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2goth2moth · 3 years

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Ink and Salt (GN!Squidperson x M!Human, NSFW)

Once again, big thanks to @xo-philia for beta-reading this :-)

Word count: 3257

Includes: Non-human genitalia of the tentacle variety, d/s undertones, praise kink, self-lubrication

Nothing Tilu ever did was subtle. No one could ever really tell whether it was natural or an extremely dedicated choice, but they certainly let it into every part of their life. The way they flirted was no different.

“Wanna make out?”

Only mildly surprised, Blair glanced at them over the top of his book. They were stretched out on their stomach across the floor in front of him, propping themself up on their elbows. “I thought you wanted to take a nap.”

“Yeahhh, I did,” they said with a luxuriant stretch. “But I got distracted by the cute boy sitting in front of me. And now I want to kiss him.”

Blair felt his face heat up. No matter how long he knew Tilu, their bluntness never failed to fluster him. He put a bookmark in between the pages of his novel before setting it on the desk he was sitting at. “Really?”

Tilu laughed, pushing themself back until they were sitting up, cross-legged. “You have to stop asking me that every time I want you. I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t want to kiss you. Do you want to?”

Blair nodded feebly, getting off his chair and sitting on the floor in front of them. Sitting on the same level made their already significant height difference even more pronounced. Even standing over a foot taller and with Tilu’s head barely reaching his chin where they sat, he still felt like they were towering over him. The markings that ran, jagged and electric, over their skin made them seem larger than life, an unintentional intimidation that was made more difficult for him to bear because of how much he adored them.

A hard fingernail made contact with his forehead. “You’re freaking out, I can tell.” Tilu brought their hand down to cradle Blair’s face, stroking his jaw affectionately. “Don’t overthink this. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“No!” Blair broke in, grabbing Tilu’s hands in his. ”I want to! I just…” He took a deep break to steady himself. “You’re so beautiful. I want to be good for you.”

A cool blue flush dusted Tilu’s face and ears. It rose prettily on their snow-white skin, contrasting with the rich wine-red of their markings. “You’re so fucking cute. Just get over here and kiss me already.”

He obeyed. Tilu’s hands found their way to his face again as their lips met. Their mouth was cool against Blair’s, and he shivered as the tip of their tongue traced the seam of his lips. Small, round fingertips caressed the delicate skin behind his ears as he opened his mouth to Tilu. Their tongue was long, and dextrous like the rest of them. It filled Blair’s mouth, flicking around his throat and palate, tracing over his teeth. He sucked on it gently, eyes fluttering at the feeling. His hands came to rest on their waist, stroking up and down their sides, dipping fingers up under the crop top they were wearing. Both of them were moaning softly and Blair could feel spit dripping from the edge of his mouth.

Tilu pulled away from him, leaving him slack-jawed and panting. They had translucent black saliva smeared around their lips. He was unbelievably pleased at the thought of himself matching. “I want to keep going.”

The question was unsaid but fully understood. “Yes please.” He whispered.

Tilu moved back in to kiss him again. It was sloppy, and their small, sharp teeth dug into his lips as they moved together. They shoved their hands up underneath his shirt, scratching over his ribcage and chest, pausing to lightly play with his nipples. He moaned again, loudly, and pulled back enough to let Tilu take off his shirt. His own hands found their torso, and began tracing over their markings. Dark red, spidery, scratchy things, they burst at the centre of their belly, curled over their delicate collarbones, framed pitch black eyes. He let one hand dip low enough to trace over the markings that rose above the waistband of their shorts. Even though he couldn’t see the rest, he knew that they marked the centre of their scalp and ran down their spine, and his mouth watered.

Clearly getting impatient, Tilu pushed him roughly. “Lie back.” They quickly stripped off their shirt, revealing an expanse of quartz-like skin. They ran their hands over their chest and abdomen, uninterrupted by nipples or a navel. “I want to ride your face and your cock.” Their shorts were next, a thin rivulet of black liquid dripping from a small slit in their pelvis down the inside of one thigh. “Take your pants off too, I’ll stain them.”

Blair rushed to obey, kicking his pants off his legs before settling on his back. His cock was half-hard already, lying flushed and sweet against the bottom of his stomach. Tilu shuffled over to straddle his chest first. They grasped his chin firmly, turning his head from side-to-side slightly, as if appraising a piece of art. A small thumb was shoved between his willing teeth. Blair sucked on it softly and thought that he would die a happy man if this was the last thing he ever saw.

“Good boy,” they cooed down at him, that pretty blue blush spreading to their shoulders and chest. “Are you ready?”

He nodded eagerly. Tilu pulled their thumb from his mouth with a quiet pop, the digit still attached to Blair’s mouth with a string of spit, and repositioned themself over his face. More black fluid was leaking out of them, slicking their public bone, running into the creases of their thighs. It smeared itself into the tacky mess of saliva already covering his face as they lowered their hips over his mouth. Blair flicked his tongue out to lap some of it up, the taste strong and salty. He continued running his tongue over their skin, doing his best to clean all the dark fluid up, not yet teasing their sheath. Tilu rocked their hips against his face in small, insistent circles. His adoring touch redoubled, brushing soft kisses and sucking small blue bruises anywhere his lips could find purchase. Still, as much as he wanted to, he didn’t start on their sheath. A tight grip in his hair broke Blair’s concentration and he pulled back, gasping, as far as he could.

Glassy black eyes stared down at him over the smooth milky stretch of their body. “Come on, baby. Don’t you want me to ride you?” Tilu smirked playfully at him, leaning back to play with the head of his cock. Blair let out a strangled moan, simultaneously nodding his head and trying to buck his hips into their hand. “You do, don’t you?” It was punctuated by a single rough grind down on his face. “Well, you have to get me ready first.”

With a nod and a whimper, Blair dove back in, now focusing all his energy on their sheath. Tonguing at the tender skin at the opening, he felt more inky liquid spill into his mouth, staining his lips and leaking out of the corners. He could feel Tilu getting more turned on in the way they rode his race more aggressively and sweet sounds of pleasure rose up from their throat. As he kept working them over, the tip of a cool, slick appendage emerged to probe his mouth. Blair opened his lips to let it in. It roamed his mouth, caressing the inside of his cheeks, wrapping around his tongue. He let it slip into his throat, tongue free to continue working at Tilu’s soft skin. More tentacles began slipping out of their sheath as he gently worked it open with his mouth.

“That’s right, baby,” Tilu murmured. They began running their whole hand up and down his hard length. “You’re such a good boy for me, aren’t you?” Their voice had gone soft and breathy in that lovely way it always did when they felt good. Blair could feel himself flush under their sweet words and touches, and he hummed around the tentacles slowly filling his mouth. There was no doubt that he looked like a complete mess: cock stiff and leaking on his belly, eyes full of tears, face and neck smeared in black slick and spit.

The way Tilu’s tentacles looked now was clear evidence of their pleasure. Teased out from their slit by Blair’s hot tongue, they bloomed like an anemone, gently waving about and stroking his face. His eyes rolled back in his head as more of them breached his mouth, stretching his jaw almost painfully, slowly fucking his throat. Moans escaped his mouth as he suckled on the salty-slick tendrils. A foggy haze was beginning to fill his head, senses overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of what he was feeling. The rich, briny scent of the black liquid, the pressure of tentacles filling his mouth, the rocking of their hips onto his face, the feather-light strokes on his dick. Tilu still pinned him to the floor with that bottomless gaze, although it now fluttered with every lap of his tongue.

Small fingers closed around the base of Blair’s cock with shocking force. His whole body tensed up and he moaned loudly, though the sound was muffled by the writhing mass of tentacles in his mouth. Tilu backed up from his face to straddle his stomach. They cradled his face lovingly, spreading the thick black slick around his mouth. Emotional tears leaked from his eyes and they wiped them away with a gentle hand. “Look at you. You’re so lovely, you know?” The way they continued touching, as if he were something to be treasured, nearly reduced him into a puddle. “I want to ride your cock now. Let’s see how much lovelier I can make you, hmm?”

“Oh my god, yes please,” Blair begged, squirming helplessly beneath Tilu. His desperation was met with a pleased smile that was filled to bursting with affection and needle-sharp teeth. They leaned down to kiss him sloppily. One hand worked over his dick in slow, teasing strokes as that long tongue licked deep inside his mouth again.

“I’m gonna make you cum so fucking hard,” Tilu purred against Blair’s mouth with one last kiss. They positioned their sheath, now open and surrounded by tendrils, over his steadily leaking cock. The tentacles curled sweetly around his hard length, like tongues and fingers in one, running along his shaft and just barely breaching the slit at the head. Sharp bolts of pleasure shot through his body, burning through his ribcage and making his toes and spine curl. A high-pitched whine tore from his throat. Tilu planted their hands on his chest, nails digging into the soft flesh above his nipples, and braced themself to lower down onto his cock.

Even heavily slicked and with their tentacles fully extended, the size difference between Blair and Tilu made this a delicate process. Pointed teeth stuck out over the ridge of their lip as they bit down hard enough to draw icy-blue blood, face a cool-flushed mask of concentration. The head of Blair’s cock pressed hotly into their sheath, the stretch just bordering on painful. It took all of Blair’s self-control to stay still under their body, effort betrayed only by breathy gasps and a lightly jumping muscle in his abdomen. The slick pressure that engulfed him felt unbelievably good. Easing down a little bit more sent Tilu’s head arching back violently with the beginnings of a strangled cry.

“Fuck, you’re so good like this,” they said through clenched teeth. “So patient. Just a little longer, okay?”

Blair nodded, moving his hands to rub reassuring circles into their calves. Tilu’s head being thrown back gave him an excellent view of the pearly skin of his torso. The starburst of dark red on their stomach dipped and rolled with their heaving breaths as they lowered themself the rest of the way down his shaft.

When his cock was fully seated inside of them, Tilu exhaled shakily, loosening their grip on Blair’s chest. Small red crescent-moons mark the swell of his chest where their hands had been gripping for dear life. They apologetically soothed the marks with their cool fingertips, rubbing the divots flat before ghosting their hands over his nipples. Teasing the nubs up to hard pebbles with feather-light touches, they worked over his tender flesh before giving an experimental roll of their hips. The movement dragged Blair’s cockhead against the slick walls of TIlu’s sheath. A bolt of pleasure shot through Blair’s body, drawing a long, low groan out of him. Another roll splintered the sound in his throat and drew the fluttering muscles in his belly taut. The look of stubborn concentration melted off of Tilu’s face, being replaced by one of confidence and pleasure. Blue flush now traced down their throat, chest and shoulders, as well as staining their face and ears.

Tilu stared down at him with a cocky smile. They pinched at his pebbled nipples, hard, and ground down onto his dick again. Their tentacles started winding around the shaft of his dick in earnest now, squeezing around the slickened skin instead of just teasing it. Leaning forward enough to place their lips against his ear, they whispered, “I want to make you cum so hard that you forget your own name.” Blair keened loudly, arching into them, nails digging into the meat of their calves. A single tendril snaked down to cup his balls. “Get fucking ready, baby.”

They rose up on their knees, his cock sliding out of them until the tip was the only thing stretching them open, before slamming back down. The feeling set both of them moaning loudly and Tilu began fucking themself on Blair’s cock properly. Their legs spread over his hips gave him a mouthwatering view of the inky black spread over them and the azure hickies that he left on their tender inner thighs while he ate them out. “You’re- AH- so beautiful!” The cool walls of their sheath were squeezing him tightly, the rest of his shaft and balls wrapped in slippery tentacles, nipples still being roughly worked over in skillful hands. His moans were quickly turning into cries in the face of such extreme pleasure.

A particularly hard grind sent Tilu’s black-glass eyes rolling back, the surfaces wet with tears. They moaned wantonly, long tongue lolling out of the corner of their mouth. “God, I love your cock so much!”

Hands wrapped around Blair’s wrists where they were still gripping into Tilu’s calves, wrenching them upwards so that he could hold onto their hips. He grabbed into the soft flesh, holding on as if they were a rock in a stormy sea. He could feel the muscles under their skin flex with every motion. Sparks were shooting through his blood, curling his toes and drawing desperate sounds from his mouth. “Oh shit! Slow down. Ple-ease! I’m about to cum!”

“Cum inside me, baby.”

Blair’s entire body was tensed up, but Tilu didn’t let up. They started bouncing even harder, even faster, walls squeezing around him. Leaning down to his chest, they wrapped their lips around his left nipple, keeping their hand teasing his right. Sharp, needle-like teeth bit around the sensitive bud, careful not to break skin, the pain soothed by flicks of their slick tongue. Translucent spit leaked out around their mouth, creating a mess across his chest. Their hips began stuttering on him but they refused to let up. Riding his cock with even more intensity, they bit down on his swollen nipple at the same time as a tentacle wrapped tight around his balls.

“Ah, I’m gonna...AHH!” The pleasure coming at Blair from every direction was too much and it tipped him over the edge. His hips stuttered deeper into Tilu’s sheath once, twice, before he came impossibly hard, near-screaming out in pleasure.

Tilu continued bouncing on his length, even as he spasmed with overstimulation. Blair could feel them getting ready to climax as their tentacles started writhing wildly and their chest began heaving even harder. Sweet, high moans were spilling rapidly from their lips, mixed in with curses and little words of praise.

“Fuck, just look at you. So gorgeous.” They dragged the nail of their pointer finger through the tacky mess of slick and spit on his face. “You look so damn good, even all filthy like this. I’ve never met someone as pretty as you.” Tilu always got sappy when they were about to cum. Sinking all the way down onto his softening cock, the tentacles splayed out like the petals of a chrysanthemum and the walls of their sheath constricted even tighter around him. Their back arched dramatically, and they came with a high-pitched whine. “FUCK!”

Blair rubbed his thumbs into the meat of their hips, feeling pulsing aftershocks go through them, the overstimulation making him flinch. They leaned down against his chest and kissed him deeply.

“Mmm, that was good,” Tilu murmured against his lips, smiling needle-toothed and affectionate. Rising up on their knees, both they and Blair groaned quietly as they pulled off of him. He looked filthy. Saliva and slick were drying in dark smears on his face, chest, and crotch, and he was still sweaty and panting. His eyes were foggy and happy as he sat up.

TIlu were barely in better shape. Thick, jet-black liquid, the remains of their orgasm, leaked out of their sheath, marbling grey with Blair’s semen. The mess covered the hickies on their legs, and almost their entire body was flushed, the cool colour lovely against their red markings. Their thigh muscles quivered from the stress of holding themself up for so long, and when they moved to sit beside him, he could see their knees were turning blue as well. Even so, their eyes were soft and warm, and they looked thoroughly content.

His heart still squeezed with regret. “Tilu, your knees,” Blair said, reaching out to catch one of their hands and bring it to his lips. He kissed their knuckles, then their fingertips, then their palm with a kind of apologetic reverence, settling the curve of his jaw against the inside of their wrist. “I’m sorry, I should have thought to put something down for you to kneel on.”

“Shhhh,” they chided, rubbing lightly behind his ear. “Don’t be silly. I could have put something down too, if I’d wanted to. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you were wonderful.”

Blair felt his face heat up again at their soft words. He leaned against their cool wrist, humming into the delicate skin there. “Okay,” he whispered. “You were wonderful too. You look very pretty right now. Like this”

Tilu smirked at him. “‘Like this’? Bruised and blushing and dripping cum, with all of my tentacles out?”

“No!” Blair blurted out. “I mean...yes, but I meant...satisfied? Happy. You look happy right now. I like seeing you like this.”

They stilled for a breath before surging forward and wrapping their arms around him. “You’re a goddamn sap, you know that?” They said, turning their head to the side so that their face was nestled into the side of his neck. “I also love you so, so, so much.” Tilu kissed his throat once- ever-so softly, ever-so sweetly- before standing up, tentacles starting to re-sheath themselves, and offering Blair their hand. “Shower with me?”

He looked up at his lover, standing there beautiful and happy, and he nodded.

#monster fucker #monster lover #exophilia #terato #enthusiastic consent #smut #monster x human #minors do not interact #terfs dont fucking touch #seriously if i see a fucking terf i'll fight you

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snarkwrites · 3 years

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so, i have come with an idea that came from watching the deleted scenes from dazed and confused. slater has stated that “it’s about quality, not quantity”. and when i tell you my mind had a field day with that🥵🥵whew! the man totally fucks and knows how to make it amazing, i just know it! - ❤️

AHHH OMFG THAT LINE. It invokes so many thots within me. So many, holy shit. And here you are, blessing me with a chance to play out these thots of mine. I love you so so so so so so much, angel.

Let's take this a step further shall we? How about Slater... deflowering a virgin... Mhm. I'm going there. Same reader/you from the last Ron Slater ask, btw. This should be fun af.

LIFE EDIT: This is kind of an alternate take. Kind of a what if Ron x you blew off the party at the moon tower and went back to have a little fun at his place all fucking night instead... So. yeahhh.

Warnings:

Sexual content ; oral sex, male giving... If you're not 18+ this post ain't for you, keep it moving, kiddos. If you choose to stay after this warning, that's your choice.

TAGGING:

@chasingeverybreakingwave - bc Ron fucking Slater, bb. And I love you and I wanted you to see this, lmaooo. I may be one step closer to caving in and doing 'the thing'.

@twistnet - Bc I love you and our talks ahh.. inspired this.

OTHER STUFF:

[ FAQ - MULTIFANDOM TAG LIST ]

Ron Slater & first time;

Things were getting a little heated. The tension between you two couldn't get any thicker if you tried to make it so. His hands were literally all over you. You had two hickies already and there was absolutely no way you were hiding either of them later and you fucking loved it...

The discussion in Pickford's car turned to sex for whatever reason and Dawson, as per usual, was being a dick. When Ron popped off at Dawson about preferring quality over quantity, it had you conflicted because see... You were still a virgin. So you figured that given you knew for a fact that Ron wasn't, this alone would rule you out.

And the way it kind of invaded your brain and got to you, that had you a little nervous. Had you bitten off more than you could chew? What if things went further and you were really bad in bed? And then, another thought... a bigger one, might I add, that hit you with the force of a speeding car at a brick wall...

,, Wait a minute... I'm actually thinking about sex with him. No, I've made up my mind. I want him. If I'm gonna do this, it's gonna be with him. Nobody else." the thought took over. You were so caught up in the realization that yes, you absolutely wanted to give up your virginity to Ron Slater that you failed to miss when he nudged you and asked you if you agreed. But as soon as you realized, you decided you better just get the truth out there and do it now.

"I wouldn't know actually, kind of still a virgin." you answered, shrugging it off because in the grand scheme of things, it really didn't matter at all.

When Dawson nearly choked on his beer and Ron swallowed hard, fixing his eyes on you as he bit his lip and seemed to get lost in his own thoughts for a few seconds, you cleared your throat, speaking up to provide your own input, "But if I were picking a side here, yeah. I'd have to say I'd want quality over quantity. Nobody wants it to last all night when the guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, right?" you gave Dawson a pointed smirk as you said it, almost mocking him for his earlier statement about Ron and not being past the sniffing butts stage when it came to the ladies.

Dawson mimicked you before turning to face the front of the car again and once he had turned his back, you flipped him off.

Beside you, Ron was staring. You could feel his eyes as they fixed on you. Looking you up and down. Almost as if he were puzzled by what you'd admitted.

"A virgin, sweetheart?" Ron's breath was warm against your ear. A shiver passed through your body and you bit down on your lip as his hand settled on your bare thigh. Squeezing. Moving slowly up the insides and making you barely able to stop a whimper. You locked eyes with him and nodded, swallowing hard as you did so. Leaning in to whisper quietly, "It's not like it's a bad thing."

"Oh, it definitely ain't." Ron answered. His hand crept just a little higher. His breath caught in his throat and under the glow of a passing streetlamp shining through the back glass as the car passed beneath it, you could see the way his pupils were darkened. The way he licked his lips as he continued to fuck you with his eyes.

,, okay, since he's not weirded out..." your brain chimed in. And before you could stop yourself, you were whispering against the shell of his ear again, "But.. I'm looking to change that." as your hand drifted down, settling over the way he strained at his jeans already. He shifted around as covertly as possible, bucking himself against your hand. He panted against your ear in response, "You are, huh? Thinkin about anybody in particular, sweetheart? Because I know a guy..." he pulled away, tongue dragging slowly over his lips. Your breath caught in your throat because as he did this, his hand crept up the insides of your thighs even higher and settled palm down against soaked fabric. Squeezing your throbbing sex and almost making you moan as you rocked against his hand clumsily.

"You do, hm? What if I said you were the one I had in mind?" you ghosted your palm over the way his cock twitched, straining even tighter against his jeans.

He bit back a moan, just barely. Bucked himself upward against your moving hand. Managing to pant against the shell of your ear a frenzied warning. "When I get you alone, sweetheart... Fuck." as the movement of your palm over the bulge sped up clumsily.

"Stop the car, man!" Ron practically yelled it out at Pickford and Pickford slammed on the brakes next to a little yellow house. Very cookie cutter. Once the car was stopped, Ron was punching the back of Dawson's seat. "Lemme out, man. I, uh.. I forgot somethin in my room earlier. You wanna come in with me, princess?" he gazed back at you and you nodded. Your panties flooding all over again as the slick pooled and coated the insides of your thighs. Dawson got out to let Ron out and Ron leaned back into the car, scooping you out. Taking off at a laughing run towards the side of the house.

Putting your back against the side of the house as he stopped next to a window. His hands all over you and your legs circling his waist as his mouth dove against yours. Slowly. Deliberately. Kisses so deep that you almost forgot where you ended and he began, let alone remembering to breathe properly. Just when you were starting to get lightheaded, he broke the kiss, pulling away to stare at you.

The hunger in his eyes was something you'd never seen before. Ever. He bit his lip and nodded to the window. "I'm gonna have t' put you through my window, darlin. Don't wanna hear my ma bitchin..."

You nodded. Taking a shaky and deep breath. Your heart was racing. Your stomach was flipping and flopping lazily. You laughed softly, grabbing him by the chin and pulling his mouth back against yours. "Don't you want me, baby?"

"Fuck yeah." he chuckled into the kiss. After a few seconds, the two of you managed to tumble through his open bedroom window and the second you had, all bets were off. His hands were tugging your shirt up over your head and then they were all over you and you were trying to pull off his shirt as your back hit the mattress and he followed your body down. Propping on an elbow as he settled on his side beside you in the bed, staring down at you. In awe. Open adoration and desire.

"We're not makin it to the party tonight, darlin." and you whimpered at his words, taking a few deep breaths. "That's fine with me."

"I just really wanna take my time with you." he mumbled as he positioned himself between your legs, capturing both of your hands above your head in one of his own, his mouth crashing against yours, straying from it to ghost down your neck. Teeth scraping against skin. Tugging. Leaving little bites behind as he muttered huskily against it, "Fuck." and rocked himself right into you.

You raised one of your hands, shakily going for the button on his jeans and he rose up, slipping off the bed. Letting his jeans pool at his ankles. Giving his thick cock a pump or two as he stared down at you hungrily. Licking his lips real slow as he sank down. Working his way up your body, his hand disappearing between the two of you so he could work the buttons on your cut offs free. Tugging them down slowly, a smile playing at his lips when you came alive beneath him because the way he was touching you was all new and completely overwhelming to you. And he absolutely loved that thought.

He went for your bra next and by instinct, you threw your arms up. An attempt to cover yourself. He shook his head, reaching up to lower your arms. A throaty growl escaping his mouth as it dove against yours and his hands moved down to your hips. Hooking in the thin bands of your underwear. Working those down your lower body and marveling at how wet you were for him already. He raised your legs up to his shoulder and locked eyes with you.

"You're so fuckin pretty, angel. So fuckin pretty." his breath tickled your skin as his mouth worked up your leg. That thick tongue making you grip the blanket on his bed before he was even anywhere close to where you wanted him most. As soon as his eyes settled on your slickened thighs, he gazed up at you. Eyes filled with lust. When his tongue dragged over the inside of your thigh and you felt him stop.. sink his teeth into your skin to leave another mark behind, you reached down, fingers tangling in long dark hair. Trying to guide his mouth.

One of his hands settled on your hip and he rolled his tongue over your dripping center. Sucking in a breath and then exhaling. The way it felt cool against your skin had goosebumps forming over your body and he muttered lazily against your sex, "Fuck you're so wet. So fuckin wet. Kinda makes me wanna stay buried down here all night."

"Fuck." you moaned out, back arching away from the mattress as his tongue and fingers slipped into your tight hole, stretching you out. Getting you ready for everything he planned to do to you tonight.

As his tongue twisted and curled and kept the same pace as his fingers, you moaned. Struggled to breath on more than one occasion. Tried to remember that his mother was in the house and you had to at least try to be quiet.

But something told you that Ron Slater was about to make you staying quiet harder than you'd ever imagine...That tonight was going to be a very long and very fun night.

#Anonymous

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theabominableblogger · 7 years

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Rewatching “Revenge of the Sith”

Ohhhh yeahhh, I’m going there.

My apologies in advance because this post is so long...

*silently boogies out to 20th Century Fox jingle and ends up throwing popcorn everywhere*

*mouths along to opening theme*

WAR!

“Evil is everywhere.” Dude, this is Star Wars we’re talking about...

Just a heads up, I am so freaking glad that we have The Clone Wars because honestly, it has a lot more flowing character development when it comes from jumping from “Attack of the Clones” to this movie, especially Anakin.

Lens flare!

Holy snot how many Republic ships are there?!? Did the Separatists come with every single ship imaginable? Is that why?

Aaaaand that’s a dead body.

The hell are those things?

“Nothing too fancy.” Says the man [Obi-Wan] who dramatically drops his robes whenever possible.

*imitates the buzz droids*

“IN THE NAME OF-” Finish the sentence, Obi-Wan!

R2′s taser thingy looks like the Twelfth Doctor’s sonic screwdriver.

What if they didn’t notice the shield in time?

Boom! End of saga. Cue end credits music.

Ohhhh this asshole.

WHAAAATTT’SS THE SITUATION, CAPTAINNNN???

*imitates the droids saying “Roger roger”*

How come Anakin and Obi-Wan aren’t getting jostled around when the elevator car first stops?

*quotes the entire “No loose wire jokes” conversation in the elevator*

Is that the same freaking chair that’s gonna pop up in “Return of the Jedi?”

Anakin and Obi-Wan fight Dooku but every time their lightsabers clash, it’s Obi-Wan going “Hello there”

Did Dooku just backwards kick Anakin away? Oh my God...

DEW IT

*Anakin kills Count Dooku* Well done, prequels. You done didn’t use your Christopher Lee effectively enough.

ALL BATTERIES FIRE, FIRE!

Wilhelm Scream!

*imitates droid saying “Reversing stabilizers...”*

Holy crap, you can actually see Grievous’s face kind of twitching with anger when he commands the droids to level out the ship. Dang.

Freaking Obi-Wan’s little yell of horror when he wakes up...

*ugly cackles*

*quotes the entire ray shields scene*

I cannot freaking believe that the TV show took the time to make freaking sure that Anakin never met Grievous until this movie.

Actually, yes I can. They have a goddamn script continuity department.

How come one of them didn’t take one of the electrostaffs?

The Separatist flagship just tore in half when it entered the atmosphere and yet I remain completely unfazed.

“8 plus 16...” Pfftt, what the heck does that mean?

Guys, I think I found the origin for the Dramatic Hair Flop of Angst in TCW

Pretty sure that’s the Millenium Falcon at the bottom hangar

“Oh, I’m not brave enough for politics.” *cough cough*

Obi-Wan gets a whole freaking bus to himself. Chaos will ensue.

How has no one noticed Padme just hanging out next to one of the pillars?

“There were whispers... that you [Anakin] had been killed...” Really?

Anakin’s reaction to Padme telling him that she’s pregnant is actually really good.

Wasn’t there like a deleted interaction where Anakin first accused Padme of sleeping with someone else while he was gone but then they decided that was not that great of an idea?

The music that plays when Grievous exits the shuttle is pretty sweet

*imitates Grievous saying “Yes, Lord Sidious?”*

*claps with each word* This is not how you write romance, [George] Lucas!

Oh I didn’t realize that you could actually hear Anakin’s robotic arm move when he puts his face in his hands

“How long is it gonna take before we start being honest with each other?” You [Padme] should have asked that before you two got hitched in the first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, the absolute worst therapy lesson in the history of Star Wars: Yoda telling Anakin to basically get over himself and accept the sudden, incoming death of the people he loves.

“What must I do, Master Yoda?” MOTHEREFFING IGNORE HIM!

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” NOOO, OH MY GOD...

There’s actually a whole video by Pop Culture Detective that went into detail how terrible the Jedi Council were when it came to giving Anakin emotional support.

“Be careful of your friend Palpatine.” And your pal, Friend-patine.

I just noticed that there are less chairs in the Jedi Council room

“The Council doesn’t like it when he [Palpatine] interferes with Jedi affairs.” Then why the heck don’t they confront Palpatine about it?

Holy crap, I just realized that this movie came out 13 years ago.

“Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo...” Was that really “holding” though?

Anakin’s delivery of “At last!” sounds like Darth Maul when he said “At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi” in the first movie.

This entire opera scene should be a dead give away to Anakin learning about Palpatine being the Sith Lord. The minute Palpatine even said the word “Sith” should have raised a few red flags...

This entire Darth Plaguesis explanation is so good and ominous. Just the minute Palpatine finishes the story and tells Anakin that there are other ways to gain that sort of power, you can just gradually feel the dread setting in for the rest of the movie. You just know something bad is gonna happen (besides Anakin becoming Darth Vader)...

Look at the way Obi-Wan’s sitting in his chair!

Oh my God... the Wookies just did a Tarzan yell...

Headcanon: he’s [Anakin] checking for updates about the Siege of Mandalore

OK, everyone craps on the Utapau storyline with the fight scene between Obi-Wan and Grievous but I actually think this is one of the best parts in the movie.

I love the design for the Pau’ans

GUYSSS I LOVE BOGA SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!

Someone get me a plush animal of her on my desk pronto!

HELLO THERE!

GENERAL KENOBIII... YOU ARE A BOLD ONE...

That pose though!

That spinning helicopter move Grievous does while stalking toward Obi-Wan was always really cool to me. A little extra, but still cool.

ARMY OR NOT... YOU MUST REALIZE... YOU ARE DOOMED!

Oh I don’t think so!

*imitates Obi-Wan using the Force to throw Grievous*

Wait, so how many times has Cody had to hold onto Obi-Wan’s lightsaber when Obi-Wan freaking drops it?

Death Star plans?

Big question: so how old is Anakin here? He’s 19/20 in “Attack of the Clones” and there’s at least a one or two year time jump in S3 of TCW.

Yo, that means he was like late 30s/early 40s when he died in “Return of the Jedi.” Well shoot, man...

Yeah, Obi-Wan, let’s freaking kick the crazy homicidal cyborg. Great idea.

Is Grievous just covered in gasoline or something because he just went up in flames *snaps* just like that.

Ohhhh this scene with Anakin and Padme looking at the windows of their respective places is really good...

Look at freaking Anakin here!

George Lucas deserves any and all sins for the bad dialogue for Anakin because Hayden Christensen can really act when he’s not given any dialogue and he’s just told to react.

So, with that, henceforth, there shall be no dissing Hayden Christensen on my blog.

I AM THE SENATE!

Dramatic window break!

Palpatine’s lightsaber just freaking deactivated as soon as Windu kicked it out the window

Wowwww... the prosthetics on Palpatine look.. bad....

UNLIMITED.... POOWEEERRRRR!!!

I just realized that Anakin kind of walks over to Palpatine on his knees before he pledges himself to Palpatine

Why Darth “Vader” though? Is there any special reasoning for that?

AN: Holy crap, there’s an hour left and Anakin has just turned to the Dark Side...

Pfftttt....

THESE SHOTS THOUGH

Man, I need to download more tracks from this soundtrack...

You can tell that that’s green screen behind Cody

*in best Palpatine impression* Execute Order 66!

Nooooooooooooo, Boga!

Aaaaand everyone dies and it sucks now!

Ughh, Aayla Secura...

NOOOOOOOOOO PLO KOONN!

What planet is that?

Here’s my question: in Rebels, how the heck did Thrawn get Gree’s helmet? Was there an imperial campaign out on Kashyyyk and he found it somewhere?

That small matte painting shot of the Jedi Temple burning is actually really pretty now that I see it again

Yooooo can we talk about this padawan though?

Kashyyyk has twin moons...

So what happens to Chewie after this and before the Han Solo movie?

Heeeyyyyyyy I know that kind of ship!

“Have faith, my love [Padme]...” Uhhhh... Padme should have picked up on how... off that line was

How has NO ONE in the Senate (besides Organa and probably Mon Mothma) picked up on Padme’s pregnancy?

*imitates Palpatine* Mustafaaarrrrr....

“Could be a trap.” It’s Star Wars. There’s always a trap.

What’s that planet right next to Mustafar?

Random xylophone scales!

Yoda is taking no prisoners!

Where are the lightsaber/balster holes in the younglings? Yoda said that they were probably killed by lightsaber so where are the marks on their bodies?

Yellow eyes...

“So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause.” Best. line. Ever. Someone send flowers and chocolates to Natalie Portman.

“I've recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away.” Aaaagghh and we see it in Rebels and in the Last Padawan comic!

Don’t mind me casually dying

I just noticed that gradually throughout this movie, you can see Obi-Wan get grey hairs in his sideburns

*Obi-Wan sneaks onto Padme’s ship to Mustafar* Where did he come from?!?

“You [Darth Vader] have restored peace and balance to the galaxy.” *in best Anakin voice* OK... now what?

“And together, you [Padme] and I [Anakin] can rule the galaxy! We can make things the way we want them to be!” Wow, “The Last Jedi” is just smackin’ me in the face right now

Anakin... you’re breaking my heart!

That is just extremely bad timing on Obi-Wan’s part

YOU HAVE DONE THAT YOURSELF!

Your new Empire?!?

DEMOCRACY!

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” A what?

That’s a pretty nasty lisp you have there. Might wanna do something about that.

You know how this Yoda vs. Palpatine fight could be more amazing? Just add helium

Honestly, for the BIG DEAL fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan, it just goes on for a little bit too long.

Plus when it’s intercut with the Yoda vs. Palpatine, the latter is way more entertaining (hello, two most powerful peope going head to head with actual Force lightning being involved?)

Are they [Anakin and Obi-Wan] just kicking each other with the Force now? Wow...

NOT EVEN HITTING EACH OTHER!

Seriously, they’re just banging their lightsabers together and calling that a fight. C’mon... actually try to hit the opponent!

Duel of the Fates!

*Palpatine throws the Senate chairs at Yoda with the Force* So I threw the Senate at him!

Honestly, you could cut out this whole balance thing on the sinking balcony and mining buildings/walkways

Commander Fox?

ExPLOsions...

Noooo... cut this out...

“Into exile, I [Yoda] must go. Failed, I have.” And yet people complain about Luke doing the exact same thing in the sequel trilogy

You’re not even trying to hit each other!

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL!

IT’S OVER, ANAKIN! I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!

YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!

“You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.” Uuuggghhhh....

I actually read somewhere that Ewan McGregor actually asked George Lucas to change the line to past tense instead of the original present tense. Which is sad, so thanks Ewan.

Can’t you just put out the fire with the Force?

How did 3PO and R2 get an unconscious Padme on board?

Where is this?

*Palpatine’s shuttle lands in Coruscant* It was a dark and stormy night...

Y’know, at this point, me comparing Anakin being repaired and transformed into Darth Vader and the creation of Frakenstein’s monster is almost inevitable at this point...

Stupid question, but what’s the significance of the names “Luke” and “Leia” concerning the themes present in the movies? Or is that up to people like me who enjoy the meta to find that out?

He [Darth Vader] just killed that medical droid next to him...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Do not want....

“...[Qui Gon] learned the path to immortality...” In the TV show!

I like how the last line in this freaking movie is “Oh no!” and it’s from 3PO...

Triceratops rams!

The design for Padme’s funeral garb is actually Iain McCaig’s favorite concept art

How did they develop TIE fighters so quickly?

Oh my God, the dude they got to play Tarkin... oh God...

Definitely not Peter Cushing

*gasp* Leia’s theme!

Random eopie noise!

Oh my God, “Binary Suns”...

Obi-Wan’s like “Great, now I gotta help a pair of random, separate Force-sensitive teenagers and their astromechs in the near future...”

Wait, they put Ewan McGregor in top billing?

“With Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu” Thamuel El Jackthson!

Holy crap, I forgot Joel Edgerton plays young Uncle Owen

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

o hai rayfa

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”.

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude.

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

phew. im glad Maya’s ok.

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov.

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

...a tasty... hash house

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

oh well that was abrupt

meh, onwards to the tomb

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts.

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames.

ooh i like that last one though

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice.

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

oh ok he didnt say anything

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad?

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you?

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

#sulking over SOJ #im gonna do this; I'm gonna finish it. i swear.]

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