#now in the 2.0 version with pointier ears :D

[yetanotherlesbianonthiswebsite]

@ghostwise had free commission slots and since they drew Imerati and Merrill so wonderfully last time I couldn’t pass up the opportunity...

I think I talked about this last time but I fully intended for Imerati and Merrill to simply be friends in my AU but they did meet in my fic and I immediately sensed that those two connect in a way I didn’t calculate before. Two autistic trans fem elven mages that always felt ever so slightly seperated from their peers, two women who dream in vivid details and turn those details into reality, no matter against what resistance? Admittedly, Imerati weaves words where Merrill weaves the Fade, but they can see what the other sees. In my limited life experience, there is something special about a love that grows when you see another’s dream through their eyes and realize that you dream the same thing. They both see worlds that still need a lot of help to be born. The same worlds.

So I do have a very specific moment in my AU and eventually my fic when I ever resurrect it from the dead when those two kiss for the first time. It’s after a mission to the Fade that somehow (don’t ask me) strips Imerati of the Taint and makes her fully subjectable to blood magic. So Imerati asks Merrill if she can perform some blood magic surgery on her, but Merrill counters that Imerati could use the Mirror of Transformation. So they do spend an evening in the Black Emporium, and Imerati goes into the Mirror, naked, and has full control over what changes about her. For the first time in her life, her bodiedness is not a cage, but an opportunity. For the first time in her life, she fully feels like the person in the mirror is her herself.

So she emerges from the mirror, crying tears of joy, and breaks down, falls down on her knees, not knowing how she could ever thank Merrill, and lets her words of admiration and thankfullness flow, and she begins wondering how much that magnificent, lovely woman besides her must be annoyed by her. And, to her total surprise, Merrill pulls her up into a kiss, the first of uncountably many they share.

So there are so many things I love about the above drawing:

- I gave Rinny a very precise description of the emotional situation but zero pointers on like, poses, or what Merrill wears, or anything specific to go on, and they took that emotion I described and 100% turned it into lines on the screen. They cast magic with a digital pen

- I like to imagine Imerati looking exactly a bit like myself. I am not slim or narrow. Neither is she in this drawing! She has a belly and she has hips and her skin looks as soft as mine. Once again, learning to love myself by loving my self-insert OC

- The idea of the Dalish having something akin to a tank-top delights me to no end

- The way Merrill wraps her hand around Imerati’s head was Rinny’s idea - I once again had the pleasure to witness their work process and how the sketch has changed. There is just so much unashamed need and want and love in that hand and that arm.

- The way their hands just found together automatically. I think of Imerati and Merrill both as very much averse to touch from strangers but deeply attached to touch from those they cherish. I think they always hold hands whenever they even have the slightest opportunity. It’s just so nice to feel that someone is there, you know?

- Imerati externalizes a lot of her self into the makeup she typically wears. She thinks of the exact shade of purple she has chosen for herself and the way she applies it as especially deliberate and thinks of her self as deliberate. To not wear it feels even more naked and vulnerable to her than her nudity - she (normally) has much less control over her body than she has over her makeup. To show her face so bare to someone is an act of intense trust and a signifier of a deep connection. I like that she is in such a situation in her first kiss with Merrill.

- There is just such a perfect balance of soft tenderness and unashamed desire in their body languages. There is something so good about that. They don’t have to hide or conceal or surpress or explain anything in this moment. It’s something I can hardly put into words that is so beautiful about t4t desire, right? I need everyone who reads this to be aware that those two definitely want to have sex with each other, and believe me when I say they have a lot of sex after they get together. They are absolutely horny for each other. But they also feel infinitely safe in each other’s presence, and that I think really drives their relationship.

- Just in general, do you see Imerati cry because she feels free? Because she feels right? Because she feels worthy? Because she feels loved? Because she feels safe?

Anyhow, it was a delight commissioning from Rinny again. They have a way to capture intimacy that is absolutely unrivaled. You should consider commissioning from them as well