#nothing in our sessions has ever hit me as hard as that

[vi-visected]

my therapist: how are you feeling in the wake of your (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis?

me: well it makes sense doesn’t it? i was the one who requested testing. like on some level i kind of figured.

my therapist: yes, i’m personally glad we pursued it because it helps me better understand parts of your behavior and how to accommodate you. but how do you feel about it? you said before that you were in heavy denial about the possibility when you were younger.

me: well yeah, i had a preconceived idea of what autism was that i know now wasn’t true. but at the time it was distressing and i didn’t want to think about it too hard.

my therapist: how was it different then? what was your idea of autism then?

me: it was, you know, severe developmental delay. i never thought i had developed abnormally at all, so to try and match up the severity i associated with autism and the way i viewed myself, i just couldn’t.

my therapist: but you did.

me: sorry?

my therapist: you did develop abnormally. both socially and academically.

me: socially yes, but i had no problems with academics. i always especially excelled at reading comprehension, more so than anyone else in my grade. i started lagging in high school but i think that was a lot of burnout and depression and ptsd, probably. i was incredibly smart. hell, i spoke in full sentences earlier than most of my peers.

my therapist: violette, that’s still abnormal development.

me: …huh?

my therapist: developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally.

me:

me: oh.

[estapa-edwards]

GROWN UP - F. NAZAR

paring: Frank Nazar x fem! reader

word count: 4.4k

requested? yes - hughes brothers realizing how much they little sister has truly grown up, and she’s dating frank and goes to michigan

warnings: use of y/n.

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Growing up in a household filled with the clatter of sticks, the thud of skates, and the camaraderie that only a shared passion can bring, my siblings and I were bound by more than just blood. Hockey wasn't just a sport to us—it was a way of life.

I have three incredible siblings: Quinn, Jack, and my twin brother, Luke. Together, we formed an unbreakable bond on and off the ice, honing our skills and nurturing our dreams of playing hockey at the highest level.

Growing up, our days were a blur of school, homework, and endless hours at the rink. Our parents were our biggest supporters, shuttling us to practices and games, cheering from the stands, and instilling in us the values of hard work, determination, and teamwork. Our house was always filled with the sounds of skates being sharpened, sticks being taped, and the excited chatter of four siblings eager to hit the ice.

Quinn, the eldest, was our fearless leader. With his natural talent and unwavering dedication, he set the bar high for the rest of us. Jack, the second oldest, was the comedian of the family, always keeping us laughing with his quick wit and infectious energy. Then there was Luke, my twin brother, my partner in crime, and my best friend.

From the moment we laced up our skates for the first time, hockey was our shared passion. We spent countless hours practicing together, pushing each other to be better, faster, stronger. Our backyard was our own personal training ground, where we would spend hours shooting pucks, practicing our passes, and perfecting our slapshots.

Our competitiveness spilled over into everything we did, from who could finish their homework the fastest to who could eat the most pancakes at breakfast. But no matter how intense our rivalries became, we always had each other's backs. We were a team, in hockey and in life, and nothing could ever break the bond we shared.

As we grew older, our dreams of playing hockey at the highest level became more and more attainable. We played on travel teams, competed in tournaments across the country, and caught the attention of scouts and coaches alike. Our hard work was paying off, and it seemed like our dreams were finally within reach.

When it came time to choose a university, Luke and I knew we wanted to continue our hockey journey together. We both had our sights set on the University of Michigan, a school with a rich hockey tradition and a reputation for developing top-tier talent. We were thrilled when we received our acceptance letters and even more excited at the prospect of playing for the Wolverines.

Our time at Michigan was everything we had hoped for and more. We were living our dream, playing the sport we loved at the collegiate level, and representing the maize and blue with pride. The competition was fierce, the games were intense, and the camaraderie among our teammates was unlike anything we had ever experienced.

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It was during our freshman year at Michigan that I met Frank Nazar, a talented forward on the men's hockey team. Frank was charismatic, charming, and incredibly passionate about the game.

Frank was known for his speed, skill, and knack for finding the back of the net. I first noticed him during one of the team's practices at the Yost Ice Arena. His effortless skating and powerful shot caught my attention, and I couldn't help but admire his talent from afar.

As fate would have it, our paths crossed one evening at a local ice rink. I was there practicing alone, working on my stickhandling and shooting, when Frank walked in. He had booked the ice for a private session, and when he saw me on the ice, he approached me with a friendly smile.

"Hey, you're Y/N Hughes, right? You and your brother are making quite an impression here," he said, extending his hand.

"Yeah, that's me," I replied with a smile. "You're Frank, right? Nice to meet you."

We struck up a conversation, bonding over our shared experiences as collegiate athletes and the challenges of juggling academics with athletics. Despite being from different teams, we found common ground and quickly developed a friendship.

One afternoon, we met up at the local ice rink for a private practice session. The rink was empty, the ice pristine and inviting. We laced up our skates and stepped onto the ice, each of us carrying a stick and a puck.

"Ready to hit the ice?" Frank asked, grinning as he twirled his stick.

"Absolutely," I replied, feeling the familiar excitement build. "Let's do some drills."

We started with some passing drills, moving the puck back and forth between us with precision and speed. Frank's passes were sharp and accurate, and I found myself challenged to keep up with his pace.

"Nice pass!" Frank exclaimed as I managed to catch one of his harder passes.

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself," I joked, feeling a sense of camaraderie and competition between us.

After the passing drills, we moved on to shooting practice. Frank set up in goal, and I took turns taking shots, aiming for the corners of the net. He was a formidable goalie, diving and stretching to block my shots, but I managed to sneak a few past him.

"Nice shot!" Frank said, nodding in approval as one of my shots sailed into the top corner of the net.

"Thanks, you're a tough goalie to beat," I replied, feeling a sense of accomplishment.

We continued to push each other, practicing our skating, stickhandling, and shooting skills. Frank was a skilled and supportive practice partner, offering tips and encouragement to help me improve my game.

As the afternoon wore on, we took a break and sat on the bench, catching our breath and chatting about hockey, school, and life in general.

"I've really enjoyed practicing with you," Frank said, looking at me with a smile. "It's been great getting to know you off the ice too."

"I feel the same way," I replied, feeling a warm sense of connection and gratitude. "You've been a great friend and practice partner."

Frank looked at me, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "So, what do you say we make this practice a little more interesting?" he suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh?" I asked, intrigued. "I'm listening."

"How about a little one-on-one competition? Loser buys coffee?" Frank proposed, a flirty grin spreading across his face.

"Challenge accepted," I replied, grinning back at him. "Prepare to lose, Nazar."

"Alright, Hughes, you ready to lose?" Frank teased as we lined up for the face-off.

"Don't get too cocky, Nazar," I shot back, smirking.

The puck dropped, and we both lunged forward, jockeying for control. Frank managed to gain possession and took off down the ice, weaving through imaginary defenders with ease.

"Show off," I called out as I chased after him, determined not to let him get too far ahead.

Frank made a sharp turn towards the net and took a shot, but I managed to block it just in time. I quickly regained control of the puck and raced back down the ice, dodging Frank's attempts to steal it from me.

"Nice try," I said, grinning as I maneuvered around him and headed towards the net.

I took a shot, aiming for the top corner of the net, but Frank made an impressive save, deflecting the puck with his stick.

"Wow, nice save," I said, impressed but not deterred.

Frank grinned. "You're not getting past me that easily."

The battle continued, each of us pushing ourselves to the limit in pursuit of victory. We exchanged shots and saves, each of us refusing to back down.

During one particularly intense moment, I managed to steal the puck from Frank and took off towards the net. Just as I was about to take my shot, Frank caught up to me and managed to knock the puck away at the last second.

"Almost had you," I said, panting slightly as we skated back to center ice.

Frank laughed, his eyes sparkling with amusement and admiration. "You're getting better every day, Hughes."

We continued to challenge each other, pushing ourselves to do our best while enjoying the friendly competition and flirty banter. The atmosphere on the ice was electric, filled with excitement, laughter, and the thrill of the game.

After what felt like hours of intense competition, Frank finally managed to score the winning goal, narrowly beating me with a well-placed shot.

"Looks like I win," he said, grinning triumphantly as we skated back to the bench.

"Congratulations," I replied, trying to hide my disappointment. "I guess I owe you coffee."

Frank chuckled. "I'll hold you to that."

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After our intense practice session, Frank and I headed to a nearby coffee shop to grab some much-needed refreshments. The atmosphere was cozy and inviting, with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.

We found a quiet corner to sit, and I went to order our drinks. When I returned to the table with our coffees, Frank was already there, looking relaxed and content.

"Got you a caramel macchiato," I said, setting his coffee in front of him.

"Thanks, you remembered," Frank replied, taking a sip and smiling appreciatively. "You know me well."

I sat down across from him and took a sip of my own coffee, enjoying the warmth and the rich, creamy flavor. We sat in comfortable silence for a moment, both of us catching our breath and enjoying the calm after our intense workout.

"So, was it worth it?" I asked, breaking the silence with a playful grin. "Losing that one-on-one competition and owing me coffee?"

Frank laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I have to admit, it was a pretty good game. And the coffee's not bad either."

We continued to chat and laugh, exchanging stories about hockey, school, and our lives outside of the rink. The conversation flowed easily between us, and I found myself enjoying Frank's company more and more.

As we talked, I couldn't help but notice how easy it was to be myself around Frank. He was kind, funny, and down-to-earth, and I felt a genuine connection with him that I hadn't felt with anyone else in a long time.

"So, Y/N," Frank said, leaning forward slightly with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Do you think we'll ever get a chance to play against each other on the ice?"

I smiled, intrigued by the idea. "Who knows? It would definitely be interesting to see how we stack up against each other in a real game."

Frank grinned. "I look forward to the challenge."

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As our friendship continued to grow, Frank and I made it a point to support each other by attending each other's games whenever our schedules allowed. It became a fun and flirty tradition between us, cheering each other on from the stands and exchanging playful banter and compliments.

After the game, I would wait for Frank outside the locker room to congratulate him on his performance.

"You were on fire out there," I would say, flashing him a flirty smile. "I knew you were going to score that last goal."

Frank would grin, clearly pleased by my praise. "Thanks, Y/N. Having you in the stands cheering for me definitely gave me that extra boost."

Unbeknownst to us, Luke had been watching from a distance, a proud smile on his face as he observed the camaraderie between his twin sister and his teammate.

"Look at you two," Luke would say, joining us with a teasing grin. "You'd think you were on a date, not at a hockey game."

Frank chuckled, giving Luke a friendly nudge. "Hey, a little support from the stands goes a long way."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't hide my own smile. "Well, it looks like it worked. You played great tonight, Frank."

Luke looked at us, his eyes twinkling with pride. "I'm glad you two are getting along so well. It's nice to see my sister happy and enjoying herself."

I smiled at Luke, touched by his supportive words. "Thanks, Luke. Frank's been a great friend and practice partner."

Frank nodded in agreement. "And Y/N's been an amazing friend and teammate. I couldn't ask for a better practice partner or cheerleader."

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One evening after a particularly intense practice, Frank approached me with an invitation from the boys' team.

"Hey, Y/N," Frank said, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "A few of the guys from the team are getting together at our place tonight for a movie night. Would you like to join us?"

I hesitated for a moment, but Frank's friendly smile reassured me. "Sure, that sounds like fun."

When I arrived at Frank's house, I was greeted warmly by the team. The atmosphere was relaxed and welcoming, and I immediately felt at ease. Frank led me to the living room, where the others had already started setting up for the movie.

As the evening progressed, I found myself sitting next to Frank on the couch, our shoulders brushing against each other as we settled in to watch the movie. The rest of the team had scattered around the room, engrossed in the film and munching on popcorn.

As the movie played on, I felt Frank's arm casually drape around my shoulder. I looked up at him, and he gave me a gentle smile, his eyes meeting mine with a hint of warmth and affection.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that we weren't the only ones being watched. Luke, Luca, Mark, Rutger, Ethan, and Dylan were all stealing glances at us from across the room, their expressions a mix of amusement and curiosity.

I couldn't help but smile to myself, feeling a little self-conscious but also flattered by their playful scrutiny. I looked over at Luke, who gave me a knowing nod and a thumbs-up, clearly approving of my newfound friendship with Frank.

Luca winked at me, while Mark and Rutger exchanged amused glances. Ethan and Dylan just grinned, clearly entertained by the unfolding scene.

Despite the playful teasing from the rest of the team, Frank and I remained focused on each other, enjoying the comfort and closeness of our shared moment. We continued to watch the movie, our hands finding each other's as we cuddled on the couch.

As the credits rolled and the movie came to an end, Frank squeezed my hand gently and looked down at me with a soft smile.

"Thanks for coming tonight, Y/N," he said, his voice filled with warmth and sincerity. "I had a great time."

I smiled back at him, feeling a warm sense of connection and gratitude. "Me too, Frank. It was a fun night."

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As the play-offs approached, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. The stakes were high, and I was eager to share the experience with Frank. I knew he was a big hockey fan, and I wanted him to be there to support me and my brothers as we competed in the most important games of the season.

"Hey, Frank," I said one day after practice, trying to sound casual despite the butterflies in my stomach. "My brothers have a big play-off game coming up, and I was wondering if you'd like to come and watch with me?"

Frank's eyes lit up at the invitation, but I could see a hint of nervousness in his expression. "I'd love to come, Y/N," he replied, his voice tinged with excitement and apprehension. "But are you sure your brothers will be okay with it? I mean, I've heard a lot about them, and they seem pretty protective."

I laughed, understanding Frank's concern. "Don't worry, they're not that bad," I reassured him, though I couldn't help but smile at the thought of my older brothers' protective tendencies. "They'll love you, I promise."

On the day of the game, Frank and I arrived at the arena early to find seats and soak in the atmosphere. The excitement in the air was palpable, and I couldn't wait for the game to begin.

As the players took to the ice for warm-ups, I spotted Quinn and Jack on the ice, their focus and determination evident in every move they made. I felt a swell of pride watching them, knowing how hard they had worked to get to this point.

As the game got underway, Frank and I settled into our seats, cheering loudly for my brothers and their respective teams. The atmosphere in the arena was electric, with fans on the edge of their seats as the game unfolded.

During intermissions, Frank and I chatted and laughed, enjoying each other's company and the thrill of the game. Despite his initial nervousness, Frank seemed to be having a great time, and I could see him getting more and more into the game as it progressed.

As the final minutes of the game ticked away, the tension in the arena reached a fever pitch. The game was tied, and every shot and save was met with cheers and groans from the crowd.

In the end, Quinn's team managed to score the winning goal, securing their spot in the next round of the play-offs. The arena erupted in cheers, and I jumped to my feet, cheering and clapping as I celebrated my brother's victory.

After the game, I led Frank to the locker room to meet Quinn and Jack. I could see the nerves return to Frank's face as we approached, but I gave him a reassuring smile, confident that my brothers would like him.

"Quinn, Jack, this is Frank," I said, introducing them with a proud smile. "Frank, these are my brothers, Quinn and Jack."

Quinn and Jack greeted Frank warmly, their expressions friendly and welcoming. I could see Frank visibly relax as they shook hands and exchanged greetings.

"Nice to meet you, Frank," Quinn said, his voice friendly as he clapped Frank on the shoulder. "Y/N's told us a lot about you."

Jack nodded in agreement, giving Frank a friendly smile. "Yeah, it's great to finally meet you. Thanks for coming to the game."

Frank smiled back, visibly relieved and grateful for their warm welcome. "It was my pleasure," he replied, his voice steady despite his earlier nerves. "You both played an amazing game."

As we left the arena, Frank and I walked hand in hand, both of us buzzing with excitement and relief. The evening had been a success, and I couldn't have been happier.

"See, I told you they'd like you," I said, grinning up at Frank as we made our way to the car.

Frank chuckled, squeezing my hand affectionately. "Yeah, they're not so bad," he admitted, his eyes meeting mine with a warm and genuine smile.

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Although Frank and I hadn't officially put a label on our relationship, our actions spoke louder than words. We acted like a couple in every sense of the word, sharing a bond that was deep and genuine. Our interactions were filled with affection, playfulness, and a mutual understanding that made our connection undeniable.

One of the most noticeable aspects of our relationship was our frequent displays of affection. We kissed all the time, whether it was a quick peck on the lips, a lingering kiss that spoke volumes about our feelings for each other, or a playful smooch that left us both laughing and smiling.

Whether we were at the rink, out for coffee, or simply spending time together at home, our kisses were a natural and spontaneous expression of our affection for each other. It was a way for us to connect, to show our love and appreciation, and to remind each other of the special bond we shared.

Our interactions were also filled with a playful and flirty banter that kept our relationship fun and exciting. We teased each other, exchanged playful remarks, and shared inside jokes that only we understood. This playful dynamic added a lighthearted and joyful element to our relationship, making our time together even more enjoyable.

Despite the casual and relaxed nature of our relationship, there was a deep and genuine connection between us that went beyond mere friendship. We supported each other, celebrated each other's successes, and were there for each other during the tough times. Our relationship was built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding, making it clear to everyone around us that we were more than just friends.

Despite the playful and sometimes cheeky remarks from our teammates about how Frank and I acted around each other, we never let it bother us. Hockey locker rooms are known for their banter and chirping, and our teammates were no different when it came to teasing us about our close relationship.

"Hey Y/N, did you bring your boyfriend to practice again?" one of the guys would say with a smirk, earning a round of chuckles from the team.

Frank and I would just exchange a knowing glance and shrug it off with a laugh. We didn't feel the need to justify our relationship to anyone. We knew the strength of our connection, and that was all that mattered to us.

During practice, our competitiveness would sometimes spill over into playful one-on-one battles, much to the amusement of our teammates.

"Watch out, Frank, Y/N's going to school you!" Luke would shout from the sidelines, as Frank and I faced off against each other during a drill.

We'd exchange playful banter and flirty remarks as we battled it out on the ice, pushing each other to do our best while embracing the friendly competition between us.

After practice, the chirping would continue as we headed to the locker room to change.

"Y/N, is that a new cologne I smell, or is that just Frank?" one of the guys would tease, eliciting a chorus of laughter from the team.

Frank and I would just roll our eyes and laugh it off, not letting the playful teasing affect our relationship or the way we felt about each other.

Our ability to laugh at ourselves and not take the chirping too seriously was a testament to the strength and confidence we had in our relationship. We didn't feel the need to conform to anyone else's expectations or standards. We were comfortable being ourselves, both on and off the ice, and that was all that mattered to us.

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After weeks of growing closer and spending more and more time together, Frank and I found ourselves at our favorite coffee spot near the university campus. The atmosphere was relaxed, and the conversation flowed easily between us, just like it always did.

As we sat across from each other, sipping our coffees and chatting about everything from hockey to our future plans, I could sense a shift in the air. There was a new tension, a palpable sense of something more between us, and I could tell that Frank was feeling it too.

Finally, after a moment of silence, Frank took a deep breath and looked me directly in the eyes, his expression serious but warm.

"Y/N, there's something I've been meaning to ask you," he began, his voice tinged with a hint of nervousness.

I looked at him, my heart pounding in my chest as I waited for him to continue.

"Would you like to go out with me? Like, on a real date?" he asked, his eyes searching mine for a response.

A smile spread across my face as I felt a wave of happiness and relief wash over me. I had been hoping he would ask, but hearing the words out loud made it all the more real.

"I would love to, Frank," I replied, my voice filled with genuine excitement and happiness. "I've been waiting for you to ask."

Frank's face lit up with a bright smile, and I could see the relief and happiness in his eyes as he reached across the table to take my hand.

"Really? That's great, Y/N," he said, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "I've been wanting to ask you for a while now, but I was nervous about how you would react."

I laughed, squeezing his hand affectionately. "Well, you didn't have anything to worry about. I've been hoping you would ask."

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A few years down the line, our relationship had flourished and grown stronger with each passing day. Frank had been drafted to the Chicago Blackhawks, and I was playing for a PWHL team, pursuing our dreams while supporting each other every step of the way.

As our love and commitment to each other deepened, Frank knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He decided it was time to take the next big step and ask for my hand in marriage.

One weekend, Frank made plans to visit my family to seek their blessing. He was understandably nervous, knowing how close-knit and protective my family was. Luke, Quinn, and Jack had watched me grow up, and they had seen firsthand the love and bond that had developed between Frank and me.

Arriving at my family's home, Frank was greeted warmly by my parents and siblings. The atmosphere was relaxed and welcoming, but the tension was palpable as Frank prepared to ask the most important question of his life.

After dinner, Frank took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest as he turned to my parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hughes, I love Y/N more than anything in this world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her," he began, his voice filled with sincerity and emotion. "I'm here today to ask for your blessing to marry her."

My parents exchanged a glance, their eyes softening as they looked at Frank, recognizing the love and devotion in his eyes.

"We've watched Y/N and Frank's relationship grow and flourish over the years," my mother said, her voice filled with warmth and affection. "It's clear to us how much you love and care for each other, and we couldn't be happier for you both."

My father nodded in agreement, placing a supportive hand on Frank's shoulder.

"You have our blessing, Frank," he said, his voice steady and firm. "We've always known that you would be a good match for Y/N, and we're confident that you will take care of her and cherish her for the rest of your lives together."

Tears of happiness welled up in Frank's eyes as he thanked my parents, feeling a sense of relief and joy wash over him.

[danikamariewrites]

Loved ‘My North Star’ so much!! Now I can’t stop thinking about Cassian with a mate who can wipe the floor with him in combat and he’s like wtf? I have met my match (or superior in this case). If you write a part 2 (which I hope you do!) could you include that? Or write a seperate story?

When The Nightmare Feels Real

Cassian x reader

A/n: So I wanted to write this as the part two originally but I thought adding Cassian’s view of how strong reader is would be good to. Again, thank you for all the love on My North Star! It’s definitely one of my favorite fics I’ve written. I’m very proud of that one.

Warnings: nightmares, worries, and some fluff

Ever since you landed in Velaris Cassian has been amazed by you. He has met his match yet his equal with you. You are everything he has ever wanted in partner. The last year with you has been amazing.

You’re adventurous and strong. But there are times when you haven’t loved your new home. Adjusting to Velaris was hard. As much as you hated your life and siblings, you did miss your home.

Lately you’ve been going through one of those phases where your nightmares were too much. Sleep was impossible once you woke up. Too many times Cassian has found you on the roof staring at the stars. A longing look in your eyes.

He was too scared to do anything but sit there with you. Cassian yearned to pick you up, holding you to his chest as he brought you as close to the stars as possible.

Tonight was one of those nights. Except tonight you weren’t on the roof. Cassian had sensed you up in the training ring. When he pushed open on the door he spotted you fully dressed in your Illyrian leathers that you fixed some of your armor to.

Making as much noise as he could Cassian came to lay down next to you. Your jaw was clenched so tight Cassian could hear your teeth grinding together. You were gripping your hands so tight your knuckles were stark white. It broke Cassian’s heart to see you like this. To see his girl, so strong and sure of herself, become unsure and question herself and abilities.

“What if they come true one day?” Your voice barely above a whisper. “What if he does find this place that I love so much like in my nightmares? And what if I can’t do anything to save you? Or the rest of the family.” A tear slid from the corner of your eye into your hairline.

Cassian sat up, smoothly pulling you on to his lap, smoothing down your hair. “That won’t happen y/n. I’d never let him or anyone hurt you Angel. And no one. No. One. Is taking me from you. That’s a promise.”

You feel his rough fingers gently caress your chin, pulling you to look up at him. “I can fight. Our family can fight. You, my fearless warrior, can fight like I have never seen before. There isn’t a doubt in my mind you couldn’t protect me.” Another silent tear falls down your face.

Cassian wipes them from the apples of your cheeks. He stands, holding out his hand for you. “Get up,” he said softly. You gently place your hand in his calloused one.

As soon as you stand Cassian pulls away getting into a ready fighting position. You shoot him a questioning look. “You wanna do this now?” “Yeah! I’m trying to prove a point babe. Let’s go!” He starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, punching the air.

You shake your head at him getting in your own ready stance. Cassian nods and you nod back signaling the start of your sparring session.

You felt alive and alert. Sparring with Cassian always made you feel better. He knows all the ways to push you to be the best fighter.

Once you had Cassian pinned your scowl turned into a smirk. His point finally hitting home. If you could take down the General of the Night Court you could surely you could take down Castor. With Cassian and the rest of your family standing with you nothing would harm you.

[bunmurdock]

spotted pigeons and telepathic dog walkers | matt murdock x oralfixation!reader

summary: combined three inbox requests! (1) “sucking matt’s fingers for comfort” + (2) “having a bad day; matt lets you curl up in his lap while he whispers sweet nothings” + (3) “matt x oral fixation!reader; he would love how needy/clingy she is and oblige her with his fingers.” tags: humor, fluff, daddy!matt, use of a pet name (“pup”) word count: 918

“shh, there you go, sweetheart,” matt whispers. 

you're curled up in his lap. his thumb nudges its way between your parted lips, a gesture so deeply rooted in your shared moments of comfort. his skin tastes of the day's work, a hint of soap and something uniquely matt, and it grounds you, pulls you back from the edge of your anxieties.

“someone was a little firecracker today, hm? got all worked up, and now look at you, quiet as a mouse.” you suckle on his finger, cheeks puffing adorably. 

he laughs softly. “ah, there's that pout. knew it wouldn't be long.”

matt shifts, caressing your cheek with his other fingers. “let's see if we can't find a better use for that pout, hm?” his free arm reaching over to the nearby bluetooth speaker. soft, instrumental music fills the room.

“music to soothe the savage beast,” he quips, the laughter around his eyes crinkling with something more tender. he rocks you gently, the movement subtle but comforting. “or in our case, to soothe the sweetest pup in the world.”

~

“you know, i was thinking. maybe we should go birdwatching like you suggested. you and me, out in the park at dawn, and you can tell me when you see the rare... spotted pink pigeon.”

the absurdity of the statement, delivered with such faux seriousness, is enough to draw a reluctant smile from you.

“spotted pink pigeon doesn't exist, pup, but if it did, i’m sure it'd be as unique and lovely as you.”

he leans back against the couch, taking you with him. the question he's been pondering dances at the tip of his tongue, a gentle inquiry meant to bridge the silence that has settled between you.

“which, speaking of, we’ve been debating at the office. how would you feel about a little office mascot? foggy and kar—”

before he can continue, he feels your body tense slightly, the shift so subtle only someone as attuned to you as matt could notice. the question hangs in the air, unfinished, as he tunes into your reaction. there's a stillness about you, a hesitation that speaks volumes to him.

“ah,” he whispers, a gentle kiss pressed to the top of your head. “not the time for decisions, huh? that's okay. let's get your mind off of things.”

he shifts slightly, making sure you're nestled comfortably against him. 

“so. you’re not going to believe this. today, foggy brought in this client—mr. boetticher. a guy who claims he's developed a 'revolutionary' method to walk dogs telepathically. says he can control up to ten dogs at a time with just his mind.”

“and karen decided we should test this guy's claim. so, there we were, in the middle of central park, with foggy holding onto five leashes, more scared than i've ever seen him, and this guy concentrating so hard i thought he might burst a blood vessel.”

“of course, nothing happened. well, nothing except for the dogs deciding it was the perfect time to chase after a squirrel, taking foggy on a little unexpected adventure.”

matt pauses, feeling the vibrations of your giggles against his chest. “and then later, there's frank castle,” he continues, the smile evident in his voice. “dropped by today. turns out he has a soft spot for old jazz records,” he smirks. “walked in on him and karen having an impromptu dance session in the middle of the office.” 

“really?” you murmur around his thumb, eyes wide.

“mhm. when i walked in, never seen someone jump up so fast. tried to act all tough, like he hadn’t just been serenading karen with louis armstrong's greatest hits.”

your giggle fills the room, warm and hearty, as he continues. “but the highlight of the day? the office itself. ever since we moved to the new place, it's been one adventure after another. and today was no exception.”

“we've been dealing with this... let's call it a 'haunted' coffee machine. turns out, foggy was convinced it had a mind of its own. would randomly start brewing in the middle of meetings.”

you let out a soft snort, the image of foggy arguing with a coffee machine too vivid in your imagination.

“so today, karen had enough. she declared war on the coffee machine. it was a scene to behold, pup. karen, armed with the user manual, foggy providing moral support from a safe distance, and me, well, enjoying the show.”

your laughter is muffled against his chest, the silly image of the trio taking on an inanimate object a welcome distraction. 

“guess what?” matt's voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “took them three days to figure out foggy had been accidentally hitting the delayed start button with his elbow every time he leaned on the counter.”

your laughter bubbles up again, filling the room with warmth, and a look of pure fondness crosses matt’s face, a look reserved only for you. 

“but you know, the best part of today?” he continues, “was coming back to you, knowing that no matter how crazy the day gets, i've got a crazier little pup waiting for me—”

you bite down on his finger.

“ouch! alright alright. ah—no teeth.”

~

“so, how about we plan a day out? just you and me,” he teases gently, tilting your chin up to meet his smile with one of your own—even if he can’t see it, he feels it. “think of it as our little adventure, away from the stress and chaos. what do you say, pup?”

[sturn-wrld]

🪼first time

pairing: matt x virgin reader

summary: where reader is ready to have sex with matt.

genre: SMUT (don't like? dni!)

warnings: p in v, nicknames, idk what else someone tell me

a/n: i actually kinda like this. i didn't really hit what the request was looking for but i might make another version of this!

masterlist

---------------------------------------------------------

matt and I have been together for close on 7 months and it has been nothing short of incredible. he is so caring and thoughtful and does everything in his power to make me feel loved. despite these facts, i feel as if there is something missing in our relationship. i know there is something missing and i know what it is. we've never had sex. i mean, i've never had sex at all.

matt and i have had our passionate make out sessions which even lead to him finding out that i'm a virgin.

matt and i smash lips roughly as he brings his hands from the back of my thighs to my ass and i slightly press into him feeling my effect on him. he slowly flips us so that i'm now laid down on his pillows and he is over the top of me, kissing down my neck. he slowly brings his hands up the front of my thighs and under my shirt, but right before he could put his hands on my chest i stop him. "matt" i say abruptly. he looks to me confused and worried not sure what he was doing wrong. "what beautiful?" he says softening his face as he slides his hands out from my shirt. "i've never done anything past this point" he looks to me blinking, not saying a word. "do you want to do anything past this" he runs his fingertips up and down my arm supporting anything i'm about to say. "i mean eventually, yes and of course with you but i'm not sure if today is the day though" i say looking down and back up to his face. his face is mellow and content. "and that's okay my love. i will be ready to help you through it anytime, you just say the word" he says connecting our lips again, this time it's soft and compassionate.

it's been 1 month since our first time talking about it and i have been so eager to do something since that point. something about his nonjudgmental, supportive nature makes me want to be underneath him so much more.

it is yet another day where matt and i have self imprisoned ourselves to his bedroom while i straddle his lap and he runs his hands up and down my back.

i start to roll my hips over his trying to cause some friction to pleasure myself just a little bit. he starts to frown as i do this patting me slip my tongue into his mouth. he slowly attains dominance in the kiss deepening it even further until he suddenly stops. "if we keep going i don't know if i'll be able to stop myself" he says with his red, swollen lips and his glassy eyes. "what if i don't want to stop?" i ask just wanting to pleasure my aching core. he looks at me now with a new hunger from my words. "are you sure gorgeous? we don't have to if you don't want to." he says searching my eyes for any questions or concerns. "i really want to matt. like really want to"

he chuckles at my enthusiasm as he connects out lips again with a different attitude. he then flips us to the same position i confessed my secret to him not even one month ago. he starts to kiss down my neck as he litters me with compliments, them progressively becoming more dirty.

"your so beautiful" "your body is perfect" "you make me so hard"

he slips his hands to the edge of my t-shirt when he sticks his head up again. "can i take this off pretty girl?" i nod my head fast to signify my strong want. "i need words sexy" i stare up at him not wanting this to ever end. "please matt" i say begging him to continue.

"good girl"

this drove me crazy. as soon as he finishes taking my shirt off he grab the back of his head and connect our lips as i rub myself into him again. "you're so desperate beautiful" he says pulling off his own shirt. "i just really need you" i say wanting to move faster "is that right gorgeous?" he says amused as i nod. "alright then. we are going to go as slow as possible." i look at him with a certain look in my eyes. "you're kidding right?" my impatient nature coming into play.

"oh of course" he says as he grips my pants and underwear to leave me completely naked, before standing himself. he ya is his pants down leaving him in his boxers as he walks towards his dresser opening a drawer. he pulls a condom from the small drawer before pulling his boxers down to reveal his hard on.

he is so much bigger than i thought he would be. and his width makes me drool. he slowly struts towards me, ripping the condom open before he reaches the bed again and kneeling in front of me. he places my legs around his waist before rolling on the condom and lining himself up with my entrance.

"this might hurt a little but tell me if i'm too rough" he says before running his hand down my face and body, landing on my hip. he slowly pushes himself inside of me causing me to moan a throaty moan i didn't know i was capable of. "you're so tight" he says gripping my hip tighter. i look down to see him only half in despite me feeling completely full. "it's not going to fit handsome" i say as he looks to my face. "we'll make it fit"

and make it fit we do. he continues to push into me as he brings his second hand to my other hip. "tell me when it doesn't hurt" he says in between deep breathes. rubbing his hand up my torso toward my tits. he rolls his fingertip over my nipple causing me to loosen myself from my unknown stiffness.

"please move matt" i say as he pulls himself almost all of the way out at a painfully slow pace before going back in at the same slow pace. "please move faster handsome" i whimpering between moans. "are you sure baby? tell me if i hurt you okay?" i nod in agreement before he fastens his pace before he is roughly gripping my hips and fucking me senseless, causing me to scream out multiple profanities. oh my fuck matt being the main one.

i feel the unknown feeling start to build in my stomach and my pussy clench around matt concluding i'm going to cum soon. "keep going" i scream and he goes even faster, adjusting himself, him now hitting my g-spot. i moan even louder now. "right there baby?" he questions as he looks down at me "my beautiful girl loves that doesn't she?" he asks looking at me knowingly. i nod in agreement now seconds away from my release. "words beautiful, come on" he says thrusting even faster.

"yes! yes! so much." i scream about to release. "cum for me my beautiful girl. i can feel your close" as he says that i feel the knot release as my body tenses and i grip the comforter below me. "yeah like that beautiful, all over me" he says as i fell from the high i just experienced.

"did you-" he shakes his head before i can even finish my sentence.

"tonight was about you. i'll just jack off thinking about that later or something"

tags

@byechristopher @blahbel668 @sturnz-21 @ermdontmindthisaccount @its-jennarose @ilovemattsturn @frozenvegitableoil @meme2003 @thetriplets3 @nickmillersn1gf

[littlekohai77]

Can you write some headcanons about kayden break x gojo reader?

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗 :)

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: a bit toxic, not proofread, kinda rushed.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

Honestly, it's a huge blow for him. A blow to the ego.

He's as we know is the most narcissistic piece of shit on the face of earth.

But our dear reader, the stronger, if not, the strongest awakened the world has ever seen is a much much bigger narcissist with an ego as big as the Mount Everest.

It's humbling for him.

He can't even remember the last time he lost a fight. But against you, even his knees shake.

You guy's love was a slow burn.

You were first just another person who was goofy and made him laugh who he liked being around more than he would like to admit.

But after getting ambushed on while with you, he got the first taste of your limitless power.

It was like he'd been blasted with a bucket of ice water in a drowsy morning.

The pure power. He could feel it in his veins. And he wasn't even the one being hit.

The first time he saw your spacial isolation, he was in aww and quite jealous.

Normal and generally spacial isolations tend to be a closed off area from the real world that's a complete replica of it.

But yours is nothing like that. Yours seems to be fabricated by imagination. It's like your own little world. It's akin to a galaxy but it contains no stars. It's keeps on going and going. When inside of it, he has to be touching you in some sort of way or he will fade away.

Moving in it is difficult too. The environment is dense and heavy. It's hard to breathe in all this pressure and even harder to move. But you seen to be bouncing round like it's nothing.

He couldn't deny. He felt envious. He's trained so hard and so much to achieve what he is now and yet he sees another that's not trained that much and yet has powers wayy beyond his.

It feels unfair. He begs to spar. For you to hit him again and again. Even as he's bleeding and you're staring back at him solemnly he spits at your feet, it's mostly blood though, and yells with his last breath "COME ON!! ! ! DON'T STOP NOW!! WHAT YOU TOO AFRAID OF BREAKING ME?? IS THAT IT YOU FUCKER?? WELL I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!!! "

When you extend your hand to help him up, he smacks it away. And stands up by himself before limping away.

After training he creates his spacial isolation. He tinkers with it, twists it, tries to create new things in it, but it can't even compare to yours.

He disappears for a while. No where to be found. No one knows of his whereabouts. Not even Kartein.

You didn't care that much at first but now you're starting to get worried as his disappearance hits the 3 month mark.

And then suddenly boom. Bitch is back. And he's back and acting like nothing happened. Like he didn't just leave you hanging.

But there is a change in him, he now insults you more than he used to. And it's... Not really friendly sounding.

You start to grow confused day by day and eventually resort to getting help from Jiwoo, his apprentice.

And boy oh boy. The little baby is as confused as you. But after a combined session of brainstorming, you finally come up with something that.... Might work.

The next morning, at the crack of dawn. You offer to spar with Kayden and surprisingly he takes it.

It doesn't take long before he's on top of you and has you pinned down. But he knows this is false. A false victory. He feels that you're holding back. And he screams at your face to stop being pathetic and fight him.

"But isn't this what you wanted? "

You say, somberly. Not even a hint of playfulness in your tone. Your eyes lacking it's ususal shine.

It's like he's reached a sort of new enlightenment.

It's like he has just realized how much his words and actions have been affecting you. How you've started to hold back in order to make him feel like he's achieved what he once had. Just to appease him and get back what you two once had between yourselves. The camaraderie, the mutual fondness, the unspoken feelings bubbling under the surface.

He sheds a tear. Lip trembling as he bites it hard and apologizes. You stare back as the salty droplets land on your cheeks.

Everything seems to be back to normal again. You guys are back to fighting, bantering, bickering. Kicking each other in bed.

It starts to become more intimate. As you guys begin to get closer and closer. Suddenly hugging each other feels normal.

Suddenly sleeping in the same bed doesn't feel weird.

Suddenly when your hands touch, both of you instinctively intertwine them.

Nobody confessed. The first kiss didn't happen but... The relationship just kinda... Happened?

It took years of hanging out together and being around each other every day before Kartein pointed it out and you two began to really question

"What are we? ”

[reides]

today is the FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the dnd campaign that i am a member of...!! so you know that a long rambling post is 100% in order.

five years ago, i played dnd for the very first time. (the date on that post says the 16th but that's because we played for like a billion hours and it went past midnight. because of course it did.) i remember being so, so nervous about it bc i seriously knew next to nothing about dnd. i had never watched any tabletop shows or anything and i was pretty much totally new to improv. i had no idea what a d20 was. i wish i was kidding. i truly just dived right in there. (fitting, i guess, since the character i play is a triton... LMFAO).

i'm so glad that decided to try it out regardless bc it has paid off in ways that i can't even begin to express fully... this campaign has accompanied me through so many life events - both the good and the bad - and i cherish each and every one of our Merry Band of Misfits' adventures. even when shit hit the fan and encounters got tense or chaotic in some form, it ended up making for some absolutely wonderful memories. i'm so glad that that reides - my lil blue fish lad!!! - is a member of the champions valoris.

reides is a character who is extremely near & dear to my heart and he has really awakened a creative side of me during these past five years. i always strive to be a player who can live up to him and do his character the justice that it deserves. even 'beyond' the campaign, i have so much fun writing stuff related to him, making crafts related to him, coming up with art ideas for him and getting comms of him... simply rotating him in my mind. you know how it is. really, i think it's impossible to sum up what reides means to me because he's just... REIDES!!! (also, peep the original token i had for him vs his current one... so cute. just so cute.) i seriously love all of the stuff that everyone else at the table makes for their own characters, too! playing pretend with your friends is fr one of the most healing experiences ever; we all gently feed off each other's creativity in such a lovely way. the passion we all have for our respective characters and the overall setting of the campaign is infectuous, and that passion - coupled with a whole lot of hard (yet fun!!!) work - has made for a story that is nothing short of legendary.

so i just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude and say that i am honored to share a table with these incredibly creative individuals who have saved me in so many ways!!! big shoutouts to my fellow player, @mintflavoredwindows, who plays kilwin, the EXTREMELY blessed (teehee cleric joke) blond lad standing next to reides in that little chibi line-up of our characters (and who also takes the time to write AMAZING!!!!!! session synopses which all of us read time and time again; they are fr a lifesaver not to mention an immortalization of everything we've been through), our dungeon master of legend, @killdragons, who puts a TON of effort into the campaign setting as a whole and was the person who offered me a position in the campaign to begin with, @brewswain who has accompanied us on tons of different arcs with his absolutely incredible array of characters AND @sangre who has guest starred with his lovely miré (AND WHO HAS SUPPORTED THE CAMPAIGN SOOO MUCH IN GENERAL i love talking abt alethustria with you bree)!!! nathan (who plays jorah) and cj (who plays ashara and played slumberjack during the first season of the campaign) aren't on tumblr dot com so i can't give their urls a little shout-out in this post, but i'm still going to restate that being able to share in this adventure with them - both in-character and out-of-character - has been fucking incredible. the adventurers formerly known as the pog champions are eternal. viva la champions valoris. etc etc etc.

i also want to thank everyone who's supported reides / the campaign as a whole on the sidelines, bc you guys are absolutely amazing. and i can't possibly post this without showing off our lovely campaign wiki. bc it's iconic.

thanks everyone :') so excited for future adventures!!!

[equallyshaw]

blindsided, quinn hughes x singer au !

link to social media edit:

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 2.3K

little backstory, so unnamed singer and quinn got married when they were both 19 after being together for 3 years, right before he left for vancouver. singer is a wellknown and very popular singer/songwriter who has graced the stage of almost every award show and movie premiere possible. the two met in toronto before the hughes moved to michigan, and before she moved back home to Nashville. She then moved to Chicago to be closer to him when he went to umich. right before he was about to leave for a full year in vancouver, the two eloped and up until summer 2022 were together. after four years (seven years altogether) of bliss and pain, the singer is hitting back at quinn's letter to her through her new song.

. ────── ･

Were you on the other line or driving in your car?

Were you hiding upstairs or playing your guitar?

Was there nothing ever wrong, 'cause you were always right?

Tell me, were you blindsided or were you just blind?

. ────── ･

in quinn's letter to me after we divorced, explained that he had not known when we had lost eachother. he hadn't known that i was feeling that way or that the conversations i had tried to have were from a deep and hurt part of me. he said he never knew that i was feeling this way, and i know why. quinn had not been there two years after we married, like i had for him. i went to all the games, even when i really wanted to say 'fuck you' and leave canada and go home. yet, i stayed. thats it. i stayed, even when it broke me beyond anything i had ever felt before.

. ────── ･

And now you're saying that you're lost, and that's lost on me

Years of sitting across from me in therapy

I know the truth is hard to hear, but it wasn't hard to find

Baby, were you blindsided or were you just blind?

. ────── ･

i remember sitting across from him in 2021, right after we had landed in vancouver for the upcoming season, and would not look at me. he wouldn't respond to me the way he had always. his eyes used to twinkled with wonder and amazement every time he responded or looked at me. i knew then that something was wrong, and that he was slipping from my fingers. i was losing him, and i didn't know how long i had been before that. and now he's saying he doesn't know when he lost 'us'. oh babe, i can show you the picture i took the moment we settled in for the night. i remember the moment i suggested therapy, and you looked at me as if i had two heads. that simple comment turned into a fight that left me in tears. which conveniently, was right before the toronto film festival and left me sleeping on the couch. but we will come back to that. i remember sitting in our first therapy session, and somehow someway everything was my fault. then the therapist gave me a chance to speak to him, and for once able to get everything off my chest that had been weighing on it for months. he looked as if he had just gotten beaten up by nathan mackinnon or ryan reaves, anybody at that point. it looked as if he was in disbelief, that somebdoy he 'loved' dearly would say. though, i never said anything hateful, just stuff i had noticed over time. but he did not want to hear that, he didn't. so afterwards he continued to be the old 'perfect' quinn that he was, he did make an effort for a few months before crushingly being eliminated from the 2022 playoffs. we flew back home to michigan, where our new lake house awaited with jack. though, as soon as i stepped into a surprise birthday party for me, ellen could tell that i wanted to be anywhere but there. she saw the nervous faces and nervous ticks clear as day. so as soon as i caught a breathe upstairs, she followed. i told her that i couldn't do it anymore, and that i was leaving her son. she held me as i sobbed, not knowing if i was going to actually leave him or not. to her and jim, i loved quinn and he loved me. though, that was far from the truth. she thought i was just saying it like i had did the summer before.

i left the next day, around 6 am when jack was waking up. he saw the suitcases i had by the door as i was loading them into a uber. jack walked outside with a coffee mug in hand, sipping and watching before i noticed him. "shit!" i seethed, holding a hand to my chest. jack had rolled the last suitcase out for me, and we looked at one another before speaking. "you'll be back." jack said and i shook my head. "no, i wont jack. he doe-doesn't love me anymore." she said and he shook his head. "the way he talks about you says something else." jack said so dead set on keeping me here. "no he doesn't. he doesn't even talk to me jack. hasn't for months. you wanna know why i haven't released a song in how long? because i don't leave the house, i don't hang out with people, i don't do anything because ive been trying to be the perfect wife for him in hopes that'd he say something or thank me. but the only way he thanked me was sleeping with a friend from nashville in our penthouse, that i brought." i said before handing the bag to the uber driver, and slipped in the sleek audi. as we drove off, i saw the shocked jack hughes stand there. he hadn't known.

. ────── ･

I'd go write a song and you'd go for a walk

We had to get drunk to ever really talk

I told you what I needed, didn't have to read my mind

. ────── ･

feburary of 2022, i had begun writing my previous album "just a few thoughts" about some feelings i had been having recently, and wrote songs in a way that could be a million different things. when i wrote the first song, i smiled and quickly went to go find him hoping he was in our room so i could put it by him. that was how it had always been, i write a song he listens. but i couldn't find him, and he told me that night that he went out for a drive to brocks. two days later, he left again. and then as i continued to write the album that month, he kept leaving. to god know's where to. i smiled through it, i smiled through the tears that i had whenver he was around. i smiled through the tears when we were with his teammates. i smiled through the lonely nights in bed, when he was and was not there. when i brought it up around april, once he had not made the playoffs, he screamed at me. telling me that he just didn't want to hear my music anymore. it had felt as if the world was breaking beneath me and that my heart was going with it. the very first time we met, and laid eyes on one another we had been at a music festival in toronto, where i was performing some of my songs at the time. that was one of the things he adored about me, was my music and the way i could write and harmonize. and do the 'singing thing i do' he always called it.

prior to that, it seemed as though everytime i wanted to talk, we had to get drunk. and then when we'd get drunk we'd fight and yell and then wakeup as strangers. then we'd go to bed strangers on and on, until he wanted to be lovey dovey to have sex. and so everytime we'd 'talk' he wouldn't listen to me. he would continue on with his day or night, and just blow me off. it just so happened that one time, brock and his girlfriend had come over one time during it, and were shocked to find us at this state. they had believed that we were the shit, that we just oozed love and adoration for one another. but we know that to be far from the truth.

. ────── ･

And now you're saying that you're lost, and that's lost on me

I never wanted to leave the house, I didn't want a family

I know the truth is hard to hear, but it wasn't hard to find

Baby, were you blindsided or were you just blind?

. ────── ･

in the letter that he had written to me after i filed for a divorce and a restraining order, had left me confused. he told me he had no idea where it went wrong, but that he was now lost because he didn't have me. i remember sobbing at that line, because he had made it seem like it was all my fault like he did in therapy. he just repeated that statement over and over. it seemed as though now, that i was his whole world. that i took up every part of it, the good and bad.

he didn't understand why i did not want children at our two year mark being married, and sixth year being together. you wanna know why? because i never left that damn penthouse, i never left it - rarely for games and team activities. i never left because i wanted to do everything in my power to make it seem like we had a great home life and one that was filled with equality and adoration. yet, as you know now it was far from it.

the day that our divorce was finalized, we both appreared in an ann arbor court to do so. i read a letter aloud for his family and mine to hear. once i was finished, i looked up at quinn and saw the heartbreaking blank stare he had given me for two years. one that was empty and cold. hard to hear, huh? i then looked over towards his family, and saw similar ones and tears falling from ellen's face. what quinn had told her was one side, and partially incorrect. she could see the genuiness and confidence i posessed. she knew.

i sniffled back my tears, and gave a sullen frown to my divorce who embraced me quickly afterwards. i took one last look at the hughes family on the way out, all of them trying to come with terms of my shocking and heartbreaking letter. was quinn really blindsided? nah. he knew all along, but was just blind.

. ────── ･

Like that one time in 2020, before that big show, we had a big fight

I slept on the couch and then the next night you put on your suit

I put on a smile and sang about how it's okay to cry, dying inside

. ────── ･

it was winter of 2020, and i had somehow begged and successfully gotten quinn to come see me perform in toronto at the toronto film festival for one night only show, promoting a single i did for a movie. i had somehow gotten him to take a few days off, in december before christmas. as soon as we had landed, we hurried to the hotel so i could get a early night but that was not meant to be. i ended up sleeping on the couch that night, and the following one he put on a nice suit and i put on a pretty dress. we posed for pictures backstage and on the red carpet for the event, smiling through tears once more. and at the end of my set, i gave a heartfelt thanks to him. i looked backstage to where he said he'd be all night, and had hoped he had returned from god knows where, but when i looked back i didn't see him. he was at the bar, talking to two random people. and had been all night. i sang the very last song, from the movie, about how it was okay to to cry while going through hard times. the crowd not realizing that i was going through the hardest time in my life, and that song represented me and not those damn movie character's it was supposed to be. i remember swallowing back my tears, smiled at the crowd and waved goodbye.

that night we flew home in a private jet, fighting once more becuase he wasn't there the whole time. he didn't understand what it meant to be there for me when i needed and wanted him the most. he was never there. even when i paid for all the flights and hotels. he never got on the plane to see me in europe while i was on tour in summer of 2021. he was in nashville with his brothers and friends, at some music festival. that was a turning point in our marriage for me, i remember (drunkingly) texting ellen and not my mom, at about 2 am denmark time and 8 pm her time. i told her that i couldn't do it anymore. and that i was at my wit's end with this marriage and that i had planned to leave him once i got back. the morning came and i checked my phone to see ellen's text messages and facetimes, from the time i sent the text. i realized i hadn't sent them to my mom but 'mom # 2'. i sighed, biting my lips and texitng her that everything was okay. and that i wasn't leaving. she'd tell him, i just knew it.

. ────── ･

it's been now a year since i filed for divorce, its been now 2 months since i met my now boyfriend, and 2 days since i announced to the world i had new music coming out. i felt like i was going to throw up posting those ill-fated photos that were legally mine now, as i awaited for the response. i heard from people in vancouver that quinn was livid but he had not say or control over me. not anymore atleast. he could be livid and cry like a baby in the penthouse i left him after we divorced. they told me he felt blindsided once more, yet he knew all along this would be happening. that i would get my voice back, and voice what i had been throught the past almost four years now. he had no control over me, and nobody does for that matter.

now as i settle in for the night with my boyfriend josh, who just so happens to play for the san jose sharks i held him a little harder tonight like i normally do. constantly in fear of him leaving or becoming distant. even a year and a half later of not living together and now being divorced for a year, that fear still lingers. but, i had found somebody who was all and completely mine.

hope you all enjoyed, please like and repost!!!!!

no tags, because i feel like i annoy people so

[lorata]

random Claudius AU snippet

i was going through my old drafts and i'm not ever going to expand on this so here's 300 words where Claudius had a normal Arena and 7M was the only 12yo

The kid stares at him with hollow eyes, ringed with shadows above stark cheekbones. Not much sponsor money from District 7 this year, even with a new mentor in the seat, it seems. Claudius spins his blade in his hand in a showy gesture that Seven doesn’t miss. His throat bobs, dry tongue poking out in an attempt to wet his lips more habitual than effective.

“Are you going to kill me?” Seven asks. His voice rasps, hoarse from dehydration.

Claudius doesn’t bother playing, not with a twelve-year-old. He knows where his lines are. “Yeah,” he says. “You want a head start?”

A flash of defiance hits the kid’s eyes, which is interesting. Claudius wonders if his mentors ever got to see it before the Arena or if it was the long slow march of starvation and terror and survival that burned off the fear and baby-fat until nothing but the hard bones remained. “Just kill me,” Seven says, throwing up his head and sticking out his chin. “You’re making jokes and pretending like you’re going to be nice about it, but you don’t care. You don’t even know our names.”

Not a bad tactic for a doomed kid from the middle districts, but unfortunately for him, Claudius knows exactly what to do. “Oh, are we playing a game?” he says, tilting his head and putting the slightest lilt into his tone. “That’s fun, I’ll play. District 7, male tribute. Age: twelve. Private session score: three. Practical skills: climbing. Combat: none. Odds: eighteen to one. And your name is Jeremy.” He says the last with extra emphasis, then smiles, sharp and dangerous. “Your turn, you do me now. Which one am I?”

Jeremy-from-District-7 freezes, eyes wide and mouth working silently. Claudius flattens his smile just a little, lets his eyes go hard. “I didn’t think so,” he says, in that razor space between disappointed and satisfied, and strikes before the kid can blink.

The cannon fires as Seven hits the ground, but Claudius has already turned away.

[physicsfox7]

So, I have to brag just a bit. As previously mentioned, I haven't ever been great at fighting games. Moreover, I was a notorious button masher.

But with the release of my beloved Elphelt on Strive, I am here to stay. I've been playing since about mid-December, and I am a slow learner as it is.

In the beginning, with my friends patented school, I learned a lot in a short amount of time. Then I practiced on my own, ran the arcade mode, and worked on tower. I of course grabbed fights with friends when I could. But about 5 weeks ago, I hit what felt like a plateau. Admittedly, getting my ass handed to me constantly was very disheartening as well. And I still wasn't very good.

I stepped away from it for a couple of weeks, proceeded to lose whatever edge I had developed, and lost interest. I bought Bridget in an attempt to reawaken the fighting spirit, and spent a very lovely afternoon fighting her computer on very hard. Then I stopped and didn't pick it up.

When they dropped A.B.A on Tuesday, I was very excited. I thought a new character to try out would help, and everyone else would be trying her as well, so I might have a chance to win a little bit while they learn the new controls.

With the new patch, suddenly I couldn't boot the game. I spent over a day trying to figure it out. I tried everything from verifying files to reinstalling to getting third party software. Nothing worked, I just couldn't get on the network. I missed out on pre practice, I missed out on hours of playing with friends. Finally, working with everyone, we figured out the problem. One stupid, simple fix (disabling my antivirus software, yes I know I'm an idiot) and it booted first try.

By the time I joined the lobby, I was shaking from being hungry and angry and frustrated. Everyone else was warmed up, and I was cold for three weeks. I sorta kinda held my own, got my ass kicked again and again, but it didnt feel oppressive. Instead, it was invigorating. Some of the techniques and combos I had practiced worked, and I even got complimented.

Then tonight, we had another Strive lobby night. And something clicked. I was playing. I didn't win every match, but I didn't lose every match either. I stood my ground against players far better than me. I won multiple rounds in a row, and most importantly learned a few new techniques and ideas. I implemented on the fly. Tonight felt good.

We had a random come into the lobby, who is high level with all characters, and coaches. They run tourneys, and was top 100 with a couple of their mains. I warned them before our match that I wouldn't stand a chance, but like everyone in this community, they were more interested in playing and helping than beating me down. I managed to take them down below half health in a couple matches.

After stream, I went back and watched some older videos of my gameplay, then some from last night and tonight and the level of improvement I've made is astounding.

I react faster, my combos are cleaner, there's less wasted space/time/movement, and I'm starting to feel which move is the right defense, allowing me to be proactive in defense and getting out of neutral. And I can see when to be aggreasive and when to wait more easily.

I was at a precipice, and I honestly felt stuck. The combination of time away, solo practice, and a more relaxed and patient attitude the last couple of nights has broken through. I feel positive about future sessions, and I'm looking forward to playing rather than dreading it.

I'm very pleased with myself, and I feel positive. Playing games with such skilled people is kind of dampening for both my confidence and my pride, so this was pretty great. Okay, no more bragging. K thx byeeeeeeee

[prideofcelestia]

❝ reincarnation ❞

notes -> this is my piece for leviathan's birthday collaboration 2023. the prompt is 'reincarnation'

i had a lot of fun with this collab. everyone worked really hard and it was a beautiful feeling to work with people who love the game and levi. thank you everyone for the support and effort you put!

happy birthday, levi!!! thank you for being my beacon of hope during bleak times. you are such an amazing otaku. you give me courage to love the things i do ♡

contains tw -> angst, mentions of war, mentions of death, angst with a happy, hopeful ending.

leviathan x gender neutral reader

Levi jumped, a magazine lying at his feet.

“Ivel-chan was reincarnated as a slime in this life and she will have her revenge!”

He remembered crying buckets last week when they had killed her off. So what if she was a side character? In his heart, she was brighter than the protagonist who only gave fan service these days. At least Ivel-chan had character!

The door to his room flung over. Lucifer peeked inside, his eyes glimmering with sadistic enthusiasm. The twins, who were only toddlers, rested in baby clasps, one on his back, one in the front.

“Levi, dinner has been ready for ten minutes now. Do you want to come to the table or be fed right here?”

“Eep! I-I am coming.”

༺☆༻

“Mammon, don’t play with your food. Asmo, put the mirror down. Satan, don’t glare at your food,” Lucifer chided before feeding a happy Beel.

“Levi, remember that you have to show [Name] around the neighbourhood.”

Levi groaned because he liked staying indoors, “Why do I have to do it?”

“Because their family just shifted in yesterday and [Name] is the same age as you. So as good," Lucifer put emphasis, making Levi shudder, "neighbours, we must do our duty.”

༺☆༻

Seeing you for the first time made Levi feel butterflies in his stomach. You seemed someone out of his memory but that somehow made you feel more real than ever. Every word of protest he had been repeating to himself till then disappeared.

He has had crushes before, both reel and real but it felt different this time. It was as if he knew you from somewhere, and not in a I-have-seen-you-before kind of way but in a I-know-you-well kind of way. It made him feel uncomfortable. He felt violated, as if you could see right through him. He might not be too difficult to read, given that he was nothing more than a yucky otaku but he still had some secrets he wanted to keep safe and your vibe was completely off.

“Do I know you?” you asked, feeling a knot in your stomach that you could not justify.

The idea of letting a stranger show you around a new neighbourhood made you anxious, but the feeling that dominated you right now was curiosity, and surprisingly, interest.

༺☆༻

Levi wasn't that bad. He actually did a good job showing you the places that mattered. The arcade, the stores where the best instant ramen was to be found, the aquarium, and… an anime cafe, too. The last one quite surprised you.

You started hanging out together, mostly because you had become acquainted with him a little, and he seemed fun. He held the same opinion about you and made plans together, although all of it was in his room, playing games.

It felt as if you had lived those exact moments several times with him. Every time he leaned against you during an intense gaming session and apologised, or when he offered you new ramen flavours to try, you would be hit with a memory from a time unknown.

Even though your mind was foggy, you knew that the places you pictured him in were more beautiful than your memory could produce. To add colour to mystery, he was in some sort of an angel cosplay. It all felt really bizarre but it made you think about him more than should be considered healthy.

In his turn, Levi felt guilty that he just couldn't get you out of his mind. He was supposed to be a good friend to you. Wasn't it betraying you if he was, what he believed it to be, falling in love with you?!

༺☆༻

The dreams followed soon. You could neither understand the significance nor discuss it with someone to come to a conclusion.

Those felt disconnected and unreal and you kept mixing the details in your head, not to mention the haunted look Levi had the day after you got one of the dreams.

One day, you decided to take him into your confidence. Slowly but firmly.

You said casually, “Levi, why do you look so tired today?”

He blinked and looked frightened, “Huuuu-? Me?? We-Well, there's something on my m-m-mind. I didn't know how to t-tell you this. I've been having strange dreams these days. I got one last night.”

You stopped in your tracks abruptly to turn towards him. He felt hot under your intense gaze.

“Wh-Why are you looking at m-m-me like that?”

“It’s just,” you began, extremely calm and intrigued, “I have been having dreams that I can’t explain for a while too. Maybe we should talk.”

༺☆༻

“Is this the place?” you called out to Levi after reaching the top of the hill.

The poor guy had been running to keep up with you. Presently, he sat down to rest. Once he could breathe well, he looked around.

There were a few trees scattered around. Wild grass and dandelions had spread there for a good while, lending a weathered yellow look to the place.

It was hauntingly beautiful in your eyes.

“Y-Yeah, this is the place I saw in my dr-dreams. I have been too afraid to come here alone,” Levi said, almost breathless.

The place seemed to talk to him too.

You explored the place while Levi was content with glancing around from his spot.

A sense of nostalgia washed over you. When you glanced back at him, you knew that he felt the same.

On walking around, you came across a small pond that seemed to draw you in.

That's when you saw something shining between the rocks.

After nudging the rocks aside, you found a locket there. It must have been a pretty colour once but now it was rusted and impossible to open.

You didn't know why you hid it so quickly when you heard Levi calling out for you.

Maybe you needed time to think and figure it out yourself first.

༺☆༻

You couldn't put the matter aside for later. The object seemed to call out to you so you put the controller down and turned towards Levi.

“Listen, I picked something up from that place.”

You pulled the locket out and showed it to your friend.

His eyes grew as large as saucepans, “Wh-What do you mean you just randomly picked it up? It could be bad, REALLY b-bad! We still don’t know what those dreams mean!”

You sighed and motioned it towards him, “But isn’t this better than to just speculate?”

He croaked, “The dreams make me uncomfortable… the place… I feel like I have been there before.”

You inched closer to him.

“I understand. Don't worry, I am here with you.”

He stared at you before his lips finally curved up in a smile. “Thank you. You are my true friend, my best friend even!”

Then he shrugged his shoulders, “I guess this is what a protagonist would do. Who am I to stop you? Let's see if it does anything.”

When he touched the locket in your hand, everything around grew dark.

༺☆༻

You were transported to a place beautiful beyond expectations. A strong, shaky hand wrapped around your shoulder, surprising you. A quick glance revealed that it was Levi. He was wearing pure white robes and there was a halo floating on his head. You wanted to laugh and tease him but you couldn’t move.

“I love you, [Name],” he said. The pain in his voice and the fire in his eyes took you aback. “I-I promise that I will pr-protect you in the war.”

What war?

Your mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. Your hand intertwined with his and you found yourself smiling while your veins coursed with fear. “I love you too, Levi. I will not let any harm come to you. Forever, remember?”

“Yes, fo-forever,” he spoke shyly but there was a smile on his face.

༺☆༻

The scene shifted. You were in armed combat with an extremely angry looking woman.

Damn! She was skilled. Every time she swung her spear, you thought that you were about to die, but your body moved meticulously to avoid the attacks.

“[Name], are you fine?” Levi screamed from somewhere.

The female angel raised her eyebrows and showed you a nasty smile before pointing her spear in the direction of Levi’s voice. Your eyes widened as you turned around only to find him busy commanding his army.

He would notice the spear too late! You launched yourself in front of him just before the fatal blow.

“[Name]!”

The poison flowed through your body with vigour, making you fall in and out of consciousness. Levi caught you just as you were about to give up.

With his features contorted with rage, he turned towards the female angel. She smiled triumphantly.

"SOLDIERS!" Levi bellowed. "Attack her!"

The woman got her spear ready and took charge while Levi's army flew past Levi at top speed.

The legion of angels he had been fighting looked on with hope.

The leader of the opposition commanded in a muffled tone, “Attack [Name] together while Leviathan is distracted. That way he will lose his intention to fight.”

Someone put a dagger through Levi's back but despite not understanding the source of the pain, he shielded you with his body. He prioritised you over his own life.

"Soldiers! Protect [Name]!"

It was too late. His eyes felt heavy owing to the poison in the dagger. He couldn't even see where his sworn angels were for the last time or who had been his nemesis in the end.

You both fell together. If you couldn't be alive together, then you two would be together in death.

༺☆༻

“I wish we had a normal life together. Then, we wouldn’t have had to live like outcasts,” Levi whispered when he saw you struggling to keep your eyes open. “As long as I had a chance to live with you, I was happy being an outcast. It seems that our time is up now.”

Levi cried, not because of his condition, but to see life draining from your eyes slowly. “I-I am the happiest angel that’s about to die, [Name]. I am sorry I couldn’t protect you in this life.”

A tear ran down your cheek, “I am sorry too for breaking my promise. I couldn't be with you forever. I couldn't protect you in the end either… I hope we meet again, Levi. I will love you in every lifetime.”

Your hands were intertwined, a locket in your grasp. A locket that enclosed your happiest memory together.

༺☆༻

The flashback ended and you both came back to your senses.

“Ouch!” you yelled and tried to pull your hand back. Levi had it in a tight grasp.

On seeing the fear etched on his face, you got quiet and took a deep breath. It had all felt so surreal.

“What just happened?” you murmured, the full burden of the flashback just setting in.

He looked at your entwined hands and noticed the absence of the locket. He felt a pang in his heart. He only knew that it had been important once but he didn't understand how. Surely it was no merch so why did he care so much?!

“I th-think it was the locket," he blurted out. "When we bo-both touched it, we finally saw the… the entire dream.”

A thoughtful silence filled the room.

You whispered, “I don’t think it was a dream.”

You squeezed his hand gently before looking at him with bated breath.

His lower lip quivered, “I don’t think it was a dream either.”

He turned his gaze towards you. His grip tightened, “D-Did I ever tell you that I am glad we met? I'm happy that you're not a dream. I want to keep knowing you, to make more memories with you. Will you let me?”

༺☆༻

Two people, seated in a small room, forgot the game they had been playing and instead glanced at each other at the moment. Their eyes held tenderness and the advent of new love.

The vast world danced with endless possibilities for their future. No moment was wasted as they decided their own future, unsullied by their past but still keeping their spirit alive.

It was a life they wanted and that was good enough.

[mo2k]

games addiction

feat. oikawa tooru, kageyama tobio, atsumu miya, sakusa kiyoomi

warnings. just fluff and some needy boys

key point. you've been addicted to the new game you've just downloaded on your phone, prompting your boys to be grumpy when you don't divide enough attention for them

bam's note. it happened the moment me and my bestie decided to load a new game and after that we just won't talk to each other as much anymore XD

| oikawa

"babe" the dark brown haired earns a hum. "angel" now he earns a 'yes?'. "honey" you speak again in a louder voice. you might think he want to annoy you, though actually in his opinion that was far from his plan. tooru only came closer, wrap arms around you, make you shift your original position so he could rest his back on the sofa and behind you. this man watch you struggling not to die, concentrating hard to practically stabbing your fingers against the screen as quickly as possible. it's been like 3 minutes or so, now let's witness his real plan together. simple enough, tooru jab his finger carelessly and the game is over. genius. sure you can groan, be mad or snap at him. oikawa would smile, "well now that you're dead. plus why would you want to get frustrated over nothing when you have such handsome and amazing boyfriend to spend your time with anyway?"

| kageyama

our milky boy understands well that when you fall in love with something, you wouldn't want to stop doing it until you're satisfied, no word could ever describe how volleyball mean to him either. however, when that game pop up on your phone's screen, he doesn't like a single minute you choose to spend with it instead of him. therefore dear readers, you can't blame a soul when tobio start to plunge for action by taking your phone away and put it in some corners you don't even recall was there in your shared apartment. then he would have all the excuse to throw you over his shoulders since in his personal schedule it says right now is late night cuddle sessions time. "sleep with me. you can play games during the day, but don't forget that in nighttime you belong to me"

| atsumu

atsumu has been staring at you for 10 minutes straight. with an evident scowl on his face. at first you wouldn't mind it, but now it's making you quite uncomfortable. when you ask him what's wrong, the grumpy fox doesn't even try to hide his distaste. not until you have to reluctantly toss your phone aside and hold his hand. much to your delight, atsumu finally commit some movement. the blonde press a light kiss to your left cheek, and then another to your right. it's quite a habit of him, kissing every inch of your face before the last land on your lips. so as you reach for it, a surprise hit you when he lean away. your eyebrows were furrowed just for some seconds before tsumu's statement clarify everything. "if yer want my kiss, princess, delete that stupid game first"

| sakusa

omi clicked his toungue for the fourth time in a row as you squeal when you got some rare characters from gacha. you were eager to present it to him while continuously smacking his arm in excitement. i suppose it's needless to elaborating on how pissed he was at the moment. sakusa shot you a quick glare to which you completely missed. he has to purposely push the phone firmly down to your lap and make you look at him. you make an attempt to say something but only if his fingers hadn't been taped to your cheeks. his loose black locks fall over his cold, emotionless eyes, yet you could gaze at his attractive features all day. and kiyoomi holds back a small smile once he know that he's winning. "since you really like playing such games, have a one on one battle with me. if you win, go off with it. but if i win," the man paused mid sentence to run a thumb over your bottom lips, "your time will be mine"

taglist. @gumiresque @sweetxochaco @shoberri @miikoos @hirugummies @arnpm @quirrrky @bokubooo @mrskodzuken @rxdyzsoull

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Patient File: MO-1620

As with most other things, this has been burning in my brain for the last however long and I need to exorcise it by writing it down

TWs: captivity (imprisonment), discussions of self-worth, discussions of anxiety, discussions of trauma, self-flagellation, references to murder (including child murder), referenced but not discussed self-harm and suicidal ideation

The following is a transcript of Inmate MO-1620's visits with the facility psychologist and counselor, Dr. Juan Castillo. These documents contain confidential information. If you have received them in error, please destroy them immediately and notify the phone number on the cover sheet. Failure to do so may result in a felony punishable by a fine in any amount not exceeding $5,000, or imprisonment of not more than 5 years, or both, together with the costs of prosecution. For privacy, inmate names have been redacted in all places that they appear.

This document has been translated from Spanish to English, per written request.

BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT

XX/XX/XXXX - Session X

JC: Hello, XXXXX, it's good to meet you. You don't have to be nervous, this isn't a bad visit.

MO-1620: Can I ask why I'm here? They don't...usually let people talk to me.

JC: Of course. You're here because there's been talk of you being released early. I'm going to determine if you're ready for that over the next few weeks.

MO-1620: I...they can't do that. They shouldn't release me.

JC: Why is that?

MO-1620: You've seen my records. You know...you are aware of what I've done. They shouldn't let me out.

JC: I have seen your records. I've also seen your records of conduct during your sentence. I think you're a suitable candidate for release.

MO-1620: My conduct here does not mean anything. This isn't the real world.

JC: I think it does. I know during the incident in July, you didn't fight back. You chose to walk away.

MO-1620: It was not a situation that needed to be escalated. Anyone could see that XXXXX was...not in his right mind. He got bad news, I accidentally bumped into him on my way back from my yard time. I got hit. It was nothing to fight over. The guards got him away before anything could even happen, anyway.

JC: Most people in that situation would've fought back. Why didn't you? You hadn't done anything wrong.

MO-1620: It wasn't necessary. I don't like...I don't like hurting people. I don't want to hurt anyone again.

JC: So following that logic, why are you not a good candidate for early release?

MO-1620: I didn't want to hurt the people I killed, either. I still did it when I was told to. I can't be trusted with freedom.

JC: XXXXX, you were in a difficult position. Youngest member of your team, given the most unpleasant tasks, and threatened with punishment if you didn't fulfill them. You reported everything that was happening, as well, to the public and media. Don't you think that deserves some consideration?

MO-1620: No.

JC: Why not?

MO-1620: Those are excuses given to justify behavior. I've burned people alive. I've killed entire towns with nothing but my casting gloves and a handgun. People have begged me for their lives, for their children's lives, and I ignored them. You cannot ever justify that. You cannot justify any of that.

JC: Your hands are shaking. Are you angry at me?

MO-1620: No.

JC: Are you upset?

MO-1620: No. I am sick. I'd like to go back to my cell, please.

JC: Alright, lean back and I'll call someone in.

XX/XX/XXXX- Session X

JC: Welcome back, XXXXX. How are you feeling?

MO-1620: I'm nervous.

JC: What has you nervous? Nothing will happen to you in here.

MO-1620: I know. I...am just a nervous person, I think. You are...you are kind, though. I apologize for how I ended our last session.

JC: No, I think that was the healthiest thing you could've done. Leaving a situation to calm down is a good way to deal with hard emotions when you don't have other options.

MO-1620: That's very generous of you to say. I felt like I was being dramatic. Throwing a tantrum.

JC: I didn't think so. I do think that you tend to judge yourself very harshly, though.

MO-1620: I don't understand what you mean.

JC: You seem like you take a very harsh stance on your own actions, with very little room for compassion or understanding.

MO-1620: I have to make sure that I don't slip up. I'm...very dangerous.

JC: I don't think you're dangerous. You have the potential for danger, just like anyone else, but I don't feel like I'm in danger right now.

MO-1620: Of course not. The people who raise lions and tigers in their home don't feel like they're in danger, either. But something always happens.

JC: Are you just a lion or a tiger, trapped in someone's home?

MO-1620: I might as well be. I can't hurt people in here. I don't see anyone that I could hurt. It's safest for me to be here.

JC: Don't you feel lonely staying in here?

MO-1620: I do. That's alright.

JC: Why is it alright?

MO-1620: I think being lonely is the least I could do.

JC: Can you elaborate on that?

MO-1620: I took people's families from them. Partners, friends, there are a lot more lonely people in the world now, because of me.

JC: You being lonely won't bring them back

MO-1620: It won't. But neither will me living a life that those people won't ever get to experience again. I still don't understand why my sentence was so light compared to the others.

JC: So you should be punished until you die?

MO-1620: I think so, yes.

JC: That's not a very healthy mindset.

MO-1620: Why should I get the privilege of health?

JC: You're a human being, I think every human being deserves health.

MO-1620: I think that's a bit of a stretch.

JC: Are you not a human being?

MO-1620: No, not anymore. I threw that away when XXXXX told me to start razing XXXXX and I did it.

[Two minutes of silence follow]

MO-1620: I think I'd like to go back to my cell, please, Doctor Castillo.

DD/MM/YYYY - Session X

JC: XXXXX, it's good to see you again. How have you been these last few weeks?

MO-1620: It...is good to see you too. I...have been better. I have also been worse, though.

JC: It's important not to get caught up in minimizing your own pain just because you've experienced worse.

MO-1620: I...I apologize.

JC: My feelings aren't hurt. What has you feeling bad?

MO-1620: I just can't understand what you see in me. It's confusing. I've done some of the worst things someone can do. How could I ever be fit to go back to...to a normal life?

JC: I focus on your current behavior, not your past.

MO-1620: Why is that...okay? Why do you do that?

JC: People can change. Not everyone will, but some people can. I think you're a different person than you were when you hurt those people.

MO-1620: What makes you so sure? I...I feel the same. I don't think I'm any different.

JC: Change isn't some big, sweeping thing. Not permanent change, anyway. It has to be small, and gradual. Sometimes we don't even notice it. I think you've been doing that. I've seen the books you've been checking out. Why have you been focusing on self-help and communication books?

MO-1620: I want...to understand people better. I don't understand others very well. It makes things hard.

JC: Someone who didn't care about hurting others wouldn't care about understanding them.

MO-1620: Maybe. You talk like I deserve to be forgiven, though.

JC: I think it should be on the table. You might not be able to forgive yourself now, but I don't think it should be off-limits forever.

MO-1620: That is not mine to give, though.

JC: Forgiveness?

MO-1620: Yes. Forgiveness for how I hurt others is not something I get to give to myself. That doesn't make sense. I wasn't the one hurt.

JC: I think you were.

MO-1620: How was I hurt? I did the hurting. It's selfish to make this about me and my feelings.

JC: These sessions are all about you. If there's a time to explore something that feels selfish, now is the perfect time. I can't imagine it was fun to do all of that.

MO-1620: There was adrenaline, but...you're right. It wasn't something I liked. I didn't want to do it.

JC: You wanted to stop so badly that you almost beat someone to death.

MO-1620: I...did. I did that, yes. It was not the way I should've handled it. I shouldn't have touched our superior officer.

JC: But nothing else worked. You don't immediately jump to violence. Should you never be forgiven for hurting your superior officer?

MO-1620: No, I shouldn't. I think he deserved it, but I still shouldn't forgive myself for it. I'm not a good judge of what is right or wrong.

JC: Because you trusted the people in charge of you?

MO-1620: Because I knew better, and still made excuses. I made excuses to myself until I couldn't look either my leader or super in the eye without wanting to vomit. I should've taken the torture training instead. I should've accepted the punishments. They couldn't kill me and get away with it, and I knew that. I should've done anything but what I did. The only thing I did right was turn us all in.

JC: I think most people would've done what you did in your position.

MO-1620: I don't think that makes it okay, or forgivable.

JC: I think it does. I think you don't want to admit that it was traumatic to go through all of that, because you happened to also hurt others. But it wasn't fun. I think it hurt you a lot to do those things. I think it was scary to have those threats made if you didn't obey orders.

MO-1620: I...I think I deserve to hurt like this, though. It's fair.

JC: It's fair?

MO-1620: I shouldn't ever forget, or get too comfortable. If it helps me remember, and if it helps me stay in line...I think it's fair. I'll take that.

JC: I see. Would you like a tissue, XXXXX?

MO-1620: ...Yes. Yes, please.

JC: Take your time, and then I'll let them take you back. I think it's a good time to end today.

MO-1620: Thank you, Doctor Castillo.

XX/XX/XXXX - Session X

JC: Hello again. XXXXX. You don't look well, are you feeling alright?

MO-1620: I haven't been sleeping very well. The guards tell me that you are saying I should be released next month. I...I don't understand.

JC: You've demonstrated self-restraint, self-awareness, and a deep remorse for your actions. You haven't participated in so much as an argument in your years here, either. Unless you've somehow managed to fool someone who's caught serial killers in their games, you aren't going to re-offend.

MO-1620: I...I am very afraid, Doctor Castillo. I do not know how to...to say how I'm feeling. It doesn't feel like you've been listening to me at all.

JC: I've been listening more than you think I have. You are...what, XX years old? I've been doing this since before you were born, XXXXX. I've talked to guys who've done what you did before. You're not my first violent offender. You know how many have begged me to stay here, because they were afraid they'd hurt someone else?

MO-1620: Not...many?

JC: You have. You and one other have begged to stay. The rest have all but promised me their first-born to get out of here early. So no. You will not be staying.

MO-1620: What if I mess up again? What if more people end up dead? I cannot handle that. I don't know what I'd do if that happened.

JC: You don't have to know. No one else will die because of you, because you aren't going to do that again. You don't trust yourself enough to even come close to being in a position to do that again. I'd be surprised if you felt confident enough to care for a pet rock when you're released. You will be fine out there.

[One minute of silence follows. Unintelligible noises can be heard, but the recording is too low quality to discern the source. The noise gradually becomes clearer and can be identified as MO-1620 crying.]

JC: Alright, none of that, hands on the chair arms. Good, good. Just like that. Breathe. Here are the tissues. I'll tell them to take you back. Not to your cell yet, you're on a watch. You can go back to your cell afterwards, then we'll get you ready to get out of here.

[A beep can be heard]

JC: Can I get Rodriguez in here? No, no. Nothing like that. Yeah, looks like a panic attack. Just for a few days, maybe a week. Yes. Just to be sure he makes it to release date. No, we certainly don't need a repeat of the XXXXX situation.

[A door squeaks open]

Off. R: Is this...him? XXXXX XXXXX? The one who...

JC: Yes. I think he'll need some help--yes, it's safe. He won't hurt you, if he could I would've asked for Ortega. Just like this, at his elbow. There. I'll call Medical and ask them to send down something to help keep him calm.

JC: I'll check on you later, XXXXX. You'll be fine. Just breathe.

END OF TRANSCRIPT

My analysis of MO-1620 is such: He is safe to return to society. He has expressed marked improvements in behavior, judgement, and habits, along with regret and a strong desire to not re-offend. Additionally, the differences between his actions and those on his team are large enough that I support the proposal put forth by Judge Miranda.

Dr. Juan Castillo

Dr. Juan Castillo

XX/XX/XXXX

[itjazzbicch]

Angel With Horns

Pairing:  Wheeler Yuta x Fem Reader

Summary: Continuing from The Rainy Day:

The reader had decided to follow the same path as her now boyfriend, Wheeler Yuta and leaving the Best Friends. Happy for his success, she also becomes defensive when hearing Moxley and Bryan trying to belittle Yuta, standing up to them and earning Regal's respect in her match, all of that fire she showed revealing his little angel has a different side..

Warnings: SMUT! (18+ ONLY!)(Unprotected sex)

Requested by: No One (But I hope you all enjoy it!)

Word Count: 1.9k

Tag List: @demonqueen29 @peachy-satan00 @new-zealand-chic  @crowleysqueenofhell @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @thatpanpal @hungmanhorsecarriagge @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @linziland13 @xxx-jazz-xxx @writtingrose @whenimakeitshine1234

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF:

“Talk about a killer match!”

Ever since Yuta decided to follow his own path and join the Blackpool Combat Club, things have been so much better. I left Best Friends and also decided to follow my own path too, Yuta and I also making our relationship official.

We were on top of the world. Not only were we both champions now, we were killing it on every show we performed on. He always had a soft spot in my heart, unable to control my excitement when he came from behind the curtain with Moxley, Bryan, and William Regal following.

“Thanks, baby,” He smiled, coming and hugging me, “Now, you go steal the show alright?”

“Always,” I smiled back brightly, kissing him till I heard a faint whisper:

“God, he’s such a softie.”

My eyes drifted to Moxley, who wasn’t so good at hiding what he said. Yuta decided to ignore him and went to speak, but I didn’t. Looking directly into Moxley’s eyes and saying:

“If you’re going to talk shit, say it with your chest.”

All of their eyes landed on me, immense shock in Yuta’s. I know he still had it a little rough in the club, but I refused to tolerate anyone’s bullshit when it came to talking about him.

“You’re making him soft,” Moxley stepped in, Bryan adding:

“We’re turning him into the badass that he needs to be and I agree, you make him soft.”

They all looked at me like I was mad, William very intrigued by our conversation when I scoffed back:

“Hold on, hold on. Aren’t you two married? Have children? But Yuta is the soft one by loving his girlfriend?”

It actually took them a second to think of something to say, Bryan putting up an argument:

“We save that for when we’re at home. Besides, my wife was a wrestler.”

“Oh bullshit,” I called, “You just had your kids here like a week ago? And you’re wife was only relevant in wrestling because of her sister, had a title like once, then just stole and botched all your moves.”

Yuta’s eyes couldn’t expand anymore, unable to believe what I was saying and seeing me truly pissed which was a rare occasion and I wasn’t done there:

“And Mox, your wife likes getting oral sessions from other people right? Meanwhile I am, ROH women’s champion and who’s in the main event tonight? Oh right! ME!”

The sting really hit them hard, having nothing to say after that. Only shooting dirty looks meanwhile I went about my way, kissing Yuta one more time with some fire, smiling softly:

“I’ll come back still a champ, baby. Enjoy the match.”

I was going to leave it at that, about to head back into the guerrilla, till William’s voice halted us:

“Wait just a second now, Y/N.”

William, I did have lots of respect for; So, I listened, fixing my title on my shoulder and looking to him, staying in place, curiosity turning into a nervousness when he turned to me and said:

“I will be escorting you.”

Moxley’s jaw actually dropped, quickly saying, “Oh come on, Reg-“

“Was I talking to you?” William snapped, shooting him a dirty look and only receiving silence, “That’s what I thought. Now Y/N, let’s go.”

“Yes sir,” I listened, glancing to see a smile on Yuta’s face when William began to lead the way, both of us having the same idea in mind.

When it was time for the match, I knew with William right at ringside watching, this had to be one of the best matches I ever put on. I could see how he was watching, evaluating every move that I made and it made me work harder.

By the end of the match, I was worn down. From chain, to harsh strikes, high risks, I was feeling it all, but still had fight left in me and knew I had to end this now. She tried charging at me and I quickly knipped up to my feet, letting out a loud growl while head-butting the hell out of her.

Dazed, she tried picking herself up, feeling a drop of blood on her temple and I didn’t know what it was, but I was even more aggravated, kneeling down and smashing elbows into her shoulder and head, yelling and screaming the whole time, then latching into a tight choke hold, making her pass out, even hold on a little after the bell went off.

My eyes drifted to William as he entered the ring, throwing her body off of me and standing up to him, unsure of what was going to happen next.

A smirk crept onto my face when William took my title from the referee and presented it to me, proceeding to raise my hand up in the air. I was already sure of what was happening, but as extra confirmation, Mox, Bryan, and Yuta joined us on stage whenever we made our way up.

“Y/N,” William smiled to me, “Welcome to the Blackpool Combat Club.”

Looking back at how I snapped, what I said to Mox and Bryan. I thought that William too, did not like me and would more than likely punish Yuta for it with more harsh training, but there we were, standing in the center with Yuta, smiling as we held our titles up high, now together in the club.

“Now, Yuta,” William began, heading backstage, “I expect you to give her the run down of things before next training.”

“Won’t be an issue,” Yuta nodded, wrapping his arm around me, smiling while noticing how Mox and Bryan were not fans of this decision, which made me smile too.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Regal,” I smirked, leaning my head next to Yutas title, “I’ll be ready.”

“Better be,” He smirked, heading off in a different direction, Yuta leading me too the locker room, his stance giving mixed emotions.

He seemed to be content but angry at the same time. I never liked leaving questions and wandering thoughts, straight up asking him when we walked into the locker room:

“Yoots, If what I did earlier made you upset or anything, I’m sorry. I know they don’t take it easy on you, but I couldn’t just stand there and listen to-“

“I’ll deal with whatever they throw at me,” He breathed deep, kissing me hard into the door, showing the signs of an adrenaline rush, “That was so damn hot.”

“Is that right?” I smiled into our kiss, not expecting this response, but had no complaints.

His head nodded quickly, taking our titles and tossing them into the chair to kiss more, “After that, I don’t think they’ll mess with either one of us. Especially not you.”

I couldn’t help my giggling against his lips, “Oh don’t worry, I will establish my dominance in the club, but right now, I want to get out of this gear.”

“Took my words right from me,” He smiled, nearly ripping his shirt off from moving so fast, stripping down to nothing and gladly taking part in making my gear disappear.

With my blood running hot, still on the high I felt since I ripped the guys a new one, I charged him back to the couch to sit, quickly straddling him, kissing just to enjoy the gasp we would always share when I would drop down, walls needing time to adjust, but there was no holding back my temptations.

“Oh damn, that’s what I love,” He breathed in, smirk forming while looking me up and down, taking the time to admire, eyes locked on our hips grinding together.

The look in his eyes only made me want to be even more filthy, leaning back on his thighs to give him a better view, rolling a little quicker and moaning out with a smile:

“You love this pussy, baby?”

“Now, you already know the answer,” He scolded playfully, thumb circling my clit, “Feeling like a bad girl, tonight huh?”

I moaned sharply at the feeling, how it made my nerves rattled and suddenly making my hips roll even quicker, turning into slight bounces, nodding my head quickly, but matching his vibe:

“Your little angel has a pair of horns too.”

“Taking that halo off for me?” He smiled, knowing how encouraging his words were, even a slight drool and a visible fight with his moans when I started to go crazy, feeling us sink deeper into the couch each time I came crashing down onto him.

“Only for you, baby,” I kissed sloppily with louder moans, walls around his girth tight and growing with his cock in my lower core, “Only you can get me in a place like this.”

For us not dating for too long, he knew how to read me like a book perfectly, thrusting his hips up, a pinch at my sweet spot instantly earning my gushing orgasm.

“Fuck, Yuta!” I yelped, the high so good; his moan turning into a deep growl, wanting the feeling again and knowing exactly how to get it.

Hanging on for dear life, my knees hung over his shoulders, head throwing out a filthy moan, screams of his name while he sat on the edge of the couch, cock stuffed even deeper in my cunt, practically in my stomach.

I instantly became desperate for that high again, not even needing a command and throwing myself into his thrust, gasping for air with an aching chest, but not a single thought of stopping in my mind.

“Starting to wonder if you were ever an angel,” He watched and toyed, death grip on my hips to slam harder,  “Riding my dick like this, I’m not so sure.”

“You love me either way,” I panted, so close to another orgasm and not in the mood for the toying anymore, “Go harder with me. I’m about to cum again! Please, baby.”

“Let it all out then,” He huffed out, feeling a tilt of the couch from going as hard as possible, pushing me to screams, “Go harder like you wanted, come on.”

Frantic nods pushed me to go just as hard as him which was a lot, hand gripping at his hair when I felt an earthquake that travelled from my brain to my toes, curling with a wave of wet heat and crying out his name like it was the last thing I was going to do.

“Shit!” He gasped hard, pulling me off and cum shooting all over me, “Didn’t want to let me go.”

No hiding my true emotions, my head shook faintly, getting the last bit of bliss by rubbing myself along his shaft, able to feel faint throbs and how much of mess I was turned into.

“We both needed that and fuck, was it good,” I whispered faintly, catching my breath in his lap, rest my head on his chest.

“You can say that again,” He breathed, glancing to his phone seeing messages and laughing.

“Just know,” I looked up, sharing a good laugh, “I’m willing to take any training punishment if they have a problem with the incredible sex they just heard.”

[eliotqueliot]

Queliot & The Magicians Fic Reading Winter Challenge, part 2

Just to make it clear, the numbers you will see aren't a ranking of any kind. It's just me keeping track of how many recs I've made during this personal reading challenge, as I hope to hit 40 by Jan. 31. I'm reading fic at a wide range of lengths, and I wanted to find a way to allow myself time to finish the longer ones, as well as work in the shorter ones, so I hope this works! For the most part I'll be posting only the ones I've finished reading, but exceptions will be made for WIPs and one or maybe two fic that are going to be too long for me to finish in the time period (if I'm also reading anything else).

These are just some of the fic I've been reading and commenting on lately, and I love them all! So much! You beautiful Queliot writers...you get me right where I live...and you save me, every time.

Also--I'm hoping to have some more time to read over the next few days! So hopefully I'll get in more recs!

4. A lovely, cozy Christmas getting-together story. Q has a cat and a bookstore! Eliot sings a Christmas song! There is rain and a fluffy bathrobe! And an epic make-out session! And friendship, and it's all just so sweet. Specifically written Hallmark style for the holidays. Thank you, @itsminimes!

As Long As You Love Me So - itsminimes - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

5. 31 absolutely stunningly beautiful and funny and sweet and poignant vignettes! Put them together and they read like poetry...sharing some of the deepest moments of the heart...sometimes out of these small, beautiful everyday moments that might get overlooked...sometimes sharing amazing new adventures or twists! Truly beautiful! Thank you, @lasouris-r! Nothing else to fear - LaSourisRousse - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

6. Here's another Christmas story for you! I love this one so much! Eliot is a doctor and Quentin is a cowboy, and Eliot tends Q after an accident...I love the casting and friendships in this story (very sweet and well-done, just love the strength of these bonds and how much everyone helps each other...and how much Eliot and Quentin bond so quickly)...love the exploration of Eliot & Quentin's feelings, too...just all so very sweet!! Thank you, @itsminimes!

A Christmas wish - itsminimes - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

7. This is by far the longest single fic I'll have ever read. I've been reading it off & on for several months and I just love it so much and I don't want it to ever end. I'm now in Ch. 10 of 24 and I'm still going to be reading it through the end of the challenge, I'm sure, so here it is right now. It's an AU in which Quentin is Fillorian and he and High King Eliot are in an arranged marriage and OF COURSE they totally fall in love with each other, but the very arrangement makes it hard for them to understand that the other one actually loves them. The characters are just so well drawn, so true to themselves it's like watching the show, and the bedroom scenes are so hot, and there's a lot of humor just like in the show, and also a lot of really deep emotions and thought. The worldbuilding, expanding on what we know, is also fantastic. Oh, and Penny is a king!!! My description here is longer because the fic is over 384k but it is totally worth every second of your time! Thanks, @hmgfanfic!

Little Quirks of Fate - HMGfanfic - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

[ihavewritersblockbutinreallife]

Fun fact: When I was little my parents bought a four disc set of the original TMNT Movies, the three of those, and then the 2007 TMNT. And for SOME REASON, little nine year old me was scarred for life after watching 2007. Keep in mind I had no knowledge whatsoever of the ninja turtles, I just thought the movies looked cool.

But 2007 shook me to the core, probably because Leo and Raph fought almost the whole time and Leo almost died, and my tiny brain didn't understand plot development and the whole "SUFFER FOR THE STORYLINE" concept.

And for years I just completely forgot about it.

Until my friend got me into TMNT like, six months ago, thank you @theressomanyfandomsineedtojoin

And ever since I joined the fandom there was this nagging thought in the back of my brain like "hey there's something you're repressing you should figure it out" and I'm like yeah that's about as helpful as any website telling you your password OR username is incorrect but won't tell you which one.

Then I finally remembered that 2007 TMNT terrified me and talked myself into watching it again.

Y'all if you haven't seen it, DO IT IT'S SO GOOD It's literally on my list of favorite movies now.

Anyway, after that whole mess, have some 2007 TMNT quotes as a reward for making it this far lol.

“Did you turn the computer on? Have you plugged it in. Yeah. That would help…”

“No, I’m not playing hard to get! I’m telling you sir, it’s not that kind of phone line!”

“No, I’m not your enemy, I’m just Donnie, you’re friendly IT tech support, here to help you 24 hours a day sir- I’m sorry! Ma’am. Heh.”

“Why couldn’t you send him away for training?”

“Well guys, if you ask me, I’d say this has Winter’s name written all over it.” “How do you figure that?” “Because, THIS has Winter’s name, written all over it.”

“I’m not dreamin, am I?!” “No, Mikey, you’re not dreaming.” “Oh, good. I have nightmares about birthday parties.”

“Donnie, you’re so smart. Why don’t we have jetpacks?” “Yeah, that’s good, Mikey, I don’t even trust you with a drivers license.”

“Well, good news is there’s a bunch of Foot ninjas getting the snot kicked out of them.”

“YEah, the turtles are back, dudes! I’d give us a ten for style, an eight for skill, and, uh, two, for stealth.”

“Dudes, did anyone get the license plate of the thing that hit us last night?”

“Yeah, it looked like your mom, dude!” “Uh, that would make her your mom too, dufus.” … “Yeah, whatever.”

“So it’s like Haleys Comet, but monsters come out.” “Uh, yes, I guess so!” “Heh. I’m smart.” *crashes*

“And that would be the swirling vortex to another world, i assume.” “Cool! I want one.”

“Winters.” “Looks more like Fall. Heh. Get it?” “Mikey, remember our talk.”

“I’m never usually that happy to be in pain.” “He’s happy because he’s mortal again, Mikey.”

“Yeah, I do nothing. You’re right. You got me all figured out.”

“I’m very disappointed in you, knucklehead! Guess night school’s in session!”

“That was too easy! *crash* … Like I said, too easy!”

“Hey, Casey! Meet me on the roof!” “Raph? What is it?” “The roof. You know what a roof is, dontcha?”

“Oh look at you, you’re so cute! Come here, Imma drop kick you to hurty town!”

“You’re gonna need these if you’re gonna lead us out of here.” “We’re gonna need you too.”

“Typical. We do all the work, he gets all the thanks.”

“Ah, I love bein a turtle.”

“Look, Raph, if you’ve got something you wanna get off your shell, now’s the time. But I’m not gonna sit here and debate Splinter’s direct orders with you!”

“Come to daddy.” *literally has like eight sharp objects now"

“What is it with ninjas and smoke pellets?”

“What’s going on Raph?” “Did I mention that we ran into a monster last night?” “No, you kind of FAILED to tell me about THAT one, buddy!”

“And now we got walking statues? You got a plan for those?!” “Hey, those are a first for me too.”

“And I thought Girl Scouts were pushy!”

“Cody is going to break up with Donna. I just know it.” “We interrupt the Gilmore Girls for this special news report. Monsters loose in the city? Strange reports are coming in tonight about a construction site incident that sounds like something out of science fiction.” “BOYS!”

“Raphael. You always bear the world problems on your shoulders. It is an admirable quality when you are a protector of others. But you must realize that while, at times, you may not be my favorite STUDENT, that does not mean that you are my least favorite SON. You are strong, passionate, and loyal to a fault. These are the merits of a great leader as well. But only when tempered with compassion and humility.”

“Sensei! You alright?” “Hehe. We must do this more often!” *whack* “I still got it!”

“Hey, look guys, I grabbed a toaster!” -Tommy

“I love your work ethic, Tommy, you’re an inspiration to us all.” -Gang leader

“Looks like you got a sidekick.” “Yeah, right. You’re the sidekick.”