI saw the creation of Mechs as we understand them today. The first generation were just retrofits, older models with a pilot's chair, and even manual controls to use in an emergency, but even then we knew that was only temporary. Before long, sleek frames of sharp angles, railguns and plasma cannons were rolling off the factory floor.

Like many things, it began small, optimising first for cockpit space by removing the manual controls. Before long, my then-supervisors thought, "Why have this glass? Why not hook the pilot's eyesight right into the advanced multi-spectral camera system? Before long, cockpits were but soft harnesses made to house a living body, their very soul wired into the machinery. Obviously, for security reasons, I cannot tell you everything about how our latest cockpits work, but suffice to say we've been further blurring the line between pilot and frame ever since.

This drew a very different crowd. Out were the army jocks and powerlifters. The only ones who even dared to have the interface hardware installed into their brainstem and spinal cord were the dispossessed, the misanthropes, those who sought not to control their new body, but to be controlled by it. No AI can work a mech properly on its own, but our pilots are never really in full control either anymore. Those who do try to go against the symbiosis get a nosebleed at best, and vegetative seizures at worst.

And that was that. The only people left who pilots these things are those who had already been broken, those who sougt a permenant reprive from being anything resembling human. A lot of my department quit around this time. I've lost a few friends over it, I'm not shy to say. Did we knew we'd be bringing in the more vulnerable people? Of course we did. But, the wheels of progress must turn, as they say, and it wasn't like we were shy of volunteers.

In our latest models, we have refined an even more advanced frame. Again, security detail prevents me from divulging too much, but one breakthrough we've made is decreasing action latency by approximately 0.02s by amputating the limbs from our pilots and replacing them with neural interface pads.

Using the pads where the limbs once were, pilots are screwed directly into the cockpit, which itself can now be 30% smaller thanks to the saved space. And, of course, we provide basic humanoid cybernetics as part of their employment contract while they are with us. Not that most of them are ever voluntarily out of their cockpits long enough to make use of them. Even removing the tubes from their orifices for routine cleaning incurs a large level of resistence.

And, yes, some of them scream, some of them break, some become so catatonic that they might as well be a peripheral processor for their mech's AI. But not a single one, not even one pilot, in all the dolls i've ever trained, have ever accepted the holidays we offer, the retirement packages, the stipends.

As you say, there are those who like to call me a monster for my work. I can see why. After all, they don't see the way my pilots' crotches dribble when I tell them I'll be cutting away their limbs, or the little moans they try to hide when we first meet and I explain that they'd forever be on the same resource level as a machine hereafter.

Those who call me a monster don't realise that, even after going public with how we operate our pilots, even after ramping up mech frame production, we still have more than twice as many volunteers as frames.

Those who call me a monster cannot accept that my pilots are far happier as a piece of meat in a machine of death than as the shell of a human they once were.

Those who call me a monster never consider the world my pilots grew up in to make them suitable candidates in the first place."

-Dr Francine Heathwich EngD

Dept. Cybernetic Technologies @ Dynaframe Industries

[In response to human rights violations accusations levied by the Pilot Rehabilitation Foundation]