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raceweek · 2 years

Text

Alex Albon: Williams driver says ‘you need to be a fighter to be a driver’

BBC SPORT: Andrew Benson

Alex Albon knows what it's like to think he's at the end of the road.

"You're right on that mental edge of panic and worry," he says. "I sat on that worry for so long that you start to not care. You can't panic forever. You can't worry about it forever.

"And I think: 'Well, l've only got to give it my all. I've only got to put everything on the table.'

His story is one of resilience - of numerous knocks through his life from which he has drawn on remarkable reserves of self-belief to bounce back each time.

On his respiratory failure and being dropped from red bull:

"In terms of setbacks, it's a small one really," he says. "I've had very good doctors around me, who were in Italy, to get me back into a good place. I feel very fortunate."

Two years ago, it looked as though Albon's career was coming to an end before it had really got going.

The decision was tough to take.

"I would be lying if I told you I didn't expect it," Albon says. "I felt like I didn't perform that season. I knew there was a strong chance of it happening.

"I had dreamed of being in F1 since I was four years old, almost completely obsessed with it. You inevitably hit this heartbreak where it is like, almost: 'OK, is this the end? And you've only spent two years in it.'

"It's a brutal business - and how quickly everything came about. It was a true fast-track from Toro Rosso into one of the very top teams in the sport and then out. And it was like: 'Wow, OK. It did hit me hard, as it would anyone."

Albon's voice falters as he talks, and his eyes well up a little.

"I remember the meeting," he says. "I remember everything as clear as day. And I have to say, first, I have a very strong network of people. My family. My friends. And people around me that you see today.

"Very quickly, I was back to work. I was in the simulator very early in January. 'OK, what's my job, how am I going to get back into F1?' And I kind of had a goal and a plan to do that.

"I would say I want F1 more than any other driver. Everyone will say that. But I genuinely believe it. And I knew I had to really do what it takes, in a way that was quite strange because I can't actually prove myself. It was almost like, what can you do without driving the car?"

On 2012:

This was far from the first setback of Albon's career. For many years, he had struggled to keep things on track.

Born to a British father - former racing driver Nigel Albon - and a Thai mother, he'd been a Red Bull-backed driver early in his career, but lost their support after an indifferent season in Formula Renault in 2012, caused by a major personal upheaval.

His mum Kankamol - with whom he is particularly close - was jailed for fraud, leaving a 15-year-old Albon to look after his younger brother and three sisters.

He still doesn't like to talk about it. But in the first series of Netflix's Drive to Survive series, he admitted it was "by far the hardest year l've had in my life", recalling how he "saw her get locked up and taken away".

Albon says now the difficult road "helped" when it came to rebuilding his career. "It's just because l've gone through it," he says.

"I've had it before, personal stuff, as well as I had it in Formula Renault, where I wasn't going to race the year after and we scrambled along and pretty much got a budget together within, like, two weeks of the first race.

On his personality and determination:

In person, Albon is modest and unassuming. It's hard to square such an apparently gentle character with the steel he must have required to get where he has.

"The general public get me wrong," he says. "They think I'm this happy-go-lucky kid constantly, and that I'm not hungry; maybe too nice.

"They will never see the fiery side because they don't have a headset. They don't listen to me when I'm driving. I am naturally quite happy. I do love what I do. It's the reason why I wanted to be in F1 so much. And I felt like I've learnt to enjoy and relax about it. But you definitely need a fiery side if you want to be in F1."

I tell him that what got him to this point seems more like steel than fire, and he says: "It's both. It's the resilience and at the same time it's determination.

"As a driver, you almost need to be a fighter. When you have a helmet on, you're fighting other drivers. And I am fired up. I really am not a nice person when I have my helmet on. Speak to the engineers here and they'll tell you that."

On fighting for his return to the grid:

Albon's answer was to throw himself into work behind the scenes with Red Bull. There were weeks, he says, when he would spend six days out of seven in their simulator.

He prepared a data sheet that proved, he said, his results at Red Bull were better than the general perception and "well in line with the people who I took over from or replaced me".

Albon said they showed the 2020 car "wasn't that easy".

At the Austrian Grand Prix in July 2021, he met Williams chief executive officer Jost Capito and gave him the data as he made a pitch for the drive. The sheet, he told Capito, "showed not just what I can bring but also on a pure performance side, I'm a good driver and you should take me".

Williams knew they would need a replacement for Russell, who was being promoted to Mercedes for 2022. In the background, Russell was making Albon's case to the team.

"He played a part for sure," Albon says of his close friend. "He got my name on the map.

"I've raced against George for a lot of my career and I'm in a very thankful position where he does respect or believe in my ability. He did mention my name a few times to Jost and the board; I joked about it but it is true, almost a bit too much, to the point where they said they wouldn't listen to him!"

Marko and Red Bull team principal Christian Horner also weighed in for Albon. "I know that they both also convinced Jost to take me," he says. "I'm sure - I know - that they also told Jost the job that I was doing.

On his support system and marketing:

Outside the car, Albon has revamped his support structure, taking on a manager, and forming a new relationship with a performance coach.

With them, he says he can "talk about offloading marketing stuff as much as I can".

Williams have turned Albon's distaste for marketing activities into a bit of a running joke on their social media channels. He smiles and agrees, but adds: "It's a genuine thing. There is a lot of noise in F1 and I think I most probably got caught up in it a bit too much in 2020. There was a lot of firing going on and I was trying to avoid all the bullets.

"Red Bull were very good to me and were trying to help me and support me, but having that circle around me has allowed me to really focus on the driving side - the thing that I really like.

"I'm much more of a quy who is comfortable with the engineers than in front of a TV camera and that kind of thing.

"With stuff like Daniel and Oscar, to be able to drive with so much talk going around, it's not an easy thing to do," he says. "I think as a rookie, even in 2020, I wish I could tell myself the stuff I know now. But you can't, so hindsight is a wonderful thing."

On 2022:

His performances have been so good it's almost as if Williams have lost Russell and replaced him with the same driver. Albon's advantage over team-mate Nicholas Latifi is almost identical to the one Russell had.

Albon says his focus right from the start at Williams was getting himself back to being the driver he always believed he could be.

"I had a vision of the areas I wanted to work on from back in 2020," he says. "I was like, 'OK, I want to fix my areas almost first and really understand. I've got to get comfortable with the team and all that kind of thing.'

"That's almost slightly separate to the performance of the car and where it was at. I've got to look at myself and really... I wouldn't even call it shake off the rust, but really focus on my development."

In the end, all this introspection and hard work has paid off.

"I can only say that I feel comfortable," Albon says. "I feel confident in the car. I feel confident with myself in the team and I know for a fact that I'm driving better than I did in 2020.

"If I look at it almost selfishly, independently, I feel like the year has gone as good as I could have hoped for."

He hopes, he says, he has proved a point.

#when i tell you i am on the train chewing BRICKS #I MEAN IT #i could cry he’s SOOOOOO #he’s so much more than the nice guy i want to shove this down everyone’s throats #alex albon #suzuka 2022

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eldritch-spouse · 1 year

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What if bregina walked in on her roomie touching herself ? roomie starts teasing her and she’s in disbelief this is actually happening

[HHhhhng- An excuse to write porn with Bregina.]

She's harmless... At least that, right?

Oh for fuck's sake, you can't even lie to yourself, that woman will be the death of you.

"Help me tighten this dress!"; "Where are you going so late?"; "I can't unlock the phone again..."; "Help me fix my room?"; "Can we hang out today? Tomorrow?"; "Hahah, I just thought I could go with you?"-

She just won't let go of you. You didn't think having a monster roommate would be like this. Well, that's a bit a stretch, right? Surely, not every monster is like Bregina, she's just... Quirky? Yeah, that's one very generous way to put it. Beggars can't be choosers, you needed a roommate and she pays the rent on time. Besides, you thought you were making a good choice anyway, even if Bregina is a bit creepy, you feel safer sharing your living space with a monster woman than with a monster man.

Nowadays, you're prone to thinking that maybe having a guy around would have been a less invasive choice.

Not that you regret this. No no, your roommate is very sweet to you- But maybe that's also her biggest flaw. It's like she doesn't know when to stop. She’s trying too hard to be your friend, to make you happy, to do anything and everything she can to ensure your satisfaction. First, you assumed she was some sort of people pleaser, then you worried that the breeder felt guilty about needing help to understand basic day to day life concepts, but now…

Now you’re pretty sure that’s not the case.

Setting your things down on the living room table, your eyes poise on a peculiar gray bag neatly stapled closed. Curiosity beckons a closer look, and a sinking feeling pools in your gut when you see the neat blue note sticking to it.

“ For my angel, from Gina! “

The note is flooded in hearts and poorly drawn smiling faces. Your nickname in particular is circled over and over in an almost frantic manner. God damn it. It’s the fourth one this week, and it’s only Wednesday. Your birthday’s in a couple of months too, so it doesn’t really make sense that she’s showering you with gifts. Well, it does, you just don’t want to acknowledge that right now. There’s too much in your head already.

Carefully prying the bag open, you peek inside, finding some article of clothing. Upon fishing it out, it becomes clear that you're holding a dress. A blue dress that's decidedly form-fitting. And, oddly enough, just by looking at it, you can tell the size is most likely adequate for you. How does she even know this? You don't recall telling Gina-

The laundry. Of course. She insists on doing it, of course she knows your sizes by now. Dumbass.

It's an admittedly cute-looking cut, you have to hand it to her. You remember when you started living with Bregina, she dressed so oddly. Almost like she didn't quite understand clothes or what to match. Then she started copying the types of styles you wore, and now here she is, tactful enough to not only choose things that look gorgeous on her but also gift you a dress that matches perfectly with your body type. All of this what… In the span of a month or two? Quick learner indeed.

Mood lifted by the unexpected present, you strip then and there, eager to put it on. It's comfortable, and although initially seeming a bit tight, it takes you a second to realize that it's hugging all the right places. It pushes your chest up and highlights curves in a way that has you blushing at yourself in front of the bedroom mirror. Well… This one's definitely more bold than the last couple of presents. You fear she might just give you lingerie someday.

Two good pictures later and you stumble back into the living room, practically draped on the couch as you think of what to text your roommate. "Thank you for all these gifts, I feel like a sugar baby"?, "Omg you're so nice to me stop it"?- There's just… What do you even say? She's giving you these things because she has a clearer than water crush on you and you're not even sure if you return these feelings. You know what the breeder wants to hear is an "I love you", but can you say that to her? Can you deal with the consequences?

Part of you feels so very guilty about all this, because you'd hate to shatter her heart, she's genuinely the nicest person you have in your life right now. And you don't want to make her upset, that's the last thing you'd want to do. But the other… The other one likes this attention. Enjoys being wanted, pampered, having someone trip over themselves just to please you. That part would say "I love you" in a heartbeat, just to keep it going.

You don't know. You really don't know what you'll do about this bizarre standstill.

Sometimes however, you like to imagine going further with this. Letting Bregina have just a teensy tiny taste of what she wants, and let yourself pretend that it's real, that you want it too. Maybe you do? This is a tangle of feelings you haven't processed yet.

One thing's for sure. She gives you so much, sometimes you think you wouldn't mind giving back a little. Bare digits ghost the hem of your newly acquired dress, thinking about showing off to her as you edge it up to your hips. You know she’d go wild with a simple glimpse of your panties. You’ve known that ever since you walked around the house in your underwear and Bregina could barely stutter out a word, face so flushed you thought she was going to turn into some kind of blueberry. It didn’t occur to you that it was inappropriate at the time, you’ve always been used to living with other women and being in mild states of undress around each other was never a taboo… The way the monster would lick her lips constantly, shifting her legs and appearing to drool at times, was incredibly unnerving to your oblivious self back then.

Now? Oh, now it just makes you smile bashfully.

You don’t think anyone has ever wanted you as much as Gina does. No one certainly has cuter reactions to your body than her. Maybe you should start playing around with that. You don’t know if it’s the dress making you feel sexy in your own body, or if you’re really that lonely and greatly affected by the simple act of affection from her- Maybe it’s just boredom or hormones, but you start palming at the crux between your legs, closing your eyes. What would it be like to have those large hands touching you anyway? To have her body above yours, doing whatever she wanted to you as “payment” for all her gifts.

Your breathing comes in shorter bursts when you slide the fabric of your damp underwear to the side, one hand coming to grab your breasts while the other traces faster at your button, enjoying the moment, the fantasy, without having to think about what it would actually entail if you allowed such to happen. Bregina would be a good fuck, for sure, with those strong legs to buck onto your face with and fingers big enough to stretch you you, even her impressive rack- You know they’re called breeders, but her sex appeal is so on the nose.

To be frank, you don’t even know if you’d be able to handle a monster woman like her, she might find you underwhelming… You’re surprised she doesn’t have a constant group of admirers trailing after her at all times. That she’s laser-focused on little old you.

You can’t help but moan and toss your head back when the image of her stupidly large tongue stuffed into your cunt manifests itself. You just know it would be a whole new type of heaven on Earth. Does she even know how to eat someone out? You can teach her, she’ll get the hang of it fast just like with everything else. Well, most things that is, she still can’t be trusted with a stove. Or microwave.

The closer you get, the more your hips move, rolling into the motions as you wish you had something a little more convenient to work with. Though, as pleasure slowly morphs into slight frustration, your high fades just enough that you can finally hear your surroundings. Including the ragged panting nearby and the obscene shlick of working fingers that are definitely not your own.

A mortifying dread crawls up your spine as you dare open your eyes, gulping when you finally look ahead and see none other than your roommate at the doorway, creating dents in the wooden door while her other hand is unceremoniously stuffed beneath her skirt. You’re both deplorable. The only difference here is that one of you has not stopped yet and wow she’s actually fucking dripping- Like down to the floor. Jesus. Is that normal for her kind?

You feel extremely awkward that the monster woman is still fucking herself to your flustered, caught red-handed state, though your clit certainly twitches just observing the fevered motions of that clawed pale hand. A lot of precision for someone with sharp digits. This must be sending all sorts of signals to Bregina. You, on the couch, wearing the dress she got for you, playing with your pussy? Yeah, there couldn’t possibly be a more blatant “fuck me” signal than that. You… You thought she wasn’t home! It was so quiet. God damn it. Idiot.

“ Ahahn- Why did you stop? “ She finally says, halting her own motions. You get to see those unbelievably slick digits that she wipes on her skirt- Ew, gross.

“ I- Gina- I didn’t think you’d- “ Didn’t think you’d walk in on me being a fucking pervert.

“ O-Oh, you’re shy! “ She grins so wide and fiendishly that your throat dries up, eyes bulging when the breeder quickly closes the distance. “ I’ll help, don’t worry! “

You can only squawk when she basically slams onto the couch, holding your legs apart. “ H-Hey- “ You’re redder than a cherry.

“ I’m so glad you loved my gift! Had I known you’d like it this much, I would have bought it for you sooner! “

“ I- Uh- T-Thanks? “ You fucking moron, do something already! This is so humiliating.

Her giggling is almost contagious as the monster quickly tugs your dress down, pushing your bra out of the way so your tits can bounce free while she drapes over you, wet fingers already poking at your entrance while that long tail blurs behind her. Your inner turmoil is short-lived as soon as one digit curls inside you. Holy shit.

She must have felt the way you immediately tightened around it, because Bregina moans in glee, delighted when you grab onto her arms for support.

“ H-Hold on tight, angel! “ She pants, bucking a second finger in and nearly making you curl up at the stretch. “ I can’t wait to see you make a mess on your new dress… “

She was right, you do have to hold on, because every delicious plunge of those fingers carries an almost scary level of force behind it, jostling you at the same time that it makes sparks fly through your whole body.

And soon, you’re nothing but a blubbering mess beneath the woman that has been craving this from the moment she set eyes upon you, cooing sweetly.

#Bregina #monster girlfriend #terato #yandere teratophilia

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ruelin024 · 21 days

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*apppears in your askbox like the absolute gremlin i am* mmm a few questions heuehhuehehue fav sans? fav ship (if oyu have one, that includes self insert)? and will you ever do ditys and if so, how long do you think?

😖You've been in my inbox for 5+ days, since for some reason, as simple as the questions are, I couldn't seem to pinpoint my favorites.

Like if you asked me my favorite anime, book, etc. My head goes whoosh then my damn brain turns into a smooth mofo.

Sorry if the reply is too long, I dunno if I went off topic, I probably did?

I love a lot of things… Yes. I would make a list… but then I wouldn’t stop. If I had to settle for one Sans, it’d be OG Classic. The Origin, The Legend, The #1 Tumblr Sexyman, Sans the Skeleton. The other top fav Sans at the top of my list would be Fell, Horror, Lust, and Nightmare, and it goes on.

But to tell yah the truth I am more of a Papyrus Simp, I realize this sometimes whenever I come across any type of OG or AU Papyrus art. It’s a hard choice. My mind and body goes to Sans, but in a way my affection is with both, but mostly Papyrus. I don't know if that makes sense, it feels like two-timing. I should draw more of Papyrus, even out the simping scales. \(￣︶￣*\)

I just love drawings Sans a lot tbh. q(≧▽≦q)

In terms of ships? (I heard the topic of shipping can be complicated or an issue) ... So. Hmm. from what I've self-evaluated to myself. I don't really have a favorite... :D I think? Cause most of the time I choose to neither like nor dislike because love and hate are too strong of an emotion for me to deal with. Disliking things makes me feel tired and I can only handle so much fangirling/boying before my feral emotional levels exceed my capacity to remain conscious. With the amount of words I’ve said so far, I am proving I am a walking contradiction.

Anyway, I'm a welcome all-type of person, I'm neutral as long as no harm is being done. Meaning I am the type to also dabble in a ton of things. (゜-゜) (´◑ω◐`)

(Either I am what I say I am🤔, or I just haven't known/met the wrong people enough in my life to feel the need/want to make a whole DNI list 😅.)

The first ship I drew was y/n x sans au and I have drawn Error and Blue together for a cute ditys. I've been meaning to attempt drawing more ships, but not at the moment.

One insert ship I'm into at this time, that I can recall at the top of my head is an artist called @/mothiepixie (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) 😆💖

Also! I actually made it to 100 followers last month! I wanted to make a dtiys on such an occasion, but someone did a wrist twist move on me and now I can't exert my fingers or wrist that much, so I'm doing doodles or working on past WIP I've already started on ever so slowly.

I haven't gotten the chance to figure out what I’d draw exactly for a dtiys. If I were to make one now, it’d be at least 2-4 months to maybe a whole year in duration, depends.

Would I make prizes? I'd probably give everyone who participated a simple drawn prize for my first DTIYS (maybe☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)), then for the next DTIYSs I would do top 3 or 4-5 five winners.

Welp, tis my answer you absolute gremlin, handing me the most complicated question which I indeed sure overcomplicated and being in the back of my head for the past few days. 🤣👌💕 Thank you! 😂

#answered #thank you for the ask!#i talk too much #sorry for the late reply #hopefully you've got yer answers :D #hopefully this makes sense

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kurosurintomasu · 9 months

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How did giegue become brain damaged giegue?

[Writer's Note: This post took forever to friggin write. It's written in-character as this Purple Guy. Also, it may have a bit more than the answer you'd want. It's very text heavy. If you're using a screen reader, then you're gonna have a bad time, especially whenever there's images. Have a friend read this to you instead. There's gonna be a lot of shit explained, from DG's origins to Gen's life outside of this. So, press Keep Reading if you interested in those sorts of things. Here we go.]

Before I can answer your question, I have to give you a bit of backstory.

My name is Sangen Demoli, but my friends call me Gen. I am a demon. I live in hell as its (technical) ruler. I'm 13.8 billion years old, as I was one of the seven demons that were created along with the universe. My father is BUBBA. Here's a picture of him.

[Writer's note: Bubba (the big black one) and Herbert (the small white one), creators of the Universe. Image dated July 22, 2020. Drawn by @bowbi.]

I'm an easily entertained guy. I created Earth, and some of its inhabitants, such as the Colormen, who were created in my image. For 4.5-ish billion years, I've essentially done nothing but sit on my ass while the current actual ruler of hell, Lucifer, tortures all those sinning souls. Even though I created Earth, and along with it, Hell. Why does he get the awesome giant castle while I have to live in a shitty fucking mobile home?! It's bollocks, I say, bollocks!

(ahem) Anyways, it was only until the mid 80's, Earth years, that I decided to do something with my life. I decided to keep watch on a small, rabbit-ish type creature throughout its life, watching it grow old, and eventually die. It lived in a village, located in a cave, which itself was situated on a floating island. And a couple years later I learned it was actually a he, not an it.

The rabbit-thing's name? I uh. I forgot. All these years going by makes me forget a lot of things. I remember what he looked like though! Lemme just....

There, this is what he looked like. This is... um... the small rabbit-ish guy. I also remember he had a crush on a girl rabbit-y creature for all of his life... her name was... um... Toroko, I think. Can't remember for the life of me what she looked like though.

Anyways, I was like a sort of... guardian angel (guardian demon?) to the little dude. Watched him grow into a fine young man.

But then... disaster. Sometime in Earth year 2003, he was murdered. In cold blood. By... I don't remember, but it was either a red ogre-type thing, or some megalovaniac- I mean megalomaniac scientist wearing an evil hat. I can't recall.

But, he was dead. I grew so attached to this little goober's life, that when I saw his mangled corpse on the ground, I couldn't help but cry.

I also felt like I failed as a guardian. I just. I needed to do something. So started the first of my many "experimental projects". I dubbed this... "Project Doppelganger."

Here's a very basic re-enactment of what I did in the project.

Of course, this is just a basic re-telling. There was no "remake person" machine that I've made... or at least, there was one, but Project Doppelganger took so long to finish because of me having to design, program, and use the machine. And it finally finished... on Earth date July 10, 2003.

It was called Project Doppelganger due to the fact that I basically remade him in my image. Thing about it though, was that while he had his previous personality, he had essentially no memories of his past.

He didn't even know who he was, so I had to make up some sort of fake backstory for him (which I will not get into, as the Project you now know as DG learned exactly who he was back in Earth year 2022, much to his dismay. He hated me for months lmao) just to make him... less confused as to who he is.

What does this have to do with "Giegue?" though? I'm getting to it.

Essentially, after Project Doppelganger, I never experimented with these sorts of "Creation/Recreation of life" projects. I've made strange inventions, such as a Shard Finder, but nothing as massive as Project DG.

That was, up until earlier this year. DG was playing this game. It was called EarthBound. I saw him get up to the final boss. The little runt on the screen in the spider mech, Porky Minch, unleashed what I can only describe as a horrorterror found in a childrens game from the 90's.

I asked DG what this whole deal was, and he just... started explaining all of the lore. Like, all of it. From the whole "George and Maria" bullshit, to whatever the "Seven Needles" plotline is, and even treating a fanmade project known as "Cognitive Dissonance" as if it were official canon, and basically explaining that as well.

When I asked him what was up with the horrorterror on my screen, he lit up even more and started gushing about this "Giygas" character, as I know know it is named. He continuously talked about his species, and continued to gush on about how it was underutilized canonically or whatever.

So, after all that, he told me "Man, I wish aliens were real," sorta like that Splatoon "I wish squids were real" meme. But... that gave me an idea.

I went home, and started brainstorming.

Now, lemme ask you this. Have you ever heard of an "alternate universe" before? Of course you have, this is Tumblr, for crying out loud.

Basically, there are multiple universes held in one entire Multiverse. Millions upon billions of them, even. And each of those universes have multiple alternate timelines. Think Homestuck. Doomed timelines, and allat.

So, I did a bit of research, and found an alternate universe, much like the universe the MOTHER series takes place. And in it, an alternate, doomed timeline where...

The chosen four, Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo. They were all dead. Killed before they could pray the Universal Cosmic Destroyer out of existence.

And tens of thousands of years passed by with Giygas being this... amorphous brainless horrorterror, not knowing what he is doing, having no control over his actions....

What did I do about it?

I put him in a bag. Like, a tote bag or whatever. Just, shoved him inside.

So, I had Giygas now.

Kept him in a jar, like a bunch of preservatives, or pickles, or other... unsavory fluids. What was I gonna do with him now? I had no clue.

Then, DG's words echoed through my brain. He's only like this because he "...was torn to shreds, molecule by molecule, due to high amounts of stress, anger... and PSI power."

I then knew what I had to do. I asked myself, "Y'know what'd be funny?", and started work on my first "Creation/Recreation of life" project in 20 years, "Project: Reconstruction," named after the "Reconstructed X" enemies from Mother 3.

I gave myself two rules for the project, however. The first one? NO PSI. If PSI was one of the main factors of him becoming the UCD, then I'd think I'd rather prevent that from happening to the VOIDLANDS.

Rule 2? No prior memories. Mostly because I don't want some evil guy roaming around punching people or whatever just because he doesn't have PSI. Also, those daddy-issue memories are one of the other main factors of his... self-destruction. Once again, better safe than sorry.

Anyways, I essentially had no point of reference on what he used to look like, so I basically went on the internet and cross-referenced a whole lot of shit, like the Spriters Resource, Giygas-based Tumblr blogs such as askgiegueandcrew, and... well... Highly unsavory artwork posted on that one furry art site (you know the one) just to get a basic reference for what I wanted him to look like.

[Writers' Note: askgiegueandcrew was/is my main point of reference for whenever I draw Gieegs (though it now has a major touch of my own art-style put in it whenever i do draw them)]

I even drew a blueprint of what I wanted out of Project: Reconstruction.

Here it is. Now, if I had the vision I wanted perfectly fine, then by the project's completion, Earth Date July 10, 2023, it would look a lot like this, now wouldn't it? Then, why don't you tell me...

WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!?!?!

I kid, of course, I know exactly why.

I took a lot of shortcuts.

A lot of them, in fact.

As I was putting him back together, molecule by molecule, I wanted to be pretty lazy, so I took a lot of them, but just enough to get it to this sort of "acceptable" state. These shortcuts led to a lot of the things you Hellsite Browsers know him for, his dead/blind left eye, his... being shorter than I thought he'd be... the fact that some of his limbs are still very... Giygas-y, red mist-type stuff... And, to answer the original question, his major high-functioning autism. (Though, to be fair, there were also no mind pieces to be found, so I had to make do with other pieces.)

None of these disabilities hurt him, per se, he's living pretty happily I'd say. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

What did I decide to do to celebrate this "successful" project?

Give him to DG as a gift! I mean, it was the 20th anniversary of Project Doppelganger, wasn't it?

I'll let the following images speak for themselves.

Needless to say, DG was not at all happy with me. But then I explained what I did and, while still sort of pissed at me for BRINGING WHAT WAS ONCE THE UNIVERSAL COSMIC DESTROYER TO HIS HOUSE AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT, he calmed down a bit. They live together now. I dont wanna say DG's happy about it, but I think he's happy about it.

And now, to answer your question, for realsies this time...

#still an artist #writing practice #in character #VOIDLANDS #DG #sangen demoli #earthbound #earthbound beginnings #cogdis #giegue #giygas #gieeg #cave story #long post

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nightfall-by-jacqui-natla · 10 months

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6. INTRODUCTIONS

AS WE CRUISED DOWN THE HIGHWAY, the hum of the Mercedes engine lulled me into a sense of security. It had been forty-five minutes since we left the airport, and I couldn't help but marvel at how quickly my life had changed. Just a few hours ago, I was a regular person, going about my business. But now, I was a bloodthirsty monster, thanks to Victoria and her deadly skills.

The memory of the three men who followed me to a back alley still sent shivers down my spine. But with Gabriel, Joseph, and Simon by my side, I felt safe. There was something about them that exuded strength and security. Simon, in particular, had a warmth about him that put me at ease.

Gabriel, the leader of the coven, commanded respect with his mere presence. And Joseph, with his tough persona, was someone you wouldn't want to mess with. Despite only knowing them for a few seconds, it felt like I had known them for a lifetime.

As we continued on our journey, I couldn't help but wonder what other surprises awaited me in this new world. But with my newfound companions, I knew I was ready for anything.

Gabriel sat in the driver's seat, his hands gripping the steering wheel with a sense of purpose. Joseph sat next to him, his eyes scanning the darkened road ahead. I sat in the back with Simon, the silence between us palpable. As we drove, I couldn't help but watch the road zooming by, the world outside a blur of motion.

But then, my eyes were drawn to the night sky, where the full moon shone bright and bold. It was a beautiful sight, but it was quickly overshadowed by the howling in the distance. My heart raced as I swallowed nervously, my anxiety slowly rising. I hoped it wasn't them.

"Don't worry about them, Violet," Joseph's voice broke through the silence, making me turn my head. "Those Children of the Moon won't bother us."

"Children of the Moon?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"That's what they're called," Joseph replied, his voice calm and steady.

I couldn't help but wonder what he meant by that. Were they some sort of mythical creature? I had heard stories of werewolves and shapeshifters, but I never thought they could be real.

"I think I saw them when I was hiding from the newborn army," I explained my theory about the so-called Children of the Moon. "They were like huskies, except bigger."

Gabriel, who was driving, shook his head. "Those aren't the Children of the Moon."

I felt dumb for my mistake, but I was still curious. "So, what were the things I saw when the newborns were attacked at the battle?"

"Those are shapeshifters," Gabriel explained. "They can change into a wolf at any time, anywhere. The Children of the Moon don't have a choice."

"So, the Children of the Moon are the proper werewolves," I said, trying to wrap my head around it all.

Joseph nodded. "They change at the full moon, but the silver bullet thing is just a myth perpetuated by Hollywood."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "You're telling me that all those movies I've seen are wrong?"

Joseph shrugged. "Mostly."

As we continued on our journey, I couldn't help but wonder what other myths and legends were actually true. And I couldn't help but feel grateful that I was in the company of these three vampires, who seemed to know more about the world than any human ever could.

Gabriel delved deeper into the topic of werewolves, his voice low and serious. "I once had a friend who was attacked by a werewolf. The creature nearly killed him. Ever since then, he's been consumed with a burning hatred for them. He wants to see them wiped out completely."

Simon interjected, his tone skeptical. "But didn't you say it was a shapeshifter?"

Gabriel hesitated, his memory failing him. "Actually, I can't quite recall. He hates them both, I suppose."

As they spoke, I found my mind wandering to the topic of sunlight. I remembered Riley's warning to the newborns, cautioning us against exposing ourselves to the sun. I turned to Gabriel with a question.

"What happens if we're exposed to sunlight? Do we burst into flames?"

Simon shook his head. "No, we don't. I had the same question when I was turned. We can be in the sun, just not in the way I thought."

Gabriel looked sheepish as he spoke up. "We... sparkle."

I was taken aback. "Sparkle? What do you mean?"

Joseph chimed in, his voice resigned. "It's true. We sparkle like diamonds in the sunlight."

I couldn't believe it. "So instead of burning in a fiery pit of hell, we turn into walking disco balls?"

Gabriel chuckled. "I suppose you could say that."

As the conversation continued, I found myself growing curious about their ages. "How old are you guys?"

Simon spoke first. "Physically, I'm thirty-one. But in reality, I'm four hundred and eighteen."

Joseph followed suit. "I was turned at twenty-nine, and I'm about to be three hundred and ninety-three."

Gabriel smirked. "I've got them beat. I was thirty-eight when I was turned. Four hundred and forty...four hundred and forty AD, that is. I'm at least sixteen centuries old."

I was stunned. "That's...that's ancient."

Joseph chuckled. "You sure like to talk."

I shrugged. "I'm just trying to get to know you guys."

The car was enveloped in a thick blanket of silence, the kind that makes you feel like you're suffocating. It was only for five minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Just when I thought the silence would never end, Simon's voice broke through the stillness.

"Violet," he spoke to me, and I turned to look at him. "How old are you in human years?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. We were still talking about ages? Despite my annoyance, I answered him. "Seventeen."

"That is young. How did you become a vampire?"

I took a deep breath and began to recount my story. "Well, I ran away from Forks because of my useless dad. He didn't care about me. I arrived in Seattle, and then three bikers started following me. That's when a vampire female named Victoria jumped in and saved me. She complimented me on not seeing her when she attacked them, and then she bit me. And the rest is history."

"Victoria?" Gabriel interrupted me. "Does she have red curly hair by any chance?"

I was taken aback by his question. "Yes? You knew her?"

"I knew of her. I invited her to my coven, but she refused. I've heard she's dead."

I nodded, remembering what I had been told. "Yeah, I was told that Edward killed her."

"Carlisle told you that, didn't he?" Gabriel asked, his eyes still focused on the road.

I nodded again, feeling a sense of unease settle in my stomach. I didn't know what to expect from this coven. Would they like me? Were they gifted like me? My eyes flicked back to Gabriel, his golden eyes still fixed on the road.

"How many are there?" I asked, trying to break the tension.

"There are six of us," Simon answered. "Gabriel, Joseph, me, Helena, Rhona, my wife Alana, and her son Ethan. Although, Toshiro did stay for a while until he left."

"Why did he leave?" I asked, curious.

"Because he didn't like the idea of drinking animal blood," Simon replied.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over me. At least I wouldn't be the only one drinking animal blood.

As I sat in the car impatiently, Carlisle's words echoed in my mind. Animal blood. The thought alone was enough to make my throat burn. I couldn't help but ask Gabriel about it.

"You all drinking animal blood?" I questioned, my curiosity piqued.

Gabriel's response was unexpected. "I was used to drinking human blood only," he admitted. "It's like becoming an addict. You don't know when to stop. And then, it took over your life and became the only thing you depend on."

I listened intently as he continued his story. "Many centuries forward, I was getting thirsty and I couldn't bring myself to kill a human. Then, I saw a deer walking through the woods, and I killed it."

I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe as Gabriel spoke. "And that's how you discovered it?" I probed.

"Yes," he confirmed. "It tastes as good as human blood. So I decided to have this blood as my diet."

As I listened to Gabriel's tale, I couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for his self-control. It was a testament to his strength of character that he had been able to resist the temptation of human blood for so long. And yet, at the same time, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. The thought of drinking animal blood was still a foreign concept to me, and I couldn't help but wonder what other secrets the world of vampires held.

The words of the ancients had left me parched, my throat ablaze with a fiery thirst. I rubbed at my neck, trying to ease the ache that had settled there. Joseph's gaze flicked to me, his eyes narrowing in concern.

"Your eyes," he murmured, "they're black as pitch. When was the last time you fed?"

I shook my head, the dryness in my throat making it hard to speak. "I don't know," I managed to rasp out. "Maybe twelve hours ago."

Gabriel's voice cut through the silence that followed. "That won't do. You need to hunt before we meet the coven. Epping Forest has plenty of deer to sate your hunger."

The car veered off the motorway and onto a winding road that led into the heart of the forest. As we drove deeper into the woods, I could feel my senses sharpening, my body preparing for the hunt to come.

Continue to 7. EPPING FOREST

#twilight saga #twilight #chapter six #vampires vs werewolves #vampires #vampire #werewolf #childrenofthemoon #london #introduction #getting to know you #getting to know me #fanfiction #fanfic #original character #original fiction #nightfall #newborn #book one

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missoneminute · 2 years

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The Libs were always very much about the relationship of P and C. I therefore think it isn't a really good idea to tell the world: nah, it is all about girls. How boring, even if it is true. I also don't like the front cover. Why does he sell himself as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth? Not sure if P is really interested in his own products. But o.k. let's think some positive thoughts; thank you so much for your thoughts, always worth reading; have a nice weekend.

Hello! Oh it’s not just that I promise haha - he also discusses several songs they wrote for each other or about each other, such as the ones that are well established (Can't Stand Me Now, Likely Lads), some that are in contention, like Bang Bang You're Dead which he declares is 'totally about me!'

He talks about how New Love Grows on Trees is about Carl, and tells the story of the argument they had that inspired Death on the Stairs, which left Carl so upset he cried. He says Fuck Forever was a response to Likely Lads as well. With Waterloo, he explains that the way it was written, was Carl wrote lyrics in response to the lyrics in the song that were about him, though he doesn't explain which those are, other than the opening line. He also doesn't say which ones Carl wrote, but Carl has said before that the second verse is his, which makes sense in terms of the perspective. He just also says he wrote it to impress a girl. With What a Waster, he says that 'she writes down all her dreams' was about Francesca, however he has explicitly stated otherwise multiple times, so I dunno what that's about. Overall though he said the song is about himself. There's a couple other songs mentioned that I can't now recall. I have no words for Carry On Up The Morning, but I chose to pretend I never read that haha. There are some great moments if you want P+C content - for instance, Peter explains the origin of the nickname Biggles, which as we long assumed, came from the Biggles books, as Carl had a small collection of them, and his nickname was originally 'Piggles' to go with Biggles. He tells a cute story about them sharing shoelaces, and how Carl would always hand Peter his plate of food to finish, something he apparently still does to this day. Or how Carl invited him over to his house before the Hyde Park show and how touched he was to be invited. There's various stories about Carl coming to rescue him in dire situations, and an afternoon they spent in bed watching Casablanca. As a reader and a fan I would have liked a LOT more of that stuff, and in way more detail, but it does breeze through those years pretty speedily. And weirdly Katia is in it basically not at all - there's just a handful of lines. So it's an odd one, and I think I am wading through my general disappointment as to how it was handled as a whole, not just the Carl elements, but it's all pretty wishy-washy and truncated feeling, which seeing the format isn't a surprise. I mean my expectations were low, to be honest, but I think I would have preferred less of the same old bitching about the industry machine and how he really wrote most of the songs and actually see into his life some, but that didn't really happen, other than with the drug elements, which are the most vividly drawn. x

#asks

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thekingofthieves · 2 years

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Hey Kurama👋 have 3 questions:

Have you watched the snapcube sonic fan dubs

In your fox form do you ever get the zoomies

What was the funniest thing you ever experienced (so funny that you actually started belly laughing)

Hello there! Oh, multiple questions this time, hm? Well let's see here...

1. I'm afraid I haven't heard of that before. :o Doing a quick search, it appears to be people doing improvised lines over the cutscenes... Hm, in all honesty, I'm not sure if this would appeal to my sense of humor, but I did only look at a small moment of one, so I very well could be wrong. As of right now, I'd say I don't plan to watch them, but I may change my mind at some point in the future.

I am a fan of the Sonic series itself, though! I'd say my favorites are Team Dark- I doubt it's a surprise I'm drawn towards a group with a thief character, haha. It's also kind of astounding to me the sheer amount of similarities Shadow has to Hiei- even down to having a sweet sister in blue. I admit, I do have an extra strong fondness for this character solely because of how much he's like Hiei. :)

🌹

2. Haha, I suppose getting the "zoomies" would be an accurate statement. I've always really loved running through nature, and there's something particularly appealing about it when I'm in my fox form. Perhaps it's because of how much bigger the world looks and feels, with the trees towering over me even more than usual. Plus, I love the way the wind flows through my hair, so experiencing that all over my body is quite nice.

Sometimes if I'm feeling a little restless, I'll shift into my fox form just to take a run. I also often get the desire to do so when its snowing, since I spent a lot of my early life in cold climates- especially once I gained my plant manipulation abilities, as I enjoyed training my powers in such environments. Many plants are less inclined to grow and be manipulated with youki in the cold, so I found the added difficulty to be quite fun. So I suppose winter makes me feel quite nostalgic for that time, heh.

🌹

3. Oh dear, funniest memory in all of my few thousand years? I think that'd be hard to pin down, and I'm sure there's a good few I can't recall at the moment... So, I'll go for a recent story.

There's been a few times where I've convinced Hiei to play strip poker with me. I'm quite skilled at card games, so I already usually excel against him, but there was one game in particular where I was still fully clothed while he was almost completely naked across from me. Finally he had won one round, and smirked at me as he said "shirt. off." With me being who I am though, I kept full eye contact with him as I slowly slipped off a shoe and tossed it aside, haha. I was almost afraid he was going to burn the cards again, but thankfully he didn't.

That, however, wasn't the moment that made me bust into a fit of laughter. I only explained that as it was surely the catalyst for what happened the next time I had asked him to play strip poker with me. Hiei agreed to play, but in a moment, so I shuffled the cards in the meantime. He was taking longer than I expected, but I could still feel his energy in the house, so I didn't worry about it and just waited for him to return. And when he did, he... well, he looked kinda like this:

Except it looked even more ridiculous, what with it being Hiei, and many of my clothes being much too big for him. I actually laughed so hard it started to hurt. 😂 I went with it for the game since it was too hilarious. And I did get a significant amount of the clothes off of him as we played, but I most certainly didn't win that time, haha.

#words of the king #kurama #youko kurama #shuichi minamino #hiei #kurahi #yyh #yu yu hakusho #ask blog #yyh ask blog

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fenlock · 8 months

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Strange dream, may have been astral. Recording to look back on later.

I remember driving in the nearby city, the road and buildings along it were familiar and I know I've dreamed the exact same road. It doesn't exist in real life though.

Some sort of jump, or time skip, and I was in a shop. I distinctly remember feeling weird about it, because I knew I had just been driving and had no memory of actually parking or entering any shops. It was very fae-themed, and I again got the feeling I'd been there before, aware of the layout and knowing there were multiple rooms.

I went into a side room, to the right (I think?) of the main entry. Looked at a few items, only to get drawn into conversation with an employee, an older woman. She was sitting behind a cashier desk, which again felt strange as you'd think check-out would be done by the door and not in a side room. We made small talk, then she offered me a small glass pendant, deep blue with a horselike 'head' protruding from the front. I think it had something to do with horses as well, some type of magic or charm? I recall her saying "wild horses" anyway. Paid for it, then she offered me tea. I accepted, but was leery, the vibes of the shop felt off and taking food or drink seemed like an unwise decision.

Some more conversation. I remember socks? Long and dark gray, very thick like alpaca fur. Parted ways from the employee, only to be approached by a man. More talk about horses, this time rescuing them I believe. Aromatherapy was mentioned for sure, and herbalism for their health.

Another skip. I don't remember the end of my conversation with the man, but was in the same place, a small corner of a room with comfortable brown chairs. I got up to leave, and saw three people approaching through some type of screen or mirror. Was suddenly outdoors, in the back of a cart of some kind, while the three people stepped through a frame-type structure. First two were strange, one non-human with furry ears and an animal face (can't remember what kind. I think something small, maybe hamster or rabbit?). He was vague, I couldn't tell what exactly he was there for or what he wanted (can't remember what he said at all, now I'm awake, just that it was vague and I felt frustrated). Second one chimed in, but again why they were approaching me was unclear. Some sort of rant against another person (Fiddlesticks? Started with a F and had a sticks/styx sound at the end). Both got distracted and started tussling in the grass. Third person finally stepped forward, feminine with pale purple hair and a light southern accent. She said something about training my powers or abilities, and there was some kind of glow at her fingertips. The cart began to move, heading toward some kind of settlement.

Time skip, maybe? It was evening, instead of daylight like before, and I was still in the cart. I think there were small cottages around the path, but few and far between. A town, but definitely not crowded. Some kind of large, manufactured pool of water, extremely long and rectangular. The cart began to travel across it, not on top of the water but not fully sinking either. Water level came up roughly to the top of my chest. As the cart grew close to the opposite side, I got the feeling it was going to dive, and when it came back up it would be a new place, potentially dangerous. I know I did not want to go wherever it was heading. Had the idea of water > portal > waterhorses, and called out to some of my friends. The water got extremely dark, practically black, but I could tell something was different, and the feeling of dread went away.

Resurfaced in a new place, as expected. A huge field, still evening time, with lots of open pavilions strung with fairy lights. Festival vibes. Five of my kelpie companions were waiting a short distance away from the pool, far enough out of the way for the cart to come onto land but still close and intimidating. I hopped out of the cart, calling the kelpies my lovelies (as I do haha), felt/heard someone concerned they were glamouring me, but no one attempted to stop me. Very much an aura of confusion from the people nearby when I approached the kelpies without harm and was allowed to pet and croon over them.

Walked around a bit with my "guards", exploring the festival. Someone yelled something about why tf were there murderhorses roaming about, sounding annoyed rather than concerned, and I recognized the voice as someone I knew (not someone I know while awake, conscious, but I recognized him immediately in dream). Peered around Es so the person (a blonde man, appearing maybe in his 30s, long black coat) could see me and cheekily replied they were there for me and my comfort/protection. An immediate look of fond exasperation of the face of the man, very much an "ofc it was you" type of look.

Woke up shortly after this. I don't remember the end, but I think the blond man and I talked?

#dream journal

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hlmowrer · 8 months

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Week 29: Life is interesting, except when it's not

I don't have a lot of commentary for this week. Since I've been in Michigan, I've often called family members and asked what's new...only for them to tell me that not all that much has changed. This has always thrown me for a loop, since mission life always brings something new/interesting/weird to talk about on the daily. However, this week, I really don't have very much to say. Sometimes, the secret to life is to keep enduring what comes your way.

Those of you that have good memories may recall my first letter from Kalkaska, in which I talked about Emily, the grandmother of a big family in our branch. I included the following comments in that letter:

On Saturday we visited Emily, the elderly matriarch of a big family in our branch for dinner who had been asking for missionaries. She's on hospice care now, and has late stage dementia so she had great difficulty keeping even a simple conversation. For much of the dinner she had very little to say and couldn't answer questions. But then Elder Jorgensen asked her what she thought the most important thing about life was, and she could NOT say enough about how much she loves the Gospel and the Church. With help from her granddaughter she told us how she was one of the first female missionaries in California, and how hard she tried throughout her life to support the missionaries and share the joy the Gospel brought her. I felt the spirit so strongly around her, and I cannot tell you how much joy it brought me to see someone who has truly endured to the end. I pray she gets to go home and reap the rewards of her hard work on this Earth soon. I shared the following verse from the Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 31:20.

20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

I told her how proud I was of her for being one of the precious souls to actually fulfill her baptismal covenant to endure to the end. I bore testimony of the experience in church on Sunday as I introduced myself to the branch, and teared up as I did it. It wasn't the most dignified thing I've ever done but the spirit was present in the room for sure, and I think her family was touched.

Emily passed away a few days ago, and I was reminded of this truth. I've been very bad at being patient with God's timing lately. I want things to move forward and happen, and sometimes they just don't. But I teach people every day about the doctrine of Jesus Christ, which ends with the divine command to "endure to the end". This life is long, and despite our efforts there are seasons when not a whole lot happens to boost us up. These times feel drawn out and rather useless...at least as far as we can see. Every piece of our precious mortal lives are important, and these times can help us endure towards our return to our Heavenly Father just as much as the interesting and victorious times can. For me, the memory of a lifelong missionary finally reaping the eternal rewards of a century of faith in her Savior has at least helped me think about the reality of my life. I was the very last missionary Emily ever met, and I can't help but think the Lord would like me to find meaning in that.

I think I'll leave it there, friends. All my love to you this week. <3

-Elder Beren Mowrer

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anderstiaagain · 10 months

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OC TAG GAME! I was tagged by: @asuraid

✨ favorite oc ✨

Alex! I mean, it's a bit of a grey area because he's a player character, but hey, I've dumped so much into him that it counts adtfdhg. He's a walking contradiction of being an absolutely horrible person but also such a housewife to those he does love in that fucked up heart of his--

⏳ oldest oc ⏳

Either May or Kinnae, honestly I can't recall which I made first. They were both around 7-8th grade? I really want to revamp May's design now that I'm trying to force myself to stop just making my designs practical and boring haha. I'm still working on that.

❣️newest oc❣️

That I've put any thought into? Willow! I really want to do more with her, she's so fun. .... well, not her personality, she's blunt and a bitch, but she's fun to mess around with ideas for asdgtjnfgh

💥 meanest oc 💥

Depends on the definition of mean. Verbally? Willow. In actions? Alex. Alex has a list of horrific crimes that probably more looks like a list of what crimes there are to commit, but to his friends and loved ones he's chill and nice. Willow (probably) won't physically hurt you but she'll call you pathetic in a tone that sounds like she's making a boring observation instead of engaging with you.

💘 softest oc 💘

............. so the fact that I don't actually have any 'soft' OCS probably says something about me huh.

☢️ most aloof/standoffish ☢️

Syren. He only just beats out Willow, but he wins this one just by virtue of also being not human so he's even further removed from the crowd (which suits him just fine, he just wants to have a nice relaxing life and not have to deal with shit like personal relationships)

🎉 dumbest oc 🎉

I'd have to say Alex- He's not dumb, honestly he's wicked smart in some aspects, but he does some really dumb shit. Like will play with fireworks while drunk kind of stupid shit. Or honestly any of the times he plays with fire. He has so many scars from playing with fire in stupid ways.

✔️ smartest oc ✔️

If we're going with booksmart, I'd have to say Adrian. Who I haven't even drawn since like middle school, but she's May's friend. She's the 'pressured by family to get straight A's' kind of girl who can probably recite an encyclopedia... and does so to try to avoid nervous breakdowns.

👼 ocs i’d be friends with 👼

none of the fleshed out ones they're all awful oKAY-

#do i love my ocs? yes #would i be around any of them? hell no

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1111jenx · 3 years

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PICK A DEVON AOKI

—JENX TAROT READING

@ The power you hold. A thorough read into your energy.

check out my previous PAC I & II & III

Hey there pretty its Jenx again🤍 I'm back at it again with another tarot reading for you guys! Early today I gave you guys 3 choices and it seems that you guys love this one the most! And ofcourse after some *serious contemplation* I gave in and hence, this post is now visible to y'all🥳 Please keep in mind that since I’m reading for a lot of y'all, some would resonate more while the others might not with some specific details as I’m channeling certain images and different things as well:) Have fun reading loves

Pick one of the images above, remember their numbers (1 — 4 from left to right) & scroll down to read your tailored reading. As you pick between the images, think about yourself and yourself only, about all the past you you can recall, focus in the you in the moment and your highest potentials, then use your intuition to pick one.

Pile 1

Good morning Pile 1🤍 How are my gorgeous beings doing today? Now I'm not going to lie to you. As I was shuffling your cards, I heard "pretty" and I couldn't stop giggling haha, just when I was done shuffling, I heard "aesthetic". So I think you guys are some beautiful human beings, physically. And before people get to know you on a personal level, others can not help but drawn to your enigmatic energy. There's this charm about you that feels very personal. Like you guys may have a very noticeable presence, where you would enter a room and people would just stop talking and turn to look at you or act like they're on their phone but are actually sneaking a peek at ya haha that's so wholesome! You guys have this light to you too, that feels very bright, luminous like the Sun. So yes, I do sense that a lot of you guys have Leo, Aries placements, along with Aquarius, Virgo, Venus energy (very Venusians for some reason too, but mix with subtle earth!!) and I'm even feeling some Sagittarius placements? So so much fire for sure! You guys make me feel so pretty? Just by reading your cards for some reason. So I think you are great at making people feel good about themselves, I'm hearing that you always know what to say and when to say it. Now this doesn't mean you're kissing others asses though. No it's not that. You're just being you? That's what I heard. "Why bring more pain and suffer into the world when you can bring love and light into it?" huh, you radiate goddess vibes my loves. I think you guys are some serious developed people though. Spiritually and mentally. Your spirit is so radiating and contagious, I think you draw a lot of fire placements to you too!! Perhaps a little earth and water if you're feeling adventurous. But fire for sure. I can't stop smiling reading your cards. What is it that you're doing to me now? You guys make me feel so at ease and relaxed. So I think while you are a very fiery person by all means, in the sense that you're never afraid to chase after things you deem as yours. I'm seeing that you don't even mind chasing people romantically either!! That's some inspiring stuff right there. Never let people dim your lights my love. If anything, you know in your heart, you earn your crown.

See the thing about you guys that intrigue me is that you look very self-involved and self-centered at times, or it may come off to people that you just met that you're very shallow and you're nothing but "another pretty face" but I know damn well they're wrong. You're not dumb. Thats the thing though. Thats why I can't stop smiling like an idiot reading your cards. You're anything but mediocre and stupid. I'll even argue that you guys are some of the most interesting energy I have ever encountered, the kind of energy I surround myself with in real life. You guys are very, whats the word, socially smart. In social context, you fucking thrive. This doesn't mean you don't have your down moments babies, I can see that you clearly have some issues, especially things that have to do with your past and your loved ones, yet you push them down very hard and these issues only show themselves once I have seen all of the brightest cards of your qualities and power. You guys know when to dumb it down. You guys know exactly when to play stupid or act oblivious but you see EVERYTHING. A random person tries to one up you because they think you're gullible and too narrow-minded? Think again, you're already 10 steps ahead. Not only are you smart in social context, you know how to seize opportunities like no others. And it seems like, under your spell, things just align? Thats what I'm hearing. I think you guys are powerful manifestators. You guys are born to make the hard decision in life, to use you personal charm and, "manipulation"? HAHAHA, your spirit guides are wild, just like you. But yes, you're anything but stupid and that message is so so clear I can not ignore it. I think you have the power to bring people together but you also have the power to drag people from one another together. To heaven and to hell. You guys are very calculating people deep down and I can see how you guys are the one thats going to be up top in this society, the one that make the hard decision. Your visions are worldly and you don't just see things for what it is but you can see things for what they can be along with whats needed to be done for that outcome. I'm seeing that you guys are spectacular at seeing potentials in things, at finding the raw gems. Business executives abilities are coming out very strong as well as a lot of creativity.

Do you guys know how shock I was upon entering your energy? You guys remind me so much of my closest friends haha, I can see the you can have this very detached side to you thats really unique too. It's like once you deem that someone no longer have your best interest at heart, and that they're blocking your journey to finding your best self, you are not afraid of cutting them off. People might think this is cold-blooded of you. But take it from someone who struggle with this for the longest time and finally did it for once, you guys are doing great. Never apologize for doing what serves you and your purpose. Your non attached attitude is admirable and I truly see you guys becoming the leaders, the one that inspire others. You guys represent a Queen, by all means. I think some of you even take pride in your background or your family too, or even your personal achievements. And as you should though. You went to the moon and back for this. You spent nights working and carrying so much responsibilities on your shoulder. Others think of you as the villain? Who cares what they think now love? I know it does bother you from time to time, we are merely human in the end and your feelings are valid. But close your eyes for a second for me, think about what and who you truly value in this world? You see what I'm seeing? Exactly. You're at your throne surrounded with your loved ones and your achiements. These people, these toxic jealous energy does nothing but slow you down. Do not give them even a second of your time. Your earned this. All of this. Every second of this. For the longest time ever, I know that you were held back by such bad energies. For the longest time ever I see that you too, were just like me, felt as if you can never leave that one hell of a place. You moved on. You left that place, that situation and that person. And thats bravery to me. I'm feeling that you have even made peace with your past to an extent, when you think of it now, you focused on what you brought out of it instead of what happened to you. Do you know how beautiful your soul really is? I know that you still struggle with truly letting yourself falling for someone completely again but I can feel them approaching you. I can feel that as you live your life like the champion you are, as you live your life with all the passion that is you and your dreams, you're going to expand to lands you never thought of, meeting people you never knew you could have met. Trust yourself. Speak your truth. Let your voices be heard because I can see in the past you couldn't. Yell if you want to, roar if you feel called to. Express yourself and your thoughts unapologetically and know that your guides and the Universe and me too, honour every bit that makes you you.

— 🪐

Pile 2

Good morning my heart breakers, how are y'all doing today;)? Haha don't act so surprised, let's dive right in. I'm feeling a lot of earth energy surrounding you guys but also Aries/Mars, Libra, Pisces/Jupiter and Sagittarius and theres a hint of Gemini here and there🥰 I think number "9" can be very significant to some of you guys too! Nevertheless, you guys are som real free spirits. Your soul is young and refreshing in the midst of today's darkness. I hope you know how interesting you are as a person. I haven't seen such a bright yet complex and complicated energy like this recently now haha. First of all, I think you guys are freaking amazing with people. Very much like Pile 1, you always brighten up any conversations and people enjoy your sincerity and humility a lot. You also have this childish charm to you in the sense that you're not afraid to march in to the world and start fresh again. It feels to me like your mind holds a lot of power. You have this healing energy to you that feels so different but familiar to me. Is it possible because you know what its like to build things up from ground 0 again? Is it possible that you have a heart of gold because you know what its like to reached rock bottom? Nevertheless, I can see that while you are fighting your own demons and dealing with your own darkness. To the point where I think you guys might have even experiencing some distress, where you lose sleep over it. But for some reason, you carry your own burden and you wake up another day, being everyone else favourite cheerleader. I think that different to Pile 1, you guys feel like you're more soulful if that makes sense. Theres this thing about you where you value integrity and honesty above all else, to the point where you're never afraid to sacrifice yourself for a cause. You guys are the voices of society. You guys are the one that brings attention and the rebel that force higher authorities to face reality. You guys live with so much passion in your heart for the people and for the community. I think you guys have the resources for it too. If you are with a partner right now, I can surely say that your relationship is divinely supported. Your person, just like you, have core values that they hold very close to their heart and I think they too, care about the societal issues that bother you so much. You guys feel progressive to me, you guys feel ethereal to me.

I can't pinpoint exactly what it is that make me feel so right? You guys have the minds of the greatest philosophers and the heart of a fighter. Despite dealing with your own battles, you never forget to sprinkle a little more kindness into this world. Haha now you guys make me emotional. I'm so sorry that you always feel like you need to watch your back. I'm so sorry that you always feel that you need to work harder to secure yourself, to protect your stability. Is that why you value honesty so much? Is it because you're so afraid of being lied to again? I can definitely see how this is an issue to you. I just heard "family" and I'm seeing a very specific image of a man cheating on a woman and he was confronted by her. I just want to give you guys a hug. I can see how big your heart is despite not even knowing you. I can feel the love you're radiating out of fear of not being lovable or "good enough". You are, every inches of you are. Every part of you, your past included is forever good enough. Things that happened don't define you. And thank you for never dumping your trauma and sadness onto others, thank you for always being a shoulder to lean on. You feel very motherly to me. I think you have the power of empathy, of being capable of great love and trust. With you it feels so divine. If you're single, I just want you to know that there are a person out there for you, that soon enough you'll be meeting your match that was made in heaven. You just radiate divine femininity to me, regardless of your gender. How can one hold themselves to such high standards but is also capable of spreading so much positivity everyday? Your power lies in your abilities to make people feel at home, in your abilities to make this world a better place. I know this and hopefully you know this too, you are the on that can change this society, making real changes that affect me and others too. You may be great at working with people who are unfortunate and people who are emotionally blocked. I see that you take people in and nurture them, calm them down and tame them. You make everyone that interacts with you remember that its always important to be a little kinder today. Your kindess is unmatched and I hope you know that. Please take care of yourself too and don't be afraid to lean on others. It may seem lonely now but soon enough, if you have yet to you would meet your person, the one person thats like everyone else, will see you for who you are. But they will also love you, with every breath of theirs, just like the way you know you can deep down in your heart. The most wounded one are the one who love the hardest. You have my blessings and I'm forever honoured to have been blessed with your kindness and even just a little bit of your energy.

Pile 3

Now you make me feel things Pile 3. You really do. I see a lot of dimensions to you but for sure. Power. Were you guys the ones that got a teeny tiny bit too excited upon seeing the title of this PAC? When you see the word "power" does your heart beat a little bit faster. So much mental here. Do you guys have migraines a lot? The back of my head keep hurting and I keep seeing a vision where theres a person thats lying on their table with their laptop and it's really late at night, this person wears glasses too. I'm sorry if that was random, but the thing is I think your guides are trying to show me how hardworking you are. You have this no bs energy to you that just feels the most mature so far and I think you also have this approach where you're very unfazed with things now aren't you? Been there done that much?;) I'm seeing Saturn/Capricorn energy, Cancer energy or Jupiter/Pisces energy, Aquarius energy, LOADS of air energy too and maybe for some of you, some hints of Aries! I think you guys are very nostalgic people, and I'm even seeing that your power lies in the threshold of your home. Some of you may have a very interesting relationship with a maternal figure in your life, where this person was the one that grounds you and teaches you values and life lessons. This person is surrounded in a lot of green and I think theres this one memory of you with them that you always go back too when you're not feeling yourself. If this person has passes away, just know that, they're still with you. They see you and they're always going to be protecting you from afar. They're one of your spirit guides. I think the theme of balance is something you care so much for. I see that you have so much potentials and so many things await for you in your future. It feels to me that you approach this world with a clear mind, where you have learnt to fight off addictive patterns and illogical tendencies. You feel so so grounded to me love. Deep down, I think you have a heart thats just as big as Pile 2. I keep sensing a sense of sorrow too, I'm sorry but I have to get this out before we move on. I'm sensing a certain sense of sadness, where you guys felt that you had to let go of love to move on to better things for you. Wow. A very mature energy too. I just feel a lot of sadness here still. Are you guys okay? Talk to someone if you need to get it out. I know its not always so easy because you feel that you have a reputation to live up to, an ideal to preserve. But sometimes, it is very much important that you are too, tending to what your heart needs. I'm so sorry that you felt like you had to choose between your heart and your mind. I know that may seem very selfish of the Universe to have put you in such positions, where you had to let go of something you once loved so dearly to attain better and righteous things in life. Its exhausting. I know baby. I know that it feels so draining and you may feel like you're never ever going to find your person. Or just the second when you find them, they slip away, slowly into thin air. I'm so sorry that things always felt so out of reach to you. Especially the second you catch feelings. So now when you do, you try your best to plan it out, to tend to it and to dim it once you see danger.

I'm seeing so much white around you. I can just tell that you're a truth seeker. Know that the abiding truth and value are on its ways to you and the bad energies are on its way out. You guys give me angelic energy. It's like theres a polarity in you, a devil and an angel. But you learnt to tame down whatever that does not serve you very early on in life. And I have to get this out, I love your smile so much🥲🥲 Your hair too you guys have such nice and healthy hair. Your spirit guide have a lot of orange around them too! They just want to let you know that its time to open your heart and receive your blessings. Intimacy is something you fear but you also need. You got this baby.

But I think underneath it all, you truest power lies in the way you hold yourself and your opinions. It lies in the way there's a forever burning fire in you but there's also a rationality to you thats exceptional and advanced than most. Your connections with people are what intrigues me the most. I'm seeing a group of friends, I can't see clearly if they go in 3 or 4 but. They're surrounded in a lot of red and white. So power. Loads of power haha. I think you're also very charming as a person awww. Its like despite having a very cold and stern front, perhaps even intimidating, you radiate a lot of good vibes and charm when you smile🥺 I think you hold a lot of power within your passion. Like I'm just seeing that you can do things others can't? So perhaps theres a skill to you or certain trait you possess not a lot of people have:) I enjoy your presence so much because you have a lot of clear ambitions and you're marching on to things that you want in life. And I can feel that you're a tough on though. It can be really hard for others to manipulate you or mess with your head. You know who you are and your purpose. You wake up everyday with a blazing fire inside you. I know that fire is what burns down all the obstacles that come your way and it is that fire that lead you in life. Does number "22" significant to you in someway? I think regardless, you inherit a lot of your independence and rationality from a male figure in your life. You know the importance of community and you're not afraid of unraveling the truth, whatever it shall be. Theres a softer side to you though. You can be very introverted at times and I think you're a very thoughtful person by all means. You like and appreciate the simple things in life and its easy for you to find beauty in everything. Get some rest though. Don't work so hard. Congratulations on your new found passion by the way haha, I'm very excited for you.

Pile 4

The Mercurians are now in the house I see🥳 Hey there pretty people, how are you guys doing? Major Gemini/Virgo/Mercury energy along with a fine blend of water and earth:) I just peek some Aquarius and Sagittarius here and there but a lot of Pisces and Saturn energy:) I hope you guys are doing well! You scrolled all the way down for my reading now didn't you and I promise not to disappoint you:D "Hopeless romantic"? "Freedom"? "A choice must be made"? I think some of you mught have 10th house stelliums or 1st house stelliums. You may have placements in those houses too!! Those are the things I heard as I was shuffling. I'm also sensing a lot of scattered energy that feels very restless, so I can definitely see that you guys have been overthinking again aren't you? I won't bore you with much more words, I'll get right into it:) I think your power is your abilities to manifest, to create. Let me elaborate. When people have ideas, they can have many yet it is very difficult for a lot of us to actually put down the stones to build the thing that we can envision. You give me goosebumps just now Pile 4. Mad scientist vibes much? Do you know how beautiful your mind is oh my god? How you're able to balance you intuition and your drive at the same time? A lot of the times I think people might not take you guys too seriously at first unless you want too. Why? Because you're so laidback. Like you're so chill? You just make people confide in you because you're just that easy to trust. You're a jokester for sure, fantastic sense of humour. Sometimes people try to be funny a lot and others can tell, but for you, you're just funny and humorous in everything you do. You know how to make light of the situation and god help me, I just saw a vision where it seems that something serious happened? Or maybe it wasn't that serious yet the people around you took it a bit seriously, but you thought of somethings and you looked down and giggle to yourself? HAHAH, your hauntingly beautiful mind is insane.

Regardless, you actually have a lot of self-discipline and a lot of confidence though. You don't care if people don't take you seriously at first now don't you? Because you're going to change their mind anyways. Haha I just heard "I'll make you do it" so we sure do have some devil's advocates around here aren't we:) Cleverly playful, you can relax and sit back when needed (if you're not overthinking ofcourse) but you can focus and hop on anything in w split of a second. You guys are master at finessing things and I see that when things are rough, you are the big guns that people are bringing in. Why? Because you target what needed to be done immediately. You have the immense power to see things from perspectives that many struggle to see. You're not afraid of walking outside your comfort zones to gain knowledge. I see that you're the one people need to watch out for, afterall, it is always the smart ones that doesn't look smart that you need to be careful of. Books? Some of you may work in finance or work with a lot of books and paper. Whatever it is, you guys are very fulfilled materially and I think your family may come from a very respectable background. It's like when people hear your family name, they look at you in awe. You don't have to worry much financially and I see that you're amazing at giving advices and helping people out. Sometimes, you even enjoy it a lil too much as it allows you to be distrated for once. Interestingly, while you are very intelligent by all means, you seem to enjoy oblivious, air-headed people? HAHAH I'm just kidding but it seems that you love it when people have a sense of naivety to them, something that you had lost very early on due to this cruel world. I think you're a winner in life my dear and I wish that you would stop being so hard on yourself and overcome all the imagined fear you see infront of you. For you I see abundance, for you I see love and so much joy. At the end of the road, it is you that will succeed, it is you that will overcome all of this. You may be very careful with people though, especially men. It could be because when you were younger. Some kind of events happened in which it shifted your views on marriage? Regardless, I'll tell you right now that your power lies in your future. At the end of the road, I see so many blessings coming your way. You're on the right track. Take a deep breath for me and march on.

— Thank you guys for reading it til the end🤎 For more posts like this please be sure to check out my masterlist <3 be sure to reblog if you enjoy this too beautiful!!

love,

saint jenx🪐

#tarot jenx #tarotlove #tarot readings #tarot witch #astrojenx #astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #tarot #pick a card reading #pac readings #free pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a crystal #devon aoki #astro community

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januaryedgelordess · 3 years

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I'd like to discuss a SnK theory with someone, it's on the possibility of a different (or expanded) AnR theory.

Disclaimer: Perhaps you should read this post with the lyrics for Akatsuki no Requiem by Linked Horizon in mind, but I also don't stand by the original reddit theory a 100%.

One of the questions that lingers around the fandom is: "who would've survived the Rumbling had it been done as originally implied by the themes and foreshadowing of the story?". Some believe only Eren and Historia would have had that chance, but they might be mistaken.

The first proof I have in order to back this claim is AnR's official art as drawn by WIT Studio during the production of season three of the anime:

(Note: these are originally four different images, the source of this collage is vaguely anitwt).

Just as shown in the original PV by Linked Horizon, each of these characters are standing by a gravestone while holding a bouquet and looking conflicted. Now, to counter the original AnR theorists, I propose that Eren —and by extension, Historia— weren't the only ones to live on with regret in their hearts, instead, Levi and Hanji survived as well.

Why did they survive? Is my conclusion solely based on these pictures? Well, just in part.

I believe Attack on Titan was never meant to be a one-sided story, and that one of the various themes that weren't thoroughly explored in the later chapters, a theme which was instead rushed and swiftly overlooked, is that of the conflict between "Nationalism" and "Internationalism". It's obvious and needless to point out that Yaegerists were the former, but the latter never take a name for themselves. However, we get a rough idea of who they might be, one of them is clearly Hanji Zoe:

Another internationalist is obviously Onyankopon:

Another one is Armin and so on, and so on.

Are they the only type on people on Earth? Of course not. Notably you also have those who have egotistical motivations, like Jean, who just wants to get married and live a peaceful life in the inner cities; or the Hizuru ambassador, Kiyomi, whose motivation is monetary gain. The world isn't black and white in AoT so, to clarify, it's unnecessary to classify every character in the dichotomy here presented.

Now, if Yams hadn't downplayed this interaction, we may have had a better thought out plan to stop the Rumbling and, possibly, a less moronically cringy way for "The Alliance" to be presented.

Why is that? It's because of various reasons. First, one of the most observant characters, Hanji, is notable for having spied on some of Eren and Historia's interactions (the "You look happy — that's because I am" scene for example) but by the end of the story the audience never got a reason as to why this observant behavior happened. If Hanji really is as cunning and observant as she is portrayed to be, she should've been the first character to suspect that Eren is the father and, therefore, that Historia's pregnancy's due date was off. Instead of the survey corps discussing this info, we get some random officers discussing irrelevant rumours about it. Isayama I mean, Kawakubo played Hanji Zoe dirty, in my opinion, in this scenario.

If Hanji had noticed that important information, and if that info had been shared with the Survey Corps, as was natural for her character to do, "the Alliance" may have had been able to act sooner against the AT.

Now, would more prep time save the world from devastation? No, I don't believe so. I believe it would, instead, make them have a slightly more realistic last fight by a) having them recruit actual soldiers and weapons for the final showdown, heck, if they have enough time even other countries would chime in, vs Hallu-chan and the Attach Titan; and, therefore, b) not having them rely on a Deus Ex Machina to defeat Eren.

That way, Hanji would live on with regret, knowing the Alliance did everything in their power to defeat the Attack Titan but failed miserably in the end. Instead of having her smile as her ghost-self at whatever the hell the canon battle achieved, she'd mourn the world that's been lost, and she'd feel regret for not being able to save it.

Now, for Levi I haven't done a thorough analysis yet, but I believe it's not difficult to see why humanity's strongest soldier would survive this ordain. I'd really like to hear someone else's thoughts on that matter.

Also, I'm in no way trying to imply LeviHan was supposed to be part of a kino ending, but I'm not too into that ship so I'd like to hear someone else's thoughts about it and on why they were the only two members of the alliance to survive according to WIT Studio's AnR official art.

Now, onto the second part of "who survived the Rumbling?". The next piece of information contradicts previous statements, and it also contradicts an AnR ending to some extent, but bare with me, please.

Exhibit A, Mikasa and Armin should have survived:

However, for Kruger's prophecy to succeed, I stand by my previous statement that "the Alliance" should've acted sooner, and that Armin is part of the Internationalist faction ready to "save humanity". Why do I believe that? It's easy, first, let's remember this quote from the moment Erwin died:

Note how, not only does Eren say Armin will save the humans, he also implies Mikasa will know it'll happen (so she'll be alive by the time the battle ends).

And, piggybacking on that moment as well, Armin would've been able to use his intellect to make a plan to divert the Rumbling titans. I'm adding this here to stress something that can't be stressed enough: Armin shouldn't have had to fistfight Eren twice, and he shouldn't have had to steal someone else's kill. Now onto that kill...

Should Mikasa have been the one to deal Eren's final blow? In the canon version of the story it's shown, in a rather cringy way, how she has to make up a whole different scenario inside her mind to get the mental strength to kill him. To me, Mikasa instead should've used the devastation caused by the Rumbling to completely break away from Eren's character and to be able to see past the "you're being brainwashed" narrative. Now, besides some of Isayama's interviews, there's other proof to back this up: the Historia-Mikasa parallels in Ending 4 and Ending 1:

Ending 1: https://youtu.be/O4wezNlsxB0

Ending 4: https://youtu.be/o05UK9lXtC0

We see some petty similarities in both: how both girls seem to be inside a pond or a lake, a snip of them running when they were young, etc.; but we also see some more important things for this theory: their growth as a person (how they survived whatever the past cast upon them), and them catching up to the people who they look up to and love.

Now, two things we know about Historia are that her beloved Ymir left her and she had to learn to accept it and move on; and that her sister, Frieda, died and she, without initially knowing even that she'd lost her, had to learn how to live on her own when she was young. Would Mikasa and Eren be able to have an end like that? I think it was implied that it was possible, but other than that, as part of any healthy development of her character, it is important for her to move on just as the Eldian Queen did: even if Eren chose to live a life apart from her (like Ymir did to Historia's early knowledge) or even if he were to die (like Frieda did).

Also, I have some doubts about Mikasa being the one who was supposed to kill Eren, since the one who was foreshadowed to be a Helos' parallel, and who'd fit the role just as well is Reiner, but I won't discuss that here.

So, to me, Mikasa was never an Internationalist, but for the sake of her character, a break-away from Eren should've been a good conclusive act.

As to some other parallels between Mikasa and Historia we have this part:

In which it is implied that they share the same burden by birth, and the same destiny, possibly. Mikasa is shown to be embarrassed about it but Historia seems to be thoroughly delighted.

With this parallel I'd also like to recall two other threads left undone: the Azumabito clan and the Ackerman mystery.

First, the Azumabitos. It's implied that their land is to "the Orient", and we also get a small snip during the Rumbling which implies they have a coast (it's obvious their country is a direct reference to Japan, needless to say). All of which would imply that, as it does in the Real World ™️, Hizuru is almost the Eastern-most Nation of AoT's world as well, and therefore, it may be one of the last countries that the Rumbling would have reached. If you add that they were the first people to send an ambassador to Paradis, you get: Hizuru being the first nation to be included in a possible Internationalist "Alliance" (had it been done in the appropriate time) against the Attack Titan; and you also get that this would increase their possibilities of surviving, at least just in part, the Rumbling.

Why is this important? Because AnR's lyrics do not imply the world will be completely and absolutely obliterated. AnR's lyrics imply the world will live on but the power dynamic of the world will be reversed: Paradis will rule, while the rest will be forced inside the cage.

https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Linked-Horizon/Akatsuki-no-Requiem-TV-Size

Now, the Ackermans. Just as Historia and Zeke posses a special particularity by virtue of birth (they are direct descendants of Ymir), which make them valuable assets to "breed" for whoever is using the Eldians (be it Marley, the Azumabitos, or the First King), I believe the outside world would be interested, at any part of the story, to have an Ackerman in their line of defense against the Eldians. In this case the Mikasa-Historia parallel is strengthened, simply because it would be interesting to see Levi or Mikasa confront that part of their destiny (to make the Ackerman clan continue for the sake of a plan, while acknowledging they're the only survivors). Perhaps Hizuru would've been the country to try and make use of that potential? This parallel was, of course, never used, but it would've been delightful to see it exploited at some point in the AoT timeline. However I acknowledge that continuity is impossible in a world without titans, unless one of the surviving countries on Earth are in serious need of Olympic competitors, of course, so perhaps it should've been mentioned before The Rumbling arc.

Well, this turned out to be more like a vent or a rant than a theory now, and I wish I could've had discussed it quietly with someone instead of just posting it here. There are some other nuances to this analysis that I would like to explore in the future (since this isn't thoroughly thought out) In the meantime what do you all think of a new AnR theory like this one? Does it make a little sense? At least a bit? I hope so. Thank you for reading and sorry about the grammar mistakes.

TLDR: I believe Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Historia, Hanji and Levi should have survived and also it's possible for Hizuru to have survived. Please feel free to point out any flaws.

#Eren #Attack on Titan #Armin #Mikasa #Levi #Hanji #AoT Theory #AnR Theory #just my personal thoughts #snk spoilers #aot spoilers #attack on titan spoilers #shingeki no kyojin spoilers #Historia Reiss #Ackerman clan #akatsuki no requiem #linked horizon #anr

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 5)

I'm back on my bullshit. I decided I'd post these, once a day, four days a week. Then I'll go on breaks for the weekend to let interested readers catch up while also further writing more entries. At the time I'm posting this, for example, I'm in the process of analyzing Chapter 39. That way, it's easier for everyone to enjoy this essay. Which I hope people do.

Anyway, this can finally truly be called a ship essay, because one of our key players has FINALLY developed feelings! Going forward, Natsume's behavior will heavily feature his growing affections for Mikan. We'll be analyzing Natsume's self-preserving hesitation as well as his immediate instinct to give up any chance he has from the get-go.

Chapter Seventeen

Natsume next shows up to walk into Class B during a commotion of Mikan’s retelling of the Reo incident. The kids all gather around him now too to ask questions and press about his condition. One kid even asks if he should teach Mikan a lesson for bragging about his rescue. Mikan smiles at him, under the assumption that their shared trauma has brought them closer and maybe even made them friends, but Natsume’s response is to simply turn away and ignore her.

He’s still Natsume after all. This is the first girl he’s ever liked, and she used to be somebody he despised, so the change in feelings is probably very strange to him. He’s confused and possibly embarrassed. He doesn’t know what to say or how to act.

Can't have her getting any ideas that he's completely changed his mind about her or anything.

Most of the people that Natsume likes at the school (although that is just Ruka and Youichi… so… you know) know that he likes them. He spends time with them, is gentle with them, does things for them, and can openly say kind things to and about them. Mikan is different. He used to be her number one enemy, so all of a sudden switching gears and becoming her friend would be quite odd.

Over time, Natsume will find ways to be gentle and sweet to Mikan, but for now his crush is brand new and he doesn’t know how to act quite yet. He’d rather avoid her entirely, or pretend like nothing happened, than openly approach his new feelings.

Furthermore his behavior is always and under all circumstances inseparable from his status as Persona’s favorite and as the Black Cat. He may have some loved ones, but he keeps the number low and tries to avoid getting close to people for a reason. Naturally, nobody could ever really understand his experiences so there will always be a divide between him and the rest of his peers, but even more than that is that considering people precious turns them into targets.

Natsume has probably learned the hard way that displaying closeness and affection for his friends can have dangerous effects, so he might now think of showing that kind of affection as selfish or even cruel. Why subject somebody to something like that, merely because he has feelings for them? It’s not fair.

In either case, it’s really not that Natsume is naturally mean and cold. He just doesn’t trust his situation enough to properly act. It’s safer in every way to just pretend like nothing changed. It’s too much to deal with otherwise. But sooner rather than later, the hard thing will be staying away. Eventually, maintaining coldness with her will be almost impossible.

Chapter Eighteen

This chapter further touches on Natsume’s new-found crush and its consequences.

Class B is used to being in an environment where Natsume hates Mikan and is bothered by everything she does. He gives in to her slightly, in small ways, and it shocks his classmates. Now, it’s understandable that, even if he hadn’t developed a crush on her, he might still be softer to a girl who risked her life to save him, but it’s still odd.

Mikan recalls asking Natsume for help training her alice. She needs an offensive alice to nullify, so Iinchou or Hotaru’s would be ineffectual in training. Natsume is really the best person to ask, and, to everyone’s surprise, he actually agrees to help.

Natsume doesn't need any convincing to help her, but what did she think practicing with a fire alice would entail?

And yes it does seem like he’s only doing it to torture her, because his alice is capable of genuine bodily harm and his admirers snicker with amusement at his antics, but I can’t help but assume there’s more to it.

He doesn’t really hesitate to help. He doesn’t need convincing at all. In some ways I think he did genuinely want to help. Her alice helped save his life, after all. Why not repay the favor by using his alice to help her train? To him, there's a lot of value in her alice, so training it is beneficial in his perspective as well.

And later still, Mikan spots Natsume sitting amongst the principal students. He stands out, as an elementary student next to upperclassmen. This moment is a good introduction to the arc. His crush on Mikan only grows stronger as the festival goes on, but there’s something looming over him too--he’s different from the rest of them. He stands out so much during the festival. He’s a dangerous ability type who’s not allowed to participate while also being a principal who has to sit on the stage for the opening ceremony. That's horribly ironic, but also shows just how singled out and under the spotlight he is. It’s a huge part of why he acts the way he does, so cold and mean and distant despite his growing affections. It’s all he can do.

He may see potential for a future, but he’d be foolish to think he should be able to acquire it, because his current circumstances have not changed at all.

The chapter ends with Natsume being asked by Koko if he wants to try out the special ability class event. He’s looking towards the special ability area, and we can tell the next chapter will be fun.

Chapter Nineteen

And how!

Natsume is here to see Ruka, his best friend, but he’s also here to catch a glimpse of the girl he has a crush on.

Sumire is also there, and it’s interesting to see that Natsume hasn’t changed in his attitude around her either, even though she also helped save him. She tries to embrace him and he dodges her.

This catches some people’s attention and they start to whisper about his presence.

In the anime, this moment is a bit more potent, hearing the murmurs and seeing a darkness over the gossiping kids, but the manga still establishes that the people waiting in line are by-and-large unhappy to see him. They whisper amongst themselves, rudely asking why he’d bother to come here, but that gloom only lasts for a moment (one singular panel and then Natsume’s responding bitterness) before Mikan appears jumping over the wall, calling his name and even smiling.

It’s almost like she was waiting for him to show up, running off from her post the second she heard Natsume was there. The dark looming screentones are replaced with flowery ones, and it’s hard not to think of this as his perspective: all is gloomy and then there is Mikan. All of a sudden, after hating her for so long, he thinks of her as bright sunshine, and he must have showed up just to see her and feel nice for a change.

It's Natsume seeing Mikan through floral-filter lenses for me...

Of course, he ruins the mood. It feels almost as if he does it solely because he knows it will upset her. She was so excited to see him, and he manages to completely turn her mood from eager to angry, just the opposite of how she was able to unwittingly turn his mood from gloomy to... as close to content as he can get.

He’s okay now. He doesn’t want her getting any ideas.

Now, in my opinion, his method of bothering her could be anything and the plot would remain the same. What matters is that he wants to piss her off, and this just so happens to be the way he does it, partially because it’s intended to be funny. Mikan has to get angry at him for this chapter to progress the way it does, but his actions could have been replaced by any other irritating action and it could’ve gone the same way.

Tsubasa then appears, drawn to the sound of a loud commotion. He sees Natsume and vaguely wonders why he’s there. Everyone knows Natsume, at all grade levels, because he’s famous. For Tsubasa, whose only real knowledge of Mikan’s relationship with the kid is that he causes trouble in Class B, it would be strange to see him at the RPG.

Natsume, meanwhile, has no idea who Tsubasa is. Seeing Mikan crawl all over her senpai, seeing him easily comfort her, is something that bugs Natsume. He glares at Tsubasa, somebody whose name he doesn’t even know, and then starts leaving with Ruka.

At first, Tsubasa is confused to be treated like this, until he hugs Mikan tighter and sees both Natsume and Ruka turn in jealousy. Tsubasa gets it immediately. Thus begins a strange and tumultuous frenemy relationship between Tsubasa and Natsume, where they both begrudgingly understand each other while also irritating each other beyond belief.

Natsume is not interested in playing the game, insulting it and wondering how anyone could get hooked on it. Ultimately, it’s not even Mikan who convinces him to give it a shot; it’s Tsubasa taunting him, “then you should be able to win, no problem, right?”

Tsubasa will come to regret saying this, because the answer is yes.

The RPG is designed to be tough. Nobody has won the whole game yet. Beating one or two students is one thing, but being able to outsmart or outmaneuver the entire special ability class is a difficult feat.

Natsume agrees to play, and gets a robot cockroach as a weapon.

Tsubasa is hugging Mikan as Natsume is about to enter, and that pisses him off even more. He decides that Tsubasa will be his slave, his motive being get your hands off her. This is silly considering that just a short time ago, Natsume hated Mikan. His feelings really did a 180.

The challenges pick up in difficulty as he goes on. The first one is effortless. He doesn’t even move from where he’s standing. The mirror-alice girl just freaks out about the cockroach and sends him on his way after two seconds.

The next one is trickier, and Natsume will need to put in more effort than just standing and waiting for the cockroach to do its job. But not that much effort. He sits next to Megane, lights a fire, and waits. It’s a scorching flame, and although Megane tries to tough it out, he gives in with two seconds to spare. Natsume, a smartass, quips sarcastically that he’s sorry--he really can’t tell how hot it is. (This is not actually important or anything, it’s just interesting that Natsume is not affected by his own flames and can’t feel the heat of them. I might end up referring to this a couple times.)

With the exception of the first and last challenges, Natsume uses his alice to beat the maze; either by heating Megane up so his soul goes back into his body, or by writing with fire instead of chalk. The next challenge is the one Natsume has been waiting for and he’ll use his alice here too.

Tsubasa is shocked to find Natsume has progressed so quickly, but he proceeds with the challenge: Natsume has to touch him in thirty seconds, but it’ll be tricky ‘cause he’s held in place by his shadows. He toys with Natsume’s shadows a bit, which really pisses Natsume off. Tsubasa even apologizes nervously, even though he’s the one in control. Or he is, until Natsume uses his alice again and gets rid of the shadows.

Natsume’s anger towards Tsubasa all stems from jealousy. It’s not just that Tsubasa was hugging and comforting Mikan, it’s that he can. Natsume needs to distance himself from Mikan in order to keep her safe, and he’s aware of that right from the start, but there’s more to it. He’s busy establishing himself as an enemy to Mikan, doing things to bother her to make her angry with him, but nobody rushes to their bully for comfort, and Natsume knows this. It’s not just that Tsubasa was hugging Mikan; it’s that he feels like he will never get the chance.

And so the next and final challenge is where he gets to be selfish.

Mikan is aggravated to see him, obviously not thrilled that he was able to make it in such a short time. Her task is that he has to get her off the carpet in thirty seconds. He can’t hurt her or force her off the carpet, and because of their alice training together, he can’t use his alice on her either. (They’d apparently practiced so much that she was able to sharpen her skills significantly. Before, her alice was a wildcard and she struggled with using it, but now she’s able to use it with relative ease. That’s a lot of training in a short time, and I’m sure Natsume wasn’t upset at all the time they had to spend together as a result.)

Natsume must feel relief regarding Mikan's nullification alice. She's nullified his alice in pretty big ways already, one time to save his life. The girl he's crushing on is capable of turning off the thing that decreases his lifespan. She really is a breath of fresh air, in more ways than one, and his appreciation for her alice, even if he doesn't voice it, will only grow. This is important, but I'll talk way more about this in the other POV.

He tries the cockroach, but she’s a country girl and unaffected.

Natsume is genuinely stumped by her challenge, admitting to himself that it’s a tough one. He then comes up with a risky idea, no doubt influenced by her rescue of him when they were kidnapped by Reo. He plays sick. This act only works if Mikan falls for it and is concerned enough to jump off the carpet, but he’s a good actor on account of all the sick experience he has and she does fall for it in no time. Her being concerned was a given.

She jumps off, meaning he’s won the game, but that’s not enough of a victory for him. He acts sick until she’s closer, so he can grab her and put his arm around her. Yes, he calls her an idiot, but this is the closest he can get to a hug… for now. It doesn’t matter that she’s annoyed and dismayed that he won. All he cares about is that he got to touch her.

She jumped down. He won already, but it's not enough! (Also sorry about two pictures. If it ruins the format, oh well.)

Natsume was jealous that Tsubasa got to do something he thinks he'll never be able to, and so he got a taste of what he wanted some other, convoluted way. He gets angry that Tsubasa is so touchy, but that's only because he wishes he could be touchy too. Natsume will get bolder and bolder with his physical affection, because he will want more and more to show it. When he starts being honest about this affection, she will be more eager to return it.

Natsume is the first winner, and Tsubasa admits it was never expected for somebody to be able to pass all the challenges. Part of the appeal is that it’s an unbeatable game, but Natsume’s feelings of jealousy and spite were enough to get him over the finish line. Though perhaps knowing it's beatable but only one person could is also appealing. It's possible to pass, but very rare for somebody to be able to, so they can draw in crowds by capitalizing on kids who want to the next person to beat the game.

He gets to choose a lamp, but he has no idea which one is whose. He cheats by asking Koko to tell him which one is the right one, but he ends up picking Mikan’s, because Koko assumed that’s the one he wanted. After all--Natsume was thinking about her. Natsume is lucky that Mikan was too anguished at being a slave to care about Natsume thinking about her, but it’s interesting to know that even when he’s supposed to be angry at Tsubasa, he was only thinking of Mikan.

Chapter Twenty

This chapter’s premise is pretty simple and light: Natsume can’t think of any use for Mikan other than to follow him and Ruka around the festival and carry their stuff. They navigate the technical ability class area and even encounter Hotaru, though only for a short time because she’s quite busy.

Most importantly, their time in the technical area makes Mikan insecure. Everyone in the tech class seems to know what they want to do with their lives, with their alices being perfect for research or creation. I’ll go into more detail with this during Mikan’s essay, but it’s important to note that Mikan asks the people around her if they’re prepared for their future only to see that they all are. Hotaru, Sumire, and even Ruka all have dreams for the future, even if Ruka won’t share his. Natsume has decided to leave the conversation and we don’t hear what his dream is, which makes sense because he doesn’t have one. Natsume doesn’t think he’ll live long enough to graduate, so why even bother wasting his own time and getting his hopes up for something unattainable?

It’s then revealed that Ruka is also a triple, and Mikan can’t tell, but the mood has been soured for Ruka. His triple-star status is a touchy subject that he’s unhappy with. His star rank is representative of Natsume’s suffering and he doesn’t like talking about it. He only says that he didn’t mention it because he didn’t get it on his own talent or effort before Natsume forces Mikan to walk in another direction, claiming to be hungry.

This is literally just a scan of the TokyoPop version, which is better than the other version I see floating around.

He can tell Ruka is uncomfortable and is ready to step in so that his friend can feel better.

As a result, they end up at the cafe where Anna is working (after all, Mikan has been perfecting her puppy-dog eyes routine and I think both Ruka and Natsume are affected, even if the latter would never admit it).

Natsume takes the first bite of Anna’s hell pie, just to see a rot demon (or whatever that thing is) taunt him about the trouble his stomach will be in soon. He really doesn’t have a choice but to throw the tea over the pie. Ruka is grateful, but Mikan is outraged at how rude Natsume is acting, and even angrier when Natsume explains that the pie was horrible. She demands he apologize but Natsume simply walks away, content to be the bad guy because he saved his friends from getting food poisoning while also sparing Anna’s feelings and reputation at her cafe.

"Your stomach will writhe" is such a potent threat. I feel sick just looking at that demon/scoundrel/rot thing.

This scene has more substance than in the anime. In the episode, Natsume sees the rotten scoundrel (or WHATEVER IT IS) before he can take a bite. He tosses the tea for all their sakes and ultimately nobody is hurt. But here, in the manga, Natsume has already taken a bite. We see the missing part of the pie, the residue on the fork. Natsume is already screwed. He's going to have food poisoning from Anna's pie, and he still puts her feelings before his own. He'd rather say that the pie is terrible according to his own tastes than to let everyone around know that she made such a health-risking mistake. He drenches the pie so that Mikan and Ruka don't get food poisoning, even if it's too late for him. Natsume leaves, knowing he will look like an asshole, AND with stomach problems on top of that, but at least he's the only one who will be seriously hurt.

This is a pretty insignificant example of a trait that we have seen before with Natsume but haven't really fully explored. It's going to play a major role for the rest of the manga, because Natsume has something of a martyr complex, where he is quick to sacrifice himself because he sees little to no value in his own happiness. This is a small example, and I'm not saying it's not kind of him, but there are consequences with his line of thinking. He's fine with looking like an asshole to protect people, or giving up things he wants so someone else can have it, or blowing himself up so two girls can escape safely. Whenever there's a chance to sacrifice himself, Natsume will take it every single time.

This may seem noble or romantic or admirable but it's not healthy at all. The way he was raised (no shade to Papa Hyuuga and Kaoru but also.... tentatively side-eyeing them for putting so much responsibility on him) and the way he is now tortured by the school has put him in a position where his self esteem is horribly low. This complex of his results in suicidal tendencies, even after he falls in love with Mikan (and even exacerbated by that love). For Natsume, love is sacrifice. He simply cannot love without feeling like he has to give something up. Ideally, he would grow out of this and maybe start seriously choosing himself sometimes. It's not evil to want yourself to be happy and to choose your own well-being, even if it occasionally makes others sad or upset.

In the context of the actual story though, we have yet another glimpse of a complex that will cause a LOT of trouble down the road for Natsume and Mikan.

Conclusion

Natsume has new feelings for Mikan and is having trouble navigating them. They will cause even more trouble in the next essay. We also touched more on Natsume's self-sacrificing tendencies and how devastating they will turn out to be. These tendencies will be consistent and persistent throughout the manga in regards to NatsuMikan's relationship, and cause more problems. These problems will pop up a bit in the next part, so stay tuned!

Also, small note: I call him Ruka and not Luca because I got used to it after watching the anime and through scans and fanfics. I heard his name pronounced that way and at first thought it was a Japanese name so I simply copied the pronunciation. When I found out it was supposed to be Luca, I'd already been using Ruka for a while. I don't really want to switch to using Luca most of the time because I know people in real life named Luca/Luka and I talk enough about GA on the daily where it might feel strange to me. I use Luca sometimes when I'm talking to others who prefer it, but Ruka is what I'm used to. I hope this isn't frustrating, but understand that I pronounce Killua's name (from HxH) like "Ki-ru-a" as well and in my head "Gakuen Alice" is pronounced "Gakuen Arisu" because I pronounce things based on what I hear when watching the anime ;-; These are things I have no real desire to change because they sound right to me. I'm sorry. (Nobody has said anything or complained, and this is not a vague or anything like that! I just wanted to say that I know it's supposed to be Luca and it's not my intention to be disrespectful when I pronounce/spell it Ruka. I am fucking crazy, but I am free.)

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #hyuuga natsume #natsume hyuuga #natsumikan #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #my meta #ga #mine #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: natsume #because of how jam-packed the alice festival is with nm content this might take two more parts to complete #stay patient with me please i am trying my best ;-;#i couldnt go into the haunted house knowing id only have two pics to work with. it would kill me.#theres just too much #the ten image limit is genuinely such an obstacle so if u wish there was more then blame tumblr and maybe theyll raise the limit to fifteen #they wont. tumblr is a disgusting landfill of a website.#edit for song: stupid by brendan maclean #theres some jealousy and tsundere behavior. love that for early love natsume

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