#now i’ve gained so much weight and i hate myself and everyone around me reminds me that i’m fat now

[cashew-milkk]

so i still have an eating disorder…

[rebelwrites]

Twenty Eight: Till The Wheels Fall Off

Charles Leclerc x Nova Teller (OC)

Till The Wheels Fall Off Masterlist

Small town meets the fast lane. What happens when two souls meet? Will it end in happiness or will they both crash and burn?

A/N so this is it, this is the final part of this series 🥺 I put so much of myself into this story and kinda sad it didn’t get more love but hey what can you do! I hope you have enjoyed following the journey of Charles and Nova!! They will forever hold a special interest pace in my heart ❤️

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

Christmas was now only three days away, it had always been my favorite season. Everything about it made me feel like a child again. The excitement of getting gifts, the ambiance of the tree lit up, the warm fuzzy feeling on the cold winter nights wrapped up with a large mug of hot chocolate. The whole festive period was full of magic and I couldn’t get enough.

But everything was different this year.

It was coming up on three months since we lost Pops and I was struggling to see the magic in anything, everything just reminded me of him.

Walking into my bedroom I found Charles routing through my wardrobe, tossing items of clothing at the open suitcase that was placed on top of my bed. “You won’t find anything in there that's your size,” I chuckled, shrugging off my dressing gown, hanging it on the back of the door.

“Haha, very funny,” Charles laughed, spinning around holding a very sparkly red dress. “Why have I never seen you in this before?”

“Because it was banished to the back of the closet for a reason,” I huffed, grabbing the dress from him, placing it back where it belonged. “I fell in love with it when I brought it but it just makes me feel so self conscious, plus I’ve gained weight since I brought it so I doubt it would fit me anymore.”

Charles slowly nodded at me, wrapping his arms around my waist. The smirk on his face was telling me he was up to something. “Can I ask why you are raiding my clothes and why is my suitcase on my bed?”

“It’s a surprise,” he winked, turning back to the task he was doing when I walked in. “I’m nearly done anyway so make sure you are wearing something comfy and meet me downstairs in ten.”

“You know I hate surprises right?” I huffed, folding my arms across my chest.

“Quit moaning, Sunshine and get your ass dressed.” he hummed.

“Fine, but if this is a shit surprise I will -”

“Rip my limbs off, I know that seems to be your go to punishment at the moment,” he laughed, finally closing my wardrobe.

Rolling my eyes at my boyfriend I pulled what I needed from my drawers before slipping into the bathroom to get ready. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was planning some sort of trip which was why I found myself putting a bit more effort in my appearance knowing that wherever we were going there would more than likely be press hanging around.

I could hear everyone moaning at the bottom of the stairs as I made my way down.

“I hope your time keeping is better when you are working,” Charles hummed, cocking his brow at me. “because Fred will skin you alive.”

“Baby, you are forgetting Fred loves me, I’m the favorite. He would cover up a murder and help me hide the body if I asked him to.” I smirked, poking my tongue out at him.

Hours had passed and no one was telling me where we were going, looking around the cabin of the private jet I realized both Charles and Elenor were asleep but there was the soft glow from a phone coming from where Jax was sitting. Kicking the blanket off my body I pushed myself up to my feet making my way over to my brother.

“What’s up Squirt?” he asked, pulling out his headphones, pausing whatever movie he was watching .

“Just thinking about the future,” I whispered, settling on the seat next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I haven’t told Charles yet but I am actually nervous about starting with Ferrari at the start of the season.”

“Kiddo, you are gonna do amazing,” Jax whispered, gently squeezing my hand. “I don’t know why you kept your talent of photography a secret for all these years. Plus everyone already loves you.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at my older brother, “you are just saying that because we are family.” I scoffed.

“I am being serious and obviously Fred loves your work otherwise he wouldn’t have hired you.”

“I guess you are right,” I shrugged, trying to hide the yawn that escaped my lips.

“Squirt, I’m always right,” he smirked, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep.”

I was going to fight it but my body was screaming at me to get some rest, I had no idea what Charles was planning so decided Jax was once again right. Soon enough I found myself next to Charles, automatically I snuggled into his warm body letting his heartbeat be the soothing sound I needed to finally drift off to sleep.

Charles was a sneaky devil, the first thing I was surprised about was how I had no idea how he managed to plan a trip to Monaco to spend Christmas with his family without me realizing anything was going on, but it was like he knew what I needed. As much as I loved Charming and it would always be my home I needed to get away from it for a bit, in fact we all did, especially with it being the first Christmas without Pops. The second thing was he had packed the red dress that I told him had been banished to the back of the closet for the rest of eternity.

I couldn’t believe I agreed to try it on but the moment he slowly fastened the zipper on the back I was shocked. The dress fitted better now than it ever did when I first brought it. I was adamant this would never fit me again but one look in the mirror and I was practically reduced to tears. The moment I locked eyes with Charles through the reflection I finally felt beautiful, quietly and without me even realizing it the man I called my boyfriend had single handedly rebuilt my confidence bit by bit.

“Come on then, Sunshine, let's go for a walk,” he hummed, pressing a kiss against my cheek.

“Don’t you think we are a bit overdressed for a walk?” I questioned, spinning round letting my arms wrap around his neck.

“We are in Monaco, some people might think you are under dressed.”

“And what do you think, Mr Leclerc?” I purred, brushing my nose against his.

“Absolutely radiant,” he whispered, his lips gazing mine and his eyes darkening slightly as he spoke. “If I didn’t have plans for us I would be tearing it off with my teeth.”

Leaning up so I was on my tiptoes I brushed my lips against the shell of his ear feeling him shiver under my touch, “If that's the case I’d rather stay right here.”

“Stop being a tease, Teller,” he growled, tightening his grip on my hips. “I have something special planned so get that ass moving.”

The streets of Monaco looked absolutely stunning under the moonlight, I was slowly starting to feel the magic of Christmas returning. For once in my life I didn’t care if the press snapped a picture of me and Charles, nothing mattered at that moment.

Soon enough we came to the sea front and Charles came to a stop, swiftly kicking off his shoes and socks, “fancy a walk on the beach?” he asked, for some reason he was nervously looking around but I didn’t think anything of it

“Why not it’s a beautiful night,” I beamed, taking his hand as I pushed my heels off my feet.

There was no one else around making everything feel more romantic, like there was no one else on the planet and it was just me and Charles.

As we were walking across the sand I let my mind wander. The past five months had been an utter whirlwind, never in a million years did I think I would end up dating someone, let alone Charles Leclerc. I always refused to believe in soulmates, to me it was something companies made up to get money out of gullible couples but that all changed the moment Charles came speeding into my life. He caused my world to shift on its axis, he was the one who made me love again and if anyone asked if I believed in soulmates my answer was yes because Charles was mine. There was something about our connection that I couldn’t explain, it was like our souls had danced together in a previous lifetime.

Once again Charles came to a standstill, dropping our shoes onto the warm sand. “Nova Teller,” he whispered, taking my hands in his.

“Charles Leclerc,” I giggled, causing a large smile to appear on his beautiful face.

“The moment you came crashing into the bar reciting the Monza commentary I was drawn to you, I couldn’t get you out of my head. That night I found myself watching you move gracefully around the bar, laughing and joking with everyone.”

My heart started pounding against my chest as I realized what he was doing, this was the reason he wanted to dress up, why he wanted to go for a random walk on Christmas eve. Tears threatened to spill over my lash line as I found myself biting my tongue wanting to let him finish.

“I never thought I had a chance with you if I was being honest, but here we are spending one of many beautiful nights together. I have never loved anyone as much as I loved you. I made a vow to myself that I was never going to let myself fall in love again but that all changed the moment I laid eyes on you.” His eyes were glistening from unshed tears in the moonlight, his movements were slow as he dropped to one knee, pulling out a red velvet box from his jacket pocket.

My hand flew to my mouth as the tears started to fall. Never in a million years did I think I would get a moment like this and here I was experiencing it with Charles Leclerc.

“I couldn’t tell you at the time but this was the reason I had a call with JT, I didn’t want to do this without his blessing and Sunshine the first words out of his mouth was ‘it took you long enough to ask’” he chuckled, as he finally opened the box to reveal the most stunning ring I had ever seen. “So I’m not going to make you wait any longer, Nova Teller, will you be my wife, will you marry me?”

It was like the words got caught in my throat and the only thing I could do was nod my head like a madwoman. After what felt like an eternity I finally found my words. “Yes Char,” I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks as he slid the ring onto my finger. My heart was bursting with love, especially knowing that he rang Pops to make sure he had his blessing.

Once the ring was sat in the right position Charles pushed himself to his feet, pulling me in for the most passionate kiss we had ever had. I felt like I was in one of those cheesy rom coms, but it was perfection, better than I could have ever dreamt of. Slowly I pulled away from Charles resting my forehead against his, giving myself a chance to catch my breath from the kiss.

The man standing in my arms was the one who never stopped believing in me, and I was proud to call him my fiancé “Thank you for being here and not giving up on me,” I whispered, letting my eyes flutter close.

“Sunshine, I’m not going anywhere, plus you have said you will be my wife so baby you are kinda stuck with me now,” he hummed, running his fingers through my hair. He paused for a second, pressing a tender kiss to the top of my head. Nothing could match this feeling. For the first time in the past three months I realized there was light at the end of the tunnel. I knew I was going to be alright, as long as I had my family behind me and Charles standing by my side. I couldn’t prepare myself for the next five words to pass his lips, but it was the words I needed to hear from the man I loved.

“Till the wheels fall off.”

@withmyteeth @chibsytelford @stillbreathin @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @burningcupcakefire @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @angywritesstuff @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @buendiabebeta @ferrarifwendvale @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @queenslife @panicforspec @justme2042 @liv67 @derpinathebrave @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @raaaaabzzz @mehrmonga @sbgal @fangirl-lb @pitconfirmbutton @oslokij @tall-tanned-tattoo @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @babypink224221

[aliilafferty]

What is something that you can confess

That I don't think I could ever be confident in my own body. I’ve had an ED since I gained consciousness. Now I eat whatever I want but my relationship with food is always a constant battle. Having this disorder makes you physically and mentally ill. Someone who doesn’t have It wont understand. That fact of being in love with food and being over obsessively thinking about it but never getting yourself to actually want it. It effects the way you see your body. A couple sick days from a person with an immune disease almost makes you feel proud of yourself for not eating. That rumbling sound in your stomach gives yourself a pat on the back. Loving the first look of the way you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning. Watching food tiktoks even though you have such a hateful relationship with food. You notice some people notice you haven't been eating and then offer. Someone who doesnt have this disorder doesn’t know questioning weight or offering food can make you disgusted in yourself or make you wanna cry. Even though they might have good intentions they will never be good in your own mind. Someone who does have it will think your crazy even though doing things sometimes is totally normal to you. Like thinking to yourself did I eat today? What did I eat today? How much salt or sugar did I consume today? How many snacks? “If I eat shitty tonight I can eat healthier tomorrow” “I ate to many carbs I’ll eat only 2 meals today” “everyone around might think I’m a pig for getting a second plate” “some meats have bugs or might be spoiled or raw? Having this disorder is bb not only thinking about your wait. This is a mental illness that can take over your life at times. There were times when I would never eat in front off ppl my snacks were fruit or soup. Times where I had track, and an it together tag game in the same day when the burn in my body felt so good. Where multiple days of not eating the rumble goes away then theres this empty numbness in your belly. Then watching food videos to make your feel that hungriness. Where I couldn’t get my self to go out of the house because of how I looked. Days when I would cry and eat or binge snacks by myself and hiding it. When a normal person wouldn’t even think or question it. It will always be a life long journey the way my mind works but I can say I don't count calories or run twice a day anymore. Make sure to eat at least 3 meals a day. I remind myself its okay to have a second plate or not be able to finish my first. I never step on a scale unless its at the doctors. I eat whatever and whenever I want. I try not to look at the ingredients list or look at my food to long. I eat to enjoy or celebrate. Also if i feel that feeling in my tummy thats telling me to listen and take of my body. Reminding myself that its not a good feeling.

[iwadori]

Haikyu Boys when they make you insecure PT 2(Atsumu,Suna)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  Part 4  Part 5 Part 6

word count: 1.6K

Genre: angst,fluff

Masterlist

Atsumu:

You have been dating the great setter of the MSBY Jackals since your third year in highschool 

You’ve always been okay with his profession 

Even when it comes with the adoring fans he has (the ones that don’t necessarily like you..)

And the away games he goes to, that you can’t always go to because of your job.

You and Atsumu got to spend all of quarantine together, which was challenging at times. As you and Atsumu sometimes did have conflicting personalities but you loved being together for 8months + altogether. 

But now with the restrictions being lifted, Atsumu got to go back to practice and playing some games although you still got to work from home. Over lockdown, you do feel like you gained a bit of weight (which you didn’t pay much attention to since didn’t everyone gain some weight?) 

However, today you were scrolling through twitter, smiling fondly at the recent tweet ‘tsumu made about you;

@ ThebetterMiya: ‘Remember this @ *Insert your twitter handle here* ‘ 

It was a picture of the two of you in high school in your second year, with you giving Atsumu a hug just after his game against Karasuno. The memory made you smile, but your positive thoughts stopped after seeing a particular comment... “Y/N has definitely let herself go” it read.

 To your surprise Atsumu even liked the comment, you didn’t want to overthink things as you know that Atsumu just unconsciously likes comments and tweets without thinking all the time. But you can’t lie and say you didn’t agree with the comment. 

For the rest of the day, you spent your time googling and searching personal trainers and gyms that were open for you to go to and new healthy diet plans to try

.Atsumu came home a while later, tired and grumpy claiming that coach worked him extra hard in practice. Because of your newfound idea to start eating and being more healthy, you decided to have one last day of ‘letting go’ so your ordered yours and ‘tsumu’s favourite take out.

Whilst eating dinner, you were going INNN as you should  because this is basically your ‘last meal’ you were going to have. ‘tsumu caught onto your cavemen-like way of eating which made him chuckle a bit. “Hey babe, woahh you’re really hungry aren’t ya?” 

His comment threw you off, even though you know that he probably didn’t mean anything by it but from the comment on his twitter earlier and how you already feel about yourself it just didn’t help.

“Well what do you mean about that?” you say a little agressively “you think i’m getting bigger right?”

Your question threw him off guard since he didn’t mean that “well Y/N I know you’ve kinda let youself go a bit and you’re obviously not the weight you were when we 16 but-” before he could finish you get up out of your seat and rushed to your room with tears in your eyes, missing the end of his sentence which was “but I still think you’re beautiful” he murmurs.

He decided to give you some space for a bit, and before approaching he see’s your phone ringing (lets just say you and Atsumu have ultimate trust so you can answer eachothers phones :3) “Hello is this Y/N L/N” the person on the otherside of the phone asked 

“No, this is Miya Atsumu” your boyfriend replied 

“Oh! Miya-san i’m a big fan of you!” he started making Atsumu chuckle “I was just calling Y/N to say i’m available next week saturday to start training”

‘Training?’ Atsumu thought “Can I ask what training you’re preparing for with Y/N” he asks

“Oh I am a personal trainer.” he replied “ Well that’s all I can say, can you please tell Y/N-san to call me again so we can work out times.” he ended the call.

Atsumu goes into your shared-bedroom where he finds you on your laptop looking at ‘weight loss’ tips. He goes over to you and closes your laptop lid and pulls your hand to lead you to the mirror in the room. He stands you in front of it and puts his arms around your waist and his head on your shoulder.

“You’re beautiful Y/N” he says, sparking more tears in your eyes “I think you misunderstood what I said earlier, you. are. goregous. babe” he says punctuating every single word. “Even, if you feel like you gained weight, or lost weight or whatever I will always think your beautiful. If you feel like you want or need to change I will definitely support you along the way, but I think you’re amazing Y/N.”

“Thank you ‘tsumu” you start “ I do feel a bit insecure about the way I look right now, and I’m sorry for my abrupt leave at dinner but I do feel like my body is gross but I do want to try to see myself the way you see me.”

After many efforts from Atsumu, you definitely fell back in love with your body wether you were bigger or small you didn’t care cause you knew you were beautiful either way and so did Atsumu which he reminded you of that every single day.

AN: Can someone give me a synonym for beautfiul lmao cause that’s the only word I can think to use lol.

Suna:

You and Suna have always surprised people when they find out that you’re together.

Since your loud and talkative personality mixed with his quiet and nonchalantness is that a word? seems to not work well for other people

But opposites attract right?

You just finished the last episode of Kakegurui and were excited for your boyfriend to come home so you can tell him about it. You and Suna have been dating for a few years, after you confessed to him in front of all the boys in the gym in your 3rd year.

Suna enters the house mumbling a soft “Hi Y/N” to which you responded back with “Hi suna” rushing towards your boyfriend with a big hug. 

He slightly recoiled back out of your hug making you frown, to which he used the excuse of ‘I smell bad from practice let me take a shower.’ Whilst he was in the shower you decided to make some dinner for you both since it seems that Suna is a bit ‘grumpy’ today.

Once he exits the shower, and gets changed, he sees the table set out with the delicious food you made. You exit the bathroom to see him sat down already eating his plate. “How do you like it ?” you ask him wanting to know his opinion on your food.

“It’s good” he mumbles, continuing to shove food in his mouth. A bit bothered by the lack of response, you decide to talk about the newest episode in the hopes of lighting the mood. “Last episode of Kakegurui was great Rin, you should’ve seen it I really love mary. She’s great, I am a Mary Saotome simp through and through I still didn’t get the game they played but who cares? I can’t wait for season 3 to come out, I’ve already ordered the first 3 volumes of the Kakegurui twin manga, do you think it’s as good as the manga since I do think it’ll probably be better since it is Mary-centric and who hates mary since she-” You ramble on not taking notice of the bubbling annoyance that Suna seemed to have.

“Can you just shut up Y/N” he shouted making you flinch “ You’re so fucking talktative gosh” he got up and left the house slamming the door shut making you jump again. 

Instead of wallowing in your bed you decide on going out the library to go and read a good book (something that always makes you feel better) forgetting the harsh tone that Suna used with you. You were only trying to lighten the mood...

You got too engrossed with your books to notice how the sun is now gone and it was pitch black outside, the librarian notified you that it was time to go, you figure that if Suna was back at home he would’ve cooled down now so you can have a proper conversation which to be honest, you didn’t really want one.

Once you enter your house, Suna rushes towards you enveloping you in a big hug murmuring a “Oh thank god I was so worried” he tried to give you a kiss on the forehead but you recoil out of it, just as he did to you earlier. 

“I think i’m going to go to bed Rin” you say quietly trudging towards your bedroom and getting immediately in your bed. Suna stood there in the spot you left him in feeling bad for what he said to you at dinner. He goes into you bedroom and see you on your bed and silently gets into it next to you.

“Y/N I know you probably don’t want to hear me right now, but I am sorry” You don’t respond but slowly move closer to him letting him put his arm around you. Because of your silence Suna continues to speak “Umm...I watched the last episode earlier and you were right Mary Saotome is the goat but.... yumeko is better” he said teasingly 

This made you smile, as this is what you wanted a nice moment with your boyfriend talking about the last episode of your favourite show. You spend the rest of the night arguing over which character is better and decide to start Demon Slayer together, with Suna enjoying your after episode talks that you have.

AUTHOR NOTE: I was really excited to write for Suna and Atsumu but I have a fat migraine so i’m so sorry for it not being thattt gooood today :// but I hope you enjoy it regardless 

[pianorexic000]

Sweetspo Saturday

Hi y’all, so today is sweetspo Saturday.......

it speaks for itself. By the way, none of these are mine. I take no credit I have 0 creativity.

I dream of collarbones and thigh gaps, of hips jutting out and ribs just visible, casting shadows on porcelain flesh. I dream of crop tops and denim shorts, of thigh highs and sugar highs. And when I lay in bed at night, counting the calories of the day before my mind can’t help but wander, and I press into my doughy stomach, feel the hips hiding underneath, and remind myself how far I’ve come, and how far I still have to go.

Please listen, I know, I know it’s hard but listen, focus, you, you the most beautiful person on this whole entire planet you are going to make it, I promise you sweetheart, you’re going to make it. Think about it, think about how skinny you’ll be, how happy you will be, how you are going to be able to wear what you want, how you are going to be able to eat what you want and no one is going to make you feel bad for eating, no one. They’re going to be jealous, so fucking jealous, jealous of how you look and how you feel. They’re going to envy you. So stand up, keep your pretty head up and go. Exercise, drink water, eat less, eat healthy, sleep, do yoga, dance around. Get skinny and be finally happy. Please be finally happy.

You’ve been so disappointed in yourself lately. You’ve cursed those girls with a fast metabolism and regretted so much, sweetie. Countless of times you’ve thought, planned and wished to be skinny. I know you want this so badly, honey. But it’s never going to be given to you, sugar. You have to work for it and make yourself proud! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

I know you’re very impatient with your weight-loss. You want to lose it NOW and would do anything to wake up tomorrow at you ugw. But that’s never going to happen, doll. It’ll take time, but you will get there, sweetie. You just have to be persistent and never give up. The road is very long, and there will be days where it’ll feel hopeless, angel. But i promise you that those days where you feel incredibly sexy and comfortable in your own skin are just around the corner. You’ll get there baby, but it’ll take time. So don’t beat yourself up.

You’ll look good in everything; you remember that bikini with the cute print? yes, you’ll look beautiful in it. you won’t look like a fat pig.

people will be jealous; they’ll envy you. you’ll become thinner while others are getting fatter.

you’ll be dainty; you’ll be the lightest in the room. everyone will be able to pick you up effortlessly.

others will compliment you; people will look at you and say “wow, have you lost weight?” “you look great!” “i wish i looked like you.”

you won’t be able to keep more than a cup of food down; you’ve trained your body, you and your body both know its limits.

you’ll have power; you can can control how you look, you’ll have control. self control instead of eating everything in sight. you’ll be proud when you refuse a chocolate bar someone is offering.

are you going to keep saying “i’ll do it tomorrow”

or are you going to start today?

you’ll get there sweetie, make them regret the day they dare call you fat; they’ll start talking GOOD behind your back; “she is losing so much weight omg” “ i wanna look like her.” “im so jealous of her tiny waist.”

make it happen, you cause the gain of weight

and the loss of weight.

It's Okay!

You were really bad this weekend weren’t you? You ate fatty food and cheated on your diet? I know you bash yourself for pushing yourself further from your goal, but it was just Easter and you were enjoying spending time with your family. Unfortunately that included eating. Thin is all you think about cutie, why would you stuff your face uncontrollably like that, sugar? You can’t stop now, i know it’s hard but it’ll be worth it in the end.

Meanspo

Dear You,

You’ve grown up being the “big” girl. You’ve grown up being the “I want seconds” girl. You entered college being the “let’s eat out because it’s easier” girl.

When will you be the “I eat healthy” girl? The “people can pick me up” girl? The “I love my body” girl?

Today? Oh, right, you say tomorrow. Funny, that’s what you said yesterday.

It’s YOUR fault you’re fat. You don’t control your fatty urges to binge and stuff your face. One day, you’ll regret that. And that day is TODAY. If you regret it, then make a change. Skip that meal. Eat less calories. Exercise and burn what you have consumed and stored from your past pathetic eating habits. Get rid of your fatty urges. BECOME SKINNY…Become beautiful. Because if you don’t start today, you’ll only hate yourself tomorrow… again.

Do it. Do it so you can wear cute short shorts without everyone looking at your thighs and being disgusted.

Do it for that bitch who always called you fat at middle school.

Do it for that fuckboy who never looked at you as girlfriend potencial.

Do it so you can be confident.No seriously you’ll never be confident with that big tummy dude.

Do it so you don't ALMOST DIE in fitting rooms.

Do it for the cute clothes.

Do it for the summer.

Do it for the pool parties and how all of your friends will be SHOOK at your perfect body.

Do it for that life little baby. You deserve it. You deserve so much happiness.

Imagine you’re sitting at your desk in your perfectly decorated bedroom. You’re doing school work (all A’s of course), and since the lighting is good, you stop studying for a second and take a selfie.

You notice your collarbones are perfectly peaking out, and your chest bones are slightly visible. You have no makeup on but you still look absolutely gorgeous. Your flawless skin (that you got from not eating junk food all the time) looks great on your camera. Your thin arms look especially toned in this picture, and your smile is unforgettable.

You decide to post it to Instagram, and it instantly gets likes and comments saying how gorgeous you look. You want to keep studying…but the amount of likes and attention is distracting!

You think to yourself “Amazing how my life has changed. 30lbs ago I barely got 30 likes. My grades were bad and I had horrible acne…it’s so great what being thin can do to a person”

One day I won’t have to suck in

One day I’ll sit down and not have belly rolls

One day my thighs won’t touch

One day I’ll be able to see my ribs

One day I’ll step on the scale and smile

One day I’ll be able to smile at my protruding collar bones

One day I’ll wear the clothes I want

One day I’ll be confident

One day I’ll be skinny

do it for the boy who leaves your snapchats at read. imagine how quickly he’ll reply when he sees how good you look in your new body. do it for the girls you envy, the girls who show up in crop tops and short shorts whilst you hide behind a baggy sweater. imagine how proud you’ll feel when you can finally wear what you want and look just as good, if not better than them. do it for the people who bullied you about your weight and the boys who turned you down because of it. watch them gawk and whisper among themselves at how much weight you’ve lost. do it for the mean girls, the ones that walk around school like they own the place, the ones who’s parties you never get invited to, the ones that all the boys want. prove yourself to them. soon they’ll notice you and you’ll be too proud to care. own your new found confidence, throw your own parties, feel wanted. do it for the boy you’ve been crushing on since the first time you met. make him want you just as you wanted him. laugh at yourself as he chases after you. watch him suffer just as you did. do it for the bikini you’ve never had the body to wear. make your old self proud. wear that bikini. finally feel good in it. go to the beach and the pool and show it off. it belongs on you. do it for yourself. do it for your own happiness and do it right now. you deserve this. it might take some time and maybe you’re growing impatient. but it’s okay, everything good takes time. so be safe, stay strong, and don’t give up. this will be worth the wait. trust me.

I literally cannot fucking wait until I’m thin. I can’t wait to not feel like the outsider in my friend group. I can’t wait to not feel like the ugly friend. I can’t wait to be as thin as my best friend and for people to not see me as a charity case. I can’t wait to be able to go shopping and not worry about what will hide my fat. I can’t wait to see my collarbones and feel great in shorts. I can’t wait to be able to post selfies confidently from any angle and get as many likes as all the thin girls from school. I can’t wait to be someone else’s thinspo. I can’t wait to be happy with myself. I can’t wait to be thin.

Okie lovey, I know you might have had a rough couple of days or maybe you’ve been doing everything right and you just need a little pick me up. That’s okay too. I’m here for you, maybe not there physically but I’m still here. Make some tea, and take a bath; while you’re in there light a few candles and take time for yourself. Paint your nails read a book or simply think about bettering yourself. You’re almost there, I’m so excited for you! I’m going to be there when you cross that finish line (UGW). Finished with tea? Are you hungry? No. Exactly, chin up sweetheart, you got this. I love you

10 Reasons I want to be Thin

1. A flat stomach looks so good in anything. 2. No more armpit fat. 3. Finally have a thigh gap (again). 4. Feel beautiful and in control 5. people you already know will ask you how you did it, new people you meet will fall in love with you. 6. Go on adventures and have fun without worrying about your fat jiggling around. 7. Tan outside or at the lake without wanting to die because you’re too fat for a bikini. 8. Going out to parties and making friends because you’re confident and beautiful. 9. Not wanting to cry every time you see your full body in a mirror/ reflection. 10. Not crying in general anymore. Finally being happy.

11 Reasons Why I'm Doing This

1. To be the skinny friend

2. So I can be lifted up and be called light

3. To wear anything and still look cute

4. To have pretty bones to show off

5. To hear those words; ‘Have you lost weight?’

6. To not feel guilty when having a sweet treat (occasionally!)

7. To wear tight jeans and not have a muffin top

8. To not want to cry every time I look in the mirror

9. To not feel embarrassed in a bikini or swimsuit

10. To sit on someone’s lap without fear of crushing them

11. To finally feel happy with myself

They are in the kitchen making dinner. It smells so good, and all you want to do is have some. But would that make you happy? Would that food actually do anything for you? Sure, it would taste good. But as soon as you swallow, it would be gone. You’d take a drink of water, and the taste would wash away. Five minutes of fun, and then you’d be full. Full of food, regret, hate, shame, and disgust. Today would be yet another day wasted. So go ahead, eat the food. Be the fat tub of lard you always have been. Or don’t. Don’t eat the food. Be a day closer to your goal.

The choice is yours.

[whiskery-louis]

Body Image

Calum Hood x Reader

Warnings: Body image, body shaming, self esteem issues, angst

A/N: This is my first Cal writing. I've been reading a lot about him and I just love him so please enjoy BestFriend!Cal

Word Count: 2.2k

I sighed turning around to look at myself in the mirror once more, my mouth twisted to the side as I studied the third outfit I had tried on. I wanted to believe I looked as good in it as Katie had convinced me when we were at the mall. I wiped at the tear that threatened to fall down my face. I don’t know why I agreed to go out tonight anyways, I thought it would help me feel better after the break up but as I looked at myself in the mirror all the things he said to me were running through my head.

My body didn’t fall under society's standard notion of beauty. I was always a little bit heavier than most, my stomach being a bit rounder, my thighs a bit larger and my arms a bit jiggly. It was always something that I struggled with, but being told by someone that you love that they are breaking up with you because of your weight will really mess with you. I used to enjoy buying new clothes and getting dressed up, but now all I see are my flaws. I did what I could to keep my mind off my body image, but it's not easy with social media being a constant reminder. I spent most of my days in t-shirts and sweatpants praying the baggy clothes wouldn’t call unwanted attention to my stomach.

I sighed again as I pulled the shirt over my head and replaced it with a t-shirt. I didn’t feel up to going out anymore, being unable to like anything on my body really put a toll on my mental health.

I sent Katie a quick text to let her know I wanted to stay in. I knew she was worried about me, but she was the only one who knows why Dalton really broke up with me and didn’t have the heart to drag me out to a bar when she knew how much I was struggling. Katie tried to convince me to tell Calum but I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else pitying me. Everyone else though that Dalton and I broke up over commitment issues and I let them think that. It was less embarrassing than the truth. Katie tried to tell me that Dalton was the one who should be embarrassed for how he treated me at the end, but whenever she tried to bring it up I changed the subject. I wasn’t ready to admit that I believed everything he said about me.

I trudged down to the kitchen to find something to eat, I was really craving some comfort food but after being upset with how I looked in every outfit I opted to make a salad. I plopped down on the couch mindlessly scrolling through Netflix before settling on New Girl. My pity party was interrupted by two quick knocks on the door. I hoped they had the wrong apartment, but two more knocks quickly followed. I groaned as I stood up and trudged my way to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Calum in the hallway holding a pizza.

“Go away, I’m not in the mood,” I called through the door.

“Come on Y/N open up! Katie told me you canceled again tonight. I”m not letting you spend another Friday night alone.”

I mentally cursed Katie, vowing to send her a strongly worded text later.

“I’m fine Cal really, just had a long week.”

“I’m not leaving Y/N, and if you don’t let me in I’ll just sit out here singing all night.”

I hit my head against the door knowing Cal wasn’t going anywhere. I unlocked the door and walked back to the couch knowing he would hear it and come in automatically. I picked up my salad, taking another bite but I lost my appetite at the smell of the pizza wafting from the kitchen.

“Where are all your plates? Nevermind I’m bringing the whole box in, I’m starving anyway.”

He set the pizza down on the coffee table and threw his body on the couch next to me, nearly crushing me under his weight.

“Cal...can’t...breathe,” I muttered. “Why are you crushing me?”

“Missed you, we’ve barely hung out since I got back from tour. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Have not.” I pushed at his chest and managed to create enough space between the two of us that I was able to scoot back to the other side of the couch. Calum sat up and pouted at me, while I just rolled my eyes at him.

“Have so, ever since you broke up with Dalton you’ve shut me out. I’ve tried to give you space but I can’t standby anymore knowing that you're hurting and do nothing to help.”

“Cal I really am okay, I just needed time to process.” I glanced over to him to see that he was staring at me with a look of disbelief on his face.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying. If you’re as fine as you say you are then why haven’t you touched the pizza I brought. I got it plain with extra cheese and a large side of ranch. You’re favorite.”

I shrugged, “I’m not hungry,” I mumbled, not even believing my own lie. “I had a salad.”

“You mean the one sitting there that looks barely eaten,” he looked at me, his eyebrow raised, clearly seeing through my bullshit. “Katie told me that there is more to your breakup with Dalton than you’re leading on. Plus talk to me Y/N, I’m worried about you.”

I sighed and pulled the nearest blanket over my body, I felt nearly naked under Calum’s stare. He always had a way of knocking down my defences and convincing me to let him help. I didn’t want his help this time though, I was too scared to admit that Dalton was right about me, I had barely admitted it to myself, let alone tell Cal. We sat there in silence, him waiting for me to speak and me playing with the edge of the blanket praying he would drop it.

“Hey,” Cal reached out and placed his hand on my knee, “you can tell me anything you know that right?”

I don’t know if it was the look of concern in his eyes or the comfort from the circles he was rubbing on my knee but my walls were slowly breaking down like they always did around Calum.

“I lied to you about the breakup like Katie said, we didn’t break up because Dalton couldn’t commit. He’s the one who broke up with me.” Cal shot me a confused look, not knowing why I would lie to him about something like this, but he didn’t interrupt me. “He told me that I gained a few too many pounds the last few months and didn’t listen when he told me to eat better or get out more. He said he couldn’t be with someone who let herself go and that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore.”

“What a fucking ass, I’m so sorry that he said that to you Y/N. I’m going to fucking kill him,” Cal spoke through his teeth, trying to quell the anger rising in him with every word I spoke. I could tell that it was taking everything in him to not run out of the house in search of Dalton to beat him for hurting me like this. And it was the last thing I wanted.

“Cal it’s fine,” I shrugged, pulling the blanket closer to me. “It’s not like he’s wrong anyways.” I whispered under my breath instantly regretting it when I realized Calum heard me. His head snapped to me, jaw slightly open in shock at what he just heard.

“Y/N you know that everything that prick said about you was wrong right? You have to know how beautiful you are.”

A scoff escaped my lips before I could stop it. “You have to say that Cal, you’re my best friend but please don’t lie to me. I don’t deserve your pity, it’s why I didn’t want to tell you. He just confirmed what I’ve always known deep down. I’m not worth it, I’m not beautiful and I just have to accept it and move on with my life.”

It was silent after I spoke. I could see the gears turning in Cal’s head as he processed what I just said. This was exactly why I had been avoiding him since the breakup, I knew once we talked about it I would admit that I believed everything Dalton said about me. It was the worst part of the breakup, knowing that my deepest insecurities came to light and were thrown in my face like that.

Cal moved slightly on the couch, moving his hand from my knee to take the blanket out of my hands. He pulled the blanket off me and tossed it on the floor. He wrapped his one hand around mine, moving the other to my chin so I was looking into his eyes as he spoke.

“Y/N please believe me when I say you are beautiful. Inside and out. I love everything about you and I’m not just saying this as your best friend. Dalton is a dick for saying those things about your body and they are so far from the truth. I know you’ve always struggled with your body image but believe me when I say that I love your body. I love the wrinkles around your eyes when you laugh, I love that you aren’t as skinny as those instagram models, it shows that you’re real and that you take care of your body by eating. I love that you can put a whole pizza away faster than me and the guys, it’s one of my favorite memories. I love your stretch marks, they are a unique map of only your body. I love how your body feels like it was made for me. I never want you to hate your body because it is an amazing thing. Fuck Y/N can’t you see that you are perfect to me, every last inch of you. Your eyes, your hand give the best massages, fuck even your boobs are fucking perfect-”

Calum’s eyes widened as he realized he got a little carried away with his speech praising my body. I’m sure my face mirrored his. I never knew Calum felt this way, never imagine this would be his reaction when I told him the truth about the breakup. I couldn’t help the small smile that was forming on my lips. There was a new tension in the air that wasn’t there before. It was a new feeling between Cal and I, but there was something so natural about it. Deciding to cross the line, I reached out for his free hand. His eyes narrowed at my touch, trying to decipher what I was going to do next. I looked him in the eyes as I slowly pulled his hand closer to me, placing it on my side just below my breast.

“What were you saying about my boobs being perfect?”

He eyed me tentatively, trying to gauge my response to what he just said. “Y/N what are you-”

I cut him off. “Calum thank you for saying all that. You don’t know how much that means to me. I realized Dalton was a dick but it was still hard to hear. But you-you always know just want to say to make me feel better. It’s something I still have to work on and I think having you by my side will help. I think we both knew this was going to happen one day Cal. It’s always been you and me, so why can’t one day be today? So again, what were you saying about my boobs?”

My breath hitched as Cal moved his hand slowly up from my side to cup my breast.

“I said your boobs are fucking perfect, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pictured them bouncing as you ride me.”

Now it was my turn to pick my jaw off the floor. I wasn’t expecting that comment to come from him. He chuckled as his lustful eyes met my shocked ones.

“I’m going to show you just how much I love your body.”

I woke up the next morning, rolled over and collided with a solid body. I opened my eyes and saw Calum looking down at me with a small smile on his face.

“Good morning beautiful,” he moved his head to give me a peck on the lips. “How did you sleep?”

I smiled back at him, “Good, glad last night wasn’t a dream.”

“How’re you feeling this morning?”

I snuggled closer to his chest, “I feel much better than I did yesterday. I feel like I could learn to love myself with your help.” I pressed a kiss to his neck.

“I like the sound of that. Maybe I can show you how beautiful you are again after breakfast.”

[lemonlushff-iy]

History Lesson in how OLR came to be...

A year ago, @clearwillow, @dawnrider, and @keichanz had just finished what would be known as the spontaneous Vday “hot off” of 2020, and it was decided that white day was going to just be a repeat of what we had just done...only we wanted everyone to participate and it was going to be open to all, and you could do whatever you wanted. Tease us. Post completed pieces. What have you. 

Shortly after, I fell into a VERY bad depression. I’m not shy about it. I’m not shy about my feelings or saying I’m hurt. I think people should be able to say that, and have it not be taboo. So I’m open about it. I wasn’t well. I felt inadequate. Like what I wrote was terrible. Like people within the fandom ONLY liked me because I was there for them 24/7 hyping up their work and singing their praises. I was the fandom hype girl. It felt like none of my friendships were REAL. 

And I’d been ok with that. 

Until I wasn’t. 

And a year ago today...I decided that I wanted to work past those feelings. I’d been struggling with them for about two days at this point, and I’d been looking at Carra’s pixiv and was completely CAPTIVATED by her work. Specifically, New Moon Ride, which has since been colorized. I was nervous and so low...I’d removed myself almost entirely from discord and tumblr, but I really wanted to participate in White Day, and I had this...idea in my head about this girl returning home and having a fling with a cattle rancher. I wanted it to be like Sweet Home Alabama (which is an Easter Egg for those of you on Patreon, and something to look for for those who aren’t).

Needless to say...

My depression made me miss the mark on that...

But I very nervously went to Carra who was this FANDOM GOD and asked “Hey...Would it be ok if I did this?” Needless to say...She said yes, and in doing so...She gave me this AMAZING gift. 

It was supposed to be a one shot just for White Day. I’d INTENDED for it to be a PWOP. The depression got the best of me though, and that...Clearly didn’t happen. Instead I started pouring all of these feelings I had inside of me into this story instead...And it’s become one of the greatest gifts of my life. It’s my emotional support fic. It takes all the bad and painful away from me. And I WISH that what I’d been feeling a year ago was the end of it, but it was only the beginning of it...And One Last Ride has been there for me for all of it. 

Providing me with an outlet for all of the feelings I’ve had. It’s allowed me to deal with a LOT. Drama. Friendships that died and times when I was shut out. Feelings regarding my own late father. General depression. 

One Last Ride has become deeply meaningful and a piece of my SOUL.

So...Thank you Carra for this AMAZING gift you’ve given me. You never knew when you drew that photo what you were about to unleash...But...I’m OH so very glad you did...

And in the spirit of how I started One Last Ride a year ago...

I offer you ALL a piece of post canon smut. It’s just a ficlet because...I just FINALLY finished the FIRST ACTUAL smut in One Last Ride (nearly a year later) and wanted to save my bandwidth for MORE smut...Can ya blame me?

And now, a short fic...

“Inuyasha...she could hear…” Kagome weakly protested, trying to push her husband away from her. 

“She won’t notice,” he soothed, continuing to suckle at her pulse point. “She’s watching that thing with the talking animals.”

“That narrows it down,” she gasped, feeling his tongue burn a path up the column of her neck. 

“I turned on the tv and she pointed. I weren’t about to ask questions,” he growled, pushing his hips into the swell of her ass, allowing her to feel the hardness between his legs. “‘Sides. I’m still cold from building that damn igloo with her. I need my sexy wife to warm me up.”

Yes...but they had been so cute. She loved watching the two of them play together. And watching him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from swearing when it kept collapsing. She knew that even though it hadn’t worked, he was going to go back out there tonight and figure out how to build Moroha her igloo. Even if it took him until 3 am, he was going to surprise his princess with one in the morning, no matter what. 

And she loved that about him.

“Giving her a shower didn’t do the trick?”

“Please,” he snorted. “All it did was leave me soaked. And all I wanna do is make you wet,” he murmured, slipping a hand under her shirt and laying his palm against the soft, relatively flat skin of her stomach. 

“Yash…”

“She won’t hear,” he promised, his hands coming to cup her breasts over the lace of her bra. “Washer and dryer will be too loud and she will be too distracted…”

“But what about the cookies...”

“We still have ten minutes.”

“And when she tries to take them out of the oven on her own? She has a little too much of you in her, you know,” Kagome replied dryly as his fingers found the tip of her nipple. The pad of his thumb gently brushed against her sensitive skin, making her bite the inside of her cheek.

“Better make it eight then...”

“That sure of yourself,” she challenged, his gentle ministrations to her body was making it hard for her to continue to resist him. 

“I know you, woman…” he growled as he reached out to find the doorknob of the laundry room, and swiveled the lock into place. 

Good. 

No interrupting daughters. 

“I know what makes you wet,” he continued, pulling the lace cups of her bra down before lifting the wire frames up and away from her breasts to rest above them on her chest. He felt their weight in his palms, tweaking her nipples and making her head fall back onto his shoulder. 

“D-do you now,” she breathed as he found the lobe of her ear, pulling it between his fangs and suckling on it. 

“I think I do, Kags,” he smirked, one of his palms sliding down her rib cage and over the soft, silvery lines of her stomach to the band of her pants. He felt her freeze in his arms as his palms connected with those lines, and he kissed her that much harder.

She hated those lines. She’d done everything she could when she was pregnant to avoid them, but they came anyways, despite her efforts. She thought they made her ugly. 

He thought they made her sexier. 

“Stop it,” he reprimanded, kissing her jaw lovingly. He knew what that look meant. She was thinking about them again. How her body had changed since giving him the most precious gift in his life. He hated when she did that. “You’re beautiful. Fucking sexy as hell. I’ll tell you that every damn day ‘till I die. I wouldn't change a thing about you.”

“Yash,” she breathed, turning her head and allowing him to capture her lips in a sweet, loving kiss. He was so good with words...but his lips were even better at this. He had a way of reaffirming everything he said with his hands. His touch. His body. 

The only sounds that could be heard in the small space of their laundry room, were the sounds of the dryer turning and spinning the wet clothes inside, and their heavy breathing. The sounds of their lips moving wetly against one another as he showered her with affection. Showed her how much he loved her. Expressed his need for her and her body. 

Her hands slowly wound their way into his hair, finding his ears. She rubbed them between her finger tips, starting at the base and slowly working her way towards the fuzzy tips. He moaned against her lips and lifted her shirt, lowering his head to her soft breasts. His tongue found her nipples and she felt him swirl it around her sensitive flesh as his hands worked the band of her panties and leggings down her legs. 

“Yash,” she moaned, his name clawing its way out of her throat against her will. 

“Shhh...You need to keep it down, Darling,” he reprimanded, pulling away from her trembling form as he worked one of her feet out the bottom of the mess of clothing. “You don’t want her to hear.”

“I thought you said she wouldn’t be able to hear,” She replied, panic beginning to bloom in the pit of her stomach. Oh god...They hadn’t had any situations with Moroha yet, but she didn’t want to explain this to her daughter yet either. 

“She can’t,” he soothed, the velvety tone of his voice slowly calming her as he lifted her leg over his shoulder, kissing her thigh. “But you can’t start getting loud neither. No screaming, remember? Anyone would be able to hear that. Demon blood or not.”

Her cheeks turned bright red at the reminder of just how loud she could be, and then red from the feeling of his tongue slipping between her lips. He zeroed in on her clit, and her nails scraped against his scalp. Soft little moans of pleasure crawled out of the back of her throat. 

He used them as a guide as he slipped his fingers inside. Watched the trembling of her abdomen. The heaving of her breasts as she tried to steady her breathing. 

And then she was gnashing her bottom lip, her face twisting and eyes screwing shut as her orgasm swept through her body. He held her, let her ride his face as she came - let her pull his hair and whimper his name against the palm of her hand. 

When she’d finished, he pulled away from her and lowered his sweatpants and boxer briefs, allowing them to pool at his ankles as his hardness sprang free. 

Fuck, he was so hard. 

And she was so ready for him.

“Should have a few more minutes still,” he commented, turning her around against the washing machine. She lifted her leg, his hands coming to softly grip her delicate flesh in his palms and support her. 

“Should?”

“I’ll hear when the timer goes off, don’t worry,” he soothed, lining the head of his cock up with her entrance. He slowly sank inside, his head falling to her shoulder, and kissed her neck. “God Kags…”

“Mmm…” she agreed, her head rolling back onto his shoulder as his fangs scraped against her pulse point. 

He slowly thrust into her, his hips gaining in speed and setting a vigorous pace as he took her from behind. He sought out all the places he knew she loved, and his fingers brushed through the patch of curls at the apex of her thighs to locate her clit. The tips of his fingers swirled around it as he continued to work her from behind until the coil that had been tightening in her snapped. 

The hand that had been holding her hip, guiding hers into his, released it to slap over her lips as he nervously glanced at the door. 

“Shhh...Kags…” he grunted, his eyes screwing shut. He couldn’t take much more…

He was almost there…

“Cum for me, Yash,” she begged, lowering his hand so her words wouldn't be muffled. 

“Kags…”

What was all he needed. He tumbled, over the edge of the abyss, allowing his orgasm to sweep through him as he spilled himself inside her. 

“Yash,” she soothed, feeling his body go limp against hers. “What got into you today,” she throatily chuckled, and he rubbed his forehead against her shoulder blade. 

“Nothing,” he sighed, burying his face into her neck and inhaling deeply as his cock slipped out from between her folds. 

“Liar,” she teased, watching as he dropped to his knees to use his tongue and mouth to clean up the mess he’d made in her. “You normally keep it in your pants until she’s sleeping.”

Catching him red handed, was she?

He couldn’t lie. It wouldn’t get him anywhere. 

“I want another one, Kags.”

“Another one?” she pressed, her brow furrowing in confusion, and he nervously nodded his head. 

“Another baby. She’s getting older...And this house is too big for just the three of us...and I miss it. Having a baby around. And she wants a sibling too. All her friends have one. And I...I...I dunno...I just...Do.”

His words were so sweet. So soft and tender. 

“Yash…”

“Don’t say no just yet,” he pleaded, pulling his sweatpants up as he stood. “Promise me you’ll think about it...And...And please don’t be mad...It’s been on ma mind a while, but you ain’t even ovulating now. But thinking about another one and how much fun we had trying ta get Mo...Well…”

So that was why. It all made sense now. 

“I promise I’ll think about it Yash,” she grinned, pulling her leggings back up her legs and adjusting herself within the cups of her bra as the timer went off in the kitchen. 

“Mommy? Daddy?”

“That’s our cue,” he sighed, relief washing over him as he pulled away from her and slipped out of the laundry room. 

She’d think about it. It weren’t a yes...but he didn’t need one right now. That could come later. 

Right now, he just wanted her to think about the possibility of adding another one to their happily ever after. 

And it was a pretty damn sweet happily ever after, if he did say so himself.

[lixie-lovie]

{ Rogue princess | skz }

l.felix x f!reader

Genre: ??? fluff, angst ig, royalty au, princess!reader, star child!felix, idk u tell me

Warnings: a bit angsty, bad relationships at the beginning, issues with parents, vague mention of past death, mention of animals, mentions of running away

((If anything needs to be added to warnings, lmk! I’ll fix it asap))

Word Count: 5.2k

Note: did I write this literally to comfort myself today? Yes. Have fun reading this reallllyyy self indulgent fic lolz. Hope anyone reading this has a good day! Ily

——————

A throne made of gold and satin-like velvet, all tyrian purple. Too large this seat felt, as did the hall full of people standing under gilded light filtering through the large stained glass window. Here you sat, next to your father in an even more ornate throne, in front of a crowd of people who knew your name, your face, but nothing of your soul.

They couldn’t name that green was your favorite color because of the trees you would catch glimpses of through the windows of your tutors room, ever strong through the seasons never having to carry the weight of a kingdom. They would never be able to name why ships made you weary and claustrophobic or that your favorite flowers of springtime are those that bloom away from the castles gardens when eyes aren’t watching. They couldn’t guess your favorite piece of music, the one you never heard at those god forsaken balls. They never could place that instead your favorite would be the one that came ever so gracefully from under your mother’s fingertips at the piano that used to spark so much joy in the hearts of the people, but now sat lonely collecting dust. They didn’t know you longed to reach the stars someday, yearning for their delicate freedom in the inky black sky. They couldn’t tell that you wondered if they felt out of place too.

More so than anything else, they could never guess how much you hated staring at the men kneeling before you now, begging for a wife, a servant to their needs of pleasure, for the sake of “peace.” They would never know the disgust that sent a shiver down your spine at the twisted grin of these men that took your fingers in their too rough grasp and kissed that back of your hand, their sin tainted lips lingering moments too long. Their hands twitching at their sides with their sickening thoughts as they watched you stand from your throne, adjusting the circlet of silver adorning your perfectly crafted hair.

Your father, your king, grinned widely at the propositions made my these men, happy at the prospect of one of them taking your hand, winning your heart. Happy at the prospect of selling you away. A fair trade he’d call it. A duty.

He’d never understand, you came to realize. He was the man who had chosen your mother, the same way these creatures of lust in front of you are now. Readily ridding the world of her happiness and songs, harshly forcing her into a life of servitude, solitude, for the sake of duty.

“None of them would get it”

You’d say to yourself silently as you excused yourself to the washroom, wiping your disgraced palm clean of the suitors that you had been dancing with’s sweat, your nose scrunched in disgust. In the washroom you would stand, hands now pressed to the too warm mirror in that stuffy room, staring at your reflection. Your reflection stared back at you tauntingly, the flushed cheeks and too perfect hair, until your eyes got caught on the thin band gracing your head. The piece of metal that used to be the only thing tying you to your mother’s lineage, now was only an unwelcome reminder of your duties lined up in the other room, waiting for your hand in marriage. You sighed harshly, ripping the despicable band of silver off of your head, ruining the perfect waves your hair was lying in before. You laughed too hard, running your hands harshly over the layers of paint adorning your face. Your breaths became ragged as you tore the cloth sigil from the bodice of your dress, the only thing left showing your status in this deplorable kingdom and soon you realized, the only thing holding you back.

You stared at your own reflection, a haggard appearance of a forgotten princess staring back at you, and you smiled. Quickly, you rushed to the door, checking for footsteps, before finding your way to the nearest maids chambers. Stepping inside you grabbed a few essentials and a cloak as black as the night’s sky. Once you felt satisfied in what you had taken, you steeled your nerves before quickly and cautiously making your way to the stables, now abandoned with everyone attending the event.

Your eyes scanned the area quickly before settling on a horse with hair as white as snow and eyes the color of indigo. Your form slowed, your breaths coming out in soft pants as you made your way towards the creature in awe of its beauty. You reached your hand out slowly, to gain the trust of the majestic beauty. Suddenly and strikingly you heard a voice sounding from behind you.

“My lady! Where do you think you’re going?” A rough, calloused hand gripped your shoulder tightly, startling you. You turned around quickly, your arms raising defensively. As the offending party grabbed your wrists to gain your attention your excitement died down and your breaths came out easier when you took in the features of Changbin, your personal first knight assigned to you. Your expression became one of relief as you took in the worried, curious look resting on his angular features in the low light of the stables.

“I’m leaving, Changbin. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I can’t go through with this. Please don’t try to stop me..” You said gripping his hands in yours, staring into his eyes hoping to portray the feelings pooling in the base of your throat, causing your words to come out choked. “I’ve already made up my mind.”

“I’m sure I couldn’t change your mind if I wanted to, princess. Here, take this.” He said, smiling softly. A gentle sigh left his lips as one hand reached into one of the many holsters on his person, while the other drifted to comfortingly rest on the crown of your head. His large, rough hands pressed a small holstered knife into your palm. “It’s a blade your mother used to use. I was supposed to give it to you tonight at the ball, but this felt like the right time.”

For the first time that night you smiled genuinely, staring into his eyes softly in thanks while turning to prepare the horse for your disappearance. Changbin’s hands found your waist, hoisting you up and onto the back of the horse before he quietly led you out of the stables, checking for prying eyes and quietly uttering you a safe trip. You made simple promises to return safely to him, unsure of how much truth they held, but sure of the comfort filling your chest with the smile gracing his face.

With that, you turned your head to the dark forest ahead and took a deep breath to steady yourself before going on this possibly dangerous adventure. Then, like lightning striking your nervous system, you heard a voice you had hoped to never hear again.

“Y/n!” Your father’s voice rang out over the courtyard causing you to gasp and whip your head in the direction of the sound. Changbin’s worried eyes stayed trained on your face as your indecision bubbled in your chest at your father’s commanding tone. Quickly muttering some words Changbin sent the horse off running in the direction of the forest, your confused mind allowing the actions to happen wordlessly as you watched Changbin draw his sword against his own king to protect you and allow you the freedom you had longed for. 

---------

It had been moments, maybe hours, you were unsure. The sky bared no stars as you stared hopelessly heaven bound with your eyes blurred. The chilly air hurt your cheeks now dry from the rivers of tears at your actions. Your steed came to a slow, wearily looking around the dangerous wood. All that was to be heard around you were the low grumbles of the predators and the soft snapping of twigs. In the haze of your misery you were lost and cold, unsure of even your own safety as you whipped your head uneasily in every direction of unknown noises. 

It was then that a loud howl sounded from somewhere nearby, a chorus of others following suit. You tried catching sight of the beasts making the horrid sound, but soon it seemed as though the guttural growls were surrounding you, closing in on their next meal. You yelped loudly as the horse became unsteady and afraid, dashing off towards the nearest escape. From your lips feeble shrieks of protest left, but to no avail. The creature’s of the hunt followed suit, a game of cat and mouse. Suddenly, one creature, the largest, leaped out from beyond a too dark clearing in front of your path, baring its fangs and lashing out with its dastardly claws. The horse came to an unsteady halt, rearing back and knocking your frail form harshly to the ground. You inhaled sharply, rolling away, your limbs tucked inward, as fast as possible from the now trampling hooves and paws. You held your breath, covering yourself with your arms and you cried. Tears poured down your face as you waited for the steps of the animals to recede. You heard their noises of primal instinct and found yourself counting the minutes down until they were long gone and satisfied with their hunt. 

When your arms went numb and the tip of your nose was sufficiently frozen, you turned over in the dirt, wet with dew, to stare at the empty sky. Your tears came until they could no longer, your breaths uneven with bitter air exhaling harshly from your lungs, and as your eyes stayed trained upwards, you allowed yourself one prayer to any god that would listen. 

Please. Just let me see one star. One being from above that would understand. 

Abruptly you were taken aback by an unusually chilling wind blowing through the branches of the tall oak trees, causing you to wrap your arms tightly against your grimy, shivering self. Slowly you allowed the exhaustion of the night to take over your features, your eyes closing allowing sleep to take over your dirt ridden form. Finally, you felt some semblance of peace come over you as you drifted off, a prayer still sitting heavy on your pale, chapped lips. 

“You’re one weird human.” Your ears suddenly perked as a deep voice suddenly sounded from somewhere nearby. You screamed, scurrying to cover yourself with some kind of protection. Your eyes scanned the surrounding area frantically searching for the source of the voice. 

“W-who’s there?” You said with as little confidence as you could muster. You cursed your voice for shaking silently as you continued your frantic search for this possible danger. Your eyes landed on a large branch nearby and your legs moved on their own accord, sliding you harshly against the hard, cold ground to scramble to grip the branch tightly, turning and holding it out in a manner you could only hoped looked more threatening than it felt. 

“So silly..” The deep voice chuckled out from somewhere behind you. You yelped, waving the stick in the opposite direction, hoping not to lose your footing against any loose rocks or sturdy tree roots. Your dress was torn and soaked and the gentle breeze now moving in random intervals was jarring and dancing around your cloaked form, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. A sudden snapping sound from a branch above your head caused you to scream, throwing the large branch with all of your feeble might towards the offending sound. A larger breeze blew by, obscuring your vision with your own hair and you scrambled to remove it from your vision. As your finally were able to get a glimpse of a male slinking towards you another breeze blew harshly by causing your to sigh sharply, your hands flying back up to your face to remove the hair blocking your vision yet again. “Your gonna hurt someone throwing those things.” The voice sounded again, humor twinkling off of his lips with smooth curls of laughter. 

“Who are you? What do you want with me??” You said, your feet backpedaling as you finally removed your hair from your face again to take in the sight before you. Your eyes scanned the clearing of trees in the dim light unable to find the man you had been questioning and just as you began to question what was even real, you heard him again, your head whipping in the direction of the sound. 

“I should be asking you that, considering you called for me..” He said, the humor never leaving his tone. You began to feel embarrassed at the thought of this man laughing at your pitiful state. Your cheeks grew red and your ears felt hot as you began wondering why you didn’t feel as in danger as you had earlier that night, deciding to deem it all on how wild the rest of your night had already been. Instead of answering you simply furrowed your brow, scanning and searching with your eyes still trying to find the source of the inquiry. Out of the blue in the still night, yet another breeze blew by roughly, chilling you to the bone. A branch suddenly creaked above you and you scrambled back to get a view of what could be perched there.

“Looking for me?” What you found, illuminated by the dim white moonlight, was a boy, seemingly about your age, swinging his legs softly to the gentle sway of the winds. His hair was strikingly white, pure as snow. His pale skin shone softly as if covered gingerly in new born stars. His eyes held mirth, much like his cheshire smile, and his whole body was lax with amusement as he stared down at you. In shock you stumbled backwards, falling over yourself and landing harshly on the ground, yet again tonight staring up at the sky. You felt the wind tousle your hair, but you didn’t seem to have the energy to care much as your mind grappled with its own questioning thoughts. 

“Uhm..lady? Are..haha..are you okay?” His question, broken with impish laughter, felt comforting in a way as he leaned over your form, searching your face with curious eyes and a interrogative furrowed brow. You turned your head softly, staring into the now shocked eyes of the boy with the angular features and moon like eyes before suddenly your lips twitched, the corners of them quirking before a laugh began to bubble out of your chest. The laugh itself with incredulous and loud, joyous like a little kid finally discovering how something works. The boy looked back at you, tilting his head like a confused puppy as he watched you sit up slightly, leaning on your elbows. He didn’t make a move to back up or give you any space, instead leaning closer to examine you further. 

“Did you hit your head or something, funny lady?” He said, his deep voice and boy-like expression of wonder and frustrating confusion only spurring your laughter on further as you grappled for breath. The events of tonight were catching up with your exhausted state and you found yourself wondering if this boy who shone so brightly on this gloomy night was even real. 

Once you could finally catch your breath you sat upright and really took in the sight of him. He may have seemed young on the outside, but somehow he held a powerful aura, like he knew more then he let on. His smile was dazzling as he stared up at you with eyes that twinkled with a silent knowledge. You felt as though he was looking past your filthy outward appearance, and instead he was reading through your soul, listening silently to the story you couldn’t find the words to tell. 

He stood suddenly, as if he found the answer to the question that had been dancing around like the winds, curling through each of your minds. His smile became softer and more genuine as he looked down at your still seated self and slowly outstretched his hand. It was a gesture you were unfamiliar with. It wasn’t a sudden, demanding grasp of your non-consenting hand. It wasn’t rough and calloused, with a predator-like grin gracing his features, but, instead, as you slid your hand over his palm in a silent proclamation of trust you found yourself reveling in how silky smooth his larger, more slender hand felt wrapping around yours in a protective gesture. He glanced at you, a playful smirk playing on his cherry red lips. 

“Do you trust me?” He said, his deep voice breathy and patient, allowing you whatever amount of time you felt like you needed before you nodded slowly, hesitantly. He tilted his head in a munificent gesture, encouraging you to verbalize your thoughts. You felt the minuscule inkling of a curl to your lips forming, your eyes catching on how he seemed to be emitting light in this dim forest. The wind blew softly, ruffling your hair and caressing your now heated cheeks. He watched your features carefully as you bowed your head and giggled to yourself at the sensation of the winds dancing around the both of you. The chilly night felt warm as you turned your head slowly and methodically towards him again, your eyes glistening with an unreadable emotion and you breathed in deeply in a more relaxed manner. 

“I do.” You said, beaming up at him now, your small, frail hand squeezing his a little tighter. He smiled fully now and to you it felt like sunshine. He watched your face, entranced in your beauty taking not of how grateful he was to have answered your call tonight, vowing to bring that smile back whenever he could. Your expression grew concerned as the look in his eye changed and he suddenly pulled you towards him, wrapping one arm around your shoulders before taking off in a sprint. 

You tried to match his pace with a yelp, the wind now pushing you around forcefully. Your cries of protest were drowned out with his hysterical giggling. He forced you forward for a few more minutes as you began to question his strange motives before suddenly he came to a stop. His landing was much more graceful then your sudden stumbling forward, but as you gained your footing your objections died in your throat as you took in the sights around you. The forest behind you now, you stood in a clearing with grasses tickling your ankles, but the most impressive thing about this sight was the flowers. In full bloom, covering the surrounding area as far as your eyes could see were twinkling white flowers. Some stayed small and subdued, while others were larger, demanding more attention, but all of them shown with outstanding luminescence. Your breath caught in your throat as you stood completely rigid, taking in the sight. 

You then felt a soft breeze, pulling your out of your shock with a shiver before you felt an unexpected heat radiating from behind you. You felt a soft hand trace your jaw from somewhere behind as you held your breath expectantly. His hand moved from your jaw to trace the outline of your neck, gathering your hair lying there and tying it tenderly away from your face. Your sudden inhale as his fingers tickled the nape of your neck caused him to chuckle, his close proximity allowing you to feel his warm breath fanning over your shoulders. You suddenly felt balmy as he leaned his face closer, his breaths coming out in an intoxicating manner, dancing around the area where your neck meets your shoulder. 

“Look up.” He said, his voice coming out in a heady whisper. You gasped as you complied, your head whipping up too quickly, causing the male to snicker behind you. You couldn’t seem to care as you took in the sight before you. The once empty sky was now covered in brilliant gleaming stars, all feeling as though they were staring right at the two of you, encouragingly. You weren’t sure what they were encouraging, but just the silly thought itself had you laughing softly, your eyes slowly trailing over everything in front of you yet again. If it weren’t for the questioning hum the man had released you may not have even noticed the sturdy arms wrapped loosely around your waist or the cool skin of his cheek now resting on your exposed shoulder. You may not have even taken note of the breath now fanning comfortingly over your own blushing cheek of the look in his eyes as you turned slightly in his arms to get a better view of this new expression. 

He took in your overwhelmed face as you tried to form words for the thoughts racing through your mind and he laughed, his head tilted back and chuckles racking his toned chest. You took in the movement behind his green tunic, complimenting his pale skin and you blushed again, turning your face away sharply. He gripped your shoulder with one hand softly, making sure not to startle you, while his other hand outstretched softly to point towards the cushiony grass beside of you. You took the hint and made a move to sit and take in the view before you.

He giggled as he helped move the layers of your dress away so you could sit comfortably before taking his seat beside you. You found yourself becoming encumbered with exhaustion and slowly with the gentle breeze swaying the twinkling lights, you let your head pull to the side to rest easily on his shoulder. He moved slowly as to not jostle you allowing more comfort for your tired form.

“You know, lady. I never caught your name..” He said, a hint of gentle humor lacing his deep baritone.

“I’m sorry..” You hummed out, “I’m y/n. Supposed princess of this kingdom.” You said, your tone sounding harsh even to your own ears. “I’m not sure I’d like to even ask who you are.” You said, laughing to help lighten the mood.

“Hmm.. I don’t think I was ever given a name where I am from.” Your brow furrowed at his response as you moved your head from its resting perch to look up at his questioningly. He laughed again, his body folding as he chuckled at your expression. “A story for another time, y/n.” You accepted his response begrudgingly, distracted by the way your name sounded on his lips.

“So what are you going to do when morning comes, little one?” He said, no malice in his tone. You sighed harshly flopping backwards to lay in the soft grass fully, surrounding yourself in the perfumed scent of the fluttering flowers. He took that as an answer in itself as he watched you, amused.

“You need to go back.” You groaned loudly as these words left his lips and he laughed as he shushed you, pushing you softly causing you to dramatically roll over laying your head on his thigh, a noise of protest leaving your bemused lips. “Let me finish would you!” He continued, annoyance playfully covering the syllables while he ran his fingers gently through your messy hair. You smiled, appeased for a moment while staring longingly towards the stars above. The sky was lightening and you felt your smile slipping at the realization that they would be gone again soon.

He frowned watching your face grow frantic with concern before softly resting his cools fingertips on the bottom of your chin, non-forcefully turning your face in his lap to look at his own passionate expression. He tilted his head to match the angle of your, his silliness making you giggle softly before continuing.

“You may have to go back, but you can always come back here, it’s all for you.” He let his eyes slowly trail over you, landing on your hand twisting anxiously tearing up small strands of the grass without realizing. He slid one of his hands comfortingly down your arm, trailing his fingertips lightly over the back of your hands. It felt as if getting a sunburn, getting too close to the beauty of something terrifying. “Look to the stars, I’ll always be there, watching and waiting.” He finished, his voice getting deeper with each second he stared at your animated expression staring up at him expectantly.

You felt your eyes welling up with tears at the peace being here brought to you, knowing it would be ending soon. You tried forming words, prayers, but your lips were too wobbly and my voice was too weak.

“When will I see you again? Wh-what should I even call you??” You finally managed to squeak out, the thick, hot tears you felt curling down your cheeks didn’t sting nearly as much as the thought of leaving him here, only to return to the torturous duties lined up for you at your home. He smiled sadly at you, blurring your senses with how ethereal he looked. His hands twitched against your wrist as he continued his comforting path, avoiding your eyes as he furrowed his brow in thought. Without thinking, out of desperation for an answer, you swiftly intertwined your own fingers with his, your palms slotting together as if fitting missing puzzle pieces together.

“You’ll see me when you need me.. but I’ll always be there.” You pursed your lips in a pout and he smiled again, taking his hand once tangled in your hair and running it slowly, methodically over your furrowed brow, smoothing the skin there and allowing your features to find solace again. “and why don’t you give me a name that you like, y/n.” He offered, his voice softer than you had heard it before, no amusement, only timid hope.

A name. Something so uniquely human. Something lovingly crafted for an individual. Something that holds meaning and myth. Something totally your own. You frowned in thought for a moment and he watched as your eyes glazed over patiently. Suddenly, you sat up rigidly, turning to face him, leaning closer then you had ever been previously. The sudden movement startled him, causing him to laugh awkwardly, his eyes blown wide while staring at your expectant and excited face.

“I’ve got it! I’m going to call you Felix!” You exclaimed. He furrowed his brow, tilting his head and repeating the syllables slowly, testing the way they tasted on his lips. Then he smiled at you teasingly, taking your breath away briefly. You rushed to find some way to explain yourself before the heat fighting it’s way up your neck found your cheeks. You stared into his eyes determined before explaining. “It means happiness. I found happiness tonight, here with you, when I couldn’t back there. They may not ever make me happy, but I have you. My happiness. My Felix.” You finished, grinning widely, appeased.

His grin couldn’t be contained as he laughed softly at how cute you could be. As he let his grin take over his features he let his eyes drift over your close proximity. His fingers began to unfold from between yours, drifting their way up your wrist, feeling your rushing heart beat. They slowly danced over your shoulder making you shiver slightly, as he noticed his teeth took purchase in his bottom lip, the movement catching your eye. His fingertips barely tickled the skin of your neck, causing goosebumps to break out over your skin. Once his hand pushed your hair back, tucking it behind your ear you could hear your own breathing, practically panting at his gentle actions. The longing in your eyes causing his eyes to become hooded with a guarded emotion.

Slowly, his hand found its place on your cheek, his cool palm was in great contrast to your too warm skin. You reveled in the feeling, yearning to remember the way this solace felt in this moment. He smiled softly, a flash of teeth all you could see before he was leaning in tenderly. He allowed you to make the moves on your own as well, only continuing forward when you would and only you were both nearly touching, so close you were breathing the same air, he allowed himself a glance at your pink lips. His tongue darted out to wet his own lips before he pulled back slightly a serious expression on his face.

“Can I?” His voice came out breathy, heavy with something you couldn’t name. You smiled softly, pleased with his ability to ask, always thinking of your feelings first. You couldn’t even resist long enough to answer before you were wrapping some of your fingers around his larger wrist, tangling the others in his too pretty hair, pulling his face towards yours and connecting your lips together passionately.

This kiss was unlike anything you had ever heard of, instead of sparks and passion it was butterflies and subtle hints of laughter you could feel bubbling in your chest. The kiss was lingering and slightly bittersweet. You could taste the saltiness on your lips from your tears mixing with the sweetness of his lips on yours. It was perfectly melancholy and grossly beautiful. Tragedy in the form of serendipity.

As you parted Felix’s hands soothed your cheeks and wiped your tears, a smile playing jokingly on his lips. He poked your nose and leaned forward to kiss your forehead lovingly. You smiled through the onslaught of tears and gasped at the dawning sky above you now. Your eyes frantically searched for stars you knew you wouldn’t be able to see anymore, until they fell on Felix’s sad expression. He tried to smile softly for your sake as he stroked your cheek gently.

He then removed himself from you, before standing and helping you up as well. Once you were both standing, staring at each other with eyes full of unspoken words he breathed in deeply before leaning in to plant another swift, stolen kiss on your lips. You smiled as he pulled away, staring at the way his handsome features curled in amusement at your shocked form. He then, without your noticing, had moved his hand to the back of your head and with a soft mutter of words he knew you wouldn’t understand, you were suddenly unconscious in his arms. He lifted you, bridal style, and began walking back towards the forest where you had first met.

——

Once you all were back to the castle, a gentle breeze swaying the curtains, he laid you tenderly on your bed, smoothing your hair out around you and covering you with your own cushion-like blankets.

“Forgive me, princess. I usually would have asked.” He laughed quietly as you stirred in your sleep, as stubborn as you would have been awake. “I won’t be here when you awaken, but I’ll be back for you. You never have to be alone.” He slowly leaned forward, delicately placing a feathery light kiss on your lips. He made his way back to the window, tiptoeing as to not wake you, before turning to get one final glance at you.

“I’ll stay for you, y/n. Always.” He said, the ghost of a smile gracing his lips as a singular tear, the color of moonlight fell from his eye before all that was left in the room was a lonely princess and a gentle, light air dancing through the window like laughter and stolen kisses on a night only two will remember.

——————

[headheartbellarke]

Speak Now | WILLEX

dear @calamitykaty​ - happy valentine’s day! i’m your secret valentine, and i hope you have a brilliant, lovely day!! i just wanted to say that i absolutely adore your fics hehe :3 this one is for you, i hope u like it, you wonderful human!!

& a million thanks & kudos to @screwunsaidemily​​ / @jatpsecretvalentine​ for organizing this!! happy valentine’s day, raegan! and i hope today is as amazing as you are!!

✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

PAIRING(s): Alex Mercer x Willie, Flynn x Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina x Luke Patterson, past!Alex Mercer x Luke Patterson

WARNING(s): nothing haha just some fluff and we stan bobby in this house.. oh and some language

WORDS: 3.85k

SUMMARY: With his boyfriend marrying Carrie Wilson (well, in his defence, that’s his grandmother’s ‘dying wish’), Willie fancies himself to be the main character of a Shakespearean tragedy. Based on Speak Now by Taylor Swift.

KEEP READING BELOW OR READ ON AO3

     Willie exhales, watching his breath crystallize into tiny ice particles. He extends a hand to catch them, but that action causes the little cloud to dissipate.

  He rolls his eyes. Who has their wedding in Canada, in winter? Plus, not just on any day, but on Valentine’s Day.

  He fancies that he might as well be the main character of a Shakespearean tragedy. Watching your boyfriend get married is painful enough, but to a girl? That shit makes you feel as if your heart has a screw lodged in it. He feels as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

  Willie likes to say that he hates Alex (i.e., the said boyfriend, the love, the light, the star of his life) – but that sentence leaves behind a bitter taste in his mouth, like he’s just had that weird cough syrup that his mother buys.

  Alex’s friends can definitely see through his act, like, right now.

  “Willie, relax! Everything’s gonna be alright!” Julie Molina, Alex’s bandmate, ‘unbiological sister’, and ‘best gossip partner’ exclaims. She is crouching beside him.

  “Julie, I’m not the type of guy to crash a wedding and sabotage it, especially one hosted by those…” His hand moves in circular motions, pointing to the direction of the church, where Alex’s parents are probably seated. 

  Luke Patterson, Julie’s boyfriend and Alex’s ex-boyfriend, and current best friend and bandmate pipes in. “Homophobic, racist mingers?”

  Willie grins. “Don’t know what that means but sounds accurate!”

  “You know, we are saving Alex’s life, right? Literally?” Bobby Wilson chimes in, Alex’s other best friend from his position behind them. They are currently hiding behind a table laden with sweets of all kinds, and it makes Reggie, the last of Alex’s best friend-cum-bandmates’ mouth water. 

  “I still can’t believe that his parents are forcing him to marry a girl!” Julie exclaims, ponytail bobbing as she speaks. Luke adds, “Not just any girl, but Carrie fucking Wilson.” 

  “My fucking cousin!” Bobby says, looking behind to check if anyone’s there. There is, but they’re all either part of the caterer’s group, or the waiters – they are currently outside a church, where the reception will be held, post wedding. The attendees, the families, everyone – are inside the church, for the wedding.

  “Hey, is Grandma Ruth really that sick?” Reggie finally asks, his eyes diverting from the sweets. Luke smiles sweetly at him. “I’m glad you finally decided to join us, Reginald.” 

  Reggie fails to catch the sarcasm in his tone, and he smiles brightly. Luke rolls his eyes, but a faint smile teases the corners of his lips. “Yeah, she really has stage four cancer.” 

  Julie says, “Poor Ruth.” 

  Luke huffs, “I don’t care that she’s dying – she shouldn’t fucking blackmail her grandson like that! Alex, honey, I’m dying. My dying wish, you ask? Marry someone. No, not your boyfriend of four years! Marry a girl, dummy. Homosexuality is a sin!” 

  Bobby adds, “Not just any girl, but your best friend’s cousin! Whose probably into Flynn, but, yeah, whatever.” 

  Julie smiles brightly at the mention of her best friend. “Oh, she definitely is.” 

  Reggie’s brows quirk. “I thought she was still into Nick.” 

  Bobby shakes his head. “They broke up last summer.” 

  Willie clears his throat, finally gaining some confidence. “He shouldn’t be marrying the wrong girl.” He exhales, and adds, as an afterthought, “Or any girl.” 

  “You two should be walking down the aisle, Willie.” Julie says, resting a hand on his shoulder. He nods, grateful for her support. 

  He remembers this morning, when he was at the grocery store, buying as many buckets of chocolate ice cream as he could fit in his arms. Suddenly, he had felt a warm hand wrap around the back of his throat, and he let out a yelp, dropping all the buckets. 

  He remembers thinking that the universe was against him. First, it’s the day of his boyfriend’s wedding, and along with that, someone’s here to kill him. Well, he thought, it’s better to die than – 

  “Willie!” A familiar voice exclaimed, and of course, it’s Julie – he realized that the hand that he thought was here to murder him, belonged to her. She was dressed in a long, pink, A-Line dress, that complimented her skin tone perfectly and – suddenly, Willie understood that it was a bridesmaid’s dress. Yep, she’s Carrie’s bridesmaid, along with Flynn. 

  Willie wondered if she was here to rub salt on his wound. 

  “What do you want?” He had mumbled, averting his gaze from her dress. Sure, it’s a pretty dress, but it reminds him of Alex, because he has a hoodie that he adores in the same colour. (It’s in Willie’s closet now, and he makes a mental note to burn it.) 

  “We have a plan.” She said, conspiratorially. 

  Willie sighed, leaning down to pick up the fallen containers of ice cream. “I’m not in the mood, Jules.” 

  She grinned, evilly. Or as evilly as you could while having an angelic face. 

  Sure, it took her a while to convince him to crash his boyfriend’s wedding, but on the way here, he felt as if it was worth it. Julie helped sneak him in, since he doesn’t have an invite – and he found the rest of Alex’s friends – Luke, Reggie, and Bobby waiting for him. 

  Now, as Carrie’s family emerges from the church doors, he doesn’t feel that way anymore. 

  “God, I think I’m gonna throw up just by looking at them.” Luke murmurs, while Julie slaps his shoulder. “Don’t say that, they look very… colourful.” 

  Bobby snorts. 

  Carrie’s family includes her parents, two of her cousin sisters and an aunt – and they are all dressed in pastel yellow. To be really honest, that colour looks like vomit. They stand in a circle in front of the church doors, and Willie notices her aunt rolling her eyes at the waiters. He sighs. This is the same aunt who told Carrie that ‘oh, honey, it’s just a phase’, when she came out as bisexual. 

  “Guys, guys, guys!” 

  Willie sees his cousin, Flynn, running in their direction, and stopping at their table. She huffs, catching her breath and he notices that she’s wearing the same dress that Julie is. 

  “Carrie is losing her shit, dude.” She says, once she’s breathing normally again. “Why?” Julie asks, concerned. 

  “Probably because she doesn’t wanna marry Alex? I don’t know, but she yelled at me for eating!” She exclaims, an annoyed expression taking over her face. 

  Willie and Bobby exchange a look – they all know that Carrie can get a little intense sometimes – she doesn’t mean harm, but on a day like this, you can’t really hold it against her. 

  “Where is she?” Julie asks, alarmed. 

  “She’s in the back. Her mom misplaced her veil, and its total chaos out there. Also, her gown looks like a fucking pastry.” 

  Everyone’s eyes widen, and Flynn sighs, looking away. “I hate everything.” 

  Willie knows that she’s feeling just the way he is. 

  Julie stands up. “Come on, let’s help her. And boys?” She points a finger in their direction. “Stick to the fucking plan.” 

  Everyone nods rapidly, and Reggie whispers, “Yes, mam.” 

  She kisses Luke, whispering something in his ear, and squeezes Willie’s shoulder, giving him a sympathetic look, before running off in the opposite direction with Flynn. 

  Watching Julie and Luke, Willie is suddenly overpowered by a memory, a memory that was gathering dust in his brain. He remembers a cold, dark winter morning in their – his and Alex’s – apartment. It was last year, and their first morning in that apartment, in their home. They were nineteen and couldn’t get enough of each other – even after three years of being together. Somehow, somewhere they felt as if an invisible string was pulling them closer and closer, until they merged into one. 

  He remembers Alex combing his fingers through Willie’s hair, and whispering, “Is it crazy if I say that this is everything that I’ve ever wanted in life?” 

  He had smiled, eyes filled to the brim with euphoria. “No, then that would mean that I’m crazy.” 

  “We’re both crazy.” 

  “Maybe.” He had pulled him closer, loving the way Alex buried his face in the crook of his neck. 

  “Willie?” Alex softly asked, drawing patterns on his bare skin. 

  “Hmm?” 

  “I want to wake up next to you every single day. Like, I don’t ever wanna be without you,” 

  “Me, too.” He had said, then adding, “I don’t see myself marrying if not you.” 

  He could feel his boyfriend’s grin. “Not gonna lie, I’ve thought about it. A little.” 

  “A little?” 

  “Okay, I’ve planned it all out.” They both laughed, and Willie felt as if he was flying. 

  Alex continued, “I imagine us getting married on a beautiful summer day – on the beach. Where we met all those years ago. Remember?” 

  Willie smiled. “How could I forget? I will love Flynn forever for bringing me to Julie’s sweet sixteen – I never thought that I’d meet my soulmate that day.” 

  “Yeah. I imagine Luke to be my best man, and Flynn to be yours. Julie and Carrie would be our groomsmaids, yep, I invented that – and Reggie and Bobby could be the other best men. It’s a little messy, because I love them all so much and I can’t choose – but yeah.” 

  “Funny that your ex-boyfriend will be your best man at our wedding.” 

  “Shut up, Willie.” 

  “Carlos could be the ring bearer.” 

  “I think he’s a little too old for that.” 

  “Well, you have a point. But he’s gonna be pissed if he doesn’t get a title like his sister does.” 

  “All right, he’ll be the ring bearer.” 

  “We could have a skateboard shaped cake.” 

  “We will… think about it.” 

  “And we won’t need a band!” 

  “I’m not playing at my own wedding!” 

  “Well, Bobby could take your place. I’m sure he won’t mind taking a day off his solo touring.” 

  “Yeah, that sounds nice.” 

  As they went over every possibility, every dream, the world melted away and all Willie could see were the oceans in Alex’s eyes. 

  Luke’s voice dissipates the haze of nostalgia around Willie’s brain. “Yep, Carrie’s family went inside.” 

  Bobby nods. “Okay, Willie, you stay with Reggie and Luke – I’ll go inside first and distract everyone, and y’all will come at my signal.” With that, he runs towards the church. 

  “Uh… what is his signal…” Willie trails off. Luke and Reggie exchange a panicked look, as Reggie says, “I’m sure we’ll figure it out! Besides – oh my god, are those flamingos?” 

  Willie and Luke’s eyes dart to the church door, where a bunch of flamingos – Carrie’s favorite bird, apparently – are on the loose and the waiters and the staff are running around trying to catch them. 

  “Boys, I think that’s our signal.” Luke says, grabbing their hands and dragging them towards the back of the church, where the girls had previously disappeared into. 

  Luke sneezes, and Willie absentmindedly whispers a ‘bless you.’ He shifts, saying, “There’s so much dirt here! It’s like nobody cares about my allergies!” 

  “I’m sure nobody in Canada will ever care about your allergies, Patterson.” Flynn hisses.

  The trio are currently hiding behind a curtain, the lilac shades sickening them. “Well, you wouldn’t be in this position if Alex’s lovely bride-to-be didn’t uninvite me!” Willie exclaims, looking around to make sure nobody is nearby. 

  “I’m sure she has a very good reason!” Flynn says, and Luke rolls his eyes, saying, “You’re saying that as if you don’t know Carrie. She’s hyper fixating on this wedding to distract herself from the fact that her parents will never accept her for who she is, from her fear about the fact that she’ll never get someone who sees and loves her for who she is and right now, she believes that this wedding would gain her parents’ favour, that somehow they’d be okay with her being bisexual if she’s married a man, a gay man at that, too – and now she’s doing everything in her power to make sure nothing gets fucked up.” 

  Willie and Flynn sharply look at Luke. 

  “Dude, that was deep.” He whispers. Flynn dabs the corner of her right eye. “You should be a therapist, bro.” 

  “I know, bro.” He grins. 

  Willie can’t stop a smile from breaking out on his face. He turns back to the scene in front of him, and his heart seizes because there’s Alex, dressed in a perfect tuxedo, with his hair perfectly done, with a perfect smile on his face, and Willie realizes that that is not the man he loves. 

  The man standing in front of him looks too pristine, too immaculate. It’s almost as if he is being strung up by invisible puppet strings, but his face doesn’t give away any of that – it’s absolutely blank, and Willie would have thought that the man in the front is not real if he hadn’t seen his eyes. His eyes, which houses cyclones, cyclones being fed by the apprehension, the fear, the anger, the sadness that he must be feeling inside. His eyes, that Willie loves to see first thing in the morning, showing off the parts of his soul that he is desperately trying to shield. 

  Willie wonders if he’ll see him standing behind the curtains. He probably won’t. Willie’s at the back of the room, and he’s at the front, waiting, waiting, waiting. For a moment, Willie wonders if Carrie is going to show up at all – because the wedding was supposed to start half an hour ago, and it doesn’t make sense why a person who has never been late in her entire life, would be late on her wedding day. 

  He doesn’t have to wonder long, though. The organ starts to play ‘Here Comes the Bride’, and honestly it sounds more like a death march. Willie is reminded, yet again, of another reason why this is not what Alex wants – he wants to play ‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift at his wedding. 

  Willie takes in a sharp breath when Carrie enters. She looks like a pageant queen – wearing a beautiful, white, classic dress. In one hand, she holds her dad’s arm, and in the other, there is a bouquet of daisies. 

  Flynn whispers. “I have to go. Boys, do not mess this up. Or I swear I’ll kill you.” 

  As the duo watch her run to the front of the room, Willie whispers, “Does she know about Carrie’s big, fat crush?” 

  Luke snorts. “You think so? Come on, let’s sit. They won’t be able to see us here.” 

  As they crouch down and make their way to the benches, Willie casts one last look at Alex, and he knows, he knows that Alex wishes it was Willie walking down the aisle instead.

     “Speak now, or forever hold your peace.” The preacher says, and Willie’s heart erupts into a frenzy. As the room goes completely silent, Luke whispers, “That’s your cue, Willie.” 

  Ignoring his anxiety, he stands up with his hands shaking, and his brain telling him to just fucking run out the doors. 

  Alex’s eyes widen, relief flooding his features, and for a moment, he looks like the real Alex again. Willie catches Julie and Flynn’s eyes, who are standing beside Carrie, and they nod at him, enthusiastically. But the bride, Carrie – she looks absolutely horrified. And so does all the other people in this room, including Alex’s parents, his grandma Ruth, and Carrie’s parents, too. 

  From Alex’s right side, Reggie and Bobby give him encouraging looks, and finally, he averts his eyes back to the man he loves. 

  But he can’t say anything. He feels as if he’s frozen in time, and his mind completely blanks out. For a moment he wonders if this is his rock bottom. 

  But Luke comes to the rescue, thrusting a guitar in his hands, and breaking him out of his trance. “I remember you told me that you can always sing, even if the world was ending. So, I brought this along, as backup.” 

  It’s true. Music is a part of his soul, much like it is Alex’s. Music is what connected them in the first place, and music is what still keeps them connected now. 

  He positions the guitar, and notices that it’s Luke’s acoustic guitar. He strums it, and finally, his mind comes back to himself. He keeps his eyes trained on that of Alex, and he watches the storm of emotions in his irises. 

  “I am not the kind of guy, who should be rudely barging in on a white veiled occasion…” He sings, loving how Taylor Swift has written a song for every occasion.

  “But you are not the kind of boy, who should be marrying the wrong girl!” He sings and hears loud gasps around the room – he knows that people expected him to be in love with Carrie or something. 

  “Or any girl!” Reggie adds, and Alex grins, and that gives him the motivation to continue. 

  “So, don't say yes, run away now. I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door… Don't wait or say a single vow – You need to hear me out, and they said speak now!” 

  He drags the ‘now’ for as long as he can, because he knows that the silence that will follow will be excruciating. And it is. Alex just stares at him, an unreadable expression on his face. 

  Willie finally looks at Carrie, and when their eyes meet, she gives him an odd look. He half expected her to kill him, but the way she looks at him, it’s almost as if she’s relieved. 

  Alex clears his throat, the sound piercing through the silence of the room. Whispers arise, and Willie exchanges a look with Luke, who asks him, “You want me to dig you a hole to die?” 

  Before he can nod, Alex says, “Uh…” He fiddles with his hands, before finally saying, “Fuck it”, and untying his tie. His mother gasps, and his father stands up, but he raises a hand. 

  He locks eyes with Willie, and his world spins on its axis. 

  “You are not the kind of guy to be rudely barging in on a white veiled occasion…But I am not the kind of boy… who should be marrying the wrong girl… or any girl!” Alex sings in that raspy voice of his, and Willie feels his heart soar. He can’t help the grin from escaping on his face, and he knows that his eyes are what Julie calls, ‘heart eyes.’ Luke grabs the guitar from Willie’s hand and starts playing along. 

  “And you'll say let's run away now, and I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door,” 

  Alex walks down the aisle, but suddenly remembers something, or rather, someone. He turns around, locking eyes with Carrie, and Willie can’t see what he’s saying, but Carrie smiles a big, soft one – one probably no one has ever seen on her face, and he sees her mouth ‘go.’ 

  “Baby, I didn't say my vows, so glad you were around; when they said speak now!” 

  He finishes, and stands in front of Willie, and Willie knows that the both of them can feel the air electrifying between them.   

  He turns, facing his grandmother. “Grandma, I’m sorry, but you’re 93, and I’m 20. I’m not going to give up my life for you to live. I love you, though. Mom, Dad, I’m truly sad that I’m not what you wanted. But I’m not gonna apologize for being myself, nor am I gonna apologize for loving who I want to. This is my life, and maybe it’s time that I start acting like it. I can’t keep wasting my life to please you. You – you should love me for who I am, that’s what good parents do.” Alex’s voice cracks, and Willie intertwines their fingers. Alex squeezes his hand. 

  Carrie’s mom stands up, shaking her head. “No, no, no… you do not get to ruin my daughter’s wedding –” 

  Alex’s father stands beside her, his face matching the shade of Carrie’s red lipstick. “I will not accept this –” 

  “Will?” Alex whispers, his eyes trained on his father. 

  “Yeah?” 

  “Run.” 

  With that, Alex tightens his hold on Willie’s hand, and the both of them run down the aisle, and outside. Willie can hear an uproar behind him, but it fades to background noise behind the thump of his heart. 

  “That was so fucking romantic!” Alex exclaims, as they come to a stop before Willie’s car. 

  “I just…” 

  “Wait – I’m sorry, Willie. I shouldn’t have put you through that. I should’ve fought more; I should’ve run away or something. That was not okay. I’m a twenty-year-old adult, and I should – I should – learn to be it, and not hurt any – anyone –” 

  “Hey, hey, hey…” Willie says, stepping closer to Alex. “It’s alright. They’re your parents. It’s not your fault that you want their approval. But I just want you to know that I love you, all of you, for who you are. And all of us do – Luke, Julie, Bobby, Reggie, Flynn, and even Carrie. We all love you, for who you are, and we’re always gonna be by your side.” 

  He smiles, cupping Willie’s face. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I – I love you so fucking much.” He kisses Willie, and the latter feels like he is floating amongst the stars. 

  “That – everything inside – from this tux to the decorations was horrible. I’m really glad that you… you know, stopped it.” Alex says, rubbing his thumb around Willie’s cheek. 

  He shrugs. “Well, it was your friends’ idea.” 

  “Of course it was.” 

  “Guys! Guys, guys, guys!” 

  Willie and Alex break out of their embrace at Carrie’s voice, who is currently running towards them, her dress bunched in her hands. Flynn is following her, holding her veil in her arms. Julie, Luke, Bobby, and Reggie are behind them, and they all have a look of panic plastered on their faces. 

  Flynn yells. “Carrie might’ve told your and her parents to fuck off, and your grandma to just die already, and so there’s a fair chance that we’re all gonna get killed, now that everyone knows that we’re all behind this.” 

  “Also, I threw red wine at our aunt’s dress, Carrie!” Bobby yells. 

  “I might have told your parents that they’re failures, and Julie and I are your real parents, Alex!” Luke yells. 

  “Also, Flynn and I are getting married!” Carrie yells. 

  Alex’s eyes widen, and he looks at Willie. “I think we all need to run.” 

  Willie nods, and he looks around. Maybe they will get killed (probably not), and maybe everything is a little crazy right now – but what he knows is that all of them are a family, and that he’d do anything for them. He also knows that Alex is worth everything, and that someday, they will get married, just the way they want, with the people that love them just the way they are. 

  Plus, is it weird to say that he kind of feels like Taylor Swift right now?

[lovelykei]

Heyo!! if its ok to ask, may i have kenma, yamaguchi, and iwa with a goofy chubby reader?? 🥺👉👈 ya girl is seekin validation through fictional men 😔👊 (also hi!! I just found ur blog and its really cool!! Thanks for makin me smile ✨🥺💗)

This is my first request and the way I screamed when I got it- thank you for liking my blog🥺🥺 we l o v e getting validation through our 2D boys 😤😤 I hope you like these 🥺🥺

Iwaizumi:

After a unnecessary long and annoying day you were not sitting in the gym watching Seijohs practice. To get your mind off of your day you started to watch their practice. Your eyes briefly wandered across the court, until you found what you were looking for. You truly didn’t mean to stare but when you have a 5 star full course meal right in front of your eyes, it honestly couldn’t be helped. Maybe you should’ve noticed how the first years had started getting the balls together, or how the net was being taken down. Maybe even the fact that those ridiculous muscles seemed to be moving closer. “Y/n- you’re staring”

“Your bicep is the size of my head” you muttered mindlessly and an arm wrapped around your shoulders. “I know right? I’ve been asking him to drop the workout routine” Oikawa whined from next to you as you both stood there looking at Iwa. “He’s keeping all that for himself? Pff couldn’t be me” you agreed with oikawa.

At this point Iwa lifted your chin up with his fingers so you were looking at him. “Maybe.. you could give me a kiss instead of undressing me with your eyes” he said and slapped Oikawas arm off your shoulder. Standing on your tiptoes you placed a peck on his lips before motioning towards the locker room. “Get dressed so we can go” He pecked the top of your head before hurrying away to get changed.

—

“Hey Haji...” you said as you were walking home. Anxiety was pulsing through your veins and you looked up at the sky. Iwa hummed next to you and swung your intertwined hands softly. “I really would like your workout routine,,, and maybe a diet plan?” You said carefully, still gazing up at the stars. As you kept walking a soft tug on your hand made you stop and look at Iwa. “Babe..you hate working out...not to mention the diet plan.. why are you asking for this?” Concerned green eyes met yours and you couldn’t look away. “Well it’s not like I care that much...but uhm.. today at lunch... yuki was talking about uhm..how her boyfriend would always give her piggyback rides and.. you know stuff..” you faced the ground and kicked at some rocks with your feet. “I don’t blame you or anything I’m pretty chubby I wouldn’t be able to carry myself either, but I thought that uhm..maybe I could do with eating a bit less and working out you know..” A chuckle was the last thing you expected to hear and you whipped your head up to look at your boyfriend. “You want to lose weight? So I’ll carry you?” Iwa said with a big grin stretched across his face. A pout formed on your face as you muttered “Well.. when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous but I guess that’s it yeah..” This times it wasn’t a chuckle..he was really laughing at you. Huffing you turned away from him, but you didn’t get to whine for a long time before Hajime had thrown you over his shoulder. “You’re not too heavy, you’re perfect just like this. Besides who’s the one always talking about my arms?” “Iwaizumi Hajime this is not romantic at all my head is supposed to be on your shoulder- not my ass” you whined and lightly hit his back. He laughed and put you down to pick you up bridal style. “Ohhh I love it when you wrap your big boy arms around me” he looked down at you with a grin and pecked your forehead. “That’s my baby. Now don’t go having silly thoughts about losing weight. If you gain more weight I’ll just gain more muscles so I’ll be able to carry you around.”

The sound of laughter echoed down the street as you walked under the bright stars.

Yamaguchi:

The soft sound of Tadashis heart beating had somehow managed to calm you down. Not only was school stressing you out but your own thoughts about your body too. Tadashi was running his fingers through your hair and giving you the occasional peck on top of your head.

“Dashi? You love me right?” Turning your head to face him as you waited for his answer. He cupped your cheek with his hand and softly brushed his thumb across your skin. “More than anything, I thought you knew that” he said with a small smile. He sounded so confident when he said it but the blush on his cheeks was exposing him. When you leaned up to place a peck on his lips you felt him shift under you. His hand grabbed one of your thighs and moved it so that you were straddling him. Adjusting to this new position you were careful not to put any of your weight on him as you carefully pecked each of his freckles. “I love you too” the sound of your voice against his cheek sent shivers down Yamaguchis spine and he placed his hands on your waist, tugging you down so that you would sit on him. This time however you didn’t let him, you didn’t want to place your weight on him so even as he tugged you down you didn’t budge. “Dashi I’ll break you if I sit on you give up” you sighed against his lips before pecking them again. You were gonna continue the soft kissing but Yamaguchi suddenly sat up, which by default made you fall to sit on his lap. With your legs on each side of him and your chest pressing firmly against yours chest he wrapped his arms tightly around you and laid down again. Since your arms were confined inside his embrace you couldn’t use them to hold yourself up. “Dashi- cmon you don-“ before you got to finish your sentence his lips had met with yours in a kiss that was filled with his pure love and affection towards you. “Don’t say stuff like that, you won’t break me by sitting on my lap. I’m not that weak y/n” “I didn’t mean to call you weak it’s more my fault if anything” you tried to argue back but he quickly shut you up with another kiss. “You’re perfect and you’ll always be perfect regardless of your weight or height or anything” his cheeks that would so quickly betray his confidence didn’t show the smallest hue of red. You had never seen him look more determined before, not even when it came to volleyball. Before you could stop it tears were welling up in your eyes. You really loved your green haired boyfriend, and he really loved you regardless of what anyone else said. Yamaguchi flipped you guys over and peppered kisses all over your face. “Whenever you insult yourself I’ll give you a kiss, to remind you you’re perfect” he said between kisses.

—

Yamaguchi heard the door to the gym open and he turned to face you. “Dashi I miss you” you pouted. Out of all the times you could’ve walked in you managed to walk in right on the break, which meant the whole team was now looking at you you guys. You smirked teasingly at your boyfriends blushing face. “Dashi this uniform makes me look fat” you whined and immediately your boyfriend was cutely stomping over. He leaned down to kiss you and you happily kissed him back. As soon as he pulled away you grinned up at him. “alright I got what I wanted, I’ll see you later Dashi” He looked at you confused and you didn’t even have to turn around to know he was blushing when the team started screaming.

Kenma:

To others it might seem weird to see someone having a staring competition with a bento box. To Kenma, this wasn’t weirdest thing you’d done. His cat like eyes followed your every moment as you slowly opened up the sad excuse of a bento box. There couldn’t have been enough food to feed a middle schooler in there. “Listen I know I’m a bit chubby...but there isn’t enough food in here to even feed a middle schooler.” You complained and leaned back on your chair. Kuroos laugh echoed in the empty classroom and the two of you fell into one of your usual bickering. Kenma paused his game to eat but he could only focus on you. Honestly Kenma didn’t want you to lose weight, he loved you just as you were. He loved the way your cheeks puffed out when you were eating,, and even when you weren’t. He loved your plum tummy that he could always lay his head on. He loved your thighs and your arms and the way they wrapped around him when you didn’t want to get up from the bed in the morning. Kenma couldn’t see why everyone kept pushing you to lose weight. As you kept bickering playfully with kuroo, Kenma laid his head down on your lap and tugged at one of your arms to get your attention. “You can eat my bento, but if you don’t start eating now the bell is gonna ring and lunch will be over.” The look on your face was that of a puppie who’s excited to go on a walk. The way your eyes were almost sparkling as you looked at Kenma, had the blood rushing to his cheeks. “I’ll start losing weight another day” you grinned happily as you opened Kenmas bento. “It’s not like you have to lose weight” he muttered and sat up to eat. “Hmm you’re right,, why should I lose weight if I don’t want to” picking some rice up on your chopsticks you turned to Kenma to feed him. He started eating and got some food up with his own chopsticks, this time to feed you. “I like you like this” he said as he fed you. Your head tilted slightly to the side in confusion “fat?” The corners of his mouth tugged upwards as he flicked your forehead. “Happy. I like you happy. Regardless of your weight, as long as you’re happy its fine.” Kenmas smile grew wider when he saw your puffy cheeks, those adorable puffy cheeks shine bright red in the empty classroom. After a moment of comfortable silence you spoke up. “Huh where’d rooster boy go?” Kenma shrugged and kept eating the food.

—

“Okay but what if I was the size of a beluga whale?” “You wouldn’t b-“ “bUt what if Kenma? Would you still love me?” From the second the door to Kenmas room had closed you had started asking him about different animals. 1 hour later and you were laying on his bed, Kenma playing games while you kept asking him questions. That’s when Kenma had enough. He lightly pushed your head down onto the pillow before grabbing the covers to wrap you both up. “Let’s take a nap” he sighed and cuddled up to you. “Kenma you have volley-“ you didn’t get to finish before he groaned and sat up slightly, leaning on his elbow. He leaned over towards you and kissed your lips quickly before laying down again.

“One. I would love you if you were as big as any animal in this whole planet so stop asking. Two I’m skipping practice today and three I love you the most when you’re quiet and take naps with me so..” he closed his eyes and waited for you to cuddle up to him. “Alright alright lets take a nap, I love you too” you said as you laid your head on his chest and got ready to probably sleep until the next day.

[jtrbluv]

shutterbug | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 4.1k

warnings: swearing, unbearable but relatable tiger parents

request: Jungkook,, one shot,, 38 + 40 please 😊😊 @asiivnc 

“you leave whenever you feel like it.” & “don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

A/N: sheesh, i have not posted in a hot minute! i’ve been trying to work on this single request throughout quarantine and it really only came down to these last few days where i literally had a spike of inspo and drive and well,, ideas LOL. i considered an alternate angstier ending but i am a self-indulgent mofo who doesn’t like to make myself cry even though i’m sure i cried while writing this at least once (maybe twice). there is so much jk content on my blog i wanna set aside more time to write for other members from now on until i’m satisfied! regardless, thank you @asiivnc for requesting this and sorry for the wait luv, hopefully this can make up for it !!

Jungkook was known to be heavily passionate and fully invested in whatever his life had revolved around at that moment. As a film/photography major, as well as a man that just had a strange knack for being naturally adept at whatever was thrown at him, he incessantly poured his utmost efforts into his works. You weren’t any different, as you held just as much significance in his life as the way his serotonin levels would skyrocket as soon as his fingertips touched his precious camera.

Not to be self-absorbed, but you always thought of yourself as his muse. Or befittingly for his sake, the subject of the photo that you would give the title ‘his lover’.

You were so indisputably sure that you loved the boy and even moreso that he felt the same. While being so accustomed to his own nurturing ways and devotion to you and the reciprocated energy on your part, the bone-crushing weight of college hindered all and didn’t give a single fuck about anyone or anything.

Carrying the begrudging burden of having to succeed because he didn’t take the traditional lawyer/doctor career route, was always at the forefront of his mind. Likewise, for fuck’s sake, he nearly got disowned by his own parents and it took him what seemed to be a lifetime’s worth of energy to convince him to just give him a chance. Jungkook was not planning on taking that chance for granted.

Jungkook, being the person he is, was excelling, and his name was beginning to become known in the community of photographers and videographers, and he was finally starting to feel at ease. His parents were even acknowledging his successes to the extent that they were helping him financially with school, which was a huge burden off of his shoulders. And then you suddenly crash-landed into his life and just made his life even more fulfilling and by all means, worth living in.  

He knew it was a bad idea. Distancing himself from you was the last thing he wanted to do. All his parents were concerned about was the fact that you were the only thing hindering him from making it “big”, when turns out, you became the sole inspiration and muse for most of his recent works. So they gave him an ultimatum to either be cut off financially or break up with you. He didn’t understand, because his parents liked you so much and they loved the influence you had on his work. He didn’t understand. He hated it—the fact that he was basically hanging by puppet strings and didn’t have a say in what he did considering the age he was in now.

He also hated the fact that he knew they had good intentions, and were only doing this because they wanted him to be successful. Their idea of true success for his career could only be seen as the financial benefits of being a director or producer rather than being able to just pursue and learn more about the art form that he loves. There was no use of trying to persuade them, so likewise, he did not. But why get her involved into this mess too?

Jungkook tended to stray away from confrontation and hated immediate and unexpected change as much as he acted like it didn’t phase him. He figured the sooner he can gain benefit from his passion, the less dreadful this dilemma would be. Less mess. Less stress. More time to be with you. That was the intended plan.

His next course of action was to score a film internship and potential job at the rather famous, Fox Studios. By doing so, would have to win the statewide film contest— a much larger scale than he had ever involved himself in. The mere thought of him having to showcase his own self-produced work to critically acclaimed film critics made the bile in his system threaten to upchuck onto the lemon-pledge scented floors of his dorm room. Then he remembered and was reminded— by the help of you of course, that he was Jeon Jungkook, and everyone knows that Jeon Jungkook does not like to lose.

-

He presumed that keeping up his grades would give him more credibility to getting the internship as well, so he put more focus onto his schoolwork. The remainder of his time was dedicated to exploring his potential ideas and storyboarding out his options and what would be most effective and most consequently— worthy of winning first place.

During this very strenuous time for the poor man, you would most likely see him trudging down the halls, hair in a complete disarray or simply hidden by the fabric of his hood, his eyelids threatening to close shut almost as if it’s taking all his willpower to keep them open, chugging down another red bull with one hand while he grips the strap of his backpack with practically no energy.

I mean you thought it was kinda cute at first, but his apparent deteriorating state mostly caused you to be more concerned than anything else.

In hopes to not hinder his creative flow but still keep his health at par, you would stop by every so often to give him food and give him reassurance—he never needed it so much until now.

Jungkook never told you about the irrational ultimatum his parents had given him. He came to the conclusion that it’d be unnecessary as long as he was able to carry out his plans. Nonetheless, the pressure of the whole situation was getting to him. The love of his life, passion for working with a camera, his parents’ disapproval, and just the own personal dream to be able to tell everyone that “Fuck you, I told you I could do it, and I did,” enveloped his whole mind these days.

Time had proved to not work in Jungkook’s favor. Two weeks passed in a mere blink of an eye leaving him with only two more weeks to finish his film in time for the film contest. This time around, he decided to choose a topic that resonated more with his own personal life. The film revolves around the struggle to be able to conform to the standards and expectations that society implements onto young people, whether it’d be from mainstream media or direct connections, like family. Typically, he stuck a title onto his projects after fully completing it, but for some reason, this time, it had worked in reverse. The title itself suddenly popped into his mind one day and from there he was able to garner ideas from it. And so the title was ‘Moulded’.

A very risky step on Jungkook’s part was what you initially thought when he first told you the idea. He knew that too, which is why he did it. You knew him long enough to be aware of the influence his parents had on his life and their outdated beliefs. You also knew the potential the boy’s zeal could take him, and because of that, all traces of worry left you shortly afterward.

-

Two days. The film contest was in two days. Jungkook was just about finished at this point, constantly playing back frames and adding final touches, rewatching the same parts over and over again until he became satisfied. He leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh, eyes finally averting from the screen of his desktop to the clock on his bedside table.

“Only 9:15?” he muses, realizing these past four weeks had completely fucked over his sense of time, “At least I’m down, color correcting can be such a bit—”

A small jolt reverberates through his desk, interrupting his verbally spoken train of thought. His eyes beeline back to his phone, the contact picture of his mom flashing on his screen. Why would she be calling me at this time?

His brows knit together as he picks up his phone and swipes his thumb across the screen in uncertainty.

“Um, hi mom?” he greets, with the obvious tone of confusion in his voice.

He can practically hear her scoff over the line, “Jungkook-ah, how’s the film coming along?”

“It’s almost done-”

“Are you still with that girl?” she forcibly asks out of nowhere, leaving him dumbfounded to the point his mouth was hanging open in return.

A few seconds pass by as he processes what’s going on. He tightens his grip on the phone at the mention of you as he confesses through gritted teeth, “Yes mom.”

“We had a deal didn’t we?”

He retorted without waver in his voice, “Mom, I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Then give it back. The tuition money,” she affirms without hesitation, “Jungkook, me and your father have done our part. It’s about time you do yours.”

“I’ve done practically everything you’ve asked. I’m doing just fine,” he monotonously states, trying so hard not to implode on his own mother at this point, “Y/N has nothing to do with this.”

There was a short pause, leaving Jungkook in the same state of dejection per usual when he had to talk to his parents, “We just want you to be successful,” her voice softens, using the same line that somehow magically guilt-trips Jungkook every time the words travel to his ears.

He shakes his head in disbelief over hearing the stupid line that seemed to control every aspect of his life, “You say that every time.”

“And we mean it every time,” she interjects, a sigh audibly present over the line, “this discussion is over.”

She ends the call as Jungkook lets out a raspy and guttural groan, slamming his phone onto his desk in frustration with such strength it’d be surprising if the cheap glass screen protector he’s had on it didn’t suffer any damage.

“Kook,” a voice utters softly from the other side of his door, “is everything okay?”

He flinches at the sound of your voice, considering you were just the subject of the conversation he just had with his mom that left him fuming with rage more than anything.

“Can you please leave Y/N, this isn’t a good time,” he objected, adjusting himself in his seat so he’d face away from the door. Even though you couldn’t see him you could still hear the small indication of irritation in his response.

It was more than apparent something was wrong with him, with only two days left until the film contest, you knew he couldn’t manage to keep his guard down, regardless of the stress and turmoil he’d been putting himself through for the past 4 weeks, “Just because you leave whenever you feel like it…” you enunciate, raising your voice loud enough for him to hear your intentions, “doesn’t mean I will.” Both of you knew the last 4 weeks had taken a toll on the relationship, it was only then that he realized how much he’d been putting it off.

The door began to emit tiny clicking noises as he slowly turned the doorknob. He slowly widens the area as he meekly steps to the side, letting you come in as you make your way toward his bed and plop down onto his sheets.

The tension had never been this thick between the two of you, to the extent where it felt absolutely suffocating and unbearable. You had never seen him in such a state of dejection as he simply sat there, hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt as he nibbled on his lower lip, eyes diverting away from yours at all costs. The knit between his brows that would usually derive from confusion or frustration, seemed entirely different this time around. It was as if his mind was full of nothing but everything all at the same time.

You heave out a deep sigh as you finally break the ice, “Jungkook,” you begin, looking up to see him looking back at you to your surprise, “you know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry for making it seem that way.”

“Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it,” he mutters only to see the flash of hurt in your eyes that makes him divert his gaze back to the floor, “I know I’ve been acting so selfish lately. I’d understand if you felt that way.”

“I hate seeing you like this you know,” you confess quietly, “I know there’s something up.”

His eyes meet yours once again, mouth slightly parted as if he was about to say something, but the silences ensues and he closes the gap once again, resorting back to nibbling the skin off of his bottom lip until it starts to bleed. Your eyes soften as you observe the boy once more. The span of your relationship had naturally led to the two of you being able to open up to one another so easily. You were both able to tell when the other was feeling a certain way and why. It just came with time and getting to know the other person more throughout the relationship. And alongside that was the ability to know when the other was purposely keeping something under wraps—this was one of those times.

“Jungkook”, you whisper just loud enough to catch his attention, which works as he gazes back up at you with all doe-eyed glory, the knit between his brows gone surprisingly out of sight for the first time since you came over. You glance at his bed—emphasizing the void of space next to you on his bed by patting the fabric and peering at the cryptic man, hoping he would get the sign to sit next to you.

Fortunately, he does. He places his hands on the armrests as he timidly pushes himself up from his chair. The chair produces an obnoxiously loud squeaking noise almost emulating the sound of your dog’s dog shaped squeaky toy (counterintuitive I know, but it was a gift from Jungkook himself, the prick). The sound causes you to involuntarily snort as you look away in hopes to hide the smile creeping onto your lips. Too bad you missed the smug grin on his face at your lackluster attempt.

He carefully approaches you as he warily lowers himself onto his bed, making sure he doesn’t make the same mistake twice. He shifts his body to turn towards you, propping his hands at his side. His eyes avoid yours once more, sparing glances at every inch of his own room as if he wasn’t already familiar with the enclosed space.

You pause and calculate your next move, eyes studying the boy’s body language. You outstretch your arm, gently grasping his wrist as you slide your fingers through his calloused palms and twine your fingers with his own, allowing your hands to rest on your knee. His eyes glaze over your connected hands, trailing back to finally meeting your own once again—they had this all too unfamiliar gloss to them, not the usual star-like specks you had been accustomed to looking at. As a few seconds had passed, you spotted the pool of tears starting to brim in the corner of his eyes. Taken aback, you retract your focus to his whole face and how his bottom lip started to tremble, hopeless. Hopelessness was what he was denoting, an emotion you had rarely if never seen coming from the man sitting in front of you.

Before you could formulate any words of comfort, he speaks up, voice brittle and wobbly, “Am I just a failure Y/N?”

“Wha— what? No, how could you ask that? Of course I don’t think you are,” you assert, unknowingly tightening the grip on his hand.

“It’s just,” he drawls out, pausing to think of a coherent way to voice his concerns, “maybe it just would’ve been easier if I complied with my parents in the first place y’know. I’ve been spending all my time and energy fighting it, maybe I’ve just been putting my energy into the wrong-”

“I don’t believe that,” you calmly interject, “I believe that whenever you put your energy into something, you have a reason behind it. You thought about it for a while, it obviously wasn’t something that just sprouted overnight,” you countered, staring off as your eyes land on his workspace, the flashing screen of his computer that reveal his last minute editing as well as the camera you seldom see the man without, “Working with a camera, creating art,” you say while clasping your free hand over the one that you were already holding, rubbing miscellaneous shapes into the back of his hand, “that is what you love to do.”

“I love a lot of things Y/N,” he simply states.

“Hm?” you let out under your breath as you notice the single tear that falls onto his cheek, contradictory to the straightforward tone of his voice you had just heard seconds before. Your body stiffened at the sight of the fallen drop.

“Did you hear me on the phone before you came?” he questions, swiping away the tears that threatened to fall with his free hand.

You take a moment to recollect the moments that preceded until knocking on his door, “No, I just heard a loud bang. It sounded like you broke something.”

“Oh, that was my phone,” he shyly admits while scratching the back of his ear, “there is something I need to tell you.”

You perk up at his sudden willingness to tell you what was wrong. Your body language conveys the signal for him to continue, and he does.

“I got a call from my mom before you came,” he starts, “she was checking up on me, knowing the deadline is coming soon and what not.”

You nod slowly in understanding, “I see, what did she say?”

“You have the right to know,” he mutters under his breath while diverting his gaze back to your interlocked hands. He intentionally grazes your other hand before taking it into his own before flashing you a small grin of reassurance, “The farther I’m advancing, my parents just constantly feel the need to strip me of everything else. You probably knew that already. You also know that I tend to just rebel and find a loophole out of things most of the time. I don’t know, lately, it just seems like they solely care about success and money these days more than my own happiness and wellbeing, and it’s been like that for so long. Anyways, I’ve been prolonging and putting it aside for awhile now, but they threatened to cut me off financially if I didn’t break up with you Y/N.”

A single tear slides down your cheek. You’re at a loss for words and coherent thought. The only thing you muster to say is whatever decidedly popped up into your head first, “W-why haven’t you then?”

The brimming tears began to fall more frequently for you as well as from the eyes of the man in front of you. He releases both of his hands and slides his calloused palms up to your forearms pulling you closer in proximity, “I said it before, I love a lot of things Y/N,” he gingerly reiterates as he swipes away the tears from your eyes with the pad of his thumb before trailing his fingers to your fallen strands of hair, tucking them behind your ear.

“I love my parents, I love working with a camera, but I undoubtedly also am in love with you,” he tenderly professes while sliding down his hand to the crook of your neck, “I know my parents never meant harm, but they have to realize I don’t either. I owe it to myself and I realize that I am capable of obtaining and having everything I want in life,” he wholeheartedly declares despite the tears that continue to run down his face, “ And it wouldn’t be everything I want if you weren’t here with me.”

He renders you speechless, tears streaming freely as he continues to wipe them away. He was much more composed now, wiping away his own remaining tears with the back of his wrist. You, on the other hand, were practically sobbing into his palm, tears spilling all over his forearm.

“There’s a reason why I chose that particular subject for the film, “ he describes, hands sliding down to intertwine with yours once again, “It serves as a testament to my parents, to my peers, to you, but also to myself,” he beams, releasing the hold on your hands as he stands up from his bed, extending a hand out to you.

You unhurriedly grab his hand, as he tugs you to stand up from his bed, leading you to sit in his own seat. He swivels the chair for it to face his computer, stepping aside so you could sit down.

“I wasn’t planning on giving any sneak peeks, but it just seems right to show you this now,” he explains, clicking through the frames until he arrives at his destination and clicks play.

It starts off with the emulation of a glitching tv screen, the audio sounds as if someone was inserting a tape into a DVR. The ‘no signal’ screen fades into the familiar setting of the beach in his hometown. Hues of blue fading into muted shades of oranges and yellows flash across the screen, accompanied by the soft crashing of the waves washing ashore on the fine sand. The camera quickly shifts his focus to what seems to appear as Jungkook being fully enveloped and underneath the sand, his head being the only thing that isn’t submerged. Flashing his signature grin, his arm emerges from the sand as he gives a thumbs-up to the camera, making the person behind it erupt into a fit of giggles. That person was you.

The scene transitions into the city streets of the suburb that was close to the college. You were walking down the sidewalk, enamored by the bustle of the people who lived there as well as the twinkling lights that were draped from building to building. Clips ranging from his family, his friends, him working, and more are compiled and presented as he talks over it. His voice begins to say, “As individuals living in a society where opportunities seem to just be knocking left and right, we all have dreams and desires. Whether they are attainable or not, that’s what makes them all the more worthwhile and exhilarating to find out for ourselves. Society, whether we like it or not, is filled with certain conjectures that they believe can assure us of these dreams and desires, what they’ve made us believe as the path to success. They mould us from the beginning. As kids, we are told to behave well, listen to our elders, go to school, get good grades, and get into a good college. As adults, we deem success as having a stable job that pays the bills, buying a house and settling down, finding the love of your life, having kids, and working tirelessly until we become worn out and old. We have these presumptions about what’s better and what’s not, what is easier and what isn’t. Regardless of how much we get told that we can achieve anything we want to in life, we grow older and life unexpectedly throws more curveballs at you to make you think that it’s not actually the case. Well, as cliche as it may sound, I’m here to tell you that it’s just not true. Do what you want. Do what you love. Be with the ones you love. Cherish these moments. Film them as keepsakes to look back on. So… what’s your story? What are your dreams and desires? What sparks pure joy within you and keeps you on your feet? Break those moulds that have been holding you down. Reach for the moon and the stars. And maybe someday with the right amount of determination, and a little bit of luck, you can get there.”

The video ends right then and there, and you had no doubt in your mind that this was his best work to date albeit only seeing a snippet of it. A smile graces your lips as you turn your head to look at the creator of it all. He looks back at you with the familiar star-like specks in his eyes, making you feel rest assured that within all the chaos, you would both get through it all.

-

-

MASTERLIST

[marveloussupernerd]

GURL YES IT WAS ON TV LAST NIGHT AND THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS LIKE JUMIN AND MC JUMIN AND MC!!! But yes I came from a YOI imagines blog who recommended you and I’m glad I came! But seriously take your time with it and do NOT be afraid to SHATTER MY HEART MERCILESSLY. Honestly I think we are living the same life in different places! Have a great week my friend!

money can’t buy happiness - Jumin Han

The original request:

Warnings: angst

Summary: dating Jumin Han meant constantly being in the spotlight. However, the press had a vendetta against you. At what point does your sanity take priority over your love towards Jumin? Will almost definitely get a happy pt 2 resolution if someone asks for it bc writing angst makes me sad lmaoo

[support me :)]

You were taking a shower. It was getting late and Jumin wasn’t home yet. The two of you had been dating for about four months and he asked you to move in with him. With you being in the public eye so much, he felt better knowing his security team could keep an eye on you.

You heard a knock on the bathroom door. It opened then shut. “I’m home, My Love. Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

You opened the shower door and leaned over to give him a peck on the lips, then focused back to your shower.

“You mind if I join you?” He asked, pulling his tie to loosen it.

“I... uh-“ you had been sort of self-conscious about your appearance lately. The media didn’t help; they were always reporting on how you looked. You didn’t let Jumin know. You knew it’d only worry him. “Okay. If you want.”

He deftly undid the buttons of his shirt and got undressed, slipping into the shower with you. He wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered, pushing a damp strand of hair out of your face. “You want help washing up?” He had a goofy grin on his face, hand settling on your hip.

“I... I’m not feeling really good about myself... and my body image today,” you confessed, staring at the water droplets on the shower wall.

“I wish you wouldn’t read those news articles. They’re horrible.” He carefully turned you in his arms so you were facing him. “You know I think you’re the most beautiful person in the world.”

“‘Jumin Han’s partner is gaining weight. Could a child be on the way?’” You quoted the article, word-for-word. It was etched into your memory. “I just was popping my hip out to the side. I don’t know. I thought I was being trendy. But they thought I was pregnant?!”

“Don’t listen to a thing they say.”

“I kind of look pregnant though. I need to lose some weight.” You bent over and got some shampoo, massaging the soap into his hair.

His eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. “You look perfect. That feels nice.”

“I just hate how they talk about anything and everything. You have a meeting with a woman? You’re cheating on me. I’m carrying a different purse? I’m a gold digger. I put all my weight on one foot, heaven forbid, and all of a sudden I’m pregnant.” You clapped your hands together, soap spraying against the shower door. “It just sucks.”

“I’m sorry.” He grabbed some conditioner to return the favor. “I got you some more flowers. I know it won’t make up for it all, but I thought they were nice.”

“Mhm. That is nice.”

“Let’s go out for dinner tonight too,” he offered.

“Last thing I need is more people thinking I’m eating too much.”

He pouted. “You’ve gotta eat somehow though.” The two of you stood under the stream of the shower. “I’ll get us a private room? At your favorite place too.”

You sighed. “It’s late Jumin. Don’t make more work for Jaehee.”

“I’ll do it myself then.” He stooped down to kiss your cheek. “Anything for you.”

The two of you got out of the shower and wrapped up in your towels and Jumin wasted no time calling the restaurant. “Hi!” He sounded overly excited. You laughed. “Oh... yes I can hold.”

“This is what it’s like to be a commoner,” you chuckled, pulling out a clean dress shirt for him to wear. Powder blue. He wore too many pinstripes. You really liked the way the color looked on him. You had a dress in the same color. He bought it for you when you bought him that shirt for his birthday; he thought it was cute when you’d match.

“Yes. No problem. This is Jumin Han... Oh! No worries. I was just hoping I could book a private room for a half hour from now,” he was so cute and flustered on the phone. He likely had never done this before. “Yes, that’d be great. Thank you.”

He hung up the phone and you laughed, giving him a hug. “You’re so freaking cute,” you uttered, your towel slipping down your body from the eagerness of the embrace. You pulled back. “I picked out some clothes for us, if you like ‘em.”

He glanced over at the clothes you had hung up and nodded. “Perfect. You’ll look so beautiful in that.” He walked over and grabbed his clothes, taking them off the hanger and starting to dress.

“Don’t forget to call Driver Kim,” you reminded him, picking out a pair of shoes.

“I texted him already. No worries.”

You turned to grin at him and he was already half-dressed. You couldn’t tear your eyes away as he buttoned up the shirt, hiding more and more of his perfect figure. He paused on the top button. “You’re staring.”

“I can’t help it. You’re just so handsome,” you giggled, walking towards him and helping him with the top button. “Will you zip up my dress for me?” You turned your back towards him. He complied, zipping you up.

“Tie or no tie?” He asked, glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

“No tie.” You replied confidently. He nodded, putting on his suit jacket to complete the look.

You glanced at both of your reflections in the mirror. You laughed out loud. “I just realized my hair is soaking wet.” You pulled a hand up to run through his hair. “Yours too.”

“Oops. Guess I didn’t think about that. Why don’t you wear it up then?” He pulled your damp hair off your neck and held it up so you could get an idea of how it’d look with the hair away from your face. “Looks nice to me.”

“Okay,” you smiled. You checked the time on your phone. “We’re going to be late,” you chuckled, sitting down to put your hair up.

He grabbed your shoes and kneeled next to you, helping you step into the heels. As you put Bobby pins in your hair to ensure it looked nice, he grabbed a nude lipstick off the counter and applied it to your lips. “We make such a good team,” he chuckled. You looked at your reflection, satisfied with how well Jumin did on your lipstick.

“Do I look presentable enough?”

“You look breathtaking. Come now,” he offered you his hand and you grabbed it. “Driver Kim is out front.”

You had made it to the restaurant in no time. The staff was extremely nice, taking you to your own private room where you could enjoy each other’s company in peace. The dinner was lovely, but there were some bumps along the way. The waitress served Jumin a glass of wine and you a glass of water. Pregnant women couldn’t drink, of course. You tried to explain you weren’t pregnant. Your eyes were watery and honestly you were extremely embarrassed; it was challenging to get out the words. Luckily, all it took was Jumin requesting to “get her a glass of wine, please,” with a hard look on his face to fix that problem.

Luckily, the food was great. It was your favorite restaurant, after all. Jumin even offered to get dessert. All you wanted was a brownie, but they didn’t have brownies. They made you a brownie. You felt like an inconvenience, but Jumin tipped significantly to reassure you that there was no problem. You asked the chef to come out and thanked them for a their flexibility.

“I can’t believe everyone reads those articles,” you whined when you got in the car. “She really thought I was pregnant.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why she’d think that. The media is... challenging.”

“They hate me. Not that it matters. But wow. The press really is not fond of me,” you confessed, playing with a strand of hair that had fallen from your updo.

“They hate everyone.”

“Your father hates me too.”

“He only hates you because he wanted to date you instead of me. He thinks you’re lovely,” he defended his father.

You sighed and leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m tired.”

“You can shut your eyes. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He reassured you. You nuzzled into his shoulder to get more comfortable and shut your eyes.

You woke up to a clank sound. You sat up, startled. You were in bed? “Jumin,” you glanced at him, sunlight lighting his features. “Wow... I was pretty tired huh?”

“You were. It was adorable... but challenging... helping you get to bed.” He had the sweetest smile on his face. You realized you were in your pajamas. He had helped you get changed, taken off your makeup, and let your hair down, all while you were asleep?

“You’re the sweetest.” You glanced at the clock. He usually didn’t leave work for another hour, yet he was all dressed up already. “Come back to bed and lay with me?” You peeled the covers on his side of the bed down, offering him the spot.

“Wish I could, but I have an early meeting today.” He got down on his knee and gave you a kiss. “I made you pancakes though. Hopefully that’ll make up for it.” He stood back up, grabbing his watch and putting it on.

“I love you. Have a good day at work.” You smiled.

“Have a good day at home. I’ll try to be back as soon as I can, but I might be a little late. I’ll call you later.” He walked to the door to leave, but made his way back to you and kissed your lips once again. “Love you.” And with that, he was gone.

You opted to stay in bed with your pancakes for a while. What was shocking to you, though, was to see your name trending on Twitter. You sighed, opening the tag and bracing yourself for the worst. Gold Digger? Jumin Han’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Even Bother Dressing Up for her Nights Out, Endangering Baby, Sources Say. You groaned. You thought you looked okay. Jumin said you looked beautiful. You hadn’t even seen a camera, but there it was: another unflattering picture of you.

And at the top of the trending tag, a tweet from Sarah. “This girl is not only a home wrecker, ruining Jumin and I’s engagement, but an awful mother-to-be. She clearly only cares for herself.”

You hated this. All the replies were in support of her. Was that... no. Jumin’s father retweeted it too. A sob escaped your mouth. You’d never be good enough for him.

You were packing clothes in the suitcase before you even knew what you were doing. You didn’t know where you were going, but you were leaving. You left the dresses and gifts Jumin got you at the apartment; you were not a gold digger. You didn’t want anything to remind you of him; it’d hurt too bad.

You grabbed a piece of stationary off of the desk in the home office Jumin had installed. You pulled out a pen and began writing. You couldn’t abandon him with nothing. Your heart wouldn’t let you.

Jumin,

I’m sorry. I was never the girl your father wanted me to be. Never the girl the press thought you deserved. I was always kidding myself by thinking I was the right fit for you.

You’ve been raised in the spotlight your whole life. You’re brave and confident and never let anything get to you. I, on the other hand, am sensitive, fragile, and unrefined. I can’t stand in the spotlight; I’ve messed up a million times and I would just keep messing up if I let myself.

It’s not so much that the media has gotten to me; that everyone has turned against me and sided with Sarah... even your father. It’s that I know this will never stop. There will always be problems with me around. You will never have a moment of peace with me. You’ll never be able to walk into a room with me without hearing the whispers. I notice them everywhere I go.

That’s why I have to leave. For you. For your company. And because I’m not strong enough. I’m not who you thought so highly of; I’m an imposter. I could never succeed in your world.

Don’t come looking for me. I don’t even know where I’m going, I just know I need to get away. Get married to Sarah, or someone else refined and beautiful and polite. You deserve the perfect woman who society loves and who knows exactly what to do. That’s not me. It never will be.

I love you, and I wish you only the best.

You were sobbing. There was no point in signing your name. The teardrops littered all over the paper were signature enough. You dropped the note on the bed, grabbed the suitcase, and headed to the door. You were in leggings and a hoodie, sunglasses obstructing most of your face. The last thing you needed was to draw more attention to yourself.

You took a taxi to the airport. You paid for everything with your own money. You left the credit card Jumin had given you at home. You didn’t need to take anything from him. You went to the front desk and booked the cheapest flight as far away as possible. You had always wanted to go to Orlando, you figured. Maybe you could go to Disney World and spend the day sobbing at the happiest place on earth.

You checked your suitcase, went through security, got a drink from Starbucks, and settled down at the gate, waiting for your flight. You cried openly at the airport. Who cared at this point? You couldn’t eat. The only thing giving you any sustenance being the drink in front of you. Eventually they called your boarding group.

You weren’t in first-class, like you usually were with Jumin. No, you were in a cramped row of three at the back of the plane. It was refreshing. You were leaving your old life behind. You glanced out the window as you walked towards your seat. Goodbye Jumin. Goodbye RFA. You should have called Seven and told him. Told him not to track you down at the very least. You’d have to purchase a new phone. You were going to start completely anew. You sniffled, but kept walking down the aisle to your seat, each step feeling like purgatory as you felt the distance from Jumin increase.

[raz-b-rose]

Donsy Week 2020: Day 4: Future

This one twisted in such a way even I was surprised lol. Liked the experiment and will probably rewrite it sometime. 

Words: 1705

@donsyweek

Donald always thought he could plan his whole life out, and his teacher encouraged that mindset with the constant writing of future plans. He always thought he would graduate high school and go to college for a degree that could take him anywhere. He would travel, sailing the seas of the world. That was not how everything has played out so far. 

The war happened, and he was drafted fresh out of high school. He sailed the seas alright, just not in the way he desired. It was a difficult choice on whether or not to make friends during his time in the military. He could lose any of them at a moment's notice, but spending that much time together it was inevitable that a brotherhood would be formed. 

He saw the world, but he wished he could forget some things. The rubble of the cities they patrolled for survivors or made their base camp were seared into his mind. He could smell the smoke and taste the dust still to this day. 

He hated camping and campfires now. He hated canned food, he hated the smell of plaster and he hated the feel of sand and dirt beneath his feet.

Afterwards, returning home to Della and Scrooge, part of him was chipped away at by his experiences and his memories constantly taunting him with the inability to put himself back together. 

Della understood, to a degree. She flew for the army, delivering troops and supplies. She was never in war zones though, rarely saw the aftermath of battles. She tried to help, she tried to get Donald to talk.

However talking to someone, only months after returning home, who did not fully understand his experiences was difficult. He did not want to share the knowledge of war with his sister, he wanted her to live knowing nothing of the horrors he saw. It was easier to share with someone who already had that same knowledge. 

Donald sat on a  bench across from the sea. He was thankful that despite everything, his love for the sea was left untampered with. He could watch the waves all day. He did watch the waves all day. Scrooge didn’t know how to handle the changes in Donald, so for the most part he had left him alone. Alone to relive and process everything while staring out at the water. 

The sun reflected off it now, the early morning chill in the air ineffective towards him. Even after all this time at home, he still rose before the sun, the still peacefulness of the mornings, before others took to their respective days, a reminder that he fought to save these mornings for everyone else and that was good. 

The sun made its way above the horizon little by little, the colors gaining a purple and pink hue blending with the blue of the sky and the sea. The asymmetrical blob that was the sun quickly gained power and was impossible to look at anymore. 

So he closed his eyes, relishing in the salty air and humid breeze. He took in the creaky, warped weather worn wood of the bench with his fingers. He sat there every morning and knew every groove and divot of this wood almost as well as he knew the wood of his boat. 

The wood shifted, a weight taking occupancy beside him. He didn’t open his eyes, wanting to prepare himself in his bubble a little while longer. Interactions with the citizens of Duckburg were still challenging, something he knew he had to work on to regain a sense of normalcy. Not for him, he would never be normal again, but for the citizens. So they could be comfortable in their innocence around him. 

Slowly he opened his eyes, the sky now a lighter purple, pink all but gone, and blue taking control with the sun to declare the day had begun. He glanced at his seat partner, surprised to find a young woman as the occupant. 

She looked around his age, her feathers white and perfectly held back in the fashion he had seen most women wearing these days. He wasn’t sure what it was called. Della wasn’t one to take notice of fashion trends, so he himself never knew. 

Her hands were placed delicately in her lap, eyes closed as she too seemed to be talking in the morning. He saw her take a few deep breaths, so he elected to leave her to her thoughts, still deciding himself if he would even strike up conversation with her when she was done. 

Looking back to the water, he watched the waves push and pull, a constant game of tug of war. A battle of the elements. A battle of nature. Something natural and uncontrollable to man. Maybe mankind had taken too much inspiration from the natural world around them. 

She adjusted herself beside him, reminding him of her presence. Her eyes were now open and Donald couldn’t help but stare. This woman was not only his age physically, but it seemed spiritually as well. 

She had a heaviness to her eyes and a haunted look to her soul. She met his gaze as well, their shared memories being exchanged with a single glance. He saw the way her hands shook the slightest, a broken smile offered to him. 

“Daisy.” She said softly, holding out her hand. 

“Donald” Her hand was not soft. It had a roughness to it that spoke to her experience and sacrifice. 

“It’s a beautiful morning.”

“It truly is” 

They didn’t speak anymore after that, letting the wind converse for them, the waves adding their own opinions. One by one, people leave their homes, people passing by in front of them, blocking the view. 

Donald stands, offering a hand to Daisy. She takes it without hesitation. Both of them were quick to break contact however, both walking deeper into the city with no destination in mind. Donald observes as men dash down the side walks, almost all of them checking their watches while they walk. Women had their own sense of urgency, walking as quickly as they could in their heels, moving politely through the crowd. 

“Would you like to join me for breakfast?” Her voice holds a gentleness, quiet and sad. 

“I would be honored” He follows her into a shop Donald swore wasn’t here before the war, but he could never be too sure. 

He sips on his coffee, watching the patrons outside the window, the waitress having just left the table with their orders. He hears the clink of her spoon as she stirs her own coffee. Besides Della, she was the first woman he met that drank coffee almost as black as he did. 

“It's strange isn't it,” He says quietly, “It's almost as if nothing has changed, but we both know that isn’t the case.”

She hums in response, lowering the cup from her lips, “I only just returned,” His eyes widen a little, while she takes to looking out the window, her eyes clouded with memories. “I was a nurse, trying to rebuild something, anything for the survivors.”

Donald felt guilt bubble in his gut, grief weighing heavily on his shoulders. “I was no help in that department, I can barely hold myself together on a good day”

“Nothing wrong with that, the things we’ve seen, it's enough to haunt you for three lifetimes” She whispered, slowly looking back at him.

He laughs dryly, “I was going to travel the world, but now, I think I’ve seen enough”

She laughs as well, “Yeah, but home feels just as foreign right now, does that ever change?”

“I still feel that way too, I don’t know if it will. I hope so.”

The waitress returns, placing their food in front of them. She offers them a blinding smile and a command to enjoy before flouncing over to another table. He picks at his eggs, still having trouble with his appetite even after all this time.

“What are your plans now?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I used to think about my future all the time, but now it just seems so clouded and impossible”

She nods, taking a bite of her own eggs, “I don’t think I can be a nurse anymore, not right now anyway”

“Enough for three lifetimes,” He reiterates, she whispers the words again herself, gaining that far off look once again.  

Donald looks back out the window, taking notice of all the families and couples and friends and single people all going about their lives. He glanced back at Daisy. It was easier to talk to someone who already shared in the knowledge and he knew he had to talk eventually. 

“Would you be interested in being foreigners together?”

“That sounds nice,” Again her tone was soft, but there was less of an element of sadness to it now. And so two foreigners in their home city shared a delicious breakfast. 

Donald always thought he could plan his whole life out, and his teacher encouraged that mindset by writing about future plans. He always thought he would travel, sailing the seas of the world. That was not how everything has played out.  

Donald jumped, gasping in surprise at the dull pain on his stomach. He wiped the sleep from his eyes, shaking off the remnants of his dream, slowly gaining his bearings. 

“Dad! Come play with me! No more sleeping! ”Lying across his stomach, with wide eyes and an even wider smile was Thomas. He ruffled his feathers, slowly sitting up in his chair, adjusting his son so he sat on his lap. 

“Donald, what have I told you about afternoon naps? Now you’re going to be up late again tonight” Daisy enters the house, closing the door behind her, scolding Thomas for leaving the door open again. 

“Yes Ma’am,” He sassed, smirking at Daisy’s glare, rising to kiss her, prolonging the kiss when Thomas started to shout his disgust. She smacked him gently on the shoulder, kissing his cheek before leaving the boys alone. 

Donald wasn’t too sure how his future would look for a short period of his life but now, with Daisy and Thomas, he knew it was a good one.

[iplaymatchmaker]

Hi there, me again, if I read the rules correctlyyou said we could do a separate ask for a separate game. If I read incorrectlyplease just ignore this, if not if my first ask wasn't to much I'd love to ask for an ikerev matchup as well! I'm bi, female (she/her) sagittarius sun, virgo rising, libra moon, ENFT. I'm 5'2, chubby/curvy w/ great boobs, I have longer  brunette hair w/ peekaboo highlights (they've been every color, but currently pink), brown eyes, glasses/contacts, 7 piercings & 26 tattoos. I'm very empathetic (sometimes to a fault) and have sever anxiety and depression. It takes me awhile to warm up around new people and be myself. I often feel intimidated in big social settings, such as parties, and often use alcohol for some liquid courage to help me let loose and be me in those situations. I've suffered some emotional and mental abuse at the hands of a step parent which has left me with some trauma and triggers; people raising their voice at me or making quick movements toward me or in my direction usually result in me crying and secluding myself for awhile. Oh and I have daddy issues, thanks absent father. That said I also don't do great with authority, I hate being told what to do, and I hate being told no. I can put up with a lot of shit, but eventually it usually becomes a 'straw that broke the camels back' situation and I fly off the handle and then break down. I am also extremely generous and do all I can to help my friends and family when they need it. I have some self confidence issues from weight gain, and I usually feel my best when I'm dolled up with my makeup on and hair done, usually with a dress and heels. I'm a Ravenclaw thats hates to read, but I love learning & know tons of trivia; like I know so many random facts about so many things from history, to movies, to graveyards, and much more. I often correct people on things, which some perceive as me belittling them, but its never my intention I'm just trying to share my knowledge and trying to help them. I am very creative I love crafting; resin art, macrame, cross stich, those are just some of my favorite things to do art wise, I also enjoy coloring books. I love to laugh and think I'm pretty funny, I usually have a dark sense of humor, if you don't like humor we won't vibe together, and if you can't make me laugh we will not be a good relationship match. I like to go to the bar and do karaoke, it's one thing I've learned I'mvery good at. It took me about 2 years, but I've since learned to be confident with my singing and now its one of my favorite things to do. I drink, obviously, gin and tonic is my favorite. I also smoke, I love my hookah, and I've had my medical card for about a year and it's done wonders for my insomnia and cramps. For about 2 years I've been getting severe cramps and stomach pains, and after 5 er trips in a month they didn't find anything, its still a mystery but at least the bud helps the pain. l'm very into the witchy aesthetic; my style is either very Stevie Nicks, pinup, or 2009 emo/scene depending on the day. I collect animal skulls and bone, taxidermy, crystals, and plants; I also practice the craft & love to make spell jars for people. I love tarot and really enjoy doing it. I live for Halloween & enjoy all things macabre! My favorite show is That 70's Show and if I could live in a replica of the Forman's house that would be my dream. I am also very sex positive and rather adventurous in bed. I'm a brat and a voyeur, I'll get down with just about anything. My love language is giving and receiving gifts. I put alot of thought into holidays like Christmas, I plan months in advance to make sure I get everyone the perfect gift; but I also will sometimes see something that just reminds me of someone and have to get it for them. That is all I can think of right now to add about myself. I'd love 4 and/or 10 for the prompt part. And again thank you for doing these, I'm such a ho for them, and again I'm sorry its long.

I match you with

Edgar!

Thank you so much for requesting 🥰🥰! I’m sorry this took so long, but here it is! I hope you enjoy it ❤️! I Hope you don’t mind the sprinkle of angst in the second ask.😅

I was thinking Ray at first, but I ended up going with Mr smooth, since Ray is too predictable after Nap.

Edgar is known among the red army officers as the person who will make you feel safe, especially during your first encounters with them, before you find out they’re all dorks.  What he doesn’t expect is how at home he feels when the two of you are together. He never feels like he’s being judged when he’s around you and he lets himself go, despite the indoctrination by Claudius that he should always keep people at a distance to avoid being viewed as weak.

Not long after the two of you met, he decides to take you out along with Kyle for a drink, to help you get more accustomed to Cradle and its people. When you realize how much Kyle loves to drink, you follow suite, the two of you very quickly getting tipsy. Edgar laughs at the two of you for a bit, happy to see a new side of you as you allow yourself to grow more comfortable with them. Eventually he leads the two of you outside of the pub and arranges for a carriage to take you all back to headquarters, trying his hardest to tame the both of you.

He absolutely loves it when you sing to him, especially after a particularly hard day of work. He relaxes at the sound of your voice, often drifting off. It touches him more than he would like to admit when he finds you’re still there when he wakes up.

You are a light in his life and he wants to give back in kind, often dedicating his days off entirely to you. He loves giving you gifts, or surprising you with a romantic dinner to show his appreciation to you, for being there and understanding him.

While he doesn’t have the creativity to participate in most of your hobbies, he loves to watch you do it. The amount of passion you show for your art, the way your eyes light up when you’re working, is a picture perfect moment that he could look at for hours.

Prompt 4: Meet cute:

You couldn’t stop fidgeting as you stood outside the Red Army Headquarters, waiting for Kyle to fetch someone to help you. After you told him about burglars breaking into your house he insisted he get one of the officers to help you, despite you doubts. It was hard not to worry as you considered the prospect of having to turn to Jonah for help, knowing how hard he could be to communicate with, capable officer or not.  

When Kyle finally emerged, it wasn’t Jonah walking next to him, but a man you didn’t recognize.  

“Sorry for the wait. He’s not easy to find.” The man stood a few heads higher than you but his softer features and aura helped to make him quite welcoming. You begun to relax at his presence, wondering if he was as smooth as he seemed.

“Edgar Bright, at your service.” He offered you a gloved hand, a soft smile playing on his lips. His grip was soft but secure. He was smooth.

“Kyle filled me on the details but I’ll need a statement from you as well.” You tensed up, the idea of an interrogation being especially daunting considering you didn’t know much more than they did.

“No need to worry, it’s simply protocol. You can trust we will find whoever did this without any turbulence.” There was something very reassuring about him. Something that makes you think everything will be all right.

“Thank you.”

 The two of you left Kyle behind, retreating to Edar’s room to discuss the details of the investigation. After he poured two cups of tea he took the seat opposite you, as if the two of you were about to chat about the weather.

“Could you give me the details of what happened? It would be very helpful to hear it straight from the source.” You took a sip before starting with your statement, hoping to calm your nerves.

“I don’t know much more than you do. I was out for work most of the day and when I came back the place was a mess and many valuables were missing.” he seemed to have switched to work mode, completely focused on you.

“What time did you leave for work that day? And when did you return” he scribbled down on a piece of paper, his hand practically moving on its own.

“I left around 8 and came back around 6, I think.” When he put the pen down his attitude returned to relaxed gentleman status.

“I will start with asking the people who might have been present at the scene. I’ll get back to you once I’ve made some progress.” The conversation was over but you found it hard to leave. It didn’t feel right letting one man do the investigation on his own, despite it being his job. It was your house that had been rambled after all.

“I want to help as well. I know my way around the area, I can get in touch with some people.” His eyes widened, seemingly taken aback for the first time that day. He quickly composed himself, smiling again. You noticed something different about it now. Something in his expression told you he was more interested than before.

“I wouldn’t say no to a lady.” You smiled for the first time after the incident.

“Let’s get going then.”

 Prompt 10: Admission Of Feelings.

You continued working on the investigation for the next few weeks, the two of you growing closer by the day.

“There don’t seem to be any witnesses, but it’s unlikely no one was present. The break in happened in the middle of the day.” He rested his head on his chin, not touching the parfait sitting in front of him.

“Maybe they were there but didn’t notice anything. It’s not hard for a professional to pick a lock discreetly.” They two of you sat in silence for some time, both lost in your own theories of what happened that day.

He must have realized your worries, turning on his comfort face.

“We’ll find them. Don’t worry.” Usually you found his words comforting, but you couldn’t keep the frustration from your voice when you looked up at him.

“Realistically speaking, it’s probably not going to happen. They made a clean escape and left nothing behind. You don’t need to baby me, I can put two and two together.” Despite the harshness of your tone, you found him smiling, after the initial surprise wore off.

“You never cease to amaze me.” He opened his mouth to say something, but the words never left him, his eyes turning to the window. He was up and out of the café before you could ask what he had seen.

“What the-“when you looked in the direction of the culprit, you shot up, following after him.  

A man stood outside your door, seemingly fighting with the door. When he noticed the two of you approaching him, he dropped his bags, taking off before you could reach him.

“Stop!” Edgar run after him, his speed taking you by surprise, making it hard to catch up.

The man took a sudden turn, heading towards the narrow alleys of Central Quarter, giving you an important disadvantage in the chase.

Your legs ached and your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest. When you thought you couldn’t keep going, you rounded a corner to find Edgar, sitting on top of the man, pinning him in place. If he was tired from the chase, it didn’t show.

“I suppose I don’t need to ask if it was you who broke in a few weeks ago?” his gaze was cold and his grip was tight on the man’s shoulders.

“I- I just- I-it wasn’t me!” Edgar ignored him, turning towards you. Something flickered in his eyes, but loud footsteps coming your way didn’t let him act on whatever it was.

“The Jack? Sir, what happened? We heard the commotion and came to investigate.” A handful of Red Army soldiers stood in front of you, their eyes switching between Edgar and the man under him.  

“Take this man back to headquarters. I will interrogate him later.” Edgar pulled the man up, pinning his hands behind his back.

“Yes sir!” when the men led the thief away there was silence. Edgar’ kept his head low, not looking you in the eye as he tried to calm his breathing, the adrenaline of the chase slowly fading away. You knew you should be happy the man had been caught, but something was wrong in the atmosphere. You weren’t sure if you should speak up, or let him ride whatever it was out. He didn’t give you time to think on it, finally walking toward you. His hands were shaking when he reached out to touch your shoulders, a mixture of frustration and worry in his eyes.

“You…. Why…” you weren’t sure what to say, so you put your arms around him instead, hoping it would offer him some comfort. You stayed like that for some time, until his hands stopped shaking.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” His words were muffled by the fabric of your shirt. When he lifted his head again, something inside him seemed to snap.

“You shouldn’t have followed me. What if something happened? You could have gotten hurt.” He looked away, his eyes shut tight. You wondered what image was going through his head to cause him so much pain. You cupped his face, forcing him to face you.

“Edgar, look at me.” And he did. The sight of you seemed to calm him down.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’m right here.” It took some time for the words to register, but when they did his face moved closer to you. You encouraged him, pulling him closer, your lips connected in a brief kiss. When he pulled away he took a step back, as if scared he had hurt you.

“I-I’m sorry.” You moved closer, smiling up at him.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Except maybe pulling away.” You laughed. When he realized you might feel the same way he took your hands in his.

“You’re an amazing woman.” He paused to gather his breath before meeting your gaze again.

“If the thought wouldn’t be appalling, could I see more of you, outside of work?” you couldn’t keep the laughter inside.

“Appalling? Edgar, do you think I would kiss someone I find appalling?” you pulled him back in, hoping to get your point across.

“I’ll never get enough of this.” His smile was brighter than you’d ever seen it.

“I’ll hold you to that. Because we’re just getting started.” The moon was bright above you as you laughed, your happiness overflowing.

[fieryanmitsu]

A Shoulder to Lean On | A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020 – Day 3 (Tasuku/Izumi)

And my entry for Day 3 of the A3! Rare Pairs Week is… Tasuku/Izumi!! For anyone who’s read my series “Intertwined Roots”, you’ll know that I absolutely love the same age group that comprises of Izumi, Tsumugi, Tasuku and Itaru. Honestly, Izumi paired with any of these three guys are my top Izumi ships, and I’ve been meaning to write a Tasuku/Izumi fic since I’ve written the other two ships already! So, I’m very glad that this week has kicked my butt into finally getting one out!

A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON

PROMPTS: One’s strength / One’s fear

CHARACTERS: Tasuku Takato, Izumi Tachibana

PAIRINGS: Tasuku/Izumi

My fanfic masterpost: Here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu

“Seriously! What were you thinking?!” Tasuku growled, carefully examining Izumi’s rapidly swelling foot.

She winced as he placed the ice pack against her ankle.

“S-Sorry, I thought I could handle it.”

“How could you possibly handle anything if the boxes were piled so high that you couldn’t even see past them?” he demanded.

“It-It’s not like they were heavy! And no one was supposed to be over there anyway, so it’s not like I would risk bumping into anyone,” Izumi protested sullenly.

They were currently sitting in the lobby of a theatre on Veludo Way. Another theatre company had asked for Izumi’s help as an extra stagehand during their rehearsals. She had been moving some boxes of spare props and supplies to the storage area backstage when she had tripped over some uneven flooring and fallen, spraining her ankle on the way down.

Tasuku, who was guest acting for the play, had happened to come across her sprawled on the floor when he had come out of the nearby washroom. After he had helped her to the lobby – with a princess carry, much to her embarrassment – he had fetched an ice pack and was currently fiddling with a roll of bandages.

“It doesn’t matter if you thought no one was going to run into you. There were so many other issues with what you were doing! Like the potential of tripping and falling – which is exactly what happened,” he chided gruffly. “And have you considered that there was also a problem with the fact that no one was supposed to be in that area? What if I hadn’t happened to be there? You know that no one usually uses that washroom – I just happened to be using it because the main one was full. What would you have done if no one came to help you? You would have made your ankle so much worse! I can’t believe someone your age can be so stupid! You need to learn what your limits are and stick with it!”

Izumi couldn’t help but flinch at Tasuku’s harsh tirade. He could give Sakyo a run for his money.

“I’m sorry…” she apologized again, having nothing else to say for herself. Though a part of her wanted to refute that she did know her limits, but that she just hadn’t calculated for the uneven floor, she also knew that he was correct that she could have been more careful and carried less boxes at a time. She was also fortunate that none of the props had been damaged when she fell.

“Here. That should do it for now. You should ice it more and elevate it when we get home. We’ll have to find you some extra pillows or cushions or something when we get back to the dorm,” he said as he finished wrapping her foot in a bandage.

“Thanks, Tasuku,” she replied. “I guess we should call someone to pick us up? Hopefully Sakyo or Itaru are home… I don’t have enough cash on me for a taxi.”

“It’s fine, I’ll take you home,” Tasuku responded, slinging his bag over his shoulder and shortening the strap so that it hung snug in front of his stomach.

“Huh? But, you walked here too, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. It’s only a 20-minute walk back to the dorm, so I can just carry you home,” he replied without batting an eye.

“You’re going to what?!” she exclaimed.

“We don’t have enough money for a taxi, right? I can just give you a piggyback. It’s such a short distance home, there’s no point in calling someone,” Tasuku responded. “Besides, it’ll be like resistance training.”

“You’re not serious.”

“Hurry up and get on,” he directed, turning his back to her and crouching down.

Izumi was dumbfounded by this turn of events. When was the last time someone had given her a piggyback ride? And to be given one now that she was a full-grown adult… A part of her still wanted to call someone, but what Tasuku had said made sense. They really were only a short walk home… Finally, shaking her head and not quite believing that she was going through with it, she slung her purse to sit behind her and put her arms over Tasuku’s shoulders.

Checking to see that she was securely clasped around his neck, he carefully stood up and wrapped his arms snugly under her thighs. Then, without another word, he walked them out of the theatre and into the night air.

For the next couple of minutes, they strode wordlessly down the sidewalk of Veludo Way. As they caught the looks of passersby, Izumi couldn’t help but feel bad for inconveniencing the man carrying her.

She hated this. Hated feeling this way – like she was a burden. Izumi didn’t know when it had all started anymore, but for as long as she could remember, she had always done her best to be helpful and useful. To prove her worth – as if she needed to remind the world that she existed.

This fear of being left behind and forgotten was one of the reasons that drove her to constantly take on jobs with other theatres. She wanted to ensure that she could learn as many skills as possible and gain as much experience as she could so that she could be of continued use to Mankai Company. She didn’t think she could lose that, too.

“Umm, sorry for being such a bother, Tasuku,” Izumi said quietly, her negative thoughts coming to a head. “It really was stupid of me to have been so careless…”

Tasuku didn’t respond right away. Then, she heard – and felt – him sigh.

“I’m not upset, okay? I was just worried. You… you have this bad habit of taking too much on your plate. You’ve been packing your schedule lately, too, and when I saw you on the floor… My heart stopped. If something serious happened to you, I don’t know how everyone would keep it together. We would probably fall apart.”

Izumi silently mulled over his words. It was rare for him to say so much and to be this honest with her. It made a warm feeling bloom inside the depths of her stomach, and she was glad that he couldn’t see her face, because she was fairly certain that she was blushing. Only just a little, though.

“Thanks, Tasuku… I… I just like to keep myself busy. I want to keep improving myself and do as much as I can for the Company. But, I guess I can get a bit overenthusiastic sometimes. Like with those boxes.”

“Well… it’s not always a bad thing. Just know that you aren’t in it alone, when it comes to Mankai. We all call that place home – none of us want to see it go under. You’ve got at least twenty sets of shoulders to lean on, and… mine’s always open if you need it,” Tasuku replied as he stopped walking to readjust her weight on his back. “Also… sorry about earlier. I was too harsh. I know I say more than I need to when I get, uh… heated.”

“That’s true… I do see you scold Tsumugi a lot. I guess this is just how you treat your friends,” she remarked with a chuckle.

Another silence fell between them as he started walking again, and Izumi felt disappointed that their conversation appeared to be over. However, to her surprise, he spoke again a moment later.

“… You know that I don’t see you as a friend, right?”

“What?! You don’t?!” Izumi exclaimed, feeling both shocked and indignant. “After all this time?! We’ve gone drinking so many times together, too! What the heck?!”

She felt Tasuku sigh again as she pounded his back with one fist.

“Look – I didn’t mean it that way. I just— I see you as more than a friend, okay?” he snapped back, resolutely keeping his eyes facing forward.

Izumi froze.

“Wait. What did you just say?” she asked slowly. She was sure she had heard him correctly, but she almost didn’t believe it.

“Nothing. I said nothing. Forget about it.”

“Huh?! No way! There’s no way I’d forget something like that!” Izumi retorted.

“Didn’t you just say you didn’t hear what I said?!” he growled.

“I just want to hear you say it again.”

“No.”

“C’moooon! Say it again!”

“No!”

“Saaaaay iiiittt!”

“I swear – I’m going to leave you here and you can walk home!” Tasuku finally snapped.

“You wouldn’t dare!” she taunted back, butterflies fluttering in her stomach at the familiar banter between them. “If you do, I’ll tell Tsumugi on you. I bet I could get him to tell me tons of embarrassing stories about you as compensation.”

“Okay, I’m really going to drop you.”

Izumi shrieked as she felt Tasuku loosen his grip on her legs and she started to slip down his back. However, he immediately caught her and bounced her up onto his waist again.

“You’re the worst! I can’t believe you just did that!” she scowled, wrapping her arms firmly around his neck – just in case – and definitely not because she wanted to feel closer to him.

“Serves you right,” he snorted.

“Fine, I’ll let you off the hook this time – since you’re carrying me home,” Izumi replied, her voice softening. “Thanks, Tasuku.”

Then, she stretched her neck forward and planted a quick kiss on Tasuku’s cheek before moving back and nuzzling her cheek against his broad and warm shoulder. She couldn’t help a big smile from crossing her face as she glimpsed – from the corner of her eye – his ears turning bright red.

I really do enjoy the relationship between these two. I’m just such a sucker for friends/lovers who banter with each other. It’s just so much fun writing Izumi keeping Tasuku on his toes, too, haha. I also have a lot of feelings about Izumi. I didn’t go too much into it here, but I hope to further explore my take on her in future fics!!

I’m happy I was able to get out three entries within the actual Rare Pairs Week! I just need to ride this wave of productivity and finish up the rest of the entries in the next week or two before I lose steam (and hoping real life won’t get in the way of my plans)!!

Thanks again for reading and please do leave a comment with what you thought! If you enjoyed this, please do help me out with a reblog!

Please stay tuned! Next entry will be that ItaIzu smut I was talking about previously back on Day 1, haha.

-Anmitsu

[shadowshamrock]

Before You Go

Title: Before You Go Ch. 10

Summary:  Chuck is serious this time about the world ending thanks to his hissy fit with the Winchesters. The Winchesters are not as alone as they thought in their war against god. There’s always been secrets from the Men of Letters that could always be revealed. Someone from Dean’s past always had a connection and they come back to remind him.

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14| 15 | 16

Words: 2062

Isabel watched Jack and Castiel drive off and she made a phone call to Sheriff Evans. She told him, Jack was arrested, and they could rest again. She went back to the warehouse; she went to one of the crates and pushed away the dust sitting on top. They hadn’t been moved in a while by the look of the dust. She took out her phone, going through her contacts. She stared at her grandmother’s name and wondered if she’d even pick up. She tapped it, the call started and figured it was at least a start.

“A few minutes late, but who’s really timing these things?” Kathryn Monachi always spoke this way. “Which question are we answering today?”

Isabel hated the way her grandmother spoke. She could predict things but with her age it seemed to be diminishing. However, tonight she seemed to know Isabel’s life was going to take a turn, which was the reason she was making the phone call in the first place.

“Hi Kathryn. Nice to hear your voice too. The knife wound is fine, by the way.” She said, the sarcasm dripped from her words. She needed to get to the pony. “First, I need a favor.” She said pausing.

Kathryn gave a small chuckle. “Don’t you always. We cleaned up the Kabaiel’s mess already with Sheriff Evans. Kabaiel’s life was long already, and Jack’s purpose is more important than ours. You’re welcome.” She stated this so nonchalantly; it made Isabel angrier.

Everyone kept mentioning Jack’s purpose and somehow, she was involved. She sat on her motel bed and tried to gain her composure. Everyone who raised her seemed to know what was going on more than she did, and it was annoying. She was starting to realize Dean’s aggravation was legitimate and she could feel her power start to pulse through her.

“Kathryn, what exactly do you see? Apparently, Death is really insistent on my involvement and now you’re suddenly okay with it?” She asked.

She heard Kathryn move on the other side. “I can’t see you as much, only when you’re with the Winchesters. That angel, Castiel you spend a lot of time with him and that changes my sight. I don’t think this is a phone conversation, but to put it bluntly you’re not exactly my granddaughter.” She answered.

Isabel’s head spun. “Excuse me?” She said calmly as possible.

“Kabaiel ironically was the one who brought you to us. Told us officers to train you. Your mother and father wanted children, so they decided to take you. You were an interesting child, always curious, hear a lot more than most telepaths. You were quick, lethal, obedient for the most part, and easy to put through what you had to because the attachment was gone. Kabaiel never told us who your parents were. Just that you were sleeping for ages, and that you were the light out of the darkness.” She told her all of this and the room started spinning.

Isabel parents were killed, she was starting to see a trend. She had the phone away from her ear in order to compose herself. She gained some of her composure again, trying not to feel as though she was meant to be alone.

“So why never tell me, but make damn sure I knew my place?” She asked.

Kathryn let out a sigh on the other end. “Again, my dear, we had orders.” She simply stated.

“Orders for what?” She asked.

“To make sure you left the Winchesters alone. But what good did that do. You and Lucan meeting Dean Winchester all those years ago, the plan was thrown off. Things needed to be… adjusted.” Kathryn finished this sentence as if Isabel should know what was meant.

Isabel was tired of hearing about plans at this point. She took another deep breath, why was everyone so sure the Winchesters would be the ones to take care of everything. It was getting ridiculous, and the boys had suffered enough. She wanted to know more, realizing at this point she may not have the energy to, and she stilled the anger inside her as she felt the drum of power beat through her. “Death greets me like an old friend. I have no parents, and all you can say after that is it’s just orders?” She asked finally.

Kathryn paused on the other line letting out another deep breath. “We tried with you Isabel. We only had what I’ve told you. Your purpose as far as I could tell was to be obedient like the rest of us, but I can say you never did fit in with the rest of us Nephilim.” She added. “Don’t let me keep you; I tried to love you the best I could. You’ve just been different…” her voice showed a hint of sadness. “I know you loved your mother as much as she loved you. Don’t let that change anything. When she took you under her care, she had Anabel and she always took that as a thank you.” Kathryn finished finally and Isabel didn’t know what to say.

A part of her always felt Kathryn blamed her parents death on her even though she couldn’t fully remember what happened. She hadn’t realized she had started crying, tears hitting her lap. She sniffed. “Thank you, Kathryn. I’ve got to go.” She said, wiping her hand on her sleeve.

“Oh, and Isabel, the light and the dark, remember they cannot exist without each other.” Kathryn added. “Take care and I do love you.” She said.

The phone call ended, and Isabel sat in slight disbelief and disappointment. She had learned over the years to never ask questions if you didn’t want to know the answers, but she hadn’t exactly expected that revelation at all. She fell back, laying out herself on the bed. She didn’t know her heritage at all, just that it seemed relevant and insistent on balance. She looked at her tattoo on her arm and raced the letters. How was only 18 hours ago Castiel’s fingers had been there. She smiled softly remembering and happy Castiel had Jack back. She rolled on her side, picking up her phone again. She went to dial Castiel’s number but didn’t feel ready quite yet.

The news she received was heavy and she knew Castiel would try to figure out who her parents were. She had parents, loved them to death, and now her story was just her wandering the world. She felt her purpose was gone. She remembered the voice in her head, it was Jack’s. She wondered why in his capture; Jack reached out to her. She looked at the time, trying to figure out if she could make it back to the bunker. It was already too late to try and get a rental car, and she believed sleep could clear her head at this point. She needed to change out of her bloody clothes, tossed the shirt in the trash, made a mental note to get new one and turned on the shower.

Isabel let the cold water turn to hot, steam filling the bathroom. She rested her naked body against the tile, cool to her skin, and sobbed. It was starting to be too much; mentally exhausted. She finished up her shower, looked down to analyze her wound and she noticed a light scar. She frowned, wondering when she started to heal quickly and wrapped the towel around her. She came out of the bathroom and on her bed was a plastic case and a letter.

These were always yours. The note was in her grandmother’s script. She scowled, a little ticked off someone got into her room while she was showering.

Isabel put her clothes on quickly just in case and sat down on the other bed across from the box. She didn’t know what was in it. She was trained to fight all her life and she wondered if it was some type of weapon. She moved to open it, and her phone rang. She raised an eyebrow, taking it out and not recognizing the number. She hit the answer button and put it up to her ear.

“Hello?” She asked.

“Isabel, hi, it’s me, Jack.” The voice was comforting, and she smiled.

She crossed her legs on the bed and sat. “Let me guess, Castiel gave you my number to check on me?” She asked.

Jack smiled on the other end. “Well, no, but I’m sure when I asked for it, that’s why he gave it to me.” He said. “Are you though, okay, I mean?” He asked.

Something deep down believed she had no reason to lie to him. She let out a long breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “No, not really. A lot happened today.” She said.

Jack sighed. “I’m sorry you died.” He said.

Isabel huffed. “I’m beginning to realize it was calculated. Not that I think it was you… it wasn’t your idea, was it?” She asked.

“No, Billie is very firm about you and me. I have strict orders to lie low so Chuck can’t find me. All I understand is Chuck can’t see you. It confuses him when Sam, Dean, even Castiel interact with you.” He confirmed.

Isabel took this in for a moment with the information she had found out today. “The reason I’ve been told to leave them alone all my life.” She muttered. She stood up and opened the box. She smirked; it was her sais she couldn’t find the day she left all those years ago. She had a feeling Kathryn knew she was leaving and kept them from her on purpose. She ran her fingers on one of the handles, feeling the power of angel magic. She smiled, picking up a blade as Jack spoke.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

“I need to ask a big favor, before I tell you this, I have to know you won’t tell Castiel. I plan to myself, I’m just not ready yet. Can you do that?” She asked. She adjusted the blade in her hand, balancing the weight of it in her hand. As she twisted the blade, she noticed a symbol that wasn’t coming to her as she waited for Jack’s answer.

“That’s a big ask.” Jack responded.

“I know; and I know especially since we just met, but something else is telling me to trust you. Can I?” She asked, putting the blade back down in the box.

Jack smiled to himself, feeling the same way. “Yes.” He answered wholeheartedly.

“My family history isn’t what I thought it was. I’m still Nephilim, I just don’t know which family line I come from. My powers apparently aren’t the same as everyone else’s I grew up with.” She told him.

Jack was amazed. “You had a whole family of Nephilim?” He asked.

Isabel forgot Jack was young. “Yes. I’m sorry Jack. Apparently, we’re the only ones left. Well, there’s my grandmother, but she insists she’s not like you where she’s a direct line. I thought I was the same way, but I’m starting to reconfigure that story.” She told him.

“Isabel, you realize that’s not something I can just keep from Cas. He’s like my dad and from what I can gather from how he was on the way home after you stayed behind, you mean a lot to Castiel too.” Jack told her this with full confidence.

Isabel ran a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I know. I just, need some time.” Isabel said.

Jack sighed. “Look, Sam and Dean will be able to help. I hope to see you soon, please.” He added.

Isabel smiled softly, he sounded so hopeful, it was hard to say no despite how resentful she was feeling. “I’m heading back in the morning. Get some rest Jack, good night.” She said.

Jack smiled happily at the phone as he hung up. He knew how happy Castiel felt when she came back and felt that shatter when she pushed him away. He found things so confusing still, however since interacting with Isabel in the Empty, even briefly, he felt a strange bond to her. She was a Nephilim like him, that he felt for sure; with the way Billie talked about her, she was as special as he was, and he wondered a bit why he was picked over her. Billie kept answering with in due time and Jack hoped meeting her would bring answers.