#obviously Shawn flirts with Lassiter

[thespiritssaidso]

The fangirl part of me is fully convinced that Lassiter has had a crush on Shawn since season one and doesn’t know how deal with it healthily. The angsty part of me, however, often likes to add that Shawn probably does not reciprocate Lassiter’s feelings for him.

[cintasfics]

I love when writers post the thoughts/ideas they have for their fics like a kind of behind the scenes thing, so I thought I would share what I've come up with while brainstorming for my psych fics!

Shawn realises he never has to see a doctor again since he now has his own personal nurse - a title she vehemently protests - but more than once she's turned the office into a mini clinic to patch up him and Gus (mainly Shawn)

Henry and Marley having matching Hawaiian shirts to Shawn's disgust

The boys get hired to solve a case at a local cat show and Marley's cat is entered to get close to the competitors ('go out there and make mummy proud' 'yes ma'am' 'I could not have been more obviously talking to the cat')

Once Shawn realises that Lassie has a thing for Marley, he starts using her as a distraction (often just pushing her towards him with a quick 'catch!' - cue a flustered Lassie and Marley tripping over each other while he and Gus make a break for it)

A tip off that Marley likes Lassiter is that she’s the only one who finds him funny

They get a private case that leads them to a nightclub where they decide the best way to proceed is undercover. Marley does pole dancing for fitness/fun and takes on the role of a go-go dancer after some convincing. The case ends up becoming a police matter and Lassiter is awestruck when he spots Marley dancing. The case is quickly solved when Shawn has his moment in the spotlight and the episode ends with Lassiter giving Marley his jacket while they stand outside wrapping things up

Juliet sets Marley up on a date with someone. She starts to notice Lassiter is acting funny whenever it comes up which clues her in to the fact he likes her

Marley gets injured and ends up in hospital high on pain meds. Shawn and Gus are having the time of their lives messing with her and it gets even better when Lassie stops by and she starts flirting with him

Marley fell first, Lassiter fell harder

After an impulsive kiss and realising they like each other, they have the ‘what are we?’ conversation. Classic interrupting kiss when Marley asks if he’s ready for this with his divorce still being fresh in his mind

Shawn showing up to Marley's apartment uninvited (as usual). Lassie opens the door, sees it's Shawn, and immediately closes it again. Cue protests through the door from Shawn and amused exasperation from Marley

When walking together Lassiter’s hand is almost always on her lower back

For plot reasons, Marley stays with Lassie for a week or so, and by the end of it they’ve gotten so used to living with each other that he asks her to move in

Lassie notices Marley isn’t as cheerful as usual and goes on a war path to figure out what’s wrong

Lassie and Shawn playing tug of war with Marley (‘Let’s go, Marls!’ ‘Hold it!’ - Marley getting jerked back and forth as they argue over the plan of action)

Lassie unconsciously standing in front of Marley to shield her whenever confronting someone during a case

Denying their feelings but being able to answer every question about the other person when quizzed

Arcade date where Lassie shows off his ski ball skills

Shawn noticing a piece of clothing belonging to the other in Marley/Lassie’s place and refusing to let it go

One of them slipping up and using their nickname/pet name at work, cue teasing

Marley’s parents come to visit after her and Lassie get together and it becomes a contest between him and Shawn over who her parents like more

[morphlingunderscore]

Weird crossover au idea but hear me out: D:BH and Psych

- Tired, older cop with a high title earned at a young age and is Very Grouchy. - Hi I’m Connor, I’m the android sent by cyberlife. Hi I’m Shawn, I’m the psychic android prototype sent by cyberlife.” - Shawn is Extremely Sassy and blasé for an android, much to Lassiter’s chagrin. (Did Cyberlife do that on purpose?? Are they all a bunch of sadistic bastards who gave him the ONE android that’s completely impossible to work with?) - The first time Shawn gets stabbed: Shawn: *stares at it* Can I keep this? - Lassiter has never seen someone so casually rip a knife out of their shoulder and effortlessly tackle and restrain their attacker afterwards. He doesn’t think he wants to. - “Lieutenant, I think you need a chill pill.” “I swear to god Shawn–” *We’ll Be Right Back Theme Plays* - The whole ‘this robot is psychic’ thing is bs to Lassiter, even though Shawn is adamant about it. If humans can’t be psychic, a damn tin can certainly can’t be. - Shawn’s definitely good at what he does though. Lassiter would never admit it. - Lassiter’s main issue with Shawn is (besides being an android, although he’s mostly okay with them he’s never been more annoyed by working with one) how he claims he’s “"psychic”“ and how relaxed and almost humorous he can be at a crime scene. - Shawn definitely licks as many things as possible just to annoy and disgust Lassiter. - Lassiter thinks Shawn is just this arrogant hunk of metal that doesn’t actually feel anything, no matter how he acts. - His first clue that that isn’t the case is when Shawn gets briefly taken by a suspect for Lassiter to find with a gun at his head and the suspect demanding they let him go free and their precious plastic toy won’t get damaged. - Shawn is still smiling, but it’s obviously forced, because the android isn’t used to putting real effort into his expressions. He encourages Lassiter to detain the suspect and ignore the request. - “Lassie, it’ll be fine! They’ll replace me with another PS800 model and we can keep working, what do you say?” - His led is rapidly pulsing yellow, occasionally falling into red. - Lassiter lets the suspect go (but not without calling backup and describing the suspect’s getaway car and liscence plate). - Shawn is not good at hiding his relief when the gun lifts and the guy runs for it. - Lassiter takes him to his house after that. (“You just… Stay in the closet in the precinct?!” “I know it’s not lavish or anything but they let me decorate the broom okay.” “Shawn no.”) - Oh yeah Henry is Amanda, but less…. Amanda-like. - Still emotionally manipulative, but not “I’m going to take over your body” bad. - Gus is a witness that gets roped into the investigation. - Jules playfully banters with Shawn all the time and they flirt like nobody’s business. She makes it clear that she’s not interested romantically in him, however, and Shawn doesn’t really have a grasp on emotions to understand what a crush is until long after the revolution, when their friendship was already cemented. - “Wait, I like Juliet?” “You’re goddamn hopeless, Shawn.”

[loving-jack-kelly]

Psych AU

Jack

Is Shawn, obviously

Cop dad, troublemaker because he liked disrupting his dad’s authority, actually very smart but does his absolute best to avoid people knowing it

His dad figured out he had a photographic memory when they were like, watching a movie, and Jack called out a mistake that nobody believed was real until he rewound and showed them, and then trained him to be super observant

His dad really wanted him to be a cop and Jack refused out of principle

Never held a job for long because as soon as something else caught his eye he’d go for it

Usually squeaked by on stretching pay from a job for forever, living in a tiny apartment, and doing art commissions when he could get them

Is really good at reading people from what his dad taught him

A Chaotic Good in its purest form, he’s always trying to help people but gets in his own way with his antics

Davey

Is Gus

Jack’s best friend while they were growing up

Was very respectful of authority and balanced Jack out, until Jack got him in on his schemes and then they were the terror of every adult in town

Pharmaceutical salesman, knows so many medicines off the top of his head

Drive a Blueberry and Jack makes fun of it but actually loves the car

Lawful Good, always obey the rules unless Jack makes him do otherwise, has a hard time lying

Spot

Lassiter, obviously he’s Lassie guys

Head detective, very put together and capable

Solves cases all the time and hates that Jack also solves cases all the time

Acts high and mighty but really does care about everyone

Crutchie

Juliet, Crutchie is Jules

Shows up and Jack is instantly like oh boy that crush hit me over the head with the velocity of a 747

He’s a transfer detective who’s worked his whole life to get where he is despite being an amputee and having a prosthetic

Jack acts like his crush is a joke but means it 100%

Crutchie is very capable and kicks ass and hates being underestimated because it’s almost kept him from achieving his dream before

When he was first trying to get to be a police officer he almost wasn’t allowed into police academy because they thought his prosthetic was a hazard and it took him his entire time to convince them otherwise

Now he won’t let anything get in the way of his being the best detective he can be

At first Jack bothers him because he had to work so hard to get where he is and Jack just shows up and starts solving crimes without seemingly a second thought, but Jack grows on him

Katherine

Chief Vick

Is technically the interim chief but she’ll death glare anyone who calls her that because she deserves to be full chief and everyone knows it

Very skeptical of Jack and thus Davey but they are efficient and so she lets them keep working

Jack likes calling in tips to the police when he solves a case on his own because he thinks it’s funny that he can solve crimes from his couch that the police can’t

Eventually he calls one in and they call him in, he assumes it’s for like, reward money, but actually they suspect him in the case because he was right but it sounded like insider knowledge

He doesn’t want to admit he figured it out because of his observance and memory, but they’re going to arrest him, and he noticed the front desk cop was superstitious and so on a whim claims to be a psychic

Spot, the would-be arresting officer, is like, no way, that’s fake, psychics don’t exist

But Jack uses the things he noticed while waiting to be seen to “prove” that he’s psychic and everyone kind of starts to believe him because how else did he know so much about people he’d never met before?

But then Katherine hires him as a consultant for a case that they can’t solve because she figures he can’t do much harm when they’re about to lose the case to higher ups anyway

So Jack shows up to Davey’s job and is like, dude, I have a job and you have a job with me, let’s go

To which Davey responds, no way am I doing anything with you, your last five job attempts have been disasters

But Jack convinces him eventually and soon they have an office and a private investigative business

Davey constantly threatens to tell everyone that Jack isn’t a psychic but he never would because Jack really is solving crimes and they’re best friends

Jack flirts. With literally anyone. Even when it’s entirely inappropriate. Davey does his best to keep him in check. It doesn’t really work

Jack his sister just died don’t flirt with him

Jack her best friend is missing

Jack he’s the bad guy

Jack she is literally trying to murder us stop complimenting her form

Jack he

Jack she

Jack

He’s so ridiculously bi people genuinely think he’s joking like they think he’s straight making gay jokes because of the sheer number of times he flirts with guys and girls all the time

He does his best to seem as immature as possible, but he has a pretty high emotional intelligence

For a while, Crutchie is dating a guy who’s similar to Jack, which makes Jack sad because he wants to be dating Crutchie but Crutchie has never seemed interested

Eventually Crutchie overhears Jack talking to Davey about him and Jack says that he’s willing to just be friends if that means Crutchie is happy, only he wants to be happy too, and he can’t imagine being happy without Crutchie because he’s pretty much fallen in love with him over the years they’ve gotten to work together

And then Crutchie eventually gets together with Jack, after he gets out of his other relationship

Dating Jack is essentially dating both Jack and Davey because they’re always together

It also ends up being much like babysitting sometimes, because Jack gets into all sorts of trouble and Davey only does so much to stop him before joining in

Also when Jack proposes his speech (taken directly from Shawn’s proposal bc tbh it was an incredible proposal) goes like this:

Charlie Morris, I do not believe in love at first sight, because I didn’t even need to see you to know I wanted to spend forever with you. That didn’t make any sense. Scratch that. I have spent my whole life running from one thing to another, quitting and running and quitting and running and pretending that my destiny was to drive a wienermobile.

Davey: He was young and afraid of commitment.

That’s true. But I’m not that young anymore. And I’m also not afraid. Because when I’m with you, Char, I’m just fearless and unbreakable.

Davey: Like Samuel L. Jackson.

Jack: No, Samuel L. Jackson was the glass man.

Davey: Not emotionally, Jack, not emotionally.

Jack: Okay, dude, well dial it back just a teeny bit.

Davey: *choked up* Okay.

I know that I come with baggage, and a best friend who’s not going anywhere. Ever. But I promise you that from this moment forward the only running I will be doing is into your arms, and I will never stop holding your cold little hands or losing myself when I wake up in the morning and look at you and recognize how frickin’ lucky I am.

Davey: *in the background* Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, it’s happening, say yes, say yes!

Crutchie: Yes, yes!

Jack: Okay, well technically, you just said yes to Davey.

Crutchie: Well ask me, Jack!

Crutchie, will you marry us? Me? Mostly me? Even though Davey is always gonna be part of the deal and one day he’ll have his own Crutchie and we’ll be one big family and we’ll have dogs, all rescues, and kids, probable before we’re sixty. Just marry me so I can show you how amazing our life will be together?

Davey was crying by the end of it and Crutchie said yes, obviously, please do yourself a favor and watch the scene from the real show it’s cinematic genius.

Spot meets Race and for pretty much the only time in his life opens up easily and right away

And then it turns out Race is the criminal in the case they’re working on and Spot has to arrest him but he promises to wait until Race is out of prison and they end up together anyway

Now for the true reason this au works: the quotes. The dialogue. All of these are direct quotes from the show.

Davey: You named your fake detective agency "Psych"? As in "got you"? Why didn't you just call it "Hey, we're fooling you and the police department; hope we don't make a mistake and somebody dies because of it."

Jack: First of all, Davey, that name is entirely too long; it would never fit on the window. And secondly, the best way you convince people you're not lying to them is to tell them you are!

Davey: How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?

Jack: What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?

Jack: Good morning, detectives! Are we collecting donations for the policeman's ball?

Spot: We don't have balls.

Jack: I honestly have no response to that.

Crutchie: You're not hired. I can't pay you. If it turns out there's something to it, I'll make sure you get put on the case. That's all I can do.

Jack: Crutchie, I'm quite sure we could work out some kind of services exchange. You see I like to do some sketching myself and sometimes I need a model.

Crutchie: Huh! [gets up and walks from the room]

Jack: Was that inappropriate? ...Felt OK.

Jack: Don't panic. Those bites are consistent with a T-Rex bite.

Davey: You know that?

Jack: Yes, I know that. [shows picture of himself in the mouth of a T-Rex skeleton] I was banned from the Wyoming National Museum for that shot. The bruises didn't go away for a year, but it was totally worth it. It was my best screensaver ever!

Crutchie: Jack, how do you know this?

Jack: The same way that I know that as a child Spot wanted nothing more than a pony.

[They all look at Spot]

Spot: Oh, come on. Who didn't?

Davey: Anyone who wasn't an 8 year-old girl.

Spot: I hate snow globes.

Jack: Huh. That's strange, because my psychic sense told me specifically that snow globes didn't give you nightmares of being trapped in a clear ball with snow that burned your skin off.

Spot: Who keeps telling people I like snow globes?!

Jack: I don't think anyone's here.

Davey: How sure are you?

Jack: Fairly to pretty damn.

Jack: Davey, don't be a myopic chihuahua. I have a full-proof plan that solves the case and gives the Chief all the credit.

Davey: What is it?

Jack: Actually, all I have is the phrase "I have a full-proof plan." Beyond that, I'm wide open.

And so many more these are all from like the first three seasons of eight the whole show is like this it’s incredible and I love it