#now im gonna burn down an entire world just to keep my baby safe

[amoristt]

Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

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“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him. 

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this. 

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red. 

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you. 

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.” 

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it. 

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?” 

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.” 

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most  practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy. 

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip. 

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy.  As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.” 

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be. 

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke. 

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind. 

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find. 

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.  

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse. 

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable. 

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look. 

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began. 

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan. 

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

You lowered your head. 

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot. 

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled. 

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?” 

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod. 

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.  

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned 

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again. 

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly. 

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust. 

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that? 

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person? 

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once. 

No one believed you.

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With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew. 

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under. 

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed.  How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you. 

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions. 

No wonder he was so angry. 

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call. 

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.” 

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing. 

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.” 

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.” 

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it. 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again. 

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy.  He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right? 

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger. 

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos. 

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh. 

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up. 

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?” 

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot. 

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.” 

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.” 

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm. 

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.

[nakamoto-aesthetics]

Guardian Angel | Johnny

synopsis: on the way from a friends house you bump into a man who was trying to harm you but luckily a guy named johnny saves you before you were taken. from there you get to know him a bit and things get… interesting. (the synopsis makes the story sound boing but i promise it’s not :)

pairing: johnny suh x fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff, a lil smut

warning: something similar to human trafficking in the beginning (if you’re sensitive to that topic please don’t read this fic), heavy make out shesh, not proofread!, other than that there’s nothing i can think of

a/n: also remember that this is a FIC and not real life, please don’t welcome strangers into your home :))

word count: 4.1k

“where do you think you’re going in that cute little dress baby?” an unfamiliar voice is heard as you walk down the fairly dark street. you don’t say anything and continue to walk not paying any attention to the voice. there was no one else really around, barely any cars passing by, let alone people.

“I asked you a question, I expect an answer” the tone was firm, his footsteps getting faster and so do yours. you hurriedly pull out your phone, quickly forming a plan that involved some of your friends but that all crashed and burned once you saw the dead battery flashing on the screen. your heart sink and tears instantly pooled in your eyes, threatening to fall from your eyes. that was your only escape, what were you gonna do now?

you were just trying to get home that was all. maybe you should’ve let your friend drive you home but you didn’t because you didn’t want to cause your friend an inconvenience. you were beginning to regret that decision, all because of that small reason. at least you would’ve been home safe and sound but no, you decided to be the unselfish and independent person you are, and look where it got you.

“hey!” a hand grips your shoulder from behind and swings you around. “I asked you a question when I ask a question I expect an answer” the guy wasn’t a foreigner, he was most definitely korean. he seemed to be in his mid-30s, the age definitely showed. there were creases and wrinkles in some areas of his face and his clothes were all black including his shoes. you try to pull away from the grip but he only grips your shoulder harder, hurting you more than you would like to admit.

“maybe I need to refresh your short memory,” the guy chuckles lowly, his finger shifting your head up to meet his eyes. “where are you going in that cute little dress?” his eyes looked you up and down, his free hand gliding down your waist, slowly traveling to your ass. your face stayed straight the entire time even while tears fell down your face. you knew who had the upper hand power in the situation, you knew there was little you could do even if you didn’t dare say it aloud.

“still not talking? well maybe I should force it out of you huh?” he tilts his head. no, because the whole time you were creating a plan b in your head since plan a failed. there was no way you were going to allow yourself to be trafficked.

“well then, you made this choice for yourself. i’m sorry to do this sweetheart” his hands grope your ass and that's when you strike. you move your leg up to kick him in the balls but he’s faster than you, grabbing ahold of your leg before it collided with his area.

“is that what you were doing this whole time, creating that wack-ass plan? you didn’t think i’d see it coming that’s so cute,” he fake coos. “i’ve been doing this longer than you, i’m smarter and faster than you love” he throws down your leg and in the blink of an eye, you are turned around in his grip with an arm around your neck. your hand flies to his arm and you pull on it, not wanting to be choked to death.

“is there a problem over here miss?” another unfamiliar voice calls, making both you and the guy look over to where it came from. it was a tall guy with light brown hair. he had tan skin and different pieces of clothing put together that oddly worked. his eyes were a soft brown, not too harsh. he was… kinda cute if you were being honest. he was also In the process of taking his headphones out of his ears, for what reason? you didn’t know.

“there’s no problem here, keep on walking buddy” the male answered for you.

“I asked the lady not you” the new stranger spoke harshly to the trafficker and look at you once again. “are you okay?” he knitted his eyebrows. your eyes caught his, filling with tears, threatening to spill from your eyes. he nodded softly understanding how you were feeling through your eyes. he then looked at the male behind you.

“let her go, I don’t wanna hurt you” he said firmly.

“oh yeah, what can you do?” he looks him up and down and laughs at the guy, walking back to his original place, which was a block or two away.

“Im can do a lot” the stranger walks in front of you and the guy, making you both stop once again.

“listen man, this is my girlfriend. we’re just having a little disagreement aren’t we honey?” the guy tightens his hold around your neck. you open your mouth trying to suck in more air but his hold gets tighter. you tap on his arm in hopes that he’ll release you but he doesn’t. there was no way you were gonna agree with him.

the stranger doesn’t think furthermore and before either of you knew it, your head was being moved out the way carefully and a punch was thrown at the guy's face. you heard a crack of a bone and quickly moved away from the area, running out the man's hold.

it was like an action movie, the man was the villain and the stranger was the hero, and you were the one in need of help. the fight ended with the stranger still standing and the man now on the floor. he wasn’t moving but his chest was still rising and falling. he wasn’t dead although you weren’t sure what was gonna happen in the next few minutes but you weren’t gonna find out either.

“are you okay?” the stranger rushes over to you, sliding off his jacket and handing it to you.

“that won’t be necessary” you chuckle and wave your hand at his jacket.

“please, I insist” he places the jacket around you, not wanted to make you feel uncomfortable by touching you.

“thank you” you look down and smile softly.

“it’s no problem, I could never just walk by if I saw something like that” he smiles gently. “do you want me to walk you home? you know, to make sure you get there safe?”

“uhh… why not” you smile and begin to walk in the direction, he comes up beside you and walks along with you.

you pulled his jacket closer to your body for warmth as you kept your eyes glued to the sidewalk, scarred by what had just happened. you’ve never experienced something that traumatic before. you could’ve been snatched up a while ago if it hadn’t been for the guy walking beside you right now.

“thank you” your voice was quiet in a way it had never been before.

“anytime” he glances over to you, seeing your small frame wrapped in his jacket.

“I really do mean it, if you wouldn’t have been there I don’t know what I would've done”

“yeah, i’m glad I was there too. it hurts me to see things like that happen” he shakes his head. “I wish I could protect everyone around the world,” he breathily laughs. “that’s probably why I want to be a police officer” your ears perked up when you heard that. you looked up at him with surprised eyes and he looked at you nodding his head.

“it’s always been a dream of mine ever since I was a kid. when I read my first comic book I loved everything about it, I knew I wanted to be some kind of hero after that. I wanted my parents to buy me every single superhero costume so then I could feel like that character, with all the powers and stuff.” you breathily laugh at that, he notices and laughs with you. “anyways that’s enough about me, I wanna know about you” he looks attentively to you.

the conversation continues until you got home. you learned that his name was johnny and that he was 25. he grew up in his hometown chicago but his parents are both korean, and he moved to seoul for better job opportunities. you gotta admit, the guy was interesting and you wanted to know more about him, you thought he was pretty cool.

“so… this is it?” johnny stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks up at the house.

“yep” you look at the house and back to him. it got quiet for a few seconds, neither of you wanted to say bye to each other. johnny wanted to get to know you more and you wanted to know him more also.

“listen, I don’t know if the feeling is mutual but I wanna talk to you some more so how about this, I give my number and you get to choose if you want to text me” he offers and you instantly take it up. he smiles softly and enters his number in your phone. once you receive it back you see the name option blank.

“you’re not gonna name yourself?” you cock your eyebrow at him and he lightheartedly chuckles.

“I want you to have free will and set it as whatever you want. I want you to always feel like you have a choice when you're with me y/n” a smile was blatant on his face, allowing the corners of your mouth to pull up also.

“well thank you very much johnny,” you say, staring into his eyes, which seemed to catch the light from the streetlights in a way you’d never seen before. would it be weird to say that you wanted to get to know the sweet guy in front of you more?

“um.. i guess i should get going, it was nice meeting you y/n” his hypnotizing but kind eyes still staring into your soul. you never wanted to part away from them, from him. johnny was captivating, too captivating to let slip through your fingers.

“it was nice meeting you too. see you later johnny” you dismiss him yet his feet don’t move, they stay in place and so does he, looking at you with eyes of fondness. this continues for about a minute before you break the silence/slight sexual tension.

“uh- actually, do you wanna come in? i’m not going to sleep right away, honestly might have some trouble falling asleep” you shake your head, looking down and pretend to find your nails interesting.

“a-are you sure? i wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable-” he seems caught off guard by your words, obviously snapping him out of whatever trance he was in.

“not at all, now come on. i’ll put on a movie and get some food and drinks. it’ll be good” you smile brightly, grabbing his hand without thinking and taking him up to your front door. you unlock it quickly and turn on the lights, stepping into your clean house.

“this is a very nice environment you have y/n” he looks around staying still in his place, nodding his head, seeming genuinely impressed with it.

“thank you, it took a bit of work to get to this point” you chuckle, taking off your shoes and then his jacket. “oh, here you go” you hold the piece of heavy fabric out to him. he utters a ‘thanks’ once he sees it and takes it.

“you can put your shoes there” you point to the shoe rack beside to door. “and your jacket can go there” you point to the coat racket right next to the shoe rack. he doesn’t say anything and does as you say.

“now make yourself comfortable i’ll be right back” you point to the couch and then walk away but not before you caught his eyes. damn those eyes..

“now why did she do that? i swear horror movie characters are so fucking dumb” you roll your eyes and johnny laughs, agreeing with you.

“i mean what would you do in her position” you look at him. the light from the tv illuminating him perfectly. it was dark everywhere else so the only light you had was from the tv.

“i would’ve saved the friend and then booked it not stand there like an idiot waiting for someone to kill me” he looked at you right back, giving you that same look from earlier but his eyes were a bit brighter, filled with joy.

“exactly! so why can’t she do the same?” you sigh.

“y/n it’s just a movie” he chuckles.

“i know, i know but they really irritate me yk? like why stand there knowing damn well a killer is in the house with you i mean it’s-“

“alright it’s time to turn this off” he backs out of the movie, returning to the netflix screen where you started.

“hey!” you look at him with confused eyes.

“you were way too into it, it‘s not good for your blood pressure.” he says and looks at the tv, going through the comedy section.

you kept your eyes on him watching the way his eyes watch the screen attentively. you nibble on your lip, beginning to get lost in your thoughts. he could be your friend, best friend, boyfriend... husband- too far y/n, too far. you just met the guy but you felt like you’ve known him for a long time. you could see him being a potential boyfriend honestly. it’s been a while since you’ve had a boyfriend, really only focused on work. it wouldn’t be a bad idea. johnny seemed nice and he was interesting in a way nobody has been before, you could stay up talking to him and it wouldn’t get boring ever. what if you guys-

“y/n?” his head turns toward you and he catches you staring back at him with your lip between your teeth. he smiles softly and that’s when you are dragged out of your thoughts.

“here” you say out of nowhere making johnny laugh harder than before, his head is thrown back and his eyes are closed, filling the atmosphere with his beautiful laughs. meanwhile, you sat there a little confused and startled, blinking multiple times.

“huh?” you furrow your eyebrows.

“nothing” he waves his hands continuing to laugh.

“yah!” you hit his arm playfully. “i was lost in my thoughts im sorry” you look down feeling your cheeks heat up.

“while staring at me? what were you thinking about?” he says after his laughter dies down.

“uh.. nothing important, what did you pick?” you look at the tv trying to change the subject and you’re thankful that it works.

“that was a great movie, what’d you think?” johnny looks over to you and you nod tiredly, letting out a yawn. “oh somebody’s tired” he says and you don’t know if it was because you were tired but you thought it was cute.

“i enjoyed it and yes i am tired” you lazily chuckle and rub your face.

“alright, i’ll leave-“ he goes to stand up.

“no-“ you say abruptly and grab his wrist and his eyes shift down to your hold on him. “i mean… no you don’t have to, it’s late and i don’t want you going home at this time of night” you checked your phone with your free hand, completely forgetting about your grip on his wrist.

‘4:08 am’

“damn it’s four already?” your eyes bulge out your head and look up at him, his eyes still watching the way your skin was touching his. “you mister aren’t going anywhere, wouldn’t want anything to happen to you” you move closer to him and he notices this. you take your hand off his wrist and interlock your arms, resting your head on his shoulder. maybe it was the sleepiness that put you in this position but you didn’t mind it one bit, too tired to care.

he seemed surprised tensing up almost immediately but relaxing once he realized what was really happening. you were like the little bear that found comfort in the big bear. johnny brushed the extra pieces of hair out the way, how was it that he’d just met you but he felt so connected to you as if you were a lifelong friend he hadn’t seen in a long time. he didn’t under but at the same time, he didn’t want to understand it. he’d rather just let whatever this was flow at its own pace.

“do you think we’re moving too fast?” you say out of nowhere, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“i was just thinking about that and i think we should just let it happen naturally. whatever happens, happens” he says in a sweet voice and caresses your arm gently with his free hand. “if it feels right then act on it right? anyways, that’s the motto”

you move your head to look up at him and nod, intending to catch his eyes and you do. you’re only inches away from each other’s faces, eyes shifting from his eyes to his lips and so do his before either of you knew it your lips collided. johnny holding your jaw between his index and thumb. you wrap your hands around his neck and sit up slowly shifting onto his lap. your heart began to race as you kissed him deeper, johnny too, feeling his heart pumping with adrenaline, moving his hands down to your waist and gripping it. you moan softly against his lips as his hands travel inside your shirt. he felt like pure ecstasy against you. his touch, his lips, his words, everything him felt so good with you.

his hands then slid down to your hips and he gripped them, continuing to kiss you like no tomorrow. he pulls away from your lips, you following his lips for more, and he chuckles; before you knew it his lips were on your neck, pressing soft kisses to it making you moan softly. when his lips found your sweet spot he attacked it, leaving a dark red hickey in that place. you began to move your hips against his, hungry for some type of stimulation down there. his hands fly to your hips and he rests his head in the crook of your neck, letting out soft grunts.

you bite your lip and pull him up to kiss his neck, one of his hands rest on your shoulder. once you find his sweet spot you do as he did and leave a dark red hickey. you pull back and look at it proudly.

“an eye for an eye” you wink at him.

“yeah, yeah” he smiles and pulls your face closer, kissing you again, this time using a bit of tongue. you moan instantly, letting him win and he explores your mouth as your hands glide down his chest, you could feel all of the contours and lines of his muscles and abs, letting you know he was fit. which only made him sexier. your hands slip under his shirt and you explore the area. he was too hot for you to handle, you could pounce on him again even though you kind of already pounced on him. he’s just too hot.

you pulled away abruptly and he looked at you with a confused expression. you smirked and stood up, him still looking at you, obviously confused. he reached for your wrist but you pulled it away and before he could say anything, with the help of his thighs you got on your knees. his confused expression was now gone as he watched the scene unfold, his jeans were so tight against him and you knew that. his hard-on wasn’t small either, it was actually pretty big, you could still see his print though it was dark and you wanted to help him out so you teased him by gliding your fingers up his thighs and then teased his dick by running your finger up and down his hard-on.

“stop t-teasing” he breathily moans, watching your every move.

you smirked, looking up at him and unzipped his jeans.

did you guys fuck? no. just oral sex, that was all you guys agreed to. johnny thought it would be a bad idea to have sex during the initial meet. he said it would be best to give it at least a few weeks. he truly did wanna get to know you some more as did you and that’s why you were okay with not going that far.

you slept in your room after you guys were done giving each other head. you’d given him a blanket to sleep with and a comfortable pillow instead of making him use one of the uncomfortable decor ones on your couch.

“thank you johnny,” you said as he grabbed his coat. you let him stay for breakfast, that you and him cooked together. (he wasn’t going to let you cook it by yourself)

“for what? i should be thanking you. i had fun” he says as he puts his coat on.

“because i had fun too. the most i’ve had in a long time so thank you for that”

“it’s nothing really, i’m glad i could reflect some light on” he laughs and slips his shoes on.

“i hope we could do that again” you hint your fondness toward him.

“of course we can you just gotta let me know. i’m always free” he looks at you with that look once again and you can’t help but let it slip out.

“why do you keep looking at me like that, you’ve been giving me the same look since you met me” you say softly so then it doesn’t one out harsh and you know it doesn’t when he responds.

“because...” he moves closer to you which makes your heart skip a beat. “i actually like you y/n, and i mean it. you’re so different from other girls i’ve met. i’m not just another handsome guy to you. you take an interest in the things i say and the stories i tell you, not many girls do and i thank you for that alone. thank you for listening to me.” he moves even closer to you, grabbing your hands which makes your heart begin to race. “so when i look at you like this, i’m thanking you.” he doesn’t say anything after that continuing to stare deeply into your eyes.

you felt so drunk in the moment, hypnotized by his eyes and soft words. you could already feel how head over heels you were gonna be for this guy, that's if you guys kept it up, which you think you will. the chemistry was way too strong for either of you to let go of.

“thank you” you whisper and he nods gently not breaking eye contact. “you should get going, i wouldn’t want you to be late for work. you still gotta get home in time to change out of these clothes... do you need a ride or?”

“kind of... only if it’s not too much trouble” he answers.

“of course it’s not, come on” you quickly get your stuff on and take him home.

“this is it” he says and you stop the car once you’re in front of the house.

“okay, i’ll see you later” you look over to him and he’s already looking at you. nothing happens for a few seconds but then johnny leans over to you and kisses you. you sigh into the kiss and grab ahold of his neck and kiss him back as his hand rests on your neck, he kisses you just as deep as last night but before anything serious happens he pulls away and lets a ‘text me’ roll of his tongue before he exits the vehicle and walks to his front door, unlocking it and walking inside. all without looking back.

you however, were in complete awe. he kissed you like that and then left. damn was he a good kisser, you could still feel the sensation of his lips on yours even after he was gone. you touched your lips and then smiled, pulling off.

bonus: later that day; the evening

you decide to pick up your phone and do exactly what he said earlier.

you: what was that all about earlier? - y/n

johnny🥰😫: so you decided to finally text me😊

johnny🥰😫: and what was what about👀

you: you know what i talking about. the kiss in the car

johnny🥰😫: you know, it was just a see you later kiss

you: mhm, okay mr. suh

johnny🥰😫: what?😂

you: imma give your ass a ‘see you later’ kiss and then walk away. see how it makes you feel

johnny🥰😫: bring it on then sexy, let’s see what you got

you: oh i’ll show you what i got👀

johnny🥰😫: are we still talking about kissing?😳

you: maybe, maybe not🤷‍♀️👀

NCT Masterlist

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[cheshiresense]

Ok so Im going to take this chance and go wild: GiottoxMukuro + Bad Vongola AU

UM. So, I sort of just sat on this last one cuz what even lmao. I checked AO3 and omg this ship exists??? but there’s like just two fics under it. But alright, here’s my stab at this very random pairing, it doesn’t even quite get all the way to a pairing, but I gave them both page time and at least you gave me something new to try XD Sorry it’s so late.

ALSO YAY I FINISHED ALL TEN

1. Ok so! First thing’s first - how do I stick these two into the same time period? Either full AU or time travel/reincarnation fuckery. Let’s go with reincarnation. Sort of. Where Neo Primo is literally Neo Primo ;)

Tsuna is dead. They’re in the future arc, he’s being forced to take the boss trial, and Hibari suffocates him just a little too long. So Tsuna dies at the feet of his ancestors, and Giotto is forced to witness the death of a fourteen-year-old boy who had never asked for any of this bloodshed but had also never backed down from it, never folded, even under the pressure of so many Vongola bosses. And Giotto is angry. He has spent centuries watching his beloved Vongola become mired in blood and sin, built on an empire of corpses and suffering. He is so sick of it, of not being able to do anything about it, but his latest descendant is dead, and his body is empty of a soul, and in that moment, more than anything else, all Giotto wants is a chance to act, to be something other than helpless, to fix even just a little of what his bloodline has broken.

Will and Flames and desperation are powerful things when combined.

Next thing Giotto knows, he’s opening his eyes to a cold-looking training room, the remains of a cage that killed a fourteen-year-old boy splintering around him, and it barely takes a thought for his Flames to surge up and out and slam the Cloud - Hibari Kyouya - into the far wall with a viciousness Giotto had spent the majority of his first life keeping under wraps. For a split second, he almost kills the Cloud for his gall. A Guardian who could murder his own Sky - however well-intentioned or unknowingly - is no Guardian at all, but then, out of all of the Tenth Generation, as far as Giotto can tell, not a single one of them had had a real bond with Tsuna. The one who’d come closest had been the Mist, but after ten years and the weight of Vongola’s sins on his shoulders, even that connection had dissolved.

If Giotto is honest, the person Tsuna had become ten years later under the crushing pressure of that Sun Arcobaleno and the Vongola had been near unrecognizable compared to the boy Giotto had so admired. But that man is dead, at least for now, dragged under by too many enemies and too many bad decisions, and all that’s left is this younger version, dragged to the future against his will and forced to fight a war of someone else’s making.

Not even that anymore obviously, and all that’s left is Giotto, a bloody legacy to his name and too many regrets to pay for. All he can do is live out Tsuna’s life now and hopefully undo some of the damage Vongola has wrought. Tsuna wouldn’t want him killing this Cloud though, and so Giotto lets him go in the end. Hibari gets to his feet, something bloodthirsty and thrilled gleaming in his eyes, completely ignorant of the fact that he’d killed his Sky, and all Giotto can think as he recalls the way Tsuna had always had to bribe this man for him to even consider helping is how Alaude must be rolling in his grave.

“I’m done,” He says instead, slicing a cool look around the room, and then he walks out, back to his room. Nobody stops him, but Giotto wouldn’t have stopped him either, with the shadow of his Flames licking across the concrete floor.

2. Giotto does his duty. Ten years in the future is far too late to really change anything significant, so the faster he takes care of business here, the sooner they can all go home. In the meantime, it amuses him - in a funny world-burning sort of way - how none of Tsuna’s friends seems to realize anything is wrong, that the boy they profess their loyalty to is gone, and his body has been usurped by an interloper. Giotto considers himself a decent enough actor, but for a bunch of Flame-actives with Vongola rings on their fingers and Guardian titles to their names, they’re a rather oblivious lot.

(All of Tsuna’s past and present and future sits in his memories now though, and Giotto can’t say he’s terribly surprised. The person these children wanted to follow was never actually the boy Tsuna had been, not entirely. They pay attention to the parts of him that they like, and ignore the rest like they don’t exist. It infuriates Giotto, because Tsuna deserved better, but Tsuna is dead, and even if Giotto has every intention of at the very least demoting them from their Guardian positions once they’re finished here, he cannot truly harm these children Tsuna had called friends.)

So he does his duty, fights the battles people want him to fight, and smiles blandly back in the face of Reborn’s suspicious glances. That hitman at least can sense something is off, if only because his student no longer cringes or screams, but no one save the Vongola bosses knows the details of what happens in the Vongola Trial, and it’s easy enough to balance Reborn’s misgivings with that.

It’s fun though, messing with the pseudo-baby. The last time Reborn tried to shoot him awake in the morning, Giotto had set the entire room on fire and ended up singeing off Reborn’s sideburns. The resulting training session had been grueling, but it had been worth finally getting back at the man first responsible for more or less browbeating Tsuna into obedience.

Pettiness aside, Giotto does put effort into training. Tsuna’s body is in decent shape, but it could be even better, so Giotto does his best to make it so. The weapons of the future are something of a marvel too, and he smiles indulgently at the full-grown wing-adorned flame-pelted Leone di Cieli that gracefully leaps out to greet him, but in the privacy of his rooms, he lets his Flames swirl free and summons the phoenix that had been his constant companion in his first life, the soul of his Flames, his will made sentient.

“Natsu,” He names the lion, after Tsuna, and welcomes Persephone home as she does a sweep of his bedroom before landing light and delicate on his shoulder, the way she’d always done in battle.

The looks on everyone’s faces when they see her with him is enough to make Giotto smile for the next week.

3. It becomes clear soon enough that they’re going to need all hands on deck for the final confrontation against Millefiore, but even before that, Giotto begins asking some pointed questions that Tsuna had thought but hadn’t quite been brave enough to ask.

“When are we getting my Mist out of Vendicare?” He enquires one night over dinner, and smiles pleasantly as everyone freezes. “We require all the aid we can get, yes? And Mukuro has always been strong.”

“Jyuudaime!” Hayato is the first to burst out, chair skidding back with how emphatically he stands up. “We don’t need that bastard!” Giotto looks at him, not a twitch in his expression, impenetrable as ice even as he keeps his features soft, and Hayato falters. “Or- Or even if we do, he can just possess Dokuro! He can’t be trusted if we let him out!”

Giotto stirs more sugar into his coffee - rich and sweet, gave G a minor aneurysm every time he saw it - just the way he likes it. “So we make him serve, and offer nothing in return?”

Giotto waits out the confused spluttering around him. Reborn is drilling holes into the side of his head but he pays the baby no mind.

“He has been imprisoned for ten years,” Giotto continues in mild tones. “And has remained loyal all this time, si?” He glances briefly at Chrome, the younger one, who stares back, meek and mute. She is loyal to Mukuro above all others, and it would’ve been so very easy for him to influence her into betraying Vongola - betraying Tsuna - anytime.

That he hadn’t, in all this time, is… something. It’s something. The lingering threads of a frayed potential bond. The stubborn refusal to give up something he’d once perhaps considered his. A promise once given - keep my people safe and you will have my allegiance - and never broken, not by Mukuro.

People have often remarked on how similar the First and Tenth Generations are. Personally, Giotto has never seen two sets of people so different.

“I wish to free him,” He says at last, over the voices of those trying to convince him otherwise. “Loyalty deserves loyalty returned. Whatever else he used to be, he has bled in my service for ten years. Surely that is enough to justify his release?”

It is not a question, and everyone knows it. Reborn is all but glaring now. He doesn’t like this new Tsuna who does not cower even in the face of his bullets.

Giotto is spiteful enough to enjoy every moment of it.

It is Takeshi who relents first. “Okay,” He says, all easy agreement and assessing eyes, and maybe this one at least is not so far removed from Ugetsu’s blood after all. “But how are we gonna do that? Vendicare’s hard to break into, right?”

Hayato - the only mafia-raised of the lot - looks positively horrified. “It’s not hard, Baseball Freak, it’s impossible!”

“But Mukuro already broke out twice, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Giotto interjects, smiling at Takeshi, who preens a little under the attention and is in some ways possibly the most insane of them all. Giotto does have a fondness for those who consider laws as guidelines at best. “So, I suppose we need a Mist.” He takes a gulp of his coffee. “The Varia has a new one these days, don’t they?”

Three conferences, five one-sided shouting matches, and a hefty sum of money transferred over to the Varia accounts later, Giotto has secured Xanxus’ partly baffled, mostly irritated agreement for Fran’s services. Fran turns out to be a rather… precocious young man, but he has Mist Flames and skills that almost rival Mukuro’s, and Giotto is relatively content to leave the breakout to him.

His confidence is not misplaced. Days and half a dozen more battles later, with Byakuran grandstanding across from him, Giotto’s entire ill-fitted, misfit Family is gathered, and the First Generation appears at Giotto’s silent command to unseal the Vongola rings.

(All of them know what he is, the soul peering out from behind Tsuna’s eyes. But in this one moment, not even Daemon gives him away, and Giotto is free to finally unleash his carefully controlled wrath on the Family that had decimated his.)

Millefiore doesn’t stand a chance.

4. “You are not Sawada Tsunayoshi,” Mukuro - the older one - says in deceptively light tones as he joins Giotto on the balcony. It’s late, the night before they would all finally return to the past, and the two of them are probably the only ones still awake.

“No,” Giotto confirms, because there’s no hiding it from this man. “I’m afraid Sawada Tsunayoshi perished in Kyouya’s Box Weapon when he and Reborn attempted to force a Vongola Trial.”

Mukuro, staring out at the sprawling woods before them, does not visibly react, does not even move. For a moment, it doesn’t even seem like he’s breathing, and that’s what gives him away.

Giotto does not say he is sorry. He is, for this, and for too many other things to list, but whatever connection had formed between Tsuna and his Mist had been lost a long time ago, and sorry only sounds trite in the face of such a travesty. The only reason Mukuro had never drifted away, Giotto suspects, was because the Mist had refused to let go. Mukuro himself would never admit it, perhaps never even acknowledge it to himself, but if there was one thing Giotto had always envied Tsuna for, it was his ability to earn a Mist’s devotion so completely.

(And so it had hurt all the more to watch the years go by as Tsuna allowed Vongola to convince him to leave Mukuro in Vendicare. Hurt most of all to realize, one day, that Tsuna no longer cared so long as Mukuro continued reporting in and doing as he was told.)

“What will you do with my younger self?” Mukuro eventually asks, carefully void of every emotion save for the thinnest veneer of detached interest.

“Free him,” Giotto replies promptly, seeing no need for word games here. Reborn had tried to interrogate him about his Vongola Trial, and Giotto had given him every answer but a straight one. It had been highly entertaining. “If he wishes, he will have a place in my Famiglia. If he does not, then I will ensure he is able to start a new life elsewhere with his people, without Vongola dogging their every step.” He pauses, absently considering his hands, more solid than they’ve been in four hundred years. “Even Tsunayoshi’s fear of Reborn was not enough to stop him from asking repeatedly after you. This is the least I can do for your younger self when Tsunayoshi worried about him so often.”

Mukuro scoffs, a hollow puff of air that fades to nothing. “Had he a few more years in him, you would’ve had nothing to concern yourself with.”

Giotto inclines his head in acknowledgement but says nothing more. There is probably no one who knew Tsuna - who fought him and lost to him and understood him - more than Mukuro. The Mist doesn’t need Giotto expounding on the rise and fall of one of the brightest and most short-lived Skies the world would ever see.

“You will not tell the others about me?” Giotto asks instead, more curious than any kind of anxious about it.

Mukuro tips a mocking facsimile of a smile in his direction, looking him straight-on for the first time since his arrival. “What business is it of mine, if Vongola wishes to destroy itself?”

Giotto half-smiles, half-grimaces. He supposes this is hardly a surprise either; it was never Vongola that Mukuro swore unspoken fealty to.

So instead, he reaches out, gently catching one of Mukuro’s hands in his own and knowing he can only because Mukuro allows it. Mismatched eyes watch him like a hawk, a derisive curl on his lips that freezes when Giotto presses the flickering heat of a piece of Sky Flame into his palm.

Then he steps back, once, twice, enough room to sketch an esoteric bow, too formal for this age but recognizable enough here and now if Mukuro’s sharp intake of breath is anything to go by.

Gratitude. Apology. And a dissolution of debt and duty between Guardian and Sky.

If Mukuro so wishes, even after Giotto is gone, the shard of Sky will ensure a clean break from Vongola, and not even Sawada Tsunayoshi will be able to track his former Guardian down. It is all Giotto can offer him.

He straightens, glancing at the piece of Sky now settled into the shimmering form of a phoenix feather. A new life, if Mukuro wants it.

He meets the Mist’s gaze. Mukuro is the first to look away, fingers curling around the feather, eyes on the horizon, and he doesn’t speak again.

Giotto nods, takes his leave, and he does not see the Mist again, not this version at least. Once time straightens itself out, the adult Tsuna of this universe will return, and while Millefiore is no longer a threat, Vongola - and its Decimo - will still be the same stagnant bloodstained mess.

There is nothing Giotto can do about that, but at the back of his mind, he wonders if it wouldn’t have been better after all to have let Millefiore wipe Vongola out.

5. Later, much later, after a jailbreak and Daemon and a broken curse, Giotto and his Guardians - still no bonds, but he can’t seem to find a good time to get rid of them, so maybe instead of that, he can educate them to be better - sit down for a Family dinner at the most upscale banquet hall Namimori has to offer, with the Ninth and his men, the CEDEF and even Varia. They’re in public so everyone has their law-abiding citizen face on, but (a redo of) the Inheritance Ceremony is imminent, and Timoteo smiles, sly and pleased that all the pieces have finally fallen into place. He waves Giotto into the seat on his immediate right and doesn’t even question how very little Giotto resembles Tsuna these days, ascribing the changes to Reborn’s training and recent battles and growing up, and looking no further than that.

The food is good, Italian but cooked by the best chefs on Vongola payroll. Giotto stares Kyouya into grudging silence over the fare, and then he focuses on chatting amicably with Timoteo, weaving smooth flattery into casual but attentive conversation the way he’d learned to do a lifetime ago.

Giotto watched Timoteo grow up. There is no skeleton in his closet that Giotto did not witness him stashing away. But he is old and past his prime and he will soon learn that his successor is not as easy to control as he’d hoped, as he thinks, so Giotto can smile back now and give him his momentary triumph, smile and sip his wine and not let his eyes linger on every bite of food Timoteo takes.

During a lull in the conversation, he turns and catches Mukuro’s eye. His Mist is seated beside his female counterpart, all the way at the end of the line, farthest from his Sky to any outsider’s eye. But Mukuro smirks back from behind his cloth napkin, and as the Nono’s dessert is carried in, the faint twist of Mist Flames - unnoticed by all except two - darts into the panna cotta.

Timoteo eats his fill, compliments the chef, beams at Giotto’s gently filial fussing again like the kindly grandfather he excels at pretending to be, and nobody thinks to question how masterfully Giotto draws all attention to himself and his rowdier Guardians, never letting the generally jovial mood falter, his Sky Flames a subtle pulsing encouragement beneath it all to distract them from the knife at their backs.

The whole affair is a success. At the very least, nobody threw any food, no fights broke out, and no one lost their tempers. It almost feels like a miracle.

They part ways in groups, and to their credit, Hayato and Kyouya only try to kill each other after the elder Vongola party is gone. It doesn’t take long for Ryouhei to join in, and at a glance from Mukuro, Chrome scoops Lambo up and picks up her pace to catch up to a laughing Takeshi.

Mukuro falls into step beside Giotto. Giotto had asked, after the Arcobaleno business was finally over, if Mukuro would stay. Mukuro had asked what Giotto would offer if he did.

“A place in my Family, for you and yours,” Giotto had sworn. “And a hand in toppling the Vongola Empire once and for all.”

Mukuro had smiled, ten years’ worth of another world’s memories behind it, and six lives’ worth of suffering driving his answer.

“Tsunayoshi would never have chosen this method,” Mukuro says now, voice pitched low but as idly as if he were commenting on the weather.

Giotto smiles, grim and long past the point of any return.

Tsuna was his favourite. He reminded Giotto of the man he used to be, when Vongola was still a goal wrapped in optimism and determination, before they’d become embroiled in the mafia and Giotto had spent the next four hundred years after his death watching his life’s work build itself a throne of corpses.

Tsuna was his favourite, but he was also an ideal Giotto won’t ever be again, and cannot be if he truly wants to see this iteration of Vongola dead in his second lifetime. Tsuna would’ve been eaten alive by Vongola - Giotto had seen an entire future’s worth of proof of that.

“I am not Tsunayoshi,” Giotto says, and it is another regret he will have to carry, but their world is neither kind nor fair, and Tsuna as he was would never have survived it.

Mukuro studies him, a thoughtful tilt to his head, and something like fascination glitters in his eyes. “No, you are not,” He agrees. “But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

Giotto glances at him, then ahead, at children who had almost killed and been almost killed mere days ago, now roughhousing amongst themselves. “The world could do with more Tsunayoshis.”

“The world needs more of you,” Mukuro retorts just as swiftly, a sardonic sort of amusement in his smirk. “In that other future, Tsunayoshi proved beyond a doubt that everything he promised, he couldn’t keep, didn’t he? And yet here you are, Vongola Primo, poisoning your enemies over dinner, and just yesterday you had me hide you while you met with Gesso and Simon and Giglio Nero in private. You certainly don’t waste any time.” His smirk widens. “If Vongola isn’t careful, you’ll turn half of Europe against the older generation before they realize it.”

Giotto hums and doesn’t deny any of it. “You would be willing to aid me though?”

Mukuro arches an eyebrow, and his right eye flickers briefly with Mist Flames. “Have I not been doing so already?”

Giotto nods. “Yes, and I am grateful. But lending a hand now is not the same as devoting at least the next ten years of your life to a goal most would consider impossible. And I am not Tsunayoshi.”

Mukuro’s steps slow, then stop entirely. Giotto blinks and halts as well, half-turning.

“Does that matter so much to you?” Mukuro asks, peering at him with surprisingly genuine puzzlement. “Do you think it matters so much to me? That you are not Tsunayoshi?”

Giotto half-shrugs, and Mukuro shakes his head. “Tsunayoshi had a heart that I will never fully understand,” He says, blunt in a way he almost never is. “He was naive and foolish, hopeful and soft, and it made him as weak as it made him strong. I could trust him to never turn on Chrome or Ken or Chikusa, even if they or I tested his tolerance, but by that same logic, I could never have trusted him to stand firm against Vongola’s ideals, no matter what he proclaimed. And I was right, wasn’t I? In the end, Vongola destroyed him, and he became one of them.”

He pauses, his gaze sliding away, hands coming together to twist one of the rings on his fingers. Then he looks back at Giotto, and his next smirk is equal parts challenge and approval. “You though. You have witnessed the results of letting your previous Mist Guardian walk free, and spent years watching your descendants commit atrocities in the name of strengthening your organization. If I were to promise you my loyalty, and then betray you sometime down the road, you would slit my throat yourself. But at the same time, at least I know - you are both ruthless enough and determined enough to see your objectives through to the end, with a conviction that’s centuries in the making. The current Vongola would have to kill you to stop you.” His right eye flares indigo again. “So I suppose that is where I come in.”

Up ahead, the others turn a corner, still bickering. Giotto thinks Takeshi has probably noticed that he and Mukuro have fallen behind, and of course Chrome knows, but neither of them stops to wait either.

Mukuro steps back, once, twice, and Giotto’s eyes widen as the Mist lifts a hand to brush over the earring he hasn’t stopped wearing since he got it. And then… well.

The Mukuro from the future must’ve known how because this Mukuro doesn’t even look awkward as he drops to one knee and bows his head, just a dip, slow enough to look deliberate, proud enough to meet Giotto’s gaze again afterwards.

“You asked for ten years, Neo Primo,” Mukuro announces. “So, very well, I will pledge you ten years of my life, for you to use as you see fit, so long as you keep your word. We can revisit this in a decade, but for the next ten years, I will make you untouchable to your enemies and sow discord amongst them in your name.” He smiles and it’s a mad and bloodthirsty thing, the same furious hateful beast he’d aimed at Daemon Spade when he’d sought to rip Chrome from Mukuro’s side. “And should the worst come to pass and I go the way of my predecessor, may my life be forfeit at your hands.”

He reaches up, catches Giotto’s hand in his own, and his red eye glows as orange and indigo burst into existence between their fingers, a blaze of light under the night sky as they twine together, fierce and unyielding and true.

They both gasp from the surge of power that rushes through them as the Guardian bond snaps into place, the first one Giotto will ever have in this body, the first one in over four hundred years, a core of Flame that promises a home, something Daemon had never been able to give him, and Giotto doesn’t even think before he’s yanking Mukuro to his feet and reeling him close.

Tsuna had been short for his age so Giotto isn’t quite eye-level with his new Mist, but it hardly matters when he curls a near-bruising grip along Mukuro’s jaw and sees the same hunger and possessiveness he feels reflected in the illusionist’s eyes.

“A Guardian bond is not something I take lightly,” Giotto murmurs, and he knows even without a mirror that his own Flames are burning in his eyes. “You are mine now, and I do not share. In ten years, you will pledge another ten, and another ten after that, and any who dare to try and take you from me, I would run rivers red with their lifeblood.”

(These oaths are old, old and binding and near-forgotten, bastardized ten ways to Sunday but still echoing of power, and even in Giotto’s time, only G and Ugetsu had sworn them. That his new reign would begin with one, when as far as Giotto knows, none have spoken them in centuries - perhaps it speaks of the dawn of a new age.)

Mukuro inhales shakily, not at all prepared for the sheer depth and intensity of a true Flame bond. But the grip he has on Giotto’s wrist is just as tight as Giotto’s, and it only takes him another breath to regain his bearings.

“As you Will it, Giotto,” Mukuro murmurs, and it crackles over Giotto’s skin. No one has spoken his name since his resurrection.

The bond settles between them, calm now but no less potent. Giotto lets go, tickling a tongue of Sun-tinted Sky Flame along Mukuro’s skin to soothe the sting left behind. Mukuro only huffs a breath of laughter, gaze still unwavering on Giotto’s face.

“Well then,” The Mist - Giotto’s Mist - smiles, quieter, more serene, like a glass-spun secret cloaked in shadow, but exultantly bright all the same. “Long live the new King. May your reign be long and prosperous.”

[finn-ray-nal-beads]

I’m so excited for all of the unnatural travesties we’ll get from you tonight around the dumpster fire of shame!!! How about a Fuck Marry Kill, but with a blurb on each one of course, for Captain Blowhole, This is Sparta, and I’m Your Huckleberry!

Unleash the shame and crack!!!

@safarigirlsp YOUR MIND IS SO DEPRAVED AND IM ALWAYS LIVING FOR IT!😂 

GET READY FOR THE WILDEST RIDE A YER LIFE DARLIN’! 

FMK WITH THE CRACK AU’S: CAPTAIN BLOWHOLE, THIS IS SPARTA, AND OF COURSE.... HUCKLEBERRY 

FUCK: CAPTAIN BLOWHOLE 

Flip loved the sea and all its sea-crets (i hate myself) it held. Yes he grew very fond of you as well, keeping his cock nice and warm every night while you wailed on top of him. His balls never felt so light as his cum stayed nice and safe in your slick folds at all hours of the day. But if there was one thing he detested more than death, it was marriage. 

He never felt like he was the committed type, leaving you to question all the progress you’d made on his salty heart. Finally settling with what this all really was in the end, a quick fuck and forget. 

You hated the idea of being a pawn in his game, cursed him for it every time he entered your pussy, but the hate-fucking made it more exciting than anything in the entire ocean. 

You soon grew to enjoy being his own personal pet of sorts, him using you as his personal cumbucket whenever he needed to relieve his frustrations. 

Never once muttering the words commitment once you’d figured out his triggers. The one night you did resulted in a night spent in the barracks with the crew, grabbing at your clothing, shredding it to pieces as you cowered in the corner, kicking their grubby hands from your skin. The mutual relationship was enough to get you out of the stuffy town you’d grown up in, full of drunks and homeless buccaneers, taking even more advantage of your beauty than Flip had already. 

At least he was handsome, and well-endowed in just about every department you could think of. You craved the adventure, the smell of the salt in the sea, the wind in your pretty locks as you trekked the world with the Jolly Roger. 

Getting fucked into oblivion every single night, eating gourmet dinners, being gifted with all the treasures of the Seven Seas, even participating in a battle or two amongst the rivaling pirate ships. It was perfect. Being his personal pocket pussy was just enough to keep you satisfied. 

MARRY: THIS IS SPARTA 

The wedding would be short and sweet. The entire village present as the nuptials of the two most beautiful people in the community were to be finally joined with the Gods blessing their union. 

You were draped in the finest silks your family could provide, the white illuminating your skin in a halo of glitter as you walked down the path to the steps of the temple. The grin plastered on your warrior rivaling Zeus himself as he watched you glide down the aisle, carrying a bouquet of wildflowers in your delicate fingers. 

You hid your face under a sheer veil, a small crown adorning your head as he was clad in his full army gear, including the Spartan helmet which covered his precious nose from your view. 

He and you were only able to remove the garb when the officiant blessed the marriage. You traipsed up the stairs, grabbing the majority of your silks in your free hand as you came to his place on the marbled floor. 

He held a large hand to which you took, both of you gazing into one another’s eyes as you waited for the end of the ceremony. 

“Phillip,” the senator pronounced, “will you uphold the will of the Gods to complete the duty to your country, as well as your commitments to this woman you’ve chosen to be yours?” 

Flip turned his head from the minister, to gaze into your precious eyes, smiling before he answers slightly above a whisper, “I do,” a chorus of javelins hitting the ground as the warriors in his guild were present in their full gear to witness their leader wed. 

“Y/N,” the senator turned to your direction, “will you uphold the will of the Gods to complete the duties to your country, as well as your commitments to this warrior you have been blessed with to be your betrothed?” turning your neck back to face him as his amber eyes swirled in your brain. 

“I do,” hitching a breath as you released the anxiety that had built up throughout the day of getting prepared for him. 

“Then it is the will of Zeus and Hera to bless this sacred union in holy matrimony,” he pronounced to the crowd of hundreds gathered, “you may seal your duties with a kiss,” gesturing for the removal of your coverings. 

He let go to remove the golden helmet, his ravened hair falling over his face in curls as he fixed himself enough to remove your veil. Your beauty shimmering in the light of day like a beacon, the smile on your face rivaling Aphrodite’s gorgeous stare. 

He pulled you to him, gripping the back of your head to tilt it to his face, embracing your lips in a searing kiss. The movements only increasing as the crowd signaled their agreements with the union, cheering and stomping their feet while throwing flower petals into the air in celebration. 

Yes the wedding would be short, but the reception would last days. The people dancing in the streets over your love. Women weeping as they watched their only chance with Flip fade away as you both gazed into each other, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. 

“I love you my muse,” he whispered by the lit bonfire surrounded by dancers, celebrating your marriage. 

“I love you too my strong warrior,” running a finger along his jaw as he leaned in to give you another kiss, your tongues laving over each other as you both fell into each other’s embrace. 

KILL: IM YOUR HUCKLEBERRY

“Phil!” you screamed, tied to the bed of the truck in a spread eagle pattern, naked as a jay-bird in the cool night. 

“Fuck! Phillip! I’m gonna kill you!” crying out as your empty pussy puckered from the breeze that blew over the Colorado Springs plains. 

You heard a deep chuckle roll from the side of the truck, the flick of his bic lighting a cigarette that he blew smoke out from your peripheral, “aw darlin’, don’t promise somethin’ ya can’t keep,” a grunt leaving his lips as he lifted a spurred boot on his tailgate, the motion causing the entire bed to shake. 

“I said what I said,” spitting a wad to smack on the leather of the shoe as you shivered in the cold, “there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it, cowboy,” arching an eyebrow at the smirk that landed across his face again. 

“Oh, sugar,” he cooed, lifting his entire weight on his tailgate, pulling the knots on your ankles to make sure they still held up from your writhing, “there’s a million things I could do about it,” pressing a spur to dig into the flesh of your thigh, the metal causing you to wail out in pain as it drew the slightest bit of blood. 

“Just fuck me already you son of a bitch!” gritting your teeth to sand as he dug further into your perfect skin. 

“Hold the fuck on,” he growled out, sucking the last of his filter as he lowered to your mound, watching your hole open and close from the bite of the air, “last time I checked, brats like you don’t get anything they want,” running his free hand over your slicked up folds, a hiss leaving your mouth as you felt his gritty fingers touch your pretty pussy. 

“You’re such a goddamn slut,” snarling as he lowered the burning end of his cigarette on your other thigh, ashing it on your delicate epidermis. 

“Motherfucker!” the pain unbearable as he pushed the ashes into the welt, “Flip! Goddamnit!” a gush of slick dripping down to your asshole as you cursed his name into the night. 

“I know ya like the pain, whore!” spitting into your open mouth as he grabbed the trail of wetness and rimmed your puckered butthole with his thumb. 

“I’m gonna,” you winced out, moaning as he pushed his digit into your ass, “I-I,” losing yourself in the feeling of his other fingers filling your gaping cunt, coaxing them to close in on them like a finger trap. 

“You’re gonna what, sugar?” taunting as he watched your head roll back in pleasure, “you’re gonna kill me?” he chuckled again, watching you unravel on his fingers. 

“I don’t think you’re gonna do anything, baby doll,” feeling your walls close in on him as he brushed your G-spot, “in fact, I think you’re gonna cum all over my hand... like the fuckin’ slut you are,” cooing with his Cameled breath as he watched you come closer and closer to bliss. 

“You’re gonna cum,” he demanded, “and you’re gonna do it right now, Y/N,” growling out as he ran his free thumb over your aching clit, sending you into a frenzy of euphoria, the pressure built up so much from all of this causing you to release your spend in a stream that coated the entirety of his large hand. 

Yes, you were gonna kill him, but not until after he made you cum a few more times tonight. 

HO-MY-GOD IM EXHAUSTED FROM THIS BUT I LOVE ALL OF IT WITH ALL MY HEART. THESE AU’S KILL ME IN THE BEST WAY!

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

@theeyethatbinds​ Girl SING IT. SING IT LOUDER FOR THE GIRLS IN THE BACK, SWEAR TO GOD.

Like I’m gonna be real wit y’all I was looking forward to le Comte for a while, but I was always side-eyeing Jeanne. He’s a blunt hermit and grump and 100% mood, so I hoped his route would give me more insight into how I feel about him.

Ladies. When I tell you. It was EXCELLENT. I mean there are so many gr9 routes in the game, I don’t want to take away from them, but there was just something about his that hit me so hard???? (MY KOKORO BROKORO)

More under the cut since his route won’t be out for a little while (we still got Isaac, then Theo, then Jeanne), as a little treat. As usual, pls don’t read if you don’t want spoilers, thanks!

Okay so going into this route I was fully expecting the big sads. I mean, if history has taught us anything it was that Joan D’Arc was a badass but good lord, that doesn’t mean the people of her time were kind to her. (I need to do more thorough research on her, so if I’m getting any of her pronouns wrong or neglect something, I do apologize.)

That being sad, I was like aight DECK MY SHIT WITH TRAGEDY, JEANNE. And at the beginning it’s p fascinating. He’s very ornery and resistant to any kind of consideration or attempts at friendship MC extends. But eventually, after a good deal of persistence, he relents little by little.

I’d also like to level with y’all for a sec. Being someone who knows a great deal in regards to the kinds of mental and emotional shit Jeanne struggles through, I think they handled that part of the route so, so well. Granted, I’m not the kind of person to launch a crusade over different writing styles--but for me it just feels all the more poignant when it makes sense; when certain dispositions or trauma are conveyed with that depth. To me, it made 100% sense that Jeanne would be so against accepting other people into his life immediately.

He and Mozart vibe because they’re so similar, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s comfortable letting just anyone in--much less a complete stranger. I think it’s more that Mozart and Jeanne share a kind of indelible bond/mutual recognition through their talent, actually. They were both prodigies, absolute geniuses in their fields (military vs. music) but their social skills were shot to hell for the very same reason. To be brilliant--beyond one’s potential posthumous legacy--tends to mean being hated. Plus, they’re both principled to absolute extremes. When they’ve decided on something, they will not waver. They’re stubborn and austere, but behind those walls lies a molten core of sensitivity.

This is important to understanding him, I think, before I move forward.

While one could argue that their reaction is a result of that deficiency of emotional and social support (which I entirely concede does contribute to the matter at hand, it shouldn’t be overlooked) I think the real crux of the matter here is control. Think about it. Among the oldest residents in the mansion (let’s say that were born more than 100 years within the range of the present period of the game) are Mozart, Jeanne, Isaac, and Shakespeare. What do they all have in common?

Extremity. For Mozart, it comes in the form of a kind of OCD, as perfectionism. For Jeanne, it is generalized anxiety and PTSD. For Isaac, it is primarily social anxiety--but it’s still noticeably severe. And Shakespeare runs around with a knife, insecurity through the roof, literally unable to trust anything or anyone (psychosis? schizoaffective? I’m really not sure, these are all ballpark assessments based on the evidence I have). In order to adjust to their new surroundings, there was a cost--and in some ways their coping mechanisms become noticeably maladaptive. They were born into eras that were mercilessly unpredictable, and the only way they knew how to cope was to was to either take the blame--make it a personal failing that tragedy struck--or try to immerse themselves into their craft. They all seek to regain some kind of control (this is even visible in Vincent, to a degree--painting was an escape from his emotionally turbulent world).

Granted that’s not to say that the others don’t struggle with such issues at all, I just feel like the characters from more unstable time periods tend (as a general trend) to mirror that instability within their personalities.

All that being said, (I apologize I am a tangent-monger and love meta), Jeanne’s self-imposed isolation is only partially caused by the above dynamic. Yes, he is unwilling to let people into his heart for fear of betrayal. (It’s almost like an entire nation clamoring to watch you burn for something you didn’t do after spending your entire life and talents trying to protect them would do that to you, but I digress >:| ). But there’s another devastating and potentially less obvious reason for keeping people out.

He thinks he deserves it.

Loneliness, melancholy, aimlessness. These are all the punishments that he incurred on himself after a life of what he conceives to be considerable sin (hahaha battlefield enemies go ripppp). Whether or not he was operating purely out of a sense of duty, even if he felt sympathy for his enemy combatants, it’s not enough. And the condemnation of his king, of his entire nation, only served to magnify that self-loathing to a dangerous degree. (Don’t get me started on his parents I’m still so angry >:| they more or less disowned him since he was constitutionally weak as a young boy, and thus could not serve as an adequate farmhand. Don’t work? Don’t eat/live).

It’s hard enough living in a reserved way because you’re afraid of getting hurt, but to think that you deserve it when hurt finds you, no less? And my favorite part, that he’s so profoundly sure that it is an extension of a personal, fundamental failing? That for a person to survive, they must be strong, that there can be no other way--that there is no time or space for ruminations on fairness or unfairness, there are only those who manage to survive and those who die.

Now my friends, esteemed comrades, legendary sluts. Is that enough for us, Cybird asks, are we feeling enough pain quite yet? Fuck no.

Most of his route after we get over the hurdle of his hesitation is just him. Being. Bashful and gentle as all FUCK. Like he is the definition of “I'll kill you, but also I’m babie.” For instance, she insists on teaching him how to read and write at night when she finds him trying (and not succeeding) to read “The Ugly Duckling”. Yes I mean the children’s book. I CRIED THE FIRST TIME AND I’M CRYING NOW. So, naturally, MC buys him a notebook to practice with and he puts his name in big letters on the front. When MC sees this, she asks him about it--wondering why he would given he’s so self-conscious of his own writing (boy writes all squiggly like a little kid because he’s never done it before ;-;).

The scene goes a little something like this:

MC: Wh....whatcha go there Jeanne? Jeanne: ? My notebook? MC: I...mean that you wrote your name on it? Jeanne: Yeah? MC: Why? Jeanne: ._. It was a gift from you, and I figured it'd be hard to practice if I lost it...so I put my name on it... (HE WAS SECRETLY TOUCHED I BET AND IM--) MC: Why such big letters? Jeanne: So people can spot it quickly, obviously MC, inches from crying and laughing: Jeanne: Mademoiselle??? Why are you laughing? MC: Because you’re cute, Jeanne!

Like. They start out so rocky and Jeanne is so SIGH. I guess I’ll agree if it’ll get her to stop looking so sad and ask me to join her for stuff. But then he just can’t help but go full softe at how patient and kind she is, starts feeling comfortable just...being who he is deep down. A man that’s always hoped for better in life, a person that only ever takes up his sword to protect--that has an incredibly pure and clear heart, despite so much pain.

And good lord, they are GOD TIER romantic slow burn???? Swear to everything holy, I was BEGGING for them to make out by like chapter 10, I was just suffering for most of the route until the bangarang premium. Here’s probably my favorite moment in the entire route:

Basically Sebastian and Mozart pull out all the stops trying to bring Jeanne and MC together (once they see Jeanne show some interested in her). And so Jeanne asks her to join him in the courtyard the next morning, and they’re playing with Cherie (Jeanne’s pet baby white tiger). Besides being ungodly adorable--because Jeanne invited her for the sole purpose of hoping to see her delightfully surprised--Mozart begins to play a love song nearby. They don’t name the tune, but Jeanne canonically starts singing along (I wholeass cried, I WANT TO HEAR HIM SING????). And so she asks what the song is about, and he explains that Mozart once played it for him, but he couldn’t make out the words at first. Mozart explained that it was a love song that speaks to the difficulties of being in love (the worry, the strife) but also the beauty of the intensity and passion. He goes on to say that even when he learned the words, it never made much sense to him back then--it never resonated.

He’s singing softly with a fond look, and so she asks, does he understand it now? And he looks her dead in the eye, and says “...I think I’m starting to.” Like. AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT LOSE MY MIND AT THE TENDERNESS????? WHAT A SMOOTH MOFO????? MAN RAISED TO BE A SOLDIER, NO KNOWLEDGE OF ROMANCE OR WOMEN, AND KILLS ME IN MILLISECONDS?????? I DEMAND JUSTICE. (Or it’s just me thinking sincerity is the best aphrodisiac, but that’s beside the point.)

This has been your quarantine 2d boy meta and yelling, provided by your local mod Minnie. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to get to the things I’ve been procrastinating on while reliving/dissociating about one of my favorite rts in the entire game. Stay safe and well out there y’all, peace out!

[faunusrights]

The scarlatinas are a big family with aunts and cousins visiting a lot right? Have you got an idea of how their house looks? (also could you release the Scarlatina family descriptions you gave me to the public?)

well, really the scarlatina family isn’t big in the, uh, family tree sense; it’s not like Velvet has 100+ cousins and that sort of stuff, but they’re big in the sense that they all live together, hjdshkjfsd. so it’s a big household! sixteen people! it’s nothing to sniff at! so the aunts and cousins dont visit, really, because they literally live next door, lmao.

the scarlatina homestead is split into two houses that keep getting added to every once in a while. the bigger one (aka the first) has georgette, rajah, taffeta, ash, chiffon, velvet, satin and hickory live there, whilst the second (rapidly growing) house has cotton, tenné, hawthorn (+ hawthorn’s wife, saffron, and their kid, fir), ramie (+ her wife, auburn) and birch. that said, the houses pretty much act as one, and people tend to drift in and out of either of em at will.

the houses are similar in terms of their footprint, since they sorta both evolved abt the same time for the same needs (oh shit a kid oh shit a marriage oh shit ANOTHER kid), and save for two smaller second storeys for storage/spare room needs, almost the entire thing is on the ground floor (heat rises, baby). they share a big old shed/workshop which ash lingers in CONSTANTLY, as well as two little gardens where they grow their own produce. they also have some solar panels and a huge windmill out front, both of which usually power their houses since they don’t typically draw a TON of energy, though they do have a generator that runs on fuel as a backup.

okay if we’re describing the whole family im gonna shunt this under a cut this goes on for a while dsfjhgjhskfgd

GEORGETTE SCARLATINA: the matriarch of the family! well, sorta; she’s let her own daughters sort of have run of the place in her stead, because she’s “retired” now and that means she mostly sits back and enjoys not Working all the time. back in her heyday the woman was an absolutely powerhouse, 24/7 on the grind, but even now she’s very… well, she’s still a force to be reckoned with, really, and whilst she isn’t uuuuuuuh Strict, per se, she’s very disciplined, and no matter what her kids and grandkids choose to do, she expects them to really throw themselves into it. weiss is both terrified of her and desperately wants her approval, which isn’t hard to get, but weiss is, how they say, dumbass. georgette is also the reason why taffeta and cotton are… Like That. like what? stubborn loud fuzzy taking zero shit, etc,

RAJAH SCARLATINA: scarlatina women seem to always land themselves timid men and nobody is sure how, or why, but georgette wasnt the first to start this trend and shes def not the one to end it. rajah is pretty mild-mannered, but like georgette, never rested when people needed help. he and ash (and tenné) get on real well because they’re happy enough to mind their own Fuckin Business whilst their wives barrel around with all the grace of rampaging bulls. still, rajah’s also very much a product of his time as an early settler to menagerie; he’s never really… happy with everything, because they lost so much leaving for this shithole, so he’s always kinda… mildly sad about stuff, but the same can be said of any faunus his age tbh.

COTTON SCARLATINA: the older of the two Scarlatina Daughters, cotton is… manic. full of energy, always looking to burn it off. she’s an optimist at heart since she and taffeta came to menagerie when they were ten and therefore are more accustomed to the island, and her primary objective is making a good home and a good start for the family. she’s not too interested in politics or revolution, mainly because she’s the type of woman who plans by meals and mouths to feed, if u get me. she’s also pretty smug because her side of the family are rly growing up (TWO wives. a GRANDKID. its ALL COMING UP COTTON) and it means she gets to spend more time doing stuff she’s passionate abt!!!!!!! nice!!!!!!!!

TENNÉ SCARLATINA: i put an accent on his name and i regret it every day of my life. anyway. tenné isn’t entirely sure how he ended up with just The Most scarlatina, but he did and, well, there’s no backing out now. tenné‘s a deer faunus and was around cotton’s age when he and his family moved with the scarlatinas to menagerie, so he and cotton have always been close. he’s very patient and doesn’t always have a lot to say, but he and cotton are a great team when it comes to managing the entire homestead together. again, he’s not a political type, and just wants to keep his corner of things safe in uncertain times. he always pretty rarely leaves the homestead for anything, so he’s also kinda reclusive, but so is cotton! it all works out!

HAWTHORN SCARLATINA: i won’t go into the partners lest i Die but hawthorne is the eldest child of cotton and tenné. got antlers like his da, and he’s a pretty big fellow by scarlatina standards (that is to say, not thin enough to fly away in a stiff breeze). hawthorn is… well, long and short, he’s a himbo, but he’s also a pretty devoted homesteader (this is a trend! watch this space). his wife, saffron, was from desert sands and they’d been dating for a While before they got married, and they’re the first to have kids of all the first-gen* scarlatinas. he’s got cotton’s love of the family and tenné’s sort of quiet offset nature, though he was pretty rowdy as a kid (he grew out of that once velvet broke his nose tho).

RAMIE AND BIRCH SCARLATINA: twins! twins! oh my god! twins!!! fraternal twins!!!

ramie is the older of the two (my friends who were w/ me when we played the RWBY ttrpg will Remember Her) and she’s. well she’s surprisingly enough like taffeta that cotton jokes that clearly she’s gone and had the wrong kid. she’s very Firm abt things and has a way of naturally corralling people to follow after her, if only because this bitch has enough common sense for herself and, like, five people. she was also voted Best Lesbian Cousin five years in a row, and she and auburn get on like a house on fire. they’re also very into PDA, don’t mind them.

birch is the younger of the two and ramie always calls them the emo one. they’re not really so much into people as they are into their crafts and their plants (their bedroom looks like a greenhouse dont mind them) and they have tenné’s nature and georgette’s focus on working all the goddamn time. they’re good company is you strike up convo in the areas they have interest in, but sometimes it’s like talking to a brick wall. ramie is very fluent in their noncommittal grunts of disinterest, though.

FIR SCARLATINA: he’s one year old. he’s a baby. idk shit.

TAFFETA SCARLATINA: here’s the bitch we’ve all been waiting for

taffeta is like georgette if georgette was somehow more like herself. whereas the other half of the family are more core to the values of the clan, taffeta’s a tribe woman, and when she wakes up in the morning her focus is always on the wider community. taffeta’s very much just a machine of intent; she farms, she builds, she repairs, she trades, she gives, she travels, she does SO much and she’s very much the face of the family at present (which is why ppl hear the name ‘scarlatina and go ‘oh god’ w/o realising the other half wont bother u even slightly djsfggjsdfh). she’s STURDY she’s FLUFFY and she has zero qualms abt putting u in a headlock if u deserve one. dont test her. that said, taffeta’s a very reasonable woman; i’ll eventually go more into that at some nebulous point in the future hdjsgfjghksfd

ASH SCARLATINA: it’s everyone’s favourite da! i’ll TRY and keep this short. ash (MUCH LIKE THE MEN SO FAR) is just. so chilled out. can everyone PLEASE be quiet. well, he didn’t used to be – ash lived in kuo kuana before meeting taffeta and had such severe anxiety abt crowds that the boy could barely put a sentence together, let alone much else, not in the scarlatina household, he’s very calm and hard to ruffle. ash really just likes to do his thing, which is everything taffeta doesn’t do; he cooks, he watches the kids, he fixes stuff in the workshop, and he’s big into photography of the family, which is where velvet gets it from! ash is basically taffeta’s counterbalance, but being with her means he’s also become pretty well known about the town (if not for. entirely the reasons you think,)

CHIFFON SCARLATINA: the eldest of ash and taffeta’s kids! chiffon is a weird one; she takes a lot after ash in that she’s pretty reserved and doesn’t let a lot bother her, and when stuff does bother her, she expresses it pretty quietly. also, unlike her cousins who are all homebodies, chiffon was the first kid to actually leave the homestead for kuo kuana to work on the docks during a biiiig overhaul and extension of the boardwalk. she wanted to get out and see the world, but human tourists really out her off the idea, so after about a year and a bit she ended up returning home where she’s stayed ever since. after taffeta retires, she’ll probably be the next face people know and relate to the name scarlatina, tbh.

VELVET SCARLATINA: do i. do i have to say anything about her. you KNOW this bitch. anyway. velvet’s got taffeta’s stubborn sense and ash’s compassion, wants to travel like chiffon, has enough determination to just keep going when it gets her down. extremely stupid. herbo energy. trans jock. has fists will punch. fluffy. fuzzy. hot. dumbass. seriously, do i have to say anything else?

SATIN SCARLATINA: it’s a baby! just kidding, she’s 11. satin is pretty young but she’s at that age where she’s tryna figure out the world for herself. she’s already shaping up to be a lot like taffeta – bold and brash and determined – and much like her older siblings, politics is already playing into her interests. satin really wants to see vale and her tribelands, but after what happened to velvet at uni, taffeta’s trying to… well, not talk her out of it, but encourage her, gently, to reconsider. it’s not working. she and chiffon get on spectacularly well, and she and velvet get on ever better.

HICKORY SCARLATINA: okay, NOW baby. well………. okay, yeah, he’s 7. hickory is a little dreamer, never really in the present. he’s super into making stuff and helping out the adults around the homestead, and he’s not really noticed enough to be infuriated like satin, so he’s got that youthful, uh, innocence, let’s say, that means right now? life is GREAT! eventually he’ll find out that no, it’s not all that great, tbh, but right now he’s a champ at feeding the rabbits, pulling up veggies, and finishing his plate. good job hickory!

AND THAT’S THE FAM (save for the inlaws). theyre great and i think abt em all the time. could u tell? could u tell, sharkie,

*so i looked up the whole ‘generations’ thing to check if i was right and it turns out both first-gen and second-gen have incompatible definitions (thanks america) but for the sake of not going nuts, all of cotton’s and taffeta’s kids r first gen and fir is second-gen. u could also argue cotton and taff are first-gen on account of being pretty young when they came to menag but honestly it’s too complicated. lets just leave it at that sdfjhgksdf

[tillman]

hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now . 

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69 

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66 

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man.  i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways 

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place 

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with! 

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people 

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow) 

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king..................  4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot!  hes a pyromancer.  being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though! 

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please ! 

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot! 

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch! 

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss. 

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

 SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser 

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG! 

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves! 

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her! 

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work! 

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

 CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all. 

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!) 

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS.  he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy! 

and finally.

its patches.

[billyboyblue]

Sorry. Fluffy. 16. Stucky!!

Thanks so much for the prompt! I hope i did these boys justice. 

Stucky~ The thought of losing you scared me

***

Steve couldn’t help himself from watching the rise and fall of Bucky’s chest. It was steady and deep from sleep, and something about the hypnotic ebb and flow soothed something deep in Steve. It was a habit he couldn’t seem to break, not that he’d even been trying. Not really. 

Waking every night before even the first vestiges of light was so common an occurrence that it was now his sleep cycle. 

Having Bucky back was the greatest gift he could have ever believed possible. A person could only receive so many miracles in their life, right? A man could only hope the pain of loss would only lessen in time. But to have been given his life back,to be given Bucky back, was an unfathomable blessing, that he’d now received three times over. 

The days and months after the victory over Thanos, were a scramble of recovery, mourning and reconstruction. The earth was saved, the universe was saved, but all Steve could see through the rubble of ruin had been Bucky’s exhausted face. His tired smile and quiet ‘Stevie’. Made the wonder of the victory finally sink. The wave of euphoria had been enough to make him fall to his knees, face buried in Bucky’s shoulder, crying tears of relief, of sadness, of mourning. 

Almost a year later and still Steve found himself waking before the birds and the dew just to watch the life affirming vision of Bucky asleep, happy, safe. his hair was as short s before the war. cropped and buzzed usually but the long locks of winter were shed months and months ago. Steve had been so taken aback by the sight of Bucky leaving the bathroom nine inches of hair shorter. 

The change had made Bucky look younger, softer, freer than he had since they had found each other again, and although he’d seen trepidation in Bucky’s eyes as he revealed a new look. His gruff chuckle as Steve lifted him and spun him around, like a cheesy romance movie was the sweetest sound Steve had heard in years. 

“You keep staring at me and you’re gonna use up all my pretty.” Bucky spoke up, eyes still closed and breathing unchanged but smile half blooming on his lips.

“Impossible, been staring at you for a hundred years and your mug is still prettier than mine.” Steve answered, smiling as he settled back down, wrapping his arms around Bucky, breathing in the undefinable scent of Bucky and pressing a kiss to his nape.

“Well its not like that’s hard.” Bucky mocked as he settled back into Steve’s chest, hands twining with Steve’s.

“You’re a bully. Here I am, declaring your beauty to the gods and you mock me. 

“Hmm, what you were doing is checking to see if I’m still here instead of getting some shuteye before Clint’s barbecue. You know he asked us us to help set up the bouncy castles? Castles, plural!”

“Please, I know you volunteered as soon as he mentioned one of Laura’s cherry pies as reward.”

“Oh, you heard that did you?” Bucky asks, unrepentant. “im not sharing with you. I love you Stevie, but that pie is too perfect.”

“Yes I heard it, and you can keep the pie you baby.” Steve said with a chuckle. “And its fine really, Nat wanted me to swing by the compound to pick up some of the new kids. Apparently she promised them a Cap day if they passed their training.”

Bucky snorted, “Right, Nat promised them.”

“I may have given her the idea but it was her idea to make it today. Get them feeling the team love as fast as possible I guess.”

“Tony’ll be thrilled. Did you hear him last week going on and on about the spider-kid’s graduation and full ride? He’s completely obsessed with getting those guys in fighting shape.”

“Mmm, well you know Tony and retirement are barely acquainted.” Steve said, breath whisping Bucky’s nape.

“Yeah, i guess.” Bucky’s voice was deepening in sleep but his hands stayed tight around Steve’s. “So what’s got ya up at ass crack?”

“Nothing really, promise,” Steve assured when he heard the doubtful grumble from Buck, “Just like making sure your here.”

“I’m here Steve, I ain’t going anywhere.”

Steve didn’t want to point out that Bucky had said those words before. So many times. Steve though, even after a century of knowing better, knowing that those kinds of promises were dangerous to make and futile in the end, believed Bucky without hesitation. 

“I remember when you got me off that table in Europe Stevie. I remember the sound of your voice that night when you showed me who you were now. Who you had become while i was a thousand miles away. And the one thing i remember the most was the thought of losing you scaring me to my bones.”

“Losing me?” Steve asked surprised. “But, you-”

“I wasn’t worried about me, punk. seeing you in that uniform a foot taller, was one thing. Seeing those men follow you into the worst fights of their lives because of the faith they had in you, well that was another thing entirely. I remember staying up some nights after the others conked out and watching you sleep. Trying to find the boy i left behind in the man in front of me. Feeling in the pit of my stomach, that somehow, I’d already lost you.”

“Buck-”

“It’s okay, it was my own hang up and it took me long enough to find you again after the train that nothing could make me feel like your right here. That your hands are right here, holding me, keeping me safe, keeping me loved.” Bucky, tapped Steve’s hands to loosen and turned in the circle of his arms. “So it’s ok Steve, if you need to wake up and watch me, kiss me, fuck me, to know that I’m right here, that i will never walk into a fight without you by my side. then you so that. You deserve to know that your world is safe.”

Steve’s eyes burned as he stared into those baby blues that made Steve swoon way back when, and he knew the world would keep for another day, and that all he had to do was keep it wrapped in his arms.

[master-sass-blast]

Decisions, Decisions.

Hi. Welcome to angst.

Summary: You join up with part of the X-Force and Frank Castle, alias the Punisher, to rescue a group of mutants being trafficked to Hell’s Kitchen. Things go wrong, however, when you get shot in the leg and wind up having an episode during the mission.

Rating: M for mentions of gun shot injuries/injuries in general, swearing, and angst. Lots of it.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader and Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson.

@marvel-is-perfection

(Side note: Frank Castle is my new hyperfixation. HOLY SHIT HE’S SO HOT. I don’t have any fics for him planned any time soon, but yeah. Jon Bernthal is a snacc.)

“Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what seems so obvious in hindsight.” -Judy Belmont.

“--but that was before I back-flipped over the crocodile pit--”

You snort as Wade dives deeper into his latest story about a hit on a zoo manager that had participated in the distribution of child porn, and try --again--to get the band-aid you’ve been fiddling with for the past two minutes to apply to your elbow without sticking to your fingers. “Okay, you’re making this up.”

Wade makes a noise of fake offense and places his hand on his chest. “You dare to suggest that would hyperbolize the latest and greatest tale of my prowess as a mercenary?”

“You hyperbolize burning toast in the morning.”

“Well, see if I share my snacks with you ever again!”

“Oh yeah, I’m so worried about not having access to your shitty fruit snacks --for fuck’s sake!”

“Is everything alright?” Piotr, in his X-Men suit and in full armor, treads into the kitchen with an expression of concern.

“Oh, yeah. I’m just having trouble with this fucking band-aid is all.”

He chuckles and walks over to where you’re positioned at the counter. “Let me, moya lyubov’.”

In that moment, two things happen.

First, Piotr gets the band-aid onto your elbow on his first try. The fucker.

Second, Nate walks through the back door, trailed by--

Wade lets out an excited gasp. “Spank Me Daddy! Fancy seeing you here!”

Frank Castle, alias ‘The Punisher,’ closes his eyes, makes an expression of barely concealed annoyance, and turns on his heel. “Nope. ‘M out.”

“No, you’re not.” Nathan catches Frank by the back of his jacket and yanks him into the kitchen. “I put up with him on a daily basis; you can manage for one job.”

“You’re crazy enough to date ‘im. That’s the difference.”

“What’s going on?” you ask, frowning. You knew that Nathan mentioning a job meant that he was placing another part of his plan to save the world into place, and that he had teamed up with Castle before if a mission happened to put them on the same path, and that if Nathan came to the X-Mansion it was because he needed the X-Men’s help--

But ‘job’ plus Frank Castle --of all people--plus the X-Men?

You couldn’t figure out how it all fit together in his head. Frank’s self-appointed tenure as the Punisher set him at pretty heavy odds with the X-Men’s no killing rule, and you were pretty sure a man like Frank wouldn’t hold any appreciation for the X-Men’s strict adherence to that rule --not all that different from Wade, all things considered.

“There’s a team of human traffickers that have been running between Europe and the States,” Nathan explains. “They’ve a got a shipment of mutants coming in tonight, at one of the docks in Hell’s Kitchen. We’re heading in tonight to make sure they get rescued in good order.”

“Okay,” you say slowly before pointing at Frank. “And you’re joining in because?”

“He owes me a favor,” Nathan says with a smirk.

Frank rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. “Only way I’d ever get within ten feet of Wilson.”

“Aw, Super Top, I’m hurt!”

You do your best to hide a grin --and fail, if the look that Frank shoots you is any indicator--and nod. “Alright. When do we leave?”

“I am not sure this is good idea,” Piotr says, ever the advocate for caution. “Hell’s Kitchen is entirely different game than most of us are used to working. We would be out of natural element --not to mention that things would likely devolve into senseless violence.”

“You really gonna look me in the eye and tell me that a few traffickers are worth keeping around?” Frank growls.

Yupp. Just like Wade.

“I am concerned about safety of my team. I am well aware of your reputation, Mr. Castle. You have extensive history of high collateral damage.”

“So does Wilson, but you let him live here. You got a point?”

“Domino’s already agreed to join in, as has Wade,” Nathan interjects before a nastier argument can break out. “All we were looking for is for your’s and Y/N’s help.”

Piotr frowns. “Again, I am not sure that is good idea.”

“Don’t want to get your hands dirty by doing some actual fucking work?” Frank asks, brow arched and expression unimpressed.

“They’ll need one of the jets to get everyone evacuated quickly,” you say before Piotr and Frank can start arguing again. “And if you’re there to break open whatever’s being used to carry the trafficking victims, the job’ll get done that much faster, which means less chances of unnecessary deaths. Plus, if I go, I can do some high altitude reconnaissance; that’ll help everyone be that much safer.”

Piotr’s frown doesn’t lift. “Moya lyubov’, I still disagree. Even though you are using good logic and reason, Hell’s Kitchen is entirely different beast. I think it would be best to stay clear.”

“Babe--” you reach out and latch onto one of his hands, steel cool to the touch against your skin “--we’ve done stuff like this before. It’ll be alright. Besides, there are people who need our help, and I can’t look away from that.”

He considers, mouth pressed into a tight line, then relents with a sigh. “Khorosho. But only to make sure you stay safe.”

You squeeze his hand --which isn’t much of a squeeze since he’s armored up, but the sentiment of the gesture remains unchanged. “Everything’s gonna be alright, big guy. You’ll see.”

It’s a --thankfully--warm summer’s night as you fly over the dock in question, high enough that you won’t be seen.

It’s easy enough to see the group of men at the far end of the dock. Just like Nathan said, there’s a crane offloading a few small shipping containers from an unmarked boat, setting them onto semi trailers while men holding assault rifles watch the process and the docks.

On the far end, closest to the city, you can see Nathan, Wade, Piotr, Neena, and Frank working their way through the maze of shipping containers already stacked on the concrete pier.

“How’re things looking?” Neena asks.

“They’ve got three containers offloaded and on the trucks so far. I can see about fifteen different guys, but I don’t know if that’s all of them or not.”

“I guarantee it isn’t,” Frank growls under his breath over the wireless headset system you’re all hooked into. “No way these assholes are leaving the ship empty while they’re offloading.”

You hear Piotr mutter something under his breath in Russian that you know --by now--means he’s lecturing Frank on his language, and smirk. “Yeah, well--” There’s a loud crack, and you yelp as a bullet whizzes past your elbow. “Shit! What the fuck!”

“Myshka? What is it?”

“Fuck, I’ve been spotted. I--” Before you can finish your sentence, something that feels like a fucking school bus hits you in the leg, knocking you back. You can feel air rushing past you, whipping your hair around, then let out a scream when you realize you’re falling. “Shit!”

The air current you whip up keeps you from splattering into a pile of goo, but the landing is still none too gentle.

You groan, gasping as you try to push yourself upright. Your entire right leg is screaming with pain, and you can hear the cacophony of worried voices in one ear as the sound of gunfire hits the other.

“Y/N! Myshka, where are you? Are you alright?”

You push yourself into a sitting position, crying out in pain as you sag against the metal wall of a shipping container. You place your hand on your aching limb, as if that would numb some of the pain, and your stomach churns when your palm comes away wet and warm.

Blood. Dark, dripping, warm--

“I’ve been shot,” you wheeze, hand shaking as the shock starts to set in.

Nathan swears in your ear. “Get to a safe place. Get back to the jet if you can.”

“I got hit in the leg; I can’t fucking move!”

“I’ll get her,” Neena says over the earpiece system.

You can hear the traffickers shouting, footsteps smacking against the concrete as they track you down.

You’re also suddenly aware that the wind is whipping around you, nearing gale forces despite the completely clear skies.

When you look up, there isn’t another graffiti covered container sitting in front of you. Instead, all you can see are thick stands of trees.

“Fuck.” Your head’s spinning from pain, panic, and blood loss. “Guys, I’m--”

“I know, kid,” Nathan grunts. “Try to stay calm. Domino, stick with us. Wade, go get Y/N.”

Memories, the present reality, and black spots all swim in your vision. You’re shaking from head to toe, hissing with pain every time you jostle your leg. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck-

A man carrying a rifle walks around the corner of one of the shipping containers.

You don’t have time to think or call for help. All you have is one insane ‘Hail Mary.’

You close your eyes and let the episode take over.

You come to in a hospital room.

Not one of the clinic rooms in the X-Mansion, but an actual hospital room; white walls, fancy monitoring equipment, special bed, the whole nine yards.

You grimace as you swallow at the dryness in your mouth. Your body feels heavy, like it’s been filled with lead, and your head feels like it’s been stuffed full of cotton balls.

You manage to loll your head to the side and see Piotr snoozing in the chair next to your bed. You try to say his name, but only manage to make yourself cough.

He wakes up anyway, coming to with a sharp inhalation of breath that’s followed by an adorable snort. He lurches forward, rubbing at his face, then fully comes awake all at once when he sees you peering at him. “Myshka. You’re up.”

The amount of reverence and relief squeezed into those three words nearly makes you cry. You try to shift towards him, reaching for him.

“Nyet, nyet, nyet.” He gets up quickly and sits on the edge of your bed. “You need to stay still. You were very badly injured.”

You swallow on nothing again and grimace. “Can I have some water?” you croak.

“The nurse said you could, but only few sips.” He picks up a styrofoam cup with a bendy straw poked through the lid and holds it for you. “Little sips. No gulps.”

You do as instructed, taking a few baby sips to alleviate your parched mouth and throat. “What--” you cough again “--what am I doing here? How long have I been out?”

“You lost...” His face strains with grief and concern, and it takes him a couple minutes to get his composure back. “You had episode, and lost great deal of blood. We had to bring you here for surgery.”

“But the healers at the mansion--”

“You almost died on the jet,” he says quietly. “Twice. We... we needed experts. Resources beyond what the clinic has. Professor Xavier’s family helped build this hospital; he sent us here.”

Once again, the Xavier fortune opens doors. “How long have I been out?”

“Only about... twenty-seven hours. Once they got you stabilized and sewn up, the doctors said your recovery was likely.”

You nod, then lift your hand to his cheek. “Are you okay?”

He sighs, and takes your hand in his so he can press his lips against your fingers. “I am now.”

Another twelve hours pass --most of which you spend sleeping, thank you painkillers--before anyone else shows up.

You’re watching TV when Piotr walks in, vase of flowers in hand, trailed by Nathan and Wade. “Cable and Deadpool are here.”

You file the use of the merc names away for further review; you’ve known Piotr for a while now, enough to know that he uses formalities as a way of keeping polite distance between himself and people he’s unsure of or uncomfortable with.

Or, as you suspect in this case, keeping a wall between himself and the two people who are most likely taking the brunt of his anger.

You smile up at them anyway, happy to see them and that they’re in one piece.

“How’re you doing, kid?” Nate asks as he sits at the foot of your bed, squeezing your blanket covered foot affectionately.

“All things considered, not too bad. I can’t feel a damn thing because of the painkillers, I get pudding with every meal, and I have de-facto control of the TV remote.”

“Living the high life!” Wade nods his approval. “Can’t say I’m not jealous.”

Piotr opens an envelope holding a small card and hands the card over to you. “From Mr. Castle.”

The inside is mostly blank, save for a few lines of heavy-handed print.

Sorry you got caught so hard in the fray. Glad you’re alright. See you around.

You can’t help but smile a little at the artless courtesy. “Well, that’s nice of him.”

“The world’s most fantastic dom and he understands the basics of social etiquette,” Wade chirps. “What’s not to love?”

You chuckle --and Nathan smirks and rolls his eyes--but you can’t help but notice the line of tension in Piotr’s shoulders.

You can tell he’s holding back the urge to send both men packing, to take control of the situation and protect you from... from whatever it is he thinks you need protecting from.

You make a mental note to commend him for his restraint --and interrogate him about what’s got him so upset. For now, you’re just going to sit back and enjoy Wade’s antics and your painkillers.

You’re released back into the care of Xavier’s a few days later, with very strict instructions for what you can and can’t do, and a rigorous physical therapy list.

You don’t have to wear a cast, fortunately, but you’ve been assigned to a wheel chair until further notice. It’s the middle of summer, and you’re off all training and missions until further notice, which leaves you with an assload of nothing to do.

And, with all your free time, you wind up thinking. A lot.

You haven’t really ever had an opportunity to make yourself into something. Growing up, your parents had controlled every single facet of your life. You hadn’t had hobbies, hadn’t had friends, hadn’t had freedom. You’d barely seen anything outside of your family’s house, save for church on Sundays and your mad dashes for freedom that always ended with someone dragging you back to your prison.

You hadn’t been anyone back then. Just a shadow of existence, trying to survive in a vacuum.

You’re someone now. You work as a teaching assistant during the school year, train with the X-Men, and occasionally help the X-Force with missions. You draw, play video games, cook, and do whatever strikes your fancy or curiosity. You have a family, friends, and a partner that you love from the top of your head to the bottoms of your toes.

But if you can’t get your episodes under control...

No. That’s not the right way to look at it.

The trauma that’s shaped you --and whatever’s happened to your brain that makes your episodes manifest the way they do--is a part of you. It doesn’t define you, and it isn’t you, but it’s still a part of your life. Even if you can get a diagnosis, there isn’t going to be some magical pill that takes everything away.

You’re always going to be at risk of having the episodes; maybe not as much as you are now, definitely not as much as you were before therapy, but it’ll always be there. It’ll always be a variable in your life.

There’s still a lot you can do, but running missions? When you’ll be in the thick of a fight, when you’ll be surrounded by your friends and family, when you won’t have the option of a safe room and careful reintegration to keep you and everyone else safe?

Piotr kisses the top of your head, jolting you out of your reverie. “It’s time for next dose, dorogoy.”

You smile at him in thanks, take the painkillers and eat the protein bar he’s holding out to you, and pat on the deck couch cushion next to yours. “Come sit with me, big guy.”

He does, careful not to jostle you. “How are you feeling?”

“Bored.”

He chuckles and kisses your temple. “It will all be over eventually.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve, uh, actually been doing a lot of thinking. About my future and shit.” You take a deep breath when he makes a noise encouraging you to continue, and spit out what’s been on your mind for the past few days. “I don’t know if I can do missions anymore. Like, not from an injury standpoint, just, like... at all.”

“Why is that?” he asks after a moment of processing, unfailingly calm.

“I kinda realized... the episodes are never gonna go away. I don’t mean that I won’t get better,” you say quickly when he opens his mouth to affirm you and build you up. “But they’ll always be there. A background possibility. I mean, diagnosis or not, there’s not gonna be a magic bullet for it. Even if we can get them to go into remission, there’s still always the chance that something’ll trigger one.”

Piotr nods hesitantly. “You’re... you are not wrong.”

“Well, I mean --I lose total control of my powers. I’m a danger to others and to myself.”

A truth that had been grotesquely, painstakingly illustrated to you in the aftermath of the most recent series of incidents. Not only had you been shot, but you’d nearly destroyed your vocal cords and lungs from the screaming you’d done. The healers had ended coming to the hospital mid-surgery, just to help stabilize you.

Not to mention the trafficker’s you’d disintegrated during it all --and some of the victims that had been accidentally crushed.

Because there were always casualties. Always.

“I’m a liability to others, no matter how well I learn to control my powers or how much therapy I go through. No matter what diagnosis and treatment I do or don’t find. That’s... that’s always gonna be there. And... and it’s pretty clear we can avoid most of... of whatever triggers it here. Or in regular life. And that, with the safe rooms and the fact that I’ve gotten better at recognizing when one’s coming, I can be around people without being a risk to them or myself.”

Piotr nods. “Agreed.”

“But missions... it’s harder to avoid the triggers because I can’t control the environment. There aren’t any safe rooms. I just...” You let out a ghost of a laugh. “It’s not rational, Piotr.”

“That is also very true.”

“But... I like doing missions. I like being the good guy. A hero. I like helping people. I really like kicking ass.” You grin when he chuckles. “And, I mean, isn’t it true that we’re all one step away from snapping? That any of us could lose it, or lose control of our powers? I mean, I’ve made it through missions without episodes, on and off the serum, so does that mean I shouldn’t throw away all of this over one bad mission?”

Piotr stares out at the lawn and puts an arm around your shoulder as he ponders your questions. “I think that is only something you can decide. You are right that any of us could lose control --many trainees do at some point. And you are right to be cautious in regard to the nature of your episodes and the technical --likely--permanence of them.”

“Yeah.” You grimace. “There’s no real easy answer to this, is there?”

“Nyet. I imagine this will take great deal of consideration on your part. But, I believe that whatever you decide will be the right choice.”

You smile, touched, and let your head rest against his shoulder.��“Thanks, babe. I love you.”

“And I, you.”

You sigh, contented. “Man, Wade is going to be a pain in the ass while I’m in this wheelchair. He’s already threatened to leave things on high shelves just to torment me.” You frown when you feel Piotr tense and look up at him. “What? What’d I say?”

His mouth quirks to the side as he rubs at the back of his neck. “About that...”

“You’re leaving?”

As it turns out, you haven’t been the only one thinking about big decisions. During your recuperation at the hospital, Wade and Nate had decided to move out of Xavier’s and into a location that better suited their needs as mercenaries --and better support their views on how to handle the world.

Code for the X-Men finally had enough Wade and Nate’s morally gray ethics and gave them the boot, you think as you gawk at the duffel bags and boxes sitting by the front door.

“For once, I’m with her!” Scott says, just as shocked as you --albeit for entirely different reasons. “Nathan, you belong here with us. Not with --with--”

“Where I belong is with my partner,” Nathan growls, emphasizing the word ‘partner.’ “You kick Wade out, you kick me out. End of story.”

“Nathan, you’re not thinking rationally.”

“Yes, I am. As much as I can respect what you do here, it’s not what I stayed behind to do. I have a mission, and if I’m going to succeed I need to be able to work outside a strict set of rules.”

“Look, if this is about the whole gay thing--”

“It’s called bisexual, Scott. I suggest you get used to saying it.”

“I don’t have a problem with it, I just don’t understand why you’d shackle yourself with... with...” Scott gestures to Wade haphazardly. “That!”

Nathan goes deadly stiff, techno-organic eye flaring as he glares at Scott. “‘That’ has a name. I suggest you use it.”

“Ooh,” Wade says when Scott flinches. “Do that again, Nate.”

“But --you!” Scott sputters.

“This isn’t up for discussion,” Nathan says, voice heavy with finality. “Now, I’d appreciate it if you left. I need to talk to my kid.”

You tilt your head back to watch Scott go. “Damn. That was impressive.”

“You learn it pretty fast while fighting a war.” Nathan kneels in front of your wheelchair. “You gonna be okay?”

You nod, chest suddenly tight with emotion. “Yeah. I always am --or find a way to be.”

The corner of his mouth lifts in a grin. “That’s the spirit.” He hugs you as best he can. “Love you, kid.”

You sniff. “Love you too, Dad.”

Wade groans when Nathan steps back. “I hate good-byes. Do we have to do this?”

You don’t even try to blink back the tears welling up in your eyes as you reach for him. “C’mere.” You wrap your arms around his neck when he bends over, stretching as much as you can without standing. “I’m gonna miss you.”

He squeezes you carefully. “I’m gonna miss you, too.”

“You better visit.”

“Well, who else am I gonna watch Nailed It with?”

You squeeze him one last time, then let go so he can pick up his duffel.

You and Piotr walk --well Piotr wheels you out, but the sentiment is the same--the two men out to Dopinder’s cab, and watch until the cab pulls away and drives out of sight.

He kisses the top of your head and hugs you when you start crying. “It’ll be alright, myshka.”

And it will be. Despite the pain, you know everything’s gonna work out. You’ve got your friends, your family, Piotr.

You’ve got yourself. You know who you are, what you’re doing, what you’re about.

You’re gonna make it just fine.

[sodapopstyles]

the girl

calum hood x reader

I cannot explain the love i have for this song (or for calum) ps. i miss blonde streaked cal

11:30 pm: are you still calling tonight?

12:23 pm: cal i’m sorry but i can’t stay up any longer :-(

12:45 am: i hope you had a good time performing and im sorry i couldn’t be there! be safe tonight i love you

Calum felt like proper shit. Not only because of the amount of alcohol he had consumed at the club last night (how many shots had he taken last night?), but also because he had broken his promise to you. He knew something was wrong from the second he woke up (and it wasn’t just because he was 30 minutes late to an important band meeting) and saw a few texts scattered over the course of last night on his phone. Sure, you didn’t sound upset in your texts, but Calum knew you. He knew you’d probably stayed awake for a little while longer, checking in with the boys to make sure he was okay, because that was the kind of person that you were. In a world of give and take, you had only ever wanted to give.

He had promised you days ago that he’d call after the concert last night, especially since it was your two-year anniversary, but the promise slipped his mind at the mention of free drinks and karaoke at a club nearby. Calum swears he didn’t mean to forget; he just got busy was all. And he was busy this morning too—which was why he still hadn’t responded to your messages. He was currently supposed to be helping the boys write some new songs, but how was he supposed to do that when he knew he totally fucked up? He knew that you were probably an anxious mess right now, thinking that you had done something to make him upset. So now his phone was burning a hole through his jeans pocket, and all he wanted to do was talk to you; tell you it was nothing you did, he just…well, he just was a piece of shit. His mind was a mess of what-ifs and scenarios of you leaving him (rightfully so, he was an absolute dick after all), and all he could think about was how he had passed up a night of talking to you for a damn club. He was hit with a sudden fog of missing you, and he excused himself to go to the “bathroom”, where really, he went to the quietest room he could find. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he quickly dialed your number and put the phone up to his ear, his gaze falling to a chipped piece of tile on the floor. He toed it nervously, hoping your sweet voice would coo through the speaker. It rang once, twice, three times—then went to voicemail. God, he fucked up.

“Hi babe—I uh, I really need to talk to you. Call me when you get this? I love you.” Clicking the red end call button, Calum ran his hand through his hair, his body slumping against the wall. Guilt flooded his veins when he thought about you waiting for a call that never came. His fingers tugged at the ends of his dark hair, frustrated with himself. Maybe it didn’t sound like that big of a deal, but you deserved more than the world, and he couldn’t even give you half of that.

There was no way in hell that Calum was going to be able to concentrate on song-writing right now, so he slid down the wall into a more comfortable position. He tugged on a loose thread around the rip in the knee of his jeans and aimlessly scrolled through the various social media apps on his phone. His eyes were glazed over as he watched the thousands of pictures scroll past on his Instagram feed, not really paying attention to the actual pictures. He had just stopped scrolling, deciding to switch to another app, when the picture that he had stopped on caught his eye.

It was a picture of you and Duke together, the puppy curled up against your side. Calum stared at the picture, noticing it had been posted an hour ago. But the caption. The caption was what made him suck in a breath, his heart stuttering painfully in his chest.

Even my phone misses your call, by the way.

It hadn’t really been that long since he’d called you, right? He quickly pulled up his phone log, not really believing that it had been that long since the two of you actually spoke on the phone. His heart dropped when he looked at the date of the last phone call. It had been over three weeks ago—over a month since there had been any real communication between the two of you, minus a text here and there. Calum quickly dialed your number, praying that you would pick up. But again, one, two, three rings—and then your voicemail. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He really was the worst.

How had the time slipped that far past him? How could he have forgotten about you? When he left, he had promised you that he’d always come back to you no matter what. That he loved you, and he’d talk to you as much as he could. At first, there was a phone call every other day. And without realizing it, those every other day calls turned into once a week calls, and then tapered off into nothing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard your giggle, or your adorable sleepy voice, and the way it would get soft and syrupy before you were about to fall asleep. A dark wave of loneliness suddenly crashed down on him, threatening to swallow him up whole.

You were his best friend, the person he could share anything with, and he loved you. Oh God, he loved you like a moth loves a flame. He could never tire of you, never be bored with who you were. A life without you would be like…Calum didn’t even want to think about that. With him being mildly famous, it was rare to find people who actually cared about him as a person, but you did. You never asked for expensive things, even though he had told you whatever you wanted was yours. At most, the only material thing you’ve asked for is postcards from his travels, and that was simply because you wanted to see the different places his dreams were taking him to.

Calum knew from the moment he met you that you were something special, and when you had stopped to tie your sparkly pink balloon from the fair around the little girl’s wrist (she had been traumatized after a goose came up and snatched her cotton candy out of her tiny fist), he swears that’s when he fell in love. You always took care of other people—strangers even, and it warmed his heart from the very beginning.

The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his reverie, and he sat up a little too quickly, banging the back of his head on the wall behind him. Calum’s hand came up to cover the tender spot, his fingers circling around the aching area, trying to soothe it, while his other hand cradled the phone to his ear. The rings on his fingers clicked against the back of his phone case, and if he was standing, he would have stood on trembling legs. His entire body was buzzing like a livewire with nerves (and excitement) at the prospect of hearing your voice, finally.

“Hello?” Calum was breathless, both anxiety and a craving for your voice gripping him like a vice.

“Hi.” You said softly, not a trace of the hardness he thought he deserved in your tone.

“I’m gonna start off by saying that I am so, so sorry. I didn’t even realize—”

Your sigh was sad and desperate. “That’s the problem.”

“What?”

“That’s the problem Calum! You didn’t realize, and—and I didn’t realize. Not until last night. We’re drifting apart.”

Calum stayed silent, a mix of something akin to fear and dread and hopelessness burned through every nerve ending in his body. You continued. “Cal, I love you okay? I really, truly do.”

“Why does it sound like there’s a ‘but’ coming?” Calum whispered, swallowing nervously.

“But this is getting to be too much,” you said, your voice cracking, “and it’s just—it’s not fair. I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you to show up and whisk me away into a life where I actually mattered, and half the time I don’t even get to see you. I’m so in love with you, and it…it hurts.”

“I’m so sorry. You have no idea how much I wish I could be there for you…with you.” Calum breathed, truly meaning everything that he was saying to you. A sudden sob on the other end of the line tugged at his heartstrings, causing him to hesitantly ask the question he had been dreading all day. “Are you going to leave?”

The line was quiet, and then a harsh sniff. “What?”

“Are you…all I want is for you to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. And if this isn’t—if I’m not making you happy, then you can—”

“I’m not—fuck, I’m not leaving you Calum.”

It took a minute for Calum to answer. “Okay.”

“Baby, I swear I’m not leaving. I’m just a bit frustrated is all…I don’t—I wouldn’t leave you just because things got hard.”

“I think I would be totally lost without you.” He said quietly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I know I would be lost without you.” You said back, just as quiet. “Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know. I’m home in,” he paused to check his calendar, “14 days. I think we should—”

“Please don’t say start over. I want what we have right now in this moment, but with more talking. You—you have no idea how much I missed your voice.”

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry that I was drifting.”

“Please don’t do that again, you scared me. I thought…I thought I was going to lose you.” Your voice wavered slightly, and Calum closed his eyes. He knew you were crying, and it hurt, it hurt to know that the cause of your tears was his doing.

“You’ll never lose me. I’m yours to keep, forever and always.”

“I love you Cal.”

“Marry me.” He blurted out suddenly.

“What did you just say?”

“I know you sacrifice so much for this relationship to work, and I’m so lucky that I found you. You have no idea how much I love you, and I—I want to spend the rest of my days loving you endlessly. Of course, I’ll get a ring and—"

“Yes.” You said quietly, so quiet, that he didn’t hear you at first.

“Propose to you the right way and—wait. You…yes?”

[last-flight-of-fancy]

fatedeniedhope replied to your post “* sees people confused over various kh plot points * * is not people i...”

I would like yo know a bit. Only play kh 1 and chain of memories and half way to kh 2

oh boy there is a *lot* to cover here then!

I don’t mean that to sound intimidating, kh just has a tendency for long, sprawling interconnected plots (many of which are still unresolved even now)

i am also doing this entirely by memory, so if i’ve skimmed something i shouldn’t have its because my brain has stopped registering it as important; feel free to ask for clarification, i wrote this in one sitting because i was avoiding doing laundry XD

putting a cut because i am overviewing a Lot of game here and tbh there’s still a lot of stuff i am skimming or skipping entirely. I’m just trying to hit the highlights.

i don’t know where you stopped in 2, so i’m just gonna give a brief overview

-there is a boy named roxas

-he’s being hunted by these strangers called nobody’s

-things get weird

-turns out he’s sora’s nobody, as nobody’s are created when a person is turned into a heartless (which sora did during kh1)

-roxas returns to sora (”looks like my summer vacation is.. over...” whoops there goes my heart) and normal sora gameplay resumes.

-DIDNEY WORLDS

-turns out everyone forgot sora for a year bc of what happened in chain of memories (and also 358/2. dont worry about that yet we’ll get there). kairi sends out a bottle to “the boy she can’t remember” trying to call him home. (yes this is important)

-organization 13 (all what? eight of them left?) pops up, xemnas is cryptic, and they say their goal is to recreate kingdom hearts via sora killing heartless, since apparently only killing heartless with a keyblade sends the trapped hearts to Kingdom Hearts

      -this version of the tale persists through 358 as well. it’s.. half right.

-bla bla bla, shenanigans. there’s ansem (the boss from kh1) and a guy named diz. That isn’t who either of them actually are. It’s actually Riku (who tapped too far into the darkness trying to capture roxas for the whole twilight town scenario at the beginning of the game, thus altering his appearance to look like the guy who posessed him for a bit) and THE ACTUAL ANSEM (ie, the ruler(?) of radient garden before it fell, and the guy heartless ansem stole his name from.

-anyways

-sora goes off searching for riku, bc as far as he knows, he’s still lost out in the darkness.

-he’s not, he’s fine, but he’s super embarrassed about the whole ‘looking like the enemy’ thing and won’t let sora find him.

-sora casually murders most of the remaining organization members (only most of whom shot first)

-this continues on until axel attempts to kidnap kairi, who ends up in twilight town for a bit hanging out with the hayner/pence/ollete trio, before being slightly more successfully kidnapped a second time.

-and then she gets kidnapped again by saix. Axel apologises to sora over this. in his defence, he’s pretty desperate at this point (he just wants his friend(s) back)

-sora storms The World That Never Was, kairi is rescued by Namine.

-the trio finally meets up (namine disapeared at some point? yknow, i actually dont recall what happened to her in between these scenes), sora and kairi share a slightly awkward but sweet hug, and after a moments trepidation over ‘Ansem’, kairi tells/shows him its riku, at which point sora bursts into tears.

-i ship a lot of ot3′s, but sorikai is the OG ot3

-anyways

-namine and roxas have a very symbolic moment refusing with their Other’s, Namine opens a portal back to destiny islands so they can go home.

-everyone except sora and riku make it through, and thus commences several final fantasy style boss fights

-they win, of course, riku’s injured in the line of battle, and they limp out, having traversed several realms during the course of this battle, they’re now trapped on a beach in the realm of darkness. it’s the same beach everyone else seems to end up on in this place. There is only one beach in the RoD apparently

-they stay there a while, and then they pick up a message in a bottle; it’s from kairi, “to the boy she can’t remember”

-Feelings make a door to the light open, and sora and riku fall like actual comets from the sky and everybody’s reunited and happy. huzzah!

-.... well for a while anyways.

-should i get into the whole xemnas/xehanort/ansem thing here?

-eh

-okay so

-lets swing back into Birth By Sleep for a bit

-(im sorry if kh can’t hit any of its plot points in order i think its fair neither do i)

-BBS takes place roughly nine years prior to kh1, with the exception of bbs’s prologue, which i would estimate as being an additional four years prior to that

-during said prologue, we meet Master Xehanort, an incredibly old dude with brown skin, gold eyes, and a white beard. even newcomers to the series will probably recognise that only one type of person gets those colours in these games.

-we also meet baby Ventus, Xehanorts apprentice. He looks exactly like Roxas.

-shenanigans happen, Xehanort splits Ven’s heart in two, creating Vanitas, who is Ventus’s darkness.

-Vanitas’ whole shtick is he wants to be reunited with Ventus, ostensibly to create the X-blade (yes it’s pronounced exactly the same as ‘keyblade’ and yes, every single kh fan ive ever talked to has found this annoying af)

-unfortunately being split in two like that puts ven in a coma, and xehanort takes the unresponiseve body to destiny islands to dump it like unwanted ravioli

-luckily for ven, “a brand new hear” hears his hurt and reaches out to help, filling out the gaps left in his and allowing him to start recovering

-the heart is sora

-actual, literal baby sora reaching out to help people before he can even walk yet. 

-the game never spells this out explicitly, which makes it an easy plot point to miss if you aren’t paying attention

-ven doesn’t recover immidietly though, and xehanort sends him to live with his old friend Master Eraqus and his two teenage apprentices, Aqua and Terra

-here’s where we time skip, ventus is fully recovered, terra and aqua are young adults and about to take their Mark Of Mastery exams for becoming keyblade masters.

-Terra fails because he has darkness in his heart and also xehanort rigged it against him

-aqua passes and becomes a master. I love her very much.

-terra journey’s out to try and figure out where the darkness comes from

-vanitas taunts ven saying terra’s leaving him bc ven’s stupid or something and ven panics and chases after him (he’s like 14 and has a bit of a hero worship thing, stupid decisions are par for the course)

-eraqus sends aqua out to both spy on terra (he words it nicer but thats the gist of it), which aqua doesn’t particularly like but trusts her masters judgement and does it, and bring ventus home, which she is more on board with

-the biggest tragedy in bbs is that no one talks to each other

-stuff happens, they learn some stuff, aqua’s route has So Many Lesbian Feels with every single princess she runs into it brings me great delight

-Ventus learns the whole ‘fight your darkness to become the X-blade’ plot, eraqus learns this too and tries to kill ven. Terra busts in at the last moment and saves ven, at this point using his dark powers fully.

-#terrawasright

-eraqus dies, which i don’t think terra fully intended to do (he just wanted to save ven) and if you recall the scene in kh1 where kairi catches a falling sora only for him to burst into a bunch of floating glitter? imagine that but with two grown men

-aqua’s just trying to figure out whats going on. she gets to meet kairi (saves her from some heartless and then puts a charm on her necklace to keep her safe) and then meets Mickey, who will be our future duex ex machina

-they all meet for the final battle.

-ven asks his friends to murder him

-no one does that

-what the fuck ven

-they fight, and a lot of stuff sorta happens at the same time

-1: terra fights xehanort, who has essentially been spending the whole game prepping terra to be his next host. xehanort is a body snatcher confirmed. xehanort wins, terra becomes the fanon-named terranort.

-2: ventus fights vanitas. vanitas reveals his face, and he looks exactly like a colour swapped version of sora. (also voiced by the same voice actor! it’s actually surprsingly difficult to notice this if you don’t have some kind of clue already because haley joel osment does and *amazing* job). ventus wins, the X-blade is not forged, but as a lot of this battle takes place in his heart, the effects are bad and ven falls into a coma (he reaches out once more, and another hearts answers. “you can stay here a while, I don’t mind” says the other heart. yes its fucking sora again. too good, too pure)

-3: aqua gets knocked out to start with, but then she fights vanitas controlling ventus’ body, which eventually gets sorted out. terra’s dissapeared at this point, and she takes a comatose ven and hides him in the land of departure, which she uses a secret mechanism to turn into Castle Oblivion (and thus, impossible to navigate  without her key)

-aqua goes to hunt down terra(nort), and finds him in radiant garden. they fight, aqua wins, but when he begins to sink into the darkness she sacrifices herself to save him (which is how he ends up as one of ansem’s apprentices and mostly without any memories)

-aqua will spend the next ten years in the realm of darkness

-bbs is such a goddam tragedy

-OKAY

-time to fast forward

-so sora and ven are connected, which is why vanitas and roxas look the way they do, which brings us to

-the case of xion

-and 358/2

-the worst game to play but my absolute favourite in terms of slow-burn pacing and emotionally investing you in the characters

-this game pretty much just deals with the year sora spent asleep, and the kids time in the organization.

-roxas wakes up with no memories, is inducted into the org, and told “kill heartless with your keyblade”. He’s more or less a zombie at first, and accepts this without question.

-a week later, a new member is introduced, named Xion, who also has a keyblade, and is also a zombie with no memories at first

-Axel, the org’s assassin, is basically told to babysit them both

-he’s not really into it at first, but those natural Big Brother instincts kick in Hard about five minutes later and from that point on he’s mostly just trying to keep them both alive.

-oh, also Lea, Axel’s somebody, met Ventus in bbs, so that was probably a little weird for him.

-as the game goes on and these kids essentially learn how to human and try to figure out what makes them different, the Big Plots stew in the background. Axel and Saix have some kind of plan that Axel apparently isn’t sticking to, and Axel questions his loyalties more as the game goes on and circumstances force him to choose between two kids Who Did Nothing Wrong, and his oldest friend.

-Xion learns they are a replica, a la Repliku, created as a backup to roxas if he could not fulfil his duty in creating kingdom hearts. their connection with roxas, and through him sora, has the unintended side effect of flitering memories and feelings into and through Xion.

-this is why putting sora back together takes so long

-Xion, between the pressure of being an org member in general, and the mental load from being caught between three+ people in a very literal sense, has a breakdown. Riku finds them, and despite a pretty rocky start between them, helps them through it.

-Xion leaves at two different points, the first time, Axel brings them back. “please don’t hold back, Axel. Promise.” “Everyone always thinks they’re right”

-excuse me i have to lay down again after thinking about how emotionally wrought this scene is.

-(the alternative is he has to kill them. he does everything he can to avoid that, but it’s clearly approaching an unsustainable situation; the org is running out of patience for dealing with the ‘clearly defective replica’, xion doesnt feel this situation is right, and axel just wants to keep everyone alive.

-yes typing ‘clearly defective replica’ physically hurt me. xion is a perfect bab and xemnas can fite me

-Xion leaves again

-Roxas, learning pieces of this but not all, runs away from the org. cue titular “no one would me” “that’s not true!” scene from 2

-(this leads to what is a hilariously depressing scene of roxas on the clocktower looking at his life and going “where could i even run to? I havent got anywhere to go” because he’s never known anything other than the organization and whoops i made myself sad again)

-namine explains to xion that sora can never wake up so long as they have his memories. The only way for them to release the memories is to die. It’s a hard decision.

-Xion meets roxas on the clocktower, feigns insanity, and goads him into fighting them (”do you see my face, roxas? is it a boys face? don’t you see. I have to make you a part of me too.”)

-cue more ff style boss fights

-xion dies

-look i can’t go into detail on this one i’ll start crying again, xion dies, everyone forgets they ever existed, and roxas gets to watch them shatter into dust in his arms.

-in the brief period where the memories are quickly vanishing but Not Quite Gone Yet roxas goes into a Roaring Rampage of Revenge and storms the World That Never Was

-this is where Riku catches up to him, and from there its a pretty straight shot into the beginning of kh2

-which im sure if you played these in chronological order would be *some kind of mood whiplash* i bet

-okay what have i missed

-recoded happened. the only important part here is that malificent and pete find out about the black box and malificent being malificent of course she Has To Have It

-”but whats the black box??” you ask

-good question

-we still dont know

-its  origin point is in KHUx though, 

-which is the multiplayer mobile game set during the Keyblade War of ages past. each weilder also has a companion dream eater named chirithy

-there are five unions, each headed by a leader and represented by an animal (unicorn, bear, snake, fox, and leopard)

-#anguisforlife

-these five (plus one more, named luxu) are each given roles by their master (the Master of Masters, or also known as MoM). He also tells them there is a traitor amongst the warriors of light. it’s unclear at this point how much of this he is directly steering. He also doesnt specifiy Which warriors of light, probably on purpose so everything happens as it should.

-so figure, trying to figure out who the traitor is is a pretty direct cause to no one trusting each other and eventually going for each others throats

-there is a page from the book of prophecies he gives only to luxu, who he tells that his role is to see the future with this Special Keyblade (and specifically the Eye in it). You might recognise it as xehanorts keyblade (and then you’ll start to see the Eye in a whole bunch of other ones too, notably in soul edge, way to dawn, and void gear)

-luxu fucks off, and everyone else goes about their business

-the first half of khux details how these unions came to  be rivals, and then how they fell into war with each other and destroyed the light. the second half detailed how Ava, leader of the fox union, created a fifth group known as the dandelions, specifically picked to survive the fall of the light and rebuild.

-ventus and lauriam are two of these leaders. No, we still don’t know how they got from one point to the other.

-one of the replacement leaders, strelitzia, got murdered and replaced by someone else. i think this plot point has been resolved in japan but i havent checked yet

-strelitzia is lauriam’s sister. she also knows elrena.

-and if you’re bad at anagraming like i am, lauriam=marluxua, and elrena=larxene

-so yeah figure that one out for me

-also i love strelitzia she has like two scenes total and i was already ludicrously attached help

-(Yes i screamed very hard during that One Scene in 3. we dont even see her face but it’s heerrrrrrrr)

-anyways

-right the black box

-luxu is seen carrying it off in the Back Cover movie as he wanders into exile. we still dont know whats in it. and that’s basically that.

-which leaves just Dream Drop Distance

-sora and riku take a Highly Modified mark of master exam under yen sid.

-things go wrong almost immidietly

-sora gets trapped by the xehanorts in a deep sleep, where they plan to use him as one of their 13 vessels of darkness

-there has to be 13 for some reason

-13 darknesses, and 7 lights, and when they clash it’ll make the X-blade

-because reasons

-it’s fate or something

-riku rescues him

-there is time travel involved now

-because at this point the 13 darkness now include; heartless ansem, master xehanort, xemnas, young xehanort, xigbar, and saix.

-more time travel will be involved later, but to keep this in mind the rules of time travel here are

     -you cannot take your body with you

     -you lose any future knowledge you gain if and when you return

-things are obviously wibbly here because it’s half in the dreamscape, but just. keep those rules in mind when you play 3.

....... im sure im missing a bunch but i just spent two hours writing the most casual pre-kh3 synopsis ever i hope you can forgive me XD

[iamwhelmed]

Home: A Win One, Have Two Playlist

Because I knew I’d miss an update eventually, I prepared this in advance! Sorry about the inconvenience guys! ^^’ Here’s a few songs that apply to the second fic in The Monster Trilogy! It’s up to interpretation how, of course ;D Have an awesome day!

Rose sighed, and uncrossed her arms, entire body slackening though she was still somewhat on guard. He could sense it in her, feel how tightly-wound she was. Over him. He didn’t understand it, he wasn’t sure he could. Not over him, not because of him. He’d done nothing but hurt everyone he’d ever cared about, everybody that might have cared about him too if he wasn’t so useless. People might have wanted him. And for some reason, Miss Rose did. Hardy did. Clara did. Crawford might’ve. He wasn’t used to it, and he still wasn’t sure he trusted it, though he trusted them. Maybe it was himself he didn’t trust; that might have been a fair assessment.

Rose’s voice was gentle, and stern, and just the right amount of chummy. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s you and me against the world now,whether you walk out that door or not.”

Ed turned to him, head tilted, like a dog trying to understand. “You seem really worried” Max gestured pointedly, disbelievingly, irritably, at the blood-covered bathroom, and Ed continued on unperturbed “-- more worried than any of us. Like, way more worried. I mean, we’re all scared pantsless, but not like…” he gestured to Max with as much obnoxious energy as Max had used “you are.”

Max frowned, and took a moment to think about it all. The constant worrying, the fear he couldn’t explain, the fact that he kept thinking about the same moment, the moment where it all came crashing down, where everything started, this entire mess. He couldn’t escape it. It always came back, always was in the back of his mind, sitting there waiting for his train of thought to lead him right to it. It’d been bothering him longer than Isaac had been missing, and there was only one explanation for it. “I never got a chance to talk to him about it.” Ed said nothing, but he didn’t move either, so he was listening, probably “Our fight. We didn’t get to talk about it.” That’s what scared him, the guilt weighing down on his shoulders. If Isaac wasn’t okay, if something happened to him, if he died out here…

He didn’t want to think about it.

Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift (cover by Tiffany Alvord and Megan Nicole)

I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, "I'll never let you go." When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone," But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes The sun is going down You'll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound

Home by Ella Eyre

Yeah I'm cold Everything seems to be fine On the surface I look good But I don't feel the same inside Something's wrong And I know you can tell But I never have to say Cause you know me too well

No need to worry There's no urgency here I'm all good I'll be on my way And I'm too proud to say I need Anyone else but me Then I'm right back on my street

And I find myself at home No, never be scared Home's where my family's at I'm home No, I'll never look back Hold on to what I have I'm not afraid to use the phone Cause I don't have to be alone

Remember When by Avril Lavigne

...You know my feelings It never crossed my mind That there would be a time For us to say goodbye What a big surprise...

...I remember when it was together till the end Now I'm alone again Where do I begin? I cried a little bit You died a little bit Please say there's no regrets And say you won't forget...

That was then Now it's the end I'm not coming back I can't pretend Remember When

These feelings I can't shake no more These feelings are running out the door I can feel it falling down And I'm not coming back around These feelings I can't take no more This emptiness in the bottom drawer It's getting harder to pretend And I'm not coming back around again

Home by Daughtry

Well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home....

...I've not always been the best man or friend for you. But your love remains true. And I don't know why. You always seem to give me another try.

They Just Don't Know You by Little Mix

Talk is cheap and rumors spread but they go with the wind It's not about she said he said 'cause I know where it ends I know the real truth And the real truth is you

It's funny 'cause at times it feels like us against the world They treat you like a criminal but I'll still be your girl I'd ride or die with you Walk the line if you asked me to

So oh oh Tell me, tell me you won't break my heart You won't tear my world apart That you'll be there when I need 'Cause I wanna tell them

They just don't know you

People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson

And hey, yeah I know what you're going through Don't let it get the best of you, you'll make it out alive Oh, people like us we've gotta stick together Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever Here's to the damned to the lost and forgotten It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom

Stay by Zedd (feat. Alessia Cara)

Waiting for the time to pass you by Hope the winds of change will change your mind I could give a thousand reasons why And I know you, and you've got to

Make it on your own, but we don't have to grow up We can stay forever young Living on my sofa, drinking rum and cola Underneath the rising sun I could give a thousand reasons why But you're going, and you know that All you have to do is stay a minute...

...Won't admit what I already know I've never been the best at letting go I don't wanna spend the night alone Guess I need you, and I need to

Make it on my own, but I don't wanna grow up We can stay forever young

Stand By You by Rachel Platten

Hands, put your empty hands in mine And scars, show me all the scars you hide And hey, if your wings are broken Please take mine so yours can open too 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I And love, if your wings are broken Borrow mine so yours can open too 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

Drops of Jupiter by Train

...Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star One without a permanent scar And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

Now that she's back from that soul vacation Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey, hey, yeah

Now that she's back in the atmosphere I'm afraid that she might think of me as Plain ol' Jane, told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Payphone by Maroon 5

Now baby dont hang up So I can tell you what you need to know Baby im begging just please dont go So I can tell you what you need to know

We Don't Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth and Selena Gomez

I just heard you found the one you've been looking You've been looking for I wish I would have known that wasn't me Cause even after all this time I still wonder Why I can't move on...

...I just hope you're lying next to somebody Who knows how to love you like me There must be a good reason that you're gone Every now and then I think you Might want me to come show up at your door But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong

Everybody Hurts by Avril Lavigne

Don't know, don't know if I can do this on my own Why do you have to leave, me It seems, I'm losing something deep inside of me Hold on, onto me...

...It feels like nothing really matters anymore When you're gone I can't breathe And I know you never meant to make me feel this way This can't be happening...

...So many questions so much on my mind So many answers I can't find I wish I could turn back the time I want to...

...Everybody hurts Everybody screams Everybody feels this way Its okay La di da di da It's okay

Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson

Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories, they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye Even without fists held high, yeah Never would have worked out right, yeah We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop...

...Looking at you makes it harder But I know that you'll find another That doesn't always make you wanna cry Started with a perfect kiss Then we could feel the poison set in Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go

Fix You by Coldplay

When the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go If you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth

Where is My Mind by Yoav and Emily Browning

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse But there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind

Little Do You Know by Alex and Sierra

Little do you know How I’m breaking while you fall asleep Little do you know I’m still haunted by the memory Little do you know I’m trying to pick myself from piece by piece Little do you know I need a little more time...

...I’ll wait, I’ll wait I love you like you've never felt the pain, I’ll wait I promise you don’t have to be afraid, I’ll wait The love you see right here stays so lay your head on me

Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato

Oh no, here we go again Fighting over what I said I'm sorry, yeah I’m sorry Bad at love, no, I'm not good at this But I can't say I’m innocent Not hardly, but I'm sorry

And all my friends, they know and it's true I don't know who I am without you I got it bad, baby Got it bad...

...And I hope I never see the day That you move on and be happy without me Without me What’s my hand without your heart to hold? I don’t know what I'm living for If I’m living without you...

...Oh, tell me you love me I need someone on days like this, I do On days like this

[legion1993]

The Zoo, Animals, Clowns... OMG the supernatural is real...

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

A/N: Welcome to week 8 of the SPN Hiatus Writing Challenge brought to us by our very own @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​, im pleased to bring you another fic inspired once more by my favorite show. Once more please ignore any grammer and spelling errors throughout this fic. And if this fic makes your fancys tickle please give it some love.

Prompt: “Where the fuck did that clown come from?”

Plot: set in our time we all have those hallucinations where we see something and we think it is real. Like I mean your walking and you see something out of the corner of your eye and you look again and its there but you ask someone else about it but they claim its fake… well your at the zoo with your loving boyfriend Jensen and your 2 best friends obviously Misha and Jared, all of you are walking along you see a clown what happens when you find out that the clown is actually an apparition….

Once upon a time, in the magical city of Vancouver, BC around 9pm you were in your apartment anxiously awaiting the arrival home of your moi caliente boyfriend. He always arrived home by this point, you were always doing the normal making him dinner that’s when you smiled and looked around.

You could feel something watching you, you could feel something creeping round. Then you felt like it was something haunting you so you took a few precautions. You salted the windows and doors, but most importantly you grabbed the iron fire place poker and brought it back to the kitchen with you. Sure your boyfriend would be a little concerned for your sanity but he would be happy to know your keeping you and the apartment safe.

About half an hour later the door clicked and you heard the familiar steps of your boyfriend, “hey babe whatever your cooking in there smells mighty fine…” Jensen came up to you and wrapped his arms around you from behind. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and you smiled, “how was filming?”

Jensen kissed your neck as he said,

“long and frustrating cause no matter what we did they had us redo every single scene like fight scene cause our stunt guys weren’t there today so Jared and I got to do our own scenes. Damn babe I know we just saw eachother like this morning but you are even more hot and alluring right now than earlier like I say we skip dinner and go straight to bed for some us time.”

You could only smile feeling his lips brush against your neck, his hands sliding down your waist, his body flush with yours supporting your balance, your knees ready to buckle from underneath you. “well we still have 30 minutes to wait till the meat is done… what do you suggest my love…”

You felt him spin you round turning off the stove top in the process as he lifted you up against the counter. “I suggest we do it right here right now in our apartment where I see you have once more taken precautions against the supernatural… you are a wonderful woman, what did you see this time…” Jensen said with a kiss to your nose as you shivered and softly said, “jay, I’m not entirely sure I mean it knocked over and broke the vase in the living room and disappeared as soon as I saw him so I stuck salt everywhere, Jay it kinda looked like a clown… but Im not entirely sure.”

Jay knew he had to do something to make you feel safe again and this time he was gonna take your mind off it… “babe I know your freaked and you need a distraction so here is what im proposing… me you jared and misha go to the zoo tomorrow and we make a day out of it… we just fool around and have a good time… what do you say??”

All you could do was smile as you nodded and kissed him softly. Wrapping your legs round his waist as he lifted your tank top off as you did his shirt. Everything happened quickly after that minus getting interrupted by the oven timer, but that was where Jensen took over and took them out like you had taught him years ago.

Your dinner got left in the fridge, neither of you ended up eating that night you just ended up doing the deed on the couch and falling asleep on the couch as well.. thank god for those big fuzzy rectangle sectionals right…

2 of them placed side by side with a air mattress on it made the perfect place for both you and Jensen that night. For neither of you worried when the other was near. Morning soon was shining through the window and once more you woke on the chest of your beloved man, this ofcourse was nothing new to you.

Like always you traced circles on his chest and listened to his heart beat as he slept. Occasionally feeling him shift and pull you closer made your heart skip a beat. He made you smile and he made you laugh. Everyday you spent with him made everything worth living for.

About 10 minutes later you felt his lips kiss your forehead, “morning sweetheart… been awake long?” you looked up at him and smiled as you kissed him,

“not too long I was tracing your chest, thinking of what our future is gonna look like especially considering that today is our 3 year anniversary… which I got you a gift and yes I know we said we weren’t gonna do gifts but I know you have been wanting this…”

You reached behind you and grabbed the box with the gift in it and you opened it as you placed it on his chest:

His expression turned to one of joy as you smiled letting him put the watch off to the side and pull you close again and he His expression turned to one of joy as you smiled letting him put the watch off to the side and pull you close again, he took your hands and cupped your cheek.

“Thank you babe I love it that Rolex looks customized & it also looks expensive I'll wear it today… now you will get your gift later when we are at the zoo… but right now I have another gift for you… Y/N would you ever consider trying for a baby with me???”

Your eyes lit up as you saw Jensen smiling you didn't know how to respond. You felt as though your voice may betray you. “Of course but what happened to tradition?” You felt his arms pull your face to look at him as he said, “tradition is nothing if nothing to live for… you are my world Y/N and I wouldn't be who I am today if not for you…”

This was something that you had been waiting for for a long time as the fans texts and posts started coming in as they all wished you guys a happy anniversary… you guys spent some more time in bed before Jared and Misha video called both of you and basically said that in 5 minutes they would be in the apartment to drag you the zoo…

That made you and Jensen put on robes and make breakfast to eat before they got there… the front door was opened while you guys were eating… in walked Jared and Misha they looked at both of you sitting in your robes at the counter eating breakfast as Misha said, “is there extra???” You pointed to the pan and ushered him to help himself…

Jared patted Jensen on the shoulder as he said, “dude do you even know what your wearing today?” Jay looked at you and smiled,

“ya my new watch and something babe here will think looks amazing on me… and guys we should tell you first but the plan is still happening but the other question I asked her this morning, the one that I discussed with the team yesterday morning and was a big ok… Y/N and I are gonna try for a baby…”

You smiled as Jay got patted by the guys and you glowed, all you could do was show on your face how happy you were… “Jared & Misha why don't both of you make yourselves comfortable while Jay and I get ready…” you got up and were embraced by both Jared and Misha as they went into the living room as you and Jay went to your room and you stood infront of your sink and only breathed deeply.

Jensen came up behind you and felt you breathe as he said, “babe you ok?” You nodded and smiled leaning into Jensen as he said, “you should wear your blue dress the new one and I'll wear the blue short sleeve plaid shirt and my black khaki shorts…”

you smiled knowing exactly what Jensen was talking bout you could only imagine what he was planning for the zoo… but you didn't care it was gonna be an amazing day with your boyfriend and your best friends.

Then it was time you went to the closet with your babe and he grabbed your dress and you grabbed his khakis and shirt. Heading back to get dressed Jensen kept fooling round and pulling you down on him and you kept giggling, only God knew what Jared and Misha were thinking… finally after picking your shoes and bag you and Jensen exited the bedroom only to get oogled by the guys. There was alot of giggles from you as all of you exited the apartment.

Jensen took a million photos and when you all got to the zoo, there was a very very solem chance that right then, there was gonna be an amazing event. You looked around and smiled knowing nothing would help what you saw except to try and forget about it. You took the map and started looking at where every animal was…

There was nothing of more value and importance during your entire trip than spending time goofing off, taking photos, laughing, and lots of mushy photos done by you and Jensen. You would be scrapbooking these photos for weeks but you didn’t know that when you all stopped for a rest something else was gonna get photographed.

Jensen could feel the ring box burning in his pocket, all this time he had only imagined what this moment would feel like and he had run this through his mind a thousand times. All he had was yours, and only this morning had you agreed to try for a baby with him, and now he was gonna make things even better…

As you twirled round in your dress the guys sat on the near by bench and smiled Jensen watched you dance in the sunshine and he imagined how good it would be to propose to you right there, right then he got up and joined your dance. You let him and you could feel the love flowing off him as you leaned your head against his chest you smiled as he said,

“Y/N in all our years together never had I ever imagined that we would have made it this far but with everything we have been through together seems like a long time. On today though in front of Jared and Misha I want to say this: all this time ive dreamed of our future together and what it may look like, ive also loved how you just let me sleep in the morning and don’t get angry when we are in bed early and you never get bored of just living your life with me. Quite frankly I never want this to end, so I have a question: Y/N will you marry me???”

He pulled out the ring:

And you could feel your facial expressions change instantly as he knelt to one knee and you could only smile as you nodded, “yes…” Jensen put the ring on your finger got up and spun you around. You had no idea that when he would put you down both you and him would see the same clown you had seen the night before.

No sooner had Jensen put you down than both of you heard a creepy laugh and turned only to fall to the ground having gotten knocked over by something. Jensen helped you up as he got up and said, “are you okay?” you started crying as you started panicking, making everything around you go fuzzy as your tears clouded your eyes.

Jensen waved the guys over and said, “boys we gotta go now whatever knocked us over wasn’t natural… and whatever it is its targeting me and Y/N we need to stop it now… and how do we hunt…” you spoke after a few moments, “by finding out first what we are up against… then we can kill some sons of bitches and raise a little hell…”

You leaned into Jensen’s embrace for a while until Jared and Misha came round on either side of you and took all of you back to the car which took all of you back to the apartment. Where you turned on the episode of supernatural (season 2.02) with the clowns and although the guys had a good laugh you were still worried.

“This has to be a Rakshasa…” you muttered but just loud enough to catch Jensen’s ear… as he said,

“excuse me a Rakshasa as in that freaky clown thing from season 2… oh that’s why we are watching this episode… cause you are trying to put the pieces together. I want you to keep working on this piece it together im gonna go get something from the closet… something that I had put aside just as a precaution incase this thing you were seeing turned out to actually be real…”

You could only feel the pressure being lifted somewhat knowing that your fiancé didn’t think you were insane but you sighed softly as you watched Jensen walk towards the bedroom… “how can you be sure its this Y/N?” Jared asked as you intently studied the episode, “all the signs are there but the question is why/how the hell is it real?”

You tried to pull this out of your head, piecing it together slowly from the sightings stated by a few people to what you and Jensen had seen… everyone had reported the same thing you saw and it scared you… it scared you cause you were just starting your life with Jensen but you had to defeat this issue first before even thinking about continuing your lives together but then Jensen came back into the room..

He dropped a duffle bag on the carpet and you jumped getting startled as Jared said, “dude is this what I think it is?” you looked at Jensen who just nodded and said,

“Y/N, I love you and I’m so sorry I kept this from you but Jared and I met long before the show and our roles, we had worked together before that… we had worked together as hunters. And yes the kind that is in the show. This just confirms our suspicions, someone in our reality has brought the Supernatural out of the show. Now who that is, has yet to be solved but we have been doing this since just before we started dating, I always thought I wouldn’t have to tell you… not this soon… I mean Jared did you tell Gen?”

You Misha and Jensen looked at Jared who shoke his head and he said, “no cause she would just worry…” at that moment you pulled out your phone and called Gen who answered right away,

Y/N: “Hey Gen hows it going?”

Gen: “Y/N I saw the photo that Jared sent congratulations girl!!!”

Y/N: “thanks though it seems our boys have been hiding things from us do you want to hear it from me or hear it from them… or just a quick version…???”

Gen: “is this the kind of thing where I should assume they have been doing it for a while…”

Y/N: “Gen lets just say that the world of the Supernatural is real and our guys are hunters in the show and in reality… and they think that someone in our reality is bringing creatures from the show into our reality… this creature that is terrorizing me and Jay is a Rakshasa… or in otherwords a clown…”

Gen: “the one from… wait, Where the fuck did that clown come from?”

You knew what she was getting at and you stopped her,

Y/N: “yes the one from 2.02 but one thing disturbs me it hasn’t killed anyone yet so why would it just be lurking… anyway we will discuss it at some point I figured tho that I would give you the heads up incase our men decide to take it on themselves…”

Gen: “hun ill be there as soon as I can… just hold them down till I get there…”

After she said that you both hung up the phone and you looked at Jared and Jensen,

Y/N: “its your fault guys you’re the ones who lied to us… bout your extra curriculars. Now if you guys want to make it up to us let us help you, let us help defeat every single stupid son of a bitch out there so we can all live happily ever after…”

Jensen: “no Y/N its too dangerous… and plus…”

Jared: “we already worry enough about you and Gen we didn’t tell you guys cause…”

Jensen: “cause we were protecting you and besides would you have let us go on that wilderness weekend if you knew we were hunting a werewolf?”

Y/N: “A WEREWOLF YOU TOLD ME THAT IT WAS JUST A RELAXATION WEEKEND AND THAT’S WHAT WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING WHILE WE WERE BINGING SUPERNATURAL… YOU LIED TO US AND THAT’S NOT OK… NOT EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST…”

At that moment after you calmed down Gen walked in and she glared at jared and approached you with loving arms,

Gen: “you boys have some nerve hiding this from us especially you Jared you hid this from me but worse you had Jay hide it from Y/N after everything that’s happened we deserved the truth…”

Jensen: “would both of you just calm down please and listen… Jared and I yes we lied but it really was to protect you… Both of you cause we knew that if you both found out about this, that neither of you would be safe… we never meant for you guys to find out this way…”

Jared: “we always meant to tell you both at the right moment, but we didn’t want you to worry more than you already do on a daily basis… we always wanted this to be a family thing… cause that’s what we all are is family and right now this family is in danger…”

Misha: “we need to do this with skill cause any one of us could be the next target…”

Y/N: “boys we hear what you all are saying but Gen and I have a small secret of our own… those classes we have been taking the ones we claimed were yoga classes, are actually self defense classes. They include tae kwan doe and kick boxing… we just finished the tae kwan doe sessions graduated full black belts just last week… which is why jay when we spar I can whope your ass… but I still love you… and Jared is right we are a family… and back home the family that sticks together is one that has no regrets…”

Gen then came up to you and whispered in your ear and then you went to the bedroom and came out with some picture frames… you then had Gen help you hang them around the living room… it was the set of frames you had sent from home they looked as follows:

Your eyes lit up as you put these up on the walls and felt Jensen watching you the entire time.

You decided to let the guys stare at those ones before you put up the last 2 because they were custom ones you had done before you started dating Jensen.

As soon as Jensen saw that one you knew he had his mind made up… he knew that you were serious… he felt you brush passed him to put up the last one the one that truly mattered…

Jensen: “babe what are all these? Since when did you have these?”

Y/N: “since my best friend back home found them and sent them to me… and now I want to finally put them up to make this place more homie…”

Gen: “well I think this looks amazing definitely more homie… now some engagement photos need to be taken to show the fans… exactly what happiness has befallen us… cause we have been a family from the beginning and right here right now I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else… so Jensen Y/N we are gonna do panel shots… so just start one way and make it beautiful…”

Well Gen set up the camera as Jensen had you slide your ring off for a moment to recreate the moment for these shots..

Shot 1: Jensen kneeling in front of you holding the ring… you saying yes…

Shot 2: Jensen sliding the ring on your finger

Shot 3, 4, 5: Jensen standing to spin you round

Shot 6: Jensen setting you down and leaning his forehead against yours

Shot 7: a sunset kiss with a blur in it…

After that photoshoot and not really anything to eat you and Jensen sat there with everyone else as the photos were taken off the camera and placed to the television to see how they came out…You squealed and made a note to send every single one of these photos to your best friend but then when it got to the final one you stopped it and there was a brief moment of terror that made you go into shock.

Y/N: “the clown that blur is the clown that’s it this clown is toast… we need to get rid of it now or its not gonna stop..”

Jensen: “everyone is staying here till we figure this out and right now we need to check for EMF or anything like that.. and if we do this right it will have everything figured out in no time… but everyone works together… and no one leaves alone..”

Jared: “way ahead of you dude ive been keeping an eye on the EMF the current reading is this…”

Misha: “whatever this is its still here… so what do we want to do while we all wait for this thing to attack?”

Gen: “ooo Jay, Y/N we should get the wedding planning starting with the date?”

You and Jensen nodded and you all gathered round the television and you guys decided to try and pick whether or not you wanted a spring or a winter wedding…

Jared: “well you guys met in the early winter right?”

Y/N: “ya we did but…”

Jensen: “oh I get it hun how do you feel about getting married in a winter wonderland?”

You only smiled and nodded kissing his cheek as you had smiled,

Y/N: “Saturday 9th of December 2017… if we are getting married it will be this year and nothing will stop us… but how bout instead of a winter wedding we do a masquerade theme…”

Gen: “next, what style do you want for your Save the dates cause those need to get out right away…”

You and Jensen scrolled through the sites… and found one that looked interesting and so you took a saved version of the photo with the wording and all…

Just like that things seemed more real… now since you guys were ordering those right away you figured you would order the invites at the same time… course what could go wrong right…

While looking at invites your head snapped up and you shivered, Jensen noticed this and pulled you close,

Jensen: “Y/N baby you ok?”

Y/N: “jay its here its in the building its coming… Jay we need to salt everything we need to protect ourselves..”

Just as you all were about to start salting everything you got tossed back against the wall in the bedroom and whatever it was held you by the throat and its laughter shook the walls as Jensen said, “hey ghosty back away from my fiancé…”

Jensen swung the iron fire poker and you fell to the floor… you started coughing and trying to catch your breath… but you felt a little better in Jensen’s arms… he took you back to the couch and held you as the others surrounded the living room area in a huge salt circle…

Jensen: “for the record baby I like the masq Idea and you know what it will be fantastic…”

Sooner than not Gen had done up the invite and she turned to Jensen and you, “you guys want to see your invitation… this totally fits with what im thinking for your theme…”

Both you and Jensen smiled and took charge of instructing her to create the rest of the templates for this look and slowly everything started falling into place.. that night you had ordered the stationary, booked the venue, booked the DJ, decided on the florist, picked a few pictures of cakes, and by the end of all that you and Jensen were exhausted, Misha had fallen asleep on the floor Jared was relaxing into the sofa waiting for Gen and you were still nestled into Jay with worry…

Yes for now you had gotten rid of the clown ghost but for how long would that last… the weeks went by and your stuff had slowly come in.. all the invites and things started coming in… you made sure that in pen you wrote on the reception cards that it was gonna be a masq… piece by piece.. you and jensen even choose your song list.. for the bride and groom dance, the father daughter and a special number that you and him would do together… one that no one else would know about…

You and Jensen would take small breaks inbetween finding your attire to practice your musical number as a couple to be performed during the reception… as part of who you both are as a couple, to show the world just who you both are…

Finally it was the night before and everything had been set in place and just as you and Jay were just about to enter your apartment you were stopped by Jared and Gen,

Jared: “ok both of you step away from eachother, you both have had your last day of freedom together now we unfortunately have to separate you both… sadly this is how it has to be..”

Gen: “come on Y/N I have a bag of yours packed and your bridal attire and gear is in the car we are going to stay at the Hotel near the venue don’t worry you will be there in plenty of time before the wedding starts.. and hun don’t be nervous…”

Y/N: “well my love I think they are hinting at us to be away from eachother but tomorrow there is no telling what will happen… im just glad im gonna be Mrs Y/N Ackles tomorrow…”

Jensen: “me too and don’t worry if anything at all tries to disrupt our day they will live to regret it…”

Soon after that and a bit of smooching from you and Jensen, Gen pulled you away and you walked in silence thinking about how wonderful it will be to not only see all your friends and family but to become the wife to a man who stole your heart from the first time you met…

Today you were Y/F/N Y/L/N but tomorrow you were gonna be the wife to a guy who made your heart soar on the clouds… you were so excited you were surprised you got sleep.. when Gen and you woke the next morning you texted Jay,

Y/N :‘morning babe I miss you.. ill be the one in white walking down the aisle…’

Jay: ‘morning I missed waking up with you this morning… it will be nice to not leave the bed for a while…’

Y/N: ‘I know but hey think about it this way if we get through the day uninterrupted then that will be a new record..’

Jay: ‘what about you is getting put together right now…’

Y/N: ‘my hair or at least she is starting it… we will be badass and we will be amazing we will have amazing lives from now to forever…’

Jay: ‘of course now jared is trying to shove me into my attire ill see you soon my love…’

Gen came over to you and she smiled,

Gen: “well your hair is gonna be fully finished after we get you in your dress… and then we can go to the gift shop and get you something blue… so what do you say walking round the hotel in bare feet or slippers if you prefer, and in your wedding dress…”

You grabbed your pj’s off of you knowing full well that this was nothing new to Gen, she knew exactly what you were going through for a few years before you and Jay had been there for them… well that was one day that you were gonna forget… but today it was your turn… Gen turned you around a thousand times as you both giggled… laughing and making this feel as fun as it is supposed to be…

Finally she pulled out your dress..

You had done many fitting with the dress just for the fun of it you had even done a photoshoot in your dress secretly without Jensen knowing it was during their guys weekend for Jensens bachelor party…

You Gen and your best friend had gone to do this photoshoot… you then got the photos printed out and you spent the rest of the evening putting together this scrapbook for Jay… that was a while back and now you were ready to put it on… when you did your eyes lit up in wonder…

Y/N: “Gen you would think I would be completely nervous right now but im not and the strange thing is I think something bad is gonna happen during the reception… what if im wrong…”

Gen handed you your cape after she finished zipping up your dress, she then pulled out the camera and she smiled,

Gen: “ok turn slowly so I can get some good shots of the cap from the front…”

You did what she asked and you later saw the phtos… you squealed as you spun round happily today was gonna be perfect. As you slipped into your slippers and left the room with Gen to go down to the giftshop to get something blue…

You no sooner started down the hall than people started bowing cause they thought you were royalty… you had no idea what was gonna happen… you knew you wanted to be attached to Jensen forever and you knew that this was how you were gonna do it… no sooner had you and Gen entered the gift shop than you were grabbed but security caught the guy before he could get you too far… Gen took the bracelet paid for it and took you back up to the room where she then made a call putting it on speaker…

Jared: “hey Gen hows everything on your end…”

Gen: “not good Y/N just got assaulted like she almost got kidnapped and she is now nto saying anything she is freaked… maybe we should let them talk… I mean she hasn’t said anything since it happened 5 minutes ago…”

Jared: “of course I mean Jay is right here but I mean she isn’t hurt is she?”

Gen: “no she isn’t she is just a little shaken…”

Jared called for jay to come take the phone as Gen handed you hers and you put it to your ear,

Jay: “hey baby are you hurt?”

Y/N: “no but im a little scared… Jay he almost took me away from you…”

You started to cry as you heard Jensen soothe you,

Jay: “its ok baby look cliff is on his way to pick up you and Gen and bring you to the wedding… ok, we will see eachother very soon baby… ok just don’t think about it... think about how it will be to be married…”

Y/N: “it will be awesome…”

It was then that you started thinking happy thoughts as you hung up the phone… Gen came up to you and smiled fixing your hair and texting cliff which room you were in and where… it was a matter of time before cliff texted that he was outside your room to which Gen went and opened the door and he could only smile,

Cliff: “Y/N you look fantastic Jensen is one lucky fellow… now lets get both of you lovely looking ladies to the hall…”

Y/N: “thank you Cliff, for everything…”

Cliff extended his arms to you and Gen as he carried your back packs as well and you were safe… the veil was going on when you arrived at the hall… you had another half an hour to wait to relax and calm down as you sat in your room you focused on your breathing… until a knock at the door startled y0u, you went over to the door and peered through the hole as you saw that it was Jared and your Father outside you opened the door…

Jared: “sir may I present your daughter… don’t worry the groom doesn’t look nearly as good as she does…”

You hugged Jared and then hugged your dad who had taken time from the navy to come and see you get married…

Your Dad: “I brought you something my dear… remember when you were training to be a officer of the law and you moved before you could pick up your badge or your certificate… well I called in a few favors to get you set up to be apart of the international police force… as your father and commanding naval officer im honored to present you with this Badge wear it with pride and keep it on you at all times…”

You squealed and hugged him again after a stern handshake…

Jared: “I just received word for me to get my ass out there they are ready to start… Y/N keep that badge in your purse we will announce it to the house when the reception starts… we need to start lining up Jay is at the alter…”

Your Dad: “you ready baby girl…”

Y/N: “of course but wait Jared are we sure nothing is gonna go wrong?”

Jared: “we took every single precaution there is nothng can go wrong…”

You breathed in and smiled knowing that in a few moments you would be married and that everyone was here to celebrate with you… it was then that you held onto your fathers arm and Jared removed your cape and you were led down the hall… to where everyone had lined up… Y/F/N was standing there with Misha, Gen was standing with Jared and you were standing attached to your dad…

You then heard the music, the familiar sound as you watched everyone start walking but you find your feet at first… till the song picked up… you felt like you were gonna fall but your dad was holding on so tight you weren’t gonna get the chance to fall… that’s when you started walking… as soon as you entered through that door, you felt like everything was falling into place but as Gen, Y/F/N, Jared & Misha all took their places your eyes locked with Jensen’s…

You knew you were home… you reached the top of the aisle where you kissed your dad on the cheek and he placed your hand in Jensen’s. after the catholic ceremony (to be posted in a separate post…) this was said,

Priest: “it is my great privilege in the name of the Father, the son an the holy ghost to pronounce these 2 husband and wife… will you all stand and welcome Mr. and Mrs. Jensen and Y/N Ackles…”

Everyone stood and clapped for you and Jensen… as you descended the aisle… feeling like a completely new woman you knew that there was a big price for what you and Jensen were but for this day there was no price there was no variables there was just uncomplicated love…

You all knew one day you would defeat that evil clown but nothing was gonna ruin this day… and that’s when you said, “you know what our tale is as old as time…”