#obey me shitpost

[devildomangel]

MC who was sad that they didn't get to see the Solar Eclipse so Beel and Belphie decided to recreate it for them.

-MC, wearing sunglasses and sitting outside the HOL-

Lucifer: MC! What in the nine circles are you doing out here?

MC: I'm watching the eclipse.

Lucifer: We don't even have a sun in the devildom

MC: Shhh! It's starting!

Beel, Wearing a cardboard cut out of the sun: *Standing still*

Belphie: *Wearing a cardboard cut out of the moon, passes by Beel*

MC: Hell yeah

[katboykirby]

[authormars]

Diavolo and Lucifer are straight up just gay. I'm playing early OG rn and god damn they're so fucking gay. Everytime I see them together, it's always gay. "Oh yes, I'm going to Ristorante Six with Diavolo" YOU MEAN A DATE??? "I can't have you embarrassing me in front of Diavolo" BECAUSE HES YOUR BOYFRIEND??? "Isn't Lucifer the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" UHM THATS GAY

[demonvibez]

What even is this Nightmare?! *flips desk*

I got Luci's card on the first 10 pull, and every other since has looked like that

I feel like I'm actually going crazy lmao.

[anintrovertedechoe]

Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: what.

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????

MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore

Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun

[whatever-fanfics]

Headcanon that the demons and angels don't have that instinct when somethings wrong.

MC *feels the hairs on their arms stand up*: Somethings wrong

Solomon *feels a pit in his stomach*: I agree

Demons and Angels: What the fuck

*Something goes wrong*

The Demons and Angels: What the F U C K 🤯😱🤯

[boozye]

:3 *approaching violently*

[cosmicstarlatte]

Diavolo: Do you have representation?

Mammon: I call upon my lawyer MC!

MC: My client is innocent!

Diavolo (pinching MCs cheek): Of course he is, case dismissed!

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo there's crisp clean video of Mammon stealing from-

Diavolo (petting & cuddling MC): MC said he's not guilty, so he's not. What's so hard about that?

Lucifer: MC do you handle murder cases?

[hopeluna]

Belphie at Diavolo's parties: this place is so fancy, I don't know which fork to kill myself with

Asmo: the fork on your right.

[lyrichi]

[mc is reading a devildom textbook that is on human world history]

mc: .......

satan: ... you look troubled

mc: yeah cause it's all wrong

satan: what do you mean?

mc: well, first of all it says the earth is flat

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Mc: considering God is real and shit, would he hate me solely because half of the Devildom is simping over me

Lucifer: Mc... he would hate you simply for existing

Mc: yeah fair I hate me for simply existing too

Lucifer: (picking up Mc) Mc we talked about this and now you have to spend an hour with Asmo telling you how good you are

[astaroth1357]

I have long wanted to write a headcanon where high demons have lesser forms, so take a walk with me on this:

Imagine that the brothers are fighting with each other and one of them takes a serious hit, like, somebody's left hook got them right in the jaw and it was brutal. They fall to the ground, stone cold, and... just. Poof into a tiny little critter. Like a verison of their familiar. And they can't retake human form until they've rested and healed their wounds.

I'm doing that.

Lucifer becomes this fat-ass, little peacock. He's like one of those rotund Chocobo from the Final Fantasy universe, you just want to pick him up and squeeze him but he's slightly too heavy for that. His feathers are black, save for the tail which have black, red, blue, and green markings. If something makes him "Poof!" then he'll hide away in the Castle because he refuses to let his brothers ever see him in that state. MC can visit him, though, and he'll coo and get all fluffy whenever they pet his tummy.

Mammon turns into a three-eyed raven, but not fat like Luci. He basically becomes a bigger verison of one of his familiars, he's about the size of an eagle. For being the second strongest he gets "Poof!-ed" rather often because he gets caught up in so many fights. Most of the time, he's just a bystander then some stray shot hits him and suddenly he's squawking everybody's ear off! Hilariously, he's arguably smarter in this form so when he's stuck as a bird, his grades actually improve (if anyone can read his actual chicken scratch penmanship).

Levi becomes a snake. Duh. He has similar markings along his back to the colorful scales on his neck in his demon form. He isn't even the length of your average scarf, so MC can drape him behind their neck easily and he doesn't get in the way. He's absolutely MISERABLE like this, though, because he has no hands to play games with. He can get extra clingy to people if he's feeling cold, but MC has to invite him to share their body heat because he's too shy to signal what he wants.

As much as Satan would love to be a cat, he becomes a little unicorn (Sorry, I didn't make the lore). He's about the size of one of those miniature horses, but don't be fooled. He will snap your kneecaps and he's at perfect height to rear-kick his brothers right in the crotch. His coat is black but his tail, mane, and the underside of his horn are all his signature green. If he every gets "Poof!-ed!" he's big mad, so he'll spend the entire time trying to kick and spear his brothers so they have to suffer along with him. He's the cause of a lot of chain "Poof!-ings."

Asmo becomes the smallest, cutest scorpion you ever did see. Well, as cute as scorpions can be. His whole body becomes hot pink and he has the biggest widdle eyes (think those jumping spiders who wear raindrops on their heads type energy). He's also venomous as all hell, so his brothers HAVE to make sure that they continously call him "small, cute, and adorable" lest they suffer a week's worth of paralytic toxin. He can fit the palm of a hand and makes MC tie a little bow around his tail so he doesn't feel too bad about being under-dressed.

Beel, unfortunately, becomes a fly. A big fly (by fly standards), but a fly nonetheless. You wouldn't even know that it's him if he weren't traffic cone orange. Literally everyone panics when he gets "Poof!-ed" because it would only take some bozo with a swatter to put an end to the sweetest brother... Belphie never lets Beel out of his sight and even has a tiny leash so he can keep track of him if they have to go out. He's a lot easier to feed like this, but everyone has to resist that automatic urge to smack him away from their dinner plates.

Belphie ironically has the largest lesser form out of his brothers. He's a cow, more specifically a bull, but there's nothing special about him aside from the navy fur. He is a full grown bull and he loves to lord it over the others if they all get "Poof-ed!" at once. Also, good luck getting him to do ANYTHING in this form. He is a bull. If he does not want to move, he will not be moving. Not even Beel can carry him like this. He's the only brother who doesn't mind getting "Poof-ed!" all that much because of it.

[authormars]

In my Future AU, Diavolo and Lucifer are married and live at the castle.

And let me tell you, Diavolo never realized how fucking small Lucifer was until then. Human form or demon form.

In the castle, everything is higher up, since royal demons and generally taller than other demons. Angels are especially small compared to royal demon because the average angel is smaller than the average demon! Lucifer is tall for an angel! (Though, pretty average for an archangel)

Diavolo has to grab things from taller shelves, lest he look up and Lucifer is climbing on counters to get the kettle and tea.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[foggydreamergiver]

Lucifer, holding a rock: MC just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".

Diavolo : If you don't marry MC, I will.

[anintrovertedechoe]

the brothers: mc let me carry ur bag for u ! ur human it might break ur back and then u’ll die :((

solomon: my back hurts !!

the brothers (and barbatos): lmao kys

[janahanooo]

Did I get inspired by the fact that I was all alone on Valentines day? Yes, so have something I made in my misery.

Mc: I live with seven VERY handsome men

Mc: meaning, I should have at least got something from them, BUT NOOoOooo

Mc: so I wasted a night of making chocolate for nothing!

Barbatos: oh Mc... have some more tea

Mc: *sob* Barbs, why does my love life suck?

Barbatos: *he know that the bros made chocolates for Mc but they were too scared to give it to them*

Barbatos: maybe next year my dear

Mc: *sob* yeah, maybe next year...

Diavolo: OH MC! Happy romantic feelings day!

Mc: *sob* Dia, it's called Valentines day

Diavolo: oh, then HAPPY VALENTINOS DAY

Mc: close enough... and thanks Dia.

Diavolo: have some chocolate and rose! Only the best for you!

Mc: ... you know barbs, I actually don't mind that I didn't get anything from them.

Barbatos: ...alright then. Shall I reserve a dinner for the two of you?

Diavolo: OOOOH, yes! I would like that! Mc, what do you think?

Mc: sure<3

Lucifer: where is Diavolo? *has come to give him the finished documents*

Barbatos: on a date

Barbatos: with Mc

Lucifer: ...oh.

Lucifer: *on the phone* Code red Mammon.

Mammon: *on the otherside of the call* on it boss!

Mammon: *yelling to the others* RELISE SATAN!

Satan: *demonic rampage*