#now that i think abt it though the ART of them i managed to post so far is just silly and cute. WELL THAT ENDS NOW

[carcarrot]

do i really want to make individual drinks again

[arolesbianism]

I’ve been having a rough few days, but I’ve been feeling a bit better so I decided to make some lil thingies for some spiraling upwards kitties :3

[allfearstofallto]

saw yr posts abt submissive yanderes, and hear me out, tartaglia. i mean this from the bottom of my heart he is the one that wants you to do things to him, and while that’s not exactly submission i think it’s close enough?

just… in my mind he wants anything you’ll give him, he’ll give his body up to you, even if you punch and kick him, he takes it, sure he’d rather you treat him the way he would (does?) you, but any touch you give makes him feel like a wild animal.

tartaglia, who just needs you. idek i’m losing my train of thought 🙏

I don't think it's exactly what you wanted, but I got carried away and wrote masochist Childe👉🏾👈🏾. I hope that's okay!!! Personally, as a woman who loves femdom, it felt so good to write this though!! It was like I was going back to my roots.

TW: NSF.W Yandere themes, BDSM (bondage, sadism/masochism), violence, nipple play, unprotected sex, finishing inside, dub-con, overstimulation(?), choking

“Hurt me more,” he cooed while looking up at you with big, eyes full of anticipation. Drool leaking from his lips, his cheek was already red and warm from your stinging slap across it, “C’mon, I know you hate me. Now's your chance to treat me like you do.” He'd goad you with that same smug, smirk on his face.

Childe's big strong arms were tied with a rope to the headboard. The material was tight, digging into the flesh of his wrist anytime he'd struggle against them. But despite the aching pain you could imagine he was feeling, he showed a face of hunger, of desire for more.

His cock, large and twitching, was strained against his boxers, begging to be let free from its confines. When you brought another rough slap down across his cheek, you watched it twitch and leak and darken that already deep fabric with his precum, while he trembled with his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

He'd grind his hips up, wanting you to free his aching dick, but you never did. You knew he could cum without it and he did too. Your hand would slide up his chiseled stomach, his body was always slightly colder than what it was supposed to be, and you squeezed one of his pink nipples between your finger tips. As hard as you could. Squeezing and twisting until your hand shook.

Lips clenched together, he muffled his own moans. His cock twitched in his underwear a few more times, the head of it rubbing against the precum he'd already spilled on his boxers .He came like that, the many shots of his semen continuing to soak the cloth until it began to drip down his cock again.

When he stilled from his orgasm, his body still twitching, he smiled at you lovingly. All the disgust you felt towards him still there, you'd turn away without a word.

You never took yourself to be much of a sadist, the idea of it being like a whisper of the night, never being brought to the day, but that was before Childe took you. Locked away in his home, falling victim to his torture that he called love, you felt animosity towards him grow. That animosity would turn into violent fits of rage, ones that he never took seriously. There was no way you could actually hurt a harbinger, especially without a vision, but that didn't stop you from trying. And one fateful day, you actually managed to connect a punch to his jaw.

It was your first time ever punching someone and felt more like you were hitting a brick wall than a person. You shook your sore hand out, immediately regretting what you'd done for the pain it caused you instead. But Childe stood there stiff, a little bruise forming on the side of his face. His eyes had rolled back, body beginning to shutter. His mouth agape, he let out a soft, low moan. You were going to tell him to stop joking around, that he wasn't funny, until he dropped to his knees in front of you, a wet patch forming on the front of his pants. Childe had cum just from your little act of violence.

While he loved the art of fighting. The rush that ending another life gave him, the way his body felt while he was throwing punches, it was an unmatchable adrenaline rush, he never knew he was one for pain. Pain from your hands felt different. It felt pleasurable. A familiar stinging followed by tingles that shot through his body. Only you could do that to him.

“You're incredible, my angel,” he moaned while kissing up your thighs, wanting to do more with this new found knowledge of his.

He had you laid back on the bed, pounding into your tender cunt with little mercy. Each long stroke of his cock made your toes curl from the unwanted pleasure of him hitting your insides. Your legs on his hips, you squeezed the sheets for leverage as you begged for him to stop, or at the very least slow down. He was going to fast, too drunk and clumsy from the satisfaction your dripping pussy was giving him.

Childe’s large hand engulfed your wrist, a feeling you were familiar with. Instead of holding you in place so he could fuck you deeper into the mattress with less struggle from you like you thought he would, he lifted it up and placed your palm to his neck.

“Make me,” he growled, lust clouding his eyes. Uncertainty caused you to tremble for a moment before you realized that this was Childe, nothing you could do could actually hurt him. He was asking for it, even going as far as to lift your legs higher, to thrust into you deeper, to make you try to stop him more.

You squeezed that muscled throat, choking him with the hope that he might actually die, but knowing better. He loved it, his already obnoxious moans were even louder than before. His thrusts felt even more rough, hips slapping against yours as you actually felt yourself growing a little aroused from this and he noticed too. A smirk on his face as he struggled to inhale, but still fucking you at that same brutal pace with those same deep, strokes.

He strained to speak as he tried to tell you he was cumming, his mouth just opening and closing, drooling down his chin. Childe forced his cock balls deep inside of you, going so deep with his length it almost felt uncomfortable. He began to cum, dick twitching like mad against your walls. Soft whimpers and groans would drop from his lips as you didn't let go of him, only squeezing his throat tighter.

His cock didn't get the chance to soften, he stayed hard as he started slow, shallow thrusts into your pussy again. The mixture of the pain of overstimulation and lack of air from your choking has him convulsing, but he didn't pull out, using his own cum as lube.

“Ah…hah…just say you want to milk me dry, my love, I'll keep going,” he managed to grunt through tears, his orange hair sticking to his forehead with sweat.

[furiouskettle]

Your Glottis art always gives me life and now I realize you also do off art... omg... I luv ur art. Can you tell us about your Elsen Ocs? :3c

gkhj awwh thank you!!!! glottis is so good im glad there are glottis appreciators out there

and YES i absolutely can

So i don't have a Whole lot backstory-wise...

Nina's a zone 1 elsen. I've never been able to decide if he's a cow caretaker or if he's a postman, maybe he got a position at the post office at some point? She's been to zone 2 a few times and became enamoured with the plant illustrations in the library books. I only recently came up with her using both she/her and he/him pronouns and it basically sums up to "he/him is business, she/her is casual" which kiiind of means only spencer ever uses she/her for her but she's cool with that. She started to burn trying to escape a specter but Spencer managed to take it down before she went full Burnt. (that's how she met him). The other elsen don't bring attention to her claw hand or the marks on her face cause that would be making a scene.

Spencer's a runaway from zone 3. How did he get out of there? who knows. I think he didn't actually mean to, it's just that some Shenanigans happened. He likes to wander between zones 1 and 2. no clue how he gets around. He... doesn't really have a job, he just pretends to work wherever he ends up.

Unfortunately, being from zone 3, he's still got a sweet tooth. Lucky thing he knows the secret to sugar production! Idk where he found a suitable furnace though. DIY?

He generally steals prey from specters/finishes off specter victims... but he's not above a little murder if he needs to. (stealing their pocket money is a nice bonus).

i was recently chatting abt this with friends and it can basically be summed up as:

I think he might have intended to finish nina off during their first meeting, but they're besties now and she can Never Know About That. anyway he's a lil fucked up. its fine

ALSO FUN FACT THESE OCS TURN 10 THIS YEAR. IVE HAD THEM SINCE 2013 THEY'RE ANCIENT

[surreal-duck]

screw it. midoyuzu sdv au (very long bullet point post warning in advance)

midori inherits his late grandpa's farm. parents' greengrocers shop in the city used to get a good chunk of their crops from there til his passing and the farm was since abandoned

kanata is definitely handling the fishing shop. though he spends more time in the water puka pukaing than actually fishing and manning the store but its fine she manages somehow. when midori gets the fishing rod kanata just straight up pops outta to water to give him the rod and floats away 👍 souma helps out there also

chiaki owns the saloon and bartends even if he does Not drink himself and the only thing that ever plays on tv are tokusatsu shows

as for the others i havent thought abt as much and subject to change. kuro blacksmith with his apprentice tetora maybe . nagisa the museum and library curator (and by extension i think itd be really funny if ibara was a joja executive. mostly to keep an eye on nagisa but also keeping the yzib hostility). eichi is the mayor though keito his vice mayor does most of everything and his boyfriend wataru organizes the town events and such like the valley fair etc!! natsume is the forest wizard w his apprentice sora and tsumugi comes by weekly in that traveling cart thing. madara owns the ranch probably.

everybody else is probably just normal townsfolk, among others hajime and hinata take care of the towns plants n stuff!! tatsumi priest, mayoi is half shadow person and hangs out in the sewer (of which noritama at some point explore together and shinobu befriends and invites to visit the surface). i said i didnt think about this much but thats a lie at this point. mika stays in an atelier in the forest (owned by shu whos in the city but does visit on occassion) to cultivate his own art, still best buds with arashi. jun koga adonis and maybe hiiro part of the adventurers guild, trick5tar are their own lil band!!

some charas r not present most of the time or yet like tori who is off at uni w his longtime academic rival and childhood friend and also now roommate tsukasa. their presence is very important for later trust me. rich family rivalry still remains here (along with military camp Because)

due to tori being at uni and learning independence yuzuru is off of his usual butler work for a while and working in the general store owned by the himemiyas! partly to pass the time partly encouraged to find something new to do outside of his servant duties. he calls and nags at tori regularly to make sure hes fine and such

the request board outside of the store is always a good source for side jobs and one day a request for foraged spring onions is pinned up with a terrifying drawing scribbled on it. midoris head over heels Immediately and she already has a good amount to spare so why not take it

hes probably a week into living in the valley already? while yuzuru had just started working over at the store therefore she wasnt aware of this yuzuru fushimi and finds the very one while looking for who put up the request!! the master artist + fan dynamic goes from then on

other than the usual chitchats and more requests with encouraged atrocious drawings accompanying them, been thinking a good amount of the specific town events that happen through the year!! other misc things are various quests and errands from each of the characters, like helping mika gather cloth or hajime requesting various flowers to brighten up the town

Y1 Spring: egg festival, noritama hanging out, shinobu sweeping the egg hunt; flower dance , as they havent gotten to know each other to well enough to actually dance (just like in the game) (haley please. anyways) its mostly just small talk and maybe including some other side pairings i like djdhhfjdj chiaki with a suspiciously soaked kanata and hina dragging off tetsu

Y1 Summer: acquiring the rusty key from nagisa, noritama sewer exploration and befriending mayoi; luau, nothing special particularly for this one; dance of the moonlight jellies, from here yuzuru and midori get a lot closer playing in the sand and just getting along (a bit like siosai marina)!! probably some background drop for the both of them like takamine gramps' farm and yuzurus actual role as a butler while telling him about tori as well dkhdhdjs. they spot the rare green jellyfish together here too

Y1 Autumn (yeah im calling it autumn sue me): valley fair commences, led by everyones own wataru whos hopping here and there somehow managing three attractions at once. yuzuru obliterates the shooting game; spirits eve, chiaki is desperately being clingy out of fear. just more shenanigans in this one

Y1 Winter: festival of ice!! i kinda want to recreate the snow bunny/cute critter scene in jingle bells here, while the fishing contest isnt even a contest at all except between souma and kanata; feast of the winter star ill probably keep somewhat similar to that in the recent luck fest campaign gift exchange!! midori -> hajime and yuzuru -> kanata at the very least. just good vibes all around. community centre would also be finished by then so while joja closes, ibara ends up assisting at the museum w nagisa instead jshshdh

Y2 Spring: only thing of note is that This flower dance they do get to dance together!! 👍 had to get those hearts up beforehand sjhdhdjshd midori at this point fully realized he really does like yuzuru, but kind of the calm before the summer storms

Y2 Summer: gets a bit (a lot) more complicated from here. yuzuru receives word from tori that he'll be visiting from midsummer til the beginning of autumn, and coincidentally tsukasa is tagging along to meet up with his pen pal and friend sora!! bickering the entire way there and due to circumstances yuzurus hosting tsukasa as well in the end, having to share toris room with him aksjdhjwjs

tori gets introduced to midori. the famed young master of midoris crush and this random farmer boy tori had heard so much about for some reason. midoris rather intimidated in the end but it ends up not Horribly to say the least. didnt quite help how tori had noticed how yuzuru softened up even just a bit when interacting with him. sora as well finally meets tsukasa and "the torikun he's heard so much about through tsukasas letters" 🎉 toris awfully smug and tsukasa tries to salvage it saying he was badmouthing him the whole time (not completely a lie but definitely not completely the truth either. dork)

with toris arrival inevitably comes yuzurus duties as a butler, its plain to see his priorities and out of consideration midori backs off a bit. she thought he'd only have to keep his distance until tori's gone back but little did she know toris main reason for coming not only was to assess how yuzurus faring (well and to meet eichi again) but had planned on bringing yuzuru back with him too to which yuzuru of course though not without feeling a tinge of pain for a reason unknown to him agrees to it

midori hears this from tsukasa, how he didnt think yuzuru would stay in town for much longer. and of course midori ended up pretty devastated at the news but who is he to stop yuzuru from leaving? in the end yuzuru would all but abandon his duties, and after all that same diligence and devotion is what midori had fallen for in the first place. if this short year really is all he'd get to spend with him then at the very least she'll have to make the most of what time they have left

the moonlight jellies come around again, probably one of the last times they both thought they'd be able to spend together and went off with just the two of them. a bit of an awkward air around them, yuzuru comments on how toris been complaining about the sand and other attempts at casual small talk as usual but its painfully obvious theres still that tense atmosphere

midori finally asks if yuzurus really leaving after all, to which she got a yes. midori simply nods and had long since accepted that inevitability, and already resolved that when the time comes to put an end to his feelings and get rejected properly. and so he confesses, and while saying she didnt need yuzuru to give him any proper answer in return, all yuzuru could really say was an "i'm sorry" while finally realizing what that awful ache that has been eating at him the entire time was. even if he did realize he felt the same, no matter how much he wanted to say it back theyve both resigned to the fact that its not something that could or would really ever happen between them

once the jellies have all left, their parting was pretty awkward, with that one goodbye feeling a lot like their last. tori notices something off about yuzuru and that something had probably happened between them, but didnt pay it much thought until a while later

yuzurus made more mistakes than whats normal, miscategorizing the stock or putting salt in his coffee, tori and tsukasa are both shocked and tried to pry it out of him but hes a brick wall that wont budge even a bit. it was only when midori came around for his usual errands and groceries that tori could note how distant and awkward theyre both being and that slight bit of hurt behind yuzurus all perfect mask

after much uncomfortable tension and quietly longing gazes enough is enough amd tori eventually confronts him, that while he did say yuzuru could come back to the city asks him if thats really what he wanted. and of course, all hes ever wanted or rather, knew how to want was to be able to serve tori to the best of his ability and really theres no other reason to stay anyways. even more frustrated now tori brings up midori, if he really wont regret leaving things like that when theyll surely drift apart to the point of no return if he keeps it up

argues that whatever was between him and midori has nothing to do with it!! tori is Mad and says if yuzuru is hiding behind his role to run away from the depths of his own feelings hes being a freaking idiot. eventually tori calms down and while he did want yuzuru to come, never wanted him to tear himself apart so much and that he didnt need to sacrifice his desires or getting close to anyone else for his sake, and how before being a servant yuzuru is his family as well and he just wants him to be happy too. then asks one last time if leaving the valley really what he wanted

yuzuru finally thinks it over again and apologizes first. for letting himself get so caught up and carried away for even daring to get close to someone else (tori glares daggers at him. he stops) and affirms that while he did wish to stay, theres still nothing more important to him than tori and his wellbeing and even should he open up and find more people in his life its not gonna change that fact

toris finally satisfied, reminding him again that even if he were to run off to be with some farmer boy hed still be his butler and that he wishes them the best. then proceeds to grab the bouquet from over the counter, shove it into yuzurus hands and lock him out of the store until he has a proper talk with midori. yuzuru tries to argue but it all goes one ear and out the other with tori he is Not gonna let him back inside until then

eventually gives in and goes looking for midori. he asks all around town and seems to just miss him each time, til eventually it starts pouring and into a pretty hard rain. at this point all he could rly focus on though was wanting to see him so pushes on until running into her taking shelter in the forest. yuzuru is Soaked and disheveled and with the wind and rain the bouquet is stripped down to only a few of its flowers left but he does not care at this point

midori is understandably shocked and tries to dry him off with what he had, lending her jacket and asking what he was doing out in the rain like that. well with yuzuru only being able to think about wanting to meet him had completely ignored the rain and brushes it off saying there was something more important he wanted to say

even knowing that he'd (somewhat) rejected midori before, asks if he could give him a proper response this time if midori would give him another chance. she agrees, yuzuru lets him know he wont be going back to the city after all to midoris surprise. goes on that before he knew it midori had become important to him as well and that he truly does adore him, and if his feelings havent changed would like to court him properly. midoris just processing the entire thing before crying. never thought his feelings would be reciprocated and between sobs hugs him. rain clears up, a nice rainbow arches over and while midori accepts what was left of the bouquet they almost had a moment until yuzuru starts sneezing. cue them running back to the store before he gets sick

while yuzurus taking care of himself it leaves midori and tori in the store together. tori gives her a bit of a shovel talk and if he dared do anything to hurt yuzuru he could have his entire farm shut down. and asks to take care of yuzuru for him too. they do talk a bit and end up getting to know each other a bit more before tori and tsukasas impending departure

once midori leaves, tsukasa, having seen the whole conversation, asks tori if hes really okay with it and while tori cant say hes absolutely happy is glad someone cherishes yuzuru just as much. and even if he is a bit lonely will always have tsukasa anyways half as a tease and half being genuine

Y2 Autumn: tori and tsukasa leave the valley, promising to come back next year!! theres a lot more ive planned out from this point out but i am keeping it to myself for now. or maybe forever it depends 👍 my apologies if youve read this far you deserve a medal thank you for listening to my silly rambling 🏅

theres some other things like mini chara arcs/episodes and such (or stuff like specific "heart events" of a sort) i thought abt but among them is tatsumi and mayoi meeting and [omitted] or tetoras apprenticeship under kuro, or shus visit to observe mikas progress and [omitted], and specifically a certain trks episode also

[jadetheblueartist]

IM SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED YOUR TEGAN ASK

I feel so bad :( you said it took you three hours and also I had written a huge response and now it’s gone ;-;

Okay so I’m going to rewrite my response but I’m really sorry if I get things wrong since now I can’t review what you sent ;-;

————

I LOVE THE IDEA SO MUCH!!!! And I would love to hear more about their training and life on the ship!

I may be obsessing over Talon and Megan a tad bit…

I love all the possibilities of how they passed the time in the car so much. It would be so awkward at the start and I’m all here for it!! I imagine Talon carried most of the conversation from the beginning until after they really got to know each other. I feel like at the start Talon would just awkwardly try to tell her what has happened to the earth while she was gone in hopes of starting some conversation. I’m imagining the parking lot picnic with them just drinking slushees and eating whatever gas station food seemed good (I’m assuming everything is kind of run down?)

Car karaoke. Oh it would be amazing. Talon trying to find songs Megan likes and trying to get her to sing along, windows rolled down, it’d be such a vibe.

With the race scene I can’t stop picturing the scene from princess bride where they both are rolling down the hill XD

Their relationship is so great, two strangers bonding in a long car ride… oh wait they already knew each other? They were already in love from book one? But Megan’s memory was wiped- WAIT NO THEY WERE IN LOVE AND HER MEMORY WAS WIPED!?!? Okay, okay, it’s fine at least they became close again, just a fresh start nothing to worry about… HER MEMORY WAS WIPED A SECOND TIME!?!? TALON THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (this is so tragic but I love it so much)

Talon nooooo why the tragic backstory ;-; (I love it very much)

Oh and the art? I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I love Talon’s design!!!!!! The drawing of him saying happy birthday to himself makes me so sad ;-;

Also question time!

Do you have designs for the sci fi ppl? Are they like aliens or just advanced humans chilling in space? Does Talon hide his tattoo? (I love that type of angst so much mhm hidden scars [in this case a tattoo tho]) and you said there was an image limit… could I see those drawing you couldn’t show? Also why is it called Tegan (is it bc Talon + Megan = Tegan…)? That should be all of my questions…

Anyway I absolutely love this story and please feel free to tell me more whenever! (I’d love to hear a lil more about Ivan too)

Again really sorry abt deleting the ask ;-; I hope you have an amazing day though!!

(I feel like I’m forgetting things I wanted to mention but idk)

Oh my I wrote out this whole thing and it deleted it for me hahaha let’s try this again

No worries about deleting the ask it happens hahaha and it doesn’t look like you got anything wrong so yay!

I’m gonna answer this paragraph by paragraph

-IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT and I’m pretty sure I have either the original google doc or a “Megan’s POV” doc that I can look into to give you those details :)

-I’m so glad you’re obsessing so we can be in the same boat

-I’ve been mulling over that car scene for years and somehow you managed to squeeze out even more serotonin for me to devour I thank thee. And I think it’s run down ish, like people are still there but WW3 is kind of happening/ just happened soooo you know

-it would be the vibiest ^^

-I’m so glad you said that bc I couldn’t connect the dots as to what that scene reminded me of but yeah that’s amazing

-IKR the mind wiping rocked my world. My friend was at the point where she was writing the post separation explosion and we were on face time and she casually mentioned “oh you know the cars weren’t the first time they met, right?” I went feral trying to get all the info out of her hahaha

-yes his backstory makes me so sad…

-I’m glad you like the design! It was our group’s “hot guy” design hahaha I’ve tried to make it more individualized to him over the years tho, and that happy birthday one gets me every time (especially since that’s probably how he spent most his birthdays…)

Yay Question Time!

-I believe I could at least get the designs for those people sometime soon. They are just random people who decided to work for big bad (aka the voice, bc they only heard his voice through speakers at first). The voice decided he could make some good money abducting children and forcing them to be assassins so he did that. The government doesn’t know about them bc they hide in space. The few organizations trying to take them down are the only ones who really know about it

-talon has a few different tattoos, the one he got initiated with is a tattoo/ permanent burn so it has to stay covered to protect it, the other is just on his neck and he leaves that one in the open (I can point it out in the pics below)

-and yes! Tegan is the ship name for Talon and Megan (it was that or Melon hahaha)

-Ivan didn’t really have much personality in the oh other than he was angry bc the scientist that snuck into the escape ship was dating his crush, I’ve made some personal modifications to him in my head though making him more protective rather than just angry (he’s also Megan’s cousin) and I just remembered I have a drawing of him? So cue the picture section :)

Picturesssss

Here’s Ivan, the permanent third wheel (he doesn’t know tho)

The first ever drawings of Talon and Megan 😬

Moving on… idk which of these are repeats so lemme know if they are and I could probably substitute them for new pics

And now the og Megan design vs the much needed redraw

Ughhhh the one on the left still haunts me…

I was struck by the limit again so I might reblog this with a few more, idk hahaha

But reading through this ask made me so happy you have no idea (insert the “I don’t normally feel things but that one got through” donnie gif)

Thank you so much and I’ll look into the daily life on the ship and the sci fi guy designs :)

[cadere-art]

jdifksbfurkdbi hi hello :3 just found ur blog and i love ur commission art and the funny fellows which, if i managed to correctly absorb the lore, r the uanlikri ppl. those r cool and nice and amazing and i love em. i noticed that when u post abt them u (i assume) write the name of the individual culture with their native script of their native language? since thats my shit can i ask u to linguistically infodump abt that? thanks for ur attention and have a good [insert time of day] :)))

So the Peoples of Uanlikri is a project of mine where I aim to do at least one drawing of every cultural group* on Uanlikri, the continent depicted in the bottom corner of the little people infographics. There are other continents in this world but for my sanity I'm (mostly) not touching them.

The script besides the title is not a native script in the sense that for most of these cultures, they've borrowed it from someone else! It is the Ghøwout Script, which you may or may not have scrolled down far enough to find this little infographic I did on it.

Unfortunately for the more linguistically inclined, I haven't really dug deep into conlanging (at least not with this script) and I cannot tell you much about the Ghøwout languages, other languages which use the Ghøwout script, and how they work. I think if / when I decide to work on it more, I'll take my decisions about who uses diacritics and how much as a jumping point to decide on features of the language.

Someday I'd love to make a map of language families on Uanlikri. For now I'm treating it as though it mostly matches the cultural groups I'm drawing (which is innacurate, but must suffice).

*I've got a masters of Anthropology so I'm constantly annoyed that I'm not being granular enough, but I'm mostly managing to talk sense into myself about it, for the sake of my sanity and hopefully finishing the project someday.

[kipskiptrip]

when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) < 3 <3

Awwww, omg aww that's so sweetest omg omg

Uhmm five thing I like about myself? Ok

I'm a surviiivaaaahh 🎸🎵🎸🎵 No but I went through a lot in terms of medically and other stuff and while it's not a conversation I like talking abt casually the fact that I went thru that and I'm (mainly) normal like honestly I think that's really respectable. Even with my disabilities I still find ways to manage symptoms and find the positive in the darkness (even though I'm proud of being disabled it does fucking suck so the fact I'm not moping around and wallowing is a plus in my eyes)

As much as I have problems w my self appearance (transgender night terror) I still generally like how I look. I like my sense of style, and wish to express it more, but nevertheless I think I'm rocking the vibe. I may post more photos on here as well but for now, taking little selfies in the mirror is a form of self-love! I grew a lot with my relationship with my health and body, so to see the fruits of my love? God, it's beautiful and I still got a lot of ways to go! Exciting, yaaaay!

I like how intelligent I could be, idk I don't like seeming conceited but I consider myself an intellectual and I like analyzing the world. My no.1 wish aside from like World Peace and stuff is to know Everything. All the secrets of the universe, every personal detail, every possibility and impossibility and how to achieve them. My quest for knowledge is never satiated and I love to create new ideas and stories and such, and I often talk analytical biz with my greatest friends. Media literacy and comprehension and the ability to think and create beyond what is given to me my beloved. <3

I get a little silly w it! Honestly I'll never forget this tarot card reading I got saying to keep my childlike wonder alive and even if I've grown more mature, I think I still keep it in the small things, and I'll always try to keep that magic alive. I've been getting into forms of spirituality as well which I feel may help, not only in the religious aspect but also divination and ghosthunting! I like to be able to enrich myself in the beauty of the world, and just as much as I love knowledge, I love life as well. I want to be poetic and beautiful just like every life around me.

I like my different hobbies and skills that make up my personality! I looooove to contribute to my community with creating art like music, drawing, and writing. I love the fact that I can use my culture and my experiences to define who I am and express that in the things that I like, it helps to give back to the world that made me. To be able to play my trumpet or perform a little theatric is something that helps to showcase that energy and appreciation I host. Learning guitar keeps me up with my cultural background and my family history, even from far away. Drawing and writing stories keep me in tune with my origins, and teach me humble beginnings make good progress. Every part of what I like has meaning, and to have the chance to give it that meaning? Wow. Just wow. Like. Oh my God!

Aaand that's 5! I'll send out this message to others, but this time off of anon ;) Thank you for having me participate in this game!

[mina-at]

This is my first tumblr ask so sorry if smth is wrong. If you don’t mind I wanted to ask you abt your last post abt accepting yourself as trans. I’m just now in my second year and still struggle sometimes to accept myself. We’re there anything that helped you learn to accept yourself as being trans? If you do respond, thankyou smsm! If not, no worries at all!!

I think it of course differs from person to person. What helped me a lot at the beginning were just seeing all those comics and arts from so many different creators featuring trans topics. (That was also the main motivation why i started drawing again and make such comics myself in the first place) Other than that, during my questioning process, i was on a Discord server explicitly meant for people in that weird questioning process. There i got to talk with people who knew much more about this topic than i could ever had back then. That was by far the thing that helped me the most since i didnt know who else to really talk to about this topic and not being judged. So i can absolutely recommend that. (Can also send you the link to the discord server via DM if you want, even though i think that, that one is at least one of the biggest trans servers out there anyway). I really hope though you manage to understand your feelings better and maybe get to accept them! I absolutely wish you good luck there! :>

[hibernationsuit-remade]

hello i am crawling into your inbox on all fours. whats the new lore. hows mars. whats goin on there. 🤲

HIIIIII thank u for asking oh my god :'3

backstory for the whole thing is that i've had two story ideas in my head that i rotated for a lobg while until tow hyperfixation appeared in june last year and i have barely given any thoughts to them

NOW for a while i've been, like, working more on toby's backstory and all and done some worldbuilding and started having thoughts abt pulling him out of being a video game oc and instead keep him as an original oc. which in turn led me to have some thoughts about the original stories. what i decided is to ditch the plots, combine the stories into one and throw toby & co. in there HEHE

Now what's happening in the story itself: basically Earth has been terraforming and colonizing planets for a while, and only after a while went "oh wait we also have Mars over there". So they go there like 100 years before the story plot starts and terraform it and it kinda starts to have it's own thriving colony & people are happy. Then Earth gets bored and kinda leaves it to be on its own (which Mars is kinda happy about honestly, Earth directives were starting to get annoying).

Meanwhile Toby's (and others') backstory stays the same (though some details r changed, like corporations and projects, how Earth works and all), and so kinda does the reason for Tobias to leave Earth. The managers of the project he was working in as a lead chemist were doing some fucked up unethical shit and he tried to whistleblow them and almost ended up getting killed by the lead guy of the project for that. The corporation the project was part of wasn't really pleased w it but decided to deal with the lead guy instead and leave Toby alone (partly bc Klara has a very high rank in their intercorporational relations + Toby has some friends in internal affairs).

At the same time Klara got an offer to move to Mars bc their corporation's daughter company is having some problems she would deal with very well, and while Toby didn't really like the idea at the beginning, they did realize that it would also be a good way for him to "start a new chapter" (and also get away from ppl who really don't like him). Plus it's said that Mars is really doing better than Earth in some way.

And so they decide to go there. Yay 🤍

EXCEPT THAT IT IS NOT DOING BETTER SJFKKFSHFJJFJX Mars is in fact, kinda fucked up in a way that it's very divided, kinda dangerous and has a shitty government that only cares about money. Plus there's some rebels who want to get rid of their current government. But hey at least there's a gian ocean on the north side of Mars! woter

When they arrive there their transport gets ambushed by said rebels and they, for some reason, take Klara w them. Toby tries to start a fight and is left on that spot until found by local government officials. They kinda know why he & Klara arrived here and r thus somewhat nice with him, BUT since the corporation Klara is working for is kinda against the local government, they aren't That Nice. When he asks them to help him out get Klara back they laugh at his face and go "lol get a job and calm down."

And so he decides to do it all by himself (+ teams up with some other people). And so the story begins!*

and that's all i've figured out so far properly

ANYWAY!!!! i am soooo excited about this one oughhhhhh thank you for asking <3333 i think i'll post the more official writing things on my writeblr once i sort it out, but mostly i'll also talk about it here and post art here or on my art blog TEEHEE <3

*meanwhile klara is having a surprisingly ok time btw. the rebels apparently wanted her to do smth they need her skills for and she is treated sooo well. much better than at her own job <3

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

[spearheadrampancy]

So... if you don't mind me asking how've you been?

hoo boy. yeah. tldr: alive!

quite a fair chunk of shit happened i think. when i redownloaded the app i weighed up if i was gonna make a post abt what's happened, but ultimately decided against it bc i wasnt sure how active i was gonna be. looks like the answer is very, so i might as well for anyone who's curious (:

on with the details in no particular order!

just before we stopped posting, we mentioned how the company we worked for announced big profits, an expenses-paid trip for the top employees, and also the tiny small news that the team we were on was getting downsized from 20 ppl total to about 3 (6 to 1 for my role specifically). well, we did end up losing our job completely because the company was unwilling to make reasonable adjustments so we could move to the same role in a different team (we don't have any legal grounds to take action unfortunately). but this was fine for us bc we grew jaded with how management was doing shit anyway. they also laid off about 700 people from across the company a few months later.

we spent months trying to find a job, and eventually applied to university on a whim. we got in! we're studying game design and are currently in foundation year (level 0) of the course. we were pretty worried about "fitting in" and suff but honestly we made friends instantly and it turns out a lot of lgbt autistic folks are studying game design foundation year. strange! (/s). its a little weird being part of the popular clique now.

we built a site. a real one! with colours and scripts and all that! a couple sites, actually, but only one is what we're comfortable sharing publicly (other site is sys member info for friends to reference). the site is on neocities, available here. we got really into coding for realsies around the time that we stopped posting. we also got into something called choicescript, but the site took priority as we use it as a digital portfolio. we also started practicing API work by making little tools for the discord bot pluralkit, but they are. uh. far from finished

we got an rgb bulb that actually works with shortcuts, so it inspired us to actually code shortcuts again. they're pretty advanced now; we have a series of them dedicated to forcing us to sleep (it obviously isnt working given i'm still awake at 4am !!), but they're really smooth and helpful

we started drawing properly again (i know we've posted a lot of art on here but most of it is low effort memes. and also none of it was trad art, which we got back into), in order to prep for being asked for a portfolio for uni. which we eventually didnt even get asked for. we opened an instagram account to post it to while we work on getting our art on our actual site, and recently a deviantart account for crossposting.

i stopped writing. i also largely stopped building on my ideas for games and comics and such. this was more because i had More Pressing Things to be writing about, like our CV, and our applications, but i havent really picked it back up. in a bit of a plateau of inspiration rn. wanna fix that though.

we started playing hotline miami, which we'd been meaning to do for years. completed the first, got halfway into the second before a TERRIBLE AWFUL THUMB INJURY (dramatic. didnt even need glue) rendered us entirely unable to use a controller. it healed but we havent finished the second yet. today's actually the first time since august that we've even touched a controller, let alone played any games.

we got back into making music. we decided the system was going to start releasing music as a collective, so we set up a whole youtube channel and stuff for it. videos'll start january 1st, we hope.

i convinced two people to watch red vs blue. my token cishet guy friend who was my colleague at Shitty Workplace (i sent him slutty locus from earlier and his only response was "amazing") and one of my new uni friends (very autistic i think they will go feral for it). token cishet just finished season 8 and uni friend is in season 3 i believe.

health wise has been. a ride... our normal gp stopped practicing entirely, and we dont trust the other gp's at our clinic, so we've been entirely unmedicated and unchecked since november of last year, barring OTC stuff. except for the part where at the end of october we finally saw a rheumatologist (after being referred in 2019!) who said we probably had fibromyalgia. earlier this month we also caught some Mystery Illness that lasted two weeks and nobody knew what it was. our voice still hasnt recovered fully and the whole experience was weird, but the hospital nurse wasnt concerned and it didnt come back as positive for That One Illness That Got Really Popular In The Last Three Years so its honestly likely that it was just the regular old flu, which we werent used to after only really suffering from Disabled Person Sicknesses for the best part of the last 15 years.

we met steve downes and jen taylor, the voice actors of halo's master chief and cortana! got photos & signatures (: steve complimented my jacket and jen Really Wanted A Nap.

WE GOT THE GRIFBALL PLUSH (: i would make this bigger if i could. it's just one of those Material Gains that has a lot of sentimental value to us. and i found my glow in the dark ring which i cried about. again: material gains of high personal significance.

so yeah! a lot. im probably missing something because i have the brain of a sieve. but we're alive and thats the important part.

[cherubinym]

im curious abt how you interpret eden and the creation sisters, considering we hardly know of those four at all! (by the way i really loved your contributions towards spacea and tiempas redesigns, that art looks really nice :D). what are their personalities like?

First of all thank u qvq

I really like designing,,, and for fun facts the original concept designs were actually just redraws of fanart I did for them like a couple years back. At first anyway jhbsjbhsbjhsj

---

Eden first, since they're rather simple.

In the Timebreak rp scene? There's a severe Lack of Kieran and Clear (we've had players of them before but they've disappeared or gone inactive/haven't been involved in the main au.)

How it goes is; they've managed to 'recreate' well- at least an Eden lookalike. Data and such wise, this Eden basically has to start from scratch with collection, save for whatever was still in the system. "Memories" for them are limited. Save for a friend's OC whom is also a MysFigure.

They're very friendly, in an unnerving way. They have such a peppy and happy attitude to the point where some can say it feels unnatural. Pokemon especially with good intiuition; (ex. Delpha), can see through this facade.

Until they can 'recreate' their partners, they're basically forced to solo-handle a lot of the MF main story stuff. Very charismatic, very good at manipulation.

Their disguise is as a Professor at Axis High, in which they use their position to monitor the students and alumni that are league leaders + have secure access to the Axis High Labs and Platinum component.

... The Puppet Master thing in this AU seems very complicated and probably would have its own post if anything jbhsjbhsbhjsbj.

They prefer to get literally any work or situation done with any means But fighting. The more compliant the person they need is, the easier it is. The less risk taken, the better.

(Sylveon, Lucario-Mega, Leavanny*, Blacephalon, Crobat, Silvally-???)

---

Now the Creation Sisters--- WELL. A lot of their (Spacea and Tiempa's) stuff is referenced from canon events, of course. But I also took a bite out of the Wispy Ruins Chest Quest + Lost Castle Lore and used THAT in a bunch of stuff.

Griselda is still a worm, just as in canon. That much is fair lol. Unlike her sisters, she can't really turn "human" again yet, but I do have a human design for her (based off her ingame sprites.)

The key difference here is that she is still PRESENT with Geara past Valor-- in her own way anyways. She's still doing whatever the fuck she wants. But this makes things... hm. Fun I suppose. She purposely interferes with stuff Spacea and Tiempa try to do-- mostly out of spite. She does a lot of things out of Spite, actually. Like adopting a new family because her old ones poisoned her. Normal Thursday, you know.

Speaking of that, she has her own Pokemon team... even though she's one herself. Her Mega is a Gengar, which is the evolved form of the Gastly from the Wispy Ruins Chest Quest, whom is her daughter who was turned into a Pokemon as punishment.

( GMega Gengar, Mimikyu, [GIRATINA], Beheeyem-Crest, Dusknoir-Crest, Spiritomb-Crest, Dragapult (LAUNCH THE CHILDREN.))

So yeah. She's still very snappy, even towards those she "seems" more compassionate about. On the Geara part, you're best bet is asking Geara's mun for that side of the story <3

... Now considering this place is called TIMEbreak, Tiempa has her hands full with Many things. The Stormchasers are certainly still a thing, and oh boy is shit going to go down later. We're still in like, late Chapter 9, or early Chapter 10 time wise I think. Their time will come soon.

Yeah, Spacea still exists too. Same vein of stuff. Those two pretty much have the same personalities as ingame, except now they're more pissed off with how much stuff has been going off the rails.

Tiempa is the quiet mean one. Spacea is the loud mean one. What more can I say without spoiling PLANS

(Chat they still don't know Jenner is alive again-)

[morororinnnn]

AU LORE DUMP AGAIN?!! (after so long)

this one is specifically On the topic of some post i made saying one of the Non agents or cbv characters had PTSD?? so i had art block a bit and forgot to draw that so ill explain it instead.

(little to no highlighting bc i just wanna lore ramble hehe)

Tartar has mostly recovered (partly since it doesn’t remember much bc of the damage the magenta ink and the hit from the wail and whatever screwed it up!!!!) so it’s not really the point of interest.

but Grizz does still have very prevalent PTSD. mainly from a few different things (experiments, seeing his legit family and species and others ermmm not alive), however he’s still trying to recover from the events of ROTM. mainly the rocket battle.

In my opinion, if he has human like intelligence he must still have some animal instincts and mindset in there right. so with that the trauma of getting hurt repeatedly, harshly (being bitten, choked, having pieces although weird fuzzball things but still connected to your skin ripped off/sploded) and being maybe in a general state of panic must’ve caused SOMETHINH to go off.

therefore when he returned to Alterna (the only place he really calls home tbh) to recover and get back to managing his work and whatever, he got to experience the full effect of the delayed reaction he had—more like he hid his fear, panic, and/or “less professional” emotions/state of mind in hopes of it just going away after a while.

Yet when he got back and had some nightmare abt the whole event (vivid and painful as ever), he couldn’t suppress the overwhelming emotions any longer—which manifested in somewhat of a panic attack.

Anyway O.R.C.A. was able to calm him down and talk to him about it (although with a LOT of prodding and prying, since he wouldn’t admit to the vulnerability)

He now currently occasionally gets nightmares and brief flashbacks from that day, but it’s getting better with O.R.C.A.’s help (though much much slower). (flashbacks for him often manifest as visual) (feelings of panic and said flashbacks can be caused by triggers such as vacuums, anything that reminds him of the song played that day (so like calamari inkantation or smth), or even just supposedly minuscule objects like a globe, chilly air, stars, etc)).

Tartar, Callie, and Neo 3 are aware of his condition and try their best to not do anything that could possibly discomfort him or cause him panic. He doesn’t want them to tell the rest of the NSS bc he doesn’t want to be perceived as weak (also he thinks they’ll use it against him).

also O.R.C.A. is pretty good with accommodating and assisting those with neurological disorders / disabilities in general, so they don’t mind helping him on days he’s not doing so well.

A/N:

(i did an unholy amount of ptsd research for this. health class be darned, i learned more abt this in about 3-4 hours research than i did in my whole semester wth)🤦

[sociallyawkward--fics]

HEY BACK AGAIN. idk how long its been cuz mobile is trash but me n my friend were talking abt how we were in a lot of the same fandom spaces as kids. Sanders sides being one of them. n i was like..... Long shot but do u know sociallyawkward--fics.. n at first they were like no i dont think so.. but then they looked u up n went OH MY GOD YEA??? ill send u a screenshot off anon but i told them we were friends n they said it was like finding out i knew a celebrity LMAO -H (ironic considering theyre prob more popular on ao3 than u😭 they briefly turned back into a 12yo fanboy)

its still so crazy to me ive known u for so long n met him like 3-4 years ago worlds collide ..... Also u can post this though im off anon if u want idc -H

ALSO. since im here. idk if i ever told u my age but when i sent my first ask to u i was probably 11. maybe 10 even. im turning 18 in a couple months now. its hard to bring myself to read some of the asks (ok most of the asks) i sent u over the years bc i was an incredibly anxious and awkward autistic kid. But u always treated me with so much love hahakjs at the time i was rly struggling n had very few friends n AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME CRINGE TO LOOK BACK ON u were honestly the only older person i could talk to n it rly meant a lot lol. im so much more confident n comfortable in myself than i was all those years ago n ik i dont send u asks nearly as frequently anymore but tbh even if eventually its only once every few years ill always think back on u so fondly n gratefully. Neway i literally hate being sappy so ill shut up here but yeah. Thanks n such -H

ALSO IDK IF UR ACTIVE ON AMY SOCIAL MEDIA RLY?? BUT IF U R I CAN GIVE U SOME OF MY SOCIALS mostly i just tweet abt my day occasionally on twitter but i also have a sideblog where i post art. just thinking that maybe then i wouldnt have to be like 'and heres a quick summary of the past 8 months' n u could check up on me whenever instead of only seeing me when i send asks😭 -H (its also so less formal cuz when i send in asks u Gotta respond whereas if i post 'just ate a kickass burger' u can just. Like it. idk idc either way but lmk ^__^)

-----------------------------------

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ANSWER THESE FOR MONTHS SINCE I'VE BEEN USING TUMBLR AGAIN AND MY LACK OF OBJECT PERMANENCE HAD ME KEEP FORGETTING I AM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭

dkjfhkdhf omg that is so wild that you have a friend who also knows about me dkjfhdsf Sanders Sides (back when it was waaaaay smaller of a fandom lol) was the first (and tbh only, really) fandom where i had any real level of "popularity" as a fic writer, and i fed off that high for SO LONG lol -- hearing that people were obsessed with my work, both then and now after the fact, is genuinely so surreal dfkjhdjkfh like. i am just Here, i am just Some Dude who wrote some words that got them weirdly popular at 17-18 dkjsfhdkjfh (also cuz i try to gather all your asks into one post, you continue to remain anonymous just cuz i copy-pasted them into the post in the same order they were received lol)

Dude it is CRAZY that you are almost 18 (or, by the time i am finally managing to answer this with my Bad Brain Powers procrastinating it so long, already 18) -- I looked back and I was 18 when you sent your first ever ask to me dkjfhdf that's so wild. I am so honored that you saw me as an older person you could come and talk to, even if it was just through anonymous tumblr asks for the past 6+ years lol. I always think of you fondly too, and I am so proud of you for the way you've grown up and grown into your confidence

ALSO YOU CAN TOTALLY SEND ME YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA djfdjdsjkf you can absolutely send me any of your socials!!! I know your main blog because you've sent some asks without it (have I ever remembered to follow it??? I meant to but I can't remember, this is also a Brain Forget-y Accidental Procrastination thing), but I would LOVE to see your art sideblog and def feel free to send me your twitter!! I have not opened my twitter in like. 3 months, because i was having Unhealthy Habits so i tucked the app into a pocket out of site and stopped using it for a while, but I am doing better now and would definitely open it back up more often again to see what you were up to

Also!!! You can always feel free to DM me on any of my blogs/sideblogs here on tumblr, too! You don't have to wait to send an ask (though I love receiving asks from you, don't ever feel like you have to stop even if we connect elsewhere!), you can always DM me on any of my blogs (or on any other socials we may exchange, too!)

[newyorkkiss]

How did u initially get into Spoon, what was the first song/album you fell in love with and why?

↑ me explaining things

strangely, it all started nearly a decade now when i was still venturing out and crafting my own tastes. i would frequent a little (now long since shuttered) record store in my tiny town, i saw they want my soul’s album art and was enamored and intrigued by it. iirc it was maybe a week or so after release bc it was store pick and at the front desk so i probably wouldn’t have seen it otherwise! then saw the bands name was spoon and thought that was just really… bizarre. stupid even. anyways i ended up memory holing it for 8 years until last year when i was doing a watch-through of noel era never mind the buzzcocks and somebody (cannot for the life of me remember who, definitely came from phill’s side though) *i think* said something about stupid band names, like “what’s next? [word], [word], spoon?” and i was like WAIT A MINUTE… i know there’s a band named spoon and i too thought it was absurd. subnote is for a long time i conflated spoon with elbow, i’m not entirely sure as to why, but i do recall a grief councilor i was speaking to around the same time suggesting i listen to elbow (still haven’t done it! sorry!) and i think the oddness of the band names and time period overlapped. elbow is mentioned more than a few times on buzzcocks too so that sort of reminded me a bit too, but it wasn’t until i actually heard it said i was like yeah. i have to dig in on this. maybe a week later i was on a train-ride into the city and was like yeah maybe i should listen to they want my soul and u can basically say thee rest is HERstory or something.

here’s the canonic first three ↓

inside out was unlike anything else i’d heard from a band of that genre and we ALL KNOW how mid to awful most of-the-era alt/indie rock bands sounded when they started incorporating synthetic elements to their music. it’s just so ethereal. magical. beautifully crafted from silk strands colored cobalt. it’s unlike anything else on that album let alone their entire discography. the fact they managed to pull that off so perfectly is more than a testament to their talents and ability to make good fucking music. name one of their contemporaries that has pulled off some electronic elemental incorporation as perfectly as this. i really don’t think you can.

anyways i pretty much just listened to twms two or three times in full after that for a good while until about mid july where i must of off handedly heard something from it again and was bored enough to begin the deep dive. kept on revisiting things and it all just sort of spiraled badly by that point and by august they were the only thing i was listening to and it only got worse. coincidentally it all tied in with a massive relapse so they were and still are, a comfort in that mess.

i managed to break 5k scrobbles on them like 4 days before i flew out to see them too which is just absurd 😭

anyways in the midst of that i was so bored i was like i have to dig into britt’s lore but for what it’s worth when i first saw a pic of him i was legitimately terrified by him. the combo of the blond hair and tall gauntness actually frightened me. but the scariness turned to intrigue and now we know where i sit on that subject. then i started to occasionaly post abt it here after my beloved twt echo chamber were revolted by my new white man of the every 6 months. then spoon anon reached me and i was like Wait people actually kinda gaf so i pretty much exclusively do that here 😭😭😭😭 i rarely even self posted the way i do now before this because i couldn’t make it not feel weird.

onto the final part of me deciding to see them coming from a place of actual if i don’t do this i’ll regret it guilt because i’d massively gotten into pavement like 8 months earlier and they toured here just as i was really into them and didn’t see them when i could have. it was kind of coincidental spoon were touring here just as i was really like… fixating upon them i think. but obviously it was worth it to see them!!!!!! and i would see them a million times over, genuinely. if they ever float towards you PLEASE GO SEE THEM. also me seeing them was a kind of mentally momentous occasion for me as i essentially describe myself as a hikikomori. the last time i’d ever attended a gig was in 2016 on my birthday, and i was with friends. never in a million years did i think i’d chalk it up to attending something like that alone given i’ve been felt up by drunks and crushed against barricades at the two shows i’d actually attended prior to them. that coupled with the fact i’ve always been terrified of being outside my house alone made me deciding to leave the entire state on a flight to see them all on my own really important. so thank you spoon for breaking me out of my own safety bubble lol.

in conclusion; spoon is very literally americas greatest band

a funny note is that prior to all of this i was an enjoyer of the preatures debut album blue planet eyes and imagine how 😳😳😳😳😳 i was when i found out jim produced that. really great album btw. the copy of it i’ve had rotting away on my bedroom shelf for the last 7 or something years may have been a sign… fate or something lol 😵‍💫 also funnier is way way way back in ‘13 when i first heard is this how you feel? i for the longest time thought it was a haim song which is even more hfjrhdhdh now that we know alex was in a proto-haim and best friends w them. at least it’s funny to me!!!!! fate brought me spoon i think… it was meant to be ❤️