#obiwan: your already dead anakin

[gaily-daily-musings]

(Force ghost Obi-Wan visits Anakin at the moment of his death)

-

Vader is slipping away, fading into the ether. Obi-Wan can feel the end of it in the Force. And yet even as he watches, Obi-Wan rages against it. He cannot let him.

Obi-Wan had come to terms with Vader and his past a long time ago. He had accepted his part in it and let go. He was a Jedi, and he had forged ahead and put his faith in the boy. In Luke. But he had never expected this. Vader–Anakin–to come back. Not after so long. It was less that he'd lost faith in Anakin, and more that it was necessary for him to be able to move on. How cruel the Force was then, to give Anakin back only to take him away again.

Obi-Wan cannot let him.

As his last words leave his mouth, taking with it his last breath, Obi-Wan rushes to his side. It would take a miracle. He, Yoda, and Qui-Gon, had all had to receive extensive training to maintain their consciousness after death. He had but mere minutes. But Anakin was the Force's son was he not? He was the Chosen One. And oh he'd believed it was Luke. And it was in a way. But also Anakin. Always Anakin. So if anyone could do the impossible, it was him.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin's eyes widen. He has no mouth to speak anymore, caught in death's grip. Yet still his voice rings true. "Master I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I–"

"Hush now and listen carefully. We don't have much time."

Indeed, even now he could feel the way Anakin was merging back into the Force. Gone forever. Just like when he'd fallen to the Dark. Except now it was worse. Because now Obi-Wan would truly never see him again. He has no heart nor any body yet it aches. No please, he begs silently. One last time. One last miracle.

"You're in the netherworld of the Force. But I can teach you how to revisit corporeal space and retain your consciousness. A path to immortality."

"But…why…?"

Confusion and remorse burst through. Luke hugs his dead father's body to his chest.

"Never mind that! Do you wish this path, Anakin?" He cannot keep the desperation from his voice.

Anakin looks up at him. "Yes."

Obi-Wan has no breath but he feels his chest heave anyway. "Right, let us begin quickly…"

-

Yoda and Qui-Gon had manifested beside them as Anakin grew stronger and more grounded in the Force. Their voices helped steer him away from the wave which would have swept him away.

After all is said and done Anakin stands before him. Anakin, as he was. As he used to be. Obi-Wan almost cannot believe it even with the proof in front of him.

"Masters." Anakin looks around him, overwhelmed and teary eyed.

"Anakin." Qui-Gon smiles proudly. He moves to hug him. "I was watching you always. You did it. I knew you could."

Ankain squeezes back.

Yoda nods at him, a smile on his old face. Obi-Wan yearns to hold him too, but he hesitates. Unsure how to anymore or if it is even welcome. It's been so long. And there is so much to say. He's sorry he gave up on him. He's sorry he didn't try harder. He's sorry for causing him so much pain.

There is no shielding in the cosmic force. It is all open and bare. Anakin feels all of it. He is frozen in place. In turn Obi-Wan can feel Anakin’s own remorse. His guilt burns alongside everything else. But above all his soul aches for Obi-Wan's just as well.

Oh. Oh Obi-Wan wishes he could hide himself away like before. Put up a wall and meditate this away. This is too raw. Too open. He is gutted and speared and on display.

But so is Anakin.

"Obi-Wan."

They fall into each other. Their souls intertwining finally. There is love. Love. He is made of it. He radiates it. He'll never let this go again. Not ever.

-

The party lasts far into the night. Luke gives them a smile and turns away to rejoin his friends. Anakin smiles proudly at him. Yoda has already returned to the Force. Only he and Anakin remain to watch the festivities a little longer.

Obi-Wan turns to observe him. Anakin is as radiant as he'd been at 23. Curly hair, his Jedi robes in place. He looks exactly as he had been. Obi-Wan feels so old standing next to him. His eternal boy. It didn't seem fair, but Obi-Wan wouldn't have it any other way.

Anakin shifts to peer down at him as if taking him in for the first time. His eyes wander his face and wrinkles.

"What?"

Anakin reaches up to drag a hand through his white hair. Obi-Wan bristles at the touch, leaning in without meaning to. His soul has always reached back for Anakin.

"Nothing. Just looking at you I guess."

His ephemeral form makes a valiant effort at blushing. Then Anakin opens his mouth and completely obliterates any chance he had at saving face.

"Can ghosts have sex?"

They were both of and in the Force. Anakin was him and he was Anakin. It was the closest they'd ever been and ever would be. But instead of saying any of that Obi-Wan touches his beard and strokes the memory of bristles.

"Can't say I've ever tried."

Anakin grins.

[cantpickafandomtbh]

watching the clone wars after rebels and the other sw movies is basically just signing your own death sentence.

like you start watching and already know that by the end of these seasons, Anakin is gonna turn, the amazing, loveable clones will be dead, and Ahsoka and Obiwan will never see each other again

but you still watch it, fall in love with all the characters and then find yourself crying on the floor over a “kids show”

[tennessoui]

Ok but in the mobfather series I would love to see something where obiwan puts himself in harms way for Cody. Because we know obi is totally unhinged and not a good person ™️ but Cody is his family forever and obiwan would do anything for Cody.

hi yes this came directly from my burning desire to write a anakin & cody story, so it's probably not exactly what you wanted but I actually like it a lot and I wrote it in a record 15 minutes damn

(1k)

Cody stares at the open door. “I thought you’d be in the hospital.”

“If it makes you feel better, you can put me in the hospital like you did Obi-Wan,” Anakin Skywalker bites out, stepping forward into his apartment, uninvited. Cody doesn’t even know how he found his apartment.

“I didn’t put that goddamn idiot into the hospital,” he snaps back, feeling safe enough to turn his back on Skywalker and return his attention to his own cut open arm.

He’ll need stitches for sure, but it’s much too suspicious for both Obi-Wan and Cody to go to the same hospital for the same sort of wound. Doctors are, usually and regrettably, smart enough to ask questions.

Skywalker stalks forward, still very much uninvited. Cody can’t tell if this arrogance is homegrown or instilled by Obi-Wan’s very obvious need to give him anything he wants.

“He got in the way of the bullet, I didn’t fucking push him,” Cody says sharply, even as Skywalker sits down across the table from him and surveys his own wounds.

It’d been a normal evening, mostly. Skywalker had been somewhere else, thank God, and Cody had stepped in to be not only the boss’ second, but his constant shadow as well.

“For old time’s sake,” Obi-Wan had joked, minutes before someone angry enough at the family had made a move against the person standing closest to the boss. It had been a shot meant for Cody. Obi-Wan had gotten in the way.

Someone must have called Anakin in the interim because when Skywalker pulls Cody’s arm closer to him, his knuckles are busted and bloody.

“Fight night?” Cody asks, even though he knows the answer.

Skywalker raises his eyes to glare at him and then drops them back down to the wound. The attacker had had a knife as well, one that had slashed deep into Cody’s forearm when the guy had gone for the downed mob boss, looking as if he couldn’t believe his luck.

“He’s dead.” Is all Obi-Wan’s pretty bird says, picking through the first aid kit. “Didn’t last long.”

Cody thinks privately to himself that the guy had no chance of surviving at all, not when Skywalker’s eyes look that dark. “Any information?” he asks instead of pointing this out.

Skywalker starts cleaning the wound. The dick doesn’t even warn him it’s going to hurt.

Sure, Cody knows it’s going to hurt, but he also thinks that Skywalker could stand to be more gentle and considerate.

“Thought you were me,” Skywalker finally mutters as he laces the needle and thread. It takes him a few tries. Cody, magnanimously, doesn’t say shit.

“Because we look so much alike,” Cody nods.

Skywalker glares at him. “Don’t make me laugh, I’m pissed as hell at you.”

To accentuate the statement, Skywalker stabs the needle into his skin. “Fucking hell,” he curses. “Warn a man.”

“Thought you were me because you were standing so close. Heard the boss was dating the bodyguard, thought you were me.”

Cody is not drunk enough to deal with the fucking jealousy that permeates the relationship between Obi-Wan and his pretty bird. “You fucking serious?” he asks, taking a swig from the bottle of alcohol Skywalker had cleaned the wound with.

“Deadly,” Skywalker smirks.

Cody watches for a few seconds as Skywalker continues to stitch his wound. “You seriously jealous right now? Enough to come here instead of wait at the hospital?”

“Surgery,” is all Skywalker says. “No good at waiting.”

He makes another two stitches. Cody thinks uncharitably he’s seen better.

“Not jealous,” Skywalker breaks the silence suddenly, hand hovering over the wound. “Glad.”

Cody blinks. Obi-Wan’s currently in the hospital, apparently undergoing surgery because he was stupid enough to take a bullet meant for Cody, and Skywalker is glad?

“That you were that close,” Skywalker elaborates, eyes darting down to his arm again, hand moving in a sudden blur. “That you cared that much. This was just a fluke, wasn’t it? A bullet comes for Obi-Wan, you’d intercept, that’s why you were that close. You just didn’t think one would come for you.”

Cody opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, shocked speechless.

“He’s got family,” Skywalker says, finishing the stitches with a flourish. “I got family too. But if I gotta die for you, Cody, I’m gonna kill you, you gotta know.”

Cody huffs a laugh as Skywalker cuts the thread. “But you would?”

Skywalker hums. “Obi-Wan’d be sad to see you go,” as if this was a hypothetical exit interview and not a funeral. “Don’t want him sad.”

He picks up the spool of bandages by Cody’s elbow. “Don’t want him injured either,” he says, wrapping the arm. “So this was just a fluke, wasn’t it?” When Skywalker looks up at him again, his eyes barely look human. There’s something dark--but emotionlessly so--about them. He ties the bandage and presses his thumb against the covered wound, hard.

Cody can’t stop his wince, but he does bite his tongue to silent the exclamation of pain.

“He got a family he’s gonna want to risk himself to protect, I understand, I got my own.” Skywalker murmurs. “But as his family, we gotta be stupider. We gotta risk ourselves first. Cause you’re not gonna like me if Obi-Wan Kenobi dies on your watch, Cody. And I think you already don’t like me much at all.”

“That a threat, boy?” Cody asks, ripping his arm away and cradling it to his chest. Skywalker stands and Cody follows him because he’s not about to let Skywalker have the high ground bere.

“It’s a promise, Commander,” Skywalker says quietly. Then he flashes his eyes down to Cody’s arm and back up. “Wash that with cold water twice a day, starting tomorrow. I’ll text you when Obi-Wan’s allowed visiting hours.”

And then he’s gone, as suddenly as he came in, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

Cody grabs the handle and slams it shut. A tiny flame of respect sparks in his chest, but he’s ferocious in beating it down. He promised himself many, many months ago, when Skywalker first demanded he make him macaroni and cheese but only the ones with the farm-themed noodle shapes, that he would never, ever respect his boss’s pretty bird.

This changes nothing.

[obiwanobi]

i’m going through all your au tags and I’m having so much fun omg they’re all amazing. Palpatine definitely sees obiwan's attachment to senator anakin before obiwan himself and sends people after anakin because obiwan can't like anyone like this for his future plans. palpatine be like skywalker+dead=1000 steps closer to my plans but he actually helps his dear student obiwan finally understand and even admit his feelings to Anakin,,

(Sith Senator Kenobi and Senator Skywalker AU I guess?) 

“You’re laughing. You’re half-dead in a pool of your own blood and I just said I love you for the first time in my life which almost makes me want to kill myself right this instant for having disgusting feelings and you’re laughing.” 

Anakin's faint chuckle turns into a hiss as his hand presses against the dark stain over his abdomen. He still looks up at Obi-Wan with a playful spark in his eyes. 

“Because it’s hilarious. Also, I think I might pass out soon and if you kill yourself right after it’s going to look like a very romantic gesture, and I know how much you would hate that.”

“Force, I already regret everything.” 

“Hu-hu, Kenobi, it’s too late now, you’re trapped with me forever, even in the Corellian hell we’re definitely both going to once we’re dead.”

Obi-Wan’s arms tighten around him. “It’s a date, then.”

[1-800-fiction]

Every Word

Fandom: Star Wars

Request: “i’d absolutely die for an anakin x insecure reader with angst and fluff tbh” - @fungusbabey

Word Count: 1205

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry its been a while! Hope yall like x

———————————————————————

Usually, you’d love to hear the sound of laughter, but this time was different. Anakin was sitting across from you, next to Padme. They were laughing together, joking about Obi-wan’s hilarious mistake on the previous mission.

His hand was on her leg, a simple gesture which made you sick to your stomach. You never wanted to admit to yourself how much you cared for him let alone anyone else. He was and never would be yours, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see him falling for another woman.

You saw the way he looked at her, eyes full of love. You wish he’d look at you like that. They had slowly gotten closer and closer to each other. Once their legs brushed up against each other, it was time for you to go.

“Excuse me” Your voice came out shaking, almost a dead giveaway. Anakin’s eyebrows raised as you did. You walked away for only a second before bumping into Obi-Wan in front of you. His soft and gentle hands held you still as he looked at you with worry.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked with concern. You mumbled a pathetic response before breaking away from his grip and leaving the room. You could feel the weight on your chest get heavier the further you ran away.

Faint voices trickled down the end of the hallway, but you managed to escape into the nearest bathroom and lock yourself inside. With your back against the wall, you slid down to the floor with tears starting to roll down your face. You had no idea where this weakness inside you was coming from. You were always so strong and never cried, now here you were crying over a stupid man child.

It had already been a tough week, so every emotion, everything bottled up had come out at once. You stood up to wipe away your tears and splash your face with cold water. There was no hiding that you were just crying like a baby. The shame would keep you locked in there forever. A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts.

“Y/N?” Anakin called out, concern laced in his voice. You slammed your fist on the counter in frustration before pulling yourself together the best you could. You opened the bathroom door and came face to face with him. Your heart skipped in your chest and you struggled to speak.

“Hi” You stuttered awkwardly while trying your best to smile. Before he could reply, he shoved his way through the small crack in the door and shut it behind him. Your heart was going a million miles a minute so suddenly.

“Wh-wh-wha-what are you doing?” You stuttered in confusion.

“Tell me what’s wrong. I know you’re upset Y/N” He said softly while grabbing your arm.

“Nothing is wrong” You pulled your arm away from his grasp, not wanting the feeling inside you ache more. Anakin scoffed at your response humorously.

“Y/N, you can’t lie to me, I know you too well” He smiled with pity which only made you angry.

“Nothing” You snapped harshly. Your emotions were fluctuating dramatically while you panicked. Anakin opened his mouth to protest but you pushed past him and ran out the door. Padme and Obiwan stood outside waiting which only added to the humiliation.

You ran to your room on the other side of the ship and locked the door once you got inside. Grabbing the pillow on your bed, you used it to muffle your screams and soak up your tears. Your Jedi ancestors must be ashamed of you at this moment. You need to focus on your life mission, not your feelings over a boy but you couldn’t help but feel the jealousy and envy of the attention he gave her.

The locked bedroom door beeped and opened to reveal Obi-wan, your master. You should have known he would have had a master key. Shoving your head back into the pillow, you heard the door shut and soon felt the bed dip by your back.

“Is this about Anakin?” He went straight to the point, didn’t he? You sat up and walked over to the window, not wanting him to see your face. You could already die from humiliation at this point.

“No” You flat out lied. Obi-wan sighed loudly, knowing you would never admit it. He walked over and stood beside you, watching the stars in space. It was a peaceful sight however not this time.

“We both know that’s a lie” His calmness made you snap, causing your emotions to get the best of you.

“Fine, Obi-Wan. Yes, I am in love with Anakin! Its hurts so much to see him in love with someone else. Is that what you wanted to hear?” You yelled at him with tears running down your face.

“Master?” A voice came from behind you. You knew that voice all too well.

“How much did you hear?” You almost whispered, knowing full well he heard your confession. Anakin didn’t reply, confirming what you already knew.

“Yes, Anakin?” Obi-Wan answered him.

“The Council wants to speak with you now,” He said awkwardly. You knew you had just fucked up your entire friendship with him. Obi-Wan hummed a reply before leaving your room. You still hadn’t turned around to face Anakin, but you knew he was still there.

“Look An-“

“Did you mean it?” He asked, cutting you off. With a deep breath, you turned around to face him.

“Every word” A tear slid down your face. There was no point in denying it since he already heard it.

Suddenly he ran right up to you, pulling you into him. Before you could react, his hands held your face as he leaned down to kiss you but you pushed him away before he could.

“What are you doing?” You shook your head, not wanting to believe what was happening.

“I’ve been waiting to hear you say that” He smiled as he leaned his forehead against yours. The tears continue to fall down your face while you processed the situation. Anakin’s soft hands wiping them away for you.

“I love you” He whispered, looking deep into your eyes. You could swear time stopped when he said those sweet words to you.

“But, how- I mean- are you-“ He cut off your rambling by placing his lips on yours. Now this time you didn’t push him away.

“I’ve always wanted you, Y/N. I thought you hated me” He chuckled which made you smile. The tears running down your face now stopping.

“I don’t hate you, Anakin. I never have nor could never” He sighed in pure happiness once the words left your mouth.

“I thought you wanted Padme” You admitted to him.

“She’s a friend, that’s all. It’s you that I’ve always wanted” He chuckled against your lips.

“Are you sure? Because if you don’t its fin-“

“Yes, Y/N. I love you. I mean it” He whispered into your ear while you held each other in a warm embrace. Anakin pulled you closer and didn’t let go.

“You really mean it?” You question again, still not believing what was happening. He chuckled into your lips as he smiled.

“Every word”

[tragedy-for-sale]

So I have always wondered how the clones would react to seeing Obiwan and Anakin again directly after Umbara. Like would they flinch away when they gestured? Would they try to stay strong in from of their generals but all breakdown together in the middle of the night? Would they breakdown in front of their generals? There I so much potential to angst. The mighty angst iguana has chosen a good arc to write about

Okay, I did write a fic similar to this. It's not directly after, but it's close enough. The link is below 👇 that fic is actually one my personal favorites in terms of heartbreak, right next to 'Aren't you proud?'

https://suddenly-clones.tumblr.com/post/616699354407911424/loyalty-means-everything

Anyway, here's your direct reaction after. Okay well it's really just Rex's, I wanted to do a part two, but I think the fic above is the second part in a way.

Strong in The Real Way

The brain is the most mysterious organ in the human body, no one can't say they truly understand how the human brain works. When the human brain is traumatized, oh, now that's when things get strange.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

They won. They took Umbara, Krell was dead, Dogma was gone, now it was time to get the hell off this planet. Captain Rex had gotten his boys ready to depart. Kix and a squad were out searching for the bodies of their brothers, everytime a few troopers came back with dozens of bodies, Rex's breath fell a little shorter. He couldn't do this anymore. Fives had taken over sweeping the facilities one last time and wiping any critical information. Jesse had gathered all the shinies, they hadn't left his side.

Rex stood in front of the cruisor, watching all his beaten boys board. He gave all of them hug, squeezing tightly and giving them a kiss on the head before they boarded. Every trooper, they all waited patiently in a line. If the brother was crying, Rex would wipe away their tears, caress their face in his hands and whisper, "It's okay, it's over now." He'd comforted every man but no one had comforted him. He'd been the last one to board. After Jesse and his shinies had boarded while singing a broken lullaby. After Kix and his med-crew came with the last of the body bags. After Fives and his section finished packing the occasional resources. Only after every man was on the ship, safe inside, did Rex step on the ramp, looking to Umbara and cursing the fact Skywalker had left them with that- that-

Rex put on his helmet to hide his now reddening face. Unlike all his brothers, he boarded the cruisor alone. He walked down the halls and to the lift by himself. As he did, his mind kept him uncomfortable, making him relieve that moment over and over again. He started to shake, his knees suddenly so weak, Rex held himself as he walked, hunching down as he fought the urge to fall to his knees yet again. As he stood in the lift, he pressed the emergency stop button, taking off his helmet, throwing it. "DAMMIT!" He wailed as he scratched at his armor as it suffocated him, stumbling back to lean against the wall, "Dammit-" he whined, holding his head as he cried. He slammed his fist into the wall, then looked up. He didn't want to move, he wanted to stay here and cry. But he couldn't, a Captain has to care for his crew. So Rex wiped his eyes, took a deep breath, put his helmet back on and started the lift again. He had to be strong again.

When he stepped out of the lift, Vaughn ran up to him, "Sir, General Kenobi and the 212th are coming up in the larties as we speak." His voice was weak and broken, just as every brother. "D-do I have to give my briefing?" He asked, as if he was scared of the answer.

"Okay," Rex responded initially before looking at Vaughn's patched up face, "N-no, Vaughn," Rex shook his head, you go rest, I know what happened so I'll cover it." He watched Vaughn's face light up ever so slightly in relief. The trooper nodded before excusing himself. Rex watched as he scurried off, Rex wished he could do the same, hide away in the arms of his brothers. But alas, he couldn't. He instead, was headed to the lift yet again to go to the loading docks, awaiting the arrival of the 212th. Back in the lift, he felt that suffocation flood over him all over again, it was so easy to fake it in front of his boys, but when he was all alone those demons came creeping in and he had no reason to hold himself together.

When the lift opened, Rex took another sharp breath, stepping out he saw the ships come in, a few already had landed. Rex didn't feel his pace pick up as he saw General Kenobi and Cody step out together, they looked so battered and held no urge to hurry. "Captain, how are the men?" Kenobi asked in a softer voice, usually that question held light, but it was spoken with the solemn feeling of darkness.

"They're doing alright, sir, all things considered." Rex mustered out as he forced himself to attention. He didn't know why, but he felt like covering his chest as he stood in the presence of the Jedi. Cody must've had the same feeling, for he'd moved to stand next to Rex. "I told my men that they didn't have to give their briefing, they need the break, I hope you don't mind, sir." Rex explained.

Obi-Wan nodded, understanding Rex's actions completely. "Of course, Captain, please, don't force yourself, we don't need it right away." Obi-Wan offered as the three began walking and as they did, Rex had reached for his older brother's hand, and when Cody took his, they gripped their hands tightly. "Anakin is en route from Coruscant, we'll be dropping out of hyperspace once we reach the mid-rim so he may join us, until then, Captain." Obi-Wan turned, offering his smile, "Get some rest, both of you." Obi-Wan put his hand on Rex's shoulder, who instantly snapped back into Cody. Obi-Wan stopped instantly, Obi-Wan's sad eyes looked up to meet Cody's, hidden behind his helmet. He- he wasn't going to hurt him.

Cody caught Rex, looking up to Obi-Wan with the same thought. "Right." Obi-Wan brought his hand back to his side and continued walking as if nothing had happened. He couldn't help Rex, no matter how much he wanted too. That was Cody's job, Obi-Wan knew, as well as the fact he couldn't help Cody either. It had just been them in the gunship and as he thought of their conversation, of that moment, shaking his head, Obi-Wan brought himself back into the moment. "I will be on the bridge the entire time, if you two need anything, com me and I will see it through."

"Thank you, sir." Cody spoke, he was now holding his brother in a hug, close to him. Rex was shaking with every step and only Cody was holding him up. "I'll check on all the men and check on you on the bridge as soon as I can." Cody added as they entered the hall. Obi-Wan nodded, he had his arms crossed and kept a distance. As they walked down the hall, Obi-Wan could sense all the pain and agony broadcasting from his men. They were in so much pain.

"Alright, Cody, but don't worry about me, worry about your brothers, they'll need you." He said as they reached the lift. Obi-Wan nodded to his Commander before the lift took him away. Cody held his brother tightly, they'd take the next lift, Obi-Wan knew that.

Cody turned to face his brother, taking off his and Rex's helmet, then lifting up his brothers head, frowning at the sight of Rex's teary eyed face. Rex looked down in shame, taking a slow, steady breath before whispering, "I'm sorry I flinched, I know you love him which means I should trust him but-"

"Shhh," Cody hushed, "It's okay," he told Rex, wiping away his little brother's tears, "You don't have to be strong all the time, especially not for me, I can be strong enough for the both of us." Cody explained as the lift opened. "Okay, lil'un?" Cody asked, still speaking in that hushed tone. The two stepped into the lift, holding each other tightly.

"Okay, bubby." Rex mumbled as watched the lift door close. Here he was, back again in the lift. But this time, he didn't feel that demon lurk in. He had his big brother fighting it for him. Rex brought his head up and pressed his forehead against Cody's. The two stood in silent, not moving, and as they stood there, for a minute, the world stopped crumbling, their hearts stopped bleeding, right there in the lift, even if for only a second,

They started to heal

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

|| Tag List ||

@ct7567329 @a-lil-perspective @mageofcole @advcntura @crying-at-ikea @stuckyjacos @crahsystor @obiorbenkenobi @satan-incarnate-666 @kalm421 @passionofthesith @mackstrut @jonathananubian @kamino-mermaid @hotnthorny @jyvorakal @xdangerouslysoftx @big1ron @blue-haired-grace @rangerslayer-97 @alienoresimagines

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[big1ron]

~ Ghosts: A Very Self Indulgent Clone Wars Story. Part 1 of ? ~

~ Title says it all. Includes a few but not all of the clones. More Jedi centrered this time, no I don’t care if that’s not how the force works it is now. Rated E for everyone. ~

~ yes I will get back to the other story very soon don’t worry about it ~

It had been a month since umbara but it felt like way less. No matter how much time it still seemed fresh in everyone’s minds. The world the 501st and 212th had been deployed on wasn’t helping any either. It was currently dark, and foggy. And chilly. It wasn’t below zero, but it was cold.

Tup couldn’t sleep. The atmosphere reminded him far to much of umbara and it was to cold in the barracks to rest. Plus his favourite heat source had run off. The nerve. So, he paced the halls outside the barracks. The planet already had a base built, as it was republic controlled. But the battalions had been sent there in preparation for a large scale separatist attack. That didn’t help his nerves. Nor did the fact he had heard the general and the commander discussing this planets unusual force and supernatural activity. But of course, that was just stories they tell to scare young padawans.

Suddenly he felt a chill and saw some of the thick fog from outside roll into the halls. That was weird... he walked in the direction it was coming from to see what was up.

It was coming from the hangar. The hangar doors should be closed for the night, but instead they were wide open. In fact, Tup knew they were closed before. How did someone get them open alone, and so quietly? The fog was pouring in from the outside and there was a dark figure standing alone in the massive opening. Only their shadow visible against the pale grey-blue of moonlight lit fog. The hangar still had all the lights off so he couldn’t make out any details.

“H-Hey... you’re not supposed to be here!” Oh tup hated the way his voice trembled. He shouldn’t be scared here, he could take whoever it was, even without a blaster. But it felt incredibly off. Whoever that was, didn’t feel like a vod.

Whoever it was turned around and their two glowing eyes pierced through the fog and right into tup.

“D-Dogma? Is that you?” It certainly looked like Tups brother, and of what Tup could make out, had the same armour. But it felt wrong. Very wrong.

Two double bladed lightsabers folded open, cutting through the dark. A green sabre in his left hand, and blue in his right. Tup screamed loud enough to wake the whole barracks.

Whoever it was cleared the distance between them in almost no time flat, way faster than a clone should be able to move. But in the light of the sabres, Tup finally got a good look at who it was. It really was Dogma. He had been right the first time. But at the same time, it wasn’t. Everything from his body language to the bloodthirsty hatred in his eyes while his face remained close to neutral wasn’t the brother Tup knew. It was beyond unnerving. And the low whir of these specific lightsabers was familiar to him. As if he could ever forget what the traitor Krell’s own lightsabers sounded like.

Tup backed away, dodging the strikes as they fell towards him. There weren’t any openings in the attackers defences, and Tup was just in his blacks. It was all he could do not to be struck through with each blow.

“What are you doing!? What’s going on!?” Tup rolled out of the way of another attack, but by the looks of it the other trooper was done playing around with him and the next strike made contact. Tup was struck through his shoulder and down across his chest. But before the second, killing strike could be placed, a squad of five troopers entered the hangar and opened fire.

The blasts were deflected and dodged, tup was thrown against the wall with an invisible shove. The attacker dashed towards the troopers, and with a few expertly placed swings the squad was quickly dispatched. The attacker disappeared into the base as Tup’s vision faded.

“Someone’s causing quite a ruckus in the hangar right now. Im surprised you’re not awake.” Qui-gon jin was standing near obi-wans bed, obiwan was still asleep. He was on his side, facing away. Face pressed against the pillow. “You know... it’s something big this time. Your troopers are in serious danger.” Quigon didn’t really expect obiwan to get up, or respond. He never did.

“They’ll be fine. Go bother cody” obiwan mumbled into his pillow.

“No I- wait, did you just respond to me?!”

“Mmmm should i not’ve?” Obiwan rolled over and suddenly the realization hit him and he sat straight up with a jolt “WAIT MASTER QUIGON?!”

“Yes, I’ve been here the whole time. I thought you couldn’t see me! You’ve been ignoring me this entire time?!”

“No, no of course not! I just couldn’t see you until now! Wait, you said something about disaster in the hangar?” Obiwan got up and threw on his outer robes, grabbing the lightsaber on his bedside table. Quigon disappeared.

Obiwan rushed to the hangar and immediately stopped when he saw the five dead troopers near the entrance. He cursed quietly under his breath. Not quick enough. He ignited his lightsaber and sensed what he could from the room. The hangar doors were open, but he only felt one other life form in the room, and it was weak. Not whichever separatist had done this. If it had been a separatist at all. This attack was unusual. The doors left wide open but no droid force, and all these wounds were from lightsaber. He pressed a button on his comm link

“This is General Kenobi, the bass is under attack. The separatists are already inside the building, I want all squads active!”

The security system kicked on and Kenobi approached the other life form slowly. It was a trooper, attacked with a lightsaber just like the other five. This one didn’t have armour on, probably couldn’t sleep. The trooper was shaking, but it wasn’t that cold. He didn’t have much time, but still he ripped a strip of material from the bottom of his cloak to wrap the wound, and wake the trooper. As he thought, he was terrified.

“Can you tell me what you saw, trooper?” Obiwan kept his voice steady and calm.

“Krell he... Krells dead he cant... he-it’s...-“ Tup was falling over his words and Obiwan gave up on trying to get a straight answer once he realized this was an umbara trooper. He heard a distant lightsaber activate and quickly gave Tup the rest of his cloak and took off back down the hall he came.

Kenobi came face to face with anakin and ahsoka. Definitely not so he was looking for. Right? Right.

“They hit the command room. Communications still seem to be working fine, but all the trooper in there were attacked.” Anakin reported.

“Any survivors? Do you know who it is? One of your troopers is alive in the hangar but he couldn’t give me a straight answer. If we know who this is we’ll have a better chance of stopping them.”

“No survivors. But-“ all three of their comms beeped, alerting them to an occurrence in the western corridor, near the main power generator. Anakin and ahsoka took the main route while obiwan split off on a different route, to corner them.

The power cut out for a second as the knight and padawan made their way to the generator, before the backup lighting kicked on. Anakin and ahsoka could see a blue and green glow across the wall as they turned a corner, expecting to see General grievous. Instead they saw a clone, retrieving a double bladed lightsaber from a freshly stabbed brother.

“What are you doing!?” Anakin growled. His eyes told him that was one of his own men, but the force screamed danger and darkness. The clone turned to face the two Jedi, grinning at them.

The clone spoke, and it was a mixture between a clones voice and something else entirely. “You don’t know what these are, do you? Clones are weapons, created to turn on their makers. Mutiny is in their blood. I’m doing you all a favour. But I suppose you are still to naive to see that.”

“My men are completely loyal! None of them would turn against the republic. Not like you... I know who you are” Anakin was holding back, he did know who this was, but he didn’t know what, or how it was. If he struck now, it would be in fury and confusion

Ahsoka shot anakin a puzzled look, not understanding. “Master, isn’t this one of our men?” She asked quietly.

“No. This is the traitor Jedi. Pong Krell.” Anakin took a high swing, parried. Four blades left little opening in his defences. Anakin gave a slight force shove to off balance krell before striking for the middle, parried, fake mid and a high strike and- anakin is force thrown down the hall. He didn’t see the trooper’s hand even move for such an attack. Krell fled, and Ahsoka went after him. But he activated a blast door with the force and jumped through before ahsoka could.

Anakin was up and right beside ahsoka, cutting through the door. But before they could finish it sprung open again. Master Kenobi.

“We lost him!” Anakin cursed.

“Well did you see who it was?” Asked Kenobi.

“Yeah. Pong Krell. I know he was confirmed dead on umbara, but there’s no way it wasn’t him. I think he’s possessed one of my troopers or something. It’s not a mental problem with the trooper, as he could use the force. And fight in a way no trooper I know could.”

“That is... concerning to say the least. How do you suppose we stop this menace?” So the trooper on the hangar had been right. Obiwan should have believed him.

“Well he died once right? Why not kill him again?” Ahsoka chimed in.

Anakin was thinking the same thing, but he would have rather his padawan didn’t say things like that in front of his master.

“He was killed once and he came back. Clearly that didn’t work the first time. We should apprehend him and see what the council has to say about this. I think it would be wise not to kill him.” Obiwan didn’t really want to end up killing the trooper as collateral, but with the situation escalating, he might just have to.

A blast door slammed shut between Rex and his squad. Then a few more down the halls. Rex waited, blasters raised. He knew what would come next. It was no surprise to him when the blast door separating him from his group finally opened again, with his enemy standing at the ready. Four dead clones at his feet. But what was a surprise to him, was seeing that his enemy was Dogma. One of his own troopers. With the lightsabers of the traitor.

“Stand down trooper” Rex seethed. How could Dogma do this? He was so loyal! Dogma took a step forward. “Drop your weapons! Or I will be forced to shoot you!”

“Captain Rex. Is that any way to speak to an authority figure?” That didn’t sound like any clone Rex knew of. That sounded like...

“Stand. Down. Trooper.”

“For a mutinous clone such as yourself? I suppose it is.” The lightsabers whirred as they swung into motion, charging the captain. Rex shot back, but his bolts were easily deflected. He dove out of the way of the swing, but as he raised his blasters to fire again, they were cut in half. Krell raised to swing.

Rex was about to roll left when something else told him “no.” Time stopped for a minute as unseen hands guided the captain back to his feet, and his hands right onto the attackers. The other trooper looked surprised but fought back, trying to angle the blades into Rex. Rex struggled back, but he was losing. The other trooper somehow much stronger than him. “May I?” The same voice asked politely.

“Go for it.” Rex answered aloud.

Suddenly, it was as if rex was an outside observer to his own body. Watching through his own eyes. Whoever was in control now wrenched the green sabre out of Krell’s hand and pushed him back. “The force...” Rex thought. Rex’s body turned off one blade of the sabre and got into a ready stance. The opponent shifting and doing the same. Rex watched bewildered as his body moved on its own, all the grace and skill of a master.

“I sense I’m no longer fighting a-“ krell was saying, but whoever was helping Rex didn’t pause for a monologue. Their blades clashed once again but each move krell made was parried almost before it could happen. Rex had experience fighting dual bladed opponents, and he would not lose again. Wait, no, that wasn’t right. Krell caught them in the brief moment of confusion and Rex’s friend didn’t block in time. The blade nicked Rex’s leg.

“Anakin!”

“What, Master?”

“I sense... I sense master quigon is in danger.”

“What? How! He-“

“This way!” Obiwan suddenly turned a corner, heading away from the barracks where the group was originally headed. He began cutting through a blast door that blocked his path, and anakin joined to speed up the process. They heard a blast door open and close somewhere on the other side, and they got the door open just in time to see Rex and a lightsaber clatter to the ground.

Anakin and Ahsoka ran to him, Ahsoka turned him over and supported his head in her lap.

“He’s alive” Anakin breathed, relieved.

Rex blinked awake, back in his own body “hmm? Wha? That was strange...” Rex got up and grabbed a blaster from one of the dead clones “doesn’t matter right now, he went that way, we need to stop him!”

“Just wait up Rex. He’s probably already long gone. But you’re not dead, what happened?”

Rex stopped and looked back at anakin “I... don’t really know. I had help. I thought it was one of you, sirs. Their voice sounded a little like General Kenobi’s. I was asked permission and when I agreed it was like someone else took over my body. Definitely a Jedi. They fought off krell for me, but left once I was safe. I got a strange glimpse of a memory from them, they’ve fought a Sith with double bladed lightsaber before, but they lost.”

“You had help from my old master, Qui-gon Jin without a doubt. If he left you afterwards, than I think we may be able to get your trooper back. Set that to stun.”

Dogma was spotted in the medical-wing so kenobi and Rex headed to his last known location and Ahsoka and Anakin ran for the medbay itself. Anakin suspected that was where the real target was. The medbay was cleared best it could be, on Anakin’s orders but there was only so many places for the wounded to go. The blast doors were closed but they all knew that wouldn’t hold him.

As two lightsabers pierced the door Anakin held up a hand for the combat medics positioned behind makeshift barricades to hold their fire, before the door was kicked in.

A mixture of bolts set to kill and stun filled the air in an instant, but krell was good, and he dodged and deflected his way through the chaos. He force-shoved the medics to the ground and the two Jedi took that as their cue to switch in.

Anakin leaped up and struck down hard in a downward slash, that was deflected to the right. Ahsoka sweeper left but she was parried and flipped backwards against the returning strike. Though the Jedi continued to exchange strikes, it was clear that Krell was outmatched against two opponents. Ahsoka dropped her sabres and began to levitate, force choked without krell seemingly lifting a finger.

Anakin took another slash at Dogma. He had to break his focus before is padawan ran out of air. But his attack was deflected. On the return strike though anakin locked sabres with him, putting his weight behind it. Krell had to bring the second saner to match the force, or he would be cut with his own blade. The sabre lock was taking to long though and ahsoka was struggling harder.

Suddenly with a loud metallic clang of aluminum against someone’s skull, Dogma deactivated the lightsabers and fell to the ground, along with ahsoka. Anakin put away his own lightsaber.

“Did you just-“

“Yes.” Said Kix, holding a folding chair. “Now if you have binders I suggest you take him to the brig quickly because I have no idea how long that’s gonna hold.”

“Sir yes sir” said Anakin, still stunned.

Obiwan Kenobi Met Skywalker and Tano at the brig. Dogma hadn’t woken up yet, but they were going to try to expel Krell from him anyways. Obiwan opened the cell and the three Jedi entered. The cell closed behind them.

The Jedi pried into the clones mind, which was much harder to do when a dark Jedi was actively trying to keep them out. It was clear now, the two entirely separate entities, one weaker and dormant, the other much stronger and controlling. But after a few hours, they had started to blend. After just a minute rex had gotten access to a little of Qui-gon’s mind, but now it looked like e dominant force was trying to absorb the other into non existence. Skywalker solved this the best way he knew how. Applying tremendous force to both sides. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hand into a fist, driving a wedge through the troopers mind.

“No, Anakin!” Obiwan withdrew, but anakin was still putting on more pressure, slowly moving his hand closer to the clone’s head. He was struggling now, ahsoka had to hold the clone in place, they were trying to resist the power.

Anakin was getting frustrated, and the dark presence didn’t want to move. But it was budging.

“Stop Anakin! You’ll kill him!”

Skywalker wasn’t paying any attention to Obiwan. He was so! Close! He pushed harder. The clone screamed. But he drove that wedge just an inch further and withdrew.

Anakin opened his eyes. The clone had stopped struggling, or screaming. Skywalker thought he actually had killed him before ahsoka said

“Pulse is back. He’s breathing again.”

“Good.” Anakin wiped his hands “let’s go then. We can question him when he wakes up.”

The three Jedi left the cell before Obiwan began lecturing anakin. “You almost killed him! Why didn’t you stop when I told you to!? That was dangerously close to the dark side you know. That was brutal!”

“Yeah well Krell’s gone. I think. Thanks to me. So, you’re welcome.”

Anakin stormed back to his quarters.

[coffeezombiestuff]

Codywan Vampire 2

Obiwan woke up in a weird place. His body felt weird, everything felt weird as he sat up from the dirty floor. It took him a moment to realise, that he could hear nothing right now, not even the beating of his own heart or his own breath….Wait, he wasn‘t breathing at all right now! He hadn‘t even realised. 

Obiwans Hand went to his chest and under his armorplate. No heartbeat. What was going on? Was he dead? Had he turned into a forceghost without knowing it? Where was he? He got up on his feet and wandered through the cave. His lightsaber was missing, again. Or was it still missing? He couldn‘t remember too well what happened. He remembered that he was in Battle, he got wounded and then Cody was there and…

„Cody...“ He gasped and now memories hit him like the giant claw of a rancor. He looked at his wrist. The wound was gone, healed completely, not even a scar was left.

Now he was scared, walking faster through the cave. After a while a cry was to hear and he followed it. That sounded like Cody! Around a corner, he could see his commander, on his knees, face buried in his hands, while a tall man was standing infront of him, laughing loud and cold.

„Whats the Matter youngling?!“ the man said and Run his hand over Codys hair.

„Wasn‘t this what you wanted? The Eternity with your loved one?“ „THATS NOT HOW I WANTED IT!!!“ Cody screamed, moving away from the guy infront of him, a dangerous growl in his otherwise desperate voice.

„I killed him…YOU TURNED ME INTO A MONSTER!!“

„Yes you killed Obiwan Kenobi and I gave him a new life.“ The man growled low and dangerous. „So be more thankfull!“ „What if he will not wake up?!“ Cody asked and Obiwan could see, even from his distance how dark red tears run down his face.

„Oh he already woke up.“ The man said and Cody turned around, his red eyes fixed on Obiwan.

„Obiwan?“ he walked over to the jedi, but he stepped back.

„What have you done to me?“ Obiwans first Question was. Seeing Cody now infront of him, pale, red eyes, long fangs, even Claws on his hands, made him remember how Cody bit him in the neck and…oh by the gods. „You drank my blood…you killed me...“

„No...Obiwan I….I didn‘t wanted this...I didn‘t wanted to hurt you...I…“ More red tears run over Codys Face.

„I never wanted this...I drank your Blood yes, but I never wanted to kill you…“

„What happened to you?“ Obiwan wanted to know.

„Why did you…Cody you are scaring me...“ „I got...turned...You remember that one mission, down in this deep deep Cave?“ „I do remember but...“ Obiwan could remember that something had attacked Cody and bit him there as well, but could that turned him into whatever he was right now? The Brunette bit his lower lip and felt two pointy fangs piercing his lip.

„What did we become?“

„Immortal!“ The strangers came closer to them. He had the same scary features as Cody did.

„It was his wish after all.“ The man pointed at Cody.

„To be with you forever. Now that is possible, you will never age, never get Sick and will never die.“

„Yeah but drinking blood is the price we have to pay!!“ Cody yelled at that guy.

„Thats NOT how I wanted it! Obiwan...please believe me...I never wanted it this way...“ Obiwan looked at Cody, saw the desperation in his eyes.

„I believe you...“ he finally said, getting closer and hugged Cody.

„I still love you...“ Cody wrapped his arms around Obiwan pulling him as close as Possible Tears run down his face, he was sobbing uncontrollably and shaking like a leaf, while his lover stroke softly over his back.

„But you two should leave this place, if you wanna enjoy your immortality.“ the stranger said and turned away from them to leave.

„The young Jedi is here and he and his trooper will not hesitate to eliminate everything that isn‘t normal.“

„What?“ Obiwan looked up.

„Anakin would never kill Cody or me!“ „We aren‘t human anymore Obiwan...We can‘t go back to them...“ Cody turned his Comm on and they heard what Anakin was telling his team.

„You have your heartrate Monitors and your night-vision on?!“ they could hear Anakins Voice.

„Yes Sir.“ A clone, probably Rex, said.

„As you ordered, everything without heartbeat and a too low bodytemperature will be executed at the spot.“

„Very good Rex.“ Anakin said.

„Eliminate these creatures, but be careful not to shoot Obiwan! And lights out, your night-Vision is enough.“

„Yes Sir.“ The connection broke off and Obiwan looked confused at Cody.

„Night Vision? Its not even dark in here...“ „Its because we can see perfectly in the dark...for Humans eyes, its pitch black in here...“ Cody explained and took Obiwans Hand. „We have to leave...they will not see that it is us. They will kill us!“ „So we run away...“ Obiwan mumbled and looked a bit sad at Cody.

„Run away from everything and try to survive like this?“ „I fear….thats our li….Existence now….“

Obiwan sighed sad. That would be hard to leave everything behind. To leave Anakin behind, but he knew, he had no choice.

„Okay...Lets leave this place...“ He hold onto Codys Hand.

„It will be alright, I promise.“ Cody said and softly kissed his cool lips.

They hurried to get deeper into the cave, to another exit through which Cody had Entered the cave earlier.

„By the way Cody, do you found my lightsaber?“ „Of Course my dear. I always find it.“

[gospelofme]

Was Cody able to somewhat resist the chip?

Yes, I think so and I will explain my reasons in this jumbled dissertation.

Cody’s Rank

Cody isn’t just a commander, he is a Marshal Commander. The rank is actually equivalent to Admiral of the Fleet in the Navy and General in the Army. While he was essentially born a Commander, he had to have earned this rank, and he couldn’t have just mediocre talents to do so. He had to have some serious knowledge about strategy. He had to have done some pretty badass deeds on the battlefield and in training. I believe he held the rank of Marshal Commander at the start of the war, so he had to have earned that early on. He was handpicked by Alpha-17 to be specially trained and has received ARC training. This is also a big deal. Not many clones received this training, and very few were handpicked to be trained by Alpha-17. He had impressive combat skills and could accurately hit a fuel tank launched by Obiwan in one of the episodes.

Relationship to Obiwan

Cody has worked with Obiwan for 3 years. That’s plenty of time for someone who is fast learning and detail oriented to pick up on how Kenobi fights and the tricks he uses. Rarely is one seen without the other. 3 years is a long time to see what someone is capable of in terms of battle skills and survival skills. He knows what tools Obiwan has at his disposal. He knows how capable Kenobi is in the Force. He has likely seen him survive some pretty intense stuff. The dude’s gunship crashed and his still survived when men around him died.

When Kenobi had to fake his death, Cody had to be sent away. I believe this was done because Cody would’ve spotted the fake. I think the Council knew that if Cody didn’t believe it, Anakin wouldn’t believe it.

Order 66

When Order 66 hits, The Chancellor called Cody by his name and rank. Not number designation. I’m pretty sure Palpatine knew all of the clones that were connected to members of the Jedi council by first name basis. He had to have kept track them. I firmly believe he manipulated Commander Fox, since Fox was around so often (more on that later). Anyways, he has Cody carry out Order 66. Cody orders his men to “blast” Obiwan, and they miss him but hit the lizard he is riding. No big deal really, I mean...we see clones miss in the show, we see Cody miss. It’s not horrible or unrealistic that they miss. It happens. Maybe they thought they hit him? But since they see an intact lizard and Jedi fall, it’s more likely they knew they were a little off.

So

Cody sends down a probe to see if they got him anyways. Then he sends men down to scout the area. Men who would eventually become known as Purge Troopers by the way and work closely with Vader and Inquisitors to hunt down rogue Jedi.

The troopers arrive back, Cody asking them if they found Kenobi. One clone trooper stated “no one could’ve survived that fall”. His voice sounds like this would be a no-brainer observation. He sounds tired of looking. In the novelization, Cody thinks to himself “he could”. Knowing that Obiwan could’ve survived something like that, probably because he had already seen him survive a similar incident. Again, Cody knows exactly what Obiwan is capable of surviving. He has spent 3 years at that man’s side.

Does he order his men to search again and not come back without a body? Does he list all the things he’s seen Obiwan survive?

No

He orders them to start loading up.

He lets it go.

Him, Cody, a Marshal Commander.

Someone who’s never half-assed anything in his life.

Someone who had doubts that Obiwan was even dead.

He calls off the search.

Why?

What new directive can be so important that it takes the place of making sure your Jedi General is dead?

There are other scenes of clones making sure their Jedi was dead (Bacara, Bly, Rex-initially, Jesse).

Why did Cody just essentially go “fine whatever”?

Reasons

Now this could simply be a plot hole and I wouldn’t be surprised. But I want to believe that Cody’s pause and change in orders is a sign he resisted just a little. We see Jesse struggling with it briefly when Rex comes at him with logic. We see Rex struggling with it initially, he is even able to give Ahsoka a clue. Why can’t Cody have that same willpower towards a man who has saved his life countless times? I think he did have that willpower, but it wasn’t highlighted.

When the order comes through, it’s not long after Obiwan takes off on his lizard. With other clones, as soon as the order comes through, they fire on their Jedi. Why did Cody wait until Obiwan was pretty far up the wall? The further away, the less accurate they can be. He could’ve just opened fire on Kenobi with his own blaster and stood a better chance of hitting Kenobi then. The dude was trained by Alpha-17 and doesn’t often miss with a blaster.

Now I understand the lizard was pretty fast, essentially skipping over that wall like it was on flat ground. It could’ve simply been that he was too fast and was halfway up that wall in the span of a few seconds.

There is some speculation on if Cody purposely rushed the order to shoot Obiwan. I would think he’d hold the men under his command to a high standard. I don’t see his men missing their target often. Now, I do think that in the book it says that the lizard took the brunt of the blast. They were nearly right in top of Obiwan in their accuracy. But I think that if they had had more time to aim, they would’ve hit Kenobi.

I keep finding myself coming back to the main one. Cody had doubts about whether or not they got Kenobi. But he lets it go and gives his men different orders. Now he could just be eager to get off the planet. But he’s risking a lot by not making sure the objective is complete. We see in the final episode of the Clone Wars, how dedicated Jesse and his men are to trying to kill Ahsoka. They were willing and fine with full on crashing into a moon to ensure she was dead. That’s some intense AF dedication. We see Bly and Bacara shooting their Jedi multiple times to ensure they’re dead. They don’t just shoot them once and then shrug and walk off.

Again, you don’t see Cody just completing a job “bare minimum” style at all in the series. Why did he do that here with probably the most important directive of the war? What if it came out that Kenobi was indeed still alive and that Cody had failed to kill him? I can see questions being raised about the reason behind that since he was the closest clone to Obiwan. I can see some suspicion on loyalty being brought up if Vader saw Kenobi on the evening news over his nightly bowl of Cheerios.

@out-to-pasture

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith

Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here and then Episode II which you can find here. So here’s my weird live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode llI.

War! Huh Yeah! What is it good for?

There are heroes on both sides? We’ll see about that.. 

General Greivous first mention.. provided you’ve not seen the clone wars cartoon. 

So much shit goes down in these opening crawls, like Palpatine being kidnapped. 

Jedi fighters are coooooooool

Vulture droids are kinda cool too

R4 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Getting the I have a bad feeling about this out of the way early is wise because i feel like if you’re super aware of it, it might take you out of the moment. It’s used well here though. 

This gives me old StarWars Battlefront vibes. 

Ohhh nooooo My boy Savage is dead now... nooooooo.

Why does that guy sound like a surfer dude?

Oh look it’s the Captain America elevator scene but with Jedi. 

R2 is a weapon of mass destruction. 

Anakin seems mature already

Was that flip really needed Dooku?

Do it. 

Palpatine manipulating Ani is goooooood. 

He straight up tries to let Obiwan die and Ani’s not suspiscious? 

Palpatine is like “I swear to god if i die in this crash.. my plans.. all my plans.. fucked.”

“Another Happy Landind” Obiwan has Bob Ross vibes. 

Yeaaaah Organa 

Padme: Yaaay im a mom. Anakin: Well fuck... I mean yay.

“The happiest moment of my life” actually pretty sad knowing whats to come. 

Cal’s just a baby on a starfighter right now doing some training on The Albedo Brave.. poor baby.

Awwwh hun you aint having them babies.. not alive anyway. 

Love has blinded him, he’s a dark sider now. 

That dream could just be a normal child birth.. those things are intense. 

You know what, if they went to Obi-Wan he’d be like “FFs Anakin” but then he’d help because Obi is the best boy. 

Yoda as cool as he is.. could do a bit more. 

Obiwan knows Palpatines no good. 

This is just me stanning Obi now. 

I wonder if Ewan McGregor has seen the Clone Wars cartoon. 

Anakin you gotta earn your place, don’t be Episode 2 whiney bitch Ani again.

I wonder if we ever get any High Republic stuff will it go into Yoda and the Wookies. 

 Even the council are like.. Hmm.. Palpatines shady. 

“The chancellor is not a bad man” errrr... 

Yoda knows somethings up

Even Padme is like “Palpatine’s a bit of a cunt.”

Palpatines a good story teller tbf, even if he’s telling the story of killing his own master

Anakin apologising and like.. that look of Proud dad on Obi’s face.. awh hun. 

Eveyrones getting into Positions for Order 66... Wounds still fresh for me since playing Fallen Order. 

Scary alien man not so scary.. he’s alright. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover kids. 

Yaaay cool mounts. 

“Hello There.” We stan. 

The fact Obiwan doesnt managed to take a second lightsaber and use it in this fight is a missed opportunity for some duel weild coolness. 

Greivous skittering away is creepy af. 

I like both these mounts. 

“The dark side surrounds the chancellor” you know theres a sith lord somewhere... maybe like.. go get him? 

This is it, this is Ani’s decision time, they’re circling like tigers gonna fight

Ani realises he’s the Sith and still is like “Hmm.. but maybe he’s right tho”

Rip Grievous. 

Mace Windu should really tell a bunch of other people about Palpatine being a Sith like Ani just said. 

Oh he did, nevermind. 

...That long distance stare off is strange though. 

WTF is that noise when Palpatine does his spin.. gonna have fucking nightmares about that noise. 

KIT FISTO NOOOO YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL SMILE!

Mace could have killed Palpatine and saved us all a lot of hassle if he was just faster. 

Those no’s are grim. 

Palpatines acting is pretty good..pathetic but good. 

POWER!!! UNLIMITED POOOWWEEEERRRR!!!

You know what.. I’m with Samuel L Jackson, Mace Windu could have survived that. 

Where’d he pull the name Darth Vader out of? Is there a naming convention for Sith or is he just like... Vader is a cool sounding thing. 

You know what.. Anakin falls to servitude sooo fast. He’s such a bottom.

How come the clones don’t attack Anakin, how’d they know hes alright? 

This movie really just.. makes it seem like the Clones just betray the Jedi when we all know it’s the chip. 

Long head guy whos name i never remember NOOOOOOOO

Aayla Sekura.. i remember your name because damn ;) .. Noooooooo!

ANAKIN YOU LEAVE THAT YOUNGLING ALONE

You know what would be good..  if Anakin just got beat the shit out of by the younglings and thats how he died. 

Damn that young padawans a bad ass.

and he’s dead :(

Awwh Tarfful and Chewie.

Hey fuck you Anakin you whore. 

Going back to the temple is a gooood scene. 

Anakin you dick... i mean kill these assholes but the poor babies :c

Sith eyes kick in real quick. 

I suppose killing all those kids that he rly didnt need to because they could have just become Inquisitors did help/hinder? 

So this is how liberty dies.. good line Padme, nice.

Love Obi warning other Jedi to gtfo, We stan. 

Some dodgy acting in this scene but i’ll overlook it

Obiwan just taking a shit on the way to kill his boy.

Darth Maul has a more intimidating hologram.. good thing you’re gonna get cooked and become more intimidating. 

In a way Darth Vader did kill Anakin so Obiwan isn’t exactly lying to Luke about it.

Anakin never loved Padme. Controversial Opinion but i think he just had a childhood crush on her and never got over it. He wouldn’t have force choked her so quickly otherwise. He gets jealous like instantly, basically if you’re looking for an example of a toxic relationship.. here we go. 

Nice touch with the light being behind Obi and darkness behind Vader. 

Noooo Yoda. 

Euurghhh nails on chalkboard sound. 

“There’s no sign of his body” “Then he’s not dead” I’m sorry I thought Jedi faded to nothingness? 

This fights pretty epic tho

“From my point of view the jedi are evil” alright.. ya lil bitch

I think the I have the high ground thing is just an attempt to get Anakin to stop, a last desperate attempt. 

“You underestimate my-” Cut in half. 

Obi fucks up by not finishing him off tbf. 

Luke’s first apperace chronologically!

aand Leia. .. So Luke’s older... idk why i felt the need to state that but heyo

Yo is Vader’s vision always red?

“There’s good in him, i know” dies. .. Thats not something that someone whos lost the will to live would say. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oooooh in the Disney+ Obi show will we get him learning to communicate with Qui Gon.. pls. 

C3P0′s mind gets wiped..  a bunch.. but not R2. 

The funeral scene is nice. 

Damn they started work on the first death star like right away. 

TBF they also started work on Starkiller base pretty quick too so.. naa fair this checks out. 

Alderaan is gorgeous. 

Yo, Luke’s aunt is hot. 

You know what, Owen and Beru don’t get enough credit. 

Well that’s that.. I think I like this the most out of the prequels followed by Ep 1 then Ep 2.

[escailyyy]

A grandaughter's problem

“Ah so there’s my little lightsaber, come to visit your old granddaddy eh?” Obiwan Kenobi huffed wheeling his wheelchair down the hall of his retirement haven, towards the angry form of his most rebellious granddaughter Kira, rolling his eyes at her revealing clothes he raised an eyebrow in the way only a retired member of the Special Joined, Equanimity Division of Intelligence (J.E.D.I) order could “you just missed Rey and Daisy, who by the way had a very interesting piece of gossip to share”

“Daisy and Rey don’t know anything” Kira snapped crossing her arms over her scantily clad chest, taking in his subtle chastisement and making a beeline for Obiwan’s linen closet, emerging minutes later clad in one of her grandfather’s old black Jedi Council tunics and sweatpants three sizes too big “they need to stay out of my bloody life, what gives them the right to butt in?”

“So, you haven’t been receiving flowers for a whole week in a row coupled with Slayer CD’s?” Grandfather Kenobi wondered raising an eyebrow “and you haven’t been refusing to let them read the cards that come with said gifts?” Wheeling himself to the adjacent kitchen Obiwan reached for the ever-boiling kettle that was a hallmark of the Kenobi household “have some tea Kira”

“FINE, I’ll tell you…but only because you’re you and because you’re not being a pain in the ass like Tweedle Dee Dee and Tweedle Dee Dum” Kira accepted the tea with a grudging smile and groaned “Gramps I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!! I swear one minute I’m fine, going about my life, punching the crap out of my competition in the ring and one minute I’m not and then everything goes bloody sideways, and it’s all my stupid fault for saving Ben’s life”

“Kira, calm down, I assume it’s a long story yes?”

“Of course it is arghhh I just want to punch the bloody asshole”

“Start with the beginning, why did you have to save Ben’s life?”

Obiwan sighed, he often told himself had done a good job with the girls, Luke and Leia could vouch for that, after surviving the fall of the Emperor’s drug empire and with Anakin (no longer Vader) living out his remaining days in a high security glorified nursing home, Obiwan Kenobi hadn’t planned on one day being contacted by social services just about ten or so years later with the news that the secret son he’d had with Satine, who was supposed to be living a happy tragedy less life in Mandalore, was dead and unless he claimed custody of his son’s three orphan children the girls would be shipped off to some place far like Jakku.

So Obiwan had stepped up, retired to a modest house near the beach in Yavin IV and raised the girls himself with the occasional help from what was left of his friends.

Funny how the reason he’d abstained from mixing too much with Leia’s family was because he thought her own set of pre teen triplets were already enough work for Han and her her and in the end it turned out that it was Obiwan who found himself handing out sage advice to her.

Kenobi didn’t regret raising the girls away from Coruscant, if anything he was glad Rey, Kira and Daisy had gone to small town schools and roamed the beach and woods to their hearts content.

He just hadn’t counted with their strange fascination towards the Solo boys.

Anakin (Mustafar blast him) liked to laugh trough his life support and tell him he deserved it for all the grief Obiwan ever put his former Padawan trough.

“The beginning…Well, I guess it started last year when that bantha shit of Ben Solo said I wouldn’t know how to dress like a real girl even if Jessica Pava herself let me borrow her whole wardrobe, which is a load of… ”

“Was this before or after you ruined Kylo’s chance with Rey by showing her that video of him trashing his tattoo parlor after talking to Han” her Grandfather interrupted with narrowed eyes

“a bit after, the next day I think” Kira admitted ruefully “in my defense I have nothing against Kylo, he’s just a violent weirdo who doesn’t deserve Rey”

“Kira! You told Rey that Kylo had torched the falcon with Han inside!” Obiwan scolded “And belittle him infront of her every time you get a chance”

“He’s not good enough for her! Someone’s got to make sure she knows it” Kira protested crossing her arms over her chest.

“And Daisy with Matt?”

“Those two can ruin their relationship on their own”

“KIRA LAN KENOBI” Obiwan snapped raising his voice to scold her once again “sabotaging the happiness of your sisters is not something I approve of”

“But Grandpa!”

“Just continue your story”

“Well, then I told Ben that how would he know, since the only time he’s ever been interested in girls clothes was when he’s trying to take them off some poor unsuspecting soul”

“It all escalated from there until he said that from looking at my chest he understood why guys ran away from me”

“And you punched him in the face” Obiwan guessed wisely

“I did”

“You know his hostility might have had something to do with your single-minded tendency of ruining his brother’s happiness” but her grandfather’s observation got ignored by Kira

“But every time we’ve seen each other since then is the same thing” Kira kept on talking “he was always bloody remarking on the fact that I’m too boyish and tough and violent, and screw him I might not be all boobs and ass like Bazine but I’m not a bloody guy!”

“Isn’t that Bazine the girl you called “skanky cabaret stripper” after the Solo’s last New Year’s Eve party?“ Obiwan recalled the moniker being repeated with way too much frequency whenever Kira complained about Ben Solo’s womanizing and why that made Kylo and Matt entirely wrong for Rey or Daisy

"That’s the one, she’s got fake: nails, boobs, hair, teeth and personality"Kira listed angrily before returning to the subject at hand "so last week after debating it out with Rey in Han’s garage I got fed up, I just went downtown, bought a couple of dresses that would make even someone like Solo stop and pay attention and showed up at Poe’s birthday bash with Rey”

“Yes, I remember, incidentally Daisy told me that you and I quote "looked like a goddess of darkness, but got angry and left early’ and those were her exact words”

Kira smirked she HAD looked like a goddess thank you very much, that red and black one shoulder cocktail dress with her best skull printed fishnet stockings and loose hair had been enough to make her stand out even next to Phasma (which was a feat considering Phas had the term ‘Chrome Queen’ down to a trademark and Kira always looked like a punk rock Hobbit when they hung out together) “here’s the thing Granps, Hux was there too, he tried flirting with moi, which made me laugh at every three words he said”

“Why? Didn’t you want boys to notice the pretty dress? Daisy said Hux was your type” Obiwan had long ago accepted the fact that his girls were grown up, honestly after having to give them the talk before puberty and managing to survive ten or so years of synchronized periods, he considered the whole talking-about-boys thing the least traumatic of conversation topics.

“Hey one, ew it’s Hux, he doesn’t count as a boy because he’s a ginger and please feel free to take offense, gingers are the devil” Kira pointed out making her grandfather laugh “two, everytime Armitage Hux tries flirting with me it’s only because he’s trying to look casual when he turns around to make an actual move on Phasma, constipated and anal retentive as he is” Kira snorted “and three, it wasn’t a PRETTY dress, it was a badass masterpiece of clothing that was dug out from a ceremonial tomb in the ruins of Jedha and restored to its original glory by a black market Tailor”

“Kira what have I told you about doing your shopping in the ill-obtained-goods district of Coruscant?” Old Kenobi interjected with exasperation

“It’s a dress Grandpa…Or two or three, the tomb of Wesi Ker isn’t going to miss them and they came at a lower rate than the designer garbage General Organa loves to dress Rey in”

“Force give me patience” Grandfather said elevating his eyes to the sky “Don’t change the subject young lady, what did Hux do that you left early?”

“Hux? Nothing, didn’t I just tell you that Hux has a weird fetish for gigantic and blonde bi ladies?” Kira snapped, recalling Hux smarmy compliments “it was Ben! He’s the one who called me hot one moment and as soon as he saw Hux said I looked like cheap a skin girl, the idiot, chauvinistic, pompous bantha anus that he is”

“I take it you also punched him for the remark” in fact if she hadn’t it would have been a sign of the Apocalypse for Old Kenobi

“Of course not, it was Poe’s birthday, I promised Rey that there would be no punching”

“Then what..” old Obiwan raised his finger to ask

“…I took advantage of the slit in the leg of my dress to knee him in the nuts” Kira elaborated then she added for good measure “like a lady good and proper”

Privately Obiwan hoped it had hurt as much as Kira’s pride “so you left early” he deduced with a knowing look

“And ended up saving Ben Solo’s life, when I should have left him to die”

“I take it there’s more to the story than just leaving early then”

“Look I was going to! I even made nice with Poe and everything, bought him this very nice empire era X-Wing air freshener as a gift and abstained from insulting Finn’s obvious bad taste in boyfriends” Kira protested hotly “But Poe, the bloody Tautun, had to make a whole spectacle out of it and Daisy was begging me to stay because she’s Daisy and since Solo is Poe’s best friend, he attempted to cajole me into letting him drive me home, Grandpa, the gall of him! as tough I’m some simpering little idiot who doesn’t know what nasty shit he uses the Millennium Falcon for”

“Kira, didn’t you carpool in Rey’s car that day? Ben Solo might be a scoundrel but I’d have to agree on that one” Obiwan interrupted “I know, I know, you’re Kira Kenobi and can take care of yourself, but don’t blame an old man for being a worrier”

“I was planning to use my speeder, since Phasma brought it and I knew she’d be crashing with he’s-just-a-good-colleague Hux in his fancy Coruscant penthouse”

“A speeder in a dress? Force help me Kira! Not even your grandmother ever did that and believe me, I saw Satine wear a lot of strange clothing when escaping assassination attempts back in the day”

“Solo said the same thing…Well give or take a few ‘do you plan on flashing all the Commonwealth district’ and 'Kira let me drive you home blah blah blah’ oh and when I wouldn’t listen to him he kissed me but that’s unimportant what’s important is that Dabba the Hutt’s minions…”

“Kira?” Obiwan leveled her another Jedi Council eyebrow raise “Ben Solo kissed you?”

“He did, I was trying to get away from him, he followed me to the parking lot and kissed me” She squirmed under her grandfather’s all knowing look

“Ben, the scoundrel you’ve been complaining about since you were thirteen, that Ben” Another Jedi Council eyebrow

“Yes that Ben, the same one I slapped minutes later”

“The Ben that you claim not to like”

“Grandpa! I really don’t like him, he’s an egocentric prick with a hero complex and a wandering dick” Kira didn’t like the laughter in her grandfather’s eyes not one bit and okay maybe that first kiss hadn’t been that bad and maybe he’d tasted like cigarettes and corellian wine but she absolutely still hated him

“Oh the follies of youth my child”

“Anyway, he kissed me, and don’t look at me like that I slapped the grin of his face and told him I’d never in a million years be a notch in his bedpost then he got angry and told me he’d see me in hell for that lie and I thought that was it, except it wasn’t because as he was leaving the parking lot to join the party Dabba the Hutt’s minions ambushed him”

“What is it with Solo men and angering Hutts? I could tell our one or two stories about Han in his Hutt days that would make even you feel like vomiting” Obiwan huffed as he put two and two together “he might be my namesake but Ben takes after his father too much, why didn’t they just name the boy Han junior?”

“I know! But guess what it turns out this time it wasn’t Ben’s fault” Kira smirked “I know shocking isn’t it”

“Very” her grandfather agreed bring the mug of tea to his lips

“So the twilek and the togruta mobsters ambushed him because that skank of Bazine is now Dabba the Hutt’s sidepiece, and pummeled Ben into submission before stuffing the idiot in the back of a van” then she paused “this is the part where I decided to be an idiot too and followed them in my speeder” she HAD been forced to rip her dress but the shorter length had suited her just fine

“Did you subdue them with a blaster or did you let your fist do the talking?” Obiwan hummed putting his mug down

“A Blaster but how did you know?” In fact she’d followed them into a warehouse and had started shooting warning blasts as soon as she saw Solo tied up with a bag over his head

“I raised you Kira, I know everything” was the sage answer she got

“Anyway there was I shooting at some Hutt minions, saving Solo’s ass, handing him my spare gun and he suddenly gives me that look!” Kira grumbled opening her eyes exaggeratedly and fluttering her eyelashes while trying to imitate Ben “you know the look, the pathetic one Kylo gives Rey when she’s not looking”

“Ahh the Bambi eyes”

“Yes and it’s ridiculous because I’m beating the shit out of those dumpsters for him and we’re right in the middle of a fight, what the hell Grandpa? I didn’t ask for the Bambi eyes!” Kira got angrier “that’s Matt’s deal, hell it’s Kylo’s too, but I am Kira Kenobi and I could have lived the rest of my life perfectly happy without knowing Ben was capable of directing that look at me”

Obiwan knew exactly what look she was talking about, the one that only a Skywalker could replicate, a gaze that was a mixture of awe, worship and admiration with just the right ammount of love that made mooncalfs look tame. Leia had a habit of sporting Bambi eyes whenever she looked at Han after the war.

In hindsight maybe the triplets had inherited the look from Shmi Skywalker, the blame for this couldn’t be laid exclusively at Anakin’s door.

“So he gave you the Bambi eyes and…”

“And now I’m doomed”

“Perfectly understandable”

“No I mean yes, I mean” Kira fisted her hands “We were fighting and he’s looking at me like I’m his new religion or something and then we’re tying up the twilek and the togruta and getting the hell out of Dodge in my speeder and it felt so right grandpa” she took a deep breath and a gulp of tea “and then I’m dropping him off at the Senate building and he’s kissing me again, only this time I kiss him back because dammit who can resist those stupid brown eyes when they have that look”

“So that’s why you think you’re doomed” Obiwan agreed “you’re right dear, you are very much doomed, has he asked you to marry him yet?”

“After we broke apart from that kiss”

“And now he’s sending you flowers” Grandfather chuckled “if you dislike the gesture why don’t you tell him to stop?”

“Because then I’d have to talk to him!” Kira replied then she smiled a little bit momentarily lighting up the perpetual scowl on her face “besides nobody has ever sent me flowers before, all the guys that like me are way too scared”

“What do your sisters think about it?”

“Oh Force if they knew it’s him I’ll never hear the end of it from Rey, they all know scoundrels are so not my kriffin type”

“Exept one scoundrel apparently is”

“I blame the Bambi eyes” Kira crossed her arms over her chest “and you grandpa are not allowed to tell anybody capisce?”

“Who would I tell?” Obiwan lied knowing fully well what his next topic of discussion with Anakin would be when they met up for senior discount brunch in his penitentiary’s cafe

“So what do I do? I don’t want to like him, he’s still an asshole with a hero complex and a womanizer track record”

“Trust the force?” Her grandfather joked earning him a glower from Kira “just follow your instincts Kira, that’s what my old master used to say”

“Your old master died a virgin”

“Actually Qui Gon lied to the Jedi Council about that but that’s a story for another day”

“So it wasn’t just you and vader who lied about that?…You know you Jedis had a ton of double standards” Kira needled in, much like the eldest Solo triplet, Kira had also done a stint in the Secret, Institution for Terror and Hostility (S.I.T.H) that opposed the Jedi order during her teens.

Obiwan had breathed easily when Kira’s fascination with the emperor (who was rumored to be related to the triplets mysterious mother) had dwindled from Sith tendencies down into a simple knack for collecting empire related memorabilia. As opposed to Kylo’s much more painful experience at the hands of Snoke the last head of the Sith organization.

“And that’s a lesson to learn from the old Jedi order that Luke took into account” Obiwan cut off good-naturedly “avoid double standards” he sent her a pointed look “anything else you’d like to share? I can see it’s eating you, trust me my dear if he likes you everything will be fine”

“His last flowers came with tickets to a Black Sabbath concert” Kira confessed ruefully “I didn’t exactly talk to him, but I might have sent him a text telling him to pick me up in three hours”

“I don’t know what millennials are calling that nowadays but in my time we called that a date”

“It’s not a date! I don’t do dates, dates are for pathetic people like Matt and Daisy”

“Does Ben Solo know that?” Obiwan chuckled

“Shut up Grandpa” Kira put her head in her arms and let out a scream “Force I’m so kriffin doomed”

And Obiwan did as a good grandfather would and didn’t voice his agreement out loud “it’s all right Kira, if he gets too out of hand you can just punch him again”

“What if I don’t want to punch him?” Kira raised her head from her arms

“Then you don’t punch him, simple as that”

“I don’t want to be a notch in his bedpost, I’d die if I’m just a game for his stupid nerf herder ass”

“Kira any man that even thinks that you’re the type of girl that gets used like that, deserves all the pain he’ll get when you disabuse him of the notion”

“Thanks Grandpa, that…Made me feel oddly better”

Obiwan sighed leave it to Kira to be comforted by thoughts of violent retribution “You have a Jedi blessing to break that boy’s bones if he doesn’t behave”

“And here I thought you couldn’t be a sweeter old man” Kira smiled “thank you, I really needed to hear that”

Oh Anakin would have a life support field day when Obiwan shared the latest Grandchild gossip, that’s for sure, but in the meantime Obiwan Kenobi poured more tea and listened to Kira’s dramatic death threats towards the man she liked.

He wished Satine could see him now, she would laugh too.

An: lils happy early birthday, Dark Rey was fun to write. Lilithsaur dear this fic was inspired by Franco and Sarita’s relationship in PDG. Also the girls love for quirky Grandpa Martin..

[i-aim-to-overanalyze]

In Loco Parentis

tfw you cant come up with a fancy title so you just use that latin phrase you learned from a Series of Unfortunate Events

Hello! This is basically my take on a SW AU where Anakin accidentally time-travels twenty years into the future and runs into Luke. It takes place between ANH and ESB. Featuring an angsty Anakin lol what else is new? and the smol-angry cinnamon roll Luke who is ready to f i g h t for his father’s honor. You know, fun stuff :D

He didn’t know how much he missed the light of another force-sensitive until it hit him. For weeks, he’d been wandering in this hellish nightmare. In an universe with no stars. Only the oppressive darkness that towered over him. There was the Force, but the Force felt…dimmed to him. Perhaps it was because he could no longer sense the lights of the Jedi. Empty dead space occupied where the untarnished, ten-thousand strong Jedi once stood.

The light was almost…blinding. It was rippling with power—power that rivaled the lights of the Jedi masters of the old Republic. Was this what his presence felt to others? Because he could easily see how some believed he was the Chosen One.

As the presence drew near, he could sense the anger that crackled against their force-shields. This presence, though powerful, was a novice. Their shielding was that of a young padawan. Even Ahsoka could shield better than that.

The ground vibrated as angry footsteps headed his way. The sound awaked him from his thoughts—his hand resting on his hilt. The presence wasn’t angry at the storm troopers swarming around the place. Its’ anger was directed at him.

“YOU!” A voice roared as an ignited lightsaber was directed towards his face, “Why are you using the name Anakin Skywalker?!”

Anakin’s mouth ran dry as he stared down into hardened blue eyes of the young man.

He regretted using his real name. He regretted it as soon as he figured out that this nightmare—this force vision not a vision at all. He’d learned after the Republic’s fall, he had become something of a legend in the galaxy. Oh, the Empire tried to keep things hush-hushed. The Jedi had been evil. The Jedi had tried to take over the Senate. Facts that Anakin desperately believed had to be wrong.

But the Empire couldn’t control every mind of the galaxy. There were whispers when the Imperials weren’t around. Whispers of the old days. The days where Jedi upheld peace. It was then people spoke of the heroes of the old Republic. Most notably, The Great Negotiator and the Hero With No Fear.

Anakin wasn’t supposed to be alive. He should be dead. He had failed them. He had failed the Republic, he had failed Obiwan, he had failed Padme. His sweet, sweet Padme. He had let darkness take control of the whole galaxy. He had trusted Palpatine far too easily—let that kriffing charlatan ruin the whole galaxy. If he had been wiser—had seen the warning signs—he could’ve saved the whole galaxy. He supposed, he deserved this. He deserved to see how his ignorance destroyed millions of lives. It was his punishment—to wander without rest.

“Answer me!” The young man yelled.

He force-pushed Anakin into the wall. Anakin had let him—didn’t try to resist him. His backside screamed in pain. But Anakin ignored it. He was used to pain. He instead looked up at the heaving figure.

Anakin couldn’t explain it. There was an uncanny familiarity about the young man. His hair was blond—almost had a sandy quality about it. As his short stature loomed over Anakin’s collapsed figure, he realized something. He reminded him of Padme. There was barely a physical resemblance and yet—

Anakin took a deep breath.

“I use that name because—“ He winced as he pulled himself up, “I am Anakin Skywalker.”

“Lies,” The man trembled, “Anakin Skywalker was killed by Darth Vader’s blade years ago—there’s no way—!”

This was obviously a touchy subject for him—it was personal. Anakin poked around on the edges of his shields. The young man was angry, angry that he had dared to use the name. Anakin’s name held meaning to his life. The fact that a stranger was using it was disrespectful in his eyes.

He dove a little deeper, past the shield’s walls. He was angry, but it was deeper than that. It was…grief. The all-to-familiar emotion enveloped Anakin, choking him. It wouldn’t let go until Anakin retreated to his own mind.

A glowing blue light was swiftly brought at his neck.

“What did you just do?” He hissed.

Anakin found it hard to look the man in the face. He had invaded his mind and the young man had realized it. Anakin felt almost guilty about it. His eyes drifting slowly down to the man’s lightsaber. It was hard to tell when both of his hands were covering the hilt but well…

The kyber-crystal sang to him through the Force. It was his lightsaber, he realized. The only he painstakingly crafted until it was perfection. An exact replica as the one that was attached to his belt. He wanted to feel angered at seeing it in this novice’s hands. But he could sense that this lightsaber had bonded with the young man.

A lightsaber was an extension of the Force—it was tool that helped conduct a Jedi’s power through it. As such, Jedi often crafted their own to suit their own unique strengths and weaknesses. It was uncommon for a Jedi to become attuned with a lightsaber that was not their own.

“Your shielding is weak,” He commented as he leapt into a backflip and ignited his light saber.

“Shielding…?” The young man furrowed his eyebrows, genuinely confused.

“You don’t know what shielding is?” Anakin asked, confounded himself. He had figured he was untrained—but not this untrained.

“Wh—It doesn’t matter!” The young man shook his head, “You still haven’t answered the question!”

“Why does it matter to you?” Anakin asked, “Why does it matter if I use the name of a legend to fight against the Empire? To inspire hope for millions? If my name isn’t truly Anakin Skywalker, that is.”

He could tell that the question threw him off-guard. He was itching for a fight. For a chance to prove himself. The young man knew that he was inexperienced. Knew he was the furthest thing from a Jedi. It reminded Anakin of the day he first arrived at the Jedi Temple. How crushed he was when the Council turned their noses up at him.

“Because,” The young man raised his lightsaber, “I will not let you use the name of my father like that!”

Although he was the master in the room, Anakin barely blocked his first attack. The sudden shock threw him off-balanced. The young man paid no heed, continuing to relentlessly attack with his sloppy jabs.

Padme had died. She had died amid the Republic collapsing—the cause of her death was unclear. Perhaps mudded by the Empire’s intervention.  His angel was so focused on upholding liberty—he wouldn’t doubt if she had been assassinated. He knew her well to know she wouldn’t have kept her voice silent.

He’d found the holo-recording of her funeral. He knew he should’ve not watched it. He tried hard not to. But he couldn’t ignore the temptation. What hurt him the most other than seeing her lifeless body was her obvious rounded belly. His lady had been pregnant when she died. With his child.

But his son was here—fighting in honor of his name. This child had never even met Anakin and yet—he was willing to risk his life defending a dead man’s name. He didn’t know how this was possible. But the Force rang true with his son’s words. He had a son.

However, he had no idea how to convince him of this fact. Time travel, by the Force or other means, had not been proven. There had been many attempts over the years but never any successful ones. He doubted there was any in this time either. He hardly believed it himself.

“You leave too many holes in your defense,” Anakin remarked as his lightsaber glazed his son’s shoulder.

His son flinched from the pain and he grimaced as well. He didn’t want to cause him pain. He had already caused him pain enough. But his son was insistent on fighting him and there was no accessible escape in sight.

His son didn’t respond to his comment, charging him once more. He was not used to lightsaber combat. It was understandable as there wasn’t many force-wielders left in the galaxy. His son was probably self-taught no doubt. But this meant that he was very clumsy and sloppy with a saber. He had an immense power, but was too untrained to harness it.

Anakin blocked his lightsaber and reached a hand outwards. He effectively launched him away with a force-push. His son’s lightsaber clattered to the ground, dis-igniting on impact.

“What,” Anakin heaved, “is your name?”

“My name,” He stared defiantly at him, “Is Luke Skywalker.”

“Luke,” He mused, “That’s a good name.”

Anakin sighed, shaking his head as he shut off his lightsaber.

“I don’t want to fight you—“

A screeching noise interrupted Anakin, echoing through the hallway.

“R2?!” They both called out at the same time, before looking at each other in mutual surprise.

The blue and white droid came urgently sliding down the hallway. He was babbling in binary about some danger at Luke’s ship. Anakin felt relieved to see that the droid had survived the old Republic’s collapse. That at least one of his friends was still present.

“R2, what are you doing here? I asked you to stay behind and watch the ship.” Luke frowned, as he laid a hand on the droid.

“It appears something happened to your ship and he came to alert you about it.” Anakin spoke up, staring at the droid.

At the sound of Anakin’s voice, the astromerch turned to face his former friend. He was silent, quietly analyzing Anakin no doubt. He abruptly slid directly at Anakin, running his foot over with his front leg.

“Ouch!” Anakin clutched his leg, “What was that for?”

R2 let out a low whistle. For leaving me.

There was a lot of people in the galaxy that believed droids had no feelings. But Anakin Skywalker was not one of those people. He had worked with enough droids to know they developed individual thoughts and feelings if you let them. That’s why he never wiped R2D2’s memory on anything. It seemed that the droid had remained that way, too.

“I’m sorry, pal.” Anakin hugged the droid tightly, “I’m sorry for leaving you.”

“How do you know R2?” Luke asked.

His son’s anger had lessened, but he still remained highly suspicious of him. He had realized there something more going on here.  Still, he wasn’t about to trust a twenty-something claiming to be his father just yet.

“He was—he was my wife’s wedding present to me.” His voice cracked.

It felt odd speaking openly about Padme in such a way. For so long he was used keeping it a secret, that it felt wrong to admit it. It was something he imagined that he would freely speak about.

Though he never imagined that anything that happened these past few weeks to be a possibility. Things like holding a conversation with his future son was quickly becoming the new norm.

“Wedding present?” Luke’s eyes widened.

The kid probably never knew the Jedi code—he doubted Luke would defend him if he’d known. However he still flinched when he heard his reaction. It reminded him of how he feared the others would react. How Obiwan—who had been like a father to him—would react. The Jedi knew love. They knew how to be compassionate. It was how he rationalized that his love was justifiable. Still, he knew deep down that the Jedi wouldn’t hold much love for him if they knew the truth.

He opened his mouth. He wanted to explain everything. How he’d fallen in love with Padme. How beautiful their wedding had been—just the two of them and their droids.

R2D2 let out an urgent whistle, shaking from side-to-side. Anakin didn’t need the Force to understand that trouble was heading their way.

“It seems like those Imperials who discovered your ship are heading our way,” Anakin mused as he fingered his blaster.

He didn’t like the bulky thing. It was nothing compared to his trusty lightsaber. However he had learned that a lightsaber attracted a lot more unwanted attention these days. The Storm-Troopers may be a joke compared to the clones, but they still greatly outnumbered him.

“What are you going to do?” Luke asked, as he pulled out a blaster of his own.

He was still guarded around Anakin; unconsciously wrapping what little of his shields tighter around himself.

“Look. I realize you have no reason to trust me. But it’s a bit of a long story and there isn’t enough time right now to explain. I’ll explain as soon as we knock these imps off our tail.”

Luke slowly nodded, “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

He relaxed a little, perhaps sensing the honesty in Anakin’s words. He wasn’t going to try to kill Anakin—for right now at least. Anakin didn’t know the first step in parenting but he believed that a good step towards the right direction.

“Good,” Anakin smirked, “Now, let’s go teach those imps a lesson.”

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode I -The Phantom Menace

So.. I got the idea of writing my thoughts up as I go basically as they get to the Gungan city so.. i’ll try and remember my thoughts before that and then I’ll do it kinda live. Under the cut cus long. 

Alright.. So the opening crawl was very.. politics which to be honest as i’ve got older I actually kind of enjoy that side of Star Wars but it doesn’t really add anyhting to the actual film because I think everything thats in it could be picked up by just watching the film. 

I kinda like the battle droids.. weird soft spot for them. I like the big ship ones too and Droidekas i thought were the coolest shit ever when i was a kid and i stand by that. 

I’m not all that bothered by the racial stereotypes because like.. i’m not the races they’re sterotyping but i can see why it’d be problematic.

Jar Jar isn’t as annoying as everyone makes him out to be.. don’t get me wrong.. he’s annoying.. but he’s not cancer. 

Aesthetically the Gungan City is pretty cool, giant underwater bubble city.. i bet there’s cool fan art of it somewhere. 

Alright now we’re live.. The duck things the Gungans ride are weird. 

Do Gungans like JarJar eventually become the giant Green guy? .. I googled apparently they’re just two different races of Gungan despite looking like totally different Aliens.

It’s nice that all races are like “Life debt? Oh yeah thats a legit thing.”

Gungans speak like English or Common or.. i forget the Star Wars term.. Basic? is their second language.. but it isnt. 

Yooo Qui Gon just made JarJar go to sleep using the force.. Why is Force Sleep not a thing in more stuff... gotta keep an eye out for that now. 

Naboo is pretty.

Padme is so extra, she’s in her iconic red dress that’s already extra as fuck and then sees that she’s been captured and is like “Alright.. but first.. wardrobe change!” and then shows up in some black number. I’m not sure if at this point she’s actually Padme or if Padme is pretending to be one of her servants now but either way she had a costume change and nobody questions it so she must be having costume changes all the time. 

When Qui Gon force pushes two battle droids theres a really weird sound effect that sounds like it belongs in a mario game. 

Pretty sure Padme is the handmaid now and this new Queen should take the opportunity to be like “Yoo peace out bitches.” Then we get Keira Knightley’s adventures in Star Wars.

Also who was she before this swaparoo? Was she a handmaid and just suddenly got promoted to queen? Like she could be saying all sorts of shit. I know she gets revealed later on but think of how much she could do whilst Padme is away. 

The first words ever spoken to R2 in Star Wars, chronologically, (although inderectly) are “Hello Boyos”. Just sit with that. 

The first words spoken to him directly are “How rude.” which seems about right tbf with how sassy he is. 

Darth Maul is awesome. 

Keira Knightly or Sabe (I looked it up) is like “Yo actual queen, clean that droid!” i think she just wanted to feel more powerful than the actual queen there, little power trip. 

Nice Poncho Qui Gon. Cal approves. 

I wonder how long Padme took to convince the others to let her go off alone with Qui Gon and Jar Jar and R2 (Dunno why R2 joins them?) on a planet thats ruled by the Hutts

I kinda like Watto.. not as a person.. he just amuses me.

Kinda cool that Anakin can speak Huttese, wish he spoke it more often.. just cursing in Huttese as Obi Wan tries to teach him stuff. 

“Are you an Angel.” Smooooth kid. Smoooth, you’re gonna get with her. Despite her being way older than you. They couldn’t have just made him the same age as her? 

Toydarians should be used for more things, especially involving force users. 

Anakin. The slave. Is like “Here Qui Gon, you’ll like this food.” and he’s just like “Cheers” and pockets it for later. Dude. Try it. 

I really hope they do go into more High Republic stuff next, give me a Destiny-type game where you play as a Jedi with your mates. 

Quigons like “You must have Jedi reflexes to race pods” Then he catches Jar Jars tongue in a blink of an eye and Anakins like “You’re a Jedi Knight aren’t you?” And Qui-Gon is like “What makes you think that?” ...? .. You just fucking.. God damn it Qui-Gon. 

Anakin: “No one can kill a Jedi”. Palpatine: “Hold my Blue milk.”

I feel like im becoming fluent in Gungan broken basic which is worrying. 

Anakins mom whos name i’ve literally just forgot is like “He was meant to help you.” ... bitch.. what? Why does nobody question that? 

WHY DOES JAR JARS MOUTH MOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLES LINES!? ... Darth Jar Jar.  #PlagueisTheWiseWasAGungan. I mean not rly but seriously.. that would have been a really cool plot twist. 

Jar Jar got numbed and got his hand stuck.. so like.. perhaps not.. otherwise you’re playing a little too dumb mate. 

The look of worry from Shmi, good stuff. 

The two Headed announcer speaking basic and Huttese is pretty smart like, the one doing one and the other doing the other. 

What the fuck is Clegg Holdfast?

What the fuck are any of these races? Like.. where are these races throughout the rest of the franchise? 

Crazy that lightly bending that one part of the podracer can fuck it up so bad. 

Who the fuck is that other Hutt? Oh yeah I’m watching the like updated version with Geroge Lucas’ “Fixes” in it. Probably should have said that earlier. 

I cant remember if this is true but I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon knows Padme is the Queen and is just fucking with her at this point. 

Man Pod Racing is cool, fuck whoever says it isnt. 

Gimmie an updated Pod Racing ps4 game.

What the fuck is that long thin alien thats selling food to the crowd? Gimmie a Jedi version of him. 

Havent commented in a while because i just kept watching it tbh.

Coruscant looks cool. Still want more High Republic stuff. 

What the fuck is that driver alien, he looks in pain to exist. 

“There is no civility, there is only politics” The Chancellor code. 

Is it too late to call a vote of no confidence on Palpatine? 

I see you there in the background Yaddle. Get it girl. 

Fuck me the added extra of this long neck ass Jedi Master is so distracting. 

Where Jaro Tapal at tho?

You’d think after Padme’s like “Surprise bitch it’s me” moment coming up the Jedi would be like “Well shit.. maybe we’re less aware of things than we think... Yoda.. are you just a short human painted green?” 

Amedala... So extra with these outfits. I get that she’s a Queen but Jesus. 

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy it’s ET. 

Qui-Gon is such a bad boy. 

I kinda get why Jedi take kids when they’re really young, so they can’t remember their parents so they aren’t constantly worried about their parents and then fall to the dark side... doesn’t make it any nicer though. 

My vote went to Bail Antilles. 

To be fair not training Anakin could have been very bad. He could have like gone even more Darkside and Palpatine could swooped in and trained him himself completely. 

Maul is barely in this but fuck is he still cool. 

You know what I don’t hate Midichlorians. They’re just like atoms that stick to certain people and thats what gives them access to the force, it doens’t really change anything it’s just a scientific explination. 

You know what.. During the middle of the film, Jar Jar keeps his mouth shut and just lets people get on with it, that’s alright. 

How old is Obiwan supposed to be in this film? 

A little more variation in these creepy ass gungans would be nice. 

Damn the Viceroy and the other guy are huge or Maul is smol. 

Love that Gungan dindgeridoo horn thing. 

I also love the giant bubble shields. 

Are they watching a Star Wars battle tactics pc game on that screen?

Fuck The Darth Maul fight is badass. 

I don’t buy Anakin at all, he wants to fly out there and get involved, the little shit. 

Quigon doesnt even flip when he jumps, he’s just like “I’m too old for this shit.”

Yeah R2 is like “Go back” and Anakins like “Naaa fuck that”... Tut tut. Boys gonna be trouble.

The way Maul stalks back and forth the other side of that barrier like a Sith Tiger.. Good shit. 

Aaaaand Quigon is dead. RIP. 

“Now This is Pod Racing.”.. It’s not though is it? 

Nice to have something blow up and actually have debris instead of just all being gone completely. 

Anddd there goes Maul to go get robot spider legs and then be found by his bro Savage. 

Why do you wanna bring balance to the force anyway if it’s currently so one sided favouring the light side? Surely bringing balance is a bad thing at that point. 

Yoda’s already soooo old. 

Alright so they know there’s a Sith out there and the guy is still just like right next to them and they don’t know. Tut. 

That Jedi behind Mace Windu at the end looks intimidating as shit. 

Padme, he’s a kid, calm yourself down woman. You predator. 

Alright.. Film done. 10/10 Best movie ever. Naa tbh I enjoy the prequels more than most, obviously if you’ve stuck with me this long you know that but it clearly has its flaws.. still.. I enjoyed it! Feel free to ask me my opinions on specific things if you want.  Also shamelessly gonna plug my two star wars muses Cal and Savage here, rp with me you cowards. Also I’m down to star wars verse any of my other characters, literally any of them, i have ideas for all.